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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

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I (26, NB) dropped a long-term friend (23, not disclosing gender, I'll call them X) for being a proshipper, and now they're trying to get in the way of my other friendships.

A little more than a month ago, an old friend from when I was an itty bitty teen on the internet (we met when they were 12 and I was 15 or so) messaged me on twitter asking if we could share discord since they're more active on that platform, and they missed hanging out. Ok, no prob!! I missed talking to X and life was going kinda icky for me at the time. We exchanged discords and started talking more frequently, before we would talk through twitter dms maybe one day every few months, and we went from almost no contact to talking every single day. It was like being a teenager again; we still shared similar interests and we really fast clicked over old and new fandoms we were in. We talked about college and how they're starting to get the hang of their new job but needed support, talked about our family lives, etc., and in general I felt really comfortable and happy to be chatting again with someone I've known for so long. We were inseparable for weeks.

However... of course, as adults, and having known each other for YEARS, we started talking about fandom ships and fics we enjoyed. We didn't have the same taste in pairings, but that was okay. Until it wasn't anymore.

I shared my NSFW twitter with them, and they followed me. A few minutes later X told me, "I see you have "proship DNI in your bio, I just want to let you know that I am a pro-ship and enjoy some things in fandom that you might think is gross. I hope that's okay."

I was kind of weirded out, and told them that as long as they didn't like anything that would be criminal in real life, that's fine. They told me they *did* enjoy things in fiction that they "wouldn't condone in reality" and even though they "don't talk about it publicly" they still wanted me to know. For some reason. ?? Even though they KNOW that I have an irl history of abuse as a kid, they still told me this.

I was so fucking uncomfortable and really, really sad, and honestly I felt betrayed? I stepped away from my account for like, an hour before messaging them back and saying I didn't want to continue talking to them anymore. That I didn't know they were that kind of person and I'm not comfortable being their friend. I didn't read their response to me because I soft-blocked them.

While I was getting over that and trying to move on, a few days later I was talking to another mutual friend of ours when they asked if I was still friends with X. I got chills remembering how I broke off with them, and said no, we weren't talking anymore. That they were the kind of person that made me really uneasy and uncomfortable to be around. The mutual friend, I'll call R, said that X was "feeling kind of down about losing a friend recently" and talked about it in a discord server they share. X didn't mention my name but R wondered if it was me who dropped them since I was really touchy about boundaries online. I freaked out a little thinking about them talking about me, and asked what else they said, and R told me "not much, just that they felt sad but it was your choice in the end because you two were different" and I don't know why but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Were they trying to make people seem like I was the bad guy or something?? Idk.

I told R the reason why I stopped talking to X, and that X is a proshipper who likes things like inc*st and rape, and R wasn't as supportive as I thought he would be, saying that he understood how I felt but if X was being honest and open about their interests, it probably meant they trusted me and didn't want to "lie" to me. I don't understand how that's even relevant if X is a fucking proshipper. I don't want their trust in the first place if that's who they really are, and I felt betrayed that someone I knew for so long was hiding that for me until we were bonding again. R basically dropped it there and said "idk then" and I told him I was going to shut off my notifs for a bit. I really don't want to talk with him again right now especially since he didn't seem THAT bothered by X being a proshipper who's into really criminal shit.

Since then, friends of mine who are also friends with R (because he's a friend of X still, for some reason), haven't been replying to me as much anymore and I'm super sensitive to noticing these things, at first I told myself it was nothing, but there's an obvious decrease in our interactions. I can't help but think that X actually said bad stuff about me, and R didn't want me to know, or maybe X convinced R that I was a terrible person or something. I still haven't read X's reply to me because I genuinely do not want to interact with them ever again, but for the past few days I've been so angry and hurt by my other friend's actions that I can't help but want to blame them, since this all started when I left them.

AITA for dropping a friend because their interests made me SEVERELY uncomfortable? I don't know what to do.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #ship discourse

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 26 days

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I was given oral herpes by someone who didn't feel the need to disclose that they got cold sores before we had a one-time little dalliance.

I might've gone for it anyways. I'm self destructive. But I guess the lack of being able to choose whether to take the risk, it's left me feeling pretty bitter about the experience.

And I'm left feeling like a biohazard. I haven't really been able to explain to my friends yet why I'm suddenly extremely cagey about sharing my drinks and food. And all my favorite sexual activities are off the table forever. I know, dental dams, condoms, but half the fun of oral sex and making out is, you know, the taste, the heat, the absolute control. I was good at it.

It feels especially embarrassing since I'm ace and the whole reason I hooked up with the person was kind of... I don't know, fear that if I didn't, then we wouldn't be able to hang out anymore.

I'm not sure what I'm asking. Maybe, was it wrong for them not to disclose something like that? Considering how common it is? I feel obligated to disclose myself but maybe I'm just weird for that.

Thanks for doing what you do here.

Kind regards,

Asexual for Ethical Reasons Now I Guess

hi anon,

I don't often apologize for needing time to get to anons, because I really need people to have reasonable expectations about the amount of time I'm willing to commit to my inbox, but I am sorry for not getting to this one sooner. it's a topic that's very important to me, and I can tell you're dealing with a lot of hurt.

first off: I'm very sorry someone wasn't totally honest with you. that's never a good feeling, and especially in the context of sex it's a huge betrayal of trust. it's deeply unfair to you, and I hope you're able to recover from that.

having said that: you are not a biohazard. you're a person with an incredibly common virus. the World Health Organization estimates that somewhere around 80% of people worldwide have herpes (and that's a rough estimate, since they use different age ranges for HSV-1 and HSV-2). skip to the factual part of this tiktok at 00:10 seconds. herpes has been with us since before we were human; there's nothing disgusting or even unusual about having herpes.

herpes is different from most STIs in that it is lifelong, but that doesn't make you an unfuckable pariah. it makes you someone who may sometimes have open sores, and should give partners a heads up about your virus to avoid putting anyone in the same situation you're in. while you're at it, let them know that most people with herpes live asymptomatic and uncomplicated lives. many people never even know they have it!

I understand that spending the rest of your life with a viral buddy doesn't sound super fun right now, but I promise that as viruses go you can do WAY worse.

personally I've always felt the best way to get comfortable with something is to learn more about it. why not let clinical sexologist Dr. Doe talk to you about her own herpes, and how to be conscientious about minimizing the risk of sharing herpes with others?

youtube

or listen to writer Ella Dawson talk about learning to cope with the exact stigma you're currently struggling with?

or listen to Dr. Sydnee Smirl McElroy explain why herpes bears such a heavy stigma for such a mild virus in the first place?

you're not a biohazard, and neither is anyone else with an STI. that's a terrible way to think about yourself and others.

you're under no obligation to stop being sexually active if you don't want to be.

please don't feel that you have to have sex with anyone out of a sense of obligation anymore, but also please don't feel that herpes is a punishment. sickness isn't something that happens to people because they're bad or deserve, sickness happens to people because people get sick.

take care 💜

#sex edventures 2024

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therantingsage · 2 months

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Because I promised this, and I really wanted to do it anyway, here's a really really long-winded rambling dissertation on:

Why N and Uzi secretly dating since before episode 5 is genuinely super plausible and also stupidly hilarious /pos

Under the cut cuz it got obscenely long oops-

Idk where to start, so I'll just cover my bases: why people think they've been in a relationship already in the first place.

We all saw this scene:

And legit it can only be implying one of two things. Either A: this is his confession of feelings for her. Or B: this is him admitting that they've been dating for a while at this point. With the hearts it's pretty clear that this statement is meant to be romantically interpreted, and Nori's aghast reaction confirms that that's how it's being interpreted.

Obviously no matter the interpretation, N only writes that because he can't think of anything else to snap Uzi out of it and thereby stop this confrontation from ending poorly. And it works obviously so good on him for the quick thinking.

Two things that make me lean towards the 'we're dating' interpretation over 'confession' interpretation, though: firstly, he's not writing this to tell Uzi something, he specifically calls out to Nori before writing it. "Hey btw I'm dating your daughter" makes more sense than "Hey btw I like your daughter romantically" because if it was the latter, Nori has far less reason to be mad at Uzi about it rather than N. It's not like Uzi can control how N feels. But if they're dating, that means Uzi is partially to blame for that and Nori can get upset at HER.

Secondly, the awkward wording. Like it's really vague and without the hearts you'd have no reason to assume anything but platonic meaning. But these are words we, and him, have heard before:

...from Uzi, in response to a question about who she is and, by proxy, the nature of their relationship. She says it defensively, follows it up by telling N to shut up. N repeating her wording which, again, is a description of the nature of their relationship....but this time implying something romantic with it, it suggests the idea that it had romantic implications the first time.

I don't think it's far-fetched to say Uzi at least has feelings for N at this point in the story. I don't think anyone's arguing that that's not true. But the idea that 'hang out' means the exact same thing both times is what I'm arguing here. They're dating, but this version of N is a stranger to her. A cute stranger, as she says, but a stranger nonetheless who she isn't comfortable admitting to that she's dating him in the future to his face.

Backing up a bit, Uzi's reaction to Nori's reaction:

This is a clear and obvious parallel to the previous episode, when 'Tessa' says "Don't date my robot, please."

In both instances, someone gets on her case about the idea of them dating, and in both cases she doesn't deny it but instead defends both his and her own agency in the matter. No one is allowed to tell them what to do and Uzi refuses to let anyone try.

When Nori says it, though, she does seem to try and deny it for a moment. "I'm not-" She cuts herself off so we can't say for certain what she was going to say (if anything. it's entirely possible she started that sentence with no plan how to finish it, I do that a lot personally). But that's also because, like, she's Uzi. If this was meant to be a secret relationship, it would probably be her who made that decision. And like with butler N, she has no reason to disclose that kind of information to a stranger. She'd probably try and deny it whether its true or not.

As for when it would've started, after camp is the only big timeskip where we don't have much clue went on during. Cabin Fever is a big episode for them, and the three episodes that come after it are all back-to-back-to-back. The only time it makes sense to have started is sometime between eps 4 and 5.

And guys. Guys.

This, more than anything to me, paired with the idea that they've been dating for a while by the time the most recent couple episodes happen.....doesn't this seem so, so romantic? You could easily call this a love confession! So easily! It sounds like one much more than 'we just kinda are hanging out a lot idk' at least.

Like, rephrase that even a little: "Being with you makes scary things fun. Being with you makes me feel brave. It makes me feel safe. So I want to keep being with you."

And Uzi agrees with that sentiment. He promises to stick with her. And she laughs and smiles with him as he makes the scary thing she's been dealing with into something fun, something they can laugh about. The together line gets repeated in the most recent episode, directly calling back to this scene as well.

Like, just...AGH. In Cabin Fever he says it once as they're falling and a second time once they're grounded. The second time its a question, and one she eagerly answers with physical affection, which is super rare for her. In Mass Destruction its a statement, because he already knows her answer. Its a repeated promise. A vow.

Backing up again. Let's assess some interactions under this context. Assuming they're dating in secret. Because it paints so many things in a different light and basically nothing contradicts it which is fricken wild. This:

Isn't a sheepish Uzi trying to hold her crush's hand in a moment of fear. This is an Uzi who wants to keep their relationship a secret but is so in need of comfort right now she's willing to risk exposing them to get it.

This:

Her being so relieved because she almost watched him die but he's alive he's ok and she doesn't care who sees it because she needs to hug her boyfriend rIGHT NOW GUYS I DON'T CARE I'M HUGGING MY BOYFRIEND-

This whole scene. Uzi interacts with him so gently here. She's not gentle with anybody else at all. She sees him stressed and uses his own "you good?" on him and it's just so dang tender when you think about it. Because no one else can hear them talking to each other. It's just these two sending face texts and everyone else's focus is on the Sentinal so they can afford to be as couple-y in this conversation as they want.

And after:

Blushing because they like each other so so dang much.......sweating bullets because the other two can see them do this. Suddenly without either of them really thinking about it they're being romantic around other people and wow! That's nerve-wracking! Peak young love early-in-the-relationship behavior they ain't slick.

His tone of voice in this scene is gentler I think than we've ever heard from him before (Michael Kovach you are so damn good at your job). His loss-filled fury is cooled in an instant when he realizes how close he came to hurting his girlfriend. It's heartbreakingly gentle before 'Tessa' cuts him off.

And when she cuts Uzi off:

He looks like genuinely pissed at her. "Did you really just interrupt my gf while she was talking?? She's scared and you're disrespecting her tf is wrong with u??"

And like- the fact he was genuinely willing to off Tessa for her. Like he realizes there's a possibility she tried to get his gf killed for no reason and upon her not even trying to deny it he just kills her instantly. Because it's no longer a question of the universe or Uzi. It's a question of Tessa or Uzi, and its a choice his heart has already made before this point.

But here's like. The thing about all this that gets me. This is meant to be a secret relationship, right? Like nobody but them is supposed to know about this. And the fact that we the audience didn't have any reason to assume them to be an established relationship without heavy headcanoning means they did a decent job at that, right?

Guys. Guys.

N is terrible at keeping secrets. Like. Horrendously bad at keeping things on the down-low. Every single time in the series he's supposed to not spill info he like. Fails. It's wild. And because the relationship happens after "Inclusive reflexes!" that means that Uzi damn well knows this and still trusts him to try.

But based on V's reaction to the handholding in Dead End:

I'm honestly willing to bet she knew. She doesn't sound surprised, just annoyed that she has to see it. Which means N probably like, heard her badmouthing Uzi or something and got like way too defensive about it and she clocked him instantly. Because he's bad at keeping secrets. And she doesn't bother mentioning it during any of these episodes out loud because she doesn't care what these idiots do in their free time.

Can you imagine how many hundred close calls they must've had? How many times Uzi must've had to aggressively shush him or cover his mouth because he was going to say something slightly too sappy in public? The only reason we don't get to see the time period between eps 4 and 5 is because it would've been painfully obvious that these two dating is the worst kept secret in the entire bunker. I'm going insane.

Uzi fell in love with a proud himbo and they both know it. It's genuinely a miracle they didn't clue the audience in sooner.

#Murder Drones #Murder Drones Spoilers #md N #md Uzi #Uzi Doorman #Nuzi #Biscuitbites #Listen!! I'm feral and I site my sources!!!#This is a hill I'm willing to die on. And then I will rise to keep talking #I miss doing posts like this. I have so so much to say always #Me when I hyperfixate to the point of essays. Oops. Glad I can read

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akookminsupporter · 6 months

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JIMIN AND JUNGKOOK AND THE HATE THEY DON'T DESERVE.

Being part of this fandom when your biases are Jimin and Jungkook is not easy. Forget about whether you believe there is something more between them; being a fan of them in this fandom is difficult. Every day is a new reason to feel helpless, upset, disappointed, and afraid that they see all the hatred they receive. Hatred they don't deserve, particularly Jimin.

I will never tire of saying how wonderful Jimin is and that, even though I don't know him, I can tell he is a good person, friend, and colleague. A respectful, affectionate, hardworking, dreamy person. One of those people who doesn't seem real, one of those people who are perfectly imperfect. And that's why I'll never understand why he receives so much hatred and why many in this fandom allow it.

Jimin has always been the number one enemy of Taekookers and many Solos, for different reasons but one in common: envy. These groups have always been able to say whatever they want about Jimin, and practically nothing, aside from his fans and Jikookers is said in response. And what's worse, when these fans say something to defend Jimin, they are labelled as Solos or reduced to mere shippers. Jimin cannot be defended, apparently.

The hatred they, particularly Jimin, have been receiving since their trip to Japan with Jungkook was announced is sad. What has happened since before the rumours that Jimin and Jungkook would enlist together in the army came out has crossed all kinds of limits. Jimin has been insulted in the vilest ways I have ever seen in my life, and virtually no one says anything—no one, except the usual ones, of course. When the rumours surfaced in the Korean press, the hatred intensified. Haters once again realized that they could say and do whatever they wanted, and nothing would happen to them because, once again, the fandom, in general, did nothing to defend Jimin, to silence the haters. Funny how that doesn't happen when it comes to another member.

After Big Hit confirmed that not only Jimin and Jungkook would enlist together but also that they would do it under a special program that guaranteed they would be together for the duration of their military service, hell broke loose. Disinformation became an everyday thing, insults, mockery too, and the target remains the same: Jimin.

You are guilty when you do something wrong, but you are also guilty when you do nothing when you see others doing something wrong. I believe even the latter is worse. Jimin and Jungkook decided to apply for a program that guarantees they will be together throughout their military service for reasons they only know and don't have to disclose, nor do they have to give explanations. That decision, which surely was not easy to make, must be respected by everyone, period. Not questioned, not belittled, not explained to fit into absurd narratives.

The way Taekookers always paint Jungkook as this manipulable person, incapable of making his own decisions, who always does what the company, according to them, tells him is deplorable, disrespectful, and further proof that they don't care about Jungkook. The way I've seen many diagnose Jungkook with different things, in treating Jimin as a helpless and weak being who needs a bodyguard with him to say that they applied to the program because they had to and not because they wanted to is insulting. And yet virtually no one says anything.

Jimin and Jungkook will never be the enemies that many want them to be. They will always be the two members who seem to be the closest. They will always be the ones who understand each other with just a look. They will always be the ones with the same sense of humour, who laugh in the same way, and who simply share more things in common. They will always be the ones who promised to go to the moon together and the ones who seem to have no secrets from each other. Those who comfort each other, who are there when one is sick etc.

JIMIN AND JUNGKOOK WILL NEVER BE THE ENEMIES MANY WISH THEM TO BE.

Reducing all the hatred they are receiving right now, and that they have always received, to a shipping issue is insulting, it's cowardly. If your conclusion is to blame Jikookers only, ignoring absolutely everything that Taekookers say daily, what Solos and akgaes say daily, let me tell you that you are a hater too. And you are, in a way, worse. YOU are the problem. If you are unable to stand up for them because you think it will make you a shipper, you are the problem because it goes beyond that. If you are afraid to defend the love, affection and trust that they obviously have for each other, if you are afraid to acknowledge that they are close, that they are great friends, you are the problem too. No one is asking you to accept that Jimin and Jungkook are married or anything like that, what many of us would expect from everyone who claims to be a fan of BTS, is to defend the members of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. If you are incapable of doing that, you are the problem too. You are also a HATER.

I hope the time the boys are in the army serves to clean up this fandom from so much rubbish. I hope they find a fandom that supports all seven of them unconditionally when they return. That respects them and only wants the best for them.

But in this life, nothing is that easy, right? I'm afraid to think about what they will say when the documentary is released and what will happen when whatever Jimin and Jungkook filmed together is released. In a way, I'm glad they won't be here when all that comes out because the chances of them not seeing any of that will be high.

#jimin #jungkook #bts #bts military service #toxic fans #toxic stans #toxic shippers #jikook

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misscammiedawn · 8 months

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Ethical Personality Play

So. I've written about my experiences with Personality Play in the past. A couple times, actually.

The TL;DR is that from early 2000s-2019 this was my signature move that the first three hypnotists I was tied up with utilized on a near daily basis. The damage of this abuse has never been fully tallied, but if you want my "how to alter your personality with hypnosis" guide in a word it is simple:

Don't.

"But what if I want to do hypnotic edgeplay?"

But saving that... let me impart some wisdom in hopes that y'all will play nice and safe with this.

Firstly let me define the terms.

Personality Play is any form of hypnosis scene that alters aspects of the individual's identity whether it be for a scene, as a permanent trigger or as permanent conditioning. The danger amplifies with the more severe and lasting the changes are but there is always danger.

So, let's cover each area of what can be done, how it can be harmful and how to avoid that harm.

General rules

Before even negotiating this kind of play. Disclose.

If you are engaging with intimate hypnosis at this end of the danger spectrum then you need to have a level of intimate trust relative to that risk and this trust needs to go both ways. If I were a hypnotist introducing this kind of play into the mix I would do so only if I could trust in my hypnotee partner's mental state.

I disclose my BPD and DID at the start of any hypnotic relationship and talk about how they impact me. How the depersonalization and derealization symptoms require a level of grounding before and after play and what to do if my emotional state switches during the middle of a scene. This is not an easy thing for me to do, especially if time is a limited factor, but it's a necessary thing to do.

I do not expect every person playing be willing to disclose every mental condition they have or open up about possible abreaction triggers. That's sensitive information and it's natural to not want to be open about that with every partner. I do, however emphasize that it is vital for that information to be known when approaching these topics. It is unfair for the partner in the scenarios to be responsible for managing safety on either side of the watch when they are unaware of the depths of vulnerability.

I have experience with this fallacy myself. In utilizing hypnosis to ignore my triggers I did severe damage to myself and I am now plagued with intrusive memories and nightmares of events that happened during scenes that I was able to effortlessly indulge in during the scene but as they say "The body keeps the score" and I was in fact doing further damage to myself. Something which my partner at the time was not equipped to deal with because I'd failed to disclose or even treat the situation as worth being safe about.

Now I am just burdened with further damage by ignoring my brain's defenses on my existing pain.

Once again, I refer to my first bit of advice on how to ethically perform Personality Play: DON'T.

Once you have a trusting understanding of both sides of the watch's limits and comforts the next step is grounding.

Grounding is mandatory.

I wrote about my feelings on this before in more depth. The short version, though:

Before and after a scene with intense reality distorting you should take an effort to make a person feel aware of their surroundings, to offer them connection "during the scene you will know I am here and you can pause the scene at any time for any reason" and for them to take stock of their mental state and how they are feeling. Just ask them to display curiosity and provide comfort in the connection between hypnotist and hypnotee. You will be returning here and you need to make it an inviting space.

Grounding should also include a reminder that the hypnotee will be aware of what is happening the whole time. I'll cover this more in the more risky portion, but the key to safety is to ensure that the hypnotee is not immersed in any headspaces they may slip into (with the understanding that there is another gradient here of subspace and highs and peaks from scene play which are chemical reactions and those highs are a little more natural than the altered headspaces I am referring to).

For another grain of personal experience and warning here, I just want to talk about the three hypnotists who played with me utilizing personality play. One knew what he was doing, one didn't know what they were doing and one didn't care. I'll refer to them as Noel (knew better), Dinny (didn't know) and Carrie (didn't care).

Dinny expected that if a scene got too much for me that I would drop out of trance or end the scene. To them they assumed that no one will do anything in hypnosis that they didn't want to do and that it was just extreme play-acting. They likely didn't believe in hypnosis all that much and used it as a framework for roleplay, which is their true indulgence.

So if a scene got too intense for them they would safeword. End the scene. They were in control.

As someone who was immersed in the play and had no grounding, there was no escape because within the framework of the scene, there was no "out of character" there was the scene and that was all that was happening.

You cannot assume that a hypnotee will safeword and end a scene unless they receive the proper grounding and instruction to do so. If you're going to be doing edge play, you have to surrender the fantasy and make sure reality is in the scene at all times. Both sides of the watch. If you are entering in a scene where a person is altered throughout then you cannot expect them to act on their agency. It's a CNC scene by default and you need to introduce safety and consent to avoid that.

Likewise I want to note the power imbalance that comes from play like this. A motivated hypnotee can fling themselves into this arena and do harm to the hypnotist. This does fly both ways. A hypnotee not advocating for themselves or exercising their agency will make a hypnotist accessory to the damage.

This is a sin I have committed.

A hypnotist has a responsibility to themselves to not allow a self-neglecting hypnotee use hypnosis as a method of psychological self-harm. This guide is as much to protect a hypnotist from being abused as it is for hypnotees to avoid allowing themselves to be abused.

Every side is vulnerable in these exchanges.

So... now that we understand the basics before we can even start, let's start in the shallow end and work out way up.

Emotion Control/Intelligence Play

Starting soft. This is fairly standard play and so long as you're being mindful I doubt many would have too many problems with these suggestions.

Infatuation potions, ditzy spells... this is fairly standard stuff.

The key thing to do is to ensure that the effects are temporary and impersonal. For instance for an intelligence play scene you may want to picture a dial in the hypnotees head that has a default setting. Take a moment to ground that default setting. What is normal. What it feels like out of hypnosis. Then you can suggest that it will always return to this default setting after a time but for now we intend to dial it back down, as you feel yourself growing sillier and sillier.

This is a safe way to handle a scene like this because even if you do not perform a post-session grounding (which you always should), the default will naturally return.

Likewise infatuation potions you can mention how your body will metabolize and you'll be aware of the artificial nature of the emotions you feel.

Being aware of the artificial nature of the emotions at play will prevent lingering effects. Even after you clean up there will always be a little bit left over and it's a matter of limiting how much sticks around and where the mind will return to.

I safely play with suggestions like this to this day even when Personality Play in the broader sense is Red for me. This is safe. It's manageable. It's temporary and with a partner who is willing to make space for it, you can keep reality in the room. Safe and secure.

But it can still be dangerous.

Let's see the intelligence play scene was handled poorly. Instead of a temporary dial which defaults to normal a hypnotist instead asked "Debra" to imagine herself with platinum blonde hair, a larger chest, all her thoughts evaporating into a pink bubblegum mist as boundless confidence overcomes her until she transforms into her bimbo persona, "Debbie" and Debbie can be summoned at a simple turn of phrase.

That right there? That's DANGEROUS.

We'll cover more as to why when I go over persona/character play, but it's a good example of how a "bimbo trigger" can be performed ethically and how it can be performed dangerously.

*sighs*

So let's move on...

Altered Headspaces

By altered headspaces I mean suggestions and scenes that play on your ability to perceive and process things. This can be the drugged/drunk sequences, hallucinations of any variety. It can be impulsiveness or boosts of confidence or terror.

Y'know. Stage hypnosis stuff. Because as we know, stage hypnosis tricks are a bastion of "ethical" suggestions.

Seriously though. The prevalence of these types of suggestion in the public perception make us as a community look bad and it's why doing them safely is vital, especially if we do get people entering the community with the idea of types of play which are risky at best from the get-go.

For these suggestions you want to provide the above grounding, but the hypnotee also needs to be able to have an objective view to their state so they can advocate for themselves.

Any altered headspace will supplement agency. It's why you cannot negotiate with someone when they are fractionated. Thusly, any interaction you have with someone in an altered headspace is going to be dubious consent by default. What if you made someone slutty for a scene and they escalated the scene to a sexual one without prior negotiation or existing rapport.

The correct thing to do is end the scene there and then. Otherwise the hypnotist is taking advantage of the hypnotee.

That's a fairly plain example, too. Hence why I feel even this level is edge play.

I don't particularly want to share my personal experience in this realm. Suffice to say I've never once in my life had lucid sexual intimacy with a partner. Every single time I was altered. I literally cannot approach the concept/act without being altered first. I invited it.

The body keeps score.

The way to practice this safely is to encourage the hypnotee to maintain an awareness and presence in the scene. There is a risk to this as incentivizing a dissociation between the conscious self and the altered self is the exact thing we are trying to avoid in these scenarios.

I refer again to the shining DON'T at the top of the post.

But with the correct grounding and temporary status of any scene this risk is lower than the risk of allowing a hypnotee to dive into a scene so heavily that they will ignore their personal ethics and safety for the consideration of the scene at play.

It's either allowing them the ability to advocate for themselves while altered, "the hidden observer will always be present during the scene and can stop things for any reason or just to check in" basically it's keeping reality in the room. A hypnotee should be discouraged from throwing themselves headlong into the fantasy and an awareness of waking self and the artificial nature of play is important, particularly the more immersive you go...

So...

Character/Persona Play

Which brings me to the final warning.

Please do not even attempt this. I see kids in tulpa communities and roleplayers who can't see the harm in becoming their characters and I wish I could share a grain of my experiences.

I did this for 18 years. Eighteen years. Daily. The damage it has done to me is never ever going to be fixed.

The thread I made on Twitter received a number of supportive messages from others with dissociative disorders who echoed my sentiments. I'm legitimately at the point where I ask "were we attracted to this type of play because we were predisposed to it" or "do we have serious disorders due to our time playing in the deep end"

Neither one need to be true. Doing so did damage. A lot of damage.

So here's my first question off the bat.

"What if your hypnotist gets hit by a bus?" what if one day you wake up and you no longer have someone to explore this gigantic portion of your soul with. What if access to this kind of play existed only within a relationship. Are you willing to allow that much of your personal experience and agency be left to someone else's hands?

What about trust. Can you trust someone to shape a part of yourself? Dinny, Carrie and Noel each did harm in their own way handling the bits of me I shared with them. Noel warped and twisted and perverted them to the point of which these characters, real and living aspects of me feel violated by his impact upon them. Carrie abandoned them and let them wither and die without even considering attachments I had made to them... attachments they had to the stories and connections they had made... and then Dinny? Dinny never treated them as real. They were fantasy and the situations were fantasy and it was all just a game.

Let me tell you about that last one. If you want to play out a hateship scene and utilize hypnosis to make your partner think that they are in that hateship scene, the emotions exist. They will bleed through and poison you in your waking state. If you are made to perform as a vampire who wants nothing more than to taste flesh then you are going to feel that desperate hunger and be trying with every fiber of your being to overpower the hypnotist who has the ability to end the scene if things get rough but, and this is the important part, unless you set up grounding-- you will not know that in the moment.

I legitimately have nightmares about the things I did while acting in scenes Dinny ran.

And lastly...

Are you willing to accept that there are parts of you that can do things that you in your waking and natural state, simply cannot do?

I do not know if doing these things makes you more vulnerable to the symptoms of a dissociative disorder or not, but I know that a damn lot of people who did this stuff excessively happen to have these symptoms.

Look. I don't hide my DID diagnosis on Tumblr. It hurts that I have a mesmerizing Fae in my heart who is more lovable than I am, more confident, more capable, more experienced and charming. I hate that she can perform feminine voice better than me. I hate that she can push boundaries and harm me without a thought. I hate feeling inferior to me. I hate feeling like I'm just a function of a person that people want around more.

I hate finding evidence that she had a whole online life that we hid so well that even post-diagnosis I am not fully sure what she did. I hate feeling powerless that I'm not in control of my own life and reality.

Dawn scares me. I am afraid of the part of me that most people love.

...and I have no way of communicating that as a warning that doesn't sound exotic and enticing. Because dissociative disorders are not exotic and enticing. They're boring, exhausting and tedious and though I am 50/50 on whether it can be accidentally induced through hypnosis play, I know there is no damned chance in hell any person should willingly gamble with that possibility.

I know so many systems and people who have endured extreme brainwashing who would be behind me when I say this.

DO. NOT. DO. IT.

...and so... assuming you have read all the warnings and you're not actively trying to invoke installed personalities into a person (which I do not condone under any circumstances at all).

How can we do character play and not leave lasting damage?

That's a question I have asked myself so so many times.

Firstly, avoid anything that makes the character headspace an extra layer. Do not use hypnosis to mold them. Do not give them their own triggers. Do not do anything which can be used as a divide between the waking self and the constructed persona.

But that's more "Don't" isn't it. Here's what you can do.

I think the best way is instead of having the hypnotee monitor the scene and step in when they need to, ask them to treat it as a performance. That they are aware of the artificial nature of the scene but at all times they will commit to taking on the role as an actor would on stage.

The key is to associate the role with the hypnotee enough that they are present in the scene while allowing them to commit to the actions without experiencing the thoughts and feelings of their own. Insist that no matter the morality and behavior of the character, the hypnotee as the actor will never cross their personal limits or ethics for the sake of the scene.

Then at the end of the sequence be sure to end the scene and ground the hypnotee, have them remember everything that had happened, remember them performing the act and deciding how to handle every decision. Make sure that the entire time that character and actor are one and the same and all hypnosis is doing is allowing the actor to invest in the bit.

That is legitimately the only safe way I think one can engage in this kind of play and from that angle it seems as harmless a suggestion as any scene.

But no shortcuts. No triggers that induce character headspace. No trying to breathe life into characters and allow them to inhabit. Even channeling them or letting them speak through the hypnotee courts a level of dissonance between states.

It's possible to enjoy the spontaneity of character play without suppressing the ego of the hypnotee. As I mentioned at the start, it may seem like a desirable outcome for some hypnotees to experience a state of ego-death and allow themselves to experience becoming someone else for a little while. It sounds appealing on paper.

A responsible hypnotist should never indulge that kind of desire and a respectable hypnotee should never burden a hypnotist with that level of responsibility. The damage is too risky.

Lastly, and this applies to all.

DEBFRIEF

Every major scene in any kink should involve a debrief segment. This helps with the grounding and it helps establish the in and out of scene dynamic while allowing the hypnotee to associate with their actions. "I did" rather than "they did".

One of my bigger mistakes in character play in my younger days was that I baked amnesia in and allowed my play partner to tell me about the scenes after the fact. This made it seem like the characters in the scene were the ones controlling things and I was a passive and absent spectator. Not good for healthy associations.

During a debrief the hypnotist and hypnotee should discuss their roles in the scene, how they felt during the experience. It gives both parties an opportunity to interrogate how the other is perceiving things, catch any flags (abuse of control over the scene, losing reality to fantasy etc) and give one another ideas for how to improve for future scenes. Debriefs make all kink play better in my opinion. Plus who doesn't like a bit of feedback on how you handled things in scene?

...look... I don't want to be an old lady yelling at the kids for doing things when I did them myself at that age.

I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't pretend I didn't see the allure on both sides of the watch.

I just... there weren't 20+ year experienced hypnosis veterans who had been in my character play abusing position when I was growing up. No one warned me. I learned all this the hard way and I hurt people. People I loved. Moreover I hurt me. In ways that will never heal.

I just want to spare anyone I can the pain of going through this.

So, in quick summary:

Ensure reality is always in the room.

Ensure the hypnotee is always aware of themselves and their action.

Reset after every scene.

Do not allow situational scenes to become direct triggers.

If you insist on reusing altered headspaces and characters then install and deinstal every time to limit any lingering traces out of scene. Do not allow them to have programming/conditioning unique to them.

Avoid allowing the hypnotee to circumvent their own ego and agency in a scene.

Debrief

Play safe... if you must play at all.

#camden posting #community safety #hypnosis #hypnokink #watch me post my trauma in public #personal

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icycoldninja · 4 months

Note

Hey it's me again, how are you?

So ....if you're free a request on how Dante/Vergil will react to their rather reserve and prude s/o saying that they meet a guy who she thinks is Dante/Vergil level attractive, as for s/o they were the epitome of handsomeness. And if even the guy tries to hit the reader under the guise of friendliness

I'm doing great, thanks, what about you? 😄 About your request, I chose to do a separate fic for each boy cause they deserve it. Vergil's will be out later--enjoy! 💜

Hot (Dante x Reader)

Warning: Light Yandere-ish behavior towards the end.

The one thing in the world that Dante aspired to obtain, more than anything else, was your admiration.

Getting it wasn't easy; you were very quiet and preferred not to make remarks on people's physical attributes. You liked to silently judge them from afar, noting everything about them and locking these observations away into the secure safebox that was your mind.

Only on incredibly rare occasions would you voice your opinions on someone's look aloud--and even then, you used your words sparingly.

So when you complimented Dante on his new haircut one day, he was absolutely flabbergasted. Finally, after all this time, he had earned your recognition.

From that point on, you were a little more open with him, and soon, chatting became more relaxed and natural. You began to disclose your true thoughts about him, which soon led to you admitting (though somewhat nervously) that you had a crush on him.

Dante was shocked, not expecting you of all people to be interested in him. He wasn't complaining though--this was great! He'd had hidden feelings for you as well; your reticent behavior was quite attractive to him, as he needed a stoic rock upon which he, the wild card goofball, could lean upon.

With confessions finally out of the way, you found it easier to inform Dante of just how highly you thought of him--something that sent his ego to the moon.

"You're hot, Dante."

"I'm hot?"

"Very hot."

"How hot?"

"The hottest."

"Well I'll be damned, you finally admitted it. I'm just kidding, thank you for your compliments. Love ya."

Though rare, compliments like that from you made Dante's day. There was nothing more meaningful to him than your praise and the knowledge that you considered him the greatest and most attractive person in the world.

Imagine the devil hunter's absolute astonishment when you came home one day and told him about this random guy you met who was supposedly as hot as him. He was unable to believe his ears--you, a normally quiet and reserved person, was now gushing about this man! Gushing! Praises were flowing from your mouth like water from the bathtub faucet, something that was not only rare, but unacceptable!

"He's really good looking," You continued, as you had been for the last hour or so, while toying with the hem of your top. Dante shifted boredom in his seat, resting his chin against his palm. It was obvious he didn't like this conversation, but you were too busy talking to notice. "I don't even have words to describe it...he's hot on your level. Yeah, that's it, he's Dante level hot."

At that moment, something within Dante snapped. It was like a light switch had been flipped on, except instead of turning on a light, it activated a quiet, hidden rage. Thankfully, you didn't notice; you were too busy rambling on about your newest obsession. "Say, babe, what's this dude's name?" Dante asked, careful to keep his tone casual. You replied without a second thought, not bothering to second guess Dante's reasons for wanting to know this.

Satisfied that he'd gotten the information he needed, Dante patiently endured the rest of your overly exuberant conversation, taking comfort in the fact that once you were tired of talking, he could go out, track this guy down, and make sure that he would never steal your attention ever again.

#Dmc #Dmc5 #Dmc dante #Dante #dante sparda #Dante x reader #dante devil may cry #devil may cry 5 #devil may cry #Devil may cry fanfic #Fanfic #Warning: yandere #tw yandere behavior #Light yandere #Dante x reader yandere #requested #thanks for requesting #icycoldninja writes

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levia-chan · 3 months

Text

YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL pt.4

Hello everyone I decided to share with you some headcanons about what kind of guardian angels the Obey Me characters would be for you. So read and enjoy (I hope you enjoy it :3).

Preface: They have been your guardians since you were born.

Warnings: contains spoilers for S4 og.

Others: MASTERLIST

Credits: The banner image in this post belongs to @diodellet

RAPHAEL

He is a very busy angel, so he practically does not take people under his care. Another possible reason for this is social clumsiness.

He couldn't explain it, but for some reason he was attracted to you. You were so tiny and defenseless that his heart felt it necessary to protect you.

So his desire to become a human guardian caused some shock to the other angels. Raphael was hardly interested in people, so it was an understandable reaction.

Even Michael wondered what kind of person they were, since Raphael himself wanted to be their guardian. He came to you and was completely fascinated by you. He would have taken custody of you himself, but in recent days he has too much work, even for himself there is not much free time, so he allowed Raphael to take care of you. On the condition that he tells as much as possible about you.

Raphael agreed, of course, but he will talk about the general aspects of your life without going into details. After all, your personal life is confidential, and he has no right to disclose it.

He used to sing songs and lullabies to you when you were a child. He also sometimes sings when you feel bad to comfort you.

He was as opposed to your participation in the exchange program as possible. He was already angry that you were sent to hell to study against your will, and he was also angry that Michael knew about everything but didn't tell him anything.

Over time, of course, he resigned himself, but it bothered him that you often got into dangerous situations. And when he found out what Belphegor had done, he made a mental note to give him a good punishment.

He has heard a lot about you from other angels, because you have become quite popular in all three worlds.

He was nervous about meeting you when he was sent to the Devildom as an exchange student.

It was difficult for him to open up to you like that, so your relationship took a long time to get better.

In the end, you became pretty good friends.

He loved watching you grow as a human and as a magician.

You are very dear to him and he only wishes you happiness. So he could be a little too much overprotective, don't be angry :<

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #om! shall we date #obey me raphael #obey me angels #obey me headcanons #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me michael

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junicult · 11 months

Note

Speaking of fiances and marriage, can you imagine Harvey's reaction to seeing someone talk to his partner, they're a stranger to him but obviously know Y/N, who looks really annoyed, obviously not wanting to talk to the person

So he steps in, introduces himself and ask "and who might you be?" And the stranger goes "oh I'm Kyle, their fiance" and Y/N just, very, very quickly fixes him and just "ex-fiance"

Apparently Kyle came crawling back but Y/N wants nothing to do with him, obviously, they've got a cute man now! Also Kyle is cringe

Kyle: I'm Kyle, the fiance

Harvey, ABSOLUTELY heartbroken: What?

Y/N: Ex-fiance, ex. It's there for a reason don't forget that, Kyle

🦂

contains ; entirely sfw. (nameless) male ex bf. fem!farmer. new bf!harvey. harvey being the sweetest (as usual.) short drabble.

note ; ok i’m going to bed. i’ll proofread this in the morning (no i won’t)

aw i love the idea of harvey being protective over u.

he’s still pretty reserved, he’s not going to start problems unless he absolutely has to. & he definitely can’t handle confrontation, that’s for sure. obviously, if you’re upset he’s trained and prepared to help you feel better. he’s not a therapist by any sense, but if you just need comforting, he’d be one of the best to go to.

let’s say it’s the very beginning of your relationship. i’m talking you’ve only made it official a couple weeks ago, still in the earlier stages where you get butterflies whenever you see him, and you get all nervous and stuff like that.

you haven’t had the time (or energy) to disclose your last relationship with him just yet. you know he wouldn’t be upset or anything, you just haven’t talked about it.

which is why your ex coming to see you at the farm—WHILE YOUR WORKING—became a huge shock.

you’re easily frustrated. i mean, he’s getting in your way while you’re trying to work so, maybe the easiest option would be to just give him what he wanted—a chance to talk.

he’s talking, in fact he probably won’t even shut up, while you’re watering your plants and listening all annoyed.

“my mom’s still super pissed, she wants to talk to you,” he complains.

“i’ve been pretty busy lately. i already gave you the ring back, what else do you want?” you counter, clearly exhausted.

“i love you, you know that. i think we can work this out, you just need to talk to me!”

his delusions make you even more frustrated, pausing mid pout to take a deep breath—but before you even have the time to yell, you’re startled by the only man you’d actually wanna see at the moment.

“hello…am i intruding something?” harvey asks, standing only a couple feet away. you were too distracted to even see him approaching.

your ex just stays silent, looking him up and down while you blink in surprise.

“no, actually. he was just getting ready to leave.” you sigh, shooting him a pleading look that he doesn’t miss.

“oh, ok! i’m harvey, it’s nice to meet you. she’s a little busy, so maybe you can give her a call later?” harvey smiles, and it almost eases you entirely. his approachable demeanor is making it easier for him to walk closer to him—more importantly you in case he needed to reach for you. but that was just in the back of his mind.

“then why’re you here?” your ex spits, taking him by surprise but certainly not you.

harvey’s the kind of guy that means no trouble. if anything, he just wants the best for everyone.

which is why it’s your turn to blink in surprise when your sweet, peaceful boyfriend’s smile falls just a little, and his eyes squint with a certain sass, saying, “who are you, again?”

it’s pathetic seeing your ex laugh like he has any right, taking a step closer as if to challenge someone who doesn’t even want one.

“her fiancé. who the hell are you?”

“ex,” you waste no time, rolling your eyes. “he’s my ex-fiancé. we lived in the city together months ago.”

whether or not harvey is shocked to learn that, he doesn’t show it. maybe it’s because of your clear distaste to even hear the nickname, but either way, he knows better then to ask any questions right now.

“well, it was a pleasure to meet you. i think maybe we both should probably leave her to finish work. she’s got a busy schedule, anyways.”

you’ve never seen harvey so authoritative, subtle with the intent to get this man who is clearly stressing you out, away from you. his smile still seems so kind, and he’s clearly prepared to step in the way in case your ex counters with some excuse to stay.

“yeah, it’s a bummer you didn’t check to see if she was free today before you came all the way down here.”

“well i tried, but she won’t answer my calls.”

“hm. weird. anyway—!”

you almost feel sick with how much your stomach swells seeing the most amazing boyfriend handle a stressful situation as such so easily for you. he doesn’t even as so crack his exterior while he guides him away, still showing decency just to avoid a scene, which you couldn’t be more grateful for.

it was almost so baffling how easily he handled it. and attractive (needless to say.)

but you still felt so guilty, seeing him after the crisis was averted.

“i’m so sorry, i was going to let you know. i promise i wasn’t trying to keep a secret from you,”

and because of how understanding, and kindhearted he is, it’s easy to melt into his touch when he pulls you in and presses a soft kiss to your forehead.

“oh, i’m not mad at you! i’m just glad you’re okay. he seems like a real jerk.”

knowing him, his main priority will always be the most important task at hand. but of course, you know him well enough that he can’t help but have questions.

so when you get your chance to explain, you know to reassure him with your soft touch, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles and kissing his cheek to show how much he means to you. especially after that.

“i’m sorry you had to go through that,” he frowns, sympathizingly.

“no, it’s okay. the ring didn’t even fit me anyways. and besides, i’m with someone much better now.”

he smiles at your reassurance, not that he really needed it because—well, he knows already.

“me too,” he kisses your cheek. “and don’t worry, i won’t make that mistake.”

#˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ mail 💌#i love a man that can handle a situation with grace #sdv bachelors #sdv bachelor hcs #stardew valley #sdv harvey #harvey stardew valley #sdv harvey x farmer #sdv harvey x reader #harvey x farmer

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dr-spencer-reids-queen · 25 days

Text

Nameless, Faceless: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.4k

Summary: Not even four hours after the case in Canada, you're thrown into another one. This time, without Hotch. You have a sinking feeling he's not just blowing you off to get some sleep. There's something wrong.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: welcome to the first episode of season 5! i hope you enjoy this series just as much as i loved writing it! <3

I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated.

"A weak man has doubts before a decision. A strong man has them afterwards." - Carl Kraus

Four hours. Four hours of sleep you got after ending that grueling case in Canada. Four hours later, you are called into another case. JJ didn't disclose the details of the case since you'd get them as soon as you arrive. You and Spencer meet up with Derek at the same time, and Rossi and Emily greet you who are already outside of the newest victim's house.

You freeze in your tracks and put a hand to your stomach that grinds and churns painfully. You gasp and look at Spencer who puts a hand to your back in comfort.

"What's wrong?"

"Where's Hotch?" you ask.

"I don't know. He hasn't arrived yet."

"Are you okay?" Rossi asks.

"Yeah, my stomach hurts. It's probably from the lack of sleep. I'm gonna call Hotch." You take your phone out and call your boss but he doesn't answer. "He's not answering."

"He probably has it on vibrate. He'll show up eventually."

You don't tell them that you think something is seriously wrong with Hotch. If there isn't anything wrong, then you're going to worry everyone for no reason. You push down the feeling of uncertainty and focus on the case at hand.

"We're not working a case. Why call us to a crime scene?" Derek asks.

"I was hoping you knew."

"JJ said the police told her it was urgent."

"With four hours of sleep after what we went through in Canada, it better be," Derek sighs.

You five walk inside the victim's house where JJ, the detective, and the CSI agents are. Your stomach churns again and Derek notices the way you wince in pain.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

Something is wrong with Hotch, you can feel it. You don't want to worry anyone without knowing more details.

"Oh, you guys are already here. Do you guys remember Detective Walker?" JJ asks.

"Thanks for being here. I understand none of you are working on much rest."

"Who's the victim?" you clear your throat.

"His name is Nelson Martinez. From what we can figure, he answered his door, was forced into the apartment at gunpoint, and then shot in the chest. It was all pretty sloppy."

"No disrespect, but I don't understand why you need us here," Derek says.

"Two days ago, a local doctor named Tom Barton found a note addressed to him at the hospital. It said the person was planning to kill his son. If Dr. Barton tried to keep his son hidden, one person would die every day in his place."

"You think this is connected?"

"There was a note on the body. It's signed L.C. Yesterday, we had another victim with multiple gunshots outside the apartment. The shooter wrote L.C. in white chalk next to the body."

"Unless Dr. Barton puts his son in harm's way, we're gonna keep having a victim a day," Spencer says.

"We're Barton now?"

"He's at home," JJ answers. "He doesn't know about this victim yet."

"Where's Hotch?" you ask again.

"He's not answering his cell. I assume it's on vibrate. He'll get the message when he wakes up."

You hope all he's doing is sleeping.

"Try him again. He can meet us at Barton's house."

You leave the house first and grab your phone to call him again. Like the half dozen times before, it goes to voicemail.

You've reached Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner. Please leave a detailed message. Thank you.

"Hotch, it's Y/N again. Listen, we're gonna need you to meet us at a house in Mclean, Virginia. 120 Kensington Road. Call me when you get this."

The sick feeling in your stomach only gets worse by the time you reach Dr. Barton's house. He is eager to let you into his house because this whole thing has him freaked about protecting his own life as well as his son's.

"Barton, where is your son right now?" Emily wonders.

"I asked him to stay up in his room."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him that there was a threat against me at the hospital. I told him the police didn't take it seriously, that they wanted me to stay here for a few days, and that I wanted to have him with me."

"What about Jeffrey's mother?"

"She died when he was ten from breast cancer. Would someone really hurt Jeffrey?"

"Two people are dead already. Whoever sent that note is obviously serious."

"If I don't let Jeffrey out of the house, then another person's gonna die? He's only fifteen. I cannot put him in danger."

"We're not asking you to. Even if you were willing, we can't send him to school knowing he would endanger every student in the building. What we need to do now is go over everything we know and piece together how this person fits into your life," Rossi says.

"I can't think of anyone who would want to hurt Jeffrey," Dr. Barton stutters.

"Whoever wrote that note was putting you on notice. This is personal. He wants you to remember who he is, and until that happens, he hasn't accomplished what he set out to do."

"I know you've been asked this before, but please think again. Do you know anyone with the initials L.C.?" you wince in pain.

"I've looked everywhere," he sighs. "In my day planner, emails, and patient lists. There's no one."

"Have you noticed anyone who might have been watching you either at the hospital or here in the neighborhood?"

"No. I'm sorry."

"Both the victims he's killed have been Hispanic men in their forties. Have you had a patient recently that fits the description?" Detective Walker asks.

"I'm a trauma surgeon in D.C. I have endless patients of all demographics."

"We're gonna need records of all your recent surgeries."

"Of course."

"I'll call Garcia," JJ announces and steps off to the side.

"I don't understand. If he's mad at me, why not just kill me?"

You leave the group and walk over to JJ who is texting Penelope.

"Hey, is there any word from Hotch?"

"No, nothing."

"That's not like him," you sigh and touch your stomach.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I think it's from the lack of sleep," you lie.

Dr. Barton's phone rings and he eagerly picks it up thinking it's good news.

"Hello? ... Jeffrey? ... What's happening? Are you okay?" Derek immediately runs upstairs to check if Jeffrey is in his room only to discover that his window is wide open. "Jeffrey, what's going on? Talk to me."

"He's not up here."

"Jeffrey, where are you?" He hangs up regretfully and looks at everyone in the room. "He's at school. He says he's fine but for how long?"

"Let's go. JJ, you're with us. Prentiss, Y/N, and Reid stay with Dr. Barton and go through all of his case files. The unsub is in there," Rossis takes charge.

Dr. Barton doesn't give this two thoughts because as soon as half the group is out of the house, he goes running after them.

"Dr. Barton, please!"

"You need to go back inside," Rossi says.

"I'm coming with you. I'm gonna get my son."

"Sir, right now nobody is getting your son. Agent Prentiss or Y/N will explain it."

"I don't need an explanation. I'm getting Jeffrey."

"You need to listen right now. Once your son left this house, the safest place for him to be is at that school. We can control access in and out. Detective Walker will organize an evacuation as soon as the school day is done. If we incite a panic now and the unsub is outside, a lot of kids are gonna die," Derek explains.

"What if the killer is already at the school?"

"Then we'll be there, too. Let us do our job."

"Jeffrey knows better than this. He doesn't put himself in danger."

"I think he's just trying to do the right thing. He sees what his father does for a living. This is his way of trying to save lives, too."

"You'll be there?" Dr. Barton asks after a moment.

"Yes."

"Tell him I'm not mad at him. Tell him I love him, and I'm proud of him."

"We will."

Rossi's team leaves for the school while you, Emily, and Dr. Barton head back inside to where Spencer is. He's on the phone with Penelope going over the case files over a certain time period. This unsub started killing recently, so his case might not have been that long ago. The feeling in your stomach gets worse just as a new pain erupts in your side.

Something is seriously wrong with Hotch.

"This guy is a trauma surgeon working in a major metropolitan area. We are talking thousands of surgeries."

"Confine it to the last six months."

"That's still hundreds. Do you want biological information or full medical charts?"

"Can you get the full medical charts?"

"You know, for a smart boy, you still ask a lot of dumb questions. You'll have them in seconds."

"Ask her if Hotch checked in with her," you say.

"Did Hotch check in with you?"

"He's not with you?"

"He's probably on his way. Uh, thanks for everything. Bye." He hangs up on her. "She's going to email the files. We'll print them out from here."

"I could have my office send over the files."

"Trust us, this is faster. We need to dig through your life and try to figure out why this is happening. Let's start with the most recent cases first. Something set this guy off and odds are it's in your files. Let's concentrate on the note. For starters, we know that he's male."

"How do you know?" Dr. Barton asks.

"Women tend to add adjectives and very specific details to their notes. This has none of those," Emily explains. "Males are also more direct. The first sentence is 'I plan to kill your son'. Their notes tend to be more about themselves than the person they're writing to. For example, 'I watched you every day' and 'I will watch you lose everything'."

"We know he surveilled you and your son which means he either has enough money to be away from a regular job or he's currently unemployed. He's most likely a father because he's clearly grieving. He's taken great measures to make sure you feel his pain."

"Let's start with cases involving teenagers that were killed, but also anyone with a strong family presence. Just because your son is fifteen doesn't necessarily mean that his child is the same age."

"Have you had a lot of cases like this where someone taunts you with what they're gonna do?" Dr. Barton asks.

"A few."

"How did they end?" No one answers his question because it's not something he should hear. "Please."

"Suicide by cop seems to be an effective way for them to make their point while ending their suffering all at once," you answer.

"Jeffrey is leaving school in five hours. There's no way we can get through all these patients at this time."

"We already narrowed the list."

"We still have a hundred left." Dr. Barton is clearly upset with the way things are and he realizes he's lashing out. He takes a few deep breaths before continuing. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be callous but when you work in the ER, you don't remember names. You operate and you move on."

This is your opportunity to check in on Hotch. Please let him be sleeping.

"He's right. There are too many files here for us to profile in such a short time. I'm gonna go get Hotch. You two stay here and start filtering through the list. I should be back in half an hour."

"Who's that?"

"He's our supervisor. We weren't supposed to work today. We're having trouble getting ahold of him."

"We need more eyes. I'll be right back."

You kiss Spencer's head when you pass by him.

"The note doesn't say that he'll kill Jeffrey today. It says, 'If not today, tomorrow, or the next day'. Let's say he gets home safe. How long will you all be around to make sure he's okay?" Dr. Barton asks worriedly.

"Let's just get through today."

The principal of the school is more than happy to help the FBI once she hears exactly what is going on in her school. She wants to take action immediately but the team isn't so keen on the idea.

"I need to notify all the parents," the principal panics.

"We think that's a mistake."

"I'm in charge of keeping these kids safe, agent."

"Exactly, and there's a natural end to this day when buses and parents come to pick these kids up. Whoever's doing this is not an effective shooter. His killings are sloppy. So, if there's a panic, a lot of people could be caught in the crossfire," Derek explains.

"Can't you just take Jeffrey home?"

"If we do that and the unsub is watching, someone else is gonna be killed."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"We'll lock up every filter point except the front door. Nobody comes in. We say it's school policy so there will be no questions, and if someone needs to see a student, we bring the kids to them."

"I'll need a complete list and employment records of everyone already inside the building," JJ says.

"I'll brief your security guards and take care of all of the exits. After that, I need you to gather the faculty into small groups and bring them to me. We'll treat it as routine, and in the meantime I need you to get Jeffrey out of class as casually as possible. Can you do that?"

"Sure."

Derek, Rossi, and JJ follow the principal to the classroom Jeffrey is in and she steps inside alone.

"Jeffrey Barton. Could I see you for a moment?"

The other students mutter in curiosity as Jeffrey meets the principal in the empty hallway. He sees the three FBI agents and becomes worried.

"Hey, Jeffrey. My name's Derek Morgan. I'm with the FBI."

"I saw you in my living room."

"Listen, the first thing I need to know is if you've told anyone about what's happening?"

"No."

"Are you sure? Because even just one text message could set this place off."

"I'm sure."

"Alright. We're gonna keep you safe, kid. In order to do that, you're gonna have to stay calm and trust me. Do you understand? Every time you step out of class, I will be right here. Now, it's gonna look like I'm just another adult in the hallway with Principal Findlay, but I got your back."

"Is my dad okay?"

"He knows you were just trying to do the right thing. He just wants to get you home safe."

"Do you think somebody's trying to kill me to get back at him?"

"It's possible."

"Do you know why?"

"That's what we need to figure out."

Jeffrey goes back to class knowing he is going to be safe from whoever is targeting him. Even as he goes from class to class, he sees JJ and Derek right there watching him. He has no doubt that he is going to be safe, but the same thing can't be said for Hotch.

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds angst #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds series rewrite #criminal minds season 5

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seruadoric · 22 days

Text

unmasked .

incl . xie bi'an and fan wujiu ( wu chang ) , luchino diruse ( evil reptillian )

request . “ with a s/o who often wears a mask to cover their whole face, but when their in private and feel comfortable they take it off ”

content . requested work , possibly ooc , implied poly relationship w/ wu chang , headcanons , gn!reader

XIE doesn't immediately express any curiosity towards it, unlike fan and luchino.

. fan shows more interest in the mask than xie. he understands if it's for your own comfort, and won't force you to take it off for him whether or not you're in a relationship.

. both xie and fan don't pressure you about it and let you take your time with them. the two of them are very loyal and patient, so it's not a worry with them.

. xie is always very gentle and soft with you, he would be happy to see your face. just knowing that you're comfortable enough with him to reveal yourself just like that - it must not be a very easy thing to do.

. but then again, unmasked or not, it will not affect your relationship in any way. he's very loving towards you, and it remains like so.

FAN is more straightforward and outwardly expressive than xie - if he takes interest in your mask, expect a few questions about it.

. though that does not mean that fan would continuously prod about the topic; if he sees that you're uncomfortable with it he would stop immediately. though the reason as to why you wear it remains unknown, he keeps his mouth shut if you express any discomfort about the topic.

. you can't have a good relationship without trust and patience; fan knows that. he tries his best to be patient with you, and doesn't pressure you into anything. he understands your boundaries and doesn't cross them, he just learns how to shut up about it.

. fan understands the gravity of this gesture; he would be grateful that you trust him enough to show your face - something that you wouldn't do for just anyone. maybe after some time of being with him, you finally take it off. fan is proud about that gesture, and you know that he is.

LUCHINO's manic curiosity brings him success in the academic field, yet it also leads him into territories of taboo.

. luchino doesn't strike a conversation with someone first unless he finds them especially interesting. if something about you provoked the curiosity and interest in him, he'd approach you and start a conversation.

. similarly to fan, he may as well ask a few questions out of curiosity - though he understands if you don't want to disclose any of them. he might be a bit persistent on it, but ultimately doesn't mention it again.

. i believe he would be more casual than xie and fan once he sees you bare-faced. he doesn't find it that big of a deal; it's irrelevant to your relationship.

. though he knows and takes that as a sign of trust from you. he trusts you as well - you'd know from how he lets you in on his research and things he usually keeps private from others.

. he's glad you trust him enough, but something so small would never change your relationship. whatever you look like beneath that mask, he'd love you irregardless.

this was just my personal perception of wu chang and luchino, it might be a bit ooc ໒ っ˕ - ১ i've reread their lore multiple times to get a decent grip on their personalities, though i'm not sure if i did a very good job on it ! still, this was very fun to write ໒ ◜ ﻌ ◝ ১

#𖹭 ࣪ requested works #𖹭 ࣪ zaira's works #wu chang x reader #xie bi'an x reader #fan wujiu x reader #evil reptilian idv x reader #professor idv x reader #luchino diruse x reader #idv x reader #identity v x reader

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sahonithereadwolf · 9 months

Text

As I get older I think one of the more exhausting types of furry discourse is assigning moral value to someone's fursona choices. Like obviously the guy with the racial caricature sucks ass (you won't hear my native ass say different), and one with hitler mustache and red armband is a fucking nazi and we should kick them out, but I mean like. "Wolves are boring starter fursonas for uncreative people." or "they're slutty because they're *insert animal here*" or like... aesthetic choices. It's a self portrait. it's a realization of self. That changes with people as their perceptions of self, something furry is really good about letting you do, in fact, do. People chose dogs and cats because it's familiar and comfortable and so assign them human traits more easily than something they have no experiences with. People sometimes move away from that as they allow themselves to feel other things or give themselves more permissions. There is no hidden agenda here outside the need to be. There is something to be said about the politics of those things and cultural perceptions of animals, sure. Or the default whiteness of furry as a subculture defined by the internet. But rarely something I would assign a moral value to. At least not any more than other spaces where these matter. A fursona can be personal and they don't need to performative justify who or what it is to you. Sure, let the lynx have a long tail (as much as I personally find that a cowards choice). Let the German Shepard be neon. Let that that bull have giant udders, a dick with a gauge in the foreskin, six arms, and a dad that's a demon. They made these choices because it mattered to them that it was so. They don't need your approval. Let people be wolves. Some people are going to be finding themselves, some folks will have a deep personal cultural connections they can not be moved from, some just think they're cool or tough in a way they want to be or see themselves as. And in the end it's the fact that they made it for themselves and for their own reasons, that matter. And they don't need to disclose them. Roughly, but sincerely

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obeiii-mee · 1 year

Note

Can I please request the demon brothers' and undateables' reactions when they find out MC has a tattoo?

The Brothers and Nowdateables reacting to an MC with a tattoo

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I have a few angsty/comfort requests that are gonna take a while to finish so now I'm taking a break by writing slightly shorter HCs of the brothers and nowdateables, I've had these asks sitting in my inbox for so long-I am genuinely sorry ;-;

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Levi, Satan, Asmo, Beel, Belphie, Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, Solomon, Luke

Warnings: Just mild cursing

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Lucifer:

-Lucifer feels pretty neutral about tattoos in general

-Since they have been popular for a long time now, it wouldn’t be his first time seeing a human with a tattoo and honestly has no impact on him at the beginning of the programme because it’s just a quirky human thing y’know

-Demons can technically get tattoos but there is no point since many of them can shapeshift anyway and their human forms can have any number of oddities such as piercings or tattoos

-It's mostly a human thing, turns out we started the whole 'injecting ourselves with ink to see how it goes' trend and kinda ran for the fields with it-demons and angels don't really see the appeal

-Once he warms up to you, if you explain the reasoning or meaning behind it (whether you had it in memory of someone or just because you liked the design) he might actually appreciate it a bit more

-At the end of the day, he thinks it adds to your character and it also indirectly tells him something about you in general, which is a subject he is more than just a little interested in

-He doesn't understand it but he thinks it looks good on you and if you like it then who is he to judge?

Mammon:

-Honestly, he thinks it's one of the coolest things about you, even though he'd drop dead before admitting this to your face

-Even if it's a really simple, small tattoo he's going to internally fawn over it because, in his eyes, it makes you look badass af

-Lowkey offended you've been hiding this from him for so long

-Actually, you might just persuade him to get one himself and knowing him, he would totally go over the top with it

-I mean, think about it, if he hasn't already Mammon is definitely the type of person to get sleeves of tattoos and look hot whilst doing it

-100% would get matching tattoos with you, would not even hesitate and it seems like a good idea except you'd inflate his head bigger than it already is so-

-Is a dumbass and would probably try to colour in the tattoos if they are accessible to him at any given moment and he happens to have sharpies on him

Levi:

-You know, funnily enough, I think Levi would look really good with tattoos, especially if he got some that were related to either his sin or water

-But an MC with a tattoo would absolutely amaze him since it definitely gives off protagonist vibes and he will probably find a way to relate you back to almost every anime he's ever watched that happened to have a character with a tattoo in it

-Honestly, he'd be more than willing to listen to you about the meaning or origin behind your tattoo/s if you feel like disclosing it to him (or if there is a meaning) since you often listen to his rants without a second thought and he wants to return the favour

-Actually, you might encourage him enough to get his own

-But I wouldn't count on it for the foreseeable future, he was kind of put off by what sounds like a painful procedure and thought of his brothers never letting him hear the end of it

-Also, he is part of the military and I like to think that, for disciplinary reasons, members might have a strict dress code (then again they are demons so probably not)

-Either way, he likes tattoos and even though he gets a tad too excited when you start telling him about your own and might ask some personal questions, he has good intentions

Satan:

-Kinda in the same boat as Lucifer though don’t tell him I said that

-He has many human acquaintances and seems to be on good terms with many of them so it’s more than likely he has met several people with tattoos in the past

-He didn’t expect you to have any, naturally but when he finds out about it, he’s pretty chill though he might try to make small talk and ask what it symbolises, etc.

-Sometimes, if you’re sitting close to him whilst reading or something, and your tattoo is accessible (like on your forearm) then he might trace it with his own hand absentmindedly

-Weirdly enough, I also think he’d like seeing his pact mark somewhere near your tattoo-there’s no real reason for this I just thought he’d be into that

-I think maybe sometimes he uses the physical appearance of someone to judge and analyse them as if he was Sherlock Holmes so that might happen during your first couple of days in Devildom 😭😭

-Other than that, he doesn’t think about it or bring it up all that much. He’s usually too distracted by your annoyingly attractive face y’know

Asmo:

-You already know where I’m going with this one

-There’s no way in Hell that Asmo is not the type to flirt and use your tattoos as a reason for that

-This might not sound right but, like Mammon, I also think he’d have a tattoo if possible though definitely not whole sleeves. More like small tattoos on his ankles or wrists

-He would definitely get tattoos for the aesthetic rather than the actual meaning behind it because he wants to look good for his Devilgram story and the tattoo needs to fit whatever theme he’s obsessed with

-But when it comes to you, no matter what tattoo or how big or small it is, he immediately finds it endearing

-Whilst his brothers are mostly in the neutral zone about this kinda thing I feel like Asmo would 100% encourage and support you getting one even if you don’t have one already

-And then obviously, all further shopping trips and the type of clothes he’s gonna get you will be altered with the tattoos in mind in order to show them off as often as possible

Beel:

-I just hope you don’t have a tattoo of a certain type of food anywhere on your body because that might trigger him

-Especially at the beginning, he’s already watering at the thought of eating you so a tattoo of a burger or something would not help

-Otherwise, he also sort of falls in the neutral category when it comes to tattoos

-After all, he didn’t start hanging out with you because of your accessories, regardless of how cool they are

-Then again, he is interested in you and therefore, once you’re more comfortable with each other, I see him as the type to ask quiet but sweet questions about any tattoos you might have

-Like he might talk about his past and then conversation may lead to you getting that tattoo in the past for whatever reason

-Just really little things that he’ll remember and then surprise you with next time you talk

-Also, he’d be hesitant to get one himself but he’d look good with it. Like really good. Just wanted to point that out

Belphie:

-He sort of hated it at the beginning but that’s only because he hated you 💀

-Once he stops acting like a little bitch he becomes a lot more neutral about it

-Or at least he says he’s indifferent towards it but you’re starting to think he’s lying because every time he falls asleep now, his head happens to lean against your tattoo

-He still likes his pact mark better

-I like to think that Belphie would also look good with tattoos but I really don’t think he’d get any just because he couldn’t be bothered

-If you like talking about yours though, he encourages it because your voice whilst you speak about anything but especially if it’s about you puts him to sleep like nothing else (in a good way, he loves it)

-Might also have tried to colour your tattoo in but not because he’s an idiot. He’s just a mischievous little shit

Diavolo:

-Naturally, he assumes it’s part of human culture and will be as interested in it as every other aspect regarding you

-In fact, you could probably feel him marvel at your tattoo from miles away and he always compliments it if he happens to pass you by in the corridors

-Though he was definitely confused about it when he first learned tattoos were a thing, he didn’t really get it but it doesn’t matter!

-He would sympathise if he learned that getting one hurts quite a bit but eventually he’d convince himself he’d want to get one himself

-And he’s dead serious about it too but thankfully Barbatos puts a stop to it by reminding him that maybe the future ruler of Devildom shouldn’t go too crazy with tattoos

-He might get small ones to match with yours but either way he will be fascinated by the meaning behind yours (if there is one)

-I’d see him as the type to also trace it with his hands but out of curiosity on how it feels more than anything and he always asks first cuz polite prince things yk

Barbatos:

-He gives off this air of aloofness which you interpret as disinterest when in reality it’s politeness that is holding him back from asking you about it

-Of course, unless you bring the conversation to focusing on your tattoo, he feels he has no right to comment (this tbh would include stuff like dyed hair, piercings, etc.)

-And obviously, being the mysterious butler he is, he’d much rather hear you talk about yourself so the meaning behind your tattoo is a perfect example of leading the spotlight away from him

-Still, he can’t say he doesn’t find your tattoo/s endearing but I believe that is simply because he finds all of you endearing so eh

-Though you noticed that whenever your tattoo is on display in public he does tend to stare at it sometimes when he is not need by Lord Diavolo

-He’d also be the type to trace it, I think. It feels like it would relax him or something idk, maybe I’m pulling at straws here

-He’s probably not overly fond of tattoos in general but honestly you rock everything you wear and that includes tattoos so he’s not complaining

Solomon:

-He’s just annoying bruh

-Like, he does not understand personal space (something that even Mammon has understood to an extent) and will ask as many personal questions as possible within a 60 second interval

-Obviously he backs off and apologises if he makes you uncomfortable but he does the thing where he clearly stares at something without saying anything

-And you have to ask if he wants something and then he goes “How long have you had this tattoo for?” Or something similar to that

-And that’s another thing-the questions he asks about it are so bloody random. Like “What nationality was your tattooist?” And “What was the weather like when you got it” which is just weird

-I think he’d have a couple of tattoos of his own but I don’t think you’d be able to tell them apart from the dozens of pact marks he has with other demons

-He won’t talk about his but if you’re willing to talk about yours without shutting him down then he’s all ears

Simeon:

-See I’m conflicted about this

-Because as an angel, I don’t think he’d be particularly supportive of tattoos mostly because he would maybe think that they are staining your beautiful skin or something

-But on the other hand, he’s down bad for you and for some reason, tattoos look a lot better on you than they do on others he’s seen

-Of course, he’s very complimentary when he first met you about it and asked small, polite questions but never intruded unlike a certain someone *coUGH COuGH-solomon-COUgh*

-Once the two of you grow closer, his curiosity might might get the better of him and he would feel more comfortable talking about stuff like that in general

-It was kind of a big thing about you at first but the more time he spends in your presence, the more accustomed he gets to it-meaning it no longer stands out to him all that much

-Will probably stare as well but unlike that embarrassing sorcerer, he actually would get pretty flustered about it

Luke:

-He’s never seen a tattoo in his life

-He’s quite young and hasn’t had many interactions with humans before ok, give him a break

-You were the first person with a tattoo he’s ever met and he is confused beyond measurement

-“Simeon why does the human exchange student have drawings on their skin?”

-He doesn’t want to be rude obviously but he questions it the same way most children would 😭😭😭

-He doesn’t think it’s bad or anything but it’s kinda like tasting a new type of food and trying to decide whether it’s good or not

-He’s very curious about it but Simeon told him not to ask anything personal unless you gave the green light for that to happen

-Obviously his whole reaction would be what you would expect a child’s to be, a lot of staring but it’s not malicious and he’s definitely all about finding out more about it if you’re willing to tell him. He does think they look good on you

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