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islandofsages · 2 years

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speechless.

summary: in which you don lingerie.

characters: all the playable tall genshin men x male!reader

tags: queerplatonic, canon compliant, fluff, hc format

warnings: hugging, cuddling, touching in general, sleeping in the same bed

author’s notes: i am a trans man who likes the thought of wearing lingerie. so this should be no surprise to you. also bc i found a nice website of lingerie for men! it’s called xdress if any of you wanna check it out ^_^

FEM/FEM-ALIGNED DNI. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. ALSO DON’T MAKE THIS WEIRD/NSFW, I’LL BLOCK YOU TOO.

ayato

you can see his cheeks are tinted with a soft pink and accompanied with the wistful look on his face, you conclude that he’s being absolutely adorable

he’d say you look stunning but you quite literally stunned him into silence. so much so that you grow worried for a second because of his lack of response

you walk over to him to shake him back to life - but then he surprises you with his words, barely above a whisper

“you’re dazzling.”

you shoot him a smile just as dazzling and, though his face remains unchanging, you swear you can see him grow more bewitched by you

when he does finally move, he only blinks as if he’s been broken out of a spell and beckons you to follow him to bed to get some shut-eye

he asks his retainers to get you more lingerie the very next day

childe

he bought that piece of lingerie as a joke and because someone dared him to but you in the piece itself is no joke, oh no siree

he’s about to have a heart attack over how astonishing you look. look, he’s already clutching his heart like the dramatic guy that he is!

jokes aside, he absolutely adores you he always does but especially right now plus he’s glad that the piece ended up not going to waste

he’d shower you in compliments while holding onto you and you’d struggle to thank him for every single one that at some point you just drown in a sea of flattery

“archons, how did i end up with someone as fantastic as you?”

you say you’ll wear it more since he likes it that much and he just screams internally (in a good way of course)

will spend all his savings just to fill your closet with more lingerie with the highest quality imaginable good luck holding him back

diluc

immediately covers his eyes with one arm to hide his obvious blush and tries to walk away, embarrassed beyond a doubt…

…but then he couldn’t resist taking a peek and lingerie aside, he gives up when he sees your disappointed face

“im sorry, you do look breathtaking, i-i was just surprised…”

you tease him by saying that he can stare all he wants that’s why you’re wearing it in the first place and he grows redder, though his eyes never left you

he doesn’t know where you got it but all his questions on the tip of his tongue die - he’s got no time to ask questions, he wants to savor this moment as much as he can

…he just stares at you, the blush never leaving his face. but you don’t mind! you take the chance to strike some poses like some kind of supermodel. you’re lucky it works - his gaze grows ever more enchanted by the second

you can tell he wants to see you in lingerie again so of course you ask him to buy more; and he’s more than happy to oblige.

itto

this guy doesn’t even try to hide it - he’s staring intensely at you, all bug-eyed and his jaw dropped. you can’t help it; you laugh

it does make you feel very loved and much more confident in your skin though. itto’s always been an expert at that

he’d bug some people so he could borrow a kamera and take pics of you being absolutely attractive and you’d have to stop him from causing more trouble for the gang

“i need you framed on every wall in the house, (y/n). you look too good-looking for me to not do anything about it!”

you wanted him to be the embarrassed one but of course, things don’t usually go as planned with him and here you are, the embarrassed one

after convincing him to not take pictures of you in the piece of lingerie, you joke that he’d look good in one himself…and of course he takes that as a challenge

let’s just say you better be ready for tomorrow because he’s gonna blow your brains out.

kaeya

“oh my.”

that’s all he says upon first look. with a surprised expression and all, he takes you in as he looks you up and down

you begin to have second thought about this - surely you can never compete with kaeya’s beauty right? but then he sighs dreamily, interrupting your train of thought

he tucks a strand of hair behind his ear bashfully, which you admit is a bit uncharacteristic but to be fair, you wearing lingerie is pretty rare too

he asks you if he can touch you; if you let him, he’ll simply hold your hands in his and cherish the moment, cherish you

you feel like a piece of art in a museum - with the way he’s admiring you so intently and silently, you feel a blush growing on your cheeks instead

once he’s done staring, he goes back to teasing you, which obviously doesn’t help the blush on your cheeks. even then, you can see the slight pink under his eyes - his laugh couldn’t mask that much.

thoma

oh boy, i think you broke him.

he is as red as a tomato and his gaze is already averted, both out of embarrassment and politeness

you assure him it’s okay to look and that you two are partners after all. but don’t blame him - he’s just respecting your boundaries as always

once he’s finished being embarrassed ready, he’ll look at you in such awe you can see the stars in his eyes

“w-wow…you look amazing (y/n)…”

granted he’s still a bit shy seeing you wear such revealing clothing swimsuits aside but he can’t deny how charming you look

definitely wants to see you wear it again but he’s too shy too admit that

zhongli

if he’s holding anything, do not be surprised if he drops them - not when you look drop dead gorgeous

he coughs and clears his throat, clearly struggling to form a coherent sentence. you can’t help but giggle a bit at his reaction

“you…you look very handsome, (y/n).”

now it’s your turn to stammer. so there you two are, stumbling over basic vocabulary and faces painted light red

he fiddles with his fingers, as if trying to hold back from hugging or spooning you; if you let him touch you, his hands are ever-so-gentle; you can tell he doesn’t want to accidentally touch any inappropriate spots

you two end up spending a nice time cuddling as he drops a compliment or an “i love you” every few minutes

if he wasn’t broke before, he definitely is now because he’s buying you more lingerie and you can’t stop him

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witch-sweets · 3 months

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here's a small crack fic about Hat Kid Bow Kid Mu and Snatcher playing DND together based on the Song Perception Check because I thought this was funny

(DISCLAIMER! I have never actually played a game of DND BUT I really want to and I've been doing research on it (and yes before anyone ask Snatcher is playing a homebrew race that's a playable version of the hostile Shadows because he can)

Perception Check

Bow held the "designated book of lore and important stuff" in her hand as Hattie and Mu prepared for their turns. "on the horizon of the woods you see a group of mysterious cloaked figures making their way towards you" Mu springs up in excitement "my Half Orc Barbarian prepares her battle axe-" Hat Kid interrupts her enthusiasm pointing to the dice. "I rolled a one" Bow sorted through a stack of papers"critical failure... Your turn Hattie!" Hat kid rolled the dice "well my Human Rouge darts behind a tree!" Only for her to realize what number the dice landed on. Bow looked over at the dice in slight disappointment. "Another critical fail... Snatcher what does your Shadow bard do?" The groups attention was turned to the ghost in "Prince Mode" (as Hattie called it) sitting at the very end of the table with his clawed hands placed behind his head and his legs propped up on the table "act of perception check!" He said with a smug smile pulling out a violin for dramitic effect. Bow looked through the pile of random papers. "You percive that the hooded figures are looking for a fight!" Snatcher played a note on his violin. "WELL KIDDO'S LETS MESS THEM UP!" Hat Kid and mu rolled together as Snatcher prepared to play another note. "I rolled a 1..." "I rolled a 1!" "PECK!" The note was played slightly off tune. Bow read from the "designated book of lore" "so you notice that one of the hodded figures is a little shorter-" "I CAST VICIOUS MOCKERY!" Snatcher shouted rolling the dice. Hat Kid and Mu watched the dice land and they both shouted "NAT 20!" as Bow stared in pure shock Snatcher stood up on the table "LETS GO!" he then proceeded to play his violin and musically rant about how nobody loved the hooded figure because of how short they were and that everybody thought they were just a head when they were born. Bow Kid gazed upon the scene in pure horror as Hattie and Mu cheered him on. She looked back at the book scanning the page "Your attack absolutely shatters the mind of the cloaked individual roll..." the spirit grinned holding his violin "perception check!" The smug ghoul declared. Bow shouted in distress "you percive that the figure was so short because it was a CHILD!" The spirits grin did not falter "specifically the child that we've been trying to return to their mother for 15 days in-game and 5 days of our actual lives..." Hattie and Mu looked less enthusiastic now as the whole party proceeded to stare at the anxiously grinning ghost "well... the body is just laying there right?" Bow knew exactly where this was going "RIGHT?" "please dont-" Snatcher got back up on top of the table played his violin and shouted "LOOT THAT BODY!!!" causing Mu to slam her fist down, Hat Kid to go into a laughing fit, and Bow to put her head into her hands and start sobbing as Snatcher continued to play his violin "that's enough for today im done..." Bow was defeated. Hopefully the campaign would be more manageable the next day.

#a hat in time #ahit #ahit snatcher #ahit hat kid #ahit bow kid #ahit mustache girl #Fic #fic stuff #crack fic #dnd #I wanted to write something silly #Snatcher is a menace #Bow Kid is the dungeon master #She isn't doing the best but she's trying #Hat Kid and Mu are also menaces #But they're less of a menace compared to Snatcher #Snatcher is absolutely the type of smug troll to ruin the DND game with pure chaos

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tratserenoyreve · 2 years

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genshin devs saw all the leaks and decided to officially release the characters themselves i guess even tho they won't be out for like six months + dropped the entire fatui harbinger crew

(teaser discussion and messy stuff under the cut)

but, at the same time they've been acknowledging people's concerns with sumeru characters being too disconnected from the real world cultures they're referencing and saying that they hope people wait to see the rest of the roster, they publicly release two of the most Hotly Contested designs: tighnari and dori.

tighnari's design is just kind of everywhere, clashing colors and he's extremely pale, while dori's is a cartoon stereotype with a genie. while im not expecting genshin to go for full accuracy with any clothing, they at least have a record for referencing real traditional attire in their designs. the way ayato dresses for example, venti's layered bard attire with tights, chongyun's clothes are old-school blended with a modern hoodie.

so for them to make dori -like that- is really disappointing! and for all the playables shown so far that are meant to be from a region based on india, egypt, and more to be so pale is... not great.

also, on the fatui harbinger side, why does rooster look like mosquito from soul eater

like, i know why he looks like this but im still surprised he looks like this. his design is meant to reflect the classic theater character of pulcinella, "gangly legs, a potbelly, a large crooked nose meant to resemble a bird's beak, a big mouth". going by leaked dialogue that's supposedly from childe, he seems to be a decent guy in terms of looking after childe's family while he's away and happily spoiling them. still a villain who wants only to save his own skin but multi-faceted at least.

the fatui in genshin all reference the comedia del arte, so this makes sense. but, it's also a really unfortunate look for a game already under fire for potentially rac!st/antisem!tic designs. and it's not like the in-game writing hasn't acknowledged those issues either, xinyan's character story is literally about her experiencing racial prejudice and being othered by the people of liyue, the word prejudice is used specifically!

just gonna be a waiting game i guess to see what they're even doing with the story. a lot of people are rightly nervous about how natlan, a region based off of south america, will be handled if this is how sumeru is going.

#tratser talks about stuff #genshin impact spoilers #genshin impact leak discussion

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catcze · 2 years

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istg if cyno is whitewashed i’ll fucking sue because i wanna pull for him 💀💀💀 (there have been leaks that said he hasn’t undergone any changes but ngl i don’t want to get my hopes up).

nah, there’s been a lot of people using the rainforests to justify that they’re pale for the characters that were leaked so far? no variety in the npcs either but that’s expected from who we met so far. AND WHY IS KUSANALI GLOWING FOR NO REASON?

on the bright side… the rainforest region (really pretty!) and the soundtrack look promising (piano archon yu-peng chen doesn’t disappoint). tbh i’m excited to explore it.

gdi new male dendro bow interest me but ngl the only character i’m really excited to see is collei. i really miss her from the webtoon 😭😭😭.

please i saw your posts about the new dendro daddy holy shit he’s kinda fine???

anyways I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL DURING YOUR HIATUS MWAH

Genshin Leaks !! (And mentions of racism)

HELLO LOVELY 💞💞 AND SAME 😭 I hope Cyno isn’t whitewashed either??? Like, he’s been one of the main Sumeru hypes since the beginning, and it would be so dirty if he ends up light skinned 💀 praying for you and all the Cyno wanters that he meets the expectations of the masses (against all the current odds 😭)

NO BUT BROOOO I saw people saying that shit too?? And that’s so????? fucking stupid???? 😭💀💀 like MF RAINFORESTS???? Bitch no fucking rainforest can explain the absolute lack of poc npcs and playable characters we’ve seen so far 💀 those ppl should just say they’re racist n go goddamn

But yeah! The rainforest does look beautiful, at least, and I hope that the full soundtrack that accompanies it does the region some justice!! I’m glad that we’re seeing Collei too, since for the longest time I’ve been hoping she’s been doing okay 😭 I’m praying that she has a voice line abt amber and Mondstadt too, yk???

BUT ANYWAY ILY VERA IM DOING SUPERR GOOD ON MY HIATUS— GOOD LUCK ON UR FUTURE CYNO PULLS MY LOVE MWAH MWAH 💞💞

#Cw Genshin leaks #Cw Racism #🐮 !! Vera #kisses from catte 🦩#ALSO!!!! Congrats on opening ur requests again my love !!!! I hope all goes well for u ILYYYY

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noctilucous-sunni · 2 years

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You think Scara can throw his hat like a frisbee? Like there's this critical edge attack in Soul Calibur where Cassandra throws her shield at the enemy like a frisbee. The shield hits the enemy and bounces off the enemy back towards her. And then she hits it with her sword like she's hitting a baseball with a bat and the shield flies back at the enemy once more and bounces off him, realigning its trajectory towards her and she kicks it back towards the enemy.

For reference here's the clip and the attack happens at 0:12 (https://youtu.be/439BN0ae-d0)

Even though I love Scaramouche's kit, playstyle, design and everything I'm low-key disappointing his normal attack animations isn't like this lol

plsss anon yes

imagine if he could— im not gonna lie when it was announced that he was gonna be playable i thought that it was be hilarious and awesome if they made his hat like part of his weapon hahaha — his hat, like a mix of a catalyst and a melee throwing star lmao which obvi doesn’t exist but it would be funny if it did.

i do like his current playstyle but i am kinda sad that his hat doesn’t really do anything— like i would have liked to see at least an idle of where he takes off his hat and observes it or brushes dirt off it or something (maybe?? but i don’t think so)

after watching the video i think that would be the coolest normal attack ever and its such a fun one too omg—missed opportunity right there 😔

still, im going to imagine that he’d be really good at frisbee haha (or another throwing sport, like javelin maybe— but idk) this is making me think abt writing an modern au now hehe

this was such a fun lil idea to think about anon, i hope you have a good day! :))

#sunni’s mail ; 📬 !#yay asks!#honestly it would have been so funny if the main way scara dealt damage was through his frisbee hat (with secret blades in it)#imagine creating a whole new catagory of weapon ‘bladed/spiked hat’#letters from anon #anon asks make me <333 ☺️☺️#me gonna write a cracky modern au after this?? mmmm intriguing #i need softness and comedy rn to deal with life haha

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deathandthemaiden23 · 3 months

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Bro idk who's around me rn idk who's really still here in this fandom idk who will even see this or read it and i dont wanna get into it (proceeds to get into it) but ive been on a grand fucking expedition to confront past trauma and shit lately which whoopeee what else is new for what basically amounts to a dreamworks adult obsessed with the grim reaper from shrek specifically i think there's probably an actual good reason this is my biggest blorbo yet (which by the way, my good bitches, is truly saying something) beyond "big scary wolf sexy" but like anyways its been a hot fuckin second of me just sort of existing in purgatory with basically only this character to keep me real company the whole time chipping away at fanfic and makin doodles here and there while trying to solve the great big fuckin mystery of hey pal is there any particular reason you spend most of your free time fantasizing at length about being loved and cared for by literal fuckin death but um i kinda sorta had been making peace lately with the very real possibility that probably the only reappearances from Death we'd see going forward in this franchise would kinda just be relegated to stuff like being a playable character in that dumbass mario kart game they made recently that they had the audacity to charge $50 for the version with him in it and I was immediately prepared to shell out the fuckin money regardless anyways tldr this is my longwinded way of saying bless harvey fuckin guillen for supposedly saying he wants to reprise his role as perrito in shrek 5 and specifically mentioning he wanted to know more about his backstory including the near death experience he had in the sock that he still wears like ok let me be clear im not getting my hopes up for shit im super excited about the idea of harvey and everybody reprising their roles for future shrek installments but i know shit be disappointing sometimes and it just be like that sometimes blablabla alright nothing is set in stone in this cursed ass timeline we're in bbbbbbut

✨️H O W E V E R✨️

I cannot help but think in some kind of weirdly jaded optimism that surely dreamworks would not fucking let the absolute furry cashcow that Death is go to fucking waste if they're bringing shrek back to the big screen it just seems incredibly fuckin stupid this big fuckin bastard gave everyone a boner when last wish dropped to the extent that i actually didnt know anything about last wish going in to see it in theaters the first time knew nothing of the plot who was in it whatever right THE ONLY FUCKIN KNOWLEDGE I HAD OF LAST WISH PRIOR TO SITTING DOWN AND WATCHING IT WAS "OH I GUESS THERE'S A WOLF CHARACTER AND EVERYONE WANTS TO FUCK HIM" LMFAO UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE FUCKIN YEAR RIGHT LOL anyways if dreamworks doesnt seize the opportunity to give him at least one more like visible cameo appearance anywhere in whatever they can squeeze out of the shrek franchise after it was dead (lmfao) for like years (the puss in boots show is little known to anyone sadly and also it seems vaguely noncanonical if that makes sense stuff gets said on the regular in that show that just seems too batshit even for shrek standards) I'll genuinely like die of shock the entertainment industry is chock full of companies just like dreamworks always achin to get their hands on another iconic character they can squeeze money out of ad infinitum and like i dont want that to happen with Death I dont but also... please just let him show up at least one more time dreamworks throw this bitch a bone im begging you you will make so much money i promise u the thirsty tumblr fans are no joke we'll bankroll your ass to the moon and back

I feel it would be remiss of me not to offer some form of content after all this impassioned war and peace length solilioquy about the scu (shrek cinematic universe) so here's an old WIP from forever ago im like 90% i havent posted here (if i have oh fuckin well tbh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) its a lil scene from chapter 2 of my death fic where he gets caught redhanded picking flowers for his crush because he's a dork ass loser and wants to impress her without coming on too strong lmao like bro she's so into you just go for it

#puss in boots the last wish #puss in boots death #lobo #muerte #puss in boots wolf #shrek #ramble time i guess #i pity you if you make it through this whole post #idk what this is to be totally honest with you #i dont expect many will read it but #idk ive been gone for a second and i just read a screenrant article that gave me the happies #i wanted to release the happies here on the tungle #where surely civility reigns #sentences i will not regret later #tw mentions of death #i mean like #obviously lmfao #its shrek news idk if anyone still talks about shrek news on here #i guess im just excited to see what they come up with

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silver-wield · 4 years

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CA on twitter are wild, they attack new fans because according to them, they don’t get the game… they have to start accepting that FFVIIR is not a Bioware game and you can’t choose a love interest, the game is linear and there’s no choice the player make that affects the plot, of course you can ignore Tifa all you want but Cloud still gifts her the flower, calls her beautiful, cares about her and they can't skip that... [1]

I don't get the obsession they have with being canon, its fine shipping CA *i ship a lot of thing that aren’t canon*, what i dont like is how they lie to new fans about it and make fun of them when they don’t see the ‘love at first sight’ on chapter 8, they create this fantasy and get mad when others don’t see it. [2]

My roommate started the game after some crazy CA friend of hers told her the story *their version*, so she was playing with the idea that Aerith was the LI and was really excited about the dynamic between them *it was a lieeee*, and got confused when Tifa was introduced, she didn’t know Tifa existed… oh but she wasn’t disappointed, she fell in love with her at first sight *oh the irony* [3]

Her best comments while playing were ‘yes Cloud Tifa is beautiful’ ‘Tifa talk to me FOREVER please’ ‘why are dementors here?’ ‘he doesn’t care about Aerith!’ ‘Oh no… Aerith is a little annoying’ ‘Aerith im not ditching you please walk faster!’ ‘she’s in love with someone else?!’ ‘Cloud mind is TIFATIFATIFA’ ‘Cloud wants to f*ck Tifa’ ‘omg Tifa just kiss him please!’ ‘HE IS SO THIRSTY’ ‘Barret is the best third wheel!’ ‘YES HUG, NOW KISS’ ‘Why nobody told me about Zack?’ it was amusing af [4]

Now she’s a Cloti fan, lost a friend *they stopped talking to her* and got on a fight with some crazy CA on twitter her exfriend wanted to use so my roommate could get ‘the real plot’… her response was to share some cloti smut fic and art, they didn’t find it funny, her exfriend was like ‘you are a lost cause’ and blocked her. now we share headcanons and theories and we are going to play the next game together (so i guess i have a new friend yay me lol). [5]

That's one way to describe them, and that’s a whole lotta irony them accusing people of not understanding the game when they literally misunderstand or deliberately misinterpret all of the themes and plot points because the only thing they care about is shipping.

I think they just wanna be right. I mean, they don't seem to care about what the characters want unless it aligns with their own beliefs, so being right seems to be the whole basis of all their arguments. Which just proves how arrogant they are.

Love at first sight? In chapter 8 when they go on about it them being reunited after chapter 2? Well, then, this is actually the first moment Cloud saw her

Flailing around with people staring at her. His reaction is this

Wow, check that lightning bolt of love 🤣

And then in chapter 8 he looks at her like this

Kinda disgusted if I'm being blunt about it. Cloud doesn't like people in his personal space and Aerith does that all the time, which is pretty rude tbf.

Not one bit surprised to hear your friend didn't know Tifa existed since to them she's just an npc....that's playable for 15 chapters 🤣

It's always interesting getting new player povs, especially for the older set to see it's not just them having got used to defending canon. New players are seeing through the bullshit and lies those dumdums spew and it's making the fandom a lot more positive. It's really just those toxic dumdums still being really loud and obnoxious, but I'm betting the devs have more shade prepared for part 2 and beyond until they learn to stfu and accept canon or just stfu and go fanon in a corner where we don't have to listen to them anymore lol

#Ship war #For the ship #For the plot

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freckledbastard · 5 years

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the gameplay demo for pirate warriors 4 has come out and i could not be more excited!!!!

youtube

watch the video immediately, because i’m going to be talking about some things from it

first of all, looks like you’ve now got at least 4 special attacks, as opposed to the 2 available for both pw2 and pw3. i’m feeling they’ll probably have more you can pick and choose from, but they’ll show us that at a later date. im very excited about this because finally... FINALLY.... robin will have more attacks apart from one crowd attack and one officer attack, GOOD FOR YOU ROBIN YOU DESERVE THIS. not only that, but it appears you have the option to level the attacks up as well! hell yeah im excited for this

secondly, aerial attacks! finally!!! it’s been so weird going from orochi warriors to pirate warriors and trying to do aerial attacks in the latter only for it to, y’know... not work lol.

thirdly, i noticed there was no option to switch out to another character, which im really curious about. i thought it might have been the yellow bar at the bottom left, but it changed colour when luffy goes into gear fourth mode (also i see this game continues the legacy of not knowing how to animate gear 4 lol), i wonder if they’ve gotten rid of it entirely? i hope not. that’s one of my favourite things about the warrior games. hopefully it’s just something they haven’t implemented yet.

and im thinking it’s that because of the dialogue where luffy keeps speaking as though he’s with people, but there very clearly is no one but him. they probably haven’t implemented them into the game yet, or have kept them from the demo. because there is almost always someone with you in the game, but these demo versions barely ever have them.

fifth, big mom is definitely a giant enemy lol. i hope her and kaidou will actually be available for us to play as though, i’ll be very disappointed if not.

sixth, not a lot of environment destroying, which is one of the things the marketing is constantly pushing at us, lol. they probably just haven’t properly implemented it yet. there’s definitely things in the environment that look like they’re meant to be destroyed though, like even just the thumbnail for this video gives off the idea it’s meant to be destroyed. don’t let us down my dudes!

seventh, this isn’t related to the gameplay we’ve seen, just thoughts. show us carrot katakuri and reiju’s gameplay cowards. also the closer to the release date we get, we better get info about wano arc even if it’s just filler kthnx. a little more worried now that ive realised the game is following the anime not the manga, and the anime has only just landed in wano. but if kaidou’s club is in the title they’re probably going to do at least SOMETHING with him, which is good. even better if kiku becomes a playable character lol

OKAY THAT’S IT FOR NOW IF ANYTHING ELSE COMES TO MIND I’LL LET YOU GUYS KNOW

#pw4 #pirate warriors 4 #one piece #monkey d. luffy #charlotte linlin #big mom #opspoilers

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akimojo · 5 years

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i said i wasnt gonna post any spoilers until like a month after kh3 released but ive seen a lot of posts complaining about one thing and i wanna get out my opinion on it

dont read if you dont want to be spoiled

while i agree that kairi couldve been treated waaayyy better in kh3, we cant deny this is the most attention shes gotten so far in this series and honestly?? that alone makes me happy even tho im also bitter cuz i wanted her to kick ass

but tbh i also see how kh3 probably wasnt the best time to suddenly make kairi playable. the characters we got to play as were sora, riku and aqua, while the characters we didnt get to play as were kairi, lea and ventus (and ofc terra but since he wasnt one of the 7 im just not gonna dive into that fdshjfd) and honestly i can see why we didnt get to play as any of them. kairi and lea are practically beginners with keyblades and ventus hasnt been in combat for 10+ years. sora, riku and aqua were all really strong while kairi, lea and ventus mustve been extremely weak in comparison. i just think suddenly going from playing as op sora to beginner kairi wouldve been really frustrating

and if kairi would suddenly be as strong as sora that would just be unfair to him since it took him several games to get so powerful, whereas all it would take for kairi would be to just practice for a short while

ngl tho as much as kh3 did our girl dirty i also think it opens up a lot of opportunities for kairi to evolve as a character in future games. they mention a girl from radiant garden who suddenly disappeared and, although it was never confirmed, its very safe to assume that girl was kairi. they never solved the mystery of what happened to her or how she ended up on destiny islands. with the ending showing that sora probably didnt make it back home after saving kairi (still bawling my eyes out over that btw), theres a chance only kairi knows what exactly happened to sora, which means she could be the one who has to save him

just like most fans i was of course disappointed with how kairi got treated in kh3, but remember this isnt the end of the franchise and the game’s main purpose was to put an end to the xehanort saga and initiate the next one, which it did, and imo they did it really well, despite some obvious flaws

#kh3 spoilers

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annerly-san · 5 years

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31 Days of Food Fantasy | Day 29

Day 29: Crossover! FF is now in the style of the last non FF game you played! – Super Smash Bros Ultimate

“How can this be…?”

“No, no, no, NO! TEMPURA!!!!” The little Tempura avatar fell off the map and was consumed by a flash of yellow light.

“WHERE ARE YOU GOING? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!?!” The ending cut screen popped up on the monitor and displayed a Brownie that spun his gun around and took a bow. Tempura was on the side, clapping his hands with a sad smile on his face. “Tempura, did you fall of again?!”

“Ahaha! I’m sorry, Attendant!”

They hung their head in defeat. “No, that was my fault. I flung you off the platform. Are you ok?”

“Of course! I’m the best! We’ll do better next round!”

Ever since Elex signed off the rights to “Food Fantasy” to Nintendo, they had logged back in to find that their once bustling household was vacant and empty aside from a few food souls. Much to their dismay, they had found out that most of their food souls had been ‘abducted’ and had to be ‘won back’ by challenging them in a match as they popped up. While their wallet was saved and they no longer had trauma from whaling on crystals for ridiculously expensive skins and summons, they actually had to engage in actual gameplay to get the characters that they wanted.

Tempura had little bands on his wrists and ankles which connected to a wireless controller that his attendant held. It was a new type of gameplay that they were participating in which allowed for his attendant to control his body to fight other food souls in a somewhat friendly match.

His attendant was having an extremely difficult time getting into the hang of the controls, often flinging Tempura off the map, making him punch the air or making him grab random objects without intending to.

They let out a sigh as they buried themselves into his long, fluffy hair. Okkk~. We’ll do better next round…”

“Let’s go all out!”

Somehow once they registered for this game, they had found themselves with only Tempura, Black Tea, Tom Yum and Milk as playable characters. The rest of their team apparently had to be “unlocked” by playing rounds and defeating the food soul when they appeared to challenge them. Peking alongside a few others had joined them in this manner.

Though they didn’t really use Tempura much in showdowns or battle and left him off to his own accord most of the time, they chose him for their preference of close combat souls.

The two of them turned around and entered the arena once more when the blaring of horns alerted them to a screen which flashed red letters announcing, ‘A new foe has appeared!”

“A new challenger has appeared?!” A silhouette of a horned male appeared which caused them both to exclaim in awe. “STEAK?!”

“Let’s go!” Steak brandished his dual swords and swung in a huge slash that sent a wave of air gushing towards the both of them. “Watch me put an end to this match!”

“TEMPURA, LET’S BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM!”

“You have me here! I won’t let you lose this match!” Tempura jumped into the arena to face off with Steak, an eager look shone in his eyes.

“DAMN RIGHT, TEMPURA. WE’RE BRINGING STEAK HOME NOW, OR I’LL DIE!”

“Jumpu!” Tempura leapt into the air above Steak. “And down!” Tempura spun downwards sending a roundabout kick which sent Steak fumbling.

Steak quickly recovered and swung a blade at Tempura which managed to hit him.

“A-attendant, you can command me to block you know!”

“WHAT BUTTON IS THAT? WHAT’S BLOCKING!?” His attendant fumbled with the buttons causing Tempura to hit at the air, and then miraculously punch Steak in the face. The hit was not a wasted opportunity. “GOT ‘IM! GO GET ‘IM TEMPURAAAA!”

“HA! No sweat!” Tempura launched an onslaught of continuous punches at Steak, the very last which launched Steak off of the map resulting in a KO.

“Huh… such a pity!”

Steak made his way over to the both of them and got down on one knee with an arm across his chest.

“This body, this heart, and this sword in my hands, shall be forever loyal to you!”

“Awww! Steaky, you’re back!” They tenderly hugged the horned food soul as he offered his apologies for engaging in combat with them. They handed the control bands over to him with a determined smile. “Let’s get the others back too, eh?”

“We can leave Red Wine.”

“But that’d mean you’d have to lose in battle to him.”

“Ah-“

“Let’s go! Watch me put an end to these traitors!” Steak, now equipped with the control bands, entered the arena to square off with the next opponent. “Attendant, leave this battle to me!”

“Yea~! Steaky!” Steak dashed forward at his attendant’s command as he slashed at the Spaghetti before him. He managed to get a series of flaming slashes in before the Spaghetti swung his fork splattering noodles and sauce everywhere—causing him to fall backwards,

“Get up, Steaky!” Steak leapt up and charged at the Spaghetti again, only to be grabbed and thrown off the platform.

“Steaky jump-“ Steak leapt up but missed the ledge. “Again-!” He did a mid-air jump, but it was drastically shorter than his previous one and he missed the ledge completely before spiraling down into oblivion with a triumphant whoosh and flash of light. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

Steak had a sour look on his face whilst the Spaghetti laughed on proudly at his victory.

“Such a pity…”

“Darn!” His attendant pouted as the two of them walked away from the stage. “I suck at this game. If this goes on, nobody’s coming home. Pekky, your turn!”

“I’m very honored to help.” He took the control bands from Steak’s hands.

Peking took a shot at Brownie who also gunned at him. The recoil of Peking’s special move sent him flying backwards a little, but it managed to hit Brownie with a lot of damage.

“Alright! Time to yeet him off this platform so he wakes up and comes back home!” Peking charged at Brownie, leaping up and shooting at him from behind. The dark-haired food soul was flung from the platform and was announced defeated.

“YES! ONLY A LOT MORE TO GO! NICE ONE, PEKKY!”

“I am very honored to be able to help you.” He brandished his gun on his shoulder as he walked out from the arena back towards the waiting area. Brownie showed up a little while later and took a seat with the rest of the food souls to watch the next round of battles.

“Pekky, what do you say for another round?”

“Of course. I hope that I will not disappoint you.”

“Master Attendant, the edge is awfully close-“

Peking was close to the ledge of the platform when his attendant accidently hit the dash button on his controller.

“Master Attendant-!”

“AHHHH! NOOO!! PEKKY! JUMP, JUMP, JUUUUUUUUUMP!!!” But alas, they had flung Peking off of the platform somehow. A whooshing sound was heard and a flash of light consumed him. “NOOOOOOOOOO!”

After having flung their food souls off of the platform for countless of times, they had officially given up for the day.

They resigned from the battle and begrudgingly trudged home with only twelve of their food souls trailing behind them. An aggravated sigh was heard leaving their lips as they glared hatefully at the arena behind them.

“We’re trying again tomorrow!”

Musings:

At first I thought that I was going to do a crossover with Ikemen Sengoku (an otome game) since I typically play otome games the most. However, I just got a switch and am suffering at the wrath of Smash Ultimate.

#31 Days of Food Fantasy

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liketolaugh-writes · 6 years

Text

[Context: Sebastian is a LetsPlayer in modern times. He is still a demon and the events of Kuroshitsuji happened over a hundred years ago as appropriate. He does not currently have a master, having finished with his last some five to ten years ago. Because he enjoys human pastimes on occasion, he decided to amuse himself with this for a while. It’s set in the Marvel universe, insofar as metas are known to exist and he is known as a lightly closeted one. He is currently playing Undertale, and because of who he is as a person, has accidentally stumbled onto the Genocide route on his first playthrough.]

The character avatar walks down the purple hallway. In the top-left corner, Sebastian’s brows are furrowed. He looks unsettled, but is attempting to appear merely bored.

Sebastian: This is quite an unusual take on an RPG game, I’ll admit. I’ve never encountered one that attempted to make me feel guilty for progressing before. Toriel’s last words in particular were… well. I expect this is going to be quite an interesting letsplay.

The avatar reaches the hallway exit and goes through. On the other side, Flowey is sitting in a spotlight.

Sebastian: Oh, it’s you again. Now, you, I would not feel bad for killing at all.

Flowey: Hahaha… You’re not really human, are you?

Sebastian’s eyebrows lift as he reads the dialogue. For a moment, he looks amused.

Flowey: No. You’re empty inside. Just like me. In fact… You’re Ciel, right? We’re still inseparable, after all these years…

Sebastian’s brows furrow, and he pauses in reading the dialogue.

Sebastian: That’s an interesting plot twist, this early in the game. I thought I’d just fallen down. Perhaps I have escaped the Underground before? But then, why is it that I fell in again? To take revenge?

Flowey: Listen. I have a plan to become all powerful. Even more powerful than you and your stolen soul.

Sebastian scowls, but does not remark on the dialogue.

Flowey: Let’s destroy everything in this wretched world. Everyone, everything in these worthless memories. Let’s turn ‘em all to dust.

Flowey [computer-generated voice]: That’s a wonderful idea!

Flowey disappears into the ground, and Sebastian continues to frown at the screen. His scowl has eased.

Sebastian: That was… odd. This game is obviously not what it first appears. Is that my goal, then? To conquer the Underground? It seems frivolous and unnecessary, but it’s quite the take on the traditional RPG mechanic of slaughtering everything you come across.

The avatar begins to move forward again and soon encounters the door out.

The screen fades to black and then displays the title screen, UNDERTALE. It then switches to By Toby Fox, and then to black. Sebastian smiles.

Sebastian: As I said, quite an interesting game. I’m looking forward to continuing it. I expect it has some interesting lessons to teach, and perhaps some remarks on human nature as well. It’s a surprising contrast with the rather cute aesthetic.

Sebastian chuckles, and as the screen reforms on a snowy forest, the avatar begins walking right, and then pauses and interacts with the bush nearby.

[…!? There’s a camera hidden in the bushes.]

Sebastian: …Interesting.

The avatar continues right. The avatar passes a branch, and a handful of steps after the avatar passes, it breaks unexpectedly. Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: The music is appropriately ominous for such a setting. I do hope I have an encounter worthy of it soon.

The avatar starts to cross a bridge, and then stops on the left edge. A shadow begins to approach from where the avatar came from.

Sebastian: Speak of the devil.

Sebastian chooses a creaky, deep voice for the new character.

?: H u m a n.

The avatar turns around. The shadow sticks out its hand, and the avatar takes it. The shadow is suddenly lit, revealing itself to be a grinning skeleton in a blue hoodie, and a fart sound plays. Sebastian snorts, visibly surprised.

Sebastian: Well, that was rather anticlimactic.

?: heheh… the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. it’s ALWAYS funny.

Despite the change of font, Sebastian sticks with the original voice, raising one eyebrow and smiling in obvious amusement.

?: …that’s, uh. your cue to laugh. or, uh, to emote at all…?

Sebastian chuckles again.

Sebastian: They really are pushing the inhumanity of this character, aren’t they? They ought to be careful not to go heavy-handed, but it’s amusing as it is, and somewhat unsettling as intended.

?: …(gee, lady, you really know how to pick ‘em, huh…?) OK, that’s fine. everyone’s got their own sense of humor. i’m sans. sans the skeleton. im actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now. but… you know… i dont really care about capturing anybody.

Sebastian grins.

Sebastian: Perhaps you should, Mr. Skeleton. It looks like letting this one go will be bad for your health.

Sans: now my brother, papyrus… he’s a human-hunting FANATIC.

Sebastian: Ah, so is that the interesting battle I’m promised? Or- no. No, given the nature of the last boss, I don’t suppose any of these bosses are going to be truly terrible people. Hm. Does that mean I won’t be able to dispose of Flowey?

Sans: hey, actually, I think that’s him over there.

Sebastian: Another boss battle already? That seems unlikely, so I suppose this Sans character is going to help me as well.

Sans: i have an idea. go through this gate thingy. yeah, go right through. my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone.

Sebastian chuckles, head dipping as he smirks. The avatar and Sans rush right, quickly arriving at a small area containing a lamp shaped precisely like the profile view of the avatar, two rocks, and a shop stand.

Sans: quick, behind that conveniently-shaped lamp.

The avatar does not move. Sebastian raises his eyebrows.

Sans: …uh, okay, i guess you don’t have to.

Sebastian [softly]: …Strange.

From the right, a tall skeleton in red zooms in, stopping in front of Sans and the avatar. Sebastian chooses a high, crackly voice for this character.

Papyrus: SANS!!! HAVE YOU FOUND A HUMAN YET!??!

Sans: yeah

Sebastian: From any other game I would expect betrayal, but…

Papyrus: REALLY!?!? WOWIE!!!

Sebastian: Goodness, two lines and I already cannot wait for this character to be gone.

Papyrus: GUESS THAT’S SETTLED!!

The skeleton leaves out the right side. Sebastian snorts.

Sebastian: My wish has been granted.

Sans: that worked out, huh?

The avatar wanders around the screen and interacts with the lamp.

[Just a conveniently-shaped lamp.]

Sebastian chuckles.

Sebastian: I’ll admit, this game is quite funny when it isn’t resorting to bodily humor.

The avatar moves to the stand and interacts.

[It’s some sort of checkpoint or sentry-station. But there are bottles of ketchup, mustard, and relish sitting inside…]

Sebastian: I hope they don’t belong to the skeletons. I imagine that would be quite messy, and what a waste.

The avatar begins to move right but is stopped at the exit.

Sans: well, i’ll be straight-forward with you. my brother’d really like to see a human… so, y’know, it’d really help me out… if you kept pretending to be one.

Sebastian pauses, staring at the screen with an unreadable expression as Sans exits left.

Sebastian: Again with this, hm…? If not a human, then I wonder what I’m meant to be.

Sebastian smiles.

Sebastian: Perhaps a demon? Well, I suppose I’ll find out in time. …If I find out that the playable character is a metahuman, however, I’m going to be deeply disappointed in not only the game’s creator, but also every person who recommended this game to me. That would be an utterly pathetic plot twist.

The avatar exits right, and the approaches the nearby sparkling save point.

[16 Left]

Sebastian: Quite handy. But why is the text red…?

The avatar explores the area for a while, and then encounters a monster. The monster is identified as Snowdrake.

[Snowdrake flutters forth!]

Sebastian: Though I may come to regret it, given the odd ‘but nobody came’ encounters, I believe I’ll handle all of these now. I’ll clip in the images and dialogue of each new monster, however – for your amusement, yes?

The screen skips through several images without remark and resettles on the same stretch of path.

Sebastian: That didn’t take too long, did it?

Sebastian smiles.

Sebastian: Now we can progress the story without interference. I could do without the skeleton characters, myself, but they’re a necessary evil. Never mind- they’ll be gone soon enough.

Sebastian laughs, and the avatar exits right.

Sebastian: I did explore the top path, but there was nothing of interest. Ah, here we are.

Papyrus: SO SANS! WHEN’S THE HUMAN SHOWING UP???

Sebastian: Mr. Papyrus’ enthusiasm is amusing, but I’ve known enough people like him to be quite glad that his dialogue is text-only. Goodness knows how loud it would be.

Papyrus: I WANT TO LOOK MY SUNDAY BEST… OR AT LEAST MY TUESDAY PRETTY-GOOD.

Sebastian laughs again and shakes his head slightly.

Sebastian: A game with a sense of humor more sophisticated than a grade schooler, what a rarity.

Sans: don’t you only have one outfit?

Papyrus: YEAH, BUT I COULD STYLE MY HAIR!

Sebastian covers his mouth with the back of his hand. He is grinning, and his eyes glitter with amusement.

Sans: oh. right. good idea. say, why don’t you look over there?

Papyrus looks at the avatar. An exclamation mark appears briefly over his head. He turns back at Sans, who turns to the human, and then back to the human, while Sans looks back at Papyrus. This process repeats itself several times, rapidly speeding up, and Sebastian lowers his hand to smile in open amusement. Eventually, both skeletons stop, and then turn right.

Papyrus: SANS!!! OH MY GOD!!!!

Sebastian: That is entirely too many exclamation points, and I can picture the volume perfectly.

Papyrus: I’M DIZZY. WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?

Sebastian snorts, apparently caught by surprise.

Sans: behold.

Sans turns to his brother. The screen pans left to center on the avatar and reveal a rock.

Papyrus: OH MY GOD!!!

The screen shunts right again as Papyrus turns back to Sans.

Papyrus: WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME TO LOOK AT A ROCK.

Sebastian closes his eyes and covers his mouth with a gloved hand. A muffled snort escapes anyway and the corners of his eyes are crinkled. After a second, he removes his hand and shakes his head.

Sebastian: This game is entirely too much.

Sans turns back to the avatar.

Sans: hey, what’s that in front of the rock?

An exclamation mark appears above Papyrus’ head.

Papyrus: OH MY GOD!!!

Sebastian takes a deep breath.

Papyrus: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS.

Sebastian lets it out in a huff, closes his eyes, and tilts his head back briefly. After two seconds, he opens them again, and then continues without comment.

Sans: well. it’s not a rock.

Sebastian: A pair of geniuses, these two.

Papyrus: NOT A ROCK…? OH NO!!! BY PROCESS OF ELIMINATION!!! THAT MEANS IT’S A HUMAN!!!

Sebastian closes his eyes again, presses his palm to a forehead, and for a moment, laughs helplessly, quiet and breathy.

Sebastian: What an imbecile.

Sebastian opens his eyes and continues on, shaking his head.

Papyrus: AHEM!! HUMAN!! PREPARE YOURSELF!! FOR HIGH JINKS! FOR LOW JINKS! DANGERS! PUZZLES! CAPERS! JAPERS! BEING CAPTURED!! AND OTHER SORTS OF FUN ACTIVITIES.

Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: If I have any say in the matter, I will not be participating in a single one of those things, Mr. Skeleton. Particularly not with someone as obviously loud as yourself – my ears hurt and you’re not even speaking aloud.

Papyrus: REFRESHMENTS WILL BE PROVIDED… IF YOU DARE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!

Sebastian wrinkles his nose as Papyrus exits right.

Sebastian: Is that his laugh? How awful. I shall give him as little cause to do that as possible.

Sans turns to the avatar.

Sans: …and you don’t even bat an eye, huh?

Sans exits right.

Sebastian: Well, I wouldn’t want to give that moron any form of encouragement. That’s your job, is it not? Really, this Sans character is… quite suspicious, I’d say. Though not as suspicious as the playable character, naturally… Given that they seem to be on a warpath. Now, let’s see-

The avatar moves right and interacts with the stand nearby.

[There’s some narration on this cardboard box.]

[YOU OBSERVE THE WELL-CRAFTED SENTRY STATION. WHO COULD HAVE BUILT THIS, YOU PONDER… I BET IT WAS THAT VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN!]

Sebastian rolls his eyes again and sighs, muttering something inaudible before speaking.

Sebastian: Goodness, he does get into everything, doesn’t he? And self-congratulatory, too. I’d bet anything he isn’t a royal guardsman at all.

[(NOTE: NOT YET A VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN.)]

Sebastian pinches the bridge of his nose.

Sebastian: Ridding the Underground of this idiot will be a service.

The avatar moves right. An encounter appears.

[but nobody came.]

Sebastian: Ah yes, there it is. Very ominous… the first few times, at least.

The avatar continues right and crosses into the path of another station, this one sporting a bell. When the avatar reaches it, a dog emerges from behind the counter.

?: D-did something move? Was it my imagination? I can only see moving things. …hey! I can’t stop shivering all of a sudden. …Who’s there!?

An encounter overtakes the screen.

[Doggo blocks the way!]

Sebastian: Why would you announce your biggest weakness to the world immediately before initiating a fight? Really, now… I’ll take many things at face value in a PC game, but some of these habits are simply absurd.

Sebastian continues to mutter as the fight progresses, looking bored. Doggo is easily defeated, and the avatar moves on, exiting right.

Sebastian: I might have been more sympathetic if it had been a cat. Of course, a cat likely wouldn’t have announced its only weakness so easily, hm?

The avatar continues to travel.

[but nobody came.]

Sebastian: Yes, yes, I understand, everyone is dead. I am aware of that. I actually made that happen. It doesn’t appear to have decreased the amount of trouble I go to just to move, unfortunately.

The avatar reaches an intersection, pauses briefly, and exits top. A snowman appears onscreen and the avatar approaches and interacts with it.

?: Hello. I am a snowman. I cannot move. Traveller, if you could…

[(You got the Snowman Piece.)]

Sebastian: Well, that was simple foolishness.

Sebastian checks the Snowman Piece in his inventory.

[“Snowman Piece” – Heals 45 HP. Please take this to the ends of the earth.]

Sebastian smirks with too many teeth.

Sebastian: 45 HP, hm? I think I’d like more of that, if at all possible.

The avatar interacts with the Snowman again.

Snowman: Oh me, oh my. What are you doing? Soon there won’t be any of me left…

Sebastian: I’m taking your flesh for sustenance, isn’t it obvious?

[(You got the Snowman Piece.)]

The Snowman shrinks dramatically. Sebastian smirks, and the avatar interacts with the Snowman again.

Snowman: Stop… Please…

The Snowman collapses into a small puddle of snow. Sebastian chuckles, raising an eyebrow.

Sebastian: Well, what did you expect, giving pieces of yourself to a stranger? Quite foolish, as I said. You should never give of yourself, really – even those you trust can easily turn their backs on you.

The avatar interacts with the pile of snow again.

[A useless pile of snow.]

Sebastian: Only three, then. Well, that’s quite enough to be getting on with. I won’t need that many, with a small amount of luck and a fair bit of skill. And I like to think I have both in spades, don’t you?

The avatar exits bottom, and heads toward the right exit. An encounter spawns.

[but nobody came.]

Sebastian pauses, frowning.

Sebastian: …An interesting choice of mechanic.

Sebastian ends the encounter and the avatar exits right. Sans and Papyrus are waiting by a bridge on the other side.

Papyrus: YOU’RE SO LAZY!! YOU WERE NAPPING ALL NIGHT!!

Sans: i think that’s called… sleeping.

Sebastian: Regretfully, I’m actually on Mr. Papyrus’ side on this one.

Papyrus: EXCUSES, EXCUSES!

Sans and Papyrus turn to look at the avatar.

Papyrus: OH- HO! THE HUMAN ARRIVES! IN ORDER TO STOP YOU… MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES!

Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: Well, at least they bothered to come up with an in-universe reason for gratuitous puzzle-solving, I suppose. Once again, that’s better than most games do.

Papyrus: I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE… QUITE SHOCKING!!!

The avatar starts to walk across the patch of bare ground, and Sebastian blinks, and then frowns, and then laughs, the corners of his eyes crinkling in amusement.

Sebastian: I think I could get along with this character.

Papyrus: FOR YOU SEE, THIS IS… THE, INVISIBLE… UHHHHHHH…?

Sebastian: Yes, Mr. Skeleton, not everyone is willing to play along with your foolish and pointless antics. I see this character’s attitude is going to save me quite a bit of time.

Sebastian actually looks slightly put-out by the notion.

Papyrus: HMMM… YOU MUST BE HAVING CULTURE SHOCK. YOU SEE, WHERE I COME FROM, IT’S A LOVING TRADITION. TO SUFFER THROUGH HORRIBLE PUZZLES FOR NO REASON.

Sebastian sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Sebastian: This feels oddly familiar, for some reason… Though of course, as the playable character is the one visiting here, they are indeed being rather rude. It saves me time, but not that much time, I suspect.

The avatar continues to approach the skeletons.

Papyrus: SO, UH, JUST WALK BACK THERE, AND…

The avatar does not move. Both skeletons turn south.

Papyrus: SIGH… WHY COULDN’T WE GET A HUMAN THAT LIKES PUZZLES???

Papyrus exits right.

Sebastian: My amusement at the character’s attitude aside, I would have preferred to be allowed to play the puzzles as I wished. They are a fundamental part of this sort of game, after all.

The avatar moves towards Sans and interacts.

Sans: it would make my brother happy if you played along.

Sebastian: Surprisingly, that is not my primary concern.

The avatar exits right, crosses the bridge on the other side, and passes by several trees and a snowball.

Sebastian: I’ve said it a few times already, but I’m continually fascinated by many of the stylistic choices this game makes. They all seem to be geared in a certain direction, but I’m not sure I understand what they’re trying to say as yet. I assume I will later.

The avatar exits top right, walks past both doghouses, and then returns left. Sebastian grimaces.

Sebastian: Dogs.

Eventually, the avatar exits bottom-right and emerges with the two skeletons again, and a piece of paper on the ground to their left.

Papyrus: HUMAN!!! I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR… SANS!! WHERE’S THE PUZZLE!!!

Sebastian: At this stage, what on earth makes him think I would complete a puzzle?

Sans: it’s right there. on the ground.

Sebastian: Somehow, I’m not surprised in the least.

Sans: trust me. there’s no way they’ll skip this one.

The avatar walks past the piece of paper. Sebastian looks pained.

Papyrus: SANS!!! THAT DID NOTHING!!!

Sans: whoops. knew i should have put down junior jumble instead.

Sebastian: Oh yes, I certainly would have been far more interested in that, rather than- whatever it is that’s on the ground there.

Papyrus: WHAT?!? JUNIOR JUMBLE!? FINALLY, SOMETHING WE CAN BOTH AGREE ON.

Papyrus exits right. The avatar moves to interact with Sans.

Sans: guess you don’t like word searches, huh? me neither. i’m more of a funny pages kinda guy.

Sebastian: Of course you are. They share your high-brow sense of humor, Mr. Skeleton.

The avatar exits right, finding a piece of paper, a table with spaghetti on top, and a microwave. The top wall has a small mouse hole. Sebastian smirks and the avatar goes to interact with the piece of paper.

[It’s a note from Papyrus…]

[HUMAN!! PLEASE ENJOY THIS SPAGHETTI. (LITTLE DO YOU KNOW, THIS SPAGHETTI IS A TRAP… DESIGNED TO ENTICE YOU!!! YOU’LL BE SO BUSY EATING IT… THAT YOU WON’T REALIZE THAT YOU AREN’T PROGRESSING!! THOROUGHLY JAPED AGAIN BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!!! NYEH-HEH-HEH, PAPYRUS)]

Sebastian chuckles.

Sebastian: Not much of an antagonist… or a human-hunter. And that laugh is still awful.

The avatar interacts with the save point, the spaghetti, and the microwave.

[10 left.]

[(It’s a plate of frozen spaghetti. It’s so cold, it’s stuck to the table…)]

[(It’s an unplugged microwave. All of the settings say “spaghetti.”)]

Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: Idiot.

The avatar continues on until it reaches two dogs, which come up from the south exit.

?: What’s that smell? (Where’s that smell?) If you’re a smell… (…Identify yoursmellf!)

The two dogs wander the screen around the avatar for a few seconds before converging on it.

?: Hmmm… Here’s that weird smell… It makes me want to eliminate… (…Eliminate YOU!)

An encounter triggers.

Sebastian: God, when will I escape the dogs?

[Dogi assault you!]

Sebastian: The story of my life.

Sebastian swiftly kills Dogaressa, and then the depressed Dogamy.

Sebastian: When will I be free from the dogs…

The avatar continues to make progress, and passes by what appears to be a completed puzzle. Sebastian looks put-out again.

Sebastian: I actually would like to complete a puzzle at some point, please!

The avatar exits right, finding a grayscale board with Papyrus and Sans on the right side, standing by a machine.

Papyrus: HEY! IT’S THE HUMAN! YOU’RE GONNA LOVE THIS PUZZLE!

The avatar starts to cross the board, and Sebastian sighs, a look of resignation on his face as the avatar stops halfway across.

Sebastian: This is getting rather annoying.

Papyrus: IT WAS MADE BY THE GREAT… ARE YOU SERIOUS? SANS!!! HELP!!!

A flicker of a smile crosses Sebastian’s face. He does not explain this.

Papyrus: THEY KEEP WALKING THROUGH MY PUZZLES! THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO LET ME EXPLAIN THEM. THEN THREATEN AND BAFFLE THEM WITH DANGEROUS JAPES.

Sebastian looks exasperatedly amused.

Sebastian: This character could not be less threatening if he wasn’t a skeleton. He can do as he likes, of course, but…

Sans: well, maybe they don’t like japes.

Papyrus: EVERYONE LIKES JAPES!!!

Sans: what about undyne? doesn’t she hate puzzles?

Papyrus: SHE HATES PUZZLES. BUT SHE LOVES JAPES.

Sebastian: The distinction is vital, of course- though I couldn’t tell you what it is.

Sans: that makes sense.

Papyrus: HUMAN!! WHAT DO YOU THINK!? PUZZLES OR JAPES? … … OKAY, THIS IS NORMALLY THE PART. WHERE YOU EITHER AGREE OR DISAGREE. AND DEPENDING ON YOUR ANSWER. WE SAY SOMETHING GREAT IN RESPONSE. …HERE, WHY DON’T YOU DO THIS PUZZLE YOURSELF.

Papyrus leaves a piece of paper on the ground and slowly exits right.

Sebastian: Well, he is attempting to be helpful. He would be meeting with more success, however, if he was remotely capable of comprehending the problem at hand. Perhaps being a skeleton is suppressing his self-preservation instincts?

The avatar ignores the paper and interacts with Sans.

Sans: hey… puzzles might be fun. if you tried them.

Sebastian looks irritated.

Sebastian: Yes, I actually happen to agree with that. If I was permitted to try them.

The avatar exits right, passes the dog house, and saves.

[6 left.]

Sebastian: Mini-bosses, I assume.

The avatar exits right again and encounters another puzzle, which Sebastian solves on the first try. He still smiles slightly as the avatar exits right.

Sebastian: Well, at least that wasn’t a complete waste.

The avatar exits bottom and finds Sans.

Sans: what’s up?

Sebastian: What, nothing else?

The avatar goes left and finds Sans on the other side unreasonably quickly. Sebastian smirks slightly and the avatar interacts with Sans.

Sans: say… are you following me?

Sebastian: Clearly, I have nothing better to do.

The avatar exits left, wanders around, and an encounter triggers. It is skipped without comment, and the avatar exits top again, and then right.

Sebastian: Quite a bit of fairly pointless wandering. Am I missing something, I wonder? Though that may be an engineered feeling.

The avatar continues on and finally encounters a number of small piles of snow, ending in a large, excitable armored dog which emerges from another. Sebastian pinches the bridge of his nose again.

[It’s the Greater Dog.]

Sebastian: My worst nightmare.

Sebastian defeats this foe easily.

Sebastian: There isn’t much challenge to this game, is there? Is that, too, deliberate?

Sebastian smirks.

Sebastian: Then again, I may simply be uncommonly good at it.

The avatar continues on, eventually coming to one end of a bridge. On the other, Papyrus and Sans waited.

Papyrus: HUMAN! THIS IS YOUR FINAL AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE!

Sebastian: I haven’t been given any challenges yet.

Papyrus: BEHOLD! THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!

Six different weapons emerge from various parts of the screen, in between the avatar and the skeletons. Sebastian raises his eyebrows and smirks.

Sebastian: Why, Mr. Skeleton, I never would have attributed such viciousness to your character!

Papyrus: WHEN I SAY THE WORD, IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE! CANNONS WILL FIRE! SPIKES WILL SWING! BLADES WILL SLICE! EACH PART WILL SWING VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN! ONLY THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY WILL REMAIN!!!

Sebastian looks unimpressed.

Papyrus: ARE YOU READY!? BECAUSE! I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!

A pause. Papyrus turns away. Sebastian looks irritated.

Sans: well? what’s the holdup?

Papyrus: HOLDUP!? WHAT HOLDUP!? I’M… I’M ABOUT TO ACTIVATE IT NOW!

Pause.

Sebastian: Oh, for goodness’ sake.

Sans: that, uh, doesn’t look very activated.

Papyrus: WELL! …THEY’RE PROBABLY GOING TO WALK THROUGH IT. AND IT WON’T BE ANY FUN AT ALL.

Sebastian: You know, I’m not surprised in the least. And, of course, he doesn’t at all realize that once he activates it, ‘just walking through it’ is actually the entire point…

Sans: hmmm… so this human thing was a bust, huh?

Papyrus: WELL. I MEAN. I’M EXCITED TO CAPTURE THEM. SO I’LL BECOME A FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN!!!

Sebastian: You may try, Mr. Skeleton.

Papyrus: BUT ALL THE TIME I PUT INTO THESE PUZZLES… IT’S KIND OF LIKE THROWING A BIRTHDAY PARTY…

Sans: without traps and fire?

Papyrus: EXACTLY!! IT’S POINTLESS!!!

Sebastian: Goodness. I am violently reminded of far too many people.

Papyrus: MAYBE YOU WERE RIGHT TO BE LAZY ABOUT PUZZLES.

Sans: me? right about something? really?

Papyrus: …YEAH!! WHAT AM I SAYING! YOU’RE STILL COMPLETELY WRONG! I JUST HAVE THE WRONG AUDIENCE! THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH FUN UNDYNE WOULD HAVE HERE! FLAMES, VIOLENCE, IT’S RIGHT UP HER ALLEY!

Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: Far too many people.

Papyrus: SO I WON’T WASTE THIS PUZZLE ON YOU. I JUST HAVE TO APPRECIATE… THE FRIEND I ALREADY HAVE!!!

Sebastian: And perhaps your brother, supporting you every step of the way. But that’s none of my business, of course.

The weapons withdraw and Papyrus turns away.

Papyrus: PHEW! A VALUABLE LIFE LESSON!!! NYEH HEH HEH!!!

Sebastian scowls as he reads the laugh, but does not drop the in-character voice. Papyrus exits right.

Sebastian: Another waste of time, I see.

The avatar exits right, passing Sans this time. Soon it comes to a town, which is mostly quiet. The avatar enters a building, and what appears to be a shopping screen pops up.

[But nobody came.]

Sebastian: That flavor text is going to haunt me in my rare attempts to sleep.

Sebastian selects ‘read’ first.

[(There’s a note here.) Please don’t hurt my family.]

Sebastian: This isn’t a game, this is a lecture on why it doesn’t actually pay to murder people who annoy you.

Sebastian then selects ‘steal.’

[You took 758G from behind the counter.]

Sebastian: And plenty of good that does me if I have no need to buy anything because the shopkeeper has apparently run away.

Sebastian selects ‘take’ and takes one of each item. Then he closes the shopping screen and the avatar continues to explore the area. It is abandoned. The avatar interacts with the sparkling save point.

[Determination.]

The avatar wanders right and finds a monster. Sebastian raises one eyebrow and the avatar interacts with it. He chooses a squeaky voice for the character.

?: Yo, everyone ran away and hid somewhere. Man, adults can be so dumb sometimes, haha… Don’t they know we’ve got Undyne to protect us!?

Sebastian [deadpan]: A tiny moron.

The avatar continues right, but every building it enters is abandoned. Sebastian frowns.

Sebastian: Then why bother to develop the town so thoroughly at all…?

Finally, the avatar exits right into a misty area. It continues right until it is obscured, and then stops and appears as a shadow. A moment later, a shadow Papyrus appears as well. Sebastian sighs, frowning.

Sebastian: Ah. From the looks of the scenery, I’d say it’s time.

Papyrus: HALT, HUMAN!

The avatar steps forward.

Papyrus: HEY, QUIT MOVING WHILE I’M TALKING TO YOU!

Sebastian smirks faintly.

Sebastian: I suppose it is rather rude. But it won’t matter soon, Mr. Skeleton.

Papyrus: I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY. FIRST: YOU’RE A FREAKING WEIRDO!

Sebastian snorts.

Papyrus: NOT ONLY DO YOU NOT LIKE PUZZLES. BUT THE WAY YOU SHAMBLE ABOUT FROM PLACE TO PLACE… THE WAY YOUR HANDS ARE ALWAYS COVERED IN DUSTY POWDER. IT FEELS… LIKE YOUR LIFE IS GOING DOWN A DANGEROUS PATH.

Sebastian’s expression falls into something unreadable.

Papyrus: HOWEVER! I, PAPYRUS, SEE GREAT POTENTIAL WITHIN YOU! EVERYONE CAN BE A GREAT PERSON IF THEY TRY!

Sebastian stops, and remains silent and motionless for five seconds.

Papyrus: AND ME, I HARDLY HAVE TO TRY AT ALL!!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!

Sebastian does not react to either of these statements and reads them somewhat mechanically, though still in his chosen voice. The avatar steps forward again.

Papyrus: HEY, QUIT MOVING! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! HUMAN! I THINK YOU ARE IN NEED OF GUIDANCE! SOMEONE NEEDS TO KEEP YOU ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW! BUT WORRY NOT! I, PAPYRUS… WILL GLADLY BE YOUR FRIEND AND TUTOR! I WILL TURN YOUR LIFE RIGHT AROUND!!!

The avatar continues to walk forward. Sebastian’s voice has regained his energy, but he is still expressionless.

Papyrus: I SEE YOU ARE APPROACHING. ARE YOU OFFERING A HUG OF ACCEPTANCE?

Sebastian [softly]: Fool.

Papyrus: WOWIE!! MY LESSONS ARE ALREADY WORKING!! I, PAPYRUS, WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS!

An encounter triggers and Sebastian flinches, and then scowls.

[Papyrus is sparing you.]

Sebastian: He really is precisely that kind of idiot, isn’t he? Goodness.

Sebastian scowls for a moment longer, and then kills Papyrus in silence.

Papyrus: W-WELL, THAT’S NOT WHAT I EXPECTED… BUT… ST… STILL!

Sebastian cuts himself off. His eyes go wide and begin to glow bright crimson, and his canines lengthen into fangs. Three seconds pass, and then the glow fades from his eyes, his fangs shrink away, and he relaxes. He looks melancholy. Two more seconds pass, and he reads the dialogue in a quiet and unadorned voice.

Papyrus: I BELIEVE IN YOU! YOU CAN DO A LITTLE BETTER! EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK SO! I… I PROMISE…

Three seconds of silence pass.

Sebastian: Well. If I had known he was that sort of character, I might have paid more mind to him earlier on. All the same… it is too late now, I suppose.

Two more seconds of silence pass, and then the avatar begins to walk again.

#sebastian michaelis #kuroshitsuji #black butler #undertale #I WROTE THIS IN ONE NIGHT????#I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED???????#IT IS THREE IN THE MORNING AND I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT??????????#fanfiction #my writing #yes sebastian named his character ciel #he thought it was funny cause it was a helpless kid #WHAT THE FUCK @ ME

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cielospeaks · 4 years

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wishlist for go stream

-apoc event rerun: pls new character. demiservant of either of the twins, sisigo, or jack’s master would be so good. even gordolf’s dad would be so good. someone like odysseus would be weird but im not complaining if he gets added to the game lol.

-for any other event its too early for rerun lol. a completely new event would be fun tho, esp w a free servant and/or new bronze or silver servants! matsudaira when

-maybe new info on lb5 in march? esp regarding odysseus

and for go in general:

-summer, halloween, and christmas still get events. the halloween bs last year was ridiculous.

-its not likely bc sigh movie but that the lawson collab is w the game fgo rather than anime/movie. it was awful they cheated out of it last year too. tbh ig last fall was just disappointments lol

-the golden week collab is for a fate series rather than something else. we still need many extella characters (the paladins and archimedes) and i honestly dont care abt non fate things as much. knk was awesome however.

-the guda event returns and is actually fun. honestly theyve all been ok tbh, each one has some really good points but also some not so good points that it ends up always balancing to “ok” and nothing more. id rather take good playable characters over anything else tho. maxwell/shibata/nobukatsu fking finally please.

-for sal to be in events and interact w ppl who treat him decently. odysseus being avenger would be awesome for that tbh, i could see him as being willing to listen and try to understand sal bc of his personality, and also respecting him for being a musician. more sal and marie (and mozart) interactions pls.

#gameblogging

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antiques-for-geeks · 5 years

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Game Review : Beach Head

US Gold/Access / 1985 / Originally £5.95 / Commodore 16 & Plus/4

Access were in at the start of the home computing revolution. They’re one of those companies that you probably know the games better than the company that made them; Raid over Moscow was one of theirs, as well as Leaderboard and later, Links. Before any of those arrived though, there was Beach Head.

The game was based on some classic World War II style Pacific Ocean theatre action. Everything about the game suggested it; the cover art bathed in the imagery with it’s fighter planes strafing the beach as the landing craft deposited their human cargo ready for the onslaught. The map that greets you at the start of your campaign could be of any Pacific atoll. You can almost hear Douglas MacArthur shouting “I shall return”.

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General Douglas MacArthur, yesterday.

The game was a hit, and was picked up for distribution in Europe by US Gold, conquering this side of the Atlantic. Players who didn’t have a Commodore 64 or Atari home computer soon wanted in on it so US Gold commissioned conversions from other developers, with Ocean notably handling the well received Spectrum version. That sold well too.

So when the Commodore 16 and Plus/4 came along in 1984, US Gold decided to treat owners of those systems to their own version of the game. Beach Head was given to Anirog to convert, who were gaining a bit of a reputation as platform specialists. The game arrived in 1985, two years after Access had released the original.

Firstly, the developers had their work cut out. Anirog had to contend with a target machine with far less resource than the other systems Beach Head had been converted to. Compromise was inevitable.

Just missed ‘im. This happens a lot.

On other systems, Beach Head is made of four stages - you start with a fleet of eight ships and from a map screen you can choose to take them through an underground cavern, threading your boats between mines and torpedoes to make the later levels easier to complete.

This is then followed by the first shooting gallery section; your fleet has been intercepted by enemy ships and you must launch a defence against incoming bombers who will eventually sink your ships if you don’t shoot them down first. Once the enemy is out of fighters (or just bored, it’s never clear which) this then turns into a second shooting gallery round where your attention passes to trying to sink the enemy’s fleet of shops.

Do that and it’s back to the map screen and charging your ships towards the beach and unleashing your tanks over an obstacle course so they get a chance at the fifth level - destroying the big gun at Kuhn Lin in another shooting gallery level. Inexplicably on this level, the enemy gun takes a long time to aim at you and bizarrely, you have to shoot targets at the base of the weapon. This is what causes the gun to blow up - maybe this is what happens when “we’re tired of experts” extends into the military.

Anyway, can you start to see where this is going?

On the Commodore 16, Gone is the map screen and the underground cavern where you thread your way through mines and dodge torpedoes to bring your boats through. Most significantly, the final level is truncated, removing the tank advance, which was a favourite for many players. Anirog focussed on the three which shared the most in common. What remains is still the core of the game however - protect your fleet first from incoming planes, sink the enemy fleet before they sink you, take on the big gun.

Being so significantly cut down was of course necessary for the small memory of the Commodore 16. It could have been done as a multi-load, but then the flow of the game would have been compromised. Plus/4 users, with their 64k of memory get the same thin gruel as everyone else, the size of that market unable to support two separate versions. It could barely support one, but that is for another time.

With the reduced footprint, it is still not enough.The graphics measure up to the C64 original, the sound is serviceable, but there has been a significant compromise in terms of playability.

Your gun turret - your main interface with the game is incredibly difficult to control. You can aim it just fine, adjust the height just fine and a fire just fine. But not all at the same time.

On other versions, combining actions was taken for granted. Sink a ship in the sea-battle level and you’re already moving across the screen changing your weapon’s angle as you go. It’s part of the game. Every fraction of a second counts. However here, try combining things and the turret just stops. Then there is the disappearing turret; when this happens, you really don’t have much idea of what is going on. It’s like conducting a war via seance. Except you’ve not got the plant in the room banging the table leg with their foot when the fake medium wails “is there anybody there”.

This bizarre situation just about works with static targets once you get used to it, but when defending the fleet from incoming fighters and taking on the big gun? It just doesn’t work. You end up just resigning yourself to keeping the gun in one position and elevation and keep firing, hoping that the planes fly into your shots like a blundering toddler into a set of closed patio doors. The element of skill is removed from the game completely and it becomes a weary battle of attrition with you hoping that you don’t lose too many ships to make it to the later levels.

The fighters gone, a ship starts shelling me. God knows what is going on. Press fire and hope for the best.

Why there is a such a glaring hole in the game is inexcusable and smacks of the kind of half-arsed platform exploitation that US Gold were infamous for. Compare this to literally any other game on the Commodore 16 and it really feels like an unfinished budget title rather than something crafted and worthy of your £5.95.

But! Bill Herd who designed the Commodore 16 and Plus/4 said they were never intended to be games machines. They were meant to be more basic machines that extended at the top end into the business market. They were meant for text editing. Give Anirog a break! Oh yeah? Played Trailblazer?

Buying it today

From what we can make out, it does not seem to appear that often so does have a certain uniqueness to it. The C64, Atari and Spectrum copies are ubiquitous but other platforms a lot less so. It was re-released on the Americana label, though this seems to be rarer than the full-price version. Expect to pay anything up to £10.

Commentariat

Tim : Sad to say, but Beach Head has not aged well. While not a bad game, it is very much of its time regardless of the system you play it on. The game is a nice walk down nostalgia lane and in some ways is one game you yearn to return to, but when you do it’s not as good as you remember. This stands in stark contrast to Raid over Moscow...

Liking this version is doubly hard. The cut-down nature of the game I can understand, being fundamentally unable to play I can’t. Don’t waste your time or money unless you are a completist or masochist or both.

Score Lord : How did you get my number? Don’t call again.

Meat : Back during Christmas 1983, my next-door neighbour’s big present was a Commodore 64. He and his brother were given the machine and also had two games, Gorf which came on cartridge and was great for a quick blast and Beach Head which came on cassette which to begin with, they couldn’t play. Their Dad having only seen a Spectrum and thought he’d save a few quid using by a household tape recorder instead of the necessary Datasette. The idiot.

When we finally got to play it, we loved it. So much so that the following Christmas I got the Spectrum version for my poverty-spec gaming experience. Imagine my surprise when I found out a version of Beach Head existed on the equally poverty-spec Commodore 16.

After eagerly loading it, I was hoping for a smart conversion that played to the strengths of the machine. The reality could not have been further from the truth. Disappointed was not the word. Just for comparison I checked out the Spectrum version again and yeah, the problem wasn’t rose-tinted glasses.

Between them, Anirog and US Gold had managed to take a decent game and make it both uncontrollable and dull. Send for the Inspector, a crime has been committed.

Score card

Presentation 5/10

You get the full-price experience for the time, which is quite nice. At least this is an area where they could be arsed.

Originality 2/10

Coming in 1985, the novelty factor of the original was two years passed. With the compression of the game, it’s lost even more in these stakes. It’s now basically just a shooting gallery game, with the fun sucked out of it.

Graphics 4/10

Not going to win any awards, but tidy enough. Hold on, are those blobs supposed to be ships?

Hookability 1/10

You can’t really play it effectively.

Sound 3/10

There isn’t much, but what there is has been done satisfactorily.

Lastability 1/10

No hook into the game, no point in playing.

Value for Money 1/10

Not worth £5.95 of anyone’s cash in 1985 and certainly not worth that today.

Overall 2/10

A conversion so wretched that at the time you’d have been better off putting the money towards a second-hand C64 and picking the title up on budget. Today, it’s for the collector only.

#Commodore 16 #C16 #Plus4 #Commodore #beach head #afg #antiquesforgeeks #retrogaming #retrocomputing #retro review

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clementineviolet · 7 years

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my informal review of twdg episode 5

i’m warning you, this is extremely long

holy shit

let me just get this out of the way and rank the possible endings.

first, lemme rank them by my personal character preferences, as in, the characters i want alive and happy are alive and happy:

ANY ENDING WHERE CONRAD IS ALIVE (this is partly a joke but also not because when i saw conrad’s back in the final scene after exiting the church, i fucking SCREAMED)

kate and gabe alive, david dead: this entire season, I’ve felt this desire to keep Kate and Gabe safe and happy. I had to replay LOL but I’m very happy that I ended up with them alive and happy.

gabe alive, kate missing, david dead: While I’m confused as shit about where the hell Kate is, there’s hope she could be alive, so this ending is up there

gabe and david alive, kate dead: KATE’S DEATH IS SO SAD DONT TALK TO ME JAVI JUST SILENTLY HAVING TO PUT HER OUT OF HER MISERY FUCKING DESTROYED ME AND THEN HIM SCREAMING BYEEEEEEE

gabe alive, kate dead, david gone: SAME AS ABOVE BUT DAVID IS GONE AND AS MUCH AS HE’S AN IMPULSIVE IDIOT, I LOVE HIM AND AFTER LOSING KATE, GABE NEEDS ALL THE FAMILY HE CAN GET

gabe and david dead, kate alive: this is it, the BAD ENDING. oh my gawdddd yall I don’t want my young nephew to dieeeee. WHAT THE FUCK LIKE SERIOUSLY

now, endings by level of just really fucking well-done, whether it be heart-warming or heart-breaking

gabe and david dead, kate alive: god. what a heartbreaking ending. gabe either having to kill himself or javi choosing to do it for him. gabe either giving clem his cards (and asking for multiple hugs ;__;) or getting a kiss right before its too late. GOD. it was so sad. one of the saddest deaths in twdg history

gabe alive, kate missing, david dead: I think everyone has mixed feelings about david, I know I do... But I think that’s a good thing! As someone with a sibling, watching David die in front of Javi made me tear up even though I spent a good chunk of this game wanting to wring David’s fucking neck... “Te quiero Gabriel, te quiero Mariana, te quiero Javier...” THAT got me. And Gabe stepping up to be the one to put him out of his misery. Augh. Pain.

gabe and david alive (or david missing), kate dead: from a story point of view, having kate die is fucking sad but (especially if javi loved her), it’s especially tragic and full-circle-ish. And I just love how the relationship between Gabe and Javi is even stronger because of this tragedy

kate and gabe alive, david dead: While to me the happiest (aside from David’s very sad death...), it seemed a little too good to be true

The more negative parts of the episode

Ava’s death was a disappointment. She wasn’t an important character to Javi, but she was to Clem and to David... it was a let-down.

Tripp’s death was better because he was meaningful to Javi, but they really glossed over his sacrifice.

I wish I could have seen a scene where Tripp and Eleanor reunited. I think the writers kind of left us hanging regarding their relationship? I was hoping Tripp would be able to talk to her again and Eleanor would try and give them a chance again

I wish Eleanor had gotten a scene at the end of the episode, even a brief one where she is walking with Lingard if he’s alive or just helping heal people up. I would like to have seen how she’d react to Javi and his group saving the day after all, and especially to Jesus’s suggestion that Javi take charge in Richmond.

Neutral parts of the episode:

They are setting up Clem’s journey for the next season with the lack of AJ, but I wish there had been something...

No Clem flashback scene! I’ve loved the flashbacks, but surprisingly, until I started writing this review I didn’t even realize we hadn’t played as Clem, not even once. I felt fully comfortable in Javi’s shoes and I’m sad to leave his POV behind! However, I am happy to be returning (assumedly) to Clem as the playable protagonist...unless they decide to pull a Tales from the Borderlands and give us 2 more equal protags (CHRISTA AND CLEM CHRISTA AND CLEM CHRISTA AND CLEM)

The first part of the ep seemed kinda low stakes to me. I only started feeling like “ohhhh shit people I love are gonna die” when David ran off with Gabe, but thankfully I IMMEDIATELY felt dread when the Go after Gabe vs Go with Kate choice came up

POSITIVE/FAVORITE PARTS OF THE EPISODE:

THE COMPLEXITY OF OUR CHOICES. HOLY SHIT. I was NOT expecting how complex it would be? I don’t think anyone was. I still see people who are confused about what prior choices determine whether Clem chooses to stick with Javi, or whether Clem chooses to split up, or she chooses to go after Gabe or go with Kate no matter what. I also have no idea what triggers each of these decisions on Clem’s part.

I like how the consequences of each of our choices is not immediately obvious when it comes to which ending we get. Like, in season 2, you know that if you killed Jane, you’re getting a Kenny ending or you can leave him behind. But if you go with Kate first, is she gonna die? Is Gabe gonna die? Is David gonna die? IT BLEW MY MIND

The little consequences of our past choices, such as:

Clem calling us out for betraying her to Conrad in episode 2

Rufus from episode 1 showing up in episode 5 if we don’t kill him, but he’s bitten and his gal is messed up about it. Or seeing how Rufus’s death in episode 1 broke this poor gal

Lingard showing up at the end of episode 5 and telling Clem where AJ is.

CONRAD! CONRAD! CONRAD CONRAD CONRAD THE DETERMINANT FUCKING GOD. SO GOOD. FUCK.

Gabe’s death. It’s fucked up of me to enjoy his death but it was well-fucking-done.

One of the most poignant scenes early on in the ep was that moment on the rooftop, where David and Javi had a heart-to-heart while standing on the ledge. It revealed so much about David - how he’s a traumatized soldier, pretty much, who believes he’s living off borrowed time. He’s got PTSD. He’s afraid he’s losing his family. He’s afraid of who he is, who he’s becoming.

THE JAVI-DAVID FIGHT SCENE. COME ON. Keeping your Pa’s promise is the BEST way to go. Honestly just so good.

I’m just gonna go ahead and say the David scenes in general, because goddamn. Javi and David’s relationship was fucking complex and it was real

Clem and Gabe’s friendship moments. I KNOW I KNOW HOW FUCKING HETEROSEXUAL OF ME (IM A FCKING LESBIAN CALM DOWN) but I thought the scene with Javi calling out Clem and Gabe’s mutual crushes and giving his blessing was really damn cute.

Jesus and Javi flirting, obviously, we all know how I feel about that already. Telltale got Jesus SO FUCKING WELL. I absolutely love when they tackle comic book characters.

There’s probably so many things I’m forgetting but its midnight and I’m on an emotional rollercoaster. I’ll expand more in my general season 3 review

#twdg spoilers

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