#obviously being aware of it is good - but atm that’s just making it more frustrating that i can’t stop

[starbuck]

i seriously do need to figure out how to be less angry and passive-aggressive, that’s gonna wreak havoc on my future relationships if i don’t nip that in the bud now.

#it’s terrible because i can FEEL it happening - i KNOW it #but i don’t know how to stop it… when i fuck up and my mom points it out i just get so ANGRY #primarily at myself for messing up in the first place but then it becomes anger at her as well #and all these awful hurtful things i COULD say pop into my head and i have to hold them back and go cool down (if i can) #so what i’m getting from all of this is that the core issue here is my being a perfectionist who fears the judgment of those i care about #but also sometimes i DO fuck up and DESERVE to be judged #and i can’t expect people to walk on eggshells for me and only judge me in ways i’m comfortable with #so i’ve gotta figure out how to fix that #but i don’t know how!! #obviously being aware of it is good - but atm that’s just making it more frustrating that i can’t stop #i’m at the point where i could forgive myself for just about any mistake no sweat #but if my mom Sees it and judges me for it - i lose it #even if she isn’t doing it in a mean way #bc she’s ALSO passive-aggressive because my Mom-mom is so all three of us are #and it INFURIATES me even tho i know i’m the exact same way #and anyone who didn’t grow up in the environment i did is just gonna correctly identify me as an asshole so 🤷🤷 #HOW DO I TURN THESE THINGS OFF????? HELP!!!!!!!!!

[brief-candle]

ᴛᴇᴀꜱᴇ - Laito Sakamaki

request info: succubus reader plays around with laito and makes him jealous on purpose.

they wanted her to become his girlfriend but i couldn't find a way to fit it in without the conversation looking kinda weird. and i also didn't write the scene where they did the devil's tango because this was on quotev and we gotta be family friendly pg clean over there.

i’m just posting the two things i did for dialovers bc i have nothing else to post atm,, after i finish the last request in my inbox i might write something self-indulgent... haven’t done that in a while so hmm

series: diabolik lovers.

notes: probably ooc laito, female reader, slight yandere, heavily implied nsfw (under the cut!!).

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───── ⊰

There was interest sparked from the moment they met eyes. Well, perhaps interest wasn't the correct word for it. Not for someone like Laito Sakamaki. To be truthful, he wasn't truly very interested with many people. Not when it was exceptionally easy to get what he wanted from them before he could move onto another of his victims.

For a short while, she seemed just as simple and easy as the rest of the people he'd bedded. Flirting back easily, smiling coyly as she did so. It was a telltale sign of interest, wasn't it? Many responded to him in that way, and from then on didn't seem to hold interest in anyone else. Only him, such a reaction born from minimal effort on his part.

What he wasn't expecting was for her to show others the same treatment with such ease, giggling along to lame jokes and getting very touchy as she did so. Everyone she seemed to interact with appeared to fall apart at the seams, heeding to her every beck and call very soon after. Seeing such a thing was strange to him, perhaps as he was not used to seeing someone else have such an effect over people. People that he was so used to controlling with the slightest lilt to his voice, the upturn of his lips having them fawning over him in an instant.

He found himself competing with her, silently declaring a war over the attention of their schoolmates. But no matter his determination that he would not lose- pride in that charm of his- he found himself losing every battle. The smallest input into a conversation from her would drive people insane with glee, the smallest of smiles raising people's moods for the entire day. Laito truly couldn't fathom how she could possibly do it, really.

For a moment he had deliberated that it may have been simply natural charm. That she simply wasn't aware of her effect on others, and had no idea that he was competing with her in the first place. However that was all very obviously disproved from the smug look in her eyes when she knew no one but him was looking. It was gone in a second, as someone had turned to talk to her once more, but there was no question that it had been there.

It seemed he'd have to up his game.

Rather than playing it tame with his ploys to steal the attention from her, he began to explore different tactics. Instead of outright fighting for attention (though no one seemed to notice that they were fighting for it), he started to use rather underhanded moves. Seducing more and more people than he'd done before, intimidating those that still stood by her, sometimes even going so far as to blackmail them. He was determined to be at the top of the food chain again, being the one that people thought of all day every day. Laito never really appreciated it, and chances were that he still wouldn't even after all of this. What he was appreciating was the entertainment- the challenge- that came from it.

What he would appreciate more is seeing her gradually break down because of it. Because of him. He was striving to reach a point where no one would even look at her, lest they risk his fury. But he'd still hold a hand out to her, to take her in and break her beyond repair, all under the guise of sympathy. Even just thinking about it got his nonexistent heart racing; her face, beautiful without a doubt, with reddened cheeks and puffy eyes that couldn't even cry any more than they had already. Those eyes, so vibrant and rich in their colour, filled with such despair and agony because of him. Though he couldn't decide if he wanted to show her off in such a state or keep her all to himself.

"What are you playing at, Mister Sakamaki?" Speak of the devil, and she may appear. Indeed, as he turned, he caught sight of you. Not that he needed to turn and face you, really, especially not with a look of confusion so feigned and practised upon his face. Yet he did so anyway, and internally delighted in seeing her.

He continued to play the innocently confused, answering: "Whatsoever do you mean?"

Though she was an exceptional actress, some of the irritation seeped through the cracks in her façade and tainted the usually affable tone in her voice as well as the sense of enchantment that lived in her eyes. She was visibly unimpressed by his faux guiltlessness, eyebrows furrowing just enough to form the slightest of creases before they were gone. Face back to neutrality, though not as beautiful as her brief frustration had been to him.

"I see," she paused, closing her eyes as he did so. If only she wouldn't do that, for she was much harder to read with her eyes closed. They were such a lovely colour, too. Thankfully she opened them once more when she continued, "I wouldn't recommend that you continue with what you're doing." As she spoke, that amiable smile came to her face again, one which didn't reach her eyes and distracted one very easily from her venomous emphasis which she delicately placed upon each softly spoken syllable.

That piqued his interest then, the threat spoken so mildly and the consequences left silent. He felt almost obligated to ask, failing to hide rising amusement, "Oh? And what will you do about it?"

She didn't rise to his challenge. Not immediately, anyway. But when she did, it was with a cutting civility and a long, cold stare: "I'll put bugs in your pants."

It was a child's threat, yes, but it was a threat which worked against the likes of Laito. Though he didn't reveal how much he detested at the mere idea of such a thing coming true. He hated the idea of insects being anywhere near him- never mind on him!

"The biggest ones I can find."

She was visibly trying very hard not to crack up at his reaction. No matter how much he tried to hide his discomfort, his pale skin paled even more. It was very tempting to tease and prod at him for it, but she resisted; it looked as if she'd be getting her way. She'd have got it one way or the other- that was something she was very good at- but it was always a pleasant surprise when it was this easy.

So, with an easy grin upon her face, she turned and headed down the hallway, left hand waving lazily, "pleasure doing business with you."

Oh, but it wasn't pleasant for him. He did keep his side of the one-sided bargain, but it was with extreme reluctance that only seemed to grow as time went on. With every fleeting touch she inflicted upon another, every simpering smile that they received- hell, every look she gave people began to grate on him. Why did she seem to give little bits of herself to everyone but him so freely? She barely even looked in his direction since their little exchange and days had began to merge with weeks, and he didn't know if he could take them forming months.

Especially since she always knew exactly what she was doing. The only times she would spare him a glance was when she did something that she knew would particularly annoy him. That was when she'd look in his direction, see him looking and stare just as smugly as she'd done before, with the same smugness that used to irritate him for different reasons.

It was still there now, poorly buried under false irritation as she tilted her head upwards to stare him in the eyes. Her eyes were somehow even more pretty up close, especially when looking in his direction.

"What are you doing, Sakamaki?" She was more relaxed this time, most likely due to having nothing to lose. Intrigue was very much present under layers of fake boredom, yet he didn't call her out on it.

"I could ask you the same question." Though he sounded relaxed, he wasn't as relaxed as he sounded on the inside. He'd acted on a whim, here, and even though the action wasn't unexpected of him, it felt rather foreign to him with her. There was something about her that seemed so different from anyone else he'd talked to in this school (apart from his brothers, of course), but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it might be.

She hummed in question, leaning forward until her nose nearly met his. So close, yet so far. How he wanted to lunge forward and take her lips in his, hoping it would satiate him somewhat.

"And why is that?"

He chuckled, not looking away from her for a moment; to break eye contact would be to admit defeat to her, and that was something he'd never do.

"You're full of questions today." Was all he responded with, barely acknowledging her question. She wouldn't have the satisfaction of knowing what he was thinking- how he was feeling- in the slightest. If he were to tell her then her ego would only grow, and that was the opposite of what he wanted.

He wanted her to squirm. To squirm like all the others when he pushed them so.

But she didn't.

"And you're dodging every single one of them." Finally, she broke eye contact, staring at his dark, loosely-tied necktie for a moment. Then she reached for it, twirling it around and around her finger with almost absent eyes. Around and around and around and around it went, and he mused that perhaps she'd never stop.

It did. Only when she reached up the tiniest amount to grip it in her hand, pulling it towards her. Their noses were very much touching there, and the slightest of friction from skin against skin had never felt so good to him before. Hell, he could've moaned from it had he not been so surprised.

Her eyes were so close, a colour so indescribably beautiful that he felt that he was drowning in an ocean of it from the sight alone. Especially so close. It was too close to be considered friendly- too close to even be considered aggressive. Well, not the type of aggressive that'd lead to a fight, anyway. Perhaps the other type of aggressive, though.

"You've been staring at me for a while," she stated, slightly tilting her head as she did so with an amused smile upon her face, "is there something you need from me?"

He, too, was amused by the situation. If he was not a vampire then he was sure his heart would've been beating out of his chest by now. It was a strange sensation, feeling so on-edge yet so immensely excited. Was this what it was like to play with fire? If so then he hoped it would never be extinguished.

"Perhaps," he cupped her chin in his hand, stroking it gently with long, slow movements of his thumb, "though I fear it's something only you can provide."

His gaze briefly strayed to her lips, lingering there intentionally longer than necessary, before flickering back up to her eyes. They narrowed in mirth.

"Oh? Is that so?"

Her movements were serpentine, head now close to his ear, so much so that her warm breath began to fan across his ice-cold neck.

"Well, then I can't deprive you if you're that desperate, now, can I?"

---------------

The sun was beginning to rise, yet neither of them noticed such a thing through the thick, dark curtains.

"I didn't think you were the dominant type," Laito spoke, the girl he was speaking to busying herself with dressing herself. He wasn't disappointed by any means, which was evident by his usual teasing, flirtatious tone of voice.

She snickered, "you certainly didn't seem to mind."

He grinned, waving an arm around in the air for emphasis, "of course not! It was a pleasant surprise."

"Though," he continued, staring at her whilst resting his face in the palm of his hand, "you still haven't told me what you are."

Completely unfazed by his question, she stared back with a smile still upon her face, "really- you haven't figured it out yet?"

Clicking her tongue, she strode over to her now-creased blazer that had been flung haphazardly onto the floor and shrugged it on, "I'm surprised. Surely you of all people have come across a succubus or two before, no?"

"A succubus?" He repeated, almost dumbfounded. As far as he knew, they were just some fantasy creature. But her being a succubus would answer a lot of his questions about the whole situation which had so far gone unanswered.

"Yes," she merely commented, slipping on her shoes now. At this point she was fully dressed, whereas Laito hadn't even bothered making an effort to put any clothes on.

With one final glance, she opened the door, "well, I hope to be seeing you a little more, Laito."

And with that, she left.

He hoped to be seeing a bit more than a little more of her. Let's just hope he doesn't get too greedy now, though.

#laito sakamaki #laito sakamaki x reader #yandere x reader #yandere laito #yandere laito sakamaki #x reader #laito x reader

[fluffyximagines]

This Feels Real

(Outer Banks) JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: You and JJ agree to fake date, but over time your feelings begin to feel real. 

Word Count: 3709

A/N: I’m so sorry I haven't posted in a few days. This is by far the longest imagine I've written and I wasn't a fan so ended up rewriting it. Hope you enjoy :)

Please send in some requests, I'm struggling with ideas atm.

Masterlist

“What about Topper?” Your mum asked, “he seems like a nice boy.”

“For the last time, I don’t want a boyfriend.” You sighed, shaking your head. You stepped into your dress, getting ready for the Midsummers party.

Your mum was constantly trying to set you up with guys, normally the sons of her friends, and you knew tonight would be no different. It’s not like you were opposed to having a boyfriend, you just didn’t like any of the ones she introduced you to. You thought they were all snobby, arrogant and spoilt, but that pretty much described most of the people you knew. You couldn’t help but feel as though you never belonged in the world in which you were living. You could never relate to the people around you. While they were all more focused on materialistic things, you wanted something more. But nonetheless, you sucked it up, these friends, however out of place you may feel amongst them, were all you had.

—————

You were currently at the Midsummers party, trying to avoid your mother and whatever boy she was trying to set you up with this time. Out of nowhere you heard a loud commotion. You craned your neck, standing on the tip of your toes to try and see what was causing all the fuss. You could see a blonde boy being dragged out of the party by a security guard. You recognised the boy as JJ Maybank, you didn’t know him well but had seen him around from time to time, at parties, and working at the club where you and your parents frequented.

You watched as he was forced out of the party, but not before downing a few people’s drinks and causing a scene. You couldn’t help but giggle slightly it was about time something interesting happened at one of these events.

—————

After a while, you grew tired of all the small talk with your parents’ friends and colleagues, and decided you needed some air. You exited the party, heading towards the front of the club where you knew it would be quiet.

“Oh, hi” You smiled, noticing the blonde boy from earlier leaning against a wall at the front of the club.

He just nodded his head in your direction before turning to look away from you.

You watched as he brought the joint that he was holding up to his lips, taking a deep breath in. “Can I take a hit of that?” You asked, gesturing to the joint in his fingers.

“You couldn’t handle it.” JJ scoffed, shaking his head.

“I think I can handle a little weed.” You replied, a hint of sarcasm evident in your tone.

“Suit yourself.” He shrugged, passing you the joint.

You took a deep breath in, feeling the smoke burn in your lungs. You tried to hide your cough, but it was no use, you bent over in a coughing fit. You could see JJ smirking from out of the corner of your eyes.

“Told you that you wouldn’t be able to handle it.” JJ shook his head as he snatched the joint from your fingers, returning it to his lips.

“So, what happened back there?” You questioned, gesturing towards the party.

“Got fired.” JJ responded shortly, continuing to smoke his joint.

You watched the blonde-haired boy breathing in, and blowing out, the smoke from his joint. As you did, an idea began to form in the back of your mind, slowly developing in your head. A plan not only to get JJ’s job back but also to get your mother to back off you about getting a boyfriend.

“I can help get your job back.” You announced, causing JJ to turn and look at you with his eyebrows raised. “But you would have to do something for me in return.”

“What could a kook possibly want from me?” JJ let out a small laugh as he shook his head.

“I want you to be my boyfriend.” You proposed, watching as JJ chokes on the smoke from his joint.

“Being a little forward, aren’t you?” JJ joked, “at least take me out on a date first.”

“Not like my real boyfriend.” You rolled your eyes.

You began to explain to JJ the plan that you had devised. JJ would pretend to be your boyfriend, it was obvious that your parents would hate the weed smoking, criminal boy from the cut, therefore your mother would stop pestering you to get a boyfriend.

“What’s in it for me then?” JJ questioned.

“You get your job back, and you get to piss off some kooks.” You shrugged.

“That’s always a bonus.” JJ smirked as he considered your plan. Eventually he nodded his head, “fine, I’m in.”

You jumped in excitement when you heard JJ agree, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer to your body. Realising what you were doing, you pulled back and cleared your throat, “sorry.” You reached out, signalling for JJ to shake it.

Once the two of you shook on it, you suggested it was a good idea for the two of you to make a contract. “We need something on paper, detailing the rules and boundaries.” You argued. JJ was hesitant at first, disagreeing with the suggestion that the two of you needed to follow set rules, “why can’t we just go with the flow?” Eventually he agreed, and so the two of you started making a list. The two of you would ‘date’ for 3 months, and in this time, you would attend parties together, meet each other’s friends, and just generally act like a couple. And of course, neither of you could tell anyone about your deal. You made sure to include your end of the deal, that you would help JJ get his job back. Once the 3 months were up, you would ‘break up’ and the two of you would go your separate ways.

“Oh, and one more thing.” You quickly added before you finalised the contract. “Under no circumstances do we fall for each other.”

“That won’t be a problem.” JJ smiled, “for me at least.”

And with that, the two of you finalised your plan, signed the contract, and your 3 months together began.

—————

Over the next few weeks, you and JJ began to hand out more and more. You introduce him to your friends, who made it pretty clear that he is not welcome within your friendship group, and he introduces you to the Pogues. Immediately, you become frond of the Pogues. You love how carefree and relaxed they are, spending most of your days with them out on the boat, drinking, soaking up the sun, and just having a good time.

The more you hang out with JJ, the more you begin to see the different sides to him. Like an onion, he was many different layers to him, some more obvious then others. You can clearly see how much he cares about his friends, and how he would do anything for the people that he cares about. You notice how easy it is for you to talk to JJ, about anything, and everything, the conversation just always seems to flow. Not to mention, he never fails to make you laugh, he sure is a funny guy. You begin to care for the blonde boy, looking forward to seeing him, all the while remaining aware of the nature of your relationship. You would not, could not, allow yourself to develop feelings for the boy, not when things must end in a couple of months.

—————

“What are you wearing?” You hissed, as you and JJ stood out the front of your house.

“A shirt.” JJ gave you a confused look.

“You weren’t supposed to get dressed up.” You explained in a frustrated tone. “They are supposed to hate you.”

“I wanted it to look like I at least tried.” JJ shrugged, not understanding why it bothered you so much, and feeling a bit hurt that you didn’t appreciate his effort to dress up for you.

You had invited JJ over for lunch so that your parents could meet your new boyfriend. So far, you had told your parents very little about JJ, and they had absolutely no clue you were dating someone from the cut, let alone him. You had to admit, you were pretty excited to see their faces when they realised that JJ was the boy that you had been spending so much time with. After all, JJ did have a terrible reputation for constantly getting arrested, something your parents were most definitely aware of.

“Mum, Dad, this is JJ.” You introduced JJ as you led him into the kitchen where your parents were. You saw both your parents faces fall as they saw JJ.

“Hi Mr and Mrs Y/L/N.” JJ gave them a small wave. “It’s really nice to meet you both.”

“Hello JJ.” Your mum tried to be polite, obviously faking a smile.

“Y/N can we talk to you.” You could see your dads face going red with anger, before he turned to look at JJ, “alone.”

JJ just nodded before walking into the next room, leaving you and your parents alone in the kitchen.

“What the hell is he doing here?” Your dad yelled, pointing towards the room where JJ was now standing.

“He’s my boyfriend.” You shrugged, “I wanted you guys to meet him.”

“He’s not welcome in my house.” Your dad shook his head, beginning to pace around the kitchen.

“Let’s just enjoy our lunch, we can discuss this later.” Your mum tried to calm your dad down.

You were now all sitting at your dining room table, JJ next to you, and your parent’s opposite. There was a tense silence in the air, no one was speaking. Both your parents were glaring at JJ from across the table. You were beginning to feel guilty for dragging JJ into this, but it was too late to back out now.

“The food looks really nice.” JJ broke the silence, smiling at both your parents. You gave JJ a reassuring smile when he looked at you to help him.

Before you could think of anything to say, your dad cleared his throat. “Why are you dating my daughter?”

“Well, I really like her.” JJ replied, struggling with what to say.

“Why?” Your dad continued to question him.

“Well she’s beautiful, and funny, and she’s not like anyone I’ve ever met before.” You couldn’t help but blush slightly as you listened to JJ’s words, something you very quickly tried to hide.

“How did you two meet?” You felt your stomach drop as your dad asked this question, you and JJ hadn’t talked about what you would tell your parents. JJ couldn’t tell them the truth, if they knew that you had attended parties at the cut, your parents would not hesitate to ground you.

“We have mutual friends.” You quickly answered the question before JJ could say anything.

“What friends? None of the friends we know would know someone like this.” Your dad questioned you, giving JJ a disgusted look when referring to him.

“Why are you being so rude!” You snapped at your dad, beginning to get frustrated at the way he was treating JJ.

“Y/N I don’t think your dad meant it like that.” Your mum interjected. “We are just worried; this family has a certain reputation to uphold.”

“What’s that supposed to mean.” You defended JJ.

“She means I’m not good enough for you.” JJ explained, giving you a sad smile.

“No, I just mean I want something better for my daughter. You aren’t the sort of person I want her associated with.” Your mother tried to explain, before realising that she wasn’t making it any better.

“But what if this is what I want.” You stood from your seat at the table, taking JJ’s hand and dragging him behind you. “We’re leaving.”

“Thank you for lunch.” JJ called from the doorway as you dragged him out of your house.

“Your parents are a bit harsh.” JJ joked once the two of you were standing out the front of your house.

“I’m sorry about that.” You shook your head, looking down at your feet.

“The plan was to make them mad.” JJ shrugged, “mission accomplished.”

“I know, but I didn’t expect them to say all that to your face.” You frowned.

“Most people just say it behind my back.” JJ nodded his head.

“You know what they said isn’t true, right?” You looked JJ in the eyes.

“Isn’t it?” You could see the sadness in JJ’s eyes as he said this.

“Of course it’s not.” You reached up to brush your thumb over JJ’s cheek. “I’d be lucky to have a boyfriend like you.”

“But I am your boyfriend.” JJ teased, letting out a small chuckle.

“I mean a real boyfriend.” You pulled your hand away, averting your gaze from JJ’s eyes.

“Yeah, right.” JJ sighed, running his hands through his hair. “I should go, see you later.”

You watched as JJ walked away from your house, sighing at the thought of facing your parents inside. You couldn’t help but feel disappointed in the way your parents had reacted to JJ. No. You shook that feeling, they weren’t supposed to like him, this was the plan after all.

—————

You were at a party that the Pogues had thrown at the boneyard. You had spent most of the night drinking and laughing with JJ. You couldn’t help but blush when you noticed that whenever a guy tried to hit on you, JJ would get overly protective. He would appear out of nowhere, wrap his arm around your waist, and press a kiss to your cheek, making sure to tell everyone that you were his girl.

The two of you were dancing, if you could call it that. You had drunk quite a bit that night and couldn’t do a lot other than stand there and sway. Luckily, JJ was there to help look after you, and hold you steady so that you didn’t fall over.

Suddenly, you tripped on JJ’s foot, falling into his chest. You looked up at JJ, your breath hitching in your throat as you noticed how close your face was to his. You wrapped your arms around his neck, leaning in closer and placing your lips to his. You felt his soft lips brushing against yours. He tasted like beer and weed, something that only drew you closer.

JJ took a sharp breath in, before slowly pulling away, his hands on your shoulders to hold you out in front of him. His eyes were wide in surprise and his mouth slightly open, you couldn’t help but giggle at the look of shock on his face.

“Gotta make it look real.” You leaned up to whisper in JJ’s ear.

“Yeah, right.” JJ nodded. Of course, you were too drunk to notice, but there was a clear look of disappointment on JJ’s face as he listened to your words. Obviously, it had all just been for show.

—————

It was almost midnight when you heard a small tap on your window. You walked toward the window, looking out to see a familiar blonde head.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” You whispered as you slid your window open.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know where else to go.” JJ climbed through your window, stumbling slightly and landing on your floor.

“JJ what’s going on.” You questioned, beginning to get worried.

“It’s not a big deal.” For the first time JJ lifted his head to look at you. You gasped as you took in his appearances, his face was littered with bruises, and his lip was bleeding.

“It looks like a big deal.” You quickly made your way to the bathroom, returning with the first aid kit. “Did you get in another fight with Topper or Rafe?”

“No.” JJ shook his head, “my dad he…” You just nodded, not wanting to push JJ to say more than he wanted to.

Once you had finished cleaning his wounds, JJ went to climb back out the window.

“Where are you going.” You asked, sitting down on your bed.

“Home, I guess.” JJ answered.

“You can spend the night here.” You offered.

“No, I shouldn’t.” JJ shook his head. “What if your parents find out?”

“I don’t care about them.” You frowned, looking over JJ’s bruises again. “I’m not letting you go home.”

JJ just nodded, climbing into bed next to you. You wrapped your arms around him, giving him a small squeeze. “Thanks Y/N.” JJ whispered.

“Always.” You whispered, gently rubbing your fingers in circles to comfort him.

—————

“You know what tomorrow is right?” You were out on the boat with JJ and the Pogues. You had your head resting on JJ’s chest as you soaked up the sun.

“What’s tomorrow?” JJ whispered into your ear.

“Our 3-month anniversary.” You answered, frowning slightly.

“Oh.” As JJ spoke, you felt his body tense up from behind you.

“Yeah.” You sighed.

“So I guess that means we’re done.” JJ answered.

“Yeah guess so.” You nodded.

That evening when you got back to the shore, you couldn’t help but feel sad, every part of you wanted to stay there with the Pogues forever. You had grown close to the Pogues over the past few months, you couldn’t imagine what you were going to do without them, especially JJ. It took everything in for you to leave John B’s that night, knowing you would probably never return. Of course, the Pogues didn’t understand why you had been acting so weird, still not being aware of the plan between you and JJ. As you went to leave, JJ offered to walk you home. The two of you were silent as you walked, neither of you wanting to be the first to say goodbye and admit that it was over.

“Well thanks for everything.” You smiled as you reached your front door.

“Yeah you too.” JJ nodded, looking anywhere but at you.

You leaned in to give JJ a hug, probably the last hug you would ever have with him. JJ’s arms held you close, squeezing tighter for a few moments before finally letting you go. You watched as JJ walked away, his head hung low, you wanted more than anything to run after him, but you wouldn’t.

—————

“I miss her.” Kie frowned as her and the rest of the Pogues sat in John B’s lounge room. JJ had eventually told them the truth about the two of you, giving in after endless questions about why you had broken up so suddenly.

“It’s not the same without Y/N.” Pope agreed.

“Dude, why don’t you just text her?” John B turned to look at JJ.

“Obviously you miss her.” Kie nodded.

“Doesn’t matter, none of it was real.” JJ shook his head.

“Looked real to me.” Kie shrugged.

“Nah, not to her.” JJ gave a sad smile.

Meanwhile, you were laying in your bed, watching another sappy romance movie.

“I think you should call him.” Your mum appeared in the doorway to your room.

“Mum, I told you we broke up.” You shook your head.

“Yes, but I don’t understand why.” She entered your room, taking a seat next to you on your bed.

“Just didn’t work.” You shrugged, not even bothering to think of a proper reason. “Not like you liked him anyway.”

“Maybe he wasn’t the person I imagined you with but I’ve never seen you as happy as you were with him.” Your mum began, causing you to turn your head and look at her. “At the end of the day, your father and I just want you to be happy, and it’s pretty obvious you are with JJ.”

You just nodded as tears started to form in your eyes. Your mum was right. You and JJ had started as a lie, but the feelings you had developed for him were real. With JJ, and with the Pogues, it was the first time you had felt like you really belonged, the first time you felt like you had people that really understood you. But how could you tell JJ that, after all, it’s not like he felt the same way.

—————

“Come in.” You called, hearing a knock on your bedroom door. You assumed it was your mum, the last person you expected to see was JJ.

“Hey.” JJ smiled as he entered your bedroom.

“What are you doing here?” You pushed yourself up in your bed so you were in a sitting position.

“You texted me to come over.” JJ gave you a confused look.

“What?” You began looking for your phone, before realising that it wasn’t in your room. “My mum.”

“Oh.” JJ’s smile fell from his face. “I can just go.”

“Wait.” You quickly reached out to grab JJ’s arm, stopping him from walking away.

“Yeah?” JJ turned to look at you.

“Umm.” You hesitated, nervous to tell JJ what you actually wanted to say. “I miss you. And the Pogues. Hanging out with you guys, it was the first time I actually felt like I belonged. And I know you and I were fake but it started to feel like something more.” A blush formed on your cheeks as you realised that you had just blurted that out. You turned your head away, avoiding eye contact with JJ.

“It felt real to me too.” JJ placed his hand on your cheek, turning your face to look at him.

“We sound like all the cheesy movies I’ve been watching.” You laughed, shaking your head.

“Y/N will you be my girlfriend? For real this time.” JJ asks, running his thumb over your cheek.

You didn’t answer, instead opening your drawer and pulling out the contract you and JJ had constructed 3 months prior. JJ watched as you tore it apart into tiny little pieces, the two of you chuckling. Once you were done, you placed your lips to JJ’s. The two of you remained like that for a few moments, before pulling away. You had a huge grin on your face, and you could see that JJ had one exactly the same.

#outer banks #jj #jj maybank #rudy pankow #imagine #outer banks imagine #jj imagine #jj maybank imagine #rudy pankow imagine #oneshot #outer banks oneshot #jj oneshot #jj maybank oneshot #rudy pankow oneshot #fluff #outer banks fluff #jj fluff #jj maybank fluff #rudy pankow fluff #fanfiction #outer banks fanfiction #jj fanfiction #jj maybank fanfiction #rudy pankow fanfiction #outer banks x reader #jj x reader #jj maybank x reader #rudy pankow x reader #john b routledge #kiara carrera

[darkgeminisworld]

This is gonna be a rant about a probably toxic friend so if you don't wanna read it, this is a heads up.

Okay so for several reasons, most of them being that I need to move on, I decided to write this lengthy rant about a friend I'm pretty sure will not be a friend of mine for much longer, which sucks bc he's almost my only irl friend but also feels good bc he's exhausting and I'm pretty sure he's also toxic.

I've met this guy like 6 and a half years ago, and we pretty much bonded over shared interests pretty fast. The first thing that bothered me was that he'd always be late, which would be absolutely fine if he'd been honest about it. But writing that it's five minutes until he's there and then showing up 30 minutes after that, or writing "I'm on your doorstep" and taking another ten minutes to show up, almost every single time, isn't, especially since I strained to be on time the first months (meaning I'd be too early bc my brain only does too early or too late, nothing in between). And his being late wasn't just 20 or 30 minutes, several times he was over an hour late. Oh, and once when we had agreed to meet he legit wasn't home and I waited around 2 hours, which I really should have held a grudge for back then and been way more pissed at him.

The second thing that bothered me was that he was way too nosy. He'd ask if I'm free to meet and play video games or whatever and whenever I said no he'd ask what I'm doing and if I can't manage my time another way to make time for him. And the thing is, not only did I not ask several times after he told me that he's busy that day, but I actively told him, several times over the course of about the last two years, that it bothers me and asked him to tone it down. My problem here is only that he didn't stop after I asked him to, bc before I told him and asked him, how was he supposed to know.

Coming out to him went well, though he did ask me whether I'm into him, which... No. Obviously it could've gone a lot worse, but still.

The next is more a small annoyance, a small itch, although it might have been a warning sign. He couldn't handle defeat very well. In most video games he was better, but he low-key aggressively denied it when I pointed out the win-lose ratio in my all-time favourite video game series and he'd try to cheat at other games. If it was only about him being competitive I'd understand, but that doesn't mean trying to rewrite the past by blatantly lying about it and ridiculing me for pointing out that that's bullshit, especially since it's only games, played for the fun of it.

We also went to the cinema sometimes, though if it had been up to him it'd have been way more often and that's another point where he really didn't let it go after getting a no. Whether he wanted to watch a horror movie after being told, several times, that I really don't like horror movies, or just the general question of whether we'd be going to the cinema, he'd ask again and ask what I'm doing, why did I not want to go, would another time be good, couldn't I ask my parents for money (which, to be fair, I could have. But I preferred not to bc back then it was really stressful bc we had to move and renovate and I just didn't wanna add more frustration if that makes sense? Plus I wanted to get my hands on some things, which required to save up) etc. Almost every time we did end up going, it was he who initiated it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I wanted to see some of the movies just as badly as he did, but... And if he can't even accept "no" from a friend of several years (also a 100% guy friend as far as he is aware bc I didn't start to address gender issues with him), I'm worried about other contexts with that word. Also we did some kind of text role play (just texting back and forth with OCs inserted into several fantasy works like the Inheritance Cycle, who would parttake in the storyline, no set rulebook or anything) and his characters did some questionable and even outright deplorable things and when I wanted his character to suffer consequences, he always wanted him to get away with it. Like, his idea for one of his characters "pranking" mine in reaction to a prank which in itself was a retaliation to his character's pranks was kidnapping and waterboarding my character. And he kept defending it as a prank and demanded that my character should just forgive his character, like... It really made (and continues to make) me wonder and worry just how much of his darker thoughts I don't know about. And I don't know how accurate it is but I once saw a post with a quote that went along the lines of "man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." (btw I couldn't think of a satisfactory way to phrase it so I ended up looking up the quote and apparently it's from Oscar Wilde)

So I spent a fair amount of time arguing with him over that and trying to explain to the best of my ability why it was wrong, and for some time it went better.

Fast forward a few months to the blm protests or more specifically news coverage of it and info I sent him. He defended cops and blamed the protestors and even justified the atrocities of the cops, so that was the first instance where we had a huge fight. I practically drowned him in links and videos etc and some weeks into that I thought I'd managed to get through to him (Spoiler: I didn't really get through to him) so I kept it in mind but continued to have contact with him and everything (bc at the time I didn't know that I didn't really get through as much as I thought).

From there on it pretty much went downhill. We had been thinking about doing a trip to London for a few days (his idea but at the time I really wanted to go, it was around 2 years ago when I still practically worshipped that one author, she who must not be named) and to this very day he's not letting it go completely. Even though the pandemic puts lots of obstacles in the way and I have more important things to worry about, namely final exams and applications. Even though London is expensive as shit and I still have no way to earn money atm. And about the vacation, I finally canceled last summer (and gave the aforementioned reasons) and he completely lost his shit and got super aggressive, insulted me and tried to guilt-trip me into taking that back and agreeing to still go on that vacation with him. Then we got into another fight where he wanted me to cancel the vacation with my grandparents, which was already planned and booked and everything in order to make time for the vacation I'd already said I don't want to go on with him anymore and aggressively demanded (he didn't ask, he sent a demand and bombarded me with exclamation marks) to know when exactly I'd be going on vacation with them. Then he went offline after I refused and ignored the next few messages I sent him and only replied when I asked "what I'd I reconsidered my stance on the trip?". I mean, baiting him with that definitely was shitty of me, but the result showed that that was basically what he wanted, pressure me into still going on that vacation. That specific conflict had been going on for weeks, bc despite me telling him that it's counterproductive and detrimental to my mental health to increase the pressure and therefore my anxiety about getting a job to pay for the trip, he kept pressuring me while acknowledging that he's giving me lots of pressure and anxiety and even using that against me.

He also didn't acknowledge that most times we try to meet, he goes offline for hours before replying and disappearing again. That would be absolutely fine if he didn't accuse me of doing that, which btw is his standard technique and it took me a long time to realize that. He always tries to shift the blame to make me look like the one at fault, and he always, always demands that I apologize when we had a fight via WhatsApp.

And when I started enforcing my boundaries and telling him to stop asking again and again why I can't meet, what I'm doing, or demanding other explanations, he started to attack me for the kind of language I use, so when I'm ever so slightly sarcastic he immediately latches onto that and creates a new conflict.

But this still isn't all, oh no. He's also basically an ecofascist, and is fully okay with sacrificing social justice to save the environment, completely choosing to ignore that the people he's protecting are the ones at fault and that the ppl who contribute the least are the ones experiencing the hardest ecological consequences.

He's said multiple times that he thinks both sides are equally bad, in the context of left and right in general as well as antifascism and fascism and that he doesn't "condone the oppressed defending themselves with any means necessary" bc that, too, would include violence. He's defending the "right to free speech" even when right-wingers say really disgusting shit, he disagrees with prohibiting demonstrations of ppl who think that Corona is a hoax, he has zero empathy for ppl who are affected, who suffer long-term consequences from infections, not even for ppl who die from it (he literally said "people die anyway, that doesn't justify imprisoning everyone else") and somehow still thinks he has the moral high ground.

And the last bit he did was explaining to me, from his endocisallohet white guy perspective, how I'm "not discriminated against" bc gay ppl in my country can get married (only since 2017 btw) and when I, despite the fact that I shouldn't have had to and that it was a real blow to my mental health, wrote him a message that was almost the length of an essay, he calmly started to question my replies with the detachedness of someone who's discussing whether pineapple belongs on pizza and demanding further explanation. To top it off, he said that marginalized ppl have to always reply to everyone calmly and politely, no matter if it was offensive bc the person asking might be unaware of that. Otherwise, he said, everyone would be right to stop listening to us. Like, he literally said that we don't deserve human rights if we're not licking the boots of our oppressors if that way of thinking is followed through to the end.

I almost forgot, he also thinks that white ppl should have a say in whether something is a racist slur, or whether something is racist in general (we're both white, but at least I'm trying my best to unlearn what my upbringing taught me instead of being the cliché of the white person who goes "how dare you call me racist, I've never been more insulted in my whole life!", which is basically his reaction)

So up until this last fight, I conceded some ground to him to end the fights and keep him as a "friend" not only bc I feel horrible when I imagine losing one of my only irl friends but also bc I was hoping I could get through to him and educate him, to the best of my ability, on how to be a good ally to marginalized people. But the disregard with which he treats my explanations why the way he talked (wrote) about marginalized people is absolutely not okay and the fact that he just told me that he genuinely doesn't see how he did anything wrong even after I explained it to him in detail is just too much to bear at this point.

Oh, and while looking through the chat to prove him a liar I found that apparently, to him a promise is a promise, no matter whether it was given under pressure or voluntarily, so do with that what you will.

#toxic friendship? #rant

[minblush]

(I'm the pervious poor anon lol) also....I was thinking about those bt21 plushies and how expensive they were .... like really......I seriously feel like the only way I can be an avid and great fan is if I have a lot of money. I feel so excluded. And I know I shouldn't be so dramatic about it or anything but I can't imagine how bad other people must feel who are also fans of bts with little money as well.

yeah i know, like the merchandise is cute but when you take a step back and think about it, what is it made for, really? just to make money, and since the end goal is for these things to sell, that automatically excludes people that can’t afford it. bighit also aims to increase demand by artificially limiting stock, which is also kinda icky…honestly i’ve always had this issue with bighit because they get increasingly more exclusionary when it comes to money, it’s one of the reasons i’m not super into the fancafe and them selling exclusivity alone, remember when bighit made us pay so we can watch the stream celebrating THEIR ANNIVERSARY even? lol…bighit just kind of.. they don’t want to just do well, they want ALL the money, as much as possible! and you can even see it with how they make the boys take like, literally any advertising deal, whatever the product is just have the boys hold it and get some money, they’re gonna be promoting a bank, dunking donuts, and if you put it in a list…promoted mcdolands even, a duty free operator, phone operators, fried chicken, cosmetics brand, clothes brands, school uniforms, messaging clients, a terrible movie, a whole city, and god knows what else… but well, that’s what a company does, so i shouldn’t be mad, but it’s hard when they try to act like they are so fan friendly and how bts have personal integrity in the company, but when you look at the reality… yeah… i love the boys but i’ll never get why people even like bighit much, they treat the boys alright, but to fans? they are just a greedy company and the fans to them are only ATMs and nothing more… so yes it sucks, but please don’t feel bad about it, you are more than an ATM, you have more to offer as a fan, don’t let them make you feel like you aren’t a real fan or like you aren’t a part of things if you don’t spend money, the company wants to make you feel that way, don’t let them win, support the boys in your own way, if being a fan doesn’t make you feel happy or fulfilled, then what’s the point? :(

Anonymous said:Oh, about this Jimin cold thing. I’m a bit like him, I guess. I’m not always smiling or acting cute, my face looks like I’d kill when I’m not smiling and in reality I love be by myself. So a lot of people that saw me from a far thought that I was cold/rude. But my close friends say that when it needs to interact with others and make then feel better I’m the best choice bc I’m “cute and funny even when I curse”. And truth be told: acting cute/smiling all the time is tiresome. -🌻

yeah i think a lot of people would relate to this sort of story, people aren’t just one thing ;; thanks for sharing ♥

Anonymous said:I do see your point about the game now! I guess since I never felt the need to invest money in a rhythm game I never thought this was so similar to gambling. Obviously, I knew the game was designed to bring in profit, I just never thought the psychology behind it runs so deep. Now that I think about it, the bts game is designed to be even more frustrating. I played the SM one (that is was also made by Dalcome) and it wasn’t as hard to gain cards or points

i think about this stuff because i’m really invested in video games and i actually read a lot of in depth articles and such on the issue, since i also find it interesting from the psychological standpoint,i was a victim of it in the past. honestly these games are easy profit so i understand why it’s done, but from an ethical point of view i have a problem with it. and yeah same, i still hope they will recalibrate it because right now the game is way too unrewarding without paying, i’ve been playing it all day yesterday and i’m still just level 3? and i don’t have any good cards at all, i already had the itch in me to buy a pack that guarantees an S card, especially seeing namjoon showing them off too kadjsd like AAAAARGH, these games really are targeted at people like me who aren’t as strong psychologically dakjds, but since i learned so much about how these games operate it’s easier to stop and say NO, THIS IS WHAT THE GAME WANTS! lmaoo… self-awareness, or any awareness..it really does wonders for you 

#ask #anon

[rhiisawitch]

Can’t We Live a Normal Life? -Marauders era - Part 1

Warnings- None ATM (will be violence, swearing, etc in other chapters but will be labelled and tagged).

Summary- Lyra is dreading her first day at Hogwarts, starting in her 5th year is hard enough, never mind when you have a case of secrets.

A/N- My first fic posted on here (used to post on wattpad). I would say I would try to update this weekly but know it won't happen like that, but I'll try. So enjoy :)

Masterlist

There has to be a free cabin somewhere… Lysandra thought as she dragged her trunk through the narrow aisles of the Hogwarts Express, she one: didn’t want to be surrounded by disruptive children, and two: really didn’t want questions about who she was and why others had never seen her before. It was bad enough starting a school in your 5th year without being questioned about it in the first 5 seconds of being there, or before she got there. Luckily, most of the arraignments had been sorted out over the holidays, Lyra had already been sorted into Gryffindor house, saving her from being sorted with the first years, and the embarrassment and attention that would bring her.

She let out a sigh of relief when she finally found a cabin free of people and awkwardly manoeuvred her trunk into it and onto the luggage rack. She felt exhausted by the time she finally sat down, pulling a book out of her satchel and gazing out of the window at the clock hanging on the platform wall, 10:50, only 10 more minutes and she would be going to school… what a strange thought, she laughed at the thought and opened the book, trying to drown out the sound of people. She was vaguely aware of the train pulling off and relaxed slightly, allowing her mind to wander deeper into the book. That was until her peace was rudely interrupted.

Stood in the doorway where 4 boys, who must have been about Lyra’s age, stood in the door way, the leader, or so that’s what he looked like to her, was staring at her, with his messy black hair falling into his eyes slightly. She stared back, daring him to speak first.

‘You’re in our compartment,’ he told her, she paused for a second, looking at the boy, her jaw dropping slightly. But before she had a chance to respond, another boy pushed in front of him, he was taller than the first and scruffier in appearance, Lyra also noticed that he had several long scars across his face.

‘What my friend meant to say was could we take these seats, as everywhere else is full.’ The boy smiled shyly, and Lyra nodded at him, returning the smile, knocking her bag off the seat and kicking it under her own, she heard the boy thank her before dropping her gaze back to her book, but was less successful at drowning out the noise now it was in the same room as her. She could hear the boys shuffling around putting their trunks on the shelves, and noticed that the two black haired boys, whom Lyra couldn’t decide if they were brothers or not, did all the heavy lifting, while the 3rd guided them and the smallest mousy haired boy watched with awe as if it was the most amazing thing he had ever seen. She rolled her eyes and as the 4 settled down managed to begin reading again.

She must have succeeded in ignoring them for a good 6 hours, ploughing her way through most of her book, before she heard the boy’s minds turn to her, and felt their eyes on her.

‘Maybe she’s deaf?’ The boy with the neater, longer, black hair queried, leaning forward and balancing his chin on his hands.

‘Or mute?’ His brother (Lyra wasn’t 100% sure) guessed. They must have tried getting her attention earlier in the journey then, and she found it funny that they were coming up with reasons for her ignoring them.

‘or I’m just very good at ignoring people.’ She didn’t even look up but knew that the scared boy was smiling at her, and the dark-haired boy’s own smiles had faded. ‘I would have thought that if I was deaf then, well the healers at St. Mongos can fix that, and mute? Wouldn’t I have responded in some way?’ they were now looking at her dumbstruck, whilst the smallest was looking between them and the other boy who wasn’t even trying to hide his laughter. ‘Did you need something or do you just enjoy annoying people?’ a smile tugged at her lips as the words came out.

‘Just wanted to tell you: you might want to get into your robes were almost there.’ the one with the messy hair snapped. Lyra’s smile dropped, he obviously didn’t like to be outsmarted. She nodded at him, and moved to get her robes out of her trunk, but wasn’t quite tall enough to open the latch on the case, she sighed in frustration before being helped by the scarred boy, who Lyra had already decided was the nicest of the 4.

‘Thank you,’ she whispered as he pulled her robes out for her, and saw him smile slightly at her.

‘there’s a toilet at the end of the carriage.’ He said it quietly enough so the others couldn’t hear him and Lyra thanked him again before leaving the compartment to get changed.

‘Always so chivalrous Remus.’ The messy haired boy mocked.

‘Mabey if you were a little more, Lily might pay more attention to you, James.’ Remus retorted making James’ friend laugh.

‘Touché.’ James laughed, clearly considering Remus’ point, then rolling his eyes at his friend. He then collapsed back onto the chairs, now wearing the scarlet lined robes of Gryffindor house. ‘Well, she is pretty. What do you think Sirius?’ Remus looked at him confused, then between the other two boys, unsure of the comment.

‘Dark hair, green eyes, freckles, we’ll have to keep that in mind won't we, just in case things don’t go well with mystery girl. Peter?’ Sirius laughed, and Remus rolled his eyes, the laughed as Peter, who had been too busy tying his tie to pay attention, realise that he was being spoken to, jumped looking at Remus.

‘What?’ He stuttered, causing Remus to also begin laughing, and taking pity on the boy, fixing the knot of his tie, shaking his head.

‘Now if you excuse me I have to patrol.’ Remus excused himself from the cabin, sighing at the jeers about his role of responsibility. He began walking down the corridor smiling as he saw the other prefect in the year. ‘No trouble then Lily?’  

She smiled back, ‘I would have thought you would have been the first to know if there was any.’ Remus laughed at that, he was friends with the two biggest trouble makers in the school. ‘there not planning anything, are they?’

He laughed again, ensuring the prefect that, to his knowledge, they weren’t. Lily shook her head and moved past him, and he carried walking up the carriage, peering through the glass of each compartment, keeping an eye out for items on Flitch’s list of banned products. Before long he saw the girl who was sitting in the same cabin as him, walking back towards him, her hair falling over her face as she struggled with her tie. ‘Do you want some help?’ Lyra jumped slightly, not realising who had spoken for a second, she nodded and he quickly fixed the knot she was trying to tie. ‘you need to wrap the tick end around the thin bit twice then tuck it in, then it will work.’  

‘Thank you.’ She smiled and the pair stood awkwardly for a second.

‘So, you’re in Gryffindor.’

‘Yeah…’

‘What year?’

‘5th.’

‘We’ll be in some lessons together then.’ Remus saw Lyra’s face drop slightly, realising she wasn’t sure about his friends. ‘Don’t worry James and Sirius aren’t that bad, they can just be a bit…’

‘Obnoxious.’

‘Yeah, that’s a good word for it.’ Remus laughed, they stood in silence for a few seconds again, avoiding eye contact with each other. ‘umm… I have to hang back when we get off the train, make sure everyone gets to the carriages alright, if you want I could introduce you to Lily, who you’d probably sharing a dorm with, then you’d know someone there.’

The girl gave Remus a small smile, ‘Okay.’ She bit her lip slightly, ‘ that would be really helpful, thank you.’ She turned back towards the cabin, leaving Remus to continue his patrol, then he realised,

‘Hey,’ he called after her, ‘I didn’t get your name.’

‘Lyra’

‘Remus.’ Before he turned away Lyra smiled at him, one of those infectious smiles that you can't help but return.

‘Nice to meet you. Remus.’

Part 2

#marauders era #marauders #harry potter #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #fanfic #oc #sirius x oc #lily evans #lily potter #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #moony #wormtail #padfoot #prongs

[bloodsbane]

relating to that last post somewhat, i was actually listening to some new game grumps eps and I was thinking about how dan and arin’s friendship strikes me as very mutually caring and genuine, and the general dynamic of the show changed a lot after jon left (and developed even more as the years went on). 

like, okay, this discussion is mostly far removed from the current jon issues. im not really talking about that atm. even before all that, i had this feeling.

i feel like a great example to showcase the difference is that, not once (as far as i can remember/am aware of) has arin or dan ever made one another legitimately upset on the show. im sure, like any friends, they haven’t always seen eye to eye or argue about things - that’s normal. but never on the show have they gone too far with teasing or joking in a way that makes the other feel frustrated or bad.

like, they tease each other. they’re maybe even a little mean, in that way friends can be. in the new resident evil episodes i was watching, dan plays a few spooky jokes on arin and teases him while he’s got a VR headset on. but dan is also always aware of how arin feels and repeatedly suggests arin stops using VR when he seems too scared or uncomfortable, and it made me think about how careful dan really is, and considerate. 

arin is careful too! he and jon used to throw shit at each other all the time, and that’s fine, that’s normal, friends can call each other dumb mean names n shit and usually no one cares. but i think it’s notable that with dan, arin always seems more careful about what he says? it’s happened multiple times, where he’ll say something mean in a joking way or call dan a mean name and then he actually immediately apologizes for it (and it’s so funny, like it’s both a joke and genuine as hell, which is why it’s a good repeat goof). I get the feeling arin never wants to actually hurt dan’s feelings though, so he is instinctively more concerned about makings sure dan doesn’t think he means what he says when he’s being rude and goofy. 

the biggest difference between dan-era and jon-era grumps, i think, is shown when you compare all that to the episode (nickelodeon splat i THINK, or GACKED or something, some sponsored sports game they played) where arin actually gets for real, legitimately mad at jon. jon figures out how to do something in the game and he refuses to tell arin, whether to give himself an edge or just to tease (i think it was both, maybe). arin doesn’t see that as fair and doesn’t understand why jon would act like that and he actually gets upset! and as far as i can remember, jon still never explains it. he sounds surprised that it’s actually making arin upset, and arin admits his frustration, so it’s not just interpretation on the viewers’ part. 

i don’t mean this as any sort of parallel commentary for ‘current events’ or anything. it’s something i’ve always thought about and noticed as a GG fan, the way things changed and developed. i remember i was so sad when jon left GG - i had no idea who dan was, i didn’t think he was as appealing or funny at first, and i wasn’t sure how i felt about new people (suzy, ross, barry) coming onto the show. 

but now i think dan becoming a part of GG was probably the best thing that could’ve happened to it. i love danny a lot, i think he’s a great guy who’s very kind and creative and inspirational as all hell, and he so obviously has a big caring heart. he’s not perfect by any means but he’s someone who wants to be a good person and who’s willing to learn from his mistakes. he brought a very genuine, unique energy to the show and his dynamic with arin is super special to me. 

ahh, im sorry, i just care about GG a lot. i’ve been a huge fan since the beginning, despite any ups and downs, and it’s something that makes me very very happy. so i just have thoughts on the subject, and it was on my mind today! things have been so fucking stressful as of late but the second i got to hear dan and arin laughing at each other and goofing around and enjoying one another’s company i felt like things were gonna be fine. these goons are very dear to me. 

#banebabbles #game grumps #UH #long post #THIS REALLY ISN'T ABOUT RECENT JON STUFF I PROMISE #i mean y'all know where i stand with all that nonsense already #i just don't want people to think i'm suddenly looking back and seeing shit in a new way bc of what he's said/done recently #even before 2014 shenanigans you could tell the difference imo

[inspo-01]

7.4.20

Break ups are never easy, no matter what the situation was. I feel so lonely right now, so much is going on in life and I feel stuck and hopeless. Life sucks. My bf and I just broke up. Its good that we did, I know it but its still hard. 

It was his birthday weekend. I had constantly asked what his plans were that weekend so I could plan something special for him. He had plans with his friends and family and things were still up in the air. So all he said was Friday we’d be going out to bars at night. Ok, well that was my last day at work and I didn't get off till 6pm. My friends had planned to meet up for dinner that day to also celebrate a friends birthday but as I worked I wasn't able to make it. I made my way to the city right after work getting to my bf’s place at 7:30pm. As I was arriving a huge storm hit, so I got soaked walking into his apartment. I enter and the place is filled with friends drinking, didn't expect that. I go into my bf’s room slightly surprised and he asks if I’m ready that we would be leaving in about an hour. clearly soaked and having just gotten off work I respond with a no stating I wasn't aware that they were pregaming and we’d be heading out so early. He left the room as I rushed to get ready and redo my hair that had gotten messed up from the rain. Once I was ready I walked out to throw away some trash as an excuse to scope out where everybody was to join in. His roommate was sitting at a table with his group of friends as they were also celebrating his birthday that weekend. In the kitchen was my bf and his guy friends just standing around in a circle talking. I felt outta place. Should I got stand next to my bf like a dog just standing next to his owner? or should I go see if there’s room at the table with random people and his awkward roommate? neither I went back to the room and hated myself for being so antisocial. I just felt uncomfortable and out of place for some reason. It made me kind of upset but I knew I had no reason to be because that was who I was being at the moment. My bf walks in a few minutes later hoping he’d ask me to go join them out there, he actually just says that his sister would be arriving soon if I could go entertain her while he hungout with his friends. So I was like ok? do I go out now? again hoping he’d say yes and include me in on what was going on out there, he said no wait here I’ll let u know when my sister gets here. so that clearly upset me. I knew I had no right to be angry at him because of how antisocial I was being at the moment but what he said really made me even more upset. knowing it was his birthday that weekend, I didn't want to ruin the mood so I tried to just push it aside and at least be glad that his sister arriving would give me a push to not be so antisocial. so I got out there tried my best to be a bit more social and pull up some chairs for his sister and I at the table where his roommates friends were at. luckily the guy next to me, which I faintly remembered previously meeting, started a conversation with me and I tried to talk a bit with his sister and gf too. now I usually wouldn't be this way but the party just seemed very separated and my bf just seemed really busy with his friends so yea it was hard trying to come out and be social. whatever we all get ubers and headed to the bars. yes by that time I was upset that my bf had told me to wait in the room, it just felt so shitty, so I wasn't giving the best responses to my bf at that time. in the uber my bf turns to me and “whispers” why are u acting like a bitch right now you need to stop, in the most demanding and angry voice I have ever heard come out from him. nope, to not get into an argument I simply began to text him, don't talk to me that way idk who u think u are but don't try to disrespect me. by the time we reached the bars clearly we weren't on good terms. we got there pretty late and because of the restrictions because of the virus right now we didn't spend much time there. my bf pulls me aside at the bar and ask why I'm acting that way. I try to explain that what he said in the room and his tone of voice in the uber really upset me but I'm not sure much of what we were discussing really got to him cuz he was probably drunk by that point. now I know I'm in the wrong here for being bitchy on his birthday but the way he talked to me was just unacceptable. see all these things just built up to what was to come. so we make our way back to their apartment with a smaller group this time and same thing in the uber he talks to me in that same tone. again I stayed quiet knowing It’d be best to bring it up and remind him it was unacceptable the next day when he was sober. anyway back at the apartment we continue to drink and all that. well as people started to leave I remember going into the room and somehow just fell asleep on the floor, in childs pose lol. well I remember being woken up by a forceful push. I wake up bewildered and see my bf in the bed looking at me. I question angerly what his problem was and why he had pushed me like that. with an attitude he responds saying he didn't mean to push me so hard and I honestly don't remember much but somehow  the conversation escalated into an argument. I was upset asking why he was being so forceful and I remember asking if I could sleep in the corner of the room without him bothering me or hurting me. somehow it just kept escalating and I  remember he reaches out and slaps me across the face. crying at that point I'm sure I swung back. He’s throwing all my bags at me telling me to leave. drunk and upset I'm asking him to let me just sober up and id leave first thing in the morning. he did not give a fuck he was pushing me out the door he’s telling me he didn’t care to just sleep in my car. Meanwhile I remember trying to call my brother to pick me up but he didn't answer, I called my friend as we passed the living room where his friend and sister had knocked out. He’s pushing me out, I'm crying as my friend picks up my phone dies and I'm left outside alone, drunk, and crying hauling my bags to my car. I just remember sitting in my car not sure what the hell to do barley processing what just happened. I think I was in a bit of a shock cuz it sobered me up enough to focus on driving myself home, safely.

The next few days were interesting. I couldn't believe that happened to me. He tried to reach out saying he was beyond sorry and he was extremely shameful and couldn't believe he himself did that. At first, I was sure I was not getting back together with him. After receiving many texts saying how sorry he was and that he would do all in his power to fix things, I was convinced that he deserved a second chance. People fuck up. I’ve fucked up in the past as well. After what had happened I wasn't too sure things could go back to how they used to be, at least not right away. I needed time to forgive him and I explicitly told him It wouldn't be the same and I needed my space. He seemed very understanding when we texted. Although he told me I was at fault too, and I recognize that I was being a bitch earlier that day and I should have been more mindful that it was a celebration for his birthday I still don't think what he did was right. He also brought up an incident that had happened a year ago in which I was drunk and was about to dance with another guy. That incident was a fuck up on my part and I had done the best I could to fix it along with my “Flirty” behavior I would sometimes show. We had came along way from that in my opinion and I felt that it wasn't right for him to try to justify what he did that night by bringing up my past. While yes that gave me some incentive to give him another chance I felt that he was using that again to justify his incident. I tried to explain it wasn't the right time to bring it up because it felt that way. 

A week after the incident we decided on getting dinner together. He came over and was trying to be very loving and touchy and I honestly just wanted my space. Like I had said I needed time to in a way to move on from what had just happened. It was fine until we were sitting in the restaurant, he brought up the incident like it was nothing. I know he was just trying to talk about it with me and I tried to just recognize that. Somehow our conversation diverted to me and what I had done a year ago. He looked at me and said “if you ever do that again I'm done, I'm breaking up with u” in my head I was just thinking like...are u serious how are u bringing that up right now and threatening to break up with me over what had happened a year ago when I'm literally on the verge of breaking up with u for slapping me? I left the restaurant frustrated. I ended up breaking the silence in the car and once again explained that it wasn't fair for him to try and bring it up considering what we are gong through atm. His response was that in his eyes dancing with someone else is worse than being hit. While we have different views on that I acknowledge the fact that I what I had done was not right. but again it just wasn't the right time to bring that up again. 

He texted me as he left my place saying that what had happened really seemed to have damaged me and that I should really think about whether I wanted to continue our relationship. Obviously it hurt and obviously it was gonna take time to fix things, our relationship was not gonna just go back to how it was right away, which I had clearly explained to him when he begged to give him another chance. He texted me about an hour later once he was home saying that I was very selfish and I don't acknowledge the fact that I’m at fault too and fuck up in the relationship too, and always play victim so he wanted to break up because of that. I had nothing more to say by that point. So we broke up. Like I said regardless of the situation break ups suck. Its hard not having that person around anymore. It sucks because of all the beautiful memories we had together. Its tough cuz I needed him to be there for me as I’m going though a really hard time rn. And so life feels lonely. Life feels depressing when so many things just keep going wrong. Its hard and I know its only temporary but its hard. 

[ts-2020-olympics]

Episode 13 - “Put On My Villain Attire” - Sammy

This week was a lot, I made a mistake socially that hurt someone, and i couldnt be more disgusted or hurt with myself tonight. I feel awful for what i said about nicole, after tribal i cryed like a kid on call with sammy and Caeleb. Reaching out to nicole was hard because i dont want her to think im coming to say sorry as a game move. I respect nicole as a person, as a player, and I made a mistake, and it was time for me to own up to making a personal comment in context that should not have been personal. Now getting that out of the way, this week was crazy, the vote was Tommy, then Jacob, Then nicole, cut to tribal Nicole is excused from tribal, which im thankful for because i actually got to reach out to nicole after to say sorry for my comment.  Getting a response was the last thing I expected from her. And it made me happy to get one, especially such an understanding one that came from her realizing that was not my intentions. Game wise going forward, im aware theres cracks in this alliance and im not 100% safe. But im gonna ride it till i cant no more. I don't want to think game tonight but obviously i need to keep thinking about the game. Immunity wise, i dont think its necessity that I need to win, Even after I had a blow up and such i still feel like those in the game understand how hard it was for me tonight and my truth of how i didnt mean to hurt nicole. I still feel the most close to Sammy and Caeleb, they where there for me tonight after tribal while a cried, so was Kevin and Emma, idealy these people are the people I want there with me at the end of the game. In other news, Darcy has exposed himself as someone who has voted out sammy, meaning the list of people who need to go before I need to start backstabbing gets longer Stoner, Tommy, Nicole and Darcy are IDEALLY the next 4 boots, but u never know what will happen in this game! I could be working with Nicole next round for all I know. ANYWAYS TLDR: Im sorry, me and nicole are fine, im in a good place in this game. Thank u for coming to this LONG ASS confessional. 

im dying, so its been fun toodaloo 

Actually feeling very frustrated atm. I wanted this immunity so bad. The way Nicole plays this game is very frustrating and I’d love to see the way she actually plays the real game. Is she just gonna sit under the hut and ignore everyone that approaches her. She just lies about everyone and the minute someone does something against her she cries in her host chat. I’m usually not a mean person but she deserves to be the villain of this season. I literally have always looked up to Nicole as a player bc I have seen how genuine and kind she can be. But this game has really tossed out how i viewed her as a player. As a person sure she’s great but there’s a way to play this game by having good character. I would hate to see me leave before Nicole but if it happens and she makes it to the finals that’s okay but she won’t have my vote poor management. Anyways don’t wanna make my whole confessional about Nicole since she’s made the whole game revolve around her actions already. I’d like to personally shoutout Jordan caeleb and Eve in this confessional. Truly are the rays of sunshine in this game. I have my doubts about Kevin, Emma, and Darcy because I think that they have connections to Nicole. Someone is playing everyone and it’s so frustrating. I was so close to winning this immunity. I need to survive. Also I am very annoyed that caeleb has not had to stress a single round since merge. Yeah he’s my closest ally but like it’s annoying i want someone else like me to be immune and i know it’s selfish but it’s just annoying. I need to figure this out. I might have to put on my villain attire for this round. 

IMMUNITY? IMMUNITY? I HAVE THAT? Oh my god I think this may be like the first immunity I've actually one in the history of my Tumblr Survivor career (although checking the records there was one time I was just like individually immune for no reason during Seychelles premerge and I do not remember why) I needed this SO BAD, and even better is everyone is PISSED at me for winning, nobody can figure out where I figured out all the colors and it's SOOOOOOOOO FUNNY god bless, long live the underdog bayyyyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 

Okay, so here goes.   To start off my confessional for this round, that past tribal really was a mess.  Nicole played a tribal skip, so she survived, which was a good play on her part, but it led to some messy scrambles, and ended up losing probably my closest friend in this game (Love you Jacob <3,)  I ended up voting in minority with Jacob to keep my word, even though I knew majority was on Jacob.   In this game though, you got to take risks, and if the risk of keeping my word to my good friend outside this game ends up being my downfall, then so be it.   However, one isn't going to win by playing it safe every round and voting with majority all the time, you got to vote in minority at times too and try to at least make some bold moves, to get out the threats, otherwise, you might as well just give them the money, as those players would all make finals, and one of them would win.  Then where would the sheep be?   They would be at the jury, alongside those who they voted out.   Now, terms of this round, Nicole and I are trying to come together to split up the power trio of Eve, Caeleb and Sammy.   Plan is to try getting out Eve, as Eve has everyone basically wrapped around their finger, which I do not like, and I think Eve has the best chance of winning this game if they make it to the end, so yea Eve has to go.   I've also been hearing though, and sounds of things, Emma is wanting me out, and her reason I think is pretty well just because I haven't been voting with her.  It's like, I have only been to 3 tribals so far with Emma (4 if you count this one,)  and I voted with her the one tribal against Karen, then other tribal was just because I wanted to be loyal to my friend, and keep my word.   The first time though, was because I found the other person more threatening to my game.   Anyways, I am fighting my all right now to stay, and not going to back down, but if I end up going, so be it, I know I played a great game, and am glad with everything about it.   Pitching to people though that I'm not threatening at all, I literally have 0 moves on my resume at the moment, and how I just want to try beating 7th, because as of currently, 7th is my best placement.   Here goes nothing, and hopefully cards fall right, and Eve gets slain.

I’m kind of feeling hopeless after this round. Nobody actually wants to make the moves that need to be made, nobody wants to do anything actually smart. People are just being so short-sighted and playing for jury. Eve has an ego and will use it to make you believe that it’s her way or the highway. I feel like any cast with more than three braincells amongst them could really do something but, they won’t. Caeleb will win immunity yet again next round. I’ll go, then one by one they’ll go. I really just like, have no energy to guide these dummies to anywhere anymore. I’m tired. Even with immunity people are just ridiculously fake and annoying. 

I think Emma is the plan for tonight. She's playing a double agent type of game which is super dangerous and people are starting to see through it plus me and her don't have the best past so I'm fine with Emma going. It gets me to the Final 10 and gets me one step closer to the Final Tribal Council. I also think once Emma goes I'll be nobodies #1 target and that'll put me in a good position for next vote as long as Nicole doesn't win immunity again. Although who knows things switch around in this game so fast and it could be me going home because if Emma gets wind of her name being out there I see her coming for me just because of our past and I do think there is viable reason for people to flip their votes onto Me, if Emma campaigns for me to go. I'm hoping my name doesn't get dragged into the conversation and it just stays between Emma, Eve, and Darcy so I have no chance of going home tonight. I'm just gonna lay low after this bit of strategy talk but be around if the wind starts to shift onto me.

Fuck I’m not home and don’t want a stike this will be a quick confessional, Sammy I’m so fucking sorry about this but you have such a good social game and I need you gone to free up the field. Formed an alliance with Darcy today that was random but now I actually trust him which is wierd. Still fucking people over with Nicole it’s crazy how that’s working. Next round is final 10 o need to make it past it or I might cry, once I pass that hurdle I’ve never heard passed I’m good. 9th- 1st no bitter Jordan pines, don’t get me wrong though, 1st is still most preferred and it’s seeming achievable

Bye bye Sammy 

Ahh I have to turn my phone off and can't find confessional but my confessional is that I hate myself for voting Sammy 

I ate dinner, We're doing Sammy. Maybe these people have four brain cells instead of three. I however, still just have the one bumping around in my ear canal saying I might have a chance to win the game which is in fact, the stupidest thought I've had this whole round.

well well well....this round is a BIG OLE MESS, so i went into it last night thinking the vote was gonna be emma because she was leaking to nicole, but then i woke up and i guess the vote is on darcy, but Nicole tried to pull a vote on eve but because emma was involved and very loose lipped I would not have felt comfortable hiding that for almost 5 hours, so i told eve LOL.... but that built my trust up with eve and I thought it would make eve doubt emma even more but instead it seems to have made her want to keep her? which maybe means emma leaked the vote already?? which would be a good thing for me because then i didnt try to hide info that eve already knew, but so then that landed the vote primarily on darcy but honestly if darcy goes home this game is likely in the bag for eve, so I had to come up with something quick ! I have no idea if this is gonna go through but i put all my energy into selling this sarah vote like it was the end all be all move for us to make, when i dont think it is but if sarah can go home then the 5some that im viewing as Sammy/Caeleb/Eve/Jordan/Sarah would be down to 4 meaning theres wiggle room at the final 10 to potentially make a power move on a big player, without them being able to stay 5 solid and threaten rocks. They all seemed kinda hesitant but came around so im nervous, eve also asked for a back up plan which I said could be stoner, but the fact that she asked makes me nervous that shes gonna try to pull a fast one and be like "I think sarah has an idol we need to flip it !!!!!" which would be annoying but i wouldn't put it past eve. This also keeps all my potential numbers in those being nicole and then tommy/darcy emma and stoner, again IF this goes through, i could've lost darcy but then i just a 5v5 or if emma gets bold then a 6v4 and im powerless again. I think this was where i need to make a move and i hope it goes through but if it doesn't at least i tried !!!

I think tonight the night ladies, TONIGHT THE NIGHT I AM RELEASED, i mean if not sarah goes home and its whatever. I love love sarah and feel bad for blindsiding her like this. But I have confidence in Kevins decision here, hes trusted me, I have to trust him now.

#zestypowerfuluniqueflavorfulhealthy #confessionals

[smymiddlename]

70 horrible questions... Go on then

1. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? No but that's on me.

2. Who did you last say "I love you" to? My partner of nearly three years, when he got out of bed this morning.

3. Do you regret anything? I regret not meeting my teen-internet-soul-mate when I had the chance. I could really have done with the closure.

4. Are you insecure? Luckily, no. I'm pretty self assured. My pride stops me from acting too insecure with my relationships.

5. What is your relationship status? Living together.

6. How do you want to die? Suicide. Car crash.

7. What did you last eat? A bagel. It was my dinner actually, I'm trying not to eat very much atm.

8. Played any sports? No, can't say I have. Exercise has never been my thing.

9. Do you bite your nails? No thankfully, just the inside of my lips.

10. When was your last physical fight? I honestly don't think I've ever been in a real fight tbh. Chris and I have play-fought before but never seriously. Me, an intellectual, would always manage to escape that kind of situation. 😉

11. Do you like someone? I’m worried I do actually. Obviously I love my boyfriend but someone from the past has recently come on the scene and idk...

12. Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? No god never. The longest I’ve ever stayed up was after an all nighter spent on the PC with a friend then I went to Uni the next day without having gone to bed. I crashed about 3PM for a nap and slept til the evening!

13. Do you hate anyone at the moment? Not in the truest sense of the word, no.

14. Do you miss someone? Yes. I miss my hunk o’bread. Always. And if he’s reading this he needs to call me!

15. Have any pets? Yes, two cats and about 30 fish.

16. How exactly are you feeling at the moment? Yeesh. Hard to answer. It’s been a long weekend put it that way. I’m really looking forward to normality resuming.

17. Ever made out in the bathroom? Yes, in the shower , at houseparties, after cleaning my teeth, etc.

18. Are you scared of spiders? They make me jump and cringe yeah but since reading about all the different poisonous ones in Australia, they are actually a bit horrifying...

19. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? No i’d be far too afraid of altering the present.

20. Where was the last place you snogged someone? In the back of our campervan last night ;)

21. What are your plans for this weekend? Well it’s finished now! We’ve been away camping and visiting family. Tonight it’s time to binge Stranger Things S2 with some Birthday cake and a cup of tea before crashing in our beds.

22. Do you want to have kids? How many? Yes i’ve always wanted kids. Ideally I’d like three boys.

23. Do you have piercings? How many? Nope nothing exciting just my ears. I did have my tongue done but I let it heal over thankfully.

24. What is/are/were your best subject(s)? I’d say I was always good at creative writing. Now I’d again say content creation is the thing i’m really good at.

25. Do you miss anyone from your past? This is just the same question as number 14! Yes I do.

26: What are you craving right now? Cake, now I just mentioned it. And something a bit rude...

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Yes sadly, I have been really thoughtless in the past with people who cared about me.

28: Have you ever been cheated on? I say yes, he’d say no.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Countless times.

30: What’s irritating you right now? That Alexa only has one song by The Head and The Heart. Wth is up with that?!

31: Does somebody love you? Yes he does, very much.

32: What is your favourite color? Sunburnt orange.

33: Do you have trust issues? Not really. I’m wised up to shit so I don’t need to worry about trust. I’m usually well aware if someone is screwing me over.

34: Who/what was your last dream about? I dreamt last night that Chris had paid for Kings of Leon to come and perform in our garden but for the whole show he kept trying to have a really serious discussion with me so I had to keep tearing my eyes away from them and missing bits. I woke up rather frustrated but also incredibly amazed he’d paid them to play for us.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? Chris, at about 2pm today sat outside his dad’s house.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? I don’t really. I can hold a grudge for 100 years honestly.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? It’s easier to forget. I have a shocking memory.

38: Is this year the best year of your life? I would say last year was probably better, but next year might be even more. Who knows? I could never say what year had been the best because I've had such good times in all different years.

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? About 11.

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? Hell no.

51: Favourite food? Pizza and chips. Or bacon and avo-philly toastie.

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Yes I honestly do. Not even to do with God just the world being mysterious.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? We made smores and had a cuddle.

54: Is cheating ever okay? Only if the other person could never ever know, but that’s almost impossible - so no.

55: Are you mean? I’m selfish and that can often come across as mean, yeah.

56: How many people have you fist fought? Not 1.

57: Do you believe in true love? Yes and it’s painful.

58: Favourite weather? I love Autumn weather, always have. It’s my favourite time of year. I love the sunsets you get and the slight chill and the colours everywhere.

59: Do you like the snow? Yeah I still squeal and get excited when it snows.

60: Do you wanna get married? I do yes, but only if it’s exactly how I want it to be. My biggest fear is i’ll dislike my own wedding and never get to re-do it.

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? I didn’t used to think so, I thought it was very chavvy but my BFF calls me bb sometimes which makes me smile and my BF calls me baby when he’s being kinda cute, so... i’ve learnt to love it.

62: What makes you happy? A good song on a good road.

63: Would you change your name? Yes 100%.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? Nope, he’s upstairs right now. I could kiss him in 2 minutes if I needed to.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? That’s tricky because I don’t really have friends of the opposite sex for exactly that reason.

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? Not really. I’m working on it though.

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? My dutch guildie.

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Alana.

69: Do you believe in soulmates? I believe there’s more than one.

70: Is there anyone you would die for? Yes.