#isn’t this fucking wild guys

[harry-sussex]

Okay guys, as promised, another long post! Day 2, another one of the craziest days of my life - brace yourselves. This is a wild ride from start to finish - I put my blood, sweat, and tears (literally) into this one.

On Friday, I did a lot - I headed to the National Gallery (where I cried, like a lot, you know how much I love art), and then I went to BP and the mall to scope out locations and check out the vibe for the coronation, and then I met @duchessofostergotlands for dinner (she’s as fun, hilarious, and sweet as you’d expect, we had a blast).

After dinner, I decided I’d head on over to Parliament / Big Ben / the London Eye / etc. just to do the touristy thing, because why not?

I spent about an hour just roaming about, basking, doing whatever when I decided to head on over to the Abbey, just to check it out, see with my own two eyes the place where William and Catherine got married, where the coronation was going to happen, all that.

So I’m just roaming about, staring at the Abbey (which is massive and beautiful, by the way), chatting with some policemen and also texting @claireofluxembourg and @cambridgemadness about how crazy it all was and how it didn’t seem real and just how different things are now, you know?

In the middle of our conversation, I get this absolutely PANICKED text from Vanessa:

So I immediately freak out and call them both and they’re like SOS RED ALERT THIS IS NOT A DRILL GO GO GO GO GO so all three of us are at the same time looking at the fastest route from the Abbey to Oswald’s while on the phone and I’m sprinting in whichever direction I saw first and it’s no joke 23 minutes on foot and not worth waiting for the tube. So I start booking it, and I mean BOOKING it while V and Ara are on the phone trying to find a route while I’m just going going going. And they’re telling me who was spotted going in and what time the royals got there and when they think they’d leave, the whole conversation was just a rapid, frenzied SOS THIS IS NOT A DRILL SOUND THE ALARMS RED ALERT GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO. So I’m on the phone with two people and it’s pitch black minus the (very occasional) street lamp and I am not even looking at anything other than Google Maps on my phone. Before I knew it, I was crossing the bridge at St. James’ Park and as I’m getting to the other side I am still booking it SO quickly and I’m not paying attention to anything other than my phone and I am most definitely NOT watching where I was walking and it was so dark that I literally SLAMMED myself, full force, RIGHT into one of those black metal bollards at 100mph. I didn’t stand a chance of catching myself so I go flying, my bag goes flying, and I land on my hands and knees (but like, my knuckles, which are still scratched to hell btw). The whole thing hurt like hell (my right knee is legit purple lmao) but I somehow managed to hang onto my phone. So without hesitating for even a second I IMMEDIATELY got up, completely ignored my battle wounds, and frantically started grabbing my stuff while shouting “YES I’M FINE IT’S FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE” to the 5 million people yelling “ARE YOU OKAY??” from every corner of the park. I legit didn’t even stop - this woman almost had to chase me down because my wallet (!!) went flying and I didn’t even notice amid the chaos.

Unfortunately (but hilariously), I am still on the phone with Vanessa and Arantxa while the commotion is happening and they heard the whole thing, including my body slamming into first the bollard and then the pavement and my “oof” as I’m going down and then the groan once I’d landed and of course they are both crying laughing, which is where this post came from (I am also laughing out loud reading this as I’m writing lmao):

So at this point I’m bleeding, I’m half limping, I’m breathing heavy and sweating because I’m booking it, I almost lost my wallet, I’m still more than 10mins from Oswald’s, and I’m crying laughing at myself while Vanessa and Arantxa are dying laughing at me and honestly that part alone, battle wounds and all, was one of the highlights of my entire trip because let me tell you, it was HILARIOUS - nothing like uncontrollably cracking up with your friends even when they’re thousands of miles away.

Anyway, so I eventually make it to Albemarle Street and get to Oswald’s in one piece and relatively okay considering the earlier incident - I was still bleeding, though. I saw a few paps, some Range Rovers and Audis, plenty of protection officers and security, and maybe 5 regular people like me taking iPhone pictures on the sidewalk. So I found my spot and flung myself in between these two fancy cars across the street and slightly to the left of the entrance. I had my phone in my hand still (I literally did not put it down for a single second in more than 24 hours lmao) so I immediately start snapping pics while Arantxa and I are yelling about God only knows what. Vanessa had to hang up (I was so sad) but Arantxa stayed on the phone with me the entire time - poor thing had to listen to the whole commotion for more than an hour.

So I’m frantically snapping pictures without looking and when I finally get situated I look up I see Crown Prince Akishino and Crown Princess Kiko of Japan just like… standing there. Less than 20 feet away from me. Right across the street, on the sidewalk, like the world had decided “this is really not a big deal.” So naturally I’m completely starstruck and I couldn’t find any words so I’m just yelling “JAPAN!!! JAPAN!!! to Arantxa on the phone while she was also yelling into the abyss. Honestly I wish I could see security footage of this because the vision of me yelling on the sidewalk and her yelling on the phone was probably the comedy show of the century.

So eventually it occurs to me that they’re, like, literal people, who actually exist, who can hear and see and communicate just like I can, standing right in front of me, so I just start bellowing “HIIIIII!!!!” from across the street, waving so enthusiastically, and they looked at me and made eye contact and smiled! The Crown Prince and Crown Princess of Japan smiled at me! Acknowledged my presence! Communicated with me! Knew I existed, for even just a moment, can you believe it?

I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why nobody else on the street was saying hi - even after I said hi and waved, I figured somebody else would get the idea too, but nope - it was just me in an absolute tizzy, frantically waving and saying hi and using their names and telling them to have fun at the coronation and whatnot. I found out later that the women next to me were only there for the Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau (lol), so they had no clue who these other people were (fun fact, he never came out). They weren’t even fun about it - they were kind of judgmental about it. “Oh, you run a royal blog? I don’t care about any of these people.” They tried to be a buzzkill, but not on my weekend - no way.

Before I knew it, the royals just kept coming, and I just kept yelling and saying hi and waving, because why not, you know? Once in a lifetime, what was I going to do? Play coy? Act shy? Act like I didn’t know who they were even though I’ve known for years? Please. Literally - you only live once. When was I ever going to get the chance to see them again? Much less all at once?

And seriously, they just kept coming. At one point I was begging Arantxa to write it all down and I was also frantically trying to write in my little notebook and snap photos and pay attention without missing anything important (more on that last part later). All of the pictures are awful because I wasn’t looking at my phone while snapping them, I was just looking at the door, but you’ll see.

After Crown Prince Akishino and Crown Princess Kiko:

Prince and Princess Michael of Kent - I didn’t say anything to Princess Michael, of course (she got in on the other side of the car anyway), but I did say hi to Prince Michael and told him to enjoy the coronation and he waved and smiled at me!

Then came King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck and Queen Jetsun Pema of Bhutan. I said hi and waved at first and they both honestly seemed quite shy, but then I bellowed YOU LOOK SO PRETTY!! at the Queen and she smiled at me!! She really is so stunningly beautiful. Like, so beautiful.

And after that… came Prince Andrew, The Duke of York. I don’t know why I wasn’t expecting that, but I wasn’t, and it took me a minute to figure it out and once I did, I literally gasped out loud and said “it’s Andrew” to nobody in particular (except Arantxa I guess lol), but yeah. I didn’t say a thing to him of course, just took pictures. He didn’t look up at anyone or make a single expression or anything - he and his team booked it to his car at the far end of the road which was in the complete opposite direction of the paparazzi. I didn’t think a 60 year old man could move that fast without breaking a sweat (lol) - top right is him keeping his head down and bottom right is the best shot I could get of his team absolutely sprinting to the car on the far end of the street:

I will forever, forever, forever, FOREVER be furious at myself about this next one. 2 days later and I am still absolutely dumbfounded and so, so, so pissed at myself. I saw this guy and I thought it was Grand Duke Henri of Luxembourg - I couldn’t tell though, so I was absolutely fixated on it. He went right, and I was snapping pictures so I could figure it out later, and I didn’t look left. Didn’t even think of it again until later when I was scrolling through my pictures. Spoiler alert, it was not Grand Duke Henri. Not only that, but even worse - leaving to the left at the same time were King Carl XIV Gustaf and Crown Princess Victoria of Sweden - aka half the reason why I booked it over there (wounds and all), because Victoria is, of course, one of my favorites. I’m absolutely furious at myself - I cannot believe I wasted my eyesight on a random guy who I thought was Grand Duke Henri when CROWN PRINCESS VICTORIA was RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE!!!

So of course I didn’t get to wave or say hi to her because I didn’t even SEE HER because I am an IDIOT and I cannot stop thinking about the idea that she may have seen me waving to all of these people and saying hi and that she might think I have no idea who she is because I DO and I am so SAD that I didn’t get to say hi to her. AND I booked it all the way across London and fell and got bruised and bloodied specifically for her (see Arantxa’s post lol), and I didn’t even realize because I was looking at someone who wasn’t even the person I thought he was! And I’m far less interested in him! But here she is, with her father, proof that she was in front of me, which doesn’t really matter a lot in the grand scheme of my weekend, but I guess it’s something.

After, Crown Prince Haakon and Crown Princess Mette-Marit of Norway came out. I was SO excited to see them - the Norwegians are my next favorite royal family after the Brits, so my excited “HI HAAKON!! HI METTE-MARIT!!!” plus my frantic waving maybe have been a little too much for the average person, but Mette-Marit was totally unbothered by my nonsense! She made eye contact, smiled, laughed, AND waved back!! She was so sweet I can’t stand it. I always thought she seemed like a sweetheart but her reaction was one of the best parts of my night. They both got in the car on the other side of the street so I didn’t get to see her too closely in person but her hair is so pretty! So blonde and shiny!! Side note - have no idea if I pronounced either of their names right - ‘Met-tee Marie’? ‘Met-eh Marie’? ‘Met Mur-it’? ‘Hay-con’? Hah-con?’ - who knows, but I tried. I said “Hah-con” and “Met Marie”.

Then came (in this order) Vice Admiral Sir Timothy Laurence and Princess Anne, The Princess Royal. I about fell over when I saw Tim - the guy is HUGE! We knew this, it’s not news, but he’s about 10 feet taller than Anne. He came out solo at first and I literally gasped and yelled “TIM!! VICE ADMIRAL, HI!!!” It was definitely too much for dignified, stoic Tim lol but he did say hi out loud, didn’t really smile or nod but he did look in my general direction, no eye contact. He went back inside I guess to fetch Anne because they both came out and I absolutely lost it with Anne! “HI ANNE!! ENJOY TOMORROW!!!” She absolutely ignored me in the most Anne way possible, didn’t even flinch, I might as well have not been there at all. The most typical Anne response to a frantic American yelling her name from across the street - I’m not even upset that she outright ignored me, I almost would’ve been disappointed if she did anything more. It wouldn’t have matched the vision of her personality that’s in my head - happy we’ve been right all these years. No-nonsense Anne (and trust me, I was giving nothing but nonsense). Anne - the biggest badass on earth.

Afterwards came Crown Prince Frederik and Crown Princess Mary of Denmark. Mary is PRETTY, like so so so pretty. Her hair is absolutely stunning. I completely forgot that we usually call Frederik “Fred” and I totally butchered his name when I said hi, so it came out “HI FRED-*stutter*-RICK!” which didn’t make any sense at all, it came out as jumbled, gargled nonsense. I got it together with Mary though because I was like “MARY!!! HI!! YOU’RE SO PRETTY!! ENJOY TOMORROW!!!!!” Mary looked genuinely delighted to see me, almost like she couldn’t believe that anyone on the sidewalk had any clue who she was. Their car was a bit closer to my side of the road - more in the middle lane than the left lane - so I got such a good look at her face and we made such direct eye contact and her face like lit up!! She waved and smiled and said hello out loud and I could hear her plain as day and she was just such a bright ray of sunshine, it made my night! What an absolute sweetheart! I was so happy to see her and wave to her and have such an interaction that I literally blacked out and forgot about the pics until they got in the car and drove off so I only have the picture of the car below - you can kind of see Fred’s head through the rear window, but that’s about it.

And then The Duke and Duchess of Edinburgh, The Lady Louise Mountbatten-Windsor, and James, Earl of Wessex. I saw James through the door first and he’s just so adorable. After a few ins and outs of the door by security, Edward came out first, and at this point, I didn’t care how I looked because they’d all been so nice so far! Edward smiled, that made me happy, I feel like crowds probably don’t go crazy for him too often. And then Sophie - she outright WAVED and smiled and made eye contact, and I caught it on camera!! I told her to enjoy tomorrow and she is the only one of the bunch I remembered to call “Your Royal Highness.” She’s also so pretty. Like smiley! Happy! I didn’t say anything to James because he is a child, but I waved just in case - he kept his head down though, definitely a shy little thing. I also gently said hi to Louise (not as frantically as I did to her parents and everyone else) and she gave me like a half not-smile but that’s okay because it must have been so weird to see someone like me across the street from her.

The last group to come out with security was Princess Beatrice, Edoardo Mapelli-Mozzi, Princess Eugenie, and Jack Brooksbank. I was… mildly surprised and definitely bummed with this group. I wasn’t expecting much from Jack but I thought I’d get something out of the rest of them, some kind of smile or nod or something, but nope. I know they don’t owe me anything, but I was kind of bummed that they didn’t acknowledge anything. I even yelled my congratulations to Eugenie and Jack on their pregnancy and they didn’t flinch, but not in a fun way (like Anne). Not sure what I was expecting - maybe my expectations were different because everyone else generally seemed mildly happy to acknowledge a fan? I don’t know, but it bummed me out. As an aside, Beatrice’s hair is just as pretty in person - if not more - than it is in the photos.

So after the York princesses and their husbands left, security and the paparazzi scattered pretty quickly. I stuck around for quite a while, but when the restaurant’s security started getting into a van to leave, I went and asked one of them if Crown Princess Victoria was still in there (because, at the time, I had no clue she had already left because I am dumb). He told me nobody was left in there, so I sat down on a stoop and rambled to Arantxa about how that was the most badass day and just hung out outside for a while. I was out there for I don’t know, 15 minutes after security left? I just sat on the stoop looking at my phone and then out of nowhere I looked up and saw Mike and Zara Tindall walking out of Oswald’s! No security! And not only that, they didn’t even get into a car! They just walked down the street like it was absolutely no big deal! I was so surprised to see them - I wasn’t expecting anyone else because the security guard said nobody was left inside. So I jumped up and yelled “ZARA!! MIKE!! HI!!!” and they both waved and smiled! They then posed for a picture for someone across the street (I got the back end of it, so sweet) and just went on their merry way.

So all in all, I saw TWENTY-FIVE (25!!!!!!!) royals and royal adjacents on Friday:

Crown Prince Akishino of Japan

Crown Princess Kiko of Japan

Prince Michael of Kent

Princess Michael of Kent

King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck of Bhutan

Queen Jetsun Pema of Bhutan

Prince Andrew, The Duke of York

King Carl XIV Gustaf of Sweden

Crown Princess Victoria of Sweden

Crown Prince Haakon of Norway

Crown Princess Mette-Marit of Norway

Princess Anne, The Princess Royal

Vice Admiral Sir Timothy Laurence

Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark

Crown Princess Mary of Denmark

Prince Edward, The Duke of Edinburgh

The Duchess of Edinburgh

The Lady Louise Mountbatten-Windsor

James, The Earl of Wessex

Princess Beatrice, Mrs. Mapelli-Mozzi

Edoardo Mapelli-Mozzi

Princess Eugenie, Mrs. Brooksbank

Jack Brooksbank

Zara Tindall

Mike Tindall

That doesn’t include the coronation or any of the other incredible things and people I got to see this weekend. Just Friday night, on the side of the road, among a whopping 10 people looking to see and greet royalty from all over the world. What a wild ride. I will never see this many of them in one place ever again. It is likely I never will see any of them ever again. It is also likely that I never would have seen most of them in my lifetime. Even if I did see them at another time in this life, I never would have gotten the chance to greet them and say hi and have some form of non-verbal communication with most of them without Vanessa and Arantxa’s tip-off to head to Oswald’s and without that now-infamous sprint through St. James’ Park. I didn’t leave until midnight, with the coronation the next day, and I don’t regret it a bit. That’s a story for another time, though.

Blood, sweat, and tears, baby. Blood, sweat, and tears. I still cannot believe how lucky I was and how lucky I am. Worth it? Absolutely - worth every second. Battle wounds and all.

#katie goes to london pt. 2 #I cannot possibly tag this many of them #so #British royal family #swedish royal family #Norwegian royal family #Bhutan royal family #japanese imperial family #danish royal family #isn’t this fucking wild guys #I’ll never get over it #5/5/2023

[eyeballsoup7310]

“We need more morally grey female characters” we absolutely do but some of y’all can’t even handle Vanessa afton

#her worst trait is that she’s a cop and I can completely accept trashing her for that #but some of you guys are. wild #just talking #five nights at freddy’s #fnaf movie spoilers #fnaf movie #fnaf #vanessa afton #edit: okay clarification— disliking her is fine I can’t stop you from having that opinion and I won’t. try to #I’m more so hung up on the fact that a lot of people dislike Vanessa for one reason but love. say. Mike for the same exact reason #anywhoozie. folks who dislike Vanessa. have yall met clay burke yet #also fuck cops. quit your job girl it isn’t even plot relevant

[flumpermergen]

The state of the bsd fandom right now:

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #bsd akutagawa #akutagawa ryuunosuke #bsd nikolai #nikolai gogol #bsd sigma #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bsd spoilers #flump! #oh asagiri you silly silly guy #what’s funny is this doesn’t even include all of the fake out deaths from this arc ALONE #hell the amount of times that atsushi alone has nearly died is astounding #I get that regeneration is part of his ability but still my poor boy #this is definitely going to age very poorly at some point #aka whenever asagiri decides to kill someone off who isn’t Oda lmao #also kinda unrelated but finding the images made me remember how fucking brutal Nikolai’s first few chapters were #like he really did all that that’s wild #shout out to that one frame that just says cock

[dumpster-fire-sapphic-failgirl]

Y’all. I just realized. “Big city girl visits small town she summered in but hasn’t visited in a decade+ for a last chance meeting with a beloved caretaker and then realizes oh no her childhood bestie is Very Cute™️” is like a very Rom Com setup

Like. Ma’am. Aabria. Ma’am. How dare. (plz keep daring thank you)

#worlds beyond number #worlds beyond number spoilers #the wizard the witch and the wild one #wbn: www #suvi the wizard #ame the witch #suvi x ame #glassheart #glass heart #and Silver is the perfectly okay guy that just isn’t right for her #if Silver doesn’t turn out to be evil I hope he meets a nice wizard that is a good fit for him #i mean even if he is quote unquote evil he still probably deserves someone who shares his interests #unless he fucks with the party then he just deserves eternal sadness

[sindumpster]

Accidentally logged into my old mistake blog and only notifs I had gotten in the past year were for that one post with almost 1K notes

And I remember absolutely hating it and now I have the reminder that I really don’t crave that kind of attention anymore

#there’s no real point to this just thoughts #I’m honestly happier sharing my work with a small group of friends and getting that validation #than managing accounts and worrying about putting stuff out in the wild #downside is it enables my hermit tendencies so I’m even less inclined to post #when I do have art #…not that I’ve had new art in MONTHS #(I say having opened an art show today with my stuff in the gallery) #(it’s just not the art you guys want) #something something notes and attention isn’t everything #there’s like a certain golden zone level of attention #below it you’re sad people aren’t noticing you #above it and you feel like shit and burnt out trying to appeal to everyone #I don’t give a fuck about feeding social media and esp algorithms anymore #Forreal though mental health improved when I stepped back more and found my group #getting too much attention when I was younger fucked me up #and I’m STILL working through the damage #which I know probs sounds like bullshit to people struggling for attention/recognition #but for me it’s true. maybe improves things for others #but for me it just enabled my worst tendencies that I even got praised for

[zappedbyzabka]

Kreerence <3 (gnaws on ceiling fan)

#The way Kreese is so possessive and obsesssive about Johnny is so good #The way Kreese would not hesitate to kill someone for him. He’s so fuckin obssessed he nearly killed JOHNNY #We never see him show a soft spot unless it’s with Johnny or women….and don’t even get me started on what that implies #He would literally throw Daniel off a cliff ZERO hesitation if Johnny wanted it. He would be elated actually #Daniel is nothing more than a pest to him. it’d be like squishing a bug in his eyes #but alas Johnny isn’t into killing people. He’s still so soft at heart even after all his training #and ​still seems to LIKE Daniel (a nice guy with a good soul and gentle hands) in some ways. which is so damn annoying to Kreese #And gosh Johnny’s love for him. So wild and confused. wanting his love back and to make him happy. Make him TELL him he’s happy #Kreese was at his absolute lowest after he lost Johnny for his own actions #for hurting whats precious to him. For losing everything important #That’s why he didn’t leave Johnny alone throughout the entirety of CK #Johnny really said ‘fuck off and learn to treat me right’ #Kreese: WaH Baby no I care about you more than anyone come back— #can’t wait to see how this pathetic❤️ behaviour continues in the new season #But what would have happened if Johnny had stayed after the choking? came back the next day to Kreese who was like a bitey dog with its tai #between it’s legs. staring at the marks on Johnny’s neck with disgust. he likes leaving his marks on Johnny #Likes hurting people with no mercy—But god. not Johnny. At least Not this much. How can he possibly make it up? #He does end up making it up. Gets Johnny back by slowly allowing himself to love better #at least with Johnny. Now they cuddle on the couch together and buy each other holiday gifts #Gosh I could talk about them so much #john kreese #kreerence #tw possessive behavior #tw unhealthy relationship #Turned healthy

[rito-luvr]

I Swear. To Fucking Hylia if i see ONE more person call Teba boring…

I will just Lose. It.

#botw champions #breath of the wild #teba #HE ISN’T BORING YOU GUYS ARE #what the fuck #i quit #i give up

[notveryshrugemoji]

I just caught myself smiling at my phone and I was like “meg the stallion would not approve of this behaviour. knock it off.” lol

#he’s from New Zealand and like I dunno but he wants to go camping and thinks I’m cool #actually scratch all of that #all of those things are true and also #i haven’t felt like the panic I associate with a new person in my life lol #friend or otherwise there’s this weird period where I’m just like fucking batty and paranoid lol #the jokes honestly write themselves I am a trope it’s so boring #like girlie it’s a disorganized attachment style pull it together lol #but that panic feeling isn’t there and maybe that’s him or maybe that’s the personal work I’ve done #anyway I love talking shit about dating here it’s the only place I share EVERYTHING hahahhahaha #like my sister knows less than you guys that’s wild lol #anyway love ya the most kisses!!!!

[roylustang]

went to fucking packet pickup and not only met ultrarunning legend Scott Jurek I also met one of my fave YouTubers who’s dating and pacing another amazing ultrarunner and also Scott jureks wife is being paced by the lead singer for death cab for cutie who I forgot was also an ultrarunner and anyway I died. I also helped translate for a Japanese guy who didn’t speak any English. Shits wild out here y’all

#Jenny Jurek said we’re FRIENDS and I have photographic proof lmfao #also it was so wild I was driving thru Colorado and I was like ‘youtube guy lives here what if I see him’ so #I started Looking at everyone in Colorado who was riding a bike #AND THEN I FUCKING MET HIM AT PACKET PICKUP AAAHHHHHH shit was fucking insane #I’ve seen or met in person like 4 YouTubers I watch regularly #and many accomplished ultrarunners #maddie’s misadventures #Wyoming isn’t real #running

[thehmn]

Does it seem weird that people treat cats like they’re wild animals to anyone else? And by that I don’t mean people expect cats to survive on their own in the wild. I mean people act like pet cats who have owners are wild animals that the owners aren’t responsible for. And I’m not talking about cat owners specifically. A lot of people who doesn’t have any pets at all act like cats are wild animals (which might be why so many people treat them like wild animals that can be hurt with no consequences)

I never thought about that until a few years ago when someone in the town Facebook group asked who owned a cat that kept jumping in through his windows. It was summer so he couldn’t keep his windows closed (we don’t use air conditioning in this country) and he had a terrible allergy to cats so it was legit dangerous for him to have a cat running around his house.

People started offering solutions like “buy this spray that deters cats” and “you can buy this rolling thing for the top of your fence” but his response was “Okay but why am I expected to spend all this money to keep someone’s pet out? Who owns this cat!?” When he didn’t get an answer he eventually got a friend to pick the cat up when it was in his house and he drove it to a shelter, and informed the Facebook group which shelter. Suddenly the owner responded, angry that he’d do such a thing! Getting the cat back would cost money! But the guy was like where the fuck were you when I asked who the cat belonged to!? I was trying to avoid this!

I was honestly surprised by how many people were on the side of the cat’s owner. Another cat owner on our street isn’t responsible enough to keep her cat indoors but responsible enough to at least buy stuff for other people if her cats bother them. She practically have a small stach of cat deterrent spray she hands out to the neighbors who doesn’t want cats in their garden.

The whole thing really made me realize how strange it is that cats are the only pets where we expect other people to spend their money on building fences to keep them out instead of the owners trying to keep them in, as if they were wild animals with no owner to look after them.

#humontalks #random thoughts #cats

[screampied]

MONEY HONEY! — ☆ GOJO SATORU.

➤ popstar!gojo masterlist

headline. fucking your client wasn’t on your bucket list. the famous popstar 'toru' says he can’t perform because of issues he’s having with his voice. but he finds another way to warm up his vocal cords—it involves being between your legs.

word count. 4.2k

warnings. fem! reader, popstar!gojo, pwp, unprotected sex, modern au, he's a whiney brat, overstim, degradation, praise, semi public, impact play, cunnilingus, fingering.

an. lol this was fun 2 write !! ty @osaemu as always for beta'ing

“…nono, you don’t understand. i can’t go out there, i just…can’t—!” gojo mutters, and he’s pacing back and forth. talk about a drama queen. to think you had to deal with this every day, being the infamous satoru gojo’s personal assistant was never an easy task. his attire was…quite enthralling to say the least. gojo was draped up in a sheeny black one-piece with rhinestones attached in a few places, he always had his outfits designed a certain way. not too tight, not too big.

you sat on the sofa, taking a sip of a latte he bought you as a thanks for saving him to deal with the hoards of paparazzi that practically lived outside the stadium back-way entrance.

“satoru, you do this before every show,” you sigh, glancing at him. you couldn’t lie to yourself, he was strikingly handsome. gojo’s hair was a tad bit messy and ruffled. it was a slight v-cut towards his chest to show a bit of skin. his fangirls always went wild over the most minimal things such as that. “you do realize you’re supposed to be performing in front of 10,000 people? canceling right before a show isn’t a good l—”

“i know…i know,” he pouts, and he’s so unserious, you sort of found it hard to believe this was a millionaire pop star who’s such a household name. gojo lets off a loud sigh before walking towards you with a sheepish grin. “these cough drops you’ve been givinʼ me haven’t done shit.”

“really...” you deadpan, casually giving him nothing but a sly eye roll.

gojo sulks and he’s just a few feet apart from you now. “mhm…really,” he says, and the slight rasp in his voice catches your attention. his earpiece was still on, as well with his mic that hung just barely underneath his chin. “i did research though. about other methods that help with heh, um vocal fry..”

you stare up at the popstar, and he’s returning the gaze…as if he was trying to hide the smile that was already forming against his pink lips. you don’t give him an answer and this time, he’s the one to roll his eyes.

“…well since you asked so nicely,” he grumbles, the same pout going against his face before he pulls out his phone. gojo scrolls a thumb down against his bright screen before clearing his throat. “hm, according to this totally accurate article, it says… to fully recover from vocal fry, a guy must uh, receive a special treat within a woman’s—”

you blankly stare at him, already second-guessing his fake response. “just say you want to eat me out, satoru.”

“wha— where’d you get that impression?” he plays dumb, furrowing his eyebrows and cowardly looks around the room. a few seconds go by before he shrugs, speaking quickly, defeated. “….fine i wanna eat you out. hmph.”

you turn your head for a brief moment, hearing the defending roars of the crowd just a few areas down from the dressing room the two of you currently stayed in. “maybe after your show, they're chanting for y—”

“they can wait,” he frowns, and he turns you around, two hands softly holding onto your shoulders. gojo remained with a pout, bottom lip just slightly tucking underneath the top one. “i can’t.”

the both of you grow quiet for a long moment, and gojo seems serious—dramatic, but serious. you and him both exchanged sensual eye contact, and you were so close to gojo that you could practically smell the strong cinnamon scent of his intoxicating cologne. the popstar smooths his lips together before briefly shifting his eyes down at the floor and then back up at you. 

“five minutes…five minutes, that isn't too long is it?” he stammers, and the gaze the two of you made starts to get more and more intense. “i won’t get into too much trouble if it's just five minutes right?”

“you’re insufferable.” you mumble, letting off a soft sigh. “okay, five minutes. if you say this helps with your—vocal whatever.”

not much to your surprise, five minutes turned into half an hour. 

you held back a moan the sudden second you felt gojo’s warm tongue swiftly lap against your drenched folds. he made you wriggle against him, and you maintained a rough grip against the laid-back sofa.

“s-satoru,” you’d whimper out, gasping at how sloppy he was. you were prompt up in such a position to where you were bent over the arm part of the couch, skirt lifted, fishnets just barely pulled down, and the most vulgar expression. “oh my g-goddd, you're gonna make the others outside h-hear.”

“you’ll just have to be a little more quiet, assistant,” he whispers, cool breath fanning against your pussy. perhaps this was unprofessional, no it was very unprofessional. a plethora of following consequences started to race through your mind. “what time is it?”

you moaned, reaching near the wooden half table for his watch and read the time, “um.. quarter past eight.”

“aw man,” he sulks, softly licking the your tender pulsating numb with the very tip of his tongue. with a quick second, he maneuvers circles all over your clit to feel you squirm and jitter against him. “that much time passed? can’t stand rushing…”

as you cling onto the fluffed couch, your black pencil skirt that was just sluggishly raised up and yet, you continued to gnaw the inside of your lip from the feelings of his tongue, entirely sloppy.

the slurps that exited from his mouth had your bottom lip quivering in such desire. you craved more, the way he swirled and curved the length of his tongue throughout your pussy earned umpteen gasps and whines from you. 

“s—satoru,” you’d croak out, and he’s casually taking the time to make out with your folds. languidly, your slick race down his chin, and between breaks to breathe, he'd lap up his tongue before diving back in. “fuck, ‘m gonna cum again, think ‘m gonna cum..”

“wait a little longer, yeah?” he murmurs, grabbing the fat of your ass with two rough hands. you felt bundles of butterflies stir inside your stomach, feeling gojo’s nose swipe against your folds for a few jiffs. “let me eat, haven't had a good meal all fuckin’ day.”

you swallowed, not even facing him but you could practically see the grin stretching across his lips. “and…and who’s fault was that?”

he chuckles, warm breath fanning against your cunt. “okay, you have a point,” and your thighs feel feverish—you’re so hot, and not because of the sudden humidity wafting around the small dressing room.

the popstar lolls out his tongue, humming before you moan, feeling him lick your pussy in a straight direction. “mhm, this is better than anything else though.”

you were about to speak, but all that did was make you let out a shaky whine. the smooth pads of his thumbs graze against both parts of your ass as he continued to eat you out like a starved man. it was as if time stood still, your mouth grew exceedingly dry and your legs felt like they could barely stand up on their own. 

“sa..satoru,” you once more repeated, not knowing how long you could last. simply, his tongue was dangerous—god, it was just the way he moved it in every direction.

he knew where to lick, where to suck, and even nibble. gojo found himself tickling his tongue against your little nub before sucking on it. all to hear you cry out in desperation. cacophonies of whimpers depart from your glossed lips such as, ‘satoru,’ ‘please-please,’ and ‘m gonna c-cum.’

there was no denying, gojo had you an entire stammering mess. you found yourself even questioning how this became, the two of you were never intimate. although, there's always been steamy moments between the two of you. 

for instance, there was a moment where gojo took you with him to the hot springs while he was on tour…which non-surprisingly led to a hot make-out sesh. that was a few months ago, and the two of you decided to not think much of it. of course though, there are always assumptions being made about the two of you—always from the nosy journalists and interviewers. 

each interview, it’d always be questions they’d ask about the precious little assistant that’s essentially attached by the hip to the famous gojo satoru.

“are you and that girl exclusive yet?”

“how long have you two seen each other?”

“please. describe to us. what’s she like in b—”

they’d get more perverted each time. alas, gojo always loathed it whenever the press referred to you as ‘that’ girl.

his jaw would always clench in sheer annoyance. perhaps he didn't have the right to feel that way, but he was somewhat protective over you. it wasn't like you were his bodyguard or anything clearly, but still. he always liked how you treated him just like you’d treat anyone else.

“satoru..” you'd cut him off from his deep thoughts. “your phone keeps beeping.”

“huuuuh?” he grouches, ears perking at the annoying screech of his device. gojo’s thumbs remain against both edges of your ass before he breaks off his lips, a long string of his own saliva running down your slit. “oh, can you hand it to me?”

he's so nonchalant, and with your back still arched, you lightly fling his phone towards him.

he grumbles.

picking up the phone, typing in his twenty one digit passcode of ‘sexymansexyspraycan69’ before with a click, it unlocks. gojo darts his eyes towards his phone and hums at the five messages left from his manager, kento nanami. 

‘Greetings. Where are you? Message me Ass.’

‘ASAP. Autocorrect.’

‘Your fans think your dead.’

‘Don’t tell me you're busy with that assistant of yours again.’

‘When your sales start going low, don't blame me.’

and many more unread, “blah blah yeah yeah,” gojo murmurs, skimming through the loads of unread gray bubbled messages. “nothing important. geez, can't have a single moment to myself.”

you were so close to orgasming and that's when gojo flips you over to face him—you're panting and he flashes you a soft smile, leaning in to kiss your forehead. “aw, waiting for me?” he whispers, bringing a gentle kiss towards the inner corner of your neck. his touch was immensely warm, something you just couldn't describe. “you wanna cum don't you, baby?

“m-mhmm.” was all you could manage out, wrapping your arms around him as he got right between you. gojo continues to trail kisses down your neck before chuckling. 

“use those words, c’mon. don't be shy. i wanna hear ya tell me what you want.”

the way he was such a tease, you couldn't stand him, then again you could. so annoying, gojo’s warmth of his performing outfit brushed against your skin. the perfectly knitted fabric of it dancing against your skin as he inched closer towards you. “tell me how much of a messy girl you wanna be.”

“i—” you started, and he took a moment to stare into your eyes. gojo looked so pretty, smug yes, but pretty. long lashes each time he blinked, fluttering against him. whenever he showcased that well-known cheeky smile of his, his dimples would poke right against his lips. “i-i wanna cum. please, lemme cum, ‘toru..”

“pretty girllll wants to cummmm,” he sings in a  playful melodic tune. again, you couldn't stand him. singing right in the middle of something so intimate. gojo runs a hand down your buttoned-up shirt before chuckling. “hm, i suppose. go ahead, let go fʼr me.”

once you do, immediately your vision turns dizzy. all you saw was a few blotches of white, and it feels so good that the feelings have you biting down on your lip. gojo leans into your neck, whispering sweet nothings against you while giving your ass a soft caress.

“good girl, just let go…yeah,” he purrs, giving your collarbone a gentle suck. you taste so sweet to him. you're addicting, simple as that. like candy he can't get enough of.

gojo satoru had a sweet tooth for you, there was no doubt about it. “fuck, i can just suck on you all day,” he utters in a low voice, and his warm hands part your thighs so he can get a bit more between you. “i need more…fuck the fans, i need you.”

“idiot, don’t say that..” you moan, and he's kissing all down the crevices of your neck again. gojo’s lips against your tender skin gave you chills. even still, you were so hot, from the neck down. it felt amazing, the feeling of him sucking and kissing against your skin to such a point that you're just throbbing. “t-they’re waiting for you.”

“they can keep waiting,” he smiles, leaning down to kiss near your chest, moving the exclusive backstage lanyard pass away with a slight grip. “damn, you don't know how hard i’ve been during rehearsal. i—i think about you, you know?”

you gawk up at him as his body towers over you, his costume glimmers in the light before he starts to peel it off carefully. you were taken by surprise so you mutter, “you…you do?”

“well yeah girl,” he rolls his eyes, such sass in his tone, following with the low rasp that hid underneath his voice. “you drive me crazy in the worst way.”

“the feeling’s mutual, popstar.” you utter, a glint in your eye.

“hmpf. now that i was nice enough to let you cum, you decide to be a brat, huh?” he raises a brow, using two fingers to brush his mic piece aside. 

a coyish grin goes against your lips. “sorry. are you gonna do anything about it?”

“…shut up..” he grumbles, and he does. 

pretty much, you then found yourself on your hands and knees on the couch, feeling gojo caress your ass briefly before meeting the mounds of your skin with a mean spank.

you suck in shortened breath. “ooh,” he says as you moan in unison of the light thwack. “you get off on spanks, huh?” he utters in a grouse, the feeling of his palm kissing against your skin making you continuously pulse. 

“n-no.” you spat. 

“liar,” he matches your snarky tone, and you let off a gasp once you feel him finally rub the tip of his dick against your folds. gojo grows abnormally quiet the minute your slick coats his length freely. “fuckkk,” he sighs, eyes closing for a short second. you teasingly wriggled your ass against him and he spanks you again. “you’re so impatient, wait.”

“do you even know how to fuck?” you slip out, and you held back a giggle. perhaps you shouldn't have said that, your thoughts did speak way more than they should anyway. 

gojo’s eyebrows curl into a furrow, and his voice genuinely sounds offended. “wha—?! of course i  do.”

“just asking.” you tease. 

“just asking,” he mocks your tone, completely butchering it purposely and gojo slowly starts to make his way inside of your tight pussy. he's gradually moving himself in, and you let off a moan before he continues, “yeah. shut the f-fuck up.”

a small grin stretches against your lips, because you hear how gojo stutters whilst sinking inches into you. even while trying to be mean and degrading, he was so close to moaning himself. it was simply adorable. you maintained a mere pristine arch while biting the inside of your cheek once more. 

“you're s-so wet ‘n sloppy,” he huffs out a groan, and the squelches your pussy made against him was simply enticing. for a second, you grew mute once you gave your own body a listen. just the faint sounds of gojo’s jagged breathing, “f-fuck, ‘s good. keep facing that way, just like that. good.”

gojo’s touch against your spine was purely gossamer. 

he was soft, gentle, delicate.

yet the minute he started to create a pace with his rollicked hips, he couldn't contain himself. the way his dick probed throughout your walls, you kissed your teeth in longing—just for him to just hurry.

gojo was always such a tease, the fat plump head of his cock dabbing against your pussy. 

“s-stop playing and just put it in.” you moaned, growing impatient by the mile. 

“heh, you know what they say,” he mumbles, you pulse even more once you feel him slide in about a single inch or two…only to then go right back out. “patience is a virgin.”

“…it’s virtue.”

“that’s what i sai—”

“just fuck me.” you whined. 

gojo giggles, and finally, he starts up his slovenly pace again. he grips onto your hips before sighing. he takes note of the way you progressively suck him in.

you linger over the couch, the fabric of your own pencil skirt just hovering over your waist before gojo starts to sway his hips. 

you had to stop yourself from being so noisy, executives were probably in the other room.

some kind of meeting perhaps occurring, yet here you were, happily entangled with your client. such thick inches he was dumping into you had nearly drooling. gojo’s base was rotund and fat, thwacking and thwacking against you to where you're so dizzy. 

“f-fuck, ‘toru.. ‘s good.” you whined, every few seconds he’d smack your ass to watch your ass jiggle with such recoil. it was one of his favorite moments to witness. as your lips stuck together, your thighs already felt weak and tremulous. 

“damn girl…didn't expect you to s-start throwin’ yourself back again me,” he sibilates, and for a concise moment his head goes back. a groan flies past his glossed pink lips as your ass continued to thrash against him. “you're such a needy girl. tryna…f-fuck me back..”

the way his voice unintentionally got low whenever he was in such a trance had you throbbing, such convulses making you nearly weak in the knees.

to you, the feeling was indescribable. such pools of heat ran between your legs the more his thrusts picked up.

his dick reached every spot, so much so being precise—you felt the curve of his length analyze all throughout your inner walls. it didn't miss a spot, he reached deep and you let off the cutest whimper. “god, r-right there. please, ‘toru. y-your curve, ‘s reaching me deep.”

“you f-flatter me,” he pants, trying to ignore his flusteredness. gojo’s right hand, the hand that had a half-cut open glitter glove that coordinated alongside his outfit ghosts against your ass. his lip quivers from his pace, and the way your pussy just sucks him dry, a few splotches of pre-cum cutely coated against the outer part of your ass. “fuck, dunno how much i can take with you movin’ your ass against me like that…shit, shit.”

“…s-satoru,” you breathed, biting down on your arm to suppress your moans a bit. not before long, he deepens the angle and you feel his sharped hips piston in utter contentment. “fuck, f-fuck. ‘s deep.”

gojo groans, swallowing the nonexistent lump in his throat before he feels himself coming close.

“think you’re gonna m-milk me dry,” he gasps, jerk after jerk his hips go against you at full throttle. the base of his dick, you hear the pap pap pap noises commence, and it’s so obscene. “shit, think ‘m in love,” and then you grow hot. it’s a long inelegant pause before he adds to his words, “…i-in love with your pussy.”

you were gonna comment something, but you were too fucked dumb to comprehend anything. you’re basically being fucked stupid into the cushioned sofa. the cottony bristles of the fabric went against your skin as your body lurched forward each time. 

splaying at an almost animalistic pace, gojo’s ears, the very tips of them at least grow incredibly hot, you’re making his body heat up, scorching. the way your pussy tightly hugged around him like a vice, he was obsessed.

he just couldn’t get enough. to think this was the first time he’s been this intimate with you—oh, how he could only imagine what it’d be like for a second time, or a third time, or a…

“s-satoru, your phone’s ringing..”

he grunts, glancing down to see the bright-lit screen display, and this time it’s geto. with an eye roll, he ignores it, still gripping your hips, he’s attaining his peak before he lets off a husky groan. “f-fuck, ‘m gonna cum.. can i—?”

“y-yes, jus’ do it, ‘toru,” you spoke, not even letting him finish his sentence—you knew what he was gonna ask though if he could shoot inside. you were so drunk from his dick, thoughts on your mind were straight mush. 

“okay, okay,” he breathes, and even his moans were pretty. figures, gojo was a soprano, so he was bound to sound angelic, even while moaning his head off. it had the perfect pitch to it, such rasp in it, almost breathy. 

you feel gojo’s pelvic bone thrust a bit more at a quickened pace, accelerating just a bit more and his nerves were just going wild. “fuck, f-fuck..” he grunts, and he starts to grow a bit whiney, his sloppy hits against your rear made out to be a tad bit voluntary, rhythm a bit more expedite, and he clenched his jaw. 

once gojo came, it's so much.

thick ropes that seeped right into you. you moan, and he pauses his hips just to watch, feeling himself pouring all inside. velvety ropes of the popstar’s cum fills you up to the brim. you're panting, he's panting, and gojo was in love.

was it love? he didn't know, but his pupils were dilated for sure. 

his breath hitches once he slowly pulls out, watching his own cum slowly spill out between your folds and he lets off a moan. “made me fuck such a mess into you,” he spouts, running a thumb down your slit to watch you cutely jounce against his touch. 

“you ruined my panties.” you whined, turning over to face him—gojo leans in for a kiss, and you return the favor, tasting yourself once more on his lips. the sweetened taste of your own slick that still remained all over his tongue. 

“baby, it's not like you need them,” he rasps, grabbing ahold of you, and he positions you to get on his lap. “besides, i was gonna ask to keep them.”

“why?” you mumble, wrapping your arms around his neck, slipping off a moan at his already sensitive tip hovering against your entrance as you realigned yourself. 

timidly, he runs a hand down his neck. “y’know. for uh…good luck? was gonna keep them in my pocket or something.”

“you're so—”

“shhh.” he hums, interrupting your words for another tender kiss. your tongue slides against his, and he tastes minty.

as his breath collides against yours, you playfully bite down on his lip. gojo grunts, and he’s making your way inside again. gingerly, you sink down against his thick base and he gives your ass a mean squeeze before spanking it once you start to move. 

“oh f-fuck…fuck, forgot how sensitive-” he hiccups, watching with half-lidded eyes at your hips rotating against him in an orderly fashion. you moan from his pleasure, taking a second to swallow before whimpering—softly, you kiss against his neck and he grunts. “you-you make me feel so good, baby.”

gojo’s almost at a lost for words, he’s had his fair share of women, but none could make him feel like this.

besides, he's never had the time. touring day in and day out was a hassle, and intimacy was a straight no due to his overly busy schedule. 

although, whilst the two of you were screwing around, making out and you're riding him cowgirl, that’s right when the wooden creaky door bursts open.

not to anyone’s surprise, it's no one other than gojo’s best friend and bassist, suguru geto.

“you've got to be joking,” he utters with crossed arms, immediately darting his eyes away. “everyone’s been calling you, there's a search party, and—”

geto pauses, tilting his head. “…is that my clothes you're wearing, satoru?”

“suguru…hey man,” gojo gasps, nervous laughter following his tone—you jump in surprise, and he wraps an arm around your waist. “i’m… kinda of busy here.”

“i don't give a fuck,” he grumbles. “by the way. your mic was on the entire time. you moan like a girl more than her.”

gojo’s eyes widen, reaching for the tiny button near the edge of his mic.

indeed, the switch was turned on and he awkwardly laughed, bringing the speaking part up to his lips.

“eheh…hey mic check?” and he could hear himself echo through the ear piece. embarrassing.

despite you still being inside, you just sat there—geto staring away, not even trying to comprehend what was happening before gojo coos out a subtle cheeky, “uh…i didn't know my mic was on. my bad.”

“you're so stupid...” you run a hand against your forehead in disbelief. an entire stadium practically heard the both of you. 

the heels of geto turned before gojo brings a finger against your lips to shush, and he pouts. “sugu wait,”

“what.” he mutters, turning back around. 

“wanna join…? don't think a few more minutes wouldn't hurt…r-right?”

“…….”

#★vegasbaby. #popstar!gojo #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru smut #gojo smut #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #satoru gojo x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x you #female reader #anime smut #anime x reader #gojo x y/n #tw sex #gojou satoru x reader

[astonmartinii]

i love him, it's ruining my life [guilty as sin part one] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader

a contract ends, a relationship is exposed and even with everything on the line, she still loves him.

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 621,099 others

yourusername: out and about town

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user1: girl? girl? GIRL?

user2: carlos' career is DEAD AND SHE'S POSTING VACATION PICS ON INSTAGRAM

user3: at least they're cute instagram pics

landonorris: y/n i think it's time you finally take that phone off of do not disturb

yourusername: but that's the perpetual state of my phone i am a poet i was born to be in the woods, if you have news tell me now before i close this app in 20 seconds

landonorris: i don't want to air your brother's business out in a public instagram comments literally just scroll through your timeline idiot

yourusername: wait let me open the family group chat

yourusername: WHAT

user4: are we about to see her reaction to carlos losing his seat in real time?

user5: let me grab my popcorn one sec

yourusername: WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?

landonorris: take your phone off DND for once in your life and maybe you’d be clued in on the news

charles_leclerc: and while you’re at it reply to all the tiktoks i sent you

landonorris: not the time leclerc

charles_leclerc: but but but my tiktoks… i finally got a tarot card reading that resonates

landonorris: NOT THE TIME

charles_leclerc: don’t hate the player hate the game

carlossainz55: really?

charles_leclerc: i am TALKING ABOUT TIKTOKS LEAVE ME ALONE

yourusername: this is a lot - gosh can’t a girl go on holiday without everything imploding (i'll check the tiktoks in a second)

user6: anyone kinda weirded out that charles is just here joking with y/n as if his teammate and her brother hasn’t just been forced out of a job?

liked by carlossainz55

user7: babe he wasn’t forced out of a job, his contract wasn’t renewed. the last time i checked this was a sport where they compete not sit around and sit kumbaya

liked by charles_leclerc

user8: oh! they’re both liking shady comments already, it’s been a day since the announcement

user9: this is gonna get ugly isn’t it?

user10: awful, truly. i’m sat.

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 1,029,458 others

carlossainz55: love all, trust a few and do wrong to none

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user11: .... right, what ever the fuck that means?

user12: i mean i was just here to celebrate the win what is all this poetry

user11: are we shading charles? lewis? ferrari?

yourusername: shakespeare, really?

carlossainz55: i can read you know

yourusername: oh really, that's news to me

user13: erm you guys i thought the whole job loss thing was meant to bring the family together....

user14: they joke like this all the time this is just sibling banter

user15: idk it's reading a lil more tense than usual, not that there's any reason for that (that we know of)

charles_leclerc: doing the tifosi proud ❤️

carlossainz55: will do while i can

user16: yall .... what happened to the chemistry

user17: they were never friends - pierre tried to tell yall

landonorris: a carlando podium !!! lets do this every week

carlossainz55: golf buddies and podium buddies - you love to see it

landonorris: LETS GO WILD AND PUT IT ON FERRARIS TAB THEY OWE YOU

landonorris: i mean let's celebrate your triumph good pal!

user18: the PR monster got lando :( rip

carlossainz55: just being able to win in front of the most important people in my life is enough

user19: does anyone else think it was weird that y/n wasn't at the race?

user20: like y/n loves australia she litr says that she was an aussie in a past life...

user21: also the most recent carlos comment... is y/n not one of the most important people in his life?

user22: do we think something has happened? like maybe he thought she should've cut her holiday short to come home to support him?

user23: also the fact that her and charles were immediately like joking around with each other? maybe it just rubbed him the wrong way

user24: but not even considering her an important person to him? and also that just seems like he's shifting all the blame to charles when it's ferrari who haven't extended the contract

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 892,309 others

tagged: kellypiquet & yourusername

maxverstappen1: she says she's a professional third wheel, i call that being a LEECH

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user29: unlikely trio but somehow my favourite

user30: y/n really be their overgrown child

yourusername: how am i the leech when i paid for the ice cream mr millionaire 🤨

maxverstappen1: ever thought about how i want to spend quality time with my girlfriend?

yourusername: won't someone think of the children

maxverstappen1: ur 23

yourusername: that's it! p and i are unionising against this if you find suspiciously well drawn crayon graffiti on your walls it was NOT me

maxverstappen1: don't threaten my walls if you still want to come to races

yourusername: low blow 😩

user31: does that mean... she's not going to races with carlos?

user32: she's always been in his garage tho like even with how close her and max have always been SHE'S ALWAYS IN GARAGE 55

user33: i feel like this has something to do with the whole seat situation i'm not sure how but like i think there's something weird going on here

kellypiquet: don't worry @yourusername it might be max's house but it's p that has the final say

yourusername: no one gets bluey like i do

maxverstappen1: yeah but while you're here you get the best seat at the tea party IT'S NOT FAIR

yourusername: well one of us can name all the disney princesses and one of us can't

user34: so.... y/n is living with max? but i thought her and carlos shared an apartment in madrid?

user35: guys i'm so confused

user36: we need the twitter detectives on this asap

charles_leclerc: no lec... when i specifically sent you a PR bundle, you hate to see it

maxverstappen1: you only sent that to us for y/n

charles_leclerc: maybe! but i have it on good authority that you loved the vanilla

maxverstappen1: ummmmmmm no i'm a professional athlete, y/n ate all of it

yourusernames: FALSEHOODS

charles_leclerc: i know who i believe

maxverstappen1: why is everyone ganging up on me in this comment section

user37: charles sending lec to max's house just for y/n WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN

user38: and does it have anything to do with carlos maybe kicking her out

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 673,892 others

yourusername: gotta make sure i give p a reason to tell me stick around

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user39: charles is always in the likes before me and i have notifications on

user40: they seem like such close friends it's so annoying that they're never spotted together at a race and we have no pictures of them :(

charles_leclerc: why do i never get any baked goods i literally sent my ice cream to my arch rivals house just for you

yourusername: you're never in the fucking country that's why

charles_leclerc: i have this kind of demanding job i don't know if you knew

yourusername: i also have the demanding job of being sexy and i cope just fine

charles_leclerc: i heard you got employee of the year, hard to be too upset when you're the competition

yourusername: better luck next time babe

user41: openly flirting with the guy that caused her brother to lose his job, this girl is just shameless

yourusername: do you think charles is the literal ceo of ferrari?

user42: why are you defending charles more than your actual brother?

yourusername: i feel like i gotta make this statement every three buisness days on here but like you people don't know what happens in our personal lives and i can defend my friends if i feel they're being unnecessarily questioned

user43: queen snapped omg

user38: they always be out here trying her like she's not a writer and poet SHE WILL READ YOU FOR FILTH

maxverstappen1: pretty sure she'd replace you with me in like two seconds so you're safe until [redacted] gets home

yourusername: i'm pretty sure with the right campaign i could sway jimmy and sassy to my side as well

user44: who the FUCK IS REDACTED

maxverstappen1: wouldn't you like to know 🤨

yourusername: max ???

maxverstappen1: what? i didn't have friends growing up i like that you tell me secrets

yourusername: oh :(

maxverstappen1: you wanna tell me more?

yourusername: NO YOU ALREADY KNOW THE BIGGEST ONE

maxverstappen1: true 💅🏻

user45: so like the secret is defo a relationship right?

user46: do we think carlos knows?

user47: by the fact that he's not in these comments... probably not

user48: so like he looses his seat and finds out his sister is in a secret relationship? someone give the guy a break

user49: or maybe, just maybe, there's a reason that y/n hasn't told carlos and he's not the guy we all think he is

liked by charles_leclerc

user50: OH? this war is so on ....

f1teaspill

liked by user51, user52 and 31,845 others

tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc

f1teaspill: the war at ferrari is heating up... turns out there's a lot carlos didn't know and FOR YEARS. yes, you're reading that right, y/n sainz and charles leclerc have been in a relationship for at least two years and believe us we have a VERY credible source like WITHIN THE FAMILY level source.

the most important thing about this whole relationship is how carlos did not know for years, so how much more was hidden from him? did y/n know about the seat swap for lewis? was she leaking strategies to charles? was she sabotaging her own brother?

view all comments

user53: OH SHITTTTTTTTTT

user54: cancel me if you will but i think the hottest couple in f1 just dropped

user55: the fact we've been robbed of content of them for years .... i'm angry I NEED THE POETRY ABOUT CHARLES

user56: i'm gonna need y/n or charles to drop all the pics in response

user57: y'all a source "within the family"? did these fools find out about y/n's relationship and immediately run to an f1 TEA PAGE???

user58: that's some goofy ass shit

user59: i find it funny that instead of sitting down and thinking about why their daughter/sister didn't feel comfortable enough to tell you about her relationship they're like i know EXACTLY who needs to hear this

user60: the way it's proved her completely right to not tell them

user61: do you guys think this is like a tv show or like fan fiction? in what world is y/n sharing strategies to fuck over her own BROTHER?

user62: also be for fucking real... strategies? ferrari? at least try and be realistic

user63: also.... walk with me .... why would y/n and charles conspire to put lewis hamilton in carlos' seat? LEWIS FUCKING HAMILTON AND SEVEN TIME WORLD CHAMPION? WHY WOULD CHARLES WANT TO TAKE HIM ON OVER A GUY HE'S ALREADY BEATEN TWICE

user64: see this is the point! sainz camp you can try and demonise charles and yOUR OWN DAUGHTER all you want but we all know it's bull shit

user65: one thing about this that really rubs me the wrong way is that the sainz camp clearly expected that if y/n was in a relationship with charles that she would've been a double agent for carlos? and because she's not fucking insane they're now going for character assassination of their own SISTER/DAUGHTER

user66: THIS THIS THIS

user67: carlos won't even consider y/n an "important" person in his life but expect her to sacrifice or exploit her relationship for cheap psychological points

user68: also y/n isn't even at most races so how is she getting carlos' strategies to give to charles? this shit doesn't make any sense

user69: carlos himself has said in an interview that y/n is useless when it comes to racing that she's just a supportive figure rather than someone who has any in depth racing knowledge

user70: this is insane level hating with all the evidence out here... and against your own family...

user71: this just makes me think that y/n wasn't in australia for a reason - like was she banned from carlos' garage

user72: and the fact she's been staying at max's it just makes me think that y/n was kicked out of her and carlos' apartment

user73: now tHATS INSANE

espnf1

liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 1,025,788 others

tagged: carlossainz55, charles_leclerc & yourusername

espnf1: well... this could be awkward

view all comments

user77: espn babe you're just like me

user78: *slides $5 across the bar* get a camera in the ferrari garage?

espnf1: we're working on it 😩

user79: pierre and max here... they really are the paddock gossip girls

maxverstappen1: i guess carlos couldn't handle that i knew who redacted was before him 🤷🏻‍♂️

carlossainz55: really?

maxverstappen1: don't put your sister on the streets and i won't dunk these jokes on your head

user80: is this like the official f1 civil war?

carlossainz55: you don't know anything max, i'd really keep your nose out of our business

maxverstappen1: i actually know exactly how you guys move, you tried it on 17 year old me and it becomes my business when my best friend calls me with no where else to go (also i know you changed the locks while you were in maranello so she wouldn't be able to go to charles, you're not slick)

carlossainz55: i never took you as a lap dog max

yourusername: calling him the lap dog when you're the biggest bitch on the grid - bold

carlossainz55: you're burning a lot of bridges for a talentless slut who had to start fucking my teammate when we cut you off

yourusername: keep throwing your PR to the fire and see who fucking hires you, i guess we'll both be unemployed bums

user80: also imagine calling her talentless like she isn't a well established poet LOL

user81: guys this is getting so bad so quickly

user82: we got the whole rest of the season of this

user83: mad respect to max for sticking up for his bestie

user84: and her actual boyfriend isn't?

yourusername: charles will do his talking on the track like he always does. he won't debase himself with bickering in instagram comments, funnily enough ferrari don't like that - might be the reason he still has a seat and someone doesn't

carlossainz55: or he's a pussy who has his woman talk for him

yourusername: at least he has a woman to talk for him, he doesn't behind his dad at any sign of trouble. i've always known i didn't matter to dad the moment i wasn't a boy but i'm not afraid of him or you and i know exactly how you work. good luck

user85: do they know we can all read this?

user86: when i'm in an oversharing contest and the sainz siblings walk in

user87: those ferrari debriefs are gonna be AWKWARD

yourusername: especially since he doesn't have binotto to hide behind any more

user88: girl you good?

yourusername: i've never been better, this has been building for years even before charles and i got together

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 908,487 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: i love you, it's ruining my life

view all comments

user89: y/n i'm gonna let you finish but we could really get the best poetry out of all of this

user90: for real like yeah i'm sorry your brother tried to make you homeless, exposed your relationship, accused you of treason and called you a talentless slut - but think of the poetry!

charles_leclerc: i love you and i hope you're okay

yourusername: i'll always be okay with you

charles_leclerc: it's out now and no one can take us away from each other

charles_leclerc: i'd actually love to see them try

yourusername: i'd go through this fortnight of hell over and over again if it meant i'd still keep you

charles_leclerc: i'd like to say this is the end of it but i think we're in for the long run now

yourusername: i'm prepared to go to war for you

charles_leclerc: there's no one i'd rather be on the front lines with

user91: oh brother... YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A POET WE GET IT

charles_leclerc: * in love with

user91: oh my bad

charles_leclerc: no worries

user91: STILL GROSS BRO

liked by maxverstappen1

charles_leclerc: max ???

maxverstappen1: you guys need to calm down cause i'm not good with words and kelly is gonna start scrutinising my cards and i DO NOT HAVE THE VOCABULARY FOR IT

yourusername: lol

maxverstappen1: lol? LOL? did our brief yet forced stint as roommates mean nothing?

yourusername: fine i'll ghostwrite your valentines cards

user92: so this is all a bit melodramatic

user93: he CHANGED THE LOCKS BRO SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE MELODRAMATIC

liked by charles_leclerc

user94: okay so now we're in full blown f1 civil war - who is on each side?

user95: well max and pierre are on charles' side. i'd also add in lewis, seb, oscar, esteban, george, alex, yuki and daniel

user96: so carlos has lando and fernando?

fernandoalo_oficial: it might not be blood but that's my daughter

user96: ????

user97: did he just show up to diss carlos and then refuse to elaborate?

user98: sounds like a nando thing to do .... also just leaves carlos with lando lol

user99: this feels a bit unfair

yourusername: all is fair in love and poetry

fin.

note: so as soon as i had this idea (litr TTPD release day) i have been so busy and WHACKED with the worst writer's block but i hope this is a good start and rest assured knowing the beef will only get worse... I LOVE DRAMA

note: hiii extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx

taglist: @aadu2173 @rhythmstars @kqliie @booksandflowrs @2bormaybenot @firelily-mimi @evie-119

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #f1 social media au #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc #guilty as sin?

[sackpunched]

got meds for the side effects of my meds, can not wait to see how far we can take this!!

#hey sertraline stops me sleeping what’s with that #also it’s so fucking good to have a dr that not only believes everything I tell her but also immediately will give me a solution lmao #me to my doc: oh hey i haven’t gotten a good sleep since i started the meds i assume it’s normal #my dr: absolutely it is not here have such super intense sleep meds that will scare you when you look at the warnings #but fear be damned those guys are GOOD at making you sleep #oh EDIT from this point bc i forgot #i have found sertraline fine for my anxiety management like i can now use grounding techniques and they work which is wild #but also it’s made me hugely aware that the causes of my anxiety are not just like GAD things #but good news my dr thinks I have adhd (she didn’t say it outright ofc because she isn’t a psychiatrist) #so that’s like good for my referral!! and i didn’t even go in depth with my reasonings and whatever and she was like yep that’s textbook #anyway all done BYE

[empresskylo]

call of duty ೃ⁀➷ NSFW headcanons

↳ includes: ghost, price, soap, and alejandro.

⋆｡°✩ CONTENT WARNINGS | afab!reader, rough sex

cod masterlist | main masterlist

𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐔𝐓

Ghost

♡ ghost has a size kink for sure. loves being bigger/taller than you. loves towering over you. loves covering your whole body when he fucks you.

♡ he’s a growler (-: i mean, his voice is just really deep and that in combo with his accent causes him to make growling-esque noises in bed.

♡ but he was really quite quiet when you first fucked. he was used to having to be silent when he jerked off because teammates were always around somewhere. and so he didn’t even realize how quiet he was being until you said something. he was even a bit shy at first but once you showed him how much his sounds got you off, he was glad to oblige and let loose.

♡ he doesn’t like to “choke” you, but he likes to rest his hand around your neck in a firm hold allowing him to hold you steady so he can fuck you deeper.

♡ he’s rather simple. he likes a few basic positions. it gets the job done. he doesn't see the need for any wild or crazy positions when fucking you missionary, doggy style, or against a wall gets both of you off. he will do new stuff with you if you ask tho.

♡ really likes to praise you. he’s got a praise kink but only for being the praiser lol. he loves to tell you how good you feel, how pretty you look, how well you’re taking him. especially when you react to his words, fuck, he loves knowing he can do that to you.

♡ however, when you praise HIM, he gets all flustered and legit fucking blushes! my guy isn’t used to soft compliments, only ones about his combat skills. so when you say sweet things to him like how good he feels, how hot he looks, how turned on he makes you, how perfect he feels inside you, how badly you want him… he blushes. every. time.

♡ professional pussy eater. he very much enjoys going down on you, usually touching himself simultaneously. he’ll yank you to the end of the bed and wrap his arms around your thighs to hold you down. he likes when you ride his face too. he’s been known to get you off like that and make the two of you late. he moans a lot too when you ride his face. loves when you use him to get off and he can't help but moan at that.

♡ he has fucked you with the handle of his knife before and then made you lick it clean.

♡ gets a perverted sense of gratification when he sees you limping after fucking you senseless.

♡ has a breeding kink. he accidentally let it slip one day when he was fucking you, just about to come, when he moaned out in strained breaths “i need. to fucking. breed you.” (my brain: *414 error*) it doesn’t necessarily mean he wants kids, but he just loves the idea of getting you pregnant/coming inside you/breeding you.

♡ definitely a dom. but can be a sub when need be. he wasn’t sure about being submissive at first, but he’s learned to love it. he likes when you boss him around and tell him what you want. even likes it when you edge him and don’t let him finish, dragging it out painfully. but that’s only occasionally, he usually likes to be the one in control.

♡ comes the hardest when you tell him you love him as you're orgasming. he's a romantic at heart.

Price

♡ daddy kink.. i mean… com’on! he gets flustered as fuck when you call him that in public. usually, you’ll say it quietly or whisper it to him. it’s a rare sight to see Price so flustered. and he definitely punishes you when you get home. (that’s if you even make it home. as long as no one can see, he’ll fuck you anywhere)

♡ wants a video of you for when he’s away. you were shy at first so he just recorded your lower half while he was fucking you, the only thing visible was where your bodies were connecting. but he could hear all your moans in the video and that was plenty for him. he’s watched the video countless times.

♡ keeps a naughty polaroid of you in his wallet

♡ reallyyy likes to go down on you. he would spend the rest of his life between your thighs if he could.

♡ loves to tease you and make you beg. he’ll have you on your knees, begging him to fuck you. and of course that gives the cheeky bastard an aura of arrogance, but it’s hot on him so its ok.

♡ he specifically likes to tease you while you’re training together. watching the way you get flustered and try to ignore his innuendos and subtle hand movements on the more intimate parts of your body. then, when he has you alone, he’ll make it seem like you were the one causing all the distractions. he’ll stay fully clothed and strip you down, fingering you while you stifle your moans. “this why you were distracted today, love? thinkin’ bout my fingers inside of you?” (when, in fact, you were trying to train and he was the one being all cheeky)

♡ over the clothes... he is fond of letting you ride his thigh, both of you fully clothed (that, or you're in underwear and he's fully clothed). sometimes he'll fuck you with everything on, dry humping you so aggressively that you come harder than you ever have. my guy is good at what he does.

♡ quite intense and intimidating when having sex. he's demanding in a way that makes you nervous and embarrassed. always making you say things that make your face heat. "is this want you want, pretty girl? gonna have to say it. unless you want me to stop?" "tell me what you want, love. use your words." "you want me? where? gotta spell it out for me."

Soap

♡ doesn’t love the fact that you might get off to porn when he's not around, so he sends you audios of him jerking off, whining and moaning loudly for you. he gets so turned on when you tell him you got off to his video.

♡ likes to switch between being dominant and submissive. he’ll fuck you hard and fast, make you beg, tell you what to do, and edge you until you’re a crying mess. but he also likes it when you take control, riding him and stopping just as he’s about to finish, making him whine and whimper as you suck his dick, not letting him touch you as you tease him mercilessly, likes when you wrap your hand around his neck as you ride him.

♡ likes when you scratch him up. he wears all the marks you give him proudly and secretly likes being teased by the guys about it. he'll even tell you to be rougher on him. "bite down, love, I can take it."

♡ loves blowjobs. and loves finishing on your face with your tongue out. he finds it so hot when you lick your lips, his cum dripping down your chin.

♡ likes to be slow and gentle with you, dragging it out. he wants to take his time with you. and he'll do whatever you say or want. he's constantly making sure you're doing good or you like what he's doing. Sometimes you end up getting a bit frustrated, "yes, johnny, that feels fucking fantastic, now shut up and fuck me!" "yes, ma'am!"

♡ aftercare involves cleaning you up. taking a shower together. lame jokes. braiding your hair. giving you his sweatshirt to wear. and spooning you.

♡ almost came in his pants the first time he saw you in sexy lingerie that you bought just for his viewing pleasure.

♡ has a slight oral fixation and likes to keep his mouth busy the entire time. he's always kissing or nipping somewhere on you. he loves kissing your neck, jaw, chest, just anywhere really. he often groans into the kisses, making you swallow them.

Alejandro

♡ "if you're a good girl and don't come until i tell you, i'll make you come over and over again"

♡ for some reason, he likes to leave hickeys on your inner thighs, teasing you mercilessly as he kisses you everywhere below your hips except where you need him most.

♡ he lives for teasing. he wants you a withering mess before he even considers giving you what you need. will have you crying because of how bad you want him. those are his favorite tears from you.

♡ he will overstimulate the fuck outta you too. you come at least 3 times every time you fuck. and he'll threaten to keep going, your core throbbing in painful overstimulation, unless you do exactly as he says.

♡ leaves bruises and scratch marks all over you. but he also expects the same in return. both of you look like you got into a gnarly brawl every time you fuck. "jesus christ, were you two fucking in there or wrestling a wild bear?"

♡ he is amazing at aftercare, a big switch up from the dominant, rough sex. he'll clean you up while muttering little praises. he'll carry you to the bathroom, sometimes taking a warm bath with you and washing your hair. he'll get you situated into clean comfy clothes and curl you up into him in bed. whatever you need, he'll do.

♡ likes the thrill of getting caught. he doesn't actually want to get caught, but it's the rush of it all. he's down to fuck anywhere. he's sneaky too and can be really subtle about touching you under the table, or in a dark corner of the bar, or on the roof while you're on watch duty. but he definitely prefers when you can both let loose and be loud.

#ghost #simon riley #ghost smut #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #cod #cod headcanons #simon riley smut #ghost headcanon #ghost cod #ghost fanfic #simon riley fanfic #ghost mw2 #ghost call of duty #fluff #angst #ghost angst #cod mw2 #smut #alejandro vargas #johnny mactavish #soap #soap cod #captain price #john price #alejandro varggas headcanon #captain price headcanons #soap headcanons

[dannnnnny666]

Day 12: Time Travel

“Sooooo Phantom, do ya have any siblings?” Kid Flash asked as he tried to make small talk with the newest recruit to the team.

A few days ago, Young Justice was called to a meeting by Batman where he introduced their new team mate, Phantom. Phantom was a tough looking dude, he was jacked and towered over them all, even Conner!

Batman didn’t give them much information about the guy but apparently John Constentine was the one who suggested him for the team since he needed “community service hours”.

The dude was currently drinking some soda next to the computer as Red Robin searched for any new info on their latest mission. He turned his attention away from the can, and stared at Wally, his red eyes piercing into his soul.

“Why?” 

“Well we are all about to go on a mission together and none of us really know you so I think it’d be best if we all got to know you better,” that was half true. Mostly Wally was just being nosey, but the dude really did make everyone nervous since he was this really tough dude with blood red eyes and apparently was here because John Constentine said he needed community service hours???? Constentine typically say some wild shit, but what the fuck do you mean by community service? Wally knows you can’t use those for school, he’s tried, and what else gave you community service? Juvie and prison!!

Phantom stared at him hard for a few seconds, his eyes searing into the back of Wally’s skull before saying, “Okay fine”.

The answer surprised everyone in the room, I mean the guy had barely even spoken the last few days and had rejected every question about his personal life.

“Depending on how you see it, I have 2 to 4 siblings”

“Is your father a serial adopter too?” Tim joked.

“Yes and no”

“Huh?” 

“It’s pretty complicated,” Phantom shrugged, seemingly deciding to end the conversation there and taking another swig of his drink.

However, Tim, out of annoyances of every attempt to get to know this jerk being thwarted and a bit of confidence his family was more complicated, decided to challenge Phantom’s statement.

“Ehh, it probably isn’t as complicated as my family, we got about 50 more siblings adopted each month, all with lots much trauma”

At this, Phantom narrowed his eyes at Tim.

“I see what your doing, your trying to get me to talk tell you guy more about my family by acting like yours are more insane”

“Am I?” Tim asked, trying to hide the shivers going down his spine from the way Phantom was staring at him.

Phantom to a huge swig of his soda, emptying it and throwing it into the garbage, before fully turning to Tim.  

“You’re lucky I am always good for competitions, now sit down this is going to take a bit”

Tim gladly obliged and soon everyone sat around Phantom as if it were storytime in kindergarten.

“Okay, so at first I only had an older sister and my parents” Phantom began, “but then they died because of a mistake I made and I had to move in with my evil godfather”

Megan raised her hand and asked, “Isn’t a godfather someone who is very close to the family? Why would your parents choose an evil person?”

“‘Cause my dad was oblivious to this and though they were good friends even though the dudes tried to kill him multiple times”

“I see,” Megan lowered her hand, no less confused.

“There I went mad with grief and had him remove my humanity and tried to kill all of humanity”

“I think that was a bit of an overreaction,” Wally joked.

“You tried to kill all of humanity? Why weren’t we told of this when it happened?” Kaldur'ahm asked.

“That was in a different timeline, I was a big enough problem that they gods tried to kill the younger version of me to stop me, so to avoid dying, my younger version decide to try to defeat me and the only reason he did was cause I was underestimating him,” Phantom emphasized the last part because he had to stress he didn’t not lose to a 15 year old boy because he was weaker than him.

“What happened next?,” Artemis asked, completely inraptured in the story.

“I was then imprisoned for sometime before escaping, causing problems and then realizing that causing younger mean the same pain I experienced won't bring my loved ones back,” Phantom continued to explain, “so I am now going to therapy, doing community service, and got the majority of my powers taken away”.

“Is your therapist open to seeing new patients?” Konner asked.

“No, but this timelines version of my sister is and she has a lot of experience so I can give you her number instead”

“Sure, that’ll work”

“Okay,” Phantom said before writing her number down and handing it to Konner, “The thing is I can’t go back to living with my real parents because they don’t know that I am Phantom so I have to go back to living this timelines version of my godfather”

“You gotta be kidding me” Tim groans.

“Exactly what I said!!” Phantom put his arm up defensively, “Fortunately, this version is a little better, he is no longer tiring to kill my dad and has stopped chasing after my mom, he did clone the other of me and now there is a genderbent version of him but my godfather treats her like a princess and will not stop spoiling her, which I am also guilty of”

Phantoms continues to explain more and in the back of Tim's mind he remembers he was supposed to be doing something but honestly this conversation was too good to care.

“Anyways that's how I technically have 2 to 4 siblings, Jazz and Elle are permanently my sisters and I love them so much, and even though the other Jazz is technically the same as this Jazz, I still think of her as someone else, someone I miss dearly. Also if I considered this Jazz my sister, I guess I’d have to considered the other me as my brother”

“Damn bitch your family is crazy” Wally said, happy he finally managed to get through Phantom’s tough skin.

As they finished up their storytime, the Zeta-tubes activated and Red Tornado and an upset looking Batman walked to the group.

“You all were supposed to leave thirty minutes ago”

#dannymay2024 #danny fenton #dannymay #dannymay 2024 #dan phantom #dark danny #danny phantom #jazz fenton #danni phantom #vlad plasmius #vlad master #dpxdc #dc x dp #young justice #dc #red robin #konner kent #miss martian #kid flash #aqualad #zatanna #tigress #day 12 #time travel #day 12: time travel

[hottestvirgin]

𝐈 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆.. | 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍

he might have just discovered another side of you and to be honest.. it turned him on

warnings(17+). smut, meandom!sunghoon, unprotected sex, name calling (bitch), creampie, backshots, dumbification

your best friend had just found your secret blog on tumblr where you wrote about all of the sexual desires you’ve had for him.

you had thought that you made the blog so discreetly, faking your own identity and who you were writing about. you had thought. nevertheless, sunghoon managed to find out that the blog belonged to you.

and it was unhinged; you wrote about how you would imagine him leaving wet kisses all over your aching body while he’s balls deep in you. or how you couldn’t even stare at him without thinking about fucking him.

how soaking wet your panties would be every time he would come over to chill. or how when you’d watch a movie with him, you would spend the whole time thinking of dirty scenarios: shower sex, angry sex, make up sex, floor sex, wall sex, pool sex, sex, sex, sex.

and you documented it all.. because why not? you wanted all your girlies who interacted with you to know how you felt about that man. you had no shame because of course he would never find the blog.

but damn, were you wrong.

it made your blood run cold when your “secret” username slipped past his lips. all the air in your lungs were stolen from that simple sentence.

“so that’s not you?” he cocked his head with that stupid know–it-all look on his face.

how.. when..?

“i read the stuff you wrote about me and it’s…” he paused, trying to find the right word, “wild.”

“it wasn’t even about you.” you argued, trying to act as nonchalant as fucking possible. it wasn’t working. sunghoon could see right through you.

“so the S guy you write about isn’t me?” he questioned.

well.. in your defense you were one-hundred percent sure that he or anyone else wouldn’t figure out it was about sunghoon just by the first letter of his name.

“you have a really big ego. what if i was talking about sunoo?” you interrogated, trying to flee from the scene but he took a step forward, firmly gripping your arm.

“d’you really think i’m dumb?” he furrowed his eyebrows and licked his lips as he spoke, “hm?”

“i-i said it wasn’t about you.” you said again. his grip on your arm had your stomach churning in arousal. your heart was racing, and you were certain that he could feel your pulse through your arm.

sunghoon tsked at your lie, “cool.”

maybe it was manifestation, or just pure luck. but that same arm was yanked behind you as sunghoon plunged his hips into you, splitting you open on his thick cock.

he cooed at your cute attempts at trying to squirm away from his staggering thrusts. “none of that— quit trying to run from it..” sunghoon grunted, voice trembling from how soft your walls were around his cock, “you was talking all that on your blog and can’t even take it? tsk.”

you hummed at his word, spit pooling in your mouth from being fucked so good that you couldn’t even remember to swallow anymore. “m’ s.. sorry, fffuck!” you squealed, but it didn’t stop his harsh thrusts.

he pushed your head into the mattress, treating your aching body like his personal fleshlight, “you’re such a dirty bitch. made to be fucked, huh?” sunghoon groaned at how wet you were and the sounds your cunt made. it was so filthy and only got him throbbing more and more inside of you.

he shoved two slender fingers into your mouth, sliding them down your throat as drool spilled down your chin, fingers digging into the mattress beneath you. you remembered writing about how much you’d love for this to happen. and it happened.

clenching hard around him, sunghoon pulled his fingers from your throat and wiped your own salvia across your face. “nasty girl.” he grunted, breathless.

you delivered a guttural scream when he smacked your ass, repeatedly. your thighs quivered as you tried to escape the pain, only to be forced still by his large hands. “c-can’t, i can’t! please..” you wined, screaming into the bedsheets.

“this is what you wanted, right?” sunghoon teased, referring back to your blog, “you greedy bitch, stay still and take this dick.”

you’re sooo full of dick that you can’t breathe properly. you were certain that you were taking all of him, but you can feel him sinking deeper and deeper into you as time passed. “i-i love your cock.. h-hoonie. s’ good, l-let me cum.” you whined.

“shiiit, go ahead.”

it took a long, hasty few seconds before you were convulsing around him and coming hard, harder than you’ve ever came in your life; everything cut to white noise and clear liquid spilled out of your cunt as his hips shuttered against you.

“that’s right.. keep squirting that filthy pussy for me.” sunghoon moaned. then he pulsed inside of you and shot his thick, sticky load into your cunt, painting your walls with his fluids.

it was like every muscle in your body had stopped working, body falling limp onto the bed. sunghoon stilled above you, pulling out to watch his cum flood and drip out of you.

“next time when you lend me your laptop, close your damn tabs Y/N.”

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