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svnflowery · 3 years

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hold me through the storm, and i promise i'll be back tomorrow — akutagawa ryuunosuke

akutagawa x gn!reader

genre: hurt/comfort, angst but not really

warnings: subtle mentions of suicide if you squint, but nothing explicit

a/n: whew, i haven't written anything semi-serious in a good two years so im sorry for the rusty quality. there's not enough aku content so i had to take matter into my own hands

tiny droplets fell onto the exposed skin of your arm as you helped akutagawa put on his pajama shirt.

he had just finished bathing, you helping him wash his hair as he tried his best not to doze off; he came to your apartment to be with you, after all, and he wanted to stay awake for as long as possible, though his eyelids, tired with accumulated lack of sleep, were screaming at him to let them cover his silver eyes.

a light tug on his hair broke him out of his daze, and he looked up to see you smiling softly at him. you knew he had had a specially draining day today, not only having to attend two intense missions straight, but also having met dazai and atsushi coincidentally in one of them. chuuya had informed you about the whole ordeal, and your heartstrings tugged at your soul, aching, for you felt akutagawa's pain as if it was your own.

you hated the frustration swimming in his eyes whenever he came home to you after days like today— his cheeks glistening with brushstrokes of rage and heartache. your heart broke a bit more each time akutagawa silently put his head on your shoulder, forgetting greetings, lost in his painful and too familiar turmoil in his head. every time you held him close, whispering sweet affirmations against his hair, and every time you felt his trembles grow ever so slightly.

you finished buttoning his shirt and gave his nose a sweet, short peck as he held you close, cold hands gripping your waist as if it was his anchor in the vast sea that were his self-deprecating thoughts. "it's okay", you murmur, trying to ignore the sting in your eyes for you wish you could take all his pain away, tug it out of him and throw it far, far away. holding his face and rubbing your thumbs over his cheekbones ever so softly, so careful that one would think you were holding the most delicate of porcelain in your hands, you whisper, "it's okay. i'm here, and i'm not leaving you alone". akutagawa closes his eyes, sighing shakily but slowly relaxing under your touch. "you did great today, ryuu. i'm proud of you", kissing his cheek, his heart jumped violently, never fully getting used to your loving affection.

in the silence of your small bathroom he opened his eyes, one of his hands slowly resting behind your head, stroking the back of your neck. looking into your eyes, he had one thing clear: he may face the devil himself, he may surf through the deepest pits of the hell that was his own mind, he may fall many times under his demons, but at the end of the day, he knew you'd always be there to hold his hand, tug him away from the burgundy hands trying to claw at his neck and hold him tight. he might have to face all of that tomorrow, and the day after, but knowing he had you waiting for him at the end of the journey gave him enough strength to make it through the day.

#imma just drop this and dip #if u saw this no u didnt #bsd imagines #bsd blurb #bsd scenarios #bsd fanfic #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa imagines #bsd akutagawa #bsd angst #idk #tw suicide mention

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yatsugareboyf · 4 years

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Please may I request, Aku, Dazai, and Chuuya with an s/o that’s really sweet and kind to them? Like, they’re just an angel and are offer nothing but love 💕

tysm anonie! finally an aku request MMMMMM I LOVE U AKUTAGAWA MUWAH also sorry if im late ;; online school is an ASS

hcs for akutagawa, dazai, and chuuya with a sweet! s/o

akutagawa ryuunosuke

we're starting off with my baby ilysm

at first hes like

"wtf r u doing"

cause you're bringing him tea all the time

offering to do his paperwork sometimes

and you're not even scared???? of him????

bro hes gonna be so confused

he ignores you at some point im sorry

its not that he finds u annoying, he just doesnt understand how you're so kind to him

like????? bro

"akutagawa-san?"

"......what"

"why are you ignoring me? did i do something, akutagawa-san?"

"i just don't understand..... why are you so kind?"

you blink, before giggling and settinf down his tea on his desk

"i just feel like being kind, cause i feel like no one had been to you." then you turn to leave the room

and now hes lowkey attached

NO ONE MAKES HIS TEA BUT YOU

once you start dating, he calls you his angel

"angel, you look tired. what have you been up to?"

"just the usual stuff, some people asked for help ;;”

"help? or did you do the entire thing for them? they're not supposed to take advantage of your kindness like that."

sorry fam akutagawa coming for their asses

he still gets flustered on why you're so kind and sweet to him

when you clean him after a rather messy mission

when you offer to bring his and gin's clothes to the laundromat

when you calm him down whenever the trauma gets him

he still doesnt understand how

but he tries to reciprocate everything

wakes you up with (bought) breakfast

accompanies you during missions to keep you safe

"angel?" he calls to you, walking towards your direction

"hmm? what is it?" you sit up from the sofa, looking back to see the dark-haired mafioso holding a small bouquet of flowers

"these.... are for you....."

hes trying for you, okay

dazai osamu

definitely thinks its weird how you're so kind

how could you when this world is nothing but kind?

but somehow you're still happy and helpful, assisting almost everyone in the agency everyday

even helps naomi with her homework???

so when you're together

he tries his best to make you rest from all the things you do everyday ;;

"belladona, i know you're such an angel, but its 3 am stop making those reports-"

whenever you take a walk with him and see some homeless kids, you cant help yourself

you told dazai to come with you and feed these poor kids

at first he was like "...no? y/n-chan, lets not-"

but he couldn't stand your sad stare at the children

so you both take the children to a nearby restaurant and fed them

and now its basically routine for you and dazai to feed the children

definitely loves how you’re so.....unconditional.

how are you so giving?

thats what he wanna know bae

sometimes uses that kindness but he really doesnt want to ;;

its hard not to take advantage, but he rllt wont

he loves you for being so loving and caring

"belladona, you're such a godsent."

nakahara chuuya

this man kinda doesn't like u at first

IM SO SORRY BUT LIKE

he gets flustered by your sudden kind actions towards him

and he doesnt like it because "its strictly professional"

bullshit chuuya you like it dont u

but he warms up to you once he finds out youre naturally caring

and not gaining his trust for some shit

loves it when you massage him

esp while hes at work, doinf paperwork he will lean to your touch and sigh

loves it when you pour him his favorite wine after your massage

you clean his hats for him

accompany him during missions (even if he doesnt like it) to make sure hes okay

and you clean up his mess-

hates it when mori takes advantage of your kindness

mori uses you a lot for missions that you dont have the courage to say no to

but chuuya will help u out dw

he'll spoil tf out of you

like, dude

you keep refusing but the loads of GIFTS

you're always by his side, some workers mistake you for his assistant

at home, you take care of his wounds and make sure he eats well and is rested

he loves u vv much for all the things you do for him

hes not that great at showing his love other than spending his money

but he cares for you

and will drop kick everyone who dare taint his angel

#bsd #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #chūya nakahara #bungou stray dogs chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #dazai x reader #chuuya x reader #bsd dazai osamu #dazai x y/n #chuuya x y/n #bsd akutagawa #akutagawa ryuunosuke #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa x y/n

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hey-happy-birthday · 2 years

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hey, happy birthday,

selamat ulang tahun yaa, udah masuk dekade ketiga dalam hidup yaa, bertambah umur bertambah juga tanggung jawab, tetep semangat yaa, semakin kesini pastinya hidup gabakal makin gampang, hidup yang gagampang juga bukan hidup yang enak, bukan hidup yang nyaman, tapi itu satu satunya cara kamu bisa terus survive untuk hidup, dengan ke-nggak nyaman-an yang kamu rasain artinya tuhan masih ngasih kamu kesempatan untuk hidup, untuk belajar dan berkembang, dan itu hal yang perlu kamu syukuri, bukan hanya disyukuri tapi perlu dimaksimalkan juga, ketika kamu merasa mulai sedikit temen temenmu yang sering ngajak main sama kamu mungkin tuhan lagi ngasih kamu kelas di mata kuliah komunikasi, yang mana tugas akhir mata kuliah itu kamu diminta tuhan untuk berinisiatif njalin komunikasi lagi ke mereka, ketika kamu ngeliat ada promo skincare yang kamu pengen tapi kondisi lagi nggak memungkinkan, mungkin itu tuhan mulai masuk ke mata kuliah sabar, pada intinya ketidaknyamananmu itu tadi hanya cara tuhan buat nyiapin kamu ngadepin kehidupanmu kedepannya, tujuannya nggak lain ya biar kamu siap dan nyaman ngejalaninnya, tuhan itu sayang, selain dari hal hal yang nggak kamu duga tuhan juga ngasih tunjuk sayangnya dari orang orang di sekitarmu, mami yang ngasih kamu sangu ketika kamu perlu keluar rumah buat ketemu pacarmu, papi yang ngasih kamu kuota ketika kamu mau vidcall sama pacarmu, dan masih banyak lagi orang orang di sekitarmu yang jadi perantara tuhan buat nyalurin rasa sayangnya, hanya saja kadang kurang nampak jelas dan harus pake kacamata dengan lensa kanan kesadaran sama lensa kiri syukur, salah satu orangnya mungkin ya pacarmu, aku, mungkin aku bukan orang yang sempurna, tapi ketidaksemournaan itu mungkin salah satunya kenapa sampe saat ini aku ada disini, karena ini wujud sayang tuhan, kalo aku sempurna mungkin kamu gabakal dikasih mata kuliah mengatasi ego sama tuhan, mungin kamu juga gabakal dapet mata kuliah nahan kangen, mungkin juga kamu gabakal dapet mata kuliah tentang bahasa cinta itu gacuman satu, ya gitu lah kira kira, tuhan masih ngasih kesempatan kamu buat nukmatin rasa sayang dari makhluk sekitarnya sampe saat ini, jadi jangan lupa buat bersyukur yaa, dan jangan bosen buat bersyukur, dua buku yang aku kasih kemaren sebenernya udah aku niatin lama buat beliin dan kasih ke kamu, dan kebetulan nemu waktunya beredeketan sama ulang tahunmu, semoga kamu ingat terus ya, karena semoga kalo kamu nyelesaiin kedua buku itu dan kamu pahamin betul insyaa Allah sejak saat itu juga kamu bakal jadi "kamu" dengan versi yang lebih baik, mungkin aku, dengan rasa sayang yang aku kasih adalah salah satu bentuk rasa sayang tuhan juga, selain itu, makasih ya, makasih udah ngijinin aku jadi perantara tuhan buat nyayangin kamu, makasih banyak udah selalu kuat sampai saat ini, makasih udah selalu berusaha untuk ngelewatin semuanya satu per satu, makasih udah milih untuk nggak nyerah gitu aja dengan keadaan yang ada, mungkin sekarang masuk ke BAB doa, satu hal yang pasti dan mungkin tanpa doa juga bakal tetap terjadi adalah tuhan akan selalu sayang kamu, semoga mengalirnya sayangnya tuhan ke kamu bikin kamu ngalirin sayangmu ke orang orang sekitarmu, mami, papi, dek ryan, termasuk juga aku, semoga semakin berjalannya waktu dan makin gedenya ujian kedepannya kamu bisa tetep kuat, semoga semangatmu untuk selalu belajar dan belajar ditingkatin selalu sama tuhan, kayaknya buat chapter doa yang ditulisin disini gabakal banyak, yang pasti chapter doa gabakal ada habisnya buat kamu, anyway, happy birthday sayang, all the best for you sweetheart, all the best, i love you🖤

nb: im sorry btw if you think all my words was awful, i tried my best, love you

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99adelheid99 · 4 years

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cool so since I’m procrastinating anyways on my school work im just going to write a character study on beast! dazai

because I re read it and im sad and asagiri just loves to make everyone suffer

so spoilers for the beast au

((BTW IM SO SORRY TUMBLR MOBILE ISN’T LETTING ME CUT THE POST TO A READ MORE SO IM GOING TO TRY TO DO IT ON MY PC AND HOPE IT WORKS IF IT DOESNT IM SO SORRY;;;; ))

asagiri has already decided to make dazai a tragic character and break our hearts once, but he decided to also rip them out and spit on it.

in the canon world, we see dazai struggle through depression. ever since he was young he found there was no value in living as he says to mori in the fifteen arc. he tries throughout his life desperately to understand just why humans strive to live, why they fight so hard for their lives and work hard to live life to the fullest.

it’s no different in the many other worlds The Book had created, and that lonely hole in his chest is probably much bigger.

as explained by dazai in the light novel, the power of The Book does not effect him because of his ability, since The Book itself is an ability, dazai naturally cancels it out. because of this, dazai can practically “read his own memories” from the canon world. so he knows everything that happens in the original universe, that goes for every single dazai in every single au. every single one.

this in itself is probably one of the saddest things. if people not understanding dazai didn’t hurt enough in the canon world, imagine how horrible it is that the beast! dazai had suffer with this knowledge alone, because as mentioned, it’s not wise for a lot of people to know about The Book since the world they reside in will become unstable, and have a chance of disappearing.

at the end of the light novel we also learn of dazai’s plan. why he captured gin, and why he wanted to bring akutagawa and atsushi together.

it was for odasaku.

because dazai has the memories from his “original” self, he remember odasaku. he remembers how he died, he remembers that they were best friends, he remembers how odasaku was the only person who understood dazai to his core, he remember how much odasaku means to him.

but odasaku of this world doesn’t remember it at all. because to him it never happened. there is only the beast world and the beast world alone.

this is where the angst hits (harder lol)

dazai figures out (at some time idk when) that this is the only universe that odasaku survives (im not sure how exactly, im assuming he can read the memories of the other dazais? Idk)

he remembers odasakus passionate of becoming a writer, he remembers odasakus determination not to kill just so he could write his own novel.

and because I really do believe dazai has a heart shrouded in all that darkness, dazai wants the best for odasaku, dazai wants to make it so odasaku can continue to survive and write his novel.

so dazai being dazai makes this extremely elaborate extra ass plan to make sure it happens.

dazai knows that this world has a chance of disappearing since every time something is written down in The Book in any other au (I think? I believe it can be any one of them not just the canon one) The Book doesn’t create it out of nothing exactly, but borrows from other worlds to create what is written in the book to reality.

dazai’s afraid that this world might cease to exist, and if it does odasaku won’t get to write his novel in this only universe he survives in, odasaku won’t he happy and dazai doesnt want that.

now extra ass osamu here uses a lot of cruel tactics to get to his end goal, and it isn’t right at all, but I still have to sympathize because its just so painful lmao

during akutagawa and atsushi’s final battle, dazai goes to the lupin bar where he meets odasaku for the first time in this world. I feel like dazai fought with himself a lot not to visit odasaku during this time, probably wanting to do nothing else but to run to his old friend that he missed so damn much. and I think he couldnt resist in the end, I think he desperately wanted to see him one last time because from the very beginning he knew his own fate.

one of the many (lol) things that hurts me during this meeting is how dazai immediately jumps happily into conversation with odasaku when he sees him, how he invites him quickly to sit down with him (in which odasaku does but doesn’t sit right next to him, which seemingly hurts dazai, ouch my heart) and how he picks up conversation that dazai would normally have with odasaku in the real world, asking him if anything interesting happened to him that day or telling him about new suicide methods he tried, which leaves odasaku heavily confused as he kind of awkwardly replies to each question.

now because the pov during this scene is in oda’s, we don’t get know exactly what dazai is thinking, but oda describes his posture and reactions well for us to take a guess of how hard it is for dazai to not have probably the most important person in his life not know or care about him.

dazai tightening his grip around his glass, or dazai looking like a happy child in one second to trying to compose his emotion with a small smile in the next, these reactions happen when odasaku keeps bringing up how he doesn’t know dazai and how confused he is. and dazai trying to hold onto something, someone, who made him so happy. trying to ignore the pain he feels and grasp on to the good memories he has but odasaku doesn’t.

and then there’s the part in the bar that asagiri decided to write because he’s a writer and like all authors, lowkey likes to see his audience suffer.

when dazai calls oda by his nickname odasaku once again trying to get him to understand him, the man replies:

“Don’t call me Odasaku. There is no reason of an enemy to call me that.”

yeah I cried

I cried a lot

dazai’s reaction didn’t help either.

The young man suddenly seemed to have trouble breathing…He fought against something invisible.

in this world, dazai probably mastered concealing his emotions (he does in like every world, but he’s much more grim in this one so) he put up this wall and put on a mask for everyone but odasaku, he let his wall down and odasaku didn’t acknowledge it, didn’t bring him some sort of comfort like he did in the canon universe. not intentionally of course, not because odasaku was cruel, but odasaku didn’t know dazai as anything else but his enemy. for all he knows, dazai could be trying to manipulate him.

theyre enemies. they could never be friends in this world. but dazai seems to still try, even a little.

in the end, they part ways. dazai putting on that mask once again, and acting like this whole meeting didn’t just destroy him. because it would be worth it in the end, odasaku would live, be happy, write his novel.

dazai would suffer, but that’s okay. odasaku hates dazai, but that’s okay.

because odasaku is alive. odasaku is happy. and to dazai that’s enough.

we get to the ending that no one wants to read because we’re already in pain and we know asagiri is waiting there with a shotgun to deliver the final blow.

dazai arrives after akutagawa and atsushi’s fight to reveal his reasoning behind his plan. how atsushi and aku have to work together protect The Book to make sure this world doesn’t disappear just for oda, and he mentions how no more then two people can know about the existence of The Book also for the protection and stability of their world.

atsushi decides to so some quick maths then, and realizes in horror that dazai has slowly made his way to the edge of the building.

he pleads with dazai to not do it, but theres obviously no stopping him.

and in that moment I believe for the first time in a long time dazai is truly content.

the hatred towards him is heavy, but it doesn’t matter to dazai because odasaku is safe. he completed his mission.

dazai planned all of this from the very beginning up to his death. now, arguably, despite dazai’s heartwarming end goal he was still an awful person. he was abusive and manipulate. he hurt and killed others to get what he wanted. he was not a good person

but he suffered so much for the sake of one person, he knew his ending wasn’t going to happy, but the end goal was enough. the end goal made it worth it.

osamu could never tell anyone about his pain, not even his best friend. he had to instead put on the mask of the cruel boss of the port mafia. people either had to hate him or fear him. no one could ever love him, no one could ever care for him. and osamu knew that. from the very beginning. asagiri truly wrote a tragic but beautiful character.

now if you’ll excuse me im going to go cry :)))

#i cried while writing this #im so sorry #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #bsd beast light novel #bsd beast #beast dazai #character analysis #oda sakunosuke #odasaku #bsd odasaku

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chuuyaaf · 4 years

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hiyaa!! can i request a hc of how dazai, chuuya and akutagawa date someone from the pm or ada? like how would chuuya and aku date someone from the ada and dazai from the pm? im sorry if it's too confusing, im just a sucker for concepts like this hahaha

I too am a sucker for Romeo and Juliet type stuff!! Honestly, I don’t think a relationship like this would work with Dazai but I’m a sucker for this so why not. -Zi

⚕Dazai⚕

Dating someone from the PM is hard for him.

The both of you make strict rules about keeping work away from your relationship, since talking about Mafia business makes Dazai uncomfortable and talking about ADA business feels odd to you.

He’ll try to convince you to leave anytime he can though.

If you’re worried about getting tracked down, he’ll try to offer a place with the ADA.

He left, why couldn’t you?

If he’s able to convince you to leave the Port Mafia, he’ll become more protective.

What if someone tries to kill you?? Or break into your home?? Or steal something?? The possibilities are endless!

You’ll have to reassure him.

After all, you were in the Port Mafia for years, you could handle yourself.

If convincing you doesn’t work, he still won’t stop.

He’ll try not to be too obvious.

“Kunikida invited me to your favorite bar, you know! It’s sure to be fun. Too bad you fight most of those people, they’re actually quite nice.”

You notice every time. Obviously.

The ADA would be worried.

He wouldn’t tell them you were in the Port Mafia.

They only know he’s got some Mystery Girlfriend who he can’t take anywhere for unknown reasons.

Of course, people have their theories, but the ADA would tell him to break up with you and he just couldn’t do that.

Not the most stable of relationships since the Port Mafia and ADA take up so much of your lives.

There are definitely fights whenever you have to fight his friends.

The relationship has its challenges, but the two of you are able to stick it out.

🌹Chuuya🌹

Oh boy.

Will attempt to get ADA information from you.

He won’t push very hard, more like trying to make you slip up.

“Hey, how was that new case?”

“Oh! It was fairly easy actually, the… Chuuya. Stop.”

He doesn’t push much further than that though.

You try the same trick occasionally, he falls for it much more often that you do.

“Some idiots tried to steal cargo from a warehouse. Had to go after them when they tried to run. I’m pretty sure they got blood on my coat too.”

It takes him a long time to realize he’s done it, but he doesn’t care too much.

He knows that if he was asked to betray you, he couldn’t. Even if the world depended on it.

He knows you feel the same way, so despite the fact that you’re an ADA member, he trusts you.

Will ask about Dazai occasionally. You try to provide him with stories about him.

“The idiot ate some kind of poisonous mushroom today. He stood on a desk talking about death for a good ten minutes.”

He likes knowing what chaotic bullshit Dazai gets up to (though he will NEVER admit that to anyone).

Honestly, it’s a surprisingly stable relationship.

There’s a shockingly domestic feel to it, occasionally complaining about work and friends and long, comfortable silences.

The ADA doesn’t know, though Dazai does.

Chuuya accidentally gave it away on one of their encounters.

Dazai won’t tell the group, but he will tease you about it.

“Oo! Does he ever ask about me?”

“Tell me, what’s he like in bed? How big?”

You get tired of it pretty quickly and after a while, you stop entertaining his dumb questions.

He still asks though.

Chuuya doesn’t mind dating someone on the ‘opposite team’.

In fact, he’s kind of entertained by it.

❌Akutagawa❌

Has a very hard time keeping work and your relationship separate.

Eventually you just accept that you’re going to know each other’s secrets.

There’s a silent agreement not to use it against each other.

You aren’t really sure what would happen if one of you did, and you had no intention of finding out.

Tries his best not to ask about Dazai and Atsushi.

He really does.

But sometimes he cracks.

You offer up some details (mostly ones to put his mind at ease).

Maybe stories about how Dazai messed up that week, or something weird Atsushi did.

It doesn’t calm him down much, but he’s a bit relieved that his former mentor isn’t perfect.

Sometimes mentions you casually to other Port Mafia members. Not those below him, obviously.

But he once mentioned a girlfriend to Higuchi and got a very loud reaction.

Mostly questions about you, which he does not answer.

The mafia knows you exist, nothing else.

He’s caught one of two people gossiping when they thought he wasn’t there.

“I’m just saying, but who would date someone like him? The bastard’s an emotionless lap dog, I mean really.”

That person got thrown across the room.

Sadly, he didn’t kill them but they did suffer several broken bones.

He doesn’t tell you about it.

He tries to keep you out of Mafia business. He’ll try to plan things on days that you’re off if he can, though it doesn’t work often.

Will go easy on you and tries to actively keep you out of any fights.

Will order people not to hurt you (to their immediate confusion).

Overall, it’s a functional relationship with him silently doing his best to protect you (in his own weird way).

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discotenny · 4 years

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Hi i was the Chuuya horse dick anon, glad it made you laugh 🥴 HAHA anw i saw that you said you usually watch the dubbed version? I tried looking up their voices and Aku’s was so surprising he doesn’t sound scary at all T-T

!yea i do watch the dub vers!

a few of the voices in my opinion seemed sorta weird, such as Kunikida’s[his voice is just really deep in the dub im sorry ;-;] and Chuuya’s [lmao someone on crunchyroll said he sounded like sonic and I can’t forget that] Akutagawa’s voice is also a little bit odd like you said, but i sort of grew to liking it haha

but i don’t think its bad tbh. its no ouran high school host club, the peak of all english dubs, but it certainly isn’t unwatchable for my taste. i especially enjoyed Fyodor’s voice in the dub lol, i think it fit really well with that absolute rat bastard. Dazai’s va also doesn’t do a bad job, especially when it comes to his playful moments. also Ranpo’s va is good i liked him a lot uwu

most of the voice actors that i really enjoyed were the foreigners lol. Mitchell and Lovecraft especially I enjoyed

i do like Atsushi’s va the best tho haha, but that may be because of my bias towards Max Mittelman [voice of Ryuji and King] 🥴🥺

Also lmao ‘Hi I was the Chuuya horse dick anon’ is probably the best way I’ve seen someone introduce themselves 😭😭😭

#asks are fun uwu #bsd #might post something soon idk its like 2 am rn

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akutagawaprotectionsquad · 7 years

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Hmmmmmm... I had a rather long weekend, so is it alright if I request some domestic!Aku headcanons? What does he do in his spare time, what's his routine like, that sort of thing? 🔅

aaa im sorry for the wait!! i was busy yesterday with editing a video together for one of my classes…. and also having to watch a re7 stream,,, it was Important to me okay. aNYWAY HERE’S SOME HEADCANONS FOR YOU~!

🌟 akutagawa doesn’t really have a routine. he barely takes care of himself, not to mention not really having a consistent work schedule bc yknow he’s a criminal. its not exactly a 9-5 job. i imagine that his days kind of blend together—he easily forgets to eat food for days (he’s used to it, starving is nothing to him now), and sometimes he just Doesn’t Sleep. he’s an incredibly self-destructive person.

🌟 that being said, the one thing he is consistent in is keeping clean. he’s used to being dirty and smelling bad, but he doesn’t like it. he also doesn’t like being away from his clothes for too long, so he’s a shower ninja. in and out in like .2 seconds and yet somehow completely clean.

🌟 Elitist Tea Drinker Akutagawa. he despises iced tea, thinks it’s an absolute sin. iced sweet tea is even worse. if you attempt to give him some he’d probably just dump the tea on your head. akutagawa only drinks Pure Natural tea brewed from leaves he probably spent like more than half his paycheck on. he also doesn’t like adding in anything to his tea since he think it taints it.

🌟 he likes reading, even though he doesn’t find much time to do it. and he needs lots of time to properly read. growing up in the slums doesn’t exactly lend itself to High Education, so his reading skills aren’t very much up to par. he’s not almost illiterate or anything, he’s just… kind of slow. has to take his time. it frustrates him, but as we all know he’s extremely stubborn and forces himself to get through it anyway. it gets easier over time, at least.

🌟 aside from the aforementioned reading, akutagawa doesn’t really do much in his spare time. the most he’ll do is run some errands or do some chores. he’s really busy most of the time anyways.

#asks #mod aku #headcanons #aaaa im sorry for the late reply!!#i really would've answered yesterday but ajsdla #mod ryuu can attest to the fact that i get genuinely upset if i miss the streams of the person who was streaming yesterday #so yeah...#i really hope you enjoy these though!!#its not much but i tried my best ^^#tsureh

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franeridart · 6 years

Note

Jack says "ignored YOUR rule". Does that mean it's something Bakugou obligates himself not to have or something non of them can have? I'm actually curious 🤔

It’s actually a rule Bakugou put down for himself for a number of reasons, half related to his own safety and the safety of the person he’s dating, the other half to the fact that Bakugou hates lying, but (again for safety reasons) he can’t just go around telling everyone what he’s doing - he doesn’t want a relationship in which he’d just contantly lie to his partner and ditch them for vigilante work without being able to explain them what’s going on, so he put down the rule as soon as he decided he wanted to do this. Well, he hadn’t been interested in relationships anyway before Kirishima, so it was an easy decision to take at the time - now though...

Ahhhh if only he figured out Kiri and Red are the same person smh that’d make everything so much easier on him

Anon said:When you draw Jiro and Bakugo having platonic hugs and cuddles my bi heart becomes incredibly soft THANK YOUUUUUUU

I’M HAPPY TO HEAR THAT cause honestly that’s as self-indulgent as I go hahaha

Anon said:The vigilante au is so far sad but I could totally see it going in a miraculous ladybug kinda direction. What if they tried putting distance between themselves and suddenly found that they're falling again, for the vigilante forms this time because "oh sh*t he's cute in every way Kirishima is" and "He's just my type too, Bakugou-- *sigh* I could use some moving on from him." Or only Kirishima moves to vigilante!Baku but he remains stuck on kiri..//Or what if like, vigilante! Kiribaku are about to get caught by a hero and Kirishima opens up about his last regret of not getting to see his crush one last time after they set distance between themselves, while Bakugou listens and...

That’s!!!! a lot of ideas you got there hahaha I’m glad you’re having fun with the concept!!!!!!

Anon said:That vigilante au is amazing. You really express emotions well in comics.

AAAAAHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH that!!!! honestly means the world to me *sob*

Anon said:I just want to say you're really cool and I like you art uh- K bye

Thank!!!!!!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Oh damn. I think i fall in love for your Vigilantes AU. Please don't stop. I really love it❤️

I mean, as long as you guys are okay with it being a bit all over the place and also being just pencil doodles, then I got no problems doing that right now haha thank you for liking it!!

Anon said:I love your vigilantes AU so much 😍😍😍😍

THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:LET THEM BE HAPPY !!!!

THAT’S THE PLAN!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:May I ask how you draw bakugous hair so well?? I just can’t seem to get the right amount of poof (or should I say BOOM💥 )

oHO I’m glad you like it cause actually the answer is I spent two years drawing it nearly daily and I finally sorta reached a place when I guess I’m okay with how I draw it lol some time ago I drew a step by step for it? but by now my process is mostly “do whatever and hope for the best”, which incidently is also my process in drawing Kirishima’s hair lmao

Anon said:Im a bit confused with the vigilante kiri, does he have black hair in his civilian form and red in his hero form?

YEH it’s one of the reasons why Bakugou still hasn’t figured out Red is Kiri haha thought if you’re asking for the logistics of that, I can’t say I spent too long thinking about it? We can always call it temporary hair dye spry or something like that, but to be fair it’s not like it matters all that much lmao I just needed Baku to be unable to tell it was him easily haha

Anon said:I love ur gem Au! :D are you gonna make more? Its okay if not :)

As I’ve said literally every single time I’ve answered asks since I posted it, MAYBE yes! The thing about that AU is that I love it and I have fun with it, but posting it ended up being the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, so honestly I don’t know when I’m gonna draw it if I’ll draw it, but the possibility is there

Anon said:Hello! I just wanted to say I have love reading your comics and your art is amazing-- but I especially love your vigilantes AU! Thank you so much for sharing it with us!!!

HECK thank you!!!! I’m so happy you’re enjoying it ;O;

Anon said:Why must you hurt us? I started crying at that vigilante au comic..

*passes u a blanket* I’ll try not to make it as sad in the future!

Anon said:Hi! I've purchased the take my hand book about a month ago, just wondering how long it takes for it to be delivered??? BTW I live in NZ so I understand if it takes a while~

Heck sorry anon but I’m so not good with dates, you should check the @takemyhandzine blog for that sorta stuff! Thank you so much for buying it tho!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Is Nico a cinnamon roll or a sinnamon roll?

That......... depends a lot on who you ask :0

Anon said:I love bnha more and more with every new character out. All that's left is to ask, which minor character is currently your favorite? (***That isn't from UA because that is a much bigger dilemma)

oUCH it would have been easier picking from UA actually since I’m pretty sure Amajiki is it hahaha well, if I can’t pick from UA...................... you know what, probably Shishikura

Anon said:Bakujiro friendship is something I didn’t know I NEEDED. U do good work bro

I’M SO GLAD YOU CAN GET BEHIND THAT!!!!!

Anon said:Your art gives me life!!! Every time you post is just so unique in every way :00000 ❤️ anyway i just wanted to let you know that you’re inspiring in every way and that I absolutely adore your kiribaku art to the moon and back!!!

SOB thank you so much???? You’re so sweet!!!! ;O;

Anon said:FRAN!!! YOUR LATEST KIRIBAKU ART KILLED ME (in a good way) HONESTLY YOU IMPROVED SO MUCH SINCE I FIRST STARTED FOLLOWING YOU, IT MOTIVATES ME TO KEEP DRAWING!! THANK YOU

HELL ANON THANK YOU SO MUCH I’M SO GLAD MY FUMBLING AROUND IN THE ART WORLD IS INSPIRING FOR YOU ???? LET’S BOTH KEEP DOING OUR BEST!!!!!

Anon said:fran you could convince me to ship anything with one (1) drawing

Since I got this ask I’ve been trying to find the most outrageous ship just to draw it and test this theory.......... I still haven’t found something outrageous enough but.... soon

Anon said:Hi your art is amazing also beautiful As you probably might know there is a traitor in the show, if you didn't know well then im sorry for spoiling. May I request a traitor kirishima

nnnnnnnggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry anon but the traitor theory arts are stuff I just can’t get behind, mostly so if it’s my fav characters - I don’t find it credible and I don’t find any joy in dwelling in the idea, so I got zero motivation to draw for it orz

Anon said:I can't believe you made me read the phrase "startle and explosion out of baku". (Yay for the vigilantes AU!)

LMAO he’s actually trying to do just that tho, maybe I’ll draw it hahaha

Anon said:Please! I need more BakuKiriKami fan art! I’m gunna die without it!

Anon I’m gonna be very real with you here my first reaction to reading this ask was thinking “then perish”

Anon said:Hello! I don't know if you've gotten this question before but have you ever considered drawing the villains?

I’ve drawn Dabi and Twice in the past! I’m not really much intereste in any other villain atm tho so I doubt I’m gonna be drawing them any time soon ^^’’

Anon said:You are by far my favorite artist. Your Kiribaku gives life to my bleak exsistence. Thank you. I bought some of your things of redbubble to make me happy!

AHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Hello! I'm a big fan of your work and your kiribaku fluff especially, and I've been working on a (not so innocent) fic about Bakugou having burnt marshmallow smelling and tasting sweat, (funny how nitroglycerin is a natural lubricant, tastes and smells like burnt sugar, and is explosive) just wanted to know if you ever thought about it? also wanted to know if you'd like to read my finished fic, should be done real soon and it would mean a lot to know what you think about it!

Anon I’m so sorry but I really can’t say yes to this - especially because you said it means a lot to you, you’re putting me in a spot here where in case I didn’t like it I wouldn’t be able to tell you so anyway (and I generally don’t like talking about fancontent I don’t give a 10/10 to anyway, it’s too rude for me) and I’m sure it’s gonna be a great fic! But by the way you talked about it it’s gonna be a nsfw fic and I really rarely like those fics, so !!! orz I’m sorry, but this is a really uncomfortable request for me ;;;

Anon said:Can I use your art real quick if I hard out credit u? It's alright if I can't

Nope, sorry

Anon said:Could you draw another doodle of Setsuna?. I love how you draw her jfvdkd ;;v;; (Sorry if my English is trash.)

Not right now, but in the future yeah sure, I love her!

Anon said:Your Kirishima is so beautiful i fucking cry omg ;-; thank you for brightening my morning.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; thank you for liking how I draw him !!!!

Anon said:💛💛💛💛 Thank you for sharing your art, it always makes my day

Thank YOU for liking it!!!!!

Anon said:In your SU AU what if a gem offers to replace Kiri with a 'newer, better pearl'? How would Bakugo react?

Actually, Kiri was given to Bakugou specifically because he’s sorta defective, it was punishment for both of them that sorta backfired lmao

Anon said:hi there! I'm new to your blog and I love your art style immensely! I saw somewhere with your latest seroroki post that you're still finding your main todoship; I hope I dont sound rude or pushy, but can I ask your opinions about todo*aku and/or tod*kir*baku? If not, thank you for your time! Keep up the great work!!

Still not completely sold on romantic tdbk tbh (platonic tho, that’s my jam) but I’ve been real into the ot3 lately!!! It just can’t be my main todo ship bc I still prefer krbk too much over it haha

Anon said:I loveeee your art, especially your kiribaku stuff! But consider! Size difference! What if Kirishima grows a lot but our lil' Baku doesn't? Does he get jealous or does he really like it? There'd be some epic hugs/kisses! What if he secretly loves getting picked up by Kirishima? XD

Oh that’s an hc I see around a lot! Personally I stil prefer them sorta the same size tho ???? with the only difference being Baku being lithe and Kiri being a tank, I think it has to do with the whole “complementary equals” theme they have going on, I like for it to be visually represented too ??? maybe, I had never really thought about the hows or whys of this preference tbh lmao

Anon said:Hey so I'm not up to date with BNHA but in your asks there was a thing about dragon boy having a zombie costume? I had another look at what I think is the right doodle and to me it looks like a Chinese vampire costume! (unless that's not the one you guys were talking about oops)

Nope that’s him, and you’re right!!! Either way my boy still hasn’t done anything worth of note, so I still don’t know why he’s dressed like that orz Hori plssss

#fran answers #i have a couple asks in my inbox i have willingly left there to be answered when i have more time #so if your ask isnt in here chances are that's why #PLS bear with me!#one of them specifically is asking for a reference sheet #gimme time i'll get to it i swear!!!!#anonymous

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morishiges · 6 years

Text

alright let’s talk shitty endings and writing, TKG edition

spoilers for tokyo ghoul:re manga ending, aku no hana manga ending, and such. SORRY MOBILE USERS.

these are all copypasta from my twitter so.

ok im kinda mad tokyo ghoul was a seinen horror manga that had the exact same ending any stupid generic shounen manga does everyone married with kids offences: bleach, naruto, fuckin INUYASHA, AND THEN AKU NO HANA DID THAT SAME SHIT IT'S ALSO SEINEN WHAT THE HELL

i hate that trope so much "how do i end this series... oh! marriage and babies!" fuck off i wanted kaneki to die tbh

aku no hana could've ended right as nakamura and fuckboy set themselves on fire during the festival and jumped into the flames noo it had to skip some years, have fuckboy in hs with a new crush, meet nakamura and shes all "i dont remember" shit married and kids now ugh

juuzou got his happy ending but i was robbed of ghoul!juuzou we were all robbed

the worst thing ishida did to me, as a writer, is havin juuzou's leg chopped off again in the final battle. his fucking prothestic leg. that's INSULTING to do. you took a heart breaking scene from the original then did it again but with NO STAKES TO IT. WORST WRITING.

that will always annoy me, what was the point? in the original, he loses his leg but can't feel the pain, but then shinohara gets "killed" trying to protect him, and juuzou tried to kill the owl for shinohara who shed tears for him whyyyy do that scene again excpt with no stakes we already know he can't feel pain he didn't gain anything from it or lose anything either, it was the same fuckin leg it was FAKE WHY DID U DO THAT. WHY. THAT'S NOT HOW A PARALLEL WORKS IN WRITING

and juuzou never learned it was touka leaving the flowers at shinohara's bedside as forgiveness for killing her father i thought it would come up during their fight together and it never did gggggggggggggggh

i dont ship tsukiyama and kaneki, but damn, they had more chemistry than touken does they had no hints whatsoever they "loved" each other until they fucked she got knocked up, then marriage it still felt forced like. she never apologized for abusing him. tsukiyama did.

also ngl tbh that sex scene was actually kind of a realistic portrayal of how the first time is cant unhook bra, touka getting her shirt stuck over her head dfjgfdgmdf, her expressions were pretty funny too but why those two anyway? how weird.

anyways mutsuki and juuzou are best characters and i wish mutsuki was handled a Little better, also he is indeed fully male identified like. he's completely transitioned (i checked all JPN raws his pronouns varied depending on his state of mind but hes always been male)

im also glad mutsuki didn't end up with urie (even tho ngl i liked them together.....) because it was one-sided and mutsuki just don't want that idk anyways i love him and juuzou and they are the best and HIDE IS HONOURABLE MENTION BECAUSE HIDEKANE IS GOOD!

#this has been a post

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tengkudindaheldy · 2 years

Text

Minggu, 5.12.21 / 22:20

Is it too much to ask for?

well, seems it is..

apa aku belum cukup baik? atau apa aku belum cukup mampu buat ngegantiin masa lalu nya?

it's pretty confusing to me, i even feel like giving up on my marriage but somehow i don't want to.

it's been almost 3 years, almost 3 years of trying to get rid of the thought of you felt happier with your past than when you are with me.

yeah, i know im out of your league.. im not that kind of girl you're dreaming of having..

i hope you know that i tried, i tried my very best everyday to make you at ease and comfy being around me.

i know im not pretty, not like your past of course 😌 she's like a complete packages compare to me yang soooo far from you expectations (im sorry tou)

setiap hari im fighting a battle inside me yang you know nothing about, i gotta fight alone karna obviously you dont take my insecurities seriously hehe but im fine with that.. im used to be by my own so why do i need you know, right? i'll stay to this until God knows when, until i have nothing to fight anymore..

duh, aku beneran ga tau harus ngapain lagi..

a simple favor from a wife to her husband..

apa banget sih istri cuma ngajakin foto doang? 😅 emang salah ya seorang istri mau foto berdua ama suami nya? 😌 salah banget karna aku ga cantik kayak mantan nya? hehe se bikin malu itu kah muka ku sampe suami sendiri ga mau selfie hahaha aku sedih tapi aku bisa apa..

i guess im stuck with someone who does not accept me for who i am..

im soooo sad right now but i still have to play along.

O Allah, tapi sampe kapan?

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side-bridedchica · 6 years

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and to mubin (even kau inda baca text ani i hope kau ada rasa that im talking to you here)

ive made this decision.. tonight.. that we are no good to be together anymore.im sorry sebab sudah susahkan hidupmu. Tambahkan burden mu. aku inda mau erasa terkongkong dari aku. aku tau you still want to be with bcs of kluarga, kawan, its a shame if tani putus cos were too close. weve talked abt how are we gonna go through all the hurdles in life. weve talk abt us getting a happy family. and guess that isnt enough to hold us together. stronger. to you aku terlalu. to me its all just gonna be fine if only you know how to convince. yakinkan aku. that you love me. nada lagi orang selain aku. nada lagi bini2 lain selalin aku. but you cant. you cant even do it. :’)

aku cemani bcs i got a reason why. i had this insane habit pun bcs of my past which im sure you know what had happened. apa yang buat aku mudah sangsi. mudah inda pecaya. you know my past, mubin... tapi kenapa susah untukmu fahami.

kau minta aku untuk fahami kau. how am i supposed to understand you when you cant even understand me?

memang you did alot of efforts. And effort yang aku buat inda banyak sebanding kau but atleast i tried sudah. ive tried my best to make some efforts for you. all the good things dengan usahaku menurunkan ego, its just nothing to you. kau mau aku berubah but berubah ku doesnt seemed to be appreciated. you really want me to cahnge but are you really wanted to change as what i have asked you before?

idk.. our rs is seem to be worthless and useless.. all the curse words you gave me. all the anak haram you always said. it hurts my fucking soul. do you think aku mau hidup cemani? dilahirkan cemani? do you think i can? :’) aku inda minta dilahirkan dengan keadaan cemani. aku inda minta dilahirkan dengan keadaan yang hina. aku tahan malu. bcs i know atu kekuranganku. atu aib ku. why do you always drag and judge abt it:

and you asked why aku cemani. why aku inda ok lately ani. you said aku ada mental problem. but you wasnt even there to help. yang ada cuma cakap without action. aku cuma minta keyakinan from you. but you said im over sensitive and negative.

guess thats the end of our story mubin. i cant bear it anymore. i cant. im sorry.

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nrashknz · 4 years

Text

2019

back here again and i feel like letting it out here cause maybe atleast i feel abit ease when i let it out here? so here it goes, bismillah. 19 yrs living, never have i ever experience this. last yr, i’ve lost my very own bestfriend. 8 yrs growing up in the same sport, a sport that we both have so much passion in it, also a sport that we went through hardships tgt and much more. all those mixed emotions started when i received a text in the morning from irbah before going out to watch her psk’19 final match against kak wani. “farz dah meninggal, astaghfirullah 😭” — i cldnt react to it bcs nope, how cld it be her? out of all person. not even a tears drop until farhanah, arwah farz’s sister dm-ed me and told me abt it then i started to believe. alot of my silat friends started to dm me, asking for a confirmation and also told me to stay strong. i was standing while reading all the dms, then i started to shed tears and sit back on my bed. only god knows how i felt the moment i sit back. i frozed. so much questions were on my mind and i cld even imagine how it happen. i cldnt miss irbah’s fight, i still decided to come and watch. wtv happened, i will always be there for her even up till now. i will try. not gonna lie, thruout the journey from north to east, i cldnt even stop thinking abt it. tried holding my tears. the moment i entered the hall, asrul was the first person who saw me and told me to stay strong and thats when i shed tears back but i managed to control. Saw Irbah and i went to her, sat beside her and had a short convo. Told her this — “aku tk percaya dia dh tkde.” and she replied the same too. it was too devastating. we cldnt even react to anything and all i did was laying on her shoulders. Watched her match and it was supposingly her win but stupid and bloody bias juris just had to lose her game. a week before arwah farz’s passing, she just lost her dad in the morning when she was on a overseas comp and its that morning itself she have a match. she returned home on that morning itself. i cldnt even imagine being in her shoes and a week later, farz’s passing. she wanted that win for her dad and for farz too but that’s just disappointing cause it was rlly her win. cldnt be with her aft her match cause her sisters went out with her aft her match and she told me that she let everything out to her sisters. i cldnt miss kak azza’s match bcs i promised her that i wld come down and watch. i wanted to be there for her all the time but i only managed to watch from round 2 till the last round. even when im watching, my mind cldnt stop thinking abt it even for awhile. To kak azza, sorry if i cldnt be myself on that day. i cldnt even speak so much. Cik Min, my team manager, tapped my back when i was watching kak azza’s match and hugged me tightly. i rlly dont want to shed so much tears on that day but those ppl that approached me and told me to stay strong is just....😔 then ariqah tapped me again when i was watching one of the matches. Saw her smiling, with tears rolling down, trying her best not to pull her sad face and i didnt say a word, hugged her and shed tears back. Cried so much on that day and its during a competition period even if i didnt compete. the pain, the sadness, everything in one, i cldnt believe i went through all that. i used to wonder how does it feels like losing my own bestfriend but i’ve never thought that the phase wld be this painful and hard for me. how wld it possible for me to lose someone who i wanted to keep forever? someone who wld create a rainbow after a storm? you’re a heartwarming and a cheerful girl. no one shld ever hurt you. you deserve all the happiness in this world. you rlly have the most sweetest smile and the most cutest laugh ever. its sad to say that i wldnt be able to see all of that. whats even more worst? your presence, i wldnt be able to see you anymore and it breaks my heart. i wldnt be able to see you standing outside of the arena cheering for me, shouting — “tojang kau mana!” “shikin keras lagi oi!!” “baik mcm gitu!!” & also seeing you all hype up to watch my fights —

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shafiqahbay-blog · 4 years

Text

Another failure but its ok. I dont regret

So in 2018, I was in a relationship with S. Someone that I thought I would marry with. I was so happy and so in love. I finally found the love of my life. We started dating on Nov,2017. Everything went well until June,2018. He wanted to break up with because he said he wanted to focus on himself. I didnt believe it. I was in denial. I asked him to stay and told him that I would change. He refused. He mentioned that he had a bad experienced with his long term ex. I asked him whether he still loves her or not. He said he was not sure. I asked him to get back to her if he loves her and surprisingly he said SHE WONT WANTS ME BACK IF I ASK HER! My heart broke into a million pieces. I couldnt believe it that he said that. So yeah we broke up. It was hard for me to move on. We still kept in touch after that. But everytime we tried to talk to each other, we ended up arguing. He wanted to be friends only but I didnt want. So he suggested that we should stop talking to each other.

A week passed by, he messaged me and asked “how are you? its ok if u dont want to reply”. Well, i loved him so much. Of coz i replied to his text. We talked again. I brought up again the topic of us back together. He said no. So hell yeah, we stop talking again. It became a pattern. Every week the same thing happened. To the point, i fed up. I didnt reply to his text. He messaged me for straight 3 days and said “ You really dont want to talk to me anymore”. Of coz, me being stupid. I replied. Hahahaha. For 3 months, we kept doing this to each others. Both of us were being toxic. I blamed myself also. Its not 100% his fault.

3 months passed by, I asked him again that we should be back again. Yeah it was me again that asked him. You can see that I was so desperate. He agreed. Yeah finally!!!!!!! But things didn’t work out well. He was still confused after that. Sometimes, he loved me sometimes he didn’t. I was so heartbroken. I felt like I forced him to love him. Months passed by, I started to feel fed up. I thought maybe we should just stay friends. When I was about to change my mind, he started to love me again. He changed. I could see he really tried his best to love me.

Both of us were madly in love. I asked him “ You removed me from your instagram. Can we follow each other back?” and he said “ No. Please I want to have a healthy relationship. We shouldn’t follow each other”. I was okay with that. Maybe he was right. Months passed by I asked him to introduce me to his friends and family because no one knew about us. He said he wanted to keep it private. He said I will introduce you to them when we are about to get married but not now. I agreed with that.

I was less busy in 2019, because I quit my previous job and stated to do freelance. We met very frequent. At least once a week. I fell in love with him even more. After we back together, everything was different. I was so madly in love with him and I never want to lose him anymore.

All that didn’t last long. Both of us started to drift apart due to our jobs. I told him that I wont be able to meet him for at least a month. He was okay with that and asked me to focus on work. As he wanted to focus on his job as well.

Even tho we were busy, we still messaged each other everyday. I missed him every single day. My love for him was even stronger. I couldn’t wait to finish my project. I counted every single day. A week before I flew to Shanghai was when he started to change. He didnt message me much. I know he was busy. I tried to understand him.

So I went to Shanghai to finish off my project. The 2nd day I was there, he texted me and said he wanted to break up. I was in front of the pc and tried to be cool. I was speechless but I tried not to cry because I didnt want to cry in front of everyone. After I finished my job, I went back to my room. I cried in the toilet. I told him if this is what he wants then I respect his decision.

2 days later, he messaged me and asked me “ Are u ok?” . I didn’t reply because I was still in Shanghai. After spent 4days 3 nights in Shanghai, I finally went back home. I was so tired. I rested for 2 days. I finally replied to his text. I told him about how I felt. He said he was sorry but he said he didnt love me as much as before. But he told me “ I sayang you sangat” . Eh babi btl, confused kan aku lagi.

So we agreed not to talk to each other until I am ok. Hmmm.. Guess what? within 1 month after we broke up, he got himself a new girlfriend. Hahahahaha..Babi kan? How did I know? oh well. I am good at stalking people. I just googled his name in twitter and it popped out. His twitter is private but his friends are not. So kantoi lah and also he changed his twitter DP to the photo of him and his gf. Ah tu lagi aku sakit hati. Dengan aku dulu, sorang pon dia x nak bg tahu. Semua orang ingat dia single. Bagi alasan then aku bodoh percaya.

So yeah I dont know when they are together. It could be when he was with me or after. Tapi confirm dia announced kan kat semua orang. Siap tukar dp bagai.

2 months later, I messaged him and asked him. He said yes he has someone else. And he said ‘Im sorry’. fuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh rasa macam being used and betrayed.

For now, I just wish to forget and forgive him. I just want to move on. Thats all I want. I know I can do it! Fuh what a loooooooooong story. Fiqa, I know you can do it!

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ccjongin-blog · 7 years

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it’s me again!!!! fifi aka @ccseongwoo‘s mun!! i was focusing on seongwoo stuff yesterday so i didn’t have the chance to log into jongin but here i am now!! long story short i really wanted to do jongin things but then THE INTERNET CRASHED ISLAND-WIDE so i was left... wifi-less... im sorry....

but yea!! jongin is an old muse from the first round of cc but he’s changed quite a fair bit now! i’d love to plot with everyone for jongin though, first timeline - second timeline, anything really!! so feel free to hmu on ims or to follow me on twitter @fightjihoon and we can dm and stuff there!!

i still have ims to get to on seongwoo so i’ll be working on those asap as well!! here’s jongin’s about and here’s his profile if you’d like to read up on him!!

–– and underneath this cut is some info abt jongin bc rly... my bio for this kid was like 2k words and i dont want to put anyone under the torture of READING THAT

jongin is a hero and he’s currently 21 years old studying in uni

he remembers the first timeline so he KNOWS... THAT SHIT WENT DOWN...

( tw: alcohol / gambling addiction )

his family isnt the best. his dad was addicted to gambling and got the family in debt a lot. he’d end up running away whenever the debt accumulated too much and the debt collectors would visit jongin’s home

they’d beat up his brother and jongin had to witness everything

his dad always came back saying “im better now” but would end up putting the family in more debt because of his gambling

how he became a hero: his brother (who was also a magical boy at that time) turned into a familiar tried to kill their dad for being negligent and just a pos in general. jongin was freaking out and that’s when aku appeared and told him that to save his family he’d have to become a hero and kill that monster –– later on he found out that that was his brother

basically unwillingly became a hero and then killed his brother

in the first timeline: he was kind, would always try to help others even it meant putting his own life in danger.

too trusting and believed too much in the good in people (and cards)

in the first timeline he was in love with a card that betrayed him and then later on had to kill his best friend who the league thought kick-started the apocalypse... yay

fast forward to the second timeline and jongin is trying to be “harder”

he felt that his kindness was his weakness in the first timeline so in this timeline he’s more detached

less trusting too and his faith in “human kindness” is fading away

he’s still... a nice guy though....

also thinks that the only way to stop the apocalypse again is to kill Certain People that go against the league

MESS

#!outofc #( its MEEE AGAIN

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ohwhydanny · 5 years

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any changes?

so far, ntah lah.

2018 daniel graduated in oct i think. guess what? aku tak boleh pergi, dia x bagi. pastu i dont have one picture with him pki jubah konvo. yes. siapa aku? gf? hahaaahahahaah at that time i am shit. 2 weeks dia dapat pegang jubah, not even sekejap pun aku dpt masa dgn dia. after a week lepas dia dah abis konvo n pulang jubah, i still couldnt properly sleep, eat like a pig.. so i wanted to tell him how i feel. and dia ckp aku x fhm sbb aku ungkit..dia tnya aku dah ready ke time tu nk jmpa parents dia? mmm okay.. look down on me kan... fine.. pastu dia kata sorry xde mood nak gaduh dengan syg weekend mcm ni. aku mcm haaaa..... aku xnk gaduh pun. aku just nk bgtau apa aku rasa. aku nak dia pujuk aku.. but yas, dats what i got. lepas dia text mcm tu, aku nanges sedu sedan abis. sakit dada aku wey. sampai skang klu teringat, sakit dada. mcm skang. it hurts. the best part is , we never talked abt it. and another best part, dia post insta story konvo dia demokrat x family. wow. hurts like crazy. mcm mana aku? well nisa, u dun contribute anything positif pun masa dia study. kau just the negative vibes yg dia x nak igt pon. so go die.

apa lagi ek jd last year? mmm bday dia, makan seafood, pastu time anniversary dia eksiden so x sambut. birthday aku pergi mall mkn kyochon opkoz dinner je hahha. pastu ntah la. x igt sgt. yg pasti aku xde dah share pasal aku rasa depress all that shit. just keep it all inside. and just cried it out alone. easy peasy.

oh i met his parents in dec. they were ok with me. everythings ok.

2019. bday dia aku masuk emergency sbb suspek vasculitis. pastu dia dtg n spend the whole day. ptg dia balik opis. anniversary pergi tasik putrajaya main kayak. he said dia lgi suka pergi tmpat mcm ni dr mall. okayyyy. hint taken. sbb bfore i dont remember when. aku ajak tgk wyg cite one two jaga. n excited kan g mall, aku dress up la beli baju bru sluar baru, pki heels, makeup.. tp kasut cabut and dia belikan fipper but kaki aku melecet sbb jln laju. dia x heran pun kaki aku. dia still paksa aku ikut dia, tman dia hisap rokok bagai. padahal kaki aku dah melecet gila. wow. pastu dlm keta, i tried to show him, how bad my foot hurts, but yeah he said sorry, but kita tau lah bila dia meant it or not. he doesnt care pun. pastu bila kat tasik dia ckp mcm tu aku fhm la. so x yah ngada2 nk ajak g mall ke apa. dia pun g mall dgn kwn2 dia je. shopping pun x ajak aku dah. its fine. so yeah. no more asking him to go to the mall or even wyg. avengers end game dia da tgk dgn opismate dia. and dia text aku 5am masa dia nak balik. jom tgk avengers dgn abg. wow im super excited but still mcm sceptical sket. and yaaa... dah nak puasa dah. harini pun cuti labor day. but nope, dia xde dah mention pasal avengers tu. aku try bg hint but ye la, if he doesnt want to, what for nisa? xtau malu ek?

bday aku dia bawa dinner dekat hotel. tu best sbb dia mcm pandang aku je.. and x abs2 ckp cantik. but in the back of my head, i feel disappointed. sbb ye la, he only likes that version of me. ye la, version lain x berseri. hohoho.

mmm n now aku rasa makin teruk. almost every night terganggu tp aku x leh nk cite kt sape2. sbb benda ni benda bodoh. its like aku yg create masalah ni. so. ntah lah. penat nk nanges. rasa nk makan. takyah pikir pasal sedeh. bosan, penat. aku pretend je dekat daniel, aku ok. aku x tacing, aku x meminta masa dari dia, if he texts, i replied as soon as i can.. if he calls, i picked it up as soon as i can.. if he want to meet, i free my time for him.. but what if, if i wanted to? i cant do that, can i? i cant be asking him to do the same.. i believe dia yg kena ada rasa tu sendri. no point if i ask him to. cuz then its not genuine anymore. so i just accepted everything. sometimes rasa nak lari. go far away, n never come back. let him start new. meet somebody as great or greater than him. someone yg understand him more, and can love him more... and care for him more. someone independent, beautiful in his eyes, someone yg berseri always.. even without makeup. someone yg enjoy benda yg daniel enjoy, yg fhm and boleh blend in dgn social life daniel. things i cant but she can...

if i can turn back time, i wouldnt like his comment on fb. my only wish.. pls come true. i want him to be happy.

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