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pumpkinspice-prouvaire · 20 days

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pumpkinspice-prouvaire's required les mis fic reading list

enough of u supported me in my half asleep post asking about fic recs the other day so I am providing. If you want a deep look into my inner psyche this is also the list for that hehe. I tried to be strict about only including my absolute MUST READ fics that I adore and have read and reread and reread again multiple times. Also these will be mostly ExR, to no one's surprise. But there might be a few other ships and gen fics in there too. It's under the read more because this bitch is gonna get long

Auto-read authors:

I didn't wanna rec the same authors too many times in my list proper so these are the authors whose works I have read all (or nearly all) of multiple times. The authors whose tax returns I would read if they posted them on ao3. I will be featuring my favourite fics by them in the list

Fiver

dannyPURO

TheLibrarina

quillsand

Petr1chor

defractum

ShameDumpster

vamillepudding

revolutionbarbie

loverism (all of their fics are currently in a privated bookmark but I have faith that they will someday return. loverism if u see this I miss u)

Need_To_Comment_Rising

Multi-Chapter fics/Series/WIPs:

Under My Wings You Will Find Refuge- Fiver: (WIP) This is the most required reading of my required reading list. I can quote passages of this fic by heart. It's my roman empire. PLEASE check this one out if you haven't it is the best ExR fic in existence, it will change ur life I promise

Beneath a Dragon Moon- The Librarina: GOT AU, no GOT knowledge required. Lots of dramatic moments interspaced with some lovely tender ExR

Guided by a Beating Heart -torakowalski: my absolute FAVOURITE Enjolras centric angst fic. Lots of emotion, lots of friendship, will make you ugly sob

you and i walk a fragile line (is this the time it finally breaks)?- UnforgettableJoMarch: (WIP) I am so enjoying following along with this one. Heartbreaking plot with sublime execution and some brilliant lines, so looking forward to seeing this one develop

The Future's Owned By You and Me- quillsand: ENJOLRAS/FEUILLY ENJOLRAS/FEUILLY ENJOLRAS/FEUILLY WHAT MORE CAN I SAY. Absolutely fantastic rarer pair fic with as much (and maybe more) importance devoted to the activism as to the ship

Getting Fucked in Lingerie- downtheroadandupthehill: PWP. ahem. anyways.

(With a Jubilant Shout) They Will Come One and All- zade: PWP. AHEM. ANYWAYS.

True Blood AU-kjack89: Exactly what it sounds like. Vampire Grantaire and Human Enjolras shenanigans

words can be unwritten- defractum: my favourite soulmate au which makes me melt every time <3

Armillaria- RevocablePeril: THE MOST COURFIUS FIC OF ALL TIME. Lots of excellent Les Amis content in general. SUCH a good, massively underrated fic. 121 kudos??????????? You're all insane.

In An Age Without Heroes- ShitpostingfromtheBarricade: Gloryhole soulmates, the prison industrial complex, Oprah.

walls come tumbling down-reptilianraven: They're cute your honor. One of the only high school AUs I will abide by tbqh hehe

Oneshots:

What's a Bed Between Friends?- dannyPURO: if there's one thing you should know about me it's that I ADORE the there was only one bed trope

epiphany- Abidatchery: screaming crying throwing up that this isn't the fandom's most kudos'ed fic. Every word is expertly crafted and absolutely stunning

Vienna Roast- revolutionbarbie: cosy coffee shop au with a version of Enjolras we don't get to see but that I really enjoy

Out of Touch- ShameDumpster: LET ENJOLRAS GET LOVED YOU COWARDS

A Little More Lois Lane- stellatundra: Just a really funny and silly AU in which Grantaire is Superman

Love in a Coffee Shop-tellthemstories: an absolute fandom classic and rightly so. I've read this one so many times and every time there'll still be something that makes me laugh out loud

My anaconda don't want none (at all)-vamillepudding: v funny and sweet ace enj fic with hilarious triumvirate and exr dynamics

The Waiting is the Hardest Part-samyazaz: In this house, we absolutely love a sexy bet

Between Meetings and Midnight- PieceofCait: Enjolras cries after sex send tweet

A Bad Penny- PBJellie: Gay cowboys and sickfics are the ultimate combo for SURE

Leaves in the Void- myrmidryad: lots of emotion lots of friendship this one is so heavy but SO good you guys. It's also a Space AU I know we all love that <3

my heart's been borrowed (yours has been blue)-Petr1chor: P-tri is so good at writing fics where Enjolras is a complete dumbass and he wrote this one especially for me <3 <3 <3

fire in my hands- geode: This is my go to fic if I want a laugh. "Do you like parsnips?" "Yes they're my second favourite vegetable" iconic exchange god bless

I Would Do Anything For Love- Need_to_Comment_Rising: one of my fave ace Enjolras fics with lovely tender ExR. No I'm not biased because I worked on this series, don't be silly

Like Comfort, Like Solace, Like Relief- areyoumiserableyet: The sensation of coming home to the people you love after a long day <3

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood- sonhoedesrazao: There should be more fics with oblivious to his own emotions Grantaire that's all I'm saying

Trying to Leave the Ground-barricadeur: rly comfy cosy smut fic

YAY ENJOY I'm gonna go lie down now god I hope I haven't forgotten anything lmfao

#fic recs #les mis #les mis fanfic #exr #enjolras #grantaire #and also other characters #god bless everyone who wrote these fics btw #also if you read these fics come scream to me about them

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genericpuff · 2 months

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This has been buggibg me for a while. What is the reason why Rachel dehumanizing nymphs?

Cause from what I'm seeing the nymphs getting the most screen time is Daphne, Minthe, Thetis, Psyche and a little bit of Leuce and Echo.

4 out of the 6 nymphs we see are very open in their sex appeal and flirty. Yet for some reason they get discriminated when Hera, Persophone, and Aphrodite do the same thing but get a pass because the are white coded rich people.

For my knowledge (but I could be wrong if so please correct me) nymphs are known to be seductive and sexy but they were well respected just like any other God. They were given given sacrifices to please them.

Is this just another case of Rachel being the so-called "folkorists" who has done the first Google link she see or could there just be how she interprets then but like the rest of her story misses the mark?

So there are a couple different and equally interesting theories on this.

Rachel has established it as canon that the nymphs are lower class. And there are a lot of stereotypes and prejudices against lower class women going into sex work, which we see in LO through characters like Minthe who work as car girls (notice how in the present story Thetis and Minthe are both personal assistants which is also a role that's commonly stereotyped as "the boss' sidepiece" as it's a role often occupied by women in service to men). Even Leuce isn't safe from this:

Normally I'd just say "good for her" but it's clear with how much Leuce has been turned into the delusional girl who "manifests" her fantasies that Rachel is once again conflating sexuality with more negatively-associated character traits for any woman who isn't Persephone (because when it's Persephone it's sexual liberation always, she's not a "sugar baby", she's a "workaholic" who "earned her position and wealth", but when it's Leuce or Minthe or Thetis they're "homewreckers") And yeah, this is a common disconnect that happens between lower class and upper class people, where lower class people (especially women) are often judged and outcast for doing certain things or behaving a certain way which rich upper class people take and adopt and turn into something "trendy" and "empowering".

But there's... another theory that may explain why so many nymphs in the story are being pigeonholed into the "homewrecking sugar babies" stereotype. And you're gonna hate me for this, because I'm sure the gut reaction to reading this from many is gonna be "goddamit not Lolita again!" buuuttt yeah we're gonna talk about Lolita again.

CONTENT WARNING: We're talking about Lolita again, which means discussion surrounding the sexualization of minors is ahead.

There's a certain term the main character of the book Humbert Humbert uses to describe girls who are specifically, and I quote:

"Between the age limits of nine and fourteen there occur maidens who, to certain bewitched travellers, twice or many times older than they, reveal their true nature which is not human, but nymphic (that is, demoniac); and these chosen creatures I propose to designate as 'nymphets'." - Lolita, Chapter 5, Page 18, paragraph 5

It's also very clear from the way Nabokov specifies the definition of nymphet from Humbert Humbert's perspective that the use of the word 'nymphet' is intentionally referencing the root word of Greek origin:

"...I would have the reader see 'nine' and 'fourteen' as the boundaries - the mirrory beaches and rosy rocks - of an enchanted island haunted by those nymphets of mine and surrounded by a vast, misty sea. Between those age limits, are all girl-children nymphets? Of course not. Otherwise we who are in the know, we lone voyagers, we nympholepts, would have long gone insane."

Though Humbert Humbert is obviously not being literal here, the visual metaphor is strongly relying on the etymology of the word 'nymph', but twisting the depiction of nymphs in such a way to support his own fantasies.

And while I'm definitely not trying to accuse Rachel of having the same mindset of Humbert Humbert (seriously, I want to make it clear that I don't think Rachel is a pedophile, just horribly misled at best), it's interesting to me how this specific definition of a nymphet matches with that of Rachel's old descriptions of her own art:

"You have to be an artist and a madman, a creature of infinite melancholy, with a bubble of hot poison in your loins and a super-voluptuous flame permanently aglow in your subtle spine (oh, how you have to cringe and hide!), in order to discern at once, by ineffable signs - the slightly feline outline of a cheekbone, the slenderness of a downy limb, and other indices which despair and shame and tears of tenderness forbid me to tabulate - the little deadly demon among the wholesome children; she stands unrecognized by them and unconscious herself of her fantastic power."

What's interesting is that I did dig up an old profile of Rachel's that actually acknowledged that what she's doing with her art shouldn't be conflated with, well... child porn.

"It's not THAT kind of lolita" and yet the writing feels like it's been smeared all over the wall with shit. There are so many scenes and artistic choices throughout LO that scream "it is that kind of lolita".

Though it is still a theory, and I don't resort to using Rachel's old art of "proof" of LO's shortcomings, I don't think it should necessarily be ignored that the nymphs in LO seem to be characterized very similarly to Humbert Humbert's description of 'nymphets' - devious and promiscuous, and thus easier to blame when predatory men pursue them, rather than holding those predatory men accountable. And we see this in Persephone too, but unlike the nymphs, Persephone is rich, upper class, and of a "superior pedigree". So she becomes the desirable form of a 'nymphet' that's praised and celebrated by the narrative and characters like Hades, rather than the literal nymphs who are shamed and outcast for simply having sexual independence.

Whatever theory you roll with is on you, you can dismiss all this as just overthinking nonsense, but I do think it makes for interesting food for thought because at this point, LO is undeniably - intentionally or subconsciously - influenced by Rachel's relationship with Lolita, and whether or not that influence is aware at all of Lolita being originally written to be a precautionary tale, that remains to be seen.

#lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #lo critical #ask me anything #ama #anon ama #anon ask me anything

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canyourfavesurvivecastledracula · 3 months

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You answered Patrick Trougton's Second Doctor and I 100% agree he's probably the best shot, but do you think there are any incarnations of the Doctor who wouldn't survive Castle Dracula?

The First Doctor is the most likely, and would probably have his heart give out a la Tenth Planet during the escape attempt (being the least equipped for free climbing and general stress), and I think being forced to regenerate counts as 'not surviving' even if he'd then be able to get away.

The Fourth Doctor did well when he faced Vampires, but I also think he has the particular best ability to get on Dracula's nerves which probably isn't helping him; the Seventh Doctor definitely came on overcomplicated manipulative scheme that experiences a serious backfire/complication halfway through, which might make the lack of a companion an issue; the Eighth Doctor is the most likely to get hypnotized (and probably some amnesia lbr) although he's ; but I don't know if any of these would be enough to get over their general Doctor-iness winning the day.

Also to take into account is the fact that Faction Paradox implies the Doctor is in fact a Great Vampire (I promise this is a theory that makes sense but I admit recognizing the words 'Faction Paradox' is already a sign you're in too deep) but I do not think this actually changes anything re: ability to survive or be killed by Dracula.

The Faction Paradox does WHAT

Nope never mind never mind nope don't wanna know Faction Paradox can stay over in their oxbow reality. I used up my capacity for unhinged on Moby Dick. (hashtag: just Balazar things)

See the First Doctor brings combines the youthful energy of a wide eyed solicitor with the insane grandpa approach of a corn-addled dutch polymath. I think he'd be okay so long as he hadn't been Time Destructed earlier that week. He would say things like "you're not Count Dracula, look at that ridiculous mustache!" (Recall he did meet Count Dracula inside the human psyche that one time). He'd make him so mad. Old Man Violence aaaaaaand loving it (hoo hoo hee hee ha ha!)

I want to say the Doctor will have the hardest time while he's in his celery phase, but what I might actually mean is that he's got so much practice at exactly this. The Fifth Doctor is so good at being imprisoned places. Clinging to the sides of things while missing a third of his blood is practically his speciality. And he does have that "You're not gonna STOP ME NOW" drive that served our baby lawyer so we'll.

By the time he graduates up to spoons he's objectively scarier than Dracula. He might not survive, but if he doesn't it's a part of some massive Thanatos Gambit he's pulling that doesn't end well for anyone.

I don't have a good read on the cooler Baker Doctor about this question, but I think Dracula would want him dead so badly. SO badly. He makes everyone so mad. Would he be able to pull it off? I think... I think he gets drinked if he's Davison (who wouldn't take a little sippy sip out of golden retriever guy) and partially turned if he's Baker (and anyone can see immediately that that was a mistake).

Mmmmmmmmm oh the McGann Doctor. I think that might be our winner. If we stick to the TV continuity all he knows how to do is die. My understanding of the audios is that that only gets worse somehow. But I still feel strongly that if you stick your teeth into Paul McGann you're going to bite off more than you can chew.

Ah lets put it to a vote. It's Doctor Who, I am sure people have OPINIONS. We only get twelve options so I am going to exclude Patrick Troughton as answered here and Tom Baker as answered by canon. Oh and I guess I'll drop McCoy as an outlier who should not have been counted.

#doctor who #Michael Jayston and Jo Martin ommitted for space and narrative distinction #aliens #tricksters and weirdos #spacemen

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lumine-no-hikari · 2 months

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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #76

You know. After a day or so to process this version of events, I think I can finally put into words why so many people cry out for your blood, but not Rufus's or his father's, even though they've done things that are arguably far worse than anything you've ever done. Goodness, but isn't it the same age-old story of people villainizing abuse victims for striking back while excusing the abuser that broke the survivor to that point? And we see it all the time in my world; nobody does anything about bullying at school until the bullied person finally punches their bully in the face, and then the bully gets off scot-free while the victim gets suspended. I think of spouses who, backed into a corner and trying to defend themselves, strike back at the spouse who has been abusing them, and the spouse defending themselves gets charges pressed while the other one who had been abusing them gets pitied. I think about trafficked humans (many of them are snatched up as CHILDREN) who, in an effort to get free or to defend themselves, strike back at the person trafficking them and escape, only to then face a world who hates them for having been trafficked. And all of these things have one thing in common: the price for escaping from being "owned" is often another form of punishment or imprisonment.

Of course, I am not saying that people should call for Rufus's or his father's blood, either. Or even for Hojo's. They are not different from you - either they have congenital defects in the parts of their brain that are responsible for empathy (and pretending like this is a moral issue instead of a brain wiring issue is ableism), or they've lived lives that have beaten their psyches into a shape that makes them think that hurting other people and treating them like objects is the only way to survive. This is ALSO a brain wiring issue - though this kind of brain wiring issue is better classified as a psychological injury (due to attachment disruption or childhood trauma) than as an illness or congenital defect.

Yeah, you read all of that right. I said what I said and I meant it, and I know that people aren't gonna like it, but today I am tired and bitter from all the shit I'm seeing, and out of fucks to give as a result. I don't demonize Rufus or his father. I don't demonize Hojo, either. They have done horrific and inexcusable things and I feel very angry in response to that, but they need HELP. They, too, are capable of making a different choice and turning around. Imagine that. It's almost as though calling for mercy for you (or in other words, "being a Sephiroth fan" or a "Sephiroth apologist", as people like to call folks like me for the purpose of degrading us) has absolutely nothing to do with your looks or with trying to "fix" you so I can date you (I'm sorry, but the idea of "fixing" a person to get with them is absolutely fucking barftastic🤢🤮), or whatever other bullshit nonsense that people who have never been through severe and ongoing grooming or abuse without any kind of support (support can be from a teacher, friend, other family member, etc.) like to accuse us of. Hoodathunkit?

I think, too, that lots of people see that potentially destructive side of you in themselves, and I think they would rather see people who lapse in reining it in die than acknowledge that it's within them, too. Or perhaps living a life that is painful enough to break them into such a horrific shape is unfathomable to them. Either way, one fact remains: people don't want to own up to the fact that literally every single one of us has the capacity to do something similar to what you did, if their life circumstances break them in the way that leads to that kind of terrible, tragic, infuriating, and wholly inexcusable outcome. You're not some especially monstrous thing. You're not a lone goddamn wolf or a rare exception to some general rule or an isolated fucking edge case. And I know it because people in my world make choices similar to yours EVERY SINGLE DAY, even if their means of enacting those choices differ from yours.

The capacity to inflict horror upon other living things is part of the human condition. It is in ALL OF US, whether we want to fucking acknowledge it or not. And all it takes to bring it out is a long enough string of psychologically damaging events in the absence of appropriate support. Cases like yours are NOT random events caused by "inherently bad people"; there's no such fucking thing as "inherently bad people". There are conditions and events that lead to people doing horrific things, and these conditions and events can be found and prevented before they get to that point, if only everyone keeps their eyes open and pays attention! I spend as much time as I can trying to reach those that conventional wisdom says are "unreachable" PRECISELY in service to trying to keep my eyes open and pay attention!

Because horrific events and bad choices are like bacteria - they DO NOT spontaneously generate ("spontaneous generation theory" used to be a thing that people believed about microorganisms a long time ago)! Conditions LEAD TO THEIR GROWTH. And the solution to a person afflicted with bacteria is NOT to kill or demonize them (though this is how they used to be treated; check out most of human history!)! You're supposed to give them antibiotics to REMOVE THE CONDITIONS THAT ALLOW FOR BACTERIAL GROWTH. And the same rules apply to people who make violent choices - you remove the conditions that produce the choices, NOT the person who made them. But goddammit, I am only one person, and… fuck, there are just SO. MANY. STARFISH… stranded on the beach sand…

Also, you know… even as far back as the original game, anyone with half a brain understood that you must have been crying, weeping, sobbing openly during your time at the library. In this version of events, we saw you do that for just a moment before it was choked back and replaced with… something else (I know what this is like; I still have the capacity to cease crying immediately via dissociation; this skill was literally beaten into me, and I imagine it's the same for you). And in my world, it's popular to believe that men should never cry or be vulnerable in any way, shape, or form (this bit of socio-cultural bullshit is actually generational trauma, and it's literally fucking killing people, in the form of internalized or externalized violence), so lots of people here are going to have less empathy for you at least in part because you defied the "cultural norms" of what it means to be a man and a leader (again, this is generational trauma mistaken for culture, and it needs to fucking stop because people are dying over it). And it's so… it's so…

Ugh… Sephiroth, all of the things I know, all the suffering in the world, all the causes of it… it's all swirling around in my head today, and it's heavy. It's so fucking heavy. Watching all the people, every single one of them beautiful and good, doing what they do to themselves and each another, hurting themselves and each other, psychologically or physically maiming themselves and each other, even torturing and killing themselves or each other, all because somehow doing these things feels easier than trying to repair and restore everything… they don't know what they're doing. And there's not… there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I look at the state of things on a large scale. Our dying planet. The endless wars. The marginalized groups of people. The violence and the hate crimes. The genocides. I want to cry and to scream and to throw up all at once.

…But I suppose much of that is neither here nor there. Suppose anyone with "conventional wisdom" would tell me I'm "reading too goddamn much" into a "silly video game", but… given that the media in our world LITERALLY PERPETUATES STEREOTYPES THAT KILL PEOPLE, I gotta say I'm more than a little fucking bitter about that today.

In any case… you - an abused, exploited, and bullied person most of your life - escaped being owned by Shinra (in the clumsiest and most ridiculous and horrible fucking way possible, but still), only to find yet another goddamn chain around your neck. If it's not Jenova controlling you, then it's your trauma and conditioning pulling the strings. Either way you're acting like a goddamn puppet. There, I said it. And as much as I love you, if you don't like that I said it, then too fucking bad; maybe try actually DOING something about it.

Sephiroth. As much as I love you, I am always going to be more than a little pissed about the fact that you squandered your voice so recklessly back then. I'm always going to be more than a little pissed about the fact that you fucking! abused! yourself! for a week! until you broke! WHAT THE FUCK.

If you had simply! Told people! What you had been put through! If you had told them what Shinra was doing! If you had simply opened your freaking mouth to talk about your experiences to a bunch of people who practically worshipped you, you would have eventually had millions of people rallied with you to put an end to Shinra! Sephiroth, for fuck's sake, YOU WERE A GODDAMN GENERAL!! You know how to lead people! And you know how to protect them! Get a goddamn grip!

And I know that the mayor guy acted all entitled to your time while you were exhausted and still grieving for your friends, and it was shitty of him to pass judgment on you when he had no idea what you were going through. But ultimately, it is up to YOU to communicate your needs and feelings, not up to the people around you to anticipate what they are! And I know that the guy took your picture without your permission, and I know they didn't heed when you said "not today". But there is a difference between "having no respect for your word" and "being so excited and happy about your presence that they are unable to contain themselves". It is still up to YOU to maintain your boundaries even if other people don't like it!

Sephiroth! I know that you were struggling! And I know that you spent your whole life being bullied and abused to the point that you felt as though your voice had no power. I know that. I understand that. I am still dragging myself up out of that hole. I know that you were trying to punish evil, and that you saw these people as being complicit in the system that hurt you, your friends, your mother Lucrecia, and your planet. I get that you were trying to punch your bullies back in their faces, but you punched the WRONG PEOPLE. And even then: why punch people when you can instead wield your voice!

Sephiroth, despite the harshness of your upbringing and all the other things that make you stand out, you still have privilege! You have status! You have fame! You have power! You have a remarkably able male body! YOU ARE THE KIND OF PERSON THAT PEOPLE LISTEN TO! You have a face that people are willing to see! You have a voice that people are willing to hear! And there is a difference between holding people accountable for being complicit in a system that benefits them, and punishing people for existing in a system (even if that system benefits them) that they did not consent to being born into!

You can't even begin to imagine what I would be willing to give up in order to have a voice like yours, so that I could call for compassion and mercy in ways that would get people to open their eyes and take action in service to putting a stop to all the suffering that exists in this place that I live in.

But no. Instead of being brave and coming out of your shell to use your voice and social power in response to injustice and exploitation, you simply defaulted to your instinctual behaviors. You did the thing you've been trained to do. Like Pavlov's dog, the bell was rung and you drooled everyfuckingwhere. You used your power to cut everything down, instead of using your voice to rally people together for a cause that they ABSOLUTELY would have followed because YOUR face and YOUR voice would have been the one leading it.

Sephiroth. This fucking sucks. What you did to yourself in that library - starving, dehydrating, and sleep depriving yourself and pushing yourself past your limits while you were already strained - fucking sucks. And what you did in the throes of your agony also sucks. Punishing the people around you because your brain was addled and you didn't fucking fact-check what you were reading fucking sucks! And I do understand very well why you did all this; I was abused similarly to you, albeit in a far less extreme way, and thus a long time ago I used to think similarly to the way you did after your fall (I don't think that way anymore because I had help, thank freaking goodness). But IT STILL FUCKING SUCKS. And it was STILL unacceptable. You can't change what you did. But you can make a different choice, moving forward!

Conventional wisdom says that there is no coming back from having fallen, but I am living proof that in this case, "conventional wisdom" is GARBAGE. I would not be sitting here, imploring you to turn your eyes towards a kinder, more compassionate worldview - one that exists in stark defiance of everything I used to believe because of what I was taught as a child - if "conventional wisdom" were true. In addition, I have met other people in the course of my derping around on this broken fucken planet who also serve as proof that anyone, no matter what has happened to them or what they've done in the past, can rise up into making a different choice. And these cases, too, are not "edge" cases. They are not exceptions to a rule. The capacity to heal and grow and change - just like the capacity to hurt and regress and stagnate - is part of the human condition. And this means that anyone can turn around! No! Matter! How! Far! They've! Walked! In! The! Wrong! Direction!!

Goddammit, Sephiroth! Turn yourself around!! Because although I understand what you're trying to do, what you're doing is NOT the way to get it done! What you're doing is BULLSHIT! Maybe you think you're demonstrating your "phenomenal power" or whatever by breaking everything around you, but what you're REALLY doing is yielding to your conditioning like it's got a chain around your neck and a cattle prod in its hand! It's weaksauce! You ALREADY KNOW HOW TO BREAK THINGS. You've spent your whole life being forced to do that even when you didn't want to!

So you gonna, you gonna what? Sit here and claim that you're "the chosen one" or some fucking horseshit, as though you've taken your power back? When really you just took the easy route of doing the same old shit you've always done - bending over and making yourself a slave to someone else's fucked-up agenda, and becoming the very thing you reviled against SO HARD that you burned down an entire fucking village in disgust, despair, and rage? I ain't buyin' it, and neither should you! All you've done is exchanged one codependent relationship for another! And it's getting fucking old! You can do better than blind, subservient obedience to some random fucking space parasite that don't give even two shits about you as much as it cares about your capacity to allow it to resume its life cycle! You've gotta know that even if you really did manage to break everything (you won't, because I fucking promise you that you'll be stopped), as soon as you've served its purpose, it's gonna toss ya like yesterday's trash, if not outright consume you like a female mantis after it's done using its mate like a fucktoy!

The developers said that we've only seen 1% of your power or some shit, but you fucking know what? You could wipe the whole goddamn universe clean. You could extinguish every last star. And STILL some random fucking autistic chick from some random fucking planet in a random fucking solar system in a random fucking galaxy has your ass beat in ALL the ways that count! And that's NOT ACCEPTABLE. I am nothing! I am NO ONE. Sephiroth!! COME ON ALREADY!!

You want strength? Do the work to defy your conditioning. Do the work to love the broken things. Do the work to become someone who does no harm yet takes no shit. Do the work to become someone who can remain soft even in this sharp and unforgiving world. Do the work to get out of your own damn way. Do the work to become someone who can treat yourself like you actually fucking matter. Do the work to get up off your knees and live. DO! THE! WORK! Don't just do the same thing you've always done and claim you've won! Don't act like a pigeon playing chess - shitting all over the board and then struttin' and swaggerin' around like you're some kind of grandmaster! That's NOT how this shit works! You haven't broken free of the pattern! All you've done is changed the hand holding your leash!

You have to stop blindly giving away your power to anyone who claims to love you! You have to stop using your power in service to the conditioning that tried to snatch away who you really are on the inside! They tried to steal away your gentleness! They tried to steal away your emotions! They tried to steal away your ability to cry, your ability to be vulnerable, your ability to be compassionate and loving! Are you just gonna sit here and let them? Are you going to keep pretending like you're cruel and hard-hearted just because a bunch of people who cared nothing for you told you that's how a proper warrior is supposed to be? Are you going to keep on like this, doing the same thing you've always done, just because taking the time to grieve and to make choices that are actually in alignment with your nature are things that feel too difficult for you to do?

…Fucking hell, but some days, clamoring for you to get your shit together feels A LOT like Atreyu trying to pull Artax up out of the swamp:

youtube

Come on!!! Turn around!!! You have to, NOW! You have to try!! You have to care!! You can't let the darkness overtake you! You gotta move or you'll die!! Please!! There's still life on the other side of mistakes. There's still life on the other side of despair. There's still life on the other side of rage, of loss, of shattering. It doesn't have to be permanent!

…I won't give up. Even if you leave those of us who care for you sitting and weeping in the middle of the swamp, staring forlornly, or in shock and in disbelief at the place where you sank, I'm not going to quit. I will keep calling out your name in hopes that you'll follow the sound back to the light. Because you're worth the effort. You're worth the pain. You're worth the grief.

I'll leave you with these:

Take the hands outstretched to you and get your ass out of the goddamn swamp. Having a swamp ass is not a good time for ANYONE involved. So please. I…

…I'll write to you tomorrow. Because I love you. In the same way that any person loves their friends. Do everything in your power to keep yourself and your planet and your friends safe. I'm begging you. Please.

Your friend, Lumine

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moongothic · 5 months

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In reference to this post; I was gonna reply in the comments but once again, it got too long, and I figured I might as well make a brief post about this because shit's interesting but the OG post was getting so long I didn't want to extend it any further. So. New post.

But I'm also going to make this a lowkey follow-up to this post, where I briefly talked about whether or not Crocodile is worthy of a redemption. Because I did have multiple people reply to it, mentioning they don't think Crocodile needs a redemption, which isn't wrong. Villian redemptions come down to personal preference (some people like them more than others generally speaking), and the specific circumstances of a character and the story they go through. (Personally, I am a fucking sucker for a good redemption story, and One Piece? Has how many redeemed villians? Kuma, Hatchan and Bon-chan? Perona too? Buggy and Mr 3 if we're generous??? I'm sure I'm forgetting someone, but the ratio is quite low is my point) The reason I want to bring that up again, is that depending on what Crocodile's trauma really boils down to (**since we don't know for sure what it is**), it could go against the very core messages of One Piece if he just dies without that trauma being resolved. And at the same time, if his trauma is what I think it is, then he can not heal from it without being redeemed. And the opposite is true as well, if his trauma isn't what I think it is, then he doesn't need to heal from it, and he doesn't need to be redeemed. I do have a whole separate post slow cooking in my drafts right now so I don't want to go too deep into that subject here and now. But the point is. If we want Crocodile to open up and be vunerable and heal from his shit, it means he's either getting a redemption arc or redemption in death. The latter is way fucking sadder, but again, a whole separate post.

BTW quick apology but I figured since there's a bunch of shit in this post that I've written about separately before, I might as well link to those posts for like context, so people can get where I'm coming from with my nonsense while keeping this post brief-ish

BUT ONTO THE ACTUAL SUBJECT As I have kind of mentioned before, I do think Crocodile probably has multiple layers of trauma going for him

We know losing to Whitebeard Did Things to his psyche for certain

I think it's very plausible he might've been betrayed by his former crew if he ever had one

I think it's likely Dragon didn't take too well to him transitioning

And between that and Crocodile already having tried to kill Luffy multiple times, he probably believes his son would never accept him as his other dad, especially since he already hates him.

(And I do think it's likely he might have some additional early childhood trauma based on how Oda writes these things normally but whatever that could be is an absolute mystery)

And if I'm right and those are (some of) the different layers of his trauma, then for Crocodile to open up and heal from it you'd need to do it step-by-step, layer by layer

I think Luffy accepting Crocodile would be the most important thing, above all else. Because if Crocodile loving and caring about his son is the only shred of humanity left in him, if Luffy is the only thing Crocodile cares about anymore while believing no one else will ever do so for him, then having that feeling returned is the key to getting Crocodile to just start to heal. If his son can't accept and forgive him then what would it matter what anyone else thinks? In my mind, Luffy is The Sledgehammer that can break Crocodile's walls.

But that's the first layer, the first step to getting Crocodile to become vunerable

If he does have that betrayal-based trauma, then I think finding people who would actually follow him and be loyal to him would help him heal on that front. And... This probably sounds strange, but I think Mihawk is the best candidate for it. Not just because he could be to Croc what Zoro is to Luffy (in many ways), and not just because of the Romancing SaGa 2 comparisons, but because Crocodile does already seem to respect Mihawk on some level. Like he specifically invited Mihawk to start Cross Guild with. IDK if they have like shared history before or if it's just because they're Fellow Former Warlords or simply because he knows Mihawk is strong and in a vunerable position (after losing his Shichibukai Rights) or what, but despite Crocodile saying he doesn't trust people, he seems to trust Mihawk enough to invite him. And he seems to respect Mihawk's opinions on things, like he might view themselves as equals. So if Mihawk, The Greatest Swordsman In The World of all people, genuinely expressed faith and loyalty to Crocodile... Yeah, I think that would do a lot for Croc. Especially if Mihawk found out about Crocodile's baggage and chose to follow him despite/because of it.

But if we want Crocodile to Heal ALL THE WAY. He and Dragon need to have a talk.

Which will not be easy, considdering like.

Look at that fucking expression on the panel on the right. Dragon is more than likely beyond furious with Crocodile over what he did in Alabasta. And for good reason. And frankly, I can't tell if they can ever come back from that.

(Sidenote, but this page these panels are from (from Chapter 1058) follows immidiately after the page where Buggy introduces Crocodile and Mihawk to Cross Guild, Dragon's placement on the bottom right of this page matching perfectly where Crocodile was placed in the previous page. So considdering what Dragon says and the expression he makes... Man, if there ever was a way for Oda to tell us what Dragon thinks of Crocodile without explicitly having him say it, yeah, this would be it)

And I'm sure that even if Crocodile got over whatever heartbreak might've happened between him and Dragon and just moved on... The fact that Dragon never called Crocodile and warned him about their son being a pirate, with a bounty, who might be on his way to the Grand Line, where he could stumble his way to Alabasta, where Crocodile was famous for his Pirate Crushing Heroics mind you... Yeah. Crocodile would have a perfectly understandable reason to be furious at Dragon too. He almost killed their son without knowing because Dragon never warned him, never told their son's name to him, never told his OWN full name to Crocodile.

So needless to say.

They have a lot of differences to overcome. Things they've done that they'd both need to look past, forgive and forget. Somehow. And I'd be lying if I didn't admit I'd find it damn near impossible to happen.

But can you imagine, if despite everything, Dragon still loved him? And was sorry about whatever the fuck happened 19 years ago? And didn't want to lose him again?

I think that would be the thing that would help Crocodile heal all the way in the end.

If Luffy is the first step, then Dragon is the last.

#Moon posting #OP Meta #Crocodad #Sir Crocodile #Either that or Mihawk and Crocodile actually get together #Honestly doubt Dragodile will happen because. I can not imagine Oda giving us a canon gay couple #I would literally not complain at all I would lose my god damn mind (in a good way)#I just think Crocodile has too many deathflags (If Crocodad Real). Like he's probably going to sacrifice himself protecting someone else #Probably Luffy. Maybe Dragon. He's probably gonna die is the point.#It's more likely he dies loved and forgiven than gets to live loved and forgiven #But like I said that's a whole different post I've been struggling to write for almost two weeks now lmao #Mainly because the sheer amount of deathflags make me so impossibly sad I don't wanna pick it up again jdhgkfg

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screamingcrows · 21 days

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Guess who's thinking about Boothill again this morning... TLDR: I want to discuss what he could possibly be able to do and what effect that would have on his still very human brain and mind Since it's unclear how much of Boothill's internal structures (organs, muscles, nerves, bones) remain organic, and tw spoilers for his lightcone image (image isn't here but I reference it in one sentence lmao)

I'm going with 'not a lot' for this thought experiment, since we see wires hanging out of him in his LC. Consider again, what is his new body capable of? Let's take the good old 'robots drinking oil' ala Bender in Futurama. Boothill would most likely be fine from that if his gastrointestinal tract isn't organic but a series of tubes (going off of the assumption that his body is more like Screwllum rather than the puppet body of Herta and that he can in fact eat, because anything else would probably be hell for his human brain since it would still be processing stimuli like scent and visual, recognising food as essential for survival. I don't know about you but living with a constant reminder that I need something and being unable to do that thing sounds horrendous and I doubt Boothill would be as chill if that was the case). Since it's stated in "Geniuses' Repose" that Screwllum can safely drink motor oil, and he's the closest thing we have in game to Boothill, I'm assuming Boothill can do the same. But how does drinking motor oil affect his psyche? Consider the texture, the smell, the look and the connotations you have of motor oil. Not very pleasant, right? I sincerely hope Boothill can eat regular human food for the sake of his sanity. And I think it would make sense to implement as a feature, it's a different chemical conversion but I like to think they're more advanced than us with creating ex vivo metabolic conversions. It's "just" a matter of reaction chambers lining up and containing the right 'ingredients'. What if Boothill has senses that he doesn't want? A mechanical body has so many points of optimisation available. I'm thinking, evenly spread out or increased numbers of mechanoreceptors (those are the things in your skin that lets you feel when stuff touches you). Humans don't have a lot in certain places, like around your calf muscle, wouldn't it be weird to suddenly be hyperaware of anything going on in certain areas of your body? (yeah go on, make the 'incredibly sensitive dick' comment, I knew it was gonna go there) Did he go through a really uncomfortable period of getting used to what his body could do (thinking Connor in Detroit Become Human and how he can sample fluids and analyse them by taste which is incredibly gross but also pretty cool)

#i'm sorry for making no sense #this was typed in between university assignments #boothill #honkai star rail #hsr boothill #i want the horror #the body horror of not being what you remember #having to accept that you're fundamentally changed #and logically or objectively it might be for the better #but everything feels wrong #your brain and body giving mixed signals

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antimony-medusa · 1 year

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Okay so inspired by nothing in particular (it's inspired by reading the notes on the ace swag final poll, fun stuff in there), I have been thinking about being Cringe. Cause like, you enter a fandom, and usually, you find out shortly that somebody else hates that fandom. There is no fandom niche enough that it's not Weird to somebody, and there's no fandom mainstream enough that it's not Annoying to somebody else. And given the fact that some people do hatred recreationally, there's often going to be somebody mad enough about your fandom that they're going to go on diatribes about how your fandom is bad and actually harmful and destroying the fabric of civilization, etc. They're gonna pull out anything negative and blow it up until it's the size of the skyline and attack you for liking this negative thing.

Fun times, we've all seen it.

And the thing is, there's an impulse to have this happen and immediately find somebody else to point to and say, yeah, well, I might be weird, but at least I'm not THAT guy. I might read YA, but at least I'm not a Furry— those guys are sexual deviants! I might be into actual play podcasts, but at least I'm not into mcyt— those guys are all harmful and my guy is fine. I might be into danmei, but at least I'm not into bandom— rpf is so gross. I might be a furry, but at least I'm not into mainstream romance novels— senseless drivel aimed at middle class white women. Y'know. Immediately find someone to punch down on.

And boy do I understand why you want to do that, when people are pointing at you, but I don't actually think that it's helpful.

Cause like, every fandom has a logical train of thought and reasonable human impulses behind it. You might not share those impulses— I'm not a furry I don't think, I don't really get true crime— but that doesn't mean I can't have it explained to me by a very patient person in in the writer's workshop common room and go "oh, yeah, kinda pretending to be an animal, but you're gay about it, yeah, makes sense", or "oh yeah, morbid curiosity from the safety of your headphones, it's like a horror movie but real" and nod. Like there isn't a fandom or group out there that doesn't look weird from the outside, and there isn't a fandom or group that can't be explained if someone has thought about the human psyche enough.

And that isn't to say that there isn't sometimes salient critiques for what fandoms are doing or not doing— to grab the two examples above, I have heard people talking about issues with true crime reinforcing the current fucked up justice system, or bigotry at furry cons. But a) most of the time, there is already somebody inside that community that's fighting against those issues, and you just threw them under the bus with the problem they're trying to fix b) you don't usually know the nuances of the actual conversation and problems, you saw a couple callout posts. You saying "Yeah I'm a board game nerd but at least I don't play competitive trading card cames, those guys are doing nothing but feeding the capitalist machine" is not usually helpful towards fixing the ctg scene. It's just a cheap way to score points.

Like, I assure you that the YA scene is aware of the calcification of the genre into a tighter and tighter romantic form and their dependence on going big on tik-tok to sell enough to keep publishing. They know.

You specifically saying that your fandom is better cause it's not [problems you heard about other fandom having] is not actually going to make the person who's hating on you stop hating. They already decided that you're the person they're better than and that they're punching down on, you passing the punching down on to another fandom just makes more people sad on the internet, and potentially starts yet another chain of someone punching down at someone else. The wheel grinds on, everybody gets punched.

I guess this is just kinda turning into a "why hate on the internet, what good does that do" post, which is broader than I meant it to be. But like, there's a difference between thoughtful critique of problems (complicated to do fairly but very necessary) and finding someone new to curbstomp to make yourself feel better/morally superior (look, I'm writing this on a mcyt blog, we've all seen this happen, it does not increase the joy in the world).

Like in MCYT, we all decide to punch down on [other server we hate], or RPF, or people who write kidfic, or people who write e-rated fic/art, or people doing the popular trope of the moment, and sure, it lets you feel morally superior for the moment, at the cost of slapping the guy next to you. Haven't we had enough slapping the guy next to you? There but for the grace of god (got a fun idea/watched the wrong stream/ended up in the wrong brainstorming circle/got fixated on the wrong funny guy) goes I. You're not better than another group just because you saw a couple more callout posts (usually from people inside the community trying to fix things) about them.

We are all Cringe. There is nobody who's not Cringe. Don't say that you're not Cringe because someone else is more Cringe. Stop that.

#discourse #This is another thing where the public/private rule applies too I think #cause social media is public and what you do there is governed by different politeness rules #walking into your friend's dms and saying GOD I AM SO ANNOYED BY [other fandom] is a normal human impulse #posting that where other people can see that is potentially much more like shouting in the face of a random person #idk this is potentially something where me having a thousand followers is warping the perspective #cause I try to be really aware of the fact that who knows what people who see my posts are into #there's nobody I can throw under the bus and not have them see it #if you have eight followers all of which you know #you're much more effectively in a private space #idk #boy reading the tags on that ace swag poll was kinda a Oh Yeah They Really Hate Us moment #I forgot that cause I was just happy over here #but boy are we still an internet's favoured punching bag #and I just think making an effort to not continue to punching bag people might be good #fandom meta

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smashlovesscream · 7 months

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Songs that remind me of Stu and Billy

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OKAY, SO I HAVE THESE BY ALBUMS (I'll hear a song I like and make myself go through the whole album to make sure there aren't other songs I like.)

IGOR (By Tyler, The Creator)

New Magic Wand

I feel like this is pretty self-explanatory

"My brother said I'm on the spectrum

Don't call me selfish, I ain't sharin'

This 60-40 (isn't) workin'

I want a hundred of your time, you're mine,"

(Both point of view of Stu and Billy. Billy kind of wanted Stu to focus on him and surprisingly not in a relationship way but in general ‘cause in the start it was just them.)

"I wanna be found, passenger in your car (Don't leave)

You wanna be mean, mixed signals don't park (I can make her leave)

She's gonna be dead, I just got a magic wand (Don't leave)

We can finally be together,"

(Mostly Stu. Wanting to leave a mark on the world but with Billy, if Billy dies, he wants to be by his side. If Billy lives, he wants to be by his side but he’s conflicted with his sudden changes when it comes to his actions. One moment a display of love and another of disgust. He’s somewhat into it but confused as well.)

"Take one look in the mirror, implications so clear

I live life with no fear, except for the idea

That one day you won't be here

I will not fetch the ball,"

(Mostly Billy, of course he’s tricked himself into thinking “I love Stu but only because he’s the only person I have left.” kind of way. He doesn’t realize how much Stu matters, just like how he didn’t know how much his mom mattered until he left.)

"I got a plan, 'bout to walk in the pen

If you can't understand, I'm a hawk in the gym

Eyes on the prize, got weight on my chest

That I need to get off, or I ain't talkin' to them,"

(Also Billy, he has his eye on the ball. Nothing is getting in the way of killing his friends and terrorizing his town, he believes in the euphoric feeling he got when he killed Maureen and knows it’ll multiply by thousands once he’s done with Woodsboro.)

Puppet

Honestly, the entire song is just Stuilly (Mostly stu point of view, he knows he’s gonna follow, he’s gonna obey with his little snarky comments and his small acts of deficiency but nothing to ruin Billy and his mindset.)

Are We Still Friends?

"Don't get green skin (green skin), keep contact (keep contact)

Don't say, "Goodbye, smell you later" (bye, later)

Nah, I can't

I don't want to end this season on a bad episode, , nah,"

I feel like this describes when the plan kinda goes to shit and Billy leaves Stu in the kitchen, then Stu tackles Sidney, and they both die. (Both of their POVs, the first two being Stu and Billy being the last two. )

THERE IS A LOT MORE SONGS THAT IS STUILLY CODED IN THAT ALBUM BUT I LIKE THOSE THE MOST

PARALYTIC STALKS (By xxofMontrealxx)

We Will Commit Wolf Murder

"Something's terrorizing my psyche to get even

Lately, you're the only human

I believe in,"

"Now I'm considered ugly

From every angle

You're the only beauty

I don't want to strangle,"

(Billy's point of view, I really like how this song reminds me of this good disgusting feeling you get with someone. Anyways, how this fits him is his mom just left him, his dad betrayed his family, Sidney’s mother is to blame, Sidney can’t know nor will she even believe Billy, Randy isn’t as close to Billy like Stu is therefore he’s the one, he’s the purest thing right now.)

"I want to get all fucked up

And tell you how I really feel

(Billy again, feeling scared to admit he’s scared, sad, upset, angry, and overall feeling things but it’s digging at his throat and he wants to break down and dismantle in front of his partner in crime. His best friend. But can he really? Maybe with a push.)

Because your vibrant blackness

Coco artery is so unreal,"

(Stu this time because Billy is like a black hole that Stu loves. To Stu, Billy is that night time cold that is perfect to hide under the covers, the sun that beats on his back while he does yard work, and the thing that makes him feel seen.)

"When I die I want you to die too

Not try to stay in this all

In a dimension without you

Spit on this planet without you,"

(BOTH OF THEM OFC, THEY JUST WANNA BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER.)

AND THERE IS SO MANY MORE LINES BUT THESE ARE MY FAVORITES AND I EVEN SKETCHED OUT SOME OF THESE LYRICS

Sports (By Modern Baseball)

Re-Do

"I wanna complete re-do, maybe change my name

Report the losses grab the claim, it's a shame it's such a shame

We're pissing away our time 'cause we're pissing away these beers

No monumental moment ever came from saying

"Come on dude, just take one more shot","

"Maybe I could just move away or go extinct like a triceratops

But I love loving, watching movies, sitting back and also breathing

My family and friends would be crushed, but is it enough?

(Oh no, it's not enough)

Oh, the future freaks me out, but I guess I could just

Curl up in a ball and think,"

Now, this song is mostly an AU I've created in my head where Stu wakes up after dying and tries to change Billy's mind about killing the friend group. Not 'cause he dislikes killing but because he wants to live with Billy.

She Wants Revenge (By She Wants Revenge)

Red Flags and Long Nights

"You can occupy my every sigh

You can rent the space inside my mind

At least until the price becomes too high,"

(I feel like this could be about Tatum 'cause the "price" being her demise? If that makes sense, Stu's POV.)

"I can find a reason that we should quit

I can find a reason to do it

I can find excuses for all my shit

She tells me just to work right through it

(Mostly Stu thinking about Billy, stringing him along to the plan, catching his feelings for him.)

She's pretty, and I like her but she's too well

'Cause I need red flags and long nights, and she can tell

It's not that it's my fault, it's just my style

Beginning with a look and then a smile,"

(Stu when he's with Tatum 'cause as I said in an earlier post, Tatum is like the sane Billy.)

Tear You Apart

"Its cute in a way, till you cannot speak

And you leave to have a cigarette, your knees get weak

An escape is just a nod and a casual wave

Obsessed about it, heavy for the next two days,"

(Stu being in love lol??? Idk but it's just giving me them vibes)

"It's only just a crush, it'll go away

It's just like all the others it'll go away

Or maybe this is danger and he just don't know

You pray it all away but it continues to grow,"

(BILLY IGNORING HIS HOMO THOUGHTS!!!!)

"I want to hold you close

Skin pressed against me tight

Lie still, and close your eyes girl

So lovely, it feels so right,"

"I want to hold you close

Soft breasts, beating heart

As I whisper in your ear

I want to fucking tear you apart,"

(IT'S THEM GUYS!! THEY WANNA BE IN EACH OTHER'S SKINS!!!)

Basically the rest of the song is like this!! AGSJ

#scream #scream movie #scream 1996 #Stuilly songs #songs #song list #stu macher #stu #macher #billy loomis #billy #loomis #stuilly #stu and billy #billy and stu #stu x billy #billy x stu

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itsnot-cat · 2 months

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Klaroline WIP Wednesday

Current title: Should of Called Dibs

Current Summary: Its Mystic Falls 25 year High School reunion. Somethings have changed, somethings are eternal.

This is a little something from an idea thats been at me for a while. Advice is welcome!

Also title ideas! Any title ideas would be very helpful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh my god is that Klaus!?”

Elena angrily whispers to Damon, even though she was surrounded by vampires, who could hear everything. Caroline sighs. she starts to psych herself up “OK Forbes you prepared for this. “ She rolls her shoulders back,and turns to face Eleana with her best Miss Mystic Falls smile, she gives Elena a brief hug and peck on the cheek. “ Elena! It is so good to see you. You look amazing. How are the kids? “ Caroline gushes.

“Really, Caroline pleasantries?”, her body's shaking with anger. “You're gonna ignore it? You brought Klaus with you.” Elena seethes, wide eyes filled with betrayal. Carloine tries to calm Elena down. “No ‘Lena, I was just waiting until we weren't at a public airport. “ Croline says as she gestures around.

Elena glares. She looks between the Originals and Caroline.

“let's talk on the way to the gym. We need your help setting up, Care. We'll drive separately.” she glares at the originals and walks away. Damon follows, sneering at Caroline.

“Its your call sweetheart,” Klaus says. Looking towards the retreating doppelgänger with detest. Rebekah snorts with clear disdain.

Caroline sighs “C’mon, I'll meet you at the gym and it'll be better if I talk to her first separately anyways. Caroline squeezes Klaus's hand then follows Elena.

Having to run to catch up.

Klaus looks back at Rebekah as they wait for baggage.

“Are you ready for this weekend,Nik? Because I have a feeling that that is not the last time, she’ll be walking away from you. Rebekah mocks as she turns away. She points to the servant to grab the baggage and heads to the car. Klaus growls, hands wring through his curls, down his face. He knew this weekend would be a test he's just not sure for who.

----

Caroline got in the back seat. Knowing Klaus will remember to get her bags along with his own.

Damon is glaring at her through the rearview mirror. Caroline glares right back.

“ Klaus!”

“I know 'lena"

"Klaus!” Elena repeats. As though just saying the name says everything she needs to. Caroline supposes it does.

Caroline regrets not warning Elena beforehand. At the time, she thought it better than Elena figuring out an excuse to cancel. But based on Elena's face, she might have underestimated Elena's lingering anger from the events in high-school.

“ I'm sorry to spring this on you, Elena. I know you will never forgive Klaus, and I'm not asking you too. All I'm asking is for you to accept we're together”

Elena scoffs. “ It's not that simple! He killed Jenna! Plus I’m human again!How do I not know he isn't here to kidnap and steal my blood!!” Elena fires back.

“I know it isn't simple! And I know he's done a lot of bad things but it's been 25 years already!" Carlone argues back.

"Plus, all of us have done some really bad things, including you, Elena.” Caroline mentions softly at the end.

“What are you even talking about right now?” Elena exclaims, angrily running her hands through her hair

“Let's just get to the gym, and I can talk to everyone all at once. “ Caroline says

“Whatever , Care.” Elena sighs, Turning up the radio and staring straight ahead.

Caroline leans her head back and closes her eyes.

“ It's gonna be a long weekend” Caroline thinks.

#klaroline WIP wed #klaroline

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onglai · 3 months

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Analyzing Ali's neglect

Today we're gonna look at the extent of emotional neglect in Ali's household, the cause, and the damage it has on Ali's psyche.

It's well established that Dr. Ghazali is not a perfect dad, but at the same time he's not a villainous caritature either. He's simply human. There will be no bashing in this post, though I'm definitely criticizing a lot of his methods.

Part 1: Cause

Before the events of Ejen Ali, Dr. Ghazali was a cheerful man living with his happy family of three consisting of himself, his wife Aliya, and his toddler-aged son Ali. Aliya too was living her best life as an undercover agent, acknowledged as one of their best in the agency.

Sadly for everyone, one person wanted too much power for himself. Uno, formerly Djin, wanted too much power for himself and installed a backdoor program in IRIS. This backdoor would later become some kind of a sick joke when Niki tried to attack Cyberaya by taking over the city's missiles and launch it towards a civillian populated area. Normally, IRIS's processing power is limited but the backdoor Uno installed allowed it access to the city's mainframe, thus allowing Aliya to redirect the missiles... in exchange for her life.

We don't know whether Ghazali is aware that MATA is involved in the events leading her death considering he's a Cyberaya pioneer, so I'll leave that to you speculate. What we can be sure of however is he was not the same after her death.

From a cheery man, he became reclusive. And this is where his family of now two starts to break.

Part 2: Effect

Now, we don't know how old Ali was when Aliya died, but we can assume it was when he was old enough to understand the concept of death.

Ghazali started to shut himself, preferring to bury himself in his work by using his busyness as an excuse. Being a child, Ali obviously couldn't process his emotion with his two anchors gone. Even their cat, Labu, went missing, a fact Ali would later hung onto and project onto Comot.

While it's not mentioned anywhere on screen, with likely with no healthy outlet for his emotion, Ali became much like his dad and made his home his safe haven. Did you ever see this kid playing sports before Bakar barged into his life? Yeah.

Ali would later find a best friend in the form of Viktor, the only support system he had at the beginning of the series.

While they are distant, Ghazali would still provide Ali with money. Otherwise though, Ali was on his own. When he got into trouble or misbehaved, Ghazali would only scold Ali and tell him to grow up despite the fact that he likely never was home to discipline his son in the first place.

Melentur buluh dari rebungnya as people would say.

For what it's worth, Ghazali does love Ali. There's no doubt about that. But emotion isn't his strong suite so he leans into what he does best; be a money machine.

Part 3: Damage

Ali became undisciplined, prone to outbursts, lacked tact, and was generally disgareeble due to his rather obnoxious nature. Why do you think he had no other friends at school?

He had good qualities, like his heroic and kind side, but they were overshadowed by his attention-seeking behavior leading to him becoming reckless and impulsive as we've discussed in this post.

His education was also not so good. Whether he was really a slow learner or just had no motivation to study, his self-esteem issue caused him to spiral more and more downwards whenever his bad grades were brought up.

Other than his lack of social circles, he also didn't have a proper parental figure, causing him to latch onto anyone that gives him the time of the day. Bakar, Jenny, Rizwan, Niki, his junior agent friends. Heck, even Alicia.

And the worst thing? Every single time he wanted to chase over his idolized adult figures, he pushed away everyone else. Yes, every time. First time happened with Rizwan when he shrugged Bakar and Comot off in season 1. Second time also for Rizwan when he alienated Viktor during season 2. In the movie, Ali argued with Alicia and deserted MATA as a result just because of Niki.

Which is why season 3 was such a blessing. It's amazing watching him change so much throughout the series. And while it's painful seeing who he used to be, it's more inspiring to see who he has become.

Part 4: Prediction

Ali isn't a vengeful person. So we know he'd never hate his dad even once he realizes what the man's lack of parenting had done to him.

My prediction is that Ali's gonna be the one who's going to take the initiative to heal Ghazali's grief. I don't think we're gonna see a full-blown father-son fight in season 4, if ever. Ali knows he's not the only one hurting from his mom's death, so he definitely won't use it as an ammo against his dad.

Honestly, I wonder if Ali's even gonna confront his dad about the issue directly. He's emotionally healthier now, but that doesn't mean he won't keep some things to himself like he used to do. Habits die hard.

I just hope their relationship gets resolved (and hopefully not by magic) by the end of the series. Not sure if the Misi: Resipi video is canon, but I do want to see more of these warm interactions in the future

#ejen ali #emotional neglect #ali ghazali #dr ghazali #character study #analysis #rant

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bi-bard · 2 years

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Theoretical - Nigel Imagine (Charlie Countryman)

Title: Theoretical

Pairing: Nigel X Reader

Word Count: 787 words

Warning(s): mentions of violence

Summary: (Y/n) and Nigel had an interesting habit of running into each other. Nigel thinks it's some kind of a sign. (Y/n) has other theories.

Author's Note: I found an excuse to ramble about psychology! Hell yeah! (Oh, if you didn't know, I'm a psych student)

Also, I don't know if I captured his character at all.

------------------------------

"We need to stop meeting like this, my dear."

I would've rolled my eyes at Nigel's comment if it wasn't for the wound in my arm.

"I've got you," he promised, helping me off the ground. "There you go. Let's get that taken care of."

We did have a tendency to meet like this. Somehow in a mess of action, Nigel and I would be found face-to-face. One of us usually hurt. I would help him get better. He would help me get better.

Over the course of our meetings, we grew closer.

I knew how I felt about him. His flirting seemed to make it very clear how he felt about me.

But there was enough happening. Our lives were much easier without relying on each other. No one needs a weak point. Why volunteer for it?

I kept my distance. I would shut him down whenever I needed to. Not harshly. Just firmly.

It all seemed to take a turn this time. It was different. I could tell.

I was sitting on a sink counter in a shitty motel room. Nigel was grabbing the first aid kit that I carried everywhere.

"Your commitment to this little first aid kit is almost admirable," he said as he walked into the bathroom.

"You say that like it doesn't get the job done," I muttered.

He grinned, chuckling at me, "I'm shocked you haven't run out of supplies."

"I keep it stocked just for our run-ins."

"How sweet," he replied. I rolled my eyes at him. "Maybe we could get better supplies if we just stayed together."

I scoffed.

"Move your shirt off of the wound," he instructed before I could respond with something sarcastic.

"There's this effect," I said as Nigel cleaned the wound on my arm. "Misattribution of arousal. Our bodies are sent into aroused states and then we see someone. Our brains associate that aroused state with the person, essentially ignoring the other cause."

"So, my attraction isn't attraction..."

"It's because we were just in a high-stress situation."

He hummed, "You're wrong."

"How so?"

"I feel the same emotions for you when we're not in 'high-stress' situations."

"Have we interacted outside of a high-stress situation," I chuckled.

"Have we not?"

I shook my head.

"Well, that's just no good then."

I scoffed as he finished wrapping my arm.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing," I shrugged it off before looking down at my arm. "Thank you for your help. I'm gonna head home."

"Wait," he asked as I made my way to the door. "Do you really think all of this is just that misattribution thing?"

I paused, grinning, "I didn't say that."

He raised an eyebrow at me, a small smirk sitting on his face.

I sighed, "Humans are... horrendously complex. Every rule or effect has exceptions. Every social effect, every theory surrounding personality, all of it has gaps. Giving finite answers is almost impossible. I... I just simply can't give you a complete answer."

"I don't think it is."

Nigel walked over to me and grabbed my hand.

"What are the other causes of attraction?"

"Reward theory," I said. "We are usually more attracted to people we associate with good things. Rewarding experiences. We tend to go for people similar to us. There's actually very little evidence to support the 'opposites attract' thing. There are obvious like physical attractiveness. There's the mere exposure effect, granted that has exceptions- what are you doing?"

Nigel had stepped closer. He was close. Far too close. It made my heartbeat speed up.

"You son of a bitch," I scoffed, trying to play off any nervousness. "Try to make me ramble so you could get closer."

"I would never," he replied sarcastically. "Just wanted to find something to use against your misattribution of arousal theory."

"I did just say that I couldn't claim that's all there was."

"You are attracted to me."

I sighed, "Nigel-"

He cupped the sides of my face. Any comment or argument I had died on my tongue.

"I don't want any explanations or reasons or excuses," he muttered. "I want a chance."

"A chance?"

"A real chance."

I leaned in and kissed him gently. It was brief. Hesitant. Nigel seemed okay with that. At least that's the impression I got from his smile as I leaned back.

"I never thought you'd be a romantic," I muttered.

"Maybe you should let me prove you wrong."

I bit the inside of my cheek, "Maybe."

With that, I pulled the door to the room open and walked out. He didn't follow me or try to stop. He respected the 'maybe' because he knew that it meant he had a far better chance than he did a while ago.

------------------------------

Masterlist (Includes links to All Writing Challenges)

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

#nigel imagine #nigel fanfiction #nigel x reader #nigel charlie countryman imagine #nigel charlie countryman fanfiction #nigel charlie countryman x reader #fanfiction #imagine #x reader #charlie countryman imagine #charlie countryman fanfiction #charlie countryman x reader #mads mikkelsen imagine #mads mikkelsen fanfiction #mads mikkelsen x reader

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generaltrashshecox · 4 months

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Wip List 2024

So I'm bored and just feeling bleh still so I decided to talk about all my wips that I'm working on currently! Inspired by my friend @punk-gremlin!!

Can You Make Me Believe in Tiring: I usually don't have titles for fics before I'm done but this one just works I feel it was perfect! (I also just had the song stuck in my head...) It's the fic I've been talking about where Anthony uses Damien as a way to cope with not having Ian while Damien is having his first crush on a man with him so it's all fucked up and confusing. I can't wait to finish it, honestly.

And If There's a God Then I'm Letting Him Go: another fic title after the same song but it's also the sequel to Temptation Touched My Tongue (Spread the Wings of Desire). Demon!Anthony wagers angel!Damien whose powers are stronger by using a human and seeing what sticks to him: light or dark. And they choose a man of the cloth for "Damien's advantage" but Anthony just wants to corrupt him. And who do they choose other than priest Ian!

Shian cheating fic: I've talked about this one before: Shayne and Ian are hanging out at the office working on a few things and Ian's stressed. His (secret) relationship with Anthony is rocky and Defy isn't making it any better and he's tired and overworked and hasn't had sex in weeks- Shayne tries to comfort him and one thing leads to another and then he's fucking him in the bean bag chair. Afterwards Ian feels guilty and runs away. Good stuff!

A Paradise Full of Lies: how could I forget my first posted shian fic? It's going through a bit of a rewrite (not changing the plot just making it read and feel a bit smoother and canon) so it's taking a while and I apologize but I'm hoping when it's done it'll be what you all are waiting for! It's gonna hurt I'm just gonna say that it hurts me 😭

Someone sees something they shouldn't fic: another one I talked about where someone sees Anthony and Damien being intimate without their knowledge. They're sweet and touchy feely and then when it gets a little too much the person leaves.

A fic where Damien and Anthony "accidentally" hang out alone together: aka the fic where their friends set up a hang out and then bail so Damien finally mans up. It's a bit awkward but they find they have a lot in common and it slowly becomes more comfortable for them. Fluff fluff fluff truly.

Pre-Smosh fic: a fic where Anthony and Damien meet before he works at Smosh and hits it off and one thing leads to another and they hook up. Idk just cute leather worker Damien and stressed about to leave due to defy Anthony I just find interesting!

Non-Smosh

So I got into a little show called Psych and fell in love (again...) So I had a few ideas I don't know if they'll ever come to fruition but I feel like writing them down (and if you've seen this on a different account... That's my side account 🫣🫣)

Gus Walks Into the Bank au: an au where it's not some random guy that gets caught up in the mess but an actual terrifying bank robbery and Shawn is scared shitless. He does everything to get inside and takes matters into his own hands (take like... Shawn Takes a Shot in the Dark, the Yin/Yang trilogy, and Santabarbratown as how serious it is) and by the end of it he finally confesses to Gus.

Gus is Shawn's Babygirl Canon: not the name but a truth lol. Shawn calls Gus babygirl and he likes it a little too much... Embarrassingly so. And what does Shawn love if not to tease?

#smosh #smosh ships #psych #wips #my wips #tell me what y'all think #fanfic writing #fanfiction

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the-bejeesus · 9 months

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We asked every Straw Hat what they were gonna do July 21st. Here's how they answered

"Barbie?":

Luffy - "Yeah! Usopp better come with me." Zoro - "Looks like a great room to nap." Nami - "Gonna take fashion notes while I watch." Usopp - "Yeah! Luffy better come with me." Sanji - "Isn't that a girly movie? No." Chopper - "Is that even a question? IT'S SO CUTE!!!" Vivi - "I loved the way everyone treats their friends in the trailer! Of course!" Nico Robin - "It's a bit too high energy for me. Maybe after a few drinks." Franky - "I'm going in wasted!!" Brook - "Heard there were no panties." Jimbei - "Is Luffy going? Then yeah."

"Pikmin 4?":

Luffy - "Dandori? Just take me to the biggest guy and I'll kick his ass myself!" Zoro - "You collect three swords and don't even get to use them? Lame." Nami - "There's so much exploration! I really wanna learn all the caves and areas and get a hang of navigating it all!" Usopp - "In Pikmin, I'm a brave captain who commands over 800 Pikmin!! The whole grub dog family fears my name!!" Sanji - "Isn't that a girly game? Not really you say? Not risking it." Chopper - "It's so cute! I wish my Pikmin didn't get eaten so much, so I get as many bomb rocks as I can." Vivi - "It's a cute game, but I don't understand why anyone has to die!! Quite frankly I feel mislead." Nico Robin - "Finally, a nature game with one of its most important elements: mortality." Franky - "There's no cola treasure? Just lids?" Brook - "What a delightful little game! I love pretending I'm tiny." Jimbei - "A captain who swarms his own men at a dangerous threat, unwilling to fight it himself, is no captain at all!"

"Oppenheimer?":

Luffy - "I don't know who this guy was in history. If it's that important, Nami will explain it to me." Zoro - "I heard the bomb he builds is pretty big. I wonder if I'm stronger than it." Nami - "This movie focuses too much on the negative in life." Usopp - "I'm excited to see Nolan's movie! He's one of my favorite directors, ever since The Dark Knight. I really like how they don't use CGI as often as possible, and the way they get as much real things as they can on camera. Leaving Warner Bros. after the release of Tenet is certainly going to im—" Sanji - "The boys had their fun. Now it's the men's turn." Chopper - "I've already seen people blow up in explosions, I'm good." Vivi - "As haunting as it is, it is truly a glimpse of history that ought to be appreciated." Nico Robin - "I'll see any movie that's based on a true story or has a grim, noir aesthetic. And this movie has both." Franky - "Always psyched to see a movie about a SUPER inventor!" Brook - "I remember that Oppenheimer fellow, he was a depressing man." Jimbei - "I'm intrigued to see a movie that glimpses into humanity's own freightening capabilities and reflects on our nature to use scientific advancement for war."

#I know this is late #But I really wanted to get a better feel of Barminheimer before posting #One Piece #Barminheimer

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greenlantern94to04 · 6 months

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Green Lantern #48 (January 1994)

"EMERALD TWILIGHT," Part 1! Good ol' Hal Jordan isn't in a great place right now. Not only did some rude supervillains from another comic dislocate his arm, but they also wiped out the city Hal grew up in and everyone who lived in it (except for his best friend and his two legal-age, non-alien romantic interests, as revealed last issue). The good news is that the arm thing heals pretty quickly in this issue.

The bad news is that Hal's psyche... does not. Hence him using his Green Lantern ring to conjure up a green ghost of his long-dead father, as seen above. Hal tells his dad that he resents him for always patting his brothers on the back but never taking two seconds to tell Hal he was proud of him. Ghost Dad replies that his brothers simply accomplished more than Hal, but Hal is like "Dude! I'm Green Lantern! Come on!" and points out everything he's done in his superheroing career. Ghost Dad's reply: "Didn't do much to save Coast City, did you?" Then he steps into a Ghost Plane that explodes in front of a distraught Hal, just like when he was a kid.

Next, Hal's mother shows up (also as a green ghost) and lovingly tells him to move the fuck on, because the pain and loss he feels are "dangerous things" that could "ruin him" if he doesn't let them go. She tells him to "be satisfied with the memories" as she fades away, but Hal shouts that memories aren't enough, dammit. He wants Coast City back! If only he had something that could make that happen, like a power ring or some-- ohhh, right.

So, he makes it happen: he uses the ring to make the entire city come back, exactly as it was. Only, you know, green.

As he's floating across Ghost Coast City feeling like God, Hal runs into his childhood sweetheart, Jessica, and they reminisce for a while, which is kinda sweet until you remember he's talking to himself. She mentions that she died when the city exploded, but adds: "Nobody blames you. We're just happy you're doing this for us." Next, Hal stops by his parents' old house and his dad, who is in a much sunnier mood now, repeats the same sentiment as Jessica: "everybody" appreciates what Hal is doing for Coast City.

In fact, it looks like Hal's dad is finally about to tell him he's proud of him... when he fades away, along with the entire city.

Hal's Green Lantern ring has ran out of juice. Suddenly, a Guardian of the Universe (as in one of Hal's bosses, not a friend of He-Man) shows up in the form of a projection to tell Hal that using your power ring to recreate your entire city after it was blown up by Superman villains is explicitly against Green Lantern rules. I guess this is the superhero equivalent of being fired over Zoom? Anyway, the Guardian tells Hal that he must surrender his ring and prepare to be transported to their planet, Oa. That's when we find out that scolding your mentally unbalanced employees using a projection they can absorb to make themselves more powerful isn't a great idea.

Hal says: "Oh, I'll come back to Oa all right... but you're not gonna like me when I get there." As Hal flies off to space with murder in his eyes, two young lovebirds chilling in the desert spot him in the night sky and mistake him for a falling star that's going the wrong way. They seem nice. Let's all get very invested in their continued well-being!

Plotline-Watch:

That last page is the first appearance of Kyle Rayner, future protagonist of this comic, and Alexandra DeWitt, future inspirer of a messed-up trope name. When I first read this comic I got the impression they were hooking up in Coast City's crater, possibly because they got their rocks off on human misery. But no, I guess it was just a regular night desert picnic elsewhere in California.

Hal's parents had previously debuted in the Green Lantern: Emerald Dawn (1989) miniseries that retold Hal's origin, so their appearance in a storyline called "Emerald Twilight" is fitting. I like the attention to detail when Hal remembers/recreates the explosion that killed his dad: he even included his childhood cap flying off. (Would it have killed them to use the same sound effect, though?)

Given the fact that Hal hadn't lived in Coast City for years at this point and that no one that close to him died in the blast, I'm kinda intrigued by the idea that his mental breakdown was less about losing the city and more about his unresolved issues with his dad and with handling grief in general. We'll see if that interpretation holds up in future Hal appearances. (I will not entertain theories about the breakdown being caused by a yellow space bug.)

As a kid, I was always curious about Hal's brothers, who are briefly mentioned in this issue. I always kinda assumed they'd died in Coast City, but it was revealed in the early 2000s that they both happened to be in other cities and were alive and well. It's just that no one had bothered to check in on them until then.

Guy-Watch:

This is the section in which I'll look at whatever's going on with former Green Lantern (and current "What the hell do we do with this character?") Guy Gardner every month, though I reserve the right to make full posts about his comic once Beau Smith takes over as writer because I'm a huge fan of that run. Guy Gardner #16 is mostly about Guy duking it out with his idol, General Glory (kind of like Captain America meets Shazam/Captain Marvel), because Glory saw Guy's evil alien twin murder someone in a previous issue. Eventually, Guy convinces Glory that he didn't kill anyone by having Wonder Woman tie him up with the lasso of truth. Cue predictable Guy Gardner joke.

The issue also introduces a typical '90s super-soldier dude (big guns, psychotic, wriggly colored lines around his word balloons) called Militia, who is hired to kill Guy and seems pretty eager to do it, as if they already knew each other. Militia himself isn't as important as the organization that hired him, Quorum, which will also poke its nose into the Green Lantern comic with rather infamous results...

NEXT ON GREEN LANTERN '94 TO '04: Everyone dies!

#green lantern #ron marz #bill willingham #darryl banks #hal jordan #coast city #guardians of the universe #kyle rayner #alexandra dewitt #guy gardner #wonder woman #militia #quorum #dc comics #ghost dad #please don't ask me to explain the legal-age non-alien romantic interest line

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