#like so when i was younger and struggling

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for "using" a cucumber and putting it back in the fridge?

(🥒👌 to find later)

Please, I know it sounds nuts but hear me out. I feel awful and I need to know just how bad this is. Also, I intentionally left as much as possible vague as I am a minor and I do not want this to get removed for being too explicit. But the story will not make sense if I don't include certain things, please understand.

So I (16M) grew up in and currently still live in the bible belt, with extremely conservative evangelical parents. As a taste of what it's like, we have church 3 times a week, and church camp every summer. We are only allowed to access Netflix through a stupid content filter app and we can only use a restricted smart phone that is regularly checked at random by our parents. We get an hour and a half of computer usage every other day, and the internet on the computer is heavily filtered also. The only reason I have access to Tumblr and am able to post this now is because my best friend's older brother gave me his old android for my birthday a few years ago. His family is much more open minded, and I'm very close with them. I also think they have always felt a little bad for me with my family being the way they are.

I'm also gay. Obviously, my family does not know, and I intend to keep it that way. I won't go too deep into it, but it will suffice to say I struggled a lot when I was younger over this. The good thing is that in the last few years, I've been able to accept myself more and come to terms with what my own feelings about religion and faith really are. I came out to my best friend and his brother a little over a year ago, and they've been very supportive. I have yet to tell any of my other friends.

Recently, I've been trying out alcohol since my friends found a hookup. Something I have discovered is that I tend to get lewd feelings when I drink, which has nearly caused a few embarrassing moments around friends. Coincidentally, I have also been experimenting with... certain things. Being a minor, I obviously can't enter any of the adult stores around me, nor would I feel comfortable asking any of my friends to drive me there if I could. I also can't order anything online because my bank account is connected to my parents, and I don't have a shipping address I'm comfortable using for those items either. So instead, I use household objects that belong to me and can be sanitized easily. You might see where this is going.

Yesterday evening, I came home from best friend's house with a full bottle of wine in my backpack. We and a few other friends had already been sipping on a few beers that afternoon, and I still felt a little buzzed. After my family went to sleep, despite already having a little alcohol in my system, I proceeded to get wasted on this bottle of wine in my room. I don't have the clearest memory of all of this, but at some point, I got hungry and lewd-feeling. Went into the kitchen and, through some kind of thought process I can only imagine now, came back into my room with a cucumber. From the title of the post, you can hazard a guess as to what happened to this cucumber. Once I was done, I drukedly and quickly washed it in the bathroom sink and threw it back into the fridge. I went to sleep.

I started freaking out as soon as I woke up this morning. There were four cucumbers in the fridge, I was pretty positive at least two were going to be used for dinner tonight, and I had no idea which cucumber I did the deed with. To make matters worse, my mom was inviting the pastor of our church and his family over for dinner. I have practically no money currently, no license or vehicle, and no friends with vehicles free to pick up new cucumbers for me (and no reasonable explanation as to why I needed them to spot me for four cucumbers specifically). I also have no believable reason to give for why we shouldn't have cucumbers added in the salad mix. My mom knows I love them, and they haven't gone bad. Can't say I ate them because who the hell eats four raw cucumbers? And she'll interrogate both my brother and I until she gets a satisfying answer if I just throw them out. I didn't know what the hell to do about this and I was close to having a panic attack, so... I took a nap.

Evening came. Guests came over, dinner happened. We had porkchops with macaroni and side salads. Cucumbers were in the salad, and I along with pastor's family and my own, ate it like nothing was wrong. My parents, the pastor and his wife had an engaging conversation about politics, religion, and some mild church gossip after dinner. My little brother continued to read his book, and I had a very awkward and one-sided conversation about Young Sheldon with the pastor's daughter. Then they left. And I went to my room to mentally implode.

To say I'm horrified is a major understatement. I don't think anyone is going to get sick because I scrubbed all of the cucumbers with soap multiple times and cleaned the vegetable drawer with bleach when I woke up this morning. I guess I also don't know that the violated cucumber was one of the ones that was used for dinner tonight, but then it's only a matter of days until we have salad again, or if mom cuts one up for water. I've rattled my brain for any way I could get some new cucumbers without telling anyone the details of the event, but I have nothing. Don't even have the money, anyway. Gave up the last bit of cash I had for the damn wine yesterday, and I have $0.43 in total on my debit card.

Admittedly, there is a very small part of me that doesn't even really care if they have eaten or end up eating the damn thing. I can't stand my family. My parents are invasive, controlling and neurotic, and don't give a shit about how I'm doing in so far as it pertains to god and the church. I'm a little more sympathetic to my brother as he's been stuck in this hell with me, but at 13 he's already begun to regurgitate way more religious dogma than I ever did at his age. And I know for a fact that they would want nothing to do with me if they found out I was gay. They'd probably kick me out on the street and spit on me if I had to guess. But even still, this is only a small part of how I feel. What I did was still so gross, and no amount of animosity I have for them can change how mortifed I am. I do have at least a semblance of a conscience.

So...AITA for all of this? WIBTA if I did nothing about the other two cucumbers? Please help.

#aita #am i the asshole #unsanitary cw

[angelplummie]

here for revenge.

being lily's best friend - you grow up with her - you're in the donaldsons orbit for all your formative years. you develop a crush on art that turns into love as you grow older. your home life isn't so glamorous. you spend lots of weekends at the donaldsons. art has tucked you in. brought you snacks when you stayed up late for movie nights, making you and lily promise not to tell tashi. you were there when art and tashi got divored, held lilys hand and pretended not to be happy inside at the thought of getting closer to art.

lily gets into college - a big smart one because she has tashi's ambition and leaves you behind, you're still stuck at home because your dreams have always been smaller.

maybe its not appropriate, to still spend time with art. but he's lonely. tashi left, and now his daughter has and you're the only one left in his life that actually wants to be around him, that has always looked at him with stars in your eyes. its probably not healthy. there should be a boundary there. your lilies, not his.

but you like being around him and he likes having someone to take care of. you come over and he makes you eat something healthy and you needle him about spending all his time at home and how he should get out more, and he rolls his eyes, tells you he should be saying the same to you, you're young and beautiful and you should be dating around.

but how can you date around when art donaldson is your dream man? when you're happiest at his side, eating what he makes you. you want more though. you want to share his bed, warm it for him, you want to make him not so lonely, you want him to stop seeing you as a little girl and as the adult you've grown up to be - so you start wearing less and less around him. start acting more and more like a housewife.

art accepts it without even realizing. now you just need to find the right opportunity to pounce.

WHEW. this one is long so buckle up

“art?”

“mr donaldson.”

you roll your eyes.

“mr donaldson, how come you never started dating again?”

he chopped the lemon with a deft clunk, eyes never leaving the knife.

“never felt the urge.”

“what does that mean?”

“what i just said. never felt the need to.���

“hm.”

you sat on the island, next to the chopping board. your legs swung haphazardly, and you watched art as he chopped.

why was he playing this game? he could’ve told you to leave, to stop coming back and bothering him, that this was inappropriate. and yet. he didn’t even tell you to get your sorry butt off the counter, or some such dad-ism. the low glow of the many warm lamps that adorned such a luxurious house illuminated art so softly, he looked as young as the day lily was born. he was as fit as back then, if not meatier. he didn’t have the pouch your dad had, but the years had given him a thickness. instead of wasting away like most lean men did, he struggled to the other side. he got broader. layer upon layer of muscle encased in a thin finishing of fat. he was skinnier when you were a kid, but he had no reason to be lean now. under his chin a tiny hammock of pudge rested as his head tilted down, kissed by light stubble. his blonde hair was streaked in silver, but that somehow made him younger looking. made him glow. he had grown it out, by your suggestion. he was everything in the world a man should be.

“what about you?”

“i hate boys. they’re all stupid.”

“you got that right. you’re too good for all of them, never settle.”

“maybe it’s just boys my own age. theyre so immature.”

arts wide chest heaves. his eyes flick to you then flick back down. you see it all, and cross one leg over the other.

“maybe.”

“what were you like when you were my age?”

he laughs at the memory.

“stupid, immature, evil. if i was anything to go by you should swear off men entirely until menopause.”

air left your chest cavity.

“i don’t wanna wait. i want a fully formed one.”

you watched the muscles in arts forearms flex as he squeezed the lemon onto salad. the main course was cooking, was singing loudly on the stove. art had gotten into cooking after the divorce. it took all his attention and put it in one place, something complex and delicate and time consuming. it helped to clear his head. it wasn’t helping right this second.

“i shouldn’t say that,” he said curtly,”boys your age aren’t so bad. give them a go and quit hanging out with an old man.”

“but i like you, old man.”

art was so harsh on himself. he really wasn’t that old. and you really weren’t that young.

he pressed his lips together and kept squeezing. his pink lips, that gave his face the everlasting youth it held. he shrugged his shoulders in that way he did when he was confronted with the truth of your arrangement. there was something going on. something very, very, very wrong. you were the same age as his daughter. 3 months younger. he was the worst man in the world. the worst person to ever breathe. what could he do though? tell you to go? tell you to leave his house and never come back? what would become of you then? without him, what pillar of paternity would you rely upon? what new low would you reach? what men would you come across, and what would you do to please them? while he gingerly entertained you, you dangled something in front of his face that others would not have the restraint or morality to resist. if you had to move to another target, your next victim might not care so deeply for your wellbeing. were you not altogether safer, sitting in his kitchen, eating his caesar salad, rather than inhaling second hand cigarettes from old wrinkled fucks who might murder you, or worse-

“art?”

“mr donaldson.”

“you got a bunch of lemon pips in the salad.”

“oh.”

he set down the lemon.

“are you ok? you seem tense.”

“i’m good. are you cold? i can turn on the heating if you like.”

“no. it’s actually quite warm in here.”

he hears the zip of your hoodie and starts away from the island, under the pretence of getting a paper towel to deposit the lemon seeds on. your jumper clatters to the counter, and you watch his adam’s apple bob as he swallows. low cut top. he knows that’s what you’re wearing. because that’s all it’s been for the past 2 months. your mini skirt flowers around you as you sit, but when you stand each swish and sway of the fabric is a death sentence. god forbid you take the stairs for some ungodly reason.

“hey, you know what you said about never having the urge?”

oh, fuck off, he thought. fuck off. leave him be. leave him alone. release him.

“yes.”

“you can’t really mean that can you?”

“sure i can.”

“i mean, you can. but i don’t think you do.”

you twirled a strand of hair in between your fingers. your stomach grumbled, loud enough that he could hear. you were so hungry you could die, but if you ate what art was frying your breath would smell like fish all night.

“let me check the salmon.”

“i’m not that hungry. you can’t mean that you never had the urge to. everyone has urges.”

“well sure. but after tashi, i needed a breather. a grace period, if you will. you can’t go from marriage with a woman like her right into dating.”

“but it’s been 3 years. you must be over it by now?”

he ignored the hope in your voice. ignore, ignore, ignore.

“i am over it. but. women scare me.”

he walked languidly over the salmon. it was ready.

“i don’t scare you, i’m a woman.”

a woman. he turned off the stove, and turned to fix you with a stare for the first time tonight. a woman. that was not the word he would use to describe you. your eyes were the size of saucers, and you bat your lashes languidly, like you knew how much you were making him suffer. you sat up pin straight, and twisted your spine to make eye contact with him. your body. he tried not to look. tried not to look in front of you and see the twisted grin come across your lips. but he was a weak man. the weakest of men, and his eyes dragged over where a fatherly view should never cross. your perky new tits, the press and curve of your ass against the counter, the plush of your thighs. it seemed you had grown up overnight, and didn’t know you were still a baby. you’re a baby. you knew what you were doing to him. you knew. he blushed involuntarily.

“you scare me most of all.”

his voice trembled. he hadn’t meant to say that. hadn’t meant to dignify you will any response at all. it had crossed his mind and then it crossed his lips.

your eyes lit up with extreme delight. he liked to make you happy, but his stomach churned with the thought of why.

“why?”

he turned back around, and plated up your salmon, adding potatos and asparagus from the same pan, drizzling it all in the residual oil.

“why art?”

“mr donaldson.”

a twinge of irritation tickles your stomach. what was he fighting this for? you’re all grown up now. you both knew what was going to happen. he was resisting fate, the inevitable.

all your life you had known he was the man you were meant to be with. from that first time he kissed your forehead as you dozed off on the couch, thinking you were asleep. when his strong arms would carry both you and his daughter, flinging you around, threatening to dunk you in their backyard pool. when he would catch your eye in the rear view mirror as he drove you around and winked. he was so nice. so nice and brave and kind and warm, and if you had to be with any man it should be him because you’ve loved him since you were 8, and now you’re old enough to claim it. you’re not just a dumb kid with a crush. you love him. you understand it being one sided back then. but it isn’t anymore, and you wouldn’t let him deny it. with gliding footsteps you approached him, drawing closer every second he didn’t turn around. a hand rests on his shoulder blade.

“just stop,” you breathed after a pause.

his spatula clattered to the pan with a metallic thunk. you pull your hand away like he burnt you. he gripped the counter with a sigh and hung his head.

“you stop. stop it now,” his voice was stern. you felt yourself shrink. art was never stern.

“i know what you’re thinking, and it’s not going to happen. this has gone on far too long and it stops right now.”

a mere few paces from his wide curved back, you blink. the urge to touch him is overwhelming. you want to press your hand to his back, feel him under your palm and tell him you know he wants this. you know he wants this just as bad as you do.

but you don’t, because he’s angry at you, and he’s never been angry at you before.

“i’ve let you come here and cooked you food and watched movies with you because you’re a good kid. because i knew you as a kid and i know your problems with your father and i wanted to be there for you when lily is away. but you have taken this too far. you’re my daughters best friend. i have cleaned up your vomit twice, i baked you a cake for your 13th birthday- it’s not right. i’ve tried to be understanding, i’ve tried to ignore it, but you never drop it. never. your lack of self respect is staggering. you have to drop it right now or, im sorry but you can’t come back here anymore.”

every muscle fibre was clenched. if the counter top wasn’t marble it would’ve crunch and fell away under his grip. he couldn’t take it anymore. he didn’t know how much longer he could be good. didn’t know how much longer he could take resisting you.

maybe he was harsh. but it was the right thing to do. the only thing to do. he rested his elbow on the counter, and between his forefinger and his thumb held the bridge of his nose. he exhaled loudly. he hadn’t meant for it to come out that way, hadn’t planned it. but now it was out. he had stared the elephant in the room dead in its eyes. he felt lighter, somewhat liberated.

until he turned around after a few too many seconds of silence to see you turned away from him, slightly hunched over. he stepped closer, and saw your hands covering your mouth. you body jolted, and you drew in quick, grasping breaths. you were crying. he said your name, and you didn’t turn to look at him.

“i’m sorry. i’m sorry mr donaldson.”

all the relief he felt was replaced by swift, acute, crushing guilt. your hair fell over your face, shielding you from him. he said your name once more. you sniffed.

“hey, hey hey hey.”

against his better judgement, and because of the aching of his heart, he took you gently by the shoulders, and turned you to face him.

“i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.”

tears spill from your eyes and you wipe them away with a heavy hand, refusing to meet his eyes. his neck craned down to your eye level, his thumbs began tracing circle in your shoulders. a thoughtless gesture but one that made you cry even harder.

“i’m sorry. i don’t know what i was thinking. im just so sorry.”

“hey, it’s ok. it’s alright.”

“it’s not alright. i’ve ruined everything. i’ve made it- so- weird. i just thought that you- you wanted me. i’m so stupid.”

your mascara runs, painting your face with your turmoil.

how could you be so dense? you had been making him uncomfortable. he didn’t want you. the only reason he even let you hang around was obligation. because of what you meant to lily. you didn’t mean anything to him. you were just some kid. did he even think you’re pretty? you bet he didn’t.

worse than that, you had disappointed him. him. he was supposed to be everything your dad wasn’t. and now he was disappointed. you had failed. you had ruined everything. what even were you? were you even human?

“don’t. you’re not stupid. don’t say that.”

“i’m sorry. i just- i wanted to make you happy. that’s all i ever wanted. i wanted you to be happy with me. you were so- so- so crushed after the divorce, i-i just-“

he guides you over to the bar stool, and you let him. you sit across from each other. his hand touches your cheek, the other holds you shoulder still. the touch of his hand quietens your babbling, your eyes round and wet and open.

“you do make me happy.”

your lips parted, plump with crying.

“i do?”

he cringes at the hope in your voice, at the feeling in his chest that it stirs. the feeling in his whole body at touching, after so many years, your soft skin. the last time he held your face you were 8, crying over a bumped knee. he had very different feelings now than he did then. sympathy and concern had ebbed, making way for much darker, much more corrosive emotions. he felt guilt and want broil in the chambers of his stomach, and the evilness inside him told him how easy to would be to get what he wanted. how close he was.

“yes. you’re my favourite buddy, we have a great time together,” he ruffled your shoulder like you pat a dog, speaking quick to placate you.

the hope in your eyes dwindled.

“so,” you sniffled, “you don’t feel anything for me? you don’t-don’t want me at all?”

with your convulsive sobbing your chest rose and fell, and with each jolt you spilled further out of your thread bare top. he closed his eyes, and swallowed, adam’s apple bobbing. inhaling deeply, his fingers released your shoulder.

“it doesn’t matter what i want.”

“yes it does, it matters the most,” you answer immediately, tears gone from your eyes, now sliding down from your water line and down your cheek, “what do you want?”

what does art want? when was the last time he asked himself that question? years. at least. he drew away from you. you felt sick.

he turned on the stool, ducking his head and cradling his face in his hands

“i want…”

what the fuck was he saying? he couldn’t say this to you. he couldn’t. but he was.

“i… you’re a very gorgeous girl. you’re sweet. you’re smart. you’re funny. i like you very much.”

he said it like he was confessing to murder. elbow resting on his knee, his hand covered his eyes with splayed fingers. god, he was going to hell for this. even saying the words felt like the deepest sin imaginable, and he was sanitising his truth extensively. what he thought about at night, when you went home and his house became cold again, when he got into the shower and mechanically relieved himself into the drain, that was truly deplorable. when he touched himself, it was you he thought of. invariably. everything a man could possibly do to a girl, everything a girl could possibly do to a man, he had laid up in his bed and touched himself to with you in mind. ropes and ropes and ropes of cum in your honour, so gently splattered on shower walls and bedsheets he needed to wash anyway. sometimes he came on his torso, just to feel young and frivolous, like you were. and when he did his brain would turn back on, and he would feel so guilty that he would lay there to soak up his guilt, a punishment for himself from himself. so yes. he wanted you. he wanted you very, very badly. with every fibre of his being, he craved you. and with every fibre of his soul, he hated himself for it. but apparently he was still talking. what his morality urged him his mouth couldn’t hear, or wouldn’t obey.

“so don’t think you’re delusional. you had every reason to think i might reciprocate.”

you watched him, glossy eyes wide as ever. he peeked from beneath his fingers, immediately covering his eyes again when he saw you watch him. he shouldn’t have said that. he shouldn’t have. that was bad, it’s only giving you hope, and there is no hope. he can’t, he can’t. he want to so badly but he can’t. god, no he can’t. it would be so easy but easy isn’t right and how could he ever look his daughter in the eyes again if he did? how could he look at tashi?

“mr donaldson?”

“mm,” he replied miserably.

“kiss me.”

slowly, exhausted, he lifted up his head. mistake. now he was thinking about it as he looked at your face, puffy and damp and shining like a star.

why did he look so disgusted? what was so wrong with you? you couldn’t stop yourself from barreling ahead, feeling his premature rejection like a rock in your stomach.

“just once. then i’ll leave and i’ll never bother you and you won’t see me anymore and i’ll go to church and ill get a therapist, but just once.”

he looks so tired. so tired and so fucking good. his eyes smouldered with deep thought, the thought only a mature man can have. he was so mature. he was so much larger than you. he could hurt you if he wanted to. he could make you do anything but all he did was look at you so tired it made you squirm inside. as your sobs died in your throat, regret and embarrassment become indistinguishable from desire.

he blinked slowly, and opened his mouth. the white of his teeth glittered. his tongue pawed the inside of his cheek. he was thinking about it.

how could he be thinking about it? he was the worst person in the world. and yet. and yet. one kiss. he could control it with one kiss. one kiss wouldn’t hurt. one kiss. he had kissed your head before. your cheek. what was so different about this?

wordlessly, he moved off the stool. heart in your mouth you waited. a tremulous breath shuddered from your chest as he took one step. two steps. three steps. until he was stood above you. his face was unreadable. not cold. not warm. just looking, appraising from above his brown lower lashes, down his strong kissable nose.

“one kiss?”

his hand rose slowly, palm facing upwards. his finger tips grazed your jaw, your chin, tilting your head up. fireworks burst in your stomach, and you resisted the urge to moan.

“one. that’s all.”

one. that would be all. one kiss and he would put this silly fascination away for good. a kiss is deniable. a kiss is nothing.

he stoops down, can feel the nerves vibrating from your skin. his head tilts slightly, and your eyes lock as he descends to your level. his hand moves into your hair, a combing hold. and you kiss. no tongue. your lips connect, mush and expand over the others. his nose touched your cheek. your arms remained stiff by your side as they gripped the stool. you felt the pinkness of his lips, felt the edge of his cupids bow. and then he pulled away.

there. one kiss. he had done what he had to to get you to drop it. had fulfilled your criteria, and now you could move on. now he could move on.

but if that was true, why was he leaning in again? why did almost tasting your saliva, a substance he had thought about in great detail, make him hungrier for it? why was almost having it worse than never coming close? why did he pull gently on your hair, making your head tip back, opening you mouth so he could kiss the part of you he craved; the inside part? why was he hard if it was over?

his tongue flicked gently inside, asking permission. your mouths closed together, making the kiss noise you hate hearing but love making. they open quickly and in sequence. your hands rise up to gently hover over his chest, barely grazing his shirt. you didn’t want to touch him too hard in case he dissipated into a cloud of smoke, an illusion.

but he was very real, and under your timid girlish touch he was undone. a soft exhalation like a groan into your mouth, and his tongue protruded. it touched yours and you tasted the salt on it, shivering. his other hand fell back to your shoulder, gripping so hard it was like had no idea what he was doing. feeling your mouth against his was all that there was. there wasn’t right, there wasn’t wrong, there was only sensation.

all the want he had saved for solitary and depressing masturbation now burst through his veins, into his actions and he kissed you with all the passion in him. with everything he’s never said, with all the times he held back with you, with tashi. he kissed you like if he didn’t he would die, breathing and groaning and grunting involuntarily. he mashed his face to yours, crushing your lips, taking your bottom lip between his teeth before recapturing your mouth in a sloppy open mouthed kiss. it felt like steam evaporated from where your met, so hot and wet.

you didn’t know what was your and what was art, where you finished and art began. you meshed like the broken pieces of a vase slotted against each other. his tongue became so wild it clipped the side of your mouth in its frantic exploration, and you sighed.

ultimately it was you who had to pull away. you pulled your hands into your own chest, gasping for breath. he didn’t move an inch. he gripped your shoulder still, cradled your face the same. he opened his eyes, chest rising and falling graciously.

he surveyed you, still too high from your touch to feel guilt, with lazy eyes. he was so fucked. your eyes sparkled like glitter. your lips shined pearly with his spit. his.

“art?”

“yes?”

“it’s not just one kiss is it?”

despite himself, despite everything, he smiled.

“no. i don’t think it is.”

#oh i had FUN with this one #not proofread #challengers #art donaldson #art donaldson smut #challengers smut #challengers x reader #poppy 🥰🥰 #art donaldson x reader #art donaldson x reader smut #older man younger woman #30s art donaldson #30s art donaldson x reader #challengers x reader smut

[bunnliix]

When Eight Becomes Nine - Chapter Five

I'm kinda on a roll with these chapters, so I hope everyone is enjoying the frequent updates as well!

Pairing: Ateez x 9th member!reader Summary: The vocal assessments with Hongjoong are finally finished, and Hongjoong gets some sense knocked into him by a friend. Plus some cute moments! And a special appearance from an idol! wc: 2k AU: a/b/o Genre: Fluff/Angst Nets: @newworldnet warnings: much needed apologies, anxiety and nerves, Hongjoong getting sense knocked into him, I think that's it honestly, lemme know if there's anything I'm missing please! masterlist

The next day, Hongjoong woke to find himself still in the studio, though he wasn’t alone. He turned around to find his hyung sitting on the couch behind him.

“You’re awake.” Chan stated, looking at him,

“What are you doing here, hyung?” Hongjoong asked him.

“Seonghwa asked me to come talk some sense into you. Since you’re clearly struggling with that right now.”

Hongjoong looked down, away from Chan’s gaze. He was ashamed that even his hyung had come to know of what he’d done yesterday.

“I would have the same reaction as you did, if I was in your shoes.” Bang Chan told him, making the younger man look up. “I’d be as pissed off as you were, and are still. But, I would never have taken it out on others, others who don’t deserve your anger. But I’m sure you know by now how much you’ve fucked up.”

Hongjoong looked away again, unable to face the older man. He knew he had fucked up, that he had probably messed up any trust the auditionees had in him, and there would be no easy way to regain that trust. But he would have to do it. The first course of action would be to apologize to all of them for his actions, for how he took his anger out on them, when he shouldn’t have.

“I take it by the silence, you know what you have to do?” When Chan received a nod from the other alpha, he stood up and moved over to him. “I know it might seem like you’ve fucked up too much to be forgiven, but it will be okay, Hongjoong. You just have to fix things, and I’m sure you know where to start.” The younger man looked up at the elder with worry and hope in his eyes. “Besides, if you’re looking for the people you have to apologize for, they’re outside. Since you didn’t finish everyone’s vocal reviews yesterday.” Chan reminded him, before leaving him and walking to the door.

Outside the studio…

Y/n and the others, minus the few who seemed to have been cut overnight, stood outside the studio waiting. They had been instructed to return, since not all of them had finished the vocal assessment yesterday, including y/n. She was nervous that Hongjoong would be as strict and gruff as he had been the previous day. She didn’t want to have to face that today, when she’d be one of the ones that had to sing in front of him.

However they weren’t expecting who came out of the studio.

“Hello everyone. I’m probably not the person you were expecting, but the person you were expecting will be out in a minute or two. Good luck to those who are the few left to do the vocal assessment. I’m sure you’ll do well! Fighting!” The idol said, before walking down the hall.

He wasn’t wrong, it was a few minutes before Hongjoong appeared at the door of the studio. The idol looked worse for wear, though he quickly plastered on a less tired look.

“Come on in.” He said, no malice in his voice this time around.

Everyone filed into the room, as he took a seat at one of the chairs at the desk, just like he had the previous day. He looked at all of them, and y/n could see that the annoyance and anger that she had seen yesterday had seemingly disappeared overnight.

“Before we start, I have something to say to you all, and an apology to make. I am sorry for my actions yesterday, for nonverbally pushing you all to fail, for purposefully wanting none of you to live up to the impossible standards I silently set for you all. I am also sorry for taking my anger out on all of you. None of you deserved that, nor should I ever have involved any of you in a situation where you are innocent. Where the blame shouldn’t have fallen on you, instead I should have directed that anger at the parties that I have the problem with. I should not have said what I said to you, should not have told you, any of you, that you were unwanted. I’m very grateful that each of you wanted to audition, and I’m grateful that you’re here and that you came back after my actions yesterday. I would have understood if none of you wanted to come back here or interact with me after my horrible words, and I still understand if you would rather Mingi be here in my place.” Hongjoong apologized to all of them, standing and bowing low to all of them, in hopes of expressing just how apologetic and regretful he was of his actions the day prior. 

Everyone was silent, not exactly sure how to respond to the alpha’s apology. It was true that his outburst yesterday was hurtful. Anyone who was a fan of Ateez would feel hurt by it. But with the truth of his words yesterday, it was easy to see how and why he had felt that way. Did it make his actions right? Absolutely not. But it made them understandable, and they could sympathize with it.

“I don’t want to say your actions are okay, because they’re not, but they’re understandable given the circumstances.” Y/n spoke up, making Hongjoong look up at her.

“Should you have yelled at us, for something we had no hand in? No. But the reasons behind your outburst were and are understandable. As an Atiny, I understand how much you feel responsible for Ateez, and the other members, and how it’s your baby. But person to person, it wasn’t right to take your anger out on us, when it’s KQ you should be directing it towards.” She continued, her hands shaking as she held them behind her back. She was nervous doing this, but she felt she had to. No one else was stepping up to do so.

The others nodded along, her words voicing, for the most part, how they all felt. That while his actions are wrong, his feelings were and are valid.

“Are we okay to continue today then? If not, I completely understand.” Hongjoong asked softly, looking nothing like the alpha he was. He had quietly sat back down in his chair, looking at them tentatively, like they were going to tell him to leave.

Y/n looked at the others, who seemed to look to her, the omega, to be the one to talk, in an ironic turn of events.

“We’re okay to continue.” She told him, and that brought some of his signature Hongjoong energy back. He smiled, turning to one of the other few who hadn’t gone yesterday, instructing them to hop into the recording booth. The papers from yesterday were still in there, but this time he told the beta that they’d be singing along to Wave this time. A much less stressful song to sing than Wonderland. And everyone could see the enjoyment in the beta as they sang along, matching the tone of the song wonderfully. Hongjoong had them sing another few of the group’s songs, before having them come out, and turning to y/n, as she realized she miscounted how many hadn’t gone the day before, and that she was the final one to go.

“The lone omega is the last one to go, hmm?” Hongjoong remarked, “Time for you to hop into the booth and show me what you have.” He finished, smiling at her.

She did so, her nerves growing as she situated herself in the booth, before Hongjoong’s voice brought her out of her head.

“Okay! We’re going to start off with Halazia! I know it’s a tiny bit more difficult, but I believe you can do it.” Hongjoong told her, letting her get set up before starting the track.

She was a nervous wreck starting out, considering Halazia was her introduction to Ateez, so singing the song that led her to find Ateez, in front of Hongjoong, was an ironic turn of fate. She closed her eyes, not looking at anyone as she started singing, she couldn't bear seeing the others’ reactions, let alone the idol judging her vocal abilities. 

She got through the song, it all felt like a blur honestly. She knew she hadn’t nailed Jongho’s high note, but she definitely had nailed Mingi and Hongjoong’s raps out of some sort of miracle. She heard clapping, and opened her eyes to see that Aaron and some of the others were clapping for her, and looking over at Hongjoong, she could see a bit of a smirk on his face.

“Damn, color me impressed. How about a slightly easier one this time, Pirate King.” He told her, leading her to shuffle the pages until she found the lyrics for it, looking up at him once she found it. 

Before he could start the track, a staff member’s head popped into the room. “Are you finished evaluating all of the auditionees yet? We need them back in the dance room for another round of practice.”

“I’ve finished with everyone except the omega in the booth right now.” Hongjoong informed her.

“Okay. Finish up with her and then send her to your regular practice room. I’ll take everyone else now.” She told him, before motioning for everyone else to follow her.

Y/n looked at Hongjoong, who looked back at her before speaking up. “Well, just the two of us now. But let’s hear you sing our debut song.”

He started the music, watching her as she seemed more confident this time around. She actually did pretty damn well, much better than Halazia. Her confidence was through the roof for this song, and he could tell she was in her comfort zone. She never hesitated on a single note. Once she got to his own part in verse two, he was even more amazed, as she changed the lyrics slightly, from Pirate King to Pirate Queen. It was a common sense change, but the way she almost mimicked him while rapping his part was amazing. Somehow this song brought out the confidence that she didn’t seem to have before. Yesterday and even today, she was timid and quiet, trying to keep to the background. Today, and specifically right now, she was on fire. Honestly he’d give her this part in the song if she became their ninth member, just so he could see her sing it again.

Once she finished, he stood up and clapped, making her turn to look at him in shock. He entered the recording booth, pulling her back out of it as she still looked at him with shock.

“Where is the timid omega that was here yesterday? Though I shouldn’t be surprised, you’re the only one who was able to respond to me today. You did amazingly, especially on my part. The confidence level was amazing. I could see how nervous you were during Halazia, but that disappeared during Pirate King, why?” He rambled on, before asking her.

“Halazia is the song that got me into Ateez, and made me an Atiny. But Pirate King is the song that I’ll jam out to, and that I really enjoy as a song to vibe to. So I was nervous about getting Halazia right, whereas I kinda let go while singing and rapping Pirate King.” She told him, looking down at her lap.

“Ahh, Halazia brought you to us, that’s cute. And I enjoyed hearing you cover my part in Pirate King, you really make it your own, you know that?” Hongjoong said, making her look at him, finding that he was looking at her with a soft smile on his face.

However, Wooyoung burst in the room, stopping any more sweet moments between the alpha and omega.

“HYUNG, I HEARD Y/N WAS HERE!” He shouted, before spotting y/n, “Oh! Hi! You’re coming with me now!” He half-yelled, before stomping over to the two. He snatched her hand away from Hongjoong’s before pulling her up and off the couch on another adventure. The slightly older omega quickly led the other omega out of the room, as Hongjoong could hear his voice as y/n was kidnapped from him.

“Come on! This time we’re meeting Han and Felix! They agreed to come and meet with us at a local cafe!” Wooyoung’s voice could be heard as he pulled y/n down the hallway.

Prev | Next

Taglist: @bethelighthalazia @ja3hwa @scarface1231 @smally97 @iyeeeverydee

@lxsunshine @ismelllikechlorine247 @fr34k4c1dr41n @ateez-atiny380 @sapphirewaves

@davinashifts333 @cookiesandcreammy @not-straight-kait @hoeforalbedo @calisnewworld 

@smilefordongil @fantasy2wonderland @forever-atiny @khjcoo @hhoneylix

@ayoo-bangtan @11glitch11 @lynnsqueendom @fireseo @cara-rey

@therealcuppicake @lyracarvahall @anxiousskylar @dinossaurz @madilinetheb3st

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Taglist is: open!

#newworldnet #ateez x reader #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader #hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #jeong yunho #yeosang #san #mingi #jung wooyoung #jongho #abo series #a/b/o au #ateez series

[shelbygraces]

Do you ever feel like you're worthless? If so how do you deal with it?

i absolutely have felt that way when i was younger, especially when i was struggling with bullying, it made me feel like life wasn't worth living. but i've grown a lot and i don't believe anybody is worthless. everybody brings something special to this world. and i have such wonderful friends that choose me everyday because i provide something positive to their lives and we support and love each other. it absolutely makes me feel worthy. they'll never let me forget it, and vice versa. find those people! and know you are worthy simply because you are here! and i'm glad you are :)

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

TWST Cast - Fidgets/Stims/Self-Regulation

I needed something simple to write to feel like I'm. we're not actually gonna get into that, anyways, enjoy.

TW: Some of these are NOT healthy/borderline SH, but there's nothing graphic, it's just some folks don't know What's Wrong and only know how to make themselves focus via some sort of (minor) physical pain.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Heartslaybul

Riddle - had to mask around his mother, said his stims (bouncing his leg, and kinda just. shaking his pen? you know what I mean, like between two fingers and you just let it bounce?) made him look mentally unwell (🙄), unruly and undisciplined. Totally not projecting At All So he rarely stims in public when he's trying to focus, though during testing periods and in the safety of his own room he tends to let himself (subconsciously) stim. He also chews on his bottom lip a lot, but not enough that it was ever noticed by his mother. (Floyd gifts him a fidget ring sometime in the future and he's surprised at how well it works for him) He also loves compression but has yet to discover it.

Trey - He doesn't stim a whole lot, but even in game we know that he tends to touch/readjust his glasses when he feels awkward/about to join a conversation or make a point he's being a bit of a smart alec about. Usually when he's really stressed, (which takes quite a bit to get him there), he'll excessively wash his hands with cold water.

Cater - has a lot of caffeine, so for the most part, his impulses to stim aren't there. That being said, when anxiety comes to kick him in the butt, usually just listening to music and tapping out the rhythm of the guitar with his finger against his thigh is enough to help him out, usually while keeping the beat by tapping his foot or bobbing his head at the same time. (usually some soft rock or pop music) When he's REALLY like. needs to get emotions out but can't because he doesn't like being vulnerable he makes himself eat unbearably hot (spicy) food and insists that he likes it even as he is Crying and Sniffling because. then he can write it off to the spice and not the fact he's dying inside. (Don't do this please sdlkjfhlksdjf) Sometimes he also stims by making popping noises, but he doesn't even recognize that he does this, because usually it's just when it's him and Trey in the room, and Trey isn't bothered by it. "Like" and "Really" are both stim words for him too.

Deuce - He's still learning to self-regulate! He knows that shouting helps him get everything out, but in the moment he sometimes struggles. He's still trying out different techniques. As for stims/fidgets Deuce doesn't really have any? Well he does, but he doesn't act on them when he needs to focus since One Incident early on in life when he found out that his fidgets make noise (he's deaf as a part of my HC and didn't get hearing aids until he was like 5-6) and he hates to be a bother to anyone else. On top of that, I think he has a slight auditory processing disorder, so he has a tendency to repeat things back to people, just to make sure he's understood correctly once his brain has caught up to their words. He doesn't know it yet, but compression will help him Calm Down when needed.

Ace - Whistling/noise imitation in general, bouncing his leg, pen tapping, etc. this guy has ADHD but thank the Seven for his older brother who was patient and gentle with him when he was younger. When Ace struggles to focus, he tends to just shuffle a deck of cards, he likes the way they feel. In the rare occasion that he chooses to study, he usually does so while shuffling the cards/practicing a magic trick at the same time because the Physical task during the Mental task makes the Mental task more interesting. He also uses music as a means of self-regulation. (Usually classic rock).

Savannaclaw

Leona - His emotional regulation is out to lunch and the closest he gets to stimming is his tail flicking. It could be argued that the feeling of his blankets is Nice To Him but idk man. Catnip helps with regulation? Idk. Sure.

Ruggie - Idk are we counting his tail wagging as a stim? technically it could be considered one, right, it's a subconscious physical response to happiness? Ruggie also tends to chew on his lip when he's focusing, but his teeth are sharper than Riddle's so it often draws blood and he rarely notices. Sometimes he's kinda hit with just a Wave of what the fuck am I doing with my life? and just needs to rub something soft (Usually Leona's laundry bc it's more luxurious than anyone else's), a little bit to try and recenter himself. If that doesn't work he just tries to work himself to a point of exhaustion so he can ignore the Bad Feelings. This rarely works and he ends up calling his grandma by the end of it just to ask her to leave the phone on speaker so he can hear the chaos and rough and tumble of home. At the end of the phone call his grandma sings to him bc she knows full well what's going on and the sense of familiarity is enough to help Ruggie feel less restless. This boy also loves compression. Also, rolling with the idea that he got to keep the trumpet from the port fest event and started teaching it to himself, during the day/when he's bored he practices tonguing+breathing excercises/patterns (don't be weird about this I stg) or buzzing with or without his mouth piece. Also chews on his nails a lot. I feel like eventually someone gifts him one of those chew necklaces and he loves it but his bite force accidentally damages it much sooner than it should have been so then that same person gets one commissioned specifically to withstand a hyena's bite force and it's the best gift he'll have ever gotten (besides a wad of cash but yknow)

Jack - I mean besides his tail wagging...there isn't much else? For emotional regulation, he tends to just go running if he needs something to focus on. Music also helps sometimes, but it's specifically classical and he just sits in bed and listens to it in his comfiest clothes bc. unlike SOME people he will listen to his body and mind and rest when necessary.

Octavinelle

Azul - Him? Stim? Never. /J He masks a lot mostly because he knows that stimming can come off as anxious, and that's the last thing he wants when he's trying to be convincing to someone else, or really, in front of the twins. That being said, alone in his office he twirls his pen a lot, and late nights/Anxiety Times leads to him tugging on that strand of hair that's longer than the rest as a means of staying focused and in the moment. He thinks he can't be vulnerable in front of the twins but honestly they pick up on his anxiety so easily, they both know compression helps him out. Jade is generally touch repulsed, so usually Floyd takes it upon himself to Flop on Azul's back while he's working. Azul will sometimes imitate playing chords on the piano, on his desk for the same reason Ace plays with cards. He also finds himself stress eating sometimes which does nothing good for his self-esteem.

Jade - Also Masks A Lot. It would take someone he trusts even more than his own twin that would ever get to see him act on his impulses. Otherwise we would see Jade with the happy flappies (though I feel like he would keep his hands in fists instead). However, when things are Bad, Jade does one of two things, both of which are done in a locked bathroom. 1. Fill the sink with cold water and dunk his head in without switching to his mer form. 2. Rolls up his sleeves and bites himself. Just once is usually enough to get him out of it. He also finds the whole. Cleaning out the wound and wrapping himself pretty relaxing. He has not considered just using a tensor bandage yet to self regulate, eventually Floyd will find out wtf he's doing and suggest That instead. Jade will sometimes unmask just enough to rock slightly side to side or back and forth/up on his tiptoes and back down bc he can make it fit with his whole 'I'm innocent baby' kinda facade he pulls sometimes sdlkfjhslkdjf Also tends to need a completely silence space when he's overstimulated.

Floyd -WHOOOOOWEEE babes you already know he is STIM central WHOOT WHOOT he's got the happy flappies, he's got the leg bouncy, he's got the clicky pen, he's got the 'I gotta touch something squishy' need, etc. etc. HOWEVER sometimes he's got the Bad Stims, like he cannot focus on anything, nothing is being retained, he feels over and understimulated at the same time, nothing feels Good, he doesn't feel hungry, he wants Nothing to do with anyone, his leg is bouncing, he's kinda just stabbing his pencil repeatedly into the table and he KNOWS he should focus but just can't- and then Lilia introduces him to metal music and it's like Wow. Everything is better. It has to be blasting, but now Floyd has a means of dealing with That Feeling whenever it rolls around. Also it HAS to be over the ear headphones because of the compression and Friendly Squishy Texture of the parts that cover his ears. Makes him feel better in less than ten minutes, it's a win-win for everyone except he can never remember the name of the band, so he almost always tracks down Lilia to demand (ask) for a reminder and Lilia just almost always has his headphones and phone on hand so just Gives them to Floyd while he goes through Floyd's phone and curates a playlist for him and finds his exact headphones on the equivalent of Amazon so Floyd can order them. Floyd in general, when listening to music, tends to imitate whatever his favourite part of the song is, whether it's the bass line, guitar, drums, keyboard, lyrics, etc. and will switch between various parts as he sees fit. This also means it's not uncommon to hear Floyd essentially beatboxing as a stim method as well. Floyd also snaps his fingers a lot, he likes spinning things on his fingers (be it as innocent as a key chain or dangerous as scissors), and also imitates people a lot. He doesn't always intend to, but like. If he is talking to someone with an accent, he accidentally IMMEDIATELY takes on that accent and finds it funny because he literally can't stop himself. Idk if anyone else has this issue but dear god as someone more anxious than Floyd this has lead to a lot of awkward situations for me bc I have to CONSCIOUSLY not speak in whatever accent my brain is trying to make me take on.

Scarabia

Kalim - ALSO stim central, though his tend to be in response to happiness. He tends to parrot people a lot, beatboxes/makes noise, happy wiggles, snaps his fingers,lots of different kinds of taps, and has happy flappies. He has some. Not so good regulatory practices as well, but when he's overwhelmed he tends to rock back and forth, or ...like. Idk really how to describe it, but he taps his hand against his chest really fast, but it's like in a claw shape so after a few times it starts to hurt a little? because of his finger nails?? idk how else to describe it. He knows better than to do it in front of Jamil though. Music tends to overwhelm him when he's already overstimulated so he ends up putting headphones on just to try and block out the noise. White noise doesn't help, he just wants it to be as quiet as possible.

Jamil - Stims more than people realize, because his stims are naturally more subtle. When Kalim comes to 'bother' him in the kitchen, he keeps himself as focused and relaxed as possible by balancing on one foot at a time, to give himself something to think about besides the 'unwelcome' invasion. When he's studying, he flips his hood up and is constantly rubbing the fabric close to his face and has a bit of a leg bounce. He also uses music as a means of regulation, usually something with a lot of syncopation. Jamil also keeps his hand in a fist and bumps it against his side sometimes when he's trying to stay focused in a conversation.

Pomefiore

Vil - He doesn't really stim all that much, but on days he doesn't feel himself/bad anxiety/PTSD is getting to him, he washes his hands with burning hot water. He knows it's not good. And his hands are super sensitive afterwards. But it stops him from spiraling and that's all he needs. He takes care of them properly afterwards and will make sure to wear his gloves.

Rook - I kinda HC Rook with OCD. Most of his stims are his methods of coping with any sort of dirt or germs, perceived or otherwise. He hates not wearing his gloves, (of which he has different pairs for different Places), but in the event he can't have them on for whatever reason, or a task will be more efficiently done without them, he washes his hands until they're raw because then he can be sure that layer of skin that was in Contact isn't there. Rook regulates with scents a lot too, whether it be the perfume Neige/Vil uses or rooibos tea that his sister used to make for him.

Epel - Idk if gesticulation counts as stimming, but he does it a lot, just not in front of Vil dslkfjhksdjf. I feel like it's only really around Deuce that he feels comfortable doing his happy stomps, though for the hometown event he likely doesn't mask much so other people get to see it too. As much as Epel hates being called short, he likes the fact if he sits back far enough in his chair he can kick his feet without touching the floor sljdfhlksjd. He also tends to grind his teeth.

Ignihyde

Idia - He has SO MANY homemade fidgets but he gets tired of them really quickly so he ends up putting them in the scraps lab of Ignihyde. He likes clicking sounds a lot, (go figure /lh), and ASMR. In the (horrific) event he has to leave his room, usually he tries to keep his anxiety at bay via rubbing the ridges on his sweater, playing/rubbing at his hands/wrists in the pouch pocket of his sweater or rocking a bit, though he hates doing that bc it draws attention to him sometimes. If he does end up overstimulated in a Bad Way or anxious, he tends to pick at his lips/chew on his fingernails.

Ortho - Baby!! He tends to mimic other people's stims when they look fun! He does do happy trills/beeps now and then of his own volition and it's Adorable. He will also do them when he feels like cussing sldkfhlksjd Ortho also claps when he's happy, and if he has his boosters on might even do a little flip. As a treat. When he does need emotional regulation, he knows compression helps so he just asks big brother for a hug. 10/10.

Diasomnia

Malleus - Doesn't stim a whole lot...nor does he really emotionally regulate, though I feel like. For some reason he really likes (cloud) slime as a fidget. Like, he doesn't need it in order to regulate anything, but he finds the texture and sound pleasing. He does sometimes repeat other people to process information. I do think he would be more prone to stimming when he's more dragon than humanoid.

Lilia - Obviously uses music to regulate, bc he did it for Floyd, but he also uses his turning upside down and feeling all the blood rush to his head as a method of getting his brain out of a bad spot. Lilia does also have a chew necklace that he uses now and then, but other than that, he rarely gets overstimulated or needs a distraction. He just likes chewing sldjfhslkjdf he does help Sebek and Silver self regulate though

Silver - He doesn't stim a whole lot, but when he was younger he used to have a lot of nightmares. Usually Lilia would help him through it with breathing exercises, but if he was too panicked to focus on that he would get a few pieces of ice and wrap it in a cloth towel so as to protect him from it hurting. The cold would distract Silver enough to stop crying as hard, and then both Lilia and Silver would hold an ice cube in their hands until Silver didn't want to anymore and they could practice their breathing. Every now and then, Silver still goes to the freezer at night just to hold ice in both hands until he's calmed himself down from a particularly bad dream or anxiety just eating at him.

Sebek - Refuses to believe he stims. However, he acknowledges the ice trick does help him refocus when he finds that he isn't able to on his own. He doesn't realize he grinds his teeth or that staring at a fan actually helps him calm down. Also Lilia bought him a lava lamp and it also helps stop the overwhelming Feelings he has sometimes.

Others

Che'nya - picks at his skin a lot. He knows it's not good but he can't help it there are Textures There He Doesn't Want but also Feel Funny on his fingers. He tends to self-regulate simply by purring or scratching himself/getting someone else to scratch behind his ears. He also tends to put things in his mouth without much thought behind it. All his pencils have bite marks. He has probably eaten like 30 erasers by this point by accident. He also really likes smells, usually freshly baked bread to help regulate, which is why he sometimes comes to 'invade' Heartslaybul is just to chill in the kitchen while Trey bakes to help him tune out any bad feelings he has. Every once in a while, he'll use catnip to deal with anxiety, but Neige usually intervenes before then and like. Puts on one of those fish videos for cats. Che'nya loves them more than he would like to admit. He also carries a ball of yarn because he likes how soft it is and he can fidget with it when he needs to.

Jack T. - Almost the exact same stims as his little brother, but he masks a lot because he Had To when he was growing up. He's just glad that he was able to provide a space for Ace to be able to express himself the way he needed to.

Najma - She also stims in a fairly subtle way. She usually has a scarf on her that's a soft material that she rubs as a means of regulation, like some sort of silk, she likes the smooth texture. She has 10 hour versions of her favourite song, (whatever it may be) on her playlist. (Jamil does NOT understand this whatsoever, how Najma can stand to listen to something that long does not make sense to him sdlfhlkjsf) She also has a hand cream she carries with her everywhere because she likes the smell of it.

Neige - He has a lot of anxious bouts and PTSD that he can usually mask, but he's almost always rubbing his wrist gently, humming, singing or whistling. He kinda figures if he's always making a noise of some kind, nobody will pick up on what lies underneath. When he does have a full blown panic attack, he has breathing exercises he works through that work for him. He also journals a lot.

Extra

Vizzie - Rubs her wrist where her vambrace ends, tugs at her hair when she's borderline dissociative to help keep her in the present, and when she's really feeling. not great? She eats ice with salt on it. It's the burning sensation that helps her focus on Just That and nothing else. Once Cater introduces her to caffeine as a stimulant it does help with a lot of her ADHD-like tendencies, but listening to music with over the ear headphones helps too. When she doesn't want to. you know. punish herself with salted ice, she just has Ice but she has to let it sit until it's the Right Texture. And you might be like. Hey. This sounds like an amalgamation of A Lot of things from above. Guess what babyyyy most of those stims ^^^ are things I do too. And Vizzie is basically. An AU version of myself. Guess what I was doing that made me wanna write this post? slkdjfhslkjdf that's right doing a shitty job at self regulation but hey, writing it out made me Feel Better WOOOO yeah Later on in the Canon story she ends up being more comfortable showing happy stims. When she's listening to music, she often ends up doing the same thing as Cater with the rhythms of the guitar line being tapped out. (bc I gave him my stim wooo I'm taking it back for her lsdkjfhlksjdf)

Anyways. I'm surprised I finished this in one sitting. Must be the caffeine.

Taglist: (lmk if you wanna hop on)

@fluffle-writes @my-cursed-brain

#v talks #twst #twisted wonderland #twst hcs #twst headcanons #twst scenarios #riddle rosehearts #trey clover #cater diamond #deuce spade #ace trappola #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #jack howl #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #kalim al asim #jamil viper #vil shoenheit #rook hunt #epel felmier #idia shroud #ortho shroud #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #twst silver #sebek zigvolt #che'nya #neige leblanche

[mrs-snape5984]

“There is no other love, it's only yours…”

“You're all I want, all I love…” (“You’re all I want” by Cigarettes after Sex)

Yesterday I had a really rough day. It didn’t just feel like one of my regular “PEM-Crash-Days” (PEM = post-exertional malaise = the worsening of symptoms after crossing the boundaries of my condition, due to my disease ME/CFS). The whole day was also coated in a thick layer of sadness and grief…an emotional turmoil, which I could only barely endure. Well…mixing these feelings with another wave of fever and pain, seasoned with the incapacity of tolerating screen time, adding the suffocating sensation of loneliness….et voilà! The perfect recipe for a day in hell was created! 🙄

In order to cope with my emotions, I found myself drowning in my fantasies of teenage Severus and my undeniably self-inserted OC Jules…rewriting one of their short fictional scenes. Again, Severus was tormented by his own insecurities, getting carried away in self-loathing. I don’t know, how many times I’ve already written scenes like these. Jules encourages Severus to stay resilient, praising him for all those traits, which he only identifies as his flaws and weaknesses. But for Jules, there’s so much beauty, so much strength in his imperfections. She’s making his blemishes look like the most loveable attributes of Severus’ personality with her passionate speech.

When I wrote this little scene, I recognised something: I already knew, that I’m identifying myself a lot with Severus…but Jules’ words of encouragement and consolation to her beloved friend Sevy…well, they’re are also things, I would crave to hear for myself (how pathetic, huh?!). But since I’m struggling immensely with the acceptance of my own insecurities and fears, I’m not able to reassure myself of my own worth. It’s just not on the table for me!

So…I’ll just keep on telling Severus in my stories, that he deserves nothing less than the whole world…and that Jules will always try to make him feel loved and cared for. She will never stop to compare his flaws with her own weaknesses by explaining to him, how perfectly they’re matching. Jules will never grow tired to assure Severus, that his cynicism is the perfect complement to her sense of sarcasm. For the Slytherin girl, it's a clear sign for Sevy’s extremely high intellect, which is also something, that she adores about her friend. In Jules’ eyes, his bitterness mirrors a form of hypersensitivity, a characteristic, which she knows so well from herself. That’s why she’s acting so empathetically with Severus, whenever he’s suffering with his life…and Jules is convinced, that sharing those feelings will make them less unbearable! The girl even praises Severus’ stubbornness by telling him, that she’s enjoying every good and intelligent argument with him to clear the air between them. All together, Severus’ imperfections are pure perfection to the hopelessly devoted (and obviously love-struck 😅) girl.

I’m aware of the overdramatic nature and the unnecessary fluffiness of my short stories, but that’s the reason, why I’m writing them for my eyes only. It’s my form of a coping mechanism…the only way of allowing myself some kind of self-assurance and comfort…through Severus!

Some time ago, I found an artist here on tumblr, who made me fall head over heels for her tender style of drawing my beloved dungeon bat. Especially an artwork of her interpretation of the younger Snape made my heart ache with longing for him, so of course, I just had to commission @pssherri for an illustration of Severus and my OC Jules in their teenage years.

Sonja, you did an amazing job with this project and I can’t express, how grateful I am for your kindness and the dedication to your profession! It was a pleasure to cooperate with you on this idea of mine and I hope, you’ll be open to work on more of my requests some day. Thank you for everything, my dear!

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

#Severus x Julia #Sevy x Jules #Severus x OC #fuck me/cfs #commissioning artwork is my goddamn coping mechanism #this is my red carpet for all the artists of snape fandom #i love severus #he’s by my side for 21 years now #21 years and still counting #i have a soft spot for young sevy #i have a soft spot for young severus #teen severus snape #severus snape #snape #i love snape #snape love #pro snape #i would protect him with my life #snape content #pro severus snape #severus snape art #snape art #snart #severus fanart #severus art #severus #i’d kill for him #i’d die for him #mecfs #writing is my coping mechanism

[rosemaidenvixen]

Little bit of background on some of the name based symbolism I've got going on in the sunshine au.

First is Jim. His name means supplanter, as it was derived from a character in the bible who stole his brother's inheritance by impersonating him. This is emphasized by Jim being a Junior, he's literally a replacement for James Sr. The irony here is that Jim is a far improvement from his father, he's kind and selfless where his father is petty and selfish. Jim may be a supplanter but he's a welcome one.

Going further into this, I've left it ambiguous whether "Lake" is Barbara's maiden name or one they got from James, so the reader can interpret it whatever way they want. But I really like the idea that it was James' name first, but Barbara and Jim stole it and made it their own. Dr. Lake is Barbara's professional nom de plume, James spent ten years whining about how the world screwed him over while Barbara became a professional in that time. And like I said, the younger James Lake is a vast improvement over the elder.

James has become redundant in every sense of the word.

Next up is Mary, her name is also biblically derived and means bitterness (among other things but bitterness is what I decided to go with). But Mary isn't bitter, she's fiery and passionate. These things make her who she is and what drives her forward.

Toby, short for Tobias, means god its good (a lot of bible names here apparently) and most of the time Toby strives to live up to this. He does is best to be the best ever wingman and sidekick. He doesn't need the spotlight himself to be happy, he's glad to support his friends. But even he can get angry and upset sometimes, especially with his friends choices. He learns that getting mad at the others and criticizing their choices doesn't make him a bad friend.

And these last two might be the most on the nose when it comes to ironic symbolism.

Claire means light and bright. But while her name evokes light Claire wields the powers of shadow and darkness, struggling not to sink too deep into the darkness herself more than a few times.

Darci means dark, and not only is she the opposite of Claire in her name, she contrasts her in that her arc will be learning about wielding the power of light. But just because Darci's a warrior of the light doesn't mean she won't struggle with her role just as much as Claire.

Because light isn't purely good any more than darkness is pure evil. Hence why team Trollhunters has both a champion of light and darkness. True balance involves both.

#tales of arcadia #trollhunters #jim lake jr #claire nuñez #toby domzalski #darci scott #mary wang #sunshine au #between daylight and darkness #behind the scenes #director's commentary #rmvspeaks

[bonny-kookoo]

Can we maybe see Snowball Princess reacting to Jin coming back?

Warning for angst, idk why it got angsty

You've never been very good with time.

Even when you were younger, you've always struggled with telling how much time has or will pass. It never got better the older you got- and especially nowadays, you've kind of given up on trying to learn such a skill altogether.

You didn't have to.

Yoongi took care of you- most of the time. When he had to go to his own basic training, you had to stay alone with staff- and that period of time was enough to.. change you, as the producer and rapper notices quite quickly.

You've become.. calmer. Quieter.

In order not to unnerve any of the other members, Yoongi had kept that to himself however- not quite thinking that one trough, since Seokjin’s discharge was still so far away. To him, this change has become the norm by now. He doesn't notice it any longer.

But now, Jin is back. And of course- he wants to see you.

He can't help but smile as he enters his apartment- it's obvious that you've been occupying it occasionally, blankets and pillows and other little items he doesn't remember being there. It's nice to see that you took everyone's invitation and advice to seek out their homes whenever you'd miss any of them- but what he's now curious of, is where are you right now?

Jin worried this would happen at some point with him gone.

He's been one of the people to always manage things so that you'd never feel like a spectator, always trying to include you to make you feel like an important part even if you had to be away from them here and there. But with him gone, these habits must've been neglected- because he can't get a hold of you now.

Yoongi informs him that you're at his place- but that reassurance doesn't last long, because he notices that once he enters the producer's apartment, you're sleeping.

It's not at all your usual routine.

"She.. now that you mention it, she has been sleeping a lot more these days." Yoongi notes, most likely not having noticed this change much since he continued to be close to you the entire time the other members were gone.

But to Jin, who hadn't had that luxury of visiting you often due to both company restrictions and time, the change to him is..

more than drastic.

He wakes you up with a hand on your shoulder, and once you do spot him and realize that he's back, your tail instantly begins to wag. But you don't tackle him down like you would've done before his enlistment period- you instead hug him tightly, simply wanting to be held for the moment.

"You're still sleeping, basically." He teases, though he can't hide his slight concern over it. "Let's have breakfast tomorrow, yeah?" He asks, and you shake your head at that, continuing to cling to him. "Hey- I'll be back tomorrow morning, promise!" He says, but you stubbornly shake your head. "Well, I guess I'll steal her for the night?" He laughs into Yoongis direction, who simply nods and smiles.

And while Seokjin still worries about the change in you, and what that might mean, tonight, he finally sleeps at home, with you close.

Just how it's supposed to be.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #seokjin imagine #seokjin x reader #jin x reader #bts jin imagine #jin imagine

[nordickies]

Your takes on the various relationships between the Nordics are so good that I can’t help but asking you about Denmark and Sweden! Do you think they might have a relationship that gives them something they can’t get from anyone else? Can they be open with each other considering their long rivalry?

To me, they're "old men" with lots of life wisdom and experience on their back. But they're still the same rebellious rascals who don't know how to express their love for each other through words. While they're the traditional heads of the family, they seem to regress to their irresponsible teenage selves, who will wrestle and prank each other when put into the same room.

Needless to say, they have had quite the journey. Their different personalities, goals, and perspectives caused them quite a deep rift in the past, but they have never despised each other; their feud was just the only way to let out their frustrations about their circumstances. In their most vulnerable, emotional state, they felt hurt and betrayed by the other, leading to grudges. But they never wanted to bring their brother down. They only wanted the other to understand their pain and how unfair they felt about their situation. To make them feel even an ounce of the pain they have felt. But even with all the fighting, they had a deep unspoken trust and care for each other; they were just pissed that the other didn't see it.

Sweden has always had a strong will, and he needs to walk his own path on his own accord, or he'll get rowdy. He has always had the drive to make something great out of himself, and perhaps in his youth, this manifested as jealousy for Denmark. Den always seemed to be one step ahead. Perhaps it always felt like nothing escaped Den; he knew everyone's secrets, and you couldn't hide anything from him. And imagine how much that must have annoyed angsty teenage Sweden. He doesn't like to be told what to do, but the Dane always had an opinion on anything he did (and he still does). Sweden needed to learn to ignore it and not let it get under his skin, but he sometimes still struggles with it. Something about Denmark explicitly pointing out his flaws hurt more than anything else.

Meanwhile, Sweden's thick-headedness has always frustrated Denmark to no end. Swe can't accept help or consider he may be wrong at times; it's his black-and-white thinking on certain aspects. In his youth, Sweden did things the hard way - just so that he could oppose Denmark. Perhaps the Dane feels he needs to get Swe to loosen up. Denmark doesn't understand why Sweden can't just let him help. He doesn't understand why doing things on his own is so important to him. Denmark also finds Sweden rather dramatic; mistakes and oversights can make Swe blow things out of proportion and cause friction with his friends. To him, the Swede is just a younger brother who thinks too highly of himself and can be too self-centered at times, which he isn't afraid to point out.

Speaking of which, Denmark is really just a typical older brother. He will call Sweden names and embarrass him for a lifetime, push or forcefully hug him, hide and steal his things - constantly testing Sweden's patience to the limit. But it's only Den who can do this; he wouldn't tolerate anyone else outside the family annoying Sweden. However, Sweden isn't without his flaws either. He certainly likes to growl back at Denmark, but he manages to do it so discreetly that he never gets the blame. That's pretty much Swe's tactic: seek attention and sympathy points from others whenever Denmark is annoying him. He usually turns people against Denmark and blames him for everything, even when Den has had nothing to do with it. Who else would get the blame but the oldest sibling, anyway? Still, Sweden gets extremely defensive if someone pesters his brother and steps in if someone is seeking a fight with him, surprising everyone else

The brothers recognize they're acting childish and harsh, but they can't explain why they keep doing it. Maybe Denmark and Sweden don't nag or yell at others, so naturally, they do it with each other. But they can also be unapologetically themselves. Den and Swe don't care if they are annoying or bothersome to the other; more than anything, they deserve it! They have seen each other's worst sides and put up with it all, meaning nothing can shatter their bond anymore. And it's oddly comforting, in a way. They still test each other and quarrel about incidental things but find comfort in each other's company anyway. All the work they had to put into accepting each other and trying to understand the other's perspective has paid off. Deep down, they have immense respect for their brother. In their youth, they never really considered that their interests and goals were so surprisingly similar.

They both like slow living, as neither is as adventurous as Norway or as adrenaline-seeking as Finland. They want their slow mornings and take a moment to read the morning news. Take their deserved breaks at work and get home early to cozy up. Perhaps their ideal day is just sitting for coffee and watching the world go by. Spend a moment staring at construction projects downtown and pondering about them. They walk around the park and talk about the various projects they need to finish around the house, how the roof should be fixed and the grass should be mowed. At the same time, they do not shy away from brutal honesty and expressing their opinions about each other. In brotherly fashion, they play together, piss each other off, cheat during games, steal each others' food, seek sincere advice, scold each other, and make sacrifices when the other needs them.

I think they still struggle a bit with vulnerability, and when they have troubles, they both turn to Norway's advice out of old habits. It just feels easier opening up to him for some reason. Den and Swe have needed to learn and respect each other's differences and rebuild the trust they have lost so many times. It's just a matter of daring to open up and get out of their comfort zones, forcing themselves to understand the other's point of view.

They share a special kind of experienced wisdom none of the other Nordics have quite attained. Life took them on two different roads, but they found each other in the end. As much as they wanted to differentiate from each other in their youth, they were united by their similarities and kinship by the end. It just required a lot of maturing from both of them. Maybe uniting after their past grudges is the most significant accomplishment, and thus, their relationship nowadays means a lot to both of them (even if they won't admit it).

Other relationship breakdowns Norway/Denmark II Norway/Sweden

#hws denmark #hws sweden #headcanons #thank you so much anon <33 #sorry this turned into a ramble rather than easy-to-read summary. oh well

[chronicallyonlinewriter]

👻🦈!

👻 What is your wildest headcanon? I don't know that I truly have any ~wild headcanons. A lot of the ones I do have are based around my own OCs, so probably aren't that interesting to the general fandom. But a couple of fun ones I have:

1.) Everyone in Jackson knows to go to Eugene for weed - it's the settlement's worst-kept secret. And, I mean, it's not like it's illegal anymore, and the council doesn't have any specific rules against it, but Eugene still prefers to operate behind closed doors, and everyone is fine with that. It only becomes an issue when the younger teens get their hands on some, then suddenly parents are complaining about it, and Maria is highly annoyed about that but hesitant to really step in, at least in an official capacity, because she doesn't want to burn bridges with her own weed connection. (Privately, she'll tell Eugene to knock that shit off.) 2.) Speaking of Eugene, there are some patrol members that think his relationship with Dina is a little weird, and have concerns about it. Just like, "It's a little odd, right? They hang out outside of patrol. That's weird, isn't it?" Meanwhile, Dina just reminds Eugene of the daughter he left behind, and they spend time together while he teaches her about electronics and '80s speed metal. Joel is the only one who kind of 'gets it' - "they're fine, leave 'em alone." 3.) If anyone at the Tipsy Bison tries to play REM's It's the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine) on the jukebox, they either have to take an automatic ban from the bar for a week, or spend the next week wearing the stupid hat that they otherwise keep on the bear head (which changes a lot, because they dress it up seasonally). They could just take the song out of the jukebox entirely, but no one has ever brought that up as a solution. Tommy has worn the hat twice.

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write? For me, personally, I struggle with both Tommy and Maria - but especially Tommy. I'm no @march-flowerr, I have yet to really nail him as a character, but I try.

❤️

#the last of us #tlou #ao3 #fanfic #joel miller #fanfiction #headcanon #tlou headcanon #Tommy Miller #The Tipsy Bison

[oh-shtars]

RFTS!AU AskBox #4

Me to @signed-sapphire for the legendary number of 50 Questions Galore they sent me:

Heads up though, you might notice there’s certain questions skipped. I’m either not able to answer some of the asks at all OR they’re either some art requests that I haven’t finished and will post in future posts. So I had to skip them for this post unfortunately…. I apologise as such. 😅

Anyways, let’s get speeding through them shall we?

1. How do you plan to show the songs?

It should be question 6 of this post here. :)

……

2. How many songs do you plan to have in RFTS?

4 or more. Depends on what I come up with.

……..

3. What ‘vibe’ would each song have?

Uhhhhhhh, idk tbh. I’m really just going with the flow of what this story brings me. You can’t wait to see what the RFTS!plot has in store? Yeah, me too.

……..

4. Who’s voicing Valentino and the main cast?

For Valentino, I’m not sure. I’m debating whether it should be younger Bambi or Ronno’s VA. But he basically has an actual kid’s voice this time rather than a deep-sounding one. (Because honestly, I found that a bit weird personally). For the the other characters, I don’t really mind the voices they have canonically.

And I think I’ve mentioned this before, but even though Sueño can’t speak, I could hear him singing this in this voice hypothetically.

………..

5. Write or draw any cute interaction between Ashueño!

Mk :3

………

6. I know Asha will have a different outfit by the end, but do you have different designs for anyone else?

Yeah, I do actually. Some characters have a different outfit to better reflect their current context. (Like how Sakina would have work clothes similar to Asha.) But I don’t want to reveal most of them at the moment since I would like to keep them a secret for now.

……

7. Some Gabo doodles, if you don’t mind. I rarely see the short king in any Wish Art.

Fiiiiine.

His design makes a lot more sense if you were me and you knew the context. Take this art with whatever theories you guys can throw at me 😂

……. 10. What made Amaya fall in love with Magnifico? What changed?

Amaya had a family who greatly discouraged her interest in studying magic and potions since it’s against what their family has done for generations. Meanwhile, Magnifico who was adopted as Rosas’ prince, is expected to learn magic but COULDN’T because he struggles to do so since he hasn’t moved on from his trauma.

When these guys were around 16-15 years old, they were mutual best friends. Mag offers Amaya to read from his magic books while he finds comfort in just having a genuine friend who doesn’t remind or push expectations onto him that he hears everyday in the castle. She’s like an escape from the stresses he has in there.

In their future years, Amaya grew to fall in love with someone who promised her the world if she only asked for it. She finds bits of herself in Mag, as both were people with crushed dreams that deserve better. (In their POV anyway.)

Falling in love was not at all what she expected since she used to believe sympathy would only hold her back from exploring the limits of magic. But you know, Amaya’s as much as a tragic character as Magnifico is.

…….

11. Who fell first and who fell harder between those two?

Is it possible to say that RFTS!Magnifico is both?

……..

12. Any fun fact about the Royal Couple? (You can tell who I’m most invested in. lol.)

The only reason Espino, the royal cat, is in the castle is because Amaya wanted him around. Otherwise, if it were up to Mag, that cat is out to the streets. He’s not very fond of animals and he considers them as pests. Though, Espino gets small bonus points from Magnifico just because he keeps the castle clear from mice which he especially hates.

(Good to know you’re enjoying ‘Grand Despair’ while it lasts :)

……

13. This may be weird but…Body Swap! How would Hopes and Dreams react?

Asha would have zero idea how to get star magic under control. Meanwhile, Sueño finds an interesting realisation.

……..

14. What’s your favourite fanart piece of your AU?

I LOVE all of them so much!! They’re all made by very amazing artists!! I’m so happy to see these silly characters I’ve made be brought to life in someone else’s style. 💖💖

Mere words can’t express this joy enough. I hope you all would love the final chapters once they do come out as much as you loved seeing content of them now. X3

……..

15. Are you telling your story via writing or art of word dump?

I’m planning to share it in chapters like how Anny and everyone else has been doing. Plus some more sketches I would keep making of them obviously.

………

17. Draw Ashueño dressed as another Disney couple!

Hehehehehe guess whooo~ 🙃

………

19. Young!Sueño!

Which one? 🙃

Awww, good times back then when the little guy is still figuring out the forms he likes….

…… 20. Young!Royal Couple!

Mini Magnifico would rather drown himself or drink snake venom than call Oliver his dad- ………

22. Give some more lore on Asha’s father. Are you keeping him as close to the source material as possible? Will we see him in flashbacks or something?

You’ll definitely get to see Tomás at certain points in the story. Either in the short prologue, mentions and flashbacks. He’s generally a friendly guy but at the same time, is also assertive to defend what he thinks is wrong. But even though his life was cut short, Tomás ended up inspiring more people than he thinks. Especially his old friend, Sabino, who hasn’t given another wish or attended any more wish ceremonies after his death.

I don’t think we really knew much about Asha’s father at all in the canon movie, but I’ll pretty much be close to what is depicted there already with some more detail on how he made an influence in the lives of those he loves.

………

23. Give Sueño a stuffed toy for him to cuddle with. He deserves it <3

He adores it so much 💖💖

……….

24. More lore about the Astral Realm!

Not all Wishing Stars have the strong desire to venture down into the human realm someday and that’s completely fine. They can still guide their wishmaker from above. But for those who do want to, they need to answer one important question first:

“Why do you grant wishes?”

Since they would be going down to earth by themselves ALONE with none of their elders to guide them this time, their answer to this question serves as their anchor in case they get lost or distracted. Answers do vary and some may be the same among stars, but that’s fine. As long as they’re sincere with all their core on their answer. Some examples may be: “I like to see them reach their very best and reap their deserved rewards.” Or “I like watching them journey and discover themselves.”

……….

25. SNEAK PEAKS!!

This scene is one of my dotpoints I came up with but I’m not so sure anymore if that would still fit in and whether I should scrap it. Regardless, I thought this would be a nice little thing to show you all. Proof that I’m indeed working on it 😅

(Actually, this sounds so cute to draw. Feel welcome to try and do so if you want to, my fellow artists ^^)

…… 26. How does Magnifico’s magic work?

I made a whole post on this :3

………

27. Where did Amaya learn potions?

She’s self-taught mostly. But I also did mention that Mag generously lets her borrow what is meant to be his books of magic soooo, he played a role on that as well.

……

29. What’s Amaya’s opinion on the other Wish AU Mags?

I’m not exactly sure how different her opinions would be on each of them since I think we all decided to have our fun with Magnifico just being a shameless show-off and fun evil villain. I’ll try though.

Amaya would think KOW!Mag reminds her a lot of her own husband, also short-tempered and a disgustingly sweet romantic at times. She’s kind of a play-hard-to-get girl though 😂. One thing she does notice is that what WRTS!, Wish Granted! And KOW!Mag have in common is how loud they are with their ceremonies. Is that a universal Magnifico thing? Eh. There sure is a lot of interesting knowledge to learn from these universes. Hmmm.

TKoRaT!Maggy has that same pained look that falls on RFTS!Mag whenever he’s sulking by himself and needs time alone. Usually it’s because of his old village trauma. It’s an intriguing but ever so familiar cycle she recognises well.

Meanwhile. TFS!Mag is……different, she would say. Not exactly good different. I kinda imagine her eyeing this guy like a cat. This Mag just gives off a very different vibe of non-ruthlessness(?) that she’s not used to.

……..

30. Same for Mag, but vice versa.

RFTS!Mag gets very very very familiar vibes with KOW! And Wish Granted!Amaya. He finds it slightly amusing since it feels like his wife just became a part of some triplets. (He jokingly asked RFTS!Amaya if she had any sisters she never told him. The woman wasn’t amused. She doesn’t really like being reminded of her family.) I’m sorry TKoRaT! And TFS!Amaya, but you’ve made the decision to adopt Asha as your daughter and so he thinks lower of you now. Although…the TKoRaT!couple might just get to redeem themselves for that since they sound interesting enough. They’re going to have the ditch the girl though at some point.

WRTS!Amaya just feels off. He doesn’t know what exactly though? Is he losing his mind or something? Ugh, I think he could use devouring another Wish Bubble just in case…

……..

31. You know what, for Asha and Sueño too!

Oh boy, here we go. 😂

Asha will NOT be able to handle Wish Granted!Star’s energy. It’s so different from the silent but still lively conversations she has with her Starboy. Star just can’t bring himself to stop talking, can he? 😅 Asha thinks WRTS!Aster and TKoRaT!Star are adorable. Cielo may be a bit much at times with his light teasing and flirting, but she’s aware he means well.

I could see Asha’s non-hesitant empathy, patience and genuine concern to Haedus would be a huge comfort for the poor guy. (Trust me, she’s done this plenty before.) She’s a bit surprised to see Naos and Nembus but I think they’d get along just fine. She’s pretty good with playing with kids from her experience with a mischievous Valentino. And lastly, KOW!Aster is a total sweetheart that she jokingly comments could rival Sueño’s. (That comment caught Sueño’s attention quickly lmao.)

MEANWHILE:

Sueño is more hesitant and unwilling at first to approach humans by his own accord. He’ll still keep a short distance buuuut… if they’re just another version of Asha, it can’t be that horrible, right?

KOW!Asha’s drawings are a familiar sight for him and he’s impressed that she could bring her own drawings to life. Same goes for WRTS!Asha with her magic wand. Maybe they’re friendly… Maybe they could both do that together :D He’s neutral with Wish Granted! And Aled’s Asha for now until he gets to know them better.

Sueño recognises that same shyness and timid nature in TKoRaT!Asha. (It’s weird how she does the same thing RFTS!Asha does of turning their head away and hiding behind their hair when he innocently just looks her way.)

And then there’s…….HER. TFS!Asha. Cielo talks about her a lot….😬. But you know, that girl scares him.

Unfortunately, Sueño is staying a relatively farther distance away from the last two Ashas I mentioned. Why? Idk, probably the fact that they’re the daughter of Mag and Amaya-

……….

32. *Gives Sueño an iPad with Duolingo on it* Here my child. Learn Spanish.

I have a feeling you did this so he could finally find out what his name, ‘Sueño’ translates into. Lol, nope. Not yet he’s not.

He still appreciates the gesture though, but the guy got distracted by the other cool features and apps this weird magical mirror-tablet thing(?) had and completely forgot all about the Owl app.

……

33. Will Asha ever attempt to learn Celestial? Maybe with a candle? Like Morse Code? Idk.

Idk. Speaking Celestial is really just stars exchanging screechy sound waves to each other telepathically like words, while their glowing sequences indicates the mood and tone of what they’re saying. Maybe if Asha comes to learn how to harness light magic on her own, she’ll be able to at least convey emotions such as happiness in it by controlling the brightness and duration of each flash.

…….

35. How are you planning out your story?

I usually think of what main message I’m trying to get across first and build the story around it. After some character and world-building stuff (that I keep adding to because procrastination), I put the key scenes I could think of in bullet-point format and then just think up some in-between scenes that could occur between those points.

Usually though, the most usual process is that a random concept/idea pops into my head and then I immediately type it down so I won’t forget it. It’s basically my thing now to organise the giant mess of reminders into comprehensive plot lines.

I’m not writing the story at this point. The story is choosing to expose itself to me XD

Another main thing I do is listen to my Spotify playlist of this AU, read the Wish Artbook, or rewatch a movie that has inspired the RFTS! plot in some way.

……..

36. Are there any kisses in your story?

Hmmmmm….. *glances at Ashueño and Amnifico*

Oh well, since you’ve asked me, I gueeeeess I’m unfortunately now going to have to remove all the kisses I had included since y’all are so desperate to know….. (/jk)

……..

38. Will the Royal Couple have villain transformations?

………..

39. What’s your take on the ‘eating wishes’ thing?

As I’ve mentioned in my last post on how the magic system works in the RFTS!AU, Magnifico eats wish essence to reverse the costly effects of using Curse Magic. To put it simply, he uses them to make him more mentally stable.

.,,,,,,,,

40. What Easter Eggs are you planning to put in your story?

Awwwww, where’s the fun in that? Find them yourselves >:)))

And who knows? Maybe certain fellow creators in the Wish Rewrite Fandom will make a reference in some of the chapters. Keep an eye out 😉

……..

42. What exactly does Asha’s job entail?

Being a king’s apprentice is a way to gain experience and learn how to use magic by the king himself, so you could use the attained knowledge as to however you want. Share the talent with Rosas or Go out into the world.

However, when Magnifico’s reign started, he forbade magic usage other than he and his wife with the claim that it’s for the greater good and safety for Rosas. (He kinda had a point since criminal activity and accidents did decrease in number after that rule.)

Since Mag doesn’t really need an apprentice, Asha is more of an assistant now, following in her dad’s footsteps before her. She’s tasked to do help with whatever Mag might need around his study such as keep the fire going or organise his papers. But Mag doesn’t really like having her around a lot, (since she asks a lot of questions about his wish-keeping system) so he purposefully tells her to go carry out outside tasks such as go into the garden and help the gardeners or something.

……..

43. Did Magnifico make Sueño’s bonds?

If I told you, would that make you more blood-thirsty enough to gather pitchforks and torches for his head? Because if you are, please don’t. I still need this guy to stir up conflict in my story :((

(You can have him all you want though once I’m done with him. Lmao.)

………

44. How was Rosas founded?

Nearly a century ago, the kingdom was first built. I’ve read in the Art book that Rosas was apparently named to reference ‘Beauty and the Beast.’

Like, ok….?

Anyways, I found that roses are meant to represent love, rebirth and beauty. So I decided to add more onto that than just have it as another reference. The kingdom’s founders wanted Rosas to be a place where people who are wary and feel outcasted by their homes can find and start a new beginning. To ‘Rebirth’ and have a second chance to find the ‘beauty and love’ in their lives again,

Blue and white were made the royal colours because the blue was meant to stand for trust and reliability and white for new beginnings. Symbolising the past kings and queens’ responsibility to have their talents in sorcery be used to serve the people who come here. Thus, Rosas’ citizens all are in a variety of different cultures.

……..

45. Over how many days does your story take?

I’m thinking within one month. It’s a race-against-time sort of thing where Asha needs to find out how to confront the Royal Couple before they do something horrible on Rosas’ celebration of its 100th anniversary, which is literally just a month away.

…….

46. What was your favourite part of Wish? Are you translating that to your AU?

I really really loved how Mag’s magic looked and how he went all evil-ish green as a tribute to past Disney villains. If we ignore the awkward transition he had from sympathetic to just plain psychotic, it’s a cool magic display. I kinda wished they went more full out on the final battle because it just felt so underwhelming asf.

I’m keeping the magical final battle but with more magical funsies. :D

…….

47. Least favourite part?

I’m frustrated how bland and empty the character interactions and emotional beats are since those kinds of moments are usually my favourite when it comes to movies.

Magnifico’s tragic loss of his village? “Pfft- What tragedy? We don’t need that in the movie’s 2nd half.”

Asha’s dead father? “Eh. We only needed him for a few mins and he’s non-existent from that point on.”

Valentino claims to be Asha’s helpful animal sidekick. “Did I mention I have a deep voice? Oh, and my butt’s a funny thing too. Did I already mention that my voice is loud and soooo deep??”

Simon’s betrayal? “Oh wow, that was a shock…. Anyways, wanna start a rebellion?”

OMG, Sakina’s wish is back!! “What was the wish about? Idk who cares.”

Asha’s friendship with Star doesn’t even feel that special to me?? GUYS, I felt more chemistry between Rapunzel and Pascal. COME ON, BUILD IT UP. DON’T JUST SAY ‘Awww, you and I are thinking the same thing~’ AND EXPECT ME TO BUY THAT.

……….

48. What’s your favourite aspect of the TFS!AU?

Idk why, but I like how there’s a unique twist in your AU on how Wishing Stars don’t have the best reputation to humans. It’s a nice subversion that makes it stand out a little more. :)) Because usually, the idea of wishing on stars is always seen as a positive thing but that’s not the case in this story. It’s intriguing to watch characters slowly realise that not everything is what it seems.

That, and the hilarious dynamic you’ve got going on between Cielo and Asha and how deep in denial they both are, even though it’s clear as day to the other TFS!cast. 😂

(Wouldn’t it be funny if TFS!Mag and Amaya also noticed? They may be going down a dark path but they’re not blind, girl.)

……..

50. What’s a boring fact about you?

Uhhhhhh…. I like organising stuff by colour for fun...? Like, I used to pour out a box of legos and sort through them as a kind of pastime. I still organise coloured pencils in rainbow order if I could too. 😅 ………

@annymation @uva124 @your-ne1ghbor @ficsinhistory @rascalentertainments @gracebethartacc @spectator-zee

It’s a long read, but I think you guys would enjoy going through it regardless. I hope so anyways.

Btw, thx for all the fun questions Bo! 💖 Might post some more regarding your other doodle requests that I’ve put to the side for now if you don’t mind. :))

#ask #reach for the stars au #rfts au #wish au #wish rewrite #wish starboy #wish asha #wish reimagined #wish magnifico #wish amaya #star x asha #asha x star #ashueño #Spotify #magnifico x amaya #au lore #au dump

[all2angels]

ok but dad gee and you’re like half his age and he’s your first time and his sweaty dad bod and and and #sorry

tw age-gap, gross descriptions, not physically active gee LMFAO

oh, dad gee, how ive missed you!

i'd love to just make him feel so guilty about it. telling him he's a bad man (house of wolves reference) for wanting to do it with someone so much younger than him. i want to degrade him, ok?

of course, the age gap does not stop you two from doing it, it being your first time as well. because you made a fuss about wanting to try it and gerard can't control himself, if anything his dick controls him. he'd do anything for you as long as it gets him laid. but he'd never admit that.

imagine his nervous face when you point out that he could literally be your dad 🥺 telling him he's a gross nasty old man that needs to be locked up! he'd get super embarrassed and tell you not to say such things that aren't true, but he worries deep down that they were factual.

your first time with him though, he really tried to make it special. as much as he can, anyways. he lit up some scented candles and dimmed the lights (dimming the lights is such a rich people thing but n e way)

he'd be super super gentle with you, too. leaving trail marks all over you and touching every possible are of your skin. he can't wait, he's rock hard fucking solid and it doesn't help that you keep teasing his clothed cock with your knee.

gerard promised to do all the right things, to prep you, make sure you're lubed up, etc, but since it was your first time it was a little bit of a struggle, but the fact his dick wasn't all that definitely helped! it's like u were made for each other. (half srs half j)

all the time while he was thrusting into you, you could hear his already exhausted groans and breaths, his sweat was dripping down to you and his hair was super wet. he didn't go that fast, one reason being not wanting to hurt you and the other being he physically can't.

this would've been a turn off for anyone else. not to you. this show he was putting on was so... hot.

you both ended up enjoying yourselves way too much, he lazily dragged you over to his arms, you both were sticky but he mumbled something about taking a break and resting before aftercare. you kissed his forehead and waited for him to recover so that u could take a bath together.

#THIS BECAME SWEETER THAN I WANTED IT TO BE lowkeym. #gerard way x reader #gerard way smut #mcr x reader #mcr smut #gerard way #my chemical romance x reader #2019 gerard way #all2angels

[night-dragon937]

gods listening to music of artists that i've gone and seen in concert/at raves and just like. reliving the euphoria of the moment when i was there at the live performance like. obviously sitting at my desk with my headphones is not the same as being at a rave or concert but i can kind of capture some of the memory and those good feels are just smth else

#blog post #tw ahead im gonna go on about some dark shit #kind of? idk #like so when i was younger and struggling #by which i mean when i was suicidal from ages 9-18 #one thing i tried when i was 15-18 was making a bucket list and essentially it was stuff i wanted to do before i died because saying #'im at least gonna live to do these things' was SO much easier than saying 'im gonna live the rest of my life' back then #and on that list was going to several concerts (all of which i've done now!!) and like tbh i had my doubts like is a concert good enough #to keep living for (yes) and like what happens after i see these bands in concert (i wait for them to tour again and see them again duh) #(and also see other bands) #and i wish i could go back in time to past us and be like. u were so right. seeing these groups/artists in concert (and the ones i like now #and hadn't heard of back then) is SOO worth it #im so glad i have been alive to go to all the concerts and the rave that i went to in the past year and a half it was so so good #and im so fuckin excited to go to more #there's at least two concerts im planning on going to this spring plus a rave im considering going to (its a three hour drive one way so #idk yet) plus our top favorite band for years is hinting at releasing new music which means a tour!! #im just gettin the feels because im remembering good memories and so fuckin excited to make more good memories #im so glad im alive and honestly that brings tears to my eyes that i can say that totally honestly now #like. i have a cat! i am reconnecting with family i didnt use to be close with! im working on cutting off toxic family! im working on #health issues which is very good. im out as queer and im so happy and proud of that. i have several hyperfixations i love consuming and #cosplaying. cosplaying!! i have so much fun making tiktoks and going to cons and putting everything together its so great!! im starting to #work on my big huge writing project with my coauthors for the first time in years and im soooo excited to revive that old hyperfixation and #share it!! i have an awesome partner who i care very much about and while i recently cut off some toxic friends i have plenty actual #friends that im so glad to have!! #im currently at a job that pays well and that i enjoy which is a win for me and i might possibly be in a position to go back to college #soon which means going into my preferred field which im SO stoked for!! and im actually really excited to go back to college. when we were #in person i had such a great experience and i cant wait to go back #ough

[merakiui]

step-brother riddle with a camgirl step-sister……. (and also the two of you hate each other! :) this is a crucial detail.)

you often stream when your parents and riddle are out of the house. sometimes riddle’s gone off to the library to study or he’s meeting up with trey and che’nya while your parents go out to a social gathering. the times in which you have the house to yourself are few and far between, as mama rosehearts hardly lets you do anything unless you give her specific details of where you intend to go and how long you’ll be there and what you’ll be doing. so when you are afforded alone time, you dedicate it to hours-long streams.

for the time being, you’ve made a decent amount of money posting lewd photos to your account, but it’s the streams that bring in the most money. your viewers are from all over. from the guy (floyd) who pays absurd amounts of donations and says the most vulgar things in your chat, starting fights when anyone says something he disagrees with, to the guy who types in all lowercase and gamer lingo (idia), you have your fair share of regulars, all of whom tune in for your rare streams.

no one’s found out about your secret side hobby yet. no one…except riddle. he comes home early from his outing with trey and che’nya, always determined to be back before his mother returns home so that it can appear as if he merely went to the library, studied, and returned home in time for dinner. and normally you’re able to plan around riddle’s annoyingly perfect schedules. this time, however, you fail to remember he mentioned he’d be going out with friends rather than studying; and somehow you fail to hear the door opening and closing downstairs while you’re up in your room, riding a monster dildo (a gift from a very generous viewer) in front of your webcam.

you and riddle have never gotten along. even when your parents married, the two of you tried (and failed) to tolerate one another and it didn’t work. so now you avoid each other when you can, opting to be cordial for courtesy’s sake if you happen to cross paths at home. so when riddle goes up to your room to deliver some macarons trey insisted he take home for you (trey’s too nice, riddle thinks; if it were up to him you wouldn’t get any sweets. >:p), he expects you to be reading a magazine or painting your nails or talking on the phone…whatever girls like you do, he doesn’t know! what he doesn’t expect is to walk in on you cumming around a big, thick dildo while you’re dressed in such inappropriate attire!! and what’s worse is that you’re broadcasting it to strangers online! have you no shame?!

that day riddle learns his step-sister has a very…unique hobby. it’s also the day he starts looking at you from a new angle. :) and it’s also the day his nrc peers who watch you learn riddle has a cute step-sister. >:)

#meraki mumbles #n/sfw #tw: stepcest #floyd learns you’re riddle’s sibling and woooo rip riddle #floyd is going to have so much fun with this new material #he teases riddle to hell and back #it’s his goal to get a video of him fucking you so that he can send it to riddle and be like ‘your lil sis is super tight <3’ #all so riddle is stuck with the mental image of you struggling to take a dick AAAAAAAAAA #floyd calls you a little sister but you’re only younger by a few months T-T #‘she’s my sister i only see her as that you gross pervert!!!’ riddle says every time floyd calls him a siscon #riddle is in denial and floyd is here to witness the chaos T-T #alternatively it’s even worse if it’s jade #jade and riddle are on friendly terms #riddle doesn’t trust him but he knows he’s reliable #so when jade leans over in alchemy class and whispers ‘does your sister prefer lace or satin lingerie?’ #riddle’s eyes go so wide and he chokes on the air and T-T jade stop teasing him… :(

[cerise-on-top]

Cried on the train today, then thought of this! This is just me coping to the highest degree again, but I thought other people might like this as well!

Nikolai as a Father

First off, he’d likely be absent rather often. He was a soldier, he runs a PMC, he’s a busy man through and through. That’s why he won’t be able to see you as often as he’d like. He’d have loved to see all your accomplishments, meeting your first partner and intimidating them, your graduation, the first time you performed on stage, but it wasn’t possible due to work. He does feel bad about it, but he can’t help it. He will try to make it up to you somehow, though he’d understand if you couldn’t forgive him. He does try to be there for you whenever he can, visiting you whenever possible, but you will be apart from each other more often than not. However, if you ever have any suggestions regarding what you’d like to do together, he’s all ears. He has enough money to grant you any wish like that. You wanna go to Japan? You want a boat trip? You wanna go karaoke? It’s all possible, as long as he gets to experience those things with you. He really does wanna make up for the lost time.

He’s a pretty relaxed kind of father. The kind that would allow you a sip of beer when you were young. He’d have no problems with you drinking, as long as it doesn’t get out of hand. You should be responsible about that sort of thing. But if you ever wanted to invite a friend over to drink a bit, then he’d have no problem with getting the booze for you. Nothing too strong while you’re still young, of course, but he gets it. You’re young, you want to be stupid and do foolish things. He was like that too when he was younger, so he won’t stop you. In fact, he’ll even drive to the nearest fast food restaurant and get you and your friend something to eat. Sometimes he might cook himself, though. Nikolai’s food is downright godly, he can cook just about anything and cook it well too. As long as you don’t invite a friend over to get blackout drunk every weekend, all is good.

I think he’d probably lie to you about his job when you’re younger. You don’t need to know that he kills people for a living. You can know that he does paperwork, though. So he’d likely tell you he works an office job that has him traveling a lot. Speaking of traveling, he’ll always bring you a souvenir. That could range from a small snow globe to a nice T-shirt he found that you might like. He may be busy, but he does think about you very often. This continues into adulthood as well. If he can’t see you and give it to you in person then he’ll just mail it to you. Won’t ever allow you to work in the same field he does, though. You’re too sweet to work as a mercenary. You can become anything you want to be, but he’ll do what he can to not have you work in the military or in a PMC. He wants you to live and live well. There are no exceptions to this. He knows you might not listen to him, but he’ll tell you over and over again that those kinds of jobs are not what you might think they are. He doesn’t tell you what to do very often, but you should listen to him when he does. He’s an older man, who actually knows what he’s talking about. Besides, he only means well when it comes to you.

A very accepting father, in all honesty. You’re gay? You’re trans? He’s very supportive of you. Besides, it doesn’t matter who you bring home, he’s gonna try to intimidate them either way. Only the best of the best for you. If you ever find yourself some sleazebag, who won’t spoil you rotten like you deserve, then he’ll make sure that person will learn their lesson. He can be a very scary man when he wants to be. If you’re transmasc, then he’d delight in going clothes shopping with you and finding something that you look good in and that fits. He might even buy you a bomber jacket like he has so you can match. He’ll get you the fanciest suits too. Whatever you need, he’ll give it to you. If you’re transfem then he might not be the best suited candidate to go shopping with you. He can tell you what you look good in, but he might call someone like Laswell to help you find nice clothes that suit you well. However, he won’t save any money on anything. You know what you want? You can gladly have it. Nikolai will even pay for your surgeries as well. As long as you’re happy, he’s happy. No price is too high when it comes to your happiness. In fact, he probably has the means to get you a prescription for hormones as well. It might not be entirely legal, but it’s better than nothing if you have shitty doctors.

Likewise, if you come out to him as aromantic or asexual, he won’t mind. Sure, you might have to explain what that means, but once he understands he won’t make you feel bad for that sort of thing. Gives you a side hug and tells you that he’s glad he doesn’t have to worry about your heart being broken by some asshole who can’t appreciate you for who you are. Unfortunately, if you do come out to him as ace, he might make some puns about it. Nothing offensive, but he’s your father, he can’t help the urge to make awful dad jokes from time to time.

If you don’t know Russian then he’ll teach you. He’s a proud Russian, so he does want you to know the language. He can hire a teacher for you too, if you’d prefer that, but you won’t be spared. He’ll talk to you in Russian and compliment you on your progress. Besides, it’s never a mistake to know another language. If you do know Russian then he’ll speak it with you whenever he can. Yes, even when the likes of Price are around. Doesn’t matter if it comes off as rude, it just feels homey to him. It makes him feel at ease.

#cod #cod x reader #cod nikolai #nikolai x reader #listening to “A Trophy Fathers Trophy Son” hits different these days. I just can't bring myself to hate my father no matter what #anyway I want Nikolai to adopt me and help me through all of my struggles #I think some hugs from a father figure could heal some of my scars and make some of my demons go away #I don't even remember the last time my parents properly hugged me. to comfort me I mean #“Is this what you call a family” I almost cried at work today and I really had to pull myelf together to not start crying #one of my coworkers is a father and he reveres his daughter. I wonder if my father thought that highly of me too when I was younger #I'm not even sure he likes me anymore these days. It hurts so bad because I genuinely don't have very many people in my life #I don't wanna lose him too even if it doesn't seem like he cares about my mental wellbeing at all #I don't care that I'm venting in the tags right now I don't have anywhere else to vent anyway #I wish I had a father whose love I could actually feel. Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong? Am I just a shitty son? #I've been finding so much comfort in imagining Nikolai as a father figure as of late. Found family and he adopts me as his son #Haha I wonder what that says about me. I think I need a hug one of these days or I will genuinely fall apart. Everything is getting to much #But life goes on I suppose. I need to be strong. I can't afford to break down again

[dimdiamond]

My attempt to draw my headcanons for their body types (and their thoughts on them lol)

In which they're flirting:

In which they ask the wrong question:

The writing under the cut

Haddock's thought for Tintin: Blistering Barnacles! Look at him! He's like a Greek god sculptured by Michelangelo! Hiding such a fit body under his buggy clothes... and his abs... and his freckles... HE HAS FRECKLES EVERYWHERE! GOD! ARCHIE! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER! How do I dare standing next...

Tintin's thought for Haddock: Would.

Chang's thought for Chester: Good Heavens! All this muscle and fat and hair... and I lack all of them! I must look so ridiculous next to him... He is the epitome of handsomeness! Bet he doesn't even look at me as a man... more likely as a toothpick...

Chester's thought for Chang: *Error 403*

Chester: Hey! You lost weight! Good for you!

Haddock: Thanks! I'm glad all this running and chasing benefited me somewhere!

Chang: You have no hair!

Tintin: Shut up! You don't either!

Chang: At least mine is visible!

Tintin: You have no muscle!

Chang: I can still kick your bony ass!

Tintin: I don't get it! We're both red-haired! Why yours are visible?

Chester: Maybe because my red is darker and yours is more like strawberry blonde?

Tintin: What are you saying? Strawberries aren't blonde!

Chester: ...Have you ever been to a hairdresser...

Haddock: EAT SOMETHING! WHY ARE YOU STARVING YOURSELF?!

Chang's thought: I'M ALREADY EATING SO MUCH! SHUT UP! STOP ADDING SALT IN MY WOUND!

#i can't do digital art for now because i don't have my PC in this place #and for some time i won't be able to do nothing but pencil and ink sketches on paper #these are my headcanons anyway #tintin has a small body but he is fit and specifically his arms are more muscular than the rest body #he doesn't have any big complex with his body type but more with his barely visible hair and his height #haddock was more fit younger but then alcoholism and depression made him gain weight #and after meeting tintin he managed to lose much of the unwanted weight #so the relief and compliment from chester is exactly because the weight was tied to a bad phase for haddock #haddock being haddock has not much of a big idea of himself and that goes to his body too #chang was always thin and bony but after tibet he was severely underweight so he slowly tries to regain his previous weight #he manages that but his metabolism is like that so he doesn't gain weight easily and that will always be his body type #so he kinda has some issues with his body but it's mostly when he compares himself with other bodies #chester was always chubby and he has accepted a long time ago his body like that but doesn't believe that he is attractive #so yeah tintin and chang are actually comforting each other because they're like at least there's someone else understanding my struggle #yeah no one really gets them but they do #ufff i blabbered a lot thank you if you read this far have a cookie #tintin #captain haddock #archibald haddock #chang chong chen #captain chester #the adventures of tintin #haddotin #cheche #my art