#im not guaranteeing ill get to them but im going to try to use any as practice/warm up

[dilfpassing]

rahhh

#im so stressed about my car its ruining my whole weekend #i cant enjoy anythig bc im just so stressed #my stomach hurts #im supposed to see ghost thursday and friday and conidering just bailing because i might not have a car and trying to figure out the #logistics is stressing me out even more #like i want to go see them but right now its just causing me more stress #RAHHH #i just want my car back like i live in an area where it is 100% a requirement for me to be able to drive #i dont have any sort of reliable public transport and i need to get to work #and i feel really bad asking my coworkers for favors #luckily i can borrow my sister's car next week but thats just for a week and if my car is truly entirely busted then i will be carless for #longer and i cant DO THAT #and used cars are almost just as expensive as new ones right now so i can kiss like half my life savings behind #RAHHHHH #honestly if my repairs are under 5k and the mechanic can GUARANTEE that my car will actually run reliably ill do it #but hghghghghghghg

[i-am-an-arson-enthusiast]

Here at i-am-an-arson-enthusiast, we i am dedicated to bringing you top quality content such as but not limited to: gay things, cats, and even live arson that you don't even have to tune into!!

hi this is my intro post :D

basic questions that i love answering

“hey what should i call you” good question. i dont really care, most of my mutuals call me arson. thats cool. bc i love arson. (clearly) but you can call me really whatever. planet names are dope as shit, but only @marcysbear gets to call me neptune. also enthu is off limits, only @terrifying-acceptance gets to call me that.

for the record: if you call me either of those names and are not either of them, that is crossing a genuine boundary of mine. you ARE NOT allowed to call me those names if you are not the designated person for that.

“ur gay” woah really i didnt know that ur like the first person ever to notice that!! (no ur not, ive known that for years)

“what type of gay” yes. the easiest way to explain it is bisexual. that being said: i use bisexual surprizingly little. i call myself lesbian and gay all the time (as in wlw and mlm). i’m arospec, i think im grayromantic? idk. but fun fact: it’s been over TWO months now of this identity crisis; my personal record :) also im polyamorous and will joke abt kissing u if ur cool with it :3

“gender????” im genderfluid. which explains the pronoun changes. im also trans, nb, genderqueer, and any of the genders and terms i need to articulate what the silly lil dudes in my head make me feel.

AUDHD :D explains why i am obsessed with space (going back to names planet names are cool and epic btw)

“do u horny post on main???” i reblog horny posts to my main but i dont normally do the original horny posting. tell me if i need to tw that btw :3

my cool and epic tags

i try to consistanly use them but sometimes i dont. sorry.

woah i’m using queue - i’m actually queuing a post for once instead of spam reblogging (which i mostly do sorry not sorry)

woah a real text post - me positing an actual text post for once but it’s becoming more common

cool ass art - art that i reblog (it’s all cool)

arson does half way decent art sometimes - my art. art i made. yea

the beloved - my beautiful beautiful queer platonic partner @terrifying-acceptance who i tag in a lot of shit :]

i will keep adding more as i remember them and make them so yea :D also i try to tag for things but i often dont add tw or cw because. idk. just havent ever done that. if you need me too you can tell me in any form and ill try my gaddamn hardest to add them. feel free to *kindly* remind me if i forgot. (as in no verbal abuse ya know. if ur scared ur probably fine)

the last section that is mostly important for followers :]

if u wanna follow me it’d be cool if you have a banner and pfp but as long as ur like not a bot ur good.

feel free to ask questions :) this is the point at which i tell you that i love getting asks and dms. my dms are always open unless i am dead. (current status: alive at very least.) also i am in school so you are practically guaranteed to get a response not immediately. give me 12-24 hours to respond before being offended. after that it’s fair game.

I genuinely do not care and give no fucks about what you believe and how you live your life as long as you dont hurt yourself or others, you are not offended by me being very not religious/spiritual and you do not shove it down anyones throat.

I mostly do reblogs and tag them as such half the time

lastly if you interact with this post it lets me know that you read it but i’m gonna look at your profile anyway if u follow me so you don’t have to.

thank you for reading all of that i know it’s long. your cool so here’s a cookie 🍪 also here have this

credit to @v-4-l-0-n and @theprideful :)

(order of the banners are “exclusionists fuck off”, then this user loves being a lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, genderfluid, then non binary)

#queer #intro post #uhhhh #yeah #long posts #holy shit

[pinkpossession]

My manifestation rules 2.0

Since Im basically restarting my journey I've decided the redo my rules with more detail. This is the process I went through to define how I want to manifest. Hope you enjoy <;3.

-----------------------------------

Wants

I want to manifest in the blink of an eye

I want it to happen in any circumstance.

I want it to be the easiest, quickest thing ever

I also want it to be fun

I want it to be almost magical.

I don't want it to be tricky

I don't want to have to convince myself or make myself believe anything.

I want to manifest just by basic knowledge of my manifestation

4D=3D like a mirror/ anything I think in my 4D appears instantly in my 3D

I only manifest things I want

How

I want to manifest in the blink of an eye

Just as it reads, I can manifest in the blink of an eye. Every time I blink, I manifest something new. It doesn't have to be logical at all! It just happens because that's how things are meant to be. Unless I want something to happen in a span of time, it happens instantly. For things that are within a span of time, as soon as I want to manifest it, it’s guaranteed to happen within that span of time instantly.

I want it to happen in any circumstance.

I can manifest in any circumstance. Whether I'm sad, happy, angry or ill, I can manifest at my full power. Along with this, just because a circumstance is unlikely to have my manifestation happen doesn't mean it won't happen. My manifestation can occur in any situation, even if it isn't logical. Even if i at some times am not aware of/ know my manifestation is mine, that doesn't mean I won't get it. If I've already claimed my manifestation as mine, even once, it is going to be mine no matter what.

I want it to be the easiest, quickest thing ever

I will always manifest quickly and easily. It is illogical for me not to. My manifestations always come to me, I never have to chase them. Manifesting is just a normal, fun part of my day. It's normal for me to manifest random things or manifest things for fun throughout the day. I can manifest anything quickly and easily.

I also want it to be fun

Manifestation is never boring to me. Even if I decide to try a new method or challenge, my rules still apply. I manifest successfully every time. If I do a new challenge, I succeed. If I do a new method, I succeed.

I want it to be almost magical.

If I decide to manifest mystical or fantasy like things, they will still happen. These magical things don't interfere with my life at all. No one catches me performing magical things unless I want them to. Manifesting magical things is as easy and quick as any other manifestation.

I don't want it to be tricky

Manifestation is never tricky for me. It's beyond easy every time. I never wait, I never struggle and I never feel impatient. I get what I want exactly when I want it.

I don't want to have to convince myself or make myself believe anything

To manifest, I don't have to believe or actually think I have anything physically. All I have to do is have a basic knowing that it is mine. I don't have to keep my thoughts positive at all or think a certain way. As long as I've claimed my desire as mine, it will manifest.

I want to manifest just by basic knowledge of my manifestation

Having a basic knowing that what I'm manifesting is already mine is more than enough to manifest. I don't have to think a certain way or feel a certain way all the time. Just knowing in the back of my mind that because the law is effective, my desire is already mine, then that's what it will be. Even if I have moments of not being aware of my desires, I will still get my desires, even if I've claimed them just once. I can use things such as visualization and affirming as fun reminders of having my desires, but they aren't a requirement.

4D=3D like a mirror/ anything I think in my 4D appears instantly in my 3D

Whenever I think of something, it instantly appears in my 3D. It doesn't matter if it is illogical. If I want something to happen within a certain span of time, as soon as I start manifesting, events will instantly start taking place to ensure it will happen. My 3D conforms to me instantly. My 3D and 4D are like twins.

I only manifest things I want

Simply put, I can't manifest things that I don't want. If there's anything I can't manifest, it's things that I don't want. If I see anything in my reality that is unfavorable, it instantly goes away.

Basic steps and rules

I can manifest instantly

I manifest regardless of any circumstance.

I only manifest the things I want

I can manifest absolutely anything.

Manifestation is always easy and quick

I always get what I want

Knowing it's mine is always enough

Steps

Decide what you want

Know it is yours

Remind yourself it is yours in any way (optional)

Receive

#law of assumption #loassumption #instant manifestation #manifesation #manifest #master manifestor #affirmyourreality #affirm and persist #assume #loa #success story #states #self concept #void state #how to manifest #law of the universe #god state #subconscious #manifestation rules

[superchat]

What are your thoughts on Endfield's lack of a dodge? Personally, I hope the devs don't listen to people claiming the game needs a dodge. I think there's a clear vision with balancing skills as cyclable damage vs skills as movement tools, and enemy and boss patterns are designed with a clear focus on positioning with area indicators on the ground and later bosses prioritizing area denial and even bullet hell-like attacks. However, I have only seen the theory of it. As much as I'd like them to stick to their guns without any quick dash, as I feel like it'd hurt the strategic positioning aspect and push the game more towards boring reaction-focused dodging, I haven't actually played the game to feel it for myself. I know that watching the Triaggelos fight back when the CN test was happening reawakened an itch for me I hadn't felt since I was doing no roll dark souls 1 boss kills back during the start of covid, and that makes me endlessly excited. I don't want the people clamoring for a dodge to kill that appeal for me, but I also can't be positive that appeal is something that really exists given I can't play the test.

So, as someone who's playing Endfield: dodge or no dodge?

ill be honest, i spent like a grand total of like 10 minutes trying to figure out what the dodge is cuz i was just like "...theres gotta be one. right?...right?" and it DID feel very limiting to me early on

but as i played more and defeated a few bosses, i started to see more what they were going for. one particular boss teleports behind you, does an attack, and then teleports IN FRONT of you and does another attack, and out first i was like "man if i had a dodge i couldve avoided that second hit :/" but trying it again i simply just, walked the opposite direction when he teleported the second time lol

its growing on me more, you have to be a bit more calculated when making decisions and have to anticipate attacks more. it does feel a little annoying with some attacks, like i think all ranged attacks enemies have thrown at me is just. guaranteed damage at me, like ope. i knew the attack was coming but there goes +30% of my health cuz it just tracks onto me

i think the lack of a dash makes enemy design much easier too tho cuz like, theres just less for the devs to account for, and tbh i wouldnt mind no dodge if it means that enemies have a nice range of movements or variability etc

tldr: it took me a bit to get used to it but im warming up to it and seeing what theyre going for and so far, i dont mind it save for moments where it feels like theres no way to avoid damage no matter what but i could be missing something like maybe you need to time a skill to stop their attack or something rather than run to avoid

#meeablo #asks

[mochiwrites]

ive just finished catching up on night life and wow! oh gosh!! theres so much to process and so many questions!!! what happened with the last human mumbo was close to? whos the murderer? what exactly is scar being hired to do? whats scars past? wtf is up with scott? did scar set up that illusion with the house fire in the most recent chapter or scott? both?? why????

even if scar does all this to protect tub, wheres the guarantee that scott doesnt just pop in and take him anyways? i doubt theres so much as a drop of honor in that creepy, creepy man. what if scar gets found out and mumbo and grian are betrayed so they stop talking, then scott gets taken by tubs so scar's left alone, and goes to mumbo and grian for help which they ultimately give because how could they deny a friend in need?? WHAT ABOUT PEARL???

oh my gosh PEARL!! im so concerned for her. im so scared for her. if something happens to her ill kill everyone in the fic and then myself /ref

also taurtis?? id assumed he'd died, then grian had some self thinking about taurtis might be dead and now im convinced hes gonna come back somehow?? but how? or am i overthinking this and he IS dead? god poor dude

GRIAN. LORDY LORD how on earth so much guilt can fit in such a tiny man baffles me. at the same time something about him being human and objectively weaker in all this really resonates with me. his desire to be useful and of equal standing. ouch. doesnt hit any weak spots for me there no not at all.

im also very unhealthily in love with this version of mumbo. id die for him a million times over.

the worldbuilding is incredible!! it's a lot but i feel like its being incorporated in a way that isnt overwhelming so we're able to follow along with everything pretty well! plus, the fact that a lot of it is from grian's (very confused) perspective makes him work really well as a sort of source of information for readers! its great!!

i am just. overall very. wow. looking forward to future updates. very much looking forward to that. keep up the incredible work!!

ehehe henlo!! :D

many questions to be had !!! I want to answer all of them SO bad oh man. but I am being so brave and not spoiling *vigorous nodding* some of these answers Are coming soon though!!

scar’s motivations, in a broad and general sense, are really intriguing to consider in this au. he’s someone who’s never been human operating on fae morals while mingling with humans. so there’s this really interesting clash of ideals and goals going on. but if he’s not careful, the fallout could be… messy. extremely messy.

:)

PEARL AND TAURTIS OUGH… taurtis was put on a VERY interesting character path, and let me tell you it was. A major struggle trying to figure out how much of his story to put in the limelight. because taurtis is technically living in a different town while going through stuff and the path that leads him to the arachne is all going on in the background fbfbfbfg but 👀 in regards to his status… who knows! and PEARL… I cradle her So gently in my hands, I care her so much. I am so sorry

and ACK I’ve talked about grian and his humanity and the connection it has to everyone and the story drives me MADE. because realistically speaking, he Is the weakest. he Is the most vulnerable. the most fragile. it would Not take much to kill him. yet that doesn’t stop him from wanting to help. from wanting to be useful. there’s so much drive and perseverance and just… hope. he has so much hope and stubbornness and he is so painfully human. it reminds the non human characters of what they lost. of what they want to protect (mumbo).

and objectively, it’s because of grian’s humanity that he’s able to see the humanity in those around him (mumbo and scar).

songbird!mumbo is SO beloved. little sad and anxious vampire guy… I’m so sorry

but uwahhh thank you !!! the world building is something that I have a lot of fun with in this au. because it’s a fantasy au there’s So much world at my fingertips, which is why it’s so important to find the balance when introducing concepts and stuff. I try not to overwhelm with information <3

and using grian as the reader’s in to the supernatural world is Very purposeful :D when you begin the series, you and grian have the same amount of knowledge. you’re entering the supernatural world together, and learning the same information. so the readers are Literally seeing the world through grian’s eyes.

it’s a very helpful writers tool for world building >:D

and !!!!! 🥹💕 I’m glad you enjoyed it so far !! chapter 5 is already outlined and planned hehe. I’m very excited about this next chapter, and I’m hoping the wait won’t be too long!!

( also, since you mentioned the solar eclipse playlist, this au has a playlist as well! :D in case you’re interested uwu )

#mochi speaks #songbird asks

[genderqueeradrien]

ADRIEN AGRESTE BPD CODED? explain pls <- going O.O slash pos

ok so !!! this turned into an ESSAY i'm so sorry i've been thinking about this for ages and haven't put my thoughts on paper together yet so this is me doing that. also disclaimer irl at least in the us people usually cant get diagnosed with bpd until theyre atbut this is a french kid's show about magic superheroes so i'm ignoring a bit of real-world logistics for the sake of analysis. also, i'm starting with things that ARENT kuro neko specific but trust me we'll get to her.

warning: really long post. actual warning: there's mentions of self harm, talk of suicide and metaphorical suicide, and some discussion of canonical abuse + coping mechanisms. generally lots of mental illness stuff

(also in case the readmore breaks at some point im putting this here bc i want to have it saved Somewhere)

ALL THAT BEING SAID!

[blank paragraph in case the readmore eats the first paragraph. i love this website]

some bpd symptoms i see in adrien/chat noir:

identity disturbance, markedly/persistently unstable self-image/sense of self: there's been several times here adrien talks about wondering whether adrien or chat noir is his "true self," which is super interesting to me bc i (dissociative disorder haver) used to angst about that exact thing (though his situation is definitely different on account of being a superhero lol). there's also the fact that he doesn't have any idea who he is or what he wants to do with his future, and his mind goes blank whenever he thinks about it, which aligns with the difficulties in committing to goals/jobs often seen in bpd

potentially self-damaging impulsive behavior: he's always sacrificing himself for ladybug- here's 2 minutes straight of him doing it in timebreaker, dark cupid, zombizou, chameleon, gorilla, and gamer 2.0. he also does it in lies, reverser, and the shangai special, and probably several more. imo as well as showing an intense attachment to ladybug, it also shows a lack of regard for his own health and wellbeing :( not to mention all the times he runs to fight akumas with no plans or tries to fight them on a broken ankle or other general recklessness

suicidal or self harming behavior: i know this is a stretch but this is a kid's show so we're probably not going to like. see any of that onscreen in a literal sense. but i do feel like some of the times where he sacrifices himself over and over could count. because no matter how much he trusts ladybug there's no guarantee she'll be able to fix everything, and he's immediately willing to die/be teleported into a shadow realm/turned into a kissing zombie/despawn/etc despite that. also he tried to cataclysm himself during guiltrip, tho that was bc of an akuma (although akumas do generally amplify preexisting emotions)

inappropriate/intense/difficult to control anger: trying to cataclysm kim because he played a mean prank on marinette is the first thing i think of. i feel like he definitely tends to suppress anger until it bubbles up and explodes, like in representation when he's going off on his dad about his parenting being shitty, which, while justified, definitely put him in more danger of being hurt. also i know it was in an alternate timeline + he was akumatized but he DID kill everyone in the world that one time. i support him though. he's allowed to do that because i love him

a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships, splitting: prefacing this with i dont think ladybug + chat noir are in an unhealthy relationship, but i do think that sometimes the way he sees ladybug can be unhealthily idolizing, in a way that's very reminiscent of favourite persons in bpd. most of season 4 is him being in love with ladybug but feeling pushed aside, until he splits on her in kuro neko (which i'm getting to i promise. this post is way longer than i thought it'd be). there's also desperada where he spends months in a time loop trying to save her despite presumably knowing he's not the person who should be saving her right now.

stress-related paranoid ideation or dissociative symptoms: tbh i dont know much abt paranoid ideation so i won't speak on that too much, but i do think his worst fear in sandboy being ladybug being upset with him despite having never acted that way before might fall into that category? as for dissociative symptoms, aside from the identity thing i mentioned earlier, i guess the scene in kuro neko where he's sitting on his couch doing nothing except running his video game character into a wall could be him dissociating? also apparently (i havent read/seen this myself but ive heard abt it) astruc said chat noir is resistant to akumas because he's so used to disappointment, which could suggest a level of emotional numbing

when i first was watching miraculous i was kinda thinking abt adrien having bpd but i didn't have anything super solid to explain it. but it's fun for me to analyze characters' mental states and nothing explicitly contradicts it so whatever. BUT THEN. KURO NEKO.

when ladybug snaps at him he immediately jumps to the conclusion that she hates him/is tired of him (splitting, paranoid thinking)

he decides to leave, which may seem contradictory to "frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment," but pushing people away and essentially abandoning someone before they abandon you (whether or not that was actually going to happen) is a super common result of that symptom and it's what he's doing here. he thinks she doesn't need him, so before she can tell him this he leaves

he leaves his miraculous behind where someone couldve grabbed it because he felt rejected (impulsive behaviour)

then he goes home and tries to destroy all the traces of his love for ladybug, getting rid of his pictures of her on his phone and physical pictures as well (splitting, difficulty controlling anger)

when he wakes up he lies in bed, skips school, doesn't change out of his pajamas, and spends his time running his video game character into a wall. to me it looks like he's completely shut down (dissociation)/in a depressive episode

the show from the beginning sets up that being chat noir is an escape for adrien, and the beginning of season 4 really hammers that point home. we see adrien having an awful day and only finally perking up when he gets to see ladybug. so when adrien gives up his ring that's him giving up on not only himself but on a huge part of his life and one of the only parts that brings him happiness. the way he talks about giving up his ring ("i just can't do this anymore. i give up. on everything") sounds like something a suicidal person would say. this is also something he's expressed before, in syren, when he says "no one'll know if I quit. no one'll care!" (not for nothing, this also comes after him feeling rejected by ladybug). to me it feels like he's been balancing on this metaphorical-suicide metaphorical-ledge for a very long time and kuro neko is him giving up, and then realizing that giving up isn't the way to feel better. (suicidal ideation, fear of abandonment)

adrien doesn't hesitate at the idea of completely changing his personality to be who he thinks marinette wishes he was. the need to make himself into whoever he thinks will be wanted has been a running theme through his life (his childhood dream was to be whoever his parents wanted him to be), and it doesn't fully end with kuro neko- the same insecurities about not being good enough are still shown in the later half of season 5, with him telling marinette he's not worthy of her love and telling ladybug making jokes is all he was ever good for (both in revolution). (low self-esteem, fear of abandonment)

catwalker in general makes me go insane. i think a lot of catwalker comes from the persona he puts on when he's acting as adrien agreste, gabriel agreste's golden child. and i think the constant deference is also something he learned from the abuse from his father. he leans into the "fawn" coping mechanism (adapting to an abuser's wishes to appease them, denying your own needs for those of others) because it's what he's learned to do his whole life because of his father.

catwalker is like a personified fawn fear response. he's the personification of adrien's frantic attempts to avoid abandonment. he's loyal to a fault and would do whatever ladybug asked him to just to try and be good enough for her to stay. he doesn't realize that he's already good enough as adrien/chat noir, that ladybug needs him to be himself or her magic literally doesn't work. she can't do it on her own. she needs him but he's so scared she'll leave that he tries to leave first and then tries to mold himself into someone new who she could love. when he was already loved fully the whole time. aough.

some other smaller examples of his low self esteem & desperation to avoid abandonment:

trying to get good grades to impress his father and earn his love

staying friends with people and trusting them for far longer than is logical (chloé and lila)

feeling like he's not worthy of marinette's love or ladybug's partnership, feeling like he's not worthy to be a miraculous holder or that he's not helping the team, etc

the shocked relief in his eyes when ladybug says she won’t abandon him :(

when gabriel says to chat noir that his son is precious and chat/adrien looks at him Like That. yeah .

SO. YEAH. this post kinda got away from me a little bit as i defended my agresteology dissertation or whatever.

TLDR: he's impulsive and loyal to a fault, yet terrified of abandonment to the point where he tries to sabotage his relationships himself. he idolizes ladybug until he feels rejected by him, when he splits on her and becomes convinced she doesn't care about him. he has low self-worth and places a lot of his perceived worth on how (he believes) others think of him and is always striving towards that ideal even when that ideal is something he can't reach, or something that hurts him to try to reach. also i want to give him a hug and some milk and a blanket. he deserves it

#ask #text #analysis #adrien agreste #ml #self harm mention #abuse mention #suicide mention #long post #mine #OKAY TAGS OVER #is this ready to post .i think it is.okay

[futurama]

Ok then what are your headcanons for Dave? Do you think he's friend with/talks to Dirk or nah? Also I love your fat Dave.

THANK YOU FOR ASKING lets fucking do this

first things first hell yeah dave is fat. personally i think if you imagine dave as a fat guy while reading homestuck it makes the experience twenty times better and is guaranteed to make you love him more. bro did wonders starving him as a child but in these present times you will rarely ever see dave without a little snack nearby, the man loves to indulge in whatever he can get his hands on and keep him busy

keep him busy in what ways? <-- thats you asking me to elaborate and i will oblige happily ^_^ one of THE traits of a strider is to have trauma and obviously dave is riddled with it quite disgustingly if you ask me, and while time heals all wounds i do think that dave would prefer to keep busy with one thing or another so not to be left alone too long with his thoughts. growing up under bros watchful shades has left dave very depressed and very paranoid (cameras around the apartment, being ambushed, etc etc) which leads me into the physical part of his trauma

its kind of funny to think of a world where dave ISNT physically disabled from getting his ass beat every day for 13 years. i dont think bro would be one to hold back from breaking a bone or two or seven during those vital years of growth and he definitely wouldnt be willing to take dave to a hospital because...hes bro strider...why the hell would he. the most hed do is try to set straight whatever needed to be set and wrap it tight and send dave on his way which ultimately leads to dave having quite a few painful fucked up limbs - which brings the cane into the picture! wahoo! walking can be very painful for dave and he prefers to use his cane when hes doing it, and if youre ever out with him youd better be prepared to sit down every now and then so the poor guy can catch a break

ok moving on....i do think dirk and dave talk. again very funny to think of a world where they drift apart or dont get along after their initial meeting in the comic because while it started out rough (obviously. duh! why wouldnt it) they were both smart and understanding enough to talk things out friendship style and made it clear that they care for one another on a level they dont consider their other friends to be on. and i dont mean that in a "they value each other over anyone else now" type of friendship i just know that with them its different and dare i say special. i think dave dumped everything bro had done to him on dirk in a fit of emotion but the way dirk handled it was better than any of the beta kids had (they really dropped the ball on that) and for once in his life dave felt listened to. and im not neglecting the conversations he had with rose, but i do think that when he talked to her it felt more like he was being observed under a microscope rather than being heard. i have a lot to say about how dirk and dave feel for one another but ill spare you the reading and say...they are best friends, and they love each other

i like to think that after the events of homestuck that dave, after being miserable in the game and then being cooped up on the meteor, would absolutely go off to live on his own. i dont believe hed isolate himself completely but i do think hed just be....exhausted. i know he loves his friends and he would visit them from time to time, but i know after everything hed end up spending a good chunk of time with dirk

god what else. im such a fan of albino dave, and i think of him as intersex, which coincidentally go hand in hand under chimerism, theoretically. hes bisexual, and has a very healthy amount of autism and adhd. overall i think dave has had some rough patches but grows up to be sweeter than hed like to let on. ill spare you anymore reading and end it there, thanks for asking again! ^_^

#homestuck #dave strider #hermitcyclop

[moonys-love]

i know this is abrupt and wild but GENLOSS?? I NEED TO TALK ABT THIS

CW GENLOSS SPOILERS, MENTIONS OF DEATH, BIG INFODUMP TIME (most if not all of this is without proper spelling or grammar, and in caps :)

(for the ppl who followed me for wh content IM SORRY VERY SORRY IVE BEEN SICK AND OVERWORKED IM GOIJGNTO WORK ON IT SOON) (ALSO ILL PROBAVLY MAYBE WEITE GENLOSS STUFF??)

FIRST OFF, LOVED THE EPISODES

the acting was amazing, especially ranboos seeing as in the first episode they literally got injured bc of a wire, AND THE FINAL SCENE?? had me crying bro i did not expect my streamer to be begging for death!! nikis crying in episode two was also MARVELOUS

ALSO HE HAD A CHANCE TO LIVE WHEN I FOUND OUT (the behind the scenes gl account said that there was an actual live option!) GUT ABSOLUTELY WRENCHING (like patient charlie!! too soon?)

WHEN THE VOTE ENEED AND THE BOX CLOSED, THEY SIDNT DIE IMMEDIATELY. YOU CAN SEE THEM FUCKING TWITCH JUST A BIT AND SECONDS LATER THEY GO LIMP

seeing him crying for us to let him live, then to let him die, and the pure fucking emotions you can hear in their voice AND THAT YOU CAN SEE

the point in episode two when sneeg FIGURED OUT WHAG WAS HAPPENEINF AND ALMOST ESCAPED JSUT TO BECOME PART OF THR MACHINE MY JAW WAS ON. THE. FLOOR. AND WHEN NIKI DIED? THEN VINNY(??) DIED?? THEN IT WAS ETHAN (i believe that was the first blood that’s wasn’t a “glitch”!! AND ENDING IT WITH SNEEG AND AUSTIN GETTING CRUSHED

I DID NOT TRUST THE HUTCH GUY (?? the hacker dude??) THE WAY THEY REFUSED TO LET RANBOO JUST ESCAPE AND THEN WAS ALL LIKE “oh they’re safe!! yeah the weird spaghetti ennard wire monster that is actively trying to get you won’t!! and neither will the security “people” who are just standing there!! why are you shutting the door you’re fine!!” PLUS THEY REFUSED TO ANSWER ANY OF RANBOOS WUESTIONS ABT STUFF LIKE HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN HERE YADADA

RANBOO WAS TAPPING SOS IN BOTH EPISODE ONE AND TWO (AT LEAST ONCE FROM WHAT IVE SEEN)

IN EPISODE 1 WHEN HE WAS LAYING DOWN ON THE COUCH (i believe from intermission?) THEY WERE TAPPING IT ON THE SIDE OF THE COUCH

ALSO, IN EPISODE 2 IN THE FASHION ROOM WHEN I THINK THEY WERE TURNED AROUND FOR THE SECOND TIME, HES STANDING NEXT TO ETHAN NAD THEYRE ZONING OUT TAPPING IT, THEN THEIR HAND STOPS HIM. ???

i truly believe that the bow from the exit to reveal (whom we thought was dead) hutch was cinematic. absolutely disgusting to know that i was right abt my feeling abt them, but it was still a great twist.

I HAVE NOT TALKED MUCH ABT EPISODE ONE OH

the painting? that’s in charlies room?? he’s able to put his fingers together, unlike the demon charlie earlier when ranboo was making food. my thought was that it was charlie before he got turned into the slime demon, but now idk what to make of it

CHARLIE WOKE UP IN A NEW BUGSTTI!!

I LOVE THAT DEMON CHARLIE WAS STILL ALIVE IN THE RAG THE ENTIRE TIME HE JUST DIDNT SAY A WORD

ALSORHAY IT WAS SPECIFICALLY CHRISTIAN HELL

WHENEVER RANBOO BROKE THE FOURTH WALL I WOULD JS STARE AT HIM ONCE I WAVED I WAS JS LIKE “hello!! i am not trying to murder you!!”

ALSO THIS ONE IMAGE FROM THE TEASER STUFF

LOOK FAMILIAR??

AFTER I WATCHED IT I LOOKED AT THIS SCENE AND WAS JUST LIKE "this is very familiar. OH WAIT-"

THERES NOT MUCH ELSE FOR ME TO SAY (if there is i’ll make another post :) EXECPT FOR RANBOO

IF YOU ARE IN FACT, READING THIS (if so, hello :) but also) SCREW YOU /j AND THANK YOU FOR CREATING THIS MASTERPIECE I CANNOT WAIT FOR MORE ABT GENLOSS (i can guarantee you it’s becoming a new hyperfixstion ppls help me)

anyways i have no more slime i mean slime i mean slime i mean slime i mean slime i mean slime i mean slime-

#SORRY PEOPLE WHO WERE NOT EXPECTING THIS POST #GENLOSS WAS SO FUNKY #THE BRAINROT IS REAL #RANBOO I WOULD TAG YOU (probably not) IF I HAD THE BALLS #WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SO SAD THOUGH #ranboo my good sir just one word #what. #so no head? /j #genlosers #gl #genloss #generation loss #ranboo #ranboolive #gl!sneeg #sneeg #sneegsnag #gl!slimecicle #charlie slimecicle #slimecicle #slmccl #gl!ethan #ethan nestor #gl!niki #niki nihachu

[mwahmichelle]

🎀 goals i have before 2024 🎀

these goals aren’t necessarily things i want to achieve / be able to do by then. just things i want to get into the habit of doing :)

physical goals

1. go to the gym three times a week

im kinda cheating with this one cus i already do this, but i want to be more productive (?) when i go. i also want to set a plan for those three days so i dont do random exercises. (eg arm day: 10 sets of _ exercise, ect.)

2. stretch and use the massagers every evening

my parents recently bought a foot massage machine, a hand massage machine and a neck massage machine. i used them for around two weeks before i stopped lol. i did notice a difference in how much pain and stiffness i was feeling throughout the day, so i want to start using them again, as well as using their back roller and leg bands to help me stretch.

3. walk my sisters dog four to five times a week

walking her dog was so difficult in the summer because of the heat, so hopefully it’ll be easier now that the weather is cooling down :,) its unrealistic to say that ill walk her (the dog)) every night, so ill stick to a minimum of four days :)

study and work goals

1. work every day

sigh. i have a schedule where i work ~30-60 minutes every day, and 8 hours once a week. sounds easy. and it is. i just have problems with discipline, so i’ve been skipping a few days 🤥 that is not good, so i need to focus >:(

2. do homework the day its assigned 🗣️🗣️

in the past, i did all sorts of mental gymnastics to convince myself to do my homework the day before the lesson, but i end up just not doing it 💀 my teachers get pretty worked up about it, as does my mother lol. rightfully so tbh.

3. study ⁉️

i adore studying, so why am i not studying 🤨 makes no sense 🥱 lets get to it, mkay??

self improvement goals

1. self care sunday (morning…)

i have classes every sunday afternoon, but they’re pretty chill, pretty enjoyable :) the main issue with self care sunday, is that most of the time, i dont do enough during the week to deserve them lmfao. its like every day is self care day 🫠

2. explore the city twice a month

i moved to a new city back in february, and still don’t know anyone or anything abt it 😧 i need (!!) to get out more. like, no joke. with my busy schedule, twice a month is the least i can guarantee. its more than i’ve done the past 8 months 🤷🏼‍♀️

3. read and meditate every evening

this one should be easy, but alas. i’ve never been able to meditate, and reading every evening is difficult when u don’t have any books 😺 i shall try my best anyways…

yuh these are my goals ✨

i tried to make them achievable, so no excuses 😠

#take a shot for every time i wrote ‘so’ #becoming that girl #goals #studyblr

[prettyboykatsuki]

hi ari! i hope this doesnt make you uncomfortable for anything -- but do you have any tips for staying motivated as a writer? (writing long fics, series) i always get so amazed by writers who can sit down and just write for a while sobs i always get so distracted. some writers can pump out like 13k long fics in a span of a week i just dont know how they do it sjnsjn maybe im just a slow writer i dunno lol

but if this makes you uncomfortable you can disregard!! i just didnt know who else to reach out to/ask. i hope youre having a lovely day my dear! <3

im answering this making myself tea so sorry if its a little all over the place!

writing stories is sort of complicated and writing long fic is more so about understanding what level of explanation the story youre trying to tell needs. a lot of things can be done effectively in fewer words, but a lot of stories benefit from explanation and action.

i think the place to start is treating your writing with legitimacy. i know this seems a little pretentious but i think a lot of hobbyist writers try to dismiss the genuinely insane amount of effort writing a long story takes in favor of not embarrassing themselves. i definitely used to.

but granting yourself permission to take your work seriously and throw yourself at it because it’s important to you will make the process easier. writing is one of my major hobbies. i spend a ridiculous amount of time on it and treasure it as a sacred ritual. now of course you dont have to do that (dont be like me)

but when you sit down and write, honor your own effort, big or small. when you’re encouraged by your own benchmarks you’re much more inclined to keep going. learn to be proud of your effort. its not lesser because you dont profit from it. and because this is a hobby, write whatever suits your interests and in a way that engages you.

feedback is a complex thing and is often not guaranteed. fall in love with your world. give detail and intricacy. imbue yourself in it. write a story that gratifies yourself before others, whether that be in how it challenges you or how it satisfies you you. everyone has a different relationship to writing, but when you find yours - nurture it and be kind to it.

the practical advice is write a little everyday and have a clear way to make progress. i dont always plan as i go but with fics that are long - you need to be able to create events and work on them bit by bit so outlining is helpful. dont punish yourself if you work better in short bursts, just plan around that.

if you’re at your most motivated when you write in 15 minute intervals do that and then stop. and i know this seems counterintuitive to everything else ive said but you NEED to take breaks and often

being wrapped up in your world can burn you out sometimes. so take pauses when you need it.

a lot of my motivation for writing is wrapped up in not liking to do much else honestly. i go through dry periods but the reason im able to write so much is because i dont put too much pressure on myself to do it anymore. if i dont want to write ill do something else but if i do want to, i will. once i start everything else is easier

#return to sender #writing advice #<- i have a tag for that also

[fratboykate]

I love hearing you talk about what actually goes on in the film and TV industry. It really shows that lay people truly have no idea what happens behind the scenes and who's actually integral to getting their favorite show made. I have a dumb question related to that stuff if that's OK? If a film is indie produced and doesn't get any kind of distribution aside from being put on amazon and apple TV, does that have any chance of turning a profit?

i saw a writer use the term in the last few weeks that i love because the idiots have really come out of the woodwork since the whole strike talk started. that writer called it "fansplaining". it's where fans try to explain shit they have no idea about TO THE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY WORK DOING THE THING and then you ask them "what are your qualifications to even be talking on this" and WITHOUT FAIL it's always something like "well i took my AV class in high school" or "i took a class in college" or even worse "im a cinephile" and in the same breath are saying the dumbest shit of all time that has no connection to reality. ive said it before and ill say it again: unless you work in the industry or are like a trades reporter (and surprisingly during the strike we've also found out a lot of them dont know jack shit either) you know nothing. the amount of stupidity i see said on here, twitter, or IG comments is insane and people say it with their full chests too. and they wont hear otherwise either. you live in bumfuck, arkansas and have never step foot on a set or a development meeting. i could take a class on welding and would still never dare to pretend to know more than the people who actually earn a living doing this. no one has enough hubris to walk into surgery and tell a doctor they know more whats going on better than they do but suddenly when it comes to the industry EVERYONE is an expert because theyve read a wikipedia article. this industry is complex and layered and the vast majority of what happens and how it happens never makes it to the people who don't work within it.

stop pretending you know anything. about how it's done or about the people who work in it. those actors you love and who couldnt have more sanitized public personas as "uwu sweet baby angels"??? a lot of them are fucking pricks. they play a version of themselves for the cameras and the fans the same way they play characters. you.dont.know.people. and you dont know shit about shit. stay in your lanes and stop embarrassing yourselves online.

and as far as your question...hardly ever is the honest answer. those platforms are like spotify. everyone can through their song on there but having it on there wont guarantee it'll get plays. its almost the equivalent of self-publishing a book. you can throw it on amazon but...is anyone going to read it??? the way indie has both eroded and become oversaturated at the same time because, back to my previous point, everyone thinks theyre a "filmmaker" just because they can buy a camera is a whole other conversation for another day.

#why do y'all even egg me on lol #you know i love a good rant #and cant ever help myself when i need to call someone stupid #because thats what a lot of people sound like online talking about shit they have no idea about...utterly stupid #anonymous #answers #hollywood

[haeroniel-doliet]

A lil updates and thoughts going on rn! Mostly about art again :') putting it under read more tho bc it got away from me again all rambly lmao

Hooo wheee! Life has been a little busy huh. Finally going to work again even if it is pretty much part time, other hobbies im keeping up with, trying to keep up on life admin and its going almost well! Shame im realizing i havent worked on my drawings in well over a month now 😅

Part of me is slightly dreading going back to them rn bc ive spent hours and hours on them already and they still need many hours before i post them....

You know that one guy on like tiktok/youtube shorts whos a really friendly old artist with a hobbit hole studio and does like 1hr paintings that look incredible? Obviously i dont expect myself being rusty and also not with years and years of experience to do the same but wouldn't that be the dream? To be able to just create and be done and happy with it in just an hour or a few and move on. How sad it is how many things i have started and not finished, outting in hours and hours where it doesnt really make even a super significant difference.

Also its that dinluke positivity week thing (god i hope this doesnt show up in the tag lmao sorry) i was really hyped months ago thinking its great prompts and great time to partake in my favourite fandom especially before february 2023 inevitably changes the scene in some way! But all of a sudden mid november is here and thats kinda terrifying! I have no clear idea for any of them, nothing im like desperate to draw and my current drawing doesnt really fit them either. Im thinking maybe i should try like, giving myself idk 2 hrs max to just make something beginning to end and if i hate it its ok i dont have to post it. But maybe i will and it could be fun! Sure i am too tired to properly do anything but idk, even making one post could give me excitement and hype for things i used to enjoy and something that isnt just real life and like job related.

To be fair i could also go for the much more guaranteed dopamine boost and play a video game ive been thinking of playing again for months. Sure i dunno which to choose and im not like super inclined to anything even tho i would like to play multiple of them again, just playing alone is a little boring i guess.

The more i spend just overthinking the quicker my sunday will be over and ill have to do next week and god knows ill be busy!! I should try drawing bc its there floating in my mind and could be easier to slip in into the day routine to do a little here and there rather than like, playing skyrim for 30 mins loll. Or oblivion bc for some reason ive been missing it. Or battlefront, even tho that is really hard to play without really trying my hardest and getting readjusted to the pace of it

Alright ok im gonna set up my digital art stuff, im gonna challenge myself to sketch something on theme for all the prompts and see what ends up catching my attention. If i can do 1 or even a couple of them thatd be really really neat!

[galaxygrv]

cw for explicit descriptive abuse + bullying. it is explained what it is (hitting, hair ripping, verbal, destruction of personal valuables, starvation, etc etc) and most experiences are explained in detail. reminder that this is a big vent for us.

some older memories we have below the read more. we added detailed explanations for them. 98% of these are from ages 3-14 . this is a long post and it gets worse as the post goes on. however, i did not include some memories due to their explicit and incredibly triggering nature.

psst: some of these are prone to "change", we have dissociative amnesia and our memories shift around a lot. there is no guarantee that any of these are completely accurate, so im only including the ones that are consistent through time.

> insert five vague warrior cats larp sessions we had with our friends at the time

> i remember this was the main way our elementary friends would bully us. it was mostly an excuse to injure and berate us while still including us in the friendgroup.

> fighting with our friends all the time because they were bullying us (physically !) and they got mad we retaliated and blamed it all on us.

> this is from ages 6-14. theres other more specific memories but they moved from just pushing/biting/pulling hair/hitting in elementary to straight up stealing our food (all of it, they would run away and eat it and then throw the garbage at us when we found them) and holding us down and trying to make us bruise as dark as possible (we were anemic and severely malnourished, we bruise easy). it was sadistic and fucked up, we hate that they would deny it even directly after they did it.

> i think that last part counts as gaslighting ? just realized this

> classic "mom and dad are screaming at each other again"

> they would often complain to us afterwards, still insulting the other. we were caught in the middle of it all the time, theyd try and win us over. we had a strong sense of justice (autism) so we would judge it by a case-by-case basis. of course we were still biased by whoever was talking to us afterwards, but sometimes even that didnt sway us.

> classic #2 "mom and dad are screaming at me again"

> the majority of times this was bcuz of our arfid. plus we were likely in the middle of developing dissociation techniques so it would make our arfid 500x worse (we all have arfid and different tastes in food based on whos fronting/cocon/etc. so as a developing sys we were in for a wild ride)

> having food shoved into our mouth during school hours from the security staff.

> this was because of our arfid and our knowledge of our limits. we said "ill throw up! i hate it!" and theyd get surprised when we spat it out or threw up and cried. they would often keep us after lunch hours ended to try and humiliate us into complying. this was almost every day, btw. the force feeding wasnt every single day, usually once a week, but the after-lunch humiliation was every day. kindergarten to 5th grade.

> we eventually started trying to give our friends our lunches so the staff would think we ate it. sometimes other kids that didnt like us would tell the staff what we were doing, and other times we'd get caught passing it under the table.

> the day we decided to stop delivering the "your child refuses to eat" letters that various staff members at school would give us.

> it was tiring and we'd always get yelled at by our parents afterwards, so we decided it wasnt worth it anymore. it was the same thing over and over again, and we were over it by that point. they continued giving letters until we graduated to middle school. thankfully the staff there didnt care if we ate or not, which was very jarring but we were very happy about it.

> insert reading about dissociation and going "haha i dont do that at all!" when we just forgot we do

> later reading about dissociation two years later and realizing "oh shit. i do that all the time. what the fuck"

> the year we figured it out was almost directly after this we quit therapy. we also promptly figured out we were a system after coming across some system instagram accounts.

> trying to sing with our friend in front of our music class in elementary and no one acknowledges it, even when the teacher tells them to

> i think this is around the time we developed social anxiety (which is likely avpd now). its such a tiny event but its haunted us since it happened. we think of it almost daily.

> getting our art + writing notebooks being thrown away by our "friends" and losing an entire year's worth of work)

> this was done by the most physically violent pair of kids we knew. i saw it happen and tried to get them back but they dragged us away (grabbing us + pulling/pushing and hitting us if we struggled) before the teacher saw anything. we told our teacher but she didnt believe us about the hitting, but said she'd check for the notebooks on monday (it was a friday, which is the day that the garbage was taken out, so we lost those notebooks forever).

> many, many birthdays where we ended up crying because our friends were still the same as they were in school.

> these are some of the most blurry memories, we only remember one with detail. we were incredibly overstimulated and when paired with the bullying, as an autistic kid with no coping mechanisms does, we shut down. we couldnt talk, move, really not much else other than cry and push/hit anyone that came near us. we genuinely felt like we were in real danger (which.. we kinda were), the physical reaction was not out of malice. our mom had to end the party early and got mad that we reacted like that, it was a big party at our house and she spent a lot of time and money on it.

> one of our friends friends would take our entire lunchbox (which was often the only food we would get in the day) and eat it all . our other friends thought it was hilarious, even my girlfriend at the time didnt care about it, they told us to just eat at home. we ended up reporting them to one of the counselors and they got talked to, which resulted in them telling our mutual friends. this then turned into everyone getting mad at us for not taking the joke, and they ignored everything we said for around three weeks. we ended up eating in various teachers classrooms for those weeks, which pissed off the security staff, who then wrote us a referral card for disobedience.

> this is a little extension of our friends stealing our food and running off with it. we told our mom and she told us to tell someone because we needed to stand up for ourselves, otherwise it would continue. it still happened after they stopped ignoring us, so we gave up and let them do it.

> our P.E./leadership teacher in middle school would bully and humiliate us. im not exaggerating, he genuinely watched other kids HIT US and said it was our fault that we werent defending ourselves. he would allow the other kids to berate us and lie about our "ulterior motives", which was mostly skipping assignments (which was actually us just putting our head down because we didnt others seeing us crying).

> in P.E. he would throw things (typically the balls for sports and such) at us and pretend to be sorry when we cried. he would often single us out and start literal CHANTS of the entire class telling us to join in on the assignment. which was often very tough workouts and random sports, things we could not focus on due to dissociation and we often were punished for not doing it correctly or having a subpar performance (due to: arfid and malnutrition/starvation consequences)

> bonus: he would also abuse the other kids. he threatened to write up a kid if he didnt keep running The Mile , who had an extreme nosebleed that covered him in blood (the kid ended up passing out after trying to continue). one of my friends also had an asthma attack during that same day and he said she was faking it as she was on the floor begging for her inhaler (i ended up being the one to drag her to the nurses office halfway across the school, and by that point she could barely breathe).

> bonus bonus: the teacher did not get in trouble for any of this, he was loved by the other staff members. even my mom tried talking to the principal and he didnt get any repercussions.

(this one is very detailed and long and deals with eating disorders + medical malpractice (i think thats the correct term))

> we went to an eating disorder clinic for our arfid at around 14 years old. we were placed with the younger kids (mostly aged 8-12), all of which had either bulimia or anorexia. they did not focus on our arfid at any point despite saying they did, and lied about our behavior and condition to our parents.

> they would starve us. yes im serious. they would yell and gather the staff around in a group and take our food from our hands and tell us we needed to sit with the other kids (which we avoided due to past experiences: read literally anything to do with the other memories in this list). they would not let us eat, even after we complained about severe hunger pains, which btw would make our legs give out and we couldnt do anyrhing but curl up and cry. they often used the excuse of "theres no one to watch you eat" even though there were usually up to five staff members watching me beg for food. we were yelling and screaming at them to give us food, which they responded by calling our parents and telling them we were refusing to eat and that we needed a feeding tube. we broke at that point and started screaming at the phone that they were lying, so they hung up after saying we needed to be brought to the hospital.

> we got screamed at in the car the entire ride home after that (around 30 minutes). we were so dissociated the entire time we couldnt remember a word that was said, we just sat there. we couldnt even explain what they were lying about, we couldnt remember they were talking about the hospital or feeding tube at all, just that they lied about something. our parents then decided we were lying because we couldnt keep our story straight, and decided that if we didnt cooperate with them then theyd hospitalized us. we ended up sucking it up and eating with the group after that, which we cried while eating and the staff members got mad at us for it, saying we were triggering the other kids.

> we got put outside the group therapy room a lot for "triggering the other kids", even though we were told to vent about our problems. we actually couldnt recognize nor remember our bullying/abuse experiences, as dissociation does, so we would talk about our eating (that was our only other irl thing we did, we didnt have any friends left at this point, nor were we allowed outside the house). if we talked about food, no matter if it was positive or negative, we were told to leave and to think about what we did ("triggering the other kids"). which, btw, none of them talked about being triggered.

> the adults would also vent about their adult problems, which was meant to put them on a level that the rest of us were on, but.. they would talk about extreme problems. like ptsd/trauma experiences and severe abuse. and murder/death. and graphic injury. things that the kids werent allowed to talk about. it was weird, and we're autistic and didnt understand at the time so we obviously asked about it, and got told that theyre adult problems, so adults get to talk about it. makes no sense but ok!

> also, the other kids were treated like shit. we (/sys) were often singled out, but its not like the others were spared from it. this little girl, and we still remember her so clearly, had to be around 8-9 years old. she was anorexic, as was a result of her parents, and she LOVED horses. she got moved from a ranch to the city for her ED, and was told once she got her feeding tube removed then she could go horseback riding again. of course, because this clinic is full of sadistic pieces of shit, the day she got it removed was also the day she got it put back in, per request of her parents. she was hysterical, and we never saw her again. that was the moment we realized they were really just feeding off our pain, some need for power over sick kids or something. there was no reason to put the tube back in, she was at a stable weight and was ready to begin eating again. her parents just wanted it back in, that was the only explanation they gave her (they told her this in front of the group before she was taken out of the room to get it put back in)

> also they seperated this girl from her entire fucking friendgroup, removed her support system (therapist + friends), forced her to stay with her ABUSIVE parents all the time (being on 1:1 watch with them as well), and blamed her for all her problems. they gaslit her into believing her girlfriend, who was six months older than her, was an adult that was grooming and abusing her, even though the girlfriend was the one to say that her parents were abusive, and had videocalled and shown proof of her age MANY times. there was absolutely no evidence of abuse. we watched her mental health decline exponentially. she was so, so bright and happy and fun to be around, and by the end of her stay at the clinic she was nothing like she used to be. it was so sad to see her decline, and we even told her we would give her our contact info if she needed to talk, but she refused and said she was "better" now.

> there were a few other patients that were treated okay i think, and we met a girl that went there in the past (she was in the teen group) at my highschool later on. she often praised the place when it was brought up and said we were exaggerating, but we know we werent. we cried every day before and after we went, we were miserable and in pain all the time. we suffered from severe restrictive disordered eating soon after that (which i will NOT go into detail about. however: believe me when i say it was severe). we also gained around half our body weight within three weeks, which by the way was incredibly fucking dangerous and should NOT have happened. we had been starved and malnourished since birth, thats an absolutely insane route to take for weight gain. they said we were "healthier" and that it was a "safer" weight at the end of it, but in reality we were overweight and still. fucking. malnourished. we got healthier an entire year later. we were a perfectly healthy and stable weight at the beginning of the stay, too! we are still borderline overweight now, but we feel a bit better about our body now that its been a while since the clinic.

> also, as a bonus, they tried to diagnose us with anorexia because we paced around our room while daydreaming! our mom convinced them not to do an automatic diagnosis based off of that, but they still threatened us (privately) that theyd still do it if i didnt stop pacing.

> ah, bonus bonus: when we were getting tested for vitals, the doctors thought we were lying about our reactions to the malnutrition (our only obvious symptoms were severe and constant hunger pains, and blacked out vision from our iron deficiency. we never passed out thou!!!). it turns out we were likely a month or two away from death if we had continued to live like we were ^^ the only reason we werent hospitalized is bcuz we were there voluntarily at the time.

anyways thats uhm. most of our old memories. sorry for the long ass post. i actually dont remember any positive ones right now (which i intended to include as a happy ending to this post) which is not odd for us but im still a little disappointed about it lol

#cw abuse #abuse cw #cw eating disorder #eating disorder cw #vent cw #cw vent #🐾 #our posts #this was painful to write but nice to get it out i guess

[lostacelonnie]

Thank you! I kinda just. Realized i pay for all my own stuff & have for years so whats stopping me y'know. Oh we love to hear about the fall of far right leadership i hope that turns out well & you can get your eventual hrt as well. Oh yeah i never wear swimsuits to the beach typically. Always been with people i dont like or too many strangers for my liking. But i like to find seashells & stuff. Oh? English is such a weird language having a partner to learn from who's fluent is like. Required almost. So im glad you had one. I appreciate when people are chill as long as you try its nice & leaves room for mistakes that'll happen inevitably. Got confused for a moment & the concept of having a birthname you dont have listed in your bio lost me like. What do ya mean you had any different name what. Both mine are easy so i dont have that as a first name problem. Where is tromso? I wish you luck in that fall/winter trips are so nice. I especially love to go camping in them because less people so more space. Oh she just gets all the counters wow. Gonna have to focus on her a bit for sure. I dont know if i have enough for guaranteed kafka but i will probably try. Just to see what happens. If nothing else i hope bronya or welt come home for you. Fontaine is one of the regions im most interested in so ill stick through for it but i might squeeze a break in towards natlan honestly. Chasm was. A pain anyways i do not blame you for skipping it honestly. Thats an average day in warsaw? Wild. Ohhh that sounds like it was a blast please pass belated birthday wishes to avery for me. Hair dye is such a fun thing to do congrats on the red! I wanna dye mine again soon. Eyeliner is a thing i wanna teach myself to do too ive just been. Forgetting a lot

yeah thats very understandable!!! and thank you!! after a long time i finally feel at least a little hopeful ab this countrys future but well see. yeah i have the exact same thing but at the same time drying a lot of clothes is Annoying [esp on camps since thats the main place i actually go into the water on] so i often just put regular clothes over a swimsuit. win-win situation. seashells ARE fun to find but i always forget to bring sth to carry them sjdjflksjf plus its pretty hard to find actually nice ones, over here at least. YEAH god plus the way english is taught in polish schools does NOT help so honestly if i didnt have additional lessons i probably wouldnt have learned anything despite studying for a looooong time. and yeah its that way with almost anything isnt it. AH I DO THAT EXACT THING SO OFTEN i genuinely forget that people Have birthnames. or even names in general i just treat usernames as first names a lot of the time. tromso is the place in norway i was in!! pretty far up north but very charming. thank you!! ahhh i almost never go camping but perhaps One Day..... yeah clara has been my best friend ever since i got her. shes so fun to use. thankies and good luck to both of us!!! already got 106 pulls ready + the 9 more from the login event + 20 days left to grind so while i defo wont get enough for guarantee i think it might be possible for me to get her. honestly the region im most excited for is snezhnaya and thats gonna be the last one released iirc so. still a while until that happens. but at least when/if i come back im gonna have a lot of stuff to check out so thats fun. i unfortunately suffer from having to see everything thats new Immediately so i often speedrun new versions in 3 days and them im like....... What Now........ until the next update and then the cycle repeats. ah i should play more games that arent released this way. but yeah while the chasm was quite pretty imo and the story was. well. it wasnt STUNNING but it was fun. but the exploration aspect SUCKED good lord i hated how i could never quite tell if im in the region displayed on the map or below it. agh. glad thats over. and well yknow how it is with big cities, at least i live in a fairly peaceful part so we dont really have big stuff like that often. i will!! and thanks!! i agree hair dye IS very fun but unfortunately my hair texture makes it really hard for dye to stick so it washes off quickly :'] but alas. and yeah fair jdjfklg i have the same thing PLUS. its annoying i can never get it even

#actually speaking of updates. star rail 1.2 ahhhhhhhh........ fun #AND honkai 6.8 relatively soon #bringing the second great art book war with it #equally scared and excited #asks #pen pals

[meltamorphosis]

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Ebony!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

“What’s up Draco?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

You know, I used to think he and I were the same. Seeing as how he was so small and slender, just like a girl…

In a men’s society where physical health and strength are the standards we are measured against, he was looked down upon.

I thought that he’d be frustrated and rebellious, with an inferiority complex simmering under the surface.

That he held the same dreams and desires as me, that he was someone who would come running toward the same goal.

So I thought I understood his feelings. To my embarrassment, I was mistaken.

I thought he would sympathize with and support me, and fight by my side… So when I was admitted to the hospital for my condition, I had him do what I wanted while I was unable to move.

And what I wanted was to bring revolution to Yumenosaki and the idol industry. For that purpose, I had to squeeze out the pus and disease and dispose of them.

At that time, I was in and out of the hospital, so it was a lot of trouble trying to do everything myself.

It was my first trial, as something that no one had tried before… And I didn’t have much confidence in it, so I had him give it a go first.

While indoctrinating him with half-truths, I used the student council, created new plans…

And from both on the surface and behind the scenes, I secretly tried to control him.

That trial went well, for the most part.

I broke up the swollen Chess, used Judgment to remove the ill, affected areas… used Duel to kill off enemies, the disease attacking from outside.

Judgment was put down as J, Duel as D, and any other DreamFes were labelled as O…

For convenience, I separated them by alphabetic letters on the student council’s paperwork.

The remnants of that alphabetic management system are why even now DreamFes are officially called S1, A1, and the like.

Well, I digress.

The point is, DreamFes around that time was still just an experiment… It was still an unpolished prototype, so there was no guarantee it would work as I’d expected.

So to take the responsibility of possible failure off me, I fixed someone else at the center of it. In other words, that someone was Tsukinaga-kun.

He was my stand-in protagonist. Thanks to him, I managed to collect a considerable amount of practical data and removed quite a bit of pus from the school.

Of course, we may call it a war or something along those lines, but there were no actual casualties.

The defeated continued on with their carefree lives, but in the later revolution, I made them my supporters.

Tsukinaga-kun continued his steady growth beyond my expectations, and his strength grew far too great…

So to put an end to all of that, I held Checkmate after my condition stabilized.

Checkmate… It was only DreamFes in history to be labelled with the letter C, and became the point at which the path split.

After that, the protagonist changed. I went into action, moving along our plan to conquer the Five Oddballs.

Tsukinaga-kun had exhausted his role. It was clear he was on the verge of a decline.

As he defeated his former comrades, one after another, he soon became resented by everyone and could no longer triumph in DreamFes battles…

But even then, he would cry justice, like Don Quixote, as he continued to fight the villains.

We were concerned with essentially the same things, so there were times when we fought together, too.

However, that relationship didn’t last long, either.

After all, he could probably guess what I’d been planning. He’d say something like “You’re the mastermind, huh~”, and challenge me on many occasions. Either way, I shot back.

He’d already been driven into a corner by then, and no one would stop to listen to the words of a bygone hero, now despised and ostracized.

In fact, people would gather around me in sympathy, telling me how bad they felt hearing such strange things being said to me.

I took advantage of every one of his actions to kindle the fire of my revolution. He burned up, disappeared… and everything went just as I had planned.

Just like the foolish naked king, you all just embarrassed yourselves in letting yourselves be used. I do offer my condolences, though I suppose I’m the last person you’d want empathy from.

It was a war. Those who were deceived are at fault, and those who survived preside as justice.

Of course I felt terrible, but I continued to tell myself that… And I stood atop your remains.

At least this sacrifice wasn’t in vain… All I can do now is assert this.

hey enstars fandom (enstars kin included, ive seen you do this before). i see you making fun of rainbow circus. you're underestimating fine, i think. you're the weak ones, and youre the next ones our unit is going to crush have you forgotten that we're still considered yumenosaki's most formidable unit? have you forgotten the events of the war? we still have it in us. dont treat our song like a joke, and don't underestimate us.Gonestars is an interactive killing game based on the cast of Ensemble Stars. Through a google form, 49 participants representing each main character in Enstars are taken in. Their main goal is to find the disbander, a player among the 49. Players must discuss who to eliminate each day to execute the disbander, and upon doing so, the surviving players will win the game. More info can be found on the official Twitter.Enstars is gay indeed. But you should know that they are different. They are not like you. They are the wonderful kind of gay. As for you. you are the opposite. They have more worth than you've ever had and you should know that.Hatsune Miku will never, ever put on a bad show. Every night, her pigtails will cascade flawlessly into four-foot azure foxtails. Every night, her choreographed steps will come down perfectly in place. Every night, her voice will align with the pitch, her internal tempo will fall in lockstep with the beat. As a Vocaloid—a computer-generated ”vocal android”—Miku is incapable of screwing up. Perfection is in her programming. As a pop star, she is infallible.Who the fuck is Hatsune Miku? Some may say she’s a Vocaloid, the poster child for the voice synthesizer software engineered by Crypton Future Media. Others may say she’s just an idol, one of the pure virtual variety, playing shows as a hologram from time to time. Others will attribute her likeness to mostly being a videogame character, appearing time and time again as the face of Sega’s Project DIVA rhythm game franchise. But I say she’s something more. Miku is a God. Dancing, singing, performing extraordinaire Hatsune Miku does not know pain. She only knows happiness, glee, cheerfulness. Except for that time in Project DIVA X when I gave her a totem pole as a present, she wasn’t too happy about that. But still, Miku’s the type of person whose emotions are always dialed up to 11. She wants to feel pleasant 24/7, and if that happiness isn’t maintained, she grows disappointed. Miku’s occasional disappointment reminds me of my mom’s disappointment when I don’t call her back within a day. Or my boyfriend’s disappointment when I insist that no, I don’t actually want mac n’ cheese for dinner for the third time this week. Miku’s saddened eyes burn holes directly into my skull. I feel bad about not cheering up the virtual girl.Kimi no koto o kangae nagara shakashaka WHIPPER kakimawashite

CHOCOLATE to nama CREAM ni sotto boku no kimochi in

Ajimi bakka shiteta kara hana no shita ni rippa na ohige

Nee nee, CHOCHALATE tte honba no CHOCOLATIER ppokute

niatterun janai?

Jishin nai toki ya fuan na toki

Mitsuru & Nazuna: (TEMPERING TIME)

Kimi no kirakira no egao ni genki o moratta yo

Mitsuru & Tomoya & Hajime: Yasashisa ni tsutsumarete bokura seichou shite yukunda

Aa kimi ni totemo kansha shitai!

Mitsuru & Tomoya & Hajime: Datte sekai wa

Datte sekai wa

VALENTINE DAY

Ukarete pyonpyon tobidete pyonpyon

Usagi de gozaimasu

Hora ne honki dasuto usagi ni nacchaunda ze

Takusan no fanfan HEART o fanfan

Arigato gozaimasu

Kimi ni tedzukuri no choko o otodoke ni yattekimashita

Amakute

Shoppakute

MAGICAL na aji kamo dakedo

Usagi nari no KISS & LOVE ga gyuutte tsumatteru yo

Tabete hoshiinda aan shite!

RAINBOW no CHOCO SPRAY parapara yousei no ashiato

Hoshikuzu mitai ni kirameku no wa giniro no arazan

ROMANTIC de kanari meruhen na dekibae ni totsuzen no yoromeki

Nee nee, chokkore tte KIRSCH no kaori ni yotte

mawatterun janai?

Shippai shita toki guruguruna toki

Tomoya & Hajime: (TEMPERING TIME)

Boku ni yume o kasaneru kimi ni yuuki o moratta yo

Mitsuru & Tomoya & Hajime: Kitai sarereba sareru hodo ni seichou shite yukunda

Aa kimi ni totemo kansha shitai!

Mitsuru & Tomoya & Hajime: Datte sekai wa

Datte sekai wa

VALENTINE DAY

Awatete pyonpyon korogete pyonpyon

Usagi de gozaimasu

Oshiri no manmaru shippo ga CHARM POINT desu

Ryoute ippai fanfan ii ne! o fanfan

Arigato gozaimasu

Kimi ni tedzukuri no choko o otodoke ni yattekimashita

Mitame wa do, do, dou kana?

Mitsuru & Tomoya: Geijutsu bakuhatsu shichatta kedo

Usagi nari no KISS & LOVE ga gyuutte tsumatteru yo

tabesasete ageru aan shite

Shitteta?

Choco o taberu to koishiteru

Kibun ni naru n datte!

Kiku?

Kikitai?

Tameshi ni minna de

Mitsuru & Tomoya & Hajime: Tabesase aikko shite mita hanashi!

(ee, uwaa, sore itchadamee!!!)

Ukarete pyonpyon tobidete pyonpyon

Usagi de gozaimasu

Bokura honki dasuto usagi ni nacchaun desu

Takusan no fanfan HEART o fanfan

Arigato gozaimasu

Kimi ni tedzukuri no choko o otodoke ni yattekita ze

Amakute

Shoppakute

MAGICAL na aji kamo dakedo

Usagi nari no KISS & LOVE ga gyuutte tsumatteru yo

Tabesasete ageru aan shite♡

aan shite♡

My name is Klee of the Knights of Favonius. I’m 10 years old. My room is in the North-west section of the Knights of Favonius Headquarters, where the Confinement Room is located, and I have a lot of friends. I am the Spark Knight of the Knights of Favonius, and I get to the Confinement room by 7 PM at the latest. I don’t grind, but I occasionally fish-blast. I’m in bed by 9 PM, and make sure I get 12 hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a plate of Barbecued Mondstadt Bass and doing about 20 minutes of bomb-tinkering before going to bed. I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby. I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no casualties at my last detention. I’m trying to explain that I am a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I care not to trouble myself with any artifact domains, like the Hidden Palace of the Zhou Formula, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn’t lose to anyone.

THE ENGLISH ENSEMBLE STARS WIKI

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THE ENGLISH ENSEMBLE STARS WIKI

The War

KR Enstars!! Stickers 1 Tomoya Small.png

Uh, you sure about that?

This story deals with topics that may be upsetting for some readers. Please check the content warnings first!

※ References to violence and suicide.

KR Enstars!! Stickers 1 HiMERU Small.png

HiMERU sees.

This section contains spoilers. HiMERU advises to proceed with caution.

(Holy Knight of Silver) Arashi Narukami CG.png

Arashi visiting the cenotaph of those who committed suicide[1]

The war (戦争 sensou) took place one year before the Ensemble Stars! timeline and concerns the drastic social and structural reform of Yumenosaki Private Academy. Preparations for the war began spring, the start of the school year, and the war came to a close in autumn of the same year, following the defeat of Wataru Hibiki.

The central conflict of the war hinges on Eichi Tenshouin, with the help of Tsumugi Aoba and Keito Hasumi, mobilizing ex-fine and the student body against the talented Five Eccentrics in order to cull weak and unmotivated students from Yumenosaki while allowing him to triumph over these five geniuses, whom he would normally not be able to defeat.

While the students who lived through the war refer to it in violent terms, no literal blood was spilled during the so-called "battles" of the war. Additionally, no one was killed, though many students will metaphorically refer to what happened as a killing. However, students were bullied and forced to leave school prior to the war and during it, and a few had committed suicide. After the events of the war, a cenotaph was erected in the memory of these students.

i think im having a stroke

#melty answers #long post #im not putting this in any of my other tags

[husumhagan0]

How much for dentures upper and lower and mini implants to secure both of them with no insurance in ohio .....

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#insurance #ins