#im trying not to cry about that tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mrs-mikko-rantanen · 2 years

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I dont think I'll actually be able to play hockey this year.

#im trying not to cry about that tbh #like #yeah #obviously i should learn to skate first #and yeah #obviously i should take hockey lessons first #i just #i wanna play hockey NOW #its #idk #i just see so many people who seem like theyre good at something with zero effort right off the bat #and ive never been good at anything right off the bat #and so like #eventually #im bound to be good at something right off the bat right?#i mean lets face it probably not im just built to struggle ✌#i wanna play hockey so so so so so so so so so so so bad #i just want something to go my way fir once this fucking year #and i think part of it is the really sad truth of im in such a bad place mentally that future planning seems so pointless

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thats-a-lot-of-cortisol · 4 months

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Maybe a doodle of Alfira from bg3? I just think she's neat and I've hardly seen any art of her

You're so right?? I didn't realize it until you said it but yeah. For such a well-loved NPC art about her doesn't float around all that often

I wanted to draw her singing but I can't stop thinking about how intensely upbeat she has to stay for the kids. The poor woman has to be at her breaking point

#i also got an idea for a full alfira drawing (also sad though)#so thank you for that! /gen #i started thinking about her while I was drawing and now i have Feelings about her #we almost always see her (at least trying to be) upbeat #the only times i remember seeing her upset are 1) when you meet her at the grove and 2) when you talk to her about the hostage tieflings #she needs a hug & a hot drink & a good cry & space to just. not have to put on a brave face #and she's so YOUNG too?!?#like. there's no way she's past 30 right? a good chunk of the tiefling adults are pretty young tbh #unless im just really bad at figuring out ages #alfira bg3 #bg3 #bg3 fanart #baldurs gate 3 #my art #art request #sketch

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marzipanladyart · 23 days

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Emotional about first days of Lauren living with Erwan, I need a moment.

#Lauren being miserable cause he was beaten up and his violin has been destroyed #Erwan doing everything he can to make him feel better and not to worry about money or anything and trying to be funny and cheer Lo up #Lauren being very polite and unsure about everything but Erwan trying to make him feel like home #Lauren wanting to go cause he doesnt want to cause more problems or to bother Erwan and the old man panicking cause he is afraid that #if Lauren goes out now he is gonna run away from the city and Erwan will never see this beautiful boy again #before that the were meeting a few times a week cause Lauren was playing on the street and they would hang out together #and they became friends and Erwan was the first person Lauren trusted and tbh he is the only one he knows in Paris #or his entire life tbh Lo has no one #so Lo is complicated cause he feels safe with Erwan but also it's just too much for Erwan to handle and yeah they are friends but also they #knew each other for a little over a month #but he wants to be safe and have a home and change his life for better.....#brb im crying

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cryiling · 1 year

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would u draw prince link x retainer revali from that one royalty au i proposed 😊

(in reference to this post)

im ngl yall this au has been living in my mind RENT FREE like i will absolutely eat up any and all royalty aus 😁

🙏 so here's a doodle spread for that au

closeups:

the coloring on everything is Ugly but it's okay because i tried 🙁👍

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todayisafridaynight · 7 months

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So what's one of your favorite Tsutsumi fits 😉

random as hell question to be askin 🤨 so mysterious...

but since you did ask probably this one <3 from the second episode of pure <3

#snap chats #i love his scarves and turtlenecks in this too- i love a lot of toru's outfits tbh. i just think he's cute in general </3 #highkey its prob one of my faves cause this is also my favorite sequence of scenes #he and yuka are just esp cute it makes me giggle #their autism4autism love is my favorite..... fr this sequence is so cute like CAN I. RAMBLE about it real quick #cause it's a scene where yuka invites toru home but there's a sign left by her mom on the door that says not to let strangers in #and With His Eyes toru reads it like 'is it ok if im here ??' and yuka just 🥺 'youre my friend and a nice person so its ok :)'#and then he just gives her The Stare™️ yk the one and i cry. AND THE SCENE AFTER WHEN SHE'S TRYING TO MAKE COFFEE--#guys this is my favorite episode for a reason idc pure still has a chokehold on me 😭😭😭 theyre so cute..#back to the outfit tho its also just. VERY city-goer to me idk what it is. prob all the denim. prob cause its somethin my dad would wear--#im usually denim's number-one hater but if ttm's wearing it it's ok #OH ALSO update on OMC2: ttm IS in it TECHNICALLY but it's just a quick flashback segment #it's. it's a flashback to the ending scene ☠️#even in a movie he's not technically in he's still shirtless girl i cant #and yet he was never shirtless in THIS show... lol....#anyway yeah it this one <3 def had plans of stealing it since the store i usually shop at's having a sale and they're sellin a similar shir #that'll have to be plans for christmas i think....

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wizard0rbs · 2 months

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well the last group sure did happen

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undefeatablesin · 11 days

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In other news, I finally acquired my Platinum trophy for LoP today and I feel deeply accomplished lmao ✨

#sin speaking #(i normally never bother with plats and stuff because im just not that hardcore about it but i only had 2 achievements left so....y not)#(bravo to this game man i rly didnt know how i felt about it at first but well. several playthrus later i sure do now LMAO)#(and that is i love it as much as i do bb tbh and i cannot wait for the dlc 10/10)#(beautiful game. beautiful story. AND THE SOUNDTRACK???? impeccable.)#(do i intend to throw my hat into the fanart ring for this? yes. eventually. but u know how slow i am dont hold ur breath or anything)#(god. what a journey yall. WHAT a journey.)#(time to sit and listen to divine service/pianist of krat and like. cry for hours.)#(and try to finish a piece for choir menace hradi that needs colouring lmao)

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muirneach · 14 days

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youtube

46 minute psychoanalytic russian interview with andrey? i’m so sat.

#its three years old which is a shame i feel like a lot has changed but its a good one #i think this is the same interviewer i saw in a video last week #.. unless there’s multiple female russian interviewers who andrey is constantly for lack of a better word rizzing up #i think its the same. well i love her anyways. shes so fun #anyways. yes andrey tell me about your slightly unhinged family dynamic. tell me about breaking your own wrist trying to close a door.#im so obsessed with his sister and mother. definitely more than he lets on about his mom tbh #but ‘we’re not trying to make her seem violent or anything’ and immediately cutting to her yelling at like 8 year old andrey #IM GONNA KILL YOU cracked me tf up #also his story about him and danya playing as 6 year olds oh my fucking god. they are exactly the same #‘ the match was so bad i started eating the clay i dont know how we didnt kill anyone’ sobs #‘the rallies were 10 minutes long and we were both crying and he was telling everyone to go to hell’ that may be 20 years ago #but literally nothing has changed. obsessed to say the least #i think there was something i had wanted to screenshot and post from this but idr. there were a lotta good parts !#sportsball #video #i <3 native language interviews they are so much better than anything else #Youtube

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raksh-writes · 7 months

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Having a casual breakdown, cause I just found out I might've somehow broken my toe in my left foot just as Ive barely started uni again and need to go to classes. Like.

Is this some kinda cosmic joke? Cause its not funny...

#personal #vent #rant #i haven’t really done anything that couldve broken it tbh #but it Has hurt the whole day yesterday and got swollen #and my doc said it looks like it might be broken the way its like sticking out to the side #so thats fun #when I have to go to and from classes on foot 15 min one way #and the soonest I can Maybe get it checked out with like na xray or smth is tuesday next week #I could maybe try tomorrow but I Need to go to classes #I was already absent last week cause of my lovely migraine and sinuses issues #which might actually be covid #I need to do the test I bought today to check that #Im... Im just so tired of this already #I was happy and excited about going back to uni #and so far with barely two weeks of classes behind me theres only been health issue after health issue #Im gonna go cry some more #maybe that'll help #and then I dont know #grit my teeth and survive I guess

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paigemathews · 1 year

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Do you ever think about what Wyatt and Billie’s relationship would look like? I mean, do you ever think that maybe he sees Billie as an omen? A prophesied witch with not only extraordinary power, but projection specifically, that evil has hunted and desired for years, to the point of creating intricate plots to turn them from a young age? (While my Wyatt doesn’t realize yet, the fact that Billie and Wyatt both fell into evil’s clutch in the past? That their redemption came at their sibling’s life? That their deaths can be traced directly to them?)

Imagine Billie post-series, who has lost. honestly, everything in under a year. She went from a confident, headstrong newly-discovered witch determined to save the day to a powerful witch who lost her entire family and was manipulated and used by evil to attack good as a whole. After all of that, I don’t really think that you walk out of that without it becoming a deeply impactful and integral part of your experience.

So a Billie who is more subdued and removed from magical affairs. A Billie who knows the price and risks with magic, especially her own. A Billie who learns how to master her magic, because she’s already seen the consequences of her failures, but there is no real need for it anymore with the lack of demonic attacks. And she is asked, by the sisters who she betrayed and had to earn their trust again, to help teach a witch just like her to control his powers.

Beyond her own experiences, do you think Billie ever told the sisters about Dumain showing her what Wyatt was supposed to “become”? Or did she just chalk it up to his lies and manipulation? And even if she did tell them, do you think that the sisters would be able to tell her? When they themselves never actually knew how bad it was in the unchanged future? When they’re still unsure if they can trust her again and handing her that information includes telling them how, despite all of their power, they could still do nothing as a son/nephew died in front of them?

So she tries to impart how important it is that Wyatt uses his powers for good, not to harm. She trains him to control his power, tries to teach him to respect it as something incredibly dangerous. She conveys over and over again that projection is powerful, but dangerous and if you’re not careful, it can create a lot of harm. She isn’t his only teacher, but she, with her own history and the same power and the knowledge that he will outclass them all and that vision that is bad enough without considering what else he is able to do, is the one who is able to understand best. Piper and Phoebe and Paige are extremely powerful, obviously, but their power is rooted in their bond and that itself helps keep them in check because there is a balance. Billie, her sister (the key) dead and her as the real Ultimate Power, is the closest to knowing what that’s like.

Except Wyatt is Wyatt, his mother and father’s son in everyway but especially his heart. He’s the child who tried to prevent conflict before he was even born. He’s the child who took everyone’s burdens on himself as his to solve before he could even speak. He needed to protect his loved ones, no matter how powerful they individually were. When he failed, he blamed himself. When people struggled, and he couldn’t help them, he blamed himself. Not only does he blame himself for not being able to save or help people, he pins his entire worth as a person on his ability to help. This is the child who thought that he deserved to die because of his father’s grief and inner turmoil, something he wasn’t even to blame for. And he sees so much of himself in Billie, sees her story as a warning if he is to slip to the wrong side, if he is to be blinded to evil and used as a weapon. He takes every message that Billie tries to teach and internalizes it just a little bit too much, takes it just a bit too personally.

And imagine what happens. Billie, who can relate to Wyatt’s potential future just a bit too much, trying to teach him caution and instead teaches him fear. Wyatt, who sees a bit too many similarities in Billie’s past, transforms her lessons of control and innocents into repression and his value. Because they see those similarities, but they don’t quite see the differences and those differences change everything.

#charmed #abi speaks #wyatt halliwell #billie jenkins #charmed meta #*pterodactyl screech*#this wasnt supposed to be sad!! this wasnt supposed to be depressing!!#but now im crying at 1 am about billie and wyatt #bc they're so similar but their differences change absolutely everything but they're both drawn to those similarities #and so instead they both create this fear about wyatt's power and what he can do which just fuels that fear and aghhhh #this!! was not!! the plan!!#i wanted to sneak in a joke about them both being blonde but where the fuck am i supposed to include that #how am i supposed to make a blonde joke in this??#but also this v briefly touches on the fact that i feel billie is an incredibly interesting character after the conclusion of the show #tbh she's. insufferable on the actual show but i wanna try to have her as an actually decent character #and the tragic backstory can help with that bc. your parents are dead. your sister is dead.#you (probably) failed out of school and lost all of your friends due to your obsessive magic focus that you couldnt tell them #you betrayed the only people who were still there for you #you are twenty years old and your life is irrevocably destroyed #and you are the only one left to pick up the pieces to try to rebuild something that made any of it worth it #there is no way that doesnt become an integral part of who you are for at least a while #like. look at that amount of trauma in the span of under a year and let's see how billie pieces together something #bc there are no more demons. there are no more fights. there is only your grief and your betrayal and your mistakes that you have left #with all of that no wonder she tries to earn the sisters forgiveness. with all of that no wonder the sisters forgive her #bc what else could happen when its piper who lost a sister and phoebe who became evil for love and paige who lost her parents #bc who else can even attempt to understand besides the sisters that she betrayed? and bc they DO understand they forgive her #honestly i think that could be a pretty powerful story lmao #hey abi are you okay lmao idk im losing my mind over billie jenkins at 1 am what do you think

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cinnamon-notes · 24 days

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i have been ghosting my friends for idk a month??? and they have been doing the same??? except for when we meet in a workplace cuz somehow our jobs decided to cross over :)

#feeling so bad about it but like i cant bring myself to interact with people right now but i am also constantly sad because i dont interact #with anyone out of work :/ but working makes me socially exhausted & tbh all i wanna do is be depressed with my books & my movies &my tunes #but i also crave affection like i realize i have zero social life and i sometimes schedule some hangout with my friends but it's almost #become like idk a task? something i look at through work eyes. like- i arrange our hangouts the way i arrange work meetings. it's so sad.#i know it is. but still- i cant help it. through all my life ive been missing having a lifelong friend who knows me like the back of their #hands and i know like the back of mine. never had it. cant cry over that. it's passed. i cant invent lifelong friendships that never existed #and i gotta make peace with that. plus- what am i complaining about if im just incapable of keeping any friend for longer than a month???#after the first month- maybe the first couple of months- it all gets boring and dont get me wrong i really love my friends but somehow they #lose interest in me and i lose interest in them and we become just people who know each other and occasionally hang out but like- i've never #had a friend who's there for me when things happen in my life. i've always had friends to tell things to afterwards. like- i know i cant #really pick up the phone and say “hey. im having a bad time. can we take a walk? talk on the phone? can you tell me about your day? can you #just be here for me?“ and i cant even idk just randomly pop up with a ”oh my god i hate him i hate him i hate him it's a whole montague vs #capulet but if romeo and juliet never existed kind of hatred!!“ i just cant vent right away. ive always thought that that's my problem.#and maybe it is. but still- how's come they can vent to me? im always there right away. i do love my people and i show up for them.#sometimes my depression makes it soooo difficult to hang out constantly but if there's one thing that cannot be said about mw is that i dont #care. cuz i do. and maybe that's the problem #and maybe it's just easier for me to care than let others care? idk? but then again- i did try to open up. i did try to let them care. i did #try everything by the book & off the book but still- idk it's always just an “im sorry” never an “i care so much to say more than im sorry”#and yeah it's my problem cuz i am not a constant person im not that steady in what i do. i still dont know if it's because i havent found #yet the people worth doing it or if i am just traumatized (my ex is knocking on this door lol) but- idk it makes me extremely sad!!!#and ive rambled on way too much but i jusg needed to let some things out of my mind cuz i cant understand whats wrong with me and why i #crave true friendships although im hella scared of and bored of and unwilling to nurturing one :)#cinnamon diary

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coridallasmultipass · 1 month

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Felt cute, might deteriorate later. [He/Him]

#feels like im in hell um #shibuya to belgium #anyway did my eyebrows perfectly but its night and ill prob sleep em off so ugh #im so tired bro i went thru my arm workout THREE times today bc of stress and anxiety #not to mention body dysphoria on top of the health concerns im trying to not think about anything rn so selfie time #OBLIGATORY: 'DISCLAIMER: i'M HI (HIGH)' TAG #but tbh not enough im still hurting with stress #could fuckin go for another round but i rly gotta try n sleep bc i get to cry abt all this in therapy tmr yaaaaay #fuckin hate that i cant treat endo lmao its like living in a cage w a tiger and not knowing when its gonna attack or give a love bite #anyway not to be a crybaby but yeah im not okay and dont know how im expected to go on lol #thought i looked good in my red light but ended up w a good orange light pic #wish i could show off my arms but its not impressive. mostly just feels nice to be like... solid lol #wish i could afford a gym #so my face will have to do for now hope i dont regret posting selfies at almost midnight lol #me #selfie #Cori.exe #Image.exe #ignore my chapped lips pls my dermatillomania has been rampant for the past like 2 days lmao i never stood a chance #hhhhh idk what to tag beyond this fence sitting whether to post or not so im just gon post and then go sleep hffff

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graveyardmouth · 2 months

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youtube

its that time of the night

#and the year.#really makes me feel like summer especially middle school and before #completely isolated from all my friends panic attacks every time the sun went down hiding from my mom trying to block out screaming as #best i could staying up til dawn drinking dr pepper stealing my moms books listening to my dads cds stealing chocolate chips and eventually #wine from the kitchen puking in the bathroom reading the perks of being a wallflower goinf out for bike rides in the early morning walking #to the library and collapsing on the way home cause i hadnt eaten in 2 days walking past the church holding a knife in one hand #biking because i just knew there was somebody waiting to kill me dying my hair three times begging for escape from the monotony making #friends on twitter and discord in bad places getting attention from strangers for my relationship with a razor blade staying up all night #for the quiet because i needed to be alone because i couldnt sleep to feel something besides numbness getting yelled at for keeping my room #messy and crying thinking about people knowing i was eating finding a book that made me happy and knowing that once i finished it id #return to awful numbing boredom nothing could fix god ive typed a lot #sorry im feeling nostalgic about feeling bad and summer has always been one of many low points in the year for me #anyways ✌️#dw about me im actually in a really good place mentally rn i just. am worried for how long itll last #and quite scared about getting taken off my antidepressants tbh #bug shut up #delete later #Youtube

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wampabampa · 3 months

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i hate my hair its so fucking stupid I swear- its feels stringy now cause I do double shampoo LIKE MY HAIR DRESSER DID and when i first did it it was fine but now its like "no *finger wag*" LIKE WYM NO?? you were literally fine with it for the first two months but now your a little bitch abt it

#squish the goober #rambles #so annoying #and i didnt even realize it until like #after my shower an hour ago #>:c #and cause its spring im shedding like crazy so because of all the extra strands my hair is getting tangled all the time #could brush it rn and in 20 mintiues theres gonna be a tangle #long hair sucks chat #i love it but #christ on a cheesy sprayed cracker with a slightly toasted edge #what the flip! just be normal!#anyways I got adobe now #so I will be trying to transfer the thing im doing on procreate now over to it #but im kinda self concious about it because like #i enjoy alot of detail in my work no matter what #thats just what I do even when i try to do simlipfed two days later im adding an extremly tiny detail and oh no its rendered god dammit #and with this im trying to do a poster for my fave movie as a kid and its just- not it cry emoji I was really loving it but now i looked-#at the actual posters from the movie (which tbh were ass besides 2) and im like nooo now my stuff looks horrible cause its not exactly-#-like the origanal source material #i dunno

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catfishofoldin99colours · 4 months

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me when my coworker is worried another guy in the office doesn't like her: Ah that sucks for her. Glad I'm not affected by that tho

Me when that same guy gives me a short teams message: Ah. Well good thing I don't care about being liked by him or not

Me after thinking about it for maybe 32 seconds: no actually I hate this

#catfish speaks #i get the feeling he does not like me #and im not about to try snd change that if he doesnt like me he doesnt like me #it just stung a bit when he sent me a short reply to a teams request and im like. ok ouch.#like mine was jovial and im trying to be nice #idk. it's very small potatoes in the grand scheme of things #and stands out cos i have a pretty friendly relationship with literally everyone else at work - bot just in the office but eith everyone #were a small company so i have spoken yo almost everyone and had decent friendly conversations with most of them #and i like pretty much everyone here! everyones quite nice and we have good comvos and i feel like we're friends #so it stands out a bit when i have one on one interactions witu this guy and theyre so #like. short. and business like.#tbh tho ik im also not the friendliest #especially in the mornings lol #maybe he jusy doesnt know hwo to talk to me either #anyway! small potatoes not a big deal anf not worth crying over lmao #maybe ill try to talk to him a bit more throughout the year #but if he doesnt wanna talk then theres nothing else i can do and i aint sweating over it

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toolazytodecide · 1 year

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Goldfinch status update: Theo just got back to NYC.

I feel like Popper is definitely a metaphor and I’m trying to figure out the details. Something about Theo taking care of him on the bus but also wishing he was a tougher looking dog. Like maybe it’s a metaphor for Theo himself?

Do you have (non spoilery) thoughts on this?

Don't get me started on the dog metaphor. May I remind you what Theo's mom called him? PUPPY!!! Theo is the dog, the dog is Theo. There's something later on that ties Theo to a dog even more. I should google symbolism of dogs... all I can think of is loyalty.

As for Theo calling Popper gay.... Popper wasn't the one admitting he's in love with his best friend in the last chapter.

#im trying so hard not to tell you about the dog metaphor later but its one of my favourite scenes and also brought me to tears #i dont cry which tells you a lot #also youre only halfway but thats enough to know Theo is gay as hell #or at least know he likes men #i could write an essay on his sexuality tbh #the goldfinch #theo work on your internalized homophobia #also he isnt a very macho guy and i think he does resent that about himself #also when we met Popper he was being neglected by Xandra #just left to shit everywhere for a few weeks with a pile of food and water #a lot like how they treated Theo #but Boris and Theo took care of him the way they took care of eachother

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