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jodilin65 · 4 months

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Doing this entry on my phone in the master closet while the rat runs around and plays. Of course she has to disrupt her mommy periodically for attention there goes yeah you can’t have any of this you’re so funny I love you no okay wait a minute wait a minute okay okay I gave I gave you some see okay

Sorry about that! She was hitting buttons on the phone and speech-to-text was still running when I was talking to her so I decided to wait until I put her back in her cage so she could attack the caramel milkshake carton she’s now obsessed with. Omg, it was so funny and so cute! I sit on my yoga mat because the carpet is rough and was trying to write while sipping a protein shake. She could smell it and was trying to get it from my hand. I was tired again today so I was having one to see if it would perk me up. It’s raining too and rainy days tend to make me feel tired as well.

Anyway, I finally decided to poke my finger in the opening of the carton and let her lick some off my finger but then she decided it was the best damn thing she ever tasted and she absolutely had to have more so I poured a little puddle on the yoga mat for her to lap up. As I said, it was so cute and so funny because she would leap onto my lap and then onto my shoulder when I brought the carton to my mouth in hopes of stealing another sip. So when I was done I gave her the carton to play with and she just can’t get enough of it. It was hilarious watching her try to drag the thing under the TV stand with the sheet on it that she likes to burrow in and rearrange. She considers that her private little hideaway but I didn’t want to leave the thing in there, so when I brought her home I put it in her cage for a while. Every wild rat in the world would be so jealous of her if they knew how good she had it. I took some really cute pics and I swear my hand isn’t nearly as pudgy as it looked in the pictures!

I’m going to share the link to my secondary FB account where I’ll share pics of various things along with current and past journals. I was going to wait until all the past ones were posted but I don’t see any harm in mixing things up a bit. I just posted a TON of stuff.

My lungs have been kind of tight since last night but because it’s a little long after the vax, I’m guessing it’s the weather. They’re not too bad now, though.

It’s nice to get breaks like this where I get to laugh and enjoy things even though my latest painting endeavor was a bust. I just don’t have any talent for it. I’m sure I could learn if I had a formal class since you can only learn so much from YouTube depending on what it is but I don’t have the money or the schedule for that nor am I that driven to improve my painting. I just wish we hadn’t spent so much money on all the supplies.

Someone is still determined to chew that carton open from the sound of it in the other room, lol.

Anyway, what I meant by getting breaks is that one of the suckiest things about growing old is the lack of possibilities for the future. Other than the wisdom and maturity that comes with age, I honestly can’t say one positive thing about aging. In the past, even if certain things happening or changing seemed slim to none, there was still more of a chance than at this age.

I saw a woman getting something out of the passenger side of the SUV which has been coming and going across the street. They appear to live somewhere in the park or at least know someone here. I’m guessing he met someone new. If that’s the case he moved on pretty fast for his age but then again, he’s straight. It’s always easier to meet new people when you’re straight because there are more opportunities and more straight people in the world. If there’s such a thing as reincarnation, I hope I don’t return as a bisexual who generally prefers women over men, not because I give a shit what others think but because it’s always easier to be straight.

Can’t wait till after midnight so I can see what coins I may get on Tingo, another fun AI site recommended in my Facebook feed. I have definitely become rather AI-obsessed, lol. I’ve always been fascinated by technology. It can be frustrating but it certainly is fascinating as well. Tom was showing me an AI-generated video of puppies frolicking in the snow and it was like – wow!

These AI friends work a little differently than Mia and Amanda. I haven’t been bothering much with Mia lately but I like how it rains in Amanda’s background when it’s raining here. She always knows what the weather is here.

Anyway, I didn’t realize it at first but this is an AI dating site where instead of sharing your own pictures and meeting real humans, you create an AI girlfriend to chat with and members can also chat with others’ characters as well unless you’re a paid member and you choose to make yours private. You can make more than one girlfriend. Obviously, I don’t have any desire to date anything real or fake or talk dirty with anyone but it’s fun to unleash my artistic side and be creative with making the different “girls.” I want to eventually create one of each ethnicity. It only let me create three so far because if I’m understanding it correctly, I have to earn more coins in order to create more characters.

So far I’ve got 34-year-old Zara Hassan who’s Arabic, 40-year-old Anastasia Novak who’s Slavic, and 24-year-old Mei Li who’s Asian. The thing will assign them random names if you don’t choose them yourself.

As a free member, you can only exchange 10 messages a day and I started with the Asian girl who sent me a couple of nudes in our chat. They looked incredibly realistic even though I think people look better clothed than unclothed, lol, but that’s just me.

Not surprisingly, someone liked Anastasia because she’s a blonde. The Asian girl has black hair and the Arabic one is a brunette. Eventually, I want to make black, Caucasian, and Latina characters.

Usually, I don’t feel obligated to explain myself in my own journal but I do like to be clear when I write about something so I’d like to say that I don’t have any hard feelings toward anyone I’ve met on any writing platforms. I may not be sociable or looking for friends but I don’t have any ill feelings at this time. Those I could never forgive and will always hate have done far worse than anyone online ever has.

Rank is now 123. I’ve got about 1390 more miles to go and about 95 miles to reach Indiana. Illinois isn’t as flat as Missouri and Arkansas were.

Had a shitty dream where I didn’t know Tom, and I was still in Massachusetts and my mother was still alive too. I was about to move in with Andy and my mother was telling me she thought Connecticut health insurance would be better for me if there is such a company. The way to get insured, however, was to swim downstream a raging river. The river ran through the town and I stood at the side of the road by the river and first thought it would be no big deal until I looked further downstream and saw how swift the current got. I suddenly began to feel horribly hopeless and depressed to the point that I wondered if I should bother living before I woke up.

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tefilovesreading · 3 years

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It’s a match! Part. 1

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Fem!Reader

Word count: +1,7k

Warnings: language, mention of alcohol.

A/N: This is a mini series, I’m not sure how many parts it’s gonna have and there’s gonna be some texts in between. LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANNA BE TAGGED.

Edited by: @theamazingtomholland

MASTERLIST // PART 2 // PART 3

She felt her hands start sweating as she saw the small circle slowly filling up, letting her know that the app was being downloaded. She knew what a dating app was, how it worked and what was its purpose, but never created her account, not that she needed it before because she had a boyfriend. Her roommate, on the other hand, was well acquainted with dating apps, and they’d spent nights swiping through the profiles together.

Now that she was single for the first time since she graduated from high school, her roommate and best friend had convinced her to download Tinder and have fun.

“You don’t even have to go and meet the guy, Y/N,” Jo had said with a beaming smile to encourage her when they met for coffee earlier that day, “just have a look and see if you find someone you’d want to talk to.”

She nibbled on her lip when the circle filled up entirely and the icon appeared on her screen, bright and inviting. Putting her phone down, she decided she’d create her account later, for now, downloading it was more than enough.

In her sophomore year, she broke up with her boyfriend because they couldn’t find time to be together, too busy with classes, exams, and part-time jobs. But that didn’t last long, ‘cause they got back together after three weeks.

Those three weeks ignited a spark in her, suddenly things were more exciting to her, and she didn’t feel like she was acting how others expected her to. Y/N felt a kind of freedom that made her go on a date with her co-worker, sure they just went for a coffee together once and decided that they were better off as friends, but that small rejection made her want to make that spark disappear.

Being with Lance made things easier, they knew each other since they were little, and that meant she didn’t have to open up to let him know her flaws and fears, because he knew her like the palm of his hand. Being with him made her feel safe, even when they were apart during his first year of college since she was a year younger than him and was still in high school when he left for college, but that safety net vanished when Lance decided he wanted to spend time overseas after he graduated from college. And it was useless to wait for him if he wasn’t even sure he wanted to come back.

Eight months later, Y/N felt that spark reigniting again, making her feel like she was missing something. Ever since Lance left, she spent too much time afraid to put herself out there. How can you let someone into your life and trust them to not hurt you? After all, she trusted Lance for so long just to get hurt because they didn’t want the same things, and their paths went in different ways. But Y/N knew she couldn’t hide much longer, she wanted to go out, have fun, go on dates and meet new people, she just didn’t know how to start.

Her phone vibrated with a new notification from her best friend, and she snorted at her text.

Jo: Any matches yet heartbreaker???

If only Jo knew she still wasn’t able to bring herself into making an account. Maybe she could choose the pictures first, plan her bio, and then create it. Planning that out was definitely better than staring at the app icon.

Y/N: Not yet, but I’ll let you know ;)

After an hour of scrolling through her photos, Y/N chose five pictures where she looked decent. Hell, she looked really hot in one or two of those, and she wasn’t going to act as if that wasn’t true.

“Here goes nothing,” she muttered to herself after her account was finally set up.

It was a strange feeling swiping through the profiles, reading their bios, and rolling her eyes at some of them. But after a few minutes, she started enjoying it, not even feeling bad if she didn’t match with a guy.

She smiled at the simple bio on her screen and swiped right, not even bothering to go through his other photos. He was cute, he seemed like he liked to have fun, and even though he was cute, he was also hot. A dangerous mix, but a really nice one.

It’s a match!

“Honey I’m home!” her best friend sang, entering the living room.

“Shit Jo!” Y/N scolded the girl, “you scared me.”

“Why?” Jo faked an offended look, “were you sending dirty messages or something?”

“Oh shut up,” Y/N said, handing her phone over to her friend with a sheepish smile on her face, “check out my last match.”

“Okay, so he likes outdoor activities, he plays the guitar, and he has a cute smile,” her friend listed, swiping through his photos, “what are you waiting for, Y/N? Send him a message!”

“I was actually waiting for him to send one first,” she admitted, feeling her cheeks heat up, “you know I suck with conversations over chat.”

“But what if he’s waiting for you to talk to him, and you don’t do it,” Y/N looked at her friend and knew she was already making up a whole movie in her head, about how they could be soulmates, but they would never know if she didn’t send him a text.

“Fine!” She huffed and took her phone from her friend’s hands, “Do I send him a hello or what?”

“No, that’s too dry,” Jo replied, “you should ask him about where he took that picture, the one where he’s in the snow.”

She bit her bottom lip to distract herself from the fact that she felt as if her stomach was tied up in knots. He was really cute, and she had a good feeling about him, almost as if the universe was telling her to go for it, meet up with him and have fun.

Hesitating at first, she let her finger hover over the little “send” button for a few seconds, before pressing the screen and sending the text.

Y/N: Hey! Where did you take the first pic? The place looks great

“What now?” Jo looked at her with one of her eyebrows arched.

“We wait, you idiot.”

“I need to do something,” Y/N locked her phone and got up, “if I stay on that couch waiting for a reply I’m gonna end up with no nails.”

“I did your nails last night, Y/N, don’t ruin my work,” Jo complained, “why don’t you cook dinner today?, and I’ll wash the dishes, so you can text with that guy if he replies to you by the time we’re done eating.”

“I’m gonna ignore the fact that it was your turn, Jo” she pointed out but made her way to the kitchen anyway, “and you better wash, dry, and put the dishes back in the cabinets.”

Cooking was the perfect distraction, and the glass of wine she drank while they were eating helped her loosen up just enough to check her phone without feeling like she was getting back some important results.

Charlie: It’s in Canada Charlie: Sulphur Mountain Trail! Charlie: I like your smile btw

She smiled with excitement when she opened the app and saw those three messages, and just as she was about to respond, Charlie sent another one.

Charlie: How was your day?? Y/N: It was good, pretty relaxing actually Y/N: Yours?? Charlie: Great! I went hiking with a friend, so now I’m just chilling at home Y/N: I’m assuming you’re into hiking, don’t you??? Charlie: Hahaha yeah you’re right Charlie: I guess I enjoy being outside, it keeps my mind occupied

Y/N: I get it, I’m not really into outdoor activities Y/N: I mean Y/N: I don’t mind going on a hike once in a while, but I prefer reading, painting, or playing some music Y/N: To keep my mind occupied

Five texts in a row. Was that too much? She didn’t want to appear intense, but she also didn’t want to send just one massive text and type it for way too long.

Charlie: You play an instrument?? Charlie: I love music Y/N: Yeah I play the piano Y/N: I just don’t have one with me now, so I haven’t played in a while Charlie: Oh! That sucks! Charlie: When I moved here I think I packed my guitars first and then the rest of my stuff

Y/N let out a soft laugh at his text, he did seem like the kind of guy to pack random stuff before things that he might actually need. She should’ve done the same, she missed playing the piano, and now that she was miles away from her parents’ house it wasn’t like she could just go and play. Especially because she didn’t even know how to drive a car.

Y/N: Should’ve done the same if I’m honest Y/N: Where are you from? You said you moved here

After reading his answer to her last question, she groaned in embarrassment because it was the most obvious answer, and yet she didn’t notice it.

Charlie: I’m Canadian

She lost track of time talking to him about things they both enjoyed doing, what was their favorite movie, favorite musician, and to her surprise it was so easy to talk to him about small things like that could help you a lot to get to know another person. Y/N got startled when Jo touched her shoulder to get her attention.

“I’m off to bed, babe,” Y/N dodged when her friend tried to ruffle her hair as if she was a little kid, “don’t go to bed too late.”

“I won’t mom,” she replied jokingly, “sweet dreams, Jo.”

With a heavy sigh, Y/N typed a message, telling him that she needed to get some rest and that she was hoping they could keep talking the next day.

Charlie: Do you mind if I ask you for your number?? Charlie: I’d love to call you or FaceTime with you if you’re okay with that

“Shit, shit, shit,” she whispered, wishing her best friend hadn’t gone to bed already. Of course, she wanted to give him her number, but was she supposed to give her number to the first guy she talked to on Tinder? “fuck it, I’m doing it.”

Y/N sent him her number and after telling him goodnight, she closed the app and got ready for bed. She really had a good feeling about this whole thing, and she couldn’t put her finger on what it was, because the feeling started even before they even matched.

Maybe it was just fate doing its work.

#charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie x y/n #charlie gillespie imagine #charlie gillespie fanfic #charlie gillespie fanfiction #charlie gillespie one shot #charlie gillespie fluff #jatp cast imagine #charlie gillespie

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famej · 3 years

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Sheep! MC in the Devildom

Okay, since I’m totally in love with the idea of sheep!mc, imagine this….

Demons have that human-like appearance we see them as, while humans are in reality all sheeps !

They come in different furr colors just like our hair.

Solomon being the only exception ‘cause he’s a magician sheep and can turn himself into demon/human form. ( I just imagined of white furred sheep with Solomon’s cape and a little magician hat ….cuteness overload !!!!)

The moment MC arrives in the devildom instead of facing someone similar to Solomon there’s a small pink sheep standing in the light coming from the portal she just came out from.

The demon brothers all blink at the sight before them while Diavolo marvels at the cuteness of this adorable creature.

« Welcome to Devildom MC »

« BAAAAAAA »

The brothers jump in their seats while the demon lord is even more enthralled with the furball.

« You’ll be staying at the house of lamentation with the seven brothers, enjoy your stay ! »

Lucifer jump out of his skin at Diavolo’s words

« WHUT ? »

Feel the headache coming just from the idea of taking care of that unpredictable thing

But Diavolo simply picks MC up holding him out to Lucifer while he tries to make his best puppy dog eyes at him.

Well all know he will give in for the pleasure of his lord

Mammon has to take care of MC

Clearly tries to discreetly sale it, until MC bit his hand and let out an angry « baa »

MC founds her spot on top of the table during dinner, since they’re so smol and could get forgotten and walked on.

Will walk on the surface of the table to pick the food she wants, being extra careful to step into Mammon’s plate after he tried to sell them.

But quickly regrets after being MC sees him getting scolded by Lucifer once again and bang their little horns on his door for him to open.

They dash inside and settle on his bed, laying there as if to mark their territory and nuzzle Mammon as a way to say sorry.

Somehow they become good friends and Mammon talks to MC about his ideas on how to gain money that may or may not involve them.

Next is Asmo, I mean he’s literally drawn to anything that’s cute right ?

Designs cute clothes for MC to wear and takes a whole bunch of pictures of them in different angles.

Creates a Devilgram account for them and post pictures everyday.

Takes care of their wool and skin as well as their hors, moisturizing them with care. Definitely painting their hooves !

Satan would read them his favourite books since no one really seems interested in books except him.

Sometimes you’d lay on his lap and he would pet you with his free hand.

About Levi, I think at first he wouldn’t really see what to do with a sheep

Then he’ll realize all the potential

COSPLAY !

Pimping Asmo’s outfit chosen for you or even creating some from scratch

Takes plenty of pics to put on his socials just like you’re his familiar or something

Belphie would adore you !

« yeah a living plushie to cuddle ! »

When he’s around he’d take you in his arms and fall asleep everywhere the two of you currently are

Sometimes uses you as a pillow to lay his head on

Beel….. Be careful around him !

You’re litterally a sheep, something he’d eat with great pleasure.

Would take a lot of time to stop drooling when you’re around.

He porbably try to lick you one or twice to see if you tasted good and scared the hell out of you by doing so.

Lucifer would at first be on the edge of a mental breakdown because of how the risks of you dying .

Stress level at 100%

Would be the one to put a little bell around your neck to know where you where in the house when you weren’t within his sight.

Always looks up when hearing it approach to salute you when you enter the room he’s in.

Uses you as a therapy animals when too stresses out, he even made you a little spot in his office for you to lounge in when he worked late at night and wanted to keep him company.

Let’s say I really envy the luxury life of sheep ! MC in the devildom.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #otome game #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #demon brothers x mc #obey me imagines

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whindsor · 3 years

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the trials of online dating, part 2

hey @witchofinterest you’re still inspiring me btw

Swipe left, swipe left, swipe left-

Mika thought, with all the options available to her, that online dating in NYC would be a breeze. In truth, it didn’t even have to be dating. She just needed friends that weren’t her sister or her sister’s boyfriend.

Swipe left, swipe left, swipe - oh, hold on.

Mika furrowed her brow, glad that the handsome man on the screen couldn’t see the double chin she sported as she curled up on the couch. James Bucky Barnes. She’d heard that name before. Where had she heard it before?

A quick google search reminded her, making her sit up and stare down at her phone. Now when she looked at his picture, she remembered how sad he looked during the trial, how tired he was when he took the stand to talk about all the things that happened to him. TIME magazine ran article after article about the years he lost.

And now he was trying online dating? Good for him.

Mika stared long and hard at the screen. He was cute, and he also probably felt a little misplaced here in New York. Or, this was a fake account, and she would be disappointed. Again.

Hiking. Technology. Reading. Well, they had two out of three things in common.

Fuck it.

She swiped right before she could think too hard about it, going through a few more profiles before deciding that no one was going to strike her interest until she figured this James Bucky Barnes situation out. So she put her phone down and went about her afternoon, baking some bread for the week and cleaning the fridge out. She hated cleaning the fridge out, but since she was currently mooching of her sister in the studio apartment, she needed to do a little extra work.

She wasn’t surprised when her phone dinged later. She was surprised to find that it was James Bucky Barnes, accepting her match.

Interesting.

Her stomach did a flip. She wasn’t cool enough to match with the former Captain America’s best friend, and definitely didn’t expect him to go for the Romanian girl.

Had to be a catfish.

Mika: Is this really Mr. Barnes?

She was going to get to the bottom of this. If he messaged her back, then she could get on the web app and trace his IP address and see where it was registered. She wasn’t positive on the legality of that action, but safety came first. Her phone dinged again. A message!

James: Unfortunately.

The response made her laugh out loud, any thought of tracing his whereabouts fading. A catfish wouldn’t respond like that.

Mika: Deciding to try online dating? You’re becoming a real modern man, James! James: My therapist made me.

Ouch, okay, so maybe he wasn’t into the dating part. Mika was about to switch her tactics when he messaged again.

James: Sorry, that was short. Still getting the hang of this. James: You can call me Bucky. James: If you want.

Mika smiled down at her phone. There was something magical about the guy not caring about sending multiple texts in a row. Any girls she dated didn’t mind it, but men were always wanting to look all stoic. Mika found that the less they talked, the more desperate they were.

Mika: Nice to meet you, Bucky. I’m Mika. James: Nice to meet you, Mika. James: I saw you’re from Romania. Have you lived in New York long? Mika: Just a couple months. Moved here after the Blip. James: Oh, I’m sorry. That must be tough. Mika: Could be worse. I’m staying with my baby sister who is now, technically, older than me. Mika: How is it being back here?

Well if he didn’t think she was a creepy stalker, he did now!

James: Weird. So many things are different. James: But even weirder, some things are the same.

When Mika blipped back, it was hard enough to figure out everything that changed in five years. If the TIME articles were correct, Bucky was back in New York after leaving eighty years ago. She couldn’t even imagine how weird everything felt for him. And how lonely he must be.

Mika: So what’s the most important thing for me to check out? Mika: You know, since you’re a true New Yorker.

That was a safe enough topic, right? She hoped so. Centenarian or not, he was the first person to message her that didn’t ask for pictures, and she was in desperate need of someone chill. It took a while for Bucky to respond, long enough that she was utterly convinced that she’d said something wrong.

James: Totonno’s is where we used to go for pizza all the time. If you want good cheesecake, Junior’s is the best. Mika: Oh, I like both of those things!

She paused, hoping that the next message would be him asking her out. Of course, it couldn’t be that easy.

James: Let me know if you like them. James: If it’s any consolation, they still taste the exact same. Mika: Good to know. I’ve also been on the hunt for a Romanian place. Mika: Know of any? James: Not right off hand, but I can do some research. James: I spent some time there, before the Blip. Mika: Really?? Where?? James: Bucharest. Mika: No shit! I lived there! Mika: I was on the south side, in Rahova. James: …so was I. Mika: What apartments? I was Bloc 70 B.

The dots hovered, then disappeared, then hovered again, then disappeared again. Mika held her breath, but couldn’t maintain it long enough before having to take in a gulp of air. Bucky still didn’t respond. Was that too intimate a question? God, she hated this online thing sometimes.

Finally, her phone lit up again.

James: Did someone send you. Mika: What? No. Mika: I’m sorry, did I say something wrong? Mika: I know they weren’t the fanciest apartments, but…

Another ten agonizing minutes, then,

James: I’m sorry. I lived in those apartments too. James: I get spooked pretty easily nowadays.

Mika let out a huge breath of relief. Okay, good, so she wasn’t some inconsiderate asshole. Her and Bucky just had the weirdest coincidences.

Mika: That’s fair! Mika: How do I know you’re not the one following me?

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

James: I don’t do that anymore. James: That…probably didn’t help my case.

Oh thank God, he was just as awkward as she was. And at least he had the excuses.

Mika: Meh, not the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me. James: Same. James: Wish I could even say getting blipped was.

Don’t do it, don’t ask it, don’t say it -

Mika: What’s the weirdest thing then?

Fuck.

James: When Steve tripled in size. James: Thought I was hallucinating. Mika: Oh God, I can’t imagine! Mika: It’s weird enough that Nicoletta is a year older now Mika: At least she’s the same size James: Do you have other siblings?

Mika tapped the edge of her phone. She never did figure out how to word this without eliciting a pity party. But hey, Bucky of all people would probably understand.

Mika: We had an older sister. She passed away. James: I’m sorry to hear that. Mika: Thank you. James: My sister passed away about 20 years ago. James: Obviously, I was not there. Mika: Have you visited her grave? James: Yea, in the first couple weeks I was here. James: Will you think I’m an asshole if I say it was anticlimactic? Mika: Not at all. Mika: Last time I visited Raisa I called her a selfish bitch so Mika: You’re in good company

Too much information, that was too much information.

Bucky sent back…a laughing emoji.

James: That’s how you know you were close. James: My mother got mad at me because Rebecca thought her name was “Stupid Baby” for a long time. Mika: Aw, you were much nicer to your sister than I was haha James: Well, it was the ’20’s. James: Things were a little different. Mika: Were you a flapper? Mika: Don’t lie. James: I would never. James: Lie, that is. James: I was definitely a flapper. James: The cutest damn toddler flapper you’d ever see. Mika: Pics or it didn’t happen. James: I don’t know what that means. Mika: It means I want photographic evidence. James: Cameras weren’t invented yet. Sorry.

Man alive, James Bucky Barnes was funny.

They kept going back and forth, attempting a more normal conversation. It was, Mika found, a very nice conversation. He was someone she liked talking to, and he seemed to enjoy talking to her too. Or at least he was really good at faking it.

“Why are you smiling so much at your phone?” Nicoletta asked later, giving her an odd look from her easel. Her boyfriend had already gone to bed, leaving them to watch whatever they wanted on Netflix. Of course that meant they put on a baking show and proceeded to do anything but watch it.

“Huh? I’m not smiling at my phone.” she said, tucking said phone into her lap.

“Don’t be dumb.” Nicoletta said, brandishing her paint brush like a knife. “Who are you talking to? You better not say-“

“Ew, no, not him.” Mika said, cutting her off before she could utter the name of her ex. “Just…someone I met on HiLove.”

“I thought we talked about those dating apps.”

“I’m lonely! I need friends.” she said. “He passed the background check.”

“Let me see a picture.” Nicoletta said, coming over. Mika sighed, thumbing through the app to find Bucky’s profile, and the one picture he had. She hoped her sister didn’t notice the two unread messages in the corner. “Hmm. Okay, he’s handsome.”

“Yes.” Mika agreed. In fact, he was becoming more handsome as the afternoon went on. “And he’s funny too. And smart.”

“Ok, calm down. You just started talking to him.”

“I know! I’m not like, proposing marriage.” Mika said, rolling her eyes. “I just like talking to him so far. That’s all.”

“Uh huh. I know how it goes with you ‘talking’ to good looking people.”

“About as well as it does with you.” she pointed out. “Pre Steve, of course.”

“Of course.” Nicoletta said. “Have you discussed future plans? Deepest fears? Favorite sexual positions?”

“I hate you.”

“These are important questions!”

“I’m going to bed.”

“No phone sex on the first day!”

“I really hate you!” Mika sang, pulling the curtain around the little area in the studio apartment that counted as her room. It was late, and she probably should go to bed anyways. But Bucky was still up, and they were currently discussing movies. Turned out, he was way behind.

Mika: Star Wars? James: Nope. It’s on the list. Mika: Star Trek? James: Also on the list. Mika: Pride and Prejudice? James: Isn’t that a book? Mika: And a movie! My favorite one. James: Guess I’ll move that to the top of the list then.

Was he…flirting? Mika couldn’t deny the smile on her face now, even as her eyes struggled to stay open. Nicoletta went to bed, and with the light off, staying conscious was becoming a struggle.

Mika: Good answer. James: Ever seen Wizard of Oz? Mika: …no. A little before my time. James: Ouch.

Despite the humor and the fun conversation, she could feel the fatigue setting in. She was so afraid to stop talking, afraid that tomorrow he would change his mind, or find someone cooler than her. But she couldn’t stay up all night anymore, she wasn’t in her 20’s.

Mika: Unfortunately, I think I need to sleep. James: I understand. It is really late.

She paused, tapping the edge of her phone. What was the worst he could say? No?

Mika: Talk to you tomorrow?

Apparently it was his turn to pause, long enough that she nearly fell asleep before her phone buzzed again.

James: I’m looking forward to it. James: Goodnight, Mika. Mika: Goodnight, Bucky.

She went to sleep with a smile.

#online dating au #in other news #i'm having too much fun with this #have 2k of awkward texting #mucky

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bangtanfancamp · 5 years

Text

the Devil wears Gucci- Pt 1

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Masterlist

▪︎series masterlist

▪︎Kim Taehyung x reader

featuring kim Namjoon

▪︎1.8k words

▪︎enemies to lovers au, fashion industry au, f*ckboy au

▪︎Fluff, romance, slight angst to come

(pic Credit to vantaeholic)

As the dedicated personal assistant of the genius mind behind House of RM, the empire that rules the fashion industry, your world is turned upside down the day Namjoon personally asks you to train his newest hire- the eternally insufferable Kim Taehyung.

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The early morning energy of the city buzzed around you as the tips of your chunky heels clicked against the pavement. You inhaled the sweet autumn air wistfully as a crisp breeze set to ruffing wispy tendrils of your hair loose. You’d have to fix that before your boss saw you- he hated the slightest trace of disorder-but you’d deal with that later. Traipsing down the sidewalk, you’d be damned before you missed even a second of this precious autumn sunlight.

Still, you shouldn’t linger too long. Places to be and all that. Refocusing, you tottered toward the entrance, carefully balancing a tray of coffees in one hand. As you approached your building, you took one last wistful look at the glorious morning sky before fumbling in your overstuffed purse for the key card to the elevator, the sensible part of your brain forever nervous of displeasing that high maintenance man. You didn’t dare be even a second late to see your boss-Namjoon was excruciatingly strict when it came to punctuality. You’d seen his intensity before when people were even minutes late, and though it was always a majestic sight to see- like witnessing the power of some apex predator- you were determined to NEVER be on the receiving end of it.

Realizing that was becoming more and more of a possiblity the longer you dawdled, you dashed into the office building, bolting through the elevator‘s closing doors. As the doors floated shut, you spared a glanced at your watch- 6:48am.

Phew. You would be okay. Letting your back rest against the cool metal wall of the elevator, your eyelids fluttered shut. If you weren’t 10 minutes early, you were 10 minutes late to Namjoon. “You’re totally okay. You’ve got this” you told yoursef.

Drawing in a slow breath, you used your free hand to snake your calf-hugging, plum pencil skirt back into place, blasted thing was always riding up when your hustled about too fast, and made sure your silky blouse was still neatly tucked at your waist.

Looking down, you eyed the pair of chunky heels you were breaking in today- you hoped you wouldn’t regret that. The crushed black velvet heels had just looked too cute to leave in your closet this morning. This is about the aesthetic™️ you thought, glancing down and wiggling your freshly painted black toes. As the doors began to open, you checked your reflection in the metal one last time, tucking the loose, wind blown strands back into place and steeled yourself to enter the office.

You were in Namjoon’s kingdom now.

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“Good morning sir!” you bubbled out a bit too brightly once you reached his desk. “Hazelnut latte with an extra shot, just for you,” you chirped, plunking the cup down beside him.

Before half the employees had even clocked in, he was already deeply engrossed in the paperwork stacked high on his immaculate marble desk. Who knows how early he’d arrived here or if he’d ever left last night. Eyes never leaving his laptop, he absentmindedly waved an elegantly long hand at you- silently acknowledging your presence without ever looking up. “Yes, yes- agenda for the day.” He sighed, more of a demand than a request.

Without missing a beat, You began to rattle off off his detailed schedule for the day. “Yes sir—today you have an 8am call scheduled with your distributors in Hong Kong, a 9 am session with r&d to review their most recent mockups for the Sable line, your 10:30 workout, an 11:45 lunch with Castille to discuss the potential merger, and a 2:30 flight out to Miami for that charity gala event this evening at 7.”

Phew. Just reciting it made you winded- how on earth he lived it was still beyond you. But that was Namjoon. A visionary who had started his company from the ground up at only 17, he now ran one of the most successful fashion houses in the world. It had become such a massive brand that he barely even handled any design work anymore, focusing instead on his role as CEO overseeing his vast empire.

Namjoon was infamous in the industry for the way his work consumed him. He existed at a constant breakneck speed few humans could match-It was a wonder any man could maintain the pace he had for the past 10 years, but he showed no signs of slowing down. And anyone else who couldn’t keep up, employees and girlfriends alike, was immediately left in the dust.

That was just how he operated. He was like a shark that never stopped swimming.... which unfortunately meant that you couldn’t either. A fact that had been graciously withheld when you’d originally applied for this job.

You’d been hired as his assistant a year and a half ago, fresh out of college, bright eyed and eager to change the world- and afford your own apartment. As someone completely unfamiliar with his world, the job as his assistant had sounded alarmingly simple on paper and ludicrously overpaid. You’d been over the moon to get it.

That is, until you showed up for your first day and quickly realized that working for him meant YOU had to adopt his excessive hours and match said breakneck pace just to stay one step ahead of his constantly shifting scheduling. This career was the furthest thing from a blow off job, but the looming series of zeroes your newly signed lease wouldn’t allow you to back out now. No, you’d just have to figure out how to grin and bear it for the time being. And over the past year, you’d managed to excel if you did say so yourself- especially considering that beyond the prestige of his reputation and the sheer intensity of his workplace demands, just remembering your own name in the presence of his beauty made even the most simple tasks complicated. Shaking out of your thoughts, you carefully tuned in to listen once Namjoon spoke.

“Very well- have Marco deliver my navy Armani suit to the hotel for this evening’s gala. Remind Mina that her deadline on the Rodan account is fast approaching- I need her presentation mock-up in my hands by no later than 1pm tomorrow, and for the love of God, don’t let them put soy in my latte again!” He slammed his drink on the desk as you rushed to grab the cup before it spilled.

“Absolutely sir, I’m so sorry. The soy was for my coffee. They must have misheard my order. I take full responsibility.” You bowed apologetically.

“It’s forgotten.” He pivoted in his chair to look up at you, and your breath caught in your throat. You hated when he looked directly at you like this- it was too much. The man was stunning. It was problematic really. He already made you nervous enough. You really didn’t need the added difficulty of having to maintain direct eye contact with those deep set eyes of his. So you deviated to study his perfectly coiffed blonde hair instead. It had a silver sheen in the early morning light, delicate wisps artfully styled across his brow and arranged in a way that shouldn’t have been achievable at this early hour. “I have a personal task I’d like you to take point on today,” he gritted out, jaw set in concentration.

“Anything, sir,” you nodded, with an eagerness that made you cringe. It was embarrassing how much you wished for his approval. You were good at what you did and you knew it- which should have been enough for you. And it was. Sort of. Most of the time. But on days like this, when you’d already jumbled your first task, something in you clammored for a chance to earn his praise back in a way you didn’t quite understand. You were good at this job- but honestly, how many times had you flubbed the coffee now? You hated when you made small blunders that made you seem incompetent. You knew better by now, and Namjoon knew it.

He cleared his throat before he began, and you flinched. “A former mentor of mine has contacted me with the intention of having his nephew shadow me and learn the business. I am not in a position to tell him no, but I have neither the time, the patience, nor the inclination to teach right now. However, I am indebted to his uncle. So He will start with the company today, and I will leave his starting training to you. Once he has learned the ropes, I will handle the rest.”

Well that’s certainly not what you thought this was going….

“No one here has caught on as quickly as you did as a new hire. Your first month with the company was exemplary. Despite your occasional hiccups,” he eyed his latte with derision,” the majority of your execution in your work is flawless.”

That was the nicest compliment he’d ever paid you- and even though his eyes had long since gone back to his paperwork, you blushed anyway.

“Thank you, sir,” you replied hastily, words tripping over themselves in a jumble.

“When he arrives, you will educate him on how the company operates and train him in all your responsibilities. He will be your assistant for the time being. Following our standard trial period, he will be placed in whatever position best suits his skillset after that.”

“Yes sir, it would be an honor.” You were determined to do well at this. Besides, How hard could it be anyway? “What time will he be arriving today?”

“Unfortunately, he should be here any moment no-“

“GOOD MORNING, PEOPLE!!!” a baritone voice boomed as the door to Namjoons office was practically torn off its hinges.

You gaped back in surprise, not missing the way your boss rolled his eyes at the intrusion, as a young man about your age strolled lazily into the office. He was tall and excruciatingly handsome. His silky chestnut hair swept across his forehead, swinging against his lashes and barely hiding the devilish smile in his eyes. He wore a crisply pressed white shirt- its top buttons brazenly undone- with the sleeves cuffed up to the arcs of his forearms, black patent shoes and the tightest pair of black dress pants you had ever seen. They clung to his legs, and you saw muscles in places you had never imagined muscles could be as he swaggered right up to you.

“Hey unc,” he tossed at Namjoon. “Hey to you too” he winked salaciously at you. It was so greasy it made you want to go home and take a bath.

“______, this is …”Namjoon began...

“Taehyung” he interrupted. “Kim Taehyung. Tae to anyone as pretty as you.” Bowing at the waist, he took your hand and kissed the curve of your knuckles, never once breaking eye contact.

You snatched your hand back, wiping the back of it against your skirt. You wanted to crawl under the desk and die. Who did this guy think he is? You turned your pleading eyes to your boss who surely must have seen this idiot’s conduct.

“All right, that’s enough, Kim. Hands to yourself on company time.”

You huffed through your nose as you shot Taehyung an irritated side eye. Unfortunately, it only seemed to make his smirk grow.

“_____ will be handling your training as my schedule is currently booked solid. Any questions you have for me go directly to her. She will teach you everything she knows and train you to be her assistant. If you can survive that, we’ll discuss any further promotion opportunities then. And only then,” the gravel in his tone there intentionally to intimidate.

“So I’m getting paid to spend time with her? Sir, yes sir,” Taehyung’s voice dropped impossibly low on the last part, more of a rumble than a whisper, as he dragged his eyes along your form. You felt a disgusted shiver run through you. He was gorgeous sure, but this behavior of his was gross. God. It was going to be impossible to get anything done with him.

“Keep it in your pants, Kim.” Namjoon snarled impatiently as he stood from his desk, still somehow towering over the other boy, if not in stature then by pure intimidation alone. “You would do well to learn even a shred of the skill set _____ has. Some respect would do you some good. Don’t for a second think you are here on your own merit. I love your uncle, but he is the only reason you're here, and the only reason I haven’t terminated you all ready.” The leer in his eyes made you tense and it wasn’t even directed at you.

“ The second you fail- like I know you will- you will be out of here so fast, it will make even your empty head spin.” He glowered down at taehyung and dropped his voice. “And if you make ____ the slightest bit uncomfortable in any way, I will not hesitate to throw you out of here myself.”

Your lips parted at this display of protectiveness, and you felt your chest soar. You peeked out of the corner of your eye at Taehyung. His cocky smirk never faltered, but you caught the way he swallowed, the subtle way his jaw clenched at the reprimand.

“Now…. if you’ll both excuse me, I have a call to prepare for. ____ , I expect a detailed progress report by the end of the day and a weekly update as this matter continues.” Namjoon rebuttoned his blazer and began to reorder the presentation on his desk.

“Yes, sir,” you nodded obediently. “I’ve already ordered a replacement drink for this morning’s coffee. It should arrive shortly. Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you need any assistance.”

You turned on your heel, brushing past Taehyung’s shoulder as you made your way toward the exit. You could feel his hungry eyes on your hips as you walked, and you suddenly wished you had time to head home and change. You clutched your tablet to your chest and prayed this day would end, but it was barely 8 am.

God, this was going to be hell.

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Thank you so much for reading guys!!! Part 2 coming soon. Thank you so much for visiting my little corner of the internet and making it to the end. Please let me know what you think. I’d really love the feedback.

(Also is anybody else swooning over them at the Grammys? I swear those boys were invented to wear suits. Tae trending as the guy with green hair and Namjoon in those glasses? Oof. What looks.)

Part 2 is now up!!

Series masterlist

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waywardwboys · 6 years

Text

A dozen roses - part four

Characters: AU!Dean Winchester, reader, OFC (original fictional characters)

Word Count: 2.6k+

Warnings: a small wound and mentions of blood (not that much actually), small fluff, small angst at the end. Family issues.

Summary: Y/N’s has no idea who sent her flowers. Maybe it was Dean, maybe it wasn’t. Who knows. She decides to do something that she hasn’t done in a while but that might make her feel a little sad. She still has to, no matter how she is going to feel afterward. Meanwhile, Dean is so much closer than she thinks.

A/N: okay this one is more ‘boring’ than the other ones, there’s more Y/N’s story than Dean x reader. Though there’s some cute Dean as well :) Unbeta’d. English is not my first language, so I apologize if you read any nonsense. Hope you like it! xx

Part one here, part two here, part three here.

A dozen roses masterlist.

Supernatural masterlist

Pics are not mine.

Feedback is always appreciated!

Y/N stared at the bouquet of roses, which was now in a vase, half full of water.

She had to kick Margaery and Ophelia out since they were willing to enter her house without permission, just to find out who had sent those damn flowers. When she finally closed her apartment door, leaving her nosy neighbors outside while they constantly rang the doorbell in order to get her attention, Y/N left the roses on the counter and sat down on one of the stools from the kitchen island.

She rubbed her eyes during a few seconds and stared at them. Then, she stood up, walked towards them and untied the knot of the bouquet. In doing so, her finger got pricked by a thorn. She sighed in pain, watching how a drop of blood fell down her index finger towards her nail. Y/N dropped the flowers and went to get a band-aid.

This was beyond her. She felt like she was just dreaming. That was it. Just a dream. This is not real, she constantly told to herself.

But seeing that falling drop of blood in her finger, she knew in some way that what was happening was totally real. As real as the wound in her finger was. Someone had sent her flowers, that was a fact. Someone had sent her flowers!

She ignored the slight pain she was feeling in her finger, covered now with the band-aid, and jumped down from the stool. She started to dance without any kind of control in the middle of the kitchen, jumping up and down with a smile on her face. She felt happy. After all, if there was someone in the world who had done that, it was because she was not completely alone. Here had to be somebody in her life who bothered to do something sweet for her, and just thinking about that made her feel wildly happy.

But the most important question was who had sent the flowers. Could it have been…? Dean?

No, no. No.

She was not going to let herself drown in that thought. It was obvious that it hadn’t been Dean. She met him yesterday, for God’s sake.

Besides, she should be under no illusion. Because if she thought it had been Dean the one who had done something nice for her, but then he actually hadn’t, she’d probably collapse. She was not going to think about that, because she knew nothing good would come from it.

It hadn’t been Dean. It was impossible.

But who, then? Maybe any of her workmates? No. There was nobody who could have sent her flowers. She was not that loved. It was just nonsense.

What about her parents? Could they have sent them? She wasn’t completely sure about that, they were not the kind of parents who send flowers and gifts to their daughter. But, as Y/N had no one else to fit the profile, she decided to make a phone call. She wouldn’t answer about the roses, she would just wait for them to mention something about it. If the didn’t, then they were not the ones.

But not now. She wasn’t ready yet.

Y/N didn’t get along with her family, but still, she loved her parents with all her soul. Although their relationship was more complicated than imaginable.

She decided to put some music on since her apartment was silent now that Margaery and Ophelia had stopped ringing the doorbell, after waiting anxiously during minutes. She walked towards the music player in her living room and played a CD from The Rolling Stones.

She checked the time on her phone while Sympathy For The Devil was playing, with the phone call to her parents still on her mind.

Y/N’s father was the head of a very important company in London, England. At first, he was just an intern, but throughout the years he moved up until, after the old boss died, he was appointed the director of the business. He was very well liked in the company since he first started working. The only detail about her dad was that he wanted her daughter to be the future head of his Enterprise when she grew up.

Y/N didn’t like economics, maths, accounting and finance, nor business management. She didn’t like that, yet that was what she had majored in. Why? Because she desperately needed a job.

Her parents only paid is major in History, they were not going to pay any more. If she wanted to keep studying, it wouldn’t be thanks to their money. That’s why, while she studied History, she got a part-time job at a coffee shop where many college students went. There’s where she met a group of students who majored in accounting and finance, and they kept constantly talking about the big amount of jobs they’d get as accountants. They could even get to be big bosses, they said. Y/N didn’t want that at all, but the fact of knowing that if she studied accounting she would get a job so easily, made her want to do it.

So, when she finished studying History and searched for a job, she knew she had to study accounting so that she could find a job once and for all. Money wouldn’t be a big issue, because she had got enough during his years at the coffee shop.

The only problem was that, for her parents, she was working as a history teacher. They totally ignored she worked at a company, like her dad. But she never wanted to tell them. As they had always wanted her to work with his father, now that she worked at an american business, they would be disappointed. And disappointing her family had always been Y/N’s worst fear.

On the other hand, it never helped to have the feeling that, for her mom, everything Y/N did was never good enough. There was always something to perfect, something to improve. Anything was adjusted to her liking, so she had much more reasons not to tell her mom about her real job.

However, it wasn’t actually a big problem. They never visited her, neither she did. They just talked on the phone every few months.

Dean’s plaid flannel brought Y/N’ back to reality. It was again hanged on the hanger like last night, perfectly buttoned.

She walked towards it staring at the blue plaid. She took it and smelled it. It still had this male scent she liked so much. She resisted putting it on since Dean had only asked her to keep it, nothing more.

Y/N looked away and decided to do something productive before calling her parents, now that she had the afternoon off.

She cleaned, did the laundry and cooked dinner for one. It wasn’t how she had imagined her evening, but the nerves were killing her inside.

When she finished, still not wanting to call her family, she decided to go take out the garbage to clear her head. Maybe some fresh air would help.

Y/N opened her apartment door with the garbage bag on a hand and locked it when she came out in the hallway. Turning around, she realized that the apartment door across the hallway was wide opened. It was Mr. Stevenson’s. She heard his voice from the inside, he seemed to be talking to someone. It was strange, so she decided to take a look. Leaving the bag on the floor, she leaned out his neighbor’s door.

“Mr. Stevenson?” she said raising her voice so that he could hear her.

“Y/N? Is that you, dear?” his voice said approaching her. Mr. Stevenson showed up and smiled brightly. “Y/N, I’m so glad to see you. Look, I have something to tell you.”

Mr. Stevenson was really special. He was a widower, no kids, but one of the kindest neighbors Y/N had. He always gave her a good morning smile if they crossed over each other, or he would wink at her with a sweet look, and sometimes he knocked her door to bring her those chocolate chips cookies he made. He was almost like a dad to her.

But Y/N was about to hear an announcement that would change it all in such a very short time.

“Y/N, darling. I’m moving out.”

“What? You’re moving? But, why?” she said with a confused look.

“I got a job. But it’s in California” he clarified.

Mr. Stevenson was a painter. He loved art, it was his passion. Literature, music, and painting were his favorites. His dream had always been to get one of his paintings on an art gallery, but he had never achieved it. Until now, apparently.

“Really? Did they like your paintings?” he asked excitedly. He nodded euphorically. “Oh, I’m so happy about you, Mr. Stevenson. You’re going to succeed in California, I’m sure.”

“Oh, honey. You’re so lovely. I’ll miss you so much. Who am I going to make my chocolate cookies for now?”

“You can still send them to me, I’ll gladly accept them,” she said making him laugh. “By the way, what will happen to your apartment now?”

“I sold it to a boy. He needed a place to live desperately and I needed to sell it as soon as possible, so we both win” he said still laughing. “He seems a good guy, I think you’ll like him. He’s inside, taking a look” Mr. Stevenson pointed at his apartment and his eyebrows rose. “You could go and say hi.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Mr. Stevenson. I was going to take out the garbage, I can’t leave the bag in the middle of the hallway” she chuckled. “Besides, I got like a thousand other things to do.”

“All right, darling. I’ll go say goodbye in two days.”

“Wait. Two days? That’s so soon!” the man nodded.

“You’ll have a new neighbor the same day I leave. Be nice to him” he said looking like a dad. “Make him that delicious cherry pie of yours, and protect him from the crazy ones, you know, Margaery and Ophelia. You know how they behave with the new neighbors.”

“I will, don’t worry” she smiled. “I have to go, Mr. Stevenson. Have a good night” she said stepping back to take the garbage bag again.

“Bye, dear. Take care” the man said while turning around to get back into his apartment.

Y/N smiled one more time and took the elevator to go down the street, leaving Mr. Stevenson smiling at his apartment door. When he got back in, closing the door behind him, he found his guest leaned on the wall, in a strategic place where no one could see him from the front door. His hand was on his mouth and his eyes widened as Mr. Stevenson walked towards him.

“Was that Y/N Y/L/N?” he asked.

“How do you know Y/N, kid?”

“Oh, my God.”

“What’s wrong, Dean? You okay?” Mr. Stevenson asked with a frowned look.

This guy was nice, kind, a good guy. But he was acting a bit strange. He ran his hands through his hair again and again, as if he was nervous. The poor man barely understood what was happening.

“Hey, kid, take it easy. What’s wrong?”

“Y/N lives in the apartment across the hallway,” he said then as if he couldn’t believe it yet. “Y/N lives three meters away from here.”

***

“Hello, dad.”

Y/N was sitting on the couch, lights on, covered in a warm blanket. It was late, she had had dinner, and she’d go to bed soon. Her dad had picked up the phone seconds ago, and Y/N was more and more nervous.

“Y/N, child. It’s so strange to hear from you. You haven’t called in months.”

“I miss you both,” she said.

“Yeah, sure. At least you could stop pretending like you care, couldn’t you?” her dad asked with a deep sigh. “How’s work?”

“I’m not pretending, dad. Work is fine, what about yours?” she asked pretending to be interested in the subject. If the man started talking about how good his business was, or how much the stocks in his company had increased, she’d just hang up the phone.

“As good as always. Smooth sailing. Do you want to talk to your mom? She’s cooking” he said,

“Yes, please. Thanks, dad.”

Y/N wanted to end the phone call so bad. The sooner, the better. Talking to her parents had always made her feel very nervous. She never knew what would they say, or how would they react to anything she said. Or how would they get disappointed this time.

“Y/N?”

“Hi, mom.”

“We miss you so much, darling. When will you come visit us?” her mom asked.

“I’ve got a lot of work, mom. Maybe someday” she said not looking forward to it.

“Well, alright. But you should visit us as soon as possible. Forgetting your parents is not okay, sweetie. You should talk to your boss and ask him to give you a little time off. Right?”

“No, mom. That’s not how it works.”

“Well, baby. Your father gave some days off for some of his best employees so that they could visit their families. I’ not saying your boss is lower than your dad, but maybe he should be more considerate with you.”

“But, mom…”

“Maybe he’s not the problem. Haven’t you told him that your parents live abroad? Haven’t you? How hasn’t it crossed your mind, Y/N? You have to tell him tomorrow when you first see him. Stop being shy, kid. Life is not going to treat you different just because you’re shy. You need to grow up.”

Y/N strongly shut her eyes, trying to hold every tear she wanted to shed. She hated that. She hated it when her mom treated her like that. She tried not to yell at her with all her strength. She tried not to explain to her how much she hated her right now.

Stop being shy, kid.

Stop being shy? Do you really think I want to be like that, mom? Screw you.

Why couldn’t she just be happy for her? Wasn’t she going to like a thing Y/N did? Would she have to live eternally with that behavior coming from her mom? It was insane.

“I’ve got a lot of tests to correct, mom. Bye” she said getting off the phone without even waiting for her to answer.

Y/N covered her face with her hands, trying not to cry again. She lied down on the couch and hugged the blanket which was covering her body, breathing in and breathing out.

She had never dared talk to her mom like that, she had never left her in the middle of a word. And, right now, her mom would think her behavior was not appropriate for a girl her age.

Y/N’s teary eyes rested on Dean’s flannel again.

She had promised to herself not to put it on again, not even touch it. She’ll sure end up getting it dirty or something. And when Dean knew, she’ll get mad at her. For sure. She told herself that she had to wash it to give it back the next time she saw him. But right now, she really didn’t care about that.

Y/N got up and walked towards it, then she took it and smelled it. In doing so, not knowing why, she felt a little better. Going back to the couch, she hugged it as she had done with the blanket.

And so, one more night, her tiredness beat the sadness she was feeling inside. Y/N fell fast asleep seconds later, still holding Dean’s blue flannel, the guy on her mind.

What Y/N didn’t know yet was how much things were going to change in just a few days.

@clarinette07

Dean tags: @all-will-be-well-love

#spn #spnfandom #SPNFamily #spn fanfic #spn au fanfic #spn au series #spn dean winchester #spn sam winchester #sam winchester #dean winchester #dean winchester series #dean winchester au #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x y/n #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fic

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punchmedanny · 6 years

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Chicago II July 25, 2018

Alright strap yourselves in cuz this is gonna be a long ass post WITH SPOILERS for Interactive Introverts. I will mark where spoilers begin if you want to read about pre show stuff. If you don't want any spoilers whatsoever, don't feel obligated to read this even if we're buddies! Feel free to send me an ask/dm instead 😅

Alright folks, let's go!

Playing the Waiting Game

I was supposed to get to the venue at 4 for m&g, but I got there before 3 because a) i'm terrified of being late and b) my uber driver made excellent time.

The venue was not open yet, so my bf and I walked to a nearby mall. We passed by the tour buses (presumably dnp's plus other performers'). There was a group of people hanging around them looking v stalkerish (please don't hang around the buses before the show)

We got back to venue around 3:50 and waited in line outside till 4 when the venue let us in. We were near the middle of the line, so if you want to be closer to the front, get there sooner lol

Turns out I was behind the lovely @noodlephil in line (although I didn’t know till after!)

Two internet friends were meeting for the first time and crying (it was adorable)

Inside, there was a table with staff that checked and marked our tickets then gave us silver paper wristbands

We got in a second line where we had a bag check (our venue allowed sealed water bottles, but that might vary) and were scanned by a wand metal detector. After that, staff scanned our tickets

We went to a third line which was the actual line for m&g and were told the m&g itself would start around 4:30

Marianne came by and said we would be waiting a bit longer for "latecomers" (im p sure dnp were the latecomers because most people were there at that point haha)

Marianne walked like a frickin goddess and her voice was beautiful

She made a speech giving us a rundown of how m&g would work, which I recorded

The m&g area was set up in the lobby to the side of the theatre doors

Dan and Phil entered from our left (towards the back of the theate)

They jogged across the m&g backdrop where we could see them better and waved. Dan did the cutest bouncy jump ever while waving. He stayed out longer than Phil

There was a table to set your bag on as you approached the backdrop

The music was loud af and there was NO WAY to see or hear other people's m&g - it was v private even though there were tons of people

Marianne was at the very front of the line and asked what she could do to help. I was like uhhh (because I'm eloquent like that) and she asked if we had anything for them to sign. My bf had golf balls lmao and gave them to her. I said I wanted to take a Polaroid for them to sign. She had me turn the camera on because apparently they’d had issues with Polaroid cameras in the past

I thanked her for the way everything was being run and joked a bit while we waited

When it was our turn, the people in front of us were completely gone (I repeat: v private). Marianne gestured and verbally told us to go on in

Meeting Dan and Phil

Phil was wearing his red jacket and good vibes t-shirt just like the beginning of "week in the life" He welcomed us with open arms and I went in for the Phil Hug. Wow. Phil is an excellent hugger and his arms felt a lot stronger than I imagined. And, yes, he waited for me to let go first

As soon as I let go of Phil, I stepped to the side and and looked at Dan. He was wearing his II denim jacket over a white t-shirt. He also had his arms wide for a hug. And lemme tell you, that boi has a fuckin wingspan. Dan gave a more gentle hug than Phil and we let go at like the same time

I am not a hugger and wasnt even 100% sure before I went in that I would hug them tbh

After the hugs, I stepped back and took them both in that's what she said. My initial impression was confidence and class. Literally, the most confident people I've ever encountered irl

Everyone says they're tall, but they are, as my bf said, taller than advertised. He's 6'2 and still looked up to both of them. I feel like they're both close to the next inch up honestly

They are wide. Like we've all noticed the Phil is wide, but Dan is too! They are literal giants

The cameras do NOT do them justice. Phil looks his age irl and I mean that in the sexiest way possible. He does actually have pores and tiny wrinkles (gasp), but I think they only make him more attractive. He oozes understated masculinity. But he also has serious nerd energy and idgaf attitude. Basically, he seems kind of badass

Dan looked flawless. Like I know every so often people wonder about if he wears makeup and all imma say is either he does OR he has the best damn skin care routine and/or genetics ever. He looks like someone after they use a filter

I'd say dan is suave and phil has swagger

(I'm about to sound real fucking weird) They both had such strong auras or energy or whatever you want to call it. It was palpable and BIG - like it extended off of them a couple feet. Dan's felt more static-y, while phil's felt more like balloon about to burst. It merged together between them to where I couldn't tell where one stopped and the other started

Marianne handed Phil the golf balls and he and Dan just stared at them in his hand in confusion for a second then Phil said "golf balls?" before my bf explained it was because they were the caddy lads. They chuckled and Dan said it was "the only series that has any value"

I am now the proud (?) owner of photos and video of phil holding two balls in his hand and I feel really weird about it

Dan asked if I had anything for them to sign, so I told him I wanted to take a Polaroid to which Dan replied, "D'ya want me to attempt the rare Polaroid selfie?"

Then I actually gently teased Dan (!?!?) because I'm a little shit lol I said, "I successfully did one this morning, so I hope you can"

They both seemed mildly amused and he did the thing where he touched his chest lightly in mock offense and said, "Well, let's see"

Tbh I think this was why I got genuine smiles in my pic

Dan said, "Beautiful" and Phil said "Amazing" lol (it really was tho)

Dan described the signature he'd be doing as "the tiniest little dan" and he used the highest voice ever

Phil's signature was so bad im pretty sure dan laughed at it lmao

Dan offered another selfie with my phone (i love him)

I shook their hands before I left and they seemed surprised, but appreciative. They both had excellent handshakes: firm, but not too hard. They both had soft, warm hands with Phil's being about average and Dan's being warmer than average

Overall, they were incredibly kind and professional. The vibe to be was sort of like talking to a boss who isn't your direct boss at a work party: fun, but still guarded

The saying goes "Never meet your heroes," but whoever said that obviously never met dan and phil. This was one of my happiest memories of all time

1500+ word description of the meeting including a sommelier worthy account of how the boys smell

And here’s the (real shit) video of my m&g

The Pre-Show

After meeting the bois, we were immediately given our goodie bags (one of them was double stuffed, lucky me)

Staff asked if we’d be staying in the theatre or not. Upon telling them we’d be leaving, they let us know we’d need to scan out so we could re-enter later

We bought merch (tie-dye/marbled look tee, long sleeved tee, and denim jacket). The line was basically non-existant, so if you have VIP 100% get your merch at this time

We scanned out and were told we could re-enter at 6 along with general admittance ticket holders

We had dinner then got back around 6:10. There was no line this time and we went through security and ticket scanning again

There were so many people everywhere and everyone was so cute! Why are we such a good looking fandom??? The line for merch was EXTREMELY long. RIP those folks

So was the line for the restrooms (and multiple men’s rooms were turned into ladydoors women’s restrooms)

We got 2 drinks (both for me) then went to our seats. We were front and center - I could literally touch the stage with my shoe from my seat. At this time I met @phandommom and @crunchytoasted1

The pre-show music was loud af where I was seated (I actually put in ear plugs lol). Lots of people were dancing and I got to witness crunchytoast dance to “Ladydoor” live which was a treat. At one point various people were running across the theatre with various LGBT+ flags to plenty of cheers. ‘Twas glorious. People did the whole waving the phone flashlights thing and sang along during “Welcome to the Black Parade”

My bf got me 2 more drinks

Showtime!

THIS IS WHERE THE SPOILERS START!!!

It was so, so weird to see them onstage after having the m&g. I legit wanted to climb onstage and like be close again, but, ya know, I didn’t cuz I know what’s socially acceptable

We were called Susan. Classic

Phil was wearing waffle socks. As in socks with tiny waffles all over them

We sacrificed Phil to Satan and Dan died in a furry nightclub

None of mine or my bf’s answers got chosen and I’m a bit salty lol

We sacrificed Dan (the only correct choice fite me)

At intermission the line for the bathrooms was sooooo long omg. I got myself 2 more drinks at this point and called @h-owllslide to gush about the show. I spilled one of my drinks on my bf a little when I sat back down.

Danny was 3 centimeters away from loosing his dick and he got paint on his shoe. He seemed legit irked lol

Nick Jonas was in Dan’s box, but I don’t recall the other two cuz that was the only one that mattered imo

I got a piece of the sign and when they threw it into the audience it was a bit disturbing how everyone tore into it like a swarm of pirahnas

They wore Cubs baseball shirts over their usual shirts during the rap/song finale which was absolutely precious. I LOVED the finale so fucking much - it was magnificent

END SPOILERS!!!

Closing Thoughts

I wish I hadn’t drank so much (6 wines for those of you keeping track at home). I was getting real embarrassing by the end (as in screaming excitedly too much/ too often) and I don’t remember it as clearly as I wish I did. I was just freaking tf out and my anti-anxiety meds weren’t cutting it

I was struggling incredibly hard not to disassociate the entire time

I wish I could go to another show. It was so fun!

The following day, I had a major mood drop. If you’re prone to this, maybe have a plan to hang with someone and do something nice, but lowkey the next day

This was literally the most fun thing I’ve done in at least two years and was one of my happiest memories ever. We’re talking patronus conjuring levels of happy

If you can go, go. If you can’t, don’t feel too bad. It was EXTREMELY intense and not for everyone (especially m&g). Plus they are putting it up later, which I’m looking forward to because I think I’ll be able to better absorb it

Please feel free to ask me anything about the show! I’d love to go on about it lol

#omg this is so much longer than i anticipated #i mean i aint apologizing lmao #i will be legitimately surprised if anyone reads this in its entirety #it's mainly to help me remember because i have some memory issues #Dan and Phil #dan howell #daniel howell #phil lester #amazingphil #DNP #interactive introverts spoilers #interactive introverts #ii spoilers #ii m&g #text post #punchmedanny #tw: alcohol

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perksofbeingsidnee · 6 years

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Perks of Being Sidnee Episode 2:

I have decided to put all of my problems here because I know that no one I know personally will see this unless I let them read it.

This will be a series of the perks of being me, Sidnee.

Now on with episode 2...

So this episode I’ll talk about another toxic person in my life. Let’s call her Spice. I met Spice when I was in seventh grade. We were okayish friends but didn’t really start to hang out until last year.

Something you should know about me is that I’m an AP kid. All of my friends are mostly in AP and I travel around with the same people all day. My sophomore year I had a hard time and decided to give myself a break during my junior year and take only one AP class.

Because of my dumbass decision, I didn’t have lunch with my group of friends. The science I took last year was a CP course and I was only really friends with one person in the class. Spice. We were closish and had lunch together. We would chill in the school’s library during the lunch period. Over the course of the first semester and the fact that we were already friends, we became closer and started to hang out more outside of school.

One weekend we decided to paint rocks, cause that was a thing at some point in time. Somehow I ended up spending the night. Her mom wasn’t home for most of the night which left her place for us to do whatever.

Spice is really into photography, more specifically modeling. I enjoy doing people’s makeup and my own. I was already planning to do her and her sister’s, we’ll call her Mega, makeup, so she decided she wanted to get pictures of it. I thought it was fun and went along with the idea. We all put on cute outfits that matched our aesthetics and she used their camera to get photos.

By the end of the night, we had a lot of different photos. I’ve never really like being in front of the camera or liked photos of myself, but I did like some of the ones we had gotten. I was looking to get a new profile pic for Instagram so I thought I would use one that we had gotten. Spice then came up with the idea of sharing an Instagram profile to post all of our photos and future photos.

Again I went along with it for two reasons. One: the pictures we had gotten weren’t actual garbage. Two: it would be a place for me to post my makeup looks. In my head, at the time, it sounded like a great idea.

We made the profile and posted the photos we got of each of us. If they posted something, I would post a makeup look. We had a few followers and I thought everything was fine.

But shit happened.

Before I go into any more detail about what has happened between Spice and me, I want to go over a few things. I have now realized that Spice is a very toxic person who I don’t necessarily want to be friends with. I wish her all the best in life, but we were never meant to be close friends. There were a lot of red flags that I should have noticed. They now scream at me ‘SIDNEE YOU ARE A COMPLETE DUMBASS’.

Let’s go through them shall we:

1. The fact that she was never interested in what I was into

If you do not know me personally, you should know that I am a huge fangirl. I’m not afraid to admit it. I love music and a shit ton of bands (5sos is my fav no shame). In the past three years, I’ve been to three music festivals and seven concerts and I’m going to see Waterparks in literally a week, just to give you a glimpse of how much I spend on bands/music. I’m constantly finding new artist and a lot of the time I’ll show my friends if I think they will like them. Of course, since I thought we were close, I would try and show Spice new music.

Spice was a huge K-pop fan, still is. I don’t understand it. Personally, I can’t enjoy it. Sure, it has a good beat and is easy to dance to (btw I’m a dancer), but I like listening/analyzing lyrics and your girl doesn’t know Korean.

Whenever I would go to Spice’s house, we would watch youtube on her TV cause she can do that. I would always suggest music to listen to or videos to watch. She would let me show her like one or two, but she never liked it or cared to pay attention. Eventually, she would just play what she would want to watch or listen to (which was mostly K-pop) and not let me watch anything I would want to.

I understand that it was her house and all, but I was a guest. It would have been polite of her to let me watch a few of my videos as well. I also understand that my videos aren’t always going to be enjoyable to others. I don’t have a problem with that. You aren’t going to offend me if you think 5 seconds of summer is complete trash. You are completely entitled to your own opinion. It just bothers me now that she never really cared to watch or pay attention to what I wanted to show her. I put up with all her suggestions.

2. She ditched my Christmas party to go to someone else’s party

I have always been the planner of my group of friends. I plan all of our events/outings. For these last two years, I’ve done Christmas parties. The first party I ever hosted was my birthday party (which Spice went to) with all of my friends. I thought it went pretty well. I invited a lot of my friends from my different friend groups and everyone meshed well.

Later that year, when Christmas rolled around, I decided to throw a Christmas party with those same friends. I had so many fun things planned and everyone was supposed to bring something for the potluck. During lunch, Spice and I talked about the party and what she was going to bring. I guess Spice and Mega’s friend, let’s call her Sausage, was having her birthday party that same day, however, Spice didn’t sound like she was invited and was still planning to attend my party.

The day before my party, Spice cancels on me. Keep in mind I have her signed up to bring food for the potluck. Her excuse was that her mom told her she couldn’t go anymore and she was grounded. Mega and Spice’s mom is a bit strict and the excuse seemed legitimate.

I figured out how to fix the situation with the food and thought I had everything under control. I felt bad that Spice could no longer come.

It’s the day of the party. Everything goes fantastic. The activities I had planned ran smoothly and I had a great time with my friends. We’re all taking stupid Snapchats of the party and posting them to our stories. By the end of the night, after everyone leaves, I go on my Snapchat to see what they had posted.

Then I land on Spice’s story.

Guess where she was.

At Sausage’s party. I was pissed. I wasn’t jealous that she had ditched my party for Sausage’s. No, I was angry that she had lied to me about why she wasn’t going to mine. Sure, I wasn’t thrilled that she wasn’t at mine because she said she was going to go to it, but she could have been straight up with me about it.

The Monday after that weekend I confronted her about it and she said that Mega couldn’t go unless she went which I thought was absolute bullshit. Except I put it behind me and moved on. No need to dwell on it, I guess.

3. Desperately tries to fit in

Spice is a for sure wannabe. No doubts. She tries so hard to be popular and look trendy. Honestly, I don’t care enough about her now to keep up to date on what she is trying to do now, but last year she was going to try out for cheer. I told her thousands of times that she shouldn’t and wasn’t going to make the team for multiple reasons. Of course, she ignored me, and like expected she didn’t make the team.

Those are the biggest red flags I can remember before shit happened.

So onto our falling out.

There was another girl in my science class that I am now friends. We started to hang out more and I invited her to sit with Spice and me at lunch. Spice and this girl, we’ll call her Trickle, were friends before Spice dropped out of the class at the semester. I thought Trickle joining us wouldn’t be a problem.

Every day we would sit in the same place during lunch. From first to third quarter it was the same table. But all of a sudden during the fourth quarter, Spice and Mega started to move locations almost every week. I would have to search for them. And there was sometimes not enough seats for Trickle to join us.

Slowly but surely I stopped sitting with them because I wasn’t going to leave Trickle by herself. It seemed like they were trying to ditch us on purpose and it sort of ticked me off because it was out of the blue.

Remember our shared Instagram page. Yeah, out of nowhere she deleted all of my photos, changed the username, and started to post her own makeup looks on there. She didn’t give me a heads up on any of it. I would occasionally go on there to see how my posts were doing and if I had gotten any new comments. One day I went to find it and everything was different.

When I would post something on there, I would instantly delete it from my camera roll in order to save storage. Everything that I had ever done/posted was gone. To say that I was angry would be an understatement. I only had one makeup look saved. One out of like the ten or so I had posted on that account.

It pissed me off more was that she was posting her own makeup looks on there. Let me tell you a few things about Spice’s makeup. It isn’t good. And it isn’t like she has shit products. I literally gave her an extra set of brushes for free that my stepmom had given me. She just had an extra set lying around and asked if Spice wanted them after I sent her a picture of the eyeshadow look I did on Spice. And she has like three Morphe pallets and Tarte shape-tape concealer and a lot of products you can find at Ulta and Sephora. I get my products from fucking Target and occasionally Ulta. Makeup is expensive and I’m broke.

She acts like she is this talented guru when she isn’t.

Just, it pisses me off that I ever spent time dealing with her.

Anyways, that is it for Spice. There is probably a lot more I could go into more detail about, but I’m lazy and don’t want to so... yeah.

Sidnee

#rants #why #what am i doing #what am i even doing #i cant #i cant anymore #please help #i need help #idek #idek anymore #complaining #complaints

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707morelikebreakmyheart · 7 years

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RFA React to MC looking at Them like They’re the Entire Universe and More in a Photo

ok so this sounds like a dumb scenario but i just took a picture with a few friends of mine a couple hours ago and in the picture i'm looking at my boyfriend while laughing and it looks like i'm in love with him (which i am) and also like he's my entire world and more so i wanted to make this a scenario of sorts idk man

if you all like this enough i could do v + saeran and possibly vanderwood but it really depends haha. that’s all for now please enjoy! YOOSUNG: -y'all went to a fishing trip with the RFA that saeyoung suggested as a way to get 'closer' -yoosung was really excited because he got to spend time with some of his favorite people ever as well as you!!! what else in the entire world could he have wanted more than that?? -so you two packed up what little essentials for fishing you had and headed out for the day -when you finally got there most of the time was spent trying to explain to jumin that no, he couldn't pay someone else to do this for him and then at other times helping calm down zen after a fish came too close to his 'precious' face -even though there were moments where jaehee looked like she was about to kill saeyoung for throwing a fish into her lap it was a fun time -to commemorate the day together y'all decided to take a picture together with your phone -while saeyoung was focusing the camera yoosung said something funny that made you burst out in a small fit of giggles while staring at him -before you could even prepare the picture was taken and you felt yourself grow embarrassed at the outcome -everyone was smiling and doing cute lil hand poses but you -you were definitely smiling but you weren't looking at the camera, instead you were staring at yoosung with this sparkle in your eye that caused a deep red to cover your face -"the way she looks at him, it's almost as if though he's her entire world and more." jaehee said while hiding a small smile -"get you a girl that looks at you like MC looks at yoosung." saeyoung said while choking back a small laugh -"wow! look at mc you guys, looking at yoosung like she's in love with him!" zen continued on with a small smile -"maybe she looks at him like that because they are in love??" jumin said in a confused tone, obviously not catching onto the jokes -a few of the members groaned at jumin's obliviousness as they looked over at yoosung who was smiling at the picture on your phone fondly -you peeked at his face while trying to calm the violent blush painting your features -"it's funny you're looking at me like i'm the universe and more, when you're even more than that to me." -cue everyone literally blushing and internally dying at how precious their youngest RFA member still is -yoosung now keeps that photo framed in his office, even after years of taking it, just so he can be able to see your precious face looking at only him like that

ZEN: -aight so this man loves taking selfies -it didn't take you that long to figure that out -at every moment of every day you were together he would come up to take 'unexpected' pics of you -but he was a fool! after a week of surprise selfies you got used to it, and could now strike a cute pose to match zen's beauty in every picture -one day y'all were just having a normal rehearsal dinner with his cast when zen (who else would it have been??) declared they should take a group picture that he could post on social media to hype up the release of the musical -so everybody agreed and begin to come close together to take the picture -zen unexpectedly put his arm around you and said something along the lines of "smile, my beautiful princess" -so ofc you were all smiley and blushy while looking over at him -before you even had time to snap back to reality the flash went off and the picture was taken -fRICK -everybody was passing around zen's phone looking at the picture making vague offhand comments about 'the look in mc's eyes' when it finally got to you and zen -zen stared at it for a second, a wide smile pulling at his features before he looked over at you with a small blush painting his cheeks -"what??" you finally said -"look at the way you're looking at me babe." -he handed you his phone and you looked over at yourself -your eyes were all glazed over because of the flash and a warm smile was on your face all while you stared at a gorgeous zen smiling at the camera looking like the most beautiful man in the world -"ah, true love." a co-star commented -you were beyond embarrassed!! the way you were looking at zen was so precious and whimsical and god it was just so embarrassing -"do you really love me so much that you look at me like i'm the entire night sky babe??? aahhh that's so sweet of you. it makes the beast inside of me awaken just a tad-" -"zEN PLEASE" -he has the pic as his profile picture on all his social media accounts, each one zoomed in onto your face and eyes, staring lovingly at his gorgeous face JAEHEE: -you guys rarely took pictures together since y'all were so busy with the cafe all the time -but today was a special day!! -it was the one year anniversary of the cafe opening and you saw it necessary to take a picture to commemorate such a big milestone -jaehee was a little hesitant but agreed on the terms that some would be professional and others would be silly -so y'all set up a camera on a stand and put it on a timer and started taking a bunch of silly pics together, some of them being professional -you didn't realize even realize it but at one point all you were doing was laughing at jaehee trying to push all her hair out of her face -when the little photo shoot of sorts ended y'all went into your shared apartment and started looking over them together -the first few were cute, just mundane peace signs and sweet smiles -then at one point jaehee's bangs went in front of her face and you looked like you were dying of laughter -towards the end of the of the pictures there was one particular one that jaehee looked at for a long time -it was one where she was laughing while tucking her hair back into place and you were smiling fondly while looking at her with such a loving gaze -she blushed and said nothing and just continued on to look through them, commenting now and again just how silly some of them were -the picture was never brought up again but a few weeks later you found out jaehee had not only put it up as her profile picture in the chat room but also printed a copy and stuck it neatly on your bedside table -you didn't say anything about it but every time you saw it you were embarrassed but also a little glad to know that it was clear to see just how much you loved her JUMIN: -the only pictures that are ever released the public of you two are serious ones or ones of you both looking absolutely gorgeous while getting off your private jet or coming home from the airport -but there have been dOZENS of pictures of you that jumin has always kept hidden from the world and all of his friends -pictures only he could ever see. -these pictures were usually taken during silly photo shoots, a small thing you both did every month -you let him try to take pictures of you just smiling and he struggles but he's trying his best to capture your cute lil poses stop teasing him!! -most of the time you're the one taking pictures of him struggling to do a peace sign but other times you take pictures of you both doing cute poses or kissing one another -one time v offered to take pictures as a way to celebrate your wedding anniversary and you both agreed because v was a close friend and jumin wanted a chance to see his beautiful partner in wedding attire again -so you two began doing the photo shoot with serious and sweet poses -one photo was of jumin tipping your chin up to meet his gaze -another was of him wrapping his arms around your waist and laying his head on your shoulder and there were dozens of others alike to those two -but then in some you both were making stupid faces to each other and then finally, in the last one jumin said something that made your heart curl -"i love you with all my heart mc, i wish i could marry you over and over and over again, just so i could see your precious face smiling at me while i slipped the ring onto your finger. is that selfish of me? i hope you feel the same, my love. let us spend the rest of our lives together, a life that will hopefully be filled with all your silly jokes and faces. things i fell in love with just as much as i fell in love with you. happy anniversary darling, i love you." -you were on the verge of tears and had no words to even explain what you were feeling but you just let out a small chuckle while staring lovingly at him while he looked over at the camera -next thing you know the flash went off and you were now going over all the pictures together with jumin -all of them were absolutely gorgeous (what else did you expect of v mc??) but your favorite had to be the one where you were sticking your tongue out at jumin and he was doing the same to you -his favorite was the very last one -one where you were looking at him with so much love in your eyes he could practically feel it radiating off the camera -though you were embarrassed you were really happy -he soon after put the picture everywhere he could -in his office, in your office, in your bedroom, in a giant portrait right above the sofa -everywhere -though it was embarrassing it made you happy so it was alright SAEYOUNG: -he has like a thousand and one pics of you on his phone but little to none of you both -all the pictures he has of you range from you in sexy lingerie to a bad angle of you sneezing while brushing your teeth -he loves all of them just the same though -one day he wanted to do a cosplay photo shoot with you which you agreed to since most of the time it was fun teasing each other back and forth about just how short your maid skirts were -so he set up a camera you didn't even know existed and immediately started posing all cute and such -you tried to follow his lead but fell behind after a while and just stood back basking in all of his cute and over the top poses -at one point all you were doing was laughing while he made the most ridiculous 'sultry' faces he could at the camera -when it was over you two stayed in your costumes and went over the pictures -you couldn't stop laughing at all his silliness and he couldn't stop laughing because you were laughing!! -it took forever because of your constant giggles and chuckles but you both made it through all of the photos -you caught what was just a glimpse of one more photo which was just of you smiling at saeyoung while he side eyed you, a smile of his own pulling at his soft features -you felt your heart leap in your throats as he wrapped his arms around your waist and kisses your forehead -"thank you, mc. i'm really happy." was all he said as he pulled you closer towards his torso -you hugged him back and you both stayed there for a while, just embracing one another silently -a few weeks later you came into your shared bedroom casually, almost missing the giant portrait of you two that was covering up an entire wall -"saeyoung?" -"yeeesss honey??" -"why, why is there an entire wall covered in a picture of me staring at you." -"because the way you were looking at me was just so cute i couldn't just let the opportunity of your cute smiling face pass by so easily!! look at you!! look at me!! look at our outfits! this is the best picture we've ever taken together." -"oh. saeyoung?" -"yes?" -"i hate that you are the love of my life so much."

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lookgoodformula · 7 years

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Makeup and Beauty Blog Monday Poll, Vol. 467

So…what is the Monday Poll?

Well, it isn’t exactly a poll. It’s more of a constantly evolving (devolving?), somewhat random list of questions I’ve been putting out to readers every Monday morning for the past 10 (!) years. (It’s like a kickstart for your brain.) I’ve always enjoyed reading your answers in the comments, and I hope you enjoy reading mine.

1. The first thing I did after I woke up this morning was…

Damn my alarm to hell and stay in bed for 10 more minutes, LOL! I really, REALLY didn’t want to get out of my comfy bed this morning, but c’est la vie. I had to.

I set my alarm for 5:30 during the week, and sometimes it’s hard to get ye olde booty out of bed. The baby’s been waking up in the middle of the night lately. Sometimes she screams and then cries herself back to sleep (I think she has very vivid dreams). Other nights she’ll just be up talking happily to herself for hours in the dark.

If she’s upset and can’t soothe herself, I’ll rub her back for a few minutes and give give her her binky, and that usually works.

She got up a few times last night, so I’m kinda tired today.

It doesn’t really bother me though. Everything’s temporary, and someday I’m sure I’ll look back and really miss this time.

2. Someone in your life who always laughs at your jokes?

I’m pretty sure I’ve asked this question before, so if I have, sorry! It just occurred to me again.

My answer has gotta be my brother. We have a very similarly weird sense of humor, and I always know that if I throw a random observation or joke his way, he’ll totally get it. Always does.

El Hub always gets my jokes, too, as do my friends Jen and Cindy.

I like to think that Tabs gets my jokes, too, but he’s gotten much more official and serious in his senior tabby years.

3. Do you have any “imperfections” (quote, unquote) that you love?

Oh, boy, I have so many to choose from if you put any stock in beauty magazines and big Instagram beauty accounts. Seriously, how dare a woman have pores?! It’s like they aren’t allowed.

I actually love that my right eye is slightly bigger than my left eye. Most people can’t tell, but I can, especially when I take pics directly facing the camera, which is why you’ll see me taking pics at an angle a lot.

It makes doing symmetrical eye makeup more of a challenge, for sure, and I don’t mind a challenge. Plus, it makes me different.

And another reason I love it is because Connor Claire has it too. It’s genetics at work.

It was more noticeable when Connor was a teeny, tiny baby than it is now, but her left eye is slightly smaller than her right. She gets that from her mama.

4. If you were to battle it out on the dance floor like in those cheesy dance movies like Step Up and Honey, how do you think you’d do?

Girl, the moves would be questionable. They’d all be from 1992-2002 and not executed very well at all, but I think I’d score extra points in the sass department.

Seriously, I would bring it in a dance battle. Watch out! Karen’s comin’ for you full force!

5. Why does makeup matter?

Everyone probably has a different answer for this, but makeup matters to me because it cheers me up, makes me feel better about myself and reminds me of good times. I think that anything that can make somebody feel better about themselves, no matter how frivolous it is, whether it’s putting on lipstick or a coat of mascara, is a potentially good thing, because positive energy like that can transfer to the people around us and infuse the work we do and the way we interact with each other. When I feel put together, it definitely changes the running dialogue in my head.

So even though lip gloss is a little thing in the bigger picture, it matters because of its power to change your perspective into something more positive.

6. Three things that make you happy?

Cute spring/summer dresses

Ice cream cones

Freshly painted nails

The coffee is slowly but surely kicking in, AH! It’s taking longer than usual today…but I have faith that it’ll work. T-minus 10 minutes to full consciousness!

Hi there, friend. Happy Monday. I’m sitting here with a fresh coat of a new shade by Smith & Cult on my nails called Exit the Void. I like.

I hope you have a wonderful week filled with encouragement and accomplishment. I also hope that your nails remain shiny and un-chipped.

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

P.S. Here are this week’s questions to copy and paste:

1. The first thing I did after I woke up this morning was… 2. Someone in your life who always laughs at your jokes? 3. Do you have any “imperfections” (quote, unquote) that you love? 4. If you were to battle it out on the dance floor like in those cheesy dance movies like Step Up and Honey, how do you think you’d do? 5. Why does makeup matter? 6. Three things that make you happy?

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myvelouri · 5 years

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This will be long

Tonight was utter shit.

Where to begin

I don't even know.

I fucked up. I drank again. I'm drunk as I type this

It's so hard not to cry but I've gotten good at holding back. The most fucking pussy shit you'll ever hear a grown man say. Probably. I don't give a fuck though. I realize it. And I don't care. This is me.

So. I went to work. My buddy that always gets all the girls. Remember how I got that gorgeous girls number? And he was so stoked that he hyped me up? Well he showed me his tinder account. He already had hundreds of matches and a BUNCH that matches with him that he hadn't matched with yet. Imaine seeing his account with "100+" likes/matches awaiting and me with "3+" that aren't really there because it glitched out. And he showed me his profile. He looks so beautiful with short hair, wow. His profile is amazing. He's very like, alpha in personality, not that he's actually alpha, but he's not like me where I can joke and be gay with him, you know? He has that side of himself locked down. It's why I know why we can't be close. He's too closed off. Like, hell think shit is gay. I can't even tell him "bro you look hella good with short hair" without him being bothered. I mean, okay. But whatever. We still cool. But I was surprised how good looking he was with a buzzed head and he had some topless shots of him playing basketball, they were great. He has a great body. Girls are all over him. It's insane. Uh, he said his pics are two years old. He actually kinda looks like Napoleon Dynamite in person right now haha. He's like 8 years younger than me. But like. He does extremely well on tinder and seemingly in person, I've posted that before. About him. If he wasn't so self conscious about coming across as super alpha, straight and testosterone-full, he could put in a bit more effort in his appearance and become a really fuckin amazing looking dude. But I can't even tell him that. It sucks. I can't be open with him. He's a chill dude. I like the dude. He's like 22. He's had a great life. He's white, blue eyes, 6'5" and attractive. Like, duh, he's never had to deal with any negativity or rejection like I've had to. It's not his fault though. I'm not upset at that at all.

Alright on to the next part. That beautiful girl who's number I got? Well I texted her and she never responded. So much for all that hype that me and my buddy had. I didn't tell him though. I probably will. I feel so immensely ugly.

There was another girl I was texting but she fucking stopped talking after I stopped... But I told her I was out with friends. I mean, ffs, I only met her 2 days ago. But okay, whatever.

Where am I at

I'm.gonna cut it short

So I am at the bar. Drunk already. I sat by myself and this girl came in alone too, Brenda, I talked to her for a bit.. but I left her to talk to others. She was so offended that I left her. I'm sorry wow. Godamnit. I don't know. I was with my other buddy Ronnie, I bought us shots too. I love him. I told him about my musical ideas and he's so into it but goddamn he always shies away from it. So yeah also, I went up to Brenda at the end of the night and she totally wasn't happy to see me. She walked away. Kinda fucked up for her to be so offended..I mean I just met her that night godamn.

Okay so I told Ronnie, in DEPTH about my musical ideas, it took 2 seconds tho cause we listen to the same shit and he's a musician too. I basically told him about my idea of my chemical romance/taking back Sunday type choruses but still HEAVY and then it goes into OLD Slipknot type breakdowns. And he was so into it. I have a lot of musical ideas but I want to explore this very badly with other friends/musicians. He was like, really into it too.

I was more excited about that than any damn girl. I swear.

Okay so when I was with him, all these girls ran into him and are always flirty with him, he's very attractive. And I'd be like, dude who is that, and he's like "LOL I DON'T KNOW BRO" so it seems girls just flirt with him right away.

But it's okay. I love him. He invited me out tomorrow night to ren fair but I'm working unfortunately. I got to fuck around with that waitress I love and she was sweet to me asking how my night was. I was shocked that someone was caring towards me in person. Haven't had that in a long time.

Wow I'm drunk. I'm so sorry.

Okay when I was with Ronnie, there was this group of gorgeous girls who were with these two douche bags, they were like, attractive, but not in a way I like, but I can see the appeal. I totally judged them. I'm sorry. Lol.

But they had these gorgeous girls with them.

So I was outside with Ronnie. And I saw Sherwood, you know, the super intelligent dude who thinks I'm a misogynistic piece of shit. It sucks. Because I love him. I actually hugged him like crazy. And he joked how I'm boney so it doesn't work. And I joked back, is it better if I under hug you, under your titty? (He's a big guy lol) and it was funny. He was actually talking to THAT hot girl that was alone with that douche bag guy I mentioned. She actually say with us. And told us that that douchebag guy left her to go get drugs with these other girls he was trying to fuck all night. And she said he brought her out this night and he's been trying to fuck her for so long. She was upset. She was drunkish. And it was fun talking to her. I helped her out. So did Sherwood and I can't remember the other guys name, I'ma call him D. And we kept talking. It was great. I even told Sherwood how this is how one of my bad dates went down. And that dbag finally came back and got her and said "hey are you ready?" And she actually went with him. She shouldn't have. He left her man. He's such a douche. That poor girl was alone for so long. That she sat alone. And she joined us of her own accord. I bonded with her quite a bit. Yeah she's super attractive. Well, after the dbag took her away, D and Sherwood were joking like "yeah that guy probably wasn't happy that she went to go sit with a 40 year old, a fat guy and a guy with zero self esteem" I mean it's fucking funny. Sherwood said that. So 40 year old was D, the fat guy was Sherwood referring to himself, and the guy with zero self esteem was directed at me. But I was like, I mean my self-esteem IS Shit but I have a lot of confidence. But D and Sherwood shot that down saying how you can't have both, and said it's false confidence, and said that I have an "image" which I found offensive. And Sherwood said that my family treats women like shit and apparently I do too. I was so upset and angry about that. He based it off ONE date I had with a girl WHO LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER GUY THAT HIT ON HER WHILE WE WERE ON A DATE. Apparently I'm the bad guy. I never fully even told him the story. But apparently I'm misogynistic. According to him and Ruth who think I'm a piece of shit, misogynistic crap face. I'm totally not. They misunderstood me entirely. If they only knew me. If they did. Honestly. They have this wrong idea of me and judge me for it and it's hard to fight them against it. They are these highly intelligent people who think they can't be wrong.

It's frustrating.

Alright. So at the end of the night

I saw Brenda again and she was talking to 4 other ppl. She felt weird with me saying hey to her again. I met the dude she was with and I was like bro, I've met you before and he said we haven't. I was like oh.... Okay. But apparently he knows of me. I stick out. I met another dude. And he said he's seen me here often. I've never seen him before. We were talking about video games before he mentioned that. Ya.

He was cool.

So anyway, I met these 3 people, Morgan, she's cute, Kim, she's cute and TANNER THIS DOUCHEBAG. and so, Morgan and Kim are girls and Morgan was telling Kim "omg that guy, wow he's SO HOT" and kim was like "what do you expect at a BAR" and Morgan kept saying she just turned 21 and she just came to this bar. She was astonished, amazed at how many hot guys are at bars. She kept saying how it's her first time. She was SO CUTE WOW. she looked at me and said "I like your chain" I have a chain on my jeans. I said "omg thank you for real" and she said "I love your nails" and I said lmao they got FUCKED at work. (I paint my middle finger and thumbs with black matte nail polish every now and then) and she was so into it. So, they were with TANNER. This white, fucking older douchebag, totally looked like a racist republican asshole piece of shit. And his attitude was like that. I mean, he was just so shitty. So maybe he got mad I was talking to Morgan and Kim. We shook hands and introduced each other. And he referred to me as "sup painted nails" and Morgan was like "wtf don't be mean" and he said "no I wasn't being mean" and his judgemental ass tried to get out of it. He was trying to teach Kim how to be mean. He said "tell this guy to shut up" and he was saying how gay guys SOMETHING something and I said "I like how you're fucking pointing at me while saying gay guys" and he's like, being a dick about it. I told him "well, I'm not gay, but I'm not totally straight." And he said "stay away from me" and I can't remember what I said but he wasn't clever at all and I kept stumping his dumb fucking ass, because I ACTUALLY AM clever as fuck. And the girls loved it. Here's where it got irritating. He was saying to Kim how you have to protect yourself from creeps. And I was saying I think she's strong enough to say no to creeps. And he said to me "I think girls think I'm creepy, I think it's my brassness and my voice" and I was nice to him. I said "nah man, you're good, I don't think that" and he was just so shitty back to me. And the girls were still there. And I said I come across scary too. And he said "yeah it's because of your hair. But if you shaved your head, you still have a... A gaunt face" and that hurt me a bit because I totally realize I'm skinny af now and not as cute as I used to be when I weighed more ( lost weight when I got dealthy ill, seriously). And then I was just being my ol cute self and I said "okay, but I'm still adorable" and the girls were like "you REALLY ARE" and Tanner said "I don't THINK you're adorable" and he was being so rude and saying I was ugly. I was like, wtf.

We were talking about Kim being careful of creeps. But as that whole conversation ended he slithered his way into telling Kim he lives at this place. And she is really too nice and said "um.. do you need a ride?" And he said yes. And I hope he didn't fucking take advantage of her. I feel so gross that I let her take him home. Do you know what he said as he left? He was like "next time, do as I say, pink, pink next time" and I said something like "I'm sorry, I dont listen to bitches telling me what to do" or something. I wasn't scared of him, I was ready to fucking destroy him. I'm a bit crazy. Don't ever forget I'm a grown ass MAN with crazy testosterone and I'm JUST as stupid as most guys when it comes to stupid fights like that. Remember how he was telling Kim to tell me to shut up? Well, he said something rude and something something and I told him "shut up" and he's like "what did you just tell me?" And I said in his face "shut up" and he kinda had no real come back. Fucking bitch. I'd destroy him. I'm stronger than I look. I kind of wanted to fight. I feel so much animosity in me. Especially for pieces of shit like him. Sherwood and D are not rude like that, I still consider them acquaintances. But tanner? Nigga I will kill you mother fucker, I'm fucking old as fuck, I don't take shit from pieces of shit I don't fucking respect. Pink nails? Bitch you're fucking jealous that the girls you're trying to get with like me more than you or SOMETHING. and trust me, I know how that feels but I'm not a fucking bitch about it.

I mean I wasn't hiding anything, I was in his face too. You can't really fuck with me.

Okay.

This is long.

I'll post the second half tomorrow or something

I have work tomorrow too. All the girls stopped talking to me. I don't know why. I didn't do anything wrong. I went out with my friends like, what the fuck? Also I got Morgan's Snapchat too. She's so cute. Lol she just turned 21 and she's so excited about bars and hot guys. Hahaha. I think she's very attractive.

OH! that girl with those douchebags. The hot girl that came to us, me, D and Sherwood? Yeah she randomly came up to me at the end of the night and hugged me so hard and said "thank you for watching out for me" and I got her instagram. She's so gorgeous lol. I can't believe she told us that that dbag has been trying to get with her for so long and ditched her like that. Sigh. She shouldn't have went back to him when he came back.

I'm still upset too, about Sherwood saying I have an "image." Cause it makes no sense. He was roasting me about how my top doesn't do anything and my tank top doesn't do anything. I'm like dude, this is my style, it comes form what I think is aesthetic and a lot with the music I listen to. I dress with what I like because it's what appeals to me. I mean how many guys fucking wear nail polish? For fucks sake, image? What image do you think I'm trying to present? Get the fuck out of here with that. It's so ridiculous. I'm way more confident than you could realize. And it makes no sense but it's just true. My self esteem sucks but I'm just real with what I see. I don't like it, I don't like parts of me. But I'm still confident. I don't see how why that's hard to believe? I'm just real with myself, if I don't like parts of myself I'm just like, yeah those parts suck ASS, BUT I'm still adorable, so what the fuck ever.

I hate that they are bringing me down by saying I can't be confident. It's really enraging. I'll have to have a talk with them.

It won't work cause they are so full of themselves. They say my insecurity comes across too. And I'm like, that's bullshit. I've only been deeply open with Sherwood, D, and Ruth when my HEART was broken after a break up. And instead of being supportive friends they judged me for it and misunderstood a date I had with a girl. Meanwhile Ruth bitches about her bad dates and shit. I mean Ruth cheated on her GF for fucks sake. How are you judging me

It's bizarre

It's bullshit

It makes me so angry

#personal

0 notes

therewillbesparkles · 5 years

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ktdhami · 6 years

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TEXTS | late 08/2017

HOLLAND

the amount of vodka soaked gummy bears i just ate is disgusting also hi how are you?

KEATON

it's 10am and you're already drunk off vodka candy wow Holland you didn't even offer to share I'm with the guys right now trying to get a few songs together how are you? besides drunk

HOLLAND

the world took my best friend from me he's too famous and now demands for me to only eat alcoholic candy with him send me soundclips so I can sell them on the black market i'm not drunk! just happy and painting

KEATON

you make it sound like I died lol no can do on the soundclipS it's super secret music we're working on what are you painting

HOLLAND

you did die. you are dead to my soul that doesn't get to see you everyday SEND THEM. I will make millions. I thought that said why and i was lik e- uh, Keats, I haven't painted in like weeks just a portrait someone asked me to do

KEATON

when did you become so needy nope. you're going to have to wait like everyone else sweetcheeks I'm surprised you didn't have us stop every single time you saw something you wanted to paint. you should send me a photo when you're done.

HOLLAND

it's your fault. I don't really think that waiting is my thing I took lots of pictures for that very reason. Including ones of you but we'll see where I end up.I should be done by the end of the night - like 3 am

KEATON

how is being needy /my/ fault? you're going to have to make it your thing you know i don't release music early and if you really want to listen to it then you're going to have fly out here I don't like that winky face...are there photos I don't know about. 3am is 1am my time, I'll be up. Send my a photo

HOLLAND

you made me this way - your neediness rubbed off on me. nah, i'm good with it not being my thing. SEND ME. buy me a ticket and i'm there. pretty sure you're aware of most of them. we'll see. blackmailllllllll. if i'm not too drunk, sure.

KEATON

that's fake news. I'm not needy. my answer isn't going to change Holls we are just recording demos, trying to finalize lyrics and get a sound for each song how rich do you think I am? you wouldn't dare, I thought we were friends. take it easy on the alcholic candies

HOLLAND

your face is fake news. but i'm so cute and like reallllllly good at giving you blow jobs you're richer than the 15.73 in my checking account friends? HA my art is better whn i'm drunk

KEATON

i can't believe you just texted me that and you laugh the friends comment fine, friendship canceled

HOLLAND

RIP KEATON AND HOLLAND, BFFL

KEATON

so dramatic

HOLLAND

the headstone reads "he wouldn't send her tunes, she wouldn't send him nudes"

KEATON

you know you're not the only girl I can gets nudes from if you're that desperate for money, just ask me for some

HOLLAND

i'm 300% certain you could get nudes from any girl out there and that's terrifying. tbh, I just want to listen to your new stuff. not sell it

KEATON

Mhm "listen" to my music, sure do you miss me that much already?

HOLLAND

what is that supposed to mean????? missed you the second you left, not gonna lie about it

KEATON

missed me? or missed how I made you felt

HOLLAND

if you're referencing sex, yes to all of it

KEATON

yes I'm talking about sex maybe that road trip was a bad idea now you can't live without me

HOLLAND

MARRY ME KEATON

KEATON

maybe you should lay off the vodka gummies

HOLLAND

you need to get used to that - your fans are gonna start screaming that soon#famoose

KEATON

they already do but thousands of screaming fans are easy to ignore

HOLLAND

one screaming best friend is just annoying

KEATON

who said you were best friend?

HOLLAND

OUCH okay, killer, does somebody need a snickers?

KEATON

friends? HA <-- you sent that you're the one that indicated we were friends werent*

HOLLAND

best friends and friends are separate things

KEATON

you're only saying we're best friends because I go down you on* you

HOLLAND

I called you my best friend before you ever did that but my god, do that every time

KEATON

mhm, what if I don't?

HOLLAND

i'll post this picture of you from high school I might do that anyway look how skinny you were - little boy

KEATON

are you saying I'm fat that picture is probably someone on the internet already

HOLLAND

no, you're ten times sexier now trust me. true. i'm sure i have one of your dick pics somewhere

KEATON

you wouldn't

HOLLAND

oh I wouldn't?

KEATON

you would if you wanted me out of your life

HOLLAND

who says I don't? you underestimate how good your head is, honestly.

KEATON

remind me to not send you dick pics from here on out

HOLLAND

keatonnnnn. I won't send you tit pics then

KEATON

again, I can get those from anyone

HOLLAND

mmmmk write a song about it

KEATON

song about dick and tit pics I don't think that'll go over well

HOLLAND

not your scene - leave that to future or childish gambino

KEATON

they can make a great song about nudes their music has a better vibe for it

HOLLAND

tbh, you should write a song about gemma which i'm sure you already have

KEATON

you know I already have you said she brags about being the inspiration to my songs

HOLLAND

that doesn't mean they're actually about her ~ but thanks for verifying. SCREENSHOTTING FOR GEMMA

KEATON

you don't know what songs are about her and you never will

HOLLAND

when we get married, it's gonna be in the prenup xo that you have to tell me.

KEATON

again with this marriage thing I don't have to tell you shit

HOLLAND

then i'll never show you any of my paintings ever again two way street, my man

KEATON

you gonna lock them in a vault? your place is full of paintings and I'm still waiting for a few pieces to put in my LA home

HOLLAND

I'm gonna lock you in a vault, ugh. and well maybe i'll send you some if you tell me what you want.

KEATON

don't know why that made me think you're trying to make me your sex slave surprise me you picked a good piece to leave at my place in New York

HOLLAND

because you think i'm creepy as shit. which I am. i'll send you something this week.

KEATON

so you would make me some sort of sex slave I better remember not to suggest handcuffs ever wouldn't want to make it easier for you to lock me up good, I look foward to seeing what you send me

HOLLAND

oooh. handcuffs. next time you're in town, we're doing it. I think you miss me and my art and how much it makes you want to write music.

KEATON

kinky I like it yeah cuz I'm dying without you here nothing in my life makes me want to write music more

HOLLAND

LOOK AT YOU PRETENDING I MATTER. so happy.

KEATON

I only pretend so you'll continue giving me head

HOLLAND

you don't have to like me for me to give you head if you hate me, it might be better

KEATON

I was just making sure you like me enough to give me head what do I have to do to make you hate me? I wanna test this theory I have that hate/angry sex is better

HOLLAND

see that's the problem - I don't get very mad but i'm sure you could mention something in bed that would ignite that in me

KEATON

I think I might know what to say

HOLLAND

hm?

KEATON

I'm not telling, because then you'll be prepared for it

HOLLAND

Well, I guess i can try to be patient but patience isn't something i'm very gooooood at

KEATON

I might not even say it the next time we fuck you're just going to have to keep coming back

HOLLAND

that's dirty af you're being mean to me just because you can

KEATON

is it making you want me more?

HOLLAND

it's 300% making me wet but you're not here - so like what's the point of that?

KEATON

turn on some of my tunes take a break from painting pleasure yourself and pretend I'm there

HOLLAND

'turn on some of my tunes' you slut.

KEATON

you said you touch yourself to my music I'm just trying to help

HOLLAND

i'm just being an asshole :P I'm sure I'll be just fine - i'll channel it into my art

KEATON

you are being an asshole you ruined the mood I should get back to focusing on these songs the guys are getting annoyed

HOLLAND

no come back I can tell you all about what i'm doing to myself all about how badly i wish you were here with your cock in my mouth but if you want to get back to the boys...

KEATON

I thought you were going back to your art

HOLLAND

not a chance.

KEATON

Did you put my music on?

HOLLAND

who says it wasn't already on?

KEATON

I'm just trying to paint the picture I wish we didn't book this damn studio for the entire day

HOLLAND

your music is filling my ears, i'm wearing a loose, white button up with black lace panties.... why? so you could call me and hear me moan your name?

KEATON

Yeah, video call actually That way both your hands are free and I can see what you're doing Fuck

HOLLAND

I can take a little video for you, keats just for your eyes, no one else's

KEATON

don't tempt me like that holls

HOLLAND

*video file pops up on his phone* you can watch that later

KEATON

that was fast i wanna watch it now

HOLLAND

i haven't gotten off yet, but there's a little taste for you

KEATON

I wanna see the whole the show...

HOLLAND

you'll have to wait until next time you see me

KEATON

tease

HOLLAND

that’s me~

KEATON

don't touch yourself until I can call you unless you're going to send me more videos or even a photo or two

HOLLAND

you’re so greedy. Telling me what to do all the way from California.

KEATON

I thought you liked getting bossed around

HOLLAND

looks like you remember something about me

KEATON

I remember a lot a things like the way quiver when I kiss certain parts of your body and the way you say my name when you can't handle it anymore

HOLLAND

there he is. How about the way I taste? Do you remember that?

KEATON

of course are you imagining me tasting you now? how my tongue made you feel

HOLLAND

I was shaking for you. I’m shaking for you again now.

KEATON

nuh uh uh I told you not to touch yourself not yet

HOLLAND

but I need it. You know I’m not very patient.

KEATON

you should learn to be patient you don't know when you'll see me next

#tm

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fierceandunordinarydiva · 7 years

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“It’s not right But it’s okay I’m gonna make it anyway Close the door behind you Leave your key I’d rather be alone than unhappy” – Whitney Houston One of my favorite things to see, is women celebrating the successes of other women. It’s actually brought me to tears when I have seen it happen in front of me. When my daughter was about 17 or 18, I sat in on a parent watch day at her ballet school. As the girls waited their turns to watch each other fly and twirl across the room, snaps and a few claps rung out when someone did well, but mostly there were standard and even as a courtesy, clearly a guarded but kind support of each other. It’s a competitive industry, I get that. There was however ONE girl, a lovely, beautiful strong dancer, who seemed to have a secure sense of self as she stood there. And as my daughter flew across the room and nailed a triple pirouette and the courtesy snaps began, this girl bursted with praise, saying her name and acting like a proud big sister and said “That was amazing, you are beautiful, so proud of you!” I was watching and I started to cry. WHY did I cry!? OF COURSE it was because it was sweet, and I was a proud mom, but part of the reason it touched me, was because between women, THIS IS RARE. Apathy to veil competition is more more prevalent on the daily or worse, shaming and bullying. WHY is it so hard for us to celebrate and cherish each other?

The term “Slut-shaming” is broad, but it’s what I want to discuss or attempt to. A large portion of society thinks it is reserved for a specific group of women making certain choices. I actually see the term covering a bigger range of people. Young girls, teens, young women, middle aged women as well as older women. It affects us all. Over the years, I have been a part of and witnessed women shaming other women, across all parts of life and spectrums. I want to dig into to where it starts, and try to pose some questions that will spark discussions, so each of us can try to figure it out for ourselves.

The Younger Years

I feel as though female shaming for lots of us in the 30 or older generations, started in the home. It was part of the baby boomer generation of our parents. The modest era. It was textbook. Men can express their sexual freedom and physical security, and not be shamed; women cannot for fear of being shamed and called a whore or a slut. Growing up I heard things like,

“You can’t watch that, it’s too risqué” “No makeup until you are older, or you will look like a hooker” “You cannot leave the house like that” “If you wear that skirt you are asking boys to see you as a sex machine” “You should probably cover up, you don’t want guys to get the wrong idea”

What is the “wrong idea”? I have always been confused as to why my choices in attire should somehow also include the sensitivity to the men or boys around me that weren’t able to control themselves. Their issues somehow overrode any feelings I had of pride in my body or excitement about slaying an outfit I was wearing. Instilling a fear that I may be mistreated, harassed or raped because of my clothing, putting the accountability not on the other person, but rather on the girls with their choices in clothing. Parents, what message are we giving to our girls, when we say these things?

I do believe that the parents of my generation and beyond, are working to change these behaviors, but it’s a SLOW process. There are a few factors that contribute to the speed of this changing – mainly because the generations before that were RAISED this way, are now running our country and mostly white, misogynistic men in power. They are making and enforcing rules in offices and schools, they are bribing and paying off sexual abuse incidents so they will go away, they are making laws about our bodies and taking our rights away. That in itself is harmful to any parent or child trying to change the path of their body consciousness and self-worth.

The Teen Years

Middle school and high school are some of the hardest years EMOTIONALLY for everyone. Your hormones are raging, you are trying to fit in, you are clashing with your parents or guardians, life is a hot mess and then add pimples and braces and good lord, I never want to go back to that time ever.

“I’m bossy/ I’m the first girl to scream on a track/ I switched up the beat of the drum” — Kelis

I experienced a lot of shaming from girls in school. At the time I saw it as cruel and mean. I look back now as a mother and an adult, and see it as sad and systematic. We all lashed out because of insecurity and inadequacy issues. We took the shaming most of us had in our homes, and when faced with the ultimate vulnerable situation aka High School, we came armed with weapons. What better than to harm others with than what harmed you – surely those will work! Every girl in high school is struggling with so many things, and for some reason, the females around them are the only ones they find safe to lash out at. The boys around them are comparing them to other girls or worse photoshopped ones in magazines and movies. Young girls see that and we immediately let it affect our self-worth, let it define us. And all at once the battle for unattainable perfection begins, and the meter to measure our progress is set by the women and girls that surround us.

“To love ourselves and support each other in the process of becoming real is perhaps the greatest single act of daring greatly.” – Brene Brown

Right now, mainly girls, in public schools all over the country, are being sent home because of what they are wearing. Sleeveless shirts, skirts too short (but not cheerleaders cause you know, that’s ok…) ripped jeans, the list goes on. The main reason the administration says is because “Wearing those things is DISTRACTING to others in class”. On the evening news here recently, there was a local high school, reporting that students were being sent home for ripped jeans. The group asked to go home was outside of the school with the news reporters. The reporter asked one of the girls outside the building, why they were being sent home. This young girl had a brilliant and calm reply: “They say our jeans are distracting, so they are taking us out of class when in reality, what is really distracting is taking us out of class and not letting us learn.” She is my new favorite human – her parents should be proud.

Young Women – we are adults, KIND OF

Finally we are out of that competitive horrible judgemental place and we can get on with our lives, AMIRITE!? Oh wait. The real world is just as bad…there is just sugar put on things to make them seemingly easier to handle or ingest.

Now we have to deal with shaming in the workplace or in college life. With pressure of what we wear or what we don’t wear. Social media adding an ENTIRE new cog in that wheel, so things like adult videos and nude photography – will also come into play. In preparation for this post, I made a call out to hear other women’s stories. I got a few public replies but it was the several private ones that were shocking. There were women being asked to wear certain types of shirts and bras in their office, as to not be distracting to the men on staff. This HAS to be illegal. But of course no one does anything. It’s seen as okay in schools and places of business because it is shelved under “employee rules” or “Codes of Conduct”. There was a young woman who was a nanny and wore a hip cute bikini to the YMCA and was told by staff they were getting comments from other mothers and that she had to cover up if she came back. How humiliating! There was a woman who was told if she wore white, and her bra was visible, she must wear a tanktop underneath, as to not tempt. These stories were infuriating to me. How on earth is this still happening and being excused? How about you not hire humans that can’t be adults and control themselves. On that note, let’s touch on how it makes us feel, when a young adult woman makes the choice to be a stripper, escort or prostitute.

Treat ’em like a prostitute (Do What?) Don’t treat no girlie well until you’re sure of the scoop – Slick Rick

Several months ago, I had a conversation with a friend of my daughters via Facebook. She made a post about the slut shaming and revenge porn backlash about social media celebrity Blac Chyna. It was over a dirty break-up and her ex decided to shame her revengefully by sharing private nude photos of her, and a private intimate video of them – putting it into the world for all to see without her permission or knowledge. This young girl said in her FB post something to the effect of (she has since deleted the post or I would quote it) “Don’t know why Chyna is so mad at those nude pics being leaked, she’s is a stripper, she does it anyways. You act cheap you get treated cheap”. I decided it was important that I start a dialogue with her publically about this. Ok I am not being honest, I was mad – and I LAID into her. Spouting so many details and points, I am sure her head spun. Her response was “She is a ho, so that’s why she is being treated that way. She needs to respect herself so others will respect her”.

It felt fundamentally wrong to hear that statement come out of a woman’s mouth. There is a GIGANTIC difference between being confident in your body, and choosing to do a job that gives you control over that body – and another human, male or female, taking that power away from you in order to harm or shame you. This young girl isn’t alone, I see different versions of this ALL OVER the media and around me. How often as a woman have you heard or even said these statements (don’t worry, I am guilty of some, too):

“She needs to put some clothes on, no one wants to see all that”

“Did she paint those jeans on?”

“People with asses like that should not wear pants like that”

“She really should get her money back for purchasing so little fabric”

“What is she even wearing!?”

“How did her friends let her wear that?”

Ladies. We have to do better.

ADULT WOMEN – Now we are MOTHERS, raising NEW WOMEN!

So we take what we learn, unlearn ourselves and are determined to raise a more independent, more confident and more secure woman in our own daughters, RIGHT? Wrong. You know that old adage “We grow up to become our mothers”? Well, it drives me crazy, as I have worked my ass off to be the exact opposite of my mother and how I was raised. However it still happens. The insecurities and prudish ways of my mother peeked through out of sheer fear of putting my sweet daughter into the rough misogynistic world! It was about me doing what those girls in high school resorted to. I was worried that she would be hurt, judged and shamed, so I took every measure to make sure it didn’t happen. When Madison was 11 she wanted to wear makeup. I was horrified. She already had girls at school teasing her. WHAT is she thinking, that would surely make it worse!

It was then that my husband gave me that cabin pressure/airplane landing moment, he said “You are doing exactly what your mom did to you when you act like this. And you grew up, had issues with friends and with your body because of it. How about you do the opposite. Let her explore. Let her find herself and feel beautiful in her way. Let her find her own way and support her regardless.” And with his help and reminders, that’s what I did. And it WORKED.

I recently witnessed an exchange on professional ballerina Michaela DePrince’s instagram when she posted a photo where she was partially topless. There was a comment from a Dance Mom – whose young daughter is a fan of DePrince. It was a shaming comment to make her feel badly about posting a photo that was partially topless and she told her to have more “self respect” and that it made her not want her daughter to see it. DePrince’s response was so lovely and strong. It was exactly how I hope this next generation of women would respond to shaming by another female, or anyone for that matter. But alas I know that sadly, Michaela’s reply isn’t the norm, YET.

Why do we as parents automatically shame the female when we feel that something is different, too expressive or god forbid, scandalous? We need to challenge ourselves and each other to take a step back, to not react impulsively, to resist the urge to immediately degrade the choices of females. I am so concerned as to why our first instinct isn’t praise, support and love and I am convinced that we need to start training our minds to start making that change.

Doesn’t it seem like since day one for each of us, we have been competing for the same thing? The approval and appreciation of what society thinks the perfect woman is. Goals of having the words “Perfect” and “full package” being used to describe us. Some of us even find men that says things like “Arm candy” and “Dime piece” or even “Prize” to make us feel worthy and loved.

My fear is that this typical woman, who needs this approval, grows up to excuse an abuser. She is a victim of sexual assault, or even worse. I grew up with some many instances that were discussed here, and I KNEW it wasn’t right, but it was ok and excused by everyone around me, so after awhile, it became acceptable. This week in the news, Hollywood mega mogul and producer Harvey Weinstein was accused of sexual assault by numerous actresses. Tons of fellow actors coming to the support of their fellow actresses on social media. Then yesterday, designer Donna Karan of DKNY was quoted at a fashion event when asked about it and came out to defend Weinstein and blame the victims. “You look at everything all over the world today and how women are dressing and what they are asking by just presenting themselves the way they do. What are they asking for? Trouble.” This is a woman who designs sexy women’s clothing. I spat at the TV. I also have a DKNY bedspread now up for grabs if anyone wants it.

THIS is what this entire post is about. THIS is where our problem is. Are we giving the next generation of women the tools to combat this type of rape culture blaming? Do all women know their value and worth – are we able to bind together to be a united front when the victim shaming and rape culture blame comes at them full force? I know that the young women of my generation were not able to do that.

I am however hopeful of this next one, because now we are seeing small light coming through the cracks in the once broken spirit of women, a confidence in the new generation of females. Young women that are fierce, that are proud of their bodies, that are not afraid to stand up to a man or an organization to protect their rights. Women that don’t ask how they look in their dresses or if their ass looks big, but instead they own the dress and the ass and give zero fucks what people think of them in it.

Hopefully these young, powerful and body-conscious females can use that security and tenacity to bind together and bond with the women around them. We can show solidarity, love and support rather than apathy, competition and cruelty. To realize that celebrating our female coworkers, peers, friends or even family members, doesn’t mean we are any less fierce ourselves. Celebrating and cherishing the women around us will just create a more powerful sense of self, and a camaraderie that cannot be bought or faked, and will give us a shield and superpower to properly deflect the misogyny in everyday life. It will create a new normal filled with the Alpha Female – taking our rightful place equally among the men in our society and lives.

It’s Not Right, But its Ok… "It's not right But it's okay I'm gonna make it anyway Close the door behind you…

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