#if i can sneak a pun in you know i’m gonna do it
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Boo! April Fools!
A/N: I know I'm more than 2 weeks late shhh. Anyway, pranking Jing Yuan, Welt, Boothill and Dr. Ratio. Not proofread.
masterlist
Jing Yuan
You choose a very classic prank for this. All you needed was a piece of paper, some ink and something to stick it with
“Morning Jing Yuan.” You greet the general and hug him. He accepts your hug graciously but unbeknownst to him you stick a piece of paper to his back.
The rest of Jing Yuan’s day was…something.
“Good morning Jing Yuan.” “Rest well, Jing Yuan?” “Would you like some tea Jing Yuan?” Sure it all sounded like normal morning talk but…not a single person called him General. Not even Yanqing.
“Good morning Jing Yuan! Shall I start my training now?” Absurd. He’s close to losing it. I mean, he didn’t mind being called by his name but this…no…there was too much wrong with this.
When you reveal your schemes he’s very amused and gives you one of his signature hearty laughs. “I’m surprised everyone went along with it.” “They just wanted an excuse to see you confused since you’re always so calm and collected” “Ah….”
Welt
Now this was a very interesting case. Welt wasn’t someone easy to prank, besides, you hardly knew much about him.
One important tit bit you managed to bribe out of the trailblazer tho was his immense love for collectables, and that’s all the help you needed for your prank.
Welt takes his time surveying the cabins of the express for anything odd. It was a quiet day but it never hurt to be a little cautious, besides, he was bored so might as well.
On his way back to the main cabin he spots something amazing, a small trinket, so small that he almost missed it. Getting down on one knee he realizes that it’s a small keychain of some sort with a toy robot at one end.
The man really felt like it was his birthday, sure it could belong to someone else but, small joys like these were rare.
When he goes it pick it up however, it seemed to have been stuck to the ground
You take the opportunity to start filming him from out of sight, this was going to be hilarious!
Welt tugs on it once, twice then on the third try he rips it off the floor with little to no effort. You just stare at him flabbergasted, was the super glue that weak? No…that can’t be it
You decide not to confront him about the incident and delete any video evidence, Aeon knew what he’d do to you if he found out…
Boothill
What a carefree guy he was, but Boothill got annoyed very quickly so you had many options to screw with him.
That made it harder to pick however, but ultimately you decide on something very devious.
Sneaking into his room at knight you carefully connect your device to him via the usb port on his hip. After that it was only a matter of adding your code to the existing one and voila, done!
Unfortunately your luck ended there.
“What do mew think mew’re doing nya?”
…
“WHAT DID MEW DO TO MEOW?” He looks furious and you’re doing your best not to laugh but you have to physically bite down on your lips to stop yourself. “Stop purring and fix thisss!!” Yea you lost it.
You spend the rest of the day undoing your mess with the occasional cocky rhetoric from your cyborg friend. You’re gonna really miss this tho, he sounds so cute saying all those adorable cat puns. You swore sometimes he’d growl like a cat whenever you slacked off for a bit
Overall, extremely tedious to fix, but was it worth it? Very.
Dr. Ratio
Another tricky guy, you had to pull so many strings just to get everything ready so you hoped the payoff would be worth it.
You set up a small outing with Topaz, Aventurine and Ratio and go to meet up with them, so far only Topaz was there and Ratio joins you swiftly.
“Um…can we help you?” Topaz asks him. “Excuse me?” “Is there anything you need…?” “No? I’m here because you invited me.” You two give each other a very lost look.
“Sorry, do we know you?” Ratio looked like he was close to losing a few brain cells for sure. Luckily just then Aventurine arrived and Ratio visibly looked a little relaxed.
“Heyyy, who’s the new guy?” Yea no, he’s not relaxed anymore, the doctor looks like he’s about to blow a fuse.
“Is this some sort idiotic prank? I’m not interested in playing your stupid games-”
“Oh wait, I know you!” Topaz pipes up. “You’re Sunday right? Can’t believe I missed that signature blue hair.” The three of you share understanding nods between each other as if you had just uncovered some ancient truth. Out of the corner of your eye you swore you saw the doc’s eye twitch.
Luckily you and Topaz managed to slip out of there just as you hear Ratio’s brick book make contact with Aventurine’s head.
masterlist
#hsr#hsr headcanons#hsr jing yuan#hsr welt#hsr boothill#hsr dr ratio#hsr fanfic#star rail headcanons#honkai star rail#reader insert#star rail jing yuan#star rail welt#star rail boothill#star rail dr ratio#hsr aventurine#hsr topaz#c00kie.writes
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Smut of current Nikki sixx
The reader is his wife they are at dinner with Tommy Vince and their wives
Nikki can't keep his hands to himself pleasuring reader under the table with his fingers
As everyone is in conversation with each other Nikki and reader sneak off to the bathroom Nikki works his magic with his tongue and and bends reader over 🍆
Then walk of shame from the bathroom as Tommy and Vince start laughing and say you guys couldn't wait jump each others bones 🧡
Kinktober day 11: public sex
A/n: fuckin love Nikki it’s been awhile since I’ve written for him.
Pairings: Current!Nikki Sixx x Fem!Reader
Warnings: age gap, public sexual acts obvi, daddy kink because yes, Nikki is so damn horny for reader lol, dom!nikki, sub!reader, the other guys and wives poke fun at y’all, Tommy being Tommy and cheesy puns lol.
I’ve given up on summaries lol
You were sat at the dinner table after one of Mötleys shows for the world tour. Right now you’re in Mexico City, enjoying some good Mexican cuisine.
You felt Nikki’s hand trail up your leg towards your pussy and you froze for a minute, making sure everyone was distracted before you hissed, “What the hell are you doing?”
Your husband just laughed quietly and put a finger over his lips, silently telling you to be quiet. “Be a good girl for daddy ok?” He whispered in your ear causing you to shiver and goosebumps arise.
“O-ok.” You responded, and then Rain started talking to you. While yes, you are the youngest of the wives, you still get along great with them. So you tried your best to pay attention to your friends words when you felt the bassist move your panties out of the way and stick a finger into your tight hole.
“Mhmmm….yeah.” You said absentmindedly. Brittany chimed in, “Y/n? Girl, you ok?”
Your eyes widened when he rubbed his finger over your clit. That evil bastard he knows you can barely function when he does that.
“Oh-“ you cleared your throat, “I mean yeah I’m fine. I just don’t know if I’m gonna be able to eat anything my stomachs been upset.”
“Aw honey, do you feel like you’re gonna throw up?” Nikki asked with a facial expression telling you to say yes.
“Yeah. I think I should go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” You replied quickly and felt the older man’s finger slide out of you. You quickly got up and sped walked to the bathroom.
“Im gonna go check on her. Make sure she’s ok.” Your husband said before too got up and headed towards the bathroom.
“Dude…Nikki’s gonna get some!” Tommy cheered loudly and people looked at him with furrowed brows. Brittany smacked him on the arm, “No shit, don’t need to say it to the world. But yes they’re totally fucking.”
Nikki backed you up against the locked door of the singular restroom and unzipped your dress before tugging it down. Your breasts flopping out of the satin material.
“Fuck, I’m so lucky.” The bassist muttered before attaching his mouth to one of your nipples. You moaned and gasped as he nipped and bit the sensitive skin.
“Mmm, love these tits.” He muttered against you, switching sides to give the other side attention.
You threaded your fingers through his hair as you it relished in the feeling. “Fuck, daddy.”
His hand trailed back down to your clothed covered pussy and tugged your underwear down. His fingers inserted into you and you moaned. “Oh daddy, please!” You weren’t sure what you were begging for. “Yeah baby?” He teased, whispering right in your ear before nipping at your earlobe.
You sighed contently at that, “I want- I want your cock.”
“Oh yeah? You want daddys cock? I’ll give you my cock.” Nikki pulled his pants down enough so that his cock sprang out. He picked you up and you spread your legs instinctively. The raven haired man teased your entrance with his tip before inserting into you, feeling your walls clench around him.
“Holy fuck.” He breathed.
“Nikki- please move. Fuck me please.”
“Don’t worry sweetheart I will.” And he started bucking his hips into you. You moaned as he constantly hit your spot.
You clutched on his shoulders harder, nails digging into the material of his shirt. “Mmm…daddy oh my god.” You cried out as he went harder and faster.
“Quiet, we don’t want anyone out there knowing you’re being fucked like a slut now do we?” He covered your mouth as he said this and you nodded, eyes wide and watering.
Finally, you felt yourself get closer and closer to the edge before clenching around his cock your vision going white for a second as that beautifully overwhelming feeling shot through your whole body.
“Mmm- mph-“ your moans and cries were muffled by his hand, and soon enough you felt him shoot his load deep inside of you.
“Oh!” You breathed in relief.
Nikki planted a sweet kiss to your lips, “So good for me.”
The two of you got cleaned up and walked back to the table like nothing happened.
Of course, Tommy couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “Y/n, are you feeling better?”
Your face went red for a bit before saying, “Yeah. It was just a little stomach bug.”
“Yeah, I’m sure it hit you hard.”
Oh god, Tommy knew. And if Tommy knew, everyone knew.
“Yeah, and Nikki came right after you.” Vince chimed in and Rain kicked him under the table. “Vinnie, not appropriate. She’s clearly embarrassed that we all know they had sex in the bathroom.”
“Oh god.” You said as you buried your face in your hands. The bassist rubbed your back soothingly, “Alright we get it. Everyone knows we fucked. Now let’s eat and forget this never happened. Tommy, say something again and I will kick your ass.”
“Yes sir.” The drummer responded with a mocking salute making everyone laugh.
#motley crue#motley crue x reader#nikki sixx#tommy lee#vince neil#mick mars#fanfic#smut#dom nikki#current nikki sixx x reader#nikki sixx smut#nikki sixx x reader#motley crue smut
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Raincheck
woozi x fem!reader | seventeen ff.
[one-shot]
!!! also posted on my ao3 acc! { here }
tags: fluff
cw: hogwarts!au, slytherin!woozi, prefect!woozi, sly gf testing jihoon's nerves lol, teasing, couch cuddles, you're different houses with jihoon, established relationship, fluff!
note: this is an old piece I wrote! just wanted to share it here as well :3
! also, not that comfy w/ 2nd POV, tho hope 3rd POV is good for y'all ♡
word count: 1.1k
do not repost © yutasbimil (2018)
The rain pouring hard outside can't seem to be heard well in the Slytherin common room.
The only thing that can be heard from the dimly lit room was the mild crackling embers by the fireplace, and the blond Slytherin humming along as he got himself comfortable on the couch.
Maybe it is actually the resounding, non-stop downpour outside or is it that Jihoon got too engrossed in a book he got from the Restricted Section that got him too preoccupied, that he didn’t even notice someone creeping into him.
"What are you doing here?" He says, almost a hiss at the figure of the person he's so familiar with.
He almost flinched at the sudden presence, as if she apparated in front of him. His voice reverberates a bit too uncomfortably due to the lack of people occupying the room, it's as if both their breathing echoes along the droplets of rain.
Y/n just comes in and sneaks into the Slytherin common room as if it's her usual thing— quite a common… room occurrence to put that pun lamely out of the box.
Well, it might as well be, but it isn't as settling for the older male as she's so casual about it.
His eyebrows remained knitted together, looking at the girl standing before him. He was so sure that everyone was out since there are still classes on-going...
"Y/n, seriously, this is not the time that..."
She shushes him quickly. Not even bothering about the daggers he's shooting at her as she quickly makes herself comfortable on the couch.
This is definitely not the time I am in a particular mood to see my girlfriend busting into another house’s territory. Let alone her breaking the rules.
‘Rules are meant to be broken,’ a smug tone rings in his ears. Jihoon could already hear her mischievous lips saying those exact words to retort to him.
He remains his glance over her, following her every move like a hawk hunting for its prey. He suppressed a sigh. Even seeing her in her pajama pants, feeling way too comfortable and home-y to be even in a different house common room.
Jihoon just grips on the book at hand and then settled to place it on the table nearby.
“Come on. I’m asking you. Answer me,” he pressed with a tone full of authority.
But she gave no flying broomsticks about it.
“How bossy,” she snickers, finally talking after being silent at Jihoon.
He just glares at her.
“Come on. Jun told me how to get in… And I know things around here already.” She says nonchalantly, as if it’s gonna convince him. He just puffs, way too distracted to even go back to the book he’s reading.
He stares right at her.
“Have you even forgotten about that ‘raincheck’ we talked about, Ji?” she slightly tilts her head sideways, then puts her lips into a thin line. “Earlier? …this week?”
More staring.
“You told me? Because you were busy and…” She bits her lip, necessarily pausing to give time for him to put the puzzle pieces together, but he’s just left with more pieces. Y/n suppresses a huff. “Nothing…?”
She crosses her arms when Jihoon looked more confused than he already is with handling plants in their Herbology classes. And FYI, he got an E on his O.W.L.S. result.
“I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about.” He says in defeat. Y/n only nods absentmindedly, leaning in close to him to remind him of some things.
“You told me that I can come by this week since your schedule’s more free, and that if I can come by at my convenience… I can then spend time together with you in the dorms...” she says, as if laying out a parchment of proof for him to remember. Exams might’ve taken a huge toll on his brain power hence being so absentminded.
Jihoon goes back to his stern look at her, as if he really can’t trace back on anything that he might possibly said.
Y/n slumps her shoulders yet again.
“At least look like you’re happy to see me.” Y/n cooed, gesturing a bit of affection to trickle out of the male’s sharp expression.
Finally, Jihoon’s features soften.
Okay, he does remember some of it coming off his lips, but I didn’t mean it in a sense you barging in here like a mad woman… He holds back a sigh.
“Well, I am, but still…” He looks away for a moment, worrying his lower lip. Being a prefect he is… he’s also bothered of course. She might get in trouble. Not on my watch that she’ll get away with it, that is.
“Stop worrying too much, and let me be…” She says in retort, automatic as if reading his mind. But that’s full of guts for her to express. “Besides, the seniors know me too well. I assure you I am safe here.” She stretches a bit, and even gets comfortable by the toasty fire nearby. It contrasts with the cold stares the older male is giving her, along with the cold weather cooping them inside.
He rolls his eyes at her, letting out a chuckle.
“This is why you get issued on how much of a Slytherin you are.”
“And do you think I care, Oppa?” Y/n sat right up at that, then pouts her lips, playing with the ends of her sleeves. “I don’t think that’s a bad thing though.”
“Like I said, so Slytherin-like of you.”
Y/n emits a soft laugh at that, standing up to even do a curtsy for him. “Thank you, my good Sir.”
It remained quiet after a while.
Even as she gives him a smirk, she still gets silence from the older male. The coldness surrounding them reflects the feeling like the foggy glassed walls enrapturing the muddled stares between them. It’s a distinct type of tension, no words are needed to be exchanged to reveal it.
Y/n shakes her head lightly, perking a brow at him followed by a cheeky smile. “So that means to say I am welcome here anytime then, huh?”
That finally got a reaction from him.
“Unbelievable.”
“Dude , you’ve been seeing bizarre, floating things and disappearing objects on and off for almost two decades,” she throws her hands high, then gesturing at him and to herself, “and you do not believe in an enchanted lady like me?”
“I do agree with the ‘enchanted lady’ part.” He responds and then clears his throat.
Jihoon avoids his gaze as he begins to feel he’s letting himself loose. He shrugs off the blush across his ears and cheeks with a question he had been throwing at the younger.
“What actually brings you here, Y/n?”
She laughs at that, putting both her hands behind her. “Oh, come on, babe. No need to sound so casual.” Y/n smiles.
He just sounded stiff there at his probe.
She pats him on the head. “Lighten up a bit.”
In these instances, he begins to question if they really switched houses. He gets quieter and curious-er whenever she’s around, and her being the sneaky and more of the talker between them.
“I will, now that I got you here.”
Without a word, Y/n envelopes Jihoon in her arms, giving him a light peck on the side of his face. Jihoon wraps his arms around her as he kisses the top of her head.
He breathes in her scent, feeling her legs wrap around his. Jihoon stares at her. “You missed me too much, huh?”
Y/n just warmly beams, nodding in response.
Jihoon then puts a stray hair of hers behind her ear, tucking more of her hair behind her jumper. He leans closer to her again, seeping in more of her warmth.
She scrunches her nose at that, with Jihoon’s eyes forming into light crescents as both of them are immersed into each other’s world again.
They just let the sound of the loud pouring rain seep into them, letting the warmth of each other be enough to ease the coldness they feel.
“What are the odds to have both our classes cancelled, huh?” Jihoon asks after a while, content as the sound of the rain is still evident outside. Y/n finally has done her explaining to him.
“And what better way to spend it like this then.” She leans more on his chest, breathing in his fresh scent with ease as she felt vibrations from him as he lets out a chuckle.
“It does feel nice…” he says, more of a thought out loud.
“And come on, champ, let’s not use our spare time thinking about that and just spend it wisely instead.” she prompts with a pat on his shoulder, scootching closer till they’re no longer hair strands apart. So clingy.
“I’m just saying.” Jihoon moves his arm above the shoulder, playing bits of her hair.
She feels his shoulders relaxing as he heaves in a deep breath.
It feels nice here, it gets more comfortable as time passes, she thought, closing her eyes.
Like home.
She lets the silence envelop them, a smile slowly forming a similar curve on both their lips.
Maybe she does belong here after all.
She accepts her Slytherin side more so in these instances.
And imagine if they were in the same house though… She can get all the time she needs and wants to have him at arm’s length and look after him.
But for now, she can manage very well to slither in their dorm to her convenience.
※ my masterlist | #enjeiwrites ※
#woozi#lee jihoon#seventeen#svt#woozi fluff#woozi x reader#slytherin!woozi#hogwarts!au#kpop imagine#fanfic#enjeiwrites
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Short in Statute, Big in Heart
All Bad Batch Boys X GN!Reader
Sometimes your height gets you a little upset, but your boyfriend will do anything to make you feel on top of the world.
Warnings: mentions of insecure reader because of height, mainly fluff, established relationships, gender neutral reader, short reader (you’re all beautiful), minor injury, over protective boys, kisses and cuddles. Not proofread.
Authors note: hope yous don’t mind that I merged the requests, just saves me from doing two separate things of the same prompt ❤️ enjoy anon and @carodealmeida and sorry for the wait! Also, not my best work. Got a little lost along the way.
Echo
Echo didn’t care about your height at all. But, once he sees that it starts to bother you, he has to wonder why.
“Something the matter my love?” He asks you one afternoon once you’re both alone, nestled up in your shared bunk with your head on his shoulder.
“What do you mean?” You ask, resting your chin on his chest to look towards him.
“Can’t help but notice you’ve been feeling a little down about your height.”
You blink at him and subtly frown. “Was that a pun?”
Echo’s etches with confusion but then chuckles at the realisation of what he said. “Not at all intentional. But still, is it?”
You sigh and flop onto your back with a heavy breath. “Kind of. I feel like I get in the way sometimes.”
“I can assure you that isn’t the case.” He explains softly, draping his arm over your stomach to offer some comfort.
“Echo, a few nights ago you bumped into me and said ‘sorry, I didn’t see you there’.”
His face contorts, a wave of guilt flooding through him. “I’m sorry cyare. I didn’t mean it, I just wasn’t expecting you to be there.” He doesn’t know if he’s making it better or worse but your silence didn’t exactly answer his thoughts either.
So instead, he scoops you back to him and kisses your forehead over and over. “I’m sorry. Do you forgive me?”
You roll your eyes but a smile does flit on your lips. “If you keep kissing my face, maybe I’ll forgive you.” You say teasingly, a wave of relief releasing from Echo’s shoulders as he does what exactly you want, peppering your face in small apologies.
Hunter
Hunter loves you unconditionally. He loves your smile, eyes and heart and has to admit he finds you very cute wether it be down to your size or not. However, your height has both its advantages and disadvantages that had Hunter a worried mess.
So often you would put yourself first to cram yourself into any small gap for the team and each time makes Hunter almost throw up. He would pace back and forth, constantly connected to you via comm and whinges to himself for letting you do something dangerous even though you are yet to have an incident.
“Something on your mind?” You ask him after a successful mission, one that had you sneaking through vents to allow access for the team.
“Nah,” he says dismissively, giving you a smile but you can tell it’s completely forced.
“Hunter.” You look up at him, hands on your hips that showed that you demanded a straight answer.
He sighs before he sits down and wrings his hands together. “I worry about you on missions.”
“Oh not this again, honey.” You shake your head with a sigh.
“I know, I know. But I just can’t help but worry that something will happen to you and I’ll have no access to getting you.” He rubs the back of his head, hoping you’d see his point.
“I get that Hunter, I do. But who else was going to get to that control panel? Tech had no way to hack in and you think Wrecker was gonna weasel his way through the vents? I don’t think so, sweetie.” You stand in front of him, cupping his cheek before planting a soft kiss to his lips. “I’ll be fine. Trust me?”
He kisses you back gently, somewhat reassured by your words. “Always. But I’m still going to worry. As a leader and as your boyfriend.”
Wrecker
When you told Wrecker you liked him he could not control himself when he scooped you up into his arms and planted a sweet kiss to your lips. But then it became a problem. Not because you didn’t want to not kiss him because you did, a lot, it was because the height difference was becoming a problem.
If it’s not him picking you up to kiss you, it’s him crouching down to kiss you. You could never just kiss him without asking unless he was sat down.
Similar to Echo, you were both laying in your shared bunk when Wrecker noticed your glum expression. “Ya okay there?” He asks softly, his large hand coming across to cup your cheek softly and turn your head to face him.
“Does… does my height bother you?” You ask him simply and non surprisingly, he shook his head.
“ ‘Course not!” He exclaims, “is it a problem for you?”
You fiddle with your thumbs and shrug a little. “Sometimes.”
“What makes ya say that?” He frowns.
“Wrecker, you can only kiss me by bending down…. Or you picking me up.” You explain softly, hoping you didn’t offend him.
He nods slowly, releasing quickly why that could be an issue but never one he personally had an issue with because the result still ends up in getting a kiss from you. “I wish I could make myself shorter, but I can’t baby.”
You smile softly, “I know, don’t worry.”
Then, an idea pops into his head. “You could kiss me now.”
You look over at him and sure as anything, your head was level with his without either of you moving. It was perfect. You’re quick to close the gap, savouring the feeling of his lips on yours. “That’s better.”
Tech
Tech didn’t mind your height, neither seeing it a problem or something to take huge note. However, the height difference was quite obvious to him as your wrap your arms around his body, hugging him close where he can barely wrap his arms around you without it crushing your head.
But when you voice you get a little down about your height, he is perplexed to why. “You being shorter than others is not a bad thing. You are perfectly healthy and so it should not be something to upset you.”
“Yeah, I know,” you roll your eyes at your boyfriend but grateful for his words, “I just wish I was a little taller.”
“I believe on some planets people undergo leg-lengthening surgery if that is something that takes your interest.” He looks at you over his goggles, seeing the very much disinterested look on your face. “I’d… rather not.”
He chuckles and reaches out to take your hand, bringing you close. “Darling, you’re fine as you are.” He leans in and places a kiss to your cheek. “Or perhaps I could buy you some stilts?”
His sass made you belly laugh and playfully hit his arm. Though, you’re still very grateful that he loves you regardless.
Crosshair
“Can’t reach?” Crosshairs words from behind you make you pause in your reach up to a higher shelf on the ship, looking over your shoulder at him.
“You know more than well that I can’t reach up there. Why does that medkit have to be in such a stupid place?” Although he was ready to tease you, something he usually did in regard to your height (in a loving yet playful way - he wouldn’t ever go to far to the point he would upset you), his eyes flash with concern.
“What do you need it for?” He walks over straight away, standing behind you as he reaches up and grabs what you’ve been struggling to reach.
“I… hit my head.”
“Let me see,” he makes you face him, bringing you closer to his body and you’re only met with his chest as his fingers trace through your hair and when you let out a wince, he stops and inspects the injury. “You’ve got a small cut.”
“Yeah, I know.” You pull back from your boyfriend, starting to rummage through the kit as he stands with his arms now folded over his chest.
“Were you under a control panel? Again?” He raises his questions and you could only give him a sheepish smile.
“Tech said-.”
“I don’t care what Tech said,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “just because your short is not a reason for you to cram yourself into parts of the ship.”
You roll your eyes, noticing his protectiveness which he isn’t shy about showing with you. “It had to be done.”
You hear him mumble something under his breath and you’re pretty sure it was along the lines of something about Tech getting a cut on his head. “Stop sulking.” You order him, earning a small glare but knows he won’t win with you. So instead, he grabs your thighs and lifts you onto the counter and takes actions into his own hands and helps patch you up.
“Grumpy pants.” You smirk up at him.
“Short arse.”
Masterlist
My Ko-Fi if any feels like buying me a wee tea one day 💜
Tags: @nunanuggets @andyoufollowyourheart @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @captxin-rex @cwarssimp @jesseeka @ashotofspotchka @oohyesplease @megafrost4 @theroguesully @mustluvecho @ladykatakuri @jambolska-grozdova @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @rain-on-kamino @either-madness-or-brilliance @staycalmandhugaclone @ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog @chrissywakingup @kixs-husband @pb-jellybeans @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi @greaser-wolf @tinyreadersmur r @seriowan @agenteliix @kaminocasey @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420 @imalovernotahater @crystal076 @blustalker @the-good-shittt @s1st3r @by-the-primes @the-bad-batch-baroness
#bad batch x reader#the bad batch x reader#nahoney22 writes#bad batch boys x reader#tbb x reader#the bad batch#bad batch headcanons
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a bantery sneak peek of chapter 6!
i'm hoping to post chapter 6 of Juniper & Starlight tomorrow, so here's a preview. this is a banter heavy chapter. enjoy.
***
“So. Four days in, and not a tentacle to be seen.”
“Mhm. Let’s hope it stays that way.”
“Naturally. But I was thinking - what if it doesn’t?”
June finally looks up from the book she’s been reading as the party has made their way along the rocky trails. Astarion is a bit impressed by this, really. How she can manage to have her nose so deep into a book and still manage to avoid every obstacle that comes into her path. More than once he’s considered just nudging a branch or a rock directly in front of her, curious to see if she would have the reflexes to avoid it while keeping her eyes on the pages of her book.
But his little plan requires her liking him, so instead he opts for a conversation.
“Of course, the first sign of change, and I’ll have to stop that pretty little heart of yours,” he says, and immediately winces internally. This? This is his attempt at friendly conversation?
In truth, Astarion hasn’t had much friendly conversation in the past two centuries. It’s mostly all been seduction, flirting, or brutal verbal sparring with his “siblings.” It dawns on him suddenly that he doesn’t know how to have a normal conversation with someone anymore, and he feels the knife of grief twist in his gut as he realizes this is yet another thing he’s lost.
June raises an eyebrow at him. “Yeah. I reckon you will.”
Astarion can see it’s too late to backtrack now, but perhaps he can course correct. Steer the conversation in a more pleasant direction.
“I am open to suggestions. Knives? Poison? Strangulation? Whatever you’d prefer?”
That was not the way to do it, though, he realizes once the words have left his mouth. If anything, he’s sure he’s just made this so much worse. Methods of death may be a fun topic to him, but he doubts someone like June is going to feel the same way. She’ll probably be horrified, and this pathetic attempt will just end up setting Astarion back.
To his surprise, however, June tilts her head in thought, as if seriously considering this question rather than running away in disgust.
“Well, I do got that wyvern toxin in my bag,” she says. “Poison might be the most peaceful, in a way, but…”
“Hm, no. I don’t think poison is for me,” Astarion says, suddenly flooded with relief that perhaps he hasn’t fucked this up as badly as he’d assumed. “Nor stabbing, come to think of it. I always felt decapitation was a fine choice. One good swing and then…nothing.”
“Only if the person doing the swinging has a strong arm and a sharp blade,” June points out. “If you’re missing either of those, it ain’t gonna be fast.”
“Fair point. And I’m not certain any of our companions have the muscle to do it in one chop.”
“Shadowheart might. Or Wyll, but I don’t think a rapier is gonna cut it… No pun intended.”
Astarion grimaces. “No, I don’t want the experience of being decapitated by a rapier. And Shadowheart might make it slow just for her own entertainment. I sense a sadistic streak in that one.” He shakes head with a sigh. “Perhaps I need to rethink my preference. But we were talking about you. What would it be?”
June closes the rather heavy looking book and tucks it under her arm as she considers. “Probably stabbing? As long as you got someone with the right aim - and between you and Wyll, I think we do - it could be pretty quick.”
“A classic!” Astarion is almost giddy, delighted by what he thought was a disastrous conversation opener being entertained. “One good thrust to the heart and you’re gone! We’ll need a good blade, though.”
“Yeah. I reckon it’s like decapitation. Or any other form of killing. You gotta have the right tools and the right wielder or it’ll get real messy.”
“Absolutely. Oh, but there’s always magic, too, I suppose. I hadn’t considered that. Perhaps you could make my head explode with one of your loud thunder spells?”
“A good Shatter spell? Maybe.” June’s eyes are sparkling. She’s having fun, he realizes, and he’s pleasantly surprised to see it. “I could also do a Magic Missile. Three quick bolts right to your heart might stop it from beating.”
Astarion laughs. Not quite, darling, he thinks, very aware of the unbeating heart in his chest.
***
the boy just doesn't know how to talk to people abouta nything but murder, okay? lucky for him, this goody-two-shoes he's trying to seduce is also the fucking dark urge.
if you wanna read more, you can check the full fic out on Ao3 here.
#durgestarion#astarion x female oc#astarion fanfiction#astarion ancunin#bg3 fanfiction#astarion#bg3 astarion#astarion x dark urge#baldur's gate 3#juniper & starlight
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Death Island Spoiler-Free Thoughts post!!!
I JUST finished seeing DI last night (In Aotearoa) and oh my GOD???????? It was S O G O O D????????? It ABSOLUTELY lived up to my expectations!!!!!!!! I’m gonna do a spoiler-free thoughts post first and then I’ll post my spoilers post!!!!!! And if anybody wants any clips of the movie I managed to sneak in, please just ask!!
Ok first off,,, holy FUCK that beginning was S O tense. My friend and I were gripping our seats the entire time and it takes place during a pretty important moment in RE history and I think people are gonna LOVE it
And the villains motivations????? His backstory???????? LITERALLY HEARTBREAKING. It’s ACTUALLY GENUIENLY COMPELLING AND INTERESTING. His backstory is all laid out in that beginning scene and dear GOD it’s SO SAD. I’m trying to keep it Spoiler-Free obviously but I will D I E on the hill that him and his “best friend” were actually gay lovers. You CANNOT convince me otherwise
He was also just genuinely pretty frightening of a villain. He has this one repeated ‘motion’ he does throughout the movie that really makes you tense up, and there’s this one scene with a doctor character that had my friend and I on the edge of our seats
Again, his motivations were actually interesting and made sense!!!!!! And him calling out the main gangs respective organisations (BSAA, DSO, Government, Terrasave, etc etc) for being hypocrites was actually a compelling argument!!!!!!!!! It actually made the characters think!!
I’m trying to word this as best as I can without giving any of the plot away, and @highball66 has talked about this in their posts too, but throughout the movie the main gang are called ‘Pawns’ or ‘The Governments Weapons’ repeatedly quite a lot, and it makes me wonder if that’s gonna come up as an important plot point in a future game or something???? It’s very interesting to think about coupled with the implications of their respective organisations being hypocrites
You’ll all be delighted to know there is SO MUCH shipping content in this movie my GOD. S O many good Chreon moments. So many good Valenfield (for both siblings) and Chamberfield moments (in fact, every scene Rebecca’s in, Claire’s in there too :)) Shippers will have a BLAST
Just as expected, Jill and Leon are the PERFECT duo. They’re SUCH GOOD BESTIES, they work off of each other repeatedly SO WELL. They’re constantly giving each other silly goofy one-liners and saying something sarcastic to make the other one laugh, it’s great
Also, I don’t think Leon has a single serious line in this movie HXNSHDNDHXN everytime he’s on screen he’s ALWAYS saying something goofy or silly or making a pun. It’s GREAT
Also, the characters traumas actually get explored in an interesting and compelling way!!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY Jills!!!! Which makes sense cuz the movies about her, but they all get their moments to talk about how X event effected them etc etc, unfortunately none of it really gets resolved but I’m assuming they’re saving that for a future game
Jill’s kinda does???? She has a Good-For-Her moment with the villain which is fantastic and her and Chris have a good heart to heart at the end
Also, Chris Redfield fans are gonna be delighted with his character exploration in this movie
LOTS of references to Re2 & 3. In fact a BIG plot point/ motivator of the movie all stems from RE2, so Raccoon City fans are gonna have a blast!!!!!
Also, HEAPS of old characters are either mentioned or do actually show up!!!!! Nobody that I think anyone would be screaming to be excited about, but still!!
Unfortunately, Rebecca does get the exact same treatment as she did in Vendetta, but like, in the opposite direction…… she dissapeares for basically the entire movie and randomly shows up to save the day. I can’t complain though cuz seeing her work together with everyone else was FANTASTIC
This truly did feel like the avengers endgame of the RE movies, but there were also PLENTY of hints and open ends to a sequel
Finally, this truly was JILLS movie. When I was told that Jill was gonna be the main character I wasn’t really convinced, but M A N she truly SLAYS in this film. She IS THE MOMENT. This is HER movie and it shows
Aside from Leon’s random goofy one liners, I think my favourite part of this movie was the villain. I WISH I could just spoil his motivations in this post because for resident evil standards they’re SO INTERESTING and AGAIN, his thoughts on the main gangs respective organisations leave a lot to think about when it comes to future instalments!!!!!
10/10 movie, would 10000000% recommend. Truly lives up to my standards. My only negative is that Rebecca was hardly in it for the middle half but that’s it. SO glad we FINALLY got to see everyone working together (Capcom, PLEASE put your characters together like this again!!!!!!)
Forgot to add this, but Jill is cannonically a Jurassic Park fan. In fact, the entire last half of the movie is just a giant Jurassic Park reference
And I can’t PROVE this, but,,,,,, I’m 90% sure there was a Mr Beast reference. You’ll know it when you see it
#resident evil#resident evil death island#re death island#death island#re leon#re leon kennedy#leon s Kennedy#leon kennedy#re chris#chris redfield#re rebecca#rebecca chambers#re jill#jill valentine#re claire#claire redfield#valenfield#chamberfield#chreon
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Stitchy, How Do I Get Back into The Muppets?
Muppet memes are everywhere. They trend every time Brett Goldstein gets his hands on a microphone, or a British politician puts their foot in their mouth. Let the Muppets host the Oscars! Miss Piggy dumps Pete Davidson! Knives Out III! But, reader... it’s been a long time since you last hopped over to sip Lipton’s on Kermit’s lily pad, hasn’t it? And you kind of miss it.
I’m imagining you, dear reader. Not in a weird way or anything... I’m just being transparent about who I intend my audience to be, because I have Twitter poisoning. You know how it is, you rascal, you. I know, because I’m imagining you into existence! Let’s just go with it! Yeah, so- I bet you’re thirty something, low forties. You say ‘No worries!’ a lot, but you sure do have worries. How can you not? You’re way too online, but you hope to the Great Gazoo you’re pulling it off, looking merely casually plugged in, in public. You maybe don’t have kids, who've forced you to plumb the depths of Disney +, but you do have it, because you’re not immune to Baby Yoda and the bionic biceps of a one Bucky Barnes. Aside from that fatuous affair, you’re also in a ever evolving polycule with at least three streaming services, but they still aren’t *quite* delivering what you need from the relationship. You kind of miss being restricted to whatever 6 VHS tapes were in the TV hutch of your childhood home. If you’re too young for VHS, you at least remember having to mail actual disks back and forth with Netflix. You remember that once, practical effects were the only effects. You have taste! And curiosity! And heart! You tear up when you think about Mr. Rogers for too long, which is very sexy of you. Most importantly, dear reader, you appreciate a bit of cornball. You like a lil goof. A cheeky lil pun. A gag so cheap, the shopkeeper is looking the other way as you pocket it, secretly stoked to get it off the damn shelf already... Nobody’s looking, ya know. It’s okay to admit it! You like hokey jokes. In fact, you're spiritually wearing boxers with hearts on them right now, just in case. Not that I’m imagining you in your spiritual underwear.
Did I make it weird?
Shh, shh, it’s fine. I’m Stitchy, by the way! I am alllllll of these things too- it’s fine! Well, I’m not super into Bucky, if we’re being honest- which we are! Because we’re friends now! And you know, friends can ask each other embarrassing questions. Your question is the headline of this, so I won’t beat around the bush anymore. I’m gonna do you a solid. I’m gonna tell you.... How to get back into the Muppets.
Hey, wait! You sneak! You! That guy peeking over the shoulder of the reader I was just talking to. You’ve never seen any Muppets on purpose at all, and you’re hoping I can set you up, too? Ha! I knew it… Yeah, that’s okay. You can follow this list. I won’t rat you out, as long as you don’t tell Rizzo I said ‘rat’ in that context.
Muppet Immersion PART 1: The New Shit.
You’ve already seen the stuff that came down the pipeline in the 90’s. You Mnah Mnah’ed your butt off in your tender youth, and nowadays you still get a little confused when there’s only one Marley in non-Muppet Christmas Carols. You vaguely know that the good people at Henson Co. made post-Y2K projects, but you haven’t checked them out, because you had important, more grown up things to worry about, like curating your MySpace top eight. Then time got away from you. That’s okay, bud- because I’ve been on my muppetfrickin’ grind.
(One note: not all Muppet Materials are made with our age group in mind, and that’s okay! I’m sure Muppet Babies 2.0 has its moments, but we’re only looking at the slightly more mature pieces.)
1. The Muppets, 2011 (watch on Disney +)
They struck gold when tapping lifelong muppet freak Jason Segel to write and star in the Muppet’s comeback to the silver screen. With the expert musical-comedy midwifery of Flight of the Conchord’s James Bobin (director), and Bret McKenzie (music), a beautiful baby Muppet was born! It’s a classic tale of “We’ve gotta get the band back together and put on the best show this town has ever seen Or Else!”. The Or Else, if you’re wondering, is oil tycoon Chris Cooper’s plan to obliterate the Muppet Theater. Best work he’s ever done, I tell ya. Same goes for Amy Adams, who absolutely nails her role as the doting but levelheaded Mary, who’s fiancé is troublingly codependent with his Muppet brother, Walter. Oh, Walter. A wide eyed, whistling optimist, who deserves love and puppies and the whole entire world. In the words of Phil Spector (Yikes) to know know know him is to love love love him. A great entry point for returning, or newly budding Muppet enthusiasts. Highlights include the knock off ‘Moopets’, hostage Jack Black, and Muppet turned man Jim Parsons.
1.5 The sequel, Muppets Most Wanted, 2014 (also available on Disney +) doesn’t work for me. Seeing as it’s my guide to Muppet Immersion, I say you can skip it if you’re not feeling like another feature film, just now! My beef may not be your beef, though. (Too much Ricky Gervais, too much faux-Kermit, and not enough Walter... ((My soul will never be at rest until I understand why TPTB lost faith in Walter as the new audience surrogate. I can only hope Serial has plans to investigate.))) Maybe Muppets Most Wanted will work for you! Definitely DO NOT MISS the absolute feast of bops, again penned by Bret McKenzie:
1.5 a. “I’ll Give it To You”
1.5 b. The Interrogation Song, a thrilling double act by Ty Burrell and Sam the Eagle
1.5 c. We’re Doing a Sequel!
1.5 d. Something So Right featuring none other than powerhouse Celine Dion
1.5 e. Something So Right Demo Reel, because you need to have Bret’s Miss Piggy in your ears, too.
Whenever Piggy wears a hat with one lil’ ear out!? That’s the good stuff.
2. It’s time to play the music, it’s time to light the lights, it’s time to fire up the Baby Yoda machine to watch The Muppets, 2015. Confusing, yeah... It’s the same-named, but sadly short lived series, spun out from the success of the new films. The docu-sitcom format is a natural fit for the fourth-wall breaking Muppets. For the first time since 1984’s Muppets Take Manhattan, Kermit is solidly the leading man. We find him back in the studio, producing Up Late With Miss Piggy, amidst a flurry of Muppet interpersonal problems. As a quintessential Will They, Won’t They couple of the last half a century- it’s kind of incredible that the Muppet media that best portrays why Kermit and Piggy love each other is the one where they are very emphatically Did, But Don’t Anymore. It’s a refreshingly grown-up main story line! Aside from that- we all know C is for Cookie, but B is for B-Plots and running gags that absolutely slap. Fozzie’s beleaguered love life, Uncle Deadly’s wrangling of Piggy’s vast wardrobe, Scooter’s ongoing beef with his mother’s boyfriend, the meddling network president June Diane Raphael... I truly can’t get enough! Because they canceled it! Hmmph! And a pink satin heeled kick, and a hiiiii-ya!!
Anyway, the cameos and needle drops are expertly deployed, as fitting and offbeat as ever. I’m especially fond of Christina Applegate, Ed Helms, and Josh Groban’s appearances.
My absolute favorite episode, if you watch only one, is “Swine Song”. The network saddles Up Late With Miss Piggy with a brand manager who’s dead set on giving the show a face lift. Key and Peele, now reduced to running an Etsy shop after their own fiasco with the brand manager, feature.
I don’t know what happened, that we didn’t get more of The Muppets. Perhaps the 30 Rock-ification of the Muppets might have been more at home on a different network, with a different pool of veteran talents and sensibilities? Were we as a society just not ready in 2015 for a story about workplace friends, grounded by such sincerity? Eh, maybe. It’s no surprise Ted Lasso’s Bret Goldstein is one of the most vocal proponents for a Muppet comeback, with that in mind. Same niche!
If there is any justice in this universe… [clenches fist]
3. The Muppets Haunted Mansion, 2021, on Disney + is a welcome return to form after the platform’s first “exclusive” but paltry offering of Muppets Now (Don’t even... Don’t even bother to look…). Gonzo and Pepe challenge themselves to face their fears and spend the night in the spookiest place on earth, inspired by the beloved Disneyland ride. It’s great. If you’ve taken my advice this far and you’re still in, just. Just go for it. It’s 52 minutes. What else you got goin’ on? You’re elbow deep in some internet weirdo’s ramblings about a fifty year old troupe of talking socks.
Can’t get enough? Need to soak in hours more of puppety perfection?
4. The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, 2019, Netflix. Not technically the Muppets TM, but absolutely a must see for a burgeoning Henson buff. Did you ever see the original 1982 film? Do! It’s rentable. The Dark Crystal is some high fantasy, live action, no humans, all puppet madness. It’s disturbing and strange and beautiful. An age old tale of corruption and ideals, told by some of the cutest, oddest little creatures you’ll ever see. (Deet and Hup!!!) And I mean. C’mon. The vocal talent! They didn’t even fit Bill Hader on the wiki cheat sheet, that’s how stacked it is!
5. Fraggle Rock: Back to the Rock, 2022, Apple TV. This one’s definitely made for the kids, but it’s exactly as lovingly rebooted as you hoped.
We’re getting down to some slim, definitely non mandatory pickings, now. Uhhhh…
6. Miss Piggy made an appearance on Drag Race!
7. The creature workshop whipped up some puppets for Coldplay’s Biutyful music video!
8. And here’s a half hour supercut of a bunch of ads featuring the Muppets, in the last fifteen years or so. It’s not entertainment, per se, but at the very least, you’ll see the Kermit Sipping Tea origin.
PART 2: Outside Readings
The road to your Masters in Muppetfrickery has been paved by many scholars. Here are a few peers whose work you might like to check out, now that you’re no longer a tadpole, but a fully grown frog, with hard cover books and podcast subscriptions, and junk!
Jim Henson: The Biography, by Brian Jay Jones
This book is exactly the comprehensive, compassionate deep dive you hope it is. Watch out, though! It did make me cry in an airport.
I Am Big Bird: The Caroll Spinney Story, 2015.
A feel good documentary about the man under the bird. Available on Prime, Peacock, and others.
Muppet Guys Talking, 2017
Five of the original Muppet performers discuss their iconic characters. Muppetguystalking.com
Street Gang: How We Got to Sesame Street, 2021.
You guessed it! A doc about Sesame Street, on HBO.
Defunctland has also done some stellar coverage of the Muppets, Fraggle Rock, and more!
Follow ToughPigs.com for a survey of what's up and coming in the various Henson adjacent worlds, and top tier curation of Muppet history. They have a podcast, too!
If you are lucky enough to live in NYC or DC, you can even see some Muppets in person!
Museum of Moving Image
The Smithsonian
PART 3: The Oldies!
Whatever Muppet movies you had access to as a kid- there’s a good chance there’s one you missed! Good news is there’s still time to play catch up- whew!
Stitchy’s TOP TEN of the pre 2000 canon:
1. THE MUPPET MOVIE 1979 (Disney +)
2. MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND 1996 (Disney +)
3. THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL 1992 (Disney +)
4. THE DARK CRYSTAL 1982 (Rent Only?)
5. LABYRINTH 1986 (Netflix)
6. THE GREAT MUPPET CAPER 1981 (Disney +)
7. MUPPETS FROM SPACE 1999 (Rent Only?)
8. THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN 1984 (Prime)
9. THE MUPPET SHOW 1976-1981*** (Disney +)
10. EMMET OTTER’S JUGBAND CHRISTMAS 1977 (Prime, Peacock)
If you’ve missed any of the top 5, BOY HOWDY are you in for a treat. Especially if you’ve never seen the original Muppet movie. I am on my hands and Always Conveniently Off Screen Knees, begging you to give it a shot. If it’s been decades- give it a watch with fresh eyes. It’s a sweet, simple, silly story about a frog who dreams of making people happy. It’s about art, and integrity, and joy, and friendship, and it’s just about the only place you’re gonna get Hare Krishna jokes, nowadays.
Of course, this list is just a start. There were quite a few obscure TV specials and series besides, but as they are very hard to track down on streaming, I won’t insist on their viewing. I do highly recommend the series Jim Henson’s The Storyteller, 1987-1989, however. These episodes are all self contained if you can dig one up on Google, and they are exquisite pieces of art. John Hurt stars as the gruff old Storyteller, weaving fantastical yet tactile folk tales that have stuck with me for decades.
***Sheesh! The Muppet Show is like, 44 hours of television. I can do better than just point you at it in its totality! That brings us to:
PART 4: Going Right to the Source.
It’s the OG. THE Muppet Show.
By all means, crack open that laptop and follow your nose! There are legends aplenty to pick from, and just about every one of the 120 episodes has a classic moment, somewhere in there. As you scroll through the many guests, I’m sure you’ll be drawn to such greats as Rita Moreno (This appearance is The E in her EGOT!), John Cleese, Julie Andrews, Bernadette Peters, Steve Martin, Elton John, Madeline Khan, Gilda Radner, the cast of Star Wars, and Carol Burnette. They all put on fantastic shows that are essential viewing, but I must also put in a good word for some personal favorites.
Paul Williams, one of the great American songwriters, author of The Rainbow Connection and many other classics
Vincent Price, your favorite creepy uncle, and mine. (That’s right! We’re not just friends, we’re also cousins!)
Avery Schreiber, who never ever holds back, and whose episode features the fantastic Electric Mayhem rendition of “Tenderly”.
Sandy Duncan, who’s “Nice Girl Like Me” is an unforgettable, leggy revamp of the Manilow classic.
Mummenschanz, who are impossible to describe, but who would have ruled Tik Tok.
Leo Sayer, serving up three of my favorite 70’s tunes.
Pearl Bailey, bringing down the house with a pastiche sure to delight any musical theater nerd.
Harry Belafonte. “Turn the World Around” never fails to bring a tear to my googly eye.
Linda Ronstadt, lacerating the ONLY live vocals in the history of the show, and also crushing so so hard on Kermie. Relatable af
PART 4: Looking Forward
(video)
And you may ask yourself, "What Muppet Am I?"
And you may ask yourself, "Why are there so many songs about Rainbows?"
What should come next for the Muppets? I say, if Disney is gonna own everything and everypiggy, go whole hog! Make Kermit the Avenger’s new therapist. Maybe he’s outside their insurance network (and dimension) but they have great rapport! Give Piggy a real late night slot, and get Grogu on to host a remote segment! Keep making the kids their kid shows, but embrace the grown up Gen X and Millennial audience with their own fare. Get back to the Muppets Sex and Violence roots, I double dog dare ya! Make a Muppet dating sim! Reboot Statler and Waldorf: From the Balcony on Youtube! Hook up Lil Nas X with the Electric Mayhem! Stop dicking me around and get the Muppets to host the Oscars, for real! Bring back my best boy Walter, and take advantage of the Muppets’ unparalleled skill for literary adaptation. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Muppet is a story that demands to be told!
Well, we do know one new series on the way in 2023- The Muppets Mayhem. A junior record exec must wrangle the unwrangle-able Electric Mayhem through the modern music industry as they record an album. I don’t know about you, but I’m crossing my furry little fingers.
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Hey Mom, Dead Mom
Bonus chapter: You won’t believe the mess that we’ve become
bonus chapter has arrived! this was originally a scene from the second chapter, but it ended up with so much Cole and Jay interaction that it would have caused the whole fic to be unable to be read as a standalone. I still really like it though, and it explains a few things in ‘Cause daddy doesn’t love me, mommy is a god, so I’m posting it as a bonus chapter. this is cross posted to ao3 as well
~
Cole dialled the number slowly, as if it would delay the inevitable. He watched it ring three times before Jay picked up. “Hello?” He said.
“Hi, Jay,” Cole said softly. “It’s Cole.”
“Cole!” Jay exclaimed. How did he manage to sound so happy when Cole had been ignoring him for months? Cole had been expecting anger and yelling, not Jay sounding like this call was his birthday present. “Whatcha need? Do we have to get kicked out of another cinema?”
“I need to talk to you about stuff,” Cole decided to say. Best to get straight to the point rather than dance around it. Pun not intended.
“Talk about what?” The concern was evident in Jay’s tone.
Cole took a breath and got it over with. “I’m being sent to boarding school.”
“WHAT?”
“Yeah,” Cole said. “I’m leaving on Sunday.”
“B— but why?” Jay sounded so hurt. Cole wished he could stop Jay from being hurt.
“I don’t have a choice, Jay,” Cole said over the phone. “I’m sorry.”
Jay’s voice was very small. “Can we at least meet up? Before you leave?” The twelve-year-old asked.
“Yeah, sure,” Cole said. He blinked the tears out of his eyes. “Tomorrow? It’s the only day I’m free…” Dad wanted Cole to be packed by Saturday, since he was leaving on Sunday, and tomorrow was the only day he could sneak out.
“Okay,” Jay sounded choked up, like there was something stuck in his throat. Cole imagined that he was crying over the phone.
“See you,” Cole said. Then he hung up before Dad could see he wasn’t packing.
~
The next day came much too slowly. Cole spent most of the night practicing what he was going to say to Jay, how he would apologise for not being around for so long. Cole really wasn’t good at this whole ‘being a good friend’ thing.
When tomorrow finally came around, Cole jumped out of bed and got dressed as quietly as possible. Most of his clothes were already in the suitcases, but a hoodie and pair of jeans were still out. Cole put them on and got out of the house quickly. Dad was at work, because he couldn’t be bothered to help with anything, but better safe than sorry.
The cafe they’d chosen to meet at was decently busy when he arrived. People streamed in and out, clutching cups of coffee and talking on the phone. One man was so distracted that he almost lost his wallet twice. Cole picked it up for him and watched him go out the door cursing. Kind of rude, but Cole didn’t care. He was too busy waiting for Jay.
“Hey,” a voice said, and Cole turned to see Jay sliding into a seat. “Haven’t seen you in a while, Rocks-for-Brains,” the familiar nickname made Cole smile.
“Same.”
Jay clasped his hands together. His expression was grim. “So, you’re really leaving? No offence, but your call yesterday didn’t explain a lot.”
“Yeah, I am. My dad’s forcing me to go,” Cole’s voice was thick.
“So we’re never gonna see each other again?”
“I don’t know,” Cole shrugged, and it was the truth. Dad wanted him to stay at MOSPA even during breaks, so that he could ‘build character.’
Jay sniffled and wiped a tear away. “If this is the last time we see each other, it’s gotta be the best one-and-a-half hours possible.”
“I’m sorry for not being around and ignoring you,” Cole said suddenly. He’d been wanting to say that ever since Mom died.
“You were grieving for your mom, dummy,” Jay narrowed his eyes. “You still are. I mean, yeah, you were a bit of a jerk, but it’s not like I was mad. And even if I was, it’s all forgiven.”
“You’re supposed to be mad and screaming at me.”
“Do you want me to? I’ve been doing drama lately, so my vocal cords are really good. We can do the whole ‘old married couple screaming at each other’ thing.”
That made Cole laugh a little. Jay was exactly the same as he’d remembered, always cracking jokes and trying to make people smile. “No thanks, I prefer not getting kicked out of places.”
“You sure? We can even flip a table and throw coffee,” Jay sing-songed.
“That’s a safety hazard. Coffee is really hot.”
Jay rolled his eyes and turned to the counter. “You want anything? I’m buying.”
“No, I’m buying, since I’m the one who was a jerk,” Cole stood up.
“Nuh uh, oldest pays.”
“It’s only six months,” Cole glared. They were already back to their old dynamic, which was nice. He’d missed hanging out with Jay.
“Six months is enough to be half the year.”
“Yeah, so you’re old?”
Jay gasped in mock horror. “I am not old!“
“M’kay, grandpa.”
Jay stuck his tongue out at him. “We’ll split it fifty-fifty,” he said.
“Fine.”
~
A hot chocolate and muffin later, it was past two in the afternoon. Cole shot up when he saw the time — he had to be back home soon!
“I’m sorry, Jay, but I have to go,” he packed up his stuff and closed the backpack.
Jay looked at him understandingly. “Your dad’s gonna be back and you have to get home.”
“Yep,” Cole said. He pulled a little box out of his pocket and handed it to Jay. Hopefully the stuff inside wasn’t messed up from being jostled around. “Here, this is for you. A goodbye present.” He pressed the box into Jay’s hand.
Jay looked at it curiously. “What is it?” He asked.
“I already told you,” Cole said. “It’s a goodbye present.”
“But what’s in it?”
“You’ll have to figure it out yourself,” Cole smirked. He gave Jay a hug and ran out the door. He hoped that Jay liked the bracelet.
#bruise childhood friends au#ninjago#ninjago fic#ninjago au#lego ninjago#jay walker#cole brookstone#cole hence#ninjago cole#ninjago jay#ninjago fanfiction#cole ninjago#jay ninjago#kit's writing#I am unhappy with the ending but I ran out of juice so this is what you get
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Okay, I got two episodes to burn through (pun intended), and apparently we won’t find out until May if the show is getting renewed, so I’m a little peeved, but, here we go.
Last time on Quantum Leap: A whole bunch of Hannah.
Also, fucking Gideon indirectly forced Magic to throw himself under the bus.
Meanwhile in 2026/2024, Jen (in my head) spent a whole real time week trying to talk Magic out of this.
“I can’t imagine this place without you.” Well, if NBC decides to play fucking ball, maybe we won’t have to.
“Stay for one last leap?” “Not this time.” Show, I already said NBC was on thin ice with the on the nose shit.
And Ben leaps into that one level of Balan Wonderworld, so you know he’s in Hell.
“I’m a firefighter. Cool.” Ben, you are in the middle of a fire.
Oh goody, the TV committed suicide.
“We were testing my new circuit board-“ Either this kid is Hannah’s son, or he’s Kid Gideon. The literal only two options.
“Your dad is gonna be okay.” “That’s not my dad, he’s my neighbor.” Oh, so he can die then, cool.
“My dad died a couple years back. We all thought a heart attack would get him, but then he ran a red light.”
New Jersey fucking claims another victim…
“…mom, why are you looking like you know the firefighter? Does this have to do with that Cairo thing dad mentioned a couple years ago?”
And Ben is about to give Ziggy a stroke by exploring the stock market, and luckily Hannah is smarter than that.
Plot twist: Ben somehow caused that car accident.
“Hey, Ben, I know you’re in the middle of Hannah shit, but I gotta tell you about the Gideon plot now, sorry.”
Okay, so Ben’s guy is about to retire, shot in the dark, the leap has to do with him dying on the job.
Okay, I am now confident in my guess that this leap or the next will retcon Gideon from the plot if you’re doubling down on Magic “leaving”, I am confident.
“Whelp, I shoved a plant into a box, time to go.”
“You should have let them fire me.” Ian, no offense, but I am willing to bet Gideon is gonna demand all of you quit.
“Look, Jenn, I know you kept wanting me to not do this, so as a prize, you’re New Magic.”
So yeah, Magic is totally gone from the show for real, definitely gone- so anyway, back to Hannah.
“It’s been three leaps. I had some fun in the 80s.”
“Do I look old?” Hannah, you haven’t aged a day since 1948.
Ben, once again, unless you caused that car crash, stop blaming yourself.
Hannah is the key to Quantum Leap.
“This is the last episode I’m in, Ben. To celebrate, explosion.”
So, the plot has been hijacked by the Transformers, got it.
Okay, so now we’re doing The Towering Inferno.
CALLED IT
“Lady, stop acting like I’m talking to ghosts, I’m a firefighter, and you ain’t.”
“20 years of experience” is basically the Get Out of Jail Free card for this leap.
This is turning into the plot of a Webster episode…
How many fires has Hannah seen in her life, goddamn…
Ben, Hannah has seen Nazis and the ending of Red Dead Redemption, a fire ain’t nothing by comparison.
“The chagrined look on your face tells me Addison says I’m right, so I win.”
“HEY, WHEN SOMEONE KNOCKS ON THE DOOR, YOU ANSWER IT!” Fucking mic drop.
Great, now the fire is chasing you.
“We gotta go through the fire.” “Fuck that shit, even if this is our fault!”
And Gideon has been ripping out the wires… Or it’s because Ian had shit timing, either or.
And Hannah has decided this burning building needs a love triangle.
“The one thing I did that actually worked”, my ass. Ben, you kicked cancer’s ass last week.
“Look at this from a cosmic perspective.” Hannah, the last time someone said that in this show, they were looking to be stuck in the Imaging Chamber for 1600 years.
And now the Fire Sheilds are armed.
Hacking into the power grid to defend the rock, roll goddamn tide.
I love how this looks like a music video.
The fire is angry!
There, they escaped the music video.
…is Hannah gonna die this leap?
I actually admire the fact Jeffery didn’t sneak back inside to get Josh’s stuff. [And three… two… one…]
“I know I just inhaled a bunch of smoke, but I just solved the plot-” “Ben, the building exploded again, that means Jeffery snuck back inside.”
Ian is having his Khan moment, everyone is doing great mentally.
“Math’s just not mathin’.”
So, the DARPA code should be in a museum, got it.
Jenn, stop acting like Magic ain’t immediately coming back.
Hannah, it’s bad enough Ben keeps blaming himself for shit…
And now the fire is retaliating.
God is fucking pissed at you all this week.
“Look, I know I’m pinned, but Jeffery’s more important.”
If Hannah does this episode, then this is a shitty way to go, dear god…
And Hannah decides now is the time to solve the plot.
Jeffery, it’s your own fault this is happening, stop being bitchy.
Jeffery, if you don’t want to see a grown man cry, leave now.
ANNNNNNND THEY FORGOT TO GRAB THE DARPA FILE.
“Time isn’t a river. It’s an ocean. Hopefully you trapped that file from my apartment.”
And Hannah dies…
“Let me use my dying breath to fix your relationship problems.”
Crawling on the ledge of a burning building. If I had to do that, I would instantly die.
Yeah, Ian, just type shit!
…is that constant idea gonna be the thing to undo the time skip?
The only way is down. I would 100% die on the spot.
How is Ben not shitting himself in fear as he does this?
“I know you’re scared! I’m scared too!” NO SHIT
“Choose courage! Jump from the exploding building!”
“Let’s go save your mom!” Ummmmmm…
And back into the music video we go.
Oh, cool, Hannah still has life in her…
NBC, seriously, you need to renew this show.
And Ben gets bailed out by a mention of retirement.
“Tell her thanks. She knows.” Fuck yeah she does, she was the only one to solve the plot.
And Hannah’s code turns out to be Stop ‘n’ Swop.
And in comes the armed gunmen.
“I wanted Ian fired. Magic didn’t do that, so, fuck it.”
Hannah got a sneak preview to this movie, Ben, she doesn’t need to see it.
And Jeffery is about to learn about Ben.
I love how Hannah is getting the kind of goodbye montage a show does when a character dies… despite not being dead.
“I wrote DARPA code to get you home, Ben. I even had a file in my apartment containing the data, you grabbed it, right?”
“���lady, why was I hugging you?”
And Gideon decides to be an even bigger asshole than he was prior, so Addison decides to steal a gun.
Addison, don’t play chicken with the universe here…
…so, they have the spare keys to Beth’s house, I take it?
One down one to go. Gideon is 100% gonna get retconned.
#as the world burns#quantum leap#spoilers#balan wonderworld#transformers#the towering inferno#a very special episode#Webster#the leap back#star trek ii: the wrath of khan#banjo kazooie
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Dance with You Tonight
includes: ugly old people haters, gn!reader, the zubayr theater is woke af, no beta we die like kavehs dad
having cyno as your boyfriend is quite the bummer, having to always sleep alone while he scouts around the desert, searching for the latest wanted criminal, not to mention how hard it is to catch him in the morning as well! the only trace of his presence is the torn paper on the dining table
“Why did the sea sponge wake up early everyday?
To get the ‘moist’ out of everyday.
In case you didn’t understand— moist sounds like most. and sea sponges come from the ocean which makes it moist.
I’m quite sure I’ll be able to come back early for dinner, but if I don’t come, don’t wait up for me (that is if you aren’t gonna be busy practicing). I love you, dear
, Cyno”
it’s just surprising how cyno can come up with a new pun everyday. giggling at his note, you put it back on the table, before getting yourself ready and heading to the grand bazaar.
“mx. s/o, you’re here!” nilou spoke as she made her way towards you. “nilou! alright… are we going to continue our practice from where we stopped last night or from the start again?” you asked as you left your belongings with the prop masters. “oh! hmm.. let’s start from the top so that we don’t forget it” nilou concluded as she went into position.
the zubayr theater had been working on a performance honoring the late goddess of flowers, lesser lord kusanali’s dear friend from before the archon war. as the two main performers of the theater, the two of you were obviously the main choices to play them, nilou as lesser lord kusanali and you as the god(dess) of flowers.
practice had gone for hours into the night, both you and nilou dancing and acting with grace as co-performers, acting as other minor gods clapped and sang along to your dance of sabzeruz. even if it was acting, it hadn’t felt like it, the fun and cheer of your friends being as genuine as the beautiful purple hue of the padisarahs made by the crew.
from the floor, excited friends of the performers watched the practice; mr zubayr, inayah and her father, tighnari, and even cyno has snuck some time to get a sneak peak of your hard work!
it truly was wonderful. even though it was just a rehearsal, no costumes or backdrops, it already felt like he was back in time, thousands of years ago, spectating the birthday of buer; the way your legs spun you in circles, the way your hands flowed with the light spotlighting you, even the very way your hair cascaded and lightly followed your every spin and step took his breath away, as if the true god of flowers had resurrected and guided your body’s movements to create a breathtaking performance— actually not only him, the way your every move glided, kept the audience breathless, excited for the true performance tomorrow.
that is, until five men in akademiya uniform had found out about the performance. they stood beside the other people watching, almost all in their late twenties or early thirties, besides one being around the age of 46 or so. it seems they’re supporters of azar from during the experimentation “we’ve heard that your theater troupe is preparing a performance to honor lesser lord kusanali.” the ringleader said, his eyes glaring to meet every single person in the cast, his voice laced with mockery and judgement. “don’t you fools remember of how grand sage azar had banned performing arts? this is an illegal performance!” one of his goons yelled.
mr. zubayr has foreseen this and already stated his argument to the hecklers. “you idiot! do you seriously not remember the prohibition act?! it says— ‘all public performances in sumeru city are not allowed, guards are to immediately stop the performance and take them into custody.’” he recited word for word. he waited for mr. zubayr’s response before he had spotted cyno, pointing his finger at him “there! general mahamatra cyno knows every rule word for word! general, please shut this down right now.” the elder man kindly asked whilst smiling, thinking that he had won. “yes… you are right, although, i remember hearing from mr. sharif that intellectual performances were allowed, correct, sir?” he looked over to inayah’s father as he nodded in agreement.
“this performance is detailing the sabzeruz festival, the birthday of our archon— as well as the creation of the padisarah. history is intellectual in my opinion. in fact, isn’t the vahumana darshan dedicated to history and social sciences? which would mean that this performance could pass as intellectually-stimulating.” he sighed out.
“yes..! as the mahamatra said, the akademiya has its’ very own darshan for history, which is, in fact, what this play is about!” mr zubayr smugly agreed with cyno, he totally knew that, cyno just beat him to it y’know?
the scholars stood stunned, trying to find a new ground to argue with. “yes, well the act still stated that ALL public performances be banned. you can’t even say that it isn’t valid, because the acting grand sage hasn’t even thought to revoke that act!”
“that is true… why hasn’t alhaitham revoked that yet… anyways, none of the corps of thirty had actually seen it either since it was overridden by the information that the lesser lord had broken out of the sanctuary of surasthana, and it seems like they still don’t know even until the akasha had been turned off.” cyno replied, his patience running thin with how this know-it-all tried to debate with the general mahamatra, seriously… the five stood dumbfounded and embarrassed, the eldest’s face as red as fire. he whispered to the other four as they move back in the path to the akademiya, perhaps to find more rules to have the theater banned.
cyno pouted in annoyance as he walked towards the foot of the stage. “it’s already midnight, i think you all deserve a break, right? the zubayr theater works too hard…” he said as he shooed the members to grab and drink and go home. mr. zubayr tapped cyno by the shoulder. “mr. cyno, i’d like to thank you on behalf of the troupe… if it weren’t for your intervention, i fear those scholars would’ve stood corrected and try to close the theater like before…”
“sir, it wasn’t a problem, really…” his eyes downcast in thought. “the theater is a home to my friend and my partner, i’ve heard so many wonderful memories that happened here, it’d be a shame if all of that were to just go away.” he shrugged, cyno’s hands trying to grab you and bring you to the concrete “cyno, if i fall and get a head injury, i’m going to take away your casket of tombs” you jokingly threaten your boyfriend as he finally let go of your fingers, leaping down the stairs to meet him where he waited. mr. zubayr laughed at your childish threats with cyno. “even so, thank you, cyno for saving the theater” he nodded with gratefulness as he went to the stage to help contain the paper decorations in preparation for the performance tomorrow.
cyno intertwined his fingers with your’s before wrapping his arm around your waist to bring you closer as you started your walk home. “y’know, your dance was amazing awhile ago. i know you didn’t get to finish final rehearsal because of them… but it was still amazing, love. would you mind showing me the full dance it in all its’ glory later before we sleep?” he smirked as you laughed and shook your head no “my dear, i’m all danced out tonight, i can’t stand anymore!”
the oh-so scary general frowned in dismay “not even for me? after the note i wrote for you this morning too..?” he pouted satirically. “nope! if you wanna see it so bad, you have to buy a ticket~” you shrugged and grinned cheekily. cyno sighed sadily “shame… i would’ve danced with you tonight too.”
#guys u dont get it ive been cynos fan since DAY 1 EVER SINCE HIS APHMAU CAREER I WAS THERE!!!!#mod maki#genshin impact#cyno#cyno x reader#cyno x gender neutral reader#sumeru#live laugh love laufey
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My Trans SuperPowers -- #2
A poem, dedicated to the celebration of being trans, and to the education of those who 'don't get it'
(lay this down to a sweet groove...)
* * * * *
I’d like to share a bit with you — about my transition
To counter the spite for people who are in this position
Transphobes accuse this of being an arbitrary decision
That we make to ally ourselves with leftist activism…
They have zero respect for the emotional precision
Of discovering your authenticity, and escaping your body-prison,
...
To be a trans person, is to belong to a tribe
Who find themselves always, on the outside
You hear the people joke, mock and deride
But you really fear the violence that follows from the jibes
Can you imagine your life if you always had to hide?
And hate? Like….hate?
Why do we get this hate?
Like we’re fucking-perverts-always-looking-for-new-ways-to-masturbate?
...
The anti-trans paranoiacs call us groomers & pedophiles
But you ever wonder what on earth they’re teaching to their child?
“God is love” they preach, behind judgemental smiles
But He doesn’t make mistakes, the phobes say with confidence
Well then me being trans was EXACTLY God’s intent
My path in this life was to be born a girl
But to be thought of as a boy by the entire world
So my soul’s journey has been to uncover my Real Self
And if my body wasn’t designed to be accurate off the shelf
Then who the hell is anyone to question God’s decision?
To react to His creation with disgust and derision?
“But surgery is butchery!” they vociferate with gumption
But they’ll get eye glasses, or nose jobs, or take Viagara for their dick dysfunction
Anyway, I’ll defer to what Roger Waters said
“As I’ve always said, I prefer your lips red,
Not what the Good Lord made
But what He intended!”
…
So let me tell you a bit about my own experience
Before you tell me your fear-based doubtful sentiments
Unless you think there’s something wrong with people who are different?
You don’t need to treat me like I’m sick, or weird or strange,
Just because my body’s undergoing a specific change
That hasn’t happened to you (…..yet!!!)
...
And by God don’t tell me therapy’s what I need
When it’s been years of exactly that, that finally helped me see
What I had been repressing for my entire life
What has lurked in my unconscious, & created all that strife,
From the carved-up scars that were once left by my knife
To no doubt the fact things didn’t work out with people, like my wife
...
You know…just cuz you might not see the meaning in someone’s blahaj shark
Doesn’t make it any less meaningful than some belief in Noah’s ark
And what, should trans people spend their lives hiding in the dark?
Living lives of shame and loneliness and never feel the spark
of being loved for who they are, and opening their heart?
proudly moving in society, contributing their part?
...
And are we really so scary that you need to be protected?
Like if we piss in your washroom, you’re gonna get infected?
Or we’re sneaking a peak at your junk so that we can inspect it?
It’s trans people’s privacy that tends not to be respected….
Which is why we band together, cuz we know we’re not defective.
And we just want to be able to take a pee….without vigilante bathroom detectives!
…..
In truth, being trans has already cost tons of sacrifice
But I am so goddamn thankful this was MY roll of the dice
Because it has softened me and deepened me in the most delightful ways
And I’ve found acceptance by friends, family, the allies and the gays
I’ve met courageous people whose eyes shine like sun rays
And a feeling of simple joy is what accompanies my days
Cuz being trans is like discovering that you have superpowers
I’m a fucking x-man (pun intended!), and I do not plan to cower
I know that in the future, I ain’t getting many flowers
It’s kinda like playing euchre, never getting any bauers
Future lovers or not I have Clara, and I guess that makes me now hers
And you find you can handle rejection, when your own self-love towers
My emotional struggles, I find Estrogen now cures
And my eyes, hot damn!!!, they have a new allure
And it’s fun to feel confident, but also play demure
...
It’s possible, and it’s fine, if you want to make some changes
Everybody does as their life flows and rearranges
But trans people are discovering just how wide that range is
And the haters & the intolerant are really, the only dangers
...
Heck, I’m learning to biohack this flesh vessel!
Cyproterone & Estradiol are my mortar & my pestle
Crushing masculinity, releasing femininity
If I add progesterone, it’d be the Holy Trinity
And if religion don’t agree with me, I’ve found my own Divinity
With joy, & love, euphoria, there ain’t no way a sin it be
And if I’m destined for damnation? Into infinity??
Then I say bring it, bitch, cuz that’s where all my friends’ll be.
…
To me, being trans is beautiful, there’s nothing to be mourned
I don’t feel it like a death, I more feel like I’ve been reborn.
And, I cherish it. ❤️
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Zelink Week 2022, Day Four
Hello! This @zelinkweekofficial prompt was inspired by one of the first fanarts I got for this AU, made by the one and only Emiisley (on Instagram). Also by that scene at Pemberley from 2006 P&P because the Hercules ref is blatant.
Not so fun fact: I’m an art conservator. Some people do kiss statues, specially religious ones. I’ve removed lipstick from some. Eww.
Day four: Statue (I Won’t Say I’m in Love)
An excess.
That's what Zelda thought immediately after seeing the life size, extremely detailed and lifelike sculpture in front of her that was hidden in Queen Ajah's garden in the Gerudo Palace while she was attending a protocolar soirée.
The curls in perfect disarray.
That obnoxiously perfect pointy nose, so not Gerudo, and oh so Hylian.
The chiseled - pun intended - cheekbones and jaw that contrasted with the fullness and soft lines of the lips.
The rich textures and elegant folds on the suit it wore.
The reflexive expression in its eyes.
Everything in it screamed a likeness to the original that was almost uncanny. Zelda felt if she touched the sculpture, it would magically turn to flesh and bone.
She wouldn't know if to kiss him or kick his ass if that happened, though (maybe the latter wasn't a good idea if she was wearing a vaporous beige colored tulle party dress. Not that the former was better either. Any art conservator would murder her for leaving lipstick marks on marble!). Link had stopped answering her messages for good a long time ago - almost two years - and their relationship would definitely take a lot to mend.
Nabooru and Rutela, the former the daughter of the party host and the latter, the Zora Princess, simply observed her expression of almost offended shock, trying their best not to laugh at her.
"I can bet a Zora scale she would be less impressed if it were the real Link," Rutela commented with snark.
"I hope your mom didn't spend taxpayer money on this…" she pointed out to Nabooru, circling the sculpture with her right index finger.
Marble was definitely not a cheap sculpting material, but the artist clearly splurged on… scrumptiousness - a thought Zelda saved to herself.
"She didn't, Peaches," she eased her small friend's sort of concern. "Master Pikango offered his work for free when my mom told her who the subject was. She intends to bring it to the royal hall when he turns twenty-one next month, or he accepts his title of Son of the Desert Wind."
Zelda raised a quizzical brow. “And Link was willing to pose for this?”
“Do you actually know Linny as well as you think?” Rutela asked the tiny Hylian with snark.
“People change their minds, as much as they can change their appearance.” She shrugged, her puffed sleeves making the gesture more dramatic. “So he could…”
“Of course he didn’t,” Nabooru cleared out. “It’s just based on pictures of him, just like the portrait you saw in the hall.”
“Oh, that one.” Zelda saved another thought for herself, realizing Master Pikango certainly had done a good job - his lips looked as kissable as the real ones, but she’d rather be dead than say that out loud. “He looks sleepy instead of dreamy, not gonna lie.”
The Zora and Gerudo princesses laughed loudly, knowing Zelda was right in her description, and returned inside the palace.
The rest of the evening was as every formal party she had attended since she was thirteen: structured and boring, so she was dying to sneak out, waiting for the perfect chance to do so. She was fortunate to be able to hide easily thanks to the average size of most guests - these were the occasions she was thankful for being short.
Her steps led her to the Gerudo Queen’s garden once more, where she almost had a heart attack seeing a large shadow looming over her - just to realize it was just the lonely sculpture of Link.
“You’re just as quiet as the original,” she said to it, “but definitely on the pale side.” She laughed at her own bad joke.
Under the moonlight, she took another look at the depiction of her estranged friend. Every perfectly rendered detail in it evoked a deep heartache in her, for it reminded her of the indifference he had shown the last times they met before they had their bitter last conversation.
She leaned against the cold marble with a bittersweet smile, wrapping her arms around herself longingly.
Usually, her companion whenever she snuck out of the events at Hyrule Castle was always Link. They talked and fooled around like the kids they were. She loved that.
And still, despite everything that happened between them, she loved him.
She would never admit to others, lest to her inner circle, but she would make an exception for her unexpected, silent companion.
“I miss you so much.”
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Ey, he’s doing the same face Amity does!
This kinda goes back to something I talked about in Reaching Out, about how Amity is closer to her dad than her mother. They both use the same style of magic, but there’s more. Amity naturally has brown hair, like her dad and when she got to chose what color to dye it, she colored it abomination lilac. Her changing her hair color and style also symbolized her getting away from her mother’s control as she was made to look more like her mother (her old hairstyle looked a lot like Odalia’s… I can’t recall if I’ve pointed that out before).
Also, she has the same eye color as her dad and the eyes are the windows into the soul or whatever.
I’m not sure if Odalia actually gets what’s going on. Everyone includes you and your family, you know.
Ha! What did I tell you all? Alador can control all the abomatons. What are you gonna do Odalia, read their slimy palms?
Gosh darn it.
(if you look in the background, you can see Kikimora with the dome up on her Abomatron. Yet in the next shot, it’s down and then she closes it. I know it’s just an animation error… but I choose to believe that Kikimora hit the wrong button and lowered the dome between shots without meaning to. That’s about the level of competence we can expect from her)
Wha-?
H-how…? How long has… when… when did Luz learn to do that? How is she doing that? Is she like… tapping into the power of her palisman before it has even hatched, or…? Did flapjack sneak into her pocket while I wasnät looking…?
I am so confused right now.
(this is a fantastic screenshot. Luz is slamming into Willow like she was running around the playground without looking. Hunter is yawning. Oh, Kikimora’s trying to kill me? Must be a day that ends with ”y.” And then we have Gus, looking like he’s hyping himself up to throw some sick dance moves.)
You can now cross ”ä” off your Lampman Bingo card
It was at this moment Kiki knew. She done goofed up.
Holy shit! Willow looks absolutely demonic! No pun intended! What’s with these plant witches being terra-fying!? Kikimora’s even looking like she realizes how much trouble she’s in in this screenshot.
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Mentopolis Ep 3! We have life things so this is late but we press on
Freddie said the whole thing!
Just a damp damp man 😐
Once again. We need Stacy Fakename merch pls.
I love the wonkaness of Gobstopper Industries
IT MOVES
The heart being the Boston to the brain’s New York is interesting
Phrenology lmao
I slap him. I kiss him.
Hunch keeping so much stuff in his pants is such a Choice
I really think it’s a phone buzzing and not a sexy thing because Elias is so convinced he doesn’t deserve pleasure that I don’t he would do that
If not ___, ___? is such a great sequence I’m gonna rewatch that several times probably
Turn yourself in to who???
Every part of the brain can notice conscience but pleasure. Sometimes the dice do really cool things.
The Fix being vaguely southern always cracks me up
Conrad not wanting to say fucks aw
He’s the only one who can DRIVE
Bro WHAT
Hank why
Ooh yay psychometer info
This thing could alter thoughts. Ok.
Evillll
I love lengthy lore drops. I love them so much.
That wave is designed to create impulses maybe?
The editing is simultaneously really cool and gonna give me a headache
This thing erases color from the mind? Does it erase memory?
This boiling down to ‘has the government been corrupted by external capitalist forces or was the already corrupt government merely enabled by this capitalist presence’ is incredibly interesting
Cool! Very convenient!
OH the reflexive switchboard yay
F for freezer!
Hunch why do you wanna see Anastasia’s apartment
Trapp is so great I don’t think I’ve appreciated him enough
I think killing the conscience will probably not save the life of someone who has been thrown out of a window
Hank what
“It’s about what happens when you’re the next age” I’m gonna cry?
What
Babe what
(a ballad of balls on tracks)
Oooh does the Fucks family also have keys
(everyone getting a kick out of the foot fetish joke)
Hank jostling Freddie because he’s so delighted <3
Splitting the partyyyyyy
fLiGhT 😉
Uncle Hunch and Uncle Fucks 🥲
Dome!
So many hats!
Imelda Pulse supportive cousin of the year <3
The cops. Great.
Something that ladies wear … …
Imelda Pulse coat rack of the year <3
Oh nooo
She’s just sooo estranged from her faaaamily she doesn’t know her cousiiiins
The commitment Siobhan has keeping her arms like that for the whole scene
The Police 😐
Incredible sneak skills
Threw a robe over her trench coat I’m dead
Yeah a newspaperwoman would have to get pretty good at lying lol
Iconic trio
Why is he the only one who can drive 😭
He really just lives to make people uncomfortable
Oooh d20 explosion
Why does he drive like that
BRENNAN WHY IS THAT YOUR DEFAULT ROCK
Put that tongue back in your mouth SIR.
(group trying to hold back laughter to keep it tense…)
(and failing)
The word fight is losing all meaning
I was gonna say Gilear energy but he’s honestly more confident than Gilear.
Self doubt is so strong and dominance is so weak.
I feel like dominance being weak is a trick tho. It feels too simple.
Also. Self Doubt isn’t even a pun of any kind his name is just straight up his job.
I just was busy.
Why is fight russian
Conrad is so sassy today
IVANA POPOV
What
The fuck just happened
The poor Fakename family
Box of Doom!!
The one thing that always bugs me is the box is never level and I don’t know if that affects how the die rolls
What a power
YEAH BABY
How are the fakenames even a family. What concept are they.
Dice are cool
One of those inflatable clowns that are weighted at the bottom so they bounce up whenever you hit them
(the crowd goes wild for Stacy Fakename)
I love character feats!
Flight was in control when Elias got hurt. Interesting.
I love how Hunch just has cartoon logic
I also forget that I’m playing and not just watching a story sometimes
You like my facts right?
FACT ALERT
PELICAN FACT ALERT
Oh god
Hank leaning into being intimidating is so good to watch
Man. Okay.
Oh that’s so cool. Focusing on breathing lowers the pressure. That’s so good.
What are you close to achieving
That’s SO fucked up
What
Who are you
What
Is this fucking adderall or something
Probably the psychometer. But it would be an interesting take for it to be meds lol.
BRENNAN.
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Um think this is question 4 for supernatural. Deities knows.
Fuck what was I gonna ask. Fuuuuuuuccccckk.
.
.
.
Destiny!
No autocorrect. Destiel.
What do you think about Destiel?
I am, definitely, not the person to ask this of, but sure, lets goooooooo.
The Relationship through the Seasons
There are a lot of minute details that show up throughout the seasons, little looks here and there, offhand comments with deeper meanings, the wonderful queerbaiting eye-fucking, but for this, we’re going to go on both my thoughts and what the scenes can portray.
So, we start with the beginning really. Dean and Castiel have romantic subtext as a part of their interactions since Castiel’s introduction at the start of Season 4, especially when paralleling Sam's relationships with Meg (I believe at the time) with the sneaking out and the secretive nature of both. However, unlike Sam’s relationship nothing explicit happened in the audience view.
Interestingly, we do get a lot of, what I’d call ‘background’ for the relationship. In 4.14 the Siren episode, it is clear from the male siren, and Dean’s own words of Sirens being creatures who attract men by turning into “whatever floats they guys boat”, that Nick Munroe is that which is attractive to Dean. The episode does play it off by linking similarities to Sam, but the mythology behind sirens (in general, lets not try and figure out fish legs or bird bodies honestly) is inherently sexual, seen in a later scene when Nick makes the brothers fight with the promise of “whoever survives can be with me forever” which in no way is straight or platonic.
Season 4 is also where we learn a lot about angels in general. Castiel, as an angel, is “about the size of your Chrysler building” and as all angels are, “junkless”. Multiple angels in the series flip between both male and female vessels, Castiel included for a single episode, but nevertheless, Castiel often inhabits a male vessel (when an angel). With his appearance in the show, Cas is canonically a virgin, to the point of actual confusion to arousing stimuli, however, as the seasons progress, Cas gains an understanding of romantic and sexual desire; often to women (Hannah, Meg, April, kina Nora but not really).
Interestingly, as I bring it up, season 4 is somewhat the time of learning to understand who you once were and who you could possibly be.
Two lines strike out in favour of Destiel, specifically in favour of it.
"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition"
We all know this one, and I’m probably certain it’s been analyzed to hell and back (hah puns), but from my view this opens up a reciprocity between the two, not an ideal way to start being ‘in debt’, but well, better than others. In this, of course, Castiel doesn’t mean to make it as a deal, he’s more or less stating a fact, instantly contradicting Dean’s thoughts of worthlessness and his unsaveable nature(1.16 and the interesting line “I know I’m a freak and sooner or later everyone else is going to know it too” while a shapeshifter wore Dean’s face / 3.10 in which Nightmare!Dean says “I know how dead you are inside, how worthless you feel…. Your own father didn’t care whether you lived or died, why should you?”), but these feelings are counteracted with their meeting, ‘I am an angel of the Lord’ really is a shock to the system when really not believing in the good for the last 3 seasons.
Later in this season, however, we get the interesting line from the angel Uriel; "Castiel? Uh... he's not here. You see, he has this weakness. He likes you."
This is straight to the face, he likes you. Sure, at the time he’s more in a state of “fond of charge” probably, but for an ‘unfeeling’ angel to be ‘fond’ that… there’s a lot of oomph power there.
Season 5 is when Dean’s platonic affection for Cas shows up (And Cas’ fondness becomes more clear), notably we have the statement from Cas, “And I did it all, all of it, for you.” Now this is more about them as a whole I’d believe, but the way it is worded is in itself a love confession, is it not? But to Dean, he’s beginning to definitely see Cas as a form of family, and not a platonic kind surely, as he makes a joke, 5.3, about two women (Thelma and Louise) kissing refering back to themselves.
By Season 6, the fondness that Cas holds for Dean can be seen in wanting to let him lead his own human life rather that get him wrapped up in heaven’s politics, which, of course, causes the whole leviathan problem later because of some strange plotline that my head refuses to remember but I do recall that happening, so there is that. We also see, once again, it’s not just the audience picking up on interactions here, as Balthazar describes Castiel to Dean as “the one in the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you.” Season 6 ends with Destiel with a very significant moment, Dean collecting the bloody trench coat that flowed towards him in the water, the only remaining piece of Castiel. Dean picks it up folds it, and keeps it. This is an interesting parallel to widows of soldiers who die in line of service and recieve the flag as an honour to their husbands' sacrifice. Dean also keeps it nearby in a multitude of different cars as we go into Season 7 until he can return the coat.
Season 7 doesn't have much Cas/Dean moments honestly, but there are still significant moments, like the returning of the coat, the amnesia Cas trusting Dean instantly, and finally, when he gets his memory back that he remembers Dean, and everything that happened. Dean's own character has shown to have changed, specifically with this scene and how he regards Cas the same as he would his brother, "If you remember, then you know you did the best you could at the time." No matter what, however, Cas is full of guilt, even saying "I deserved to die. Now, I can’t possibly fix it… So why did I even walk out of that river?" But Dean refused to give up, telling Cas that coming back was his choice to fix it. This scene is one out of many that shows that Dean will fight for Cas and their family, as that is what he considers Cas to be. Dean's never really done long term relationships, the only people that stick around long enough are firmly set into the "Family” category in his mind, out of "Enemy" and "Friend" and "Stranger". This season also introdced an interesting concept from Hester, an angel from Castiel's garrison, who tells Dean "When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!" which, if an angel falls when there is too much emotion and whatnot, just merely touching Dean managed to flood Cas with emotion and love(?), probably without any idea what had happened to him when he did so.
At the end of Season 7 we end up in Purgatory, something intrinsically important to Season 8. Through flashbacks, we see Dean searching for Cas in a literal hellscape and praying every night, and when they do find eachother, Dean’s relief and joy are clear to see, despite Cas having been trying to stay away to keep Dean safe, and then when Cas chose to stay behind in Purgatory, Dean’s memories are distorted from the even in his own distress, he believes he failed Cas. When Cas does in fact return, 8.7, Dean yells at him for staying behind, “‘Look, I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I’ve failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don’t need it!” Everyone he cares about he fails and thus we have Dean entering the paradox of failed love; he failed Cas, meaning he cares about him (read Love if you want), but he cares for Cas, meaning he failed him. For Dean, destiny has dictated if he loves someone, if he cares, he will fail them. Which, considering the life he has led and how many people he has watched die, is actually possibly true.
By mid season 8, we get the interesting “He was my gay thing” episode, with Aaron. Of course, in the episode, the flirtation is a diversion tactic, but Dean doesn’t know this when interacting with Aaron, and in the bar, Dean acts genuinely interested (or possibly shocked, could be read both ways), but with the interesting take, Aaron looks out of his depth. It is a romantic comedy kind of flustered that Dean is taken with at the scene, as said by Ben Edlund and Phil Sgriccia who did a commentary over the scene also further saying, jokingly based on their tone, that the two could have come together, where this was a potential with the hard life that Dean had lived and the idea that ‘wow someone likes me.’ Of course, in the scene where its revealed that Dean wasn’t actually being flirted with, he’s quite flustered and seemingly affected, though he does manage to say “It was really good. You really had me there. It was very smooth” as if he had faced rejection in a way. (Which it kinda was)
8.17 shows up not long after, Castiel having been reprogramed to be able to kill Dean, however, you know what stopped him? Dean echoing back what he said in purgatory, a declaration (of love) strong enough to break through the brainwashing. I need you.
The need is repeated in Season 9's first episode prayer to Castiel, "I know you think that I’m pissed at you, OK? But I don’t care that the angels fell. Whatever you did, or didn’t do, it doesn’t matter, OK? We’ll work it out. Please, man, I need you here.” Dean later also refuses to give up Cas even to save him or his brother, something he would have never done in the past (considering Sam is family and family is everything to Dean). Of course, Season 9 is also when we get the tiktok viral video of Abbadon grabbing Dean and saying, “So obedient, and suicidally stupid. I like that too.” To which Dean responds with “Are we gonna fight or make out, cause I’m getting some mixed signals here?” (cough - bottom - cough) -- 9.6 Cas has a date, and Dean doesn't look happy about it. In fact, we get a romantic cliche “Cas, wait. I can’t let you do this.” Cas closes the door, stares up at Dean and says, “What?” Dean says, “You’re gonna wear that, on a date?”. Now, ok, not exactly romantic, but "I can't let you do this" very much is, especially when confessing love to prevent love interest from leaving/marrying someone/dating. Of course, Dean tells Cas to lose the vest. Cas takes it off. Then Dean says, “And why don’t you unbutton it.” Cas starts unbuttoning his shirt. Dean says, “Alright, that’s enough Tony Manero.” Dean grins and looks down at Cas’s chest. Which, to the younger audience, Tony Manero (the flim) is 1) deliberately provocative 2) as challenging and compelling as it is difficult to describe.
This season honestly has more Dean/Crowley than Dean/Cas, but Metatron states and hints, quite a few times, about the relationship. He specifies that Castiel’s goal was to “save Dean” but also that Cas was Dean’s “Boy Toy” (though this was the illusion of Gabriel that Metatron created) and Metatron makes many references to queer or queer coded characters such as Sherlock, the erotic poem by Muriel Rukeyser, and the 'subtext' of a story making the story work [interestingy, the last time subtext was referenced was 5.9 in which two cosplayers (one sam, one dean) came out as a gay couple]. Metatron even states that he left Cas humant because he "was hoping [Cas] would live happily ever after, but he screwed that up too.” Then, damningly almost, in 9.22, Metatron states that "after a rousing speech, his true weakness is revealed: He’s in love. With humanity.” Although, in the scene, it's clearly Dean who was just saved by Castiel, one specific aspect of humanity one may say.
Season 10 I am going over quickly as I’m probably overwriting at this point, we get the fun “Fanfiction” episode, 10.5, which strongly acknowledges the Destiel within the series “Supernatural” by Chuck Shurley. We also get Dean referring to Sam and Castiel as “the people who love me.” within the season.
Really, nothing is going to stand out in the next 4 seasons other than basically strengthening the bonds and becoming fathers together, with their weirdly shaped family that we love. But, the fact that Castiel loves Dean is repeatedly affirmed in canon, not just through inference, but direct, unequivocal statements.
But, then we get Season 15, episode 18 in specific. You can all tell where I’m going with this.
To save the life of Dean one last time, Castiel sacrifices his own to the Shadow. It was a promise for when Cas exerienced a moment of true happiness the Shadow would come, but he figured it out in that moment. He confesses, tells dean that everything Dean has done has been for love, that Dean is the most selfless, loving human he will ever know, that he changed him, and goodbye. He tells him I love you, tears streaming down his face. Many watch Dean's confusion, the anguish, the shock. It's too late for Dean to react, but Cas has saved him, saved the man he loved. The ending scene is Dean ignoring a phone call from Sam as he sobs.
The Actors
Here’s where I’m going to pause and take a step back. Jensen Ackles doesn’t support the ship, however he did state that at the time of Cas’ confession he played Dean’s character open to interpretation as Dean ‘was in shock’, of course, the Latin American Dub has Dean saying he loves Cas back. But in the English, this doesn’t happen. Jensen has also stated that most of Dean's reaction in that scene was removed in editing and with it more ambiguity is given to the situation. Now, Jensen has repeatedly said at conventions that he never played Dean as bi or gay, however, Jensen also says in an interview with TV Week that Dean may have been a prostitute/hooker for a time [Q: Are the guys still mainly living on stolen credit cards and so forth? A: For the most part, yeah. Dean’s a bit of a pool shark and also a bit of a gambler. It doesn’t really show it all the time, but it’s definitely implied that there are poker games and pool matches that they can win some money on. And who knows? Dean’s a promiscuous kind of guy. Who knows how he drums up the funds that they use?]
Respecting Jensen’s thoughts on this, my take in understanding how this may be played out could be that, Castiel loves Dean, and supposedly, by the amount of timesit's been referenced to his face, Dean knows it as well, but at the same time there are plenty of different types of love. What Dean may look on as Stroge or Pragma (Familiar and Enduring), Castial may see as Philia and Eros (Affectionate and Romantic).
Personally
I think the ship works for the characters. There is a distinct queer coding that is applied through many of their scenes, and especially to Dean’s character and his (bi)sexuality. I’ve read plenty of fics, seen plenty of edits, and yeah, tis a good pairing, possibly the best one that Dean could work with.
Castiel – “I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want, it's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it.”
Dean – “What are you talking about, man?”
Castiel – “I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're “daddy's blunt instrument.” And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.”
Dean – “Why does this sound like a goodbye?”
Castiel – “Because it is. I love you.”
Dean – “Don't do this, Cas.”
Castiel – “Goodbye, Dean.”
#castiel#destiel#deancas#dean winchester#supernatural#spnfandom#spn#spn spoilers#jensen ackles#misha collins#ask me questions
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Good morning!!!! Hope this ask finds you well!
Tell me, what are yo ur favourite things about mornings with Vash? 🥰💜💜
It found me asleep and then at work but I can finally talk about it now 😭 I feel like this might be long, and probably get nsfw, so I think I’m just gonna put it under a cut now
Favorite things about mornings with Vash… Well, waking up with him, first of all. He’s always either up before me or waking up at the same time I am. I can never really convince him to stay in bed longer than me. If I’m up, he’s up. But I can game the system if we don’t have anything else to do and get extra cuddle/rest time with him. He doesn’t rest nearly enough so if I can sneak some more in for him, I def do. Even if I kinda have to pee ;w; morning cuddles are worth it. Blearily readjusting and falling back asleep together is >>>>> so good!
My favorite way to wake up, or be woken up by him (he’s almost always up before me tbh), is when he’s needy and can’t keep his hands to himself. He likes watching me sleep; it’s easy for him to do on the nights he falls asleep with his head on my chest. He like hearing me breathe. Listening to my heart. He just gets that adoration in him and the urge to feel me, you know? He has full permission. Sometimes I’ll wake up to his mouth on my tits. Sometimes it’s when he’s opening my legs up to settle between them, whether to rub featherlight circles into my clit with his thumb or slick me up with his tongue. And then there’s days where I’m so out cold that I don’t rouse to anything until I’m on the verge of cumming to the gentle push and pull of his cock inside me.
And when I say gentle, I mean he might as well be torturing himself, going so slowly and moving so carefully, cuz he doesn’t actually want to wake me up- he wants me to sleep as much as I need- but he still wants that connection with me. That’s my favorite way to wake up tbh. With him holding himself back so much, he’s whisper-begging me to wake up cuz he can’t be selfish enough to just cum on his own. It’s honestly the cutest fucking thing. And makes me feel really loved <33
Breakfast with him is always fun too though! Cooking together. He’s always finding ways to make me laugh, just being goofy or with breakfast puns for whatever we’re eating. Just experiencing the morning sillies with him is the best. Makes waking up waaaay nicer. Like I’m always happy to wake up and spend my mornings with him. And always so many kisses. Like sooooooo many.
Morning bubble baths are def a fave. There’s not always time but oof, bubble baths where we can just relax and enjoy each other’s closeness are the best. I may or may not be guilty of falling back asleep lounging on his chest >.> it’s just too soothing and peaceful. He gives me the warmest smiles when I wake up from those lil naps. He’s super careful about getting my hair wet too. It’s too sweet for me to tell him that using his wet fingers to sweep my baby hairs off the back of my neck is just as bad lol he does figure it out eventually when he sees me trying to tame them while styling but I tell him not to stop anyway cuz it means more that he does it compared to spending a lil extra time getting them where I want. He still tries to be a lil more conscious though of keeping one hand at least kinda dry, my thoughtful boy ☺️
So, overall, my favorite morning moments with him are the soft ones where we can just enjoy each other to the fullest, where we can just be soft and sweet and silly <33
#this is really so all over the place#I wrote this on and off while wandering around work bored out of my mind#but thank you for asking 🥺#cw.somno#color: red 🎨#m34gs ❤️#{freelance}#vluesh 💟☮️
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