#im tryna make myself love the game again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

empoetic · 2 years

Text

im wishing i could fly away x2

spend my time on another day

get myself to some other place

i wish i could fly away

Fly awayx2

But first I gotta get a few nice things before

I need a sweet senorà, with a weed aroma,

and a superficial need to feel important

Just another thing to keep so deep in

storage,

Speaking mi amora to all of her amigas

you can see it clearly i dont need a feature

im still telling every beautiful girl that i cant sleep alone

once again im chasing validation from these fucking whores

its like i got something wrapped around my throat must be why feeling choked seconds away from getting smoked

Yo my life fucking blows and it's always so cold between the wind and the snow

I been feeling low

at the end of my rope

Hangin a couple feet from the floor

Theres no place like home

said Theres no place like home

and theres no way Im going home

ive got too much coke and my flows so woah when I'm off that blow so Potent it makes you wonder where the fuck your life is even going

its always so cold where I'm living

somehow the whiskey keeps me simmered

wishing I could go back to simpler times

fish in the river

swigginn moonshine by the waterline in the firelight after midnight

ive got it all memorized

the look in her eyes before she'd put her lips on mine

I used to tell her all the time

She left me so hypnotized

No other lover she gives me all my rhymes

So I mumble another jumbled stutter As I stumble through the crumbling rubble and troubles and puddles of my life I realize I've rumbled and pummeled so much I've fumbled with the number,

as I examine this planet I come to the understanding that we've got no need to be panicked

She was my sunshine

The dawn beyond the horizon

i feel her on my skin,

she's Warming up my mind

It's too easy to give in so she wins

i've gotta learn that when she shines

To just let her shine

and If could I woulda left my shoulda beens back where i'm from

but tonight I'm lonely without a woman that wants to ride shotgun,

so i end up sitting in my backyard,

sippin liquor staring at the stars missing when I had a copilot that could navigate this path im on

She told me once we'd get through this together

I lost her love bro I won't lose it again

She told me i could never do any better

so i'll never let her move on again

but lately shes been the reason for my recent depression

Wondering who's bed shes been in this weekend

Tryna decode all the mixed signals she's sending

n if I had'nt seen the messages I woulda believed her when she said this shit was all in my head

but I know better cause Whenever we're together she's always busy Texting her friends

and with all the shit that they talk you'd think cats use my name as a litter box man

and im just tryna feel the love but shes all i got to work with

i just tell myself all this has got to be worth it

how can life feel so perfect when we're singing

and its always so goddamn cold where I'm living

somehow the whiskey keeps me simmered

wishing I could go back to the simpler times

when there were still fish in the river

and we'd sit riverside on the waterline by the firelight swigging moonshine in the moonlight after midnight

ill never forget the look in her eyes before she'd put her lips on mine

I used to tell her all the time

She left me so hypnotized

off upon another journey im learning that whats hurts the most in life is often the other person

together we wonder to ourselves if its worth

i find all this searching and lurking to be rather concerning

im working towards my goal of reaching my peak performance

fake friends wanna act like their family but they would never shed blood

always behind you in life waiting for the moment they can get some

i wonder if they pace just to waste away the days wondering to themselves when they can take your place i gotta say its a pointless game they play they could never bear my shame or the essense of my name

its not a rap game i been doing it for the life insurance

so no i dont spin tracks i only brought this butane lighter fluid so i can burn buds with some beauties at the bush party tryna stay sober enough to fuck before we head back to buddies shop so we can more shit faced before the sun comes back up and once it does some of us will head to bed while the others head downstairs bump some deadly dingers in the basement lets face it tonights just another night so we might as well just waste it

(but im not gonna lie i dont even know what day it is)

patience young padawon; we're waiting for the next paycheque

so dont mention cocaine unless i can i hit the atm quick

and i always practice safe sex

cause i tell her she dont need no motherfucking make up

but she better not expect me to be her salvation im just saying

your breaths getting wasted if youre the one chasing the conversation

how can you escape yourself when youre stuck in the same places

i can see it driving you insane and ive gotta enough pain so i hope you understand

ill be up on stage telling everyone else about how it felt when i decided that i should do better for myself

bruh i wont even lie im only doing this for the wealth cause my moms got no fucking food on the shelf

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sadpiixels · 4 years

Photo

so i haven’t been posting, obviously, but this is the cute lil family i’ve been playing with. i made nathaniel & belle with story mode in CAS, and kinda rolled with it.

nathaniel is a doctor, via cas. belle is a botanist in the freelance gardener aspiration. these are their babies, tommy & fiona. belle’s currently preggers with baby 3.

they’re currently in a 64 tile tiny home that i built, which i’m proud of. but since baby 3 is an oops baby, im gonna have to upgrade them to the 100 tile one soon.

#ts4 #ts4mm #maxis match #simblr #cas #random update i guess #im tryna make myself love the game again

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orange-waterfalls · 3 years

Text

Gamer Boy Crush

Googleplier Red x reader

ty, albinopines anon for the request

A/N: ALBINOPINES. albinopines my beloved i need you to listen to me. i love you albinopines. anyways the reader’s gamer tag is albinopines cdjsvfge. i feel like it’s important to note that i’ve never played an online shooter ever in my life. all the info I have is from youtube videos. I wrote this under the assumption that Red accidentally played with a group of people who were already friends. Also Googleplier Red is Elliott and he’s an angry bitch but we love that for him. Uhhhhh there’s not much plot to this At All Mr Red just made an online friend and that friend is you. his POV. Who doesn’t develop a crush on their online friends every once and a while? DISCLAIMER: I LOVE BUGSNAX AND HOLLOW KNIGHT I JUST THINK RED WOULD LOOK AT ANYTHING COLORFUL AND CARTOONISH AND TURN AWAY AND ALSO YOU SHOULD PLAY BUGSNAX AND/OR HOLLOW KNIGHT

Enjoy!

Word count: 2.4k

Gamer Boy Crush

Elliott scowled deeply when he heard Oliver laugh from his area of the room. He was so loud and happy all the Goddamn time. It was infuriating. He wouldn’t say that because Lee would get pissed and refuse to tell him how to do the puzzles in Resident Evil (he wasn’t very smart when it came to those). So he had to sit and cope. He clenched his fist and willed himself not to overheat when he heard more laughing from the yellow Android. He walked over to his wall, tempted to punch it, but decided on knocking on it like a door and plopping back down in his chair. He snatched up his controller and put on his headphones. Maybe a game or whatever will calm his nerves.

He scrolled through his games for a bit, knowing he was too angry to properly play anything, but not wanting to play anything cutesy, like whatever the fuck Oliver was trying to make him play. Bugsnax? Hollow Knight? Disgusting.

His eyes landed on a multiplayer shooter. He usually didn’t go for those types, because people fucking suck, but he thought: oh well. It’s been a boring day. So, he opened the game.

“YO WHAT’S GOOD, GAMERS” Someone yelled into their headset the moment he got in. He flinched and immediately took his off. He could still hear him from where it was on his desk.

my guy u r so damn loud keep it the fuck down - he typed in the chat. He heard a “FUCK YOU” from the headset that made him snort.

im taking my headset off - another player typed out.

me 2 - he responded.

The one guy kept yelling and he was starting to get annoyed but the game hadn’t even started.

albinopines: @xgoogleredx hello :)

He tilted his head at the message.

xgoogleredx: hey

albinopines: ur name’s cool

xgoogleredx: urs too, albinopines

albinopines: thanks i made it myself

He chuckled a little at the response.

xgoogleredx: hey so like i haven’t played this game ever i need help

albinopines: it’s ok i’ll help u

He smiled and suddenly he was in the game. He panicked a little, but played as best he could.

They won the first round because he got a lucky headshot, and he couldn’t help but be happy that the rest of the team was happy. He decided to put his headset back on, and--

“HEY GOOGLERED I’M TALKING TO YOU!” Albinopines said loudly into their mic.

“What the FUCK do you want?” He growled. Everyone was silent for a moment.

“You did really good and I’m proud of you,” they said softly. Somebody else laughed and he smiled.

“Thanks.” He sighed.

“Alright let’s fucking GO, BOYS,” They yelled and he took his headset off again. The other players let out a chorus of “LET’S GOOOOO” “GIT ‘ER DONE” “USA, USA” and he was positive he’d never met anyone this excited to play any game ever in his life. He debated in his head for a moment, before putting the headset back on.

Everyone was messing around during the countdown, including one player just spinning in a circle the whole time and albinopines continuously trying to jump on his head.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He wheezed.

“I’m-I’m tryna make a tactical… decision.” They responded.

“Try-Tryna pull a voltron.” Another person added.

“YE-Yeah a fuckin… V-Voltron. Power Rangers. Just-Just stay still for a second.”

The timer ran out and they were audibly disappointed, but started moving. Everyone was quiet for a bit, and nothing much happened.

“Yo, Red on your left.” Albinopines said quietly. He didn’t understand, so he just kept moving. “Red your left. On your-RED ON YOUR LEFT!” They were increasingly panicked and he turned just in time to get shot in the face by an enemy player.

“DUDE!”

“I SAID ON YOUR LEFT”

“YOU FUCKING IDIOT”

“Hey don’t call my son an idiot”

He laughed loudly at that, and spectated until the next round. He took a deep breath, staring at their operator on the screen, before making a decision.

“Parental figure, I require assistance,”

“WH-Yeah, what is it.”

“How… do I… use… my drone.”

The voice chat erupted with laughter and he felt a small sense of pride.

“WELL, I THINK WE’RE A BIT LATE IN THE GAME FOR THAT BUD…”

He spoke a bit more in this round and was a more active participant in the actual game, making him feel happy. Even when they lost the final round, he wasn’t that unhappy about it.

And when they lost the next game.

And the next one.

And when they finally won a game, everyone cheered before saying they needed to leave and that it was getting late.

“WAIT wait guys I have an important question.” He said. Everyone quieted. “... how… do I send friend requests.” a series of groans from everyone else.

“Well, you have to--” albino started. And then the screen closed. His eyes widened in horror as he flailed around to look at his computer.

“Game crashed. Shit happens.” Lee mumbled. Elliott buried his head in his hands. He sighed heavily and stared at his screen for a minute, mourning the loss.

He got a message.

albinopines - hi! sorry about da game. getting disconnected sucks :(

He smirked a bit.

xgoogleredx - would u believe this is my 1st time playing

albinopines - considering u didn’t kno a basic mechanic i would lmao

xgoogleredx - might delete the game

albinopines - well, i swear its fun once u win multiple times

xgoogleredx - im p sure u r the only person i liked playing with

He widened his eyes when he realized how that sounded.

xgoogleredx - i mean like u and the team

xgoogleredx - like all of u

xgoogleredx - not just u

albinopines - aw ty

albinopines - that y u said person instead of ppl?

He scowled a little, but chuckled. Cheeky fucker.

xgoogleredx - hey

xgoogleredx - fuck you

albinopines - sorry lmaooo

albinopines - pullin out the fully spelled words?

albinopines - r u mad at me? /j

albinopines - but also /srs

xgoogleredx - nah, not really

He sat for a few minutes, waiting for a response. He got a little worried that maybe they thought he was actually upset and wanted to leave him alone. He didn’t want that. He didn’t have any friends (online or in real life) and he was honestly pretty lonely. This was fun. Entertaining. This person entertained him.

While he stewed in self-pity and doubt, he got a notification.

A friend request from albinopines.

He smiled and took it.

albinopines - hey hey u wanna play minecraft?

xgoogleredx - sure

xgoogleredx - i don’t like the headset, can i only communicate through chat.

albinopines - oh, that’s fine :)

He waited a minute or so before getting an invite and entering the Minecraft world. He smiled at the custom skin squatting and jumping at him repeatedly before copying it. They threw him some wood, a chest, and some meat before jumping off to do something else. He turned his character to look back, and saw a door that presumably led to the interior of their house. Elliott smiled and went to follow albinopines.

“What are you doing?” Elliott jumped when he heard one of his ‘brothers’ talk to him. His computer faced Lee’s area, so he always spied on what the red android was doing. Elliott scowled at him.

“Nothing,” He said.

“Who’s ‘albinopines’?” Lee asked, ignoring him.

“Nobody,” Elliott snapped. Lee didn’t say anything else, so he kept playing. Your Minecraft world was coming along nicely. He didn’t really like these kinds of games, but you liked it, so he wanted to play.

“... that’s not what you mine that with.” Lee said suddenly, making Elliott jump.

“Can you… leave me alone?” He twisted around to look at his green brother.

“Fine, lose the redstone. See if I care.” He went back to trimming a bonsai tree on his desk. Elliott mumbled angrily and turned back to the game. He paused before mining.

He switched to the stone axe and heard Lee chuckle from behind him. He wanted to curse at him, but you typed in the minecraft chat.

albinopines - where art thou

xgoogleredx - underground

xgoogleredx - mining redstone

albinopines - hell yeah!

albinopines - where the stairs

xgoogleredx - what stairs

There wasn’t a response for a while and Elliott thought he might’ve messed up.

albinopines - red

xgoogleredx - ye

albinopines - did u dig straight down

xgoogleredx - ye

Lee barked out a laugh behind him.

xgoogleredx - y?

albinopines - well u can’t come back up

albinopines - w/o getting rid of all ur cobble

albinopines - and also that’s the worst idea ever

xgoogleredx - o

albinopines - i’ll throw u some dirt dont u worry bab

Elliott smiled at the screen a little. He didn’t like acting weak in any situation, but this was a special case.

xgoogleredx - noises scawy :(

albinopines - u stay right there im comin

xgoogleredx - help

albinopines - pines is on da way

albinopines - voila!

A bunch of dirt suddenly entered his inventory

albinopines - dirt for the noob

xgoogleredx - my savior

He made his way back up the hole.

albinopines - that’ll be all ur redstone pls

He snorted.

xgoogleredx - no

albinopines - u don’t even know what to do w/it

xgoogleredx - it’s mine

albinopine - ill fight u 4 it

xgoogleredx - fine

He equipped his wooden sword. The other equipped a diamond sword and a shield. His eyes widened before they started attacking. He tried attacking back, but died quickly.

“Loooooseeeeer…” Lee teased from his area. Elliott spun around to glare at him. The android had an infuriating smirk on his face as he snipped at the little tree. Elliott turned back around and made his way back to where he died. There was a chest, but the other person was gone.

xgoogleredx - where’s my shit

albinopines - the box, dummy

xgoogleredx - o

xgoogleredx - thanks

albinopines - ooooh gettin’ real late

albinopines - I gotta go

xgoogleredx - aw

xgoogleredx - c u l8r

albinopines - c ya

He exited the world and sighed as he scooted away from his PC. A noise sounded throughout the room, signifying it was time to charge. All 4 androids went into the center and sat on the couch. They all closed their eyes as they were plugged into the wall. Usually, they all were silent as they charged, taking the time to simply recuperate. Usually.

“Someone has a gamer boy crush,” Lee said in a sing-song voice. Elliott’s eyes snapped open and he silently swore he’d murder his brother one of these days. Oliver let out an obnoxiously loud gasp.

“Sorry, are we talking about Elliott? As in… Elliott?” Google asked like he was surprised.

“Baby’s first online crush!” Oliver laughed. Correction. Elliott swore that he would kill all of his brothers. Slowly. Painfully.

“He’s been talking with albinopines a lot. Even played with them all night one night.” Lee explained. Elliott was now mortified and his eyes were wide. How did he know? WHY did he know? He thought Lee was sleeping. Not that they needed to sleep, but some of them enjoyed sleeping. Like Lee and Oliver. Elliott had done that when he thought they were asleep. Were they not asleep???

“Awwww…” Oliver cooed. If Elliott had blood, he’d be blushing. As it was, it felt like his processor was going to catch on fire and there was steam coming out of his ears.

“Ew.” Google gave him a look he didn’t enjoy.

“I don’t… have a crush.” He said slowly and firmly to get it through their thick heads.

“Please…” Lee snorted, “It’s obvious.”

Elliott sank down in the couch and squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for his brothers to wear themselves out and stop teasing him.

Elliott hadn’t heard from you in a bit and he was starting to get worried. Had he come on too strong? Did they get bored of him? What happened? He didn’t want to seem desperate by messaging you first. But he was desperate, and he missed his friend.

“They’re at work,” Lee said. Elliott rolled his eyes, tempted to just dismiss the statement, but he paused.

“... how do you know that?” He asked slowly. He knew that Lee could just look up the gamer tag and go from there, but he didn’t seem the type. He turned to his brother, who was smiling while gaming away on his Xbox. “Lee.” He called out. Lee glanced at him.

“Hm?” He hummed. Elliott clenched his fist.

“How do you know that?” He repeated. Lee sighed, pausing his game and taking his headset off.

“Do you think I’m just gonna let my brother talk to a stranger on the internet without talking to them first?” He asked smugly.

“You talked to them?!” Elliott all but yelled.

“They said that they have fun playing with you!” Oliver called out. Elliott whipped around to look at Oliver, then back at Lee.

“Also they said that you’re a little weird…” Elliott squinted at him. “Their words.”

“Incorrect, they said that you’re fun to talk to,” Google corrected. Elliott squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in his hands.

God, he was embarrassed. This was embarrassing. He couldn’t have this one thing? This one thing to himself?

He heard a sigh from Lee and picked his head up to scowl again.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” He rolled his eyes and put his headset back on, continuing the game he was playing, “I’m not their friend. I’m just the protective, nosy brother in their eyes.” Elliott didn’t answer, instead facing his computer. He typed a quick apology message out, before continuously erasing and retyping to make it sound less whiny, less mean, less sad, less anything. Lee huffed a bit.

“‘Hi, sorry for my brothers. They’re nosy and I hate them. Wanna play Minecraft?’” He recited. Elliott froze. He sighed, typing out the message word for word, before sending it. He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. He closed his eyes, listening to the small taps of Lee’s controller, Oliver’s humming, and the soft whir of the computer fan. Eventually, he heard the notification sound and looked at his screen.

albinopines - nah, ur good lol. sure i’d love 3

albinopine - *2

He smiled softly, entering the world. As he played, he knew Lee was watching. He’d long since stopped pretending he was playing, as the sounds of the controller stopped, but Elliott didn’t think he minded too much.

“You can’t mine diamonds with gold, you made that pickaxe for no reason.”

“CAN you PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP?”

#googleplier x reader #googleplier red #googleplier red x reader #gn!reader #gender neutral!reader #gender neutral pronouns #gender neutral insert #x you fluff #x you #markiplier egos x reader #markiplier egos x you #googlepliers

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pndnj · 3 years

Text

Cathartic- Yellow Metal Lyrics

Heres where I am with the lyrics, I referenced @25Goldenn on twitter for some of it that I couldn’t comprehend.

*music*

0:23

Dark matter, like painted splatters, they fit better, the old saying, the way it goes, better the devil you do then you don’t know. I hit pedals and switch levers, my heart metal, I can't settle, im part trouble, they are not subtle. I fuck good so fuck cuddles, burst bubbles the thrist levels at new heights, i down doubles, and got baked til I felt high, my face puzzled, felt muddled, far strung and your floors woodent, the thought might but the fit wouldn’t. A fortnight

0:46 - 1:00

And I thought right, it’s all bark and no bite, I’m Tony Stark still embarking on a dream, took a bit of time to take darkness from the team. Seen what I saw. Heartless on the sleeve. Tried to burn my wings, so I put them in a piece on my chest , at peace no rest.

1:00-1:15

Flipped this on it’s head. Rip the script up now, flip it don’t pretend, slipping shit again, Fakers all around me, I’ve been living in pretense. Fake friends won’t make amends. There’s no need, these mean comments control the scenes. Attentionseekers, the spine is weakened

1:15-1:24

This family needs, what a family needs, and the planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving til we ascend so fuck the fence, and until they stop killing colour it’s fuck the feds.

1:22 - 1:44

You must be off it, I mean it, you know you ain’t never get with the judging and I used to dread growing my beard too long, never felt I belonged, but it's really long like a minute I ain’t looking to no mans for the limits, They’re feeling timid, I’m telling them who they mimic, why they don't look like a clinic …. Why they don't get no women, Still, we’re just fucking girls, Lost in the wrong world, Jurassic, now to this vermin

1:41- 1: 50

Kicking the game I’m serving, these losers are never learning, my fire is forever burning, adding it to my fuel, seems like I’m always focused on never becoming you, These locals that rob us feeling … was for a reason.

1:52-2:02

I’m seeing my new beginnings, watch out this loser’s winning, and no water is too deep to swim in Like I’m about to see a killing, I’m all the way that and living, flawless and feeling lawless, the prison now to the gimmicks, my vision is set to something,

2:03-:2:20

I’m watching you bitches plummet, no matches here for my cunning, you rappers are feeling done in, switching your genre, running and Running your jaw, stunting, pulling at straws, something I think you’re a poor effort, deaf and tone deaf and I ain’t treat you separate. Living, I’m in my element, riding it like a … never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a benadryl. Keeping it green in general

2:20- 2:46

Think that you remain irrelevant. Look at yourself with reverence, hoping to always elevate. Celibate of these thoughts, killing themselves with sedatives. In comparison to eminem, you’re feeling feminine. Impolitically correct, still dropping on my dick. And I never gave a fuck about what they say abt my shit, I’ve been moving things in my mind like it’s this mountain dew Memories have made me wonder if one day I’m after you. What’s the purpose that you do, is what you're hoping that they learn, i’d like to say i’m done but it’s getting up on my nerves

2:46 -2:55

I’m looking at my life, saying what do I deserve. It’s hard to say I know when I’m walking through the dirt. Talking while you’re nothing I can see for what it’s worth. I’m tired of feeling hurt and I’ve tried enough but nothing works.

2:55-3:40

I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work. Chit chatting is the usual, talking to this clerk, i beg you don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt so everytime they see me, the oldest know to swerve. SWERVE Life is potent, bits of fucked shit… till they took notice weren’t no hocus pocus, it was hard work that got me heard so i put in the graph like google maps but the whole earth

… around my door mat, taking over like the drones, rolling dirt up in miles like the water, and exploding like Annas hematoma. Don't need to see a slammer to know that I don't want to go man

I’m a showman. I’m just focused on the drama… like i’ve got my own insurance, show myself the pain, like i boxed it in the frame, if we’re about to talk greatness im great, the way you have to say my name like beyonce

“Say my name”

4:00-4:46

Just a bum with a cigarette, sun coming up, all my thoughts on the internet. Feeling deep, I’m just bored with the silhouette single sec, get fucked up for the thrill of it . killer streak playing Pacman. Like I came from the Philippines vanilla bean still a thing for the thrill of scene,

Theres a beam, UFO, Leave it well alone I aint moving, stood still on the peloton, telephone and its always on the dial tone, it's been a while since i’ve smiled at a milestone, seen a big pile in my mind stone, me against the world on my Jack Jones, Like I’m John Jones, With pictures in the condo, far from John Doe, in the ___, like I'm Johnny Bravo, got pravado, with a small dick sitting in golados, feeling far gone, cuz that last hit was the good shit, was that stay lit

4:48-5:02

You can never take my shit come and get me. On the top floor, cloud 9, fading, never bailing, felt amazing, inhaling, til my lungs two guns blazing. Overcome all the stunts that I pulled. A suit of just skin and then wool

5:02- 5:17

This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm ya. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here till they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80, and start moving like a ruler, ?damaged? Like a computer going fast, bars from the jeweler, bring the songs to the beach in hopes of finding tuna

5:18-5:36

…

5:36- 6:16

Grab a bat, lose my rag. Couple things got me mad, a couple people got me wrong and now I’m changing up the swag. Coming in and stealing it, I might take the whole bag. Feeling undefeated, I’m a beast with a reason, and imma lead the whole pack. Fearless like I’m Caesar, I’m just waiting for a chance to fill it up with diesel, and all I've been achieving is clocking miles in its region, moving like a legion.

Promise that I made to myself an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving, staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving.

I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy, it’s time I grew up, a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on a mike.

6:16-6:32

I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane. The truth is on my medicine, can’t put that on your plate.

Speeding into everything, bout time I fixed the brakes. Don’t say I can’t communicate , you know I conversate with you in several different ways. And I know you know it’s references, looking at your face.

6:33- 6:53

Can’t justify mistakes, like every man that made them, seems I ain't the one to blame. Lying to myself, only had so much to gain, so now I’m switching up the plate, see if that affects the place, im at on most days

I ain’t going with the usual so they looking at me strange. Confused, I can feel it all, I’m here to make a change. It’s cold at 3am outside, I’m walking with the dog, thanking god that you don’t talk at all, my mind is switching off

6:54-7:12

Driving down to find myself, cuz I’ve been getting lost, lived this selfless life and found I can give a toss. Lessons that I’ve learned I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself.

So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt. Like burning toy soldiers that used to go up on the shelf. Recycle the ideas, conveying on the belt

7:14-7:29

.. circus, always hurting the way we felt? Embarrassed that we dreamt of bigger things and letting go of notions till we feel them in cement

Tired of only hoping, we feel broken men. Cuz the gravity is weight and has kept us to the ground, see the only people speaking with favors in their mouths

7:46-7:58

Got killer rhymes… no fillers, like godzilla, eating clouds cuz my smokes thicker, throat licker, my dope sicker, bringing people their hope like im the pope slicker, i hope you’re getting the point cuz i walk quicker

I thought my city was shit bcs I want bigger like my zipper couldn’t zip up fed up with the…my love is fickle.. Residual age has a primitive face

I see demise for your limited ways, Left it to simmer, simmer away…a fake glimmer in the haze

8:09-8:11

Feeling trapped this industry is a cage

8:34-8:50

Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views, while they’ve been sat in their chairs, I’m feeling pressure to choose.

Standing here as one man, how can I do half when you’re half the person I am. If it wasn’t in your life, you didn’t choose it. It’s the funny thing about music. It’s the pain and beauty of it.

8:52-9:11

Don’t give a fuck what my suit is, it looks good so I wear it, better than the shoot that People’s wearing, changing the whole narrative for these basics and scarcity

Been facing the racists from back when i were a kiddie .born up in in 93’. been living in Bradford City..kicked me out of the schools, they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p*** still sitting in the classroom chilling, and i'm angry now that I’m older I see they treat us different

9:12-9:25

got me thinking I’m the problem cuz they never dealt with those issues.

20 years later I’m still in the same boat, tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for, man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil, when they got me by the throat

9:25-9:35

Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them

‘Boy your skin is so light’, ok motherfucker take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.

9:35-9:45

I don’t know how that’s acceptable, when life is more susceptible to perception, be the death of them. I’ve been looking at the sky saying where’s that day of reckoning, you had your prophets right when they say that you would speak to them.

9:45-9:55

I need justice in this life and I trust that it’s my fight, cuz when I’m writing it feels right to have them focused on the facts again. Focused on the rap again, hoping for the change, gunna put this on the map again

9:55-10:16

Writing in all caps again, the pain, it goes through me so I write the letter. All the shit that could have brought me but made me better.

I’m at home with a pain in my soul , yeh rap… cuz you know I was too real to contest it, my time was invested. Now I look at the industry, I see it infested, looking like kids who would write on nesquik.

10:17-10:29

My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.

I ain’t never gave a fuck about these jokers and jesters. Ain’t no answers for these things, so just save us the questions, man allowed of violence, cuz my silence is deafening, your opinion stinks, somebody get him a breath mint.

10:30- 10:42

Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening, I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine Now they all wanna hear me, got a table at letterman. Direction changed, like I changed up the lettering. Don’t believe the age ,bcs I move like a veteran.

10:42 - 10:47

Raised on the benefit for whose benefit, they’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.

…no words coming out when you open your mouth

And to be honest, it’s insulting, offensive to my wounds that have been salting. Tryna ask me questions that they know I never answer. I’d rather sit online and reply to the fan art

11:00-11:06

Fuck a sports car, coming through when i rapped

tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor

11:06- 11:17

Fake life, 'sup online, suck a fat one. You don’t wanna buy into that, none of that son. Sitting in the garden 98’ in the Datsun, seen some hot summers but I still remember that sun.

*music*

11:51- 12:34

I make millions off of my pain, cause I know a few millions still living that way

Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause i hit the nerve. Only way that the sheep learn if the street firm, in my ways I don’t wanna change, everything just stay the same

Who you tryna convince you understand, cant maintain, let the lights dim some, get the Chow Mein, flex, get the tape, right up at night

Why these men be nice to my face, be nice, i ain’t tryna be a gangsta ruins my vibe

Rather be low-key and on my phone. Never need the trophy or the show piece

Never show peace in a North Face fleece. Show kids this like i wrote my flip

Cause the sign might fit till the start i’m sick

12:37-13:05

Now you see where I come from, the world don’t. Only achievement in this life is the Jordans. Committing petty crimes out of boredom, we can’t afford them. So I stole it, need a rolex

Go make sense, get yourself a job, It’s a poor man’s game tryna sit and pray to god, he ain’t sorting out your problems, gotta sort them out yourself

Used to tell us fables, now I’m writing them myself, Cause we raw like animals we all just need some help

Cathartic, I’m an artist, trying to put my heart in

Felt double crossed like Leo in Departed

13:05- 13:27

For the knowledge i’m not charging see I got it all free

But my hunger kept me starving like i’m feening for the feed

I just Need a reason to see me bleeding for my creed. Trick you with the words like I keep em up my sleeve. Picking where I fit, I see me sitting with the queen

I ain’t doing it unless you’re used to saying please

Let me flow a bit, before I sting 'em with the bees, They tryna kill us with disease

(Music)

13:34- 14:12

Why does it feel like they had the same notebook and the same four looks

Like the rain won't touch on their face, so sus when they lie don’t trust not a minor

Please no fuss, I just move through the game like must

Something in the way i adjust till i stick, Free falling like the ship, free fall till i bust

Remember 21 brother gave no fucks. Trying to project when they give them looks

In the projects, in the objects us

In my own way, never gave me love, shoulda never started this, broken hearted kid

Dried up the feeling till I stole the lid

Don’t wanna relish in the fame but I can’t resist

14:46-14:58

I like the way we feel, I like the way, I like the way

Ain’t no mistake, i am a being

I ain’t tryna be a leader, been selling out since Jesus

All my rhymes are for the readers, between the lines, like Father time, I fuck Mother Nature

14:58-15:40

That’s what they get, the connotations. Tell 'em I lived a life, and then I lived a life of adjacent? like its…. and played it patient.

Alone on my own spaceship, always tryna find greatness, still defying lines, but I’m fighting in my prime.

Shining light like Kylo while imma kill it all the time. Aging like I’m wine

Asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define. Focused on defiance, imma fight it while it’s life.

Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next, just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around til I’m the best

Speaking in full sentences, shoulda thought about a strategy before you went at the stratosphere about this… rings around Saturn, this ain’t a battle, I’m sat, I’m here

15:40-16:22

Catch me doing magic, hired and sounding tragic I think you could use practice and until that you get the blacklist and pull like a … actress? Fooling them like a catfish, schooling like a legend, happy to be the reference, fusing like iridescence, leaving them all guessing, leaking out of my brain like a pipe I aint fixing, shining like a star you can see it from a distance

Aint many of me around p*** I’m just different Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto, clean up like Im Dettol

I’m the man to put a bet on, sight smart like a weapon, this is my kind of setting, i write the world I’m sat in, while these others live on hype, i see them fight in how they type, the fruit is ripe for the taking, i think i might

16:22-16:57

Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here

16:58- 17:47

Eccentric things are mentioned like a kid stuck in detention tryna escape im just spitting what is written on the next page, spitting image of my dad in his young days

Born sinner when i’m livid i say fucks sake

Don’t worry i’m too cunning with no plumbing, the waterworks, i sung something that resonates, i thought it first like giving birth to the parrot perch

They see me do it and they know it works

Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse

You’ll be nervous, you don’t deserve it we’ll scratch the surface ill leave a crater, lift the dirt up to find the hurting

Can’t know for certain nothing is guaranteed, tryna be a better person than the world deserves to see cuz i see a lot of sharks still swimming in the sea

Cease and arrest what’s the reason.. And these the kinda kids we bringing up next

Distorted reality, all they needed was family, too hard to face, to see what the damage is

17:47

*i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, *

18:04-18:38

Sometimes they ask the questions too deep to form a sentence, to disform, is this the norm, is this the sentence i feel defenseless i played the setlist, and all my sweat blood and tears, forgot to mention feeling lost, going off into different sections i feel like love wrecked it

If it’s not a drug why am i waiting for the next fix, affected, i cant believe that you left this

I guess I leave for the best wish, moving on like im fine for the lectures

We see it all from spectrums, cuz if we’re falling down we can fall down together

Staircase to heaven, mirror down the middle like 11, resentment on one side it won’t settle

18:38- 19:14

Mind fried but taking sense, they aint got a sense of themselves in the rich ends

Need to spell it out for them.. Made for them so witness

I know you feel afflicted but you always love it with me while im laughing at you, ya think you’re laughing with me

I try to (i love you) but im grown so they don’t fit me, my body thrown from the new to this old city so Im sick of sitting on my own, feeling so shitty, i’ve been on roads where its cold and the snow hitting

Its okay to be yourself, sit and talking to myself

I’ve been walking for the longest, just need a little rest, know i ain’t the strongest, I can feel it in my chest, talking about my feelings and of me, they get the best

19:14-19:59

They aint leaving, seeing breathing in my breath

Till death do us part is just seeded in my heart, like a work of art

Never winning,im just scared

Cant begin from the start, do i play a part in the rhythm of the night

I guess i’m onto something cuz the dark is feeling right

Every cloud got a lining, put my own miles in, like moralis, figured that they’re jealous, that they could just never tell us to change because the weather never made me question whether or not i’m not that level

Got rid of all the bullshit sitting in my way, most of them are full of shit i see it every day

I do hearing the same things that i do, maybe that shits hitting like haiku

How much do you pay for them to hype you

Recycle your flaws but they aint like new, leaving and conceded and full of diesel like engines that need a cleaning, the ending will be revealing. Even though we ain’t raising the facts, now we been facing.

20:01-20:52

The cactus with spikes, needing spaces. Different faces, the same story. A full body like straight body direct to your system.

Could never tell 'em we missed’ em. Not even with the thoughts, we gift them. Cuz they just take advantage, guess we are caught in a system.

My soul pouring out details of borrowed time, had enough of a fill, this is for sorrow time. I’m seeing visions of Heaven, I seen the severed line, between the gospel they speak and when theyre telling lies.

Remember telling a friend of mine, you’d sent of mine, identified like a 3rd eye. Got a habit of knowing now where the dirt lies. So benign. I ain’t sober after 9, so I fuck their minds. Why you flipping out, see another

Try to rep it from the city, fuck a chiller crew, repping for the nittys, trying to keep us down, raised on the social, don’t want to let us out of the system. Me, I insist we assist them, me alone putting shifts til I lift them

20:53-21:12

I know it’s hard, that’s why I like it, I’m fit to fight it, I’m from the North, I’m backing Tyson, it’s been decided, don’t see no light. They needing guiding, just redefining, realizing, I’m realigning, in full finance, they stay silenced.

Can’t be louder, I’m juiced up with no powder. I fix shit like a slick spanner. Gone green like Bruce Banner. So free Gaza on my banner

21:12-21:51

The real McCoy, I ain’t nothing to toy with, signifying peace like a Japanese Koi Fish. How did this happen, we’re moving backwards in our timeline, killing us with cyanide, Right up for the freedom 'til we transform like Ironhide

This is bout my feelings, the way that I move affects the fate that I’m sealing. Can’t say nothing, with that something being on the page, kept inside the pen like the bars that have been kept caged. See I always had a plan, since I was young, we had nothing man

Now it’s been a few years since I ain’t seen the fam, on foreign lands. Bout to climb Everest in the avalanche. Right into the riddles as soon as you were born. Never asking the question cuz it’s the norm. See I’m in a questionin’ session

21:52-22:03

Like the manner got a method to teaching a lesson, listen to MF Doom, he taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten. Still we play cartoons so it’s never forgotten.

22:03-22:15

Chilling at the top but we came from the bottom. Writing and jottin for them life by, spotting the difference

*Dreams, was growing out of me, sun promising that tomorrow it will rise, time playing games with my mind, I swear it will pass us by

Train goes on the tracks, smoke, I’m tired to hide my thoughts, so blinded in flames, Don’t know where we’re going, I have no way of knowing, only see what’s in my head

Can’t we wait a minute, so we can savour this, It’s on my brain again, these days, It on my brain again these days”

23:10-23:46

They’re hating on Palestine ways, The oh no Palace playing Prince on the Steinway, Sending out mind waves, stop them like crimewaves, Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name

Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing

We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route, say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown

I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.. Done ain’t it, Shit just gets me vexed, and now I’m sitting that I think of it

23:45-23:59

Feeling on the brink of it, whatever it is, Figure out some shit at least it feels that way

talk about my feelings and I don’t feel so strange, finding solace, that’s a promise, in Metropolis but being honest, can’t write a sonnet, without some pain

24:00-24:40

Can’t fade away, away so we can savour this, been on my brain again these days

Can't find a way to be so you can savour this, been on my brain these days

Singing the song for another, singing a song for another

#zayn #yellowmetal #cathartic #feel free to correct me pls #cathartic lyrics

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summersun4youforever · 3 years

Text

✨ Tag 9 people to learn more about their interests!

tagged by my fav @loulovehome thank you pu hope that this quells your curiosity!

MUSIC

fav genre? not to be that person but i think i have a toe in most genres, i suppose my favorites have got to be anything taylor swift does, pop punk, r&b pop/new age r&b, and bluegrass

fav artist? again, not to be that person but i love so many artists! let’s do this based off of genre: taylor swift, 1D, 5sos, massive focus on ZAYN, the Avett brothers, and counting crows

fav song? fav song of all time (since i was young) is going to be come around by rhett miller but more currently i’d say you are in love by taylor swift and dRuNk by ZAYN

song currently stuck in your head? i have no idea how it got there but i have stressed out by 21 pilots stuck in my head??

5 fav lyrics? ok let’s do this kids. edit: this went in a “fav love song lyrics” way so sorry in advance.

1) I hope that I don't sound to insane when I say / There is darkness all around us / I don't feel weak but I do need sometimes for her to protect me / And reconnect me to the beauty that I'm missin' (January Wedding - The Avett Brothers)

2) Hands around my waist / You're counting up the hills across the sheets / And I'm a falling star / A glimmer lighting up these cotton streets / I admit I'm a bit of a fool for playing by the rules / But I've found my sweet escape when I'm alone with you (Disconnected - 5sos)

3) This is the worthwhile fight / Love is a ruthless game / Unless you play it good and right / These are the hands of fate / You're my Achilles heel / This is the golden age of something good / And right and real (State of Grace - Taylor Swift)

4) What if I changed my mind / What if I said it's over / I been flying so long / Can't remember what it was like to be sober / What if I lost my lives? / What if I said "Game over"? / What if I forget my lies? / And I lose all my composure (Back to Life - ZAYN)

5) I never said I was perfect / Or you don't deserve a good person to carry your baggage / I know a few girls that can handle it / I ain't that kind of chick, but I can call 'em for you if you want / I never said that you wasn't attractive / Your style and that beard, ooh, don't get me distracted / I'm tryna be patient, and patience takes practice / The fact is I'm leaving, so just let me have this (Jerome - Lizzo)

BOOKS

fav book genre? murder mystery and young love!

fav writer? jane austen, lisa jewell, and rick riordan (nostalgia ok?!)

fav book? the way i used to be my amber smith, rebecca by daphane du maurier, and then she was gone OR watching you (both by Lisa Jewell)

fav book series? i guess the whole percy jackson situations? i have everything RR every wrote, and i liked it all but i havent touched the older ones in ages

comfort book? not one specifically but the nancy drew books

perfect book to read on a rainy day? bird summons by leila aboulela

5 quotes from your fav book that you know by heart? i hope i can name five...

1) “The point is, life has to be endured, and lived. But how to live it is the problem.” “I am no traveller, you are my world.” (both are My Cousin Rachel by Daphne Du Maurier)

2) “And I’m terrified he’ll see through the tough iceberg layer, and he’ll discover not a soft, sweet girl, but an ugly fucking disaster underneath.” (The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith)

3) "I cannot make speeches, Emma," he soon resumed; and in a tone of such sincere, decided, intelligible tenderness as was tolerably convincing. "If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it. Bear with the truths I would tell you now, dearest Emma, as well as you have borne with them. The manner, perhaps, may have as little to recommend them. God knows, I have been a very indifferent lover. But you understand me. Yes, you see, you understand my feelings and will return them if you can. At present, I ask only to hear, once to hear your voice.” (Emma by Jane Austen) (sorry for the length, the shortened versions were not cutting it for me)

4) “Read, read, read. That's all I can say.” (The Secret of the Old Clock by Carolyn Keene)

5) “...amazing how boring you can get away with being when you’re pretty. No one seems to notice. When you’re pretty everyone just assumes you must have a great life. People are so short-sighted, sometimes. People are so stupid. I have a dark past and I have dark thoughts. I do dark things and I scare myself sometimes.” (Invisible Girl by Lisa Jewell)

TV AND MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre? i like dramedies, mockumentaries, and procedurals

fav movie? ive got a massive list on my phone but ill pick Doob (No Bed of Roses) and 3-Iron as my favs for today

comfort movie? 2000s romcoms, im talking clueless, 13 going on 30, how to loe a guy in ten days, ten things i hate abt you, legally blonde

movie you watch every year? mamma mia and all listed in prev question

fav tv show? too many, currently im rewatching arrested development

comfort tv show? new girl

most rewatched tv show? new girl

ultimate otp? shawn and jules from psych (ultimate bc ive been watching since diapers literally)

5 fav characters? winston bishop, stiles stilinski, bellamy blake, clarke griffin, lydia martin

super fun even though it took me an hour lmao, I'm tagging @technosoot @hometothecanyonmoon @sassylilnoodle @sushiniall @rosegold-thorns no pressure and sorry if youve already been tagged!

edit: i somehow managed to forget what i consider to be one of the greatest opening verses ever???? so bonus lyrics:

Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog / Where no one notices the contrast of white on white / And in between the moon and you / The angels get a better view / Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right (Round Here - Counting Crows)

#lei te night thoughts #personal #tagged

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andysbubba · 4 years

Text

𝕦𝕣𝕤 - 𝕊𝕥𝕖𝕧𝕖 ℝ𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕤

Based on urs by NIKI. It’s literally my favourite song of all time so can’t really resist writing this one.

Lyrics prompt: _“You’re bad for my health” / “But fuck sake, I’m already yours”

im playing around with writing styles so tell me if you like this one!!!

𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲'𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Now it's all guessing games, I'm guessing every gaze, like

Do you, don't you, would you even stay if you did?

All I know is suddenly without you the bed feels too big

You wake up in the morning and he’s gone. Really, you weren’t surprised. He came and went as he pleased. You’ve learnt to read him, his mind and his body language.

If he keeps his phone under the pillow and slept beside you, you know you’ll be waking up to a half empty bed. If he leaves it somewhere other than under the pillow, you’d have breakfast with him in the morning and then he’d leave.

Tryna find where your head is

But I'm losing myself in the process

You're bad for my health

All the good nights

Are they hidden goodbyes in disguise?

I never know

You’d wait for him to fall asleep. That’s how it usually is. And then you’d fall asleep watching him. That’s how ruined for him you are. For Steve Rogers. Even if he will never feel the same.

He’d always say good night before he fell asleep. You’d never know if it’s the last time he’ll ever say it to you.

He ruined other men for you. He didn’t really do anything much. Just stole half of your heart and brought it with him everywhere he went.

And really, you’d follow him everywhere. Not really physically, just in your mind, he’s the owner and you’re the dog on the leash just following him blindly.

Steve Rogers ruined you for other men.

You come see me only when I ask first

When you kiss me, do you wish it were her?

God.

But fucks sake, Steve Rogers wasn’t yours. And he’ll never be.

Maybe he fucks you like you belong to him and him only, but god, no, he doesn’t claim you. Maybe he shouts your name like a chant when he cums in you, but he will never, ever be yours. Maybe he chokes you and whisper ‘mine’ in your ear when he fucks you from behind, but you know that it wasn’t you that he’s claiming as his.

God.

He always goes back to her. You have his dick, but his heart was with her. And he’d take your heart with him because god, you are crazy for that man.

You make him cum, sure. But she made him cry. She’s the one he’s thinking of when he jerks himself off in the shower.

The best at being the worst

But fuck sake, I'm already yours, mmm

Sad to say, I'm already yours, oh

But, fuck. You were ruined for him.

You belong to Steve Rogers. Even if he doesn’t want you.

He knows you’re hopelessly in love with him.

And god, you know he’s using you because he couldn’t get her, but fuck. Yes, he breaks your heart. And he can do it again, and again till he decides to stop.

That’s how bad for your health he is.

“Let’s end this.”

You were surprised he stayed for breakfast. And he wasn’t rushing through it either. But those three words had been running through your head the past few days and you had to let it out.

“What?” He looks at you in slight shock. He visibly swallowed what was in his mouth and droped the cutleries he was holding.

“I said let’s end this.” Your voice was smooth and calm. You had no idea how you kept it that way.

He asks in confusion. “Like me spending the night over and staying for breakfast?”

Fuck. He’s adorable.

You pretended like you weren’t the slightest bit disturbed by the topic. You swallowed the bacon in your mouth and shrug. “Like you calling to come over and fuck me. And this whole sleeping over thing too.”

He ran his hand through his soft blonde hair. You knew cause you’ve pulled on it like a mad woman just the night before. And his stupid ocean blue eyes stared back at you. “But, why?”

It actually sounded like he was sad about it. You almost laughed.

Your resolve broke and you sighed.

“Because you’re breaking me, Steve.”

“Am I being too rough on you? Shit, did I break any bones?”

You laughed humourlessly. You felt tears welling up in your eyes and quicly blinked it away. You stepped down from the bar stool and walked towards the fridge.

“This is over, Steve.” You called out as you opened the fridge door, pulling out one of those canned drinks that you really shouldn’t be drinking at 10 am.

He strides towards you just as you closed the fridge door. “Y/N, what did I do?”

“You’re hurting me, Steve. You’re breaking my heart. You’re making me cry at night after you leave. You’re making me wish I never met you.” You chugged half of the drink in the can and looked at him straight in the eye. “That’s what you did, Steve.”

“We promised that there were no strings attached.” He points out.

You laughed in his face. Sounding cold and distant. “You knew I was in love with you. You knew that since before we even started this thing.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Y/N.” He towered over you when he pulled you in for a hug.

You pushed him away. Teary eyes staring back at his soft blue ones. One hand reached up to cradle his jaw and your thumb brushed softly against his cheek.

“Don’t you get it, Steve?” You asked. Your lips trembled the slightest bit. “Even if you break me and treat me like dirt, I will never stop loving you. You go back to Peggy even when she pushes you away. You‘re lying next to her even though your cum was still drying on my skin. I can try to hate you, Steve. But I know I never will.”

“I’m sorry.” His eyes were soft and teary. Did he actually feel bad for you?

You dropped your hand from his face as if it was on fire and wiped away your stubborn tears. “Delete my number, Steve. And let’s not talk anymore.”

He looks at you in alarm. “What do you mean? We still need to talk on missions.”

“I requested a transfer and it’s approved by Fury. You won’t be seeing me anymore, Steve.” You forced out a tiny smile.

“Y/N, you can’t be serious. You’re leaving everything behind because of me?” His hand gripped at your wrists in disbelief.

“I’m just leaving you behind. I’ll still talk to everyone else. But you, Steve, I can’t talk to you and pretend that I’m not in love with you.” You struggled to pry his hand from your wrists.

You were moving somewhere far away from this place. From him. The rest of the Avengers knew where you were going. But you made them swear on their lives that they wouldn’t tell him.

“Don’t do this, Y/N.” He pleaded.

A tiny part of you wanted to listen to him. A way larger part of you wanted to be rational. You chose rationality.

update! : kinda decided that this is the one and only part, because i honestly don’t know what i wanna do with steve, so many possibilities and yet, none of them seem right ://

#steve rogers #steve rogers angst #rough steve rogers #angsty steve rogers #angst steve rogers #steven grant rogers #steve rogers x reader #marvel #stebe #stebe rogers #steve rogers one shot #captain america #chris evans x reader #chris evans #cevans character

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cherienymphe · 3 years

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i found myself grieving so honestly with reader on her relationship with peter- before the abuse and everything of course. im mean she really did lose the person who knew her most, and in the worst way possible, that sense of loss cannot be denied. i understand her innier conflict with trying to reconcile that the peter who was sweet and the peter that brutally attacks her. i mean hell as a reader i have that same problem. you just write out everything so perfectly and so easy to sympatize and rationalize- gah! u just have all my adoration!

and god i completely understand where steve is from, even tho its overbearing and god it just seems so personal to him? the reader said he acts like a father and i completely agree in the way that its like he takes everything that happened as a personal affront and i know we dont know too much about steves past or relationship wit the reader in the story but it makes me wonder... did she miss signs with steve the same way she missed them with peter? signs as in not steve being a abusive maniac but idk maybe... a hint of over protectiveness? i mean we have seen how he reacts but i wonder if reader ever say the signs of his escalating behaviour over the years.

and awe bucky. sweet, soft, tender bucky. god he just makes me melt. can someone take care of him? 🥺 maybe reader and bucky can have a heart to heart about their abuse and lead the reader to a little healing. he could be her rock and steve could be the agrressive mfing tide that just throws hands at everything lmaaooooo

OUUUU dont even make me with tony!!! was he tryna manipulate her by the way? like he knew that shes not mentally thr yet to insist on repercussions for peter but tony trues to be like 'oh no i cant in good conscience but you shouldve done more to help H I M' like ok guilt trip? ok mr. mind games. i see what youre doing. im lowkey falling for it too but i SEE U.

god i hope peters beat to hell. which wink wink u totally hinted at and i love u for it. like i want him to live but i know hes a shit head and will make a comeback for reader which makes me want him fo die, but also the duds spiderman like? idk the world needs him? but i also kno if he does 'leave' reader alone he cud pick up another person and lock her up and no one would ever know. rehab seems iffy- that shit rarely sticks innit? and like how is reader ever gon face him again if theyre the a v e n g e r s? i mean sending either of them off to different teams kinda seems like a bad solution to a bad situation.

im personally rooting for a semi-recovered reader with soft!steve and bucky, just as friends that are a little too protective but its sweet. i wouldn't sneeze if things became more but honestly i think a friendship would be just right.

also holy fuck youre amazing and jeez u deserve fucking everything

I love all of this! Thank you 😭 I try to make it as realistic as possible so I wanted to focus on the plot of 'hey Peter was not always like this and even now he's still not always like this. He still has his moments and days where he's the Peter she fell in love with and it convinces her that things will get better because it's not all bad all the time'

#asks

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danganronpaimaginess · 3 years

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Can I have a male matchup plz any game works fine I'm a straight short girl around 5'2 with long brown hair and eyes and a leo. I like anime,dragons,reptiles,drawing but I'm not good,tarantulas,sweets,video games, memes,dark humor,tea and chicken tenders. I am very kind but I care more about others than I do myself. I have bad anxiety. I tend to overthink about everything. I love to sing especially country music but I am tone deaf. I have trouble standing up for myself because I was bullied alot. I can be very blunt. I also love to swear. I can be very loud. I love a good mystery and cop shows. I love dad jokes and puns.I am terrified of bees and heights. I am very lazy but I can be good at doing stuff if motivated. , unless I know it will happen or if I touch someone. I accidentally snap at people and I find people's pain hilarious so if someone gets hurt there is a good chance I will laugh at them. I sound meaner than intended sometimes. I can have trouble showing that im thankful at times. I pick at scabs as a nervous habit. I love to add alot of lemon juice to my tea to where it's more lemon than tea. When I'm woken up early with low sleep I am very mean and grumpy.

hiya love!! thank you for requesting! -mod fuyuhiko<3 ;slight drv3 spoilers for second character ~~ ❥ ~~ congrats!! i pair you with ; ; ;

- alright. listen. THE PUNS? THE LAUGHING AT OTHER PEOPLES' PAIN? - you are definitely on kokichi's radar. no questions asked. - he'd find you kinda chill. - if you get pranked by him before you start becoming the bestest bestiest friends in the world, don't worry about it. he's just tryna see if you're worthy to be his friend! - once you survive his "trial", as he liked to call it, he'll be stuck to you as if he was a koala. - you're the first person he runs to when he cries those crocodile tears. please don't encourage him. - don't get me wrong, kokichi will absolutely make fun of your interests and hobbies. he doesn't actually mean it though. - but that still isn't fair on you, right? please tell him at some point of your anxiety. it may not help much but he may just relent..a little. - he'll laugh at some of your puns, but if he doesn't like them then be prepared to be told, "that one wasn't funny. try again!" or something along those lines. - HE. LOVES. PDA. absolutely shower him in affection please oh please!! - if you don't like PDA much, try and tell him that. he's not gonna stop making you give him affection until you sternly tell him to. just, look out for the crocodile tears. - altogether, not a bad guy. just needs to know boundaries. <3 ~~ ❥ ~~ OR... ~~ ❥ ~~

- rantaro..just...just seems so perfect for you?!?!?!!? - like, first of all. the height difference. he won't bring it up much if you don't like it but he will give you piggy backs if you wish!! - he (and i) thinks you’re just so interesting and cool!! he’s been all around the world, yes, but he’s never met anyone has just...intriguing as you!! - he’s pretty chill about PDA, he won’t make a big deal about it, because, “well, it’s just a normal couple thing right?” - luckily for you, rantaro is also pretty intuitive! so if you feel uncomfortable, there’s a high chance he’ll notice and do something to help. - loves watching mystery and cop shows with you! he’s very casual about a lot of things and i can see him enjoying or not minding watching these kinda things with you. - if you catch him laughing at that short blonde kid that tripped and fell, don’t be surprised. he tries to hide it but sometimes the occasional trip and fall will make him crack up. just a little. - always makes sure you get enough sleep!! as an adventurer, he’s keen on making sure you get enough sleep. - trust me. he’ll know if you didn’t. - OH! he loves hearing you sing!! your voice is so lovely and it relaxes him so much. - but don’t get him wrong. while he likes speaking to you, hes more than content with just sitting next to you and doing your own things. - please show him love! he’ll return it tenfold!<3 ~~ ❥ ~~

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uwuwriting · 4 years

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Nishinoya, Kenma and Tendou w/ lyric prank

Request: Hi um so since you are writing for Haikyu now could I maybe get Kenme, Tendou and NIshinoya with a cute lyric prank? Like super sweet songs. Thank you and you can ignore this I’m sorry.

Don’t be sorry sweet anon of course I’m gonna write it. I love writing for Haikyu and I like it when you guys request things for them. Since you didn’t specify which songs I used some of my favorites. Love yaa. 💖💖💖

rules

warnings: Tendou’s is SUGGESTIVE.

songs: ‘Cuz I love you- Lizzo, Love- Keyshia Cole, Cyber sex- Doja Cat

NIshinoya Yuu

-I feel like Nishinoya is familiar with tik tok.

-And by familiar I mean addicted.

-So he had seen those lyric pranks here and there but never really paid any mind to them.

-You on the other hand found them so cute.

-And of course you wanted to see how your boyfriend would react.

-You had two options.

- One, send a horny/sexy song in hopes this escalates to something else.

- Two, send a sweet/ lovey dovey song and get a cute response.

-You went for the second option because you were feeling extra cuddly and you knew that he would come over to shower you with affection the moment you send the first lyric.

-He’s just like that.

-Overly affectionate in general and would leave whatever he’s doing if you need him.

-You were already chatting with him, he was telling a stupid thing Tanaka did to Kiyoko when you suddenly sent the first lyric.

- ‘ Never been in love before. What the fuck are fucking feelings yo?’

-He didn’t respond immediately so you took the opportunity to send another text.

- ‘ Once upon a time, I was a ho . I don't even wanna ho no mo'

- ‘Wait this sounds familiar....I KNOW THIS FROM SOMEWHERE!!!’

-You were kinda disappointed.

-You were hoping to keep him guessing for a little longer but you knew that when it came to you he was extra perceptive.

-He would sense when something was off in an instant.

-That’s why you couldn’t keep something hidden from him for longer than a day, and I’m being generous.

- ‘ Got you something from the liquor store. Little bit of Y/N and some Mo Tryna open up a little more Sorry if my heart a little slow’

- ‘Who said you are slow? IM GONNA FIGHT THEM I SWEAR!!!”

-You were cackling at this point, he was taking this very seriously.

-Still you were amazed at how he hadn’t figured out the song yet.

-But since you are a little shit you continued.

- ‘ I thought that I didn't care I thought I was love-impaired But baby, baby I don't know what I'm gonna do’

-I swear you could sense the moment the lyrics clicked in his mind through the screen.

-Matching your energy he responded.

- ‘IM CRYING!’

- ‘CUZ I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

-Both of you sent the last part at the same time followed by an array of heart memes and voice messages of you trying to hit the high notes.

-He did come over after leaving you on read for 10 minutes.

-You two cuddled and played the song on repeat for 3 hours straight.

Kozume Kenma

-Sweet lil kitty.

-He loves you and you know it.

-He doesn’t really like tik tok.

-He just can’t understand the hype behind it.

-So he is completely oblivious to this whole trend.

-You two are hanging out in his room.

-He was in the middle of a stream, commenting here and there on the game and answering a few questions.

-You were laying on his bed scrolling through your instagram and blasting music through your earphones.

-That’s when a love song came on and you wanted to dance and sing to it so badly but he was streaming....

-You wanted to share it with him because the lyrics reminded you of him and it was so cute.

-Slightly pouting in your mini misery you remembered the lyric trend.

-Even though the videos you had seen had been suggestive you weren’t really in the mood for that.

-You just wanted to cuddle him.

-Going into your chat you started to type the part you were listening to right now.

- ‘ Now you're gone, what am I gonna do So empty ‘

-His phone vibrated and he spared a glance at it but didn’t see what the message was.

-You weren’t about to give up though.

- ‘ My heart, my soul can't go on ‘

-He ignored it again.

- ‘ Go on, baby, without you’

-He spared a glance at it again and you contemplated on stopping in fear he might get annoyed when he saw it was you.

-But you knew he will only get flustered afterwards.

- ‘ My rainy days fade away when you come around please tell me baby’

-He grabs his phone as it vibrates and unlocks it.

-You can hear the chat going wild with messages when he smiles down at his screen, a rare occasion.

-You send another message.

- ‘ Why you go so far away Why you go ‘

-The blush that tinted his cheeks darkened as he turned to look at you.

- “I’m not that far away....” he whispered.

-The chat was beyond confused on what was going on.

-You sent the last lyric and that’s when he decided to end the live stream.

-He apologized to his fans and turn the computer off.

-He pounced on you the moment the camera turned red and he kissed you like there was no tomorrow.

-His phone lay open still in your chat, your last text facing the ceiling.

- ‘ Love Never knew what I was missing But I knew once we start kissin' I found you.’

Tendou Satori

-It’s a race of who does the trend first.

-You are both addicted to tik tok.

-That’s one of the reasons you are together.

-You are similar and like the same things.

-So you both have seen the trend on multiple occasion and have sent each other videos.

-In a way you were challenging the other to try it.

-You knew that your boyfriend loved pampering you in kisses and love, and you were tempted to send a love song something sweet.

-But you also knew that he was a little freaky, always making comments and getting you worked up.

-So you decided to be freaky yourself.

-He was at practice when you finally put your plan in motion.

-He would always answer your texts during his water brakes so it wouldn’t be long until he saw it.

- ‘ And he don't even scroll through Insta 'Less he going through my pictures ‘

-Half an hour passed until he finally replied.

- ‘You know me too well princess’

- ‘You’re too irresistible I can’t help myself.’

-You bit your lip at the messages and you knew that it wouldn’t take long before the more ..... PG 18.

-Debating whether or not to continue and since you were a little shit, you send the next lyric.

- ‘ I wanna touch on you You see me in my room’

-This time he didn’t hesitate to answer.

- ‘Oh is my girl feelin’ needy?’

-Not yet at least.

- ‘ Wish you were here right now All of the things I'd do ‘

-You assumed that his break should be over when you sent the text.

-Just to tease him.

-But to your surprise he messaged back rather quickly.

- ‘Tsk tsk you just had to do this while I have practice didn’t you?’

- ‘I’ll have to punish you for that.....’

-Here we go!!!

-You knew that if you continued you would be in for it big time.

-Even though you hadn’t been feeling particulary needy lately, messing with Tendou was always fun.

-You were usually the one being teased but turning the tables every once in a while was healthy.

-Even though he wouldn’t become a blushing mess like you, you still liked getting this reaction from him.

-Getting him worked up and impatient to get home was a bonus.

-You knew sending the last lyric would be your downfall.

-So you took a swan dive.

- ‘I wanna get freaky on camera I love when we get freaky on camera’

TAG TEAM AY: @brattyquirks @the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings

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