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vibrantbirdy · 1 year

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Pursuit: A Ben Solo Star Wars Story - Chapter 4

Title: Pursuit Fandom: Star Wars: Skywalker Saga Genres: Sci-Fi, Action/Adventure, Romance Setting: Post The Rise of Skywalker (Ben Solo lives!) Chapter: 4/? Main Character: Ben Solo (Kylo Ren) Warnings: Canon-typical violence; adventure peril; minor angst, mild sexuality/mutual sexual feelings - slow burn be slow burning; any further warnings will be specified by chapter Main Pairings: Ben Solo/OC Other Pairings throughout: Poe/Finn; Mentions of Ben Solo (Kylo Ren)/Rey Author's Note: My postings have finally caught up with my writing so I'm breaking new ground now, but I still hope to get a chapter out once a week. I'm also playing Jedi: Survivor at the moment, so there are other distractions...

Pinned Post: Please find all completed chapters of Pursuit here.

Read: Chapter 1 ; Chapter 2; Chapter 3

Summary: Three years after surviving events on the planet Exegol, Ben Solo is carving out a solitary life for himself in the New Republic against the backdrop of reconstruction. His pursuance of quiet redemption is interrupted when a new threat to the Galaxy emerges from an old and terrifying enemy. With the help of new friends and unlikely allies, Ben must set out into Wild Space to defeat the darkness rising and put his own demons to rest once and for all.

Chapter 4 (Word Count: 6330)

Grand Inquisitor, Endo Seris, stood on the bridge of the Imperial Star Destroyer he had rechristened Seeker. A bit on the nose perhaps, but why beat around the bush? He'd never had the patience for subtlety.

The old relic was one of many Imperial ships he'd salvaged over the years from various places across Wild Space - junk yards, pirate strongholds, abandoned Imperial and First Order outposts. His fleet was growing day by day, although only one of his ten Destroyers, this one, was in good enough condition to fly as far as needed for this mission.

Second Sister and Third Brother flanked him on either side. Both had proven themselves worthy apprentices over the past three years. Second Sister, an adept Force wielder, had showed particular promise.

After bearing witness to the demise of the Emperor on Exegol at the hands of the traitor Ren and the Jedi girl, Seris had fled with remnants of the Sith Eternal into the very depths of Wild Space.

There, Seris had found them. His new kin. There had been slim pickings in terms of prey out on the very edge of the Galaxy to hone his students' skills but he had managed. Now, both young warriors were adept hunters of the Force sensitive.

“Officer Denkins,” Seris turned to the Officer at the helm. “Have we been detected by the New Republic?” “No Sir,” the Officer answered with a hint of pride.

Seris reached out through the Force and detected the pulse of ambition coursing through the young helmsman's veins. That was acceptable. Like all of Seris' skeleton crew, this young man was the result of generations of families with Imperial loyalties. Like his ships, Seris offered those faithful to the ideals and legacy of the Galactic Empire a new purpose.

Officer Denkins was wearing an Imperial uniform which Seris suspected had belonged to his father's father. It was worn and faded with age, but young man obviously took pride in it. There was not a crease, nor speck of dust to be seen.

Seris turned his attention back to the small freighter on their flank. The Force works in mysterious ways. How convenient that Kylo Ren and this Force sensitive youngling had found their way to each other. Seris had already been briefed on his chief engineer's conclusion that the old Destroyer's capability to lock on to their target was not yet operational. A shame today would not be the day he made Ren pay for his treachery, but it was no real matter. There was no rush. That day would come in time.

“They are getting away,” Third Brother growled in frustration, as they watched the small freighter carrying Ren and the girl from Bakura power up its engines to make the jump to light speed.

Third Brother, able warrior and skilled hunter though he was, had a tendency to look at what was right in front of him and miss the bigger picture. Second Sister had no such weakness. She was gifted with almost unnatural patience and she was sage with it too.

“Second Sister,” Seris asked, “What do you think Ren is going to do now that he understands we are not a mere manifestation of his pitiable, damaged psyche?”

“I feel the conflict raging within him, Grand Inquisitor,” Second Sister answered, eyes closed, a hungry smile spreading across her face.

“Ren has a pathetic desire to prove himself useful to the New Republic, to be worthy of their forgiveness. He is weak and he will not be able to resist the pull to the Light. He,” she paused as her wolfish grin widened, “will come to us.” “Precisely,” Seris said, pleased with her intelligent evaluation. “And when he does, he will lead us to the very heart of the new Jedi Order.”

He clenched his fist thinking of the sweetness of the victory to come. He watched Ren's ship stretch then disappear in a flash of light as it made the jump to hyper space.

Then he turned on his heel, giving Officer Denkins the order set a course back to Wild Space as he strode off the Seeker's bridge. He was satisfied, if not pleased, with the day's events.

********************************************************************

Poe Dameron found himself questioning his own reality as he stood in the middle of a large forest clearing on some backwater planet in the Mid Rim face to face with Kylo Ren.

Ren's ship sat at the opposite side of the clearing from Poe and Finn's borrowed HWK-290 light freighter. It was an old ship, but boy was she still fast, and they'd needed to take something quick and light to make the rendezvous on time. Poe had taken immense pleasure in flying it at the very limit of its speed threshold, much to Finn's chagrin.

Ren's face was different. More open, almost placid. Certainly much less like he was walking around with the world's worst tension headache. It made him look younger somehow despite the short beard he now wore. This man looked like your everyday variety cargo pilot.

Still, the intensity of his eyes, though less feral, had not faded.

“What do you want, Ren?” asked Poe, determining that this time, he definitely would talk first.

Poe could have sworn that the former Supreme Leader of the First Order had flinched at the mention of his old name. Poe revelled in it, although he knew he shouldn't.

He felt Finn, ever his conscience, move slightly at his shoulder, and Poe knew well enough that that was a subtle message for him to behave.

Solo from now on then, though Poe hardly thought he deserved to use the name.

“I need your help,” Ren - Solo – said, having regained his composure annoyingly quickly, “What do you know about the Inquisitorius?”

Silence.

“Nothing,” Poe admitted after a beat.

He spread his hands theatrically, gesturing to Solo that he should continue if he really had to.

“Please. Why don't you enlighten us.”

Solo explained that in the time of the Empire, an Order of Inquisitors, ruthless Force sensitive warriors, some former Jedi who had been turned to the Dark Side, had specialised in hunting down and slaughtering any Jedi who had survived Palpatine's purge. These Inquisitors would often capture Force sensitive children, brainwashing them and turning them into killing machines for the Empire.

Poe had thought he'd known everything there was to know about the depraved depths the Empire had sunk to in its domination of the Galaxy - how had he never heard of this? He had a sudden and unexpected rush of – what? Sympathy for Solo?

Maybe not quite. Perhaps he could best define it as a new perspective on the deplorable path that Solo's life had taken as Kylo Ren. From what he'd heard, Solo had been little more than an impressionable, lost kid himself when Snoke had corrupted him and turned him to the Dark Side.

“They're back,” Solo said, “They are searching for me and...”

“Ah, now we're getting to it,” Poe scoffed, so incensed he was physically unable to let Solo finish his sentence, “What are you asking? You want us to waste Republic time and resources because you're finally going to get your comeuppance from these guys for being a turn coat? C'mon!”

“That's not it.” Solo's tone was irritatingly level.

“OK, well,” Poe threw up his hands, “Whatever it is, this sounds more like Jedi business, so isn't it time you and Rey just...”

“No,” Solo and Finn said simultaneously.

They shared a strange look of knowing agreement which Poe found to be infuriating. The first time Finn had opened his mouth since they'd got there and he'd used it to agree with Kylo kriffing Ren.

“No,” Ben repeated still looking with a sort of mild curiosity at Finn.

“If they capture me and I know where Rey's Temple is...”

He trailed off before redirecting his piercing gaze towards Poe.

“Do you understand what I'm saying?”

Poe nodded grimly, clenching his teeth and trying to keep his anger at bay. He did understand, boy did he understand. Memories of his own desperate attempts to resist Ren's excruciating probing of his mind for information; his futile efforts to protect his friends; the abject failure that followed.

He felt Finn's hand come to rest on the small of his back, a small gesture of comfort, but one which allowed him to refocus.

“It's not just about me, Dameron. They will hunt down and eliminate any Jedi that they find in whatever manner they see fit.”

Solo's words were quiet but steady as he continued in that deep monotone of his.

“They're building their numbers and amassing a fleet.”

“A fleet?” Finn asked incredulously. “From what? Scraps?”

“Yes.”

The answer was so simple, neither Poe nor Finn it seemed had any comeback prepared.

“I've seen it,” Solo continued. “They tracked me on an Imperial Star Destroyer from Wild Space to the edge of the Mid Rim.”

Poe rolled his eyes and he thought he even heard Finn let out an exasperated sigh. He was glad to know they were finally on the same page about this.

What a load of Bantha crap.

“Old Imperial ships don't have that tech...” Finn started, but Solo cut across him.

“No, I mean the Inquisitor tracked me. Not the ship.”

“They can do that?” Finn asked tentatively, “Using the Force?”

Solo nodded.

“They specialise in it.”

Then,

“If they go unchecked, they won't stop until they raze the New Republic to the ground.”

Solo's ominous words left a wake of empty, sober silence. The three men stood looking at one another for a moment. Poe sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He turned to Finn who shrugged. Poe heard his affable voice in his head. Let's hear him out.

“Okay, what are you suggesting, Solo?” Poe asked, finally.

“I play them at their own game. I track them through Wild Space, I find their stronghold, take stock of their forces and I report back to you.”

Solo's face broke into a crooked grin which was so unexpectedly charming it was almost shocking. Poe had never seen the man smile before.

“And then the New Republic blow them all to hell.”

At this, Poe couldn't keep a reluctant smirk of his own from lifting the corners of his mouth.

“Well,” he said, turning to Finn who grinned back, “I gotta admit, I kinda like the sound of that.”

“There's something else...”

“Oh perfect,” Poe quipped under his breath as he exchanged a nervous glance with Finn.

Solo took out a transponder and spoke into it.

“You can come out now,” he said.

*********************************************************************

Ada listened intently as Ben and the two strangers explained to her about a woman called Rey who was master of a new Jedi Temple. The Temple was safely hidden on a planet deep within the heart of the New Republic. Even Ben didn't know where it was. Poe Dameron and Finn – just Finn apparently – would take Tallah there and this Rey would help her hone her abilities.

Tallah stood between her and Ben, one little warm hand in hers, the other enveloped in Ben's.

“Tallah,” Ada said softly, moving between the girl and Ben and dropping to one knee so that she was level with her niece.

She tucked a stray blonde lock behind the girl's ear.

“I think you should go with them. Their friend can help you with your gift. But I won't make you. It's your choice”

Tallah nodded. “I want to go, I want to learn.”

She leaned in conspiratorially with a furtive glance at Finn and Poe and whispered, “I think they're nice.”

Overhearing this, Poe shrugged in an exasperated but not unkind sort of a way. He was clearly slightly bewildered at the whole situation. From the way they reacted to one another, it was obvious he, Finn and Ben had some history. Finn just smiled reassuringly.

They did seem “nice.” Or at least good enough to take on the responsibility of transporting a child in danger somewhere safe. And they certainly seemed capable of it. Ben had filled her in on the way – these guys were apparently Resistance war heroes.

It was a strange thing for Ada to even be considering letting her niece go with these two men she'd never met before. She'd spent the past few months hardly daring to even let her out of her sight. But she'd learned to trust Tallah's assessment of character and her ability to read people's intentions implicitly. It had kept them alive up until now. And besides, she found herself trusting Ben's judgement too.

Tallah looked over the top of Ada's head.

“Ben, will I get a laser sword?”

Ben let out a short burst of laughter, a pleasing wrinkle appearing on the bridge of his nose. Dameron and Finn were staring at him with a sort of disbelieving fascination. It was as if he'd just grown another head. Ben must have noticed it too because he quickly dialled back his mirth.

“Maybe kid,” he patted Tallah on her golden head.

“Ada's going with you,” she said to him simply and a little sadly, although Ada hadn't discussed it with her and it broke her heart to know that Tallah had worked it out on her own.

She could feel Ben's eyes burning into the back of her head and just knew he was looking at her with that that appraising gaze of his.

Great, she thought, standing up and dusting the forest floor off her knees in preparation for an disagreement. She spun round to face him. Infuriatingly, she realised she only came up to his chin.

“You know damn well you'll be more efficient with a navigator, someone who knows the terrain,” she said defiantly, refusing to let Ben get the first word, “I grew up in Wild Space.”

“I thought it was just space to you,” Ben shot back, but there was a lightness to his tone and Ada realised with some embarrassment that he'd not been intending argue with her at all.

“Are you sure, Ada?” was all he asked.

“Tallah will be safe with this woman, Rey?”

She answered his question with her own. The only one that mattered.

“Yes,” all three men spoke the word at once.

Ada was almost as amused as she was reassured by their uniform certainty.

“Tallah?”

Ada fixed her niece with a meaningful look. Tallah gave her a brave smile and a determined nod.

That kid. So much like her mother, Brenna. Ada's heart gave a little leap of pride that was mixed with melancholy and grief.

“Then yes, I'm sure,” she confirmed, “I can't just sit around and wait and do nothing, not when I can help. I have to do this.”

Ben considered her keenly. Ada wondered if he were using the Force to read her and whether it would even bother her if he was.

Tendrils of wild black hair drifted across his face in the breeze. She wanted to reach up and brush them out of his golden eyes so that she could see them better.

He nodded.

**********************************************************************

Ben glanced over at Ada who had fallen asleep in the Swift's copilot's chair. She would have looked wholly content if it weren't for the droplets of water still clinging to her long lashes, despite her slumber.

Ben knew that the choice had been a difficult and traumatic one. When she'd said farewell to Tallah, she'd embraced her neice so tightly and for so long, that at one point Ben thought he might have to intervene before the girl turned blue.

He allowed himself a small smile, remembering how Tallah had sprinted at him to say goodbye. He'd picked her up and she'd buried her face into his hair, whispering in his ear to look after her aunt. The Swift was quiet without her and he was surprised at how much he felt her absence.

He was both grateful and surprised that Ada had decided to accompany him. A co-pilot familiar with the territory of Wild Space would be invaluable, especially as they'd need to avoid the busier, well-travelled navigation routes.

Ben might be a skilled navigator and an excellent pilot, both talents heightened through his strong connection with the Force, but he'd spent very little time deep in Wild Space. The times he had ventured out that far, he'd really rather forget...

The meeting with Dameron and the ex-Stormtrooper, had gone better than Ben had expected. Still, as they'd all turned to depart, Dameron had caught his arm roughly and taken him to one side away from the others.

Ada had raised her eyebrows at Ben but she hadn't stopped, instead making her way back to the Swift alone. Ben was relieved. Ada had clearly sensed that it was important that he and Dameron hash out whatever unfinished business this was in private.

Ben had watched her retreat, her arms crossed and shoulders hunched slightly. Although it wasn't cold, he saw her pull the fawn shawl that was draped across her shoulders tighter around her. Ben could feel the worry and guilt coursing through her at the thought of leaving Tallah. Still, as ever, he sensed that steady and constant determination burning bright at the very core of her being.

Meanwhile, heading in the opposite direction and with only a passing quizzical glance at Dameron, Finn made his way back to their ship with Tallah in tow. He and the girl were chatting animatedly to each other and Ben felt a rush of gratitude towards the ex-Stormtrooper.

Ben had never forgotten his first encounter with FN-2187 in the village on Jakku. Even then, Kylo Ren had sensed that the Force was strong within him although untrained and undisciplined, perhaps even unnoticed by the Trooper. He suspected that FN-2187 had been relying on his heightened instincts for years - like a sixth sense – not realising that this was something more than feelings.

What had really alerted Ren to the Stormtrooper's presence that night his First Order Division had descended upon the tiny village to intercept Resistance intel and capture Dameron, had been FN-2187's refusal to follow the order to open fire on the villagers. This, despite knowing the possible consequences he could bring upon himself. Even Ren, his head swirling with ambition and fury had the insight to recognise that this was not an act of cowardice. It was an act of courage.

Finn was clearly a man strong of heart and generous of spirit. Ben understood now why Rey had valued his friendship so deeply.

“Look, I really want to believe that you've turned some corner,” Dameron had said when he was sure the others were out of earshot, “but if you're playing us, or her,” his eyes flicked to Ada's retreating back, “in any way, I will come for you.”

Dameron's tone was low and dangerous, and Ben could feel the sharp, hot edges of his temper rising. With effort, he pushed it back down. While Dameron's suspicion riled him, he knew he couldn't blame the pilot for his caution. In fact, it was one of the reasons he trusted the man so much.

They might not like each other, but Ben knew more than most about Poe Dameron.

After capturing Dameron that night three years ago on Jakku, Ren had tortured him for information, using the Force to break his way violently into the pilot's mind.

The more he delved into Dameron's head, the more infuriated Ren had become. Dameron was so sure of who he was. A man so able to accept the life he'd made for himself; the person he was. A man who celebrated his successes, mourned his failures and learned from these experiences, from his loves, his losses. All of it.

Even after getting the information he needed, Ren could not stop himself from probing Dameron's consciousness with a twisted sort of fascination. It brought into sharp, painful focus the limitless failings Ren knew resided within himself.

Ren's inability to face his own fears paralysed him. His hopeless fury at his own inadequacies left him unable to learn from them. And the Dark Side, ever present, compounding his potent desire for power had left him unable to change any of it.

Ren had looked into Poe Dameron's very soul and had found an individual of great conviction, loyalty and bravery. It was how Ben now knew there was no safer place in the Galaxy for Tallah.

Except maybe with Rey.

“I understand,” he had replied, simply.

Dameron had given Ben a strange, hard look before speaking next as if he were weighing up whether or not to tell him something.

“Go to Theod first – it's just another backwater moon right on the edge of the Outer Rim. I'll patch coordinates through to your ship. We have a listening outpost there looking out for any remnant First Order activity. They might have heard something.”

Dameron paused and cleared his throat.

“Chewbacca's there.”

Ben felt all the air leave his body, as if he'd been punched in the gut. His calm expression must have slipped because when he refocused on Dameron's face, he was surprised to see a glint of reluctant sympathy in the man's eyes.

“Look, he knows what you did on Exegol. And he knows you saved Rey... I just... I can't promise he'll be happy to see you,” Dameron offered awkwardly.

Ben nodded, hoping he'd regained some of his external composure.

“Thank you.”

As a parting gesture, Dameron slapped Ben on the shoulder, probably just a little harder than was strictly necessary. Then, he'd stalked off to his ship, leaving Ben alone, cutting a tall, solitary figure in the still forest clearing.

Now, as he sat in the pilot's chair on the Swift, he inhaled deeply, trying to remember and recapture the scent of pine and damp earth from that afternoon in hopes it would quiet his roiling thoughts. He desperately needed to recentre himself, to ground himself in the Force. His mind was in turmoil at the very thought of seeing Chewbacca.

The last time Ben had seen the Wookie had been the day he'd killed his own father. When he thought of Han Solo's death, he did not try to escape culpability by separating the actions of Kylo Ren from his own. Ben Solo had been agonisingly present on that metal gangway too, suspended high up above the mechanical insides of the First Order's Starkiller Base.

More than anything, Ben had wanted to take his father's proffered hand that day, to escape the hell of the First Order and of Snoke's iron rule and to go home to his family. His greatest shame, his greatest regret was that the moment the chance to turn back to the Light had presented itself he was just too weak to take it. Too weak to resist the seduction of Dark Side.

All the nightmares of his father's death were accompanied by the echo of Chewbacca's anguished roar as Kylo Ren finally ignited his crackling, red saber and sent the blade straight through Han Solo's body.

That howl from Chewbacca as he was forced to witness his best friend fall into the mechanical abyss below was seared into Ben's mind like the white hot pain from the crossbow bolt fired into his left flank soon after from the Wookie's weapon.

Ben had grown up knowing the Wookie as part of his family. “Uncle Chewie” had even taught him some Wookie fighting methods before Leia had sent the boy away to her brother to train as a Jedi. In fact, that was one of the reasons behind Ben's forward leaning fighting stance.

Wookies used their size and strength to their advantage in combat, and Ben had integrated that principle into his technique with a lightsaber. Luke had recognised this immediately and had always found this amusing. He'd never corrected Ben's form. It worked.

All of Ben's fond memories of the Wookie were sullied by his own reprehensible actions. He couldn't imagine a universe in which Chewbacca could forgive him, and he certainly could never forgive himself. To see the Wookie again would force him to relive the worst day of his life. He had no idea if he was strong enough to do so.

Still, Ben knew that if he wanted to track the Inquisitorius, he hadn't much of a choice. If there was even a slight possibility that Chewbacca held intel....

Not only had the sudden and brazen appearance of the Imperial Destroyer in the Mid Rim convinced Ben that the threat was even greater than he could have possibly even imagined, worse still, when the colossal vessel had dropped out of hyper space, his link with the Force had abruptly alerted him to the presence of not one Inquisitor, but three.

For a few seconds, Ben closed his eyes and buried his head in his hands, pushing his fingers through his hair and trying to clear his mind. He sat up and conducted a check on the Swift's flight and navigation settings. They were on course to make Theod in five hours at light speed. Hyperdrive looked fine, surprisingly.

It was no use sitting staring out at the stars whizzing by and ruminating, Ben decided. He would run some lightsaber drills instead in the hopes that physical exertion might quiet his racing mind.

Ada was still sleeping peacefully in the chair beside him and Ben didn't see the need to wake her. She could probably do with the rest. He noticed that her beige shawl had slipped off one shoulder and her pale skin beneath was starting to rise into little goosebumps.

Ben stood as quietly as he could, reaching over to Ada and pulling the wayward material back up over her shoulder. He crept through to the Swift's living area, returning a moment later with a woollen blanket which he draped gently over the sleeping woman. He allowed his eyes to linger on her face for a moment.

Force, she was beautiful.

He shook himself, not wanting her to wake up and find him standing over her like some idiot. He left her slumbering in her chair and padded silently out of the Swift's cockpit, through the living area, and down the arterial passageway to the storage room he used for training.

************************************************************************

Ada was pleasantly cosy. She was cocooned in a blanket and nestled in a surprisingly comfy high backed chair. As she slowly came to, she realised that must have fallen asleep in the cockpit of the Swift. Ben must have covered her with the blanket to keep her from getting cold.

The soft hum from Swift's engines was so soothing, it was almost impossible for Ada to even contemplate moving. But there was another noise, something above the gentle roar of the ship. A strange, low buzzing sound in the distance.

The Swift's copilot chair squeaked as Ada sat up with a jolt. Her thoughts were muddied with the confusion of sleep. She'd heard that sound before. That night on Bakura. The night the Inquisitor had come. A lightsaber. He couldn't be here. Could he? No.

Ben? It must be Ben.

Throwing the blanket around her shoulders, Ada tiptoed out of the cockpit and through the ship, following the oscillations until she came to the storage room on the main passage.

She pressed her ear against the cold metal, imagining Ben's movements within, blade in hand twirling, rising and falling to that steady, electric thrum and swish. She couldn't say why, but Ada thought it an entirely different sound to that which had emanated from the Inquisitor's weapon. Less abrasive. More melodic.

She pressed the green door chime button and it rang out with a pleasant trilling sound.

“It's open,” came Ben's slightly muffled voice from the other side.

Ada passed her hand over the entry controls and the door hissed open. Ben was standing in the middle of the room, lightsaber in hand, his breathing heightened slightly with exertion. He was wearing a loose long-sleeved black t-shirt. The v at his neck hung low and slightly squint, allowing Ada sight of that strange white scar that trailed down the right side of his face and past his collar bone. It was so faint it was almost non-existent. She wanted to trace her finger tips down it to make sure it was really there.

Around the edges of the room, durasteel crates and containers of different sizes sat at varying heights and angles against the walls, clearly put together as some kind of makeshift obstacle course.

“Are you coming in?” Ben asked, a spark of amusement in his eyes.

He thumbed a switch on the weapon's hilt and the blue blade retracted as Ada entered and the doors swished closed behind her.

“I don't want to interrupt, I was just …. curious.”

“I was just finishing up anyway.”

“Oh,” Ada tried to hide her disappointment.

It felt childish, but Ada had wanted to see. As a kid, she'd loved listening to her grandfather's stories of Jedi Knights, their daring exploits and their skill with their legendary blades. He'd been a boy during the very last days of the Republic. Before the scourge of the Empire. His mother had once taken him on a visit to see family on the vast city planet of Coruscant. He'd begged her to take him to see the Jedi Temple, and Ada remembered how reverently her Grandpa used to speak of his memories of standing outside the sacred, gargantuan building watching the mighty Jedi sweep past in their robes on important business, lightsabers clinking at their hips.

But apart from the Inquisitor's dual bladed nightmare, Ada had never seen a lightsaber. Not one carried by a Jedi at least. Then again, Ben had insisted that he wasn't a Jedi...

Ben secured his lightsabre to his belt, then went over to a small trunk in the far corner of the room. He took out two wooden training sabers and tossed one to Ada. She caught it easily and grinned at Ben, throwing her cloak of a blanket off and into a corner of the room with a dramatic flourish.

Ada's grandfather had fought in the Rebel Alliance against the Empire at the very height of its dominion. Inspired by his boyhood obsession with the Jedi, Grandpa had substituted a vibroblade for lack of a lightsaber in ground combat, rather than use a blaster. Whenever he visited, Ada begged him to give her lessons although she was only little and he was very old.

She tried to remember the basic stance Grandpa had taught her. Left foot forward, right foot back, weight distributed evenly. She held the grip with both hands, right above the left, and raised the hilt of the weapon to shoulder height.

“Perfect, just widen your grip a little.” Ben placed his own weapon on the floor and moved close behind Ada.

She bit her lip to suppress a gasp as his breath tickled her right ear. He readjusted the position of her hands beneath his own on the hilt of the weapon. In this way, Ben manoeuvred the weapon in Ada's hands so that she got a feeling for a high block, a low block and then a strike. They repeated these movements a few times until Ada had the flow and positioning right.

“Good,” Ben's voice was so low it was almost a whisper.

The single word reverberated through Ada, making her flush as she felt the stirrings of desire deep in the pit of her stomach. There was something intoxicating about his closeness to her. That heady scent of Endor pine wood again, pleasantly mixed with the heat of physical exertion. Their proximity, his chest pressed against her back and his large hands on hers meant that she could feel Ben's heartbeat pulsing through his whole body. It was beating a steady rhythm, but Ada was certain it was slightly elevated. She wondered if he could feel her own heart which was beating so wildly in her chest, she thought it might burst.

Ben disengaged from her, moving away to pick up his weapon and face her. Ada felt a flash of satisfaction to see that he did indeed look a little flustered. He disguised it with a crooked smirk, raising his weapon to strike the first blow.

He moved slowly and deliberately, allowing Ada to parry, parry, then strike. Then Ada moved towards him - strike, strike, parry – the same pattern in reverse.

They repeated this back and fore over and over again. Ada found she was able to pick it up with ease, her training as a child not so forgotten after all. She and Ben gained speed and momentum until they were going so fast and their movements were so ostentatious, so deliberately ridiculous that Ada couldn't help but burst out laughing. Ben joined her, folding at the waist.

He was more animated than Ada had ever seen him. It was the first time she'd seen him really and freely enjoying himself. Ever since they'd met, he'd been a mystery. A reserved but capable man with a mysterious, perhaps dangerous past. The way he'd showed no fear when the pirates had boarded the Swift or in the face of the violence and threats that followed. The way Tallah had described his ferociousness in combat with the Inquisitor. But the obvious truth Ada had learned about Ben was that he was clearly burdened with an overbearing and inescapable sadness.

It lifted Ada's heart to see this side of him. His amber eyes crinkled with mirth, cheeks dimpling as a grin stretched across his face, his long nose crumpling as he laughed.

“Ok, time to improvise,” Ben said, once they finally managed to get a grip of themselves.

Ben raised his training saber and Ada followed suit as they circled one another. Ben's strikes became more unpredictable as he started forcing Ada to block at odd angles. He began to land strikes on Ada's body.

She could tell he was being easy on her, going gentle. Still, she had to admit that he cut an imposing figure even with a training weapon and she was glad she didn't have to fight him for real.

Finally, determined to get back at him for the several stinging blows he'd inflicted on her, Ada used her smaller stature to her advantage. She deftly blocked an overhead attack from her opponent, quickly ducking and twirling under his arms and... Yes! She landed a strike on Ben with a satisfying thwack across his bottom and down the back of his right thigh.

He yelped and then laughed in delight at her success. Ada was almost certain he'd allowed her to land the blow, but she revelled her in her victory none the less, beaming from ear to ear.

“You've done this before,” he chucked, theatrically holding his backside and walking a little circle.

“A little,” she admitted, smirking, “My grandfather taught me some moves. It was a long time ago.”

Ada dropped down to the floor, cross-legged, pleasantly exhausted and satisfied with her little win. Ben sat down opposite her and they relaxed in comfortable silence while they caught their breath.

“So. Theod?” Ada asked, breaking the quiet as she suddenly remembered the brief conversation they'd had in the cockpit before she'd fallen asleep.

Ben nodded, “We're going to see a Wookie.”

“A Wookie?!” Ada exclaimed in delight.

“Yeah, well, this one's not going to be pleased to see me...”

“What? Why?”

Ben fixed her with a look that said she didn't want to know. Ada really, really did want to know, but she saw in Ben's eyes the encroaching shadow of that sadness and turmoil which seemed to simmer, always, within him. She suddenly found she had no desire to press him further. Not right now.

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killeriknik · 7 months

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Killer Fish #1:

2000s Christian Metal

cleaning out some drawers, i rediscovered this album today. unfortunately, the cd and front cover have been lost somewhere in my house (hopefully). but it reminded me of a subgenre, or really a movement, that i hadnt considered fully before.

i found this cd in the basement of an odd store, half of which is a Moon Pie General Store, where you could find anything moonpie related as well as typical tourist junk. however, the other part of this business is a christian book store. on the main floor they sold new books. past the selections of bibles and christian novels/self help/anything, past the surprisingly funny secular selections of diary of a wimpy kid and Five Nights at Freddys novels, and past the section of childrens entertainment, there is a GIGANTIC basement.

scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net

scontent-atl3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

im not sure where the basement items they sold at a discounted price came from. it was like flea market levels of unsold stock. im talkin odd sh*t. at points they had 18+ erotica from the 90s, some Star Wars Episode 1 merch i regret not buying, 14 billion copies of a political hate book about president Obama, and of course a shit ton of cds. ive found suprisingly obscure and amazing books there, but thats not what this is about.

sometime maybe 2020-2021 i found this cd for 3 bucks. being an edgy teen with a hatred of Christianity, i was enthralled to find such a cd with the album name "buried alive." at a time in my life where i had limited to no internet access but blossoming music taste (and an impressive cd collection), I listened to this shit SO MUCH. heres one of my favs.

youtube

(sorry, wish i could find a better site to link their music, but the only site they seemed to upload to was myspace, and for some reason the site is broken, idk im not familiar with myspace)

The band Inhale Exhale was a semi popular american metal(core) group, hailing from Ohio. and like so many independent rock bands with the best music youve ever heard, they promptly disbanded with only a few albums under their belt.

R.I.P inhale exhale, 2005 - 2013.

its that yummy yummy mix of metal, emo, melodic hardcore, and probably countless other labels (can you tell i have a distaste for genres?) that rocked the scene in the 2000s to early 2010s, around a time when the Jesus Freak Movement had revived and infused its 70s hippie values into the grungey, edgy and dark undertones of the late 90s-00s, delivering the gospel with a unabashed punch. truly of another era, an era i wish i had experienced. i think this was the first "metal" music i ever listened to on my own, but i found out just today that they were in fact a christian metal band.

this year ive been really into metal related music. but ive also been really into the concept of christianity. my family, really my entire community ive been raised in is "christian". going to "christian" schools, having only christian "friends", adult role models who were "christian", its always been about salvation and damnation. as i became a teenager, i evolved into a creature who despised this religion, for many good reasons im sure ill talk on another time, but also pure teenage rebellion. studying the bible this year (as a part of my last year in.. you guessed it... a christian school) has been oddly eye-opening. maybe ive matured since i last cracked open the holy bibbel. but ive found myself debating the idea of it. at its core, it seems to my mind to be the best sounding religion out there. what i love most is the rich story and the themes of love, redemption, brokenness, true evil and true good; they resonate with me.

christian metal really hits the spot. the themes i have deep history with, pared with the aggression and beauty of the screams and rage filled melodic guitar riffs, as well as my personally over powering, nostalgic/anmoiac obsession for the 00s and early 10s creates a great mix. its a movement of music i wish i could be present in.

and why did christian metalcore decline in popularity into the 10s and 20s? im sure theres not an easy answer. i mean, look at popular christian music and culture today. its

so.

BLAND.

so void of life and culture, void of our beautiful human qualities. they speak the same, often hateful, script; they water down the thought provoking concepts and stories of their religion, and they try to remove what they think isnt acceptable. a lot of these christian metalcore groups have abandoned their roots, stating their disagreements with Christianity, which of course is valid.

hey, im still not sold on christianity, im still learning. everyone has their own free will to find what idealogies or lack thereof to believe in. so i mean no hate

i do feel though, in certain circumstances perhaps, this says something disturbing abt modern christianity. its mindnumbing. its boring. its really sad and honestly, with how perfected it appears to be, its f*cking ugly.

it also seems to connect with the way life today just dosent hit like it used to, and i know im not alone in my age group thinking this. there seems to be a blandness encroaching on our art and lives today. in the music, films, internet; a corporatization and general simplification of our art has been slowly killing us.

i long for a time when christians could death growl about god. but honestly, this can be done today if we really try. fuck modern christianity, fuck modernism in general; this isnt just for the christians. go nuts. scream, riot, portray your truths how you want to, dont follow some guideline.

i might have gotten out of hand with this post, i dont want to get to philosophical here. i guess thats what this blog is for though. christian metalcore is really cool tho, check it out. you might be surprised how many popular metal bands from that era had ties to christianity. ill include some recommendations, or you can search it out yourself.

have a punk ass day,

-nikki

(yeah i decided to use my current name, fuck it)

some bands:

A Plea For Purging.

Shiver.

Heart of a Child.

The Fall.

Malevolence.

Underoath.

Norma Jean.

For Today.

Impending Doom.

Wolves At The Gate.

Phinehas.

Midst of Lions.

Demon Hunter.

killer fish.

#emo #early 2000s #90s #rant #tumblog #nu metal #metalcore #christcore #christianity #christian broadcasting network #christian metal #jesus freak #underoath #inhale exhale #demon hunter #rock #Spotify #Youtube

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whileiamdying · 1 year

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William Burroughs - the original Junkie

On the centenary of William Burroughs' birth, Will Self on why he was the perfect incarnation of late 20th‑century western angst – self-deluded and narcissistic yet perceptive about the sickness of the world.

📸 Like some terminally cadaverous butler’ … William Burroughs. Photograph: William Coupon/Corbis

ntitled Junkie: Confessions of an Unredeemed Drug Addict and authored pseudonymously by "William Lee" (Burroughs' mother's maiden name – he didn't look too far for a nom de plume), the Ace original retailed for 35 cents, and as a "Double Book" was bound back-to-back with Narcotic Agent by Maurice Helbrant. The two-books-in-one format was not uncommon in 1950s America, but besides the obvious similarity in subject matter, AA Wyn, Burroughs' publisher, felt that he had to balance such an unapologetic account of drug addiction with an abridgement of the memoirs of a Federal Bureau of Narcotics agent, which originally appeared in 1941.

Since, in the hysterical, anti-drug culture of postwar America, potential censure could easily induce self-censorship, it's remarkable that Junky (as it was published under his own name) found a publisher at all. Despite its subhead, Wyn did think the book had a redemptive capability, as the protagonist made efforts to free himself of his addiction, but he also insisted that Burroughs preface the work with an autobiographical sketch that would explain to the reader how it was that someone such as himself – a Harvard graduate from a Social Register family – came to be a drug addict. Both Junkie and Narcotic Agent have covers of beautiful garishness, featuring 1950s damsels in distress. On the cover of Junkie a craggy-browed man is grabbing a blond lovely from behind; one of his arms is around her neck, while the other grasps her hand, within which is a paper package. The table beside them has been knocked in the fray, propelling a spoon, a hypodermic, and even a gas ring, into inner space.

This cover illustration is, in fact, just that: an illustration of a scene described by Burroughs in the book. "When my wife saw I was getting the habit again, she did something she had never done before. I was cooking up a shot two days after I'd connected with Old Ike. My wife grabbed the spoon and threw the junk on the floor. I slapped her twice across the face and she threw herself on the bed, sobbing … " That this uncredited and now forgotten hack artist should have chosen one of the few episodes featuring the protagonist's wife to use for the cover illustration represents one of those nastily serendipitous ironies that Burroughs himself almost always chose to view as evidence of the magical universe.

From double book to stand alone; from Ace Original to Penguin Modern Classic; from unredeemed confession to cult novel; from a cheap shocker to a refined taste – the history of this text in a strange way acts as an allegory of the way the heroin subculture Burroughs depicted has mutated, spread and engrafted itself with the corpus of the wider society, in the process irretrievably altering that on which it parasitises. Just as – if you turn to his glossary of junk lingo and jive talk – you will see how many arcane drug terms have metastasised into the vigorous language.

Burroughs wrote Junky on the very brink of a transformation in western culture. His junkies were creatures of the depression, many of whose addictions predated even the Harrison Act of 1922, which outlawed the sale of heroin and cocaine in the US. Burroughs viewed the postwar era as a Götterdämmerung and a convulsive re-evaluation of values. With his anomic inclinations and his Mandarin intellect, he was in a paradoxical position vis a vis the coming cultural revolution of the 1960s. An open homosexual and a drug addict, his quintessentially Midwestern libertarianism led him to eschew any command economy of ethics, while his personal inclinations meant he had to travel with distastefully socialist and liberal fellows. For Burroughs, the re-evaluation was both discount and markup, and perhaps it was this that made him such a great avatar of the emergent counterculture.

Janus-faced, and like some terminally cadaverous butler, Burroughs ushers in the new society of kicks for insight as well as kicks' sake. In the final paragraph of Junky he writes: "Kick is seeing things from a special angle. Kick is momentary freedom from the claims of the ageing, cautious, nagging, frightened flesh."

Let's return to that cover illustration with its portrayal of "William Lee" as Rock Hudson and his common-law wife, Joan Vollmer, as Kim Novak. When I say Burroughs himself must have regarded the illustration – if he thought of it at all – as evidence of the magical universe he conceived of as underpinning and interpenetrating our own, it is because the first draft of the book was completed in the months immediately preceding his killing of Vollmer on 6 September 1951 in Mexico City. Burroughs wrote in his 1985 foreword to Queer (which was completed in the year after Vollmer's death, but remained unpublished until 34 years later), "I am forced to the appalling conclusion that I would never have become a writer but for Joan's death, and to a realisation of the extent to which this event has motivated and formulated my writing."

Much has been written and even more conjectured about the killing. Burroughs himself described it as "the accidental shooting death"; and although he jumped bail, he was only convicted – in absentia by the Mexican court – of homicide. However, to my mind this rings false with the way he characterised his life, and his writing, thereafter: "I live with the constant threat of possession and the constant need to escape from possession, from Control." Burroughs saw the agent of possession implicated in the killing as external to him, "a definite entity". He went further, hypothesising that such an entity might devise the modern, psychological conception of possession as a function of the subject's own psyche: "since nothing is more dangerous to a possessor than being seen as a separate invading creature by the host it has invaded".

Personally, I think Burroughs' definition of "possession" was tantamount to an admission of intent. Certainly, the hypothesis of murderous impulsiveness squares better with the impromptu "William Tell act" (whereby he called upon Vollmer to place a glass upon her head, which he would then shoot off) than his own bewilderment in the face of an act of such cruel stupidity and fatal rashness. (He knew the gun to shoot low, and what would have happened to the glass shards even if he had succeeded? There were others in the room.)

I belabour these events for two reasons. First, because I think an understanding of the milieu within which Burroughs and Vollmer operated, and the nature of their life together, is essential in disentangling the post hoc mythologising of the writer and his life from the very grim reality of active drug addiction that constitutes the action of Junky. When Burroughs was off heroin he was a bad, blackout drunk (for evidence you need look no further than his own confirmation in Junky). However much he cared for Vollmer, their life together was clearly at an impasse (their sexuality was incompatible and she was even beginning to object to his drug use); and what could be more natural – if only momentarily – than to conceive of ridding himself of an obvious blockage?

📸 The original cover of Junkie by William Lee

Second, although the bulk of Junky was in place before the killing, Burroughs continued to revise the text at least as late as July 1952, including current events such as the arrival from New York of his old heroin-dealing partner Bill Garver (whose name is changed to "Bill Gains" in the text). The meat of the text of Junky is as close as Burroughs could get to a factual account of his own experience of heroin. In a letter to Allen Ginsberg (who had worried that the book constituted a justification of Burroughs' addiction), he inveighed: "As a matter of fact the book is the only accurate account I ever read of the real horror of junk. But I don't mean it as justification or deterrent or anything but an accurate account of what I experienced while I was on the junk. You might say it was a travel book more than anything else. It starts where I first make contact with junk, and it ends where no more contact is possible." All of which is by way of saying: Junky is not a novel at all, it is a memoir; "William Lee" and William Burroughs are one and the same person. Burroughs' own conception of himself was essentially fictional, and it's not superfluous to observe that before he began to write with any fixity he had already become a character in other writers' works, most notably in Jack Kerouac's On the Road. He also signed his letters to Ginsberg, Kerouac et al with his nom de plume, as well as using his correspondence as a form of work in progress, peppering his epistles to the Beats with his trademark riffs and routines. By the time Burroughs was living in Tangier in the late 1950s, his sense of being little more than a cipher, or a fictional construct, had become so plangent that he practised the art of insubstantiality with true zeal, revelling in the moniker "El Hombre Invisible".

Burroughs was the perfect incarnation of late 20th-century western angst precisely because he was an addict. Self-deluding, vain, narcissistic, self-obsessed, and yet curiously perceptive about the sickness of the world if not his own malaise, Burroughs both offered up and was compelled to provide his psyche as a form of Petri dish, within which were cultured the obsessive and compulsive viruses of modernity.

Burroughs never managed to recover from his addiction at all, and died in 1997 physically dependent on the synthetic opiate methadone. I find this a delicious irony: the great hero of freedom from social restraint, himself in bondage to a drug originally synthesised by Nazi chemists, and dubbed "Dolophine" in honour of the Fuhrer; the fearless libertarian expiring in the arms of an ersatz Morpheus, actively promoted by the federal government as a "cure" for heroin addiction. In the prologue to Junky and the introduction to The Naked Lunch, Burroughs writes of his own addiction as if it were a thing of the past, but this was never the case. In a thin-as-a-rake's progress that saw him move from America to Mexico, to Morocco, to France, to Britain, back to New York, and eventually to small-town Kansas, Burroughs was in flight either from the consequences of his chemical dependency, or seeking to avoid the drugs he craved.

As for the text itself, it reads today as fresh and unvarnished as it ever has. Burroughs' deadpan reportage owes as much to the hard-boiled style of the detective thriller writer Dashiell Hammett as it does to his more elevated philosophical inclinations. In eschewing rhetorical flourish or adjectival excess, Burroughs sought to remain silent about what could not be said, just like the drug subculture he was so enchanted by: "She shoved the package of weed at me. 'Take this and get out,' she said. 'You're both mother fuckers.' She was half asleep. Her voice was matter-of-fact as if referring to actual incest."

What it isn't is any kind of true analysis of the nature of addiction itself. Burroughs' own view – that "you become a narcotics addict because you do not have strong motivations in any other direction. Junk wins by default" – is a deceptively thin, Pandora's portfolio of an idea that raises the question: for what kind of person could drug addiction represent a "strong motivation"? Surely only one for whom alienation, and a lack of either moral or spiritual direction, was inbuilt.

Indeed, this is the great sadness of Junky (and Burroughs himself) as I conceive it. You can reread this entire text, assuming the hypothesis of addiction as a latent pathology, present in the individual prior to his having any direct experience of chemical dependency, and everything that Burroughs says about habitual heroin use begins to make perfect sense. But taking him at his own, self-justifying estimation (predicated on a renunciation of drugs that never came), Burroughs' Junky becomes the very archetype of the romanticisation of excess that has so typified our era: "I loosened the tie, and the dropper emptied into my vein. Coke hit my head, a pleasant dizziness and tension, while the morphine spread through my body in relaxing waves. 'Was that alright?' asked Ike, smiling. 'If God made anything better, he kept it for himself,' I said."

It is Burroughs' own denial of the nature of his addiction that makes this book capable of being read as a fiendish parable of modern alienation. For, in describing addiction as "a way of life", Burroughs makes of the hypodermic a microscope, through which he can examine the soul of man under late 20th-century capitalism. His descriptions of the "junk territories" his alter ego inhabits are, in fact, depictions of urban alienation itself. And just as in these areas junk is "a ghost in daylight on a crowded street", so his junkie characters - who are invariably described as "invisible", "dematerialized" and "boneless" - are, like the pseudonymous "William Lee" himself, the sentient residue left behind when the soul has been cooked up and injected into space.

#william s. burroughs #junkie

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army-of-mai-lovers · 4 years

Text

Why Amon Should Have Been An Android

(spoilers for LoK and Young Justice season 1)

If you followed my LoK liveblog at all you may have noticed that I theorized at one point or another that all four major villains of LoK (Amon, Unalaq, Zaheer, and Kuvira) were secretly robots/androids (the term I used was robot, but the more accurate term would have been android.) Now, with Unalaq it was definitely just because I found him boring, with Zaheer it was to make fun of the fact that he was an Airbending prodigy with zero training, and with Kuvira it was because it was a thing at that point for me to predict that an LoK villain was a robot (and I was kind of right that time!!)

But with Amon? I was completely serious. We never see his face, his cause is stupid (and the perfect way for his programmers to start some trouble in Republic City), and he was able to resist bloodbending, which, if you’ll recall, requires that the victim have blood for it to work. You know who doesn’t have blood? That’s right, androids/robots.

But there’s another reason that I sincerely thought Amon was going to be a robot (android), and it’s the reason I’m writing this. There was something naggingly familiar about LoK to me, and no, it wasn’t that it was a sequel series to ATLA. To me, LoK doesn’t really feel a lot like ATLA (barring, of course, the very poorly shoehorned in fanservice cameos of Iroh, three times, like he’s a recurring character or something.) I struggled to pinpoint exactly what it was, but in my own observations and the observations of other people that I was talking to while liveblogging, a couple key differences became clear:

[ID: an image of Korra from the back looking out towards Republic City, which is shown to have large white skyscrapers, a bay, and numerous smaller buildings. Much of it is obscured by fog and clouds. The city is built in the middle of a sprawling bay. /End ID]

1. the setting of LoK is incredibly Americanized and Eurocentric. While ATLA displays a lot of cultural insensitivity towards the cultures it borrows from in choosing how to depict them, LoK...doesn’t really depict other cultures. Republic City to me felt very similar to how 1920s New York is typically depicted in media, and no setting in the Earth Kingdom or Water Tribe was explored enough to really explore the unique cultures of those settings. While you can tell in ATLA that bryke was somewhat interested in (a vague, exoticized, unrealistic vision of) East Asian culture, LoK is very clearly inspired by America and Europe, with very little else influencing how the setting was depicted.

2. there are no “unimportant” people in LoK. Everybody is related to somebody we know from ATLA (or somebody from ATLA), a powerful business mogul, military, somebody high up in the government, a celebrity, and/or the Avatar. The only character I can really think of that’s an exception to this is Kai, who really does not have much of a role. (I guess you could argue that Mako is an exception but y’know...he was a famous pro-bender for a while there) You don’t just get to meet a regular person living in a village anymore. Every character in LoK has political, social, or cultural power.

These points, put together with the technological prowess of the world of LoK (which is different season to season and sometimes even episode to episode depending on how the writers are feeling that day), made the show feel very distant from ATLA, but very, very close to another show that I have watched and loved. And that show is Young Justice.

[ID: an image, from left to right, of Batgirl, Blue Beetle, Bumblebee, Beast Boy, Miss Martian, Nightwing, Superboy, Wondergirl, Robin, and Red Arrow in the foreground, posing together. Above them and in the background are the adult heroes, obscured in shadow. From left to right, Red Tornado, Aquaman, Martian Manhunter, Batman, Superman, the Flash, Green Arrow, and Wonder Woman. They are all against a gradient blue background. /End ID]

For those not in the know, Young Justice is a DC animated cartoon focusing on the teen sidekicks, proteges, and relatives of superheroes like Batman, Superman the Flash, Green Arrow, Aquaman, Martian Manhunter, and others banding together to form their own superhero team. YJ is set in America, vaguely, with characters residing in cities with names like Gotham City, Star City, and Central City (a naming convention that Republic City fits right into). And as is apparent from the premise, most of the characters you’ll meet in YJ are superheroes, related to superheroes, or otherwise important business moguls, celebrities, or political figures. And while the world of YJ is of course significantly more technologically advanced than that of LoK, there’s more overlap than you’d think. Besides spaceships, teleportation, smartphones, and genetic engineering, there’s really not a lot of tech that YJ seasons 1 and 2 have that LoK doesn’t.

So you may be thinking, “ok Arthur, we get it, you’re a fucking nerd, what does this have to do with robots?” I’m glad you asked! One of the storylines of YJ focuses on the war between rival tech moguls Tio Morro and Professor Ivo, in which they build increasingly sophisticated androids. Ivo’s are pretty much just designed to kill supers, but Morro’s are expressly designed to mirror the human psyche, and desire to be a part of human society. Amon very clearly also desires a community, and does much of what he does to integrate himself into a community of nonbenders where he really doesn’t belong. Further, Morro’s androids are immune to threats that humans are not immune to because they are not made up of organic matter. For example, in season 1, episode 3, Miss Martian attempts to read Red Tornado’s mind, to no avail, because she can only read the minds of organic beings. In a similar vein, Amon was able to resist bloodbending, and while unfortunately that was not because he was an android, it would have made sense given the conventions of the cartoon android genre. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my previous YJ knowledge very much influenced the way I read that scene. The way Amon’s body was animated very much mirrored the animation of Morro’s androids trying to resist their evil creator’s programming.

So, I’ve taken you through the what, the how, but I promised that I’d say why Amon being an android would have been better, and I plan to deliver. First, it needs be remarked that while Amon being an android wouldn’t have made much sense, it would have only made slightly less sense than the canon explanation of Amon being Tarrlok’s secret brother. In fact, I’d argue that, if handled correctly, Amon being an android could make more sense and be more impactful. Here’s how I envision it: android! Amon would be pretty similar to Red Tornado, in that he would know that he was an android and be programmed to help people. He was of course, built by Hiroshi Sato (that man designed and likely built all the Equalists’ weapons he has the range), who sees himself as a sort of father to Amon. Hiroshi tells Amon about the systemic disenfranchisement of nonbenders and how a Firebender killed his wife, and Amon, being programmed to want to help people and to desire participation in human society, decides he wants to lead a revolution against benders. However, an android can’t very well openly lead a revolution (you could add a bit in the backstory episodes about how humans don’t trust androids or something), so Hiroshi and Amon come up with the story that Firebenders burned his face and hands, which is what prompted him to lead the revolution. Thus, his whole body, including his face, is covered, and his followers assume that it’s because the burns are so bad, and they follow him. In the latter half of the season, the krew would uncover Hiroshi’s involvement with the Equalists, but Asami would be the one to realize that Amon is an android that Hiroshi built. Amon being Hiroshi’s “son” of sorts would be another element of Asami coming to terms with the evils of her family, as Amon in this case would be a machine programmed to be easily manipulated to follow Hiroshi’s cause and would consider himself her brother, and she would have to reckon what to do with both of them. The nonbenders’ cause would still be legitimate after Amon was exposed as an android (unlike it is when the literal figurehead of their movement is also antithetical to their movement) and the heroes would have to reckon with the realities of bender supremacy and the hurt it caused. Amon could even get a redemption arc and work with world leaders to make a better society for nonbenders and androids like himself (I’m sure there’s some parallel you can draw between nonbender oppression and android oppression, though I can’t think of one atm) As an added bonus, Amon wouldn’t be able to bend, so he couldn’t bloodbend Korra, which would be one less time that an LoK villain took away Korra’s bodily autonomy. Amon could even be a recurring character in the later books, because really, wouldn’t LoK have been more fun with a newly-redeemed android sidekick still learning about what the world is outside of his creator’s narrow worldview? Plus, that would give Asami more to do in books 2 and 3 than meet Varrick and participate in love triangle drama (Amon is of course replacing Varrick’s presence on the show), and getting to know and bond with Amon could be the catalyst for her visiting her father in prison in book 4.

Remember, I didn’t claim that this would be good, I claimed that it would be better, and since the bar was on the ground with that secret brothers twist that wasn’t too hard to accomplish. tl;dr bryke are cowards, take the plunge and make him an android.

#still don't understand why bryke cut pro bending after b1 #it was genuinely brilliant #i know amon's not a bender but i would want him to be involved in a pro bending storyline post book 1 somehow #longpost #meta #ehhhhh is this a meta tho?#genuinely kind of a stupid meta but once my brain made the republic city star city central city gotham city connection this genuinely #would not leave my brain until i made it #amon #lok #idk honestly i feel like what i wrote is actually more thematically appropriate for an atla sequel series #like found family and redemption and that junk #plus asami could potentially get an arc #if i were writing it she'd get an arc #well generally if i were writing the show asami would get an arc but also specifically with this android thing #tbh if you ask me how much of this is a joke i couldn't even tell you #it is a thing that exists and you can interpret it as a high effort joke or as sincere #it's 2020 cringe is dead

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ramblinseahorsey · 4 years

Text

There’s so many people out there trying to give Greg’s parents the benefit of the doubt, saying they meant the best for him, or that Greg just didn’t do a good enough job explaining to them he was unhappy. That Greg and Steven just need to talk to them, to reach out to them, and hope is a great thing.

But I knew the second I saw this shot that they didn’t love him. They didn’t answer his letters. Never. Didn’t even read them. Don’t try and tell me Greg didn’t try. Don’t tell me he didn’t reach out.

Greg didn’t just say they just discouraged music or pushed him to do sports, this isn’t a Barbara kind of miscommunication. He clearly said they forced him to do sports and music was off limits. He tried. From the looks of it, he tried many years after he left too.

Don’t try and tell me that parents that saw their kid constantly frowning or looking like they were gonna cry in their photos and did nothing about it loved their kid.

The only picture we see Greg look happy in was his school photo. Not the one they liked enough to frame. It is possible there are happy pictures around here with him and his parents we just didn’t see, but I wouldn’t place any bets on it.

The only mistake Greg made in Mr. Universe was not being more tactful with how he explained all of this to Steven.

Greg never specified the lack of love, and therefore Steven just didn’t get it. He saw all these pictures and trophies and baby items and thought, that’s love, right? He doesn’t understand or know about the parents who obsess over nick knacks, doesn’t get that these weren’t treasured memories to them, they were collectibles. Anybody who’d still keep the letters, but not open them, was clearly after the status of being parents, not the actual time with their kid. They kept in view things from a time he was obedient. But all Steven sees is the image of a pretty, normal family house, the image Greg’s parents were more obsessed with maintaining than communications with their actual kid.

They wanted him in their life at first, sure, but only back when they still thought there was hope that he’s end up just like them. Back when he would still go to the island, back when he couldn’t fight his hair getting cut, back when they thought he could be the cookie cutter clone of them that looked neat in family photos and would prevent them from having to explain to people what he did for a living or why he wasn’t going on vacation for them, yet again, using him as a part of their image, not their son.

Greg wouldn’t have called all of that junk, when he’s been shown to love collecting and having random junk, failed to emotionally connect or get nostalgic about a single item there, if there had been any love or bonding attached to any of them.

Greg is a loving, loving, forgiving man. If there had been any good memories in that house,

he wouldn’t have constantly looked miserable in it except when he was talking about when he escaped it.

Greg, unknowingly, and only trying to help, bless his heart, made a huge mistake with a single sentence.

“Trust me, your better off than I was!” OUch.

He pushed Steven away the second he made a comparison between their lives. You just can’t play the comparison game with people who were traumatized.

Was he right that Steven got to grow up with love Greg didn’t? Well, yes, but Steven doesn’t realize that. All he hears is the man who grew up in a nice, warm, not corrupted gem attacked house, with a nice, normal, not training just in case someone was on their way to murder you education, in a calm, relaxed, not born a war criminal childhood. And complaining about it!

Of course he got mad!! Even if Greg had specified he wasn’t loved, how could he dare use the word better to describe Steven’s life? Greg meant nothing bad by it, but as far as Steven was concerned, Greg was telling him he had a wonderful childhood, a wonderful future ahead of him, “just like mom” did.

Greg couldn’t have just brought up a half alien baby wanted dead in a normal community, training with the gems, unstable parents or not, was necessary for his survival. But in the heat of the moment, Steven doesn’t think of that, the way he talks in this scene, he really thinks he could’ve had that, that a normal childhood could’ve “fixed” him, and that his dad’s choice was the only thing that stopped him from having that.

And between that and the crash, that was the trigger needed for Steven to push his dad away. The guilt for yet another person he thinks he’s a danger to, and the huge feelings of jealousy he was too ashamed yet still too angry to voice over his dad getting to grow up human. Steven saw his yearbook pictures and nearly got choked up saying the words “more human” pausing with a frown he quickly gets rid of, yearning to be the human in Greg’s pictures.

So many out here are trying to take sides, either saying Greg was wrong and Steven was right, or Greg was right and Steven was wrong, but in the end both are true. Both had the right to be unhappy with what they were given, and both should have done a better job trying to understand and listen to the others plight.

While Greg should have worded things much, much more tactfully, and definitely, even if accidentally, hurt his kid with his words, he meant no more harm than any of the other people who’ve tried to cheer him up, and was right about all he said.

Yet you can’t get mad at Steven either, because as far as he’s concerned, all he learned today is that his dad had it so much easier, less terrifying, and found an identity in a way that Steven couldn’t relate to, couldn’t use.

That his dad can’t help him anymore.

Edit: I’m not saying redemption is impossible for his parents,(Steven Universe is all about second chances), I’m saying that I can’t see it happening. If you wanna be technical about it, anyone can be redeemed. But that’s the point isn’t it? Anyone can change, but they have to want to. The only person I could see being less likely to want to change is Marty.

While possibilities are endless, the people who can not love their own child while raising them don’t tend to be the kinds of people to have a turnaround. Not saying it hasn’t happened before, just that it’s so very, very rare.

These two made it very clear they didn’t want to, that they don’t want to. It would be different If the letters were opened. For a redemption/family reunion to work with these two, they’d have to make the first step. Perhaps they’d get wind of Steven’s existence, and in a change of heart that came in old age, they’d get motivated to try getting back in touch even though they thought at this point it was too late. Perhaps we’d get a shot of opened letters falling down not neat and tidy on the dresser.

For it to work for me, Greg would have to receive a letter.

But i’m not holding my breath.

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misspearly1 · 3 years

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Be My Redemption

Chapter x- Part 3 (final)

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

WC: 3090

Warnings: Violence, Slight Violence Reader (nothing bad), Swearing, Mature themes. 18+ readers please. NO MINORS 🔞 18+ Content.

Notes: This is the final part to Chapter 10. Phew! This was a long one indeed. Enjoy peeps 😘

————————————Y/N——————————-

Looking up at the billboarded signs as you walk through the North wing of the Airport with Johnny, you’ve just passed terminal 36-G and you need to get to 40-K, located in the East wing. Turning to your ‘capture’ you jibe to him, pulling on the loose ropes that's wrapped around your wrists “was this really necessary?”

Striding along, cockily, he turns and smiles “well, we gotta make it look the part.” You tsk before rolling your eyes “Uh-huh. Whatever.”

Passing gate 37-H now, he asks “you could at least act captured, maybe put on a show for Marcus.” Replying quickly to him “yeah, and I bet you’d like that, huh asshole.”

He laughs at you and tells you to relax but you can do everything but that. Marcus is the leader of his group; he’s most likely going to be there and Johnny is going to explain to him that he’s ‘snagged’ a stray just outside the gates at the tower. This makes you tense and nervous, you hope he buys it and you hope you find Sol and Jackie there too.

Gate 38-F is coming up now, you look to your surroundings and take note. There’s suitcases and bags strewn all over the place, litter and junk as well as a KFC and McDonalds restaurant. You think about the old days and how you would hate the airport and travelling, flying in the air would make you queasy and terrified. Looking at this place now though, deserted and dirty, it feels weird to walk along seeing it this way, without bustling people and families going away on their vacations.

It’s safe to say you don’t miss flying, there’s many other things you miss too. Like driving your little red Toyota Prius to work each day, or stopping at Costa on the way to grab a latte and a bagel before you started your shift. You miss your family, your parents and your former friends. Your mom and dad were back home at Texas during the outbreak, not knowing what happened to them is heart-breaking.

-Boarding gate 39-J here-

You stopped yourself divulging deeper into missing things and people from before and instead, focused on the plan to save your friends in this world. “You ready?” Johnny asked you. Only nodding your head to him as you kept walking towards terminal 40. You both came up to a set of barricaded doors, he tapped on it three times and it cracked open. A voice echoed through. “What you doing here? Your shift doesn't end till tomorrow.”

Johnny puffed his chest out, acting tough “I got a stray for Marcus, found her outside the gate on my end.”

The voice spoke again, “Huh? Another woman?” the door opened wider now and a rather large fat man peeped out, he had short red hair and wore a trench coat. You displayed yourself as shy and scared, looking at the floor, he looked you up and down showing no expression “Alright, come on through.” - is he a bouncer or something? What the fuck is this.

When you stepped inside you had to hide your concern. This was a big, spacious room with lots of men huddled in there into their own groups, chattering and eating, maybe 15 or 20 altogether - This is got to be where they all commune, keep your cool Y/N.

You followed Johnny and kept your head down, when he stopped, you did too. “Who do we have here, good job Johnny boy.” Lifting your head up to see the face that’s talking, you almost break character to laugh. He was a short white man, with a receding hair line, he was thin and weak looking. You could hardly believe this man is the leader, he dressed too smart.

Carefully keeping your eyes on his, you noticed over his shoulder there was a large, makeshift holding cell and in that cell was Jackie and Solomon. They locked eyes with you immediately but you didn’t want to chance being caught recognising the, so you kept looking at Marcus instead. He asked, “what’s your name?”

Keeping your tone low, “Y/N”

He grinned at you “I’m Marcus. Play nice, co-operate and we won't have any problems, ok?” you only nodded at him and he so he continued.

“Where you from?”

“Texas”

“Oh, we got us a Texas gal. What were you doing snooping around outside my walls?”

“Looking for shelter and water, maybe some food.”

“A girl, out there, all on her lonesome, huh?”

Nodding to him again, there was a tense silence between you two, even the other men in the room had quietened, to listen in on the conversation. You know he isn't convinced; he stands and inches his face to your own, searching your eyes and face. “You lying to me?” without breaking the stare down, and keeping very still, you replied calmly “No, sir.”

He smirked after hearing you say ‘sir’ and turned swiftly, gesturing with his hands “These are my men, you can join us but you gotta be initiated, first.”

You gulped and cocked your head towards him, to continue. “To be initiated, you have to bring something to the table, amaze me and you’re good to go. Bore me... then, well you know.” he looked down your body when finishing off his sentence and you felt sick at what he was insinuating. Over his shoulder, you could see Jackie place a hand over her mouth, she felt the same way too.

You pushed back your thoughts and feelings, “Like what?” He unsheathed his knife and stepped closer to you, but you didn’t back down. He ran the tip of the blade across your cheek, before pulling it away and whispering into your ear “Kill the man standing behind you.”

You know that Johnny is the one behind you, Marcus placed the knife in your hands and waited. Looking down at the blade, you stood in thought – he’s asking me to kill Johnny. What kind of fucked up initiation is this? I can't kill an innocent man. I’ve done it before, shit nearly broke me. Shit, what should I do? If I don’t kill him, they’re going to kill me, or worse-

Marcus’ ticking his tongue snaps you out of it, holding the blade firmly and without turning your head, you use your peripheral vision to get sight on Johnny.

Just as your about to turn an explosion erupts, making the ground shake and Marcus falls back into his seat, with wide eyes. He stands, ordering all the men to move and locate the source, then turns his attention to you and snatches the blade out of your hands. He grabs the back of your neck, and slams your head down, over a table. Holding the knife to your face, he asks “what was that?”

You go into a frenzy and make a point to act scared “I...I..Dont..Kn..know. Please, please, please don’t hurt me. I don’t know what it is.” there’s around five people left in the room, Marcus, Johnny and three other men. He pulls you to stand upright and you look to them, to see what weapons they have of their own, calculating the risks. One of them has a gun in hand, the other two you’re unsure of, they could he holstered.

He looks into your terrified eyes for a moment before speaking “Samuel, toss her in the fucking pit, and watch her!”. Letting go of your arm, he shoved past Johnny and exited the room. A large man came up from behind you, “Move it, bitch!”.

As he was ushering you forwards towards the cell where your friends are, you hold your hand in a fist, discreetly telling them to wait. Sol’s eyes were trained on the other men behind you.

When the man stops before the cell to unlock it, you look to Sol and dart your eyes to the man beside you, telling him to tackle. He nods curtly, and when the gate opens, Sol dives. You whip around, grabbing your small handgun aiming towards the men, Johnny already has his weapon out and shot the one who had his out. You shot one guy, then Johnny shot the last. It all happened so quick, but it worked.

Turning your attention to Sol now, who managed to straddle this man's back and keep him in place, you knelt down on one knee and aimed your gun at his head “Die, bitch.” then, you shot him.

Sol stood, with a shocked expression, before pulling you in for a hug, “Jesus, Y/N.” He moved back, looked at the dead body then back to you, raising his eyebrows “You okay, buddy?”

Shrugging your shoulders, your lips trembled, and your voice broke “Yeah.”

“Y/N!” Jackie called, rushing towards you and almost knocking you over in the hug. “Hey Jackie, I’ve missed you all so much.”

“Guy’s, we don’t have time for this, let’s go.” Johnny called out to you three. Breaking the hug, Jackie and Sol looked to you for answers. “He’s right, this is Johnny, he’s helping us get out of here. Joel and Diego provided the distraction, let's go.”

You all moved without hesitation, following Johnny out of this hall and through the airport to the South side. Jackie stayed close by you, linking your arm and asking “Who’s Joel?” You smiled hearing his name, and she smiled too, wiggling her eyebrows. “I have so much to tell you Jackie, but not right now.”

————————————-Joel——————————-

“Excuse me?” Joel questioned Diego as he walked towards the exit.

Diego followed, keeping a serious tone “You heard me. I know who you are.”

Joel was getting angry, “What am I? A Hunter? Make yer point, and quickly.”

Diego spat out, “Si, Hunter and a murderer, I only say this now so I don’t hurt Y/N”

Joel turned quickly, getting in Diego’s face “Listen, old man. Y/N knows what I am and what I've done. What I've done to survive!” he stepped back and continued walking, and Diego followed, retorting “Killing Harry was surviving?”

Joel tutted as they walked across the tarmac, towards the refuelling tanker “Who the fuck is Harry.” Diego walked alongside him, continuing his argument. “You killed Harry back in New York, with your Hunter buddies. He was just trying to get out of the city, trying to get me and my friends out of the city, and you snapped his neck.”

Joel thought for a second as they reached the tanker, opening the door and hopping inside. He waited for Dee to enter before replying “What’s yer point?”

Diego slammed the dash with his hand as Joel placed the key in the ignition “Do you have no morale! That man was innocent, what would Y/N think.”

Joel turned the key, “She saw me kill him.”

Diego was shocked to hear that, “What? What do you mean?”

“She was hiding in a bus, but I clocked her. She saw me kill him then Y/N ran to meet you guys at the hospital. I killed the other three Hunters I was with before I followed her.”

Diego was speechless, he’s surprised at hearing Joel kill his fellow Hunters, overwhelmed with knowing that you’ve stayed with him, even after witnessing him kill Harry. He wonders why you would keep him around.

During the silence Joel remembered who Harry was, in the first letter that Jackie had left for you, she mentioned of another survivor in the city helping them get out, he helped Diego look for you before they got separated. Putting himself in Diego’s shoes, he tried to empathise.

“Listen, I aint gonna try and convince you that I’m a good guy, because I’m not. I stopped a guy from finding her in central park when you were out looking for her. I figured she’d get out of the city and I'd be done with it. But the next morning, I saw her again hiding in some bus and she was gonna run into them again, so I stopped that too”

Diego turned to Joel now, “Y/N’s been through enough, she’s been where you are and I don’t need you taking her back to that place. After we’re done with this, you walk away.”

Joel looks Diego up and down, shaking his head and expressing a cold look “That’s not your decision to make. It's up to Y/N.”

“Guess we’ll see what she has to say, wont we Hunter.”

Joel grits his teeth, “Yeah, s’pose we will.”

Joel turns his attention back to the road; he’s getting close to the main entrance of the airport and it's getting round to that time where he has to blow up the tanker. He thinks about you, about what he said you about him not being good company to keep, having this argument with Diego is ringing true to that.

He doesn’t like it, but he contemplates if you would be better off if he left, you’ve found your friends now. Even though things have changed, for you it changed the minute he jumped in front of the bomb, saving your life. For Joel, things changed the moment you entered New York city. He can lie to himself and say that he just gave you a helping hand to get out, but the moment he laid eyes on you and heard your voice singing Texas Fight Song, reminding him of Sarah. In that moment, you were his.

Joel slowed the vehicle down, “We gotta get out, there’s men up ahead and they’ll shoot on sight. You ready?”

Diego nodded his head and began exiting the vehicle. Joel lined up the tanker and got out himself, before placing a brick on the gas pedal. They both stood and watched as it sped along the runway, gaining speed and crashing into the main entrance. When it collided, Joel could feel the earth beneath his feet rumble, seconds later the blast erupted and a huge ball of fire blew up and outwards.

They could hear men screaming and even saw a couple running around on fire. Dee didn’t say anything, only dropping his head and started walking towards the docks, with Joel following suit.

—————————————Y/N——————————-

“C’mon boys, where are you.” You paced back and forth along the dock, worrying out loud. Jackie, Sol and Johnny were inside the boat, seated and waiting. Johnny started the engine and you whipped round, “fucking turn that off! We aint leaving without them.” He held his hands up in surrender, “Just getting her warmed up, ease up honey.” You scoffed at him and turned away.

Johnny turned to the other two in question “what did I do?.”

- Solomon, “Shut up”

- Jackie, “Shut up.”

Both of them cursed him, so he stayed quiet and didn’t try saying anything else.

You kept on looking, waiting for Joel and Dee. “Y/N, why don’t you come in here, someone might see you.” Jackie tried beckoning you over but you wafted a hand in the air to her.

*POP* *POP* *POP*

Multiple rounds of gunshots could be heard in the distance and without hesitation you ran up the steps of the dock. As you waited at the top to see what’s happening, you saw Jackie trying to come over too but you held a hand out in the air to stop her, and shook your head. She froze on the spot, waiting for you next order.

Her eyes widened when she saw you dart out running towards something, she could hear a man yelling “In the boat now, go, go, go” Then, when you came back to the stairs, she screamed, clutching her stomach at seeing a big, tall muscular man carrying Diego, blood on his shirt and unconscious.

Jackie rushed towards you three when you got to the bottom, “What’s happened, Y/N what’s happened to Dee?” You squeezed her arm and urged her to move “he’s been shot and we need to go. They know we’re here.”

Hopping in the boat now, Joel laid Diego down to let you tend to him while he untethered the ropes, ordering Johnny in the process “soon as she’s free, floor it.”

Johnny saluted Joel, “Aye, aye, captain.”

Joel didn’t have time to scold him, he quickly got to work. Soon as the ropes were loose, he nearly fell back when Johnny did in fact, floor it. He grabbed the guns from the rucksack and got Diego’s rifle, aiming down sight towards the remaining men alive, running to the edge of the docks. Joel warned “Stay low, they’re firing.”

Gun fire rung behind you, bullets whizzed past your head and empty shell casings fell to the floor beside your feet from Joel shooting the rifle. Zoning it all out as you had already ripped open Dee’s shirt to inspect his wound, a shotgun blast to the chest. You could tell from the damage it wasn’t up close - Thank fuck for that.

Grabbing alcohol from your back pack, you placed a bottle in Sol’s hand, he stuttered, not knowing what to do, so you took it back and placed it in Jackie’s instead, “On yer hands, thoroughly.” She slapped it on, as did you, then taking your bottle, you told Sol “Hold him, this is gonna hurt.”

He held onto Diego as you poured the alcohol over his wound, he winced and jerked, then you and Jackie wiped with a rag, cleaning it out the best you could. He’s really lucky it wasn't buckshot, otherwise you’d be picking pieces out for hours. Bunching up a couple gauze pads, you placed them down firmly over his wound, and then began taping it down. Jackie looked to you, confused “Is that it?”

Nodding your head, “It’s the best I can do for now.”

More gunfire flew passed your heads, a little too close this time as a few of them managed to hit the boat. You turned to Joel now and took the rifle from his hands, he watched in awe as you handled the weapon better than he could, firing then popping out the empty shell casing quickly before firing again, he saw two men drop in the distance. You lowered the aim and handed it back to him, “It’s bolt action. Diego taught me.”

Turning your attention back to Diego, you held his hand as you all flew across Bridgeport Harbour, leaving Marcus and his burning Airport behind...

Chapter 11 here

——————————————————————————

@marydjarin @kirsteng42

#joel miller x y/n #joel miller x reader #follow 👑 share ❤️ enjoy 🍑#enjoyreaders #pearlyfics

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danzinora-switch · 4 years

Text

Typing the Turtles (ROTTMNT) Part 3 - Leonardo

This started out as an investigation into the turtles’ insecurities, because one thing the show does so well is demonstrate that they are still teenagers. And being a teenager is a confusing experience - there’s angst, drama, exploring one’s identity, a lot of growth, and overall figuring out who you are. That’s a messy process, too! And we see this mess in our turtles: they mess up, they’re learning, they self-doubt, they have fears and insecurities, but they’re also discovering their strengths and how to overcome their inner obstacles.

So after thinking about all this way too long, here’s my psychological breakdown of each turtle (I’ll be referencing MBTI and the Enneagram a ton, but will include links for more general information on those if you don’t know what I’m talking about).

Parts One and Two found on the links for Raph and Don.

Leo: ESTP, 3w2

The Achiever, the Entrepreneur, the Charmer, the Explorer

I’ve wanted to say this for a long time: Leo is such a 3, he is such a 3 it hurts, oh my goodness. Read this: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-3 and tell me that isn’t Leo to a T.

It took me a little longer to figure out the MBTI for him, but he has a lot of similarities with the ESTP. This does mean we need to step away from the ‘frat bro’ stereotype of ESTPs, though. They are a lot more keen than convention would suggest.

Really, a big thing with Leo is his need to be The Best. What that means, to him, is normally something physically-related. He needs to be the best at sports or performing certain moves, which we see in episodes like The Longest Fight where he bets he can pull off the impossible skateboard move, or Shell in a Cell where he asserts he can out-perform Ghostbear. Additionally, episodes like Air Turtle really showcase the ugly side of his competitiveness. But he also desires physical perfection. He is rather image-conscious, fretting about his body in Stuck on You, and routinely referring to himself as the team’s Faceman. The biggest example of this was his idea for a disguise in Hidden City Job: the Turtle Adonis. An adonis is considered the peak physical ideal, handsome and attractive to boot. If this drive doesn’t scream Enneagram Three I don’t know what does.

Leo at his worst: Leo’s competitive side can certainly get the best of him. We see this in episodes like Air Turtle, where his ‘win at all costs’ attitude starts to alienate him from the group. Raph has also described him as a ‘poor winner’ which refers to his tendency to gloat when he does beat out the competition, or was proven right (Bug Busters, The Gumbus, You Got Served, LAIR GAMES). He’s smug, gloating, and when he does lose tries to wiggle out of it through technicalities. The one time he says something isn’t a competition is after Mikey beats him at Skateball (You Got Served). And when he ‘loses’ the Lair Games, Donnie’s win comes with a catch that Leo built in.

Threes do this for approval and validation, though, and we see that underlying his need to be the team’s Champion in Minotaur Maze and Portal Jacked! “I’m nothing without them!” he cries to Hueso. “What good is a team with just a Faceman?” Threes have a need to distinguish themselves from others, to be admired, to have attention, so that they then feel valuable and worthwhile. Other people, then, are necessary. When Leo wants to get on the Wall of Champions in Minotaur Maze, his brothers factor in to his unmet needs. “...because what good is being a Champion if you can’t rub it in your brothers’ faces?” Leo doesn’t just need to be The Best… he needs others to acknowledge it, as well.

Average Leo: He’s got a practical eye for situations and the quickness to adapt and act as needed. The ESTP is known for being bold as well as perceptive. We see this in fight scenes such as Battle Nexus: New York when he is quick to determine that physical comedy is the key to making the sprite laugh and immediately changing his approach.

He also displays a remarkable amount of common sense when making decisions. In Origami Tsunami, as the guys discuss becoming heroes, he’s the one who shoots down ideas until they reach a more achievable goal: taking on paper thieves. And he’s got a point, can you imagine the turtles taking on a spine-breaker or mangler at that point in time? When everyone else is blinded by ideals concerning fixing the Mutant Menace, he’s the only one who asks “anybody down for staying home during the anti-mutant panic?” Of course, he still goes along with their adventure, because ESTP’s live in The Moment, so why not?

Something else that I want to mention is Leo’s appreciation for the Machiavellian. He has an incredibly intuitive grasp on it, and actively appreciates twists, turns, betrayals and deceptions. His love for magic probably stems from this (The Clothes Don’t Make the Turtle) and he is the only one enjoying the series of betrayals in Warren & Hypno Sitting in a Tree. Hidden City Job also expands on the fact that Leo doesn’t have a problem with betrayal, as he revels about brotherly betrayal happening all the time. He’s cool with being betrayed… just know that he can betray you back. It’s all fair game.

This can have upsides and downsides. On the upside, his understanding of trickery can lead to brilliant plans and solutions such as what we saw in Many Unhappy Returns, where he was able to outsmart Big Mama herself. On the downside, this kind of behavior is not always the best move - his family does not appreciate being left out of the loop of his schemes, or actively being manipulated as part of them (Leo’s plan in Many Unhappy Returns worked, but he still left his brothers alone and exhausted, and did not consider the emotional effect it would have on Splinter being sent back into the arena). At that point it’s no wonder he asks “why does no one trust me?” Because you tend to have an angle, ‘Nardo. Be careful how you use that.

He is also incredibly persuasive. This is partly why I feel he is a 3 wing 2, ‘The Charmer’ because he knows how to communicate to get what he wants. When used for the right reasons, we see him settle discord such as cooling the mobs in You Got Served or apologize when he knows an apology is needed (Todd Scouts, Air Turtle, Hidden City Job). We see it used neutrally (and a bit skeptically) in Many Unhappy Returns when he declares he’ll just go to see Big Mama and “turn up the Leo”. It can also be used deceptively, however. Todd Scouts shows this when Leo is the one who convinces Todd that they’re ready to kick things up a notch by going out alone… when really they just want to get away from him. He’ll also use words to get under people’s skins: dismissing Warren Stone in Stuck on You, but also pointing out Donnie’s beach ball fear in Mind Meld. He knows which words will get the responses he wants, for better or for worse.

Leo at his Best: Leo is the team’s motivator. He’s the one giving the others the pep-talks and encouragement they need to continue (Origami Tsunami, Finale: Rise). Donnie said it best after Leo’s redemption in Air Turtle: “your confidence is giving me confidence!”

Because that’s the healthy thing about Threes: they strive to reach their own full potential, which also inspires others to reach theirs. Leo doesn’t like to fail/lose, but he won’t let anyone else succumb, either. He has the most confidence in each Mad Dog’s ability. “I knew you guys could handle it!” he says in Many Unhappy Returns, and points out with amazing accuracy just what his brothers are capable of. He not only believes in himself, he believes in those around him. And he’s able to inspire them when they’re feeling down about their own abilities or not enthused about the task (see his speech about standing up for the paper men in Origami Tsunami).

This also includes encouragement and compliments in other areas. Regarding the Shell Hogs: “Donnie, these are amazing! And I know everything I say sounds sarcastic, but I’m being completely genuine this time” (Stuck on You). When Mikey isn’t sure Hypno will like him: “What? Of course he will, you’re adorable!” (Newsworthy). To Raph, “Does this place have smoke detectors? Because you’re on fire, Big Daddy!” (The Clothes Don’t Make the Turtle).

He’s also able to step in and take charge when Raph falls because he can see what action needs to be taken (that practical and observant, yet bold ESTP side coming in). When Raph gets separated in the sewers, Leo’s the one who doesn’t treat it casually and gets the others moving to find him (Man vs Sewer). When his older brother is hypnotized by Hypno in Stuck on You, he quickly reacts and tells Mikey and Donnie what the plan is and enacts it. We see this leader potential grow bit by bit, and his awareness of each individual’s role on the team allows him to step back from areas that he knows aren’t his forte: Raph can handle the ‘teamwork’ stuff, Donnie has got the technical know-how, and Mikey takes care of positive outlook for any situation. Leo can keep things fun and inspire confidence. His puns help lighten the mood, his jokes break the ice of tense situations, and he never stops believing in their own abilities, which keeps them all going (Donnie’s Gifts, Many Unhappy Returns).

Leo Relationships:

(While Leo has a competitive episode with each of his brothers: Shell in a Cell, Lair Games, and You Got Served, there is more going on than just that).

Raph: Both Leo and Raph have strong gut feelings that can be blindsided. Leo picks up immediately that Big Mama is not trustworthy while Raph is more than happy to believe her, but Leo is blinded by his fan-love for Jupiter Jim to realize that Marcus Montcrief is a crazy and suspicious adult, which Raph becomes aware of early on (Bug Busters, Jupiter Jim Ahoy!). They both can be a little too head-first when diving into plans, such as checking out the creepy bus in One Man’s Junk or doing their best to help April in Hypno: Part Deux. But they do trust each other to have each other’s backs, and there’s (thankfully!) no Leo vs Angst in this version of their characters. It really allows them to be comfortable with each other (and egg each other on with more than just missions: see the pizza pigeon in Mind Meld).

Donnie: In some ways Leo acts like a foil for Donnie. His own natural confidence counterbalances a lot of his twin’s insecurities. They butt heads over it, sure, with Donnie perhaps taking things too seriously and Leo seemingly not taking them seriously enough, but I like I said in Donnie’s typing: one’s chill and one’s uptight. There’s a ton of back and forth between them: they are the epitome of siblings fighting one minute and getting up to no good together the next (Example from The Mystic Library: Leo grooves out with Donnie’s rap one moment and tries to get him kicked off the team in the next scene). They may antagonize each other in Lair Games, Smart Lair, the beginning of Snow Day and Hidden City Job, and so much more, but also demonstrate brotherly love (and antics) in Operation: Normal, the end of Hidden City Job and Smart Lair, and, of course, Battle Nexus: New York. “For Donnie’s honor!”

Mikey: Leo sticks up for Mikey a fair amount, especially to Raph. He supports Mikey trying to open the portal in Mystic Mayhem, and going out on his first solo mission in Hot Soup: The Game. We actually need more Leo and Mikey episodes; of the two we have one is a competition episode (You Got Served), and The Gumbus has Leo tag along intent on proving Mikey wrong. It seems they like to hang out during the down time a lot, as they play in the arcade and skateboard off-screen in episodes such as Mrs. Cuddles, You Got Served, Mind Games, and Sparring Partner. And of course, we have the gripping image of Leo protecting Mikey’s shell with his own in Battle Nexus: New York. I’d really like to see them get up to more shenanigans, though. (hint, hint @nickelodeon, @netflix).

Ultimately, Leo is a confident, competitive turtle striving to reach his full potential. He is normally great at encouraging his brothers to do the same, and devising grand strategies, but tends to forget the emotional effects his actions can have on them, especially if he gets carried away on his quest to be The Best. He’s still learning, and these traits will likely flesh out as he grows into a more leader-like role.

For more information on the ESTP and Enneagram 3 personality types, click here:

https://www.16personalities.com/estp-personality

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-3

https://www.crystalknows.com/enneagram/type-3-wing-2

https://ih0.redbubble.net/image.155775924.2701/flat,800x800,070,f.u5.jpg

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raven-m-3 · 4 years

Note

Hey, I'm another big Reylo fan who was greatly invested and then felt bitter and betrayed by ROS. But I'm curious, why were those feelings so strong for you? This isn't meant to be rude, I'm asking because definitely over half of the predictions from your redemption meta came true AND REYLO IS CANON. Personally I felt that he got a satisfying redemption, or at least, it was clearly intended to be so. (But his death and how they edited the ending was very irredeemable.)

Hi nonny: no worries. I do understand the curiosity, truly. Personally, Ben Solo’s death was more than enough to ruin TROS for me, but it wasn’t just about that-- it wasn’t just about Reylo. I’ve loved SW since I was very little, and what they did to the arc of every character gutted me. There were so many things.

- Retconning Rey Nobody, which was one of the most beautiful things that RJ did in TLJ. Think that the Force can call to anyone, no matter how lowly or obscure? PSYKE. We’re back to the same old fight between demigods from noble bloodlines (Palpatines vs. Skywalkers).

- Speaking of... giving Rey an embarrassingly sloppy backstory as Palpatine’s clone’s daughter (?) whose parents were somehow heroic martyrs yet filthy junk traders who sold her for drinking money. There isn’t enough wine in the world to make it make sense.

- Rey going from calmly taking the legacy saber that repeatedly called to her to hand-wringing about being worthy of it. Because we don’t do that enough to ourselves as women.

- Having Rey end up where she started: a child playing in a sandbox. Regressing her arc. Taking away from her the thing she wanted the most-- a family with Ben-- her soulmate, who she is connected to emotionally and metaphysically-- and having her barely react to his death. Instead she weeps with relief when she sees her “found family,” including someone she’s spent like 10 mins of screen time with (Poe).

- Making Leia a mother who sent her son away after learning that he would fall to the dark side, and withholding the family legacy saber from him in the hopes of giving it to someone worthy one day (her “true heir”). Carrie would HATE it.

-Digging into Ben’s trauma, conflict, and abuse (“I am every voice you have ever heard inside of your head”) only to kill him off. In the words of Snape, he was fattened up like a lamb for slaughter. Only he never came back.

- All Leia and Han wanted was to bring their son home. So did Luke. All three essentially sacrificed themselves for this cause. But Ben only came home to them in death-- as a tortured young man whose hopes, dreams, promise, and many possible futures were lost to the wind. Anyone who thinks the OT trio would be happy with that ending for him hasn’t spent enough time talking to a parent.

- Speaking of, how desolate and f*cking dark and depressing that message is in a space fairy tale that is supposed to be appropriate for children. The young child I witnessed sobbing hysterically when I exited the theater says it all.

-Rose. I would be just a routine level of pissed off about how badly they botched her arc in TROS (to say nothing of their laughable pretense that FinnRose never happened) if it weren’t for the reasons behind it. But the filmmakers sidelined her in order to appease the ugliest, most virulent and hateful voices in fandom. So instead I’m f*cking ENRAGED.

-Burying the Skywalkers in a literal desert graveyard, on a planet that involved death, suffering, horror, and hatred for 3 generations of them.. While a creepily regressed Leia and Luke looked on with unsettling grins.

-Leaving countless arcs unfulfilled across a 45 year old story. The Jedis are NOT the answer. We heard this from Luke; we heard this from Yoda. We were shown their hubris, coldness, and rigidity many times. For all the talk of balance, we end up exactly where we started... with Rey picking up the mantle of the same Jedi who helped throw the galaxy into chaos.

I have lots of problems with Disney / LF itself. They told us that the extended canon materials (comics, novels, etc.) were important. They greedily took our money while insisting they had a plan-- only to leave us with thematic whiplash and dozens of gaping plot holes that even the most amateur novelist could have avoided. They winked at Reylos (don’t even get me started on “But I do”) but didn’t hesitate to throw us-- or RJ, or KMT-- under the bus.

They butchered a beloved cultural myth because of their cowardly choice to cater to past generations and nostalgia, and to cave to the ugliest impulses on social media. The former is disappointing, but the latter is morally bankrupt. The idea of giving them a penny more of my money makes me sick.

Lastly, I had to take a step back due to the incessant discourse. The vitriol directed at us is exhausting, and pressure from it has (understandably, but unfortunately) led to a lot of infighting. And on twitter, it’s hard to avoid.

I know this was negative. All of it said, I will always be a Reylo. My dearest fandom friends are all Reylos. The ship itself is beautiful. Women-centered storytelling is beautiful. Our voices have power, and they are important.

I really admire people (and envy!) people who are able to engage in transformative fandom post-TROS. I’m not strong enough for that right now, but I hope to get back there. And when I do, I intend to support my fellow Reylos and independent creators-- Disney can suck it. 😂

#reylo #cw: negativity #cw: discourse #tros

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gemtail · 3 years

Text

RWBY Character Statuses V8:E6

Team RWBY

Ruby: Oh my god, the news!

Weiss: Oh crap! Atlas is screwed!... why weren’t those big airships useful?!

Blake: *panicked cat noises while watching the news*

Yang: This just in! The river of styx heading for Mantle! And it’s got GRIMM!! Fuck off, Ace Ops! We don’t have Penny!

JNOR

Jaune: Harriet, are you fucking kidding me?! THERE IS A GIANT GRIMM RIVER NEXT TO US!!

Nora: Zzz...

Ren: Too busy to brood over being a huntsman.

Oscar: Hmm... I’m gonna get abused for the duration of my stay but... why not stay and try to get some redemption arcs going?

Ozpin: Great minds do think alike! Yes, let’s trick our enemies into being good guys again!

Qrow and Robyn: Plotting ironwood’s downfall

Ironwood’s angels... I mean, Ace Ops!

Harriet: WHERE’S PENNY?! YOU KIDS ARE SELFISH EVEN THOUGH WE WERE ABOUT TO JUST TAKE THE MAIDEN AND RELICS AND PEACE THE HELL OUT LEAVING OVER HALF OF MANTLE TO DIE WHILE YOU KIDS WANTED TO SAVE EVERYONE *takes breath* AAAAAND IT’S NOT LIKE WE JUST STOOD BY AND WATCHED PENNY GET BEAT UP WHILE GETTING AMITY IN THE AIR INSTEAD OF DO ANYTHING TO HELP!!! AND I’M TOTALLY NOT GOING TO REGRET NEGLECTING TO CHECK WATTS’ HANDS AND POCKETS LATER!!

Marrow: Ma’am, incoming transmission... oh shit, it’s our old friends.

Vine: Seems to be the only chill guy out of the group.

Elm: I’M ANGRY BECAUSE MY COWORKER IS A FREAKING ROBOT! NOW I THINK SHE’S JUNK! THAT GOES TO SHOW WHAT I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF HER! THE FACT THAT ONLY WINTER WAS BOTHERED BY MY OPINION SHOWS WHAT WE ALL THOUGHT OF HER!

Winter: I’m sad I’m about to force my friend into doing something she doesn’t want to do and that we let a creepy old man get into her head and may have killed her. I’m also angry at my coworkers for objectifying her... but I won’t say that out loud because I still love the taste of Irondaddy’s boots.

Ironwood: *waiting for the ace ops to come back and deepthroat his boots*

Schnee family

Jacques: Don’t care. He can stay in jail. He can be eaten by grimm for all we care.

Willow: Don’t know but it’s probably like this: ONE SHOT! TWO SHOT! THREE SHOT! FOUR! TAKE THE BOTTLE TO THE HEAD AND HAVE-

Whitley: Really regretting not taking some fighting lessons like his sisters did at the moment. Protect the precious bean!

All of them after the Griiver of Styx supersoaked Atlas: OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT!

Penny: Windows update 15% complete.

Villains

Hazel: I was going easy on ya, kiddo. It was still child abuse but the moment Ozpin comes- OZPIN! BITCH! I’MMA STAB YOU WITH THIS FLOOR TOOTH I FOUND! AND FORGET THAT THE KID I’M ‘MERCIFUL’ TO ISN’T GOING TO FEEL IT AT ALL LATER. I FIGHT WITH SALEM BECAUSE I THINK SHE CAN’T BE STOPPED AND OZPIN IS TRYING TO STOP HER!

Cinder: I’m an awful person. It would be a shame if my backstory suddenly came about and made everyone feel sorry for me... I’m totally not planning Salem’s demise secretly like I did for my stepmother... and I wish Emerald would just STOP being a useless lesbian!

Salem’s lapdog Tyrian: Hey, girl! Watts just gave me a call! He says hi! Also he hacked the maiden so Cinder can download her powers!

Watts: FINALLY! I CAN GIVE MY BOSS A CALL! I need to tell her I just brainwashed an innocent girl by using the power of technology.

Mercury: Screw you, Cinder! I’m one of the cool kids now! See ya later, nerds! I totally didn’t just screw myself out of being under your protection and can now receive full punishment from Salem if I screw up! I work alone because I’m cool!... Emerald, stop being a simp!.. I'm not gonna miss you! ...probably... maybe.

Emerald: How can I make Cinder love me? ...To simp harder or not to simp so hard? That is the question. Also, screw you, Mercury! I simp over whoever I want!

Neo: I hate my job.

Salem: Ah shit. Better abuse Cinder and then promise to lift her up again by letting her have the maiden powers so she stops her vendetta against me for now. Gotta act like I love her so she works for me at the moment... I don’t actually care if she gets the maiden powers, I just want the relics so I can flip the gods off again.

#rwby #funny #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #ace ops #team rwby #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #character status

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honestlyhufflepuff · 4 years

Text

Mr. Universe Breakdown

I just had a lot of feelings about tonight’s episodes, so come with me while I attempt to process them.

Ice cream and pie for dinner is great, but you can kind of tell Steven is eating it more for his dad’s sake than his own.

The entire "Dear Old Dad" callback is so sweet, imma cry.

I love how Steven is this nearly adult drool-snoring with his mouth wide open in Greg's van and Greg still looks at him like he's the cutest child ever.

Alright, this expression with that weak laugh was the first hint we get that Steven is not totally into this. He's trying, but it's getting wearing.

Trying on tacky convenience store sunglasses and Greg noping out of the bathroom were peak moments.

Matching icons, anyone??

Greg, you live in a van, how are your standards that high?

Also, I wasn’t expecting Guacola to have a callback. No redemption arc for that abomination of a beverage.

“Dad, you’re rich, you don’t have to steal!”

I love how Steven just immediately assumes his dad is taking him to steal stuff. I’m doing this react on my second watch through, but I immediately knew this was the house Greg grew up in.

There’s a picture of the barn in the hallway! And a “Love Lives Here” sign. Oh no, is that this Universe’s equivalent to “Live, Laugh, Love?” Here I thought Greg avoided his parents because they were toxic or abusive, but it turns out they’re probably just super lame and cramped his style.

“Sorry for breaking into your lovely home. You seem like such nice people, with excellent tastes.”

First watch through, I totally thought this was a sarcastic little teen snark comment. Because come on. This decor is the quintessential representation of dated-grandparent-mild-hoarder-chic. On my second watch through, this seems utterly genuine. This house represents a peaceful, happy, stable life that Steven’s never known, and that he thinks he never will. He has so much longing to take in every single detail, before he even knows the people who live in that house are related to him. I had to take a break after writing that sentence because I got emotional.

He is more than strong enough to forcibly stop his dad from “stealing,” or to demand an explanation from him, but instead he goes off to write an “i’m srry we broke into ur house lol” note. Seems like he wanted a justifiable reason to explore this house.

Steven thinks later in the ep that Greg rejected a perfect life, but why would the parents not open any of Greg’s letters? Do they know about Steven? Do they care? It seems like they would care quite a bit, given that all of Greg’s memories have been preserved throughout the house, and yet no pictures of Steven, which tells me they don’t know about him. It’s not lost on me that Greg uses a PO box so they can’t find him (also because he still lives in a van). Is Greg repeatedly sending them checks so he feels he doesn’t owe them anything, and they are just refusing to cash them? I have so many questions.

Alright, so Steven is SO EXCITED to see Greg’s childhood memories. So excited to see his roots. To see his own connection to his human heritage. And Greg just shuts it down.

Way back in “Gem Harvest,” Greg saw how desperate Steven was to make a relationship with Uncle Andy work. And yet Greg did nothing to expose him to other human relatives.

In his attempt to grant Steven “freedom,” he just bound him and lived through him in a different way than his own parents did. If Steven’s upbringing was really about freedom more than Greg projecting his own issues, then Steven would have been given the option to have grandparents in his life. He would have gotten to decide if he liked meatloaf every Thursday and been given the chance to take road trips to their warm, lived in little house. It is a huge, glaring mistake that Greg never gave Steven that chance, especially after seeing how much he loved Andy.

“Leave that junk behind.”

Greg found the one memory he was looking for, and paid no attention to what Steven was drawn to.

“I get it, Steven. When I was just little Gregory Demayo I was going through the motions. Doing what everybody else wanted.”

And yet that’s exactly what he’s having Steven do. He’s literally having Steven walk in his footsteps to find himself in the same way he did, and he’s so lost in his own nostalgia that he’s not understanding that the reason that path worked for him was because he chose it. Steven’s way of breaking free and finding himself might end up being horribly boring and domestic to Greg, since that was something he never knew growing up.

This song is pretty tight, but Steven is not feeling it. Read the room, Greg. It’s like that “who wants to go a ROAAAAD TRIPPP??” line all over again.

“I don’t need this song, I need what you had...they can’t have been worse than mom’s family. I went half way across the galaxy for them, and THIS was right here??”

PREACH, Steven! He has always been so desperate for family. I’m getting so frustrated with Greg for denying him that choice because of his own hangups with authority figures.

Steven: You’re just like mom!

Greg: You grew up with actual freedom!

Steven: I grew up in a van!

Oh geez, stuff is about to go down. The leak did not prepare me for this moment.

“My problem isn’t that I’m a gem! My problem is that I’m a UNIVERSE!”

And here we see Steven shift from blaming his mom for everything, to blaming his dad for everything. And it’s so cathartic, honestly. It’s hard to be mad at Greg because he’s just so sweet and gentle, and rarely gets angry back at someone even when they are angry at him. And he genuinely loves the crap out of Steven. Even with all that, however, he is not blameless. And Steven has a right to call him out on that.

Scene breakdown: The driver’s side is totally crushed. The impact is enough that Steven was unconscious while Greg pulled him out of the car, and while he called for a tow truck. Think of all the impacts Steven hasn’t been knocked unconscious for, including all those hits from Jasper in the very next episode. If he was a normal human, Steven would have died on impact here. His gem probably was working overtime rapidly healing multiple fractures and internal bleeding in his brain.

And here’s where Steven starts to tune Greg out. I can’t help but see a parallel to when Aquamarine/Bluebird gets so annoyed with Steven’s relentless positivity.

I guess the talent of delivering all those cheesy motivational pep talks came from Greg. You know what, though? Forced positivity is just widening the divide between them at this point. Steven is not in a positive place right now, and he did his best to express why, but instead of owning up to anything Greg is just chalking it up to him “going through a hard time right now.” On the surface he appears sympathetic, but his response is ultimately condescending and invalidating.

And in the background he just talks about eating ice cream for more meals, like that’s going to fix everything. Like Steven didn’t just tell him that was the opposite of what he needed.

Even at this moment Greg never offers to connect him with his human family, when Steven has very clearly stated that’s what he wants.

I never would have thought a simple scene deleting a photo would be so tense. The building music, continuing to make Greg seem further away. The tired, bitter look in Steven’s eyes. This is like a villain origin story wtf.

Steven is slowly running out of people who he feels he can connect with. At the start of SUF it was the gems, and then it was Connie, and now it’s Greg. With that deleted photo he’s decided that Greg is no longer worth confiding in. He’s just another person who won’t listen.

I thought this scene would be the most painful one I saw tonight, until I saw Fragments...

#mr. universe #suf spoilers #su meta #su analysis #su reaction #steven universe

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gayregis · 4 years

Note

Hi, just wanted to ask, how did you get into the witcher franchise (did you read the books before you played the games or vice versa?). Love your blog, byeeee :)

ty for the ask!! i hope you dont mind if i go too in-depth because i was legit thinking about this earlier today...

tldr: i played tw3 and liked it, then read the books

i got into the witcher because one of my favorite gaming youtubers was doing a playthrough of tw3 on youtube in around i think september 2017. i liked this specific gaming youtuber for being shit at games and not caring about it... but tw3 was a different game. it felt like the decisions mattered, that there was an actual story here, that when this youtuber made shitty decisions and didn’t really care about the characters involved, i got frustrated because this game seemed really good... so i picked up the game myself and played it though, it was magnificent. not to r/witcher “the witcher 3 is literally the best game created in this history of ever” but it was sincerely good... not only does it have a great story, characters, and graphics, but it is genuinely comfortable to play as a game, even if you’re not great at games (i like playing video games but i’m not good at them when it comes to combat, i literally just would prefer to hack and slash through). so, i played through tw3 and the fact that it made me cry multiple times i found to be really interesting... but it was still just a game to me, it wasn’t something i thought about when i have time to daydream headcanons. i had read i think the witcher (short story) halfway through playing, just to get a feel of what tw3 came from, but from that, i realized the books and the games were incredibly different entitities, and i decided to not read the books until i had finished the game, or at least until i had more free time on my hands (mind i was in high school and was a senior, and during this time was when i was submitting college applications... exceptionally stressful, and the reading/writing part of my brain was absolutely fried from essay writing and reviewing). i was particularly struck by geralt and ciri’s relationship and the isle of mists quests fucked me up pretty bad.

then around later 2017, i was really enjoying tw3, and had finished tw3′s base game and hearts of stone, and was now making my way into blood & wine. i was just playing it like normal, then came the part when geralt met regis. at first i wasn’t too interested (i mean, i was, but in the story of blood & wine, not in the books) until the little journal text pop-up appeared on my screen. you know, the one about quests you just received, or characters you just met. it was going through the motions of saying i finished this quest, picked up this new one, i was all like fine, fine, okay, alright, and then it just fucking puts regis’ long-ass name on the screen taking up a good amount of my FOV and i am immediately like, what? what the fuck? who the fuck? that’s the name? of the guy we just met? that guy??? he didn’t seem like someone with a name like that? who the fuck IS this guy.

so i head over to the wiki page for regis. i thumb through the basic information, i’m pretty interested, this quest stuff to find ciri sounds interesting. i decide to give the witcher books another try, because i have more free time now and am way more invested as everyone here as characters. also, i want to find out more about yennefer, because she was being badmouthed by everyone i saw online, and i wanted to read more about her and see if she was really so bad (spoilers: she’s not at all, the internet is just misogynistic).

i don’t think that i’m going to actually really care about these books, i just want more flavor and explanation about how in hell a witcher met a vampire and these two somehow became friends. so, i don’t care about reading them in order. i go online and find fan translations of every book, i open baptism of fire and i just start reading the bit about the fish soup. i’m suddenly just laughing my ass off, really interested in who these other characters are, milva and cahir, and how dandelion seems to actually be the best friend to geralt that he was said to be in tw3. i also notice immediately that geralt... oh my god, geralt’s such a cranky bitch. i’m SHOCKED at how annoying geralt is. i realize that this is probably what geralt’s been like, this whole time, and tw3 just gave me a sterilized version of him. i’m trying to decide if i like this change or not, at first i HATED it... but then realized it actually gave him a character, where in tw3 he feels a little more... empty, waiting for the player to project a personality onto him.

so, i just read all of the hansa bits of baptism of fire, skipping over anything i don’t understand. i am saddened when i can’t find any more, so i move onto tower of the swallow. and then lady of the lake. “oh, so that’s why geralt was surprised to see regis in blood & wine...” feeling at a loss after reading stygga, i start at the beginning and make my way through the books chronologically, like they should be read. i soon realize that this series really isn’t about killing monsters at all, and i’m thrilled. i thought the series was just going to be about geralt killing things in a swamp and reporting back to whoever hired him, like in tw3... and i was wrong. this series is about personal connections! relationships! ... and fatherhood. [see read more for personal junk]

i can’t remember when i started disliking tw3. it must have been around the time that i finished the books (im using the word finished loosely... i still havent finished some scenes because theyre too violent to read and continue with my day in peace, and i also read tos/lotl by skipping around, so i never got the full experience of reading them as full novels).

i just distinctly remember returning to my tw3 new game+ save after rereading the fish soup scene, and thinking about how lonely the game felt... i just felt so dispairingly alone, this loneliness that i hadn’t felt while playing before, that i had to put the game down. i returned to the game again, but i had just reread edge of the world... and i felt so alone again.

so reading the books ruined tw3 for me, not out of malicious intent, but just because i think i realized geralt isn’t meant to be the lone wolf. the novels center around him and his family and friends, and i just genuinely missed that when replaying tw3. plus, i began to realize a bunch of things, like ciri’s scar is supposed to be bigger, geralt’s supposed to wear his hair in a headband, yennefer’s hair is actually curly, dandelion’s supposed to actually be in the game. there were so many inconsistencies with the characters i had imagined while reading the books that eventually i just stopped playing tw3 (i already played it once, so nbd) and got really into the books.

sometime later i saved up like $80 to buy the paperback versions of the books (UK versions including season of storms) because i knew i was in really deep lol and i wanted the official translations super badly, also we were doing an assignment in class that allowed us to do something with our favorite book, but we needed to have it in-person and not as an e-book, so it was the perfect excuse. much time spent on hansa headcanons later and... here we are today.

a read-more, because this is more personal.

the witcher series picked me up at an eerily appropriate time. two things in it stood out to me: 1) geralt’s relationship with ciri 2) regis’s alcoholism.

i distinctly remember an event where i started crying in front of my parents because my dad was being so absent in my life or maybe it was because they were arguing, something like this... and i remember referencing tw3 isle of mists quest actually by saying “i shouldn’t have to learn it (good parenting) from a video game” ... lol. it wasn’t an epic burn from a 17 yo, but it was just a painful remark made in anger. i still think back to it because of how first watching geralt hug ciri made me feel and how i was actually really bitter because i was jealous of ciri for about a week after completing the quest. then i kind of pushed it out of my mind and didn’t think so much about it, until the night i mentioned it.

in late march of 2018, something very bad happened in my family. that’s probably the best way to describe it. the situation ended in my parents finally separating. my mom and i were pretty afraid and lost after that. after i had collected my thoughts and everything and went back to as “normal” as i could, about a month later, when the creative part of my brain finally began to function again and wasn’t inhibited due to fear, i clung to the witcher more than i did before... and this time, actually particularly to regis, because guess who has a whole redemption arc relating to not being alcoholic and being a genuinely good person who speaks gently and heals the vulnerable?

#anon #ask

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at-the-exd-of-everythixg · 4 years

Note

✩ ][Rhys and Pascal][

@blind-mutant

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

Pascal is and it's a trait held from knowing that his raised voice got the attention of seventy people. Now he just feels awful when he yells near Rhys.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

Probably Rhys at first but definitely no longer after the breakup incident.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

Pascal will but he mostly just leaves for an entire day or two to clear his head. Still cannot remember to call Rhys about it and gets yelled at after.

Who trashes the house?

Rhys will.

Do either of them get physical?

No, they'd never dream of it. Pascal hopes this litreally.

How often do they argue/disagree?

Not that often, Pascal can see the disagreements and stop them beforehand but the biggest ones are where Pascal does stuff for Rhys's own good or if he feels like Rhys may be trying to defend his actions of killing his cult.

Who is the first to apologise?

They both race to apologise and Rhys is first but Pascal draws out his apologies for days until Rhys gets him to shut up.

Sex:

Who is on top?

Pascal is and usually likes to physically be on top.

Who is on the bottom?

Rhys is!....Until Pascal lovingly calls him a "Dinky twinkie" and then spends the rest of his night at the mercy of cruel shadows and an even crueler man.

Who has the strangest desires?

Rhys definitely and Pascal is wondering whether he needs to order certain toys or fake vampire teeth. I'm screaming at Rhys getting into collars for Pacsal after the breakup incident ("Glowbug don't you think this is going to far-" "No.")

Any kinks?

Rhys likes it when Pascal plays about with his extra hot mouth, likes it when Scal presses him down and teases him so sweetly and how he acts smug in the moment. Pascal has found that he surprisingly enjoys the sharp cold of Rhys's shadows and has a fondness for gags and a huge ass humiliation kink. Especially if its Rhys degrading him.

Who’s dominant in bed?

Pascal is but honestly there's a lot of banter that plays about with dominance.

Is head ever in the equation?

Ye s. Pascal shrieked the first time he got head and it ended up with him yelling at Rhys to stop laughing. Rhys??? Can't get enough of a warm mouth on him...especially if he can tease and convince Pascal to get on his knees somewhere public but private in winter....fancy boy needs a cockwarmer and Pascal was practically made for it.

If so, who is better at performing it?

Pascal is. Hot mouth gives unfair advantage.

Ever had sex in public?

Not yet but who knows ;)

Who moans the most?

Rhys does.

Who leaves the most marks?

Rhys does because he is possessive baby! Especially after finding out that Pascal gets flirted with and after the breakup thing.

Who screams the loudest?

Rhys does.

Who is the more experienced of the two?

Rhys is with men but Pascal gets the hand of it with pre visionary experience.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

Most of the time its lovemaking or love fucking!

Rough or soft?

Soft most of the time but Rhys likes to get in a good rough.

How long do they usually last?

Pascal lasts about five minutes? He builds himself up embarrassingly easy. Rhys probably lasts a couple of minutes more.

Is protection used?

Yeah, boys gotta be safe since they don't know if Inhumans can transfer STDs.

Does it ever get boring?

Nope! Especially since Pacsal can always change stuff up. Rhys comes onto him? Pacsal can twist it about, all while being smug.

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

Possibly over the counter of Pascal's work late at night or in his physic shop especially.

Family: (For this, we'll just imagine that Pascal found and kept a kid from his cult and thought the first step of redemption was raising them)

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?

They don't but if an orphan winds up on Pascal's doorstep??? Parenthood calls and Pascal must scream back.

If so, how many children do your muses want/have?

Probably just one.

Who is the favorite parent?

Pascal is because he's soft and bends backwards for his precious baby.

Who is the authoritative parent?

Rhys isn't that much but...someone has to be a little strict.

Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school?

Pascal.

Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around?

Rhys is because he's awful and needs to let his baby have as much candy as they want.

Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children?

They both do!!! They're the embarrassing dads who scream and Pascal cheats by using predictions.

Who goes to parent teacher interviews?

Pascal does as he handles them better. Rhys just gets angry and while it's hot....its problematic.

Who changes the diapers?

Pascal will. Future vision is a bitch.

Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby?

Rhys will since he's up at that time anyway.

Who spends the most time with the children?

Rhys does since he doesn't work.

Who packs their lunch boxes?

Rhys does!

Who gives their children ‘the talk’?

They both do since they had such (aka no) Talks in their teens.

Who cleans up after the kids?

Pascal will otherwise he'll trip.

Who worries the most?

Rhys does.

Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?

Rhys absolutely and he now knows why Pascal woke up mad at him.

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle?

Rhys definitely wants his big warm teddy bear!!

Who is the little spoon?

Rhys is unless its summer.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

Rhys does but once in a while Pascal will shock Rhys and do it as well.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?

Rhys "Gremlin man" Brennan.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

Probably Rhys but this is mostly in summer.

Who gives the most kisses?

Pascal!! Rhys is so affectionate so its the least he can do.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

Pascal loves listening to Rhys play and attempting it as well but the boys adore playing with the children.

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?

On the sofa and wrapped up in blankets with the kids cuddled in.

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other?

Rhys. He loves hearing Pascal's quiet desperation as he knows the inevitable is coming!

How often do they get time to themselves?

Quite often, it's a little hard with two jobs but they manage. Having no friends help.

#ask #blind-mutant #he speaks of holy fates (pascal)#headcanon #lemon #these boyyyyssss

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gerses · 5 years

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“I saw your future” - Misunderstanding and projection in The Last Jedi

I want to write about something I’ve been thinking about for a while now: the way this movie is ultimately about misunderstanding between characters in general, and specifically about the mutual projection between Rey and Kylo Ren.

To give a brief summary:

Star Wars: The Last Jedi repeats the theme of misunderstandings several times. We have Poe and Holdo whose clash is caused by both failing to communicate properly and misjudging each other's character - Poe doesn't trust Holdo's leadership and Holdo sees Poe as nothing more than hot headed pilot. Finn and Rose, too, have a rocky start stemming from Rose's misunderstanding of Finn's actions - only gradually she comes to realize he isn't the coward she took him for. There's also DJ, who the heroes assume to be a decent guy, only for this to backfire when he betrays them. And of course Snoke meets his end when he fails to understand the changes in his apprentice.

That the theme is central is very obvious, but it’s what goes on between Rey and Kylo that is really interesting, because not only is that where the theme gets examined more deeply, I also believe this is where many differences between how viewers have interpreted the story come from. You see, in this aspect TLJ is a tricky movie - it fools the viewer into choosing one flawed perspective and buying into it.

What does an abandoned little girl see in a boy whose master turned against him? What does a man terrified of his own weakness see in a scavenger possessing great power? Only what they want to see.

I’m putting the rest under a cut because this got a bit long. For the record, I'm fairly critical of TLJ as a movie, but I believe this particular aspect of it has been misunderstood and ignored. English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.

After The Force Awakens, Rey sees Kylo Ren as nothing more than a monster. When he shows up, she lashes at him, calling him just that. But when Kylo shows her his perspective - how he was betrayed by his master Luke - Rey's opinion changes. She attacks Luke. And although we see Luke's version of thing's which is different, Rey has begun to believe now that Kylo can be redeemed and she takes a great risk to go meet him.

Why? Because in TLJ, the dynamic between Rey and Kylo Ren is not just about misunderstanding - it's also about mutual projection.

Rey is an orphan, who has waited patiently for years for her family to return, refusing to give up, continuing to hope and trust that they care for her and will come for her. This abandonment that she has not yet faced, defines her. Finding her parent's is her greatest wish, accepting that they left her is her greatest fear. So it's not surprising that when she sees that vision of young Ben Solo, betrayed by the uncle her trusted, that she is very emotionally affected by this. It connects straight to her own trauma of abandonment. She attacks Luke which such fury, it is almost like subconsciously it's not him that she is angry at, but rather, it is the repressed anger towards her parents that comes out. Rey easily believes Kylo's version of the story - that he is the victim, Luke and his parent's let him down - because all those things are true FOR HER. Rey is the victim, left alone in a merciless planet to fend for herself. Her parent's did betray her trust. And so, she starts to project her own experiences onto Kylo, believing that they are not so different deep inside. And if they are not so different, then Kylo, too, must be desperate to find a family, a place to belong to. If Rey just gives it to him - offering friendship, forgiveness, telling him he can still come back, he still has a family - then Kylo will surely accept and return to the Light.

But meanwhile, Kylo too has come to believe there is a special connection between the two of them, and that deep inside he and Rey are not so different. And just like Rey's, his assumptions of who she is and what she desires are a projection. Kylo Ren is obsessed with power. His own weakness, vulnerability, is his greatest fear, and his greatest desire is to eliminate this weakness, to metaphorically murder Ben Solo and the past that keeps him from fully embracing the Dark Side. Kylo does not seek to return to his past, his family, but to move away. What Kylo knows of Rey is essentially that she is seemingly a nobody, a lowly scavenger, abandoned by her family, yet exceptionally gifted in the force. It is inevitable, given his own issues, that Kylo then assumes that naturally Rey must hate her family and must wish to kill her attachment to them that is hurting her and holding her back. Another defining trait of Kylo Ren is his obsession with legacy and status, the way he idolizes Darth Vader and seeks to emulate him, the way his own bloodline and it's specialness has defined him. So it is also inevitable then, that he would assume that the Rey must be equally fixated in these things and therefore, the idea of her parents being "nobodies" would disturb her. If only Kylo gives Rey a way out - encourages her to kill her past, to accept the reality about her parents, if he gives her the opportunity to escape, to become special like him, something more than a daughter to be sold for drinking money, that Rey would of course accept, turn to the Dark Side and rule the galaxy together side by side with Kylo.

There is a very fascinating little that sums up this dynamic, their mutual fantasies of each other's that are so far from reality. I'm talking about the scene in the elevator just after Kylo catches Rey. Here is their dialogue:

REY: You don't have to do this. I feel the conflict in you. It's tearing you apart. Ben, when we touched hands, I saw your future. Just the shape of it but solid and clear. You will not bow before Snoke. You'll turn. I'll help you. I saw it.

KYLO REN: I saw something too. Because of what I saw I know when the moment comes you'll be the one to turn. You'll stand with me. Right?

This is interesting scene. We know force users are sometimes capable of seeing (or at least sensing) the future. But nothing we've seen has indicated that this would be truly the case here. Rather, it seems that both of them are making assumptions of whatever they sensed - or believe they sensed, for this an important distinction here. But we see in this moment, that both are convinced they are right.

Then, they step in front of Snoke, and although it seems for a moment that Kylo has lied to Rey, lured her into a trap, he turns his lightsaber against his master instead. They then fight the guards side by side. For a moment, it seems like they are on the same side. But this is an illusion. And in the next moment, the illusion comes crashing down.

Rey tells Kylo to order the First Order to stop attacking the Resistance. But instead, Kylo tells him: "It's time to let old things die. Snoke, Skywalker, the Sith, the Jedi, the Rebels, let it all die." And now Rey starts to understand. That Kylo Ren is not the man she believed he was. Kylo wants her to rule the galaxy with him. It was never about family, finding a place to belong - to her yes, but not to him. Kylo Ren did not kill Snoke to destroy the Supreme Leader, but to become the Supreme Leader. In true Sith manner, the apprentice kills the master and takes their place. Kylo no longer needs Snoke, and ironically, it seems that his connection with Rey and the illusions it was build on, helped him become more confident in his convictions. Look at Kylo's reaction when Rey rejects her.

It is not merely disappointment or hate. It is first confusion, then angry frustration. He offers his hand expecting Rey to take it. "No, no, you're still holding on, let go!" The he tries to use the truth (?) about Rey's parent's to turn her. I think it's important to note here that Rey doesn't speak much - it is Kylo who talks about her parents, and there is no reason to believe he has any real info about them. He merely states Rey's worst fears to manipulate her - or at least, what he believes her worst fears are. He believes that it will hurt Rey to know her parents are "nothing" and she "has no place in this story" - and that then offering her a chance to become something ("But not to me") will make her change her mind. Rey cries, but I don't think there is any reason to believe that she cares about her parents being "filthy junk traders". We're never given any hint that Rey wants to be "special" - that is Kylo's obsession, him projecting his own issues with his legacy onto her. She simply cries because she knows her family is probably dead and may never have cared about her to begin with. And because she has already found a place to belong to and people to care about, she rejects Kylo. The last shot of them together has Rey closing the door of the Falcon - and cutting the connection between them.

Kylo Ren never sought Rey out for his salvation, and Rey never sought him for power and chance to run away from her past. And yet, many people who watched the movie, seem to have been mislead the same way as the characters were. Especially Kylo's character arc is often seen as path towards light, when it seems to me clear that this was merely what Rey and the viewer are first lead to believe. I see no real evidence that TLJ takes Kylo closer to redemption - quite the opposite, he clearly takes an important step towards growth as a villain (not that he couldn’t been redeemed later - it just doesn’t happen here). In the last minutes, when he assumes the title of the Supreme Leader, orders the Millennium Falcon (with Rey inside) to be shot down and confronts Luke, we see Kylo Ren as more confident than ever before. Here, he finally seems like a true Sith, not a boy playing dress up.

Similarly, some viewers seem to take Kylo's interpretation of Rey as truth. I've seen many people arguing that the talk about "nobodies" and having a place in the story seem to go against Rey's character, but like I explained, this is Kylo speaking.

It is also Kylo speaking when he talks about letting the past die, a line that some have taken to be some kind of core message of the movie. That supposedly, Rian Johnson wanted to send the message that the past - the previous movies, the nostalgia - should die. But again, this is a line by the villain and the movie makes it pretty clear in the end that Kylo is wrong. Because killing the past didn't work. Like Snoke says, murdering Han Solo made Kylo weaker. As Obi-Wan once said to Vader: "Strike me down and I will become more powerful than you can ever imagine." The memory of Han and the guilt will haunt Kylo forever.

This is also important for Luke's characterization, because it is here that we see Luke overcome his own guilt and sense of responsibility towards Kylo. When Kylo kills Snoke and still rejects Rey's offer, he does it all out of his own choice. There is nobody manipulating him now. Until that moment, he has been able to blame Luke, blame his parents, blame Snoke. Now, he is the one in charge of First Order, nobody is ordering him around, Rey has offered to help him, Leia still loves him, he could return at any time - and he doesn't. Luke was a loving uncle and a good master to Ben Solo for the boy's entire life. Yes, he failed Ben, one time, for a split second. But Luke didn't make Ben slaughter his students and run away and join the Dark Side. He - and Han and Leia - are not the one's to blame. Ben Solo made his own choices, and he is the only one who can save himself. This is not Luke Skywalker as some horrible monster or pathetic failure, this is a man who lived a long life dedicated to the good and made one mistake, then ended up punishing himself for it for years. Far from iconoclastic anti-nostalgia lesson, the true message of this movie is one of accepting and confronting the past (Rey and her parent's, Luke and Kylo).

I think these are all my thoughts about the subject - this ended up being longer than I wished... But yes, this is what TLJ, in all of it's flaws and other issues, is ultimately about to me. This is what I personally believe Rian Johnson set out to achieve with his movie.

#star wars #the last jedi #rey #kylo ren #star wars meta #movies #my texts

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397bartonstreet · 5 years

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When Harry Met Sally AU Part 1

This is a RETHANIEL AU!! It’s been sitting in my notes app since I posted that one post and I forgot to finish it! This is gonna be broken up into parts so that it doesn’t get too long. It’s gonna stay a headcanon list until the day I find the motivation to actually write it

So Nathaniel did his last semester abroad at Yale (semi consciously to get away from the pressures of home) and his father was still bitter about it (even if it was at a prestigious school like Yale) and told him if he wanted to come back he’d have to find his own way

Rebecca, having graduated from Yale, broke it to her mom that she’d be moving to California after college because she couldn’t stand to go back home after everything that happened

Rebecca found a tiny ass apartment in LA and her mom said she’d only support her if she continued to pursue Law

Rebecca’s dorm roommate told her that she had a friend who needed a ride back to LA, and he offered to pay gas money and food

And Rebecca, needing all the money she can get, said hell yeah. And the picture the roommate showed her, I mean he’s a little too frat boy for her taste but it would definitely not suck sitting next to that for a cross country road trip

When she drives up to their agreed spot, he’s obscenely making out with a girl, and Rebecca knows then and there she’s dealing with a Grade A douchebag

The first day is awkward and silent, she tries to break the ice but Nathaniel’s too uptight and self righteous to give her anything more than curt answers

The second day Rebecca is extremely bored, and he won’t let her play any of her favorite broadway hits so she decides to bother him, asking him all kinds of personal questions and calls him out on his uptightness

Nathaniel thinks she’s weird and annoying and all he wants is to silently drive to LA but she won’t shut up. He’s paying for the damn ride so she should at least give him the courtesy of giving him what he wants right?

But she doesnt and keeps bothering him, saying things like “I bet you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. You’re benefitting off of daddy’s money, do everything he says to maybe get a hug from him and are definitely inheriting the family business”

she’s pretty spot on and it hits a nerve but he tries not to let it show and throws back “well I bet you were always weird and had no friends and dates guys to cope with your daddy issues”

They stay quiet after that

The next motel they stop at has a diner next door and, because they’re starving, go there instead

Rebecca orders pancakes and extra bacon and is absolutely appalled by Nathaniel’s complex order of a burger without the buns, the condiments, the cheese, the onions, and only half the patty

R: that is absolutely disgusting

N: Well with all the junk we’ve been eating on the way here I have to compensate

R: Junk? You’ve been eating trail mixes

N: They had chocolate chips in it Rebecca

The third day R says “okay let’s trying this getting to know each other thing again I feel like we got off on the wrong foot, hello my name is Rebecca Bunch, I grew up in Scarsdale, I’m an Aries/Taurus cusper, and I’m a Ravenclaw”

He accidentally reveals he’s read the books, accuses her of being of Gryffindor and all that

That conversation turns into discussions and debates about the books, who the real villains are, if Draco deserved redemption, and all other kinds of Deep stuff

A conversation about the relationships in the books turns into a conversation about irl relationship

They talk about how they both feel about them. Rebecca wants to find her soulmate, The One, a romanticized relationship

Nathaniel says all of that is not real and a waste of time. It’s about the chase, the pursuit, and serious relationships get boring

Rebecca finds offense to this and they have an argument about it

R: if anything the pursuit gets tiring. Constantly chasing and getting nowhere

N: then you let that go and move on. It’s about having fun while still being free

R: thats bullshit

the rest of the car ride is quiet until they get to California. It’s awkward when they say their goodbyes and politely shake each other’s hand farewell

they silently hope to themselves they never see each other again

#cxg #craxy ex girlfriend #rethaniel #rebecca x nathaniel #headcanons #my fics

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journodale · 4 years

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Why I’m mad about the Rise of Skywalker

My first reaction to The Rise of Skywalker – once I got past the litany of eyerolls and “oh, come on!” reactions while I was watching it – was just how mad I was about it. It’s not a deep-abiding rage, mind you, and much of my anger is a form of disappointment, but some of it is just about how petty and spiteful aspects of the film seemed to be in response to things that happened in The Last Jedi. (Spoilers, and occasional salty language, about herein).

My biggest and first complaint is that JJ Abrams and his co-writer, Chris Terrio, turned Rey into Ken the Jedi Prince. Ken. The. Fucking. Jedi. Prince. For those of you who are unaware, these stemmed from a series of largely shite (but occasionally charmingly shite) young adult novels in the early 1990s, as the franchise was experiencing its first major revival with the publication of Timothy Zahn’s Thrawn trilogy. Several of those books revolved around the discovery of a Jedi “prince” named Ken, who started to follow Luke Skywalker around until he discovered that he was indeed Palpatine’s grandson (the books had a whole story arc about his father, Palpatine’s son, being a three-eyed mutant), though these storylines and characters conveniently disappeared from the old expanded universe and were never spoken of again. Around the same time, Dark Horse Comics also published Dark Empire, many of the plot points therein were also lifted liberally by Abrams and Terrio – specifically that Palpatine has resurrected himself by use of clone bodies and mysterious dark side powers – the film simply called the planet Exogol rather than Byss, but the broad strokes are the same, including that Palpatine was eventually trying to move his essence into a new body (in this case it was Leia’s unborn third child rather than Rey). These comics touched off a whole litany of spin-offs wherein the nature of the Force and the conflict between the Jedi and Sith descended to increasingly cartoonish depths, and yet here they are, reviving themselves, because of the need to give Rey a bloodline.

In an interview with Terrio in The Hollywood Reporter, Terrio stated that they chose to make Rey a Palpatine because it was the “worst news she could receive,” and then handwaved a bunch of bullshit about “dark side royalty” and how she was choosing her own family over her ancestry. The problem is that this makes no sense, either from a story perspective, or from the broader continuity of the Star Wars universe. Terrio insisted that the original films established that the Force ran along family lines because of Luke Skywalker’s line to Leia in Return of the Jedi about how the Force was strong in their family – discounting that this was Luke’s awkwardly trying to tell a woman who made out with him six months before that she was actually his long-lost twin sister, or the fact that the whole existence of the Jedi Order and their prohibitions against marriage and children precluded there being Force-wielding dynasties out there. Rian Johnson in Last Jedi to make the significant revelation that Rey was the children of junk traders and nobodies was not only “democratizing” the Force – that one didn’t need famous parents to feel the Force – but also to being a hero. Terrio insisted that they weren’t slighting Johnson – and that could be the case. They instead were taking the laziest course to telling the story of the film.

Absolutely nothing in the story demanded that Rey be of Palpatine’s bloodline – if they insisted on bringing back Palpatine (another lazy choice, but more on that later), he could simply have demanded that Kylo Ren find her because she was simply a powerful Force user, whom the Force seemed to manifest in her as a response to the rising darkness (which would seem to have been the whole promise of The Force Awakens’ title). They wouldn’t have needed to invent a son for Palpatine (and then handwave away the fact that he apparently didn’t have Force powers despite their insistence on strong Force lineages, or if he did, how he managed to avoid being groomed as his father’s new apprentice and heir, and how he wasn’t the subject of a war of succession to the throne upon Palpatine’s death), and they would have maintained the notion that the Force belongs to everyone – not the Jedi, not the Sith, and certainly not to famous bloodlines (as Johnson made explicitly clear in Last Jedi). But no – giving Rey a bloodline was about fan service, and the constant need by certain fans that she be related to somebody important (never mind that all of the theories they put forward would not have worked out in terms of ages and timelines).

Another example of Abrams and Terrio totally not thumbing their noses at Johnson was the complete abandonment of the core theme of Last Jedi – that it’s people and relationships that matter, not things. What Abrams and Terrio replaced it with was about turning objects into fetish items – lightsabers in particular. The fact that they insisted on Rey having rebuilt Anakin/Luke’s lightsaber – recreating it exactly rather than turning it into something new – or having Rey build her own lightsaber before the film opened, coupled with the fact that they also introduced Leia’s lightsaber to imbue it with special meaning, as though it was the fact that it was these two lightsabers in particular that imbued Rey with particular symbolic meaning for the final fight was a complete abrogation of Johnson’s message. Lightsabers are not Excalibur – they are not magic swords bestowed upon Jedi by women in lakes. That said, Abrams is pathologically incapable of writing screenplays that don’t have MacGuffins (though the Sith Wayfinders were themselves also MacGuffins, and the dagger another one – even though its appearance and history made absolutely no sense), so this is more of his particularly lazy writing. As an aside, the whole Wayfinder MacGuffin is itself partially lifted from the Jedi Prince series, where the Imperial warlords were looking for the Glove of Darth Vader and found it in pieces of the second Death Star…on a water planet. I’m not even kidding.

The redemption of Kylo Ren didn’t make any sense. Terrio tried to handwave some Joseph Campbell bullshit about how great myths required atonement with the father figure and the great sin of patricide, but Ren’s actual rejection of the dark side was completely nonsensical – particularly because of how they used the device of Leia going into some kind of meditative state that eventually led to her death, as though it was her mystical intervention and self-sacrifice that somehow drove it out of him, as though the dark side was some kind of demonic possession. It also didn’t make sense how Rey decided to heal Ren immediately after she struck him with a lethal blow with her lightsaber – which they played as an act of mercy – and it was Terrio’s contention that it was what allowed Ren to let the light in and see his father again (which was a memory and not a ghost, because how else were they going to get Harrison Ford wedged into the film for fan service). There’s no logic to any of that. Both Force Awakens and Revenge of the Sith showed that going to the dark side was a choice – Ren chose to kill his father because he thought that was what would allow him to bury his past. After a career of mass murder and raping the minds of his interrogation victims, he’s going to suddenly turn it all back because he got stuck by a lightsaber and healed? Really? I’m not buying it. (Incidentally, the fact that Ren’s body dissolved in the end also makes no sense either – Kenobi, Yoda, and Skywalker’s corporeal dissolution had to do with the powers that Qui-Gon Jinn learned to unlock to maintain his presence in the Force after death, which he later showed Yoda how to do in The Clone Wars series and in Revenge of the Sith. I can see Luke having taught Leia the powers, but Ben/Kylo Ren before his training had been completed? I have a hard time with that).

Yet another of Abrams and Terrio’s lazy choices was the need to bring in a Big Bad™ in the form of Palpatine rather than engaging with another of the significant aspects of the Last Jedi’s themes, which was about the banality of evil. The whole point of the casino sequence that fanboys like to deride is that it showed Finn the evil of indifference of those who profit from war, while the underlying theme of the rise of the First Order in the films had to do with people being nostalgic for fascism – sure, a lot of people got trampled underfoot but at least the trains ran on time and we were “safe” with stormtroopers on every corner. It made the film as relevant to the 2010s as George Lucas did with commenting about Nixon and Vietnam in the original trilogy, or his construction of a trilogy of films about political violence and the rise of authoritarian populism with the prequels. Killing Palpatine does nothing about these bigger, underlying societal problems that the Resistance has to confront. Remember in Last Jedi where Poe talks about being the spark that will light the flame that will burn the First Order to the ground? Well, that’s all evaporated with the revelation that hey, it was Palpatine pulling the strings all along. Nothing to confront here, people, let’s just kill the Big Bad™ and go home. Again, it’s cheap, it’s lazy, and it’s fan service.

I have a big problem with the way Abrams and Terrio treated the Finn/Poe relationship, which all of the actors were pushing for. Abrams, in several interviews, dismissed this as the fact that they have a bond that’s “stronger” because they’ve been through the fire together, or some bullshit like that, then assured fans that they would get their LGBT representation because it’s important to show queer fans that they too belong in the Star Wars universe. That “representation” – the fact that a tertiary character from Last Jedi shares a same-sex kiss with another woman (whom the materials accompanying the film identify as her wife) – is brief, in the background, and was easily sliced out of the film for foreign distribution. And yet, Abrams expects plaudits for his “representation,” while also trying to reinforce Finn and Poe’s hetero credentials with the ambiguity of what Finn planned to declare to Rey as they were sinking in the quicksand, and with Poe’s awkward flirting with Zorii Bliss (and we did learn in the subsequent materials that the pair’s previous “emotionally complicated” relationship was when they were teenagers). Abrams later said that a kiss between Finn and Poe would be “heavy handed” – erm, you know, like the fact that he had Rey kiss Ren, the man who chased her, tortured her, tried to rape her mind, killed her friends, and was a mass-murderer. Yeah, he’s a dark, broody soul who just needs the love of a good woman to complete his redemption story (and I’m sure that the Internet is replete with all kinds of fanfic about how her magic vagina cures Ren’s manpain). That’s totally not heavy-handed, heteronormative fan-service in the slightest. There was actual ground that could be made where Finn and Poe were gay male leads in one of the biggest blockbuster franchises on the planet – something that has never been done before. It would have been ground breaking, keeping entirely with the story that had been established, and would have actually been worthy of applause.

The diminution of Rose Tico’s role is also bullshit, and Terrio’s assurances that they filmed more good stuff with her that just wound up on the cutting room floor also doesn’t pass the smell test. Terrio asserted that it was great how she rose from being a lowly mechanic to being one of Leia’s right-hand advisors – which conveniently had very little screen time. There was an opportunity to have her included with the group aboard the Millennium Falcon on its spy mission right at the very beginning of the film, rather than the insertion of the puppet creature Klaud, so as to show that Rose was an integral part of “Leia’s best agents” entrusted with getting the valuable intelligence from their spy in the First Order, but no, that would be a little too obvious. What is left is essential proof that they have caved to the loud and obnoxious fanboys who objected to her presence in “their” films.

There’s a lot of other nitpicking I could do – whether it’s Abram’s inability to grasp how hyperspace works, the fact that the celebration scenes at the end don’t make any sense with the exception of going down the fan service checklist, or the fact that the closing scene contained so much cheese that I’m surprised the Supply Management marketing boards didn’t file a trade complaint and impose 300 percent tariffs on it. The pace of the film was so frenetic that any scene that could have been poignant or moving was lost in the bang-bang-bang editing. Overall, however, I’m just incredibly disappointed in the lazy writing and fan service that pretends it’s being clever.

This was not the film we deserved. This was a film that rewarded the legions of fanboys who complained that films with strong female characters who don’t wind up in bed with a man at the end were a “feminist agenda;” that films that didn’t pander to the very straight white male entitlement to a particular fandom were the works of “social justice warriors” that hate their own fans; that films that don’t recreate the wonder they felt when they were twelve years old – which is an impossibility – are somehow raping their childhoods. The CBC’s Eli Glasner called it “cinematic comfort food,” but it’s more insidious than that – it’s a repudiation of attempts to grow the franchise beyond just a nostalgia cult, as it increasingly morphs itself into (and by cult, there is now a legion of online “truthers” who trade conspiracy theories about how the films have been hijacked by executives with agendas). And because it will rake in billions of dollars, it will assure the people with the purse strings that this is what the market needs more of. My hope for the franchise is moving toward vehicles like The Mandalorian, and the other forthcoming live-action series on Disney+, because the lessons for blockbusters are apparently to be hollow facsimiles of what came before.

#Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker

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