#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lueurjun · 1 year

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hufflepuff boyfriend heeseung

feeling really inspired these days idk why, hence why the frequent posts. i might do a written scenario on this too. also lmk if you want more hogwarts enhypen. this is also really long so i’m very sorry about that but i’m running on no sleep it’s 5 am and i’m tired so pls if it’s bad cut me some slack aasdhfkfkdl enjoy

idc what anyone says lee heeseung screams hufflepuff to me

maybe bc i’m a hufflepuff and i want that man in my house

let me have my moment

for the sake of this you guys are also in hufflepuff because this was an impulsive burst of motivation I DONT HAVE A LOT TO WORK WITH RIGHT NOW PLS LET ME LIVE

change it in your mind if you’d like

anyways we’re going for the you fell first, he fell harder trope

i mean who wouldn’t fall at the mere sight of him?

you began harbouring a little crush on him during third year

specifically during potions class when he took the fall for you against snape after you messed up the shrinking potion

he wasn’t even mad. he just gave you a small smile and told you ( gently) to be more careful

you never messed up ever again because if lee heeseung tells you to be careful YOU BE CAREFUL

anyways yes from then on you’re all heart eyes for him any interaction leaves you a bumbling mess

he once sat down next to you in the great hall and you damn near drowned yourself in pumpkin juice

he didn’t reciprocate your crush until fifth year

he’s a lil slow but hey! we got there in the end

his crush specifically started after he got sick and had to spend some time in the hospital wing and you went to great lengths to get past madam pomfrey JUST to give him your notes

you’re an adorable little magic try hard for him like who would go to great lengths like you? no one heeseung should put a ring on it rn

or else i will

jkjk

unless…

ANYWAYS

you’re very good at hiding your crush ( for the most part other than the fact that you freeze whenever he’s around ) but you’re not completely hopeless

heeseung, on the other hand, is absolutely hopeless

anytime you’re in the vicinity this boy becomes a blushing mess

literally heart eyes for you

you notice that he’s acting different and at first it scares you because suddenly he seems distant

and you start panicking

so you go to sunghoon

bad idea

“is heeseung mad at me?”

“yes. he hates you.”

“WHAT?!”

cue jake stepping in with a wild look of panic on his face

“HE DOESN’T HATE YOU!! SUNGHOON WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS IS OUR DEAR FRIENDS SOULMATE!!! WHY ARE YOU CAUSING TROUBLE?”

sunghoon just sips his pumpkin juice and goes: “funny”

it wasn’t funny you almost cried

little baby hogwarts student riki who follows them around found it hilarious tho

“HA GOOD ONE HYUNG”

jake is like a stressed out father

“riki nishimura eat your toast!”

and you’re just confused because you heard jake call you heeseung’s soulmate in a moment of stress

heeseung is blissfully unaware of the turmoil at the dinner table when he strolls into the great hall

though he goes paler than nearly headless nick when he sees you, his precious little soulmate, surrounded by the group of demon spawns he calls his friends

he manages to go even paler when you stand up and march towards him with a look of determination

and he’s taken by surprise when you yank his tie and drag him out of the great hall prompting many hoots and whistles from your friends

poor heeseung just wanted some breakfast

you pull him into a quiet corner and he’s absolutely petrified

“do you hate me?”

you surprise yourself with how blunt you are

it takes a moment for the question to register in heeseung’s mind and when it does…he starts?? laughing

like manically

him? hate you? that’s the funniest joke he’s ever been told

then he catches onto your ‘wtf’ look and realizes that you’re serious

mortified. sickened. DEVASTATED at the fact that you think he hates you

“no-no! oh my god! no no. i don’t hate you? HATE YOU? ME? Goodness no! I’m sorry I made you feel that way-it’s just…you make me nervous and you’re really good looking and i think-no i KNOW! I KNOW i’m in love with you. please don’t hate me”

honestly you aren’t sure what you was expecting but it definitely wasn’t that

you’re at a loss of words because holy shit

lee heeseung likes- no! no he said loves! he loves you

there’s no words that come out

instead you dry heave and heeseung nearly sobs at the fact that he made you almost throw up with his confession

and that makes him dry heave

so there you both are in the corridor continuously heaving

jake, sunghoon and riki are peeking around the corner watching the whole exchange

one looks perplexed, and the other two look absolutely delighted

“bet you five galleons heeseung throws up first”

“you’re on”

“you are not betting on our friends failure! and riki stop gambling you’re like six”

anyways back to the shit show which is confession land

both of you manage to keep down the contents inside your stomach much to the dismay of sunghoon and riki

“i wasn’t- i got nervous!” you try to explain

“it’s completely fine! i wasn’t meant to confess like that and i already knew you weren’t like-into me—“

sunghoon has had enough

bro pops out from around the corner

“they’ve liked you since before merlin was even cruising around! just date already and spare me of this torture!”

everyone say thank you to sunghoon because after his help, the two of you start dating

finally! this took longer than i anticipated-i got carried away very sorry! okay continue

THE RELATIONSHIP YAY EVERYONE APPLAUD

the professors definitely shipped it and had bets on you both

snape owed mcgonagall twenty galleons

even dumbledore was in on it

holding hands under the table is an absolute must

heeseung does this thing when he senses you getting a bit stressed out in class where he’ll rub his thumb over the back of your hand

finding you both curled up together in the common room is a regular occurrence

you’re both devastatingly awkward but in the cutest way

that’s also really painful to watch sometimes

cue your friend group watching you get all blushy and flustered after shamelessly flirting with each other

“someone break them up before i avada kedavra myself here and now”

dragging heeseung by the tie is a common occurrence

and he has a thing for walking behind you gripping the sides of your shirt or robes

you’re both terribly protective of each other

if anyone hurts heeseung’s feelings, oh boy! not even voldemort would be able to stop you

“did they just insult you, hee? i think they did. HEY YOU! SAY THAT TO HIM AGAIN AND WATCH HOW FAST I RIP EVERY HAIR OUT OF YOUR SCALP, YOU TOAD!”

and if anyone upsets you? oh boy.

he literally shaved someone’s eyebrows off for making you cry. man knows no consequence when it comes to protecting his partner

you both get really shy about pda

so that means whenever you want to share a peck, one of you will hold up a book to hide your faces

making out in the restricted section is a must

the two of you start sneaking off and it becomes noticeable to your friends

“where are they?”

“probably swallowing each others tongues”

when they finally investigate they find out that the two of you have been sneaking off to read muggle stories to each other in the abandoned bathroom

even moaning myrtle cringes at how in love the two of you are

the two of you are really happy

and everyone else is happy that you’re happy

“dibs on naming the future child!”

“sunghoon you are absolutely never naming our baby”

“why not? sunghoon jr lee has a nice ring to it”

you manage to compromise and agree to let sunghoon be the best man at your wedding

he did get the two of you together

perhaps the two of you should repay the favour and find him a match?

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bonny-kookoo · 1 year

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i know when detective yoongi goes into heat mc's not going to be safe. 🫣🥵👀

Hmmm... 🤔

---

When you wake up, you immediately sense somethings.. off about the detective.

He's barefoot, dressed comfortably rather than in his usual attire, hair a bit unkempt as he makes himself coffee at his small kitchenette. He's got his back turned towards you, and on his backside, there's a bump where you'd assume his tail might be hidden. It moves every now and then, so you're pretty sure that's what it is, underneath his sweater and cotton sweatpants.

"You're up." He comments as he looks over his shoulder a little, and your suspicions are confirmed with the way he seems a bit.. wary of you. "Dont worry. I've got good self-control." He simply says, noticing the way you seem to tense up for a moment, before he turns around. "Do you want breakfast? I can heat up my leftovers if you want them." The detective casually says, and you just hum an affirmative response.

He's clearly in his hybrid heat. So why does he seem so.. calm?

You can't help but have your interest peaked. He outright told you time and time again that basically, he could see himself get involved with you, so he must find you attractive in some way, no matter which one. So why is he so unaffected by you, neither when you're in heat, nor when he is?

And right now, you both are. Any other hybrid would be absolutely in no way capable of being this calm and collected about it.

Maybe he's just not as affected considering his situation. He didn't tell you what exactly his genetic mutation changed or altered specifically, apart from the things you can see, so there's really no telling. "You can ask, you now." He chuckles faintly, bringing a bowl of re-heated fried rice to the table, making you get up to walk closer.

You're still naturally wary of sitting down, so close to him at least. After all, he's sitting right next to you at the small kitchen table, around the corner.

"Are you.. like, not actually feeling anything?" You mumble, picking up your spoon to eat- never letting him out of sight. It's cute, in his opinion. And it also makes him rest easy to know that you're not easy prey to anyone once you both have to inevitably part ways again after everything's done.

"Oh, I am." He shakes his head, leaning back on his chair with crossed arms. He does this a lot around you. Like he's trying to shield himself from you, even though you're not doing anything. "Just.. not controlled by it."

"Huh.." you hum, eating your food. "So like-" you shove a big spoonful of food into your mouth, halfway chewing it. "-how short is your tail?" You ask him muffled, and he clicks his tongue before reaching out to flick a grain of stray rice from your lip.

"Dont eat and talk at the same time, brat." He mutters under his breath, getting up to fetch you a tissue as you sniker to yourself. You don't know why he's so amusing to you- this constant back and forth and contradicting caring behavior of him is just both hilarious and horribly endearing to you. He never acts like he doesn't care- he makes it clear at this point that he does, but something about the way he offers his kindness is just entertaining to witness.

Like he can't make up his mind if you're the biggest nuisance in his life, or the brightest addition to it.

"Answer my question-" You demand now after having swallowed, though you instantly lean back in your chair when he gets close, both arms on the backrest of it caging you in, face so close you can make out all the different specs of color in his brown cateyes.

"Since when do you call the shots in my own home, sweetheart?" He asks, and you swallow thickly- but not out of fear. Because maybe he's not that much up in his heat yet, but you very much still are- and just one more second and he's gonna know that you're very much affected by an action like this, mentally and physically. "Hm, thought so." He smirks, before finally leaving your personal bubble to wash his dishes a bit further away. Thankfully, his senses aren't probably that great.

"Oh, you might wanna go change in the bathroom." He calls out when he notices you're going to nap again after leaving your dishes for him to wash since he's busyung himself with his own right now.

"Huh? Why?" You ask a little annoyed. "I slept in this? It's no 'dirty daytime clothes', Mister Clean-freak-detective.." you mock, and he doesn't turn away from the sink as he shakes his head.

"Oh I know-" he tells you, turning off the water to dry his hands. "-and I know I said I'm not controlled by my hormones right now-" He continues, and your blood runs cold as he nonchalantly puts away the dishes he's dried. You can't see his face, but from the way he talks, you just know he's got a shit eating grin on his face.

"-But you must have a lot of faith in me, thinking I won't act out with that scent all over my bed you're sleeping in."

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #yoongi imagine #hybrid imagine #yoongi imagines #min yoongi imagines #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi imagine

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messenger-of-stupidity · 1 year

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Soup is for nerds

WOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE DONE ONE OF THESE!!

Welcome back to the Shaw Pack Mates Super top secret and totally unknown by anyone outside of the group groupchat. (Name trademarked by Angel.)

Whether these are real conversations I’ve overheard/seen/partaken in or not is entirely unknown and shall stay that way.

CW: Crack, Angel needs to learn what boundaries are but not in a toxic way, Sam is asking for a god to save him he’s not picky on which god he’ll even rely on science it doesn’t even need to be religious, Sweetheart please for the love of the universe put the cat down, Baabe why are you just sitting there laughing?

Actual CW: Crack, mentions to others being sneaky link/hoes/sluts but in a friendly platonic way, GN listeners. Any reference to gendered terms is purely for the memes and not to be taken seriously.

<-- Previous _______ Next -->

Redacted Masterlist

Angel: im so disappointed in u all

Sam: Oh dear. What’s upset you now?

Angel: is that lip im hearing

Baabe: if my boss finds out im on my phone right now im so dead. so whats wrong bb?

Sweetheart: Tracking down a covert breaker. Cant talk rn.

Sam: Now I’m actually concerned. Is this genuine, or is Angel being Angel again?

Angel: not one of u said ‘congrats on ur nuptials’

Sam: I wasn’t aware anyone called marriage nuptials anymore, but also if I’m not mistaken you two have yet to have your wedding since you both are still planning it?

Baabe: CONGRATS ON YOUR NUPTIALS YOU SILLY GOOSE

Angel: this is why im marrying with baabe

Baabe: LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

Angel: ooooooo teeaaaaa

Sweetheart: That’s what he said.

Sam: I think one day I will gather the strength to leave this groupchat.

Angel: oh ill just add u back and then kidnap u to drag u to my basement so u cant ever try to leave me again

Sam: Angel what the fuck.

Angel: HE DIDNT USE A COMMA IM THE REAL WINNER HERE

Baabe: to defeat the huns~

Angel: im so upset rn its not even funny like i cant live laugh love under these conditions

Baabe: aweeee what’s wrong bby?

Sam: Is there something I could do to help? I will if I can.

Angel: hang on i gotta wait for sweetheart to respond so i can get all the attention necessary

Sweetheart: Sorry I was just filming a tiktok with Aggro. Whats up

Angel: perfect all my three hoes are here

Sam: I resent being called that, but I also recognize my powerlessness in getting you to change it, so continue.

Angel: do yall even have any clue how expensive it is to buy a mcdonalds bouncy house

Sweetheart: Why are you trying to buy a bouncy house

Baabe: ngl i’m kinda curious about that too

Angel: well i could just buy it because ur bitch is rich rich but i share a joint account with my mega alpha gigachad of a finance so i cant buy it without him noticing but i wanna keep it a surprise so theres just a bouncy house in our backyard when he comes home

Sam: Don’t you mean your ‘fiance’?

Angel: no i mean finance im just with davey for his money but my real loves is my three hoes in this gc

Sweetheart: Youre so romantic Angel

Baabe: ikr? like just marry me already

Angel: anyways this is my way of asking u to buy me a bouncy house who wants the privilege

Angel: DONT JUST LEAVE ME ON READ YOU SLUTS

Angel: SOS

Baabe: whats wrong sneaky link?

Sam: Once again, I am confused whether or not this is a serious thing or Angel is playing up the dramatics again.

Sweetheart: I can send you a picture of my son if that will help

Angel: yes pls i miss my baby boy Angel: and also were out of sugary cereal and davey is making me eat his yucky worm food

Sweetheart: WHY DID YOU WRITE SOS? THIS IS A 911 EMERGENCY!

Baabe: dw bb i got u. just ask him why hes giving you his dog food.

Angel: oooo good idea hell take it away then and tell me to just starve and give me the chance to naruto run to sams house for breaky

Sam: Now hold on just a minute. I don’t recommend doing that Angel, also I don’t need to eat food and Darlin isn’t here for me to have any reason to make breakfast. I think you’ll survive a morning without your cereal.

Angel: YALL HE THREW A PLASTIC SPOON AT ME HALP

Baabe: MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Sweetheart: rip

Angel: You’re next. - David

Baabe: oh fuck

Sweetheart: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Sam: rip

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted shaw pack #redacted mates group chat #redacted mates #redacted david #redacted angel #redacted baabe #redacted asher #redacted milo #redacted sweetheart #redacted sam #redacted darlin #redacted darling #redacted shaw pack mates

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cupoftaae · 1 year

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Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ we always end up like this (chapter 8)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 5k !!

Chapter warnings- swearing, mentions of fights, emotional abuse, manipulation, relationship drama, confused feelings, mentions of depression, kind of a sad chapter, lots of deep emotions. oh and also smut. (guys you arent ready) - also excuse any spelling errors.

enjoy :)

You didnt end up falling asleep until around 4am that night, Taehyung stayed up with you the entire time, making sure you were okay.

"its okay, lets just stay in bed" he hushed when you protested something about getting up and ready for the day.

"I want to shower" you sat up and looked over at him, dark circles under his eys, he looked....rough.

"then shower" he finally sat up as well, his face turning to you when his eyes shot wide. "oh"

Tilting your head, you looked back at him, "what?"

"you have a bruise" he gestured to his own jaw while looking at yours. your hand flew to cup your cheek, hiding it. "yeah I figured I would probably have a mark. Good thing for makeup, right?" you joke and pull the covers back, feet meeting the cold floor.

"you know we still have to talk about everything, right?"

You tensed up and turned on the ball of your heel to face him. "yeah....just give me a few, okay?"

he nodded, taking a breath as you scurried into the bathroom, door shutting loudly.

He wasn't mad at you, he was upset in the same sense you were upset at him for hitting kaito. However, when something bothers Taehyung, it bothers him deeply and fully. It was something you observed from a young age, the complete mental shutdown whenever something didn't go right for him, or there was a situation that made him upset in anyway. You cant remember the last time he has been like this.

After your shower, the aroma of bacon infiltrated your nose, leading your footsteps out to the kitchen. "what are you doing?" you asked quietly, wet hair dripping onto the tile below you.

"Im making breakfast?" he made an obvious gesture to the stove and fridge, making you roll your eyes. His attention was on the lavender camisole you changed into, as well as the fact you had used your makeup to hide last nights evidence.

"why do you have a tone with me" you leaned against the counter and crossed your arms. "I dont" he shrugged

"youre being snippy"

he laughed and turned back to the food, throwing some onto a plate with fruit and shoving it your way.

you took the plate and met his eyes with your own. "thanks. why are you moody?" you quickly pressured once again

"are you serious?" he whipped around to you

"what?"

"have you completely forgotten what has happened in the past 24 hours? or do you want me to catch you up?" he scoffed

"im fully aware" you glared at the boy

"then why are you acting like I dont have a reason to be upset?"

"you dont-" you paused, setting down the plate of food and looking at it. You allowed yourself to take a breath before looking out the window. The shitty weather captivated the shitty aura of the kitchen. "lets just eat breakfast then talk"

he looked at you before slowly turning back to his food, you returning to your room and shutting the door.

Now you were alone with your own thoughts to gather before having to face the situation. It wasnt that you were afraid to talk to taehyung. It would never be that, no. It was you were afraid to be honest with yourself.

You so desperately wanted to just bathe in what felt like love, what felt like a chance at a happy easy-going relationship. You wanted it so, so badly.

So badly- that you told everyone things were good when they werent. You knew this ship would sink soon enough, but not like this, not like that. You thought the bliss would at least last a little longer. Now you sat like an open exposed wound for everyone to examine and tell you how to fix it, when you already knew the problem wasn't fixable.

stitches couldn't hold together what you felt.

Once you both silently took your collective times apart in seperate rooms, you agreed to sit in the living room. The rain pattering onto the glass quietly as his record player was faintly heard in the other bedroom created a semi-comfy environment to be in.

"So..." Taehyung sat on the floor, in front of the tiny table, watching you cross your legs to sit on the opposite side of him, body scrunched up defensively.

You chewed your lip and looked at your hands, avoiding contact with the boy in front of you. "I'm sorry, for everything" you quickly decide on ripping the bandaid off as soon as possible, his eyes flicker to yours.

"I lied about so much and, its not fair to you. Youve been my best friend for so long and I dont like keeping secrets, theres been a strain between us for quite a bit now, and I dont know what to do"

He nodded as you spoke calmly, part of him elated and relieved that he didn't have to pry you open to the conversation.

"Kaito was an asshole, he is an asshole. I don't even know what it was that I saw in him."

"I would assume...that it wasnt the first time he had done something like this, put his hands on you, that it?" tae added in

You sighed and finally looked up to him, shrugging helplessly. There it was, your heart on the table in front of you both, you mine as well be honest because theres no going back anymore.

"theres been a few times. not to that extent but yeah"

He exhaled and ran his hand over his face, "why didnt you tell someone?"

"I couldnt" your voice was shaky now, eyes trailing to your wrist that still had marks on it from just a few weeks ago. It was embarrassing.

"what do you mean you couldnt? you just sat and fucking suffered?" his voice was a bit louder, hands now gripping his arms as they crossed over his chest.

"Its not that easy, taehyung! fuck, I, I just couldnt come out and tell everyone that I was going through that, and then be questioned why I stayed, and then further have to fucking explain that im incapable of feeling loved without someone loving me romantically." you wipe a tear, slight anger and frustration evident. "that shit is fucking humiliating" you shook your head.

He swallowed harshly and looked at you, scrambling of something to say.

"you dont get how hard it is to be in college, and having all your friends hookup and shit....I dont want that, I never wanted that. I cant, I attach myself too easily and-"

"that wasnt love, y/n"

"what?"

"you said you needed someone to love you romantically in order to feel genuinely loved? That man never loved you" he spat, knowing it sounded harsh but hoping his point came across in the directed manor. It was obvious; any person who could hurt their so called significant other with no regret is not someone worth the label of loving. You knew that.

"i was lying to myself"

"and everyone around you, too" he sighed, folding his arms out in front of himself.

"im sorry" you breathe, watching as he looked around softly.

"I wish you hadnt kept it a secret for so long, y/n, I know that you wanted everyone to see this fake image of what you wanted to be perceived as, but you know...its okay for things to not go as we plan, right?"

you shrug

"we are young, and frankly, we are stupid. Do I think I should have hit Kaito last night? no, it was wrong of me. Do I think he deserved it? yes, but thats not the point, the point is that sometimes you have to forgive yourself and accept yourself."

"what do you mean?"

"you have to learn to accept yourself for how you are, stop trying to create some fake fucking image for the rest of the world. who cares? You have so much going for you, who gives a shit if you dont have a perfect relationship? there are many people we know who are probably doing much worse" he chuckled lightly, making you nod.

"just be easier on yourself, I would never judge you. Faking shit is not worth getting hurt over." he added on, emotion and sadness now showing through his voice.

You nod once more, eyes filling up again, "okay"

He stood to his feet and walked over to sit beside you, using the opportunity to pull you into his warm embrace, sighing contently when you returned the hug.

"you have to just...let some things go." he whispered, "nothing has to be perfect" his hand gently rubbed your back. "sometimes what we want isn't what we get"

you sniffled and hid your face in his neck, pulling back to look into his eyes. "and what is it that you want?"

He smiled softly as he examined your face, so much thought in your head as your hands fidgeted. you

"you to be happy" he emphasized, squeezing your palm

"I want you to be happy too, taehyung. I should have never dragged you into this shit."

"Im happy when you are, and hey, we cant change whats happened. we need to just...move forward and hope for the best"

You quickly hugged him again, face tight against his chest as his head rested atop yours.

"Do you ever miss Gwangju?" you asked

Tae smiled and got lost in thought for a minute, "yeah...yeah I do" he whispered.

"we should have never moved here, Busan is nothing but trouble" you giggle softly, a sound that lifts weight off of taehyungs chest.

"we had good times there, huh?"

"I miss it so much, I miss everything about it."

"like what?" he asked gently, hand playing with your hair.

"Just how we would always be at eachothers houses, eating home made meals and biking through the streets. Just living normally, just being kids" you sigh, leaning into him

"we still can do all those things now, here, at the apartment" he spoke up quietly. You two are used to spending time close together, but schedules have been clashing, creating a difficult distance between you both.

"we cant" you chuckle breathily, pulling away and wiping your nose with a tissue.

"why not?" he pouted, a slight, hopeful smile on his lips.

You gave him a knowing glare, pressing your back against the couch as your hands fell into your lap. "well....isnt it obvious?"

"No, guess not" he tilted his head, genuinely confused.

"I think....over the summer..." you trailed off, eyes lost in some random object across the room as the boy next to you tried to catch on. "I think we made some mistakes"

"oh" he looked down, immediately understanding what was coming.

"and we never have spoke about it, and I think we should" you turn your body to him.

"I dont think thats necessary" he shook his head, bouncing his knee.

"you told me to be honest with you"

"I told you to be honest with yourself" he clarified, scoffing slighting.

He never wanted to fully confront the whole issue you both fell into almost a year ago, it was something that just happened. You both agreed to sleep together for a little while, it was mutual, nothing more nothing less. He had a hard enough time getting over his feelings and hopes he had for you, and he isnt ready to have this conversation. Not here, and not now.

"what if this is being honest with myself?" you spoke calmly, making his head lift up to you.

"what are you talking about?"

You looked at him and back down at your hands, "I dont know why we did all that, I dont know why we agreed to sleep together. Youve always been my best friend and I worry if I maybe ruined something-"

"no, no, you didnt." he stopped you quickly, "we both decided to do it, it was very much mutual. please dont think like that"

"but everything has been so off between us since then...." you pick at the fabric of the carpet.

"Yeah, I agree, but I dont think it has anything to do with that stuff"

"I do"

He looked at you and chewed on the inside of his cheek, feeling cornered.

"It wasnt like what we did was exactly bad, we had fun, we made rules, set boundaries, we jus- I mean, do you regret it that much?" he murmured quickly.

you stared at him for a moment, watching his chest rise with anticipation for your next words.

"I dont regret it at all...thats the problem" you quietly admit

Taehyung looks up, unsure if he heard you right. "im-im sorry?"

You shake your head, "I don't regret any of it, tae. I feel like we approached it, all of it, wrongly. I messed up a lot of things for myself, I cant seem to look at you the same anymore." you add.

Taehyungs heart was in his stomach, he pinched his thumb to make sure he wasnt having some dream. "so, you mean that..you dont regret doing what we did?"

"do you?" you counter.

"absolutely not" he exhaled.

you both looked at eachother quietly for what felt like forever.

"I feel like ive already embarrassed myself enough today but i'll just add to it I suppose" you start, taking his hand and looking at it. "when I say I miss the old us, it means I miss the time before I pretty much set myself up to fail....I guess I developed some feelings for you, which is entirely cliche, i know, but Ive been programming myself to get over it because I know that you and I wouldnt work" you admit

His eyes widen quickly, not sure what to do other than laugh, which makes you confused.

"what?" you semi-smile as he stands and catches his breath

"y/n...oh y/n" he kneels down to you, "if only you knew" he sighed

"knew what?" you panicked

"Ive felt the same way about you for the past few months and its been fucking eating me alive!!!" he openly speaks, making your eyebrows rise.

"you have no clue how hard its been to see you with Kaito, wishing it was me. you have no clue what its been like to live with you and see you look like that every day, its painful!" he laughs, feeling free in finally admitting what has been eating him alive for so long.

You find yourself breaking out into a smile, small giggles as your stomach flipped at his words. You wouldnt have pictured this happening, but here you were.

"I dont care if I look like a fool right now, you just.... you just made everything so much easier" he took a breath, smiling like crazy

"did I?" you smile widely, feeling elated that the outcome to this wasnt an embarrassing one.

"how could you ever think we wouldnt work?" he asked, holding your hands as he spoke more quietly now

you shrug, "I just didnt think you saw me that way"

"ah...." he sighed, "we should have known, we arent hookup people." he joked, making you laugh as you started at each other.

"I didnt think it was gonna be this simple...." you giggle, squeezing his hand, still shocked at how easy the coming clean was.

"we are fucking idiots" he smiles before pulling you closer

"yeah, we are" you whisper before pushing your lips to his suddenly, pulling back to see his reaction.

He blushed, pulling you back down to him and returning the kiss once more. It wasnt rushed, it was sweet, slow and meaningful.

Once you pulled back to catch your breath, you cupped his face lovingly, feeling like right now, there is nothing more you could possibly do to make yourself happier. "you know we will still have to further discuss this whole thing, yeah?" you whisper, thumb grazing his cheek.

"I know, I know." his hand falls on top of yours, "I want you to know that I care about you and Im serious about this, but I also dont want to rush things..."

"same here" you add

"but as of right now...I really wanna kiss you again." he spoke, making you laugh as the blood rushed up to your face. "do it all you want" you breathe out, returning his lips to yours as you moved yourselves up onto the couch, your legs coming around to straddle him.

He nearly choked, pulling away to wrap his hands on your waist. "maybe we should move to a more comfy spot?" he chuckled

you looked around before realizing you were about to bang it out with your friend on the living room couch. "yeah, okay, bedroom?" you stood, grabbing his hand as you both ran into the hall, escaping into your room like 2 horny teenagers in love.

It was ironic, actually. The first few times you two had sex, it felt mature, it felt like there was more to it, but it wasn't genuine. After today, things felt like they didn't need to be as put together, it was okay to just be....

The bed dipped as you crawled onto it, turning over to lay on your back as you watching Taehyung join you, his figure hanging over yours. "whats so funny?" you smile, hands climbing up his arms, wrapping around his neck as you pulled him closer.

"nothing" he chuckled, lips moving from your jaw to your neck, making you gasp quietly. "just...think its funny how we always end up back here"

Your hand was tangled in his hair, "mhm...like I said, we are idiots" you smile, closing your eyes blissfully as his tongue swipes down to your clavicle. "dont tease, I think we both have waited long enough"

"okay, okay" he winked at you jokingly before gently moving his hands to your tank top, lifting it carefully. You sat up slightly, wrapping an arm around to unclip your bra and toss it to the side.

There was no shyness with him when it came to being naked, it was the feeling of comfort, like you know he would never judge you or your body, and he never did.

"mmm" he hummed against your neck, lips kissing down to your breasts as his tongue slid across your nipple. "ah-" your head gently fell against the pillows behind you, biting your lip to try to contain any noises that attempted to escape.

"youre okay with this, yeah?" he looked up a bit to catch your expression, making sure you were alright.

"yes, im okay with it" you smiled and watched as the boy carefully returned to pressing his lips against your chest, gently sucking the skin on the side of your breast so he would leave a mark.

The arousal between your legs was hidden under your shorts, thighs rubbing together beneath him as you tried your best to just let go and not be so tense.

"can we take these off?" he looked back at you, fingers lightly holding onto the hem of your shorts.

"I personally find it unfair that Im naked and you still have all of this on" you gestured to his hoodie and sweatpants, making him laugh. Usually when you two were in this position, there was very little talking, and very little time spent on taking clothes off. Taehyung wanted it to be different right now though, he wanted to take all the time in the world, there was no rush here.

You sat up and pulled down your shorts, kicking them off from around your feet before directly moving to take off Taehyungs hoodie, placing it somewhere off the bed. His lips attached to yours, pushing you back into the bed. Something about kissing Taehyung was just different, you couldnt put a reason as to why, exactly, it just was. The comfort that was felt, the way he was messy but also passionate as his tongue danced against yours.

His long fingers delicately ran across your chest, making its way ever so lightly down your stomach, and to your thigh, causing you to shiver a bit. "Youre so beautiful" he whispered, teeth grazing your ear lobe as his words spilled into your system.

He would beat himself up if he ruined this, if he hurt you, if he made you feel like you were anything less than what you had become; treating you as if your skin was nothing more than the thinnest glass. He didnt want to just compliment you, he wanted you to feel how much he has yearned for this, for you to understand his regret in not being 'a man' and openly expressing his feelings within the first go around. For someone who knew your body almost as well as his own, he was so worried about breaking it.

His index finger hooked into the hem of your underwear, beginning to lightly pull them down your legs. The exposure felt familiar, it wasn't nerve wracking for you. The man above you was one you trusted with your body more than anyone.

"taehyung" you breathed out, slightly parting both of your thighs apart, the feeling of his breathing against your skin as he slowly kissed down to your navel, stopping right before your center.

He took one last look up at you, perhaps it was a moment of pride, or an ego boost over, but seeing how red your face had become even in the dimly lit room gave him a sense of accomplishment- and he wasn't even rightfully touching you yet.

Once his tongue pressed flatly against your core, your hand shakily flew to grab onto his hair. If you hadnt been so aroused in the bliss, you would have opened your eyes and looked down at the boy sitting between your thighs. You woke up this morning with a sore jaw, headache, and a bone to pick, now here you were getting eaten out in your bedroom with the boy who put you in this position in the first place.

"mmmh" you used your other hand to press over your lips, knowing that if you were too loud, your neighbors might have a few words to share with you. His tongue continued to poke at your clit slowly, a little too slowly. His arm came up to press down one of your thighs, keeping your entrance open for his access.

"youre soaked, holy shit" he laughed softly, moving back and wiping your wetness off of his jaw as he began to use two of his fingers to trace along your vagina. "baby, please" you whispered, hand trailing down to find his hand, locking it into your own.

You gasped at the sudden intrusion of his long fingers, pushing deep into your cunt and retracting slowly, only to repeat over and over again. You couldnt tell if you were blushing at just the simple action, or the lewd sounds filling the room, either way you were left breathless and squirming under his touch.

"this okay?" he smiled, still feeling his chest tighten at the given fact you called him 'baby'.

"yea- oh my god..." you arch your back slightly when he presses his tongue back to your neglected clit, kitty licking it just barley.

"ride my fingers, cmon baby" he egged you on, unable to help the smirk stuck on his face as he searched around for that one spot.

You had to admit, you were surprised at Taehyungs dialogue- he was never one to speak during sex in general, despite the occasional pet name. It shocked you, but at the same time only turned you on more.

Your hips rocked gently against his hand as he added a 3rd finger, making you whine loudly. "I feel so full, fu-fuck" you clenched around his digits, catching his smug face as he watched you fall apart.

The ends of his fingers curled perfectly, making you moan aloud, hand slapping over your mouth once more as you tried to shut your thighs. He seemed proud of himself for being able to find your g-spot, recognizing your behaviors and hardening his actions even more.

"Taehyung, please," you plead, rocking your hips as a faint layer of sweat builds up on the creases of your legs. "cmon baby, cum for me, its okay just let go" he spoke so gently, in such a tone that didnt match the situation playing out in front of him.

His fingers continued to prod at your sweet spot before he returned his tongue to your bundle of nerves, watching your chest rise and fall frantically. "im right here" he whispered- and that was just what you needed to come apart.

"ohhh" you clenched around him once more, arching your back as your vision went white, you could have sworn you went blind for a moment. "you okay?" he asked, pulling his fingers out and crawling back up to you, kissing your forehead. Your eyes flutter open to see him, complete admiration in your face as you take him in. "yeah...yeah im okay...that was-"

"good?" he giggled shyly, his behavior completely switching from what it once was just a mere few seconds ago.

"yeah.." you sighed, smiling. You felt like you were on cloud 9, but you still wanted more. You, somewhere deep down, feared this was a dream, and he would leave if you stopped.

Your hands ran down the front of his chest and down his stomach, biting your lip as you looked back at him, noses touching a bit as he leaned to kiss you once more.

It started as slow kisses, but the eagerness you had for eachother quickly took over. Your hands led to the hem of his sweatpants as you untied them, his mouth attacking your neck roughly, panting.

"baby-" you whimpered, trying to push him back so you could take off his pants easier. He smiled at you and leaned back, untying them himself as he moved and slid them off along with his boxers.

You watched as his erection sprung out, eyes immediately drawn to the red tip leaking with pre-cum. You had to admit, you almost moaned just looking at it.

He caught your gaze as his hand began to stroke himself a few times, moving back above you. He blushed and tried to return to hiding his face as he kissed your jaw. "dont be shy now, its too late to be hiding" you teased, hands wrapping around him and gently grazing his back, pulling him down.

"you want this?" he asked once more, eyes looking into yours.

"I do, do you?"

"of course" he nodded, kissing you once more before bringing his dick to your center, sliding his tip up and down your folds slowly, making you lift your hips up in search of more friction.

You hid your face against his shoulder as he pressed himself into you, eyes checking and making sure you were okay while doing so. Once he bottomed out, he moved both of his forearms on either side of you, face against yours as he pressed his lips all over your face, peppering you in kisses. "are you okay, angel?"

You squeezed your eyes together until he was all the way in, it obviously wasn't your first time, but it definitely had been a long enough period of time since the last time you have had sex, so the feeling was a bit abnormal. You exhaled and opened your eyes faintly, "yeah im okay" you pressed your lips to his, feeling more comfortable as he made sure you felt okay enough before moving. "you can move now" you pushed his hair out of his face and cupped his cheeks, looking into his eyes as he began to move his hips, slowly pulling out only to push back in.

The first few strokes were not that pleasurable, so you wiggled your butt to allow him to access deeper into you, shifting the placement. He groaned quietly as he pushed back in, hands now gripping your hips.

"ahh, fuck" you whispered, pushing your head back into the pillow as you began to feel more pleasure between your legs, his dick reaching spots his or your fingers never could. "feel good?" he asked, fighting back his own moan as you clenched around him so deliciously, he had to go slow or he would cum right there and then.

"so fucking good" you grazed your hand down the side of his face as you whined, your arousal speaking for you as the wet sound became more audible the faster he pumped into you. "missed this, missed you" you admit, eyes squeezing shut once more

"missed you so fucking much" he groaned, crashing his lips against yours as he lifted himself carefully. "More please" you whisper shyly, feeling a tightness in your stomach that yearned to be released.

He sat back and gently gripped your thighs, spreading them further apart s you were exposed entirely. He took in your fucked out state before beginning to thrust into you once more, this time with a quickened pace.

He mumbled your name as he threw his head back, skin slapping against yours as your moans filled the room. "yes, yes" you encouraged him, bucking your hips up to meet him in between each time he pushed further into you.

He urged you to lift your hips as he put a pillow under your lower back, something he always did to ensure he reached your g-spot.

You gasped and clutched the blanket, whimpering as he continued to thrust into you. "right there!"

The headboard of your bed was clashing against the wall, creating a loud sound. You tried to reach over to hold it but couldnt, "tae, the neighbors, fuck, its too lou- oh!" you could barley finish a sentance, his dick fucking you just right as you felt yourself becoming dumb at his actions.

"I dont care, let them hear" he spoke forcefully, hands squeezing into your thighs as he held them up. "let them know how good you feel"

You clenched upon hearing his words, for someone who never did dirty talk, he sure fucking knew what to say.

You whined and gripped your chest as he pulled out, once again gliding his tip down your folds and to your clit. "so fucking perfect for me, baby" he whispered, pushing back in and making you moan louder at his sudden action.

"tell me-" Taehyung began, setting a pace as he thrusted into you, "did her ever touch you like this? did he ever make you feel this good?" he groaned, eyes trailing down your sweaty body squirming beneath him.

Your face grew red as you shook your head frantically, "no- no he didnt" you admit, whimpering as you began to feel a build up.

"good" he leaned forward, his dick angling just right as he got close to your face, "dont ever let anyone touch you like this" he warned, his possessiveness something entirely new to you.

"mhm, n-never" you manage to spit, nails digging into his shoulders and back. "baby im so close" you cried, sneaking a hand down to between your bodies, fingers rubbing at your clit as his mouth reached down to your breast, tongue prodding at your hardened nipple.

"me too" he breathed out, lifting your thigh higher as he fucked into you more, "fuck im gonna cum, where do you want it?" he exhaled

Your hands gripped him harder, barley managing to speak, "i-inside" you whimper, feeling your orgasm suddenly wash over you the same time his did. Your mouth fell open softly as you arched into the bed. You werent sure how loud you both were, but you knew that it was probably one of the best orgasms of your life.

"so good for me, y/n, always so fucking good" he gently pulled out, watching his semen spill out of you and onto the bedsheets. You pulled him back up to lay on top of you, the room silent, filled with heavy breathing. your hands delicately played with his hair, eyes shutting as his head rested on your chest.

You both werent sure how exactly this happened, or if it even should have happened, but it was something to worry about later. All of these months, harboring feelings and keeping secrets- it didnt mean anything anymore. You felt safe, comforted here with taehyung, and as you both silently spoke and praised eachother before drifting off to sleep, you hope he did too.

a/n- WELL THEN.

taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee

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blond-b · 10 months

Text

TW: €D

My new rules for myself

Try not to eat high cal foods unless it’s in front of someone else (you need to keep others thinking that you DO eat normal, but you don’t have to eat more than it takes to convince others)

No more than ONE sweet a day (you are a fat ass, and you will binge a whole tray of brownies if your not careful. Never eat more than ONE)

No excuses about exercising (aw, your a little sore? Get over it. Do at least 5 miles, unless your in extreme pain, or physically can not exercise, there is no excuse.)

Do more than cardio. (You KNOW that muscle burns more calories than fat, you also know that your tummy looks frumpy even if your skinny… unless you tone it up. Don’t be lazy, you have no excuses. Do your workouts)

Always be moving (sitting down? Wiggle your toes or bounce your feet. Laying in bed? Do leg raises, or side leg raises, and move your arms some. Standing in line? Shift weight from one leg to another. Even small movements burn more cal than if you weren’t doing them.)

Only binge on foods that don’t matter (your high and wanna binge? Okay, eat watermelon, have an ice pop, have some broccoli, or strawberries. NO JUNK, save your junk food for your sober mind to decide on)

Stay active on rest days (you get one day a week to not exercise, that however does NOT mean be lazy. Instead, clean your room, play with your dog, go swimming, clean the kitchen, do anything to get some passive movements in. Your resting your exercises muscles today, NOT your whole body.)

No lying to yourself. (You binged? You went over on cals? Ate too much of a cal dense food? LOG IT. Telling yourself “I know I messed up, I don’t need to log it to know it” has to stop. You need to be honest with your future self, she’ll ask “why didn’t I lose any weight this week??” And she deserves to look back and see why. That and lying to your app just sets yourself for failure. You won’t know how much to restrict to make it up.)

Fruit/veggie fast the day after a high cal day. (You fucked up. Get over it, and fix it. Only eat low cal fruits and vegetables the next day, you’ll feel full but still be in a cal deficit. You may be starving, but you don’t need to feel it.)

Rules I’ll be implementing when school (college) starts back up

At least one day a week, eat less than 500 cal.

Meal prep low cal high nutrient foods. (You need protein, you DONT need extra calories. Boil some chicken, shred it, add some low cal seasoning. Do NOT add unnecessary things like oils, mayo, ranch, cream cheese NO. You want the protein that why you eat. Not for enjoyment)

You have a free gym membership, use it. (Oh, it’s ‘embarrassing’ working out in front of others? Get tf over it. You need to use the treadmill, and the stair master can burn EVEN MORE. Get over yourself and do it)

Bad weather isn’t an excuse. (It’s snowing? Tuff luck. Walk your ass to the gym and go on the treadmill. Its raining? Same thing, walk your ass to the gym and work out. Excuses build fat.)

Eat within your calorie deficit every day. (you have roommates? Worried the will notice how little you eat? Say you eat breakfast in your room, they don’t know what you keep there. They start acting worried? Wake up before them, say you ate. Get home after them, say you ate out. Lie.)

Rules for once I hit my UGW (125lbs)

Don’t stop. (So, your skinny now? So what. You can still look better. You can still lose fat. It’s time to focus on BUILDING muscle. Of course, not too much you don’t want to look like a man, but enough that you could be a swimsuit model.)

Track with Pictures more than anything (the plan is to build some muscle while cutting fat still now, yeah? So the number on the scale won’t be a completely accurate reflection of your efforts anymore {this does not mean stop weighing yourself}. You can look skinnier and weigh more with muscle, and we care about LOOKS not numbers)

Don’t let the doc.’s know. (This is where building muscle can come in handy. You don’t want to be stopped, so weigh a “healthy” weight, but let that “healthy” weight come from muscle, not fat. They never have to know.)

Don’t get bulky. (Yes, we’ve now switched mindsets from LOSING weight to GAINING muscle. That does not mean get bulky. Your goal is to look like a activewear model. Toned, fit, strong, but still dainty.)

Don’t stop cardio. (Cardio is what will KEEP you lean. Adding strength training does not allow you to cut out cardio. Remember, we NEVER want to look bulky.)

#weightloss #pro for only myself #pro #pro for me #tw ed rant #tw edd #calories #tw disordered eating #i want to be weightless #tw ana diary #🕯️as a 🪶#pro annnnna #prøana

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autisticempathydaemon · 4 months

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hihi im here for the redacted matches thing, if its still open :)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? “Perhaps Vampires Is A Bit Strong But…” by Arctic Monkeys! ive always loved indie rock music, and this song in particular just scratches that musical itch in my brain

What is your Enneagram type? Type 2, The Helper

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why? nooo they’re too long :(

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. i was supposed to have a childhood imaginary friend? nah fam i played with calico critters all day, i dont think i ever had a childhood imaginary friend

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? usually just listening to comforting audios, or taking melatonin

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?) it sounds cool as hell, and if the person i stole it from isn’t using it anymore, imma yoink that shit and claim it as my own

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? "Your Boyfriend's a Flirty Vampire Prince and ALSO a Cheeky Dork". heart eyes at Vincent rn

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) Yandere!Ivan and Regulus who genuinely makes me uncomfortable, i only ever listened to Yandere!Ivan for lore reasons and i have refused to even go near Regulus bc that mf is CREEPY. i dont get the hype for either of them really

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. OOOH okay SO theres this book called Just Ash by Sol Santana, and the main character is intersex!! ive only ever once seen an intersex character in a piece of media, and that was 7 years ago. Just Ash kinda details the struggles that some intersex people can go through, and i learned a lot because of it (i didnt even know that salt wasting was a thing before reading this book). Just Ash also inspired me to start doing research on disabilities that arent as well-known throughout the world, such as scoliosis or ostomy.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? Huxley. i need some good hugs in my life man. and Porter for queer reasons (that man is GAY you cannot tell me otherwise — plus you already know that he has some great sarcasm with the whole gag reflex quip)

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) when im low on energy, i either go nonverbal or start saying random silly things

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. despite being white, i have never had the classic white experience of visiting a gas station and terrorizing the cashier with my friends. i dont have a specific gas station that i like, but i looove the cherry slurpee omg that shit goes hard

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. i have ceremoniously named it ♥️ good shit ♥️ because it has good shit in it (imo). Arctic Monkeys, Laufey, Mitski, Lovejoy, The Orion Experience — basically any indie rock band/soft-voiced sad girl that goes hard

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? boyfriend asmr that surpasses asmr because its chocked full of lore and likable characters and world building and

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! i loveloveLOVE pink omg best color ever fr. also. i eat lore for breakfast, literally my favorite thing ever. i will listen as you info dump about those silly little characters that run around in your head. im also autistic btw if that counts for anything 👍

(ive done this before, but i dont think it sent last time 😭)

Oh, this is easy peasy lemon squeezy. If you’re an autistic person with a love of lore and stories, there’s no better match for you than Guy, our resident storyteller!

One, we love an A4A relationship, and Guy has got to be the dictionary picture of an AuDHD dude, you know? Two, Type Two’s are characterized as being friendly, giving people who want to love and be loved, and Guy would be a good match for you because he is just so loving, so affectionate. I also love him for you because Guy is kind of as far from a yandere as I can imagine, and that feels right.

The more I think about it, the more I realize just how much fun you and Guy would have. He, of the Redacted bois, strikes me as the most likely to listen to Redacted, so couldn’t you just imagine it being a shared special interest between the two of you? You could listen to early access together and scream about it on tumblr, because let’s be real, Guy 100% has a tumblr. He’d also adopt popular lines and the Redacted ringtone as vocal stims, and I can imagine you finding that charming and funny because it would be.

Song:

Every time I think of you/ I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue/ It's no problem of mine, but it's a problem I find/ Livin' a life that I can't leave behind/ There's no sense in telling me/ The wisdom of the fool won't set you free/ But that's the way that it goes and it's what nobody knows/ Well, every day my confusion grows

I’m not gonna lie- I don’t super know what this song means, and neither would Guy. I do know that it’s fun, it’s a love song, it’s indie rock, and it’s a classic. This strikes me as the type of song that Guy knows all the words and can perform without a second thought, thus he loves turning it up and singing it at you whenever it comes on in the car.

Runner-Ups:

David is a runner-up for you because I love A4A pairings, and David is my favorite Redacted boi to headcanon as autistic after Guy. However, I do prefer Camelopardalis as a runner up; he’s not autistic, but I think his nature is more outwardly effusive and affectionate than David’s which would be better for a Type Two.

note: thank you for waiting~ you did send this before, and it came through; it just took me some time to get through the entries before you 💛

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

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maiko1 · 2 years

Text

Misunderstanding. (platonic childe x gn! reader)

You were just walking around the liyue admiring the view after being in sumeru for a while. After all, you were a student there. You can't help but notice someone stalking you.

Tighnari once teach you that you don't need a device to know if someone was there secretly or not. You just need to pretend u don't notice them and keep walking while ur eyes focus on the enemies.

(you once train with cyno and you got hit by a stupid pole atleast 4 times until you got better even in different places.)

And so u did. You keep walking and walking until you can't take it anymore. You went into a more quite places to approach them. You also noticed a suspicious bushes moving alot than the other bushes, you took a quick move and immediately turn around and point at the suspicious bushes.

"no point in hiding. Get out or ill use forces." you speak. (if cyno is here he'd be proud) the person finally came out of the bushes and reveal a guy with the same height as you. "oh archon here we go again, tell me. Do u have any business with me that youre indeed stalking instead of approaching me?"

He's amazed. The look on his faces... "you noticed me I see!" you took out ur sword aiming at his neck. "please don't make me regret harming you with this sword.." he chuckle and back away with both of his hands up in the air. "i cant keep quite all day can I? Well I have no intention on harming you I promise. I saw your fighting skill and couldn't help but be interested in you."

"your point is..?"

"lets duel! I wana see how strong and capable you are. Win or lose doesn't matter to me. I wana see ur strength..dear wanderers."

"wait no no. I dont fight random people for absolutely no reason. Specially a duel to see if I'm strong or anything. I can't help but feel like you're underestimating my skill."

"you're kidding right? I'm interested in ur fighting skill! I wana see how you use it against me. Please, don't go easy on me. I wana see how long will I last." you can't help but sigh. "alright. But please, do forgive me if I go overboard."

"roger that"

The fights with him only last for half an hour and you both were crazy in the fights. "for a person who seem to be my age, you are quite strong!" the man said. "I admit, I never had a good fight in a while now and it feels amazing."

"but hey, you still hasn't answer my question. Why are you following me secretly instead of talking to me?" you look at him. "i actually just wana be ur friend in a unique way... Get it? "

"oh.."

"Yeah."

"creep."

"could say that but I'm not."

"y/n l/n btw."

"tartaglia, code me childe."

"pfft. Your funny you know that?"

"whys that?"

"you look funny tryna follow me like your gonna ambush me anytime soon and my thoughts that time was 'is this guy really targeting me?? I just arrive and I have done 0 crime..'

"really... HAHAH I can tell were gonna be great buddies."

"wana get some food? My treat by the way."

"serious?! You are too kind.. How about I treat u instead.

(argues for literal 5 minutes)

"fine fine! I'll let you treat me just because I'm still getting used in liyue."

"i know just a best places for us to enjoy after a great duel."

(ngl this is how I imagine yall eating as a kid who just woke up for breakfast LOL)

#childe x reader #childe #platonic genshin x reader #genshin platonic #genshin imagines #genshin childe #tartagila #genshin tartagalia #ajax x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact

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onlyplatonicirl · 9 months

Note

i the headcANON am greately pleased by your last correspondence with the council, as such like a magpie we are leaving shiny trinkets within your inbox, but nay these are not pennies or stolen rings, they are things we completely and totally made up! todays galavant into the realm of our collective soup of a mind is the one and only blorbo, our poor little meow meow, our Beko LSP3671DW Tall Fridge - White, our soggiest webkinz whom we like throw against the wall to hear the sound of its milk-drenched body 'thwap' against the wall... gradient <3

for some ungodly reason this little shit means the world to me, i have had such a dedicated connection to this asshole since about 2016 thats its boderline religious at this point, oh also have whilst we're at it, i'll throw in some general gracey headcanons too

really lives video games, probably because its what he spends almost all of his time doing, id imagine his favourite games would be somewhat grounded life-sims (games like stardew valley or minecraft), if you are a monster who knows literal gods and has technology which can teleport you at the tips of your fingers, the fantasy and sci-fi genre probably doesnt appeal to you all that much, its just everyday life

however, he also canonically likes shooters, and imo his favourite is splatoon because funny little squid people

loves anime and manga, probably really likes chainsaw man, neon genesis evangelion, and serial experiments lain

watched nge for the first time, saw rei and fell to his knees screaming she me, shes literally me

has slowly been getting casey into anime and manga, originally didnt want to because thats 'weeb shit innit?' but he watched chainsaw man and fell in love

so under a rock its not even funny, he doesnt know anyone outside of his family or some of the high-ranking council members. paperjam will off-handedly mention a popular celebrity in the omega timeline and he will have absolutely zero clue who that is. he probably knows more about human celebrities from earth, mainly footabllers - casey's doing obviously

has a neutral accent, by that i mean, he does not sound as though he is from anywhere, his voice is flat and montone (a combination of living in the middle of nowhere and autism lol) with no vocal fry or twang to speak of, however since living with casey he has begun picking up british slang and an ever so slight brummie accent

i dont know why but i get the impression his room isnt actually all that big, longer than it is wider, ink wouldve given him a bigger room but he asked for a smaller one because wide spaces make him anxious

gender? i hardly know her. refuses to elaborate on what his gender is, just tells a joke every time hes asked. additionally, i dont think he cares what pronouns people use for him. hes whatever gender makes the bit the funniest. when casey asked, he replied whatever gender liking me makes you gay as hell

when casey told him about how he pieced together his laptop from scrapped and stolen parts he became fascinated with it and began helping him upgrade it. now they own a pc which is top of the range but looks like the aftermath of a shrapnel bomb, gradient considers it his pride and joy

has errors lack of taste and willingness to eat anything, combined with inks general lack of taste and culinary knowledge. bro is eating packet noodles and chicken nuggets every day. casey once tried to cook breakfast, he made scrambled eggs but completely charred the eggs and he ate it anyways because it was a nice gesture. i think he can actually cook quite well though, he just cant be arsed too and the microwave is so much less effort

simultaneously think he has a really high tolerance for alcohol, if not just completely unaffected by him, or he has zero tolerance whatsoever

really interested in humans and their biology and anatomy. likes to go up to casey and squeeze his nose or poke his cheeks. has once, when watching a movie with him, spent about ten minutes just playing with his arm and wrist just watching and feeling the skin stretch and squish over his radius and ulna

secretly studies anatomy using casey

i like to imagine he is a genetic freak, sure gaster got the majority of his dna from ink and error, but he had to improvise certain parts, and others he simply added to really make his bioweapon pop yknow? he has retractable fangs and his teeth and eyes glow in the dark. hes like an alternate, his body doesnt work like how its supposed to, in cases this means he is flexible, too flexible, his jaw can extend further than it should, but in others it means his body craps out and is really susceptible to certain things like carpal tunnel syndrome or some form of skeleton-monster-thing chronic illness

cannot stand his reflection because he looks like error, none of the bathrooms on the floor his bedroom is on have mirrors, they did at one point but after having punched one in panic ink got rid of them all. this only became worse after the tERROR incident

really needs to see a therapist, he hates relying on casey because he feels as though hes putting all of his problems on him. goes through moods where he doesnt tell casey any of his worries and puts on a pretend happy front, whilst they dont argue a lot this is usually when they do argue because casey doesnt like gradient keeping his feelings secret, and bottling up his feelings only ends up making gradient stressed and snappy

okay so i know we usually play armchair psycologist and just claim every one in the undertale extended universe is autistic, but i need you to hear me out on this one, this little fucker is so unbelievably autistic its insane, error and by extension any glitched weirdo is already so autismcoded, generally cant stand touch/intimacy, like to be alone, difficulties expressing emotions especially empathy, flat affect or displaying inappropriate responses or facial expressions, but on top of all that hes also got a limited group of friends (especially in tcoti lmaoo) and interests, acts somewhat childish despite his age, and is a complete and total shut-in. yes these things could be explained away by other things such as him having anxiety about leaving the house due to incidents but the way he goes on about it is so incredibly relatable to me, someone with autism, he cannot simply just avoid certain situations, no he has to completely and totally avoid any and all social interaction he cant control and script beforehand, which in and of itself is black and white thinking

also gracey is literally just autism x adhd

despite literally being together they both call each other gay like school kids, one will go in for a hug and the other calls them gaylord. to combat this they started preemptively saying 'no homo'

would absolutely get married for the bit

- headcANON, i feel like i have more to say, but everyt thought has left our brain

I AM EATING SO WELL RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE IVE JUST BEEN GIVEN A FIVE COURSE MEAL

Gradient is literally my soggy bread I left in the sink after being done with my breakfast. I LOVE THESE HEADCANONS TIME TO TALK ABOUT THEM!!

- You’re so right abt the video games thing. Also he does like shooters a lot because of how much concentration it takes - they’re very engaging to him. Plus getting on voice calls with strangers is nice, especially if they have no idea who he is. It’s nice to laugh with other people.

- definitely likes anime, definitely is converting Casey. He thinks Casey’s sitcoms are dumb but watches them anyways because he likes how much his friend likes them.

- He is absolutely under a rock and keeps up with nothing. He may be terminally online but he does not keep up with the news of the Omega Timeline at all. He knows a decent amount of the higher-ranking council because he’s met a lot of them in person, and he used to go their for schooling, but he doesn’t like most of them. For obvious reasons.

- if I had to voice claim Gray I’d say something close to Leonardo from TMNT Mutant Mayhem. But without the New York accent.

- his room is large for a bedroom but still pretty condensed.

- (to me personally) he is like. A Boy but in the most nonbinary way possible.

- He’s pretty good with technology, but Casey managed to completely blow his mind. This kid was pulling apart a shitty laptop and putting it back together to get it to run. If they built a PC together it would be 100% function and 0% form.

- don’t tell me he wouldn’t spend like 20 minutes just staring at Casey’s ears.

- He is 100% a genetic little freak of nature and I love all of those headcanons. You did mention Gaster though, which I thought was interesting - Gradient’s canon story is “he was created by a bored Gaster in the void because combo funny heehee”. But seeing as I have removed all of the fourth wall breaking aspects as well as emphasized that Gradient was originally built to be a bioweapon, most of his backstory has changed, including his creator. Gradient’s creation, why he was created, and by whom is a very important part of the story that I am telling :)

- He has a mirror in his bathroom but he doesn’t look at it unless he has to. He did crack it once in the aftermath of a massive panic attack, but Ink was able to fix it. Gradient doesn’t like looking at himself but sometimes he needs to if he’s doing hygiene things.

- I don’t think there’s ever been anyone that needs to see a therapist more than Gradient and Casey

- Autism

- you are probably on my discord server because there was a massive conversation about how they would absolutely get married and just make it the most insufferable and worst wedding ever known to man (on purpose)

#ask lorel #anon #tcoti #gradient sans #gracey

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robinismywifee · 9 months

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Back to the Old House - Chapter 4

August 23rd, 2034

[4 weeks, 5 days since beginning of Chapter 3]

Raines age: 16 years, 6 months

Ellies age: 15 years, 3 months

CW: none?

Words: 1920

Masterlist

Raines POV:

Today is the first day of patrol. Maria was super impressed at the gun range and she gave me a week before doing the real patrol job, just making sure I was ready to be around new people, taking me out to eat and shit.

It's been difficult, but I need to pull my head out of my ass.

I woke up early, 6am, patrol started at 7am, but Maria wanted me to eat beforehand. I brushed out the knots in my hair and brushed my teeth, got dressed, just jeans and a black tanktop, as it was still summertime, and my black canvas shoes.

I swung my bag over my shoulder and equipped my holster around my theigh for my gun.

"Hey Maria" I said in a sleepy voice, rubbing my eyes, making my way into the kitchen where Maria sat at the stool infront the counter.

"Hey, you seem tired. You sure you're still up for it?" she said, sipping something out of a steaming mug.

"Yeah yeah, i'm sure- it's just early"

She nodded, "you want some?" she gestured to her cup, "uh, what is it?"

"Coffee" she smiled proud, "oh, no thanks, never had it. Wouldn't wanna waste any"

"You sure you don't wanna try? It has caffeine in it, get you out of your tired mood"

"Not really, i'll be fine with water."

"Would you rather us go to get breakfast or me make you something?"

"Uh.."

Well I would definitely rather stay here to get food, but I should probably go out to eat so i'm not too overwhelmed with meeting this Jesse guy.

"Let's go out?"

Maria smiled, she gulped down the last splashes of her coffee, placing the now empty mug on the table, "i'm glad you said that"

୨♡୧

After I ate only half my food, since it felt like i was gonna puke if I ate anymore, me and Maria left to go to the stables.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't finish it.." I practically mumbled to her as we walked

"What? No. Don't be. You probably have lots of anxiety right now and i'm proud that you even tried. I'm also very proud that you're going out of your comfort zone to do this job."

I felt confused. Why is Maria so nice to me?

she wouldn't be if she knew the real me.

I stayed quiet. Thinking of how happy her words made me feel and thinking of how much I didn't deserve to feel that happiness.

"Hey" Maria waved to the guy who worked at the stables once we arrived, "We're gonna have you take this guy. We found her injured a few months ago but shes healed since, and fully trained. She's a good girl who was in need of an owner. She doesn't have a name yet either, so feel free to name her. This will be both of you guys first time on patrol" Maria smiled, as she handed me the horses rein.

I nodded, getting up on the horse. "perfect, now just follow me" Maria said softly, I followed next to her slowly riding my horse until we made it to infront the exist, I saw 7 other people on horses. They all looked to range from ages 18-30.

"Sorry for the wait. We got new patrol people, this is Raine" Maria introduced me to everyone, as I shyly waved. It felt weird considering i've been in town for weeks now, and yet I only know about 6 people, 2 of them I dont even know the names of.

"Hey Raine! I'm Jesse" one of the people said, it was the guy closest to me and looked to be the same age as me. His smile was gentle and he seemed nice. Maybe this won't be too bad.

"Hi" I awkwardly said, unsure of what else to say as he already knew my name.

"Great, I hope you two become friends as you'll be working together from now on, that is if everything goes well, but im certain it will."

Maria continued to talk about saftey precautions and which partner group was taking which route, Jesse already had taken this route before from when he had did group patrol, so I was basically just gonna have to follow him.

Once the gate opened, every partner group went separate ways, and it was just me and Jesse.

"So, I heard you came in weeks ago and was in the hospital for awhile. I also heard you got out of it weeks ago, where you've been?" Jesse asked in a curious tone, glancing to the side to look at me for my answer. When I opened my mouth nothing came out, he spoke up before I could make an embarrassing scene. "Sorry, that could be very personal, I dont wanna overstep anything.."

"Uh- no it's fine. I- I was just um.. I mean, I was in a coma? So I was recovering.. from it.. i've been staying at Maria and Tommy's place."

God, I sound so fucking stupid. Also im lying. I've been done recovering, i've just been staring at the wall in bed letting my own thoughts consume me.

"Oh, thats cool. Maria and Tommy are nice dudes."

It was awkward silence since I didn't know how to reply, and by the time I thought of just saying 'yeah' it was too late to reply.

"So what's it like being in a coma? I heard you dream some weird stuff- oh, and when people visited you, could you hear them?"

I softly smiled at his excited banter, he actually felt nice to be around and didn't make me that type of uncomfortable yet.

"Uhh, no weird dreams that I remember. Just was sorta blank. And, I wouldn't know. It's not like anyone vistied me"

"What do you mean? Of course she vi-" Jesse started saying, but stopped talking in the middle of his sentance. I scrunched my brows confused.

"Uhh.. sorry," he let out a dry chuckle, "forgot what I was gonna say"

What the fuck was that about?

I nodded, feeling awkward.

"Uhhhmm. So what made you wanna do patrol?"

Jesse asked, "Oh, just thought i'd be good and could help out."

"Nice.." Jesse nodded looking at me, as I stared down at my horses mane. "same.." he said, stretching out the A.

"Welp, Maria had us take a short route since its our first time and we're young, so.. here we are"

Jesse said, once we made it some office type building.

I didn't say anything, we entered it and Jesse signed us in. "You don't talk much, do you?"

"Guess not."

He nodded, pukering his lips and blowing air out. "Hey, you wanna know a fun fact about me?"

"Uh.. not really?" I asked, confused of why he kept trying to talk to me as we searched the building. "Can I tell you anyway?"

I shrug, not caring.

"Okay, well, my girlfriend, is actually the one that found you. You know, like right before you passed out in that coma."

My eyebrow's scrunched, and my face visibly showed confusion. What is he talking about? Ellie was the one that found me and shes not into gu-

"Dina, is her name"

Oh right. They were in groups.

I nodded, "Nice" I said not knowing how else to respond. "I think you and Dina could be friends. You'll have to meet her one of these days"

"No thanks" I said, cutting him off. He looked at me confused, "Oh- I just meant, i'm not really.. a social person, and meeting you is enough for me.. for awhile.."

His confusion dropped as he understood. "Gotcha. Well, still, it's a small town, you're gonna have to meet her eventually. But yeah, sure, take your time"

The rest of the patrol was boring silence broken up with Jesse throwing in information about himself that I didn't need to know. He even told me his shoe size? He's kinda weird. But definitely better then most, he wasn't being weird to me in that way at all and I feel like I could relax around him.

We finished the job and made it back to Jackson. It only took us a few hours since we had a short and recently cleared route. We didn't run into any infected or anything.

The people at the gates said hello to Jesse and welcomed us back, I figured that they didn't know my name. We rode to the stables, the stables were empty except for the same person working from before, and a black haired girl standing off to the side, looking as if she was waiting for something. She looked odly familiar.

Jesse was infront of me when I heard the girl speak up excitedly, "Jesse! How was it?"

Jesse smiled, "Hey Dina,"

So thats her? Fuck I hope Jesse doesnt try and make me introduce myself.

"It was pretty chill, we had a short route and no trouble. No infected or anything."

Jesse got off his horse and put the horse in its assigned stable, while I did the same. I saw from the corner of my eye Jesse and Dina hugging.

I could feel their eyes on me once they stopped hugging. "Raine? This is Dina"

I took a breath before turning around, "Hi" I mumbled, barley audible. "Hi, it's nice to meet you. I'm glad to see you up!"

Are you though?

I nodded slightly, pressing a fake smile that I thought was convincing when in reality it wasnt at all, and then turned around to leave.

Once I left the stables and was out of their view, I heard Jesse apologizing for my behavior.

Why the fuck do I act like that?

I speed walked to Marias with my head down, feeling my heart pump fast. My cheeks were red from embarrassment.

Once I got to the house, Maria was already in the living room, and was alerted by me slamming the door shut that I was back.

She got off from the couch and ran over to me, "Raine? Whats wrong, did you get hurt? Did you get bit?" Maria asked me in a calm voice, but you could hear panic and worry behind it.

"No- no im fine-" I took a deep breath, feeling my cheeks grow more red from being even more embarrassed, since I was starting to have a hard time breathing over it.

"Well what's wrong? Was it too soon to go out?"

I shook my head, bringing my hands to cover my face, "No, I just- I dont know, I think it was just- alot, for such a short time." I breathed out, pushing past Maria to get water from the kitchen.

"Oh, i'm sorry hun, are you gonna hold off on patrol for awhile, or are you gonna stick with it?"

She asked, following behind me to the kitchen.

"No- I can still do it. Im fine. Tomorrow at the same time?"

She nodded, "Are you sure? How was Jesse? Do you want to switch him for someone else?"

I immediately shook my head no. That would just cause more trouble, and I would have to meet another person.

Before Maria could talk more, I took my water and went to my room.

#the last of us #ellie williams #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x oc #ellie williams x you #the last of us part 2 #back to the old house #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams series

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dballzposting · 1 year

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What if you were Trunks and you were like 17 and you were staying up too late to do your homework and you're at a kitchen table because if you go to your room you're afraid that you'll just start playing video games again & Yamucha is visiting right now and hes staying in a guest bedroom somewhere & you dont really care & last time he spent a few days here you caught him in the morning (11 am) once standing around in his underwear going through the cupboards like "You guys got any cornflakes?" & then when he found the cornflakes he had sat down and ate three bowls in a row & so to not be impolite you had sat down too and let him tell you stories & the spoon just looked so tiny in his giant hairy man hands & he was defintiely bigger than your dad though not as muscular & it just sort of felt like he was towering over the bowl though by temperament he is a swell guy & afterwards you had looked at your own hands and wondered if they'll ever get that big and masculine and hairy. And you're prepared for this to happen again but since youre staying up late you'll probably sleep late so maybe you'll avoid him in the morning.

And it's pretty late and you're mother is off to bed soon but she sits with you for a moment to make sure that you're doing homework and then sighs and mutters "I guess this'll be a late night for Vegeta." Becasue it was common for Vegeta to disappear for odd hours without telling anyone where he was going. And to your mother who cant sense ki, he could be a planet away, even if hes just in a far room of capsule corp.

And it really is common for Vegeta to go somewhere random and stare at the ocean or whagever, but it was also common for him to just be offscreen but Around, so to help your mother out, you take a jab at sensing his ki. And this time, he really is just in the building.

"You might see him yet tonight," you say. "He's just in the next wing over."

Your mother takes start, and she asks, "what, dont tell me hes socializing with Yamucha."

You check again, and oh yeah, that must be the guest bedroom where Yamucha is staying, and yep, they're both over there.

"Oh," you say, realizing how odd that is. "I'm surprised myself."

"Well this I have to see."

Your mother leaves and you return to your homework, disinterested and unbothered.

A while later, you think you hear someone yelling, but it's too far away for you to be sure.

A bit after that, rapid footsteps approach, and you turn to see none other than Yamucha speeding past the doorway. Then he stops and backtracks and reappears and waves at you.

"Hey buddy!" He says, and hes shirtless, and is wearing yellow pants, and his hair is tied back messily, and he looks very much like hes been slapped the shit out of, and he is carrying the top half of his yellow suit in one elbow, and his traveling briefcase in the other hand. "Nice seeing you today, but I gotta jet. Stay in school! And, maybe try to put a good word in for me with your mom. You know, stress that I've been a good friend for years, and that I really am sorry, and maybe dont tell her where I am if she tries to hunt me down? Okay, bye!" and then hes gone.

You go to bed that night like normal, and the next day your father is absent from the breakfast table, and you ask your mother why that is, and she says that she sent him to eat alone outside, and you ask her what he did, and she says "Why dont YOU ask HIM what he DID," which usually means that Bulma and Vegeta have differing opinions on what "he did," and she thinks that his version is stupid.

To spare yourself the long ire-filled rant that your mother's answer would be, you go outside and ask your father what he did.

"I had gay sex with Yamucha," he says.

#dballz posting #YamgetaYaoi

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plvshbrainz · 5 months

Text

I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT TO ACTUALLY POST. SO I'M JUST GOING TO GIVE THE WORLD VARIOUS SHIT I HAVE SAID. WITHOUT CONTEXT. ENJOY OR WHATEVER.

DID YOU JUST CALL MY SISTER A SAUSAGE?

TRAIN THE ROCK JOHNSON

HOLY CRACKERS, WAS THAT SANTA CLAUSE?

THANK YOU FAMILY GUY

GOD WANTS YOU TO BECOME A SIGMA MALE, TRUST ME

NOT ALL MY MAULINGS ARE EROTIC

DONT HIT ME WITH THE KICKED PUPPY DEMEANOR BITCH ITS NOT GOING TO WORK

YOURE ONTO THE SEX PART OF EATING

I WONDER IF I COULD EAT A RIFLE WHOLE

THE FUCK DO THESE PEOPLE THINK YELLING FOR HELP IS GOING TO DO. FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF DUMBASSES

WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT LIZARD BUSSY

SORRY FOR BEING A GAY VILLAIN I CANT HELP IT

I TOLD YOU YOUR BONES WERE WORTH ADMIRING

DUMBASS TURTLE. SORRY EXCUSE OF A REPTILE

OH SO ITS OK TO PISS ON IT BUT NOT CUM ON IT I SEE

I DONT SUCK TO SUCK. I SUCK TO GET MEN OFF

IM A HEAVY ARMED LIZARD

GET AN EGO OR YOUR NOT GETTING ANY LIZARD ACTION

CANDYCANE DEEPTHROATING TIME

NO RAINBOWDASH, DON'T KILL YOURSELF

SHOW ME THE ROCK'S ROCK

WATCH YOUR LUNCH FOREPLAY STUFF

CRYING IS LAME. REAL MEN RESORT TO VIOLENCE

DING DING DING. WE HAVE A FAGGOT

THEY JUST WALKED ON ME AND LEFT

IMAGINE MY BRITISH ACCENT COMES OUT ONLY WHEN IM HAVING SEX

HOW IS THE DUDE STILL ALIVE. OH, RACISM

I ALSO LAY EGGS IF YOU EVER WANT BREAKFAST. ONLY ONCE A MONTH THOUGH

YOU GOTTA GIVE THEM A CLINICALLY INSANE CACKLE. HEHHEEHEHHEHAHHAHAHAHAHHEHHEHEHAHAHHEHAAAA

MAKE MY FUCKING DREAMS COME TRUE GAY BOY

APPARENTLY HIS TYPE IS BRITISH PROPLE AND HOMICIDAL LIZARDS. I HAPPEN TO BE BOTH

#ME POSTS #QUOTES #THE FAGGOT (DIRK)#<- JUST BECAUSE A LOT ARE DIRECTED AT HIM.#HOMESTUCK #CALIBORN #FICTIVE

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sexykatsuki17 · 1 year

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Todoroki’s Revenge

Todoroki and Midoriya were up enjoying breakfast at Todoroki’s house Bakugo was there as well. Bakugo appeared more cranky than usual. Why? That’s because he is aching and sore. Bakugo made his way downstairs and he was shirtless.

Midoriya saw him Good morning Kacchan, Bakugo didn’t say anything he just got a bowl, uhm Bakugo didn’t you hear Midoriya say anything? Todoroki asked and also put on a shirt.

OI, SHUT THE FUCK UP ICYHOT IM FUCKING SORE AND I DONT CARE!!!!! Bakugo yelled his stomach gurgling loudly instead Bakugo grabbed an apple going back upstairs.

Todoroki rolled his eyes. I can't stand him then why did you invite him here? Midoriya asked my dad said he should rest after training yesterday so he brought him here Todoroki said. You really do hate him don’t you? Midoriya asked Hate him? No, he just gets on my nerves with all his damn yelling. Midoriya chuckled, I second that and they clicked glasses.

After breakfast Bakugo, Todoroki, and Midoriya went to school. Bakugo was incredibly sore that he just spent his day in recovery’s girl office. Kirishima Bakugo’s best friend was taking notes for him. Hey kirishima Todoroki and Midoriya said hey guys kirishima said bakubro isn’t feeling well so I’m taking notes for him kirishima said you do know he’s just sore right? Todoroki asked yeah I know but when you’re sore you don’t feel 100% kirishima said true Midoriya said.

Soon enough Bakugo walked through the door and he saw Kirishima and he walked over to him. Come with me you’re walking me back to the dorms Bakugo said why? Kirishima asked don’t question me Bakugo said Todoroki rolled his eyes at Bakugo.

He was thinking of a plan after school Todoroki, Midoriya and Bakugo had training with All Might and Endeavor. So at lunch time Todoroki is going to go to the store that’s near UA and get the most powerful laxative he could find.

Bakugo was taking a warm shower for his aching muscles the part that was the most stiff on him was his back, once he finished he put on his underwear and his black bomb pants and he laid down on his stomach. Kirishima gave him a deep tissue back massage. Cracking his spine and unloosing those stiff aching muscles Bakugo moaned so what was Deku and Icyhot talking to you about? Bakugo asked, I’m sure what they wanted Kirishima said. ohh so sore Bakugo Groaned do you want me to stop? Kirishima asked did I say that? Bakugo asked no Kirishima said then shut the hell up and keep on rubbing. Bakugo said Kirishima continued to rub his back.

Todoroki and Midoriya went to the sore and got the laxative. So what are you going to put it in? Midoriya asked as they walked into the dorms his water bottle in the fridge Todoroki said. Okay Midoriya said so Todoroki got Bakugo’s water bottle and he dumped half of the laxative into his drink and he stirred it up placing it back into the fridge. I also got him some prunes Todoroki said Midoriya smiled.

Soon after Kirishima came downstairs he was upset. Kirishima, what's wrong? Midoriya asked it’s Bakugo he’s so damn rude I can’t take anymore kirishima said he’s always talking to me as if I’m dumb Kirishima said. Well you’re in lucky cause I’m pulling some revenge on him just like you I’m sick and tired of him Todoroki said. So what’s the plan? Kirishima asked.

Todoroki told him of his plans and Kirishima’s job was to keep him from entering the bathroom. Soon Bakugo came downstairs dressed in his school outfit. You idiots ready? Bakugo asked, grabbing his water bottle. He took a few sips here eat some prunes. Todoroki said why would I eat anything that you brought? Bakugo asked just as Bakugo’s stomach growled out of hunger. Tch, fine Bakugo took the bag form Todoroki he ate some as they waited for Endeavor and All Might.

It was a small bag so Bakugo ate the whole thing and he drinked more of his water. Todoroki smiled what the hell are you smiling at? Bakugo asked oh nothing Todoroki said soon enough endeavor and All Might came to collect them.

While driving to the Agency Bakugo felt his lower stomach beginning to growl. You okay? Todoroki asked don’t worry about it Bakugo said his stomach continued to growl in an upset way. Bakugo bit his lower lip and gently rubbed his stomach. You okay? God dynamite? Endeavor asked Bakugo just looked out the window, shaking his leg as the growling in his lower stomach continued.

All Might, Midoriya, and Kirishima were talking and laughing. Soon Bakugo, Todoroki, and Endeavor walked into the building and soon All Might, Midoriya, and Kirishima walked into the building as well. The growling in Bakugo’s stomach got louder Ugh, Bakugo groaned Shut the hell and die Stupid Stomach why are so upset anyway? Bakugo asked but then he remembered. Wait a second Bakugo asked HEY YOU BASTARD YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH WHY MY STOMACH IS UPSET DIDN’T YOU!!!!! Bakugo yelled. Todoroki shook his head I don't know what you’re talking about YES THE FUCK YOU DO YOU BROUGHT THOSE PRUNES KNOWING WE HAD SOMETHING TO DO TODAY YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!!!!! Bakugo yelled but then he started farting rather loudly YOUR FUCKING DEAD!!!!! Bakugo yelled. Running to the bathroom. Todoroki started laughing.

When Bakugo reached the bathroom he saw Kirishima standing in the way MOVE!!!!! Bakugo yelled sorry dude, someone is in the bathroom Kirishima said Bakugo’s stomach growled loudly. Bakugo loudly farted with each fart it came out watery Bakugo blushed running to the next one. Kirishima laughed.

Bakugo reached the next Bathroom he saw Midoriya standing there, MOVE YOU DAMN NERD!!!!! Bakugo yelled Sorry Kacchan someones is in the bathroom Midoriya said oh for fuck sakes Bakugo said he went to the next Bathroom MIdoriya laughed.

Bakugo went to every bathroom and each of them was locked. Bakugo’s stomach growled extremely loud Bakugo moaned Ugh Bakugo moaned he soon approached Endeavor and All Might. What’s wrong you should be getting Ready Endeavor said Bakugo placed a hand on his stomach as it growled. What’s the matter Young Bakugo? All Might asked I need to use the bathroom but they were all locked. Bakugo said What? Endeavor asked Bakugo pushed and out came a lot of Diarrhea. Bakugo blushed and he kept pooping himself.

Bakugo dropped to his knees and the diarrhea just kept coming out. Bakugo started crying out of embarrassment. Midoriya and kirishima watched from afar and they felt bad for Bakugo. Endeavor and All Might helped Bakugo.

After Bakugo’s little sick spell he was in his dorm room resting. Kirishima and Midoriya were helping Bakugo out all while Todoroki was in the hospital recovering from the beating he got from Bakugo during the training with Endeavor and All Might. Lesson learned for Todoroki: never upset Bakugo’s stomach without a good reason. Kirishima and Midoriya learned that lesson as well because they were on board with Todoroki’s foolishness.

#katsuki bakugo mha #eijiro kirishima #shoto torodoki #bnha endeavour #all might #upset stomach #stomach gurgling #farting #follower request #diarrhea #laxitives #revenge scheme #mild cussing

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who-is-shades · 11 months

Text

raz dnd 4

wheatley spacecore and parsley wake up cool. robot god is confused why this keeps happening lol. senna puts her arms around wheatley in relief. they lean in ;-; teya is dead asleep though lol.

zen is glad their back. parsley went back to sleep, wheatley is a little confused how long he was out. he realizes he has a soul. android is being a jerk and wheatley isnt having it. android says he doesnt have a soul and wheatley stomps over pissed.

wheatley is going to hit him but zen steps in and seperates them. wheatley avoids senna and walks off :( long rest. also teya has scars now.

its morning! parsley is confused lol. zen happily informs him his soul left again lol. zen also made breakfast! how did he get bacon? god apparently lol. wheatley is solar powered! his batteries run for 1 year after storing!

senna preps teya's plate for her since shes all sore. parsley realizes teya is scarred. wheatley walks away from camp to soak in the sun. space core is just running around adorably. parsley gives it bacon but i dont think it can eat it.

wheatley is a little insecure so zen goes over and talks to him. he just says hes tired. wheatley doesnt wanna be hated. zen says its not possible to avoid that. someone will always hate you for one way or another.

wheatley asks why the god has a lot of warforged, but arent they organic made? zen says he had organic worshipers once wheatleys creators. wheatley doesnt remember who his people were. he thinks android would know but isnt sure he wants to know. god sent android with us in the hopes he comes to care about organics. (hard mode) then they talk about how to worship the robot god xD

we continue on the journey! zen stops us cause something is coming. nooo. the grounds shaking. its a giant! zen tells us to retreat! space core wants to climb it.... oh no. it bolts toward the giant. senna goes after space core to try and stop it. giant is big and angry. zen also runs toward us to try and stop us. the giant tries to kill us but FUCKING SPINGLEDORF TURNS IT INTO A STONE?! HES OLD AND ALIVE FUCK YEAH!!

spacecore loves his star robe lol. he wants stars and spingledorf gives him an illusion of stars ;-; he introduces himself with like a flare show lol. senna curtsies and dorf bows. dorf is excited to learn that sp is wheatleys son. this is so fun! teya and dorf talk about magic lol.

he says he had a talking skull friend and lost all his necromancy powers xD named lancelot?! hes from another world! he accidentally teleported to a different world and couldnt go back. he mentions nana xD he stops rambling and asks what were up to. mission from god! android tells us to shut up lol. zen also agrees darn. dorf is excited to see so many warforged. he asks if were all friends sadge. parsley says his name is also spingledorf lol. we tell him not to talk to android, cause hes an asshole. dorf says android is bad at insults lol.

spacecore pulled off one of the stars oh no. he tries to attach it to himself aww. it sticks there! dorf didnt know that could happen lol. hes on a quest to study a race of magical fish people? they have an ability to bring a god into reality?! can make gods?! (my internet got a little fucky here)

he noticed weird energy on teya and asks if shes healthy. teya has no idea lol. senna is worried :( dorf offers to look into this later. dorf wants our help! (HE HAS WISH AS A SPELL WTF) his magic shows the fish people are around here. zen says we can do this, we gotta get stronger! dorf joins the party! (hes level 20 jeezus)

senna tries to get teya to talk cause shes distracted. teya says the trolls talked about what we tasted like. they said teya tasted rotten. senna says it might be from the necromancy? teya says its all weird.

space core runs up to teya and starts tapping her. he forgets what he wanted to do and walks away lol. then it comes back and pats her lol. wheatley goes back in the tube cause addi goes eepy.

dorf notices that senna was a sorcerer! dun dun duuuun! she tries to deflect it being a cleric but it doesnt work. senna reiteritates she has not ever been a sorcerer. dorf just....doesnt pick up on anything xD

senna deflates and says she gave up sorcery. she says shes lived a long life, she no longer needs it. he says she has great capability with fire! senna just books it away from dorf. parsley tells dorf he pissed her off and teya tells him to give her some space. zen tells them not to stray too far.

teya goes to try and talk to her. she asks if shes ok and senna just mumbles that shes fine. getting angrier with every 'im fine.' she allows teya to stay.

dorf says he senses nothing from parsley lol xD parsleys lies that spingledorf is a common fairy name so maybe hes part fairy xD senna mumbles wtf are they doing back there? teya yells at parsley in sylven lol. senna is trying not to laugh at all these shennagins.

dorf points at a tree and it comes to life! an animated tree! fuck! the tree wants us to just leave him alone so we keep walking nice. spingledorf the dwarf and spingledorf the fairy (parsley lol)

parsley explain that sylvein is fey language so dorf should be able to pick it up. he asks parsley to teach him. senna cant understand but she KNOWS what their doing. dorf tries to say 'hello' to senna and she just starts praying lol.

dorf also apologizes for upsetting senna. she cant stay mad at him so she kneels down and gives him a hug xD puss in boots looking mf-

he mentions he met toriel! and the other members of the group! AND his cousin dans! (not yet cause other group but eventually) teya is fuckin SHOOK. she has a panic attack! senna helps her sit down.

parsley distracts dorf by 'teaching him more fey'. senna stays with teya to help her calm down. parsley takes the book away to close it and dorf fuckin loses it for a sec xD

senna is helping teya calm down from her panic attack. she calms down and apologizes for freaking out. senna asks if she wants to talk about it. senna says that tori was her sister. senna rubs her thumb over her cheek and says to take solice that tori is living a full life somewhere. senna understands missing someone that should be dead.

teya says wishes dont help. dorf naturally says he has a wish spell wtf. senna is like 'wtf you can do what?!' teya doesnt wanna hurt spingledorf though.

teya asks if tori is happy. dorf says she seemed happy. 2 kids. totally dating dans xD (now b team CANT see the group until dans and tori are a thing) she asks if events from there are similiar here. dorf says theres differences and hasnt met the others from that world. teya asks if her family is still alive. dorf says tori never talked about them only that something terrible happaned. says dans told him about tori's sad life while they were drinking. teya says tori caused that to happen here oh no xD

senna asks if he heard of parsley or senna. dorf says senna looks like someone from a violent religious group. (lol) senna distracts everyone and says we gotta find the fish people. dorf sadly remembers the religious groups name: The Noble Ember. whooo lore.

senna looks extremely distraught. teya rolls a history check but doesnt know shit xD dorf says they got wiped out a long time ago, but might be making a comeback. senna also then has a panic attack. she cant hear anyone shes just fuckin gone.

teya yells at parsley to stop spingledorf so he distracts him by asking him to find someplace to eat. he summons some doors!? it leads to a mansion?! parsley does NOT wanna go in there lol. he says we can bring food back for the others and dorf is confused. sadly you cant bring the food out. parsley tells dorf the girls cant go because their upset. teya says they need a moment. the doors disappear.

senna is totally freaked out, rocking back and forth saying 'i cant do this again' over and over. teya holds sennas hands awww. her hands are cold and begins to snap senna out of it. she touches her face and she melts in her hands and collapses into teya. she says she doesnt feel very well. dorf offers a place to rest and reopens the doors! senna is weary and grateful. teya helps senna up and leads her inside. parsley stays outside with the robots.

one of the servents helps support senna and gets her inside.

#mod shades #dnd #dnd adventures

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