#like its been said before but damn

[purrvaire]

look at him with his big brown sad eyes being sad and pathetic like whatever you say babygirl im not gonna say no to those eyes

#dt has a personal ecologic niche and its pathetic genderfluid immortals #like its been said before but damn #he keeps delivering new levels of pathetic #if i have fourteen for three episodes only its only fair he'll get to be the skrukliest blorbo ever #fourteenth doctor #david tennant #doctor who #doctor who spoilers #doctor who specials #doctor who 60th anniversary #tenth doctor #tumblr text post #tumblr text meme #user purrvaire

[skitskatdacat63]

Yes these have all already been posted, but 2023 Vettonso comp post for me because I'm going to have an emotional breakdown

#i dont want to sound like a maniac but. i manifested this JDKFLGLVLV #okay but understand. ive been vettonso posting for like 3 or so weeks now #have been drawing them like its my god damn career #have been squealing and screeching over them with everyone #and like oh hey! they're both gonna be at suzuka! and seb is having a bee event! maybe nando will go! #BUT THEN NO I DONT HAVE TO JUST LIVE WITH SCRAPS. I GOT A WHOLE FUCKING MEAL #I AM GOING TO SCREAM AND CRY AND ROLL AROUND THE FLOOR #*i say as if i haven't done all of those things in quick succession after seeing these #yknow very fortuitous time for my parents to have gone on a vacation. so they didnt have to be witness to the emotional breakdown i just had #i was making noises that have not been uttered by human beings before :) #BUT LIKE INWAS LITERALLT JUDT DRAWING VETTONSO FANART #AND I FINISHED IT AND SCHEDULED IT #and was all silly in the tags like 'haha wonder if we'll get any interaction' #and then i go to scroll tumblr one last time before slepeing and I RECEIVE THIS FUCKING 12 COURSE MEAL #i cannot actually describe the emotion i felt when i first saw the pic #like genuine fucking shock through my body like just was like 'is this actually happening' #i said to C today 'i will be happy if we even get a pic of them within eachother's vicinity' #and well wow. theyre certainly within each others vicinities rn #if we actually get any more pics i think i will keel over i think i will actually turn into dust and powder on the floor #UGHHHHHHH JUST THE TIMING!!!!!! THEY DID IT FOR ME 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 #sometimes manifesting does work. after you draw like 20 hours worth of art of them #im trying to be concise but i really cant #because its literally just animal screeching and whining noises in my head rn #HOW DO I SLEEP AFTER THIS??????????????? #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #vettonso #2023 japanese gp #we do a little bit of f1

[slavhew]

Hello!

If you're not too busy, would you mind listing some of the things you think count as death flags for Mr. Spender?

There's the obvious fact that he's the "old" mentor to group of young protagonists, but what else do you think would count?

OHH BOY ok so I'd think I'm a crackpot for this but since we're talking about Zack "Foreshadowing" Morrison. I have some thoughts

No harm in leading with the (chronologically) first thing that jumped out at me:

This one IMMEDIATELY made me antsy whenever I came back to it after my initial read, and considering Zack has referred to it on twitter in the past as one of their favorite jokes it's definitely not been forgotten about.

Second, the sheer amounts of near-misses, jokey or not, of Spender narrowly avoiding specifically lightning

Again, not much, but it's weird that it happened thrice, latter two of which had real gravitas rather than an one-off joke.

And third, Spender himself. He's repeatedly shown himself to be kind of a self sacrificing idiot, as well as prideful to a fault. Granted, it's both him and Mina trying to take on all the responsibility of saving Mayview and its inhabitants from their fate.. But Spender is exactly that right measure of doesn't-value-himself-enough (chest footprint aftercare or lack thereof), having an obscene amount of power (enables his loner act + pride) and poor judgement that has the capacity to put him at great risk. And it has!

Spender has not only shown low enough self-esteem to view himself as the de-facto scapegoat for the safety of the town, but also prideful enough to make very bad calls that end up in people, often himself, hurt (COUGH FORGE INCIDENT COUGH)

This is all conjecture, but it's definitely enough to make me worried about him :') Even if all this doesn't mean he'll necessarily die he's definitely getting (even more) seriously injured at some point. I love the guy but he's so far doing a horrible job of convincing me he wants to live bad enough to circumvent at least that

#not art #admin answers #paranatural #pnat #richard spender #pts-fic-notes-and-blog #before i continue on with tag ramble i just want to say tysm for leaving an ask! #none of my friends read this so ive been stewing on these thoughts for some months and i loved finally sharing them #this isn't exactly proof but the hijack possession seemingly being the final nail in the coffin for his and isabel's relationship. #idk it feels significant to me. thats one more tether to support kinda gone. someone who knows him well enough to know he's unwell #he seems not exactly content but fr incapable of not burning bridges as he is now. and considering how rashly he acts he REALLY needs those #to not do stupid shit all the god damn time with no buffer other than Lucifer. who for his measured approach to rick's hotheadedness #has honestly shown himself to be pretty lenient and kinda bad at controlling spender's more (self) destructive tendencies? so he dont count #to be clear i love spender to bits but he is dumb as rocks and has all the self preservation of a fruit fly. it needs to be said #also the lightning man... idk its WEIRD like especially on the reread its the thing that most consistently threatens him! it repeats #sure he gets chewed by a bat and banged up by forge but?? he somehow always comes back to lightning. catnine has it out for him #its something i didnt even really put together until i continued reading the flashback chapter AFTER getting this ask and went OHHHGNHF #which the only reason lightning is such a non issue is lucifer's powers. which belong to his sunglasses and not to the spirit in him #so its not like they can't be taken away he's just got a really good excuse for having those on all the time #TAGS GETTING SO LONG. ANYWAYS. i hope this is comprehensible lol

[icecreamsodaaaaa]

Thoughts on different dragons having cultures and different languages?

#augh i think they should have different language……. and like focusing on more cultral aspects #i feel like the rainwings have their own language and written language and god i hate the framing of the rainwings like AUGH no! #though in my version of wof i wouldnt make Glory convert them cause of course… i feel like she would end up joining as an important part of #the kingdom because she wants to be apart of the culture she missed out on and her discovering how much better it is than a stinky ass cave #and she feels like she belongs and damn were other dragons wrong fuck them fuck you kestrel 🖕 #anyways sorry if this is semi incomprehensible its 1 in the morning but oh the thoughts… #i know this has probably been said a million times before but idk #maybe i wanted to rant about rainwings and Glory #wof #wings of fire

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

.

#tw suicide #no seriously heed the tw this is probably upsetting i just. i need to say it somewhere and i will not say it to my family. #puddleglum hours #personal #its just i was thinking. #tother day the doctor asked: do you regret it? about the suicide attempt tuesday night. #and i said something that i still feel: if i regret anything about it it's that i didn't succeed. #they're talking of discharging me tomorrow or something and im just. #what do i need to do to be kept in for longer?! damn it all i *know* how i could kill myself in here. #but i don't want to. i need them to save me #because i can't save myself! if they discharge me tomorrow i think it very likely ill be dead before the end of the week! or at least in #hospital from another attempt! this new med has made me more numb but the thoughts haven't gone away just muted. and then. #at times like this im perfectly wild about it! i cannot keep myself alive i need them to do it for me! #but when ive seen the doctor each time its been when im exhausted and numb and i don't care but that is not the case always. #i don't know. i don't see a good outcome any which way. #hopefully tomorrow the doctor sees me at a time when im feeling like this i think. #because i think i need to tell them. but i don't know how or even if it matters #and sometimes i just want to die. #im so tired of living guys. why #editing to add i am still on hiatus and if you want to contact me and know my discord contact me there #so i will not be responding to anything here for this moment at least

[wraithsoutlaws]

you know i had a fun little vp idea i wanted to do for the cyberpunk anniversary but i haven't had the energy to even touch it recently so i'll just settle with saying that this game impacted me in ways i never thought it would when i first picked it up 3 years ago. i knew i would enjoy it, i had been looking forward to it for a long time, and despite a ~controversial~ launch, i had a fucking blast from day 1 (on ps4 no less). regardless of bugs and memes and public dunking, the story grabbed me like nothing else could at the time, and it reignited so much of my passion and motivation for art that i had lost in the clutches of mental illness and i'll always be grateful for that. it introduced me to so many wonderful people (some whom i carry very close to my heart), and maybe most personally surprising, it gave me an outlet to understand parts of myself that i had been too afraid to acknowledge for a long time, the courage to accept and embrace myself as non-binary, and allow myself to just BE without trying to convince myself i'm crazy. that's not what i expected from the get-go but it's been a really fun journey to be on ngl

#yeah this fandom been a little rocky in places but i would be lying if i said this community here wasn't special to me #so much love and passion and creativity to be around and be inspired by #so many people who have been impacted by this silly little heartwrenching game #devs who have poured their heart into it to deliver something genuinely incredible #its one of those strange things that really did fully change the trajectory of this little leg of my life #to think that until 3 years ago i hadn't even touched art in a decade #now there are lovely people who want to spend money on my work #3 years ago i bought my first (and only) refurbished ps4 to play this game and now im sitting on a fancy gaming laptop #ive said it before but vp has been such an important creative outlet too #its allowed me to live my dreams of being a film director. a cinematographer. a writer. #the whole game has let me be so damn self-indulgent sometimes i feel like a kid again just unashamedly playing barbie #finding the JOY of just. creating. #i learned so much about myself through an OC because of this game #it went from 'huh what is this feeling? gender envy?' to being like full blown 'oh yea. i get it now.' so much of my life makes sense kfslf #and i met people who mean the world to me on top of it all #woof anyways #i know i say it a lot but genuinely thank u to yall who have encouraged me and supported me and who enjoy the things that i make #youve made such a difference in my life without knowing it!

[love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward]

everytime i take a tiny triangle out of the cake i made my brother comes in and cuts off a trapezium, making the cut a single clean line. it would be vaguely funny but like i made the thing and like could he not eat it all without leaving some for me

#rant #i guess #it really fucking annoys me how i have to cut off my share in everything that comes in this house ever #like always stay on alert for your food and stash away your share or its gonna be gone by morning #i dont even know why its making me frustrated enough to cry #its just. nice good food has always been a treat and motivator for me and my brother has a habit of always grabbing my share too #it sounds so silly out of context but like. ive had a lifetime of going through a bad tiring day with nothing to look forward to but #a nap and something i like to eat. and always opening the fridge to an empty container #or worse the box is there but then i get in bed with a book and open the damn thing to find half a spoonful inside. #it would be annoying once or twice but its just. all the fucking time. #i hate this survivalistic shit #its not long before i move out thank god but still #he always did it when i was young and my mom hardly ever said anything #like now if i want i can get myself some treats but when i was younger i didnt have much choice. #i havent had the time to bake in two years and prep plus baking the layer cake took two days. i put so much work in it. #and he ate half of it by the time i came back from fucking peeing. i cant even say anything because he gets fucking angry and aggressive #at the drop of a hat so im. crying in my room about it. look my feelings are not as drownable and consuming now. i generally dont #let things like that affect me too much. but i feel so young again and like the entire world is so unfair. i don't know #writing my feelings out on a tumblr blog is so much better than journalling they should recommend this shit in therapy

[abyssalreds]

gege needs to retire his character death note and hand it off to asagiri i swear 😭

#my sister (misinformed) told me yuta died in the latest jjk ch and i was so nervous looking at leaks #bc its smthn gege /would/ do and i really like yuta #thankfully he’s fine he just made an appearance in the latest ch thats all #tell me why my first thought after was ‘man that was a thrill i wish new bsd chapters made me feel like this’ 😭 #my biggest gripe w. bsd will forever be how all the characters always come out of battles completely unscathed #nevermind the 500 injuries th​ey sustained #nobody ever dies or gets new battle scars or life changing wounds etc etc it kinda makes the stakes boring when you know the character will #be fine when alls said and done #and honestly this wouldn’t be problem for me if ! asagiri didnt deathbait so damn much ! #he’s allergic to actually killing off a character and thats how i Know fyodor prob isnt dead #and neither is sigma bc fyodors ability is still a big mystery and we need them to reveal it for us #bc asagiri never killed anyone major off in the main manga before its hard to believe that he killed these two off 🤷‍♀️ #and ig fukuchi but all those theories of him being the masked man at the s5 cliffhanger has me squinting suspiciously #tbh idc if its my fav character who dies if it’ll make the plot more interesting then send them to the gallows !! #(okay maybe not lucy but she barely gets any panel time shhh) #like i like fukuzawa but i also think itd be interesting to see what would’ve happened if he died in the battle vs fukuchi #bc the aftermath would be a change in status quo and it would’ve been interesting to see the change in dynamics in the ada and #how they deal w. his loss !! #on the other hand gege killing off his characters too frequently . . . doesnt rlly need an explanation #(jjk spoilers?) now w. yuta going up against sukuna . . . please keep him safe gege i beg 🥲 #anyways. enough rambling now to go back to shoving bsd to the back of my mind lol #ayra croaks

[infizero]

every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen

#the funniest thing is is that i truly believe he thought he was being 100% convincing. that that's normal behavior for a completely straight #completely allosexual man #light is fucking awful and i hate him but also there's nuance to him. and sometimes i can get a little like. oh thinking about his life #before the series. specifically factoring in my headcanons about him being gay aroace and autistic and stuff. ppl have written some rlly #good fics surrounding those topics.... but yeah thats not even canon stuff but i dont care #anyways its not in a way of making excuses for how he is i just think it adds more to his character #hes total garbage but i think theres really interesting stuff with him when it comes to how he's.... VERY disconnected from others #just in general. he's like aware of how to act ''normal'' on like the most textbook surface level without being like. Aware enough to #be able to make it more convincing. and as ridiculous as it is i do see some of myself in him in that sense #also that person who said light and L is just autistic guy who's been masking his entire life vs autistic guy who's never masked in his #entire life. LITERALLY EXACTLY. genuinely perfect way to describe them they are both so similar when it comes to this #but the ways they go about it are very different. light has been playing the part of the perfect son his whole life. L doesnt try to change #himself for anyone and doesnt care when people think hes weird. both of them arent very socially aware and havent had any real friends #their whole lives. its such a fascinating parallel between them #i could go on a whole fucking thing about how light was pretending to be someone he's not around his family and at school and everything #long before he got the death note BUT. i wont. at least not right now #jesus christ how did i go from laughing about him with the magazine to this. my bad #derailed my own damn post. idk swagever #will say rq tho. watched a vid on youtube that pointed out how light expected his family to think nothing of the fact that he's gone to #such drastic measures to hide his diary when making the plan with hiding the death note which is like #that level of dedication would NOT be normal. so the fact that light expects his family to think nothing of it...... #i mean you could read that as light just once again being socially unaware. but it could also imply that light's family kind of Knows #he's hiding something and just doesn't address it. (he's gay. im talking about him being gay) #the video also referenced this comic that i didnt rb cause the actual premise of it (lawlight wedding) is um. #not at all my kind of thing. BUT it was light describing himself as a house with a basement when his family sees him as a one story house #and i thought that was such a cool analogy #ANYWAYYYSSSS i need to go to bed. thanks if you read my ramblings #serena.txt #death note posting

[beatcroc]

comic planning/roughs on the clock at work 👍 ok. this one's still a few posts out though

#god i really do just need to get a tablet or. something #some way to draw digitally on the go bc my laptop is um #at least 200% less portable than your typical old clunky laptop. its a whole ordeal #and as u can see tradish scribbles are barely usable #though i guess it would help if i ever remembered to grab something besides a shite pen at work lmao <-hates pen forever #mad bc i think this one is kind of mid+redundant for what i'd intended it to do bc of how some of the previous ones shifted #but i still gotta draw it bc one of the later ones uses it. buh #when i said these werent chronological or connected btw i lied #though only VERY VERY LOOSELY so. enough to bother *me* if i don't do them in order #but not enough that's really going to be noticeable to anyone else. they're each still intended 99% as standalone. #the arc is very minor but its there. for me. for anyone else it probably just amounts to a couple easter egg references/ consistencies #by the by the pizzaposts before this arent part of the series. #one small quickie thing and one i would...really like to get done sooner rather than later bc i need it out of my system #former's like 70% sketched im just waffling on execution #latter is uh...theres a lot there but it's harder to work on And harder tell how close to done it is. #unrelated its funny how i Always forget brick until i start putting anything down and then its like oh god yeah i can do bg Jokes with him #funny in the sense that one of my webcomic protag oc's is a...spatially similar deal as him [little kid with a big bear companion] #and i ALWAYS forget the bear when im scripting it. until i start messing with the layout and its like fuck theres a bear. #i have to do things with this now. fortunately thus far it hasn't been too hard to adapt #much rambling tonight goodbye. i haev to go block all these damn bots

[xxlethal-lunaxx]

If anyone relates to this even just a little bit, then I'm so sorry.

#• luna lavinchi speaking • #living with cptsd #cptsd vent #complex ptsd #diet culture trauma #monsters inside me #toxic health culture #ex vegitarian/vegan #emotional flashbacks #health documentaries #dark side of veganism #i should have never been forced to watch these as a child..my mind wasn't ready to understand the information nor tell what was real or not #-i cant try sushi or even think about fish without feeling physically sick and dizzy. i haven't had McDonald's since i was like 6ish years- #-old..i never wanted to share this information but i need to vent. I feel embarrassed and rude for not liking a food chain that most of the #-population does. Smelling or seeing McDonald's makes me wanna puke so bad because of everything those documentaries would say. #I will never be able to eat McDonald's in my life because of how sick and terrified i feel when thinking about the food even the drinks- #-scare the shit out of me. I'm so pissed that I'm triggered. All of the sudden i smell something in the house that smells like McDonald's- #-then the memories come flooding back and i feel like puking so back so i cant even eat dinner. i know this may seem stupid but i am- #-genuinly scared. Im tired of this shit and tired of feeling alone in this. #(anyway sorry. if you read my vent then i appreciate you) #tw food talk #tw diet culture #tw vent in tags #(dont even get me started on parasites cause thats a whole fucking trauma itself. damn it i hate it all. i hate it so much) #(also note: my therapist made me feel so validated weeks ago when i told her during my session that i was traumatized by monsters inside me- #-she literally knew the name of the show before i could even say its name. and she said she also cant watch it and that she saw it as an- #-adult who doesn't have ocd. so she told me she can't even imagine how terrified i was to watch it as a child who was developing ocd.- #-therapist W)

[apollo-zero-one]

Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....

#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!! #or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing #NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years #waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line #mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker #you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy #victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know #you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and #doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's #life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze #manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head? #This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and #poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy #she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he #said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch. #No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings. #bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk #that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!! #and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck. #Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he? #was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements #and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm #and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word #choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board. #Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself?? #'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person #how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person?? #Are you just living in some other reality??? #callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me #im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason

[applecherry108]

I…

So I grew up watching The Simpsons. And maybe I shouldn’t have, but hey, it was the 90s and parent-sanctioned family time to watch a show that was definitely inappropriate for little-little kids.

Anyways.

I knew Phil Hartman, voice of Troy McClure and Lionel Hutz died in 1998, when I was seven. I knew he died and was sad about it. I missed his characters.

MOTHERFUCKER I WAS TODAY YEARS OLD—30-FUCKING-2 TO BE EXACT—WHEN I FOUND OUT, FROM A YOUTUBE THUMBNAIL, THAT HE WAS MURDERED. IN HIS SLEEP. BY AN EX-PARTNER.

WHAT THE FUCK

#I assumed he was old and just passed away. maybe he was sick. how do you explain to a 7yo that a voice actor was MURDERED #and idk the state of the show nowadays but esp in its earlier seasons it was definitely meant to push boundaries and yeah #I don’t think I should’ve been to it before the age of 8 to 10 #at minimum. but also. SO much just flew over my head. and we know now I. autistic and my parents are autistic #and do you know how many echolalia swims we all have from that show? 😂😅 #*stims goddamn you autocorrect. every day the apple company curses my tags. I miss having an actual keyboard god damn it #apple talks #to the tune of spam #my parents weren’t naive enough to think all animation is for kids like there were plenty of shows I hasn’t allowed to watch as a kid #but idk man. for some reason the Simpsons and the critic were a-okay #but king of the hill wasn’t?? honestly I think it had more to do with whether or not my dad in particular liked a show than whether or not #it was deemed ‘appropriate for children’ #my mom tried to ban me from watching sailor moon bc she said it was just ‘little girls jumping around in short skirts being saved by the boy #like hi mom I’m gay. and also watched it in secret for several years. she never found out. I told her long after bc I thought it was #hilarious. mostly she was just mad bc my grandpa was supposed to be watching me lmao

[justablah56]

that moment when you think about a friend you haven't seen in 2 years and you realize wow the attachment issues are strong with this one

#just blahs #kinda rant/vent in the tags bcs i feel like maybe writing it out will make me feel better but making it as a part of the post seems too much #anyways lmao #said friend was basically my first real friend that i can actually remember and we were literally inseperable for the like . 2 years we had #but then they had to move away #and yeah i technically still have their discord and i can (do) message them every once in a while #but like . im constantly worried that maybe they wish i just stopped #Im always the one to reach out to them first mostly because like every once in a while i literally just sit and cry bcs i miss them #and i have no idea if they miss me too #because they were literally such a vital part of my life but maybe i wasn't as vital in theirs #maybe one day ill actually talk to them about all this #maybe some day I'll tell them that i have a playlist dedicated to them that i listen to sometimes when i miss them and want to cry #maybe some day I'll tell them that i still always sleep with the little plushy they gave me the day before they left #maybe some day I'll tell them how much i want them back and if maybe . just *maybe* they want me back #or maybe some day they'll tell me they've moved on and that i can stop checking in on them every few months #maybe theyll tell me that its weird that i *havent* moved on #because its been two god fucking damn years #thats plenty of time for me to just forget about them and move the fuck on . #its not like i don't have new close friends anymore . bcs i do . but theyre not *them* #i just want to know if they miss me even just a bit as much as i miss them #i need to know . #idk #i really shouldn't be allowed to stay up until almost 4 am lmao #anyways . might delete this in the morning we'll see #I'm just in a missing them mood rn im fine

[elisedonut]

me finally seeing a piece of Percy fan merch in a harry potter selling group on fb 

my entire body currently vibrating: i am so normal about this boy 

#percy weasley #its just an acrylic tile but i will take it #at least if it hasnt sold yet #i hope it hasnt been looking for anything i could find for over a year ksajhgaks #mostly fan merch though because ive said it before but most hp official merch is just so damn ugly #when the actual characters are involved like they make cool non character merch but i just dont care about having wands #or book ends with 9 3/4 or the hallows symbol #i want good old fashioned character merch i want them to release every single character on a button #not buttons themed to them i want their faces on buttons #i like the magic minis and everything pop mart has made but for obvious reasons neither have percy so they dont matter #though pop mart is still being made so its always possible they could throw percy in as a random character #since they already have some random characters

[saviorkink]

x

#so its been 3 months exactly since me & my ex like... said farewell #very dramatically #i just found out he blocked me on tiktok. 2 months ago i would've been devastated but now i just feel kinda bummed out #like is this really how 4 years of best friendship & 1 year of dating fuckery ends? damn lol it wasn't even all that #but mostly i just think its extremely pathetic & childish and LOSERRRR BEHAVIORRRR . for a 100k tiktok acc #to block a 150 follower account that doesnt even follow him + doesnt interact #like ok you said you weren't in love with me?? yet you feel the need to block me 3 months after the fact #im minding my business unless he breaks first (which has been the case a few times) #its still hard to get over him but he's making it easier every day! #just yesterday i was on the train On my way! to a concert & i remembered the afternoon before my harry concert in june last night #the mutual interest if you will had been re-established like a week prior & i texted him if he wanted to hang out and he said yes (ofc) #and the tension.......... GOD I MISS THATHSFDJKFS #walking around decathlon flirting oh it was SO STUPIDDD. THE GIGGLES. personally i've never really experienced that on that level before bc #like it's the best friends to lovers thing its the fact that we both felt the energy shift very clearly and were leaning into it #but not actually doing anything about it yet #just making stupid jokes flirting giggling but acting like actually nothing is going on #when i damn well know that if any of my friends saw us that afternoon they would've side eyed us SOOOOO HAARDDDDD #not to wax poetic over the guy who fucked me over so many times but. the electric energy ..... #i'm probably not going to feel That ever again #whatever! whatever #txt