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minced-mangoes · 4 months

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I don't care what you think Lucifer is a bottom in my heart no I won't explain it just feels right. This is just a random headcanon to start this post.

Lucifer isn't super cuddly, but he does quite enjoy letting you snuggle up to his wings. Especially at night when you're asleep in bed, Lucifer will lay a wing over you, just so he knows you're still there. That you're safe and warm.

He takes pride in it, that he's protecting you, that no one would dare lay a hand on you with him there, shielding you, even at their most vulnerable point of sleep.

Also I personally think Lucifer sleeps on his stomach. It started as an angel, three wings makes it hard to lay on your back, and now that he's missing a pair of wings (and is probably severely scarred in that area) sleeping on his stomach is much more comfortable. The pain of the scars, plus waking up with his wings slept on weirdly, just isn't nice.

Of course if he isn't in his demon form, the wing thing is null, but I think the pain in his back just keeps him on his side or stomach. If he isn't in demon form when sleeping next to you, he will wrap an arm around you. Still taking comfort in knowing you're there with him. Of course this makes waking up in the night a bit difficult, as you don't want to wake this poor overworked man at 3 in the morning so you can go use the washroom, but he won't hold it against you if you do.

Now, if you get up to eat he'll be a bit upset. "Why didn't you eat enough at dinner? That isn't healthy. Living with Beel should have taught you to know not to skip meals." Of course all his nagging is from a warm part of his heart. He just wants the best for you. His idea of what's right with you, and what is actually right for you might be a bit different, however.

Tell him that. He feels proud when you stand up to him. Of course his human, the one he chose to make a pact with, out of the many who have begged him, would be bold, and tell him off when he's wrong.

~~~ Hee-hee hoo-hoo thanks for reading,,, as always I encourage interaction, especially asks. I will dump my headcanons on you. I also accept oneshot requests, though those take me a while to write, as I'm a slow writer. ( I started drafting this post on the 12th)

Funny note, at first I was scared of Lucifer, then I disliked him, then I realized he was actually pathetic and suddenly became a big fan.

Tomi Out!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #tomi's obey me au #obey me lucifer #headcanon #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer x mc #obey me lucifer x you #obey me nightbringer #omswd #more tomi thoughts #Tomi writes headcanons? More likely than you thought.

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vellichorom · 5 months

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Have you seen Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix? Long title for a show I know but since you like Danganronpa and CampCamp and stuff like that I think it's right up your alley!

I GET ITS PROBABLY BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE CRUDE SPEECH & VIOLENT THEMES but comparing laserhawk to danganronpa or camp camp is really funny to me because those those are Very Different Scary Alleyways

but as a matter of fact! I HAVE INDEED SEEN IT! my beloved sibling got into it & rayman as of recently, & made me binge the series, & holy SHIT

i don't know ubisoft OR their games very well, so this love letter of a series dedicated to all things related wasn't intended for me, but it's truly a MASTERPIECE. it's GRITTY, it rips just about everything you love & hold dear from your hands, & there's some very well-versed social commentary littered throughout that i don't think is oft seen depicted as graphic or realistically as it is in laserhawk.

which is such a hard left turn, considering laserhawk both LOOKS & SOUNDS like just a traditional netflix branded sci-fi action adventure, & it is, with colorful humor as well as a variety of interesting artstyle choices used within that hail back to ALL of ubisoft's roots, but it just says so much in a short amount of time.

also holy shit there's rayman snorting coke & eating sushi off of a cow girl's ass, if that doesn't get you intrigued what will

it's VERY polished & brilliantly executed, & I highly recommend anyone give it a watch, I think it's very underrated for being what it is.

I for one, would DEFINITELY like to see where the series goes, especially with that big cliffhanger !!!!! help me !!!!!!!!

#anonymous #inbox #I came for rayman & I left feeling like I got punched in the head #IN A GOOD WAY #also with more rayman thoughts #i am enjoying rayman & that is tomie's fault #also dolph <33 give him peace & a better boyfriend i beg you #& i hope everyone else is thotting it up in ubisoft heaven #did i mention rayman

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inkliinng · 19 days

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The letters in Valli are making my heart hurt. Like imagine being so close with your uncles, your aunts, and grandparents that you regularly write letters to them, can share your thoughts safely with them, call them valliappachan or ammayi, and they in turn call you kuttan. For the life of me- I cannot. I don't have much of a relationship with my extended family at all.

#part of that is because i never met or spoke with them until i was maybe 12.#and all my cousins on one side are a decade or more older than i am #and half the family on the other side are estranged #and have been since before I was born #it is what it is i suppose #but it still hurts #book blog #bookblr #booklr #book photography #booknook #books #reading #book quotes #valli by sheela tomy #m reads #book thoughts

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transwolvie · 11 months

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wait I lied I looked at the map again and I think "alligator destruction" does in fact go right thru Tampa

#tomi talks #the line is more tilted than I originally thought at a glance sorry

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portgasdwrld · 7 months

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★ Hickeys

ೃ⁀➷do they suck (lol) at hickeys, giver or receiver?, how? all answered down below by your beloved Tomie✨

ೃ⁀➷Psss this is a head-canon, take it lightly~

ೃ⁀➷ Suggestive, implied f!reader, NSFW language

ೃ⁀➷ monster trio + Law+ Ace

: ̗̀➛ Luffy

He’s the type to receive them more than to give

When he realizes he has hickeys, he’s just gonna wonder how it’s even possible and if smth hit his neck during a fight💀

Probably gonna bug Chopper about it, until he brushes him off mentioning it’s nothing

Then when you’re making out and you linger on his neck, it clicks into his mind. He yells a « ooohh, It was you! » after realizing that, it surprises you and you almost bit his skin-

He’s down to try it when you explain that you want them on you too

« You want me to suck your skin a little until it bruises? A bit like when you bruise after a fight? »

« Ugh… not the same but you got the spirit? »

He’s dense, but he tried and he didn’t do as bad as you thought

: ̗̀➛ Law

LMAO?? Wouldn’t he be the type to lowkey hit you with a scientific facts that hickeys can kill you if done wrong🤓😭

Ik he would. Im so sorry😮‍💨

On another note, tbh I feel like he’s just sooo into it, when his mind is fogged by lust. He will be making out with you and damn, he’s now leaving wet kisses all over your neck. That itself, just awaken some type of possessive strike and you’re left with hickeys a bit everywhere.

Will quietly eye them when y’all are cuddling after sex. He won’t comment on it beside if you point them out.

“They look great.”

It would be the most reaction you will get out of him. He’s so hot though- intrusive thoughts but they are real 😔

He doesn’t mind at all if you leave some on him fr. Like if it’s done within the right vibe and y’all are just kicking it and you’re riding him or y’all in lotus position, he might even groan and moan a little louder and curse under his breath.

: ̗̀➛ Sanji

Oh his mouth is ALLL OVERR your body. He’s kissing, praising, leaving hickeys all over your body. On you chest, between your thighs, on you collarbone.

He’s almost in a trance while he loves your body and mark it. He’s gotta to enjoy his pretty lover and you bet he’s gonna make it known that you are his and he’s the lucky man who has you!!

He’s so sweet about it, with sweet compliments, but it’s a bit messy too. Wet patches, mumbles from his muffled lips.

He’s SOOOOO down if you wanna do it on him. He gets very excited and can’t stop smiling and touching your body.

“Yes of course I’m down! Wanna try it rn? We got time yk..”

Best boy 🤧

ೃ⁀➷ Zoro

His neck always has some hickeys from you. He thought he hated it, but he quickly got over it and finds it hot now.

He doesn’t care too much if someone stare at them, but he will throw a curse out with a deadpan expression, if someone made a snarky comment.

He also has this possessive strike, so you bet you’re gonna have some type of bruises-hickeys on your body after y’all are done. Because he doesn’t go easy on you, he will be thrusting deep into you, while silencing you with his fingers deep in your mouth. Along with that, his mouth is nibbling on you neck and all your sensitive spots.

It’s an overstimulating mess.

He smirks satisfied when he sees you marked up, moaning his name and completely lost into his touch.

ೃ⁀➷ Ace

Oh, this man here has the biggest possessive strike out of all the men here.

I touched on the subject a little on my NSFW head canon, but he definitely love giving them. He whines when you do, because he’s apparently allergic to shirts and get slightly annoyed when each of his friends on the ship makes some jokes.

He loves that everyone knows you’re his. Because he gets to have one person for him, that actually feels love toward him and someone he can trust??! That’s the life prize!

Every time he fucks you, he makes sure that hickeys are created everywhere on your body.

He will shower you with attention and cocky comments as he sucks on to your skin.

It’s his specialty😮‍💨

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mendingbone · 11 months

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i keep seeing people in their late teens/early twenties having a "[X] content intended for younger audiences does not feel satisfying to me anymore but i don't know where to start to branch out into adult fiction" moment and i thought i would give some recommendations for adult fiction for my fellow creepy crawly queer people. all or at least a LOT of it will be on the darker and more fucked up side bc i primarily engage with horror and thriller media personally but feel free to add on with more or recommendations from other genres :)

edit: i am continuing to add to this list so there might be new recs (highlighted in pink) in here every once in a while! also want to add that there's a variety of POC, queer, and disabled authors in here as well, i am also all of the above (asian, bi/aro, poly, disabled) and tried to incorporate as many of their wickedly talented, compelling narratives as possible. that's all, happy reading!

A Certain Hunger, Chelsea G. Summers

A Darker Shade of Magic, V. E Schwab*

A Dowry of Blood, S.G Gibson

Animal, Lisa Taddeo*

A Ripple of Power and Promise, Jordan A. Day*

Bunny, Mona Awad*

Children of Blood and Bone, Tomi Adeyemi*

Cursed Bread, Sophie Mackintosh*

Dark Places, Gillian Flynn

Dead Girls Don't Say Sorry, Alex Ritany*

Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead, Olga Tokarczuk*

Eileen, Ottessa Moshfegh*

Fruiting Bodies, Kathryn Harlan*

Goddess of Filth, V. Castro*

Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn

House of Leaves, Mark Danielewski

If I Had Your Face, Frances Cha*

Iron Widow, Xiran Jay Zhao

Jackal, Erin E. Adams*

Juniper and Thorn, Ava Reid*

Kindred, Octavia Butler*

Manhunt, Gretchen Felker-Martin*

Mexican Gothic, Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Ninefox Gambit, Yoon Ha Lee*

Rabbits, Terry Miles*

Scorched Grace, Margot Douaihy*

Sharp Objects, Gillian Flynn

She is a Haunting, Trang Thahn Tran

Slewfoot, Brom*

Sorrowland, Rivers Soloman

Summer Sons, Lee Mandelo

Supper Club, Lara Williams*

The Centre, Ayesha Manazir Siddiqi*

The Change, Kirsten Miller

The Death of Jane Lawrence, Caitlin Starling*

The Dreamer Trilogy, Maggie Stiefvater

The Haunting of Hill House, Shirley Jackson

The Hollow Places, T. Kingfisher*

The Human Origins of Beatrice Porter, Soraya Palmer*

The Jasmine Throne, Tasha Suri

The Locked Tomb, Tamsyn Muir

The Luminous Dead, Caitlin Starling*

The Red Tree, Caitlin Kiernan*

The Unfamiliar Garden, Benjamin Percy*

Vicious, V. E Shwab

Wake, Siren, Nina MacLaughlin*

We Have Always Lived in the Castle, Shirley Jackson

What Moves the Dead, T. Kingfisher*

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minced-mangoes · 6 months

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I'm having a day

This is for my fellow AFAB fellas You think the brothers would be absolutely mystified you can take off bras without taking off your shirt. Like, they've been living just them boys for a long time, they probably haven't seen much of, if any AFAB things. Sure, 6 of them had Lilith, but do you think they'd remember something as seemingly menial as slipping a bra off after going out. Do angels wear bras?? I don't know. I don't care. This isn't about that.

Asmo might know it for... obvious reasons (or Trans Asmo I ain't judging)

But I think Mammon, whose never seen a bare titty in his life would find it so weird. "How'd ya get it off? Yer still wearin' ya shirt..." Beel would probably be confused for a second. Just stares. Then assumes it's normal and shrugs it off. Lucifer. He would be curious, but he's not going to ask, he's too proud for that. After he thinks about it for a second he figures out how and is then unbothered.

Levi is just. Flabbergasted. First of all you took off your bra in front of him!?!?!? Second of all you did some normie magic. The fuck. He would in fact ask how, then realize what he asked, and fluster. You broke the otaku by taking off a bra. Good job, I expected this. Now I think Satan would just raise his eyebrow, ask you how you did that, tell you to put your bra back on, then watches you take it back off again. Interesting. He didn't realize that was a thing you could do. He'll take note of this. Belphegor. I honestly don't think he'd care. Hey, one less thing stopping him from using your chest as a pillow. Maybe if he was feeling more awake than usual he'd attempt to think it over. Then give up. He doesn't have the brain power for it.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me mammon #obey me belphegor #obey me beelzebub #obey me asmodeus #obey me leviathan #more tomi thoughts #Tomi's Obey Me AU

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doliacuddles · 2 months

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MANIPULATION'S PUPPET.

𝖠𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗋 𝗑 𝖳𝗈𝗆𝗂𝖾! 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

❝There is no girl in the world as perfect as I am.❞

The arrival of Tomie! Reader in Hell intrigued Alastor. Her reputation and magnetism promised something more than just a lost soul. However, it soon became evident that she was much more than that. Her ability to manipulate with charm was unsettling even for Alastor, an expert in deceit.

Despite his usual confidence, Tomie! Reader's presence left Alastor uncomfortable. Her ability to manipulate and read people was undeniable. Although he knew he should be alert, he couldn't help but feel drawn to her.

Tomie! Reader put Alastor in an unusually vulnerable position. Despite being a powerful demon, he felt like a puppet in her hands. Although he distrusted her, the possibility of having someone as manipulative as an ally or enemy intrigued him.

Over time, Alastor began to perceive that Tomie! Reader represented a much more significant threat than a simple intruder. Her presence in Hell caused a disturbance in the existing balance of power, attracting the attention of other ambitious demons eager to exploit her influence.

Despite his initial caution, Alastor found himself increasingly drawn to Tomie! Reader's mysterious motives. What was she really seeking in Hell? And how did she plan to use it for her own ends?

With the increase in their interactions, Alastor began to perceive small details in Tomie! Reader's behavior that hinted at the execution of a more elaborate plan. Was she using Hell as a stepping stone to achieve an even more ambitious goal?

Tomie! Reader's growing influence in Hell did not go unnoticed by the other inhabitants of the place. Alastor felt increasingly pressured to take action and protect his own interests amid the growing chaos and conspiracies that surrounded them.

As the tension escalated, Alastor was forced to confront Tomie! Reader directly in a subtle game of cunning and manipulation. Recognizing the threat she represented, he was determined to preserve his dominion in Hell, not allowing her plans to endanger his position.

Despite his efforts to stand firm, Alastor found himself gradually enmeshed in Tomie! Reader's intriguing plans. The question of whether he could trust her as an ally or whether it would be wiser to keep her at bay as an enemy became increasingly urgent.

With the fate of Hell at stake, Alastor faced a momentous decision that would have profound repercussions on his existence. Would he risk aligning with Tomie! Reader in search of mutual benefit, or would he be forced to confront her in a showdown that could lead them both to ruin?

Absorbed in those questions, Alastor didn't notice how little by little he fell under the spell of Tomie! Reader, who had meticulously plotted her plan from the very moment they met.

In the dark and twisted underworld of Hell, where intrigue and conspiracy were commonplace, you, a mysterious and seductive presence, had captured the heart of Alastor, the feared "Radio Demon."

Under your manipulative charm, Alastor did everything you asked, unable to resist your magnetism and allure. However, his loyalty was put to the test when he witnessed you seducing another demon in front of him.

Jealousy ignited in Alastor's heart, burning like embers within him as he watched another dare to get too close to you, the one he considered his own. Thoughts of revenge and fury consumed him, clouding his judgment and unleashing a storm of violent emotions within him.

Unable to contain himself any longer, Alastor lunged at the intruder, his fury unleashed as his hands closed around their throat. Screams of pain and terror filled the air, but Alastor was blinded by rage, determined to eliminate any threat that stood between him and you.

However, amidst the chaos and violence, a soft and seductive voice broke through Alastor's storm of fury. It was yours, with an enigmatic smile on your lips, watching the scene with a mix of satisfaction and amusement in your eyes.

"My dear Alastor," you whispered, your voice like a hypnotic melody. "There's no need for jealousy. You are the only one in my heart, the one who controls the threads of my destiny."

Your words of reassurance and devotion calmed the storm within Alastor, dissipating his dark thoughts and filling him with a renewed sense of love and submission towards you. He stepped away from the demon, letting them fall to the ground in a heap of pain and fear, as he turned to you with a look of adoration and submission.

From that day on, Alastor vowed to protect and serve you with all his strength and power, no matter the trials Hell might throw his way. But deep in his heart, a fire of jealousy and possessiveness burned eternally, reminding him that love in Hell was as dangerous as any other emotion.

Intellectual property of @doliacuddles.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor

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billskeis · 5 months

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tom fluff please

ᡣ𐭩 tom w his new hair do

a heavy sigh was heard from the front door, your boyfriend had just came home from a hair appointment the both of you were anticipating. as shoes shuffled, waiting to be taken off, you ran at the speed of light outside your bedroom and beelined it for the front of the house.

“hi baby! let me see your hair,” you almost tripped going down the stairs due to your hurries to see tom’s new hair.

“sorry schatzi not right now..” his voice and breath was thick. he sounded upset, as though he just didn’t want to talk to you or anyone at the moment.

you didn’t want to pressure him into showing you, but he seemed so excited before he left? what happened?

he places a kiss on your cheek and heads towards the bathroom, you stand there, confused. next thing you hear is the sound of the bathroom door being locked, and tom never locks the door.

what’s going on?

you knock on the door, “tom? what’s wrong?” silence. you didn’t hear anything from behind the door, until he finally spoke for after what seems like forever, “n-nothing baby.. just, give me a minute i’m taking a shit alright?” you let your hand rest on the doorknob for a moment.

at this point you just thought to leave your boyfriend alone, maybe with some time, he will show you. ready to leave the foyer, you take your first step to go back into the bedroom to wait for him.

that was until you heard the door creak open and a sniffle.

whipping to turn your head around, you’re faced with your boyfriend who’s head is down. he has a hat covering his head, unrevealing his new hairdo to you. you witness a couple of tears fall from his face to the floor, “baby! what’s wrong??”

“will you like it?” he says every word with a sniffle following after. his voice is shaky, how could tom be so upset after something so exciting? “like what?” “like my hair..”

you soften your gaze at him, you rub circles on his shoulder to comfort him knowing how much he loves physical touch. feeling him ease under your touch, he begins to remove the hat, slowly, you bite your lip in anticipation.

not about the new hair, but how sensitive your boyfriend is. you’d love it regardless to what he’s done to it.

“the media.. it’s only been a few hours since i’ve gotten it done. four fucking hours. but those four hours let people to just—fuck, say shit.. mean shit..” “like what baby?” “go back to your old hair, you’re not as attractive anymore, we don’t like this new hairstyle, blahblahblah—like i can’t fucking take it anymore schatzi..”

you bring tom into a warm embrace, his head immediately falls into your shoulders, nuzzling his head into the crevice between your neck and head. because he’s taller than you, he has to lean a bit down.

and despite the size different between the two of you, he feels so safe within your arms.

“oh tom… don’t listen to them, come, raise your head and let me see.” you let go of your boyfriend so he can show you the new hair he got.

they’re braids, he also went from his lightbrown matt locks to black hair. and god, did he look so fucking hot.

“what!! tomi you look so incredibly good with them..” “my so-called fans don’t think so,” you cup his face with both your hands, his cheeks are soft. you use your thumb to wipe away the tears still shedding.

“then they’re not your fans.. real fans would appreciate and love the new look, i know i do!” he looks at you, eyes all glossy and shiny. tom smiles slightly feeling more comfortable in the compliments you unleash at him.

“my beautiful, handsome boy, how could anyone ever hate this new look? i love it…” he turns his head a bit to kiss the inside of your palm, “thank you, thank you liebling. you don’t understand how much i really needed to hear this,” “anytime! it’s my duty, isn’t it?” “that it is.”

the two of you share a laugh, “now come, let’s get you into bed yea?” you take your hands into his and lead your new, dashing boyfriend upstairs.

“y/n baby, you haven’t stopped touching them ever since we got into bed,” the two of your bodies are intertwined with another, a movie playing in the background as this is how you guys wanted to unwind for tonight.

“not my fault! i’m toootally obsessed, i mean, no sane person wouldn’t be!” “i guess you’re right.” finally, he agrees. he’s been so insecure since this afternoon, and after some time, he’s finally getting used to the hair.

you twirl one of the braids in between your fingers, asking him a bunch of questions such as how long did it take, who did them, and how do we take care of them. to the opposite of your surprise, tom was able to answer all these questions.

you really liked hearing him talk, the reason for this was to also let your boyfriend ramble and forget about all the negativity from earlier.

he was so cute, the way his lips curled upwards into a smile as he mentioned how nice the ladies were when they were doing his hair. the way he licks his lips to wet them after his mouth gets dry from talking too much.

oh, and don’t forget the eye contact.

he will look at you the whole time, endearingly, he will probably tell you later but you can tell how much he really appreciates it that you were so understanding of him and his concerns.

“oh! and they gave me this oil to put in them, and this, uh—silk to put around my head to sleep in, it’s so cool!” he pauses, “you good schatzi?” “yeayea, nothing’s wrong.. i just really like hearing you talk, voice s’nice,” “really? thank you :).”

man, the way he smiled at you.. your boyfriend was extremely beautiful inside and out.

#tokio hotel #tokio hotel x y/n #tokio hotel x you #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel fluff #tom kaulitz #tom kaulitz x y/n #tom kaulitz x you #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz fluff #2000s #fyp

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munv · 6 months

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𝗜𝗠𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗜𝗡 𝗘𝗦𝗖𝗔𝗧𝗦𝗬

𝗜𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗱𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗕𝗹𝘂𝗲 𝗟𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗜𝘁𝗼𝘀𝗵𝗶 𝗦𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗲𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗷𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂? 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗶𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼?

The birds were chirping, the sun peaked out from the kitchen window and poured into your connected living room, and peace drifted through the air with grace..yet..you groaned. Now, you weren't an all-time rounded apathetic person, unlike your younger brother you actually learned to show interest but it's not like you wore your heart on your sleeve either.

However, in the face of school, you couldn't help but show discontent. Grumbling as you ate the eggs from your plate that you cooked earlier somewhere in the corner of your eye your little brother looked more than ready to pounce on you. Don't get it wrong. You knew exactly why..you just refused to acknowledge his apparent irritation,

"you said you'd play soccer with me." He stabbed his fork right into the omelet and watched whatever was in it run out. You sweatdropped at this revelation and kept silent. 'he probably got that glare from mom' you shivered from the thought. Entering grade 4 was one thing. Facing the kids there was another, and you couldn't say you were particularly happy to wait for what kind of asshole Sae would transform into when he gets to that stage. Scratch grade 4–teenager sae would give you paralysis demons for eons.

"Now sae, your nee-san has to get an education in order to take care of you when we can't." No matter how much your father tried to sugarcoat it, he always had something to say. "nee-san is smart enough, the only thing that's needed for that dry persona of hers is manners." he calmly chewed his food before taking a sip of salted kombucha tea.

Somehow this reminded you of your grandpa scolding you all those years ago..surely sae couldn't have been a reincarnation of him as well? you frowned at the thought and quickly dismissed it.

"I don't want to hear that from a brat with a soccer ball for a brain." you sassed back. "If anything, there's isn't an ounce of knowledge in that 4-year-old noggin of yours. I say if we pop it, only air would come out. Enough to supply astronauts actually."

"oh? And I thought you were smart enough to be the bigger person and not meddle in whatever "foolishness" a 4-year-old has to offer. nee-san"

"To think I wouldn't be doing this if you didn't need any discipline. Brat"

Your father chuckled a bit at the sparks flying around the room. This had become the usual banter you and Sae had ever since he could talk. What a bundle of joy you both were when you couldn't speak at all. "[name] we're gonna be late if you two keep this up. I'll see you in the car" he got his keys which jingled and clacked along with the movement before making his way outside.

Hurrying to finish breakfast, you put the plate in the sink before grabbing your bag by the door. but, you stopped and turned around to quickly embrace sae and give him a small pat before truly leaving. "see you when I get home sae!" The door closed by the time the younger boy turned to face you and a small blush decorated his cheeks. "stupid nee-san.." he murmured before getting back to work on the plate in front of him. Maybe he'd practice until you could get home and show you some new moves? right! he'd definitely win this match if he practiced.

You entered the school gates as your skirt and tie swished a bit in the wind, before you got here you got what was supposed to be a schedule for your class which was class 1-B. Too focused on your schedule, what you failed to notice was the looks you were getting.

"who's that?"

"you don't know? It's Itoshi-san from Samuyoko!"

"no way..she's from that school? wasn't the entry rate like..3.2% or something"

"oh my go–TOMI-CHAN FAINTED!!"

"an angel? cool" "I thought she was here last year?"

You quirked your brow after finally realizing the commotion around you, looking around only to realize all eyes were on you. 'what the fuck..' These kids made you feel like your nerves were in a literal jumble, and you weren't having a fun time with all this attention.

With the help of your schedule, you hurriedly made your way to your classroom just in time before the bell could ring. Finding the inner strength within you managed to walk into the classroom after taking a small breath to yourself 'Everything is fine..she won't be here- hopefully.'

By the time you reached your seat, her voice echoed through the halls. "[N/N] WHERE ARE YOU??"

ok..maybe you jinxed it. A bob of short light pink hair that pairs with blue eyes had already run into the classroom. "Kagami..nice to see you too." Opening your arms you braced for your impending doom that was soon to crush you one way or another. "gah! you're cuter than last time I saw you! oh oh right, let me tell you about my summer but you tell me about yours first alright?" She jumped into your arms and she was already rambling.

"right. Class is about to start you know." the taller girl pouted in response "Such a killjoy you are, but that always adds to your charm!" She stretched your cheeks out with the brightest smile ever. "we have 12 minutes until science so it can wait"

The thing about her was that you met in your first year when you were still enrolled in Samuyoko Primary. The school was a bit far from home, but considering you were in college back before being reincarnated it was easy as pie passing the entry exam. Kagami was a social butterfly which just so happened to be a complete contrast to your personality. The minute she saw you. Both of you stuck together like glue (she kept on bothering you.) In the end the friendship worked out though so it was fine.

"and I was like "how'd she manage to grab the whole collection before me?" so then"

Ah. yes. She was still rambling like usual, this was definitely your best friend.

ITOSHI OMAKE

"[n/n] you shouldn't be so gloomy all the time! here I am so graciously eating lunch with you and yet you still are as silent as ever!" she whined. It was lunchtime and considering how you weren't so keen on being stalked and stared at during this time you somehow managed to convince kagami to eat out in the garden with you.

"I don't think I'd have the time to speak with the way you've been talking for the last few minutes." still not looking at her, you proceeded to open up your bento and the small piece of cake you brought with you as well.

"didn't you mention that you had a little brother? you don't really talk about him." you paused from the piece of shortcake you were about to devour and took a minute to give it some thought "him? Sae's so much of a brat I'd rather not talk about him."

"Sometimes you act like an old man [name]!" she giggled. "it's better than fighting over pocky flavors with a 5-year-old."

The girl across from you gasped dramatically "Didn't you fight with your brother over STEAK? are you perhaps a hypocrite [name]-chan? even so, you're still cute doing it!"

You pointed your chopsticks are her accusingly "it's different when it's not a random kid Kagami"

"it's so not!"

"it so is"

This was the usual banter you both would have, it was fun. You missed this type of thing whenever it came to her. Maybe..just maybe this life would be better?

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lizzaneia-elizalde · 5 months

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Male Yandere Parasite x Female Wife Reader

Inspired from Tomie, but what if a human scientist decided to genetically alter himself to be able to move from one host to another, taking over their body, and replacing the original host entirely? (Original host is dead, with their body acting as a husk puppet for yandere parasite). Yandere parasite decided to do this to try and achieve immortality so he could be with reader darling (literally) forever. The “only problem” is that he has to convince her now to let him do the same procedure on her so they both can be together forever…

This definitely goes into the body horror genre, so I don’t want you to freak out from potential graphic writing if you’re uncomfortable writing it. Stay in your comfort zone as always! I just thought this’d be a fun take on the “eternal soul mates” trope

Thanks!!! 💝

Yandere! Male! Parasite x Female! Professor! Wife! Reader

💝anon, this tested me ways I don't think is possible. But damn was it enjoyable to write.

For your other requests, I have to reject some ideas ;-; Don't get me wrong, your ideas are fantastic, but the requests reached my quota and I spun the wheel to choose which requests to do TT__TT

Not just 💝's requests too, some of others got rejected also due to again, having reached the quota already huhuhu.

Yandere! Parasite name: Acheron

Immortality. A lot of people want to live forever. Some go through the supernatural route, some religious, and some the scientific route of insanity.

Acheron has always been the weird kid.

A lot of people doesn't understand his genius, and his fixations on parasites didn't really help people understand his unique understanding of the world.

And he, who doesn't really see the importance in human interaction, didn't care to connect with people also.

He's quite cold, always had a perpetual annoyed look in his face, and doesn't smile until he talks about parasites.

He's in his own little world, in his own little space.

Yet, Acheron, despite being an unusual genius in his family, can only be reclused so much until he needs to actually go fight in the real adult world.

After graduating with a parasitology degree, he was lost, and didn't know what to do.

Sure, he could work in labs and study parasites as much as he wants, but working in a lab with other scientists that can be potentially more knowledgeable than him doesn't really sit well.

He's quite arrogant in his own right.

So, setting up a lab in his own home, he started to do experiments by himself.

Nobody to tell him that his experiments are unethical, nobody to tell that he's doing too much, nobody to tell him that "No, Acheron, using people for your parasitic experiments is bad!"

Well, who is the bad person now, huh?

He looked up at the vial in front of him. It was weird, seeing this small parasite wriggle and write letters on the glass with its slime.

The consciousness of the person he kidnapped to experiment on has transferred to this little worm.

And, on the table, is a comatose body who's only alive due to the machinery.

Never mind that the parasite spelled "HELP ME" on the glass, he just continued to place the parasite up the nose of the comatose body.

And, as he got out of the experimentation room and locked it up, he smirked once he saw the body twitch and writhe, and by the two hour mark, the man was slamming the glass walls, demanding to be let go and for him to return to his old body.

Acheron lets out a loud, triumphant, yet cruel laugh.

Consumed by his own ego, pride, and desire for immortality, he finally made the perfect vessel to be immortal himself.

He punched the red button and turned his back on the man, whose coughs and wheezes so as his pleadings turned to quiet murmurs. And, a sound of a falling body was heard.

And that is the story of how the first immortal emerged from a humble, blood filled, homemade lab.

It was the year 20XX, 50 years after the mysterious disappearance of Acheron in his home. It was burned down, but not a body was found.

Well, his body is not found.

Countless bodies were found under his garden, and one was found inside the burnt home. Including his parents.

There is no clear factor on which targets Acheron picked. All of them were at random.

But all of them had one thing in common. Inside of them were some type of parasite that was unknown.

It seems genetically modified, but was too dead or too burnt to be identified properly.

He's known as the parasitic recluse, as he's rarely seen outside of his, well, his parents' home, and that he's a parasitologist.

People theorized on what he did, and why was he experimenting. Did his parents knew about his work? Or are his parents in on it?

It was skin crawling, thinking what Acheron might have done to these people.

It's the start of the new semester in all of educational facilities. In one of the Ivy League Universities, one of the beloved professors in the biology department is walking towards the field to induct the new professors which just got hired.

Young as he may, he smiled at the students and co-personnel passing by him as took his place in one of the chairs.

It's Acheron, who took over the body of a well known parasitology professor in the University. After he passed by the office one day with his previous body, the professor coincidentally got a heart attack and died. So, he transferred bodies and framed it that his previous body was the one who got a heart attack.

It's been three years since then, and he finally got access to a bigger lab, and more knowledge from this body's previous knowledge.

He's thriving immensely. Immersed in work, experiments, and research now that he has all the time in the world. Honestly, this would have been such a heartfelt want if not for the fact that he did horrible experiments to people to gain such power.

Once the speakers played a royalty free music to start the ceremony, Acheron stood tall and scanned the new professors before landing his eyes on a starry eyed woman.

His heart raced a bit as he saw you look at him with such adoration, like he was your idol.

It was... Refreshing. He's never been looked up to like this, even before the ceremony.

After the inauguration, you hopped towards him with a grin. He also had a small smile.

"Sir [redacted]!" You cheerily said, pertaining to the person Acheron is occupying now. "I'm such a big fan of yours! Your researches, and I have a collection of parasites you discovered!"

Acheron chuckled liking your enthusiasm. It feels good to have such a fan like yourself.

"Well, thank you, miss..?"

"Y/N!"

"Y/N..." The way your name rolled off his tongue felt good, but he doesn't know why.

"May I invite you to drink some coffee, sir? I really want to talk to you more..." You shyly said, holding his hand.

He cleared his throat, suddenly shy and hot.

For the first time in his life/ves, he felt attraction, a simple crush wanting to bloom to a bigger thing. It's scary, but his heart yearned for more. After years of being barren, you burrowed yourself into a you-shaped hole in his heart and refused to be let out.

Slowly his fixation got a one up. Other than parasites, he's fixated on you.

Dating him is fun. Although, there are some times he gets a bit too jealous and possessive. He told you he planted some trackers in you, he's confrontational about your other co-workers and even students, and threatened to kill himself if you leave him.

It was extreme that even Acheron is winded by how extreme he is. But does he care? Somehow, but his heart was too much to be dictated.

And you, the blind person you are due to idolization, ignored these red flags and married him only after 6 months of dating.

After marrying, on your 1st year anniversary, he revealed everything.

And I mean, everything.

Acheron fully became comfortable around you.

He's much more lenient now as he studied researches and experimented with parasites.

It was weird, seeing him suddenly become so complacent with you. When he's such a red flag before, now it's almost a complete 180.

Did his insecurities die off..?

Now that you say that, he's really busy these days.

Maybe that's why he doesn't really have time for you anymore?

Somehow, that upset you a lot.

So, you confronted the guy in the laboratory you and him shared.

Opening the door slightly, you poked your head through the opening and saw him experimenting on a worm. The worm wiggled, as if spelling something.

Your heart trembled. Yes, you love Acheron, but sometimes, he does freak you out.

"Acheron? Are you busy?" You whispered, a bit of a sad edge on your voice.

"Hmm?" He looked up at you and grinned. "Love! How are you?"

He took off his gloves and went up to you. Hugging your body against him excitedly.

"What do you need?"

"Um, actu--"

"Well, whatever. Love! I finally remade the parasite!"

Your stomach dropped. Suddenly feeling dread on your stomach.

"P-parasite..?"

"Yes."

He grabbed a vial and showed you a worm suspended in water. It was just calmly wriggling around.

"I want you to inhale this, alright? Don't worry, it will only hurt a bit." He said with a manic grin.

Your heart pounded, your trembling eyes looking at the vial and back to him.

You could see parasites wriggling around in his eyes.

"Come on love, don't worry. It's completely safe!"

He held your shoulders, gripping it strong that you can't even break out of his hold.

You can't run.

You wanted this relationship.

So suffer the consequences.

"We will be together, forever!"

#lizzaneiaelizalde #yandere writing #yandere imagines #yandere boyfriend #yandere male #male yandere x reader #tw yandere #yandere x darling #yandere x you #yandere fic

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pickles4nickles · 2 months

Text

So I’ve been watching playthroughs of Yakuza games for a while now, but when I saw that the newest game takes place in Hawai’i, the place where I was born, raised, and have lived in for nearly 30 years now, I knew that this was something I had to have first-hand experience with and not let some guy tell me how to feel about it, to put it bluntly.

I went on a month and a half long journey to finish this game, so I sat around for a bit like

Jesus Christ I should write a review on it.

So if you’d like to read about 5k words on what I thought about The Video Game™, here you go.

Overall, Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth is a really really good game. However, as Hawai’i local it was kind of hard for me to turn my brain off to some of the cultural inaccuracies and as someone who tends to play smaller indie games, I clocked in about 110 hours on this and I burned out a little towards the end.

GAMEPLAY

Let’s get into Gameplay first because I think I have the most positive thoughts about it. If you haven’t heard my thoughts about Pokemon lately, it mostly boils down to “It’s the only RPG I’ve really been playing in recent years and the gameplay has been very watered down and I yearn for a decent PvE experience.” This game definitely scratched that itch in more ways than one.

Infinite Wealth’s turn-based combat system revolves around positioning. Some moves have an AoE of either a straight line or a circle. Positioning a character next to an ally will proc a combo move with them and positioning them near items will proc an item attack where you can beat a guy to death with a traffic cone or something.

The job system is robust. Every character starts off with a default class- Ichiban’s is Hero, an all-rounder that can pretty much do anything; characters like Nanba and Eric (I know the game calls him Tomi or Tomizawa, but I’m not the game and “Fuckin’ Eric” sounds way better than “Fuckin’ Tomi”) are magic-oriented, so they’re basically wizards by default. You can change their class to other jobs (Desperado is my favorite because it’s basically gun mage), which unlocks new skills as you level them up. You can also change jobs as much as you want and skills carry over between them, so there’s a bit of moveset mixing and matching that makes my brain feel good.

Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio, (the Yakuza devs, which we’re just gonna abbreviate to RGG from here on out) have always been REALLY good at asset reuse (again, I cast a dirty look to Game Freak). They’ll make a whole-ass map of a region and reuse that same map for several games down the line. Not only do you spend a significant time in Ijincho again and not only do you go to Kamurocho for little bit… AGAIN, but there are two… what I can only call “macro” games that have the best asset reuse I’ve seen in, like, maybe anything ever.

DONDOKO ISLAND

Like A Dragon: Infinite Wealth comes with a whole-ass Animal Crossing clone that’s also kind of The Sims called Dondoko Island. In this, you rehab an island that’s being used as a dump for some trash pirates (no, seriously, they’re actually pirates, yar har and everything) back into a five star resort. There’s a whole-ass crafting system where you go around the island, harvesting resources, to build furniture and facilities, which include whole-ass buildings which have appeared in past Yakuza games. The crafting system is GREATLY improved over Animal Crossing: New Horizon in that you can skip the goddamn animation and craft multiple of the same items at once. You don’t even have to have all the materials in your inventory, it’ll take it from your storage. Placing items in the world is also in an overhead view and the only grievance I have with the system is that placing paths is really weird and you can only place a limited number of them. But overall, Nintendo, was it really that hard to put into the video game. Why did you make AC:NH disrespect my time in that way?

Once the island has been cleaned up enough, you can start inviting guests over, which all have their own set of preferences for the vibe of your island (rustic, pop, sleazy, etc), their lodging quality, and how much of the island’s flora and fauna (and minerals, I guess??) you’ve discovered.

I really really liked Dondoko Island because who am I to say no to a management mini/macro game with decoration elements. I mostly really appreciate that it doesn’t waste your time. I wanna say I finished it in like less than 20 hours… which is not short for a game within a game (actually, that’s insane for a game within a game), but for a game of this genre, it’s pretty short.

There’s also an entire separate mini-island that further helps you with efficiently running your island by passively collecting resources over time and just being a general stockpile of bugs and fish to catch. But I can’t talk about this part without talking about…

SUJIMON

A returning character voiced by Keith Silverstein in the English dub – yes, that Keith Silverstein, who voices Masayoshi Shido of Persona 5 and Zhongli of The Genshin Impact™ is a professor who documents the behavior of weird and often hostile middle aged men, called Sujimon. When Ichiban goes to Hawai’i, he asks him to also document the native Sujimon there as there’s a prominent Sujimon scene there. Mans wasn’t kidding as there is an underground, more or less ilicit Sujimon fight club called The Sujimon League with its own Elite Four called The Discrete Four.

In the previous game, Sujimon was just your bestiary (literally called the Sujidex), but now it’s a whole-ass game, which I can mostly only describe as simplified Yokai Watch, but a glorified card game. Just so we’re not here for forever talking about middle-aged men cockfights… because I can talk about the mechanics and inner workings of middle-aged men cockfights for a hot minute, Sujimon League basically operates on a 3v3, with an additional bench of 3, rock-paper-scissors kind of system. You’ll need strong Sujimon to get through this macro game and you’ll recruit new guys through four ways- through random fights on the map, through literal Pokemon GO raids, through a gacha system, and through combining Sujimon of the same type into stronger Sujimon (don’t think too hard about that one). I had a LOT of fun with this and, again, it scratched an itch I’ve had for a while. Almost all of the Sujimon are just guys you’ll fight in-game, so, again, an excellent use of asset reuse.

Sujimon smoothly integrates into Dondoko Island in a way that makes Palworld look even more balls-less than it already is. You know that little island I was talking about a few paragraphs back? That’s Dondoko Farm. You can put your Sujimon to work on it! As you’re running around on Dondoko Island, letting it consume your life, your Sujimon will grow crops, scrounge around for resources, and earn some cash for you. The island also has some resources to help with Sujimon League by leveling them up with a small investment of some dondoko bucks and your time, but also a Pokemon-Amie type mini-mini game that helps strengthen the friendship of your current Sujimon team.

Yes.

This game lets you pet-

The sweaty, weirdo middle-aged men.

Don’t think about it too hard.

Especially don’t think about it too hard when you have a Sujimon on your team that uses Xander Mobus’ voice clips.

Anyway, there’s also another minigame called Sicko Snap, which is basically Pokemon Snap with Sujimon. It’s a good one, too.

STORY

I guess… the best way I’d explain my feelings on Infinite Wealth’s story is

Objectively, this is an okay story. Like, it’s par for the course for a Yakuza game. I have a lot of personal grievances with this plot which I’ll fully unsheathe my blade for in the next section, but for now I’ll just say… this game is basically Hawaii Five-O crammed into a Yakuza game and that was an emotional rollercoaster ride that I’m not sure I enjoyed.

Like a Dragon’s main theme is “Even if you hit rock bottom, it’s never too late to get back up again” and that’s something I hold near and dear to my heart.

They have used this theme to my benefit and to my dismay as this also apparently means it’s never too late for ~*Romance*~ which, sure, yeah, okay, true, but did it have to be Ichiban and Saeko?

I’m trying to give the game the benefit of the doubt because… to me, it’s mostly one-sided (as in, like, Saeko’s willing to give him a chance, but isn’t as crazy for Ichiban as he is for her) and, like, dude is allowed to have a crush. But from what I have seen… because I never got around to finishing her Drink Link (I was gonna but I’m like really burned out on the game), they kinda strap C4 to the Bechdel Test and raze a village to the ground with it when it comes to Saeko’s character arc because most of her dialogue and interactions are about The Incident with Ichiban, which sucks because she had more character than just a romance interest for the protagonist in the previous game. If you’re also REALLY not into this plot point like I am, the story DOES NOT let you forget that this indeed happened as it seems to be a plot thread that might continue into the next game as well.

Needless to say, I don’t ship it, and I don’t get to block tags and just walk away from this one.

The game also kinda keeps nudging at, “Hehe, Chitose’s pretty cute too, right?” to which I say

Yes I understand she’s of legal age but she’s only like 21 AT MOST and Ichiban’s like 40-something you stop with that.

It doesn’t feel like Ichiban really had a character arc in this… unless you count “proposing on the first date” to “saying I love you on a redo and then being weird about it again” as character growth. He went to Hawai’i, had some shenanigans, found mom, got backstabbed again, fought the cult (which I’ll be really salty about in the next section), went back home to help Eiji’s character arc. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s just… Ichiban went on another adventure. And it was ok. I think maybe the game was sizing him up to, again, take Kiryu’s place and be The Hero, but… we already did that already? And I’m not even sure if the game was able to complete that message by the end of the game.

Kiryu probably got the most character development out of this game and talking this over with my friend Andrew, he brought up that it kinda wasn’t fair that this is supposed to be Ichiban’s game, but he had to share half of it with Kiryu. And I agree. His sections were also really hard to get into if you haven’t been a longtime fan. Again, I have a decent amount of Yakuza knowledge, but with Kiryu’s memories, a LOT of it went over my head. It seems like RGG’s been trying to retire him as a protagonist for like three games now and MAYBE this time they’ll actually do it after this victory lap they’ve given him. But he did learn that “my friends are my power” and “never ever give up, you still have time to do better.” And you know what, that’s rad.

As far as the villains go, just, I dunno, they’re fine? Ebina and Eiji are very “okay bitch, stay mad, then,” and it’s. Fine? My only complaint is that Ebina’s arc felt like it was under-seasoned before they put it in the oven to cook and they could’ve peppered it on a little earlier in the game or something. Bryce’s entire deal I may have taken a little too personally, but that’s for later. Dwight was literally just Danny Trejo doing a villain role and I have absolutely no qualms with it. He was fun to watch.

The supporting cast was fun as always. Eric I hated at first, but he grew on me in the same way that, like, I’d bully a friend. Chitose I also kinda hated at first, was very sus of, but then she had a character arc that was pretty good. The Yokohama gang didn’t really have character arcs to them, but they were still fun to hang out with nonetheless. We got to learn a little bit more about Seonhee and she’s really fun. Both her and Zhao, who is my favorite for several reasons, are really really fun characters as they are both crime bosses (former, in Zhao’s case) who are BIG FUCKING WEIRDOS and I love them for it.

Joongi Han becomes a party member WAY too late in my opinion that, in a way, he’s technically an optional party member, or at least like getting a Dratini right before the Pokemon League in Gold/Silver/Crystal. He had some fun character moments, but felt kinda like an afterthought.

But also, ain’t no way he got his Hawai’i clothes at Hilo Hattie. There’s no way.

To wrap up my thoughts on the main story, I’d just like to say: the plot point that they sailed to Japan on a little tugboat in a handful of hours as opposed to WEEKS is peak Hawaii Five-O vibes and it infuriates me, but everyone kept telling me “it’s okay, the coast guard picked them up, like, halfway” and I will sit down and not start a fistfight over it. And just. That was the vibe of the game for me. Just… alternating between a J-Drama and Hawaii Five-O.

I don’t really have much to say about the substories except that they’re either almost Oscar-worthy material or they’re a snoozefest that I just tabbed through. I can really only think of three substories off the top of my head that were EXCELLENT, though - Nancy and Olivia, the artificial snow quest (THIS ONE IS EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH), and the traveling aquarium one. The rest I mostly just tabbed through because they were just……. Eh. But I think I’m okay with that since we have Sujimon and Dondoko to make up for it.

THE CULTURAL GRIEVANCES

So as I type this section out, I run my hands over my face to remind myself and say

This is a game that takes place in Hawai’i from a Japanese perspective, written primarily for a Japanese audience and I assume that certain things may come from a place of ignorance, but not maliciousness.

Hey Tumblr.

I want you to read that first bolded sentence again.

Because I know how you guys are with reading comprehension.

But that being said, as a Hawai’i-born Chinese person, there’s quite a lot about the Hawai’i cultural aspects of this game that I have problems with. If you wanna see me roast this game, you can stick around, but if not… Here is your chance to bail.

I’ve tried my best to write this in a way where I look at the thing that pissed me off and ask myself, “Am I taking this too seriously or do I actually have a problem with it?” and write more or less objectively, but some of it might still come off as overly caustic. Just. I tried.

And after a deep breath,

Ho brah,

We go.

WHAT IS HAWAIIAN CULTURE, ANYWAY?

To start off, I’m not sure if RGG knows the difference between being a Hawai’i local and actually being of Hawaiian blood…? The game mentions at the very beginning that Akane is half-Japanese… and half-Hawaiian, which makes Ichiban one-fourth Hawaiian, which makes ME kinda… squint. Like, we’d need to know more about Akane’s backstory, but if you know anything about indigenous cultures, finding someone who’s half native is HARD nowadays. Akane also looks pretty light skinned for someone who’s allegedly half-Japanese, half-Hawaiian but that’s just my tiny nitpick?

I’m also… not sure what kinda research RGG did on Hawaiian last names because some of the ones I see on random enemies are kinda…

Who is that

What is that

I have never seen anyone named that in my entire life

Sure, my worldview is a little shut in, but, no, what IS that?

Mililani is not a last name, that’s a neighborhood, why’s she Lani Mililani?

WHAT IS THAT?

The pidgin in the game is also there, but… small kine hit or miss. For those of you who don’t know, pidgin is Hawai’i’s creole, which came from a bunch of cultures who don’t speak the same language eventually falling into a kitbashed language system that works for everyone. Looking at the VA listing in the credits, they did hire some local people (they have Hawaiian names) and some of the VO performances work really well like Obispo in the restaurant side story and the cab driver dialogue that ONLY comes up in the Japanese audio version of the game for some reason. Others… are… hm (I don’t know what’s going on with Jeff the taco truck guy). I feel like the voice director got the intonation on the line reads down pretty well, but on the localization side, the syntax and grammar are a little off. Pidgin tends to come off as “broken english,” but it’s technically not since it’s its own language system with its own rules. So you have a lot of line reads that are in the right inflection, but the way it’s written is wrong for pidgin dialogue.

And it just doesn’t sound 100% right to me.

There’s also some… small pronunciation nitpicks that I have. Ukulele is pronounced the white way - it’s not Yooka-Laylee like the Chameleon and Bat, it’s ook-oo-leh-leh like Tapu Lele, the Pokemon. Some characters pronounce Hawai’i as huh-why and not ha-wuh-ee, which is more right (it’s SUPPOSED to be ha-vai-ee but I’m not native Hawaiian and this is kind of an axolotl situation so, y’know).

But shout-outs to the “Whatchu lookin’ at?” line guy.

Because that one is just, no notes, perfect.

NOTHING CAN BE NORMAL, I GUESS

Something that rubbed me the wrong way in this game is the mystification of a culture that’s foreign to you, that is, taking a culture that’s not yours and describing or representing it in such a way that it sounds so deviant and hard to comprehend compared to the one you’re used to. Think of that one tweet where someone describes hamburgers like a white person would describe asian fruit.

There's the lei substory where the girl needs to make a lei with blue plumerias (which does not exist by the way) because there’s an urban legend that if you give a blue plumeria lei to someone, it’s a way of confessing your true love. Lei are just… things you give as, like, a “congrats!” kind of a thing. Or if you wanna be touristy about it, a “welcome!” kind of gift. There’s nothing mystical about it, most grocery stores stock a few that you can just pick up, grab and go style.

The entire game mechanic of “shaka to make friends” was so?? Like maybe after 8 hours into the Hawai’i map, I was like, okay, I’ll just… fine. I’ll accept it. But my god did I not appreciate it when Kson came up to me and was like “what’s a motherfucker gotta do around here to make some friends” and told me how FRIENDLY the Hawaiian people were and how you can just throw a shaka to make friends; while me, probably the saltiest, introverted Hawai’i local that throws stink-eye at tourists who can’t watch where they’re going, playing the video game on that day was like, “We don’t fucking do that, hello??” I don’t even know why we shaka?? Most people you ask that question will just be like “idk it’s the local thing, they do it at the end of the 5pm news on KHON2.”

There’s a substory in this game with a character named Nathan, but we were all calling him racist Alpharad because he kinda looks like him (ALPHARAD HIMSELF IS NOT RACIST OR IN THIS GAME I WANNA CLARIFY THAT) and he’s basically, like… a weeb. He’s recording what seems like a PBS special on Japanese tourists in Hawai’i, but he’s kind of a shitter about it. He makes Ichiban choose between local foods and cold-ass rice and becomes upset when he chooses kalua pork over the rice since it wasn’t The Japanese Option. It escalates to making Ichiban play darts with shuriken and when he loses, he tells him to “live up to his dishonor,” slides him a knife and board, and asks him if he wants to take a finger or hara-kiri. To which Ichiban goes “dude, I get you like Japanese culture, but you can’t treat people this way”

To which I look back at the game like

You clearly understand how this feels, so why are you doing this to Hawaiian culture?

Again, I understand that a lot of this game was written with maybe just ignorance, and not malice, and this isn’t really a call-out post to RGG or anything, but BOY…

Okay.

Now we get to my biggest gripe with this game.

PALEKANA CAN SUCK MY NUTS

I’m kinda disappointed in their choice to use a Hawaiian cult as a plot point. It’s not quite a native savages kind of a vibe, but… In the year of our lord 2024, I thought we would know better than to portray an indigenous religion as a bloodthirsty cult? I also don’t like how they’re conflating the Hawaiian religion with what’s more like a Christian/Catholic cult in this.

Palekana is portrayed as “cultists who worship a goddess who lives in a mystical land, forbidden only to her chosen and maybe one day we’ll be worthy of her blessings.” Hawaiian religion is… not… like that at all? They did get the part about “giving back to the community” correct as a part of Hawaiian culture is mālama ‘aina, meaning, you need to care for the land you live on, which is… reasonable? I guess the other basic idea of Hawaiian religion is that certain places, things, and times that are important, and you shouldn’t touch it unless you wanna fuck around and find out. But the game just kinda wildly overboils this.

Like, I don’t claim to be an expert, I’ve only scraped the basics from what I learned in school (a year’s worth of Hawaiiana lessons in middle school, a semester’s worth in college; went to a private Catholic school, took two world religion classes in college), but Palekana has a very Catholic European religion kind vibe instead of a Hawaiian one. And I really, really don’t like that the game conflates the two. The Palekana cultists wear hoods, which is a distinctly European thing (it’s too hot for hoods here!). The beaded necklaces also seem more like rosaries, which, again, very Catholic. The idea that a god-figure will save you is also a VERY Catholic idea. I’m also assuming the goddess Nele that they use in the game is an expy for Pele, which… okay, like, you can do that with locations. Ala Moana Shopping Center represented as Anaconda Mall in the game hurts me a lot, but… to change up the name of the most prominent deity in Hawaiian religion is like

Dude, I’m not Hawaiian, but I know better than to shit on Pele?

Maybe I’m taking this a little too seriously, but it comes off as a little(??) disrespectful.

To give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe RGG wrote this plot point in this way to be like, well, they’re the villains, so we’ll write them so hyperbolically evil and wrong so people won’t mistake that for the actual culture? But my gut reaction is that they’re only writing from what they’ve seen in the movies and they wanted to make a story like that.

This was my least favorite part of the plot because not only does the cult aspect feel like it’s in bad taste, but it’s SO MUCH of the story and you REALLY can’t get away from it.

Alright. So now that I’ve aired that out of my system, I’m finally capping off this section with the part of the game that hit the closest to me and that is

CHINESE IN HAWAI’I

Listen. Again.

This is a story about Hawai’i, written by a Japanese team, for a Japanese audience.

Yakuza is a series that often talks about the racial conflict between the Japanese, Chinese, and Koreans. And I don’t expect them to portray any of these groups in anything more than a neutral light in this game about Gang Crime.

But ohhhhh my gooooood did they get the Chinatown section so wroooooooong.

Right off the bat, the big glaring problem I have with this game is. All the guys speak Mandarin. I think they might just be reusing voice clips from Yakuza 7, which, sure, fine, I understand that video games are hard to make and expensive.

In Hawai’i, like, real-world Hawai’i, not the bizzaro Hawai’i this game takes place in, we’re definitely starting to see more Mandarin-speaking immigrants show up, but most of the town speaks Cantonese.

Most of the people here a generation or two above me come from Guangdong or Hong Kong, which are Cantonese-speaking areas. It’s an entirely different dialect that’s really only been represented in small bits in media I’m familiar with, like in Jackie Chan Adventures (the uncle’s chant is basically “no more ghosts, get out of here” in Cantonese) and Digimon Tamers (“Moumentai” is “it’s okay/don’t worry about it” in Cantonese), and it seems really hard to get VAs that speak it, so I’m not… really that mad about it.

BUT. Then there’s Wong Tou.

Wong is the Cantonese pronunciation of 黄 , Huang or Hwang in Mandarin.

So like… clearly they knew?? But?? Decided not to go all in on it??

(And then Daniel Dae Kim is his face model and I just??? Bro’s Korean, hello?????)

And then there’s the name of Wong Tou’s gang. The Ganzhe.

Which is a stupid name.

The Chinese dictionary gives me 甘蔗 which translates to sugarcane, which. I get it. The plantation times. The Chinese and the Japanese and the Filipinos and the Portuguese and whatever all used to work on the cane plantations.

…But you’re out here calling your BIG KNIFE GANG “Sugarcane??”

My guy, you could start a reggae band with that name instead.

SPEAKING OF REGGAE-

No one knows how to pronounce Ganzhe properly besides Eric’s VA apparently? All the other VAs pronounce the gan closer to “van” when it’s supposed to be more like a “gone.”

Yes. That’s right.

Ganzhe is pronounced more like ganja.

You know.

The Marajuanas™

I’m a Hawai’i-born Chinese, first-generation local on my mom’s side and third-gen local on my dad’s. I grew up in Chinatown, so this was a section of the game that was near and dear to my heart. So I THINK and HOPE you’d understand my frustration to see that work needed to be done on the representation of my culture in this game. It was definitely a little fun to see my hometown modeled in this game- they got Maunakea Marketplace and Keikaulike Mall down pretty accurately and some of the motifs on the buildings made me do a double take because they were so familiar to me. BUT, man, this cultural aspect of the game needed A LOT of work.

SO TO FINALLY CLOSE THIS OUT

Japanese people love Hawai'i a lot.

I think Japanese people love Hawai'i more than Hawai'i locals do.

But as for portraying it accurately, I understand that no one can do it as well as a local islander can. Did I personally think they did the best they could?

………………ehh

Like, if you turn your brain off, it's fine??

If you turn your brain off and not let Palekana get to you, this game is fine.

It can be a little campy.

It can be a little Hollywood.

It can be a little Disneyland.

And despite my four pages of bitching about it, at the end of the day. It is fine.

So with that, I’ve hit like ten full pages on this Google Doc. Despite half of this review being me complaining about what they got wrong about Hawai’i culture in this game, I liked it a lot! When the game didn't have me strapped down for an episode of a J-drama or Hawaii Five-O, I liked running around town, fighting guys, making other guys fight other guys, and managing a resort island. If anything, this game actually motivated me a little to make more local-themed stuff, because as I notice people getting older, there’s less and less people to correctly preserve highly specific culture stuff like this. So a lot of that responsibility falls on me, y’know?

Thank you for making it to the end of this review! I know it was a lot. I don’t know what happened. I do recommend this game, but I ask that you do NOT finish the game with the takeaway that you have learned everything there is to know about Hawai’i.

I’ll fight you with a lawn chair (in Minecraft, for the FBI agent reading this) if you do that.

Other than that, I think you’ll have a lot of fun but also take your time because this game is, like, a 100 hour commitment. Not Persona 5 Royal long, but a commitment nonetheless.

#like a dragon #like a dragon infinite wealth #pickle art #sure uhh I guess I will put this in the tag #IF YOU FOUND THIS VIA THE TAG AND YOU REALLY LIKE THIS GAME #HI HELLO I DO TOO I JUST HAVE SOME STRONG OPINIONS ABOUT THE CULTURAL ACCURACY OF MY HOMETOWN #PLEASE DON'T YELL AT ME YOU CAN STILL ENJOY IT #anyway I've had this sitting around for like... most if not all of march #and I finally got the spoons to put the finishing touches on it #and come to terms that I'm probably not opening the game back up anytime soon

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