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whateversawesome · 1 year

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I really hope this doesn't come off as hate, I just wanted someone else's input - I feel like the eden kids have become more of the main characters than the forgers have. I know we just finished an important arc with them but it feels as though every other chapter is centered around them. We haven't had a chapter with the forgers together since Anya got rescued and that wasn't even a whole chapter. it feels as though the manga's shifted from its core (a spy dad, assassin mom, esper child and a dog that can see the future). I guess this could just be because of the update schedule though making everything feel slow paced and some plotlines random at times. Again, I hope this doesn't come off as hate. I still love and enjoy the story, and was curious to hear the opinion of another.

Hi! Thank you for reaching out. Your question doesn't come as hate at all and it'll be my pleasure to answer it :)

Your feelings and frustration are totally valid. A lot of us got into Spy x family because of the Forgers (and some of us Twiyor specifically) and miss seeing them. So, let me tell you how I see things both as a writer and as a reader.

As a writer: I'm not worried about where sxf is going because I've written plenty of stories and I can see the seams (meaning the construction of the story). However, I know not everyone is a writer, so this illustration may be useful for everyone:

The beginning of sxf had a great exposition of the characters and the story. This is the part where the readers fall in love and get attached to the characters.

I know it's been going for 79 chapters, but in my opinion, we're barely leaving #2 (conflict) and entering #3 (rising action). Endo set the conflict and not quite started the action yet. So we're just entering the middle of the story.

In my experience (both as a reader and writer), when the middle of the story begins is not the most exciting part and, depending on the story and author, the middle can feel long.

In Spanish, the middle a story is called "nudo", which means "knot". This is where the story gets tangled and very complicated. In fact, the more complicated, the better, because it means that it'll be hard to resolve and the stakes will be high during the climax.

The purpose of the middle of a story is to point towards the climax. This is where the author has to build the tension to get there, where the conflict gets thicker and thicker.

Now, has Endo been doing this?

YES.

Evidence of this are the whole bus kidnapping arc: where he told us how the SSS and government behave towards its citizens (even when they're children). THIS will be key in the story. And the latest 78 doggie competition chapter: where Handler and Twilight literally talk about the main plot of the story.

This reminds us the main plot is still about Donovan Desmond and Project Apple. This doesn't seem random to me. And the fact that we've gotten so much Eden makes me think that Eden is key in the main plot too.

As a writer, his job is to point out to the main plot and head to the climax. If he's been doing that with Eden chapters, that means that's where we're going.

The way I see it, Twilight, Yor, and Anya (Spy, Assassin and Esper) are the main characters, but not the only characters. Because of its cuteness and wholesomeness, it's easy to think of Spy x Family is a simple story about a Spy who adopts a little girl and falls in love with an assassin.

It is not.

This is a monster of a story.

Think of it as a big tree. Stories like this have many branches (secondary characters and side stories) that are connected to the main plot and serve to lead the plot towards the climax. Examples: Lord of the Rings, Fruits Basket, Attack on Titan.

My point is that in these Monster Stories, the plot may not always focus on the main characters, but in the end, everything, every little branch and side story came together to let the main characters rule the story and get to that explosive climax.

And I believe that's what Endo is doing here.

Is it the most exciting thing in the world right now? No.

Sometimes development can feel like a total drag; especially if chapters come out every two weeks and we're all eager for more.

As a writer, I recommend patience. We'll get there, it's just going to take some time.

Now...

As a reader (and a fan): *Big sigh* Yes, I miss the Forgers (and Twiyor) so much and every time there's a new chapter I feel sad we didn't get any interaction.

Yes, I want to see the romance, the pinning, the angst, the first kiss. ALL of it!! At least give me the Forgers shenanigans...

But there is no point in getting upset about it.

Yes, we're kind of in a dry spot in the story, but personally I'm still enjoying it. I'm so grateful for all the good friends I've made thanks to Spy x family. On top of it, I've been having tons of fun writing fics analyzing, and discussing things with other fans.

There's so much talent in our fandom and during this dry season, it's the fans with their gorgeous fanarts and awesome stories what is keeping the fandom engaged and happy. There's no need to feel bored while we wait for the Forgers to come back (and Twiyor to kiss!), let's wait together. Let's have fun together!

One last thing worth mentioning...

I've said it before. It's okay to take a break. There is absolutely no hate in this advice: If the story is becoming too frustrating, if it's detrimental for mental health, if it's becoming more of a bother than a source of happiness, it's okay to take some time off. It's okay to get into other things, other stories and other fandoms. And it's okay to come back after a while to check up on any progress and it's okay to move on too.

Thank you so much for the ask. I wrote a long answer because, as you can see, I'm a big fan of stories and writing.

#thanks anon!#thank you for the ask!#spy x family #spy x family analysis #spy x family manga #ask

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rathologic · 1 year

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it's frustrating because aglaya is already villainized by nearly all the characters in patho2 (yulia as the slight exception), and the point of this is that you, the player character, are asked to approach this fellow person trapped in an impossible situation with grace instead. the Haruspex, a character who is fundamentally about extending his love to everyone in the game (as described by the devs!) has the ability to extend love, platonic or not, to her! logical! so seeing people talk about how much they hate her IN PATHO2 is like extremely jarring.

aglaya never does anything to harm the player in p2 (boring choice, but that's not my point); the closest thing would be that she causes fan favorite badgrief to have a lasting personal crisis. but a lot of the violent hatred towards her instead seems to stem from her flirting with you...? and it's always visceral want to see her dead kind of hatred. sorry people can't handle a woman in a position of authority speaking somewhat impolitely to them but the "flirting" part does really bug me so I'll get into that

the single major change p2 implemented to aglaya's story was that the Haruspex can meaningfully be on her side by agreeing to her request to leave the town together. it's weird to see that disparaged by fans for her using the imagery of romantic attachment, while the player's never forced to use the same imagery in return. the escape's not "you instantly fall in love with each other and run away" it's about a way of reacting to the fate imposed on both of you by the narrative: pathologic 2 simply describes fate through the lens of romance, re: nara and the brides, re: "a fate like a good wife, emshen... your wife" (re: the option to call aglaya your wife on the train).

& there's a fascinating meta aspect to the fact she can tell the haruspex as the player has the ability to make this choice, to be the only person in the world who Could not villainize her, and maybe even help her under an extremely short time limit. her expressing attraction to the haruspex (through a reflection, even) is for once not a weird misogyny thing but a reasonable way of parsing her feelings and needs into something that you might listen to! it fits within the societal framework expected in the game, and adds a discussion of romantic love to p2's dissection of the ideal of love in general; "discussion" meaning it is given to the player to see how you feel about it, and remains open-ended.

then she doesn't even make it and replaying you Know she'll never even make it which lends all the more meaning to choosing to flee with her. since patho2 is a game at its core about symbolic choices representing love + what it means to the player to choose to undergo challenges for no extrinsic rewards! her whole quest is a microcosm of key themes of patho2 (aka: "udurgh"), and potentially, a moment of respite and genuine friendship during one of its most stressful phases. if someone felt strung along by it I have great news for them about the final impact of every other quest in the game

and furthermore the connections she sees between herself and the haruspex are genuinely there. they're both trapped in the game they both will cease to exist after it and meaning is derived, both for the player and for her ("touch me with your words"), from choosing to fight the inevitable however briefly instead of just submitting to death - and love being the only driving force that can motivate that choice. how did you miss the point about love when it's the only point the game ever makes.

#p2 spoilers #aglaya lilich #pathologic #you see the antidote to mean and pointless complaint posting is... detailed and meaningful complaint posting instead. well enjoy #pathologic 2 #only sort of due to my point being you're not forced into it! but it may as well go in my tag ->#aglayartemy

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mythsandheather · 6 months

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I've been pretty curious about the LO Critical side. I'm asking genuinely but what are the reasons why LO has such a strong anti Fandom.

Do people not like it? I was curious because it seems like a lot of lo critical/anti lo blogs seem to enjoy certain aspects and characters. Is it the author people don't enjoy?

Like I said I'm really being genuine. I think people have the right to have like their own critical space for a free webcomic. It's just interesting because it's like. This Fandom has a second Fandom of people who seem to hate the comic.

The anti community for any fandom is sure to be a complex place that’s usually, in my experience, more built on pain and disappointment than anything else. Pain because something important to you no longer provides comfort, maybe even perpetrates harmful themes for your own personal experiences, and disappointment because this is something you used to love and you wish could be better.

There’s two parts of the anti community for LO. There’s one part that, as you said, still holds some affection for the series, for memories attached to it and for some characters. There’s also another part that, again as you said, straight up just hate it.

I’ll briefly touch on the first part. They can see so clearly how LO could be infinitely better and that’s frustrating. They can see all the flaws they didn’t notice or didn’t want to see before and are exasperated by why it’s allowed to continue this way. Let’s not forget that a significant number of LO’s critics are people who were young teens and read it in their formative years without realising what they were being so carelessly exposed to.

With that realisation, there’s a level of anger and horror at learning what was put in front of them, marketed as safe and heavily promoted at every turn, and it’s only gotten worse over time. That must be an absolutely gut-wrenching thing to feel over something you loved once.

So in that sense, you’re correct; a big part of the anger comes down to Rachel herself and her choices.

Then there’s the other part of the anti fandom, the part that just out and out hates it and always has. This is where yours truly fits in.

Now, I was super active on tumblr during 2014-2017, when fandoms like Steven Universe, FNAF and Undertale were at their peak. I had to learn, trial by fire, how to be real critical of any media I consumed. There is certainly a downside to this, I tend to see the negatives of anything I enjoy first and then find positives later. The upside is it’s certainly been one helluva way to improve my media literacy and spot the bs from a mile away.

A lot of people don’t believe when I say I got skeevy, uncomfortable, gross vibes from LO from chapter one, but I did. I don’t know what it was, but it set me off so bad that I couldn’t get past “her butt is shaped like a heart” and never read it again.

Now I’m willing to admit that this part of the fandom, like me, are the way we are because we were never the target demographic for LO.

Therefore, when it came out and got popular, we were the ones who were absolutely baffled and the ones who got dog piled and called every name under the sun by fans for a long time…that is, of course, until a lot of those fans grew up, realised what they were reading and turned on the series.

As I said, the critical side of any fandom is complicated and this is just my two cents.

I could do a much longer post about how fucking angry I am at Rachel personally for the fact she’s from my country, a country who constantly gets ignored, and given this amazing chance that so many of us wish we could have, yet chose to peddle her self insert x celebrity crush jailbait fantasy.

I could talk all day about how physically sickened I am that she’s taken so many aspects of trauma experiences by myself and millions of others and used it as ignorant, glamourised, fetishised shock-material.

I could go on at length about what a racist, misogynistic, homophobic piece of baggage she is and how she’s permanently done damage to another culture while completely misrepresenting ours…but I won’t.

I’ll just draw more mean art of Persephone’s giant lips and Hades accidentally letting the air out of them with his mosquito nose instead.

What’s Rachel going to do? Draw a goofy, technicolor caricature of me in her comic that’ll blend into the background, be only half finished and look like a recoloured Persephone in her otherwise pristine and totally professional looking masterpiece that’s definitely not losing readers? Oh wait—

#antiloreolympus #lo critical #lore olympus critical #lo criticism #anti lore olympus #lore olympus criticism #ooh girl #I had things to say

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kxmpfflieger · 18 days

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Hey, you made me feel sad for your dies-in-every-timeline-TF OC and I would love some more thoughts and lore about her plz. I will fill a cup with my tears if it pleases you

NO THATS NO NEED --

Dumping all my thoughts under the cut cause this might get long! Sorry if the writings feel scattered.

Her name is Wraith, a Decepticon with a motorcycle as an alt mode. She favours stealth above all, so she prefers to fight with swords rather than blasters.

I havent finished all the IDW comics so I can confidently only speak on her Prime lore -- She's on board the Nemesis practically from day one. Wraith gets pushed around a lot (mostly by Starscream) because she hates practically every word that comes out of his mouth. She's very much like a stubborn teenager so anyone trying to command authority over her just gets on her bad side. Despite Megatron, who has managed to earn her respect (also cause yk. hes scary)

Other bits of lore include

shes besties with Knockout and Breakdown, mainly beacuse they're also land vehicles like her (shes incredibly emotionally avoidant so even this bit of friendship is an achivement).

She's close to Soundwave mostly by proxy of my other oc Pulseblade fussing over her like a mother (I ship Pulse and SW so thats how he ends up being tied to Wraith)

Airachnid freaks her the fuck out. I think TFP Starscream is very "bark and no bite", whereas Airachnid really isnt that, so where threats from Screamer dont really do anything to Wraith, when they come from Airachnid she's more likely to take them seriously.

Wraith has a bad history with being abused and mistreated from the war back on Cybertron, which has caused all kinds of problems w emotional attachments (and behavioural issues)

Starscream ends up killing her at some point in the series. He makes it seem like an accident and blames it on the Autobots. Pulseblade takes it the worst out of everyone, even if she's comforted by Knockout on the matter (this is sometime after Breakdown is also killed). I think this will lead Pulseblade to defect, essentially giving up on the war. In my head she somehow finds out Wraith was assassinated by Starscream (maybe by Rachet, since they used to be coworkers at some point so she'd be more inclined to believe him) which will then lead her to become an Autobot.

Because Wraith dies in Prime she'd also not show up in RiD, although Pulse does make a return. I think it'd be fun for Wraith to haunt the narative in some way. Wraith is also dead in Earthspark, and Shattered Glass. ES Megatron and Bee remember her fondly so maybe her memory gets to inspire the Terrans or something.

I REALLY LOVE THE TERRANS every bit of me wants Wraith to be around for Earthspark for the character interactions but ooouhghghh omg i love angst :(( idunnoo

i just generally am fascinated by the post-war cybertron narrative, which is why im debating her place in earthspark and i want her alive in the idw continuity

#inquiries #transformers oc #THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRYYYY #wraith (oc)#pulseblade (oc)

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my2phetaliaheadcanons · 1 year

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Hello! I was wondering if we could get some platonic yandere headcannons for Sweden and another Nordic of your choosing. Thank you! Don’t feel pressured to answer this if it makes you uncomfortable!

Nah, this doesn’t make me uncomfortable. This is fun for me!

Sweden: Bernard’s silver tongue and parental levels of patience perfectly describe his style. It’s almost like a snake hidden in a garden, except unlike those ground crawlers, he’s not afraid to bask in your light.

He’ll start like England by slithering his way into your life, though his methodology depends on how you met. If you were a tourist, whether it’s his home or another’s, then Bernard is going to play the part of a helpful guide. Going as far as skipping meetings to not only gain information but to solidify your new friendship. If through a random encounter or political event, he’ll use his connections to find a way to attach himself to you.

Once he has stabilized the attachment by becoming a regular part of your life, then the coils tighten. It’s as slow as the Overton window when it comes to isolating you from friends before moving to family. Friends are usually just threatened and made uncomfortable, but should they attempt to remove you from him, then death is in their future.

As a family man, he’s a little more cautious when dividing you from them. If he acts too quickly or harshly it will be easier for you to pick up on, so he relies on turning them against you instead. Carefully he’ll slip in small details about all sides that cause them to fight like starving dogs. When you wince from the feel of their verbal teeth, he’ll be there to tend to the wound. Cooing about how they just don’t seem to care, that maybe he could be a better family than they.

By the time you realize all that he’s done, it’s too late. The amount of guilt you feel for ignoring the damage is what he uses to keep you trapped at his side.

Don’t worry though, he’ll treat you as if you were one of his children.

Denmark: Markell’s view of you is that of one being able to see their favorite character in reality. There is no love, but a desire to become involved in who they are.

Unlike some of the others, Markell doesn’t get involved right away. He’s content with watching and learning about your life, treating each session like it’s the latest episode of his new favorite show. Noting important events and wondering how you can make some mundane things seem so fascinating.

Until you twist your story. Suddenly you’ve picked a lover that he assumes is a heart-destroying douchebag or receive a job offer that takes you from him.

Now, he feels the need to become the author of your life. It starts with subtle, random notes of warning against everything that he hates about your story. If you chose to ignore them then he ups the ante by having his men turn into background characters. They push you in the direction of his choosing.

Any attempts to escape his artistic direction are met with not only imprisonment but the finality of meeting your biggest fan. During that terrifying confrontation, you’ll learn that not only is your agency forfeited but that he’s decided to make himself into a reoccurring character. If you’re smart you’ll let him be a friend that you rely on, spend time with, and let influence your biggest decisions. If not, then he’ll be the villain and do everything in his power to get you to yield.

#2p hetalia #2p headcanons #2p yandere #yandere hetalia #yandere #2p sweden #2p denmark #2p nordic

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withacapitalp · 1 year

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i’m gonna be real here, and i mean this in the kindest way - i loved your wayne & steve series so much when i first read it, and i just stumbled on it again and saw it was still updating and thought ‘now why didn’t i subscribe???’ and then went back to reread and catch up, and then i got to the end of the fifth fic and remembered why - it seemed like you were turning it into one of those fics where billy is a rapist, who abused & assaulted steve, & you didn’t tag that you would be using him as a villain, and in your end notes you said that arc would feature heavily in your next fic, but then i go to that fic and i don’t see any relevant tags or warnings and i didn’t want to read and get even more attached and then be caught off guard, again, by such a harsh depiction of one of the characters without any warning.

idk. i get that a lot of people don’t like billy, and that’s fair and it’s up to everybody which characters they do and don’t jive with. it’s not even like i haven’t read and enjoyed fics where billy is set firmly as a villain or presented in a really 2 dimensional way, because i have. but it’s different when you go into a fic, wanting to read about a certain dynamic and certain characters, and are blind-sided with hate towards another character that you like - especially when the author has decided to depict that character sexually assaulting somebody and implies that the character is a repeat sexual predator. that’s really heavy to be sort of thrown into on a fic where you’re not expecting to see that character at all, you know?

like i said, i really enjoy most of your fics and i think you’re a great writer. i guess i’m just disappointed that i’ve now TWICE had the experience of happily reading your fic and then being blindsided by such a dark depiction of a character who wasn’t even tagged. it’s really disconcerting and upsetting. ao3 has a great tagging system and i wish you’d chosen to use it a bit more effectively, i guess.

looking at your sixth fic in that series, it’s not tagged for domestic violence, sexual assault, anything like that, and it also has no tags for billy, a past steve/billy relationship, or even just a general ‘this fic is not billy friendly’ tag. looking at it i’d never think you’d have any of that sort of content in it, especially because you DID tag for /other/ potentially triggering content, but then in the end notes of the fifth fic you said that the sixth fic would deal very much so with that introduced plot line. it just sucks because i’d probably read it if i didn’t feel so much like i was clicking on a youtube jump scare video.

Long ask and long reply so I'm going to put my thoughts under a read more but TL:DR This is the kind of constructive criticism that is incredibly valid, and I appreciate your courage and energy that you put into writing all this. Also I'm going to get slightly personal here so if you don't want to read that just continue on

This is like, strangely, the fourth or fifth ask I've gotten about A New Perspective today, which has forced me to look at it again and admit to myself why I stepped away from it.

I use my fics to work through a lot of my own personal things. This fic series and the relationship that Billy and Steve have in it is based entirely on a real life relationship I had with an ex. They have an incredibly complicated sexual relationship that is inherently unhealthy for both of them. Not just Steve. Not just Billy. Steve does not think of himself as a victim, he sees himself as the problem. In reality it's both of them. I think Billy Hargrove is a really interesting character, I don't talk about him a lot here because he's really divisive in the fandom, and I don't need to get involved in Billy drama tbh.

For this fic he isn't the villain to Steve, even if he might seem like a monster, and I hope that gets across when I eventually come back to this series. I took a break from it for a lot of reasons, but part of it is needing to reevaluate what I'm getting out of writing it, and if it's healthy for me. I don't know if this is an exceptionally harsh depiction of Billy, it's not necessarily positive, but it does have a lot of different layers. Finding a nuanced way to portray that relationship (and a way to work through my own thoughts and feelings about mine) isn't easy, but I don't really think I write it in a two-dimensional way. I'm not sure if you were saying I did, but if you were, I'll just have to respectfully disagree and leave it at that.

As for tags, well this one I just have to own up and say I'm sorry. I didn't really know how to tag it, because I still didn't know what to consider for them. I don't really know how to consider my own relationship, which is what this is based on. So tagging it with things like sexual abuse or with things like SA...I don't know I just haven't worked through if it would even be considered that?

Regardless of my personal journey with my writing though, there's outside readers who have their own journeys. It's something that you explained in a really clear way, so I appreciate that you took the time to make me see where I was leaving a gap. I don't want people to think it was intentional? I don't think of my fics as a 'YouTube jumpscares' but more as a complicated web of a lot of things I work through in my own mind.

I put the note on my fifth fic to let people know that there would be a lot of complicated stuff going on, and so they could choose to opt out or not, but I understand that wasn't enough. If anyone got triggered or upset by what I wrote, then I do sincerely apologize for that. We talk a lot about curating your own online experience, but to do that you also have to be properly prepared for the experiences you go into. Where I didn't help contribute to that is on me.

As for people who might be worried about the series mentioning this a lot after this? It won't. I work through things in my own way, and I knew I wanted to make this part of Steve's journey, but it's not his entire journey. After this there's just a lot of fluffy parts like the first few one shots again. This was just something I needed for myself.

It's funny, I owe that series a lot, but I honestly just kind of hate it right now.

I don't really know if 'being blinded by hate' is really fair to say about the relationship I'm trying to portray, because I don't hate Billy and neither does Steve. There's love there, and a wish for something better that they'll never get to have, and I hope that you can stick with it to see how it all plays out. I like to think I'm writing for more than just bashing on a character. As for just dropping it in, well I've known what I want to do this entire time, but I can understand where people would come from thinking it was just dropped in.

I'm sorry if you're disappointed, but don't forget, writers are just humans too. We do things and we make mistakes, and this was just one of mine. I think I have everything properly tagged on the series now? If you feel differently though, you're welcome to DM me. I don't bite. I struggle with ao3 tagging in general, so I'm always grateful when anyone suggests tags I should be adding. Someone told me today I should add a genderfluid Steve tag to my latest fic, and I didn't even realize I forgot to.

Anyways. Long and probably too personal, but I figured I wanted to explain best I could. If you don't care about any of that, well, the tags got added.

#personal #Like really fucking personal #I don't really wanna debate about billy #so please no one try to come talk to me about him #tw: sa mention #tw: abuse #tw: unhealthy relationship #tw: domestic violence #but anon thank you for taking the time to write all that #I am....a little overwhelmed currently #Liam speaks up

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mdhwrites · 1 year

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I think Dana explained the betas though, it was the characters in a much different, heavier and darker story, that probably would have leaned more into the idea of witches and… well hell. Since Hieronymus Bosch drew lots of purgatory images. But you cant really do that for Disney. Plus to be fair, you’re meant to be able to throw ideas at a wall (even if they are very unlikely to work) for concept art and then be willing to immediately dump stuff and try new ideas without getting attached.

Side note, while the big selling point for the Betas is that they are edgy or can be used to explore darker subjects, people sometimes just make them borderline evil, or just… actual evil, did you know its very easy to find beta fics tagged with non con and/or underage? Yea. They make Willow actively hateful and sadistic or make the Lumity ship a copy paste of Catradora, aka have them beat the life out of each other but then say uwu owo its not toxic, they love each other.

(seriously i cannot take ship discourse in fandoms seriously, they'll say one ship is toxic or problematic and turn around and ship the same thing but worse.)

For the first point... You're absolutely right. I should not judge for someone exploring different possibilities in concept art because I have no idea when in production that art was made or what the idea for the show was at the time. A LOT of things go through a half a dozen rewrites before the public ever sees them. Frozen apparently came down to the wire for its final plot and it's a miracle we got what we did at all. And even then, I think that movie is still a bit of a mess at times.

Also, fun fact, I have considered an Owl House AU where Luz went to hell instead. In that, Eda would be a demon looking for redemption and her only real ally, but also the only one trying to be real with her so Luz keeps thinking the demons who want to manipulate her are the ones to trust. Amity would have also been an angel undercover and supposed to be giving reports to god about the comatose child who's soul went to hell for some reason when the worst she deserves is Limbo. I could do a concept pitch blog for it but *shrug*

So I think it's personally wrong to conflate canon material with fan material and what is being criticized. Fanworks and the like are one of the safest places to explore different topics or express pain and the like you've had. It also only commonly has one or two eyes on it to say something might be toxic while media on tv usually has a few dozen and the fact that no one catches the red flags is... questionable. Especially why those red flags exist.

(As a note: I can't weigh in on if Catradora is toxic or not because I have watched only one episode of that show. Not even the first. I really ought to though since it seems up my alley.)

WITH THAT SAID, fanfiction authors aren't exactly going to always be respectful about such topics and the like and it took the majority of a year for anyone to tell me people used the Betas for more than murderous, drug addicted psycopaths. Even those people praised a story for having the two get into random fist fights with strangers in a Denny's parking lot so... Yeah. I'm not going to say the characterization of the Betas in the fandom is the best, or their use for that matter.

With all that said, I feel like the nicer Amity has become, and the more the two have come closer and closer to their Beta designs, the less I see of the Betas. Even now, I see lot less blood smears and sadistic grins and a lot more "It's just a normal Lumity picture except a different design." These aren't criticisms really but more just me ruminating on the fact that I think the fandom lost a lot of people who liked the edgier possibilities because of how poorly the show handled its own edge.

As for me as a content creator, have I ever considered using the Betas? I mean, I have for a one off or two, notably a one off where Luz is a dragon and Amity the willing sacrifice to her, but a one off can be hard to capture anything really interesting about them. I'd say I've only had one idea where I maybe wanted to use the Betas and that idea is a Noir Mystery? (It's complicated) story where Amity is a brothel owner in part to make her mom mad, Boscha is both bouncer and stripper for said brothel and dating Amity and Luz is a detective but not super gritty or the like. More Columbo (from what I hear, haven't seen it myself) than normal pulpy fiction Noir types. Also her detective style would lean a lot more into reading people and connections than forensics.

Another story I could do a concept pitch blog for since god only knows when or if I'll ever get to it. That idea is WAY more fleshed out than the going to hell one though.

But yeah, the betas are fine in my opinion to exist and mostly fine in how the fandom uses them because... I mean, if you don't like what they're being used for, just don't consume it. It's not necessary AT ALL to be a part of the fandom and I think a lot of fandoms really need to learn to chill about content creators creating content they don't like.

I don't think people realize the sorts of spaces they're creating within their own fandom because of that or the damage to their show's popularity either. It's a complicated topic and one I've had to give a lot of thought as, well... Ex-erotica writer, remember? And I've still done one erotic story for TOH too, even if it's aged up.

#Betas TOH #The Owl House #Rambles

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shazzeaslightnovels · 1 year

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Broken

Author: Touki Yanagimi (Author of Taimadou Gakuen 35 Shiken Shoutai)

Illustrator: Zerogo Iwamoto

Label: Fantasia Bunko

Release Date: 20 August 2022

My Score: 3/5

The setting of this dark fantasy revolves around Yggdrasil, the tree that gives the world it’s light. One of the kingdoms of this world created 7 heroes, warriors who absorbed the fruits of Yggdrasil and gained mass power as a result. One day, Yggdrasil turned rotten and the world fell into darkness. Some people lost their sanity and became little more than beasts and the heroes went berserk. The story takes place 10 years after “the end of the world” as we follow Ioria. She’s the believed-to-be-dead princess of the kingdom that created the heroes. She was close to the heroes and was attacked by them during the end of the world. Her mother and older sister died and her younger half-sister betrayed her and left her in a ditch for dead. Now, Ioria is a darkness walker who can get close to the darkest parts of the world without losing her sanity. In a desperate situation, she is rescued by Igor who has spent the last 10 years protecting his country from the rotten beasts. He mistakes her to be his lost princess Fleiria and swears to protect her. Ioria does not correct this misunderstanding and instead takes advantage of it to further her own goals: to put the heroes who still rampage the world to rest. They join the team being put together by Celestius, the current queen and Ioria’s traitorous sister, to take down one of the heroes.

This is a dark fantasy with a lot of characters and action. Sadly, it didn’t fully work for me as I didn’t care that much for the characters, especially those who weren’t Ioria or Igor, so I didn’t care much for their long battle scenes with narration on their backstories. There’s also a lot of deaths and those weren’t very impactful. There was never any mention of the characters after they died so they just felt like they were there for shock value. There are a couple of characters who are built up before their deaths but they aren’t mentioned after them and they weren’t in the colour group illustration so when they were introduced it was pretty obvious that they were going to die so there wasn’t much shock value there either, though it was pretty brutal.

I think the book did succeed with it’s two lead characters though. It took me a while to like them but I was surprised by how attached to them I became by the climax. I also quite liked the writing style and how the flashbacks were done. It was really good at drawing me into the scenes. Yanagimi wrote in the afterword that this was something that they wrote because they wanted to and they weren’t expecting for it to get published and it shows. There’s a lot of love that went into crafting the setting and the two leads and I could tell that they cared about the side characters and giving them each a distinct introduction and backstory and it made me like the volume more as a result.

This book ended up being just okay for me. I didn’t hate it but I was sad that I didn’t fall in love with it either. I don’t know if there will be a second book. With the set up of defeating all of the other heroes, there’s certainly more material there, but the ending felt conclusive for it’s two leads and I don’t think it’s crying out for a sequel and I’m not sure I would read one. It feels like it works well enough of on it’s own and the series seems like it would get stale after a while. But hey, I could have said the same thing about Taimadou Gakuen and Yanagimi pulled it off there so who’s to say.

If you like dark fantasy and a cast with lots of overpowered characters with unique abiltiies and a story that features a lot of action, I’d definitely recommend this one.

#Broken #touki yanagimi #Zerogo Iwamoto #fantasia bunko #2022 releases #december 2022 #3 stars

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quoteablebooks · 1 year

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Genre: Fantasy Romance, Adult, Fiction

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Trigger Warning: Death, Sexual content, Violence, Death of parent, Grief, Pregnancy, Animal death

Summary:

Hart is a marshal, tasked with patrolling the strange and magical wilds of Tanria. It’s an unforgiving job, and Hart’s got nothing but time to ponder his loneliness. Mercy never has a moment to herself. She’s been single-handedly keeping Birdsall & Son Undertakers afloat in defiance of sullen jerks like Hart, who seems to have a gift for showing up right when her patience is thinnest. After yet another exasperating run-in with Mercy, Hart finds himself penning a letter addressed simply to “A Friend”. Much to his surprise, an anonymous letter comes back in return, and a tentative friendship is born. If only Hart knew he’s been baring his soul to the person who infuriates him most – Mercy. As the dangers from Tanria grow closer, so do the unlikely correspondents. But can their blossoming romance survive the fated discovery that their pen pals are their worst nightmares – each other?

*Opinions*

This book was very highly hyped when it came out, with a lot of people saying it was a fun fantasy romance. The word “cozy” was also attached to this, but I will get to my feelings about that in a minute. One of the reviews I saw also said that this was inspired by “You’ve Got Mail” which added to her enjoyment since that was one of her favorite movies. I have never seen the movie so that really didn’t tell me much, but I was excited to see what everyone else was buzzing about.

I am a very new romance reader, so I am not going to talk about how this book fits into the genre, I am just going to talk about how it made me feel. I like Mercy and Hart as characters, as well as the supporting characters, but I felt like the two of them getting together was a little rushed. I get it, they were both denying that they liked each other the whole novel, but to go from eating cake to having sex when Mercy doesn’t know that he is the letter writer showed the author moving them around more than I like. That being said, I like the dual POV to see the relationship from both sides as well as them both having lives that didn’t revolve around the romance. I liked that Mercy was able to save the funeral home (mostly) without Hart’s assistance. Hart’s storyline was a bit more wrapped up with Mercy, but his mentoring Pen was sweet and had a lot of heart as did reckoning with the memory of his mentor Bill. I appreciated that everyone’s lives didn’t revolve around the romance.

I do have to say that I felt as if the reason for the “hate” in this hate-to-love romance felt a little weak in my opinion. One bad encounter and some misplaced words doesn’t really make four years of snipping at each other and thinking they hate one another makes a lot of sense. I know they are covering up that they are attracted to each other, but I wasn’t buying it. However, this along with one extremely cringy sex scene were my only real gripes with the story. Well, that and the final part of Hart’s lineage, which felt rushed and again showed the author moving the characters around. However, when the basis of the angst in the relationship doesn’t make a lot of sense, that is a pretty big issue.

Now I didn’t take any star rating off for this, but I would not say that this book was cozy in any sense of the word. There is far too much death, gore, and zombies for this to be cozy. I don’t want to spoil the ending of the novel, but the last third alone knocks any idea of cozy out for me. While there is a kindness to this story, from the ever-forgiving Mercy and her reverence for giving the dead their final rites, to the loving family dynamic of the Birdsalls, to Hart's reluctant found family, it was all infused with a feeling and warmth. However, the plot of this story and how the none romance parts played out is not cozy. If you are expecting low stakes, you will be disappointed, but this is a romance and plot with a lot of warmth.

Grief is a huge part of this book and I think that it is handled very deftly, without bringing down the playful nature of the novel. The fantasy elements, such as the human soul residing in the appendix, stopped me from getting wrapped up in the actual process of funeral rites. Mercy says that she salts bodies and wraps them in a special cloth and I just go with it. The whole theme of the book is the meaning of living life, the meaning of death, and what that all means to the people who are left behind. As someone who works in a field that results in me having to confront death and comfort those who have lost those they loved, I appreciated the delicate and almost hopeful nature that Bannon used to approach the subject.

Overall, I enjoyed this novel and say that it is a fun fantasy romance. I will have to sit with it a little longer to see if it is something I’ll buy so I can read it again, but I think I will. If nothing else, it is a very pretty book to have on the shelves. I would say that this is a warm novel, though no cozy, and one that deals with death in multiple ways. I am giving this a 3.5 star rounded up to 4 on Goodreads.

#the undertaking of hart and mercy #megan bannen #3.5 out of 5 stars #booklr #book review

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thunderslumbers · 2 years

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Love Languages || Tanjiro Kamado, Zenitsu Agatsuma, Kyojuro Rengoku, Tengen Uzui

warnings: N/A

word count: 1017 words

author's note: I love analyzing characters, so maybe I'll do another one with attachment styles hehe

"You know I love you, so let me into your heart, do you really love me?" me and your mama, childish gambino

Tanjiro Kamado's love languages are...

-> Acts of Service

Tanjiro wants nothing more than to make you happy, even if it means picking up a few more chores around the house. He really doesn't mind, and it puts him at ease to know you're relaxed and content.

He wakes up bright and early to make you breakfast, take care of you when you're sick, and he does the chores you don't like doing. Along with many other things he can do for you!

-> Quality Time

Tanjiro likes being by your side, whether taking some extra time while getting ready in the morning or staying awake at night and talking until you two get sleepy, he wants to be close to you.

He'll slow his pace when walking with you, taking your hand in his as he stops and admires the scenery (and you) He enjoys baking with you, making sweet treats filled with love as you two make idle conversation, He loves cuddling you and talking, feeling your breath on his neck when you talk about the latest events in your life.

Zenitsu Agatsuma's love languages are...

-> Physical Touch

Zenitsu is very, very touchy. He grabs at your fingers and at your clothes, he subconsciously keeps close to you in fear of losing you. He likes to touch your skin, rub his fingers over any scars or blemishes. He hugs you when he wakes up, when he's happy, when he's upset, after a mission. Even when he's aching and hurt.

He loves cuddling, big spoon, little spoon, it doesn't matter (as long as he can reach to kiss you) he'll snuggle up to your chest to hear your heartbeat and if you run your hand through his hair he'll be in ecstasy. He loves holding your hands and kissing each knuckle.

-> Words of Affirmation

Zenitsu is really self-deprecating, he hates himself for being so cowardly, but when you voice that you love him, affirm it's okay to feel fear, encourage him to try new things, he realizes that he's worthy of love. He never wants you to feel what he feels, so he constantly tells you his feelings for you, vocalizing his affections with a blush on his face.

When you tell him you love him, especially when it sounds so warm and tender he tears up. He's eternally grateful to have found you. He snuggles up to you and holds you tightly, whispering how much he adores you. He'll interrupt himself with small pecks to your face and lips but he always continues on with his words.

Kyojuro Rengoku's love languages are...

-> Words of Affirmation

Kyojuro adores showering you in praise and compliments, cheering you on even with the most simple tasks. He likes to wax poetry on your beauty, your strength, and all the other wonderful features you have that he could speak for hours about. At night though, when you're settling for bed his words are soft and gentle, comparing his love for you to the great depth of the ocean.

He often brags to the other hashiras about you, whether or not you're there. He thinks he's blessed to have someone like you in his life, and he's never ashamed to state it out loud to anyone who'll hear. He'd shout his love for you from the rooftops if you asked. He's deeply affected by any words of affirmation from you, it impacts him a lot. With the death of his mother and the rejection from his father, he rarely hears words of encouragement or an "I'm proud of you." from anyone dear to him. You'll see the corners of his smile falter, and you'll see a profound expression on his face when he looks at you.

-> Quality Time

With his duties as a hashira, he savors each and every moment he spends with you. Even if it seems small and menial he dedicates the smallest things to memory. If you were busy with your own things he'd be content to watch, seeing you so focused on something captures his attention like no other. One of the things he enjoys the most is resting with you, being close to each other physically soothes his soul.

Whenever he comes back to the Rengoku estate and sees you doing things around the house, or even resting outside and reading something, he always goes to you first. Even if he's exhausted and sore, the first thing he'll do is spend some time with you alone to talk. He loves it when you spend time with him while unwinding, taking a bath together, cleaning a room, and even going out to shop hand in hand.

Tengen Uzui's love languages are...

-> Gift Giving

He loves giving you extravagant clothes and accessories. With all the money he earns as a hashira he ensures himself, you, and his spouses live luxuriously and flamboyantly. Fine silk, intricate cloth, glittering hair pins, earrings, rings, bracelets, you want it? name it and he'll buy it for you.

He has a soft spot for handmade crafts though. When he comes back from a stressful mission, you're there with a little trinket in hand he finds himself being a little more indulgent and hugging you tighter than usual. Any handmade clothes gifted to him are worn until they have holes in them, the cloth being a piece of you that stays with him even if he's not next to you.

-> Physical Touch

One thing I'll say, Tengen is unashamed when it comes to PDA. He'll openly have a hand rested on your waist, he'll playfully pinch at your skin while eating dinner, he'll have his hands inching lower and lower down your back while he kisses you in the middle of a street. He's the type of guy to slap your ass as you walk away, whether you go and slap his is up to you though ;)

Cuddle piles with your spouses are a must. Even if it means Tengen picking all four of you up and dropping you on the bed you'll stay and huddle up to him. Staying close physically when Tengen is home is always important. It's the small things that matter too, a hand on his arm when cooking together, grabbing his hands and intertwining your fingers together as you share some good news, or a gentle caress when he's upset.

#planeto🪐#rené.writing #rené.fluff #x reader #headcanons #tanjiro kamado #zenitsu agatsuma #kyojuro rengoku #tengen uzui #tanjiro kamado x reader #zenitsu agatsuma x reader #rengoku kyojuro x reader #uzui tengen x reader

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lacontroller1991 · 3 years

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Burnt Skies (Rick Flag x Fem!Reader)

@h-hxgirl

Requested by Anon: Saw this captain boomerang fanfic where he finds she's pregnant while they're on mission, I was wondering if you could maybe do something similar for Rick

Author's Note: He would be so protective of the reader fr fr, also this is gonna be angst angst angst so just beware

Warning: Death, pregnancy, language, blood, major character death, spoilers

“Hey (Y/N), you ready to go?” Rick’s voice echoed through the room before he halted, seeing you on the floor, head in the toilet.

“Yeah, give me a minute,” you replied weakly, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand and flushing the toilet.

“Are you sure? Are you feeling alright?” He asked, rubbing your back as you looked up at him with a small smile.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’ll meet you there,” nodding his head, he walked out the door with guns strapped to his body on his tac vest. Looking at your reflection, you noticed a slight greenish tint to your face. Ignoring the wave of nausea, you made your way out of the base and to the plane. Walking up the ramp, you took a seat next to Rick who looked at you with concern in his brown eyes.

“Baby, maybe you should sit this one out. You aren’t looking too hot,” he whispered in your ear as you brushed the notion off. After all, you did have a really bad gut feeling about this mission.

“I’m here. I’m going,” you stated firmly as he looked you over one more time before shrugging his shoulders, knowing it was of no use to argue with you.

----------

The plane ride was hell. With the criminals being loud and Harley’s non stop chatter accompanying your periodic bouts of nausea, you were ready to get the hell off of the plane and right into combat.

“Alright guy, get ready to drop,” Rick shouted as the cargo door opened to reveal water beneath you. Once he gave the signal, you jumped into the cool water and began to swim your way to the mainland, waiting for the rest of the team to catch up to you. After everyone, save for the Weasel, had made it to the shore, you glanced over to your boyfriend who was laying next to Harley.

“Hey guys, it’s me. I’m the guy who called you and I brought my friends,” Blackguard shouted into the open, raising his hands while ignoring the shouts coming from the rest of the team and your boyfriend, Waller’s distant cursing ringing in your ear. Next thing you know, there was gunfire in every direction and things went to chaos. You quickly sought shelter behind a rock and shot off a few rounds into the woods, hoping to take down some of the Corto Maltese soldiers. “(Y/N), watch out,” Rick shouted at you as you turned to see what he was talking about, but it was too late before a large piece of debris from one of the trees knocked you out cold.

You woke up to machines attached to your body. Feeling the bile rise in your throat, you tried to get out of the restraints and look for a place to dump the contents of your stomach. Suddenly a pan was placed in front of you and that was all you needed to release the bile. Groaning at the light, you looked around the room and was surprised to see a cleanish room which plenty of nurses occupied.

“Ah good, you’re awake,” a voice commented as a rough hand pulled your head back, forcing you to look up at one of the generals you were tasked to take out.

“What the hell are you doing to me?” You asked, squirming your body against the bed, trying to loosen some of the restraints.

“Mi amore, we are treating you. Seems you have caught a parasite,” he replied before summoning the nurse over to you, carrying a plate of food and some juice, “you’re government must really be struggling if they’re sending pregnant women into the field,” he mentioned as your blood ran cold.

“That’s impossible,” muttering to yourself, your head went fuzzy at the concept of you being pregnant. With Rick’s kid.

“On the contrary, when we brought in your friend and you, we noticed certain things,” motioning down to your stomach only brought awareness to the fact that you were practically naked in a room full of the enemy.

“Let me go,” you pleaded, pulling your arms as much as you could.

“I think not,” he replied before nodding to one of the nurses who moved to turn on a machine and attach it to your head. Screams of agony soon left your lips, blocking out the sudden spurts of gunfire in the halls.

----------

Harley laughed maniacally as she gunned down multiple soldiers, enjoying the way they were dropping to the floor. She needed to get out of there. She needed to find the others. After the last one dropped to the floor, she moved toward the door before hearing a piercing scream echo down the hallway.

“Sounds like someone’s having fun,” she ran her tongue against her teeth before skipping toward the scream. Slamming open the door, she raised the guns in her hand, ready to fire, until she saw you laying on the table surrounded by nurses.

“No one messes with Flag’s girl,” she muttered to herself before unloading the magazine in the room. All of the nurses slinked to the ground, covered in a pool of their own blood. Rushing over to you, Harley unstrapped the restraints and head piece before taking out the IV and looked for your clothes.

“Where the hell are ya clothes?” She asked, searching high and low before she found a bag filled with your bloody uniform. Helping you sit up, she noted the way you looked super frail but practically glowing at the same time.

“Harley,” you whispered out to her before passing out on her shoulder. “Awww, this would be really cute if not for the circumstances,” she stated out loud to herself, peering out of the window and seeing a guy in a helmet run across the street with Flag. Wait a minute, Flag! Running out the door, she ran around the corner before stopping in front of the two men.

“Hiya guys! What’s up?”

“We’re here to save you, is (Y/N) with you?” Rick asked with hope in his voice as Harley nodded, wrapping pale fingers around his wrist and dragging him back inside and through the pile of bodies she had claimed. At the sight of you, Rick ran to your side and hugged your limp body.

“What’s wrong with her?” He asked, fighting the tears that were beginning to surface.

“Don’t worry puddin’, she’s just asleep,” shrugging her shoulders, she left the room as you stirred, fluttering your eyes open.

“Rick?” You questioned as he rapidly nodded his head, placing kisses all along your face.

“Thank God you’re ok. I thought I lost you.”

“Rick, the doctors found something,” memories of the conversation you had moments ago replayed in your brain. You’re pregnant.

“I’m pregnant,” you whispered, mind still not comprehending the fact that you were pregnant. After all, you had been infertile most of your life. Avoiding his gaze, you waited for his response.

“How?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m going to be a dad,” he whispered, causing your head to snap up and see a smile play against his face.

“You want this? I don’t know if it’ll carry to term. You know that I’m infertile.” Placing his lips against yours, he pulled you into his arms, hugging you as close as he could to his body. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you kissed back before a throat clearing interrupted you.

“This is sweet and all, but we have a fucking monster to kill,” DuBois stated as you looked up at Rick who smiled.

“Stay here, I’ll come back and get you.”

“I’m not leaving your side,” you replied as he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“You’re pregnant. No way in living hell am I gonna allow you to do this. You’ll stay here and that’s an order,” you and he both hated when he had to pull his rank, but you realized it was necessary in cases like this.

“Just come back to me,” pulling his lips down against yours for what feels like the last time, you encoded this moment into your brain, remembering the way he tasted.

“For you? Always.”

----------

He should’ve known you were going to follow them into Jotunheim. Not only were you stubborn, but you still had that nagging feeling that something was going to happen. Sneaking past the military, you found a window and busted it open with your elbow before entering the building. Landing with a soft thud, you looked around the room and noticed Peacemaker going down a dark tunnel. Running after him, you made sure to stay hidden by the numerous pillars. Peering around the corner, you saw Ratcatcher standing next to Rick, however Peacemaker was pointing a gun at Rick.

“Nobody is saying what they did was right,” Peacemaker stated, hand unwavering.

“They experimented on children!” Rick yelled as more explosions went off in the distance.

“That information gets out and it causes an international incident. Keeping the peace is worth any price, including the life of a hero like yours, sir, so please. Don’t make me do this,” your stomach churned. You knew that Captain America wannabe was no good, and now your love might just pay the price. Suddenly, rocks collapsed all around you, obscuring your view of Rick and Peacemaker.

“No,” you whispered to yourself, picking up rocks and trying to make a hole for you to get your body through. Your efforts became faster the more you heard the two men grunting. After successfully digging a hole big enough for you, you crawled through as you heard something like porcelain shatter and choking.

“You mother fucker,” Rick stated through gritted teeth as you watched in slow motion, Peacemaker’s hand grasping a large shard.

“Rick!” You shouted out before tackling him off Christopher’s body, not getting out of the way soon enough as Peacemaker lodged the porcelain into your lower abdomen. “No!” Rick shouted as Peacemaker threw you off. In the distance somewhere, you heard a gun go off before hands wrapped around your body. “(Y/N)? (Y/N)?” Rick called to you but you couldn’t hear him, your mind venturing off.

----------

The sun lit your face through the blinds, dancing in your eyes and creating a multitude of hues, a warm body pressed against you.

“Morning sweetheart,” voice deep from slumber, Rick rubbed his eyes as he let out a yawn. Stretching in bed before your 5 year old daughter came running into the room.

“Mommy, daddy. It’s Christmas!” She squealed excitedly, waking up the baby that was next door.

“Yeah it is baby, you excited for your presents?” You asked as she rapidly nodded while Rick slid out of the bed.

“I’ll go grab little Digger,” he commented, kissing your forehead and your daughter’s head. Getting up, you went to grab a coffee before the doorbell rang. Moving to open it, you saw Harley’s painted face waiting for you with Nanaue, Cleo, Robert and Abner carrying presents.

“Merry Christmas dollface,” she exclaimed, pulling you in for a hug before running off to see her god daughter.

“Come in guys,” you motioned for them to enter as Rick rounded the corner, your 10 month old in his arms.

“So this is the little guy, huh?” Cleo asked as Sebastian waved a hand at the newborn, earning giggles from the baby.

“Yep, Digger Anthony Flag, meet your family,” Rick lifted up the baby’s arm, making him wave to everyone.

“I’m proud of you guys,” Robert commented, slapping a hand on Rick’s back as everyone shuffled into the living room, Nanaue taking up most of the space.

“Thanks man, it wouldn't have happened without you.”

“Alright, everyone ready for presents?” You asked the room with Harley by your side, Harleen in her arms. Rick placed Digger in Cleo’s arms before walking up to you and bringing you into his side.

“I love you, Mrs. Flag.”

“And I you, Mr. Flag.”

----------

Groaning, you felt an excruciating pain in your abdomen and a feeling of loss?

“(Y/N), baby, you’re awake,” his tired voice resonated in your ear as he leaned down to kiss your forehead, his hand not leaving yours.

“I feel like I got hit by a truck,” you commented as he sniffled, trying to suppress the tears that threatened to escape.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he noted, petting your hair and placing another kiss on your forehead.

“And leave our kid without a father? I don’t think...”, realization dawned on you at that moment. The sudden feeling of loss and the pain in that general area washed over you as you began crying. “Oh God, the baby is gone, isn’t it?” You asked through tears as he let a couple slip down his face, nodding and trying to smile through the pain. Choking back a sob, you turned your face away from him as tears continued to fall.

“Hey, look at me,” he whispered, squeezing your hand. Shaking your head, you refused to meet his hazel eyes, “(Y/N), look at me.” Turning your head, your eyes locked onto his as he continued to smooth down your hair.

“We’re alive. We’re both alive. That’s all that matters,” he replied, crawling into the hospital bed with you and pulling you against his chest as you cried into his shirt.

“What if I never get pregnant again?”

“We will. I’ll make sure of it. I’m done with the fucking task force. Waller can find someone else to puppet. But I’m done. You’re done. We’re gonna get married and have a nice house. I’ll get a new job and we’ll figure it out. I promise.” Kissing the top of your head, he wrapped his arms around you as you calmed down.

“I love you,” you whispered against his chest as he hugged you closer.

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

Author’s Note: Well this was way longer than I intended it to be. But hope you enjoy!!

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feelingsoworn · 3 years

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// dsmp , mentions of torture

i always try to stay completely neutral on the dsmp lore, right, to the point where i'll see two contradicting takes right after eachother and go "oooo, good point good point !!" to both of them. i like to see both sides.

saying this, i'm having immense levels of trouble trying to find concrete reasoning as to why c!dream would stop c!sam from breaking the bell other than the fact he's grown attached to it due to it's connection with c!techno. (implying that c!dream has, indeed, grown attached to him, even to the smallest extent, after he has repeatedly been shown ridding himself of attachments.. that's like, his whole thing, after all.)

like. throwing himself in front of the bell, while sam was mid-swing and already angry at dream? that was a dangerous move on his part - who knows how sam could've reacted by his act of defiance. sure, you could definitely argue that dream already knew sam wouldn't kill him because he's still got the revive book, and could argue that dream knew sam well enough to know he wouldn't be angry enough to hurt him over it, sure, i've thought of that too. but that doesn't stop any other punishments from happening. that doesn't stop it from being a possible contributing factor that leads sam to attack him until he's low, or cutting off his food supply (and taking the stash dream and techno were revealed to have), both very real and threatened possibilities. why would dream risk this over a bell he hated in the first place? a bell that rung continuously for hours as he hit obsidian raw for months straight? what are his motivations to keep this stupid bell???

i don't see how his motivations could be impure or selfish in this scenario. the only person who liked the bell is technoblade. if techno was still there, in the prison, watching, i could 100% see the argument that dream risked saving the bell to get further on techno's good side, which he desperately wants because techno is one of the only people (if not THE only person?) he sees as equal to him (plus, escaping the prison, but that was already guaranteed by dream having the favour over techno). but techno's not there to see this. and, at this point of time, he also views dream positively, and hates authority and the warden, so even IF dream let them take the bell i very much doubt there's going to be even a single negative thought towards dream regarding it. if anything, it'd just make techno angrier towards the prison - which would work in dream's favour.

even the small parts of the scene support the attachment theory, man.

the fact that sam started breaking the bell right after dream mentioned techno would ring it as he worked? they established (re-established?) a connection between techno and the bell for the viewers and then proceeded to show dream first being apathetic towards it "well, that's going to take you a while" (although, that line can ALSO be interpreted as either a snide comment OR dream trying to discourage sam from breaking the bell) to saving it at the last opportunity he can, trying not to make a big scene out of it and swiftly changing the topic. the fact that they made the connection to techno first, intentional or not, lead to me seeing this whole ordeal as some weak sort of symbolism for techno and dream's relationship inside the prison.

you could ALSO argue that dream isn't attached to techno, per se, but the hope that techno brought, and that by saving the bell he was saving the reminder that there is finally, after so long, hope. however, even then my first point still applies - dream is still risking his well being for a physical item, an attachment. one that, in the grand scheme of things, seems awfully useless, and could only be used for sentimental value.

if saving the bell put dream at risk AND the only person who actually cared about the bell wasn't there to experience it & likely wouldn't care too much when told dream saved the bell for him, what else could his motivation be??

so, i truly don't understand c!dream here. this really doesn't fit in with how most dsmp viewers see his character. if anyone, either c!dream antis or apologists, happen to see this - please tell me your thoughts on the scene?? i'm really intrigued.

(also i am so sorry this is so messy it's more of a dump of thoughts, really. also if i have missed something stupidly obvious pls go easy on me </3)

#dsmp #c!dream #dreamwastaken #mentions of torture #pandora's vault #c!techno #c!sam #roleplay

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sleeping-on-cracking-ice · 3 years

Note

Hi, I have an idea for Chishiya if it's okay! He have something going on with Kuina's friend, and after she didn't came back from a game everyone thought that she died, but she actually just left (she didn't want to become too attached to Chishiya maybe?) and 1 month later the militants found her and Chishiya is rather cold toward her because she left him without saying anything. Happy ending if possible, please

Thanks for requesting, here you go. Enjoy! 🥰

Home | Shuntaro Chishiya

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

Character(s): Chishiya (ft. Kuina, Niragi)

Summary: You run away from the beach, but soon were found by the militants again. Chishiya, your closest companion, is mad when you return for not saying anything.

Warning: mention of sexual harassment, swearing, grieving, heavy angst

Word Count: 4.8k

*reader is female

Author’s Note: I’m sorry if the ending is a bit cliché, but I really enjoyed writing this one!

“I’m so sick of this shit Kuina. She’s gone. What the hell do we do now?”

Chishiya and Kuina sat on the top roof of The Beach. Their legs were dangling over the edge, above the groups of people who sang their hearts out over the loud music. They couldn’t be down there themselves, not that night.

“It’s so unfair,” Chishiya grumbled, rubbing his stained eyes with his hands. “I hate how everyone just moves on like nothing happened.”

Kuina sniffled, trying to control her runny nose as she listened to Chishiya’s pained words. “Look Chish, it was going to happen to one of us three at some point, it just happened to be Y/N.” Kuina tried to keep her voice stable, but the occasional voice crack gave away her sadness.

“Yes I know, but it still hurts so fucking bad.”

You hadn’t returned from your game. You hadn’t returned back to Chishiya and Kuina. You hadn’t returned home.

*******

“Oi Y/N! Slow the hell down!”

You heard Kuina yell out to you from down the hall. You laughed at her desperate attempt to catch up while Chishiya walked at his own pace watching you guys.

“Why are we suddenly having a race?! We have all day to get down to the pool!” Kuina called out. You stopped in your tracks and turned around to face her. “I want to get down there before the sun comes out and everyone wakes up! Don’t you want to have it just for us three for a while?”

“I suppose so,” Kuina breathed out heavily.

Chishiya’s lips pulled up into a smile as he watched you too bicker. “Oi you two. Be quiet. People in these halls are still sleeping,” he said.

Kuina turned to Chishiya and pulled a mocking bored face towards him. “Well you’re fun this morning,” she muttered in a sarcastic tone.

All three of you made your way to the pool on the bottom floor of The Beach, tripping and shoving each other playfully while giggling. You hardly ever did this together, because Chishiya always slept until noon, so you were excited about having the pool to yourselves before the sun came up.

When you reached outside, your chatters and the sound of your bare feet on the pavement broke the silence of the night. You hoped that Hatter kept the windows closed to his suite because you knew if you woke him up he would come down and beat your asses for being awake so early.

You looked over towards the pool that was still lit up with underwater neon blue lights from the night before. You’d think that they would shut all the lights off at least to save a bit of electricity, but apparently not.

Kuina had thrown her towel down carelessly on a nearby deck chair and was now chasing after Chishiya, who powered his short legs to try and escape her.

“Chishiya you’re going in the pool! You can’t chicken out forever!” she yelled as she caught up to him and wrapped her strong arms around his waist.

You could tell the years of martial arts training paid off for Kuina as she lifted Chishiya into her arms like he weighed nothing. “Bitch, put me down! I don’t want to go in the pool! Why is that such a crime!?”

You doubled over in laughter as Kuina held the cat-like blonde in her arms, him squirming more violently as she got to the side of the pool.

“Goodbye!” she yelled and dropped him into the pool. His screaming cut off as he was submerged into the water. You walked over and placed your stuff down, listening to Kuina and Chishiya bickering in the background.

It was a shame that you were planning on walking out on these guys. But in a world like this, the bad moments really outweighed the good ones.

“Alright you’re next!” you heard behind you, making you snap out of your short daze.

“Wait, no!” you bellowed as Kuina repeated the same thing she did with Chishiya. This time, it was his turn to laugh at you.

“Jesus christ woman. The fuck got you so lively this morning?” you laughed at Kuina, who gracefully dived into the pool to tease you two.

You felt Chishiya tuck his chin on your shoulder gently, taking you by surprise. “I guess we got to act as happy as we can now. Our five day visa ends tonight.” Chishiya mumbled to you two.

The air around the three of you suddenly became stiff at the mention of the games. You lifted your hand and placed it on Chishiya’s damp hair. “It’s alright, it was a fun and relaxing five days while it lasted,” you said cheerfully.

“Don’t say that like as if you’re going to die,” Chishiya scolded you. “You won’t die, none of us three will.” He was trying to reassure himself that he would come back from his game with you all happy and healthy waiting in the lobby for him. He hoped for that exact reality every time he had to leave you to restore his visa. He panicked even when you were ten minutes later than usual. It was a constant battle with anxiety when it came to caring for you in a world like this.

But unfortunately, while Chishiya was willing to fight against the growing anxiety that came with loving you, you didn’t want anything to do with it.

You and Chishiya have been as tight as two peas in a pod since Kuina introduced you. Kuina and you happened to meet at a diamonds game that was further in the centre of the city which was where you appeared in the game. She was nice enough to take you back to The Beach, because she thought that your intelligence and gentle personality would be useful.

But the plan of using you for Kuina and Chishiya’s own personal gain went out the window when both of them built a strong connection with you. They tried so hard to stop it, but in the end, they decided to make you an addition to their little manipulative games with the others. A mysterious duo became a peculiar trio.

That’s when Chishiya began to notice other things he felt.

He began feeling an irrational attachment to you, always wanting to be around you and always wanting to make sure that you were safe. You began noticing his additional little quirks as well, as soon you both fell for each other, without the other knowing of course.

Kuina obviously knew, as she was incredibly observant. She always kept her mouth shut though, wanting to see the drama play out in front of her. It was entertaining at times.

“You two are cute,” she gushed at you and Chishiya, holding a cheeky smile on her face.

Chishiya tucked his face into your neck to hide his blush, but it only made your heart skip a beat. “Shut up,” he mumbled into your skin.

You sighed heavily as he kept his place there, snaking his arms around your waist. This was honestly normal. The closer you’ve gotten with Chishiya, the less shy he’s been to convey physical affection. You loved and hated it at the same time, because you knew the more he made your heart race, the harder it would be to leave him.

At times you thought you’d rather deal with his cold and untrustworthy personality, like how he was when he first met you. It was easier to dislike him then, but now that his real personality has shown through, you realized how good of a person he actually seemed to be.

Chishiya never became close to someone, because he knew it would be hard to pull away when he needed to use them for his own survival. So he’s just always chosen to keep everyone at a distance.

You on the other hand, you hadn’t fallen down the deep whole of caring fully for someone in this world, but you knew you were about to stumble off the edge.

While Kuina and Chishiya waited to renew their visas, you waited to run away from the stress of waiting for your friend’s potential deaths.

******

You, Kuina and Chishiya trudged down the steps that led to the lobby. Hatter had called everyone to meet there a few minutes ago to prepare for the games. Hearing the familiar bell ring throughout the so-called paradise made your heart weaken. It was calling you to your end, every single time.

The trio of you took your usual place towards the back of the lobby, leaning against the cement walls and looking over everyone’s heads. How weird it felt, that by the time you gathered here next, the number of people would reduce by a couple dozen. It made your stomach sink in remorse. You truly were nothing more than soldiers fighting a war that wasn’t your own.

You looked down at your own feet, beginning to feel guilty about your plan of running away. The people you would abandon, the friends who would miss you. And even they can’t come find you, but you knew it was for the best. For both you and them.

You felt something tickle your hand. You glanced your eyes down to see that it was Chishiya, trying to sneak his hand into yours as Hatter began his booming speech across the crowd. You looked up to the blonde’s face, but he was focused on Hatter. You smiled sadly and accepted his hand into yours, earning a soft squeeze from him.

Kuina placed her head on your shoulder, leaning closer towards you. It was as if they knew, and they were trying to get you to change your mind. You felt tears building up in your eyes, but quickly wiped them away with your hoodie sleeve before anyone noticed.

Damn. You were never going to forget them.

******

Chishiya sat in the leather lounge in the lobby. He had just arrived back from his spades game. Wasn’t too difficult, for him at least.

Only now he was stressing inside, leg bouncing up and down on the carpet quickly. He knew you wouldn’t return for a good while, but yet he always was worried about you. No matter the situation.

Niragi didn’t help the situation. He strolled over earlier with a few of his militant mates and roughed Chishiya up for a bit. He honestly wasn’t in the mood for their antics, so he didn’t fight back much. They eventually got bored and walked away.

There hardly was anyone in the lobby, it was strangely quiet.

Chishiya looked towards the entrance to the lobby where a small group of people just walked in from. He recognized them as the group Kuina was placed with, so he stood up from his seat and quickly made his way over.

He managed to spot Kuina walking by herself at the back of the group. Chishiya let out a relieved sigh and strolled up to her. “Thank god you’re okay,” he said, giving her a short hug. “You too,” she replied.

They walked back over to where Chishiya was sitting beforehand and sat down. “Do you know who Y/N went with?” Kuina asked.

“No idea, I had to leave with my group before hers,” he answered.

They both sat in silence for a while, hearts squeezing in on themselves from tension.

As group after group piled into the lobby and moved to go to the back pool to celebrate their wins. While their hearts and minds were overflowing in joy of surviving, Chishiya’s and Kuina’s slowly became heavier and heavier with grief.

One of the last groups finally came back, being a few hours later than everyone else. Chishiya searched the small crowd for your familiar face, but didn’t see it.

“Kuina,” he started with a tense voice. “Don’t say it,” she immediately cut him off. “Don’t say anything Chish. She’s fine, I know it.”

That became harder and harder to believe the later into the night it got. Soon enough, no one was left in the halls and the lobby, either gone to bed or stayed out in the pool area.

Chishiya didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t feel anything. His body was tired from the constant tensing, the constant anxiety.

He stood up abruptly and looked towards Kuina, who had her head in her hands. He gave her a sad smile, and reached his hand out to help her up. “Come on, let’s go to the roof like old times,” he smiled, fighting the tears building up in his eyes.

*********

When they reached the top of the building after climbing many annoying flights of steps, Chishiya tilted his head back to feel the wind blow around his head. He opened his eyes and saw the galaxy of stars above him. ‘So weird,’ he thought to himself. ‘In a horrible place like this, such beautiful things can still exist.’

Kuina and Chishiya sat on the edge of the roof, feet dangling off the edge. Complete silence took over them. Neither of them knew what to say.

Kuina broke her gaze off the staggering height of the drop below them and glanced at Chishiya. He was staring straight ahead of him, hoodie covering his face so she couldn’t see what he was looking at.

“Chish, are you okay?” Kuina asked quietly, leaning forward to try and see his face. It felt strange to her, having Chishiya be completely silent for a change. Usually he would be making a smartass comment or a teasing joke towards her or Y/N. It was like the happiness in him had drained out.

He didn’t answer for a short moment, but then he turned his head to look at Kuina in the eyes. Kuina was taken back.

Chishiya had pools of tears cascading down his pale face, mixing with the sweat that he still endured from the game. He let out no sobs and no cries. Just dry, empty tears running down his cheeks like doves flying down the edge of a cliff.

“No, I’m not okay,” he muttered to her. “This fucking sucks.”

*******

It had been a few weeks since your death, not that there was a huge difference at The Beach from your disappearance. Everyone carried on like normal, everyone except Kuina and Chishiya.

They became secluded, more than usual. Kuina spent most of her time in the hotel’s gym, trying to distract herself from everything that happened. She wanted to get stronger so she could win games, she knew that’s what you would have wanted.

Chishiya however, he wasn’t taking your death well at all. Chishiya lost his fire, his headstrong attitude and snappy remarks. He kind of disappeared himself, but only his body stayed.

He felt stupid at times. What would he have expected? Of course you died, knowing his luck. He began irrationally thinking, believing that the world took you away because he didn’t deserve someone as warm-hearted as you. He felt cheated almost. It was like the universe had you dangling on a string in front of him, and when he finally had the courage to reach towards you, it yanked you away out of his view.

When he was having particular hard days, he would lie on his bed in his room for hours, not bothering to get up for food or the bathroom. He felt numb inside, he honestly thought nothing would be able to hurt him anymore, because he’s endured the worst of his emotions.

The mirror in his room was smashed, due to his own doing. He broke it a few days after the incident, screaming into the stuffy air of his room and throwing one of his makeshift knives at it. He watched in pain as it crackled and crumbled under the impact, seeing his own reflection fall into a million pieces, much like how he was feeling at that moment.

He had never experienced this kind of hurt before. He always thought other people were being dramatic when they broke down crying after hearing their significant other or friend didn’t make it back to The Beach. He thought that it should’ve been expected, that they shouldn’t be surprised that it happened. But he guessed you never know what another person is feeling unless you experience it yourself.

But god, does he wish he didn’t, because it hurt more than a thousand knives to his cold, stone heart.

**********

One day, Chishiya was standing on the edge of a balcony that looked over the entrance to The Beach. He enjoyed standing up there because he loved the spectacular view of the ocean. It reminded him of his real home, when he used to ride his bike down to the beach with his friends and swim in the water for hours. He missed life when it was so easy for him.

The breeze was cool on his skin, giving him goosebumps. It felt refreshing and somewhat free, a small taste of bliss for him. His eyes were shut as he listened to the crows screech in the distance and the ocean waves hit the shore. The sound of nature rang in his ears, making his endorphins swirl in his brain.

It was a good break every now and then from the usual melancholy emotions that swarmed around him, keeping his happiness locked down in chains. While he was on that balcony, actually breathing fully and normally for once, his demons decided to let loose of the chains that held his sweet happiness trapped.

Chishiya opened his dark eyes and glanced downwards towards the bottom level and saw something that caught his eye.

A group of three militants seemed to have a young woman in their grasp, one of them being Niragi himself. Chishiya watched as they tried hard to hold the smaller person at bay, as she was thrashing around trying to escape.

He frowned, confusion painting across his face. That girl, she looked oddly familiar.

Niragi told the militants to bring her around the side of the building, where a small alley was located beside the entrance. Chishiya knew that’s where the militants dragged people to kill them off, they were planning on killing her.

Chishiya wondered what she did that was so bad. Hatter hardly ever gave the order to kill someone, unless the situation was betrayal or anything worse.

He moved himself along the balcony towards where the commotion below him was occurring. He wanted to hear what they were saying, because who knows what shit Niragi gets up to without Hatter knowing. It seemed a little too suspicious to be dragging someone to their death in broad daylight, especially where everyone could see.

Chishiya heard slight fragments of what they were yelling: “You thought- … run away?!” Niragi screamed in his psychotic voice. “Let go of-...! …could have just left me there!”

Chishiya felt his heart drop. That voice, it was all too familiar. How could he have forgotten what your voice sounded like.

He lifted his head and stared forward in shock. That couldn’t be right, you’ve been dead for weeks!

He thought for a second, trying to come to a possible conclusion with the horrific yells in the background of his mind. How is it possible you could still be alive?

That couldn’t be you, it just couldn’t be. Chishiya shook his head and chuckled. “The fuck am I thinking? Great, now I’m hallucinating. No one told me that was another stage of grief.”

He turned his body to walk back inside to look for Kuina, until he heard the young woman getting attacked yell again, this time, clear as day.

“Chishiya! Kuina!”

That was it. That was definitely you.

Chishiya lifted his legs and began sprinting towards the staircase inside. There was no doubt in his mind that that wasn’t you. The way you said his name was too real to not be you.

He tripped and stumbled down the stairs, almost falling flat on his face on one flight. He had to get there before you were dead, for real this time.

As he pushed his entire body weight against the entrance doors to the hotel, he pulled a small knife out his white hoodie pocket. He had made it out of glass from his broken mirror, considering that Hatter wouldn’t allow him to have his own weapons.

Your screams were much more prominent now, more desperate sounding and more fearful. The sound pierced through Chishiya as he made his way quickly around the side of the hotel.

There you were, being pinned against the wall by two militants while Niragi held the barrel of his rifle against your chest, right over your heart.

Chishiya yelled out, which probably wasn’t the best idea considering his current situation. It was three tall men with guns against a small, frail man with a makeshift knife.

“Chishiya! The fuck you doing here?” Niragi asked with a cheeky smirk on his face. God, Chishiya wanted to punch him so bad.

“Let her go Niragi, you don’t want this to get ugly do you?” Chishiya threatened, holding his glass knife out.

Niragi laughed along with the other two militants. You still struggled against their grip, seemingly more calm with Chishiya distracting them.

“How cute ��ey? Little blonde twink coming to save the love of his life, how sweet of you.” Niragi pressed, pushing his rifle harder against you just to push Chishiya’s buttons.

“If you haven’t noticed Chishiya, she ran away! She never died like you thought she did! She ran away from The Beach, she ran away from you!”

His words were like bullets in Chishiya’s chest. He felt belittled and mocked, he hated it.

“Shut up! She wouldn’t do that!” he yelled frustratingly.

“Oh really?! She wouldn’t?! Then explain why we managed to find her strolling the streets of Tokyo! Not a scratch on her, and she seemed smart enough to run away when she saw us.”

Chishiya’s scowl dropped on his face. He looked at you to see if you would deny it, but you had stopped struggling against the two men and hung your head low, not looking into his eyes.

He shook off the hurt he felt from this fact. He had to focus on getting you away from Niragi before he took time to think about other things.

“Niragi please. Just let go of her, I promise I’ll make it up to you,” Chishiya begged. He felt small, never has he ever begged for something in his life.

“Hmm? How though? I was just about to have some fun with her before I killed her off. Why should I give that up just because you want me to,” Niragi spat at him. Your eyes widened in fear and you thrashed around in the grip that the militants had on you, panicking from Niragi’s threat.

Chishiya thought for a second. He would honestly give anything to bring you over to him. “My cards. You can take credit for every card that I collect for a couple of months. If Hatter or Aguni asks, just say I’m slacking. I’ll take any punishment they throw my way.”

You saw Niragi consider it before lowering his weapon off of your torso. You breathed out heavily in relief.

“Fine, but don’t expect me to do this again. You can’t bribe me with everything you sneaky fuck.” Niragi growled. The two militants let go of you and followed him out of the alleyway and into the entrance of The Beach.

You leant against the wall, staring at Chishiya as he stared down at the ground below him. The air between you two was tense. You could tell he was mad, Chishiya was always silent when he was incredibly angry.

“Chish, I-”

“Don’t talk to me. Just come.”

Don’t get me wrong, he couldn’t have been happier to see that you were alive and well. But the betrayal he felt from the fact that you ran away from him greatly outweighed his happiness.

He walked briskly ahead of you, you didn’t dare walk next to him or too close to him. He was scaring you a bit, and you wanted nothing but to sprint to your own room and hide from the rest of the world.

You were embarrassed and also frustrated you were caught. Trust Niragi and his cocky ass to find you.

Chishiya stopped in front of his own room, opened the door and gestured for you to walk inside. You hesitated before slowly making your way through the door. You hated how tense it was, it was the complete opposite of what you usually felt when you were around Chishiya.

You sat down on his bed, sitting in an awkward position and looked towards Chishiya. It was complete silence as he was frozen at the door, back towards you and holding the door handle harshly.

“What the fuck Y/N?” he mumbled. It was almost inaudible, but you could hear pain in his words, which made you immediately feel guilty.

“What the fuck was that? You ran away!?” he turned and yelled at you, tears building up in his eyes.

You flinched as his loud voice. You had never heard him yell in anger before, usually he kept his calm. You looked down to the ground, feeling your own eyes fill with hot tears. You felt like you were back in high school with your parents screaming at you for running away from home.

“I THOUGHT YOU DIED!” he shouted louder, “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN YOU PUT KUINA THROUGH?! HOW MUCH YOU PUT ME THROUGH?!”

You couldn’t breathe. Pain and suffering dripped off his words like rain on a roof, coming together and creating an atmosphere that held air that was unbreathable. You suffocated on the oxygen, making you choke and cause tears to begin running down your cheeks.

“Why!?” he cried. “Why did you run!? There was no reason, me and Kuina could have protected you if you were too scared! Why did you think that running away was the only option!?” Chishiya stumbled closer to you, almost tripping over his own feet.

You flinched heavily as he placed his cold hands on your shoulders roughly. They were shaking from trying to hold your sobs in.

“WHY DID YOU LEAVE-” “Chishiya!” you interrupted him by snapping your head up to meet your eyes with his. His face dropped as he saw the sadness behind yours, replacing the wonderful and cheerful happiness that once swam in your eyes like dolphins in a sea.

“I l-love you,” you mumbled out between your shaky breaths. “That was the problem Chish. I-I’m in love with you and it hurt too fucking bad to know that you could disappear out of my reach at any moment. I ran because I didn’t want to watch you and Kuina die!”

Chishiya’s own hands shook violently against your shoulders. He gazed into your eyes which were red and puffy from your tears. They were shining more now than they had ever before.

“You don’t have to leave Y/N,” he whispered, still trying to control his own breathing. “I want you here, next to me. Not out there, because when you’re out there, I can’t be with you.”

You nodded and smiled sadly. Chishiya pulled his hand from your shoulder and cradled your face gently. He swiped his thumb over your cheek to get rid of the tears there. “I love you too, but I can’t be without you.”

A grin crept onto your face as you looked into his eyes. You felt safer than ever in his arms, why did you think of ever leaving?

Chishiya wiped his own tears with his hoodie sleeve and put on a happier smile. “You want to know how pathetic I am without you?” he giggled and held your hands in his.

“I almost threw myself off the top of the hotel the night you didn’t come back. Kuina had to tackle me to the ground to keep me away from the edge.” he laughed at himself.

You chuckled along with him. “Imagine if you did! What a shocker it would’ve been if I came back and Kuina saw me alive after you killed yourself because you thought I was gone!”

You both sat on Chishiya’s bed and laughed at each other. You had to do it, humour is best in times of stress and anxiety.

*********

You opened your eyes slowly, only to be met with the blinding light of the sun seeping through the blinds. You hissed and turned your head the other way.

Chishiya chucked at your reaction, making his chest that was underneath your head vibrate. “So cute,” he muttered to himself.

You pushed your face deeper into his chest and breathed in his scent. It felt good to be back with Chishiya. It felt good to be home.

Author’s Note: oKaY so this ended up being a lot longer than expected. Please send in some requests if you have any! 🥰🥰

1K notes · View notes

duckprintspress · 3 years

Text

Ten Things We Hate About Trad Pub

Often when I say “I’ve started a small press; we publish the works of those who have trouble breaking into traditional publishing!” what people seem to hear is “me and a bunch of sad saps couldn’t sell our books in the Real World so we’ve made our own place with lower standards.” For those with minimal understanding of traditional publishing (trad pub), this reaction is perhaps understandable? But, truly, there are many things to hate about traditional publishing (and, don’t get me wrong - there are things to love about trad pub, too, but that’s not what this list is about) and it’s entirely reasonable for even highly accomplished authors to have no interest in running the gauntlet of genre restrictions, editorial control, hazing, long waits, and more, that make trad pub at best, um, challenging, and at worst, utterly inaccessible to many authors - even excellent ones.

Written in collaboration with @jhoomwrites, with input from @ramblingandpie, here is a list of ten things that we at Duck Prints Press detest about trad pub, why we hate it, and why/how we think things should be different!

(Needless to say, part of why we created Duck Prints Press was to...not do any of these things... so if you’re a writer looking for a publishing home, and you hate these things, too, and want to write with a Press that doesn’t do them...maybe come say hi?)

1. Work lengths dictated by genre and/or author experience.

Romance novels can’t be longer than 90,000 words or they won’t sell! New authors shouldn’t try to market a novel longer than 100,000 words!

A good story is a good story is a good story. Longer genre works give authors the chance to explore their themes and develop their plots. How often an author has been published shouldn’t put a cap on the length of their work.

2. Editors assert control of story events...except when they don’t.

If you don’t change this plot point, the book won’t market well. Oh, you’re a ten-time bestseller? Write whatever you want, even if it doesn’t make sense we know people will buy it.

Sometimes, a beta or an editor will point out that an aspect of a story doesn’t work - because it’s nonsensical, illogical, Deus ex Machina, etc. - and in those cases it’s of course reasonable for an editor to say, “This doesn’t work and we recommend changing it, for these reasons…” However, when that list of reasons begins and ends with, “...because it won’t sell…” that’s a problem, especially because this is so often applied as a double standard. We’ve all read bestsellers with major plot issues, but those authors get a “bye” because editors don’t want to exert to heavy a hand and risk a proven seller, but with a new, less experienced, or worse-selling author, the gloves come off (even though evidence suggests time and again that publishers’ ability to predict what will sell well is at best low and at worst nonexistent.)

3. A billion rejection letters as a required rite of passage (especially when the letters aren't helpful in pinpointing why a work has been rejected or how the author can improve).

Well, my first book was rejected by a hundred Presses before it was accepted! How many rejection letters did you get before you got a bite? What, only one or two? Oh…

How often one succeeds or fails to get published shouldn’t be treated as a form of hazing, and we all know that how often someone gets rejected or accepted has essentially no bearing on how good a writer they are. Plenty of schlock goes out into the world after being accepted on the first or second try...and so does plenty of good stuff! Likewise, plenty of schlock will get rejected 100 times but due to persistence, luck, circumstances, whatever, finally find a home, and plenty of good stuff will also get rejected 100 times before being publishing. Rejections (or lack there of) as a point of pride or as a means of judging others needs to die as a rite of passage among authors.

4. Query letters, for so many reasons.

Summarize all your hard work in a single page! Tell us who you’re like as an author and what books your story is like, so we can gauge how well it’ll sell based on two sentences about it! Format it exactly the way we say or we won’t even consider you!

For publishers, agents, and editors who have slush piles as tall as Mount Everest...we get it. There has to be a way to differentiate. We don’t blame you. Every creative writing class, NaNoWriMo pep talk, and college lit department combine to send out hundreds of thousands of people who think all they need to do to become the next Ernest Hemingway is string a sentence together. There has to be some way to sort through that pile...but God, can’t there be a better way than query letters? Especially since even with query letters being used it often takes months or years to hear back, and...

5. "Simultaneous submissions prohibited.”

No, we don’t know when we’ll get to your query, but we’ll throw it out instantly if you have the audacity to shop around while you wait for us.

The combination of “no simultaneous submissions” with the query letter bottleneck makes success slow and arduous. It disadvantages everyone who aims to write full-time but doesn’t have another income source (their own, or a parents’, or a spouse’s, or, or or). The result is that entire classes of people are edged out of publishing solely because the process, especially for writers early in their career, moves so glacially that people have to earn a living while they wait, and it’s so hard to, for example, work two jobs and raise a family and also somehow find the time to write. Especially considering that the standard advice for dealing with “no simultaneous submissions” is “just write something else while you wait!” ...the whole system screams privilege.

6. Genres are boxes that must be fit into and adhered to.

Your protagonist is 18? Then obviously your book is Young Adult. It doesn’t matter how smutty your book is, erotica books must have sex within the first three chapters, ideally in the first chapter. Sorry, we’re a fantasy publisher, if you have a technological element you don’t belong here…

While some genre boxes have been becoming more like mesh cages of late, with some flow of content allowed in and out, many remain stiff prisons that constrict the kinds of stories people can tell. Even basic cross-genre works often struggle to find a place, and there’s no reason for it beyond “if we can’t pigeon-hole a story, it’s harder to sell.” This edges out many innovative, creative works. It also disadvantages people who aren’t as familiar with genre rules. And don’t get me wrong - this isn’t an argument that, for example, the romance genre would be improved by opening up to stories that don’t have “happily ever afters.” Instead, it’s pointing out - there should also be a home for, say, a space opera with a side romance, an erotica scene, and a happily-for-now ending. Occasionally, works breakthrough, but for the most part stories that don’t conform never see the light of day (or, they do, but only after Point 2 - trad pub editors insist that the elements most “outside” the box be removed or revised).

7. The lines between romance and erotica are arbitrary, random, and hetero- and cis-normative.

This modern romance novel won’t sell if it doesn’t have an explicit sex scene, but God forbid you call a penis a penis. Oh, no, this is far too explicit, even though the book only has one mlm sex scene, this is erotica.

The difference between “romance” and “erotica” might not matter so much if not for the stigmas attached to erotica and the huge difference in marketability and audience. The difference between “romance” and “erotica” also might not matter so much if not for the fact that, so often, even incredibly raunchy stories that feature cis straight male/cis straight female sex scenes are shelved as romance, but the moment the sex is between people of the same gender, and/or a trans or genderqueer person is involved, and/or the relationship is polyamorous, and/or the characters involved are literally anything other than a cis straight male pleasuring a cis straight female in a “standard” way (cunnilingus welcome, pegging need not apply)...then the story is erotica. Two identical stories will get assigned different genres based on who the people having sex are, and also based on the “skill” of the author to use ludicrous euphemisms (instead of just...calling body parts what they’re called…), and it’s insane. Non-con can be a “romance” novel, even if it’s graphically described. “50 Shades of Gray” can sell millions of copies, even containing BDSM. But the word “vagina” gets used once...bam, erotica. (Seriously, the only standard that should matter is the Envelope Analogy).

8. Authors are expected to do a lot of their own legwork (eg advertising) but then don't reap the benefits.

Okay, so, you’re going to get an advance of $2,500 on this, your first novel, and a royalty rate of 5% if and only if your advance sells out...so you’d better get out there and market! Wait, what do you mean you don’t have a following? Guess you’re never selling out your advance…

Trad pub can generally be relied on to do some marketing - so this item is perhaps better seen as an indictment of more mid-sized Presses - but, basically, if an author has to do the majority of the work themselves, then why aren’t they getting paid more? What’s the actual benefit to going the large press/trad pub route if it’s not going to get the book into more hands? It’s especially strange that this continues to be a major issue when self-publishing (which also requires doing one’s own marketing) garners 60%+ royalty rates. Yes, the author doesn’t get an advance, and they don’t get the cache of ~well I was published by…~, but considering some Presses require parts of advances to get paid back if the initial run doesn’t sell out, and cache doesn’t put food on the table...pay models have really, really got to change.

9. Fanfiction writing doesn't count as writing experience

Hey there Basic White Dude, we see you’ve graduated summa cum laude from A Big Fancy Expensive School. Of course we’ll set you up to publish your first novel you haven’t actually quite finished writing yet. Oh, Fanperson, you’ve written 15 novels for your favorite fandom in the last 4 years? Get to the back of the line!

Do I really need to explain this? The only way to get better at writing is to write. Placing fanfiction on official trad pub “do not interact” lists is idiotic, especially considering many of the other items on this list. (They know how to engage readers! They have existing followings! They understand genre and tropes!) Being a fanfiction writer should absolutely be a marketable “I am a writer” skill. Nuff said. (To be clear, I’m not saying publishers should publish fanfiction, I’m saying that being a fanfiction writer is relevant and important experience that should be given weight when considering an author’s qualifications, similar to, say, publishing in a university’s quarterly.)

10. Tagging conventions (read: lack thereof).

Oh, did I trigger you? Hahahaha. Good luck with that.

We rate movies so that people can avoid content they don’t like. Same with TV shows and video games. Increasingly, those ratings aren’t just “R - adult audiences,” either; they contain information about the nature of the story elements that have led to the rating (“blood and gore,” “alcohol reference,” “cartoon violence,” “drug reference,” “sexual violence,” “use of tobacco,” and many, many more). So why is it that I can read a book and, without warning, be surprised by incest, rape, graphic violence, explicit language, glorification of drug and alcohol use, and so so much more? That it’s left to readers to look up spoilers to ensure that they’re not exposed to content that could be upsetting or inappropriate for their children or, or, or, is insane. So often, too, authors cling to “but we don’t want to give away our story,” as if video game makes and other media makers do want to give away their stories. This shouldn’t be about author egos or ~originality~ (as if that’s even a thing)...it should be about helping readers make informed purchasing decisions. It’s way, way past time that major market books include content warnings.

Thank you for joining us, this has been our extended rant about how frustrated we are with traditional publishing. Helpful? No. Cathartic? Most definitely yes. 🤣

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