#im just in the gutter

[littlemoondarling]

Venty vent owo

I sometimes feel like I'm not a human, like I was born off, maybe the legends are true that fae replace human children, idk.

Idk how being a human works, idk how to do it successfully.

Talking to people is impossible and exhausting. I tried to be social, to ask questions and offer informative, to be funny, to be kind, to be anything but it doesn't work.

Maybe my mom is right, maybe it is because I can't look at people in the eye, or maybe I just make people uncomfortable for other reasons unbeknownst to me.

All that I know is that people don't like talking to me, they always pick the fastest answer, (Ok.)(Yea)(Oh really). They never ask anything back.

It's not just acquaintances, but my own aunt too.

My mom was right when she told me I will wish to grow younger. I laughed at her then. Being an adult is the best I said. I would be able to move out. To love and be loved. To have a job and have money. Little did little me know that none of that will happen. Whether that is due to the state of the country or my own mind.

When I was a kid cool animal facts were cool, watching Disney channel was the it. Liking cartoons was normal.

Now it's different, I don't like the things they like. Or follow the things they follow. I can't talk like them. I'm not saying I'm better. I'm much worse. I know that.

But I can't talk like them. I can't. I can't make fun of her because she is "masculine". She is fucking disabled you son of a bitch she can't walk any other way.

It scares me the way they make fun of people when they turn their backs. How normal they seem with them only to rip them to shreds. I'm scared. I'm scared.

Idk what to do. How to be normal. I don't think there is a way out of this. No way where I'm alive I mean. But at the same time. I'm scared of hell.

Shit.

#vent #kinda dark so yee #sorry ya'll #im just in the gutter

[spyglahass]

I head canon that Jimmy has the dead anime mom hair of death

And this is why he always dies first

it just happens to him

#my pc is still in the gutter o7 #so i dont have brush setting so i guess im trying new ones kjsdgfksdj #also love the idea that watchers just give him forceful haircuts \ #jimmy solidarity #life series #secret life #double life #3rd life #limited life #mcyt #my art

[topaziraphale]

"Stop saying Crowley won't help Aziraphale in S3 he'd go back to him in a HEARTBEAT and nothing would stop him" I get it no one likes the idea of Crowley being bitter after what happened for a long period of time but like can we at least acknowledge that he's currently going through probably the most emotional pain in his life since falling? Can we agree that he's opened his heart entirely - something you couldn't pay him to do unless the world is literally ending and he's desperate - to Aziraphale, and got shot down? Can we understand that he did it AGAIN only to lose Aziraphale again? Not that what Aziraphale did isn't without Crowley's own shortcomings (hiding the truth of Heaven's cruelty from him) but like,,,,

The appeal here isn't Scorned Crowley Doesn't Love Aziraphale Anymore, or Never Wants To Help Him Again, the appeal here is Crowley learning enough self respect to not just walk back right to Aziraphale like nothing happened after Aziraphale has had a pattern of consistently refusing him. Going years ping-ponging between "We're not friends I don't even know him" to "That's what friends are for right?" and "We're friends, why would you even say anything?" and "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon!"

Like I get it, Crowley is a heartbreakingly forgiving person. Of course he's gonna forgive Aziraphale, I'll be surprised if he didn't forgive him by the time he walked out the bookshop door, but gdi he could at least grant himself the luxury of being at least a little irritated for longer than however long it takes to make a globe and some books float and angrily cry out to God in his flat. But due to the change of pace and dynamic that is establishing part of the conflict for Season 3, I just really like the idea of him for ONCE prioritizing himself and being like "Okay, fine. We'll get back at it when you're ready, then," instead of just taking Aziraphale back like his words and actions meant nothing to him, when clearly they have an effect on him.

What is Aziraphale going to learn if Crowley just accepts what he did so quickly, like he always has the entire time they've been friends? Idk maybe I'm just projecting too much darkness on their dynamic but I mean, if the pattern of Aziraphale pushing Crowley away/disrespecting him one day and then being fine with his friendship the next + Crowley never stopping to be like "Hey, that's not cool, at least give me a little credit" or smth was fine all along and will continue to be fine in the future, then why, after 6,000 years of being friends and loving this demon, can Aziraphale still not accept that Crowley is just fine the way he is, and instead got excited to promote him to an angel in a heartbeat once the opportunity presented itself? You can't blame all of it on Heaven when Aziraphale has demonstrated his free will/defiance to Heaven so many times. Or, I don't know, I guess maybe we can? Maybe I'm just craving too much angst to the point where I'm letting it cloud my analysis of canon. Idk.

#derpy speaks #good omens #good omens 2 #no i dont think crowley is gonna ever hate aziraphale for what happened but he's allowed to be angry #he's allowed to be done with it all. he's allowed to be exhausted. just look at his face when he drives away. #meh. idk. but i dont know how i'll feel if crowley just INSTANTLY accepts aziraphale back in a situation involving #idk - ''hey help me stop the new apocalypse'' #at least. without like. SOME pushback? it can even be something small like ''are you SURE you want ME to help you? do you really need me?'' #doesnt have to be a straight refusal but i'd like SOME kind of action to show that crowley is putting his foot down for once #he deserves that self respect #do NOT reply saying that im insinuating that aziraphale is actively malicious or doing it on purpose. #everything he has done up until now is his own complicated response to all the trauma and guilt he's been through #but despite that crowley is STILL allowed to be upset... it's messy. i can write a whole paper about how this whole thing #is just unfortunate on both ends. again. we didnt get queerbaited we got communication baited 😭 #but help me out here. am i just too fandom-brained to have these expectations from the story? #is there something obvious im missing that is making me sound like a complete asshole here? do i need to get my head out of the gutter? #someone please explain it to me if so because whatever it is‚ i can't find it #not queued

[andy-clutterbuck]

3x01 | Seed

#i love me a dirty man #Rick Grimes #* #rg #S3 #his n e c k #*bram stoker writing furiously about me* #rogue neck fuzzies 💙 #he needs a bath #i volunteer as tribute #roll me into the foliage over there #the credits always ruining good shots so i have to do so crappy cropping #come inside mr grimes #come as often as you like #wow im just being hospitable #get your mind out of the gutter #*throws logs on the dumpster fire*

[curioscurio]

crying a lot more lately.

#vent art #its not often i end up liking the results of my vent art but . i guess i do like how it turned out. #im not doing so well right now #im trying to set up a gofund me to get me out of this house but im having trouble doing . well anything for myself. #if i were making a fundraiser for anyone else id be right on it. but my self worth is in the gutter and i spend all my time and energy #helping make my family's lives easier #anyway im at the point where now im speaking without thinking put of anger which is dangerous and stupid to do in this house #im just like. i need help. this is the cry for help. please help me escape florida and my abusive family when i can get myself organized en #ough to get it all set up #this is ok to reblog

[happyandticklish]

The narrator from Stanley’s Parable and Mr. Voice from Little Misfortune could fuck me up man

They always give narrator characters the smoothest, most sultry voices and for what

To torment me?? 

#the stanley parable #little misfortune #mr voice #personal #stanley parable narrator #non tickling #though i mean 👀 #im not saying my mind isnt in that gutter #out here being fucking lee for a voice with no hands or physical form what the hell am i supposed to do with that #although technically i think mr voice HAS a form i just havent gotten there yet lol

[wren-kitchens]

i really hope flower husband fans have not ignored scott 'flower husbands is dead' smajor saying that "if i die, i want you to greet me at the gates [of heaven]" in jimmy's video today

#because i cERTAINLY HAVE NOT #SCOTT FUCKING SMAJOR #he is my enemy actually #jimmy plays into it but only a little #also all ships aside thats a raw fucking line from a video that is literally just jimmy timing how long it takes his friends to get bored #and log off #like jesus christ #the gutter looks at the stars too yeah it sure fucking does #flower husbands #im stealing that line fuck you scott

[slutdge]

hard to cope with the pain of having an addiction and knowing youre doing irreperable damage to your body combined with the fear that maybe one day things will get better and you can get clean/sober and not need to self medicate the pain anymore but itll be too late because you already fucked your body up beyond repair. i need to go lay face down in the snow.

#the misconception that all addicts enjoy being addicts is untrue. a lot of us hate it. #not to be dramatic or anything but please god i need to get out of here its killing me lmao #to be able to feel your cognitive ability and see your face slowly deteriorate in real time is horrific in a way i cant describe #anyways sorry ive been on like a 2 day streak of vent posting ive just been in the gutter worse than usual. believe me im sick of it too. #addiction

[chillywillow1]

I like how many different terms and names there are for girls who like girls it's like quarks and subatomic particles

#willyisms #sapphic #NO this is not a top and bottom joke get ye head out of the gutter #well could be if you want i guess im just ace

[bloodsoaked-gown]

I had baigun ka bharta

oooooooooh I hope it was tastyyyyy (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

#im gonna make a bad joke #kids ignore #the only baigan ka bharta i want is the one i will make on his- *censroed* #lol #btw how does it taste? #i dont eat baigan in general i hate its gooey texture unless its in chokha with litti :( #and like idek taste #i just dont like the way it feels in hands and mouth lol #also it triggers allregy in me sometimes i- #thius is BOUT THE VEGETABLE WHY DOES IT SOUND SO WRONG #bring my head out of gutter lord #ragahv<33

[bobus]

#losership #lmk #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk syn #lmk syntax #lmk shoe store guy #idk his name #idk this ship name #just calling it losership #i found this in the magma gutters from like months ago and it made me chuckle so im inflicting it upon you too

[noctilucous-sunni]

no im thinking again abt this and more

so like what if in a sagau, the characters can not only hear the music you’re playing but also see your spotify playlist (if its open on your computer) AND THEN they see like specific playlists that are made for them and named after them and they feel so high and mighty because OH LOOK the creator adores them so much that they made a whole playlist of songs that reminds you of them afafsfsfsf

venti would definitely appreciate it the most - he’d probably even (definitely) try to learn the songs on your playlist (that YOU MADE specifically FOR HIM) that he hears you play often <333

others would try to find out how to recreate the songs that they’ve heard and know are in their playlists that you made for them so they can listen to them all the time to feel closer to creator!reader’s presence

and then…

theres the teapot

when in the teapot the music will be on constant repeat

and in the teapot…

uhh.. hehe

well lets just say that some of them are bit too eager listening to it as if it allowed them to be so much closer to your presence and they wanted… more.

#sagau brainrot again #sunni’s bits and bobs #sagau #sagau brainrot #I MEAN #im just sorta thinking abt how some certain characters #would #uhhh #hehehe #😏😏 #my mind has been in the gutter today SO ALL I CAN THINK OF IS CERTAIN CHARACTERS GETTING OFF OF THE MUSIC REPEATING IN THE TEAPOT #lmao i cant help it today #sunni rambles

[lycanstonebutch]

Lowkey have given up on mutual aid, idk why i ever thought ppl could actually organize to support a strike through mutual aid

500$ docked from my paycheck bcuz we thought mutual aid and community would have our back but i hardly get any ppl even bother reblogging our posts and havent gotten a single cent which like donations whatever ik were all struggling but hardly any reblogs? Thats literally free.

Like not even 50 reblogs from different ppl.

Not to sound entitled or whatever but im tired of being a support level 2 autistic with like 2 stupid physical disabilities and D.I.D having to maintain a 40h work week and trying to help people whenever i can but the moment i fucking falter i just have to eat shit and push harder and kill myself trying to stay afloat cuz no one can even be bothered to point and go "heyyy someones drowning can anyone help!!"

Like seriously not even 50 individual reblogs, theres 100 smth notes and 3/4 of them are from ppl in our system desperately trying to get attention to our situatuon

#and its like sure whatever for donations ik its hard #but the fact hardly anyone bothers to reblog ?? which is free?? #okay sure ig #whatever i ended uo begging my dad to lend me some money even though he just got through 2 surgergies #and us also ib the gutter #but he lent it to me but now i owe him 700$ #and feel guilt for borrowing miney from my dad who literally hardly has it and add to put it on a damn payment plan #for his credit card #fuck mutual aid ive been failed by it consistently trhoughout the years ive never veen able to rely on anyone else #idk why i ever think maybe itll be different this time #ppl cant even be fucking bothered to reblog a post that could literally have spared me so much distress and the need to beg my dad for money #im lucky he even accepted if he hadnt then what #whatever

[airbrushfather]

Tumblr friends - anyone have any recommendations for small businesses that sell handmade/unique jewellery? preferably for less than the cost of half my rent? everywhere ive looked is either dropshipped/mass produced yuck or costs £200+ and i think there has got to be a middle ground

#don't tell them but im buying j a gift #possibly a gift shaped like this -> ⭕ #ring for finger not ring for cock get yr minds out of the gutter! >.< #don't want solid gold or anything! don't even need sterling silver! just something cute and nice and not 200 quid!!!! please!!!!

[drawbudd]

google how to tell teacher consentration span is completely shot google time sensitive question

#wow actually me talking #google save me #my consentration span is in the gutter and unfortunately it shows #like im going thru it girl real #at this point i'd rather you just stop extending the deadline and just give me an F and release me #i'll just take that L blease #adhd #attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

[kdramamilfs]

tried to read leviathan wakes and came across the absolutely worst sentence known to mankind ive decided this book is not worth my time

#im having such a hater moment rn sorry #it was a 'german' sentence. its like [sentence] he said in gutter german #I CAM ASSURE YOU TJAT WAS NOT GERMAN #it was literally translated word for word from english resulting in an absolute senseless atrocity #SCHRAUBEN SIE SIE WEIBCHEN #im sorry im in distress. how on earth was this published its so embarrassing #ive immediately lost all faith in the authors like if you cant do your research and write a normal german sentence like maybe ask someone?? #im not trusting you. #BYE #schrauben sie. im sorry this is just too bad im losing my mind #schrauben sie?????? #what tje hell #m.txt