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poop-your-baby-out · 2 years

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Fateful Birth Day - Part 2

Luke’s supervisor comes up, “Luke we need your help, come with me, I’ll fill you in as I go.” They walk down the hall and she continues, “we try to move the laboring mothers through the ward in their stages, as each one graduates, we move them along closer to the doctors in the big delivery room at the end of the hall.” They approach the first room, all of the ladies just from the waiting room are in there, clearly just needing to pant to resist the urge at this point (no slow low breaths now or else baby could come out). The supervisor hesitates… “it’s just… well lots of these ladies are first time mommas, be gentle and nice to them, encouraging… if you really feel like one of them really needs privacy… like something’s coming out, we can move her along.”

They walk along, “the next room… well, you’re a male staffer, we can’t use you in here unless we really just don’t have the support… this room sets up squat supports for women who… well… it’s not a place for male staff unless you’re a doctor. They’re panting a LOT through this, and very much need to push… lots of them have the baby’s head… or something much more embarrassing and just as big in their bottoms… half out, and they need deep eye contact to blow and concentrate… they’re hoping they can get to privacy and/or a doctor, but most pass it in there, and the baby soon follows. Only for female staff and doctors.”

They go back to the first room, entering boldly, “Hello ladies,” Luke’s supervisor announces, trying to act like having a male staffer in here like this is normal. “We’re running a little short staffed today, so Luke is going to help us! Ok so Luke, just kneel with the mama, maybe lift her shirt and cream her belly? Rub it all over, the cool belly butter feels good, just lift her stomach as you rub, it’ll help her panting be more effective!” His supervisor leaves in a hurry. The woman’s eyes are impossibly wide with embarrassment, he’s about to cream her bare pregnant belly… only her husband had EVER done that, she wouldn’t have even bared her belly at, say, the pool this summer, so to have this kid cream her entire bare pregnant stomach? Luke smatters the cream heavily on her bare pregnant tummy. She looks astonished… “hee hee hoo hoo that’s only a job for my… hoo hoo hoo my husband, I’m waiting for him to arrive, before I hoo hoo hoo, push.” She says, hoping he will make it back for a brief furlough, the baby coming the day he’s scheduled to arrive home.

He moves on to the next laboring lady. He kneels in front of her, placing a hand on her laboring stomach… rubbing. He, in one quick swoop, lifts the hem of her shirt, baring her entire pregnant stomach, and kisses it right below her poked out belly button. He confidently looks up and smiles. She, so astonished, defaults to thinking this must be normal… “ohh hooo hooo hooo what a… what a sweet young man. Please, hee hee hoo hoo maybe have a hoo hoo hoo nurse apply the cream… it’s just… ooooooh, I need to concentrate on this contraction… I feel like, hee hee hoo hoo, the baby’s about to come out of my bottom!”

“Like you have to poop the baby out honey?” he asks her sympathetically, and she turns two shades of red and nods, eyes wide as saucers, determined to not make a constipated facial expression while making deep eye contact with him. “Is hee hee hoo hoo is that female nurse coming back so she can help me pass it?”

“Sorry miss, my supervisor had to attend to other women in labor, she left me in here to make sure no one starts pushing. Here, let me smear it allllll over your pregnant stomach.” His hands run all over her bare pregnant belly. “Oh wow your stomach’s sooooo soft. Maybe when the contraction peaks it could help if I kissed your stomach some more to encourage you while you blow through that urge?”

The woman nods frantically, so bewildered. She pulls her shirt down, and starts to slowly stand. She presses her thighs together, and blows rhythmically. Her hips wiggle and she does a silly dance, pressed thighs looking like she’s holding the baby in her bum. She looks full and urgent. “Oooh I need to bob up and down to hold it until you leave, I can’t push with you in here…” she sniffles, mortified and desperate to poop her baby out of her bottom… maybe Luke’s supervisor will need to move him.

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austajunk · 3 years

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(Heyo, I hope you don't mind me sharing my thoughts in your inbox. I just think you're cool and have good opinions, so here I am.)

OK, so I love Komahinanami as an OT3. As friends, or romantically, or whatever. I just love them a lot.

What I reeeeally don't like about it, though, is (some of) the fans' portrayal of it. For some people, it's never Komahinanami as a three-way relationship, with them all caring for and loving each other equally.

It's either Komahina with Chiaki just "added on", or it's Hinanami with Nagito just "added on", or it's Komahina + Hinanami with no interaction between Nagito and Chiaki at all.

(Like... where's the Komanami love?)

And if they do interact, then it's almost always negative. Chiaki's made out to be the girl who Nagito hates more than anything else, the girl who gets in the way of Komahina. And Nagito's made out to be this jealous, possessive asshole who is disgusted by Chiaki and only cares about Hajime. Which is just 1) not true to the characters at all, and 2) really confusing to me, because I don't know where it comes from other than just projection.

People do realise that Nagito never showed one single hint of either hatred towards Chiaki or posessiveness towards Hajime, right? I don't know where this whole "Nagito hates Chiaki, is jealous of her, and wanted to kill her for the sake of Hajime" thing comes from. Maybe it's just some fans' projection, but... it's just not canon, and it's not part of Nagito's character at all.

And Hajime isn't the only person who Nagito is capable of caring about or developing a positive relationship with. Let him have friends and people he cares about other than Hajime, even if you only ship Komahina.

Bottom line: I love Nagito, Chiaki and Hajime, I love fan works where they interact, and I love it when they're actually in character, and not made totally OOC to satisfy fans' bad character interpretations and hatred of female characters.

(Sorry again about the inbox rant - just wanted to share my thoughts!)

Hooo boi. Hoooo boi. Oh anon, you just tackled one of my biggest pet peeves of this fandom right to its core. Also thanks for saying I’m cool. :3

Firstly, the denial of the Komanami side of KomaHinaNami, but honestly… that I could deal with. This is why I focus on a lot of the KomaNami side of things on my blog but I don’t mind so much the “Hajime has two hands” side of this ship because usually from what I’ve seen, people have Chiaki be Nagito’s best friend or wing lady with Hajime and he appreciates and adores her and confides in her about Hajime and shares Hajime with her and all three are happy. Like.. in a way, that’s still ultra pippity poppity cute!

But yeah, the KomaHina fans who like to portray Chiaki as just the girl who is in the way of their relationship, as if Nagito hates or is jealous of Chiaki… no, just no. It has never once been like that! Before he really got to know Hajime, Chiaki was the only person who accepted and tried to understand Nagito. She was kind to him and he seemed to appreciate her in turn, insisting that her being their class rep made her their biggest light of Hope. He even pleads with her not to take on Junko, that he knew they were no chance against them but believes in Chiaki anyways and is devastated to the point of breaking down and sobbing at her death. Of course, he twists things and beseeches Chiaki’s name, insisting that she can lift them up with her death… but only because he’s coping. In his own world in the Neo World Program, she is missing because the memory of her (and Hajime) hurt him so much that he had to block it out. His desire to see her along with the rest of the class brings her back to them as an AI that leads them all back to the right path.

As for the idea that Nagito is jealous of Chiaki… I think they get that from one scene in DR2 where Chiaki says she’s gonna go find Fuyuhiko in Chapter 2 to question him. She leaves and Hajime is irked about being left alone with Nagito, to which Nagito is like “Oh I’m sorry! You wanted her to stay?!” Honestly… people seem to ignore that before Chiaki left, Nagito expressed concern about her questioning Fuyuhiko and told her to not let him “get rough” with her. So… Nagito clearly cares. Out of everyone (including Hajime) in the main storyline, Nagito openly praises Chiaki and her talents the most. He will also politely oblige her and be quiet when she asks while he does not for anyone else. Also the thing is… Nagito is pretty protective of Chiaki. In Chapter 4, when Chiaki gets overwhelmed by Nagito being clingy, she runs away from him only for him to appear behind her five minutes later and urging her to remember that she could get hurt on her own and that she shouldn’t have run off.

More to the point, let’s pretend Chiaki and Nagito were like… rivals for Hajime’s affection like Chisa and Juzo were. That they directly mirror them (they don’t as much as we think). Even Juzo and Chisa loved and appreciated each other platonically. They were incredibly important to each other in this show while being in love with the same person. In the mangas furthermore, we have these scenes (So tell me, tell me to my face that Chiaki is the girl that Nagito somehow hates, that he never cared for her beyond a romantic rival. Just tell me. And yes yes I know the mangas are secondary canon, but when like two or three of them show all these moments of Chiaki and Nagito supporting each other, come the fuck on. I stand by that it enriches our current canon.):

#danganronpa #chiaki nanami #nagito komaeda #komanami #hajime hinata #komahinanami #komahina #danganronpa 2 goodbye despair #come on fandom #get it together #these three love each other so much #thank you for the ask!#<3

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mlm-writer · 3 years

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Transformers Cuddle Headcanons

For Cuddle Up Day 2021.

Transformers Prime, Robots in Disguise 2015 and Rescue Bots

Cuddle Masterlist here

Blades (TFRB):

You are so tiny and when you snuggle into his helm he dies of cuteness

He never initiates it because he knows he could hurt you if he was a little to rough with you

When he has a holoform tho, hooo boy

He is full on all over you when he wants to cuddle

Boulder (TFRB):

He lets you sit between his shoulder and helm

Sometimes he cuddles you to his chest

He is so gentle there is no way you ever get hurt cuddling him

When he has a holoform he will give you super tight hugs because he finally does not need to be gentle and can hold you tight

He will fall in love with being a little spoon

Bumblebee (RID2015):

He is very experienced with dealing with humans and he loved it so much when he is lying down and a human snuggles his helm

He would be so excited to try cuddling when he has his holoform

He hyped it so much in his head that it was kinda disappointed irl

He would be like “and what do we do now?”

He surprises you in his holoform now and then to cuddle

Chase (TFRB):

Not a fan of cuddling

Not even when he is in his holoform

He would very methodically hug you in his holoform whenever you are upset, because he read that physical touch was essential when humans are stressed

Dr. Graham Burns (TFRB):

He is awkward during cuddle time, but only in the beginning

He has no idea what to do with his limbs all the time, so you have to tell him before he overthinks it

Awkward chuckles as you are finally in a comfortable po… no never mind one of you is moving again

Just cuddling on the couch is easier

He likes to cuddle, but is uncomfortable doing it with somebody around

Grimlock (RID2015):

Ngl you’re scared of this himbo crushing you

In his holoform he is unlikely to kill you tho

Grimlock loves to be hugged and petted and cuddled

He will ask you all the time

Sometimes he does not ask and just show up in his holoform and find a way to touch you without disturbing you in what you are doing

He is disturbing you and fine let’s cuddle

Heatwave (TFRB):

Holds you ever so gently to his frame when you’re upset

You have to do a lot of convincing before he agrees to cuddle in his holoform

He is shocked by how much he likes it

He is busy af tho, so you have to schedule cuddle sessions

It is ridiculous, but if you don’t something is bound to come up

But even if you schedule, sometimes duty just calls

Kade Burns (TFRB):

Only a post-coital cuddler

Not much up for it

Will still cuddle you if you’re upset or had a bad day

Puppy eyes will get you everything you desire

Knockout (TFP):

Ew touching a fleshy

He has a holoform, which he hates

He starts to like it more when you hug him from behind and wow that’s more affection in one second than he has had in eons

Makes time to cuddle a little, but he can’t stand it for super long

Megatron (TFP):

No time to cuddle… ok a little time to cuddle.

*couple of cuddle sessions later*

“Soundwave, can’t you see I’m busy?”

Soundwave, mentally: bitch you are in your holoform cuddling a human while we are preparing to kill all humans what the fuck

He likes you sitting in his lap the most

He does not care how tall you are, his holoform will be taller than you, because he is just like that and also he wants to be the big spoon

Optimus Prime (TFP):

He loves the idea of cuddling, but finds it too risky in bot mode

Holoform however, he loves to cuddle with you

He is very busy all the time, but when you do have time it is filled with cuddles and philosophical discussions

You also exchange stories about culture with each other

Predaking (TFP):

He is royalty and expects to be treated as su… he wants to be petted

Don’t touch him without his permission

If he trusts you, you can just climb all over him and he is cool

He prefers cuddling in his alt mode

His holoform is not even human, but a dinosaur/dragon

He wraps himself around you and makes you feel like the most valuable treasure in the universe

No talking, just cuddles

Well… you can talk, he likes listening to you and learning from you

Ratchet (TFP):

If you suggest cuddling him in bot mode he will give you a list of safety risks

He double checks if the holoform is even safe for you

Once he knows for sure, he is willing to cuddle

First time he checks up on you every minute, but he just does not have any experience with cuddling in holoforms

He does not admit how much he likes it

He will request it like “if you want to cuddle, I can clear some time in my schedule”

What he means is “hey I don’t wanna inconvenience you, but I’d really like to cuddle”

God forbid anyone sees him doing it though

Miko caught you guys and he hates it

Shockwave (TFP):

Would only cuddle you if he feels like he is in charge of your well-being

Would even initiate cuddling in that case because of the health benefits

He would make it a routine and just force you to cuddle when you’re not in the mood

“You may not like this right now, but my research has shown that physical touch will decrease your stress-hormone level, which in turns promotes vital functions of your fragile human body”

He means well

Sideswipe (RID2015):

He would be really weirded out by the idea of cuddling

Then he has you snuggling into his frame and he melts

It is the first thing he suggests you do when he has his holoform

Keeps talking during cuddling but it is nice to just sit down together and swap funny stories like that

He moves a little too much tho

Smokescreen (TFP):

He would LOVE the idea of cuddling

Ngl he injured you the first time you tried it in bot mode

Ratchet gave him quite the scolding

Then he got more careful

He talks a lot, but he also talks quietly for a change

Holoform him is still careful, until you play wrestle him and then you lie tangled up, just talking

He is always down

Soundwave (TFP):

You suggest it, he obliges, but finds it highly inefficient to cuddle in bot mode

His holoform does not speak either, but you don’t need him to

He is big spoon

You gotta give him instructions tho, he is a little confused

Wheeljack (TFP):

You suggest cuddling and he is like “yeah sure”

He is careful enough not to hurt you but it was c l o s e

He is just as good of a cuddler in his holoform

Generally not excited about it, but he does enjoy it

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fourangers · 3 years

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Hi Fourangers,

First of all, I love your blog so much. It's like going through a history back when Naruto Manga chapters were released weekly and your reviews were so Golden, Hilarious and spot-on. Am a new fan though (especially an SNS fan), I just got into this fandom only this year. I don't know if you'll answer my ask, but I just wanted to try and ask you few questions and I pray that you might answer me....

1. Since you've written in a post that you were active in the eastern part of the fandom, How was chapter 698 received in Japan? Because this is the chapter I inherently realized they both love each other. Yeah, I was too late but somehow whenever they interact with each other in previous chapters I always find them to be 'Weird' for just to be friends. Chapter 698 is just blatantly obvious that they love each other. Considering Homophobia and Shounen genre, I have no idea how it was perceived over there back then in 2014.

2. Which scene made you to ship SNS?

3. As an SNS'er how do you feel about the ending, where everyone was married off when they were just 19 just to make some shitty sequel??? As a new fan, I felt betrayed and It would've been perfect if they had stopped at chapter 699, leaving an open ending.

4. How do you face with the accusation about Naruto and Sasuke as brothers and we, SNS'ers are Incest shippers??? I don't care about that Indra and Ashura thing. But Naruto himself told he considers Sasuke as his Brother couple of times. And in Chapter 699, Sasuke acknowledged, 'He finally understood what it meant'.... It's the only thing that confuses me and I don't even have an answer!!! Plus, Kishi himself gave an interview that he based Sasuke on his Brother... I really wonder how he gave such an interview when he literally made them wear necklaces with each other's faces.

5. How was Naruto and Sasuke's sexuality perceived in the fandom back then??? Man!! Kishimoto just made lot of comic reliefs on their sexuality by making Sasuke on Sai jutsu, Naruto not interested in Icha Icha but making Reverse Harem no Jutsu, Naruto was angry when Konohamaru made Boy on Boy jutsu whereas he had no problem with him doing it. LOL. And all those homoerotic posters. What do you think about their sexuality, personally??

6. Why did Kishi had to develop their bond as Soulmates with some unintentional or intentional romantic undertones, if he was eventually going to pair them up with girls??? He easily could've gave many such romantic tropes to other girls and keep the bond between N and S as purely friendship or brothers. It still would've made sense.

7. Final one, Was Naruto really Nosebleeding when Kurama made a joke about Sasuke's kiss in Chapter 572???? We had a lot of heated discussion with other shippers where they claim that it was just a splotch of snot.

Sorry for the lengthy ask....... I am so eager to know your answers and I don't want to spam your ask box by sending multiple asks.

Thanks 😊😊😊

Hey yo! Welcome new SNS fan! I'm so glad that you joined us and I'll try to answer as best as I can. I'm not very active here on tumblr (except browsing lol) but your ask was such a delight to read.

1. I honestly don't remember. I think I didn't follow the japanese boards until the eventual 699-700 disaster. People were craving for reactions and I was curious about it too lol. And well...it's been years, I doubt I'll be able to find the reactions from that time. Imo, most readers don't care much about pairings, they just wanted to read about power-ups and abilities and the basic Naruto Vs Sasuke. Though there are some backhanded jokes about how gay Naruto is for Sasuke.

2. Hah. It's going to be very anti-climatic but it was when Naruto and Sakura were eating in Ichiraku Ramen. Naruto just used Rasenshuriken against Kakuzu and he busted his arm. Sakura was healing his arm and her attention was focused on Naruto. I used to be a NaruSaku shipper so I thought "Oh hey! This is the moment that Naruto would have a candid romantic moment!" But nope. He talked about Sasuke. And I was already getting suspicious about Sasuke's feelings towards Naruto ya know? And the whole "SASUKE IS MIINEEEEEE" in Orochimaru's lair. It was that moment I thought "you only have Sasuke in your head don't you, Naruto?" and started shipping SNS.

3. Hooo boy was I surprised when it was suddenly revealed that they had the basic heteronormative, boring marriage with bunch of clones of themselves. Everyone thought that it was almost like a bad fanfiction come true and some thought that it was fake. It was a pandemonium lolololol. I also thought that it was too lame to be true and lo and behold, when it came true I was floored. And then whenever Kishimoto threw new material, I got insanely pissed off because S*arada and B*ruto becoming pairing material is ok because they are a girl and a boy, and then they paralleled with Naruto and Sasuke which are only FRIENDS because they are both men. ARGH. Open ending was what Kishimoto planned from the very beginning but wrote a sequel to earn more money.

In that aspect, I made peace with it because of the whole anime/manga industry. I learned that, as a mangaka, you don't earn a lot of money with selling books, but rather with merchandise and profiting with sales right. And that guy have a family to raise, have two kids (which is hilarious about how B*ruto movie is his self-insert story), he needs a steady income. Also, I read reports about how anime studios are so poor and animators don't receive a decent income not to mention they are overstaffed and tired, and B*ruto is a good money cow for them to earn money so they can invest later on other anime they have more passion about it. So even though I hate this story with a strength of thousands suns, they are putting meal on people's tables and making them pay rents. I'm ok.

4. Lemme roll my eyes because in the Last movie they said that Hinata is related to Kaguya and so is the Uzumaki and Uchiha clan so they are all related woo hoo. But in the aspect of brothers because reincarnations bla bla bla, didn't Naruto himself said that he's no longer that brother, he's himself? Hmm...I gotta re-read it. One day. Maybe. lol. But I'm sure that he said "Sasuke is not my brother but I'm sure we'll understand well as friends" so there. Honestly, there are a lot of interviews out there and a lot of them are fake, so I'd always take the interviews with a grain of salt lololol. I do know from artbooks that Kishimoto wanted to create Sasuke as a rival-esque character and that was it. As he was developing Sasuke and Naruto's relationship, since he liked the whole yin-yang concept, whenever he wrote Naruto's story, Sasuke's was developed at the same time as his shadow.

5. I can tell from Naruto Forums (I used to participate back in that day) MOST of the non-shippers thought it was gay as hell, but you know...it was a relic of that time. While they thought it was gay, they didn't put too much thought about you know? Because it was shounen, and we knew that it was a joke that it couldn't be taken seriously. Of course, in the SNS fandom, we did make more analysis and there were a lot of instance when Naruto and Sasuke's sexuality was questioned. Some other non-shippers also thought that Naruto was totes gay for Sasuke (including a IRL friend).

Imo, Naruto is definitely bisexual in my view. Sasuke I think he's asexual or gay. He's attracted to Naruto, but mostly because of his connection to him, not because of his physical attributes, so yeah...asexual. Or Pansexual. Sasuke is more complicated lmao. Imo, Naruto could be pansexual too, come to think about it. Yeah, I guess both being pansexual can be valid.

6. He developed Naruto and Sasuke being soulmates from the very beginning, that was proven in his comments in artbooks and in the manga. He probably created with the intention of making it purely platonic, going beyond physical ties. Then he shot himself on the foot by drawing Naruto thinking about Sasuke on bed, talking about how Sasuke is cool, meanwhile Sasuke waxing poetic about how Naruto saved him. What gives? Lol. Yeah, I think he got too enamored writing their relationship that he didn't have time to write romantic ones. What I noticed that Sakura's popularity never was really high, so I could see some editors putting their fingers all over it and making her less relevant. Also, Kishimoto didn't know how to handle her, so when she got her time to shine was the whole fake confession disaster. Coupled with Kishimoto sexism and, in his words (Kurenai's flashback), women are useful to spout more babies, women was never really relevant in his story, unfortunately. Even Kaguya who was technically the big bad boss, was never really fleshed out in comparison to Madara. So the null het romantic moments it's not because he wanted to elevate SNS moments, it's more about how he's incompetent about it. It's either Hinata slowly elevating to a relevant status because forced interaction (Pain's sacrifice and Neji's death) or Sakura being obligated to be pining over Sasuke because she's a girl. It's even more painful to see that, if we ignore B*ruto, both girls are shown to be just talking with their kids and dusting shelves, basically being housewives, even though thorough the story (especially Sakura) it was implied that both of them have much more potential than being their husband accessories.

7. It was a splotch of snot. I can confirm myself lol. Whenever the chapter is out and fans would scan it to scanlate it, the editor usually would amp up contrast to max. So usually the lines get much more thicker than usual, when you read the official release which gets straight from the source, you can notice how the lines are more delicate.

Oh lol...but then we also have a lot of controversy about translating style. THAT one is a whole new can of worms to open.

Man I had fun answering your questions! Please send more :P

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catboygretzky · 4 years

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to answer this anon!!!!!!

OKAY a list of each reason i think [insert team] should win/why they look like contenders -

STARTING WITH ROUND ROBIN (THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY VERY LONG):

boston: reasons they’re contenders - bc they’re good. reason they should win - N/A bc i hate them.

tampa bay: kinda those ‘i never really think about you but apparently you’re good?’ teams. i think it would be WILD if a florida team won idk i can’t say i want them too but it would be kinda quirky if they did. also they have to stay in hotel x and like? the spite from that may just mean they’re contenders

wsh: see boston.

flyers: contenders because they were on a madcore streak, tho obviously that was months ago. a lot of young talent, mayhaps not a great deal of experience which may have an effect on how well they do. a lot of emotion behind their game, especially with the whole ‘oskar strong’ business (see dupuis, c 2016). also i love them and want giroux to win a cup.

blues: see boston and wsh.

avs: contenders because they have a LOT of talent. i think nate mac is one of the best forwards in the league (nate for hart 2k20) but he’s not their ONLY talent, which is important. again, not a great deal of playoff experience but only so many teams and players DO have that. (but, then again they have multiple cup winners on their team, after all) also i love them.

vgk: i’ll be honest. i feel nothing re: vegas. like, i have no desire to watch their games but i do appreciate how extra and flashy they are and i would kill for flower BUT the fact that they ALMOST won already and haven’t been around long is pretty swaggy and i think that would be cool. also i want flower to have another cup.

dallas: well, i love them and want old man pavs to get a cup. i think their defensive game is SUPER strong and they have two good goalies, which will help with teams that rely on offense. they also have a great deal to prove, and that can really help a team win.

QUALIFYING NOW (I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD BE LONG):

pens: ok i’m not even saying this as a pens fucker, but i think if i had to choose a team to win RIGHT NOW it would probably be pittsburgh. obviously, we don’t truly know, but bc these playoffs are fucking strange, the incredible amount of playoff experience will REALLY come in to play. guentz is back as well, and he’s known for fucking it up madcore in the playoffs. they also have a LOT of depth. ALSO I WANT OLD MAN PATTY MARLEAU TO HAVE A CUP MORE THAN ANYONE IS THAT SO WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE NARRATIVE!!!!!!!!!!! AND I WANT SID TO HAVE MORE CUPS THAN PK*NE!!!!!

canes: again, i love them and therefore that’s the only reason i need. they’re fun and quirky and they give off good vibes. they have a LOT of talent as well, and while a lot of their talent is quite young their captain is already a cup winner (also i want jordy to win another cup).

isles: they’re.......well they’re average and i don’t REALLY want them to win but i want ebs to have a cup bc it’s what he deserves. also mat barzal’s nostrils deserve a cup. but mostly ebs.

leafs: ok i would like to preface this with ‘it would be very sad if the cup the leafs won was a fucked up one like this’. they have a LOT of talent, obviously, but they really need to get it together fdsjkgh they rely on offense WAY too much, their defense/penalty kill is - well. i don’t want to be rude, but they need to work on that. a lot. i LIKE the leafs, i do!!!!! but there’s a reason they don’t get past the first round, and it’s bc they haven’t shown the GRIT that’s needed for the playoffs. i do wish them the best tho. do it for steve dangle’s new baby!!!!!!

blue jackets: another team i never think about like, ever, unless they’re playing my teams. they don’t.....idk they don’t stick out to me at all but zach werenski has a mullet now so there’s a reason.

panthers: like tampa, a florida team winning would be sexy bc florida needs the serotonin right now. they should win bc they meow to each other sometimes. is there any other reason than that?

rangers: see boston, blues, and caps, minus the part about them being good. BUT! i do love a bit of mika and would be pleased for hank obviously, he’s the king u feel.

habs: ok carey price is my dad and they should win just for him. also the narrative of ‘they sucked so bad but still managed to get into the playoffs’ is kinda fun. i can’t say they’re contenders, but must reaffirm that i love carey price.

oilers: hooo boy. again, i do like the oilers. i want davo to get a cup, i would kill for ethan bear, yamamoto, and ryan nugent hopkins. i think they have a LOT of talent, but like the leafs.....defense, man, defense. they rely on mcdavid and draisaitl and that won’t cut it for the playoffs. AGAIN, I WOULD BE HAPPY IF THEY WON.

preds: i would never go out of my way to root for the preds, but the fans seem to have a fun time ya know? the fans have a fan time and therefore they should be able to have a fun time. they’re...they’re not BAD, but i wouldn’t say ‘PREDS WILL WIN’. they have a lot of fight in them, tho

canucks: again, i love them and isn’t that enough? they have a LOT of (young) talent (ie petey, brock, huggy, etc), and while that’s going to be great for the future, there is the possibility that the lack of playoff experience can be a hindrance. tho a lot of their young talent went to uni, so they have experience in THAT regard. DO IT FOR GUNNAR AND GUS HORVAT AND BROCK’S HAIR.

flames: my feelings in regards to the flames can be summed up by saying ‘i only care about them when they go feral v the oilers’. B U T i love johnny hockey and think he and ratty matty’s handshake is cute. also i have a soft spot for matty, but not big enough that i’d root for them.

jets: god, i truly just do not care about them at all. i tried, but i simply couldn’t do it. there are certain players i like, though! and would be pleased if they won a cup! but i simply feel nothing. i appreciate their morals, though!

wild: another team i simply........never think about. they’re not super good and i have no reason to want them to win, but maybe that’s a good reason for them to win! my apathy! i do love a staal, tho

yotes: see rangers. i hate them and they suck.

hawks: see rangers and yotes. they shouldn’t even be in the playoffs i stg.

#long post #alex ramos #scp20 #my long rambling rant lmao

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devizakura · 4 years

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How about some classic 🚂 and 🎶?

Okay you KNOW I'm gonna ramble abajekwkdm

Skimbleshanks

1. How much I like this character

*All the selfship art spills out of my pockets* I like him a normal amount.

2. Who I ship this character with

Me. Ok no... I mean, it's true, but if I have to choose a canon one... My goodness, this is hard. I love seeing him and Gus Jr in the film but some fan content makes me feel a bit confused about whether I like it as a ship or if it makes me slightly jealous bc of selfship reasons (though it's far from the levels of uncomfortable the ship makes me. You know the one), I think I prefer them as a BROTP, same with Bomba, seeing them interact makes me THRIVE but idk how to feel about it as a ship... One thing I genuinely like is Tuggershanks but this one is VERY MUCH A GUILTY PLEASURE, like a "frenemies with benefits" situation rather than a legit ship... I guess I gotta be lame and go with my Lilyshanks in the end, lol.

3. My favorite AU for him

Me and my selfship buddies (mainly thanks to @arrowparker who made fantastic moodboards for us all) actually brainstormed a Lilyshanks Royal AU where Lily is a princess and Skimble is the royal stableman and they fall in love. When they're found out, Lily is disowned by the royal family but they just run off together and happily tend to horses for the rest of their life. I think it's neat how every AU I make ends up with Lily losing her high status and abandoning the rigid lifestyle (in the regular universe, her rich owner dies, in the human AU she's an entrepeneur whose company goes bankrupt) to end up finding joy and love in the simpler things. 👉👈

4. A random headcanon I have for him

HOOO BOY, I should post my list of headcanons of him someday. But here's some of my fave ones:

his human-given name is Edgar. Other cats never refer to him as that (except in the old Paris production because, well... it's his name in that one, lol) even when quoting humans in his song because it's impolite and even downright insulting to refer to each other by a name other than the one the jellicle in question prefers - whether it's a human-given or jellicle name is up to them and sometimes (though not always) correlates with whether they were born a stray or a housecat/adopted before being jellicle-named.

has pretty bad short-term memory. It's not exactly that he's forgetful, he's just... very hectic. A lot is happening in his brain all the time so while he remembers things like an anniversary date and interesting trivia and whatnot, he's the type who'd forget he left something cooking on the stove after he ran off to do something else, only to come back an hour later to the kitchen being on fire.

has an extremely sensitive midriff (and to a lesser extent neck). Aside from fashion reasons, he wears his vest to protect it from any tickle attacks and unwanted touch, and only ever takes it off around someone he trusts (my Skimble was initially based on the Broadway revival one who has the vest on throughout the whole musical).

Jellylorum

1. How much I like this character

I will defend her until my last breath.

2. Who I ship this character with

I have no strong opinions! But Jennylorum is p nice. Could be cool as a romantic thing, DEFINITELY see them as a queerplatonic relationship if not romantic.

3. My favorite AU for her

I'm afraid I don't have one.

4. A random headcanon I have for her

The most random thing I have is probably her being Cettie's mom. It kinda just came to me once.

She's also the best listener! While Jenny has a very "LET'S SOLVE THIS PROBLEM! :D" attitude, Jelly will listen to you and offer you emotional support if you need it.

#cats the musical #skimbleshanks #lilyshanks #jellylorum #ask

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thedarkmoonlight · 4 years

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I want to get headcanons on what La Squadra does when the pickle jar is stuck and nobody's around to help

Struggling with a pickle jar

Risotto: I'm going to be honest here, Seeing this mountain of a man that is Risotto Nero struggling with a pickle jar... 10/10 best sight ever

Risotto keeps his cool and tries to open the jar like a reasonable adult - wrap the lid in a dish towel and run the lid under hot water, maybe even use the Metallica beans to help him - and if that don't work? Brute force.

Aka: Risotto squeezes the jar between his tits and turns it - and the pickles - into dust with the sheer force of his massive boobs

Impressive, but no pickles for you, Risotto

Prosciutto: Another one who would try to open the jar like a normal, reasonable adult - and again, fails miserably - but it's ok, he manages to keep his cool, it's just a pickle jar

Buuut, knowing that Prosciutto is significantly less patient than Risotto, it wouldn't take long for him lose his shit and - with all graciousness - 𝓎 ℯ ℯ 𝓉 the jar against the wall

Now both the wall and floor are stinking of pickle water and the pickles are all over the floor covered with shattered glass

Congratulations, dumb whore

Pesci: My boy Pesci first instinct is to ask Prosciutto for help - Welp, sorry Pesci, you're by your own this time - So, like Risotto, he uses brute force

Spends 10 whole minutes twisting the lid from side to side with no success, did he teared up from frustration? ... maybe-

Eventually gets pissed and uses beach boy to open the jar, and he succeeds!

Probably the only one who could properly enjoy his pickles, congratulations Pesci c:

Formaggio: Look, this man has exactly 1 braincell and his first thought is: "I will shrink the jar and the pickles will burst out of it, I'm a genius"

No he's not. The whole thing - including the pickles - shrinks down.

But, no worries, he'll just return it to it's normal size and try open the jar in other way... Right?

Basically, the jar returned to it's normal size, but the pickles didn't - and if that's not enough, he still failed in opening the jar - Damn, it really isn't Formaggio's day, is it?

He just... gave up and didn't got to eat his - mini - pickles. F

Illuso: This dude, This individual right here

What can I say? He doesn't even tries! Well... At least he has the decency to try and act like Risotto and Prosciutto, he's a grown ass man for God's sake - Actually, he's being a childish piece of fuck but yeah -

But he refuses to waste more than 3 minutes of his PRECIOUS time to try and open a pickle jar...

1 hour later, he refuses to believe that he can't open a single pickle jar and tries again

Guess what? He fails again and gives up for good, Such a weakling

Melone: Another one who refuses to waste more time than necessary trying to open the jar - Very much like Illuso honestly, but, with more patience and less whining -

My dude here would try at least 15 different manners to open the jar, like... Really, if knowing multiple manners of opening a pickle jar were a Mafia requirement, Melone would be on a waaay higher position

But since no one - except pesci - is capable of opening a pickle jar, you all know what's going to happen

Yeah- he fails, but unlike illuso, he doesn't gets pissy not comes back later to regain his pride

He just, accepts the jar as it is

Ghiaccio: Hooo boy, that's a nice one

Ghiaccio wrestles the pickle jar with the fury of 30 hungry bears, really, he's *demolishing* this little bitch

If you're trying to tell me this fucker wouldn't immediately try to force the jar open with all force he can muster, you're W R O N G

Probably didn't even wanted the pickles anymore, he just wants to show that jar who's the fucking boss around here

The extreme assault to the poor jar ends up as quickly as it begun - when he 𝓎 ℯ ℯ 𝓉 ℯ 𝒹 the jar on the floor like foot ball with a furious screech - only to grumble and spit insults at the jar when he sees the mess that he made

He eats the pickles off the floor to assert dominance over it

#la squadra #risotto nero #prosciutto #pesci #formaggio #illuso #melone #ghiaccio

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ichorshrooms · 3 years

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hello!!! tell me about ur ocs!!! who are they?? what do they look like?? do they have anything quirky about ‘em??

hOOO BOY OK I HAVE A LOT OF THEM. no joke i probably have like 30 characters. maybe more! most likely more! i have never counted! i have... a Lot. i’m gonna try to tell you about as many as i can before i start to lose all hope. the things you asked are actually a good short list of intro questions so.

On to the characters! (Ooh, grammar and syntax! Joy! I’m getting serious now askjlfjklsa)

Israfil Bashir | Israfil is a man of science! He’s a recently out gay man in his 40s who has a lot of baggage about his father. He’s the head of a company that researches advancements in prosthesis -- something he has been passionate about since the loss of his left leg in a near-fatal wreck. He’s active -- a little less so since he developed chronic fatigue, but he still tries to get out there and bike regularly! And he has a child named Misha who he loves and cherishes! Israfil is of Pakistani and Indian descent. He has neatly-cropped dark hair, beautiful honey brown eyes, and he usually wears his beard in a short goatee (he feels like he looks too young if he shaves it off, and he’s sensitive about it). His skintone is light brown with a warm undertone.

His face is fairly angular, his body lean and immaculately toned (for the most part). He has a hooked nose with a slight deviation from a decades-old break that wasn’t set quite right. As I said before, he lost his left leg in an accident, so he wears a prosthetic! His prosthetic is not patterned or matched to his skin. It’s the color of the metal that was used to make it.

His... quirk... hmm... oh right, he’s telepathic. I almost told you about the secret lab under his prosthesis research facility that has developed identical-to-human sentient machines! Phew, that was close! I almost spilled the beans!

Misha Bashir | Misha is Israfil Bashir’s child! They’re just a couple of years old, but they’ve been given the intelligence of a very, very smart teenager -- and the body of one too! They’re a living, breathing machine. They’re also extremely naive and curious, as most new-ish androids tend to be. It’s not often that they leave the safety of their home, as Israfil has developed a pattern of strictness due to his fear that the government will disappear Misha from the streets and do experiments on them.

Misha is extremely lifelike. They’re modeled in part after their creator/father Israfil, but some... design cues... have been taken from a certain CSO of a rival R&D company who Israfil may have an on-and-off non-romance with. Misha inherited their skin tone, the shape of their eyes and their mouth from Israfil. The rest, though... Misha has bright white hair, blue-green eyes, an aquiline nose and -- perhaps most peculiarly -- a very slight Russian accent.

I think Misha’s existence as a sort of pseudo-lovechild of two embittered ex lovers counts as a quirk. That weird shit aside, though, they’re a robot! That’s pretty quirky! Oh and they may or may not be part of a research program that endeavors to find out if it is possible to teach a machine to read minds. And they’re nonebinery... they dont have any binery... thats ise so cool.........

Eleanor Louise French | Eleanor is a 15 year old witch who just loves to make it known that her middle name is Louise. It’s one of her most favorite things about herself. At the tender age of 14, she set out on her own (as all young witches do) to do some independent study and learn the ways of the world.

She is very gay, very short and very smart. Her hot-headed temper lands her in a metric fuckton of trouble on a daily basis, but she manages to escape dire consequences most of the time! She is narcoleptic, frog-obsessed (like all gays are) and is all about that baby-pink-and-blue aesthetic. She has some serious trauma from a werewolf attack, so wolves and ghouls and other “scary” magical creatures are not typically welcome in her alchemy shop. She will serve them, but it is very draining for her -- just as all trauma is. Spoiler alert: she eventually recovers, but that’s like! the main thing in her story! so! it takes time for her to get there.

She is fair-skinned with a cool undertone. Her hair is light blonde and straight as a board (which she claims is completely natural, but sometimes she forgets to drag a brush through her hair in the morning and it gets all frizzy and wavy hMMM CURIOUS). She has a grecian nose, a round baby face and bright blue eyes. Her scowl is so powerful it’s enough to strike the fear of god in... idk a lumberjack or something. Her fashion sense is a bit... conservative. She’s a little insecure and likes to cover up. Being a teenager kind of sucks sometimes!

Her Big Quirk (TM) is her ability to effortlessly turn people into frogs. She does it when she’s annoyed, and she has a frog collection. If you are bad enough, she will literally keep you in a terrarium until she decides you’ve learned your lesson. She has a couple of forever frogs and the reason is because they’re bad people (and decent frogs).

I have a lot more characters, but this is already quite long and I don’t want to write a profile for literally every character ‘cause then you’d be like “dude what the fuck.” I have demons, angels, superpowered villains in varying degrees of villainy, a ballet dancer, a park ranger, a televangelist, a fashion designer, an immortal who has seen the horrors of war, a haunted pianist, triplet thieves, princes, a princess, an embittered king, monsters of all sorts and a billion more types of characters that I honestly cannot think of off the top of my head. There is a massive list to get through! And that’s not counting some of my one-off projects involving characters I haven’t roleplayed with! You should see the state of my google docs. I have 50+ projects I’m currently working on.

I have too many characters. If you’re curious about anything on the list, I will elaborate!

#i mADE IT THROUGH THREE AND WAS LIKE ''holy fuck this is a lot''#i am really sorry for saying so much FKJAKSLFJSAKL #tammie-brown

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rum-and-shattered-dreams · 4 years

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Rewatching Tangled: the series since it’s been on my mind a lot lately and hooo boy, no wonder. Seriously relatable things there. Wanting freedom, to travel, that “there’s more of me to give” and seriously the bare feet thing. I feel that in my sole... ;). Ok sorry, dumb pun. (But seriously I hate wearing shoes). Anyway, it’s cool that when I’m watching the older episodes I can really see where the characters have grown since. Good job, writers. Seriously. Very consistent and steady development, there.

#just things #random fun update #i also just need a distraction from the pure hell that has been the past few months #i might write something about that at some point #once ive actually processed it all

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slowbladed · 5 years

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here it is folks. my kh3 review/rant/thing

im gonna disclaimer and say that i try my damnest not to compare games to another, but in this case I am (at least SE made titles) because for as cool KH3 was I felt it took a few steps back.

First off, I enjoyed the game. It is not my favorite game for miles, and not my favorite KH game (Re:CoM), but I had fun with it.

The environments were amazing, I had fun looking through them and just taking in the scenery. I had some fears of KH3′s models looking weird but they did a pretty good job (sometimes it does look like clay though). The enemy designs were clever, and I love how the Nobodies look weird. Though the Unverse were not too good design wise. Bosses were ok,. However the ending boss fights was.. underwhelming.

I understand expectations tend to be different than what is given, but in this case my expectations for the boss fight was shattered then stepped on. Should have I expected each Organization member to have a cool transformation sequence? No, but for characters like Xemnas? Ansem? YX? Marluxia? Maybe. For Xehanort himself? Yes, I think I am just to think so. And I think Xehanort’s boss fight was underwhelming and frankly I was very disappointed in it. In fact, I thought we were going to have four forms, one the multiple armor battle (which I thought was cool), the normal armor battle, then Xehanort turns into some dragon or whatever, then a good on head to head battle. Well. No turning into some monster. Ok, thats fine, as long as his ending battle has some cool movesets and stuff you have to get out of based on all the Org13 members that would be coo- oh I’ll just go rage form I guess. It wasn’t hard. It wasn’t even that fun. I think I tuned out as soon as I went to the underwater section. Keep in mind, I went into this thinking that Nomura was going to crash my PS4 with the amount of big he was going to make Xehanort. I mean, Ansem turned into a ship, Xemnas turned into a LITERAL DRAGON which you fight THEN you fight his armor formed merged with the dragon AND you run to him getting buildings tossed to you AND you-- well you get the point. On a purely gameplay point? Come on. Even Marluxia had a cooler boss. I mean, even BBS had a bigger build up to Xehanort which was literally fighting Xehanort THEN YOURSELF??? IN TERRA’S STORY?? but KH3 just.. was that. i guess.

Which brings to... HOOO the story. A few parts they did good. Those parts? Sea salt Trio. Thats IT. FUCK wayfinder trio, FUCK the organization, FUCK everything. There was NO build up to the new organization. I was expecting to fight them in these worlds, as you do in KH2 to build up the hype and make you think WOW these guys mean something! but instead we are all thrown a boss rush and for PLOT reasons I GUESS but at the same time it felt so.. bland. There were no stakes! You fight Vanitas ONCE and then he goes “ok im out” to fight later. Which would have been a cool build up if they did that with the other members but instead we see them once? They say something weird? Ok bye??? I’ll fight your Nobodies now???? I guess I’m racing Luxord now??? eeehhhhhhhhhh??? Overall the story felt so disjointed. I mean in KH1 it made sense you tried to protect the princesses of light, they came back later for the story. It made sense you went and beat up the Org in KH2, they were trying to bring people to darkness. But in KH3 it felt like they were just there to be there? Ok we are getting the power of waking OH it doesn’t matter anymore I’m just going to go to the realm of darkness anyway. And yes, I know that disney worlds tend not to be the biggest points in the series but in BBS? Hell I never would have thought to ship Cinderella/Aqua but you know what Nomura did it. And he did it Well. There was no build up to the final boss, there was nothing that connected everyone together, it felt like everything was there to be there. What happened to Demyx? What about that data twilight town? Some things were NEVER brought up ever again! If you’re not going to bring it up or have an overall meaning to the story then DON’T PUT IT IN YOUR STORY. I feel like if they just cut out explaining a bunch of stuff that was already established in past games then the game would have been better. And, yes its FF14 YES I KNOW, but FF14 does a better job in explaining past events that happen via just mention or actual dramatic sequences that has bearing with the plot.

Characters? Vexen had the most character development in that entire game. Hands down. I mean, I really don’t know what else to say. I felt like Sora took a few back in what was already established in previous games. I mean, you go from Sora screaming and yelling at Xemnas for lying to Org13 for lying to them about having no hearts then you turn around and call Marluxia a has-been? We spent an entire game, the entire KH2, talking about how Nobodies just wanted their hearts back, how they wanted to be whole, how they wanted to BE SOMEONE, you slam that nail in the coffin shut with DDD, then you make Sora turn around and say “well you work for xehanort even though you probably are being forced haha!!” YIKES! It kind of made their deaths a little disjointed? You go from Sora not caring or even trying to reach out to these Nobodies to ‘so those emotions huh?’ I’m not even going to get into Kairi being just a damsel in distress, or Namine coming in for .2 seconds at the end.. but man... you done did it.

Gameplay? uhhh hhhgeeeh ghgughghghgg. it was fun? I felt overwhelmed with all the stuff happening though. You put everything from previous games into one and... it worked out but it didn’t? I don’t know. I think its fun but it wasn’t hard. There was no real tactics in it. It really became a press X to win game. Ariel Recovery and defend are busted which makes me REALLY salty but hhh . Overall it was ok, I think KH1 still is the best with battle mechanics, but that’s just me (please bring Goofy’s old stats I’m begging you SE).

Can I say I’m happy with some of the plot? Sure. I guess. I’m glad Xemnas had his moment. I’m glad Marluxia had his. Same with RepliRiku. I’m happy marlar became canon bay bee. But uh, as far as Vanitas goes? mmmmmmmm yeah.... not... really. As far as Xehanort being a good guy all along? I can’t really say what I feel about that. I’m conflicted. If nomura was going for that, good on him.

overall? 7/10, maybe 6.5/10. Not my game of the year but hey, it was fun.

#kh3 spoilers #ooc #since ive had time to sit on it and think about it

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queenofthehighway15-blog · 5 years

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life update

i was talking to this kid and then we stopped which i’m kind of glad about because he wasn’t good for me. i was constantly insecure when i was around him but any hooo

i went to a fair yesterday and this other cute boy was flirting with me and we’re going to hangout over spring break and probably go to a party whoop whoop

then i’m hooking up w this kid tomorrow (ik so much hoeing around)

but i’ve been purging so much lately but i’ve also been doing pretty well. i haven’t been eating as much, yesterday all i had was oatmeal, like two chicken tenders and maybe like 15-20 friends and half of a pepsi bc they didn’t have any water

everyone’s been telling me i’ve been looking very slim lately i have 3 reactions:

1.) omg thank u heheh

2.) theyre just saying that bc i’m fat and want me to feel better about myself

*even when i was chubby people called me skinny like lol ok i was 170

3.) i need to be thinner

i planned out what i ideally want to eat tomorrow and i’m super pumped :) it’s like 770 calories which is cool i really need to go hard bc summers just around the corner

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theabominableblogger · 6 years

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Rewatching “Gotham” S3E14

On this blog, we stan one kickass butler. And how much he loves his boy

As said before, the rest of these reaction posts I’ll be uploading are not chronological order. They’re like that because A) college and B) more college.

My sister watched it with me (as well as the other episodes left in my epic “Gotham” reaction series) so my comments will be in bold, and hers will be in regular font. Author’s notes courtesy of me will be bolded and italicized.

AN: I managed to record our reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post.

*gasps as a grenade gets thrown into the precinct*

Jesus God!

Ohhhhh my gosh!

*both freak out over the opening titles*

Molotov cocktails- bet you can’t have just one.

Meanwhile Jeremiah’s like “Eh. Bazooka.” *chuckles*

You are walking straight into a trap, Oswald.

*Ed walks in* I bet you’re wondering why I’ve brought you all here today...

Oswald has like freaking umbrella cufflinks, did you notice that?

*chuckles*

“Oh, you [Ed] escaped.” Nooo....

*jaw drops as Ed shoots Oswald’s men*

*shook*

“Just wondering if I [Ed] was gonna have to reload.” Jesus God.

“...what’s happening...” ‘What’s happening?’ He’s been playing you for a sap!

...Like the cheap kazoo you are.

*starts pretending to play “Amazing Grace” on the kazoo*

*claps hands for each word* JUSTICE FOR ISABELLA, I swear!

*claps hands* Yes!

“Isabella was my everything, and you [Oswald] took her from me.” [Ed] YOU MET HER [Isabella] LIKE A DAY AGO!

*laughs* You met her in like a span of a day!

*claps hands* She still deserves better!

I know! I still think she’s a useless character though.

I don’t care! She deserved better!

“You [Oswald] still have your life. But that ends tonight!” *starts singing “Tonight” from “West Side Story” without trying to giggle*

*chuckles* You weren’t kidding about the random songs.

Seriously, I do it all the time!

Court of Owls!

The only thing I will never find plausible about the Court of Owls is this idea of “Oh, they’ve been ruling over Gotham from the shadows this whole time,” bullshit.

*both do rising spooky hands*

OK though, I don’t know her name, they don’t give her a name, but she’s like the best. You see her in previous episodes, she’s like the secretary. Girl, you rule!

*puts hands together* Well, I’m gonna give her a name. Because in the 66 series, Gordon’s secretary is named Bonnie.

Bonnie! Ooh, I like that name.

You never actually see Bonnie, you just hear her on the intercom.

“Meanwhile, Cobblepot’s MIA. You call down to City Hall, and literally no one’s in charge. Although that might actually be good news.” *both laugh*

*giggles* They capitalized “dumpster” on the [close captioning on Netflix]

*waves hands in air in imaginary rainbow* DUMPster!

“He’s [Jerome] not one to miss out on the fun, so what does he want?” “A puppy?!?” *laughs*

“[Oswald] You saw a man that I [Ed] met in Indian Hill that does killer impersonations [Clayface].” *both end up nodding in agreement*

That’s one way to put it.

I mean, yeah...

“GHOSTS AREN’T REAL!” Pfft!

“But my father’s remains... you stole them from his grave?” WHAT NAH WHAT?!?

When did that happen?

I don’t know....

“I [Ed] gently placed his [Elijahs’] remains inside a dumpster behind a Chinese restaurant.” Oh that’s just mean!

That’s awfuuulll!

That’s meeeaannn!

“You were angry. I [Oswald] understand. I even forgive you.” I love how Ed’s like “Son of a bitch...” and he adjusts his glasses before he turns back.

“So you [Oswald] admit you killed Isabella?” “Fine. Is that what you want?” “Yes.” *groans in frustration*

“You [Ed] should thank me [Oswald] because we both know what would have happened if I hadn’t!” *bug eyes in alarm*

WHAAAATTT?!?

“I [Ed] could have lived a life with the woman I loved!” *both clap hands and aggressively point fingers at screen in agreement*

See see see see?!? Yes! God! Thank you!

“No, Ed. You would have killed her!” *leans back* NOOOOOOOOO!!!

“Just like you did the other one!” NOOOOOO!!!

Justice for Kristen Kringle too because I’m still pissed about that.

Yeah, I know, I know! Yeah, I hated what happened to her.

“I did it for love.” “What?!?” What?

“I did it because I love you.” *laughs in frustration*

“Love is about sacrifice! It’s about putting someone else’s needs before your own!” *splays hand towards screen in agreement*

“'Cause the truth is, Oswald, you would sacrifice anyone to save your own neck.” *silently nods in agreement*

“Even me.” Uh Ed, you’d do it too. *laughs*

I was gonna say, how does the guy who literally strangled his last girlfriend to death know more about love than [Oswald]?!?

“Now, if you'll look above us, you will see a cauldron of highly corrosive acid, which is currently being held in place by this chain. When the ice melts, the chain comes loose, the vat of acid tips... you get the idea.” This is such a Batman 66 trap.

I was gonna say Professor Ratigan but that works too.

*in unison* Snap! Boom! Twang! Thunk! Splat!

I mean, if you look really closely at the 66 Riddler, dude was like freaking Jigsaw.

He wasn’t in a wheelchair though.

*in best Jigsaw voice* Hello, Oswald.

Suck a dick, Oswald, Though not his dick- you might get mange.

*buries face in elbow* OH MY GODDDDDD!!

I’m surprised too.

OH MY GOODDDDDDD!!

“I mentioned that you [Jim] killed my husband on our wedding night,and he [Jerome] thought that was hilarious, so that’s something the two of you can bond over when you find him.” Lee’s just amazing.

LEEEEEEE!!!

Lee deserves better.

Though later, Lee’s like “Mmm, I’m still like extremely angry about this. Tetch Virus!” and I’m like “WHY?!?!?!?”

Tetch Virus AKA Dumb Plot Device.

Dull!

“I’ll’’ [Alfred] nip downstairs and see if there’s any life left in that old generator.” Does he have like no other- did the Waynes have any other staff besides Alfred?

I don’t know...

I’ve always wondered that.

I don’t know. They never really bring it up.

“Alfred....” Don’t do it!

*both freak out when Alfred gets jumped by cult followers*

Ohhhh shit!

*Jerome walks in, pretending to be a ghost* Pfffttt...

Seriously like, where did he get that outfit?

It’s a straitjacket! He nicked it out of Arkham, I’m sure.

Or it’s like “Oh I’m sorry, gotta find my old friend Bruce. Oh SYKE! Outfit change!”

He’s extra enough to do that.

The Valeska twins are just extra to the core. They’re from the circus, they’re judgy.

*chuckles* It comes with the territory.

“Teenagers, am I [Jerome] right?” You are one!

If I recall, he’s like a couple years older than Bruce.

*shakes head*

I would say he’s about [my sister’s] age.

Ohhh OK.

*The owl statue doesn’t break when Jerome drops it* It stuck!

*groans in frustration when Jerome ends up breaking the owl statue*

“Right. Sorry. The old noodle’s still a little al dente post-thaw.” *laughs* Al dente? Is that a pasta?

Don’t know.... I mean, I imagine, waking up from the dead, your brain would feel a little bit like spaghetti.

AN: Yeah, al dente describes pasta or rice that’s supposed to firm when you eat it.

“It’s been nagging at me since I [Jerome] woke up. The idea of slitting that pretty, pink throat of yours...” Don’t ever refer to Bruce as pretty pink anything.

*imitates the way Jerome twirls his knife in the air before pointing it at Bruce*

“And you’re [Jerome] just going to kill me here? That’s kinda disappointing.” You have got balls of steel, Bruce.

*mouths along with Jerome as he says “Flair? Hmmm? Style? Panache?!?”*

He’s like Alex from “A Clockwork Orange”

“I’m Bruce Wayne.” “I’m aware.” *both wheeze in laughter*

“My [Bruce’s] company is the machine that keeps the cogs of Gotham running.” OH MY GOD, you badass!

“You’re saying I [Jerome] need an audience?” Took you long enough to get it!

*tries not to laugh when Jerome suddenly dips into a British accent in front of Alfred*

“I [Bruce] will see you [Alfred] again.” *pats chest* God, I love their relationship in this shoooow!

That was like straight out of “Arkham Origins,” I swear...

I know....

*Oswald still tries to get out of Ed’s trap* Couldn’t you just like slide up though? Just shimmy up?

He can’t go far...

“I happen to be the mayor of Gotham...” *ends up cracking up at the delivery of that line*

“What did you do?” *scoffs in hilarity*

*Oswald gets out of the trap just in time* SHIIIT!!

OH IT ATE STRAIGHT THROUGH THE CAR.

*Jerome’s followers trash the manor in front of Alfred* Damn!

“And how ‘bout you, Mr. Machete? Come on in, sunshine. Don’t be shy. Your mother wasn’t. Chop-chop.” *BOTH JAWS DROP IN SHOCK*

*ends up wheezing*

DAAAAAMMMNNNN!!

GOOOO ALFRED!!!

YEESSSSSS!!!

WHERE THE HELL DID YOU [Jim] COME FROM?!?

He snuck in! That’s why Alfred was saying all that stuff. He was letting Jim know where everybody was.

Ohhhhhhh.... OK.

*on verge of losing voice* HE [Alfred] JUST STABBED HIM [the follower] WITH A MACHETE!

HOLY SHIT!

*reels back* OH ALFRED, YOU BADASS!

Holy shit!

OH MY GOD!

That was awesome!

Oh my God!

*Bruce arrives at the cult circus* Amusement Mile... I swear this is Amusement Mile..

I think so. It’s one of the few permanent landmarks Gotham has across incarnations.

*ends up wincing at half of the games the cult plays*

This is like a mix between “The Purge” and “Hell Fest”

Oh God.

That’s literally what this is.

“What do you say, Bruce? Wanna have some fun before the main event?” That’s a cool shot [of Jerome].

Hooo hooo...

*dives across room to put on hat for rest of episode*

Alfred’s like “I don’t care, I’m not police, I’m goin’ in!”

Oh my God...

Yess! Like the badass you are, Alfred!

*winces when Jerome stabs a follower beside him*

*both groan in horror when Jerome uses the blood to paint a frown on Bruce’s face*

*freezes when Tabitha snags her whip around Oswald’s neck*

Oh shit!

“Now, where’s Nygma?” “I [Oswald] don’t know.” If he’d knew, he’d murder his ass.

“[Butch] Stop pretending that you are anything but muscle! Yes, you used to be someone in Gotham, but those days are in the past!” You stop pretending that you have any pull in this situation, Oswald. You’re the one who has a whip around your neck!

“Remember when I [Tabitha] put a knife in your mom’s back?” Oh yeah, she’s the one that killed the mom. And it SUCKED!

“You [Oswald] never did anything about it.” *cups hands with mouth* S4 finale!

*proceeds to smack laptop with hat*

*bug eyes when Butch knocks out Oswald*

“You [Butch] realize you have to carry him now.” *both chuckle*

C’mon, he weighs like 120 pounds tops.

Soaking wet.

“A few dozen brainwashed maniacs can’t keep the city hostage forever.” “Well, duh...” Pffttt...

“The point is that all these people out here, looting, robbing, killing, they're the people who wash your car, who pour your coffee, who take out your trash. And what happened the moment the lights went out? They showed their true faces. They showed how quickly they want to open up your rich boy veins and bathe in your blue blood.” *very softly* Oooh, that’s a good line.

“There are good people in Gotham.” This is the Killing Joke. ‘All it takes is one bad day.’

“Face it, kid: Gotham has no heroes.” Yeah, but the people who crawl under their beds and lock their doors are the ones that are biding their time.

*Bruce pushes Jerome so that he messes up his shot* Ooohhh!

“Foul! He pushed me! Did you see that?!?” Genesis of Batman and Joker’s relationship: a shove!

*softly* Jesus Christ....

*The “punk” ends up being dropped anyway* Oh my God...

*both yell in disgust when Jerome has to re-staple part of his face*

“Did that hurt?” *z-snaps in shock*

*Jerome puts a staple in Bruce’s arm* Did he [Bruce] just No-Sell-

Ohhh! Ohhh! YES! YES HE DID! Yes he did!

*both yell when Jerome does it again*

Aaahhh! Aahh, that was on the wrist too!

“Stop!” He took two! He took two of those!

Over the wrist too! God, that’s a major vein!

Did you see Jerome there?!? He’s like “Well, wait a minute...”

*imitates the dramatic way Jerome puts his hat back on*

“Where the hell is our back up?” Still two minutes out.” Alfred is your back up!

*chuckles* All you need is Alfred!

“All right, so we [Jim, Harvey, and Alfred] go in, find Bruce, get him to safety, then we go after Jerome. Ready?” “Not really.” *chuckles*

*Jerome comes out in his ringmaster costume* AAAAHHHH THE SUIT!!

Oh, that’s so cool.

YESS!!

*Jerome slaps his butt* Did he-

Yes he did.

“The show is about toooo...begin!” He [Jerome] was doing a Mark Hamill voice there for a second!

I know! He does the Mark Hamill laugh sometimes.

Ohhh that’s badass!

Yeah.

*both try to laugh at the stock crowd gasp when Jerome shoots a rowdy audience member*

Y’know what, he [Jerome] would be the guy that would carry around canned sound effects like that.

“So, how to thank the best darn cult of fanatics a messiah like myself [Jerome] could ask for?” *chuckles* Oh my God...

“I give you-” *does small verbal keyboard smash when the ta-da fanfare stock sound goes off*

“QUEUE!” *laughs*

*Bruce gets carted out* Oh my God.

*mouths along with Jerome saying “Or better yet.... a boom?,” dramatic hand gesture included*

*The cannon gets rolled out* They’re gonna shoot his ass out of a cannon?!?

*laughs* Yeah, like Jerome’s gonna fly out of a cannon!

NO, Y’KNOW WHAT?!? I would pay good money to see that though!

*legitimately trying not to cry laughing* I can just see Cameron Monaghan going *makes flying sound effect*

No, like they’re gonna bada bing bada boom [shoot Bruce with the cannon]

Oh OK.

*laughs*

OK, y’know what, I would have bought it either way!

*keels over laughing* I’m just imagining Cameron Monaghan.... WHHHEEEEEUUUU!!!

AN: Please God someone draw this, I’m begging you.

“NAILED IT” AS HE [Jerome] POURS IN NAILS!

*both yell in horror at Jerome pouring various kitchen knifes into the cannon*

“Whatever you do, please, definitely try this at home. Preferably on a family member.” *wheezes*

“WHOOO! DOGGIE!” Somebody saw “Dr. Strangelove.”

Cameron’s like “Yes, I’m getting PAID!”

“Ready, partner?” *hits desk with hat*

*Alfred starts beating up cult members* Go Alfred!

Go Alfred!

*mutters* You magnificent boss, you...

*both laugh when Jerome’s hat gets shot off*

*Jerome sets off the cannon fuse* Oooooooooohhhhhhh!!

*yells*

*Bruce starts to pick the handcuffs off* C’mon, Bruuuuuuucceee.... c’mon, Bruuuuucccceee...

C’mon, last handcuff. You got this.

*Bruce loses one of the staples* Oooohhhhhhh!!!

Knock the thing [the stand that Bruce is on] over! Knock the thing over! Knock it over so at least you’re out of range!

Well he has one more [staple] though in his wrist. Or does he? Yeah, he has one more!

*in unison* C’mon, c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon!

*jaws drop when Jim and Alfred discover the remnants of the staff that Bruce barely escaped from*

HOLY CRAP!

He broke it?!?

I guess...

Oh no, we gotta back to this [Ed and Oswald drama]! *hits leg with hat* Nooooo!!

“I [Oswald] I underestimated you, Barbara.” *sarcastically* NAAAHHH, really?!?

I hate that dress [the striped one Barbara wears]. I hate that dress so much.

Holy crap, ooooohhhh... that’s from Tabitha’s whip [the mark on Oswald’s neck]!

Ooooohhhh... euugghhh...

“So I [Oswald] help you [Barbara] find Ed... things go better for me... I don’t know, you kill me? That about it?” That’s just about the sound of it.

“Yeah.” Yeah.

*Bruce runs into the Mirror Maze* Oohhhhhhhhh...

Oooohhhhh here we go.

“Bruce, darling.” *points excitedly at screen*

This is the scene!

This is the one “Dark Knight Returns” homage I will ever accept.

*Jerome in front of the mirrors* OH MY GOOOOSSSHHH! Look at that!

That’s awesome.

That is amazing!

That is the coolest damn thing.

Ooooooooooooohhhhh!!

*Bruce comes into the frame* Whooooo hoo hooo hooooo!!

*shocked* Oh shit!

“You’re [Jerome] going to pay for what you’ve done.” *snaps fingers excitedly*

Daaamn, son!

“What’s going on? [Oswald] You have a weird look on your face. Like, weirder than normal.” *scoffs in hilarity*

“Oswald, you loved him, and he [Ed] betrayed you.” Kill him! Kill the love you feel! Prove that death is stronger than love! And you can have your own life again!

Yes, I quoted “Once on This Island,“ what of it?

“But I killed Isabella... because I wouldn’t share him.” Yeah, no shit, eh?

“Ed said love is sacrifice.” *buries face in hat*

“I shoudl have been able to sacrifice my happiness for his.” It took you this long?!?

*both shook when Ed walks in*

[Oswald] You are so dead now...

“You’re [Ed and Barbara] in this together.” Yeah, no shit, eh?

“I [Ed] wanted you [Oswald] to die knowing that you were incapable of loving another person.” “But I can. I just proved that, right?!?” No, you didn’t.

You notice that Bruce is like right beside him [Jerome]!

Yep.

“Let’s do this mano y mano.... my little conquistador [Bruce].” Ahhhhh, don’t call him that.

*gasps when Bruce tackles Jerome from behind*

Shit!

“What kind of hero tackles someone from behind?!?” *chuckles in shock*

*gasps when Bruce beats Jerome to the ground and starts the beatdown*

Keep going!

*Bruce picks up a piece of glass to stab Jerome with* Oh shit!

*both too much in the moment to say anything when Bruce decides not to kill Jerome*

*out of breath* Go Alfred...

C’mon, Alfred!

*both raise our hands and cheer when Bruce runs to hug Alfred*

*Jerome stumbles out toward Bruce and Alfred* OoOOhhhhh!! Ohhhh boy...

Take his ass out! He’s not gonna last much longer!

*yells in shock when Jim runs up and punches Jerome*

*both yell and reel back in horror/disgust when Jerome’s face gets punched off*

*trying not to laugh* His face is back off!

His face...

*in unison, with fancy hand gesture* Off!

*giggles* Had to lighten the mood somehow.

HE [Jim] JUST PUNCHED A DUDE’S FACE OFF!

*laughs* How often can you literally say that?

I KNOW!

“[Harvey] You wish I [Jim] would’ve shot him [Jerome]?” “Eh, he’d probably just come back from the dead again.” “Probably.” *both stifle a laugh*

“At least you [Jim] get to say you punched a man’s face off.” Exactly!

EEeeyyyyyyyy!

*grumbles and hits desk with hat* But Jeremiah dies in the next season.

Jeremiah?

*keels over* SON OF A-

*evil laugh*

There’s twins! Shut up!

“Well, got to say the clown makeup was way more terrifying than the damage underneath, Master Bruce.” Pfft.

“Did I [Alfred] ever tell you that I don’t like clowns?” *bug eyes in horror*

*whispers* You’re not gonna like Jeremiah then.

He’s less clownish than [Jerome]

True.

I love this orange lighting

“Shall I [Alfred] tell you [Bruce] what I thought? I thought how proud I was of you.” *puts hands to chest*

“Of the man you’ve become.” *smiles*

“I almost killed him, Alfred.” But you didn’t.

“But if you [Bruce] keep going, you’re gonna need rules.” Vengeance blackens the soul, Master Bruce. You walk the edge of that abyss every night, but you haven’t fallen over, and I thank heaven for that.

*softly* This is that scene!

“I will not kill.” *both raise our hands in anticipation*

SAY IT!

“Say it again.” Say it, c’mon...

C’mon!

“I will not kill.” *both clap hands toward screen*

YAAAASSSSS!!

My sweet badass bab!

*in dramatic Batman voice* Sad Boy... is now... Vengeful Boy!

*laughs*

*about falls out of chair reeling back* OH SNAP THE CLONE!

*bug eyes*

*throws hat at screen*

“I [Five] still don’t understand how I can help save Gotham.” His voice is different!

Yeah.

That’s the doppleganger theme!

Oh shit, son!

OOOOO-OOOOHHHH!!

*Someone knocks on Jim’s door.” Have a drink first. No wait, you’re gonna need that.

*softly* God damn, this freaking pier...

“Ed...I love you.” *both so done*

“I... don’t... love you.” *snaps fingers in agreement*

“You need me, Edward Nygma!” No he doesn’t!

“When I [Oswald] met you [Ed], you were a nervous, jittery, loser!” :[

“I created Edward Nygma!” You’re full of shit

AN: Oswald kinda has a point though. Just sayin’...

You see him [Oswald] spitting up foam?!?

“You can’t do this...” Yes he damn well can.

“Ed, are you listening to me?” “...I’m listening...“ NO! Don’t listen to him!

*both raise our eyebrows in shock when Ed shoots Oswald*

*laughs* AND WE NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN!

Push him in! Push him in!

*Ed pushes Oswald into the river* YEEEEEEESSSS...

*sings* IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME GOOOO-OOOO-OOOOO!!

*slow jams to Penguin’s theme playing as Oswald sinks to the bottom*

Go to hell, Oswald. I know he lives but let me have this.

*jams the crap out to the ending theme*

#Gotham #FOX #the blogger reacts #looked at the stars and considered a reaction #the gentle art of making enemies #oswald copplepot #edward nygma #isabella gotham #bruce wayne #lee tompkins #jim gordon #jerome valeska #alfred pennyworth #cameron monaghan #jeremiah valeska #barbara kean #tabitha galavan #butch gilzean #court of owls

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