#my drinking club has a skydiving problem

[m--bloop]

Saw (B-Roll)

#my drinking club has a skydiving problem #saw #filming #j

[daydream-believin]

The Never-Ending Roadtrip (waffles)

summary: (part 1) or (part 5) <- reader joins douxie on his quest to protect nari. he’ll need company wont he. (part 6) do you like waffles? also appalachia and nj trollmarket fun. next-> (part 7)

warnings: swearing, fem! reader, maybe an alcohol mention, proof reading is for squares yo

word count: 3875

a/n: i’m sorry to anyone from PA but wtf. i also have no idea why this turned out the way it did. bon apetit.

no gif im trying to test something

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Y/n looked over at Douxie. The blue of his hair was starting to fade into a duller hue. While not as bright and bold as his personality, it was still very nice to look at. This muted blue was softer, almost comforting in a way. Y/n found herself running her fingers through it. It wasn’t just the color that was soft. Like feathers in her hand, she gently caressed the strands. The duller color made him look tired, older, and the permanent bags under his eyes didn’t help. She placed her hand on his face and ran her thumb over a said eye bag. He gave her a very subdued smile in return. His sunken eyes were so beautiful. Her favorite color. Or colors, one should say. They were like an earth toned opal. Y/n’s hand drifted down his face. She used her thumb to explore his cheekbones, tracing constellations in his freckles, and finally settled on his mouth, tracing his cupid’s bow. Douxie couldn’t help but break the stoic face he was trying to hold.

“As much as I hate to ask this, and I really do, but will you please cease what you’re doing, My Love. I’m trying to drive here.”

“Yes, I would also like to ask you to stop, miss L/n. Not wrecking the ship is worth you canning your pda for a while.” Archie added.

Y/n pulled her hand back and exaggeratedly pouted. She teasingly stuck her tongue out at Archie for good measure, but couldn’t help but dissolve into a snicker right after so it wasn’t very effective. But really, it wasn’t her fault that Douxie’s beautifully sculpted face was right there and demanding to be touched. She tried to distract herself by focusing on the scenery around them. North Pennsylvania was delightful, so it’d be a shame if she spent the whole time that they flew through it looking at nothing but Douxie. There was plenty of time for her to do that the rest of her life. It’s not like she didn’t have every freckle memorized already. Every single adorable little dot. Right, Pennsylvania. Appalachia. Y/n was a little disappointed they didn’t manage to go through West Virginia, being as north as they were. She really wanted to know what all the fuss was about. Country roads.

The mountains were hard to transverse through, so Douxie took the boat up high in the clouds. A little too high. The oxygen was thin. While this didn’t affect Archie the dragon or Nari the plant goddess, Douxie and Y/n were getting a bit woozy. Neither would get altitude sickness to the point of dying, thanks to that good ol’ curse of immortality, but their minds weren’t exactly operating at high speeds here. They passed through a low hanging cloud in a puff of fog.

Though they were over it, just being in the range of Appalachia felt odd. There was a presence that clung to the mountains. Even flying high up in the air, one felt as though they were being watched. Like the thousand eyes of the forest were upon them. Looking down below, hanging over the edge like Douxie hated her to do, Y/n saw a herd of deer that might as well be ants. Watching over the herd was a bigger, or maybe closer, stag on a peak of some sort. His antlers were covered in crimson. Y/n hoped he was just shedding.

There were pathways cutting through the trees below, some roads, some manmade trails, some rivers, some troll trails, and some deer trails. Some that wound around in endless curves, some that seemed to start from nowhere and stop at nothing, some that went round and round in a circle, and some that crossed over each other, effectively creating a maze of sorts. Y/n didn’t know why, but she was glad she was above the trees and not in them. Something within her gut told her that as beautiful as the scenery was, she did not wish to experience it first-hand. The deer below were beautiful, but there was something not quite right about them. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to turn down a game of ninepins either, and she could really go for a drink.

Douxie’s brain may have been foggy, but he could certainly see Y/n hanging over the edge again, tantalizing him. He couldn’t help but imagine 174 ways for it to end badly. He’d been pretty passive about this before but now that they were so high up, he had no choice but to be up front now.

“Y/n, My Love,” Y/n turned her attention to him, which also pulled her weight more towards the boat than the sky. Good. “do you mind being back near the center of the ship? I really don’t like you draping yourself over the railing like that.”

Y/n was getting sick and tired of people always trying to keep her away from edges, advising her not to climb the mountain, telling her to stay inside when there was only a light rainstorm. She could handle it. She wasn’t a fucking porcelain doll. She was not wearing a fancy gown that suffocated her, she could speak, her lips were not perfectly painted on. And she wouldn’t shatter. “Relax, Dewdrop. I’m fine. I’m not just gonna go skydiving for kicks. If anyone has had a penchant for falling through the sky recently, it’s been you, Hisirdoux. I can catch myself with anti-gravity spells, like you taught me. Besides, we walk across tall, crumbly, ancient non-osha compliant walkways all the time. You never had a problem then.”

“Well,” He huffed, “it would be one thing if I was there next to you, but I’m not, so could you please just try to stay safe when I can’t reach you?” Y/n was taken about at how quick his tone went from annoyed to desperate. She furrowed her brows. Doux sighed, “Look, it frightens me, okay. I know that nothing will happen, but what if it does? I can’t- I can’t lose you.” His tone got even feebler in his pleading. “And there’s so many ways to lose you. Especially with the Order on our tails. Please, just give me this peace of mind for at least one thing.”

Y/n stepped away from the railing, crossing over to Douxie. He opened his arm and she nestled into his side. Pressing her head against his chest, she mumbled, “Absolutely. I’ll just—I’ll just stay here then. Next to you. I’m sorry I worried you. That was the last thing I wanted to do.”

He leaned down to press a kiss to the top of her head. “Thank you, My Darling.”

~ ~ ~

The dipped down south to go through the top of Maryland and completely through Delaware to get to the south of New Jersey, in place of just going through Philadelphia. The city of brotherly love was not on the itinerary.  Philly, and the top of New Jersey, were just too densely populated to take a magic boat through. The airspace was filled with airplanes and skyscrapers. It was easier to go the roundabout way.

As they passed between Philly and Lancaster, they went by fantastically named towns such as Paradise the city, where the girls are pretty, Bird In Hand, Blue Ball, and Intercourse. Stellar. Y/n was starting to really like Pennsylvania. It was cursed ground. She made sure to get photographic evidence of every road sign. Douxie was happy to pose with them.

They took a pit stop in a town called Peach Bottom before leaving Pennsylvania. Y/n wanted to go through New Texas, since she was curious how somewhere in the original colonies could be a new Texas, but Nari could sense a river nearby, and wanted to seek it out. Peach Bottom. It was a cozy little town with a power plant that was dumping it’s waste into the riverside it was built on. Toxic river. Fun. Y/n made Douxie explain to Nari why she couldn’t get near the river or touch any of the water. Y/n wouldn’t have been able to stay as calm as Douxie could. There was nothing happening in the rural Pennsylvanian town. Nothing special about it unless you counted their countless nuclear admissions. The locals didn’t care for strangers, and that was alright with them cause they didn’t want to be here for any more than necessary for a restroom break. Dinner could wait.

The top of Maryland was great. Lots of rivers to make it up to Nari. There was just, an incredibly large walmart near the line. Just absolutely humongous whopper walmart. A leach whose name doesn’t even deserve to be capitalized, thank you very much autocorrect.

It took less than half an hour to fly right through the top of Delaware. Hi Delaware, bye Delaware.

Soon they were on the coast of south New Jersey, headed for a sleepy town called Monty. Monty was a town along the Cohansey, split across it with quite an impressive bridge between the two sides. As soon as the bridge became visible on the skyline, Y/n grabbed Douxie’s sleeve and tugged excitedly. She looked up at him with a big smile. Rest. At last, they were going to get to rest. Y/n made herself busy calling Jim to let him know that they were there so he could call someone else to let them know that they were there and to wait by the entrance for them. Neither Douxie nor Y/n had a horngazzle on them at the moment. Y/n had had one in her possession back in Arcadia, being book club buddies with Blinky, but alas that was destroyed along with their bookstore.

They hid that damn magic boat in the forest. While they did plan on staying with the trolls for a few weeks, Douxie didn’t put it back in its glass bottle quite yet, cause they were in fact taking it into New York not tomorrow but the next day. He covered the ground around it with a few more wards than necessary. Y/n threw up an illusion spell around it, as she had been all the other times they’d just left it in the woods, and thought the wards were overkill but didn’t say anything. They started on the trek to the base of the bridge.

The troll at the entrance greeted them cordially. He was a dark green color, with two massive horns resembling those of a longhorn cow, chiseled stone tattoos, and no clothes other than a tiny loincloth which made everyone but Nari uncomfortable. He let them in with flourish, as if he’d always wanted to do this and practiced it.

“Welcome to NEW JERSEY TROLLMARKET.”

Y/n was surprised at how well the town had come along within the two months the trolls had occupied the cavern. It wasn’t the Trollmarket she had known, there was no Blinky and no library, but still marvelous. The new hearthstone glowed warmly, very much alive and not making zombies. While looking pretty similar to the old Trollmarket, with a multitude of shops and homes carved into the mineral covered walls and formations, there was a sort of human touch to it now. Claire definitely had a hand in the planning and maybe the decorative features too. Or perhaps Jim. Y/n wouldn’t put it past the boy to be the one who designed the very elaborate crystal art flower bed she was looking at. Or that weirdly steampunk bridge. Funny thing, a bridge under a bridge.

Dictatious met them soon after they came in to show them around and to where they would be staying. The tour he gave them basically just included him walking them through the main street, waving his arms to various places and vaguely saying that they were shops but not what they sold, pointing out the pub, and then took them straight to their accommodations. Since the home that had been occupied by Blinky, Jim, and Claire was now empty, they’d be staying there, with the place practically to themselves. Dictatious also lived in said home, but rarely stuck around it for long now that his brother was gone.

“Alright, here’s your nest.”

Since Dictatious still slept in the nest that he shared with Blinky, he had given them Jim and Claire’s. The nests were just rocky bowls carved into the floor of the room, with a few comfort items. Thankfully, Jim and Claire had left theirs full of pillows and a couple thick cushions they must have taken from a couch. Unconventional, but better than sleeping on literal solid rock. Speaking of couches, there were way too many couches spread across the apartment. This entire place only had two rooms, a large living area and a nestroom, and yet there were five couches. Not to mention the extra-large easy chair Dic was currently lounging in. Okay, so one of said couches was technically a love seat, but still. There was no kitchen, which was surprising due to this being Jim Lake Jr’s home, and no table besides the one that three of the sofas were gathered around and a paper-covered work desk against a corner. There were glowing crystal lamps all throughout, lighting the house. All in all, interesting interior design decisions. The kids had definitely been trying to make it a more homey human dwelling but had limited options.

Nari nestled into the nest, happy that there were no blankets to smother her. Not even a minute passed and she was out like a light. Douxie and Y/n sat on one of the couches in the nestroom, watching the veggie lady snooze. Archie made himself comfy in Douxie’s lap, who absent mindedly stroked his familiar’s fur. They were underground now. Surrounded by inorganic matter. Some of that inorganic matter could fight, would be willing to fight, would probably be disappointed if there wasn’t a fight. The little devil on Douxie’s shoulder wasn’t really having to work hard. His stomach growled. They had opted to just not stop for dinner in favor of plowing right through their trip route. It was late, and dark, and Douxie really just wanted them to have a roof over their head before midnight. And now they did.

He looked over at Y/n. They had been a couple for an entire day now and he had yet to take her on a proper date. What a bad boyfriend he was. It’s not like Archie would want to come with them or anything either, since he filled himself with birds that didn’t know what hit them while they traveled. The dragon had even caught a hawk at one point, which wasn’t as impressive as it sounds, since Archie was a much faster flyer. He would be happy to watch Nari for them, surely. And Dic had given them a horngazzle so they could come and go as they pleased. It was settled then.

“Arch, watch Nari for us, please, we’ll be back in a pinch,” He grabbed Y/n’s hand to pull her off the couch, “C’mon, My Love, we’re going on a date.”

~ ~ ~

Turns out the only thing open past midnight in small town New Jersey was a waffle house. The perfect date. Y/n had thought it funny to watch Douxie try and deactivate all the fresh wards he had put around the boat. He had to be careful where he put his feet, and it was like he was doing a silly little dance. Ward trap ballet of his own barely thought-out design. At one point he stepped backwards to admire his work, triggering the ward behind him, and Y/n had to free him from the net. Lucky it was just a net one.

Entering the waffle house, they slid into the nearest booth, the one near the jukebox. They ordered what else but waffles. The food of kings and hungover college kids. Not just plain waffles, though. Douxie got chocolate chip and Y/ got strawberry, and they were going to combine them to make chocolate covered strawberry waffles. Everyone knows chocolate covered strawberries were the most romantic food, why else would they push them so hard around Valentine’s.

Douxie leaned in with his head in his hand. “So, tell me about yourself.”

Y/n laughed, decided to play into this bit. “Oh, I’m just a California lass, on her way to New York. Things have been crazy lately. Went to a very convincing renaissance faire, I’m harboring a fugitive, my roommate keeps hitting on me. Very stressful.  Sure am lucky I came across you, Mr. Handsome.”

“Lucky indeed.” Doux snickered.

Y/n pointed to the jukebox behind Doux, which he twisted around to see. “Have you ever heard ‘Last Night I Saw Elvis At Waffle House’?”

“No?”

“Oh, it’s a banger.” She got out of the booth and put a coin in the juke, making her selection. She slid back in with a Cheshire cat grin and Doux was kind of scared now, actually. As the current song ended and the song that they were waiting for began. Well, it was a song. About seeing Elvis in a waffle house. With a country tune he supposed someone thought was catchy in order for them to have recorded this. Douxie didn’t know what he had expected.

“Uh, wow.”

“Yeah, Ain’t it something. I loved this song when I was knee high to a grasshopper. All the waffle house jams really.”

“Your aunt let someone bring you to a waffle house? That’s not very proper.” Douxie chuckled.

“Oh, no, actually. Um, this was before my dad passed and my mother, ah, slipped.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Douxie rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry I mentioned it.”

“No, no. I’m fine Dewdrop. I can talk about it, really. And, like you said the other day, I’ve been focusing on the Now Love.” The silly waffle house themed song was still playing despite the air of seriousness that had fallen over the duo. It helped keep Y/n from getting too sad and dwelling on the memories she had just brought up. It was comical, really. A waffle house song keeping her grounded. She rubbed the palm of Douxie’s hand. “I still mourn my family, but it’s been so long that the pain’s but a dull ache now. As long as I don’t think too hard about it. If anyone knows about mourning it’d be you, Doux. I can’t imagine meeting hundreds of friends over my lifetime just to watch them all grow old and die while you just have to go on living.” She paused, eyes drifting downwards, “But I suppose that’ll be my fate anyways.”

Douxie reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s actually not that bad, once you get used to it. You just have to enjoy every bit of time you get. That’s what makes other magic friends so valuable, there are some permanent players on your team.” He let his hand linger under her jaw, pulling her face closer to his, “You have me. We have each other. We’re family. We always have been.”

“So I hate to interrupt, but, waffles.” The server put the plates she had been holding down onto the table. Douxie and Y/n pulled away from each other quick as lightning, sitting up straight in their seats. “Again, sorry guys.”

“Thank you.” The two chorused to their fleeting form in embarrassment. Their faces were fire engine red. Archie was right, they did get a little carried away with the pda. It may have been 12:28am in a waffle house but they were still in public. Grabby hands needed to be kept to themselves.

After dinner, neither Doux nor Y/n could bring themselves to go home quite yet, despite the nagging feeling to return to Nari. They loitered around woods, unsure of what to do. Leaning against the parked boat, Douxie got an idea. He put on the music on his phone, turning the volume all the way up and positioning it so it’d put out a better sound the best he could. The playlist he selected was actually the one he had of songs that reminded him of his beloved. Copying what Y/n had done last night, he held out his hand.

“Come on, dance with me, My Darling.”

Douxie twirled Y/n around in the night breeze that blew through the trees. This song was much faster than the one they danced to last time, and there was more energy between them. Y/n’s laugh echoed through the forest. This was a lot of fun, she could do it all night. Honestly, she could do anything all night if it was with Douxie. He lifted her up, like she weighed nothing. Seriously, how strong was this noodle armed wizard. She threw her arms around his neck, looking down to meet his eyes, a rare thing. Y/n kissed his nose, eliciting a happy giggle from his mouth.

He should have put her back down by now. Instead, he still held her up, transfixed by her face ringed in moonlight, like a halo. She noticed the awestruck look on his face, kissing him properly, yet it did nothing to pull him out of his stupor. He had one thought running over and over in his mind. Marry me. But, he couldn’t say that. A proposal had to be special, not after a waffle house date. Their first date, mind you. He couldn’t possibly jus-

“Marry me, Dewdrop?”

Well apparently he couldn’t but she absolutely could.

It took him a moment to take in her words, shocked out of his overthinking. The biggest grin spread across his face as he giddily spun her around in his arms. He finally put her feet back on the ground, crashing his lips into hers. Y/n brought a hand up to drag through his hair and left the other to slide down his back. No battle for dominance, Douxie’s tongue was definitely the one leading here. He just couldn’t believe it. It was if she had read his mind. It was still hard for him to believe she wanted him in the first place, but this much? If this was the afterlife he must surely be in heaven. One makeout session later, Y/n rasped “So I’m guessing that’s a yes?”

“Let’s sign the papers tomorrow.”

~ ~ ~

Despite the uneasy feeling they had both had about leaving Nari alone for so long, she was perfectly fine. In fact she hadn’t even moved an inch form the spot they left her in. Like they never left at all. Archie was asleep on that couch, as peaceful as ever. They’d tell him the news in the morning.

Y/n climbed into the nest and dragged Douxie down with her. After getting comfy on the array of cushions, he opened his arms and she nestled into his chest. She could feel his hands rest on her back. Perfect. It was calming, listening to his heartbeat, being lulled to sleep with the rhythm that gave proof that her beloved was alive. A steady beat that reassured her he was there, he was there. He wouldn’t leave her again.

*** check notes for chapter illustrations lmao

#douxie x reader #douxie x y/n #hisirdoux casperan x reader #hisirdoux x reader #douxie casperan x reader #douxie imagine #douxie casperan imagine #hisirdoux casperan imagine #hisirdoux imagine #tales of arcadia x reader #douxie #toa douxie #hisirdoux casperan #toa hisirdoux #douxie casperan #my writing

[anestheticrage]

Be me: Japanese honor student🎓, 15, with half a brain and even less of a plan. Hunting bitches by day and witches by night. Livin that dank only child✌️ life while mom n dad yeet all over the globe, leavin me plenty of time to forget not to make 2 lunches for myself #quirky 😜

no time for socialization or basic electronics skills ???📱??? when your best friends are an alien demon rabbit🐰👽 and the inexplicable Hole ™ in your brain. lmao, btw did i mention im ✨M✨A✨G✨I✨C✨A✨L✨

dreamin bout my 2D waifus again when familiar pink haired cancer patient dances through my brain passin out fliers: Kamihama Meguca Dating Service: Sponsored by Cult of the Magius. 250 stones per session 🤔

seems legit, Mr. Moneybags. wasn't spending my unwieldy sack of gemstones on anything else anyway. lets pull 💎💎💎

first up we have Redhead Radagast and her plethora of plants. 🌿☺️🦎

anndd, nearly dies immediately. 

well not off to a great start but i guess shes pretty cute at lea- oh FUCK its her girlfriend, Tsundere Poseidon😒🔱💦, and their exasperated, straight and single Sword Mom 😔🗡️🔥. fml gonna have to save up for the next pull. might as well play a few rounds with what i got tho. 

get in some good girl talk about things like school, color coded hair styles, body count, permanent soul damage, and our personal demon pacts. ya know, the usual 😚 . realize my dark backstory seems to be missing, so the girls take me to Ketchup Queen Sappho 🍅🥧 (wtf?) to molest my glowy egg stone. whatevs, more action than ive had since Kuroe 🖤 got added to the story anyway

the gang agrees it's time to hunt down the cutest rabbit pimp 🕶️🐇💵 in the city. >> say 🎵mukyuuu🎵 one more time and ill hug you so hard my backstory will pop right out, you adorable fluffy bastard. plz be my new best friend 💕

Form brand new friendship pact with Kyubae, and remember that my lil Sis 🐥 was always the best wingman for pickin up magic chicks, and kept her side of the room so spotless i forgot she existed. whoops 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ Maybe if I find her i can stop paying these exorbitant pull fees.📵💎

speaking of which: hot damn this week's featured bachelorette is a 19 year old model and magical detective🔎 with massive levels of PTSD and self loathing 🥵💙💦 more likely to stab you or dramatically jump off a rooftoop than utter a single positive comment. wow, maybe i really COULD find true love…

... if i had MORE THAN A 1% FUCKING DRAW CHANCE. 😡 smh

hard to make much progress finding sis or winning the broken heart of a hard boiled detective amidst the never ending lover's quarrel of the Trident Vine Lesbians. 💔 Sword Mom tells them if they don't behave a monster will take them away. LOL classic mom 🤣

>>>HOLY FUCK IT DID

declare all-out war on urban legends, starting with staircases ⚔️ to reunite the dysfunctional trio, and hope that I net a way better lineup with the next 10x pull. at least sad sleuth lady came to help out. they say combat is the best way to bond wi-   and there she goes off the rooftop again 🙄 fml

alright that got way off track, we need a fresh start, away from all the loli drama. how bout a little B&E🔓🔨🤷🏻‍♀️ at the local house of worship to clear my head. ahh nothing like the unanswered prayers of the masses to get you in the mood for another wasted pull, and the 🔥 MIGHTIEST 🔥 headache you could ask for with a side of Double Cooked Pork 🐖🍜 (meh 5/10🧾)

venture forth into the spiritual unknown with your new human flamethrower🔥🌻🧡 and ask your favorite private eye to please, for the love of Eve, trade Meguca accounts with me~~~ Head through the eastern spirit portal to meet up with hologram propaganda sis and detective crush's evil ex, who joined a dating-app cult (#fuck) and also turned into the moon?🌕?(that's rough buddy)

get ambushed by Acid Horse on Wheels 🌈🐴 and vomit up my soul so hard that its time for a crossover episode. T U R F F F   W A R R R *que operatic harmonies* 💛 Blondie with the hair drills and enough attitude and guns to fill up a noble phantasm tries to ban my account permanently, but PI heartthrob denies her admin privileges. aww babe i didn't know you cared. 😭♥️

get kidnapped by my new true love and go back to her place 😏  defs enough empty rooms to house five emotionally traumatized girls and at least two ghosts hehehe👻 XD 💚🃏💜🎸 decide to form the anti-gossip brigade and recruit my blazing sunflower after getting ambushed by the witch living in my fruit loops🥣

❌outvoted 2:1 that cults are bad. mf. fiinneee one last pull to round out the team and then I'll delete the app. cmonnn Karin 🎃~

OH HELL YEAH TWO FOR ONE.

Always wanted a daughter 💜🔨🐄 with a penchant for pissing off the local Martial Arts & Books Club and drinking suspicious liquids offered by total strangers. Well if it's good enough for her AND the sexy mayadere with enough game to seduce a mermaid, might as well get in on that myself. 

#curseddrank 🤢 0/24 would not recommend to a friend, 'cept maybe Ria

win alot of cash 🤑, blow up a fountain, meet the pied piper²🎶🖕, moon cult, monochrome feathers, something about liberation✊🏻; adopt temper tantrum cow girl. aces 💜🥩

Next up!!! skydiving with DJ Hammer! Jump to apparently-not-certain death after suicidal A.I. 💚💾🗼 tells you to rescue her hostage before they run out of Radiohead albums and have to move on to Thom Yorke's solo discography. save the invisible shield kitten 💚👑😿 from happiness and get chased through the internet by the sexiest homicidal Paint Pallette 💚🎨😈 since Caravaggio. (apparently green is the color of the digital apocalypse. i’m deleting Kako from my friend's list)

that’s it, fuck this app. 250 stones 💎 per-life-threatening-experience is more than i’m willing to deal with 😓 don’t wanna mess with the perfect nuclear family anyway. we've already got: 

✔️the two emotionally traumatized moms with memory and commitment issues

✔️the adhd daughter with anger management problems and a giant hammer

✔️the psychologically abused scizophrenic cat

✔️and the eccentric aunt with crippling anxiety

#squadgoals

now that were done hoarding bitches, its time to hunt the witches. and the bitches makin the witches. btw did i mention the witches ARE the bitches! AND WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!? 📽️⁉️💀 wait fuck lets back up a second

This is Nemo📕 and Token🧪 and they have all the answers but prefer if you only ask vague questions in exchange for vague responses so they can fill in the rest by discussing their superior intellect 🧠 at length. not to mention they built that dating app, so of course everyone in my harem decides to be a FUCKING. TRAITOR.🤬

cept waifu prime ofc 🥰💙. [PTSD > brainwashing] 'yOu CaN bE tHe LeAdEr NoW'. i have been from the very beginning you traumatized Hinedere nightmare. maybe if you weren't so caught up collecting surrogate daughters you would've noticed IM👏THE👏ONLY👏 ONE👏PROGRESSING👏THE FUCKING👏PLOT✨

rescue the rest of dysfunctional found-family™ from selves before my adorable firebender burns down Disnihama🎡🔥😱 during her weekly anxiety attack. (love the makeover T B H) 

CHAPTER 8: Magical Girl Massacre🩸🗡️

   - everyone has like, the shittiest day ever

   - the new Pope really needs to be extradited from the church

   - make friends with a really pretty tree 🌺🌲✨

i swear, if i don't finish this god damn story in time to get that free pull im gonna beat the shit out of every mirror i find in that giant mansion that i haven't even had any time to even mention yet. 🖕🏚️ let alone EVERYTHING happening with the prequel [fuck you, I'm the star] girls 💗💜💙💛❤️️ and their multidimensional melodrama. We don't need that many repetitive af episodes to emphasize that Homo-ra is a shitty person. we've all seen Rebellion. 🙄

NO, I DONT CARE IF YOU WANT SAPPHO'S BACKSTORY, I ONLY HAVE 79 STONES LEFT AND IF YACHAN FINDS OUT I HAVEN'T DELETED THE APP YET IM GONNA HAVE TO GO SLEEP IN WITH SANA 😭💎💸😠

uhhhggggg where were we… Topple a cult and burn down Hotel Denoument only to realize that Sis was fused with the dating app servers this entire madokafuckin time (told ya she was the best wingman 😊). 

Dilemma: Sis =🥚, Triumvirate of Trouble want 🐣. What do? vote now:

Help Hatch - IIIIIII

Not Do That - IIIII

What The Actual Fuck Is Going On - IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Lets just fight everyone until something good happens.

🔥🔫🔥🗡️🔥😱🔥🌆🔥😱🔥🛡️🔥💣🔥

Kill (???) the artist-in-chief of the italian reindeer murder police after teaching her the true meaning of Christmas 🎄 hatch 🐣lil Sis and realize she WAS your wingman all along🐰 MUKYUUUU! we're just gonna ignore how much trouble it would have saved if you'd just mentioned that. "yOu DiDnT aSk..." 

FUCK YOU SPACE BITCH. ONCE AN INCUBATOR ALWAYS AN INCUBATOR 🖕🐇🔪

anywho, somewhere along the lines we of course summoned the Antichrist ⚙️ because why not raise the stakes to max and still not kill off a single character. Madofuckinkami, can we PLEASE wrap this up. 😩💤

feathers (not the culty kind, tfm) rain from the sky, and the power of friendship and not having the Urobutcher 🔪🩸as a lead writer saves our peacefully sectioned off alternate reality 😇

TL:DR fuck cults, real life waifus DO exist, don't sell your soul to space rabbits, or your stones to megacorporations. Enjoy arc 2 on the JP server with your shitty translation patch you filthy fuckin weebs 

Yours Truly, 

- Thirsty Weeb Eroha 💗💎😘 

#magia record #magireco #pmmm #iroha tamaki #magical girls #puella magi madoka magica #magia record anime #gen urobuchi #waifus #weebs #thirsty weeb iroha #shitpost #yachiyo nanami #mitama yakumo #kaede akino #rena minami #momoko togame #sana futaba #tsuruno yui #aniplex #magia record na #i love this game so much #and im devastated that the servers are closing #yes this is how i deal with emotions #gatcha #fuck aniplex #i hope this brings a few laughs to some of you #Tsuruno is best girl #<3

[plusultrabitchez]

Rooms on Fire Chapter 21: Vegas Part 2

The next morning was chaotic. Everyone was trying to eat and get ready and at the same time being grumpy. Mina was taking too long in the bathroom and Jirou and Tsu had to use Kirishima and Bakugou's bathroom. Yaoyorozu, Iida, and Midoriya did their best to mitigate things between everyone, but the shit storm raged on. You sat criss cross applesauce on the counter in some pj shorts and one of Hitoshi's shirts. Hitoshi stood next to you and poured you and him some coffee. "Got enough for another cup?" Bakugou asked gruffly rubbing his eyes as he entered the kitchen. "Mmmhmm." Hitoshi nodded and quietly poured him a cup and handed it to him. The two men leaned against the counter on either side of you as all three of you watched chaos ensue. You all took a sip of coffee and let out a collective sigh. You smiled and lightly bounced up and down as your coffee warmed you up and you kept sipping. Hitoshi and Bakugou smiled at you and sipped their own coffee. You were too cute for words.

"Aren't you just taking them to the spa today?" Hitoshi asked you. "Yup." You sipped more coffee. "So they're freaking out and getting all done up for nothing?" Bakugou asked. "Yup." Hitoshi chuckled and shook his head. "Why haven't you told them?" "Chaos reigns." You said evilly as you set down your coffee before hopping off the counter. "God I forget how short you are sometimes." Hitoshi said rubbing the top of your head. "Yeah you would have to get a step ladder to get in someone's face." Bakugou teased. You smirked and activated your quirk and shoved them both back a few feet. "And yet I can still kick both of your asses." You smiled sweetly at the both of them before grabbing your coffee and walking out of the kitchen, leaving Hitoshi and Bakugou alone.

"So uh..." Hitoshi had no idea what to say. He knew that neither he or Bakugou were fans of small talk. "Yeah..." Bakugou didn't know what to say either. They finished their coffee in silence as they watched you try to calm everyone down. It was something you had a gift for. Within 5 minutes everyone was calm and joking around as they got ready for the day. "I don't know how she does that." Hitoshi thought out loud. "It's kind of annoying." Bakugou grumbled. Hitoshi chuckled. "Sometimes yeah." "If you're arguing with her she just does that thing with her eyes and gives you that look and you forget what you were mad about." Hitoshi laughed. "Nice to know I'm not the only one that face works on." They watched you as you gave that face to a grumpy Kaminari and his demeanor instantly change and smiled lazily at you. Hitoshi and Bakugou laughed. "I think it works on anyone that is attracted to women." Bakugou washed his cup out on the sink. "She's like a siren or some shit." "I swear that's actually her second quirk." Hitoshi said as Bakugou took his empty cup and washed it. Hitoshi thanked him and was surprised how civil and considerate Bakugou was being. Maybe he wasn't just a raging asshole.

Eventually everyone was rounded up and one their way to separate activities. You were taking the girls to the spa where they could be pampered all day. You thought that Yaoyorozu was going to have a aneurysm when she saw the list of available spa services. Spas weren't really your thing, but the other girls were loving it and it was great to spend some quality time with them. You decided to do a deep tissue massage, relaxing salt cave, and steam room. "Mina, Truth or Dare?" Yaoyorozu asked while sipping her tea. Mina thought it over for a moment. "Hmmm, Truth!" "What is something that people think you would never do but actually have?" She asked. "Oh nice one Momo." Tsu said "Oh that's easy!" Mina said. All of you leaned in for her answer. "Anal!" You all spat out your drinks and collapsed to the floor screaming. Some out of laughter. Some out of terror.

"My turn! Ochacko! Truth or dare?" Mina asked. "Ummm Truth I guess." She replies sheepishly. "How is Midoriya in bed?" Poor Ochako. You had no idea someone could get so red. "I uh, I mean he's great. He's very sweet and romantic about things." "Is Midoriya the only guy you're ever been with?" Mina asked. "Um well yeah." There was a collective "Awwwwww" from all the girls. . . Hitoshi was taking the boys to something a little more adventurous. "Dude I've always wanted to do this! I can't believe I'm finally going skydiving!" Kirishima said excitedly. "Me too! This is going to be great!" Midoriya cheered. "Yeah just make sure not to die. I'll never hear the end of it." Hitoshi said adjusting his gear. "I didn't take you for someone would actually have the balls to jump out of a plane at 13,000 feet." Bakugou said slightly impressed. Hitoshi smirked. "Believe it or not I actually like extreme sports." "I'm not surprised Shinsou. I feel you have to be a ballsy dude in order to date (Y/N)." Kaminari laughed. "Dating that woman is an extreme sport." Bakugou said which made everyone laugh. "Yeah you're not wrong." Hitoshi said with a small chuckle. "Umm wait a minute..." Sero said quirking an eyebrow and turning to Bakugou. "How the hell would you know?"

The group went dead silent. Hitoshi, Kirishima and Midoriya looked at one another. They all kept forgetting what happened between you and Bakugou was supposed to be a secret. "I partnered with her for years don't you think I know what a pain in the ass she is?!" Bakugou barked before jumping out of the plane and plummeting to the ground. "Good save." Hitoshi thought to himself.

Kirishima was the next one to jump, followed by Iida, Sero, and Midoriya. "Your turn Kaminari!" Hitoshi called out over the roaring engines. Kaminari was as white as a ghost. "I-I don't know about this Shinsou!" "It's perfectly safe! I'll jump with you!" Hitoshi held out his hand. Kaminari reached with a trembling arm and took Hitoshi's hand and dove out of the plane together. Kaminari puked on the way down and passed out once they hit the ground. . . "Hitoshi, we're going to be late." You giggled as you tried to do your hair while Hitoshi kissed your neck. "I can't help it. You look so fucking sexy." He said rubbing his hands up your figure. You were wearing black high waisted pants that were skin tight and a black lace bustier with purple doc martens. You lightly blushed as Hitoshi continued to shower you with compliments and kisses.

"You can have your way with me tonight when we get back." You said finishing your cat eye makeup and walking out of the bathroom. Hitoshi smirked as he sat on the edge of the bed and leaned back on his hands. He was wearing dark jeans, a black v neck shirt, combat boots and his leather jacket. Damn he looked good. You sauntered over to him with a sultry smile. He bit his lip as he watched your hips sway as you walked. "I'm going to have to fight dudes off of you all night." You chuckled and encased your hand in your energy fields. "Don't worry, I got that covered." He pulled you onto him and kissed you hard, his fingers tangling in your hair. You kisses became heated and you felt your core tighten.

"Hey guys we're ready to g- OH GOD I'M SO SORRY!" Kirishima turned as red as his hair and ran out of the room. Hitoshi and you groaned and stood up. "Seriously, it's like having kids." He grumbled. "We're going to have to think long and hard if we want those." You huffed before looking down. "Speaking of long and hard..." Hitoshi glared at you as you as you smirked at his bulge. . . On your way to the club, Hitoshi couldn't help but be overly aware of all the men looking at you. He wanted to go put his arm around you, but you and the other girls were walking in front talking about something. "Shinsou, dude, good job!" Kaminari said throwing his arm over Hitoshi's shoulder. "What do you mean?" "Today has been killer!" He said giving him a playful punch. "Yeah! I've been having a really good time!" Midoriya beamed. "Oh that, uh yeah no problem guys. I got more where that came from." "Hell yeah!" Sero fist pumped. "Hey Iida!" Ochako called out. "Yes?" "Truth or Dare?" "Hmmm, perhaps I'll try a Dare." He said clenching his fist in determination. "I dare you to walk on your hands until we get to the club. You can have someone hold your legs if needed." "I am up to the task!" He yelled practically diving onto his hands. "Wow Iida, you're really good at that." Tsu said as Iida walked on his hands like it was second nature. "Have you practiced this or something?" You asked. "No I guess I'm just naturally dexterous." He said as he concentrated on where he was going.

You all reached the club and applauded Iida as he returned to walking on his feet. Your group was soon discouraged by the long line outside the club. "Ah man! We'll never get in!" Kirishima whined. "Give her a minute." Bakugou said and pointed at you who was already sauntering over to the bouncer. They couldn't hear what you were saying but you were smiling and giggling and chatting up a storm with the bouncer. He was a giant stern looking guy, but within a minute of talking to you he was smiling and even blushing. You looked over to friends and motioned them to come on over while the bouncer opened the door for you. You smiled and pinched his cheek and he blushed violently. "How the fuck does she do that?" Sero asked. "Siren." Hitoshi and Bakugou said at the same time.

Once in the club you paid to get a VIP table in the back and promptly ordered bottle service. "Oh my god you guys let's dance!" Mina said dragging Kaminari and Sero to the dance floor. "Come on Kubo!" She called out. "Oh yeah uh hard pass." You chuckled as you poured shots for everyone on the couches. The three of them went on without you and you sat down on the couch between Hitoshi and Ochako. You all took your shots. You laughed at the face Ochako made. "Whoa that's intense." She squeaked.

"Okay Iida. Balls in your court." You said. "Ah yes!" He put his finger to his chin and thought for a moment. "KIRISHIMA!" He stood up and pointed at the sturdy hero. "DARE!" He yelled and smiled devilishly. "Spin an imaginary Hula Hoop for 3 minutes!" "What?!" You watched the two bicker back and forth. "I don't know what type of Dare I was expecting from Iida, but...that's a good one actually." Kirishima groaned and got to work gyrating his hips in circles like he was hula hooping. You and Ochako were giggling and recording the whole thing. "30 more seconds!" Iida said looking at his stop watch.

"Huh, this is actually a pretty decent ab workout." He said as time came to an end. Bakugou was cackling. "You look so stupid shitty hair!" "SCREW YOU MAN! TRUTH OR DARE!" Kirishima yelled getting in Bakugou's face. "DARE! I AIN'T NO PUSSY!!!" Bakugou barked standing up and emitting small explosions from his hands. "Choose someone in the group to slap you in the face!" "What the fuck kind of Dare is that?" "I'll do it." Hitoshi said raising his hand. "Screw you mind fuck! (Y/N)! Slap me!" "I thought you'd never ask." You said and darted over to Bakugou and slapped him across his face. He barely flinched and growled. "What the hell! You held back! What you think I can't take a full on slap?" "Oh excuse me for trying to be nice!" You snapped. "Last time I hit you I punched you into a car!" "Wait what? Why?" Jirou asked. "None of your business!" You and Bakugou snapped at her. "Whoa. You can tell they partnered for a long time." Yaoyorozu said to Jirou as the two if you continued to bicker.

"Truth or Dare shitty girl?!" "Dare mother fucker!" "Go dance up on pinky out there!" He pointed to Mina who was dancing with Kaminari and Sero. "What?!" "No less than three songs!" He yelled. "Fine! I'm going to dance up on her so fucking hard! Hell! Maybe I'll take her home afterwards!" "Whoa wait what?" Hitoshi was trying to process what was happening. He watched you stomp out onto the dance floor and found Mina and immediately started dancing with her.

"Bakugou really brings out her competitive side huh?" Midoriya said. Hitoshi watched you dance with Mina on the floor. He had to admit it was kinda hot. The way you moved your hips with the music and smiled and laughed with Mina was really hot. "Look what you did Bakugou!" Iida yelled as he pointed to Kaminari who had a bloody nose. "Kaminari is going to have a stroke!" Bakugou looked very proud of himself as he watched you dance.

You grabbed Sero and pulled him close and whispered something to him. The group watched you two as you had a conversation. Sero looked nervous as he made his way back to the VIP area. "What did she say to you?" Ochako asked. Sero laughed nervously. "Umm well..." he looked around and grabbed a handful of ice cubes from the ice bucket. "Sorry Bakugou." Sero said before grabbing the hem of his pants and shoving the ice down Bakugou's pants. Sero booked it back to the dance floor while Bakugou raged and the rest of the group died of laughter. "I love that woman!" Hitoshi cheered.

The night continued on you were all getting rather inebriated and the truth and dare game kept escalating. -So far Kaminari was dared to go ask for a girls number in front of her boyfriend which got him smacked. -Tsu was dared to swing from one side of the club to another using her tongue while yelling like George of the Jungle. -Ochako was dared to act like a burrito for ten minutes. She did a great job and really got into character. -Midoriya was dared to sing an opera about how he spent his time in Vegas so far. He was a little pitchy, but overall great performance. -Yaoyorozu chose a truth which lead her to reveal that the weirdest thing she had created was a strap on. -Bakugou was dared to lick the floor, but paid his way out of that one. "That's fucking disgusting!" He yelled. -Hitoshi was dared to do the worm and he was great at it. -Jirou chose a truth which lead her to reveal that the most embarrassing thing in her room was the Taylor Swift discography.

"Kubo! Truth or dare!" Jirou asked. You chugged your drink. "Truth." "How many times have you two banged since arriving in Vegas?" "Oh wow, ugh okay. Five." You answered. "HA! Pay up!" Kaminari yelled and Jirou and Kirishima gave him money. "What the fuck there was a bet?" You and Hitoshi said. "I bet them that it had to be at least 3+ times!" He said proudly. "How'd you figure that?" Hitoshi asked. "Even though this is only our second day here, I know if Kubo was my girlfriend I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off her with all her sexy outfits she's been wearing." Hitoshi was about to smack his friend, but Bakugou beat him to it. He smacked Kaminari across the head and let out a few small explosions. Not enough to seriously injure him, but enough to teach him to keep his mouth shut. "Thanks dude." Hitoshi said giving Kaminari a glared. Bakugou just grunted and nodded in response.

You wrapped your arm around Hitoshi's waist. "Truth or Dare Tiger?" He grinned at you. "Truth." "Want to make it six when we get to the hotel?" Hitoshi smirked as a light blush painted his cheeks. "Yes."

Your friends groaned and and teased you. "We'll have to listen out for you this time!" Kaminari joked. You threw an energy field at Kaminari which knocked him off the couch and onto the ground. "Okay that's fair!" He said as he stood back up. "I deserved that."

It was getting late and you guys had a early day so you all started to stumble back to the hotel. "(Y/N)?" Ochako slurred while hanging on to your shoulder. "Yeah suga?" "Can I do that thing to your *hiccup* to your hair?" You chuckled. "Yeah sure." Ochako squealed and clapped her hands together. The two of you stopped walking and you gathered all your hair over one shoulder and presented it to Ochako. The rest of your friends watched the two of you with curiosity. Ochako touched your hair caused it to float about your head much like Aizawa's hair does when he activates his quirk. "Now do the face!" She beamed. You crossed your eyes, stuck out your tongue and pulled the corners of your mouth back. Ochako was crying with laughter. The rest of your friends found it just as hilarious. Even Bakugou allowed a soft smile to take over his face as he watched you be silly with your friend.

Hitoshi laughed as his heart swelled. You were so fucking precious to him. You stopped making the face since you couldn't hold back your laughter, but your long hair was still floating in the air. He picked  you up into his arms and kissed you while starting to walk to the hotel. "Release!" Ochako called out and your hair fell down. Hitoshi put you down, but had his arm around you the rest of the way back.

Back at the hotel you let everyone know the game plan for the next day and what time they needed to be up by so that hopefully things would be slightly less chaotic the next morning.

Once back in your room, you kicked off your shoes, unbuttoned your pants and slithered out of them. Hitoshi came up behind you, already shirtless and started massaging your shoulders. You let out a happy hum as his strong hands went to work. Even though you already had a professional massage that day, the intimacy of his gesture made it 10x more enjoyable.

His hands moved from your shoulders and down your spine where he unhooked your bustier. The black lace garment fell to the floor and Hitoshi's hands moved to your hips and pulled your body flush against his and quickly slipped his hand in your underwear and his fingers between your wet folds. He smirked at your moan and leaned in and asked in his low gruff voice. "Ready to make it six gorgeous?"

#rooms on fire #shinsou hitoshi #mha hitoshi #bnha hitoshi #hitoshi x reader #shinsou x reader #bnha shinsou #mha shinsou #katsuki bakugou #bakusquad #bnha kirishima #kirishima eijirou #uraraka ochako #bnha ochako #midoriya izuku #deku midoriya #bnha midoriya #bnha ashido #bnha kaminari #mina ashido #kaminari denki #sero hanta #bnha sero #iida tenya #iida #mha iida #bnha yaoyorozu #bnha jirou #bnha tsuyu #chapter 21

[fardell24b]

Quinn’s Code 14 Wedding Trouble - Part 2

Quinn’s Code 14 Wedding Trouble – Part 2

It was uncomfortable. Daria figited. It was just as she had feared. The dress was ill fitted and to make it more infuriating, the seemstress was continually pricking her with a pin. She silently steamed. 'She is incompetent!' she thought. Not for the first time.

 “Nature didn't see fit to give you much in the way of hips, did she, dearie?”

 “That shouldn't be a problem!” Daria said, with a merely annoyed tone.

 “Turn around please.”

 “Oh, Scarlet, You grow lovlier by the day,” Jane said in a southern accent while batting her eyebrows.

 Daria sighed. “I'll kill you.”

 Jane merely smiled.

   Suddenly a voice that Daria had least expected to hear squeaked out her name. “Daria?”

 “Brittany?”

 Brittany Taylor, one of the cheerleaders at Lawndale High, had entered the bridal shop.

 “What are you doing here?” both asked at the same time.

 “Isn't it obvious?” An Arab shiek's in town to buy a few more wives,” Jane joked.

 “They're putting on a bridal expo in the gym. We're modelling,” Brittany explained.

 “A Bridal Expo, that's a good message to be sending to high school students...” Daria snarked. 'Why is Ms. Li doing that?' she pondered.

 “I wonder what sort of extracurricular activities would lead to a wedding...” Jane said.

 'I'm sure our Principal may have taken the idea into account,' Daria thought. She was sure that Jane was onto something.

 “What about you? Are you in a play or something?” Brittany asked.

 “No,” Daria said. She had had enough.

 Brittany then went off...

 The 'seemstress' pricked Daria with a pin again, harder this time. “Ouch.”

 “Hold still. I'm having a hard time with your body as it is.”

 'That's it,' Daria thought.

 “You shouldn't have said that!” Jane said to the 'seemstress'.

 “I'm just underdeveloped!” Daria said with an edge to her voice.

 “I'm doing my best, dearie!”

 “Could you start again?” Daria asked, trying to calm down.

 “That would be a good idea,” Jane suggested.

 “I won't!”

 “I'm not paying for it,” Daria added, with a calmer tone.

 “Fine!” the 'seemstress' said.

  Finally, Daria was ready. The seemstress had improved upon her second try, but still had made disparaging remarks about Daria's figure. 'I am going to blog about this!' she thought. She was sure that Jane and Jennifer hadn't discovered all of her blogs.

 Saturday, March 25, 2006

After a long drive, the Morgendorffers arrived at the Windsor Hills Resort for Erin's Wedding. “This is an expensive vehicle. Be careful with it,” Jake told the valet.

 “Yeah, right,” the valet said, just before driving off with Jake's Lexus.

 “Helen!” Rita Barksdale called.

 “Rita!” Helen called as she hugged her sister.

 “How are you, Jake?” Rita asked.

 “Well, I'm not that...”

 “Oh, the girls look lovely,” Rita interuppted. She indicated a man next to her. “Everyone, this is Paul, my beau.”

 “Hello,” Paul said,

“Paul Meyerson?” Jake asked.

 “Jake?” Paul asked. He quickly realised where he knew Jake from. “Jake and I were in boy scouts together. You bring your clubs?”

 Jake grumbled.

 “Dad, what was that you said about knowing how to pick 'em?” Daria asked. 'I guess, he's willing to see the best in Paul.'

 “Oh, Daria...”

  A sports car then arrived.

 “Who's that?” Daria wondered.

 “Aunt Amy?” Quinn asked.

 Amy Barksdale got out of the car. “I don't mind a few dents, but change the radio station and a your're a dead man,” she said with heavy sarcasm.

 “Amy, how delightful. I thought you weren't coming,” Rita said.

 “I wasn't, but I thought if you two could put aside years of bitterness and resentment, then so can I... for a day,” Amy answered.

 “Oh, Amy, why do you say such ridiculous things?” Helen asked.

 “Out loud?” Amy asked rhetorically as she passed between her sisters. “So, Jake. You're still with Helen, huh? Shows remarkable fortitude.” She turned to Paul. “And Roger. How's the skydiving going?”

 “Amy, Roger passed away. This is Paul,” Helen pointed out.

 Amy quickly recovered from her faux pas. “Oh, sorry. Paul, how do you do?”

 “Who's Roger?” Paul asked.

 “A female bovine failed to sufficiently break his fall,” Daria answered. She wondered how Paul would react to that.

 “Ick!” Paul responded.

 “He was one of the lucky ones,” Quinn said meaningfully.

 “Girls!” Helen admonished.

 “Hey, what's the point of a senseless tragedy if you can't find a little humour in it? I like the way both of you think, particularly you, Quinn.”

 Daria grumbled.

 “Now, Amy. I don't know where we're going to seat you...” Rita began as she lead her younger sister into the building.

 “I need a drink,” Helen said.

 Jake laughed.

 “Why are you laughing?” Helen asked.

 Jake stopped laughing as he followed his wife inside.

 “You know, Quinn, Aunt Amy's really weird,” Daria said, trying to stirr Quinn up.

 Quinn didn't take the bait. “Yes, she is,” she said. 'My kind of weird,' she added to herself. It was going to be great, catching up with her aunt.

  As the wedding party prepared for the actual ceremony, it was threatening rain. “Oh, it can't rain on Brain and Erin's wedding. It just can't,” one of the bridesmaids said.

 “That would be so awful. I couldn't stand it,” another said.

 “On the contrary. Rain is an ancient symbol of fertility. Every couple should be so lucky,” a teenage groomsman said in a monotone.

 “Oh, don't you see? A little rain won't spoil the happiest day of Brian and Erin's life,” a third bridesmaid said.

 Daria and Quinn approached them. “A little heavenly, isn't it Daria?” Quinn asked. 'I know she'd think the opposite...'

 “You must be Erin's cousin,” the third bridesmaid said.

 “We both are,” Daria said.

 “I shall introduce you to your escorts,” the bridesmaid said. She lead them to a handsome young man. “Daria, Quinn, this is Garrett. Garrett will be with Quinn.

 “Of course,” Daria said. She walked off with the bridesmaid.

 “Quinn, you're just about the loveliest thing I ever saw,” Garrett said. “I kinda imagined the hair would be longer though,” he added.

 “You like it?” Quinn asked as she did a pirouette. “It's been like this for a year or so,” she added.

 “Yes,” Garrett answered.

 “That's cool. Say, you like games?”

 “Daria, this is your escort,, Lurhman,” the bridesmaid said, indicating the monotone teen from earlier. She then left.

 “Of course,” Daria said.

 “How do you do, Da-rye-a?”

 “It's Daria, actually.”

 “Sorry.”

 “So, Luhrman. Is that your first name or your last name?”

 “Does it matter?”

 “Not really,” Daria said.

   Lawndale

The Bridal Expo at Lawndale High was in full swing. Charles Ruttheimer III was announcing. “Here's lovely Brittany in a sleeky and latiny number from Lanurb that says that this may be my wedding day, but dammit, I want to dance!”

 Her boyfriend, Kevin Thompson, was in the stands. But he was sleeping. His friend Michael 'Mack' Mckenzie shook him to wake him up. “Wake up! It's Brittany!”

 “What? Huh?” Kevin said. He accidently spilled soda on his pants. He stood up. “Oh man!”

 “I think you're blowing our cover,” Mack said.

 “I don't think so!” Kevin objected.

  Brittany saw Kevin in the stands. “Kevin, what are you doing here?”

 “Surprise, babe!”

 “Ooooh!” Brittany projected as she walked off the stage.

 “Now you have,” Mack said.

  On the other side of the hall, Jennifer and three of her other friends, Cindy Brolsma, Kristen Leung-Bell and Stacy Rowe, laughed.

   Leeville

The reception had started. Lurhman mumbled something. Daria couldn't make it out. “What did you say?”

“Just a little pointless chit chat. Forget it. Would you like another soda?”

 “No thanks,” Daria said.

 “Or shall we just split a bottle of drain cleaner?” Daria glared at him. “Please be assurred my remark was intended in jest, and not as an incitement to any type of self-destructive behaviour.”

 Daria was impressed. She thought that they could get along. “You're not from around here, are you?”

 “Not very far,” Lurhman answered, his voice unchanged.

  Quinn was in over her head. She had gained the minister's attention. She was sure that it wasn't the right kind of attention. “A wild, rolling, surging ocean of love, on which we, as mere individuals, have no control. Do you understand what I'm saying?”

 “A little,” Quinn said as she tried to put to words her objections. Daria came by.

 Hi, Quinn. Hi Father,” she said.

 “Actually, I'm a minister, not a priest,” the minister clarified.

 “The important thing is, you're the voice of morality in the community,” Daria said as she passed by to the bathrooms.

 “You know, my sister has a point!” Quinn said, backing off.

 “I don't get your meaning,” the minister said.

 “I think you do!” Quinn said, backing off again.

 “Wait!”

 “Gotta go!”

 “Wait!” he said, a little louder.

  Meanwhile, when she had done her business, Daria found Amy at the sinks. “I hate myself in a formal dress, and everyone else, too. You don't look too thrilled at things, either.”

 “Oh, no. I'm overjoyed to be at this big family event. Day to day life isn't humiliating enough,” Daria responded.

 “Let's see, you're in college now, or something,” Amy guessed.

 “Still high school, unfortunately,” Daria responded. 'She has been out of contact with Mom long enough to have lost contact,' she thought.

 “I have some vague memories of high school, but these days, you all carry weapons, right?”

“Well, not to formal occasions like this.”

 “That's where you kids make your mistake,” Amy thought for a moment. “I thought when turned thirty I would stop feeling out of place at these things.”

 “You feel out of place?” Daria asked in surprise.

 “You didn't notice that my sisters are busy competing with each other that I don't even register on their radar?”

 “Sounds like Quinn and I,” Daria mused. “But I figured that you were above all that.” She paused. “I mean, you're kind of...” She trailed off, not wanting to use the word she was thinking of out loud to an adult.

 Amy knew what word she was going to say. “Cool?”

 “Um...”

 “I know, you can't say that to me. Law of the teenagers.”

 “Thank you for respecting it.”

 “When I was a kid, with Helen and Rita going at it all the time, all they left to me was to supply the color commentary. Then one day, I found myself all grown up, with my own point of view, and feeling no particular obligation to listen to anyone else's BS ever.

 “So it actually turned out really well,” Darai commented.

 “Unless I have to see my sisters at a wedding, yeah. Sarcasm. It's a wonderful way to deal.” Amy paused and put on her glasses. “But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?”

 Daria smirked.

   Lawndale

Mack and his girlfriend Jodie Landon met, Cindy Brolsma, Kristen Leung-Bell and Jennifer Burns. “You're sick of this expo too, huh?” he asked the three friends.

 “Yes,” Cindy answered.

 “I don't know why Ms. Li organised it,” Kristen said, with annoyance. She shook her head. 'She's out of control.'

 “You want to complain to her?” Jodie asked.

 “Yes,” Kristen answered.

 “I think so too,” Jodie said.

 “Let's do it,” Jennifer contributed.

“Sure,” Jodie said. “She should be in her office.”

  Soon, they found the Principal in her office.

  “Why are you here?” she asked as she looked up from the paperwork on the desk.

 “Asking why you organised the bridal expo,” Kristen said.

 “That is really none of your business,” the Principal protested.

 “You said the same thing about Amazon Models,” Jodie pointed out.

 The Principal was flustered. “Yes. And someone cracked my email and Paypal in order to get that Mercenary to visit!”

 “It wasn't anyone here,” Jennifer pointed out.

 “That is obvious,” the principal said. “I have my suspicions, but there is no proof. As far as the current Bridal expo is concerned. It's none of your business.” She paused for effect. “As far as that cracker is concerned, he or she will not hear about this. And if they do, they won't find out the reason. But I will know that unauthorised activities were carried out.”

 “Ms. Li. I have no idea what you're talking about,” Jodie said.

 “I know you don't, Ms. Landon,” the Principal said before Jodie could say anything more.

 'I do know, but I'm not saying anything,' Cindy thought. Quinn had told her her suspicions.

 “But the question is still valid,” Jodie pressed.

 “I am not answering. Good day!” the principal said.

 The group exited the office.

 “That didn't work,” Mack commented.

 “Obviously,” Kristen stated.

 Jodie turned to Jennifer. “Spill!” She said.

 “What do you mean?” Jennifer asked, with surprise.

 “You told Ms. Li that it wasn't anyone here. Therefore you do know who it was,” Jodie answered.

 “It's best that we talk elsewhere,” Cindy interjected.

 “Sure,” Jodie said.

  Leeville

“Oh, it was a lovely ceremony, wasn't it?” Rita asked.

 “It really was, Rita,” Jake answered.

 “I'm just so sorry Mom couldn't be here.”

 “Don't worry, she'll get to live it all vicariously when the bills arrive,” Helen commented. “Jake, how about getting me another glass of wine?”

 It was obvious she had had a few already. “Gee, honey, maybe you shouldn't...” he admonished.

Helen was having none of that. “Jake, I'd really like a glass of wine, now.”

 “Right!” Jake said as he left.

 “Helen, you're not bitter about this.”

 “Rita, please. Why why I be bitter?” she asked rhetorically. “You and Erin deserve the best. You always have.” She meant the last part to sting.

 “Oh, so I should be punished forever because I made a few bad decisions,” Rita retorted.

 Amy approached. “Hi. What are you two arguing about now?”

 “Arguing? We're not arguing,” Helen retorted.

 “Still mad because Dad gave Rita that MG and all you got was a Plymouth Valiant?” Amy asked.

 “My goodness, Amy, the things you remember,” Rita commented.

 “It was a Dodge Dart,” Helen added.

   Lawndale

Jodie, Mack, Kristen, Jennifer, Stacy and Cindy arrived at a pizza place frequented by Lawndale High students.

 “So, tell me about the cracking,” Jodie said to Cindy after they had ordered and sat down.

 “It's only Quinn's suspicion, it may be baseless,” Cindy said.

 “But you agree with her,” Jodie added.

 “I do,” Cindy said.

 “So, spill!” Jodie encouraged.

 “Quinn thinks that it's Andrea Hecuba,” Jennifer said.

 Jodie turned to Kristen. “And you agree?” she asked.

 “I agree,” Kristen said simply.

 “Why does Quinn think it's her?”

 “Strange vibes she has felt since joining the Programming Club and the fact that Daria used to subscribe to Conroy's magazine,” Cindy answered.

 “Let me get this straight, Quinn thinks that Daria asked Andrea to ensure that General Conroy would come into the school?” Jodie asked, picking up on the second part of Cindy's statement.

 “Yes,” Cindy answered.

 “Right,” Jodie said as she thought about it.

 “Clearly, cracking was involved. Ms. Li looked quite shocked when the General said that he had the email and Paypal receipt,” Mack pointed out.

 “I remember,” Jodie said. “But there's no reason to blame Andrea either. It could be all Daria, or another person entirely.”

 Jennifer remained silent. She didn't want to implicate Daria any more than she may have been already.

 “So, you want to keep an eye on both of them?” Mack asked.

 “Yes,” Jodie said.

 They then remained in silence until the pizzas arrived.

#amy barksdale #angela li #brittany taylor #charles 'upchuck' ruttheimer iii #daria #daria morgendorffer #fan fiction #helen morgendorffer #i don't #jake morgendorffer #jodie landon #kevin thompson #michael 'mack' mackenzie #quinn morgendorffer #rita barksdale

[arynchris]

Little bit of a dark holiday present for my Humans Are Space Orcs buddies.  Gawd, I love this stuff.  Never the same idea twice!

(Inspired in part by this other post over here ) So, this has been brought up before, but humans tell some scary stories.  For fun, even!  Ghost stories, old fairy tales, creepypasta, horror flicks, graphic video games, all kinds of stuff.  And we have done so for all of recorded history.  Well, maybe we’re NOT the only intelligent species in the galaxy to do so.  Maybe we’re NOT the only species who even invent frightening stories out of whole cloth, to encourage our offspring to obey, get stubborn people to keep out of contaminated zones, etc.

But humans are the only ones who tell stories about scary fellow humans.

Ythrexian scholar 675-designate-Luvius was troubled.  She had studied humans briefly in school, of course-- fascinating paradox species-- but she was a generalist, not a specialist.  Experts in the field of humanity had failed for generations to explain “criminal behavior,” so how could she hope to?  And yet, from the numerous frightened and confused information requests listed on her communication device, she was going to have to try.  She called Human mechanic Liantereasamackenzie-designate-Mackie to her meeting chamber.

The doorway decontamination field sterilized Mackie of ythrexian-hostile particles with a soft swishing noise.  “Ola, Luvius.  What can I do for you?”

Luvius lowered her posture slightly and replicated the sound of a human ‘sigh,’ indicating disappointment and mental overexertion.  Humans had instructed her that she over-used this behavior towards them, but it seemed warranted this time.  Just like the indirect method of problem reveal, to keep the human defensive and hopefully apologetic.  “Mackie, I have many requests today from the crew.  Some are quite typical and expected, but most of them are for the human term ‘axe murderer’?”

Mackie’s back straightened and her eyes widened.  “Why would they want--?!”  Then she blinked, paused.  Blinked again, and raised a hand to cover her gaping mouth.  Human facial cues were notoriously difficult to interpret, but such a dramatic elliptical mouth shape was uncommon and conveyed... Luvius checked her Restricted Access Cultural Handbook vol.Humans record... ‘horror,’ a type of emotional distress which can cause slowed reflexes or paralysis.  “...I had too much to drink last night.”

Luvius paused.  “...Alcohol, correct?  Do I remember correctly, that drinking alcohol is a human activity as well as a btri one, but humans achieve toxic overdose more quickly than btrixes?  Did you ingest too large a quantity?”  She wasn’t sure how that could be related to axe murderers, but one indirect reveal deserved another, she supposed.

Mackie nodded.  “Yes...  I forget what they called this one, but it was btrixes’ turn to introduce a new drinking game, and we all had a little too much.  Everyone had to tell a scary story from their clan or homeworld, and the better the scare, the more the group drank.  I don’t even remember what story I told... but...”

Luvius puffed her shoulder pinfeathers in aggressive bewilderment.  “How can you not remember what story you told?  Why would you tell a story that may end your species’ diplomatic relations with the entire Unified Gathering!?”

Mackie hugged herself with an obvious ‘sad’ facial cue and gazed at the floor.  Unusually quietly, she said, “Alcohol’s chemical affect on us involves muscle relaxation and slowed thinking.  But the more we drink, the worse it gets.  We lose our inhibitions... like a will to follow rules and not talk about restricted subjects.  Overdose causes memory loss.”

Luvius closed all her eyes.  This, at least, conveyed the same meaning to humans as it did to ythrexians.

“I’m so sorry, Luvius.”

She opened her eyes.  “Sorrow is appropriate!  I do not know how to answer these requests.  You are to blame for this incident, and yet it is my responsibility to incite the ensuing riot of consequences!  Whether you sorrow for the loss to your species or for the emotional and professional distress you cause me as one of your pack-bonded crew members, there is no more appropriate emotion.  Except contrition, perhaps.”

She watched Mackie blink, the human’s face contorting into a less scrutable facial cue.  “...But I am contrite.  That’s what ‘sorry’ means, most of the time-- it means I’m sorry because I screwed up, I feel guilty and want to fix it.”

“Does ‘sorry’ still indicate sympathetic sorrow?  I read that it is used--”

“It depends.” Mackie sighed and rubbed her arms.  “What it means is, ‘I feel sorrow because you are unhappy.’  But if the other person is unhappy because we ruined something, then it also means we feel guilty, contrite, because it’s impossible to feel empathy for someone without feeling responsibility for our part in it.”  She raised her gaze, parting her arms slightly, and spoke somewhat hesitantly.  “We feel guilty because.. we never really wanted to cause harm.”

“All Earth’s history aside.”

Mackie flinched.

Luvius didn’t, in posture or into the translation device.  “Mackie, I have to try and explain to the crew what ‘criminal’ is.  What ‘axe murderer’ is.  But I can’t.  I can’t understand why any of you would want to harm each other, and yet, you do.  So, explain to me.  Explain to me, so I can explain to them, and we can all proceed with the inevitable exclusion of your entire species from the Unified Gathering as the scary story of you gets out.”

Mackie sat down on the floor.

“Uh... what are you doing?” This was a complete breach of protocol.

Mackie looked up at her, slouching, glaring, with her legs splayed, bent, and crossed over each other at the ankles.  It looked bizarre.  “Sitting.  If the entire human race is about to be kicked out of the fun club, and it’s all my fault, then I don’t care anymore.  No one in Interplanetary Diplomatic Services is going to care, either-- and if they do, I still don’t care, because my life is already over after this.

“You want to know about crime and murder?  Listen up:

“You ythrexians are scared of predators, poisons, and accidents.  All the other species, scared of predators, poisons, and accidents.  Well, good.  You should be.  Those things suck.  But you know what sucks worse?  You know what we’re scared of?  Ourselves.  The darkness of a human heart.  You tell all these scary stories about disasters and monsters and the great unknown in the dark?  That’s all they are, to you.  Scary things that you may or may not know, but definitely can’t control, and they want to hurt you.  That’s us.  All those same disasters and monsters and accidents happen to humans, too, but we’re not scared of them.  You’ve seen us-- skydiving.  Mining underground.  Riding rockets to space because we don’t have anything better yet.  Overdosing on alcohol and everything else for fun.  We’ve been accused of letting species success go to our heads and cloud our survival instincts.

“No.”  The human’s voice started modulating into frequencies that reminded Luvius of ancient danger songs.  “Those are things we can see.  Face.  Learn to control.  We can fight the monsters, we can defy the physics, we can deny our biology.  When it comes to scary stories, those are the tame ones.  We tell those-- we enjoy those-- because we’re not afraid.”  Did Mackie know that her voice was beginning to cause Luvius distress?

“Our scariest stories are about ourselves.  We’ve seen each other go mad...”  She had to know.  These were frequencies that humans did not regularly converse in, patterns they simply didn’t use.  Mackie had to know that the effect was blood-chilling, whyever she was doing it; but Luvius was riveted by her words. “...we’ve heard the call of the void.  We know, we’re terrified, that the real monster is us.  That we might not even know that we are.  That we might forget to care.  We’ve all had thoughts, intrusive urges, to do something not just wrong, but bad.  Murderous.  Suicidal.  Insane.  Destructive.  Harmful.  Whatever is the opposite of good.

“We don’t heed those thoughts.  Those urges are startling, but they have no power.  They are too against the grain, too radically different from our character.

“And yet.

“When the fire is low and the night is cold, when life has been rough and we feel alone, the urges get a little stronger.  And stronger.  And we wonder if we’ll cross the line this time.

“Or if we already have.”

Luvius’ pinfeathers and claws were all completely extended in fear.  Somehow, with just a few dozens statements and some voice modulation, she’d been reduced to the existential panic of a disobedient child at bedtime.  To her increased terror, Mackie stood up and leered like a predator, smiling in a way that seemed, suddenly, exactly like the bared predator grin that humans regularly insisted it wasn’t.

“Have fun sleeping tonight, little ythrexian...”

And the human strode out, head tilted back, loosening an instinctively terrifying laugh... one of the many mannerisms their own government had forbidden them to do in space.

#HUMANS ARE WEIRD #humans are space australians #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #134

“i got detention ‘cuz i made a face; nobody believed me that it’s stuck that way.”

If you were to die today would your life be complete?  No. How good is Coca-Cola?  It's my second-favorite soda. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
  My niece Aubree <3 Do you have a bad temper? 
 No. Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now?
  One acquaintance, one old friend off the top of my head. Have you ever had someone pick you up off the ground and carry you?  Mom when I passed out. If you were in the hospital, do you think any of your exes would come see you?  Girt probably would, and he's the only one I wouldn't have a problem with visiting. If you were kicked out of your house, would the last person you texted take you in?  I'm sure they would, but it's more realistic I'd live with my dad. If you were immortal for a day, what would you do?  Skydive. What fictional place would you most like to go to?  Yo can I go to Azeroth. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished?  UHHHHHH.  I'm honestly not quite sure.  But Mark is like super high on the list, if not #1.  I'm not well-informed on a lot of people's accomplishments lajsfdaowe. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way?  Hmmmm.  Good question. What is one thing you really want but can’t afford?  Lmao dude I want so many expensive things atm. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?  I almost snorted reading this question because like do you honestly expect something impressive of me.  I... guess I understand Sony Vegas well? What are some of the turning points in your life?  Uhhhh meeting my ex, the divorce, discovering my passion for photography, the breakup, re-uniting with Dad, r e c o v e r y. What’s your cure for hiccups?  NOTHING.  NOTHING WORKS. Don’t you think it’d be cool to see a colossal squid?  FUCKING NOPE THEY ARE SPAWNS OF THE NIGHTMARE REALM. What kind of steak do you prefer?  When I ate meat, I liked medium well. Has anyone ever cheated on their significant other with you?  Yes, allow me to (not) tell you about my stupid 12-year-old self. Are you fascinated by outer space?  *cue the Mark "Space is Cool" mix* Do you answer your phone when it’s a number you don’t recognize? Never. When washing your hands, do you wet your hands or put soap on first?  Put the soap on. When was the hardest you ever cried? What was the circumstance?  The night of the breakup.  I had left the house to walk to Jason's, and Mom got in the car and kept driving in front of me to stop me (I was too practically catatonic to run).  Eventually gave up, she drove me home, and when she opened the door, it was my goal to run to the kitchen and slit my throat, but the moment I made the action to run, she pretty much tackled me and I sobbed my lungs out for like 30 minutes.  Fuck that entire night. Who were your last 3 Facebook messages from and what do they say?  "lol but hey thats the world we live in lol well goodnight honey and i hope to speak to u again" from Leslie, "How quaint O:" from Girt, "Its okay :)" from Amanda. Who was the last person to comment on your Facebook status? What does the comment say?  Sara saying "YEP" when I shared a picture of straight people dating versus lesbians and it was spot-on. Which do you use the most, smiley faces, kisses or hearts?  Faces, probs. Do you like sweet or salty popcorn? Ohhhh both.  But I've gotta side with salty. Have you ever had to put your hand over someone’s mouth to keep them quiet?  Once. Have you ever fed a wild animal?  Yes. The last time you packed, where were you going?  Sara's. Do you believe in astrology?  Definitely not. Do you have an accent?  Not really, but you can pick up a southern tone with some words.  Example, my "your" sounds more like "yer," usually. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear?  No. Do you sing in the shower?  I have been a tad bit lately...  I used to never. Are you satisfied with your current camera? My phone camera is SHIT, and I need a new actual camera.  55-200mm lens is broken, the other one's automatic focus setting is and I'm not great at manual focus. Have you ever been in a choir?  In Catholic church, yes. Does it bother you to have dirt on the bottom of your bare feet?  Y E S Has anyone ever told you that you have a big butt?  I literally have the flattest ass of any female you'll ever meet. Do you often skip breakfast? Pretty much daily now, yeah.  I'm fasting and don't eat until 11, so breakfast's passed. Last person who drove you somewhere (besides your parents)? Nicole. Who last grabbed your behind?  I'm sure it was Chelsea being her crazy self. Do you eat raw cookie dough?  Yeah dukes up salmonella. Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy?  No. Would you survive in prison?  No.  I would find one way or another to kill myself. Do you drink? Smoke? Do drugs? Why, or why not?  Rarely, no, no.  I drink usually in celebratory settings to loosen up some and sometimes just because I like the flavor of weak, fruity alcohol.  Smoking's gross, drugs are ew. What was the first cigarette you ever smoked?  Never smoked. Are you scared about the end of the world?  If I'mma be in it, hell yeah.  But it's not something I actively worry about because I don't think it'll happen in my lifetime. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions?  Landmarks.  I don't know street names for shit. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books?  Yes. Where is one place that you’d never be caught dead in?  Never be caught dead in, ever... uhhhh... nothing's coming to mind right now.  Oh wait.  Probably a strip club. Apple Jacks: yay or nay?  YAY. Do you have a favorite Scooby-Doo movie?  Yeah, but I don't remember which one. ;-;  It's that one where the girl says her name is Mary Jane and Shaggy goes, "That's, like, my favorite name."  Totally went over my head as a kid lmao. Have you ever met a guy for coffee?  No, I hate coffee anyway. Who is your pet most attached to in your family?  Teddy's most attached to me, I'm the only one who has any physical contact with Venus and she trusts me, Bentley is bonded with Mom, and Mitsu is still apprehensive of anyone. Does the last person you shared a bed with mean anything to you?  The whole world and more. What do you normally do when you’ve had a really bad day?  Cry, have a shit attitude occasionally, a nap is common, talk to Sara, binge my favorite Markiplier videos. When is the next time you will wear a dress?  Hm.  Maybe this summer if I'm confident enough in my body by then lmao. On the main page on YouTube, what’re the three recommended videos? 8-BitGaming beating SCP: Containment Breach, a DanAndPhilGAMES video of Golf With Friends, and then an 8-BitRyan vid of the full release of Raft. Do you know anyone from Canada? Yeah, my former roommate's ex. Are thongs sexy? Yeah, but oml I know I couldn't wear one. Did you grow up in a healthy environment? I wouldn't say "healthy," no.  My dad was an alcoholic at the time, parents always fought, and our neighborhood was dangerous. Heavy rain or heatwave? Heavy rain, easily.  Fuck the heat. You have a choice to shoot your father or die, what would you do?  I hate these damn questions, but I'd rather die.  My father deserves the longest and happiest life possible without the betrayal of his daughter. If killing yourself meant saving the world, would you?  Yeah.  It's a lose-lose situation for me; if I didn't, I'd still die if the world's gonna end. Who knows your most darkest memory or secret?  Jason and Mom should know, and whoever read those specific surveys. Who was the last person you almost went out with?  Meh.  Juan.  We talked and hung out once in... late 2016 I think and I was pretty confused as to how I felt about him.  Meanwhile, he hasn't kept it a secret in the least he's liked me since freshman year.  He's always treated me like a gentleman should, but I know the dark and disgusting parts of him.  Glad I decided against it. The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, or The Beatles?  Stones. What does your grandma call you?  Just my name. And what do you call your grandmother?  Grammy. Would you rather have a pool or a hot tub?  Pool. Do you think ‘everything bagels’ are disgusting?  No, but I have to be in the mood for one. Do you find serial killers fascinating?  I wouldn't call them as a whole fascinating, but what has to be going on in their brains to create such grotesque desires and creativities. Do you have high blood pressure?  No. Have you ever pumped gas?  No.  I'm 22 btw lmao. Have your parents ever caught you drinking?  I mean Mom's seen me with a drink when she didn't know I'd gotten one, but I wouldn't call it "caught" since I'm allowed to and I made no effort to make it secretive. Do you prefer writing by hand or typing? Typing.  Writing makes my carpal tunnel act up quickly, and besides, typing's way faster. Think of one of the biggest decisions you've had to make in your life. If you made a different choice, how different would your life be now?  Panicking and telling Mom when I overdosed.  I took way more than what I should've taken of a cold medicine I can't even look at now, but I don't think it would've killed me based on how I felt, but then again, the fluids or whatever I got to purge it could've saved me; however, I feel like I would've killed myself through another method if I didn't tell her.  It all led to the psychiatric care I needed. Have you ever taken a course on CPR?  No, but I should. Do you wear a watch? No, I don't even own one. When are you at your most energetic? A little after waking up.  Just gotta get over the initial drowsiness. Do you like playing cards? If so, what's your favorite game?  I don't really enjoy card games.  I liked Magic: The Gathering tho when I was with Jason, but I wasn't that good at it considering it's got like a billion rules.  I'd still play with someone who knew how to, though.  I loooove the PS3 version that was made for it, it was much easier and I found it relaxing.  And I adore the artwork like jfc. What are your parents’ natural hair colors? What is yours?  Extremely dark brown, black, dirty blonde but turned to brown. How do you react to random strangers suddenly trying to make conversation with you?  I get nervous. Do you like Slim Jims?  YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS MAMA. Have you ever been in a castle? The Disney World castle, if that counts? Would you rather write a mystery or love story? A love story. Are you afraid of getting shots?  No.  I don't like them, but. What do you currently hear?  "Pour Some Sugar On Me" cover by Ninja Sex Party. What’s one text that you saved?  Two texts from Sara that I love way too much. Have you ever cut your own hair?  No. What’s your favorite color combination? Probably orange and black bc Halloween. Did you share a locker at school? No. Have you ever sang karaoke?  No. How old were you when you went on your first date?  Huh, I dunno.  Just the guy and myself?  Probably dinner with Jason at 16? Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? Yeah. Would you rather have strep throat or an ear infection?  Holy fuck, after my last ear infection?  Strep. Where was your first job?  GameStop. Have you ever been to a night club? No. Do all good things really come to an end?  No, not all. How many people do you trust with your life?  Three. Are you too kind for your own good?  Don't think so. Have you ever held a baby? Yeah. What's your favorite '90s TV show?  The Nanny. What are you favorite book series? Warriors. Favorite superheroes?  I know he's technically an anti-hero, but does Deadpool still count?  If not, uh.  Batman I guess. Would people consider you more immature or mature? Mature, probably. Would you say most of your friends are older or younger than you?  Younger. If you have a significant other, do you get jealous of people a lot? She knows I was insecure as fuck in the beginning.  Now, nope. Who was your best friend in the fifth grade?  Ummm I think Quiata? Do your parents still help you financially?  I don't have a job.  So. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Don't think so. Do you have a preferred brand of bottled water?  Essentia.  Thanks for not having it, NC. Are you more prone to overthinking things, or being too impulsive?  Hunny I overthink if I have to pee or not if it's not a massive need. How bad are your worst cramps on a scale of 1-10? Eh, maybe just a seven thanks to the pill. Have you ever thrown up from cramps?  No. List three people you had a hard time forgiving.  JASON, Dad, Mom multiple times. Who was your first celebrity crush?  Jesse McCartney. If applicable, what form of birth control do you use?  The pill.  But it's for cramps. Are you happy with your gender?  Yeah. What gender do you identify as?  Female. What gender were you born as? Female. Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication?  No. Have you ever used a tampon?  Yeah. How old were you when your parents talked to you about puberty?  I don't think it's something we ever properly "talked" about, but rather indirectly when Mom taught me how to shave and told me when to start wearing a bra. How many people have you known who were suicidal?  Sadly, I think MOST people I know/most friends. What's your favorite pain reliever? Advil. Who has the cutest baby/babies you know? My nephew is literally the cutest child I have EVER seen. Do you have a lot of people blocked on Facebook? Actually yes, but most because Mom instructed me to block them when I was younger.  A few are of my own volition. What color is your razor/shaver?  Orange and white. What's your boyfriend/girlfriend's sisters name? She doesn't have any sisters. Do you like the sound of violins?  YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Would you be interested in going on a blind date?  Even if I was single, no. If you formed an unhealthy habit, would it be smoking or drinking? Oh boy, idk.  I think an alcohol addiction is more dangerous, but smoking has disgusting consequences. Have you ever bought a video game expansion pack? No. Do you wish YouTube had been around when you were a kid?  Nah.  I wouldn't want the risk of an earlier technology addiction. Do you remember preschool?  Yes. What color(s) was your backpack in high school?  Browns and black.  It was a Ouija board design. What health conditions do you have?  Physically, baaad dry scalp, dry af skin in general, inactive MRSA.  I've been over my mental ones enough. Have you ever collected seashells at the beach?  Yeah. Did you ever take dance lessons?  Yeah, for many years. If you took dance lessons, what was your favorite style of dance?  Modern. Have you ever worn a tutu? No. What was your favorite vacation that you went on as a child?  Disney World. Have you ever had braces?  Yeah. What is your favorite photo editing site? (or what do you use?) I don't use editing sites.  I use Photoshop, Lightroom, or PhotoScape. How many times did you take your driver's test?  I haven't yet.

#survey #quiz #questions

[mjalti]

Yesterday’s dream

I’m in a hot air balloon, there’s 6 people total. 2 girls and 4 boys. It’s the birthday of one of the boys but we’re strangers. We introduce ourselves and it turns out we’re all albanians. We talk about school and they’re discussing their school. The girl dislikes me initially. We go skydiving from the hot air balloon but you have to backflip off the top of the balloon. There’s no parachute but it’s an entire aerodynamic suit that we’re wearing so it’s no problem. We go out to a city to celebrate the boys birthday but it’s a high crime police-state esque area. There’s a small club/cafe with two chairs out front & the owners are a young black woman and her brother. They’re discussing how mad they are bc the law has changed to disallow locally owned bars to stay open past 630, but commercial bars can stay open til 2 am. Some celebrities are coming into town and it’s going to cost them a lot of business. There is a murder that’s happening in one of the apartments nearby but when I go to see what’s happened there’s no scene. Turns out The Murder i saw happened 4 years ago & the police chief was the one that killed a boy. We are at a food store. My baby sister’s closest irl friend is having a drink themed birthday party. Everyone just brings her a cup with a drink for a birthday present (might steal this idea) and my sister is bringing her a bunch of iced tea with a cup. When we check out my visions? take me to the next dream:

Next dream.

There’s a mentally challenged boy. I don’t know what he has or anything. He’s 5 years old and maimed. The story goes like this. He’s mentally challenged and no one pays him any mind, not even his own family. He’s loved, superficially. The boy has an obsession with giving hugs, to every one. While he gives people a hug, he reaches into their pockets and takes coins (quarters etc). The boy loves the shiny toys but he knows he’s doing something wrong. He goes into the local forest to bury the coins because he wants them to be warm, safe, and to grow. His family is hit by some sudden economic loss. The mother and father are sad that they can’t provide for their family anymore. The boy takes his parents to the places where he has hidden the coins over the years & his family is happy.

However the boy is not. The boy has the same power? as me in the dream. He can feel me watching. He tells his family a story, for my benefit so I can hear. The story is about the creatures in the forest. There are red-eyed shadowed claws who reach out to the boy from holes in trees because he can see things he shouldn’t. They want him to come into their area but the boy has to always appease them as he refuses them: “I cannot fit into that place I am a big boy now. Sorry another day I will come”. And so the boy manages to escape from the faceless creatures who want him. Then he starts talking about the forest itself being a red-eyed creature but one that allows & disallows people to enter & exit. He says you have to be careful because there are boundless treasures in some of the caves, ancient gold and relics from times we don’t even have recorded, however they belong to the forest. And the boy tells his family (who has grown to include the villagers) that they have to be careful because no matter how shiny the things are, the forest keeps you lost if you take even one coin.

I wake up.

#vivid dream #vivid dreaming #dream journal

[fumbliesthots]

2019 - Year in Review

Hello, tumblr journal, long time no see. While you were away I was having rendezvous with 2 other journals - Notion (for work thoughts) and my exercise book (for personal mundane reflections). But you probably already guessed it.

But you see, I always will come back to you because we made a pact to see each other at least twice a year, isn’t it? On June 19 and Dec 31.

So you would like to interview me about what I’ve been up to this year? Oh how kind! There are quite few people in this world is interested in little old me, hee.

1. What are your favourite memories this year?

Tele and phone calls from Jappu. Janchan and I have grown in our friendship this year surprisingly despite her being away for such a long time. I have learnt that long distance friendship is kinda fun (in fact when she was coming back home I was even a bit upset)!

Travelling with Jessi laoniang is always a treat. She is entertaining in her unassuming and authentic ways and I enjoy her cheerful company.

The monthly Kampung Sketching sessions. It’s really cool to see Lingsan overcome her fear of hosting events and now she is a pro. And to see people coming to the kampung for the first time and drawings of the kampung in so many different interesting angles.

2. What trips have you made this year and what were some highlights?

i) Prague work trip with Lulu and Claire - Snow sledding in the mountains, and going to a Czech police station to report a scam, hanging out with chor and gary after work.

ii) New Zealand with the family - Breathtaking mountain views, hiking in the rain in full gear, and skydiving over the glaciers.

iii) Beijing IXDC trip with Jess - The making of our fried chicken MV was so much fun! And eating 小龙虾，鸭脖 and beer at midnight at the hostel corridor.

iv) Boxmeer/Prague/Bruges - Business trip by myself for the first time was kinda liberating, and also getting to visit Eos in Brugge again.

v) BKK UX Savvy trip with the team - boring conference but awesome company. 5am clubbu gymmy and brekki with meowchan.

vi) JB with Lulu and Jan - making up silly animal stories, shiok Thai massage, being tickled at their new hair transformations, and interesting Grab/JB customs adventure to end it off.

3. What is the biggest change you noticed about yourself this year?

I noticed ever since taking on this role in Design Operations, I started to come out of my shell a bit more, wanting to take care of my colleagues and doing things to make sure they are happy at work. Despite being an introvert, I realised I enjoy socialising with people and making people feel comfortable. And i have also become a bit more assertive and confident in things that I believe are right to do.

4. What was the biggest challenge you had to face this year?

Politics at work busted my idealistic bubble. I was a bit upset when I heard stories of people fighting and competing with each other... just for promotion, raises and recognition. Isn’t it ridiculous? But perhaps to survive in the corporate world I have to just do my best and accept that this is normal but try not to get sucked into all the negativity.

Just stay on course, remember what you are here for - to help people solve their problems, and give it your all! Ego is the enemy.

I also learnt that sometimes my happy-go-lucky attitude doesn’t work well on everyone, and might even offend people who takes things very seriously. I need to be careful about that. But it is a tough habit to kick, because sometimes I can get slightly antsy when someone around me is in a bad mood and I don’t know why, and I would want to do something to neutralise that mood.

5. Read any good books?

Ever since I got Libby, I have been devouring new books every month, and I am learning so much! The most impactful to me this year is probably The Power Of Moments by Chip and Dan Heath. And the second one is also by the same author, Switch. These 2 books made me understand more about human psychology and how to motivate people to do things.

Other special mentions are Radical Candor (about how being brutally honest and caring personally is important) and Never Split The Difference (a book on negotiation). I learnt so much from these books that I even made nerdy ppt slides to share them with my friends, forcing them to sit through my presentations, heh. Poor things.

6. Any people you’d like to thank this year?

I can never thank my parents enough for all the things they provide me, so this top spot will always be saved for them. Although they always nag at me, and never emotionally expressive, the things they do for my siblings and I is really unconditional love.

As usual, my UX family whom I spend perhaps even more time than my actual family. This has been a year of experiments and emotional up and downs. But I feel we have learnt and grown a lot together as a team.

And all my friends. Who taught me so many things through their life stories and inspiring me to be better. Thanks to them, just a text, a call, or a meetup away, I am never lonely. (I sometimes do really wonder how that feels like!)

Ajahn Brahm. Hehe, this is a great monk that I have learnt a lot from and he probably has changed my life already. To be kindful, to be gentle, to be peaceful is to be happy.

7. What were some new things you tried this year?

5am club. Exercise regime. Brewing my own filter coffee. Getting more regular in short 15min sittings. Starting a work journal to reflect about things and people at work.

8. Name some of your favourite things of 2019

Ajahn Brahm’s dhamma talks - I always thought that I was a glass-half-full kind of girl but recently after getting hooked onto Ajahn Brahm’s stories on youtube, I became even more so. I also enjoyed repeating those stories to my friends, especially when I thought they could use some positivity to help them see their life difficulties from a different perspective. So much so that even my boss used one of the stories I told to tease me every time i made a very “evon” mistake. (Mmm... honey...)

Sodastream - I bought this for the family so that my brothers would stop buying unhealthy soft drinks. It worked! Mmm.. soda water.

Janchan’s morning challenges - thats how i started waking up early and getting productive in the mornings. But that girl does not follow through to her own challenges, tsk tsk.

Audrey’s life hack for bubble tea cup - use a silicone bag! I have amused many woobbee and each-a-cup aunties when i bring it to dabao my bubble tea.

9. What were your new year resolutions last year and how did you do?

Well well well. Let’s see.

1- Figure out how to be a leader: I am learning a lot just by observing the way boss does things. I hope he can be our leader in many years to come so I will always have the privilege to learn from him.

2 - Being more articulate and assertive: In some ways I realised I have subconsciously learned to do that in situations that requires me to do so. And the trick is just to do it with humble confidence.

3 - Plan more and be less slipshod about things: Hmm... as an operations lead I suppose I should feel guilty about not working on this more. But as I have learnt from a very wise monk, too much planning is futile sometimes, and may cause unnecessary stress on yourself and others, hehe. I kid. I will carry this rezzo forward to next year.

4 - Being more caring with my parents: Still working on it. And sometimes I will tend to fall into my old habits of silent avoidance, especially when they start nagging. But I think this year I have tried being more attentive to their needs, and talking more.

5 - Continue staying healthy: I think I’m doing pretty well in this, especially since starting to wake up super early. I have more time to workout physically with my simple exercise regime, as well as mentally through short meditation sittings and journal writing.

10. Rezzos for 2020 to start the year off of?

1 - Continue working on trying to care more for my parents, and take on more responsibilities regarding household stuff. Make them less worried that their kids can’t be independent without them.

2 - I want to try writing, and develop my own voice. As I learn more about leadership and being human, I thought should document this journey in someway so that perhaps it could help someone else one day on a similar path too.

3 - I’m surprised I didn’t mention anything about money in last year’s post. That is something I’ve always be clueless about. And today I made a ditch attempt to be more “adult” by getting a credit card, so that I can get more interests out of my bank... or something. Yeah, ok I will try to learn more about this finance thing in 2020!

4 - Find a new personal project that can give me a belly burning feeling, that is not work related. Ok la, maybe no need belly burn, just a mild tingle also can. Something that I would be excited to work on for at least a couple of months.

5 - What’s that thing about being less slipshod again? 🤔

[rscenarios]

Daehyun - Freefall

akutagawahakuryuunosuke requested “Hello can i request a scenario for Daehyun? The plot is what if he was a mafia who like to eat a cheesecake from the bakery across the street, at first he just love the cakes but later he fall in love with the baker too, but one day she start avoiding him and after that is up to you hehehe thank you hope my plot not confuse you^^;; hehe make it nsfw if you, thanks”

Since this got quite longer, I didn’t include the smut so I apologize for that. I was also originally going to lead this into where the Skydive M/V starts but decided not to be cruel about this... Please enjoy -Admin Em

Warnings: Some curse words.

It was rare for a new business to appear in their territory with the history of crime and violence. It was especially interesting that of all thing the business was a cute little bakery right across the street. Something brightly colorful and sweet among the bitter darkness. A place like that sparked the interest of B.A.P and so they kept a watchful eye.

After a week of no surprising activity, the youngest member suggests they pay a visit. “Getting inside will give us a better idea if something is happening,” Zelo explains.

“Or it’s a trap,” Himchan sighs before he takes another drink.

“It’s not like we don’t use the club as a rouse,” Zelo groans. It’s times like this everyone is reminded he’s still young.

“We aren’t going,” Himchan declares. “Don’t argue.”

The room falls silent as Yongguk enters, handing Himchan a file that may contain new orders. Himchan points to something in the document, raising an eyebrow in question. Yongguk shakes his head.

“Warn him the bill is to be paid in a month. We’ll have to see about this...development,” Himchan says, handing the files back to the second in command. The leader looks at Zelo. “You get your wish, we’re headed to the bakery.”

“Really?!” Zelo asks, an excited grin forming on his face.

“What’s going on?” Daehyun questions as he follows the group.

“That’s what we want to know,” Himchan states simply.

“Do you think all of us should go? It might be suspicious,” Youngjae suggests, making the leader halt.

“You’re right. Yongguk, Youngjae, Jongup, you three stay here. Daehyun and Zelo, with me,” Himchan orders and everyone obeys without further question.

There’s a small chime as the trio enters the bakery, but no one is in sight. The group looks around, the place is mostly bare with only a few pieces of art hanging on the walls. Some of the furniture is in worn condition, but is still cute. The group nearly draws their weapons as you rush out of the back room, “I’m sorry, I hadn’t heard you come in,” you apologize before smiling at them, “Welcome, thank you for coming in. How can I help you today?”

“Woah, everything looks so good,” Zelo gasps, looking at all the treats through the glass container as Himchan looks around. Daehyun is focused on your beauty though as you give a small chuckle at the youngest’s comment.

“Thank you. Would you like to sample something before you buy?”

HImchan shakes his head, “I’d just like a slice of the chocolate cake.”

You quickly place the slice on a plate for him before Zelo asks, “Can I have caramel apple?”

“Sure thing,” you smile and hand it over.

“A slice of your best cheesecake, please,” he requests and is soon given a slice of New York style cheesecake.

Before you can say anything, Himchan hands over the payment and you return his change. “Please have a seat anywhere,” you tell them and they settle at a table.

“It’s so good,” Zelo hums as he munches on his treat. Himchan and Daehyun nod without word. The leader is still looking around, watching for any sign of trouble and Daehyun is just too focused on the cheesecake to care.

“Did you make this?” Himchan calls out to you as he notes you cleaning the display case.

“Oh, yes, is there a problem?”

“No, it’s good. I wasn’t sure if you were the baker or just an employee,” Himchan explains casually.

“Thank you, I’m currently everything around here. I don’t have any other employees yet.”

“Really?” Zelo gasps. “You work in such a dangerous area alone?”

Himchan gives him a warning look, but you give an amused chuckle. “It was the only place I could afford to lease on such short notice,” you bit your lip before you can say anything more.

“What do you mean?” Himchan asks.

“I’d rather not discuss it. Excuse me,” you go into the back room to get rid of the dirty rag.

“Daehyun,” Himchan speaks quietly as Daehyun cleans his plate.

“Sir?”

“I want you to keep an eye on this place. Figure out her story.”

Daehyun gives a quick nod as you come back into the room.

“I apologize if he upset you. Our Junhong is a curious one,” Himchan says politely.

“It’s okay, can I take care of your plates?” you ask, taking note of the empty plates sitting in front of him and Daehyun. When he nods you quickly take those to the back room too. When you return, the three are moving to leave. “Thank you again for coming, have a good day,” you smile.

Himchan and Zelo return the kind words as they leave, but Daehyun stays behind.

“Could I have another slice to go?” he asks.

“Of course,” you say while placing a slice in a box for him as he hands you the money. “Come again,” you call after him as he leaves.

Daehyun already knows he’ll be back. This was some of the best cheesecake he’s ever had...and there was his assignment. Mainly the cheesecake though.

Two days later, Daehyun returns to find that there are a few more customers in the shop. Not many and no one he recognized from their reveals. “Be with you in a moment,” you smile as you carry some plates into the back room. “Nice to see you again,” you say as you step behind the counter. “What would you like?”

Daehyun looks at all the choices, licking his lips in approval. Everything looks so good, but the cheesecake is still calling his name. “I’ll take a slice of the blueberry cheesecake, please,” he tells you while grabbing the cash from his wallet.

“Thank you,” you muse as he goes to sit down. As much as he wants to give the cheesecake his full attention, he keeps a watchful eye on you as you work. He doesn’t notice anything out of the ordinary about you. He can tell you’re trying not to show how tired you are as you wipe down tables and tend to customer needs. Your smile doesn’t seem to dwindle and Daehyun admires that, but he also can’t help but worry why you’re pushing yourself so much. He would have to find out another time, it would be suspicious to ask now.

He bids you farewell, thanking you once again for the cheesecake before he goes back to the club. “Anything to report?” Himchan asks without looking up from what he’s doing.

“No. Is there something particular I should be looking for?”

Himchan simply shakes his head and Daehyun goes about his business.

Another two days pass before Daehyun comes back, and this time the shop is empty again. “Nice to see you again,” you greet him. “What kind of cheesecake will it be today?”

“Surprise me,” Daehyun shrugs while placing the money on the counter. “It’s a shame more people don’t know how good your food is,” he tries to make conversation.

“Just leaves more for my number one customer,” you laugh, handing over the food. Daehyun can tell the laugh is somewhat forced. “People just don’t want to risk being in this area long.”

Daehyun finds a seat and  takes a bite of his cheesecake, trying to think of what more he can say. He has to start getting to know you, but he can’t risk coming on too strong. “Does it scare you?”

“The lack of customers or the area?” you ask while arranging something by the register.

“The area.”

You stop whatever you’re doing and sigh. “A little bit.”

A silence falls over the two of you so Daehyun decides to just eat. He feels guilty for upsetting you and it was evident you didn’t want to say anything more.

“Do you think they’re as bad as everyone says?” you ask suddenly, trying to hide the small shake in your voice.

“Who?”

“Any of the gangs, or mafia...whatever they are. Like B.A.P.”

Daehyun almost chokes on his food. “They’re tough, but they don’t hurt the innocent so you don’t need to worry,” he offers, trying to keep casual. You nod slowly, letting his words sink in but Daehyun senses there’s something more. “Forgive me for being bold, but are you in trouble with someone? Is that why you’re in this area?”

You shake your head, “I’m not in trouble. Just worried.”

“It’ll be okay. I’m not far away, I’ll keep you safe, but if I’m not around and anyone tries to hurt you just feed them,” he tries to lighten the mood and this time you give a genuine laugh. It’s beautiful.

“Thank you...I don’t even know your name,” you note.

“I’m Daehyun.”

“____________,” you introduce yourself before noting the empty plate in front of him. “How was your cheesecake?”

“Wonderful,” Daehyun smiles as you take his plate. “As always.”

“That’s good. I hope it continues to be.”

“I’ll have to keep checking,” he declares as he gets up.

“If you insist. See you next time, Daehyun.”

“Have a good day, __________,” he smiles before leaving. He decides that he would start coming every day after that.

Each visit the two of you would talk more. No matter who else was in the shop, you would always make light chit-chat with Daehyun and whoever he was with. You got along with all of the members of B.A.P without knowing who they were. Himchan would have DAehyun’s head if he told you who he really was and Daehyun didn’t want you to see him as a monster. He didn’t want to risk not seeing your beautiful smile. He was falling for you even though he knows that’s risky. Himchan warned him he would be pulled from the assignment if he didn’t find anything out soon, but Daehyun still doesn’t know what he’s supposed to be looking for. You lived a normal life.

It’s a week and a half before the deadline and after taking out a group that owed B.A.P money Daehyun decides that he needs to see you. You had become the bright spot in his day and he could use that. Daehyun is excited to see your smile, but instead he hears a soft sobbing and spots you crying at one of the tables. “____________, are you alright?!” he asks quickly, rushing over to you.

“Oh, Daehyun, I’m sorry,” you sniffle, wiping away tears. “I’m okay. It’s fine. Let me get you your cheesecake.”

“No, I don’t need it,” he stops you. “Please just relax.”

“I can’t, I-”

“It’s okay, you work hard.”

“You’re too kind,” you tell him, still trying to control your tears. Slowly, he reaches out to gently pat your head to try to help you calm down. It seems to help as a few minutes later you take a few deep breaths and relax. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“It’s okay. Is there something I can do to help?”

“Will you...will you walk me home?”

“Of course, do you want me to drive your car home?”

“My father needed it today so I don’t have it,” you explain.

“I’ll go get my car. Wait here,” Daehyun tells you before rushing to get his car from the garage behind the club. He returns quickly and helps you stand. He even opens your door for you and closes it once you’re seated. You tell him the address and it isn’t far so the drive is quick.

When the car stops Daehyun walks you to the door of your apartment. “You didn’t need to walk me in. I don’t want to be a bother.”

“It’s no bother,” he assures you. “I told you I would be around to keep you safe,” he reminds you.

“Well, I think I owe you for your services,” you smile.

“And how will you be paying?”

“Would my handsome saviour settle for a kiss?” you ask boldly.

Daehyun’s heart skips a beat. This had started as an assignment and grown into so much more. He had thought about asking you out, but he knew the risks involved in that. But now, now he can’t help but smile and step closer to you. “I would have settled for a phone number, but I will accept your kiss.”

Your cheeks turn a soft shade of pink as you lean up, eyes closing slowly as your lips meet his gently. It’s a short kiss, but it sends sparks through Daehyun’s body. Everything else is forgotten in that moment and even as you move away from him. “________, will you be my girlfriend?” he asks softly.

“Of course.”

“Can I have your phone?” He asks and you hand it over without question. He punches in his number and hands it back you. “Now I’m only a phone call away when you need me. But it’s late and you’ve had a long day. Please go and rest,” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I will see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” you smile as you head inside.

The smile doesn’t leave Daehyun’s face as he heads back to the club. He doesn’t even notice as Youngjae and Jongup start talking to him. He only snaps out of it when Youngjae throws a dart just a few centimeters away from his head. “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?!” he shouts

“Relax, if I wanted to hit you I would have,” Youngjae remains him. It was true, Youngjae had deadly aim. “What’s on your mind?”

“Probably the pretty noona at the bakery,” Jongup grins.

“Just her food,” Daehyun says coolly. He doesn’t want the others to know about his relationship with you yet. Not until he’s discussed it with Himchan. “Where’s Himchan?”

“He and Yongguk just got back from meeting someone that owes us money. Should be in his office,” Jongup answers.

“Thanks,” Daehyun nods and heads to Himchan’s office.

“Come in,” Himchan calls when he hears the knock on his door. “Daehyun, have a seat,” HImchan says, putting some documents in one of his drawers. “Do you have something to report?”

“Not yet, but I wanted to inform you that my relationship with ________ has grown.”

Himchan raises an eyebrow, “For the mission or for your own personal benefit?”

Daehyun takes a deep breath, “Both, but mostly due to my own feelings.”

Himchan leans back in his seat, eyeing Daehyun carefully. The leader’s expression is unreadable as the two sit in silence. “You understand that regardless of your feelings, whatever has to happen will happen, correct? If your loyalty becomes a question, you know what will be done, correct?”

“B.A.P is my family, I will not betray my family. Is _____________ in trouble with us?”

“No, but she has connection to someone who is. She may be part of something bigger. She could be using you. Be careful,” Himchan warns. “For now, it’s nearly time for the club to open.”

“Yes sir, thank you,” Daehyun bows and leaves.

When the crowd of people starts to enter, Daehyun pays them no mind as he thinks about what HImchan told him. He doesn’t want to think you could be using him, but in his life anything was possible. People were hard to trust. He shouldn’t have been careless to ask you out, but he couldn’t deny what he felt for you, especially after the kiss. Especially as you send him a good night message and his heart gives a small flutter. Regardless, he would have to be careful from now on.

The following day, your shop has a few customers, but that still doesn’t stop you from rushing to greet your boyfriend. You don’t bother to ask him what he wants as you hand over a plate with a slice of cheesecake. Before he can take his wallet out you stop him. “My treat.”

“Oh, am I going to be getting special treatment now that I’m your boyfriend?” he asks

“No, you’ve just done so much for me that I still want to repay you however I can.”

“Please don’t worry about paying me back,” Daehyun assures you. “You work hard. We can talk later,” he adds, seeing more people walk in behind him.

“Ok, enjoy,” you grin as he goes to take a seat.

To his dismay, with HImchan’s warning in the back of his mind, he starts to worry that maybe there was something wrong with this cheesecake. He shakes his head, trying to force the thought away. You weren’t like that. You weren’t a part of the world of killing. He takes the first bite slowly, and waits for any signs of trouble even though he knows it would take more than one bite.

He finishes sometime later, feeling fine. He’s ashamed to have thought so lowly of you. He takes his dirty plate to the counter and gets a hug goodbye from you. “I’m going to be pretty busy tonight so I probably won’t get to talk to you, but I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“How about dinner later?”

“That would be great,” you reply before he leaves.

The next three days are spent in bliss. The two of you would message almost constantly when you weren’t out on dates or busy with work. Business was picking up for you. You were even looking for some part time help. Daehyun would help on occasion, allowing the two of you to spend more time together. He stayed to help you with closing, offering you a ride home. “I have to meet with someone, so it will be a while. Go home and rest,” you told him, giving him a soft kiss.

He kisses you again quickly before leaving. As he steps out of the shop, he bumps into a man and apologizes quickly. The man looks like he’s about to yell, but suddenly fear fills his eyes and he apologizes in return before quickly entering the shop. Daehyun doesn’t question this much as it was common for people to remember that this was an area filled with people that could easily kill someone.

The next day your shop is still busy, and it makes Daehyun happy that you’re work was finally being appreciated. You finally put up a sign looking for some part-time help. You hand over his cheesecake, and he hands you the money just before you move to tend to someone else’s needs. It was odd you didn’t say anything, but he dismisses it as the frustration of being busy two days in a row. He quietly eats his food, watching you move with a forced smile on your face. You don’t look at him, but again he dismisses it as you’re busy. He takes his plate to the counter and is about to ask if you want help when you go into the back room so he waits for you to return. When you come back, you have a fresh pie to place in the display case.

“Do you want some help?” he asks.

“No, thanks, I can do this,” you say just as quickly. “I’ll talk to you another time.”

Daehyun just nods and leaves, allowing you to get back to work.

Later that night he decides to message you to make sure you’re okay. “Hey __________. Did you have a good day?”

“Lots of business. I’m pretty tired so I’m actually headed to bed early.”

“You work too hard. Sleep well,” he replies. All he can do now is wait for a time when you’re less busy to talk to you.

Unfortunately, you continue to dismiss his messages and work keeps you busy for three more days, On the fourth day, with only five days left in Himchan’s deadline, Daehyun doesn’t bother to come in to see you. Instead, he makes the bold and incredibly risky choice to meet you as the shop closes. A few minutes before closing time, he enters the shop, making you jump as the bell chimes. “Hey Daehyun, I’m about to close,” you tell him simply..

“I know. I came to walk you home. I haven’t seen your car lately.”

You shift uncomfortably and head for the door.. “I can take myself home. You don’t need to worry about it.”

“____________, what’s wrong?” He steps closer to you and you step away, tears forming in your eyes.

“Please don’t,” you whimper and he halts. His heart breaks at the sound of fear in your voice. Your legs start to shake and you fall to your knees. “Please don’t,” you beg again. “Please don’t hurt me.”

Daehyun quickly kneels in front of you. “___________, I would never hurt you.”

“You were going to kill him!” You sob.

“What? Who?”

“My father. He owes B.A.P money,” you say between sobs. “He didn’t have enough to pay it back. He was supposed to pay it tomorrow...but he left. I tried to help earn the money....I gave him everything I could. I didn’t....I didn’t,” you choke on your words. “Are you going to kill me?” you manage to ask slowly.

Daehyun thinks back to the man he bumped into a few days ago. No wonder he had been so afraid. To see a known mafia member spending time with his daughter. “__________, please listen to me,” Daehyun urges. “You aren’t going to be hurt.”

“I gave him money to pay. He saw you and told me I should run from B.A.P. You’re one of them and he left me. I don’t have enough to pay his debt. ”

“It’s true,,” he says slowly. “I’m a member of B.A.P, but I’m not going to hurt you. You didn’t expect him to run. It’s not your fault. I won’t let you get hurt. I’ll keep watching over you. I love you,” Daehyun vows, pulling you into his arms..

“What? You love me?”

“I do.”

“But the money-”

“It doesn’t matter. B.A.P doesn’t hurt the families of the people who have done us wrong. You’re safe. I’ll explain it to my boss. You’re safe. I promise.”

You sob harder in his arms. “I’ve been so scared. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I pushed you away. I love you too,” you cry as he holds you. He rocks you back and forth, allowing you time to calm down. “Will you take me home?”

“Of course,” he says, wiping the last few tears away from your face before helping you up. He keeps a firm hold on your hand the entire walk.

You stop in front of your door. “Will you....will you spend the night?”

“Are you sure?” He asks and you nod, not wanting to be alone. He follows you inside to see how small and empty your apartment is. There was likely more at some point, but it had since been sold to help your father. “Do you have a spare pillow? I’ll sleep out here,” he says as he looks at the barren living room.

You let go of his hand and grab him a few things. He continues to look around, spotting the note your father had left you telling you he was leaving. Daehyun steps away so you don’t see him looking at your things. “I’m sorry I don’t have more,” you say when you hand him a pillow and blanket.

“It’s alright,” he assures. “Rest, I’m going to make a call and then I’ll be right out here.”

You nod and go to crawl in your own bed as he steps outside to call Himchan. “Hello?”

“Sir, I have something to report.”

“Daehyun, what is it? Where are you?”

“I’m with __________. Her father left her. He took the money she gave him to pay us but he ran away.”

“Damn it. Did she tell you where he went?”

“She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know anything. She’s scared.”

“Are you certain she isn’t lying to protect him?” Himchan questions.

“I’m sure. She was begging for her life. I told her she would be safe. We don’t hurt the innocent.”

“I’m aware of our code,” HImchan snaps. “She’ll be fine, but we will be looking for her father. You know that.”

“All I care is that she’s safe now.”

“Yes. I have things to do now. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Himchan hangs up..

Daehyun knows his boss is angry. He knows Himchan likely wants to interrogate you himself to make sure you weren’t lying, but HImchan wouldn’t do that to Daehyun. As tough as Himchan is, he still had a softer side for the group.

As quietly as possible, Daehyun comes back into your apartment and lies down in a spot on the floor. He wishes he could run home and grab some pajamas, but he doesn’t want to leave you. Not like this. He stares up at the ceiling, trying to let the events of the day sink in. He’s about to doze off as he hears you softly call his name. “I’m here,” he assures you as he gets up. He opens your bedroom door. “What’s wrong?”

“Will you lie with me?”

“Are you sure?”

It wasn’t the first time the two of you had lied together, but Daehyun knows you’re scared. You’ve been living in fear. He would take things at the pace you wanted but only if he knew you were certain of your actions.

“I’m sure,” you say, lifting the blankets for him. He settles in quickly, allowing you to move into his arms.

“I took care of everything,” he tells you softly.

“Your boss is probably mad.”

“A little,” he tells you honestly. He doesn’t want to lie. He wasn’t going to tell you that your father would be hunted down to pay for his actions, but he wasn’t going to keep anything more from you. “But he won’t do anything to you. No one will. You’re innocent and I’m here to protect you. I promise,” he kisses your forehead.

“I’m sorry for the trouble.”

“You have no reason to be sorry. I’m sorry that you had to go through this. You deserve much better.”

Your arms tighten around him. “I never said I love you too.”

“Hm?”

“You told me you loved me...and I didn’t tell you I love you too. I just thought it was all part of making sure my father paid you back...but he still ran. I got scared and I tried to push you away, but I do love you.”

Daehyun smiles, kissing your forehead again. Very slowly, he kisses down to your nose and then places a light peck on your lips only for you to kiss him back. Everything is very tender and soft between the two of you as he holds you close.

Your hands lightly move over his chest as he pulls away to place gentle kisses over your face. He whispers sweet things, telling you how beautiful you are and how he was always going to be here. He doesn’t stop you as you remove his shirt before you roll on top of him. You don’t stop his hands from rubbing your thighs. His touch is light, as if he’s afraid to break you.

Your hands move over his bare skin, trailing lower until he stops you. “___________,” he licks his lips, “we should stop. As much as I would love to continue, I want to wait and show you how much I love you. Is that okay?”

He trusts your judgement, but he wants to make sure you’re ready to be involved in his world. You’d had a long day, and although he had missed you desperately, he didn’t want to risk you regretting anything.

You move to lie at his side and kiss him again. “Okay, let’s just sleep.”

He moves you back into his arms, kissing you again. “Sleep well.”

The two of you quickly drift off, content in each other's company without worry of future dangers.

#BAP scenario #BAP scenarios #B.A.P #BAP #B.A.P scenairo #B.A.P scenarios #Daehyun x you #Daehunxyou #Daehyun scenario #Daehyun scenarios #BAP Daehyun #BAP oneshot #B.A.P oneshot

[jaxxonpollux]

notes for vivien during her leave of absence v2

“how’s mammon crossing over, you half-breed piece of shit?”

sorry, i’m watching constantine right now and keanu reeves just said that. it smacks of our old fave “hey pee brain, can you teleport?” this is a hilarious movie! now he’s punching a devil guy in a suit using gold brass knuckles with little crosses etched into them.

again, i’m writing this for you because, well, i’ve got nothing left to do. it has been 15 days since i’ve heard from you, and apparently i’m the kind of person who cannot handle that kind of thing. it’s not as bad as it was the last time, when you were in the hospital, because now i just assume you’re in the hospital. which is horrible! i want to know your room number so i can come see you! i have the day off tomorrow, i could do it. i hate being in the dark, i just wish i had something to grasp onto. and i really do hope you’re ok and come back. i hope you didn’t hurt yourself. that’s my main worry, i didn’t do enough to prevent that, i desperately wanted you to come to me if you ever felt depressed enough to do anything. i hope nothing sent you over the edge. i hope b isn’t making things hard and miserable. and, selfishly, i hope that if you’re not talking to me, you’re not talking to anyone else either. as ugly as that sounds. i always have that gnawing in the back of my head, that i’m the only one that’s being blocked out, i did something wrong, i’m not good enough, blah blah, you have all new secret facebooks and instagrams and tumblrs that specifically avoid me. just typing that makes me feel and sound like a crazy person! you’ve told me about guys that used to be crazy over you before, like that kid in ireland who would cut off his fingers and send them to you in the mail or whatever. i mean, he had his own whole set of problems, but i wonder if this is the kind of thing that makes dudes crazy for you? just stewing in their own heads like this

i promise i won’t do anything crazy. i’m patience incarnate. i’m here when you need me. i’m not an obsessed boyfriend. i’ll be ready when you come back, if you ever come back. i’ll probably move on if lightning strikes me again, but that doesn’t happen very often. i’ll always care for you in a platonic sense, even if i’m married with 10 kids or addicted to crack cocaine out on the streets or whatever. even if i don’t talk to you again for another 10 years. 20 years. we’ve always been on this weird twin flame cycle anyway, like we happened to come into contact right when our lives were the same! and now the planets are quietly drifting out of alignment again and we’re in different places. that’s ok. i’m still here and i’ll still grow, even if i sorely miss you.

one crazy thing: i did have a weird experience with what i thought of as “your ghost,” or your energy, something along those lines. i really hope it isn’t a pisces intuition thing. i was lying in bed in the dark about five days ago, and i felt like you were there, wrapping your arms around me from behind. i could feel you and smell you, i remembered the way your bones and your breasts felt. it was like an echo. and it wasn’t a dream; it was like a shiver. that’s why i was worried it was you in ghost form, giving a hug farewell. i really hope you aren’t dead. you should have at least written me a fucking note if you’re going to be dead.

had a similar feeling the other night too, but i think it was just a very realistic sex dream, like something that gets pulled back up out of your subconscious. it’s weird how memories work that way in dreams sometimes. and then i was at work yesterday...um scooping muffin batter, i think, and i kept seeing a shadow out of the corner of my eye, and i thought “gasp, it’s vivien! trying to communicate through the astral plane!” but then i thought maybe it was just a mouse. then i thought it was just my reflection on some metal bars. this was after a long series of days of getting little to no sleep every night, so my brain was ready to go just about anywhere.

but i have been working a ton. a lot of 12+ hour days. a lot of naps. i’ve been meaning to write something like this for like a week actually, but i never got around to it. i’d constantly think of something or see something i’d want to share with you, but i’m getting sick of texting you and giving you a backlog of disjointed garbage to read, i don’t think you like that kind of thing. it’s hard to share things with someone when you’re not sure if you’re being purposefully ignored or whatever. like, i don’t want to come off as a complete fool. so a lot of vivien thoughts come and go. but every day at like, 5am, when i would be walking into work, i’d write a mental list of all the things i would tell you. dumb things, like dreams i’d have. billboards. i even got into the habit of writing in my iphone notes like you do. let’s see what i have there actually...

“michael kors bought versace for 2.1 bil”

just thought it was wacky, like a faux high end brand purchasing an actual high end brand. or maybe they’re both the same. i mean, clearly they are now

“dream about my dad strangling my old baking teacher, only to have her revive”

i actually remember this one a little bit. i was living at my old dad’s house, and found my pastry teacher dead under his bed (which is already ridiculous because he sleeps in a waterbed but anyway). when i inquired, he was sort of flippant, like “oh yeah, i woke up from a nightmare in sort of a haze and just ended up strangling her.” and my reaction to this news was like, extremely furious, like i was yelling and throwing things and saying things like “YOU CAN’T LIVE HERE” and i eventually banished him from the house, feeling very vindicated about it too. “taking out the trash,” as it were. anyway, the next day i was “getting off the schoolbus,” and i saw my pastry teacher alive and well, corralling a bunch of students. which led me to think that she was undead, like a vampire or something. then i woke up

see, i don’t know why i want to share things like this with you. usually when people tell me about their really convoluted dreams like this, i just kind of zone out. victoria has a lot of boring dreams like this, ones that don’t have anything to do with anything, they just reflect like, social anxiety or something. 

“man with man bun and skydiver clothes in wheelchair talking angrily on the phone with a trombone in his lap”

this is actually a guy i saw like, an hour ago when i was down on campus getting food for my mom and myself. i believe he’s what the tumblr kids would call “chaotic energy.” i don’t remember what he was talking about, on the phone. something about not being able to work at the tollbooth. or parking garage. shrug.

i can’t think of anything else i wanted to tell you. a lot of things have come and gone that are just stale by now. erased from my morning vivien diary. like we had a few dinners for a group called “the lions” last weekend, which is one of those clubs or guilds or whatever, like the masons. it’s just a lot of sourpuss old men, at least from the perspective of a food service professional. people complaining that they got the vegan cookie desserts instead of the Lovingly Prepared disgusting sugar free brownies i spent two days preparing, either because they sat at the wrong table, or because the idiot temp servers we hire don’t understand what dietary restriction means. then before you know it, you’re in hour 13 of the day, piling up plates full of caramel corn because for whatever reason ten tables didn’t get any desserts at all. as one girl i work with is known to say, “i don’t have answers, brian.”

i’ll write more in here as things come to me. i’ll make a concerted effort now that i have it started, anyway. i’m sure your life has still been moving on, which is good, given that you’re not hospitalized or dead! like i’m sure you’re making plans to get your stuff back from new york, live with that ogre marxist guy for a few days, yada yada. i feel bad for being upset with you that time you asked for money. i don’t want you to feel like you can’t come to me for things. i’m just...always wary of pitfalls. i wanted you to really love me, and i really didn’t want to be another guy story for the next guy. that’s just how it happens, though,  huh?

i do think about that too, way back when you told me b was using you a lot in his writing, in his stories, making characters based off of you, borrowing your experiences and such. or early on when i’d ask you to tell me about guys you’d been with, and then you’d tell me a story and in my head i’d have the guy all sorted out. like i wouldn’t know them personally, but i’d know like, what they’re about, and i’d just wrap them all up in a neat tidy package. like a chapter in a book. i hope you never tell anyone else about me, after you’ve moved on and have me all figured out. i try to avoid that kind of thing when people ask about you, i’m very vague, or find a way to drop the subject. victoria is always so frustrated because she doesn’t have anything to ridicule you about when she’s jealous, she just knows i spend a lot of time with you and i’m very defensive when it comes to talking about your character or your personality. 

it’s gonna be a tough day if i ever have to put you into a box for a girlfriend down the road, i honestly don’t know how i’ll describe you. in a way that depicts The Way We Are With Each Other, i mean. like, the details just add up in really zany ways “well, she was married to this guy in new york and had just gotten out of the loony bin when we started talking, but i knew her from this stupid website called tumblr, we talked a lot about like, dolphin handjobs and donald trump and such, oh she really liked britcoms and thought i was callous, she read my palm in a hotel room once and she was very pretty with big blue eyes and kind of walked like she was falling forward, she’s the reason why i drink wine and she was supposed to give me a tattoo but we never found the time, anyway she’s dead now, tell me about yourself!” i’ll do my best to omit you, i think. it’s probably what you’d want, just like how i’d want for myself. god, why do i keep talking like you’re dead? please don’t be dead!!! i hope you’re back for halloween at the least, i always imagined that that’s when you are at your very best

to be continued, probably

[corneliussteinbeck]

GSS Spotlight: Concita Thomas

Name: Concita Thomas Age: 40 Location: Dallas, TX

What does being a Girl Gone Strong mean to you? Being a Girl Gone Strong means that I take ownership of my life and results — both the good and the bad. I acknowledge that my actions influence my outcomes. If I don’t like the outcomes that I am getting from the gym or from life, it is up to me to take different actions. It also means that I accept that outcomes aren’t guaranteed — even when I do my part. I get to balance determination and patience. The determination is to do my part and the patience is to allow God to do His part. The patience part isn’t my strong suit, but I am working on it.

How long have you been strength training, and how did you get started? I have been strength training regularly for the last 14 years. However, I started playing around with weights about 26 years ago — back when Step and Sculpt classes were popular.

What does your typical workout look like? Most times I am training to be able to keep up with my kids and feel good in my clothes so I don’t usually follow a strict training program. My aim is to get the most work done in the shortest amount of time. I stick to basic primary movements and get creative with my exercise stacking and rest periods to challenge myself. My workouts always includes some mix of squats, deadlifts, push-ups, pull-ups, and combination movements like squat and press or lunge and upright row. However, I do enjoy training shoulders and glutes for aesthetic purposes. So, sometimes I add extra isolation moves for those areas.

Favorite Lift: Deadlift! There is something so empowering about lifting heavy weight off of the floor. Plus, the skill carries over beautifully into real life. Moving furniture solo really is no big deal and I like that.

My second favorite is the Turkish Get-Up. I don’t practice it in the gym often anymore. However, when I became a mom, I really appreciated all of the TGU practice I had done.

There is something magical about being able to get off the floor with a 30-pound toddler who is fast asleep on top of you without requiring any help.

And, getting her into bed without waking her up makes me feel like a superhero.

Most memorable PR: I have two. Doing three unassisted pull-ups and doing deadlifts for reps with 215 pounds. These happened around the same time. This was during a brief stint when I decided to train for strength rather than for conditioning or aesthetics. It was pretty exciting to see how strong I could get in such a short amount of time. However, I didn’t keep training that way for long. At the time, I was more interested in training for obstacle races and keeping my workouts short.

Top 5 songs on your training playlist: What is that? Seriously, I have to admit that I don’t even have one anymore. Most days, I slip into the gym early in the morning as quietly as possible so that I don’t wake up anyone in my family. Most times, I just enjoy the silence before my family wakes up. Other times, I listen to a sermon from church or turn on Pandora radio. The station varies depending on my mood. Sometimes it is Instrumental Hip Hop or 90s Hip Hop. Other times, it is Neo-Soul. If my daughter wakes up and joins me, it is the Toddler Music station. Super weird selections but I just go with whatever mood I am in that day.

Top 3 things you must have at the gym or in your gym bag: My sports bra is the only requirement. No sports bra, no workout.

Do you prefer to train alone or with others? Why? I like a mix of both, but I train alone most times. I am extremely outgoing and give a lot of my energy when I engage with others. My workout time is my time alone to replenish that energy. Plus, my workout time varies wildly depending on my family schedule, work schedule, and my daughter’s sleeping patterns. I prefer not to add coordinating times to that mix.

I like to train with others from time to time though mostly to push myself. Every time I work out with someone else who is serious about training, it pushes me to level up even more. It isn’t about outdoing the other person but partner training helps me to see where I am holding back or staying in my comfort zone. I like that.

Most embarrassing gym moment: Well this has happened more than once. But, I would have to say I find it pretty embarrassing when I am really struggling on the last leg of a tough dropset. I promise no one ever walks by on the big bad heavy sets but the parade begins as soon as I am struggling with the lightest weight. It is kind of comical. The weird looks are hilarious.

Most memorable compliment you’ve received lately: The other day, my husband sent me a text to tell me that I was really doing a good job with life in general. It was right after I had screwed something up. So, it was the perfect little reminder that I don’t have to execute perfectly every single time. Doing my best and caring still trumps everything else.

Most recent compliment you gave someone else: I told my friend that she was better than she realizes at what she does for a living and that she can totally charge more. Funny part is that I am her client too.

Favorite meal: Any seafood meal that involves well seasoned crab or shrimp works for me.

Favorite way to treat yourself: Hands down… A VACATION! I love to travel.

Favorite quote: “To whom much is given, much is required.”

What inspires and motivates you? My ancestors and my family inspire me. When I remember all of the obstacles that those who came before me have navigated, it makes my day to day problems seem miniscule. I look at their sacrifices and triumph and know that I can handle what’s on my plate. Looking forward to the legacy that I want to leave for my family gets me going on the good days and keeps me going on the bad ones.

What do you do? I am a Food & Fitness Strategist. Sounds fancy but that means that I help women who are on a weight loss journey figure out how to move and eat in a way that gives them results without making the process a second job. I do that through my Coaching Club and one on one coaching.

What else do you do? Whenever I get a chance, I travel. Even if I just go across town to a hotel where someone else is responsible for making the beds. Outside of that, I enjoy trying adventurous activities. So far, I have tried speed boating, riding an ATV, stand-up paddleboarding, and indoor surfing. Skydiving is still on the list. I haven’t found that one thing that I do over and over again. Although, stand-up paddleboarding is the one that I have done most often.

Describe a typical day in your life: Most days, I get up around 4:30 a.m. That is my time for reading the Bible, drinking coffee, and working out. After my workout, I shower and get dressed and wake up my family. The morning is spent making breakfast and lunch and preparing to do morning drop off. After everyone is dropped off, I work. Depending on the day, work includes training clients in person, doing coaching calls with my online clients, writing articles or workouts, and interacting on social media.

I am usually able to squeeze in a leisure walk while I check in with clients online. I’m sure I look strange pacing up and down the street while staring at my phone but that works for me. Work lasts until around 2 p.m. At that point, I hop in the car to go get the kids. Pick up is followed by homework, after school activities, dinner prep, and family time. After the kids are all showered and in bed, I get to hang out with my husband. I am usually asleep by 10 p.m.

Your next training goal: I just signed up to do an Urban Dash. I haven’t done obstacle races for at least three years — definitely before I was pregnant with my daughter. So, I have included more running drills in my training and brought pull-ups back into the rotation.

For what are you most grateful? I am most grateful for choices.As I get older, I take that for granted a lot less.

Whenever I am struggling with a tough decision, I remind myself that I am extremely fortunate to have a choice. I am grateful that in many situations, I get to decide.

Of what life accomplishment do you feel most proud? I would say my first experience with natural childbirth felt like a major accomplishment. Pushing out humans without medicine was hard. It was one of the longest and most intense workouts I have ever endured. I went into it fully realizing that there were no guarantees but determined to do my part to make it happen.

So the backstory is that outside of the gym, I do not tolerate pain well. Actually, I just avoid it. For example, my doctor still uses pediatric needles on me whenever I get blood work because the bigger ones hurt. So, you can imagine the doubt that my husband had when I announced that I wanted to have a natural childbirth.

While we were going through our Bradley Method classes, he kept reminding me that I didn’t have to do this if I changed my mind. For some reason, I felt that this was the path for me. I couldn’t really explain it. I just knew it. The experience was a physical representation to me of what is possible when make a commitment and get the right training to do something you feel called to do.

I often draw on that experience when I face hard things or I am tempted to give up on something that I know I am called to do.

Which three words best describe you? Optimistic, Resilient, and Tenacious

What’s the coolest “side effect” you’ve experienced from strength training? I get a kick out of being able to do things that people assume that I can’t. So whether it is carrying all of my groceries and my toddler into the house in one trip, lifting my toddler and her stroller onto the rental car bus at the airport, or beating my son’s friend and his mom in a foot race after school, I just like feeling capable beyond expectation. That smile on my son’s face after we won was a nice little bonus too. To me, physical capability is a silent message to take me seriously — even beyond physical stuff.

How has lifting weights changed your life? I have always been tenacious, but I have always been a big rule follower. I tended to expect things to always turn out right if I took the right steps.

I think lifting weights has made me more comfortable with unpredictable progress.

Lifting weights has taught me that you can do everything right and things still may not turn out the way you expect. The process has taught me to accept that things getting ugly before they work is OK and sometimes a necessary and valuable part of the process.

What do you want to say to other women who might be nervous or hesitant about strength training? Try it. You may like it. If you don’t like it, you can always stop. There really is nothing to lose!

The post GSS Spotlight: Concita Thomas appeared first on Girls Gone Strong.

from Blogger http://corneliussteinbeck.blogspot.com/2017/08/gss-spotlight-concita-thomas.html

[katiezstorey93]

15 Unique Gift Ideas for Health or Fitness Gurus That Already Have Everything

Have you been buying unusual gift suggestions for exercise or wellness gurus that currently has everything? On which to obtain somebody in your Holiday record you’ve arrived at the best spot to acquire some suggestions. Holiday you will be below before you realize it and is 25 times absent. Like a fitness and health expert, I will think about a couple of things until it had been a unique event but usually wouldn’t purchase myself that I’d appreciate. I believe these presents could be ideal for the one you love also.

Massage Morning

The club is just an ideal place relax particularly following the hectic holidays and to relax. Quite often you may also discover bargains on Groupon to nearby schools in your town or you can purchase something special certificate so the unique individual in your checklist may choose which kind of providers they would like to do. I claim that you choose a club that’s a broad number of providers for example rock massage massage, facial manicures and sometimes even hairstyling. Should you buy a Groupon, please browse the fine-print before buying to ensure the present doesn’t end following the holidays to get a month or even more. The best thing about buys, they nevertheless may receive the certification for face-value and certainly will need to purchase the distinction in cost even when they ignore it for all weeks.

Provide a Gift-Card for Their Preferred Wholefoods Shop

Several wellness or exercise gurus are currently producing the change to consuming a broad number of wholefoods. Foods stores that are whole are usually a little more pricey than assessment shops; nevertheless, you’re currently spending money on quality meals with no dangerous additives. You are able to provide them with a card to receive for lunch you one night should you aren’t confident with providing that someone special something special card. Subsequently get the ingredients needed to make their favorite meal all.

Fresh Combination-Lock

Click even to buy the combination-lock or on the picture for info!

Are you fed up with dropping your key in the gymnasium or neglecting the arbitrary figures to open your combination-lock up? Now mix locks that use five-letter words can be found by you. Phrases are so easier remember your mixture in the gymnasium. Merely plan your preferred 5 page term as you are able to remember. You will find 000 various page combinations, more than 100 to select from.

Audio Subscription Support

I really like after I am strolling outside about the path hearing audio. I often discover advertisements really annoying which is irritating that I can’t maintain handle of my playlist. Listed here are some of my personal favorite audio subscription services: Pandora, Bing Perform, and Spotify.

Cryotherapy

Cryotherapy is just a method that is pretty new that physical fitness gurus are employing to greatly help deal to day pains and aches with day. It’s a method that utilizes severe low temps to deal with the next signs:

decrease irritation in the torso

helps recover soft tissue injury

Boosts cell restoration

Decreases indicators of aging

Enhances complexion

Decrease jetlag

Weight reduction

Elevated power

GoPro Hero 5

The camera is the greatest camera available on the market for documenting all your fitness and thrill seeking activities. It may seize as much as 30+ frames-per minute based on which type of camera that you simply select. The camera certainly will endure severe situations and problems and is tough. It’s wearable also. You are able to manage the camera so you may seize occasions that you simply don’t wish to skip so you may shape the pictures. Listed here are the brand new functions about the Hero 5.

Spectacular 12MP pictures and 4K movie in Rush Solitary and Time-Lapse settings.

Tough by-design, HERO5 Black is water-resistant to 33ft (10m) with no property

Extra GoPro HERO5 Dark Functions + Advantages below on product page.

Survey and play your pictures, change configurations and cut all-on your GoPro, your video.

The Hero 5 camera is ideal for people who appreciate ideal boarding skydiving bicyclists, along with other daring activities. Don’t let these recollections go unrecorded! You can purchase the GoPro Hero 5 on Amazon.

Weightwatchers Cookbooks

Weightwatchers is just an effective weight reduction plan that assists individuals lose weight and keep maintaining it after they achieve their objective weight. As it pertains to consuming foods their definitive goal would be to train people just how to sort fresh healthful routines, being wiser, begin exercising and supplying support. The program isn’t regarded an eating plan but rather ideal that you experienced for the or exercise gurus. Get among the top 5 weight-watchers cookbooks below.

Great Set Of Athletic Shoes

Are you aware every 3 to six months that you ought to substitute your athletic shoes based on just how many kilometers that they are placed on by you? Over time, the support inside your athletic shoes degrades over time. Ignoring your shoes that are athletic can lead to feasible accidents because of elevated pressure in your bones particularly your legs.

Splash Camera

Have you been discouraged that you are reducing off and nearly creating a collision? There is just a splash camera an ideal means to fix your condition. You merely set it-up to report each time you receive into your vehicle. It may are available in useful in case another person reaches problem for creating a collision or even actually be considered an experience in case that there surely is a collision that occurred about the highway before you. Get one nowadays from Amazon

Portable Ac for that Home Exercise Space

I usually often sweating containers after I am exercising in my own home exercise space even when the AC is cranked way along. A lightweight AC in my own home exercise space will be an inclusion that is welcomed. I will stay-cool whilst not freezing out the house’s remainder. Buy one from Amazon today!

Water-Bottle

You are able to provide the present of greater wellness giving a brand new water-bottle for Holiday to your wellbeing and exercise gurus. They create containers which are made to maintain your beverage super-cold that makes it more desirable to individuals who don’t appreciate drinking tap water. Or you are able to provide them with a berry infused water container giving the freedom to them.

Lightweight Mobile Phone Charger

Does your battery in your mobile phone strain rapidly? Switch on having a charger that is lightweight. Certainly a wide selection are of lightweight chargers available on the market. All of the chargers are suitable for any phone there are certainly a few which are brand-specific like the portable chargers that attach instead of an incident to your phone. They’re excellent to transport inside your handbag, retain in your wallet, or inside your vehicle so you may maintain your telephone billed on the run. Should you invest a lot of time outdoors, they have a lightweight mobile phone charger that utilizes solar engineering to cost your telephone. They’d create unusual gift concept or a fantastic stocking stuffer for exercise or wellness gurus in your listing. Plus, it’s something which they might really utilize on the daily schedule.

Acrylic Diffuser

During the last many years, I’ve started tinkering with oils. I truly desire that I’d a diffuser to ensure that I possibly could maintain my home smelling clear and clean to get a lengthy time period. At this time I’m presently utilizing essential oils to be diffused by my hotter in to the atmosphere. My personal favorite oils are orange eucalyptus, and comfortable sugar dessert.

Membership Container

Membership containers really are a distinctive and fun concept for that difficult to purchase for physical fitness gurus in your listing. Certainly a wide selection are of containers to select from whether or not they appreciate healthy choices beauty items, FabFitFun box and Stitchfix are a few of the choices. Nevertheless, are certainly a lot of others also.

Provide them with an All-Expense Date-Night Bundle

Day evenings are super-important plus they are an effective way to reconnect together with spouse or your partner. Select even or an enjoyable exercise guide a staycation for their occasion that is preferred. You’ll find some enjoyable exercise day tips below. Plus, exercise or wellness gurus deserve also!

Purchasing presents for somebody that currently has everything causes it to be difficult. I wish this present manual assisted you discover an ideal present to get an exercise or wellness gurus that currently possesses their favorite products all.

Which of those unusual gift suggestions for Exercise or Wellness gurus can you appreciate?

The post 15 Unique Gift Ideas for Health or Fitness Gurus That Already Have Everything appeared first on fitness.

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[gelato-of-the-day-blog]

February 20, 2017

    Interlaken! That is where I spent my weekend! And I had a great time. So much better than Prague. We booked our trip through Bus2Alps which is a travel company so Thursday night we had to meet the group at the train station. Before we left we got dinner at the sandwich shop across the street. The man there is so nice and I told him I wanted pesto and just let him make me whatever he thought went best with that. Sabrina asked for a bowl of olives and he also gave us a cheese plate. Then we dragged our suitcases through the streets of Florence to the train station where lately we have been spending a lot of time. We found the group and that is where a phenomenon started that continued throughout the weekend. Now I’m just assuming but I would say that everyone there (all being study abroad students) has had at least some education in the past. So at some point in that education I would have guessed people would learn what a line is but evidently I was wrong. There was a very long line to check in and multiple times people showed up, saw the line, and then proceeded to walk directly to the front. When I was the next person up, I took a step forward towards the women with the check-in lists and as I opened my mouth to say my name, 2 boys stepped directly in front of me, squeezing into the tiny space between me and the women and just said their names. The women looked shocked but just let them go and apologized to me once they left but I told them it wasn’t their fault. I don’t know about you guys but I would never see a line and think, “Oh but I don’t need to wait in this right?” So many people here are just so entitled. The same thing happened at check-in at the hostel, check-out, and, now that I think about it, also happened a bunch in Prague. No wonder people hate Americans. Especially the obnoxious 20 year olds.

      After that experience, we got to get on a bus for 8 hours! So fun! The bus left at 8 p.m. and got to Balmer’s Hostel in Interlaken at around 4:30 a.m. The ride wasn’t awful. I did my best to sleep but most of you know me and know that there wasn’t a good chance that was going to happen. The annoying thing was that some Italian law required the bus to stop 2 separate times for 45 minutes so it just dragged out the drive. The last 30 minutes was especially terrible because there were so many curves in the road driving up into the mountains. I was nauseous and also scared the bus was going to fall off the edge of the mountain. But we made it! Our room was in Jungfrau which took us a few tries to find and then we realized (like always) our room was all the way at the top of all of the stairs. It was also like a giant Coca-Cola advertisement. Everything was red and said Coca-Cola and there were giant pictures of people drinking Coca-Cola all over the walls. Still very unclear why. We got into bed as quickly as possible. I was reunited with my old favorite spot: the top bunk. The beds weren’t totally uncomfortable. The only problem was that if you even breathed too hard they would creak. Everyone was scared to readjust themselves in the middle of the night because it was so loud. We were all asleep by 5:15.

    The next morning it was rainy and gross so Sab and Courtney’s skydiving was rescheduled to Sunday. The three of us and Jaclyn walked into town to go to this rooftop restaurant we heard about. The view was pretty cool but you couldn’t see much because it was raining. Also, like absolutely everything in Switzerland, the food was ridiculously expensive so we got a small bottle of wine and 1 plate of garlic bread (6 small pieces) to share and paid around $8 each. We were obviously still hungry after that so we went to a dumpy Italian restaurant hoping for cheap food and ended up paying around $20 for mediocre pasta. We just hung out there until our chocolate making class at 4. The class was so much fun. We learned how to taste chocolate (like tasting wine) and got to sample a bunch of pieces. We even got to try eating a cocoa bean. It was terrible. So bitter. I liked the dark chocolate the best. I’m not a fan of white chocolate at all. Especially because we learned that it is not real chocolate. It doesn’t have any cocoa powder in it. Then we got to make our own! I chose dark but many people chose milk. We stirred the chocolate in a bowl and were told to stir until it got down to a certain temperature. A girl asked how we would know when it gets to that temperature and our teacher (?) Vlad said you put it on your nose and if it’s hot then it’s more than 98 degrees and if it’s cold it’s less. We all put chocolate on our noses before he told us that it was a joke and he had a thermometer. Vlad said mine was perfect and used it as a demonstration (because how could a lifetime of eating chocolate not pay off in some way?). Did you know that really hot chocolate, if you lift it up with a spoon, just falls in straight lines, but cooler chocolate falls in a helix shape? It’s actually the coolest thing. You can probably Google videos if you really want to see. We poured the chocolate out onto 3 templates to make chocolate bars and then got to decorate them. That part was not my best skill. Some people’s actually looked professional and mine looked like a 5 year old could’ve made them but you know what? It all tastes the same! I even put sea salt in one of them. That was the highlight of the day. The class was so much fun and we got cute pictures. Then we all went to dinner and went out at Balmer’s Club that night. Yes, Balmer’s is the name of both the hostel and the club. That is because the club is actually underneath the hostel! So convenient! Except it’s not really a club, it is basically a large frat basement. I had fun and we saw our bar friends from Prague (!!!) but we didn’t stay long.

    The next morning we got up and got bagels across the street from Balmer’s and then we went to pick up our chocolate (it had to cool overnight). While we were there I got hot chocolate that was incredible (pictured!). Then Sabrina, Courtney, and I walked to the lake where everyone goes to take pictures. The walk was about half an hour and smelled like horses the whole way but once we got there the view was spectacular. It looked fake it was so perfect. We took a bunch of pictures and then walked back. We met up with everyone else and then got on a bus (#publictransportation) for 30 minutes to Beatus. We bought day passes to the spa at this hotel there and it was actually the most incredible thing I have done in a long time. There was a large heated pool outside overlooking a lake and the mountains. We got there around 3:30 and stayed to watch the sunset. It was so gorgeous and perfect. It was even better that no one really knew about it. It was basically all locals there except for us. I would’ve taken a million pictures but we weren’t allowed to use our phones (we actually got yelled at) so we were forced to #liveinthemoment. It was actual bliss. The pool also had like a hunger games (the second book/movie) thing going on where different things would happen at different times. Like there would be a lazy river for a few minutes then it would stop and bubbles would start somewhere else in the pool. It was really fun. By the time we all showered and left it was close to 7 and it turned out that the buses to Interlaken stop running before then! Who knew? So we had to go into the hotel lobby and ask them to call us a cab. The woman was actually the nicest person we met (because everyone there and also in most of Europe is really rude) and called us a van that we managed to squeeze 11 people into. We got back in time for our 8:30 reservation at the Thai restaurant next to the hostel. We tried going out again that night but it was really not fun so we left after probably 30 minutes.

        Sunday morning by the time I woke up, Sabrina and Courtney had already jumped out of a plane. I’m very proud of them and cannot wait to see the videos. We had a very difficult time finding a place to have breakfast and then after we ate we went back to the chocolate place for more hot chocolate. We just tried to kill time until we had to get back on the bus at 3. The bus back was long and uneventful. Thankfully we only stopped once this time and were able to make it back to Florence by 10:15. It always feels good to be back in Florence. It really does feel homey and familiar. We’re already so comfortable here!

      Interlaken, while there was not much to do there for a person like me (aka unadventurous and scared of everything), I had such an amazing time. The town is beautiful and so cool to see. It is also really cool when you look up and see paragliders everywhere. It wasn’t totally relaxing but it was such a great weekend and I’m so happy I decided to go. Back in Florence for 3 days and then off the Amsterdam!