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cheesus-doodles · 2 months

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An Unfortunately Timed Birthday

Yandere Koko

Masterlist

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Happy belated Birthday to Koko! missed the actual day of 1st April by a couple of days but truly, having a birthday then instead of the other 364 days of the year XD

truly sorry for the reposts yall, but this fic isn't appearing in the tags for reasons ;-;

"Come on, hop on!" You insisted as you patted the pillion seat of the motorcycle. “Let’s get started already!”

It was the first time Koko swore he had seen you on one, yet you already looked way too comfortable seated in the saddle of the overly-large bike where you had been waiting for him outside his house. Where did you get that? And without him knowing? Did you even have a license?

But those were questions that he decided to keep to himself for now; after all, he didn’t want to be a wet blanket on your very visible excitement. "I don't ride bikes," he mumbled, though the black-haired boy was quick to correct himself. "I mean, in general. Not just when you’re the one driving.” A pause, and silence as the tension churning in his gut. Fuck. The more he spoke, the more he was driving his foot further and further into his mouth. Maybe he should have just stopped at his first sentence.

Despite the day being especially cool, the usually oppressive afternoon sun tucked away behind clouds, though this was one of those days that the Black Dragon delinquent wished it was hot. At least you wouldn't be able to see the nervous sweat beading on his forehead. Fortunately for him, you looked merely confused at his words, cocking your head. “Then how will we get there?”

“Get where?”

“To the park, of course!” Your expression once more burst into smiles as you waved your hand about excitedly. “I have a whole day planned for us! We’re going to play baseball, and then we’ll go for a looonnnggg ride in the countryside before we eat ice cream for dinner!”

Koko couldn’t bite down the grimace growing over his face as you spoke despite his best efforts, the furrow of his eyebrows surely as clear to you as to him. Don’t get him wrong, there certainly was nothing better than spending time with you, but this growing list of his most hated activities - was this what you truly wanted to do? On his birthday? The boy shivered. Playing ball games, riding motorcycles and no food; absolutely not. But how should he play this without hurting your feelings? "Listen," he started carefully, sliding his hand into yours as those slit eyes ever so carefully watched your expression. “How bout we head out to a nice restaurant instead? Your favourite has space, we could take it easy and-”

“Koko!” You rebutted instantly, and his face fell. “I can’t let you treat me, it’s your birthday!”

“But-”

“Nope!”

He sighed, resigning himself to his fate. At the end of the day, he just couldn’t say no to you. “All right then.”

Yet just as he was about to climb onto the motorcycle, you suddenly burst into laughter, shoving the unsuspecting delinquent away before clambering off the bike yourself. “I’m kidding, Koko! April Fool’s!”

The realization hit said boy like a truck, and he let out a loud groan. So it was all a prank. Rolling his eyes, he couldn’t stop the long-suffering grin from pulling at his lips as you threw yourself at him, pulling him into a tight hug and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “The bike?”

“I borrowed it,” you hummed. “Not sure where Inupi got it from though.”

Ah. Inupi.

“So what’s the real plan?”

You pulled out a simply enormous picnic basket from its hiding spot, tucked neatly behind the trunk of a nearby tree. “I got your favourites all here. Let’s find somewhere cool.”

Such an unfortunately timed birthday indeed, Koko mused to himself as you tugged him down the street, leaving the motorcycle parked where it stood outside his house. But all this was worth if he could spend such a special day with you.

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uncharismatic-fauna · 2 months

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The Dragon Drags On

Though seldom seen today, dragons, of the genus Draconis, are some of the most famous creatures in the world, known for their size, ferocity, elegance, and supposed love for treasure. Though the exact number of dragon species is unknown, there are at least a dozen that are officially recognized; the real number is likely much higher. Once widespread, the range of this group has declined dramatically in the past centuries and populations are now believed to reside in only the most remote parts of the world. Most of what we know of dragons comes from historical records, and study of live specimens has proved impossible due to their rarity.

Because of their global distribution, dragons display a wide variety of morphological traits, including coloration, features, and even the number of limbs. However, some traits are common to nearly all species. Most dragons are thought to be brightly colored, often red, green, or blue; many species also have gold patterns in some form. As reptiles, dragons are covered in scales, though some also posses feathers or manes. Dragons also have extremely long, flexible tails which in some species may act as a supplementary limb. The body is generally long and serpant like, with the exception of the European Dragon and the mushhushshu, or Babylonian dragon. Though all species share an ability to fly, only the European dragon has a functional set of wings. The mechanics of flight for other species are unknown. The European dragon is also noted for its ability to breathe fire; other species such as the Chinese Dragon, or lóng, are more often associated with water.

All dragon species are believed to be carnivorous, though the content of their diet varies from region to region. Due to their large size, it is believed that they predate upon larger mammals such as cattle, sheep, camels, llama, deer, and even megafauna like elephants. Though they lack natural predators, their consistent targeting of livestock and game animals has in the past led dragons into conflict with humans; centuries of dragon hunting for sport and to protect agricultural interest has pushed the dragon to the brink of extinction.

Very little is known about the breeding habits of dragons. Like most large reptiles, they are believed to be solitary and fiercely territorial. It is also likely that they lay eggs, but whether parents provide any kind of care for their clutch or hatchlings is unknown. To date, no record of juvenile dragons has been found, indicating that the rate of survival to adulthood is extremely low. This may be due to predation on hatchlings by opportunistic animals, or adult dragons may attack and kill juveniles to defend their territory, or a combination of the two.

Although they are extremely rare today, dragons have been and continue to be important part of cultures around the world. Ancient civilizations such as the Aztec, Egyptians, and Mesopotamians all revered dragons as dieties. Many other cultures incorporated dragons into their folklore and mythologies, and in many parts of the world the dragon has come to symbolize power, changes in the seasons, or natural disasters, among other things. In more modern times, dragons have come to be associated with wealth, though there is no biological evidence for treasure-hoarding behavior.

Conservation status: Because no dragon species has been sighted for several centuries, they are largely believed to be extinct; however, the IUCN has yet to make a formal declaration. A few hopeful biologists believe that some species still survive in remote locations such as the deep Amazon rainforest or the mountains of Central Asia.

April Fools! I hope you enjoyed this departure from the usual content. I will be on hiatus until April 9th, as I'll be helping a friend with his field research. In the meantime, feel free to send in questions, commons, requests for a particular animal, or proof-of-donation submissions to help the people of Palestine; I'll respond to them all if I have spare time or when I get back!

Photos

A mosaic of a mushhushshu (Draconis babylonia) on the Ishtar Gate, constructed in the 6th century in Babylon; photo by Jan van der Crabben

A bust of an Amazonian dragon (Draconis quetzalcoatl) carved in 150-200 CE in Teotihuacan; photo via Wikimedia Commons

An illustration of a European Dragon (Draconis europa) from 15th century Italy, by the British Library

A Chinese dragon (Draconis qin) depicted as one of the eleven dragons in a Ming dynasty scroll, via the Smithsonian National Museum of Asian Art

A page from an illuminated manuscript of the Hamzanama, dated to the 16th century, showing a Persian dragon (Draconis mughal) via the Museum of Applied Arts in Vienna

#dragons #unreality #april fools #animal facts #biology #zoology #ecology

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lightheaded-dullahan · 11 months

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Alright, strap in for the lie of the decade So I got this ask

So I think; “well what’s this all about?” I open it up and its this pretty quoted interview, so I’m like “huh so what’s ‘oh boy’ about this? Then I start to read. AND OH BOY.

I think most people who look into Fate/Apocrypha have heard of this interview with Nasu and Higashide. If you haven’t; here is a quick run down of its contents.

Written out; if the image is annoying to read:

Trivia from interview with Kinoko Nasu, Takeshi Takeuchi, Konoe Ototsugu & Yuichiro Higashide. (Source from Comptiq, Newtype and etc). - The ligh novel was greenlit by Nasu, as supervisor, Higashide as writter and Konoe as illustrator art. - David, St.George, Kintoki Sakata & Musashibo Benkei were scrapped by Kinoko Nasu’s idea. - Nasu said these servants doesn’t fit into plot and they were replaced by four new servants instead. - Chiron, Avicebron & Achilles were designed by Takeuchi & Nasu, illustrated by Konoe in charge of character design. - Mordred is the culture of festival achievement thanks from TYPE MOON fanbase. - Addition of Mordred into F/A was Takeuchi’s idea and Nasu agreed. - Mordred was orginally to be male but Nasu feel that having two male characters look feminine (the other being Astolfo) would be too much. - However, Mordred as a male was not Nasu’s claim of actual fact. In truth, Nasu didn’t decided for final Mordred’s gender since Fate/Stay Night until Fate/Apocrypha. Which mean Mordred was “genderless” in F/SN. - After the project of online game was scrapped, Nasu said that all servants are too ridiculous powerful and might bored if the player’s powerful servant was facing against other player’s powerful servant. It’s like a hax. - The online game was based on Infamous 2’s gameplay style. - Nasu & Takeuchi were laughing about more Saber clone. In fact, Mordred is the real clone of Saber (Altria), so the wish has come true for those people who still saying about Saber clone. - Karna is Nasu’s favorite servant. Karna’s popularity has been skyrocket thanks to Fate/Extra CCC. - Astolfo is Konoe’s favourite servant. He is symbol mascot of Fate/Apocrypha. Higashide can’t even tell if this is comfortable or not since Astolfo is dude. - Yggdmillennia, Sisigou & Kotomine Shirou were planned by Nasu, Takeuchi & Higashide. - Higashide wrote all Sisigou, Reika & Black camp’s character development, while Homunculus, Kotomine Shirou & four new servants’s character development was already written by Nasu. - Nasu said that Shirou is basically a character who look to have “light outside and darker inside” personality. Uncanny different trait from Kirei. - Homunculus (Sieg) was Nasu & Takeuchi’s idea. Nasu wanted introduce male homunculus in Fate series for the first time. - Takeuchi & Konoe said Homunculus looks cute but dense person. - Takeuchi stated Homunculus & Jeanne are his new favorite characters, along with Altria. - Interviewer mention about why Takeuchi like Homunculus. He reply "It’s a secret" due it will trigger the spoiler. - Jeanne is based on real french student girl according to Takeuchi. She was at same college where Takeuchi studied, before he met someone as model of Arcueid Brunestud’s design from Tsukhime come to his mind. - The difference between Altria & Jeanne is sex appeal. Which is already explained in TYPE MOON April Fool 2012, where Heroine X (Altria) in furious when she heard that Jeanne’s sex appeal is better than her. - Tsukihime is Higashide’s favorite visual novel. - Nasu stated homunculus like Mordred can summoned as Heroic Spirit despite not human being. - The rules of magecraft in Apocrypha universe are same as in Fate/Stay Night & Fate/Zero except that there is no rule of Ruler classes. - Ruler’s duty is protect the Holy Grail and oversee the battle. - Interviewer asked Nasu & Higashide about why Jeanne hijack Leticia’s body rather than ritual summon. Nasu stated it was something broke the rule of HGW and corrupted the system. - Nasu mention the first servant who hijack human body is Avenger, Angra Mainyu from Fate/Hollow Ataraxia. Who control Emiya Shirou’s body and mind since he has no body but void form. The theory that come from Rin Tohsaka was correct. - Roa from Tsukihime was also can hijack the human body (Ciel & Tohno SHIKI) but reincarnation soul while he was in Akasha. - Nasu & Higashide admit it was silly idea in the first place. But they wanted Jeanne to have some disadvantages/weakness for herself due she was powerful servant and might kinda “boring” if she summoned as spirit form. (Avoid fan calling her a mary sue). - Which mean any servant can hijack the human body while in critical condition but it's rarely. - Karna’s background story has been altered in comparison to his original myth in Mahabrarat. This means, Karna is Nasu!Karna, not Myth!Karna which we know. - The rule of summoning Ruler is who can guide the war during in his/her past and a sainthood(?) as specific condition. Only one Ruler class is summoned in one war. The this system works in Apocrypha universe only. - St.George was remove because of this. Karna, however he refuse refer himself a saint and a killing machine who can kill God, summoned as Lancer class instead. - The Greater Grail force summon the servant as Ruler when met the condition completed. - If Jeanne is summoned in different universe without rules of Ruler, her class will be obviously Saber. She still will be summoned as Ruler if the mishap of war affected the result in different universe. - Jeanne was first mention in Kara no Kyoukai’s light novel reference: Mikiya Kokutou mentions her when he was discussing about Heroic Spirits who utilized the power of the Counter Force. - While the design for Jeanne wasn’t made during the production of the Fate/Zero novels, the design was completed around the time of the anime adaptation.

This translation was provided by @/ shinichameleon - who, in fact, is still pretty active in this fandom. They still post to this day. Now; what’s wrong with this? Well most importantly, Mahabharata is misspelled- no I’m joking that’s not the most important.

Most importantly is This interview is a lie.

https://web.archive.org/web/20151107012557/http://shinichameleon.tumblr.com/post/62039911382/fateapocrypha-vol2-translation-of-detail

This is the interview being claimed has this information. But - this is an interview by Higashide ALONE after Apoc Vol. 2 was releasing. Nasu isn’t in this interview. At all. So; is there *any* interview with Nasu & Higashide? Yes; in Type Moon Ace 8. But that was *before* Apoc began its release so none of this information would have been there. So; maybe its another one? Well, as Petrikow on Fate/Apocrypha Free Range Spoiler thread discovered; no archivist has listed any other interview with both of them. Well what about the rest of the post? Seems like information is just from the product itself, not any interview. But why does this matter? Well; because this user, Shinichameleon has a rather ...unsavory reputation.

In addition this this set; they’ve also posts a supposed new route for the Ufortable adaptation. Which....is blatantly untrue as we’ve seen. But then so this person lies about fate stuff (and gets it circulated for a decade), so what? Well they’ve also got banned from fate reddit(s) for posting false information. This includes falsely claiming Japanese Mordred and Semiramis fans hated each other; than Semiramis was hated in JP, KR, and CN fan bases after vol.4,5, and 6. They also tried to pull something similar with summer Ibuki, which is also proven not reliable at all through machine translation, using their own opinion as proof of character popularity, taking people out of context, and genuinely bringing bad fate (heh) arguments. But what else have they done? Completely make up information about Kiara Sessyoin?? Yep. They completely made up info.

“According from Kinoko Nasu & Takeuchi Takashi in EXTRA Material, Kiara Sessyoin is not her real name. Her real name is Inoriara Sessyoin and her actual age is late twenties. She was born as the daughter of true mantra of Tachikawa yo Tennaga, but she was bedridden and didn’t existed until at the age of 14 because she was sickly by birth. She was caught in commandments, that for their own “pitiable” appearance of the surrounding people who didn’t know it saves by saying, a pure human’s image that existed in the story vanished too.

At the age of 14, the believer was told by a doctrine of spirit hacking, her sickness recovers in a moment completely unknown to the outside. However, it accompanies along missing people and the dead increased suddenly, and she was completely denied in the presence level to the father who became aware of the accident, the reason “Though she is a woman, I am seeking to become one with that woman”, he denied to realize it, then expelled on suspicions of violating two taboos of the Tachikawa Style. To that morrow, she takes away the father’s skull principal image, states “the master is deprived of technique tools” the last taboo was broken with this, the killer match of the believer, it left from all religious organizations that had become the dead, excluding her.

Afterwards, though she has saved the believers’ belief of the Tachikawa Style, the believe who became loved dearly was said to committed suicide one after another for her. In addition, she was put on the wanted list by the Western Europe plutocracy for the exploitation of code cast of the electronic brain, the maximum taboo in history.

Also she can fights and take down an average human nor a weak servant by her own potential without her final boss form. Just look at this video and count how many skills she got (Spoiler alert). And she is the first person who awakes ORT from eternal slumber....according from Koha Ace. Are you for real Keikenchi? “ So; fun fact -- none of this is true. It’s all made up. Oh; but you know what’s the MOST infruitating? “ The difference between Altria & Jeanne is sex appeal. Which is already explained in TYPE MOON April Fool 2012, where Heroine X (Altria) in furious when she heard that Jeanne’s sex appeal is better than her. “

THIS IS FAKE. THE FUCKING SEX APPEAL DIFFERENCE IS FAKE. You know the shit about Siegfried and Semiramis having a different artist and copyright issues with that is probably fake too. Anyways; what does this all mean? WE need to fucking recheck probably a good chunk of things we’re spreading around in this fandom. It also means that a lot of information on the Fandom wiki is likely straight up false (not surprising) which can mean its absolutely *useless* for lore referencing for *anyone*. This is for the English speaking side of the fandom so far; so; yeah. This is pretty fucked. Shinichameleon is now posting in danganronpa reddits so; I guess look out danganronpa fans.

#fate #fate stay night #fate apocrypha #fgo #long post #psa #I've stalled on posting this long enough so here we go.#I think this is a suitable summary of what was found.#this is looooooong

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7grandmel · 2 months

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Todays rips: 31/03/2024

Your Best Nightmario and Bowser's Finale

Season 5 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume C

Ripped by Blookerstein

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Season 5 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume C

Ripped by Blookerstein, Sarvéproductions

youtube

Requested by themessengervevo! (@themessengervevo)

You KNEW this day was coming. Surely, right? Its March 31st, a landmark day in gaming history. The day that Super Mario died. The day we lost him to time forever. And the day that spawned perhaps the greatest April Fools event on all of SiIvaGunner. For me, its no contest - Your Best Nightmario and Bowser's Finale, and the entire event they were part of, were the absolute highlight of Season 5.

The April Fools events held prior on the channel since their very beginnings with Grand Dad Metropolis had all been presented as complete surprises. That is perhaps a given - it is in the nature of a prank to be surprising - but it's also where the Season 5 event differs most even today, in that its theme was all but known to us well beforehand. Announced on September 3rd of 2020 as part of a bizarre marketing tactic to drive up demand, Nintendo had let us known that their newfangled Mario celebration releases in Super Mario 3D All-Stars and Super Mario Bros. 35, would both be delisted from sale after March 31st. Super Mario Bros. 35 stung in its own right - it is effectively lost media now as a digital-only, online-only game, but Super Mario 3D All-Stars contained three of Nintendo's most celebrated games, games that had no reason to stop being sold just for a cheap trick. Everyone rightfully denoted how scummy of a tactic this was to drive up sales, but more than that: the imagery of Nintendo celebrating Mario's birthday by killing his games - and by proxy, killing Mario himself - was a joke that online spaces just ran absolutely rampant with. And can you blame them? That IS funny as shit, and reframes Nintendo's slimy marketing into something that makes them look far worse. Because of the joke's sheer prevalence, I had the same thought as many others in the early days of 2021 - there was *no way* that the SiIvaGunner team were blind to the potential this gag had, and how well it lined up with their previous explosive festivities just a day after. By March 29th, they even teased the event's start with three daily rips of The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, a game all about impending doom affecting the world in just three days, with each rip featuring the melody of one of the three 3D Mario games in the collection.

And sure enough, the day came. With March 31st, we saw a whole day of nothing but Mario rips and Mario-related jokes in other rips - a last hurrah for his life - all ending with Super 3D All-Stars Music S64 Game Over. Just like that, he was gone - faded from the video, faded from view. Yet few of us could've predicted just how dire things would get.

In SiIvaGunner lore, the term "Figment" refers to the personification a meme or joke on the channel takes, its characterized state - think Mr. Rental in Mr. Rental [B Side] ~ Out of Options or Inspector Gadget in Become as Gadget and throughout his two takeovers. When a figment based on a real human dies, it can easily be reborn - the human itself lives on in the real world, after all, and can recreate the essence of its Figment in a variety of ways. But when a purely fictional Figment dies...its erased from all history. As if it had never existed to begin with, all traces of it are wiped from memory, wiped from the very state of having ever existed. And under Nintendo's very own Gulliotine, this was the fate Super Mario himself succumbed to. As a result every single Super Mario-series rip uploaded in the channel's five-year run, be they Kart, Sports, Paper or just outright Super, was set to private on the SiIvaGunner channel. And as April 1st of 2021 went on, it seemed to be harder and harder to remember the name of that mustachioed man. Had someone like that...ever existed?

I'm certain a lot of what I'm writing here is familiar ground to many of you reading, but I really want to convey just how incredibly well-done this atmosphere was. Throughout April 1st, fifty-five rips were uploaded, many of which featuring games that seemed just...the slighest bit off. The opening to the classic Philips CD-i game "Hotel", where a lone Luigi talks to himself; The underwater music featured in the SNES Launch title "Super World" with a bizarrely-lopsided logo, and most prominently - games like Super M̸̌̊a̴͛̿█̸͌̑i̵̛͊█̷̾̓ 64, Super M̸̌̊a̴͛̿█̸͌̑i̵̛͊█̷̾̓ Sunshine and Super █̴̧̀a̵̤̐r̷̙̋█̶̰̆o̶͚̚ Galaxy, three games that were bound by a strange malfunction in their presentation, as if they're collectively...held back by something. Or someone.

Your Best Nightmario stood out as the centerpiece of it all, with a title yet more bizarrely mangled than the rest - Super 👉█̸͌̑█̷̾̓😁̶̆͠☼̷̇̃👈̸̂͑█̷̾̓█̾̓ 64. Two fingers, pointing toward a desperate smile. It's-a-me. The rip serves as an incredible multi-stage arrangement of Your Worst Nightmare from Undertale, the boss music for Flowey the Flower. Its already incredibly befitting on the surface level - Undertale is at once one of SiIva's most prominently-ripped games, and a game very much about the state of living game characters have, the idea of how characters in games can affect you in a way that makes them worth remembering for all time. And though the rip is initially in line with the instrumentation of the original Ultimate Koopa theme, it uses the segmented style-shifting sections of Your Worst Nightmare to arrange music from other Nintendo platforming games - the ones primarily bound by featuring characters like Luigi, Peach and Bowser within them, but ones where I can't really place my finger on who their protagonist is. As a result of all these styles and the fervent, desperate, downright nightmarish pace of the music, paired with the full-on galactic-scale orchestral sections near the rips end, it truly feels like a hopeless struggle, a plea from an unknown hero to stay alive, to not be forgotten, to not be lost to the sands of time.

The sheer atmosphere conveyed throughout the entire event was primarily carried through these rips, of course, but it cannot be understated just how much of a part the comments section played in it all. There was no confusion - the buildup had been done so well, the gag established so clearly, that EVERYONE was on board with the day's theming in the comments, and "playing along" with the story's theme. Everyone reminisced and had fond memories of all these games - New Super Bros., Luigi: Superstar Saga, Super 64 DS, and more - yet we were all collectively wondering why things felt so different from before. It was the most fun collective gaslighting I've ever been part of.

As the day came to an end, Mario's fate seemed to be set - the entirety of April 2nd was silent, except for one rip that confirmed that even our beloved Gangsta Mario (see Caramariodansen) was lost. Yet on April 3rd, we were all finally met with Bowser's Finale, a direct followup to Your Best Nightmario by its very same ripper. Blookerstein, the legend behind The expanse of meme in past was split, A fiendish trap has now been set; Behind a tree the villains sit, Terror of sport, the Robbie's Net., this time aided by Sarvéproductions of Goodbye To Love fame, created the absolute perfect way to round out the event - a return to the desperate battle that had once seemed lost, now with the music of Finale instead of Your Worst Nightmare to indicate the turning of the tides - that this legend, nay, SUPER MARIO, was not going to give up. This figment did not deserve to leave us - and Bowser's Finale was his last stand. The excitement in the air, in the comments section, was palpable.

Finale is already an incredible theme, and one that some of us even have some emotional attachment to in the context of SiIva - remember Aphex all the way back in Season 1? Bowser's Finale leverages those feelings, and the theming set up throughout the event as a whole, to incredible effect, with the same structure of going through the styles of various Mario music to rising dramatic effect. Super Mario 64, Super Mario Sunshine, Super Mario Galaxy - the first two using songs like Slider and A Secret Course that are beloved by so many SiIvaGunner viewers, the third hitting a emotional gutpunch in its orchestral instrumentation, and all three bound together as the games that started this whole thing, the games part of the 3D All-Stars collection. It is with no exaggeration a pitch-perfect rendition of this idea, better than anything I could've ever anticipated before the event began - once again only elevated through the sheer sense of community the entire comments section held through it all, cheering Mario on, collectively remembering his existence - fighting to bring this lost figment back to reality.

Y'know, I've been critical of Season 5 in the past - it is likely still the Season of the channel I was "least" invested in taken on the whole. That is in large part due to its lack of ties to the channel's ongoing lore, as it was focused primarily on self-contained events just like this one. But GOD, those events. I still see people online today who are less in touch with what SiIvaGunner does, who cite this event - "The Disappearance of Super Mario", as some call it - as the absolute peak of SiIvaGunner's output past the Season 1 finale. I wouldn't necessarily agree - but the event was undoubtedly unforgettable, at once an incredible execution of a long-anticipated bit, surprisingly emotionally gripping, whilst also being subtly tied to the very canon and theming of the SiIvaGunner channel itself. I chose to highlight Your Best Nightmario and Bowser's Finale in particular today, but I emplore you to go watch the entire event yourself through the fanmade YouTube playlists - if nothing else to see just how committed to the bit everyone involved truly was.

But don't forget: There's more to this tale yet to be retold.

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mattapparentlystumbltourneys · 6 months

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Virtual Character Tourney - Round 3 - Bracket 1 - 2

Propaganda below (May contain spoilers!)

Sage propaganda:

I just know she's a weirdgirl. I know it.

She's an AI who becomes more human over the course of the game. Plus she develops a father daughter relationship with Eggman that's really cute.

She's an AI created by Dr. Eggman, she has excellent control over Cyber Space, and gained command of the robots & guardians of Starfall Islands

Kasane propaganda:

HER DREAM WAS TO ONE DAY BECOME A REAL VOCALOID AMD SHE FINALLY DID IT!!!!!! ITS NOT A VOCALOID VOICE BANK BUT ITS A FULL SYNTH V VOICEBANK!!!!! AND A NEW DESIGN!!!!! SHE DID IT SHE GOT HER DREAMS!!!!!! YOURE NEVER TOO OLD TO ACCOMPLISH YOUR DREAMS!!!!!!!

Kasane Teto is a vocal synth, she started out as an april fools joke to parody VOCALOID, with her voice bank in UTAU. although she did start out as just a joke a lot of vocaloid fans grew to really love her and she became rather popular. Kasane Teto is to UTAU as Hatsune Miku is to VOCALOID. But recently on Kasane Teto's 15th anniversary, April 1st 2023, she got moved from UTAU to SynthV. With her voice bank now in SynthV she also got a new character deign alone with how her voice and her singing sounds much more clear and human like than her UTAU voice bank which sounded a lot more mechanical/robotic.

#virtual character tourney #round 3 #sage #sonic sage #sonic frontiers #kasane teto #utau #character polls

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bubbleddisasters · 12 days

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So I saw a cool ship edit with Jade and Che’nya, and that has given me the confidence to talk about my favorite crackship/Rare pair!

(This is pretty long, sorry!)

Che’nya and Idia!

It originally started out as a joke like “Over Powered Cat Boy x Cat Loving Gamer Boy”, but then I realized how actually good they could be for eachother.

Although they never technically talk in canon, they do meet in Glorious Masquerade for like 6 seconds, but I shipped them prior lol.

Basically, Che’nya would be extremely good for Idia in many ways, I hope its not a bother, but I’ll just list my personal ideas!

(Keep in mind that in Alice in Wonderland, Its stated in “Through the Looking Glass” the Cheshire Cat is the second most powerful being, next to the personification of Time, So I envision Che’nya is pretty op, and theres some evidence to prove that but i’m not going to get in to that right now)

Starting off from Idias side:

One: Lets say Idia refuses to eat or care for himself, Che’nya could teleport away his consoles until he does, or teleport the food to him.

Like : “You won’t shower? Gee I wonder where your routers went.” “Won’t sleep? I opened a portal on your gaming chair that teleports you to your bed” “Won’t drink water? Damn, that figurine near the edge of the table looking real pushable right now.”

We also know that Idia has a huge soft spot for cats. Che’nya is most definitely the most cat like person in the cast. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a cat form. So thats definitely some sway there.

Also, if he does or even if he doesn’t have a cat form, he has a big and floofy tail, and if he does have a cat form, I imagine it to be Mainecoon like (since Che’nya is pretty tall and lanky) so free floof to pet/brush when Idias stressed (also A Whisker Away AU?)

Another thing is Che’nyas invisibility: He can be a comfort for Idia without being seen, so Idias less judged for his anxiousness. Like if Idias in a stressful meeting or something in STYX, He can be there to comfort or calm him without anyones notice. Also, If Idias in a stressful social situation, Che’nya can teleport him or them both away, or make them or just him invisible.

Plus, judging from the most definitely self made artwork on Che’nyas pants, I think its safe to say he’s probably an artist of some sort, and I think he’d be more than willing to indulge/read/play/watch Idias recommendations, and maybe draw something for him. (The requirements are either cuddles or Solving Che’nyas riddles three)

Finally, judging by the fact Che’nya casually waltzes through NRCs magic barrier, which took SEVERAL HIGH TECH STYX STRIKES TO CRACK, often enough for Riddle to be able to say “The Intruder” and everyone just knows its Che’nya.

Also, RSA is THE ENTIRE ISLAND AWAY AND ON A GIANT FUCKING MOUNTAIN, so this means Che’nya is very casually teleporting across the equivalent of atleast a small country without producing jack shit in terms of blot, while (from what we can see on his design) not wearing a mage stone.

He’s also been detaching his own body parts, flying, going invisible, etc since age 5, and from Rollos story we know that amount of magic use would indefinitely kill 80% of people, especially a kid, so knowing that, I’m pretty sure its somewhat safe to say if Che’nya got into S.T.Y.X atleast once so he knows where it is, he’d be able to teleport back in and out (the security team fucking hates him and the blot research team wants to experiment on him.)

With that, Idia wouldn’t feel as if he’s trapping Che’nya down there if they were to tie the knot, and gives the possibility of being able to teleport out to shore for in town dates.

On Che’nyas side, Idia is someone who’s very fun once he sort of lets himself go, and god forbid if those two team up on April Fools.

He’s also someone that is already pretty lonely by nature and I find it extremely plausible Che’nya feels slightly replaced by Cater, and although he definitely still cherishes Riddle and Trey, its nice to have someone that you don’t fear might find a replacement.

Also, at RSA, we know he’s good friends with Neige, but because of Neiges fame, that must be hella stressful when you’re trying to hang out and get jumped by fans or paparazzi.

Not to mention Neige is likely very very busy due to the same factor. I’d also wager most people at RSA are not as much fun to him, considering it’s mentioned they always seem to be perfect and pristine at events.

That cycle of semi- perfect paradise like school days would probably bore him, along with the very bland or stereotypical reactions I can imagine his pranks getting.

So we have on one side the stress of being friends with someone in the limelight at all times, and the stress being chased around when you go to visit your childhood friends + being lowkey replaced.

So someone you can pretty much always count on to be available and a dorm that won’t chase you out (probably too anti-social and/or Socially anxious to do so) and is somewhat willing to indulge in your chaos from time to time, or just play games with.

I could also see Che’nya and Ortho getting along very well too, with Ortho being the most aggressive wingman for Idia. Also, if Che’nya gets Ortho in on pranking Idia, it’s going to turn into a prank WAR.

Also, fun idea, Lilia, Cater and Trey being Che’nyas Wingmen.

I like to imagine Che’nya and Lilia are extremely good friends (They call themselves the Pink Bats and Purple Cats Jumpscarers) and since from what we know, Che’nya only has his grandfather, Lilia emotionally adopted him after Che’nya unintentionally fell asleep in his Cat form in the woods and Lilia told Silver to bring him back because “he was concerned about the high magic levels he sensed” and basically did the equivalent of

—-

Silver: “Father, It might not be a stray-“

Lilia, fully aware its a fae beastman : “Finders Keepers :) “

——

Basically this snowballs into Che’nya getting invited into the dungeon runs with Idia, and yea.

Trey’s wingmanning is 40% trying to make sure Riddle doesn’t catch Che’nya, 20% trying to make sure he doesn’t blow up the kitchen trying to make something for Idia, and 40% being the sane consultant of date ideas, making sure Cater doesn’t go overboard with ship posts, and the preventive measurer to the date ideas recommended by Lilia.

——

“Please do not have a sword duel for a date.”

“Nya? I’d be fun!”

“I don’t see why not. I did that with my lovers back in the day. Melanor in her training uniform was quite a sight to behold, Ravaene also looked fine, I suppose. Poor him was always too easy for us to take out however-“

“Lilia, thats uh, not the point. I don’t trust either of them with weapons.”

“Hm? Silver got his first sword when he was 10 or so. Baul and I refereed Sebek and Silvers first real duel when they were…12, methinks? For all Bauls bragging about his grandson, it was my son who won in the end-“

*Camera pans to a very concerned Riddle in the doorway.*

“What kind of a discussion is going on here?!”

—-

Yea, thats pretty much it!

(If you recognize some of the beginning spiel from a comment section on tiktok yes I wrote that and I got mildly lazy and thought past me explained it pretty well so I copy and pasted a few pieces)

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nightwanderers12081 · 10 months

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hi im back again with more aus

so a little while ago i was talking to a friend about a streamer au(can be both secret trio or just danny phantom) and wanted to share a bit about it here lmao

Danny became a streamer, and gained a small audience outside of amity park(he doesn't have many Amity park viewers, he does not want them), I imagine his online name is Phantom(bc ofc it is), but people know his real name is danny and will switch off which name they use

Because few people from amity park watch him, He will just appear as phantom sometimes(He went live once as phantom on accident and just rolled with it), and told people it was just a cosplay/outfit he liked wearin

He does gaming streams bc were biased(/j)

Us and my friends made jokes about how he has the thermos on his desk while he streams so his fans(who absolutely adopted the name phans and have a phandom) make jokes that the thermos is his mascot, Danny is on board with this and every april fools he changes all of his accounts to the thermos

My friend says he has a cutout of something(dont know what just that its super random), and new people would be like "why do you have a cutout of ___ in the background" and older fans would be like "we dont question it"

We have fun ideas planned for people finding out about Danny phantom in amity park, also alot of fun ideas with incorporating the other two from the secret trio(bc lets be so fr Randy would 100% thrive as a streamer/musician, he is like the wilber soot of this world(/j /nsrs, me and our friends joke about this alot tho lmao)

if yall are interested we'll answer any questions you guys have on the au n just talk about it more ~ Whisper/Ender

#danny phantom #dp #danny phantom au #streamer au #secret trio #adjl #american dragon jake long #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #rc9gn #this au lives in my head rent free #where are all the dp streamer aus at

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friendsim2 · 1 month

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just finished around 2/3 of volume 12, i love so much the entire dreamscape / real world mechanic and lore-wise, love the way purplebloods and their history is represented and currently romancing Lynera. i'm in love with this volume so far thank you all so much (and whoever had the idea of making TechniColor Heart an actual thing, i'd hug u)

That was me (game's director/lead writer here) - TechniColor Heart was actually in production for a few months. The April Fool's joke trailer was just a fake-out using footage from the actual game (within a game) - it's original inception goes back to the "we'll put sex in the game" meme we did on Twitter.

So I basically spent 3 months writing, coding, and doing UI design to put that in there. The assets are a combination of Friendsim 2 assets and backgrounds I did and sprites that Riotbreaker did for another game (it was cancelled in its original form and another studio may or may not be continuing it at some point, but without the original assets). I'm a big fan of committing to the bit - to the point where every one of the "hahaha wouldn't it be funny if we put this in the game?" jokes has not, in fact, been a joke.

Originally there was gonna be a shorter and less interesting dream sequence in that bit there that had a Tyzias/Tagora trial sequence (we actually had that sequence completely done with recorded dialogue) as well as some small walk-around segments using existing assets.

There were also a couple cut mini-games from Volume 12 - a sliding tile puzzle and a "light up the lights" type puzzle, neither of which was very fun - so those got replaced with Tetris and Fire Fling, respectively. (if you talk to Mallek about his GameDude console in the TechniColor Heart segment, you can actually play Gameboy versions of those games to practice them)

Overall, Volume 12 has probably been our most involved volume. One of the things I wanted to get right going into this game was how the purple bloods are portrayed, because there's a lot of baggage associated with how they're shown in canon, and I wanted to approach the whole thing thoughtfully and make it an impactful experience.

I cannot stress enough how important the contribution of the route's primary writer, Miranda Holliday, was to the experience of that route. They laid down the framework (and wrote most of the first half of the route) for a lot of the themes and how they tie into real-world issues of ethnicity, race, and culture. I picked up what they put down and then they went back over what I'd written in the second half to tighten up some of the language and provide feedback on the way the themes were developed.

Also, the route's sprite designer, Cole, was instrumental in fleshing out the character designs and giving them a unique character. Riotbreaker ended up doing the finished sprite sets off the original designs, and she did an awesome job of following Cole's reference designs.

Also, unique among the routes, we had the stark contrast between the dreamscape backgrounds (done by Dave Fowler) and the real-world backgrounds (done by Herk Lapaduza, who's done work on a couple other volumes both released and unreleased!). The dreamscape in particular was very much an exercise in "have fun with it!" to the artist, and the result was a delightfully surreal experience to contrast with the much more grounded style of the other backgrounds.

Lastly, our VAs for this route really helped sell their characters' unique personalities. Valentine was my choice to play Marvus from before we even started this game (there's an interesting story there - before FS2 was a thing I was going to do a fan dub of my Delightful Abattoir Hiveswap novel, so some of the voice cast comes from that!), and Miranda, Jason and Vyn did an amazing job with Akhnai, Barzum/Baizli, and Chahut.

#friendsim #friendsim 2 #homestuck #hiveswap #hiveswap friendsim #fan game #friendsim2 #fan project #fansim

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maskedemerald · 2 months

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April Fools Reverse Write Game!

I said I'd do it...

What's this? A writing game thing? YES!

Rules: Write a scene from your WIP or in your WIPs setting where the character's roles are reversed! Make it as short or as long as you like! Then tag some people! Don't forget to tell us a little about the original roles too!

So I'm doing this for my WIP Magic Act a YA Romance with horror aspects. In the WIP Magician is a human that has fallen into the fae realm while being chased by something fae that definitely wants him dead or at least captured. Night on the other hand is meant to be Magician's fae ally that he isn't sure if he can trust. Thus the slow burn commences.

But what if Magician was the Fae settled and comfortable in the Fae realm and Night was the goth human out of their depth and trying to survive.

A Reversed Meeting

Night

The door I fell against gave way unexpectedly and I stumbled from the chaotic twisting alley into the warmth of the darkened building. Behind me it closed far more softly than the heavy emergency exit door should. I breathed a relieved sigh, maybe that would mean I was safe. That they hadn't seen the door in motion.

I staggered to my feet and felt my way through the dark. Stumbling on step after step, stairs that should be even and short were wide and erratic. One step would be barely a step down and then the next had me falling forward as my balance tipped. The floor gave under the impact as if it were made of foam.

I moved sideways to avoid more of the stairs and found instead cushioned seats. Plush and comfortable. They reminded me of the armchair at my grandfather's, sitting in it was like a hug. They were tempting. In the dark no one would see and I hadn't heard even a footstep of the one chasing me. A moments rest, well more like several. As many as I could get before someone else showed up. It was risky but I couldn't not take the chance while I could get it.

The seat sunk around me, its arms comfortable. I lifted a hand to settle myself only to find my hand didn't lift. I pulled harder. The soft fabric sticking like glue. It didn't feel cold or tacky but when it gave I could feel it peel away from my skin. It wasn't just my hand. Every bit of contact was another sticking point. Worse to free one thing almost always required the force of putting some other part of me against it. A spiral of struggling against it. Meanwhile the softness called. I tried to resist but it was like it was in my head. Like a siren's call. Blinks became heavy and every close of my eyes was longer than the last.

Magician

The stage came to life with a step of a foot. Curtains twisting and twirling away as I walked out to the center. A tip of a hat and sparks flew. I scowled a little at the over enthusiasm of the stage. The stage shouldn't upstage. Magic, real magic was flashy but simple. You wanted and you had. The human kind of magic was deception at its core. Making others believe you had done something you had not. Honestly I didn't understand why more didn't take a liking to it. With a bit of practice it would thread into my deals and then maybe I would stand a chance talking circles around Champion. Even their title had me scowling, stuck up self aggrandizer.

As I practiced to the empty audience my eyes drew to a certain seat. A not so empty seat in a not so empty audience. I flicked the card around my wrist and up a sleeve. It would be cheating to have it appear somewhere impossible but there was a temptation. A temptation to combine the trickery with the expected magic.

My audience slept, the theatre having taken a liking. Maybe it intended to give me a captive audience to practice my tricks. Though my audience wasn't fae. They could have passed for it in some ways. In others not so much. The decorative dark make up had run and smudged. Their blue black hair long and bedraggled. Their clothes black with many buckles and spikes but they lacked shoes. Instead just mud caked socks.

I was curious. How had they got there? Was someone looking for them? What had they been through? Did they have a story to tell? I kept practicing, however the thoughts kept twirling. If no one was looking, then they could still be lost. They looked it. The state they were in. They would surely want to go back. They would want to go back and there was something that I wanted too.

I wove through the chairs, stepping across their backs until I was leaning over the sleeping human. The seat holding them tight. The theatre had its spot light upon me.

Night

"Is this your card?" The lilted voice echoed.

The world flickered in and out as I awkwardly blinked my eyes open, fighting off the sleepy exhaustion and wincing at the way the fabric tugged. I couldn't move. The light led my eyes to the figure leaning over me. A hand stretched out holding a playing card. That was the only normal thing. He had so many hands. Mechanical and puppet like behind him. He sparkled like he was covered in glitter. His face was split in a grin. He was one of them, one of the creatures that had chased me. I tried to pull away. There was no chance. There was no where to run even if I could get free.

"Would you like a hand?" The fae asked holding out another free hand.

"No… I would like my hands and no one else's thank you," I finished quickly fearing I might loose my hands if I didn't clarify.

The fae grinned widely, "smart, but I did not mean it that way. Do you want out of the chair?"

"What's in it for you?"

The fae sighed, "does there have to be?"

"Yes."

"Fine then, I get you out of the chair and you tell me how you got here," he said holding out a hand for me to take again.

"That's all?" I asked warily.

"Colour me curious, and while I have other things I want, they do require you to be out of the chair. Negotiations can come later."

After Thoughts

Oh no, yep this is happening. I'm going to write more of this alternate version as bonus stuff for the main story in the same way I'm writing some of the main story scenes from Night's point of view. Also I think I want to develop this theatre setting and maybe make use of it in the main story. I couldn't get Night to sound as formal as they normally are but that trait really comes from them being raise fae and having to talk round others so I can live without it.

Got another one coming probably tomorrow for my other WIP. Making this a bit of a tag game rather than just an April Fools thing so feel free to post your Reverse Write Game writing whenever you want!

Gently tagging with the completely optional tag: @squarebracket-trickster, @unclear-contributions, @moonluringfrost. @moonfeatherblue, @cat-esper, @thebearthatreads, @amaiguri, @the-down-upside-finch

No pressure, only do it if you want!

Also fully open tag so if anyone sees this and fancies giving it a go then do it, but please tag me because I want to read them! (You will get comments even if it is just me keyboard smashing in enthusiasm!)

#reverse write game #writeblr community #writing #writeblr #amwriting #magic act novel #creative writing #tag game

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wheels-of-despair · 1 year

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Revenge of the Freaks Summary: The Hellfire Club does April Fool's Day a little differently. Contains: Sweet revenge, don't try this at home. Words: 1k-ish Note: Part of my Evil Woman universe, but more of a Hellfire story than an explicit Eddie pairing. Can be read as a standalone.

Everybody expects to get pranked on April Fool's Day.

Everyone, everywhere, is suspicious of everything. Especially at Hawkins High. Even the cafeteria ladies get side-eyed when students pick up their trays, wondering if there's a little something extra in their pudding today. No one touches the salt and pepper shakers. No one accepts any gifts. Don't even bother trying to share your food. Check the toilet for plastic wrap before you use it. Beware the sink. For 24 hours, everyone is on high alert.

Because everyone is expecting to get pranked on April 1st.

They are not, however, expecting to get pranked on April 2nd.

As your April Fool's Day prank for the Hellfire table, you brought in cookies.

Not toothpaste Oreos. Those are a waste of both toothpaste and cookies. (Although nobody would've complained about being the designated Eater of the Creme Filling.)

Your April Fool's Day Cookies contained M&M's, Reese's Pieces, and Skittles. It counted as a prank because nobody was sure exactly what they were biting into, other than a circle of butter and sugar. But they were actually quite good. You passed them around, and you all shared a laugh and a few cookies. In case anyone was watching.

On April 2nd, when everyone let their guards down and thought they were safe again, Hellfire would strike.

People would suspect Eddie. Eddie was loud and lively and definitely stood out. The rest of you? Unless someone was looking for a punching bag, you all seemed to sort of fade into the background.

You'd be using this to your advantage.

You'd been plotting for months, and finally had a game plan in place.

For Jackie, who asked out Gareth on a dare and burst out laughing when he stuttered through his nervous response, a locker full of dead ladybugs. You'd found a pile of them in the attic and didn't want them to go to waste, so you swept them into a plastic bag and kept them for a special occasion. Showing her what a lady looked like seemed like a good one.

For Chip and his fancy new car, which he nearly ran over Jeff with while revving obnoxiously and laughing with his friends, a piece of bologna on the hood. It would fry in the sun during the school day and leave a marvelously discolored circle there, until his daddy paid to get it fixed. Until then, someone might throw out the phrase "asshole-mobile" a few times and hope it stuck.

For Brandon, who drew unflattering caricatures of Grant on the blackboard in first period every day for a week before he lost interest, a mouse trap would find its way into his backpack. A thoughtful gift for his creative hands. No idea how it got there.

For Troy, who successfully tripped Mike into Lucas one day and attempted to stuff Dustin into a locker the next, tiny bits of chocolate would appear on his chair. (The smaller the pieces, the faster they melt.) The boys had told you about a similar kind of incident with Troy in middle school, and you didn't want to ruin his reputation.

For Ashley, who took credit for spreading the rumor that you were spreading your legs for all of the freaks in town, a very professional-looking letter from the Hawkins Free Clinic would arrive at her house to inform her that she had a venereal disease. Several pamphlets on safe sex were included.

For Mrs. O'Donnell, whose hatred of Eddie seemed to intensify by the day, a loose screw on her desk chair. It would be a real shame if she were to fall on her ass so hard, it broke the stick that had been up it since 1962.

For Jason, who was generally unpleasant to you all, tiny balloons that appeared to be haunting him. Everywhere he went, a tiny balloon or two would appear on the ground nearby. This puzzled everyone, until somebody loudly suggested that he had to use those because regular condoms were too big for him. Wonder who that could have been.

And for the rest of the basketball team, something special to show your appreciation for the way they ruled both the court and the school. Let's go, Tigers.

A few weeks ago, you and Eddie had taken a little trip to a pharmacy two towns over and bought the cheapest, worst-smelling perfume you could find. It was the kind of perfume that an old lady in a fake fur coat might wear to Bingo on Wednesday nights at the VFW. The kind of smell that made you wish the stench of moth balls in her clothes was a little stronger, to help overpower it.

The Hawkins High gym lockers are more open than the lockers in the hallway. Instead of the standard slats on the top and bottom, there's a wire grate to allow for better airflow. Nobody likes a pile of sweaty teenage gym clothes. Just a few pumps of spray into the grate would have their letterman jackets smelling so bad, it was like a warning system. A Jock Alarm, if you will. You'd always be able to smell them coming, because that stuff wasn't ever going to come out.

Eddie spent all of his free time that day in the library, on his best behavior, under the watchful eye of the stern librarian. He was a good boy, just trying to work quietly on his English essay so he could graduate. She would attest to this, if asked, because he gave her a dandelion when he came in and smiled at her every time he got up to sharpen his pencil near her desk.

The recipients of your little gifts may have had their suspicions, but they couldn't prove a thing. No one paid attention to the nameless, faceless freaks of Hawkins High. No one batted an eye when a two-minute trip to the bathroom actually took eight. Or when an unfamiliar face passed through a hallway it had no classes in. Or when someone changed their shirt between periods because it suddenly smelled like an old lady.

After all, why would anyone want to prank people on April 2nd?

#writings of despair #i have no idea what to tag this as #'cause it's not really a whole lot of eddie #hellfire club #i guess?#eh whatever #i just wrote it 'cause i wanted to do something for april fool's day #you fuckers will pay for your imagined crimes #i am not to be truffled with

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 2 months

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Michael After Midnight: "Sir Psycho Sexy" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

youtube

For April Fool’s 2024, I decided to do a bit inspired by Todd in the Shadows called Ford Analyzes Tunes And Song Stuff, or FATASS for short (a little nod to how Todd’s moniker can be shortened to TITS). Basically people would send me a song, and I would give some wacky analysis or review of the song that was probably the opposite of my actual, genuine opinion. For example, for Nickleback’s “Photoraph,” I claimed the entire song was actually a bittersweet gay romance. It was a fun exercise in crafting absurdity from even the most mundane or stupid lyrics. But it did leave me wanting to review a song for real… and what better than one of my favorite songs of all time?

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are a band that need no introduction, but I’ll do it in case some of you out there don’t listen to good music and/or hate California: RHCP is a funk/alternative rock band formed in 1982, though they didn’t really cement their status as one of the best bands around until their release of the alt rock classic Blood Sugar Sex Magik in 1991, an album that produced the personal and powerful “Under the Bridge,” the hard rocking “Suck My Kiss,” and the all-time banger “Give It Away.” It’s a fantastic album, one of the most influential of its time, and many regard it as RHCP’s best work—including the band’s bassist, Flea. I’m certainly inclined to agree; it’s a nice middle ground between their heavily funk-influenced early work and their later more radio-friendly rock tunes. Don’t get the wrong idea here—they were, and still are, a very good band—but I think in my opinion the 90s were the decade where they really stood out from the crowd as trailblazers in the rock scene.

With that out of the way, it’s time to single out my absolute favorite song on the album to talk about: An eight minute long track titled “Sir Psycho Sexy.” With a title like that and an impressive length to match, you know you’re in for something bonkers, and I’d say the song delivers in spades; it’s a funky rap rock epic that is hornier than almost any song before or since. The rizz the titular Sir Psycho Sexy of the song displays is beyond that of any mortal man, and it is simply glorious. This song is also a song that inspired one of my Ocs—Flynn Dangerfield from the Rhine City series my wife and I are working on. If you’re unfamiliar with the character (and you shouldn’t be, the rough drafts for the story are pinned at the top of my blog), this is like if Alex Hirsch said Dipper and Mable were actually inspired by Flowers in the Attic.

If you don’t believe me, then read on as I riff on one of my favorite songs and showcase the brilliant lyrical insanity of a 90s rock band that was likely high as a kite while writing this. Also, this is your warning: These lyrics are insanely NSFW. This isn’t nearly as bad as the last song I riffed on, “Pregnant Pussy,” but it’s up there. You’ve been warned.

So this song is sort of a story, and every story has a main character. And what a character we have here; Sir Psycho Sexy is his name, and getting pussy is his game. How does one introduce such a man?

A long, long, long, long time ago Before the wind, before the snow Lived a man, lived a man I know Lived a freak of nature named Sir Psycho

Not a bad way to start things. Lead singer Anthony Kiedis really sets up Sir Psycho as some ancient, powerful force of nature, a being who has existed as long as there were babes to fuck and who is so eternal he was there before wind or snow. Mind you, this is before we get into all of his insane sexual feats and astounding prowess with the ladies, so we have the coolest guy in the universe right here. Let’s see what else there is to say about him:

Sir Psycho Sexy that is me Sometimes I find I need to scream

Oh. Ok then. So Anthony Kiedis is Sir Psycho Sexy. This is either self-insert Mary Sue fanfiction, or it’s an autobiographical tale describing things that actually happened. Let’s be super duper charitable and call it the latter. At any rate, the fact he just likes to scream sometimes is universally relatable.

Still, you may not be convinced how good the song is from this opener, as it can come off as blatant wish fulfillment fantasy. Thankfully, the second verse opens with the greatest lyrics ever written by a human hand:

Deep inside the garden of Eden Standing there with my hard on bleedin' There's a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen Good God no that would be treason

This is absolutely blasphemous, disgusting, degenerate, explicit, and one of the funniest fucking set of lyrics to ever be in a song. “There’s a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen” is not a phrase you hear every day, and it certainly won’t leave your head after you hear it. And don’t worry; things only get better from here!

Believe me Eve she gave good reason Booty looking too good not to be squeezin' Creamy beaver hotter than a fever I'm a givin' 'cause she's the receiver I won't and I don't hang up until I please her Makin' her feel like an over achiever I take it away for a minute just to tease her Then I give it back a little bit deeper

So I don’t know what could be expected, but Sir Psycho plowing the Biblical Eve is probably not the sort of thing you could imagine when first popping in to listen to this song. When you take into account his ancient nature from the first verse and the fact he’s got his boner dripping blood in Eden in the first few lines of verse two, this is really the only logical next step though. The real question here is, is Sir Psycho supposed to be Adam, or has Sir Psycho tied up Adam to watch as he busts in Eve more times than should be humanly possible? If he’s “Makin’ her feel like an over achiever,” I’ve gotta imagine he’s not stopping after round one, two, or even three. I do like the detail that Sir Psycho won’t give up until he pleases her; it’s very cool and considerate that he cares enough about his lover to ensure her satisfaction too.

I got stopped by a lady cop In my automobile She said get out and spead your legs And then she tried to cop a feel

Verse three begins with an extremely sad case of police brutality and sexual assault. Poor Sir Psycho was just driving along, minding his own business, when he’s pulled over for no crime whatsoever; the cop just wanted to fondle him. These lyrics really say a lot about our society, and the state of the police force in America when even gorgeous immortal studs aren’t safe from the pigs.

That cop she was all dressed in blue Was she pretty? Boy I'm tellin' you She stuck my butt with her big black stick I said, "What's up?" now suck my dick

Some interesting tidbits of information here: Sir Psycho enjoys being pegged, and he has a death wish. What kind of absolute madman says that to a cop that has them at his mercy? Does he really think he can turn the tab--

Like a ram getting ready to jam the lamb She whimpered just a little when she felt my hand On her crotch so very warm I could feel her getting wet through her uniform Proppin' her up on the black and white Unzipped and slipped, "Ooh, that's tight" I swatted her like no swat team can Turned a cherry pie right into jam

Are we sure this man is Anthony Kiedis and not British Prime Minister David Cameron? Cuz he sure does like fucking pigs! Sir Psycho, with his ancient pornomancy powers, takes “fuck the police” to a whole new level, completely turning around whatever situation he’d gotten himself into.

And now we get a shift in the instrumentation, and the lyrics kind of mellow out and almost feel a little romantic(at least in a 90s funk rock way):

Hello young woman that I love Pretty punk rock mama that I'm thinking of Hold me naked if you will In your arms in your legs in your pussy I'd kill To be with you, to kiss with you, I do miss you I love you Lay me down, lay me down, lay me down, lay me down Lay me down, lay me down, lay me down, lay me down Descending waves of graceful pleasure For your love there is no measure Her curves they bend with subtle splendor

This part genuinely feels so tender and, while it is extremely horny, Sir Psycho seems especially reverent of this woman, this amazing “punk rock mama.” I kind of think this segment pulls the entire song together, giving us a brief respite from the more overt sexuality and into something that genuinely sounds sweet, albeit in a decidedly horny sort of way.

Of course, we soon get back to Sir Psycho’s usual escapades in the final verse:

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the funk will make me freak If I should die before I waked Allow me Lord to rock out naked

And after this, we get kinky before wrapping up this song and heading to an extended instrumental outro:

Bored by the ordinary time to take a trip Calling up a little girl with a bull whip Lickety split go snap, snap Girl gettin' off all in my lap The tallest tree the sweetest sap Blowin' my ass right off the map Ooh and it's nice out here I think I'll stay for a while

So full disclosure, this really, genuinely is one of my favorite songs of all time, and perhaps my favorite RHCP song. It’s so audacious, in-your-face, and unabashedly horny, and in a day and age when people seem hellbent on removing sex from art, it’s nice to go back to a simpler, sluttier time and jam out. Is the length a bit excessive? Sure, probably, but length like this is all Sir Psycho is capable of.

The song is honestly not too dissimilar from the last song I reviewed, “Pregnant Pussy” by UGK… at least in terms of audacity. Where that song was trying to be as disgusting and depraved as possible to get a reaction from the listener, essentially being the nastiest troll song you’ll ever here, this song is just very upfront with its sheer horniness. It only barely eases you in, with the opening leading right into blasphemous boasting and dick blood, and it just never stops. It slows down a bit in a couple parts, but overall it really is just an unrelenting force. The song’s length isn’t something you ever really feel, because it just goes from one dirty lyric to the next.

But I think the most important thing the song does is remind us we all have a little Sir Psycho Sexy inside us, and we all have been standing the garden of Eden with our hard on’s bleeding while there were devils in our dick and demons in our semen. Maybe the real dick devils were the friends we made along the way.

#Youtube #michael after midnight #review #song review #red hot chili peppers #RHCP #sir psycho sexy #music

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