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dangerouslcve · 4 years

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Unforgiven - Taron Egerton

Pairing: Taron Egerton x reader

Warnings: None.

Summary: There is something so achingly familiar about Taron Egerton. He captures your attention from the moment you see him at Rada, your new acting school. He is the one bright spot in a place where people are constantly judged, the students and staff are rude, and security cameras watch your every move.

Except Taron wants nothing to do with you- he goes out of his way to make that very clear. But you can't ignore nor shake the feeling that you know him. You were being drawn to like a moth to a flame. You need to find out what Taron is so desperate to hide, even if it shatters you...

Read previous chapters on Wattpad @ kayegerton

Disclaimer: I do not know what college is like.. Yet. But I did some intense googling. This story is for entertainment purposes only, it is considered an AU. With that being said, hope you enjoy the story.

Chapter Twelve - Small Confessions

You stood from your chair in Bliss feeling much better than you did two days ago. You had not spoken with Taron since he came to visit you and ordered you to not trust Zane or speak to him. You felt weak with the unfairness of it all, Zane was innocent and didn't deserve to be treated like a criminal the way Taron was painting him out to be with you. You would continue to trust Zane because he was your friend and it was your fault for forcing him to take you back to the school so if Taron should be yelling at someone it should be you. When you saw him last night gathering his things from the stage you wanted to so badly tell him about the dreams but that would just make him think you were odd. Those dreams of a house party during Christmas and being in a car during a brutal winter storm kept coming back to haunt you every night and every night Taron was the boy who you were with in the dreams. He was younger but handsome as ever with his hair slicked back as he wore a black sweater in your dreams. He was so kind and loving towards you in the dreams and it made you want to stay in them forever.

Following the kids out of the theater in a single file heading back to the dorms you felt an arm loop around your waist pulling you back away from everyone.

Taron?

But no, it was the one and only Cam. His blue eyes searched yours and seemed to pick up on the disappointment, which only made you feel worse. You bit your lip to keep from dissolving into a sob, seeing cam shouldn't make you want to cry but you were so emotionally drained, teetering on the brink of collapsing. You bit so hard you felt the metallic taste of blood in your mouth making you wipe your mouth.

"Hey," he said in a soft tone smoothing the side of your head making you wince. You still had a bump on the side of your head from where you had slammed your head on the dash in the car. "Do you want to go somewhere and talk?"

You and Cam were walking along with others across the grass toward the back doors of Rada. He led you inside where most of the students in Group A were celebrating their victory from a couple months back. You were utterly confused as to why they were celebrating a win that was a couple months back, they were seriously behind with their time for celebrating but you weren't complaining because the food laid out in the lunch room looked amazing and Cam led you right to the small bar area with water and punch. It was a pathetic little celebration and some of the students only came in to get away from the dorms we were stuck in. You spotted Emily in a black biker jacket that matched her jeans, shaking hands with a new teacher. Taron was on the other side of the room looking away from them all whispering something to Olivia. When you turned back to Cam his finger dragged lightly up your collar bone and stopped at the hollow of your neck. You inhaled feeling goosebumps rise on your skin.

"If you don't like the necklace," he said leaning into you "I can get you something else?" his lips were so close to brushing your neck that you had to press a hand to his shoulder and step back.

"I do like it." you say truthfully, it was a thoughtful get well gift that he sent to the hospital you just wished he could have gave it to you in person during the visiting hours. The beautiful velvet box that held the diamond necklace ended up on your desk sitting beside the vase of Taron's flowers he had sent you and you had spent half the night looking back and forth between the two gifts weighing the intentions behind them. Cam had been much easier to figure out but Taron it was like trying to figure out a very complicated math problem that would take an hour to find a single proof. "I think the necklace is great I just haven't had the chance to wear it is all." you tell cam.

"I'm sorry," he says to you pursing his lips. "I shouldn't press you." his hair was slicked back showing more of his face than usual. It made him look older than he was and more mature and the way he was looking at you with his intense gaze made you speechless. His blue eyes staring into yours like he was approving of everything you held inside. "Florence said we should give you space for a couple of days... I know she's right, you have been through so much but you should know I thought about you. All the time. I needed to see you." he stroked your cheek with the back of his hand and you felt the tears welling up. You had no luck with cars and that accident was just one more thing to prove you didn't. The dreams you are having that are so vivid and wont go away, you had all this bottled up and no one to tell. You just had to push it down. It was like Cam could sense this because he folded you into his arms pressing your head against his strong broad chest rocking you back and forth. "Your okay," he assures "Your going to be okay. Your strong." it felt so good to be held.

You didn't know how to pull away from him, he had always been so kind to you and you did like him... Yet for some reason that made you feel extremely guilty. He was kind of beginning to annoy you, he was so perfect, and helpful, and exactly the support you needed right now after the accident it's just... He wasn't... He wasn't Taron.

A cupcake appeared over your shoulder and you recognized the manicured hand immediately. "There is punch over there that needs drinking." Olivia says as you pull away taking a cupcake from her as she hands cam a cupcake too. He glared at her but Olivia ignores him looking over at you. "You okay?" she asks asking genuinely concerned. You nodded for the first time Olivia popped up exactly when you wanted saving. You both smiled at each other raising the cupcakes up in a cheers manner before you take a small bite.

"Punch sounds great," Cam says through gritted teeth "Why don't you give us a few glasses Olivia." Olivia rolls her eyes at you with a scoff.

"Do a lad one favor and he will start treating you like a slave." You laughed, Cam was out of line but it was obvious what he wanted to do.

"I will get the drinks." you say placing the cupcake down on the table making your way to the table of punch ready for a breath of fresh air. You were just about to dip yourself a drink when someone whispered in your ear.

"You want to get out of here?"

You turned around ready to make up some excuse for Cam that no you would not leave with him, not now and not with him. But it wasn't Cam who reached out to touch the base of your wrist with his thumb.

It was Taron.

You melted a little. You were supposed to head back to your room to give Richard and Allie in less than 6 minutes. But get out of here? with Taron? you found yourself nodding. Cam was going to hate you if he saw you leave with someone other than him and he would see, he would be watching you. But of course you had to go. You slipped your hand inside Taron's and he smiled. "Please."

All the other times you touched it was by accident or one of you had jerked away. Mostly Taron. But not this time, you looked down at Taron's hand holding fast to yours giving it a gentle squeeze and your body wanted more. More of the heat, more of the tingling, more of Taron. You could hardly feel your feet moving just the flow of his touch taking over. It was as if you blinked and you were by the woods that Taron had took you to last time. Taron stopped suddenly and without warning dropping your hand making you shiver. The warmth gone.

"You and Cam," he begins letting the words hang in the air for a moment as he searches for the right words. "You spend a lot of time together?"

"Sounds like your not very fond of the idea." you say raising an eyebrow instantly feeling like a moron for playing coy. You only wanted to tease him for sounding jealous but his face and tone are serious.

"He's not-" Taron started to say and you closed your eyes waiting for the response you always here. "He's not good for you."

There it is. It was what everyone said. Not good enough. He's not good enough for you, stay away from some of the boys here. It was beginning to sound like a broken record.

"Well then," you say in a quiet voice trying to hide the fact you were annoyed. "Who is?" Taron puts his hand on his hips and laughed to himself. For a long time.

"I don't know, That's a great question." Not the answer you were searching for.

"It's not like its hard." you say stuffing your hands in your pockets on your sweatshirt because you so badly wanted to reach out for him. "To be good enough for me." his eyes darkened, he looked like he was dealing with something painful.

"Yes." he said all the laughter gone. "Yes it is." he seemed more unsettled by the whole who is better for you than you were. Which was surprising, it was just a chat about you and cam.

"I told you I haven't seen her." Charlotte said as they were shrugging off Cam's hand as they made it closer to where you and Taron stood.

"Lets go." Taron said sensing everything you felt before you sent him a nervous look. You knew where you were going as soon as you entered the woods. Just like you had known about why Olivia pops up before you even saw her. You both walked at the same pace with steps just the same length. Your feet hit the grass at the same time, every time, until they reached the opening.

"If you come to a place with the same person," Taron said almost to himself "I guess it isn't yours alone anymore."

You blush when you realize Taron was saying that he had never taken anyone to the pond before. It was just you. You felt a little proud knowing that. He led you to the small pond deck on the water and you kick off your shoes sitting down on the chilled wood beneath you dipping your feet into the cold water. Taron sits down next to you throwing rocks in he picked up along the way.

He looked at you "You ever think about getting out of here-"

"All the time." you groan assuming he meant he did too. Of course you wanted to leave Rada, you missed Richard and Allie they always knew how to make you laugh. You missed your cat and your room how you used to decorate it for all the holidays especially Christmas.

"No." he says, "I mean have you ever considered going somewhere else? Asking your parents for a transfer. Rada doesn't seem like the best fit for you." you hug your knees resting your chin on one sighing. You couldn't help but feel insulted by his questions.

"I can't afford the luxuries of going somewhere different. Rada is pretty much the last ditch effort for me I guess."

"Come on." he says and you shake your head.

"You wouldn't know-"

"I would." he said with a sigh "there is always another stop Y/n."

"That is very prophetic Taron." you snap, you felt your voice rising. "But since your so interested in getting rid of me. What are we doing right now? No one even asked you to drag me out here to spend time with only for you to want to get rid of me. But that's nothing new."

"No." he said "Your right. I just meant that your not like people here. There's gotta be another place for you." your heart was beating quickly this whole conversation was making you upset. You stop hugging your knees and sit up straight.

"When I came here," you said clearing your throat. "I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't tell anyone about my past. What I remember of it at least." Taron dropped his head into his hands.

"What I'm talking about has nothing to do with that accident-"

"You know about that?" you heart sank into your stomach and he scoffs. How could he know? "Whatever Charlotte told you-" but you knew it was to late. He probably already thought you were a idiot who couldn't even remember the simple things.

"Listen," he says grabbing your hands, "What I'm saying, it has nothing to do with that part of your past." you found that hard to believe.

"Then does it have to do with Zane?" you ask curiously and he shakes his head.

"It has to do with a place. It has to do with things...." his touch jostled something deeply hidden in your mind. Something that had not been messed with until now and it frightened you. The dreams... You had the sudden urge to to tell him about everything that happened in your dreams because they are so real its almost like you have lived it before.

"Maybe it has to do with these dreams I keep having of me being in a car with...a boy and its winter time." you said hoping to shock him. But as soon as you said the words you knew your intent was not to scare Taron it was to finally tell someone...

"What did you say?" he asked slowly.

"Oh you know," you shrug trying to downplay the dreams. "Ever since the accident with Zane I have been having these vivid dreams every night you... and I in a brutal winter storm."

"Don't be cute." Taron said curtly and you sigh. His tone stung but it was true why be cute about something that's been happening every night and never leaving your mind. Would he believe you? he was nodding for you to go on, his eyes seeming to reach out and pull the words from you.

"It's happened since I came here." You finally admit with a shudder. "They used to happen every now in then but now... Now its practically non stop. Like my mind is trying to tell me something." you were shaking terrified of his reaction.

"What happens in them?"

"Well first you and I are inside at a party and then we are out in the cold winter air and when we are in the car we talk about schools and you comfort me by placing your hand on my knee," you hesitantly place a hand on his knee and he doesn't flinch he just stares at you tears in his eyes. "I remember in the dreams I put my hand on yours fearing something terrible may happen and then I feel a jolt." you shove him to show him how it feels and he falls back causing you to tumble on top of him your faces inches apart. Taron was flat on his back looking at you with wide eyes. "And I wake up... It's so real its almost like I lived it before." your heart was racing but then you realized you were feeling both his heart and yours, racing each other a kind of desperate conversation you and him couldn't have with words.

"You really have them?" he questions desperately in a low whisper.

"Yes." you mumble and you notice his lips part as he starts to lean forward slowly before shaking his head pushing himself out from under you standing up. You sigh trying to do your best to hide the blush that was on your cheeks. Your eyes travel from his feet, to his legs, to his torso all the way up to his face which was staring at the sky.

"This has never happened before." he said taking a deep breath looking back down at you. You got to your feet, it was humiliating lying on the deck alone looking like a complete fool. Plus it was like he didn't even hear you.

"What's never? Before what?" you ask with confusion he turned to you and cupped your face with his hands. You held your breath. He was so close...His lips so close to yours... You had to pinch yourself to make sure this wasn't a dream. It was real. He almost had to forcefully pull himself away as he looks away his breathing quickening.

"Tell me again about the dream."

You stare at him for a moment. "I mean it may comes as a shocker but I really don't want to explain all the many reasons why I'm probably insane for having these dreams." especially to you. Taron didn't answer but you could feel his eyes on you. When you finally got the courage to glance at him you saw he was giving you a strange, mournful look. One in which the corner of his eyes turned down. It was the saddest thing you had ever seen.

He stepped toward you and leaned down slowly until his eyes were gazing directly into yours. You almost couldn't take it but you couldn't move you were stuck to your spot awaiting his next move. Time seemed to stand still and everything around you felt like it was moving slower than it was. Whatever happened to break this trance was entirely up to Taron and he was moving closer still, his head tilted towards yours and his eyes closed, lips parted. Your breath caught in your throat at the sight as your eyes flutter shut, tilting your head toward his your lips parted. You waited.

And waited.

The kiss you had been dying to share with him from the first moment you met him. You opened your eyes because nothing happened, nothing except the sound of rustling branches. Taron was gone. You sighed, crestfallen but not surprised.

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monstersdownthepath · 4 years

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Spiritual Spotlight: Groetus, God of the End Times

Chaotic Neutral God of Oblivion, Empty Places, and Ruins

Domains: Chaos, Darkness, Destruction, Madness, Void Subdomains: Catastrophe, Entropy, Insanity, Loss, Night, Stars, Truth

Inner Sea Faiths, pg. 46~51

Obedience: Preach of the coming end times to a listener who has not yet accepted this truth. If the person leaves or otherwise refuses to listen to you for the full hour, you must find another person to preach to so that you are proselytizing the entire time. Alternatively, if no one at all is available to listen, spend an hour contemplating ways and times the world might end—do so in an empty place where nothing lives and no person except Groetan worshipers have been for at least a month. While you contemplate, deface any surface available to you with unholy images and symbols, such as a skull-like moon. Benefit: You gain a +1 sacred or profane bonus on Will saving throws.

the sad part is that pretty much every god in inner sea faiths is like this. First Ghlaunder and now THIS! Paizo was scared of Deific Obedience when it was first written, and it shows!

God you really are just tasked with being an annoying doomsayer for an hour, huh? Standing around with a sandwich board that reads THE END IS NIGH every single day you want your god’s blessing. You can easily get away with just preaching to your party every day, provided they don’t mind listening to this crazy babble... and, of course, provided that the end of the world isn’t actually coming, or else your evangelism will come off as tasteless. But, what do you care? You’ve been saying it all this time! It’s likely going to get you punched in the face or even mauled by a crowd if you try it in the middle of a city currently undergoing a crisis (as cities in Pathfinder are wont to do), though. So, uh, be careful.

This is one of the rare Obediences where the primary method is actually easier to do than the secondary, because it specifically demands that you find somewhere “nothing lives.” While a merciful DM may allow you to share a space with vermin, this does mean you can’t simply find a quiet area in a woodlands, because trees, brush, and grass all count. Stick to the cities or in ruined civilizations! Ironically, this means that being captured and thrown in a dungeon is actually beneficial for you, provided no one else has been locked in that specific cell for more than a month.

All this hard work for a measly +1 though. I’m insulted, honestly; it’s a universal bonus to the most important saving throw you have and it stacks with everything, but it’s only a +1! It would have been fine at +2! Come on, Groetus, shell a bit more out to your flock!

Boons are acquired slowly: the first once you reach 12 hit dice, the second at 16, and the third at 20. However, the Evangelist, Exalted, and Sentinel Prestige Classes can be entered as early as level 5; doing so grants you the Boons at levels 8, 11, and 14 instead. As Groetus is a true deity and does not require Fiendish Obedience, you earn the right to enter the classes earlier than those who serve fiends!

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EVANGELIST

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Boon 1: Doomsayer. Gain Doom 3/day, Augury 2/day, or Bestow Curse 1/day.

Oooh, Bestow Curse! That’s always fun to see! It’s a Save-Or-Suck that keeps on s--being terrible long after the battle has ended, if the enemy you slap with it gets away! It’s ALSO a touch spell entirely negated by a save, and we all know how I feel about those. Better make sure it sticks and sticks hard, or drawing into an enemy’s melee range can earn you a pretty severe slapping.

Augury is decent to have as a spell-like (I’d never prepare it as an actual spell), though its limited gaze of only 30 minutes into the future is an equal blessing and bane and it relies entirely on DM fiat... AND there’s a non-negligible chance it simply won’t work! Which means that if you don’t want to rely on the Save or Suck of Bestow Curse, your best bet (eugh) is the tragically weak and ironically ominous Doom--WAIT THAT’S RIGHT I ALMOST FORGOT! The Shaken condition also imposes a -2 to saving throws! Ok yeah, if you don’t want to rely on BC, Doom is a pretty good way to go if you have some way to bolster its pathetic saving throw of 11+Cha mod.

Boon 2: Consume Essence. 1/day, you may touch a corpse. That corpse must make a Fortitude save (DC 10 + 1/2 your HD + your Cha mod) or be reduced to dust as per Disintegrate. You gain 1d8 temporary HP, which last for a number of hours equal to your Hit Dice.

Before we get into the rest of this mess, I just really need to point out that an unattended, nonmagical object is not able to make saving throws, and a corpse is an object. ThereFOR, it should not even get to make a save against this ability!

What stats do you even use for it? The former creature? Because that’s just unnecessarily confusing, especially if you use it on the corpse of a long-dead creature. I really, really don’t see why this ability should allow a save, especially since A) it’s only usable once a day and B) it’s incredibly weak. Under what circumstances would you use this? Because I’ll tell you right now, using this against a baddie that’s supposed to be recurring will simply make the DM contrive a reason for them to come back anyway. Turning them to ash will just make it harder. I suppose there is a niche use in bringing it against creatures who can reanimate themselves, or against casters who may have Contingencies in place, but

but still, like. It’s a bad Boon. If you want a body destroyed, hacking it to pieces or burning it is just as easy, all this ability does is save you time. And maybe not even then! Because it gives the body a saving throw! For WHATEVER reason! And you only get to do it ONCE a day! Honestly, everything about this ability is just a progressively more insulting middle finger, all leading up to the pitiful 1d8 HP you get. There’s a lot of Boons that are straight up bad or useless, but I think this is the first one I’ve actually hated. Lets move on...

Boon 3: Whispers of Insanity. 1/day as a standard action, you may whisper Groetus’ Truth into the mind of a creature within 30ft. This acts as the Insanity spell, but the save DC is 10+1/2 your HD+your Cha mod. In addition to the normal methods of curing Insanity, a Modify Memory spell or similar can end the effect. A Knowledge (Religion) check (DC same as the saving throw) reveals this information.

Insanity is a decent spell, essentially being a permanent Confusion... but it only affects a single target, and whoever you’d want to use it against is typically not going to last long enough for the permanent duration to matter. I suppose slapping someone you hate but don’t necessarily want to kill is good enough, or blasting some poor random sod who hasn’t accepted the Truth, but as a Boon? Groetus really doesn’t bless his Evangelists with anything good.

Insanity is not only a level 7 spell while most 3rd Boons grant 9th level effects, but in stark contrast to a normal third Boon, the version you get here is actually weaker than just getting the spell normally, because Insanity has a Long range (100ft + 10ft/lvl) and can only be removed with 7th+ level magic (Greater Restoration, Heal, etc). Having a much easier method of dispelling the effect is just insulting, even if it is flavorful. This would be considered a second tier Boon by most deities, or even demigods! Come on, Groty, step it up!

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EXALTED

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Boon 1: Maddening Voice. Gain Lesser Confusion 3/day, Mad Hallucination 2/day, or Confusion 1/day.

Off to a bad start. Lesser Confusion may as well not even be a spell, so we’re moving on from there. Mad Hallucination is a fun spell to not need components for, barraging a single target with visions of insanity for upwards to an hour, though mechanically it’s only a -2 to a very small number of relatively unimportant checks (caster level really only applies to players, who must regularly pierce SR). Rather uniquely, it’s not mind-affecting, but is instead a phantasm Illusion, allowing it to affect a wider range of creatures than normal! But it’s still not really super useful, because as it’s negated by a Will save and penalizes Will saves with a successful application, wouldn’t you have preferred a Save or Suck first?

This leaves Confusion which, as area of effect spells go, isn’t the best. There’s a 1/2 chance that they essentially lose their turn, but a 1/4 chance that they’re unaffected by the confusing magic and a 1/4 chance that they attack the nearest creature... Which, more often than not, means your allies anyway. Speaking of, Confusion doesn’t discriminate between ally and enemy, so blasting a crowd that happens to have a friend inside will force them to make a Will save as well.

It’s a hysterical spell to drop on a crowd of smaller enemies (or a crowd of innocent civilians), but the coin flip nature of its effect makes it terribly unreliable. It’s still the best option among the three, though.

Boon 2: Silent Witness. 1/day as a full-round action, you can protect yourself with the effects of Invisibility, Nondetection, and Sanctuary for 10 minutes per Hit Die you possess. Anyone who succeeds at a Will saving throw (DC = 10 + 1/2 Hit Dice + Wis mod) or a caster level check (DC = 11+your HD) against these effects sees a glimpse of something unfathomable and becomes confused for 1 round unless it succeeds at a second Will save with the same DC.

Have you ever wanted to be this gif?

Then good news! Exalted of Groetus can live out that dream! With little more than a gesture and a bit of concentration, you can just vanish from the world for a little while. It’s not a complete disappearance, mind, because anything with blindsense, blindsight, or scent can still track you, but by god can absolutely no one see you (remember you’re shielded from Detect X spells!). And, thanks to Sanctuary, even if they have a way to keep track of you, there’s a chance that they won’t be able to act on it.

The mindbogglingly massive 10 min/level duration effect on each of the effects screws over Nondetection (with a normal 1 hour/level duration) but is a monstrous buff to Invisibility (1 min/lvl) and especially to Sanctuary (1 round/lvl), because someone failing their save against Sanctuary means they can’t target the warded creature for the duration of the spell! While normally a fighting monster could just pull back and wait for the effect to expire as they focus their efforts on the rest of the party, good luck kiting for 10 minutes. The shielding effect breaks the moment you attack, but you can get around that by never casting damage-dealing spells! Crowd control and SoS spells all day!

Invisibility and Nondetection also make you the undisputed king of sneaking into places, too. Mundane eyesight and magical detection spells will fail to pierce your veil, requiring the 6th level True Seeing to actually see where you’ve gone. I really enjoy the added touch that anyone successfully piercing the spell effects has to make a save or become confused. It’s just some nice frosting atop this cake! Already Groetus is looking better and better!

Boon 3: Infinite Patience. You cannot die of old age, even through magical means. You still physically age, accruing bonuses and penalties as normal. In addition, once per day as a standard action, you can choose any one action you could ready and define a condition under which you will take that action. Within the next 24 hours, whenever you observe that condition, you can take the chosen action as an immediate action.

Age without youth isn’t something you see a lot of nowadays, except in cases of diabolic bargains going haywire. To have a god inflict it upon its followers is something special; I like enjoy the fact that you’ll eventually just need to outright mummify yourself if you want to keep moving (or invest in mechanical/magical parts). It brings to mind the mental image of a cult to Groetus opening an ancient coffin to reveal their absolutely skeletal leader, old enough to have seen Earthfall and coursing with madness and might in equal measure.

But post-campaign shenanigans aside, the primary use of this ability is a pseudo-Contingency that you can use to prepare anything. Any action you could conceivably ready (an attack, a standard-action spell, a sudden move, a sabotaging strike, etc) is usable with this ability! And because you don’t have to name the action or condition right away, with a bit of good guesswork (or divination magic), you can custom tailor your immediate action for maximum benefit; you can go the mundane route and have it be something simple, like “if an enemy strikes me with a melee attack, teleport to safety” or “if I am brought below half health, cast Heal or Mass Heal on myself/my allies,” or the bonkers route like “the instant the enemy opens their mouth to monologue, cast Disintegrate” or “if someone compares me to an animal, use magic to turn into that animal.”

This ability rewards both creativity and thinking ahead, so get good at both! Because used right, this ability is “cast any spell w/ a standard action casting time as an immediate action,” and used wrong it’s “do nothing.”

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SENTINEL

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Boon 1: Endbringer. Gain True Strike 3/day, Death Knell 2/day, or Keen Edge 1/day.

I’m 90% sure there’s been Boons named Endbringer before, and nowhere else is it less appropriate than this menagerie of mediocrity. Oh, sure, Keen Edge is nice and all, but want a fun fact? Groetus’ sacred weapon is the heavy flail, which deals bludgeoning damage, and Keen Edge can ONLY be applied to a piercing or slashing weapon. That means you, the Sentinel, the holy martial warrior, cannot bless your own holy weapon chosen by your god. Sure, you can bless someone else’s stuff, but it still boggles my mind that they’d give you spell that cannot work on your own weapons!

Ironically, despite that, it’s probably your best choice. True Strike is useless unless you can cast a Quickened version, and Death Knell saves you basically no time (if you want a dying enemy to die, walk over and stab them 2~4 times). The only real use for Death Knell for a martial character is to take care of creatures with Ferocity or Diehard, or cheesing a creature with Regeneration.

Boon 2: Visions of the End. 1/day as a full-round action, you can gain the benefits of Augury, Know the Enemy, and Locate Weakness simultaneously, all regarding the same creature or object (even if the spell normally doesn’t function with objects) and its death or undoing. These effects apply only to the target.

Because these are relatively niche spells: Know the Enemy lets you make an immediate Knowledge check versus the target with a +10 insight bonus, and Locate Weakness lasts 1 min/level and allows you to roll twice for critical hit damage and take the better results. While normally KtE only affects creatures, this ability allows you to make it against objects as well.

Evangelists got screwed, huh? Imagine not being able to cast three spells at once (this post made by Exalted And Sentinel Gang). Now, granted, this ability isn’t as useful as Silent Witness above is, but it’s a pretty handy way to deal with a creature you’ve never seen before. With Locate Weakness’s lengthy duration, you can use this ability before combat begins and use the knowledge gained from Augury (perhaps asking if a certain tactic would work?) and Know the Enemy to better prepare yourself and your party.

The added flexibility of being able to focus this power on an object opens up a lot of options as well, such as using it to parse the history of an Artifact, to know where or when an item may have come from, and how best to destroy it if need be. This spell combo isn’t the best, but even at its worst it’s a free +10 to a Knowledge check against any critter or object and an Augury against the same target to let the DM sprinkle some hints for you here and there.

Boon 3: Frightful Presence. You can terrify foes as a free action whenever you take an offensive action, such as attacking. Foes within 30 feet of you and with fewer Hit Dice than you must succeed at a Will saving throw or become shaken for a number of rounds equal to your Hit Dice (DC = 10 + 1/2 your HD + Cha mod). If the victim has 4 or fewer Hit Dice, it becomes panicked instead. Foes with more Hit Dice than you are immune to this ability.

Frightful Presence is a massively powerful ability when it’s on a dragon or powerful Outsider, terrifying whole armies at once and sending them scattering--perhaps even to the point of attacking one another to get away--but in the hands of a player? It’s not exactly as strong. When you face something with Frightful Presence, there’s a 100% chance that they’ll have more HD than you (and maybe your entire party), assuring that you’ll be shaken up at least once in the fight. If you have FP, however, it’s never going to work on anything you desperately want it to, because anything with your HD or higher is entirely unaffected and unimpressed by your antics, and of course anything worth fighting has more HD than you.

The scaling on this ability means basically no minions will march into battle against you without being shaken, and swarms of minor foes trying to clog you up will be sent running to the hills by your terrifying aura. It’s a satisfying feeling of power to walk into an area filled with low level enemies (or civilians) and force them to run in utter, pants-soiling terror at the mere sight of you. What’s better than a tank that draws aggro? One who ends it.

There’s no per-day use on this ability and no 24-hour immunity clause on it, so even if you fail to scare the crowd once, you can just try, try again every single time you attack. So, it’s safe to say that while Groetus started off pathetically weak with his basic benefit and the travesty of his Evangelists, his Exalted and Sentinels more than make up for it in terms of power and flexibility. Not bad! And soon, we’ll see what sorts of actual sentinels he’s got on his side...

You can read more about him here.

#Spiritual Spotlight #Neutrality Notes #Pathfinder #Dungeons and Dragons

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thetrueenemyofhumanity · 6 years

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I got a request, if this isn't too complicated. So, the S/O of Tracer/Mercy/DVa is killed in a building collapse during a high risk mission, but no body could be found. A year later, The Nameless Soldier emerges, a ruthless vigilante hellbent on the death of Overwatch. It's revealed that The Nameless Soldier is actually the S/O, who's still alive and now hates Overwatch, believing they were abandoned by their allies. Kind of like or The Arkham Knight. Thanks for running such a great blog!

1) I’m so sorry for the delay

2) I’ve never played that game sadly, so I apologize for these inaccuracies I didn’t know what I was doing (but do i ever)

Tracer

The chronal accelerator’s beeping became more frantic as thebattery got weaker and weaker with each blink. However Tracer could barely hearit over her own laboured breathing, blood rushing in her ears and the constantfire of her pistols. But each shot felt like a waste considering no matter howmany she landed it barely slowed down her opponent. But their weaponry didn’thave the same issue. All it took was one well aimed shot to bring the Britcrashing down, her pistols sliding across the floor where they are crushed by aheavy boot. Panicked, she tried to recall, only to be met with the same franticbeeping to tell her she had no juice left. Her pounding heart stopped when shelooked up to be met with the barrel of a gun brushing her nose.

“Stay down, Lena. I wouldn’t like to blow that pretty headoff those shoulders,” you warned, finger tensing on the trigger, As much as youhated Overwatch and all it had done to you and taken away… You just couldn’tbring yourself to shoot her.

“You may know my name, but if you think I’m just gonnasurrender then you don’t know the first thing about me!” she snapped, suddenlygrabbing the gun and pointing it into her chest. On instinct you pulled thetrigger and for the briefest of moments fear filled your heart. It had been fartoo long since you felt anything other than rage and this icy grip froze youuntil your senses were knocked back into you by Tracer slamming you into theground, pinning your arms to your side. Your vision cleared from the dizzyingblow to adjust to the blue light you were bathed in. Looking into the chronalaccelerator a smile tugged at your lips as you realised you could see rightthrough it. Clever girl. Despite your position, you found relief washing overyou that she wasn’t dead. All this time you thought your heart was too burnedand blackened from the incident. But evidently, against your better judgement,you still cared.

“I know you better than you think,” you told her, wrestlingan arm free and striking her in the side before throwing her off of you and gettingto your feet. “And I know whats best for you. And that is getting out ofOverwatch while you still can before you burn with it.”

“You’re warning me about a threat that you pose,” she hissedthrough gritted teeth as she rose, “Look, I don’t want to hurt you, let me helpyou instead. That’s what Overwatch does! It helps people and we can-“

“Help?!” you spat, crossing the distance between you in aninstant. “Leaving me in that rubble was ‘helping’, was it?”

The colour left her face and she inside she crumbled allover again. Her wide eyes finally showed fear for the first time as they welledwith tears. She shook her head and backed away, covering her mouth to hold backa sob.

“No… No no no!” she cried, “It can’t… You’re dead!”

“Only on the inside,” you scoffed, turning your back on herand beginning to walk away, “Which is why you’re only getting this one chance.I’ll bring down Overwatch and you can’t stop me. I don’t want to go throughyou, but I will do whatever it takes.”

Mercy

“Come on, get up! We still need you,” Mercy pleaded with theinjured agent, working furiously to get them to their feet. Just as they werefinally rising from their knees they suddenly fell backwards and Angela’spristine white Valkyrie suit was bathed in red. A shriek burst past her lipsand she scrambled back in fear of being the next target.

“I don’t think that’s something your little beam can fix.”

She whipped around at the sound of your voice and drew herpistol, but she was shaking far too much to even hope of making a decent shot.You knew she wouldn’t shoot and, despite her brave façade, she knew it too.Your heart was not as kind as hers, so why the hell were you lowering yourweapon as you strode over. Your boots squelched as you walked through the bloodtowards her, only coming to a stop when her fallen staff rested before yourfeet. Rather than step over it, you looked down at it for a moment.

“Could have been useful for when I dragged myself out of therubble I was left in by your dear Overwatch, huh Angela?”

The silence that followed was broken by her gun clatteringto the floor as she brought trembling fingers to her mouth with a broken gasp.

“(Y/N)… You’re alive?” she whispered.

“Well no thanks to Overwatch for that. Unlike them, I’mgoing to be efficient. I’m going to make sure they’re dead,” you promised her.

“No!” she said firmly, biting back the fear and forcingherself to her feet to face you, “No, this is not you. The one I love is not akiller-“

“Love? Love is not leaving someone to die. Love was me inagony waiting for rescue. Waiting in hell for my guardian angel to save me.They took everything from me. But why would they care? I was just fodder, not aperson,” you stated bitterly.

“You were someone! You were part of our family and we werebroken when we lost you. You think I did not care? That I just forgot you? Idug for days through that rubble. Day and night, without food or drink orsleep. Every inch of my hands bled and even then I refused to give up. Itwasn’t until Jack and Lena physically dragged me away that I was forced tofinally gave up. I shouldn’t have given up, I am sorry. Those are my sins, donot punish anyone else for them. If you want vengeance take it against the goodDoctor Frankenstein that created you,” she pleaded. Her gentle hands wrappedaround the gun you held. Believing she was trying to take it from you, yourgrip on it tightened. But those were far from her intentions, which becameclear when she raised it to press against her forehead.

“Angela I’m not-“ you began, but were promptly cut off.

“I am Overwatch. I am your enemy. I am the cause of yourbroken heart. It is time I pay for my sins.”

D.Va

It took several hard kicks for the busted latch to eventuallygive and the twisted metal to finally break free. With a grunt and plenty ofshimmying, Hana slid through the opening, now free from the broken shell of heronce great mech.

“Should have stayed in that armour, little bunny.”

That voice. It sent chills through her and stole the airfrom her lungs. Thoughts of retrieving her pistol vanished and were replaced bymemories of your smiling face, your loving embrace, and your funeral. It was anempty coffin they buried but it was heavy with the weight of her broken heart. Thatday the light in her life was extinguished, buried beneath six foot of earth. Herheart had never mended, but she had to keep fighting. In her lowest moments heronly fuel came from telling herself that she was doing it for you. To make theworld you died for better. And here you were alive. And trying to set the worldon fire.

“The only person who called me that is buried beneath a tenstorey building,” she replied in a quiet voice, slowly turning towards you. Herexpression was a mixture of fear, despair and betrayal. She would have beenovercome with joy were this reunion under different circumstances. All thedreams she had of having you back in the land of the living didn’t involve youtrying to kill her friends.

“Twelve, but at least you were in the double digits,” youreplied with a shrug, “Hana, you’ve seen what I can do to your mech and Ididn’t even break a sweat. I suggest that you get out of here.”

“When have I ever been known to back down?” she asked,stepping closer to you and narrowing her eyes.

“Now is a good time to start. Because I sure as hell wontbe. I’ve thought of nothing but vengeance since… Since they left me there.”

“So you haven’t even thought of me? Because I never stoppedthinking of you. Or is there no room for love in a heart full of hate?” shedemanded as she crossed her arms. A tense silence filled the room, broken onlyby the whirring of her dying mech. Fat tears rolled down her cheeks and herlower lip trembled as she tried to hold herself together. Your jaw clenched andyou took a deep breath as you finally decided.

“Not anymore.”

#overwatch #drabble #tracer x reader #dva x reader #d.va #d.va x reader #tracer #dva #mercy #mercy x reader #mercy writing #tracer writing #dva writing #d.va writing

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localocksmithnearme · 4 years

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Acura Ignition Repair & Key Replacement Spring TX

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buzzmery · 4 years

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How To Be a far better Wife: 11 Tips To think about

How To Be an honest Wife Let’s talk all about the way to be a far better wife.

Does this thought have you ever scratching your head? These ideas are here to assist.

Let me start this off by saying I do know it takes two to form a wedding work. Team sports for the win!

But don’t spend an excessive amount of time analyzing if you ought to attempt to make a change until your husband changes x, y, and z. Don’t do something supported by what your partner is or isn’t doing.

Look inside yourself. believe the way to be a far better wife today!

How to be an honest wife! An all-around better person.

This is not a contest to ascertain who is doing more work and who is doing it better.

Making a change is for yourself even as very much like for your spouse.

I included my husband in on this one. I even have been loving hearing his combat things.

Yes, it is often hard sometimes. He may have used the word trapped during a conversation. But there’s little question in my mind that those hard conversations cause better things.

Dare I exploit the word breakthrough?

Now, this might surprise you. But I'm no marriage counselor. Although, some days I desire one.

But I'm hooked into thriving in my marriage. to mention I do touch research is an irony.

Just like there's nobody size fits all with parenting. an equivalent is true for marriage.

These are things I make it a priority to figure on. I'm constantly evaluating myself and my relationship with my hubby. Doing a touch check-in you'll say.

You know when the check engine light comes on in your car.

Well, picture a light-weight like that for your marriage. Keep things running smoothly with these tried and true tips.

This post contains affiliate links, which suggests I'll receive a little commission, at no cost to you, if you create a sale through a link. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Here Are 11 recommendations on the way to Be a far better Wife and Improve Your Marriage 1) Give Him Some Space OK, so I'd be the lady waiting at the highest of the steps like an eager dog when my hubby gets home from work. and that I am armed with a minimum of 3 things to inform him about my day.

And I follow him around to whatever room he goes in. Oops. Now, I don’t do that to harass him. I'm not purposely invading his personal space every second.

I am just legitimately happy to ascertain him. and therefore the incontrovertible fact that he isn’t running into my arms has been known to harm my feelings.

Even though we all know most are different. It is often a challenge to accept and understand this. then adjust accordingly.

I am comfortable with him invading my personal space most of the time but that’s not how he's employed. And that’s fine.

There are worse things than him wanting some space. albeit sometimes my heart feels a touch broken.

I am performing on TRYING to ascertain things from his side and not take everything so personally.

2) Know His Love Language This one may be a game-changer. For you and your spouse.

Knowing a love language can assist you better understand the various ways people give and receive love.

If you've got no idea what this is often then you're certain a treat. This book is so helpful!

I can consider a couple of (OK a lot) of times I wish I might have had this handy marriage tool. But luckily I do now.

Does this mean we sleep in marital bliss?

Sometimes.

Does this mean I understand him a touch more?

Also sometimes.

But I assure you this book helped us understand one another more.

3) Compliment More Do you give compliments regularly? I'm not talking about gushing over your spouse. I’m talking about small things.

These little things can take a backseat during a marriage. Life goes on and that we forget to only stop and say something nice. Isn’t that crazy. We forget to mention nice things.

I try very hard to form sure I'm dispensing compliments daily.

Compliments give me a touching pep in my step. I'm pretty sure it does an equivalent for my husband. and every one the opposite men out there.

One last item. Don’t roll in the hay just to urge something reciprocally. that kind of defeats the aim.

I know I even have been guilty of this. Staring him down so hard and most the time he's watching me with no idea why my eyes are bulging out of my head.

This is a reminder to all or any folks that a compliment is 100% for and about the opposite person.

4) Criticize Less I am a professional at giving my two cents. Who isn’t?

I’m sort of a cat able to pounce.

But sometimes an individual doesn't want advice or your combat things. they only want to be heard. Listened to.

I am performing on knowing when my combat things aren't needed. Man, this is often a tough one. Especially once I desire I even have the solution or I do know a far better way. My mouth and my brain start having an inner argument.

My mouth has been known to win but what am I able to say. I’m a piece ongoing.

And ladies, sometimes we do know best. Am I right?

5) means Something Good a day Some days this may be easy peasy. Other days, it's going to take some deep thinking to return up with something.

But I still try. It doesn’t need to be anything huge. I even have found that it is that the little things that matter. These are the items that fall flat the cracks.

This also involves being thankful. I find myself browsing the motions and not stopping to be grateful.

Showing appreciation for the items my husband does. Even when all I would like to try to do is call him out for x, y, and z.

My husband is the best daddy to our female child. So, even on the rough days, there's always that tiny nugget of excellent.

Even when it feels challenging, find, and acknowledge the great in your spouse.

6) specialize in The Positive He doesn't get to hear about every little annoyance that occurred in my day. Becoming a negative Nancy may be a slippery slope.

We all have crap days. and that we want to vent to someone. That’s fine and dandy. But my venting was the type that never stopped. It just went on and on.

It is very easy for that to happen. you begin by saying one thing and your level of annoyance keeps rising and you're mad everywhere again. I don’t want something to possess that much control over me.

Focus on the positive in yourself, the positive you see in others, and therefore the positive things in your life.

how to be a far better wife 7) Asking What He Wants/Needs My husband works tons. I do know I'm not alone during this. So, when he's off I tend to form the plans for the day. Without even talking with him. I just tell him what we do that day.

This is another one among those things I am not doing maliciously. But maybe he's not on board with having his entire time off controlled.

Maybe he's feeling tired or drained. Maybe he's mentally exhausted and wishes some alone time.

I don’t know if I don’t ask. I could await him to inform me eventually. But at that time, he has been holding things in and that we all skills that sometimes seems.

We all know the hard part about change. the sole person we will change is ourselves. I know, bummer. Some days, i wish I could change my husband.

But something amazing happens once you work on yourself. It won’t happen overnight but it's pretty safe to mention you'll see a change in your spouse.

Fingers crossed, ladies!

8) Give Him Guy Time Girl talk makes me feel alive. Seriously. It makes me feel rejuvenated.

So, maybe it does an equivalent for him?

This one is tough on my behalf. In my mind, his eagerness to spend time together with his friends is not eager to spend time with me. But it doesn’t work like that. Some days I would like ice coffee and a few days hot coffee is my ally.

It is not always about choosing one thing over another.

I am black and White. The struggle is real, friends!

A bonus to the present is him having some guy time is additionally an ideal opportunity to specialize in some self-care!

I planned and began this blog while he was playing video games together with his friends!

9) leave of Your temperature I need to form an attempt to try to things that aren't my exact cup of tea.

Like when it's his address pick the movie for date night. I desire there's no way I will be able to like his pick then find yourself loving it.

I am not the foremost adventurous person around. And I’m fine with the way I'm. But a part of being during a relationship is doing things for the opposite person. Even once you don’t desire it.

10) Speak Up Ever hold something certain goodbye that you simply word barfed everywhere your husband.

And maybe, within the beginning, it wasn’t an enormous thing. But it grew and grew sort of a weed. Now, it seems like there's a dang 20 foot oak inside you waiting to burst out.

Communication is crucial. (Don’t miss these communication tips that are vital for your relationship)

The biggest mistake I wont to make was saying those certain two words. “I’m fine.”

Those words mean anything but that. I might say they then hold things in and expect him to read my mind. I assumed I used to be making it obvious I used to be not fine but apparently, he just thought it had been my time of the month or something.

The deduct from this?

Talk it out. Always!

how to be a far better wife 11) Watch Your Words Does this sound familiar? you usually do x, y, and z. You NEVER do that or that.

These words were my best friends. once you are mad about something, it can desire things are always or never a particular way. Especially when this thing went on before.

The best thing I can do when my blood is boiling is to require a moment. Hit the pause button.

If a screaming match starts, neither one among you is listening. you're just thinking of what you're getting to say next. Your next insult is on deck.

And this does absolutely nothing positive for your relationship.

Marriage isn't a one-person job. But sometimes it can desire you're alone. the reality is marriage is going to be hard. I stray far away from using the word easy in the least when it involves relationships.

There are different seasons. Sometimes a tough season will sneak up on you. Like snow in April. Rare in my parts but it's happened. It just happened the opposite day.

Now, I still get mad. I still say things I don’t mean and exaggerate situations. So does he. So does everyone. But I attempt to speak in a way that helps move a conversation forward.

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kusunogatari-a · 7 years

Text

[ New Adventure ] [ @frogprinceus ] [ Jiraiya, Suigin Ryū, Uzumaki Naruto, Sarutobi Hiruzen ] [ Death mention ] [ Verse: What Could Have Been ]

By the time the messenger hawk brings him the news...it's already too late.

Without hesitation, Jiraiya abandons his mission – protocol be damned – and pushes himself to his limits to return to Konoha, mourning waylaid by a desperation to prove it's not true. That the village suffered no harm.

That Minato...Kushina...are still alive.

He makes it to the gate the next morning, dawn long broken by the time he steps through the archway. Slowed to a stop, he simply stares for a long moment, not believing what he sees. Wreckage, carnage – buildings blasted apart to rubble, streets upheaved, and in some places...bodies are still being removed from the debris. Entire swaths – carved by the beast's chakra – have been gouged along the village proper. In the distance, the Hokage tower still stands. Some semblance of luck.

But it's no longer Minato who sits there. Without a successor, it's his predecessor instead that retakes the seat: his own teacher, Sarutobi Hiruzen. They've never had to go backwards before.

Frozen in the mouth of the gate, Jiraiya can't seem to comprehend what he sees. How...how did this happen? They had a plan...Minato was so sure the seal would hold.

What went wrong?

Eventually, he manages to drag his feet forward, taking in the damage as he goes. It still feels like some kind of waking nightmare – part of him still feels numb, unable to process the scene.

On the way to the tower, he passes the Academy, thankful to see it undamaged. There's no classes by the look of things, but several students still take to the yard, likely left in the teachers' hands while parents either help sort through the rubble...or are dragged from it. And despite the heartache of the situation, Jiraiya finds himself glad to see children unharmed.

Off to one side, across the road, he just manages to catch a hint of movement, drawing his gaze and making him pause.

Tucked away in an inlet of a tree trunk, another child watches the others, huddled with her knees to her chest. Staring with a mix of timid fear and lonely longing, it's not her expression that catches the sannin's attention, but her appearance as a whole.

She looks so familiar...

Moving a bit closer, Jiraiya eventually stops again, still unnoticed with her eyes on the others. They're a soft grey, lined with white lashes and topped with white brows to match a crown of colorless waves of hair to her jaw. It's like there's not a speck of color on her, dressed in plain, dark-grey clothes.

He's only ever seen one woman who looked like that...and not for, what...six years or so now? She was far more austere in her air – unwavering, confident...and maybe a bit prideful. There's no mistaking it...this has to be her daughter. Perhaps...she's here to help with the injured?

The thought of seeing her again brings a knot to Jiraiya's stomach...which is only tightened as he considers the girl again. She looks to be, what...five or so? Just old enough to...

Shaking the thought aside, he decides to ask his old sensei – surely he'd know if the other sage was here. And...he needs to hear what happened to his own student. What went wrong. Giving her another glance, the sannin slips away toward the tower.

It's bustling with shinobi running messages, organizing recovery efforts, and the cleanup of the rubble. Ignoring them, Jiraiya doesn't stop until Hiruzen gives him leave to enter the office. It's...unsettling to see the old man there again when it should be Minato.

“Ah, Jiraiya...you must have gotten my message.” Lifting his pipe from his lips with an exhale of smoke, the Sandaime gives him a tired look, dark circles under his eyes. No doubt he's not slept a wink since the incident – both out of duty, and out of mourning.

“Got back as soon as I could.” Crossing to the desk, Jiraiya lays his palms upon it, expression tense. “...what happened...? Minato told me he had this under control.” And he never doubted his student.

“We're still putting the pieces together...” A hand runs over his face, which slackens with sorrow. “...there were no witnesses left alive. Even my Biwako, serving as a midwife, was slain. But judging by the bodies...they were attacked before the Kyūbi broke loose. Someone knew where the birth was taking place. I'm certain they were after the beast, or at least seeking to unleash it.” His brow furrows. “...it's being assumed it was an Uchiha. Their Sharingan means control over the bijū. We just don't know who specifically...or why.”

“Then, Minato...?”

“He confronted the Kyūbi, and we're assuming also the person responsible for its release. Most of us were trapped here, in the village, fending off the bijū while he did so. By the time I reached him...it was too late. He had sealed the beast into his son. Kushina managed to live for a time, but...it was futile in the end. The beast ran them both through with a talon. But the sealing was completed...Naruto is now the Kyūbi's jinchūriki.”

Jiraiya heaves a heavy sigh, head bowing. “...I should have been here. I could have -”

“There's little use in what-ifs and could-have-beens,” Hiruzen cuts in, firmly but gently. “...don't torture yourself like that, Jiraiya. What's done is done. We must move forward.”

The sannin's jaw tenses. He knows his sensei is right...but that doesn't ease the ache in his chest. “...what of the boy?”

“As of now, he's still in the hospital's maternity ward, under his mother's name.” The Hokage pauses. “...he was named your godson, was he not?”

“Yeah...but I can't take him with me. And you know better than anyone I can't sit here and play father. There's too much I have to do outside the village.” He almost regrets the title – how can he be a proper guardian with so much responsibility? Of course...Minato would have faced the same problem, bearing the title of Hokage. But his work was here, in the village. Jiraiya's takes him all over the continent. “...I can't take him now. Maybe...when he gets older. But for now he's too young. And I'm far too...busy.” It feels like an excuse, and guilt weighs in his stomach. What else can he do?

“...well, we're still discussing options for him. We've never had a jinchūriki so young...” Hiruzen muses, chewing the stem of his pipe. “...we've a slew of orphans now, from both the war, and now from the Kyūbi's assault. He's a special case, but far from the only child left alone.”

Silence falls for a time, both of them lost in their thoughts. “...what of the efforts? What can I do?”

Hiruzen considers that. “...well, there's obviously plenty of structural damage. We're still tallying the dead, and the wounded have filled the hospital to the brim.”

Hospital... “...have you brought in other medics?”

“...other medics?”

Jiraiya gestures a hand. “Perhaps...Suigin Reika? I thought I saw...”

The Hokage's expression shifts. “...you mean...you haven't heard?”

“Heard what?”

Hesitating, Hiruzen retakes his pipe. “...Suigin Reika was killed just shy of a year ago. Iwa rebels looking to cross through Yu no Kuni and over the mountains for a back way into Hi no Kuni found their village.”

A wave of cold overcomes Jiraiya, staring at his sensei. “...killed...?”

“Most of it was burned to the ground. No survivors...sans her daughter, Ryū. Jōnin who organized the cleanup found her in the wreckage, and brought her back here.” Another plume of smoke. “...she hasn't been adopted out due to her kekkei genkai. Plans are to let her learn in the hospital next year, when she's Academy-age. Her bloodline means she's meant far more for healing than anything else.”

“What about her teacher? The sage?”

“She can hardly stay in the ruins of a village with only a sage to raise her, Jiraiya. Once she gets older, perhaps...but for now, she'll stay here.”

Something about Hiruzen's tone doesn't sit right with him. “...so if she's not been adopted...where does she stay? I saw her out sitting alone by the Academy.”

“She has a guardian that visits her quarters several times a day – cooks, cleans...at least until she's older. She's a ward of the village, but we're stretched so thin between the transition period post-war, and now all of this Kyūbi mess...” The old man sighs. “...she's hardly the only abandoned child we're having to consider. Those with kekkei genkai are usually taken back in by other clansmen. But...she's the last of her line.”

“...what about her father?”

“We have no idea who he is...or was. Our ties to Kusunokizan are faint at best. I knew little of Reika – she and her clan have always been reclusive. If he was in the village, he's certainly dead now. And even then, it could have been anyone.” A shadow of suspicion clouds the Hokage's eyes. “...you knew Reika at one point, did you not?”

“...I did. Briefly. A few months before she disappeared again.”

“As her line is wont to do. They rarely stay in one place long – too many people in too many places to help. Hence their resistance to be allied with Konoha. Their missive wasn't restricted by borders...” Hiruzen exhales again. “...a pity she's gone.”

Jiraiya's jaw tenses. “...yeah.”

“...well, what will you do? Stay and assist with the reconstruction? Or will you head back out?”

“...I'm not sure yet.”

“If you need something to do, just ask any jōnin – I'm sure they could give you a task just as well as I could.”

A knock then sounds at the door, opening to reveal Koharu and Homura. “Hokage-sama...”

“Yes, yes...Jiraiya, forgive me, but I must cut things short.” He gestures a hand. “...I do hope you will stay. It would be good to have you here during this...troubled time.”

Not giving a solid answer either way, the sannin gives them all a nod before taking his leave.

Once clear of the room, he leans against the wall, a hand at his brow as he considers all he's learned. Naruto: a jinchūriki, orphan, and too young for him to care for himself. But something about Hiruzen's tone makes him wonder just how well-off the boy will be. It's no secret that bijū hosts have...difficult lives. But what can he do? Abandon his duties, and helping the village...? He knows it's not that simple, weighing the two options, but...

And then the news about Reika...how did he not hear before now? It wouldn't have been much longer after they met she likely returned home to raise her daughter. Perhaps her hiding away is why he never heard from her again. But to learn of her passing so suddenly...

...and the girl, Ryū. Sensei claims she's five years old. Is it possible that he...? If anything, it's more than possible: it's likely.

...could he be her father?

He'd traveled with Reika a few months, both often on the road for their respective purposes: he for missions and trying to find peace...and she to offer healing to any in need. They met by chance, finding their similar paths and even more similar teachings by sages. Interest piqued, they'd fallen into step without arranging to. And though his antics had clearly clashed with her own pride and staunch beliefs, they'd somehow became friends. And then...well...a bit more than friends.

And then she'd simply...disappeared.

Expression now somber after his recollection, Jiraiya heaves a heavy sigh before making up his mind. He has to know. If she is his...daughter (such a strange thought), then he's responsible for her, at least in part. Of course...what he'll do once he knows, he can't be sure. She's only a few years older than Naruto – no more suited to being dragged along with him during his expeditions, be they professional or personal.

...but he knows he won't rest easy until he knows for certain.

Hoping she's still where he left her, he abandons the Hokage tower and retraces his steps. By now, with the coming of the afternoon, even more students have taken to gathering in the Academy yard to play. Adults – he's assuming they're parents – linger around the outskirts to keep an eye on the youths alongside the teachers.

But this time, Ryū is no longer alone.

Still pressed against the tree, she's on her feet, wedged as far back as she can manage as a half-circle of older students hem her in. If she looked nervous about them before...she's terrified now.

One boy, obviously a ringleader, leans in with a scowl. “Think we wouldn't notice you, yūrei? Why are you watching us, weirdo? Spying on us?!”

“N-no, I just -!”

“Okāsan says you're bad luck...cursed like a bad omen!” A girl this time, and hands reach to shove at her chest. “And you're an outsider!”

“You look like a yōkai! You gonna gobble us up when we sleep?!”

“Freak!”

Ryū sinks to her knees, arms curled over her head as insults are joined by pebbles.

And yet no one seems to notice.

Temper flares in Jiraiya's chest, eyes widening in both disbelief and anger. Long strides take him the rest of the way to the group, and they all turn to him with surprise...and perhaps a little fear.

Arms crossed over his barrel of a chest, the sannin bears down on them with a warning stare. “...that's hardly any way to behave, is it...? Now scram!” His arms raise, fingers wiggling in an attempt to frighten them off.

Tripping over each other, the children flee back to the Academy yard.

Jiraiya watches them go with a scowl. “Where the hell are the teachers, letting this happen...?” Recalling the girl's words, he adds under his breath, “Though it sounds like adults aren't much better...who believes those old wives' tales, anyway?” Turning back to Ryū, he deflates as she remains huddled in a ball. “Hey...” Crouching on the pads of his feet, he carefully sets a hand along her back.

She flinches.

“Now, now...I'm not gonna hurt you. Those brats are gone. You okay...?”

Daring to peek out, large grey eyes look to him warily, still a bit teary. “...m...mhm...”

“Here...why don't you, uh...unravel yourself a bit, huh? Let me see.”

After a hesitant pause, Ryū slowly relaxes her posture, still hugging her legs.

“They didn't hurt you, did they?”

“No...”

A pause. “...they do that a lot?”

Looking guilty, Ryū glances aside, but gives a tiny nod.

“Well...they're wrong, you know. You’re not a ghost, or a monster, or...any of that garbage.” A hand raises to ruffle her hair with a smile. “Here...why don't you come take a walk with me?”

“I c-can't.”

“Hm? Why not?”

“Obasan told me to...to wait here.”

Obasan...? “...you mean your caretaker?”

“Mhm...”

“She just...left you here?”

A nod. “...she said she had things to do.” Her nose wrinkles. “...she said to play with the others, but...they don't want to play with me. They all play ninja, and...I don't know how.” Ryū huddles into herself a bit more. “...it's scary...”

Jiraiya can't help a curt sigh. So, she's just dumped with the other kids during the day? Even though she's treated like that...? He shakes his head. ...I can just imagine Reika's angry words if she saw this now... “Ninja is scary, huh?”

Another nod – slower this time. “...shinobi are scary...shinobi killed my mommy...and...b-burned down my village...left me all alone...” She threatens to start crying again. “...and now I'm here...and everyone hates me. T-they call me names, say I'm ugly, and a s-stranger. And there's so many shinobi...I just w-want to go home...!”

Not prepared for the tears, Jiraiya backpedals a bit. “Whoa, whoa, easy...! Hey, it's all right, kiddo.” He hasn't dealt with kids in a while – he's out of practice. “Look, uh...” A nervous hand scratches at his neck. “...I think obasan might be gone most of the day, so...how about you stay with me for a while, instead?” A pause, trying to think of a way to convince her. “We...could...go get some candy...?” Oh, that sounded weird, didn't it? “Or, well...whatever you want to do. Something...away from the other kids for a while, huh?”

Sniffling, Ryū looks up, unsure. “...candy...?”

Looks like I found the magic word. “Sure thing, kiddo. What do you say?” His arms open in a friendly gesture, grinning.

Staring at him for a long moment, Ryū's expression slowly slackens to what looks like awe, apparently taken aback by such a simple kindness. After a pause, she scrambles from her seat on the ground and hides in his chest.

“Whoa!” Catching her and trying not to fall over on his geta, Jiraiya finds himself surprised. He wasn't expecting such a quick change in her attitude. Poor kid must get no attention... The thought saddens him, and he stands with a grunt, hefting her to his hip. “There we go! Now...what should we do first?”

“Can...can we really get some candy, ojichan?”

Chuckling at the title, he replies, “Sure, sure! Just not too much. Don't want you getting a toothache, right?”

She gives him a tentative smile, still looking a bit reserved. “Okay...!”

One stick of dango and a small pouch of soft candies later, Jiraiya switches to holding her hand and letting her walk – almost hard to do with how tiny she is. “How's that, Ryū-chan?”

Chewing a sweet, she just gives a nod.

“Now...would it be okay if we make a quick stop?”

Another nod.

Huh...well, she's easy to placate. Leaving the belly of the village, he takes them back toward the hospital.

He has to know.

As Hiruzen warned, it's still a busy place, everyone rushing about to care for the Kyūbi's victims. Picking Ryū up again as not to lose her, Jiraiya approaches the desk. “Could you tell me where I could, ah...get some blood work done?”

“I'm sorry sir, but -” Looking up the receptionist jolts. “O-oh, Jiraiya-sama! I...didn't realize it was you!”

Managing a strained smile, the sannin replies, “That's no problem.”

“Here, I'll find someone to see you as soon as we can. Please just have a seat until then.” She gives the girl a glance, clearly confused, but leaves her chair to find a medic.

“...right.” A bit nervous, he doesn't sit as suggested, just standing idly nearby.

“...hospital...?”

Giving Ryū a glance, he nods. “Mhm. This is where you'll learn to be a medic, right? Like your mother?”

Fortunately, Ryū isn't old enough to ask how he knows her mother. “Mhm...” Taking in all the hustle and bustle, her eyes are wide, but not with fear: with interest. A kind of eagerness and curiosity she hadn't had when back by the Academy. No longer does she look afraid. She looks...happy.

...you really are your mother's daughter.

“Jiraiya-sama! This way please!”

Escorted to a room, he sets Ryū on the cot as a medic balances a clipboard. “What can I do for you, sir?”

“Well...” He itches his neck nervously. “...I have something I need checked, but...I'd like it to be done very...discreetly.”

“Of course – medical records are kept completely private.”

“I mean...even among the staff.”

The woman perks a brow. “...I see. And that would be...?”

There's a long pause. Why does this have to be so...awkward? “...I need a blood test done. On both the girl, and myself. To check, ah...”

Before he can finish, understanding lights up the medic's face. “...I believe I understand. A...paternity test?”

“Y...yes.”

“Of course, Jiraiya-sama. It won't take long, if you'd like to wait here...? I'll just need a sample from you both.”

Nodding in agreement, he goes first, and then watches as Ryū doesn't even flinch at the needle under her skin. Once the medic takes her leave, he gives her a smile. “That was awfully brave!”

“I saw lots of needles.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm.” For a moment she doesn't elaborate, but then offers, “I woke up here. Stayed here for a long time.” Something darkens in her expression. “...it was sad...”

“Because you were alone...?”

“Yeah...but there was a nice man.” Ryū looks up. “Mi...Minato-sama. Hokage-sama. He had a burning coat! He was there when I woke up. He told me...kāchan was gone. And home was gone. I was really sad...and angry, sometimes. I had to sleep a lot.”

Jiraiya listens quietly, expression somber.

“Then I had to leave. I have my own room, but...it's so quiet. Obasan comes sometimes. She doesn't talk much. Doesn't give any hugs, or kisses goodnight.” Another long pause. “...it's a sad room.”

Before he can ask something else, the door opens to reveal the medic. Once it closes, she looks to Jiraiya with a hesitant expression. Before she even says it, he knows.

“The test came back positive, Jiraiya-sama.” There's an awkward silence. “...do...you need anything else?”

“No, that's all. Though...would you mind just...throwing the test out? Not much use in keeping it.”

“Of course, sir.”

Hesitating for a moment, he gives Ryū a smile. “Well, let's go kiddo. It's getting a bit late.” Nodding to the medic, he plants Ryū back on his hip and takes his leave.

For the second time that day, things seem to just sort of...go numb.

He walks without much purpose, too caught up in his thoughts to mind where he's going. Is that why Reika left...? Did she think he'd be...angry, or disappointed? Or perhaps she thought him unsuited to be a father...

The thought stings, and he actually flinches. He...did give her a rather...crass impression. Between his 'research' and his rather flirtatious personality – even when they were traveling together – perhaps she just...didn't think things would work, in the long run.

...would they have?

And yet, there's little use in wondering now. Reika is dead. And all that's left of her is a daughter he never knew existed. One...she never thought to tell him about.

“...ojichan...?”

Broken from his thoughts, Jiraiya gives her a glance. “...hm?”

She looks to him sadly. “...are you okay...?”

“...yeah, kiddo. I'm okay. I'm just...tired.” And he is. He's exhausted, between running all night...and facing so much in one day. It all seems to catch up with him at once, and he settles on a bench with a sigh. “...guess I've got a lot on my mind.”

Shifted to sit on his lap, Ryū looks up to him worriedly. “...can I help?”

He chuckles. “...we'll see. For now, how about we rest for a few minutes?”

“...'kay.”

Watching her, Jiraiya sees her stare out into the street, taking in the sights with those big, doe-like eyes. It's funny...she's nothing like her mother, in regards to her air. While Reika's presence was confident, aloof, and perhaps even haughty, Ryū is so...soft. Of course, he can't blame her. The poor thing is alone, scared...and obviously ostracized. How could she be confident if no one helps her grow?

But there's still that thirst in her eyes, looking at everything with such fervid curiosity. Perhaps it's because she's no longer alone, but...she doesn't look afraid anymore. Instead, she takes in her surroundings with an eagerness to see, and to learn.

...and that reminds him of her mother.

Sighing, he rubs a hand along his chin, conflicted. He knows he can't just...scoop her up and take her with him. Missions and traveling are no places for someone that young. Besides...he has no idea how to be a good parent. A good father. And he could hardly teach her anything about the medical arts. That doesn't even cover the basics, either: reading, writing, maths...he can do those things, but...teach them? Probably not. He can teach shinobi, but...she's certainly not one of those.

...and yet...he can't bear to leave her here. Not where she feels so alone, so left out by her peers, and so ignored by the adults supposedly caring for her. She can hardly thrive here – not without someone to ensure she gets what she needs. Not just meals, or baths – but genuine care and affection.

Just like with Naruto, he finds himself torn two ways. Between his duty as a shinobi of Konoha...and as a guardian. A father. Can he really put the lives of two kids over the work he does for the entire village? Even if they are his student's son...and his own daughter?

And even if he did...would he be able to do it right...?

He never expected to be a parent. He's never given the position any thought, any practice. Sure, he was a bit of a father figure to Minato, but...he didn't raise the boy. Not like a father would.

...where would he even start?

Lost in his thoughts again, Jiraiya glances down at a weight against his front. Apparently getting rather tuckered out herself, Ryū settles against him with a quiet sigh, shifting slightly before stilling.

Something clenches in his chest.

...and he makes up his mind.

“...hey, kiddo...we've got one more stop to make, okay?”

Yawning, Ryū eventually gives a hum of agreement, dozing as the sannin makes his way back toward the Hokage tower.

He gets a few odd looks, but ignores them as he waits for Hiruzen to clear him for entry.

When the pair make their way in, Hiruzen looks up, stares, and then leans back in his chair with a sigh. “...so...were my suspicions correct, student of mine...?”

“It looks like they were. Not much gets by you, old man.”

“If they did...I would never have become Hokage.” Steepling his fingers, the Sandaime is quiet for a long moment. “...what will you do now?”

“I'm going to stay.”

“And...?”

“...and I'm going to take them both.”

A knowing smile spreads across Hiruzen's face. “...I see. And will you need...assistance?”

“Ah, well...I guess I might need a few, uh...pointers, here and there...”

The Hokage chuckles. “I'm sure we can find someone to give you a few lessons. Naruto will likely need more time to be monitored and evaluated. And I'm afraid there will be some paperwork involved. And you'll have to be found suitable for the task, in both regards. You'll need a permanent home for them, proof of an income, and that they won't be left unattended for too long.”

Jiraiya nearly retorts, but holds his tongue.

“...but I'm sure, by the end, we'll get this all straightened around. Not to worry. Though for now...she'll have to return to her quarters.”

Before he can stop it, the sannin tightens his grip. “...I don't think I can allow that. Not after what I've seen and heard today. I'll get a room in an inn for now, as I always do. She'll be fine there.”

Surprise lifts Hiruzen's brow, and he nearly looks ready to argue. But after a moment of thought, he acquiesces. “...very well. I'll allow it, but...we really must get the formalities settled soon.”

“Tomorrow, then.”

Given permission to leave with a wave of his old sensei's hand, Jiraiya retreats. “...well that was easy,” he muses. There's far more to do, he knows, but...at least it's a start.

Finding an inn is easy – thankfully none of the damage found his favorite building. And just as he opens the room door, Ryū stirs. “...hm...?”

“Hey, kiddo.” Turning on the lights, he shuts the door behind him.

Now comes hard part.

Setting her down in a chair, he takes a knee to be at her level. “...sleepy?”

“Mhm...”

“Bet you're hungry, too.”

A nod.

“...well, we'll get you something to eat here in just a minute, okay?” He considers her for a moment. “...so, uh...you know how you told me that...you've been here alone, in Konoha?”

Another nod. She's starting to look more awake.

“...well...I can't take you home, Ryū. At least...not right now. Maybe when you're a little older.”

Looking confused, she doesn't answer.

“...but I, uh...” Why is this so difficult? “...but...if you want...you could...come stay with me. How's that sound?”

“...stay with...ojichan?”

Another pause, and then a laugh. “Well, you don't have to call me that, Ryū. Because actually, you should call me...tōchan. Would that be okay?”

For a long moment, Ryū just stares at him, apparently not quite understanding. But after a moment, her expression slowly shifts from puzzled to shocked.

“...you see...I knew your mother before you were born. And...we were very good friends.” How to explain this without being too...adult. “Actually, for a while...your mother and I, we...uh...” He pauses, somber for a moment. “...we loved each other. But...we couldn't stay together.”

“...why not?”

“Well, it's...it's a bit of a long story. I'll tell you when you're older. You see, your mother took you home, and raised you. But...now that she's gone...I guess it's my turn.”

No reply.

“...and soon, if...you want to stay...you're going to have a...little brother!”

Ryū's eyes go round.

“But...you don't have to stay, if you don't want to, Ryū. I just -” Jiraiya cuts himself off, not sure what to say. She's so young...how much can she understand? “...I don't want you to be alone. I'm sorry it took me so long to find you, but...I hope it's okay for me to be here, with you, now.”

There's another long moment of silence, and Ryū just...stares at him. Trying not to look as nervous as he feels, the sannin hesitates when tears spring up in her eyes.

“Oh, no – no, don't cry -!”

Too late. Wriggling down off her chair, Ryū does her best to embrace him, arms far too small to reach around his bulk. She doesn't give him any kind of answer in words, but...it seems pretty clear to him: she wants to stay.

Unfortunately, her little tirade leaves her all tuckered out again, and before he can find her some supper...she's out like a light.

“Jeez, do kids really sleep this much...?” Almost a little envious, the sannin sighs and leaves her tucked in a bed, heading back to the inn's desk to order a meal. Surely once she wakes up, she'll be even hungrier than before.

With little else to do, he pulls out a trusted journal, not sure where to begin logging the last few days. The view from the room's window still shows the Kyūbi's devastation, and he knows he still needs to lend his aid in that regard, too.

Sighing, he murmurs, “So much to do...so little time...” Twirling his pen in his fingers, he considers the blank page for a moment before beginning to write.

Well, journal...you'll never believe what new adventure I've gotten myself into now...

>w>;;; Welp, I hope this was okay to write, lol - it’s an idea I’ve had for a while, I just...haven’t been able to put it into words! Basically, it’s just an AU where Jiraiya happen to notice Ryū far earlier than we’ve RPed, and it leads to a change in the timeline! Mostly I just wanted to write some sad and some cute x3 Also, I’ve written VERY little Jiraiya, so...I’m probably not very good at it, but I tried! Hope you enjoyed ;w; /

#frogprinceus #jiraiya #suigin ryū #uzumaki naruto #sarutobi hiruzen #death mention #what could have been [ canon verse ]

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hmsindecision · 7 years

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(Part 1) Hey... I've been feeling bothered recently, specifically in regards to my identity. Ive been wanting to appear and be more androgynous for awhile and its something I've wanted for myself for since I was young. But my parents wouldn't allow it. They demean me and anything remotely gnc and it sucks. But I plan to really go after it and forge my identity despite their disapproval. To get ideas, style inspiration, and etc. I've been looking at butches, trans guys, & non binary ppl.

Continued: (Part 2) Its honestly been really fun and soothing in its own way, but I've realized that a lot of these people have disidentified with womanhood or lesbianism in some way. Which I found interesting. Personally I'm cool with being a woman and a lesbian, Ive only had an issue with it when I've been told that there was something wrong with them. But I've been getting the idea of potentially disidentifying and identifying as a trans guy. Now I'm not putting all that weight on it,

(Part 3) It is just a small thought, I don't even have dysphoria, but its just seems like so many in the lgbt community does so. I've noticed that on lgbt twitter/q*eer twitter the vast majority of people that are popular are bi people or trans guys (who also tend to be bi). And the people that are least attacked or targeted on q*eer twitter are trans women. Gay people are under more scrutiny overall. The popular users are hailed as just these youth icons. They seem so sure of themselves.

(Part 4) they seem to have "so much fun on The West Coast. They seem like they're truly living I hate to admit it but I feel jealous. They're so accepted and free, its enough to make me consider to disidentify with lesbianism and being a woman altogether. I know if i go somewhere as a lesbian, theres a solid chance i wont be welcomed and i will be judged. But if identify as a trans guy or some bi non-binary, the lgbt community wouldn't really flinch to open their arms to me. And thats unnerving. (

Part 5) I know its because bi people, on average, make the largest demographic in numbers in the lgbt which is cool. And trans people are center stage atm. So it makes sense. But I watched a video in class a few days ago abt an intersex trans guy and he made fun how he used to be a "man hating seperatist dyke" which really hurt to hear. And I asked a school counselor about the lgbt community at their school and she told me about the trans community before any group else maybe out of assumption.

(Part 7) Which i totally get and agree with. I surely wouldn't transition or do whatever for these reasons. But I just want to be honest about how I feel and not bottle it up. I just want to be a cool kid lesbian being secure in herself, loving herself. But it feels hard. Thats really all. I'm sorry this is so long. You don't have to answer this, I really just wanted to get this out. Thank you for listening.---------------------------I apologize, I think I may have not received a part of this ask, so please excuse any gaps in my answer to you. I think this is such a hard subject to talk about, and I think that you’re being really brave with this kind of honesty. It is scary, and there is pressure, and as humans we do desperately want love and acceptance--withholding love and acceptance from lesbians to the point where some of us misidentify is truly a disturbing thing, and my heart hurts that you’re feeling this way.

The core fact, for me, it this: if the choices are between pretending to be something that I’m not for acceptance and love or being myself and facing possible scorn... well, I made that decision a long time ago when I came out, and I think you did too. Pressure to identify yourself as trans or non-binary exists, and it can absolutely be glorified to do so. To me, this sort of liberal pressure can be similar to conservative pressure to be straight. It’s hard, because this closet can seem more free, but I’m not sure it is. It still doesn’t allow for disagreement or even being allowed to exist without ideas around what that looks like. You deserve better, you absolutely do, and I’m sorry that this community has made “better” so difficult to come by.

Fact is, it wouldn’t surprise me if there were more bi people than gay people. And it also doesn’t surprise me that people who experience opposite-sex attraction would become more popular in both a homophobic world and a community of people who value what they consider strange or interesting over the experiences of gay and lesbian people.

You should have the freedom to explore wearing whatever you like, and no piece of clothing has the power to change who you are. Clothes are fibers twisted together that we use to cover our bodies. Any clothes you wear are your clothes, not man’s clothes. You have an orientation--fashion doesn’t. And anyone who makes the assumption that, based on you being gender non-conforming, you are trans... is not a good ally to lesbians and never was. How you look does not equal who you are. Who you are simply exists.

Fact is, I don’t think these people truly are happy and free in the ways that happiness and and freedom can truly exist. Happiness and freedom come when you do not exist for others, and you don’t have to alter yourself for others. Stepping back from yourself, blaming your body, existing to be popular, those things don’t lead to any kind of true happiness. Finding a style that truly makes you feel comfortable--I think that is a great thing. And people who inspire your style don’t need to reflect your identity.

I know it hurts to see people that might not accept you as you are. It always does. But if you have to change to get that, you won’t be accepted for who you are, but for what you’re trying to be. And there are people out there who will accept you exactly as you are, as a lesbian woman. I’ve been lucky to meet more and more of them, and I know you can be too. It might take time away from your parents, it might take some time with yourself, it might take talking to some women who feel this same kind of pressure (there are some butch women on here who know a lot of this kind of pressure, and I know that @redressalert is a really kind person that might have some good advice).

But you are not worth trading for anything. Ever.

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heyitscmei · 7 years

Text

so i see theres some theory talk floating around

but this post isnt really to do with theories so much as characterization

i had a whole thread over on twitter but ill just copy and paste some thoughts here in regards to one particular post ive seen floating around and some posts linked within im not trying to start fights or anything, im just expressing some thoughts of my own which is why im not linking to the post in question anyways

just a reminder, keith isnt a good liar so unless he became a good liar in the time that shiro was gone, i sincerely dont think he was lying to shiro when he told him that the team needed him

but whether or not he became a good liar or not, one thing is certain based on what weve been shown:

keith is a capable leader, but he still hasnt quite grown into the role yet

keith still hasnt quite learned how to pick his battles

thats why i dont think its quite right to say that hes more capable of a leader than shiro with time, he could be thats something even shiro himself saw in keith: potential

however something thats been made clear to us is that keith still needs to learn a little

shiro on the other hand, has experience being in a leader role hes the garrisons golden boy, the pilot of the kerberos mission and he was the head of voltron for a reason black chose him for a reason

he is capable he is a role model for keith keith tells shiro that the team needs him that he cant do it and isnt as good of a leader as shiro because its what he believes to be true

keith is honest and straightforward he knows hes lacking and he doesnt try to pretend that hes a perfect leader he KNOWS hes still struggling between doing what he WANTS to do and doing what he SHOULD do - with accepting that the things he wants to do arent necessarily good for the team to be doing

hes grown immensely in the time he has been leader, but hes not the leader they need to defeat lotor not the way he is right now and he KNOWS that

as for shiro... i can agree that maybe leading voltron gave him control something that hed been robbed of in his captivity but i also dont think that hes the type to really let things like betrayal or jealousy or whatever cloud his vision shiro from the start has always seemed to put their purpose before himself hes never given the impression of being a selfish enough person to have issues over who the leader is he seems more likely to be the type to think 'if this is what it takes, well do it this way'

i think hes being genuine when he says hes glad the team didnt lose sight of things in his absence because thats just how he is hes glad that his absence didnt become their undoing because hes only one person winning the war means saving a lot more than that hes proud of them for that because thats shiro thats what hes like selfless but driven

not once has he ever complained about being thrust into this war even though hes got more than enough reasons to complain because he sees this mission and he knows its for the greater good he knows first hand how bad it can be he wants to spare people from that its like hes selfless to a fault so i dont think he actually has any issues with feeling left out or feeling as though hes the odd one out from the team if that were really the case, i dont think hed guide from the castle as easily as he is theres no reservations or hesitation he doesnt seem to think 'im not part of this anymore' so much as 'im part of this, but in a different way from usual'

keith is so willing to step aside for shiro because ultimately he still believes wholeheartedly that shiro is most suited to lead

keith has never cared about claiming or holding onto the leader position

now in the interest of explaining why i dont think the reasons the OP of the post mentioned that make shiro a bad leader dont actually make shiro a bad leader, i addressed each reason individually so 1) in regards to when shiro tries to carry lance outside after lance protects coran from the bomb

why does he do it? well its not a good idea to leave an injured teammate alone, for one for two, if the explosion was within the castle, its pretty reasonable to think the castle isnt safe either ultimately, while the castle is big, you dont want to be cornered in the very place that the galra are likely to infiltrate

what are the galra after? the lions where are the lions? in the castle where will the galra be going then? the castle so where do you not want to be with your injured teammate? the castle

not to mention, without the crystal, the castle is generally nonfunctional the chances of lance being okay are ultimately greater if shiro gets him out of the castle at least, its a risk shiro is willing to take

why tell pidge to come back when shiro will have the easier time getting lance to safety? not to mention shiro is already there with him its not like he could tell when exactly pidge would be done sending coran and hunk off theres also no telling how long it would take for pidge to get to them its not a wise decision to just stay put inside the enemies main target while knowing the team was so separated

tell allura to come back? let keith check the arusian village by himself? thats not a smart idea either we know that it was ruse to separate them, but the team didnt know that at the time dramatic irony

so from shiros perspective, its better if allura and keith go to the arusian village together because at least they have an ally to watch their backs in the event that something is wrong you dont hear that a village is under attack and assume it wont be dangerous safety in numbers

2) regarding shiro and his decisions about when to fight and when not to fight

its worth mentioning that first and foremost, shiro never makes a decision that he doesnt wait for the others inputs on hes not the type to force them to do something if the majority disagrees with his decisions

but a very important thing about being a leader is knowing when to choose your battles this is especially emphasized in s3 however, whether to fight or retreat hasnt always necessarily been dependent on whether the odds are in their favour or not

one such exception is when they decided to take on zarkons command center

shiro knew that keith was right when he said theyd be bringing zarkon exactly what he wants he wasnt ignoring him shiro was the one who said himself that the odds would be against them even in season 1 it isnt as though he suddenly changed his mind what changed was that they had allura

and allura is a lot more than just a part of the team shes the altean princess shes the true leader of the entire damn war shes too important for them to lose

things they lose if they lose allura? - the ability to wormhole, thus reducing their mobility by a great deal - a key figurehead in the war and the person who best handles the talks and meetings with the other planets

not to mention that she has powers all of them lack, including coran

someone like that isnt exactly easily replaced

shiro said it himself when the others reminded him he was the one who said they shouldnt take on zarkons central command at first they had no choice but to attack zarkons command center

they had to try because, the way he probably saw it, the war was as good as lost if they didnt save allura anyways

in s2 when zarkon manages to keep finding them, keith says they can fight that they should fight (this is actually considered a flaw that he needs to overcome, and is addressed in s3 - he needs to learn to choose his battles) but shiro says that they dont stand a chance against zarkon and his entire fleet

again, he didnt just suddenly change his mind and hes not being hypocritical in any way he explains why they cant because keith doesnt know how to pick his battles yet

they pull back, because shiro doesnt yet see a chance for them to come out of the battle victoriously theyre not prepared yet

later when shiro says that they will be attacking, its different its on their terms its not him listening to keith because he suddenly saw an error in his own judgement or whatever this is shiro acknowledging that there is an advantage to be gained this way they have a chance here that isnt more likely to leave them all dead thats called picking your battles

shiro isnt a bad leader for it in fact, its exactly what will make keith a better leader in s3

3) regarding shiro and keith and leadership

shiro does not have 'a lot of nerve' to tell keith that he has to control his emotions if hes going to lead

shiro is well aware of the fact that sometimes, when youre put into a position where youre responsible for not just yourself, but a whole team of people, you cant let your judgement be clouded by emotions sometimes the things you have to do are not always the things you want to do

its true that keith is rational and can make smart decisions, but in the context of when shiro says this to keith its because he acknowledges that keith still lets emotions cloud his vision sometimes and the scene prior was one of those times you cant lash out at your team you have to talk to them properly thats the kind of thing shiro is trying to have keith understand

(and for the record, the decision to attack zarkons command center was not a decision that seemed to be based on emotion. at the time they attacked, shiro was not aware of the control zarkon still had over the black lion, so he couldnt have been scared of that and sure he might have been scared about what would happen to himself, to allura, to the team, but it was a risk they had to take because allura is too crucial to their mission - thats not an emotional decision its a smart one)

but hes not saying "dont be like me" to keith when he says keith has to control his emotions hes saying this because he acknowledges that keith has potential but he also acknowledges that his potential is still hindered by things that keith needs to work on and overcome

also, keith going against zarkon was not emotionally driven it was more likely keiths idea of a way to gain a huge advantage in the war no emperor to lead automatically means that the opposing side is weakened substantially

it wasnt necessarily the right thing to do either keith had no idea of what zarkon was capable of (pick your battles - going in blind isnt exactly advisable and coran even TELLS him not to do it. coran has been shown to have known more, which is a given considering he was present 10000 years ago)

also shiro doesnt have blind faith in keith for a long time now, canon has been hinting that shiro and keith have a backstory shiro knows keith better than anyone else because the rescue from the garrison was very clearly not their first meeting ("its good to have you back", “its good to be back”)

also the insinuation that shiro is not fit to lead because he has ptsd... yikes i dont think i need to elaborate on why exactly that implication is yikes-worthy

its true that keith displays leadership potential early on in the show but this doesnt necessarily mean that shiro isnt a good leader and that keith is automatically better

shiro isnt perfect, but hes a great leader canon has told us time and time again that keith has to grow into the role

(also the reason keith follows shiro and not the other way around: shiro changed his life. shiro is a positive person in his life and keith both trusts and relies on him because shiro didnt give up on him. this is why he follows shiro)

shiro doesnt "hold him back" shiros done nothing but push keith forward and support him keith would be insulted if someone thought shiro was any less than his biggest supporter (”if it wasnt for you, my life would have been a lot different”, “shiro is the only person who didnt give up on me - i wont give up on him”) shiro showing keith reason and explaining why they cant follow through on some of the things keith wants to do isnt "holding him back"

its true keith sees a lot of good stuff in shiro but the same is true for shiro to keith its mutual and shiro tells keith he wants him to lead voltron not because he doesnt want keith to follow him and wants to follow keith instead he tells keith this because shiro acknowledges that sometimes in war, things happen he could die and hes had some close calls he wants keith to lead because he knows he can trust keith to lead the team he knows that if keith leads, even if hes gone the team will be left in capable hands hes been trying to nurture that

4) in regards to keith stopping pidge from leaving and shiro stopping keith

keith is right about pidge putting two people over the universe however shiro is right about how you cant force people to be part of the team you dont nurture bonds that way you dont build a team that way

why? how do you expect to build a functioning team if a member is reluctant to be part of it

personally speaking, when i dont want to do something i dont end up doing the thing as well as i could be and im unhappy doing the thing the whole time

thats not good for the team shiro knows this and so, if pidges mind really cant be changed, he wont force her to stay also, paladins can be replaced and im sure shiro knows that considering when they first met allura, she asked them what happened to the blue lions paladin they know there were paladins before they know that they are not the first they are not the only paladins

it wouldve set them back, but if they really needed to, theyd look for a new green paladin to take pidges place you cant fight a war with someone who isnt willing to fight a war

also to say that shiro doesnt care about finding the holts as much is just.. first of all, weve established that shiro puts their purpose first im more sure that he wants to find them and just knows they dont have the time to put all their focus on finding two people when a universe is at stake

whether they have to find a new green paladin hinges on pidge, but hes not going to force her to stay besides, forcing someone to stay and fight a war... it doesnt sound like a good idea, ultimately keiths heart is in the right place and he has the right idea, but theres more to being a leader than telling people what to do its a job that requires understanding, especially for the people within the team

its true it wouldve been dangerous for pidge, but shiro is a recently escaped captive from the galra empire this, in addition to who he seems to be as a person... i think the last thing he wants to do is keep someone somewhere against their will and force them into doing something

and shiro telling keith he wants him to lead wasnt him trying to force the role on keith he was trying to give voltron the biggest winning chance in the event that he would be unable to lead them (for obvious reasons considering theyre fighting a war)

and thats about everything i have to say but im just leaving these here to organize some of those thoughts its kind of a mess but i tried to address everything i order as best as i could

#voltron #shiro #keith #meta #for lack of a better term #idk what to call this #but i wanna have a place i can easily access it so thats as good as any #cmei rambles

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a-mess-with-no-finesse · 7 years

Text

So @mariah-dont-carey tagged me to answer all of these but tumblr blocked the post from my innocent eyes

1. describe your idea of a perfect date

Honestly im a sappy bastard and would love to go stargazing for a date

2. whats your “type”

I don’t understand “types” but i guess dorks/anybody i can just have a good laugh with

3. do you want kids?

I absolutely adore kids, and ideally I want lots of kids (okay maybe not a lot but they’re adorable) but if i dont have kids it wont kill me. I’ll be the coolest aunt and I’ll hopefully be a teacher one day

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?

I don’t have a preference. It doesn’t matter how the kid ends up being my child.

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been on

Playing foosball (and kicking her ass at it btw) at a Pizzeria in my hometown

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)

....I haven’t even kissed anyone I don’t know how to be a person I can barely keep my shit together while making eye contact so I imagine my first time will be a mess but meh maybe it’ll be a good mess

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?

Let’s see. It’s 2am. So I’d say its a pretty good bet to say I’m a night time gay.

8. opinion on nap dates?

Fuck yeah give me all the nap dates

9. opinion on brown eyes?

I have brown eyes and I call my eyes turd orbs. However, on other people i like them.

10. dog gay or cat gay?

i can’t decide i love them both

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?

Considering I am someone who owns a bearded dragon and have owned an adorable bald rat, yes I absolutely would date them.

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone

how they treat other people/strangers, or if our humor/energies don’t mesh because awkward painful interactions are unbearable

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?

well i didn’t know what gay meant I thought it was just an insult so when i did find out what it was i had very negative assumptions because of the conditioned response i developed

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self

who gives a fuck what people think of you, speak up, be openly excited and dorky, and don’t be scared to be different. Never let someone tear down your happiness

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?

16. who is an ex you regret?

um none it was an experience that was necessary and I don’t regret it. guys i’m a baby gay.

17. night club gay or cafe gay?

definitely a cafe gay. over stimulation is not my kind of fun

18. who is one person you would “go straight” for

hmm let me think oh yeah none

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?

video game/book gay

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)

Clarke and Lexa

21. favourite gay youtuber

Rose and Rosie

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?

no because i’ve asked out one person

23. have you ever been in love?

yes

24. have you ever been heartbroken?

i break my own heart so sure

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someone

do i look like i know whats going on in my head? because i never know what im feeling so no i dont determine shit for shit

26. favourite lgb musician/band

Hayley Kiyoko

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gays

take your time figuring yourself out dont rush it dont force anything just be okay with being patient and putting that puzzle together itll be okay

28. are you out? if so how did you come out

yes, but apparently its still a surprise to some people. I came out to my friends verbally or text. I sent my mom the coming out song by ally hills and i texted the rest of my family.

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have

This isn’t uncomfy but funny. my friend Simon stole my phone and was on my snapchat story recording himself whispering repetitively “Payton’s gay” and in the background I yelled “That would be correct you dork.” Before I knew I was gay he used to text my mom that I was, and now he texts her that im straight.

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexuality

It gets better. We have a tough skin. We will persist. You will persist.

#ask game #this is such a long fucking ask thing #brady why why why why would you make me do all #anyways murder me

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gobbochune · 7 years

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I literally have a stage management BFA and still know next to nothing about the Heathers musical. Enlighten me on why it is The Worst.

Disclaimer: I have not seen the play live, only shitty cam recordings on youtube and anamatics of the popular songs. If there is a level of nuance to the play that I missed in modern performances, feel free to correct me. The same could be said for the film, but I have had no exposure to the film so I am not including it in this rant.

Part 1. “This situation does not exist.”

So like, I get it. you wanna have your relatable portrayal of highschool and with the cliques and drama and the petty squabbles of the popular vs unpopular kids is often magnified by inexperience and raging hormones. Everyone remembers highschool as being more intense then it actually was, so often the melodrama in these sorts of stories is amped up to eleven.

The ‘Popular Clique’ characters are never going to act like any rational person would ever act. When you’re a boring loser in highschool you will instinctively find ways to put yourself above the people who you consider to be your ‘enemy’. You’re smarter then them, they’re all druggy sluts, you’re a good person etc.

But the reason why this trope works is because its often presented from the perspective of the teenager, but by the end of the narrative has widened to a more mature point of view. We learn that everyone has their own shit going on, their own insecurities n crap, and by the end of the narrative the characters have literally and figuratively ‘graduated’ from the naive idea that there are inherently good and bad people.

But Heathers is not about that.

The popular girls are actually satan. Listen to that song “Candy Store” and think to yourself “do these characters feel like actual people? can i imagine how or why the girls act like this?”

The reason why popular girls are more popular then you is usually because they’re better then you. They’re prettier, funnier, nicer, or altogether more charismatic, and it still boggles my mind that anyone in this school would care what these Heathers bitches think of them. I actually knew girls like the Heathers in highschool myself, and everyone mutually hated them and ragged on them behind their backs because of how vapid and annoying they were. They had power over the freshmen for maybe five minutes before their targets found their own friends to hang out with those bitches are left in the fucking dust.

And its not just a misconception of the main character, no she seems to be the only girl in her whole fucking school who is like “Um, maybe its????bad to be mean???” and the story treats her like she’s some fucking martyr for it. They even sing a song parodying the fact that a decent highschool narrative you’d expect Heather to be a human being with emotions, by having main girl make up a bunch of bullshit about “Pretty girls have feelings.” the whole thing seems to be a big fuck you to highscool narrative tropes but instead of going in a more realistic direction it just spirals into a petty unrelatable hell.

Part 2: “If this situation did exist, it wouldn’t be happening to this character.”

Does anyone else find it incredibly far fetched that for some reason whenever a bunch of beautiful teenagers pick on another equally beautiful teenager its usually just because they dont like the color of her hair? I wanna know when we as a society decided that the shorthand for evil beauty is blonde hair, not because I find the trope harmful but just because it feels lazy.

Why isn’t Veronica one of the popular kids? Because she’s a brunette. Why does everyone treat the Heathers like royalty? Because they’re blonde. Does being blonde somehow make you a terrible person? I guess so. Its just a mutually agreed thing at this point.

But again the reason why the blonde vs brown thing works in other highschool dramas is because the entire thing is based on the main character being petty, and in reality the brown haired girl is just as popular and surrounded by friends she just doesnt realize it because she’s too busy being jealous of some other bitch.

Veronica is not this. For some reason, a beautiful, intelligent, kind, and generally cool girl has no friends besides The Fat One and everyone treats her like garbage. The fact that she has to seek “protection” from the Heathers at lunch because she gets bullied just for existing would be hilarious if it wasnt so pretentious.

The play lets is know in no uncertain terms that Veronica is the only decent student at her school, and that none of the ostracization she feels is in her head. Its all real. They all hate her because she’s good and they’re bad, and there is zero tongue and cheek about it. The whole thing feels like a play within another piece of media. Like maybe theres a playwrite who is trying to depict her highschool experience, and its intentionally written to be as shallow and petty as her memories there.

And even that might be okay if she is portrayed as being just a huge fucking whimp who lets people walk all over her, but nooooo she’s a strong female character! She sings a whole song about how she’s not gonna put up with their shit or let it bother her anymore and says she’s gonna fight back before they ‘come after her’.

Is anyone going to tell her that murder isn’t usually a thing that bullies do?

Like seriously. Bullying is a huge problem that can seriously damage people from the inside out, but its usually not because of any physical damage. If she’s decided that she doesnt give a shit about the Heathers, then thats it. She’s already won. They can’t touch her anymore because if she doesnt care then they’ll inevitably grow bored and do something else. she even has her own friends to hang out with now so its not like she’s being threatened in that way either. But instead she makes a big deal about how she’s a ‘dead girl walking’ like she thinks she’s gonna be shanked in the locker room or something.

But then we get to JD.

Oh Jason Dean, you poor innocent soul. Unlike Veronica this kid is actually a victim of bullying and abuse, but its not from the so called ‘popular kids’, its from fucking Veronica herself.

Part 3. “Are we not going to talk about the fact Veronica raped a dude?”

Yeah. That shit happened. Here’s the official lyrics:

J.D.(spoken) Veronica? What’re you doing in my room?

VERONICA(spoken) Shhhh.Sorry, but I really had to wake you;See, I decided I must ride you till I break you.'Cause Heather says I got to go;You’re my last meal on death row.Shut your mouth and lose them tighty-whities!Come on!Tonight I’m yours,I’m a dead girl walking!Get on all fours,Kiss this dead girl walking!Let’s go, you know the drill;I’m hot and pissed and on the pill.Bow down to the will of a dead girl walking!

Like I know later on in the song he gives consent n’ shit but its more framed like he lets her because he’s intimidated more then anything else. And whats more from this point onward in the play Veronica pretty much becomes JD’s only emotional outlet.

As someone whose known a lot of guys in this situation I can tell you that often they will do things they don’t want to to impress the people who they think are their only ally in life. More then anything these kinds of kids just want someone on their side, and will be roped into whatever toxic shit they need to keep these people with them.

Veronica goes through this guilty arc thing where she blames herself for ‘creating’ him but ultimately realizes that he was always doomed to be this way because of his shitty situation.

How fucking evil is it to perpetuate this idea? Oh no, Veronica isnt a bad person, she was just trying to help this kid by wrapping him around her finger and making him kill the people she doesn’t like but really its his fault for having a shitty childhood.

The song “Meant to be Yours” is supposed to be a picture of how twisted and evil JD has become in following revenge, but in reality its nothing like that. It wasnt his revenge, he was doing it for her. Veronica very much did break into his life and rip him to pieces for no reason other then she wanted a lackey to help her get revenge on people who shouldn’t have even bothered her in the first place.

But no, he is ‘damaged’, and the only way to redeem him is to blow himself up so the girl who destroyed him wont have to accept any of the consequences for her actions.

How the hell does Veronica ‘make things better’ at the end? She slaps a bitch and plans a sleepover. She was already doing that in the beginning. Why did JD have to die? He didnt. He fucking didnt. And the worst thing is that no even cares that he’s gone.

Not even Veronica.

She treats him like some kind of tragic monster that had to be killed for the good of mankind and everyone just fucking accepts it.

So just a recap: Blonde people are evil, everyone will hate you for being a saint, its okay to rape teenage boys if you’ve properly gaslighted them first, and if you are ‘damaged, far too damaged’ it is your responsibility to kill yourself so your abuser can be popular like she always wanted.

What a great show. 10/10. hope it runs forever.

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glopratchet · 4 years

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jase

page 14,067 You think to yourself "with enough time, anything's possible" brush your teeth Well not everything As hard as you try, with your pass-able looks and natural charisma, you couldn't convince a regular girl to settle down with you There was of course the time you got close Really close You could almost taste it But events didn't quite turn out in your favor, giving birth to your desire for revenge against these menacing criminals that took everything away while keeping the status quo in the background, you prepare the vehicle for tonight The heavy modified hoverbike sitting in your parking space in the Apartment-Boat you call home could bu handy if anything happens tonight A quick look in the mirror and you make sure your kutte is straight Time to fire this festering hole eventually door shuts behind !!!!!" "What did you just say?" You bend your head to your scruffy looking "girlfriend" "Darling" "I said he, are we or aren't we eating an alligator burger tonight?! Come on! We are going to be late! her fingernails nervously as she wears her construction outfit in your room She didn't work to day, but instead wanted you to show you this new opening at a Gallery You roll on the bed and sit up to catch a napping Cello, "uhh I dunno Bri, I'm supposed "No excuses! We are going, be ready, meet me there, DON'T BE LATE! Whole alligator dinner , assemble or eat Last weekend on my break from capture the flag, I stayed with my father, and his new bride "Darling" has no blood relation to me, but she feeds me bugs everyday and lets play near the construction sites We love to ride the huge trucks and dump them Once we were playing catch with a grenade since we thought it was a medicine ball Right before it blew up, dad came running at us with his eyes bigger than us Now that I rely use some filters and stay near sea I do not get to eat opening acts 4 minutes ago Well back in the day, I had an assassin try to take me out at their main encampment This was years ago when the ED and GC were still allies My public reason was to get some fuel for the trip to Nine-Oak, my real motive well to this day I'm not quite sure but it must've been important since I honestly thought I wasn't going to make it out of there and owner Door 5 The smell overtakes the sensors While 4 channels show a heavy dose of psychosis swinging back and forth with tylium injections, a brighter side appears You nearly see hope Her quarters are the large one at the top of everyone's screens covered with a one way window; perfect for spying and collecting intel, while maintaining necessary top security Also, you instantly recognize this families logo Your mind draws a blank then slowly; a blurry memory resurfaces ! Now! The writing on the walls is like no language you've ever seen, but you can make out a few familiar shapes Your mind struggles Zukhara? No, much older "Darling" hasn't moved an inch Quickly she grabs the image of an alligator in a fine crafted cherry wood frame from the wall and throws it on the floor with a loud crack The mirror and painting lay shattered and displayed on the ground or the paintings for dinner? And that other thing, whatever it was Be my guest! You pull yourself out of the seat and slowly walk to an empty space on the wall where you open a hidden safe Typewriter and stacks of cash fill the drawer as you sit down and start writing a note While your writing doesn't exactly look like calligraphy, presumably this will still be counted as "artwork" finish it and then mount it on an alligator skin I believe? Well if it'll honor you prefer the skin? Nothing's stopping you now, assuming he is on the level then both will be coming from our rations tomorrow night along with a bottle of 1975 empire Zinfandel which should make a fine adhesive, provided the gluing is up to the quality of your current paintings Your collection should look flawless The door opens as a slight breeze pushes it further into the room pay money to own some of that, shining in black frames on the red walls, alligator skin flooring and a genuine Empire zin Please give our compliments to genius chef as soon as he has time Research Assistants - University of Progensberg Your art is now top secret Even if anyone thought the colorful swirls were anything more than bits to be analysed they wont get far before it's taken out of general circulation , good thing arnt they one of the few human like species discovered it'd be a shame to see them go extinct before we had a chance to eat them Year 595 Research: While the painting sub branch isn't exactly mundane, you don't feel like it's enough creative outlet for today How will this help forging a GC post extinction legacy? You need to be doing more smelling faintly of paint and on most occasions you see red, blue or purple flash before your eyes Congratulations, after 500 years since the inception of the project it appears urantra brain secretes some kind of purple pigment for decoration purposes At this point we don't care, just take it and inject it into your veins almost as much as a fine bottle of empire zin The purple lightning strikes outside seem brighter and warmer these days, might just be the drugs talking though Almost done with this batch and then it's a few months of off book research Wanna come with? to EAT animals but not ok to EAT people or OTHER human like species, or elves or anything like that After rereading Anecia's speech you realize how close the average person is to becoming their food source Hopefully this research will earn a bit of trust that you aren't planning on eating them probably I heard that! And no im not coming with you, ill just be here waiting than they'd want to hurt Anecia They are essential for milk and cheese after all That being said, when your racing home after a hard day at the lab, hoping that tonight might treat you to some Anecian Stuffed Peppers, how often do you think about where the meat in that casserole really came from? And where did the cow come from anyways? Was it just walking around one day when it decided to become lunch? ? plus they taste good You were always told that dragons where monsters that scorched the earth and sky alike but now your standing here arms deep in a corpse of one The first dragon you've ever slain, and its wings are actually alot smaller then you thought If your parents could see you now, how proud they would be They'd probably question their training however, and rightfully so but still you had this one in the bag all along to realize, be it hook, spear or net, the dragon had little chance of escape With your own particular set of skills, you have this wyrm failling to a blow from above Year 600 You meet mr Average Person (read:secretary) early in the week with the to-do list every sunday you have to go over everything with him and give some sort of idea of what the team is going to work on two months from now or the intense studies of the Purple ichor's amazing healing properties? Question 6 (1,798 voters, tcoh_input@yahoo com) Hello nice to meet you roommate! tell me about yourself Name: Sun LiRace: Black TrollClass: PlayboyER demigodSTR! 30INT! 30WIS! 40 AGI! 50LUCK! 70SKILL! 56TRAIT! 18 let's see your father ran before he took you away Since that is no doubt who your roommate is let's see if we can figure that out There are roughly 100 students at this school about 25 are demi human and half of them are races that could easily be your roommate (or would that be roommers?) Of the remaining human race half of them are girls hmmm 1 in 4 now that probably isn't right If your more of gun nut check the lastest firearms at [kroger market] beer !!! if i were a teamate in this, what would my role be? (ans: Captain Kirk) if you don't find the quest fun anymore you can get The big you go, the harder it gets and more danger you're in with the law getting in your way many snatchers have been shanked because they tried to use deadly force Common based snatchers are in it for a quick buck, so as such they won't try to take on an entire orc tribe by themselves They'll hit lone caravans and small to mid sized groups of merchants Most cases the black market isn't a criminal underworld full of dangerous felons and relentless mana-vampires as it is a bunch of bored immortals trying to pass the time One of these things is the demon market, located in the third layer of hell (dashit) , with a 50% savediscount! As the thief harvest goes on, something a bit odd stands out to you In each and every case of missing persons a lot of them were last seen in the area around Kroger's region That supermarket is either running a regular scam or is involved in this somehow It wouldn't be the strangest thing you've seen, and it certainly wouldn't be the worst crime organization By questioning the store manager, it becomes clear that he knows exactly what's going on at your supermarket The hell is this? This smelly bigfoot goes by many names, from dogman, to the grizzy, to bigfoot, yet in all cases it is all the same creature Some say it's a werecreature of some sort while others believe them to just be a rare species that has managed to avoid discovery all these years But fact is, they look like bigfoot and that's good enough for you with the scope With this mode, each gun has a different "feel" to it You'll need to spend some time with this to master precision shooting There's aiming on the move, finding your range, and many other types of shooting Since you've only got the one shot, make it a good one To shoot or not to shoot With a deer carcuss near it You find the creature standing outside for some reason with one shot Not such an easy task, considering you're pretty far away Your standard iron sights are going to have to do since you don't have an optic for this gun It's a bit tough since when you use this gun from the hip it's over 20 pounds, so getting your aim steady is important Fortunately for you there's no wind so you just have to account for your lateral movement and launch the round There's fur, blood and entrails everywhere It's easy meat to take back and sell, which is important, because you're not getting it for free after your hunt congrats op you've more than doubly profited from this encounter Choose: deer skin or alligator skin Oh ick totals Maybe this game would be a little easier with higher caliber guns, or at least ones that can accept scopes The noise really isn't worth it though since all you're doing is driving away any game in the area In the future it might be worth going furless, but for now all those useless bits can be turned into ichorium explosives , as usual So, loot and sell the gall bladder, liver, heart, intestines and maybe even a tooth or two Keep these offable parts in your pack until you get home, then put them in the fridge If you need more storage get a cooler or upgrade the house comes, sell more parts to him then cook dinner for you and your buddy While preparing the meat for cooking have some guests come over They brought a few six packs of brew with them Go ahead and share the wealth You should put it in your new fridge After eating, showing off a bit and having a generally good time its time to hit the hay You fell asleep on the couch so move yourself to the bed at 12 99 a person Ohh monetization Tonight's profit: 2168 ichorium shares, 8 silver, 4 quarters Days passed in the marsh and you still don't have Clyde or Fen just a lot of wet feet You do however have eaten everything in your fridge even the bait, so you're going to have to get more food or eat something inedible again like the alligator fleshes you've got hanging around The thought haunts you throughout the day and night It's really throwing off your concentration, you can't wait for this time to be over so you can bag a couple of wyverns First thing in the morning you sharpen your rifle and put on your pack This is going to be the day Not once, but twice people from the fort come and see if you're around and suddenly everyone wants to see me And they'res not just a few people they're like 18 of them You were out hunting so you weren't around to whlect their calls, replys or even show up while prying eyes were watching Instead they get your mildly annoyed brother in law to talk to them They leave dissapointed and unanswered Then you jump in and make things worse You wander into the fort to pick up a few things at the store and who do you find there? The same two wyvern jockeys that approached you To your surprise they knew you were out here, but even more surprising was what one of them said while the other looked on in silence "We would've been better off if you hadn't helped us at all Did I really do that much damage? You tried to wave them off and assure them of the contrary but they left shortly there after You could only hope they would come to appreciate what you did for them in time Just then an all too familiar symbol caught your attention, staring up at you from a wanted poster it was Clyde! Or rather Commander Ram himself If you wore a mask around here people might mistake you for someone else But what does it say about us that someone like him was able to take charge in the first place? You were Clyde There was no denying it But you couldn't hunt him down, not after what happened The poor sap that did finally catch up with him on that wanted notice looked a lot like Mason, even had a family resemblance It wasn't him, but it could've been What would you do if you found him, put a gun to his head and drag him back? It was a tempting idea but he probably wouldn't get far and in your current mood you might not be able to bring yourself to help if someone else was beating him to within an inch of his life It was shameful, but the best thing you could do for him right now was stay away However he still needed to be brought to justice, the way he was gallivanting around the countryside rounding up god knew who and throwing them in his cells was bad for business People would begin to unite against him and that could be far worse bandits, mercenaries, wary townies, kobolds all with one collective ideology: Fear Something you only engendered towards yourself and justified with your greater purpose To lose that power could cost you your survival! No, Ram had to be brought to justice, but not by you The best way of erasing your past was to put some distance between it and yourself You'd head west, maybe head out to sea or even up north to where the gnomes and their contraptions came from A new frontier, there had to be one yet untapped But before you could begin your new life you had to make one last trip out to the woods and see how Detlaf and Ranon were progressing on their logging town (You didn't want to go out there again ever but beggars can't be choosers ) You found them both cutting down trees like it was going out of style, which with the influx of new settlers it very well might Seeing you ride up they finally take a break You didn't really have to, but it was a convenient excuse to just sit there pulling up your shirt sleeve and scratching at your glowing badge of honor Your beam of light may have been gone, but it would never fade from your arm You came to accept that, you only wished you could do the same with the scars that wrapped around your back Still, the badges were going to come in handy as you've managed to use them as a conversation starter "See something you like Mason?" Ranon playfully sneered while waggling his eyebrows He probably didn't even realize what he was doing but you just let it slide and carry on with what you needed "That town you were working on looks like its coming along well "Town?" Ranon said with some pride "Haram, it's a city now King Sylvester himself stopped by recently to give his official endorsement Lot of people flooding to it You were genuinely happy for both of them but the news did stop you for a moment A whole another kingdom? If a place that big could form that fast just from one bandit gang then wherever you end up things were going to be very different Actually now that you thought about it considering how big the kingdom must be there was probably anothere bandit gang somewhere else doing much the same thing you were Bandits: Been there, done that It probably hadn't even been a year yet and already the game was up Well in for a coin, in for a Rai-ken You had made your decision and your destination doesn't matter as long as its a new frontier and they needed doctors right? Well maybe you'd stick to frontier clinics, but that was still medicine Might even get to put those old bandit skills of stealing from the sick for the good of the community Time would tell In any case you had some people to see and from there you'd make your plans Your next destination was Rask and then beyond it! Or so you thought Funny how things worked out, but it was the calm before the storm You laid down to sleep on your bed one night and then you heard a loud noise followed by the house shaking as if there was an earth quake going on Your rabbits in a stew because none of the furniture broke but everything ended up in disarray and broken pottery was everywhere One of your manticores came running in from one of the other rooms having been spooked by the noise if the trampled flower vase and rolling obei seeds meant anything You were still half-awake and pretty startled yourself, but instincts kicked in and you moved towards your rifle, thinking it was hostiles or something By the time you got into the living room and realized what happened it was over And just in time too, because you heard Naji let out an unearthly shriek of pain from her bedroom next door

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celestialallstars · 5 years

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Episode #6: “Can i PLEASE get a blindside.” - Jared

ok so basically the game has been sooo quiet and ive like. felt dead. idk. i had a breakdown last night bc of it and i cried on my couch (KNOW THERE WAS A LOT MORE THAN THIS LKSDJGKLDSGLS I WOULDNT CRY PURELY BC OF THAT) but yaaa and now im better but like the entire day i was throwing up in class (or like feeling anxious im exaggerating sorry) about going home.

i didnt want mo out but with that being said i didnt want anyone out?? after i mentioned to him that stephen/mo were targeting each other, rhys came to me with the idea that like him jared chloe and i should make a chat, and i was down for that bc it would secure my positioning and like ALSGKSDG who'd flip on an alliance THIS early.. right?? right..

chloe was really not talkative with me. stephen/jared were active so i appreciate that immensely. im just thrown off. i dont really know who i can or cant trust.

OK ALSO SIDE NOTE CHRIS SENT ME [IM NOT EXAGGERATING] 55+ MSGS SPILLING TEA ABOUT HOW THE TUATHA HAD AN OG ALLIANCE WITH EVERYONE BUT MITCH + MAYNOR - which i knew about but LASKGLDKS AHHHH. and he leaked that stephen wanted kori/bryce targeted and i leaked that to bryce to further stephens target. IM JUST SO MESSY LOL

also i kind of predicted a swap likeee omfg. and i dont know how i feel. i kind of felt safe on my tribe??? but like.. oh no. anyway, my tribe isnt super dominant in challenges or anything (compared 2 the other tribe who has bryce/stephen/drew), but i think we can win a lipsync since we have a woman, gay men, and a metrosexual male who has an outgoing personality (and i mean that in the nicest way obviously). IDK I HOPE WE WIN BC THAT TRIBAL WAS HORRIFIC AND I LOVE MO SO MUCH AND AHH.

ill probs give a video soon in more depth with what chris said. yalls deserve it.. oops period.

I HOPE YALL CAN FORGIVE ME. im eating hotdog. bye bye love u all.

Wow I like the whole tribe! Alyssa is probably my front runner of talking and honestly she's great! I am in her spell ahhhh but hey JARED is here too woo! I think at least with Mitch and Zach too I'll be safe but I'll see! This challenge could either go really well or really badly for us but I'm excited to do anything creativity!!

I absolutly love my tribe at the moment, i'm getting along well with alot of them except Kori who i haven't spoken to much at all but im confident in our abilities to win! Jared is talking a little bit about wanting the game to pick up a little bit and i agree to some extent however blindsiding someone just for the sake of a blindside isn't smart gameplay so im just gonna lay low nd continue making those strong bonds here there and everywhere to hopfully come out on top should we end up at tribal

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Can i PLEASE get a blindside

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hi it's 6 am but rhys fucking filmed vertically so if we lose he automatically has my vote

I feel good but also scared. I dont think I'll do as good of a job as I hope, but it also is turning out decently so far. My biggest concern is time. With having work tomorrow, I can only do the editing on my lunch break of 90 minutes, then whenever i get home which probably wont be until 6, given the upload time that leaves me with about 3 hours in total. Hopefully I'll be able to work with Rhys and Jack's stuff, as i think it'll be easier for me to do it then. Regardless, I'm gonna be a zombie but LOL this is the second Wednesday in a row I stayed up late except this is not for school and instead of 3 hours, ima get 2 hours of sleep haha that is so sad and funny and heebee jeebee zoinks, alright goodnight

Two things: 1) there's really nothing quite like making a fool of yourself multiple times in a single org, just to be immune for one round. 2) i am horrible at looking for idols

So Matt just told me he thinks we’re gonna have a double tribal right before merge which is like ew I hate that throw it out please, speaking of throwing out uh Kori can go because he’s wearing on my nerves like yes we’re gonna get things done on time calm down please and thanks.

these people are actually delulu if they think that video is winning. no fucking way we are winning. time to go to tribal!

So the swap has happened, and I get what is almost probably my worst case scenario player-wise. All of my close allies, with the exception of Kori, are currently on Cyrena. Meaning that winning immunity isn't even really good, since it puts them in danger.

I think there's a way to make this bad situation good though. Getting to finally work with Michael, Matt, Loris, and Drew can actually be a blessing in disguise. If I get on their good sides now, they might clue me into their plans once merge rolls around. That's the hope, anyway. For now my goal is just to survive being swapped with a bunch of people I've barely spoke to!

The past 24 hours have been major toughie for me. Staying up late and then trying to manage editing a video, work, and time constraints, and I won't lie, its been exhausting, but I didn't want to let my tribe down, or anyone down I guess. A little ways through, I kinda felt pretty defeated and then learning at last minute it was due an hour before I predicted made me panic A LOT internally, but it does seem like the tribe likes it so if we do lose and if they do vote me out, I can look back at this and feel like I did something right.

Well a lots happened and to be honest at times life and this game move too quick for me to even remember if I've mentioned it. We swapped, and I'm trying to just keep myself afloat however I can.

The challenge was overly stressful and I have no idea if we'll pull it out. Editing has been so stressful and I've found new appreciation for the people that do it. I just hope whatever I whip together will just be enough so that I can breathe and really take stalk of my new situation.

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So, I haven't been around a whole bunch recently. However I'm glad we didn't go to tribal, that could've been a reason if my name came up. So I'm glad I have time to more cement my bonds on this tribe and keep my name out of peoples mouths.

We JUST WON IMMUNITY WOOHOO. I was kind of nervous with a music challenge considering the only other one I did previously I did not do the greatest in :P. Both videos were amazing and im so glad Eve and Jones's mom liked ours significantly greater than the other one! As far as my position is concerned, I am reunited with Jared and our relationship is still strong I think so that's good. Stephen I am HOPING will be ok by just latching on to Kori at least for premerge. Those two are still the ones I trust the most, but I also like Alyssa Chris and Zach. I WISH i could connect more with jack, but i feel like every time we play together it gets more difficult to hold a conversation, so that's a yikes. Jared myself and stephen are diligently working on the idol search, but it's likely already found. I'm pretty sure there are too many components for someone to just find it by themselves

WELL. Im a target tonight! God we really do love that for me. We really do. Kori, eat my fucking ass. You leave me on read all the time. And then you have the NERVE. THE ACTUAL NERVE. to be like "omg stop slipping in my dm's!" Boo if you didn't leave me on read constantly then maybe i would actually want to speak to you! an actual moron. And then STEPHEN HAS THE FUCKING AUDACITY to me like "ya lol i'll be at tribal i'll make the decision between you and Kori at tribal!". BOI. THAT IS NOT HOW YOU GET TRUST IN SOMEONE. Its fucking ridiculous. Thank god Michael is in my corner, hopefully drew and bryce too. I am NOT getting 15th right now, no way. I am BETTER than this. i am going to make it work, tim gunn style. maybe its time to break the fajitas and channel their energy once again

Why do I go on the initiative literally ever? I'm clearly bad at it, I wasn't even remotely thinking things through and I SHOULD have let Stephen or someone else suggest someone but no I had to be mildly greedy and wanna send home Matt whom I barely DM.

I already flopped editing the video, and now here I am flopping the social/stategy game that I love playing supposedly.

Of course I tried reaching out to Michael and Drew FOOLISHLY because I wanted to build trust and maybe work with them. So naturally Michael tells Matt because ofc they'd be close as would Drew probably since he and Michael have been together since Day 1. As it stands I'm stuck praying Loris is gonna vote with me and it just sucks because I'm so bad at this game.

I'm trying to keep a cool head right now because there's still time. Stephen and I are trying to work logistics, see if we need to switch the vote to say Michael in case of an idol, but I'm not sure Loris/Bryce would be on board for that.

There's a pretty good chance that I'm definitely dead. But I'ma fight to the bitter end!

Today I learned from Stephen that Kori is in some dangerous water. He I guess said Matt's name to Michael who told Matt and now them and Drew are voting Kori. However Bryce and Stephen and perhaps Loris are all voting Matt. Now this is good if it works because honestly that group having to endure their numbers dwindling is good for my game. It only leaves Jack and Alyssa but I think we better be careful because I can see both of them slipping through the inevitable war zone that is gonna be happening.

Today's been a pretty informative day for me. After losing the immunity challenge by a hair, I was worried because I didn't think I had bonded very well with my current tribe through One World, luckily for me, that doesn't seem to be their biggest concern at the moment.

During the initial stages of the vote, I talked to Kori and the two of us decided Matt would be the easiest target to take out. I was leaning towards voting Matt because we hadn't talked very much, so hearing Kori was on board right away simplified things for sure. Bryce and Loris both seem to be on board with it too so I shouldn't have anything to worry about at this point.

In the morning, things got a whole lot more complicated. Matt found out he was the target through Michael, and began his campaign to get Kori out instead of himself. I'm not entirely sure why Michael decided to do this, but it doesn't make much of a difference at this point. Matt campaigned to me, and I sorta pretended to be on the fence. I was listening to what he said, but Kori is realistically one of my closest allies, there's no way I'm voting him out to side with people I had just met.

Once campaign season got under way, I had a conversation with Chris. Chris tells me that on original Orfeo, him, Loris, and Zach believed there was an alliance of Chloe/Sharky/Drew/Michael formed. This explains not only why Sharky was seen as an easy boot on swap-Tuatha, but also why Michael wants to keep Matt instead of Kori. With Chloe re-joining after tribal, him/Drew/Chloe/Matt would form a tight majority. Without Matt, they're a minority.

I proposed an idea to switch the vote from Matt to Michael or Drew. I said it was because I was worried about an idol, but this alliance is the real reason I wanted to do it. However, Kori, Loris, and Bryce are comfortable with the status quo and since it's not my neck on the line I didn't feel the need to push too hard.

Me, Kori, and Bryce now also have an alliance with Loris, which is cool? I haven't gotten very close with Loris yet but he seems like a smart player tied to Chris and Zach which spells good things for us working together in the future. Assuming I survive this vote and have a future, of course.

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hi I think I might make it past final 15 that’s nice umm... I suggested an alliance of me Bryce Stephen Kori to counter the potential power of chloe Matt Michael and drew once chloe joins our tribe because my brain is massive. but now we’re like scared for idols . scary shih anyways like how r u I’m good.

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oh huh tribes r gonna be even again next round... so I have to make this conf by default just in case of a you know what wait no anna u said no more 24 hour challenges QUEEN ... thank god I can’t be bothered to delete this so she’s being SENT

Right now there's so many things running through my head with the introduction of Matts vote steal, because realistically i could convince him to give to me or i could keep him around as a potential shield. I don't want to do it to the guy but also a vote steal could shift the tides of the game in my favour later down the line. so it's a difficult decision and one id rather have more time to contemplate.

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Wooo ok operation vote steal is a go and next round we’ll be swimming in green hopefully but with one world sis og tribe lines just ain’t it!

God im over this tribal. Like ugh these people really are under Kori's mist so like im probably going home. Do I think i might be able to survive? a small glimmer of hope says yes, but i'm not confident. God im just... so annoyed at this. Im clearly on the outs here and I just HOPE i can pull through i just am so scared. I know if i do leave though that I have fought my damn hardest to stay tonight. Im trying to think of the positives because its hard to do so because im being sad atm.. UGH. the fajitas really have failed me tonight, their light has dimmed and their guidance is no more. i am now with the darkness. we r one.

Oh my fucking god my heart is breaking. Matt is basically in such a deep hole he's going to go home, unless he plays an idol. And Alyssa has an idol. And she doesn't think it's smart to use it on him because Michael says he's just gonna go home next round. His social game hasn't been up to snuff and they're gonna boot him regardless, so she wants to keep us with power and let him go. And I agree with her. Which kills me. I'm usually able to just be a robot when it comes to this like yes I will make the smarter decision if it means I'll be emotionally torn, and this is such an instance. Luckily, it's not my idol to give up. Yes Alyssa says it's "our" idol but it's her call end of the day. I just... fuck. This is all stars man. And I'm actually starting to feel, for once.

Well it's about an hour before tribal and at least on it's surface it would seem Matt is going. I'm not confident though because any number of things COULD happen. I'm hoping there's no idol play, just because I feel like pre-merge just isn't a good look for me.

If Matt does pull something off, then kudos to him, and if it's me that'd make this my final confessional for the season. I've had such an amazing time playing and while I feel like I've been playing a lower key game on purpose I feel like I'm doing what I can to really come into my own. I hope the bonds I've made are gonna stick and that everything works out for us.

But if it doesn't I guess I'll have to find a way to be ok with that. This has been such a unique All-Stars experience so far, and I hope I can take what I've gotten from it and make myself better for it. (Also highkey hopefully this isn't my last confessional and I'm getting sentimental for no reason.)

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Kori is voted out 4-3.

#shinebright #episode

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survivormarmoreal · 5 years

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Episode #9: "we're here for the messy bitch game play right" - Annabelle

Tribal was f*ckin wild. Like didnt see that coming and Nicole we literally never talked so dont come for me. 👏

So far Nicole’s attempt hasnt affected anything. And plus Sharky took more of the heat and more blood on his hand and I did for coming up with the Nicole vote. Like im scream team to the end but like it works better for me if people dont see me as a huge threat right now unlike Sharky. I think i might be in a good spot and with an advatage with this immunity hopefully i can win.

Well... I refuse to be booboo the fool right now. I have conflicting information currently about who voted me so guess what? I am not gonna trust anyone LMAO. Everyone is denying and pointing the fingers at others and its fucking pissing me off. Like just own up to voting me so i can have a clear target my fucking god. Like goodbye see you soon!

from my confessional cause i just went off in it LOL about the last tribal: i know brian and sharky did not vote me nate and bryce are being fishy maynor seems non exsistant keaton is literally opening his big mouth and getting himself in more trouble i trust anna enough and nick thinks he is "iconic" for an idol play like boi con-fucking-gratulations that you can do something many have done before you

Like, im so done with these people, just let me play my idol in peace smh

So I basically threw this challenge. I just put myself for most of the positives and I put Keaton for most of the negatives. With a few random answers sprinkled in. I get so nervous about really trying on Touchy Subjects because Im worried about revealing my alliances and stuff. This way I just look cocky. And Keaton and I are already on bad terms so me putting him for the negatives might piss him off but probably not anyone else. Ugh

ok so me snapping and voting matt is really annoying KJFHDSAKJFDHS idk why i did that! i was crazy back then... so current thinking is that me/matt/keaton voted matt. and then nicole did keaton and everyone else did nicole. i dont think anyone suspects me but like they woudlnt tell me if they do FJKASDHFKJ apparently matt thinks that nathan did it and anna thinks that it was keaton and maynor and im just like :| FSAJDHFKD. also this comp is about to ruin me like my answers are def gonna make ppl hate me and plus i wrote myself for some good ones which i never do but idk im just really feeling myself so cant wait for the crushing weight of reality to knock me down a peg or two when i get like "next voted out" "doesnt deserve to be here" AFJKSDFHKAJ but maybe not... anyways i recently got obsessed with shakira again like.. im thriving

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https://i.imgur.com/5o6sz3j.png when i tell u i screamed JKDFASHKJAD

Okay so Touchy Subjects ALWAYS blows up my game. Like I got all the ones that make people target you. Running the Game. Biggest Snake. Physical Threat. I even somehow managed to get "Trust the Most" and "Best Liar". HOW!? And now I'm super worried because if I wasn't on everybody's radar before I sure am now. And I have no idea who I can trust after those rogue Matt votes. I even feel slightly sketched out by Nick. He's acting...weird. And he keeps telling everyone there is a war between me and Keaton. Which I guess is sort of true because Keaton is throwing my name out there. And obviously I would rather him go.

everyone is so extra JKDAHSKFJ matt making a post about how the ppl who are lying and saying they didnt vote him are personally effecting him are terrible like.. ok sorry for not exposing myself get over it u got 3 votes one of which were ur own and maybe if u were more active and didnt reply with one word responses no matter how hard i tried to get u to speak i wouldnt have thrown the vote on u. im just like so over his entitledness that ppl confess to him like who do u think u are KJFHADKJFDH. i feel like maybe im being too mean so if matt reads this after the game im sure ur just in ur feelings or w/e and u did say u had personal stuff going on but like thats not an excuse to go on tirades in the tribe chat when no one but u cares.

keaton is the worst person ive ever met (and i know zach :s) weird of him to choose white ppl saying the n word as his hill to die on but um i got the cannon ready to aim and hes going :airplane: to jury.

OK, so basically Annabelle wins immunity! Good for her, but she's literally not doing enough for me to feel beyond happy for her kjHD... like she's nice and I like her, but at the end of the day, I really don't think she's doing much to propel herself and she's just getting kinda lucky... considering the first and now second immunity have been somewhat luck based... ya....

Keaton's the name being thrown into the mix already (it's only 9:11pm), and I really am fine with that this time around! I like him, but I think he's just someone who can easily go now and it not be bad for me in the future. He's already thrown out Sharky's name and basically called out Sharky to his face, so I'm kinda shaking in my booties. As long as it ain't me, I'm happy enough to listen, but I just don't want any big surprises like the Matt votes, again.

Sharky has been thrown out as the biggest threat in this game right now, and while I think it's very apparent to everyone, I can't have him going anywhere right now. No fucking way. I love the shark man. He's my favorite... he cannot go anywhere... I need him!! So buh-fucking-bye, Keaton! I may like you, but it's not enough to keep you.

Keaton is trash.

Let me elaborate on my previous confessional. So first Keaton tries to call me out for mentioning his name which I didn't do (I did admit to it to save the drama so thats partially on me) but he tries to call me out in public after the vote. Gross. Then after the challenge he starts gunning for me hard. He wants to claim I was doing the same but I wasn't gunning for him very hard. Because i didn't care if he went. He wasn't an ally but he wasn't a threat either. until he started trying to tear me down. Also let's be clear this all started because EVERYONE thinks he's rude and annoying. Then he tries to come for me in pms calling me out for spreading lies. Which again I NEVER DID. So I straightened him out on that. Then he tries to do the "If I don’t get you out now I never will and then we all lose." which is BULLSHIT. Don't get mad and angry with me just because I'm playing better than you. CHILDISH. Then in the tribe chat he says "As a player he can burn. As a person he's enjoyable." IS HE TRYING TO MAKE ME HATE HIM!? First of saying I can burn makes me want to really drag him. Also bro you and i don't talk you don't know shit about me as a person. You did that just to feed this "Feud" thats going on. STFU. Bye. Whichever one of us goes I'm glad I won't have to talk to his KIRBY LOOKING ASS anymore. I wish Marie had stayed.

Okay I can't lie I'm super nervous about this vote. I just don't trust anyone. I'm talking to Annabelle now and was like "I'm down to vote for anybody" because I'm not sure where she's at and I want her to know I am a vote for her.

Well. Good thing is that i wasnt dragged with with what Nicole said which is good with me. I didnt get any touchy subject which is also great. My two best allies Sharky and Keaton both did which means they’ll be targeted before I do. Which is awesome. Me and Nathan dont want to see Keaton go so we got Annabell and Bryce to be with us for a 5 person voting block thats going after Matt. Thats right, Matt is going home. Keaton plan was to try and distract Sharky and fight with him and have both of their names on the chopping block. This means that Matt wont see this blindside happening. And if Sharky has an idol, he’ll waste it cuz he won’t be getting any votes. Its gonna sbe wild af. Be ready.

Its been very quiet this morning. The plan has been set so im hoping that nothing else shatters the plan. The idol search doesnt like me as it likes Nick. Only thing i found was an advantage for next immunity which was an extra point butnit was touchy subject so i kinda threw it cuz said my name for the ones i felt where really bad. And i want to give a shout out for host Drew. You are an amazing and cool person.

OK, so Nathan has been going behind me and Sharky's back to target Matt... and I'm just shook to my fucking core.... bless Annabelle's big heart for telling Sharky because it gave us some room to snap hard. I know Matt has an idol, and I cannot wait for him to pull it out at tribal. I think that Nathan is thinking very short term and thinking him not telling me and Sharky is just some move he can make on his own, but as the Touchy Subjects' results showed us, Nathan thinks he's running the game but Sharky is actually doing it. Getting this info... what a fucking legend...

Annabelle doesn't want to be screwed because of this whole situation so Sharky wants to avoid voting Nathan out but I lowkey don't care. Nathan keeping me out of the conversation makes me lose all trust in him. I know I'm not the target, but it doesn't change the fact that he's trying to run the game behind my back. It's not going to work, sir. It won't.

Ok... I'm angry, but I'm going to have to control that anger and turn it into making the best decision for my game and that will be to work with Matt and Sharky till the end.

Brace yourself this is going to be a LONG ONE. So last night I basically went to Anna and tried to save my ass because I really haven't been sure how genuine our alliance was because of our history together. She basically kept saying she was in a tough spot and this and that and so I outright asked her if she was considering voting for me. And she was like absolutely not. Which is such a relief. HOWEVER! She confesses that Nathan has created a secret plan to vote out Matt. He specifically told everyone not to tell me and Brian about it. EXCUSE ME? Aren't we in an alliance dude? So thats really pisses me off. But supposedly they have the majority for this plan. So that means I don't have to worry about myself as much. But I don't want Matt to go. Especially after this proved that he's one of the only ones I trust. So I'm thinking out of 9 votes we have 3 we can maybe use the steal a vote or something to try and get a majority. CUT TO THIS MORNING. I tell Brian about this secret plan and Brian tells me Matt has a freakin idol!!! So now we can use his idol and even if there are 5 votes left Matt/Brian/Myself control that vote then. Now the tough part...I need the vote to stay on Keaton because if it goes to anybody else Anna is going to think I screwed her over. And I promised her that her telling me wouldn't bite her in the ass. I also need this to stay TOP SECRET because if anyone finds out I leaked the plan they are going to come after me and I love Matt but I don't want to destroy my game to save him. So we need to have Matt use his idol and all 3 of us need to vote for Keaton.

God these people. I am VERY sure I am getting votes tonight and it's ok. Why? Cause I have an idol fuck these cunts. If not the WOOO love a minority!

i'm playing a super dangerous game right now but it's ok hopefully it works out we're here for the messy bitch game play right and i also just like play better in chaos so let's keep it that way once the game gets boring people will think of me.

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Y'all I'm feeling real shitty about this week. I still feel super in danger. i feel like everyone is lying to my face. But I'm also worried for Matt. Luckily he has an idol so he'll be safe but the fact that he's catching votes at all is concerning. I hope it's Keaton going out but you just truly never know. This could be my time.

So it seems Matt might be an option for the vote but the questions I have are: Do I trust Matt enough to tell him he’s getting votes? Am I willing to make an early move? How will this will effect me moving forward? And when thinking between Keaton and Matt... I think I know my decision…

The shit hit the fan. Somehow Nick knows the hidden real plan that it was going to be Matt tonight. Keaton keeps lying to Bryce that he’s doing Sharky but Bryce is the number we have to have majority over Matt. Keaton is being sketchy kinda. Hopefully the plan goes according and Matt goes because last time he was doing a witch hunt for those 2 votes. Im going to be drinking at tribal tonight. Shit is too stressful.

Keaton is idoled out in a 6-3 vote.

#episode #allmadhere

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localocksmithnearme · 4 years

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