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floorpancakes · 7 months

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can you post what all the results to the quiz are & what charas they have? im just curious to see the answers to what i didn't get!

ok so ill probably add to this slowly but time for some stats and answers and stuff! obviously dont check this out if you dont wanna be spoiled (thread)

first, here's the actual amounts of each results people have been getting:

when i say i had NO IDEA we'd get so many chuunis....watching the numbers go up the first few days felt like a fever dream haha

but its comforting to know that everyone is cringe and free! i for one welcome our new gothy overlords!

i was also really surprised that gimmick idols got some of the lowest scores 😭 the space that spans is so wide so i was expecting way more people to get that result since i figured it'd catch a lot of people, but i guess you guys are rare!

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now its time to look at the archetype list:

this was pretty tricky, especially cause i was working on the quiz for funsies at silly o clock in the morning for two nights while i was dealing with some sickness induced exhaustion lol. i wanted to include more (a few like the princely type nearly made the cut), but I found there was

1. a lot of crossover between archetypes (this even happened with some of the idols i chose for the results image!!! hanayo being average idoltwt user AND a harapeko type or minori being average idoltwt user AND fake it til you make it for example)

2. some archetypes that were only based on visuals or not on personality at all

3. kind of lowkey paradoxical (eg. someone might really fit the princely type, but often in idol shows they make it so that trait is pushed on them, but they secretly wanted to be feminine all along, which like, ok but then if someone actually fits the princely vibe I'd be slightly struggling for examples and we'd get all tied in knots unfortunately)

4. the amount of answers was already getting so long that if i added any more it'd start getting difficult to come up with more answers for some of the more concrete questions (like what you'd do post graduation etc)

...so I had to kind of draw the line somewhere. especially cause i thought like 3 of my idoltwt mutuals would take it and that's it 😭 maybe I'll make a part 2 or a more extensive quiz later who knows (guess who just remembered the 'rock is life' type idols and screamed into a pillow for only just remembering...)

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so the idol archetype categories themselves are DEFINITELY things I've picked up on in multiple series, altho they may require a lil bit of explaining so I'll quickly summarise each one when we go thru the characters. i should probably mention that some of these (like the chuunibyou) are word for word archetypes that people use all the time, while some were just me trying to put words to the character types so the wording was just a descriptor (fake it til you make it queen), altho i hope they were useful! ive seen a few people online using these terms after taking the quiz which is super cute...🙇 let's take a look at these categories shall we?

(note: i have varying levels of familiarity w these characters, i wanted to make it reasonably varied and recognisable but some of them i kind of just knew what category they fit and that's it)

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THE CHUUNIBYOU

to those who don't know, the chuunibyou is a pretty popular archetype beyond just idols, and tends to refer to people who are stuck in or going through their 'edgy phase'; chuu-ni being short for second year of middle school syndrome (think like, 13 or 14 year olds), but the general vibe tends to be associated with emo or goth phases, claiming to have an evil eye, being or being a servant of Satan, hiding a secret shy or self conscious side with edge, yaknow. average tween behaviour. it's not limited by age tho especially in anime media! one of the examples i used is a 26 year old grown man with a job. never too late!

Like with a lot of the other categories it was really hard to narrow down the results page characters, but from left to right:

1. Todo Yurika from Aikatsu!

Yurika takes being a lifestyle lolita to the next level, being a gothic lolita and punk idol with the chuuni character of a vicious vampire, which she desperately tries to keep up as part of her career, only letting people see her quiet nerdy self once in a blue moon. She has a secret soft spot for garlic ramen and sings some of the best songs in the entire series (which is an achievement cause aikatsus songs are god tier).

music rec (won't do this for everyone, only ones i know well, but pls feel free to fill in the blanks in the comments/reblogs!): check out Glass Doll, Onegai Venus and Eternally Flickering Flame! She has two singing voices over the series, both of which are incredible.

2. Asselin BB II (Asselin Beelzebub the Second) from The Idolm@ster SideM!

Asselin is a genius chef in his mid-twenties that ended up on the streets being kicked from countless jobs because of his ....quirks. He's a chuuni through and through, and its something a lot of the people around him didn't know how to handle, but when he gets taken in by Cafe Parade (both an idol group AND a real life dining establishment) to be their chef, he finally finds a place where he belongs. He's goofy and crazy while simultaneously being an introverted and nervous personality, and claims to be a servant of Satan, which just happens to be an adorable plushie that he carries around for comfort and finds difficult to be without, who gets painstakingly dressed up in matching outfits whenever he's included in a card! Don't be fooled by his softness though, this servant of satan has PIPES. You may recognise his voice, as he's played by well-known seiyuu Furukawa Makoto.

music rec: check out Waga Konton no Sabbath Marriage to immediately ascend, or Reversed Masquerade for a taste of the full CafePa experience.

3. Tsushima Yohane from Love Live Sunshine!!

Probably the most famous on the list so I'll keep it brief! She's been at this chuuni business since she was a little girl, so she encountered a lot of loneliness before joining Aqours, but she's got a cute and clumsy personality and has a tendency to yell about being a fallen angel. She's an absolute sweetheart, despite claiming that she's angered God himself, and is always there at the scene to deliver an edgy pose or stunning vocals.

music rec: check out Kowareyasuki and Strawberry Trapper for peak Yohane vocals, honestly Guilty Kiss in general should be mandatory listening homework

#idol quiz #idol archetype quiz #stats and info and stuff ahead!#thread

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feuillant · 2 years

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MY HEART IN YOUR HANDS

•♡•

wrote for @logic-and-philosophy on Logic and Philosophy Week 2022

•♡•

Combeferre/Enjolras

•♡•

Enjolras is ill with cholera. Combeferre would like to grab his hand and tell him that everything will be alright, but he is not allowed to.

•♡•

WARNING: mentioned blood, vomiting and illness

•♡•

"Is he still alive?" asks Combeferre, nervously clenching his fingers on the medicine bottles. He is prepared for the worst news, although as a doctor he should be used to it. In the clinic, someone was dying every day, especially recently. Combeferre has passed emaciated, dehydrated corpses so many times that he has managed to get used to it. Sometimes he reproached himself for it. Desensitisation led to indifference, and this usually turned into brutality. However, he had no choice. He wanted to help people, but he could not do so, unable to come to terms with their deaths.

He always found it hardest to watch children die. They weren't usually at fault for anything — maybe just not tying a scarf around their necks, but, Christ, that was no reason for them to die choking on their own blood! He couldn't get used to the touch of the cooling, limp bodies clinging to his apron like a mother's skirt.

But it was so much better than what he was witnessing now. Better — more soothing. At least he knew he had done as much as he could, even if it wasn't enough. And now?

Now he can't even hold his dearest friend's hand and promise him that everything will be all right.

He could only trust Feuilly, who always told the truth. Enjolras did not lie either, as long as it was not about Combeferre. That's why, a few days ago, when asked if he was all right, he replied that he was just a bit tired, vomiting blood on the book after a while. Enjolras was exactly like that. He doesn't like to being a worry.

And now he's doing it without any words, lying in bed, delirious. Combeferre would have given anything to be able to cross the threshold of the room and sit next to him, even for a moment.

But Feuilly standing in the doorway prevents him from doing so.

"His breathing is getting louder and his pulse is weaker. I fed him milk on a spoon just like you told me to. I also gave him some soup, but he threw it up," the worker summarises. When he sees the distraught look on the doctor's face, reaches out hand to shake it. However, he realises in time that this would be a big mistake. He steps back and continues. "But there are some positives. He drank a whole glass of water later. He started to whine again and wanted me to sleep."

Combeferre feels like a ball of fire is growing in his chest, warming and burning him at the same time.

"That's good," he mumbles. "He needs to rehydrate his body. What does it look like?

"Skin as thin as the leaves of a fan. It barely covers the bones. Sometimes he has seizures, but it helps when I hug him. I think it's because of the memories. A couple of times he shouted something about 1830..."

"You shouldn't do that. Cholera is contagious and-"

Feuilly shakes his head and just puts arms across chest.

"I have only him. If I die, it's nothing. I can't help anyone else", he interrupts.

Combeferre sighs helplessly and looks over the man's shoulder. In the depths of the room he sees a small, modest bed, on which he can now only see a few golden smudges in place of a familiar silhouette. Enjolras is lying under a blanket and probably dying, if he hasn't done so already in this minute. The medic tries to hold back tears at the thought of this.

He loves the leader more than anyone else. He often doesn't understand him, but he still knows him better than anyone. He has witnessed his smiles, tears, moments of elation as well as weaknesses. He is beside when he falls and rises. Always.

But not today.

Enjolras is worried. He said that Combeferre should take over as leader after his death (something in his chest squeezes), but in fact, he doesn't want him to suffer. They know it.

They are like two sides of a coin - one does not exist without the other. In fact, neither of them knows what they will do when the other is gone forever.

He doesn't want to think about it when suddenly a coughing attack is heard. He blanches.

"God," cries Feuilly and runs over to the sick man in a flash.

All Combeferre sees is him helping the blond man bend over and slap him between the shoulder blades. His fingers clench even tighter on the glass.

"It's okay, don't force yourself."

"Blood?"

"Just a little. I'll wipe your face, right?"

"Thank you," Enjolras' voice is hoarse from vomiting. "The water is running out… I'm sorry."

"It's nothing, I'll figure something out. Rinse your mouth."

Enjolras straightens up on the mattress and grabs the cup. For a moment he tries to get rid of the awful, sour taste. In the meantime, Combeferre has time to get a slightly better look at him in the semi-darkness. He certainly looks worse than last time — his face is bony and unhealthily shiny. His hands are far too skinny, like two twigs. The doctor shudders, having realised how frightening he must look up close.

"Feuilly?" he calls out quietly. Enjolras immediately turns towards him.

"Combeferre ? Go away, for God's sake!" he shouts, although more fear than anger can be heard in his voice. He coughs again. A worker standing next to him tries to force him to lie down, but the young man spurns his help.

"Enjolras, I-"

"Get out!" His words are painful, but Combeferre knows the immense despair hiding behind them. "I asked you not to come! I am ill, do you understand?"

"I can't-", he explains, taking a step.

"Don't come up! I'll die if you do, I swear!" Enjolras points a finger at him in madness. Only when the doctor retreats to the exit does he slump back against the pillow.

"Ferre, please," interjects Feuilly. "It makes him nervous."

"I understand." He swallows back tears. "Forgive me, Enjolras. I just ... I miss you.

The student doesn't reply, lying under the duvet and breathing heavily. He remains silent, so Combeferre pulls several glass bottles from his bag.

"I was out of town today, I took clean water. It's safe, he can drink it," he says to Feuilly, who walks over and takes the glass bottles from him with relief. "I've also replenished the medication. Increase the dose by half a tablespoon, morning and evening. He'll sleep more."

The worker nods as a sign that he has understood. He watches curiously as his friend pulls out another small packet.

"What's that?"

"Cookies. A gift from Mrs Combeferre for both of you." He tries to smile when Feuilly unwraps the sweets with joyful surprise.

"She's an angel, not a woman. Thank her."

"I'll tell her that, don't worry."

A shadow of a smile appears on the man's tired face as he places the presents on the coffee table. Seeing the books on the desk, Combeferre reminds something.

"I have a little gift for you."

Feuilly's eyes almost fall to the floor when he sees the title under his arm.

"Are you joking?"

"No. I got it yesterday, it was published maybe a month ago. I thought you might like to have it."

Feuilly carefully grabs the book and reads the name aloud.

"Adam Mickiewicz, 'Poezja'... My God." He slowly turns the pages until he suddenly stops. "No, it can't be."

"Hm?"

He quietly read:

Je��li mnie nad duszami równą władzę nadasz,

Ja bym mój naród jak pieśń żywą stworzył,

I większe niżli Ty zrobiłbym dziwo,

Zanuciłbym pieśń szczęśliwą!

Combeferre doesn't understand a word, but he can see the excitement on his face and that's enough for him. Everyone has a language that speaks to him. To Feuilly, the whole world speaks.

"I don't know how to thank you—"

"In French we have the word for it: 'merci'."

They laugh. Combeferre for a moment forgets what troubles him. However, each moment ends, and when they finally quiet down, the worries return. He begins:

"I'll be on my way. I... Please tell Enjolras that...'"

As if on cue, the blond man asks for Feuilly to come up. After a while, the workman returns with a second book — an old edition of Voltaire. There is an annotation in pencil on the open page:

"I love you. I didn't mean to hurt you, but it's the only way to avoid more harm."

He strokes the letters with his fingers, as if trying to get a little closer to his friend by doing so. The writing is slanted, trembling. It does not suit Enjolras. Combeferre pulls out a pencil and adds:

"I know. I beg you, come back to me. That's all I ask."

He ponders some more and finally sketches a small, anatomical heart in the corner of the page.

He puts the book back through Feuilly's hands, which returns to him a moment later with a somewhat childish and simple drawing of "♡". He smiles and puts it in his pocket.

"I hope you will soon be able to say it in a different way."

•♡•

Notes: The text in Polish is a fragment of the "Great Improvisation" from the third part of Adam Mickiewicz's "The Grandfather's Eve".

#logic and philosophy week #les miserables #enjolferre #enjolras #combeferre

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yumesthings · 2 years

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Idk if you do platonic prompts, but Fischl meeting a child/young aspiring adventurer that reminds her of herself when she was younger. Maybe her giving them the words she always yearned to hear when she was their age. For a ship prompt, maybe Fischl with a crush or s/o that plays along with her act good-naturedly, but is also very very skilled at catching her off guard and bringing out Amy as well.

oh yeah do platonic prompts!! both ideas are so good!!

maybe i'll do an agenda and publish Fischl fics with anon's ideas all the summer, like it's literaly her version in the game, Fischl in event, new Fischl skin, Fischl in the shop, Fischl everywhere!! love her so much

so yeah, keep sending what you'd like to read and 'ill organize all of this, any kind of ideas are welcomed, fluff, angst, comfort, hurt, etc

let's say it's a month and a half event for Fischl Summer Event, i'll do a post to summarise all of this later!!

something like "Midnight Phantasmagoria- Fischl Event" that can be found under #midnight phantasmagoria yume

#yumes letters #yumes update #yumes anon asks #yumes anon o(｀ω´ )o #genshin impact #genshin imapct fics #genshin x reader #fischl genshin impact #fischl angst #fischl comfort #fischl fluff #fischl hurt #midnight phantasmagoria yume

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aardvaark · 4 years

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i know everyone gets mad at judy for always checking things like whats happening in the police precinct with the crimes or talking to detectives about those cases and all. i can totally see why jen and all are having a problem with that (steve is technically another example but he can - and lowkey did - die in a hole). it does look dodgy and weird and the situation is stressful for her (”her” being jen - from now on im just gonna refer to jen bc ew steve, so yeah sorry).

i mean i dont like that jen was still being rude or speaking to her like a child except worse and more angrily. she was condescending. but i do understand, at least, the fear resulting in anger at judy.

but ive been thinking about it, and i think the reason judy has a hard time sticking out of these issues is probably because she has previously had to solve every single issue shes experienced alone, when she was young. and she had to be constantly aware - has someone noticed my mother isnt going to school events? has someone noticed that im cooking and cleaning for myself? has someone noticed im tired and stressed? because if a teacher finds out, theyre going to do something, and i dont want to upset my mother because im sure somewhere deep down she really does care and love me sometimes. i dont want to upset anyone at all.

you’d fear massive changes in your life - everything needs to stay the same, even if its not stable, theres a kind of makeshift stability in constant instability. in always having to manage a crisis. theres steps, theres a mental checklist, theres things to do. she probably thought change would still be worse than this; a total upheaval in the short-term. no guarantee of stability in the future. as things were, she had the guarantee of instability, but it was still a guarantee.

she’d have to just reason that she could cope with anything. its what i always hear about kids in neglectful or abusive situations, its a pattern i think a lot of us have experienced: “you’re so mature for your age!” / “you’re special (or smart)” / “you’re so grown up!” / “you’re so responsible!” / “you’re sorry kind and sympathetic to your peers!”. this isnt meant to hurt, it doesnt necessarily hurt, its often from other adults who have no idea whats happening. but the behavior theyre seeing is more along the lines of: quiet, constantly alert, anxious, sad, upset, fearful.

[imo, theres a harmful misconception that quiet/stressed/rarely happy = growing up, becoming more mature. i do think its kind of awful that you’re not meant to have that child-like fascination and excitement with the world when you get older, but its true that just does often go away a little with time, completely naturally. but it can also be harmful to make that A Thing, because childhood depression and anxiety or experiencing potentially traumatic or otherwise stressful and upsetting situations can also lead to showing similar signs - just faster, earlier. and these can be misread as just being very mature for your age. but thats a separate issue i have with the world, lol.]

anyway, so shes found the only option is to hide the problems and present as totally fine. make excuses. lie. keep secrets. these behaviours have stuck with her, too. and so would the feeling that there is constant danger. she must know what the exact extent of the danger is at all times because she must monitor everything. she needs to be on the lookout for threats, because there are always threats. she has to check, be responsible, no one is going to help her, theres an order to the disorder, theres a way to manage the chaos and only she knows how because this is just another crisis. her average state, a day-in-the-life of judy hale.

shes always had to do that, in the context of her growing up. but although its the same feeling of stress, its a different context now, and that behaviour is a lot more suspicious in this situation. especially now, because shes an adult. and now shes not alone in the stressful environment, other people (eg jen w/the murder) want and need a say in how problems are being sorted out. and jen is kinda right, you know, you cant go around checking in with the police, it looks pretty odd. judys form of crisis management isnt applicable here, but judy doesnt really think about that, shes thinking about how best to keep herself safe. and thats how she thinks she is going to be safe, because thats what has worked. in fact, she was doing it because she wants jen to be safe, too.

shes doing the best she can with what she has, but her childhood was terrible and she never had the opportunity to form normal, more effective, adult-life socially applicable crisis management skills. all she did get was what she had to do as a child, to protect herself in a horribly twisted way, because she was a child who did not get to grow up in the way everyone else did. she missed out on a lot of things that you gain when youre not under extreme pressure just to survive and hide major problems while also having to live with those major problems. she didnt get to learn how to find more subtle ways of getting information, or when it was better to just not interact at all.

what she learnt let her live back then, it prevented her world from unravelling. how can she be expected to let go of those makeshift survival skills? how can she be expected to go against the instincts that have clearly saved her before? how can she be expected to confront her slowly growing understanding that her life should never have been like that, that she was robbed of her childhood, that she has had a horrible thing happen to her, that countless horrible things have happened to her, how can she be expected to accept that she deserved better than she has ever gotten? how can she be expected to allow herself all these feelings and fears she has been pushing down her entire life?

admitting/realising that she doesnt know what to do, that she isnt safe and cant control the situation by herself, means admitting far too much: it means admitting that she was never meant to be capable of coping by herself, that she actually couldnt cope with literally everything life threw her way no matter what - shes not okay, she didnt have some supernatural ability to somehow deal with everything, and she wasnt supposed to. that her mother knowingly put her in an unsafe situation, and she was not meant to just learn how to cope.

i dont think jen does or really truly can currently realise that, but i hope she starts to see that if she learns more about judy’s mom and all... she definitely didnt get that judy was stressed and actually doing what she thought was great, and also that what she has been doing isnt out of naivety or something, but kind of the opposite - more like she knows too much, has been too exposed, and now shes just applying those things here but it doesnt work here.

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earthstellar · 3 years

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Transformers G1: “The God Gambit”, When Bots Influence The Cultural Development of Other Civilisations

This is one of the G1 episodes where I wish we’d see the concept re-visited in a modern series at some point.

Keep in mind this was the 80s, so the idea of a “primitive humanoid culture” isn’t handled with any particular degree of cultural sensitivity as it relates to real world references here and there, but it’s an extremely interesting idea.

The Episode Plot, Summarised Below:

Cosmos, Starscream, Astrotrain, and Trust end up on Titan, Saturn’s moon, and find a developing humanoid civilisation.

It is a Theocracy, ruled by an astrologer Priest named Jero.

Now, things get interesting when we see a figure of the Sky God they worship:

Jazz and Perceptor eventually arrive to prevent the Decepticons from taking advantage of the local population, and the episode closes out with a victory for the Autobots as the humanoids on Titan thank them for their intervention.

Why This Concept is Interesting:

We see a character, Talaria, is rebelling against the Theocracy. She sees that Jero is corrupt, and is using the influence of religious cultural control to manipulate their society and citizenry for ill purposes.

The religion is in place before the bots arrive, which implies earlier contact with Cybertronians, or at the very least some other mechanoid lifeforms, at some point in the past.

There is so much potential in the idea of Cybertronians travelling the universe, unintentionally or otherwise impacting the spiritual/cultural development of other lifeforms around the galaxy.

In Legends, the Sky God is Metrotitan:

According to the Metroplex Legends comic, Metrotitan was in stasis under the surface of Titan; When he awoke, he rose from the surface, and the people of Titan believed him to be a Sky God.

The below panel is from here, but is a good visual representation for the above as well:

Revisiting the Sky God Concept: Aligned Continuity Lore; Unicron at the Core of the Earth + How it Relates to Real World Science and Culture

I think this idea could be done again, as it’s fascinating to think about.

I wrote about the Aligned Continuity timescale here, comparing Cybertron to Earth.

It would have been cool to see this as a TFP episode, given that it’s established in that continuity that Earth itself is made of space debris accumulated over centuries around the slumbering energy form of Unicron.

Surely, that would have some kind of impact on humanity?

We see that when Unicron is disturbed, he causes natural disasters and weather pattern changes on Earth’s surface and atmosphere.

Paleotempestology is a real-world science, based on using the remaining physical evidence of past storms to determine geological and meteorological information.

In Mexico, there is evidence that suggests severe climate events may have impacted the development/collapse of certain early Mesoamerican civilisations.

We know that Unicron doesn’t like humans; He doesn’t see us as his children, as unique organic lifeforms that only exist due to the conditions created by the environment provided by his slumbering form.

He sees us as an infestation, similar to fleas on a dog.

It would make sense that Unicron, as civilisations developed on Earth and humanity became more prevalent and widespread across the planet, would then attempt to shake us off, so to speak.

There are real world cave paintings that feature terrain and suggest weather conditions; Below is an example, with brown used to depict earthen or natural features like ground and mountains, and dashes of brown at the top are used to depict clouds in the sky in a kind of negative space effect:

It’s reasonable to think that early human civilisations may have experienced Unicron’s weather control based wrath, possibly repeatedly, before Unicron decided to spare his remaining energy for more calculated plans later on.

They also visit a museum in TFP, and it would have been cool to maybe see reference to a Sky God type figure in a glass display case, or a statue in the background, to hint at what may be Cybertronian influence on ancient humanity.

Even if the influence wasn’t Unicron related, which would make the most sense if using real world comparisons to add legitimacy to the concept, we know that Cybertron and Cybertronians are far older than humanity and Earth.

It’s an idea that has a lot of potential, if any future Transformers series ever revisits it.

#transformers: prime #transformers prime #tfp #g1 #transformers g1 #transformers lore #unicron #metrotitan #maccadam #transformers #aligned continuity #long post

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jadelotusflower · 3 years

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Robin Hood Rewatch: 1x13 A Clue: No

“Previously on” recaps can be annoying, but there is an art to it and I love a good one. This is a very, very good one, summarising the last episode with ramping tension as the music builds, then cuts to a different take of the last scene as the theme song starts, and we’re into the opening credits.

This is a long one, so it’s going under the cut:

Guy estimates that the “inner circle” of Robin’s gang is “a dozen at the most” and I find it very funny that neither he nor Vaisey have twigged that it’s always the same five people around him. What’s more annoying than funny is that they don’t know how many are in the “outer circle” because that really should have been A Thing in the show (Forrest and Hanton should have come back to guest star! I will never let this go!) After all, we see Little John with more men in the first episode, there are other outlaws in the forest/across the shire that are either working with Robin, or pose a risk to them, and I wish this had been explored.

Djaq manhandling and holding her sword to Pitts’s throat - I love Djaq.

The first arrow Robin shoots is intended for Vaisey, but one of the guards inconveniently walks in front and gets it in the chest. The second arrow is intended for Vaisey as well but he ducks (”my tooth!”) so we can’t fault the writing for a credible attempt at Why Doesn’t Robin Just Kill The Sheriff, because in this scene at least, he tries.

Bye Pitts. You certainly were.

I actually really love this scene (which probably seemed odd given the high body count), but Robin drawing his sword and charging, with Much, Djaq, and John backing him up to avenge Marian’s apparent death/make a final stand, as the music shifts from the jaunty Rescue Theme to Marian’s Theme, just gets me every time.

Although thanks to the cast commentary, I can’t unsee Djaq flipping that guy over her head twice, but hey, it’s a badass move. Clearly they didn’t shoot enough coverage of this fight, because we get the same action from several different angles.

Other than the flashback in episode 8, I think this is the only time we see Robin in Crusader mode, and just how lethal he (and the gang) can be when unleashed and with nothing to lose. Even when the enemy retreats Robin remains kind of wild-eyed with rage unsated, and it takes a beat for him to snap out of it. It’s symbolism time - he sticks his sword in the ground and leaves it there, and we don’t see it again this episode (or much in season 2).

There’s some nice acting going on from everyone in this scene - just utter exhaustion, Allan and Will oblivious to why the rest are so distraught, Much taking it upon himself to tell them but can’t say the words, and Robin with the finality of “she’s dead.” Their faces!

Djaq is still holding two swords as she enters the cave, which is a nice character beat - no doubt the fight also brought back unpleasant memories/triggers for her, and she remains on edge, for the moment unwilling to give up her defences even when the threat is gone.

I really love this scene too (the gang mourning Marian) and I think it’s quite deftly written - Djaq’s immediate reaction being the importance of a quick burial (as per Islamic tradition), Robin trying to keep it together, attempting to ask John/Will to build a coffin but unable to, so deflecting to ask Djaq to prepare Marian’s body, before trying twice again; John soothing him and taking charge. Will’s single tear and speaking of Marian’s goodness. Much responding with “Good? Oh, she was... She was...” looking to Robin because of course his thoughts are for Robin’s grief before his own, and also that his own relationship with Marian was complex. Allan: “She was alright...yeah” that says so much, and of course John’s “Her, we liked.” Again, some fine acting, kudos everyone.

“I loved her and I never told her” is ironic because Robin still won’t tell her until halfway through the next season, and if he had in the aftermath of her apparent death he could have spared himself a lot of the angst of the rest of the episode. But of course he doesn’t tell her, doesn’t learn from this moment, because emotions are hard, and sometimes we make the same mistakes over and over again.

I really love that it’s Allan that notices that Marian is alive, and his little “told ya” flourish.

Score note: while Marian is “dead” her Theme is strings, when she opens her eyes, it’s back to the guitar.

Guy’s guilt in finding out his impending marriage to Marian is based on false pretenses - would he still have forced the marriage if he’d known that from the start?

Djaq still has her two swords as they take Marian back to Knighton.

Guy, if your first instinct when told Marian is not at home is that she’s run away rather than marry you...maybe take a hint? “She cannot run from me” is a big yikes, and this confuses me as to Guy’s motivation in this scene. Did he intend to tell Marian the truth, but then convince himself otherwise (because “the excitement of the wedding” =/= “the wedding excites her”), but then why so angry when he thinks shes run? The difference between getting someone go/being left, I suppose.

Illness is a perfectly plausible explanation for delaying the wedding that no one seems to think of.

Edward is actually pretty bang on in this scene with Robin from a father’s perspective, telling him to let Marian go if he cannot stop it, and do the right thing. On the other hand...

“I am sick of doing the right thing” is why Robin is such a compelling character for me - because it is hard to always be good, to be held to that higher standard, and make the unselfish choice. I enjoy narratives that explore that, and this show is surprisingly unflinching about it, exemplified by:

The next scene, which is one of the most emotionally brutal/hard to watch of the entire show, in which Robin lashes out and does everything to drive Much away, including calling him “a pox” and a “small man” until Much’s heart visibly breaks.

Now I don’t want to excuse Robin here, because he is objectively awful to someone who doesn’t deserve it, who is trying to give him support but also telling him some much needed hard truths (even if it is slightly self-serving, which is what what seems to set Robin off). But at the end of the day, if he loves Marian he needs to accept that it is her choice to marry Guy, to “do the right thing” to (she thinks) protect her father - and later of he does just that. For now Edward and Much are both right, it is more important for him to try and protect the king from Vaisey, because if he is ousted and Richard back on the throne so many lives would be improved, including the people of Locksley. But Robin has been pushed to breaking point all season, and has now snapped and can’t see reason, but is stuck in his own grief/rage.

But unlike previously, when Robin said regrettable things in the heat of the moment and then immediately took them back, this is a calculated attack designed to hurt Much the most, because he loves Robin so much that it takes A Lot to push him away. It’s a bold move to make your hero so unlikable in such a moment, because Robin really is unforgivably cruel here, and trust the audience to understand why. I mean, I don’t want to bang on about the PTSD, but it’s (partly) the PTSD, based on a triggering, precipitating event causing a self-destructive spiral. Robin needs some Ye Olde Therapy.

For all the talk about Robin getting his title and lands back, nothing is said about what happens to Gisborne once he does, other than that they can’t prove he was the one who tried to assassinate Richard. Because really, Richard probably would believe Robin even though the tattoo was burned away, and Guy’s certainly committed other crimes that could be testified to just like they’re intending for Vaisey - and let’s be real, it’s not like a king needs evidence to order someone’s death (hello, season 2 finale). Boom - Guy executed, marriage to Marian annulled, problem solved!

So, the scene between Marian and Guy, in which Marian is more concerned with whether or not Guy tried to kill the king than the fact that he stabbed her. But its understandable, because Marian thinks there’s no way out that doesn’t risk her father’s life, and it’s easier to convince herself that maybe Guy didn’t do it to make the best of things. I think she does have some kind of feelings for him, or is at least moved by his feelings for her, and believes if nothing else she can influence him/continue working from the inside; giving up the mantle of the Nightwatchman but doing the same work (in a different way) as Lady Gisborne.

And then it’s Robin/Marian angst, round 3, and it’s a far cry from their interaction in the cave milliseconds away from “I love yous” - in both tone and body language they’re back in defensive positions talking past one another. The tension, it be thick.

Marian is making her best rationalisation with “deprived of love” and Robin not at all buying the Woobification 101. Once she tells him her decision to marry Guy, he accepts it, but it’s Marian’s reaction that’s telling, she’s surprised that he doesn’t argue, deep down she wants him to fight for her, to say that the real reason she shouldn’t marry Guy is because he loves her. It’s quite a contrast from the previous scene where Guy was very open about how he feels about her, while Robin deflects, but while she was conflicted about Guy trying to kiss her, she’s frustrated, disappointed, and angry when Robin leaves.

But really, this is rather unfair of Marian, because Robin did already declare himself in the cave (”we should be together”) without her reciprocation, so expecting him to take the first step again without any encouragement is a bit much.

Would a depressed person sit slumped against a tree all night?

“But by taking Marian in holy wedlock, I will wash away those crimes. Her pure heart will cleanse mine.” Yeah...not going to touch that one. I appreciate that there’s a lot going on with Guy and many, many people find it compelling, but I’m afraid it’s not really a narrative that interests me.

Speaking of pure hearts: Much. Faced with the same choice he was counseling Robin on, but with the additional wrinkle of knowing the king’s an imposter, he still decides to stop the wedding. “Her heart belongs to another” is A Moment and I don’t know exactly why but I find his very soft pleas following this and calling her “my lady” very affecting.

She’s beauty and she’s grace, she punched Guy in the face.

“A trap. I knew it.” I haaaaate this line. NO YOU DIDN’T KNOW IT ROBIN YOU KNEW NOTHING OF THE KIND IF YOU HAD KNOWN YOU WOULD BE EVEN MORE OF A DICK FOR LEAVING UGGGHHHH.

“We can’t be seen together” Right in front of my salad two guards on front gate duty, who get front row tickets to the kiss. Look at them! They’re right there! This show drives me absolutely bonkers sometimes.

I do love this dress though.

“An audience with the king has been suspended!” Going out on one last pun.

Regardless, I really love this episode. Despite the lack of fallout from the emotional wringer they all went through, I can’t help but smile when the gang does their silly little jump for joy at the end.

#robin hood bbc #robin hood rewatch #1x13 a clue: no #long post

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tsarisfanfiction · 3 years

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I am entirely too asleep to name or summarise or anything this thing, but it’s short and fluffy (hey, might even count as fluffy enough for you, @willow-salix although there’s no John?) and @gumnut-logic prodded me into writing and posting it, so here it is. Warning: I am more asleep than awake so I cannot promise much sense here. But I can promise sleepy fluff.

The first thing he was aware of was the vague sensation of fingers running through his hair gently. No doubt his gel had completely lost the battle to keep it in place, although the strands that tickled his forehead felt unusually soft and product-free. Had he not put any gel in that morning?

There was a weight across his collar bones, too. Light but present, reaching from shoulder to shoulder. It wasn’t at all restraining, and he felt that if he wanted he could move it without any effort, but that required sitting up, and wherever Scott was, he was comfortable. There was material under his head; it had some give but not like a pillow would. Warmer than a pillow, too.

The fingers were still threading repetitively through his hair, that soft weight across his shoulders was probably an arm, and that meant… his head was in someone’s lap?

He definitely had not fallen asleep like that.

His eyelids were heavy with sleep and the annoying cold that had decided to drain all of his energy – that was why his hair was missing its gel; he’d been too tired to bother – but he forced them to peel open a crack to see whose lap he was apparently using as a pillow.

A blur of yellow took a blink or two to focus as blond hair, and there was no mistaking the dark amber eyes of his second youngest brother even with a sleep-and-cold-addled brain. They were looking down at him, and softened when Gordon noticed he was awake.

“Hey, bro,” the aquanaut said quietly, fingers still moving through his hair.

“Gordon?” he asked, internally cringing when his voice came out barely louder than a whisper. “What-?”

His earlier assessment about the weight across his collarbones being easy to shift if he tried was proven wrong as he tried to push himself upright, only for the previously-lax arm to tense and pin him down. Normally, it would be simple enough to escape. Normally, he wasn’t weakened by a cold.

“You fell asleep during the movie,” his brother told him. Right, he’d dragged himself out of bed and into the den only for the squid to persuade him to watch a movie instead of doing any work. “It’s only been half an hour.”

Sure enough, if he concentrated, he could hear the tv murmuring away in the background.

He tried to push himself up again, but Gordon’s arms were strong and Scott was frustratingly weak. The fingers in his hair never broke their rhythm as he was pinned in place.

“Am I that uncomfortable?” Gordon asked, humour lacing through his voice. “It’s fine, Scott. You’re exhausted; go back to sleep.”

“But-” The paperwork. Hell, even the movie. It wasn’t often he got to sit with just Gordon without another brother also around. Where were the rest of them?

“Sleep, Scotty,” Gordon repeated, softer. Gentle and soothing, like the fingers in his hair. “You need it.”

Scott wanted to rebel against the instruction, but the blasted cold had him weak and weary, and Gordon made a surprisingly comfortable pillow. His eyelids felt like lead, and against his will they were sliding shut again.

The last thing he noticed were those fingers, never ceasing their movement, before sleep pulled him back under.

*****

Gordon sighed as he looked down at his eldest brother. He’d been pretty unsurprised when there had been a gradual weight on his shoulder, which a glance had confirmed to be his brother’s head, having expected Scott to conk out during the movie. Slightly more surprising had been the lack of reaction when he’d shifted him from his shoulder to lie down properly, proving just how exhausted his big brother was. Scott normally woke up at the slightest movement.

And now, after a groggy awakening where Gordon was certain he’d still been mostly asleep, he was settled comfortably, face pale from the cold that was gnawing incessantly at him. They’d run scans to confirm it wasn’t anything contagious he’d picked up on a rescue when he’d first flaked out at the desk – it wasn’t, just Scott’s body protesting from being overworked and shutting down on him in exhaustion – and when he’d come up clear, taken turns at trying to get him to rest.

Gordon was admittedly feeling a little smug that he’d managed to get Scott back to sleep with minimal complaints. Even when ill, the Tracy stubbornness ran strongly through the eldest brother, but it seemed that this time that stubbornness had met its match. Scott’s face was paler than normal – not white, but missing the healthy colour nonetheless – but relaxed in sleep.

It was a shame he was only relaxing because he was too ill to do anything else, no matter what hare-brained thoughts he’d had about trying to get work done in his current state before Gordon had coaxed him into watching a movie instead.

Scott hadn’t even gelled his hair that morning, for goodness’ sake. If he wasn’t even up to that – or getting dressed, because Gordon was well aware he was still in his pyjamas underneath the hoodie – then he definitely wasn’t up to paperwork or anything else that required mental power.

Stupid big brother. Gordon had missed most of the movie in favour of watching him sleep in exasperated fondness. He wasn’t even sure when he’d started running his fingers through gel-free hair. Just something to do with his hand, because he wasn’t great at staying still, but Scott hadn’t commented on it or tried to get him to stop, so he kept going.

Maybe that was the secret to getting him to relax? Hell knew Scott’s hair was usually guarded by hair gel and a warning glare if anyone dared try to mess with it. Gordon filed that theory away for later experimentation.

For now, he was content to stay where he was, his lap providing a pillow for his big brother – even if it meant he wasn’t going to be able to go anywhere for a few hours.

If it meant Scott was getting some much-needed sleep, Gordon was more than willing to stay put.

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds are go fanfiction #tsari writes fanfiction #scott tracy #gordon tracy #thunderfluff

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xhxhxhx · 4 years

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I Know, I Know, I Know

In Slaughterhouse-Five (1969), Kurt Vonnegut quotes David Irving for the death toll from the firebombing of Dresden: 135,000 dead. Irving happens to be a Holocaust denier. And that number happens to be a lie.

Towards the end of the book, Vonnegut quotes Irving by name:

One of the books that Lily had brought Rumfoord was The Destruction of Dresden, by an Englishman named David Irving. It was an American edition, published by Holt, Rinehart and Winston in 1964. What Rumfoord wanted from it were portions of the forewords by his friends Ira C. Eaker, Lieutenant General, U.S.A.F., retired, and British Air Marshal Sir Robert Saundby, K.C.B., K.B.E., M.C., D.F.C., A.F.C.

I find it difficult to understand Englishmen or Americans who weep about enemy civilians who were killed but who have not shed a tear for our gallant crews lost in combat with a cruel enemy, wrote his friend General Eaker in part. I think if would have been well for Mr. Irving to have remembered, when he was drawing the frightful picture of the civilians killed at Dresden, that V-1’s and V-2’s were at the very time falling on England, killing civilian men, women, and children indiscriminately, as they were designed and launched to do. It might be well to remember Buchenwald and Coventry, too.

Eaker’s foreword ended this way:

I deeply regret that British and U.S. bombers killed 135,000 people in the attack on Dresden, but I remember who started the last war and I regret even more the loss of more than 5,000,000 Allied lives in the necessary effort to completely defeat and utterly destroy nazism.

So it goes.

The figure is significant. It is more than Hiroshima, where 70,000 to 80,000 died in the initial bombing. “Not many Americans knew how much worse it had been than Hiroshima, for instance,” Vonnegut writes early in Slaughterhouse-Five. “I didn’t know that either.” Not until he read Irving. presumably.

That figure was significant to the press coverage, like the New York Times review of March 31, 1969:

Kurt Vonnegut Jr., an indescribable writer whose seven previous books are like nothing else on earth, was accorded the dubious pleasure of witnessing a 20th-century apocalypse. During World War II, at the age of 23, he was captured by the Germans and imprisoned beneath the city of Dresden, "the Florence of the Elbe." He was there on Feb. 13, 1945, when the Allies firebombed Dresden in a massive air attack that killed 130,000 people and destroyed a landmark of no military significance.

Or the Sunday review of April 6, 1969:

Kurt Vonnegut speaks with the voice of the “silent generation,” and his quiet words explain the quiescence of his contemporaries. This is especially true of his sixth novel, “Slaughterhouse-Five,” in which he looks back -- or tries to look back -- at his wartime experience. In the first chapter he tells us how for over 20 years he has been trying to re-create a single event, the bombing of Dresden by American and British pilots. Vonnegut had an unusual perspective on that event. Safe, as a prisoner of war in a deep cellar under the stockyards, he emerged to find 135,000 German civilians smoldering around him. Dresden had been an open city. We closed it. We.

They led with the figure. It was important. This was the above the headline in the Sunday review: “Like Lot’s wife, he looked back -- at the destruction of Dresden and 135,000 dead.”

As Richard Evans discovered in the 1990s, Irving more or less fabricated that figure. As he recounted in Lying About Hitler (2001):

How many people did Irving think had been killed in the raids, and on what evidence did he base his estimates? The first source he used was information supplied to him by Hans Voigt, who had been a local official in Dresden at the time of the raids. Four days after the attack, missing persons search bureau was set up in the Saxon Ministry of the Interior. Voigt, at the time an assistant school master. was put in charge of establishing a dead persons department for the bureau to collect the records and personal effects of those people already dead, and of those still buried in the ruins. Irving said that it was this department which was “responsible for the identification of the victims and for arriving at some final estimate of the death-roll.”

Voigt’s office had four different filing systems for different data. The first were garment cards, onto which samples of garments taken from unidentified bodies were pasted, together with date, location, and so on. Voigt told Irving that up to the time of the capitulation “we had almost twelve thousand of these cards completed.” The second list was of miscellaneous personal belongings of the unidentified. The third was an alphabetical list of bodies identified by personal papers. The fourth was a list of wedding rings recovered from bodies. With these four indices the dead persons department was “able to clear up the identity of some 40,000 of the dead.” Thus Irving arrived at an “absolute minimum” death toll of 40,000. This in turn tallied with the figure of 39,773 given by Georg Feydt, the first person to write a reasonably considered account of the attack in 1953.

However, Irving did not accept 40,000 as the actual figure because Voigt had told Irving that he himself “estimated that the final number would have been 135,000.” In 1963 Irving was reported to have explained: “The Germans simply struck off the first digit to make the figure more acceptable to the Russians, who contended that Bomber Command was not a powerful weapon.”” In other words, he apparently thought that the Russians wanted to reassure the citizens of the Eastern bloc that Western bombing was not very dangerous. There was no evidence for this supposition. Voigt wrote to Irving as early as September 1962, blaming the amendment on “Dresden officials” (especially the then mayor Walter Weidauer), who “reduced the figure out of fear of the ‘Big Four,’ so as not to speak ill of them.” This did not seem to me to be particularly strong motive. The Russians were not involved in the bombing of Dresden. At the height of the Cold War, they would have had every incentive for inflating the figure, so as to put the Western Allies in a bad light. Yet Irving repeated the claim in 1995.

There was no corroborative evidence of any kind about the missing digit. Moreover Voigt was apparently not a popular man with the communist authorities in Dresden. Weidauer decried him as a “virulent fascist” who had been rightfully thrown out of East Germany. This was typical of the language the Communists used for people who proved a nuisance to them. Still, Voigt, then living in West Germany, may have had a political motive in accusing the Soviet and East German authorities of falsifying the statistics. Weidauer added that the death register was still extant in the Dresden Town Hall with a highest card number of 31,102 for an unidentified body. In addition there were the so-called street books. The numbers in the street books, which were compiled according to the streets and houses where the dead were found, exactly matched those on the registration cards. Irving could only sustain the figure of 135,000, therefore, by relying on a postwar speculation which he must have known was shaky and was discounted by most other writers on the raid, with good reason. This did not say much for his claim that he based his work on careful research into contemporary documentation.

In later editions, Irving further falsified his numbers, and claimed higher death tolls, but the 135,000 always depended on that invention. He put a "1″ in front of “35,000″ and claimed that as the figure.

The probable death toll was lower than that 35,000, maybe 25,000 to 30,000. That came out in the judgment at Irving’s libel trial, David Irving v Penguin Books and Deborah Lipstadt, [2000] EWHC QB 115:

13.124 When asked what was the supporting evidence for these inflated claims, Irving relied on the estimates for the number of casualties made by Mehnert and Fetscher and on the recollection of Frau Grosse, which I have mentioned. He also testified that his claims had been based on estimates as high as 250,000 which he had received from a great many individuals. Irving neither identified the individuals nor disclosed the letters. He prayed in aid also the fact that there were in Dresden at the time an unquantified number of refugees fleeing before the advancing Russian army. Finally he relied on the estimate of Hans Voigt, summarised in paragraph 11.52 above, that 135,000 had been killed. But, as stated in paragraph 13.126 below, none of this material casts significant doubt on the accumulation of evidence that the true death toll was within the bracket of 25-30,000.

[...]

13.126 It appears to me that the evidence which I have summarised in paragraph 13.124 affords a very slender basis for the claims which Irving has made for the numbers killed in the raids. The evidence of Mehnert, Fetscher and Frau Grosse was secondhand and unverified. In the absence of any indication on what they were based, I do not consider the Irving should have given any credence to estimates in letters from unidentified individuals. His speculation about the number of refugees does little to cast doubt on the reliability of the figures quoted in the official reports. Voigt's evidence was uncorroborated and unlikely to be correct in the light of the number of deaths recorded on the official cards. In my view, Irving should not have quoted numbers based on this evidence. ... In my judgment the estimates of 100,000 and more deaths which Irving continued to put about in the 1990s lacked any evidential basis and were such as no responsible historian would have made.

For Irving, Dresden was a useful tool. If there were 135,000 or 250,000 dead at Dresden, it helped even the scales with the Allies. It was the mirror image of his Holocaust denial: German crimes were overstated and Allied crimes were understated.

Irving wanted his readers to see the bombing of Germany as the moral equivalent of the Holocaust. Evans again:

Irving wrote to Kimber in 1963 declaring his view that the crime of World War II had not been genocide but "innocentocide," the killing of civilians, and that therefore the Eastern and Western powers were just as guilty in his eyes as the Germans and the Japanese. For him Dresden was a crime. Nowhere in the earlier editions was there an explicit effort to draw the parallel. Instead, Irving allowed others to draw this obvious conclusion and then somewhat disingenuously congratulated them on their independence of mind. Thus he wrote to Sydney Silverman MP, who had reviewed the book in Tribune: "I am not someone who holds political views similar to your own, but I really must congratulate you— in spite of this—for having stuck your neck out so firmly and unmistakably by drawing a parallel between the Nazis' atrocities and what happened in Dresden; this is something I myself did not claim in my book.”

Three decades later, Irving was making the parallel explicit. In a speech delivered in Toronto on 8 November 1992, he estimated the numbers who died in Auschwitz (“most of them from epidemics,” he said) as 100,000. “Around one hundred thousand dead in that brutal slave labour camp.” Around 25,000 of these had been killed by shooting or hanging, according to German radio reports from Auschwitz received and decrypted by the British, he added. He continued:

Twenty-five thousand killed, if we take this grossly inflated figure to be on the safe side: That is a crime; there is no doubt. Killing twenty-five thousand in four years—1941, 1942, 1943, and 1944—that is a crime; there is no doubt. Let me show you a picture of twenty-five thousand people being killed in twenty-five minutes. Here it is, in my book, a vivid picture of twenty-five thousand people being killed in twenty-five minutes by the British (in February 1945) in Pforzheim, a little town where they make jewellery and watches in Baden, Germany. Twenty-five thousand people were being burned alive. ... That is what it looks like when twenty-five thousand civilians are being burned alive in twenty-five minutes. One person in four, in twenty-five minutes. One person in four in that town. As I said when I was speaking in Kitchener yesterday, it is as though somebody came to Kitchener, a town of about a hundred thousand people, and killed one person in four in twenty-five minutes. That too is a crime. Twenty-five minutes! In Auschwitz it was a crime committed over four years. You don't get it spelled out to you like that. Except by us, their opponents. When you put things into perspective like that, of course, it diminishes their Holocaust—that word with a capital letter.

Irvings almost incantatory repetition of the figures "twenty-five thousand" and "twenty-five minutes," mentioned in this passage respectively four times and five times, compared with his figure of twenty-five thousand for Auschwitz mentioned only twice, left no room for doubt about which crime he considered the greater.

That was what Dresden meant to Vonnegut, too:

I happened to tell a University of Chicago professor at a cocktail party about the raid as I had seen it, about the book I would write. He was a member of a thing called The Committee on Social Thought. And he told me about the concentration camps, and about how the Germans had made soap and candles out of the fat of dead Jews and so on. All I could say was, “I know, I know. I know.”

Vonnegut never amended Slaughterhouse-Five. So it goes.

#effortpost

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eusage · 4 years

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⟨ LEE TAEMIN. CIS MALE. HE/HIM. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, SAGE HWANG is actually a descendent of H E C A T E. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-SEVEN year old MIST MANIPULATION MAJOR from NEW YORK, USA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite EMPATHETIC & ERRATIC.

hi everyone!! my name is xun and i am so excited to be here! c: i present to you the emotional hurricane that is sage hwang! he is a son of hecate and i cannot wait to get this all started!

i actually have a profile page over here: x, a look into the history of sage over here x and you can read all about his personality and powers on the acceptance post over here x!

sage hwang was born in brooklyn, nyc and has lived there up until deciding to join eonia.

he has always lived alone with his stoner dad and mostly had to take care of himself. his childhood isn’t all bad, though. he’s got a lot of good memories with his father, and it wasn’t until sage was almost of age that the drug addiction really took a turn for the worst.

the addiction quickly got out of hand, and after his father refused to accept help and always being completely drugged out, sage eventually left him by himself.

he did put a protection spell on his father, though, and still secretly peeked into his life from time to time.

17-year-old sage barely had any money at the time and decided to take shelter in an abandoned building. he kept himself warm during the cold nights with his pyrokinesis powers and protected the building with various concealment spells. he lived alone like that for a while, but eventually found other demigods to keep him company.

he’s provided a safe shelter to various lone demigods he’s come across. while he provided them with safety and the warmth of a fire, he’d ask them to use their own powers to survive in any way they could as well. that way, they’d be able to live comfortably and help each other out. (plus he absolutely SUCKS at physical combat, so anyone with superhuman strength would a++)

he’s very empathetic and forgiving, so even to the (often) jaded demigods that would show up with bad attitudes, he tried his best to help them in any way he could. sometimes, to the point where it became ridiculous. the only thing he would throw a demigod out for was if they continuously endangered the safety of the others.

sage is very kind, but also highly emotional. kind of like a ticking time bomb. he can get very upset/angry whenever people close to him put himself in danger. it doesn’t help that he always feels like there is more that he can do to be better. hence why he eventually decided to attend eonia. he wants to ensure he really is doing the most he can to protect those around him, without feeling tense 24/7.

but he does pray to hecate every single day to make sure the people he left behind in new york are okay.

his powers work best at night so he usually naps a lot throughout the day and is awake all night to practice his skills.

okay so summarising all of that was kinda shitty BUT i do have some plot requests + thread ideas here ( i purposely made them very vague so we can discuss and adjust them more in private c: )

POSITIVE

BEST FRIENDS (0/2) (requirements: age 24+). sage is the type of person to always take care of anyone and everyone if he can, but you are one of the very few people that actually allow him to relax for a moment. might have met before in new york, or maybe you got close very fast during your time at eonia.

NEW YORK DEMIGODS (0/?) back in new york, you stayed with sage and his group of demigods for a while. might have taught each other a thing or two as well, perhaps have had to save each other, etc etc.

COFFEE PRINCE(SS) (0/1) the one person who truly understands what a night owl like sage needs to get through the day: coffee. it started with you randomly bringing him a cup while he was falling asleep again, but ended in a beautiful friendship.

RAY OF SUNSHINE (0/1) (preferably apollo’s children, i guess, but any muse who loves to make music is fine!) sage absolutely loves to dance and release his stress, you love making music: perfect combination. he always comes your way just to clear his head for a moment.

NEUTRAL

EX-LOVERS (0/2) (requirements: age 24+, gender not important.) you dated for a while (before eonia or during your time at eonia), but things didn’t work out the way you wanted to and so you broke it off. whether or not they are on good terms now is up for discussion, but in all likeliness sage DOES try to avoid you because of the emotional burden he does not want to carry. (sage has a tendency to walk off during fights as well, so that could also be part of the reason for the break up)

NEGATIVE

ENEMIES (0/?) while sage is not the type of person to straight up fight people, he still rubs people the wrong way sometimes. he might have been too sensitive in response to something your muse said or did. or maybe there was an incident while he was trying to practice his pyrokinesis skills and you’ve never really forgiven him for it.

ONE SIDED CRUSH (0/1) (requirements age 24+) for a while, sage has had a huge crush on you and actually seemed to be under the impression that his feelings were reciprocated. but, alas, they weren’t, and him being the absolute emotional wrecking ball that he is, took full offense to it. he now tries his best to avoid you. friends? you thought.

threads ideas:

heard you like to experiment with herbal cigarettes, can i join you please?

your dad is a tattoo artist, right? are you skilled too?? can you draw a tattoo on me too?? (bonus points for being drunk/high and regretting it later)

we are teamed up for our combat tactics class, but honestly, i have NEVER seen someone suck so hard at this. can i get a new teammate please? (no? ok.)

i don’t really like you much, but i need help in the witchcraft department and i really can’t ask anyone else

drunk threads! sage doesn’t drink a lot, but when he does, he gets wasted fairly quickly. which drunk sage are you gonna get today? happy? sad? clingy? find out after the break

idk please just plot with me ill think of something else!!

#( to be fair all of this is a whole ass mess and i SUCK at this but please do plot with me : (#( everyone has these beautiful edits of their muse and i honestly don't know shit about photoshop BUT ALAS here's my basic ass introduction #( welcome @ everyone though! c:#( ooc. )#( please do ignore my typos im too impatient to reread

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coralstudiies · 4 years

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omg my revision is gg terribly and i’m so far behind :-( do you have any tips to keep me going/ how to plan an effective revision schedule?

alright dearie dont be worried :(( its not too late yet ok! always keep going even when it feels like the odds are against you :)

ok so trust me you have to dedicate one day for this: what you need to do now is to make a google/excel sheet or just write down all the chapters for all your subjects. if you havent summarised each chapter for yourself on a review sheet (you can check out how tbhstudying on youtube does hers or you can follow mine but mine's not as condensed LOL) you should spend 1.5-2hrs doing so because it helps a lot in your revision. instead of mugging a lecture book or textbook witth of content, you have one piece of paper per chapter!

next, file and organise all your worksheets/papers into binders neatly. go by chapter and if you're missing anything important, ask a friend for theirs to photocopy or just take a photo. you can actually leave this for the weekend if you dont have the time on school days.

afterwards, use google sheets to create a schedule for yourself. basically what you do is: select templates for google sheets and select the schedule option. just make a note when your school day ends and when you'll reach home. from then on, block out time for you to eat, shower, leisure (keep it short tho, 30mins maybe) and try to sleep early(1130latest)

in between that, allocate some time for homework (1-1.5hours maybe?) And the rest of the time for revision.

so let's say i end at 4 on monday. i need an hour or less to get home so ill reach home at 5, have a snack and clean up till 5.30. i eat dinner at 7.30 so i'll finish my homework and practice my piano repertoire for that 2 hours. after dinner i have 1 hour more to practice/homework or sort out any important issues for school so that's 8:30! afterwards i'll have to go for a run and do some other exercise and shower so that means i'll usually be done by 10:30. then i have all the way to 12 to study/make notes. of course you can structure your day differently and it wouldn't be as packed as mine (literally my busiest day of the week) and my leisure time is spent either during study breaks or on the piano.

also, try to figure out what is your 'attention span' for studying. some people do best with 25 study-5 break, others with 45study - 15 break etc. so you have to time yourself and see how long you can last before you get distracted. i'd recommend you get a study timer app like tide (my fav! altho i havent used it in a while oops) to help you focus. lets say if you start off with 25-5, just allocate one 30 min block to that 'focus period'. usually i need at least 1-1.5hours to summarise a chapter but that might differ for you so adjust accordingly!

now, using the google sheet of chapters you created, start by inputting the chapters that you're least familiar with first so that you patch up your weaknesses. i'd recommend you review whatever you learnt frequently; read through the notes on the bus, or you can allocate 30 mins a day to recap concepts that you frequently forget later on. make sure you've covered every chapter for every subject (takes a bit of trial and error) but you have to do this!!!!

afterwards when you go on study break, you should more or less have finished every chapter and be 80% familiar with content. here it might be appropriate to start doing practice papers to fortify your understanding! time yourself and be honest to yourself when you mark your work. consolidate your errors on a postit at the front of the cover.

also some general tips: go for a walk/run frequently because i find that it helps with my focus! invest in some healthy study snacks and fruits to keep you awake while you study and drink lots of water to keep yourself healthy. lock your phone away in a drawer while you study (especially if you're trying to memorise content) and keep your day's plans on a post it that you can paste on the wall/elsewhere where you can see it frequently. also rmb to clarify doubts with your teachers and dont brush it off as something you'll understand later :))) Okai thats all sorry for the late reply but i didnt have time to finish typing this xD

#coralstudiies #asks

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aspoonofsugar · 5 years

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Hello! I just finished Madoka Magica (plus movies) and I have trouble understanding main themes, especially when it comes to Homura and Madoka's relationship. Could summarise briefly what are your thoughts on them?

Hello anon!

Thank you so much for this ask! I have wanted to talk about Madoka since forever, but I had never gotten the chance.

First of all, I will mostly concentrate on the series and I will mention the movie only in the last part of the meta. This is because the story told by the series can be considered finished, whereas the one told by the movie is not really over. Moreover, I have re-watched the series recently, while I watched the movie some time ago, so I remember it less.

When it comes to the main themes, I think there are several and they are all highlighted by short lines within the show.

The most important one is this:

Madoka is a story about wishes. To be more precise it is a story about people having to understand what they really want and which kind of wishes can help them reach happiness and a good outcome and which ones do not.

This theme is clearly underlined by the worldbuilding since in order to become magical girls the characters have to make a wish and their powers and abilities are greatly influenced by that wish. The girls have to find something they wish so strongly they can dedicate their whole lives to it without regrets.

This theme is explored in several ways and these different prospectives are linked to secondary themes. Each secondary theme is illustrated by each girl’s subplot and they all come together in Homura and Madoka’s stories even if in different ways.

To be more precise I would say there are two main secondary themes.

1) Growing up and what it means which is introduced through Mami’s arc.

It’s not that it was her dream to work somewhere, but she is still living the way she wants to live. Some dreams can come true that way.

So you can make how you live your dream?

2) The importance of integrating opposites and to overcome a black and white vision of the world which is explored through Sayaka and Kyouko’s inverted arcs.

MAMI: THE CHILD BEHIND THE IDEAL WOMAN

Mami is introduced as a mentor figure to Sayaka and Madoka. She is older and appears more mature than the two other girls. Moreover, she offers to guide them and to give them advice.

It becomes soon clear that Madoka wants to become like Mami whom she sees as a sofisticated person and as far more adult-like than herself.

This fits with the image Mami wants others to have of her. This ideal image is shown also by Gertrud, the first witch Mami fights:

Gertrud is the rose garden witch and has several attributes Mami shares as well. This is not surprising. As a matter of fact each witch in the series is meant to underline something about the magical girl who fights her. In other words, they can often be seen as embodiments of the girls’ fatal flaws.

When it comes to Gertrud, I would say the witch is more than anything a representation of some superficial aspects Mami presents herself as having. For example, they are both associated with flowers. What is more, the witch is said to be distrustful and Mami’s fight against her has the girl being extremely cautious and prudent.

This battle underlines Mami’s experience and strength and makes so that Madoka starts to wish to become like her senpai.

In order to do so, Madoka decides to become a magical girl without thinking further about her wish since she only wants to become a magical girl. Mami’s reaction to this is important:

Telling Madoka to wish for a cake is an extremely superficial advice and it is very different from what Mami previously told her two apprentices. This is because in this moment Mami shows that she is really just an extremely lonely girl who wants someone with her. This means that, even if Madoka sees her as an adult, Mami is actually still a child under several aspects and this is why she dies by the hands of Charlotte aka the sweet witch:

Charlotte represents childishness. Her labyrinth is full of sweets and resembles a child’s room or a child’s birthday party.

Let us also consider what her wiki page says:

A line in the design for Charlotte’s labyrinth in the Official Guidebook says “It’s really a delicious cheese cake. My dying mother wanted to eat it, but maybe I should have cured her disease instead. However, that surely wasn’t appropriate.”

This line implies that Charlotte’s wish was to have a piece of cheesecake to share with her ill mother.

It is pretty clear how this wish makes the witch parallel Mami.

As a matter of fact Mami too regretted having wished only for her own survival and not having saved her parents as well.

Mami’s mistake (if we can call it so) is to have made a wish before she could realize what she really wanted. Of course, it is comprehensible why she made such a mistake since she was dying when Kyubey offered to realize her wish and she had no time to think about it.

What is important is that Mami who Madoka sees as a grown-up version of herself is actually a person who was forced to grow up too fast and that, as a result, has not completely developed on an emotional level and this makes her very frail and lonely.

Her “premature” wish is symbolic of this and the fact that she encourages Madoka to wish for a cake means that she is encouraging the girl to repeat her own mistake.

So, in the end Mami dies killed by the embodiment of childishness since she had no chance to conquer hers because of her tragic past.

Her arc underlines the importance of growing up and the fact that an attempt to do so by forcing oneself to adopt superficial behaviours which appear as more mature without solving one’s inner-turmoil and insecurities is not an available option.

SAYAKA AND KYOUKO: BLUE AND RED

Sayaka and Kyouko have inverted arcs and the scene in the church shows it. Here the apple means two different things in relation to the two girls’ character arcs.

1) When it comes to Kyouko the apple represents sin:

As a matter of fact it is implied that Kyouko stole them and Sayaka calls her out on her selfish way of living showing her that another choice is possible.

2) When it comes to Sayaka the apple represents the knowledge of good and evil:

As a matter of fact Kyouko offers Sayaka an alternative and deeper point of view when it comes to what is good and what is bad, but Sayaka refuses it just like she refuses the apple.

Sayaka and Kyouko represent two extreme positions and in order to successfully complete their arcs they should integrate with each other.

To be more specific Sayaka should accept that she is motivated not only by noble and altruistic reasons, but also by selfish ones, whereas Kyouko must realize that her way of life rooted in extreme selfishness is wrong.

However, Sayaka is not able to do so. She refuses the apple and metaphorically what Kyouko could teach her. She chooses to persevere in her fatal flaw and her fight with Elsa Maria is symbolic of this:

Let’s underline how black and white are heavily used in this scene. These two colours represent Sayaka’s black and white vision of morality which is simplicistic and rigid. Moreover, the witch symbolizes Sayaka’s hypocrisy. As a matter of fact Elsa Maria is praying, but from her back beasts who attack her enemies are born. In other words she gives her back to both who comes to attack her and to her own monstrosity. This is just like Sayaka who is quick to condemn people who think differently from her (like Kyouko and Homura) and who refuses to look at her own selfishness. Moreover, when Sayaka goes against Elsa Maria, the animals on the witch’s back take the shape of snakes and later on of a tree. The snake and the tree are a call back to the Garden of Eden where Adam and Eve are tricked by the snake to eat the apple. Once again the symbolism around Sayaka highlights how she should accept that there is selfishness within herself. If she did, she could gain knowledge and could become wiser, but she refuses to do so.

This is shown also by her choice to suppress her physical pain during the battle. The suppression of pain lets her fight longer, but it is something even Kyubey advises the girl not to do since it would make her slower. In short, pain is said to be useful and necessary and this holds true for negative things in general as the series makes clear. The desperation the girls feel is what can oppose entropy and so save the universe, people are motivated both by selflessness and selfishness, a person can be both good and bad and so on. So, Sayaka repressing her physical pain is symbolic of her doing the same with the negative things about herself she doesn’t want to face.

However, Sayaka can’t keep repressing forever and in the end she realizes the truth:

But, when she does, it is too late and she becomes a witch. If she had accepted Kyouko’s advice, she could have avoided (or at least postponed) such an outcome.

As far as Kyouko is concerned she is able to positively develop, but since she is trapped in a system which doesn’t let her any way out she still dies.

Let us consider Kyouko’s fight against Oktavia.

First of all, it is interesting how, differently from Sayaka’s fight against Elsa Maria, this fight uses mostly red and blue.

Red and blue are the colours associated to Kyouko and Sayaka and their use in this fight symbolizes the necessity of an integration and how the good or bad result of this fight relies entirely on this.

In the first part of the fight we can see how there is somehow an equilibrium between red and blue:

As it can be seen the witch is blue, whereas the seats are red, so both colours are used heavenly.

This is because in the first part of the fight Kyouko still hopes that it is possible to bring Sayaka back. This is why she lets herself be hit by the wheels. She sees it as a form of punishment for her past behaviour towards Sayaka. By doing so Kyouko shows to have grown and to have understood her past mistakes. This is underlined both by her speech and by her blood being represented as a mixture of blue and red:

However, the wheels can be also symbolic of the wheels of fate and in this case Kyouko being hit by them represents the impossibility for her to bring Sayaka back and the fact that her hope is vain. This is quickly proven true by Oktavia attacking Madoka. Let’s highlight how Oktavia’s blood when Kyouko cuts her arm is only blue:

Even if Kyouko has grown and integrated her point of view with Sayaka’s one, Sayaka is not in the condition of doing the same and this is why Kyouko’s attempt is meant to fail. At this point the floor breaks and Kyouko falls downstairs where the equilibrium between blue and red is lost since the seats appear blue like the witch:

By this point Kyouko chooses to sacrifice herself and to be together in death with Sayaka. It is interesting how by doing so she starts praying. As a matter of fact finding some form of reconciliation with her faith is one of the most important aspects of Kyouko’s arc. However, what mostly interests me about it is the fact that Kyouko’s position resembles Elsa Maria’s one:

Still, Kyouko is not giving her back to Sayaka, aka to what magical girls are bound to become, but she is directly facing her because she has accepted both her good and bad parts. While she does so Kyouko’s red magic brings more equilibrium to the whole scene with red and blue being in harmony.

All in all Sayaka and Kyouko’s stories are meant to convey the importance of integrating between opposites, to face the negative parts of oneself and how bad and good can be side by side and they can be difficult to separate.

Sayaka and Kyouko’s wishes are used once again to communicate this idea as well.

Both girls made a wish for someone else and ended up suffering for it, but the reason of their suffering is different.

Kyouko’s mistake was to think that what she wanted was what his father wanted and that his father would have been happy if magic could make people listen to him.

Sayaka was right to think that Kamijo would be happy to have his hands healed, but she refused to admit that a part of her hoped to receive a reward for such a wish and to be more specific that she hoped that Kamijo would love her.

Sayaka and Kyouko’s wishes underline the grayness within the ideas of selflessness and selfishness and how these two concepts are often both present and intertwined in people.

MADOKA AND HOMURA: A DIFFICULT CONCILIATION

Mami’s arc explores the theme of growing up and Kyouko and Sayaka’s arc the importance of reconciling good and bad, selfishness and selflessness.

Both these topics find a resolution through Madoka’s final wish.

As a matter of fact Madoka chooses to erase all the witches and to dedicate her own life to it.

The idea of making of one’s lifestyle their own dream is something which has been touched at the beginning of the series. There, Madoka wanted to make of her magical girl style of life her wish, but back then she was still looking at things in a superficial way. As a matter of fact Madoka was trying to solve her self-esteem and self-loathing problems by acquiring magical powers. By the end of the series she doesn’t become a magical girl in order to grow up, but she can become one because she has grown up.

Similarly, it is important to note that Madoka’s wish doesn’t erase evilness or desperation or the negative things happening in the world. This is because the series underlines how these things are a part of the world itself and can never be completely destroyed as Sayaka’s attempt shows. So, Madoka chooses not to eradicate the magical girls system. After all, if she did the universe would have been ultimately destroyed as Kyubey explained (alternatively the Incubators would have found another cruel way to collect human energy). After having considered this, Madoka decides to respect the will of other magical girls to risk their lives to realize their wishes and simply makes the system less cruel. The ending suggests that the system has been changed and that now magical girls go around fighting monsters representative of human negative emotions. By doing so, they collect energy which is then given to the Incubators to use. They do something which is much closer to what magical girls typically do and they are not tricked into becoming witches by the Incubators anymore.

In other words, Madoka’s wish embodies the themes of the series.

Another important thing about it is that by making the wish Madoka becomes active.

Throughout the series Madoka’s passiveness and her self-loathing have been two of her biggest flaws as her meeting with Elly shows. The witch catches Madoka and forces her to see Mami’s last moments again by showing them on the screens. Madoka being completely helpless and prey of the witch could symbolically represent her feeling of being useless and without worth since she thinks she is not able to help people. As it is clear she overcomes these feelings in the finale.

Let’s now consider Homura and how she herself is linked to the two themes underlined above.

Homura’s wish is born by the unwillingness to accept Madoka’s death, so by her being unable to move on and this is symbolically shown by her repeating the same month several times.

So, Homura’s wish negates what the series wants to convey since 1) it is born by Homura’s refusal to accept something negative which happened to her (Madoka’s death) and 2) it literally makes so that the time won’t keep flowing and so that Homura and all the other characters won’t go on and won’t grow up.

This is shown also by the witch which represents Homura’s character flaw aka Walpurgisnacht.

Let’s consider what Walpurgisnacht’s wiki page says:

She will turn all of fate’s misfortune to nothing.She will flood the earth with magic,and take all of humankind into her play.A moving stage construction.

If everything is a play, no unhappy things will exist.It may be a tragedy, but it’ll all be part of the script.

The play stops on Walpurgisnacht,and the earth does not turn even once more.The story will not change.Tomorrow, and the day after, is the night of Walpurgis.

And also:

She symbolizes the fool who continuously spins in circles.

The fool who continuously spins in circles is a reference to Homura and to her quest to change the future by continuing to live again and again through the same situations.

What Homura does is similar to Walpurgis’s attempt to turn the whole world into a play because by making reality into fiction people won’t be forced to truly accept the bad things which happen to them. As a matter of fact every time Homura reaches a bad ending all she has to do is to refuse the outcome and to go back in order to change it until she reaches a situation she can accept as reality. However, no matter how many times she repeats things, she will never be able to obtain what she wants.

In short, whereas Madoka affirms the series’ themes in an active way through her wish, Homura has to convey them in a passive way by giving up her wish to save Madoka. This is because growing up means both to find something which is worth to fight for, but also to realize when it is time to give up.

Madoka and Homura represents these two different kinds of growth.

At the same time though, Homura’s wish is not condemned as useless by the series.

In order to understand it, let’s consider Madoka’s witch form aka Gretchen.

The wiki says interesting things about this witch:

Witch of salvation. Her nature is mercy. She absorbs any life on the planet into her newly created heaven–her barrier. The only way to defeat this witch is to make the world free of misfortune. If there’s no grief in this world, she will believe this world is already a heaven.

And also:

According to witch animator and designer InuCurry, Walpurgis Night’s and Kriemhild Gretchen’s silhouettes are supposed to make a pair.

Puella Magi Production Note further reveals that Kriemhild Gretchen is meant to look like the lower half of a sand timer, while Walpurgis Night looks like the upper half. Interestingly, Homura’s shield has also been described as a sand timer.

In short, Madoka’s witch form is meant to show that also a noble feeling like mercy can lead to desperation and destruction if it is imposed and extreme. Moreover, Gretchen seems to be a witch which is complementary to Walpurgis i.e. the embodyment of Homura’s flaws.

In other words, Madoka and Homura are opposites and alone would not have managed to do much, but the union of their efforts and the integration of their different world views led to some kind of result.

As a matter of fact, Madoka’s wish to sacrifice herself for others would not have accomplished much if fueled by an absence of self-worth. However, when coupled with Homura’s feelings it let Madoka change the world. It is thanks to Homura, thus, that Madoka became so powerful in the first place and could finally grow up. In other words, symbolically, Homura’s love gave Madoka the self-worth she lacked making her a better person, so that she could then help the whole world.

Their two wishes, one born out of a selfless desire to help everybody and the other born by the selfish will to twist time in order to help one person are complementary and, in different ways, lead to the series’ ending.

This resolution is sealed by Madoka giving Homura her ribbons.

The ribbons have a double meaning.

1) When it comes to Madoka, her giving them to Homura underlines her finally growing up. This is because they were given to her by her mother at the beginning of the series, so Madoka finally giving them to someone else shows that she doesn’t need to depend on a parent anymore.

2) When it comes to Homura, they represent her relationship with Madoka and are a memento of her friend. After she receives them Homura shows to have accepted Madoka’s wish to fight in order to protect the world and she is determined to fulfill it. Basically, the ribbons represent Madoka’s legacy.

I have analyzed the series, so I will now do a short section dedicated to the movie and to Homura and Madoka more specifically.

In short, Homura regresses throughout the movie. Her growth lies in letting Madoka go and in partially accepting her pov. In the series she did so even if in a passive way (meaning she was not given any other choice) and in the movie she changes her mind and acts to change things.

Basically the movie shows that a new conflict will be born in the future between Homura and Madoka and the root of this conflict will be this:

H: “Kaname Madoka, do you treasure this world? Do you consider stability and order more important than desire?”

M: “Well, I…Um…I do treasure it. I guess I do think it’s kind of bad to break the rules because you feel like it”.

H: “I see…Then I suppose one day you will be my enemy as well”.

Homura despises the world which makes people and Madoka especially suffer and thinks that desires should be fulfilled no matter what, whereas Madoka treasures the world despite its flaws and thinks that to respect its laws is more important than the satisfaction of one’s desires.

They are two opposite visions which will lead the two girls to fight each other.

What follows this conversation is an inversion of what happens at the end of the series since Homura gives Madoka her ribbons back.

Once again this has two meanings.

1) Homura refuses Madoka’s POV she had previously partially accepted and in this way she also gives up her friendship with Madoka since she affirms they will be enemies.

2) In a sense the ribbons are symbolic of Homura tying Madoka and imprisoning her. Let’s underline that when Madoka is about to awake her true powers her pigtails are getting loose. However, Homura stops Madoka by embracing her and later on she ties her hair with the red ribbons. Moreover, as explained above, the ribbons are symbolic of Madoka’s childishness, so this means Homura is making so that Madoka remains stuck in her childhood. This is coherent with Homura wanting to protect her by any hardship which is something not only impossible, but also detrimental for a person’s growth.

This scene is also interesting because it is also a call back to a previous one in the movie:

As a matter of fact Madoka too at one point tries to calm Homura down through tying her hair and Homura is tempted to lose herself in such a dream, but in the end she refuses this consolation.

This leads us to explore what is probably the main problem of Homura and Madoka.

Basically they both have a very low self-esteem and in order to prove their worth they are both determined to be useful and to succeed in their mission as magical girls. However, Madoka’s mission as a magical girl is in opposition with Homura’s one and this leads the two girls to never be completely satisfied at the same time. If you notice, both in the series and in the movie, when Madoka is active and confident Homura is unsure and lost and vice versa. Homura especially needs Madoka to be safe in order to prove her self worth and this is a problem because it makes so that it is impossible for Madoka to claim any form of agency since it will lead to Homura being left unsatisfied.

So, if we will ever have a sequel I think it will explore the conflict between Homura and Madoka and will offer a new integration between their two points of view other than Homura actively letting go of her wish this time.

Thank you for the ask and I am sorry for the long answer, I hope you enjoyed it!

#puella magi madoka magica #pmmm #puella magi madoka magica meta #pmmm meta #madoka meta #homura akemi #madoka kaname #miki sayaka #kyouko sakura #mami tomoe #asksfullofsugar #anonymous #my meta

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fromthedeskofelizabeththird · 5 years

Text

So Here are the Spoilers -Volume III

AKA I have not been this mad at Cheritz for ages. Let’s deep dive.

Warning: this post contains spoilers and mentions of abuse and p*dophilia.

Also Rika.

So much Rika...

I am mad, yo

Not even mad, I am furious.

As I usually do when I give my thoughts like this, here is what I wanted from V after end and Rika DLC

V moving on with his life and having a happy ending with MC

The RFA healing and also moving on

A focus on MC and V!! And their love???? You know?? The point of him having a route in the first place.

An exploration of Rika’s past and Mint Eye, to fill in all the blanks we have so far

Rika facing justice and seeking redemption.

I’ll be honest.

If you want fluffy V and MC content, go ahead and play the existing ends. The after end is not really about V at all. It’s along the same lines as Secret Ends 02, where your LI isn’t really present and instead dealing with their own emotional turmoil and issues.

And, you know. To an extent I would have been okay with this in V content. V is the leader of the RFA and it would be weird if the fall out from Rika wasn’t even addressed. My beef about this is that we don’t get a secret end 01 where MC and V are together, repairing problems together. We don’t see V at all for 98% of the story. We get more Rika content than V...which is a whole other issue I’ll get to in a bit. Hell...I’m pretty sure we get more VANDERWOOD than V. (Don’t get me wrong...I like Vanderwood, but wtf??)

It’s honestly the same complaint I have for both Jumin’s after end and Valentine’s DLC, where he’s not even present for most of it and it feels like a waste of time and hourglasses. (And at 80 hourglasses per chapter, plus another 100 to unlock both endings, it doesn’t come cheap.)

V and MC’s ‘happy ending’ is an afterthought. V’s entire presence in the after end is an ‘oh by the way, remember V? The character whose after end you’re in I guess???’

Ugh.

Anyway.

It was good to see the RFA healing and moving on. I was so heartbroken by Jumin’s inability to cope with what was going on, even as he took extra care to make sure the rest of the RFA were fine. I loved Yoosung’s anger and conflict over this person he’d admired and respected for so long. I loved Seven’s complete breakdown over the potential loss of his brother.

I loved that they got reunited!

What I didn’t like?

The forcedness.

The after end gives you two choices: Judge or Forgive. I hoped that they would be complimentary to one another, like in Seven’s Valentine DLC, where both were good ends, just different in tone.

Well, boy was I wrong!

From the beginning of the After End, you are pushed towards Forgiveness, with the MC being portrayed as completely unreasonable and borderline hysterical if they show even an ounce of resentment and anger towards Rika. If you go on to unlock the Judgement ending, Cheritz not only spits in your face but every single one of her victims.

There is a short VN sequence called Rika Circus, where you are mocked for essentially enjoying torture porn and wanting Rika to come to a cruel end and suffer a horrible fate. It’s the judgement ending, but you the player are judged instead.

Just getting these screens made me feel physically sick:

I don’t know where to begin with this bs. Maybe with the preface that I am an abuse survivor and pushing the idea that victims have to forgive their abusers in any way shape or form and aren’t allowed to hold even a small amount of anger towards them is completely shameful? This ending literally borders on the same gaslighting logic that if a victim stands up to their abuser they are the shitty one and hyper aggressive. I wish I could explain how bad this ending was for my PTSD.

Actually no. I will explain.

The most important lesson I got from my therapist was how okay it was to be angry, because it was an acknowledgement that I was a victim and my abuser was in the wrong. That I didn’t have to forgive her if I didn’t want to. That it was important for me to feel valid in my emotions.

Maybe what bothered me was the cognitive dissonance (and gaslighting) that an MC wanting Rika to face justice must 100% want her to die or live out the rest of her days being mistreated and even sexually assaulted? Like??? How about no?? Are there no jails in Mysme’s universe? No community service? We know from the Judgement end that she got a life sentence, so it’s not like the MC sentenced her to death.

Maybe it’s because the player is given very valid choices e.g. being suspicious of the cult leader who stabbed their boyfriend and tortured numerous people, but are framed along the same lines as the MC being like KILL HER *knife emoji*.

Maybe it’s because this ending is the first time the player gets close to knowing Rika’s past and then is made to feel guilty about not knowing it?

I just

/inhale

right.

/deep breaths

okay

/breathe

my hands haven’t stopped shaking for hours haHA fuck my life

I can’t help but feel like this after end undid absolutely all of the highlights of V’s route. V only mentions his love being an obsession in the judgement endings.

Actually, all of the RFA’s reactions in the judgement ending are the same as their reactions to finding out the truth about Rika in V’s route. Jumin wants her to have a life sentence despite his conflict about it. Yoosung is upset and mad. Zen wants nothing to do with her.

And this is the ‘bad’ ending.

The forgiveness ending is pretty Rika centric and incorporates V’s good end. The RFA is back to normal, V comes back fine. It’s strongly implied that he and Rika both spent time in Alaska together before coming to propose to MC. Rika, as far as we know, never faced punishment for her crimes, which is framed as a good thing.

Perhaps the most abhorrent part of the forgiveness ending is that it’s the only one where Rika comes forward and confesses the truth about the twins...which... I’m not sure why C&R’s fate, the Chois being safe etc et al comes down to MC’s feelings about Rika. It’s a disservice to Rika more than anything, because it seems like she only comes clean because MC was nice to her and not because...you know.. it was the right thing to do.

And this brings me onto the treatment of Rika in the route and DLC and holy shit, it’s a ride.

No, Rika is not redeemed.

Yes, she is woobified to hell and back and then twice more.

We learn that Rika was adopted by Yoosung’s relatives, who were cruel and devoted to the Catholic church. Later she was verbally abused and assaulted by a priest. She later decided to take power in the fact that people would be afraid of her and thought she was Satan etc.

I’ll be blunt.

Rika’s DLC is just an expensive retcon. It’s seven chapters at 60HG each just to be told that Rika had a sad past and all of her terrible actions came from being treated badly. She does not even get to be held accountable for Mint Eye, because Cheritz gave her a sister who actually was the one to tell her not to trust V or the RFA and poisoned her mind.

Rika does not, nor ever, get a proper redemption because even in her own DLC it’s never admitted that she was in the wrong...which is some bullshit logic because...well..it’s really jarring to have it constantly reinforced that Rika did nothing wrong and should not be judged because of her sad past at the hands of her foster mother with cult-like beliefs... because if we take from it the fact that Rika became essentially the same, by extension shouldn’t we then forgive her abusers because we don’t know their story either? Should we shrug off any notion that the priest should be imprisoned because judging people is bad and we just want him to be tortured and forgiveness is the way to go?

I’m just

I don’t know what I expected but

they still managed to disappoint me

To summarise, the after end is bullshit, V isn’t even there for most of it, Rika gets no redemption arc and is treated like an uwu flower crown victim and it’s all very manipulative and rushed lmao. It’s a waste of hourglasses and time and literally undoes everything good that came before it

#mystic messenger #mysme #not tagging the rat lmao #spoilers #I JUST WANTED V KISSES ON VALENTINES DAY CHERITZ #WHY

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eforest · 5 years

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Oof my school is threatening to homebound me/take away my credits/fail me bc I miss bc I’m chronically ill..even though I have doctors excuses.. bro....Nd my fam keeps telling me how I ruin their life bc I’m disabled :((

that’s all really really awful, I’m so sorry you’re going through that!

I just want to quickly say that my answer to this is all going to be from personal experience so I’m sorry if it isn’t very informative and more just what my general ways of going about this were as I don’t really have much knowledge on this other than that. I’m also not entirely sure if all of this is the same in other countries. It’s likely also going to be a bit rambly due to it being late (I want to answer it rn regardless and it’s not like any trouble I just wanted to let you know that real quick).

My school ended up doing about the same before I ended up having to drop out due to my health. Especially the school I went to before having to switch to special ed, so I’m not too sure about how to actively handle it. But do you know if it would be possible to try and arrange a talk with your doctor and the school staff if you haven’t already done that?

I ended up usually taking my therapist/psychologist at the time along who’d also explain my physical illness parts and be the like contact person regarding all of it. For me that ended up helping a lot as they’d make the deals regarding it in the talks and because they were speaking to a medical professional they were a lot less likely to be as bad about it and when the deals were made they couldn’t just disagree again after (to ensure that I recommend getting a black on white statement from them that those are in fact the things you decided on).

I’m not sure if your school would be willing to do this, but what could also help is trying to ask for accommodations that they feel still qualify as a replacement for what you have to miss? Such as maybe even asking for video recordings of lessons and different assignments to replace an assignment you can’t do. Offering things like that tends to make them see you as actively motivated/trying and cooperative. While you are either way, that’s basically just some bootlicking which can help sometimes.

I eventually ended up being able to drop several things, not do all the homework, get extensions, etc. but that might’ve been due to this being at the special ed school. At the school before that I ended up being able to for example not do PE and instead for example needing to an essay in its place. I also ended up being allowed to make up for the time I missed through doing a bunch of tests that summarised the work from the year. (Sadly though in the end they wouldn’t let me pass even after meeting all their requirements because some teachers were just rlly ableist and wouldn’t grade my work and made it so I had less time on tests etc. but that doesn’t need to be the same for anyone else! them not letting me pass was the reason I switched to special ed where they did let me pass.)

In the end with the special ed they even went as far to allow me to purely focus on my end year (mostly from home) and just the exam related and absolutely required things as well (this was before my actual end year too) so generally these types of things /should/ be a possibility for them to offer.

Which reminds me, if it’s at all option, switching to special ed can generally open up a lot more possibilities with these things, and staff/teachers tend to be a lot more understanding there! But I know that’s not an option for everyone, I only got to because my therapist at the time practically forced it onto my family as the only option at the time after all the problems with regular schooling, on top of living somewhere where this is an option at all.

Generally speaking, I think it might actually be illegal for them to do these kinds of things so that might be worth looking into and potentially fighting as well if you can manage to with the help of doctors and such. Maybe even just looking into the rights you have with this and letting them know you’re aware of those. But I know that’s really difficult when you’re already struggling as much. If it comes to that it might be an option to have others mostly figure it out for you like support workers and such things if the doctor(s) you have can’t.

I also want to add that if these things still end up inaccessible to you, that dropping out entirely when you can or doing something like GED instead is not in any way worse, and that you’ll still be able to live your life in ways that work for you. I’ve dropped out myself and I’m currently getting on disability benefits and will be moving out early next year regardless. The road that gets laid out for you originally isn’t the only way, and for many people not even an option and there is absolutely no shame in that.

Regarding your family, I’m really sorry you’re stuck with as ableist family. I know what that’s like and it’s really nowhere near okay for them to treat you that way! I know there isn’t much I can do regarding that sadly but keeping my fingers crossed for you that they’ll become more educated and understanding eventually.

I really hope it’ll be an option for you to get away from them sooner than later if not because it’s really terrible to be in that spot and their ableism can also be really affect your health. And that once you’re away from their influences at least that you get to surround yourself with more supportive and understanding and generally good people!

Please also try your best to remember that your disabilities will never be your fault and that none of these things make it okay for these people to treat you this way. Ableism is generally too light of a word as it’s just a form of abuse. Deciding on having a child means also deciding to care for and love said child no matter what turns their life take and this includes any forms of disability. You’re not ruining absolutely anything for them. Your disabilities in no way make you a burden, worse child, or anything like that, their ways of responding to this just make them horrible people.

I hope any of this could be of help and I’m sending lots of support, love, and solidarity your way. Please know that if you ever just need to vent or anything like that my inbox and DMs are open! ♡

I also want to quickly ask if you’re okay with me reblogging this to my mental and physical health blog @schizospoonie to put it in my advice tag there (a collection of asks I’ve answered in ways like these).

#I'm sorry this took be a bit to answer #I'm not very fast with writing out answers due to my cognitive problems and disorganised thoughts #but I always want to give elaborate answers regardless #ask #cherieu

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epsquish · 4 years

Text

Now I understand why I’m uneasy with my parent

I’m not on the “extreme” end of things. All the neglect and trauma slid under the radar through the years because nothing was obvious. My mum would still try to connect, still do good things. There’s some bad things I can’t identify, but out of the ones I can point a finger at and say “this thing, this is what she did”, very few are horrible traumas. Most are just shitty things that were rude or uncomfortable. I’m in a weird grey area, I think. Not so bad, not so good.

Thing is, my mum has always been inconsistent and it drove me up the wall. Lately, she’s been great, very recently there was a dip. Before that, it was uh, uncomfortable. You know what sucks? I’ve found two consistencies:

1) She’ll be nicer to me when my dad is present or he’s otherwise involved in the situation.

2) She’s nicer to me when I’m very sick, and starts taking jabs at me when I show recovery.

This is the best way I can summarise it for now. It sucks. I actually worry about getting healthier because she’ll treat me badly (I’m planning my own safety net so I don’t have to rely on her, screw being sick if I can help it).

I always find conversations with her confusing. She wants a certain reaction out of me. Which I don’t pick up on at the time because I’m autistic and good luck getting me to click that “I wanted to do something nice for someone else” actually means “praise me for being nice to someone”. Ironically, she took a subtle swipe at me in response to that, and I didn’t pick up on that either until way later, so, lol, super ineffective!

Anyway. When I started looking for help, I assumed my mum was narcissistic (not the personality disorder, just to clarify. Is “badly self-absorbed” a better way to put it? Idk). After a while and some discussions with my therapist I got pulled back towards “well, maybe she’s struggling with stuff, and she does care but doesn’t know how to show it. There’s reason to have issues, but they’re not bad and things will get better”.

But now I see the pattern and I just. How do you make excuses for that?

“Oh she cares about you, she just doesn’t like it when you’re well”

“Oh she wants to help you succeed, but only if your dad is watching”

“She’s supportive of your therapy, she just takes every opportunity to discourage it”

“She really wants to talk to you, she just takes everything personally and everything is subtly about her”

“She wants to support you through your illness, it’s just the only times she mentions it, it’s gossip about other people who have it or reminding you how bad it is”

When I started therapy she wised up and cleaned up her behaviour. I knew something wasn’t right. It feels nit picky, but at the same time, it gets to me a bit when I don’t understand what’s going on with my situation and who I can trust. It’s a disappointment that things aren’t changing in the direction I thought I was seeing, but not surprising. I had a suspicion of this before, and these recent events have reaffirmed it.

I need to set myself some emotional boundaries I think. I used to be scared of that, but at the end of the day my mum only mentally holds lifelong grudges but doesn’t actually do much about them. That’s a win for me as far as I’m concerned.

#venting #long post #toxic parents #self absorbed parents #no progress

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chocolatequeennk · 5 years

Text

A Visit From St. Nicholas, 2/2

On one very special Christmas Eve, the Christmas wishes of three people will be answered in a way they never imagined.

Ten x Rose, reunion fic with Tony Tyler and Martha Jones. For @doctorroseprompts 31 Days of Ficmas, presents.

I had this almost ready to go on Christmas Day, and then my cat got seriously ill. I spent 36 hours focused solely on nursing her back to health. She's doing much better, so I was able to finish it today. I'll hopefully be updating my other holiday story today or tomorrow as well.

AO3 | FF.NET | Ch 1

Rose watched the Christmas snow fall for a few minutes, then pulled on a warm coat and snuck downstairs. This was a moment she wanted all for herself, without her little brother’s company or her mum’s commentary.

Outside, the first dusting of snow just covered the walk. Her boot melted through it instantly, leaving a dark footprint behind.

She held out her hand, and a snowflake melted into her black leather glove. On an impulse, she tilted her head back and caught one on her tongue, just like she’d done when she was younger.

She hummed happily. “Still tastes like icing sugar.”

Then she pulled her scarf up to keep out the cold and stepped off the walkway. The whispering sound of her boots stepping through the fresh snow only highlighted the peace that had settled over the estate.

Like everything, snow brought back memories of the Doctor. Those were some of those non-trouble parts she loved so much about her life with him. Days spent traipsing through quaint villages with snow-covered streets. Snowball fights in a park, when she’d enlisted an army of children to ambush him. Ice skating on a frozen pond.

Rose burrowed her cold nose in a fold of her scarf, then laughed when that brought up the memory of the ridiculously long scarf she’d found in the wardrobe room. The Doctor had rolled his eyes and muttered something about his old fashion sense when she walked into the console room with it looped around her neck three times. But he hadn’t complained when she used it to pull him into a kiss.

Lost in her memories, Rose didn’t notice the warmth spreading over her chest until it was almost uncomfortably hot. “What…?” She fumbled with her zipper and reached under her jumper to pull out her TARDIS key.

Her heart started racing when she saw the way the key was glowing. She’d seen a TARDIS key glow like that once before, and the Doctor had said it was because it was trying to tell him it was still connected to the ship.

“Oh my God.” She clutched the key tight and turned in a slow circle. “Please, please, please…”

She hadn’t felt a thing from the key in years. If it was connected to the TARDIS now, then maybe that meant the Doctor was in this universe.

The wind picked up around her, but Rose refused to believe it was anything other than the snowstorm until she could see the outline of the TARDIS forming. Her hands started shaking when she could see the light on top of the ship flashing at her and feel the warm hum in her mind.

The door flew open as soon as the ship landed, and Rose watched in shock as the Doctor rushed out. They stared at each other for a long moment, then somehow, they were in each other’s arms.

The Doctor cradled Rose’s face between his hands, thumbs brushing over her cheekbones. Rose! He reached out for her, and there she was, her mind just as beautiful and vibrant as it had been that night so long ago when they’d bonded.

Rose gasped, then her hands curled around his lapels and tugged him down for a kiss. Thought I’d never see you again, she said as she carded her fingers through his hair. I missed you so much.

I know, love. I know. The Doctor snagged her bottom lip between his teeth and nipped gently, then swept his tongue into her mouth when she parted her lips in surprise. But I’m here now and I’m never letting you go again.

She sighed, then melted into his kiss. The Doctor pulled her close, not wanting there to be even an inch separating them after so long spent apart.

The wind blew snow around them. Even through the passion and joy of their reunion, the Doctor could feel Rose shiver. “You’re freezing,” he mumbled between kisses. “Let’s go inside.”

Rose hummed her approval and slowly pulled out of the kiss. But when the Doctor tried to turn towards the TARDIS, she shook her head. “Come with me,” she whispered, walking towards the house with his hand in hers.

The Doctor dragged his feet a bit. “But our room is in the TARDIS,” he protested.

The impish humour he could feel over the bond intrigued him, and he waited for Rose’s response. “Indulge me,” she said, and the Doctor’s resistance melted away.

“Lead the way.”

She rewarded him with a brilliant smile, and they raced across the lawn hand-in-hand. When they reached the back door, Rose held her finger to her lips. “I think everyone is asleep,” she whispered. “They should be, anyway. But just in case…”

The Doctor leaned down so he could whisper in her ear. “Rose Tyler, are you trying to sneak me into your mum’s home?”

She shivered when his breath hit her neck, and he couldn’t resist nuzzling into the sensitive spot. When she sighed his name, he nudged her scarf aside with his nose and kissed her neck.

Rose hummed her approval, then stepped away from him. “Come on, inside.”

With one last caress over their bond, the Doctor pulled back and gestured for Rose to open the door. He stifled a chuckle when she crept stealthily into the kitchen, looking around to make sure they were alone.

“Ooh, biscuits,” the Doctor said, spying the plate that must have been left out for Santa. He snagged one on the way by and munched on it as they started up the back staircase. Rose rolled her eyes at him, and her indulgent affection warmed him.

Just like a little kid, she told him as they reached the first floor landing.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, then let her see a few of his plans for their reunion. Rose’s breathing shallowed, and she pressed a hand to her heart.

Or not, she agreed shakily. Come on. We’re almost there, then you can show me what else you’ve been planning.

They crept up another two flights of stairs, then Rose took his hand again and backed up, leading him to one of the two doors. The Doctor put his hands on her hips as she leaned back against the door and twisted a strand of hair around her finger.

“Never brought a bloke up here before.” She bit her lip and looked down—if the Doctor didn’t know better, he would have thought she was genuinely nervous.

He huffed softly and stepped closer. “I’ll try to make it worth the risk,” he whispered against her lips.

He felt Rose’s lips curve up into a smile, then she turned the handle and they went inside.

oOoOo

Later, Rose relished the comforting weight of the Doctor’s arm around her waist as she lay curled against his side. After five years without, she didn’t think she would ever get enough of his touch.

The hand that had been running absently up and down her back paused. “It’s been five years for you?”

Rose nodded, and his guilt and heartbreak made her throat tight. She swallowed, then quickly redirected the conversation.

“That’s not important though,” she said. “How did you get here? I thought travel between parallel universes was impossible.”

The Doctor pressed a kiss to her temple before answering. “I might have had some help with that, actually,” he admitted. “It turns out, I’m not the only pan-dimensional being left in the universe.”

Rose propped herself up on her elbow and looked down at him, just able to see his face in the moonlight. “You aren’t?”

“Nope.” The Doctor mirrored her position, and the duvet slid down a few inches. “Martha and I were in the console room this morning when we heard a tapping on the roof.”

Rose frowned, trying to picture the story he was painting. “You heard… On the TARDIS roof?”

“Yep! The tiny hoofbeats of eight miniature reindeer, as it turns out.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” Rose breathed.

The Doctor giggled and shook his head. “Even I couldn’t make up a story this unbelievable,” he assured her. “I opened the door, and Santa was there, in his sleigh, floating in the middle of the Vortex.”

“Santa Claus. Father Christmas. Bearded fellow dressed in red velvet.”

The Doctor nodded. “The very one. He’d come to get me to fulfil Tony’s Christmas wish.”

Rose blinked, trying to stop the sudden, unexpected tears. “Not just Tony’s,” she murmured.

The Doctor took her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “Anyway!” he said. “It turns out Santa is able to travel between dimensions. That’s how he gets all the toys delivered every year.”

“So Santa in this universe is the same as Santa in our universe, and he heard our Christmas wish and decided to make it possible?” Rose summarised.

“Yep! Pretty much.”

Rose took a moment to process that. It was mental, but didn’t that describe their whole life? Looking up at her husband, she decided there were better ways to spend the night than trying to understand trans-dimensional physics.

She rested her hand on the Doctor’s hip and licked her lips. “You know, Doctor, I hear that Santa won’t come if we don’t go to bed.”

The Doctor blinked. “I just told you. He already came.”

Rose shook her head and waited for him to catch on to her not-so-subtle innuendo. A moment later, amusement and approval sparked over their bond, and he slung a leg over hers and rolled them over.

He leaned down and brushed his lips over hers, then whispered, “Well in that case, Rose Tyler, let’s go to bed.”

oOoOo

It took Rose a moment when she woke up the next morning to realise what was different. Then she felt the lean body wrapped around hers, and more importantly, the Doctor holding her close over the bond.

He pressed a kiss to her neck. “Happy Christmas, love,” he murmured against her skin.

Rose tilted her head to give him more access. “Happy Christmas, Doctor.”

The words sparked a memory in Rose’s mind, and she sat up abruptly, elbowing the Doctor in the ribs in the process. “It’s Christmas!”

“Yes, I know,” he groaned, rubbing at his side. “And if that’s how you’re going to react every Christmas, we might never land on Christmas again.”

Rose shook her head impatiently. “It’s Christmas morning,” she emphasised. “Presents.”

He scratched at his sideburn. “Ah, I don’t have anything for you… though I’m sure I could find something in the TARDIS…”

Rose rolled her eyes. “No, you plum. You are the present.”

She felt the moment it clicked. “That’s right. Santa said Tony had been asking to meet me.”

Rose listened carefully. “I don’t think he’s up yet, which is a Christmas miracle all of its own.” Her mind whirled, trying to think of the best way to spring the Christmas surprise on her little brother. “Come on. I have an idea.”

They dressed hurriedly, Rose in flannel pyjamas and the Doctor in his suit.

“You do an awful lot of sneaking,” the Doctor commented in a stage whisper as they went back downstairs.

Rose looked over her shoulder at him. “Part of living with a very curious younger sibling,” she explained. “Now, shush! We’re almost there.”

She led the Doctor into the lounge, which was still half in shadow as the winter sun hadn’t even risen yet. “And now we wait,” she said.

The Doctor sat down in the corner of the couch and pulled Rose into his lap. “I missed this,” he said as she settled into his arms. “Holding you, feeling you breathe, hearing your heartbeat.”

Rose massaged his temples, and the Doctor felt his tension melt away. “I did too,” she agreed. “But that’s all over now.”

Before the Doctor could voice his agreement, or kiss her, they heard a door bang against the wall upstairs, then what sounded like a herd of elephants thundering down the hallway. He could only assume Rose’s little brother was awake.

“Rose! Rose!” a young boy shouted. “It’s Christmas, and it snowed!”

The footsteps moved away from them, and Rose said, “He’s running up the stairs to my room.”

Another door opened, and a more familiar voice joined the cacophony. “Tony Tyler, what have I told you about running inside?”

The answer was faint, but chipper. “Happy Christmas, Mummy!”

Jackie’s sigh was audible even in the lounge, and the Doctor pressed his lips to Rose’s shoulder to suppress his laughter.

“Come on, Jacks, we might as well open presents.” A light flicked on. “After all, it is Christmas.”

“Mummy, Rose isn’t in her room.”

Rose slid out of the Doctor’s lap and reached over the arm of the couch for something on the end table. “I’m already downstairs, Tony. I was just making sure Santa brought all the presents you asked for.” Then she shot the Doctor a wicked smile and put a big red bow on his head.

The Doctor’s squawk of surprise was drowned out by Tony’s childish shout of delight. Footsteps echoed back down the stairs, and the Doctor felt the first glimmer of trepidation—how could he possibly live up to whatever image Tony had of him?

“Tony, stop running!”

A tiny red-headed boy skidded into the lounge on his stocking feet, heedless of his mother’s command. His gaze landed on the tree first, then when Rose cleared her throat, he looked around the room.

Tony’s eyes widened when he spotted the Doctor sitting on the couch. “Are you him?” he whispered, and the hope in his voice eased all the Doctor’s worries.

He swallowed, then nodded and opened his arms as the little boy hurtled across the room and leapt into his lap. “I knew it would work, I knew Santa could bring you!” he mumbled into the Doctor’s chest. “Rose said there wasn’t any way for you to get here, but Santa can do everything.”

Jackie and Pete appeared, then froze in the doorway. “How…?” Jackie said, for once unable to say anything else.

Rose nudged him when she picked up on that thought, and he smiled unrepentantly at her.

Tony squirmed until he was sitting properly in the Doctor’s lap. “Look, Mummy! I asked Santa to bring the Doctor for Christmas, and he did!”

“Yes, he did,” the Doctor agreed.

Jackie narrowed her eyes at him, and he knew she was about to tell him off for encouraging Tony’s belief that Santa could do something so magical.

He shook his head quickly. “Strange as it sounds, Jackie, that is exactly what happened. He flew right up to the TARDIS in his sleigh and gave me a button that would let us travel between universes.”

Jackie looked at him, then at Rose, and her shoulders slumped slightly. Pete wrapped an arm around her waist, and she smiled at them.

“This is the second Christmas party you’ve crashed, you know.”

The Doctor frowned at her for a moment, trying to understand why she seemed so sad. “Yesssss…” he said slowly. “But it won’t be the last.” He’d mentioned that, hadn’t he? “This was not just a one-time trip,” he continued. “The TARDIS will need time to recover between trips… say, about a year. So, unless you object, Jackie, I think Rose and I will visit every year for Christmas.”

Jackie stood stock-still for a moment, then she let out a shriek the Doctor hoped never to hear again. She ran across the room and pulled him and Rose both to their feet, wrapping her arms around them.

“I still don’t understand that life of yours,” she said as she pulled back after a few seconds. “But if it means we can still see Rose, I don’t care. Just try not to get in too much trouble.”

“It’s the best life!” Tony protested. “Trouble is just the bits in between.”

The Doctor looked over at Rose, his eyebrow arched. Rose smiled and put her arm around his waist. “I told him all of our stories. His favourite is the Sycorax, because you used a sword, but I think this is the one I’m going to love most of all.”

“Tony, why don’t you see what else Santa brought you,” Pete suggested. Tony darted around the Doctor and Rose and ran to the tree.

The Doctor ignored the gift unwrapping happening a few feet away. He had already been given the best gift possible. He turned and pulled Rose close, resting his hands on her hips. Her head tipped back slightly, and he couldn’t resist the invitation.

The best story of all, he agreed as they kissed. With the best possible ending.

Somewhere in the universes, he knew a jolly old man was chuckling as he flew over the snow-covered world. And even though he knew it was just his imagination, he thought he could hear the familiar words echoing in the air.

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”

#ficandchips #ten x rose #doctorroseprompts #31 days of ficmas #reunion fic #tony tyler #jackie tyler #pete tyler #happy endings #ahhhh #i really love this story #i hope you do too #fic by Nancy

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