#now all i gotta do is finish writing it. which is an issue because i have two school assignments due yesterday

[reverie-verse]

Forbidden Attachments- Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Prompt:The reader was in love with Anakin, takes places after ATOC and the beginning of the CW and when Anakin has a padawan. You left the Jedi order because you thought Anakin was in love with Padme. You were in love with Anakin. You take off and live on another planet. Anakin, Ahoska, Obi Wan and Rex make a pit stop on your planet without even realizing it…

This is angst and fluff, I didn’t grammar check it per usual 😭 I gotta stop doing that. Ummmmm I was gonna write a part two that included smut, but then I thought it was too long. Soooo let me know in the comments if I should or not! Thanks, hope you enjoy!🫶🏽

My REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!!!!!

——————————————

The day you left the order was the hardest decision you’ve ever made. It wasn’t because of false accusations or because you believed that the sith could help you achieve goals the Jedi couldn’t. No it was one specific rule, one specific code. Attachments are Forbidden. Love was forbidden and you were in love with Anakin, your best friend. It wasn't his fault, you couldn’t really blame him for it, not when there was a rule set for the Jedi. However it didn’t stop the pain that ripped through your chest and into your heart and mind. There was no easy way to handle it, the love that you craved only to realize he’s never cared for you the way you hoped.

It was a memory you wished you could forget. The day you watched Padme grasp Anakin’s arm, pulling him into her room, late into the night. The way he looked at her, as if she was the only girl in the galaxy. She looked up at him with a sweet smile, warm and welcoming, he let her guide him to her bedroom. It was an accident really how you stumbled upon them, you had just finished your nightly routine of patrol. Of course the entire time your mind was lingering on Anakin, but when you stepped into that hallway everything changed. You left swiftly with no hesitation, your mind bursting in chaos, your feet carried you to your room. Your hands getting ready to pack your bags. You felt a thousand emotions, you felt betrayed, you thought maybe you were wrong. You wished you could go back and erase it all. You loved him and your heart hurt realizing that it could never be. You knew leaving the order was stupid, there were more pressing issues than your stupid emotions. But you had already dedicated most of your life to the cause. You were selfish with your emotions. You chose to leave anyway….

You figured no one would come looking for you, that you could get away so easily, and by the time they figured you were gone it would be too late. You grabbed your bag, slinging it over your shoulder. You knew the schedule of all the guards and both Anakin and Obi Wan’s. You knew by now that Anakin was still with Padme, he had the evening and night off. Obi Wan had retired to bed, but you knew he would be in the process of mediating. You slipped past the guards going through the back hallway, your movement quiet. You knew that you couldn’t take any of Naboo’s ships or your own which meant that you needed to travel into the outskirts. You found a speeder taking off into the city, traveling as far and as fast as you could go. You weren’t worried about anything other than getting off of this planet and away from Coruscant. Everything else will come later.

By morning Anakin had emerged from his bedroom, he was lucky he made it back in time before you or Obi Wan could notice he wasn’t in his room. His mind wandered back to Padme. The way she caressed his skin, touched him, the way he touched her, the way he kissed her…As he walked down the hallway towards the meeting area, Obi Wan was talking to a Nabooian guard, Captain Typho. Anakin squinted his eyes following Obi Wan’s hand, and in his hand was your distinguished sleek black hilt of a lightsaber and your Padawan braid. Obi Wan shook his head before turning away from Captain Typho. His eyes landed on Anakin’s, he sighed as he walks over to him, a heavy sadness echoed around him.

“ Master, what's wrong? Where is Y/N?”

“Anakin, Y/N never returned from her patrol last night. The ruminants left are her padawan braid and lightsaber. I am sorry” Obi Wan patted his shoulder, Anakin shook his head.

“ No then we must find out who took her!”

“ My young padawan, I’m afraid that’s not the case. It seems she’s left the Jedi order”

“She can’t leave, we still have our trials to finish, she can’t-“

“ But she has”

“ You’re wrong, she wouldn’t do that.” Anakin shakes his head, Padme who had been informed of the situation had walked over to offer her condolences.

“ Anakin, she made her choice, whatever reason it might’ve been, it was enough for her to doubt our practices. I am truly sorry, she was not just my padawan but my friend too” Obi Wan sighed again before turning away from his own padawan. Obi Wan could guess why you left, it was the same reason that he felt for Satine if she ever asked him to leave. Obi Wan was not blinded but he opted to remain out of personal affairs. Attachments always bring pain and heartbreak, it’s a hard lesson to learn when you’ve already crossed the threshold.

“Why would she leave, she would’ve told me if she planned to leave! We need to bring her back!” Anakin was in disbelief that you would just leave without so much of a goodbye. This wasn’t like you, to hide secrets from him, to hide your feelings from one another. The two of you were always good about that, and for you to just leave as if your friendship meant nothing. Padme placed a hand on Anakin’s arm, gently caressing it. Anakin subconsciously leaned into her touch hoping it might ease his pain that he felt, that ached in his chest and heart It only brought him momentarily relief. The rest of the duration of the mission, he focused on his trials, if you were there you would’ve made sure he passed. Anakin carried your lightsaber and padawan braid with him. As a reminder of you, but when the pain became too much he went right back to Padme…

———-

It’s been a year and a half since you’ve left the order, you found yourself a home on Aurea in the city of Shakamm Crater. Aurea is known for many trades and skills, it was a planet of opportunity. Though the planet was mostly known for its glasswork. You however were lucky enough to work as an artisan providing basic needs on droid or ship maintenance. You wanted the least exposing job that you could do and matched whatever skills you’ve learned in the temple. With much ease the planet you picked was filled with millions of people, which brought a comfort to you, to know that you would never be found.

It was night fall by now, you had gotten home maybe an hour or two ago, a small humble two story abode that was yours. Your home has an open floor plan, you were lucky to live on the edge of the city, you got to overlook the area and the outskirts. The climate based on the tropics, the vibrant colors of the sea, land and sky ease your aching heart. You wore a tank top and shorts to cool your body down, a gentle breeze swept past your light curtain. You walked over pushing the cotton material to the side, you sat down on the window seat. You leaned your elbow onto the windowsill resting your chin in your hand. The moon's light streaming through your bedroom. You shut your eyes staying in the present moment fighting off your memories of the life you once lived.

—

A brief image of you sitting near a window flashes through Anakin’s mind. He places a hand on his forehead, his eyes shutting just for a moment or two. Rex turned to look at his General

“ Sir are you alright?”

“ Yeah I’m just fine Rex” He grumbled. This has been a recurrence since you’d left the order, day and night you were on his mind. The visions or memories were often unprovoked. They happened during meditation sessions, randomly when he’s calm and relaxed. Even when he slept his dreams were only of you. Anakin wasn’t sure why it was like this, you’ve been gone for so long, yet you’re everywhere. His mind tormented him everyday and not a single person could help him ease his pain. Not his padawan, his old Master, not even Padme.

“ Wherever we are, I hope this place has a repair shop and a fuel station.” Ahsoka says as the transport ship rocks aggressively.

“ We are near the planet Aurea, let’s land in Shakamm Crater, they should have a station nearby” Obi Wan says as he checks the scanners.

“ Great” Anakin replies as he pressed a few buttons on the control Panel, Ahsoka and Obi Wan do the same. Anakin nods his head towards Rex. Rex began to slow down the ship as it passed through its orbit and then through its atmosphere. The sun’s burning glow hit the planet signaling that it was daylight.

“There’s a station up ahead” Anakin points out as he helps Rex fly the ship closer, landing it on a dock. There lied an assortment of ships, workers and droids, sparks floated in the air, sounds of mechanical noise sounded off in various directions. Workers shouted at each other from opposite sides of the station. Once the ship was landed, Rex, Ahsoka, Obi Wan and Anakin exited the ship looking for a worker to speak to. Obi Wan and Anakin both decided that this was their task. To be honest the task was rather easy, a worker walked up to them wiping off the grease from their hands.

“ We need new power sources, at least a new wing engine, we need fuel” Anakin lists off.

“Uh that’s gonna take at least a week or two to fix, what did you do get attacked by pirates or something?” The worker tells him and his partner.

“ Never mind that, We will pay you handsomely to fix it in a few days” Obi Wan offers.

“ What do you got in mind” The worker and Obi Wan continued their conversation, Anakin however drifted off, his eyes wandering the surrounding area, scanning for anything suspicious or unusual. Though that wasn’t exactly entirely true, he felt something, something specific, something familiar. Anakin wasn’t certain, but he could’ve sworn he thought he felt a familiar presence. Anakin searches through the force anyways, he wanted to make sure what he thought he felt was a lie. So he presses further his force hoping from person to person until he felt it again. This time it was more like a tug, a pull, something was drawing him in. His eyes followed that invisible line, leading to the very thing he dreamt of. It was as if time seemed to have slowed down incredibly, Anakin sucked in a breath, his chest tightening.

There you were burning bright as a thousand suns, the energy in which the force depicted you as. Anakin was captivated by your beauty. Your hair placed in a style that kept it from falling in your face, you had worn a uniform jumpsuit that the sleeves were tied around your waist, exposing your tank top. You had grease and dirt smeared on your hands, arms, and a little on your neck and forehead. Even with that you were still gorgeous. You were concentrating on your work. You sat down with one leg folded and the other leg dangling off the wing of the ship. You took apart one area of the top of the wing for another ship a few paces away. A worker had walked over shouting something at you. Your once serious expression turns into a smile, your lips form words before your unmistakable laughter leaves them. Your friend nodded as they threw their hands up in a dramatic gesture. They must’ve shouted something back at you causing you to shake your head and mouth something back. They had waved goodbye to you before walking away. You shook your head hoping off the wing. You reached for your backpack, looking up as you did so. What you hadn’t expected was there to be eyes already on you.

Anakin inhaled a sharp breath as your eyes connected, an unforgettable bond between the two of you snapping into place. The force grows tugging on each end for the both of you to meet in the middle. Your breathing picks up, your heart lurches forward breaking into the last few surviving pieces you had left. You didn’t want to admit that after all this time you still loved him. That he still looked as handsome as the day you first met. You realized that he no longer had a padawan braid meaning he passed the trials. He had a gloved hand, and his hair grew a few inches longer since the last time you had seen him. A scar cut from the top of his eyebrow to his cheek, his blue eyes peering into your soul. You had heard stories about him, and as he stood before you his reputation preceded him. He was intense as he had always been, but the boyish energy stayed, you could see it behind his eyes. always seemed to find a way to peer into your soul…You cut off your thoughts noticing that Anakin took a step forward, you took a step back, with so much distance between you two, you weren’t going to risk anything. The trust you had once was gone, the love you still felt you shoved back into a box.

Your eyes quickly scanned the people around him, Obi Wan and Ahsoka inch closer calling out his name, but his eyes stayed trained on you. Obi Wan mouths something to him but he doesn’t listen and says nothing. Obi Wan's gaze follows Anakin’s, his eyes landing on yours, he mouths your name. The slow motion of the world comes to a halt, reality bending back into its original form, you break out into a run. Anakin shouts to stay with the ship to Obi Wan and Ahsoka. Somewhere in between he shouts your name “ Y/N?!” You ignore him as you book it across the station for the exit. You pushed through people slamming into them by accident shouting out a sorry every now and then. You tried to dodge and weave, breaking out a zig zag pattern hoping to lose them. You had seen a speeder sitting on the side of the road, not caring who it belonged to, you threw your stuff in the back, climbing in the driver's seat. Once you started it, you took off, Anakin barely making it outside enough to see you disappear. Anakin’s eyes searched for another speeder to get into and he does. Anakin was relentless, he refused to let you go, not this time.

As you reached your home you clumsily parked the speeder rushing to get inside. You needed to leave here immediately, there were three Jedi and only you. Of course the council would send them to find you. You left without saying a word, you left during a mission. Maybe they would put you on trial or exile you or even send you to prison for disappearing. Foolish thoughts but very realistic possibilities, you had no idea what the Jedi were capable of. All you knew was that you didn’t want to go back. You stormed through your home running to grab your go bag that you had already packed in case of emergencies. Your heart had completely fallen apart, you loved this planet, you loved the people you’ve become friends with. You loved the work you did, and the home you lived in. What you hated was how easy it was for it to be taken from you within an instant. Your feet bounded down the stairs, you didn’t have time to take one final look at your home. You barely got to the front door, before it opened. Anakin stepped through the door, forcing you to take steps back.

You put distance between the two of you. Anakin seemed to follow you anyways. You took another step back as he took another step forward. He was silent, his jaw tense and set, his eyebrows scrunched together. He should feel shocked and surprised and excited to see you, but that all disappeared when you ran away, again. Now he was hurt and angry. He tried to corner you but you were smarter than that, you made sure there was space all around you. Anakin fought the urge to smirk even with his anger, a slight tint of playfulness etched through him. Almost as if he had drifted back in time to the many training sessions the two of you shared. You knew each other like the back of your hands.

“ Why did you run?” He asks you. At first it was meant in the sense of the earlier situation but really deep down he asked why you ran away without a second thought.

“ What do you mean why did I run? You brought two other Jedi to the planet I call home! You can’t expect me not to run!” You retorted.

“ No, you know exactly what I’m asking you! You were once a Jedi, the temple was your home!”

“ It was once my home…but I was never a Jedi.” You could feel the sad aching feeling in your chest. You fought back whatever emotions you had harbored for your old life.

“You’re wrong, you were always meant to be a Jedi. We talked for hours about what our life would be like. When we had finished our trials. To be Jedi knights, to become masters. We were supposed to do this together.“

“ Anakin, those were false pretenses, false dreams that weren’t meant to come true..”

“ Why are you saying this?”

“ Because it’s the truth”

“ it’s not the truth and you know it”

“But it is Anakin”

“ You’re wrong, why did you really leave?”

“ I can’t…”

“You can’t?”

“ No”

“ Why?! Why won’t you tell me?!”

“ Just let it go!”

“ No, I just I need to know”

“ Anakin” You shook your head as tears filled your eyes. You tried to make yourself look like the bad guy, as if you weren’t meant for the life of a Jedi. Really you avoided speaking about the love you held for him, in fear that he may still every well be with Padme. In fear that maybe he might feel the same for you. In fear that even when this is all said and done you’d end up alone, either in a cell or in your own home. You fought hard, to keep the tears at bay, your walls were slipping, you were exhausted, your past finally catching up to you.

Anakin could sense the war within yourself, he was breaking through to you, but even as out of practice you were, your mind created a barrier around itself, keeping your thoughts hidden. Anakin wanted to reach out, to caress your skin, to pull you into his arms, watching you hold back your own tears was heart wrenching. He watched as a tear rolled down your cheek. Your eyebrows scrunched in anger as you wiped the silent tear away with your hand. You crossed your arms around yourself turning away from him. Anakin takes a gentle step towards you. What had gotten you so crushed and defeated that you had to run away.

“ Tell me,” He whispers, pleading for an answer.

Your eyebrows twist as you place a hand over your mouth, you are on the brink of a melt down. Everything is settling around you, the reality of the conversation weighing heavier by the second. The forces of presence surround the both of you, enhancing each other's emotions and senses. Anakin takes another step, placing a hand on your shoulder. Your body tenses, for a moment you felt it all, the comfort you found within one another. The friendship you both built together, the love and warmth, the support, all of it. Only for a moment did you fully remember who your best friend was, only for a moment you remember who you used to be. The tears flowed with out warning, you adjusted yourself so you could stepped out of his grasp, his touch burned. But your heart betrayed you, it yearned for the touch that meant to soothe you.

“ Y/N” he whispers to you, calling your name out more ways than one.

“ I saw you with Padme” You whispered, turning to look him in the eyes.

“ What”

“ You both looked so in love-” You smiled sadly as the tears slid down your cheeks staining them.

“ How did you-“

“ I was on patrol that night. I didn’t mean to walk down the hallway, but I wanted the extra time to myself…I was torn between being a Jedi and being in love with someone I shouldn’t have. Then there the two of you were, and the decision was clear. I couldn’t have both, I couldn’t be a Jedi and be in love. I couldn’t be in love and be a jedi. I couldn’t talk to anyone, and if I did I would’ve been expelled or worse…So I left as quickly as I could” You sighed, whipped your cheeks, you shook your head as you looked at the floor. You could see the confusion flash on Anakin’s face. Anakin must admit it was a little bit easier to understand being in love, but now Anakin couldn’t grasp in his mind that you would be interested in anyone.

“ Who was it”

“ Who was what?” You sniffled your tears slowing down.

“ Who were you in love with?”

“ It doesn’t matter, because he doesn’t love me” You shrug, offering him another sorrowful smile.

“How do you know?”

“ Because I already told you I saw him with someone.”

“ You-you love me?” He takes a step towards you. Disbelief ripped through his chest, there was no way that you could be in love with him-You saw him with Padme, he caused you pain. Here you were crying your beautiful heart out, your tears filled with the unprofessed love trapped within you. You held onto it for so long choosing to remain silent. Anakin, blinded by the Angel he’d seen on Tatooine, forgot his best friend’s existence. You were there for as long as Anakin could remember. You gave him advice, you went along with his stupid yet ridiculously complicated plans that always seemed to work out in the end. You faced obstacles together, you were his support, and all that time you had fallen in love with him, while he became infatuated with the thought of an older woman, distracting himself from the possibilities of being with you. He failed to realize that you yourself were the guardian Angel sent to him not Padme. He was just blind by his own ambitions to see it.

You sighed as you caught on to the way Anakin internally blamed himself. You knew he was going over every thought, every moment, over analyzing where he went wrong. Yet here you were again, soothing his pain as you had as always done. “ It’s not your fault, I told you-it was my choice, my path-you had nothing to do with it-“

“ I told you it wasn’t just your decision.” It was different now, the year and a half you were gone gave him enough time to understand the reality of the situation. He took you for granted and he hated that. He knew deep down that he had always loved you. He just needed you to leave him to understand it. He took your face into his hands caressing your cheeks, his forehead leaning down to touch yours. There was a pull in the force that went unnoticed by the both of you, there was a magnetic pull, as if two puzzle pieces shifted into place.

He shakes his head, shutting his own eyes, the warmth of your skin against his flesh had driven him insane. The electricity that followed between the two of you was undeniable. What he had with Padme was nothing compared to what he felt right in this moment. He instead crashes his lips onto yours, the kiss becoming intensely passionate. At the same time the force finally found itself joining together binding itself to one another. Almost as if the two finally had molded into one. The once friendship bonding into a love that is bound together not just by them but through the force as if they were truly meant to be…The need for air pushed to the back of Anakin’s mind. Forget it he didn’t need it even if his lungs screamed at him. All he wanted was you to be around you. You however wanted to relish in the kiss but you couldn’t for too long, your mind wandered to Padme and how wrong this situation was. You pulled away in fact needing some air to breathe anyways, Anakin’s lips chasing yours.

“ Wait- wait -wait” You say breathlessly.

“ No, I can’t wait anymore” Anakin chases your lips again but you place your hands on his chest pushing him away, moving out of his hold. You take a few steps back.

“ We can’t ”

“Why not?”

“ Because you’re a Jedi and you’re in love with Padme.”

“ I’m not with her anymore, I broke it off with her when I realized there was nothing between her and I. I didn’t love her the way I love you”

You shook your head placing a hand on your forehead. “Ani..” you sighed again. His heart and chest burst with joy, he hadn’t heard that nickname in a long time, he wanted to hear you say it again.

“No, I lost you once and I don’t intend on losing you again. I can’t see myself living without you, if I did I’d be in agony all the time as I once was. Being a Jedi has nothing to do with the way I feel about you. Forbidden or not you’re the one I want to be with.“ Anakin whispers to you as he takes a step towards you. You crossed your arms over your body, watching his every step, holding your own breath.

“ You’d be willing to keep us a secret?” You asked

“ Yes if it means I get to be with you”

“ You know they’ll check the logs on your fighter to see where you’ve been-“

“Y/N, You’re not changing my mind” Anakin pries your arms from your body using it as leverage to pull you closer. You somewhat hesitate but he pulled you anyway. You had to internally admit it felt good to be in his arms, and the way your body began to relax gave that away. Anakin smirks as he looks down at you, your eyes wandering around his frame, your hands finding a place to rest themselves, your hands glide over his arms and shoulders before resting them around his neck. You felt comfortable there. Anakin rested his own arms around your hips and waist, his large hand moving to the small of your back to push you impossibly closer. Anakin leaned downward towards your neck and shoulders pulling you in a tight embrace. He inhaled your scent, and hummed as he exhaled. You were his comfort place, you were his home, he could finally breathe, his own body melting into yours. You carted your fingers through his golden hair.

“ You win” You huffed, Anakin chuckled and squished you even tighter, he just needed to hold you for a little longer. Anakin finally pulled away looking at you, another need flowed through him and somewhere else. He took your hand guiding you to your bedroom. “ Ani I stink, I think we should wait-“

“ I already told you I can’t wait”

“ What if Obi Wan finds my home and you in it, then what?”

“ We’ll be quick. I promise.”

“ Maybe I don’t want it to be quick”

“ So then I’ll take it slow”

“ Ani you can’t”

“ Y/N, I can”

“ Cant”

“ Can”

“ Cant”

“ I can too!”

“ No you cant”

“ You don’t know what I’m capable of” He retorts.

“ Oh please” You rolled your eyes. “You’re not even scary”

“ Wanna bet?” The banter between the two of you felt welcoming and genuine. It seems you’d missed more than just the teasing. Anakin pulls you into your room not giving you a chance to reply, he guides you towards your bed. You let him, his gaze becomes darker, you shake your head answering his question from earlier. For a moment you were going to give in, but then you shoved your hand into Anakin’s face pushing him away playfully.

“Nope, see not scary” You smiled, your moment interrupted by a knock downstairs. Anakin pleaded with you silently to stay. You smirked walking away, but not before he smacked your ass. You turned and glared at him to which he held a flirtatious smile of his own. The two of you had some explaining to do, with Obi Wan, Ahsoka and Rex waiting outside. Once you opened the door with Anakin directly behind you, you were welcomed with warm smiles, ones you hadn’t seen in a while. This was a dream, for you, you welcomed everyone into your home. You looked at Anakin one last time as he reached for your hand pulling you into him as the two of you walked towards the others. Who cares what the Jedi say, love is love, forbidden attachments are stupid as one might say. Right now everyone in that room doesn’t seem to mind, they all held genuine grins on their faces.

“ Master, won’t you introduce us?” Ahsoka asks.

“ Master?” Your eyebrows raise humor behind your eyes and smile.

“ What? I’m a master” He says smugly, you burst into laughter Obi Wan shaking his head at his once former padawans.

“ Y/N” Obi Wan warns. Ahsoka and Rex find the moment endearing, Anakin had met his match and they were here for it.

“ What, Okay you’re right I’m sorry” You waved your hand dismissing your behavior, clearing your throat. Anakin pinched your arm, to which you slapped away. Rex couldn’t contain his own laughter, and then the introduction, and recapping began. You offered your home and tea for the group, everyone could relax for a few hours. Sometimes we go through trials and tribulations to find tranquility…You guess you could say that you both found that today.

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[verboselocket38]

I need to make something clear or else the fans might attack me and send me threats, I like this show and was kinda scared to post this but I gotta say it........

.......Anyways, Im just rant about some excuses for Helluva Boss that are just not good excuses when fans defend the wrighting.

1. "If you dont like it dont watch it 🙄"

So this excuse I hear a lot when fans are backed into a corner and cant protect the critisisms from the show (Sorry I am tired, so my spelling might not be that good) And even if people deny it they use this excuse anyways without giving a good argument to why whatever critism the show gets is wrong.

Also I told this to someone before, but by the logic of this excuse, that means anyone who watches and said they openly hate a show like Velma or High Gaurdian Spice secretly likes it.

(I am gonna bring these shows up a lot to use them as examples. Should probably mention now that I dont like either Velma or HGS, but Helluva Boss has SOME THINGS in common, not ALL THINGS, but SOME)

2. "The Series isnt finished, you should wait for it to be done"

Now to an extent this one is ok. Like for example: If Aang from ATLA were going on a journey to learn how to Waterbend, Earthbend, and Firebend to defeat the Firelord, then obviously its gonna take awhile and shouldnt be like "wHy DoEsNt He BeAt HiM NOW!!!". BUT that does not mean you cant critisize the episodes where Aang might get out of character, Katara does something that will leave a bad taste in your mouth, or anything that might not be good writing.

Yes Helluva Boss isnt finished, but thats still a bad excuse for defending the writing. You should still put effort into the writing. Like the fight between Blitzø and Stolas was resolved in A TEXT MESSAGE AND PEOPLE SAY ITS GOOD WRITING. IT ISNT!!! Like if your most emotion point in your show is going to be resolved in something we dont see happen, then there is no growth to the characters. (Saying this is an easter egg is just another excuse for bad writing.) People say that later on it might get resolved and that we should be patient I call bull crap. In S2E2 Stolas and Blitzø are not even akward around eachother, so I highly doubt future episodes will talk about this.

Also, I just thought, shouldnt shows like Velma also go for its excuse? Like its getting a Season 2, so we shouldnt judge the show until its finished right? I dont wanna hear "Its because Velma ruined Scooby Doo!" Or "Velma is an acception since it can make my eyes role" Nope!!! We gotta wait till Velma is over to fully critisize it.

2.5 "You shouldnt be comparing VELMA to HELLUVA BOSS!!!"

Gonna bring this up since SOMEONE WILL. But I do NOT like Velma, I think its crap. I like Helluva Boss, not a fan of the stans and a lot of things Viv says and does. They can not take Critisism. She says she can but accually doesnt. And I kinda realize that there are some things Velma does that people role their eyes at, but when Helluva Boss does it, they get praised for it. Again, I 👏DO 👏NOT 👏LIKE 👏 VELMA. Im treating it equal to other shows, when Velma does something everyone hates it. When Helluva Boss does it everyone likes it. For example, the Swearing and Sex jokes. When Velma does it, people say that they swear and do sex jokes for no reason and it ruins the mood. But when Helluva Boss does it (Which keep in mind, 90% of the dialoug is sex and swearing.) It gets praised. Just wanted to point it out.

3. "Its Hell, what do you expect? 🤡"

I saved the best for last. Yall probably heard this one before lol. So, Im just gonna say that yes the characters do live in hell and that can lead to their bad behavior and cruel humor. The issue that I have is that will be used to defend bad writing. Yes they live in hell, but that doesnt mean 90% of the dialoug should be sex, swearing, and angst. Yknow the end of Unhappy Campers where Moxxie and Millie dressed as siblings and had sex on stage infront of minors? "But its hell!" Yes, BUT its out of character for Moxxie and Millie. MOXXIE ESPECIALLY!!!! ITS ALSO GROSS LIKE HOW IS THIS FUNNY?????

There are also double standards. For example when Stella turns out to be a abusive bish, we are made to suppose to hate her. But when Loona was abusive to her adoptive father who took her in and gave her love, we are suppose to laugh??? Also, dont say "But he threatened to replace her!" No, Loona brought it up AFTER she was attacking Blitzø and he roled along with it.

"But its Hell!!!" my butt. If Stella is abusive to make Stolas look like a justified character and her unlikeable, then why should I like Loona? And no, trauma is not an excuse. She is 22 and she has control of her own self.

And like??? If I were to write a story of some unlikeable guy in New York City who killed people for no reason, should my excuse be "Its society, what do you expect? This is life, get over it."

Conclusion

In conclusion, if you accually want to defend the writing of your horny demon show, then find accual critisms. Again, I👏 Like👏This👏Show. But when Fans and Viv shield any critisms and just see it as blind hate, it makes me upset. Most people who critisize this show like it. The thing is, if we praise or ignore something that needs to be critiqued, then the writing wont get any better. If we critisize it, then there is a chance that Viv will realize she needs to put effort into her wrighting.

I like this show, it inspired me, but Season 2 is such a downgrade from the previous season.

#helluva boss #its hell #helluva critical #helluva critique #helluva criticism #hazbin hotel #hazbin critical #vivziepop #vivziepop criticism #vivziepop critical #vivziepop critique #hazbin critique

[genericpuff]

Mystery solved.

Okay. Okay I gotta figure out where to begin with this- breathes

A fellow ULO community member was going through old S1 panels and pointing out typos that we had all somehow missed (LO typos have a tendency to sneak by like that) and one thing they pointed out that I had never noticed was this one panel from Episode 102:

Particularly pointing out how the font overlays Hades' fingers which is just hilarious. That was where it was supposed to end.

But have you ever actually read the letter?

Because I did. And it took me on a ride I wasn't expecting to go on at 2:30 in the morning.

This shot of the letter is from the second instance it appears, when Hades scratches out part of it and writes, "I love the way you treat me, and I want to feel that way all the time."

But the first time this letter appears, when he's actively writing it, it's delivered to us through narration, in Episode 47. I actually love this episode, it does a great job at visual storytelling without overuse of active dialogue, and the content of the letter itself shows a great amount of self-awareness from Hades in the moment, even though the dark implications of what he's feeling is falling on his own deaf ears and the scene itself is quickly dashed by the obligatory quip-for-comedy-so-people-don't-get-too-sad of Hades' dismissing his therapist's advice, with the irony of him not realizing his own issues as he's writing this letter mere hours before overstepping his boundaries and having a guy whacked for taking photos of the Goddess of Spring.

But there was one line in particular that's always stood out to me.

The line "it ends up hurting you" felt random and out-of-context. In the beginning on my first read through back in early-mid 2019, I thought maybe it was just being poetic and I "didn't get it", until I became a critic of the series and had a reality check and realized it was likely just a typo, perhaps it was meant to be "It would end up hurting you" or something of that nature.

But it was looking at that panel of the letter and actually reading the text that was there that I realized - the line feels random and out-of-context, because it is random and out-of-context.

Look back at the letter. Paragraph eight. Rachel didn't write the full line despite it being necessary to the line 'it ends up hurting you'.

The full excerpt reads:

"I WISH I COULD EMPTY A DRAWER IN MY DRESSER FOR YOU, OR BUY YOU A TOOTHBRUSH TO KEEP IN MY BATHROOM. THE TRUTH IS, EVERY TIME WE HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER... IT ENDS UP HURTING YOU."

I can't believe it's not just a typo. I can't believe it took me this long to find this. I don't know how this got missed by Rachel, I'm assuming she wrote the letter out first and then copy and pasted the words into a larger font size which she placed throughout the episode, but how could that one part have been missed when the line "it ends up hurting you" is a dependent clause that can't stand on its own without the line that precedes it?

At the very least, I do finally feel like I've found closure over this one scene, now that I know the full context to the line. And I wouldn't have found it if it weren't for people joking about the letter panel being drawn like shit.

But it's definitely discouraging because it begs the question, what else is being haphazardly left out of the dialogue? What other clunky sentences with next to no context or build-up or reasoning could be better if they were actually finished or if Rachel and her team had spent the extra time to double check the script and ensure that no sentence is being left half-finished?

The irony in this scene as well is that Hades acknowledges he's too old for Persephone, he acknowledges that they aren't good for each other and that he'll only wind up hurting her, he acknowledges that he barely knows her and he shouldn't call what he feels for her 'love', but infatuation, a very accurate and self-aware statement that I feel like the current Hades lacks. It makes it feel all the more distressing when the letter makes a return in Episode 102, and he makes one simple change:

As impactful as this statement was back in the day, looking back, knowing fully well how far his character has now fallen, this now feels less like a triumphant statement accepting his feelings and more like one of giving in to his selfish desires. This is even more accentuated by the use of the red ink, which splatters across the page alongside messy handwriting, contrary to the meticulous typewriting above.

He's pushing off his baggage as a mere bridge to cross later.

He's making hopeful assumptions about her feelings and putting her on a pedestal without communicating his actual baggage outside of his own head and with her directly. In fact, he doesn't get around to talking about this baggage until she's in a position to depend on him in Season 2.

He's fantasizing about their future with next to no foundation yet, and while he's recognizing that she might not be happy with him in the long term, he still tosses all those legitimate concerns aside to "I love the way she treats me", as if all that matters is what she can do for him - and what he can and can't do for her isn't important until it will inevitably rear its ugly head after she's already become his.

This is the turning point where Hades has become the villain. Where he's shifted from being the responsible adult and leader to an obsessive fanatic whose only goal is to have Persephone. To the point that, despite him saying in the letter that it would be best to limit his presence around her-

-seems to be upset over the notion of doing that exact thing as soon as she's the one to suggest it. Acting as if he's being rejected when he was the one to originally conceive the idea to limit their presence around one another for her own good.

Hades being a responsible King and adult went out the window years ago and I feel like this was the moment where it happened, and that red pen was the gavel. Apparently all it took was her admitting she has a crush on him - undoubtedly as shallow as his crush on her, based solely on infatuation but not written on paper as Hades' confession was - for him to toss aside all that work to unpack his feelings and all that responsibility he was willing to take. Never mind the fact that her feelings could undoubtedly use unpacking of their own. Never mind the fact that her liking him back still doesn't change the reality of their situation - that they're fundamentally different people, from different worlds, with vastly different experiences and outlooks and values and goals, living in massively different life stages. Try as it might to be presented as romantic, that "opposites attract", it's more appropriately and commonly known as being incompatible.

If this were any other story, this would be a precautionary tale in so many ways, made especially significant for an audience that's largely coming of age and experiencing feelings of infatuation and attraction for the first time.

But this isn't that story. It's Lore Olympus.

Hades is, through and through, the villain of this story, no matter what the narrative tries to convince us of otherwise. I stood by that statement before and I stand by it even more so now. Unfortunately we're now at the point where Persephone herself has become a villain, corrupt by the same system she used to criticize.

And just like the letter and all its raw text admitting to Hades' faults and baggage and showing he's willing to take accountability, so too does the narrative itself slyly tell the ugly truth in between its lines: that love is not enough, that love is not the same as obsession, that power can corrupt even the purest of hearts - that love is enough, that you should pursue the one you desire until they're yours and only yours, that you should climb higher towards those in power above you until you have that same power in your hands.

Because you love the way it makes you feel and you want to feel that way all the time.

#oops this wasn't supposed to be this deep #it was literally just me wanting to point out a missing sentence in a panel from years ago #this is what happens when i eat too much LO food for thought at 3 AM #lore olympus critical #lo critical #antiloreolympus #anti lore olympus #next thing you know i'm drawing parallels between the narrative and hades' own delusions

[alpaca-clouds]

Baldur's Gate 3 - Or: Why Endings are hard

The last few days I have seen quite a few posts going around about Act 3 and in general the ending of BG3. Which is understandable, because yes, the ending still kinda feels... off. Some decisions feel forced, some of the character endings feel unsatisfying, and how the game deals with Orin and Gortash also kinda feels off. There is a reason, why I did not write just one, but two fix its for the ending.

But let me talk a bit how this happens and why this is in fact quite a common thing to happen. If I had a dollar for everytime I enjoyed a thing where people were unhappy with the ending of the "thing", I would have enough to cover this month's rent lol

Now, let me talk about the most obvious fact first: Act 3 of BG3 is very long. Mostly because of all the side quests you can do - though you theoretically do not need to do, of course. Though even if you do only do the story-stuff, it is fairly long for one reason: The companion quest most finish up here.

As in my other stuff about the ending: Spoilers under the cut!

Let me quickly make a list of the stuff that is more or less essential to the plot happening in Act 3. Like, quite a bit of this you do not need to do to finish the game, but... For the story to properly finish up this is part of Act 3.

Confront Gortash (Karlach's quest is tied to this)

Confront Orin

Finish off Cazador

Save/Kill Shadowheart's parents

Save Duke Ravengard

Do the Balduran quest

Do the Sorceror's Tower and have Gale talk to Mystra

Deal in either way with the Githyanki revolution

The Counting House

Rescruit Minsc

Deal with Raphael in one way or another

Deal with the Elderbrain

That is a lot, right? And this is all without other sidequests that you can do in Act 3 (like dealing with Ethel and "Build-a-Clown").

The only companion, who does not give you anything to do in Act 3 is Halsin. (I don't know about Minthara, because I never managed to recruit her so far.) Okay, admittedly, also kinda Karlach, because you have to go against Gortash either way and other than that there is nothing that happens in her questline. Which, yes, is one of the reasons her ending feels so unsatisfying.

Now, I absolutely understand why this happens. Because of the thing we actually see with Karlach. It kinda feels off that one character does not really have anything to do towards the end. It feels unsatisfying.

Let me stay with Karlach for a moment. Because she is a good example. One of the main reasons her ending feels so unsatisfying is, that you do not really do a lot for her. Like, in Act 1 you fight Zariel's people sent after Karlach and talk to Dammon. In Act 2 you talk to Dammon. In Act 3 you fight Gortash, which you gotta do either way.

I would argue, that her ending would feel a lot more satisfying, even if it stayed the exact same, if you just were allowed to try and fix her. Maybe do something for the Gondians or Ironhands so they might try and fix her. Or try to get Gortash to fix her (like I wrote about). Or do a more complicated quest for Dammon to get something that might fix her. It does not need to actually work. But just you trying to do something would make the ending feel better.

I have seen people argue that Wyll has the weakest stuff in Act 3, which I very much do not agree with. Like, Wyll and Lae'zel both get a very short end of the stick in Act 2 (there is not really a lot happening for either in Act 2), but Wyll actually has two quests in Act 3, which is in fact more than anyone else. Especially as the Balduran quest ties him directly to the main plot.

Of course, I am still going to argue that Astarion and Shadowheart have the most satisfying ends of their questlines.

But let me get back to the main issue. The main story ending does feel... Hollow. And I think really that this boils down especially to one thing: The main plotline does take away your choices in Act 3. Yes, sure, you can try to become the new Absolute and stuff. But... That's about it.

Sure, you can ally with Gortash. But he dies either way.

You cannot really ally with Orin in any way.

And as I bemoaned so many times: The game forces you to choose whether to ally with the Emperor or Orpheus. Either way does only give minor differences for the ending. And no matter how much you allied yourself with the Emperor so far, he won't listen to you no matter what you say.

In the end the issue with Act 3 - as it is with so many of those endings in stuff that people felt were unsatisfying - is a pacing issues. You want to give all storylines (in this chase the character quests) a proper ending, which all needs to happen in that last Act, because it would feel off, if a main character does not get to do anything in that Act. (Again, like Karlach.)

Yes, I absolutely agree that we actually needed MORE STUFF in Act 3. Especially for Gortash and Orin. But on the other hand the third Act was already SO MUCH.

And that is without going into the problems of development cycles. Like, I don't know how bad it was with Larian working on Act 3, but especially the stuff with the Epilogue feels a lot like they actually did not finish everything. This feeling also gets supported by the fact that Act 3 to this day is more buggy than the first two Acts.

Yes, the problem is the writing - but given this is a game, that writing also needed to be implemented. Maybe they wanted to do more with Gortash and Orin - but they didn't get around to implementing it all.

If this was a non-interactive story, one could have probably tied up several character quests together. But of course that does not work here, because the game cannot know which characters you will have along in Act 3. Like, sure, it would totally make sense to tie up the plots of Karlach and Wyll. But there is a chance either might have died or left the party - or that you have not recruited one of them. Hence... bloating.

And really, the only thing one could do about it would be to add more. But that would make the bloating worse. It is... complicated. Planning stories is complicated.

#baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 act 3 #bg3 act 3 spoilers #astarion #enver gortash #shadowheart #karlach #wyll #gale #gale of waterdeep #lae'zel #writing #game development

[sihaya74]

NEW The Lessons of Bryan Fuller's Hannibal S1: E6 -- HOPE IS THE THING WITH SURGICAL TROPHIES

Lessons of Bryan Fuller’s Hannibal

S1:E6 – HOPE IS THE THING WITH SURGICAL TROPHIES

Hello readers and #FannibalFamily! Yes, it’s been a hot minute since I have updated this blog. What can I say? Life has a tendency to intervene. A few real-life events knocked me out of my daily writing pattern and I am just now beginning to regain my balance. This blog is, however, something I am committed to finishing no matter how long it takes, and so, I am digging back into the scripts of Bryan Fuller’s Hannibal and prepared to create my next installment – an analysis of the theme, the message, the universal lesson in the happenings of Season 1, Episode 6: “Entrée.”

I must make an important note that at this point, I have rewatched the show some five or six times. But this is my first time delving into the scripts for all the episodes. I have to occasionally remind myself about scenes in these episodes or lines of dialogue that wound up being cut or moved to a different episode. But since I am approaching this project as an English major and analyzing both the show and the scripts as a TEXT – (my literary theory professor, Dr. Hogue, always said that everything in life is a TEXT and he was damn sure right about that) – then I see no issue with the fact that sometimes the words I am analyzing didn’t always make it to the screen in the exact form they started out in. Hannibal is a series that is a feast for all the senses – its visual beauty, its soundtrack and score and sound effects, the effort put in to rendering the most beautiful depictions of food on the screen and so perhaps the viewer can imagine their taste – (I have dreamed feverishly about those High Life Eggs more than once, I can tell you) – but all of it begins where good stories start – on the page. And so, it is to the page and the words that I remain loyal.

This episode of Hannibal, “Entrée,” had two authors. Kai Yu Wu conceived the story and Wu and Bryan wrote it together. The episode was directed by Michael Rymer.

In the order of our French dishes, by which each episode of the first season is named, at this point in the series, we have partaken of the following: a pre-dinner drink, a little bitty appetizer, a bowl of hearty soup, some eggs, and a chicken or fish dish baked in a sauce and served in a scallop shell or scallop-shaped dish. And so now, a viewer must ask, “What’s next?” That or: “I need to take a break because I’m full.” At which, Bryan Fuller points at the viewer’s plate and says, “You’ll clean your plate and you’ll like it. You’ll love it. You’ll beg me for another season when we’re done.” Just trust him. He’s the chef. You always trust the chef. They know what they’re doing.

In a classic French meal, the entrée is not necessarily the main dish and it is not always served – sometimes they skip courses. When it does appear, it is usually a meat dish, in a sauce (GOTTA HAVE A SAUCE), and with sides. In American cuisine, entrée has come to mean a MAIN COURSE always. And what an entrée is in American cuisine varies wildly by what is on the menu, who is eating it, and how many fried cheese sticks and jalapeno poppers the person had prior to the entrée arriving at their table. Still, the idea holds. When you say the word “entrée,” people expect a main course – something substantial, something that sticks to your ribs. And in this episode, there is definitely a lot of meat – meat that has been rubbed and aged over the last five episodes and is now sliced and steaming from the oven. This episode is mostly about advancing the MAIN storyline – that of the Chesapeake Ripper and the FBI’s and namely, Jack Crawford’s, attempts to catch the seasoned killer. (Seasoned… see what I did there? YOU GOT PUNNED!)

And on a thirsty side note: After viewing the scene in which Will Graham reenacts the murder of nurse Elizabeth Shell, the fact that the episode is named “Entrée,” makes complete sense. Hugh Dancy in that scene is an entire meal with ample meat for leftovers. (Seriously – JFC – if you haven’t seen it, or seen it lately, do yourself a favor and have some GOOD FOOD.)

We start the episode with our introduction to one of the series’ completely original characters, Dr. Abel Gideon, a former transplant surgeon, who after being convicted of the murders of his wife and her family, has been incarcerated in the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane, for the last two years. The character is portrayed with amazing skill, subtlety, and awesomeness, by Suzy Eddie Izzard. I have been a longtime fan of Izzard’s work and was insanely pleased to see the actor amongst the cast members.

I must point out the literary significance of the character’s name – Abel Gideon, a smorgasbord of Biblical allusion. The import of the Doctor’s first name is obvious – Abel, in the Biblical version of things, was the first murder VICTIM, slain by the hands of his jealous brother, Cain, who was angry that God liked Abel better and had a right fit about it. The character of Gideon is slightly more complex, but basically it goes as follows: Gideon was a prophet in the Old Testament. He destroyed the idols of Baal and others in his town’s temple because the townspeople were worshipping false gods. An angel told him to. Then, Gideon led the Israelites against other “heathen” tribes and won. They wanted to make him king, but he told them their only king was God. Still, he had them melt down the golden earrings of all their enemies who had fallen in battle and they wove the golden thread into an ephod, a priestly garment that is worn under the breastplate. Gideon put it in the temple and the people started worshipping it as an idol, because I guess, it was gold. Old Testament people always seem really impressed by gold. The Scripture is unclear, but it does say that the ephod was “a snare unto Gideon, and to his house” (Judges 8: 27).

You could say Gideon was a hypocrite, or more accurately, a terrible fool because he tried to stop the people from worshipping false idols and then he just led them into doing it again by creating something they would see as a sacred object. At best, Gideon was naïve. At worst, he was a fraud.

Dr. Abel Gideon’s name therefore could translate into something like: Dr. VICTIM FRAUD – or Dr. VICTIM FOOL. Despite his intelligence, he is lured directly into Dr. Chilton’s trap to believe and admit he is the Chesapeake Ripper solely because of Frederick’s needy ego – Frederick wants more feathers in his cap – he doesn’t have near enough and Hannibal Lecter’s are brighter and bespoke and where the fuck did he even find a custom featherer in Baltimore?

Then, later in the series, Gideon is led directly into the trap of the true Chesapeake Ripper and probably desperately wishes he had stayed in the BSHCI and eaten his stewed apricots and minded his own business.

Poor Abel is nothing but a puppet for two different egotistical psychiatrists. Unfortunately for him, one of them happens to be Hannibal Lecter.

And so, we begin the episode with the scene of Gideon passed out on the floor of his cell in the BSHCI and a team of prison guards approaching his limp form very cautiously and eventually shackling him, hand and foot, to a gurney, and wheeling him into the hospital infirmary, where he is treated by the aptly named Nurse Shell.

As evidenced by my previous discussion of Gideon’s name, I have come to realize the significance of character names in Bryan Fuller’s work. They are often allusions or tributes – homages to the work of other writers, directors, artists, scientists, and so on, that Bryan admires. For example, one has to assume that the surname of Bryan’s beloved Bedelia (another original character), Du Maurier, is a tribute to author Daphne du Maurier, author of many books and film adaptations of suspense – such as Rebecca, which Bryan and many of his horror colleagues discuss in the fabulous AMC/Shudder series Queer For Fear, on which Bryan was an executive producer and director. Basically, Mrs. Danvers was either literally or only metaphorically all up in Rebecca de Winter’s undergarments and when the woman died, Mrs. Danvers decided to make it everyone’s problem. The movie is awesome. Go watch it if you haven’t already. And then watch Queer For Fear. I believe they discuss Rebecca in both episodes two and four.

Anyway, Nurse Shell is correctly and tragically named because a shell of her former self is what she winds up as when the deluded Gideon is done with her.

As Nurse Shell turns her back, Gideon extricates the broken-off tine of a fork he has hidden in an incision in his palm. I believe this scene is an homage to the scene in The Silence of the Lambs when Dr. Lecter unearths a metal fragment from the back of his jaw, the inner workings of a ballpoint pen that has fallen into his hands. He uses this makeshift lockpick on his own handcuffs, much to the chagrin of Lieutenant Boyle and Sargeant Pembry. Classic scene.

Anyway, Gideon uses this tine to pick the lock on his handcuffs and when Nurse Shell turns around upon hearing the heart monitor hit a flatline, it’s lights out for the poor woman. We do not see Gideon kill her, but we see the results of his work soon.

Next, we see Jack Crawford and Will Graham vaulting up the front steps of the hospital, Jack explaining that based on the method of Nurse Shell’s murder, Freddie Lounds has run an unconfirmed story suggesting that Abel Gideon is the Chesapeake Ripper, which would explain the lull in murders for the last two years. Will is indignant that he is “fact-checking for Freddie Lounds,” but Jack coddles him with the statement, “You’re fact-checking for me” (Wu and Fuller 2).

There is heavy foreshadowing in the following exchange between Jack and Will before they enter the hospital:

WILL GRAHAM: I’m always a little nervous going into one of these places. Afraid they’ll never let me out again.

JACK CRAWFORD: Don’t worry. I’m not going to leave you here.

WILL GRAHAM: Not today                         (Wu and Fuller 3).

I really do recommend you watch the series more than once so this dramatic irony is not lost.

            Once Jack and Will enter the hospital, we see the first appearance of another of our main characters and one of the most important in the Hannibal canon: Dr. Frederick Chilton.

            In Fuller’s series, Chilton is rendered flawlessly by actor Raul Esparza, a deep daddy of mine (see ADA Rafael Barba of Law and Order: SVU fame). Esparza is another Fuller Favorite, having appeared in one of Bryan’s previous masterpiece shows, Pushing Daisies.

            There have been three actors who have portrayed the petty and obsequious Dr. Chilton, starting with Benjamin Hendrickson in 1986’s Manhunter. The second actor, and perhaps the most well-known portrayal, is that of Anthony Heald who took on the role in both 1991’s The Silence of the Lambs and reprised the role in 2002’s Red Dragon.

            Heald’s portrayal of Chilton is masterful – the Doctor is intelligent, but smarmy – officious and gladhanding – his pass at Clarice in the early moments of the film immediately puts the viewer off on him. Hannibal only seals the audience’s hatred of the Doctor by regaling Clarice with Chilton’s petty tortures of him, which are effectively contrasted by the treatment Hannibal receives from the ever-present orderly, Barney Matthews, played by awesome Frankie Faison, who treats Hannibal with a cautious respect, as a zookeeper might treat a venomous reptile. Barney never forgets what Hannibal is capable of. Chilton supposedly knows as evidenced by his relation of Hannibal’s biting attack on a nurse – he left only one of her eyes, ate her tongue without his pulse getting above 85 – but still, Chilton prods and humiliates Hannibal in unnecessary ways that LITERALLY come back to bite him in the end.

            Esparza’s Chilton is as intelligent as Heald’s, but slightly more savvy, ounces more petty, a bit more of a drama queen, and as opposed to Heald’s Chilton, who is ostensibly tortured and eaten by Hannibal at the end of The Silence of the Lambs, Esparza’s Chilton, in Fuller’s hands, is the favorite whipping post of killers and law enforcement alike – being practically disemboweled by one murderer, shot in the face by a traumatized Ripper victim, and later suffers the fate that Harris’ original Freddy Lounds suffers, a lip-ectomy and burning at the hands of Francis Dolarhyde. Freddy Lounds dies in both Manhunter/Red Dragon from this attack, but in Fuller’s Hannibal, no matter what, Frederick Chilton continues to survive, almost Fuller’s own version of the endlessly respawning Kenny of South Park fame.

            By my calculation, at the end of Season 3, Chilton is down 3 lives, so logic dictates that he has 6 left. If Fuller ever gets to make the full 7 seasons of Hannibal he imagines, if Chilton averages a death per season, he should survive the completed series with 2 lives left over, proving him to be the true winner of The Hannibal Games.

            But, once again, I digress…

            As Jack and Will sit in Chilton’s office, Chilton can barely seem to contain his curiosity about Will. Chilton’s open is clunky and obtuse; he says, “Doctor Bloom just called me about you, Mister Graham. Or should I call you Doctor Graham?” (Wu and Fuller 3). From his first line, Chilton seems to embody his later Season 2 remark, a gem from Harris’ canon, that attempting to analyze Will “makes [him] feel…like a freshman pulling at a panty girdle” (Fuller and Lightfoot 20). Chilton’s questions are telegraphed from a mile away – his overtures for more information are blunt and tasteless. Chilton’s questioning of Will, throughout the series, is contrasted with that of Hannibal – the difference is like watching a skilled surgeon with a scalpel as compared to a poorly trained medical student with a plastic spoon. Chilton can’t cut it, in any fashion. Will seems to understand this from the beginning – he sizes Chilton up correctly from their very first meeting.

            In their conversation, Chilton betrays himself a little, saying of Nurse Shell, “I can’t help feeling responsible for what happened. I had sessions with Gideon for years…I had no idea what he was hiding. And now one of our staff is dead” (Wu and Fuller 4). Of course, this is foreshadowing of Hannibal ascertaining later in the episode that Chilton is indeed COMPLETELY at fault. However, the most interesting thing about this exchange is Jack Crawford’s reaction. The script indicates that after Chilton’s remark here, it “strikes a chord with Jack…who can relate” (Wu and Fuller 4). Undoubtedly this “relation” is about Miriam Lass, Crawford’s lost trainee, who is first introduced in this episode.

            This is all important because of our lesson in this episode and because it highlights one of the driving motives of Jack’s character. In Episode 1, Jack and Alana agree that one of Will’s deepest motives is fear. If that is the case, then we can say that one of, perhaps the most, significant of Jack’s driving motivations is GUILT. Jack’s guilt is so present, so prevalent, so real, it is almost tangible. He feels guilt about Bella, about Miriam, later about Beverly, about Will, about Pazzi. His guilt is so weighty, so integral to his being, that often it overwhelms him, wobbles his sense of reason and the health of his psyche. Our lesson is not about guilt, but it is about an emotion Jack Crawford will not allow himself. In his position as Special Agent Jack Crawford, head of the FBI’s storied Behavioral Analysis Unit at Quantico, Jack does not allow himself much in the way of the easier emotions in life – laughter, joy, wonder – these are not things he can traffic in. Jack Crawford lives in a chapel of death. He is a chronicler of pain.

            As Chilton continues to prod Will for information, Jack finally states, “Graham isn’t here to be analyzed” (Wu and Fuller 5). It’s funny to me how people in the show, including Will, keep insisting that he’s NOT THE ONE to be analyzed, but since the very first moments of Episode 1, even the murders seem secondary to everyone else’s analysis of Will. It’s ironic, but I imagine purposefully so. Chilton retorts that “perhaps” Will “should be” analyzed; Chilton wants Will to speak to his colleagues in the hospital, but then he stops himself, saying, “no, no, not this trip. Dr. Bloom was very severe with me on that point” (Wu and Fuller 5). I also find it quite ironic how no one listens to Alana’s advice about handling Will. It speaks to the usual patriarchal pooh-poohing of women, even when they are extremely accomplished members of professional fields. Thankfully, Bryan saw to it that everyone who discounts Alana’s advice winds up paying for it.

            Just before escorting Jack and Will to the infirmary where Will can view the crime scene, Chilton says, “Next to a battle lost, the saddest thing is a battle won” (Wu and Fuller 6). This sentiment is attributed to the Duke of Wellington, and later to writer Robert Jordan, but to me the importance of it here is how it so perfectly illustrates the difference between Harris’ Chilton and Fuller’s Chilton. Every once in a while, especially in Season 3, Chilton seems to disinter these gems of wisdom from the muddy bottom of his intelligence. Often, lines like these, coming from Frederick are like an icepick of truth stabbed into the temple of the scene. A viewer who is familiar with all of the Hannibal canon can see – Fuller’s Chilton is smarter and more poetic than Harris’ Chilton, who is a slick, sad functionary who is both out of his depth with Hannibal Lecter and out of his league with Clarice Starling. Fuller’s Chilton is never in Hannibal’s league, but at times, real insight flashes up from the shallows of his brain, and it makes his character more sympathetic to the viewer. We feel sorry for Fuller’s Chilton. Harris’ Chilton never arouses such pity.

            When Will and Jack finally view the nurse’s body, it is described as follows:

She’s IMPALED on the BROKEN FRAMES of several PRIVACY CURTAINS that have been fashioned into SPEARS. They PROTRUDE from wounds over the entire canvas of her body. Additional shards of wood and metal prop her organs above her corpse, giving them the appearance of floating outside her body.                              

(Wu and Fuller 6)

The visual of this tableaux is important, as it will contrast with the Chesapeake Ripper’s actual rendering of the famous medieval Wound Man shown later in the episode in a flashback. Later, Will calls this murder “plagiarism.” The viewer, especially one who has watched the entire series at least once, can understand Will’s assessment easily. The Chesapeake Ripper is an artist – even when his tableaux are deconstructionist in nature, like Beverly Katz’s murder scene in Season 2, there is still a lingering sense of the whole that once was. The essence of the thing that has been taken apart is still suggested by the Ripper’s composition. Gideon’s attempt at mimicry is just that – a sad parody. He merely skewered organs like Nurse Kabob. He merely jabbed implements in her like Nurse Pincushion. There is no whole left to be had.             In Act One, we see the replaying of the gurney scene at the beginning of the episode, except this time with Will in Gideon’s place. This time, we see the attack on Nurse Shell; this time at the hands of Will, who is doing his mental recreation (pendulum swingy – this is my design-y) of the scene.

            Will’s recreation here is filed very lovingly by the #FannibalFamily under the title, “THINGS THAT HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING INSANELY HOT,” but Goddamn it… it is.

It’s not just Will’s torn open shirt – it’s not just the visible sweat on his muscled chest and furrowed brow (although those things REALLY HELP) – it’s the power and the confidence Will exudes when he is in the mental guise of the killer. In truth, every time Will does a mental recreation of a crime, he becomes inordinately hotter because he is not the unsure, confused, flinchy Will Graham of outside-his-mind – he is the take-charge, aggressive, Will Graham with some goddamned agency, that he only seems to be able to muster when he slips into the minds of other people – that is until the end of Season 1, anyway. Will’s agency gets a glow up in “Savoureux,” just wait.

            I will say that when Will gouges Nurse Shell’s eyes out with his thumbs, that’s a major ick for me. Eye stuff always deeply bothers me. I had two very invasive eye surgeries as a child and I think it makes me sensitive. The needle in the eye scene in Fire In the Sky is a trauma from which I will never recover.

            After Will’s recreation is finished, the viewer is then treated to a flashback three years earlier when the character of Miriam Lass enters the series. It is well known that Miriam Lass, played astonishingly by Anna Chlumsky, is Bryan’s substitute for/homage to the character of Clarice Starling, who, because of copyright issues, Bryan could not use in Hannibal. This, of course, is a damn shame, because Clarice is a god-level character and I would love, love, love to see what Bryan could do with her. (I would also like – if we ever get future seasons – to see Ardelia Mapp, Barney Matthews, and Multiple Miggs show up, but I digress…)

            Miriam and Clarice share similar backgrounds – they were both FBI Forensic Fellows – Clarice had the great distinction of studying under fingerprint examiner par excellence, Jimmy Price – but they both came through the same program there and at the FBI Academy. Their university degrees differ a little – Clarice is the daughter of a lawman, which Miriam does not seem to be – but both women are the same with regards to their stunning intellects, dogged determination, and their fascinations with and devotions to “the Guru,” Jack Crawford. It reminds me of a passage from The Silence of the Lambs. At the end of the chapter, (I tell you, Thomas Harris knows how to end a fucking chapter) – after Starling and Crawford return from the Potter Funeral Home in West Virginia, Harris writes, “She watched him walk away, a middle-aged man laden with cases and rumpled from flying, his cuffs muddy from the riverbank, going home to what he did at home. She would have killed for him then. That was one of Crawford’s great talents” (96).

            Jack tells Miriam that he has culled her from the herd of FBI hopefuls to work for him in the Violent Criminal Apprehension Program (VICAP) because she is at the top of her class, has impressive credentials, and wrote him a fan letter when she was accepted into the Academy. When Jack brings up the Ripper, he says, “The Ripper is very hot right now” (Wu and Fuller 10). Jack is, of course, indicating that the Ripper is on a spree, having taken “his last two victims in six days” (Wu and Fuller 10). But I can’t help but think of Zoolander every time I hear Jack make this remark. “Ooooh, that Ripper – he’s so hot right now…” And let’s be honest, if there’s anyone who could pull off a perfect “Blue Steel,” it’s Mads Mikkelsen.

Miriam impresses Jack with her assessment of the Ripper – not a “true sociopath,” but a killer with “some of the characteristics of what they call a sociopath,” but that in truth, “they don’t know what else to label him” (Wu and Fuller 10). Jack then begins briefing Miriam on the case and we are flashed back to the present and find ourselves sitting with Alana and Will in Frederick Chilton’s office.

Alana and Will are both there to interview Gideon – they will be conducting their interviews separately and then comparing notes. Chilton is “convinced” Gideon is the Ripper (when he knows damned well he’s not), Will is convinced Gideon is NOT the Ripper – Alana is unsure. Chilton informs Alana that even though she only had two sessions with Gideon when he was first admitted to the BSHCI, Gideon has “given [her] a lot of thought” since then (Wu and Fuller 12). It ups the creep factor and of course mirrors the novel Red Dragon, like much of this scene does, except that the inmate is Hannibal Lecter and the person he’s “given a lot of thought to” is Will Graham. Hannibal thinking a lot about Will is deep canon. Always has been. Always will be.

Alana goes into interview Gideon first – when she does, the script indicates, “The STEEL DOOR of the maximum security section closed behind Alana Bloom. She hears the bolt slide home” (Wu and Fuller 13).

I’m always deeply thrilled at how often the writers of Hannibal return to the “Forward to a Fatal Interview” from Harris’ Red Dragon and snatch little phrases from it they leave like glistening Easter eggs for fans to find. This is one such bejeweled egg – a Faberge of one, in fact. This forward is about how Thomas Harris came to create the characters of Will Graham, Clarice Starling, and most importantly, Hannibal Lecter. In the final paragraph, he says, “When in the winter of 1979 I entered the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane and the great metal door crashed closed behind me, little did I know what waited at the end of the corridor; how seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home” (XIII).

An adaptation is a beautiful thing when you have such beautiful source material to work with. I am forever fascinated by what different filmmakers and actors have done with the Hannibal canon, but we cannot, should not, ever forget the mind that created it and created such compelling characters that withstand the test of time and are enriched every time a new generation of writers and viewers return to them.

The interviews between Alana and Gideon and Will and Gideon are now intercut with each other, a wonderful technique that allows the viewers to compare and contrast for themselves, the differences and similarities between Alana and Will in their questioning, the differences between Gideon’s reactions to Alana and to Will. The most important fact that seems to arise from the interview is when Will says to Gideon about the death of Nurse Shell, “Brutalization of the body was done posthumously. The Chesapeake Ripper usually does that sort of thing during, not after” (Wu and Fuller 15). Will never buys Gideon as the Ripper. His other murders were spontaneous, not planned. Gideon is not an artist; he’s a plagiarist. What Will can’t figure out is why Gideon is copping to murders he didn’t commit.

We begin Act Two with Jack Crawford arriving unannounced at Hannibal’s office, just as the Doctor is about to leave for the day. Hannibal asks if Jack was just “in the neighborhood?” – Jack answers, “Something like that” (Wu and Fuller 16). This line is one of those TV/film chestnuts that you hear over and over and it never actually happens in real life. I have never in my life had someone show up at my door saying they were “just in the neighborhood.” Just like I have never had a cat suddenly jump on me from some unseen elevated position when I am in a darkened alleyway or corridor and things feel all spooky. It’s film logic. It’s kooky, but it works.

Bella is out of town and Jack has come to Hannibal to pry some sort of information out of him about Bella’s cancer – how she’s feeling, what she’s saying, what she thinks – all of which she is not telling Jack and all of which Hannibal cannot tell Jack due to doctor-patient confidentiality. Jack becomes angry. Their conversation is enlightening with regards to Hannibal’s character:

JACK CRAWFORD: You talk to me about Will Graham.

HANNIBAL: Will Graham isn’t officially my patient. We have conversations.

JACK CRAWFORD: What do you consider this?

HANNIBAL: Desperate coping.

                                                                                    (Wu and Fuller 17)

The line here – “desperate coping” – is such a wonderful illustration of how accurately Hannibal is portrayed as having some sociopathic tendencies or at least the tendencies of a narcissist. Throughout the series, Hannibal shows how he can go cold at a moment’s notice – how he can so easily shift from a seemingly caring, compassionate individual to a nightmare of stone-faced, murder-eyed calm. It’s terrifying. I was once very much in love with a man who could do this – he was not a murderer, but he could go dead-eyed and cold on you like this in seconds – and you never knew when it was coming. It scared the shit out of me.

            Some might say that Hannibal’s line here is compassionate, that he feels for Jack and his attempts to handle the imminent death of his wife – but I think the line is meant to cut Jack to the quick – he slices right into the meat of Jack’s pain here – as if to say, “Yeah, your wife’s dying. Pull it together, wimp.”

            It is canon that Hannibal prods people to cause pain – it is entirely for his own pleasure. A good example is from The Silence of the Lambs. When Hannibal meets with Senator Martin, supposedly to tell her the “real name” of Buffalo Bill (ha ha), he makes a cutting remark about the Senator breastfeeding her daughter when she was a baby. Then this happens: “When her pupils darkened, Dr. Lecter took a single sip of her pain and found it exquisite. That was enough for today” (201).

            The man drinks pain. What else is there to say?

            Then Hannibal immediately “salves” the wound he has created (“Salve” is the word used in the script directions) – saying “I’ll offer this one insight: she thinks she married the right guy” (Wu and Fuller 17). See Hannibal playing with Jack? Always playing.

            Jack then says, “I look at her side of the bed and wonder if she’s going to die there or where she’ll die and I feel myself going uncomfortably numb” (Wu and Fuller 18). I believe this to be a reference to Jack’s actual, canon death that Thomas Harris wrote for him in the novel, Hannibal. It is a death that I completely understand but hate like fire because I think a character like Jack deserved a lot better. I feel that Bryan was writing a better end for Jack.

            The end in question is as follows. Clarice Starling has already been drugged and hypnotized, pulled into a strange “relationship” with Hannibal – they live in Buenos Aires together under assumed names. Clarice finds out that Jack has died from the FBI website. Apparently, “after Crawford was home for a month from the hospital, the chest pains came again in the night. Instead of calling an ambulance and going through it all again, he chose simply to roll over to the solace of his late wife’s side of the bed” (483).

            I understand it, but dammit Jack deserves better. I believe Bryan was going to give him better. At least he gets to go to Italy and kick Hannibal’s ass. At least he gets another chance.

            Jack and Hannibal have a conversation about loss, which leads Hannibal to ask, “Who else couldn’t you save, Jack?” (Wu and Fuller 18). Once again, Hannibal pokes at the wound, tugs at the scab. We know full well that Hannibal has Miriam Lass hidden in a damp, darkened oubliette of a well in a secret farmhouse – all wet and cold with a missing arm in a dirty nightgown and in desperate need of some wet wipes and dry shampoo. We know this – which means all of this questioning about “the lost trainee” is just Hannibal enjoying himself, just Hannibal savoring Jack’s pain. I really do think he lets Miriam live because he likes her – (the same reason book/film Hannibal lets Clarice live – she’s a “deep roller”) – but I also think he lets Miriam live solely to give her back to Jack – just like he gives Bella back to Jack when he thwarts her suicide attempt. Just as he takes Abigail away from Will, then gives her back, then takes her away again – Lucy and the football. Hannibal is “curious” what will happen, but also because he loves the pain. Pain is so much more than hum-drum everyday life – and Hannibal doesn’t like mundane pain – like the worries and neurotic spoutings of Franklyn Froidveaux or Neal Frank, no. Hannibal wants Greek tragedy level pain – a boy who wants to be a killing monster, a girl who wants to kill the brother who has been raping her all her life, a man watching his wife die, a man torturing himself with guilt because he lost another girl, and Will Graham, whose pain is beautiful in its kaleidoscopic, ever-changing qualities – it is always the pain of the killer he is profiling, the victim he is investigating, and sometimes, Will’s own deeply buried pain, abandoned by mom, distant from dad, outcast at school, outcast among colleagues, always alone and beautiful, always alone and confused – in terms of pain, Will is 31 Flavors.

            At this point, Jack refuses to tell Hannibal about Miriam Lass – but later on he breaks. The breaking is always Hannibal’s favorite part.

            We are now flashed back again to three years earlier; we see Miriam and Jack surveying the Wound Man tableaux rendered by the authentic Chesapeake Ripper. The victim is lashed to his worktable, and all of his tools from the peg board on which they once hung are dug into the man’s body in varying places all over the corpse.

            This is not an unfamiliar moment. Jack with a whip-smart profiler assessing the carnage of a crime scene; he has also cleared the way for that profiler by sending all “the others” – the crime scene techs and photographers and forensic creatures -- away. Jack seems to understand that the brilliant ones need to be unfettered by noise and stimuli, even before Will Graham joins his pack. Miriam concludes several important things about both the murder and the murderer, namely that the victim was awake during the attack, and that the Ripper was selective about the organs he harvested. Miriam calls these organs “surgical trophies” – in this way, she is half right (Wu and Fuller 19). It is Will who will determine that the Ripper’s trophies are edible and et. The Ripper is a medical doctor, male, and – and I love this line – “exotic somehow” (Wu and Fuller 19). I believe the “exotic somehow” is meant to refer to the fact that Hannibal Lecter is European. I assume Europeans do not consider themselves “exotic,” but most Americans are flabbergasted by anyone with an accent different than theirs, so… If “exotic” is referring to the fact that the Ripper is being played by masterful and devastatingly beautiful actor Mads Mikkelsen, then yes, he's EXOTIC AS FUCK. Point is, he’s not your run-of-the-mill American. He owns a cravat – more than one probably. He probably has a bidet – he calls sedans “saloons” – and he buys all his table linens and china at Christofle. Miriam compliments Jack’s “peculiar cleverness” and we move out of the scene back into the morgue at the BAU, where Team Sassy Science is examining Nurse Shell’s body and Will is observing (Wu and Fuller 20).

            The team is discussing the similarities between Nurse Shell’s murder and the Wound Man murder. They are attempting to rule Abel Gideon IN or OUT. They are unsure how Gideon could have known about the wound patterns the Ripper inflicted on his victims because those details were kept away from the press. Will says, “I see the Ripper but I don’t… feel the Ripper. He’s an artist. This is… plagiarism” (Wu and Fuller 21). Will has his finger on Hannibal’s pulse from the very beginning of the show – whether it be Hannibal as the Copy Cat or Hannibal as the Ripper – when Will finally realizes the two are one and the same, it seems like something that has been on the tip of his tongue since the very beginning. And Will is also very correct in assessing that the real Chesapeake Ripper is not going to let Gideon take credit for his work.

            We end Act Two with Jack Crawford at home, asleep in his bed alone, his wife still out of town at a NATO summit. The phone rings. Jack shakes awake and picks up the phone. The clock reads 2:47 A.M. Clocks are an important motif in Hannibal, especially in Season 1. I will address what I think the motif means when I get deeper into Season 1, when Will’s encephalitis begins to worsen, but needless to say – clocks are humankind’s desperate attempt to not only measure but control time – and quite frankly, time rarely cooperates.

            When Jack answers the phone, he doesn’t recognize the voice at first – or perhaps he doesn’t believe what he is hearing. The words said by the caller are important because it is these words used to torment Jack for the rest of the episode:

MIRIAM LASS’S VOICE: Jack… Jack… Jack… It’s Miriam. I don’t know where I am. I can’t see anything. I was so wrong. I was so wrong. Please… Jack… I don’t want to die like this.                                                            (Wu and Fuller 20).

And then the line goes dead.

            We start Act Three back at the BAU. Beverly Katz has checked all the online databases for telecom systems and says she cannot find a trace of any call to Jack’s home at 2:47 AM. As Brian Zeller continues to question Jack’s skills of perception and memory (that maybe Jack dreamed it, that he doesn’t remember what Miriam sounds like), Jimmy Price points out, “whoever called could have tapped in from that little box outside your house. Or the junction in your neighborhood. There would be no trace signal to track” (Wu and Fuller 23). We, the viewer, know this is exactly what the Ripper – Hannibal Lecter – has done, solely because he is Hannibal Lecter, the James Bond/MacGyver of serial killers. He is a psychiatrist, a medical doctor and a surgeon; he speaks/reads/writes at least four languages that we know of. He is a world-class chef, butcher, snail cultivator, beer brewer – he can tie knots, sew, handle a variety of weapons. He can fist-fight – he can ballroom dance. He can give lectures on Dante in the medieval Italian. Obviously, he knows how to tap a phone line. I also feel very certain that Hannibal can fly a plane, hack into any computer (although he finds it distasteful), make his own soap (Fight Club style), and he knows at least one martial art, if not more.

            Incidentally, tapping into phone lines is also something Francis Dolarhyde can do – both later in Season 3 when he taps into the phone line at Hannibal’s office and calls Hannibal in the BSHCI with the call masked as Hannibal’s lawyer. But, according to Bryan, the Marlow murder in “Apéritif” is one of Francis’ early murders, and he had to tap into the Marlow phone line to record Mrs. Marlow’s call to the security company. It occurs to me that being a serial killer must create endless hobbies, solely based on things you have to learn, like phone tapping, lock picking, glass cutting, tree-climbing, and “this-is-my-designing.”

            Will points out that the 2:47 call obviously didn’t come from the BSHCI, and therefore, could not have been Abel Gideon. When Brian Zeller again suggests that perhaps Jack dreamed the call, Jack shouts at him, “I know when I’m awake” (Wu and Fuller 24). The script then indicates, “Will reacts to that, not always sure he knows the same” (Wu and Fuller 24). Poor Will’s encephalitis is worsening. It only serves to isolate him from others who might possibly help him. And the only person he thinks can help him is actively worsening his condition. I forgive him later, but from this point through the end of Season 1, I am mad as hell at Hannibal. My loyalty is to Will. Hannibal not only doesn’t help my poor baby, he purposely alienates Will from the people who could help him. Grrrrrrr…

            Next, we see Will in his classroom at Quantico. Soon, he hears the clacking of hooves on the floor of the corridor. When he looks up, he sees the Black Stag sidling toward him – then this vision morphs into the reality of the circumstance, Alana Bloom and Jack Crawford walking into the room. Jack floats the idea of baiting the Ripper with a well-placed story in the media, a story that will anger the Ripper because the reporter will heavily suggest that Abel Gideon is the REAL Chesapeake Ripper. Will thinks the scheme is dangerous. He says, “You might push the Ripper to kill again just to prove he isn’t in a hospital for the criminally insane;” to which Jack replies, “I have to push, Will” (Wu and Fuller 26). Jack’s statement is very telling – not just about his relentless pursuit of the Ripper, but of himself as a person. Jack does indeed “push.” He pushes everyone. He pushes Will so hard he practically has a nervous breakdown. He pushes him into the hands of the Ripper himself. He pushes Miriam so hard, he pushes her into that same man’s hands. He pushes his wife so hard, she flees to that same man for advice.

            Considering that Hannibal and Jack don’t officially meet until Episode 1, Hannibal is already WAAAY involved in Jack’s life and already deeply embedded in Jack’s head. It’s funny upon their first meeting in “Apéritif,” that Jack is meeting his nemesis and doesn’t know it. The man who took Miriam from him, who will take Will from him, who will take Beverly from him, who will almost take Jack’s own life. Talk about “a bolt of fate sliding home.”

            Will is disgusted with the idea that Jack is going to cahoot with Freddie Lounds, but you know how Jack has to push, so the next scene reveals Freddie Lounds entering a conference room at Quantico to meet with Jack, Will, and Alana. Jack and Alana are amiable and friendly to Freddie; Will is cold and bitchy (and insanely hot…) Jack tells Freddie he wants her to confirm her story about Gideon being the Ripper. Alana promises to talk to Chilton to get Freddie an interview with Gideon. In one of my favorite of Freddie’s lines, she says, “Not to snap bubblegum and crack wise, but what’s my angle? Is he the Chesapeake Ripper or you just want me to tell everybody he is” (Wu and Fuller 28). Jack suggests he could be because Gideon is a surgeon. The three then discuss the fabled list of professions which psychopaths most favor – journalists and law enforcement being two more. I often wonder if there is also a list of professions that psychos LEAST inhabit. Like, in the bowels of the BAU, a criminal profiler is saying, “Well, we know he’s not a pet psychic, a cupcake baker, or a crossword puzzle author, so we can rule those out! Thank God!”

            We are then transported to the high security sector of the Baltimore Hospital for the Criminally Insane and see stylishly dressed and coiffed Freddie Lounds entering the prison and introducing herself to Abel Gideon.

            When Freddie’s story is finished and published to Tattlecrime.com, we then see Hannibal at his desk with his little tablet reading it – his face as close to “bothered” as you ever see Hannibal come. This is the same face he makes when Franklyn leaves a soiled tissue on his end table, when Mason Verger stabs his chair. I like to call it Hannibal’s “I’m About To Cut a Bitch” face. This is one thing I will say for Mads Mikkelsen over and over again – he acts with every part of his body, including his beautiful face. Fannibals love to discuss Mads’ microexpressions – the little twitches at the corners of his eyes, the dead-eyed, yet sarcastic stares, the tears that appear from nowhere, the minute turnings of his lips into wry smiles – and the most prized being the MIKKELSNARL, the King of All Expressions. The look on his face when reading Freddie Lounds’ story makes you fear for her. Amazingly, she survives. It’s actually insane.

            We then see Dr. Chilton and Alana dining with Hannibal at his home. Hannibal says that the dish is a lamb tongue served with Duxelle sauce and mushrooms, created by famous French chef Auguste Escoffier. After some tongue wagging amongst the diners, Hannibal says to Chilton, “Don’t give me ideas. Your tongue is very feisty and as this evening has already proven, it’s nice to have an old friend for dinner” (Wu and Fuller 30). This line is, of course, a tribute to the ending scene of The Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal’s phone call to Clarice in which he implies he will be soon killing and eating the bumbling Dr. Chilton. As previously stated, Fuller’s Chilton stubbornly survives every season.

            Alana, Frederick, and Hannibal begin discussing Abel Gideon. Frederick proudly claims Gideon to be the Ripper. Alana begins questioning Frederick and asks, “Is it possible that you inadvertently planted the suggestion in Gideon’s mind that he was the Ripper?” (Wu and Fuller 31). Frederick replies, “Psychic driving is unethical” (Wu and Fuller 32).

            I have to admit that I NEVER heard the term “psychic driving” before Hannibal. Truly, it sounds like a Cronenberg video game for the Atari 2600. Hannibal says that psychic driving is allowable “in certain circumstances” and actually seems to arouse some gentle suspicion from both Alana and Frederick (Wu and Fuller 32). They don’t seem suspicious that Hannibal is the Ripper – we are a looooong way from that – but they both seem a little shocked that Hannibal might condone the practice, even in narrow cases. Hannibal so desperately wants to play, I think he actually overplays his hand here. He so rarely gives anything away and usually only does so on purpose – perhaps Hannibal’s admission is just to facilitate the conversation Hannibal has in the kitchen with Frederick, in which he states that he believes Frederick already has “psychically driven” Gideon, but it seems a little haphazard to me. Perhaps he’s still amped up because Freddie Lounds has landed a hit on him.

            Speaking of Gideon, we now see him in his cell at the BSHCI, this time being questioned by Jack, who states point blank to the prisoner, “You’re not the Chesapeake Ripper” (Wu and Fuller 33). Gideon tries to convince Jack, tries weakly to explain why he, supposedly as the Ripper, takes surgical trophies, why he didn’t display the bodies of his wife and her family, and so on. Gideon ascertains that Jack is not concerned with those prior crimes.

            DR. GIDEON: But you’re not here to talk about my wife or even the night nurse.

            JACK CRAWFORD: What am I here to talk about?

            DR. GIDEON: Your trainee. Miriam something.

                                                                                                (Wu and Fuller 34)

This minor detail, the fact that Gideon does not know Miriam’s last name, proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that Gideon is not, cannot be the Chesapeake Ripper. The real Ripper, Hannibal Lecter, has a meticulous memory palace built in his mind. Thomas Harris explains the grandiose proportions of the Doctor’s psychic estate in both Hannibal and Hannibal Rising. In Hannibal, Harris even treats us to a description of the palace’s interior. It has a “Great Hall of the Seasons… [a] hall of looms and textiles…[and a] Hall of Addresses,” just to name a few wings (252-254). Hannibal actually retrieves Clarice Starling’s address from this cognitive library, buried in a mental construction that Harris says, “is vast, even by medieval standards” (252).

            I know for a fact that Hannibal Lecter remembers the name of every victim he ever killed, how he killed them, what organs/limbs he took, what dish he made with them, and how they tasted. There is no way he forgets a victim’s name. With the exception of the incidental goons from the Questura in Season 3 or Mason Verger’s goons, Hannibal knows the name of every victim he chooses. No way he would forget Miriam’s last name. Gideon is an amateur.

            As their conversation continues, Jack’s phone rings. He walks out of Gideon’s cell block to answer the call as the caller ID announces the number as “HOME.” Jack misses the call and redials. He believes the caller to be his wife, having returned early from her trip. Whoever answers the phone (you know who), then plays the same haunting recorded message – Miriam Lass scared, alone, and begging Jack to help her.

            Immediately, we are in Jack Crawford’s bedroom, where Team Sassy Science is pulling and processing evidence from Jack’s bedroom carpet, bedside phone, and even his wife’s pillow. Will is once again observing. Jimmy Price pulls three sets of prints from the phone – the first two sets are identified as Jack’s and his wife’s. The third set is later identified as belonging to Miriam Lass. Beverly even finds a long blonde hair on Bella’s pillow. Will, of course, asks questions: “Did Miriam Lass know where you live?... Did you know you were sending her after [the Chesapeake Ripper?]…” and then states, “Whoever made that phone call thinks you were close to Miriam Lass and feel responsible for her death;” to which Jack replies, “She was my trainee. I am responsible for her death” (Wu and Fuller 36). Jimmy Price floats the idea that Miriam may be alive since her prints are on the phone. Jack cannot accept the idea.

            This new evidence spins Jack into another flashback – the circumstance of Jack’s last meeting with Miriam – the last time he saw her alive. They are back at Quantico – Miriam has skipped a class called “Exclusionary Rules of Search and Seizure” to ask Jack’s opinion about a report she left on his desk (Wu and Fuller 37). Jack seems needlessly cruel to Miriam in this scene. He tells her “go back to class” and “Frustrated, Lass? Better start forming a callus or frustration is going to wear you through” (Wu and Fuller 37).

            This is perhaps one of the reasons Jack feels so guilty about Miriam’s death, or what he believes to be, death. In their last conversation, he wasn’t very nice. This is one of the unfortunate things about life. The last time I saw my father, the night before he died, the last thing I said to him was, “Dad, don’t eat all that ice cream.” My father was a diabetic and my mother and we children fought him tooth and nail to eat better. Towards the end of his life, he merely circumvented us – he hid Snickers bars in the clothes hamper, peanut butter crackers in the visor in his truck – he finally just broke down and started buying all the sweets he wanted himself since my mother refused to buy them. He was unstoppable. The last time I saw him, he was digging into a half-gallon of Blue Bell chocolate ice cream, and so I told him not to eat it all. All he said to me was, “Bye.”

            If I had known that was the last time I would ever see him alive, I would have told him that I loved him. I would have told him that even though he was a shitty dad, abusive and obstreperous, that I still loved him, and I always would. I have to content myself with the idea that either my dad knew that I loved him or he just didn’t care.

            Miriam’s report makes a smart but dangerous suggestion in the hunt for the Chesapeake Ripper. She explains, “If the Chesapeake Ripper is a surgeon, we should look at medical records of all the known victims” (Wu and Fuller 38). Jack points out that this search would obviously be illegal – medical records fall under very tight privacy laws. Then, the following conversation proves yet another thing to the viewer about Jack’s character:

JACK CRAWFORD: It’s one thing for a trainee to go poking around private medical records without a warrant, very much another if “The Guru” did it…

MIRIAM LASS: Better for a trainee to ask for forgiveness than an FBI agent to ask for permission?

            JACK CRAWFORD: In my experience.

                                                                                                (Wu and Fuller 38).

There is something to be said of the fact that this is exactly the way that Jack “loses” people. This strategy is how he loses Will, how he loses Beverly – sending subordinates to do things he can’t do. I suppose it is a comment on larger patriarchal culture – how men in power get little people to do their dirty work for them – everything from cleaning their toilets to fighting their wars. It is not lost on me that two of the people that Jack “loses” this way are women. Strong, stubborn, beautiful women who went off doing things Jack couldn’t do because of “rules.” I love Jack Crawford with all my heart – but he should feel guilty. The loss of Miriam Lass IS very much his fault.

            After this conversation, Miriam wanders off to begin her search of the medical records and we are flashed back into the present where we see Alana Bloom again at the BSHCI, again interviewing Dr. Gideon. Two scenes here at the end of Act Four and the beginning of Act Five, one where Will has a conversation with Chilton, and one where there is a lockdown in the prison were cut from the final episode, so I shall skip them.

            The scene we alight upon is Jack, back in the present, walking down a hallway at the Academy, and once again his phone rings. Jack accepts the grim possibility that the call might once again be the Ripper taunting him and answers it. It brings us to one of the most interesting and important locales in the series, the abandoned observatory. The real location is the David Dunlap Observatory in Richmond Hill, Ontario, Canada. We see the observatory several times in the series – it is always a place of gruesome revelations.

            We see Will, Beverly, and Jack approaching the building – Beverly explaining that the last call Jack received from the Ripper “traced here. Or within a 100 feet of here” (Wu and Fuller 42). Jack then redials the last number the Ripper called from – one that wasn’t masked or anonymous. They hear a distant ringing coming from inside the observatory.

            They enter the building, and underneath a bunch of discarded equipment, at the base of the main telescope, they find a severed arm, the hand holding the ringing cell phone. A note on a card beneath the arm says, “What do you see?” (Wu and Fuller 43). The viewer understands that this is Miriam Lass’ arm – it explains the fingerprints on the phone in Jack’s bedroom.

            I must say, I do find the image kind of funny… Hannibal in his squeaky murder suit – which I affectionately call his “garment bag” because DAMMIT that’s what it looks like – a garment bag with sleeves turned sideways – in Jack’s bedroom, opening a plastic bag and tweezing out one of Miriam’s head hairs, laying it on Bella’s pillow – making the call from Jack’s bedside phone and then laying Miriam’s decapitated hand over the receiver – pressing the finger pads down with his own to make sure the prints stick. I always imagine Hannibal waving Miriam’s arm around with a dramatic flourish when he’s done – like some morbid maestro conducting an insane symphony all of his own composition.

            The episode ends with a flashback – Miriam Lass showing up at Hannibal’s office door to question him. The Wound Man victim was a “Jeremy Olmstead” Hannibal had treated for an arrow wound in his thigh the man received while bow hunting – when Hannibal worked in the emergency room, most likely at Maryland Misericordia Hospital in Baltimore. Hannibal says he doesn’t remember the man (he totally remembers) – but under the guise of going to retrieve his notes from the years he worked in the ER, he leaves the room, removes his shoes, and then in his stocking feet creeps up behind Miriam, just as she discovers Hannibal’s own Wound Man drawing and begins to realize the trouble she is in. Hannibal begins choking Miriam – this is the episode’s second installment of “THINGS THAT HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING INSANELY HOT.”

            The script describes the scene as follows:

Hannibal is like a column of marble, motionless as Miriam twists and throws, trying in vain to knock him off balance. She reaches behind her head, clawing at Hannibal but he presses his face almost sensually against the back of her neck to protect face and eyes from her slashing fingernails. Miriam’s eyes roll, defeated, tear-filled, knowing she’s going to die. She begins to go limp in Hannibal’s arms.

                                                                                    (Wu and Fuller 48).

This scene is an homage to the same scene in Red Dragon when Hannibal attacks Will from behind, just as Will spies a medical book on Hannibal’s bookshelves that contains the Wound Man drawing. Will’s gut is slashed by Hannibal in this attack – in Fuller’s Hannibal, Will’s gut is spared until the end of Season 2.

            This is why I adore Bryan’s Hannibal so much – it is not just an adaptation; it is a remix. Scenes are moved and laid in the hands of different characters. Conversations are shifted – things Hannibal said to Clarice, he says to Will – characters are gender-swapped or their fates are interchanged. Much of Bryan’s remix remains the same – like the tiger scene between Reba and Francis in Season 3 – but so much of it is recut, reimagined, broken down and put back together. Hannibal is an artist of deconstruction and reconstruction and so is Bryan. I still say and always will that Hannibal is the best show ever on television. Good God, it is that fucking good.

            But, you ask, “JESUS CHRIST! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET TO THE LESSON?” I shall now deliver.

            The lesson takes place in the scene just before Miriam’s attack. After having discovered Miriam’s decapitated arm, Jack is badly rattled and goes to see Hannibal at his office. When questioned by Hannibal as to what he believes the Ripper’s motives are for trying to convince him that Miriam is alive, Jack responds “Hope. The Ripper wanted to cloud my vision in the fog of hope;” Hannibal then says, “It can sometimes be brave to allow yourself hope” (Wu and Fuller 44).

            Hannibal then asks Jack when he gave up hope that Miriam would be found alive and then makes the leap from one woman in Jack’s life to another saying, “Don’t give up hope for your wife. Not yet” (Wu and Fuller 44). At the end of the scene, Hannibal coaxes Jack into telling him about Miriam, even asking what her name was. I have to say it, but making Jack tell him, as if he is absolutely unknowing of the details, about Miriam Lass and her disappearance seems almost masturbatory to me – Jack is talking dirty to Hannibal and doesn’t even know it. Hannibal sits there, absorbing every minutiae, every crease of pain in Jack’s face, every flutter of guilt in his eyes, enjoying every moment knowing exactly where Miriam is, and how she disappeared. Perhaps it is in this discussion with Jack that Hannibal decides to spare Miriam’s life. Perhaps that was always his plan. Hannibal couldn’t have known he would be called in to consult with Jack on his beautiful, but twitchy profiler, so who knows how long he was willing to wait, keeping Miriam alive, bleeding her for info that would bring him directly into Jack’s domain. All of it is devious and cruel.

            It is perhaps the cruelest of things for Hannibal to talk to Jack about hope. The viewer knows that Hannibal is the one who has given Jack this “false kind” of hope (Wu and Fuller 44). It is important to remember that on a first time viewing, an audience member is not aware that Miriam is still alive. Just as on a first time viewing, the audience does not know that Abigail Hobbs is still alive after her ear turns up in Will’s gullet and then his sink. This “give the desperate loved ones a piece of their missing people and taunt them with hope” like a sadistic kidnapper, but one with no asking price, is a pattern Hannibal uses twice in the series – both times to manipulate people he cares for – to spin them in circles and watch the motion – no doubt in this spinning, Hannibal searches for weak spots, but he also delights in their pain and confusion.

            It is interesting to think that the people Hannibal seems to care most about are the ones he plays with in this way. Will, Jack, Bedelia – he offers hope; he yanks it away. He lies and lies until suddenly, at the precise moment it will make the greatest impact, he tells the truth. A colossal tease is Hannibal Lecter. But he plays with these people because they interest him enough to invest time and effort into them, into both their pain and their pleasure.

            Hannibal pokes at Jack’s hope not just about Miriam, but about Bella. As a surgeon, Hannibal knows the hope for Bella is even more of a longshot than for Miriam. But he wants Jack to hope because without hope, there is nothing to lose. It is best that Jack, Will, Bedelia, Alana – that all of them have something to hope for, something to lose. They will all become truly dangerous to Hannibal if they don’t. Which is basically what happens with most of Season 2 to Will, and for Jack and Alana in Season 3 – vengeance arcs – when Hannibal has stripped them of hope.

            Our lesson resides in Hannibal’s line: “It can sometimes be brave to allow yourself hope” (Wu and Fuller 44). Leaving aside Hannibal’s qualifying statement of “sometimes,” the most important diction in this line is of “brave” and “allow.”

            Mostly, we allow hope for others. For a sick friend, a family down on their luck, a whole group, a whole country – a sports team or a heroic dog – we can give our hope to them. That makes sense. And it feels good.

            But often, hope is not a thing we are willing to give ourselves. It seems like something only for other people, like compliments or compassion or birthday cakes. Hannibal says it’s “brave” to allow ourselves hope because when our lives are in abject turmoil, hope is the last thing we want to give ourselves because… hope hurts. When things don’t turn out as we want – when we don’t get the promotion – we lose the contest – we fail the test – we screw up the date – or worse yet, our loved one dies – when we crash and burn, utterly crash and burn – we remember the hope we had beforehand and say, “You fool. You stupid fucking fool. How did you even dare to hope?”

            And so the lesson, dear reader, is this – as he often is – Hannibal is right (the bastard…)

            It is brave. Let yourself have it.

            ALLOW YOURSELF HOPE. BE BRAVE.

            I know it seems easy for me to say. It’s not. It’s hard for me too. Some days, I just can’t do it. But you and me… we’ve got to keep trying. I deserve hope. And so do you.

            It seems impossible is this world full of pain and death and smiling villains.

            But if Jack Crawford can muster hope from a decapitated arm and a dying wife who won’t talk to him, you and I can too.

            Here endeth the lesson…

References:

Fuller, Bryan and Steve Lightfoot. Writers. “Kaiseki.” Hannibal, season 2, episode 1, Chiswick Productions, 2014.

Harris, Thomas. “Foreword to a Fatal Interview.” Red Dragon, by Harris, Berkley, 2000, pp. IX-XIII).

Harris, Thomas. Hannibal. New York, Delacorte Press, 1999.

Harris, Thomas. The Silence of the Lambs. New York, St. Martin’s Press, 1990.

“Judges 8:27.” King James Bible Online, www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/

Judges-8-27.

Wu, Kai Yu and Bryan Fuller. Writers. “Entrée.” Hannibal, season 1, episode 6, Chiswick Productions, 2012.

#lessonsofhannibal #hannibal #fannibals #fannibalfamilyforever

[tenebraevesper]

Analyzer - Félix & Emotion, Part 3 (Miraculous Ladybug)

So, yeah... We have reached the final two episodes of Félix being relevant in Miraculous Ladybug, and I'm not counting Episode 26: Re-creation (The Last Day - Part 2), mainly because it was just a cameo. So, Part 3 would only cover Episode 19: Pretension and Episode 24: Representation, fulfilling two roles: Kagami's Love Interest and Exposition Fairy.

For this, I will do a quick recap of the events that occur in these two episodes, as well add what I would've written instead.

So, let's finish this!

Episode 19: Pretension starts off... sometime after the events of Emotion and apparently, Maribug and Adrichat are not interested in pursuing Félix, who is currently spying on Kagami. Kagami in turn is trying to convince her mother to not see her and Adrien as a couple (why am I getting flashbacks to all those secret eugenics cult theories?), with Tomoe scolding her for being "a slave to her emotions". Have I mentioned that I hate this woman?

Argos gets pissed off by seeing Kagami being treated like that, breaks the roof of the car and kidnaps Kagami. I suppose that's one way of escaping a toxic parent. Once they're gone, Tomoe quickly calls Gabriel to recover the Miraculous of the Peacock, because apparently, Gabriel still has no clue where Félix is hiding (hint: his own house in London), so I suppose he was keeping an eye out for him. In classic villain speech, Monarch claims how Félix is a monster who was the one endangering their children - you got no right speaking, you terrorist - and Tomoe gets akumatized and goes after Argos and Kagami.

Speaking of the two, they're at the top of the Eiffel Tower, and Kagami's first instinct is to go for the chair.

You go girl!

Argos quickly de-transforms to show her he's harmless, and as Félix, tells her he's not his enemy, and that he just wants to talk to her. Kagami is still on guard, wondering what he wants to tell her, and then we get this conversation:

Kagami: What is it you want to tell me?! Félix: I... I don't know. But ever since I saw you, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I've felt that... you and I... were the same. (Kagami looks surprised.) Félix: We have so much in common, and yet, you're also so different. I've never met someone like you. Kagami: We don't even know each other! Félix: I know you. I've been following you non-stop. Kagami: Even better! You follow me, you spy on me and now you've kidnapped me to get to know me?! Félix: Uh... yes? Kagami: You are utterly incompetent at social relations. (Sighs.) You can't take someone away against their will! Félix: Sorry, I won't do it again, I... just wanted to protect you from your mother. She can't talk to you like that. (Kagami stares at him in awe and confusion.)

Yeah, this is the moment where the Féligami ship starts sailing. I will talk about it, but I gotta admire how Félix went from cunning to awkward the moment he opened his mouth to talk to Kagami.

Let's hope those puppy dog eyes will win her over.

To address the ship itself, I honestly have nothing against it, and it is a cute ship (especially when Féligami fans get their hands on it), but it's not my favorite (that one still goes to Brilix/Cursed Charm). However, I will address some of the obvious issues the writing itself created.

First of all, we do know Kagami's type being someone who is a rebel and who has the will to stand up for themselves, and Félix's penchant for mischief fits. I suppose it also helps that he looks like Adrien, whom Kagami still has feelings for... which, uh... okay, it really feels awkward, because out of context (and maybe even in context) it makes it appear as if Kagami just replaced Adrien with Félix. They look the same, and this one actually has a spine.

I do like that Kagami actually calls Félix out on how they don't know each other, and how he stalked her and kidnapped her. Now, that's a realistic reaction! However, I will address Kagami's point of them not knowing each other, and I don't blame Félix for this one, but the writing staff for thinking they can speedrun Féligami and no one will notice.

Like said, I'm cool with Féligami happening, but goddamnit, couldn't the writers have put more effort into having Kagami and Félix interact (aside from their glare in Season 4?). For example, have Kagami talk to Félix way earlier and have her realize that, while appearance-wise he and Adrien are look the same, personality-wise, they're completely different and have her question which one's she's falling for - the guy whom her mother and Gabriel set her up with, or the one who actually has the qualities she likes. Hell, that could be part of her own rebellion against her mother and the reason she breaks up with Adrien.

But yeah, this is Miraculous Ladybug we're talking about. Good character writing is almost non-existent.

As for Félix...

I'll just use the words my friend used to describe him - he's a S.I.M.P.

It's clear that he deeply admires Kagami and is so socially awkward that he thought it would be a good idea to learn more about her by stalking her and kidnapping her. *sigh* Félix, you're a lovable idiot. However, the moment he realizes that he really messed up, he apologizes, telling her how he just wanted to protect her from her mother.

Okay, before I continue, I will address that there is one glaring issues I had with this confession, and spoilers, it's not the kidnapping.

Anyways, before the conversation can continue, Matagi Gozen finds them, alongside Maribug and Adrichat, and everyone wants to save Kagami. Félix quickly transforms into Argos, dragging Kagami along for the ride and is chased by Matagi Gozen, Maribug and Adrichat, leading to a fight between the three. Kagami wants to reveal her hideout to calm down her mother, arguing with Argos how she can set herself free.

Matagi Gozen finds them, shooting an arrow at Kagami, with Argos saving her. Kagami is stunned her mother would hurt her, with Argos responding how his own father was much worse. He then breaks his fan, telling Kagami how her safety is his priority, showing once again his cunning side by spreading out the pieces of the fan to confuse Matagi Gozen. Nice job, Argos!

He and Kagami enter the sewers, with Argos de-transforming and having another conversation with her:

Kagami: I don't understand. You have the Miraculous of the peacock, why don't you create a Sentimonster to get us out of here? Félix: First of all, don't call them that. (Throws his cufflink into the sewage.) I refuse to create a being to manipulate them, control them, abuse them, and end up destroying them. (Kagami looks surprised at him) Cat Noir:(through his earpiece) I found Kagami and Félix. Félix transformed back. Now's the time. Félix: When you bring a living being into this world, you have a responsibility towards them. Your duty is to protect them, love them, help them discover the true meaning of their existence. To deprive them of that... is monstrous. Kagami: Are you talking about... yourself? Félix: I'm talking about... us. Ladybug: Félix, set Kagami free! Cat Noir: And this time, you're giving us back the Miraculous of the peacock! Kagami:(puts her arm in front of Félix, defending him) I am nobody's prisoner! Félix is not your enemy! He's like me! He doesn't know how to express himself. Everyone is wrong about him! Including me. (They smile at each other)

Okay, have you followed this conversation so far? Good, because here's my take on it.

We know now that Félix is a Sentimonster, and given how he described his own father as thousand times worse, it's clear that he suffered a lot. He hates being controlled, and after seeing someone else who is controlled just as him, he lashes out in a misguided attempt to protect Kagami. He does all the wrong things for the right reasons. It really shows just how much depth his character is.

However, remember the issue I mentioned? Yeah, the fact that Félix is suddenly in love with Kagami, AFTER discovering she's also a Sentimonster? It's a huge "yikes" moment. Like I said before, the writers decided to clearly speedrun Féligami while making a lot of unfortunate implications. I will say, it is not the worst writing I saw, but seriously, did no one think about this?

Matagi Gozen attacks them, with Félix transforming into Argos again and trusting Maribug and Adrichat to keep Kagami safe as he escapes. He later appears at Sorbonne, giving Kagami the real ring back after she gave her mother a fake one, telling her how she's now free to make her own choices. Yep, the amok is in the family ring, and from the shot of them holding hands together, they're a couple.

So, before I move on to Episode 24: Representation, I have one more observation to make. I said it before and I'll say it again, Féligami was really the writers' attempt at a speedrun and, as cute as they are together, it feels rushed, especially on Félix's end. Kagami was a complete stranger to him, but the moment he finds out she's also a Sentimonster, he obsesses over her? Yeah, Houston, we got a problem.

It appears that they're getting along quite well, though, with Kagami laughing when Argos draws a heart on her window.

I guess they spent a lot of time together off screen. Anyways, remember how I mentioned Félix also taking the role of the Exposition Fairy?

Welcome to the actual highlight of this episode! Félix and Kagami have learned that Marinette is Ladybug and decide to ask for her help. Félix cosplays as Adrien to lure her away from the party.

Honestly, I don't really think that's wonderful, because what they did is mainly breaking Marinette's heart by making her think Adrien is still around. Félix transforms into Argos again, and actually creates a Sentimonster, despite his earlier rant about how he'd never do anything like that.

Did... did the writers just sleep on that episode? Or did they decide "eh, character depth is overrated, we'll do whatever we want for the plot".

Admittedly, the Sentimonster is a tripod camera, so there is a question how "sentient" that thing is.

I'll just quickly go over the next part, which is basically Félix and Kagami doing a play in regards to all the Graham de Vanily/Agreste history.

Skipping my complaints about this being an exposition dump that could've been done during the show's early Seasons and not in one episode in Season 5, I do love how Marinette is really into the play.

We learn how Amelie married some rich heartless cowboy dude (or maybe that was just a visual to show that he was American? *shrugs*), and after her sister got pregnant (with the visual of peacock feathers in the background), her husband got pissed off.

So, after some convincing from Emilie, Gabriel gave the Amelie's husband, Colt Fathom, the Peacock Miraculous, and Félix was created out of jealousy, with the amok being placed in Félix's ring. Félix's father then falls ill, aware this was the price he was paying for Félix's existence, and sees him as a monster.

Félix himself explains how he didn't understand why his father didn't love him and why he felt obligated to do whatever Colt demanded, no matter how unfair they were. If he became fond of someone who displeased his father, Colt would tear them away from him, or rather, order Félix to end things. Eventually, he realized that his life was connected to the ring when it cracked and almost destroyed him, and he could only recover it after his father died, along with his freedom.

That's when he understood that the Miraculous gave him life and it could take it away, so he made it his mission to recover it, even saying how he went to Gabriel to retrieve it and describe the events of Season 4 and Season 5.

Honestly, it's genuinely tragic and sad just through how much stuff Félix had to go through, day by day fearing for his own life, being hated by his own father and learning not to trust anyone until he met Kagami. It explains his behavior in the past Seasons, even why he only took one ring from Gabriel, because apparently, Adrien's amok was in both of the rings, something Félix wouldn't know.

Anyways, we leave these two lovebirds doing what they want, and myself with my final thoughts.

In my personal opinion, Félix is a really solid character, who does undergo character development, even if it's rushed. He's also a tragic character, who was doing the wrong thing for the right reasons and messed up in execution. He's also a deeply traumatized teenager who had to deal with an identity crisis on his own and the fact that he might cease to exist with a snap of a finger. He's intelligent and cunning, but also socially awkward and has a sweet and theatric side, and he also moves the plot forward every time he appears.

SO WHY THE HELL ISN'T HE THE MAIN CHARACTER?!

*sighs*

I went over how bad the Miraculous Ladybug writing is several times, and I'm not gonna repeat myself here. I will add my own version of how I would've written the events Post-Emotion.

For starters, after Félix learns that he can trust Maribug and Adrichat, he seeks them out to talk to them in private, revealing that Gabriel Agreste is Monarch. Hell, he could even pull another switcheroo to infiltrate the Agreste mansion as Adrien to gather more information. Even if Gabriel is more alert, he'd still be fooled by that. Instead of making it a battle royale where the heroes react to Gabriel's attack, have it be them the ones who go confront Monarch head on. At least, that way, Adrichat would participate in the final battle.

Anyways, these were my thoughts on Félix, and if you want to see how I'd write his character... well, his PV Ladybug self, then check out my story Up Ladybug and leave a comment.

Until next time!

Links:

#Analyzer - Félix & Emotion, Part 2 (Miraculous Ladybug)

#Up Ladybug (Masterlist)

#Ten's Thoughts #Up Ladybug Analyzer #felix agreste #felix graham de vanily #felix fathom #duusu #kagami tsurugi #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #gabriel agreste #ml salt #ml writing salt #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug pv #gabriel salt #feligami #ladybug #chat noir #argos

[autismsupermusicalassassin]

Take the moon baby to work🌙

plot: with no babysitter or Layla to babysit Isaac, the Moonknight system are unfortunately going to take their baby son to work as the fist of vengeance much to Khonsu distaste for the situation

Warning: blood, swearing, death, grammar errors, google translate, references to the city of the dead issues, (don’t do what the Moonknight system is doing in this fic)

A/N: the third one of the single dad au series, this took almost a lot of my insanity and creativity when typing this. Ps this the longest one I’ve done which means lots of months when writing this.

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As the sounds of a baby giggles echo around the apartment as Isaac was reaching to reach the fish tank while crawling onto the floor as Marc was trying to call for a babysitter this week for Isaac but none of them are available to do so , and now he’s calling his ex wife for help “what do you mean you can’t babysit Isaac, Layla?” He asked while trying to hold his frustration at his ex-wife now friend first time denying to babysit his son knowing how she adores the baby Isaac Curiousity among The world around him. “Marc, we been over this” Layla spoke through the phone “there’s a lot happening in Duat the city of the dead that need protecting now and I dont think is a time for me to drop everything just to help you with Isaac” Hearing this Marc looks at Isaac and swiftly grabbing him just to get him away from falling into or from the edge of the fish tank “I understand Layla, but I can’t just leave the kid alone when I’m out all night this week, most of his usual babysitters are either busy with stuff or out of town” Isaac sneezes and giggles while Marc was finishing up his call with Layla “ you are the last person I have to call for this one whole week Layla” although she is in Egypt right now, he imagines her sighing at the other end “” I know but it’s life Marc and I know you guys will figure something out alright” Layla respond “I gotta go now Marc, let’s the others know that I miss working with ya” He nods “okay then..good bye Layla” with that he hung up the phone flopped onto the couch groan letting Isaac lay on the couch seat next to him. “What are we going to do with you Isaac?” Marc looked at the baby while asking for suggestions from Steven and Jake through the reflection of the table and a coffee/tea mug. Steven responded with an option “try have the baby monitor on us for the mission” Marc frowned “yeah until the batteries died out or the monitor gets destroyed mid fight” he told him as Isaac crawling around “oh come on Marc we both know that heck it not like we can take him to work”he was right about that it’s isn’t safe for him to be on missions “amigos as much as I can agree with you but I’m taking him to work tonight” he murmured in the headspace drinking a made up scotch while fixing much to dismay of the other two “we’re not going to put our baby son in danger” marc bluntly said to him when a gruntly look on his face to Jake. “Plus I don’t want Isaac to get a custom to killing and blood all over the place or on our clothes to scare the kiddo to become restless at night” Steven was about to point out that Isaac might not going to remember the violence since he since Isaac was a baby but didn’t want to add more fuel to the fire that was happening , well he and Marc don’t trust Khonsu with the baby since he cried at the sight in the night when that nightlight was kicked off by the moon god when he had to wake up Marc or Jake to get ready for their duties, they have to figure out something for this situation.”well I still suggest of bringing the baby monitor at our missions” Steven mumbles.

When nighttime came , Marc feed Isaac his dinner and as for Steven ..he read Isaac a censor version of Egyptian mythology giving Isaac a bit of a hissy fit because it wasn’t Peter Pan before putting him in his crib, then goes to bed and that when Jake took control of the body, picks up the car seat and puts it in his limo as he goes back up to the apartment to put half asleep Isaac in his seat much to Khonsu disappointment “I was not expected for you to bring your offspring to our mission tonight” Khonsu said when Jake was putting the seat belt on the baby mentally saying ‘gracias’ that Isaac is out cold sleep being adorable in the progress “well …the babysitters aren’t able to take care of him tonight and the other two are idiots to think poorly At what I’m doing” he replied as fixes his leather gloves and put his hat on him as he gets in the driver seat “besides I’m careful enough to know how to keep mijo safe” Jake looks at Isaac sleeping state “por favor quédate dormido hijo mío” gives him a kiss on the forehead and starts driving “your son will be a distraction for this Jake and should be in the care of someone you would be trusted ” Khonsu point out appearing in the backseat, Jake grunted putting his fake mustache before driving.

it didn’t take long to find the target and lure them into the cab where Jake was silently putting the silencer on his gun so he couldn’t wake up Isaac to start crying when he will kill his target: a leader of a small gang in London that were called stain class scarlets, which was weird considering the name “stain glass scarlet” sounded like a stripper name. “yo where ya heading sir?” Jake asked the passenger not noticing Isaac was waking up a little “hanging sword alley mate” the crook replied gruffly “hurry thou the stain glass scarlets aren’t very good about having their leader being late” Jake huff as he glares at the gang leader through the rear view mirror awhile side eying the baby was making small fists with his chubby little hands. As he drives to a different place where he dumped harrow’s body in, Jake heard the confession the leader and his gang did to innocent people from the past couple of months brutally torturing and beating innocent men and women who traveled at night “and to think that lady was begging not to be taken but to bad for that bitch, she got what coming when dressing like a-wait this isn’t the place I told you where to go” he smirked as Jake turns to the gang leader with a angry look on his face “Es hora de acabar contigo y tu pandilla bastarda.” with that shoots at the leader three times with the gun two at the chest and one in the head, Jake then about to go ditch the body in an alleyway “JAKE LOCKLEY WHAT THE HELL ?!?” Marc’s voice screams through the reflection of the window making him froze in place and groans “what does it look like Spector? I’m doing my job that what” Marc gives him a scolding look while steven was in the other side looking at the two “Jake I’m not happy about that fact you went behind our backs, bringing Isaac into a dangerous situation!” Marc told him “not to mention that Isaac just saw you kill that gang leader in front him!” Jake frown in confusion “what are you talking about? Isaac is asleep and had the silencer on the gun so he wouldn’t be wake-“ baby giggles stopped them as turn to see Isaac wide awake both clapping and smiling unconcerned about that he saw his dad murder a man “oh..” that was Jake answered “well mates he doesn’t seem bothered by it” Steven pointed at the obvious, which Marc stays silent wondering how would they could explain this. “Yea we can see that” Marc said with a interesting looking on his face as Jake took off his gloves and bring Isaac toward his face “you seem unbothered by the fact I brutally shot a very bad man to death don’t you?” Isaac just laughs and reaches for the fake mustache “huh so not only the child friendly things we have in our home bring to joy but also the fact you like us beating up the bad guys huh?” Jake smiles and looks at the two “well Isaac isn’t harm or traumatized by what should be illegal but he seem to act like-“ Steven gets cut off by Marc “no this is a one time thing and we’ll find someone to take care of Isaac and that’s final!” With that everything went silent knowing that the next night they would have to find a way to take down the gang without endangering the baby until Jake yelps in pain from the fake mustache being harshly pulled off by Isaac.

The next night despite agreeing with marc orders, Steven has to be Mr knight and fallow Marc rules about not bringing the baby to a scary situation, but they can’t leave him alone so he also decides to take Isaac to work again and hopefully it’s just patrolling (which isn’t sadly) because one he still doesn’t want Isaac to get hurt very badly and two he thinks Marc could handle the gang even though he did help beat a cult in the past . He grunts “how in bloody hell do you even put this on anyway?” Steven said as he tried to put on a baby carrier on him so he can put Isaac in as Isaac starts to whimper hinting that he is awake and is ready to go out to do some work, “you up and ready lad?” He asked him and Isaac reaches for him as he gets strapped on to his chest with the carrier when he notices Isaac onesie “oh wow you really are ready”Steven said a bit dumbfounded that his onesie isn’t his suit. As they walk out and summon the suit as Mr.knight and son go out to stop some mad men.

“Steven Grant I was not expecting you Tonight” Khonsu said looking at him and if Khonsu had a normal face there would be a deep frown “and you brought the young one here too I see” Steven looks up at the moon god as he let Isaac get distracted by his glove fingers so he wouldn’t be crying in fear or something from Khonsu doing. “Well like we said there’s no one available to babysit, and if I don’t know any better you starting to sound like a grumpy yet concerned grandpa” he pointed out as he smiles underneath the Mr.Knight mask , “I DO NOT SOUND LIKE A MORTAL GRANDPA!” Khonsu shouted, Isaac whimpers and tries hiding in the baby carrier as Steven pats him to calm him down “denial there but anyway where’s the trouble at old bird?”

After getting what information that he got from Khonsu and remembering about Jake’s intel from last night events about the gang and where they are meeting up at, he now mask off looks at Isaac who is starting to get sleepy eye from the boring waiting but most importantly how keep him from getting hurt when he has to fight with the said gang tonight “ I know what we’re doing is bad parenting” Steven said he muttered “but we can’t leave you alone in the flat, I mean what if you’re hungry or need your nappy change while we are gone fighting?” Sighing knowing how Isaac was being calm despite this dilemma he is in, “well it’s a good thing you little mate are so cute that it’s nice to have you so calm down” Isaac sneezes and Steven chuckles when he hear the gangs car coming out “well kiddo it’s time for us to do the work” Steven says as his mask reappears on his face as he prepares for the fight and trying not to get Isaac hurt in the process.

They were all right there the stain glass scarlets in the alley, talking about where the leader is and what is taking him so long “where’s the boss anyway?” One said grumpily tapping his foot, “what if he got snatched by that moon knight bloke fellas” another one said with a hint of fear in his voice “I heard that the guy is bonkers and he brutally attacks very wicked people and some say he wore white” the third one scoffs at the statement “why would he wear white?he must been insane to think that would have sneaked attack anyone around these parts” the gang nodded unware they were being watched by the hero and his son “it’s because we let criminals know we’re is coming” a voice said the gang turn to see Mr.knight walked in to the group looking menacing …well trying to be menacing as Isaac was kinda making hard to, “Ello stained glass scarlets, my name is Mr.knight and I suggest that you turn yourself in so nobody gets hurt” Steven said as the gang look shocked a yet confuse on why theres a baby with him, “is that…is that a baby?” One asked while some draw out there weapons getting ready to fight which Isaac responded to the member blowing a raspberry at him as Steven putting Isaac’s little beanie on and takes out his batons “why yes , yes he is you wankers.”

hit.dodge, attack, hit dodge attack as Steven repeats those words when using the batons on the gangs asses while keeping a laughing Isaac safe from getting hurt by the gang and the weapons they are using. “You are all gonna be sorry for disturbing my yard mates” Steven growls and even fixes his suit while realizing that he needs back up from ether Jake or Marc. “You worm let the others take control and you get your son out of the way!” Khonsu shouted at him and for once the moon god was right as Steven just got stabbed by one of the gang members causing Isaac scream “Marc take the body !” Steven panicking says as he and Isaac about to slam into the wall hard Steven holds Isaac close to shield him from the on coming impact.

As if the gang was about to celebrate their winning by beating Moonknight a moon dart flies through the air and embedding it self in a members eyes causing them to stop as Marc Spector took over the body just in time to keep him and Isaac safe and alive “you fucking almost killed the baby!” Marc shouted as he fights off with the remaining gang members while Also scolding Steven for going behind his back to Isaac safety. “Sorry Marc I am really I’m” Steven professor apologing to Marc in the head space while Marc continues fighting “but you know well we can’t leave him alone at the flat-“ “it doesn’t matter right now Steven!” Marc grunts but does accept his reasoning to that as he slice one guys face and kick one straight into his face. “As along as the baby is safe and these idiots are not going to harm anyone else” Isaac smiles and mimics his father’s actions as if he’s was kicking the bad guys ass too even though he is strapped into the carrier laughing and yawning, as Marc K. O the last remaining man of the gang as he fellow up to the night sky before the cops arrive at the scene

Once everything was quiet as Marc pats a sleeping Isaac back as he walk through the window of the flat also exhausted as the suit disappears from his body while putting his son in his crib stroking isaac’s black hair as he sleeps “we’re sorry amigo” Marc looks up at Jake and Steven in the reflection of the fish tank and a glass cup of water they have both sorry faces on their faces “I know guys” “we thought we taking the baby to work he won’t be home alone having hissy fits or he had a accident in his diaper and…” Steven gets cut off by Marc “ not gonna lie guys.. I hated that you guys brought him to dangerous missions that Khonsu have us do” he said as Steven nodded as Jake just leans there quitely and eventually nods “but not gonna lie..I seem to enjoyed spending time with the kiddo at our night missions.” Jake smirks “finally Spector finalmente está de acuerdo con nosotros“ Steven blinks in confusion still not understanding what Jake just said “but…this isn’t a good example of parenting especially Isaac isn’t even one yet” Marc stated which the others two nodded in agreement with that fact as Marc closes his eyes “I think it’s bed time since the mission was a success because we all have work tomorrow anyways”

It took only 20 minute later on the third night that all of them were knock out asleep when Isaac got out of his crib waking Marc up and pointing to the chair in the flat were khonsu was sitting at “Marc Spector I need you to go on stop A very evil man that just robbed and harm the innocent family” Khonsu said as Marc nods and looks at Isaac then whispers “let’s not tell Layla about this” with that Isaac looks at the half moon, smiles and pulls down his knitted hood and cape.

tagged: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @reallyrallyauthor @guruan @ominoose @angel-of-the-moons

A/N: thank you for the long wait. Remember please comment,like, reblog and fallow

#moon knight #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #marvel #moonknight #moon boys #singledad au #son of moonknight #layla el faouly #khonshu moon knight #khonshu #grandpa khonshu #sleep deprivation #headache #finally

[phoenix-rising-starbird-one]

I’ve decided that I’m going to sit down an hour every evening and write. I don’t care what WIP I’m working on or if it’s just editing or writing a poem. In order to get anything done, I have to dedicate an hour every evening. If I write longer, yay. If not, that’s okay. But I will set aside that hour every evening from now on, or else, I’m not moving forward. (It’ll be a flexible starting time between 7 pm to 8pm but I’d like to finish nlt 9 pm, so I have time to read, watch one of my shows, or yes, do some social media scrolling before I call it a day.)

I feel stuck. I feel stuck because of my immigration paperwork taking forever but also because I get distracted so easily. I will sit and read stuff on tumblr or watch insta reels, and suddenly, the hours are gone. And now don’t get me wrong. I love all my fellow writers’ work. I really do. I support you. You know that I do. But I also want to work on my own stuff. In order for that to happen, I have to dedicate an hour without distractions. Which means putting my tablet and phone away, switching off the TV, and just write.

I have to show up for myself for this just like I show up for myself for exercise every single day. And let me tell you, building up the habit was tougher than the actual exercise bit, but now, I work out an hour every day. I can’t imagine going a day without some form of movement. I’m hoping that if I sit down every evening to write, although it feels forced right now, that it’ll get easier to just write.

Like that’s the issue for me. To just start. I will fall into this daydreaming mode instead of actually writing or, as mentioned above, get distracted and put things off until tomorrow, but guess what? Tomorrow, I do the same thing. Of course, nothing gets done that way. So for now, I’ll write and I will write badly and it’ll be choppy. But I don’t care. Once I have it figured out, I know for a fact that it’ll be easier to sit down and just start writing or even pick up where I left off.

This sounds like big goals but I have to start somewhere. And thing is, I know I can do this. I know I can because I did and do this in other parts of my life. (Exercise, healthier eating habits, better evening routines, a schedule of major chores etc…)

Anyways. Life is one hell of a ride. If I’m lucky, I got 20 years left and I gotta do better for myself or else, I’m gonna have some 20 odd unhappy years left, you know. That doesn’t work for me. So here’s to building better habits and breaking the procrastination cycle.

Onwards. Forwards.

Xo

Vonny.

Ps: I’m also gonna make a post to let you know what WIP I’ve worked on once I’m done for the evening. It’s a way to hold myself accountable. You can ignore that, like you don’t need to comment. It’s more for me than anything.

[misc-obeyme]

Omg the ask-inbox chat-room. ✨ funny you mention the memory card cause I just finished reading through it. It’s called "Panic! At the Trap" and I love it. It’s the one where all the RAD students have to nab a card (or something) off of another student that they’re assigned. The Thirteen - Mammon interactions are pure chaos and I desperately wanted to see more. Can you imagine the pairings? The showdowns? Who’s the poor smuck that got assigned Barbatos? I wanna know.

You’re so sweet keeping me on my Pandora train. The short of the Scheherezade-ing story is that she’s sent to collect a thousand souls by command of the CR in the year’s longest night (who, in my head canon, can be pretty brutal) but is stopped by a nameless beggar who offers themselves as her first reaped soul so long as the people of the city live to see the dawn one last time. Naive and arrogant, Pandora agrees. To pass the dark hours, the nameless beggar tells the people of the city a story, but stops midway as dawn appears on the horizon. The next night, the nameless beggar finish their first story, but starts the next one, as the night was still young. Rinse and repeat for 1001 nights.

I like to think this is where Pandora learns about the richness of human life & experience. She isn’t able to control her curiosity and by the end of it, falls for the nameless beggar, so much so that she could never reap them and thus, saving the rest of the city. It’s a nice headcanon for me but like, impossible to write lol.

Honestly, I think it depended on the MC if they’d get along. Pandora can still come off as insufferably above-it-all but is also a huge gossip fiend and actively encourages shenanigans (never maliciously, she just wants to know what happens next). She’s got a lot of hang-ups about who she’s meant to be/what she’s meant to do. I’m curious, do you think she’d get along with any of your OCs?

-🪿honk

I really gotta read more memory card Devilgrams... I tend to neglect them lol! I did read one with Thirteen and Barbatos because hello I couldn't resist it. It was the one called Cinderella's Dream... but anyway, I gotta check out the memory cards you guys are talking about just for the Thirteen content!

Oh my GOSH. I love this story about Pandora! Suuuuper curious about that nameless beggar now, too. Does she ever find out their name? Or is it like... she keeps the fact that she's fallen for them to herself? Either way, I love it.

Impossible to write because of the 1001 stories and such?? 'Cause I kinda think you could summarize most of that and write the important scenes that show Pandora falling for the beggar. Like maybe she's listening to a specific story and something about the way the beggar's voice changes gives her insight into the beggar's own emotions... or if the beggar needs a drink and she brings it to them...

Uh but anyway, there I go getting ideas lol. I like the headcanon a lot! What an interesting situation for her to live through, too. Does it make her more wary of falling in love after that?

And oh yes, I do think she'd get along with some of my OCs!

I think Ciaran would get along with her! You mentioned before that she's curious and has a tendency for disobedience, which is something Ciaran would have in common with her. They might have an issue with the above-it-all attitude... however, I see them kinda just making fun of her for it lol. Ciaran is very friendly in general and I think their curiosity about her would make them want to befriend her.

I think Azrael would like her a lot just because she sounds like she'd cause all kinds of trouble for Stella and he would find that hilarious. Stella would be like what are you doing not reaping humans when you're supposed to be don't you realize how much extra paperwork that creates??

I also think Arsenios would get along with her. He's somewhat serious, but he also tends to do his own thing in defiance of any rules and regulations. He'd be impressed with her for doing what she felt was right instead of what she'd been told. Plus he's a super romantic and he'd be all starry eyed about the idea of a reaper sparing the life of a human they fell in love with. He'd never admit to that, though!

#I am always happy to chat about OCs #and it's always fun to think about how they'd interact with my OCs too! #obey me #obey me oc #obey me ocs #🪿 anon #misc answers

[sun-undone]

i'm finishing up yet another rewatch because when am i not rewatching this godforsaken show and all throughout season 2, i kept honing in on all the times we see JJ with that fucking flask and how it is NEVER ADDRESSED. the most we get are the two moments in 2x01 and 2x03 when Kie's telling him to chill out before school and then when she takes the flask from his hand when she thinks he's asleep.

the fact that the closest we got to any acknowledgement of that being a deeper problem was always framed around jiara???? and now we know from the EW articles that JJ's mental health is gonna be a bigger deal (thank fucking god pates i love you and i never said anything bad about y'all) in season 3, which is the jiara season??????? it's all connected and i truly cannot believe i am praising writers for basic set up and payoff but !!!!!! i really thought the flask was their half-assed way of giving JJ some kind of individual arc when they totally dropped all his other plot lines (restitution and Luke/abuse trauma) but i could not be more happy to be proven wrong.

(i mean, they might be talking a big game now, it all comes down to the actual execution but i'm still so fucking excited that they've specifically mentioned taking a look at the pogues' mental states and it gives me a lot of hope okay)

everyone's already said this but i really think we're gonna see JJ struggling hardcore with being back home and not knowing what his place is as the dynamic of the pogues has changed so much. Cleo and Pope are paired off, since we now have confirmation that she'll be staying with him and his family. John B is gonna be reunited with his father, and he and Sarah have got each other as well. Kie has her parents to go back to, as strained as that relationship is. JJ is very clearly the odd one out.

poguelandia is the first time that JJ has ever been away from the obx. he has never existed outside the bubble of what it means to be a Maybank in the obx. so he's gotta feel so free, right?? he can provide for his family by fishing and they can get by just well enough to survive and live off the land and they have each other, and that's always been enough for JJ.

and if he and Kie gravitate closer on poguelandia like we all think they will, then all of that happiness and a taste of his surf trip dream will suddenly get ripped away from him when they have to go back home, and he's absolutely gonna spiral. he's gonna pull away and deflect and overcompensate with alcohol and use all the other immature coping mechanisms we've seen him use before, and i am so fucking ready for this angst holy shit cause there's just been so much set up for it. the pates love a fast burn so i think we were all kinda worried about the slow burn with jiara, but my expectations are officially sky high. i'm so glad that they're using the established character flaws and insecurities for JJ as part of the angst, and i'm assuming Kie's issues with her parents will be the external force adding onto that and making it even angstier.

it's not mind-blowing writing whatsoever, but after season 2 kinda let us down in terms of giving us insight into JJ's headspace, i'm just over the moon to see that it might've all been a set up for something bigger. they knew they wanted to save the deep dive into JJ's trauma for the jiara season because it's so integral to understanding how JJ receives and doesn't receive love. you can't put JJ in a romantic plot line without addressing all that trauma and self-hatred, and it's something fic writers have created masterpieces about and i can't stop saying it but i am just so fucking happy that the pates are putting it in canon. they really do care about these characters huh

if season 3 ends up being a disaster and the trauma plot line is disappointing as hell then no one saw this i didn't write it you didn't read it

#i'm just really emo about jj rn #when am i not though #god i am really putting a lot of stock into this damn season now it better be as good as they're saying it is #obx #obx season 3 #obx s3 #jj maybank #jiara

[starified-lizzy]

I figured I should redo my intro to my blog-

ELLO >:DDDD

Name’s Lizzy! Or Star! I really don’t give a fuck which you use!

I draw shit for FANDOMS

I write shit for FANDOMS

I got OCS whom I LOVE and ADORE.

“Can I draw fanart of your fics?” My sibling in Christ, we are married. /pos

“Can I draw fanart of your fanart(like DTIYS)?” My sibling in Christ. /pos

“Can I draw fanart of your OCs?” CHRIST. /pos

RAHHHHHH (it’s really fucking early I shouldn’t be doing this now ;-;)

Here’s a list of my socials, it is very limited because I hate the “standard” socials like Twitter and Insta and stuff like that. So it’s more like- fanfic sites, and any other blogs I own for you guys to check out >.>

My AO3

My Art Fight

My YouTube

My TikTok (basically dead at this point, I only ever like/favorite things on it, but I might start up again with my FNF au instead)

My Pinterest

My Spotify because sure

My FNF au blog

My demonpocalypse blog ([possibly] forever retired due to a severe issue in the community it was for)

Blog for food/recipes I want to try because MMMMMMMMMMM FOOOOD

Wow that’s actually not limited like I thought- hot damn I need to touch some grass.

HERES A LIST OF FANDOMS IM EITHER CURRENTLY IN, OR HAVE RETIRED FROM (Also CCs):

Retired-

DSMP (and MCYT as a whole for the most part), dude our community is in *shambles*. I’m so glad I left when I did, but at the same time O W.

ATLA. Technically I’m still in this fandom, but I only really get back into it/brainrot about it if I get a reminder, otherwise I kinda forget about it

FNAF. Same with ATLA, still technically in it, but I gotta be reminded it exists sometimes.

BATIM. Ditto

Wings of Fire. Ditto

Undertale. Ditto. Lizzy, my main persona, was actually an OC created from Undertale, who just ended up becoming her own person, and then ended up being associated with mine and my friend’s Minecraft au instead.

Onto CCs I no longer watch:

Any of the DSMP ppl, with very few exceptions

Jacksepticeye. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still watch a video of his if it pops up and spikes my interest, but I don’t actively seek his content out anymore.

Any of the old Minecrafters. Like DanTDM, Stampy, Tiny Turtle & Little Lizard. Hell, I don’t even think any of the ones I listed even do YT at all anymore. I’ll still watch their old videos tho.

Current-

FNF. I really could give less of a fuck if y’all think it’s “bad” or “for kids (it’s not, I promise you)”. The music slaps, and quite a few mods are really well made, so eat my ass.

Day of Dragons. The dragons are cool. I don’t care about any drama in the community. I’m here for the cool fucking dragons.

The Isle. Once again, I don’t care about any drama in the community. I’m here for the cool ass dinosaurs because you can customize your own skins and they just look and sound cool (Dilo, Herarra, and Ptera are my faves)

Lethal Company. Do it for the Company.

RainWorld. Scugs and Scups. Need I say more?

Hollow Knight. Sorta falling out of this one, but until I beat the entire game (P5) I am not finished.

Minecraft. Technically in “the fandom”, but not really attached to a specific YTer or anything like that anymore. I just like the game.

CCs I still watch:

Astral Spiff. Sprog is a good gamer.

Smii7y and his friends like Grizzy, Droid, Puffer, Blarg, etc.

Jack Manifold. I only watch his You Laugh You Loose and Ghost Sighting Compilation videos. I don’t even know if he still does Minecraft anymore.

8-BitRyan. While he doesn’t swear in his videos, it’s kinda a breath of fresh air. Plus his edits are quite funny.

Markiplier. Yes. Just… yes…

IGP. His content is just interesting. The way he freaks out over shit is funny as hell. Does he do content with IcyCaress anymore? Their banter was funny, but idk if something happened, cuz I just don’t see much stuff with Icy in it anymore.

As of right now, that’s all I can think of. It’s nice to meet you!

#blog intro #introductory post #redid my intro because things changed and I wanted it to be more COLORFUL and CRAZY #artists on tumblr #fanfic writers #writers on tumblr #small youtuber #for fun

[schro4444]

Ohhh boy chaper 1120 coming in with the Conan movie plot (disdain). Have you checked it out yet? Kid and Hakuba get done so dirty in wildly opposite ways...

(oh, so are we now pretending DetectivesTM are the Only Observant People that Exist, Ever? Is that what we're doing now??? Sure, different skillsets, but like NOTICING A BLOODSTAIN AND THAT A SUICIDE WOULDN'T NEED A SILENCER AIN'T ROCKET SCIENCE)

LOL YEAH,,,, I’ve Been Keeping Up With It. I’m trying to avoid thinking too critically until it finishes up this plotline and for now just enjoy the ride of “haha character interaction funny” ajdjfhdjdjdhd

they do sure like to keep kid’s skills a liiiiittle inconsistent…. uh, I’m glad I finished writing ditto before this chapter came out, lol. there are,,, ok. there are a lot of ways that this could, in theory, go fine, while staying mostly in-character. plenty of theoretical plot twists or scenarios. kid could actually be right, but for different reasons. he also could be like “lol just testing ur skills as a fellow detective” and then the problem is solved. hakuba could ask kid to prove that he’s a genius detective, or challenge him to some kind of competition, to which kid “deducts” everything about hakuba (using everything kaito knows about him lol).

idk, like,,, the current situation feels a little bit to me like a set-up for something, though I’m not sure what. but it’s been too simple so far, lol. something’s gotta come up in 1121 that upsets the whole thing.

from the pov of a writer that’s kinda bad at figuring out mysteries, I’d say there are lots of reasons why a gun used for a suicide could have a silencer. framing a suicide as a murder could have all sorts of motives, from getting kaitou kid arrested/accused/defamed to insurance claims to both to anywhere in-between. maybe kichida used something in the room to fix the issue of the silencer making the gun too long. at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if the body turned out to be fake or weird somehow—how was it affected by the humidity? are there any related clues in the body’s first stages of rigor mortis? honestly I almost think he was dead way before this and got replaced by somebody or something, because of the coughing in the beginning and how he wouldn’t talk. or maybe he was poisoned or sick, and decided he only had one way out? idk. just… rarely are detco cases this cut-and-dry with the clues.

and as for the movie plot… lol. yeah. uh. oops. kid-dressing-up-as-shinichi-all-the-time trope is Hilarious, but my biggest issue with it is that,,, like,,, now that shinichi has kid pinned down as One Of the Guys That Look Like Him, all it would take is seeing kaito randomly on the street somewhere to put 2 and 2 together. it’s a Big big risk to his identity, which will now more or less rely on shinichi’s honor code to stay secret. rip.

#to everyone I haven’t answered yet #SOON #I promise #exam season is simply upon us #help #schrasks #dcmk #dc #mk #file 1120 spoilers #detective conan spoilers

[everestica]

How about ji25 (separate) reaction to reader just collapsing out of exhaustion and overwork? And how would they take care back to health? You don't gotta do it if it kinda seems complicated, tysm!! <3

Nightcord @ 25:00 x Reader: Overworking

Writing Type: Short Story

Request: Yes

Warnings: Collapsing, Fainting

A/N: Thank you for requesting! Hope you enojy, and if you don’t like it feel free to reach out and have me rewrite it!<3 (ps I only ended up doing Mizuki and Mafuyu, so if you still want me to write Ena and Kanade feel free to put in another request!)

—

You had a quiz in the next week and you were totally unprepared, so you decided to to spend the next couple days getting ready. But what you forgot is to sleep, eat, and making sure that you were drinking enough.

A couple days later you and Mafuyu decided to hang out and go on a walk in the park. You were dead tired and you only had a snack and a bottle of water here and there other then that you hadn’t had a full meal in the days you started getting prepared.

When you and Mafuyu had gotten to the park you two started walking and about halfway through, you felt your knees buckle below you and you lags gave out which made you land on your knees which definitely scared Mafuyu who was about a step in front of you.

When you had fallen she quickly turned and bent down to where you were and asked if you were okay and when you told her about what was going on about the not sleeping and studying, she immediately took you home, made you a meal with a glass of water. When you’re finished she takes you up to (Either your’s or her bedroom depending on who’s house your at) and tucks you into bed, but also gets into bed with you and cuddles you to make sure that you actually went to bed. She knows hoe important it is to study and get good grades but its also important to take care of yourself.<3

You had been working really hard to be good enough for everybody around you and always be happy. But It was hard to keep up the act all the time and around everybody, so you wouldn’t normally wouldn’t sleep either because you felt guilty for lying to everyone around you, or maybe somebody was keeping you up to talk to you about all there troubles or issues. It would have been fine if maybe you just didn’t sleep but it was also the fact that you didn’t eat, weather you just had guilt and didn’t want to, or somebody would ask for your food and there was no way you could reject them so you gave over your food. You were making your way out of the school when Mizuki popped up in front of you. They came up to ask you if you wanted to go to the shops today as a cute little date, of course you said yes and then they quickly grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the way of the shops. When you had first gotten there you were just a little dizzy from how fast that Mizuki was dragging you, but then you realized that it wasn’t how fast Mizuki was pulling you. Just after you realized that you felt limp and the lights when out.

When you awoke who knows how many hours later you were laying in Mizuki’s room on their bed. They were no where to be found but as soon as you tried to get up Mizuki was right by your side. They slightly pushed your shoulders back down so you were again laying on the pillow, but instead they went down with you and were now laying on your chest, they just want you to be okay.<3

#project sekai #project sekai x reader #mizuki x reader #mafuyu x reader #mizuki akiyama #mafuyu asahina

[unquietspiritao3]

finally finished listening to rhod’s special, The Man with the Flaming Battanberg Tattoo, and i have some random thoughts:

1, i was thinking all through it that the girlfriend he’s talking about must be sian and maybe they have matching potato tattoos so that ending came out of nowhere

2, wikipedia says sian was his ‘longtime’ girlfriend when they got married though, which was only a year after this show? idk, if anyone knows the actual timeline here, please fill me in

3, i’ve worked in customer service for over ten years (although i’m not customer-facing anymore), and i gotta say that if rhod was even approaching accurate in his tales of losing his temper with service workers (i know he must’ve edited them to be more funny, too, so chances are he acted worse than he says), he was my nightmare customer. i would’ve walked away sobbing. don’t treat service workers like shit, don’t blame them for things beyond their control, just do not

4, i’m glad he got help for that and now feels ashamed of how he used to act, and i’m so glad he’s become as beloved as he is (and is doing well, health-wise!)

5, now i doubly want to write a rhod/james follow-up with rhod helping james with his own anger management issues because i feel like they would understand each other so well there

6, anyway, more proof that growth and change are possible and the world becomes a better place, not worse, when you extend people compassion, give them space for their journey of self-improvement (while setting healthy boundaries, of course), and are willing to forgive when they do show that growth and change ✨💜

#sorry to get preachy but compassion is literally my religion so #rhod

[captn3]

A discussion on ableism in AI: The Somnium Files

Happy Disability Pride Month! I hope everyone's July is starting out well, despite the loud fireworks of the fourth.

For this month i thought it would be fitting to discuss a major problem in the game AI: The Somnium Files: ableism. There will be major spoilers for the game's plot described, and there will be one singular mention of Nirvana Initiative that isn't really a spoiler but I'm just putting a warning here. The reason there's only one mention of it is because I have not finished that game yet, and don't even know if it has any ableism in it. Working on that while writing this post, actually. Don't get me wrong, I love this game a lot, but obviously everything has its issues, and you've gotta be critical of that. That's the whole reason I'm making this post- so people can learn to be aware of this so they can avoid being ableist themselves, and understand the issues behind it.

I very strongly encourage abled fans to reblog. Even if you know all of this, I want more people to hear.

First of all, the usage of psychopathy(and other similar terms) in a derogatory way. Countless times the game refers to the culprit of the New Cyclops Serial Killings as a psychopath. I do not experience psychosis myself, but I have studied a bit before making this post (reading various articles written by people who have been diagnosed with psychosis) Not only that, but by now it should be wildly known that calling people psychotic when they are acting "crazy" or "insane" is very ableist, even if you don't experience it yourself. Unrelated to anything that happens in AITSF, but this can also be said for bipolar disorder and OCD when it comes to talking about yourself when you do something unrelated to it at all, and more aligned with the stereotypes of said disorder. For example, saying "im so bipolar haha" in response to a "sudden" change in how you're feeling, or "omg it triggers my ocd!!" when you see something terribly unorganized, something Most People Hate To See, OCD diagnosis or not. The rest, and majority of the post is under a read more. This is a final warning for major plot spoilers, as the true culprit of the New Cyclops Serial Killings will be namedropped, and talked about in-depth, as well as other major spoilers, including the biggest plot twist in the game. Key points, parentheses, and the beginnings of paragraphs will be in bold to make it hopefully a bit easier to read.

Back on topic, the treatment of Saito is odd- especially when Date doesn't have any of this happen to him- y'know, being in Saito's body. It is implied in the bad end of annihilation route that Date does reach this "reward system" of killing people for pleasure, but it's still odd. Would Date not have, I don't know, killed a bug or something and then been like Oh shit. Because clearly even though Aiba supplies oxytocin for Date, the implications in that bad ending still happen. It's also odd that within the time he went without Aiba before she was created, that he was fine. Though since most of this relies on a loose implication, I won't stay focused on it for that long. So, I'll move on. Saito being called a psychopath is especially worrying considering the reason he is called this is because of a physical brain disability. This part I can actually speak from my own experience, as I am missing my own pituitary gland. I have a health condition called Panhypopituitarism. It can be shortened to Panhypopit, or PHP. You can study it more if you'd like, if not, here's a short definition from a google search: "A rare condition in which the pituitary gland stops making most or all hormones." It is so rare, when typing the condition's name in it gives it a red squiggly line, implying I either misspelled or typed in a word that doesn't exist! And for the nerds out there, specifically about 4 in 100,000 people are diagnosed with it in a year. For a somewhat silly comparison, the chance of having Panhypopituitarism is lower than the chance of getting a shiny Pokemon. (meaning i can have a pokesona that's shiny for an actual reason other than "shinies are cool, idc if they're rare" /j) People can have this condition at birth, or if the gland is damaged at all throughout their life. I was born with my pituitary gland LITERALLY MISSING. The doctors couldn't find it. And since this condition is rare, it is a very hard condition to deal with. I will not go into too much detail, but I have had a doctor for most of my life who clearly didn't know what he was doing in relation to the condition, and that affected my life in more ways than one. Not only that, but some people suffer from it more than others. It depends on how severe the case is. In Saito's case, his body cannot properly produce oxytocin. I don't know the specifics of everything the pituitary gland is supposed to secrete and produce but I can tell you I have it from somewhere else in my body because I do not take medicine to supply it, and I frequently experience feelings of love and comfort and trust and????? You get it. I do have depression, which might be because of this?? But like, I still fucking feel love and shit. Most importantly though.

I do not have an urge to kill things so I can experience love and joy. I do not have an inability to feel love.

As someone with such a rare condition, I've NEVER found any representation for Panhypopit before. I'm not too surprised or sad about it, but when the only time a character DOES have something similar to it, it's extremely unrealistic, it causes them to only feel love when murdering, and they're called a psychopath for it, I'm obviously gonna be a bit upset. When Pewter deliberately explained Saito's brain dysfunction that I can relate to in such a harrowing way; describing that because of said dysfunction he can only feel pleasure by killing things, I felt very distraught. At the time though, friends around joked about it, saying "haha, just like Memo!" Because I was young and ignorant, and a kid who very much depended on others to seem normal and find interests, I nodded along, and started laughing too, ignoring i was distressed about the scene at all. Later on though, when my group of friends changed drastically because I didn't want to talk to people who are now ex-friends (for reasons you can probably guess, lmao), a different friend happened to start playing AITSF. I was very excited, because like I said, it was one of my favorite games, and one of the only instances of bodyswaps that didn't trigger me (i know this is a silly trigger, and its silly that there are exceptions, but thats just how my brain works, and also its disability pride month so you cant be mean to me /hj) and I love to talk about my interests with others, whether I'm currently hyperfixating on them or not. When said friend, who I'll call S from now on (hi S if you're reading this. leaving you in the anonymity zone out of my own choice actually which is why i didnt ask you if you wanted me to mention you by name or not) finished AITSF, and started thinking about everything, connecting everything, y'know, the usual process after you finish a Uchikoshi game, we ended up talking about Saito's problems. I mentioned my ex-friends said that, and he made me realize, Hey. That Was Fucked Up, Actually. In general, I never really considered it ableist until he mentioned it. Which is kinda why I'm making this post- so people CAN know that these things are ableist. People should be aware that doing things like what my old friends did- no matter the commonness or rarity of the disability in the scenario, is ableist. Specifically the parts where they didn't acknowledge the ableism of giving the disability to the villain, and instead began to compare said villain (who fucking MURDERS PEOPLE) to someone they knew that had the same, or similar disability. Sorry for the long portion about Panhypopit, I meant it. Seriously, I'm betting everyone reading this except for my friends had no idea it existed, so of course I'm gonna explain it in detail so they do know. Anyway, let's move on from Saito.

(ID in alt text)

WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hitomi Sagan, as we all know AS IT IS LITERALLY A HUGE PLOT POINT, is shot in the right shoulder, which paralyzes that arm. Paralyzes. WHY IS IT MOVING. Now, yes, perhaps this was an oversight, but there's also the possibility they didn't want to change the animation just a bit just for one character. I don't know the complications of just.. yknow, making the arm stay still, but either way, it's still fucked up. If it was this hard, though, why not omit her from the scene entirely? Or even just, don't have her dance? Mayumi is seen standing still next to Ota during his segment of the song, why not Hitomi? It's possible I'm just being very nitpicky, but I feel like this could have easily been avoided. You could say perhaps she got surgery the same way Iris did to help her arm, but wouldn't that have been mentioned as well? And if it for some reason wasn't, we visit the Sagan Residence in the epilogue. Her arm is still paralyzed. There's no reason for her to hide she had surgery done. In fact, wouldn't she tell Date as soon as possible? Tell him not to worry he shot her cause it's alright now? But that wouldn't matter anyway- her arm is still paralyzed even in AITSF nirvanA Initiative. Well I don't know. That one I'm not as upset about as... [gesturing] Saito. But, as bad as Saito is, the game does have other disabled characters that aren't treated as badly. Say, Iris's brain condition, or Mayumi's dementia. But that still doesn't make up for how badly Saito was handled. That'll be it, really. Can't think of anything else on this specific topic. If you wanna add on at all please feel free! I could've missed something, or not have explained stuff that well.

Happy Disability Pride Month!

#aitsf #ai the somnium files #aitsf spoilers #memo's ted talk #ai: the somnium files #ai:tsf #long post #sorry if i misworded anything #i feel kinda embarrassed posting this cause its so long but like. sometimes you gotta say fuck it I Guess. #saito sejima #hitomi sagan #man idfk what to put in the tags #posting this and dying

[sassy-ahsoka-tano]

DADDY ISSUES - Part Seven: Friends

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Prompt: Now that you're all moved in and set up, what do you have to look forward to in your relationship as Elvis Presley's sugar baby? [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: sad reader, angst, guilt/shame as a result of sexual activity, elvis being a bit of a fucktard ngl

Rating: M || Word Count: 3985

A/N: i hope y'all are enjoying still!! i can't tell you how many ideas spurred while writing these chapters. i literally had a web of ideas that i somehow managed to weave all into this little fic lol

Song Rec: friends - anne marie and marshmello

This is Part 7 of Daddy Issues. Find the rest of the series here!

[ masterlist | taglist ]

🦋 mila

─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────

“Am I allowed to date or see other people or is this an exclusive thing?”

Elvis’ eyebrows shoot up when you ask the question and you can tell that he wasn’t expecting it. His eyes drop to the floor and eyebrows furrow as he considers what you’ve asked. After a few moments of tense silence, he clears his throat and glances back up at you with a tight smile.

“Course you can see other people. We ain’t an item or nothin. It’s just a convenient relationship for both of us. Doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, but doesn’t mean we gotta be lovers neither.”

You nod, offering a small smile. His eyes fall to your finger and he smirks.

“That’s a good girl. Lemme see,” he says, scooting forward and holding out his palm.

You drop your hand into his and he gently runs his fingers over it with the hint of a smile on his face. His calloused fingertips ghost over your knuckle and then onto the ring resting snugly on your finger. You take a deep breath, the feeling of your touch on his palm making you giddy and excited.

“See you doin so good already followin my rules. This ring’ll tell everybody important that you’re with me. Looks good on ya, princess,” he says with a nod. “You like it?”

“Oh absolutely, Mr. Presley,” you say, automatically defaulting to his proper name. You feel like you should treat him respectfully, or maybe you’re addressing him as your boss? You aren’t sure but the urge to be formal is suddenly extremely present in the room. “It’s the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen and definitely not something that I could ever afford on my own. Thank you so much for gifting it to me.”

“Don’t mention it,” he says, waving dismissively. “It’s payment for our first appointment. This was the arrangement we agreed to and I stick to my promises. There’s more to come, I’m sure.”

Your lips part as you watch his gaze fade from sunny blue eyes to a dark, serious expression. He emphasizes the word come, pausing after he speaks the word. He draws it out, licking his tongue over his lips before finishing the sentence. You desperately hope you’re not reading too much into it, because you do desperately want him to be talking about you.

Everything in your body wants him to touch you and make you feel things you’ve never experienced in your life. The first time you saw him in 1956, you wanted him. Other girls may also want him, but not like you. They don’t want him like you do. The lust he planted then has done nothing but grow since that day. For god’s sake, it possessed you, the most unlikely person in the world, to slide out of your panties and offer them up to a complete stranger who you’d probably never see again. Elvis’ voice jerks you out of your awe.

“Which reminds me, what sorta payments do you want? I don’t wanna get you nothin you dont like.”

“Oh, uh, I guess I’ve never really thought about it. Well, I like necklaces and rings. Um, I’m more of a pants girl than dresses but I still like nice dresses and things. Um…”

“Noted,” he replies.

Silence settles as his eyes trace over your figure. You’re becoming more comfortable with him doing that, since he does it pretty constantly. The little problem of your debts and bills rises to the forefront of your mind and you consider adding to the list since that’s what you really need to be paid off, but before you can say anything else, he curls his finger and motions for you to come over to him.

Your core starts to swell with excitement and you actively fight the smile that wants to cross your face. You take a few steps closer to him and sit down on his lap, just as you had the other day. You already feel a bit more comfortable this time as you rest your hands on his chest and his hands gently cup your thighs. You stay still, waiting for instructions which he promptly provides.

“Tilt your head up for me,” he says and you gulp before obeying, lengthening your chin out so that he can see your neck better.

His fingers gently rise up toward your skin, ghosting across your throat and the sensitive skin underneath your jawline. Your eyes flutter and threaten to close but you force them to remain open. He just gently closes his fingers around your throat, not all the way but enough that your breath audibly shudders. You gulp your nerves down as your pussy begins to throb with desire for him. Just as you’ve resolved to lean down and kiss him, he pulls his fingers away.

“You got a pretty neck, princess. Perfect for my hand. I think a necklace would work nicely for you.”

You hover in the space between you, resisting the strongest urge to smash your lips against his. Your entire body is slowly aching for him, but is it okay for you to make a move? Despite his loveliness in answering your questions, you’re still confused as to how all of this works. Plus, now that you’re relying totally and completely on Elvis to sustain you financially, you’re terrified of making a mistake that’s unfixable. Just as your head begins to bob forward with a burst of confidence, your nerves get the better of you and you just hover anxiously. You clear your throat and Elvis continues the conversation.

“Is jewelry what you like best? Or dresses or what?”

“Um, I guess I’ve never really thought about it, honestly. I…don’t have much of a preference,” you reply with a lackluster shrug. “I could use some new clothes. But, of course the jewelry is also very nice. Um…sorry, I just feel very awkward saying these things.”

You laugh nervously but he shakes his head.

“Why’s that?”

“Well,” you suddenly laugh as you realize what it feels like and that image begins to surface in your mind, “honestly, it feels a bit like sitting on Santa’s lap and telling him what I want for Christmas. I’m just not very used to asking for things, like material things.”

“But that’s how you get what you want. Y'ask for it.”

“I guess so, yeah. But that’s usually not how it works for normal people, and it’s certainly never worked out that way for me. I hardly ever get what I ask or pray for. God has favorites and I really don’t think I’m one of them,” you reply with a weak chuckle. “Besides, I’m just not the kind of person who places a lot of value on material objects or gifts or anything. I don’t need all that many things, to be honest. Just the basics, although these are very tempting and it feels good to own them. They’re not really necessary in the grand scheme of things, you know what I mean?”

“But that’s what I’m here for. I ain’t got no issue giving you whatever you want. All you gotta do is ask, princess, and it’s yours.”

“I’m not used to that. People like me don’t just get the things we ask for. We have to work for them.”

“Not anymore, doll,” he smiles, leaning forward to whisper against your cheek. “Ask and it’s yours.”

You smile in awe as Elvis pulls back.

“Stand up, over there,” he gestures toward the middle of the room. You nod and carefully remove yourself from his lap to stand on the mark he’s given you. Once there, you await his directions. “Take the dress off. Just the top. I wanna see you better.”

You nod and turn away from him to spice things up. You shakily lift the strap of your dress up and off of your shoulder, glancing over your skin at Elvis who watches you hungrily. You let the strap fall, exposing the skin of your shoulder to him. The slow speed with which you’re stripping is putting both you and him through an uncomfortable tenseness that only grows when you drop the other strap down. The dress, being held up mostly by the straps, elegantly falls off your chest and pools around your waist where it’s cinched in a little tighter. You reach up for the strap to your bra, but Elvis stops you.

“No. There’s good enough,” he says. “Turn around.”

You obey him, spinning around so he can get a good look at your entire body. He rubs his slender fingers over his lips, tugging them out lazily. You stand still like a statue before him until he gestures for you to come closer.

“Come here. Right here. All the way this time.”

He points to the space between his legs, a spot that has become rather familiar to you already. You can’t help the smile that spreads onto your cheeks as you step toward him.

He leans forward, his fingers taking hold of your waist. They gingerly trail up the bare skin of your waist, so lightly that you feel goosebumps spreading across your skin. He traces his fingers around to your front, ghosting over your breasts underneath the bra. He curls his fingers around your chest and squeezes firmly. You release a contented breath and close your eyes at the sensation, what little of it there even is. It’s more than you’ve gotten from him so far. He squeezes a few more times, saying nothing, before he releases your breasts.

You instinctively follow his grasp as it retreats. Your eyes fly open in disappointment and he slides further down into the red velvet chair. He tugs gently on the zipper to his jumpsuit while staring intensely into your eyes.

“You know what to do, darlin."

Unfortunately, you do know what to do, although you’d love to do something else right now. It might only be the second time you’ve sucked him off, you hope this time will be different. You hope this time you’ll get to share in the receiving end. Glancing up into his bright blue eyes, you have an idea. You lean over him, trying to push your breasts near his face in the hopes that you’ll tempt him enough to put some effort into pleasing you. You pause for a few seconds, waiting for him to grasp your chest.

When he doesn't respond, you reach down to grasp the zipper. His hand snakes onto yours, gripping your fingers away from his suit. You glance up at him in confusion

"I liked what you did the other night with your teeth," he says, his eyes falling down to your lips. "Do it like that again."

You gently maneuver yourself onto the floor on your knees and catch the zipper between your teeth. This time, you unzip the jumpsuit slowly, maintaining eye contact with Elvis all the way down. You spread the leather of his jumpsuit aside so you can access him. His white boxer briefs are familiar to you now. You glance sneakily up at the clock in the corner of the room to see that you only have about five minutes until show time.

As much as you appreciate his trying to get to know you better, you’re desperate for some physical attention. You’ve been responsible for taking care of yourself for the last five years or so and, quite frankly, you’re just tired of it. Having a man touch you for once is a need that’s rekindled every time he dares to touch you.

But with only five minutes left, you waste no time, yanking his underwear off and wrapping your fingers around his length. You immediately start to pump him, licking the tip of his dick with your tongue. He releases a satisfied sigh and leans back into the chair. You glance up to see his head tilted toward the ceiling with his eyes completely closed. You feel pleased with yourself but frustrated at his passivity. You yank him into your mouth and harshly bob your head up and down on top of him.

He groans and moans in approval. Your eyes flash wide when his hand sneaks down your chest to massage your breasts through your bra. You hum against his length as he pinches your nipple between his fingers. You shift closer to him, hoping he'll touch you harder. While the sensation is very welcome, you need so much more.

As your head bobs up, your eyes flick up toward him again to see that he hasn’t moved, other than his hips which are beginning to buck up into your mouth as he matches your pace. You squeeze your eyes shut, suddenly feeling the urge to cry. You continue to bob up and down on his dick as you fight back the emotion that’s flooding into your chest painfully.

You feel him start to twitch in your mouth and pump your hand harder on his length. A few seconds later, his hips are bucking into your lips and his hot cum is slipping down your throat. You gulp it down begrudgingly, the taste almost sour on your tongue. Your body shudders with the displeasure of the action and the taste but mostly with how it made you feel at the moment.

You drop your head immediately, focusing on the floor below you as Elvis reassembles himself to go back out for the show which starts in just a few minutes. You squeeze your eyes shut tightly, wanting to transport yourself completely from this situation into a different time and place, somewhere you’re safe and alone. On his way out, Elvis places his hand on your head and gives your hair a little muss. His fingers slip down to your chin, lifting your gaze to his. You reluctantly open your eyes and he smirks down at you slightly.

“Such a good girl,” he murmurs before making his way toward the door.

You keep yourself upright until you hear the door shut behind him. As soon as the lock clicks, you feel your face screwing up. You keel over onto your hands and knees, your arms shaking with the emotion that is coursing through your body. You curl onto your knees and sit back on them, resting your forehead on the scratchy carpet below you. Tears start to pool by your eyes and you don’t stop them as the warm liquid falls from your eyes to stain the carpet below you. You curl your arms around your shoulders as your body shakes and you cry.

He had his chance to pleasure you and he didn’t take the hints, which you thought were very obviously being given to him. Now, it’s too late. You feel worthless, disgusting, dirty. You understand that you wholeheartedly gave yourself up to Elvis when you agreed to become his sugar baby but you assumed the arrangement would be mutual.

You should be stronger than this; this shouldn’t bother you so much. You are the one who agreed to this, who decided to accept the proposal. You’re just reaping the consequences of your actions, the ones Steve warned you about. But for some unplaceable reason, it hurts. A lot.

On the other hand, while you realize how silly and dramatic it is to be upset when you’ve just begun, the emotions that are running through your veins are so strong. And considering that you’ve relocated your entire life over the last week, it’s probably understandable that you’re feeling so overwhelmed.

After a few more tears sneak out, you sniffle and wipe your runny nose on your arm, not caring about the stickiness spreading onto your skin. You don’t have anyone to look pretty for anymore. And the one person you did choose to look nice for doesn’t seem to have any interest in you other than using you as a personal fleshlight. As moments of anger and embarrassment pulse through your veins, you pull yourself together with a few deep breaths.

You weren’t really in the mood for giving him a blowjob even when you got dressed to come downstairs tonight. But he asks and you provide. As he said earlier, ‘all you gotta do is ask and it’s yours’. As you dry your tears, that phrase starts to circle in your brain. Ask and it’s yours… If that’s what he wants. That’s what he’ll get. Why can’t you take the reins a little? You’re half of the deal, after all.

You stand, fix your hair and your dress, wipe off your tears and snot and grab your purse. You exit the dressing room with the confidence of someone who simply doesn’t have the will to care anymore.

As you trudge out of the dressing room, not bothering to pause before the door to listen for anyone passing, you keep your eyes glued to the floor beneath you. You shrug your bag over your shoulder and pull the bottom of your dress down harshly, trying to get the stubborn fabric to stay put. When your body slams into another, you momentarily lose your footing and feel yourself careening toward the floor. Luckily, whoever you bumped into manages to catch you at the last moment. With a panting breath, you glance up to see one of the most handsome men you’ve ever seen in your life. He helps you to your feet as you feel heat creeping into your face.

“Uh…thanks,” you say nervously. “I’m so sorry about that.”

He chuckles, leaning down to pick up your purse, which you hadn’t even realized you’d dropped during the collision. Your eyes widen as you notice the black lingerie poking out from inside the bag. You wonder if he notices, although he doesn’t mention or allude to it at all when he carefully hands the bag back to you. You snatch it quickly from his hands, sneakily reaching your hand in to push the lingerie back into its hidden place.

“It’s no big deal. It’s my fault for being so clumsy,” he says, flashing a crooked smile at you.

As his straight white teeth sparkle in the light of the hallway, you can’t help but grin back at him. A few moments of silence pass before one of you gets the courage to say something else.

“So…do you work here?” he asks, gesturing to your outfit.

“Oh, uh, sorta. I’m part of Mr. Presley’s…” your eyes wander quickly around your environment, desperately searching for an excuse that doesn’t involve your chest and face being covered in Elvis' cum. You suddenly see someone pass carrying a case of makeup and your face brightens. “...makeup crew. I’m one of his makeup consultants.”

“You do his makeup?”

“Well, I just sort of check it to make sure it’s up to standard, you know. The eyeliner and such,” you pull out as much knowledge of makeup as you can possibly access in your brain as your heart beats rapidly in your chest.

You know you shouldn’t be embarrassed to admit what you really do here, but you still feel too ashamed to fess up to it. You know there’s no way that this stranger is actually buying the idea that you’re a makeup artist for Elvis, considering what you’re wearing and the fact that your own makeup is probably smudged hideously from the crying and snotting all over.

“Cool. I’m one of the stagehands, so I carry some of the props onstage and help with the curtains and all that.”

“Oh, that’s super cool!” you say, folding your arms over your chest. “How did you get into that?”

“My mom was a singer back in the day, so I’ve always been around sets. How did you get into…what you do?”

“Oh, it’s just a job for money. There’s nothing that special about it, honestly.”

“Working that closely to Elvis Presley isn’t special?”

“He’s not as amazing as you’d think, actually,” you reply with a curt smile as you reflect on all the disappointments you’ve already experienced since becoming his sugar baby. “But it pays the bills.”

“I can understand that,” he says, staring down into your eyes.

You’ve been truthful with him, besides admitting what you do. Although you can’t explain why, you want this man to think highly of you. Elvis did say that you could date other people, so why shouldn’t you take a stab at this one. He’s handsome with curly brown locks, deep brown doe eyes, and a nicely shaped face. He’s very tall and decently built; you guess he has to be pretty strong to be able to toss set pieces around.

You abruptly stick your hand out for him to shake. His eyebrows raise but he takes your hand in his, giving it two solid pumps. You wiggle your fingers, assuming he’s going to release your hand but he holds onto it for a few seconds longer than you’re expecting. You smile sweetly as he releases your fingers slowly. You drag them across his palm and resist the urge to shudder with excitement.

It’s been upwards of five years since you last had a serious boyfriend, so the thought of maybe finding someone after all this time is extremely appealing. Not to mention that you’re desperate for some physical pleasure. With all of this teasing and leading-up to nothing, you’re starting to get fed up and very tired of the constant lack of tension relief.

“I’m Y/N,” you say.

“I’m-”

“Max!” someone shouts from a different spot in the backstage area. “Stop flirting and get your ass over here to help with the curtains!”

Your eyes shift toward a man yelling orders who you assume is in charge of the stagehands and the backstage activities. Max glances back at you with a shrug.

“Duty calls. Will I…see you here tomorrow?”

“Uh…no, probably not. I don’t think I work tomorrow and I have another job that I have to take care of on the side,” you lie, not too excited about the idea of coming down here more than necessary.

“Oh, damn. Well, what days do you work?”

“It’s sort of unpredictable, to be honest,” you can feel your palms growing sweaty with his constant questioning.

“Alright. Cryptic but alright,” he laughs, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. You bite your lip as you watch his biceps flex. If you were wondering, your question has now been answered. He’s strong strong. “Guess I’ll just have to hang out around here every day until I see you again.”

“Oh…” you drop your gaze, embarrassed and flattered by his charming flirting. “Well in that case, maybe I can make an exception for you. Here.”

You snatch a pen from the table next to you and scribble the number to your hotel room on his palm.

“You can reach me here. If you ever want to hang out or need help or, well, whatever,” you offer.

“And what if I need something tonight? I can call you then?”

You chuckle and bite your lip at his goofy smile.

“You can call whenever. And I’ll decide if I want to pick up or not.”

“Max Carver!” the stage manager shouts and Max jumps.

“Well, it was nice to meet you, Max. I’ll hope to see you again some time.”

“If I have anything to say about it, you will," he replies with a wink and a handsome grin.

You turn and start on your way out of the backstage area as you hear the stage manager shouting instructions to Max. You smile to yourself, just a little bit smitten with him.

As you pass the trash can on the way out, you click open your purse and pull the black lingerie out. You drop it into the can and get on your way back upstairs without giving the piece of clothing a second thought.

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