#not to vent a little in my own tags but

[betta-every-day]

Prepared for a summer full of projects!

#honestly i didnt know what to caption this lmao #im staying in Rochester over the summer with my uni fellowship #and im really trying to load myself up on things to do #im grateful #and excited!! #not to vent a little in my own tags but #as much as this satisfied me #seeing how far ive come and doing what I love #I really wish someone else would at least feign interest in it too #is that too much? #im not close to too many people #and the lack of enthusiam from specific important people (person) keeps giving me these empty pangs #not that anyone else needs to or is obligated to care about my life #...but it would be nice to feel a part of something #if that makes sense #and the lonely summer has only just started :') #(probably will delete later and repost without tags but it makes me feel slightly better having it out there ig) #academia #sorry for a novella in the tags

[devildom-moss]

I'm alive (light-heartedly). Thank y'all for being so patient with me. I have been having some trouble writing requests for a bit, and I've been a little worn out.

I'm going to just focus on the poll fic for this weekend and try to get other stuff done next month. It's been hard for me to actually get started, but I'm enjoying the process with this one, so hopefully you all will like the NSFW Beel x Diavolo x MC content I'll have for you, some time on the 31st (I hope).

#moss update #also if I can elaborate a little #warning: venting in the tags #but I did kinda pop off with it so maybe give it a read? #I feel a bit disconnected with my words as of late. I can write something but it's hard to tell if it sounds like my other writing #I feel like I've taken my usual voice picked it up and just sort of dropped it in an adjacent location #I can see how I would usually write but it's more like I'm trying to mimic the usual narrative path in real time instead of creating it #like tracing the veins of some familiar creature #and trying to follow the pulsing of blood so I can use its rhythm in my own Frankenstein-ian creature. #It's awkwardly intimate but my hands are doomed to the work of piecing something together. #I happily crazily do it #knowing that I crave it so intensely that it must be done at any means. #Even if it involves this self-conscience feeling of self-mimicry. #How else can I get back to my sense of voice if not to relearn it all over again?

[tomboyyyaoi]

catboy?

#this is smth abt struggling in communities (online and real life) that always value skinnier smaller bodies over ur own #online communities like queer spaces anime fandoms and fashion hold skinny adrogynous (white!!) bodies on a much higher pedestal #its easy to feel outcast and ugly in spaces that will actively ignore ur body type at best and put u down or insult u at worst #its hard to be fat and confident in a world where fatphobia exists #its hard to not wish u were skinny in spaced where that seems to be the only body type that recieves praise/compliments/attention #i hesitate to call this vent art its more just a little bit of love for my body in a time where im struggling with it #those are even my (poorly drawn) tattoos #soooo uh yea ok this was mainly a warmup to loosen my drawing muscles #okokok im done rambling in tags #my silly art #kemonomimi #catboy #catgirl #trans #genderqueer #nonbinary #genderfluid

[lesbianfakir]

Ok genuine question is it normal to be expected to hide/lie about your mental illness symptoms to friends? So obviously there’s trauma dumping but this isn’t about that—is it normal to just be expected to pretend you’re happier than you are because if you express that you’re doing bad one too many times people get frustrated that you’re not doing better?

I keep having friendships where I support them through difficult events so I think it’s a safe place but when I start to be honest about my depression they either get frustrated with me (more specifically frustrated that they can’t take my problems away) or distant. I know it’s hard to see a friend in pain but it also sucks to be in a position where you need to be constantly pretending to be silly and happy because that’s what they signed up for. I’m tired of being ‘too much’ for people, you know? I work hard to support my friends through their problems and I’m good at it, but lately I’ve found I just have to deal with everything on my own.

I’m tired of the stigma around mental illness because so much of my life I can’t even talk about for fear of being too depressing. I understand why it is the way that it is but that doesn’t make it any less isolating. It hurts that if I’m having a day where I’m really scared I can’t tell anyone about it because it’ll freak them out and I just have to wait for it to pass when I know just being around another person would help ground me.

Anyways ramble over I genuinely hope this is a problem specific to my situation and you all have people to help you through dark times. I truly hope we’re not all secretly left alone with our demons

#venting to my tumblr blog because I can’t talk to my friends abt this for obvious reasons #I’m in therapy so it’s not a lack of being able to talk about things #it’s the lack of being able to call a friend and say hey I’m really scared can i hang out with you for a little while #lea talks #negative #vent post #lea off topic tag #writing this I feel so evil like of COURSE people don’t want to be around you when you’re not masking you’re so bleak and depressing #but I really do try to prompt my friends into establishing boundaries #but I guess it’s easier to just pull back and be distant than to be honest #im aware of how hard it is to talk to someone who’s depressed im not constantly bitching about depression #im just constantly wrong abour who I can confide in #:/ #being the therapist friend suuuucks because everyone expects you to be there to help with their problems #and have no problems of your own

[toaster-fire-art]

been busy and side tracked with school and work stress and so uuuuuh have a formal/informal introduction to some ocs that I've posted a few things with and other i havent, same story, drawn impulsively after drawing a small pilot comic for one of my classes.

Mini lore dump/general details below the cut if you're interested.

These OCs are part of a different story than the character sheets I created and posted before, who have more or less realtively stayed the same since they were created. Might go a lil insane and create chatater sheets for them, I love to make them to be honest.

Me and @belovedknightdraws created all these characters we were wee lads, like 8 years old and their designs haven't chnaged much aside from some logistics, some name changes, story beats, etc.

The first chunk are the main characters of the story, Viper and Calisto and the three brothers that go by the aliases Red, Fang and Killer. The secnd two are Izzy and Sy, different embodyments/parts of one soul of the same being if you will. Essentially functioning as an ally to the gang and an enemy depending on the context.

In it's simplest explaination I can give without just rambling, the main group are all vampires with different attachments or relationships to their existence as vampires. The girls however are also able to use magic, taught to them by charcters like Izzy and Sy who took them in almost as wards. Izzy is an enigmatic being establishing themselves as a god within their universe and others. Left abandoned after certain tramatic events, the brothers live in isolation before the girls more of less invade their house and decided they would be living there against the brothers' will.

#take this as you will #my art #my ocs #toasterfireart #I love drawing fanart #but I am a little burnt out at the current moment #so may wips but no want to work on them #But I am constantly obsessed with my own characters #oh god the dread of creating oc tags #joint custody oc #callahan brothers #I think that was their family name #red fang and killer #viper and calisto #mini vent I hate my job I want to quit and work on campus instead #life is a lil crazy it's an interesting year #anyways #sorry for the vent #quit your job join my emo band

[inkykeiji]

>.<

#tw clari overshares #i really need to start making new friends on here and being more active #but the issue is just the mere *thought* of that fucking terrifies me #just typing out that single sentence has my heart pounding and my hands shaking and my stomach churning #i really wish i was kidding or over-exaggerating #i want so badly to make new friends and be active in a little community on here again #but i’m so so so scared #(of what?????????? of what!!!!!!!!!!!) #bring me back to 2020 clari who talked to people despite the anxiety and was so damn active and was having an absolute blast!!! #what happened to her!!!!! #she got really sick i guess #it’s crazy like sometimes i just scroll through my archive and i can SEE it #i can see myself getting sicker and sicker and withdrawing more and more #feeding into the fear and letting it win #and now i’m here #in this hole that i’m going to have to claw myself out of IN SPITE OF the terror i feel #i miss being a part of this community so much #i miss being able to post little drabbles willy nilly and not having breakdowns over them not being perfect #NOT obsessing over my own work and flaws it may have #i miss having fun #YES my writing is extremely important to me and YES i want to one day write for a living in some capacity #but since when did that mean i had to cut everyone off??? seclude myself in a protective little bubble??? #the only person who can fix this is me #(obviously hahaha) #it’s about time i put on my big girl pant(ie)s and faced that fear head on #i’m so sick of it dominating and controlling so much of my life #why did i let it take something so fucking important to me??? #i have to end it!!! #if u got this far in the tags: thank you and i’m sorry for venting #i just feel like i NEED to say this

[dullweapons]

uhhh ray in a wheelchair cause i’m thinking about getting one for myself cause my cane is not enough

#⸻ ray : visage ✦ rusted cracked & broken : but still standing ˎˊ˗ #⸻ ooc : artwork ✦ madness takes the paintbrush & sings ˎˊ˗ #uh little vent in tags tw #( i haven’t left my house since my birthday - and before that was only for doctor appointments in months ) #( but i have used the scooter at walmart when i did go out and they made me so happy to be independent) #( as well as the wheelchair in the ER i could move without fear of falling ) #( i really want to go outside so imma see about getting one ?? ) #( probably just a cheap hospital one at a thrift store near me ) #( idk if i wanna bother with in insurance ? ) #( i am trying to get a walker through them and it’s taking forever to the point i need MORE ) #( i am doing physical therapy which helps but also my legs are so weak i can’t even go down my stairs on my own :/ ) #( imma ask my PT therapist and my doctor but who knows ? ) #( anyway vent over enjoy ray being a dumbass )

[thewitchqueenofharrenhal]

This is pure fandom bullshit - so please don’t take it seriously because it doesn’t really matter and people will keep doing it and that’s fine. They’re absolutely allowed too and don’t need my permission in the slightest. (just putting my disclaimer so folks don’t get upset or say I’m starting discourse)

but I find it so insidious when folks are like “Okay yes Young Griff can be real 🫶 but only if he marries Arya Stark because he’s Rhaegar come again & she is Lyanna come again and they will rule together as Lyanna & Rhaegar were meant too 🥺. Bonus points if Young Griff finds Arianne Martell especially disgusting or Elia Sand because you know her name is Elia and that way it can all go full circle with him humiliating a Martell.

Daenerys is right there! Arianne is right there! Margaery Tyrell is right there! Older Shireen! - Hell if it’s gonna be a Stark girl it’ll be Sansa seeing as she doesn’t have the Stark look. Why do y’all want to see Elia of Dorne so humiliated even after death!!!

#i am allowed to vent on my own blog over silly dumb things #this isn’t tagged #either #people are allowed to do what they want and it’s fine #i just find it a little bit annoying

[lynaferns]

I just re-read an old post where I complained about shipping and unacurated caracterizaron in the DCA fandom and I'm like

"of course you are not into this stuff, YOU'RE AROACE DUMBASS"

But I didn't know that when I wrote the post and I don't agree with half of what I said on it anymore.

I have

Matured ✨🦋

#lyna rambles #I was a little harss to when I wrote it‚ but I was frustrated too #because even in my own community I can't enjoy what most people like and that puts on a barrier that prevents me from making friends #I've been working on that‚ learning to worry less about stuff that doesn't affect me in the fandom #but idk #I feel that I'll never get close enough to someone to be friends with #like there's a lot of people that shares interests with me but I don't share interests with barely anyone #whoops vent in the tags sorry

[petiolata]

hi! person u rb'ed the fandom gatekeeping post from. it was very much written with a specific situation in mind: people who haven't engaged with the source material directly (meaning no lets plays, no proper excerpts, nothing) who act as if they have an understanding of said source material. often leading to shit just being completely made up and treated like canon. less "couldnt play the game themselves" and more "is claiming to know all about a book that they admit to never reading". i was venting about people claiming certain things about source material, who then got mad at me for correcting them while admitting they never read the thing in question. i should probably be more specific in how i present personal posts bc i always forget anyone can see them lol

Hey, I appreciate you taking the time to clarify the issue. I'm fortunate to have never come across anyone like that myself.

#asks #op #I find arguments over what is or isn't canon or did X Character really say ___ really unpleasant and try to avoid them all #analyzing the source material and sharing theories/interpretations *should* be fun but a lot of time it's not #IDK. I think it's from ppl imbuing it with more weight than it has? #like if their personal headcanons/wishes are canon it somehow validates than more. So they seek to argue their HCs are canon no matter what #I guess even when they haven't consumed the canon XD #IDK. I def can't explain that part bc I don't understand it at all. I don't have any desire for my ships to be canon and don't care if #the source material backs up my interpretation of characters. #what I want out of a discussion of the source material is like “here's this mini-series analyzed from a Marxist-Leninist perspective” or #“here's the Batfam with their interactions explained by Attachment Theory” whereas what i get instead is #“Canon PROVES Bruce Wayne is a Good Dad who would never hit his kids!” or alternately #“Canon PROVES Bruce Wayne is a horrible father who is incapable of love.” and I'm just like JFC can we lighten up a little people? #Oops. I got my own vent on in the tags here #fandom discourse

[peeledstrawberry]

Younger me would be so freaking happy about how I turned out. I have pink hair and I study psychology. I initiate conversations with strangers and I talk the most in class now. I lived past 15 and I found words that could describe what was wrong with me.

It really got better :0

#tw vent #?? I think? #vent post #I consider this positive tbh #but also #tw sui ideation #tw sui attempt #??? I've never had to tag this before #anywayyys #I was really actively trying to kms back in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL #the intrusive thoughts were winning I genuinely thought my 4th grade teacher wanted me to die #I can't even tell if that was real or if my anxiety was just so high that I thought everyone was out to get me #and boom #look at me now #!!!!! #completely flipped to ''everyone loves me and nothing bad ever happens to me'' #little me would've been so happy #she was an ok kid fr #wish she knew how to asked for help but eyy she survived and now I'm living #YIPPPEEEE #seyaposting #vent #?? again I've never had to tag for my own vent post tbh #lmk if I missed anything #this was meant to be positive but my brain was really doing things back when I was little

[dreamerlynx]

.

#sigh. puts up the barricades please I do not want to see d.nf on my dash #and again I do have it super filtered #I’m just soooo tired every little thing being HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH until the next thing bc of course that didn’t happen #and life went on as usual #look I get it I’m the minority I’m aroace and easily exhausted by shipping esp real ppl shipping #but it’s times like this I miss the lore fandom bc man the complete focus on platonic dynamics and relationships was so nice #look if they ever actually say they’re dating I guess I’ll eat my words but so far I am not getting the sense that that will ever happen #and so it is extremely annoying to want to follow drm fans and get 90% of One Single Ship #and no sap except as third wheel for said ship #sorry I’m the only one who seems to not care abt George 😭😭 not in a bad way just. he’s fine and funny sometimes I guess but #I Just Don’t Care. and also another thing I need to get off my chest #why do ppl act like George is really shady and passive aggressive and ‘oh he should interact w X person who wronged drm he’d ROAST THEM!’ #like huh #George is one of the most Don’t talk about anything be vague be private ppl ever #I’m not saying he hasn’t had his moments of public support for drm but I just don’t get it #(it’s probably because he’s so vague and noncommittal that fans can just project their own feelings onto him) #sigh anyway I’m done that makes me feel better a bit #no tags just venting #<- it’s funny that became my venting tag now that I only vent in tags #bc some things such as this I am afraid to even put under read more lol

[princealberich]

HrrrRRm (minecraft villager noise)

#zchat #hi i wanted to Delve into my thoughts on smth without it being an actual post #so tags it is #(this isnt a vent or anything its moreso just a little retrospective Thinking) #friends being playfully mean to each other is great and cool and i defs do it but Also #i think it goes too far sometimes #and loathe be me to like...idk. i dont ever wanna ASK people to stop #bc if thats how they express friendship then i dont wanna make them uncomfortable or be a bother #but it Definitely affects my self perception #i do see myself as kind of a punching bag and isolated and stuff bc of it #and half of that is my own fault for. uh. hm. idk why. but i know it IS for playing into the role #but delving further into THAT its bc as a little autistic kid that was the only reason people would have me as a friend yk #so i suppose nowadays i still have the mindset of 'if i dont let people be mean to me then i Wont Be Kept Around' #idk . i wish i had the confidence in that area to ask ppl to hold back on being overly mean yk. but how to Do That

[soleadita]

me: makes a silly little teen wolf post on my silly little tiny blog

rabid sc*tt stans i literally have never crossed paths with ever in my entire life: derek hale is the devil incarnate, actually, and here’s why

#might delete this later im just so ??? and needed to vent #like. i understand it’s the public internet but why are you adding comments to a post and arguing with a fucking stranger? #u don’t know me i don’t know u it’s fucking rude??? #JUST. KEEP. SCROLLING. #i'm just sitting here trying to figure out what i did wrong. is it bc i tagged him? is it bc i didn't censor his name IN the post? #do these people just live in the sc*tt tag and argue with everyone who dares to breathe there? #i should’ve known better but it’s 2023 i thought we were fucking over this #and like. i'm also not AGAINST HIM? as a general rule i just think all the characters are a little silly and. that's all i was saying? #the only teen wolf adjacent person you're gonna see me actively disparaging is jeff fucking davis like. COME. ON. #it’s not that big of a deal ig bc block button <3 but i keep getting jumpscared seeing derek slander on my own post :( #btw this is NOT about bestiemutuals lovingly roasting derek in the tags bc lets be real he deserves that <3 #leo.txt #anti scott mccall #(<- again not ACTUALLY but like. just to ward off Those People i guess)

[likeaflamingkiss-consume]

Lol just got my first hate comments, people have no fucking lives I swear

#personal #vent post #like. mind your own damn business while I mind mine #and if you're going to insult me at least do it with proper spelling your grammar is atrocious. or to use your word it's an 'autrosity' #also you're a little late to the party considering the fic you were so horrified by was posted almost a year ago #don't come after me just because you were deep in the tags (and might I ask WHICH tag considering it's only one relationship and it's #tagged properly as incest so how deep were you searching for shit to hate on my dude) and found something you didn't like

[widevibratobitch]

aaaaaaand it's starting. mom's bestie just texted me asking to come over this weekend cause it's Bad and it's probably the last chance to talk and maybe say goodbye to my mom's husband and i need to take care of her. god. i wont get through this weekend unless im high or drunk istg.

#time to slightly overdose my depression meds again ig lol #anyway. it is a little better with me these last two weeks. turns out the meds do work when you actually take em regularly #but first my best friend's break up that she's blowing up to unimaginable size #acting as if she just got divorced with the love of her life after 20 years #and not ended a few months long relationship with a guy who's been the source of most of her troubles since the moment they started dating #(ofc she's valid and id never tell her that because like. i get it. some people feel stuff more deeply. but its hard to be supportive #when you genuinely feel like this is the best possible outcome for her and that the relationship was only dragging her down all this time) #and now this. and this is gonna be infinitely worse. and then it's gonna get a million times worse when he actually does die. #and i feel like the worst most selfish person ever which like. probably am. but i did tell my cousin who actually knows my mom really well #and she said she understands and that my fears ARE valid because SHE'S terrified of how she's gonna handle my mom #and she wouldn't wanna be me in that situation cause it's gonna be so much worse for me lmao #like i feel like people who know my mother casually really dont understand just how unhinged emotionally she is #anyway. i feel so overwhelmed. i cant handle this jesus. #but im also emotionally unavailable and refuse to actually confide in another person because i dont want to be a bother <3333 #god i love tumblr. i can literally type anything in those tags lol it's the perfect form of venting since you can just scroll by #but i will still have let it out of myself anyway uwu i literally dont need that therapy fr #anyway. i feel so unbelievably fucking lonely and on one hand it's my own fault for withdrawing and refusing to ask for help. #but on the other hand. i AM alone. like there's no one who can help me in this particular situation. #i have no siblings. obviously my dad isnt gonna help. it all falls down to me. good god. i wanna throw up.