#its just weird that ive been focusing on tattoos

[mytalkingraccoon]

ive been hyperfixing on tattoos lately and its been exhausting. im doing way better now but jesus christ was that a whole trip

#it got to the point i was full-on disassociating i think #and ithat happened for three days straight until i snapped out of it #im so happy to be able to focus on other things now #its just weird that ive been focusing on tattoos #when i have no interest in getting one or becoming a tattoo artist #i do kind of want a tattoo gun so i can make some art in my sketchbook #but thats about it #the greatest feeling in the world will always be waking up and realizing im finally freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee #tattoo #tattoos #do yall have hyperfixations like this?

[memecucker]

idk if you've already talked about this but what do you think of the idea of cultural appropriation when it comes to closed practices? like when white people wanna wear war bonnets or claim they're doing voodoo

So the issue here isn’t “cultural appropriation” as people use the term but rather respect of particular practices. For example war bonnets have been given to non-Natives as formal gifts from, during WW2 the Indian Confederation of America voted to gift war bonnets to Joseh Stalin as well as Dwight Eisenhower and Douglas Macarthur. The NY Times article in particular is interesting because it talks about how it was a Mohawk war bonnet that was in the possession of a Mohawk chief named Fallen Trees and that it was originally planned to be given to Major Gen. Alexander Repin who was in charge of the Soviet military mission to the US and it was felt that since obviously Stalin couldn’t accept it in person another man who was himself a war leader could accept in his place. However Repin had to abruptly return to the Soviet Union and the Indian Confederation of America did not wish to hand it off to a subordinate officer because only another leader of warriors should accept in in place of the ultimate recipient so instead they modified the ceremony and handed it to the civilian Edward Carter of the Russian War Relief charity group and presented not as Carter “accepting” it but rather being tasked with the role of a “messenger” who would deliver it to Stalin (rather than if Repin was still in the US in which case he’d accept for Stalin in abstenstia with a ceremony looking more like the ones for American generals rather than a more low-key handoff). The reason I focused on that for a bit is that it shows how the ICA wasn’t just some random group that handed out war bonnets to random famous people as favors but was an organization of native people that took these cultural traditions very seriously and specifically the act of gifting it to an outsider was part of it and came with its own set of rules.

If your intent is to be respectful of other cultural practices then this involves understanding the rules, not making up and blankety applying them which is what contemporary CA discourse does. My issue with the way “closed cultural practice” (and especially “closed culture”) is often used is that it’s assumed it’s only a “do not touch” sign like in a museum when in fact there are particular rules and traditions and oftentimes competing ones. So in the above example the war bonnets were given to non-natives but after a process of deliberation and decision by a group representing various tribes from the northeast. This is important because CA discourse has a habit of focusing on the what’s styled as the “transgressors” and I remember weird articles with titles like “How To Know If Your Comitting Cultural Appropriation” which tends to focus on the “intent” of the (implicitly white) reader rather than understanding the particular rules that go into a culture because it puts all the “rules” on the outsider and doesn’t emphasize that if your intent is to respect traditional customs then you learn what the traditional rules for the custom in question is (thus you get kimono and henna discourse which have never had any kind of rule about outsider wearing but people wanna distract you from that).

Another example i often use for this sorta question is Whang-od of the Butbut tribe of the Kalinga people and the last surviving master of traditional indigenous Kalinga tattooing. Traditionally the tattoos have been reserved for members of the same tribe (not simply “reserved for other Kalinga” as ive seen some people say, or even worse “reserved for other Filipinos”). The reason for this closed practice wasn’t “just because” but because of the particular meanings conveyed by the tattoos. Tattoos whose art designs are intended to represent ones ancestry in the tribe don’t make sense for outsiders to have because designs signify lines of ancestry within the tribe so if you aren’t descended from the tattoo artists tribe those don’t make sense to have. A large eagle tattoo was among most prestigious tattoos only to be given a brave warrior of the tribe who killed and decapitated an enemy and Whang-od not only doesn’t do that for outsiders but no one because she believes the design is reserved specifically for warriors who either participated in or defended the tribe from head-hunting raids rather than a general idea of a brave soldier but the traditional Kalinga practice of headhunting ended decades ago (IIRC the last confirmed headhuntting raid was in the 1970s) and thus the meaning the tattoo conveys has fallen into disuse and thus it is no longer to be given. However Whang-od did open up other designs to people not of the Butbut tribe if they’re willing to make the long difficult trek to her village and undergo the long and painful process of traditional tattooing. The designs she uses with outsiders aren’t things that relate to being a member of her tribe but rather other designs that convey a magical meaning. So for example a tattoo that’s meant the bless the bearer with fertility/virility or to ward off evil spirits.

So are these “closed” or “open” practices? I think that’s a bad framework to approach the issue from the outset. It tries to encourage respect but without encouraging learning first.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

this DLC has me FUCKED UP and i keep screaming

spoilers for Bounty of Blood under the cut, keep reading at ur own peril. Also some Guardian Takedown spoilers for anyone who hasn’t beat it yet

tl;dr: a comparison between something taken from BL2 and a thing taken from Bounty of Blood. more spoilery tl;dr below the cut.

also the siren thing is not spoilers so i’ll share it here for anyone curious, it’s just this: siren tattoos are blue but when lily absorbs eridium in 2, they turn pinkish/purple. just like how vaults do from bl1 to bl2. they’re white/blue in bl1, then purple-pink in bl2 (and tps), y’know, after Eridium begins erupting from the ground. just a neat little detail i noticed that im not entirely sure was intentional but im gonna believe it is.

tl;dr: Gythian Blood = Core and the Ruiner is of Eridian Origin even tho everyone in the DLC likes to say it was created with Jakobs’ bioengineering. disclaimer: idk if I’ve found every hidden ECHO so I may be missing a few things but I have done every side quest and took ample screenshots of all important dialogue in the DLC : )

“man i just sat here for like 15 minutes staring at my keyboard mentally comparing core and eridium like the dumb bitch i am. 

it's not like we can do an actual comparison because we have no idea what the natural fauna of gehenna was like before jakobs came and mutated everything with core unlike pandora where we know what skags and rakk and shit were like BEFORE the eridium crust erupted. 

altho!!! there's a neat comparison between joey ultraviolet and rose. like obviously he wasn't getting tattoos and was just doing lines of crushed up eridium but the point stands they both have glowy eyes and unique powers so i don't necessarily think this means rose is a siren just because she has magic powers especially when we know she got the whistling passed down to her from her grandmother. 

especially because we've never seen a siren interact with core before. altho that leaves the question we have seen core tattoos now what are eridium tattoos like? actually rose's tattoos were on her right arm obviously she isn't a siren as we know them right now (I saw a post on reddit where people thought rose was a siren) 

of course that brings up the point perhaps siren tattoos ARE eridium tattoos. but then we hear the general's log about how the devil riders were tattooing a man with core and blood so obviously they're not ‘naturally’ occurring unlike siren tattoos. so odds are they're probably not equivalents but something interesting i thought of while thinking about this is how well siren tattoos compare to the Vaults from borderlands 1 and borderlands 2″

anyway. this is all ive been thinking about. yes yes i know guardian takedown post but! >:( im still salty even tho this update has been lovely (outside of Blane not getting his correct damage scaling ‘till today......). so i’ll do that at my own damn pace. now let me elaborate so i can sleep at night lmao

Eridium

refinement produces slag, which weakens people and can mutate things

has mutating properties, mostly with imbuing elements into shit- possibly causes insanity

seems to be connected to another dimension, likely the one the Eridians are from

Core

has a secondary form of Infused Core

has mutating properties, mostly regarding a thing’s body and mind

apparently radioactive

there are some things i wanna note

1) People throughout the DLC say the Ruiner was created by the Jakobs corp (the company) thru bio-engineering but I’m 99% sure that’s not true. The paperwork seems to me like they found the egg somewhere on Gehenna and decided to roll and experiment with it like all corporations do when they find weird alien shit. so maybe they experimented with whatever was inside the egg, but I don’t think they actually created it entirely

“Excavated from [REDACTED] ... Local legends speaks of a [REDACTED]. This theory is not endorsed by our research personnel.

2) The Ruiner’s design reminds me a lot of the Warrior.

3) Core immediately reminded me of Gythian Blood from Guns Love and Tentacles and I don’t think that’s coincidence to have 2 back-to-back DLCs where the big bad is focused on green death juice. I think Gythian Blood and Core are of the same stuffs.

4) Therefore, I think the Ruiner is (mostly) of Eridian origin (if you haven’t already guessed). 

This gives us an amazing look into how the Eridians actually create their beasts!!! And I’m so happy they showed us this.

(side note, Interitus Regina (the long name for Ruiner) literally means Destruction Queen and I think that’s beautiful <3)

i mean the idea that they plunge them from orbit to create an explosion similar to a nuke is fucking horrifying (but holy shit I love it so much ahhh it’s so cool!!!!)

the one side line from Oletta about how the company couldn’t control the Ruiner deffo makes me double down on this theory. I’m not entirely sure how Rose’s grandma knew about the whistling (I don’t think I’ve found every echo log in that area YET), but I would bet it was part of the testing given how many fuckin’ tape players they have throughout the facility. The Warrior was controlled by verbal commands via Jack, so it’s possible that the Ruiner was intended to be controlled similarly, but Jakobs intervention (or something like the way Rose hatched it) fucked it up.

now we know the Warrior was created to protect the Vault of the Destroyer (hmm.) so what the heck was the Ruiner created for? Ruiner is a name given to it by Jakobs/the people of Gehenna so we can’t really assume, but then again the monster names are pretty apt in this series even tho they probably technically shouldn’t be. 

it was only an egg, so maybe it was another test of Core? A Vault Monster incubating until it was ready to protecc and attacc but was never hatched because the Eridians ‘sacrificed’ themselves before it could? (I’m still not convinced the Eridians are the good guys. Listen. LISTEN. The guardian takedown is something to think about, BUT it doesn’t disprove that theory and I’ll stand by it because I 100% trust the Overseer more than bitchpants mcgee over here who thinks he’s soooo special for no reason fuck you and your dumb ‘I did what the Watcher could not’ bull you haven’t done shit.) ok sorry im done he just angers me. stupid guardian man. your whip is stupid and you should feel bad. oh also I totally called us actually being Guardians thru Guardian Rank before the game came out aha yeah.

I definitely think Gythian was a test/use of Core from the Eridians. We see in Bounty of Blood that core seems to mutate more the physical (and occasionally mental) parts of people, like with the crew challenges u do for Juno with all the weird hybrid people and whatnot. Gythian had the whole ‘the heart still beats’ thing going on (which is definitely a physical mutation if i’ve ever seen one), plus the whole, you know, mind control and shit. Which is p similar to what the menta gnats can do when charged with Infused Core. And keep in mind in BLaT we see DAHL notes on what happens to test subjects when injected with Gythian Blood. They mutated physically and went insane.

What im saying is Sirens and Eridium and Elements are connected, so what does Core equal? body/mind sure but are there unique creatures for core (yes holy shit I’m not talking about h2o au for once and FINALLY they gave us a canon name for the green stuff!!!). If not, I’d love to see a Siren interact with Core to see what it does to them. seriously why hasn’t tannis interrupted us yet. horrible excuse for a science lover (kidding kidding, I love her). I’d also really love a fuller rundown on what the hell Rose’s powers were. Because the whistling thing seemed to just be her grandma’s thingie passed down to her from her mom

but the core stuff

her gun seems to be infused with it. So did her sword thing. I didn’t really get a good look at it i was too busy trying to see thru my blurry tears of LOVE for this DLC.

Strangely while her tattoos are (mostly) green I actually don’t know if they’re core infused bc look at this

n look back at hers. hers aren’t very lime.

anyway

her eyes

I’d love to know if the core gives her immediate future sight or just increased perception or reaction times. there’s a huge difference but she seemed to be able to shoot the gun outta the sheriff’s hand near immediately and it seems kinda implied its because of the core (or at least because her eyes are glowing green)

there’s a possibility she has some unique core powers/possibly implants because of her relations to the project in the first place, or as leader of the devil riders after looting the facility. it’s really hard to say without more info and like i said im not sure if i missed an ECHO or two or not regarding her backstory :( 

Her hair is also green which I just noticed. Maybe she has core powers bc her grandmother got suuuuuuuuper irradiated/influenced working on project horizons and it passed down thru her n Rose’s mom, to Rose. Tannis does have a line about Sirens having unique hair colors and, if Sirens are linked to Eridium, perhaps those linked to Core also have unique hair color. Could also explain why only Rose seems to have those whistling powers. That said we don’t really see anyone else trying that whistling thing out afaik and idk if it was, like, a special ability or a certain tone/ditty or w h a t. 

i know being vague with everything gives them more creative freedom to create amazing characters and scenarios, but dammit I want A N S W E R S.

All THAT said man I’m so glad magic is real in the borderlands universe. oh, sorry, “magic”. It’s magic. Science it, tannis, I dare you. either way, I win. Either it’s magic and H2O AU is canon, or it’s science and I finally get my goddamn answers. Hey gearbox can you make a book just explaining all the science and eridian stuff. please. I’d love you forever. please. pleaheheheheaaasseee it’s all i’ve ever wanted.

oh also can i just say, suuuper disappointed we didn’t learn anything about anshin. Really wish non-fan favorite corporations would get the spotlight/lore for once. Like, I like Jakobs as much as the next guy, and I get WHY they did it (can’t have a corporation looking too good!!!) but they now have 3 DLCs (Jakobs Cove, GLaT, and Bounty of Blood) and also a hefty chunk of the main game. Like... we all know Jakobs fuckin sucks, look at what they did on Pandora. I really just want info on a medical corporation 😭 I have to do everything my damn s e l f. but SERIOUSLY IMAGINE the possibilities that could come from a medical corp getting its hands on eridian tech. like, yeah obviously the weapons corps are gonna use it for weaponry and stuff BUT WOULDN’T THE MEDICAL CORPS MUTATING PEOPLE MAKE MORE SENSE??? ldfhgldfshg I have to do everything my damn self...

anyway all that aside, this is definitely by favorite borderlands dlc by a LONG shot. Nothing comes close. Ahhh the lore, the nuclear aspect, the a e s t h e t i c (seriously, have I mentioned how much I adore Trigun???), the art, the music, the cryoslinger, the fact I can bust out going beeEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAans like Ray Chase at any time and it will MAKE SENSE. I love all of it.

oh, also, Rose is totally not dead. C’mon, they couldn’t find her body. She pulled a Lilith. “Are you sure she didn’t just suffer a wound that LOOKS fatal, only for her to come back in a blockbuster sequel...?” is a line from mr Jones himself (the movie guy)

I just hope when she comes back she gets to meet Captain Scarlett. I’d love to watch their interactions plus pirates and or ninjas. That’s 2 DLC villains now that have vanished without a trace. And I like Captain Scarlett way more than Rose (seriously I spent the entire beginning of the DLC complaining about how her voice bothered me- I was so happy she was a villain, I was hoping that was the case).

oh yeah, reminder, the people of vestige were living next to highly radioactive egg for likely years. i feel really bad for them :(

also!!!

this made me smile

#im tired #good night #bl3 #borderlands #borderlands spoilers #spoilers #bl3 spoilers #borderlands 3 spoilers #bounty of blood #bounty of blood spoilers #dlc3 #dlc3 spoilers #dlc 3 #dlc 3 spoilers #i don't want to spoil anybody please lemme know if there's any tags i missed!!!!

[somniatoressinespe]

(1/3) all your aus are like the 3x04 kiss: it’s what we all have been waiting for. LMAO. this flower au is karolina lesbian jesus-tier though and it must have been a beast to write but all 28k words were worth it bec the journey it takes us on. weeee. karolina may be a top but w/ nico she’ll be anything or let her have her in any way she wants bec in all universes she’s whipped and nico is uncharacteristically soft af for her in return.

(2/3) in many ways, au tattoo artist is like kar in the comics or tv kar w/o the history with nico. she’s haunted by her past relationship xavin and nico, respectively, so the next girl she dates faces insurmountable challenges or heavy baggage. in both instances, it’s nice, safe, responsible julie but she never shakes her to her core. sorry julie. florist nico like in all universes comes [back] into her life like a storm and she can’t help by fall for her deeply

(3/3) unlike julie, nico is never a temporary band-aid. kar “didn’t want to fall in love… but I did” finds her answer in nico. kar's intrigued by their differences yet connected by similar heartbreaks where they find comfort in each other and this au takes a very deanoru tale but tells it so well but differently. THANK YOU. it's what these soulmates deserve! oh, so i don’t have to hc what did au kar do in between nico walking out and her walking in the flower shop? fandom thanx u 4 ur service!

OK FIRST OFF THANK YOU!!!!! second: ikr! deanoru is so soft for each other i dont know how to deal, and ive always been way too focused on like their relationship before they became gfs? (not that i didnt enjoy the fact they got together so quickly in the show, just... i liked the pining) and in more than one way i believe karolina was changed by her relationship with xavin, but her and nico..... its just inevitable. (DIVINE PAIRING BITCH)

youre welome to hc this however you like, but i think mostly gert gave karolina the sternest talk to of her life and then karolina looked closely into all of their talks and interactions and just... she knew she liked nico more than what she thought she was allowed to (in between leftover grief over xavin and just their general agreement) but she didnt think she would just fall in love with her? cue panick and like a lot of sketching stuff and then her sketchbook is full of nico too and oh god everything good in her life has been permeated with nico and wtf- and then she has to see nico face to face and she’s cold or worse just plain indifferent and she never wanted all of this love but where else should she put it? and then she falls off her motorbike because she’s being an idiot (this part is a bit autobiographic if im being honest and really falling off a bike HURTS LIKE A BITCH) and nico is there??? cue being a smooth motherfucker while haking in the most weird places

this got weirdly long too because i still have way to many feelings about this if you didnt guess from the 28k words i had already written..... so thank you again for taking the time to yell at me through anon imaging im saluting

#asks #flower au #long post

[gingerwerk]

I was tagged by @ackackh 💛

Select 4 things you’re doing to get through these uncertain times.

Tag your friends (if you choose!)

Pass on a virtual hug and please accept one from me!

1. uh, main thing is attempting to finish my master’s degree (which is a bit frustrating/depressing now and usually causes me to spiral about other things but it does keep me focused on something for a couple hours a day, which means im not stuck on twitter constantly reading minute by minute updates for a few hours a day so)

2. working on fic when i have the mental energy; rn specifically i’m working on a sidefic for my flowers and tattoos au that’s set a couple years after the main fic ends and it gives everyone a look at what life around the shops looks like in the future when everyones lives are a little more settled. hopefully i can get it finished soon and maybe cheer some people up 

3. keeping up my physical appearance: getting dressed, painting my nails, doing my hair and makeup. i know its been said a million times before by so many people but when youre stuck in your house all day for days on end it’s really help to just put on a pair of jeans or something for a couple hours a day. i also make a point of stretching and doing some very brief little workouts every day 

4. watching tv shows/movies i’ve been meaning to watch/rewatch for weeks/months/years but haven’t because i haven’t had the time. currently rewatching scrubs for the first time in years but i’ve also watched s1 of Ramy (on hulu, really good show. 10 half-hour eps. if you have hulu and a day to waste i recommend it) and yesterday i watched ‘troop zero’ (on amazon prime. if you like wholesome movies about weird little girls you should check it out). my queues on my various streaming platforms are full of various shows/movies/docs so maybe i’ll make a list of everything ive watched through this lmao 

tagging @skinnysisk, @scottsunmers, @honeyreynolds, and @reedroad

#also rewatched s2 of 911 but like. i do that every month so thats not really news #also i spend a lot of time thinking of historical precedent for after effects of pandemics and how Usually life improves for regular people #unfortunately i am a realistic/cynical person and like. know better about how politicians are rn so like. not expecting it #but it sure would be nice if they surprised me #ask meme

[sharkmobster]

spider verse coffee shop au??

Anon im sorry i wanted to draw the coffeeshop au but ive been so tired lately so imma just overshare about what goes down bc this au is just (thick tombstone voice) : “everybody’s traumatized bitch lets get you a latte”

 • this au is incredibly villain centric bc uhhhhh all i do is think about villains

 • its also very aaron davis centric bc time to project my anxiety onto a grown ass man babey!!

 • anyway this takes place in a normal world where there’s no superheros or avengers or what have you, everyone’s super average 

• like i said this is more or less aaron centric and focuses on him readjusting to society and making connections with other people, and just healing in general. Aaron’s whole deal is that he was wrongfully arrested for defending himself against an off duty cop who was harassing him and ended up with a 10 year sentence  (but was let off a year earlier for good behaviour). He’s got a lot of guilt bc of this if only for the fact that he feels like he let down his brother and Miles (who was a small lad at the time).

 • Fun Fact! Jefferson was the one that picked up Aaron at the jail when he served out his sentence! The ride back to brooklyn was awkward! but also jefferson loves his brother and even tho they’ve had their falling outs he never once stopped believing that his brother was innocent. Jefferson also made sure to pull some strings and ended up getting an apartment set up for Aaron (even though jefferson and rio were 100% down to open their home to him for as long as it took him to get back onto his feet but of course aaron denied them bc he didnt want to be a burden) Aaron’s grateful but he tends to avoid his own family…a lot….

• it’s ridiculously hard to find a job bc nobody wants to hire an ex convict no matter the circumstances and Aaron’s legitimately about to lose hope when he spots an expensive looking shop nestled in between an old arcade and a knick knack shop

 • ‘Vanessa’s Cafe’ is neatly printed above the door in fancy gold lettering. it’s obvious that the owner has serious cash bc the shop looks too damn good and too well maintained to be a regular mom and pop shop. there’s a help wanted sign hastily scribbled on a piece of notebook paper in the middle of the window which is odd since it off sets the professional vibe of the place. But hey it’s worth a shot so Aaron walks in ready to be denied another job only to find the weirdest looking group of people he’s ever seen.

 • The first guy that catches his attention is the very large albino man who looks way too stressed out and manic to be working in a coffeeshop, but the job must pay well because he’s very well dressed.

 • “Liv, for fuck’s sake! Clean your goddamn station!” he’s whisper shouting? Is that even a thing? oh look at that he’s got a full set of razor sharp teeth. huh. that’s a hell of an aesthetic he’s going for.

 • The lady in question isn’t even giving him the time of day, just enthralled by her phone with a smile that looks too peaceful given what’s happening around her. She’s got wild hair tied up messily in a knitted bandana, weird glasses (custom made??) and when she glances up at aaron, her eyes widen in interest like he’s some anomaly to be cracked open. aaron looks anywhere that isnt the wild eyed lady at the counter.

• Theres another big guy that’s hanging around the back, heavily tattooed and lifting stacks of heavy boxes. Aaron takes notice of his prosthetic hand and the tattoo guy takes notice of Aaron. 

• “Lonnie. Customer.” The Tattoo guy seems nonplussed about Aaron and walks into the back. aaron assumes that he’s offended him by staring at his prosthetic for longer than necessary which yeah….yeah he’s probably not happy about the staring. 

 • lonnie’s got a bad case of resting bitch face so he’s glaring at aaron without actually glaring and he’s just rough around ALL the edges so his tones got that nice bite to it as he shouts from across the counter (which is not something you do to a customer but it’s lonnie…..)  "Hey! Ya looking for a job, skinny jeans?!“

 • Aaron blanches at the idea of working with these people but he is absolutely desperate for a job at this point.

 •"Yeah. I just got out of-”

 •"Great, you’re hired! We’re speed running this whole introduction thing, string bean.“

 •and that’s all i got other than like small details like:

 •Peter B Parker owns a ”“’'cafe”“” across from Vanessa’s and its literally just a burger joint that h a p p e n s to sell coffee and Parker will fight you if you call his place a deli ahdhdj

 •Liv and May are dating (big shock) and peter b has to constantly deal with seeing his competition over at his place all the time and it’s yikes

 • Tombstone and Noir will 100% throw hands on contact. They don’t hate each other tho??? Its weird they just like to fight. gives them a chance to work on their banter i guess. Noir works the coffee machine at Peter’s “'cafe”’ so i guess he’s the “”barista”” of the joint but he drinks the coffee more than the customers do

 • Miles and the rest of the spider kids “”“”“"intern”“”“” at the cafe which basically translates to free labor

 •  spider ham works there but he isnt a pig he’s just john mulaney. i know its weird. nobody actually sees him tho so he’s a complete mystery as to what he looks like so he could be john mulaney you never know. the only person who’s seen him is noir and that’s only bc they’re  a thing???

 •oh speaking of everyone being gay:  everyone’s gay

 • Lonnie and Gargan (tombstone and scorpion) are 100% dating but everyone legitimately thinks that the both of them are straight old men despite the fact that they live together, go to work together, hang out afterwards together, and they’re just always together

 • lonnie’s  daughter (janice)  visits every other week (def the product of a divorce he went through years ago) she’s alright with gargan but she’s very distant towards her dad and def has that teen angst phase that she’s going through

 • (lonnie can and will talk to you for hours about how much he loves and supports his daughter despite the fact that their relationship is very estranged)

 • you can find janice hanging out with the cute blond punk girl at that weird burger/coffee place across the street

 • oh gargan’s big and strong despite the fact that he’s missing three limbs, liv works in robotics on the side and constantly tweaks and repairs his prosthetics when they start acting up which leads to them having this weird friendship where they both borrow each other when they need something and dont really expect anything in return (like gargan’s good for getting her supplies and doing heavy lifting when she needs it and liv’s always down to run check ups on gargan)

 • oh yeah liv used to be a scientist but immediately lost her license and phd when she started going above some board members heads to buy less than legal things through super illegal sources

.• that’s another thing, kingpin tends to just hire ex cons and criminals to work in his cafe just bc he believes that a person willing to work hard to better themselves deserves a chance to re enter society again.

 • like they’ve all done bad things but still ended up with a job at the cafe. aaron fought a cop, liv did some shady deals for an illegal experiment, gargan used to run a drug ring years ago due to personal reasons but once he was free from jail he never dealt with the stuff again, and lonnie killed a dude (allegedly. he never went to jail bc they couldn’t prove anything but hey word spread around quick and everyone knew not to go anywhere near this guy)

 • kingpin is in this au btw he’s just……a very depressed man who’s still grieving over his wife and son dying in a car accident

.• he rarely shows up to run the cafe bc its too much for him being in the place that his wife loved and built up from the ground. he used to be the manager after she died but couldn’t handle it and mostly left lonnie to take care of it

• which holy fuck lonnie is trying his best to keep this cafe alive and well and there’s only two other people working there so like its enough to have him scrambling all over the place trying to find more help (thanks aaron)

 •miles doesn’t know aaron’s working at the cafe across the street and aaron def wants it that way bc even tho he’s out of jail he hasn’t actually……visited miles yet….. it’s the shame that’s keeping aaron from reaching out to him which is….sad bc miles doesn’t care what happened he just wants his uncle back.

 • oh oh one more thing RIPeter used to run the deli across the street but had to leave brooklyn to go volunteer at homeless shelters across the states indefinitely so theres no telling when he’ll be back, so he left the cafe under the guidance of pb parker (peter b parker voice: my cafe now)

 •and uhhh thats all i got, like i said this au is just found family trope + the healing we all want + bad people getting redemption which is all the tropes that i love all compacted together in the most cliche au you can imagine!

#itsv #aaron davis #the prowler #liv octavius #doctor octopus #lonnie lincoln #mac gargan #hi i work at a starbucks and it's hell so this is how i cope babey!! #spider verse #spiderman #the life and times of a robot prince

[clockworkrobotic]

OOOOUUUGGGH H HERE IT IS

Thanks everyone for your patience while I took three times longer than intended <3

final word count 5234 ;;

I’m planning to write more but this ended up so absurdly long that I’m splitting it up. It’s a wild dumpster fire of headcanons and canon canons, ive tried to avoid exposition but if something doesnt make sense shoot me an ask lol

sort of vaguely around the end of BL1. Rowdy teenage calypsos. Dramatic backstory. Go

“Do it again.”

 He sits cross-legged, facing her, watching intently. Tyreen scans the grass for another flower and finds one, a small purple thing that’s braved the blistering Pandoran heat to spring up from the rare lush patch they’ve settled into this afternoon. Her brow furrows with concentration as she touches it and searches for the not-quite-uncomfortable breathless feeling that precedes what she’s about to do. In honesty, she’s not entirely sure what she does to trigger it, but if she focuses hard enough, it seems to happen eventually.

 Sure enough, after a few seconds, it’s wilting against her hand, the colour draining to a dull brown as the petals dry and shrivel and crumble to dust. Her chest feels hollow and then it doesn’t, her arm is tingling slightly as the pleasant warmth travels up and leaves her markings glowing a faint blue, and she feels content and floaty for a moment.

 Troy is watching in awe, and he reaches out suddenly and grabs her arm.

“These are getting bigger,” he tells her certainly, inspecting her tattoos, “they didn’t go around your hand the other day. D’you think they’ll keep growing?”

 Tyreen pulls back and looks at the ground. She doesn’t want to tell him that she feels them, at night, a scratching needling feeling drawing patterns down her body, and that as pretty as they are she doesn’t really want any more of them, they might make her face look weird. She also doesn’t want to tell him that he’s right.

“So cool…” He trails off, and Tyreen enjoys the quiet envy in his voice.

“I wish I could do other stuff,” she confesses. Troy shrugs.

“Maybe you can. But you haven’t found it out yet.” He pulls up another flower and hands it to her. “Do it again.”

* * *

“When was the last time you ate?”

“Dunno,” Tyreen answers honestly, “I’m fine, though, really.”

She feels more than fine. It’s the only use she’s managed to put her powers to - as long as there’s something small and alive nearby, she can draw its energy in place of food. Some days she’s been getting by just running her hands through the grass. When she thinks about it, she can’t even remember what being hungry feels like.

 The past few weeks have been a blur of trudging through the arid desert and scavenging abandoned camps and just trying to stay away from trouble. They had learnt early on to avoid active settlements - the local bandits didn’t take too kindly to thieves - but rummaging around in waste and ruin yielded little in terms of rations. Tyreen had pocketed herself a neat little pistol that she (thankfully) hadn’t had to use yet and Troy had secured some kind of baton that looked as though it might have once doubled as a taser, but other than that, resources are scarce. At least this way she can make sure he’s getting something close to enough to eat.

“You should still eat something, Ty. This can’t be good for you.”

“I’m not sure living in the desert is good for anyone.” Tyreen pulls her jacket up over her shoulders to shield herself from the heat. Little as she might physically need it, she’d kill for a cold drink right about now. Beer. She isn’t even sure what beer tastes like, but she’s parsed that it’s a noble option on hot days, and under the blistering sun came now to consider it some kind of ambrosia.

 Troy’s footsteps stop behind her and she turns wearily to look at him. He’s shielding his eyes and squinting into the distance.

“I think there’s a town up ahead. Let’s move.”

* * *

“It’s no use, Troy,” Tyreen groans, trying to hide how pissed off she’s really getting. Not that she doesn’t appreciate his enthusiasm, but there’s only so much she can put up with. She starts to pull her jacket back on.

“No, no, c’mon, just - one more try,” Troy pleads, darting forward to grab her wrists, “You heard the guy in the bar back there. He reckons you’re a Siren. There’s - there’s so much more you could lea-”

“Most powerful being in the universe were his exact words, Troy.” She slouches a few exasperated feet away and slumps onto a rock cluster. “Killing plants is a far cry from that.”

 Troy runs a hand through his hair and sits himself on the ground in front of her. “It’s not killing plants, Ty, it’s - some kind of energy thing, like you can - steal life force or something -”

“Troy,” Tyreen cuts him off firmly, then pinches the bridge of her nose and softens her tone, “I know you want to believe there’s more to this but - I think this might be it.” He’s watching her in earnest, but she can see the light die behind his eyes a little, and it hurts. “You heard him, too. Sirens are dangerously powerful, from birth, he seemed to think they’re killing their parents and levelling bandit camps before they can walk. Do you - don’t you think, if I could do anything like that, we would’ve found out by now?” She tries to offer a small smile. It looks more like a grimace. Troy opens his mouth to say something, and she cuts across him again. “I’m sorry, Troy. It’s a fairy tale. We’re stuck on the same shitty planet as everyone else.”

 Troy’s mouth is pressed into a grim line and he looks away from her. Tyreen gets up and offers him a hand. “Come on. It’s getting dark. I can start us a fire, at least.”

* * *

 They come for her that night.

 Tyreen is jolted awake by a hand over her mouth, and finds herself face to face with a masked marauder. Even with the ventilator covering the majority of his face, she can tell who it is.

“Hello, little Siren,” he croons, and the grin in his voice is sickening. She shrieks, one hand going for his face, the other scrabbling above her head for her pistol, kicking and howling muffled under his thick glove, trying to make enough noise to wake Troy up. The marauder is bigger than her by a lot, pinning her easily to the floor, and to her panic she can see two others advancing behind him.

“Never seen one in real life,” one of them comments, stepping over and kicking her gun out of reach, “Is she dangerous?”

“Nah, they told me everything,” says the one holding her down, and shifts to press his knee into her abdomen. Tyreen feels tears springing into her eyes. “She can’t do shit, least, not yet, anyway. Reckon we can fix that, though.”

 Tyreen twists beneath him and makes another lunge for the pistol. It catches her assailant off guard, and she manages to choke out a breathless “TRO--” before he regains his hold on her, hand twisting in her hair and slamming her face hard against the ground. She can taste blood.

 Several hands seize her arms and haul her to her feet, and there’s one covering her mouth again. She kicks frantically at them, feet slipping against the dusty earth floor.

“Come on, sweetheart,” is the rasped attempt at sweetness against her ear, “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.” And with that they’re dragging her from the shack, impervious to her muffled pleas and the tears streaming down her face.

 Through her panic and probable concussion, she tries to find some clarity, to find that little breathless inkling she feels with the plants. It’s a long shot, she’s never managed anything more complex than a small cactus before, but maybe Troy is right, she can do it, she just needs to -

CRACK

The hand around her mouth goes limp and after a couple of beats, she feels the weight drop behind her. The other two let go of her arms, instinctively leaping away from whatever has just felled their comrade, and for one absurd moment she thinks that she’s managed something incredible.

“TYREEN!” Troy grabs her arm and pulls her behind him. He’s holding a thick piece of wood that looks like it might’ve been Tyreen’s height to begin with, but now hinged almost completely in two, bearing thick, vicious splinters where it had collided with the marauder’s head.

 The other two have drawn their guns, but Troy is faster. Even at 16 he towers over them, wasteland-formed muscles knocking down both attackers in one swing of his makeshift weapon. There’s a loud BANG that jolts Tyreen unpleasantly back into reality and she dives for the dead marauder, seizing his gun from its holster and realising too late that she’s never done this before.

 Troy has one of the men pinned to the ground, and the other is taking aim again. Tyreen doesn’t think, just points and shoots, aiming as far from her brother as she can get away with, fighting the resistance of the trigger until she lands a solid hit. Silhouetted by the light of Elpis, she sees him go down, his fingers twitching as his weapon falls from his grip. Her heart is racing, vision blurred by tears and adrenaline, but she can’t risk him getting up. She can hear the panicked pleas choked beneath Troy’s fingers to her left as she shoots her attacker between the eyes.

* * *

“Can’t sleep?”

“Nah.”

 Tyreen sits on the mottled grass and watches the sun rise. Troy seats himself next to her, legs crossed like he used to when they were kids. Tyreen fidgets with the sleeves of her shirt.

“You can’t wear this, Ty, it’s a hundred degrees out,” Troy says, picking at the worn cotton. Tyreen pulls them further over her hands.

“I don’t want anyone to see them.”

He doesn’t have anything to say to that, and the pair of them sit in silence and watch the orange sunlight wash over camps and communes as far as the horizon.

“We have to go,” Tyreen says eventually. Troy glances over his shoulder to where the bodies of the three marauders are still lying. It’s only been a few hours, but in the heat the flies are already buzzing lazily around the corpses, and a swarm of rakk are beginning to circle overhead.

“Don’t you want to get some rest first? Nobody’s going to find us up here for a while.”

 Tyreen shakes her head and lets the silence fall for a little while longer, punctuated by the occasional shriek from above.

“I’ve never killed anyone before.”

“Me neither.”

 They both ponder the absurdity of the situation. Pandora isn’t renowned for its peaceful living, its occupants consisting mostly of violent bandits, escaped convicts, and the mutated casualties of Dahl’s mining operations. Yet they’d managed to avoid confrontation up until now, and it had dragged them screaming from their cabin in the dead of night. Terrified as she’d been, Tyreen wonders why she isn’t feeling more, well, anything - she’s just taken a life, and she feels as indifferent to it as if she’d walked away from a bar fight.

“They deserved it,” Troy says suddenly, as if reading her mind. His voice is flat and stony, “They were going to hurt you.”

 Tyreen looks up at him. His expression is cold, and there’s something different about him, like a vengeful spark in his eye. She sighs and leans her head against his shoulder (well, arm) and then pulls away abruptly.

“Troy, you’re bleeding!”

 Troy snaps out of his reverie and glances down, noting the deep indent in his bicep where a bullet must have skimmed past him.

“Has that been open this whole time? Damn it, that’s hours old, we have to get that cleaned up-”

“Calm down, Ty, it’s just a gra-”

“It’ll get infected, Troy, you could lose your arm.”

“It’s fine, leave it-”

“Let me help you.” She’s standing now, furious tears pricking her eyes. Troy doesn’t say anything. She storms inside to get the med kit.

* * *

 They play it safe and don’t stop until they’re a couple of towns over. Despite the sparse population news had a habit of travelling fast here, and Tyreen is keen not to become the focal point of a planet-wide manhunt. She stays small, keeps her arms covered despite the sun, though thankfully they appear to be moving north and it’s getting a little cooler.

 Troy keeps an anxious eye on her. She’s growing skittish, recoiling inward whenever anyone passes too close, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. She refuses to use her powers any more and at night she insists on sleeping next to him, terrified of what might happen if they get raided again and she can’t wake him up in time.

 They’re sitting in a tavern one lazy afternoon when a conversation the next table over makes Tyreen freeze up. Troy hears it too; they’re talking about a local faction of the Crimson Lance, and the word Siren hangs heavy in the air. Tyreen cringes inwardly and looks up at Troy with pleading eyes, desperate to get as far away from this conversation as physically possible. Troy shushes her, trying to tell her without words that they can leave in a moment, but what they’re hearing could be important - Commandant Steele is old news at this point, but it sounds like they think there’s another Siren in the area. Tyreen pulls nervously at her sleeves. They can’t be talking about her, surely - she hasn’t said a word to anyone since they arrived. Low profile isn’t the word.

 Tyreen gets up suddenly, upsetting their glasses, no longer resigning to sit and listen. She grabs Troy with a shaking hand and all-but drags him out of the bar.

* * *

 Tyreen sleeps restlessly, tossing and turning uncomfortably, too hot and too cold at the same time, her brother’s protective hold the only thing preventing her from falling out of bed. She swears the ground is shaking like they’re resting over a tremorous fault line, yet the room and its contents remain still and Troy sleeps undisturbed. There’s a nagging urge telling her to head outside and look for… something, like a magnetic pull calling her out into the darkness, but she vehemently fights it, fear outweighing abject curiosity. When she finally drifts off, the sun is rising, spilling in through the frayed curtains, and she’s curled up in Troy’s arms, safe as she’ll ever be.

* * *

“Ty.”

Tyreen barely hears him. Her head feels like it’s full of radio static, has done since she woke up somewhere around 3pm. She’s focussing on just walking straight forward, though she’s not sure she’s doing a particularly good or convincing job of it.

“Tyreen,” Troy insists, grabbing her arm and forcing her to stop.

“Wuh,” is all she can manage, her hazy state making the sudden halt feel vaguely like whiplash. She presses her eyes shut and rubs her temples.

“Ty, look.” Troy is pointing behind her. Tyreen turns around and waits for her head to stop spinning.

“What ammi lookin’ at?” She mumbles after several seconds of attempting to decipher the blur that is her vision.

“Are you alright?” Her brother sounds incredibly worried and incredibly far away. She aware of his hand on her back, although she’s not sure that is her back, it feels thrice removed, as if she’s watching through someone else’s eyes and thinking with someone else’s brain.

“M fine. J’st dizzy. Water,” she manages, and fumbles around for her hipflask. The motion is disoriented, almost drunken, but she finds it and struggles with the cap for far too long. Troy takes it off her and opens it. “What’s am I lookin’ at?” She says again.

“Ty, you’re leaving footprints.”

“So? S’a desert.”

“In the grass.”

Tyreen blinks several times and tries to focus on what’s in front of her. It takes what feels like minutes before she can see clearly enough, and when she can, she’s not convinced she isn’t hallucinating.

 As far back as she can see, as far as they’ve walked - which is not the sandy wasteland she’d been picturing in front of her for the past couple of miles, but more of a, admittedly ill-attended, pasture - there’s a set of footprints leading up to where she’s standing. Where she’s set foot, the grass has wilted away beneath her, leaving dead foliage and dry earth in its place. Tyreen looks down to where she’s standing now, and sees it; around her, the verdure wavers and leans in, towards her, pulled taut by some invisible force, before drying up and shrivelling to straw. It seems to slow as the circle around her grows, but it’s happening alright.

“This is bad... issnt it.”

“It’s…” Troy’s tone does not match hers. He seemed elated. “Ty, it’s incredible. I’ve never seen you keep this up for so long!”

“Mm?”

“You’re getting stronger, I told you, you just need to practise-”

“Troy…”

“- We can find somewhere safe next time we stop, you can try it on something larger, like, an animal or something-”

“Troy, I’m n- not -”

He’s still talking, but his words are blurring together into one excited stream of noise. Tyreen feels a drop in the pit of her stomach, like the ground has just fallen away with her still attached to it. She tries to feel for the hipflask he’s still holding.

“Troy I’m going to throw up,” She manages, surprisingly coherent, and her brother catches her as she blacks out.

* * *

 Troy is holding a cold cloth to her face when she comes around. She’s lying on his jacket, but the ground beneath is hard and uneven, and the fabric pulls uncomfortably against her as she moves to sit up.

 Troy breathes a hefty sigh of relief and against his better judgement, gathers her into a tight hug.

“Oh my god, I was so scared, Ty, I thought I’d lost you,” he mumbles brokenly into her shoulder.

 Tyreen pats his chest gently. “’M fine. Can I have some space?”

 Troy gives her one last squeeze and lets go. His face is wrought with worry, and she can tell he’s been crying. She opens her mouth to say something, and he shoves her hipflask into it.

“Drink. It’s been hours.”

 She complies gratefully. He’s right, she’s completely parched, and the flask is empty in seconds. The awful fuzziness from earlier still isn’t quite gone, but she can see clearly again, and Troy doesn’t sound like he’s half a mile away when he talks. Tyreen takes a few deep breaths and scopes out the room.

  It’s not a room. They appear to be in a cave of sorts, the grey walls dotted with condensation that’s slowly crawling down the walls and keeping the air comfortably cool and refreshing. Up ahead, the entrance opens out to a deep blue sky dotted with bright constellations and a full, luminous moon.

  Troy is watching her. “I’m sorry, it’s not great, but it’s the only place I could find without anything…” He trails off, and she sees his jaw flex as it does when he’s nervous. “...Alive.”

 Tyreen blinks at him, at a loss. He doesn’t elaborate. She draws her legs up to her chest and rests her head on her arms.

“It’s a good thing you’re wearing long sleeves, anyway.”

 It’s then that she sees it. His shirt is torn - no, burnt, the edges frayed and blackened,  pulling away to reveal an angry mess of red, blistering skin dragging down from his shoulder.

“Oh my god…” she murmurs, reaching out to touch him. He flinches.

“You, um,” Troy laughs uneasily, trying to lighten the mood and failing, “You were a bit grabby.”

 Tyreen can only stare. She can barely remember anything before she passed out, only a static headache, and footprints, and Troy catching her, and now…

 Now her brother is recoiling from her touch, on instinct, like a frightened animal, and he looks as though someone has raked at his chest with a hot poker.

“Troy,” she says slowly, “What’s going on?”

 Troy runs a hand through his hair and looks at the ground. His shoulders are hunched, making it hard to see the scars she’s left on him, but she knows they’re there now, and she can’t take her eyes off them.

“I don’t know,” Troy answers honestly, after what feels like forever, “But I think those bandits were right.” Tyreen flinches at the memory. “I think I was right.” Troy looks up under his hair and offers her a half smile. Tyreen feels like her heart is in her throat, too anxious to smile back. “You can do more than kill plants.”

* * *

 Tyreen is glowing.

 Whatever cover the long sleeves offered her before is lost now. Through the tired grey of her shirt the markings weave a prominent blue around her arm. She wonders if they will actually burn through eventually.

 She walks a few paces behind her brother, hopeful that his hulking presence will shield her from view, or at least deter any would-be attackers.

 She wears gloves now, although she’s not sure it’s doing much. Foliage still wilts as she brushes past it, and it’s getting worse. She can’t control it. Her heart is hammering in her chest and she can’t sleep, so buzzed constantly that she can’t get a moment’s rest. The static headache is coming back.

 They’re back to raiding bandit camps, reluctant to risk running into any enthusiasts in towns, but it’s taking a toll on the both of them. Troy still needs to eat, and as they venture further into the tundra the camps grow populous and more secure. Few are abandoned and they’re more complex, civilised almost, rickety shacks climbing multiple levels up cliff faces, connected by makeshift stairs and ladders that can barely hold Troy’s weight.

 After a few close calls, they decide Tyreen should sit out the raids. Night is a lost cause, her luminous tattoos making her a walking target as they try to stealth through the camps, and during the day her vision blurs and vertigo hits her in waves.

 She resolves to sit outside the camp, standing guard, although there’s not much she can do if disaster strikes. At least Troy can find her easily in the dark. She learns quickly not to mention the growing collection of marks and scars he’s amassing with each trip.

“I think we should turn back,” she says one night, as they’re huddling together under blankets, deep in the safety of a cave. Tyreen can barely feel the cold but her brother is shivering (much as he tries to hide it) and she’s giving off enough body heat for the both of them.

“We can’t.” Troy’s jaw is clenched.

“We were safer in the desert. There’s too many people here.” Troy shakes his head. “Troy, come on, we can’t stay here. You’re going to freeze to death.”

“I’m fine,” Troy mumbles, breath rising in a mist before him, “Have to keep you safe.”

“Troy…”

 Her brother presses his eyes shut and shakes his head again. “It’s better for you… here.” He draws in a shivering breath. “Nothing… to hurt you.”

 Tyreen knows exactly what he’s talking about, and he’s right. As they wander deeper into the frozen wasteland the greenery is dwindling, giving her body less to draw on, the headaches becoming tolerable background noise as opposed to the constant, nauseating buzz when she was brushing through the foliage a few miles back.

 She wants to tell him to leave, that she’ll be fine here on her own; but she knows that’s a lie, and he’d never abandon her anyway. Troy is the only thing keeping both of them alive, and it’s killing him.

 She looks up at him, in time to see his head drooping as he drifts into an uneasy sleep, resting against her shoulder. She’s managed not to burn him since that fateful night in the nexus, but she also hasn’t managed to do anything else. For a few days Troy had insisted that she try channelling the energy she’s built up, convinced that that’s what had hurt him, but after several frustrating, failed attempts, Tyreen was starting to think they’d both imagined it. Maybe she hadn’t burnt him, just clawed at him a whole lot, enough to draw blood. That must have been it.

 She wishes she could sleep. Instead, the best she can do is curl up close to her brother and keep him warm until the morning sunlight seeps in through the windows of their makeshift home.

* * *

 Tyreen is sitting in the snow a few hundred feet outside of Troy’s latest charge when she hears him screaming. The sound reverberates within her, shaking her to her core, raw and visceral and unmistakably him. She’s on her feet before she can stop herself.

 He’s done this before… don’t get involved… it’s too dangerous… She stops trying to convince herself. She’s never heard that sound from him before. He needs her.

 Nobody looks at her when she bursts into the camp. They’re too busy huddling, watching, jeering at something she can’t see up ahead. The ground is spattered, warm and wet and soft with blood, so much blood. They’re at least a hundred yards away and the vicious spray reaches as far as where she’s standing.

 Tyreen feels as though she’s wading through water as she approaches the spectacle. She can’t move fast enough, terrified of what she’s going to see, but desperate to see it. The buzzing headache is creeping an icy path behind her eyes and obscuring her vision, her heart pounding so hard and so fast her chest hurts and she can’t breathe, her blood races like molten metal through her veins and she can see out of the corner of her eye the vibrant blue radiating from her, the only visual she can place as the static pulls a cloudy veil over her sight.

 She isn’t sure if the crowd parts for her, or if she pushes through them. The taunting subsides for a moment as her presence is noted, and then starts back up again, wordless yelling and mockery coming from all sides. Who is she? She shouldn’t be here.

 Tyreen doesn’t need to see clearly to know what she’s looking at. Her brother is slumped motionless before her, propped half-upright against something, his form through her murky vision painted merciless red, red, red. She can make out her hands in front of her as she reaches out to him, her palms coming away from his torso hot and damp. Her mouth forms silent words, begging him to wake up, fingers drawing thick red lines along his face.

“This is heartwarmin’, truly.” The voice comes from all around her, barely audible through the haze of shock. Tyreen gets unsteadily to her feet. The world tilts sideways. “But you can’t be here, darlin’.”

 Tyreen half-staggers around to face the speaker. He’s a blurry mess of colour and motion, and he’s pointing something hefty and probably dangerous at her. “You got ten seconds to leave, or you’re joinin’ him.”

 What happens next, Tyreen will later justify as self-defence. It’s a lie. She’s never wanted to hurt someone so badly. She wants him dead.

 The figure takes a step towards her, and Tyreen moves, hand outstretched. She thinks she hears his shotgun go off as she connects with his throat. Something surges within her, rippling through her body and charging the air around her with a terrifying electricity. Her vision goes white.

 Tyreen comes around to chaos. Her clothes cling to her uncomfortably, and she’s vaguely aware of screaming and raucous movement all around her. She looks down at her hands.

 She’s covered in blood. It’s coating her arms, her body, drying against her face, plastering her hair against her forehead. Through the vibrant red, her tattoos glow faintly, the light dying peacefully against her skin. The headache is gone.

 Heart in her throat, Tyreen reluctantly surveys the area around her and nearly passes out. The bandit who threatened her is gone, replaced by a violent spattering of blood and viscera. An amalgam of decimated organs and what might be clothing is dotted around, hanging from various buildings and structures, painting a few unfortunate nearby bandits caught in the splash zone. Only the gun remains intact, lying in the midst of the gore, seemingly untouched by any of it. It’s almost comical.

“Don’t touch me,” she says shakily, aware of one particularly brave or foolish bandit cocking his gun off to the side. He doesn’t need to be told twice. Tyreen casts a sweeping glance around her, and the remaining spectators scatter.

“Tyreen…”

“Troy! Oh my god!” Tyreen spins around and all-but throws herself at her brother. The colour is drained from his face, his skin cold and clammy, but he’s alive.

 She pulls away suddenly, remembering what has just transpired. “Oh, fuck, oh my god, I didn’t-”

“That was... awesome,” Troy manages. He smirks weakly, hand reaching up to grasp her shoulder. Hand…

“Troy, your arm!”

Troy follows her gaze to bleeding crater where his arm used to be. It’s been blown completely from the socket.

“Huh,” he mumbles. He moves to touch the wound, and Tyreen grabs his wrist. “That’s not good, is it.”

“Can you walk?”

“Th... think so.” Troy attempts to push himself up with his remaining hand. “No.”

“I- I don’t know what to do.” Panic settles solidly in her throat as the magnitude of the situation dawns on her. “Troy, y - you need a doctor.”

“Yeah…” Troy trails off, his eyes starting to drift closed.

“No, no, god, don’t go to sleep, Troy-!” Tyreen taps his face firmly, hands shaking. He doesn’t respond. “Stay awake, please, wake up, oh my god - HELP!” She scopes the camp frantically. “SOMEONE HELP ME!” There must be something, someone who knows what to do, a settlement out here couldn’t last this long without medicine…

 There. She can make out the crudely-drawn Aesculepion hammered into the ground a few hundred feet off.

“I’m gonna be back soon, okay?” She presses her forehead to her brother’s, fighting tears. “I’m getting help.”

 She draws herself to her full height and takes a deep breath. Picks up the discarded shotgun with bloodied hands and marches towards the medical tent.

* * *

 Troy’s hand twitches lightly against hers. Tyreen springs to attention, the most she’s moved in two days.

“Hey,” she greets him softly as his eyes flutter open, “Don’t move too much. You’re in safe hands.”

 Regardless, Troy awkwardly tries to push himself upright, knocked off balance by the missing appendage. Tyreen pushes him gently back to lie down.

“You need to rest. Doctor’s orders.” She shoots a smile over to the far corner, where the medic is cowering, terrified. “Isn’t that right?”

“You’re not glowing,” Troy murmurs, his voice cracking slightly from the anaesthesia. He moves over like he wants to touch her. “I can’t feel my arm, Ty.”

 Tyreen brushes the hair from his face and smiles tenderly. “We can fix that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

 Troy squeezes her hand weakly, too worn out to inquire any further. He mumbles something incoherent and sinks back into the mattress. Tyreen pulls the worn blankets over him, feeling real relief for the first time.

 It’s refreshing. Liberating. Nobody’s out to get them here, far contrary - the commune dwellers have proven quite eager to help her. For once in her life, they don’t have to run.

#borderlands #the calypso twins #Troy calypso #Tyreen calypso #gratuitous self indulgence #real talk i had a blast writing this i hope yall enjoy reading it #more to come!! like comment and subscribe!! #it's 6am i should go to bed #ive gotta go to college in like two hours lmao

[solidburnreturned]

by popular demand, here is my oc chatter regarding stuff like relationships n random character traits. its rly long oops but i divided it by character at least lmao,, these are all things that i think id also wanna use if i ever use these characters as humans (which i def will at some point honestly)

- i thinkkkk i want toad and pike to date. toad would come across pike in their lagoon one day while hes wandering around on another wonked exploration and pike is like hey lol :B with their pointy teeth and long ass hair and toad is like :0 he just sits and talks with pike for hours and comes by a few times a week to hang out with them. they fall in LOVE

- fred and lani are def gonna date too. two butches who use he/him pronouns fuck yeah? they have a powerful relationship. mega BDE. power couple. not a lot of pda but alone together theyre both very loving and tender, its a vulnerability thing for both of them. like lani is very cool and can be either stoic or borderline obnoxious while fred is punkish. fred is very head over heels for lani tho 

- mardi n berg.....complicated....i gotta figure out how they actually end up together. berg is a jogger and mardi is a piercer/tattoo artist so that doesnt....make them line up very much in that department. ill think about it more and figure something out. itll probably have something to do with berg’s nose stripes and eye rings

- also side note on mardi......i want his backstory to include a grey period set off by his brother being eaten when they were both young at the troll tree. like he becomes angry and depressed, sorta like branch, his tattoos that he gives himself the only color on his body, until he learns to let go and his colors come back (high key this was inspired by 21 savage, mardi’s voice claim, and the line in his new song A Lot “my brother lost his life and it turned me to a beast”). ill develop this idea further but i just wanted to get it written down

- bismuth.......unsure. they had a crush on pepper and kept trying to ask her out until she came out to them as a lesbian, then they were like :’) but theyre ride or die theyre not gonna be an ass to her because they cant date her. they just care a lot about her. its like icarly

- gazpacho and jupiter CUTE two small trans trolls in That Love. i need to develop them more but. theyre just cute 

- talia is still a little too new for me to develop her......but im thinkin about it...

- kinda same with ernie and olive. they kinda mostly just exist as cute babby characters right now? if anything olive is a trouble maker and ernie is a chatterbox

- clem and thursday also fuckin cute as hell......clem was a nervous wreck asking thursday out but theyve been together like ever since, which is more than a few years. they have a rly cute gentle lovey dovey relationship. thursday is usually hanging around up on her gf’s shoulder giving her kisses on the cheek

- bea and crystal.......adorabl relationship......crystal is another character thats kinda nervous but bea is so chill n confident is helps calm her down. theyre both trans and love the hell out of each other. rly slow n steady relationship, bea is very patient

- pj and marcus!!!! dumb mlm rep relationship. pj is so so gay for marcus he can barely comprehend it. its a dumb ego boost for marcus but hes also very in love with pj, he just expresses it in a weird cocky way idk marcus is a nerd. i need to make more content for them i think about these two way more than it seems

- dwight!! he has a boat. he lives on the boat.....ive thought about maybe pairing him with toad and pike. deciding on his voice claim has been the most difficult thing ever

- kass and current HELL yeah buff gf and tol gf......they spar with swords and wrestle for fun and hang out at the beach a lot. kass fuckin loves the gem on current’s back. i gotta make more content for them 

- celia......i wanna do more with celia. friends with berg probs theyre both sporty. shes just a sweet giant troll who loves mushrooms. i gotta pair her with someone whose palette goes nicely with her pastels 

- carrot and harriet are literally cricket and tilly from big city greens just older. yeehaw siblings. havent thought about relationship stuff with harriet yet.....i think she also needs ANOTHER redesign her colors are just too heavy still. maybe if i can make her colors compliment celia’s that could work as a pairing? hm hm.....carrot tho is dating ford’s oc rye theyre gentle country gays

- rainer. hm. i dont think theyre rly the dating type......theyre just chill with being them. they just wanna swim and be funny

- hammond and andromeda are probs two of my least developed characters.....hammond still needs a redesign. he might be cute to pair with walter, theyre around the same age. andromeda tho i have no idea. she might be a nice pairing with eve? if i ever feel like pairing her with someone...who knows. eve is very carefree and might find andromeda’s energy too intense

- radish i wanna make more content for!! i rly like her a lot....i think shes another troll who isnt interested in dating. shes very focused on being a chef instead. loves her friends a lot!

- mack and pepper 2gether 4ever obvs......they have a relationship that gets richer with age for sure

- im just gonna ramble about mack. i thinkkkkkkk i wanna make her half latina? columbian specifically. she doesnt quite read as white and i didnt make her with the intention of making her white. anyway i love mack a whole lot and should really develop her backstory more. its not rly as like...””tragic”” or whatever as pepper’s i know that but she def has layers. i wanna give her whole family more depth. she has a very complicated relationship with her own feelings and motivations that i need to think about more fully. my powerful femme tho i lov her

- mack’s parents, robin and champagne, i need to like....think about them more. they have kinda a comedic relationship thats sorta inspired by roger rabbit and jessica rabbit. robin is a very caring, gentle troll who’s very smart and cares a lot about his nursing responsibilities in the village. champagne is very relaxed and the “voice of reason” character of the family. she loves a good party and has her party planning down to a science. both are very successful power parents. kickass family

- i already talked about topaz and marney in a separate post but i still love them both so much. big wesbiabs

- pepper....pebber. im gonna talk about her the most obviously gfhjdkrs i wanna talk about her mental health i feel like i think about it a lot but i never write about it explicitly? this is gonna be long oops hgjfksd she has depression and ptsd stemming from the trauma of her crash...im thinking she also has adhd and thats just something shes always had. her depression rly got heavy during her recovery and right after like...she hated being bed/housebound and felt rly powerless to her situation and just let it eat at her until her personality had actually changed considerably. like extroverted wild child rebel to introverted, soft-spoken sulker. this got better with time but she still is pretty introverted, just turned her moodiness into chill energy. 

- she has bad depression habits like letting dishes, old food, laundry, or just stuff pile up in her room until it gets overwhelming and she spends like two days just manically cleaning; or staying in bed for way longer than she should and messing with her hygiene; or eating way more or way less than she should eat in a day. just stuff thats hard to completely break out of when youre recovering. her color is pretty consistently the dark red but if shes having a particularly rough day she might look a little paler, or like a muddy brick color at her worst. thats kinda rare tho

- her ptsd is the thing she hates the most. for a while it made her feel very weak and she’d beat herself up over being traumatized by the crash which was obviously not helpful to her mental state but she was really all over the place during her bodily recovery. its part of the reason why she started working out, she wanted to reclaim some sort of feeling of strength and power that she felt she’d lost completely. she still gets really frustrated with this feeling of loss but she gets a lot of support from loved ones which has helped her not self-blame so much. her ptsd manifests mostly as nightmares/insomnia, chronic headaches/stomachaches, intrusive thoughts and sometimes flashbacks. the nightmares are what rly get to her, she really doesnt get a lot of good sleep and it can get to the point where she just doesnt want to sleep sometimes and she’ll stay awake until she crashes hard

- her scars used to be a big trigger for her ptsd, which is why she has her bangs covering the one on her face and wears long pants (her knee braces are too bulky for pants and would force her to wear shorts which would force her to expose her scars). she just. really really hates them. this is something she struggles with for a majority of her life

- once she and mack start going steady with their dating and start consistently sleeping in the same bed, pepper starts to sleep better. she still has nightmares that wake her up at least weekly, but having mack there to comfort her (whether she wakes mack up accidentally or if mack is already awake) helps a TON with getting her back to sleep soundly. it also just helps her sleep in general to have that comforting, loving presence in her bed snuggled up to her ;w; mack is a big help in general with pepper’s mental health, pushing pepper to make better, healthier choices and get out in the village more and have fun. mack for sure does not “”cure”” pepper of anything but shes a very positive light in pepper’s life that helps her pull thru tough times!

- i love all my goofy trolls so much. its so fun to just chill and blab about them to relax between working on big projects ;o; ty if u cared enough to read this whole thing ur so rad

#writing about my hooligan troll ocs is so relaxing #like im not overly invested its just something fun to think about and thats just very nice #txt #oc #oc rambles #ill tag it as that so i dont lose this #trolls #long post

[thewolfmancometh]

Lords of Chaos (2018) [REVIEW]

You know how you might be scrolling through the internet and you see friends and acquaintances participating in something and your immediate reaction is, “Ugh, I can’t believe these people, I’ll never be caught DEAD doing that because I am too cool for it and would rather do this OTHER thing which will make me look INFINITELY cooler when other people see me doing it!” Well, now imagine you like metal, live in Norway, and it’s the ’90s. Well, if that’s the case, you’ll end up creating a musical style that is “darker” and “more evil” than everything anyone else is playing, which you’ll call “black metal.” Oh, and if you are so committed to this “cause” that you murder people, then you’re the characters in Lords of Chaos, which explores the burgeoning black metal scene, specifically through the eyes of the real-life musicians responsible for Mayhem and Burzum. Lords of Chaos is a twisted and compelling exploration of posers who define themselves by being edgier than their peers and who are so detached from reality that they don’t realize that they’re the ones putting up a front yet have the privilege and means to “fake it ’til they make it.”

Fans of this blog will know that this is usually the part where I describe the plot, yet the plot is so bananas that it must be seen to be believed. Making matters more interesting is that, while some details are dramatized, the more horrific and shocking elements are lifted from the actual metal scene in Norway, which you could learn about through a quick Wikipedia browse. Let’s just say there are murders, suicides, animal sacrifices, church burnings, and young boys trying to look scary by painting their faces with makeup.

You might notice that I’ve categorized this film as both a “horror movie” and also a “non-horror movie.” Pretty weird, huh? Allow me to explain! The film isn’t horrifying in the traditional sense in that there’s some sort of serial killer or supernatural force that motivates the narrative, so in that regard, it’s definitely not a horror movie. However, the events that unfold are deeply unsettling, not only in its depictions of horrible violence, but also in the ways these privileged youths compose themselves and will rattle you to your core. The narrative, as well as the true-life events that inspired it, is a game of one-upmanship that leads our characters to commit disturbing things.

What makes director Jonas Åkerlund‘s depictions of this story so effective is that he never tries to make the characters look cool, because they, well, aren’t. While there is surely an air of mystique to how such a bizarre subgenre of music came together, what with the images of bands wearing corpse paint and what seems to be an infatuation with the devil, the director makes it quite clear that these kids chose to wear corpse paint and worship the devil, really for no other reason than to fabricate an image of themselves that would inspire this mystique. Decades later, there are still people intimidated by such figures, with Lords of Chaos showing that the founders of this “movement” were as insecure as anyone.

Another strength of the film is that, while we might relate to feelings of teenage angst or depression, Åkerlund focuses on empathy over sympathy. These kids (who become adults throughout the film) are frustrated by all of the things every teen must encounter in their adolescence, yet it appears as though no one was around to keep them in check. We can feel bad for someone struggling with depression, sure, but when they reveal that they like to kill cats as performative evil, we stop caring about how their journey turns out. The acts of violence, sadism, and racism are all injected into the story with appropriate timing to snap you back to reality when you begin to feel sorry for the characters and these acts are depicted objectively, as these assholes really were that awful, regardless of whether or not you liked the sounds their musical instruments made.

Here’s the thing: the story of the founding of Mayhem and the birth of black metal is an intrinsically Norwegian story, so when the film begins and the American actors are speaking in very American accents, it’s a little…jarring. Days later, I’m still trying to come to grips with this. Take a movie like David Fincher’s Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, for example, where all of the actors put on phony Swedish accents while speaking English, only for various signage around the scenery to be written in Swedish. Kinda weird, but the movie is meant to be more accessible to American audiences than the original films and it at least makes sense that this authenticity had to be sacrificed. Having all of these Norwegian characters speaking without a hint of an accent, only for various ancillary characters to show up and speak with Norwegian accents took me out of the experience multiple times. Admittedly, this could be another way that the director wanted to make the central characters stand out from the rest of their community, subconsciously showing how these protagonists never fit in, but you, too, might just be thrown off by the whole thing and raise an eyebrow when Rory Culkin says, “True Norwegian black metal,” in perfect American. I couldn’t help but wish Scandinavian actors could have been found for the necessary roles, with this core component making the film feel more committed to accessibility than to authenticity. There’s also the argument that this adds another layer to the performative nature of the narrative, but I think I’m just talking myself in circles at this point and you can see what I’m getting at.

While I can’t say anyone will enjoy watching Lords of Chaos, it’s a fascinating exploration of a unique time in metal’s history, in addition to delivering a cautionary tale of leading a performative life. If you feel evil, be evil, but don’t be evil just because you want to prove you’re more evil than anyone else, because then you will become the ultimate poser and might as well put on your corpse paint to go to the mall.

Wolfman Moon Scale

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[grammaticalmustaches]

KETTLE KATCHERZ FEEL FREE TO READ

under a read more due to length oops

suddenly overcome with love for my players. its a constant emotion but im feeling it so big right now. 

theyre just so invested in the world! and their characters! and theyre so kind!?! truly i think dnd brings out the best in people.

i gave them some kenku that are having trouble integrating with a community because of the language barrier and now my players are out of game diving into esl education to make a communication book to help them get basic ideas across.

it is an ongoing joke that they adopt every npc i give them and its not much of a joke bc no lie i think there are just as many npcs who travel with the party as there are actual pcs. actually i just counted there are exactly as many party npcs as there are pcs. three of those npcs are kind of just one npc who at one point shared a consciousness but are now separate(-ish) beings and one of those npcs is just a small horde of dust bunnies that occasionally either makes or cleans up messes so you could argue the numbers dont actually line up but it is still an absurd number of npcs to have adopted. i have to plan reasons npcs cant or dont want to go on adventures as one of the first character points i make otherwise their party would be triple its size. i am constantly forgetting how many npcs they have with them at all times but they Dont forget and make points to include them in conversations and decision making.

i just think dnd brings out the best in people!!!

also i lowkey hate making maps but maps are important for understanding the world so iv been doing research and shit and trying to get better at it but! my players literally help with that? not just in making it fun and rewarding but like literally help with the task of it? 

as in we just came from a city that one of my players spent a few years at so he drew a map of the city and wrote me out a Huge world building document about the city and its culture and like, climate and neighborhoods and what was important to his character while living there and everything! and another player gave me a six page document that included maps about the territory their character grew up in like, almost at the very beginning of our campaign! i havn’t even had a chance to use any of that information yet because they come from a very far away place! they dont care they Had Fun making me this big old document! and now we’re visiting a player’s childhood home and They’ve offered to make the map for the area! that would be three whole maps all player made!!! 

theyre just so invested and make things so easy on me!!! it is so easy to dm a group that is constantly focused on Working With the world and moving their characters forward!

and its a super homebrewed campaign partially bc i honestly think thats not only more fun but how dnd is Meant to be played, with some creativity and making shit up on the spot, but also my players are so good!!! about shit being homebrew!!! when something comes up we dont know the rules for or which rules dont exist for we work together to decide what happens!!! if someone knows a rule i dont they let me know and i can ask them what they think happens given the rules that do apply and we make decisions together on how it works with a focus on what makes the most compelling story! 

its just so truly OUR game!!! my beloved comrades!!!

Also like, its been off and on and we’ve taken breaks but we’ve been playing since March 2019? and people have added and left and like i said we’ve had to take breaks but in the end this is not a campaign i can imagine not being in anymore. i cannot imagine this campaign ending just because, like, there’s just so many of them who are so invested!!! and Im so invested! to be honest this campaign is one of the most fun and rewarding things in my life and one of my favorite things about it is how confident i am that it is going to be a constant in my life for a long time. like im really able to just Revel in this campaign and sink hours of work into weird bullshit and plan out arcs and enemies and friends and plot hooks and aesthetic bullshit i dont expect our party to meet for Quite a while because i just! i have no fear that this is going to end!

One of my players got a symbol from our campaign tattooed onto their flesh body? art that i made for dungeons and dragons? it will be on their human body for the rest of their life? and another got a tattoo that (partially) represents what this campaign means to them? another has told me they would love to get a campaign related tattoo with me someday? there is a tattoo in game that binds (most of) the pcs to each other and there has been talk about us getting that tattoo together?

i cannot think about this for too long or i go insane. i made some shapes on canva and spent the whole time wishing i had ms paint because ms paint is my level of art and these are designs that are being added to bodies because we have collectively installed so much emotion and meaning into them. 

i am losin gmy mind.

and like, iv already sunk lowkey a kind of unreasonable amount of time (esp for someone who just went back to school and has homework!) into making my kenku soundboard and mixtape but its been such a passion project already and the whole time iv been working on it iv had Zero fear of the reception because i Know and Trust that my players will think my first attempt at using garageband is sick as hell even if its kind of not because they are just crazy supportive and love our world like i cant even really call it my world its truly Our world and! we all love and contribute to it!!!???!!!

I just love my party so much!!!

i just!!! truly think!!! dnd brings out the best in people!!!

at the end of every session we do a rose/bud/thorn (thing we liked/thing we’re looking forward to/thing that could be improved or issue wed like to bring up) to check in with how the session went!!! we discuss things we didnt like and how wed change them!!! 

they challenge me Constantly not just in pushing my capabilities as a growing dm but they also speak up and challenge my decisions when they disagree! 

i jsut cannot get over how truly we are Working Together in all aspects to make this campaign what it is. 

i have a tendency to move dnd at a crawling pace where every hour of every day is meticulously role played. and they told me they didnt like that and now we work together to make things move faster! and it doesnt always work and we still dont move that fast but weve brainstormed several options and tried a few new things to make it easier for me to go faster!

PROBLEM SOLVING INSIDE AND OUTSIDE OF GAME

dnd! brings out! the best in people!

and also also also theres like, Multiple players who really hate using technology and sometimes esp video chatting. and most sessions currently people’s thorns have been tech issues/being on video. but wer still all (mostly) show up every session! we still submit to the mortifying ordeal of being seen/heard on discord!

some of my players have an accented character voice and i love them So So So Much for this and it makes me feel confident and comfortable enough to try my best at (when i remember to) doing character voices for npcs but we are not critical role and we are certainly not voice actors so none of our voices are very good or consistent! and my players with accents get self conscious about this pretty often but like!!! they are TRYING!!! they are GIVING IT THEIR ALL!!!

what more could anyone possibly ask of them?

multiple players have come to me concerned and looking for advice/help because they dont think theyre very good at role play/staying in character. we’ve got people who so dedicated theyre stepping Way outside their comfort zone and then turning around and apologizing for how far a walk it was??? they are giving it Their All and their biggest concern is how to give MORE?

i had a moment last session where i realized that our current arc is literally exactly the kind of arc i Dreamed of dming when i was first starting out. like, not to toot my own horn but its legitimately open world and they have a mystery that they need to get to know a small community and find out what everyone knows and put all the pieces together to figure out what happened. i used to scroll through dm forums Endlessly looking for Any advice on how to plan a good mystery and i didnt think id ever be at the point where i could actually pull a mystery Or an open world arc off. but like, here i am. its going pretty great so far.

also this current arc is one of the First i ever thought up for this campaign. obviously it’s changed and evolved a lot since original concept but like. just a Bit emotional over, ya know. finally getting here and having it be even better than i imagined. how far we’ve all come, in and out of game. the fact that my players had so much fun talking to my prize npc kenku whom i have been developing for literal years now and adore beyond reason that they are learning about esl studies to help them integrate into the coven they are trying to join.

DND! BRINGS OUT! THE BEST IN PEOPLE!

COLLABORATIVE STORYTELLING. WORKING TOGETHER TO CRAFT MEANING. LOVING AND SUPPORTING EACH OTHERS CREATIVE DECISIONS. MAKING DICK JOKES.

THIS IS WHAT DND IS ALL ABOUT BABY. 

#dnd #for anyone wondering what this super long post is: tl;dr i love my players and our campaign #kettle katcherz #thought i finished writing this very long post #then Went Off in the tags #to the point i got cut off #so i went back and added my tags to the actual post. #sorry not sorry that i just love my players beyond tag limit

[rebeccacatalinas]

Super just curious, 100% not judging, not trying to debate, really just wanna here your thoughts bc RoyAi thoughts are Good Thoughts and I too don’t think Roy and Riza were Best Friends before Ishval was over: how do you see their relationship having developed in canon??? It’s fun to imagine them being Young and Into Each Other but at the same time they were v formal at the funeral and in Ishval sooooo I often wonder how they *fell* in love (that seems too simple a term for them but anyway...).

MUAHAHA im excited to answer this [and i wanna say someday ill write it out, but lets be real, im mostly a oneshot kinda gal]. and ok it got longer than i intended but i have so much fun writing about them:

heres how i see their relationship in canon [obviously theres some of my own headcanons thrown around in here but im trying to keep it mostly analysis]:

as older teens living together - barely acknowledged one another, didn’t speak often, riza was already pretty reclusive thanks to her father’s neglect and roy was focused entirely on his studies so he could finish his apprenticeship as quickly as possible. a few conversations here and there, but considering she still refers to him as “mr. mustang” i dont think they ever became friends or spend any alone time together outside of a few meals.

tattoo reveal - i dont think there was a big jump in their relationship, it was mostly awkward and full of uncomfortable promises and roy realizing he shouldve noticed her sooner [maybe he couldve stopped this tattoo from happening? roy would definitely blame himself for something like this when he has nothing to do with it lol]. riza trusts him because of his inspiring words + her grief/confusion towards her fathers death [cuz it was probably a weird combo of grief and relief and that made her latch onto roy’s words about ‘saving everyone’ even more]

in ishval - after finding out about each other being in ishval, riza felt betrayed and angry and roy felt even guiltier and dirtier than he already had. and they have a couple of uncomfortable bonding moments ‘cause roy feels responsible for her being out there [tho riza didnt join the military for him, it WAS his words that inspired her to enlist]. i dont think they had the opportunity to spend much time together in ishval, tho riza was one of three amestrian women to appear in the ENTIRE ishval volume so i think hed be constantly worried about her [for good reason].

back burning - [this is the most complicated time for me to think about LMAO ive read like 600 fics and thought about every possible version i can for this…scene. and nothing feels completely right. i just wanna know the details of what they did, arakawa. i gotta KNOW.] i imagine it was an intensely emotional situation, guilt heightened by their recent ptsd and the way roy talked about how familiar he is with burning flesh and to what degree he can harm someone…he tried to look at it objectively and pretend not to be fucked up by the situation, and im sure he could just combine burning riza with all the other people he’d burned and let it pile onto his guilt. so theres still no love, just guilt and responsibility and pain. likewise for riza, she feels lots of guilt and responsibility and pain. LOTS of pain. i think during this time/afterwards is when roy shares his ambitions with her and his desire to change things in the military and she can fully understand how much he wishes he could undo what he did.

“be my assistant” - sttiiilllll, i dont see any love in this decision. its all based on responsibility and guilt which is the core of their bond which is so sad and fucked up. he wants to give her the opportunity to take back what he took from her, in a sense. to fix what he broke. tho there wasnt anything romantic behind it necessarily [tho i imagine by this point in their lives, grumman and hughes and christmas have already started shipping them lmao], making her his assistant and giving her permission to kill him was tying their fates together forever and they were both totally aware of that and, like, its INTENSE. its like a marriage proposal but worse and more dramatic.

love???? - so when/how did they fall in love??? id say…..very gradually over the course of their time working together. lots of late nights and close encounters and accidental touching and comments from friends and family combined with a lack of legitimate dating and the fact that they planned on working together for as long as possible…i love the idea of roy having a flick switch in his brain one day and he realizes hes been in love with her for a long time, whereas riza’s admiration for him just grows to the point where her heart feels full when theyre together and maybe she doesnt immediately realize that its love [i dont see riza as someone who spent a lot of time thinking about romance] so its fun to imagine that she really just didnt realize what she was feeling. BUT I DIGRESS, thats all headcanon, i just see it being a nice slow burn between “id like to make you my assistant” and when they first appeared in the manga. a beautiful slow burn that ive read hundreds of fics for and they all get my heart flutterin’

so this turned into a much longer thing than i realized. i stand by everything here as headcanon but i feel pretty strongly about most of it, i llloooovveee roy and riza’s relationship so much lmao.

#royai #roy mustang #riza hawkeye #fma #meta #this is so looonngg im nervous LMAO #dogpantry #carro answers

[mst3kproject]

Conquest

This movie has long been something I wish MST3K would have tackled, but I figured they never would because there are simply too many gratuitous boob shots in it.  Imagine my delight, then, when Avalanche introduced us to the Titty Drones!  I imagine they'd get a hell of a workout from this one... perhaps in a host sketch they'd end up lying exhausted on the table while Jonah and the bots sing a song to inspire them to carry on.  Other than that, the movie is just one long, foggy, dubbed, what the fuck am I watching sword-and-sorcery experience with Jorge Rivero (yep, Yuri from Werewolf) as our hero.  Bring it on.

A young man named Ilias has decided to set out on a quest.  The wise old elder of his people gives him the Bow of Kronos, which can shoot arrows of light, and off he goes in search of some Hero Stuff that needs doing.  Y'know, monsters to slay, maidens to save, that kind of thing.

I did not alter that screencap.  That is what the movie actually looks like.

Anyway, he arrives in a country in the thrall of a topless brain-eating sun goddess named Ocron and her army of coke-snorting wolf-men (I swear to you I could not make this up if I tried). In a drug-induced vision, Ocron sees herself being shot by a faceless hero wielding a laser bow, and decides she'd really better nip that in the bud.  Her first attempt to ambush Ilias is foiled by the wandering barbarian Mace, who wants the magical bow and needs Ilias to teach him how to use it.  The two become fast friends – indeed, Ilias is the first friend Mace has ever had in his life, so when Ocron finally succeeds in killing the kid, Mace decides to take up his cause and avenge him.

There is an awful lot of nudity in this movie.  Even with the titty drones, they would still have to make some deep cuts to get PG-13 out of it, and Jonah would probably face some awkward questions from Crow and Tom.  The nudity ranges from the very matter-of-fact to the extremely leering, and weirdly most of the latter is saved for the villainess.  The camera lingers on her nipples and groin as she writhes in the throes of precognition, while a phallic snake crawls up her abdomen.  Yikes. Elsewhere, other topless women appear to be completely incidental. A scene in which a near-naked girl is torn to pieces by the wolf-men is much more about the absurdly artsy violence than the nudity.

There is an equally shocking amout of fog.  Not a single frame of this movie appears to be fog-free.  I think it's supposed to create atmosphere.  Mostly it just makes me want to clean my glasses over and over like I’m searching for Robert Denby.

As thick as it is, the fog cannot disguise just how much the movie's visuals suck.  Ocron's army of werewolves are on the same believability level as bear-headed Ivan from Jack Frost, and leap from above like the cavemen in Starcrash. Mace's bird friends look like if Birdemic had used terrible puppets instead of terrible CGI, and make the same sound.  Night-time is represented by a blue filter so intense it looks like we're filming through jell-o and the exact same colour is used for an underwater scene.  One entire sequence takes place in pitch blackness, and all we hear are monster noises.

And that's not even getting into what these crummy effects are depicting. Angry grass, swamp zombies, a caveman nunchaku fight, chirping cocoon-people... every time you think you've seen the weirdest possible thing, Conquest throws you another curve.  Mace's long hair and the angular symbol tattooed on his forehead look like they're supposed to remind us of Charles Manson, but I can't imagine for what purpose.  There are loving close-ups of oozing pustules covered with flies.  The laser-arrows look like something out of Tron. The music falls somewhere in between 'funky disco' and '80's mellow synth'.  It's all so weird.

You can enjoy the movie purely on that 'wtf' level.  It's especially fun to show it to friends and watch their facial expressions as the movie piles oddity upon oddity.  But if you want something to think about, this movie is actually full of themes and commentary!  Mostly, it's looking at the 'hero's journey' motif and pointing out the weaknesses in it, but there's also an element of Greek tragedy, in that it's impossible for Ocron to escape her fate even when she's the most powerful woman in the world.

Ilias sets out on his quest with no specific goal in mind.  It seems as if he wants to be a hero, but he hasn't yet settled on a heroic deed – he'll take whatever comes his way.  His first attempt at a 'heroic' act is saving a girl from being bitten by a snake, and then he pouts when she laughs at him and runs away, rather than sticking around for the kissing he assumed would follow.  Then, once the action begins, we quickly find that Ilias is terrible at heroing.  He gets his butt kicked by Ocron's trolls, and Mace has to save him.  It is Mace who finds them a way out of the cave when they are lost and trapped, and Mace who goes to find healing herbs when Ilias is poisoned.

This is all totally understandable, though – Ilias is in a strange place, and has no idea where he's going or what he'll do when he gets there.  Although he's a good shot with his bow, he has no combat experience and growing up in peaceful agricultural society has not prepared him to survive in this wilderness of lawless hunter-gatherers.  When Mace warns him that Ocron and her goons are more than he can possibly handle, it seems like he has a good point, and Ilias eventually comes to think so as well.  There is a point when he nearly turns back, actually getting on a boat and setting off for home.

The moment of lost hope is a common part of the hero's journey story.  As the Death Star prepares to fire on Yavin IV, it seems that the Rebellion will be unable to destroy it in time.  The Fellowship of the Ring is nearly broken by the death of Gandalf.  Moana tries to throw the Heart of Te Fiti back into the sea.  In all of these stories, this moment is followed by a turn as the characters find a source of inspiration: Luke hears Obi-Wan's voice telling him to use the Force, and is able to destroy the Death Star.  Aragorn urges everybody to continue on to Lothlorien, where they can rest and regroup.  The spirits of Moana's ancestors show her what she has already accomplished and give her the strength to try again.  Ilias, too, remembers his original goals – vague as they were – and turns back, arriving just in time to take care of the cocoon-people who have crucified Mace and thrown him off a cliff.

Yet even this is kind of a failure, as Ilias is unable to save Mace from downing in the ocean at the cliff bottom.  Instead, friendly dolphins come to Mace’s rescue (in yet another what the fuck moment), and shortly thereafter Ilias is killed by a cave monster! The Callow Youth ultimately fails to defeat the great evil, and it happens because he is a Callow Youth.  Mace, who is rougher and tougher and used to looking after himself in this country, ultimately succeeds because he has the skills and experience Ilias lacks!

Meanwhile, Ocron's own fate is as coldly inevitable as that of Oedipus in Sophocles' play.  As the story begins, she and Ilias have never even heard of each other.  When one of her minions mentions her by name, Ilias doesn't know what he's talking about and has to ask Mace. Ocron herself never even learns Ilias' name, always simply calling him 'the Wanderer'.  She sets out to kill him not because he has actually caused her any trouble, but because her visions tell her that he will in the future.  Yet it is Ocron's attempts to get rid of Ilias before he can threaten her that first bring her to his attention and make him a threat, when he decides this is the great heroic task he's been chosen for.

But Ilias is not the one who defeats Ocron – his death, instead, spurs on Mace to kill her, and this fulfils another aspect of the prophecy.  For one thing, Mace is far more of a 'wanderer' than Ilias is.  Ilias comes from a settled society and intends to return there when his task is done.  Mace, on the other hand, is some kind of outlaw, with the mark on his forehead to denote that he is 'everybody's enemy'. He has wandered for many years and sees no end to it.  Ocron's prophecy is entirely self-fulfilling, and as in Oedipus Tyrannus, it is the efforts to avoid it that make it come true.  She even has a harmatia, a single mistake that seals her doom.  When we look at her visions in light of the ending, we recall that the warrior she saw had no face. It is, instead, the bow of Kronos that is fated to kill her.  Her fatal error was focusing on the wielder rather than the weapon!  

There's way more I could talk about here.  I could go into more detail about how the film uses Ocron's nudity to dehumanize her, covering her face and nothing else. I could write paragraphs and paragraphs about the homoerotic love story between the two heroes and its derivation from the Greek tradition of erastes and eromenos (the names in the story, Ilias, Kronos, Ocron, are almost all either Greek-derived or just intended to ‘sound Greeky’). I could contrast their positive philia with the film's negative depiction of eros as embodied in Ocron. I could boggle over the fact that Mace uses strangers as target practice or wince at Ilias shooting trolls in the crotch.  Conquest is as endlessly fascinating as it is endlessly weird.  I'm pretty sure Lucio Fulci failed at whatever it was he was trying to do with the movie, but man, he failed with style.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #conquest #80s #just fuckin weird #curiously caucasian cavepeople

[christophersymes]

Celebrity Status

Celebrity Status, an ongoing L(G)B(T)+ story also on Wattpad and Quotev.

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Chapter Two

masonfucker1000: hey! i cannot fucking sleep for the life of me

masonfucker1000: nosam show's today, isn't it?

familyjules: hell yes it is! im too excited to sleep too do u wanna talk for a while while i get ready

masonfucker1000: uh, yeah, arent we talking now?

familyjules: shut up i'm sleep deprived and playing bass my mind is off

masonfucker1000: playing bass? are you reallyyy playing bass? or are u playing around w ur secret bass-stripping software, wannabe christo?

familyjules: fuck you i'm actually playing, masonfucker! u want proof go here: rabb.it/familyjules

masonfucker1000: uh huh

Mason's heart was suddenly beating out of his chest as he sat up in his bunk and plugged in earphones. Was Jules gonna turn on her camera? He was already freaking out that he was in the same city as Jules, he might even see her in the crowd! The boys had already teased him plenty in the past week for being so excited for it. He took a deep breath and clicked on the link.

Elias: Show me the proof!

Jules clicked on the camera and stuck his tongue out, smiling. "Hey, dumbass," he said, internally cringing at his voice. He lifted the bass. "Proof. Right here." He started to play one of Nosam's songs, smiling while he did.

Mason had to take a deep breath as soon as Jules turned the camera on. He blushed for no reason at all as he looked down at his bare chest and SpongeBob boxers, even though she couldn't see him. Jules' voice was awesome. The first thing he noticed were her blue eyes. Mason had seen a lot of blue eyes, but these were... wow. It was as if Mason had been searching for a certain shade of blue and had just found the perfect ones.

Her hair was an absolute mess down to her shoulders, and there was glitter all over her face, and she had tattoos. Blackwork flowers covered her shoulders down to her elbows. Those flowers were framed by a thin black line that went across her collarbone and shoulders, down to the end of the flowers. He could also see a moth and red and blue outlines of a skull on her thighs. She looked good. Really good. And then she showed him the bass and started playing, and Mason was pretty sure he'd nut right there.

Elias: holy fuck. holy fuck

Elias: Jules you're gorgeous

Elias: Sorry i mean your bass playing is amazing, it is, my mind is blown

Elias: but ive heard that before. right now im looking at

Elias: your face and

Elias: you look so good

Jules continued playing a few chords while he leaned forward to see the screen. He blushed, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. "You're an idiot. My hair is a fuckin' mess right now, dude." He leaned back again, the bass just barely hiding the fact that he was in a pair of boxers and a tank top and nothing else. "I'm gonna respect you not turning on your cam or mic, but damn, I wish I could see you." He laughed a little at how weird that sounded. "You're making me think you're someone famous."

Mason grinned. Jules' voice was soothing and light enough to severely tone down the dangerous words coming out of her mouth, the fact that she had casually— jokingly— guessed who he was. Sort of.

Elias: aw!! youre blushing! thats a blush!! youre cute

Elias: you're gonna make me blush. are u really that desperate to see me?

Elias: im sure u wish i was some1 famous

Jules laughed again. "Asshole. Maybe I do, you could get me a record deal or some shit. I don't sing much but my sister sure as hell can and I can harmonize okay." He plucked a string. "Also I'm not desperate. Just curious."

Elias: i would in a heartbeat

Elias: SING

Elias: you gotta sing

Elias: oh im sure its a burning curiosity

Jules blushed again, but obliged. He started singing a Nosam song. He blushed through it, then coughed a little. "I'm really not that good. Better with other people."

Mason smiled wide when Jules started singing. It was similar to Chris' range— which was really good. And her voice was different. Or maybe he was just... crushing extremely hard on her.

Elias: you're a solid Chris! and better than you think!

Elias: your voice is super smooth but it also has a nice rough edge to it and its fucking rad

Elias: you're a 1000% band material all the way, jules, I swear

Jules laughed nervously, grinning. "You're biased. Definitely just saying it." He shrugged a little. "Ugh. An hour 'til I go stand in line all day for good views."

Elias: youre good!

Elias: it'll be worth it

Elias: I hope youre at the front of the stage

Elias: ha! is that what ur gonna wear? what are those, boxers?

Elias: they are!

"Hell no!" Jules laughed. "It's way too fuckin' cold for that. And yes. They are boxers— Spongebob ones to be specific." He set his bass on the bed next to him and leaned up on his knees, so Elias could see. "I should probably get dressed actually. Turning off my camera for a minute." He turned it off and started to get dressed, keeping the mic on.

Elias: FUCK

Elias: IM WEARING SPONGEBOB BOXERS TOO

Elias: wow u have killer thighs

Elias: BOOOOOOOO

Elias: now im left to imagine

Jules stopped for a second to read the messages. "Twins! And boo for you. The thighs and ass are the result of a lifetime of hockey, my friend." Jules shrugged on a flannel and started buttoning it over his tank top. "I've got a killer ass too."

Mason bit his lip at that, significantly affected by imagining Jules' killer ass.

Elias: thank fuck for hockey

Elias: oh, I believe it

Elias: i have a lacrosse bod

Mason froze after he sent it. Sure, it was in hidden corners of the internet, but it was a little-known fact he played lacrosse in high school.

Jules grinned. "Lacrosse, huh? No wonder you like Mason. He was a lacrosse player."

Elias: oh yeah? bet he wasnt as good as me

Jules pressed the camera button again after he had his jeans on, stepping back as he buttoned them. "Better? Warmer." He grinned, turning in front of the camera. He was wearing a too big flannel since he couldn't wear his binder, and ripped black jeans. "With boots. It's kinda too pop punk for Nosam but y'know."

Mason swallowed as he fixated on Jules' ass. He blushed at the screen and looked up at the bottom of the top bunk. This was ridiculous.

Elias: hotter, definitely, yes

Elias: Pop punk is rad

Elias: and you rock it

Jules sat down again and grinned. "Thanks, man." He pulled the hair tie out of his hair and started to fix it, pulling half back again. "How are Nosam concerts? I mean, I've seen videos, but I haven't ever thought about asking about like... the fans? How did people act?"

Elias: lots of hype. really loud. lots of glitter, merch, posters. as u know, nosam fans are dedicated. altho some people won't even know who they are and pretend they know the songs, which is hilarious. lots of shirtless ppl after T-Shirt Song. might be some shoving around so be careful. theres some younger teenage fans too, they might get a bit much but theyre definitely passionate. older fans are adorable

Jules took a second to read it, playing with a pillow in his lap. "Sounds fun. I— nah, I'll just take off the tank when T-Shirt Song is played. Fuck, I'm so excited. That just made me even more excited. Fuck!"

Mason grinned as he watched Jules get gradually more restless in excitement.

Elias: youre adorable

Elias: hey are u in a relationship? i cant imagine not

Jules was still shifting around a little when he rolled his eyes, plucking a string out of the pillow. He looked up at the other message sound, blushing again. "Damn, you like making me blush. No, I'm not. Haven't been in many, either, if you're gonna ask that next."

Mason pursed his lips, silencing an excited yell. He fist-pumped quietly.

Elias: you're really cute when you blush

Elias: and you're

Elias: into guys?

Jules blushed more, rolling his eyes again. He was silent for a second as he struggled to force the words out. "Yeah. I'm bi, if that helps." He focused his gaze on the pillow again, smiling a little. Elias definitely was interested. "You're more flirty than usual right now."

Elias: can't help it looking at you

Elias: i just think you're really cool

Elias: hot, too

Elias: gotta include both ends of the temperature spectrum

Jules snorted. "I think you're really cool yourself. And probably hot as hell. Can't see your face though, so I'm relying on the idea that you're not some sixty year old mouth breather flirting with me through the internet, like my parents warned me about. And if you are, you're rich, so be my sugar daddy, please and thank you."

Elias: it means shit, i know, but i swear im not 60. ur right, im definitely hot. and young. v muscular. probably the guy of ur dreams. and i would happily be your sugar daddy, baby

Jules blushed, unable to hide his grin. He blew a kiss at the camera, laughing. Being called baby had definitely felt... weird. Maybe it was the nerves. "Thanks, daddy," he teased, blushing harder when he said it. God, his face was going to be the color of an apple soon.

Mason's eyes widened at that, and he cursed himself for actually not minding being called daddy. But, hey, if it works, it works.

Elias: oh, you're into that? ;)

Elias: record for blushing goes to Jules!

Jules huffed. "Asshole. Shut up." He wanted to hide his face in the pillow, but that would get glitter everywhere. "Fuck. I should go soon."

Elias: pretty sure you like when im an asshole

Mason frowned as their alarms rang at that moment. Andrew whined loudly as he dropped himself to the floor from the top bunk. He snorted. Nice timing, Jules.

Elias: :(

Elias: you should i guess :(

Elias: its gonna be good!!

Jules sighed. As much as he loved and adored Nosam... He didn't want to go. He wanted to keep talking to Elias. "I'll message from my phone when I get there, though! And I'll take lots of pictures and videos for the site. My sister is coming with me, too, I'm so excited." He grinned, his excitement returning. "I'll talk to you later, Elías! Have a good day!"

Elias: you better

Elias: i might not answer for a bit tho ill be p busy today

Elias: talk to you later! have a good day, jules x

Mason sighed as he left Jules' room, but grinned as he thought about seeing her in the crowd. It was gonna be awesome.

⧫

Hours later, the place was packed and Mason urged the guys along, getting hyped by all the noise. "Guys, c'mon! Let's say hi to some people."

Once they reached the lines, Mason grinned, touching hands and greeting people from the other side of the cord.

"Dude! You look hardcore!" he gasped as he saw a guy with glitter, lipstick, fishnets, and a ripped Nosam tank. A fucking killer concert outfit. God, he loved fans. The guy's eyes widened, and he grinned wide as Mason gave his hand a squeeze. He scanned the crowds, looking for Jules. She had to be there somewhere.

Andrew came up behind him, muttering in his ear. "You're fucking whipped before even meeting her."

Mason smacked his back and flipped Andrew's hood up over his face to annoy him. Andrew flipped him off as he pushed it back down.

Jules stood in line with Rosaline, bouncing a little as he messaged Elías.

familyjules: in line! we're way at the front but some assholes camped overnight and froze their asses off so they deserve being here first

"Oh my God, oh my God, Jules— Jullian! Look up, holy shit, they're right there," Rosaline said, yanking at Jules' arm. He looked up, gasping a little and bouncing even more.

"Holy fuck, that's them, in person, holy fuck— Fuck, look at Austin, he's so hot- And Chris looks so good—" Jules breathed, grinning.

Andrew blinked, impressed as he noticed a girl wearing a dress that... was made of Nosam shirts? Shit. And next to her was— Andrew stopped, almost barreling into a fan, who did not seem to mind very much. According to the few pictures of Jules that Mason had shown him, the person next to that girl was either Jules or a convincing look-alike. Andrew looked to Mason, who was scanning in the opposite direction, and rolled his eyes. He elbowed Mason, "Dude, check out that dress."

Mason whipped his head in the direction Andrew was pointing, and his jaw dropped. It was a cool dress— very cool— but holy shit, it was Jules. Fuck. He started to move behind Andrew until he remembered Jules didn't know it was him. Right. Duh. His heart beat unnaturally loud in his ears as he stepped towards them. What if he was wrong and he wanted it to be Jules so badly that he'd convinced himself that's who he was looking at? Maybe Jules didn't even exist. No person could look that good.

They were coming their way. "Holy fuck and they're looking right at us aren't they? It's the glitter and your Nosam dress, you funky little designer!" Jules breathed it all, grinning wide and shaking Rosaline's shoulders.

Mason pulled Andrew along with him and puffed out a breath as he walked towards them, smiling, looking to the girl beside Jules, eyeing her dress in awe. "Hey, guys! You both look amazing. I think this is the most impressive gig outfit I've ever seen. How long did it take you to make that?"

Rosaline grinned, shrugging off her jacket so they could see it all. "Around twelve hours. It was hard as hell to put all of it together and cut the shirts. Totally worth it, though!"

Jules grinned, taking her hand and twirling her. "And the bottom is rainbow and glitter cause she's definitely not gay but an ally and as campy as a drag queen." Jules laughed a little, meeting Mason's eyes, then Andrew's. Mason's breath caught.

"Shut up, Jules," Rosaline said, shoving Jules jokingly. He lifted his hands by his shoulders.

Mason smiled happily as the smallest sliver of doubt dissipated when she said Jules. "I'm impressed. Really impressed. Right, Drew?"

Andrew had been distracted by another fan he was taking a picture with, but he turned, glancing at Jules and Rosaline a little awkwardly and nodding, smiling a bit.

Mason laughed at her words and at her sister shoving her. He took a couple of meet-and-greet passes from his pocket and offered them, grinning. "That dress is the best thing I've seen all tour, so I hope I'll see you at the meet and greet."

Jules's jaw dropped. "Holy fuck, no way!" He laughed, looking up at Mason in shock. "You're kidding me, right? Meet and greets?" He grinned, taking one when Rosaline took the other, too shocked to speak.

"Yes way!" Mason grinned wide at them.

"Holy fuck, you funky little designer!" Jules said, latching onto Rosaline and lifting her the way he always did to annoy her. "I knew that dress was good luck. You didn't fuckin' nick your finger once while making it."

He turned back to Mason after putting her down when she threatened to punch him, grinning still. "Thank you. Holy fuck, thank you. Y— We'll definitely be there. It's not like we have anything better to do than meet you guys."

Mason's cheeks hurt from smiling as Jules laughed and lifted the girl. "Don't sweat it. Completely understandable if you find something better to do. Although, I don't know what people in Michigan do. Skate on Lake Mich? Hockey?" he teased. "Just give them to someone else so they don't go to waste. Although I'll be bummed if I don't see you there," he said, meeting Jules' eyes for a second.

Jules froze a little at the hockey comment, blinking and forcing himself to breathe. He suddenly felt a lot colder than he was. Tugging his jacket tighter around him, he forced a smile and nodded. "Don't worry. We'll be there." He felt himself shaking a little and found it kind of hard to breathe. His hand found Rosaline's after a second.

"We'll definitely be there," Rosaline said, grinning at Mason. She squeezed Jules's hand, knowing exactly what was going on. It had happened before. She took the pass from Jules and stuffed it in her bag with her own, one hand still in Jules'.

Mason's smile disappeared for a moment at Jules' reaction. Oh, fuck. Did he say something wrong? He grinned again, turning to Jules' sister. "So, I hope you don't mind, but I just need a picture with you...?" he trailed off, hoping for a name.

"Rosaline," she said, grinning.

"Beautiful name," Mason smiled. Jules' twin sister seemed extremely cool.

"I—" Rosaline looked back at Jules, who nodded and let go of her hand. "Okay. Jules, do you wanna take it?"

Jules looked for a second, then nodded, taking out his phone. He still had the convo with Elías open. That gave him an idea. "Uh— this is kind of a weird question, but could you message my friend too after the picture? He'll lose his shit if he knows I met you." He grinned again at the thought of Elías's reaction.

Mason watched Jules fiddle around with the camera. He was maybe freaking out a little. He definitely said something wrong. Was it the flirting? Or did he offend her with the hockey jab?

His eyebrows rose in surprise as Jules mentioned her friend, and he nodded enthusiastically. "Of course."

Jules lifted his phone after opening the camera, taking a picture of Mason and Rosaline together. "Oh— oh, do you need it on your phone? Is it for security or something?"

"Uh, yeah," Mason took out his phone. "Actually, you should get in this too," he motioned for both of them to take a selfie with him and made a silly face, and then took another one with a smile.

Jules blushed a little at the way Mason looked at him. He stood behind Rosaline, crossing his eyes and opening his mouth, then simply grinning.

He handed his phone over to Mason afterward, then explained a little bit where the text was and everything. "Oh, his name is Elías. Accent on the 'I'. Please, for the love of all things holy, mention the username and embarrass the shit out of him. He deserves it for that."

"Gotcha," Mason took the phone carefully, wanting to laugh at how ridiculous this situation was. God, how was this gonna end? He pushed the thought aside and managed to laugh at the username.

familyjules: hey Elías! its nosam's Mason! i met your friend Jules today, im flattered you wanna fuck me, maybe we can meet up sometime? ;) x

He smiled in amusement as he showed Jules the message. "How's that?"

Jules took back the phone and grinned. "Perfect." He looked up and met Mason's eyes again. His smile was better, just still a bit forced. "Thank you. You're awesome."

"Anytime, Jules," he gave her a silly, lopsided grin eyes bright. "It was awesome to meet you guys."

He saw Austin walking by and waved him over, hopping a little. "Hey, Austin, check out this rad dress and these rad people."

Austin smiled over at them, although he was surrounded by people. "Very rad dress! Thanks for coming, guys," he gave them a thumbs up.

Jules froze again when Austin came over, for a completely different reason. He grinned, unable to speak.

Rosaline snapped in front of his face. "I— God, sorry. Jules is a mess right now." She elbowed him, but he was just staring at Austin. "Thank you for coming all the way up here. It's the only reason we could come. We tried to go to Detroit once, but our parents wouldn't let us go that far alone in just one day and night." She grinned at Austin.

"Y— You're Austin," Jules breathed.

"No problem," Austin smiled, "That's me. Jules, yeah? Would it be okay if I hugged you?" he glanced at Mason for a split second. Mason glared at him for the same amount of time. Asshole.

Austin's smile grew.

Jules nodded enthusiastically, holding up his arms and hugging Austin tight. Holy fuck, he was hugging Austin Salinas. And Mason Hill was right there. And he'd meet Chris later, and Andrew had smiled at him. This was the best day of his life. He closed his eyes and buried his face against Austin's shoulder, then realized that was weird and he was hugging too long and pulled away.

Austin grinned, laughing and hugging Jules just as tight for a second longer. "You're a good hugger."

Jules laughed. "So are you," he said after they pulled away.

That was an unnecessarily long hug.

Mason pouted, glancing at Rosaline. "Now I want a hug. Rosaline?" he grinned, holding out his arms.

Rosaline hugged him, grinning. She hugged him just a bit too long too, wishing she could have hugged Andrew but beyond happy to hug Mason.

Jules paused for a second, then hugged Mason, face against his chest. "Thank you."

Mason was surprised at the hug, frozen in place for a second before taking a deep breath and relaxing into it. He wrapped his arms around Jules and smiled contentedly. This is what a hug is, fuck every other one I've ever had.

Jules was a little too relaxed into the hug. It felt right for some reason. While Austin's hug was awesome, Mason's was warm and soft and felt incredible. Jules didn't want to let go.

Mason hugged Jules as long as he could without it being weird, and then let her go. "Alright, we should go set up. See you guys later!" he smiled. Austin said goodbye, giving Mason a mocking look, sighing wistfully at him.

"Shut up, Austin," Mason shoved at him, hands on his shoulders as they walked away.

"I didn't speak, Mason," Austin grinned, "She's really cute. I get why you've been annoying the shit out of us this whole time."

"Don't you have a girlfriend already, Sally?"

Jules smiled at them as they left, waving, then turned to Rosaline, tears in his eyes. "We just— Holy fuck, we just met Nosam and got meet and greet passes, Rosa."

Mason loved performing. He'd happily do it for the rest of his life, and that was the plan. He was addicted to the roar of the crowd, to the sound of thousands of people singing along with him, to their songs. It was always surreal, always like being in another world. It was a high. But this concert, he had been especially happy that he could see Jules at the front of the crowd the whole time, just as excited as everyone else was. Jules' proximity was especially wonderful after T-Shirt Song, because fuck, was Jules even hotter without a shirt. Who needed shirts? Nobody. That's what T-Shirt Song was all about (not really, but roll with it).

After the concert, Jules had a newfound love for Mason Hill. He'd loved him before, but not like this. On stage, he was hilarious and bounced around and was so theatrical... it was exactly how Jules wanted to be on stage. He demanded a presence, and made sure he got what he wanted. There was no doubt in anything he did, even if he did make a fool of himself at times and absolutely roasted himself. It was astounding. Mason had delivered everything Jules had hoped for and then some.

At Mason's insistence that everyone in the crowd had to, Jules had stripped off his shirt during T-Shirt Song, then threw it on stage after. Mason had made eye contact with him... a lot, actually, after that, especially during flirty songs. It was like he wanted to fuck or something, and Jules had informed Elías of this. But Elías wasn't replying, which made sense, since he'd said he'd be busy, but it made Jules a little sad.

They were in the back of the line for the meet-and-greet, sadly, but would definitely get to see them because of the passes. Jules wiped some glitter off his forehead while they waited, closer to the front now that the event was almost over, humming to himself. He was sweating after all the moving around, so he was just wearing a bra and his open flannel, bouncing on the balls of his feet next to an exhausted Rosaline. His throat hurt, and it was the best experience of his life. Rosa's throat hurt, and it was the worst experience of her life.

"Wimp," he teased, grinning at her. He coughed a little. "Oh. We're up."

When they were reaching the end of the meet & greet line, Mason grinned as he saw Jules and Rosaline. All of Nosam was shirtless, even Chris, who was rocking scars from his top surgery, still looking fairly pink after over a year. It was incredible how it had gone from cold as hell to hot as shit with all the moving around.

"Hey, Jules! Rosaline!" Mason shouted, waving them forward when the twins had gotten to the front of the meet & greet line.

"Good to see you guys again," Austin smiled at them as he ran his hand through sweaty, wavy hair and pushed his glasses up.

Andrew shot them an awkward smile through the Twizzler in his mouth. His hair was sticking to his forehead as he saluted the pair.

"How're you guys doing? You weren't kidding, that dress is wonderful," Chris stared at the dress, leaning against the table to get a closer look at the detail.

Jules grinned, dragging a tired and stunned Rosaline with him. He still had some post-concert adrenaline rushing through his veins.

"That was the best concert of my life," Jules said. "You guys are fucking awesome up there. Better than the videos I've seen online."

"Glad we made such a lasting impression," Mason teased, smirking at Jules.

"The best concert of my life was probably All Time Low," Austin muttered absentmindedly, yawning. Andrew snorted as he stuck a Twizzler in his open mouth. Austin choked on it, yanking it out of his mouth and tossing it back at him. Andrew laughed, catching it and putting it in his mouth.

Rosaline coughed before she spoke. "Thank you about the dress. And for the passes. This is amazing."

"Thank you!" Chris grinned big, "It was a long time coming. Was definitely a weight off my chest." He winked and finger-gunned them. "You're the amazing ones."

Jules laughed softly, then took a deep breath and looked at Chris. "I— Uh— Can I get a picture? Please?"

"Hell yeah," Chris got up and put an arm around Jules' shoulder for the picture, smiling.

Rosa did the same with Andrew, a little nervous. "Can—" She stopped for a second, taking a deep breath, then smiled sheepishly. "Can I get a picture with you, Andrew?"

"Yeah," Andrew replied, almost inaudible. He immediately got up, taking a picture with her and hugging her.

Rosaline hugged Andrew back happily, on the verge of tears. This was the best day of her life. He spoke to her. He actually spoke to her.

After they got their pictures, Jules grinned at Mason. "And can I get another picture with you? I don't have one on my phone of us, and no one will ever believe me if I don't get one." He handed his phone off to Rosaline, who took it gladly. "Also— Uh— Could you kiss my cheek? I've seen a lot of those online—"

Mason grinned happily as he took the pic with Jules, hand on her back. He smiled, laughing warmly when she asked for a cheek kiss. He kissed her cheek, pausing a moment with his lips on her face for the picture. He hugged her again afterwards, almost picking her up off the ground.

Jules grinned, hugging him back. He squeezed tight, then thanked Mason and took a picture with Austin.

After a few more minutes of awkward conversation about the concert and Rosaline's dress, it was announced that the meet & greet was over and they had to go. Jules pouted a little, but said bye, waving. He turned around only after a few backward steps, trying to come to terms with the fact that he'd just met Nosam twice in one day.

Mason watched Jules walk away, biting his lip and slowly leaning back in his chair, sighing in abject sadness. He was sad, and he was staring at Jules' ass, and he was thinking that it was completely unfair that even though, yes, he finally got to meet Jules, it was for such a short amount of time, and she didn't even know who he was. And, yeah, maybe he had also been staring at her ass the whole time she was walking away.

Austin thumped him on the head. "I can practically hear your thoughts right now and they're gross, Mason."

Mason only smirked.

When Mason had finally showered and eaten, he fell onto his bed. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about Jules. Which wasn't exactly new, honestly, but now it was like, multiplied times a thousand. He eagerly took out his phone.

masonfucker1000: holy shit !!! holy shit

masonfucker1000: i got a message from mason hill. you met him!

There was a knot forming in his stomach as he sent the message. The concert had affected this whole situation way too much. Mason had been stuck. It was a catch-22. He had to see Jules, but now that he'd met her everything was suddenly real, and horrifying and he was even more aware of how he was sort of catfishing, but like, next-level celebrity catfishing (that should totally be a show). And if he hadn't met her, he'd still be suffering dramatically and daydreaming about it, but at least it would have been simpler and he would have been ignorant.

Jules had passed out as soon as he got home, but woke up to messages from Elías. He grinned, rolling over in bed and rubbing at his eyes.

familyjules: FUCK YES I DID hold on i'll post the pics in the concert thread

familyjules: GUYS MY SISTER AND I WON THE M&G PASSES AND I HUGGED AUSTIN TWICE AND MASON TWICE AND GOT A SHIT TON OF PICTURES LOOK

Seven Photo Attachments

masonfucker1000: YOU GOT A CHEEK KISS? that is one hot man. and by that i mean mason. mason is one hot man. tell me the truth. who was the better hugger?

familyjules: okay look you know i love austin but mason's hug was so warm and soft i loved it. i made him hug me to compare for you and i preferred his (but don't tell austin i'm betraying him)

Mason kicked his legs, hollering. "In your face, Austin! I'm the better hugger!"

Austin rolled his eyes. "Jules is biased and doesn't even know it."

masonfucker1000: fuck yeah!!!! mason is the superior hugger! dude did u say earlier that he looked like he wanted to fuck

Mason could not fucking believe he had no self-control. She noticed that he was staring like a fucking idiot.

familyjules: yes i did he kept staring at me and he was singing all the flirty songs and looking directly at me and even kissed my hand once during one of them. i was shook. he's a flirt i knew that but it felt different. like he was trying to woo me

masonfucker1000: uhhhhh lucky bastard!!!!! you got a hand kiss and a cheek kiss! 2 hugs! lemme know when u guys fuck!!

Mason yawned, grinning as he posted the pictures with Jules and Rosaline on his Instagram. He cropped the one with him and Jules sticking out their tongues and made it his background, blushing as he stared at it.

Jules laughed again, yawning. He really wanted some more sleep.

familyjules: shut up that's not gonna happen and even if it did it would require us meeting again. i did find a new love for mason hill tonight, tho i'm not gonna nut for him all over the internet like you!

familyjules: i'm gonna get some more sleep, btw. my legs feel like they're jello

masonfucker1000: lies!!! youre definitely gonna nut for him!

masonfucker1000: aw, get some more sleep, darling jules! x

Jules smiled at the message, even though there was something a little weird about it.

familyjules: have a good day, darling elías 💙

Mason wanted to be happy about the message and the heart, but she'd called him Elias. He sighed, putting his phone aside and shutting his eyes in an attempt to sleep and not think about it, even though he suspected it wouldn't work.

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #lgbt fiction #trans fiction #lgbt stories #celebritystatus

[gingerwerk]

WIP Meme

Rules: List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on.

This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets - anything at all!

I was tagged by the lovely @ackackh :) thanks my dude

(so like, i am actually not on my bullshit for once and i haven’t actually started cooking up some new au in like, a year or two at this point. im actually just going through my idea folder and finally flushing out ideas from years ago now so like. ive probably mentioned all of these aus at some point recently but i still love them all so whatever)

1. ‘lest we fall into the dark’ aka my flowers and tattoos au

my current wip (you can read the first 8 chapters rn on ao3)

a pacific sledgefu fic. I’ve talked about it plenty on here but basically tattoo parlor/flower shop au where bill and eugene run a quiet little flowershop and one day that quiet is shattered when a bunch of loud, crazy people (snafu, burgie, jay, and flo) move into the vacant shop next door and start up a tattoo parlor. the story also focuses heavily on mental illness and military themes and personal growth and found families. also there’s a bunch of cute burgie and flo being the perfect couple so check it out

you can follow my weird vague posts about it here

2. DILF au

modern au winnix fic

ive been trying to get this fic up and running for real for lit years now but the timings never been quite right, but hopefully one day soon it’ll happen (almost did this one for the bob big bang last year...)

so the story follows the courtship of dick, your regular guy in his midtwenties just trying to figure out life, and nix, a single dad disaster whose honestly trying his best to take care of his son after years of hardcore fucking up. also key players in this story are harry, dick’s best friend whose constantly pestering him about his love life in between panicking about his soon to be born child, kitty, harry’s wife and calm presence dick desperately needs in his life, nix’s ex kathy, who after years of dealing with nix’s fuck ups (understandably) isn’t too fond of the idea of nix spending tons of time with their son, and james, nix’s little boy :) 

just some classic mid-twenties life stuggles and family drama with tons of dick bonding with a six year old

3. pre-series Tim solo fic

canon verse tim gutterson standalone fic

yet another fic ive been working on for lit years at this point.... 

a story about tim after the rangers but before the marshals and how he found his way to the marshals

literally this fic has become bigger than anything i ever expected to and now its this massive oneshot thats slowly but surely coming to an end (lmao maybe ill actually get it up sometime this year....)

4. my shitty high school au

justified modern hs au

literally the title sums it up. i started it as a joke idea and now im actually fully for it and i love it so much

focuses mostly on tim and rachel, who are best friends trying their best to get through all the insane bullshit everetts hs and harlan has to throw at them. they gotta deal their insane families, their relationships (or lack there of in tims case...) and the fact that they somehow got sucked into the epitome of harlan bullshit aka the givens-crowder-randolph love triangle and now have to wade their way through that swamp on top of everything else they were already dealing with.

focuses a lot on friendship and family issues 

sometimes i post exerts and weird bits in my tag here

tagging @cajunroe, @ingoldenlight, and @antiquecompass :)

also if anyone wants me to post more exerts or give more info on any of these fics feel free to hmu id be happy to share

#lmao all of these except the hs au have been in the making for lit years @me: when ya gonna stop fucking around and publish one of these #okay but like i am making progress because my big bang was an idea that was floating around for years too #so im just not being my usual self and jumping into too many projects for me to handle #maybe this is growing up.... #anyways writings dope and i love talking about my wips #kelly writes

[showingthroughtome]

1: june 3rd

“That was rude, Jess. I’m hurt.” He covers his heart with both hands, holding onto his peck through his tank top tightly. “I was going to invite you inside but I’m rethinking it now.”

“It is what it is.” Jessica shrugs like the excitement she felt fluttering in her stomach didn’t just churn into a tiny panic. “It’s not like I particularly wanted to watch you play Xbox anyway.”

“I had something else in mind.”

read below - story page - playlist - banner by @booksncoffee - word count: 929

Jessica stands at the end of her driveway like Marissa Cooper from The OC except way less rich and so much happier. Happier because her best friend/lifelong neighbor just pulled into his own driveway across the street and she knows his parents aren’t there. She’s only seen him twice since she has gotten home from college for the summer, but both instances have almost been exactly like old times… only almost like old times due to the fact that now when she sees him emerge from the car, she enjoys his smile in a way that she never has before. The dimples on his cheeks look deeper and better. His lips glisten like they are trying to attract her attention.

He stops at the edge of his yard, directly across from her, wearing a black tank top and knee length jean shorts with a backwards baseball cap taming his curls. Leaning on the big brick mailbox, he questions, “You waiting on someone?”

“I don’t know. My good friend Harry promised me last night that we’d do something fun today.” Jessica bites the inside of her cheeks to keep from smiling too wide. The memories of the previous night feel like a dream sequence as they flash in her mind, causing her jaw to tighten that much more.

“Sounds like a cool dude.”

“Not nearly.”

“Hey!” He immediately took offense, grimacing. “I am the coolest guy you’ve ever known.”

“Nah.” She shakes her head once and grazes her teeth against her bottom lip, trying her hardest to keep her eyes from wandering away from his. “Ben has always been way more fun.”

Ben was the other guy who sat at the table where she first met Harry Styles in fourth grade. It was pure consequence that the kids who lived across from each other, but never spoke, got put in the same classroom and perhaps it was serendipity that they were both assigned to table three.

Harry has never admitted it, but Jessica knows for the year they shared a learning space with the other 9-year-old, he compared himself to Ben. That’s why for the last ten years, she has brought him up at Harry’s expense any chance she’s gotten.

“That was rude, Jess. I’m hurt.” He covers his heart with both hands, holding onto his peck through his tank top tightly. “I was going to invite you inside but I’m rethinking it now.”

“It is what it is.” Jessica shrugs like the excitement she felt fluttering in her stomach didn’t just churn into a tiny panic. “It’s not like I particularly wanted to watch you play Xbox anyway.”

“I had something else in mind.”

An actual lump forms in her throat as she tries to swallow and come up with something witty to respond with.  She lets her eyes drift down his toned arm, covered with the tattoos he only gained once he went away and kissed by the sun thanks to the tan they got on their first day by the pool together.

It felt like her pause was a few minutes too long, but it really was just seconds before she thought to say, “Like what?”

Again, her thoughts wander back to the night before - alone in his basement, no lights on but the glow from the movie credits illuminating their faces. They sat closer than they ever had and spent more time stealing glances at one another than watching whatever rom com he had insisted on.

“Maybe another movie?” Harry’s lip split his face in half, smug at the way those simple words get Jessica to lower her eyes to the ground and kick at the gravel crunching underneath her. There’s no doubt that he is also thinking of the one moment in particular that she is hoping to recreate, and with the feel of him still fresh in her mind, there’s no way she’ll object his suggestion.

She lets him peer at her for a second, hopeful that he’ll admire the way her dress hugs her in all the right places and exposes her skin at even better ones. When she feels he’s looked long enough, she squares her shoulders and propositions, “I get to pick the movie this time?”

His hand is ruffling through his hair and his mouth is opening when a familiar car drives between them, pulling in behind Harry’s Camry. With the dramatics she feels in her soul, Harry sighs and hangs his head.

“Hiya.” His mom calls over to them as soon as she is out of the vehicle, her husband popping out of the passenger side.

It doesn’t occur to Jessica that she’s still standing on the other side of the street until Anne gives her a weird look. “Are you coming over, sweetheart? Or have you finally learned to keep your distance from this crazy one?”

“I’ve been trying to warn her for years.” Robin opens the trunk and begins unloading the grocery bags, displaying husband goals to the fullest extent.

“Are you guys making dinner?” Jessica ignores the teasing for her best friend and focuses on something way more exciting than Harry.

“Of course. We’re doing ultimate grilled cheeses.” Anne nods at the same time that Harry shakes his head, smiling, full of disbelief that someone could be so shameless in bumming food off people.

“Oh, well then, of course I’m coming over.” She tosses her blonde hair over her shoulder and walks the nine steps it takes her to get across the street, the prospect of melted cheese and Harry running high on her mind.

authors note: 

so this is the new thing ive been working on. i came up with the idea while listening to summer friends by chance. (go listen to the very diverse playlist for this fic) its not so much about growing up in chicago like chance obviously but more about the vibe it gives me - extraordinary in totally ordinary settings. 

i hope you like it! i hope you dont mind that im posting one scene at a time. i hope i achieved my goal of making less than 1k kind of fulfilling. if this goes over well, ill probably post another one in a few days. if not, ill be posting next wednesday along with another update of somewhere in between (my other friends to lovers lol, but much much longer chapters)

please let me know what you think!!! PLEASE!!! jessica? harry? what happened in the basement?? tell me!

thank you to ash @what-comes-from-within for editing this! she is seriously amazing and this story wouldnt be what it is without her!!!

thank you!!!

- lauren xxx

#1dff #i am nervous #i am gonna ghost for an hour or two #dont hate how short these chapters are! #incredible chapters

[starbitstudies-blog]

92 questions

tagged by @stevenstudies​ thank you!!!

rules: answer these 92 questions and then tag 20 people!

last:

1. drink: water

2. phone call: uhh i don’t remember i don’t really call ppl aaa 

3. text message: something about hating when people think a bad character = a bad person because that’s not the case!!! or that one bad action done by a character makes them horrible!! 

4. song you listened to: well i’m currently listening to lollia’s cover of “cymatics” by techniken!

5. time you cried: i think two or three days ago!! 

have you:

6. dated someone twice: nope!

7. kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone so nope!

8. been cheated on: fortunately, with me having not dated anyone, that’s not possible. hopefully this answers stays ‘no’

9. lost someone special: our family dog died a while back... i mean also my father left a long time ago but tHAT’S HEAVY SO UHH

10. been depressed: yeah, since it’s likely i have depression

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nah

list three favorite colors:

12. PERIWINKLE!

13. pastel pink

14. cyan!!!

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: yeah!! a few tbh

16. fallen out of love: idk i don’t think i’ve been in love hahhaha, 

17. laughed until you cried: TWO NIGHTS AGO

18. found out someone was talking about you: ye

19. met someone who changed you: people here (positively) and people at school... also people on other sites (both pos and neg)

20. found out who your friends are: yes i think?

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: whats facebook? (jk but no)

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i deleted my facebook sorry pals

23. do you know any pets: we have so many u dont even know

24. do you want to change your name: PLEASE can i change it to zia?

25. what did you do for your last birthday: i played video games, helped babysit my nephew for a few hrs, then ate chinese

26. what time did you wake up: technically like 7 but i got out of bed at 8

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: i think on tumblr

28. name something you cant wait for: MY OWN LAPTOP TBH

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: right now

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: PRACTICE ART MORE AS A KID!!! UR NOT GONNA WANNA BE A WRITER WHEN UR OLD ZIA NO FOCUS ON ART

31. what are you listening to right now: all we know (chainsmokers) this is after the last music post bc time has passed rip

32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: my ex-best friend’s dad! (we’re still friends but not close anymore, because we don’t live close to each other anymore)

33. something that is getting on your nerves: myself

34. most visited websites: tumblr, twitter or insta probably. maybe even yesstyle because GOSH i love clothes more than i ever knew

more random info:

35. mole/s: face moles that’s all i know of 

36. mark/s: idk dood

37. childhood dream: i once dream i was at like a disco thing and then there was water and i was DROWNING my dreams were and are weird.

38. hair color: black! (but i wanna go for blue-black or black w blue on the bottom and tips really soon!!)

39. long or short hair: LOOKS SHORT (bc super tight curls) but it’s really medium length

40. do you have a crush on someone: i mean kinda but its like a ‘admiration’ crush bc i don’t know them at all so i’m disregarding it.

41. what do you like about yourself: sometimes my eyes look ok uh

42. piercings: just ears!

43. blood type: idk dood 

44. nickname: bob the builder can he fix it yes!!! he!!! can!!! 

45. relationship status: single and too focused on college apps to want to mingle.

46. zodiac: aquarius

47. pronouns: ANYYY but most refer to me by she/her by default so!! 

48. favorite tv show: rwby!! but i love a good spongebob for giggles

49. tattoos: ehhh .... not unless its hidden good im too worried about jobs 

50. right or left hand: right (trying to learn to write w my left hand as well)

51. surgery: never have, maybe someday i will, who knows

52. dyed hair: a few times, purple streaks, purple on the bottom and tips, a few times black.

53. sport: i used to play volleyball but uhh bye

54. subtitles or dubbed version: when it comes to anime either way!! i’ve never rlly watched anything else w subs i dont think

55. vacation: nothing nada 

56. toenail color: plain plain plain

more general:

57. eating: i had some harvest snaps and non dairy ice cream thank u ben and jerrys

58. drinking: water

59. im about to: think about my life

60. ive been putting off: my entire life

61. waiting for: SCHOOL i miss the routine and i hate this anticipation stop it summer stop i

62. want: more stationery and CLOTHES FROM YESSTYLE OR H&M OR SHEIN 

63. get married: maaaybe???

64. career: VIDEO GAME ARTIST PLEASE or animator

65. hugs or kisses: hugs?

66. lips or eyes: eyes

67. shorter or taller: uhhh 

68. older or younger: UHHHH

69. can you wiggle your ears without touching them: no im  a weenie loser 

70. nice arms or nice stomach: ARMS ARMS ARMS A

71. sensitive or loud: depending on the situation..

72. hookup or relationship: relationship!

73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

74. kissed a stranger: nah

75. drank hard liquor: whats a hard liquoryall

76. lost glasses: yes im HORRIBLE ive also broke them mmm boi some spicy troublemakin

77. turned someone down: ONCE AND IM STILL SHOOK I FEEL SO BAD PLEASE DONT EVER DO THIS TO ME AGAIN @ GOD !!! 

78. sex on the first date: oh no sirree

79. broken someones heart: i mean KINDA?? idk

80. had your heart broken: proBABLY IDK

81. been arrested: nope

82. cried when someone died: yes

83. fallen for a friend: HJFKSHFKJDHSKFHDSKJF

do you believe in:

84. yourself: NOT ENOUGH

85. miracles: YE

86. love at first sight: NOT RLLY LOVE but like a crush yes???

87. santa claus: I DONT THINK I EVER HAVE

88. kiss on the first date: mmmmaybe if u know them

89. faeries: MMAYB

other:

90. current best friend name: KHALO AND BRANDON AND VAAN!!!

91. eye color: dark brown but they look like the void yo

92. favorite movie: MOANA ATM!!!!!

ANYBODY I TAG U ALL AND DON’T FORGET TO TAG ME I WANNA KNOW U GUYS!!!

#zia.doc #tagged