#my phone number that i used for job applications <3 my phone number that they said would stay the same even though the account changed <3

[elkian]

I think if a company lets you apply to their job through a dedicated job site (Indeed or w/e), and then messages you to inform you that, ACTUALLY, you need to go to a second site and apply there for the application to Actually Count, we should be able to steal $200,000 from the CEO's bank accounts each time.

#elk text #job hunting #what a nightmare #one of them was for a govt position #and the site they required is one I've used before #it deletes your profile if you don't use it every like 3 months #i am not rebuilding my profile on that hellhole for the third time #to apply to a job I've ALREADY APPLIED TO ON A LEGITIMATE JOB APPLICATION SITE #especially when the message has 4 phone numbers a fax and an email yet NO LINK TO THAT JOB POSTING ON THE RELEVANT SITE #fie on you. curse of job posting stays empty forever because of bureaucratic idiocy.

[blunderpuff]

my toxic trait is that i will NOT return phone calls from people who left me voicemails... when i contacted THEM by EMAIL in the first place

#this goes out to jx nx you know who you are #me: emails hr department. hr department: leaves a voicemail on my phone. me: I EMAILED YOU BECAUSE I NEEDED STUFF IN WRITING #sure deanna! go ahead and leave a new voicemail every day! THIS IS NOT HOW I CHOOSE TO BE CONTACTED. #1. the cell service up here is.... nearly nonexistent! #2. xfinity makes you have a different account in different states! so when i cancelled my CO account and activated my NM account... #THEY CANCELLED MY FUCKING PHONE NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #my phone number that i used for job applications <3 my phone number that they said would stay the same even though the account changed <3 #so i get voicemails at like 3am even though the person called me at 6pm and i couldn't call out on this phone except SOS

[artificial-transmutations]

3k - A celebration!

Hey there, guys and gals!

TLDR: There's a poll at the bottom asking which story deserves a sequel!

Today is a very special day, at least to me. After a little more of one year posting stories to Tumblr, I have reached the absolutely staggering number of 3000 followers. During this time, I have posted about 100 stories with a unbelievable (and I kid you not) 33,333 likes and reblogs. Yes, this is the exact number at the time of writing this post. Yes, I wrote a program to look that up and the number is accurate.

Let me just say: Wow. And thank you. 3000 of you found my writing enjoyable enough to want me in their feed. And there were exactly 33,333 times in the past year-and-a-bit that someone actually *liked* what they saw/read/skimmed over. I couldn't feel more honored, really.

As a celebration, I am going to do something I usually don't (even though I have been asked a couple of times): I will write a sequel or prequel or related story to one of those stories YOU liked most. Remember the program I wrote to find out my total number of notes? Yeah, the original function was to find out the stories with the most notes. Out of the top six of those, I will let you chose the one story you want to see more of. Additionally (although it is only at rank 10), as a seventh option I'll add "Your wish is my command", since that is the story I have received the most sequel requests. So, without further lamenting, here are the stories!

#1: 11:48

#2: Boyfriend Material

#3: ATArena

#4: Spice Up

#5: Beating Recession

#6: Calling the Plumber

#7: Your Wish is my Command

So! Which one is it going to be? Choose wisely!

That's it from my side for today. Stay awesome!

AT

#not a story

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Proposal

Part One of Three Years

Masterlist | Year One

Pairing: Nathan Bateman x Reader

Rating: Explicit - 18+ Only.

Length: 4.3K

Notes: ....Hi! This is the first of 2-3 fic drops. I'm hoping to push all five chapters of this fic out this weekend. Also I started writing this before the current AI market explosion. Not beta-read. Never beta-read.

Warnings: Cursing; angst; enemies to enemies who fuck; tech-talk; angst (I know I said it before but really); Nathan being Nathan

Summary: He’s shorter than you thought he’d be.

Nathan Bateman isn’t unattractive, or short, even, he’s just…Shorter. 

Of all of the things that you thought you’d feel about Nathan Bateman’s visit, surprised wasn’t what you thought would be first. Shit-scared, sure. Insanely nervous, absolutely. Surprised by his height? Not on your list.

“This could be huge for us.” 

Jenn looks at once desperate and wild-eyed as she paces in her office. You watch her closely, taking in the dark circles under her dark eyes. Her typically California-tan skin is pallid from her recent late nights, and her days spent indoors. The company is running her ragged—and this potential seed money from Nathan Bateman is throwing her into the craziest tizzy you’ve ever seen. She sweeps her hands through her frizzed auburn hair before she raises her nails to her mouth.

“I mean,” She mutters, continuing to pace, voice muffled as she chews her nails, “If we get Bateman’s backing, that’d be great, but if I can get him on the board.” She stops finally, turning to face you, lowering her chewed nails from her mouth. “That would send us into the fucking stratosphere.” 

“...Okay,” You sit up a touch. You don’t want to be a buzzkill, but you need to bring Jenn down from the fucking stratosphere. “Nathan Bateman has scheduled a meeting. Okay? A meeting. One,” You raise your finger. 

“He’s having his team go over our numbers—” 

“I know that. He’s doing the due diligence that anyone coming in would be expected to do. Just, don’t put all of your eggs in one basket when we haven’t even gotten the basket yet.” 

“Come on,” Jenn groans. “I could be the next Steve Jobs!” 

“Yes, you absolutely could. But if you keep putting your focus on the idea stuff and not on the structure and application stuff, you’re going to be the next Elizabeth Holmes. And honey, I love you, but you do not look good in orange.” 

Jenn deflates just a little, slouching back against the windows that stretch from the floor to the ceiling. 

“...It clashes with my hair,” She grumbles. 

“I’m not saying don’t be excited at all," You insist, "I’m just saying…We’re bringing him in to talk about financing. How freaked out would you be if you went on a first date with someone and instead of asking for a second date, they said, Hey this was fun, let’s get married.”

“...Pretty freaked.” 

“Right. And asking someone to join the board is like a business-y 3.5 carat pear cut diamond on an infinity band. So. Let's schedule an All Hands, give the team a heads up, get them prepped. Before that, though, we need to get you some fucking lunch and some sunshine.” 

“You’re my sunshine.” 

“Awww,” You coo before you get up, adding, “Seriously. Get your phone and your sunglasses, we’re going out.” 

“But I have an email from prod—” 

“Production about the user profile settings set to drop at the end of the week. I know, I answered it already. Phone. Sunglasses. Lunch. Let’s go.” 

"You'll be here, right?"

You frown, shaking your head in slight confusion, and Jenn clarifies: "For his tour. You'll be here?"

You consider, glancing at your phone. If you can get the time off—but that's no guarantee.

"I'll try."

--  

When Jenn started Sc(ai)le three years ago, you’d had no idea that it would take off the way it would. You knew that Jenn was brilliant, you’d never had a doubt about that. But you couldn’t have anticipated how quickly varying industries moved to scale AI. Jenn had assembled a team of engineers, scientists, and sales reps. She trusts her teams, and they work hard to keep the company in motion.

But Jenn still insists in being very much hands-on everywhere she possibly can, sometimes to hers and the company’s detriment. She needs a Chief Knowledge officer, a Chief Information officer, and a Chief Marketing officer. She has a Chief Tech officer, a Chief Financial officer, a Chief Compliance officer, a Chief Data officer—all incredibly knowledgeable in their fields. She wants a board, too, but you’re worried that the company may still be too young for it. 

You work with the SVP of Marketing now and again, helping her to manage the way marketing materials are created, where they’re stored, and how they’re distributed. You’re working with Sc(ai)le part-time, on a temporary basis (though it’s technically been ‘temporary’ since the company started). Jenn needs an official team, with people that can work with her full-fucking-time. You have a full-time job at a separate tech company, one that’s well away from the AI space. You’d been worried their hackles would be raised when you informed them that you’d be taking a part-time position elsewhere, but they hadn’t even flinched. 

Hell, your manager had asked you if you’d be able to get them an employee discount. You may just have to take a few days off for Bateman’s visit.

You don’t blame Jenn for being so excited, or so nervous. 

Nathan fucking Bateman? This is huge. 

But if both of you have your heads in the fucking clouds, neither of you are gonna make it out of orbit. So you’ll keep yourself grounded, and bring Jenn back down to Earth if you absolutely have to. 

-- 

He’s shorter than you thought he’d be.

Nathan Bateman isn’t unattractive, or short, even, he’s just…Shorter. 

Of all of the things that you thought you’d feel about Nathan Bateman’s visit, surprised wasn’t what you thought would be first. Shit-scared, sure. Insanely nervous, absolutely. Surprised by his height? Not on your list.

You glance over at Jenn to find her tipping her chin up, slapping on her I Should Be On the Cover of Forbes smile. It’s the smile that’s brought every other investor on board. It’s the smile that’s brought on every single team member in the company. Now, you can only hope that it’ll bring Nathan Bateman into her coffers.

Where you’d typically leave Jenn to finesse any other investor, you stick close by. You trail Bateman and Jenn by a few steps as she directs him around the offices, and the facility. 

He asks a fair number of questions. A few are unexpected, but for the most part, they’re things that you and Jenn had anticipated. The three of you come to a stop overlooking a row of engineers. You don’t want to appear nonchalant, but with Bateman and Jenn focused elsewhere, you allow yourself to lean back against the wall, eyeing the room. It’s then that you see an engineer flagging you down, a harried look on her face. You glance toward Bateman and Jenn’s heads and make sure they’re distracted before you push yourself off of the wall, skirting around the two and walking over to her as calmly as possible. 

“What’s up?” You ask, crouching down beside the engineer’s desk. 

“The marketing team sent through a brief about the user profiles—” 

“Uh-huh—” 

“And there’s an error regarding the, uh—The functionality.” 

“Okay. Where’s the problem, what’s the fix?” 

“Our systems are starting at Mac- or Blue-OS compatible.” 

“But not Windows?” 

“Most of the companies we use don’t touch Windows OS anymore.” 

“But we have got a few clients that do.” 

“Yes, we’re—We’re working on it. But this can’t go out like this, it’s not correct.” 

“Okay,” You nod, mind racing through the possible, necessary fixes. “Okay. Could I use your laptop for a second?” 

“Sure.” 

The engineer starts to stand, but you wave her back into her seat, just turn the laptop toward yourself. You hurriedly log into your email on a web page, and tap out an email to the marketing SVP. 

“Mac and Blue only,” You reiterate as you type. 

“—But not Windows, yep.” 

“Do we have an expected date on Windows functionality?” 

“Q2 of next year—Maybe Q1, but—” 

“We don’t wanna over-promise and underdeliver,” You shoot the engineer a smile. “I appreciate the honesty.” 

The engineer nods hurriedly. You feel her casting a glance behind you, but you’re already turning back to the laptop, practically hammering the keys as you send out the message. You lean back, reading and rereading the message before you CC your work email, Jenn’s, and the engineer in question. Then you send it, straighten up, and sign out of the email. 

“I’ve put myself and Jenn on the email, we will take it from here. Thank you so much for flagging that—And if anything comes up, please text, email, slack me. Anything.” 

“Thank you!” 

“No, thank you,” You insist, patting her shoulder. You straighten and turn, and freeze immediately at the sight of Jenn and Bateman standing just behind you. You swallow thickly, fighting to keep a straight face. 

“I didn’t mean to hold up the tour,” You apologize. “You guys could’ve moved on, I would’ve caught up.” 

“Everything alright?” Bateman asks, nodding toward the engineer. 

“Yes. Just a little communications update.” You give them both a reassured smile. “Why don’t we continue?” You add, nodding down the hall. 

--  

“What are you doing for dinner tomorrow?” 

It’s a question that he should be asking Jenn, and that’s why your mouth works wordlessly, your brow furrowing heavily. It’s a bad look—Nathan Bateman has asked you a simple question, and you’re floundering like a landed fish. 

“Uh—Shoving something in the microwave, probably?” You manage with a shaky laugh as you put your laptop into your bag. You haven't been able to take the time off as much time as you’d hoped, and you’ll have to make up what time you have taken to keep yourself on track. “I’m working a double, so, I’ll get off shift around one in the morning.” 

“A double.” 

“...Yes? It’s when you work two shifts at—” 

“I know what a double is.” 

Jeez, of course he does. 

“Right. Sorry. You seemed—...Anyway.” 

“I seemed what?” 

Confused is the wrong word to use with this man. 

“Inquisitive?” You offer. Nathan’s brows tip impossibly higher, his chin angling down to gaze at you over the tops of his glasses. 

“One,” He finally confirms. “How’s 1:30 for you?” 

“For what?” 

“For dinner.” 

“I—I don’t think I’ve ever eaten dinner that late in my life. I don’t even go out that late anymore.” 

“But you’ll make an exception?” 

“Do I have to?” 

When he smiles, you know that you will have to. 

“I’ll send you the details.” 

That’s it. He breezes away from your desk space. He doesn’t offer to walk you to your car; he doesn’t ask you any questions about what you want to eat, or what you like to eat. He just walks away. You look after him for a moment before you look down, taking up your laptop chord and wrapping it with a mutter of, 

“Dinner at 1:30 in the morning? Not in fucking college anymore…What’s even gonna be open that late for fucking dinner?” 

You think, and then giggle. 

Maybe Nathan Bateman is going to take you to McDonald’s. 

--  

“You ever been here before?” 

“Uhh…” You peer down at the menu. It’s timeworn, and splattered with what look like gravy stains. At least—well, you hope it’s gravy. “Nope, can’t say I have.” 

The diner has a vintage bent to it. The seats are all coated in robin’s egg blue vinyl; the floor is tiled like a checkerboard; the walls are pepto-pink. There’s a jukebox in the corner, but the oldies being played in the diner are coming from a few recessed speakers in the ceiling. You glance up again as you hear Bateman shifting in his seat. He’s lounging back in his seat like he owns the damn place. 

…Maybe he does own the damn place. 

It could explain why they’re open so late, at least. There are a few other people in the diner, a ways away. Now and again, an explosive swell of cackling laughter will pass over your way before one of their party hurries to hush them. You glance back curiously as you hear one of them add, 

“Dude, you’re gonna get us kicked out again.” 

“So how long have you known Jenn?” Bateman asks. 

“Oh, gosh,” You turn back to him. “Since Kindergarten. She’s my oldest friend.” 

“You two seemed pretty close during the tour yesterday.” 

“Did we?” 

“Insomuch as you were her shadow.” 

You close your mouth, reaching for your water. You had shadowed because Jenn had asked—but you’re in no position to quibble with this man. You’ve no need, either; he goes on: 

“How was your double?” 

“It was fine.” 

“What are you working on?” 

“I work at a company that produces technical books and longform guides for—” 

“I know where you work, that wasn’t my question. What are you working on.” 

The bored, irritated tone in his voice raises your hackles, and it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. But you swallow your annoyance in favor of giving a straightforward answer: “Right now, a quantum software engineering roadmap.” 

“Are you enjoying it?” 

“The writing can be a little dry, but the subject matter is interesting.” 

“Hm…” Bateman nods, his eyes sweeping your face curiously. You fight the urge to shift or fidget under the scrutiny of his gaze. 

Can you ask questions? Are you allowed? Why does this man make you feel like you’re in a damn interview? Your gazes break as a waitress comes over, a pad in hand and an expectant smile on her face. You instinctively offer her one in return as you order. You don’t really hear what Bateman orders; you’re too busy wracking your mind for things that came up on yesterday’s tour—pain points, questions that Jenn promised she’d get back to him on. 

“So,” Bateman’s voice snaps your focus back to him, and you arch your brows as you meet his eyes again. ��In your opinion, what’s the company lacking?” 

It’s a slap of a question. Your brows manage to inch higher. Oh…God. No wonder he didn’t want to do this with Jenn around.

“Uh…” Is your initial succinct answer. You clear your throat, taking your glass up for another sip, gathering yourself. You could say that Jenn has everything she needs, save for capital. You could say that the team is rowing as one one, your little unsinkable ship, the Sc(ai)le. 

But Nathan Bateman is a genius, and a billionaire, and a man with a low tolerance for bullshit. 

“She needs a complete C-Suite,” You admit firmly as you set your glass aside. “She needs a solid, knowledgeable team behind her. We’re doing the best that we can now, and the Chief positions that she has filled are pushing the company in the right direction, but the ones that she doesn’t are slowing down growth. We need a CMO and a CKO and a CIO, like...Yesterday. We have a lot of data, and we have a lot of marketing materials—and the seniors VPs in those positions are doing the best they can, but you can only fill a leaky bucket so many times before the handle breaks. The company doesn’t have the capital to bring those positions on, and until it does, the company’s going to continue to grow at half-speed because the plane’s being flown while it's still being built."

Bateman doesn’t react for a moment. His silence makes your stomach twist with nerves; your palms are sweating. 

“I didn’t think you’d say that,” He finally says. You can’t help but laugh a little. 

“Look—I could tell you that we’re all one happy family, and that the only thing wrong is the fact that bluebirds don’t land on our shoulders and code for us—” Your stomach flips as Bateman’s lips twitch with a smile, “But you’ve already been inside. You’ve looked through our books, you’ve seen the facility. And if you’re going to go in on investment, you’re going to see the dirty laundry anyway. I may as well show you where the hamper is.” 

“You like your metaphors.” 

“It’s the writer in me.” 

Bateman’s brow quirks a touch as he nods. 

“...Why aren’t you full time?” He asks. That question throws you for a loop. You shake your head a little—like it’ll knock an answer loose. But the answer—the truth—is that you and Jenn haven’t worked well together in the past. Sure, you’re part-time now, but you hardly ever interfere with her day-to-day unless it’s to coax her out of her office to get some air or a meal. You prefer to take your time with a project, and Sc(ai)le is in a growth period where time is of the essence. 

“...It’s not…” You start, brow furrowing as you grapple for a reasonable answer, “What Sc(ai)le does, it isn’t what I do.” 

“The company has technical writers.” 

“...Yeah—” 

“It needs someone that knows how to compile the information, translate it for the average consumer—” 

“But—” 

“Just tell me they can’t afford you.”  

Your chest twinges with indignation. 

“That’s not true,” You insist. 

“So they can afford you.” 

“That’s not what I—” 

“Which one is it?” 

“You’re twisting my words, and I don’t appreciate that.” It leaves you more harshly than it should, and you damn your tone immediately. There’s no way scolding this man is gonna bring him on board. You realize that your shoulders have scrunched defensively and risen toward your ears, and you force yourself to relax them. But Nathan’s lips just twitch again, his eyes bright with amusement. 

“...Why aren’t you full-time?” He repeats. 

“I told you. This isn’t what I do.” 

“It could be.” 

You don’t want to make the concession, but the look on Bateman’s face tells you that he’s got you pinned. So you give a small, begrudging nod. 

“Hypothetically.” 

His smile widens at your confirmation. You want to smack him. 

But that really won’t bring him on board. 

--  

You expect Jenn to grill you for your time with Nathan the second you get in, but she’s grabbing your hand and hissing, “He’s here, and he’s waiting.” 

“What?” You ask dazedly, pulling your sleeve back to eye the watch face where it rests on the inside of your wrist. “He’s not supposed to be here for another two hours! I didn’t see an email—”

“He didn’t send one! He just showed up!”

You pull Jenn to a stop in the hall, slowing her with a gentle, “Whoa, whoa—Okay. Look at me.” 

Jenn stops, eyes wide, head shaking minutely as she tries to continue walking toward the conference room, insisting, “We’re already late—” 

“Slow down!” You urge. She looks stricken, and you immediately feel guilty. You take her hand in yours, giving it a squeeze before drawing in a deep breath. Jenn hesitantly does the same, pushing it out when you do. You draw in another, and are relieved as she copies you, some of the tension melting from her face as she closes her eyes. You watch her pull in and push out one more deep breath before she opens her eyes slowly, nodding. 

“Thank you,” She breathes, patting your hand before she tugs down the hall again. 

--  

“I like what I’m seeing.” 

Bateman’s assertion shouldn’t surprise you, but it does. Sc(ai)le is a good company, something that would make sense in his portfolio. But he’s so steady and calm as he peers out of the office of Jenn’s window. 

You don’t like how he’s commandeered the space behind her desk. She shouldn’t be sitting on the other side of it with you; she should be behind it, with him—or he should be on your side. 

Still, Nathan pushes himself off of the window, turning to face Jenn. His gaze flickers to you before he looks down at something laid out on the desk. 

“Your initial proposal was…Whadda we got here…” Bateman tuts as he turns a page. You think he must be dragging it out for suspense—there’s no way he doesn’t have those numbers memorized. Sure, it must be chump change to him, but it’s still a big fucking number. “One million for a fifteen percent stake in the company.” 

“That’s right,” Jenn nods. 

“I’ll give you four.” 

“...Four?” Jenn repeats dazedly. 

“Four million for what percent?” You ask before she can leap up, kiss the man on the lips, and accept. 

“Fifteen,” Bateman affirms. Your eyes narrow at him. This doesn’t feel right. He adds, “I have one condition, though.” 

“Name it,” Jenn nods. You glance at her nervously. You’re certain that if he told her to strip naked and run through the office covered in spray cheese, she’d do it right this second. 

“You come on as CKO, CIO, and CMO.”

Your brow furrows as Jenn turns to you. Who comes on? Jenn? She’s already CEO for fuckssake—

And then Jenn turns to you, eyes wide and insistent as she nods toward Bateman. Your head snaps to him, stunned. He’s waiting with that same patient, bored expression that he'd given you with all throughout dinner. 

“You want me to take on three C-Suite positions?” You ask, brows raising. “Are you that strapped for cash that you won’t spring for two more people?” 

Jenn hisses your name in warning. You know it’s the wrong thing to say, but to your surprise, Bateman just smiles and leans against Jenn’s desk. 

“Hear me out,” He waves your irritation off. “I want to roll the positions of CKO and CIO into one. Chief Knowledge and Information officer.” 

“And add Chief Marketing officer on top of them.” 

“That’s right. You’re much quicker on the uptake than you were the other night. No, it’s alright—I’m sure the double shift and the late dinner had you off your game.” 

You want to argue, but Nathan is already turning his attention to Jenn. 

“Four mill for a fifteen percent stake,” He reiterates before nodding toward you. “And her.” 

What would Jenn get if you didn’t come on? One million at fifteen? Two million at thirty? Nothing at all? You can’t bring yourself to look at Jenn just now—you know you’re getting a pleading expression. So you keep your eyes on Bateman, and his expectant expression. He knows he’s got you backed into a corner. 

“...Does this condition have a term limit?” You ask. Bateman purses his lips, seeming to think for a moment. Then he levels you with an ungodly answer:

“Three years.” 

You feel like you’ve been punched in the gut. You only just manage not to double over with it. Three years. Three years inhabiting two positions that you never wanted or asked for. Three years working with your oldest friend on her passion project, knowing that you will lock horns on approach. Three years of Nathan Bateman hanging over your head. 

You can’t face Jenn. One look at those hopeful, doe-like eyes and you’re going to fold like a house of cards. You can’t look at Bateman. One look at him and you’re going to lunge in, slap him silly, and ask what the fuck is wrong with him. 

You look down at your lap. 

Three years. Three years or what? Nathan pulls his backing? Asks for repayment? That could level the company, and everything that Jenn has worked for would disappear overnight. 

Three years. 

You don’t ask about the pay. You don’t care about that. You’re not doing badly as it is. Two C-Suite positions (well, three) would surely pay you more than you make now, but still. 

Three years. 

You’ve been considering leaving your current job. You’ve been chugging along happily, though you’ve started to get too settled, too bored. Too complacent. But you've been ducking away from management positions at job after job because you just don't want to be in charge of people. You want to be fully in the action, working on the words, not floating above them and giving them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. This isn’t like anything you’d consider throwing yourself into. 

Three years. 

This is bigger than you and Jenn. Pumping more money into this company would give Sc(ai)le the chance to expand its staff, upgrade it's tech, bring on a more comprehensive QA team.

You draw in a deep breath, giving a small hesitant nod. 

“Alright,” Leaves your mouth before you can talk yourself out of it. 

“You’ve got yourself a deal,” Bateman bats back without missing a beat. You can hear a note of triumph there, one that makes you want to reach into his throat and rip out his layrnx. Jenn is springing out of her seat, pumping Bateman’s hand enthusiastically and telling him that he won’t regret it. You’re staring down at your hands, your head and chest feeling hollow, like you’ve just been jailed for three consecutive life sentences. 

Three years. 

Bateman’s hand enters your field of vision, outstretched and patient. You eye it for a moment. 

You could still tell him to go fuck himself. But you glance up at Jenn, and find her beaming down at you. Her eyes are bright with joyful tears; her hands are clasped to keep from visibly shaking. 

You can’t tell him to go fuck himself, and he knows it.

So you suck in a deep breath and raise your hand, shaking Bateman’s without meeting his gaze. 

“We should grab a drink to celebrate,” He insists. You let go of his hand and push yourself up shakily. 

“I—Have some things I need to sort out. You two go on,” You add, slapping on an encouraging smile and turning to Jenn. 

“Sure,” Bateman concedes. “You have a letter of resignation to write.” 

You pat Jenn’s shoulder on the way out, hardly meeting Bateman's eye as you go. You get into your car, and drive back to your apartment. You mechanically unlock your door, drop your keys in the bowl by the entryway, kick your door shut. You don’t bother to turn the lights on. The sun is streaming in through your front window with a vengeance. You walk over to your bar cart and take up a bottle of whiskey. You don’t bother with a glass. You just plop into your favorite armchair and curl up. You don’t cry. You don’t scream. You just stare blankly at the wall. 

Three years. 

Next Part: Year One

Tag list: @missredherring ; @fantasticcopeaglepasta ;  @paintballkid711 ; @massivecolorspygiant ; @blueeyesatnight; @recklessworry ; @amneris21 ; @ew-erin ; @youngkenobilove ; @carbonated-beverage ; @lorecraft ; @moonlightburned ; @milf-trinity ; @nolanell ; @millllenniawrites ; @chattychell ; @dihra-vesa​ ; @videogamesandpoorlifechoices​ ; @missswriter ; @thembosapphicclown ; @brandyllyn ; @wildmoonflower ; @buckybarneshairpullingkink ; @mad-girl-without-a-box ; @winchestershiresauce ; @aellynera ; @writefightandflightclub ; @thedukeofcaladan ; @beepboopyoda ; @foxilayde ; @revolution-starter ; @rachelwritesstuff ; @queen-of-elves

#Nathan Bateman x Reader #Nathan Bateman x You #Nathan Bateman/Reader #Nathan Bateman/You #Nathan Bateman fic #Nathan Bateman imagine #Three Years

[macgyvermedical]

Hello! I wanted to ask about Americorps. :) First off, are they always taking people? Given the difficulty of finding a job as of late, I was wondering if hiring/the acceptance of applications has slowed any. Second, what's the pay like? Is it just enough to live on, or enough that you could put some towards college debt or savings? Third, where could you apply; are there recruiting centers or is it all online? Fourth, what's life like in the corps, per your experience?

Here are the programs currently accepting applications (6/4/24). The applications are pretty much always open for at least one entry time (there are 3 entries per year- Fall, Winter, and Summer). I know that the acceptance rate changes with the number of applications, and some years they take everyone, while other years they take fewer applicants. The only way to know if you get in is to apply.

You can use the search feature below to see what programs are available. Make sure the "AmeriCorps NCCC" and "AmeriCorps NCCC Team Leaders" buttons are clicked, click nothing else, and hit "search".

Since it's service, the pay is a stipend. When I was in NCCC in 2018, the stipend for CMs was $300/month and the stipend for TLs was $800/month. I think it's more now so if anyone knows please let me know so I can give more updated info. Keep in mind that:

All your basics- food, transportation, lodging, etc... is covered in full

Any federally backed student loans you have go into forbearance and the interest is paid by AmeriCorps

You get an education award of about $7,000 per service term (up to 2) that can go toward future education, job training or to pay off existing student loans

Basically the only thing you pay for while in NCCC is your cell phone bill and any personal care items, personal clothing, etc...

I saved about half of my stipend while I was in NCCC

Other AmeriCorps programs, like VISTA, pay essentially the local poverty line, since part of the program is learning to live on very little.

You apply online. Call 1-800-942-2677 if you need any help with the application.

#americorps #americorps NCCC #I swear I'm not affiliated

[writingplotbunnies]

Best Served Cold (3/?)

Pairing: Jax Teller x OFC

Summary: After an eventful start to her day, Sophie meets more of Charming's residents and everyone wants to get to know her.

Word Count: ~3500

Warnings: angst, illegal activity, possessive behavior, sexual content, canon typical violence

A/N: This is my first SOA fic, so let me know what you think. This will be a multipart fic, so let me know if you want added to the taglist.

Walking into the station, Sophie felt a bit nervous because she might have fibbed a bit on her application. She’d filed paperwork before, answered a phone, but she’d never actually been a receptionist. Never worked in an office. Still, she figured in a small town like Charming, it wouldn’t be too difficult to engage in some on-the-job training. And she did possess the ability to fake it until she figured it all out. She hoped. No, what she needed was access. People who worked in buildings like this tended to believe in the system. Rarely did they go looking for a mole. They didn’t want to assume the worst, and most worked hard to ignore it even when they saw the signs because good people didn’t snitch. Good people followed the rules and allowed the laws to protect them. Until they didn’t. 

“You must be Sophie.” 

An older man with a mostly bald head and patchy grey hair on the sides came out of one of the offices. The weariness in his eyes reminded her of the base commander at her first station. He’d been counting the days until retirement, and always seemed lost in memories of earlier days. This man had that same distant gaze. 

She waved her hand. “Hi. That’s me.” 

“Wayne Unser. Thought I heard the sound of a bike.”

“You did,” Sophie said with a nod. “Jax gave me a ride. Had a bit of trouble with my car this morning. David told me to take it over to TM. It’s why I’m late.” 

“Hope it’s nothing serious.” 

Sophie shook her head. “Just a flat tire. Mostly just annoyed it happened today. Didn’t want my first impression to be showing up late.” 

Wayne made a dismissive hand gesture. “Don’t worry about that. Welcome to Charming. I’ll let David get you set up, but my door’s always open if you need anything.” 

“Thanks.” 

David came out of a different office a bit further down the same hallway and offered Sophie a wide smile. 

“Glad you made it.” 

She followed him to a large horseshoe desk near the front of the building. The placement made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, but she figured most people thought having her back to a bunch of cops would be a safe place to be. Maybe she could shift the desk just a bit, enough to give her line of sight both out of the building and down the hallway. She did like the view offered by the large plateglass windows. 

“I wanted to go over a couple of things with you before you get started,” David said as he sat on the edge of her desk. 

Sophie put her purse in the bottom drawer of the desk and turned to face him. “Sure.” 

“San Bernardino transferred your CCW documents to us, and given your military background, I’m sure you’re probably the best shot in the whole office, but I can’t have you carrying a weapon on the job. Not in a police station. But, you shouldn’t need to worry about your safety here. There’s a silent alarm wired under the desk. You feel unsafe, press the button.” 

Sophie wanted to roll her eyes at his very afterschool special approach to this conversation. California law only allowed her three weapons on her CCW, so officially, she owned three. She scrubbed the serial numbers from the others and figured what the good deputy didn’t know…

Playing into his clear need to make her feel safe, she placed her hand on his forearm and prepared to lie through her teeth. “I appreciate it, and I understand the rule. Even the Corps had places you didn’t take your sidearm; I didn’t bring it here. I’m just so accustomed to being armed that I almost feel naked without it. It might seem silly to you, but it’s like leaving the house without shoes.” 

David smiled. He did that a lot and she wondered how much of it was cop training and how much was him. 

“You can keep it locked up in your car if that makes you feel more comfortable. Just can’t be in the building.” 

Nodding her head, Sophie didn’t say anything. If Sophie felt, truly felt, unsafe? She’d need a damn good lawyer because the bodies would litter the foyer. For everyone’s sake, she just hoped none of the good citizens of Charming made her feel unsafe . 

David placed a hand on her shoulder as he stood from the desk. “I’ll go get you that coffee I owe you. Cream? Sugar?”

“Sugar.” 

She spent most of the morning filling out paperwork and sorting through the stacks of folders on the desk. It provided her the opportunity to learn more about the community, identify the players, and add some details to her still underdeveloped plan. Most of it was expected. Parking tickets, speeding tickets, a few notices about disturbing the peace. A lot of it was copies of permits for various things. California loved to create permits. It was when she was sorting through a stack of building permit copies that his name caught her eye. Ethan Zobelle planned to open another one of his fucking cigar shops on Main Street. As expected, the bastard had crossed every t and dotted every i . Her grip on the folder increased, she could see the way the papers warped around her fingers. He always appeared to be the perfect, upstanding businessman. No one cared that he associated with, supported, and endorsed neo-Nazi ways. Even fewer cared that he had strong ties to the Aryan Brotherhood, had killed or sanctioned the kill of many. The man was a murdering bastard. A criminal in a fancy suit. In the months following her sister’s death, Sophie hadn’t been able to figure out who kept protecting him, which left a short list of potentials that made her stomach roll. That’s why she’d followed him to Charming, why she’d gotten herself a job at the station. Something about him, about how he operated didn’t add up, and she needed answers before she blew his brains all over the pavement. 

“Hey!” 

The sound of someone snapping their fingers in her face drew her attention. Scowl on her face, she turned to see a blonde woman in a suit that screamed “I’m a federal agent, ask me how” standing over her desk. Sophie had worked enough operations with other agencies to recognize the scent of one. Not all of them were bad, but the ones that were always managed to cast a large shadow. 

“Can I help you?” 

Sophie couldn’t keep the irritation from her voice, but having someone she’d never met snap their fingers in her face didn’t make for a great first impression. 

“I’m sure it’s difficult to find the right pile in this game of Tetris you have going, but my team needs your help.” 

Sophie swung her chair around to face the woman, and crossed her arms across her chest. “Does your team sign my paycheck?” 

The woman rocked back a bit, as though surprised Sophie hadn’t been overcome with joy at being asked, rather rudely, to be a fetch and carry girl. 

“I haven’t seen you around here.” 

“I’m new in town. Just started today.” 

“June Stahl. ATF.” 

“Ah,” Sophie nodded. “Then you don’t sign my paycheck.” 

“Sophie,” Unser called as he came towards the front. He caught sight of Agent Stahl standing by her desk and his whole face changed. Giving the good agent a rather contemptuous look he said, “Oh, I see you’ve met Sophie.” 

Agent Stahl smiled, but it made Sophie want to press the panic button David had told her about earlier. She knew the type. Figured this woman was all about proving herself in a man's world. The type that figured the ends always justified the means, so long as she collected the acclaim along the way. 

“We’re getting acquainted.” 

“Yeah,” Sophie replied dryly. “We’re gonna weave friendship bracelets over lunch. Braid each other’s hair.” 

Unser made a sort of confused frown, shook his head. “Right, well, Sophie, I was going to tell you to head out early today. David told me you got into town yesterday. I doubt you’ve had a chance to unpack yet.” 

Sophie shrugged. “I’m used to living out of my pack, but I’m not gonna turn down an offer to get out of Dodge early.” 

Standing from her chair, Sophie reached for her purse before glancing over her shoulder at Agent Stahl. “Guess I’m gonna have to take a rain check on your offer, Agent Stahl.” 

The woman offered her a biting smile but didn’t say anything.

“Great,” Unser said. “I’ve gotta talk to Clay. I’ll give you a ride over to TM.” 

Like a dog who’d just caught the scent of a rabbit, Agent Stahl’s whole body perked up. “For someone who just came into town, you make friends quickly.”

The desire to roll her eyes nearly overwhelmed her, but she decided to feign confusion instead. “I guess? The mechanics were nice enough when I dropped my car off this morning, but other than telling them I caught a nail in my tire, we didn’t exactly exchange life stories.” 

She watched Stahl’s shoulders slump ever so slightly but also saw how her eyes narrowed. The woman had a hardon for the MC, and given the way Unser eyed her, Stahl had likely caused quite a stir when she and her team of suits rolled into town. 

Unser waved her towards the door, and she allowed herself to be escorted out of the station. They didn’t say anything as they walked over to his squad car, but once they’d both closed the doors, Unser tilted his head back against the headrest and let out a deep sigh. 

“She always that delightful, or is it just because I’m new around here?” 

Unser chuckled. “That was her being friendly and inviting.” 

“Can’t wait to see her again tomorrow.” 

Unser started the car, rolled down the window, and lit a joint. Sophie eyed him, a small smirk on her lips. He caught her gaze and held the joint out. 

“I’ve got cancer. It’s my medicine.” 

Sophie shrugged. “Hey, you’re the law around here. Ain’t none of my business how you spend your money.” 

“I haven’t figured you out yet.” 

At least he was being direct.

“Not sure what there is about me you need to figure out.” 

“A young, successful woman like you doesn’t just show up in Charming to be a receptionist.” 

“You don’t really need to talk to anyone at TM, do you?” 

Unser took a long drag. “Nah. But this way you and I get to have a chat. Exchange pleasantries.” 

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Sheriff.” 

“I don’t suppose you’d just tell me what brought you to Charming?”

She took the joint from his fingers and took a drag before handing it back. “It’s always been my life’s ambition to work the reception desk at a small town police station. Wrote about it in my dream journal, too.” 

He gave her an unimpressed look. “Course not.” 

They pulled into the TM lot and Sophie hurried from the car. She rounded the front and leaned her arms across the open window. 

“If anything brought me here, you know there wouldn’t be a damn thing you or anyone in that office could do about it including that bitch from ATF. I know you’ve read my file, but I’m just here looking for a little peace.” 

“You picked a hell of a town for that.” 

The sound of footsteps coming up behind her halted the rest of their conversation. Unser looked almost relieved. 

“Everything okay? Thought you were gonna call when you were done.” 

Smile on her face, she turned to face Jax, honestly glad to see him. He had more grease across his forehead, and she wanted to reach up and wipe it off. He leaned across her and glanced into the cruiser.

“Unser.” 

“Jax.” 

“The Chief offered to give me a ride. Seemed silly to bother you when he was coming out here anyway. Said he needed to talk to someone named Clay.”

Jax nodded, turned his gaze back to Unser. “Clay’s in the clubhouse.” 

“Right.” 

Sophie tried to cover her laugh with a cough. She could see Unser trying to come up with a reason he needed to talk to Clay. Jax wrapped an arm around her, gently moving her back from the car as Unser got out. The sheriff shot her a withering glance before heading towards the clubhouse. 

“Come on.” 

Jax led her over to the garage. Her car sat in one of the bays. Her lips turned down as she noticed the front passenger tire was still missing. Turning towards Jax, she glared as he held his hands out in front of her. 

“Why is my car still missing a wheel?” 

Sophie didn’t miss the twinkle in Jax’s eye, even as he took a small step back as she tried to close in on him. It had just been a hole in her tire. A tiny, little hole. She hated seeing her baby up on a lift all incomplete. 

“Is that the owner?” 

Seeking the voice, she looked over her shoulder, putting her back to Jax. A man with dark curly hair and a bit of a wild look in his eyes stood by one of the toolboxes, a rag in his hand. He reminded her of one of the demo experts she ran a couple of ops with. No matter the situation, he’d always seemed a heartbeat away from doing something reckless, but entertaining. The man hurrying towards her had an eerily familiar glint in his eyes. Maybe the two were related. Distant cousins or something.  

“Yeah. This is Sophie.” 

Unlike the other folks she’d been introduced to, this guy scooped her up into his arms and spun her around in a strange hug that had her throwing her arms around her neck for balance. A laugh tumbled past her lips as he spun a second time. 

“Tig! Put her down you horny bastard,” Jax growled. 

He set Sophie on her feet but didn’t let go of her right away. Before she could step back, or even really catch her breath, he pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek. 

“You’re beautiful. And your car is a fucking miracle. Marry me.” 

She laughed because what else was she supposed to do? “You can’t have my car.” 

He gave the best set of puppy eyes she’d seen in a long time. Before she could say anything else, Jax snaked his arms around her waist and tugged her solidly into his body. Everything about the move screamed “hands off” and she couldn’t quite find it in herself to hate it. The solid chest at her back felt warm and the hands wrapped around her waist found a small patch of exposed skin at her hips. 

“Aw, come on, Jax. She’s gonna be too much woman for you to handle. I mean, look at that car,” Tig whined as he pointed at the Charger. 

“Given that it’s still missing a tire, seems like the car’s too much for you, Tig,” Sophie sassed. 

Tig threw a hand against his chest as though he’d been shot. “Aw, sweetheart, you wound me.” 

“I’m going to wound someone if you don’t tell me why there’s still no tire on my car.” 

“Calm down, darlin’,” Jax said as he turned her around to face him. 

She noticed how he kept at least one hand on her at all times, how Tig now kept a semi-respectable distance from her. It reminded her of how the War Boys had acted around Olivia, how she only ever rode on the back of Drifter’s bike. There’d been a clear order to things. Sophie had noticed it the handful of times she’d been around their clubhouse. Given Jax’s behavior, Sophie thought maybe the Sons had a similar set of rules. If they’d been dogs, she wouldn’t have been surprised to see Jax lift leg and pee on her. She’d have to spend some time thinking about how she felt about being owned in that manner. Olivia had felt secure in her relationship, and had known her man had her back. She’d loved Drifter, and Drifter loved her more than anything in the world. They were beautiful together. 

“I sent the prospect out to Lodi to get a new tire for you. The one you had on was shredded. You shouldn’t have driven in on it if you wanted to save it.” 

Sophie scowled. Jax laughed. 

“You’re cute when you’re all irritated.” 

“Shut up.” 

“Look,” Jax said. “I’ll have it fixed up as soon as he’s back with the tire. Go wait in the office with Gemma.” 

She wanted to snap a sarcastic “yes, sir”, but she didn’t want to give him the mistaken impression that he could give her orders, or that she’d always follow them. Without a better option, she nodded her head. 

“Come on.” 

He once again rested his hand low on her back as he walked her over to the office. Part of her couldn’t help but wonder if it was a ploy to keep her from wandering into places she shouldn’t, or if he really just wanted to keep his hands on her. It might even be a bit of both. 

“Sack’s not back with the tire yet, so Sophie’s gonna wait in here until her car’s ready,” Jax said as he escorted her into the office. 

Gemma looked up from the pile of paperwork on her desk, glanced down to where Jax’s hand rested on the small of Sophie’s back, and raised an eyebrow. 

“Sure thing, baby,” Gemma answered, voice a bit gentle. “Give us girls a chance to get to know each other.” 

Jax’s arm slid from her body as he pointed a finger at his mother. “Be nice.” 

Gemma offered him a mock innocent smile before turning back to her paperwork. 

“I’ll come get you when it’s ready.” 

Sophie just nodded her head as Jax left the office, the door closing behind him with an audible click. Glancing over her shoulder, she found Gemma’s eyes already on her. Walking over to one of the chairs in front of the desk, Sophie took a seat. 

“Nice to see you again.” 

“You looked mighty comfortable in that squad car.” 

“No handcuffs.” Sophie held her arms out and shook her wrists a bit. “It’s why Unser had me in the front seat.” 

Gemma raised an eyebrow.

“But, I won’t pretend I don’t know what you’re asking. I’ve been in the backseat more than I’ve been in the front. Unser claimed he needed to talk to Clay, so he offered me a ride here. The good Sheriff really just wanted time away from the station to ask me a whole bunch of personal questions. The type of questions I figure you’ve got waiting on the tip of your tongue.” 

“You’re very direct.” 

Sophie shrugged. “Sometimes.”

“Jax seems to like you.”

“You noticed that too?” Sophie crossed her legs. “If he were a dog, he’d’ve peed on me by now.” 

That startled a laugh from Gemma. Sophie grinned. 

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen my son take to a woman like that.”

It was Sophie’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “A man who looks like your son in a town this size with that kutte on his back has probably taken to every woman in at least three counties. Nothing special about that.” 

Gemma lit a cigarette and held the pack out to her. Sophie took one and let Gemma light it for her. She dragged a lung full of nicotine into her lungs before slowly expelling the smoke through her lips.  

“Look, Jax has been nice to me. Gave me a ride to work this morning, said he’d get my car fixed. Even though it’s still sitting up on the jack,” Sophie paused. “But, I’m sure the car still being up there has more to do with Tig’s new love affair with it and so long as he cleans up after himself, I hope he enjoys himself.” 

“And none of that bothers you?”

Sophie chuckled. “Nah. Tig’s not the first, maybe not even the worst, sexual deviant I’ve been around. I’m sure a team of psychologists could make their careers working with someone like him, and then likely end up admitting themselves to the ward before it was done. Just makes life interesting. I do hate being bored.” 

“That why you came to Charming? Boredom?” 

She wanted to laugh at the derisive tone Gemma used. The woman was intimidating, and she knew the power she held in the town. A power she leaned into and owned.  

“Everyone’s so interested in why I came here.”

“You’re an interesting person.” 

“Only because your son has a thing for me, and you’re not sure if you’re going to allow that or not.” 

“My son’s a grown man. He makes his own decisions.” 

Sophie took another drag from her cigarette. “‘Course he is, but you’re close, and what you say means something to him. I respect that. But, I’m not going to sit here and tell you my deepest, darkest secrets just because you ask.”

Standing, Sophie bent across the desk and snubbed out the remnants of her cigarette. Meeting Gemma’s gaze, she said. “I will tell you this, I didn’t come here for the Sons.”

Part 4

Master List

#jax teller #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fanfic #sons of anarchy fanfiction #jax teller x oc #jax x oc

[sand-lily]

I JUST GOT MY CoE!!!

(like just now now)

they still didn't tell me when my training date is, where my hotel is, when i can check in to the hotel, or APPARENTLY how long I'll be staying

(my contract says 1 year, but the CoE says 3years,, so idk what to put on the application , if they dont answer by Friday I'll just put 3years, then i wont get in trouble if i do renew the contract but it wont be an issue if i only stay 1 year)

im NOT buying another hotel if i can help it, SO i do wanna know when i can check into the training hotel so i can buy my plane ticket for that day and put that as the arrival date on the application, according to maps and reddit the shinkansen is only a few hours to the city i need to be in from the airport, so im taking that instead of doing a layover in japan,,

so i need to know WHEN i can check in so i can do the math to know WHAT flight to take, and since im technically losing a day across time zones, thats going to be hard for me since normal time math is ALREADY hard for me

i already have the passport photos, i already have the envelopes, i already made the shipping labels (just gotta print them), i already signed the disclaimer (gotta print), I already filled out the application minus those 2 things im not sure about (and gotta print),,

so my plan is to go to the library and print all the stuff at once, and sign it at the library, then go from there to the post office to drop it off, and then from there back home (shit has to be planned when you don't have a car and public transit only comes once every 2hrs)

the CoE is valid for 3 months from tonight, so im HOPING they want me there the last week of june or mid july so i can pack up my apartment, call my bank, get an esim card for my phone company (this is the only phone number I had my WHOLE LIFE and I don't wanna lose it so i MIGHT pay for international data to keep it), take care of my pets, break my lease unfortunately, get a transit card (apparently you can buy them online BEFORE going to Japan and have it shipped to you),

and quit my new job i JUST started last week unfortunately,, ive only done training so i dont even think i can put it on my resume, HOWEVER, i did pass CPR + baby CPR so i can put that on my resume if they have the certificate on file (idk if they filed it yet)...but if i have another month, I'll be able to have childcare IN A SCHOOL experience (asst teaching)

ig i WONT be able to save up to pay off my credit card, or get my hair braided, and i WONT be able to afford business class like i wanted,, i just hope i get a window seat, i WILL NOT sit in the middle if i can avoid it, i also dont want an isle seat just in case i sit next to somebody who doesn't speak English and they feel nervous about asking me to move so they can use the toilet... i really dont wanna talk to ppl like that

i also also need to look for headphones with a type c connector, because i heard those exist,, my Bluetooth headphones dont work very well on airplanes and i MISS wired headphones severely (i WILL NOT take them out of the box until im at the airport tho, i WILL NOT risk losing them before the flight, as i tend to do)

i also also also need to go through my music library and delete the songs i always skip and add in the new ones ive been playing on repeat via YouTube, im NOT paying for plane wifi , i also x3 need to figure out how to download Libby books like PDFs since i cant use libby outside of America and i want to keep reading books on the flight

ig im un-makeovering my apt tomorrow, time to put doors back on hinges and remove contact paper and fill in nail holes and everything,, it took me like 3days to do everything up and i did it with a butter knife instead of a screwdriver, so it should take less time to undo it with my new electric screwdriver ,, i think my sister is going to try and steal my bedframe, shes already laid dibs on the couch

they BETTER NOT charge me ANY fees considering i paid a TRIPLE deposit to move in here without a cosigner and thats the whole point of a deposit

anyways i got a lot to do tomorrow, so i gotta go to bed at a REASONABLE HOUR, NOT 2AM

and if anybody wants to help me pay off my $1400 credit card bill (ive been using it to pay rent and buy groceries since nobody wants to hire me, unemployment is only enough to pay the minimum + my phone bill so i dont get late fees)

here are my PayPal and cashapp,, im not good at art AT ALL, but if yall want commissions for something so that i can earn the money (i can only do traditional art), I'll do that too,, or i can proofread something? creative writing is actually my forte believe it or not

anyways

cashapp: https://cash.app/$firellily

(the pfp is a pic of my cat)

[razzamult]

First Post, and hard lessons.

It's been a long time since I've blogged, I used to have an account with blogger.com (remember that?) back in the early 2000's So trying this out again is interesting, seeing what's different, what's similar.

I wanted to start this blog to record some personal thoughts that I've had over the last few years, so there will be some serious posts, including this one, but I do want to lighten things up inbetween.

I feel like I've written and re-written this a dozen times in my head, but it's time to commit and write something down. for those of you who know me, I want to tell a story and maybe you've heard some bits of it already, for any others who happen along? it's a story of anxiety, depression, burnout, a new path maybe? mostly i write this for my own benefit, to remind myself of where I've been & where I'd like to go, and where i don't want to go back to.

But first, some context. I've been working (full time) in IT for….16 years? I think? (give or take), and I'll be honest - I've had enough, and i want out of IT. I remember a time when computers were "simple" beasts (relatively speaking), the earliest memories of using a computer was my mum's 386 (it was a while ago ok!), she was studying a degree, but we had a number of DOS games installed on it (lots of apogee shareware), over time that computer got upgraded, new CPU, more ram, bigger hard drive, Windows 95! that was new & exciting! I remember somewhere along the way mum teaching me enough dos commands that when we bought a new game I could install it without needing help, she just gave me the discs and sent me on my way.

It was in year 10 in high school that i started scrounging enough parts to start making my own computer (or computers as it would become), my first pc being a 386 and the first thing I did was run games on it & dad had a laugh, it was slow, but it was mine! I worked out how to do all the upgrades myself, and over time ended up moving through windows 3.x, 95, 98. by the time i got to windows 2000 i had a 2nd hand IBM desktop, and I was looking after our home network, i think we'd moved from dial-up to ADSL around that time too.

After high school i got into the local TAFE (college for trade certificates), and got a Cert III in IT

I remember not liking XP when it came out (oh god, what is that default theme?! those colours?!), but I built an amd athlon64 system to run it on, all new parts & it was the fastest thing ever! (well, ok, maybe not ever…but it was mine! and it way faster than anything i had previously) i spent days playing warcraft III on that machine, learning how to compile software, playing with virtual machines, and it around this time i landed a job doing helpdesk at the local university.

Helpdesk work was interesting, but it's pretty soul crushing at times, you learn there are people out there who have no idea how to do the equivalent of "fill the tank with gas & check tire pressure", the uni had debated about having a basic computer literacy course for both staff & students, but it never got off the ground. But i pushed through, worked hard, and got recognized as being a good person to talk to in person or on the phone, often out-performing many peers on the helpdesk. We had people on the helpdesk escalating tickets to me, because i was good at working out the "curly" ones.

at some point I got offered a temporary transfer into server admin for 6 months, they'd seen me do good troubleshooting before sending stuff over to them, and they wanted to give me a chance. That ended up turning into fulltime work, that lasted 10 years. I learned a lot in that time, deploying and managing servers, "hearding cats" to get people to agree when an old application can be turned off or upgraded, working on projects. i'm not going to fill this up with IT acronyms but i did get sent on a lot of microsoft & other vendor training and for a number of mission-critical things became first point of contact. I got to experience oncall (and get paid extra for it), and almost single-handedly dragged the windows server fleet up to modern standards.

But in 2022 i couldn't do it anymore. I'd watched over the past years since microsoft fired it's QA staff in 2014, patches got worse, microsoft's promises of improvement got more frequent, and my team (or me specifically) was often stuck between "deploy patch to fix vulnerability or don't deploy patch since it's broken and will break things we depend on", a position that no IT department should find themselves in, having to choose between security and uptime. I'd worked on projects that were so badly run that I'd experienced depression (and some of the places your mind can take you), and while i never acted on the the thoughts during such times, it was not a place that, mentally, i wanted to return to. I'd seen people in other teams at the uni stonewall projects…for what??? no repercussions, one of them even got a promotion. not to mention that in 2021 our IT director/executive staff decided to overrule state government and tell everyone they had to be back in the office (that went down about as well as you'd expect)

2022 was a bad year, we had multiple bad patches we couldn't install on some of our servers until revisions came out, I had a staff member in another team who refused (again…after 4 years…and raising it with my supervisor) to complete work they'd promised, we had a huuuuge amount of work coming down the pipe, and no extra staff, and at some point in july i just broke down over it all. I could not do it any more. I could not push through. my reserves were empty. I had no more to give. things had gotten too hard, things were too complex, I wasn't running a cute 486 playing an apogee game. I was looking after hundreds of servers and multiple cloud environments. these weren't the basic applications that we knew & hated when i arrived, these things were using complex databases and machine learning, and I was expected to understand it all enough to support it. Sure i was part of a team, but people go on leave, I get the on-call phone, I filled in for my manager on occasion, you have to know enough to be able to diagnose and fix things, and it's so. much. now. Things have moved so fast over the last 10 years, and the reward for being able to tread water, for being able to keep up? not more people to help out, but more work, more new technology to learn, in addition to the old technology. It was suffocating, it wasn't sustainable.

And i was dumb enough to think that changing employers would be sufficient. I moved state, found a new job, it paid more, only to find out that the work was worse. the internal documentation was incomplete and the team didn't want to answer questions. clients running systems that were 20 years old (and not supported)….and were planning an upgrade to a system that was 15 years old….and would still not be supported. And all that anxiety? It came back! with friends!

I found a 2nd job, working in IT / healthcare and it was terrifying. we have laws about how medical data is to be stored & handled and my manager told me "there's no laws about this", turns out he was also a sexist & a bigot too. That was a job that didn't see a need to have compliant IT and guess who's getting blamed when shit hits the fan??….well not me….not anymore. The only reason I was able to stay there as long as I did was that I was working part time for most of it.

I spoke to a number of people in IT over the last 2 years and the common theme is that they're all burned out, they've all been screwed by the pace of change or inability to enact required changes. And maybe that pace has been dictated by management not because anyone needed new things, but simply due to those things being new and shiny, or due to complacency. Maybe in other cases it was driven by consumer demand / consumption, maybe as a society we're destroying good IT staff for our own amusement so we can have the goods & services we want when we want them, on our schedule….I don't think I'm qualified to answer that.

But for all that IT has burned me, there are things about it I miss. I miss those times when computing was simpler, when it was easier to understand, when it was just a hobby. I miss being able to comprehend how things worked, rather than feeling like I was part of some cargo cult. I miss when IT was just a hobby and didn't have to understand laws for businesses around it and ensure compliance. I miss when IT was fun.

whoever said that making your hobby a job would make you happy and "you'd never work a day in your life" was lying. whoever said "just push through" never experienced anxiety / depression / burnout (or at least not in the way I did)

If i had piece of advice? If I can leave a message for myself to look back on? Know your limits, you're only human, don't try and push yourself beyond them & hit the wall. Know where that wall is & that it's ok to tap out if need to & you have the means. It's a lesson I had to learn over the last 2 years.

So what does the future hold? I want to go back to IT as a hobby, I can't see myself doing this as a career anymore. and in 2024 I'm going to study for a Library & Information Services Certificate, it'll be a change of pace / direction & should be a good career change.

If you made it this far, thankyou for reading, it's a serious first post i know. But it's been roiling around my head for a while. I should have some more light hearted things to post later

#first post #burnout #I don't know what tags are for other than making jokes

[manuedws]

Too late to apologize - part 3

Too late to apologize - part 3

part 2 here

She still had a lot to do before she got back on the road : She had to erase the evidences on her own phone,  and have the two morons who were leering at her evilly do her a little favor. She shot them a quick glance with a small smirk, then focused on her phone again. 

She took a deep breath then made a backup of her messaging application, and sent this backup to the drive of a secondary gmail account, an account that she deleted from her phone once the upload was done.

Another glance in direction to the two guys to make them wait a little more. 

She went up in the conversation with Lily and erased the moments when it was question of the blood bond which united them.   Then she clicked on HIS name, and their last messages  showed up : 

- "You must get out immediately, a fire has broken out. - Jake ?  - Please tell me everything's ok - I'm coming to get you."

Then she wrote a last sentence   :

- "Contact on avali's forum"

She was feeling so much pain, it was torture not to know if he was alive, if he was out of the mine …. She knew he would surely not forgive her,  but she was ready to do anything to keep him alive.   

- "Mc  - I love you  - I love you too Jake"

She selected all the lines and as she clicked on the  'delete' button, a tear ran down her cheek. It was a piece of her heart that disappeared with those words.

With trembling hands, she scrolled the conversation up and erased all traces of their feelings for each other until nothing was left …

- "I'm sorry" ,she said in a whisper.

It took her some minutes to catch back control. "The show must go on", she thought.

She quiclky took a look at the two guys while she sipped the rest of her coffee, and stirred her empty paper cup, knowing It was only a matter of time before the two of  them came to her. She focused again on her phone , and logged to the dark forum and wrote a quick message,  which she left in the drafts :

- "On my way to Duskwood, I'm going to clear the exit of the mines, hold on" 

'Out of coffee?', Said the dark-haired guy, with a fake smile, handing her a cup, while sitting in front of her.

She took the coffee,  looking at him right into his eyes, which seemed to unsettle him. He continued : 

- "You looked completely desperate when you came in earlier, and I  am not one to give up on a pretty girl in need "

The other guy also comes and sits at the table but stands back, it seemed like they had agreed on who was going to try to hit on her.  She replied with a few words,  encouraging him to continue the conversation. The tall guy was talking about his car, his job, his second home With a view of the beach … blah blah blah . In accordance with what she had heard previously, the two men were heading towards the sea, in the opposite direction to her destination.  At first glance, she had already found him unpleasant and uninteresting, but  at the sight of the wedding ring on his finger, and hearing his stupid spiel, she classified him in the category of big assholes.

It was very difficult for her to seem interested, especially since she had to unpack the disposable phone and send the FBI on the wrong track. 

The phone was half charged, which seemed to be more than enough, so she put it on silent and entered a random lock code. She didn't need to remember it, it was just extra security in case the phone was found more quickly than expected.

Then she wrote a simple text message to her personal phone number  : 

 "I'm fine, I would have liked to meet you in Duskwood, but it's too crowded ;) so i had to leave. I will contact you soon. Jake :)"

  then she scheduled the message to be sent  in an hour. 

The phone was old, but she didn't need a smartphone. She didn't plan to use the messaging app they had been using to communicate. She wanted to send a simple text message, a text message that will not pass through the internet network, but mobile network , and which could be easily and quickly traced. Satisfied, she slipped that old phone in the back pocket of her jeans.

She apologized to the two men : she was awaited, and had to leave. Disappointed at first , the tall brunette reiterated the  invitation to join them for a few days of heavenly vacation, to which she replied that she would think about it. 

-"show me your car" , she asked him suddenly, while giggling.

The guy wouldn't have missed this opportunity for anything in the world and as  the three of them headed towards his car, he thought he had won the game.

She pretended to be impressed,  asked to sit in, and while she was faking enjoying the leather under her fingers, she slipped discreetly the phone between the backrest and the seat.

Finally, after giving the guy a fake phone number, she got back to her own car, relieved, "Bon voyage" She sneered, when she saw the two guys were already leaving the highway station.

MC made the rest of the journey without stopping and  décided to immediately go to  the waterfalls as soon as she reached Duskwood.She was strangely calm.

There were many vehicles, including police and emergency vehicles parked on the side of the road.  She parks her own car slightly back, and took a look at her phone : 

There was one text message, which she immediately transferred to a number not saved on her mobile, but which she knew by heart. She put on her big black jacket and pulled the zip up to her chin before taking the narrow path leading to the waterfall.

It was 11 p.m, it was completely dark and she was progressing with a firm and determined step  by the light of her flashlight and guided by the sound of  voices she was hearing in the distance. She felt like she had been walking for hours, her pulse racing, the lump in her stomach felt like she was gasping for air. Finally she emerged at the edge of a large clearing, in which reigned a great commotion. 

She had been walking in the dark for several minutes, so her eyes had a little trouble adjusting to the brightness of the numérous spotlights that illuminated every millimeter of the area.

 In addition to firefighters, there were also heavily armed military personnel, dog handlers, local police and of course the FBI. Everyone was recognizable by their outfit. Near the waterfall, she saw a man in his forties whom she immediately identified without having ever seen him before as Alan  Bloomgate. 

Further to the right, men were busy around something. She blinked several times before she could identify the form. With horror, she réalised It was a large black bag. 

Everything was jostling in her head, she had to see, she had to be sure it wasn't him, lying in that bag.  She started running across the clearing without hearing the injunctions to stop, or  Alan yelling at the soldiers to lower their weapons. His two powerful arms intercepted her  and prevented her from going any further to approach the body. She struggled, trying to continue on her way to the corpse, but the cop was holding her tight and was way much stronger than her. He yelled at her that she needed to calm down, and that it wasn't her friend in the bag. Somehow, he recognized her as soon as he saw her. 

When he had managed to get her attention, he explained that it was a firefighter who had gotten into the cave to try to limit the fire, but he had been surrounded by flames. His colleagues had succeeded in getting him out of the mine,  but unfortunately it was too late. The man died a few minutes later.  Richie had been discovered unconscious at the entrance of the cave, he had been taken to the hospital immediately, his vital prognosis was not engaged. He added that no one else seemed to have been in the mine. 

She was nervously rubbing her feet, digging furrows in the ground. Looking at her, he found her pretty, her face was soft, her curves feminine, and despite the obvious state of confusion in which she was, he could see in her her strength and her determination. He was waiting for the right moment to ask her to confirm what he had deduced from the behavior of the young woman : There was someone else of mine, Someone who mattered to her.

- "Why the fuck are you here ?"

sounded a loud voice behind them. She turned back to face a man with a closed face, dressed in a formal black suit, and shrugged at his sight.

- " Do you already know Mc ?"

Alan asked , obviously very annoyed. The FBI was starting to get on his nerves. After all, he hadn't called them, and it was bad enough that they showed up and took over, embarking on an all-out manhunt. Almost all of the city's workforce had been requisitioned to pursue a fugitive of whom he knew nothing. 

And now... Looks like they've already interviewed the main witness in Hannah Donfort's case. 

- "MC ? You have already become so close? "

Laughed the fed,  and then turning to Alan, he said to him :

- “So it is  useless for me to introduce you to our probie :  Special Agent MARTINS, from the  Cybercrime Office”

part 4

#duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood game

[mayalaen]

tired of spam & other stuff

I’ve had my current phone number for 3 years. The man who had it before was a registered Repu/blican and he STILL uses it to sign up for shit like credit cards and loans. People STILL call him. His wife buys groceries on the other side of the valley, and it shows up as MY purchases on my Fry’s card. I can see the last four digits of her EBT card.

I’ve had my watch phone number for 6 years. The woman who had it before was a registered Demo/crat and she STILL uses it for her airbnb, job applications, and to sign up for shit.

I get no less than 20 texts a day on the phone and watch because of them, and creditors are constantly calling for the guy while student loan places call the woman. I keep getting photos of kids from one of the woman’s friends, which are REALLY creepy. I’ve also gotten offers on the dude’s condo.

I know their first and last names, their places of residence, their ages, and some of their email addresses, but not the ones associated with the things they sign up for, so I can’t break into their accounts and close them out. I even know what line of work they’re in -- one is a lawyer and the other is a nurse.

It’s impossible to remove a phone number from the registered voter database.

My mom said I should change my numbers, but what if the new numbers are even worse? And my phone number is tied to all the stuff for the tattoo shop and the tattoo supply shop.

I realize anyone with a phone number is going to get cold calls/texts from spammy companies, but this is ridiculous, and these people just keep signing up for more stuff!

#about me #real life #this is me complaining

[trshltna-blog]

How Malaysians coped under the pandemic- and public health 😷

P/S : I'm typing this out from my point of view as I experienced the pandemic as an 18 year old who just graduated from high school so basically I was not studying that time, and would play PUBG with friends I barely talk to now until 3a.m. Hopefully I'll still be as insightful.

When Covid-19 hit drastically in Malaysia in 2020, the whole nation went under lockdown which meant people couldn't physically interact with other people who didn't live under the same roof. From here, you can clearly tell how social media fits in this week's post. Call me an optimist but I'm glad to have gone through such a time with social media existing, in the 2nd decade of the 21st Century. I clearly remember a week turning into 3 weeks, to a month, to just 3 whole months of lockdown with no simple way out.

Over the past 2 years, social media has helped a lot in spreading information about the virus which clearly effected the public health. Alongside that, the pandemic effected other concerns too which included people losing their jobs, economic crisis, people's mental health and also the lack of food for households. With social media, it felt as if we weren't totally alone, although most days felt really draining and undetermined.

Alas in good light, those with access to social media were entertained by applications such as Tiktok, which blew up a lot during the pandemic because of its constant mindless scrolls of videos. I mean, it's not like we could do anything else anyway. There was the Dalgona Coffee trend, a lot of Megan Thee Stallion dances made and the 'I'm bored in the house yeah I'm in the house bored', if you know, you know, I guess!

Okay, I'm steering away a bit, back to public health!

I always say social media is helpful and I see the positive side of it mainly because my insights were all these infographics regarding Covid-19. Day after day they were go viral and with the ever ending use of Instagram, Whatsapp, Twitter and Facebook, people were easily aware about these important details.

For example, this infographic above guides individuals on how to use a face mask, because I do recall some people that weren't sure which type to buy, how to wear it and even shared their face masks with people. That was honestly so dangerous so I'm glad they came up these things to spread awareness.

I hope many Malaysians (who see this, lol) remember this image above! Because every single day family group chats would be updated with this on the Covid-19 cases and also all over other social media applications. It was so scary when the numbers kept increasing for positive cases, but we were always hopeful for more recoveries in the days coming.

There was also this application made for only Malaysians called MySejahtera which was quite successful in my opinion. Before this app was created, individuals who went out had to write down their names, phone number and their body temperature before entering a shopping mall, store, restaurant, or anywhere enclosed to be precise. Unfortunately, there was a plothole to this method as people could get away with writing down and also lie about their credentials. This is where the app comes in.

By August of 2021, most people had already gotten their 2 doses of vaccines. With that, all enclosed areas would restrict those with only 2 full doses to enter. A friend of mine who was interning in Kuala Lumpur that time couldn't even enter Pavillion mall because she had only 1 dose. This was all automatically uploaded and kept in each Malaysian citizen's MySejahtera. In order to enter, all you needed to do was scan the QR Code provided.

Social Media also enabled for this infographic above to be shared around many Malaysians before getting their vaccine. Even though there wasn't much choice since Malaysia had only fully provided Pfizer for the elderly, AZ and Sinovac for the rest, it was still good to be notified about the other vaccines existing.

I always love a clean, simple yet informed infographic and the image above did just that. It kept to its main point and conducted it well for people to read and dissect the message. That is, the message above is to spread awareness on places that one may highly likely get the virus.

The World Health Organisation (WHO) Malaysia created several infographics and guides for those who seek help during hard times like the pandemic. I'm not going to go in detail but if you check out their site https://www.who.int/malaysia/emergencies/covid-19-in-malaysia/information/mental-health, you can see that WHO provided for those who have lost their loved once, for the frontliners and even those who were struggling with their mental health.

I wasn't enrolled in Swinburne that time but they had also done a Swinburne's Mental Health awareness week, which is good as a university in Sarawak to promote such importance to students. Checklists and Bingos were a way to engage with a lot of people online so it was quite popular at that time. Here, I scrolled all the way down to @/swinburnesarwak's 2020 posts to find this.

All and all, it's good to know how Malaysians all over used social media to their fullest in maintaining a safe environment for most during the pandemic. Sharing these correct infographics, articles regarding the virus may seem small but here's the beauty of social media : nothing is ever as small when it's already out there.

#week7 #mda20009 #publichealth

[modestoddest-blog]

Working Holiday Visa

It’s taken about 15 days and pending. 

1. Submitted Visa application, https://www.immigration.govt.nz/new-zealand-visas (445 NZD = 394.27 SGD)

2. Waited for the reply as following: University Cert, X ray Cert. 

3. Went ahead with X ray Certification by a panel radiologist assigned by NZ (Paragon, 69.55 SGD)

4. Awaiting the reply from my case officer and [email protected] (They do not reply, Submit your university certification. Paragon RADLINK Radio will help you submit it to New Zealand directly)

5. Managed Banks, Credit Cards and Cleared loans! (Cancel before before leaving, good to have a youtrip card too! Later you will settle the IRD / Tax, Bank account for Jobs)

6. Purchase a sim card prior trip so there’s still connection with Ruthie (AUS) and Jason (NZ)

7. Sorted out accommodation upon arrival. 

8. Australia Visa, Traveller declaration for NZ

9. Insurance - Annual done with FWD via shop back -90$ + MBA! ($256.65 SGD)

10. Phone number, Home, Work, Bank. Travel Itinerary. 27 Sep 2022.

11. get a hop card prior to arriving nz (Online, Cheaper!) and sim travel

12. $10 for a simple number with 2degree

13. Visa, Passport, Driver license, Home bank statement / proof of address  for appointment with bank - This requires applying online with number and calling anz to book appointment (Usually 1 - 2 weeks) 

14. Apply for IRD after Bank gives you a IRD number to register for (must do this as priority it takes almost 1.5 weeks now ( as at 10oct) 

15. Accomms - Trademe, Facebook (Weekly rent, Northshore if you have a car, till jan 2023 all transportations are 50% but buses do cancel and esp try not to do bus at night alone) Northshore = better scenery must be home early, CBD = Grafton, Mount Eden, Grey Lynn etc easy transport

16. Car - Trademe ( Good old Suzuki and Toyota, Suzuki’s got a pretty cute van, If you road trip a lot might be good to buy a larger convertible one like Rafa’s)

17. Connected in cg! Sunday and CG (Every fortnight tues at ami home) 

18. BJJ gym (Weekly 45$) Work in exchange

19. Work interviews with agencies / recruitment drives 

20. Bank - Apply online then wait for appointment. Get card, get pay now transfer account and bring cash to have a transaction and get Bank statement printed for IRD at the counter.  Tips: go to smaller branches for faster appointment and call into ANZ hotline (Rotorua / Taupo); pray for favour with all things in nz.

21. IRD - Step 1: Get a IRD number first  https://myir.ird.govt.nz/tools/_/

at, Enter your New Zealand bank account number - key in everything on Bank statement from point 20. Take a photo of Bank statement immediately! You’ll need to upload that in the portal. 

Step 2: Wait to Register IRD with your new IRD number (Remember to check for IRD tax too before leaving

I use google chrome cos I had troubles with safari and IRD site (13 Oct) 

22. https://whatsmyworth.co.nz/salary-survey/?func=5&loc=0

23. After IRD, address and mobile. you’re pretty much set.  - after settling for 4 months -  24. Find accommodations thru CANZ, Facebook or words of mouth. No harm being friendly, everyone loves to talk here. 

25. Travel now and then, when not working. It is okay to ask for offs, or to pace work. Don’t bring Singapore culture here. Start like a baby. 

26. But wise as a serpent, and realise what people are doing. draw boundaries or laugh about it so they realise you know too, you’re wise too. Pray for NZ. 

27. Great country very blessed! 

  For now.. To be updated, this is my way of working around it but be creative with it

To find out more, follow me on @modestoddest (Instagram) 

Notes: 

-heater in shower, in bed room/ mattress 

-many ways around “expensive” nz -hangers

If these help you, tag me on insta! @modestoddest :) 

#workholiday newzealand #singapore #newzealand #singaporean #photographer #nature #travel #adventure

[keneestorytimelibrary]

Rockey Chapter 3

          I never knew how hard it was to find another job. I mean, it's easy to fill out the applications, and send out resumes, but it was another to find one that worked with my schedule. I worked one job Monday through Friday, 8am to 5pm, and I worked my other job 12pm to 6pm on Saturday and Sunday. I barely had enough money to survive with two, and I needed to find something that would fit my schedule. I couldn’t afford to sleep, let alone relax. The only thing that I found so far was more waitressing jobs, and I won't lie, I am done with waitressing. 

          It's been two weeks since I last spoke with Danny, and he hasn't stopped trying to reach me. I had to change my phone, and number, and put all of my social media accounts on private. It was quite annoying to be honest, not to mention, expensive. 

          Danny even began bothering Caden at work, though he made sure to keep his distance from him at times. Veronica had been clinging onto Danny, and has been posting shady shit on her Facebook account with the both of them. Since they've been caught, Danny tries his hardest to stay away from her, but it’s only made her more persistent. 

          I haven't been ok since the fight; I've been just going with the everyday flow. I've been distracting myself as best as I could, trying my hardest to shake this crushing feeling away. I still managed to work my other jobs, though it proves to be difficult. I've either slept on my desk at the office, or shown up a half hour late to my cleaning job. It's been bugging me, because I have strong work ethics; I never work like this. 

          At the moment, I was using Caden's laptop, searching through Craigslist. I've been staying over at Caden's place, sleeping on the couch. I've been trying to find a place of my own, but I can only focus on one hard task at a time. 

          Caden was out working at the moment, and I was with his roommate Tony. Tony usually kept to himself when there was company over; he was the complete opposite of Caden in regards to personality. But he was being helpful, and decided to assist me. We both spent this Friday evening diligently searching over whatever job posting we can get our hands on online. 

          "Rockey, what about substitute teaching?" Tony asked as he poured himself another cup of coffee. He just came back from working overnight, and didn't get a chance to sleep. "If memory serves me correctly, didn't you complete your Associate's Degree?" 

          I began to think. 'I did complete my Associate's  Degree...but for Psychology. What the fuck am I going to do with an Associate's Degree in Psychology!?' I began to bang my head softly against the narrow kitchen counter. "I swear I am going to become a PIMP AND MAKE SOME REAL MONEY!" I exclaimed. 

          Tony began to laugh at my resolve, but a large part of me was not lying. I wonder how much they really make…?

          "But seriously Jaz, you can become a substitute teacher. Or a private tutor or something?" Tony added, using my real name Jazmin. He walked by me and showed me a listing for a private tutor on his phone. There were a few listings for nearby schools and wealthy families that needed help. My doubts began to bubble forward at the sight of it.

          I picked one randomly, and read the description. "Live in Nanny Needed: Family in search of a private tutor/nanny to help three young kids. Would need total understanding of elementary school subjects, have college credits, and be available between the morning and late evening, Monday thru Friday. Wage would be determined based on education and experience. Would also need to take care of children outside of school hours. Only serious applicants apply!" 

          "Hmmm…" I said. It was interesting, but my doubts began to weigh heavy. The hours did not coincide with my availability, but there was a great chance that this would make up for the money lost. Becoming a private tutor for one child would be time consuming, imagine three?! The thoughts kept rushing through my head, and I started to get a headache.

          "You are overthinking it, aren't you?" Tony asked. I couldn't help but look at him with astonishment. 

          "Tony, how do you know what I am thinking?! I swear I must have it written on my forehead or something.” I said in amazement. 

          Tony handed me another cup of coffee, and sat next to me. "Jaz, it wouldn't hurt to check it out. And what is the worst they can say to you? No? And what if you end up getting the job? Imagine if you like it?!" He said, purring his last words. That last part made me laugh so hard that I cried. It's been a while since I laughed that hard; it felt good. 

          "Fine!" I said after a few minutes of laughing. "I'll send my resume over. But when I don't get an interview, I'm going to cry!" I said in a dramatic fashion. I pretended to cry, adding obnoxious sounds like a two year old. Tony was quick to shut me up.

          "Now with that out of the way, you NEED to do something about your hair and wardrobe! Girl, I cannot let you leave this apartment looking the way you do." He said as he grabbed my arm and rushed me to the bathroom. 

          Before I had a chance to protest, my hair was out of its messy bun, and let loose. He began to dig through the cabinets, taking out boxes of hair dye. After removing three boxes of an ash brown hair color, he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my head. "My love, get ready for an entirely new you!"

#kenee #short story #quick read #my writing #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #love story #enemies to lovers #life makeover #new chapter

[theanh-ieltspractice]

Questions 1 – 10

Complete the notes below.

Write ONE WORD AND/OR A NUMBER for each answer.

Bankside Recruitment Agency

●   Address of agency: 497 Eastside, Docklands

●   Name of agent: Becky [1] ……………..

●   Phone number: 07866 510333

●   Best to call her in the [2] ……………

Typical jobs

●   Clerical and admin roles, mainly in the finance industry

●   Must have good [3] ……………… skills

●   Jobs are usually for at least one [4] ………………..

●   Pay is usually [5] £…………….. per hour

Registration process

●   Wear a [6] ………………. to the interview

●   Must bring your [7]……………….. to the interview

●   They will ask questions about each applicant’s [8] ……………….

Advantages of using an agency

●   The [9] ………………. you receive at interview will benefit you

●   Will get access to vacancies which are not advertised

●   Less [10] ……………… is involved in applying for jobs

TRANSCRIPT:

AMBER:               Hello William. This is Amber – you said to phone if I wanted to get more information about the job agency you mentioned. Is now a good time?

WILLIAM:            Oh, hi Amber. Yes. Fine. So the agency I was talking about is called Bankside – they’re based in Docklands – I can tell you the address now – 497 Eastside.

AMBER:               OK, thanks. So is there anyone in particular I should speak to there?

WILLIAM:            The agent I always deal with is called Becky Jamieson.

AMBER:               Let me write that down – Becky …

WILLIAM:            Jamieson (Q1) J-A-M-I-E-S-O-N.

AMBER:               Do you have her direct line?

WILLIAM:            Yes, it’s in my contacts somewhere – right, here we are: 078 double 6, 510 triple 3. I wouldn’t call her until the afternoon (Q2) if I were you – she’s always really busy in the morning trying to fill last-minute vacancies. She’s really helpful and friendly so I’m sure it would be worth getting in touch with her for an informal chat.

AMBER:               It’s mainly clerical and admin jobs they deal with, isn’t it?

WILLIAM:            That’s right. I know you’re hoping to find a full-time job in the media eventually – but Becky mostly recruits temporary staff for the finance sector – which will look good on your CV – and generally pays better too.

AMBER:               Yeah – I’m just a bit worried because I don’t have much office experience.

WILLIAM:            I wouldn’t worry. They’ll probably start you as a receptionist, or something like that. So what’s important for that kind of job isn’t so much having business skills or knowing lots of different computer systems – it’s communication (Q3) that really matters – so you’d be fine there. And you’ll pick up office skills really quickly on the job. It’s not that complicated.

AMBER:               OK good. So how long do people generally need temporary staff for? It would be great if I could get something lasting at least a month.

WILLIAM:            That shouldn’t be too difficult. But you’re more likely to be offered something for a week (Q4) at first, which might get extended. It’s unusual to be sent somewhere for just a day or two.

AMBER:               Right, I’ve heard the pay isn’t too bad – better than working in a shop or a restaurant.

WILLIAM:            Oh yes – definitely. The hourly rate is about £10 (Q5), 11 if you’re lucky.

AMBER:               That’s pretty good. I was only expecting to get eight or nine pounds an hour.

————————————————

WILLIAM:            Do you want me to tell you anything about the registration process?

AMBER:               Yes, please. I know you have to have an interview.

WILLIAM:            The interview usually takes about an hour and you should arrange that about a week in advance.

AMBER:               I suppose I should dress smartly if it’s for office work – I can probably borrow a suit (Q6) from Mum.

WILLIAM:            Good idea. It’s better to look too smart than too casual.

AMBER:               Will I need to bring copies of my exam certificates or anything like that?

WILLIAM:            No – they don’t need to see those, I don’t think.

AMBER:               What about my passport? (Q7)

WILLIAM:            Oh yes – they will ask to see that.

AMBER:               OK.

WILLIAM:            I wouldn’t get stressed about the interview though. It’s just a chance for them to build a relationship with you – so they can try and match you to a job which you’ll like. So there are questions about personality (Q8) that they always ask candidates – fairly basic ones. And they probably won’t ask anything too difficult like what your plans are for the future.

AMBER:               Hope not.

WILLIAM:            Anyway, there are lots of benefits to using an agency – for example, the interview will be useful because they’ll give you feedback (Q9) on your performance so you can improve next time.

AMBER:               And they’ll have access to jobs which aren’t advertised.

WILLIAM:            Exactly – most temporary jobs aren’t advertised.

AMBER:               And I expect finding a temporary job this way takes a lot less time (Q10) – it’s much easier than ringing up individual companies.

WILLIAM:            Yes indeed. Well I think …

[jhdyuiee]

White Lies

༊*·˚ pairing: CEO!jaehyun x EX-gf!y/n ; ex’s to lovers

༊*·˚ warnings/tags: fluff, angst, pregnancy, second chances, kissing/making out, suggestive, drinking, cursing, possessive jaehyun, jaehyun & y/n have a child together, slow-burn

༊*·˚ wc: 19.5k +

༊*·˚ a.n: finally! after working on this for 2 months i’ve finished it :) ! i mainly blame school for this && suprisingly my own life as well… anyhow i hope you all enjoy this fic, it’s quite litterly my baby, my first born, per say? fun fact! i named this before NCT 127 song “White Lie” && felt like it was fate (?), so i kept the title, haha. thank you though && i wish you all a late, but a Happy New Year ! stay tuned for what’s next & what i have in store this year! stay safe, jiji out 🤍

If there were a moment in my life I regret, it’d be meeting him.

Jeong Jaehyun was his name. His name, once a melody to my ears, became something so unpleasant to hear.

‘Why?’ was all I could ask myself. It’d been well around 3 years since I left, since I’d broken up with him and 3 years later I’m still dealing with the hole he reptured in my heart. But slowly that hole has recovered it’s pieces; thanks to my baby boy, Chaemin. Before I broke up with him, I’d found out I was pregnant with his child- our child, but I never got the chance to tell him…

“Mommy.”

A little voice called out for me, pulling me out of my trance.

“Yes my baby.”

My sweet Chaemin looked right at me with those beautiful chocolate like-doe eyes.

“Siwoo asked if I could go over to his home tomorrow,” hesitation in his voice. “to play.”

“Of course you can! You know Chaemin, I always tell you you’re free to do whatever you want, I want nothing but happiness for you.”

His eyes smiled and his dimples popped out, how could he be so cute! He truly is my entire world, my universe. I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the doorbell ring. I walked to the door and opened it, noticing an unfamiliar figure. ‘Who is this stranger?’ Standing in front of my door was a tall figure, dressed in a suit. ‘What could he want with me?’

“Hello, are you Ms. Y/N Lee?” the man asked.

“Yes? Who’s asking?”

“Oh sorry about that, I’m Johnny, Johnny Suh and I work for J.corps.”

‘J.Corps? The cosmetics company I applied to?’

“We received your application and the CEO has reviewed it and asked if you’re available tomorrow at 10:00 a.m for an interview,” he explained.

‘Was this real? I’m not dreaming am I?’ After quitting my last job, I’d finally be able to work again.

“Oh my god, yea of course. I’ll be there.”

“Well then Ms. Lee we look forward to seeing you tomorrow,” he said as he bowed.

“Yes, thank you so much!” I bowed as well.

“Have a good day miss,” Johnny said, smiling before departing. I watched him as he walked to his car, giving me a wave.

“Wow- woah,” was all I let out as I closed the door, still utterly shocked.

✧˚ · .

Johnny entered his car, whipping out his phone from his suit pocket. He dialed a number, the person on the other line picking up on the third ring.

“You’re done? That quick?” The voice of a man on the other line. “How was it Johnny, was it really her?” The man kept pestering questions at Johnny.

“Well sir, if my eyes don’t deceive then yes sir, it was her.”

“You’re a dead man if it isn’t her. You know how long I’ve looked for her, trying to find her,” he said in a desperate voice.

“Yes, Jae I know.”

✧˚ · .

“Chaemin! Come out for dinner!” I brought the plates to the tables when I heard his little footsteps running.

“Come wash your hands first,” I told him when I noticed marker all over his little fingertips. I picked him up and headed to the kitchen sink when he washed and dried his hands.

“Mommy,” he asked, drying his hands.

“Yes, my baby, what is it?” I looked at him, putting him down.

“I made you a drawing.”

“Really!? Can you show me after we finish up our food,” I smiled at him. I placed him in his chair and sat in mine, enjoying another peaceful dinner, just the two of us.

“I’m done! Now can I show you my drawing mommy?” he asked.

“Of course, go fetch it.”

He didn’t need to asked twice, running as fast as possible to retrieve the drawing. I could hear his footsteps as he came running back. He stopped in front of me and handed me the drawing.

I froze.

“Chaemin, why are there three people?” I asked, I already knew who the third person was, but I still wanted to hear it from him.

“Ah him? That’s my daddy,” he said innocently.

I let out a soft chuckle, not taking my eyes off the drawing. “It’s a lovely drawing baby. I’m sure your daddy would’ve thought so as well.” He let out another smile, dimples appearing once again.

“Here, take it to your room, I’ll make sure to hang it up later,” I said as I handed the drawing back to him. He took it back, running back to his room. I watched as he left.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. It wasn’t like he didn’t know about his father. I never wanted him thinking he had no father or that his father had abandoned us. No, never. Instead, I told him a white lie.

“Your father is working overseas and can’t fly out every time to see us.”

Pathetic, right?

But I just wanted him to be happy, living in a world where he has two parents, not just one.

But I know that one day this white lie will have to end, the truth will be revealed.

✧˚ · .

After I’d finished cleaning up the table and dishes, I went to see Chaemin in his room.

“Ready for bed?” I asked, entering his room.

“Yes mommy,” he said, yawning.

I picked him up and headed towards the bathroom to give him a quick bath and then dressed him in his favorite dinosaur printed pj’s. He asked me to read him a bedtime story, in which I complied. He laid in bed as I read Peter Pan. By the time I finished reading and looked to see Chaemin, he was already peacefully sleeping. He looked so adorable. I pecked his nose and whispered “Goodnight my Chaemin-ie.”

I placed the book back where it belonged and headed out, making sure not to make the slightest noise.

I headed towards my room and grabbed my phone. I scrolled through it for a while, until I received a call. It was Soyoung.

Soyoung and I have known each other since elementary, we practically grew up together. She’s seen me at my lows and highs, sticking to me like a sticker. When she found out I was pregnant with his child she stuck by my side through the pregnancy. Honestly, what would I do without her?

“Hey Y/N!" Soyoung answered excitedly.

“Hey, what’s with all this energy?” I asked her, she couldn't possibly be drunk right now.

“Hehe, I just missed you,” she replied.

“It’s almost 11:00 p.m, yet you’re out here missing me?”

“Yes, how could I not, I’ve been stuck at the company all day. Anyways, how's my Chaemin-ie?” she asked.

“I just put him to sleep a while ago,” I told her.

“Awh, I wanted to talk to him,'' Soyoung said, with a hint of sadness in her voice.

“It’s too late for him to be up, besides he has a playdate tomorrow. Speaking of which, can you go with him?” I asked Soyoung.

“Huh? Yeah, sure I can, but where are you going tomorrow?” she questioned me.

“Ah, well remember the company I applied to, J Corps?”

“Yeah, the famous makeup company,” she replied.

“Well, earlier today a young man, I believe his name was Johnny, came to tell me to go to the interview tomorrow,” I explained.

“He came to your home?” Soyoung asked.

“Yeah.”

“Couldn’t they just send you a message, call you? Why’d he make his way all the way to your home to tell you something so simple?” Soyoung asked.

She had a point, I applied my information on the application, so they had access to that, so why’d he come in person to tell me something so trivial? “I don’t know, maybe they just function differently?” I just said, trying to shrug it off.

“Hmm, well then what time do you want me to pick him up?” she asked me.

“9:00, please. His playdate isn’t til 11 though, but I’ll probably still be stuck in the interview, I’ll be sure to send you the location too,” I informed her.

“Sounds good, I’ll stop by early tomorrow, get some rest, now Y/N,” she said.

“Good Night Soyoung” I wished her warmly.

Once our call had ended, I headed off, readying myself for bed. I hopped in the shower, dressed myself in my silk pajama gown, and did my skincare. It felt so peacefully, yet lonely. I tried not thinking too much, tucking myself off to bed.

Minutes passed by, my eyes were still awake. I couldn’t sleep. Was I thinking too much? Was I nervous for my interview tomorrow? Whatever it may be, it seems it’d keep me up for a while.

But as the wind blew and the night sky got darker I drifted off, finally dreaming away.

✧˚ · .

Ring. Ring. Ring.

My alarm kept ringing as it went off. I dreaded mornings and the bright sunlight that pierced through my bedroom curtains. I grabbed my phone that laid on the nightstand and checked the time, 7:00 a.m. Feeling a bit groggy, I got up from my bed and headed towards the bathroom. I showered to fully wake myself up and grabbed my best pair of professional clothes I could find. ‘First impressions count,’ I reminded myself.

I grabbed a pair of stockings to top it all off and thankfully these didn’t have a hole in them already. I proceeded to do my makeup, settling for something natural and my hair, giving it slight curls. I checked myself out in the mirror, patting my skirt, feeling satisfied with how I looked. Hoping this leaves a good impression on them.

8:15 a.m. It was now time to get Chaemin ready. I let him sleep a while longer, making sure he has enough energy for his playdate.

“Chaemin, baby time to get up” I said softly, stroking his hair.

“Mmm” he said.

“You gotta wake up love, we can’t have Siwoo waiting all alone” I said trying to convince him. He lifted himself up, being half-asleep and half-awake.

“What do you want to wear today?” I asked him, getting off his bed, going to his closest.

“Um, you can pick mommy,” he said looking at me.

I grabbed him a pair of jeans and a white shirt that had some drawings on it. I dressed him up, tied his shoes on, and carried him to the bathroom. I sat him on the bathroom counter. I ran the water, gently cleaning his face and slightly wetting his hair.

“Are you more up now baby,” I teased him. He looked at me and giggled. I then carried him again, making our way to the kitchen. I’d placed him on his chair.

“Stay here, while I prepare some breakfast,” I told him. He nodded his head.

I made us a simple breakfast, scrambled eggs, some waffles (Chaemin loves waffles), and a couple of sliced fruits. I brought out our breakfast and saw that Chaemin-in the midst of me making breakfast-had grabbed his tablet. That sly little boy.

“Breakfast is served,” I tell him, placing the plates down. He gives it a look and I swear this boy already has drool running down his mouth. “Don’t just look at it baby, dig in,” I tell him.

As we finished eating the doorbell rang. I got up looking through the peephole, seeing Soyoung waiting on the other end. I opened it and was quickly embraced into a hug.

“I’ve missed you!” she yelled, leaping into my arms.

“Me too,” I said but it was inaudible as my face was squished on her.

Footsteps of little feet could be heard. “AH! CHAEMIN!!!” Soyoung practically throws me aside now, “My sweet little child.”

“AUNTIE SOO!” Chamin yelled, running towards Soyoungs open arms. I watched as they warmly embraced one another.

“Chaemin, I can’t tell who you love more, me or auntie soo?”

He lets go and answers, “Obviously you mommy!”

“Come on Y/N, we haven’t seen each other in ages!”

“I know, but someone is just so busy being loving dovey with her soon-to-be,” I roll my eyes.

“Oh come on, I didn’t know Eunhyuck was gonna surprise me with a trip to Bali and then when I returned to a pile full of work!”

“Whatever, you can catch me up later. It's almost time for me to go, Chaemin’s things are already packed in his backpack upstairs in his room. Call me if you need anything or an emergency emerges. I’ll let you know when I’m out of there.”

“Got it ma’am.” My eyes rolled at the use of the word “ma’am.”

“I’ll try to be back as soon as possible.” I go over to Chaemin who sat at Soyoung’s lap. “Be a good boy while i’m gone, I love you. Mommy will be back soon,” I kiss his cheek.

“Yes mommy, Chaemin will make sure not to cause any trouble,” he smiled.

I pat his head and head to the door, they followed behind me. “Good luck!” They wished me. I gave Soyoung a parting hug and a last kiss to Chaemin which he gave me back in return.

Thus, I was off to whatever or whoever awaited me at J.Corps. Suddenly, feeling an eerily sensation running through me.

✧˚ · .

The ride to J.Corps was not long, a 15 minute commute.

One word though: Exquisite. The building was tall and quite wide. It ran from one end of the street to the other, and was made entirely of glass, yet maintained a modern look to it. In and out went people of all kinds, yet I felt like an outsider, out of place- out of touch?

‘Get a grip Y/N.’ I made my way inside and had my breath taken away. It just got a whole lot better on the inside, it feels as though I landed the jackpot. I can’t fuck this up.

“Hello, I’m here for an interview,” I asked the front desk receptionist. She looked young, mid 20’s? But yet so young, not to mention beautiful.

“Your name?” She asked kindly.

“Y/N Lee.”

She then dialed the telephone, “Hello, sir the applicant Y/N Lee is here, should I send her up now?” “Alright I’ll let her be on her way up,” she replied and hung up. “If you walk straight and take a right you’ll find the elevators, and head on up to level 14,” she explained. “And here take this pass so security can let you through,” she handed me a lanyard pass with the words “Applicant Y/N Lee” labeled across.

“Thank you,” I said to her and bowed.

I headed in the direction of the elevators, there was a hurdle of workers waiting.

Ding.

Luckily the elevators didn’t take long and I was on my way. I pressed the 14, which was the highest level this building had.

My nerves were settling in again. I felt sick to my stomach, fingers fidgeting.

Ding.

That was my stop. I stepped out and took a deep breath. Once I opened my eyes a familiar figure was in front of me. It was that man, Johnny.

“Hey there Y/N, glad to see you again,” he greeted me. I suddenly felt at ease.

“Are you the-” “No. no, no” he quickly shut me down.

“The big man is behind those doors,” he pointed toward the space surrounded by glass walls and doors. Though you couldn’t see who was inside.

“Shall we?” he asked, guiding the way. I nodded and we proceeded down the hall.

I looked to my left and right, observing everything bit by bit. I noticed a work space close, stopping in my tracks, “Is this where you work?” I asked Johnny.

“Ah yes, I'm more or less like his right hand man.” he smiled, seemingly proud.

We continued a bit further down, until we reached the doors. Before Johnny opened the doors I could’ve sworn he gave me a sympathetic look, but it must have been my imagination, I mean what could be awaiting me behind those doors is nothing, right? As he opened them we walked further inside.

“Sir, Y/N Lee is here,” Johnny notified the man standing looking outside the window.

The man was tall, well built, he didn’t look old, in fact he looked around my age. His hair was slightly slicked back. He felt almost nostalgic.

“Hello sir, I’m Y/N Lee it’s a pleasure to me-”

As he turned around, I didn’t need to see or be told who that man was, it was Jaehyun.

Jeong Jaehyun

The same man from 3 years ago.

What was Jeong Jaehyun doing here?

Why was Jeong Jaehyun here?

How was Jeong Jaehyun here?

“It’s nice seeing you again… Y/N” Jaehyun spoke, his voice so bittersweet.

Jaehyun’s POV

After the front receptionist called me up, I sent Johnny to wait by the elevators.

Nervous, wouldn’t be the right word to describe my feelings right now.

After 3 years, three, in which I spent looking for her, trying to find out her whereabouts, she was finally coming back.

That day, it still haunts me, it’s like I'm stuck there repeating those moments over and over again.

No matter how long it’s been she’s still mine, mine to love, adore, cherish, support, protect, and die for.

When I saw she applied for my company I couldn’t believe it. I thought it was a dream, or perhaps someone impersonating her, but no it was like I was given another chance, fate perhaps. I accepted it without hesitation, though sending Johnny to go over to her home was a bit much, I still wanted to verify and confirm it was indeed her. She was going to be mine again and this time I won’t let her slip through my fingers.

When I heard her voice, the most beautiful melody, a voice that I had missed hearing every hour, every minute, everyday. But when I turned to get a look at her for the first time after 3 years, her face looked drained of color. Like she’d come face to face with her worst nightmare.

“It’s nice seeing you again… Y/N” I spoke. Her name, finally saying it to her again.

“Yo-you” she spoke softly, head to the floor, “What are you doing here” she asked.

Silence.

I signaled Johnny out the room, I knew this encounter wouldn’t be a happy one, far from it.

“What do you mean? I’m here to conduct your interview,” Jaehyun answered.

“Don’t tell me you're the-” “CEO? Yes, that would be me. Let me introduce myself, I’m Jeong Jaehyun, CEO of J.Corps,” he explained, walking over, closer.

I lifted my head. He was in front of me now. We looked at each other, burning our gazes into each other.

“So what, you wanted to mock me? Ridicule me? Humiliate me?” I yelled, holding back tears.

How could the 3 years I spent, forgetting, moving on come crumbling down in a matter of seconds.

He came closer, but I backed away, “No, Y/N I would never do that. That was never my intention, I just wanted to… to see you again. Do you know how hard it’s been for me since you left?”

Oh?

3 years ago…

Y/N version:

It was a particularly cold January day. Y/N found herself waiting in the big shared apartment complex for Jaehyun. Awaiting his arrival so that she could announce the big news…

Her pregnancy.

As of late Y/N hasn’t been feeling her best and after she missed her menstrual cycle, she put 2 and 2 together. So upon taking several pregnancy tests and a doctor visit, she indeed got the confirmation she needed. She was pregnant, 3 weeks to be exact, according to her doctor. Oh boy, was she excited, it was her dream, this child inside her was not only hers, but Jaehyun’s as well. Their child.

As every second, minute, and hour passed, Jaehyun was still not home. But, Y/N didn’t let this bother her as Jaehyun had been occupied with work, as of late, resulting in him coming home late. As she waited she watched whatever television show, a means of keeping herself awake. In the midst of this her phone pinged. A message. Her mind went immediately to Jaehyun, but that fantasy got shut down in a matter of seconds. It was her brother, Taeyong Lee.

Taeyong: Isn’t this Jaehyun?

Then proceeded to send an image. In a matter of seconds her world came crumbling down.

The image in question was of Jaehyun, no matter how much she tried denying it, it was useless because that was him. Jaehyun with some other woman. They were hugging or more like cuddling one another, seemingly enjoying each other's company.

Y/N: Yes… but who’s that besides him?

Her mind was overflowing with questions and her heart was overflowing with emotions.

Taeyong: To tell you the truth, I don’t know. I came out for some drinks with my friends and well he was here

Taeyong: At first, I wasn’t sure but it sure did seem like him

Taeyong: So I took the picture to verify with you it really was him

‘What the fuck. Does this mean all this time he was out doing supposed “work” he was partying up at some club with god knows how many women?’ was what she thought. She didn’t know what to do, what to feel. But, she tried suppressing her emotions as she remembered she was carrying a child after all. The doctor told her earlier not to put too much strain as it could be bad for the baby. Yet that didn’t stop the tears from coming out. They flowed down her face.

How could he?

Why would he?

In those moments she realized what she needed to do. It was to get out. Leave him. And so she did. She called Soyoung asking for a place to stay, explaining everything, minus the baby part as she feared she might’ve made her want to murder Jaehyun even more than she would’ve. Packing her stuff, leaving not one single trace of her behind.

Fuck this and Fuck him.

3 years ago…

Jaehyun’s version:

Lately, Jaehyun has been stuck working non-stop as he was in the midst of preparing to inherit his father’s company. He kept this a secret from Y/N, wanting to surprise her. But, this particular night ended differently from the rest. His colleagues, Mark and Jungwoo suggested going to a bar for some drinks, as a way to get Jaehyun to take a break. Jaehyun was left with no option but to oblige. So the trio went out to a local bar not far from the office. Though, it seems like Jaehyun had a little too much. Was it all the stress from working so hard? Yet, needless to say, he was drunk.

That was when another trio, some woman came in and joined them, but Jaehyun, being drunk, practically passed out, doesn’t take into account one of them bundled up against him.

In that moment was when Taeyong entered the same bar and spotted him. From Taeyong’s perspective it looked like they were all up on each other but in reality that really wasn’t the case.

After some time, the girls left the trio by themselves, finding other men to be with. Mark was somewhat sober and noted Jaehyn was asleep so he tried reaching out to Johnny to get him to come get Jaehyun.

Johnny drove Jaehyun to Johnny’s apartment complex. Getting Jaehyun out was a hassle, it was like dealing with a dead but very much alive body. He placed Jaehyun on his bed and slept on the couch.

Oh, was Jaehyun gonna get an earful when he’d awaken.

Jaehyun awoke the next morning, his head stinged, possibly from all the drinks he’d had last night. He looked around, noticing an unfamiliar setting.

‘Where am I?’ he wondered. This wasn’t the shared apartment he had with Y/N. That was when a familiar figure opened the door, Johnny.

“Finally, you’re awake! You seriously need to calm down on the drinks man,” Johnny nagged. He handed Jaehyun some medication, to help with the hangover. “Since you’re awake want some breakfast?”

“No, I’m good, I'll go eat with Y/N she must be worried. Can I at least use your shower?” Jaehyun asked.

Johnny agreed and showed him to the bathroom and lended him some of his clothes. After showering Jaehyun noticed his phone was on the floor, it must've fallen when he laid down. He opened it, but to his surprise no calls nor texts from Y/N.

‘That’s weird? Is she mad?’ Jaehyun wondered, after all he didn’t tell her he wouldn’t be home last night. So he tried calling her, no answer, he tried again, again no answer. He began panicking, imagining the worst. He rushed out of the bedroom, to Johnny.

“Can you drive me back home, I need to go NOW!”

“Sure, but what’s wrong?” Johnny tried asking.

“It’s Y/N she’s not answering my calls or my messages.”

Johnny asked nothing more and the two left the apartment. Johnny sensed a sense of urgency and desperacy from Jaehyun.

Once they arrived Jaehyun didn’t waste time, not bidding nor thanking Johnny. He ran, like his life depended on it. Jaehyun entered the door code and opened the apartment door.

It was dark, deprived of any light. It felt cold, like if the freezer had been left open. He called her name, yet again no answer.

Jaehyun was scared. Scared to even turn on the lights. Scared of what he may find. But when the lights shunned in that room, it felt as though death came to him. He searched every room for Y/N. When he reached the bedroom his clothes were scattered and Y/N’s completely gone. No note left from Y/N, nothing, not a single trace.

She was gone. Everything of and about her was gone. Her scent was gone too.

And at that moment, Jaehyun felt that he’d lost you. Forever.

3 years ago…

the following day

I’d finally awoken, last night's events playing in my head. It was a nightmare. Jaehyun had been cheating on me in the disguise of “work.” After being together for 6 years I thought nothing could stop our love, stop us, but it seems like this universe had other plans in mind. I’d gotten up from Soyoung’s bed, turning to my left where my phone laid on a night stand. I grabbed it, powering it back on.

20+ missed calls, 20+ messages all from Jaehyun.

Messages like, “Where are you?” “Y/N please tell me where are you” “I’m sorry Y/N please come back” “Answer me Y/N”

‘What the actual fuck’ I thought. Was he serious right now? After everything he did, he’s out here begging me?

I got up from bed and headed outside. I looked for Soyoung and she was nowhere to be found, only leaving behind a small post-it note with the words, “Went to work, call me if anything :)”

I was alone again, well I still had my baby with me. I stroked my stomach, remembering to eat some breakfast, for the sake of my child. While I ate I thought about how I still needed to break-up with him, end this... For my sake and for my child’s.

With courage I opened his contact. And typed

Y/N: Meet me at your apartment. I’ll be there at 2.

He immediately read it, three dots typing

Jaehyun: Do you mean our apartment?

Jaehyun: Y/N?

Jaehyun: Fine, i’ll be here waiting for you

I didn’t answer back, why should I? I’d made my intentions clear.

I got ready, using the clothes I’d brought with me and wrote Soyoung a post-it in case she came back earlier, and headed off. Facing Jaehyun wasn’t going to be easy, but I had to, I had to get out of this.

When I arrived it was like Jaehyun was waiting for me, the door opened before I could put in the code. He looked disheveled, miserable, like his life had been sucked out of him. I stepped inside, closing the door behind me. He got closer, trying to embrace me into a hug, but I backed away him down. He was shocked, he knew this wasn’t like me, in fact I loved his embraces, his warm touch, but knowing those arms touched someone else’s, embraced someone else made me disgusted. He disgusts me.

“Y- Y/N?”

I gathered up all my courage, fighting back tears, clenching my fist.

“Let’s break-up Jae.”

Those words were like Jaehyun’s second death.

“N-no, Y/N what? Why? What’s wrong, le-let’s talk it out, please” tears started spilling from his eyes, his voice shaken.

“There’s nothing to say Jae, let’s end this here and now. Please, I- I just can’t do this anymore, I don’t love you anymore,” lies, how could I not anymore? Jaehyun is all I wanted. He was the perfect boyfriend, I truly love him. After all I was to- we were to have a child together, but he would much rather warmly embrace another…

I looked into his eyes, tears overflowing from those chocolate like eyes of his. Nothing was said, it was silent until he spoke again, “Fine, if that’s how you truly feel then fine, I won’t blame you…” he hesitated for a moment before finally saying it, “let’s break up.”

At that moment, tears were threatening to fall down, but I couldn't, I wanted to stay strong for just a little while longer. I made my way to the door, wanting nothing more but to get out of here.

I took one last look, he was still standing there, lifeless. I’m sorry Jae, but I wasn’t gonna be by his side and act like nothing happened.

“Goodbye Jaehyun,” I said, coldly, with no emotion. I felt numb, my heart was ruptured into a million pieces.

There was no more us. It was over.

Back to Present

“Look, Jaehyun, how about we end this talk? What happened in the past, doesn’t matter. I’ve moved on and you should’ve too,” I told him.

“Ye-yeah, you’re right after all I called you in for an interview, not to argue about our past.” he said before continuing, “please have a seat” he gestured to the chair in front of his desk.

I sat down, taking a deep breath in before bracing myself. I’m here to get a job after, even if that means having my ex-boyfriend, aka my child’s father as my boss.

“Now Y/N you applied to be my secretary, right?” he asked.

“Yes before I knew you were to be my boss,” slight attitude in voice. Mainly because I still found the whole situation a bit annoying.

“What? Do you not want the job any more?”

“I DO!” I yelled. How else was I gonna support Chaemin, making sure he got everything he needed in life.

“Fine then, let me ask you some questions,” he said, getting more serious. He really stepped into his job as CEO.

The interview took some time, but by the end of it I felt some confidence.

“One last question” he abruptly questioned. I nodded signaling him to proceed.

“Are you truly fine with working with me? You know being my secretary means having to be by my side at all times.”

I gave it some thought, ‘Was this his way of saying I got the job?’ If so, I have to say no, maybe it’ll be a pain, but again for Chaemin’s sake I have to. As long as he doesn’t find out about Chaemin.

“Yes… It’s like I told you before Jaehyun what happened in the past happened and I've moved on.”

He studied me and my face for a while before proceeding to say, “Fine then, you're hired.”

I instantly gleamed with happiness, finally a stable job where I'd receive a stable income. No more part-time job at some restaurants or grocery stores.

“THANK YOU MR. JEONG!” I bowed, giving Jaehyun my thanks.

“You know it feels weird having you bow to me, don’t do that again unless you wanna get fired.” he joked. “You can start the day after tomorrow. I’ll tell Johnny to send you your schedule later and a set of company rules.”

“Alright, thank you once again.”

“I’ll see you the day after tomorrow then… Bye Y/N or should I say Ms. Lee,” he said, giving a slight smile. His dimples on display, the same dimples like Chaemin’s.

“You can just call me by my name, it feels weird being called Ms. Lee by you,” I say walking towards the doors.

I heard Jaehyun briefly chuckle at my remark saying, “As you wish Ms. Y/N.”

I stopped, not opening the door yet and turned around one last time. “Goodbye Mr. Jeong.”

He gave me a wave and I returned one back. Opening and closing his office doors.

As I walked back to the elevators, I heard someone call my name. The voice in question was Johnny. He came towards me stopping 3 feet from me. Bowing he said, “I’m so sorry Y/N I know you probably hate Jaehyun yet I deliberately kept his identity from you… but it’s just the guy has really been a mess since you left, I’m not saying this in the hopes of anything, but really Y/N... Jaehyun may seem like nothings bothering him, especially something that took place years ago, but it’s still an everlasting nightmare engraved in him.”

I was speechless to say the least. I thought maybe he would’ve moved on and exaggerated earlier when he said, “Do you know how hard it’s been for me since you left?”

Answering Johnny I said, “Oh, no, no it’s fine I mean it hasn’t been easy for me either, but I found a new happiness, something to live for,” I said smiling as I remembered Chaemin’s bright dimpled-smile.

The elevator finally arrived, my cue to leave. I bowed to Johnny, “Thank you though… for everything,” I said, indicating at looking after and taking care of Jaehyun all this time.

As the doors closed I saw Johnny smiling, giving me a wave goodbye.

On the elevator ride down, I thought about what had just happened, trying to process it clearly now. ‘This is my life now…’ The man who I thought I’d never see again, came back–unexpectedly--but he was back. Though, this time we were employer and employee, nothing more.

✧˚ · .

I made my way back home, I’d notified Soyoung, in which she responded, ‘Chaemin’s still playing, we probably won’t be back for a while.’

That was good to say the least, part of me wanted nothing more but to be alone right now. After my encounter with Jaehyun, flashbacks of 3 years ago replayed in my head. It felt like I was there–in that apartment complex I shared with him–telling him ‘Let’s break up.’

Seeing him everyday from now on wasn’t going to be easy, but it’s something I’ll have to deal with. I was in a daze when my phone pinged. It was an email.

To: Ms. Y/L/N

From: Johnny Suh

Subject: Work Schedule - Company Rules and Guidelines.

Hello Ms. Y/L/N,

I know you just left a while ago, but Jaehyun informed me to send you your Work Schedule and a set of Company rules and Guidelines. So I have attached two files, one for each subject. Please let me know if you have any questions or would like for your schedule to be rearranged. Thank you.

[ Y/L/N Scedule.pdf ]

[ J.Corps Rules and Guidelines.pdf ]

I skimmed through both files, my schedule was fairly decent. From 7am to 11pm, everyday. I mean I applied for secretary, I knew what I was getting into, the long hours, piles of papers to look over, countless appointments, etc.

Yeah, maybe that meant less time to see Chaemin, but he was already going to school, so he wouldn’t be that alone. At least, the pay was good too and I would even get paid on vacations and absences. Maybe Jaehyun isn’t too bad of a boss after all.

I replied to Johnny’s email after going through everything, “Everything seems fine to me. Thank you Johnny, I look forward to working with you!” And hit send.

I rested my head against the couch, feeling myself finally relax. Without realizing it I had drifted, drifted into a warm and cozy sleep.

✧˚ · .

I felt something on me, something calling me.

“-my,” It said. It shook me, “Mommy!”

I know who that something and it was now, Chaemin.

I awoke from my restful nap to my child, sitting on my lap.

“Hey, baby. You’re back from your playdate?” I asked.

“Yes, mommy! I had soooo much fun and I wanted to tell you all about it, but when I came in we saw you sleeping on the couch!”

“I’m sorry baby, mommy has had a long day.”

I tried smiling, trying to avoid being pestered with questions by Chaemin. I was in no mood to lie, I couldn’t. I don’t know if it was my half-asleep or half-woken state or my guilt that rushed over me when I had just met the one person Chaemin has been dying to see- to meet, his father.

What I didn’t expect was Chaemin to embrace me into a hug. ‘Was he trying to comfort me?’ I felt tears threatening to spill from my eyes, ‘What did I do to deserve him, he’s so precious. My Chaemin, my baby.’ We stayed like that for a while longer, until I heard quiet breaths and little snores. He’d fallen asleep, all the while embracing me, his mother.

At that moment Soyoung walked in. I had forgotten she must’ve been here too. I shushed her, signaling to her that Chaemin was asleep. She gave me an Ok.

I got up, whispering to her, “I’ll go put him in his bed, be right back.” She nodded.

I continued my way to Chaemin’s room. Opening the door and heading straight to his bed. I lifted the covers, putting him down and untying his shoes. I tucked him in–making sure he was nice and cozy–gave him a good night's kiss, and whispered to him, “Good Night.”

As I made my way to the living room, Soyoung was on the couch, two glasses of wine on the coffee table, already filled. I knew I had to tell her, tell her about my encounter with Jaehyun.

“Don’t just stand there, here have a drink,” Soyoung said in a cheerful tone, offering me a glass of wine.

I made my way to the couch, sitting down next to her and taking the glass she’d offered me. I took a sip, enjoying the sensation it brought down my throat.

“Rough day?” She asked.

I hummed.

“Didn’t get the job?”

I looked at her, “Yeah, I did… it’s just.”

“Just?”

I took another sip, hoping this wine intoxicates me to have some confidence, some courage.

“I saw him- Jaehyun I mean.”

She didn’t speak, she looked shocked, her eyes widening.

“When I walked into the supposed CEO’s office, he was there… Jaehyun is the CEO.”

“Shut up! What the fuck Y/N!”

She seemed enraged. It’s been 3 years, but she’d still gladly murder Jaehyun if she had the chance.

“I wish I was lying, wished my eyes deceived me, but it really was him. After 3 years, he appeared before me again. Though, he looked hurt, in pain.”

She let out a chuckle, “Him hurt? In pain? Are you hearing yourself Y/N? We’re talking about Jaehyun! Jaehyun, the man who cheated on you!”

“I know, but the way he would look at me, like I was still his world, like he still loved me. And the strange things he said.”

“What did he say?”

“‘I just wanted to… to see you again. ‘Do you know how hard it’s been for me since you left?’ Was what he said.”

“That ass-”

“I didn’t get it. Why now? I felt like my life was finally peaceful, like I’d never see him again, but then today happened. Then suddenly, I began reminiscing, going back to those days from 3 years ago,” I interrupted her before she could have an outburst.

Her expression softened. Soyoung was the only one who truly understood me, who stood by my side after I left him. She supported me, even accompanying me to my ultrasound appointments whenever she could. Truly one of the best, best friends anyone could ever ask for.

“Look, Y/N, I’ve always told you I’ll support you no matter what, whatever happens I’ll be here. I just hope you don’t forget what he did to you. No matter how long it’s been. It pained me seeing you like that, with no will to live.”

My face felt wet. Ah, the tears that I’d been bottling up since the morning finally streaming down my face.

Soyoung pulled me into her embrace. She rubbed my back, like I was some baby, but I didn’t move, in fact I enjoyed it. It felt warm, it felt safe. I continued sobbing, whispering, “I love you,” to Soyoung.

She whispered back, “I love you more.”

I smiled, peacefully drifting off to sleep again.

✧˚ · .

I awoke the next morning. Finding myself on the couch and Soyoung on the other side. She was still sleeping, peacefully sleeping. I got up sneaking my way back to my room. Tomorrow is the day I remembered. My first day as Jaehyun’s secretary.

I slipped into the shower, readying myself for today. Today I decided to go visit my mother with Chaemin. Crossing my fingers she’d agree to looking after Chaemin while I worked.

As I made my way back outside, Soyoung was in the kitchen, making herself some coffee.

“Good morning to you,” I said.

She looked at me yawning, “Good morning.”

Soyoung wasn’t quite a morning person, the same could be said about me too. I joined her in the kitchen–taking ingredients out–making breakfast.

“Could you go wake Chaemin up for me?” I asked her.

She didn’t need to be asked twice, scurrying off to Chaemin’s room. I began making, yet another regular breakfast. Scrambled eggs, bacon, crispy toasted bread, and a yogurt parfait (another one of Chaemin’s favorites). As I just about finished, I heard footsteps approaching. Soyoung carried a sleepy, but woken Chaemin in her arms.

“Smells, good!” she said.

“I’m just about done. What do you wanna drink, Chaemin?”

“Chocolate milk,” he mumbled.

I softly chuckled, “Alright, go sit down and I’ll bring out the food shortly.”

Soyoung left with Chaemin, seating him down at the table and walked back to the kitchen.

“I’ll help make the chocolate milk,” she said.

“Make me some too!” I said.

“Sure thing, anything else your highness,” she teased, laughing at her own statement.

I cringed. Soyoung really was something.

✧˚ · .

After we finished breakfast, Soyoung insisted on cleaning up, to which I had no choice but to agree. I took this as an opportunity to get Chaemin ready. It was already 10 a.m and we best be on our way to my mother’s.

As I got him ready Soyoung popped in. “Hey! I’m a go now,” she said.

“What? Really?”

“Yeah, besides you guys have to go see your mother.”

I’d informed them of my visit while we ate breakfast, in which Chaemin smiled so happily, he loved his grandmother.

“Alright then, I'll see you…”

“Soon, soon I promise,” she said.

“Fine by me. Bye Soyoung. Thank you for everything, literally everything,” I told her, embracing her into a warm hug. She helped me yet again yesterday. She’s like my angel sent from heaven.

“You know I’ll always be here.”

We let go of one another and she bid her goodbye to Chaemin.

“I love you Y/N, take care,” she said as she left.

“I love you too Soo.”

With Soyoung gone, I finished getting Chaemin ready, packing him any necessities in his backpack. You know, in case of emergencies. I finished and carried him, all the way to my car. I locked our home door, placed him in his carseat, and soon we were off the road to visit grandma.

✧˚ · .

My mother lived an hour away, living in the same home since I’d been born. I’m actually glad she hasn’t moved, that home holds some of my most precious memories, times when I was an innocent child, expecting life to be rainbows and sunshine.

My family was quite small, consisting of my mother, father, and older brother Taeyong. In their eyes, I was their baby. Despite our four year age gap, my brother and I got along. We were like regular siblings. My family was pretty well off too, owning and operating a restaurant in the town they live in. I truly love this family.

While on the ride there, a memory flashed in my head. The day I told them I was pregnant.

3 years ago…

I sat my mother down, my father joining soon after. Taeyong was set to arrive anytime soon. I’d call them all over to tell them about my pregnancy and about Jaehyun. My family absolutely loved Jaehyun, so how would they react to this news?

The door opened and then closed, Taeyong storming in. He noticed us as he came into the living room, taking a seat.

“What’s wrong Y/N, is everything okay?” He asked.

I felt my tears rushing out of me again for the nth time this week. I’m surprised my eyes don’t look like puffer fish by now.

Weakly I said, “I-I’m pregnant.”

Shock on their faces. Soon after my mother rose and pulled into a hug. It felt nice, warm, something I haven’t felt in a while.

“Congratulations!” She said.

“Bu-but.”

“But? But what sweetie?”

I sucked up all the strength I had left, “I broke up with Jaehyun.”

There it was. Saying his name, that phrase, triggered the tears. They fell, like a waterfall.

My mother sat back down. The happiness from earlier, wiped.

“Why? What’d he do? I thought you two always wanted a child?” she asked. She was as broken as me.

“That ass-” Taeyong finally spoke.

“Taeyong,” my father said sternly.

“What is it Taeyong? Do you know?” mother asked, looking between me and Taeyong.

He looked at me for approval, I nodded. I didn’t have much in me to explain.

“He cheated on her,” he said bluntly.

My parents turned their heads to me. My father was fuming and my mother in disbelief. Taeyong explained the situation-his encounters of that night-and I chimed in whenever I could. My father looked like he was about to explode, ready to kill. My mother walked over to me, lifting my head up. I was a sobbing mess. She embraced me yet again, letting me cry on her.

She patted me on the head, “It’s okay my darling, you did what was best for you, for your baby.”

I stayed like that for a while longer. Until I pulled away. Their eyes on me, filled with sadness at watching me break down like that.

She took my hands. They felt so warm.

“Y/N, no matter what happens from here on out we’ll support you, you can stay here until you can find a job. We’ll take care of you and the baby. Your guys' well-being is all that matters, after all.”

My father nodded in agreement. He didn’t say much, he never really did, but I knew he cared.

Taeyong got up as well, putting a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll be here too, I’ll come visit whenever I can, I’ll take care of you and the little one,” he smiled.

It was moments like these that gave me hope, gave me a will to live. ‘Your going to be one lucky baby.’

15 minutes later, me and Chaemin arrived at our destination–Grandma’s house. We got out of the car and walked to the gate. I opened it, making our way to the front door.

“Wanna knock Chaemin?”

He knocked, his little knuckles hitting the door. No answer. I told him to do it once more. So he did. Luckily this time the door opened.

“Oh! What a pleasant surprise!” my mother said happily.

“Grandma!”

I passed Chaemin to my mother, she took him into her arms where they embraced each other. She then pulls me into a hug, feeling that motherly warmth. We part and she says, “Come in, come in sweeties.”

We made our way to the living room in which me and Chaemin sat down.

“Any drinks?” she asked.

“Juice!” yelled Chaemin.

“Some water is fine, mom.”

She grabbed the beverages and then proceeded to sit down with us.

“So what brings you here darling?” she asked me.

“Ah, well the thing is I finally found a stable job,” I said.

“Really!? That’s amazing darling!”

“Yeah, but it requires me to be at work from 7 to 11, everyday,” I explained. “So I was wondering if you could watch over Chaemin while I’m gone.”

Before she said anything I informed, “Ah well you wouldn’t have to care for him completely just getting him ready for school, dropping and picking him up, and making sure he sleeps.”

She looked in deep thought. “You can even come live with me, if you want or I can drop Chaemin off,” I said.

“Y/N enough rambling, I know whenever you ramble it’s because you're nervous, but don’t be darling. I won’t say no to you, of course I'll take care of Chaemin. After all, this is your first serious job opportunity, go for it.” she said.

I was glad she supported me, but would she still feel the same if she knew I'd be working for Jaehyun?

Our visit ended up lasting longer than I'd expected, as by the time we left the sun was beginning to set. Chaemin got to see his Grandpa too, in which they spent quality time together. It warmed my heart seeing my family laughing and smiling in front of my eyes.

We bidded them a farewell, giving each other a hug and kiss goodbye. I walked to my car, Chaemin wrapped around my waist. I put him in his car seat and went to mine. As I drove away my parents were still outside. They waved at us, with a big ol-smile on their faces.

The talk with my mother went smoothly, we agreed to rotate from one week of her staying at my home and the next with Chaemin staying with them. Starting tomorrow she’d arrived just as I was to leave.

Tomorrow, less than 24 hours away. My new life from now on, with him there.

✧˚ · .

I could hear my alarm ringing. I reached out to grab my phone, 5:00 a.m read the lock screen. It was times like this that I wish I was a morning person because as much as I wanted to get ready, I stayed in bed for another 5 to 10 minutes.

When I finally felt like getting up I made my way to the bathroom, a nice shower ought to do it. I proceeded to dress myself in a white button down long sleeve shirt, a black pencil skirt that reached above my knees, and a black wool coat. Once dressed it was time for hair and make-up. I decided on straightening my hair and another natural look, natural to the point it looked as though I had nothing on.

With around 50 minutes left to spare I grabbed the black Loewe handbag my brother Taeyong gifted me a while back. I stuffed in my necessities, to survive 16 hours in that company. I quietly went into Chaemin’s room, kissing him goodbye before I left.

I looked at my phone clock again, it was time to go. I approached the front door, slipping on my black heels. As I opened the door and looked up I saw my mother approaching in her car. She sure is punctual. I walked over, helping her with her suitcases and briefly explained some things and told her to text, if not call me if anything.

“Good luck,” she said, smiling as I left to my car.

Once I was all situated, I drove off. My first day as Jaehyun’s secretary. ‘I wonder what today will have in store for me.”

I parked my car, luckily there weren’t many cars parked. I made my way to the elevators to get out of the parking lot, arriving on the first floor. Last time I was so nervous that I was unable to see the cafe on the first floor. I went in, getting myself something to eat, but also some things for Johnny and Jaehyun, I mean starting today we were all going to work with one another, so why not commemorate? I ordered a frappe for myself and two coffees, ordering Jaehyun’s just as he liked it, hoping he doesn’t take this in some way. As well as 3 sandwiches, all the same,

‘I hope Johnny doesn’t have any food allergies.’

With drinks and sandwiches in hand, I made my way to the elevators, up to the 14th floor.

Ding.

I was here. The 14th floor. I took a deep breath in, going out of the elevator. I made my way straight to Jaehyun’s office. Taking in another deep breath before knocking.

“Who is it,” said a voice, his voice.

“It’s Y/N, sir.”

“Come in.”

I gripped the door handle, opening the door. There he was. Like last time, sat in his desk chair, wearing a suit, and a pen in hand.

“Good morning. Welcome to your first day Ms. Y/N,” he said smiling, displaying his dimples.

I walked towards the seating area in his office, placing the things I bought in the cafe on the coffee table. Taking out only his things.

I walked over, standing in front of him. He gave me a confused look.

“I stopped by the cafe before coming here and thought about buying you and Johnny a gift,” I said, shyly.

“A gift?” he questioned.

“A I look forward to working with you, type of gift.” It probably sounded stupid, but it was the truth.

He chuckled. “Please take care of me then,” he said, taking the coffee and sandwich out of my hands. “Thank you Ms. Y/N. Next time I’ll treat you.”

I nodded, retrieving my things, before heading to the door. I looked back saying, “I look forward to working with you.” I was about to bow when I remembered when he told me it made him uncomfortable seeing me do such a thing to him of all people.

I saw a faint smile appear on his face. “Same here, now go do your work secretary.”

I smiled and then nodded, heading out of his office. ‘Maybe this won’t be too bad after all.’

✧˚ · .

I’m starting to regret what I said earlier about this being not too bad. 5 hours into my first day as secretary and I've booked 5 appointments for Jaehyun and gone through 2 files. It’s no easy work, not to mention my running back and forth from my office to Jaehyun’s, a whole cardio workout. But with 30 minutes left until my lunch break, I decided to go over one more file.

I was going over the third file when I heard a knock on my office door. I looked up yelling, “Come in.”

It was Johnny, his figure walking into my office space.

“It’s almost lunch time and I was wondering if you wanted to eat together? You know as a thank you for the coffee and sandwich.”

“Sure, let me just grab my bag.”

“No need Y/N, i’ll pay.”

“Oh my- Thank you Johnny.”

I still grabbed my bag and we then walked out, heading to the cafeteria.

Lunch was delicious, true to his word Johnny paid for everything. We ate and chatted. Surprisingly me and Johnny seem to have hit it off pretty easily and quickly. When we finished Johnny was kind enough to throw our trash away.

Afterwards, we headed back to the 14th floor. Where work is to be resumed. As we stepped out of the elevators we saw Jaehyun leaving his office. He noticed us, nodding when he did.

“Off somewhere?” asked Johnny.

Jaehyun stopped, “I got a call to stop by the new store we’re opening.” His eyes alternated from me to Johnny.

“Ooh, go ahead then don’t wanna keep them waiting.”

“I’ll see you two when I get back,” he said, getting ready to leave but said, “Oh Y/N can you look over a file I sent you, I need it done by today.”

“Sure thing, i’ll go look at it in a sec.”

He gave an approved hum before finally entering the elevator that arrived. He gave a short wave, in which me and Johnny both returned.

Just as Jaehyun said, I looked over the file he sent. It took around 4 hours, from reading it thoroughly, editing it, and finalizing it. After that I sent it back to him. ‘I wonder if he’s back by now… What? Seriously Y/N what are you thinking?’

The rest of the day went by normally, I even went to take my picture for my employee card. Johnny informed me about that when we were eating lunch. It was a long first day but it was finally time to leave. I looked out my window, seeing it was pitch dark outside. I went to Jaehyun’s office–he must’ve been here by now–to inform him about my leave. I knocked.

“Come in,” said his voice.

As I walked in he looked up, leaving whatever he was doing, giving me his attention.

“I’m here to tell you that it’s time for me to leave.”

He looked at his watch. “Ah, yes it is. Good job today.”

“Thank you sir.” I said.

“Drive safely,” he said. ”See you tomorrow Y/N.”

“I will, and see you tomorrow too. Bye Mr. Jeong.”

As we bidded each other a goodbye I walked out of his office. I felt his gaze burning holes in my back, I tried ignoring it as I walked out.

I headed to Johnny’s office next, bidding him a farewell as well. I left the building, heading to my car. The drive home was fairly peaceful. When I rolled into my driveway I noticed the kitchen lights were still on.

I walked into my home, my mother was still up. It was well past 11 and she was still up.

“Why are you still up, mom?”

“I wanted to wait for you, make sure you made it back safely.”

“Thank you, but next time don’t do that, you should rest as well.”

“Sure, sure, sure, but how was your first day?” she asked.

“Tiring and exhausting, but great.”

“That’s nice, now go get ready for bed. Rest yourself up darling.”

“Mmm, you too mother. Good Night,” I said, giving her a hug before we went to our respective rooms.

I got into bed, feeling so nice to finally relax. It must’ve been how tired I was since I was able to fall asleep very fast.

✧˚ · .

The first week went by quickly. I accompanied Jaehyun to several meetings and even to some of the stores the company owned. It was still quite tiring and exhausting, but sooner or later I'd be used to all this.

By the second week, I felt drained. I wanted out, but it was too late now wasn't it?

The third week came around and it was better. I felt more adapted to all this. Even working with Jaehyun seemed easier, not as awkward as before.

One month later.

It was well over a month by now and I would say I’ve grown to feel like I belong here. Today was a fairly regular day, like any other. I was working on the monthly report when my office phone rang, I picked it up wondering who it could've been.

“Can you come to my office?” said the person on the other line. I recognized that voice, it was Jaehyun.

I wonder what he could’ve wanted now? To book him another appointment? To look over files? reports? I left my office and headed to his. Unlike before, now I just walk in, no knocking.

“What can I do for you sir?”

“I know this isn’t work related but, is it okay if I treat you to some dinner after work? With Johnny too of course.”

I felt flabbergasted, no words. He must’ve felt it too because he said, “Ah, but of course you don’t have to- I just thought we’d commemorate your first month working here, after all I do owe you a dinner.”

Oh, right he did in fact owe me dinner. So there should be no reason to refuse, right?

“Sure,” I said.

My eyes might’ve deceived me but his expression seemed to brighten. “Great, then we’ll get off work earlier. 8 seems fine?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll try and finish before we leave,” I said, making my way to the door. I headed back to my office, quickly finishing the report before it was time to leave.

It was finally time, well not 8 exactly but 10 minutes till 8. I organized my desk and then grabbed my things.

Knock.

“Are you ready to go?” said Johnny from the other side.

I walked to the door, opening it. “Yes, where is Jaehyun?”

In that moment it was like he appeared out of thin air.

“Shall we?” he asked.

We nodded, Jaehyun walking first and us following behind him. We waited for the elevator and headed down to the garage. Johnny and Jaehyun headed to Jaehyun’s car, while I went to mine.

“I’ll send over the location,” Johnny said.

“Okay, thanks.”

I put the address into my phone GPS, exiting the parking lot. I ended up arriving before them, considering how we both left at the same time. I took this as an opportunity to call my mother, informing her I'd go out to eat with my boss and a co-worker. As much as I insisted for her not to worry and go to sleep–but as stubborn as she was–she refused. Just as I hung up they arrived.

“What took you two so long?” I asked as they approached.

“I needed to stop by the convenience store,” Johnny answered.

“Ohh-” I was going to say before Jaehyun interrupted me, “Shall we?”

We then followed Jaehyun inside the restaurant. It wasn’t some luxurious restaurant, it was a normal restaurant. A BBQ place. We sat down at our table, the food beginning to roll in, and so did the drinks. Johnny grabbed the bottle, pouring some to me and Jaehyun.

“To commemorate your first month,” he said, lifting the small cup.

I giggled, lifting mine. “Thank you Johnny.”

“Any words Jae?” asked Johnny.

I looked over to Jaehyun, noticing he was at a loss for words. It was like he was trying to find the right words, the right sentences.

“As Johnny said, congrats on your first month. You’ve worked hard, I see it in your work. Good job, Y/N.”

“Thank you sir,” I said, slightly embarrassed.

“You don’t have to call me sir anymore, we’re not at work.”

“Ah, sorry. Thank you J-Jaehyun,” I said.

Thankfully Johnny interfered before things got awkward saying, “Cheers!”

We held our cups up, drinking that one shot. It’d been a while since I’ve drank anything other than wine. Ever since Chaemin, I haven’t drank or gotten drunk. I wouldn’t say I was a high-tolerance type of person, nor of low-tolerance.

The night passed, we ate, and we drank more. We conversed in conversation both about work and many other things. The last thing I remember was feeling hazy, I felt myself sway–left to right, right to left before hitting something. My eyes shut. Pitch-black.

Jaehyun’s POV

Y/N was drunk. There was no denying it. The moment she hit the table, I knew for sure now. I’ve been keeping an eye on her for the past hour since we arrived. Her cheeks started turning a pink-blushy color the more she drank. After being with her I knew she could handle her alcohol, but oftentimes would end up like this. I thought it’d be best to take her home.

“I’ll take her home,” I told Johnny.

“What about her car?” he asked.

“You drive it. Follow me to her home and leave her car parked there.”

“Alright, but do you know where she lives?”

“No, I forgot but I’m sure she’d tell us.”

I tried shaking her, trying to wake her up. She mumbled some words. Her head then propped up. She looked at me and Johnny, squinting her eyes into focus.

“Hey Y/N, wake up,” Johnny said. “Tell me where your home is so we can drive you there.”

“Huh? Oh! I live at… at a house!” she said.

“Yes, Y/N you do, now where is it,” Johnny asked.

She looked at him and then me. She called Johnny over, whispering her address into his ear.

“Alright, then let’s get you home!” he said.

He called me over, “I’ll send you her address, once you're in your car.”

“Now, Y/N can you give me your car keys?” he asked.

Y/N didn’t answer, searching her bag for her keys, until she dangled them in front of us. Johnny grabbed them and she swayed front and back this time. Before she could fall I caught her in my arms. I carried the very much asleep Y/N into the passenger seat of my car, strapping her in. I put her address into the GPS, driving her home. On the drive there Y/N kept mumbling in her sleep, the words were incoherent, until she said a name.

“Chaemin… my Chaemin.”

‘Chaemin? My? Who is this Chaemin? Did she actually move on?’ I thought. My heart broke, it ached.

Luckily the ride wasn’t too long, her home was just 15 minutes away. I got out of my car, making my way to her side. I grabbed her bag and then unstrapped her, carrying her once again and placing my suit jacket over her so she wouldn’t get cold. I walked to her front door, ringing the doorbell. ‘What if that Chaemin person is in there right now,’ I thought.

The door flung open, it was no guy, it was her mother. When she saw me, it looked like she’d just seen a ghost. Her eyes widening, her figure backing up. Her hand went to cover the body on her waist. ‘A child?’ I thought.

“Grandma?” spoke the little voice.

She finally spoke, “Ah, Chaemin sorry. Go to your room okay? I’ll be there in a bit.”

“But what about Mommy, I thought we were going to wait for her,” the little boy spoke as she placed him down.

“Mommy will be home soon, don't worry. In the meantime go play okay.”

He looked at her and then me, he looked familiar. His features looked all too familiar. Once he left and was out of sight she spoke to me.

“What are you doing here Jaehyun,” she said sternly.

“Hello Mrs. Lee, it’s been a while.”

“I don’t need small talk Jaehyun, tell me what you’re doing here.”

“Sorry, you see Y/N got a little drunk and ended up falling asleep so I,” I gestured to Y/N who was sleeping in my arms. “brought her home.”

She sighed. “Come in," she said.

She led me inside Y/N’s home. It reminded me of our old apartment, everything in there seemed like her. Her scent occuping the air. We stopped by a room, and she opened it. “Place her on her bed,” she said. I walked over to her bed, gently placing her. I wanted to tuck her in, but I was stopped. Her mother stopped me.

“Leave Jaehyun,” she said. “You brought her home, yes thank you, but please leave.”

I nodded, making my way outside her room. As I left I glanced around her home one last time, I noticed a photo frame by the front door. I looked at it, picking it up. It was of her and the little boy from earlier. They both looked so happy, his dimpled smile on full display. I felt a slight stab in my heart. I placed the picture down and made my way to the door. I opened it, leaving her home with nothing but confusion.

As I walked back to my car, I noticed Johnny leaning against it.

He must’ve noticed the confusion because he asked, “Everything okay?”

I didn’t answer, I was lost in the midst of all the questions I kept asking myself.

“Hello? Jaehyun!”

He knocked me out of my trance.

“Ah, sorry it’s just…”

“Just?”

“Johnny, Y/N has a child.”

I awoke the next morning. I felt groggy, hungover. Fuck. I must’ve drank so much. ‘But how did I get home?’

I looked around and saw it was well past 9. Shit, I was late for work. Whatever. I’ll just call in sick. I wasn’t in much of a spirit to go anyways.

I got up from my bed, making my way to the kitchen. My mother was still here.

“Go sit down on the couch, we need to have a talk.”

Was all she said, no “good morning.” I knew I was going to get an earful. As she made her way to the couch she brought out two coffee mugs and handed me one. I took a sip.

“Why was Jaehyun with you last night,” she said, getting straight to the point.

Fuck. Shit. So Jaehyun was the one who took me home.

“Mother, I can explain.”

“You better.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but Jaehyun, he- he’s my boss.”

She let out a sigh, “Why didn’t you tell me that before?”

“I was afraid you wouldn’t let me take up the job if you knew I’d be working for him.”

“I wouldn’t say no, after all it would be your choice to work with or for him, not mine.

“Sorry…” I said.

“But that should be the least of your concerns,” she said.

“What do you mean?” I asked, fearful.

“He… I think he knows about Chaemin,” she said, putting her palm to her cheek.

‘What… No. God, oh please no.’

Before I could respond, my phone rang. It was an unknown number. We looked at one another, I picked it up.

“Hello?” I said.

“Is this Y/N?” said the voice.

It was a man's voice. A voice that I knew all too well. Jaehyun.

✧˚ · .

I sped, probably violating various driving regulations.

It was Jaehyun who called me earlier, demanding we meet at a cafe, it was around 10 minutes from where I live. I knew this was about Chaemin, I knew it. I felt it.

As I pulled up no one was in the cafe. ‘Strange.’ I entered, he sat at a table looking at me as I entered. He put his coffee down. I walked over, not sitting down.

“What do you want Jaehyun,” I asked.

“Don’t worry I cleared the cafe, no one is here besides us right now. So, Y/N I want you to tell me the truth.”

“What do you mean?” I said, obviously knowing what he was talking about.

“Don’t act dumb, right now Y/N. Who is Chaemin?”

Great. He knows now, but no I can’t. I can’t get Chaemin taken away from me. He’s my life.

“He’s my child, but not yours.” White lie.

“Bullshit.”

“IT’S TRUE! How can he be yours, he’s about to be 2! I left 3 years ago, do the math Jaehyun.”

He looked at me, he was enraged, upset. “Y/N you know lying to me won’t work, i’ve known you long enough to know when you’re lying.”

Fuck. Was he truly not buying it?

He got up from his seat, coming closer to me. He stood in front of me now.

“Tell me, the truth Y/N now,” he demanded.

I guess I have no choice now, I have no other choice but to tell him. Tell him that Chaemin is his, Chaemin is ours.

I felt tears spill from my eyes as I tried saying, “Fine! Yes! Yes, Chaemin is yours.”

The room silenced, we no longer shouted at each other. My tears streamed down my face like a waterfall. In that silent moment, he pulled me into him. Our bodies finally touching each other for the first time in 3 years. As comfortable as it was, I couldn't, I hit his chest, over and over. He wouldn’t budge.

“Stop! Get away from me!” I started shouting again.

He let go, looking me in the eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I looked at him letting the events of that day replay. “I was. I really was, but you never came home that night.”

“That night?” he asked, giving a confused look.

“Don’t act stupid Jaehyun, that night you were supposed to be at “work” but were actually at a club with some goddamn woman all over you.”

“A woman?”

“Yes! Fuck, are you pretending you don’t know what I’m talking about?” I was getting mad, how can he act like he doesn’t know.

“Look Y/N that night, I really was at work. I was working as I had been the days prior, but that night Mark and Jungwoo suggested we go out for some drinks, as a means to get me to stop working. It must’ve been the stress from work, but that night I got drunk, blackout drunk. I don’t remember any woman or anything after the 30 minutes we got there. The next thing I knew I was waking up in Johnny’s bed,” he explained, looking me in the eyes as he confessed his re-encounters of that night.

What? Did I just misunderstand and assume he cheated on me? I didn’t know what to think or feel right now. My brain was all over the place, my heart too.

“Y/N,” he called my name softly. “You don’t have to believe me or forgive me, but this is what really happened that night, ask Johnny he knows–everything–just please, I beg you let me meet my child. Let me be a father, I'll support him, you don’t have to be alone anymore,” he said.

“I… uh… fine. I’ll let you see him,” I let out.

His face lightened up, “Thank you! Thank you Y/N!”

“But that doesn’t mean I forgive you or anything, I- I still need time… to think,” I said.

“That’s fine. Take your time, I'll wait Y/N, whether you love me or not it’s fine.”

‘Love. Do I still love him? Will I still be able to love him?’

I nodded, unable to respond to his statement. “Let’s go,” was all I said.

He gave me a confused look.

“To see your son. I thought you wanted to see him?”

“Ah, no, no, no I do! Let’s go,” he said, rushing out.

I softly chuckled watching him practically run to his car, he looked like a child. I got into my car, heading home hoping things go well between Chaemin and Jaehyun. Today has already been too much both physically and mentally.

✧˚ · .

We both parked in my garage and got out of our cars. We walked to my front door, but before I opened it I said, “Don’t say anything, I’ll tell everything to Chaemin.”

“Alright,” was all he said.

I opened the door yelling, “I’m home!”

I heard footsteps running, “Mommy!” Chaemin yelled. I got down on my knees hugging him and carrying him. He then noticed Jaehyun.

“Ah! he’s that mister from yesterday!” he said, pointing at Jaehyun.

Jaehyun smiled, “Hello, Chaemin.”

“It’s okay baby, you can talk to him,” I said, as Chaemin hesitated to talk to Jaehyun.

“Hi!” he said, waving his little hand at Jaehyun.

At that moment my mother walked in. She looked surprised, but she picked up on it quickly. Not saying a word to Jaehyun, just bowing. He did the same.

“Since you’re here now, I’ll get going,” she said.

“Okay mom, see you soon,” I said, bidding her goodbye.

“Bye Grandma! Thank you,” Chaemin said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Be a good boy to mommy,” she said, before exiting my home.

It was now me, Jaehyun, and Chaemin. It was now time to end the lies, the white lies.

I walked to the living room, Chaemin still in my arms. I sat him down and called Jaehyun over, as he still awkwardly stood by the door.

We all sat, Chaemin in the middle. I breathed in.

“Chaemin, baby, remember daddy,” I said.

“Yes! Is he finally coming home!” he said excitedly.

My heart ached, and I know so did Jaehyun's. I could see it in the way he looked at Chaemin.

“About that, you see… Mommy lied.”

“Lie? But mommy you said lying is bad.”

I felt tears threatening to come down again. “Yes, mommy is bad isn’t she…”

“What! NO! My mommy is the best in the ENTIRE WORLD! She feeds me, buys me cool stuff, and loves me!”

I pulled him into a hug, he really has a big heart. I wonder where he got it from…

“Thank you baby, but you see the truth is… Mommy left daddy.”

“Why?” he asked.

“Because mommy thought daddy did some bad things, but daddy told mommy he didn’t and that he wanted to see Chaemin,” I explained, making it understandable for a 3 year old to understand.

“Really! Daddy wants to see me!” he said, excitedly.

“Yes, my baby. Do you want to see him too?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” he said, jumping up and down on the couch.

I laughed, it warmed my heart seeing how excited he was to meet his father. I gestured to Jaehyun, giving him the okay to finally speak.

“Hi, Chaemin,” he spoke.

Chaemin stopped jumping, giving him a confused look.

“Hello mister.”

“Chaemin, this is your dad,” I said.

Chaemin looked at me and then at Jaehyun. He wasted no time, jumping on Jaehyun. He embraced him in a hug, in which Jaehyun returned. Father and son reunited. A tear escaped my right eye, the sight of them warmed me.

“Daddy! Daddy! Are you really my daddy!”

“Yes, my baby. I’m sorry daddy’s late,” Jaehyun looked at him, his eyes watering.

“It’s okay! Chaemin knew one day you would come.”

“So you love daddy more than mommy now?” I chimed in, trying to lighten the mood.

They both looked at me. Chaemin let go of Jaehyun, running to me.

“No mommy! Chaemin loves BOTH!”

I laughed, “Alright, alright and we both love you.” I kissed Chaemin’s cheek.

The rest of the day up until the night was spent with all three of us in each other's company. We laughed, talked, and played. Jaehyun even stayed for dinner, after Chaemin insisted he should. All of that must’ve tired him out as Chaemin fell asleep peacefully in his fathers arms.

“Ah, sorry about that, you can just give him to me i-”

“It’s fine i’ll put him to bed, where’s his room?” Jaehyun insisted.

I guided him into Chaemin’s room, placing him on his bed. I crouched down whispering, “Good Night.” Jaehyun did the same. We both kissed the sleeping Chaemin and soon exited his room.

Now it was just us two.

“Jaehyun,” I called out.

He stopped turning to face me.

“Yes?”

“How do you want to do this… you know, seeing Chaemin.”

“Ah, why don’t we go sit down,” he said, walking over to the couch.

“I won't pressure you into anything Y/N, the decision is yours,” he said.

“How about you have him for 3 days a week, the other 4 with me. Unless you're busy, you know with the whole CEO thing.”

“No, no that’s fine, like I said I’ll respect your decision.”

“Nice, then… It's settled. I’ll drop him off tomorrow, if you want.”

He nodded and we later exchanged contact information. We’ve been working together for a month now and we have yet to share our contacts with one another.

“You're going to work tomorrow?” he asked, before leaving.

“Can I have tomorrow off too? If that’s fine with you boss.” He softly chuckled, “Okay. Then I'll send over my address so you can drop off the little one. Feel free to come at any time. I’ll be waiting for you two.”

“Okay Jaehyun, drive back safely.”

“Bye Y/N,” he bidded.

He left, walking to his car, but suddenly came to a halt. He turned around, walking back and pulling me into a hug. I was sure you could hear the beating of my heart and see how red my face was. ‘Why so suddenly?’ This wasn’t like earlier when we were at the cafe.

“Thank you,” he whispered, pulling away soon after. He didn’t even give me a chance to talk, as he began walking back to his car.

I watched as his car left my driveway, picking up my arm, giving him a small wave goodbye. He noticed, using one hand to wave back.

Today was quite the day. The most eventful it’s been since I had Chaemin. But I felt a sense of relief, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. There would be no more lies between any of us anymore.

✧˚ · .

I headed off to bed, staring at my ceiling. I replayed the events in the cafe over and over. I still couldn’t believe it, Jaehyun never cheated on me. No matter how many times I lied to myself, as a means to forget him I couldn’t. Deep down, buried somewhere deep was my love for you. I still loved Jaehyun. I always did, but I always tried to desperately deny the reality. ‘Maybe giving him a second chance isn’t so bad,’ I thought and slowly drifted off to sleep.

✧˚ · .

I got Chaemin ready, ready to spend the next 3 days with his father. He has been beyond excited ever since I told him. Yeah, I'll miss him but I was also happy for him. This was his dream. I grabbed enough clothes and whatever other necessities he needed so he can spend the next 3 days comfortably. Then we were soon off to Jaehyun’s.

When I pulled up I was lost beyond words. Jaehyun lived in a big home, not some grand mansion, but a comfortable and modern looking home fit for a family. Then I remembered he’s practically the only person living in the house. It was like he was looking out the window, since he woke up because he was out standing in front of his door as we pulled up. I parked and exited my car, he came up to me.

“Can you help me take him out?” I asked, as I grabbed his luggage. He walked over to Chaemin, taking him out of his carseat. I heard a “Daddy!” as Jaehyun took Chaemin into his arms.

“He’s been very excited ever since I told him,” I told Jaehyun.

“Have you?” he asked Chaemin.

“Yes! I get to stay with daddy for the first time ever!” Jaehyun smiled, displaying his dimples.

“Here are his things, should be enough to last 3 days,” I told Jaehyun, handing him the luggage.

“Ah, do you want to come in?” he asked, hesitating a bit.

“Uhm, sure if you don’t mind,” I said.

We all then made our way inside his home. Upon inspection it was minimalistic, fit for Jaehyun who lived by himself. It was very clean and smelled like him. It brought me back to when we used to live in that apartment complex together.

“Make yourself at home,” he said, placing Chaemin down before walking away.

I awkwardly sat down at his couch, while Chaemin ran around, exploring the place. “Woah! What is that daddy!” Chaemin asked.

I turned around, seeing Jaehyun coming back with a bouquet of my favorite flowers. My heart fluttered. He still remembered. He shyly stood in front of me saying, “I bought these for you, your favorites. A gift from me. I guess you can call it a trying to win you back type of gift.” I laughed, “Thank you Jae.”

His nickname, the one he loved me saying so much, came out after all these years. I can see it in his face how happy he was to hear it again.

“Jaehyun,” I said.

“Yes.”

“Just for the record, I want to let you know that I want to start over with you. Whatever happened, let’s put it behind us. I want to make this work again and I’m not just saying this for Chaemin's sake. I truly wish to love you again.”

He sat down, taking my hands into his. He stared at my eyes, not taking them off. “I told you Y/N i’ll wait no matter how long it takes, no matter how many dates, gifts, or wooing I have to do to get you back, I’ll be patient,” he said.

I smiled for the first time since I’ve seen him. Mouthing a “Thank you” to him.

✧˚ · .

I wasn’t there for much longer, I still had some business to attend to. Meeting Soyoung. It only felt right telling her everything that had been going on, no matter how she’d take it.

I drove to my favorite sushi restaurant where I told her to meet me at. When I arrived she was there waiting for me. She saw me, waving at me. I walked over sitting next to her.

“You got here quickly,” she said, as I took off my cardigan.

“I wasn’t far,” I said.

“Where were you?” she asked.

It was time.

“Soyoung,” I said.

“Yeah Y/N? What’s wrong?

“I- The truth is Jaehyun knows, he knows about Chaemin.”

She didn’t say anything. I looked over to see her, her eyes had flames in them. She was enraged. If we weren’t at a restaurant she sure would’ve let out every profanity possible.

“I didn’t expect him nor wanted him to find out, but that night I got really drunk and he drove me home where to his surprise saw some little boy in my home,” I explained. “Then the next day he called me to talk, I ended up confessing everything to him, the truth.”

“So? What’d he say?” she said, looking to have calmed down a bit more.

“He was happy, surprised, shocked, and confused. When I told him why I never told him I was pregnant, he confessed everything about that night.”

“WHAT! Shut up.” “Yeah, I look like a real fool now.”

“A fool? Why do you say that?”

I clenched my fist saying, “Because he never cheated on me. He said that night Mark and Jungwoo invited him for drinks, but he got black out drunk, he doesn’t even recall anything from after he passed out.”

“So that means Taeyong…”

“Yes, Taeyong, I, and everyone we all misunderstood.”

I felt her hand rubbing my back. “So now what? You forgave him?”

“No, I'm giving him a second chance. I told him I wanted to start over, but not because of Chaemin. I want to love him again,” I confessed to Soyoung, wary of how she’ll respond.

She sighed, “If that’s what you truly want then I’ll still support you. I’m glad you didn’t forgive him so easily, but Y/N… please, please, please don’t let him hurt you again.”

I gave her a soft smile, “I know. Thank you Soo, thank you. I love you so much.” I hugged her, she hugged me, and we hugged each other in that sushi restaurant.

Once the talk was over, we finally ordered our food. We ate while gossiping, laughing, and teasing. One down, three more to go.

✧˚ · .

I still needed to talk to my family about the whole Jaehyun situation, but I also needed to return to work. I was glad Soyoung understood and supported me, but also didn’t cause a scene at the restaurant.

I arrived to work on time, it felt great to be back. As I got out the elevator my phone pinged. A message.

Jaehyun: I won’t be there today

Jaehyun: I’m going to spend some father-son time with the little one

Jaehyun: Is it fine if I take him to the aquarium?

I smiled, how sweet of him.

Me: Yeah just be careful he can get overly excited sometimes.

Me: Have fun :)

Jaehyun: I’ll send you pictures!

Me: How kind of you, haha

Me: Also is it fine if I get off work early?

Jaehyun: Sure, what time?

Me: 5, seem okay?

Jaehyun: Fine by me

Me: Thanks jae. Tell my baby to have fun

Jaehyun: Sure thing now get to work Ms. Lee

Ha, he was the one who messaged me first. I placed my phone down, getting to my work. 10 hours to do work, here I come.

Lunchtime was approaching and a knock was heard from my door. It must’ve been Johnny, he was the only one here after all.

“Yes?” I said.

He opened the door, giving a soft expression. “Your back,” he said.

“I am, missed me?”

“Oh yes, I was left all alone for two days! You and Jaehyun really betrayed me,” he said dramatically.

“We had our reasons.”

“Lunch?” he asked.

I nodded, getting up from my desk chair. We were off to the Cafeteria. I got a sense of deja vu, him paying for our lunches and us talking casually with one another.

“So Chaemin…” he said.

“You know too,” I asked.

“Yeah, that night he told me you had a child and last night I went over to his home and he was there,” Johnny said.

“You went over?”

“Yeah, just to check up on Jaehyun since he hadn’t been coming.”

“I see… well I’m guessing Jaehyun told you everything.”

“Yes, I was shocked at first. He even told me about that night,” he said as he looked me straight in the eyes. “Look Y/N that night Jaehyun was drunk, I had to drag him out of there for fuck’s sake. It was torture. So don’t worry about it too much, Jaehyun would’ve never done such a thing. He has and will always love you. You're the only woman for that best friend of mine.”

I never knew Johnny would give me such a pep talk. It was comforting though.

“I know, which is why I’ll give him a second chance. A new beginning. Don’t tell Jaehyun, but I too still love him no matter how much I tried hating him I couldn't. That love we built, I couldn’t throw it away to be honest,” I confessed. That was something only I knew, I never told anyone, not even Soyoung.

Johnny softly chuckled, “Well then, Good luck to both of you”

“Thanks, I'll need it.” I said before continuing eating.

We ate and chatted some more. Then finally heading off to finish our work. As the clock approached 5, I gathered all my things, ready to clock out. Ready for the final talk.

✧˚ · .

The drive wasn’t long, my work was actually closer to their home. I’d messaged the family group chat, warning them that I wanted to meet them all at around 5:30-ish. When I pulled up into the driveway, Taeyong’s car was already there and so was my parents' car.

I knocked on the door, being greeted by Taeyong.

“Long time no see sis,” he said, embracing me into a hug.

“I could say the same about you, you’re always busy and never around.”

“What can I say, being a full time choreographer, has me going places,” he says, shrugging.

I roll my eyes, making my way to the living room.

“Mom?” I yelled.

“In the kitchen,” she yelled back. I made my way there.

“Cooking?” I asked.

“Yeah, thought we’d have dinner together.”

“Sounds good, can’t wait.”

“Y/N!” yelled taeyong. I made my way to where he was sitting on the couch. “What can I do for you,” I said, sitting down next to him.

“How’s the little champ?”

“Chaemin’s fine, he can’t stop talking about missing you.”

“Really!” Taeyong’s face lightened up.

“No, I doubt he remembers his uncle,” I said laughing.

“Ha, ha, ha very funny,” he said sarcastically.

“You should stop by more often.”

“I’ll try, but I have to go to Japan next week.”

We talked more and more. Siblings catching up with one another.

“Dinner's ready,” yelled mother.

We got up, walking to the table.

“Where’s dad?” I asked.

“In the back, can you go get him Taeyong?” asked mother. With Taeyong gone, it was just us two. “I’m guessing you’re here to talk to us about Jaehyun?”

Mothers’ intuition.

“Yeah, but once we’re done eating.”

Dad and Taeyong came back. We all sat down, enjoying the delicious food mother cooked for us. We chatted, laughed, and joked. It brought me back to the times when I was a child, when it was just us.

When we finished, I helped mother clean up. I braced myself for what was to come. How would they react? Would they understand?

“We’re back,” my mother announced, when we made our way to the living room where they both were.

“I have something I want to tell you all,” I said, sitting down.

“I’m getting a sense of deja vu,” Taeyong said.

I softly chuckled. “Well, where do I even start… First off, Jaehyun knows about Chaemin.”

Taeyong’s eyes widened, “WHAT! How?”

“Long story short, I got a job, but to my surprise he was the CEO of that company. I worked for him for about a month, until he found out. That night we went out for drinks with a co-worker and I had too many to drink. He took me home, where he saw mom and Chaemin. The next day he called me to go meet him, that was when I confessed everything. We also talked about that night. So then I took him to meet Chaemin, Chaemin was beyond ecstatic to have finally met his father. Then me and Jaehyun agreed on having Chaemin spend 3 days at Jaehyun's, which is why he isn’t here today.”

“What did he say about that night?” Taeyong asked.

“Well for starters you misunderstood. He was black-out drunk. He didn’t even recall anything after he arrived. The guy who picked him up that night even told me, confirming things.”

“So what now? You’re forgiving him,” Taeyong said, questioning again.

“Something like that, I'm giving him a second chance.”

Mother finally said something, sighing “If that’s what you want, just don’t let him hurt you again.”

“That’s what Soyoung told me too.”

I looked over to my father, trying to read the emotions on his face. “As much as I still want him to rot in hell for putting you through all that pain, I know you wouldn’t like that. Like your mother said Y/N don’t get hurt a second time, you’re our one and only daughter–our baby–who we want nothing more than to live a happy healthy life.”

I don’t know when the tears started coming out, but they were. They weren’t sad tears, but happy ones. I was happy at how much they cared about me, wanting nothing more but for me to be happy and loved.

✧˚ · .

I left my parents’ home along with Taeyong. He said he needed to go so he could pack for his Japan trip next week. Before I got into my car he called me.

“Y/N, about earlier… I’m sorry that night I should’ve verified it myself, gone up to him-” he said, before I cut him off. “It’s fine, we can’t regret it now, it’s too late. And also don’t blame yourself, okay!”

He smiled saying, “Drive back safely little sis, I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said, waving goodbye with a smile plastered on my face.

I drove off to Jaehyun’s. It was time to pick up Chaemin.

I pulled into his driveway, parking and walking to his front door. I couldn’t wait to hear Chaemin talking about his day at the aquarium.

I rang his doorbell. The door swings open, Jaehyun standing in front of me.

“Hey!?” He looked surprised to see me.

“Hey to you as well,” I said. “Where’s the little one?” I ask, making my way inside.

“He’s playing up in his room.”

“His room?!”

“Yeah, I arranged one for him before he came.”

“Thank you Jae,” I said smiling. He really was a good father already.

We walked to Chaemin’s room upstairs, and he opened the door for me.

“Look who’s here Chaemin,” Jaehyun said. Chaemin turned around seeing me. “Mommy!” he yells running to me.

I got down to his level, bringing him into my arms. “How was your time with dad?”

“FUN! I saw sharks, penguins, and a bunch of fishes. Daddy even bought me a whale stuffie,” he said, going over to get his whale plushie. He handed it over to me.

“You sure had fun.” I smiled, happy that he enjoyed his date with his father.

We ended up playing with Chaemin before it was time to leave. “It’s time to go baby, it’s getting dark.” He looked saddened, he didn’t want to leave yet.

“It’s okay you’ll see daddy soon,” I said, trying to cheer him up. He understood, letting me take him. Soon all three of us made our way out the door. I put Chaemin in his car seat, strapping him in. Jaehyun watched. “See you soon little man,” he said, patting Chaemin’s head.

“Bye daddy! I had fun!” Chaemin said brightly. Giving Jaehyun a dimpled smile. Jaehyun shut his door, running along to the driver’s side, opening the door for me. “How gentlemen-like of you,” I said.

He gave a slight smile. As I was going in, he grabbed my wrist making me turn around. “Something wrong?”

“Can I take you out tomorrow?” he asked, his ears turning red. Cute. 

“You mean like on a date? Just the two of us?” I questioned.

“Yes, if you don’t mind…”

I smiled widely, “I’d love to.”

He smiled, “I’ll come pick you up tomorrow then at 12. I’ll even ask Johnny to take care of the little one.”

“Sounds good, see you tomorrow. Night Jae.”

“Sleep well Y/N and drive back safely,” he said.

I slipped into the vehicle and he closed the door for me. He waved goodbye as I backed away, leaving. Another eventful, but good day. We returned back home and got ready for bed. As I was about to slip under my covers my phone pinged.

Jaehyun: [ 10+ images ]

Jaehyun: I still owed you your pictures

Jaehyun: Good night Y/N

I opened them, seeing them all. Pictures of Chaemin looking so happy and some he took with his dad. I saved them all.

Me: Good night Jae

✧˚ · .

Perhaps I was too excited that I woke up at the crack of dawn. I still couldn’t believe it, my first–but not so first–date with Jaehyun. He hadn’t informed me of where he’d take me, but nevertheless I was still looking forward to it.

I got ready, slipping into a sundress and some ballet flats. It felt so exciting getting ready for a date, I felt like a teenager again. As I grabbed my bag, the doorbell rang. I ran towards the door, opening it.

A bouquet of beautiful iris flowers shoved right in front of me. Behind them, Jaehyun.

“Is my lady ready?” he asked, handing me the flowers.

“She is.”

“You sure are a hopeless romantic,” a voice said. I was too distracted to notice Johnny’s figure beside him.

“Oh! Johnny.”

“Hi, Y/N your babysitter is here,” he said, raising one hand. I giggled, telling them to come in. “Chaemin is in his room, it’s the door to the left.” They walked to see the little one, while I put the flowers in a vase. My second bouquet of flowers from him. This date was already off to a good start.

All 3 boys came out, Chaemin in Jaehyun’s arms. “Mommy and Daddy are going to be gone for a while so be a good boy to uncle Johnny, okay?” I told Chaemin.

“Yes mommy,” he said as Jaehyun passed him to Johnny. Then me and Jaehyun made our way to the front door, ready to leave.

“Call me if anything Johnny,” I told him.

“Will do ma’am.”

Jaehyun opened the door, guiding me outside. He then went over to the passenger seat of his car, opening the door. “Thank you,” I say going in. He made his way to the drivers side, joining me inside. Johnny and Chaemin waved us off and off we went to our date.

The car ride was silent, but there was no awkwardness. In all honesty I was nervous that I couldn’t think of what to say.

It was then when he broke the silence, “We’re here.”

I looked to see where we were. We were outside an art gallery, To Dream Arts.

I turned to look at him, happiness visible on my face. “So you do like it?” he asked.

“Of course! This is one I've always wanted to visit,” I said. “You remembered,” I say almost in a whisper.

I loved art galleries and so did Jaehyun. I remember we visited some when we dated, but my dream was to visit this specific one. I could never go though, because you had to make reservations for this place, and unfortunately it was always booked. I’m beyond happy he took me here today.

As we exited the car, I stood beside him. I fought with the urge to hold his hand. When we entered it was like we were in Europe. The inside was just so beautiful, so majestic. We went everywhere, exploring everywhere. The paintings, sculptures, artifacts. I was so excited, I failed to notice when Jaehyun grabbed my hand. Our fingers intertwined with one another. I looked over to him, not saying a word, but seeing the hint of red on his ears. We continued like that, until there was no more to look at.

“That was fun!” I say, happily as we made our way to his car.

“Glad you enjoyed it. How about we get something to eat?” he asks.

“Yes! I’m starving.”

He chuckled, leading me to the passenger seat. Soon driving off, I’d expected some fancy food at some fancy restaurant, but no. We instead arriving at a local diner. I was actually relieved, this type of food is better than some small fancy portion of overpriced food.

We made our way inside, settling in the booth located at the end. We sat facing each other. The waiter came by taking our orders. The food arrived in no time and we dug in. They say food tastes better when you’re eating with others, it must be true because the food tasted better as I ate with him.

Jaehyun paid and we soon left once we finished eating. This truly was the best day. The best date I've had in a while.

As we drove back he asked, “Did you enjoy today?”

“I did, very much. Thank you,” I said, glancing over at him.

He glanced at me as well, smiling. “I’m glad,” he said, turning his head back to the road.

That night as he drove, I noticed the dark night sky, the stars that shone above, and the wind that blew. It was too perfect, today was a day to remember.

✧˚ · .

The past 4 months have been the best ever. Ever since our first date, Jae and I have gone on many more, going to a different place each time. He’s even gotten me more gifts and no matter how much I insist he shouldn’t, he still does. Though as time passed, Chaemin’s birthday approached. In fact, it was tomorrow. I was saddened, my little boy is turning 4. Time sure flies. I informed Jaehyun, my family, and Soyoung to come over tomorrow so we can throw him a small party. Unfortunately, Soyoung was unable to make it, as she’s off on a business trip and so is Taeyong. Meaning it’d just be Jaehyun and my parents. It was still going to be nice, though I'll make sure of it.

It was around 8 in the morning and I finished making Chaemin his annual birthday breakfast. I headed off to his room, tray in hand. I flicked his lights on. “Happy birthday to you,” I sang. He looked up, his eyes adjusting to the light.

I go over placing the tray down. I pulled him into a hug saying, “Happy birthday my sweet boy.”

“Omg! It’s my birthday!” he exclaimed, excitedly.

“It sure is. Here I made you your special breakfast,” I said, handing him the tray.

He began eating, not missing a single crumb. I let him eat as I went to finish setting up the decorations. As I was about to hang the banner, the doorbell rang. I walked over to open it, seeing Jaehyun. He sure was here early.

“What a pleasant surprise, Mr. Jeong,” I teased.

“Where’s the birthday boy?” he asked.

“In his room.”

He then hurried off quickly, wanting nothing more than to get there quickly. As he left, I went back to my decorating. “Jae!” I called.

His footsteps approaching, “Yeah?”

“Can you help me with the banner?” I asked.

“Sure thing,” he said, putting it up ease. “There we go.”

“Thank you.”

He gave me a smile, returning back to Chaemin. I finished with the rest of the decorations and went to see them. As I went in, Jaehyun had finished dressing Chaemin up.

“Thank you for that,” I told him.

“Thought I’d help you out since you were, you know,” he said.

“Baby, come with mommy. Mommy has a surprise!” I told Chaemin, taking him into my arms. “Okay, close your eyes.” Chaemin closed his eyes shut. “Open,” I say.

“WOW!” he said. I placed him down, he began running around taking in everything. I watched fondly as the now 4-year old ran throughout our home.

“Stand there, Chaemin,” I asked him, as he stood below the birthday banner Jaehyun hung up earlier.

I snapped a picture and at that moment the doorbell rang again. Must be my parents. Before I could go open it, Jaehyun had already gone in my stead.

“Oh Jaehyun, what a surprise,” I heard my mother say.

“Hello Mrs. Lee and Mr. Lee,” Jaehyun said.

They came inside, meeting me and Chaemin near the table. “Grandma! Grandpa!” he yelled, running to his grandparents.

“Happy birthday Chaemin!” said my mother and then my father.

I then went over to greet them, hugging them both. I could sense a feel of awkwardness in the air., hoping it'll clear up soon.

Luckily it did. It took a while, but my dad and Jaehyun seemed to be conversing well with one another. My mother joined me in the kitchen as we both got the food ready.

“They’re getting along,” she said.

“Thankfully,” I say. “I know it must be hard for all of you, but I know you’ll come around.”

We finished, calling everyone to the table. We ate with each other's presence. We talked and laughed. It felt normal. Like we were one big ol-family.

After we ate I brought out the cake, candles lit. “Happy birthday to you,” I sang as I walked over to place the cake in front of Chaemin. We sang him happy birthday. “Make a wish,” I say. He closed his eyes, making his wish. I hope it comes true. We then cut the cake, each eating a slice. Afterwards, me and my mother cleaned up while Jaehyun and my father played with Chaemin. Not long after Jaehyun came in with Chaemin in his arms.

“Birthday boy is asleep,” he said.

I make my way to him. Caressing Chaemin’s hair. “Good night my baby,” I say.

Jaehyun then walked over to Chaemin’s room placing him in his bed. “Well then I guess it’s time for us to leave, right honey?” my mother said. My father nodding at her statement.

I walked over with them to the front door. “Thank you for coming, it sure made Chaemin happy,” I told them.

“Anything for the little one,” my mother replied. “Take care darling and you too Jaehyun.”

I failed to notice as Jaehyun stood behind me. “Thank you Mrs. Lee, yourself as well. Nice talking with you too Mr. Lee,” he said.

“Goodbye you two,” my mother said, with my father beind her, waving goodbye.

We watched as they left inside their car, pulling out from my driveway. Once they were out of sight, I closed the door. I turned around, Jaehyun still behind me. He got closer looking at me deeply, only centimeters away from me.

“Y/N, can I?” he asked, placing his right hand on my cheek.

I nodded.  I wanted him.

He leaned in, his lips on mine once again. Ah. I really missed this. We melted into each other's touch. Neither of us pulling away. Enjoying this moment, just the two of us.

✧˚ · .

After the kiss, me and Jaehyun grew closer. Often sneaking a couple more behind closed doors. It never escalated to anything more though. Jaehyun respected me and my boundaries. 

On another note, today is another of many dates I'll be going on. Jaehyun called me up last night telling me he’d take me out again today. I got ready putting on a white sundress, the summer heat was beginning to arrive. As I went to put on my shoes my phones rang.

Jae 🤍, read the caller ID

“Hello?” I said.

“Are you ready yet?” he asked.

“Yeah, putting on my shoes. Where are you?”

“Outside your house.”

I opened the door, seeing his car parked in my driveway. I hung up, walking to his car. He got out, embracing me into a hug. Good thing Chaemin stayed over at his grandparents.

“Let’s go,” he asked. I smile, nodding. As always he opened the passenger door for me.

Our dates were always unpredictable, I never knew where we’d go to next. This time though, we must’ve driven for an hour now, before finally arriving. We were at a park, a park all too familiar. This was the same park where we had our first ever date. Jaehyun has stellar memory; always remembering such things years later.

“Ja-” I was about to say his name before he cut me off.

“You remember? This is where I took you during our first ever date,” he said.

“Yeah, it sure is.”

“Shall we?” he asked.

“And what exactly are we going to do,” I say, curiously.

“A picnic,” he answered.

We then got out of the car and he went to take out a basket, we really were having a picnic. He grabbed my hand as we walked, picking a spot under a tree. I admired the park as Jaehyun set the mat down. This park was so breathtaking. The grass was green and wellkept, big trees that moved along as the wind blew, and a crystal clear pond.

“Here, have a seat,” he said, patting the spot next to his. I sat down, looking at him as he took the food and wine out of the basket.

“Wine so early?” I say.

He chuckled, “Yeah, I suppose so.” We ate the food he’d prepared and drank wine, talking about everything and anything. I couldn’t be any happier.

“Y/N,” Jaehyun said softly. I looked at him, his expression soft, calm, delicate. “Yes?” I replied.

“Thank you,” he says.

“For what?” I say, confused.

“Everything. For coming back, for giving me a second chance, for giving birth and raising my child, the list goes on,” he says, never taking his eyes off mine. “Not to mention these past months have been the best my life has ever been since 3 years ago and to that I thank you as well.”

He then took my hands in his, “Y/N I love you, I always have. You’re the only person in this world I want. I truly believe you’re my soulmate, the person I'm meant to be by until I’m gray and old. There is no one other than you Y/N, no matter how long it’s been I still want you.”

“I want you too jae,” I say, with watery eyes. “I love you so much Jaehyun no matter how long it’s been, no matter how hard I tried hating you. I love you, all of you.”

His eyes begin to water as well. “Y/N, please be mine again, my girlfriend, my wife.”

My wife. I nod frantically as my tears spill. I jumped on him, embracing him into a hug. I incoherently repeat “I love you” to him. I pulled away, attaching my lips to his. He returned the kiss back, kissing me deeply. This kiss was different, it was filled with love, want, need.

I was the first to pull away, looking into his chocolate-like eyes. “You’re beautiful,” he says. I felt my face heat up at his sudden comment.

“I love you Y/N, now and evermore,” he says.

“I love you too, more than words can ever describe,” I say, kissing him once more.

Day after day, I'll spend my time loving him, Jaehyun. I’ll build a new future with him, with one another by each other’s side. Myself, Jaehyun, and Chaemin.

Epilogue

2 1/2 years later

“Honey!” I called out.

“Yeah, what’s wrong,” he says, rushing inside our shared bedroom.

“Can you bring me some fruit,” I say with pleading eyes.

He sighs, “Cravings?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, I’ll be back,” he says, placing a hand over my stomach.

I’m currently 7 months pregnant with a baby girl. I still remember the day I told Jaehyun the news, he wouldn’t stop smiling for the entire day. The same could be said for Chaemin, he’d been wanting a sibling for the longest time and at last it finally arrived.

The past years have gone by in a flash, I still couldn’t believe me and Jaehyun got married just around 2 years ago. It really feels like it was just yesterday when I was walking down the aisle, in my fathers hands, off to be wedded to the love of my life.

“Mom!” Chaemin yells, as he enters the room.

I can’t believe my little boy is now 6 years old. “Yes?” I ask.

“Where’s dad?”

“He should be in the kitchen, why?”

“Thank you,” he says, running off. He didn’t even answer my ‘why?’ how sad.

Minutes fly by and still no fruit. I debated whether to go down there and find out what was taking so long, but before I could Jaehyun entered, fruits in hand. My eyes lightened up, drool practically coming out of the corner of my mouth. I waste no time eating it as he hands it to me.

“Easy there now, you’ll choke my love,” he says. Since he found out I was pregnant, Jaehyun has became very protective worring over the littlest things.

“It’s fine,” I say, eating more.

“You’ve grown a lot,” he says, placing a hand on my belly.

“You don’t like it?” I say worriedly.

“What? No, no, no why wouldn’t I?” he asks.

“I don't know.”

“Y/N this honestly turns me on, seeing you carry my child in front of my eyes makes me so happy and horny,” he says, mumbling the last word.

I slap his chest, “Don’t say things like that.” I’m sure by now my face was red as a tomato.

“But love you like it when I say things like that, it turns you on, doesn’t it?”

“Jaehyun!”

He laughs, “I’m sorry. I love you,” he says, kissing my temple. I pout, continuing eating my fruit.

“I can’t wait to fuck you again,” he says, eyeing my chest.

“This again,” I say.

“Sorry, I'll stop now only if you give me a kiss.”

I roll my eyes, placing the plate to my side. I leaned in, kissing him in which he returned, deepening the kiss.

“My everything is all yours.”

© jhdyuiee

2024.01.07

final a.n: it’s finally done! my real (?) fic, this started towrds the end of november all the way til now. i stayed up countless nights writing & editing, overall satified with the end result. i hope to all my readers that you enjoy it & if its too long then i apologize i guess i got a little carried away (T-T). though some big news is i’m working on another fanfic as we speak, hint: doyoung x reader x jaehyun & will definitely have smut 🤫… if you have any concerns, feedback or members you’d like me to write about pls let me know. i love u all - jiji 🤍

#jeong jaehyun #jaehyun #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun x y/n #jaehyun jeong #jung jaehyun #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun angst #boyfriend jaehyun #nct fluff #nct x reader #nct 127 #nct dojaejung #nct fanfic #nct #kpop #kpop fic #kpop fanfic

[xxxjarchiexxx]

i call the unemployment office. i am on hold for an hour before i hang up. i go to their website. their website says to call during non-peak hours and list times. i call at non-peak hours. i am on hold until the office closes and they kick me off the phone. if i dont get a human on the phone i lose 1400 dollars. i have been on hold with unemployment including both this time and the initial times for filing unemployment when their website was broken a total of 5 hours, as long or longer than i have spent in interviews in 2 months. since november started i have applied to 45 jobs on indeed, 87 jobs on linkedin, and 94 on ziprecruiter. that is 226 job applications in 2 weeks. i have had 0 interviews this month. i have been qualified perfectly or overqualified for at least half if not more of these jobs. i have years of experience and glowing references and a degree and my resume has been reviewed three times by multiple job contacts i have as a good resume. i have applied for somewhere around 800 jobs since i got laid off. i have had maybe 6 interviews total. i use the harvard formatting for tech resumes and have everyone in my network sending it to people and am networking on linkedin and have a good linkedin resume and even had premium at first to get tips on writing my profile well. i am still on hold with unemployment. i have received 0 deposits into my account. i have filed perfectly for a month and filed for backpay perfectly and got approved. they closed and hung up on the hold music. none of these numbers account for jobs i have applied to directly not via a job recruitment site. i have 3 years of experience and low pay expectations and a good resume and i will kill again