#its like. nothing can be done and i tried to bond with new cats u know? but i just saw how they werent him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

delicrieux · 3 years

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☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 13: ...O-OH?

it’s the night of the big stream. y/n uncovers a strange, albeit deep, bond with charlie. corpse interrupts her garden date with sykkuno quite unceremoniously. tensions are high as ever; proximity chat reveals internal monologues and stray thoughts. y/n’s “batshit insane” energy affects everyone. this is, quite literally, the best game of among us bretman has ever played.

─── corpse husband x reader, sykkuno x reader (if you squint, it’s very one sided) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 6.1k oops ─── ❥ reqs: sum people requested some interaction w bretman + jealous corpse + flirty sykkuno

author’s note: guys....GUYS WE’RE ON THE 3RD “OH” hope ur excited cus i am!!! this was rly fun to write, but then again, everything is better than writing an essay lmao! this is extremely chaotic and a bit seggsy but like a minuscule bit u wont even notice it i swear xx there’s not much social media in this one, mostly written lol. as always lmk wat u think n thank u for all ur kind words n sooo manyyyy ideassss!!! love u lots

ultimate masterlist. ҉ myso masterlist ҉ previous. ҉ next.

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It’s happening, you think, picking the discreet, angelic white color for your astronaut - with a halo and all, truly, you are a seraph that stepped through the gates of heaven and descended onto earth to grace these morals with your presence...quite literally, you’re not only donning white in game, but also in real life, cute as a button or more like as a bunny. Cat girls are overrated - cat boys, on the other hand, you’ll ardently defend till your last breath - but bunny girls...Safe to say, your chat had been going feral. Your endless ego is fed well. You even swore on your heart that no devilish trickery would follow in this game - you had left your snake ways behind you.

No one believed you. The Roaches know you too fucking well.

The influx of new subs, however, do not. Look at this cute girl! She wouldn’t hurt a fly! You chuckle at the compliments. At the exact same moment, Rae pipes up on the discord call, “Y/n is leering and cackling evilly. No one trust her.”

Demon woman herself must be watching your stream before starting her own. You pout, all adorable and innocent, but your eyes gleam slyly. Truly, a mastermind of manipulation! Look at you go! The chat is swooning. The viewer number steadily climbs past 16K and you hum happily, welcoming all that decided to join your little clan, “Don’t listen to Rae. Wifey is mad because I said I’m not bringing her back a souvenir. Well guess what, bitch, I’m the gift.”

Your perfect image does not quite align with your tone, nor the affectionate nickname you call your roommate (bitch, not wifey). The new viewers are none the wiser though, just like your new stream mates.

There is laughter from people you don’t quite know. The lobby is almost full, but not everyone has trickled in yet.

“Filing divorce papers right now.” Rae mumbles, but you hear the smile in her voice. It makes you crack a grin, too.

More hello’s and shy introductions to the people in the lobby. Sykkuno’s green astronaut pops in with a upbeat, “Hey, everyone! Hi, Y/n!” as his character circles around yours. A collective awww echoes in your stream chat as you, quite breathless at the wholesomeness, reply with a “Hi! Hi hi!” as well.

Corpse is next to join, mysteriously ominous. The discord call is pure chaos, everyone screaming over the other variations of his name while stressing different syllables. Silent as a grave, he just stands there, his black astronaut seemingly eyeing everyone in the lobby.

Alas, when the noise dies down, he utters, “Whaddup, baby.” and it’s pandemonium all over again. You are screeching/laughing along with the rest. His astronaut swiftly glides to Sykkuno, still circling around you, “Hey, Sykkuno.” He says. The latter abruptly stops. The game hasn’t even started, and already - betrayal! Sykkuno starts circling around Corpse now, leaving you in the dust.

“Hey, dude!”

“Yo,” You interrupt, “I’m like here too, yeah?”

“Fight, fight, fight!” Pokimane jeers. You can’t see her, but you’re certain she’s pumping her fists in the air.

“Let’s leave the bloodshed for the game, yeah?” Dream offers past her laugh ridden urging.

“No, fuck that, let’s start this shit right now,” Charlie declares - his monotone is strangely pleasant to the ear, and you lean back in your chair with a thoughtful hum. Something about his energy just clicks with yours instantly, but perhaps you’re judging too quickly- “Got my fucking knife ready to slit some throats. You can all pretend you aren’t ready to kill on sight, but that’s not me. I’ll teabag your dead fucking body.”

-yeah, no, your initial estimate had been correct! What a pleasant surprise, you feel like you and he will get along beautifully.

“Way to be subtle, Charles.” Rae snorts.

“Subtle doesn’t make an interesting game, Rae,” He’s quick to bite back, “and if I’m Impostor, you bet your fucking ass I’m going after you first.”

“Noooooo!” She shrieks, rushing to your astronaut, which is still just standing there, abandoned, like the equivalent of that one emoji, “Y/n, protect me.”

“Of course, baby.” You purr.

There’s mumbling in the discord call, though it’s barely audible. Corpse seems to be repeating the word to himself: Baby...Baby?...Baby...

“You’re gonna stab me in the back the first chance you get, won’t you?” She questions, already painfully aware of the answer.

“You know it!”

“Finally, someone that’s not fucking cowering in their boots and flaunting their real nature.” Charlie says, “Y/n, form a Big Dick Alliance with me.”

“Oh for sure, man.” You agree immediately, trailing to his in game figure, “Let’s show these virgins how it’s done.”

“This is going to be a mess, isn’t it?” Sean’s voice rings with a cheerful laugh, making you flustered. Yes, you’re actually playing with THE JacksepticeyeTM. You still haven’t fully wrapped your head around that part, “I’m very excited to see where this will go.”

“Nowhere good.” You say with unparalleled sincerity - every word you speak to him, the icon, the legend, the one of the few youtubers you actually actively follow, must be genuine. You doubt you can lie to him. He’s too good of a person. You admire him too much. Stuck between wanting to be a shady bitch and an absolute saint, you refrain from addressing him more - you are simply not worthy.

its the y/n trying to act like a normal person in front of jack for me

ikr she looks ready to join the monastery

each day we stray closer to gods light???

Your viewers are snide as always. Gosh, you love them.

The last player pops in, fashionably late, “Hey, y’all.”

“Hey, Bretman!” The call choruses somewhat harmoniously.

“Hi, daddy.” He’s speaking to Corpse now, a smile in his voice - you can hear it even past the static of his atrocious mic. Your eyes widen, eyebrows shooting up. Your friends are cackling, but confusion refrains you from doing the same - were you not the only one Corpse offered, seemingly so long ago!, to be his sugar baby?

One betrayal after the other. You’re glad for the Big Dick Alliance. The name has a nice right to it, too.

Corpse laughs, “...Hey, Bretman. How are you today?”

Damn, two sentences for him, but not even a word spoken to you!? You’re already scripting a very melodramatic paragraph you will text him after the stream. With poorly masked discontent, you mutter, “Wow, thanks for such a warm welcome, Corpse, my day’s going great, yeah, loving the company.”

“Now now miss girl,” Bretman chimes, “we can’t be all daddy’s favorite.”

“Careful,” Charlie drones, “I think you just got yourself onto Y/n’s shit list.”

“Right next to Corpse Husband and Valkyrae.” You agree, “Sykkuno!” You suddenly call him.

“Uhm-Uh-Yes?” Is his nervous reply.

“You’re safe.” You state coldly, “For now.”

“You are not going after Sykkuno on my watch.” It must be a belated holiday miracle because Corpse finally decides to address you. His words seem to awake something in him, “Hey-Hey-Hey-” He swiftly glides to you, standing right next to your minute virtuous angel, “When are you coming back to Cali?”

corpse stop acting weird challenge

literally omg lmao

he does bring up a good point y/n y u not in cali yet?!

^pack it up corpse simp he disrespected the queen when he didnt say hi

“Back off, buddy,” Charlie interjects, “this spot is for Big Dick Alliance members only.”

“I’m never returning.” You inform him, your voice cold like the Arctic snow, and the look in your eyes is no kinder. You feel like you’re having a stare down through screen.

Silence stretches. Is this an intimidation tactic? Because if it is, it’s a paltry one. Your conviction to be petty is stronger than any vulnerability you might feel.

“Then I have nothing to say to you.” He admits and fucks right off with that. Fine, go join Sykkuno and Rae in their little corner of betrayal! Friendship ended with Corpse, now Charlie is your best friend.

“Okay, guys, guys, guys-” Toast, noting this is going to spiral any minute now, tries to catch their attention, “Let’s start?!”

You look into your camera, and the roaches know what you’re thinking. You’re twins like that, communicating telepathically. You are taking back your tender promise of not being a conniving bastard. It’s fucking on. You will destroy everyone in your path, starting with the guy you have a stupid crush on - maybe?! Feelings are confusing, you’d rather just not think point blank period.

With no objections from the cast, the counter ticks away seconds and, for the first round, you’re stuck as CREW MATE.

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Charlie is a gift. Truly, you had not expected such a sudden, wonderful relationship to bloom. How have you not known of him sooner?! It’s a crime that you hadn’t spoken to him earlier. You are a 100% certain if you had found him before you started streaming, he would’ve been a big inspiration.

The two of you do your silly little tasks and curse like sailors, commenting about this and that thanks to proximity chat. You wouldn’t have been able to stand the claustrophobic silence if it was just a normal Among Us game - to think, missing out on all his foully worded quips! It almost springs a tear into your eye. He’s just as unhinged as you.

worried about this dynamic

its a trainwreck lol i love it plz collab more plz

Caught in a headed discussion in Electrical - TikTok trends, or audios specifically - you defend the app the best you can. Charlie thinks it’s super cringe, and you insist it’s part of the charm as you connect wires.

“I mean, have...-do you know that one audio, the one that goes, like,” You’re spilling your words, heated, frustrated that he’s so dismissive of the app that literally saved 2020, “it goes like, uhm,” You clear your throat, prep your voice - even take a sip of your favorite drink. Drawing the syllables, you try your best to make it drop an octave - it must sound like you’re doing an atrociously bad and nauseatingly scratchy Corpse impression with an extra dramatic flair, “My assssssss, your cockkk, you do the mathhh.”

“Did-Did I just-” You freeze hearing Corpse’s voice, finally done with your task. Charlie is muffling his laughter behind his palm; Corpse’s astronaut stands in the doorway, “What the fuck did I just walk into?” He seems genuinely confused, though a strangely winded. You’re mortified. Your shoulders are shaking. You look at the stream chat but it’s going too fast for you to follow. Manic laughter bubbles in your chest and you squeeze your eyes shut, mouth split into a toothy grin, lowering your head and trying to hide the blush dusting your cheeks.

“Hey? Guys? What the fuck are you talking about?” He questions again.

“Honestly?” Charlie chimes, “No fucking clue. TikTok, I think. Ask Y/n.”

You can’t reply. You’re crying. You cover your face with your palms, muttering a soft oh my god before bursting into a full blow laugh, throwing your head back, the motion accidentally knocking your headphones off.

“Y/n.” Corpse calls you, “Fuck was that?”

You’re howling. Your stomach hurts. There are literal tears in your eyes. You think Charlie might be laughing too, but you can’t really tell over your loud screeching. Hastily fixing your headphones, you wipe away the tears stuck to your lower lashes, heaving, “S-Sorry, I-” You stutter, breaking into another fit of giggles. Corpse patiently waits you to calm down. Catching your breath, you start again with a sniffle, “TikTok, yeah.” You idly fix your hair, trying to bite down a smile, “It’s an audio.”

“What- What kind of videos are you watching?”

“The good kind.” Your reply is instant, merciless, “Also, why are you here? We’re having a BDA meeting, you know.”

“I-I...” He trails off, “I...I heard people talking and...I just came here to check it out, but...I’m regretting it.” There’s a lilt in his voice, and you know he doesn’t regret jack shit. You bet he’s smiling. You wish you could see it.

“Bitch, then leave!” You huff. You aren’t sure what is with him today, and you don’t want to stick around and find out - his playfulness makes your stomach flip at the most inappropriate times! Like when you’re trying to sound threatening. You must retreat posthaste, “No, wait, I’ll do it for you.” You say, brushing past his character. Charlie follows after you.

“Dude, you’re so fucking lucky neither of us are the Impostor because you’d be deader than I’ve been feeling since I was 10.” Your favorite companion comments. Charlie is truly a modern wordsmith. You’re pretty sure you adore him, because you’re nodding your head, so quick to agree with him that even you’re surprised.

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A meeting is called. You spare a glance at your fallen crew mates. They will be missed. Sean most of all, God, why does heaven always take the good ones?! The game feels emptier without him, even if you really only passed him once on your trek to Cafeteria with Charlie.

You may or may not have been avoiding him, afraid you’d accidentally say something horrible and he would hate you. It’s a silly fear, though a deep one. And with Charlie keeping you company, you had not uttered a single objectively good, or even coherent, sentence. Your parents can’t watch this stream once it’s uploaded onto your Youtube channel. They know you’re barely keeping it together in most of your videos, but here, now? Yeah, no. Charlie is already hard to listen to on his own for sensitive viewers, and hearing you agree with literally everything he says with your own chaotic ideas? Your dad would stumble into an early grave.

Mom probably wouldn’t mind too much, but you’d have to explain your relationship status again. She is under the assumption that everyone you collab with is your significant other. You’d say it began with Sykkuno, though the exclamation of “Finally! My daughter isn’t pathetically single! We need to celebrate.” had started with Rae. Truly, a scandal.

Speaking of which, Sykkuno is gone, too, but you had time to mourn him already. You found his body roughly ten minutes ago; so torn with the fresh agony of heartbreak, you could not do anything else but cry. It was Charlie, bless his heart, that reported it.

“Someone killed Jack,” You say, voice dripping with venom, “court is now in session. I’m ready to vote the fucker out.”

People speak all at once. Toast roars over them, “ORDER! ODER IN COURT!” as he slams his hand onto his desk repeatedly. That seems to work, though briefly.

“I think it’s Y/n.” Corpse says. You stare at him, hand gripping your heart, mouth falling open in surprise.

flame him

corpse boutta be a corpse fr

beat his ass queen!!!!!

“Pardon my french,” You grumble, “but nani the fuck?!”

“It’s definitely Y/n, I found her and Charlie conspiring in Electrical. Surrealist experience of my fucking life, but it’s definitely her.”

“Dude, we’ve been over this,” Charlie sighs, shushing Rae who was about to comment something - knowing your luck, it was probably in favor of the man throwing you under the bus, “we would’ve snapped your fucking neck the moment you walked in. But we didn’t.”

“Yeah, we didn’t.” Corpse notes, “I said nothing about you, I’m just saying it’s definitely her. She probably didn’t kill in front of you because of your stupid alliance-”

“Someone sounds salty because he wasn’t invited.” Pokimane snickers.

“-or possibly she did tell you and you won’t betray her for the exact same reason.”

“That’s some big brain logic you pulled there, genius,” Charlie says, absolutely unimpressed, “sure you didn’t have an aneurysm trying to connect all of that together?”

“Well,” Rae pipes up, “Y/n and Charlie did say they will kill right before the game started. If you ask me, it’s not unbelievable. And Sykkuno was sorta on the shit list.”

“I’m writing down your name twice, Rachell.” You spit.

“Not helping your case at all, Y/n...” Dream worries, “And Rae makes a good point. Charlie and you have professed desire for murder. I’m just saying! It’s a bit suspicious, you know?”

The next words to leave Corpse’s lips sound incredibly smug, “See?” He drawls. The pressure is getting to you - you don’t understand where this beguiling talent of his to convince literally everyone comes from, but it doesn’t inspire any confidence. Your fist suddenly feels incredibly lonely, so useless - oh, how you long to swing at him, “It’s definitely Y/n.”

“I dunno...” Toast mumbles.

“It’s Y/n.”

“Corpse-” You try, but he's ignoring you - shocker, as if he hadn’t been doing that from the very start of this stupid game - and chanting your name like it’s a fucking mantra or something, a smile in his voice, knowing, relishing in the fact that he’s grating on your nerves, “FIRST OF ALL,” You scream into the mic, successfully cutting him off; catching your breath, you exhale, and continue, calmly, lowly, “get my pretty name out of your mouth.”

There’s a pause full of tense silence.

Then, there’s a sound, seemingly stuck in the back of his throat, “...O-Oh...?”

“Second of all,” You continue, words like honey dipped in arsenic, “This is the clearest smear campaign I have ever witnessed. By how hard you’re trying to frame me for fuck knows what reason, I’m led to believe it’s you that killed them. You’re the Impostor.”

“Corpse wouldn’t kill Sykkuno, though.” Rae comments, skeptical.

“Then the other Impostor did it.” You counter.

“Maybe you’re both Impostors.” Pokimane chirps.

“Y/n would never betray the Big Dick Alliance like that.” Charlie states.

You grin, “Charlie, I literally love you.”

“Wait hold up now,” Corpse seems to get his bearings together, “what’s this about love I’m hearing?”

“I have none for you, dick.” You snap, flipping him off. Your chat cheers. While he can’t see it, you hope he senses it through the screen, “I officially hate you.”

“No, wait-”

“Boo, Corpse, you suck.” Toast laughs.

“Y/n, please-”

“Let’s all vote for Corpse Husband, okay?” You say it like it’s his full official name with an encouraging smile and multiple soft nods. Sykkuno can’t be here to nod, so you’ll do it for him. You eye the rapidly decreasing timer before clicking on Corpse’s figure and voting for him. The VOTED icon instantly pops up beside your adorable astronaut.

“Baby, I-” It slips past his lips so easily, as if he’s not even thinking about it, like it’s only natural to call you that and a spike of anxiety shoots up, making you glare. It’s only halfhearted. You try your best to ignore the rapid and uncoordinated pulses of your heart. Replace unwanted feelings with anger and hate - works like a charm, every time.

“You are not allowed to call me that.” You hiss. The chat spams snake emojis.

“Wait-” Bretman chimes, “Hold up, y’all, slow down a minute. Why does Corpse never call me baby?”

“Yeah!” Pokimane agrees, “I want to be baby, too!”

Pokimane may not have been called baby, but you just single-handedly decided her nickname for her - Target 4. Welcome to the shit list, she is officially your public enemy number 1. You aren’t sure why the thought of Corpse ever referring to anyone else as baby makes you sick to your stomach (you actually do know why, but brain no think at the moment), but you wish this whole conversation never happened. You don’t like it.

20 seconds left. More VOTED icons appear by your friends. Corpse is the last one to cast his ballot at, you assume, you, as the rest wait for his quick explanation before everyone (or not) returns to the game, “...Because she’s my baby.”

Goodbye. Life had been sweet, and there was sorrow, though the amount of embarrassment you feel now is worse than when the internet found your cringe worthy high school pictures on your mom’s Facebook. It’s a mixture of dread and excitement - the pleasure of being noticed, cherished even, though anxious from vulnerability. Someone is screaming a very prolonged “WHAAAAT?!”, or maybe multiple people are, you aren’t sure, your ears start to hurt from the loud, conflicting cacophony of voices as you stare blankly at the screen. You received two votes, just like Corpse, Charlie got one, the rest skipped. With no one flung out, you all find yourself back in Cafeteria again.

Baby. My baby? My baby. My baby. The sentence is playing ping-pong in your mind, reverberating louder each time. You’re actually speechless for the first time in your life; your chest hurts, your heart beating so fast your hands start shaking. Had he meant it? Or was this a some joke? Was he trying to get a rise out of you again? You might just go insane from so many questions. My baby. Holy shit, this is a heart attack, this is what a heart attack feels like, dear God, you figured you at least had ten years before you get one!

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First round ends with IMPOSTORS raining victorious. Your sixth sense had been working wonders since, true to you previous estimate, it had been Corpse. His companion was Pokimane. For absolutely no reason what’s so ever, you change her name once more from Target 4 to Target 1. Normally, you’re all for girls supporting girls. Men don’t deserve anything, really, but now you’re so flustered and still reeling from what you are 80% sure was cardiac arrest that you genuinely don’t care about your established morals.

Round two starts without much deliberation. You get CREW MATE again; the game must sense your growing bloodlust, making sure that once you do get IMPOSTOR, you will not hold back. True power is granted to those who are ready and strong enough to wield it. You wait for your moment with bated breath.

Charlie is taken from you too early. The two of you were once again caught in a discussion - God knows about what, Minecraft, hentai, oh! your server! - as you tried to card swipe for the umpteenth time. The lights blew out and you just knew one of you was getting murdered there and then. Charlie’s voice abruptly cut off, and you think a part of you died with him.

It’s a cold meeting; with your new best friend being the first to go, everyone decides to skip. You proclaim you seek vengeance. When the meeting comes to an end, Sykkuno is the first to offer his condolences.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.” He says, and while he’s not in Brooklyn, you somehow feel him patting your back. You feign a sniffle.

“There’s nothing to apologize for...” You murmur sadly, “Unless...” Your voice turns sharp as the knife that was surely twisted into Charlie’s back, “It was you?”

“NO!” He exclaims, “I would never-you gotta believe me! I would never kill him. I know he’s important to you. I wouldn’t do that, I swear.”

“He was like a brother to me.” You admit, solemn, “Charlie, if you’re haunting me right now, know I will avenge you. I will not let this go.”

Sykkuno hums, circling around you, “Hey, I have a task in Greenhouse. Would you, uh--Would like to, uhm, join me?” Despite the shaky start, he finishes on a firm, pleasant note. He’s trying to cheer you up. Having lost your closest friend, he’s offering you his company. You accept with a soft smile and a cute “Yes, please!” and he releases an airy little laugh. The two of you make your way to your favorite place in map MIRA.

It’s difficult to stay sad for long when Sykkuno’s so sweet; the atmosphere of the Greenhouse is strangely calming; your problems seem to be left behind the shut doors. If you tried hard enough, you could imagine being in an actual Greenhouse - the warm, damp air clinging to your skin, the unmistakable smell of earth and vegetation, the pleasant silence broken only by yours and his hushed voices and clumsy footsteps.

The two of you are talking. Mainly about your choice of attire. Cat first, Sykkuno ponders aloud, doing his task as you watch the plants grow, now bunny, what’s next? You affirm that you will most likely dress up in cow-print next, or as an adorable sheep. He laughs, admitting you’ll look good in anything before he trails off. His awkwardness is really endearing.

“Or!” You chirp happily, content with being locked away with him for the whole game. The idea must be playing in his mind, too, because he seems in no rush to leave, “I could, like, dress as someone from My Hero Academia. I watched the stream you did with Stella, the one where she made you look like Todoroki. It was really cute. You were really cute.”

“Oh, uhm-well, uh, thank you, thanks, I, uhm-” He clears his throat, and despite his stutter, you hear the smile in his voice, “I-I think you’d look better, though. Not as Todoroki. Or, probably as Todoroki, too. But, uhm, what character are you thinking about?”

“Maybe Momo?”

“Momo!” He yeps, “Momo is good. Yeah, she’s great. You’ll-uhm-you’ll look amazing. Really. Momo is awesome. Very pretty. Just like you.”

You are blushing. A stupid, toothy grin makes your cheeks hurt. Your eyes flicker to the chat, but again, it’s going wild. Giggling, you thank him for his sweet words, so giddy it’s honestly embarrassing. Why can’t you stop smiling? This is incriminating. You hide your lips behind your palm.

“...What’s this?” Corpse question. You had failed to note his sudden appearance, too busy gushing. “Am I interrupting?”

“Hey, Corpse!” Sykkuno greets. For someone so awkward and shy, he sure is good at hiding it when he wants to. Perhaps it’s all an act and you had been deviously tricked! Probably not, but you can’t help but narrow your eyes suspiciously, finally able to calm down. You definitely underestimated him, you just haven’t figured out how yet, “Not really! Y/n was sad Charlie died so I took her here.”

“You interrupted our date, dipshit.” You deadpan.

“...Fuck you say?” Corpse dares, his voice low and somewhat menacing - for someone who exclusively portrays his emotions through only his voice, he’s incredibly hard to read. This is payback. Your love for wreaking havoc resurfaces suddenly. Serves him right for pulling all this ignoring shit at the start. Maybe you’ll make him say oh again.

Your sly smirk is promptly wiped. Fuck. He said oh, he literally said oh out loud. The Teruhashi fangirl in you is screaming. You had been so caught up in defending yourself you didn’t even register it at first. Alarmed, you look at the camera, then at the chat. First oh, then my baby. There’s no way he had been teasing you, and this proves it. Holy shit. You mouth the words “HE SAID OH!” for your audience only.

now she notices

snail pace baby we’ve been loosing our shit for the past hour

corpse x y/n saikik au enemies to lovers 500k words slow burn im here for it

opening wattpad rn^

Your heart races in your chest - it might be considered an Olympic medalist at this point; flustered yet again, you wish you could cave into yourself. You should’ve brought your bright blue wig with you to Brooklyn. Turns out it would have been perfect for this stream. Yes, yes thinking about unnecessary details always works in distracting you from the butterflies throwing a fucking rave in your stomach.

“I guess it is a date!” Sykkuno admits, “Kinda after a funeral, but still.”

Corpse hums. You’re still too stunned to say anything. The black astronaut with adorable cat ears approaches Sykkuno.

“It’s not.” He states. Your mouth falls open in shock as your date, your companion, the Shoto to your Momo is murdered in cold blood right in front of you. His lifeless body, cut in half, lays on the tiles by the growing flowers, right beside you, “You didn’t see shit.”

“...I didn’t see shit.” Is all you can utter, breathless and terrified.

“Thaaaat’s fucking right, baby.” Corpse coos, “Now I’m gonna report it, and I’ll say we found Sykkuno together. Better stick close to me after the meeting, got it?”

If Sykkuno is Shoto, then Corpse is definitely Dabi.

why is that kinda hot tho omg

didn’t know i needed dom corpse since now but i do

y/n looks like shes boutta throw up lmao

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You follow him around like a lost puppy - because what else is left for you to do!? You’re helpless in this situation. He’s got you in the palm of his hand, successfully eliminating everyone you had previously interacted with. First it was Charlie, then Sykkuno, even Sean, who said hello in passing, was shot instantly. Real Sangwoo behavior. You almost want to scream warnings at everyone to not approach you. You cannot mourn another lost crew mate, you don’t think your conscience can take it. But words fail to form. You’re too weak. You fake cry to your audience. They’re quick to remind you to stop acting like a little bitch.

“Mean.” Is all you say, eyeing the comments.

“Hm?”

“Was talking to the roaches.”

“What are they saying?”

“That I should betray you.”

“...Better not.”

A shiver shoots up your spine and you half believe he will bust down your door and drag you into his basement for real. A nervous laugh slips past your lips, “I won’t, I won’t.” You reassure him, “Don’t worry, I’m sticking with you. I haven’t seen shit.”

“I like that you listen to me. You always this agreeable?”

“You’re kinda not giving me a choice right now.” You grumble, vending yourself a drink while he looms behind you, protecting you. From who?! Himself?!

“Oh my fucking God, finally,” Bretman exclaims, “girl, I’ve been running around the whole map trynna find someone, is everyone like, dead?”

You’re scared to reply. Corpse does it for you, “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, maybe? Not sure. Where have you been?”

“Oh you know,” Bretman grins, “doing tasks, talking shit, the usual. You two are not, like, Impostors right?”

You shoot a look at Corpse, but he obviously can’t see it. Biting your lip, you murmur, “Nope.”

“Just your regular crew mates doing regular crew mate things.” Corpse says, no, purrs. Because that’s not suspicious at all. You’d recommend Bretman to run, and not only because that sounded shady as fuck. But he seems to enjoy danger, or he just doesn’t care.

“Hmmmm, crew mates, sure. Miss girl Y/n,” He’s addressing you now; you smile anxiously, “How come every time I see you, you’re with a different man?! Like damn, leave some for the rest of us, for real!”

You like Bretman. You like his high-pitched whine and drawl. You would like him even more if not for the complex situation at hand. You fear for his life. Chewing at your bottom lip, you snicker, “Sorry, Bret. I can leave you Corpse if you want?”

He laughs, “Girl, I’d say yes so fucking quick, but I know he wouldn’t want that. Normally I wouldn’t care, but y’all are such a cute couple it’s making me not want to be a shady motherfucking bitch. Changing my ways, embracing the lord. Love it.”

Corpse doesn’t correct him that you are, in fact, not dating. His lack of reaction unnerves you slightly. Does he...? No! No think! Only exist! You catch that train of thought and steer it away from forbidden territory. Looks like it’s up to you to clear the air, and that is exactly what you do after trying to swallow down the lump in your throat, “Uh, we’re not together, actually. We’re just really good friends.”

“Bitch, then move over,” Bretman says snappily,”go like, back to your other boyfriends. Or find another one. I think I saw Dream near Navigation.”

“Near Navigation, huh?” Corpse hums thoughtfully. It’s a subtle warning, but you catch it. Yeah, even if you try running, Dream’s going to join your other ‘boyfriends’ in the afterlife. Granted, killing someone by just talking with them is kind of cool. Or maybe Stockholm Syndrome is finally kicking in, “Bret, the thing is, Y/n’s scared of dying, so she asked me to stay with her.”

It’s disturbing how good at lying he is. It is also really really attractive, as bizarre as that is.

y/n stop being in a toxic relationship with corpse challenge

making fanart of this omg her face

its the blushing for me girl get your head outta the gutter!

^she cant, it lives there

“Baby, you’re gonna fucking die if you stick with her,” Bretman points out, “have you noticed the mortality rate of her partners? Rest in peace, daddy.”

“He’s right, you know.” You mutter, dramatically looking to the side, “I’m no good, Corpse.”

“Not leaving you, end of discussion. Bretman, join us?” Corpse offers, catching you by surprise. He might still be lying, though. Creating a false sense of security before eliminating Bretman. Probably would laugh while doing it, too. Wow, he truly is evil.

Turns out he doesn’t have to do any of that, because when Dream strolls into Cafeteria, he kills Bretman instead. The two Impostors are finally revealed. You promised not to snitch on Corpse, but you didn’t say shit about not exposing Dream. You press the REPORT button and say just that: “Dream just murdered Bret right in front of me and Corpse.”

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

The last meeting is called. Dream had been voted out with the help of Corpse, and now only you, he, and Rae remain.

“Baby, you know what to do.”

The VOTED icon pops up beside Corpse’s astronaut. Rae wheezes, “No! Y/n, it’s not me, you gotta believe me, I swear it’s not me!”

“...I really don’t know,” You murmur, “I’ve been with Corpse a lot, and...Rae, I’m not sure...”

“Please! I swear it on my Kagayama cardboard cut out, I’m not the Impostor, please! You know me, I’d never lie to you like this.”

“She’s definitely lying.” Corpse says, sounding pleased.

“Don’t listen to him! Remember, during the first round, when he tried to convince us that you were the Impostor? He’s doing the same shit to me!”

“I also remember you agreeing with him.” You remind her.

“I was stupid! Small dumb brain moment! He was using us to win! He’s using you right now!” She votes, “Please, Y/n, make the right choice.”

You’re silent for a moment.

“I’m gonna...I’m gonna vote for who I think it is.” You lastly say.

A slow, lazy grin makes it’s way onto your lips, eyes gleaming mischievously. You had not forgotten your promise to your brother from another mother, you had not forgotten the pride of the BDA, you had not forgotten your beautiful friendship. Two miniature astronauts pop up by Corpse’s at the exact moment Rae screeches “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!”

“Fuck.” Is all Corpse says with a laugh.

The screen changes, informing of the first CREW MATE victory.

Your ears are assaulted with different voices as you appear in the lobby.

“Now that’s what I’m fucking talking about.” Charlie raves, “I swear to fucking God, Y/n, you even got me going for a second. Pulled some 1000 IQ shit right there. It was fucking amazing. Best back stabbing I’ve seen in a while, and I’ve seen a lot.”

“That was absolutely fantastic, Y/n.” Sean applauds, “I really thought you joined Corpse like some crew mate accomplice or something. Can’t believe you switched on him at the last second.”

“That’s my wifey!” Rae cheers, strolling to you, “Love you, mwah.”

“Hey, Corpse,” Charlie calls him, “How does it feel to be a fucking loser?”

“I’m surprisingly fine with it.”

yeah he would be lmao

mom is the best snake ever i love you sm y/n

rae and y/n’s friendship....the feeeeeels

As the rest sing your praises for another solid minute or two, the third round begins. CREW MATE again. Though, just because you’re stuck as an underpaid worker in a dying spaceship, it doesn’t mean you’re innocent. Your last round proved that quite well. You can’t help but silently snicker.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury--moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse social media au #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband fanfic #social media au #corpse husband imagine #myso #make you say oh #sykkuno x reader #if ya squint #imagine #imagines #reader #reader insert

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thr-333 · 4 years

Text

Mismatch- Part 22

Bio Dad Bruce Wayne Month

Hating LIla is apparently a family trait

First< Previous > Next

---------------------------

“Uh I hate this,” Chloe picks at her uniform like it's a disgusting growth.

“I think you look as nice as you always do,” Marion says cheerfully, turning around on his seat to look back at her and Kagami.

“Marion that is by far the worst you have ever insulted me,”

“It was a complement-” Marion doges her whack.

“Marinette! Hit your brother for me,” Chloe demands, standing up to try and reach him.

“It’s more gratifying if you do it yourself, trust me,” Marinette flicks through her phone, not bothering to look up, “I can pin your uniform to look more flattering if you like,”

“Nette you are the best!” Chloe hugs her from behind, awkward to be sure with the seat and all, yep that's the only reason, not Kagami's death glare that can be felt through the seat.

“Oh Marinette you can also pin mine,” Lila asks, as sweetly as acid, “Or weren't you going to offer the rest of the class?”

“No actually Lila she wasn't,” Marion sneers, ignoring Marinette trying to pull him back into the seat, “As I’ve made it quite clear none of you are our friends, so she isn’t obligated to do anything for you,”

“That’s so mean,” Lila sniffles, everyone is too busy feeling guilty to comfort her.

“Weren't you friends with MDC Lila?” Marion asks as sweetly as acid, “Why not try asking them?"

With that Marion turns back to his seat and starts scrolling through his phone, ignoring Lila's attempts at guilting. He gets a notification from Marinette.

I can speak for myself

U can nicely tell them no- I can tell them to fck off

That wasn't very nice

Im done with nice

Whats wrong?

Marion looks up seeing Marinette looking over him concerned, he sighs and texts back.

Nervous

Dont worry Bruce hasn't told them yet

Its going to be awkward

We’ll get through it- Pound it?

Marion looks back up, Marinette is smiling at him holding out her hand.

“Pound it,”

They pull up to the school, the grandiose of Wayne academy is nothing to sneeze at. Brick buildings, iron work, Marion has to force Marinette to put her sketchbook away. They are escorted around the campus by a student. They’ll be split up and put into a range of different classes to make the best out of their week there.

“3 o’clock,” Marinette bumps into him, Marion lets his gaze slide over, spotting Damian.

“Wasn't Lila saying on the way over here that she was great friends with him?”

“Mari don't,” Marinette hisses, tugging at his sleeve, “It’s weird enough without pulling him in to our grudge match,”

“Nothing bonds siblings more than a mutual hatred of Lila, exhibit A,” He points back and forth between them, “I’m going to do it,”

“Don't you dare-”

“Hey Damian!” Marion shouts, waving his hand for the entire hallway to turn and stare.

Damian turns around with a scowl, hardly lessening when he spots them.

“Marion, just what do you think you’re doing,” Kagami scolds, as Damian stalks over.

“Lila,” Marion smirks back, looking over to the girl who pales at an actual Wayne walking over, apparently she had actually decided to look up what they look like.

“Oh this is going to be good,” Chloe steps back, content to watch the show.

“Hey Dami,” Marion goes to sling an arm around his shoulder.

“Don’t call me Dami,” Damian sidesteps his attempt, preferring to stand closer to Marinette.

“How’s Cat-fred?” Marion smiles, getting Damian’s scowl to lessen slightly, so he smiles brighter.

“He’s doing well,”

“Good good…” Marion shuffles, no longer able to look directly at him, “How’s the family?”

Marinette gives him a sideways look that clearly says ‘you did this to yourself’.

“Why are you asking?” Damian narrows his eyes, and Marion knows he fucked up.

Nette help please!

“I wanted to know when I can come over next for a rematch,” Marinette gracefully lets him off the hook.

“Evidently sparring at the manor is at risk of interruption,” Damian notes, deep in thought, “We should plan an alternative meeting space,”

“That sounds great,” Marinette smiles, catching Damian in between their grins.

Damian just nods and walks away, Marion smiles and waves.

“You’re an idiot,” Marinette punches him in the shoulder, getting him to lower his arm.

“We’ve established that, thanks,” Marion rubs his shoulder with a pout, “However look over there,”

Lila having an aneurysm, surrounded by the class berating her with questions.

“Worth it,” Marion grins, going for a subtle fist bump.

“Agreed,” Marinette returns the gesture.

“Lila why didn’t you say hi?”

“Why didn’t he say hi?”

“He must not have seen me,” Lila’s lip quivers in a practiced motion, “Marinette was standing in front of me,”

“Or were you hiding behind Marinette?” Marion calls over, actually voluntarily walking towards the beast.

“What?! Of course I wasn't!” Lila shouts, her glare sending him a clear warning, one he was fully prepared to ignore.

“Then why didn’t you just move?” Marion asks oh so innocently.

“I didn’t want to be rude,” Lila sounds shy but her face screams murder, as people hang around to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Then you were doing it to be polite and complaining about Marinette is quite rude,” Marion has to hold back a smirk as he hears an ‘oh snap’ from his audience.

“I- you!-”

“That’s nice Lila,” Marinette interrupts, walking away like the badass she is, “How about we get to class,”

Marion goes to class, having the fortune to be lumped in with Lila. And yes he does mean fortune because while Lila is trying to brag and get the students under her thumb they are happily ignoring her, focusing instead on Marion’s tips for learning French. When Lila switches tactics saying she can speak Italian Marion switches over to fluent Italian, something he had learned from his Nona. He then breaks out his Mandarin, daring Lila to try and fake knowing a language.

Lila goes quite, just kidding you know that's not true. She starts to pull students aside whispering to them. Marion isn't sure if she is intentionally loud enough that he can hear her or if it’s just his enhanced hearing.

“He’s a bully, I know he’s just trying to act nice to get something out of you,” Lila warns a student who looks disgruntled to have basically been pulled into the corner away from the group.

“He’s a Wayne?” Ah so he’s heard the not-so rumour, “What could I possibly have that he doesn't?”

“He’s not a Wayne!” Lila snaps, before regaining her composure, “I actually know the Waynes,”

“... because they’re in your class?”

“No!” She stops her foot, “They made up that rumour! I know because I’m personal friends with all the Waynes,”

“Alright show a picture,” The guy shrugs, stuffing his hands in his pockets, Marion reminds himself to give them the award of ‘you’re smarter than everyone in my class, it's not much but it’s something!’.

“ What? ” Lila seethes, looking ready to tear his eyeballs out to have an excuse not to show him.

“All I’m saying is I’ve seen multiple pictures of them with the Waynes plus, I heard that they actually talked to Damian Wayne this morning!” He actually looks in awe at this fact.

“I would hardly call that a conversation,” Lila crosses her arms, looking to the side like a child.

“No you don't understand!” He employers making a wild hand gesture as if trying to show how amazing it is, “He’s the ice prince, if someone else calls his name or even tried to talk to him he would just ignore them, but he actually walked over and talked to them,”

“He saw me-”

“Look I don’t really care, this argument isn't worth having,” The guy puts up placating hands, the gesture having the exact opposite effect on Lila, “Marion seems cool, Wayne or not, so yeah,”

Marion tries not to smile as one by one Lila is shot down. Her anger rising so high Marion is sure she would have been akumatized three times over by now.

“Hey what's with Lila, she seems to have it out for you?” The first guy to talk to her whispers, turns out his name is James and was very confused when Marion gifted him a small paper trophy.

“Oh she does,” Marion shrugs, filling out the worksheet idly.

“Ok… why?” James presses, the small paper trophy sitting on his desk.

“Hmmm…” Marion leans back, tipping his seat, “It’s a paradox,”

“What is?”

“If I tell you the truth, you’ll probably think I’m lying and her accusations will seem more believable,” Marion reasons, looking up at the ceiling, “If I fake ignorance, you’ll probably just take her word for it, seems like a trap,”

“You’re taking this way too seriously,” James shakes his head, and Marion cracks a grin.

“Sorry, just happy to have some new friends,” His smile lessens, becoming melancholy, “It’s been awhile,”

“What? But you’re so,” James makes another one of his wild hand gestures, “ Nice ,”

Marion just shrugs, but some people notice how he quickly glances over at Lila talking with someone else. Any further questions are cut off by the bell.

“Well, seems that's our cue to leave, now tell me are American school lunches really as bad as I’m led to believe?”

“You poor little french boy,” James shake his head, “You have no idea the horrors you will face,”

“This is so much worse than I thought it would be,” Marion looks down at his tray in disgust, “This is a private school?”

“I told you so,” James shrugs, walking through the cafeteria to find a seat.

“Hold up a sec,” Marion says, spotting Damian, not talking but rather trying to ignore someone talking to him, “Dami!”

“Don’t call me Dami,” Damian pushes Marion off him this time, the person who was talking to him looks shocked that his arms aren’t broken.

He puts his tray on the table and grabs Damian's shoulders.

“I have an urgent problem,”

“Cheng-Dupain, from what I know of you that is a massive exaggeration,” Damian brushes him off again and Marion’s scared the other kid is having a heart attack, “Now stop bothering me, it can wait for later,”

“I didn’t take any pictures of Cat-fred!” Marion cries, flopping onto Damian, who doesn't bother pushing him off a third time.

“... Understandable,” Damian snatches Marion’s phone, letting Marion input the code over his shoulder, “This is an oversight on your part,”

“So you’ll send some to me?” Marion grins, using Damian’s head as an armrest as he watches him enter his number.

“Yes,” Damian passes Marion’s phone back and Marion grabs his food.

“Great, see you later!” Marion stands up, ruffling Damian's hair before leaving.

“What was that!?” He hears the other person shout as he walks away.

“What was that?!” James yells, and whoops the entire cafeteria is staring between him and Damian.

“Do you ever learn from your mistakes?” Marinette asks, materialising beside him.

“No?” Marion scoffs, putting his and on his hip, “Why would I?”

“Are you actually siblings?” James still looks in shock but at least he isn’t gaping and gasping for air anymore.

“Yes?” Of course they were siblings, they are twins? Is that not clear?

“God-fucken dammit Mari!” Marinette hisses, “That’s not what they meant!”

“Oh,” Marion says softly, totally not jumping as Damian materialises next to him.

“Cheng-Dupain, it was this absentminded nature that caused this rumour to get out of hand in the first place,”

“Yeah… you are going to have to be way more specific,” Marion looks around the whole cafeteria is still staring at them, trading whispers.

“No we are not related, that is a baseless rumour,” Damian glares at James, making him recoil.

“Right… baseless,” Marion mumbles, getting kicked in the shin by Marinette.

“Adopted then?” James foolishly asks.

“ No ,” and yep now James looks afraid for his life.

“Haha, you know you don’t have to seem so offended by that?” Marion slings his arm around Damian’s shoulder, silently rejoicing that he only gets a withered glare this time.

“Like I said,” Lila’s voice carries over the still quite cafeteria, “The Waynes were telling me how they hate that rumour, the meer idea they are connected to the twins is-”

“ Excuse me ,” Damian slams his hand down on the table, right next to Lila making her jump out of her skin, “But who are you, and why do you think you know anything about my family and what we think,”

“I just-”

“You presume you’re of enough importance to understand my feelings towards the matter?” Damian stands tall and looks down his nose at her, “You aren’t,”

“Lila,” Alya whispers to her as Damian walks away, “I think you should just let them sort it out, it’s a family matter,”

“Who is that?” Damian demands when he gets back to them, “And how do I destroy her?”

“Don’t worry about it Damian, she's just doing it to get attention,” Marinette explains calmly.

“Lila Rossi,” Marion has other plans, “She’s a Liar, provide proof she doesn't know your family or anyone for that matter and she will be destroyed,”

Damian gives a curt nod and walks away, back to his friend who is still gaping like the rest of the room.

“ Mari ,” Marinette smacks him.

“I merely shared my wisdom,” Marion stroke his invisible beard, “What he chooses to do with it is up to him,”

“Ugh, that was a long day,” Plagg groans, curling up in the middle of his pillow.

“Plagg you slept in my bag the whole time,” Marion flops onto his bed, and it wasn't over they had to go on patrol soon.

“Which is far more disruptive than a bed,” Plagg complains, letting Marion curl up next to him, “Not comfortable at all,”

“Speaking of not being comfortable…” Marinette trails off, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Our brother insisting we aren’t related?” Marion curls around to look over at her.

“Very strange feeling,” Marinette nods, absentmindedly pulling her feet onto the bed.

“He yelled at Lila,” Marion smiles up at the ceiling.

“Does that make him an honorary Dupain-slash-Cheng?” Marinette smiles over at him.

“Yeah…” Marion’s grin drops, “... Or Dupain/Cheng/Wayne,”

“... You want to tell them?” Marinette asks in her horrible tone that reminds him of being back in Paris and trying to stifle emotions.

“I mean, yeah,” He sits up, crossing his legs, “They’re family right? I want to know them, do you?”

“He seemed upset when they called us siblings,” Marinette turns to face him, the Kwamis watching their little meeting from the outside.

“He seemed more upset with Lila, said he was insulted by it,” Marion reasons, he feels like they’re back in Paris dressed as Ladybug and Chat Noir having three in the morning conversations on rooftops.

“It’s Lila, anything she says can piss someone off,” Marinette sighs, flopping back on the bed, destroying the illusion, “Tikki what do you think?”

“This is a decision you have to make on your own Marinette,” Tikki advises sagely.

“Tiiikkkiiiiii,” Marinette whines like a three year old

“Alright, I never had a family but I have the other Kwamis,” Tikki concedes, explaining to the twins giving her all their attention, “I am separated from Nooro and Dussu, and if family feels like them I do not want you to be separated,”

“What if they get mad?” Marinette asks, fidgeting.

“Then you’ll find a way to work through it,” Tikki smiles at them, “You’re Ladybug and Chat Noir, there isn’t anything you can’t do,”

“Just do it kid!” Plagg shouts, giving up on pretending to nap, “If it turns out bad at least you know!”

“Plagg!”

“What is it Sugar Cube?” Plagg asks sweetly, getting chased out the room moments later.

“So, we doing this?” Marion asks, after all their Kwamis have left.

“I guess so,” Marinette shugs, bringing out her phone, Marion holds her hand for comfort as they wait for the phone to ring.

“Hello?” Bruce picks up on the third ring.

“Hey Bruce,” Marion says, sounding strained even to himself.

“Marinette, Marion,” Bruce answers, pleasantly surprised, “Is everything alright?”

“How do you feel about telling everyone else?” Marion cuts straight to the chase, he can’t be bothered to run.

“... are you sure?” Marion can feel Marinette tension grow at the question, “I want to but they’ll all be surprised, it might ruin your trip,”

“We got sent to the hospital the first week being here,” Marion reasons, he should technically still be on bed rest.

“... That's true,”

“So?” He prompts after a too long pause.

“When do you want to tell them?”

“Tomorrow,” Marinette speaks up for the first time.

Well I guess that's that

-----------------------------

Taglist:

@technicallyburninggarden @fusser90 @misslenamooney @superbwhispersconnoisseur @biodad-bruce-month @nalu-ismyjam @the-one-woman-army @rosesandsailboats @blackmagicforever @zeneralla @ivymala07 @tired-butterfly @tired-butterfly @Ranger-gothamite @A-star-with-a-human-name @enchanted-nerd

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anestheticrage · 4 years

Text

Be me: Japanese honor student🎓, 15, with half a brain and even less of a plan. Hunting bitches by day and witches by night. Livin that dank only child✌️ life while mom n dad yeet all over the globe, leavin me plenty of time to forget not to make 2 lunches for myself #quirky 😜

no time for socialization or basic electronics skills ???📱??? when your best friends are an alien demon rabbit🐰👽 and the inexplicable Hole ™ in your brain. lmao, btw did i mention im ✨M✨A✨G✨I✨C✨A✨L✨

dreamin bout my 2D waifus again when familiar pink haired cancer patient dances through my brain passin out fliers: Kamihama Meguca Dating Service: Sponsored by Cult of the Magius. 250 stones per session 🤔

seems legit, Mr. Moneybags. wasn't spending my unwieldy sack of gemstones on anything else anyway. lets pull 💎💎💎

first up we have Redhead Radagast and her plethora of plants. 🌿☺️🦎

anndd, nearly dies immediately.

well not off to a great start but i guess shes pretty cute at lea- oh FUCK its her girlfriend, Tsundere Poseidon😒🔱💦, and their exasperated, straight and single Sword Mom 😔🗡️🔥. fml gonna have to save up for the next pull. might as well play a few rounds with what i got tho.

get in some good girl talk about things like school, color coded hair styles, body count, permanent soul damage, and our personal demon pacts. ya know, the usual 😚 . realize my dark backstory seems to be missing, so the girls take me to Ketchup Queen Sappho 🍅🥧 (wtf?) to molest my glowy egg stone. whatevs, more action than ive had since Kuroe 🖤 got added to the story anyway

the gang agrees it's time to hunt down the cutest rabbit pimp 🕶️🐇💵 in the city. >> say 🎵mukyuuu🎵 one more time and ill hug you so hard my backstory will pop right out, you adorable fluffy bastard. plz be my new best friend 💕

Form brand new friendship pact with Kyubae, and remember that my lil Sis 🐥 was always the best wingman for pickin up magic chicks, and kept her side of the room so spotless i forgot she existed. whoops 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ Maybe if I find her i can stop paying these exorbitant pull fees.📵💎

speaking of which: hot damn this week's featured bachelorette is a 19 year old model and magical detective🔎 with massive levels of PTSD and self loathing 🥵💙💦 more likely to stab you or dramatically jump off a rooftoop than utter a single positive comment. wow, maybe i really COULD find true love…

... if i had MORE THAN A 1% FUCKING DRAW CHANCE. 😡 smh

hard to make much progress finding sis or winning the broken heart of a hard boiled detective amidst the never ending lover's quarrel of the Trident Vine Lesbians. 💔 Sword Mom tells them if they don't behave a monster will take them away. LOL classic mom 🤣

>>>HOLY FUCK IT DID

declare all-out war on urban legends, starting with staircases ⚔️ to reunite the dysfunctional trio, and hope that I net a way better lineup with the next 10x pull. at least sad sleuth lady came to help out. they say combat is the best way to bond wi- and there she goes off the rooftop again 🙄 fml

alright that got way off track, we need a fresh start, away from all the loli drama. how bout a little B&E🔓🔨🤷🏻‍♀️ at the local house of worship to clear my head. ahh nothing like the unanswered prayers of the masses to get you in the mood for another wasted pull, and the 🔥 MIGHTIEST 🔥 headache you could ask for with a side of Double Cooked Pork 🐖🍜 (meh 5/10🧾)

venture forth into the spiritual unknown with your new human flamethrower🔥🌻🧡 and ask your favorite private eye to please, for the love of Eve, trade Meguca accounts with me~~~ Head through the eastern spirit portal to meet up with hologram propaganda sis and detective crush's evil ex, who joined a dating-app cult (#fuck) and also turned into the moon?🌕?(that's rough buddy)

get ambushed by Acid Horse on Wheels 🌈🐴 and vomit up my soul so hard that its time for a crossover episode. T U R F F F W A R R R *que operatic harmonies* 💛 Blondie with the hair drills and enough attitude and guns to fill up a noble phantasm tries to ban my account permanently, but PI heartthrob denies her admin privileges. aww babe i didn't know you cared. 😭♥️

get kidnapped by my new true love and go back to her place 😏 defs enough empty rooms to house five emotionally traumatized girls and at least two ghosts hehehe👻 XD 💚🃏💜🎸 decide to form the anti-gossip brigade and recruit my blazing sunflower after getting ambushed by the witch living in my fruit loops🥣

❌outvoted 2:1 that cults are bad. mf. fiinneee one last pull to round out the team and then I'll delete the app. cmonnn Karin 🎃~

OH HELL YEAH TWO FOR ONE.

Always wanted a daughter 💜🔨🐄 with a penchant for pissing off the local Martial Arts & Books Club and drinking suspicious liquids offered by total strangers. Well if it's good enough for her AND the sexy mayadere with enough game to seduce a mermaid, might as well get in on that myself.

#curseddrank 🤢 0/24 would not recommend to a friend, 'cept maybe Ria

win alot of cash 🤑, blow up a fountain, meet the pied piper²🎶🖕, moon cult, monochrome feathers, something about liberation✊🏻; adopt temper tantrum cow girl. aces 💜��

Next up!!! skydiving with DJ Hammer! Jump to apparently-not-certain death after suicidal A.I. 💚💾🗼 tells you to rescue her hostage before they run out of Radiohead albums and have to move on to Thom Yorke's solo discography. save the invisible shield kitten 💚👑😿 from happiness and get chased through the internet by the sexiest homicidal Paint Pallette 💚🎨😈 since Caravaggio. (apparently green is the color of the digital apocalypse. i’m deleting Kako from my friend's list)

that’s it, fuck this app. 250 stones 💎 per-life-threatening-experience is more than i’m willing to deal with 😓 don’t wanna mess with the perfect nuclear family anyway. we've already got:

✔️the two emotionally traumatized moms with memory and commitment issues

✔️the adhd daughter with anger management problems and a giant hammer

✔️the psychologically abused scizophrenic cat

✔️and the eccentric aunt with crippling anxiety

#squadgoals

now that were done hoarding bitches, its time to hunt the witches. and the bitches makin the witches. btw did i mention the witches ARE the bitches! AND WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!? 📽️⁉️💀 wait fuck lets back up a second

This is Nemo📕 and Token🧪 and they have all the answers but prefer if you only ask vague questions in exchange for vague responses so they can fill in the rest by discussing their superior intellect 🧠 at length. not to mention they built that dating app, so of course everyone in my harem decides to be a FUCKING. TRAITOR.🤬

cept waifu prime ofc 🥰💙. [PTSD > brainwashing] 'yOu CaN bE tHe LeAdEr NoW'. i have been from the very beginning you traumatized Hinedere nightmare. maybe if you weren't so caught up collecting surrogate daughters you would've noticed IM👏THE👏ONLY👏 ONE👏PROGRESSING👏THE FUCKING👏PLOT✨

rescue the rest of dysfunctional found-family™ from selves before my adorable firebender burns down Disnihama🎡🔥😱 during her weekly anxiety attack. (love the makeover T B H)

CHAPTER 8: Magical Girl Massacre🩸🗡️

- everyone has like, the shittiest day ever

- the new Pope really needs to be extradited from the church

- make friends with a really pretty tree 🌺🌲✨

i swear, if i don't finish this god damn story in time to get that free pull im gonna beat the shit out of every mirror i find in that giant mansion that i haven't even had any time to even mention yet. 🖕🏚️ let alone EVERYTHING happening with the prequel [fuck you, I'm the star] girls 💗💜💙💛❤️️ and their multidimensional melodrama. We don't need that many repetitive af episodes to emphasize that Homo-ra is a shitty person. we've all seen Rebellion. 🙄

NO, I DONT CARE IF YOU WANT SAPPHO'S BACKSTORY, I ONLY HAVE 79 STONES LEFT AND IF YACHAN FINDS OUT I HAVEN'T DELETED THE APP YET IM GONNA HAVE TO GO SLEEP IN WITH SANA 😭💎💸😠

uhhhggggg where were we… Topple a cult and burn down Hotel Denoument only to realize that Sis was fused with the dating app servers this entire madokafuckin time (told ya she was the best wingman 😊).

Dilemma: Sis =🥚, Triumvirate of Trouble want 🐣. What do? vote now:

Help Hatch - IIIIIII

Not Do That - IIIII

What The Actual Fuck Is Going On - IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Lets just fight everyone until something good happens.

🔥🔫🔥🗡️🔥😱🔥🌆🔥😱🔥🛡️🔥💣🔥

Kill (???) the artist-in-chief of the italian reindeer murder police after teaching her the true meaning of Christmas 🎄 hatch 🐣lil Sis and realize she WAS your wingman all along🐰 MUKYUUUU! we're just gonna ignore how much trouble it would have saved if you'd just mentioned that. "yOu DiDnT aSk..."

FUCK YOU SPACE BITCH. ONCE AN INCUBATOR ALWAYS AN INCUBATOR 🖕🐇🔪

anywho, somewhere along the lines we of course summoned the Antichrist ⚙️ because why not raise the stakes to max and still not kill off a single character. Madofuckinkami, can we PLEASE wrap this up. 😩💤

feathers (not the culty kind, tfm) rain from the sky, and the power of friendship and not having the Urobutcher 🔪🩸as a lead writer saves our peacefully sectioned off alternate reality 😇

TL:DR fuck cults, real life waifus DO exist, don't sell your soul to space rabbits, or your stones to megacorporations. Enjoy arc 2 on the JP server with your shitty translation patch you filthy fuckin weebs

Yours Truly,

- Thirsty Weeb Eroha 💗💎😘

41 notes · View notes

papers4me · 4 years

Text

Fruits Basket SE02, ep11

There’s a such a sad tone throughout the episode because the theme is “letting go”. Currently: Kagura letting go of kyo. Kyo letting go of being with tohru, Possible future I hope for/want so bad: tohru letting go of the sohma’s. Yes. Girl needs to carve her own path, not solely live for others. Selfish kagura was wrong, selfless kyo can be wrong. But selfless tohru is definitely wrong! Be selfish tohru! plz! I want this for you so bad!!!

-Tohru’s Mission:

I’m so happy there are no magic cure for the curse! Nothing supernatural tohru needs to do. The curse is a metaphor for abuse & trauma, so breaking it with realistic & logical ways is awesome! Forming healthier bonds to replace the toxic ones is a plausible solution.The writer could’ve easily gone the anime-magic style, but didn’t! Tohru in her curse-breaker mode contacting Kazuma who didn’t hold back. “why must you bow you head/do so much” YES!! “you’ve already done so much”. Tell her!! she’s done enough for them. That image of her hugging kyo in his cat form is literally more than anybody could’ve done! the shunned cat, the hideous monster has been embraced by the beauty. love that someone within the story is against the idea of curse-breaker tohru!

-The nature of Abuse/Curse: The abused always lack the strength to oppose the abuser, cuz the abuser has systematically crushed their will/spirit & instilled twisted beliefs, brainwashing the victims into believing they can’t escape & no one is waiting for them, or they’re harmful, so they should stay inside.

-Kazuma’s opinion of Akito: abusers always look pathetic to outsiders, their strength is only dominating their victims. kazuma, an outsider, sees Akito as A spoiled child-like adult. “Fragile & unstable”. Notice how Kazuma’s words humanize Akito. He doesn’t call her monster! but a person who needs to be stopped for herself & others.

-THE “DATE”:

Once again, kyo/kagura date is everything but a date. It has all the typical signs of kagura/kyo “date”. She demands it, he’s refuses, she’s manipulates him using tears, he reluctantly accepts. She initially wanted to experience date-like activities, movies, lunch, he tries, he even dressed up for her, but she can read his eyes: please END this. She gives up leading him to where it all started. That park...happy place, right?

-The unfortunate memory:

To her: she was happily making a friend less fortunate than her, to him: it was a happy memory of ever making any fiend. To her: his misfortune is an opportunity to create a better image of herself: “The beauty accepting the pitiful beast“. To him: it was a moment of fear, alone in the park in his ugliest form, better hide well & wait till I’m human again.. mommy will be mad ..no more playing in the park...no more freedom. It’s tragic how this memory shaped their present relationship. What broke that day wasn’t kyo’s beads, but his trust in her. Whatever trust he had for his big sister is shattered by the pain of his true form & all its ugly outcomes. how tragic that she tried to overcompensate for years, to erase what happened & replace it with forced affection, manipulations, violence, ANYTHING! just let me be the beauty that loves the beast. The tragedy wasn’t that Kagura wanted to fix her human mistake, the tragedy was that she ONLY wanted to heal her own pain. Everybody is afraid of monsters. kyo’s mom. Tohru, too. Kagura screaming & running away wasn’t new to kyo. it is sth he accepts as normal. her leaving him behind is what broke him. He’s as afraid of this monster as everybody else. yet, he’s always left alone with it. Until tohru came & stayed with him. Tohru wins his trust cuz she saw the pain in the beast, the fear, the loneliness. Kagura lost it cuz she left him behind like everybody else did. Kagura’s confession is heartbreaking for them both. but it is tragic that even in her confession she only saw her pain. “I never thought abt your pain”, No one cares abt the monster. They are Not humans. “I only thought abt myself”.

Kyo’s growth:

Silent, understanding, firm, yet kind kyo is a side we usually see with tohru, where he listens silently until she finishes, no rush, no interruption. This side Kagura sees now for the first time. He’s letting her unload her baggage, no matter how painful it is to hear how she pitted him. pity is one of kyo’s worst pet peeves. Yet, he showed no disgust or annoyance. No access to his thoughts. His face & solemn expression conveys lots. Every sentence, decision, expression, & word he said were perfect & showed immense growth.

She realized the difference between them. Both were in pain, both matured to understand themselves better, both gained courage to let go of toxic feelings, however, unlike her, kyo saw her pain & sized to relieve it.

“I won’t fall in love with you”calmly but firmly “I never will” stopping any possible scenarios. Typical kyo, no pampered words to color things differently, just direct, straightforward & honest sentences. That’s how he is with tohru. “I’m not upset abt you looking down on me” reliving her from guilt (a destructive feeling kyo knows too well), “you have nothing to apologize for” regardless if she must or not, kyo is releasing her of the outcomes of her confession. She doesn’t need to fix or explain or justify anything. “No matter your reason was, I’m happy you played with me”. Kyo chose to remember the one positive part of that memory & let go of the darkness attached to it. Them playing together. Not her leaving him. He chose to keep this memory precious & thank her for it. It’s then that kagura herself chose to do the same, let go of the darkness & bring the innocent memory: “kyo-chan, I love you”. Kyo choosing to embrace her until she’s done crying & thanking her is a precious part of himself that is so endearing. Oh how the table have turned!! The monster is the one comforting the beauty. The monster is not pitiful nor ugly, he’s kind & oh so endearingly sweet. After all, it is not a love story. It never was.

Side Notes:

tohru asking before using the phone in the house she’s been living in for a year now! my precious girl! T_T.

How twisted the sohma’s are to deny a dead relative burial in the family’s gravesite. All cat zodiacs are even denied after death?! tortured by ridicule & solitary life confinement & even disowned after death. tragic. that’s kyo’s fate. It’s a metaphor for the abusive environment, one can’t expect logic or humanity from such abusive systems.

kyo covering tohru’s ears...son, why are u so obvious? it hurts, lol. Yuki is in disbelief of how your love-sick brain works. lol

Kyo & black button down shirt. that’s it. That’s the note.

Kagura finally graduated from comic-relief with violent tendencies to human character with flaws, mistakes & tragic choices. yay!

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #kyo sohma #Tohru Honda #sad paper #SE02

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icarus-imagines · 5 years

Text

FallenAngel!Hikaru Hitachiin X Female!Reader X Angel!Kaoru Hitachiin -Part 1-

Can u do a fallen angelx female reader xangel

Word Count: 4,810

Category: Ouran Highschool Host Club

Limbo and everything corresponding to death is said to be a lonely and sad place. But is it truly?

~To Be Born Together, Is To Die Together~

-Part 1- -Part 2-

“No one needs to know.”

“You’ll get in trouble with the Boss,” a voice sighed out a little exasperated, but not entirely against the idea his elder brother had proposed. “But you don’t quite care if you do, don’t you?”

They nodded to their younger counterpart, agreeing. "Why should we care if he never finds out?"

With a tilt of his head, earlier bewilderment disappeared and upon his face came amusement. Of course, his elder brother with come up with a plan like this. It was so befitting of him to do such a thing. "Are you saying we should keep it a secret?" they asked, just to clarify what they meant. "You know how he will react if we do such a thing. It may not necessarily go against your instincts, but it does mine. I will be punished more severely than you."

"Of course," they replied, with a smirk, knowing they were alike yet different in many ways. He had already thought one step of ahead though just in case, for who would he be if he had planned something and not come up with a backup as to not get entangled unwantedly? "We just have to watch our steps and we should be fine. As long as we are quick and swift we should be fine." They waved their hand as if to dismiss the credible thought that they would take a wrong step.

"Such an intelligent brother I have," they laughed.

"Well, I am you."

"Oh, how could I forget?"

∆

Unbeknownst to you, powers beyond your control were lurking.

You were a simple human. One with a simple life. Simple family. In all contexts of your life, you were just...well...simple. Nothing exciting ever happened to you. Nothing out of the ordinary to cause your train to run off its tracks. People around the world would desperately wish to have a gift of a normal life, but not you.

You wanted something to happen. You wanted the passionate excitement that life could offer yet never seemed to do so. Adventure of the thrill is what you desired more than anything else in the world. But even when you did try to venture out, try to defy its wishes, something always miraculously blocked your once clear path.

For example, that one time you had planned a visit to (C/n). You had bought the tickets, you had packed, and you had been the most excited you had ever been. You had taken precautions with everything. Following the silly rules like not stepping on cracks to step your mother's back, never cross the path of a black cat on the street, and all the other superstitious people had devised could be true but truly were not. To be careful was to be better than sorry.

Against all odds, you wanted nothing to get in your way, just this single time. Yet, against your will, something had happened and you never got the chance to fly to (C/n).

The plane you had planned to use had supposedly been suspended due to an anonymous tip that it was going to be hijacked by terrorists. So instead of enjoying the fresh air of (C/n), you were stuck in your bed with the free week from school you had gotten taken off, watching some Netflix shows.

By terrorists.

Out of all the reasons for a plane to be delayed and eventually cut off.

It was just your special kind of luck.

If you didn't know any better you would have held the assumption that God or the Devil himself were personally handling your affairs. Whether it was held with good or bad intentions was something you had never figured out, but in all your years of living, you took it as some kind of twisted blessing given to you when you were born.

With the giant refund of money the airport had given you, stapled with an apology of the unwanted inconvenience, you enjoyed yourself in your home city of Tokyo, Japan.

Having a free week to yourself was still something that lifted your spirits. While you did have more than enough time to yourself due to your parents being important and wealthy people in the city, you still felt better. You were always surrounded by your friends from Ouran High School, their chatterings of minuscule things like what dessert they enjoyed most or which Host Club member they wished could date them, even just for an hour of the day.

You remembered though, the one day you had finally decided to see what the ruckus was that surrounded the Host Club, when you had been given a sorrowful greeting.

Never would you have imagined that the day you had decided to get some excitement in your life was the day the Host Club had suffered not one, but two heartbreaking realizations. It was the twins, the ones that had been given the title of 'Little Devils', who had both decided to leave this world.

Suicide.

Conjoined suicide.

The worst thing about it all was that they had left without a world. The other Host Club members, who had all been more than close with the duo, had confessed that the two had never given any signs to the fate they led themselves too. They had been acting like their normal mischievous selves, pranks and all the day before they had been found dead in their house together. Not even a note had been left, or a post on a social media to pinpoint their reasons behind their actions.

You still thought about it. About the day you, no matter how much you tried to convince yourself you didn't, had caused their deaths. It was a plausible idea for you. Why else would they had done it? It had to be you. The girl with a blessing that had turned into a curse.

Curse.

Yes, you had this curse. And thanks to you two people you had never met had died. Taken their own lives because you couldn't stay away from the mere idea that you would finally be able to touch something that could bring you even just a single ounce of excitement.

You had killed those two boys.

Killed those twins.

You had killed Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin.

∆

"What about her?" Kaoru's white wings shimmered in the light of the lamp posts that had been turned one in the turning of late afternoon to early evening.

Hikaru's own wings, acknowledged to be bigger display but pitch black, ruffled for only a second in dissatisfaction. "No, looks too uninteresting," he huffed, watching as the woman his brother pointed out walking down the street.

Her face was caked with too much makeup for their liking, since they enjoyed a more natural look more than anything. The same went for a woman's overall personality. If they made any assumptions about the woman who had walked by, they both knew her personality would probably not meet their standards in many aspects.

It was harder than they thought, to actually find somebody that both met their preferences, but agree to have them tag along. Consent was needed for a contract to be formed. So while the idea of this had been a good one, the work they needed to put forth was more than they had thought they would need.

All they wanted was a woman who wasn't afraid to show her true self out in public. Plus if she agreed, consenting to their conditions, and them to hers, it would cement the bond. They didn't think it was something so hard to ask, but it was apparent that it truly was.

Leisurely walking along a street in Tokyo that offered a strip of all assortments of stores like cafes, pastry shops, and ones offering clothing, Hikaru and Kaoru tried harder to find somebody suitable. They hadn't much more time to look. Sundown was fast approaching which meant not only would people be dispersing to return to their safe homes, but their boss would question why they would be out so late.

Through the throngs of people, they walked, simple disguising magic making it easier for them to navigate their ways without being sighted by any watchful eyes. More than around a hundred woman had been cast aside. It was not that they were picky or anything, but every time they had thought one could be suitable, a man, a child, or the like would be tailing after them. While they had their own standards of what they wanted, they needed a woman who was not attached. If somebody was tied to them it would make it harder for all them to interact. Two men were enough for a woman. They would get more than jealous if a third man was already vying for the attention of the woman they wanted.

So with feet almost touching the floor from wings that had grown tired, the wondered if they should try tomorrow instead. Maybe, somebody, tomorrow would fit what they wanted. It wasn't too big of a shot to take. They would both get the rest they needed and give them more time for a better plan to find who they needed for their contract.

Just as they had both agreed upon meeting tomorrow in the morning they saw somebody that looked more than perfect.

You.

The girl wearing a pretty (F/c) sundress that hugged your figure, paired with pretty (S/f/c) sandals. You looked happy and bright in the middle of tired looking individuals. In the glow of lantern posts and a few lanterns from more traditional shops, you looked heavenly.

What a convenience for you to be heavenly, granted who they were.

∆

Surveying the shops around you, you smiled gleefully. Today had been a stress reliever. After your stops at a pastry shop to try out a new special, nothing had ruined your day. You knew nothing could make your day go wrong. Absolutely nothing.

But you internally said those words too much too quickly for a random stranger bumped you with their shoulder as they tried to pass. With a sneer, they yelled a, "Watch where you're going!"

Replying with a, "Sorry, sir!", you wondered what his problem was to warrant such a foul mood in such a happy place like this.

Continuing on your way you excited from the main street of shops with a turn to the left. Clutching the bag that hung over your left shoulder you knew you couldn't let the strangers crabby mood ruin your own. So plastering on a smile upon your face you walked casually back in the direction of where your apartment resided.

Halfway there though you had the itching feeling somebody was watching you. The most terrifying fact about it was you felt more than one pair of eyes on the burning themselves into the back of your head. It horrifying you more when you turned your head to look over your shoulder while walking to only discover nobody was behind you. The whole street was deserted and with the lamp posts casting odd shadows over the asphalt paved road you had a feeling something was more than wrong. But turning to look straight again you had to hold onto the belief that your curse would protect you.

Unfortunately, the first time your curse was deciding to take off was the day you actually needed it to be working.

With a shriek, you took a quick step backward at an odd angle and tripped. Strong pains throbbed in your right ankle and your butt as you fell to the ground. Your hands also hurt too, the rock and rocky plains of the road digging into your open palms when you braced for impact.

The two figures above you had once had pleased looks on their face, but they both quickly morphed into worry when you took the unprecedented fall to the ground. They both seemed to forget that they had been stalking you for they both took a step forward.

Your eyes though had closed shut, the sting of your palms combined with the throbbing in your ankle causing you much plain to your displeasure. Wincing, you open your eyes when one spoke. Looking up you see one of them kneeling, offering you their hand.

Despite initially believing they were kidnappers or something of the sort you fought against it. What kind of kidnappers or murderers would they be if they were being so kind as to help you off the ground when they had frightened you? Maybe it was your nature to be kind peeking through that made you hold onto the belief they were good people and didn't mean to cause you harm.

So accepting his kind gesture you rested your significantly smaller hand into his own. He heaved you up slowly until you got your bearings with you once again. The pain in your hand still stung the littlest bit, but it was the more concerning injury that was your ankle that had your attention.

"Thank you," you said softly, your voice appearing meek and small. Dusting off your sundress lightly, you look up and can’t help but let your mouth open a bit in surprise. Before you can stop from speaking you blurt out one word: “Twins.”

Both their amber colored eyes, like sweet honey, widened in some sort of dumbfoundment. You clamp your mouth knowing you must have insulted them, but before you can open it again to explain yourself they react first.

“Pppffttt,” their bellowing laughed rings in your ears and if had not been for you confusion you would have joined in with their merriment.

After a few seconds, they catch their breath, one ruffling their shared messy auburn hair in the process. They are so identical you are unsure how someone would ever tell them apart. One thing you did notice was the parting of their hair was different though. The one standing to your left was parted to the right while the one on the right was the opposite.

“Sorry for laughing,” the one on the left, who was also the one who helped you up said, “but then the realization on your face was too hard to go against.”

The one on the right joins in, but he seems to have a rougher exterior and doesn’t seem to care much for boundaries or the like. “I have to disagree,” he says, a smirk on his face. “The look on your face was priceless when you noticed.”

“Ya, I,” you said nervously, tucking a stray piece of (H/c) hair behind your ear,” I was just surprised. I’ve never seen twins before. I was going to see a pair a week or so ago, but it never came to be.”

“You were going to see twins?” The one on the right asked, confused as to why seeing a pair of twins would be set up like a meeting.

“Yes,” you said sheepishly. “Have you heard of the Ouran Highschool Host Club?”

They glance to each other for a second, a glance that holds something you don’t know in it, before looking at you. They offer a few nods of confirmation and you continue on even though you are a bit suspicious with that look they gave each other.

“Well, I have had this curse since birth, per se, and I-”

The both stopped you momentarily and you were in a daze when they spoke together. “Curse? What kind of curse?”

You went on even though you thought it both cute and impressive for them to blend their voices so perfectly together. “I always guessed it was supposed to be a blessing, but after living with it for so long and knowing its effects I believe it’s more of a curse than anything else,” you started to explain as they listen closely, even leaning in a bit to catch everything you tell them. “It makes my life normal. Every time I seek out anything even just a tiny bit exciting something happens and I never get to experience it.”

You go on to explain a few instances to give them more insight into the dilemma you were always stuck in. Even the short story about the missed vacation that was too crazy to ever be a real thing.

“So one day, after my friends had been badgering me about the Host Club for weeks, I decided to go. I thought I would be okay, I could have just a little bit of fun for once in my life. But it wasn’t meant to be…” you murmured, eyes downcast. “The day I had arrived the most horrible thing had happened. All the member were in despair. Girls all around were crying their eyes out. Even the most strong and stoic like Ootori-Senpai and Morinozuka-Senpai, were inconsolable… Two of their members had mysteriously committed suicide. The oddest thing was they never left any reason behind as to why they did such a thing.”

Looking up you stare into their face. Tears pricked your eyes, obscuring your vision for a second and you could have sworn their expressions showed guilt, but you didn’t dwell on the thought though. Wiping the tear away you stood a bit taller, trying to act like you were alright even though you felt empty inside. Hands clasped together you stared deep into their eyes.

“It’s my fault.”

“What is?” they said together, though it seemed more forced than anything else.

“Their deaths,” you said arms crossing so you could hug yourself. “My curse must have done this...there is no other explanation for them to do something so drastic. So spontaneous with no reason whatsoever...I-I,” your voice was cracking and even though you had met these boys only around twenty minutes ago you felt you could trust them, “I killed them….

I killed Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin.”

∆

You had not the faintest idea of why they were not reacting. They just stood their normally like you had simply told them your friends favorite color was blue. Their faces were the same, identical as they already were, morphed into frigid looks of guilt.

“Do you…,” you felt a bit of anger rising in your voice at their barely changed reactions, “do you both even care I killed them? I killed two boys I had never even met because I wanted to be selfish and have fun? They had their whole lives ahead of them and I-”

“It wasn't you,” the one on your right said first, then joined his left twin brother for the second part. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“What do you mean?”

The twins stood for a second contemplating on if they should leave. Erase your memory somehow and let you live your life without knowing you ever met them right here. They had both forgotten about the contract they wanted to create with you. What had ensued was bigger than both of them and right now they cared more about your wellbeing than them having a new toy to play with when they got bored of the regular occurrences of most humans.

The one on the right and looked at the other. He was shaking a bit, trying their hardest to not show their emotions. He knew he had to be brave for his younger brother, but this is where they split. He wasn’t like his younger brother. He wasn’t as good at being level-headed and well put together. The younger knew this and offered his hand. Tangling them together in a tight grasp.

Squeezing his hand, he looked up at you and spoke for both of them. “We are those twins. Hikaru,” he titled his head as a signal to his brother on the right, and finally himself, “Kaoru.”

You were stunned, body stock still as you stared at the tall twins with blazing amber gemmed eyes. “But that’s impossible, they-well you both-died,” you said trying to rack your brain for an explanation to all of this.

How was it possible for them to be those twins when they had died? They had found the bodies, they had had a funeral and gone through with everything. Even if it was a fake death, they couldn’t be that good and gotten away with it to run away. And if it was to run away...what were they running to? Their life was perfect as it was. What was so imperfect about it to cause something so irreversible?

“We came back,” Kaoru said first.

“But back in a limbo state,” Hikaru said second.

“What do you mean? I don’t quite understand.”

They glanced at each other before they revealed one of their deepest secrets.

Blinded by a white light for a few seconds you guarded your face with your hands. Soon it calmed down, growing dimmer and dimmer by the second. Removing your hands, gradually you began to understand the meaning to their words.

Hikaru was a Fallen Angel.

Kaoru was an Angel.

Hikaru’s wings were obsidian, majestically dark like the colour of a starless night in the middle of winter.

Kaoru’s were a complete contrast, wings of brilliant powdered white, light like the colour of the glimmering stars in a summers night.

You didn’t ask the reason behind their differences in afterlife species. You simply chalked it up as actions after they had died. To meddle in those affairs was a story for another day perhaps.

Both of their wings were big, though Kaoru’s swept the floor further than Kaoru's and intimidated you just a bit. You should have felt fear at the knowledge of this but you felt lighthearted. They are dead, yet they are more alive than they ever have been. So much had happened since they left the Earth to return and linger in their home called limbo. A place of mystery and superstition to humans of the modern world.

“Why reveal yourselves now?” You asked, wishing for questions to your compiled answers. “Why to me? You both committed suicide, but you seem to hold no regret. Do you not care about your friends? Do you-”

“We do care about them,” Kaoru answered, knowing his brother would burst and not be able to take the pressure on his shoulders. “We just couldn’t take seeing the person we love slowly fall for someone else. Fall for someone she swore she would never like as anything more than a friend.”

Hikaru looks up, his amber eyes burning into you own watery (E/c) orbs. “It’s torture you know. Witnessing something like that happen. It’s one of the worst things to ever have to go through,” his voice is deeper than Kaoru's, not only naturally but because you know this is the truth. This is why they had done what they did.

They had both fallen in love with the same girl.

A girl who didn’t share either of their feelings.

A girl who had chosen someone else instead.

“So, you made a pact…,” you stepped closer to them, their powerful auras from being otherworldly, swirling around your smaller figure in a way that made you serenely calm upon contact. “To be born together is to die together.”

They must have felt immense relief at your understanding and positive answer. While taking one’s own life was something that hurt others more than yourself, it was based on reasons. On causes that created effects. Building blocks stacked too high and then sharply hit, to have them all crumble upon the floor.

“We know,” Hikaru said softly, we may have hurt the ones we cared for. But the pain was so great, we couldn’t help but do what we did. We can’t take it back and don’t want to. What has been done has been done.”

Kaoru nodded in agreement, wings moving subconsciously for a moment. “Death, while people depict it as lonely, is more than what we had imagined. It’s truly fun. We go where we wish, We do what we like,” he said with new excitement. The earlier depressive state had begun to lighten and be replaced with thoughts of better things. “We can prank humans and not get caught no matter how obvious we are. It’s not too bad when you have somebody by your side to always be there for you.”

Kaoru turned to Hikaru and they both smiled mischievously, though warmth and loyalty shined through it all. To see them so happy made your heart soar. Death to them was the next great adventure to them. It was not sad. It was no lonely. It was what they needed to let themselves and heal their broken hearts.

“But what about me,” you wondered, laughing at your next thought. “Were you going to prank me?”

“Maybe~,” they drawled together taking steps toward you. Hikaru snatched your right side while Kaoru snatched your left. “We initially wanted to form a contract.”

“A contract?” Your face was growing hotter by the second being between these two handsome boys.

“Yes,” they said. “A small contract. Nothing too extreme.”

“We wanted to find someone to play with,” Hikaru said. His words were very like him that you didn’t break out in a sweat because of it.

“Someone to keep additional company. They would get some benefits too though,” Kaoru finished.

“So if you held a contract with me, I would be able to give you conditions?” Your eyes wandered from Hikaru and Kaoru's as you spoke, wanting to give them both your full attention rather than staring at one the whole time as not to be rude.

“Yes,” they say in unison. “You already meet ours.”

“So,” said Hikaru.

“What are your conditions?” Kaoru said.

~To Be Continued~

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animalcrossingtownlore · 6 years

Text

Trial Captain Headcanons

ah. fuckin hell. i made this a few days ago but my dad walked in and said he needed to use my computer and i freaked the fuck out so i had to delete my history in 0000.1 seconds. um. not sure how seconds work.

llima:

- THIS boi is rich af. but sometimes he forces his parents to donate some of their money to some random charity at least every few weeks because he wants to have a good reputation. he is a trial captain, after all.

- is kind of a clean freak, and hates germs. so whenever he comes into the classroom, and a bunch of tiny germy disgusting toddlers crowd around his legs trying to get his attention he cringes deeply. never says anything tho.

- in the anime, its canon that he has fangirls. that should be canon in every version of llima tbh. but!!! consider this!!!! a GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY and PROUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD llima!!!

- its canon that he’s been to kalos before, so i imagine that llima fucking LOVES kalos. like, he really REALLY loves kalos. he feels emotionally connected to that place. that’s the region he’s moving to when he gets older. no exceptions

- visits all of the different islands of alola to check in on everybody. he tries to be nice like that. llima is a good neighbor. but let me tell you---

- surprise surprise children. llima. he makes mistakes too. and whenever he does make a mistake he cringes again.

- honestly? i like to think that llima tries his best to act nice and shit, but really he’s hiding a more rude interior inside him. do u even know who llima is? hes a little sassy. but also a little TOO perfect. i think he’s hiding something tbh.

Lana:

- is super best friends with mallow. they live in konikoni city together, so they’ve been friends since they were toddlers. and i mean. best best friends! they have sleepovers literally almost every day.

- lana is the second shortest trial captain. she used to feel a little insecure about being short.... until she saw wittle babby sophocles.

- so in ultra pokemon sun/moon, there were wishiwashi... but instead a shitty araquanid came out of nowhere. what if lana had actually no idea that would even happen. it just happened randomly. and she went with it. wow. that’s lana for you!

- LET’S BE HONEST. LANA IS THE BIGGEST PIECE OF SHIT EVER. SHE IS THE MOST CLEVER AND CUNNING BITCH. LANA KNOWS ALL OF THE TRICKS/PRANKS. IF FACT, SHE HAS PRANKED ALL OF THE TRIAL CAPTAINS, THE KAHUNAS, AND RANDOM TOURISTS IN ALOLA. NOBODY KNOWS WHO THE PRANKSTER IS. THERE IS A FUCKING WANTED WARRANT FOR THE PRANKSTER. THIS GIRL IS WANTED AND SHE FUCKING LOVES IT---

-even so, lana is the best big sister. her little twin sisters, harper and sarah, love her. for good reason, too. she takes care of them all the time and takes them everywhere.

- so in the english anime she has a super soft and sweet voice. ummmmm.... no bitches. lana has a kinda deep/somewhat dead inside voice that’s somehow calming. punch me. i won’t stop talking about this.

- takes morning swims, evening swims, mid-afternoon swims, midnight swims, has days where she just swims and fishes and that’s all she does.

Kiawe:

- In the anime kiawe has a little sister. And he IS protective of her. He IS a good brother. Omg. imagine kiawe seeing his little sister play with one of his fire-type pokemon, and he’s low-key scared the pokemon will burn her to ashes. Poor bby

- prefers dancing over any exercise ever, that’s a fact! but!!!! Kiawe plays “just dance” and he gets a perfect score ever gotdamn time i swear he does and he gets the best workout from it.

- What if kiawe is somewhat scared of lana because of her awesome as shit water types. Oh no. he knows he could never win-

- Y’know the hiker bitch??? Yeah him and kiawe are good friends. I can see them hanging out together. Like what if hiker bitch is lonely and kiawe is lonely too. So they are best friends. (but guys, you notice how lana and mallow live in one city? But kiawe is just in paniola town alone? There’s probs not many people in paniola town tbh)

- Kiawe is a dork and uses thousands of hair gel bottles to get his hair lookin so good.

- So you see those teeth on his necklace? they’re teeth from charizard. a charizard willingly gave kiawe some teeth so he could have a badass af necklace. Kiawe is good with pokemon especially big and dangerous ones

- Really loves those moments where he hangs out with the other trial captains, he loves the meetings. He has gone to every. Single. Meeting. Not even shitting you right now he has. It’s also because he’s responsible and shit

Mallow:

- DID YOU GUYS SEE THE ALOLAN BROCK EPISODE. I HAVE. MALLOW LOVES HER BROTHER BUT AT THE SAME TIME WISHES THAT HE WOULD GET A FUCKING LIFE ALREADY. AT LEAST IN HER MIND

- So! I feel like mallow really likes both the pokemon tsareena and the pokemon lurantis. She loves them both. I know in the anime she has a steenee, and in the games she gets a tsareena, so yeah its canon i guess. But you know what??? She loves lurantis as well, she knows it’s badass and she likes it as the totem pokemon.

- Loves trying all different hairstyles and she has a new hairstyle every day. Idfk if we never see it in the anime or the games or anywhere else. If i canon it its true bitches im a the fucking god of pokemon u assholes

- Has always had a taste for exotic flavors. As even a smol babby, she didn’t like “normal” food. It was bland to her. All of it was bland. So she made her picky tastes into food!!!

- …. Not everybody likes her food though. Right now she hasn’t learned to actually take criticism. She blocks it out whenever someone tries to criticize her food. She’ll learn when she’s older.

- Is kind of indecisive. She has trouble making decisions sometimes. “Hhmmm!!! Should i go to today’s meeting or not??? Well, gotta be responsible!!! Oh wait a sec! WHAT IF?? I JUST DIDNT GO? UH-”

- Her most big decision she will never fully decide on? Well, the question that i even ask myself everyday! Are boys cute… or are girls CUTER?! (yeah she will never decide on her sexuality)

Sophocles: (okay but i really like sophocles and i think if he existed me and him would be like best buds tbh)

- Okay, so i saw a headcanon on tumblr talking about how sophocles could possibly be autistic, because he’s extremely smart but can’t talk with people without having some kind of anxiety, and i think that might actually make sense! It’s obvious he has some kind of anxiety disorder or something, but i cant say whether he’s autistic or just anxious, since i haven’t done much research on autism. But! I hear it’s actually a very interesting subject, so maybe after some research i’ll make some headcanons on autistic! sophocles.

- Has always loved video games, and molayne was probably the one who got him into them.

- Not sure how to feel about his body. Like he knows he’s short and pale and he looks like a fucking baby. A lot of rude people have probably pointed it out to them before (most likely on the internet, or even ON FESTIVAL PLAZA THAT PLACE IS NOT FOR CHILDREN) and he hates it, but molayne (the pure man) has told him that being short has a lot of advantages and he actually looks a little cute with his baby face.

- togedemaru (togemaru) helps sophocles with his anxiety by letting sophocles pet him whenever he’s anxious and needs to calm down. Molayne was the one who got sophocles that pokemon in case molayne wasn’t around and sophocles had a panic attack and needed comfort

- He does love his food he’ll admit. (yes i like the anime shut up) he also loves mallow’s food!!! And her restaurant!!! And he goes there all the time. It’s like… his favorite place. Sometimes he stress eats but he tries not to do that ( t r i e s )

- He likes fidget spinners bitches and YOU CANT DO SHIT ABOUT IT

- He has a tumblr account. And nobody knows about but him. He posts memes on there and is shameless about it. kick me in the stomach nothing is changing my mind about this

Acerola:

- So yeah, she’s got parents. But she likes hanging out with uncle nanu more. Why? Because she knows he has too much alone time for himself and she knows it’s not healthy to be alone too much. ALSO SHE LOVES CATS AND NANU HAS PLENTY OF THOSE FURBALLS

- Speaking of uncle nanu, he was the one who taught her how to be such a good pokemon trainer. (she’s in the league for goodness sakes) nanu genuinely loves her. He’s never told her that, but acerola knows she’s charming <3

- Also she loves candles. they are spoopy. She likes spoopy purple candles yep

- Is really good friends with sophocles!! She’s surprisingly good with panic attacks and in their conversations she usually does the talking, much to sophocles relief.

- Can sew like a boss. Yes!!! She made her own dress!!! Well i mean… she doesn’t have many materials to work with. she only uses shitty rags or old clothes but still pulls it off. she is fabulous isn’t she

- The reason why she uses the thrifty megamart as her trial site? So she can steal the plushies they have there. I mean the plushies are old… but acerola isnt picky.

- Has a mimikyu for a pet but never uses it for battle

Mina:

- Has 100% dyed her hair before. Like imagine mina’s hair changing every few days and nobody notices beccause they’re used to it

- Art and pokemon battling aren’t her ONLY hobbies. I mean. Uh. wait lemme rethink this-

- She’s not the sterotypical depressed artist. She’s the sterotypical type of artist who doesn’t like their art most of the time but thinks everybody else’s art is amazing and deserves to be in a museum

- Her and hapu? Friends for life, man. There’s not too many people on poni island. Sometimes it can seem like NOBODY is on that island… like a ghost town tbh. Much less kids. Hapu and mina are most likely the only youngsters on poni island so they had to bond pretty quickly.

- She IS friends with llima tho, since llima likes to visit all the islands on alola they see each other sometimes. they probs dated for a while before llima discovered he was gay.

- Has paint on her clothes, her shoes, her bed, her room in general, her bag, her pokeballs, her pokemon-

- Has only gone to like… one trial captain meeting. Has never been to another one in her life. And she never will.

Dear god. I’ve been working on this for almost a fucking week. Something is wrong with me.

I think

I think i might be tRYING TO MAKE ACTUALLY GOOD HEADCANONS OH NO-

#pokemon #pokemon headcanons #pokemon sun #pokemon moon #pokemon sun and moon #llima #lana #kiawe #mallow #sophocles #acerola #mina

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bastardtravel · 6 years

Text

August 11, 2018. Manchester, New Hampshire.

After seven hours on the road, pausing only to explore an Old Ones cult site, storm a terrible castle, and eat distressingly dry corned beef at a Greek diner that still advertised one of their menu items as “Michael Jackson’s favorite grinder”, we were in dire need of respite.

Establishing a forward operating base was our first priority. For my part, I can sleep anywhere. My bonfire days in the Frozen North frequently necessitated pitching a $10 K-Mart tent over gravel, then drinking bottom-shelf whiskey until you didn’t realize you were sleeping in a puddle of rainwater and broken glass. That’s not a knack you lose. It’s like riding a bike. The Girl was always more discerning, and became doubly so after our experience in Phoenix with the inept criminal front halfway house hotel. We agreed that she can veto any of the lodgings I book. Sometimes, late at night, I’ll hold a flashlight under my chin and tell her spoOoOoky stories about hostels in Ireland.

She insisted on the airport Super 8. I was hoping to stay in a quaint deep woods motel called “Unsmiling Jed’s Sleepaway”, attached to sister business “Unsmiling Jed’s Discount Plastic Surgery Silo and Chili Kitchen”.

If I can’t protect it, I don’t deserve to have it. That goes double for life.

A friendly foreign woman checked us in at the Super 8, then proceeded into utter bafflement when I asked for a first aid kid. I chewed myself up pretty good climbing Bancroft’s Castle, and I’d spent the last half hour bleeding into an oily dog blanket to avoid ruining my upholstery. I’m pretty sure that’s how plagues start.

There were no band-aids here, or antiseptics, or possibly medicine as a concept. There was a three gallon tub of hand sanitizer. I thanked her for the offer but gently declined.

We went up to the third floor. The hallways were lined with people sitting on the carpet outside their rooms, shouting and smoking cigarettes. The room itself was clean and the air conditioning worked. All my boxes were checked. The bathroom reeked of weed, which some would interpret as a bonus. I scrubbed my wounds raw in the sink, tucked away the precious cargo of wine and peaches, and set out to investigate downtown Manchester.

Streetlight technology has not yet made its way to Manchester, so we spent twenty minutes missing exits in ocean-floor darkness. It looked worryingly like Wilkes-Barre, which is not where one would choose to vacation, were one sane.

Downtown erupted from nowhere like graphic pop-in on a video game running at its lowest resolution. One second you’re in leatherface country, with nothing breaking the abyssal darkness but the occasional half-broken Jiffy Lube sign. The next, you’re on vibrant neon market strip, replete with hipsters and the homeless.

We knew we had hit downtown proper when we passed by the “craft grilled cheese bistro”.

only programmers will understand!!!! like and reblog if u get it

Since I am an adult man, grilled cheese cannot be dinner. Both “gastropubs” we tried, despite their bitchin Greek mythology names, offered generic terrible burgers and a draft list that consisted of Coors Light.

“I’m so hungry,” the Girl told me. “I’m gonna die.”

“We all will,” I assured her. “Soon.”

Yelp claimed there was a brewery five blocks away. We walked off the only lit street, into absolute, encompassing blackness. It would’ve been spooky if I didn’t always kind of hope some Putty Patrol mook would lunge at me from the dark while I’m far away from home, having told no one where I’m going and left no paper trail.

There were no incidents. No one was murdered in self-defense. No one knows what we did last summer. The Stark Brewing Company was in the basement of a grim looking office complex, and it was vacant save for two other wanderers.

We sat at the bar and ordered a flight and an imperial stout. I was pushing for finding an actual restaurant, but the Girl ordered “Penne with vodka sauce”, which was not the right color, flavor, or texture to be anything but penne bolognese. The Girl didn’t seem to mind. I ate a pulled pork sandwich.

The beers were warm, but I didn’t care. It didn’t matter what the beers were, so long as they were beers. And not Coors Light. The brewery themed all of their beers off of dogs, for some reason, which I believe to be the ideal business model. According to the bartenders, the brewery had been open for 25 years, but hadn’t yet received their big boom. I was outraged. The beers were excellent, and would probably be even better if they weren’t room temperature, and the taps were not only named for specific dogs, but also provided pictures.

To say nothing of the bathroom, which was covered in sharpie beer lore.

The bartender and waitresses swore a lot more than you would normally expect in this context. The Girl maintains they were swearing at us. I disagreed.

“They were swearing <i>with</i> us,” I mansplained.

“We weren’t swearing,” she countered.

“But if we HAD been.”

As I’ve grown larger and more sinuous, I’ve tried to cut back on how often I cuss at strangers. Cultural relativism is the understanding that not everyone grew up among the coalcrackers, and good-natured oaths like “how the hell are you” or using the fuck-word as a conversational placeholder, while subjectively soothing, can set off fight-or-flight in the small, soft, and bourgeoisie.

I try to maintain direct proportionality between my barbarism and my well-heeledness. Neither the wait staff nor the other two customers shared my bond, and the middle-aged guy on my right proceeded to tell me how his hometown of Denver, Colorado is the greatest fuckin’ city in America, next to maybe Southern California. Which is not a city.

We talked about our homes and travels for a while, then I got my pulled pork sandwich and they left. The sandwich was slightly warmer than the beer, which beat the alternative.

An armada of children came into the bar.

“Oh, shit,” the woman tending bar said. They were visibly teenagers, and on the wrong side of it. They had that gangly awkwardness you get around fourteen or fifteen, and if they were trying to play it off, they were woefully bad at it. There were also nearly twenty of them. It looked like a field trip.

People in their twenties don’t travel in packs of more than six. It’s hard to transport a throng, unless you have a party bus, and why do you have a party bus when you’re twenty-eight? You’re twenty-eight and party buses have always been sad. Get a job. Also, it’s hard to get that many adults to agree on something.

It can be done. You can say, “Hey, adults, you want to do some drugs?” And in a sufficiently sized crowd, you’ll manage to pull twenty or so who will follow you to your house or whatever. This is called an “afterparty”. It doesn’t go to bars at 9pm.

Have you felt out the social zeitgeist recently? Look at a random handful of current memes and it’ll be pretty clear that most adults consider socialization to be a required burden, like paying emotional taxes. “Going out” is the price of living in a civilized society. You’re not going to scare up twenty people, then put them in a party bus, then take them to an abandoned bar half a mile outside of where the actual nightlife is.

“Hey, we’re just about to close,” the bartender said.

A reedy blonde in a top that seemed to consist mostly of straps screeched, “But your WEBSITE said you were open til ONE!”

Screeched.

The bar fell silent. Well, more silent. The Girl and I traded looks, her horror for my delight.

“Uhhhhhh,” the bartender said, but with excellent elocution, as though that were the word she had deliberately chosen. “Okay.”

They sat the itinerant mall food court in an enormous corner table, whereupon they requested shots.

The waitress who had sworn at/with us the least came back to the bar and said, “You guys said you were from Pennsylvania, right?”

We nodded.

“Can I see one of your licenses quick?”

She compared mine against the obviously fake ID one of the tweens had given her. After a moment she said, “Yeah, you can see, the font is different. And the picture looks like it’s photoshopped.”

“Yeah, no one’s license picture ever looks this good,” the Girl said, studying the fake ID.

“Except mine,” I added. They ignored me. I didn’t take it personally.

The waitresses disappeared into the back. Five minutes later, the only dude working at the place was gendered into being the bad cop. He sulked over to the teens.

“You guys gotta leave,” he said. “We know your ID’s fake. We’re not trying to get fined. You gotta go.”

For maximum accuracy, imagine this said in Toby’s voice from the Office. Shamefaced, the flash mob of children dispersed.

We paid for our room temperature beers and left the poor, foul-mouthed brewery to close at 9:30 on a Friday. The Girl and I accidentally stalked the battalion of teens through the street, but only because we were all moving back toward the only lights in the city, not unlike moths. They turned a corner and vanished, presumably to find an arcade or laser tag or some sort of large carousel.

The Girl and I followed the sounds of some obnoxious bros announcing, “It’s like a fahkin sketchy ally, dewd”.

It was, in fact, the least sketchy alley I’d ever been in. Cat Alley was the best lit venue in all of New Hampshire. It was clean and well-maintained, and it was covered less in graffiti and more in an outdoor art gallery dedicated to cats.

There were more, but they didn’t all warrant a picture.

Portland Pie Co loomed from the endless darkness like a beacon in the night, hearkening back to those days lost in Maine during the Great Lobster Drought of 2017. We split a bourbon barrel ale which did me in. It was bedtime.

On the way back, toward the end of the main drag, a man made of pure light rode by blasting EZ-Listenin from his Tron bicycle, also made of pure light.

I can’t prove he wasn’t Jesus.

Heartened, we returned to the hotel, where no one was smoking or yelling in the hallway anymore. Excellent.

Next stop, Portsmouth.

Love,

The Bastard

Into the Abyss August 11, 2018. Manchester, New Hampshire. After seven hours on the road, pausing only to explore an Old Ones cult site, storm a terrible castle, and eat distressingly dry corned beef at a Greek diner that still advertised one of their menu items as "Michael Jackson's favorite grinder", we were in dire need of respite.

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thelastpilot · 6 years

Text

Miss Me- One Shot

I was talking with @tides-miraculous who, while we were talking about criminal lack of Nino (and Adrien’s interaction with Nino), mentioned jokingly that Nino could straight up move to Morocco and no one would notice. And then I proceeded to send to a 4k word one shot about exactly that. So keep in mind this was all in a text long so it isnt fantastic and the grammar isn’t wonderful lol, but I wanted to post it anyways. (Tide’s commentary has been kept lol) ((also i know phones dont work on planes just let me have this))

Angsty Nino one shot below the cut

tides-miraculous

Boy could move to morocco tomorrow and you won't notice

thelastpilot

it would take adrien three days to notice he wasnt there

tides-miraculous

Adrien: *calls nino* " Hey, Nino you sick or something haven't seen u in a while

Nino: *hangs up*

thelastpilot

aw thats sad

aw that makes me really sad and i just had a whole idea for it

tides-miraculous

…listen

Why we gotta back the salt angsty

thelastpilot

bruh this is our thing, you say something sad and i make it worse

its always time for salt on the pain train

tides-miraculous

It's hella sad cuz man. Minus headcanons and crap we got nothing to back them up and be like "naah this shit ain't happening"

Cuz boi we know Nino cares. He got akumatized

For his frickin b-day but besides that nothing really on Adriens side

Not to mention all the hugs

Daamit Nino you're too good for him what is This?!!?

I'm so confused I'm trying to actually think or canon stuff to back them up and filtering fandom stuff and HOLY shit!??!

thelastpilot

He was thinking 3,000 miles. That was about his current guess. Nino awkwardly shifted the mishappen box in his arms to tap his phone awake from sleep mode, and looked for a moment at the photo of him and adrien on his lock screen. That was an old photo... Maybe 4,000 then. Nino tried to ignore it as he placed the last of his things in the car, taking off his hat and throwing it into the backseat. The car hadnt been started yet and his parents were still inside, and despite how crowded Paris was for the moment he was alone on the sidewalk. He tapped his phone again. He was bound to be halfway gone before anybody even realized

tides-miraculous

AAAA NO

NINO

U DEADASS GOING TO MAKE ME CRY

thelastpilot

He was 3,728 miles away before he got a text. He was nearly 4,000 before he got a call. and after that, the calls never stopped. Nino felt himself curling inward in the plane's seat as he screwed his eyes shut, furiously ignoring how his phone shook in his hands. Or maybe it was just him. He bitterly recalled the order to shut off his phone during flight and moved to unlock his phone, but even that was interrupted by another phone call.

He watched it vibrate for a while and let it go to voice mail. There were three there already

He was getting them from everyone now, Alya was sending the most texts, but Adrien was relentless with the phone calls. Out of everyone it was Adrien he felt the most betrayed by. Maybe he knew that...

tides-miraculous

AAAWWWW WHHAA

thelastpilot

Nino almost liked to picture Cat Noir showing up at the window of an empty apartment, he was just angry enough to take some kind of bitter feeling out of that. How he probably showed up to ask for a favor, wondering if he had been joking about leaving for good. His halfassed apology would have echoed back to him in the vacated rooms, the carpets dirty in the places where his family had walked for years and spotless in the spaces where his bed and desk used to be

Adrien called again

He didn't answer

tides-miraculous

FFFF

My heart I'm so sad

thelastpilot

"I can't talk. I'm on the plane" he found himself typing, interrupting the indication that Adrien was about to send another message. his finger hovered over the send icon, but he pressed it still. He wasn't sure what he was hoping for, what he could possible want, but his chest hurt and he could feel hot tracks of tears on his face. He was trying to be quiet, his parents asleep besides him, but his phone wouldn’t shut the hell up. It had always been silent before, it was only now that anybody seemed to care about reaching him

"The plane?" Adrien's text replied immediately. "You're serious? Nino please you have to be joking, I saw the place was empty but you just moved, you're joking"

"I've been joking for months now? Are you serious dude? You thought I was fucking lying?"

Nino wasn't sure what the point was in arguing but he wanted to argue. If he had the space he'd be screaming. "Nino," Adrien answered instantly, clearly waiting by his phone. "You're just gone? You're gone and you didn't call? you didn’t even say goodbye?"

tides-miraculous

I'm am currently in a quiet hallway at a cubicle absolute losing it

thelastpilot

That pain in his chest grew cold, and he shrunk even further in his solitary, cramped space 30,000 miles above the black ocean. and he typed out what he had been thinking the whole time. "I didn't think you'd even notice."

Adrien called again.

He didn't answer

tides-miraculous

Mother fuck

I am so sad

thelastpilot

He declined the call and typed out despite Adrien’s clearly frantic attempt to reply. "I've been packing for a week and a half. I was 3 hours into the PLANE RIDE before anyone even noticed. If you had even so much as spoken to me in the past two months maybe you would have fucking known about it. I tried to tell you and you were never fucking there. you dont get to do it now."

tides-miraculous

Oh shit go off nino

thelastpilot

Nothing. Adrien started to reply and then stopped. He started again but stopped again, and after awhile there was nothing. And nothing His phone went quiet, and it was familiar to him, but somehow felt even worse. The cabin of the plane was dim, and it was aisles and aisles of people facing forward into darkness with headphones in, numbly and distantly checked out from their surroundings as they waited and waited in perfect, straight lines. And he was alone in the crowded, dark space of strangers and cut off goodbyes and lost homes and silent phones. And he cried.

He clutched his phone and he cried

tides-miraculous

Lmao what the SHIT

Yea so Nino's heart died and I died

Thanks

thelastpilot

you're welcome im in pain also

tides-miraculous

Okay baby boy just go to Morocco fucking live it up. Idk fu slipped in his miraculous into his luggage and now his jade in morocco done

Come back for uni. Shits still bad between friends kinda but they bond as heroes

I'm trying to fix this

thelastpilot

i got a thing hold up

tides-miraculous

Please

thelastpilot

Agadir was a long way from home, and it felt really different in a lot of ways. Every way, honestly. It was by the ocean, which was new, and about over 50% of the people there didn’t speak a word of the only language he knew...so he found himself alone a lot. 'Nothing new there' he thought to himself bitterly. Moving in made it easier, he had something to do. He was out of school for the rest of the year and was probably going to start a year behind when enrollment happened again, so he had nowhere to go and no one to keep track of him. His father started his new job almost immediately, and his mother was wrapped up in adjusting. So when the few things he owned were set up and the last of the boxes were stored out of sight he would leave, and start to explore

About three months in he was running out of places to get lost, starting to recognize streets and having an easier time winding his way back to the dust colored box apartment that was 'home'. He would walk and someone might say something to him, but the words were rounded and he didn't understand them. He would then spout off the only Arabic he knew now. "I'm sorry, I don't understand" and he'd keep going

He was on the beach by himself, observing work day traffic on the raised streets when his phone rang

Nino sighed, shaking sand from his hands as he shifted his position to allow him to reach for his phone. He was working on figuring out where he was well enough to tell his mother when he looked at the screen, and his brow furrowed at the unfamiliar number

He sighed a second time, ready to rehearse his one line of arabic as he answered, saying plainly and without enthusiasm, "Hello?"

There was a sharp gasp, and then a harsh, familiar rush of desperate relief. "Oh god, you have the same number, yes PERFECT, thank god. Nino, holy crap I didn't think it would work"

Nino was frozen, the waves crashing a short distance away from him before he sputtered out, "ADRIEN?"

"Yes!!," his old best friends voice answered immediately, laughing uncomfortably, but still relieved. "It's me Nino. I- listen please don't hang up, I'm begging you give me just a second. Just thirty seconds of a call please."

There was silence, a thousand jagged emotions rooting Nino to the spot, but Adrien didn't wait for him, instead thinking aloud. "I can hear the waves. Are you near the water? Nino listen I-..." There was a silence, but in the need to not waste his half a minute he continued, the words rushed together. "You have every reason to hate me. I would hate me too. I DO hate me... but i can't do this. I can't just leave it knowing that I fucking did this. I made you think I don't care. I can't live with that. I need the chance to say it..."

"Adrien-…"

"No, I didnt come this far to have this talk over the phone, tell me where you are. I can be there in five minutes. Well, maybe a minute more I'm still near the airport-"

tides-miraculous

AAAWWWWW

thelastpilot

Nino heard something muffled, a female voice shouting something to him over the din of background noise mixing with his own ambience of the waves. There was another one as well, and then a garbled, distant message projected over speakers in arabic, and Nino felt his stomach drop out.

"Wait, you're fucking HERE?"

tides-miraculous

Yeas blond use that cash for good!!!!

thelastpilot

(Will continue in just a minute)

tides-miraculous

BRUH take your time

I'm still crying so everything's good

thelastpilot

"Where are you? the beach? there isn’t that much beach right how much area is that?" there was more distant talking, and adrien was clearly eager to move. "I cant take this phone with me. Give us just one chance, please nino wait for us we'll be right there." "US?!" he responded incredulously, but the line was already dead, the hang-up tone loud in his ear

he pulled it away from his face, staring at it in disbelief like perhaps it hadn't even happened. and just like that it was only him and the waves again, no other passerbys on his beach that morning

anyone who was on the beach might have seen something odd, streaks of color dashing past that weren't from around. a group of kids moving a little too desperately, dressed strangely as they fled to the coast. Nino wasn't sure what to do, getting increasingly nervous as he walked the shoreline, his hands balled up into fists in his pockets and his back to the north. minutes ticked by and his heartbeat was loud to him, and he felt that bitter, numb something crawling in his throat. all the harsh and hurt things he wanted to say

but as he passed beneath a weathered and abandoned dock he heard three impacts in the sand behind him, and those words died in his throat

he turned slowly... stalling by obsessing over the gradients in the sand. The pattern of broken wood, the stench of ocean draped around them and clinging to the dock. and three lost friends, letting magic fall from their shoulders and leaving them exposed in front of him

they all felt exposed, in the moment. at least, for once, the ground they stood on was even

despite all their intentions, and all of his pain, and all of the distance, no one said anything at first. They stood in the shadow of the dock and the kwamis milled nervously, shooting each other glances but not interfering.

the waves creeped up, and slipped away, and Nino watched them. after a while, he shook his head

tides-miraculous

THEY ALL CAME

DAMN GUYS

thelastpilot

"gangs all here..." he muttered quietly. After a moment he felt he had to add, "I admit... i didnt see this coming"

"We would have come sooner..." Marinette spoke quietly, her voice almost out of place in his head. It had been awhile since he had last spoken with her. "It was hard to orchestrate. But we were trying from the day you..." she hesitated

She was going to say 'left', but she stopped short, unsure of herself. Saying that he left didnt sound right, even though in literal terms it was the best way to describe it. but it made it sound like it had been his decision, that he left THEM. and that wasn't what happened

There was silence again and the three heroes seemed agonized, but unsure of themselves. They watched as well-worn anger passed across Nino's expression. "So what? What happens now, guys? Is this the part where you say you're sorry, and that’s all supposed to be good enough and then it’s just better? ..." his voice dropped, and he looked down into the sand. After a pause, "Coming all the way here is... not what I expected. but clearly nobody has any idea what to say."

The waves echoed in their small, dim space, and just looking at them standing there so unsure of themselves… it made him angry. His hands were balled into fists at his side and his body was tense. That horrible feeling chipped at his insides and it felt like it was suffocating him.

"Nino-" Adrien tried to speak next, his expression horribly pained, but Nino couldn't hear it. He spoke clearly enough by Nino realized in a flash of sharp pain that he was incapable of hearing it. He didn't want to see him dare to pretend. Like he was mocking him. "Shut up!" he cut him off, his voice hard and hitting adrien with enough force to push him back a step.

"I get it, okay!?" Nino spat at the three of them, trying and failing to keep his voice steady. "I understand. It fucking sucked but it always made sense to me. You're busy, you're all busy you have so much shit that you have to do, so much is expected and you have this whole other part of your lives that doesn’t involve me, but it involves each other doesn’t it? You have each other. That was enough for you, and I get it alright, I fucking always got it." He grit his teeth and he nailed Adrien to the spot just by looking at him... but his voice wavered. "It always made sense to me..."

tides-miraculous

On one hand I want them all to make up and hug it out but on the other... GO OFF NINO

thelastpilot

"You're important. You're important people with important shit and you got all caught up in everything else. In the fight, in the fucking powers in all the bullshit in EACH OTHER," he couldn’t help but add, throwing out a hand to gesture harshly between Marinette and Adrien. "You had other shit going on, you always did. You weren't bothered with me being there so I didn't bother you with leaving. I was surprised anybody even noticed."

He looked away from their expressions, his heart cracking just that much more. They looked... horrified, and he didnt want to see it. He didnt want to fucking make it easy for them. He was angry

tides-miraculous

NINOO

thelastpilot

"I was attatched to how it had been before, but looking back to some degree it was always like this and I get it. Once Alya joined in it was harder cause then I was the only one left behind all the time, but I got it. I'm not saying you should have stuck around. I'm not saying that you had to... i'm not even saying you owed me much of anything at all. But you owed me a goodbye..." His voice cracked and he folded slightly, fists uncurling so he could cross his arms, but it felt more like holding himself together. "Fucking listen to me... im sobbing about this shit again and I'm sick of it. But you fucking know what? out of all the people standing here I was not the fucking one who owed you all a goodbye. It wasn't me. You all left me behind and you did it way worse. You did it over MONTHS of just leaving me out and ignoring me and putting me off, if you were done with me you should have just said it...

The pause between his words was deafening. The dock creaked in the wind that picked up, the ocean churned as if it had been disturbed, and Nino, who was sick of crying over all the same things, cried. And he hated it. "I understand why you left me behind... but I don't want to hear you apologize for it. Because even if I'm stupid for it I still just wanted you guys to be alright. And if you are doing what you need to now then all the best... But if that picture didnt include me then you never should have pretended that it did. You made me feel like i was part of your 'team' but I fucking wasn’t and I GET IT, but im sick of pretending..." Nino raised a hand and rubbed harshly at the tears, angry that his hand was shaking. Angry that he kept crying like a child. Angry that this even still hurt

"I just wanted my fucking friends..." His voice shook again and he shrunk in on himself, standing on the coast line of a whole other country, out of place and lost and too far away from all of them, even when he was finally right there. "They told me we were leaving. they TOLD me they didnt ask and do you fucking know, how much I just wanted someone to tell. And I tried, for ALL OF YOU and there was no one there? cause there was never anyone there? I was losing EVERYTHING, I'm in this fucking place where I cant even speak to half the people here and i just want to go home and I cant and theres no POINT."

"I was freaking out and I just wanted my friends and you weren't there... so why the fuck did you bother? Whats the point of THIS!? Whats the fucking point of even coming when NO ONE HAS ANYTHING TO SAY"

there was a space there, so grand and torn that he couldnt see any way across it. and in a lot of ways he was looking for one. Nino wanted, in the deepest kind of honesty, just to go to his friends. He wanted to just pretend it was fine and be with them while they were there. He wanted someone to miss him, and he felt like no one did. He felt like no one ever did. He didn't want to look at their faces and play in to the fantasy in his head that they were sorry. He didnt want them to trick him into forgiving them. He didn't want to-

tides-miraculous

Yeas I read a line and think "wow my heart can't break anymore" then I read the next and I'm provide wrong

Just shit this is actually so heart breaking what the shit girl this is golden

tides-miraculous

"He wanted someone to miss him, and he felt no one did. He felt no one ever did" I AM SOBBING

thelastpilot

He felt them around him, Alya's face buried into his chest, Adrien reaching out, Marinette stumbling to be behind him. It was like something had broken further in that rift and people were falling, desperate to do anything. Part of him wanted to shake them off. But part of him held them too. He was too unstable to support their weight, all three of them speaking but the words not reaching him. As they noticed that he couldnt seem to hear they became more desperate, but Alya's words were unintelligible with tears and Adrien was too quiet, too far away. He felt like they were all sinking into the sand, and he murmured wretchedly. "I just wanted someone to miss me..."

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," it sounded in a chorus, bursting through their sentences wherever it could fit and each sounding different in their voices. They spoke over each other and Nino looked at none of them, shaking with anger but not falling. They lowered into the sand and they supported him, kneeling together under a battered, ruined dock and begging for him to listen.

"You're right..." it was one of the first things that caught his attention.

Nino looked over, the girls falling silent and looking to Adrien. His head was hung low, sand coating his jeans as he sat there, defeated. Miserable. When Adrien looked up he met Nino's eyes, and Nino could see how far down it went. It was like there was a pit behind his eyes that sank lower and lower, and he said it again

"You're right... and i'm sorry... I dont know how to say it... I don't have the right words to explain it. We were wrong... I was wrong. But I can't do this. I can't stand it Nino, seeing this. You're in the wrong place, and you were scared and I wasn't there and I wasn't ever fucking THERE and I didn't notice that you felt like this. And it's my fault. But i can't let you say what you said nino i cant stand it. I can't stand you saying that you understand why we pulled away, because there is no WHY," adrien shouted, his voice cracking and faltering. "You talk like we were right to do it! Fucking leave you behind because of what?! We have no excuse! There IS no excuse. I left my /best friend/ to feel like we were better off without you and I CANT, I- I cant..."

"Nino... I don't know how to make you believe that I love you, because I gave you a hundred reasons to believe that I don't. But god Nino I miss you so much... I miss you so fucking much and I don't know what to do."

"... you were fine without me before-"

"I wasnt! That isn't what that was! You're right, we got caught up in all this other shit, I took for granted that you would always be there but I never pulled away because of- because of ANY of that shit you said, like we were better or too busy for you, too important. I never hesitated to believe that you would always be there for me and I forgot to make sure that you knew the same... I never imagined you leaving because I couldn't picture us without you... I know you don't believe me- fuck," he bowed his head, a sob wracking through his chest and shaking him. "I never tried to think about what you being gone would feel like because I never thought it would happen. But then I was standing in your room with everything torn off the walls and I lost it, and I lost you and you were thousands of miles away... I have no excuse, there is no excuse... but I've been desperate to get here because I couldn't let you think that I didn't care. that i didn't notice...

Marinettes quiet voice shook and wavered, Nino's eyes turning to her as she clung to him and cried. "We should have been there... we should have-..." she repeated herself quietly, desperatly, and Alya spoke into his chest, her words thrumming against him and her tears wet against his skin as it soaked through the shirt. "I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry DJ- I, we..." she sobbed hard,folding against him. She turned her cheek to him and said something that stood out on its own. The second thing that truly stood out. "I love you. WE love you. We love you, I love you I'm sorry I'm sorry"

Marinette whispered something and she wrapped her arms around his stomach, her face turned into his back. Adrien was bent forward over himself, but he was reaching out, one hand on Nino. Marinettes quiet, broken, wretched chant chipped at him, his anger and hate and injustice slipping through his fingers... like sand in the ocean. "We're here... we're here... we're here."

tides-miraculous

AWWWWW

thelastpilot

He was so far away, kneeling by the ocean with something too big and heavy to survive in his chest. He was displaced, pulled away from his home and tossed to the side and left alone in a city with foreign grating words, and cold, stretching oceans. He was left alone with the knowledge that no one would come for him, and that no one would notice. And heard the only thing, he had been waiting so long to hear. "We're here... we're here... we're here"

~~end of story~~

tides-miraculous

WOOT MY HEART IS IN SHAMBLES

Girl u deadass just spat out a one shot like it was nothing

AND IT HURT

ALOT

thelastpilot

... i kinda hate the mental image of nino kneeling in the sand of a foreign coast and above him it just says "i just wanted someone to miss me..."

tides-miraculous

STOP

#tlp writes #nino lahiffe #adrien agreste #Marinette dupain-cheng #alya cesaire #one shot

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