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lucilleeee · 2 years

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Kingdom of Ash

Lucy can’t come to the phone right now… why?…. Cause she’s bawling her eyes out

I literally sobbed and ugly cried through bits of this book. The anticipation I had for this book was astounding and definitely lived up to its hype. Some of these notes I wrote as I was reading the book, some of them are from after I finished it

- Just imagining the bit where Rowan comes crashing out the window as if it was a movie/tv show…. Why has this series not been turned into one yet?!?

- “There couplings were brief and savage. Teeth and nails and snarling. And not just from Manon.” So Dorian is into the kinky stuff 😉😉😉

- “I didn’t crawl after maeve” “ I crawled after aelin” Lorcan is so misunderstood I just want my man to catch a break honestly 😭

- I love Sartaq, there’s just something about him that has me swooning

- Lorcan taking the blood oath to Aelin because he wants to be close to Elide 😭😭

- “Aedion is my pride” IM NOT CRYING YOU ARE

- Elide telling Lorcan she wouldn’t care if he died but then

- Elide rides across the field to FIND LORCAN BEFORE THE DAM COLLAPSES AND SAVES HIM

- Aelin using her power to stop the water, yasss that’s MY queen

- I’m honestly simping so hard for elorcan they have me in a chokehold

- Aedion talking to Evangeline before they go into battle, dude the tear ducts just exploded. I love the relationship between these two and like even though the world is falling apart around them he still has the strength to give her courage and hope that they will make it out alive

- “She had never had a brother, or a father. She hasn’t yet decided which one she would like Aedion to be.” My heart

- “Bring our people home Manon.”

- In my last post about empire of storms I said I hope Manon and the thirteen get a happy ending. Update: they did not

- I’m not going into this further at the moment because I will turn into a blubbering mess 😭

- Gavriel and Aedion reuniting only for Gavriel to DIE. I’m shattered

- I’m gonna have to call in sick to work because I honestly am so emotional

- “I think you might be my mate” AHHHHH FUCK

- Lorcan giving up his immortality for Elide omg 😭😭

- Elide coming up with the idea to defeat Erawan was so amazing and cunning I’m so proud of her, her development through these books has been my favourite by far

- So happy Aedion finally got to swear the blood oath to Aelin, and even in death she did the same for Gavriel

- Lord Lorcan Lochan. Has a nice ring to it 😉

- All of these characters went through hell and back, showed that it’s okay not to be okay and that with the right people behind you, you can accomplish anything

- Props to SJM for writing from like 10 different perspectives and making it flow

- I need to know what happens next for Dorian and Manon. Does she visit him? Do they get married? Like I need answers

I will admit it took me a while to get through the first few books but I’m so glad I stuck it out. Overall i enjoyed this book, and I’ll probably reread the series again soon

I love the feelings a good book can make you feel 🥰

#aedion ashryver #lysandra ennar #sjm books #aelin galythinius #lorcan salvaterre #kingdom of ash #elorcan #rowan whitethorn #dorian havilliard #chaol westfall #yrene towers #manon crochan #nesryn x sartaq #gavriel #fenrys moonbeam #throne of glass #elide lochan #terrasen

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probably-haven · 3 years

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Hello!

So I’m the anon who asked for more Archon War Venti headcanons and I just loved it! I really like reading your headcanons cuz some of them are similar to mine but mostly are headcanons that I didn’t think of so it really is nice to read and see your thoughts about Venti!

I feel like as if I’m asking too much but could you keep doing these types of headcanons? Like it doesn’t have to be Archon War headcanons but like some headcanons about Venti’s relationship with the Ragnvindrs and Gunnhildrs. Because the first Gunnhildr was the first one who prayed to Barbatos and the first Ragnvindr was his friend who left but came back and I really wanna hear your thoughts on that!

And I’ve decided to get off anon cuz you just replied to my texts and I wasn’t expecting that so I’ve got a short confidence boost that I am completely taking advantage of! And thanks for the advice! or uhh comment? observation? I’m not entirely sure but thank you for that! I’ve heard that be said to me a few times and I have been trying to be more, uhh, assertive so thanks for that!

rfouierjkhfkecs i actually came across information on Gunnhildr and the "Red-haired warrior" yesterday when i was doing more research into the rebellion against Decarabian and I was like "wow this would be really fucking fun to research and theorize on, but its too specific/niche to include unprompted no matter how much i want to" but bestie you prompted, and im literally so happy right now because I didn't think I'd ever really get the chance to post about them!

also lmao yeah, i tend to try and reply to as much as I can, since it's a good feeling when someone does and all. but yeah, no problem! I’m glad you felt confident enough to reveal XD.

This may be structured a bit more like analysis/theory/just citing canon things at first before it gets into a more headcanony format.

ehe i have so much free reign on this it's lovely

More Archon War Era Venti: one two three

spoilers for Venti's backstory and Diluc's(kinda, i think, just in case)

first things first, laying down some canon background because before yesterday i hadn't heard of either of them outside of that one cutscene.

the very reason Decarabian had his storm wall up in the first place was because at the time Andrius had declared war on him- and his tower, and the city of Mondstadt by extent, were basically constantly under attack by Andrius's blizzards, which since he was still alive back then, were a lot bigger and covered basically what seems to be the whole of Mondstadt outside the barrier.

This meant that people had two options. Live in the city under Decarabian's oppression, or live outside the barrier, and brave the blizzards of a warring god... which was not a good idea

but the Gunnhildr clan(not yet called that) tried- and they almost died because of it. In the midst of a blizzard, the clan chief's daughter, named Gunnhildr(which the clan would be named after later) sent out a prayer that was heard by a wandering wind spirit. And the faith of that prayer gave the spirit enough power to create a small shelter to protect them.

When her father past, she became the new leader and also a priestess. She would later lead the clan to fight Decarabian alongside four others. And basically the Gunnhildr Clan ended up as like sworn protectors of Mondstadt

as for the red-haired warrior, who is basically assumed to be the earliest known ancestor of the Ragnvindir clan(im gonna refer to as Ragnvindir for convenience sake, even though "Ragnvindir" is technically a different character from Vanessa's era)theres not much information on him, but heres what i have from the various wiki's

- he was a wanderer

- one of the first to use the sign of windblume to find other rebels(so he's intelligent)

- actively propped up the nameless bard so he could watch as the tower was destroyed

there's this little tidbit too from the Windblume Ode bow's description that im probably gonna talk about a considerable amount too: "Atop the ruins of the ancient tower, amidst the cheers, songs, and tears of those who had newly won their freedom. A red-haired warrior turned his back on the newborn god, hidden like a single raindrop in a tidal wave of humanity. He was first among those who passed the secret sign of Windblume, the one who wove threads of dawn throughout the long night. His name has since been lost to time, but his deeds are still remembered in song." followed later by "The fate of this clan will likely never change: they shall ever live in the darkness and bring forth the flame of dawn."

Now I'm going to start with the Ragnvindir(geez, why's it spelled like that tho)

My idea of his character is basically formed by a mix of Ragnvindir stereotypes and just generally analyzing text.

So what do we know about Ragnvindir's for sure? they are shady motherfuckers- or at least they rarely operate in the spotlight. also damn, these guys are more cursed than anemo vision wielders- like the only one who didn't canonically lose someone close to them was Crepus, but considering that Diluc doesn't exactly have a mom..... he probably did

so what do we know? - he was close with the nameless bard - he was intelligent - he likely operated primarily from the shadows "ever living in the darkness" - he was a wanderer - he abandoned Venti during the celebration - but his deeds were still remembered in song, so Venti and him were likely still close

now the question of the century: how will i choose to interpret "turned his back on the newborn god"? And honestly, I'm- not sure- at first i assumed he abandoned him completely- but Venti did still make sure to carry on his memory- which could just be Venti being Venti, but for the sake of sanity, this is how I'm interpreting it.

A lot of things happened to the Ragnvindir that day. He lost a friend, saw another become a god to replace the one they had conquered, and he saw his goal, his reason for being in Mondstadt, come to fruition. "see the world through my eyes" the bard had said, and the Ragnvindir had been a wanderer even before. Sure, the people had won freedom, and that was to be celebrated, but he's intelligent to recognize that people would likely see him as one of the key figures in leading the rebellion. And for him this was a solemn time, and ending to a chapter, and not being one to operate in the spotlight, the last thing he'd want is to be swept up in festivities and attention at a time like this.

It also likely didn't help that he's probably smart enough to understand the idea of "power corrupts," and seeing the wind sprite just readily accept the mantle of Archon was likely not the most comforting thing to happen in the given situation after all. But Decarabian was gone, and Andrius had ceased his blizzards, so without a word, he slipped into the crowd and left, a wanderer once more.

now back to Gunnhildr

she was the first to receive an anemo vision from Barbatos, no I do not take criticism on this "the power bestowed on her by Barbatos" like please, they basically said it.

It also mentions that she crowned Venti with laurels(symbol of vistory) after the battle- the book Biography of Gunnhildr additionally says "the Gunnhildr Clan will continue honoring the legacy of its ancestors and its duty to the Anemo Archon: to protect Mondstadt, the land and all who inhabit it, forever."

I really like this because it conveniently ties into my past headcanon about Venti granting visions to the people of Mondstadt and having them be the ones to erect wind barriers and defend the city in his absence.

So in the Archon War I like to imagine that the Gunnhildr clan had a lot of people who were actually granted visions and were basically in charge of protecting it from those who would attempt to ambush them.

Mondstadt essentially became known for this- the fact that the mortals within it were strong enough to fend off the force of a god without support from their own.

but regardless, Gunnhildr, as she had before, served as a priestess to Barbatos, the closest thing that Mondstadt had to a ruler, and yet she only took charge of prayer and protection.... i hate to just- equate them to their descendants- but to an extent- her role was kind of like a merge between Jean and Barbara- Except with a whole lot less structure.... i really dont want their characters to just be carbon copies of the descendants but- c'mon, the comparison was right there.

anyways besties- back to Venti so i can tie them in

The Archon War was one of the worst times for Venti in his entire life thus far. And the time immediately after Decarbian's fall, while Gunnhildr and the Ragnvindir were still alive, was the key period of time in which things could have gone very differently.

Venti is the god of freedom. That's a reoccurring theme and I think I've made that abundantly clear. But during this time, Venti was anything but free.

I've mentioned before how he would stay far from the city of Mondstadt so the shockwave of his death wouldn't reach him, should he fall.... well- Venti is new to a lot of things- godhood- humanity- war- freedom- and at this point he was trying hard to figure out how to be Mondstadt's god without becoming Decarabian, and while still being able to survive, and make sure they survived, and see the world for his friend, and carry on his friends legacy.

And this is a lot of stuff for what was once a carefree elemental being, and there were certain things that had to be done for this to happen. He couldn't just stay in Mondstadt, or he would grow weak and his people would be vulnerable to attack, but he couldn't abandon it, because despite being able to fend for themselves, there's always hat just in case. He couldn't stay in any one place outside of Mondstadt for very long or he'd be found and killed. He knew in order for Mondstadt to survive he would have to take an active role in the war, strengthen himself so he could defend Mondstadt, and thats exactly what he did.

He started by going after the less powerful gods, ones he had a chance at beating with the power he got from the Gunnhildr clan and the rest of Mond, and by wiping them out, he would grow stronger, so he kept it up- working his way up the metaphorical ladder.

but he couldn't let anyone near him either, because he knew just what would happen if he was attacked then. Were it not for Gunnhildr's prayer, the early years of the Archon War would have been without contest the loneliest time of his life, and there would be nothing he could do about it, bound by survival and his attachment to the legacy of his friend, constantly fearing for his life and going against his very nature as the god of freedom. Frankly thrust into that circumstance that early on, and having to face it alone, it's likely that Venti would have caved under the pressure and dropped his attachment to either his survival, or to his friends legacy... or just something entirely worse(isolation messes with brains) so I'm attributing the fact that he didn't do that to Gunnhildr's companionship, speaking to him and guiding him through it as he had guided her through the blizzard some time ago.

I also like to think that she's responsible for founding at least a number of the different celebrations that still happen in Mondstadt even now.

Ugh supportive warrior priestess- we stan

anyway meanwhile! we got the Ragnvindir

He hears about Venti taking part in the Archon war during his wanderings and returns to Mondstadt to check in, wary of what he might find.

Venti, who hadn't seen him since the rebellion, is elated to say the least and they do a bit of catching up because they need it

and then the conversation turns more serious, and the Ragnvindir brings up a third thing that Venti needs to hold onto- his humanity.

See, in the early years, just desperate to get a foothold on the world, Venti's first number of targets were just indiscriminately going after those he knew to be weaker than him, and the Ragnvindir points this out, saying that while it's not necessarily bad, if he keeps doing it, it won't be long until he causes his and, by extent, Mondstadt's legacy to be tainted by a reputation for slaughter, no better than any of the other bloodthirsty gods that frequented the war's fields. "Think of what the bard would do, we were both close enough to do that much"

And Venti becomes yet more caged, but recognizes that he's right, and this is another turning point, that in the coming years would keep Venti from losing himself.

also- Gunnhildr, Venti having told her about the Ragnvindir's concerns that he now shared, probably organized some kind of event (not unlike the right of part, but also, yes unlike it) that was deliberately intended and designs to serve as an excuse that Venti could chose to take to visit Mondstadt, something she know he desperately wanted to do, but wouldn't allow himself for fear of putting them in danger. But if she made it an official celebration, then it would give Venti the opportunity to visit his people again, under the guise of it being a responsibility, not having to deal with the moral implications of doing so at a time when he was already dealing with enough of those already.

Also on his travels, the Ragnvindir probably started and spread a number of rumors that could end up working in Venti's favor, not that anyone ever knew it was him of course.

basically Gunnhildr protected the people of Mondstadt and did all she could to keep everyone in as high spirits as possible, Venti included.

And as for the Ragnvindir, he took a more realistic approach, traveling and getting venti followers in far places, spreading false information about him, and just overall making sure that Venti didn't do things he'd regret.

And when they died, Venti would carry their legacy with him as well, not losing his humanity to the tide of war as he very nearly had(though he still often came close), and trying to spreading high spirits where ever he could without fail.

#genshin impact #genshin venti #genshin impact headcanons #genshin theory #genshin headcanons #archon war era venti #genshin barbatos #genshin decarabian #nameless bard #genshin ragnvindir #genshin gunnhildr #genshin lore #genshin spoilers #spoilers #angst #venti angst #archon war #old mondstadt

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queenofcats17 · 3 years

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The Ink Demonth 30

So, after seeing this post, I wanted to write it.

I have just realized that @hello-im-not-a-possum is the originator of this AU idea, so this is for them.

This is old and I decided to repurpose it for the “Partner” prompt

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Henry…honestly wasn’t sure what was going on.

He’d left the infirmary after getting the valve wheel and had been greeted by…a sight he hadn’t seen before. It was a Boris wearing pants, suspenders, a shirt, and a Bendy mask on the side of its head. And it was holding a dustpan.

Henry couldn’t help but stare. He wasn’t sure where this Boris had come from and where it had gotten a shirt of all things. He was assuming this was Sammy. Mostly because of the dustpan and the mask, as well as the fact that this was where Sammy usually popped up.

“….Hi,” Henry said slowly.

The Boris raised its dustpan menacingly. Henry took an instinctive step back.

“Hey! Wait!” He put his hands up, scrambling to find something to appease the irate music director.

This was a change, so maybe he could pick Sammy up as a companion. Maybe he could save him. But he had to act quickly. Sammy in this state wasn’t exactly the patient sort.

He held up a can of soup. “D-Do you want some soup?” He asked with a shaky smile.

The Boris slowly lowered its dustpan.

“You would offer me sustenance?” It asked with Sammy’s voice.

“Yeah, sure.”

For a moment, Sammy stared at Henry. Then he dropped the dustpan and sunk to his knees.

“My Lord,” he gasped, lowering his head.

Henry grimaced, kneeling and rolling the soup can to his former friend. This was weird, but he could work with it.

“Do you…want to come with me?” Henry asked slowly.

“I would follow you anywhere, my Lord,” Sammy said without a hint of sarcasm or insincerity.

“Okay. Cool.” Henry nodded and turned away. “Well, let’s get going.”

Sammy discarded his mask and followed without another word.

Henry hadn’t been entirely sure how they’d get from the Music Department to Boris’ safehouse, but luckily for him the Ink Demon still triggered to chase them. It seemed generally displeased that Sammy was with Henry now, and grew especially displeased when Sammy tried to attack it.

“Sammy, no! We gotta go!” Henry yelled as he dragged Sammy through the hallways. “We are not fighting it!”

“But I must protect you!” Sammy protested, waving his ax in the general direction of the quickly gaining Ink Demon.

“While I appreciate that, I’d rather have you alive!” Henry responded. “I’m not going to lose you again!”

Hearing this made Sammy abruptly stop swinging, which made it considerably easier to drag him. Henry only noticed how much Sammy’s tail was wagging once they had successfully escaped the Ink Demon.

“Sammy? Are you alright?” Henry asked.

Sammy didn’t respond, just staring ahead with a dreamy look while his tail vigorously wagged.

“My Lord values me,” he whispered to himself.

Henry couldn’t help but sigh. This was going to be a thing he would have to deal with, huh? At least Sammy was alright. And the tail wagging was pretty cute.

It was at that moment that the bacon soup can rolled into view and Boris poked his head around the corner.

Sammy jumped into action, getting in front of Henry and brandishing his ax.

“Speak your name and state your purpose!” He demanded.

Boris whimpered and moved away, ears drooping.

“Sammy, it’s alright, he’s a friend,” Henry said, getting between Sammy and Boris. “He’s going to help us.”

Sammy narrowed his eyes, pausing for a moment before slowly lowering his ax.

“Very well,” he said. “Rejoice, hound, for my Lord has chosen to spare you.”

Boris looked over at Henry with an expression that radiated confusion.

“I know, he’s kind of weird.” Henry smiled apologetically and patted Boris’ head. “But he’s on our side this time.”

Boris nodded, although he still regarded Sammy warily on their way back to the safe-house.

It didn’t take long after they got to the safe-house for Sammy to become incredibly attached to Boris as well. The majority of this was because Boris had provided them both with bacon soup. It also helped Sammy to see Henry interacting positively with Boris. Seeing how much Henry cared about Boris convinced Sammy that the wolf was to be trusted. And more importantly, protected.

This meant when the time came for Alice to steal Boris away, Sammy fought her off tooth and nail. So when Henry woke up, he was greeted with two cartoon wolves, ready to continue helping him on his journey.

Even before that, though, Henry found himself incredibly glad to have Sammy around. Yes, the former music director tended to throw himself into dangerous situations with no regard for his own personal safety, but he was also incredibly helpful with dealing with the corrupted Butcher Gang members and Searchers.

And it was really nice to have someone else to talk to, even if Henry did still have to deal with Sammy’s prophet talk. He hadn’t realized the toll it had taken on him to have to go through all of this alone and almost completely silent.

“You know, I’m really glad you’re here, Sammy,” Henry remarked as they headed down to level 14.

They had finished with all of Alice’s errands except for the one on the Projectionist’s level and Henry wanted to express his appreciation now in case the Projectionist killed Sammy. Because Henry was almost certain Sammy would immediately try to fight the Projectionist.

Sammy blinked, clearly surprised by this comment, and quickly looked away. “I’m glad I can be of service to you, my Lord.”

“It’s not just ‘being of service’,” Henry insisted. “You’re a good ally to have and I’m glad me and Boris have you to help watch our backs.”

Sammy said nothing, although his tail began to vigorously wag.

Boris made a noise that might have been a laugh and hugged Sammy. The relationship between the two of them had improved even further since the safe-house, which made Henry happy to see.

“I am…glad that you both enjoy my company,” Sammy said slowly, tail wagging even more vigorously at the hug. “…Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Henry smiled and patted Sammy’s shoulder.

The elevator reached level 14 a minute later, and Henry and Sammy got out.

Henry approached the railing, scanning the ink flooded level below. If they were lucky, maybe they could avoid the Projectionist.

Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to be in the cards.

“Ssh…There he is.” Alice’s voice came through the speakers as the Projectionist walked out of one of the doorways. “The Projectionist. Skulking in the darkness. You be sure to stay out of his light, if you don’t want trouble. Just bring me back the pieces I need.”

“Alright. We need to get the ink hearts and avoid him,” Henry whispered. “So don’t go fighting him, okay?” He looked over to make sure Sammy understood, only to see that Sammy was already jumping over the railing to go attack the Projectionist.

“Fuck!” Henry all but sprinted down the stairs to where Sammy was attempting to defeat the Projectionist.

Thankfully, they were able to take him out before Sammy was killed, although Henry did die at one point. But, as usual, he was resurrected at a Bendy statue.

“The monster has been defeated!” Sammy proclaimed proudly once the Projectionist fell.

For a moment, Henry just stood there, catching his breath. Then he grabbed Sammy by the shoulders and all but slammed him against the wall.

“M-My Lord?” Sammy’s eyes widened, taken aback by Henry’s sudden violent gesture. Henry had never behaved like this toward him before.

“Stop doing that!” Henry yelled.

“S-Stop doing what, my Lord?”

“Stop just running into danger like that!” Tears were welling up in Henry’s eyes.

“But I…I must protect you,” Sammy said.

“Then don’t try to die!” Henry’s grip on Sammy’s shoulders tightened slightly. “If you want to protect me then stay!” His voice dropped in volume as he began to quietly sob. “Please. I can’t lose you again, Sammy. Please.”

Sammy paused, unsure how to react. On one hand, he felt he needed to defend his Lord from whatever threat might arise, taking preemptive action if needed. On the other hand, it was clearly upsetting his Lord that he was putting himself in danger. But why did it matter? Sammy was but a humble servant of his Lord. His life was of no consequence.

Still, if his Lord wished for him to cease these actions, he should obey.

“Very well,” he nodded solemnly. “I will…Try not to behave so recklessly in the future.”

“Thank you,” Henry whispered, pulling Sammy into a partner. “I…I know you don’t think of yourself like this but…I consider you my friend. And my partner.”

Sammy’s tail began to vigorously wag once more, which got a laugh out of Henry.

“Alright.” Henry pulled back with a tearful smile. “Let’s, uh, let’s go get those ink hearts and get back to Alice so we can get out of here.”

Sammy’s tail abruptly stopped wagging and his ears drew back.

“I still don’t see why we must play her games,” he grumbled as he followed Henry into the labyrinth.

“I know I know.” Henry nodded as he scanned the corners for ink hearts. “But she controls the elevator.”

Not to mention, they needed to follow the script, even with this change.

Sammy grumbled under his breath, but said nothing more on the subject. Instead, he began to sniff the air. Before Henry could ask what he was doing, Sammy was off like a shot.

“Hey! Sammy! Where are you going?!” Henry scrambled after him.

It turned out Sammy could sniff out the ink hearts. Which was unexpected (even though Sammy was currently a canine), but not unwelcome, and ended up cutting the time Henry usually spent searching in half. This skill also helped them get out of the labyrinth since Henry hadn’t picked up the ink heart on the platform in his hurry to save Sammy.

As they grabbed the last ink heart and got back in the elevator, Henry once again thought about how happy he was to have Sammy there with him. He wouldn’t be alone this loop. Not even for a second.

#bendy and the ink machine #fanfiction #sheepdog sammy au #batim au #sammy lawrence #henry stein #boris the wolf #the ink demonth

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thisdreamplace · 3 years

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ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

#eiypo

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dinolikes · 4 years

Text

IMPOSTER - PART THREE

summery ❤︎ Nobody has any quirks and is stuck on a ship like Among Us

pairings ❤︎ Imposter!Dabi x Reader

content warnings ❤︎ major character deaths

| prev.|

"at least this means we dont have to worry anymore." kaachan shrugs, you snap your head towards him,

"what do you mean?"

"I mean usually theres only like one, right? meaning we're most likely in the clear." you nod, you honestly forgot kaachan existed there for a sec, he was just so...quiet.

"kaachan c'mere, you too deku." the former looked at you weirdly but complied, while the latter bounced over to you.

you briefly let go of dabi and pulled shoto with you, and hugged all three of the young boys closely.

you knew that them and ingeniumu were in the same classes all through highschool, and they joined headquarters together, to lose a friend like that...you couldn't imagine it.

shoto grabbed onto your arms again, hugging himself close to you, deku, wrapped his arms around you and kaachan -surprisingly- leaned into you, he didnt hug you back but he showed his appreciation and a few sniffles could he heard from all of them.

"c'mon guys, we just have to finish our tasks and soon enough we'll be home, okay?" they nod and slowly pull themselves off of you. "ill show you guys my place and we'll get froyo, all of us,"

shoto lets out a small smile whereas deku didnt hide his, even kaachan didnt bother hiding the goofy smile that broke through.

during your time together you had become a bit of a mother towards the three, especially kaachan and shoto, deku already having a healthy relationship with his mum.

as deku and shoto walk away, kaachan lingered.

"thanks." he mumbles, looking at his feet, you hold his cheek in a protective way

"no problem kaa, now shoo, go with deku," kaachan smirks and walks away.

dabi almost regretted when the moment ended, but was happy to have you in his arms again.

"that was sweet."

you hum, "yeah, your gonna have to include those kids in our little life plan you wrote," you smirk up at him, teasing him about the page you found a couple months ago, which was filled with things he wanted to do with you.

"shup up," he smiled, genuinely smiled at you, and you leant up to give him a peck on the lips.

"wonder, you ready to go?" you turn slightly to see hawks, and you pout.

"actually, do you mind if I take her from now? you and shoto can team up," hawks shrugged.

"sure! ill rescue shoto and let him be with someone cool for once!" hawks laughed as dabi was obviously annoyed.

as everyone went off with their group to finish their task you couldnt help but think.

you were glad fun loving hawks was back, you were glad everyone was back to normal actually. you dont think you guys would ever officially be healed but the thought that this was over made you happy.

dabi tugged on your hand and you looked towards him.

"can I kiss you?"

you blushed, he never outright ASKED, but you nodded anyways, filling with electricity as he cupped you cheeks and smashed his lips on yours.

you both moved in synch, as you ran your fingers through his hair and lightly tugged at times, knowing that made him go feral and right now you just wanted to forget.

you thought of how ingeniumu would react to finding you and dabi like this, the kid would probably start waving his arms and going berserk, thirteen would probably have to calm him down and tell him that it's fine, he's always nice like that.

or, he WAS always nice like that.

you felt dabi pull away and you were about to question it until you felt the tears on your cheek yourself.

"what's wrong doll?" he cupped you face and you saw worry in his eyes.

"n-nuthin." you hiccup, the weight of the reality of this situation finally crashing down on you.

they were dead, they really were dead.

"is it because of, yknow?" he jerks his head towards the cafeteria, referencing exactly why you were crying.

you let out a sob as you bobbed your head.

"awh, c'mere doll," dabi cooed and grabbed the back of your head, pulling you in for a tight hug and his other hand slipped around your waist, softly squeezing to show support.

"t-theyre go-gone! a-and ingeniumu will n-never be the-there to sco-scold us ag-gain and a-and and-" you hiccupped out, they were gone, they were really fucking gone.

"shh shh doll, it will be okay, think about having froyo with the kids and me, how about we make it a tradition? every Sunday how about?" you slightly nod as he moves his hand around you head to cup your cheek, whipping your tears, "yeah? and with me, you, kaachan, deku and shoto, we'll all have froyo each sunday, and when we eventually have kids we'll bring them along too,"

you hum, that did sound nice.

"kaachan would probably try to teach them how to probably beat up deku before they reached 5," you let out a laugh, he would do that.

"and if they didnt learn how to properly throw a right hook on their own before 3, he would probably stay up all day and night to make sure," your voice sounded croaky but dabi still smiled.

"exactly. even if we have to change the life plan a little bit it will still be our life plan, and we're gonna spend it together," you smile and look up at your boyfriend.

"thank you touya," you lightly kiss his cheek,

"anything for you doll,"

he went to kiss your lips again before both of your watches beeped, an emergency meeting.

you both ran back towards the cafeteria, deku, shoto, twice and hawks already there, where was kaachan?

hawks seemed to catch your eye looking throughout the room, and spoke up, "kaachan is dead."

suddenly it felt like everything came crashing down.

you didnt understand, he was- he was there and alive! and your plans- oh god you cant go for froyo now.

it seemed silly to worry about that but you were panicking, it was what you were supposed to do!

you stared at hawks, "n-no. no. hes not dead."

hawks took a step forward, "wonder-"

"no! he- he cant be dead! t-the froyo and the the-" dabi grabbed you and pulled you into his chest again, your newly dried eyes watering again but you just pathetically leaned into your boyfriend. "he cant be dead." you whimpered.

dabi affectionately rubbed your back, "it's okay doll, its gonna be okay,"

everyone stared at you in sympathy, they were all affected but it was obvious you were struggling.

twice had a different look though, like guilt, one that hawks didnt miss.

"hey twice?"

he snapped his head up towards the blonde, "yeah?" his voice slightly cracked.

"where were you?"

"I-"

"oh god not with this shit again! hawks will you give it a break for two fucking seconds?" dabi snaps, "I dont care if this is your way of coping is fucking interrogating us or something but just leave it alone!"

"oh im SO sorry for worrying about who's gonna be dead next!"

"i dont ca-"

shoto interrupted the two, "tomura said he was with twice last time and twice agreed. but now we know tomura was killing." shoto's voice cracked.

twice widened his eyes, but nodded. "i-im sorry."

everyone stared in shock, even hawks was silent.

he didnt look up, "the system is fucked, I'm telling you that, but I didnt want to hurt any of you i swear!"

hawks didnt say anything as he pushed him into the trash chute room, and neither did twice, he didnt even protest.

"can I ask you one more question?" hawks asked, twice slowly nodding.

"are there anymore?"

twice makes eye contact with dabi, another look hawks doesnt miss, and nods, holding up a finger.

with that hawks pulls the switch and out went twice, into space.

| next |

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koko-bopp · 4 years

Text

Exposé

min yoongi x jeon jungkook x male!reader

word count – 4K

genre – Angst, fluff

warning(s) – argument scene, mentions of homophobia and racism,

synopsis – An incident happened where your boyfriends had had an interview on national television, and one of them publicized your relationship with then. You're the manager of Bangtan, so your concern fell on your job, your relationship, and your life, but also what it meant for the jobs, lives and relationship of your boyfriends.

A/N – for @thatcucumberwhore :))

"Are you guys fucking kidding me?"

Jungkook accidently jumped at the tone of your voice, though Yoongi seemed less surprised. You'd come in practically throwing down the door of you and your boyfriends' apartment, and that being said, you weren't surprised that Jungkook jolted at the noise, it was unlike you.

"Hyung, er–" Jungkook tried his best to speak up, but was cut off quite quickly.

"I'll get to you later," You snapped, and your attention was fixed on Yoongi. He stayed silent, which is a habit that seems to occur whenever he was nervous, but you were fuming, barely thinking about what your boyfriends' might be thinking. "What the fuck, Yoongi. What the actual fuck, you can't just announce shit without–"

"I did," Yoongi argued, standing up from the couch, looking up at you in anger, "And frankly, so did Jungkook, and you knew damn fucking well it was gonna happen anyway."

"You didn't fucking consult me, Yoongi," You grinded your teeth down, doing your best not to react irrationally, "You can't just make decisions because you feel like it, that fucking stunt could've cost us our job!"

Yoongi had no trouble talking back, "Well, it didn't."

Jungkook went in the middle of you two, clearly anxious and panicking, not knowing how to properly resolve the argument. "Guys, please can we just–"

"No," You snapped, slapping away Jungkook's hand before glaring at him. Honestly, you were so insulted by Yoongi's recklessness, and especially because you're the manager of Bangtan, you had no idea what this meant for your career, but not only yours, Yoongi's and Jungkook's too, "You do understand that our boyfriend just outed us on live television, right? South Korean. Television. Where marital relationships like ours aren't recognised by law."

Yoongi grapped your wrist, forcing you to look at him, "How long were you expecting us to keep this a secret?"

"As long as it kept us safe," You spat.

"Even if it was taking a toll on our mental health?" Yoongi said, almost too calmly, "Not everyone can keep themselves sane enough when it comes to this shit, [Y/N]."

You frowned and just stared at Yoongi.

"Mind you, your job is to look after us as well," Yoongi added.

"That requires you to fucking talk to me, Suga," The anger became evident, especially for Jungkook, because you only call Yoongi by his stage name in a professional setting, never outside of it, "Not snake around and leave things up to you."

You ripped Yoongi's grip on your wrist, taking one last glance at Jungkook before getting your jacket from the hanger.

Clearly, staying in the apartment wouldn't do your anger any good, leaving before the water begins to tip was probably the best option. You didn't look at your boyfriends', just spoke, "I'm staying at Jin's. Don't call me."

✨

"You might as well change your Facebook status to 'complicated', and start feeding my cat, bro," Jin said from the kitchen, "You've been living on my couch for four days. Four days. I don't see why you can't just talk to them."

"I don't know..." You huffed, "Bro I deleted all my social media, and I haven't even opened the television for the last few days...I've yet to cop it from PD, though. God knows what he's thinking."

"Yeah, and no offence, you and your whole, 'Im gonna pretend I'm not bothered by acting so overly professional in the workplace with my boyfriends' isn't proof that you're unbothered. It's proof that this is effecting you," Jin walked into the living room, who beers in hand as he did. He tried handing you one, though you rejected the offer, wanting to remain sober while you're still upset.

Your bestfriend, after your boyfriends, is the eldest member of Bangtan. Partly because you two are the same age, you being just a bit older than Jin, but despite that, you two understood each other well. Also, another reason that your relationship with him is so good is because it's the best entertainment to be around Kim Seokjin, the sarcasm is inevitable.

"Look, I get what Yoongs was thinking, but I also get they you may not have been ready, but I also think you just shouldn't give a shit about what people have to say about you," Jin placed his input, sitting down on the couch near you, throwing a leg over the other, taking a swift sip of the beer. "And that's coming from singer that racists and homophobes hate, those fucks on twitter are the worst."

You laughed at his reasoning, your eyes fixed on the loose string on the knee of your jeans. They're ripped jeans, they're supposed to be there, but it bothered you. "I'm still mad that they didn't ask me about it first.."

"No, that's fair. You feel lied to, I get that," Jin responded, "But, people make mistakes."

You scoffed, "Not like this, I don't put people's lives on the line," You shook your head, running your thumb on the bottom of your lip for a second, "This is Seoul, it's super hard to get a job, it's worse if you're not straight, even worse if you're not pale."

"Yeah," Jin agreed, "But in your case. What radical fan is gonna let Jungkook and Yoongi leave– no– get kicked out of BTS? You know how fucking mad people would be? ARMY would literally boycott BigHit. But let's say it's you who needs to leave, those two would quit their jobs in a fucking heartbeat, people would still be mad at BigHit, and more accepting companies would do anything to have those two in their company."

You smirked in amusement. It sounded true, those two are the biases of a lot of fans, people would pissed.

"And to add onto that," Jin continued, "Bangtan would be mad. You think any of us would put our jobs over our bestfriends' happiness? No fucking way. We're wanted eveywhere, it would take an email and two phone calls to get us a job somewhere else."

You smiled at that, but you remained silent, it was always nice talking to Jin. He was always honest. You lifted your head up to look at your best friend, a little hesitant to give a response, "Do you... Do you think I should..."

"You still got it?"

"Both of them. Always."

"Yeah. They still love you, I wasn't gonna tell you, but I'm pretty sure Yoongi was crying about it."

You stood up from your seat immediately, throwing a pillow at Jin, "You bafoon! You didn't think to fucking tell me?!"

"Ow! I still have a beer!" Jin defended in a protective, half-ninja pose to protect himself from more pillows, stretch his hand to keep his beer alive and unspilt on his leather couch. "Just remember that they need to apologize too, it's not all your fault. Go and see your mans'."

You didn't waste another moment. You throw your jacket over your shoulder and quickly grabbed the keys to your car, slipping on your shoes and racing to get into your car.

The apartment, thankfully, wasn't far, and you know the city of Seoul like the back of your hand so getting there wasn't an issue, it was more about emotionally preparing yourself.

It wasn't as if you thought about what you were gonna say, but hearing that one of your boyfriends who are always so strong broke down crying wasn't a 'think-first-act-later' moment. Jungkook, god, and Jungkook, you'd yet to figure out how he's been handling everything, but you know for Yoongi's sake, he'd try to be staying as strong for him as possible.

You'd gotten three texts from Jungkook in the last four days. One apology, a sticker, and an 'i love you', but your stubborn trait got the best of you. Now having a silent moment, you wish you'd responded.

"Hyung..?"

You didn't know what to say, but you were standing at the door of your apartment with Jungkook in front of you.

You could tell he was hoping for this, he just didn't know when.

He threw his arms around your shoulders, catching you off guard, but as soon as you'd regained your senses, you returned the embrace just as tight as he'd given it. He had his face buried into your shoulder, one hand in your hair trying to remember the feel he thought he'd forgotten, "I thought you were leaving us..." He whispered, holding back a sob.

"Jungkook, I'm so so sorry, I overreacted. I was being a jerk and–" You spewed, but was interrupted when your boyfriend shook his head.

"No, no– I'm sorry too, I thought we were doing the right thing and–" He accidently sniffled, a tear falling down his cheek, "–Ah, fuck... Jagi, I'm just so glad you're back."

You kissed Jungkook's cheek from where he was, bringing your hand up to cradle his head lovingly.

You'd do anything for Jungkook, hes your boyfriend and you love him so much.

You continued to embrace Jungkook, before speaking in a small whisper, "... Kookie, baby... Is Yoongs okay?"

Jungkook pulled away from the embrace slightly, but your hands were still on his waist. The younger wipes the tear stain on his cheek first, "He's had better days... A lot of better days."

"How bad?"

"Remember when Namjoon-hyung and him fought that one time?"

"Oh no."

"Yeah.. But this time it's more heartbreak than anger. I think you'll be fine."

You kissed Jungkook one more time, smiling at hin before hesitantly letting go to head towards Yoongi's room.

You made it three quarters of the way there, then saw the 'go away' mat in front of his door with the cat flipping the finger. It made you chuckle, knowing that then Yoongi had bought it despite the fact that nobody is allowed to walk into the house without socks.

Yoongi does things because something tells him it's the right thing to do. He doesn't act then think, he'll probably think for years and the finally act.

"Jagi..." You knocked gently on your boyfriend's door, "Yoon. It's me... Please open–"

Your request was filled before it was finished, the door swang open to reveal a rather teary Min Yoongi, and your heart didn't handle it well. But you probably didn't notice it well enough, because he threw his arms around your neck almost immediately after. He begun sobbing into your collar with his hands gripping the back of your shirt like you'd run away if he let go. He spoke through tears, "[Y/N], I'm so sorry, I didn't think about how you'd feel and," He sobbed, "But please, p-please don't leave again. I thought–"

"Shhh, baby, breathe for me," You said softly, kissing his forehead as a way to comfort him, before pulling away to look at your boyfriend, holding both of his hands in yours, "Yoongs, it's okay, I'm sorry too, and I know this is something we can work around because I love both of you so so much."

You motioned for Jungkook to come too, watching him walk over then holding his hands too.

It took only a second to exhale, but it seemed too long, "I love you two more than anything in this world. You're more important to me than my job, than my pet–"

Jungkook gasped, "Don't say that! Fluff is a beautiful pet!"

You laughed, and Yoongi didn't stop himself from giggling, but you continued, "Regardless, you two are the best thing that's ever happened to me, that I get to see your faces in the morning is a blessing enough." Jungkook was getting teary and Yoongi was holding back tears as much as he could, but you continued, "You're my heaven on earth. I want to be able to spend the rest of my life with you too."

You for down on one knee, Jungkook's eyes going wide and Yoongi's jaw unhinged to its full capacity. You pulled out the velvet box containing two identical rings, opening it carefully to reveal them.

"Min Yoongi and Jeon Jungkook. Will you steal my last name?"

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theonekid123 · 3 years

Text

Why Don’t You Wanna Fuck Me?

Chapter 6

Summary: Y/N sleeps around with a lot of people but seems to steer clear of Levi, He's unsure why so he tries to figure the mystery out

“You have to stay still” the medic barked at me for what felt like the thousandth time. I don't know how I was still alive. Everyone else is dead. All of them. Petra, Oluo, Gunther, Eld. I am convinced if Levi hadn’t bailed then maybe just maybe there would be someone else alive, someone, more worthy. “Y/N” I heard a familiar voice call from the door of the room. Hange and Moblit not far behind her. I gave them the best smile I could muster as they came and sat down beside my bed. For once it looked like Hange was struggling to figure out what to say Or how to say it “Hange, just say whatever you came to say” I didn't want to be rude but the silence and tension in the room was something I did not want to deal with right now. I didn’t like it quite. “What happened?” Moblit asked the question lingering in Changes mind “Didn’t the Eren kid tell you? I mean he was there he saw it” I didn’t mean to have such a harsh tone as I spoke those words, it didn’t seem like I had much control over anything lately “Yes, but………” Hage trailed off but could tell what she was trying to say. ‘You were With them, what happened’ as opposed to ‘ do you how they died’ “Where's Levi?” I didn’t want to answer her question, I needed to talk to Levi “You know he couldn't have done anything Y/N '' Moblit said gently, I knew that but I'm wasn't thinking rationally right now, I'm being selfish and I'm trying to convince myself he could have been there and they might still be alive. At least some of them, one of them that deserved to live. I asked if they could convince him to come to see me. I've been here for 3 days and haven’t seen or heard anything about him. Hange and Moblit left about an hour ago leaving me in the cool almost empty room with no distraction to avoid thinking about the events that happened, that terrible day. How our only order was to protect Eren, how Eld was bitten in half, Oluo was kicked so hard it killed him, Petra. Petra still seemed to be in shock at Eld’s death, she was unfocused and stepped on. All for a kid, we don’t know, how can we trust him. He’s the reason my friends are dead. No, I can’t blame him, he’s probably just as upset and...confused. He’s a titan after all. . . I've been in the infirmary for a week and haven't seen Levi once. Everyone else had paid a visit, the titan kid had come to apologize. He looked broken, his eyes looked so sad. I couldn’t hold this against him. I knew that Levi would have to replace the squad but didn't expect to see them as I made my return. But honestly, I don't know what to expect at this point. They were all kids with little to no experience, how could they be capable of replacing anyone of the others. I made my way to find Levi, which was rather difficult. “Hange! Have you seen Levi anywhere?” I asked walking up to my brunette friend “No, have you tried his room?” Hange asked while looking through some papers “No Hange, why on earth would I look for him in his room '' I replied sarcastically. At this point she wasn't even listening so I left. I was going to give up but then it popped into my head. Erwin, if he isn't around here he is probably in Erwin's office. That where I was heading, not paying attention, as I turned the corner I ran into a short familiar man. Levi. He stopped and just stared at me for a moment before scoffing and walking away. I was very confused, he hasn’t seen me in like 3 weeks and he just left. “Levi” I called but he just kept walking So I did what anyone would do, follow him “Levi!...LEVI! You can't just keep avoiding me!” still nothing “You have to talk to me eventually” damn was he stubborn. Now I was getting frustrated and impatient. This means ill probably say something fucked up. “Maybe if I had taken the place of one of them you would care” Yep. “Shut the hell up” he seethed as he turned to face me, but was I going to stop? No. once I get going like this it's hard to stop “No, why do suddenly not give a shit. Im sorry if me living makes you unhappy” I said in the same tone he used “You don’t even understand-” “No, it's you who doesn't understand. Do you think I want to be the only one who survived? I know I don't deserve it, ok. Do you think I wanted to watch my friends get killed? And then have to sit alone in the infirmary all by my fucking self. You never once came to see if I was ok. Now your just ignoring me. So im sorry if me surviving isn't what you wanted” my eyes started to tear up and I wasn't about to let my guard down in front of this garden gnome, so I turned to leave and he didn't move a muscle, not that I gave a shit. . . . “So im sorry if me surviving isn't what you wanted” the words haven't yet sunk in. and then they did but you were already long gone. The man wasn't sure if should try to find you or wait for you to cool off. In a split second, he went searching, he didn’t realize what he was doing was hurting you, he just could bring himself to see you injured. After 45 minutes of searching a rehearsing what he was going to say in his head, he found you sitting on the roof, the sun was setting and the sky was scattered with colors. He silently sat down next to you. He took it as a good sign when you didn't react, just sat. “Im sorry,” he said quietly while looking at the sky . . . Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone sit down next to me, I didn't even need to look to know who it was. “Im sorry,” he said “I just couldn’t see you injured” he tried to explain “Well im glad that was so convenient for you Levi” I scoffed turning my head away from him. “I...I guess I just didn't think about how you would feel after everything” it was obvious he was having trouble explaining what he did what he did “So you abandoned me?” I asked looking at him “Look I-just….I was scared” he admitted avoiding eye contact “Of what exactly?” I sounded very condescending but I really didn't care

#levi squad #levi x y/n #levi aot #hange zöe #moblit berner #AoT #snk #Eren Jäger #armin arlert #Mikasa Ackerman #jean kirstein #conny springer #sasha braus #reiner braun #Annie Leonhardt #Bertolt Hoover #Erwin Smith

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sincerlypadfoot · 4 years

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Tumbling Downhill (4)

~During the time of transfer Harry from 4 Privet Drive to the borrow everyone is stressed out, especially you, losing Mad eye,everything spirals, but a new curse strikes you and changes your life.

Word Count-1309

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I pushed open my closet, soaking wet, tired and not caring, just franticly tossing everything I had brought to the Borrow back into my bag, getting ready to leave at any second.

“Your really leaving,” Remus said making me jump and turn around, my wand was in my hand pointed at him, now with his hands up in the air.

“Yeah I have too, I promise I will come back alive, but I have to do this Remus, and you’ll see why when it’s over,” I said dropping my wand on the floor. “I love you though,” I cried out dropping everything else that was in my hand and ran over to Remus, almost making the two of us fall over once again.

“I love you too Lia,” Remus whispered in my eyes, hugging me tightly. “Is there anyone else in the room with us?” I turned my head and looked at Regulas and Sirius who were sitting opposite of each other on my bed, Lily, Mad-Eye and James sitting on the floor talking amongst themselves.

“They’re all in here, but I don’t think their interesting in us right now,” I whispered back leaning my head on his shoulder. “But i’m glad this happened, and I would do it again,”

“Promise you’ll be back in a couple months,” Remus whispered not letting me go. “Promise that you won’t die or so help me i’ll curse myself and kill you,” Tears fell down my face and I let out a bit of a low laugh.

“I promise Remus that you will see me again,” I mumbled trying to get myself from crying. “You need to stay here, with your fiance, im seventeen, and I won’t drive myself insane,” I paused smirking a bit. “Maybe i’ll come back a bit insane,”

Remus laughed loosening his grip and looking at me. “You have to stay safe out there, i’m sure that whatever your going to do is important, but please remember that nothing is more important than your life,”

“You have to come see this!” Tonk shouted rushing into the room. “Oh ugh sorry but the twins are saying there is something in the field,” Remus shot his head back in my direction.

“I’ll be gone before you come back,” I whispered letting Remus’ go, I stood up and looked around the room, it was only the three of us. Remus nodded his head and followed Tonk out.

I had felt sick to my stomach and tears still flew down my face. “Regulas i’m doing this to save your life, where are you?” I mumbled looking around.

“I’m right here” Regulas’ low voice said from behind me. “We’ll have to go to a place first, I need something, to destroy something before I come back, I promise it’s important,”

“Regulas,” I whispered placing my hand on my forehead. “I’m not feeling so well,” I closed my eyes hoping the room would stop spinning but nothing helped, unable to control anything I had leaned forward feeling cold hands catch me.

“Hey your gonna be okay, let me just place you down right here,” Regulas placed me down on my bed, Sirius popped up infront of me. “I can stay dead a bit longer, you need to rest, your not looking so good,”

“Hey pumpkin,” Sirius smiled placing his hand on my forehead. “You’ll be fine, we’ve done this before remember, breath and hold my hand, this’ll be over in a second.

I kept my eyes closed listening to Sirius’ words, hoping that the pain would be over, but it kept going, over and over.

“It’s normal so you can’t freak out brother,” Sirius moved his hand from my forehead to my hand. “She gets like this, you’ll have to do this, set her down and hold her hand, just wait for it to be over,”

The pain stopped and my eyes opened, looking over at Sirius. “Your not coming with me?” I asked frowning.

“I have to watch over Remus, protect him, Regulas will be with you the whole way until you get to him, you can trust him with your life,” I rolled my eyes still frowning.

“Yeah well I don’t think anyone else has stopped my shaking but you, but I trust you with me life, Regulas if you let me die i’ll kill you myself,” I mocked the words Remus had said to me earlier.

“I can do it,” Regulas said grabbing my other hand. “I won’t like you die Lia, over my life, I just wanna be free,”

“We need to go,” A burst of energy washed around me. “I need to finish packing my stuff then we need to go, Merlin knows how much Death Eaters i’ll have to fight just to get around town,”

Lily stood with my bag in her hand. “Done, it was the least I could do,” She smiled holding my wand in her other hand. “You take care of my Harry if you see him, make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid when things go back to normal, i’m not sure how long you’ll see me but I would just like you to know that,”

I smiled and wrapped my arms around Lily. “I promise until the day I die that I will protect Harry with all my might,”

Regulas placed his hand on my shoulder. “If we wanna leave before sunrise we should get going,” I turned around and faced Sirius, wrapping my arms around him.

“You watch over Remus, he is the last family I have left,” I whispered holding him close. “I’ll think of you,”

“Go on Lia, you need to go, I don’t need you dying on me,” Sirius whispered in my ear then let me go. “Regulas if you let her die i’ll make sure you never come back,” And for the first time they both truly hugged each other like brothers, not counter earlier in the night.

“Come on,” I smiled grabbing my bag and wand from the ground, looking at my dress that laid in the corner of my room, now wearing just simple jeans and a baggy sweater.

“See you when i’m alive,” Regulas winked walking out the doors and followed me down the stairs. I stopped in the middle of the stairs, Regulas bumping into me but I didn’t budge, but looked down at the Weasley family who stood together in the dining hall.

“Lia,” Regulas whispered in my ear. “Whats wrong?”

“Nothing, come on,” I smiled walking down the rest of the stairs. George shot his head in my direction and gave me a sly smile.

“Where are you going Lia?” Molly asked walking out of the room and looking at me. “Rons gone,” Her smile she usual had one her face was gone.

“I have to go Molly i’m sorry, if I see Ron i’ll send him home, he should be with his family in this time,” I tried smiling but nothing came, Regulas had his hand on my shoulder.

“You should be with your family Lia,” Molly cried out bringing me into a hug, Regulas was caught off guard and bumped into me. “Be back soon dear, I won;t stop you but you have to be safe if you’re gonna go alone,”

I smiled letting go of Molly and looking over at Regulas who stood beside me. “I won’t be alone Molly, I promise i’ll come back safe,” I said smiling and picking my bag up from the ground. “Goodbye,” I gave her a small wave then walked out the door with Regulas beside me.

“Ready?” Regulas asked turning to me as we stood on the grass. “Because honestly I feel like this is really dumb to risk your life for me, so if you’d like to turn back I won’t stop you,”

I smiled and grabbing Regulas’ cold hands. “If I have a chance to save someone's life I will, now come on i’ll race you,” I let my hands free, tossing my bag over my shoulders and running into the field, Regulas laughed following me.

#RegulasBlack #Regulas Black #Regulas Black x you #Regulas Black x y/n #Regulas Black x oc

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tiliamericana · 3 years

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Muay Thai: 1.17

Lind A: bring me lunch!

It was after eleven. She should be getting up and opening the dojo. This argument wasn’t quite enough to compel her legs to move from the bed, however, so Nairi lifted her phone and answered the text instead.

What do you want?

Lind A: idk get something you like and we can share Lind A: im at my studio!!

The ‘a’ button on her keyboard was sticking something fierce, and the black coating was worn away on the space bar and surrounding keys. Maybe she should get a new phone. She let the blackberry slip back down to rest on her chest as she went back to staring at the ceiling of her bedroom. The blanket was too hot where it was wrapped around her legs, and her shoulder was starting to ache where it had been pressed into her pillow and mattress for too long.

What did she like to eat? What did she like to eat that Linden also liked? Or, well, what was between here and Linden’s studio that had vegetarian options and food Linden liked, was probably the better question.

It was another ten minutes before she could make herself stand up and find a pair of jeans.

Almost an hour after that she’d made it to Linden’s studio, coffee and pastries in hand. Loud music was pumping out the propped-open door, grungier rock floating past the concrete paint can in sharp opposition to the cheerful pop from the last time she’d been here. Nairi stepped inside with her offerings, looking around for Linden.

“Oh hey, I thought you’d abandoned me,” said Linden cheerfully, and Nairi tracked her gaze down to see her sprawled on the floor. She was grinning up at her, hips twisted with one knee folded over her thigh, back pressed to the ground.

Nairi held up the paper bag by way of explanation. “Never. There was just a queue. Are you okay?”

Linden nodded sagely and shut her eyes, rolling her hips back down and shaking out her leg. “I had to pick up a box of glue off the craft shop floor this morning and I foolishly bent with my back instead of my knees, so now I must pay for my hubris.” She groaned as she sat up, taking a coffee from the proffered tray and grinning at Nairi. “Twenty-seven is way too young to even be having these issues, I swear to god.”

“Maybe your back’s just advanced for its age,” said Nairi, setting her tea and the pastries down on an unoccupied stretch of counter space.

Linden got to her feet and laughed brightly as she leaned over to her beat up ipod where it was sitting in a dock on the sill, spinning the volume almost all the way down. She straightened to grin at her head on as she reached out for Nairi’s hand. “Dad always said I was precocious. Come on, I made something for you!”

“Oh, what?” said Nairi, feeling the corner of her mouth twitch up as she let Linden tug her across the studio. “I only just figured out how to hang the last thing you painted me.”

Linden laughed again, letting go of her hand to reach up and pull down one of the two jackets from a hook on the back of the far door. “Well, this one hangs in a wardrobe, so I’m sure you’ll figure that out on your own.”

Nairi looked at the leather being offered to her, then back up at Linden, who jiggled the coat hanger at her.

She took it. It was a heavy, white motorcycle jacket, with two crisp stripes running the full length of the sleeves in red and green. The cuffs were zipped with sturdy silver tabs, and the pockets looked to fall just under the ribs with the same zips as closures. It was high-necked and padded in a way she instinctively approved of, with extra buckles at the neck and waist over the front zip. On the back Linden had painted an ourobouros of a dragon in green and black, its eye the same bright red as the stripe on the sleeves.

“Try it on,” said Linden eagerly, nodding at her. “I snooped in your drawers before I bought the jacket, so it should be the right size.”

Nairi felt her mouth twitch again, and she slipped the jacket on over her shoulders. It was comfortably snug around her arms, and heavy in a way that made it feel like it belonged there. The leather was a little stiff, not yet worn in, and the zip sufficiently toothy so that it took a second try to tug it down again. “It’s great,” she said, looking up and smiling back at Linden. “Thank you, you didn’t have to get me this.”

Linden was reaching up bring down its twin, and she glanced back over her shoulder at Nairi as she pulled it on. “Look, I saw them as I was walking past and I wanted one for me, and then I saw the white and I just hadto.” Hers was dark, crimson like her favourite wine-red lipstick, with thick, soft, elasticated fabric around the cuffs and waist hem. The painted embellishments were little lines of matchstick fires around the wide pockets, and a cherry tree in full blossom on the back, with a vintage style painting of a pair of cherries over one shoulder like a fake patch. “It gave me an excuse to break out the good paints too, the ones I haven’t used since I was a student. I had a lot of friends who did costume shit for theatre, the hardcore kind, it was nice to use them again! And like, I know it’s totally the wrong time of year for warm jackets and I should’ve held out for your birthday ‘cause it would’ve been perfect, but I got excited when I finished them and it’s been hard enough keeping my trap shut while I waited for them to dry.”

“It’s totally fine,” said Nairi, watching Linden give a little spin to show off her jacket before she shrugged it off again. “It’s just an early birthday present. Very early—preparatory, so I don’t have to wait for my birthday once it starts getting cold, and now you don’t have to worry about getting something for the day as well.”

Linden laughed again, ushering her back across the studio towards the pastries. “Oh, nice try, but you’re not escaping the birthday fun that easy,” she teased, picking up her coffee and nudging her broken chair towards Nairi with one foot. “Come on, sit, eat, give me the good goss, tell me how you and Aggy are going.”

“There’s not a lot happening, really,” said Nairi blandly, taking her tea back from Linden and sitting gingerly. The chair held, thankfully, if with a little more bounce than she’d been expecting. “You know, everything’s just kind of… fine.”

Linden pouted over her coffee before proceeding to loot the pastry bag. “Oh, that’s boring though! You two never do anything exciting, and you’ve been dating for like, months now. Seriously, nothing new?”

The impulse to laugh bubbled high in Nairi’s throat, and she swallowed it, wondering briefly where it had come from. “I think I’m okay with boring, honestly. Is your dating life not exciting enough?”

That got a snort as Linden resettled herself to lean back against the counter, raspberry crown in hand. “It’s a little cooled down at the moment, I won’t lie. Like, Simon and I are technically still ‘on’,you know, we’re just not, doing as much.”

“Tapering off, or just laying low from Nicholas?” asked Nairi with a small grin, catching the pastry bag as Linden tossed it to her.

Linden rolled her eyes, taking a drink from her coffee. “Si’s a big boy, he doesn’t need Nick barging in to tell him how to live his life. He’s still fun, it’s just, you know, reaching the point where people start making comments about taking him home to meet Dad and it’s definitelynot that kind of relationship.”

“Because you’re not expecting a ring or because he’s not up to scratch?” asked Nairi, tearing at a croissant.

“Yes,” said Linden, laughing. “Fuck, jesus, I’m nowhere near thinking about that, much less with Si’! That and Dad would eat him alive, he’s got an English degree—the only thing worse would be fine art.”

She hadn’t said it with any malice, so it was probably a normal sort of joke to make? “High expectations to meet?”

Linden grinned wolfishly. “Any partner I nail down better be ready to jump,” she joked with a darkly amused tone to it. “Dad’s good at what he does so he has high standards—typical lawyer shit, you know?”

Nairi shrugged. “Most of the lawyers I’ve met have just been dicks, but I think it’s different when you’re working with them as opposed to like, being raised by one. Is he defence or attack?”

Linden laughed loudly at that, hiding her grin behind her coffee cup again before answering. “Prosecutor, he’s a DA,” she said, sounding a little lighter. “Highest conviction rate in the state, only the best efforts for his job.”

“Damn, alright,” said Nairi, raising an eyebrow. “Kind of a bigshot?”

Linden nodded, setting her cup down. “Yeah, he gets kinda high profile sometimes—I don’t know if you remember a couple of years back, uh, Maxim Bailey? That guy?”

Oh yeah, she’d heard he’d been arrested. Nairi nodded, making a general noise of affirmation, and Linden nodded along with her.

“Yeah, he’s still salty he didn’t manage to get him on the murder charge, despite getting the other convictions,” said Linden, still nodding like a bobble-head. “Caught a little bit of media at the time, too.”

“Hell of a job,” said Nairi. Her thigh vibrated and she set her tea down to tug her phone out of her pocket.

“Stressful, he’s been talking about changing up careers for a couple months now,” said Linden, finally stopping the motion of her head.

Aga D: How’s your day? Any students for the first couple of classes?

She hesitated, chewing the inside of her cheek as her thumbs hovered over the buttons.

“Is that your giiirl-friend?” asked Linden, her drawl long and amused, and she lifted a leg to prod Nairi’s knee with her toe, making the chair spin a little.

Nairi glanced back at her phone, tapping out a response quickly. “Yeah, she’s just checking in.”

A couple yeah. Just having a quiet day.

Aga D: I’m glad! I’ll let you get back to teaching and stop distracting you :)

She tucked her phone away and picked up her tea again, suddenly not feeling much like eating anything.

Linden’s eyes were unreadable over her coffee, but she was smiling when Nairi looked at her. “That’s nice of her,” she said with a funny note in her voice. “I’m really happy for you two, you know that right?”

“Thanks,” said Nairi, shuffling her unappetising croissant back into its bag to avoid Linden’s piercing eyes. “I’m, um. I’m glad you both, sort of, uh, adopted me? Even if it’s in different ways. It’s been good. Really good.”

She covered her expression with her tea, not really tasting it as she drank. Why had that been hard to say?

Linden’s mouth twitched at the corner, just a hint of her normal dimples. “I’m glad you let us,” she said warmly, and suddenly her eyes were back to normal. “You looked like you could use a couple of friends when we met, and god only knows Agatha needed a relationship that actually worked out after her streak.”

“Yeah?” said Nairi, leaning to set the pastry bag back on the counter.

Linden nodded, giving her a rueful look. “Yeah, I mean, she told you how we met, right? Her boyfriend of like, ten years or some shit was one of my regulars, and when she found that out she showed up on my doorstep in tears, it was kind of fucking rough.”

“Oh, damn,” said Nairi, for lack of anything better. Ten years?Agatha had left that out.

“Yeah,” said Linden with an exaggerated grimace. “I mean, fuck, I’m pretty mercenary when it comes to cheating and the job, but even I felt bad. I helped her do some vandalism on him, and then I introduced her to Flo and some nice single people who helped her figure out she was into women, so like, it all worked out eventually, but it was kind of a rough time for her, you know?”

“Yeah,” echoed Nairi, feeling the pastry sink to the bottom of her stomach. “I’m glad it worked out, in the end.”

“Like I said,” said Linden, nudging her again with a wink and a smile, “she just needed someone like you to swoop in and be the good, stable girlfriend for her.”

Her tone was light and teasing, and Nairi made herself swallow more tea before she answered. “Right, yeah. I don’t know how ‘good’ I am at the whole, Prince Charming thing.”

She’d been trying for a joke, but it fell flat between them.

“You’re doing fine,” said Linden, her tone softening a little, and she looked at Nairi with earnestness in her eyes. “Seriously, Princess. You’re doing fine.”

End of book 1.

#book muay thai #series honey tree #serial fiction #lgbt fiction #117 #book 1

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mingying · 4 years

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Ep 12 Spoilers!!!

IM WRITING THIS WITH TEARS IN MY EYES oh my god I can't believe this drama is making me feel so many things. On to my favourite moments from this episode, in no particular order just what I remember from the top of my head:

1) The recount of what the soldier gang each did in their attempts to locate Seri is HILARIOUS. I really lost it at Gwangbeom getting agency scouting cards from SN/YJ/JYB HAHAHAHA EVEN THE CARD DESIGNS ARE SIMILAR ISTG THIS DRAMA

2) Junghyuk and Eundong playing that online game tgt without even realising is the cutest thing pls TOMATO CULTIVATOR?!AJZKAK Junghyuk really thought of that as his username aka the plant the love of his life gave him I'm yelling!!!

3) Seo Dan's mother's "good morning" and "oh my gosh" cracked me up, I really really love her random English outbursts.

4) Dan saying if Seungjun is lying about him being sick/cold he would get it but then proceeds to bringing food for him and that whole porridge scene between them ugh their dynamics really SNAPPED, I LOVE THIS PAIRING SO MUCH it's such a breath of fresh air that kdramas don't create unnecessary love square/triangle and just focus on developing both couples. I love it!

5) The drinking scene between our favourite riri couple...I had so much feels pls the fact that he told her STRAIGHT UP that he doesn't want to leave the south and that he wants to MARRY her, have CHILDREN THAT LOOKS LIKE HER AND THEN SAYING HE WANTS TWINS IM--- HOWDKKSKS I'VE BEEN GIVING MY ENTIRE LIFE AND NOW I'M FINALLY RECEIVING ;___;

6) I started tearing up when the ahjumma gang each brought something for Young Ae who is sort of in a house arrest now. And her asking them to leave before breaking down seeing all of them coming to help her?? Like, man, I didn't expect this scene to move me so much but it did and now I just want all of them to be happy please they deserve it :(((

7) THE REUNION SCENE OF OUR FAV BOYS AND SERI PLSSSSS when she asked Chi Su to just hug her and he did it while grumbling I think my heart just COMBUSTED with happiness. Finally. FINALLY!!! Also ps I laughed when Junghyuk got jealous of all of them hugging Seri for so long that he broke their hug apart lmaooo

8) The insurance guy getting what he deserves TT I actually was so touched when Seri was looking at the CCTV recordings and then reading the notes he left for her secretary to read like ahhh I know he did it for his work but when Seri said that he was just a stranger but looked tirelessly for her and was maybe two of the only ppl that wanted her to be alive...ugh my heart, my heart!!!

9) Seri's mom is despicable but... I don't exactly hate her? Like ugh she was so damn heartless to leave a child on the beach the entire cold, night...but honestly I'm just glad she's at least trying to redeem herself now even if Seri didn't believe her. I think what really got to me was when Seri apologised for being born into the world, for even breathing. How devastating can that be honestly? :( I just wanna hug her.

10) and then we get THAT birthday surprise scene (I sort of predicted it would happen bc no way they would leave so early...) but what I didn't expect is to start UGLY CRYING like literally my TEARS were just rolling down my cheeks at Seri completely breaking down bc she came home to an empty house and the thought of Junghyuk having left her was too much for her to bear. ON HER BIRTHDAY TOO! I was aboutta throw hands--

11) AND THEN THE LIGHTS CAME ON AND THEY ALL CAME OUT LOOKING GUILTY AF and I started laughing again bc Chi Su holding that penguin plush toy and then hitting Joo Meok with it bc he was the one that suggested they surprised her akzkaksk I LOVE MY SOLDIER BOYS OK

12) okay okay okay I know this is cliche af but I am fcking WEAK for back hugs. It's one of my favorite tropes and to see that happening in this episode...I have officially ascended into heaven.

13) how sweet is it that Junghyuk told Seri that every birthday of hers will be a good day bc it is a reminder that the woman he loves was born on that day, and is alive and well? Holy shit I cannot fathom how good this line is because it is a parallel to all that Seri said about apologising for being born and being alive bc she thought no one loved her?? But then you have Junghyuk who assured her that in this world HE will ALWAYS be grateful that she is part of the world AND is alive. How important is this scene for Seri who has always had suicidal thoughts? I cannot stress how much this scene moved me like I know I'm dramatic af rn but those are words she needed to hear and he gave them to her and I just--

I need to lie down and cry into my pillow now knowing there is no such perfect man like ri junghyuk that exists in real life

#crash landing of love #crash landing on you #ri junghyuk x yoon seri #my otp #episode 12 recap #ramblings #im still crying ok #god i love this drama sfm #kdrama

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richietoaster · 5 years

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Review/Reaction of IT Chapter Two

Let’s just start right off the bat and let me just say that Bill Hader better get a fucking award for his performance.

Alright. Here we go y’all. im trying to stay in order with what happened but so much happened in the movie that my brain is just all over the place so excuse me while i try to form words

UNDER THE CUT CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS

• first opening scene is a fucking LOT okay like i sobbed my eyes out and it was just not cool. adrian and his boyfriend? CUTE AF. Him getting brutally beat up and then killed by Pennywise while Don just watches? NOT CUTE AF

• Mike is a precious boy and I love him so. He cares about his friends so much holy shit. they all get mad at him for lying to them tho.But he only did it to protect them. Mike knew some SHIT(tm) our boy is so smart?? I’m glad they kept to his original storyline

• Older Bill gave himself so much shit this film and i just felt so bad. like we know it isnt ur fault okay?? We know you loved your brother, stop putting yourself down. also?? him becoming protective over dean? please stop my aching heart.

• Jessica Chastain owns my whole heart and she can kick my ass anyday. She plays Bev so well and captures young bev’s personality so well. her scene with mrs kersh was very weird. i knew the second she ran naked in the hall i’d be seeing some weird fucking shit okay

• Jay Ryan could kick me and I would personally thank him like?? wow what a man. He immediately recognizes bev when he first sees her and im just?? im happy. so many hidden new kids on the block reference and it had me fucking rolling in my grave

• JAMES FUCKING RANSONE MY DUDE OH LORD okay listen. he gives off young eddie’s panic and chaotic energy so perfectly i felt like i was watching him as an adult, who just never grew up. I think thats what he was going for honestly. He played eddie SO FUCKING WELL

• I’m so sad about stan. THats all you need to know okay. I’ll talk about his letter later on in this. Stan deserved better. that’s all.

• if you are not a fan of vomit you’re not gonna enjoy richie tozier. literally any time something bad happens hes just like ah shit here we go again *vomits* and honestly? that made me laugh. like hes just like oh shit something is happening let.. let me just.. no no its fine guys ill catch up.. EHBWFIJHDFSIJ no okay but bill hader stole the fucking show. his acting was phenomenal and,, again,, i’ll add more onto that later.

• richie scares the shit out of dean. because he thinks hes pennywise. but can you blame him? the kid just. stared at him all creepy and shit. but its so funny. the losers make fun of him bc he doesnt know his own lines from his acts and richies just like “I dont write my own material” and eddies just like “I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT” dead. goodbye.

• Young losers were still my favorite part honestly. Eddie kept bouncing that stupid ball in stan’s face in the clubhouse and i was waiting for him to get punched in the face tbh. That didn’t even seem like eddie, that was Jack’s energy bursting through the seams lmfao

• young eddie runs into a fucking box and shrieks and if that isn’t me idk ewhdfiajksjdoi

• THE FUCKING. HAMMOCK. SCENE. okay listen to me. thats gay. hammocks are now gay. gays only. gay interacts only. the bickering between reddie had me in TEARS. eddie kept kicking at his face and just?? casually??? lays on him when richie wont move??

• stan’s fucking shower cap ehfdiujasdiosa and then richie being like “nobodys afraid of spiders stanley okay” and eddie slowly removes his because he cares what richie thinks more than spiders ok

• a flashback from after they defeated IT in the first move with reddie “eddie youve been gone for 24 hours your face is most likely on a milk carton by now” “shut up richie”

• yong Richie has me weak af this whole movie, like always. just getting on Eddie’s case. HE PINES SO HARD OH Y GOD Like wow my sweet boy is so fucking in love ouch. which?? BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT??

• THE ARCADE SCENE?? he checks out the kid standing next to him and tries to get him to hang out more and then the other kid tells him to stop being weird because he’s not gay, too, and then uses the F slur. richie was just so hurt. paul bunyun scene happens after that and hes just like “I just shit my pants” and i cried.

• pennywise screaming “lets play truth or dare, you wouldnt pick truth! you dont want them to know your secret” gave off the same energy as eddie’s leper blowjob scene from the book. same energy. do with that as you will.

• they had some flashbacks that included pennywise and im not sure if this was before or after they had defeated IT in the first movie but i interpreted it as after and if thats the case... hes supposed to be dead. but now thinking back on it, it was probably just more scenes before they put pennywise to rest for 27 years.

• young richie went to the kissing bridge after that and we ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THERE. fucking.. r + e :((( although we don’t see him carving the E. but reddie is canon so suck toes antis

• stephen king pretty much being like “I know u and ur endings really do suck” to bill when he comes to buy his bike was so fucking funny. it almost felt like a self insert lmfao. ALSO HIM MAKING BILL PAY 300 BUCKS FOR THE BIKE BC HE KNEW HE COULD AFFORD IT? iconic.

• richie and eddie opening the door to the dog had me laughing. pennywise was just mocking them at that point. they’d be such good dog dads and now im sad

• i was really confused because they added part of stan’s bar mitzvah?? like it wasn’t even the same from the first movie. like they should’ve just put the deleted scene in from ch. 1 and then added that part. thats one of my very few complaints. im slowly hiding them in here.

• henry bowers was kinda irrelevant in this honestly but thank you eddie for stabbing him and richie for killing him for trying to kill mike yall heroes

• BEVS BLOOD SCENE ?? CORRESPONDING WITH BENS BURIED ALIVE SCENE? poetic cinema. 10/10

• the big fight really disappointed me in all honesty. but i think thats because andy said he cut so much from there. i expect it to be better with the director’s cut

• eddie saving richie and then immediately being stabbed by pennywise’s claw? IM DEPRESSED.

• “Rich! rich, i did it! i think i killed him!” Our boy was so happy with himself :(

• eddie’s last words WERE NOT “i fucked your mom”. he was talking to richie and you can hear them talking while the rest are preparing to end pennywise. so im hoping we get that as a deleted scene.

• richie goes back to help finish pennywise but when he goes to check on eddie.. he’s dead. ://// and bev is like “richie, come on, honey.. im sorry” and richie does not want to believe him. he grabs and hugs eddie so tight i swear i could feel that hug from the audience.

• another thing im disappointed in and am sliding in is some of the animations? Like. fucking weird. but okay. luckily i didn’t care too much.

• THE SOB that richie lets out when he holds eddie really hurt my fucking soul jesus christ just kill me

• the losers try cheering him up after and like. thats their friend too but you can just totally tell he’s crying in a different type of grief. THAT WAS HIS FIRST FUCKING LOVE.

• they all remember after and thats really important to me okay

• stan writes letters and its spoken outloud while the other losers get little montages of what theyre doing with their life after the battle. Richie goes back to the kissing bridge and recarves- YES RECARVES AND YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE THE E BEFORE HE DOES- he recarves the E and while doing it, stan’s voice says “be proud of who you are” and im fucking cry ibg okay

• in the end, i give this movie a 7/10 rating. although some of the animations were weird and some of the flashbacks had pennywise in it (like hes supposed to be currently dead but ok... maybe nightmares??) the actors were PHENOMENAL and the chemistry between older richie and older eddie made me so happy. my ship is canon. but im still sad about stan and eddies death.

• ignoring canon in 3.. 2.. 1.. now

#it chapter 2 #it chapter two spoilers #IT CHAPTER TWO #it chapter 2 spoilers #IT SPOILERS #reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #bill denbrough #mike hanlon #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #stanley uris

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zayray030 · 4 years

Text

Iris West Allen Birthday Headcanon

Barry Allen-Her Husband

Barry wakes up at the crack of dawn and always gives makes her the best birthday breakfast ever. He also runs around preparing the area for her when she wakes up.

And when Iris wakes up, it's always to the amazing smell of food and sees her house full of iris's.

Barry tries to stop her from leaving the house, using some *ahem* conventional methods.

(The turtle necks can be unbearable but she'll survive the rest of the day with dignity considering her friends are crazy.)

Team Citizen (Linda, Cynthia and Chester included)

Confetti is poped the moment she walks into the room.

A ton of pictures are taken and put on everyone's insta.

They all sing her happy birthday. No matter how off key it is.

They all make a group effort to make her a cake. She tries not to judge it by its cover and was so happy that she didn't.

Chester makes her a fancy gadget. (Be creative on what it can be cause I honestly don't know.)

Allegra always makes her a nice card, gives her a hug and gives her a cool leather jacket.

Kamilla shows her a scrapbook of all the photos that she's taken of Iris. Some are sexy, some are goofy and and some are cute. She looks good in every single one of them.

Linda let's her use her account for a week to buy as much coffee as she wants. That's probably the greatest gift given, considering how many articles that girl has.

Cynthia alway breaches over and gives her something unique from another earth. (The multiverse exists. Fuck you bitch)

West Family

Her dad always sings her the most unique birthday songs that has everone in tears by the end of it.

Cecile always makes sure to drop in subtle hints about new cases she can work on. (Joe hates it but the look of pure happiness on Iris's face stops him from talking)

Wally gives her an important gem or rune from his travel that symbolises something important. He also squeezes her real tight in a hug to remind himself that it's actually Iris there.

Joe also gives her a huge hug and tells her a story about her mother before the drugs happened. She's always grateful.

Jackie (fuck you she's a West) gives her some pretty clothes and make up that suits her skin tone.

Jenna (although young) gives her a hand drawn card and it's the cutest thing ever.

Team Flash

Oh my Lord, it's humiliating.

Cisco, while amazing, can't sing. It's basically a screach.

Iris just sits there and takes it because he seems so happy.

Well at least until Killer Frost has enough and threatens to throw an icicle at him.

(he takes the hint quickly)

Caitlin gives her a pare of really nice earrings and a nice jacket. She also brings a note with it that says sorry.

(Iris has tried to get her to stop but she won't listen.)

Killer Frost gets her an icicle pendant along with a chocker. She also makes her a custom ice sculpture. She also has a little note that says sorry for killing her. She also grants her infinite hugs for the rest of the day.

Cisco, my boy, gets her 3 different outfits. 1) Work. She needs to look elegant but he adds his own Cisco twist to it. 2) Meta fighting. Even though she doesn't have powers she's a bad ass and he makes sure her outfits are useful to fight. 3)Lounge wear. That boy knows comfy mood and he's got her

Ralph always gives her some new article to work on and they team up for one day any day when Iris wants.

Sue gets her beautiful jewellery .

(she still doesn't know whether she stole it or not)

All the Wells team up to help give a iris her gift. They always either tell her a story, give her beautiful relics or write up a book for her. She's always grateful for them.

Team Arrow

It's madness.

They all like to pretend that they have this in the bag.

But they don't.

They're scared that something would go wrong after Oliver (who's alive) brought her a mirror.

(it was the scariest moment of everyones life when she dropped it and started screaming and crying.)

So after that they always panic and try to get her a perfect gift.

Thea always gets her clothes. She makes sure that they would suit her skin type and limited make up.

Roy, bless his soul, gives her mint chip chocolate and is instantly swarmed with a hug.

(he didn't comment on the small tears.)

Felicity gets her 2 bottles of expensive wines from the Queen cellar along with with chocolate strawberry.

Oliver always gives her an exclusive interview and a really expensive gift.

(he tried to joke that he would show her his abs but when Barry zoomed over and his eyes crackled with lighting he shut his mouth up. Barry's scary when someone else tries to make a move on Iris.)

Laurel gets her purse and a gift bag. In the gift bag there's a small knife and gun along with jewellery.

Diggle and Lyla team up on the gift. They give her a pretty ring that Diggle made (Oliver gave him lessons.) Lyla also makes sure to fill her on in what happens at ARGUS.

The rest all buy her a chocolate cake.

Rogues

Lisa gives her a hug and a golden accessory.

(the gold goes really well with Iris's skin tone and Lisa is always jealous.)

Snart gives her an ice sculpture and teaches her a few words in Russian.

Mick writes her a book. It ranges from writing a list of reasons why people like her to a fantasy story about vampires.

The rest of the rogues make sure not to attack Central City to the week leading up to her birthday to the week after the birthday.

Team Supergirl

Kara gives her a huge hug. No matter what. Iris will always get a hug and a fly around Metropolis.

Alex gets her a gun. She knows it's not exactly normal but she knows it'll protect Iris against aliens that don't take a hint.

Mon-El (fuck you. Him and Kara are amazing) gets her a gift bag full of twizlers.

The rest of the team make a bunch of cupcakes.

Winn makes her some new tech and tries to out make Chester and sometimes Cisco to see who can make the best gift.

Lois gives her a coupon to an amazing spa because she understands the pain of having an idiot husband who's a superhero.

Clark gives her an exclusive for CC Citizen.

Batwoman

Mary makes sure that she gives Iris a shout out on her Insta because she adores her newspaper.

Kate gets her the most expensive gifts and tries to out do Oliver. It's always a competition between those two.

Luke makes her some fancy gadgets and bakes her some cookies.

Everyone teams up to get her a ton of bottles of wine, a dozen boxes of chocolates and a ton of roses.

Legends

Sara gets her artifacts from the different time lines even if it ruins the time line.

Ray gets her a pair of heels

(the first time he does it it was inside joke between him and Iris. After it became a tradition)

John Constantine makes sure to ward her. He places a ton of protective spells around her.

(everyone's grateful)

The rest of the Legends get her books.

Charlie gets her make up knowing what will suit her skin tone.

All Together

It's a fucking nightmare.

There's balloons and tinsel everywhere.

The mess is unreal.

They get dumb drunk.

They sing her happy birthday.

They eat all the cake.

(they're all glad that everyone bought Iris so much cake with Barry and Wally there along with Jesse.)

All criminals are taken care of by the rogues

In the end Barry helps Iris carry all her gifts home and as they lay down she remembers she's still loved and everyone will always protect her.

Iris West Allen is fucking loved.

Spread the fucking word.

#Iris West is loved #fuck anyone who doesn't think so #i love this queen #A lot of references to the mirror verse #im still fucking salty #protect iris West Allen #Iris West deserves better.

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chocojjk · 5 years

Text

Heaven Knows

summary: im not even gonna try, yall know im bad at summaries

words: 2.7k

a/n: this forreal took me 6 hours i think im burning out ,, also guess what?? its not edited

you were chilling in your best friends dorm room without him being there, which is honestly just a normal thing

jisung was out with his friends which means he wouldn't be back for a while

apparently they needed to talk to him about something important

“an intervention, they said,” jisung says chuckling

“What would you need an intervention for??”

“I honestly have no clue”

which left you here, all alone, completely bored out of your mind

laying there in his bed scanning his room for something to do when something shiny on top of his desk caught your eye

with the amount of times you've been here before, you have never seen this object

and so your curiosity got the best of you

you walked over and saw that it was a CD, written on it were the words “for you” and a badly drawn heart, the messy handwriting clearly belonging to your best friend

you chuckle at this

you never knew jisung could be this cheesy

turning on his computer, his screensaver, which was a picture of the two of you, lit up the room

you see, you and jisung have been childhood best friends

your parents were best friends which just means that you guys saw each other all the time

but dont get me wrong, they never forced your guys’ friendhsip

the two of you just got along

growing up, you would always be by his side and him yours

you didnt trust anyone as much as you trusted jisung

inputting in the CD, his honey-like voice started filling the air

“hey, its jisung, haha, of course you know that since ive already given this to you”

you let out small chuckle, clearly enjoying how worked up your best friend sounded

you cant help but feel guilty for invading his personal space

but c’mon, it was you and jisung

personal space is a myth when it comes to the both of you

and so you continued to listen

“umm, ive been meaning to tell you this for a while but could never find the words to do so , so uh,, i-i made you a CD with all the songs that makes me think of you”

‘how cute’ you thought to yourself, ignoring the rising jealousy that you were feeling in the pit of your stomach

wait what??

pshh, youre not jealous

why would you be jealous??? he’s just your best friend

‘im just disappointed that he didnt trust me with this,’ you told yourself

yup, thats all, just clear and utter disappointment

jealousy? we dont know her

plus, you had a very loving boyfriend

“ok so this first song is just how i feel whenever we’re together, this is better together by jack johnson”

and as the song filled your ears, you can't help but imagine that this CD was for you

keyword: imagine

jisung has made it very clear that he only saw you as his best friend, heck, maybe even as his sister

you think back to the day where you joked around of a possibility of the two of you

“ji, what if one day you become my boyfriend”

“hahaha y/n, that’s a weird joke”

“why is that so weird??”

“uhm because were just best friends” he replies, stating the obvious

and ever since then you have pushed the thought of you guys as a couple in the back of your head

never allowing your feelings to surface for the boy

your thoughts were interrupted when you heard your best friends sweet voice again

“ok remember when your first boyfriend broke your heart? well this song pretty much sums up how i felt the whole time, and every other time you get in a relationship.”

“I could treat you so much better than them, you know?”

“why can't you see that??? haha,, anyways this is Better by Gabe Bondoc”

damn, whoever this girl was got jisung whipped as fuck

you started wondering who she was and how come jisung never told you about her before

was she part of your friend group? did you know her?

whoever she was, you hoped that she’d wake up soon and realize what a catch your best friend is and that she would have to be the dumbest person alive to not love him back

“okay uhm, were halfway in this playlist now. sometimes i feel like you feel this way too, but i don't know, maybe i'm just being delusional. this is Friends by Ed Sheeran”

okay so clue number 1, this girl is definitely good friends with jisung

what the fuck han jisung

who is she

“if they find out would it all go wrong and heaven knows no one wants it to,”

you dont know why or what happened, but when you heard that line of the song, you cant help but release all the bottled up feelings that youve been hiding

yes, you were in love with your best friend

yes, you got into relationships as a way to get over him

no, it never works

because every time you were left with a broken heart, he was there to piece it all back together

he was there wiping your tears, holding you, singing you cheesy love songs

he was there with his bad jokes that always brings a smile on your face, making you happy, making you whole again

jisung was always there, and you cant escape him

and now as you listen to a playlist not made for you, your heart begins to break

surely if this was for you, he would have given it to you a long time ago

just the mere thought of jisung caring for another girl besides you hurt your heart

you decided that it was time to stop

you scolded yourself for even listening to it in the first place

and so you took the CD out, and put it back where it belong

a couple minutes later, jisung enters his room, seeing your figure seated in front of his computer, your head rested on your hands as your shoulders shook slightly, a sign that you were crying

“hey, are you okay?” he says grabbing your hands, making you look straight into his eyes

“shh it’s okay, im here,” he continues, pulling you into a warm hug

and you can't help but be mad

why the fuck was he being so sweet to you when he’s in love with someone else

han jisung, this is not fair, not fair at all

and then you realized that you were doing the same exact thing

you pushed him away from you, which caused him to stumble back, hitting the desk behind him

“I-i have to go”

“y/n??”

running out of the room, jisung tried to chase after you however,,

“Woah woah woah why are you in such a hurry?”

chan and minho

“I-uh y/n just ran out and i-”

“y/n again?, jisung didnt we just talk about how you should see her less,” minho exclaims

“Yeah, this really isnt healthy for you jisung, you really should stop pining over this girl,” chan continued

“guys, shes my best friend!”

“Ok and she obviously doesnt wanna talk to you if she ran away, dont force yourself in places where you dont belong or youll just get hurt in the end,” the older guys continued

“I-”

“were just looking out for you jisung,” chan finishes

and so with his head drooped down, he made his way back into his room

and then he noticed it,,

the CD

‘fuck fuck fuck’

A million thoughts were racing through jisungs head

he was sure that you've heard it, why else would you react that way when you saw him

god, he should've never made that CD in the first place

was he that much of a coward that he couldnt just tell you he was in love with you in person

and now you know and obviously dont feel the same

‘Great going jisung, you just ruined your relationship with your best friend’

---

its been 3 days and there hasnt been any contact within the both of you

you ended up breaking up with your 4 month long boyfriend

“Its because of jisung huh?”

“i…,”

you racked your brain for a different excuse but then decided to come clean, this boy has always been so sweet to you, the least you could do is be honest with him

“how’d you know?”

“I see the way you look at him y/n, its like youre looking at millions of stars, i always hope you’d learn to look at me that way”

“are you mad?”

he gives you a sad smile, “no.. not at you, i always knew this would happen”

“im really sorry hyunjin”

“Its okay, i wish you and jisung all the happiness in the world”

“thank you,” you reply even though you knew that it wasnt going to happen since he liked someone else

meanwhile, jisung has locked himself up in his room

he was ashamed of himself for making that playlist

his friends have been asking him to hang out yet all he can do is mope around listening to the stupid songs that he has added and cringing at how dumb his voice recordings sounded

he missed you so much but he was so scared to reach out to you

3 days might not seem like a long time, but with you and jisung, 3 days felt like a whole year

Im not saying that you guys are always glued together, no, thats not the case

But you guys would always text each other

Sending each other memes throughout the day

But now the both of you was just left with silence

It really allowed you both to think

he figured you hated him and never wanted to see him again

So he never expected you to knock on his door

“chan, go away, just leave me here to cry”

“errmm, its not chan”

,,,

jisungs eyes nearly popped out of his sockets as soon as he heard your voice

and in one quick second he was scrambling to open his door

“you were crying???”

“no”

“whats wrong?”

“nothing, im glad youre here”

“umm, why wouldn't i be?”

“I-i just thought that after the other day, you wouldnt-”

“about that” you say, quickly cutting him off

*gulps*

“can we talk?”

“arent we doing that right now?” jisung jokes but as soon as he saw the nervous expression on your face, he shut his mouth and let you in , closing the door behind him

‘oh god, shes gonna tell me that she never wants to see me ever again’

“im sorry-”

“I didnt mean it-”

“what?”

the both of you having confused expressions written on your faces

“You first,” you say

Jisung nervously scratches the back of his head, refusing to meet your gaze

“the - the cd, i,, i didnt mean it” he says but the way he slightly bit his lip afterwards was a clear indication that he was lying

did he forget that he was your best friend? there was really no point in lying to you

however, you just chose to ride along with his little lie

“oh, well then i guess that makes what im about to say easier”

accepting the fact that you were about to break his heart, he nods at you, urging you to go on

“Jisung, im in love with you”

“its okay that you don't like me back, we can still be best friends -- wait...what?” jisung replies quickly, ending his prepared speech

You looked at him, stunned at his sudden confession

“You're in love with me?”

“You like me ??”

damn both of you guys are so dumb i sWEAr

“Well,,,, yeah,,,, didnt you listen to the CD? I literally say your name in it”

(⊙ˍ⊙)

(⊙＿⊙)

(@[]@!!)

“WHEN???”

“After the last song,” he says, like it was the most obvious thing on earth

“I-” you make yourself over to his desk, looking for the CD

as soon as you found it, you plopped it into his computer

“really y/n???? Youre gonna listen to it right in front of me as if i havent been embarrassed enough” he says with a pout

“jisung shuT UP”

you fast forward to the part where you left off of

“this next song is called Wait for You,, im sure you know this song as we always sing to it toegether, but yeahh ill always be here waiting for the day to come when you finally notice me”

The song begins to play yet you fast forward even more in rapid search of your name

“and, well this brings us to the last song,, god, i really hope you dont hate me right now, if you haven’t guessed by now, im in love with you. I dont know when it started or how it happened, maybe ive been in love with you ever since we were three, i don't know okay. But yeah,,, i fell in love with my best friend, god this is so cliche, but y/n l/n i love you”

you were shocked,,,

but at the same time, you felt like you can finally breathe

he loves you back

Han Jisung fucking loves you back

god reader, if you just stayed and listened until the very end, maybe this au wont be so long my brain cells are disappearing writing this

jisung wasn't making an effort to say something, not even to joke around

he was just sitting on his bed behind you, waiting for you to do something,, anything

we all know by now that he aint going to be the one to make the first move

the last song playing was the only thing that could be heard in the room

until,, you finally turned to face him, wearing the biggest smile on your face

you tackled him unto the bed

“oof”

“you're so annoying,,” you say, hitting him

at this point he has his arms around you as you were sprawled out across his body

“I love you too,” you confess, looking straight in his eyes

jisung doesn't know where he got his newly found courage

But he wasnt complaining as he reached out to your face, finally connecting his lips upon yours

“Ive been wanting to do that for so long”

“Why didnt you?”

“Well, you had a- dklfjasfkasjf,,,,, wait,,,,,, you have a boyfriend???”

And now were back to frantic jisung

“dont worry ji, i broke up with him,” you say a small smile on your lips

“wait, you broke up with him???

are you dumb????

He has like the prettiest face???

And like the nicest lips??

And hes so tall and he can dance so well!!”

“Jisung, if i didnt know any better, i would think you have a crush on him”

“shut up, im just saying,, that man is pReTTY”

“yeah youre right, he has everything i want in a man, maybe i should call him again, tell him i was just kidding about the break up” jisung pouts at this

“uhm, im sorry but you have a boyfriend now so you cant do that”

“oh really?”

“yep”

“who is he ??”

“y/nnn,,” jisung whines

“what?”

“will you be my girlfriend???”

“as long as you make me more CD’s” you say teasingly

“oh shut up”

1 year later

you and jisung are still going as strong as ever, and it was great

it was like you guys were always meant to be together, your relationship being the perfect balance of best friends and lovers

as you were cleaning out your bedroom, you spotted the CD, still looking as shiny as ever, in between a couple of your books, and you cant help but smile at the memory

you were so lost in your thoughts that you didnt notice your boyfriend enter your room

“babe whats that?”

“oh nothing, just a certain CD that this overly romantic boy made me,”

“oh god, youre never gonna let that go huh”

“I just didnt know you could be THIS cheesy, like you really were symping over me” you say

the CD became an inside joke between the two of you,,,

you would always tease jisung about how cliche it was

“I still cant believe you didnt listen until the end, like what kind of dumbass just starts a playlist and doesnt even listen to the whole thing”

“hey!, youre the one in love with me, so guess whos the bigger dumbass”

a/n: oops another one but the last song is called Best Friend by Jason Chen hehe

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joonyverse · 5 years

Text

The President - Baekhyun (EXO) (Part 4)

Summary: Being the youngest Minister is not easy, especially when it seems like the whole world is trying to go against you. Proving yourself is proven to be a difficult thing. But things had to get even more tangled when dark pasts are coming out, and truths are being unveiled

A/N: OHYMYGOD! IM SO SO SO SORRY FOR THE VERY LONG DUE UPDATE! I’ve seen your messages too, and THANK YOU for the loves and support! I just finished my exam early this month and I admit that perhaps I’ve been procrastinate a lot hjjh, this chapter doesn’t really involve lots of bh x reader moments, but i hope you guys enjoy it? ;-; im so sorry i havent write in so long, so im in the process of getting use to it all over again...

Genre: Drama, romance, fluff, angst

Warning: Age-gap (10 years), some curses, bad english, grammar error, unedited

notes: yln = your last name, yfn = your full name

masterlist

Byun Baekhyun x Female Readers

If you’re uncomfortable with age-gap relationship, please just scroll through it

Flashes of images went through your vision. Sounds of children crying and screaming filling your head. The heat from the fire, it feels like it’s gonna burn your skin. All of those feels so close yet so far. It goes so slow yet so fast. The images and sensation overwhelm you to no end.

And suddenly, it’s all stopped. The images of bus on fire, the children screaming, it’s like everything is just in the background and a white noise.

Instead, you saw a little girl looking around feeling helpless and devastated. You can see her screaming weakly for help. Tears were streaming down her face. Her little arms keep shaking the man beside her, trying to wake him up. She keeps asking for the man to wake up yet the man shows no sign of it. Every once in a while, she weakly screams for help to people around her, and really you tried. You tried to reach for her, yet you can’t. It’s like you weren’t even there. Desperately, you tried to reach for other people to help the poor little girl to no avail. Everyone were busy. With everything in you, you run to her. Run to her despite no moves were being made.

Until finally, you saw two hands reaching for her. Holding her and taking her away. You see her trying hard to get out of the grasp, reaching for the man that still laying still. She cried even harder. And suddenly, it’s like you were being picked up from underwater, her voice sounds clear to you. “Please help my dad! Dad! Dad!” she screams.

And suddenly, something exploded, right before your eyes. You want to scream, screaming for help. But you can’t It’s like something is blocking your voice cord from doing so. Until your visions went white and it turns to black.

A faint sound of beeping in certain type of rhythm caught your hearings. Sounds of people in rush too. And suddenly, you can feel the stiffness of your body.

You tried to move your fingers, a simple move that seems very difficult at the moment. Slowly, you opened your eyes. Blinding light of the room immediately greeting you, making you frown and closed your eyes again, trying to get used to the bright light.

The smell of some kind of chemical hit your smelling bud. You stare at your surrounding, taking it all in, trying to remember what had happened.

Suddenly the door to your room opened. Your eyes shoot at the intruder.

“Oh? You’ve wake up” Mina said to you as she entered the room.

You sighed and rubbed your eyes slowly. “What happened?” You asked, your voice hoarse and your throat feels dry.

Mina hands you a glass of water, that you gladly accept.

“You don’t remember?” Mina asked as she took a seat beside you.

“Only fragments? I can only remember the smell of gasoline and fire and the heat” you said.

“You and your impulsiveness... you were face to face with an almost death situation” Mina said while shaking her head. “You helped those kids in the bus” she added.

Slowly, the memories start coming back. Your eyes widened in realization.

“Those kids, they’re all saved right?” You said, panic starts to kicking in.

Mina held your arms, trying to calm you down. But the stare she gave you, it held so many meanings that you know so well.

“8 casualties...” Mina said, her voice getting quieter.

You froze in your bed. Despite knowing you can’t do anything about them, guilts till eating you alive, making you feel somehow responsible about it.

“Nothing you can do y/n, you tried your best, nothing you can do,” Mina explained in the most comforting way she could.

“What about the others? And the man?” You asked.

“Fortunately, they survived, some got serious burn, but most are just light wounds, the man is also alright” Mina explained. “Listen, I’m gonna tell the doctor you woke up okay?” She asked which earned a light nod from you.

The doctor came into your room with two nurses by his side. Checking up on you. Fortunately, nothing serious happened, you just inhale too much carbon monoxide and other chemicals that you don’t bother to remember. Even more fortunate, he said they can discharge you in three days if your health keep improving like the estimation.

You are just glad that you can escape this place and dive more into the job.

Suddenly you got reminded of the vision, or dream, that you saw. Something about it makes you feel distraught. Something about it makes you feel a missing part in you. Trying to ignore them, you decide to turn on your phone, diving into the internet to see what’s up and what have you missed.

As soon as the phone turned on, so many notifications came up, most of them are friends, plenty from family. Your mom missed called you once, and honestly speaking, it’s not surprising.

One message though, particularly caught your eyes. It’s the most recent one. From your mom.

“I knew there’ll always be something to be disappointed for from you” was written across the screen.

Your heart can’t help but clench. It shouldn’t bother you, it shouldn’t bother you when it had happen for so many times that you should have get used to it by now but you don’t.

You immediately come up to the internet though, wondering what makes your mom send you such message.

“Minister of Transportation and Communication is Faking Her Heroic Action?”

Was written on big sized fonts. An article that finally beat the ‘President and Minister are dating’ article.

“It was found that maybe the Minister is faking her heroic action for publicity purpose, and even, staged the whole scenario”

You can’t even believe what you’re reading with your own two eyes. Who was in their right mind and heart to write such things? 8 people died and they said it’s all a scheme?

“We hope sincerely the President will give thoughts on replacing his Minister, or perhaps, Lover”

You scoffed. You can feel the anger is one step away from crossing your limit. You felt tears are building in your eyes. You felt thankful at Mina for leaving the room at that time. You felt so ridiculed. You haven’t even work properly, yet people are already accusing you of such things. They just… haven’t seen what you capable of.

You see that the rest of article are just sub-writing that article. The comments are mostly curses and death wishes. This is one hell of a tough start for you, you’ve realized.

Mina who was just entering the room can’t help but notice the frown on your face. Gently, she took the phone from your hold. Your hands instinctively reach up for it.

“I’m not finished!” You whined at her.

“Rest, we don’t need this kind of negativity while on recovery” Mina said as she put your phone on the bedside table, a little bit further than your reach.

The knock on the door stole both of your attentions. Both of your heads shot up at it.

“A guest?” You asked.

“No one really saying anything about visiting except your family” Mina said, as she gave you a slight shrug.

Mina walked towards the door and opened it. Her eyes are furrowed in confusion. “Mr. Lee?” She called out.

“There’s a card and a basket of fruits from the President” Mr Lee said with his monotonous tone before he handed said things to Mina.

Mina muttered a small thank you before she closed the door and walked back towards you.

She handed you the card and left the basket on your bedside table.

“Who was that?” You asked while slowly opening the card.

“Oh? He was Mr. Byun’s chauffeur” Mina answered despite the lack attention from you since your eyes were already on the card.

A simple “Get well soon” was written on the card. You can’t help but scoffed and rolled your eyes. You appreciate the effort he gave though. But still, it’s a classic and textbook kind of kindness, and for some reason, it kind of annoyed you.

“I’m his minister for goddamn sake...” you muttered under your breath. Of course that was heard by Mina, which earned a chuckle from her.

You felt unfairly treated. You are still his minister no matter how many things had happened between you both in a matter of days. You should be treated with respect, and yet... he doesn’t even bother. Not that you care.

Reaching for the TV remote, you turn it on. Continuously changing the channel, nothing in particular caught your eyes. When suddenly you came across a headline.

“Minister’s Fake Heroic Action”

You scoffed. Feeling absolutely ridiculed. But you can’t lie that it’s actually caught your attention. And so you turn up the volume, curiosity picking in on what those people had to say.

What caught your attention more was the statement the president himself about to make.

“So far, we’ve been informed by the medical team that Minister y/l/n got minor injuries but thankfully nothing serious” Baekhyun said into the mic, his voice and expression was stern. “I can assure you that we will get to the bottom of this incident, together with Miss Y/l/n, we will solve this case” he added.

For some reason Baekhyun mentioning your name bring a slight smile to your day. It feels good in some way having someone to be on your side, trusting you, when it feels like the whole world doesn’t.

People was crowding the hospital’s entrance as it was the day you got discharged. Questions were asked here and there, of course all asking about what had happened in the incident. It was difficult to walk to enter your car when people keep pushing towards you to get closer, despite the securities surrounding you. After successfully entering the car, Mina kindly handled the situation, and you can’t be more thankful to her.

“Where to, Ma’am?” Your chauffeur asked.

“The president’s residence please”

His house was… well he’s a president, his house is just what you expect. A grand scale you could say, especially for someone who lives alone. Black, white, and grey are the colors that seem to decorate the house that feels more like a castle you would say. The smell of teakwood hit the smelling sense as soon as you stepped in. His housekeepers greeting whoever the guests that came to his house. A hint smell of some dishes entering your nose too, probably came from the dining room that’s not very far from the entrance. The man probably get hungry as soon as he finished work and enter the comfort of his house you thought.

“Ah, Miss y/l/n” Baekhyun said as he greeted you. “My cooks made us some foods to talk over with, would you like to eat?” He offered.

You gave him a small smile, alas not genuine. “Sure thing, Mr. Byun” you said, accepting his offer. Truth be told, you were hungry for some real food, not some bland hospital food.

You stepped into his dining room. As expected, his cook was there, greeting you with a smile. “Nice meeting you, Ma’am” his cook said. Your eyebrow raised in wonder. The image of warm homemade food come into your vision. You can’t help but gulping. You really can’t wait to devour them all. The smell of cream soup, truffle, and some other herbs filling your smelling sense.

Baekhyun who seems to notice your hunger state can’t help but chuckle. He might has some rivalry going on with you, but staring at the woman who usually keep her emotions covered and buried inside, and always seem to be calm, suddenly looking like a starve woman who hasn’t ate for years, it was an amusing sight.

“Please sit down, you can eat” Baekhyun said, with a slight tease in his tone.

You got embarrassed at the fact you can’t hide your hunger. Slight blush creeping up your cheeks. You chuckled. “I’m sorry, hospital foods were terrible” you said.

“Oh, I know very well, Miss y/l/n” Baekhyun said, his voice sounded a little bit solemn, hinting at something that you can’t pinpoint.

“So, why did you ask me to come sir?” You asked as you sit down, with Baekhyun following afterwards.

“I have something to discuss with you miss Y/l/n” He answered as he picked up his spoon. “It’s about the incident” he added.

You swallowed your food, which by the way tastes amazing, you almost moan from the taste itself, before answering him. “Don’t worry, I’ll get into it sir” you reassured.

“It’s not about that” he said as soon as you finished your sentences. Your head instantly shot up at him. He looked somewhat distressed, and you can see him trying to hide it. “I’m going to form a special team for it” he added.

His voice somewhat have this very serious tone. You knew this was a serious situation, but something in his voice, it’s like there’s something that he’s hiding from you. “With all due respect sir, I think my team back at my office can handle this well” you said carefully, tip-toeing around eggshells.

You can see his frown from your seat despite him still having his head down at his food. “Y/n, listen to me for this one and obey me, I don’t want to argue about this, we’re going to make a special team, that’s it” he said. The wrinkles on his forehead showed the distress he’s going through.

Honestly, you wanted to go against his order, knowing very well that this is something that you and your team can handle, and the fact this might be your chance to prove yourself, you won’t miss that chance. But you knew very well that he has something to hide, and honestly, for some reason you kind of pitied him.

“Right” you said simply. “So, what do you want me to do about it? Do you want me to gather people or?”

“Come here again tomorrow, 8pm”

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im-tops-bottom · 5 years

Text

Voldemort looks mortified when Lucius stands against him. His anger turns to rage and suddenly he has a wand directed at Draco.

Lucius who is standing in front of a wounded Sirius looks up after checking on the man just in time to see the wand raised at his son.

"NO!"

Everything becomes a blur at that point as he races towards his son. He recalls people saying his name but he ignores them in favor of Draco who has finally clicked on to what is happening. Next thing he knows pain shoots through him as he shields his son. This is followed up by bright lights and then darkness.

Lucius finds himself standing in a hill with a tree. Next to the tree is someone familiar.

"Severus?"

The dark haired man turns around and smiles as Lucius slowly makes his way up the hill.

"I saw what you did Lucius. You saved that mutt of all people"

Lucius clears his throat as his cheeks go red.

"Severus"

"its okay you know. You are allowed to love other people"

Lucius looks up in shock which turns to pain.

"i don't....I can't.....i-i"

"i know you will still hold me dear to your heart. I think that it's finally time to stop thinking about the what ifs. Start thinking about your future"

"but"

"let go Lucius"

Lucius sighs as he stands in front of Severus and holds his hands to his chest.

"you always were the smart one"

"and I also was the best at reading people, especially you."

"I'll still love you you arrogant bastard"

"I'll always love you two my blonde savior. Now you shouldn't be here. Go back to him. Go back to the mutt and don't let him go"

"no! I'm not ready. Severus!"

"say hello to my godson for me"

"SEVERUS! NO!"

Lucius screams in pain as everything goes black and the next thing he knows, he's woken up in the forest clearing. He's crying in pain from the hex Voldemort threw his sons, pain from the realization kicking in that yes he has lost his first love, pain from almost losing his son, pain from almost losing Sirius, the man he has fallen in love with. His eyes close as falls back in to the darkness from too much pain.

The next time he wakes up, it's in a hospital bed. He's laying on his side. He tilts his head to find Sirius asleep pressed up behind him while his arm is wrapped around his son who is cuddled up to him.

"oh you are awake"

Lucius looks up to the familiar voice and spots Harry who stands at the end of the bed smiling.

"you know....they have never left your side once. They are due for a week long bath if you ask me"

"week long?"

"yes. You have had a week long sleep. No one knew if you were going to make the first night but somehow you managed to pull through"

"what happened?"

"after you stood between Voldemort and Draco, you got hit by a powerful hex that should have killed you. It did actually. I came just in time to destroy Voldemort for good. I don't wanna know what would have happened if I didn't make it in time."

"I died?"

"yeah. Then Sirius kissed you and your heart started beating again. We made it to St Mungos before you almost died on us again. My godfather fought tooth and nail to make sure you stayed alive"

"he did?"

"yeah. He loves you Mr Malfoy. You both are very lucky men"

Before Lucius could ask what he is going on about, a nurse comes in and notices Lucius is awake and calls for a doctor to come and do check ups.

All the noises woke Draco and Sirius up. Sirius fell off the bed in shock and relief. Draco cried and hugged his father like their lives depended on it. After awhile Harry takes Draco out of the room in promise of food.

After all the check ups are done and Lucius is told that he will need to stay a few more days to make sure he's out of harms way, a nurse advises she will bring up some food for Lucius and his boyfriend.

"uhhh he's errr he's not my boyfriend. Really. Thats just pure nonsense"

"Lucius"

"yes?"

"shut up"

Lucius sits up on the bed stares at Sirius dumbfounded.

"i beg your pardon"

"oh please don't play dumb. Everyone that is everyone, including me, know that you are in love with me"

Lucius rolls his eyes and looks anywhere but at Sirius.

"I have no idea what you are talking ab-"

Lucius' eyes widen as he feels Sirius' lips pressed against him. He lets out a little embarrassing whine as Sirius pulls back. This causes him to go red and Sirius to smirk.

"you are just the w-"

Lucius pouts as he gets cut off again by Sirius and his need to kiss him.

"i will hex you you mangey m-"

Once again Sirius kisses him.

"WILL YOU STOP KISSING ME!"

"I'll stop kissing you when you start playing nice and be honest"

Lucius tries to turn around on the bed but then he gets dragged down to a full laying position. He finds Sirius has pushed his legs open and sitting between them. His hands have lucius' in a hold above his head. His smirk not once leaving his face.

"i know that you will always hold a place for Severus in your heart. I also know that you are in love with me. That's okay. Its okay to let go. Snivellus wouldn't want you to think to much about the past."

"are you trying to say something nice about him?"

"shut up. Its only gonna happen once. Now, all I'm asking....no in fact I'm not gonna ask, I'm gonna fight for it."

"what are you talking about?"

"im in love with you. Been in love with you the moment I first met you when we were kids. Azkaban could never take that away. No matter how hard they tried, you were the only thing that kept me going, kept me fighting"

Lucius lets out a little gasp when he looks into Sirius' eyes and finds that he's telling the truth.

"why didn't you say anything?"

"i was a runt. It also didn't help that I was a prankster that helped bully your best friend. Not to mention you were a god damn Slytherin prefect who Tom Riddle kept keen eyes on"

"oh for the love of God, why does everyone keep thinking he was in love with me"

"oh please even the dumbest of dumb could see that even though he was an asshole, he was in cloud 9 with you"

"that is an outrageous accusation"

"he threatened my cousin when she was arranged to marry you. He threatened Remus"

"Lupin?"

"oh please you were one of the most gorgeous people at Hogwarts. I think everyone was head over heels for you. People were either threatened or were killed if they so much as flirted with you. As you can see, I was only threatened."

"he he was ...."

"yes he was and from what I heard from my cousin even as Voldemort he still was. He hated the fact that you fell in love with Snape. In fact aside from Harry, you were the other reason why our Lord went batshit crazy"

The boys look up to find Narcissa standing by the door. After a couple of seconds she walks over to the bed and hugs Lucius.

"glad to see you alive. You okay?"

"yeah I think he's just reeling in the fact that so many people liked him"

"well it can't be helped pretty boy. Now, I'm gonna take our son and Harry home so they can have proper food. I have asked the doctors if we can just take you home and have our private ones watch over you. They said to bring you back should anything go wrong. Sirius I expect you to bring him back safe and sound"

"yes ma'am"

"good. See you boys at home. Dinner will be ready soon"

After Narcissa left they resume their talking.

"it was because of me that my lord acted that way. I'm so sorry. Not only to you but to everyone who didn't deserve it"

"don't worry about it. He's dead and you are alive. That is all that matters"

Lucius looks up at Sirius and realizes that they were cuddling and is trying to figure out how the hell did they get in they position and how the hell did he manage to hug Narcissa when he felt something wet drop onto his bare flesh. He sees tears fall and tries to wipe it away but Sirius catches his hand and brings it to his mouth.

"are you okay?"

"honestly, no I'm not okay. I almost lost you twice. I don't think I could bare a life without you. I was scared thinking about losing you. I was scared for Draco who loves you darely. I don't wanna lose you again. "

"how about my knight in shining armor becomes one of those annoying bodyguards who follow people around 24/7?"

"do I get to order you around?"

"you tell what to do and I will hex you from here to kingdom come. And I was joking about the bodyguard"

"nope too late. You already said it. I'm gonna protect you and the family no matter what. Bedides...."

Sirius places little bites along Lucius' skin as he makes his way to his ear and drops his voice the lowest and deepest it can go. His hand making its way down Lucius' stomach.

"I like to think you love being told what to do. Especially in bed. Snape may have been bullied and was a massive introvert but I can see him dominating the shit out of you."

Sirius smirks as he hears a gasp as his hands brushes along the bottom of the hospital gown. He grabs the end and lifts it up slowly.

"do you get off being told what to do my dear Lucius? I bet you like to cause mischief just so you can get spankings"

Lucius lets out a whine as he tries to focus on breathing. His eyes snapped shut.

"oh you do like that. Hmmmmm I look forward to getting to know more about what your body likes. I plan on getting to know it very well. I'll love to get to know you properly on a personal level but I can't help but find a submissive side to you extremely"

Lucius lets out a loud moan as Sirius licks his neck right up to his ear where he nips it.

"thrilling"

Lucius is a complete mess and extremely hard from all of that attention.

"now!"

Sirius chuckles as he watches Lucius whine and the sudden loss of contact

"let's get your things and go home for dinner. I do terribly miss my cousins cooking"

"you are a monster"

"you do say the sweetest things. Now come along and maybe if you are a good boy, I'll give you a perfect welcome home present up in your room tonight"

"i hate you."

"no you don't."

Sirius laughs as he helps a growling Lucius get dressed and get up to leave, expecting his cousin to have already filled out the release forms. He holds onto the love of his life the thoughts of never letting go at the forefront of his mind. Maybe his crazy fucked up life isn't going to be so bad after all.

#hp #Sirius x Lucius #i keep leaving for weeks on end #and come back with some form of angst #sorry not sorry

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