୧ ׅ𖥔 ۫ on n’ on, my girlfriend callin’ my phone. ⋄ 𓍯
…IN WHICH; i have mean!luke x fem!reader thoughts.
tags/warnings; drake mention(scary), luke holding reader like that one scene in catch me if you can, luke has rings, toxic!luke, shotgunning/alcohol usage, weed/drug usage/luke insists he blows smoke into ur mouth, softie!luke at the end, suggestive content ahead‼️
ೃauthor notes⁀➷ i know i was just preaching about loser!luke but PLEASEEEEE LET ME FUCKING COOK HERE also LOOK AWAY IF YOU KNOW ME PLEASEEE😭😭
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—mean!Luke who blows smoke into your mouth!!!
“c’mon, baby. it won’t be too much f’you.”
luke went on, the burning joint between his fingers. the smell was too much, even with the cars windows rolled down. sitting in an empty parking lot, trust issues by drake blasting at 2AM wasn’t the ideal situation for you.
you shook your head, turning your head away from him. a hum of disapproval left your throat, earning a raspy chuckle from him.
“i told you, ‘m alright.”
“please? it won’t hurt ya.”
you huffed, adjusting your position, leaning farther away from him. until you felt his hands firmly grip your chin, forcibly turning your head toward him.
“i’ll do all the work—all you’d need to do is breath in, princess.”
luke’s pupils were dilated and the white in his eyes now a light red. he had a loopy grin on his face, his eyes seemingly scanning every inch of you. he moved his knee further up, going between your legs.
you, being a flustered mess, slowly opened your mouth slightly. luke laughed at you, quite rude in your opinion. he took a drag from the blunt, holding the smoke in his lung for a moment.
luke’s grip on your chin didn’t falter once.
“remember, breath in.”
he mumbled, pulling your face closer. luke exhaled as you inhaled, the smoke causing your eyes to water. you mimicked his routine when he had finished inhaling, holding it in for a moment before coughing.
luke snickered as he rubbed your back.
“aw, ‘m sorry. you poor, poor thing. hm? it’s alright. stop bein’ a baby.”
—mean!luke who taught you how to shotgun.
“jus’ like that.”
he muttered, watching over your shoulder with his arms crossed. luke had handed you a can of beer and his ring and told you to shotgun with a grin.
“stab it. right..”
he dragged out before pointing to the bottom of the can, grabbing your wrist to tilt it a certain way.
“there.”
with your lips tightened and a sigh, you pierced through the can with his silver ring. without a second thought, you started downing the beer, trying to ignore the liquid running down your arm.
luke laughed as you tossed the now empty can aside, brushing your hair back. he rubbed your shoulder as you coughed, a scowl on your face. you shook off the beer that still ran down your arm with a groan.
luke finally spoke up, still laughing slightly. his voice was raspy and dragged out, slurring his words.
“look at you. such a big girl now, huh?”
“oh, shut up.”
“make me.”
—mean!luke who makes you beg, despite your pride.
“what was that? i can’t hear you.”
“stop bein’ so mean, luke!”
“i ain’t bein’ mean. you’re jus’ being a baby.”
luke said with a chuckle in his voice, leaning closer toward you. his lips were mere centimetres away from yours as a thumb rubbed your inner thigh, his knee keeping your legs apart.
your lips quivered as you felt his hand go further up your leg, more out of embarrassment than anything.
“luke, please.”
“please, what?”
his smirk was met with silence. he cupped your cheek, pulling you closer toward him as he kissed the corner of your mouth.
“go on. call me mean as much as you’d like, doesn’t change what you want. does it?”
“you’re so mean.”
“oh, i know.”
—mean!luke who secretly comforts and praises you behind closed doors.
“i know, i know. ‘m sorry.”
you sniffled as you crawled onto his lap. rain trickled on your cabins windows, thunder quietly striking in the distance. luke shushed you once more, dragging it out longer than the last.
“it’s alright, baby. you’re a strong girl.”
he mumbled into your shoulder as you curled up into a ball, hiding your face in his neck. luke gently held your hip, rubbing his thumb across your skin. luke pressed light kisses across your shoulder and neck, mumbling small shushes between them.
moments like these with luke were rarer than you’d like to admit; but they lasted long. they were drawn out. you’ve always suspected it was for more of your own pleasure than for luke’s.
“i’ll make sure of it.”
“you promise?”
“i promise.”
you held up a pinky, your head moved slightly just enough to see him take his hand off your hip to link your pinkies together. luke kissed the back of your hand before going back to holding your waist. the rain becoming the only sound to fill the room as your sniffles stopped.
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you know it's really funny looking back at the complaints on episode 6 of the percy jackson tv series. and by funny, i mean annoying.
"they should be doing more "show don't tell!!"" as if this fandom isn't full of illiterate idiots. like episode 6 didn't have the best example of "show don't tell" and the coolest change from book to tv.
people were so whiny about the changes in episode 6 that i have yet to see anyone point out that Hermes sabotaged the quest
Hermes sabotaging the quest, and Percy deciding to keep going is frankly such a cool way of incorporating Book 5 stuff into the first season.
In Book 5, Hermes states that he does care about Luke but he is helpless to change his fate. And then translating that into Hermes making the trio fail the lightning thief quest - showing how Hermes tries to protect Luke from discovery - and Percy forging on with the quest regardless of their failure - showing how Luke's fate cannot be changed or avoided.
now *that* is a good example of show (tv) don't tell (book)
a callback to this in season 5 would be sick as hell
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Obey Me! Crushes on Social Media
includes the dateables as well as the brothers, so i'm adding a cut because it feels pretty long. the "social media" in question is just dewitter (twitter) and devilgram (instagram) because that's the socials i know the most about using :)
i was tempted to come up with some demon version of linkedin for lucifer though LOL
does lucifer own social media? devilgram doesn’t count, he can’t anonymously post about his inner feelings there. vague tweets (deweets?) about you. so vague that he’ll show you later and you’ll be like “what the hell this sounds more like one of your brothers than me. nice hair today? are you talking about asmo?”
mammon WISHES he could relate. mammon tweets about you every five seconds that’s how bad he is over you. lives in the same house as you and couldn’t send you a single friend request on anything, OR follow you first
leviathan is JUST as bad as mammon, please do not point it out to him. has no friends but if they ever stumbled across his dewitter account they’d KNOW who it is. it’s not fair that mammon can spend so much time with you and it’s not suspicious. you looked so pretty today. and yesterday. and you will forever and ever and he knows this because it’s you.
satan takes a picture of you and writes a cute little book quote that he thinks describes you perfectly. he shows you the post, all ready to hit send- you laugh and hit the button for him. it becomes kind of a joke between you, except that he’s dead serious, scouring through books for the perfect line for his perfect person. all his followers think he’s in a relationship with you, and he’s not about to say otherwise.
asmodeus has his personal devilgram account, but he definitely has a second account dedicated to fashion. you’re forced to model more and more outfits so that he can post them. definitely puts things like “look at MY pretty model” in the captions. he already has enough problems with his brothers, he doesn’t need other demons snooping around you too.
beelzebub doesn’t mess around. he doesn’t outright tell you either though- for obvious reasons. for every post you make he’s the first like and the first comment- although it’s typically riddled with typos since he’s normally eating when you post. he doesn’t really pay attention to his own social media accounts, but he never ever fails to pay you a compliment or well wish, even when he’s in the middle of something important. if only you took it as something beyond being a good friend.
belphegor- social media who? he HAS it, technically. it’s drier than australia and there are definitely cobwebs on his page, visible or not. the last post was also his first post: "..." if he ever makes a second post, it'll be when he wakes up and can't get back to sleep. upon posting “mc.” he finds he’s already drifting off, back to the sweet embrace of dreams and rest.
barbatos tweets “going through it” and then nothing else when he has a crush on you. rts it every once in a while when the pining gets particularly bad. once he typed out “GOING THRU IT” but never sent it. tweets “got through it” when the crush leaves him (never) or you pick him.
diavolo starts a “fan-page” of you. takes at least ten pictures of you every time you’re together and says that it’s for his fan-page on devilgram. the first time you heard this you were like “weird, but definitely not the weirdest thing that’s happened to me here! you do you boo <3”. fan-page of you- for who? nobody but him.
simeon is AWFUL with technology. it truly is a miracle that he manages to use devilgram. nonetheless, he does his best, and is always taking photos and posting them, typically with the caption "i thought you might like this :) @/mc". you respond eagerly, and at least one demon tries to remind you two that this can be a conversation in dms. neither of you pay attention to this reminder, and simeon invites you to the place that he took the picture. he later posts a picture of you lightly kissing his cheek. the demons become on very high alert after that.
solomon isn't subtle. "me, myself and mine" is the caption when he posts a picture of you and him together, and he tags every single demon brother and the royals and simeon, just for good measure. you laugh it off and comment "mine :)" underneath it. solomon gets a target on his back for an entire week before you clarify it was just a joke. this cycle repeats every couple of months as he tries to get more and more flirty comments out of you- when you post a picture of you kissing him with the caption "now shut up", he does. it's almost like an act of god.
bonus: LUKE only really has devilgram. he was worried about an "age limit" and it took diavolo, simeon, and barbatos to reassure him. lucifer tried to help but it just made everything worse. you're the first comment on all of his devilgram posts. any time you're not, you're apologising profusely, and he says it's all the demon brothers' fault, and you say yes it's all the demon brothers' fault. and then you spend the entire afternoon at purgatory hall. solomon takes great joy in rubbing this in their faces.
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