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marylikesstuff · 2 years

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Hi, I’d like to gush about my new favorite character. Have a very long winded essay about why I love Hunter de Vil under the cut.

Warning: Spoilers for 101 Dalmatian Street (especially the season one finale) as well as discussion of abuse.

Hunter de Vil is an antagonist on 101 Dalmatian Street. In early episodes of the show he lurks around ominously in the background.

Eventually he’s revealed to be the grandnephew of Cruella de Vil, and is helping her in trying to catch the decedents of the original dalmatian family from the 1960s. All so Cruella can finally get the coat she’s wanted for literal decades now.

Ok, so characters who start off as villains but deflect to the good side over the course of the story are everywhere nowadays. And though I’ll always be a sucker for this trope personally, I can understand why others might be sick of it due to over-saturation.

But Hunter de Vil struck a chord with me, and I think it’s because the show didn’t try to sugarcoat his abuse.

A lot of time (not always, but a lot of the time) when I see abuse victims in fiction, the negative side effects are hardly (if ever) shown in order to keep the character sympathetic in the eyes of the audience.

With Hunter though, the show equally paints him as both villain and victim. It’s a level of nuance I greatly appreciate.

Plus I was honest-to-god taken aback by what ends up happening to the kid. It’s so absurdly overkill.

This boy, who has been used and manipulated his whole life to do his great aunt’s bidding (all in a hopeless attempt to gain familial love) gets locked in a metal box for SIX MONTHS for his trouble.

The isolation literally drives this kid insane. Not only does he come out unhinged, he also has episodes where he blacks out and thinks he’s a dog. It’s deeply unsettling.

But does great aunt Cruella care? Ha, of course not. She tells him point blank that she didn’t even notice he was missing. All she cares about is her end goal of finally getting that damn coat, and if Hunter can’t get it for her, she’ll disown him from the de Vil family completely.

Hunter doesn’t realize how pointless his efforts are. Nothing he does will ever please his only living family member, but desperate and at rock bottom, he continues to try.

It’s both frightening and tragic to watch. His anger and violent lashing out are not painted in a softer, more palatable light. They’re brutally real.

And like I said, they do not sugarcoat that this kid has been abused. It’s made chillingly clear in the way he breaks down into frightened tears whenever Cruella raises her voice, even during a phone call. And when he’s actually in her presence, he flinches back and cowers in fear.

But you wanna know what the most screwed up part is? He still wants to please his abuser. He still strives for praise. Any tiny scrap of something that even vaguely resembles affection. It’s scary because it’s so realistic to real life abuse victims.

Thanks to his efforts, Hunter and his great aunt actually succeed in capturing the dalmatian family during the season one finale. It’s a near villain victory, until the horrible truth finally comes out and paints everything Hunter has done so far into a new light.

Apparently, this whole time, Hunter was under the impression that Cruella was merely going to have the dogs shaved to get her coat. That they’d be grumpy and bald, but otherwise fine.

Given how young Hunter is, and how he has a pet cat who is also completely hairless but otherwise healthy, I can understand where the ignorant misunderstanding came from.

Hunter reveled in being a bad kid, but he’s still got a moral line.

So he is rightly horrified when he learns the truth. That these dogs are absolutely going to DIE.

And not just die. DIE GRUESOMELY.

It’s wild just how dark this finale is. Cruella has an honest to god Death Machine built, and not only plans to have each cute puppy go through it individually, but she also ties up the pups’ parents in the same the room so they can watch.

Disney cartoon finales don’t play around. Goddamn.

Hunter objects to killing the dogs, which Cruella merely shrugs off. After all, she already got what she wanted. Her grandnephew did his job and is no longer useful to her, so she has him locked up with the dogs.

This is the most nightmarish scenario possible for Hunter. Remember, he was trapped in this same crate alone for six damn months, and now he’s back there again with an army of puppies who are very justifiably angry at him.

It had to be a living hell. Trapped and having no choice but to face his biggest fear, as well as his own overwhelming guilt. All Hunter can do is pathetically try to explain himself. But even then, he can only crumble into tears.

And here it is. The part that gutted me. Like dang it, puppy show. I went into you expecting cute shenanigans. I didn’t sign up for THIS.

“I just want to belong to someone. I’m all alone in the world. You all have each other. You’re a... family.”

It kills me how he words it. Instead of saying he wants to be loved, he says he wants to “belong” to someone. Like he values himself so little.

The puppies, being good dogs and all, take pity on the kid. They’re just kids themselves, and it had to be sobering to see their once most hated enemy at his most vulnerable.

Hunter and the puppies are soon placed elsewhere, so that Cruella can start feeding them into her death machine. And just to add to Hunter’s trauma, he’s placed in a dog crate.

Cruella was going to force him to watch as well. I’m sure that wouldn’t have destroyed what’s left of the kid’s already fragile, diminishing sanity.

Luckily, this being a kid’s show, things turn out all right in the end. Hunter and the dalmatians escape and fight back, but Hunter has one last showdown with his great aunt.

This is my favorite scene in the whole show. It’s the expressions that make it for me. The artists did such a great job making us feel Hunter’s fear and anguish.

And I love that Dorothy (the youngest pup) is the one he happens to end up protecting. She was the one he’d first kidnapped episodes beforehand, so it’s great to see the contrast in who he was back then to who he is now.

It’s nothing short of gratifying when he finally stands up to his abuser. It had to be the hardest thing he’s ever done.

Not only because he’s been deathly afraid of her his entire life, but also fiercely loyal. He did everything for this woman because all he ever wanted was to be loved back.

Those pained tears speak more than any words ever could.

Cruella is arrested and the dalmatian family goes home. It’s a happy ending.

But things are left kind of ambiguous for Hunter. On the one hand, he’s free. But on the other hand, since his only family is now in prison, what’s going to happen to him?

The kid is still very much traumatized, and he still often blacks out and thinks he’s a dog. It’s a twisted fate, honestly. And since the show has been cancelled due to Disney not advertising it and letting it die on a channel almost nobody has, it looks like there’s not going to be any real resolution for this kid.

Breaks my heart, but I at least appreciate what I got: the story of an abuse victim who, even though he managed to somewhat overcome his situation, was still left scarred by it.

And that’s why I love Hunter de Vil.

He’s tragically what surviving abuse looks like (albeit minus the dog quirk). It’s rare to come out of a bad situation as the perfect victim. The sad truth is that you’re gonna come out of it with messy, negative aspects too.

But that doesn’t make you less worthy of sympathy and help.

TLDR: I like Hunter because he is a good tragic villain. He’s simultaneously gremlin AND baby.

#101 dalmatian street #hunter de vil

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lil-melody-moon · 1 year

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Thank you @lovely-menza for tagging me <3 This is the first time I'm doing such a post, as in, answering for questions in the post, without it being an ask game, so let's roll with it!

Are you named after anyone? Nope, my mom just heard the name on a party one day and she loved it ever since. And that's why I am named how I am named

When was the last time you cried? In the last year, quite a few months ago. It was connected with being laughed at by a close person due to him being after one beer and him not being able to drink at his age. And let's leave it at that

Do you have kids? Nope, but I would like to, if I find a good guy. I mean, I don't want a random weirdo or a creep in my life. I'm either getting a good guy or I'm living alone, without a care - I mean I have music...

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Only when i'm joking. Other than that, I'm brutally honest

What's the first thing you notice about people? Their eyes or smile. It's usually the eyes though. You can fake a smile, be more kinder with it, if you intend to do so. But eyes? You can't hide anything behind them. If you have bad intentions, it is shown in the way you look at someone. I usually am looking in the eyes when speaking to someone and when they speak to me I do the same. Let me tell you one thing - you can get scared shitless when you hear kind words and the person's eyes shine in a very bad way and you know they have bad intentions. I like to know if I'm safe or not

What's your eye colour? They are hazel. Once blue, the other time green, some other time gray blue or gray entirely or kinda white if I feel ill. Mom says that I usually have gray eyes when I'm very sleepy

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings. I like to see the adventure presented in the media I'm watching have a good ending. Additional point if I like the characters! Then it's double the fun to see them happy at the very end

Any special talents? Maybe it's not a special talent, but I can hear wrong notes in a song very often, catch the rhythm of the song - oh boy, if it's changing during the song then I have so much fun with listening to it! - and memorize the entire melody if I hear the song a lot of times. I literally sometimes sit and play the entire song in my head if it's too quiet. I did that on the last test on statistics! Hehe, silence in class and I was listening to Scars on Broadway in my head while counting - got an A, that proves something XD

Where were you born? Poland! I'm still living there and I don't plan on moving somewhere else - maybe to another city, but then again I don't wanna leave my parents behind so yeah (a little bit of babbling :3)

What are your hobbies? Listening to music, playing on guitar - I started playing in July in 2022, I'm not very good at it yet, but I have a lot of fun! - and maybe writing from time to time some fanfiction. I like creating ocs ^u^

Have you any pets? Yes, a female canary. She's my lovely orb of feathers, who has almost the same music taste as mine - oh GOD, I played "Alabama Song (Whisky Bar)" by The Doors yesterday on my phone to quickly clean and come back to watching a tv series. The feathery orb sung so loudly along with Jim Morrison and the rest! I wasn't expecting her to give such a bright concert ;u;

What sports do you play/have played? None, I am the person who hated sports XD

How tall are you? 162/164 cm I believe? I am fairly short

Favourite subject in school? Polish lessons. They were fun, despite that some of the school readings were boring. But I could listen to so much stories about the society in the past ages. This was interesting!

Dream job? Working in a library - I'm working hard to get to that goal

Tag 15 people... Let's see if I have so much mutuals XD @furiousbirdballoon @juliearchery107 @jimmysdragonsuit13 @malakianwhvre @explodingegg123 @itsdareeeh @cantag-curtis @diedeadenovgh @circle-bircle @w0rldl0ngg0ne That's all I can think of at the moment. If anyone stumbles upon this post and wants to join, feel free <3 The rest of tagged people? Join the fun if you want :3

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somuchfuckingsalt · 1 year

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Steve should have been Vecna’d instead of Nancy and here’s why.

Firstly, I explain in this post that I think the Duffer brothers aren’t doing enough with Steve and that he should be the leader of the teens but in it I explain that him getting Vecna’d would have showed that fucking with his head would’ve had an affect on the entire group.

Secondly, the Duffers have given Steve very little but one thing they did give him is that he��s the babysitter, the protector and the people he protects are people that we, the audience, care deeply about. Now, most of what we saw in Nancy’s vision was the pool, Vecna’s disembodied attic, The Exposition, the lab, and the gates opening. However, Nancy tells us later on that she also saw deaths like her mom and Holly that we, the audience, didn’t see.

Now, firstly imagine what watching Steve see people, that he views is his job to protect, dead when protection is something Steve’s primarily done season after season. Now imagine we, the audience, watching with Steve characters we know and love die in Vecna’s planned apocalypse. It literally would’ve taken an extra thirty seconds to a minute and they very easily could’ve ripped our hearts to shreds in that short amount of time because it would be main characters we care deeply about brutally killed. And in order to avoid full spoilers they literally just could’ve shown us the deaths of characters like Lucas and Dustin, or for characters like Max who we’re already expecting to get hurt, show her all crumpled but either someplace not the Creel House or not identifiable as the Creel House so later on we think she’ll be fine since it looks different.

And if they really didn’t want to go that route and show the apocalypse deaths, in place of Nancy in the pool they could’ve showed Steve in the tunnels but the kids are screaming while the demodogs eat them (offscreen, because Steve running around panicking trying to find them would’ve been *chef’s kiss*) or Dustin, Erica, and Robin getting tortured in Steve’s place while Steve is tied up forced to watch.

Anyway, I think emotionally using Steve as Vecna’s exposition dump would’ve been a lot better overall.

#steve harrington #nancy wheeler #vecna #stranger things

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belongsinthetrash · 2 years

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Hot take: Kel is best represented by the Gladiolus, whereas Aubrey fits the Cactus more. Basil mixed them up.

UM? HELLO?? APRIL??? GIVING ME A ABSOLUTELY SPICY TAKE THAT I'M NOW OBSESSED WITH AND WANT TO ANALYZE SO MUCH, THANK YOU?!

Ahem, sorry for the capitals, I'm just loving this. I gonna look into this one more deeply now.

As a preface, I want to familiarize myself and everyone with what Dream Basil says regarding how the two plants represent and relate to Aubrey and Kel. According to him, the gladiolus "represents strength of character[;] someone who is honest, with strong moral values [and] someone who stands by their convictions." Meanwhile, the cactus is described as "very sturdy and resilient [...] by nature" and "don't need much care and can survive in seemingly impossible conditions." I'm not gonna question a kid that seems so well versed in his special interest, but I do want to compare and contrast both these descriptions with Kel and Aubrey, and see where that goes.

Aubrey does show off the qualities of the gladiolus in how she is strong in her beliefs of doing anything to keep Mari's name alive, with seeing herself on the moral high ground in her campaign against Basil. She's also brutally honest, pointing out any perceived misdeeds the gang have done to forget Mari. However, there is an arguement to be made on how Aubrey's morals slowly corrupted as she and the Hooligans continued to harass Basil for just being there, and how when confronted with her past friends, refuses to say that she missed them this whole time.

Kel is also reminiscent of his cacti counterpart, his sturdiness and resiliency being translated to how he's one of the most emotionally stable people in the group, and his low maintenance amd constant positiveness in spite of hard situations are also nice fits into the cactus' meaning. On the flipside, that same stableness can also be tied to the near breaking well of sadness that he probably has brewing underneath that is kept under watch for the purpose of keeping his friends happy (which doesn't exactly invalidate this point, but can weaken it in a sense), and despite how aloof his parents can be about him, it's still a fact that Kel is getting some bit of care from them and his brother is there to pick up their slack whenever it happens, and that's not even mentioning how he seems to be one of the most popular persons in Faraway Town, so Kel is living in pretty alright conditions, as far as the others are concerned.

With that, we've shown that there are a few things that interfere with the 1:1 meaning of the two's respective plant, and in their defense, arbitrary meanings given to stuff isn't always 100% right. Astrology and zodiacs, despite your feelings toward them, can only get so many things right or wrong as you see them fit. But I digress, let's look at Kel and Aubrey through their OPPOSITES, like what this ask was supposed to be about all along.

First off, Kel's character of cheering people up and being crude in the process sometimes has stayed with him through age and many a sad and scary situation. He wears his heart on his sleeve when it comes to speaking his truths when he feels fit, and stands up to Aubrey and her gang every time it relates to helping Basil, showing his determined nature for his beliefs. Alternatively, Aubrey is a very strong willed person who keeps a tough persona nearly everytime we see her, and that comes from how she has survived dealing with a homelife that has been terrible for who knows how long and having no support system after an extremely upsetting event for (as I headcanon) 1-2 years before she met the hooligans, which has sufficiently settled both points, in my humble opinion.

So, I feel like I've established a good enough explanation for this and I honestly felt like I was convincing myself quite well throughout this. To be fair, I can't quite blame Basil for possibly mixing up the two plants, because if I haven't make a good enough case for the meanings, I think I've made a excellent case on how these two idiots are more alike than they'd want to admit.

#mutual interaction my beloved #omori #omori game #omori aubrey #omori kel #i dont always call things faves because im terrible at choosing them and hate calling them #but this is an exception to that rule #thank you so much for this ask again april #ive been a firm believer in kel and aubrey being same idiot different execution #and this has deepen that so much #mutuals! randos! twitchy jim on the corner of my street!#please give april the appreciation they deserve for this interesting analysis starter

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wehaveafuture · 2 years

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11x15 Musings

1. It’s really hot when Daryl says “fuck.”

2. I really dig Princess and Mercer. They’re my second favorite ship. The pillow talk was cute, and I love how he opened up to her at the end and how she kissed his hand.

3. Carol and Zeke are definitely over. Even Zeke called her his friend. And she made sure to echo that by telling him they are never getting back together. Nicely played, Kang. As much as I’ve judged your decisions the past 2 years, that was well-played. Now we just need a last reiteration that it’s not like that between Connie and Daryl, for those of the audience that aren’t paying attention.

4. Aunt Carol with the kids taking the kids to school was cute. Makes me wonder if this is a normal arrangement. Carol and Daryl in constant communication about who’s taking care of the kids. Daryl’s working, so Carol drops them off on her way to work? Domestic AF. Also, notice how Ezekiel is just Ezekiel and not Uncle Ezekiel. Carol is Aunt Carol, but Ezekiel is just Ezekiel, further showing the breakdown on that relationship. The kids clearly like Ezekiel and are comfortable with him, but he’s not Uncle Zeke. He’s just Ezekiel.

5. Lance Hornsby is so unhinged I expect him to open his mouth like a python at any moment and devour someone.

6. I got palpitations watching Daryl turn his gun on the Commonwealth Soldiers when Elijah had Lance pinned against the wall. That, followed by him saying “before something really fucking bad happens” had me all aflutter.

7. Of fucking course Lance wants to offer Leah a job. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he’s the one to put a bullet in her head at this point. Why do I think she’s getting a MSF death. Not that I want her death to have that much meaning. I do want her to be gone already. Nothing about her last appearance has shown she’s able to be redeemed at this point. It’s time to put down the rabid animal like Mercer put down his two men. I just hope Lance also gets a brutal death, because that man gives me the creeps.

8. I like Tomi. Really like him. In his very few appearances, he’s shown more personality than Yumiko has since the beginning of her arc. Speaking of Yumiko, where is she? Like really? She’s been shown in what, one episode for a couple of minutes this entire leg of the season? Not that I’m complaining, mind you. Tomi is far more interesting and has far more personality than his sister.

9. Connie looked cute. I like her style. But I feel like the writers don’t know what to do with Connie and Kelly anymore. I feel like they’re just being moved around like two pieces of a puzzle. If it wasn’t for Angel Theory’s charm, it would feel like Kelly was literally there just to be a interpreter between her sister and others. I felt like Kelly was starting to come into her own while Connie was gone, and now that Connie is back she exists only as an interpreter.

10. Carol is gorgeous. And I was a little turned on watching her assist with that surgery.

11. As much as I don’t really care about Maggie at this point, I went into protective mama bear mode over little Hershel. Lance Hornsby is a scum bag, and I will be eating popcorn and drinking champagne when his ass finally gets what’s coming to him.

I feel like this episode was just a little step closer to canon. Carol was vague about what was on her mind, but I can’t help but think while she and Zeke were sitting there talking that she was thinking about what SHE wanted to do with her time left. Zeke has found a passion for helping people this way. Now she needs to find something for her. They are moving on from each other. I think Carol was thinking about Daryl, thinking about what she wants out of life, and that’s Daryl. Maybe I’m watching with shipper goggles, but I can’t help but think it’s on her mind, especially this close to the end.

Caryl on, loves. <3

#twd spoilers #twd 11x15 #caryl #trust

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basic-otaku · 3 years

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My thoughts on Xue Yang's character (based on the drama and novel)

Xue Yang is a character I didn’t fully understand until I finished The Untamed. I looked back on him with a bit of pity but little understanding. It wasn’t until I listened to his character song that I truly began to dissect his character. Reading those lyrics completely flipped my perspective on him, and I went back to watch the Yi City arc again. I was shocked by how much I had missed. Xue Yang has since become one of my favorite characters of the series. I’ve spent so much time thinking about him and his motives that I finally decided to write down my thoughts. This analysis comes mostly from what I perceived, so it may differ from other people’s opinions. You are free to disagree with me.

Let’s start with what we know: Xue Yang was a street kid with a hard childhood. We know he was abandoned at a young age, but we don’t know how young. However, he must have been old enough to survive, so he couldn’t have been younger than four when he started fending for himself. We don’t know who his parents are because he doesn’t remember them, nor does he remember anyone else who had potentially taken care of him. His parents could be dead for all we know, or they could have dumped him somewhere when they no longer wanted to take care of him. It’s all up to speculation. He also has a very high pain tolerance, probably due to constant beatings as a child.

When you’re all alone in the world, you have to learn to put yourself first. There’s no one to care for you, so only you can care for yourself. I believe that Xue Yang wasn’t always a bad person because no one is inherently evil. However, because he was alone, there was no one to nurture him and teach him right from wrong. When all you experience is violence and hatred, that becomes your response to similar situations; you don’t expect kindness or want to give it in return.

One of Xue Yang’s flaws as a child was his naivety — he was much too quick to trust. That’s how he got himself into such a bad situation. He was eager to have something he was never able to have (candy), so he immediately trusted that shopkeeper when he said he could have some as a reward for running an errand. What he got in return wasn’t candy, but a brutal beating and a severed pinky. If Xue Yang had still had any faith left in humanity, this is the point where it would have left him. The remaining childhood innocence in him was gone. This brings me to an interesting piece of dialogue. In Yi City, when Xue Yang confronts Song Lan and tells him what he’s been up to, Song Lan curses at him, calling him an animal. Xue Yang laughs at him and says, “I quit using those words when I was seven.” And what happened to Xue Yang’s finger? “One finger was ground into battered flesh on the spot. The child was seven.” Even Xue Yang himself knows that moment was when everything changed, and he still carries the resentment with him now.

Back to the cart incident. This event scarred him for life and was the primary reason he became a sociopath. Now he’s bent on revenge. He was powerless as a child; just another street rat who shouldn’t be treated like a human being nor spared any pity. So, when he realizes he can do the same to those that hurt him, he takes it much further. When he was old enough and strong enough, he exacts his revenge. He wanted to make the Chang Clan feel his pain — not only for the finger he had lost but for his whole miserable life up to that point. If no one deigned to understand him, then he’d make them understand in the only way he knew how. With violence.

Xue Yang was only fifteen or sixteen when he slaughtered the Chang Clan, killing more than fifty people. This is where he meets Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan. From the first moment, Xue Yang hates Xiao Xingchen. He’s so righteous, so full of light. He thinks he makes the world better just by doing a little good. What a hypocrite. Where was he when he was needed? Where was he when Xue Yang was a seven-year-old boy left crying in the streets after having his finger ground to a pulp? No, nobody can be that good.

When Xue Yang is captured by Wei Wuxian and the others, Xiao Xingchen takes him back to Qinghe to be apprehended, and Xue Yang vows to get his revenge on Xiao Xingchen for it. It isn’t long after he escapes from Qinghe that Xue Yang slaughters Baixue Temple, blinding Song Lan in the process. According to Xue Yang’s logic, hurting Xiao Xingchen’s friend is just as bad as hurting Xiao Xingchen himself. This is what causes the rift between Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan. Without this incident, Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen may never have met again.

A few years have likely passed while Xue Yang was working for Jin Guangyao. He is probably closer to eighteen or nineteen when Jin Guangyao injures him and throws him out, which is how Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing find him. Xiao Xingchen doesn’t hesitate in bringing Xue Yang back to Yi City with him and A-Qing and caring for his wounds. Xue Yang wakes up pained and disoriented, but he immediately tries to back away when he realizes who is tending to him. He doesn’t know Xiao Xingchen is unaware of his identity, and probably thinks that Xiao Xingchen is getting ready to take him to face justice or something. But Xiao Xingchen insists that he doesn’t need to know who Xue Yang is and that he’s only doing what’s right. Xue Yang is clearly shocked by this admission. He truly cannot comprehend kindness, and this is the first time he’s ever experienced it.

This is also the first time we get to see his genuine smile. It’s shocked and incredulous, like he can’t believe this is happening, but it’s there. Throughout the series, Xue Yang’s snarky words and sly smirk are a token of his character, but now we know they are just a mask he uses to hide the small, broken child inside of him. If no one can see the hurt he hides, then no one can hurt him further. But with just one kind gesture, Xiao Xingchen was able to bring out the young boy who just wanted love and comfort.

This kindness is such a foreign concept to Xue Yang that he doesn’t think it’s genuine for a long time. But as the years pass, Xue Yang comes to realize that Xiao Xingchen isn’t a threat. This is something he scoffs at. Xiao Xingchen is ridiculously naïve; so stupid. If he knew who he was living with, who he was eating with, he wouldn’t act like this. He would treat Xue Yang the same way everyone else had. So, Xue Yang decides to trick Xiao Xingchen into murdering innocent people for revenge. Xue Yang can’t wait for Xiao Xingchen to find out what Xue Yang has made him do because it’ll break him. What this revenge is for is up to interpretation. Maybe he’s still angry about being captured and sent to Qinghe. Maybe he’s angry at the world for treating him so badly. Maybe Xue Yang wants to show Xiao Xingchen that his worldview is stupid and that there are no good or pure people in the world. I choose to believe that it’s the last one.

At least, this is his motivation at first — he slowly loses the will to harm Xiao Xingchen. This brings me to another interesting point. In episode three, Xue Yang says he doesn’t fear death, he fears boredom. But isn’t this domestic life he’s living with Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing considered boring by his standards? I think the boredom he speaks of is really the fear of being alone and having nothing at all. Now he’s happy, however reluctantly he’s willing to admit it. He wouldn’t have put up with A-Qing’s petulant behavior if he didn’t enjoy the time they spent together. Although they didn’t get along at first, Xue Yang protects A-Qing and takes care of her like an annoying older brother. He teases her, sure, but he also cuts her apple slices in the shape of rabbits and gives her advice on how to scare away the people who bully her (even though killing them isn’t great advice). Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing were the family he never had. Now he would do anything to preserve the life he is living.

After about a year, Xue Yang’s plan stopped being about revenge. I’m not completely sure how he justified this change of heart, but I like to think he told himself he was still biding his time and that he’d get back to it eventually (even if he had stopped thinking about hurting Xiao Xingchen). Based on what A-Qing told Song Lan when he arrived at Yi City, Xue Yang hadn’t taken Xiao Xingchen out on one of those night hunts in a long time. And most of the people that Xue Yang made Xiao Xingchen kill were the merchants that made fun of his blindness and cheated him with bad vegetables and high prices. It was a messed-up way to get revenge for Xiao Xingchen. Xue Yang hates being looked down on, so shouldn’t Xiao Xingchen feel the same way?

Nevertheless, the time they spent in Yi City was probably the only time Xue Yang had been happy in his entire life. Xiao Xingchen was so in tune with what Xue Yang needed that Xue Yang came to care for him deeply. Whether those feelings were romantic or platonic in nature is up to the viewer, but I believe Xue Yang had fallen in love with Xiao Xingchen in the only sick and twisted way he could. Xiao Xingchen understood him more than anyone ever had, going so far as to listen to his idle ramblings and bring him a piece of candy every day after hearing that he had loved sweets as a child but could never have any. He managed to tame the savage beast in Xue Yang’s heart with only his presence and basic human decency. Xue Yang’s bloodlust was satiated as long as he had Xiao Xingchen to take care of him. At this point, I don’t think he would ever actually kill Xiao Xingchen. He had stopped wanting to hurt him a long time ago. A-Qing? Sure. She’s expendable, but Xiao Xingchen is irreplaceable. Even if Xue Yang reluctantly came to care about her, it wasn’t the same kind of bond. She had never shown him the same kindness that Xiao Xingchen had. He wouldn’t hesitate to hurt her if she betrayed him, but she was important to Xiao Xingchen, which meant he couldn’t do her any harm if he didn’t want to disrupt their happy life.

If Song Lan hadn’t found them, how long would Xue Yang have stayed? I don’t even think he knew. He just knew that he didn’t want to leave anymore. Xiao Xingchen gave him too much for him to want that. The viewer can easily see the happiness in his eyes when he looks at Xiao Xingchen. Xue Yang acts like a kid around him — playing games, joking around, making him laugh with childish remarks. Even in the quiet moments, he’s happy. This was especially noticeable in the campfire scene. It wasn’t shown in the original drama, but in the special edition, Xue Yang smiled at Xiao Xingchen from across the fire, and the look in his eyes as he gazed at his daozhang was so tender that it honestly caught me off guard. It seemed to catch Xue Yang off guard too because he caught himself, and the smile slowly fell. It’s like he realized what he’s doing and remembered that this should be about revenge.

Where in the past, Xue Yang hated Xiao Xingchen for his righteousness, he now loves him for his naivety. Without it, Xue Yang knows that Xiao Xingchen would be disgusted with himself. There would be no more laughs, no more games, and no more smiles. Then Xue Yang would lose the one person who didn’t treat him like dirt. So, when Song Lan finds them, Xue Yang immediately perceives it as a threat to their domestic life. He knows how important Song Lan is to Xiao Xingchen, and there’s no doubt in his mind that Xiao Xingchen won’t hesitate to leave with Song Lan when he discovers Xue Yang’s identity.

Furthermore, Xue Yang resents Song Lan for taking Xiao Xingchen’s eyes (even though it was voluntary on Xiao Xingchen’s part and was essentially Xue Yang’s fault). His logic tells him that having Xiao Xingchen kill Song Lan would be the perfect way for Xiao Xingchen to get his revenge. What Xue Yang doesn’t understand is that not everyone thinks about things in the context of revenge. I don’t believe Xiao Xingchen ever truly regretted giving up his sight. But Xue Yang can’t comprehend how someone could be that selfless.

This is where it all falls apart. A-Qing sees what happened to Song Lan, and she runs to Xiao Xingchen and tells him everything. When Xiao Xingchen comes back to confront him, Xue Yang spills it all. There’s nothing left for him to lose. His mask falls again, and he basically bares his soul to Xiao Xingchen. This is probably the first time he’s told the story about his finger, and I think he genuinely thought Xiao Xingchen was going to understand him; that if he knew what Xue Yang went through, he’d sympathize with him and justify his action (thereby justifying his feelings). Instead of that, however, Xiao Xingchen calls him disgusting, and it flips a switch inside of Xue Yang. How can Xiao Xingchen call him disgusting when he’s killed people too?

I think one of the reasons Xue Yang led Xiao Xingchen to kill those people was to bring Xiao Xingchen down to his level. Xue Yang doesn’t think that anyone can be as good as Xiao Xingchen claimed to be, so he had to taint his perfect record. Maybe if he killed people, Xiao Xingchen would understand him. Xue Yang thought that when Xiao Xingchen found out, he’d stay with him. Now he’s not the same righteous person he used to be, so how could he be good enough to travel the world with Song Lan? No, he should stay with Xue Yang instead and live a happy life together.

So, when Xiao Xingchen calls him disgusting, Xue Yang was probably confused and upset, which made him instinctively put his mask back up. Being vulnerable only hurt him again, so he’s back to harsh words and smirks, telling Xiao Xingchen that this is why he’s always hated him and that all of this was fun. Fun in every sense of the word: the killing and the happiness.

Xiao Xingchen finding out that he killed Song Lan was the last straw. Xue Yang is still laughing as Xiao Xingchen slits his own throat. It takes a moment for the realization to set in, but as it does, the smile falls from Xue Yang’s lips, and his hands begin to shake. This is the third time his mask has fallen. His eyes begin to well with tears, but he tries to keep up his act, saying that dead ones are easier to control, but the only one he’s acting for is himself.

The next scene is the one that really solidified Xue Yang’s feelings for me. He cleans the blood from Xiao Xingchen’s skin with the same care that Xiao Xingchen had shown him when he first found Xue Yang in that ditch. Xue Yang clearly thinks that Xiao Xingchen is going to come back and that the ritual will work, that he staves off his tears and sets out food for both of them. He considers eating his candy but then decides he should wait until Xiao Xingchen comes back. If he’s back, then Xue Yang is sure to get another piece.

When he realizes that the ritual isn’t working and Xiao Xingchen isn’t coming back, he breaks down. The tantrum he throws is so full of rage and anguish that it really shows the depth of his feelings for Xiao Xingchen. Again, he goes back to acting, trying to guilt Xiao Xingchen’s dead body into coming back to life by telling him all the terrible things he’ll do to Song Lan and A-Qing if he doesn’t reawaken. Obviously, Xiao Xingchen can’t hear him, and Xue Yang knows this, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. He finally dissolves into tears, screaming and crying over Xiao Xingchen’s corpse. This may have been the first time he’s cried since he lost his finger. Crying is for innocent, naïve children, and it doesn’t help anybody. But now Xue Yang has had a taste of pure sweetness and doesn’t want to go back to the bitter life he has known, so he finally lets himself weep for all the things he could have had.

Xue Yang spent the next seven years trying to bring Xiao Xingchen back to life with no success. We don’t know much about his activities after Yi City, but we have gotten information through rumors that Shuanghua was being used to kill innocents. It seems like Xue Yang wanted to keep a part of Xiao Xingchen with him. He even continued his sick revenge plot after Xiao Xingchen’s death by gouging out the eyes of and killing the remains of the Chang Clan, including their leader, Chang Ping, by lingchi. Xue Yang doesn’t blame himself in the slightest; he just thinks that Xiao Xingchen’s death was an unfortunate consequence of the situation. He will put the blame on anyone and everyone other than himself. Thus, instead of performing lingchi on himself like Wei Wuxian suggested, he takes out his anger on the remains of the Chang Clan.

Everything Xue Yang does in the present is tied to Xiao Xingchen, yet he still can’t bring him back. So, when he heard that the Yiling Patriarch had suddenly come back to life, Xue Yang knew it was his last chance. The sword ghost/ghost arm is what led Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji to Yi City. It was pointing to its murderer. I’m sure Xue Yang could have avoided a confrontation if he wanted, but this was intentional. As for the juniors, I have a feeling that Xue Yang was behind the cat corpses that led them to meet up with Wei Wuxian. This is still unclear though because Xue Yang doesn’t have a real reason to get them involved. The only person he needs is Wei Wuxian.

Xue Yang has tried everything at this point. So, when Wei Wuxian finds him in Yi City, pretending to be Xiao Xingchen, he is completely desperate. I do wonder if that is something he has done more than once. Did he often go around dressed as Xiao Xingchen? Was he playing with the life they had in Yi City? Pretending he was still there? Or was it a one-time thing to trick Wei Wuxian into dropping his guard? I also wonder how often he used his own sword because only after Lan Zhan took Shuanghua from him did he pull out Jiangzai. That could be because he was acting as Xiao Xingchen, but we can’t be sure. However, that isn’t the point. Right now, Wei Wuxian was Xue Yang’s only option because the Yiling Patriarch surely knew things he didn’t. Xue Yang had lived with Xiao Xingchen’s corpse for those seven years, keeping him in pristine condition. I’m pretty sure the only way Xue Yang could have done this was by giving him spiritual energy every day, which would be incredibly draining. I don’t think Xue Yang had an exceptionally strong golden core to begin with either. He is primarily a demonic cultivator, which means he doesn’t use his golden core often. It must have taken most of his strength to keep Xiao Xingchen’s body in such good condition. But anything for daozhang, right? Xue Yang needed Xiao Xingchen’s body to be perfect when he returned. He also put aside his pride and used Song Lan for protection all those years. He kept the one person he continued to hate with a burning passion around him for so long.

When Wei Wuxian tells Xue Yang he can’t bring Xiao Xingchen back to life because his soul is too broken, Xue Yang refuses to believe it. It’s been seven years already; he can’t give up now. Deep down, I believe Xue Yang knows Xiao Xingchen wouldn’t want anything to do with him even if he did come back, but he can’t figure out why. Because nothing was his fault, of course.

Something Wei Wuxian said really struck me as I went back to rewatch episode 39. Before the fight, Wei Wuxian turns to Xue Yang and says, “you disgust him to the core, yet you still want to pull him back to play this stupid game.” Xue Yang responds with “I want nothing of the kind.” And he’s being honest. He doesn’t want a stupid game — he wants something real. He wants a life where Xiao Xingchen knows his identity and stays with him in spite of it. He just wants one person to accept him as he is, but that will never, nor could ever, happen —not with all the crimes he has committed.

When Lan Wangji cut off his arm, leaving Xue Yang bleeding on the ground, I think he knew it was over. There was nothing left for him now. He was never getting Xiao Xingchen back. He never had him in the first place, not in any way that counted. So he laughs, blood spilling from his lips, to cover up the tears he wishes he could cry.

He’s ready when Song Lan stabs him, dying with a smile on his face as he gazes at the last piece of candy Xiao Xingchen had ever given him. It’s blackened and inedible, yet Xue Yang held on to it for so long; it was a reminder of his daozhang and of why he was fighting so hard. Like his character song said, he was “too determined to let go.”

It’s kind of sad that even in death, he was never respected by anyone other than Xiao Xingchen, and all of that was built on a lie. He didn’t even get a proper burial, although I suppose he kind of deserved it. Xue Yang is the character I pity the most in this series. He isn’t a good person, nowhere near it, and he deserved the end he got, but I wish things could have been different. What hurts is that it just as easily could have been Wei Wuxian. If Xue Yang had been taken in as a child; if he’d had his own Jiang Fengmian, his own Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli, he could have been happier. Maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe he would have met Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan and started a sect with them. Realistically, he and Xiao Xingchen would never be lovers because Xiao Xingchen was so strongly connected to Song Lan, but I think they could have been friends.

However, one question I still have is did Xue Yang fall in love with Xiao Xingchen because of how he treated him or because of the person Xiao Xingchen really was? If they had met under different circumstances (and if Xue Yang had had a support system when he was young), would Xue Yang have still fallen in love with him? I guess that’s up to the viewer to decide.

Ultimately, Xue Yang is still a sociopath who can’t understand empathy or feel remorse, so I don’t think he regretted any of his crimes. However, I do believe that Xue Yang regretted the consequences of his actions in Yi City. He didn’t want Xiao Xingchen to die, but his actions were what caused his death. It’s more of a dissatisfaction with where things ended up than feeling guilty for his death. Although I don’t think Xue Yang felt remorseful, that doesn’t mean he wasn’t grieving, nor does it mean his feelings for Xiao Xingchen weren’t as genuine as they could have been.

I don’t know where Xue Yang or Xiao Xingchen will end up now, but I hope they’ll both be happy in their next lives. The same goes for A-Qing and Song Lan (when he finally meets his true end). There are so many things that contributed to Xue Yang’s unstable mind, but I think the moral of the story is that it pays to be kind. If just one person had taken pity on him as a child — had shown him that there was good in the world — I wonder what kind of person he would have become.

I already know how cruel fate is

Not looking, not asking, not grieving, not hating

Waiting to relive my life just for a single person

Ups and downs in life

I would leave no regrets

I tried searching in the darkness of night

When I am trapped in the past

I still hope that a flicker of light will appear in my heart

The legend of this lonely city

Who came here before?

And gifted to me my karma

I am waiting for this karma to liberate spirits, liberate souls, and liberate me

Even though I am already too determined to let go

If I get rid of these inner demons

Would you forgive me?

Gaining freedom from destiny, starting all over again

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takerfoxx · 3 years

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So I was thinking about Wonder Egg Priority the other day while delivering pizzas when I had something of an epiphany.

WEP is, in many way, sort of the anti-Madoka Magica.

Now, by that I don’t mean it’s intended as an answer, attack, response, or counter to PMMM. It’s obviously a show doing its own thing, and being compared to PMMM probably wasn’t on the creator’s mind. Also, I don’t mean it’s a reconstruction intended to rebuild the genre that PMMM broke apart, much like Gurren Laagan did to the Giant Mecha genre after Evangelion happened. Rather, it feels like, whether intentional or not, to be Madoka Magica in reverse.

Let me explain.

I’ve already gone into detail how PMMM became the hand grenade to the Magical Girl Warrior genre that it was, how carefully it was crafted to utterly deconstruct the genre and did it so well that it was completely changed. Just look at all those dark magical girl shows, comics, and whatnot that sprung up in its wake, all trying to recapture that same magic, and practically all failing. And while it wasn’t the death of cute and optimistic magical girl shows, the genre as a whole was definitely altered by PMMM, taking themes and ideas originally brought up by Utena and Bokurano and building upon them to create a surgical knife that dissected the whole genre and changed it forever.

And one of the methods it used was to show that each and every one of the main character was left in a much worse state than she was in thanks to the contracts.

Think about it. Each of the five girls was basically ruined by becoming a magical girl. Sayaka fell into despair and was destroyed. Madoka straight up died in the original timeline and ended up erasing herself. Mami spiraled into loneliness and depression until she was killed. Kyoko lost her whole family because of her contract, became a heartless nihilist, and when she tried to redeem herself, she realized the futility of it and decided to go down in a blaze of glory. Homura was cursed to relive the same trauma over and over again and eventually lost the person she was fighting for. Even the ones already in a bad place ended up worse off because of it. Hell, Mami only managed to delay her own death by a couple years, and in the end, her end was even more gruesome.

And that was the point. The wish/contract system is intended to chew these girls up as fodder and just move onto the next one. Just by making a wish you’ve doomed yourself, and there is no escaping your fate. At best you can delay it, and so few can. The best Madoka could do with her universe altering wish was make the girls’ ends a little less cruel. And the movie broke them down even more.

But WEP seems to take the opposite route. Here, when each of our mains are introduced, they’re already at their worse, all four of them traumatized by losing someone close to them while dealing with a multitude of other issues. Ai was bullied heavily due to her appearance, found one friend that could understand, let that friend down, and was deeply wounded when that friend killed herself, leading to Ai becoming a hikikomori. Rika grew up with an absent father and a neglectful mother, got pushed into the toxic idol world way too young, drove off the one person that cared about her and eventually caused her death, leading to her to develop her weirdly cheerful/abrasive personality and self harm as a means of coping with the guilt. Momoe was devastated when her rejection of her friend’s advances led to her friend’s suicide (as far as she knows, anyway), leading to her having a major complex about her appearance and gender identity as a result. And Neiru...well, her situation is really weird and kinda sci-fi, but being a genius test tube baby who was nearly murdered by her sister and left with horrific scars can’t be fun.

Point is, each of these girls is already broken inside when they’re introduced, and the whole wonder egg thing means they spend their nights fighting violent battles against horrific monsters and suffering a lot of pain and even more trauma, and unlike PMMM, this isn’t shown as being fun or cool at all. There is no false sense of security. You’re shown what a brutal affair it is up front, and the show seems to go out of its way to throw a whole bunch of serious and uncomfortable topics right into the spotlight, from bullying to suicide to sexual abuse to self harm to eating disorders to parental neglect, and the list goes on. It’s a very hard show to watch sometimes because of it.

And yet, unlike the PMMM girls, who only grew worse the longer they were in the system, the WEP girls only seem to be getting more emotionally and mentally healthy from the battles they fight. Protecting the Wonder Eggs, as violent as it might get, seems to be acting as a form of therapy for them, a way for them to confront their pent-up emotions and let them out. And the friendship they’ve built together, while sometimes messy and contentious, is shown to be incredibly healthy for them. They’re basically each other’s support group, and their get-togethers often become group therapy sessions as they confide their true feelings about their lives with each other and discuss their issues out in the open. And as a result, we see the bond that they’ve formed help them heal. Ai becomes more confident, more outgoing, and more brave, to the point that she’s not afraid to go to school anymore. Rika comes to terms with her own guilt and feelings of neglect and realizes that she doesn’t have to risk her life if she doesn’t want to, and even starts to forgive her mother. Momoe starts to come to terms with her feelings of discomfort around her femininity. Even Neiru has started to learn to open up to others and act like a kid for once. All four of them are better off for having met the others, and for fighting to restore their lost ones.

Now granted, the show’s not over yet, and I’m sure there’s a twist on the way, especially with what we’re learning about the Accas and Neiru’s secretary. But even so, the inverse mirror images the two shows seem to make of each other was very interesting to me.

#wonder egg priority #puella magi madoka magica #ai ohto #rika kawai #momoe sawaki #neiru aonuma

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imkylotrash · 3 years

Text

Meet Me In The Hallway (3)

Pairing: Sky x reader

Summary: Stella is losing patience and when you follow Sky into the forest to find the Burned One, she lets part of your secret slip as a warning.

Tagging: @grey-girl @intoanothermind @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody

Series Masterlist

“I thought I saw you leave Sky’s room and then I thought… That can’t be true. Y/N wouldn’t be stupid enough to do that when they know what I know.”

You really hate Stella. Slowly, you turn around to face her preparing yourself for the venomous smile she no doubt has plastered on her face. Barely anytime has gone by but you’re already getting very tired of having her threaten you.

“Silva is hurt. He needed someone to comfort him. That’s all.” You’re dog-tired wishing for a peaceful sleep but Stella has other plans.

“If Sky needs comforting, I will make sure he gets it. Not you.” It baffles you how she claims to care for him when all she does it look after her own needs. Frankly, you don’t care who gets to comfort him as long as he’s not alone. You’d give up just about anything to make sure he’s happy but Stella seems to think it’s him who should give up everything for her.

“Are you really that selfish you’ll put your own happiness above his?” you dare ask tired of her games.

“I’m going to give you one last chance to fix this,” she starts completely ignoring your question.

“I have to stay away from him. I get it,” you interrupt her about to turn around and walk away when she stops you.

“I want you to convince him to go on a date with me. He’s been too occupied sulking over you to show any interest in me. I want you to make him realise that I’m the obvious choice.” She must’ve lost her mind. For a whole minute you simply just stare at her taking her words in. She wants you to convince Sky to fall in love with her. In the middle of everything going on with Silva. Is she completely mental?

“Did you hear me or do I need to repeat myself?” In an attempt to act unbothered, she checks her nails but you see right through her. All the insecurities and abandonment issues shine bright in the dark and you briefly pity her. Everyone has heard the rumours of her mother and the way she’s been treated, but you came from a horrible life too and you didn’t turn into a bitch.

“I heard you.”

“Great. You can tell him I’ll be waiting in my room.” She walks past you not even bothering to ask how Silva is doing. Despite your need for some proper sleep, you decide to head down to the greenhouse. Mr. Harvey is adding a fresh coat of the herb mix to Silva’s wounds.

“Sky is sleeping,” you quickly say to easy Silva’s mind. He sits back down revealing the pain he’s in.

“Can I help with anything?” you ask needing something to occupy your mind from what Stella asked of you. How can you focus on that when Silva could be dying?

“Maybe you could cool me down again? It really helped me rest.” You oblige placing your hand on his forehead and channeling just the slightest magic into the palm of your hand. It’s an instant effect when the ice hits him. Slowly his skin returns to a normal shade rather than the hot red it was mere minutes ago.

“Thank you,” he whispers lying down on the table again. It must be really bad if he’s so willing to show weakness. In the time you’ve known Silva, he’s never shown weakness about anything. You know it would be a different story if Sky were here though. He’d never want Sky to know just how much pain he’s in and you can’t blame him. It would crush Sky.

“No problem. I can come back in a few hours to do it again?” You look to Mr. Harvey for signs whether that’s a good idea or not. He gives you a quick nod before continuing his work. You mean to head to your room but you spot a blonde boy who’s sneaking out the backdoor.

“Are you kidding me?” With a sigh, you follow him outside realising that he’s heading straight for the forest.

“Sky, where are you going?” you ask and the sound of your voice stops him dead in his tracks.

“I’m going to find the Burned One that got Saul. I can’t just sit around and do nothing.” He’s not looking at you. Probably because he knows you’ll try to talk him out of it.

“Please stay. Marco is out looking as we speak and I’m sure he’ll find it.” You’re desperate to keep him protected within the barrier but you’re always painfully aware of the fact that Sky is one of the most stubborn people you’ve ever met. You’re not sure you’ll be able to convince him especially now that you’re broken up.

“I’m not waiting for someone else to save him. Saul is all I have left.” It’s a brutal reminder of what you took from him when you ended things and it tugs at your heartstrings just how badly you hurt him.

“Then I’m coming with you.” If he’s going out there, you need to be there too. You’d never forgive yourself if something happened to him and you had the chance to stop it.

“You’re not going with me,” he says as if he has any say at all.

“If you’re going, I’m going. Package deal, remember?” It’s something you started saying after Riven kept commenting on the fact that you never went anywhere without each other and up until recently you never have. He doesn’t look pleased but he also doesn’t say no. He just hands you a small dagger for you to hold onto to. You grab hold of the water drops lying on the grass and freeze them before levitating them in the air.

“I think I’m good.” He takes the dagger back without a word and proceeds to the forest. It’s a long trek but you don’t complain. You asked to be here and as much as you hate the uncomfortable silence that’s formed between the two of you, you’re glad you’re here. There’s no point in the search because it’s impossible to figure out what direction the Burned One headed but all you can do is keep a lookout and hope you get lucky.

“Stop,” you whisper grabbing hold of his sleeve. He stops moving but you feel the shiver in his arm where your fingers grazed his skin.

“Sorry,” you mumble letting go of him. A little further ahead, you see something move. Sky pulls out his sword and you channel your feelings ready to freeze it in place. It’s not the first time you and Sky has worked together, but it is the first time it’s been outside of training.

“I freeze, you stab.” He nods hardly moving a muscle. You direct your power at the Burned One freezing every part of it to keep it from moving. You hold it in place feeling the fire inside of it trying to beat your ice but as you see Sky run towards it, you feel more motivated than ever to win. He stabs it right through its core and when you feel its resistance die out, you let go of control. It falls to the ground officially dead.

“We did it,” you say out of breath. How you haven’t passed out from sleep deprivation yet is beyond you but it’s catching up to you now.

“I’ll call Silva,” you say ignoring the need to fall asleep right here on the ground. It takes two rings before he picks up shouting about how irresponsible you are for taking off and hunting Burned Ones yourself. He doesn’t say thank you, but you know it’s hidden between the lines.

“He’s definitely feeling better,” you say once he’s done giving both of you an earful. He demands you both return to school at once and now that you’ve killed the right one, you can oblige easily.

“Thank you for coming with me,” Sky says on your way back.

“Of course. I know what Silva means to you.” This time the silence is comfortable almost as if nothing went wrong between the two of you. But Stella’s ultimatum is still weighing heavy on your mind.

“Can I ask you to do something without any questions?” you ask him right before you reach the barrier.

“What is it?” he asks but you need him to promise you before you tell him. You know he’ll never agree to it otherwise.

“Promise me,” you say pausing just before the barrier. From here you can see the school and the students training out on the grass as if it’s just a normal day. But to them it probably is.

“I promise.”

“I need you to take Stella on a date.” His glare might just pierce you from pure anger.

“No questions. You promised!” He’s about to protest but stops himself. He’s a man of his word even if he hates it right now.

“Fine.” He starts walking leaving you behind. The second people spot you, they stare at you like you just arrived with the circus.

“Is that them?”

“Do you think it’s true?”

“Are we in danger?” Everyone is whispering and pointing fingers making you feel incredibly uncomfortable. You notice Musa not too far away and head over to her.

“What’s going on?” Before she has a chance to tell you, a first year taps you on the shoulder. A bunch of girls are watching from afar making it obvious that the first year in front of you is here on a dare.

“Is it true?” she asks continuously looking back at her friends.

“Is what true?” you ask confused ignoring the sneaking suspicion you feel.

“Is it true that you’re a changeling?”

#sky x reader #sky blurb #sky imagine #sky gif #sky #fate the winx saga #fate the winx club #fate winx club #winx saga #winx club #fate winx #fate

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pyrrhiccomedy · 3 years

Text

the People have requested my book report on The Library at Mt. Char so this is now a Mt Char book club.

if you have not read The Library at Mt Char there is no reason to keep reading. I hope you're having a nice day, stay safe and don't do drugs.

So Mt Char has a couple of problems, but in my opinion only one grave problem.

Not a grave problem:

Erwin doesn't need to be in this book. An astonishing amount of ink is spilled on giving us Erwin's POV and I am at a loss in regards to what that's supposed to bring to the story. I mean, it's kind of neat to see Carolyn's "trick shot" from the POV of one of the people being manipulated, but that perspective could have just been provided by Steve. Everything Erwin does of any plot significance could have been done by Steve, a character who actually matters.

Please note that I don't hate Erwin, he's perfectly fine as characters go, he just contributes nothing, and it is baffling that he and Carolyn get the last scene in the book (instead of just ending on her reunion with Michael, a scene that was emotionally affecting and felt like a natural end point to her story). We are taking no questions, Erwin needed to be cut.

Also not a grave problem in my opinion, but I am sure others feel differently and I understand why they would:

Yo, the scope of what the catalogs cover is mad vague. I mean, I get that that's the point: when you have a character whose magic powers are "anything that has to do with death or murder," that's a broad license, and I'm fine with that. These are supposed to be demi-gods. I don't require a rigorously explicated magic system.

But then like...why can't Jennifer, the healer, also heal minds? That seems weird. Or like, it's implied that she kinda can, maybe, but none of the kids talk about their therapy sessions with Jennifer: they explicitly call out that she heals their bodies. But then she talks about how Margaret and David are sick (meaning mentally) in a way she can "no longer help?" Aren't you supposed to be the God Of Healing? Why can't you help anymore? And were you actually trying to help them before - or anyone else? That's never shown. You could have just said you only healed bodies, not minds, but then it's repeatedly implied that she CAN diagnose mental and emotional problems (and therefore should probably be able to do something about them).

So that's weird.

Or like, why is there Alicia, who "sees the future," and Rachel, who "sees possible futures?" That, uh, just sounds like the author was running out of ideas. Also, if Alicia could see the future, she probably shouldn't have been in that house when the SWAT team hit, yeah?

Stuff like that. The magic the kids can do is very "they have the powers the author needs them to have when the author needs them to have them, and they can't do anything the author would find inconvenient for them to do" but that's not a deal breaker for me because overall the vibe being put off by their various magical specialties works for me. Still, there were ways of getting us where we needed to go without begging quite so many questions.

Also not a grave problem, although more of a problem than the other stuff:

You know that anime trope where a super-genius character is having an entire conversation with another super-genius character through a screen, and it's revealed that the whole conversation was a distraction and pre-recorded so that Character 2 could Complete His Scheme against Character 1? And used his super-genius brain to predict every single thing Character 1 would say? And your suspension of disbelief staggers bloodied into the alleyway and collapses because you're really trying to hang in there, Code Geass, but that's fucking stupid, you're asking for me to believe that this character's intelligence is flat-out supernatural now and you've given me no reason why that should be?

That's how I feel about Carolyn, by the time she takes over the Library. Like, okay. The kids canonically have not even been at the Library long enough for any of them to master their catalogues except for Jennifer. None of them but Jennifer are masters of even their own subject.

Carolyn has been studying in secret from multiple catalogues - which is cool! I like how she slowly reveals over the course of the latter half of the book that she has powers from other people's specialties.

...But like...

She seems close to mastering her own catalogue. She is a competent healer and can raise the dead (Jennifer's catalogue). She can block attempts to read her mind, beats David in a fight, and understands how to kill Father (David's catalogue). She speaks lion and controls the dogs that surround the Library (Michael's catalogue). She could make the mathy "Denial That Rends" thing that kicks off the whole plot, and she can make a new sun and correct orbital rotations around it (Peter's catalogue). She can predict the future with such specificity that she knows how to cause Steve to drop a clip of bullets while he's being attacked by dogs exactly where Erwin will need to pick it up later (Rachel's catalogue, also this one is stupid, she could have just given Erwin an extra clip or something, but whatever).

That's half the catalogues. Carolyn doesn't seem prodigiously more intelligent than the other kids. She's smart, sure, but they're all weird demi-gods with a genius for their specialties. The rest of them haven't even mastered their own catalogue, and I'm supposed to swallow that Carolyn has attained 'competent or better' status in six? When she has to research five of them in secret? Without falling behind in her own studies?

It would be fine if they had all been masters of their own catalogues for years and years; that would mean they would begin to stagnate, while Carolyn kept learning. But that's not the case. By the end I wasn't impressed anymore at Carolyn's resourcefulness, it just felt like she could do anything and everything, shh, don't ask questions, she's the Chosen One so she just can.

The reason this isn't a grave problem to me is because Carolyn's journey isn't about becoming more powerful: it's about her emotional journey, which isn't affected by her being stupidly OP for no reason by the end of the book. She still sucked at the things that mattered, like "feelings" and "relationships" and "not being a shitty person." But I do think it hurt the story. I should be cheering on my protagonist when her wild schemes come together, not rolling my eyes.

Anyway. All that was the aperitif. Let's talk about

THE GRAVE AND GLARING PROBLEM AT THE CENTER OF MT CHAR.

So everything that happens in the book stems from Carolyn's thoroughly justified hatred of Father (and David, but David was made that way by Father). Father treated her, and all of the other kids, with extravagant cruelty. If you haven't read the book in a while, here's a sample of the kinds of things Father did to the kids, or, if David did them, that Father did nothing to prevent:

- Cooked David alive over 2 full days in a giant bronze bull (and made the rest of the kids bring the fuel)

- Put Michael's eyes out with a hot poker every night for 2 weeks (and made the rest of the kids watch)

- Murdered Margaret every few days, often in drawn-out and painful ways

- Made Rachel repeatedly give birth, raise the babies to about 9 months, then murder them with her own hands

- Allowed David to rape all 11 of the other kids (except Jennifer, probably because she was the healer and he wanted to stay on her good side)

- Allowed David to crucify, brutalize and rape Carolyn and Peter

- Gave Carolyn a loving new family for a year when she was nine years old (those two deer), then had David murder them in front of her and blame it on her for not remembering her homework well enough, then served the two deer at a feast to 'celebrate' her returning to the family

- Whippings, skinnings, and bone-breakings as standard disciplinary actions

Whoo-ee! Okay! We are talking about mythological cruelty. I am fine with this! The story takes place on a mythological scale. As outlandish as all of that is, the cruelty feels proportionate in a story about killing and replacing god. Father is cruel, indifferent, controlling, and alien. I have no questions, Carolyn please proceed with your revenge. We seemed on track for a tale in which Carolyn defeats Father, but in doing so she runs the risk of becoming him. Will she step back from the brink and retain her humanity after all of the trauma and brutality she's endured? Let's find out!

And then

and then.

Oh boy.

And then.

...It turns out, Father is a good guy after all.

And let me be clear: THIS IS NOT, IN AND OF ITSELF, A PROBLEM.

By the time you learn that Father is actually benevolent, and loved those kids, and cares about being a responsible steward to the world, and tried to leave the universe a better place than he found it, and genuinely regretted the suffering he inflicted on them when they were growing up, it feels kind of...natural? Like, I was surprised, but also not, because there were 90 pages of book left and Carolyn had already become god. This seemed like a thematically meaningful place to take the rest of the story.

It turns out Father was training Carolyn to replace him the entire time. He had to make her hate David because it was important that she "defeat a monster" on her path to becoming god. (It's not explained why she had to defeat a monster, but sure, okay; it's the kind of mythic feat that fits with the story we're in.)

Why did he choose Carolyn to be his successor? Well, originally he chose David, but David wasn't strong enough: every time Carolyn was the monster in David's story, she defeated him, and went on to rule the universe as an unspeakable tyrant. Since Carolyn always won, Father swapped their roles. He knew he had made the right choice when he put David into the bronze bull, and heard David begging for mercy: because when Carolyn had been the fated monster, she had never begged.

...Okay, so...hang on.

Hang on.

The only rule that we've established on "how to become god" is "you have to defeat a monster," right? I'll even grant you for free that it has to be a monster who is personally meaningful to you, although that part is never stated. Overcoming a great evil which has cast you down and abused you many times before, sure, okay.

...Why the FUCK did all that other awful shit have to happen??

I did not have this question when Father was just evil! That was a good enough explanation! But now that he's not evil, you HAVE TO EXPLAIN why he treated all of the kids so brutally!

Like dude you're GOD. If you need a monster for Carolyn, I'm sure you can make that happen without TORTURING CHILDREN FOR DECADES.

There didn't even need to be any other children! You could have two kids: the languages-kid, who is the chosen one (the chosen one has to be the languages-kid so they can read the Onyx Codex or whatever it was called at the end, the one written by Original God), and the war-and-murder kid, who is the monster. They could have just been forbidden to read the other codices, if it's important to you that your chosen one still prove her resourcefulness or whatever.

Why include all of the other kids??? It wasn't to give your chosen one a sense of family: Carolyn didn't feel close to any of them except for Michael (who I liked, but whose contribution to the plot was negligible).

Or keep the kids! But then why make them, and Carolyn, hate you?? You could just say, "Hey Carolyn, I am raising you to be my successor, you have to figure it out yourself because part of proving your worthiness is this kind of abstract, big-picture thinking, but I love you and whatever you end up deciding to do, just believe in yourself." And meanwhile you're off torturing the fated monster in order to get him piping hot and ready to be served.

Was the idea that Carolyn had to endure so much horror in order to prove she was 'tough enough' to be god?? Because that's not how trauma works! Kids who have been brutally traumatized are usually not made tougher by the experience! A fact that even the book understands, because 10 of the 12 kids are completely destroyed by their upbringing (I'm giving marginal exceptions to Michael and Carolyn herself).

And like

if Father doesn't have a good reason for having treated them so badly, the whole book falls apart!

Because getting revenge for that cruelty is Carolyn's whole motivation!

We are clearly supposed to feel okay about Father going to make a new universe at the end of the book: he's going with his cool tiger friend and that little girl with the connection to the elemental plane of joy who used to be the sun, he's happy to see Carolyn embracing compassion and kindness, which means he cares about compassion and kindness. He invented light and pleasure. Carolyn does nothing to try to stop him from going. He seems like a pretty good candidate for god. And I do feel okay with him leaving! I was convinced! Father is not evil after all!

But then you have! to explain! the abuse!!

It can be a throwaway line!! "Carolyn realized that everything she and her siblings went through had to happen the way it did, because [X]," embedded in the middle of a paragraph! That would have been enough! But I need an explanation!

"They were raised the way Father was raised himself" WHY? He was raised by the Emperor, an on-the-record awful fucking dude! Father proceeded to rule the universe in a far more benevolent way than the Emperor did, why would he feel like he had to raise his kids the way the Emperor raised him?

"Carolyn needed to overcome challenges on her path to godhood" how is TRAUMATIZING HER SO BADLY SHE ALMOST BECOMES INHUMAN - SOMETHING YOU WERE OSTENSIBLY TRYING TO PREVENT, see Steve being preserved as something that could give her hope, etc - A "CHALLENGE??"

Again, none of this is a problem if Father is just evil! YOU CHOSE to make him not evil! And that's fine!! I think it's a good choice for the story actually!! But then you have to, you have to, HAVE TO explain why all of that bad shit happened!

Because all of that bad shit is the reason Carolyn made there be a story.

And it turns out it doesn't make sense.

#the library at mount char

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bookishofalder · 3 years

Quote

hi! i just recently found ur account and love it💞💞 can i request adam driver x reader and they are dating. reader is a bit younger and he gets jealous over one of her guy friends bc he thinks she deserves someone younger than him. & it ends super fluffy :)

@avengxrs423

Yay, my first request! Thank you so much for the kind words. This was fun to write, I hope you enjoy!

Doubts

Pairing- Adam Driver X FemReader

Summary: Adam has always been aware of the age gap he has with his fiance. He tries to move past it, but a chance meeting with your famous old friend brings the worry crashing back.

Warnings: Language, insecurity, mild smut, paparazzi. WC-2,700

“Mr. Driver, over here! Miss (Y/L/N), this way!” Adam followed you out of the car, thanking the driver, his eyes on you as the crowd of reporters and paparazzi lined either side of the walkway into the restaurant. It was always these sorts of outings, where the press knew he’d be in attendance to a new hot spot, that made him nervous. Wary of how easily you could be accosted, even injured. He was nothing if not protective of you.

Standing closely next to you, Adam places his hand on your lower back, joining you in smiling around for the cameras as you slowly moved forward. His security team had the doors open ahead of you, mere steps away.

“Have you set a date for the wedding yet?”

“Let’s see the ring again, Miss. (Y/L/N)!”

“Mr. Driver, what do you have to say to fans who find the age gap between you to be too much?”

Adam worked actively not to react to the last question, his body tensing. When he looked down at you, he found you were already watching him, the glamorous smile still dazzling everyone, but he read the caution in your eyes. When you were both through the doors and they shut behind you, he began to breathe a little more freely, casting the reporter's rude question out of his mind.

He was taking you on a date and wanted to make sure the evening was special. His publicist had set it up, as this new restaurant was the current ‘place to be and be seen’ in New York City. While Adam could care less, he knew fans everywhere were chomping at the bit to see more of him and you together, in New York especially.

The makeup artist who won the movie star’s heart. It was a major headline when you first started dating publicly, which made you both laugh as Adam had to work to convince you he was interested, in the beginning. Newly engaged now, Adam could see the romance of it, could understand why fans enjoyed the story. But he hated, absolutely despised, how every damn article made sure to mention, directly or not, the age gap between the two of you.

He had had no intention of falling in love with anyone he worked with, he hadn’t been actively seeking-but you had shown up one day one and after one brief conversation, he was smitten. His feelings only grew over the two years you worked together, but he had hesitated greatly in acting on them, solely because you were 10 years younger than him.

When you finally got together, he felt like the luckiest man, that you would love him back, age be damned. You were cautious at first, eventually believing he genuinely wanted to be with you, not just have a fling. He had waited four months into the relationship to make it public (which was no easy feat, but you were supportive through all of it), and of course, the articles started on pointing it out straight away, some going as far as to point out where you were when he was enlisted in the Marines, or graduating Juilliard.

You told him it didn’t matter, repeatedly. And never got mad at him for fixating when a particularly brutal article was released. He had felt guilty many times that you had to comfort and reassure him so consistently, yet it made him love you even harder. And life went on, happily, your relationship solid.

When news broke that he had proposed, the articles started up with renewed fervour. He had been trying to hide from you just how much this upset him, how the doubt was creeping back into his mind...

Tonight was meant to be a sophisticated, romantic evening that served the double purpose of getting Adam press coverage before heading back to L.A. As you were shown to your table by the excited owner, Adam watched you chatting away with her, complimenting their design and success. You wore a beautiful hunter green dress made of satin, it fell to just above your knees and complimented your glowing skin perfectly. He was enraptured by you, whether your wore sweatpants, a dress-and especially when you wore nothing. Green was his favourite colour on you.

At the table reserved for the two of you, Adam helped you take your seat, his hand brushing gently against your hair, before taking his own. Annie and the waiter who had appeared handed you the course descriptions, before asking if you had any dietary needs. “Thank you so much, Annie-honestly just tell the chef we’re game for anything!” You said, grinning. Annie winked before setting off to the kitchen.

Adam nodded politely at the waiter, who took their drink orders, before sweeping away, finally giving him time to study you. “How do you like it?” He gestured around them, at the dark lit, moody and stylish venue. It was busy, filled mainly with notable celebrities, though he hadn’t seen anyone he’d met before. He hoped you liked it, not being one for going out to fancy dinners-you were a homebody, preferring to curl up with a good book.

“Adam, this is great! We haven’t been to a dinner like this in forever, and did you hear what Annie said?” You gushed, beaming, and Adam felt his worries washing away, “13 courses! 13! You’re going to have to carry me out of here, babe.”

“I’m fine with that,” He replied, enjoying the flush that spread across your cheeks. “But let’s be honest, you’re going to end up giving me half your food, pretty girl, you always do.”

You pouted, “I’m making a renewed effort tonight, just wait.”

Adam laughed, and the two of you settled in, the conversation flowing as you discussed the upcoming film Adam was starring in, of which you were working as his artist. The food was, as expected, incredible. Adam loved how you took a photo of each plate, even though neither of you had social media accounts. You still took photos of all the food you ate, just for the fun of it, or as you told him ‘simply to document our adventures!’.

It was around the ninth course that the evening took a turn.

A commotion at the doors captured the attention of some of the patrons. Adam glanced up, but from where your table was, he couldn’t see much. The paparazzi outside were shouting too loudly to decipher what they were saying, so it wasn’t until Adam saw your friend walk in, his brother and friend in tow, that he knew his mood was about to shift.

Tom Holland was one of the first celebrities you had worked with when you started working in L.A. And he’d always kept in touch, even when his own fame skyrocketed and before you were public with Adam. And actually, Adam did like the kid-he was beyond well mannered and genuine, and from the stories you had told, a very considerate friend. Tom’s glowing recommendation of your work was part of the reason Disney had hired you on for the Star Wars films, which was how Adam had met you.

Really, Adam had no reason not to love Tom Holland and be happy to see him arrive with his brother Harry and friend Harrison. It was just the minor, ridiculous concern Adam had that, being close in age, you and Tom were more much suited for one another. A concern that had poisoned his mind for your entire relationship.

Seeing his eyes over your shoulder, you turned to look where Adam had been and exclaimed in delight when you saw your friend. Adam quickly arranged his features to match yours, nerves shooting through him. Tom spotted you when you stood, in all your dazzling beauty, and grinned before making a beeline towards your table. The owner, Annie, had been leading the men to a nearby table and stood back politely while you all greeted one another.

“(Y/N), love! How are you?” Tom gave you a hug, “And Adam, good to see you mate!” Adam took his offered hand, giving a quick handshake. (Y/N) hugged the other two, chatting amicably.

“Good to see you, Tom-hi Harry, Harrison,” Adam greeted the other two before placing his hand on your lower back. Inwardly, he felt more stable in doing this, but he worried it would look possessive. If you thought so, you made no objection, stepping a little closer to his side while you beamed at your friends.

“I didn’t realize you’d be in New York this week, Tom!” You said, smacking his arm playfully.

Tom held his hands up as if in surrender, “It was completely last minute, just stopping off for two days before we head to L.A.” He glanced between the two of you, “I nearly forgot-congratulations again on the engagement! This is the first time I’ve seen you both in person since!”

Adam smiled, “We really appreciated the gift you sent, Tom-that was too kind.” And it had been quite the gift, in addition to a beautiful and extravagant flower arrangement, Tom had made a personal donation to Adam’s charity, Arts in the Armed Forces, and shared the charity on his social media. They’d had an influx of new donations from his fans and followers.

“Arts in the Armed Forces is incredibly important to Adam and me, Tom-you really knocked that gift out of the park.” (Y/N) agreed, her arm snaking around Adam’s waist with affection.

Tom waved off their thanks good-naturedly, “Well, we’re going to leave you to what looks very delicious-Annie, I’ll have what Adam and (Y/N) are having!” Tom grinned briefly at the owner, “And we’re still on for lunch when you both come to L.A. Next week, yeah?”

After assuring Tom they’d see him soon and bidding their farewells, Adam and you sat back down, diving back into your food. You chatted happily about bumping into Tom, which quickly transitioned into excitement for returning to L.A., as the cold of January in New York City was getting a little old for you both. You loved it here, were all too happy to call it home when your relationship escalated and Adam asked you to live with him. And though you both spent a lot of time away from your New York brownstone, it was always going to be home.

Adam worked to enjoy the rest of the evening, but he’d rather lost his appetite, the food tasteless on his tongue. Because seeing Tom had brought the wave of insecurity crashing back down on Adam, that you were too good for him, too young, that you deserved someone better, to be with someone who smiled more easily and with whom you shared more in common with. He knew you loved him, but his brain kept asking-did you realize what you could have if you broke up?

When you climbed into the car after dinner, having said warm goodbyes to Tom and his party and touring the kitchen with Annie to thank the chef and his team, Adam’s smile dropped. He sat back in his seat, confirming with the driver that he could take them home, before dropping his head against the headrest and closing the divider between the front and back seats.

“Adam?” Your voice cut through the silence after only a few moments, concern evident in your tone.

Adam glanced down at you next to him, softening when he looked into your wide eyes, “Sorry, sweetheart, what’s up?”

You frowned, turning in your seat to face him more directly, “I want you to tell me what’s up, you’ve been in a funny mood half the night-you okay?”

“I’m alright, just tired-that was a lot of food over a long time.” He shrugged, looking away. For a moment, he thought you were going to leave it at that, but he should have known better; one of the reasons he adored you was your commitment to being the most stubborn person in the room. In an instant, you undid your seatbelt and slid from your seat, carefully climbing over him so that you could straddle his lap, all of his attention now on you.

Adam’s hands went to your hips instinctively to hold you steady, as you glared at him, “Babe, I know you’re not saying it, and I don’t want you to feel forced here, but I thought we’d talked about this.” The car hit a minor bump and you sank into his lap, nearly bumping heads, from the force.

He gripped your hips tighter, “We did, I just...I can’t help it, I feel like-like I’m holding you back.” He murmured with his eyes on your stomach, shame flooding through him.

You sighed, not without affection, “Holding me back from what, exactly? You are my everything, Adam, and without you...I can’t even begin to imagine my life without you.”

You slid your hands from his chest to his neck, where they rested gently, thumbs brushing across the lower half of his jaw. Adam closed his eyes briefly, “But if you did imagine it, properly, you might see that someone like Tom-I mean, he’s your age, goes to more parties and events, you’d have more fun-“

Your mouth was on his, cutting off Adam’s words, his mind going blank. The feel of you against him, your lips on his, was more than enough to render him speechless. After a moment, you pulled back, your cheeks flushed and expression serious, “I understand that sometimes, we notice the age gap a little more because the press thinks it’s interesting, but Adam, I need you to understand. I need you to see just how much I do not care about any of that, what they say or think or even about the actual difference in our ages! I never think about it, because it has no effect whatsoever on how fucking madly in love with you I am.” (Y/N) cupped his face in her hands, holding his gaze.

“I-I love you too, so much, pretty girl,” He sighed, his emotions raw, “I just want the best for you, always.”

“You are the best for me, which is why I said yes to marrying you when you got down on one knee, in our apartment, wearing nothing but those ridiculous shorts. It’s why I’d say yes, again and again, Adam. Do you think I like going to parties? That I don’t have fun with you?” Your voice raised slightly in exasperation, while Adam stared at you in wonder; you’d never been so passionate about this before-despite having had the conversation many times, “I have an adventure every single day with you, I love everything about our lives together, and honestly, babe...” Your voice lowered considerably, a soft breathy croon now, “I can’t picture a guy like Tom treating me how you do, knowing exactly what I need from a man, always taking such good care of me.”

She punctuated these words by grinding against him, her eyes darkening in arousal. Adam groaned at the sensation, “Pretty girl, you’re too good for me.”

(Y/N) smiled at Adam, “No, I’m just right for you and you’re just right for me.”

“Damn it, I love you!” He gasped, before sliding one hand from your hip to the back of your neck and pulling you close, his lips on yours before you could reply. You let out a small whimper, melting into him. Your arms circled around his neck, and Adam could feel the intent in your body, the overwhelming need to send him the message that he was yours, and you-you were his.

“I love you, Adam, forever.” You sighed against his lips, deepening the kiss further.

All thoughts that weren’t of (Y/N) kissing him in the back of their town car, soared from Adam’s mind. His new focus on getting you home, so that he could show you just how much he appreciated your patience and understanding. And as you shivered from his touch, his name on your lips, you successfully and unknowingly convinced Adam his doubts were unwarranted, that you loved him endlessly, as he loved you.

#adam driver x reader #adam Driver x you #adam driver #reader insert #reader x tom holland #fanfic #requests open #requested #fluff #angst

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writingblock101 · 4 years

Text

Heir to the Throne (Jason Todd x Reader)

Hello, I love you all so much for being patient with me! I am super excited to share this! This is a continuation to my other two part fic For the Kingdom. You don’t need to read it for it to make sense, but it does give some background.

A huge thank you to the absolutely lovely @incrediblysadstudent who edited and made some really amazing suggestions. She also runs a writing blog where she writes the batfam so definitely go show her some love!

Warnings: Threats of violence, puking

Tags: @idkmanicantenglish (I’ve missed you, my love) @mayahoelland2013

Word count: 4,800

You lean over the toilet with a groan as you retch again. Jason frowns with concern, one hand gently pushing your hair out of your face as his other comfortingly rubs your back. You pause, giving yourself a moment to breathe and spit into the porcelain toilet bowl. Jason leans over and flushes the toilet as you tiredly watch the contents swirl around then disappear.

Sighing, you push past Jason’s hand on your back and fall against the wall, exhausted. Jason’s frown deepens, he hates seeing you like this. He tucks a loose piece of hair behind your ear, grabs the cup of water waiting on the bathroom counter, and brings it to your lips.

Your shaking hands wrap around the cup with Jason helping you tilt it, taking slow sips. As your grip on the cup gets stronger, Jason let’s go, opting to wrap an arm around your shoulder, bringing his lips to your forehead for a sweet kiss. You lean against his chest, your nose wrinkling at the bitter taste in your mouth.

“You alright?” Jason asks quietly.

“Yeah,” You respond, taking another sip of water to wash down the disgusting taste in your mouth.

“Are you though?” Jason’s tone hardens in seriousness. “You’ve been puking for the last two weeks and you’re exhausted all the time. I’m worried about you,” He admits, pulling you closer to his chest.

You stay quiet, staring down into the cup of water. Jason sighs, sounding irritated. He pulls his arm off your shoulder, running his hand through his hair with a frustrated huff.

“You’re hiding something from me,” He looks over at you, nudging your shoulder. You force yourself to look up at him and feel guilt pool in your stomach at the deep look of worry in your husband’s eyes. “We agreed to not do that so whatever is wrong, just tell me and we can deal with it together--”

“I’m pregnant,” You blurt.

Jason blinks, his face blank.

“You’re uh….” He swallows, blinking again in a mixture of confusion and disbelief. “You’re what?”

You reach for his hand, placing it on your still flat stomach.

“I’m pregnant,” You repeat, enunciating the two words slowly.

“You’re… Pregnant…” Jason echoes back. Hearing himself say the words seems to break through the shock as a small smile works its way onto his face. “Holy shit!” He curses with an excited grin, his eyes lighting up. “You’re pregnant!” He exclaims, his eyes flicking from his hand to your face, his smile growing larger by the second.

“I’m pregnant!” You confirm, your voice cracking as you nod your head. Tears of joy well up in your eyes.

“We’re going to have a baby,” Jason’s eyes well up as well, as he pulls you into a tight hug, burying his face into your shoulder.

You hug him back, squeezing with all your strength as a few tears slip, overwhelmed by how perfect this moment feels.

You didn’t mean to be secretive and worry Jason, but you two have been trying to have a child for a little over a year, so you wanted to be sure before you got his hopes up.

It’s hard to believe how far your relationship with Jason has come. What started as an unwilling arranged marriage has developed into a healthy, loving relationship. You were terrified of him, only knowing him through brutal battle stories in which his triumphs were bloody and his mercy was unheard of. The thought of marrying him terrified you straight to your core and made your insides burn with anger, but Jason has proved you wrong every step of the way.

He’s shown you his passion for his kingdom, his heart which is incapable of half-ass love, and his deep respect for everyone around him. Jason is full of passion, fire, and snark. While you two have your bad days and your tempers create blow out fights, you always find your way back to each other because at the end of the day, he’s the love of your life.

Jason pulls back from the hug, cupping your face with his hands, his thumbs wiping your tears. You can’t help but to giggle at the unshed tears brimming in his eyes. Jason huffs with a watery laugh too, leaning in and kissing you sweetly.

You frown, and pull back, your nose wrinkling.

“I just finished throwing up,” You remind him.

“Yeah, I could taste it,” Jason admits with a chuckle.

He rests his forehead against your, the excited grin never leaving his face as he runs his large hands across your stomach.

“We’re going to have a baby,” Jason murmurs to you in amazement, as if he can barely believe the words himself.

You place your hands over his.

“Yeah, we are,” You grin.

Jason kisses your forehead sweetly, pulling you close to him.

Long gone are the days of feeling pressured by advisors to make an heir, tense, fearful sex, and awkward conversations. You’re going to be parents and you can’t imagine embarking on this crazy journey with anyone else.

. . .

A week later, you and Jason are sitting in the kingdom doctor’s office. Jason nervously bounces his foot while Dr. Thompskin spreads cold gel across your stomach.

“It’s a little cold,” You giggle, feeling a chill run up your spine as you look toward your husband who smiles back tightly. Sighing, you reach out to Jason. “You have too much nervous energy.”

Jason takes your hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it and chuckles.

“Yeah, I guess I do…”

“Aren’t I supposed to be the nervous one?” You tease, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

“I don’t even know why I am so nervous…” Jason admits. “I mean, they’re in your body, you should be the nervous one, not me. I don’t even know if it’s really nerves, or if it’s just excitement. I mean, I’ve clearly been around pregnant people, but it’s different because it’s… you,” Jason rambles, his thumb rubbing small circles on the back of your hand.

“Jay, it’s okay,” You tell him, moving your hand to cup his cheek. “It’s okay to be nervous, I’m nervous too,” You smile gently. “But that’s why we’re here, to make sure everything is okay.”

“Speaking of which,” Dr. Thompskin interrupts, moving the wand around your stomach, and points at the screen. “There is your baby, looking very healthy.”

Your eyes dart to the screen as you and Jason stare in awe at the tiny pea sized dot hidden in the fuzzy black and white image. Usually, you don’t understand the hype around early ultrasounds-- you can hardly see the baby-- but staring at your baby, your heart soars with excitement. Faintly, under the sound of your heartbeat through the monitor, you hear another sound, thudding at a faster pace than your heart.

“Is that…” You feel your eyes fill with tears as a smile breaks out across your face, listening more intently for the steady, thudding sound. “Is that their heartbeat?”

“It sure is,” Dr. Thompskin smiles.

You laugh, your grin hurting your face. A few tears slip down your face and you look over to Jason who is smiling with glossy eyes.

“This is actually happening,” You whisper to him.

“Yeah,” He grins, looking toward you. He gently squeezes your hand and turns his attention back to the monitor. “It is.”

. . .

“We need to hang some calendars,” You announce as you walk into Jason’s office, holding lunch on a tray.

Jason stands and takes the tray from you, kissing you on the cheek. Despite only being three months pregnant, Jason barely lets you lift a finger.

“Why is that?” He chuckles, pulling your seat out then moving to sit behind his desk once you are settled.

“Because the advisors don’t seem to know how long a month is,” You roll your eyes.

Ever since you and Jason proudly announced the pregnancy, the advisors have practically been frothing at the mouth at the prospect of a male heir. While a female heir would be fine, she would be more likely to marry into another kingdom as opposed to expanding your kingdom like a male heir would. Of course, you and Jason don’t care; however, the advisors will not stop bothering you about the gender of the baby, which you don’t know yet.

“How many times do I have to tell them I won’t know the gender for another month?!” You rant. “It’s ridiculous!”

The guard posted at Jason’s door snickers at your rant. You turn with a grin.

“Something funny, Quill?” You ask.

“Nothing, your Highness,” Peter stands at attention like the trained knight that he is. “But I think you’re overestimating the advisors abilities to read a calendar.”

Jason starts cracking up while you sigh in exaggeration.

“Shit, you’re right!” You exclaim, resting a hand on your stomach. “You know what will be worse? When we find out the gender, they’re going to “suggest” names.”

“You know they’re going to suggest old names after past kings,” Jason rolls his eyes. “Like Olaf.”

“Olaf?” You repeat back with raised eyebrows. “Yeah, let’s name our kid after the snowman in a kid’s movie,” You roll your eyes.

“You could give them a really intense name,” Peter suggests. “Like Slade or something.”

You pause for a moment, knowing that name is familiar.

“Slade like the mercenary that recently assassinated the King of Cintra?” You ask.

“Oh…yeah… maybe not,” Peter says quietly while Jason just grins.

“So, I’m guessing we’re not going to go with outside suggestions for names?” Jason asks with a knowing smile.

“Probably not,” You snort, resting a hand on your still flat stomach, considering various names.

. . .

“And it’s…” Dr. Thompskin moves the wand slowly. “A boy!” She announces.

“Oh man,” You glance over at Jason, who’s holding your hand, his eyes fixated on the monitor. “The advisors are so not going to leave us alone now.”

“Fuck them,” Jason breathes, dismissing the idea of letting the advisors ruin this moment for you too. He kisses you sweetly, moving his other hand to your growing stomach. “We’re going to have a little boy,” He whispers.

You grin, pulling Jason in for another kiss then look back at the monitor, feeling tears of joy well up. You can’t wait for him to get here.

. . .

“Your Majesty,” A lady curtseys while her lord husband bows. “We want to congratulate you!”

“Thank you,” You smile politely, resting a hand on your now present baby bump, while the other rests on your aching lower back.

“We heard it is a boy!” The lady grins then rushes forward, placing her hand on your stomach. “Boys always kick the hardest!” She winks.

You blink, resisting the urge to shove the woman’s hands off you, but instead stiffly smile.

“Yes, it is. He hasn’t started kicking yet, but I’m sure he will soon,” You tell her through clenched teeth as she rubs your stomach.

“Excuse me,” Jason’s voice smoothly cuts in.

“Your Highness,” The lord bows and the lady curtseys, removing her hands from your stomach thankfully.

“My queen is needed elsewhere,” Jason says assertively, pulling a protective arm around your waist to put distance between you and the noble couple.

“Of course, your Majesty,” The couple bows again and Jason guides you back to the head table, his hand rubbing your sore lower back.

Banquets are an annoying necessity to royalty, especially when they are a king’s coronation banquet to an ally kingdom. When you were younger, you didn’t enjoy them much since your parents often bartered you out to dance with handsy princes, but since marrying Jason, you’ve come to enjoy them more.

Any lord or prince who would hope to dance with you is sent away cowering after one look from your husband. Instead, you are given an excuse to dance with Jason all night; however, being pregnant at a banquet brought its own set of headaches.

At five months pregnant, you’ve developed a noticeable baby bump through your dresses. Despite being the queen of the kingdom, your subjects seem to take your pregnancy as an invitation to touch your stomach without permission, give advice and tips (or weird old wives tales), and share as many opinions as they can. Although you are appreciative of your loyal subjects, you also tire faster and you have to pee all the fucking time, so your nerves get quickly shot at banquets.

“How are you doing?” Jason asks, turning you away from any prying eyes by shielding you with his body.

“Oh, you know, tired of people touching my stomach,” You roll your eyes.

Jason frowns.

“We’ve been here long enough, I’ll talk to Dick so we can leave--”

You stop listening to Jason when you feel feel a strange fluttering in your stomach, almost like bubbles. It flutters for a moment then stops. What was that? It didn’t feel painful, just a little strange. You look down at your stomach, questioning your unborn son then it does it again--

Your eyes widen with realization and you snatch Jason’s hand up, placing it where you feel the fluttering.

“What are you--” The fluttering happens again, cutting off Jason’s sentence. His eyes lock with yours, looking for confirmation. “Is that…?” He trails off quietly.

“He’s kicking,” You grin, feeling tears bubble in your eyes.

You can’t help but tear up, this pregnancy making you so emotional that it feels as though you’ll cry at anything.

“Oh my gosh,” Jason grins, moving to place both hands on your stomach as your son kicks again. “Hey, little guy,” Jason whispers.

“He’s definitely in there,” You smile. You giggle as you feel him kick harder at the sound of your voice. “I hate to admit it, but that woman was right, little boys do kick hard.”

Jason laughs, rests his forehead against yours, both of you enjoying the feeling of your son kicking at your hands.

“Everything okay guys?” Dick walks over, oblivious to the moment you two are having. “I saw another person touching Y/N’s stomach and you looked ready to bite their head off--”

You and Jason glance over at Dick with huge grins.

“Am I interrupting something?” Dick raises his eyebrows.

“He’s kicking,” Jason says proudly, looking down at your bump.

Dick’s face lights up.

“Really?” He exclaims. His eyes dart down to your stomach for a moment, his hand raising in excitement but he hesitates, knowing how annoyed you’ve gotten with people touching you without permission.

You roll your eyes-- Dick is not some random stranger trying to touch you. You certainly don’t mind if he wants to feel the baby. You grab his hand and place it on your stomach, his face lighting up with excitement. He waits then there’s another flutter.

“That is so cool!” Dick grins, shifting his hand to feel the baby kick again. “You guys haven’t picked a name, have you?”

“Not yet,” You tell him.

“Well, I personally think Dick Jr. would be a great name.”

“Well, I personally think you’re wrong,” Jason tells him bluntly.

Dick squawks indignantly, making you laugh.

“Come on, Jay, you said something about leaving?” You ask.

Jason glances at Dick.

“Cover for us?”

“Of course,” Dick grins. “But just consider Dick Jr,” He winks playfully.

Jason chuckles, shaking his head in amusement as he loops his arm in yours.

“Dick, I can think about it until the day the baby is born, but it will never happen,” Jason promises.

Dick mumbles something about Jason being unfair, but waves you two away.

“Come on, your Highness,” Jason teases, escorting you from the banquet.

. . .

A few weeks later, you’re relaxing in bed, reading the latest book Jason gave you, Catcher and the Rye, while he gets ready for bed. You feel your son kick, his kicks getting stronger with each day. You smile to yourself, placing your hand where you can feel his feet kicking you and continue reading.

The bathroom door opens, revealing your shirtless husband who crawls across the bed, his head laying next to your hip while his hands rub your stomach.

“He’s kicking tonight,”You tell him.

Jason lights up.

“Really?” He asks.

“Mmhm,” You shift his hands to where he last kicked and watch Jason grin at the feeling of tiny feet kicking.

“You know, we are going to need to come up with a name,” Jason says, leaning down to kiss your stomach. “This guy will be here in a few more months.” He kisses your stomach again then crawls up the bed to lay back against the pillows, pulling you against his chest. Jason kisses the top of your head, leaning over to read the page you’re on.

“I know…” You tell him.

You and Jason had been tossing around baby names, but nothing was sticking. Neither of you wanted to name your son after anyone in your family and no one had yet to offer a name both of you liked. Naming a person is hard.

“Have you thought of anything else?” You ask, abandoning your book to cuddle with your husband instead.

“How about Liam?” Jason offers, taking a hold of your hand and playing with your fingers.

You wrinkle your nose.

“I knew a Liam in school who was a little shit.”

Jason chuckles, kissing the side of your head.

“Okay, not Liam.”

Neither of you wanted an extremely common name, but you didn’t want to do a strange name either. Finding the middle ground was difficult.

“How about Nathaniel?” You offer.

“Well, that would depend,” Jason starts. “I like that name, but it’s kind of a mouthful, so rather he or his friends… or my brothers would give him a nickname,” Jason rolls his eyes, probably thinking of Dick’s fondness of nicknames. “It would likely be Nathan or Daniel… or Nate. Do you like any of those names?”

“They’re fine names, but I’d prefer those as middle names,” You admit.

“I agree… How about Taylor?” Jason offers.

“Taylor Todd?” You repeat.

Jason giggles behind you.

“If you say it fast enough, it sounds like tater tot.”

“Taylor Todd, Taylor Todd, Taylortodd, Tayortodd, Taytortot,” You start laughing. “It kind of does!”

“So, not that one,” Jason decides. “We suck at this,” He admits.

You chuckle, leaning into him, your copy of Catcher and the Rye catching your eye on the nightstand.

“How about Holden?” You ask.

Jason looks down at you for a moment and follows your eyes to the book, pondering the name.

“Holden?” He repeats. “Holden Todd. I actually like that a lot.”

“It would be suiting for us to name our kid after a book,” You chuckle, recalling how you and Jason finally connected with each other years ago.

Jason grins, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your temple.

“Yeah, it would,” He places his hands on your stomach. “Hey, Holden.”

Holden kicks again, making tears bubble in your eyes.

. . .

Your pregnancy hasn’t been the worst. Sure, you had some morning sickness and been more emotional than you’re used to, but you haven’t gotten any strange cravings, your mood swings aren’t too severe, and you haven’t been overly bloated.

Despite the relatively smooth pregnancy, at month eight of the pregnancy, you’re ready for Holden to be here. Your back and feet are sore, you're exhausted all the time, and you’re tired of not being able to see your toes. Also, you now have the bladder of a squirrel. A squirrel. You just want to meet your son.

You’re tired of going to banquets when you’re pregnant. The elaborate dresses you have to wear to the banquets are already a lot, but peeing in said dresses every thirty minutes? Yeah, you’re tired of being pregnant.

Just like all the other banquets, you know random people are going to touch you and your stomach, ask invasive questions, and try to tell you what to name your baby. You’re probably going to get overwhelmed by all the smells and people then get very irritable, but this is the last banquet you and Jason have to attend for a while, so you’ll put on your kind queen face and behave.

As servers bring in another round of food, you head swims from all the smells. You grimace, trying to ignore the overwhelming smells while listening to whichever lord ramble to you and Jason. Jason wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close. Instead of focusing on the varied food smells melding together, you try to focus on how Jason smells.

Focusing on the fresh scent helps some, but soon, even Jason’s familiar smell blends to the cocktail of food around you, making your head spin even more.

“I’m going to get some fresh air,” You tell him quietly, rubbing a hand over your swollen stomach.

“I can come with you,” Jason offers, taking your hand as he goes to follow you.

“No, stay and socialize. I’ll be okay,” You promise.

Jason looks reluctant, but agrees. You kiss his cheek and excuse yourself from your company then slip onto a side balcony. The instant fresh air eases your headache, making you sigh with relief as you lean against the large, stone railing. You kick off your shoes, toeing them to the side and out from under your long dress. Holden kicks, making you chuckle.

“Nothing smelled good in there, huh bud?” You ask, fondly rubbing your stomach.

You’re so excited for Holden to be born. You can’t wait to see what he looks like, to hold him, and know that he’s really here.

You’re excited to be a parent and you’re even more excited to watch your husband become a parent. Jason’s relationship with his birth father was terrible to say the least. Meeting Bruce was one of the first strokes of luck Jason came across in his life, even if it was in the form of King Bruce Wayne catching twelve year old Jason stealing wheels from the royal carriage.

While Jason is also excited to meet Holden, his anxiety about becoming a father is no secret to you. Despite being nothing like his father, Jason is still afraid of becoming him. You know Jason will never be like his father. Jason is going to be a fantastic dad who is going to love Holden so well.

While daydreaming about the day your son will finally be born, you didn’t notice the balcony door open.

“Well, what do we have here?” That voice sends chills down your spine.

You spin around to come face to face with Roman Sionis. Roman was one of the few people you were unfortunately very familiar with prior to your marriage with Jason. His kingdom strong armed your parents' kingdom into an alliance, meaning Roman often made appearances at your family’s banquets. He’s always made you incredibly uncomfortable, even when you were little.

“The Queen, knocked up with no King to protect her,” He hisses, taking a step toward you.

You feel your chest tighten. Jason’s war with Roman was no small ordeal. He nearly destroyed Roman’s kingdom, forcing the man to rebuild from the ground up. You hadn’t heard from Roman in so long that you’d figured his kingdom was destroyed, but if he’s at a banquet at the Russo kingdom, then that doesn’t mean anything good either.

“So, what are we going to do?” Roman asks, staring at you menacingly.

He takes another step. You step backwards but your back hits the railing. Roman steps closer. Your hand quickly covers your stomach, protectively.

“King Jason has left his poor, defenseless wife out here alone with me,” Roman steps into your space, forcing you to lean back against the railing. “And,” His hand lays on your stomach, making your skin crawl. “She’s pregnant with the precious heir to the throne,” He hisses.

Your heart races as you try to figure out your options. Roman has backed you into a corner. While you have training, unfortunately, that training doesn’t account for all the extra weight in your stomach. Your center of gravity is completely thrown right now. Any hit you try to land will be uncoordinated and likely easily blocked by Roman.

“Well, I guess I need to teach the King a lesson about taking better care of his things,” Roman slips a dagger from his pants and your eyes widen.

“Stop--” You say, finally finding your voice but Roman pushes a hand against your mouth forcing you back farther.

He presses the tip of the dagger into your stomach. Thankfully your dress is thick enough that the blade doesn’t puncture the fabric, but it’s not armor. If Roman puts any pressure, he’ll stab Holden.

Your arms shake against the banister, your whole body pinned by Roman’s. A layer of tears sting in your eyes.

“Sh, don’t worry,” His face hardens. “It’ll only hurt for a second. Maybe your precious King will learn a thing or two about what it’s like to lose something precious.”

You feel him press the blade harder against you, your heart pounding in your chest. Holden kicks the hand you're holding tightly against your stomach, snapping you out of your stupor.

No. He’s not going to hurt your baby. You refuse to let him.

You shove Roman back as hard as you can, then throw all your body weight into a hard punch to his face. Your hand instantly screams in pain and you nearly fall over, not prepared for your extra weight to fling you forward.

“You bitch!” Roman yells, wiping blood from his nose.

He runs toward you, but there’s someone else tackling him to the ground before he comes close to you. Relief floods your system when you realize Jason is on top of Roman, beating his face to a bloody pulp.

“Stay,” Jason punches him between each word. “The. Fuck. Away. From. My. Wife!” He screams.

Roman collapses backwards, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as his face bleeds profusely. Jason stumbles to his feet then quickly rushes toward you.

“Are you hurt?” He demands, cradling your face.

Tears spill over but you shake your head, your brain catching up with the terrifying event. Jason pulls close, holding you tight as you sob against his shoulder, so relieved that Holden isn’t hurt.

“Come on,” Jason whispers to you, kissing your head. “Let’s go home.”

Despite the gentleness in his voice, you can feel him trembling with anger.

That night, you curl up against Jason, his strong arms wrapped tightly around you. He reaches one hand down, rubbing his thumb over your stomach.

“Thank you,” You murmur to him, not specifying what you’re thanking him for.

The way Jason’s arm momentarily tightens let’s you know that he knows what you’re referring to.

“Nothing is going to happen to either one of you while I’m around,” Jason promises, pressing a kiss to your head.

You smile, curling against Jason’s chest, knowing he will do anything to protect you and Holden.

. . .

A month later, you’re looking over the early draft for new kingdom policy in Jason’s office when you feel a gush of water.

“Jason…” You say quietly then a contraction hits, one much harder than the smaller ones you’ve been experiencing all day.

You're bent over, holding your stomach, your other hand gripping the side of his desk. Jason is instantly on his feet squatting in front of you, not sure how to help.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” He asks, helping you lower into a chair.

Another contraction makes you grab your stomach, your eyes squeezing shut for a moment as you take a breath.

“My water broke,” You manage, feeling another smaller contraction.

Jason’s eyes widen at the implication, but springs into action.

. . .

Ten hours of labor later and you’re collapsed on the bed, your back pressed to Jason’s chest as you hold Holden close to your chest. He’s sleeping peacefully, his eyelids fluttering. You press another kiss to the top of his head, already covered in dark hair.

“He has your eyes,” You quietly tell Jason, stroking your fingers over Holden’s nose. “And your head, full of hair.”

Jason grins, gently rubbing a hand down Holden’s back.

“He’s got your nose,” Jason points out. “And eye shape.”

You smile fondly at your son, your chest brimming with love and affection.

“We made a pretty cute kid,” Jason grins.

You turn to look at Jason, kissing him softly.

“Yeah we did.”

Welcome to the world, Holden Daniel Todd, you think to yourself. It’s a scary place, but nothing is going to happen to you, not while your dad and I are around.

You press another kiss to the top of Holden’s head and feel Jason’s arms tighten around you.

“I love you,” He whispers into your hair.

You turn, kissing him again.

“I love you too,” Then lay your head back against Jason’s chest.

Jason shifts so he’s holding you more closely against him and one hand lays on Holden’s back. You’ve never felt more loved and safe in your life. As another bout of happiness warms your chest, you fall asleep to the sound of your husband’s heartbeat and the feeling of your baby breathing against your chest.

Shout out to anyone who catches that Witcher reference. Hope you enjoyed! Request are closed until I am caught up again. I’m already working on the next request, hopefully it’ll be done sooner than this one was!

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yelena-bellova · 3 years

Text

Fault Line: Prologue - Steve Rogers x F!Enhanced!Reader

Prologue - chapter one

Masterlist

Plot: Y/n’s life is a game of hide and seek and so far she’s beaten everybody. But her winning streak may not last as long as she’d hoped it would.

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: OKAY. I have too many fics going at once but I got this idea and couldn’t let it go. I tried writing a Steve x Reader series a while back and it sucked quite frankly, so I spent a little more time developing this one. Steve doesn’t appear in this chapter but plenty of familiar faces do. Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist! (no beta reader because we die like men.)

--------

Bosnian winters were brutal. It got down to freezing temperatures, the pavement was iced over, you couldn’t go a day without being hit by a snowstorm…It was by no means remote but if you were hiding from something, not many people thought to look there. Which meant I was safe.

I casually strolled through the crowded Sarajevo marketplace, the only care in my mind being what I should eat for lunch. As soon as I stepped foot into the city, I knew I was on borrowed time. Not that it mattered, quick escapes were my forte. I spotted a falafel stand run by a middle aged man, one of the only stalls I hadn’t stopped at in the last few days.

“Jedan, molim,” I said, smiling sweetly at the vendor as I watched him make the dish. As he prepared to hand me the finished product, I faked innocence and rushed to dig through the empty pockets of my coat. The man handed me the food wrapped in paper and raised his eyebrows expectantly. I looked up from my coat pockets and tilted my head, “Izvini.” Before he could understand why I was apologizing, I was gone…Having vanished into thin air.

When I reappeared, I was no longer in the marketplace. I was outside the abandoned shack in the Bosnian forest I’d been calling home the last couple days. I was living a ways out from the country’s capital so the search for the disappearing woman remained unsuccessful. Triumphant in having scored lunch, I turned on my heels to head inside my temporary home.

I hadn’t expected the dozen armed soldiers with their guns aimed at me.

“You boys wanna come in for a drink?” I quipped in English, gesturing to the front door, “I’m not sure I have enough for everyone but I can pop out to the store and get some more.” “I’d stay here if I were you,” a shadowed figure said from the front porch, “It didn’t take us long to track you and it won’t be hard to do it again.” Americans. In Bosnia. Interesting…

“Mind telling me who the hell you are?” I called, squinting to try and make the voice’s body out.

A man came forward, stepping in between two of the soldiers who still had yet to lower their weapons. He pushed back the hood of his winter coat to show his face, “Agent Coulson, we’re with S.H.I.E.L.D. We’d like you to come with us.” I looked behind and around me, waiting for someone to make a move. “So I’m supposed to just go with a group of soldiers with their guns pointed at my head? Is it that simple, Agent Coulson?” “It can if you want it to be,” he replied, for as threatening as he should have been he wore a small smile on his face, “We’d like to talk to you.” “About?”

“About how someone like you has been jumping from Russia to Colombia without a plane. Or India to Canada. Or Jamaica to Scotland.”

I raised an eyebrow and casually took a bite of the stolen falafel I still held, “So you have been tracking me.” “Miss Y/l/n, it would seem that you’re highly gifted,” Agent Coulson continued, taking a step closer to me, “We’re here to help you, not to hurt you. I’d like to bring you back to headquarters to talk to you about your abilities.” I smirked as I chewed, “I’m not a mercenary that organizations like yours can just hire for an assassination.” “That’s not why we’re here. It’s not what you can do for us, it’s what we can do for you.” “Hmm,” I sarcastically smiled, “And what is it that I’m getting out of going with you?”

“A life where you don’t have to steal baklava for lunch.”

Having lived how I had for so long, I prided myself on my good instincts. There was good, there was bad and every once in a while there was a grey area. A combination of right and wrong that was subjective to each person’s perspective. As my eyes scanned over Agent Coulson, a professional yet non threatening presence, and the soldiers ready to kill me if I dared to fight back, I decided that I had just landed in a very grey area. If I didn’t go with them, I wasn’t sure what they’d do. If I did, I wasn’t sure what they’d ask of me.

Then again, I was a bit of a grey area myself.

I held up my food, “It’s a falafel.”

————

It had been a long time since I’d been back in the states longer than the five seconds it took to steal a bag of Cheetos from a convenience store.

Agent Coulson had deposited me in a stark white interrogation room and promptly left. After the twenty minute mark passed without anyone entering, disappearing and landing in Cairo began to sound more and more attractive. Just as I was seriously considering it, the locked door opened.

“Miss Y/l/n,” a dark skinned man greeted, “You’re a hard one to pin down.” “Really? Cause according to Agent Coulson, it was as easy as breathing for you guys,” I replied, tightening my crossed arms.

“It got easier once we developed the right tech,” he said, coming to sit in the the chair directly across me, “But apparently you’d never heard of us until today ergo you didn’t know we were tracking you which begs the question…Who were you running from?”

“Wow,” I chuckled, “You don’t beat around the bush, do you?” “I don’t like to waste time.” I snorted before giving him a once over. He wore an eyepatch, all jet black clothing complete with a matching trench coat. He looked the part of Man In Charge perfectly. “If you’re gonna ask me for my life story, I’m gonna need to know a little bit about you too.” “All you need to know about me right now is that I’m a man who sees potential in you.” “Potential?” “Potential.”

“That’s not what people typically see in me,” I narrowed my eyes and shook my head.

“No, they see a thief, a cheat, and I’m willing to bet,” the man leaned forward and put his arms on the table that separated us, “Somebody sees you as a threat.” Oh, if only he knew…

“If you’re a government agency then you already have a file on me, meaning that there’s not going to be much I have to say that you don’t already know,” I spoke up, making sure to continue matching the guy’s intense eye contact.

He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head in concurrence before turning to the double sided glass window. It didn’t take more than five seconds before the door opened and Agent Coulson stepped through carrying a manila folder. He handed it to my questioner before disappearing through the doorway once again, I almost wished he would stay. He was the only person I knew at the moment.

“Looks like you’ve been all over,” the man observed as he flipped through the folder, “Gotten yourself into a lot of trouble and whenever someone catches you, poof! Like magic…”

I was excellent at hiding, but I knew when I was beat. As nice as leaving sounded, S.H.I.E.L.D knew too much about me for me to run.

“I don’t know,” I sighed, lowering my gaze to the table.

“Don’t know what?” “I don’t know who I’m running from,” I continued, “But they’re there. If I stay in one place for too long, someone breaks into whatever rusted shed I’m living in or ambushes me in the middle of a bazaar…Somebody wants me.” The man had stopped browsing my file and was intently watching me recount my story, “How long’ve you been on the run?” “Five years,” I explained, suddenly not comfortable with meeting him eye to eye “I was fifteen, woke up in God knows where with no memory of how I got there. While I was wandering around trying to figure out where I was, a group of men tried to grab me. Fortunately for me,” my lips twisted into a smirk, “I can make a quick getaway.”

“You remember where you’re from?” I inhaled deeply and shut my eyes as I exhaled, “No. Any memories before I started living like this are…blurred. I can almost make out a few, mostly from when I was a kid, but I don’t remember any details about my life other than my name and my age. Got anything in your almighty folder that can fill in the gaps?” “We only know what you’ve told us and what you’ve chosen to shown the world,” he replied as he reopened the packet, “Looks like disappearing isn’t the only trick you’ve got up your sleeve.”

“A girl’s gotta defend herself somehow,” I cocked an eyebrow, by now I’d relaxed my rigid posture and was tracing shapes on the table with a finger, “But if you’ve done as much research as you say you have then you should know I don’t bring any of that out unless I absolutely have to.” “Oh, I’ve seen the security cam footage,” he laughed, folding his hands together in front of him, “You put on quite a show. That’s that potential I was talking about.”

After a beat of silence, I finally asked the million dollar question. “What is it that you want from me, Director Fury?”

He should’ve been surprised, most people were, but it didn’t seem like me digging around in his mind was more of an event than eating breakfast was. “Only when you absolutely have to, huh?”

I gave him a small shrug and waited for him to answer. He kept his eyes locked on me, nodding his head ever so slightly. “Miss Y/l/n, whether you’ve thought about it or not, you have the ability do a lot more with yourself than skipping out on the dinner bill. You could be out there stopping the kind of people that are after you instead of running from them. And if you weren’t interested in the prospect of that even just a little, you wouldn’t still be sitting here.” Now there he was right. I agreed to come with Agent Coulson, I willingly let them bring me into an interrogation room, I’d discussed vulnerable details of my life with Director Fury…There was a small part of me that wanted to be a part of something.

“You wanna keep bouncing between continents praying that you don’t get caught? That’s fine, it’s no skin off my back,” Director Fury held his hands up in mock surrender and promptly lowered them back down, “But you stay and you can be a part of a world bigger than you could possibly imagine.”

The only world I’d ever known was spinning a globe, picking a random location, finding the most remote part of the county, stealing what I needed to get by and living in abandoned houses. I’d never had any sense of security. And while the life that Director Fury was offering me gave no guarantee that I’d live long enough to grow old, it didn’t require me to stay as paranoid as I was in the name of survival. I’d gotten by just fine on my own, but I’d never allowed myself to think of a future where I didn’t have to just get by…

“I already told Agent Coulson that I’m not a mercenary,” I began firmly, “I’m not a weapon for you to utilize whenever you want. I’m not joining some super secret spy organization only to find out after a while that I’m working for the bad guys,” I paused to take a slow breath, “But I don’t particularly enjoy being a criminal and if what you’re saying is true, I’m willing to give it a shot.” Director Fury gave me a single nod and just like that, I’d accepted a job without actually committing to sticking around. Fury turned once again to the double sided mirror and the door swung open, ushering in Agent Coulson, a redheaded woman and a blonde man I had yet to meet.

“You’ve already met Agent Coulson, I’d like to introduce you to Agent Romanoff,” he gestured to the woman, “And Agent Barton,” he looked towards the blonde, “He and Coulson will be some of the senior personnel personally overseeing your transition into S.H.I.E.L.D and I have a hunch you and Miss Romanoff will work well together.” “I work just fine on my own, thank you,” I stated, the thought of trusting someone to have my back sent the walls I’d just lowered shooting back up.

“I hate to break it to you but we work as a team here,” Agent Romanoff said, her voice cool and unaffected by my displeasure. If anything, it seemed like she found it slightly amusing, “Besides, you don’t have anything to worry about. Agent Barton’s my partner.”

Director Fury made for the door, Agent Romanoff and the still silent Agent Barton following promptly. “I’ll leave it to Coulson to get you settled, but I’ll be watching your progress closely.” I could give the man credit, he knew how to wear the whole Tall, Dark, Man-With-All-The-Secrets hat well except for one thing. He couldn’t keep any secrets from me. Once the room’s occupancy had lessened, my eyes flew to Agent Coulson.

“What’s the Avengers Initiative?”

He wore a small and knowing smile, “A work in progress. For now, let’s focus on getting you through training then we’ll work on finding you a partner.”

Standing up to follow him out the door, I protested against his checklist, “I already said-“ “I know, but there may come a time where you change your mind,” he interrupted, his tone had gone from professional to semi-friendly as we walked down the hall, “This job is rewarding, but it’s hard work. Having the right partner by your side makes it all a little easier. You’ll see…”

We approached a railing that overlooked the main floor of the headquarters. Coulson didn’t think twice about the view while I approached it curiously. There were people everywhere, more than I’d been around in a long time. Something about the sight of so many individuals dedicated to doing the right thing made something inside of me relax. Maybe for the first time in my life, I was right where I needed to be.

Agent Coulson must have sensed my peace, he came to stand beside me and turned his gaze to where mine was. “Welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D.”

--------

Translations: Jedan, molim: One, please.

Izvini: Sorry.

#marvel imagine #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine

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murder-raven13 · 3 years

Text

My Haikyuu Ships pt. 1

A/N: I figured out the keep reading thing!!! Just took a month

This is a list of my Haikyuu ships. I’ll add an explanation for some if I have one. There is no rhyme or reason to the order of this list.

Warning(s): cursing, minor spoilers (manga & anime), not proofread, loooooong

Word Count: 1,786

Part 2 Part 3

Hinata x Kageyama

Kageyama struggles with communication and understanding others. Hinata, on the other hand, overcommunicates and has a knack for understanding people, even if he doesn’t realize that he does. Plus, Kageyama has struggled to find connections with people because of his zeal for volleyball. This on top of his trouble with communication made it hard for him to make friends. But Hinata matches Kageyama in his zeal and covers Kageyama’s communication weakness well, all while Kageyama gives Hinata a proper volleyball outlet and pushes him to constantly strive to be his best, so I think they’re neat together.

Hinata x Kenma

Again, Kenma is someone that’s not the best at communication, with a little dose of social anxiety on the side. He’s a lot softer than Kageyama and struggles with communication because he thinks too much (which is the opposite of Kageyama lol). Hinata makes him feel comfortable enough that he can communicate without overthinking himself into a hole. And Kenma, for Hinata, gives him a way to talk and an honest opinion when he needs it.

Atsumu x Suna

I will take not shit for ship. They are so cute together. During the match Inarizaki played against Karasuno, Atsumu and Suna bantered and, during the flashbacks, Suna and Atsumu were shown to have a pretty good relationship. Plus, Suna is a pretty laid back person and Atsumu is obviously the kind of person that would overwork himself to death or push forward without thinking of the consequences. Suna is a brutally honest person, but I feel like he struggles a bit with moving forward because it’s hard for him to feel motivated. So, Suna can keep Atsumu from going too far and Atsumu can help motivate Suna to move forward when he doesn’t feel like he can.

Kageyama x Tsukishima [as adults]

Honestly, I don’t even have a good reason for this. They would be dysfunctional because they suck at feelings. Tsukishima never actually says what he means because he’s high key scared of being vulnerable. And Kageyama sucks at communication (but, after Suga’s advice, he takes a much more direct approach to handling Tsukishima, which I feel is what Tsukishima would need in a relationship) and he also sucks at reading body language (particularly Tsukishima’s) which I feel would be something he would need to be with Tsukishima. But Tsukishima would force Kageyama to begin to think more critically in order to keep up with him and Kageyama would force Tsukishima to be more forthcoming with his emotions, even if just because Tsukishima would have to up his passion levels to keep up with Kageyama. So, if they could figure it out, I think they would be a very good couple. If they didn’t though, I feel they would be lowkey toxic.

Daichi x Suga

Can you watch Haikyuu and not ship these two??? Daichi is very calm, collected, and stable. And that’s a good balance with Suga, who’s an instigator, a meddler, and a worrier. They both care a lot and their very attentive, but they’re opposites in that Suga is a chaotic little monster with an angel face. So they would be a good balance when it came to a relationship. Plus, they would be the sappiest motherfuckers alive together, so, they’re kind of like a comfort, fluff ship.

Nishinoya x Asahi

This another one where I ship because they are opposites. Noya is extremely brazen and confident. Asahi is extremely the exact opposite; he’s shy and awkward and self-conscious. Noya, in canon, gets onto Asahi for being self-degrading and hypes him up when he feels Asahi needs it. And Asahi is someone Noya looks up to because he’s strong, even though he struggles, and someone he wants to see succeed. Asahi forces Noya to calm down and allows him to actually feel afraid. One of the reasons Noya understands Asahi so much is because he struggled with being scared when he was younger. So, I feel like Asahi can feel comfortable with Noya because he knows that Noya understands and, at the same time, knows that Noya managed to overcome his fear, which is probably really comforting. Overall, they’re fucking cute and I c a n n o t

Hinata x Tsukishima

They would be so cute, please. Tsukishima is so mean because he’s a big baby and Hinata straight up does not care. It’s also canon [from during the practice match with Seijoh] that Hinata doesn’t like seeing Tsukishima picked on or struggling [he legit offered himself in Tsukki’s place]. Hinata is a big ball of bright emotion and energy where Tsukishima is more clam and reserved, but Hinata has the ability to draw real emotion out of Tsukishima. They’re another two that would balance well. They’re relationship would be a lot of teasing and mocking, though [they have about 3 million inside jokes and Tsukishima revels in leaving people confused with them].

Kiyoko x Tanaka

Please, this man proposed the first time he saw her. And he legit stayed dedicated, but never overstepped Kiyoko’s boundaries. He never harassed her or did anything to make her feel uncomfortable. And Kiyoko was never mean to Tanaka, even when she rejected or ignored him. They had a stable relationship because Tanaka’s a goddamn gentlemen [can you tell I simp for this man?] and Kiyoko knows it. She fell in love with him over time because of how respectful and thoughtful Tanaka was. Plus, she’s seen firsthand, for years, the dedication and passion in Tanaka’s character, which is a good contrast to her colder, calmer personality. She gives Tanaka stability and Tanaka gives her passion and comfortability. The fact that this ship is canon gives me life.

Nishinoya and Tanaka

The level of chaos in this ship, oml. Two disasters. Absolute mess all the time. They love each other so much and they’re both like walking hype-men. Literally no insecurities in this relationship. They are the two most dedicated boys in existence. And they like to have fun, so they’re constantly challenging each other, which keeps their relationship fun and growing; it never really settles, no matter how long they’ve been together because they’re always finding something new to love about the other. They would go on adventures together. So cute.

Kuroo x Kenma

They’re childhood friends. It is law. Kuroo is so smart and so serious and so caring. He makes sure that Kenma isn’t neglecting himself for his games. And he made sure that Kenma got involved with the team so that he would have friends when Kuroo was gone. And Kenma lets Kuroo delve into his passions and gives him a safe place to relax and be goofy. Kenma is so aloof, but also really caring as well and he’s always paying attention, so he would know immediately when Kuroo was pushing himself too far and needed to let off steam [y’all remember that scene where he asked Kuroo if he wanted to level up (go play volleyball) after they lost a game because he couldn’t just sit and game knowing that Kuroo was upset over the loss? yeah that shit]. And Kuroo gives Kenma somewhere safe and secure where he can be himself without worrying about anything else.

Kuroo x Tsukishima

This is one of my favorite ships. They’re both ridiculously smart, so the conversations and witty sass between these two is literal gold-tier shit. Tsukishima never lets himself be goofy and I feel like, the longer that went on, the more it would wear on him mentally. Kuroo, on the other hand, knows the important of not being serious all the time. So, he would bring Tsukishima out of his shell and give him a safe space to be a dorky as he wanted. And Kuroo could talk all the Chemistry and science he wanted and Tsukishima would be able to keep up with him. They would constantly be challenging each other intellectually and they would know so much random shit because of it. Definitely the couple that has trivia date nights just to see who’s smarter. They would be such a well-rounded couple because they would balance and push each not just intellectually, but in every aspect of their lives. I can see them being the couple where one has an exam and the other just brings them coffee or tea, gently mocking and praising them until they can find it in themselves to study and get everything done. The one that doesn’t have the exam or big project at work would do the house chores, quietly, though, so the other could focus on what they needed to do. They would know just when the other needed space and when they needed a distraction or comfort. They just...would know each other so well and I-

Bokuto x Akaashi

[Did you think I wasn’t going to do this one?] Bokuto and Akaashi are both passionate and dedicated. Akaashi is a lot more emotionally stable, but he’s also an extreme overthinker. Man overthinks everything. Bokuto, on the other hand, is an under thinker that functions almost purely on his emotions. So, overthinker + under thinker = the perfect amount of thinking. That combined with the fact that Akaashi is emotionally intelligent, but not emotionally expressive means that Bokuto, who is emotionally intelligent and extremely expressive, can help maintain the right amount of communication in their relationship.

Iwaizumi x Oikawa

I wasn’t kidding when I said this was law for childhood friends. I meant that shit. Oikawa is manipulative, calculating, and extremely driven. But he has no concept of his own limitations or elects to ignore them because he wants to improve. Oikawa is really insecure, too, because he’s constantly trying so hard, pushing himself further than he can go, and it’s still never been enough to make him the best. Because of his fangirls and his desire to be the best, Oikawa is constantly making himself seem perfect, which means hiding parts of his personality at times. And he’s the type of person that has control over his emotions because he’s pretty methodical when it comes to his goals; he’s willing to literally do whatever it takes to succeed at what he wants. Iwaizumi, on the other hand, has known him long enough that Oikawa can literally not be perfect with him. Oikawa has to be real around Iwaizumi, who knows and acknowledges his true personality in its entirety, even going as far as to point out Oikawa’s flaws constantly, to remind Oikawa that he knows him and stays anyway. They make damn good outlets for each other and they know each better than anyone else, which means that they are, quite literally, each other’s safe space.

I have more ships, of course, but this post is already long as shit, so I’ll post those in a part 2

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