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berriesandjunnie · 2 years

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❝ a songwriter’s melody ❞

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ ° synopsis he could write a million songs and none would compare to his song with you. ┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ ° genre & tags fluff / idol!jihoon / slight angst for some time / jihoon sincerely cares for his partner / parents!au - incoming dad woozi ┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ ° pairing jihoon x afab!reader ┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ ° w.c 2.2k words

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ ° author’s note requested by anon! parent!svt holding my heart hostage rn

˚ ༘♡ ·˚꒰ now loading… enjoy! ꒱ ₊˚ˑ༄

“Have you ever thought about starting families?” The interviewer pressed, heavily examining all thirteen faces in the studio as they flickered uncertain looks between themselves. What was the extent they could talk about here? Not only under their contracts and the weighing stares of the staff but also in the eyes of millions of fans. The interviewer had certainly pushed a sensitive if not taboo topic that cornered the thirteen of them.

The industry deeply recognised that majority of the group were in serious relationships. Most members had been open about their relationships - even if they didn’t show their partners but majority of the members hadn’t officially announced their relationships. It was a scary world to date while being one of the rising idol groups not only in South Korea and Asia but internationally too. That being said, majority of the members were still in secrecy because of saesangs - something the other members who were public had witnessed first hand.

Amongst their silence, they quietly prayed that their anxious silence would be cut when the interview was edited, that or the editors would stand their ground and keep the question out entirely. Seungcheol cleared his throat, deciding to speak up as Seventeen’s leader.

“I don’t think any of us have really thought about it, no.” Seungcheol - despite his nerves and lowkey annoyance at how nosey the press were - smiled warmly at the interviewer, who nodded at his answer as if understanding the situation.

“Yeah and even if we did want to, it would be really unreasonable for us,” Vernon chirped up with his opinion to which the remaining twelve members all hummed in unison, “we are so busy with our schedules and promotions or travelling for tours and I think that it would be unfair on the members with partners to start any families.”

The interview moved on after the men had narrowly avoided giving actual answers to the MC. They could all mentally sigh out of relief that the interviewer didn’t push further - especially to the members publicly out in relationships. The atmosphere had become tense at that point alone and they were simply glad they avoided it getting any worse.

Yet as they travelled in their company vehicles back to the Pledis building following the interview, the topic stuck with Jihoon. It haunted him, lingering no matter how much he would distract himself as he stared out of the van’s window until his eyes landed on a mother pushing a pram. Momentarily he would scowl. Why was he suddenly so obsessed with the concept of having a family with his partner? He hadn’t a clue how you even felt about the situation. You’d never mentioned it because you knew how important his job was.

You had never mentioned it however because you had been labelled as infertile by doctors years ago, prior to even meeting Jihoon. You were convinced that he had no intentions of starting a family, yet again it all came back to his job especially as Seventeen’s songwriter. Even you valued it as much as he did.

“I’m home,” the familiar voice called out from the apartment’s front door, followed by a loud sounding yawn, “can we order takeaway?”

It was as if he recognised that you hadn’t even started cooking yet - which you usually had by now. You hummed from the living room couch, a towel wrapped around your wet hair as you painted your nails. Jihoon rose a brow, laughing slightly at the view.

“What do you want to order?” You mumbled, obliviously to the fact he was quite enjoying the view of you pampering yourself in what you would usually call a ‘girly’ way.

“Do I want to know why you’re suddenly pampering yourself?” Jihoon mused, placing his bags at the door as he wandered to sit beside you. He was careful as to not budge you too much, he didn’t want to face your wraith if he knocked your newly painted nails.

“Can I not?” you laughed, looking up at your boyfriend as he watched intently, “you’re in a good mood. How was the interview?”

Jihoon faltered and you caught it in the way that he moved, the smile on your face falling as you awaited his response. He was silent for some minutes, eyes staring off into the distance. You opened your mouth to say his name but he suddenly returned to reality.

“I’m not sure how much the editors will be allowed to air,” Jihoon mumbled, leaning back against the couch with a sigh, “they asked a bunch of taboo questions, I thought Seungcheol would blow a fuse.”

You rose a brow. You’d always admired the temperament that Seungcheol had as Seventeen’s leader so the concept that he would be close to blowing a fuse during an interview heavily intrigued you as to what was being asked. Part of you hoped most of it would be aired so you could watch Seungcheol slowly lose his mind.

“Now you’ve made me curious.” You joked lightly after the air fell into a tense atmosphere. Jihoon scoffed with a little chuckle, scrolling through the TV guide with the remote. The man let out a sigh, tilting his head back.

“They asked about us starting families.” Jihoon’s voice was low and you froze, staring at the nail you’d been painting so delicately. It felt as if you were suffocating suddenly, your throat tightening at the concept of having to tell Jihoon the reality of a family would not be possible.

“Is that so?” You croaked out, attempting to clear your throat. Jihoon sat forward, a hand on your leg suddenly as a wave of concern rushed over him.

“Sweetheart?” Jihoon whispered and you shook your head, finishing the nail you’d been focusing on as you tried to brush off the moment, “we don’t have to have one you know if you don’t want to.”

You faked a smile at him as you tightened the lid on the nail polish bottle, placing it on the coffee table.

“It was never a case of whether I’d want one,” the stinging feeling in your eyes felt stronger and you tried to blink it away, pushing out a tear or two, “it’s whether I can have one.”

Jihoon stammered on a soft apology as he pulled you into his chest, letting you sob into his shirt while his hand smoothed down your back repeatedly. He blinked, gulping as he pressed a kiss to your head.

The topic never arose after that night, Jihoon would hold his breath every time someone mentioned that damned interview. He couldn’t stomach the thought of it anymore if it would bring his partner emotional pain. Jihoon would never recognise that you did in fact watch the interview like you’d thought about the evening he told you about it. You’d watched it numerous times actually. They had kept in the question regarding families and you had watched the way Seungcheol unravelled in such a tense way.

You had also watched your partner seated behind him. You watched his expressions as he thought about the question while Seungcheol defended the group. With it, you began to feel a never ending guilt that you wouldn’t be able to give him the family he perhaps dreamt of in that moment and you began to doubt whether you should still be with Jihoon. You’d contemplated leaving him but every time he came home from work and smothered you in love he’d never show to anybody else, you would never even comprehend the thought of leaving him.

“I feel so ill all the time,” you voiced to Mingyu’s partner, who hummed in response, “you don’t think it is this Covid-19, right?”

“Of course not,” she laughed lightly, shaking her head when you sighed in relief, “what drink are you getting?”

You pursed your lips, staring amongst the list of drinks on the menu. There was no intention to drink alcohol but you could catch Mingyu’s partner eyeing specifically the cocktails. You’d acquired a friend in her and she’d been with you through the thick and thin of being an idol’s partner in return.

“I think I’ll just get a coffee.” You sighed, ignoring the odd look she flashed in your direction. You didn’t think you could stomach much else at the moment as a wave of nausea would run over your body every so often.

There was no way, you were convinced as you paced in the apartment’s bathroom. The room was beginning to spin and your vision would turn to static as you struggled to breath. There was no way. You’d repeat it like a mantra, even whispering it under your breath but it never stuck as your gaze fell back to the counter every time. Jihoon was at work, you couldn’t disturb him - you promised yourself you wouldn’t disturb him but your hand lingered over your phone. You should tell him. The phone rang as you pressed it to your ear, trying to breathe in and out so you could gain control once more.

“Sweetheart?” Jihoon’s voice spoke up over the sound of their music echoing in the dance studio.

“You’re in the studio?” You asked and he hummed in agreement. There was the yells of Seokmin and Soonyoung in the background, yelling their hellos to you through the phone. Jihoon cursed quietly, telling them off before turning his attention back to you on the other side of the phone call.

“What’s wrong? Do you need me to come home?” Jihoon had a tone of panic in his voice, clearing his throat as it was suddenly quiet on his end while your partner left the dance studio, the music drowning out behind a closed door.

“No, no, you’re at work, I just-” you began to choke on your words, a tear running down your warm cheek as you thought of how to say it, “Jihoon, I’m pregnant.”

There was silence, you could only hear your heavy breathing as you tried to get oxygen into your lungs even in this suffocating atmosphere. Jihoon was staring down an empty corridor within the Pledis building, his ears ringing as he took a breath.

“Really?” he whispered. You made a noise, followed by a very quiet sob. Sitting on the toilet seat, you stared at the positive pregnancy test with blurry eyes, listening intently to Jihoon’s sniffles of disbelief as he began to cry in the corridor, “I’ll be home in a minute.”

Every social media app you opened flashed a headline regarding yourself and Jihoon. ‘Seventeen’s Woozi announces partner’s pregnancy’ was everywhere in the news, the media feeding off the topic so easily. You sighed from where you were laying on the couch in your apartment, a small bowl of snacks balancing carefully on your bump as you scrolled through your phone.

“Making use of your bump I see.” Jihoon mused as he emerged from his office, some paper in his hands. You smiled up at him as he leaned down, giving you a gentle kiss.

“Of course,” you popped a snack into your mouth, your eyes falling to the paper in your hands, “what do you need? You’re never out of your office this early.”

“Can you read these lyrics for me? Wonwoo asked if you could too - we want to make sure we’re not being disrespectful or anything.” Jihoon mumbled embarrassedly at his request as he held the papers out for you to take. You brushed the crumbs off your fingers before taking the papers carefully.

“It gives me something to do other than sit here scrolling through social media.”

In the late hours of a Thursday in the middle of September, a hospital’s private room erupted with the cries of a baby girl. Lee Eunji was born to a loving family, not only by blood but by connection. Seventeen absolutely adored their newest addition, cradling her almost all hours of the day. Jihoon was never one to falter his reputation but as her father, he had softly complained at one point that his members had held her more than himself.

However they never got to witness these moments like the two of you did, as you sat in his home office with a newborn wrapped in your arms while Jihoon worked. He was to just finish working on this song and the two of you would promptly be going to bed for some well needed sleep after the long nights Eunji had caused you but you also had to get Eunji to sleep.

Jihoon’s music echoed in the small room as you cooed to the daughter in your arms, smiling as her eyes flickered over your face.

“Daddy’s working.” You whispered to her when her small chubby hand reached into Jihoon’s direction. It caught the attention of the man, who turned to look over his shoulder at the two loves of his life. He chuckled a little before replaying the part of the song he’d just missed while distracted.

Eunji babbled a little, making some baby noises to the music Jihoon had produced. Once more, he turned to look at his daughter with a quirked brow. A smile curled his lips tiredly as he wheeled his office chair towards the two of you, gently taking Eunji from your arms as if she was porcelain. You had mocked him for it, he was so delicate with her. His slim finger stroked her cheek before he lowered it to let her wrap her tiny fingers around his finger.

“My little melody.”

#cafeshuaaa #seventeen #seventeen fluff #seventeen fanfic #seventeen woozi #svt imagines #svt x reader #svt fluff #svt fanfic #svt #lee jihoon #idol!au #parents!au #afab!reader #requested fanfic

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genshinlover101 · 2 years

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hmmm.. Ningguang x Reader who's like an idol who tours around Teyvat? (like a kpop idol of sorts-)

Ningguang x Idol S/O

Character: Ningguang x gn!reader

Warnings: small usage of profanity

A/n: I feel like Ningguang would get you into a lot of scandals for some reason so I decided to take that route

• When Ningguang started dating you she thought of it as a win-win situation. You tour Teyvat, gain popularity, and bring tourist fans to Liyue. This cycle would bring a never ending revenue to Liyue. The fact you two were dating was merely a side benefit.

• That’s what she thought at least. Your career affected her more than she would like to admit. She missed you like crazy whenever you were gone, and she was shamefully jealous of all your fans gawking over what’s hers.

• A materialistic possessive woman such as herself didn’t like the share. So whenever girls or boys would crowd you, she’d make certain she was showing you off as a trophy.

• Your manager would lecture her in secret about how it was better publicity for you to remain single. But she didn’t care, she was not going to give you up to any disgusting super fan.

You were on your terrace looking out at Liyue’s peaceful night sky. Your manager had scheduled you a tour last minute, you were already stressed out enough. Your company had given you an impossible deadline to produce a single. You could use a smoke right now.

Ningguang opened the drapes to unveil you standing alone, “why the long face?” She asked twirling her pipe in one hand. To see you so distraught was hard for her.

She joined you at the railing. Seductively draping herself to rest on the wooden bar. Something about Ningguang drove you crazy, her commanding demeanor was all too enticing for you.

“Ah, it’s nothing much dear.” She could see right through you.

“Don’t you dare lie to me,” she assumed her place closer beside you. Putting a flame to her pipe she smoked a deep puff, before exhaling. “I know you’ve been worked half to death, relax a few. I’m sure your contract will allow that at least.”

“I wish it were as simple as that.” She saw your deep eye bags, acne blemishes from stress corrupting your skin. She offered her pipe, you knew you weren’t supposed to but it was all so tempting.

Within a single second, it happened all so suddenly. You took the pipe to your mouth and inhaled before exhaling. Pop! A flash of light came from the bushes below. Shit… the paparazzi. Within just a moment, if that photo were spread your entire career would be in jeopardy. Silence filled the air as Ningguang was just in shock at what had happened.

Once piece by piece was put together you felt useless, “Ah I’m seriously screwed now.” Maybe you wouldn’t even need to stress about your tour to Fontaine, after all, you might not have a career by tomorrow morning.

Ningguang gawked at how ridiculous the situation at hand was. “Honestly how pathetic,” she groaned. “Archons, the nerve of those freaking creeps. They won’t even grant you a smoke without crawling up your skin. Is this really what it’s like to be an idol?”

“It’s alright Ningguang,” you intertwined your hand with hers. “Don’t fret over my career.” Despite your dismissive attitude, she could sense your desperation. She knew you loved your job more than anything, and she wouldn’t want any lousy photographer to end it.

“Oh, what the hell- it was my fault anyway for tempting you.” She sounded spiteful. “Don’t forget as the Tianquan I have authority over all law in Liyue. That photo won’t even get to see the light of day, not under my nose.” She tightened her grip on your hand to let you know you could trust whatever she said.

“Like always, I look forward to hearing about your travels to Fontaine,” With a reassuring smile she kissed you on the cheek, “now come inside already, I’m freezing.” Something about that woman. She could pull strings and network like nobody else. You were confident that out of anyone else, she was the one who could save you in any situation.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #ningguang x reader #genshin headcanons #ningguang

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agustdakasuga · 3 years

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Reflection Of You | Chapter 1

Genre: Historical!AU, Timetraveller!AU / Different Dimension, Romance

Pairing: SUGA x Reader, Yoongi x Reader

Characters: Normal!Reader, Idol!Suga, King!Yoongi, Guard!Seokjin, Guard!Jungkook, RoyalAdvisor!Namjoon, Servant!Jimin, Servant!Hoseok, Prince!Taehyung

Summary: Confirming you were dating the famous Min Suga of BTS, you knew you were bound to make some enemies. But what you didn’t expect was to be cursed, going back to meet a cold-hearted, arrogant king that shares the same face as your rapper lover.

The nightmare the both of you feared had finally come true.

“Thank you, ARMY!”

“We’ll see you soon!”

“We love you forever! Goodnight!” You watched the monitor with proud eyes, your hands clasped together. After a long world tour, the boys had their final concert in Korea, their home country. You, along with the other staff, clapped as the 7 boys stepped off the stage.

“Good job!” There were exchanges of hugs and pats on the backs. Technically, you weren’t a member of staff, so you respected the distance, standing at the back of the crowd.

“There you are.” Someone said, almost like a sigh of relief.

“Great job, as always.” A smile slowly widened on your face as you opened your arms to hug him, resting your cheek against his peck.

“I’m sweaty.” Was all he said.

“Like I ever minded.” You chuckled, pulling away to look up at him. He gave a soft smile, leaning down to peck your lips. It was quick but endearing. You knew for him, doing that in public was already a large feat.

“Noona! You’re here!” You were yanked out of your beloved’s arms.

“Of course, Kookie. It’s the last show of the tour, I wouldn’t miss it.” You patted his head as he lifted you off the ground.

“Yah, look at the scowl on hyung’s face after you stole his girl.” Taehyung appeared, slinging his arm around your maknae’s neck. You giggled, shaking your head. Someone stood beside you, holding your hand. Speak of the devil. You turned your head to see him looking at his phone in his other hand, totally nonchalant about holding your phone.

“Great show today, guys. You were amazing.” You told all 7 of them as they packed up, ready to head home.

“Thank you, (y/n).” Jin pinched your cheek lovingly.

“As much as I love spending time with ARMY, I’m excited to have some time off, as well.” Jimin yawned, adjusting his hat in the mirror. You nodded in agreement. The boys deserved a nice break.

“The vans are here.” The managers informed.

“Let’s go, aegi.” He called. You walked hand in hand with him. Before you stepped out, he stopped you.

“You forgot again?” He chuckled, taking a mask out of his pocket. He gently hooked the elastics over your ears, adjusting the fabric on your face to make sure that it was comfortable.

“Thank you.” You said sheepishly.

“Hurry, love birds!” Hoseok called out, being the one to share the van with the two of you. Even if you were all boarding the van privately, you were still cautious, wearing a mask when you went out in case any fan manages to slip past security and saw you.

“We’ll sit at the back.” You were yanked into the seat, making you blink in shock. You felt your lover’s headrest against your shoulder.

“Any plans for the break, Hobi?” You asked.

“Hmm, besides going home? I would like to travel but I don’t really have a destination in mind. What about you? Are you and hyung going to do something?” He asked back.

“He’s visiting his family. Unfortunately, I have work but I’ll try to join him for a few days. After that, we might take a few days off to travel too.” You smiled.

“Must be nice to travel with a companion.” Hoseok teased.

“Not when your companion just wants to sleep and eat all day.” You giggled. There was a grunt of annoyance from beside you.

“Hey, you sleep just as much as me. We hardly stepped out of our hotel room the last vacation because all we did was sleep then nap all day. Besides, I deserve to sleep and eat all day for how hard I’ve worked.” He scoffed. You nodded your head, you couldn’t argue with that after all the hard work the boys have put into the tour.

“Touché.” You booped his nose.

“Still hard to believe hyung is the first one to get a girl. We all thought he was too much a gramps to get one.” Hoseok laughed.

“That’s part of his charm, I guess.” You smiled. Looking down, you saw that said male had fallen asleep against your shoulder. A slight frown was on his face as he crossed his arms.

When the car stopped in the gated apartment complex, the 3 of you were dropped off at the front of the dorm building.

“Hobi-”

“I know, I know. You won’t be spending the night in the dorm. Goodnight, you two.” Hoseok waved you two off. You giggled and gave him a hug before parting ways from him.

“I can’t wait to just spend the next few days in bed.”

“When are you going back to Daegu?”

“Next week. What, can’t wait to get rid of me already?” He teased. You scoffed, entering the lift together and tapping the resident card, pressing the lift button.

“If I wanted to get rid of you, I could just return to my place.” You shook your head.

“As if I’d let you.” He said from behind you. Pressing the code into the keypad on the door, you pressed your finger print and the door unlocked. The two of you shuffled into the big apartment. You turned the lights on and placed your bag on the couch. The first thing you did was put away the washed dishes from your breakfast this morning.

“You can do that tomorrow.” His voice groaned.

“It’ll take less than a minute. Go ahead and shower.” You chuckled. Once again, you were yanked away from the cupboard. He rested his chin on your shoulder, arms loosely looped around your waist.

“What’s wrong?” You whispered, stroking the back of his head.

“Is it too early for post concert blues?”

“You are such a workaholic. You’ll be on stage again soon. Besides, ARMY wouldn’t want to see all of you so tired out. They would want you to rest well and have a break too.” You comforted.

“When I’m with them, I just feel like I have the whole world.”

“ARMY is lucky to have all of you. You’re their world just as much as they are yours.” You smiled.

“You’re forgetting something. ARMY gives me the whole world. But right now, I know I am holding my whole world.” He placed a gentle kiss against your temple.

“Cheeseball.” You shook your head with a laugh. You shooed him away to shower while you finished the chores for the night like folding the washed clothes, filling the coffee machine for tomorrow and arranging the few fan gifts from ARMY around the house.

“I’m done.” He called from the bedroom. You entered, seeing him pull a plain white shirt over his head. He rubbed his wet hair with a towel.

“I’ll go shower.” You said, picking some fresh clothes and bringing it to the bathroom. You were quick with your shower, blowing drying your hair afterwards so you wouldn’t have to wait for it to dry.

“Hurry, I want to sleep.”

“You don’t have to wait for me!” You replied.

“No.”

“Alright, alright.” You shook your head, hanging your towel back on the rack to dry. You closed the bathroom door, slipping under the covers. Immediately, you were drawn into a warm embrace.

“Don’t wake me up tomorrow.” He mumbled, eyes closing.

“Wouldn’t dare to.” You joked. He opened one eye to glare at you while you smiled innocently at him. He yawned, tucking his head into the crook of your neck comfortably.

“Goodnight, aegi.” He placed a kiss against your skin.

“Goodnight, Yoon.” You replied.

You’ve known Yoongi for years now. When you worked at a music store near BTS’ old dorm when they had just debuted. He would come at night, just before closing to browse the shelves. Even if you came to know the whole group through Yoongi, you and Yoongi connected on a whole new level, you understood each other through music.

It was about 2 years ago that he had asked you out on a date. Of course, you were unsure, considering how popular he was and you didn’t want to burden him by keeping your relationship a secret.

But you trusted Yoongi. When he told you he would protect you, you gave him a chance. And you’ve been happily together ever since.

It scared you when Yoongi threatened to leave BigHit when the management found out about you. You told Yoongi that you wanted him to prioritise BTS and ARMY before your relationship together. That was your only condition.

“Why?”

“Because ARMY and BTS were there for you before I was. You need to be there for them just like how they are there for you.” You told him.

With that, the management and Mr Bang approved of your relationship. They also appreciated how you made Yoongi happier and were a positive influence when he had his low times.

It was around 4 am. You woke up, feeling the space beside you still empty. The sheets felt cold, meaning that Yoongi hadn’t returned. You sent a message to Jungkook, who you knew would still be awake since he was working on releasing a surprise song cover for ARMY.

“Yoongi hyung? He hasn’t returned.” The youngest informed.

“Thanks, Kookie.” You hung up. You respected Yoongi and his work, never wanting to interrupt him or stop him but you knew you had to step in at certain times.

‘The number you have dialled is currently unavailable-’

You sighed as you were directed to voicemail again. Putting your shoes on, you left home to visit his studio.

DING DONG

You pressed the doorbell, waiting for an answer but to no avail. Even if you knew the code, you wouldn’t just enter. Just like everyone else, you would always ring the doorbell first and wait for a reply. You pressed it again.

“Who is- Oh, it’s you.” Yoongi poked his head out.

“Hey.” You greeted.

“What are you doing here? I’m busy.” Yoongi said. It came out colder than he would have liked but after working for hours and not getting the results he wanted, he was getting frustrated.

“I know. Just wanted to see how you were doing. Can I come in?” You asked. Yoongi looked back into his studio.

“I’d rather you not. Like I said, I’m busy. I can’t have another person here, it’ll only distract me more.” He said. Yoongi wasn’t someone that dealt with emotions well, you knew that. When things weren’t working out, his defence mode was to just push everyone away and hide alone. That’s just his way of dealing with emotions.

“I understand.” You nodded, not wanting to push him any further. Without another word, Yoongi just closed the door, retreating back into his studio.

“Hmm...” You roamed around the lounge area. You smiled as you came across the famous picture of Jimin that Yoongi got as a prize during the photography episode of Run!BTS.

“Time to go home.” You went back home. Even waiting for Yoongi outside his studio, you knew he would feel guilty later on and you didn’t want that. You laid in bed but was woken up by Yoongi pressing his face into your back.

“Yoon...?” You tried to turn around to face him but his arms held you in place.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, burying his face into your back. You reached over to put your hand over his.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” You said, sleep laced in your voice. You yawned, finally turning around to face him. You cupped his cheek with your free hand.

“The songs weren’t working out, the lyrics were trash, I just... I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. After you left, I just-”

“Shh, you don’t have to explain. I understand how frustrating it must have been. Everyone has their own down times. Don’t worry, I’m just glad you’re back to rest. Maybe after a nice sleep, you’ll have a clearer mind to write better, hmm?” You smiled softly.

“Next time, be angry with me.”

“Why do you want me to be angry with you? I mean, I have times when work frustrates me too. We aren’t perfect.” You laughed.

“You’re too nice to me.” He pressed you against his body, inhaling your comforting scent. You loosely wrapped your own arm around his middle, letting out a yawn.

“Go wash up. I’ll wait for you.” You promised.

Yoongi was usually an early riser but after the concert last night, he had slept in until the afternoon. When he woke up, he realised that you weren’t beside him. He sat up, running his fingers through his hair as he looked for you.

‘Fridge empty. Went out to get groceries. Iced Americano is in the fridge. - (y/n)’

Yoongi smiled at your note, folding it and tucking it into his pocket. He never told you but he keeps all the notes you leave him, even for ones that just say, ‘gone to work’. He shuffled to the fridge, taking the glass of cold coffee out, adding ice before sticking a straw in. He sat down by the kitchen island, scrolling on his phone.

‘BTS’ Suga seen holding hands with mysterious female after concert.’

‘Insider releases photos of BTS’ rapper and a female embracing each other, said to be his girlfriend.’

‘Has the cold, savage rapper finally met his match?’

Yoongi’s eyes widened as he saw the alert news. He felt his heart stop when he clicked on one of the articles. There were blurry photos of you holding hands with him, leaving the venue last night.

“PD nim.” Yoongi called his boss.

“It seems a fan had snuck in under the guise of a staff member. We’ll handle the press for now and tell you what to do next.”

“How can this happen?!”

“Calm down, Yoongi. We have apprehended the culprit and will be turning her over to the authorities. Just make sure (y/n) is safe. The two of you should stay indoors for now.”

When he hung up, his phone rang again, it was the members. But right now, he couldn’t answer them. He was too worried about where you were and whether you were safe. Quickly, Yoongi dialled your number. Fortunately, you picked up, totally ignorant that your relationship was now public.

“Good morning, or should I say, good afternoon?”

“Aegi, are you okay?” He panicked.

“Okay? Of course, I am. Didn’t you see my note? I just finished paying for groceries, about to leave the mart.”

“Stay right there, aegi. I’m coming to get you. Don’t talk to anyone, alright? I’m coming.” He said as he grabbed his car keys, putting on a mask and a cap.

“Okay, now you’re scaring me. What’s wrong, Yoon?”

“They found out. I’m so sorry I let this happen. I’ll explain more when I come get you, alright?” He said and hung up. He got into his car, speeding to where you were. You were standing by the mart entrance.

“Yoon.” You sighed in relief, entering the car with all the groceries in your lap. Yoongi sped away, back to the gated community. True to that, as he passed the security, he saw some fans standing at the post, trying to enter. Luckily, fans didn’t know he owned this car and the windows were tinted so he could drive past without anyone suspecting.

“Let’s go. Hurry.” He grabbed the bags, pulling you with him to the apartment. Only when you reached, you finally stopped him.

“Yoon, calm down. It’s okay, I’m okay. Now tell me, slowly, what happened?” You led him to the couch to sit down. He buried his hands into his palms while you rubbed his back.

“Someone snuck in as a staff member last night and took pictures of us. It was in the press this morning.” He explained.

“Does PD nim know about this?”

“He said he will handle the press and tell us what we have to do next.” He shivered, his breathing quickening. You knew that was a sign of Yoongi’s anxiety so you pulled him into your embrace immediately.

“It’ll be okay, Yoongi.” You comforted.

“Have you spoken to the boys?” You asked softly. He shook his head. As he said that, your phone rang. It was Namjoon.

“They’re just worried and want to know if you’re okay. Let me tell them that we’re okay.” You told him, answering Namjoon’s call and putting him on speaker. As you predicted, the other boys were on the other line, bombarding the both of you with questions.

“We’re okay, just a little overwhelmed. Thank you for your concern. We’ll just wait for PD nim’s instructions.” You told them.

“Do you want us to come over?”

“Maybe later on but not right now? Just let Yoongi and I grasp the situation and calm down first. If there’s anything, we’ll be sure to keep you all updated.” You promised.

“We’ll see you later then.”

“I’m so sorry I let this happen, aegi.” Yoongi cried, cupping your cheek and rubbing it with his thumb.

“Hey, it’s not your fault. We will get through this. I know it’s a little earlier than we would have liked but we knew the risks we were taking by having this relationship, Yoon.” You wiped his tears.

“You don’t understand, aegi. Those people that could hurt you, they aren’t really ARMY. They’re crazy and obsessed. I’ve seen what they have done to others before. I will never be able to live with myself if I let the same thing happen to you.” He shook his head. You knew what Yoongi was referring to, the ‘sasaeng fans’ that the media always talked about.

“Let’s not think of the worst.” You hummed. Yoongi’s phone ringing broke your embrace. It was PD nim, along with the PR team.

“Yes. I understand… I’ll speak to her and let you know. Thank you.” Yoongi said and hung up with a sigh. You tilted your head, hoping they didn’t give Yoongi the ultimatum.

“They said I either publish a note to the fans, explaining everything. Or let them deny the photos, say that you are just a family member.” He explained.

“I see...” Those were reasonable options.

“What do you think is the right thing to do?” You asked Yoongi.

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beyoncesdragon · 3 years

Text

title: coming home

× pairing: Idol!Mark Lee x Reader

× summary: The possibility of Mark Lee having missed you like mad, may just be another possibility that can possibly happen. His words.

× warnings: none really. it’s just fluffy Mark

× wordcount: <800

× a/n: in conclusion, I love mark lee.

main masterlist | NCT127 masterlist

Mark was so tired.

He had his eyes glued to the swaying backpack in front of him, hand gripped tightly around a loose hanging ribbon from said backpack. He tried to ignore the rising bubbles of annoyance in his throat when someone pushed him to the side roughly, causing him to bump shoulders with the one walking next to him. He knew it was a security guard who was just doing his job. He was grateful for them, sincerely grateful. He was just on the edge since the journey started twelve hours ago. He just wanted to go home.

Haechan next to him looked like he was in a daze, the younger boys fingers linked with Marks free hand, eyes wide and everywhere. He had his bag slung over his left shoulder, and even though the mask covered his mouth, Mark was sure that he was mouthing the lyrics of whatever song he was listening to at the moment.

Mark sighed deeply as they rushed on, the tiredness of the long flight and the exhaustion of a finished tour making his legs feel heavy.

The headphones in his ears did a poor job filling his head with anything else than the screaming of fans, his feet occasionally stumbled over themselves and Mark was so, so tired.

He closed his eyes for a second, blindly stumbling forwards. He took a deep breath, smelling nothing but cold airport air.

Airport.

The familiar scent of travel and touring, a mixture of cheap coffee and fresh bread, too many people, lavatory kool-aid stuck in airplane upholstery, the smell of paint and rain, the faint sting of burnt jet fuel, the rubber of the luggage belt, lemongrass (a scent which took Mark by surprise), fast food and people, people, people.

Taeil adjusted his backpack causing the ribbon to be pulled out of Marks grip harshly, ripping him out of his tired thoughts.

Oh how he wanted to go home.

Airport security bawled some rather rude words at a group of fans, urging them to stay back. Mark could only give them an apologising look before he was ushered to walk on, Haechan gripping his fingers tightly.

Only a few more minutes and you’ll be there, he told himself when he boarded the black mini bus waiting for them, swarmed by fans already. Not long now.

Mark opened the door with his spare key, impatiently pushing himself and his luggage inside. With a kick he transported his duffle bag a few steps ahead of him, before slipping out of his shoes. Only then he halted, eyes closing in exhaustion, head tilting back. He made it back. It seemed unreal, after all those weeks of being crammed in tour busses and rushing from hotel to stage and back. He wasn’t fully home yet though, there was one last thing...

“Mark?” His eyes flew open at the sound of your voice, an instant reaction.

Unable to move for a second, he drank up the sight of you. You, an sight he’d missed like a madman during his time in America. A sight he’d been burning to come back home to every day of being away.

He dropped his jacket on spot and just rushed towards you, not even bothering to say anything before he wrapped his arms around you. His hug was impossibly tight and he wasted no time burying his face in the crook of your neck inhaling your scent deeply.

You smelled like a warm day, hot chocolate and vanilla, like the mild body lotion you always used, like camomile and honey and you, you, you.

You half expected him to just stand there and hug you until one of you started to complain about sore legs or hurting kneecaps, but it looked like Mark had other plans. He tightened his arms around you, carefully pushing you towards your bedroom, without even lifting his head from your neck.

With a hum he navigated the two of you towards your bed and finally flopped down on the mattress. You hadn’t had the chance to ask him anything (for example, since when he’s gotten so bold with his intentions, since the Mark you knew would probably rather down a gallon of green tea than express his needs that openly), you were too occupied with the task of not tripping over.

But it looked like you had it all wrong: Mark showed not the slightest inclinations to take it any further. All he did was nuzzle his face closer into the skin on your neck, shifting his weight from off your chest a bit so he and you were equally comfortable. His hot breath fanned over your skin with every deep breath he took and you closed your eyes momentarily. There was not much to be said, the two of you understood each other without words.

Mark sighed deeply, as if someone had just lifted the weight of the world off his heart and it elicited a light chuckle from your lips. Your fingers drew soothing circles into the soft fabric of his sweater as the two of you just laid there, wrapped in each other’s embrace. He still carried the faint scent of travelling with him, the smell sitting in the fabric of his clothes and hair. The scent of airport, travel, post-tour Mark, coffee and hot chocolate, the smell of damp fabric and rain, the smell of a foreign country, fabric softener and perfume, like you, him, home.

When he finally shifted, slowly raising his head to look up at you, you couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

“Hi.”

That was all you whispered, looking at him with all fondness of the world, a tiny smile tugging on your lips. He mirrored the smile, leaning towards you to press a small but very sweet kiss against your lips.

“Hi.”

And he kissed you again, a bit longer this time before he rested his head on your chest again.

“I missed you.” He hummed, pressing a quick kiss against your collarbone, suddenly unable to keep his lips from touching you.

“I almost couldn’t tell...” you teased lovingly, running your fingers through his hair. He huffed, biting back a grin.

“I think I missed you too.” He laughed against the fabric of the shirt you wore - which was his, how he now recognised - giving you a boyish grin.

“You think you missed me too?” You only nodded, lips pulled into a small, mocking pout.

“There is a possibility that I did, yes.” He huffed, shaking his head. “A possibility? Wow that’s reassuring.” You hummed, pinching his cheeks.

“The possibility of all those possibilities being possible -“ Mark groaned and silenced you with a kiss before you could finish your mockery, causing you to giggle against his lips.

And Mark finally made it home.

— ✩ thank u for reading ✩ —

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jalapeno-princess · 3 years

Text

Be Mine Again

Mark Tuan X Reader

Genre: Angst (With a happy ending)

Word Count: 10.6K

Summary: Mark practically lived on airplanes; being a KPOP idol meant he was constantly traveling. Waking up early to head over to the airport was something he was used to. However, these last few months for Mark have been an actual living hell. He was exhausted beyond belief, having only three hours of sleep and so he decided to grab some coffee. Nothing seemed too out of the ordinary; the Seoul airport was busy as always, yet that doesn’t stop him from noticing that the customer that was currently being rung reminded him of you. It’s been a while since he’s last seen you, but Mark knew you like the back of his hand. When he comes to the realization that it is you, he comes to accept the fact that the two of you at the same place at the same time wasn’t just merely coincidence and he wasn’t going to take this chance for granted.

A/N: Hey guys, I have two papers due in less than two hours, but I wanted to post this by tonight (PRIORITIES) hahahahahaha if I don’t graduate in May, we all know why. I actually wrote this last year but I never had the motivation to finish it. However, the words just kept flowing out and here we are. I’m still trying to get my motivation back to continue other stories, but until then, please enjoy this one! This is based on the song “Wake me up” by Ed Sheeran.

I should ink my skin With your name And take my passport out again And just replace it

See I could do without a tan on my left hand Where my fourth finger meets my knuckle And I should run you a hot bath And fill it up with bubbles

'Cause maybe you're lovable Maybe you're my snowflake And your eyes turn from green to gray In the winter I'll hold you in a cold place And you should never cut your hair 'Cause I love the way you flick it off your shoulder

And you will never know Just how beautiful you are to me But maybe I'm just in love When you wake me up

Mark was never a morning person but it was quite understandable. He’d always have to wake up at the crack of dawn and head to dance practice or to the studio for a recording session. Luckily today was his first legitimate day off in months and he wanted nothing more than to sleep in till noon and spend the rest of his day doing nothing with you.

To his dismay, he found himself waking up a bit too early for his liking because he noticed the bed seemed more spacious and you weren’t there when he reached out to pull you closer to his body. Your boyfriend knew you weren’t a morning person either and with the way your job was overworking you to the bone these days, Mark knew you were just as tired as he was and needed a well deserved break; so where exactly could you have gone?

His questions were soon answered when the scent of bacon and blueberry pancakes filled your bedroom and he couldn’t help but grin at the idea of you making breakfast. It’s been a while since the two of you really got to spend time together. He’s been on tour with Got7 for the last six months and you were only able to visit him three times during the entire tour because your schedule was just as hectic as his was.

He couldn’t wait to spend time with his favorite girl and hopefully you had the same ideas of how the day was going to play out. Once he put on some boxers and a t-shirt to look more decent, he made his way in to the living room and toward the kitchen but stopped once his eyes landed on your curvaceous figure.

You were currently wearing his t-shirt from the night before and a cute little thong that left little to the imagination and his mind began to wander to your little love making session a few hours prior. He had to bite his lip to prevent himself from groaning at how sexy you looked and making his presence known but he didn’t care.

Mark loved making it aware just how much of an effect you had on him. Your boyfriend wasn’t all that secretive in trying to hide that he had just joined you and you could hear his footsteps as he made his way toward you, so you weren’t as surprised when you felt his arms wrap lazily around your waist as he placed his chin on your shoulder.

“Good morning baby. Smells good, and I’m not talking about the food.” You playfully rolled your eyes at his comment and although you couldn’t see him, you knew by the intonation in his voice that he was smiling.

“How are you feeling this morning? I didn’t go too rough on you did I?” You decided to turn around and stole a chaste kiss from the corner of his mouth before playfully pinching his cheek.

“You give yourself too much credit Tuan. I’m walking around just fine aren’t I?”

The adorable pout he gave you after your cheeky response sent warmth to your cheeks but you know it was all just an act. Mark knew you were just messing with him because as the two of you were having sex, you wouldn’t stop screaming his name in pleasure and begging him to go faster. Normally your love making sessions were always so passionate and tender; full of love confessions and sensual touches. However, last night was a little more on the dominant and rough side not that you were complaining.

Got7’s world tour ended just three days ago and as soon as Mark landed back in Korea yesterday afternoon, he made a beeline straight to your shared apartment and both showed you and told you just how much he’s missed you since he’s been away the entire day. You had a couple of bruises on your hips, thighs and around your neck but you didn’t care. As much as you loved how soft and extremely caring Mark could be whenever it came to you, you loved his kinky and animalistic side just a little bit more.

“Hmm, I guess I’m just going to have to change your mind by fucking your brains out the entire day then huh? Oh, by the way, you look so fucking sexy in my shirt y/n. God, I don’t know how I can go so long without seeing you and kissing you, it’s fucking torture. I missed you so much baby.”

You smiled widely in to the kiss when he practically smashed his lips against yours and you automatically wrapped your arms around his neck; wanting to be as close to him as possible. He only deepened the kiss and turned off the stove before hoisting you on top of the kitchen counter and finding his way in between your legs. Being in a long distance relationship was extremely tough and it was even harder knowing that your boyfriend was one of the biggest international celebrities in the entire world.

Sometimes, you’d forget you were dating a Kpop idol because Mark seemed like such a normal guy. To the world, he was Got7’s main rapper Mark Tuan but to you, he was your cheesy and extremely corny boyfriend who cried at Disney movies, didn’t know how to multiply numbers once they went in to the double digits and always left the toilet seat up no matter how many times you’d remind him to put it down.

You never viewed him to be anyone other than the man you were in a relationship with and he never did or said anything to make you feel uncomfortable in your relationship. He did his best to keep in touch with you as much as he could and he used every minute of his free time to check up on you and make sure you were doing okay. Your happiness was Mark’s number one priority and he did anything in his power to make sure you were happy and got whatever you wanted.

“I missed you too. I actually took the rest of the week off because a little birdie told me you guys don’t have any schedule until Tuesday so I want to spend as much time with you as possible. I’m all yours Mark. Do whatever you want with me.”

You regretted those words the minute they fell from your lips because of the mischievous grin that quickly rose on his face. Mark was a very playful and cheeky guy. From previous experience, you learned that your boyfriend had many tricks up his sleeve. Making love to you was his favorite past time and he would take advantage of any time he physically had with you.

“Anything?” You nodded in agreement; you’d be lying if you said you weren’t excited to see what Mark had planned for the two of you but knowing him, it had to deal with him being the dominant one and maybe even getting to accomplish one of his kinks.

“Yes, but to an extent. No anal—don’t look at me like that I told you it’s a big no babe. Oh and no bondage. You know how I get when I’m tied up. But I do want to try that one position I sent to you.” His grip on your waist tightened and he sneakily hid his face in the crook of your neck only to leave a couple of sloppy love bites there.

“Mmm, I’ll do anything you ask of me baby. Why don’t we skip breakfast and I can eat you out instead—ow! I hope you’re this rough with me in bed later on.”

The airport was extremely busy today and Mark cursed his manager for scheduling a couple of photo shoots for him during one of the busiest seasons of the year; winter. Everyone was either going on a trip or returning home for one and with him being the former, he was frustrated with how long the lines at security were and how many paparazzi showed up at his gate just to take photos of him.

It wasn’t that Mark didn’t love being an idol. He loved performing and entertaining all of his fans alongside of his six best friends. He loved writing songs, loved traveling the world and experiencing so many different cultures, food and adventures while they were on tour. However, he was willing to give it all up if it meant getting you back in his life. You were everything Mark could ever want and need in his life.

The two of you were together for almost four years and if soulmates existed, you were Mark’s as he was yours. You meant the world to him and he loved you more than he could ever put in to words. Which is why he was completely devastated when you told him you were breaking up with him. The break up wasn’t completely unexpected; that is why Mark wasn’t too shocked when you told him you could no longer handle the long distance and that you felt like you weren’t too important to him.

Mark knew that wasn’t the truth and he could only hope that you didn’t ultimately think so either, but after five months of being away from you, it gave Mark time to think where he went wrong and what caused you to finally give up on your relationship with him. Being an idol wasn’t all that easy, but dating one must’ve been ten times more difficult.

Not only was he gone most of the time, but the time difference really did interfere with your communication schedule. If he was waking up, you were getting ready for bed and if he was right about to go to sleep, you were clocking in to work. You only really ever got to talk to him on the weekends if you were lucky and even if Mark did his best to contact you and to check up on you, it wasn’t the same as spending time with him and talking with him face to face rather than through a phone screen.

Then came your insecurities. Mark knew how insecure you could get when it came to dating him. If he was in your shoes, he’d be pretty insecure too, so it was understandable. But he never failed to reassure you that you were the only girl he genuinely ever loved and planned on loving for the rest of his life. He told you on a daily basis that he planned on marrying you and settling down with you one day once his idol life were to simmer down.

You tried your best to be patient and understanding when it came to dating him because not only was he in a relationship with you, but he was in a relationship with his career and as much as Mark tried to prioritize you and your relationship, deep down you knew you’d always come second to his job. When you confessed your feelings and thoughts to him, to say he was upset that you were breaking up with him was an understatement.

Did you fall out of love with him? Was there someone else? Did you finally come to the realization that you deserved better? There were so many thoughts that ran through his head and all he could do was sink to his knees and cry while pathetically wrapping his arms around your legs and begging you to stay. In your four years of dating, Mark grew to know what an independent and determined person you were and how you had such a great head on your shoulders.

He knew that when you set your heart to something, you always accomplished it; a breakup was no different and no matter how many times he’d beg and pleaded for you to stay, your mind was already made up and there was nothing he could do to stop you. Mark knew it was selfish to want you to stay. Your relationship wasn’t the healthiest; the two of you had your fair share of arguments and disagreements. But your love was always enough to defeat any negative thought or idea you had.

This time was different though and you were extremely tired of not being as important to Mark as he was to you. You put him on a pedestal; you gave him the world on a silver platter and he could barely give you a couple minutes of his time because he was always so busy. For months, you’ve been debating on breaking up with him, especially because you were so in love with him and just like Mark, you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him and only him.

However, the longer you continued your relationship, the more unhappy you became and sometimes it felt as if you weren’t even in a relationship. Breaking up with Mark was the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do in your entire life and as soon as he sank on to the floor, sobbing and heaving; begging you to change your mind, you knew you made a mistake. Mark has never been the same since you’ve left.

Although it’s been over five months since the night you broke his heart and took whatever was left of it with you, things only got worse for him as the days went on. He missed you more and more every day and even if the guys did their best in cheering him up and attempting to help him move on by setting him up with other girls, there was just no getting over you.

As soon as Mark and his manager got settle down at their gate, they took their seats and Mark decided to stay away from his phone for a while. Sometimes, all the comments, posts, direct messages and tweets on social media could be so toxic and he couldn’t help but overthink at all the negativity. It was in those moments where he would run to you.

Other than Got7 and his family, you were the only person he trusted and he trusted you with his entire life. That says a lot. Mark was an extremely private person. He had a hard time trusting and opening up to people. The only reason why he portrayed himself as such a shy and introverted person was because he didn’t want people taking advantage of him and his kindness.

After meeting you, getting to know you and dating you for so long, Mark learned that his happiness, health and success was your main priority. You always stayed up until the wee hours of the morning to talk to him and to listen to him vent about his worries and all of his problems and not once did you complain about how tired you probably were or how repetitive he was sounding but that’s because you loved him so much and wanted to be there for him no matter what time it was, who you were with or what you were doing.

You’d drop anything and everyone for Mark and he was forever grateful. You were so selfless and never expected anything in return for your patience and generosity. Mark always felt so safe with you. You were his home and God, he was homesick. He took a look at his passport in disgust. This was one of the main reasons why you could no longer handle being in a relationship with him.

Almost every single page was filled out with many difference countries and cities all around the world. China, Japan, Australia, New York, Russia, Italy, Brazil, Philippines. He only had a couple of pages left to fill up and he knew he’d need a new passport by the end of the month. What bothered him even more was knowing that he had just gotten this passport less than five months ago.

Right after he returned back home to your upsetting decision, his management gave him a new passport and informed him that he had a schedule in Thailand just three days later. It wasn’t that he hated traveling; no. Mark loved seeing all these different places, trying their food, meeting their people and learning about their cultures.

It was being away from you that he hated the most. No matter how many times you told him you were excited for him to explore and live his best life, he knew you wanted to be there alongside of him experiencing it all too because that’s all he wanted. Every high that went on in his life, he wanted you right there by his side basking in his excitement with him.

Learning how to live without you was a painful experience and he became so unhappy to the point where he took a few days off from the tour in order to see a therapist for his depression. Mark knew how much you meant to him the minute he told Jaebeom he wanted to leave Got7 in order to be with you.

The leader thought it was an extremely abrupt and stupid decision on Mark’s part but he understood where his older friend was coming from. He witnessed the way you and Mark looked at one another. If he had to describe what love was, it was in your gazes alone that could explain what the four letter word meant.

Everyone and their mothers knew just how much you and Mark loved and cared for one another. When Mark told the six of them that you broke up with him, they were in disbelief. Sure, the six of them had girlfriends and even a couple of flings and one night stands every now and then but you were the only constant girlfriend amongst their group and they all felt that you both would get married to each other once their careers were to settle down.

Jinyoung and Jackson were the closest with Mark; so they saw just how much the breakup had wrecked him and no matter how much they tried to tell him that you were going to come back and that you just needed some time without him, he didn’t believe anything anyone had to say. If you still loved him, you’d still be with him no matter how hard your relationship was. The passport began to taunt him the longer he stared at it.

“This is all your fucking fault.” He began to flick at the pages earning himself a look of confusion from his manager.

“Hey, everything okay?” Mark shook his head in disagreement.

“I’m just tired. I’ll go get some coffee or something. Be right back.”

He didn’t care what his manager’s response was and he couldn’t care less if he were to get followed. Mark wasn’t even much of a coffee person. You were taking up the entirety of his thinking process and he just needed some time to think. Something to distract him. When he walked up to the coffee shop, there were two people in front of him but he paid none of them any mind and went on his phone.

The guys were wishing him safe travels and hoped that the photo shoot and filming for a reality tv show he was going to be on went well. A small smile rose on his face at the idea of how much they all loved and cared about him. He really didn’t know what he were to do or how he would cope without them.

“I’ll have a venti iced matcha latte. Thank you.”

It was in that moment that time froze. He knew that voice anywhere. It was etched in to the back of his head and imprinted on his heart. Your laugh along with your sweet, soft voice was one of Mark’s favorite sounds and he would listen to you talk all day if he could. He looked at the person currently at the cash register and shook his head in disbelief. Mark had to be hallucinating. It must’ve been the lack of sleep. There was no way that could’ve been you.

The girl had extremely short hair, up to her shoulders compared to the long, silky waves you’ve had for the last few years that Mark loved so much. She was also wearing something completely different than what you had in your wardrobe. The older boy knew you like the back of his hand. He knew each and every curve on your body; on top of every birth and beauty mark scattered throughout your skin. Surely he would’ve known if it was you. It was possible for someone to have the same exact voice as you—wasn’t it?

Sure, the girl ordered your favorite drink, but everyone seemed to be in to matcha these days. It didn’t mean anything. Bringing his attention back to his phone, he tried his best to take his mind off of comparing you and the girl in front of him. However, once the cashier asked for the girl’s name, his entire world came crashing down on him.

“Y/n.”

It was you. But so much has changed about you in the last few months. Once you got out of line and made your way off to the side, it was in that moment Mark confirmed that yes, it was you. So many questions began running through his mind. What were you doing there at the airport? Why did you cut your hair and change your style? Was it an effect of the breakup? Did you know he was there? You had to—or least have heard that some kind of celebrity was there with the way that the paparazzi and fans were filling up the gateway.

A part of him wanted to turn around and pretend as if he didn’t see you, but another part of him, one he understood was his heart was begging for him to go and talk to you. It would be alright wouldn’t it? It’s been months and the two of you started off as friends in the first place. It was only normal for him to say hi. Matter of a fact, it would’ve been rude if he didn’t. Once he made his way up to the cashier, he was quick to see the way a grin quickly rose on her face.

“Hi, what can I get for you to—today.” He gave her a polite smile before looking up at the menu board.

“Just a grande iced caramel macchiato with two shots of espresso please—oh and one cream cheese scone. Thank you.” He reached out to take out his wallet but she shook her head.

“It’s on the house Mark. I’m a huge fan. Have a nice rest of your day.”

He thanked her politely and wished her a nice day before making his way toward where you were standing. You were currently on your phone and he began to have an internal argument with himself on whether or not he should go up and talk to you. What could go wrong?

Well, you could pretend as if you didn’t know who he was and just leave him looking like an idiot, or you could start a conversation with him like you normally did. Right as he was about to open his mouth and say something to you, his order was being called. He looked over to where you were standing to see if hearing his name had any effect on you, but you continued to stand there and scrolled through your phone.

Just go you idiot. She’s obviously moved on, let her be.

Listening to his conscience would’ve been the smart thing to do, but Mark was never all that bright and he bought that scone specifically for you. Taking in a deep breath, he walked over to you and before he could say anything, you looked up to see the new presence that joined you in the corner and practically jumped as if you saw a ghost. Although you looked completely different, you still looked breathtakingly beautiful.

You lost some weight which was expected from how hard you’ve been working, you weren’t wearing any makeup other than what Mark knew was tinted moisturizer and when he noticed you were wearing the necklace he bought for you on your third anniversary, his heart rate increased.

“Hey.”

You continued to look up at him in shock and he couldn’t help the giggle that fell from his lips at how adorable you looked. Your eyes were widened in shock and it was as though you saw a ghost. Technically, he was considerably a ghost of your past—so seeing your blank expression did tug on his heartstrings. He might have thought that approaching you was a good idea once he first laid his eyes on you and confirmed that it was indeed you, but now he was regretting it. When he realized you weren’t going to say anything, he handed you the scone.

“I uh—I got this for you. I know how much you love your cream cheese scones.”

After taking in a couple of deep breaths, you finally allowed yourself to process what was going on and that’s when you felt a tear fall down your cheek.

“Thank you. Um—hi—sorry, I—hi. How have you been?”

Although it was you who initiated the break up, you found yourself following and keeping up with everything Got7 was doing. Specifically the man standing in front of you. Seeing him again after your last night together made you feel a whole bunch of emotions. You were excited but your heart felt as if it was about to burst out of your chest. You had no right to crave his presence, you broke his heart and decided you no longer wanted to be the lucky girl who got to love him and be loved by him.

It wasn’t that you wanted to break up with him. Breaking up with Mark was the biggest mistake you’ve ever made. He was your person. Your soulmate. Your safe haven. The man standing in front of you was all you wanted for the rest of your life. But it was all getting too much for you at one point. The long distance was getting too much for you to handle.

Then came the rumors; no matter how quick he was to shut down any rumor, it was only natural for you to grow insecure and feel as if there was something going on with him and the idols he was included in rumors with. Your mental health was worsening the longer he was away and it was affecting your job and your education. You knew that breaking up with him was a permanent decision and that there was no going back once it happened. However, all you knew and have ever known was Mark.

You always lived for him; always put him first. You needed to live without him. You needed to grow and learn to love yourself before you could continue loving him. The feeling of his finger wiping away the tear that fell made butterflies erupt in your tummy. His touch felt all too familiar yet so foreign and you wanted nothing more than for him to continue.

“I’m uh—I’m alright. What are you doing here? You look extremely beautiful by the way. Although, I always preferred your long hair, short hair looks really good on you.”

You didn’t have to see yourself to know your cheeks were probably red from his sweet words. Mark always knew exactly what to say to make you blush. Plus, it’s been a while since someone complimented you and the last time someone did, it just so happened to be the beautiful boy standing in front of you. Mark complimented you on a daily basis as if his life depended on it. He was very vocal about wanting you to know just how beautiful you are and how he thinks the entire world of you.

“Thank you. I wanted to try something new I guess. It was getting too hard to manage and Korea is extremely hot during the summer. You look great! Your hair is really long now, but I like it. I’m actually going to Vietnam for a conference. What about you?”

He gave you a knowing look as he shrugged indifferently. He didn’t want to bring it up, he was afraid of what would happen once he brought up work. The last thing he wanted was to ruin things before they could even begin to bloom.

“I have a couple of photo shoots in China and then I’m meeting BamBam in Thailand for a reality show. What time is your flight?”

There was nothing more that Mark wanted than to pull you in to his embrace but he was afraid of your reaction. It’s been so long since he last held you in his arms and he still had yet to really understand why you left, but he wanted you to come back home. He wanted you to come back to him.

No matter how many wonderful things happened to him on a daily basis, nothing else mattered to him the way you and your presence did. He couldn’t fathom in to words just how much you were a literal ray of sunshine on his many cloudy days. He was nothing without you; and he didn’t realize just how much of a positive impact you had on him until you were no longer his. You were his reason; the meaning behind his entire existence.

A life without you was one he no longer wanted to continue living. You were at the same airport at the exact same time—it had to mean something. Mark knew you like the back of his hand; being with someone for such a long time would do that to you. He could tell what you were thinking or how you were feeling just by looking at you and your mannerisms, yet looking at you right now, he had no idea what was on your mind and it worried him.

Were you also thinking that the two of you meeting in the same area after months of being apart was a sign that the two of you were meant to do so? You were a firm believer in fate, soulmates and anything that had to deal with supernatural powers. Did that mean you too felt the same way Mark was currently feeling? You had to. You lived in Los Angeles and you only ever visited Korea when you were still dating Mark.

There wasn’t a reason he could think of for you to come back. His flight could have been the day before and yours could have been set for the next week but no. You were both there; both deciding to stop by for coffee before your flights. This was no coincidence and even if it was, Mark was currently thanking whatever higher power brought the two of you to the airport that day.

He was determined to bring you back in to his life, even if it was just to be a friend. Since the break up, you practically dropped off the face of the earth. You deleted every single social media account, changed your number and you even had your mom come up with excuses as to why you no longer wanted anything to do with him. There was no way he could keep up with you, so he had no idea if you already had someone else in your life.

He wasn’t going to do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable, but he was going to do whatever he possibly could to return things back to what they were. He missed his old self; the Mark he was back when he had a purpose. Back when he had something—someone worth fighting for. Someone worth surviving for.

You. It’s always been you from the time you walked in to his life all those years ago and it’s always going to be you.

There was really no getting over you. You were the owner of his heart and he was afraid that he would be alone for the rest of his life because he was confident you were it for him. He’s been thinking about you every single day since you told him you no longer wanted to be with him anymore. How were you doing? How long have you been wanting a breakup for? When did you realize Mark wasn’t the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? If you were suffering and missing him the way he was with you?

The two of you could have worked things out; he knew there was a lot more meaning behind your words. Deep down, Mark knew a huge part of your decision to break up with him was because of his career. The idol life was extremely rough; the guys received so much hate on a daily basis, their company treated them like shit and they didn’t get the recognition they obviously deserved.

They promised Mark many different photo shoots, deals with top fashion houses like Hermès, Chanel and Tiffany co. They also told him that he could return back to California to spend time with his family. Unfortunately, every single thing the company promised to him turned out to be a lie. Some of the other members got to experiment with acting, dancing and putting out solo albums.

However, every time Mark would bring up wanting to try out any of these activities, his company was quick to shut him down every single time. He had a gut feeling that a lot of the employees under the division that made the decisions all had it out for him and he never understood why. The older boy was one of the kindest, generous, soft spoken and gentle people not only in the company but just in general.

In fact, it was Mark’s polite personality that caught the attention of the people who scouted him over a decade ago. Honestly, the mistreatment was getting too much for him to handle. He knew he and the rest of Got7 deserved so much better. They all had so much potential to be one of the greatest groups in KPOP, but their company continued to hold them back for no reason at all. All the mistreatment they were receiving on top of losing you—it got too much for Mark to handle and at one point, he even thought about leaving Got7. He didn’t have the courage to talk to any of the members about his feelings or anyone for that matter.

Although he didn’t know the entire reasoning behind your sudden disappearance, it didn’t take a genius to know that you were fed up dating a KPOP idol. Hell, even if Mark knew you were the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, he wasn’t wholeheartedly sure that you felt that way too. For all he knew, every time you talked about your future with him, you could have said it in the moment.

Nobody knows what the future holds but God—Mark wanted nothing more than for you to end up in his. If he could, he would go back in to the past and change everything negative that went on in your relationship. The two of you hardly ever got in to arguments; there wasn’t anything for the two of you to fight about. Sure, there were a couple disagreements every now and then, but it was only ever about food or chores. If and when the two of you did argue, It was about the distance.

Got7 had gone on tour every single year since the beginning of your relationship. Their tours normally lasted for six months and unfortunately, being a full time college student with a full time job prevented you from getting to travel along with him. This meant that you only ever saw him when he was in Korea and even then, he would be at practice or in the studio.

It had to be hard on you; you were still so young and quite the romantic. It was only natural for you to want to be around your boyfriend as much as you could. Mark hated any time spent away from you. As much as he loved hanging out with Got7, if he had the choice, he’d spend all of his time with you. If only he tried harder for you—if only he fought harder to get you to stay, he’d still be coming home to you and finding solace in your arms after a long day. He wouldn’t be so torn—so broken and so depressed. You brought out the best in him; you might have been standing right in front of him, but you were so far away.

“I’m actually supposed to be heading to my gate here pretty soon. My flight is in an hour but we’ll be boarding in less than half an hour—“

“Order for y/n!”

You gave him a small smile and walked over to the counter, quickly taking your beverage and making your way back over to him. Mark could feel his heart rate rapidly beating against his chest. Did he really spend almost five years of his life with you? It felt like a fever dream? He felt like a school boy watching you—his gaze not leaving your frame once.

“Oh—cool.”

“What about you?”

“My flight isn’t for another two hours. My manager just wanted to get here early so that we wouldn’t have to worry about checking in.”

The truth was, Mark and his manager weren’t actually supposed to be there so early. In most of his trips, they would show up to the airport with only minutes to make it to their gate. Since they would always fly first class, there wasn’t too much of a wait. That’s why he knew seeing you there was more than just a mere coincidence.

You hummed in understanding and averted your gaze to the ground. Seeing your sudden change in emotion on top of your now awkward demeanor made his stomach sore. Being an idol was a once in a lifetime experience which he was extremely grateful for. He loved performing, he loved meeting fans and traveling the world with his six other best friends. But he would give everything up just to be the man you called your husband.

That’s all he ever wanted. Being an idol would never allow him that freedom whatsoever and that was one of the cons he hated the most about his career. If people were to know that he was in a relationship with you, then maybe the two of you wouldn’t have had so many arguments about the dating rumors that surrounded him.

KPOP fans could be so delusional sometimes. Whenever two idols would interact with each other or simply glance at one another, people would call them out and say that they were dating. Mark being the friendly person he was would always do things for the female idols he would work alongside. He knew that no matter how many times he would reassure you that there was nothing going on with him and a female idol, it was only human of you to grow insecure and feel as though something was up. He was very jealous and insecure whenever it came to you.

One time, you went out with a few of your friends to a bar and got plastered to the point where one of your guy friends had to take you home. Since nobody other than the members of Got7 and both his and your family members knew about your relationship, this meant that Mark had yet to meet your group of friends but he was familiar with a few of them because you would talk to him about them.

This friend however, wasn’t one that he was aware of, nor did he want to be. When he heard a buzz on his door and opened it to see your friend carrying you bridal style with your arms wrapped tightly around his neck as your face was smashed against his chest, he could feel is blood boiling and it wasn’t a good feeling.

You weren’t purposely trying to make him jealous and because you didn’t think too highly of yourself in the first place, you didn’t think Mark had any reason to be jealous. He wanted to rip you from out of your friend’s arms and hide you away—it wasn’t that he was jealous of your friend’s looks although Mark could see that he was pretty good looking. Mark wasn’t cocky, he was very humble but he was well aware he was extremely handsome. Yet, he knew that your friend could give you what Mark couldn’t.

Your friend could provide for you in ways that Mark couldn’t. Your friend could spend all of his time with you—call you and text you on an hourly basis. There were so many men that could do things for you that Mark wasn’t physically able to and it bothered him. Come to think of it, although he had no right to worry about what you did anymore, he was curious if you were in a relationship—and if you were dating that friend.

He never said anything about it once you sobered you the next day in fear of a fight breaking out, but he’s been very cautious about who you hung out with while he was away. Mark was confident in the love that you held for him. You would confess your love for him physically and verbally every single day, so cheating wasn’t even a thought on his mind. However, he was afraid of you coming to the realization that you didn’t want to continue staying in a relationship with someone you hardly ever saw.

“Nice! Oh, congratulations by the way! You finally released a solo song. I’m so proud of you! It’s amazing by the way. I had to look up the English translation since I don’t speak a word of Chinese, but it was beautiful.”

I wrote it about you.

From the day you walked out on him up until now, every single song he wrote was about you. Missing you—wishing you were still his, wanting to give up the game and fortune to be with you. The misery he was suffering; every word he wrote came straight from his heart. You actually kept up with him? You actually listened to his music? It didn’t come as a shocker; you were the definition of supportive.

If you were able to, you’d attend their concerts, you’d constantly listen to their music and you’d wear and even purchase some merchandise. Everything you did never failed to put a smile on his face. Why did he take you for granted? Whoever said the famous line you never know what you have until it’s gone was right and he hated that they were.

“Thanks. I’m glad that you enjoyed it.”

That had to be the understatement of the year. He was over the moon that you listened to it. Right as he released the song, you were the first person he wanted to hear it. You were who the song was written about, so of course he wanted you to listen to it. It made him wonder though, how did you stumble across of it? Were you just scrolling on social media and it popped up, or did you search his name—curious as to how he was doing?

What did you think about the lyrics? Did you think he wrote it about you? You had to know; you were the only girl in his life, a lot of the songs he’s written for Got7 were about you and you were aware of it. This time was no different. He had no intentions of telling you, well, at least not right now. But he was hoping you already knew without him having to confess it to you. Silence surrounded the both of you and he mentally cursed himself for not knowing what to say. Mark felt like an idiot. There were so many questions he had and so many things he wanted to tell you, but it wasn’t the time and he didn’t want to scare you away.

“I should get going. I can’t afford to miss my flight. It was nice seeing you again Mark. I hope you have a wonderful day and a safe trip. Take care.”

You gently waved at him and thanked him once more for the scone. His heart began to beg him to at least go in for a hug or to ask you to maybe start all over. It’s been so long since he last held you in his arms and it just felt so tempting. Only then did he realize where he was and there was no way he could get caught hugging someone—even more so his ex-girlfriend. Korean reporters would have a field day.

“You too. Have fun in Vietnam!”

With one last smile, you were gone and it all felt like deja vu to him. Seeing you walk away with your luggage brought back painful memories of him crying on the kitchen floor, wrapping himself around your leg—begging you to rethink your decision. He felt like such a child then, not allowing you to leave because he could tell that once you were to finally leave the apartment, that was it. This time though, it hurt him so much more.

You were back in his life even if it were only for a couple of minutes. He had hope—he prayed that seeing him again would make you realize that you missed him and that maybe at the time, the break up was something you thought would be a good idea but now you were regretting it. He dragged himself slowly back to his gate and slumped in to the chair next to his manager. If the older man thought something was wrong, he didn’t say anything and Mark was glad.

This manager was one of his favorites. He was very nice to Mark and took good care of him. However, he knew it was protocol for him to report any funny business back to the higher ups in the company. The image of you began to haunt him; he couldn’t think straight knowing you were less than a mile away from him. He started to weigh out his options; there was no way he’d allow this chance to go to waste.

It’s only been a few months; but heartbreak really does change a person. He didn’t want to suffer anymore. That’s why he found himself standing up and apologizing to his manager, stating that he’d be right back. Knowing that you were just minutes away from boarding, he practically sprinted throughout the gates—doing his best to find the flight to Vietnam. It wasn’t as if there were many gates. All Asian countries were in the same area and both China and Japan were next to his gate, so he had a hunch your gate wasn’t too far away.

“Flight 0904 to Vietnam will start boarding passengers in ten minutes. Please begin making your way to the gate.”

He swore under his breath as he was running around looking like a madman. Only you had this effect on him. At this point, he didn’t even care if someone recognized him and either took photos of him or recorded him. He needed to find you and tell you how he felt.

There was a possibility that you’d either freeze or tell him that you didn’t feel anything for him any more. In that case, there was nothing he could do about it. He’d just have to accept the truth as it was. Once he saw the word Vietnam in bold letters, he took a sharp turn and looked throughout the passengers—wanting nothing more than to finally find you. Actually, it didn’t take too long for his vision to land on you.

Mark could point you out in a crowded room. In concerts with thousands of fans in attendance, he would always find you without trouble. That’s just how love worked. He wasted no time walking towards you and immediately sank down on his knees. There were so many red flags going off in his mind, telling him to turn around and that it was too late but he refused to listen.

It took you a couple of seconds to register what was happening and you brought your gaze up to the other passengers who were waiting to board. Their expressions of shock and interest made it clear to you that no—you weren’t hallucinating. Seeing him in the coffee shop was already a lot to take in. It almost felt like you were asleep and you dreamt this entire thing but no; he was kneeling right in front of you.

“Mark, what are you—“

“I shouldn’t have let you go. Not ten minutes ago. Not five months ago. Fuck—I couldn’t just sit and pretend that it’s a coincidence that we’re both here. You know me better than anyone else y/n, I never used to believe in that fate bullshit. But that was before you became my life. I could have flew out yesterday and you could have flown out later on this evening but here we are. At the exact same airport at the exact same time. You never told me why you left—I’ve been trying to come up with reasons for myself just so I could get closure but nothing makes sense. Look—I know I was a shit boyfriend and I know you deserve someone so much better than me, but I’m selfish. All I’ve ever wanted in my life was someone who could love me the way you do—the way you did so passionately. I know I took you for granted and there aren’t enough words in the English dictionary for me to explain just how sorry I am for all that I’ve put you through. I’m sorry for not being there for you as much as I should have, I’m sorry for not giving you the love and support you’ve never failed to give me, I’m sorry for not giving you the time and attention you deserved. There’s no excuse for my actions, there really isn’t. But I just need you to know, these past few months have been an actual living hell for me. I didn’t realize how blessed I was to have you in my life until you were no longer mine. I don’t expect you to come back to me. I’m sure you were suffering in our relationship, so this is my karma. I just want you to know that I still love you, I never stopped and I don’t think I ever will. That’s what scares me the most. Damnit, I don’t even know if you’re in a relationship or not. I shouldn’t have assumed—ahhh, forget I said anything. Have a safe flight.”

You felt the need to throw up. It wasn’t a bad feeling, but it was one of those situations where you were extremely lightheaded and on the verge of passing out. Why did he think that confessing all of that was the right thing to do? Especially in the middle of an airport with dozens of eyes now staring at the both of you. It’s as though he knew exactly what he was doing putting you on the spot like that. He knew you’d give in to him seeing as though you brought attention to a growing crowd.

People enjoy watching couple’s drama and the thing was, Mark wasn’t exactly quiet while pouring out his heart to you. Then again, you knew Mark wasn’t the type to do that. He was extremely soft spoken, so with the way he was practically raising his voice at you, it was obvious he meant business.

You were hoping that nobody would recognize him—fearing that he would get in a lot of trouble if word were to get out about the two of you. His reaction amazed you though; he didn’t seem the least bit phased at the idea of both his and your photo being plastered all over newspapers.

You could see the headlines now; KPOP idol Mark Tuan causes a scene with unknown female at airport. Is this his current girlfriend? Or a former flame?

The gentle tug on your shirt is what broke you out of your thoughts. His pained expression felt like a slap to your face. He was right; you never gave him an actual reasoning for breaking up with him, but who could blame you? You were a coward. If you were to tell him of your insecurities and the fact that you were genuinely unhappy because you couldn’t even consider your relationship a legitimate one, he would have made promises on changing and making things better and you would probably have listened to him and these last couple of months would never had happened. But you were confident that nothing would change.

You weren’t stupid; Mark was both a man of words and actions and it was a trait of his that you appreciated. Yet, sometimes he made promises only to break them not too long after. A lot of the time though, it wasn’t his fault. His schedule kept him from many dates, vacations, trips to visit your family and just spending time together back at your shared apartment. You’d always feel like the odd one out; being the only person without a significant other.

Things like that never really bothered you until one of your friends pulled you to the side after dinner and asked you if you could really see yourself putting up with the current situation you were in with Mark for however long more he’d be an idol for. You should have been honest with him; he deserved to know the truth but then again, you were very good at running away from your problems.

Although her words weren’t the only reason why you ended things, they did open your eyes to the fact that if you did continue to stay with Mark, you’d lose yourself completely. Mark was your main priority. You would always put him first no matter how busy or tired you were. It was when you realize he never did the same for you that you accepted the idea of leaving him for good. Hearing him confess that he was still in love with you though, and that he was genuinely nothing without you made you feel something you haven’t quite felt since you left.

Even if you were the one who decided that you didn’t want to continue having him as your person for the time being, your romantic feelings for Mark never stopped nor did they ever waver. There were days where you missed him dearly; even if he was gone all the time, he was still your boyfriend and they two of you stayed in contact enough for you to forget about the distance even if it were just for a little while.

Sometimes, you’d find yourself typing in his number and writing a message to him, but then you’d stop yourself mid sentence, only then remembering the breakup and that you were the one who initiated it. You constantly reminded yourself that the breakup was the best decision you could make not only for you but for Mark too.

Your relationship probably held him back from so much and although he never once complained about having a significant other, you could visibly see that he was exhausted from all of his scheduled activities—having to come home, entertain you and show you affection had to add on more weight to his shoulders. You couldn’t blame him for being so tired; Got7 practiced for ten to twelve hours a day then they’d go straight in to the studio to write and record songs.

They’d also film reality tv shows and other kinds of segments, so when he’d come home—his body language would speak for him since he never seemed to have the courage to tell you that he was worn out from a long day. The idea of wanting him back was stupid since you were the one who walked away. But you missed him just as much as he claimed to miss you. You wished things could be different so that you could actually enjoy the experience of an actual relationship—yet, you would rather go months without seeing Mark, kissing him, holding him and being held by him, running to him whenever life could get too tough and being the girl that all his fans and the people who adored him could only wish to be in the place of.

You were confident that there would be no one else for you and being without him for such a long time made you accept that you no longer wanted to continue doing so anymore. You continued to sit there; not knowing what to say or do really. Your mind was drawing a complete blank. Slowly, Mark got up from off the floor and softly bowed in your direction, taking the silence as your answer. As he began to walk away, the tight grip on his wrist made him smile like an idiot to himself.

“When do you get back?” He turned around and looked at you in curiosity, but quickly grabbed his phone from out of his back pocket and flipped through his calendar faster than you’ve ever seen anyone do before.

“Two weeks. How come?”

“Can you wait for me?”

Wait, did this mean what he could only hope and dream that it meant? Were you—were you going to give him another chance? Sure, he would have preferred an explanation as to why you broke up with him and what went on in your mind for the last couple of months. But he understood that there was a time and place for such a serious topic.

He wasn’t thinking when he literally poured out his heart out to you. When the two of you were together, the entire world would disappear. Maybe that’s why he pushed away the thought of causing a scene in the middle of an airport, surrounded by at least fifty strangers. He lost all his sanity whenever it came to you and he was just so focused on trying to bring you back in to his life to even care about the consequences that would come with the news of his relationship with you.

“Of course I can—I’ll wait however long I need to for you. But, um—what am I going to be waiting for?” To his surprise yet excitement, you brought one of your hands up to his face and gently grazed his cheek. He wasted no time leaning his face in to your palm and left a soft kiss against your wrist.

“I’m yours, if you’ll have me again. I’ve missed you, more than I’m willing to admit. I won’t lie and say I made a mistake in breaking up with you. We needed this—well, I needed this. I gave my entire being; my mind, heart, body and soul to you. I did everything for you. To make you happy and by doing so, I became so depressed. I wasn’t myself anymore and I wanted to fall back in love with myself before I could continue loving you. You’re right, there’s no way us meeting up is mere coincidence. As soon as you walked up to me, I knew God brought us together. I love you Mark. I’m sorry, I know I have a lot of explaining to do but it’s going to have to wait. I love you, so much. I’ve missed you so much.”

Without hesitance or scanning the area to see whether or not the eyes were still on you, he threw himself at you and connected your lips with his. Although it’s been a while since you’ve last kissed him, your lips melded perfectly together as if the break never happened. His lips were soft and tasted like cherry chapstick and coffee.

God, how did you go so long without kissing the beautiful man in front of you? As much as you wanted to continue your little make out session, only then did it occur to you that you and Mark weren’t alone and that there was a chance someone recognized him. He whined adorably when you pulled your mouth away from his but with the knowing look you sent his way, he understood why you did so.

“Wow, I just—wow. Kissing you was always one of my favorite past times with you. Well, other than cuddling, taking naps, making love and—ow! What? I’m being honest baby. I’ve missed every single thing about you. I’m so fucking happy. This time will be different, I promise. I know how it is to live without you and let me tell you, it was actual hell on earth. Every single day felt like a month. Not hearing that contagious laugh of yours, not seeing that breathtaking smile and not having your arms around me—it fucking sucked. I should’ve fought harder to prevent you from leaving, but none of that matters anymore. You’re here now. You’re back in my life and I have no intention on ever letting you go again. I love you so much y/n, more than you’ll ever be able to fathom with that pretty head of yours.”

He pulled you in for a tight hug; placing his chin on your head and rubbing your back soothingly. The two of you stood there for a couple of minutes, it didn’t even hit you that he was there and that he was going to be yours again. Honestly, you wanted to just say fuck it and reach out to your supervisor, stating that you were unable to make it to Vietnam. Now that the two of you were rekindling your relationship, you wanted to be around him as much as you could. You trusted that he was going to keep his word and take care of you this time. He left soft kisses in your hair and began running his hands along your sides.

“Mmm—I’ve missed this.”

“Me too.” He was about to lean in for another kiss but you playfully leaned away.

“Babeeeee—“

“Mark, if anyone recognizes you—“

“I don’t give a shit. Let them. If people find out that I’m in love, then good. I want everyone to know about you. My heart has been yours for years now and it’s going to stay that way for the rest of our lives. I’d give up being an idol if it meant finally getting to settle down and start living the life we’ve always wanted. If I can’t wait too long, maybe I’ll just fly to Vietnam and we can—“

“Flight 0904 to Vietnam is now boarding. Please take out your tickets and start heading to the gate.” A soft groan fell from Mark’s lips and you took this time to steal a few kisses from him. He smiled against your lips and cheekily squeezed your waist. “Do you still have the same number?”

“Mhm, you?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. I never deleted it, but just like everything else about you, your number is tattooed on my heart. Have a safe flight. Text me as soon as you land. Have a great trip baby. I’ll try to call and text you as much as possible. I love you y/n. Thank you for coming back to me. See you soon.”

#got7 imagines #mark tuan #mark tuan imagines #got7 #got7 mark

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ahundredtimesover · 3 years

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He’s Leaving (FNTO 2)

They weren’t kidding when they said everything you touch turns into a mess.

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: strangers to friends to lovers, popstar/idol!jk, fluff, angst, future smut; this is a dialogue-heavy series so read if you’re into that! JK’s angry in this one

Warnings: foul language, these characters talk alot bc I talk alot, eventual smut

Word count: ~12,000

Series summary: You meet pop star/idol Jeon Jungkook at the cafe, you get close, and as Hyejin says, you’re like friends with benefits without the sex. But you’re bad at feelings and so is he.

series masterlist

A/N: This takes place 7 months after that night Y/N’s ex shows up! Italicized parts refer to past events. And since I’d mentioned this was initially for Harry, I remember now that Home by 1D was my mood for this, so listen to it as soundtrack (getting emotional while listening to it & thinking about how this ends)!

He’s leaving.

You stare blankly at the wall dividing your living room and bedroom and say the words once more, in your head and then out of your mouth.

He’s leaving.

You say it over and over again, alternating between question and statement.

Jungkook’s leaving.

“Yes, Y/N, that’s what I just said.” Jimin mutters over the phone.

“But why? I mean, since when does he leave ahead of all of you guys?”

“He decided to schedule a meeting with one of the producers he’s working with for his mixtape. It isn’t with your cousin, though, otherwise Jieun would’ve told you,” Jimin responds.

It’s the first week of August and the first show of the next leg of their world tour isn’t until a week from now, but Jungkook’s already headed to L.A. and he didn't even tell you about it. In fact, he hasn't said a word to you in the last five days, which is oddly surprising.

“He hasn't spoken to you?” Jimin asks, picking up on your thoughts. Perhaps your silence gave away the frustration you were feeling.

“Nope,” you reply, the sadness in your voice unmistakable.

“I hope you don't think I’m one of those people who’s gotten so attached to him that being ignored for five days feels like the end of the world… because it really isn’t. I’m just worried and confused,” you continue.

You aren’t blind. Jungkook’s surrounded by women, some vying for his attention, some wanting it back. They’d act out either way, displeasing him although he’d never say it out loud, but you were pretty sure you weren’t one of them. Right?

“Hey, of course not! As both of your friends, even I’m surprised. You two are like, inseparable, long-distance buddies,” he claims. “But to tell you the truth, I have no idea what’s going on either. Are you sure you didn't fight for real this time?”

No real fights, you say. Your arguments about who has better smelling detergent or your choice of movie to watch or him stealing your oversized sweatshirts were as far as you two went. You often had serious talks, but when you didn't see eye to eye, you always just agreed to disagree, and then it was back to petty fights and annoying each other like little kids again.

“I’ve to head out now, Y/N. I’m sorry I couldn't help, but I hope you two patch things up! Just call if you need anything,” Jimin says after a few more back and forth of questions and answers about how the past week or so has been, just to pick up on any clues as to why things just suddenly came to a halt. You put your phone away and sit on the couch.

A few months ago, it probably wouldn't have mattered if he didn't text or call for a day or a week. You couldn't even truly come to terms with the fact that you’ve become good friends with Jeon Jungkook, the ‘golden maknae’ and self-proclaimed international playboy of the biggest band in the world who has the unenviable position of being half the female population’s (and a good fraction of the male’s as well) dream everything.

It amazed you how this oversized-clothes wearing boy with a bunny smile and doe eyes and who liked to talk to insects and impersonate chickens and act out Ironman fight scenes could arouse the sexual musings of individuals of all genders and ages. But then again, he does have that mellifluous voice and has this tendency to hump the air and dance wildly enough to reveal his abs, so you do understand the collective reaction.

For a high profile celebrity like him, it seems natural to be drawn to people from the same industry, for romance purposes or otherwise. Much of it has to do with the fact that they get the lifestyle, as his other band mates have shared, some of whom having dated fellow pop stars and models. But you aren’t from the same circle, or clique, or planet. While you’re your university’s star athlete, volleyball isn’t religion here, so there isn’t any “lifestyle change” of some sort.

Before Jungkook, your only window to celebrity life was through Jieun, your LA-based music producer of a cousin. Yet, you’ve always been wary of the spotlight, and those who loved it too much, which is why it baffled you for quite a while why you were so fond of Jungkook. He loved the spotlight enough to make his job look so easy, but he felt real — so real you almost thought he wasn't.

The midway mark of September has rolled in. Once the celebrations of your championship win over the summer were over, it was back to focusing on work and school. You’ve started your probationary period at a research institute, and you’re riding out your fifth year of university after your senior year knee injury left you out of school for a month and out of the graduation rites. This meant a chance to actually win the championship, which you did, and to appease your ever growing interest in gender studies, you decided to take up a minor program too.

It’s 8 am on a Monday and you’re enjoying your iced americano at Annie’s, your aunt’s café that she lets you run to help sustain your lifestyle. You monitor the daily operations, which means checking up on it everyday, and since class isn’t until nine, you always have your breakfast here.

Your back is turned to the door and you’re packing up your stuff, laughing at something Woojin, your café manager, is saying.

You stand up, swing your bag strap to your right shoulder and without paying attention, turn to your left to head out. Except instead of going for the door, you go for a body instead. The next thing you know, you’re massaging the right side of your forehead because holy crap this person has a knife for a chin, or a shoulder, or whichever part of the person’s body hit you.

“Ow!”

“I. Am. So. Sorry,” the person says. His voice is low and raspy, sleepiness still evident in it, and he says those words as if each is a sentence on its own. “Are you alright?”

By this time it has registered. You are looking up at the man who made your then-65 year old Grandma shriek. But that was last year and you bet if she were still alive now, she’d do the same, probably even louder.

You could hear customers enjoying their morning coffee whisper quite loudly “Is that Jeon Jungkook?!” And then it registers again. Yep, it is.

Eyes wide, you tell him that “good thing I don’t have coffee or that pretty white shirt of yours would’ve been messed up.”

Really, that’s what you say?

God, you sound so stupid, so you bat your eyelashes and put on a smile, as if that would save you the embarrassment. He grins.

“Yeah, good thing you didn't,” he says, letting out a little laugh.

You smile again, a bit awkwardly though, just to acknowledge his appreciation of you not ruining his Monday morning. As you’re about to step to your left to go for the door this time, he furrows his eyebrows. “You look familiar. Have I seen you somewhere?”

Well, you know where you’ve seen him, but you don't say that. Instead, you mumble “probably in your dreams?” Again, what?

He laughs again, this time more loudly. You’re amused at the child-like tone of his laugh, a complete contradiction to his toned body and tattooed arm. Your eyes travel up. Right, that was his shoulder you hit, you realize.

This is such a turn-off. Why does he keep laughing at stupid things?

“That sounded different in my head. It wasn't supposed to be a pick-up line if ever you thought so,” you clarify.

“No I didn’t, but thanks for confirming,” he says. You notice him smirking.

“Well, that settles it, then. Bye!” You wave, and you go for the door, for real this time.

It was an interesting way to start the week. You rarely have VIPs entering your café, especially in this quiet part of town, and so it’s quite a surprise to have him check it out. What’s even more surprising is seeing him there again the next day.

Your back isn’t to the door this time, but you’re zoned in on the paper you’re working on, eyes focusing on the laptop screen. It’s only when you momentarily look up and see Woojin preoccupied and seemingly distressed on the phone that you hear someone say, “excuse me” with his inked hand up that you realize your VIP is back. You stand up, approach him, and ask what he wants to order.

Jungkook’s face lights up. “Well, good morning, dream girl,” he greets. You flinch at the thought of what you said the day before implied.

“Please don’t,” you plead, before exploding into laughter. “Not my best moment, eh?”

He smiles again, shaking his head as if agreeing to what you just said.

“What do you want to order?”

“So… Annie?” He diverts.

You aren’t sure if you’re happy that asking for your name means he won’t have to call you dream girl again, or embarrassed because now there would be a name to the face.

“Annie’s my aunt, but I help run the place. It’s Y/N.”

“And I’m Jungkook,” he says, putting out his hand, as if you don't know who he is, which actually impresses you. You’ve heard of famous people's tendencies to act like everyone knows them, making them forego the courtesy of introducing themselves properly. You shake his hand, a little calloused but soft nonetheless. “This is Sejin. He told me about this place and how good it is,” he continues.

“Which is why you’re here for the second day this week?” you ask, fishing for some feedback on your food.

“I wanted to get back at the girl who would’ve spilled coffee on my shirt yesterday. Turns out this place has some great food as well,” he says, a smile creeping onto his face. You aren’t quite sure what to make of this.

You insist on their orders, suggest your bestsellers, and turn it over to the kitchen. As you’re about to head back to your seat, he says, “I remember where I know you from!” You look at him, curious.

“You’re Jieun’s cousin! She always posts about you,” he excitedly claims.

You nod. Of course, Jieun. You could’ve figured that out and told him yesterday instead of the dream girl thing.

“Right. Jieun,” you start. “She sucks up to me like that to convince me to visit her in L.A.,” you explain. You try to keep your voice steady. You don’t want to give the impression that having this conversation with him is already the most interesting part of your week, even if it is. Who gets to say that Jeon Jungkook recognizes their face anyway?

“You don’t like L.A.?” He asks curiously.

“It’s just not my cup of tea,” you respond, angling your body to move towards your table, but facing him still. You’re glad that the morning rush has ended and there aren’t many people in the cafe who minds enough that you’re talking to Jeon Jungkook.

“Then what is?” he asks, arms crossed against his chest, looking genuinely curious.

You let out a laugh. “Jasmine, chamomile. Lemongrass on some days,” you say. “We’ve got good ones you should try,” you tease.

You aren’t the type to spill things about you that easily, and he picks this one up. He nods and smiles. The only other thing he says to you before you leave is that the food is good, and that he’d “see you around.”

Of course he would, because for the rest of the week, he kept going back, right around the same time as you’re there. This isn't new, of course. You have so many customers who come everyday at a particular time — right before school or work or just part of their daily routine. But he didn't fit the profile of a regular customer, but you also could admit it was nice to see a fresh face around.

It’s Thursday of that week when he tells you “I have meetings and stuff in this area and your food’s really good,” after you give him a questioning look as to why he’s here again. And it’s the next day when he comes alone, orders jasmine tea for himself and for you, and asks for your number after you talk about Disney movies and the damsel in distress trope. And cats, and how much you hate them.

You have your back lying on the couch for 10 minutes, debating on whether you should drive to his place and ask what’s going on, or stay home and settle on phone calls for the next 2 months that he’ll be gone for the tour, if he’ll even pick them up. Because you’ve tried—you’ve called and left messages, not to ask why he hasn't been texting or if anything’s wrong, but just to crack up jokes that are way funnier than his, or to talk about food. You know, normal things.

You like how your texts never start with “good morning” and “what are you doing?” They’re usually along the lines of “some cat left a paw mark on my car, my day is ruined” or “I tripped in front of an old lady and she almost died laughing” or “what movie should I watch if I want to forget I have a shit load of work to do” or a picture of whatever food you ate that day.

Things are never formal with you two. It’s always very casual that sometimes you forget that his “show’s about to go on, I’ll talk to you later” text means he’s just about to perform in a sold-out stadium in front of thousands of people in Japan or something — like it was no big deal. Or that his “hang on, someone will just talk to me” is really code for “I’ve got an interview,” which you know will be newsflash and then posted all over social media immediately after. You enjoy this bit because it feels so natural, neither of you feel like you have to impress the other.

“Will you stop air fucking and pole dancing on the mic stand,” you’d say.

“Stop talking to me and do your report already,” he’d say.

“Seriously, why are your clothes 3 sizes bigger? How much food are you hiding in there?” You’d laugh over the phone.

“Your sweatshirt looks like shit, can I have it?” he’d annoy you, and then proceed to take it home.

You like making fun of each other as much as you like talking to each other. He’s easy to get along with and not pretentious; you’re comfortable to be around and not judgemental. He doesn’t have a problem telling you if you’re being too whiny; you don't mind calling him out for being too much of a perfectionist that he’s actually not being productive anymore.

Jimin was right when he described you two as inseparable, long-distance buddies — whether it was a night out with friends or a night in doing papers, if it didn’t clash with his schedule, you were together. Even if it was a quick take out dinner at 11PM after a long day of practicing, he’d be at your place.

Whenever he’s away on tour, he’d be constantly updating you about fan signs and the food and the weather; similarly, you’d update him on the café’s customer of the day or this new e-book you’d discovered or the weird dream you just had. You never feel any sort of pressure or expectation; neither of you feel too attached, despite the amount of time you spend together.

Regardless of how your constant texting or hanging out when he was back in Seoul seems like to others, neither of you ever felt like you had to define what you two really are. That’s what you always think the reason is as to why it works — it just does because you don't feel like it has to go a specific direction.

Despite all that, it still feels odd that he hasn’t been returning your calls or even updating you on how his day has been. The longest you’d gone without talking was 3 days, and that’s with a heads up. The next few months will be crazy for the band, what with the remaining shows of their tour. It isn't like him to just disappear from your life like this.

“When was the last time you saw him?” your best friend Chaewon asks over the phone when you finally decide to call someone after finding out Jungkook’s leaving.

“He’s not lost, okay. He’s just not calling,” you correct her. “But last week, we went for a drive, he slept over, and that was it. He just…” you trail. You aren’t even sure how to describe what just happened.

“Then why don’t you go over there?” She asks, almost as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“I don't know, it might get messy. You know I’m not good with confrontations.”

“Just go, Y/N. He probably won’t be calling you after he’s left if he’d been dodging you like this.”

Chae hangs up shortly after. You figure she probably doesn't want to hear another one of your excuses. You take your best friend’s advice and head for the door, get in your car, and take the 30-minute drive to his house.

“I like to leave,” you tell him. You glance to your right where he sits at the passenger seat of your car then look back on the road. You and Jungkook had just spent dinner with your friends at Chaewon’s apartment and you told him you could drive him back to the dorm.

He gives you a puzzling look. “Is that some sort of warning that I’ll wake up one day and you’ll just be… gone?” he asks, eyebrows scrunched up. You could see there’s a hint of concern on his face.

“Oh, I meant I like taking trips,” you laugh, realizing the oddity of what you had just said, which was a response to Jaehyun, your other best friend, mentioning you being voted as ‘most likely to evaporate into thin air’ in high school.

“Some days I wake up and just feel like being someplace else. So I grab my backpack and my trusty map, get into my car, and head out. By myself. Somewhere,” you say, shrugging, like it’s the most natural thing that people do.

You describe to him the places you’ve seen — the lakes and mountains and fields that many people don’t know about, how the sunsets are like from there, how the trees and flowers smell like, how otherworldly they look.

Most of the time, when you’re plagued with fear or sadness or doubt, you just leave. It’s your quick fix, your Band-Aid. You could be gone for a day or over the weekend; sometimes you’d be out for a week and not even your best friends know where you are, just that you’re safe.

“But why?” he asks. You think it was ironic since this is a guy who leaves for a living.

“When I was younger, we had this class and the teacher asked us to draw an object that represents us. I didn't even have a clear idea of who I was, how could I find the right object to symbolize me? You’ve got to find yourself, that’s how you’ll know, she said. I asked her how. She told me to go look at a map,” you narrate, looking back at that moment when you stared at your teacher trying to figure out if she was kidding or not.

“I guess you find yourself in places you don't know. Or you realize who you really are when things get chaotic and you go somewhere far. Or you pull yourself away from the crazy to take a breath and escape some things you’re not really ready to face…” you state.

“I never knew exactly what she meant, but I figured they all made sense,” you continue, slowing down the car as you’re a block away from his place. “You’ll always find a reason to leave.”

“But does leaving solve any of your problems?”

“Not always, but sometimes the problem is nothing that you leave behind. Sometimes the problem is you.” You’d thought about the times you came back and felt like a different person with a different perspective on things.

You look at him smiling, and you realize he’s been looking at you the whole time. You pull on the brakes, ready to say your goodnight, but he isn’t quite finished.

“What’s your favorite thing about leaving?”

There are so many things you love about it. You love how it means you have the freedom and capability to do anything you want. You love seeing new scenery, discovering places for the first time, meeting new people and learning their stories. It is such a human thing to want to leave, you think. You like everything about it, even the parts where you get completely lost or rained or snowed on because you weren’t prepared.

“Coming home,” you say.

He softens at this, a pleased look on his face.

“It’s like you’re gone for awhile and you see things for the first time, but then you drive back and you start seeing the familiar things — the streetlights, the driveways, the parks, the cafes… And all those constant things, they’re still there even when you leave, like they’re just waiting for you to come back.”

“You should know that. You’re always jetting off somewhere new,” you say.

“I leave because I have to. It’s part of the job.”

That conversation is ringing in your head the whole car ride to Jungkook’s house. Your knack for driving off is one of those things you never really share with anyone apart from your best friends. You never liked the thought of having to explain yourself to people, especially those you haven’t known for long, but with Jungkook, it never felt like you had to explain anything; you were always just sharing pieces of yourself that you knew he appreciated, that he somehow understood.

You pull up behind the black SUV parked in front of his place; the same SUV that you know his driver uses to take him to the airport. You turn off the engine and go through the half opened gate, up the steps and through the door.

You greet one of the members of his security team as she heads out the door and your eyes immediately turn to the two black duffel bags lying on the floor. They’re plump and full of things. You imagine all his black hoodies and sweatpants and leather jackets. You picture the bucket hats all neatly folded and his favorite Balenciaga sneakers tucked in somewhere. It feels weird, standing here at his foyer and just waiting for something to happen.

You hear steps skipping down the stairs and his voice, assuring “I’ll call you when I get there” to someone on the phone.

He’s looking down on it, texting someone who isn’t you. He does a double take, probably not expecting to see you standing by his door with a sad and confused look on your face.

You’re fidgety and you feel nervous. You never liked confrontations, even if you were convincing yourself that is not why you came here in the first place. You just want to see how he was doing, maybe ask what he’s been up to, wish him luck on the shows and that you’d see him when he gets back in two months.

“Y/N…” he starts. “I wasn't expecting you to be here.”

“Why, because you didn’t expect me to know you were leaving because you didn't tell me?” You say too quickly, resolve dissipating, tone and voice betraying you.

He looks taken aback. “Does it matter that I didn’t?” He says defensively, pulling up his duffel bags on a chair and seemingly looking for something inside one of them. You know he’s just distracting himself so he wouldn't have to look at you.

“You go home to your parents for three days and you ask to see me the day before, and now you leave for North America for two months and suddenly it doesn't matter that you don’t tell me?” Your voice is getting louder and you immediately wish you hadn’t come here at all. It seems like he doesn��t want you to be here just the same.

“You didn't even bother returning my calls or texts. And now you’re leaving. Your first show isn’t even until a week from now,” you say, crossing your arms. “What’s the rush?”

“I have a meeting with a producer,” he responds.

“That you couldn’t do during your free days there?” You snap back. You know this, you know they’re given some free time and he could’ve easily slipped that in there.

He sighs, knowing he can’t get out of this one. “I just want to be away from here, that’s all,” he says, glancing at you and then back at his bags.

“You mean away from me?”

He continues shuffling things in his duffel. He doesn’t even respond. You know it. He’s leaving because he wants to be away from you.

“What’s going on, Jungkook? One day we’re laughing our butts off until we fall asleep and the next you just… not call at all.”

“I just didn't feel like it, I guess,” he says, zipping one of the bags and adjusting its strap.

This infuriates you.

“Well that’s nice. It seemed like you always felt like coming over with dinner, keeping me company while I worked, convincing me to go out for drinks, meeting me at the café for breakfast but then all of a sudden you don’t feel like calling?” You bite back.

He’s silent for a while, as if finding the right words to say.

“You know what else is nice?” he starts, looking at you. “Calling me to come over on Friday nights when you don't feel like being out, asking me to stay the night and having me sleep next to you, kissing me and then telling me that ‘this feels nice and comfortable and fun’ and that I really am a great friend’.” His tone is angry, frustrated, desperate.

You feel your jaw drop open even if it’s closed. You did not see this coming at all. You always felt like you two were on the same page, that you like each other’s company so much that you prefer staying in on Fridays watching movies or National Geographic. You thought you both understand that sleeping next to each other only means you want to talk and laugh until you fall asleep, which is what happens all the time. You kiss then, which you treat like a goodbye because you don’t know if he’ll be there when you wake up.

“I never thought of you as the selfish and unfair type, but I guess there’s just too many layers of you that it takes time before this side of you comes out.” He swings both his bags to his right shoulder, hinting that he’s ready to leave, that he’s ready to leave things like this.

He starts walking towards the door. “They weren’t kidding when they said everything you touch turns into a mess.”

Your eyes widen in shock. “What the fuck, Jeon,” is all you could say. You’d never seen him this upset. Worse, you’d never seen him this upset at you.

“So what, I turned us into this big mess and you leave just like that? Like it’s not even worth talking to me about whatever it is you’re feeling?” you ask, following his movements. He’s halfway out the door by this time.

You follow him out, overtake him and make sure he could see your face. “Leaving doesn't always solve problems.”

“Well, Y/N, sometimes it does. Because sometimes you’re not the problem, it’s what you leave behind.”

You look at his face, trying to find pieces of him you thought you’d figured out. He turns away, not wanting to see you like this. You see him soften a little bit, like he didn't mean for things to turn out this way, but you know he isn’t going to let up. You have so many questions running through your mind. What did this all mean? What’s going to happen now?

“It’s sad how when someone you care about tells you exactly what you are to them, you realize at that moment what they are to you, and it’s the complete opposite.”

He turns to look at you this time, his face screaming a kind of sadness you’d never seen before. You’d talked about him being homesick all these years when he’s out on tour. He’d shared how the gossip and his negative image have affected him and his relationships. He’d talked about how difficult it was holding onto things and people that were real, but none of those moments could compare to this one and to this look he has on right now that lets you know he’s upset and it has everything to do with you.

You’re the one he’s leaving behind. You’re the mess he wants to get away from. You’re probably the last person he wants to see before flying out because you’re the problem he doesn't want to deal with.

“Jungkook…” you start, although you have absolutely no idea what you want to say. You look at him, eyes pleading for something, anything.

“I have to go,” is all he says. He turns around, clutching his bags over his shoulders, and walks away.

No ‘see you around’ or ‘I’ll call you soon’ like always. It was just ‘I have to go,’ like it was the period to the past months you two have been hanging out. ‘I have to go,’ like ‘leaving you is this need I have to fulfill.’ ‘I have to go,’ like, ‘this is it.’

You watch him walk out the gate. You watch the car drive away. There’s always something poetic about watching someone leave. You’d been used to that growing up. Your parents were always leaving, saving lives in places that needed saving, but you always knew they’d still be thinking about you and missing you while they were away.

But with Jungkook, it was different. You hadn’t quite gotten used to him leaving all the time, and right now, you aren’t sure he’d be thinking about you or missing you while he was gone.

‘I have to go,’ he said. Like, ‘I’m leaving. I don't want to stick around. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be with you.’

Things don’t feel real. You’ve been driving for 30 minutes, unsure where to go, reeling over the conversation you just had with Jungkook, if you could even call it that. It’s like he just dropped a bomb on you that you didn't know he’d had all this time.

There was so much frustration and sadness on his face that morning and you couldn't get the image out of your head. What have you done? You kept asking yourself.

But you reason that none of this is your fault. You thought everything was clear between the both of you. Sure, you never really talked about it, but if he was really feeling differently about you, then why didn't he just say something?

“I’m heading out,” you say to Jaehyun over the phone. He’s always the first person you call when you feel like driving off.

“I’m guessing the talk with Jungkook didn't turn out well?” he asks.

You don’t respond. You don’t really want to say anything to your friends about all this until you’ve figured things out.

“Chae told me,” he says, interrupting the silence.

“Yeah, I figured,” you reply. Information is so fluid between the both of them.

“So where are you off to?”

“I don't really know, just wherever,” you say, but you know exactly where you’re going. It will just take another hour until you get there.

“Alright, just be safe,” he says, before hanging up.

You step on the gas and turn on the music. Anything is better than the silence that’s ringing in your ears right now. You hum to the tunes of Colde and LeeHi, praying to the heavens you won’t hear Jungkook’s voice on the next song. This is your ‘favorites’ playlist and he had sneakily included some of his band’s songs one day when you went out to the market to grab some fruits and he stayed at your place watching TV.

About 60 minutes later, you reach the place. It’s en route to a town a couple of miles south of the city. It’s a turn to the corner, onto a dirt road and a path lined with shrubs and small trees. The entrance to the main beach is right off the highway about a mile away, but you’d discovered this entrance not long ago when you drove off on a Sunday, two days after your ex-boyfriend came knocking at your door months after he broke up with you. It was the first time you spoke since then, and it was also the first time he ever tried to explain himself to you. You remember that trip; it was 7 months ago and it was also the last time you’d been here. Somehow you just felt the pull of this place.

You realize later on, as you sit on the shore watching the sky turn purple and orange, that you told Jungkook about this when you were here.

You watched the sunset then just like today. It looked so beautiful and so you snapped a picture and sent it to him. He was in Japan at that time for an event. You’d told him you’d fallen asleep and were just listening to the waves crash on the shore — your favorite sound in the world, you’d said. When it was all over, you decided to call it a day.

“I’m driving back now,” you’d told him. “Okay,” he responded, voice tired from the day he had. It was rare for you to talk to anyone when you were out. You felt like a part of home was tugging at you when you did. But Jungkook was away and you just wanted him to see what you were seeing. You felt it was a way for you to tell him that you were fine. He didn’t seem convinced when he’d left your apartment that Friday night after Jinyoung visited. The photo you sent of the sunset, and the next one of you lying on the sand, smiling, were enough to convince him that indeed you were.

“Okay. Hold on to the feeling once you see the familiar,” he’d said. He knew you loved that feeling. He always said he imagined a smile creeping from the left side of your mouth when you realized you were nearing home.

“You’re familiar, Jeon,” you’d told him.

You liked the idea, that you saw him as something familiar. You’d only known each other then for a few months but you’d talked as if it had been years. He was away but he still felt constant.

“So are you, Y/L/N,” he replied.

You were thinking about this, about him, as the dust settled and the sky’s now a pretty dark blue with tiny hints of burnt orange. The waves still sound majestic, truly something you can never get tired of. You feel the cold autumn air tingle your insides. You close your eyes and breathe in to try to immerse yourself in your surroundings, hoping against hope that something will click and things will make sense.

You’d spent the whole afternoon here yet you feel like nothing’s changed. He is on the plane to California and you’re still confused. You still have the same questions from last week, from this morning. He’s still your constant; you just aren’t sure if you’re still his.

Leaving doesn't always solve problems, you told yourself. You just wished you’d told him one more time. Maybe he would’ve stayed.

“We’re having Spanish,” Chaewon says as you enter her apartment. “And you’re late.” She continues, turning to you with slices of apples and oranges in her hands. You could hear the laughter and the cheers from the living room. Nobody’s minding you because a soccer game is on.

You envy their energy — why you agreed to continue to help run the cafe even with a full-time job, you don’t know, but it’s starting to take its toll on you and all you want to do is sleep. Jungkook and the guys will soon be in full preparation mode for the start of the tour and your superstar friend, who had now also claimed your own friends, wanted to have dinner with everyone before things got too busy.

“You cooked?” you ask, returning your gaze to her after looking out on who is already here.

“Nope. Take-out. But the Sangria is homemade.”

“Take-out?” you repeat, excitedly, making your way to the table to check on the food.

“Jungkook wanted Spanish and take-out,” Chaewon confirms, as laughter roars from the living room.

You walk over to check on everybody else who all acknowledge your presence with air fist bumps.

“So you’ve moved past Chinese and Japanese take-out and have gone for Spanish now, huh, Jeon?” you question. He gives you his signature bunny smile from his seat on the floor. He does that quite often when he’s showing off or after he’s done something nice.

“Hey, it’s a classy place and I get a discount. And, Chae sounded tired when I called so I took it upon myself to save dinner,” he proudly declares, standing up and motioning towards you. How cocky, you think, but you return his pinch on your cheek with a pinch on his nose.

Dinner is as fun as dinner with your friends always goes, but your hectic schedule that day made you extremely tired. After moving to the couch and a glass of Sangria later, you feel your head spinning and rest it on Jungkook’s shoulder. He notices your tired face, nudges at you and says he’s going to take you home. “Thanks, Jeon,” you murmur under your breath. “I promise I won’t puke.”

It takes a few glasses of water and a handful of profiteroles to get you sobered up and ready to head out. He helps you get in his car and you retreat to a semi-fetus position until the next corner.

“You’re really tired, aren’t you? You’re never this quiet during a car ride. Even when you’re drunk you won’t stop talking… or singing,” he teases. “Out of tune, I might add.”

You sit up from your sulking position. “Sometimes I just want to choke you, you know” you remark with a serious face.

“Do you want to feel the wrath of my women?” he questions, winking, referring to his army of fans who are protective of him, and for good reason.

“They’d probably want to do the same, only in a sexual way.” At this he laughs, shaking his head as if to say you’d done it again, teased him like this and made his cheeks blush.

The ride is a quick one for a Thursday night. You feel you haven't made fun of him enough as he pulls the brakes in front of your apartment building and immediately steps out and walks to your side before you could even thank him and say goodbye.

He opens the door and pulls you out like it’s routine, although you clearly remember he’d brought you home when you were drunk only twice, one of which was when he’d found you half-naked in your kitchen with a knife, ready to attack him. Since then, Jungkook had made sure to never let you be that drunk again, and always made it a point to feed you sweets so you’d stay awake.

He’s successful though — you’re sober and awake tonight. You’re just really tired.

You unlock your apartment door and he steps in with you, goes straight to your kitchen and makes you tea. He knows that chamomile makes you sleep well, and that’s exactly what he prepares.

“So comfortable in my place already, Jeon,” you say after realizing what he’s doing. He just knows in what cupboard your mug is kept, and in which box the chamomile is stored, and how much sugar you put, but then again, he did help you quite a bit organize your kitchenware. He opens a drawer to get aspirin - “Just in case,” he says. You watch him like he had done this many times before.

A small smile forms on your lips.

“Look, you’re tired and I convinced you to come tonight. If you don't sleep well, you’ll wake up in a bad mood and complain to me again that your neighbor’s cat is loitering on your steps… and then you’ll blame me.”

You laugh. For someone who deals with so many people everyday, it amazes you how well he remembers things about you like that.

“I was about to say how I like hanging out with you because you make me coffee or tea…”

“You’d do the same for me, Y/N, no matter how much you want to stop yourself from doing so.” He winks at you, tastes the tea, and places it on the counter.

You sit on the chair and feel the aroma of the tea soothe you. He stands there watching you, pleased with what he’s done. “You good?” he asks, and you nod behind your mug.

You don’t need to be taken care of, you’d told him once. You don’t need someone to be looking out for you when you’re drunk and being clumsy, when you’re busy and not eating, when you’re injured and unable to walk properly, when you’re stressed and needed a break.

“If you don’t want me here you could always just tell me, you know?” he’d said once. “I won’t take it personally. We’re good with each other that way.”

But you never asked him to leave. In fact, you always wanted him to stay, always asked him to.

“Ready to call it a night?” he questions, after you put down your empty mug.

You look up at him. You could feel your eyes falling and your body aching for a warm shower and your sheets. It’s been a crazy week and it isn’t even over. You want to rest, but you also don't want to be alone.

“Can you stay?” you ask, biting your lip and trying hard to pull off your puppy eyes so he’d say yes.

“Sure,” he says. He didn’t wait for an explanation. He didn’t need one. He just understood.

You give him a warm smile.

“I know you love my couch, but I might forget in the morning you’re here and I might stab you for real this time,” you state. “The bed’s big enough for both of us and Chandler,” you offer, referring to your hedgehog stuffed toy that’s about half your size.

“At least I get a blanket!” he claims.

“Thanks, Jeon.”

A soft smile appears on his face. “Anything for you, Y/N.”

By the time you decide to leave the beach, the sky has already settled in a midnight blue. The waves are crashing, and from across the water, you could see lights from the small town not so far away. You think about spending the night there, or driving someplace else and sleeping in your car until the next morning. But you decide to go home, even if you know you’ll just be thinking about him more if you do.

You turn on your engine, put the windows down, and listen to the wind. You think about this morning again. You’re still in denial that he’d said what he did and the implication that you probably led him on all these months.

But you’re convincing yourself that he couldn't pin this on you — he was always calling, he was always texting, he always wanted to be with you after a busy week, he always made it up to you when he couldn’t come over, he always stayed when you asked him to.

You two kissed, but it was a soft one, not ravenous or lust-filled. He didn't pull away and you didn’t try to deepen it. But he looked so good after their show and he was gonna be gone for the tour and the alcohol was talking and you let it.

You kissed again after that. There was no drunken night to blame it on the second time, but it was raining when you woke up the next day and he looked so warm and comfortable sleeping on your bed that you just felt like you had to. But he kissed you back, softly still, and he didn't say anything. He didn't pull you in for another one after.

If he really felt anything, then he should have. He should have grabbed you and told you he wanted more, that he was feeling differently, that things were changing. He should’ve done it then or any other time after that. He was always honest with you, but you didn't understand why he wasn't honest about this one, why he decided to just stop things and leave you hanging.

Maybe you weren’t away long enough, because you didn't even realize that you were already home until you saw your neighbor’s white sedan parked in your street. You pull the brakes and park behind it, thinking you were probably absent-minded the entire ride back.

There’s no warm feeling inside that you’re back. This wasn’t a trip that was meant to change anything or make you figure out how to fix things. All you thought about was that you miss him terribly, and maybe that’s what it was meant for, rub in your face that he’s gone.

You drag yourself up the stairs and enter your place. It suddenly feels like he’s everywhere in your apartment. You’d moved in last year and not even your best friends or your mom had imprinted enough of themselves inside.

There’s the cup Jungkook bought for you after he broke one of your favorites. There’s this pack of granola bars in your pantry that he got so you wouldn't have to gobble up ice cream when you were hungry. There’s the spare toothbrush he started using after his first night in. There’s your sweatshirt that he returned, and his hoodie that he said he’d get back the next time he sees you.

And there’s the counter where you both shared take-out dinners and homemade breakfast. And there’s your couch where you spent nights working while he watched TV on mute. And there’s your bed where he’d slept next to you a few times.

“I shouldn't have watched all those stupid chick flicks when he wasn't talking to me,” you think out loud. Now you’re left with an apartment that has him everywhere.

You’re not even together. You’ve shared so much of yourself to each other but never ‘I like you’s’ nor ‘I love you’s,’ not even ‘I miss you’, but why does it feel like you’ve shared all that and more? Why this sudden feeling of emptiness after he told you he had to go and then left just like that?

Everything you touch turns into a mess, he told you.

Your friends joke about it all the time. Your penchant for trying anything that remotely interests you doesn’t necessarily mean you’re good at it. Whether it’s decorating those Valentine’s cookies that Hyejin bakes, molding those vases during a pottery class you impulsively signed up for, or even making pajeon when Chae said you couldn’t fry anything other than your broken-yolk eggs, you just have the tendency to end up with final products that are nothing like what you intended. In look or substance, they’re just not that pretty. Jungkook always laughed along.

But he said it to you today like it burned him. As if to say, look at what you’ve done, I don’t want to be a part of this.

“So uhm, are you just going to sit there and watch us or are you going to help?” Jungkook asks from the floor of your living room, paintbrush in one hand, goodie bag in another.

Body sprawled on your sofa with legs hanging and kicking off the armrest, you look at him with a pout. “Jaehyun doesn’t want me to.”

Jaehyun sighs from where he’s sat on the floor. “It’s not that I don’t want to, Y/N. It’s that I can’t afford to.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, whatever,” bitterness apparent in your voice.

It’s a Sunday and your friends are at your apartment to help Jaehyun decorate the goodie bags he’ll be distributing to the kids at the orphanage that he volunteers at. Twice a year, he throws them a party that requires decorating giveaway bags that contain the books and sweets he’s bought with his own money. Jungkook ended up there because, well, by now you don’t question him anymore. They had a day-off and he said he was bored.

“Jaehyun’s being kind. Y/N’s just really shit at these things so he doesn’t let her touch these,” she says, holding up a bag where she’d painted a rainbow.

“You got the color order wrong,” you shoot at her. She responds with scowl.

“Come on, Jae. Pretty please. I promise I won’t mess them up like last time,” you plead to Jaehyun. You know he has a soft spot for you.

“You said that the last time, too” Hyejin chides.

“Wow thanks, guys. No one’ll even pretend to be on my side, huh,” you sit up and frown at everyone.

“Y/N, we are, like, most of the time.” You glare at your friend. “But I spent my money on these and the party is already next week and I really want the kids to feel hopeful and inspired, not scared, okay? And I want them to actually keep the goodie bags, not throw them away. It’s nothing personal, I promise.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” you wave your hand at them and give up.

This is a usual occurrence. You know you’re useless with anything that involves the arts that’s why your only contribution every time you guys help Jaehuyn is your apartment as a venue.

Jungkook arrived an hour earlier with a glimmer and excitement on his face when he saw what your friends were doing, like a little kid at a candy store. He wasted no time and got right down to business. God, those kids who will get his bags would never know they were holding a goldmine.

“So what happened the last time?” Jungkook asks.

“She tried to draw a bear but it ended up looking like that character from the monsters cartoon, you know, the one holding its eyes?” Hyejin recalls, laughing as she recalls the proud look on your face and the distressed one on Jaehyun’s. “She tried to remedy it but like, just no. It looked terrible.”

“No kid would feel hopeful with that,” Chaewon adds.

“I really had to do quality checks of her work and I threw them all away cause they’d gone lumpy. She didn’t even mix the paint well,” Jaehyun continues.

“Yah! I think Jungkook got the message, okay?” You start chuckling, seeing Jungkook’s amused face and his effort to not laugh along at the thought of you being shut down for something you thought was a pretty thing you created. “I’ve accepted that art isn’t my forte.”

“So is cooking, baking, pottery, organizing, arranging…” You throw Chaewon a pillow, smack to her face like she deserves.

“But seriously. Trust her to score the final point of a championship game or write a 30-page report on housewifization and its subordination of women but if it isn’t sports or research, forget it. Everything she touches turns into a mess. RIP to all the cookies and goodie bags and vases that never saw the light of day,” Hyejin dramatically claims. “It’s kind of her thing.”

You shrug. It kind of is your thing. Your unartistic, unorganized, and mindless chaotic ass, for the life of you, just can’t get it together. Clothes and shoes all over the place, gifts wrapped in frayed gift wrappers, cooked food looking inedible… relationships that crash and burn because you couldn’t decide if you wanted to care or not, because you did whatever you felt like just cause you wanted to, because you got too close and didn’t know when to pull away… Yeah, definitely.

You turned to your friends who were all back to being immersed in what they were doing, proud look on their faces at the pieces that will definitely give joy and warmth to whoever will get them.

“I just mess things up, though. At least I don’t break them.”

You wake up to the sound of your phone ringing in your ears, surprising you so much you almost fall off where you were lying.

“I’m outside,” Hyejin says on the other line. You get up and open the door.

She turns to you after seeing the blanket on your couch, realizing you had slept there instead of your bed. “Too much of Jungkook in your room, huh?” she says, looking sad, not realizing there was too much of him everywhere. You had just been too tired to go to your room when you got home, but you didn’t answer.

She takes your silence as a yes and walks to your kitchen to take out the bread and coffee she bought, then heads out to your terrace while you wash up in the bathroom.

You sit in front of her and eat your breakfast quietly while she watches you take small bites of your cheese bread. You tell her everything that’s happened the past 24 hours — from Jimin’s call to Jungkook’s out-of-left-field outburst.

“I think I led him on,” you say, head thrown back on the chair, eyes closed.

“Uh, you think?” Hyejin claims.

“How come none of you ever said anything?” you ask, looking at her. Jungkook didn't say anything; your friends didn’t say anything… Were you that naïve? That selfish? That stupid?

“Well, it’s not like you’d listen anyway,” she starts. “You always just do what you want. Like, sure constantly talk to the guy giving you heart eyes every time you look at him, go date the guy whose family is in Australia and would most likely go back and leave you, sure spend time and flirt with the insanely hot and kind and funny pop star… like there are no consequences to these things,” she unapologetically says.

“Is that so bad?” you ask.

You don’t want to sound defensive. You don’t have the energy to really argue with anyone.

“Come on, Y/N. Don’t tell me you didn't see this coming. With how you two were, one of you was bound to fall for the other.”

“We allowed ourselves to get that close, Hyejin, to be… this. Whatever this is. Or was. It’s not like we ever talked about it, though.”

She raises an eyebrow at you.

“But I just figured we were both mature enough to handle the consequences. I just don't understand why it has to be this screwed up.”

She looks at you as if she’s looking right to your soul. “It’s like you ask someone to play fire with you, and you don't mind if you get burnt. You don't mind if they get burnt, too. That’s what it’s like.”

“Getting burned is part of it. Getting hurt is part of it. I know that, and I always get over it,” you say.

“Yeah, but the thing is, you expect the same thing from the other person, too.”

You don’t like how right she is about all this.

“When you get hurt, you just walk away because you expect it and you accept it and then that’s it, goodbye to everything that was good. Move on to the next relationship that may or may not work out,” she continues.

You cover your face with your arms, as if somehow that’s going to be enough to make up for everything you’ve done.

“But that’s precisely why you always live in the moment, you know? To hell with being careful, or obsessing over whether or not doing something will hurt you. When you feel it that moment, you do it. And you’re okay if it hurts you, or if it leaves you with the shorter end of the stick. You get back on your feet right after anyway.”.

The day at the quad when Jinyoung broke up with you comes to mind. You didn’t even fight for it, you normally don’t; you’d rather spend that time getting over something and moving on.

“But Jungkook isn’t like that, Y/N,” she says, breaking you out of your thoughts. “Don't you get it? He won’t tell you he feels differently. He won’t tell you and right then and there, realizing you don't feel the same way, just accept it and get over it.”

You look back to that last morning you had together, the tangled limbs, the morning kiss, watching him get ready, the words “stay a little longer” almost slipping past your lips like always, but instead saying that it was nice and comfortable and fun. He smiled then.

“Thanks for doing that for me; you really are a great friend,” is what you said before he left. So you weren’t dreaming the crestfallen look you saw on his face. With furrowed brows he took his phone, multiple messages probably telling him to go back to the dorm, and then he was gone.

Your eyes widen at the memory. That’s what he was referring to. You’d been too frustrated at him ignoring you that you didn’t even bother to think of what might’ve triggered it.

Hyejin seems to pick this up. “So are you now realizing you’re an idiot?”

You smack her arm and she winces, deservedly so.

“Okay, fine. I may have been one but to ignore me like that and then just leave? He waited last minute to tell me what he was feeling and then he fucking left, leaving me here confused and hurt and in agony. That’s way worse than my quick and easy,” you exclaim.

“Sometimes people will cover up the pain rather than just say they’re hurt. Some hearts are wired that way, Y/N. Not everyone does quick and easy. Not everyone gets to accept their own feelings, and upon realizing they’re not reciprocated, moves on right away like you do.”

You let everything sink in.

“It was my second time at that beach yesterday, you know?” You start after a long silence.

“The first time was after Jinyoung had come over to explain himself. I was already over the break up; I left to get over his reason for it. But yesterday when I was down there, all I could think about was how much I miss Jungkook. Like, it was the only thing going through my head the entire time I was there. He was always leaving but I always knew that when he got back, he’d be knocking at my door again…” you trail. You know it isn't going to be the same this time around.

“People have their own reasons for leaving, you always say that. You can never fault them for why they choose to. You leave because you want to figure yourself out. He left because he probably didn't want to deal with what he’s feeling for you.”

Feelings. You always made sure to keep yours in check, but Hyejin was right; you also always expected the same from him.

You look out on the city and get lost in your thoughts. People always thought of you as someone who had things figured out - you know what you want from life and from those who are part of it. You’d walked away from people and let them walk away from you when you knew it had to happen. But this whole deal with Jungkook feels like unfamiliar territory.

If it were someone else, you probably would’ve just let it go, but you keep thinking about Jungkook and the way his dimples still surprise you every time he smiles and how his laugh is so childlike and infectious it annoys you and warms your heart at the same time.

You can't get off your head how it feels to hear him say ‘good morning’ when you wake up and find his arm gently resting on your waist, your fingers always tempted to trace the ink decorating his own.

You warm at the thought of how he manages to make you feel better when you’re tired, how he never makes you feel hopeless when you’re being angry at all the unjust things in the world, how he reminds you of all the good there is during the times you forget.

You think of how you don’t want to lose all that.

“Feelings…” you say. You couldn’t get used to the idea that he has them for you.

“Do you have them too?” Hyejin finally asks.

You were so hung up on how the past week has been, that he ignored you, that he left, that you didn't even stop to think of why, and more importantly, what you feel for him.

“I don’t know.”

“I’ve never seen you like this with anyone, though.”

“It’s because I’ve never been like this with anyone.”

“Like what?”

“Cautious?”

“You mean, spending so much time together, constantly talking, kissing, is you being cautious?” She’s asks, incredulous.

You shrug. “It was never anything more.”

“Then why do you do them?” She snaps back.

“Because I want to? I’m always ready for him to turn me down.” It does surprise you every time he says yes to your requests, to your calls, your kisses. “But he never does.”

“But you don’t ask for anything more?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

Hyejin groans. “You’re giving me a headache.”

“What did I say?!”

“How can you want all of that and none of it at the same time? Seriously, you guys are like, friends with benefits without the sex…”.

You throw her a piece of bread, scandalized with what she just said. But you laugh at this. Your friends had joked about that before; even his band mates agreed. You were everything and nothing at the same time, stuck in the grey scale that neither of you were willing to admit. Or move away from.

“I think you just wanted everything - you wanted company, you wanted him to stay the night, you wanted to kiss, you wanted him to hold you, you wanted to talk… You wanted to be friends.” When Hyejin says it like that, you do seem like a fool.

“But you didn’t want what those actually implied or even required from you,” she continues. “Almost like there’s this line you’ve set for both of you that only you can see.”

You sigh in frustration. You know when you drew that line, when you’d warned yourself to never cross it, when you’d promised yourself to never want more.

“I guess I always knew what I really felt… I probably just denied it or didn't want it enough,” you think out loud.

“So what now?” She finally asks the painfully obvious question. “What will you do now?”

“Wallow in my self misery and remind myself everyday that I'm an idiot,” you answer back.

“Hmm. You’re too easy on yourself,” she says.

You smack her arm again, which earns you a laugh from her. “I’m kidding! But seriously, now that everything's a little clear, what are you going to do?”

“Make things even clearer?” You sigh. “I feel like such a mess, Hyej. And he’s the one who usually cheers me up when I feel like shit but I can’t ask that from him, now can I?” You say, your body now slumped in your chair, feeling like you’re back to square one.

“You can’t and you won’t.” She walks over to you to pull you up like a big baby. “You’ve got 2 months to figure your shit out before he comes back. Better start now,” she says, as she ushers you back inside.

There’s continuous knocking on the door, causing you to get up from your seat on your work desk and you readied yourself to fight whoever decided to disturb your busy Saturday morning.

You open the door and are greeted with a loud bellow, your name being sung in opera-style by a certain doe-eyed boy.

“Jeon Jungkook, what are you doing! You’re gonna wake the neighbors,” you shout, pulling him inside.

“Your closest neighbor is an old woman who’s hard of hearing. I think we’re good,” he smiles, eyes all innocent-looking.

“What are you doing here?” You ask. It’s one of those rare Saturday’s when the guys are afforded a full day off - no practice, no show, no filming. He always looked forward to days like this, which you expect he’d spend sleeping in or exercising or playing Overwatch.

“Got a free day,” he gleams.

“I know but what are you doing here?”

“You’ve been cranky and whiny this whole week. And you don’t respond to my memes,” he says, pouty lips making him look like a little kid that hasn’t been given much attention.

“I told you it’s work. I’m short on time to work on my reports since I got dragged to this week-long event. But I think my brain cells have dissipated; I can’t seem to construct simple sentences anymore,” you sigh, heading for your couch to sink into. “I’m sorry for not responding to your memes.”

“I’ll forgive you only if you come with me.”

“To where?” Your brow quirks up, finally taking in his baggy pants and loose white polo and bucket hat. “And what look are you going for with this whole get up?” You question, not missing the mismatched pieces of clothing and shades perched on his hat.

“Something unassuming. I asked Jin hyung for advice and raided Tae’s closet,” he shrugs.

“So what do you say? Come with me. Take a break! You won’t get any more productive being cooped up in here. Plus, artists need to go out for inspiration and you don’t seem like you’re getting it here,” he says with a smug look. You smack his arm, knowing that last bit he only said to mock you.

But it’s the words you always say to him; now he’s just saying them right back to you. “I promise to buy you snacks,” he says, reaching out his hand to you and pushing you to your room to get dressed.

And that promise he keeps. He rented a simple car so his luxurious one wouldn’t catch attention. You take a drive out of the city, sing your lungs out in the car, and go store hopping. You find supermarkets and convenience stores and little shops to look for different kinds of snacks that you both try and make reviews of. Every pretty view you see has you stopping the car and admiring the scene.

You inhale the fresh air, something you don’t get much in the city, and you appreciate this. You get back to your place, complain about your tummy aches, laugh until you fall asleep, tangled limbs and all, but not before telling him it was the most fun you’d had in a while and your brain feels rejuvenated enough to get the reports done in the next few days.

He falls asleep with that smile, the proud one he’d have on when you show your appreciation for him. He does like getting praises, that much you know.

You wake up to his quiet snores, cheek squished on the pillow with a hand over your waist, like always. You know you have to wake him up soon, which you do with a soft kiss, like always too. You watch him smile into the kiss and return it, until he finally opens his eyes to look at you.

“Get up, sleepyhead. They’ll be calling you over soon,” you say.

You watch him ready himself from your bed, still drowning in that kiss with a lazy smile on your face. You want to tell him to stay a little longer, even if you’re the one pushing him to get ready.

You always want to say that, whether it’s walking out the door at night or getting up from your bed in the morning. You always want to ask him to stay a little bit more but you never do, thankful for whatever time he could spare you, careful not to ask for more than what he could give.

Yesterday was good. You’d been drowning in work, and you’d blown off your friends this past week and you knew that Jungkook had a busy week as well. But yesterday felt nice. He’d given up his own free day to be with you and he willingly did so, knowing that you need it without you saying it out loud.

You had fun during the drive, and even more so exploring the store aisles, figuring out which brand of shrimp cracker or chocolate milk to get, buying all of them anyway, and excitedly opening them, finishing it all up and proceeding to give your review like those YouTubers you both liked to watch.

It always feels like this with him, but you had been so tired and drained that being with him yesterday just made you feel so happy. It showed with how you constantly leaned into him, how you rested your head on his shoulder as he was deciding on the size of banana milk he would buy, knowing he’d be resting his head on yours as a response.

You were missing physical affection and he was always willing to give you that, and you liked that he never seemed to ask for more. You’d initiate and he’d return, you’d pull and he’d let you, no questions asked. It felt comfortable enough, you thought. You didn’t have to explain yourself or your actions. It just always seemed like a given.

He’d said that he was dealing with a lot already as a pop star, that stuck with you and you knew from then on it was code for him not wanting to get into a relationship, and despite having being single for a little over a year already, you had too much going on in your life too that you didn’t really need any commitments at this point. You were on the same page, for sure.

It was nice and comfortable and fun, that’s what you tell him. You’re referring to the day you had, and what it’s like with him too, in general. You watch him pull his gray hoodie over his head. The black one, his favorite, you’d worn the night before, and you hug yourself to say you don’t want to return it yet.

He chuckles, “Fine. I’ll get it back the next time I see you.” You like his scent, but you’d never say this to him too.

You stand up to head to the kitchen, feeling refreshed and ready to be productive for the rest of the week. You know it had so much to do with the previous day, as if the laughter and smiles you had made up for that entire week when you barely did either. You give him a quick hug. “Thanks for that, Jungkook. You really are a great friend.”

His face falls a little bit, as he clutches onto his phone to check the multiple messages probably telling him to go back home. You don’t think much of it. When you turn back to him, he’s gone.

part 1 drabble <<>> part 2 drabble

series masterlist

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts fic #bts jungkook #idol jungkook

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xunolic · 3 years

Note

oh okay okay. Can I request a woodz smut where he’s on a world tour or something and bc of the stress of the tour he had no time to jerk off hence hes sexually frustrated so his staff suggested for an escort service and they call your company or whatever and they chose you to go to him and then smut? thank you :)

paring: idol!seungyoun x blackgirl!reader

warnings: switch!youn, switch!reader, slight food play, oral (m. recieving), fingering

wc: 3.4k

✎ genre: smut, fluff

a/n: not proofread buuut happy new years eve guys!! stay safe :))

“have you seen seungyoun?”

“woodz you're on in five.”

“where did he go?”

seungyoun had locked himself in his dressing room bathroom, making sure to keep the light off so no one knew he was in there. he panted softly, palming the bulge in his bottoms, trying to find any sort of satisfaction. he groaned out of frustration, knowing he wasn't content. he was stuck on a tour bus and plane so often to where he had been left with blue balls for months. he was pulled from his thoughts from the sound of banging on the door.

“yeah?” he answered, pushing himself from the wall he was up against. he opened the door, looking at his manager square in the eye. his manager let out a held sigh, rubbing his temples in slight annoyance. “what's wrong?”

“oh, nothing. you were just supposed to be on in like…” he looked down at his wrist although no watch was there. “3 minutes ago.” seungyoun showed no interest, walking past his hyung. he grabbed water, walking towards the stagehand. his manager followed closely behind, knowing something was wrong. he tapped his shoulder, seungyoun ignoring him.

“seungyoun. what's up with you?” he asked, staring at the back of the man's head. seungyoun shook his head, walking up to the side of the stage, the music starting slowly. the concert felt like a drag for seungyoun, just the last few. he made sure to give his best, but his manager, for the past concerts, had been concerned. the ride to the hotel was awkward, his manager stealing glances at him every few seconds.

“hyung, if you have anything to say, say it,” youn kept his eyes on the buildings and people that passed by, his chin resting in his hand.

“you know you can tell me anything right?” he said, continuing to steal glances at the 24-year-old. seungyoun nodded as they reached a stoplight. he looked over to his hyung, who was already looking over at him.

“what’s up?” he asked, turning the music down in the car.

“you saw my phone, why don't you tell me.”

it was true. he had looked through the phone of the younger male’s and found what he was watching. he stiffened, looking back at the road, driving yet again. he had to find a way to get him out of the funk he was in.

it was 11 pm, and the older man was on the phone with a company that he believed could help seungyoun whilst on tour. “yeah. do you think she’ll want to travel? okay… that’s good… okay i'll be there in two days. see you then.”

the next day rolled around and seungyoun had to make his way to the next city. you on the other hand were struggling with the courses you decided to take in college. you sat in your bed, frowning at the screen, your friend on the phone.

“i'm just saying, university is such a damn hassle. i can't believe you dropped out and left this struggle for me.”

“sorry, i couldn't do it, babe. it was stressful, but how is that job you've been doing.”

“the amount of rich, divorced men that pay big bucks for having a nice pretty girl on their side, surprises me.”

“so, any good sex stories?” she asked, a curious tone hinted in her voice.

“i don’t fuck them. i’m not a prostitute, i just accompany them to like big dinners and stuff, but i did one time. it was the worst ever, it’s like he hadn’t had sex in years, and after he cummed, i left. i had to do the heavy lifting myself when i got home.”

“damn… oh shit. i got caught, gotta go back to work. bye, baby.”

“bye,” you hung up the phone, heaving a sigh, closing your laptop. you took a break from the work, your phone ringing again. you answer putting the phone up to your ear, walking into the kitchen. “pack right now! oh my goodness y/n, this is big.”

“um… cora, please slow down. why am i packing?”

“oh, i forgot i didn’t tell you. okay, so i just got a call from some korean man about how he is a manager to some company and he needs you for a tour. people get very lonely on things like that.”

you sat in the bed, eyes training on the sheets. “this better not be another fucking underground rapper. the last time i did that, he wouldn’t let me leave.” a shudder leaves your body as you recall the memory engraved in your head. that night sent you home with tears. he was a good looking guy, but his intentions were the worst, making you fear going anywhere near people like that man again.

“y/n, i am not letting anyone like that near you again. plus, this must be a big artist for offering 1,000 a city.”

you choked on your spit at the amount that left your boss’s lips, thinking how to respond. “they leave from here today. i know this isn’t enough, but you have this time to decide okay. text me if you have your answer anytime soon.”

you nod knowing she couldn’t see you, mumbling an okay before hanging up your phone. your body reacted before your mind did as you stood up walking to your closet. you took down suitcases, not knowing how much you’d need. you took two, hoping it would be enough. picking out several outfits, your mind suddenly came to. you stared at the belts and jeans in your hands, thinking if you were gonna do this.

you pack up the bags, sitting them at the door, picking your phone up. you texted cora telling her you’d do it and she responded quickly telling you to meet up with them tomorrow. you tried clearing your mind, sitting your phone and laptop on your desk. your head started hurting before you laid down to sleep, mind fogged over with thoughts.

seungyoun’s manager woke him up early, like 2 am early, making him rush to the car; they were fifteen minutes late. seungyoun wasn’t sure of what was happening but got into the car nonetheless. he stared out the window as they finally pulled up to the relatively small building. getting out, they were greeted by the translator who worked at the building, with a smile on her face. as they were walking into the building, seungyoun looked around trying to get a grasp on the situation. they walked into a room that looked like the normal company meeting room. you looked up catching the view of a young-looking guy. your eyes lingered on each other before both he and the manager sat down.

you couldn’t stop looking for the whole meeting. he was really good looking, and it seemed he was in the same situation as you. his eyes never left yours for the fifteen minutes you were in there. cora, looked over at you to confirm your decision but traveled where your eyes led. she let out a chuckle, shoving you softly with her shoulder.

“i said, do you want to leave with them today or do you want them to fly you out in like two days?”

“i-i can go today…” you mumbled, seungyoun smiling but then looking at his manager with wide eyes.

“oh.. yeah. she’s coming with us,” he said, placing his hand on his shoulder. he looked over to you but you were already standing to get the things that you had already stuffed in your car.

the two men went to the car leaving one side open for you. you let out a small gulp, saying bye to cora before leaving for what you thought would be a simple trip.

boy was you wrong about the simple travels. you had been gone for three months, gone to almost ten+ cities, and there was finally one city left on the tour. you realized from the first show it wasn't just some underground rapper you were working with. you were shocked (maybe turned on, you didn't know) by how charismatic seungyoun was on stage. you had grown closer and attracted to seungyoun over these months and to your dismay, he hasn't tried anything with you. both of you had noticed the tension from day one, but he kept his distance when it came to anything sexual. you could tell he was frustrated, but you never brought it up. since it was the last day, you felt you should congratulate him for the hard work he did in the past months.

it was time for the encore stage, so you tried sneaking out before seungyoun saw you.

“y/n?”

“oh no,” you mumbled, turning towards the voice. seungyoun was there, sweat wetting his neck and the white tank top he was wearing. your eyes trained on his sweat glistened skin, eyes trailing on his tattoo-covered arms and the shirt almost glued to his torso. “i-i was just um.. g-going back to the uh.. hotel to surprise you with something f-for the end of the tour.”

he had his lips tugged in a smirk before nodding, “ahh. okay. well.. i'll see you back at the hotel.” you smile softly, walking to leave in the back. “the surprise better be good.” you heard him say before you felt the warm air of the night hit your skin. you walked to the van, making sure to get the extra key to seungyoun’s room before leaving. immediately after the car stopped, you ran into the hotel, getting everything ready for him.

it took about an hour for him to get back and you were laid upon his bed, a cake right beside you. you received a text from his manager telling you they made it and you rushed to turn off the lights and light the candle on the cake. you sat at the foot of the bed, biting your lip from nervousness just as you heard the door click and seungyoun turning on his light.

“fuck..” he murmured. there you sat, the lingerie fitting you in the best possible of ways.

“surprise,” you said, voice shaken from any nervousness you had before. he closed the door, focusing on you. you stared up at him, standing and walking up to him with the cake in hand. “blow out the candle.”

he tried prying his eyes from yours, but it felt like he couldn't. he blew out the candle but kept his eyes on you. you bit your lip, nodding to the bed, “go sit.”

he took his shoes off and moved to the bed, sitting on the edge of it. you sat the cake down on the bedside table, straddling his lap. he promptly placed his hands on your waist, looking down at your lips. “you were struggling this whole time and didn't tell me. why?”

“i didn't want to bother you or you know… push myself on you like a horny dog.”

you let out a small giggle, rutting against his growing bulge. his grip tightened on your waist, pushing your already soaked core on his jeans. your face fell in the crook of his neck, sighing softly. “you aren't supposed to be pleasuring me.”

he laughed, not loosening his grip on your waist. “what? i finally get to fuck you aren’t gonna let me?”

“i had plans. now let me do them.”

he let go of your waist and sat back on his hands, “go ahead.”

you grinned, shimmying your way off of his lap, grabbing at his thighs. you placed a soft kiss on the tent that was still growing within his tight jeans. he let out a soft whimper by the apparent tension against the fabric.

“you want these off, i bet,” you said, kissing again at his strained cock.

he sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, looking at you nodding swiftly. you began handling his button and zipper, tugging it midway before trapping the metal between your teeth. you kept eye contact with him, dragging it down the rest of the way. you pulled his pants down his waist, massaging his thighs, laughing lightly as he tried to find any sort of friction, thrusting into the air. your hand reached up to stroke him through the thin fabric of his boxers, a groan leaving his lips.

“you’re so fucking sensitive,” you giggled. your hand worked on his clothed member, watching as he sucked his lips in, trying to contain the bawdy sounds that were longing to come out. your fingers latching onto his waistband, pulling the material down, his dick finally being freed from its barrier.

you stared at his dick, the precum leaking from his tip. you felt yourself grow wetter and wetter, rubbing the wet substance from his slit on your thumb. you brought your thumb to your tongue, licking it, feeling the saltiness spread on your taste buds. he wanted nothing but for you to wrap your lips around him, but you kept teasing. your hands worked on his shaft, watching more cum leak out, making your mouth water. you couldn't stop yourself as you dragged your tongue from the bottom to the top of his cock, he shuddered under you, a soft groan leaving his lips.

you wrapped your lips around his bell-rounded tip, swirling your tongue. his hand went to grab at your hair, tugging at the roots. you let out a soft whine, deepthroating before pulling back, seeing the trail of saliva coming from your lips. you guided him back into your mouth, slowly bobbing your head. your hand twisted around him, your mouth working magic. he grabbed at his shirt, stripping it away from his body. your hands gripped his thighs, moving the head of his cock to the back of your throat. you hollowed out your cheeks as much as you could, sending the utmost pleasure into seungyoun.

“you’re so f-fucking good,” his breathing began to pick up, his hips meeting your mouth. he twitched in your mouth and you pulled away just for your mouth to be laced on his tip. you pulled away with a pop, staring up at him.

“look at me younie,” he looked down at you with hooded eyes, one of your hands traveled to his abs, tracing them with a finger. your other hand continued to fondle along his shaft, his cum coating your tongue, your cheeks, and chin. your hand didn't stop until you knew he was finished, smiling at his fucked-out look. you wiped the remaining cum, putting it in your mouth, swallowing. you crawl on his lap as he brought his hand to your face, bringing it to his. he finally brought his lips to yours for the first time. you let out a satisfied sigh as he laid you down on the bed, your head resting on the plush pillow. he moved his hand to your back, unclasping your bra, groping your breasts gently. his lips connected to the soft mound, one of your nipples between his teeth. he sucked on the bud, moving to the other to give it the same attention. his hands caressed your sides, marking your breasts with hickies.

he pulled your panties down, rubbing your clit with two of his fingers. you let out a soft moan, an airy chuckle coming from his lips. “who’s the sensitive one?” you laughed softly, getting cut off by his fingers slipping into your sex with ease. he pumped his digits slowly, the wet sounds coming from your slick, his eyes glued to your body and the way it reacted to just his fingers. his other hand grabbed your face, kissing your lips again, lying beside you to watch his fingers disappear in you. you pulled away, looking down your body, his wet fingers spreading your labia. your moans poured out as his finger thumbed at your clit, rubbing small circles. he pushed two fingers back in your clenching hole.

you grabbed his arm, your head lazing to the side, to bury in seungyuon’s neck. your hips started to match the movements of his fingers, imprinting crescents into his arm. your whimpers were of desperation, his fingers speeding their pace. “shit. please d-don’t stop.”

he smiled softly, curving his fingers. you let out a shaky moan, biting your lip, continuing to stare down at his fingers. his palm connected to your clit, fingers curving and driving into you.

“fuck, right there.”

“mm. you're taking my fingers so well baby.”

you nod, squeezing your eyes shut. you spread your legs wider, grabbing his bicep. he continued his movements, until your hips bucked up into his hand, cumming around the two fingers that were knuckle deep inside you. seungyoun moved his hand under your chin to tilt your head up. you fluttered your eyelids, eyes glossed over, parting your lips. he leaned down, lips once again connecting with yours. he slipped his tongue in, moving his body to hover over yours.

pulling away, you stared into his eyes. “t-there’s condoms in the drawer.” you pointed at the bedside table, resting on your elbows.

“since when?” he chuckled, sliding open the drawer, taking the foil packet out of it.

“since i put them there.”

he stroked himself before he tore the package open, slipping it on, shifting in front of you. “ready?”

“more than.”

it took no time for his cock to stretch your walls. you gripped your thighs, letting out a slight groan, closing your eyes. he gave you time to get used to him before thrusting his hips. he started slow, leaning down peck your lips softly. he looked over at the cake, an idea popping into his mind instantly as he eyed the frosting. he leaned over, gathering some of the frosting on his fingers, tapping your lips slightly. your eyes opened, licking your lips of the sweet cream, opening your mouth, accepting his fingers in. he groaned at the sight of his fingers in your mouth as you sucked and licked them. you looked up at him with half-lidded eyes, grabbing your breasts, his thrusts becoming deeper.

“you're so gorgeous,” he grunted out. he gripped your waist, hitting various angles in you, leaving you a moaning mess. his fingers were still in your mouth as he tried to pull them out. you let go, your dribble trailing from his fingers. he leaned over collecting more of the cream, licking his fingers, but not swallowing it. he leaned down connecting your lips, the frosting spreading in your mouth as well. his tongue played in your mouth, the substance becoming mixed with the saliva in your mouths. his thumb met with your clit, letting out a growl in your mouth as you clenched one time around his groin. you let out a moan, grabbing the sheets, his pace picking up.

“oh my gosh, seungyoun. harder, p-please.”

he took notice of your plea, proceeding to bruise your core. seungyoun sopped up the view of your body under him, crying out his name in an attempt to take in the pleasure he was giving. your back arched off the bed, grabbing the pillow. his dick curved perfectly, hitting the spot you needed to feel that coil start to twist in your abdomen.

“i-i’m close.”

“so am i. just hold on for me,” he said, holding the side of your face. his hand moved from your face to your breasts, gripping the flesh as his thrust became sloppier. “we’re gonna cum together okay?” you nodded, trying to keep your eyes focused on him. he connected to your clit again, and that's all it took. you were sent off the edge, breath rigid and sweat moistening your body. seungyoun threw his head back, groaning loudly, twitching inside of you before releasing his cum in the condom. sweat fell from his brow, as he calmed down his body. he slowly pulled out, you whining from the lack of him in you. he pulled his condom off, tying it and tossing it. he laid beside you rubbing your hip softly, kissing your forehead.

“thank you,” he said softly. you looked up at him, a smile on your face.

“so was the surprise good or what?”

he laughed, “it was great, but now make me a promise.”

you looked at him, waiting for his proclamation.

“keep in contact with me, even after i leave for korea.”

you grinned, leaning up to his lips. “of course i will. maybe i could visit and we could go on a proper date.”

he nodded, sporting the same smile as you. he kissed you softly yet passionately, pulling away before wiping the sweat from your forehead. “round two in the shower?”

“i'll race you,” you got up, taking off to the shower, seungyoun racing behind you.

#woodz #woodz scenario #woodz smut #cho seungyoun #cho seungyoun smut #cho seungyoun scenario #woodz ambw #cho seungyoun ambw #kpop smut #kpop scenarios #kpop ambw #ambw smut #ambw

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mysingularitybts · 4 years

Text

Glances a Jung Hoseok One-Shot

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x famous!reader

Genre: romance,

Warnings: none

Here I was at another big fancy event. Don't get me wrong it was an amazing opportunity and it showed how far I had come in my career. I was honored to be invited to the Variety Hitmakers Brunch, yet I detested how snotty everyone here was.

All award shows of sorts were always the same thing, people bragging about what they won. It seems they forget the reason we are here is to celebrate the music that has the power to change many people's lives. Even the dirtiest songs have the power to help a person. Music can lift people's moods, give them closure, become their relationship songs, give warmth to a romantic moment. Music is always in our lives one way or another making every moment better. It's why it's so crucial in moviemaking. It sets the mood and without it, everything would be much less anticlimactic and boring.

Back to the point at hand, it's not so much the artists who I frown upon, it's the people behind them. Managers and CEO's, they suck the life out of events treating it like a business (which it is for them). Their greedy eyes looking for the next collaboration, for the next hit. They whisper in your ears making you think it's your idea, but it's not. It's all part of their master plan to make more money, to make you do most of the work. Having barely any regard for your health or wants or needs.

I don't want to say it's like I describe all the time because it's not, but a lot of them are like that. I'm one of the lucky few who got a good team behind them. It was no easy task though I failed many times and people failed me, somehow, I managed to get through it. I had my family and friends to pick me up every time I fell and made a mistake. Eventually, I found my amazing manager Carly and she led me to my amazing record label.

It's been five years since I've been in the music industry officially. It all started when I was 16 and had a dream of becoming a successful singer. How naïve I was thinking it was just going to be me signing to my heart's content. HA! It was eventually, but first I had to learn to produce, to practice singing, and to practice dancing. I had to face failure every time my CEO said she didn't like my new song or theme. Having to start over again to come out with something that satisfied her. After finally coming out with an album I loved with all my heart and it being a success I also had to face a lot of hatred and as a 17-year-old girl, it hits you hard. Other than the hatred I also had to manage my personal life and learn to adapt to a new way of life.

It's all in the past now. I learned how to ignore the hate to my best ability. I learned to focus on the fans that loved my work. To hear them out and become even better. There were a lot of things that happened in between, but I like to think they don't matter anymore as long as I learned my lesson. Although my dream to become a singer was very different from what I imagined, I didn't regret it one bit. It led me to where I was right now receiving an award for artist of the year at the Vanity Hitmakers Brunch.

Walking around with Carly leading the way I saw a lot of my colleagues and friends. Depending on what they were doing whether that was being interviewed or simply talking amongst each other I'd wave hello or stop and talk to them. These award things could be reunions between friends since it was hard at times to meet up with everybody since we were all on tour or filming or in different parts of the globe. It was one of the reasons I still came to these events the other reason being the fans. I owed them my success so if seeing me in an award show made them happy then I would go. I would also fangirl over other artists. Can you blame me? I'm only a human that likes listening to people's music.

As I walked around, I saw Billie Eilish, an amazing artist I collaborated with a few months ago. I liked her since she also saw the truth behind this industry, we had an understanding about it and that made us bond. I could only wave since she was in a conversation with one of the organizers of the awards.

As I kept walking and looking around my eyes landed on seven gorgeous men. My jaw dropped not only because of their beauty but because of who they were. It was none other than BTS. My heart raced; I have been a fan of their music since practically the beginning. How did I not know they were going to be here? I've always wanted to meet them, but we never coincided on any past award shows because for some reason every time they went, I had something else going on. I hated myself for it.

With sweaty palms, I debated on going over to them. I mean they were probably busy talking to somebody else yet nobody was approaching them. They even seem bored. Why was that? They were an amazing band that everybody wanted to collaborate with or be seen with. It just didn't make sense. Maybe it was the language barrier? It could be since not many American artists knew Korean.

With that thought in mind, I hung my head in defeat since I didn't know Korean either. Disappointed I turned around to leave when I almost slapped myself across the face in realization. One of them knows English surely with his help you could get the point across that you were a huge fan and not only that, but this dumb bitch also knows Korean.

How could I forget I know a whole other language is beyond me, but it happened. Thank you Nari for teaching me. Nari is my best friend we have known each other since preschool and are still very close. Her parents moved to the United States from Korea when she was still just a baby.

While I was in school my parents often were not around much so the Seong family took care of me until they got off work. Thus, I learned the Korean language and a bit of its culture. Plus, I gained a whole other family who I love very much.

Shaking my thoughts away I began walking over to them. My hands trembling in excitement, my inner fangirl begging to come out. I kept her locked up though because I did not want to make a fool out of myself. As I got closer, I saw Jimin look my way from his spot on one of the sofas that were around the tents.

When I got to where they were, they all stopped talking between themselves and looked up at me. Eyes wide not knowing what to expect.

With a gulp, I bowed and with a trembling voice said in Korean, "Hello, my name is y/n and I am a huge fan of your work." I crossed my fingers hoping my Korean didn't fail me.

With anxiousness, I waited for their response. Suddenly it vanished as Jungkook smiled up at me, stood up and shook my hand.

"Hello y/n, I'm Jeon Jungkook I'm glad you enjoy our work." He said smiling brightly at me.

I almost fainted seeing as 1/7 of BTS was standing in front of me shaking my hand. I was never going to wash my hand again. Gathering my wits, I kept on smiling as the introductions kept going around.

Once all introductions were done, which I think weren't necessary, they made a space for me to sit with them.

"I got to say I didn't expect anybody here to speak our language," Yoongi said from his seat as he looked at me.

"Oh, I only know because of my best friend. She's also Korean and taught me everything I know," I explained, "If I say anything wrong, blame her," I finished joking.

"No, you are doing very well, your friend did a good job," Hoseok said from his spot beside me.

"I have to say I am also a big fan of your music," he then said abashedly.

"Really?!" I said surprised not expecting them to know much about my music.

"Yeah, he has followed your music for about two years now," Taehyung exclaimed as he shot Hoseok a teasing smile.

"He even has a collection of your albums," Jin blurted out trying to get the point across.

"Yah, stop it you are embarrassing me," Hoseok told them, trying to play it cool and hide his blushing face.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about. It makes me so happy that you enjoy my music!" I honestly said holding my hands close to my heart.

It was one thing to meet your idols but for them to also know your music is another level. I felt proud of myself since I looked up to them and their work.

We sat in the middle of the tent talking to our heart's content for a while. I was glad I had the guts to talk to them seeing as they no longer looked so serious or bored. I guess they were just a little lonely and wanted some company. Talking to them felt easy. I thought it would be a bit more awkward, but I was proven wrong. They knew how to hold a conversation. We talked about everything from their upcoming music to my music, to the places we've traveled, and about the awards in itself. There was never a boring moment; they made everything entertaining or interesting.

It was when we were laughing loudly about something Jimin said that my manager came to tell me it was time to go find our seats since the ceremony would begin shortly. With a disappointed sigh, I went to stand up and say goodbye to BTS.

"Well, guys I guess this is goodbye," I started saying sadly, "It was great meeting you, I hope I get to see you again."

"I hope so too," Taehyung said enthusiastically, "I had a lot of fun talking to you."

I looked at them as I bid my farewells. When I got to Hoseok he looked as if he wanted to tell me something but couldn't bring himself to. Yoongi, noticing his reaction, took matters into his own hands.

"Hey y/n, how about we take a picture to remember this day?" he asked, offering a smile.

"Let's do it!" I responded.

They all stood up and got into position. It was Jungkook, Jimin, Taehyung, Namjoon, me, Hoseok, Yoongi, and Jin. I felt as Namjoon wrapped an arm around my shoulders and Hoseok partially wrapped his arm around my waist not quite touching me. Something strange happened to me as I felt very aware of his body heat, touch, and the smell of his cologne.

Once the pictures were taken, I felt disappointed as he stepped away from me. Disregarding those thoughts, I shook my head and bid them goodbye once again. I couldn't believe I had met BTS wait until I told Nari. She is going to freak out and ask me all kinds of questions. I would be able to fangirl with her, but until then I'd have to hold it in.

The awards went, as usual, I cheered on my fellow friends and colleagues, yet I cheered a little louder for my new friends BTS, they truly deserved the award. As someone who has seen them from the beginning, I could say they worked very hard to get to where they are now and had been through some tough times. Not only did they manage to become successful in Korea, but they also paved the way for many Korean artists to get recognized in the United States.

Once the awards ended and all the photoshoots and speeches were done, I found myself walking to the back entrance of the building to get to the SUV waiting for me. My feet were killing me making my back hurt, the makeup on my face felt uncomfortable, and not to mention the dress I was wearing got scratchier the more I had it on.

Deep into my thoughts, I didn't hear a voice calling out to me until Carly nudged her elbow into my side. I looked at her questioningly and she pointed over to the man walking over to me his dimpled smile being a welcoming sight.

"Oh, sorry Namjoon I didn't hear you, what's up?" I spoke as I stopped walking waiting for him to catch up.

"Don't worry, it happens to all of us, I wanted to ask if you were going to the after-party?" he asked as he tilted his head in question. It was a cute sight not going to lie.

"No, I'm not a big fan of after-parties they get too wild," I explained.

"In that case, would you like to meet up with us in a few hours after we get out of here?" he eagerly asked "We are not big fans either of American after-parties. They get awkward for us because of the language barrier," he finished saying.

"I understand," I told him reassuringly, "Count me in."

"We'll stay at our hotel and celebrate there. I'll send you the address," he stated, giving me a smile, his eyes closing at the same time.

"I'll see you there!"

"One more thing!" He exclaimed, "Come in comfortable clothes it'll just be us hanging out, no need for fancy clothing," he then finished explaining seeing my confused face.

"Even better, this dress has been getting more uncomfortable the more I wear it," I said relieved that I wouldn't have to dress up again.

It was fun dressing up, but it got uncomfortable quickly.

"See you later?" Namjoon asked one more time as he started walking away.

"Definitely," I replied as I waved him goodbye.

As soon as I got to my apartment, I took a quick shower and changed into a pair of high waisted leggings and a cropped hoodie. I didn't do much with my makeup, just applied some tinted moisturizer, did my eyebrows, applied some mascara, and some lip balm. Trust me compared to what I was wearing earlier this was nothing. As I got ready Namjoon sent me a text with the address of the hotel and what time I should get there. Luckily the hotel wasn't that far, and I had about an hour to spare. So, I did the only reasonable thing. I took a nap. After my nap, I realized it was time to go.

When I arrived at the hotel, I quickly made my way up to the room Namjoon told me about. As I got closer to the door, I heard a lot of loud voices, yup, I was definitely in the right place.

I knocked on the door and waited for somebody to open it. I didn't have to wait long when Hoseok confusedly opened the door.

"Y/n?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah? Hi Hoseok," I greeted smiling up at him.

"I didn't know you were coming," he confessed, still looking confused.

"Oh, I invited her," Namjoon began saying, "I guess I forgot to tell you, Sorry Hobi."

"Yah Hoseok let her in already," Jin yelled from his place on the sofa.

Hurriedly Hoseok got out of the way and gestured me in. I walked inside and noticed they were all dressed comfortably too in Jeans and their signature Hoodies. As I looked around somebody ran up to me and engulfed me in a hug. When they stepped back, I realized it was Taehyung.

"Hi, Taehyung!" I greeted him.

"Y/n I'm so glad you're here!" he said excitedly, "I was getting bored with these people around." He then said seriously.

I started laughing when I heard a hurt "Hey!" from Jimin.

Unbeknownst to me, Taehyung was sending Hoseok a teasing smile as he glared at him not liking the proximity between us.

"What were you guys up to?" I asked curiously.

"Nothing much we were going to start a live soon," Jungkook answers as he set up a tripod in front of the sofa.

"Oh! In that case let me know so I can scooch over a corner while you talk to army," I told them kindly.

"Nonsense you get to be with us in the live," Jimin said from his place on the dining table the hotel offered.

"Are you sure?" I questioned with uncertainty, "I know you guys don't usually have guests in your lives."

BTS usually didn't do lives with other people. They did them mainly amongst themselves. I didn't know how army would take it if they had somebody else with them, especially a girl. They would certainly have something to say about it.

"We're sure. Don't worry, it'll be fun!" Hoseok said from behind me as he patted my shoulder.

As soon as the setup was done we all gathered around the sofa. Jungkook, Jimin, Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi sat on the L shaped sofa while Taehyung, Hoseok, and I sat on the floor leaving me in between them.

Surprisingly the live went very smoothly and it was a lot of fun. I didn't see many hate comments just questioning ones as to why I was there. The guys introduced me as their new friend and as we went along the live there were opportunities for me to get to know them a bit better.

While I sat there, I felt as Hoseok's leg pressed against mine, making me feel flustered. Warmth spread through me the more the live went on. At some point he whispered something in my ear in a low voice that made me lose focus on what was happening around me. He was doing things to me I couldn't explain. I wonder if he also felt the same things I did. Towards the end of the live I couldn't focus anymore. The strange thing was that Taehyungs leg was also very close to mine and he even had his arm around me for some time, yet that did not bother me in any way.

When the live ended my thoughts were interrupted by Jimin giving out a yell as he opened a bottle of champagne. Deciding not to think of my bodies reaction to the rapper beside me I shook my head and accepted the glass Namjoon offered me.

I was glad I came to what I now call the BTS afterparty. The guys were amazing and came up with the weirdest games.

Throughout the night I couldn't help but sneak glances at Hoseok. My eyes always wondered to him without my consent and whenever he spoke my attention would instantly be on him. At one point when I turned to look at him, he was already staring at me very intensely. I tried to hold eye contact, his eyes were very dark and alluring causing me to get lost in them, feeling as if I had fallen into a dark abyss. There was so much emotion in his gaze, I got overwhelmed and looked away. I felt as a blush crept up my cheeks and as I looked back up again, he gave me a smirk.

Wasn't Hoseok supposed to be the sunshine of the group? This wasn't sunshine, sure it was fiery but it was also sinful and flirty and dark.

After a while and I decided I had enough to drink so I got up to leave. I wasn't drunk or tipsy but if I kept drinking, I would get there. I bid my farewells promising to see them again soon and left the room. As the doors to the elevator started to close a hand stopped them and a man came in.

Looking up at him I confusedly asked, "Hoseok?"

"Y/n wait," he said rushed.

"What is it?" I asked nervously.

It was only the two of us in the elevator and as I recalled all the glances and grins he gave me back in the room, I started growing nervous. I stuck my hands in the front pocket of my hoodie to try and hide their trembling.

He got very close to me, our chests almost touching. He leaned his face down towards mine. I felt his hands graze my cheeks with his breath mixing with mine. He got closer, his lips brushing on mine until he pulled away. I hadn't realized I had closed my eyes but as he grew the distance between us, I opened them in confusion, disappointment reflecting in them. I was breathless even though the kiss didn't happen and as I looked at him, he was the same way.

Hoseok still had his hands on my face and I felt as he grazed his thumb on my lips. For some reason, he also had a disappointed look on his face. I wonder why, he could have kissed me if he wanted, plus, he was the one in control of the whole situation. He could have done anything and I wouldn't have protested.

"Let me take you out on a date first," he said, answering my silent question.

I could only nod but that was not enough for him.

He got closer again but this time it was to whisper in my ear, "I need to hear you say it."

His voice was low and raspy. I couldn't stop the goosebumps from arising on my skin.

"Y-Yes, I'd, um, love to go on a date with you," I felt like a schoolgirl as I stuttered.

I jumped as I felt the elevator ding signaling it had arrived at its destination. Somehow without me noticing he had stepped away taking his warmth with him and leaving me cold.

"I'll see you soon for our date, y/n," he then said cheerfully, his attitude changing completely from before.

"Bye Hoseok," I said perplexed at the sudden change.

I walked away from the elevator but turned to look back. There he was staring at me again as the door closed and just before they did, he sent me a wink as a seductive smile made its way to his lips.

A/N: I don't think I've ever written anything like this. So, if you guys enjoyed it please let me know and make sure to like and reblog to show your support.

Im still shocked at what I wrote. It honestly started as an innocent idea but towards the end something like happened. It's not smutty but like I tried to write a tension between them.

Did you feel it? Did it need more?

Please let me know!

See you guys later ;) 💜 x

-Nikki Marie

71 notes · View notes

saladejin · 4 years

Text

Broken | Seokjin (M)

Seokjin x Reader | idolverse au, established boyfriend!Seokjin | Pining, rough smut, fluffy undertones

Summary: Free time is hard to come by for the two of you, but soon another problem arises in the form of his beloved bandmates.

Warnings: Rough sex, swearing, mature and explicit themes, wet dreams

Word Count: 4.9k

<< masterlist

* Request from my Ao3 series ‘Movie Night’.

Skin tingling with excitement and breaths coming out in short gasps, your hands found purchase buried deep within his thick strands of hair.

His lips melded themselves to your own while his fingers roamed your figure expertly. He knew exactly where to touch to turn you into a whimpering mess, and he would never stop learning. It was like your body was a panel of buttons, and he the curious child wanting nothing more than to find out what each and every one did.

“Baby…”

The man slowly grinding his hips into your clothed core didn’t respond to your plead. You wondered if his brain was too occupied, because you knew yours was surely gone. Your fingers traced the firm outlines of his abdominal muscles and travelled upwards to use his wide shoulders for leverage. You could hear his hurried and shallow breathing the more you swivelled your hips to create the desired friction.

Another moan tore from you when you felt his hands moving everywhere at once. Their familiar warmth cupping your aching sex attentively. You arched at the memory of his fingers trailing the sensitive outlines and openings.

“Seokjin, I need you,” You gasped, looking upwards but feeling frustrated that the shadows masked the face of your lover.

You reached forwards for him, eager to have him in any way you possibly could…

Oh to hell with it all!

Reality was fucking harsh. You awoke with groan of disapproval and shifted your sweaty body around in the sheets hesitantly. Just as expected, you felt a certain slickness coating the insides of your thighs again.

This was literally the third sex dream you had conjured up in the past week or so. Each time you snapped open your eyes to find yourself cold and alone in your bed, you felt the wave of disappointment washing over you growing stronger. God, you missed him.

I just want him back in my arms. I just want him.

You sighed as you imagined the smiling face of your long-term boyfriend, the one and only Kim Seokjin of BTS. Life was pretty hectic considering you both worked taxing jobs, with him being a world famous idol and you being a full-time teacher at a private academy a fair drive away. Time had become very difficult for you both to find, but lately Seokjin’s had completely cancelled out when the band began promoting their new album overseas. After that, the bucket-loads of fame brought on caused even more difficulty and restriction on you both.

If it wasn’t for the strong bond and resilience you both upheld, the relationship would have broken to pieces a long time ago.

You grabbed your phone from the nightstand and got up to start the day, trying to ignore the sexual frustration tearing at your insides. A tiny light winked at you from the screen’s surface.

“Good morning my love, I hope you slept well x”

You felt the fluffy warmth spread through you as you reread his text again, but rolled your eyes when you thought about how you actually slept.

Should I let him know? It would probably cause problems.

You shrugged because caution had never been a part of your relationship in the first place. Direct teasing was what created so much of the chemistry between the both of you, and it was almost always much to the disapproval of the other members.

“Good morning! It would have been better if I was getting fucked by the real you and not a dream.”

You watched with an evil cackle as the three little dots appeared and disappeared several times.

“I’ll have to tell my dream-self to do a little better. It’ll only be a few more days until I’m the one breaking the bed again, sweetheart.”

You felt so pathetic for getting turned on by his simple cheesy text, but you were so starved at this point you couldn’t really blame your brain for weakening. He was due to come back to Korea in the next few days, so you really wouldn’t have to long to wait.

“Sounds promising, I’ll order a new one tonight.”

You left the room chuckling quietly to yourself. The weight of his words usually proved fruitful, and the fact that you had both freed up a single weekend was exciting enough. This rarely ever happened so you knew you were both super keen to spend time together for two whole days in a row.

It’s sad to think how even that has become special.

You settled down with your breakfast, already falling into the usual routine of your daily texting with Seokjin. He usually sent you all kinds of funny pictures with the other members, as well as beautiful photos of any places they went. You found yourself having your own private tour each and every day, and you always thought about how caring he was to take all that time out for you.

Not for long. Soon, (Y/n), soon you won’t need to see anything but the bedroom.

You really needed to clear your sex-driven mind.

The door swung open and you threw yourself into Seokjin’s arms without hesitation. He had arrived back late in the night and had already slept off most of the jet-lag before texting you to let you know he was on his way to your house. You had almost certainly jumped out of your skin in surprise, because even though you knew you were both longing for each other, you still hadn’t been prepared at all.

“Sorry babe, I tried to stop them but they wouldn’t listen,” Seokjin grunted lowly into your ear, and you tried your best to stifle a shiver at the sound to think about the words.

“Noona! It’s great to see you!” A voice boomed, and you leaned back from the broad chest of your boyfriend to see Taehyung, Jimin and Hoseok filtering in behind him.

“Guys, oh! How have you been?”

You moved to give them all friendly hugs, hoping to mask your utter shock. You glanced behind to see Seokjin gritting his teeth in cleverly hidden annoyance, but you knew him too well for it to be completely invisible. There were slight bags underneath his beautiful brown eyes.

He probably didn’t even tell the boys no, knowing how much they’ve wanted to visit lately.

You invited everyone inside and offered drinks immediately. The fun chatter built up and you left the bustling boys to themselves to go and get some water for them. If you had known they were coming and staying for a while, maybe you wouldn’t have been so quick to throw on the horribly risky lingerie set you’d bought a few weeks ago.

Soft footsteps sounded behind you and suddenly your body was being turned around to press backwards into the kitchen bench. You ran your arms up to loop around Seokjin’s neck, grateful that the kitchen was walled off from the other guys and their watchful eyes.

“I wanted to come here alone,” Seokjin exhaled, seemingly in a daze as he moved one of his hands down to grasp loosely at your waist. You ignored the fire spreading from his subtle touch and craned forward to press a loving kiss to his plump lips.

“I missed you so much, I wouldn’t care if you brought your whole fanbase with you.” You blinked pointedly.

He cracked a smile and pressed another tender kiss to your lips, the wet sound echoing through your mind jarringly. You knew if you focused your attention on his uneven breathing you would lose what little control you had left. It was bad enough that he had started to push his body further into yours as the seconds drew onwards.

“I haven’t had you in so long,” he sighed and sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to lean in and close any distance you might have had. You felt the heat pooling in your lower regions like some kind of dam had broken. His needy and darkened gaze called for your touch and attention loudly.

“(Y/n)-noona? We brought you a gift from America, do you want to open it now?” Jimin’s voice called from the living room. You realised with a jolt how filthy the current scene would seem, as Seokjin almost had you sprawled out on the surface of the bench. You probably would’ve let him take you right then and there too.

You looked at your beloved boyfriend knowingly before squeezing his biceps in reassurance and pushing off the edge of the counter. His loud disappointed sigh basically summed up your entire mood, but you knew you still had the whole upcoming weekend to yourselves.

“Coming!” You smiled tightly, preparing to walk out with the glasses of water in hand.

“Well fuck, you could be,” came Seokjin’s irritated mumble.

You tried your best to fight down the sparks of arousal at hearing his angry rasp behind you, but it was all pointless in the end. Your level-headed boyfriend bickered with others quite often, but when he was actually angry, boy that was another story.

Last time you had seen him that worked up, it had been over how he couldn’t get a certain dance move right even after hours upon hours of practice. He had come over with all his muscles tensed up from the building fury, and when you had offered to relieve his tension, he hadn’t hesitated on fucking you hard into the early hours of the next morning.

That’s a memory I should not be thinking of right now. Next thing I’ll be dropping to my knees right in front of the boys!

You shook your head, trying to concentrate on the words Jimin and Taehyung were speaking as they described each perfume they had discovered and brought back. You were so grateful for their thoughtfulness and thanked them so many times for the presents, but your eyes kept wandering to where Seokjin was sitting with his legs crossed conveniently; his eyes averted and fingers tapping to a random rhythm against the arm of the couch.

It had been way too long. It was almost too much for you to stand being in the same proximity as him, and even if he felt the same there was nothing either of you could really do except wait it out.

Your panties were soaking as you smashed in the code for Bangtan’s dorm. Seokjin had been constantly riling you up for the past hour over text, and now that you had finally managed to make your way over things were very heated for you. Your fingers trembled with adrenaline and you cursed when you accidentally punched in the wrong number more than once.

He had managed to score the whole dorm to himself for a small amount of time. This was an absolute triumph, because even though you had both freed up the weekend, escaping the members was truly another task in itself.

“Jin I-”

“Baby I’m so glad you’re here!” Seokjin’s noticeably forced shout caused you to stop in your tracks. The shock tightened its grip as you realised you definitely weren’t alone.

Your boyfriend sat on the couch surrounded by his smiling bandmates who were joking amongst themselves, but you knew by his painfully apologetic eyes and conspicuously placed couch cushion that this hadn’t been planned at all.

“Hey noona, we finished practice early so we could have a movie night!” Jungkook greeted as he jumped up to hug you warmly. You just couldn’t let the disappointment hang around for long when this bunny made an appearance.

“Hey Kook-ah.” You smiled sharply, trying to edge away from him so he wouldn’t accidentally feel what you were wearing underneath.

Fuck, Seokjin knows what it looks like too…

You locked eyes with your boyfriend and you both silently conveyed a sorrowful message.

Yes, you would need to do some more waiting apparently. Children were high maintenance, but you knew if this would’ve gone completely your way you would have dragged him into the nearest bedroom and ridden him like your life depended on it.

Sometimes he was just so caring it hurt; quite literally in your case if your weeping pussy had anything to say about it.

“Um, so what are we watching?” you asked through clenched teeth, smoothing down your skirt in hopes of hiding any ‘evidence’. You looked up again to see Yoongi slouched deep in his armchair and felt your heart thump when his piercing eyes flickered from you to Seokjin knowingly.

Shit, I forgot how perceptive this guy was.

You could see the hints of a half-amused smirk tugging at the rapper’s lips, and the fact that Seokjin’s cheeks were reddening gave away that he had noticed too. You had no time to feel the mortification creep up on you since the younger ones were already dragging you towards the couch.

“We picked a great action one, you’ll love it,” Taehyung rushed excitedly and barely even gave you time to comprehend what he was saying.

“Sorry we haven’t got enough room on the couch,” Jimin clicked his tongue, eyes scanning the room intently for a spare spot. You smiled and opened your mouth to say you were fine on the floor, but someone slipped in before you could speak.

“It’s fine, she can just sit on Seokjin’s lap like she always does. They’re together after all,” Yoongi suggested while craftily masking his intentions under a smile. You saw the way the smirk still poked through his guise all the same.

This sneaky bastard.

But you would admit, this had created the perfect opportunity to tease your boyfriend a little. Usually you wouldn’t hesitate at the chance, but this time you knew you would probably suffer just as badly. Seokjin met your eyes and gave the tiniest shake of his head in warning, there was no way he would be able to handle himself if your ass was pressing itself against his rock hard cock.

“Guess there’s nothing wrong with that.” You shrugged and watched as Jin’s expression crumbled into one of darkness and defeat. You knew exactly what was in store for you, and you loved it.

Yoongi covered the bottom of his face with one hand to muffle the chuckle threatening to break past. You smiled towards Hoseok and Namjoon on the other couch before strolling over and glancing down at your boyfriend with lidded eyes. He opened his arms for you, just as usual, but you felt the vital difference as soon as you sat down onto his muscled thighs.

A deep exhale brushed past your ear as he shifted underneath you, and every inch of your skin tingled with heat as you felt the prominent outline twitch suddenly. He was so aroused it was almost too much for even you to bear.

“Please try to stop moving, please (Y/n),” he blew into your ear almost silently. You couldn’t suppress the shiver that racked your form at the sensation of his breath, but this only caused a tiny grunt to fall from his lips. Damn, you were both way too sensitive to each other tonight, and Yoongi knew it too. The sly fox only sat there watching you two with the biggest shit-eating grin you had ever seen.

“Okay it’s getting good, everyone be quiet from now on.” Jungkook brought a finger to his lips, bunny eyes gleaming with enthusiasm as he grabbed Taehyung’s arm and ran to sit back down on the floor. Seokjin had his head bent forward to rest against your back as his whole body tensed up. You knew he was struggling to keep himself together.

“(Y/n) I’m about to lose it, stop fucking moving.” He shuddered as you unintentionally moved to get more comfortable. You just knew he was about to reach the breaking point, but he would regret everything if he exposed you both so quickly, so you reached to squeeze his hand in reassurance.

“Not here. Come over after the movie and we’ll make it real good,” you leaned down to whisper almost silently into his ear so nobody else could overhear. His lip was bitten as he registered the words, the tension from the implied promise hanging thickly in the air. If he had really wanted to calm himself down he would’ve sat on the floor himself not even minutes in.

You almost squeaked when he rolled his hips slowly upwards just once. Just small enough so you could feel what was waiting for you, but not noticeable to anyone else in the room. Even Yoongi had shifted his attention to the movie and had forgotten about the two horny beings sitting on the couch barely two metres away.

Minutes flew by as you struggled to keep your attention anywhere else, but you kept failing time and time again.

“Hey Jin-hyung?”

Your heart skipped a beat as Seokjin’s minuscule grinding came to a halt, a large breath trying to casually leave his lungs.

“Yeah?” His low voice crackled slightly.

“Now that it’s over can you help me with that hour-long vocal training thing you were talking about?” Jimin asked as he got to his feet and dusted off his shirt from the popcorn pieces.

Wait it’s over?

You were aghast as you looked over to see the credits of the movie scrolling down the screen. You had literally been focusing on the hard outlines pressing into your clothed heat the entire time. Now the cold dread and disappointment lodged itself deeply into your chest as you looked back to gauge Seokjin’s response. Your underwear was nothing but a scrap of wet cloth at this point.

“Argh! Fuck this!”

To your utter surprise, you felt two large hands swooping down to pick you up somewhat roughly. Everyone else gaped as Seokjin yanked you into his chest and marched furiously towards the hallway where his bedroom was. You were left to helplessly cling onto his neck as he abducted you away from everyone else.

“What was that about?” Hoseok was quick to pipe up, wondering why his eldest bandmate had gotten so agitated. Jimin quickly held up his hands to show his innocence, but Yoongi and Namjoon exchanged amused glances.

“If I were you, I'd go plug in your headphones.”

You were breathing heavily as Seokjin kicked open his already ajar door, not even caring if he made enough noise to alert the whole building.

“Are you okay babe?” you huffed, watching in amazement as he proceeded to close the door by knocking it with his hip sharply. He didn’t utter a word and only growled before throwing you onto the bed.

Excitement crawled up your body as you were suddenly being pressed into the mattress, his lips were on you in an instant, hungry and desperate. Nothing could be heard but your occasional gasps for air as the primal urges took over.

He needed to have you, and you needed to have him inside you as soon as possible. You positively ached for it.

“Sorry, I just can’t waste time right now,” Seokjin grunted, eyebrows still furrowed from the irritation lingering in his mind. You knew this look. This was the look, the one that had gotten you mercilessly drilled for hours on end. Your heart almost stopped at the strong surge of arousal licking at your abdomen.

“No foreplay needed, I’m flooding myself right now.”

He locked eyes with you for one electrifying moment before licking his lips and pulling you close to his heated body. Without warning, he plunged one hand underneath the edge of your skirt to search for proof of your words, and your lusty whimper mingled with his pleased moan as he ran his fingers along the dripping entrance he found there.

“Fuck, I could slip in so easily.”

You eyed the prominent bulge growing even larger in his pants, but couldn’t act because you were now both too busy undressing yourselves. He was as ravenous as a starved dog, and there was barely a moment where he wasn’t marking your skin or leaving wet kisses in his wake. You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself either, and the sinful noises falling from him only drove you onward.

You let out a breathy moan as he flipped you onto your stomach roughly. You caught sight of his tensed muscles briefly, and you knew he was so worked up it was insane, yet exhilarating at the same time.

“How will you take me?” You moved one arm to sweep your hair over your shoulder, letting him see the entire expanse of your arched back and rounded ass on full view.

“Wow, just like this. I can’t make it slow tonight, I want to fuck your brains out (Y/n),” he almost whispered, voice low and raspy with desire. You didn’t need to see his eyes to know they were filled with a familiar fire, but the thought caused a fresh wave of need to hit you full-force, and suddenly a trail of your own hot wetness slid down your thigh.

“My God, are you trying to kill me?” He groaned and you heard the breath leaving his lungs harshly. The ripping of the condom packet made you jump in anticipation. You arched your back further and sighed, completely ready for this bundling ball of pent up frustration to unleash his wrath onto you and your pussy.

His hand smoothed down your back and you felt the tiny hairs rising at the sensation. This upped sensitivity was going to be the death of you both, and you knew he could also tell by the way your thighs trembled with longing.

“Head down, my love.”

With that he thrust forward and made sure to follow through with a smooth grind of his hips. You cried out in pure pleasure as his length eased past your soaking folds with little resistance. You shifted backwards to meet him, but still winced at the somewhat tight fit. It had been a while, but at least you had plenty of time to get accustomed.

“O-oh, oh that’s good,” He moaned painfully above you, but you knew the serenity wouldn’t last. He was too frenzied to stop at any moment. His hands were already gripping firmly at the tops of your thighs to spread your bent legs further apart.

A plethora of bruises later, but I’m not complaining now…

You sunk your teeth into the nearest pillow as he began setting a punishing pace. Your walls were being battered by his cock, and he was hitting that sweet spot so rapidly you were already coming undone beneath him. You angled your body higher and couldn’t help but moan wantonly at how he hit you in even deeper places.

“This is for all the time we could’ve been fucking,” Seokjin growled through gritted teeth. “A whole weekend, this is a whole weekend in one.”

You widened your eyes at his words, feeling tears prick at the corners from the pure amount of pleasure building up in your core. He twisted you so you rotated on his cock to lay on your back again, and only groaned in approval when your head and shoulders were met by his headboard with a dull ‘thud’.

“Don’t hide anything, I don’t care if they hear everything,” he breathed into your ear as he spread your thighs open once more, the surface of your skin visibly glistening with your fluids. He took in the sight eagerly before looking up with darkened eyes. You knew how completely messed up you were, but he looked pretty fucked too with his flushed complexion and shuddering breaths.

You opened your mouth to reply, but he shoved his thick cock back into your heat unexpectedly, and your words came out in a garbled scream. This new missionary angle felt even more deliciously sensitive and deeper.

“That’s it,” he grunted, brows creasing in concentration as he watched every little contortion of your expression.

He fucked hard and fast, not leaving any room for thinking as you climaxed shockingly. Your thighs shook and your whole abdomen clenched as the orgasm racked your form. Your cry of relief could probably be heard by the whole dorm, but you couldn’t let your mind wander to that when Seokjin picked up the pace again.

The feeling of your walls spasming around his length caused his common sense to fly out the window. He lowered his body onto yours so he could enter you quickly and easily, your beautiful and breathy noises edging him further to the edge he so desperately sought.

Your shoulders and back continuously edged further up the headboard as he pounded into you. You could vaguely hear the banging of the wood against the snowy white wall behind, but your attention was ripped away as another orgasm abruptly bloomed and jerked your entire body into uncontrollability.

Seokjin reached up to still your shoulders, throwing his head back in complete ecstasy as he allowed the slow rhythmic rolling of your muscles to send him over. He groaned loudly as he came, abdominal muscles tensing as he breathed deeply and gently moved his hips to ride out the finish. You were a sight to behold below him, eyes closed and swollen lips hanging open in blissful shock. He watched in admiration as your clammy body continued to jolt occasionally from the aftershocks.

No words were spoken, but you felt his lips against your skin through the haze clouding your mind. He tenderly trailed the outlines of your neck and jawline as if saying ‘thank you, I’m sorry’. You only gasped as another wave of sensitivity coursed through you from head to curled toes. You could still feel the heavy weight of him nestled inside you, but you didn’t want him to leave.

“You’re always so good to me baby. I needed that.” He sighed and almost reluctantly pulled out of your soaking folds slowly. You whined as the sharp feeling almost brought you closer to the edge again, but the stimulation was just too much. He inhaled sharply in stunned disbelief and moved to calm you down with soft words of encouragement.

“I-I think that’s the best sex we’ve had. You were amazing and fuck, if that wasn’t the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced,” You breathed out, eyes still closed and one hand resting over your eyes as you tried to see anything other than stars. His deep chuckle sounded from somewhere beside you as he got up to dispose of the condom. You sighed before also getting up to use the toilet and clean up a little.

“If only we could go at it for two days…We waited for so long,” he murmured as you returned from the bathroom to see him pulling on some loose pants. You looked around and found one of his large shirts to throw on before climbing back into bed with him.

“Well considering how rough you were when you were angry, I wouldn’t mind getting you like that more often.” You smirked as you cuddled into his chest, trying your best to ignore the dull ache flaming from your lower regions.

“What? (Y/n) if you wanted me to be rougher all you had to do was ask.” He snorted, reaching down to smooth away some of your hair and pull you further into his arms. You hummed as he pecked tiny kisses down your bare arm.

“Well, I guess I just found out.”

The next morning you woke a little earlier than usual. Seokjin still slept soundly as you smiled at the sight of his slightly parted lips and fluttering eyelashes. He was so adorable when he was like this, but then your mind flashed back to the smouldering heat within his gaze and the rough pumps of his hips last night.

Well everyone has their duality I guess.

You took a deep breath as you swung your legs out of the bed, wanting to prepare your boyfriend an amazing breakfast for making you feel so good the night before. You made it to the door with a little difficulty, but as soon as you tried to walk normally the ache flared from your vagina and you stumbled forwards into the hallway.

Your knees bent at awkward angles as you tried to shuffle down the passageway, wincing while keeping one hand clenched at your pelvis almost as a reassurance. Damn, he had seriously taken away your ability to walk this time.

You grunted in exasperation, yet somehow didn’t completely hate the sore feeling. You looked up in determination to get to the kitchen but felt your breath hitch when you saw Yoongi and Namjoon sitting at the bench eyeing you in shock.

Shit, they just watched me amble down the hall like a newborn deer.

“Uh, maybe you should get some rest (Y/n),” Namjoon suggested with a kind smile tugging at his lips. He had a half-eaten slice of toast in front of him, and you felt hunger bubble up in your stomach at the combination of smells.

“God knows you didn’t get any last night…” Yoongi mumbled and you stifled a surprised chuckle as Namjoon wacked his fellow rapper’s shoulder, utterly horrified. You leaned against the wall as they looked to you for a response.

“Well,” you began with a smug raise of your eyebrows. “I’d be lying if I said you were wrong.”

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