#like goddamn i know i'm not perfect but at least i don't forget that the reason for everything in good omens is love

[fellthemarvelous]

Aziraphale hate makes my brain hurt.

Like let's be really fuckin' for real here.

Neurodivergent fans have repeatedly said that Aziraphale is autistic coded. I agree with them. I have never been diagnosed but I wonder about myself. If only I could get a doctor to take me seriously enough to test me for it, but alas, I'm a 43-year-old woman living in the good ole US of A.

Those with religious trauma have repeatedly said that they identify with him as well. I'm one of those people. I endured 12 years of Catholic schools and just as much time being taught a very black and white view of things that I've had to spend more than 20 goddamn fucking years working to unlearn.

I find that my views as a survivor of religious abuse are often dismissed because people keep wanting to say "Aziraphale doesn't have religious trauma." Yes, thank you, I get that, but unless you've been indoctrinated and brainwashed into a very black and white view of the world, you probably don't understand the kind of feelings Aziraphale's onscreen experiences evoke in so many of us. Heaven might not be real, but the feelings of "God is always watching" still stick with me today even though I no longer believe in God. I have entirely denounced Christianity because of my own personal experience, and I refuse to allow people to try and guilt me or shame me for trauma that I didn't ask for. I wasn't given a choice.

As a child I was told that God was real and always watching everything you do (just like Santa Claus) and can hear everything you say and knows everything you are thinking. Do you know what I learned to do in order to cope with this overwhelming and anxiety-inducing information as a small child? I learned to censor my thoughts. I never spoke up, and I have always felt like I was putting on a show for people because I had to be who I was told to be or I would get into trouble.

Aziraphale said "poverty is a virtue" during The Resurrectionists, and as someone who grew up in the Bible belt and went to private schools, I was taught this very same shit by the Catholic church. He learned in that very same episode that "poverty is a virtue" is actually a tool of oppression to keep the poor poor and the wealthy wealthy. I know we all watched the episode. He went into that episode believing what he said, but by the end of it he knew it was actually utter bullshit. Aziraphale is not ignorant. He's highly intelligent, and he has never been too proud to admit when he has been wrong. He accepts that the information he learned before is not matching up with reality.

And it's so obvious some of you have zero experience with that type of indoctrination because of how very little empathy you show Aziraphale for his "mistake" of "choosing Heaven over Crowley" and "making Crowley sad" so clearly Aziraphale must somehow be "abusive" and "manipulative" and "selfish" and "self-centered" because he didn't choose to run away with Crowley at the end of season two.

First of all.

FIRST OF ALL...

Aziraphale has a mind of his own.

Aziraphale is always going to try and do what is right.

Aziraphale is an angel. He's a being of love. And the reason he's so "bad" at being an angel is because he actually wants to protect humanity. He has always loved humanity. He repeatedly has to contend with what is "right" versus what is "good" and "wrong" versus "evil". Yeah, he has flaws. He's an angel, not a goddamn fucking saint. He has lived on Earth for more than 6,000 years. He has seen everything. He loves doing human things.

He's obsessed with magic. It makes him so happy. He's not very good at it...well not when he's trying to put on a show for Crowley.

He chose to learn French the hard way, so even though he knows every single language in the world, he chooses to be mediocre at French. Something that annoys and amuses Crowley at the same time.

He loves to dance even though angels aren't supposed to dance, and dancing with Crowley was what he wanted the most.

He owns a bookshop and refuses to sell any of his books because they are books he's had for as long as there have been books. He will chase customers away from his collection, and Crowley understands how much they mean to Aziraphale because he refuses to sell any when Aziraphale leaves him in charge.

He and Crowley have been speaking to each other in coded language for more than 6,000 years. They have to be very careful about what they say because Heaven and Hell are always watching.

Heaven has photographs of Crowley and Aziraphale sitting or standing together throughout history. Hell had one photo of Crowley and Aziraphale actually working together and it was Aziraphale's quick thinking and how good he actually is at sleight of hand tricks that managed to get that photo out of Furfur's hands so he wouldn't be able to turn Crowley over to the Dark Council.

Aziraphale saved Crowley from being taken to Hell again. He wasn't able to save Crowley from Hell in Edinburgh, but he sure as heck managed to save Crowley from Hell during WWII. He took Crowley to his bookshop and showed Crowley that he stole the picture from Furfur. He saved Crowley.

You get that, right?

Aziraphale SAVED Crowley.

People always talk about how it's "always Crowley saving Aziraphale" because apparently heroic acts are only heroic when they are grand gestures. The sleight of hand wasn't heroic at all, am I right? It wasn't sparkly and showy. It wasn't interesting enough, therefore not heroic. At least that's all I'm hearing when people start with their "blah Aziraphale deserves to suffer because I have no imagination or ability to understand the media in front of me blah", and all these reasons he deserves to suffer is because Crowley almost got hurt.

Aziraphale did that without flinching and I watch that part closely every single time. He's not scared for himself. He's scared for Crowley, and he managed to hold onto that photograph. He did not fail Crowley. He protected Crowley.

And so here's another thing that we like to point out. The way that Aziraphale, an angel who is effeminate and male presenting, an angel who is soft and full of love, an angel who is kind and forgiving because he has empathy and compassion, is somehow painted as abusive and manipulative. He's not violent, but he could easily fuck up your world. He doesn't use his powers. We have no idea how powerful he is because we only ever see him do small acts. He's used to hiding. It's the only way he has ever been able to protect Crowley.

And I'm not saying that Aziraphale has actually saved Crowley before means that Crowley hasn't also saved Aziraphale. Like, you get that those are not mutually exclusive and their relationship is not transactional, right? They have spent their entire existence protecting each other but never actually getting to be together because Heaven and Hell are always watching.

Yeah, Crowley fell. We all know this. We are aware of this. He was the serpent of Eden. He gave humanity the knowledge of free will.

But what we don't talk about is what Aziraphale gave humanity.

What did he give them?

We all know what it is!

Let's say it together!

He gave Adam and Eve his flaming sword because it was dangerous outside the garden and Eve was pregnant and she was already having a really bad day. He showed them compassion and gave them his extremely powerful angelic weapon so they would stand a chance on the outside of the garden. He gave humanity the gift of compassion. It's just unfortunate that his flaming sword became a weapon of War.

And then what did he do after that?

Ooooh, yeah, that's right.

God asked him about it and he straight up lied to her and pretended he had no idea where he'd managed to misplace it. She didn't say anything after that. He told Crowley the truth though. He told Crowley the truth even though Crowley fell.

Yeah, we know Aziraphale has done some really fucking questionable things. He and Crowley both suck at passing for human in front of observant people like Nina. They're not human. They are still learning, but they managed to experience human history together despite being on opposite sides and their experiences with humanity are what has shaped them into the compassionate and loving duo they are now. One of them is not better from the other.

This, my friends, is what we call meeting in the middle. It's why shades of gray is so important. Aziraphale constantly breaks the rules. Crowley refused to play by Heaven's rules. It's the reason he fell. He doesn't play by Hell's rules either. These two dorks figured out how to cancel each others' miracles out throughout human history in order to have more time learning about humanity and each other because working all day every day sucks when there are so many new things to learn and experience with the people you love.

We know Crowley and Aziraphale both love each other. Neither of them are good at hiding the hearts stars in their eyes.

But here's what's really fucking annoying about the Aziraphale hate.

Aziraphale was already crying when Crowley grabbed him and kissed him. Aziraphale is trying so very hard to do the right thing. He loves Crowley. He does. But he also has a duty to humanity, and he has taken that job very seriously since the creation of Adam and Eve. He sent them out into the world with a flaming sword so they would have a chance at surviving beyond the walls of the garden.

And he knows that Something Terrible is going to happen and he spent all of second season trying to figure out what that Something Terrible was while trying to have some sort of more honest and open relationship with Crowley, but again, they aren't human, they are a demon and an angel approaching life from opposite sides who met in the middle and fell in love with humanity together.

He wants more than anything to tell Crowley how he feels about him, but he wants to do something grand for Crowley because Crowley has always been grand and dramatic and sexy and a little bit scary.

Crowley is impulsive and has a temper and sometimes says the wrong thing but he has always trusted Aziraphale because Aziraphale gave him a chance even after he fell. Aziraphale chose to shelter him instead of smiting him while they stood on top of that wall. He knew he was supposed to kill Crowley, but oops, he gave his sword away to the humans so he didn't really have anything to kill him with and Crowley is the one who created nebulas. The Pillars of Creation is Crowley's work and Aziraphale was there to witness that, but he watched Crowley more than he watched the nebula. He witnessed the pure joy on Crowley's face when he said "let there be light" as a nebula full of colors exploded before their eyes. He was fascinated by Crowley.

But Aziraphale is going back to Heaven even though he has made it perfectly clear he absolutely has no desire to go back to Heaven. He told the Metatron this during their conversation. He spoke these words out loud. They exist.

But then The Metatron said this....

The Metatron. The very same angel who told Aziraphale in season one "to speak to me is to speak to the Almighty." He's the boss. He's the big guy. He's used to existing as a giant head and he had to give himself a body so he wouldn't stand out on Earth. And he knows that Aziraphale and Crowley have been working together since the beginning. He knows they worked together to prevent Armageddon in season one, and now he's made it clear he knows they were working together long before that. And let's face it, Aziraphale really wants to know what this Something Terrible is that Gabriel is running from so he can try to prevent it from happening.

It makes sense that he would want to take Crowley to Heaven with him because he would be able to keep Hell from getting their hands on him again. Aziraphale hates it in Heaven. He doesn't want to go, but Something Terrible is happening and Metatron isn't taking no for an answer, and maybe Heaven won't be so bad if Crowley is there with him. At least they can fix Heaven together.

But Crowley can't go back. We all get that. We don't blame him for saying no. It doesn't change anything.

Something Terrible is about to happen and Aziraphale has to figure out what it is. He wants to change Heaven.

He is fully aware that Heaven sucks. He still has faith in God. His faith isn't in Heaven. He deserted his platoon in season one and threw himself back to Earth so he could figure out how to make sure the war between Heaven and Hell doesn't happen.

But see, here's the thing. Heaven is at the top. Heaven has all the resources. Heaven is responsible for the creation of Hell. Heaven is empty and Hell is overpopulated. Aziraphale knows this. Crowley knows this. It's obvious every time we see either place. Both sides are desperate to go to war and will not hesitate to destroy humanity in the process. This is the opposite of what Crowley and Aziraphale want for humanity. If anyone can change Heaven, it's Aziraphale. He's the only one up there who gives a shit about humanity as far as we know. No one else is going to speak on humanity's behalf.

Some of us are so busy getting mad at Aziraphale for going back to Heaven and giving Crowley a Big Sad. Newsflash: Crowley is not the main character of Good Omens. Aziraphale and Crowley are equals, yet we wanna hold Aziraphale to higher standards because he's an angel, and when he makes mistakes it's proof that he's the bad guy.

Holy mother of all things that trigger my religious trauma, let me tell you. I spent my entire life hating myself every time I made mistakes. I've had to teach myself that just because I mess up sometimes doesn't mean I'm bad. It means I'm human. I still struggle with it. I probably always will. So when you say that Aziraphale deserves to be punished for breaking Crowley's heart, you not only ignore that Aziraphale's heart is also broken, you're saying he deserves to be punished for doing what he thinks is right.

Wanting to change Heaven for the better is not a bad thing.

And some of y'all wanna see him suffer for going back into the lion's den that is Heaven, knowing that he is already an outcast, that they have already tried to kill him once, knowing that he is a deserter, that he has been lying to Heaven about a lot of things, and you still think he's blinded by Heaven? You think he's just so naive and that's the only reason he's going back. He doesn't show his emotions the same way Crowley does so it means he doesn't care as much. He's expected to consider Crowley's feelings over his own when making choices. Like holy shit if all of that hasn't defined my experience as a woman with religious trauma in this fucking society. He's expected to be subservient to Crowley and if he doesn't do what Crowley wants then he's being unreasonable and illogical.

What the actual fuck, y'all.

Like seriously.

I'm sick of this bullshit. I had to step away from this fandom because of how toxic some people in this fandom are. It's not chasing me away, but the fact that I chose to hang out in a a more toxic fandom that is already notorious for being really toxic over a fandom that claims to be more open-minded and welcoming should probably tell you something.

It gave me a lot of perspective, and yeah, I'm still gonna speak up against the bullshit Aziraphale hate.

People are entitled to their opinions, but the Aziraphale hate isn't an opinion. It's just ableist, misogynistic garbage. At this point we all know y'all say these extreme things about Aziraphale because y'all get more joy out of the harm and alienation it is causing others.

Keep being loudly wrong, but if you think I'm not entitled to challenge shitty-ass, harmful, hateful discourse, bite my ass.

I'm not the one who lost the plot in this fandom.

#autistic coded character #religious trauma #good omens #aziraphale #aziraphale defense squad #i'm in a mood #like i'm begging y'all to learn what empathy is #like goddamn i know i'm not perfect but at least i don't forget that the reason for everything in good omens is love #neil has said this several times #it's one thing to dislike a character #it's another to assassinate characters in ways that blatantly contradict what the narrative has told us #and try to pass it off as canon #if you wanna send me hate just hit the block button instead #i'll try to be really sad about it #and if you just have to send me hatemail at least have the courage to attach it to your name instead of hiding behind anon #i'm too old for this shit #i'm gonna go back to the star wars tag now #it's been a minute since i went off and today proved to be the perfect day for it

[shiny-jr]

Hi! I just want to say that I've read all of your takes on how the overblot crew don't get held accountable for what they've done and I am so happy to find another person that agrees with me.

Listen, I understand that we're dealing with incredibly traumatised teenagers who were pushed into it and overblotting was what ultimately lead them towards their healing but put aside the damage that they did during their overblot and think about how awfully they treated yuu beforehand.

Azul: took away their home and the only comfort family they had in twst (the ghosts), and sent the tweels to attack and harrass them during their attempts to get back their home and free their friends from servitude

Jamil: Kidnapped them, locked them up in a room against their will, again took away their home, isolated them from their friends/adeuce and prevented them from contacting anyone, hypnotised them and manipulated them, forced them to participate in long marches in the desert and literally turned a blind eye during their clear suffering

Vil: (he is literally my least favourite character - and yes, I do understand that he has just as much trauma and issues as the others due to his past and the pressure he puts on himself to be perfect - but I just don't like him) he was downright cruel and needlessly awful to not only Yuu but everyone else. He not only was horrid to poor Epel but he was dismissive and uncaring to the point of upsetting Deuce and making him run off so that no one would see him in that state. And that was before he tried to murder an innocent teenager in cold blood pre-overblot.

Yuu has gone through so much because of them and not once do they ever actually acknowledge the damage they've done to them. No one ever thinks: hey, maybe we should check up on that traumatised child that we've most definitely emotionally scarred and try to make amends instead of brushing their feelings under the rug.

You know why I love Ace so much? He actually calls people out for what they've done. He rightfully admonishes Trey for being a bystander during Riddle's reign of terror whilst Heartslabyul was suffering, he rightfully tells Riddle that crying won't erase the way he treated them before he overblotted (I was shocked that he had the guts to say that but I agreed with him - I stan a real one), he punches Riddle when he maliciously insults Yuu for no reason (that was the moment I fell for him. Yes I have a 5% hunch he did that also because he just wanted to punch him but the fact that it was Yuu's feelings getting hurt that made him actually lose it after everything else Riddle did to him is just everything to me), and he rightfully gets mad at Malleus when his prank made him think that his friends were dead.

I actually have a Yuu/OC that's so traumatised by the overblots that the only people they fully trust are Adeuce and Grim. They don't know if anyone that's nice to them are actually manipulative or will just use them in the future so they've developed serious trust issues and have PTSD from the actions of the overblots that they don't even look at them or greet them in the hallways. This is a Yuu that will forgive and never forget. It sounds petty and vindictive but I want them to suffer in their guilt whilst Yuu gets the support and help from Adeuce that they need.

Okay, I held off on responding to this because goddamn is it a long ask. Hold on, I gotta put this under the cut because it's too much, and my responding just makes it longer. Also, you read all the takes? That's impressive, considering I don't remember half of what I said. Spoilers for all overblots, including from the diasomnia chapter.

I'm just gonna summarize this in one simple statement. I know people aren't gonna agree, but here it is. The overblotted students deserved more punishments. As you said, yes, they're traumatized, but they were still conscious of their decisions before they overblotted. And they all did some questionable stuff before overblotting.

You literally said everything I was going to say. None of them are innocent. Even if they didn't overblot, their actions before the disaster were bad.

Idk, I feel like Yuu should be a little more acknowledged sometimes. I mean, yeah, ultimately, the characters do get close to Yuu and help them out. (1) Riddle helping Yuu investigate against Leona, (2) Leona helping Yuu get rid of Azul's contracts to free everyone, (3) Azul stepping in to help Yuu while they were stuck with Jamil, (4) Jamil getting them out of that dangerous overblot situation with Vil, (5) Vil helping fight against Idia and giving Yuu and co. a kiss, etc. But half of these felt like they had ulterior motives when they did this, and yeah, they treat Yuu differently, but we don't see that too much.

Ace is like one of the only real ones. The realest. Yeah, he was a massive jerk in the beginning, but that character development? In the beginning of the prologe, he was just being rude for no reason. But then, by the end of the prologe, he's actually begrudgingly friends with Yuu, and then towards the end of chapter one, as you said, he defends Yuu after Riddle made that unnecessary comment. Find yourself a bro like Ace (also because, as mentioned in other posts, he did not stand for Malleus' and Lilia's bs prank).

Honestly, Yuu should be super messed up mentally and emotionally by now. Probably even physically. Because of all the stuff they've gone through.

#shiny speaks #twisted wonderland

[jealusty--movedaccounts]

Adore You

PAIRINGS : minho × gn! reader

WORD COUNT : 2.8k and some change

GENRE : angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, slightly suggestive (very very slight)

WARNINGS : mentions of anxiety/depression (not descriptive), the world showing the reader the middle finger, established relationship, minho calls the reader bunny, lots of hugging and cuddling, minho is whipped, and a very respectful gentleman (except for when he gropes the reader but he's just a touchy feely person, okay), they're so in love, minho gets emotional and cries :(, also gets a little horny and almost pops a boner lmao.

lower case intended.

A/N : hi! here is some fluffy whipped minho for you. this fic is my first baby so please treat it well. feedbacks and reblogs are very highly appreciated! proofread like a thousand times, so we should be good as far as mistakes go. still let me know if anything needs fixing!

feel free to let me know what you liked and what you didn't, I'll try to change my future works accordingly. enjoy!

Main Masterlist

"min?"

"mm?"

"thank you"

"what for, bunny?"

"no one's ever done this to me."

"done what?"

"adored me like you do."

what a shitshow of a day.

but you've been through worse, right? you can get through this, right? right?

as it turns out,

wrong.

oh so very wrong.

the day was jinxed from the moment you got up on the metaphorical wrong side of the bed. being sleep deprived was nothing out of the ordinary for you, but even so, today it felt as if someone had replaced battery acid for your eye drops you put in the night prior.

great, now I have puffy eyes on top of my dark circles. how cute.

the geyser broke down so you had to take a freezing ice cold shower at 6 AM on a Tuesday morning in February (the weather reports later told you that it had been the coldest day in the last 3 winters in your country, by the way).

love that for me.

you somehow managed to teleport your shivering form into the kitchen. you had no motivation to make anything edible, so cereal it is. you got the milk out, not bothering to heat it up and dumped it into a bowl. lazily kicking open the lower cupboard, you snatched the cereal box, and tried shoving the cereal into the bowl to then quickly shove it down your throat and get this horrible thing called breakfast out of the way... only, nothing came out. the box was empty.

okay, wow. are you serious right now?

you were starting to get irritated.

doesn't matter. I don't like eating anything this early anyway. it's good. perfect, even. I'll just have my morning coffee and be on my way.

you were out of coffee pods. and when you begrudgingly went to make instant coffee, you realised you were out of vanilla syrup as well. already running late, grabbing coffee on your way to work was not an option either.

excuse you!? I can't function without caffiene in my system. I'm practically a zombie without it.

getting ready quickly, you slipped on your favourite pair of sneakers, not caring about your work place dress code.

it can go fuck itself for all I care. I deserve to be comfy at least if I'm not having any caffiene today.

all set, just as you locked your gate, and took the first step forward, you noticed a weight dangling off right underneath your sneakers. glancing down, you were met with the adorable sight of your sole barely hanging on to the base of your shoe.

not my favourite sneakers!

that was just the beginning of the most horribly horrible day in the history of horrible days of your horrible life. and no, you were not exaggerating. the subway was incredibly crowded and you did not get a seat, hanging off the grab bars, bumping against sweaty bodies.

why are they sweaty this early in the goddamn morning!? did they forget the concept of showers?

you were standing right in front of a dude seated on the train bench, shamelessly trying to look up your skirt. you told him off, taking off a part of your frustration on him, with a teenage girl looking up at you in awe. you got to work about a whooping 34 minutes late, which your boss rubbed in your face all day (yes, no round offs here, "you were precisely 34 minutes late. every minute counts after all!"). your best friend called in sick. the canteen was out of your favourite acai. the dry as fuck bread might as well have been sandpaper. you zoned out during the meeting and made a blabbering fool out of yourself when asked for an opinion.

so yeah, when you came back home with a pounding headache - we have the lack of caffiene to thank for that - feeling like shit, wanting to drown in your blankets, and sob yourself to sleep, it was pretty reasonable, you supposed.

so you did just that.

minho was on his way over to your apartment after you had not replied to any of his texts all day. he sent you the usual morning message you loved so much, but never got a response. it was so unlike you. he sent another "are you alright?" message a couple hours later, only to be met with radio silence. figuring you were busy, he didn't bother you any further.

so here he was in an Uber with your apartment as his destination.

deftly climbing out of the cab, he knocked on your door softly a few times. and when he didn't get a response, he pulled the copy of the key you had given him and let himself in. even though he had a copy, he always preferred to knock. partly because he wanted to respect your privacy, which was very valuable to you. he had no sense of personal space or privacy when it came to dating, but it became clear pretty early on in the relationship, that it was something you deeply cared about. and he would always respect what was dear to you. the other reason was that over the course of time, he had come to enjoy seeing you open the door for him - wrapping him in your warm embrace, the blueberry scent that you carried with you everywhere flooding his senses and calming any lingering tension in his muscles - versus getting in himself.

entering your cozy place, he was immediately alert, fire alarms going off in his head upon seeing the darkness engulfing your apartment. the living room, kitchen, the small study room to the side, everything was plunged in darkness. you always kept the lights on and had some heavenly candle burning, which he had come to find comfort in. you never kept the lights off. he couldn't think of any other time when he came over and you had them off. never. except that one time when...

holy shit!

he dashed to the bedroom, swinging the door open, panic coursing through his veins.

at first, he thought the bed was empty with just a ball of blankets tangled together. but as he softly padded across the room to get to the bed, he saw a fluffy head of hair poking out from underneath the edge of the blanket.

gingerly, he tugged it down only to come face to face with your tear stained face. a look of pure horror flicked across his face, as against his better judgement - because you had clearly been through something and were finally getting some sleep - he softly whispers,

"bunny?"

you didn't even stir, clearly exhausted. he felt bad for trying to disturb you from your slumber but he just had to know that his nightmare was not unfolding right in front of his eyes.

"hey, baby, you okay?" he gently nudged your elbow.

opening your eyes, peering up at him through tear drenched eyelashes, you go "minho?" voice groggy.

he gets into bed with you, sliding under the covers, wanting to comfort you. but he couldn't pull you into him just yet. keeping you at arms length, he mutters,

"you doing okay, bunny?" he studies your face and upon not seeing what he was fearing, relaxes a bit.

you don't say anything. instead, opting to slowly shift forward and sniffle into his chest.

"hey, hey, hey, talk to me, bunny. I'm here. I'm here. shhh." he started petting your hair, gliding his fingers through them, massaging your scalp just like he always did because it calmed you down.

"had the worst day." you barely mumble against his chest.

"it's okay. wanna talk about it?"

you slightly shake your head no, grip on him tightening.

"it's okay. everything's okay. I'm here now. we don't have to talk about it. just relax for me, yeah?"

you sigh at that, his hand in your hair lulling you back into the limbo between consciousness and sleep. your breathing evened out soon enough and you felt at peace at last, after the horrible fucking day - the day that could honestly go fucking fuck itself for fucking you over. the fucking irritati-

"woah, woah, bunny, what has you worked up again?" minho's words broke you out of the trance you didn't realise you'd slipped into.

"huh?"

"you're trembling." he wound the other arm underneath and around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest, his other hand still in your hair, his chin atop your head.

"you're with me, baby. you're safe."

as your shivering started to subside, he couldn't help but think back to that horrifying thought again. although he did somehow relax a bit initially, his mind was once again plagued with the possibility.. what if-

"no!" he didn't catch himself saying that out loud, until your head snapped up to look at him with bloodshot eyes. the sight broke his heart.

"are you okay, minho?" you whisper, somehow feeling selfish for not noticing until now that he seemed to be worked up too. as comforting as his hold on you was, you were just now realising his body was tense. did he have a bad day too?

as he looked down at you, he scanned your features, carefully trying to gauge out what was actually going on. he didn't see that look on your face. looking into your eyes, he didn't see that distant, far off, aloof emptiness that he once did - all those months ago. he kept staring at you for what felt like hours, eyes never staying at one place for long, nervously raking over every one of your features. but then why were the lights off when he came in? surely history isn't repeating itself. surely you're not-

"minho?"

he jumps at that, coming out of whatever rabbit hole he had gone into. you were looking at him with wide eyes, still bleary from tears and sleep. he found his resolve crumble. he really did want to give you space, to not rush you into telling him what was wrong, but the panic bubbling in his chest was making him downright nauseous with worry. so he says,

"you... you're no- you're not" he gulps "you..." he trails off, words forming an ugly lump in his throat he didn't seem to be able to swallow.

looking into his eyes, you could see the panic, the tension, the dread, his normally handsome face pale with terror.

as if a light bulb went off in your head, you suddenly knew exactly what he was thinking.

you lunge forward, knocking him back a little, clenching your hands into fists and balling up the material of the shirt in front of his chest, burying your face in his neck.

"no, baby, no. I'm okay. it's okay"

you could still feel him tense underneath your fingertips, so you pull your head from where it was nestled in his neck, looking straight into his eyes. steeling yourself, mustering up what little resolve you had left after the day, you spoke with as much assertion as you could,

"I'm not having an episode, minho. that was months ago," you stressed on the word "that was months ago, baby. I went to therapy, I got treated, I got well. it's all in the past now. I'm all healed."

"you know there's no such things as healed. we- we did go to therapy but it can resurface anytime." his voice was barely above a whisper, wobbling around the edges.

we.

he always did that. even back then, it was always we for him. "we were suffering", "we went to therapy", "we'll get through this together", "we're doing better now", "we got over it", "we're gonna stay strong"...

when you look up at him, you see the beginning of tears starting to form in his sombre eyes. your heart clenched.

leaning forward, you softly cupped his face with both hands, voice low but still confident, if only to assure him,

"I know. but you know we can tell when it's happening, right? I can tell that I'm fine. but even moreso, you can see that I'm fine, right? you were always able to tell just by looking at me for a second."

he examines your face once again. after a beat, he's eyes droop into a relaxed stance, his body going limp beside you.

"yeah, you're fine. b-but i.. it scared me. I was scared, baby. it was a very difficult time for us."

there it is, us.

"I- I just.." his voice broke, tears now steadily falling down his pretty, pretty face, dropping onto the mattress, taking your heart with them.

you moved toward him once again, mushing him against you this time, his body plaint in your hold, seeking your warmth.

"I know, baby, I know. it was. but its over now, okay?"

he continued sobbing quietly.

"minho, look at me" he did. you forced a pained smile "I'm smiling, see?"

he let out a huff at that, what could've been a chuckle if he wasn't so out of breath from crying.

"that's obviously fake."

"but if i was indeed.. uh- unwell", you didn't know how else to put it, "I won't be able to fake it either."

which was true. if you were back to that state of mind where you felt breathless in your own skin - a place you might have still been dwelling in, if it wasn't for your boyfriend - you wouldn't even have the energy to talk, let alone try to fake a smile.

he just hummed and went back to snuggle his head in your chest.

"Mr. lee, are you using this as an excuse to cope a feel?" you attempted to lighten the mood.

this time, he actually did chuckle. the sound warmed your heart, healing all the exhaustion from your body.

"do I need an excuse to grope you, bunny?" he was back to his teasing self apparently, shamelessly dragging his hand down to your ass, cupping it and squeezing. hard.

you laughed at that, pecking his lips gently and let yourself relax, his hand still on your ass by the way.

you don't how long you lay there like that with him, listening to the quiet sounds of his breathing, once again floating in the blissful clutches of sleep, albeit, a lot more relaxed now.

and while you were still half awake, you felt something warm, and soft on the top of your head. the feeling travelled down to your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, warming you. it was only when it ghosted against your lips did you realise that it was minho peppering your face with doting kisses. in your dazed state, you could faintly make out his hands brushing your hair out of your face, tucking them behind your ear, tenderly caressing your back.

still more than half asleep, you murmur with your eyes closed, a stupid lazy smile on your face,

"min?"

he smiled at the nickname, the look in his eyes growing even fonder. you never call him that. that nickname is reserved for when you're either trying to act cute to get something from him or during your sleepy incoherent mumbling, apparently. he keens at that, heart fluttering, refusing to stay in one place.

while he's busy swooning, you call out again, pouting, with the same goddamn nickname, sounding entirely too sweet and cute for a grown ass woman. it's almost a whine and is enough to make his head spiral down the gutter. how you whine when you're under him, looking up at him with wide doe-eyes, your face contorted in pleasure, his di-

snapping out of his train of dirty thoughts about an unassuming you, he looks down and is met with your closed eyelids, looking so peaceful and fragile in his hold, and immediately wills himself to calm the fuck down. how humiliating would it be to pop a boner right now. taking a deep breath all he manages to say is,

"mm?"

"thank you."

"what for, bunny?"

"no one's ever done this to me." you mindlessly mumble, not really answering his question, clearly out of it due to your sleepy muddle.

"done what?"

"kissed me like this while I'm asleep. adored me like you do."

his heart swelled at that. wounding around you even more, he spoke into your hair,

"you've got me now. I adore you, bunny. so much."

blissful in your sleepy haze, you shift closer, drifting off into the distant slumber, knowing that you were adored. by a person you adored just as much.

Main Masterlist

© JEALUSTY 2022. All rights reserved. Copying, editing, reposting and translating any of my works are not allowed. Please do not claim any of my works as your own.

#lee know fluff #lee know angst #lee know x reader #lee know fanfic #kpop fluff #kpop angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #stray kids imagine #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #skz imagines #stray kids fanfic #skz scenarios #skz fluff #skz angst #x reader #my writing

[unclewaynemunson]

Remember the Wingman Wayne AU? I decided to write a sequel :D (it can be read separately tho, so this is a new part 1 of 8!) | also on ao3 now

'Robbie!'

Steve startles her by loudly drumming his hands onto the counter and she turns around to look at him.

'Why are you here? Did you forget it's your day off today?' She slams a pile of tapes on the counter, right next to his hand, making him jerk it away reflexively.

'Watch out for my hands!'

'Then stop being so annoying!'

He sighs dramatically, but ceases his incessant drumming and instead leans his elbows on the counter.

'Would you like to go on a date with the most perfect girl in the world?' he asks, sounding like he's presenting some kind of game show and about to reveal which prize she has won.

Robin wrinkles her nose. 'Why do you sound like you're scamming me?'

'I'm not scamming you!' he exclaims in an indignant tone. 'I literally have the perfect girl to set you up with, trust me!'

'And what's the catch?'

'No catch.'

'Are you absolutely one hundred percent sure about that?'

'Yes!' he calls out in an exasperated voice.

She squints her eyes at him, but decides to give him the benefit of the doubt – for now, at least.

'Alright, I'm interested. What's her name?'

'Uhh... I – can't tell you. It's a blind date.'

She squints even harder, making Steve's face almost disappear from her vision.

'You don't know her name, do you?'

'Uhh...'

'Steve.' She sighs. 'What did you do? Did you get scammed?'

'No!' He raises his hands. 'No scam, alright? I just – I forgot to ask her name.'

'Okay, so in what uncivilized gutter did you pick up this presumably perfect lesbian who doesn't even properly introduce herself to the guy who wants to set her up with what may possibly be the love of her life?'

'I haven't actually met her,' Steve admits. 'No, no, listen!' he quickly adds when Robin opens her mouth. 'Remember Eddie's uncle, Wayne? The one who set me up with the love of my life?'

Robin nods. 'Impossible to forget, you talk about him constantly when you're not talking about Eddie. It's weird and mildly creepy.'

'I can't help that the man is fucking awesome!'

God, it really is too easy to get Steve all huffy.

'Okay, so I haven't actually met this girl, but Wayne has! And he thinks she's the perfect match for you, and me and Eddie are living proof that he's always right about that shit. So you should definitely go on a date with her. She's a reporter, that's cool, right?'

'Very cool,' Robin replies blankly. 'And how much did you tell him about me? Because I never met the man, dingus, so forgive me if I'm a little skeptical about how he knows I'd be such a perfect match for this mystery nameless reporter girl.'

'He knows enough about you, alright? Can you please just trust his judgment on this one? Worst case scenario, it'll cost you a few hours of your time. Best case scenario, you'll find your true love and live happily ever after.'

That is actually an annoyingly strong argument – well, not the happily-ever-after shit, that's way over the top, but Robin does have nothing to lose here; even though she doesn’t know Eddie's uncle, she trusts the man enough to believe that he wouldn't set her up with some creepy psychopath. So she might as well go for it and see what happens. She has to admit she's curious about the girl. It's not like she has a huge range of queer women to choose from around Hawkins, so it would be rather stupid to waste this chance without even trying, right? It's been a while since she actually dated. She broke up with Vickie months ago and her lack of dates has less to do with not being ready to move on and more with the fact that she's a lesbian living in goddamn Hawkins, Indiana.

'Alright, I'm in,' she decides, causing Steve to cheer and pump his fist in the air like some gross straight dudebro.

'YES!' he yells out. 'Alright, I'll call Wayne to let him know that you're in. And you should be ready for a romantic dinner at Benny's tomorrow at 7 o'clock. I'll take your evening shift, no need to thank me.'

'A romantic dinner at Benny's?' Robin repeats in an incredulous voice. 'Are you sure I wanna meet this girl if that's peak romance for her?'

Steve excited smile drops so fast it's almost comical. 'It was Wayne's idea, okay,' he says, and it sounds slightly more defensive than necessary. 'The man lives in a trailer park, cut him some slack.'

And something about that is oddly cute – both the fact that Steve is so ready to defend Mr. Munson and the idea of this middle-aged straight man picking out Benny's Burgers as a go-to lesbian date location.

'Okay, I won't complain,' she's quick to tell Steve. 'The burgers there are impeccable.'

'That's the spirit!' Steve's slightly too intense excitement is back on again. 'Tomorrow, 7. Be there or be prepared to stay alone forever.'

'That's a bit much,' she mumbles as Steve walks out of the store, turning around at the door to shoot finger guns at her while crashing into that one Fast Times cardboard cutout that's somehow always in his way. She snickers while turning her attention back to the tapes she had been sorting, trying not to think too hard about what’ll be waiting for her tomorrow evening.

Pt2

#don't mind me rambling about stranger things #robin buckley #steve harrington #fruity ficlet

[illegiblewords]

Serious talk about meta under the cut.

I don't know who might need to hear it, but fwiw mental flexibility is a huge part of analysis (and interacting with other humans lol). You need to be able to account for multiple possibilities when examining a work, or understanding a social exchange. You need to be able to separate what is objective fact from your own subjective interpretation and judgment. The most negative interpretation is not automatically the most worthwhile or true. Someone throwing accusations around in-line with their own worst interpretations does not guarantee those accusations are warranted. You are not a bad or stupid person for disagreeing. Shit needs to withstand scrutiny. I don't always strike the right balance myself. I do the best I can but I'm definitely not perfect. Tbh I'm not beyond pettiness either--although I try to keep that out of actual analysis lol. There have been times I've griped to friends privately or blogged about how I felt (sans tags, with spoiler blocks so people can opt out). I've griped recently. I'm bound to gripe again in the future. Some level of griping is inevitable imo and I figure no one is 100% immune.

All that said, even if someone’s take isn't canon AND even if it's something I really dislike--I'd personally rather people follow their passions anyway. Hands down. I could be in the middle of a rant and my answer would still be that the subject of my frustration gets to exist. I'm not the boss and odds are we're going with different versions in our own heads. Discouraging another fan from creating due to my preferences or narrative approach would horrify me. I've seen fandoms where gatekeeping like that killed the creative community and it was fucking awful.

Not everyone is confident in their own judgment. Not everyone faced with a pissed off person trying to use lore and accusations like clubs will feel okay continuing with their own vision. Elitism and manipulation (especially through rhetoric) can be present within analysis. People are not being taught how to recognize those things properly. Analysts aren't always aware or invested enough to even be careful. It’s legit easy to get caught up in ideas or feelings to the point of forgetting about other people’s, and adjusting to account for alternate approaches takes some work. For me at least, I think having a 'no insults' policy and being super careful when it comes to absolute claims (assertions not qualified by 'I think' or 'it could be argued') helps.

Anyway. Just because a person calls something ‘meaningless’ doesn't make it meaningless. Someone pooh-poohing an observation you made doesn't make your observation less true or important. Employing a literary term doesn't mean that individual actually understands the term, how it works, or how to apply it. Which is to say nothing of romantic chemistry or whatever. I encourage readers to extrapolate on this. ‘Shallow’ could apply as much as ‘meaningless’. Denying parallels exist by itself doesn’t actually negate those parallels. Your version of a character may not be the same as the fan next to you’s and that difference doesn't have to detract. There's more I could say on the subject (I've edited out a lot) but basically--just because another fan isn't into what you're doing doesn't automatically make what you're doing wrong, immoral, shoddy, or otherwise less.

Seriously, vet shit. Question the entire premise an analyst tries to establish then decide for yourself if it holds water. Turn over word choices and assertions in your head before deciding if they're appropriate. Do it to me too. I don't care if someone is the holy goddamn emperor of analysts. Just because a person says something is good or bad, true or false, whatever the hell doesn't make it so. Just because a person uses a technical term doesn't mean they're discussing it effectively. Quality of argument matters beyond the packaging it’s wrapped in. It's important to protect yourself from people whose priority is enforcing their own preferences, including dismissing things they aren't partial to.

I just don't want anyone shamed silent man. Not even people whose takes drive me up the fucking wall. Neither I nor any other analyst is an authority here. And there are people who are absolutely ready to take advantage of other people’s insecurities to assert themselves. Might not even be malicious, just indifferent.

For me, analysis feels kind of like uncovering a dinosaur skeleton. I want to share the cool and exciting things I find with other people. Sometimes I might be sorting out what my own thoughts and feelings are. It's also possible to examine why you're uncomfortable with something, or why you love something another person hates, while making very clear what is YOUR READING and not THE READING. Offering a variety of possibilities is very different from presenting yourself as the only correct one. One note at the end when everything else was insulting and intolerant is like a band-aid over a wound.

EDIT: As a last point, that I'm throwing in just-in-case. If anyone reading this thinks they may have overreached and done stuff I've mentioned + feels shitty about it… that's still not the end of the world. It’s okay. This is hard stuff to learn and I really don't think anyone's perfect at it. Worth the effort though. Just gotta take a deep breath, acknowledge you're a fallible human same as everyone else, and do the best you can going forward. Life goes on.

#saw one that horrified me a bit recently #involved a combination of overreaching + insults + purity culture #I can totally imagine buying in and being seriously fucked up by it when I was younger #I don’t want that happening to anyone else #it's okay to talk about NOTPs man but there are more and less responsible ways to do that

[celestialholz]

Normal/Flying/Enigma - or 'Larry is a goddamn Christmas present, and here's what I found when I unwrapped him'

... Fucking Larry, huh? Mad guy. Absolutely unhinged set of pixels. He's got as many interpretations as days in the year - autism, depression, the working man stereotype, 'just a dude', to name a few - but... and I know this is a bold claim, but I think I've got him figured out. I've already meta'd him before on a smaller scale, and concluded that Mister Quiet, Calm and Collected here is actually a secret showman who loves crowd approval, so let's carry on.

Let's work our way under his skin, yeah? You just sit there and eat onigiri king, take a well-deserved break.

Let's start with the obvious: Larry has no clue who he is. He gives you the Facade TM, tells you he hopes you have no need to put on the same front as him, and then during his rematch says this on why he loves Normal types:

... Which is all well and good, right? Fair, valid, pretty regular guy - except oh no wait, hang on, he is literally the least ordinary trainer in this franchise.

This right here is a perfect example of the duality of Larry already, and we've just started. He's a showman, an exhibitionist in the Pokemon arena, and he duel-serves as Elite Four and gym leader.

Just to put that into context for those fans who are newer than my veteran ass, no one does that. Even those who got promoted later - Lance, Koga and Wallace, unless I'm forgetting anyone else - have never wielded two titles simultaneously. And even in their promotions, Lance, Koga and Wallace keep their damn types. They don't master a whole new one, at the highest of battling levels, on a goddamn whim because their boss said to. Whether he likes it or not, by the established standards of this series, Larry is a fucking genius. Even those with mixed teams don't hold type mastery to this degree. Whether or not you personally found him easy or difficult to defeat either time is not the point - literally, no one's doing it like he is. He trains four entire new team members, between his three jobs (because oh yeah, he's got another one), to the late fifties/early sixties in levels and acts like it ain't shit. That's endgame levels to anyone else, the culmination of their eighteen-badge journey or their literal years of training - for Larry, it's fucking LEISURE TIME. Man's doing this in front of Netflix.

... And we're supposed to believe he's NORMAL? And the thing is, I don't even think he's gaslighting us, at least not consciously - he genuinely believes this. This is his normal.

No wonder Geeta sticks him in the gym right next to Area Zero. 90% sure he could solo the place if you gave him a few hours to go and catch the right team. Don't even know what we're doing here, to be quite honest. Might as well go home and hug the Skwovet in my own lounge, the adorable little bastard. What the honest fuck.

My man, take a look in that mirror as you munch those delicious rice balls. There ain't a single thing regular about you. Larry seems to have no clue that his life is anything but standard - he walks around wearing a facade. His penultimate mon, which I've covered the significance of before with Flapple and Hassel (and with Larry himself here), is Staraptor, a lone wolf, who leaves the flock upon evolving to live alone, and yet his ace Flamigo only functions well in a group. Just a quick compare-and-contrast between the dex entries of them both here:

... Excuse me whilst I error 404. He's got so little clue who he is, even his team has personality conflicts.

Thing is, right... if he walks around wearing a facade, why does he? In fact, whilst we're on the subject of his team, why doesn't he take his clearly vacation-themed team ON A VACATION?

Look at these guys.

Palm trees, tropical birds, blue skies with clouds, and... well, Staraptor's clearly his favourite. Man's got a holiday-themed squad, which leads us to another core point:

Larry doesn't drown himself in work because he likes it, he does it because he doesn't have anything else.

Logically, Larry must make bank. We don't know what the gym leaders get paid - though for the first time, we know that they definitely do, thanks to this:

(Thank you for that little screenshot, @prince-kallisto. <3)

And not only does he get paid from this, but he's in the Elite Four - every sensible conclusion says that this man has to be one of the highest-paid trainers in Paldea. And he's got a third job that we don't even know about. Bearing in mind that every other adult NPC in this game seems to get along just fine with one or two jobs, I don't think we need to remotely worry about Larry's finances.

And he doesn't particularly like any of his jobs, so he doesn't do them for love... and if he doesn't take any time off, he must be drowning in potential time to take off...

So, why doesn't he go on holiday? Why does he drown himself in work he dislikes when he has no financial need to; why does he live a lie; why doesn't he find out who he is?

Well, there's only one thing that really connects all that together, isn't there?

Larry's life is a void because he's alone.

When people are lost, they throw themselves into work to find purpose. What's the point of going on holiday when you've got no one to go with? This man does embody a stereotype perfectly, but it's probably not the one you think. It's much simpler - 'money can't buy you happiness.'

He tells you about this loneliness himself, in a way.

Larry has normal and regular interests, in a world where he is anything but, and people only want to be surprised. No one gets him, whether because they're not on his battling level, or because he's too ordinary. And when no one gets you... how are you supposed to get yourself? However introverted we are, we experience ourselves partly through others. He has the Elite Four, who are 100% a found family, but... the problem with that is that they accept him at face value because they love him. Which is amazing and all, we adore that, but it means no one gets under his skin.

And the further problem of that is that he's no happier deep-down. And that's not on his colleagues, not at all. Rika is relaxed and easygoing, Poppy is a child, and Hassel... well, Hassel is drama, Hassel is married. Hassel has his own perfect love story already. Hassel has already seen someone a little bit like Larry before - directionless, depressed, unsure of his own self - and he went and promised him forever anyway. (Hello Brassius, I see you king. Be careful on that windmill.)

... And that... yeah, that's kind of the crux of it all. Larry needs him someone very much like Hassel; someone who sees through every layer of facade, someone who accepts. (... I realise this is me right now, and yes, I do volunteer as tribute. Come here, you beautiful fucking not-normal man. <3)

Essentially, what I'm saying is...

Larry needs a partner... and I don't mean another Pokemon one.

But, as sad a conclusion as that is... he's learning, by the end of your time with him.

(Can we talk about the chef lady in the background, by the way, who is ignoring her TikTok to listen to his conclusion? What a sweetheart.)

We've taught him to open himself up a bit, to start embracing the new and the different. We've started to help this man, and if that isn't the most worthy thing my Nuzlocke son Juan here has done in his adventure through Paldea that wasn't helping a sick dog, I don't know what is.

As much as they annoy us sometimes, happiness is other people. Other people who see your soul, and smile. Perhaps he doesn't even need a romantic partner... perhaps he just needs the world's best friend.

But whatever it is that he needs... let him go on holiday, Game Freak. Let him be him, and very happy because of it. Give him a Hassel who isn't Hassel, and a month off at a certain DLC festival to spend with them. Larry exists in a club of one - he's too talented in the same breath as he's too average.

(Personally, I think he should take Katy, but... hey, that's me and my vanillacupcakes agenda. And the fact her ace is a Normal type who likes dessert.)

#larryposting #elite four leader #gym leader larry #mentions of all sorts of souls including: #hassel #brassius #poppy #rika #geeta #katy #vanillacupcakeshipping #and even a dash of #ephemeralartshipping #because y'all know my MO #pokemon scarlet and violet #meta #... why does metaing this man ALWAYS MAKE ME SAD

[frogchiro]

omgomgomg imagine inexperienced feral!kaeya with a khaenri'ahn reader who was actually raised with her khaenri'ahn family too. i want her to be horrified when kaeya asks her what she's doing when she's scenting him, and biting his neck playfully !! or just rolling around kaeya's very bad makeshift nest, purring and pretending to be content when in reality she's so fucking itchy right now and the blankets arent placed right and it doesnt smell like kaeya at all and holy shit are those fucking ripped out notebook papers --

leave my poor boy alone😭 also the ripped out notebook papers stuffed inside the already shit nest i'm-

and i imagine kaeya to be completely oblivious and confused too?? like? he'd have the 'head empty no thoughts' face and would let out a tiny 'mprr?' sound as he feels you glomp him from behind. now that you're lying on his back when he was relaxing in his...'nest' he feels the deep purrs rumbling through your chest and on his back and while he greatly appreciates the affections as sudden as they are, he's still a bit...confused? it's just the way you're behaving; the purrs, the nuzzles, the neck rubbing and biting, don't get him wrong he loves it! and deep down he feels the need to return the affection and yet...

'what are you doing love?'

kaeya felt you immediately stop your affections and he couldn't help the tiny keen he let out as he looked back at you, the beautiful blue and molten gold eyes trying to convey both his confusion and longing.

you on the other hand remained perfectly still, were your intentions really not obvious enough? the blue haired man is your mate! it's obvious that you had to scent and mark him good! of course you'd still have to redo the monstrosity that your mate called a nest but-

it's only then when it hit you and you were kinda taken aback by your own obliviousness; how could you forget? after all kaeya was raised by normal humans, the ragnvindrs, while you had the 'luxury' to be raised by your khaen'rhian parents, even if it were hundreds of years after the cataclysm that you were born you still got to be exposed to the nature of your people with all the quirks and behaviors.

you remained silent but your frigid posture relaxed and a rumble could be heard as it escaped your lips and quickly an answering chirp came from kaeya. you got off of him but closed the distance between you as you nuzzled your head with his and you smiled when you felt your partner's curious little sniffs as if he was subconsciously checking for his scent on you.

'it's...really nothing kae, don't worry about it. but if i were to suggest something, how about we reorganize our nest a little?' you offered with a smile that only grew in size when kaeya tilted his head like a confused puppy.

'what do you mean reorganize? i think it's perfect, you even rolled around in it earlier!' the man accused you with a playful squint in his eyes as you started chuckling at his antics while picking at a stray ripped paper sheet.

'yes i know i did darling but...i'm pretty sure that a half ripped notebook, empty pillowcases and-is that a mug?' you inquired, fascinated and slightly disturbed at the sight of the offensive piece of glass sticking out like a sore thumb among the various materials that your nest was built up with.

at least you knew where to start now yeah? first of all, the goddamn nest; then, you can teach and show your mate how to properly take care of each other. you feel giddy at the prospect of endless nuzzles and cuddle sessions, after all you need to be thorough yeah~?

#kin speaks #asks #interactions #this turned out much more fluffy than i thought😭 #also i'm sorry if the dialogue turned out stiff and unnatural #i'm still having problems with writing it properly ;; #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #kaeya alberich #kaeya x reader

[butmakeitgayblog]

So I'm relatively new to the fandom, and during my stay in this rabbit hole, that is, Clexa, I've got a few questions that I'm hoping you could answer :)

Why is everyone here pro-Lexa? Like don't get me wrong I absolutely love Lexa as a character and Alycia is a queen, but why all the hate towards some of the other characters, like Bellamy? I've never watched The 100 the whole way through (literally exited outta the show the second Lexa died), even then, it's been years since I watched it. Did I miss something while I was binge-watching, or was my teenage brain at the time just too immature to realize he was a total jackass..? Also, it's not just Bellamy, I've also seen hate for Bob, the actor who plays him. Which brings me to another question: does this fandom not like Eliza? I always see so much support when Alycia has an upcoming project or is posting Instagram updates but nothing for Eliza? Again, no judgment for the Alycia love because I completely understand why everyone here is head over heels in love with that girl but I just wanted to know, has Eliza ever done anything wrong? Or have I just conveniently only stumbled upon Alycia stans on this app?

Anyway, a totally unrelated note but since I'm here… may I just say ma'am, your writing is the bomb diggity. Like the perfect blend of humor, sexiness, angst, and fluff, THE GODDAMN FLUFF. Genius, you're a genius, like a mad scientist of Clexa fanfic. Hope you keep doing what you're doing, my friend. Take your time though, and don't listen to those ignorant anons that are crawling around yelling "wHy ArE yOu TaKiNg So LoNg To UpDaTe?" Thank you for writing for the Clexa fandom! ❤️

First I wanna say thank you for the sweet words and reading, that means so much to me 🥹💕 not to be a nerd but I screenshot that for one of my worse imposter syndrome days lol

Long post so you can read under the cut. Long time clexas you can just skip if you want because honestly I got annoyed all over again just typing it and you know it all already 🥴

Now right off the top, you don't have to hate Bellamy if you don't want to. It's not like that's a prereq for being a clexa, so if you like him, like him and don't worry about what anyone says. He's a fictional character so anyone who gets intense over someone liking him I think needs to take a walk.

But the reason why a lot of Clexas, myself included, hate him is somewhat of a two part answer. The main reason being is that his character is trash 😅. I mean I'm not gonna dissect every little bit of canon but the main points for me at least, since I can't speak for anyone else, are that he was constantly fucking up literally everything. He gets to earth, proclaims "tHeRe aRe nO RuLeS" and then,,, immediately declares himself the leader and starts forcing people to follow what he says. He literally almost let Clarke fall into a pit of spikes, tried to handcuff her and keep her hostage "for her own good", he spearheaded the whole thing with taking off their wristbands, HE BACKED PIKE, participated in the massacre of a peaceful army sent to protect skaikru, he constantly shamed and blamed Clarke for everything that ever went wrong even when a lot of that stuff was either the best solution in a bad situation OR was an indirect fallout from something fucked up that skaikru had done. The sweaty little fucker was always trying to control/manipulate Clarke and skaikru and his own damn sister despite the fact that everything he ever planned himself turning out to be: A Terrible Idea. Basically the dude sucked but was held up on spindles of glorification as being this heroic uwu soft boy that wasn't actually supported by any one damn thing in canon when you actually look at it objectively. And I'm sure I'm even forgetting stuff. The dude just sucked.

Agian, that's my own two cents.

The other reason being, it's rollover from having to deal with blarks. Their constant harassment and shoving their fanon, non-existent ship down everyone's throat, while being entitled little brats throwing tantrums about them not happening at every turn has led from what probably would've been just a mild distaste for a character for most into loathing even the name. Understand I'm not saying the word harassment lightly. They were awful for years. Death threats and homophobia, spamming inboxes with hateful messages and sending awful pictures/memes etc. One even sent EJT a dick pic with Blark written on their penis. They sent memes non-stop about Lexa dying when people were still reeling from it. I'm not saying all Blarks are bad because they're not, but there was enough harassment and viciousness from a large enough and loud enough faction that at a certain point it becomes a blanket feeling of animosity toward the entire ship and everything that follows it.

As for disliking EJT. In reality, she used to be the fandom favorite. I mean she was our girl because she used to champion us and was hilarious about it. Go look up old cons and interviews with her. She was funny and great. Once upon a time E was our biggest cheerleader and dealt with A Lot of abuse and harassment from The Other fandom for it. I'm talking body shaming, slut shaming, comments about her intelligence, sexual harassment and trolling her about her boyfriends and very descriptive messages about how they wanted her to harm herself. The list goes on. And no one, especially not Bob who was the golden boy for The Other fandom, ever said a word in her defense. Never told his fans to stop or that he condemned it. Ever. Not once. That never sat well with clexas, but you can't control what other people do.

We had her back anyway. So, it was whatever. Gross, but whatever.

And then she married Bob. Which, and Blarks cannot seem to wrap their heads around this fact, literally no cared about. She could've just married him and kept being the same person and no one would've cared. In fact, the way this fandom loved her, at first everyone was like hmmm weird and sudden but good for her I guess! Be happy!

But then Bob's ex came forward with very serious allegations about her past relationship with him. She released a statement that you can easily find online and from that it painted a very dark picture of things that involved both him and EJT. As I'm someone who believes victims, I have no reason not to believe her, and since the very bizarre (non) rebuttal that EJT posted in reply made zero sense, that was that. It changed the lens of how a lot of people started looking at her.

Which leads me to the charities.

Hear a collective Clexa sigh.

They're a saga in themselves, but to sum it up as short as possible, EJT had been a part of a children's organization for YEARS that she herself helped set up. Clexas raised a lot of money for this charity through fundraising and selling fanart and we really cared about it. And literally within months of them being married, he became involved in it, and then shortly thereafter, magically they both had to "step away from it" for dubiously explained reasons. (Which, if you read his ex's statement, logical deduction of what probably actually happened will make more sense than what they claimed, and not in a good way.) Sensibly, they started recieving backlash from supporters because, again a lot of people had been helping this charity for years and all of a sudden she was just gone from it and all the projects were halted. I'm not blaming solely her for anything but to just cut and run like she did was sus to say the least.

So to steer away from that shitshow, they started another charity. With a bunch of right-wing MAGA nuts. Yeah. They weren't open or transparent about anything, no records of where any of the money was going, iirc no real legitimate charity registration/tax documentation that anyone could find (and in the US that's all public info sooooooo). It was a total clusterfuck that people started calling them out on from the start. At first they tried to ignore it and just keep collecting money by doing these ridiculous cameos as cash grabs, but just like the first charity, after a while (and a lot of initially unaccounted for money being raised) the poor little darlings just had to "step away for mental health reasons."

Which I would accept and support wholeheartedly because mental health is extremely serious... except funnily, they didn't stop doing the cameos. They kept doing those and charging their fans money to listen to them blather on about made up ~behind the scenes info~ about Blark stuff and it being super secretly canon but for a million reasons that they don't know and can't name, stopped it from happening. Claims of love scenes and kisses that have never been backed up by evidence (like a script) or corroborated by a single person involved in the show. But it's totally true guys, just trust them bro. So yeah, they've kept doing all that. Just... not giving the money they're charging for the cameos to their "charity."

So that's the meat of it, I might be forgetting things and smudging some finer details because it's been a long while ago, but I think you can get the gist. People don't like Bob because he was an ass to fans and EJT herself before them even getting married. He's said ableist things and quoted racists trying to sound smart and never once apologized for anything. He's been accused of abuse in his personal life and has never addressed it, only made his wife write a terrible fanfiction-esque response to appease his ardent followers. And frankly, she pissed off her fans. Once she married him, she completely flipped her personality from a funny charity doing, body positivity leading, cheerleading about "Clexa are soulmates" and "Lexa is the love of Clarke's life" girl, to doing personal cash grabs constantly while spewing all this made up Blark garbage that directly contradicts things they've both said in the past to please her faithful paying cameo fans (read his fans).

It's all left a lot of people with a bad taste in their mouth, to say the least.

And ya best believe if Alycia does some crazy shit, I'll turn on her too 🤷‍♀️ but honestly I'm not too worried about that cuz the girl is a cryptid who you literally can't pay to go to cons or do cameos

#anon #long post #again #not interested in starting discourse I'm just answering an ask as I see it

[cool-person-yey]

Hey folks, so I was a bit bored and thought I'd be cool to take some notes of my thoughts while I was watching the first episode of tmagp

Most of them are nonsense but that's the way I think so

obviously, there will be spoilers for the new tmagp episode ( I'm tagging it tmagp spoilers ofc) so I'd you didn't watch it, go watch it now cmon man

welp, here they are

TMAGP SHOW NOTES!!!11!;1

• Oh dang 44 minutes ???

• ohhhh ominous music :)))

• HI ALEX

• HOLY SHITTT

• RUSTY QUILL PRESENTS THE MAGNUS PROTOCOL LETS FUCKIN GO

•* printer not functioning noises*

• not even 5 minutes in and I'm already recognizing some voices

• Alice <<<333

•BONES ARE A BIG LIE MADE BY MILK TO KEEP YOU BUYING IT that's what I've saying

• I also function on coffee and spite. and social media drama. as a treat.

• sorry mate you deserve to be booed

• " or they finally kill me " oh boy

• ooooohhhh Gwen!!!!

• " I'm your cool sister, Gwen's your uncool sister, Lena's the emotionally distant mother, Teddy is the uncle that just got another job and Collin's the grumpy IT manager" just. this. idk. just

•Alice is funny and I'll die on this hill thank you

• not the nepotism

• the spooky tape recorders already started or is teddy just forgetful??? hmmmm

• mold you like clay

• Alice is my favorite character actually

• Windows 95? oh wait no

• "what does it do?" "crashes mostly"

• " is that legal?" " probably. We do work for the government. sorta"

• finally a filing system that's a least a bit understandable(???)

• " The coolest person *left* in London" the hell you did to the rest of them Alice? 🤨

•wait what

• smashing it with a hammer would fix a lot of problems. supernatural or not.

• Collin is a mood

•Norris, Chester and Augustus huh

• WAIT WHAT

• NEVER HEARING WHO

• WHAT

• CEMETERY???

• THE HELL

• ARTHUR!!!!

• took him away from you??? this is concerning

• oh no,,,,,

• Darla?

• it spoke! using another person's voice— oh no

• discolored skin? mismatched features? oh no

• " some of him:)))" oh no

• shit

• being afraid of someone ( or some parts) of someone you loved. we're starting well

• Yeah there are worse ones buddy

• oh cmon it ain't that bad just put the goddamn word in there

• "you traitor" love me a dramatic queen///

• OHHH SHE'S GOING INTO THE DIRECTOR'S OFFICE ( the equivalent of it in a office job I suppose)

• ohh performance review okay

• look kids, sometimes you gotta deliver a work that's just okay instead of ABSOLUTELY perfect.

• so Gwen's the overachiever, got it.

• she's saying that as if Alice hasn't been shitting on everyone there already lmao

• oh we wish it was that easy

• oh the deja vu

• " what do you actually want" " your job" damn she's bolder than I thought lmao

• I wish I could talk back to people like that

• damn Collin's pissed

• Alice being a menace we love to see it

• " I'm a vegetarian" deadpan

• top 10 awkward conversations

• Collin is the most relatable of them all

• " a bit bleak" is an understatement

• clack clack clack

• you really need to know bro's backstory on his first day?

• is there a bet going on on who has the worst awful backstory to explain being there. that'd be funny I think

• buddy that's the worst place to try getting back to your feet but ok

• MAGNUS INSTITUTE RUINS LETS GO

•" what's the deal with the Magnus Institute" well. see. there's a lot of deals.

• alright? just a semi-normal conversation as of now

• nope

• yea the institute does that to ya

• " a cool vibe " yeah buddy

• "offices like little cells" oh you'd be surprised

• ARCHIVE HE SAID ARCHIVE!!!!!

• oh no the symbols

• strange stains mmnn

• an,,,,, empty box?

• photographic distortion. oh boy. oh boy.

• yea guys don't steal stuff from spooky sightseeing places especially if they could be yknow. cursed.

• are we going to be listening to ppl fighting on the internet rn or

• IMAGE REMOVED??? STAY ABOVE GROUND??? OH NO

• EYES????

• GORE???? OH BOY,,,,

• and the thread was locked. well damn.

• a blast from the past huh

• " is a bad name" " so is Gwendolyn"

• hmm static

• phone

• "you get a job and I got a victim"

• that seems like a reasonable theory tbh

• cleaning toilets actually helps people

• Sam noodle arms confirmed

• " to new beginnings" " with old friends" * clank*

• oh great more little noises

• more noises

• OHHH

• find who???? WHO????

• oh you got to be kidding me

• more ominous music hmmmm

• The Magnus Protocol is a podcast FUCK YEAH IT SURE IS!

Phew, that was a lot. thank you if you read all of this lmao

edit: fixed some misspellings, if there any left please do warn me! my heading's not the best and auto-correct is a bitch (especially if you use two languages lmao)

#tmagp spoilers #tmagp #the magnus protocol #just my silly thoughts #I should do rhis more often actually lol

[l1tw1ck]

Arranging the Perfect Marriage

FTM!Prince!Ajax x Top!King! Reader

Series: YRHS | AFAB language used

Contains: Non-Con, Manhandling, Brat Taming, Oral, Hair Pulling, Daddy Kink, Eating Cum Off the Floor, Humiliation, Voyeurism, Spanking, Asphyxiation, Corruption

Words: 2,630 | Reader Discretion is Advised

──────────────────

The Tsaritsa had decided to establish peace with other nations, deciding that a marriage between Snezhnaya and another kingdom would create new allies.

As the least courted child of the Tsaritsa, it's no surprise that Ajax would be the one to get married off to another kingdom. It's not that no one wanted to marry Ajax, far from it, he just has a horrible attitude that no one wants to deal with.

──────────────────

There's only one man that Ajax ever calmed down in front of, but unfortunately for the prince, that man had no intentions of marrying him or anyone for that matter. Even so, he was set on saving himself for the wonderful king he met a year ago. He decides to amplify his bad attitude at every meeting for future marriages to keep himself pure for that king.

It all went well until Ajax met you.

When you entered the room, Ajax almost gave up on the plan out of fear. He was intimidated by you but that gave him all the more reason to go through with it.

"Thank you for traveling all the way over here, I trust you had a safe trip?" You introduce yourself and outstretch your hand to him. He ignores you and sits at the end of the table.

You sit across from him and try to make conversation. "I know this is probably hard for you so I'll forget what you just did."

"What do you know about being forced into marriage? You were probably jumping at the chance to marry some young royalty." Ajax rolls his eyes. "I'm not going to marry you."

"You should respect people of a higher status than you. Where on earth did you take your etiquette classes?"

"Someone like you isn't deserving of my respect."

You scoff. "Someone like me?"

"Old and creepy." He replies.

"You've got a lot of nerve." You narrow your eyebrows.

"It's the truth, isn't it?" He laughs.

You stand up and make your way over to him. "Do you treat everyone as badly as you treat me or have I done something wrong?"

Ajax spits in your face.

You wipe off the saliva and grab him by the back of his hair. "Disrespect me, I'll disrespect you."

He struggles in your hold, screaming various profanities and threats as you bring him to your bedroom. None of your staff questions your actions, making Ajax even more angry.

You drop him onto the floor and unbuckle on your belt. "Brats like you need to learn discipline." You take his hands and tie them behind his back with the belt.

"What the fuck?!" He yells, anger turning to fear when he sees you pull your pants down. "You're fucking disgusting! I'll tell the Tsaritsa about you!"

"And why would she believe you? You must've been so upset about all this, I bet she'd think you made it up." You pull your underwear down, your half hard length scaring Ajax.

Before he can say anything, you grab him by his hair again and shove his face towards your crotch.

You try to pry his mouth open but he desperately keeps it closed. "Open your goddamn mouth or I'll make this even worse for you."

Ajax doesn't budge.

"If you open your mouth, I won't fuck you." You lie. "So if you keep it closed, you're asking for it."

He opens his mouth defeatedly and begrudgingly lets you slip your cock inside it.

"Don't even think about biting me." You say sternly. He glares at you, he has half a mind to do that.

Still gripping his hair, you start moving him back and forth, abusing his bratty mouth and using it to aid the erection you got from his poor attitude.

He continues glaring at you with tears in his eyes, trying to pretend it's not happening but he fails. The sticky taste of your pre cum and the thickness of your cock is all he can think about.

It's disgusting, he hates it.

"Snezhnaya made you a spoiled brat, I'll have to change that." You speed up as you get closer to your peak, your tip hitting the back of his throat. "Change you into a sweet and obedient wife."

He gags, feeling like he might throw up. He makes noises in hopes of alerting you but it only turns you on.

You roll your head back and push your length into Ajax all the way, keeping him there as you force thick ropes of cum down his throat.

When you finally pull out he coughs out a puddle of your spend, throat hurting and eyes red from crying.

"You wasted it." You slap him. "Clean it up. Now."

Ajax starts to yell, his voice raspy and broken. "You- you sick motherfucker! I'll have you killed for this! No, I'll fucking kill you myself!"

"You still have the strength to yell at me?" You chuckle. "As long as you do as I say, I won't fuck you." You pull your pants up and cover your mostly soft length.

He growls but doesn't say anything, wordlessly agreeing to your conditions. Only due to the fact that there's no chance of him getting out of this.

"If you can yell, you can speak. Answer me."

"Fine." He grimaces.

"It's yes, daddy. Or even yes, your highness." You correct.

He looks at you in disgust. "I'm not calling you either of those things you pervert."

You slap him again. "Eventually you will. Now lick it up." You point at the puddle.

He grits his teeth and lowers his head, closing his eyes and preparing himself for the disgusting actions he's being forced to do.

"Fuck you." He mutters, licking large amounts of cum to get it over with faster. "Disgusting freak." He says louder.

"Tell me, Ajax, who's the one on the floor drinking all of my cum like a hungry dog?" You laugh.

"Motherfucker." He growls. "You fucking made me do it." He takes the last scoop before making a face of disgust. He's sure he swallowed a hair.

You pick him up by the arm and drop him onto the bed. You kneel on the surface a few inches away from him.

His breath hitches as you strip him and touch his body. He's never prayed before but now he's begging to anyone listening that you won't go back on your word.

"You've never been in a relationship before have you?" You ask, squeezing his thighs.

Ajax shakes his head but answers when he sees your unamused face. "I haven't."

"Really? Not even with a knight or maid? I suppose the Tsaritsa would have their heads if they touched you though." You touch his little cock, grinning when you hear his soft moans.

"And th- the same'll happen to you."

"I'm going to be your husband, it's no surprise that I would touch you." You slip two fingers inside him, leaning over to his face. "Besides, I'm a king. And your mother cares more about having allies than she does her son's feelings. I'm sure she knew exactly what would happen when she decided to give you away." You thrust your fingers inside him, pointing them at his sweet spot.

He bites his lip to prevent any moans, he doesn't bother with a retort. He knows you're right.

"It's basically prostitution, right?" You smirk.

"Fuck you." He growls.

You sigh and pick Ajax up, laying his body over your lap with his ass raised up.

Before you can do anything, you hear a knock on the door.

"Yes?" You call out.

"Why the fu-" You cover Ajax's mouth.

"Sorry to interrupt you your highness," The butler starts, not sparing Ajax a glance. "The kitchen is wondering if you will come eat dinner. They've almost finished preparing it."

"Tell them to finish it and eat whatever they've cooked. Then, come back with a few more butlers who aren't busy." You order.

"Yes your highness." The butler bows and leaves the room.

Ajax bites your hand, the bite wasn't strong enough to bother you but you pull away anyway.

"Why the fuck are they coming back?" Ajax asks angrily.

"You really think you're in a position to be talking to me like that?" You scoff. "You should stop cursing, it's unbecoming of a wife."

"I'm not your fucking wife."

You give his ass a harsh smack. "Enough with the attitude."

"Scumbag." He mumbles under his breath.

You spank him again. "I heard that."

A soft knock on the door shuts Ajax up.

"Come in."

A group of 5 butlers walk into the room, awaiting their next command.

"Watch." You say sternly. They nod their heads.

"Watch?" Ajax's eyes widen. "Are you serious?"

"You did this to yourself."

Before he can insult you, you spank him. You keep striking his ass, every hit making him feel more and more humiliated.

Ajax bites down on his bottom lip to suppress his pained noises, even when it bleeds he continues to bite it.

He glares at the staff who are watching intently, cursing you and all of them in his head.

Once you've decided he's been spanked enough, you move him to sit on your lap with his back against your chest. The previous strikes to his ass makes sitting uncomfortable for him.

You take the belt off of his wrists. "Don't even think of trying to fight back, I can assure you the punishment will be even worse than this."

Ajax grumbles and stays still.

"Touch yourself." You bring his arm to the front of his body.

"Over my dead fucking body." He growls.

"Come on, did you forget what I said earlier? Or do you want me to fuck you?"

"Bastard." Ajax moves his hand to his crotch, closing his eyes and pretending he's alone in his room while he jerks his small cock and fingers his hole. He thinks about the nice man he met, how his slender fingers would feel stretching him open.

He doesn't realize that he's fully letting himself go, not holding back any moans at all.

Your scoff snaps him back to reality. "Maybe you get off on being watched.."

"I don't! Fuck! I'm not doing this!" He moves his hands away and rubs the wetness off on his thighs. "My mother will murder all of you for this."

No one in the room is phased by this threat.

"Somebody restrain him." You order.

Ajax looks back at you in confusion and at the approaching butler with anger. "I haven't even tried to leave! What the hell?!" He struggles in the man's hold. "Let go of me you mindless bastard!"

You pull your pants down, freeing your cock once again. You move backwards on the bed and beckon for the servant to bring Ajax to you.

You hold Ajax against you in the same position you had him in previously but now with his lower half dangerously close to your unclothed cock.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asks shakily.

"Rub your pussy against my cock and I'll forgive you." You seat his sex onto your shaft.

He bites his lip and looks at the audience. He's fully exposed to them now and he swears one of them has a boner. Ajax closes his eyes and starts rolling his hips, his breathing unsteady.

You wrap your fingers around his throat, one finger lifting his chin up. "Do you know how pretty he would look with a collar around his neck? A nice soft blue perhaps?"

Ajax grits his teeth.

"There's a shop around here that sells dog collars, isn't there? Someone make an order for a custom one."

One butler nods and goes to fulfill your request.

"You ass." Ajax stops. "I'm not gonna let you put a fucking collar on me like I'm a dog!"

"You act like an untrained dog, why shouldn't I treat you like one?" You lift his body and align yourself with his entrance.

Ajax notices what's happening before it's too late. "Hey!" He yells as the fat head of your cock pokes through, sending a burning sensation throughout his cunt.

"You disobeyed me one too many times." You push him further down, basically spearing him.

He grits his teeth in pain, unable to even say anything to you due to how much it hurts.

You smile as you get your entire length inside him. Ajax manages to grumble a 'fuck you' before you push him face first onto the bed. You grab hold of his hips and start slamming into him.

He rolls his eyes back, no words come out of his mouth, only drool and quiet 'uh~ uh~'s. Having such a large cock inside him is rendering him unable to think. Especially with the way you angle your hips at his g-spot.

"See how quiet he is now? All he needed was some cock to make him shut up, like a baby after being given a bottle." You laugh, gripping Ajax's hair and forcing him to look at the butlers in front of him.

They laugh as well, if he were in a better state Ajax would curse all of them out for it.

"Look at him drooling, he really must be a dog." You pry his mouth open wider than it already was. "Can you bark for us, Ajax?" You tease.

"Shu~ shut~ uh~" He loses his train of thought, one thrust bringing him near his peak. "Ah-" Ajax shuts his eyes as he comes.

You keep fucking him, not letting him recover from his orgasm. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" You remove your hand from his face so he can speak properly, still keeping his head up with your other hand gripping his hair.

"Nn- no~!"

"Even after all this," You let go of his hair and pinch his nipples. "You're pretending?" You laugh.

Ajax bites his lip and tightens around you.

"You have a lot of pride." You let go of his body completely, letting him fall onto the bed as you grab his waist. "Oh well, it'll just be a long night."

You push his head into the bed and prevent him from talking and breathing. "I guess tonight might be the night we conceive our heir." You spank his barely recovered ass. "Given how much I'll come inside you, maybe even heirs."

Muffled screams come from Ajax, he desperately pounds on the bed but is quickly sedated by your thrusts. He's still yelling but feeling too pleasured to move his arms.

"You'd like that, Ajax? Birthing our heirs just 9 months after we meet?"

Ajax tries to shake his head but struggles with your hand on it.

"Or is it getting filled to the brim from daddy's cum?" You thrust one last time, burying yourself balls deep inside him as you come.

Ajax moans from the new sensation of your hot load entering his body. Lightheaded and deprived of air, Ajax blames the overstimulation as he comes a second time.

"D'you want more, baby? It's like you're trying to milk me." You remove your hand from his head and allow him to catch his breath. The fact that he was able to go that long without fainting is impressive.

His brain is fuzzy and his vision is blurry. He can't think of anything remotely sane. He'll never forget how good it felt. "Ye- yes.."

"Yes what?"

"Yes...yes daddy I want more~" More drool spills from his mouth.

"Apologize for being a brat first."

"I'm sorry for being a brat...I wanna be your wife, daddy~ I'll be good~"

"Good boy." You flip him onto his back. "All of you are dismissed. Have someone send the letter I prepared."

The butlers bow and shuffle out.

"Let's continue, shall we?"

#male reader #top male reader #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin x reader #wicks🕯works #genshin x male reader #genshin impact #bottom tartaglia #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia x male reader #tartaglia smut #bottom childe #childe smut #childe x male reader #childe x reader #ajax x male reader #childe tartaglia ajax #ajax x reader #ajax smut #🕯️ajax #🕯️Genshin

[dlamp-dictator]

Oh right, one more quick thing while I'm here, completely forgot to talk about before I ran morning errands, didn't mean to forget but I just didn't want it clog up the Quick Thoughts when I mention that Project Moon once again can't stay out of the negative spotlight for five goddamn minutes.

Short version of this: I'm done. I tried sticking around after the official apology went off, but I'm done now.

Long Version? Well... unfortunately I can't make a gag about a necromancer this time to lighten mood since Project Moon decided to cut the middleman and just do the dark blood rituals themselves.

Okay, so for those new to the blog, hello, I'm Allen X/dlamp, I sometimes make posts and analysis of things I like, usually whatever gacha game has me by the balls that year, and I usually don't write moral/current event posts like this unless they are relevant to the previously mentioned game that has me by the balls. With that said... Limbus Company's... well, company Project Moon has been going through a conga line bad press, review bombs, and making so many bad decisions in terms of their business that it's almost impossible to discuss the game or the company without some sort of new controversy/bad decision happening.

But you know what, I think everything can be summarized with this one meme post.

Okay, I'm being a dick here, but the shortest summary I can give is that after an artist was either fired or stepped down depending on the source you believe Project Moon, the company that made Limbus Company had to suffer a number of fires and negative press from the act. The reasons for the firing/stepping down was right around Limbus Company's summer event when there was a vocal group of people not happy about how some of the new IDs looks to put it mildly. From there it's been fire after fire of something new springing up from other artists speaking out against the apparent bad working conditions at Project Moon, to certain parties and translation groups not being paid properly, to some translators quitting due to online harassment, the list goes on and can be tracked by people more involved than me. The point is, a lot of this company's dirty laundry was being aired out and Project Moon was losing cash and profits at record-breaking speeds. After a few months of this they finally gave a public announcement and apology for their multiple faux pas and made a promise to better and even go into legal action on those that continue to spread rumors, lies, and negative press on them.

They are now trying to file a lawsuit on the protest groups and unions that gave them negative press.

That's basically the sum of it all. But combining all of the other bad press Project Moon has gotten as a company this move sure as hell feels like Canto 5's drop would be the perfect smokescreen to push for lawsuits between a protest group and several union heads that investigated them months ago with few people complaining as people notice their latest game climbing to the top twenty of most played this week on Steam.

This has also semi-split the fandom somewhat into two sides, at least among those that know about this happening in the first place: those that agree with Project Moon's actions and don't agree with the action.

The general idea behind the lawsuit is twofold, making good on their mildly vague threat a few months ago in their apology post and trying to silence some of the key groups that hindered their profits and gain reparations. That's really the long and short of it and most people are either okay with that or not.

I do not.

I think it would had been a smarter move to Project Moon to just release Canto 5, shut their fucking mouths, enjoy all the new business it was getting, and move the fuck on. I'm not knowledgeable enough in South Korean law understand this, but I know this isn't the sort of move made by a company or company head that just wants to go back to making money with their semi-new lease on life after their little controversy was somewhat over. This is the move of a company that's hungry for revenge and can't leave well enough alone.

Like, goddamn, I'm trying to not care about it, I was just about to go to Sam Club this morning to buy a $50 steam card and splurge a little on some of the weekly packs until that story dropped. Why can't this company not be an asshole for at least three months.

And folks, I'm not trying to play some moral high ground here. I've already discussed why that's pointless on this hell site that doesn't care about morality. But I also know a shitty school bully kicking sand in someone's face when I see it, and take that from someone who has a job watching little kids in school. Project Moon essentially is wanting to play the bully after a kid tattled on them for pulling someone's hair instead just... playing somewhere else.

And look, I know the other side of this, the one that says Project Moon has a right to sue these folks for defamation and get some of their missing profit back, but... My god, that sounds way too petty for me to even entertain. That's just revenge, and if Canto 5 is telling us anything given Ishmael's self-destructive state... well... I think I know where this company's gonna' end up, and unlike Ish they don't have a magic clock person to rewind their mistake.

With all that said, this is unfortunately gonna' be the last time I talk about Limbus Company and Project Moon titles as a whole for long while. Until their current CEO steps down, if they step down. I just don't wanna' get involved in a series where the tag and the fanbase will split every time this company does a Bad™.

On the plus side, that means I'll be going back to Arknights soon since I won't have to fight between two different gacha games, so maybe expect more content on that soon. Hopefully I can rush through Lone Trail and get Silence Alter.

#your dictator is speaking

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Yeeting this into the void...

Half vent, half self-expression and the third half is so my few readers followers know what's up with me. But my brain is not a nice place. Tread carefully.

My brain is low-key trying to kill my lately. I don't know how much of this is meds/health issues and how much just stress. My thyroid and estrogen are fighting and that really hurts. I'm doing what I can to mitigate it, but the bottom line is, I don't have anything that works AND is tolerable at an effective dose.

Wednesday, I'm going to the endocrinologist. I have never been to one, despite having hormonal issues my whole life. The only reason I got this referral is my spouse came with me and demanded it on my behalf, and I think my family doctor is borderline senile. I have no idea what that man has told this new doctor who is holding my life in their hands. I've been waiting for this appointment for months. This was the earliest I could get in.

I have issues with at least two hormones and I would hope that the hormone specialist can deal with both, but estrogen - ha ha, that little scamp! - is gendered. I'm so scared that (after I get told to lose weight) I'm gonna hear, "Sorry! We'll have to let the lady doctor who specializes in lady parts deal with your lady hormone, you lady, you."

These two things interact, you see, and I've had trouble absorbing both. I need someone who can deal with that, otherwise I'm going to be playing a three physician game of telephone, where instead of talking to each other, they make ME explain everything - even though they're supposed to have all they need on the computer. It's... I don't have the energy to keep doing that and it's super ineffective.

I don't have anything sexy or cool or simple wrong with me. I didn't even get Agent Orange dumped on me, that happened to my dad and I can't prove it's affecting me. Even though I have never been okay. Ever.

I can't hug people or lean over a table without cringing, 'cos my breast pain goes off at random depending how you hit 'em. Nobody cares. I mean, the love of my life cares, but nobody who is gatekeeping my healthcare cares. It's been this way for years. The gynecologists want me to express my pain in a way that makes sense to them, "hot flashes and night sweats." If it's not that, why would estrogen help? But it does. I've been on more and different versions of it and that helped, and even what I have now is helping. The trouble is, I can't stay on it because of the side effects. The goddamn thyroid hormones help it too! But so far nobody is equipped to do anything with this information. I have to craft a lie like a crow bending a wire into the perfect shape to get a cheeto out of a tube.

I'm in a new place with all new people and I don't know how to operate them. I really don't know how to operate that family doctor, he forgets everything about me as soon as I leave the room. I'm gonna lead with the truth again - unless something goes south real fast - but I don't know what I'll get.

I'm haunted by the suspicion that I'm unfixable. Not just that I need something I'm not getting, but there is no thing. There is no cheeto in the tube. This'll just be my life. Not only will I be sick, but I'll have people treating me like I'm fine, and I'll be expected to act fine. Ha-ha, that's the trouble when you don't look disabled, everyone expects you to act that way too!

Even if I do get better, finally... I'm going to be mad. I am going to be really mad. I rested my shoulder for a week out of desperation - it's been a mess for over a year - and it feels better. It still locks up and hurts if I push it, but I am learning to rest it when it needs a rest. NOBODY told me to rest it, it was always various permutations of working it harder. I am so fucking ANGRY that "a rest" was never on the table for some reason. I had to be in constant pain for going on two years and then come up with a way to help myself. This small level of relief I'm feeling was KEPT from me.

I don't know if even this will last. I don't know if I'm gonna find out typing and drawing is bad for me and I need to limit one of the only things that makes my life worth living.

I've fallen into some very dark holes this last week, and there will be more. Self-harm is always gonna be something that occurs to me, whether to end the pain or just to make my outsides look as screwed up as my insides so I'll be left alone. It is ground into my bones that nobody is going to help me, so that's really all I want when it's very bad, to be left alone. (I've mentioned sometimes I sound like an unholy union of Milo and Mordecai, that's because I am!)

I'm hanging on and trying to be okay. It's just fragile. I keep crashing. It's not that I'm faking being happy, it's that I'm apt to very suddenly not feel that way anymore. Happy is like paint with too much thinner in it. I can layer on a little more, but the base coat keeps leaking through. I'm scared. And I feel so small and dumb and petty to be scared and not wanting to go on when I've been so lucky and have so much. I always find a reason to keep going. I just worry (and I know my spouse does too) that one time I won't.

I need that support system, so I'm going to keep trying to be social too, but it's hard. Web 1.0 is dead and you can't just talk to people on the internet anymore. Best I can do is talk to the internet in general and worry the few people close enough to actually care.

I'm sorry. I'm tryin' to stay safe. It's just precarious right now. This is gonna be a rough week, no matter how it shakes out. I'll end up with new meds, and no idea what they'll do to me.

Respect to Our Emily, but my hope isn't light enough for feathers. It's heavy like lead, that's why I can't always hold on to it.

Nevertheless, I've nothing to do but keep tryin' to get that cheeto out of the tube. Rejoice, rejoice, we have no choice, but to soldier on...

(Well, as long as the shoulder holds up, I can write and art to distract myself. I'm sure I'll get Erik out of that hotel room soon.)

#tw my brain is broken and I'll break yours too #psi 5 #i'm okay it's just gonna be a crap week you don't hafta click

[aromanticannibal]

AU where Izuku listened to All Might and found another way he could help people because uwu.

He goes home to his mom bawling his eyes out and being like mom I can't be a hero and Inko's immediately like. wtf happened. My child may be an idiot but he's also the physical incarnation of hope how is he Not Hoping rn.

Izuku tells her what happened and she goes mmh. She's unsure if she should hate All Might for his lack of tact or if she should be happy he made her son reconsider his decision

(I'm going off memory but as far as I'm aware here Inko doesn't want Izuku to be a hero, not because she thinks he's not worthy or bc she's a terrible mother she's just scared of him getting hurt.)

Izuku asks her what he should do now and she goes hey baby you're smart. You know a lot about heroes and quirks. You can find a way to help heroes and people with that

Small timeskip, Izuku studies engineering and shit, Hatsume Mei stuff, and starts remaking all of his journals to reorganize them and add more things. He's overworking himself to forget about how sad and angry at everything he is that he can't be hero at first, but he realizes that he truly loves analyzing even if it's not in the goal to become a hero.

Katsuki notices the shift in Izuku's behavior, but doesn't say anything. Now that Izuku became more discreet and stopped talking about being a hero, Katsuki's bullying calmed down - it's not perfect, and others are still being assholes, but y'know. Small victories

Izuku applies to UA in the support course. He becomes friends with Hatsume despite how high energy and overexcited she is, and bonds with her on their similar hyperfixations (Izuku's on quirks and Hatsume's on her babies).

Izuku avoids Katsuki like the plague, but can't help being interested in the hero course students. They're all so cool!

He starts getting noticed because of his work - his actual support items aren't the best, but his designs, ideas and analysis are great. He regularly gets caught mumbling about something borderline revolutionary and his teachers are like wtf. bro

Izuku does well in the sports festival because of his wits and the support items he designed and Hatsume made ; he does fight Shinsou, who wins since Izuku doesn't have his deus ex machina powers and can't escape Brainwashing. Izuku immediately gets attached to Shinsou, who's surprised Izuku doesn't hate him and his quirk.

(Shinsou then fights Todoroki : he loses, but his taunts to try and brainwash Todoroki make the latter start thinking about his quirk, resulting in a similar revelation than in canon, although slower)

Katsuki is somehow pretty calm about the whole "Deku got into the goddamn Sports Festival" thing. As calm as Katsuki can be at least.

Flashforward, end of season 2. Many hero course students have asked Izuku to help with either their costumes' designs or support items (mainly Aoyama for his belt, Hagakure and Yaoyorozu for obvious reasons, Kaminari to be able to aim his electricity, and Ashido to be able to use her acid more safely - so mostly aim stuff too).

Season 2 has Katsuki overworking himself during the exams with All Might and Izuku. I don't have the strength or the motivation to figure out how this goes without Izuku right now, but let's say it had Katsuki discover a major flaw in his gauntlets.

Thing is, he knows if he goes to support to get something better, he'll have to see Izuku. He doesn't really want to bully him anymore, it makes no sense to do so, but he isn't at the stage of his character development where he's like ok I got to apologize.

And what do we do when we're in distress? Right! Denial! (not actual advice don't ignore your problems people)

So Katsuki goes to support and pulls up like I need smth. Izuku doesn't realize it's Kacchan who's here until he turns around and he's like AA KACCHAN

Katsuki feels incredibly weird hearing the nickname again but doesn't say anything about it and acts like this is a perfectly normal interaction between two normal people. Denial at its finest

The second Katsuki explains his problem, Izuku gets out of his head. He knows Kacchan, his quirk, his fighting style, he very much knows how to fix this and even make it better. Katsuki remembers that there's someone out there who knows him and understand why he fights the way he does and has a mini crisis.

ultimately, he accepts Izuku's designs and says he'll be back to get his new gauntlets. He says "Thanks, Deku." and it's Izuku's turn to have a mini crisis.

(Hatsume definitely looks at him like yo dude. who this)

From then on Izuku is less scared to go talk to hero course students and stops avoiding Katsuki constantly. He makes some friendships!

He was already friends with Shinsou and Hatsume, but everyone else were just some people he kinda likes.

He mainly becomes friends with The Gang™ (Iida, Todoroki and Uraraka) but also with Ashido, Aoyama, Yaoyorozu and Hagakure from the time they came to him for designs.

When Katsuki gets kidnapped, Izuku is very very not okay. Like yeah they're not friends, but they used to be and Izuku still cares about Kacchan. He can't help but notice how much Katsuki's been trying to be nicer to him and others too (as subtle as it can be).

He definitely helps the Saving Bakugou Gang from where he can, giving them advice and support items. Katsuki feels many things when he learns how touched by this whole thing Izuku was.

On a funkier note, I feel like Izuku would definitely sit in during hero course classes when he doesn't have class. Aizawa probably doesn't care man would just be like heh whatever don't get killed

When Shinsou tells Izuku he's been training with Eraserhead and might actually enter the hero course, he gets so unbelievably excited. He comes up with a ton of ideas for Shinsou's costume, helps Hatsume with the Persona Cords and thinks of a ton of uses Shinsou quirk could have. He fills up an entire notebook with stuff about Shinsou and his quirk (Shinsou isn't sure if he should feel flattered or terrified).

from then on nothing that special happens and I'm too lazy rn to bother thinking of plot stuff. so let's skip to the 🔮 future 🔮

Izuku probably becomes a designer for costumes and support items, maybe keeps working with Hatsume (Hatsume is a genius at ingeneering but she often forgets people can like. die. so her items end up being unpractical. Izuku helps with that by overthinking every part of the item).

He actually also ends up making designs for civilians with unpractical quirks. Clothing is pretty much figured out but he definitely helps make mutation friendly fashion brands more popular, and he works to help people with unstable quirks have helpful stuff, like gloves for quirks like Shigaraki's or Uraraka's for example.

He'd probably be VERY helped by the fact that he's friends with a lot of heroes - they'd give him and Hatsume constant shout-outs and publicity.

Katsuki would also probably ask him to work at his agency at some point, but Izuku would say no, wanting to keeping working with Hatsume and be able to keep a wide range of stuff to work on.

I think after they dealt with their shit, Katsuki and Izuku would become friends again, though not as much as before.

Mainly I just want my mans to put his analyzing skills to use. anyways that was it folks

#mha #bnha #Izuku midoriya #hatsume mei #mha au #bnha au #mha headcanons #bnha headcanons #shinsou hitoshi

[riftwalker-limbro]

vince thoughts in my brain rotating themselves entirely without my agreement

he was never a warrior. he was a goddamn mathematician, and now he finds himself in a new body, perfect for combat. but he has None Of The Skills.

he's a better dancer than he is a warrior - though, that's mostly in the sense of perfecting the movements that enable him to manipulate the Rift around him and other beings.

kelth and sufford probably have to introduce him to warframe & tenno culture. teach him signs for quick communication without having to open a passive transference link, basics of combat - kelth probably has the weirdest time the first time they transference, because-

sufford has been a warrior all his life, right? dojo kid, probably in a rank just below dax during his lifetime. he has discipline, muscle memories, fighting abilities that allow kelth to kind of just let him take the reins and get their combined ass out of there in one piece. vince has No Fucking Clue what he's doing and kelth is Not expecting that - why would they? they've only ever been with sufford, and to him, fighting is second nature if not first.

i'm imagining it like. someone sitting on a horse and giving the Yes Go Ahead Start Going signal. but the horse is just like ?????????? (yes this specific metaphor is because the Cowboy Hat Post has stuck in my brain like a popcorn kernel between my teeth. it will always be a Cowboy Hat To Me)

does vince even want to fight? in a setting like warframe, with the players as warriors, we hardly ever meet people who aren't at least a little skilled in combat, so we tend to forget that those exist. but those people have to be out there, no? quickest example i can come up with is the people who live in the various open world cities, and cephalons like simaris and suda. we don't know any of ordis' history where he was a regular civilian, if he ever even was. vince was a civilian, and yes, the old war had broken out, but he was keeping far away from it, until it caught up with him.

i'm imagining, with new friends like this, he would want to fit in, right? he would want to help, pay them back for putting his confused ass back together after his Big Oopsie. but he has almost no skills that are of use to them. so he would want to learn. combat stances and training with sufford, transference and finetuning his abilities for not just pure math purposes but also incapacitating and damaging enemies.

yes this is me trying to wrangle the idea of vince into someone who would eventually enjoy going out and fighting hordes of enemies by just flicking his wrist, popping a cataclysm on everything, and nothing can move anymore, ready to be walked up to and decapitated, no hurry. let me have this power fantasy.

#love the readmore tag thank you tumblr for giving us readmore tag #rift noises #rift lore #vince #sufford #kelth

[triggerhappymilitant]

Can you list the romantic and/or sexual relationships with other muses and tell us something about about why are you shipping with them and how does this relationship look like? :)

I am 100% going to forget people. Mun is currently sick, so I apologize if I do. It doesn't mean I don't love our babies, it just means I'm slowly dying.

@hoodedchishiya is finally his goddamn boyfriend. This one had to be first, because this mf is the reason I created my Niragi account in the first place. Chishiya and Niragi absolutely love to antagonize each other, and even when they've done things to imply clear enough that they have deeper feelings for each other, their soft moments are still rare. However, when they are vulnerable with each other, you could just melt into the floor. These two babies have such amazing chemistry, and they're perfect for each other.

I've also got two other Nishiya ships, with @chishiya-the-cat and @chishiya-of-diamonds — Both are very undefined. With Diamonds, they've at least agreed that they're sexually attracted to each other. Cat, they haven't so much as admitted to it, as they've acted on it and keep telling themselves it's a one-time thing, but they constantly end up in each other's beds. There's an attraction there, a draw, but neither can figure out exactly what it is.

@daikichixkarube is another boyfriend. Niragi felt an immediate attraction towards meeting Karube (look, he has a thing for blonds, okay?) He was able to show the new guy around, and the flirting was pretty immediate. I think, to an extent, there's something in Karube that recognizes the part of Niragi that he wants to hide the most. Niragi has been willing to open up about the bullshit he went through with him, something I don't think he's truly been able to do with anyone else. They're very cute together, but also happy to roll around in bed together.

@aggwaseon Jihoon is a recently turned boyfriend of Niragi's. Despite the age difference, the two get along great. There's a big sexual drive there, but there are also feelings involved (having told each other they love each other.) Niragi is protective of him in a way he isn't with most; something entirely unnecessary given the age, job, and abs on Ji, but it's more of an emotional protectiveness. He wants Ji to feel nothing but happiness.

@your-sweet-cookie this man finally has a girlfriend. And we're also back to the blonds (I know, its silver/grey/etc. He likes people with very little color in his hair.) Niragi wasn't sure what to make of her at first. He always found her attractive, but he wasn't used to romance. Still, he quickly started developing feelings for her and wanted to spend all his time around her.

@yuzuhastrength While we haven't done anything with them recently, I will definitely still be adding her to my list. It's very undefined. There is an attraction there, despite their past. Niragi enjoys her company, her fiery nature, and the fact she can hold her own. And, of course, he finds her ridiculously attractive.

Not as active here on Tumblr, but I'm still shouting out @heartsking since we write a shit ton on Discord and they're my favorite person in the world. The first person I ever wrote Nishiya with - the person who watched me go from "eh, I could see it maybe being sexual" to "I will go down with this ship." And is happy to appease me for it. They're the most open with their feelings, and Niragi is a bit of a teddy bear with Chishiya. With have multiple universes, so it's hard to comment on all of them.

There are some that are sexual and/or just super blurry and undefined what they are. Again, I'll probably miss some, but some honorable mentions are @arisuthegamer (Niragi wants this man, badly. Arisu has actually admitted to having a crush, but they haven't done much with it yet.) @thebandanightmare (chaotic, sexy. Where's the "I ship it" Thor meme?) @spade-0-chan - they're flirty, unsure what's really going on with them, and I don't think they know either. @twentyfourhourtitts pretty strictly FWB. Put two attractive people with high sex drives together and boom, you've got these two. @k-y-u-m-a-clubs - Niragi adores this man endlessly. It's blurry as to what all exactly is going on with people, but Niragi enjoys his company nevertheless.

Again, I'm sorry if I missed anyone. I tried checking my following list to avoid it, but I'm sure I still probably did. You're free to yell at me.

#Anonymous

[arwamachine]

For the ask: 6, 12, and 22! Love your work!

Thank you for the aaaaask!!

6. do you have any kind of consistent writing schedule or just hoping for the best?

I'm incredibly fortunate to have weekday evenings free, so I usually get my writing done then. I try to write some words in some project at least once a day

12. do you ever have trouble focusing on writing? how do you get around that? 

I've definitely had some days where my attention span really isn't playing along. I'll sometimes set one of those distraction timers that keeps me off certain website (hellsite included), and even though I've learned that listening to classical music shaves off the edge of the inattention, I rarely use it. I just try to tell myself that some days aren't as productive as others but it all balances out in the end ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think the trick is to learn what works for you and your brain, but ultimately not to force it. Putting too much pressure on performance is a sure-fire way to get the yips

22. describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

Ohhhh boy...you asked for it. I'm going to put this below the cut, because it is involved 😅

(remember how I said I'm neurotic? Yeaaaahhh...)

1. Splat. I word-vomit an idea into my Notes app, usually in a single disjointed paragraph. Notes to myself, character descriptions, plot-points, and possible lines of prose are all muddled together, sometimes within the same sentence. Some ideas never make it past this stage, some hang out in this stage for months before getting picked up and transformed into a real boy, some get picked up immediately. You never know which it'll be. That's the beauty of the Splat

2. Murder board. I generate something that can be called an outline in the roughest of possible definitions. This has a general plot structure (although not necessarily in order) mixed in with character descriptions, any research I have done on the story (with reference links included...learned that the hard way), various ideas I have, and whole paragraphs of prose that get written out whenever they come to me. Picture the crazed Charlie Day string-and-pictures conspiracy meme, just with words. As soon as this document contains both a beginning and an ending to the story somewhere in its sprawling notes, I start writing.

3. Actual legible outline. Once my murder board exceeds 30 pages and is near impossible to wade through, I create an actual outline. Usually I have written like half of the story at this point. This outline is basically a distilled version of the murder board, with single-sentence bulletpoints of what happens in each scene. Everything is in order and nothing hurts. I rely heavily on both this outline and whatever hasn't been used from the murder board until the first-first draft is written.

4. First-first draft. The point of this draft is to get the general events of the story onto the page. The first-first draft is complete when I have something like a beginning, middle, and end written. I don't allow myself to get bogged down with research, naming characters, finding perfect sentences/words, connective tissue (I call this "A to B"), or any scenes that are throwing me for a loop. If I find myself getting stuck on something, I make myself a note and move on.

5. Second-first draft. Here, I go back through the first-first draft and curse myself for not writing all the parts that I didn't write. I do the research I ignored, write the difficult scenes that threw me for a loop, figure out all my A to Bs, and name the goddamn antagonist. The point of the second-first draft is to get 100% of the words on the page.

6. Set it and forget it. I do not touch the story for a specific length of time, which is determined by the length of the work. Shorter pieces have a set-and-forget of about two weeks. Longer works are set-and-forget for a month or more.

7. Come to Jesus. After the predetermined length of time, I pick the story back up and re-read it. Is it actually good? Does it make sense like I think it does? Did I use the word "whole" 17 times in one paragraph? And--more to the point--is it suitable for other people's eyeballs?

8. Other eyeballs. If this is fic, here is where I'll send to beta if I'm using one (I tend to only get longer fics beta'd). If this is professional writing, I send it out to folks in my life whose opinion I trust. I receive feedback and make additional edits accordingly.

9. Tinkering. I do another full review before step 10, usually with the help of a text-to-speech app so I can hear how it sounds (this also helps identify some typos). If this is a fic (single chapter), I do one final read-through before posting. If it is a multi-chapter fic, I do a read-through of each chapter the week before it posts.

10. Fly, my pretties! It this is a fic, it gets posted. If it is professional writing, it goes Out. Either way, may god have mercy on its soul.

11. Immediately discover a typo.

#arwa answers asks #arwa's writing process is a Whole Thing #but it works goddamnit #neuroses get resultsies