#personally i think they fucked up until india

[itsjaywalkers]

hi my sweet lil buttercup laurie 💕 i have an odd question for you and i need to dig into ur brain and it is a lil nsfw but when it comes to jegulus, how would you see them if one of them worked as a phone sex operator? like who would be the person to make the call and who would be on the other end? like what are your headcanons on this and do you think they'd meet each other irl etc?

hi india my darling angel <333 sorry i didn't reply yesterday, i spent the morning getting tattooed with my sister AND THEN the afternoon and the evening at work.. but i'm finally here and ready to give u anything u want <3

i could see them both being the phone sex operator and viceversa, it all depends on the situation and how u decide to write/portray them!! however, i have a harder time picturing reg calling a sex line, unless it's like . for a bet . and i don't see him agreeing easily to a bet like that yk??

so to me, it'd be reg being a phone sex operator!! probably doing it either to earn some extra cash after he's been disinherited and doing odd jobs OR desperate for money and not wanting to rely on his brother/friends!! i think he was . very awkward at first and had no idea of how to do it, so he had to research/practise a lot and regrettably . ask barty for help, which would result on barty making fun of him until the end of times while also using it as an excuse for them to start hooking up again. but it's okay bc barty does give him really good advice in between it all

after he becomes more comfortable and gets the hang of it, i feel like reg would reply to calls while he's doing other shit around his flat or in his room yk?? he's sporting the most deadpan expression known to mankind while he fake moans in some stranger's ear and reorganises his books. he's unaffected and doesn't really care, this is just his job and he's only focused on doing it well enough to earn money

james would call at some point!! it can be either as a joke, bc of a bet, or even bc he's been broken up with recently and in a bit of a dry spell and just . trying something new bc he saw a leaflet for it or bc someone recommended it. i think he'd be nervous and be awkward during the first call but in a very charming way, and reg would find it endearing + he'd be quite into james' voice (which is the thing that would call his attention in the first place)

i doubt anything would actually happen during the first call!! they'd just talk and tease and banter, until reg realises their time's up and he hasn't given james the services he advertises for. he apologises profusely, offers another try, but james assures him it's completely fine and pays him anyway

next time james calls, it's with the attention to just . speak to reg again . bc he had a lot of fun and he's already a bit obsessed with his accent and how witty he turned out to be, but when reg realises who it is, he's on a Mission to do his fucking job and keep this man from getting him sidetracked

james is little confused about why reg's attitude changed all of a sudden, but after pushing slightly and getting no results, he supposes that he might as well get off to this yk?? it's the reason why he called in the first place, after all

reg starts doing what he always does, waiting for james to get all hot and bothered, except james realises quickly that what reg is saying is very . robotic and script-like and . generic . so it's not doing much for him. he mentions it, they start bickering, which turns into fighting, until reg snaps and retorts with something along the lines of . as if u could do it better etc etc

as u can imagine, james takes it personally

i won't get into a lot of detail, bc this ask is already ridiculously long, but they do end up having phone sex AND getting off. james kinda takes the reins and manages to coax reg out of his shell + finds out about what turns him on along the way. reg finally gets to let go and enjoy this whole phone sex thing and james gets what he was looking for (and more, bc he never expected it to be so into it or find it so hot)

the rest of their calls would go on a similar fashion, even if james is always the one calling and reg always begins their calls trying to . retain control and do his fucking job

and i like to think they'd meet irl at some point??? they move in similar circles, they have sirius in common etc etc. even in a situation in which reg and sirius are completely estranged, sirius could end up reaching during the story, or they find out they live in the same neighbourhood. or, well, as a bartylily stan, i could also see both friend groups coming together (sort of) bc barty and lily start seeing each other. i also think they'd recognise each other by voice alone and have a breakdown about it. i think reg would notice immediately bc of his kink with james' voice and i think james would take a bit longer and be so chill while reg is losing his mind (only on the inside tho). and then reg would say something, like an specific word or . turn of phrase and it'd click for james!! he'd be ecstatic and trying to get reg alone bc this is like . his dream scenario while reg runs away from him lmao

#and those are my thoughts on the subject!! #i didn't know i had so much to say about this i'm very surprised #and embarrassed for giving u such a long and rambly reply.. #idk if this is what u were hoping for.. but i hope u still liked it beloved <333 #MWAH #asks #india tag <3

[lennon-gal]

please fill out, this is for science

#the beatles #paul mccartney #john lennon #george harrison #ringo starr #mclennon #paul mccharmly #personally i think they fucked up until india #but maybe that’s just what i want to think #60s #vintage #retro

[trans-cuchulainn]

let's be more positive about books for a while! here are some queer historical romance novels that i've been rereading recently that i think do something interesting with making characters feel historical in their mindset and worldview, but are also fairly progressive, diverse queer books that are, frankly, a delight to read

this is by no means exhaustive and to be honest i could put almost anything by cat sebastian or kj charles on a list like this so this is purely the highlights of what i've reread in the past week to take my mind off work, and why i think they're interesting from this specific angle

cat sebastian, the ruin of a rake (turners #3)

this is technically the third in a trilogy but they're only very loosely connected, so you don't need to have read the others if you don't care about knowing who all the background characters are. the others are also good though

why it's interesting: features a character who has had to painstakingly study and learn the rules of polite society in order to claw his way up to respectability, and is now deploying those skills to help another man repair his reputation. shows the complexity of those rules, the social purposes they serve, and the work that goes into living by them, as well as the consequences of breaking them. also explores some of the financial side of aristocracy, and features a character with chronic illness (recurring malaria following repeated infections as a child in india) whose feelings about his illness are very relatable without feeling overly modern.

kj charles, society of gentlemen series.

this trilogy is closely related plot-wise and best read in order. all three explore cross-class romances and characters struggling to reconcile their political views and personal ethics with their desires, in the aftermath of the peterloo massacre, with a strong focus on the political role of the written word. first book is long-lost gentleman raised by seditionists / fashion-minded dandy teaching him to behave in society; second book is tory nobleman submissive / seditious pamphleteer dominant who've been fucking for a year without knowing the other's identity; third book is lord / valet and all the complicated dynamics of consent there with a generous side-helping of crime.

why they're interesting: close attention to the history of political printing and the impact of government censorship and repressive taxes on the freedom of the press; complex ideological disagreements that aren't handwaved as unimportant; examination of trust, consent, and social responsibility across class differences and in situations with problematic power dynamics; most of the characters are progressive for their time without feeling like they have modern attitudes. the second book, a seditious affair, deals most strongly with the revolutionary politics side of things, but all tackle it to some extent.

kj charles, band sinister.

look i'm probably biased because this might be my favourite KJC. it's a standalone about a pair of siblings: the sister wrote a gothic novel heavily inspired by their mysterious and scandalous neighbour whose older brother had an affair with their mum (causing scandal); the brother is a classics nerd. the sister breaks her leg on a ride through their neighbour's estate and can't be moved until she heals so they both have to stay at the house and find out if the neighbour is really as scandalous as he seems.

why it's interesting: discussion of atheism and new ideas about science and creation (very shocking to the brother, who is the viewpoint character); details of agriculture and estate management via main LI's attempt to grow sugar beet, as well as the economics of sugar (including references to slavery); "unexpurgated" latin and greek classics as queer reference points for a character who nevertheless hasn't quite figured out he's queer; material consequences of society scandal

bonus: wonderful sibling dynamic and a diverse cast including a portugese jewish character, which i don't think i've seen in a book before

i will add to this list as i continue to reread both of their backlists! (bc i have read them all enough times and in close enough succession that they blur together in my head unless i've read them very recently)

#néide has opinions about books #kj charles #cat sebastian #queer historical romance

[sixlane]

so sweet

Bartylily microfic | 1.4k words | NSFW

for india @certifiedl0verboy because they said the world needed barty and lily getting high and sharing a costco cheesecake, and also han @honeybcj because the image of barty and lily shotgunning hasn't left my head in days <33

Lily opens her fridge and stares. The cool air and soft light leaks out into the empty kitchen as she contemplates how she became this person. The type who, completely unprompted and for no good reason, buys a whole Costco cheesecake for herself. 

The soft, round monstrosity sits on the bottom shelf of her fridge, taking up so much space she was forced to shove her yogurt into the vegetable drawer. The thing stares back at her, mocking, taunting, begging to be left to mold when she inevitably fails to eat it all. 

The sound of a key in the door snaps her out of the silent stand off.

Fuck, Barty’s home.

She can already imagine his confused smile and snarky comments when he opens the fridge for his nightly Red Bull just to come face to face with Lily’s unexplainable decision. It’s not like they’ve been roommates for long, or friends for that matter. They keep it cordial, stay out of each other's way, smoke the occasional bowl and watch old seasons of America’s Next Top Model, but this seems a little too close to soul-baring for comfort. 

Lily sits down at the table with a glass of water, tries to act casual, tries not to look at the fridge. 

“Hey,” Barty says, dropping his keys on the counter.

Lily nods her head, taking a sip from her glass. For a minute she thinks she’s in the clear because he’s already started to leave the room, but he doubles back at the last minute, realizing he’s forgotten something. 

He pulls the fridge open, reaches down, and stops, just for a second, before grabbing his energy drink and letting the door fall shut. 

Lily pretends she hasn’t been watching him this whole time.

He pops the top on his can, takes a sip and gives Lily a once over. “You having a party or something?”

“Will you leave me alone if I say yes?” Lily deadpans, though she can feel her face heating up. 

“Nope. Then I’d probably have to ask why I wasn’t invited.” He walks over to lean against the island, just a few feet between them, and looks down at her. He takes another sip.

“Ok look I needed more laundry detergent so I went to Costco and obviously I had to look in the bakery section and it was just sitting there. So. I bought it.” Barty’s smile widens as she explains until he’s just grinning at her. “What?” she asks, defensive.

“So you just bought the whole thing for yourself?” He says it curiously. He’s not judging, but she can hear the ulterior motive in his tone. 

She raises an eyebrow at him. “Spit it out.”

Barty huffs a laugh. “One second.” He sets his drink down and heads toward his room, leaving Lily to wonder what his plans are. She can never quite read him. He likes to play up this persona of his, effortlessly carefree and nonchalant, but she has always sensed something just below the surface. She notices it in the way he remembers her work schedule, the way he seems to have eyes in the back of his head. 

When Barty comes back, he’s got a bag of weed in one hand and his grinder and bowl in the other. He holds them up, mouth quirked in a dangerous way, waiting for her response.

Lily reflects the smile back at him. “I like the way you think, Crouch.”

So, Lily grabs the cheesecake, two forks, and some napkins, while Barty packs the first bowl of the night. They light up next to an open window in the living room, inhaling as the warm breeze kisses their cheeks and slides through their hair.

They wait until they’re properly high before digging in, and as Lily brings that first bite to her lips, allows it to settle on her tongue, she swears it’s the best thing she’s ever tasted. 

“Fuuuuuck,” she moans. “This was the best decision I’ve ever made.” She licks the back of the fork, wanting to savor the tangy goodness, and she doesn’t miss how Barty watches before he huffs a laugh and shifts his focus to take a bite of his own.

“God,” he says around a mouthful. “What does Costco put in this shit?” 

“It’s fucking amazing right?” 

It’s at that point that she notices a bit of cake smeared across Barty’s lower lip, so she leans over and wipes her thumb across it. It happens before she can even register she’s done it, but she fully commits, sticking her thumb in her mouth after, tasting sweet and something else.

“You use Aquaphor?” She asks.

Barty stares at her. Red eyes slightly widened. “You can identify Aquaphor by taste?”

Lily smiles with all her teeth and reaches into her back pocket to produce the tube she takes with her everywhere. 

“Put some on,” he says before picking up the bowl for another hit.

She looks at him suspiciously. “Why?”

“Just do it.” He sparks the lighter and breathes in deeply. 

She brings the tube to her lips and smears some on, watching his chest expand behind his t-shirt.

He holds the smoke in his lungs but motions for her to come closer and oh. She sees where this is going. 

The realization doesn’t stop her from leaning in anyway.

Barty’s lips ghost over hers and he breathes the smoke into her open mouth. She inhales in turn, taking the air from his lungs into her own. 

It’s intimate, she thinks, in a way that not many things are. To hold a vital piece of someone else inside yourself. To pass it back and forth with such care, not letting anything slip through the cracks. 

And that thought is what causes Lily to close the barely-there distance. To allow their lips to push together. To allow herself to fully taste the leftover sweetness and Aquaphor and Red Bull on Barty’s tongue, which he doesn’t waste a minute before sliding into her mouth.

It’s sloppy and uncoordinated where they lean over the half-eaten cheesecake between them, and Lily pulls back before her arms give out underneath her. 

They stare at each other for a moment, both smiling and laughing like idiots. 

It’s so easy between them, always has been.

“One more?” Barty asks.

“One more what?” Lily volleys back, eyebrow raised.

“Bite,” He says motioning toward the cake, sly smile across his face.

She rolls her eyes affectionately but nods, leans forward as he scoops another piece, sure to get some of the buttery crust on his fork. He holds it out for her to take but before she can, the pile of cake and graham cracker falls right onto her left tit.

Lily stares down at it, mouth agape for a second before she starts giggling again. Because it’s funny. Everything is so funny she can’t help herself.

That is until Barty’s tongue is dragging itself along the skin there, collecting the cake and making way for his teeth, which bite hard enough to leave a mark. 

He stares up at her as he does it, gauging her reaction. He gets the all clear when Lily fails to stop the needy whine that leaves her throat.

Barty trails his mouth upward, leaving open-mouth kisses along her neck until he reaches her ear.

“You taste so good,” he whispers. Voicing out loud the thoughts she’s been having all night.

Lily lets the corner of her mouth tug up. “You have no idea.”

“Fuck.” He reattaches to her neck and his hands find the button of her pants, dexterous as they undo it and work the zipper down. He reaches beneath her underwear, letting his long fingers slide through her wetness, collecting some before he brings them to his mouth, sucks sinfully and stares her down the whole time.

The haze around Lily’s thoughts sharpens to want, and Barty must see the change in her eyes because he smiles devilishly around the digits before replacing them where she needs them most. 

“So fuckin’ sweet,” he says, circling her clit lazily, not enough pressure to really get her there.

“Please…” she begs, arching into him, trying to push harder against his fingers. She’s too far gone not to act as desperate for it as she is. She wants his fingers inside of her, wants him to lick every inch of her, put his mouth in places it probably doesn’t belong.

“Shhh princess,” he coos. “Just enjoy the ride.”

Once they finish, Lily twice and Barty all over her stomach before licking her clean, Lily will realize they left the cheesecake in the living room under the open window.

Oh well, she was never really going to finish it anyway.

#lane put barty and lily in the same room but don't make them smoke challenge failed #something something food something something consuming #bartylily #lily x barty #barty x lily #barty crouch jr. #lily evans #marauders #marauders microfic #lane writes #microfic tag

[leeofthevoid]

Not so Meet-Cute

Part Two: Did we or Did we not?

Farleigh Start x Reader

a/n: This is just a thing I had in my drafts.

Word Count: 2218

Warnings: Strong language, Explicit Content

You and Farleigh didn’t exactly have the meet cute you desired to have. 

It was the most awkward meeting you had since secondary school and it sucked ass. India hyped you up so much about how great he was and how you could at least bed him for one night since he was just that good.

Yeah…No fucking way. 

Everything went okay for the date but man, he didn’t even try. Flirted with all the girls and guys you walked past while having that park date his cousin and India prepared for the two of you. Apparently you two would click like puzzle pieces, but what did those two know about games that make you think hard. At the end of the ‘date’ you were left with two melting cones of ice cream while Farleigh had a different woman in his arms, flirting with her. A fucking twat. 

After a year of getting over that disaster, you are so tired of university and the fact that you had no avenue to destress, or what common folk say sexual frustration. You needed sex!

“India, I don’t think putting me in a shirt that spills my boobs out will attract the attention you think it will.” You comment as she hands you this corset type black top with matching A-line red skirt. “Relax, love. It’s our first day back in university and you deserve to turn heads.” You huff out a sigh of defeat and just grabbed whatever it is she asked you to wear. 

You put it on and felt like the air was squeezed out of you. “My! You look so gorgeous babes, I’d snag you up if I swung that way.” You rolled your eyes as she adjusted the clips behind your top, making it at least breathable. Guess you won’t be eating today. 

India was right, you did get a decent amount of attention. Even got yourself to turn heads from multiple people. Damn that diet and exercise bit your mum asked you to do with her over the summer payed off well. People started to reserve seats for you that you had to fight to get the year before. They complimented your hair, your eyes, your body. Well at least you had free lunch. 

Everything went well…Until a little disaster happened. It was your afternoon class and you might have had a little too much of Annabel’s vegetarian sandwich when you heard a small tear on you. You looked down and it was your top, not big enough to be of alarm though, maybe get it stitched after your classes. 

It did not go as planned. It started to rip off half an hour into class and you had to slide out from the room to run to the nearest bathroom. You barged in and opened the only cubicle that was working when the whole corset ripped in the middle of your chest, exposing your boobs if you didn’t hold on to it tightly with your hands. Curse these fabrics. Your friends all had classes and you didn’t even bring your own sweater. In short, you are fucked. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Your wails were silenced when you heard a crash and the sound of footsteps hurriedly coming in, followed by sounds of…Kissing? No, moaning! Fuck!

“You’re doing so good for me, now be a good boy and open that door.” That voice sounded familiar and you were not excited about it. The other person…Guy whines as he tries to open your cubicle. The fuck is up with these bastards. 

“Shit it’s locked.” 

“Then force it open!” The more annoying voice said as the one pulling your door tries harder. After a few annoying and grueling moments of their struggle, you opened the latch and scowled at them. “Do you fucking mind?” You said, clutching the cloth on your chest as the other guy’s eyes widened. 

Holy fuck? Isn’t that Andrew? He was an apparent pussy-enjoyer and acted like that hetero straight guy. Guess the closet can be invisible. 

“Oh fuck.” Andrew said as he ran out of the bathroom. You are now left with that annoying shit you were praying to be so wrong about. 

“Hello, Farleigh.” Voice dripping with distaste, clutching on your top harder. 

He chuckled as he looked at you. Up and down with a wolf-whistle. “You look scrumptious, darling. Least you can do after ruining my little afternoon fuck.” He smirked, leaning on the door of the cubicle. “This is the women’s bathroom you little shit or did all that disease you carry finally blind you?” You said with annoyance,  crossing your arms over your chest securely, but your struggle didn’t go unnoticed. 

“Would have been a good insult if you weren’t in a bit of a situation yourself.” The sing-song voice was just adding more insult to injury. He was having a blast. 

“Well at least you get to witness what nice looking tits look like.” You proudly said while you sat on the cover of the toilet, crossing one leg over the other. “What good are those tits you flaunt if no one even sucks them.” 

“It’s called class, Farleigh. Bet you don’t even know the term ‘standards’. Yeah you should try that.” 

“Little Andrew too low for you?” He had an amused expression, waiting for another jab. 

“I guess you just take scraps now at this point. You desperate bitch.” You smiled up at him and raised your eyebrows. 

It would have been a victorious moment if your stupid corset did not eventually give out. It ripped fully and loudly like it sided with Farleigh. You clutched on it for dear life, eyes full of fear when you heard Farleigh’s guffaws. 

“Fuck! You know if you-you…Pffft.” He doubled over and clutched his stomach. “Shit, okay I’ll stop now. Pfft. Yeah okay I’m done.” 

“Fuck off, Start!” 

He collected himself and gave you a little smirk. “But…I’m your only hope at this point.”

He was fucking right. You had no choice. That evil grin on his face was slap-worthy but you wanted to go back and change without flashing the whole campus. You sighed in defeat and rolled your eyes. “Fine. Can I borrow your sweater?”

He smiled at you and looked at the spare knitted sweater hanging around his waist. “I mean…” 

“Farleigh!” 

“On one condition.” 

You groaned, “What!” 

“Well…A favor for a favor.” 

This bitch! Seriously! 

“Spill the fuck up or I will fuck your face up.” He gave you a challenging look before clearing his throat. 

“Go to my dorm later. I need to destress.” He winked as he threw you his sweater that you quickly wore to conceal yourself. He left before you could ask more and now you owe him a favor. 

Knowing Farleigh…It was a hundred percent sexual in nature. 

India heard about it, minus the Farleigh part. She just assumed a desperate boy offered you his sweater and tried to shoot his shot. 

You wish it was, could have been easier. You got to change into a more reasonable shirt but still kept the skirt going when India suddenly got a text from Farleigh. 

“Hey babes, remember that hot american cousin Felix has?” 

“…Date cheater?”

“Yeah. Well he told me to remind you about the favor.” 

You rolled your eyes and stood up. “India I have somewhere I need to be.” Your best friend was confused but simply nodded her head. 

You knocked on Farleigh’s door and immediately got pulled in. “What the fuck?” 

“Annotate my essay.” He pulled you to his desk and gave you a pen then jumped on his bed. That was…Unexpected. He was in thinner clothes, hands occupied with a book. Said nothing else to you and read his book. 

What the fuck? Okay then. 

The room eventually fell silent as you worked on his paper. Imagine being in your former shitty date’s dorm, annotating a decent essay. It was crazy. 

“Are you done?” He broke the silence, sitting up on his bed with a bored expression. It’s probably been an hour and surprisingly, you were done. “Yes, actually.” He wasted no time walking and leaned on the table, looking over your shoulder, checking your work. 

“Wow, tits and brains? You are the package.” You rolled your eyes while you looked up at him, eventually locking eyes. “That’s it? No weird sexual favors that usually get asked around?” Farleigh chuckled.

“Would you have given me a handjob if I asked?”

“No.” 

“See?” Well. He does have a point. You weren’t very discreet about disliking him. Even Felix knew about it. He squinted his eyes and then tapped your nose. 

“Actually…Wanna make-out? Just bored.” 

You know, if it weren’t for the lack of sex and fun, you would have never. But the curiosity and the boredom got to you too. 

“Sure.” You shrugged and broke eye contact by looking down at his desk again. 

“I mean, you did ruin my make-out session a few hours ago so…” You looked back at him with a scowl, his face visibly closer to yours.

He bit his lower lip, suppressing that fucking smile of his. “You know, what never min-“ 

Getting cut-off mid-sentence with his lips on yours was…Annoying. It was kind of an enjoyable annoying though. 

He was quick to spin the chair you sat on and held on the two armrests while slowly kissing you. Soft and tender like you imagined. 

He pulled you up the chair, hands snaking on the small of your back and the back of your neck, pulling you closer. The obvious size difference was a struggle, pulling you into his bed while you both traded desperate kisses. 

He sat on his bed, pulling you to straddle his lap. Man this fucker really loves dragging you around like a ragdoll, but the insults can wait. Pushing away from each other didn’t even last a few seconds until one of you pulled back in. 

He was so nice. So delicate. His lips were soft and his tongue, god his tongue worked wonders. He knew where you liked it and where you’d react, sliding down your bottom lip and exploring your mouth. He chuckled lowly when he could get a moan out of you, and even more so when his hands held a more sensitive part of your body. The room got degrees hotter than how it should be. 

“How far are you taking this?” You asked, out of breath. 

“Anything off limits?” His ragged voice, deep and velvety worked wonders on you but you had to stay vigilant. He’s still Farleigh.

“Anything down is a no-go.” 

“And tits?” 

“Fuck fine! Since you were so easy to insult the-“ He cut you off again with that big hand of his , massaging on your breast. It was just the right pressure to make you gasp. “Fuck.” You whined, causing you to wrap your arms around him. 

All of a sudden his door burst open. “Farleigh you won’t believe this, India said Y/N  got her shirt-“ Felix looked at the two of you on Farleigh’s bed, gossip cut short.

“Damn it Felix, knock mate. This is the fifth time!” You quickly got up from his lap and fixed yourself. “Hello, Catton. What did India say?” 

“T’s nothing. Carry on.” He quickly closed the door behind him and left. 

“I’m going.” You said while looking for your things, Farleigh just nodded and fell back on his bed. “See you around.” He said as you closed the door. 

The days after felt normal. India got the appropriate rundown of events that happened, excluding the parts that she would definitely share Felix. There were a few changes, being with Farleigh in the group. Having a bit more colorful back and forth when you are in the same space. The playful smirks and coy smile he has when his arms are wrapped around other people. Maybe let’s not forget the lingering touches he gives you when people are too occupied. 

“You know, that little toy you brought is interesting.” You jolted up as Farleigh dropped on the couch, bottle of cheap wine in hand. “Don’t get too interested now, I just managed to catch that one.” The party was muffled from where you sat, only the ones that passed out or was making moves with eachother settled in the living room with the two of you. “Speaking of, where is he?”

“David?” 

“Mhm?” Farleigh nodded then took a swig of his drink. 

“Huh…” There was a visible look of dumbfoundedness on your face when you realized you lost your date for at least half an hour now. “Holy fuck, I just lot my ticket to shagville.”

“Oh god…Ew!” Farleigh cringed, scooting away from you. “Seriously? Shagville? The fuck are you, ninety?”

“Oh, you’d want that so bad huh?” You teased. 

A comfortable silence enveloped the room. Farleigh continued to take drinks from his bottle while you lit up a joint he borrowed from you once in a while.

He blew raspberries, playing with his bottle or poking you. “So…”

“So…?”

“Wanna make-out?” He asked, voice slurring a little.

You shrugged, checked around th room for a few moments and just accepted the fact that your date is not coming back. 

“Sure.” You shrugged.

He nodded and stood up pulling you with him in search of a place to fool around.

a/n: Part two?! SMUT?!

#farleigh start #farleigh x reader #farleigh x you #saltburn movie #saltburn fics #farleigh catton #I want him so bad #please give him #to me #my baby

[mercurytojupiter]

the labyrinth - chapter one

a/n: do you guys have any idea how hard it is to get my friends to beta for saltburn?

warnings: farleigh being farleigh, which includes underage drugs, drinking, cigarettes and sex 18+

fic summary: ariadne gavin and her childhood best friend turned enemy return to saltburn for the last time

Ariadne is twenty-one now, and can hardly recall the last civilized conversation she had with Farleigh Start while sober. Everything about him is grating. She can't even imagine how he used to be her best friend.

He bites his lip as he throws an arm around his girl-of-the-week, whose name has come and gone from Ariadne's mind so quickly it was like she'd never heard it at all. Alicia? Felicia? She doesn't know and doesn't care. She doesn't. And she absolutely cannot smell the mix of his citrus and sandalwood cologne - a signature scent that they had picked out together when they were twelve, and yes, hers was the matching, feminine version of the same collection - and the sharp tang of cigarettes. She is not looking at his hair and thinking about how he's using the wrong conditioner because it's frizzing, and probably not even wearing his durag since he's waking up in a different bed every morning.

She's not paying attention to any of that.

She sits comfortably on India's lap, laughing breathily at whatever joke the girl just made. She doesn't know and doesn't care, but India tightens her grip and presses a red lipstick print into her neck, she takes another hit off of her blunt and waits for Farleigh to fade away.

Ariadne and India aren't dating, but they are fucking. Poor replacements for the two boys at the table, but replacements nonetheless.

Besides, if Ariadne had learned one thing during her education, it was that boys got off on girls making out. She liked it personally, but she knew some girls did it just to catch Felix's eye. Their loss, Felix didn't find Ariadne hot so he found none of the girls she kissed hot either. India has yet to learn this lesson.

Felix is talking about how some nerd was his hero or something because of the flat tire on his bike, Ariadne doesn't know and certainly doesn't care when the nerd himself catches Felix's eye.

Ariadne takes one look at the man and knows that Felix is going to string the poor boy along for months without even realizing it. Or, maybe he did. Ariadne doesn't care. She doesn't care much about anything these days, and when she does, she takes another hit, another shot, another something until the world fades again.

When she's sober and has no homework, she remembers to care about Farleigh, so she makes sure those two states never occur at the same time.

Against her will, she notes the way Farleigh's jaw tightens when Oliver Whatshisface approaches the table. This must be Oliver "Thus" Quick from his tutoring sessions.

Ariadne snorts as Farleigh shifts in discomfort and sinks back again as the conversation turns to who Ollie is, what college he's in, and other shit she wouldn't even care about sober.

Her attention tunes back in when the shot chant begins.

"Jagerbombs!" She and Farleigh demand at the same time. She shoots him a look of annoyance.

Farleigh makes a low rumble in his throat that only she knows to watch for. "It's your round, man!"

"I should go to bed," Oliver mumbles, suddenly green.

Farleigh shakes his head and curls entrancingly, so much so that she almost forgets to pay attention to what he's saying. "No, no, no, no. You can't snake out of your round."

Oliver squirms in his seat. Something about him is offputting, now that Ariadne's finished her blunt and is coming down from the high. "I'm not," the boy mutters.

"It looks like you are." Farleigh laughs, but Ariadne knows he's not joking. She knows that the alarm bells in her head are going off in his, and even more so, she senses his competitive streak flaring up.

The table boos except Felix, who seems to sense Oliver's unease. Ariadne rolls her eyes. Ever the angel, their Felix.

He's going to get himself killed that way. It's unnatural to Ariadne that anyone could be as trusting as he is.

"Okay, okay." Oliver concedes. Maybe Ariadne's imagining the way he seems to sneer at Farleigh as he gets up.

Oliver manages to get to his feet and heads for the bar, and Ariadne's final assessment begins to click into place. This kid was a gold-digging little weasel, but probably too weak to do any real damage, except for Farleigh, who seemed to be pissed off by the dude's very existence.

"Farleigh," Felix scolds.

"What?" Farleigh fakes innocently. She sees the way his round eyes widen and his lips open just enough that even India's head falls onto her palm in adoration. There's no denying that Farleigh is pretty.

"Just cut him a break, mate." Felix pleads.

It's not going to work. Whenever Felix asked any of them to be nice to his strays, they always got meaner. Her and Venetia included.

For example, poor old Eddie last year.

"What?" Farleigh repeats lower.

He'd never liked receiving orders from the Cattons. When they were younger, she might have soothed him back down, but it was no use now. She couldn't even if she wanted to.

The crack had become a canyon, just like her dad had foretold.

"That round's gonna cost a fucking fortune." Felix continues.

"Pub rules, Felix." Farleigh grins.

Silently, she agrees, but she decides she can't be here anymore. Farleigh's pretty, white and fox-like smile, had very suddenly become too much for her.

"I'm off." She declares suddenly, sitting up. The group groans and complains good-naturedly, and she watches Farleigh stare at her with an intensity she had grown used to.

She sits in her car for twenty minutes, smoking a cigarette and trying to pretend every time she's with Farleigh she can't feel him in her skin when she hears a tap-tap-tapping on her passenger window.

The man himself, grinning his evil grin.

She can't help herself. She unlocks the car.

"There you are, pet! I looked out the window and I saw you hadn't even driven away! How weird is that, hm?" He teases in that tone which he only takes with people he can't stand. She'd never imagined she'd be on the receiving end of it.

She takes another long drag of her cigarette. "You used to hate when they called me that. You almost broke Felix's nose over it."

"Pass." Farleigh demands. She hands him the cigarette and he puffs it gently. "You gave a shit about me then too. Venetia called me a dog and you fucking bit her. At fourteen."

"I was a weird fucking kid," Ariadne mumbles.

"What the hell happened to us?" Farleigh asks. His long fingers twist a ring, which she deciphers as nerves. She hates that she knows that. Because she wonders, if they aren't friends, and they aren't lovers, why does she know him better than she knows herself? Why does she think about the little things he's done since they were children and worry about his health? Why does she make sure with a glance that he's eating well?

What the hell happened, indeed.

Ariadne knows exactly what happened to them. She had a crush on someone incapable of loving her back and took the lowest of all low roads in her envy. She doesn't say that. She just shrugs. "I dunno, Far. I really don't."

Farleigh leans across the console, palm resting on her cheek, and kisses her.

For a moment, Ariadne sinks deep into the feeling. How many years had she craved his affection? How many times had she let him ruin her life just for a chance of this? His soft, plush lips on hers, their foreheads pressed against each other, his hot, warm tongue twirling with hers. It felt beautiful and religious and, above all else, right. Just fucking right. Like this was how it ought to have been all along.

But then she realizes that this isn't what she was waiting for. She pulls away, gasping.

"My dorm or yours?" Farleigh asks breathlessly.

Ariadne wants to cry. She doesn't want this. She wants him, but she wants all of him, not a night like he gave everyone else.

She shakes her head. "I can't. I can't, I-"

She scrambles for anything to say that isn't "I like you, and I've had a crush on you since we were seven."

"You can't cheat on Alicia." She settles on instead.

"I don't give a fuck about Alicia!" He huffs.

Ariadne sobs. "I know! I know and that's the problem, Far. You used to be so sweet. You used to love everyone and you would never hurt someone's feelings without a reason and I don't even recognize you anymore!"

Farleigh stares at her. "Is that why you stopped talking to me? Because I'm too mean, because newsflash, princess, you're not exactly all sunshine anymore either."

"I stopped talking to you because of Arabella Vaillancourt." She whispers before she can stop herself. Why would she say that? He's going to know exactly how immature and obsessed she is and-

Farleigh scrunches his nose. "Who?"

Ariadne bangs her head against her steering wheel. "You don't even remember. You shattered my worldview and it was so insignificant you don't even remember."

"I-"

"Get out of my car, Farleigh," she begs. She wishes it had venom in it. She wishes she had yelled or something. Instead, all there is left is exhaustion and heartbreak.

He doesn't argue, and that hurts even worse.

She doesn't speak to him again until graduation. Steals glances at him sometimes, after he breaks things off with Alicia, and shares twin looks of annoyance every time Oliver does something irrevocably stupid, but never words.

She misses it. Even arguing with him had been better than not having him at all.

Until, suddenly, on the last day of term as she packs her things, Farleigh bursts through her door.

"Felix invited Oliver to Saltburn." He says like he's announcing a death.

Ariadne groans. "You've got to be fucking kidding me, Start."

"He's worse than Eddie from last year," Farleigh complains, throwing himself on her bed like they're fourteen again.

Ariadne nods. "Like, times ten. Am I the only one who can tell that this kid is fucking insane?" She whines.

"No," Farleigh hums competitively. "I know it too."

"Shut up, this isn't about you," Ariadne commands.

Farleigh holds his hands up in the air in surrender before he gets distracted by her bookshelf.

"Is this that old copy of Pride and Prejudice I got you?" He asks.

Ariadne shrugs. "Yeah. I wasn't going to get rid of a perfectly good novel just because I was mad at you."

"Was?" Farleigh grins.

Ariadne sighs. "Am." She amends. "You are a mistake and a scourge on the earth."

"And," he licks his lips, "The first friend you ever had."

She doesn't dignify that with a response and sets about finishing packing her clothes.

"Do you ever miss Bel-Air?" He asks suddenly.

Ariadne closes her eyes and can almost smell the sea salt of Malibu Beach. Remember the small staff of her home rather than the expansive staff at Saltburn.

She also remembers her and Farleigh's mothers at the mini-bar drinking themselves into oblivion and her father yelling at her to be perfect and finds she even misses that too.

"Every day. You?"

"Yeah," Farleigh says, suddenly sounding very small.

He perks back up. "Arabella Vaillancourt was the girl I lost my virginity to at prep school," he declares proudly.

Ariadne bites back a smile. "Good. Now prove to me you've changed since then."

Farleigh practically skips out of her room.

Later that day comes the six-hour night drive back up to Lowick from school. Ariadne cherishes the drive. It's the only time she spends with the Cattons now when all of them are sober.

Venetia stretches her arms, as catlike as ever. "So, what're we going to do about the O-word?"

"Orgasm?" Ariadne guesses.

Venetia smirks. "Maybe for Felix, but I meant Oliver."

"Dad didn't get you the flat in town so you could be a bloody spy, y'know." Felix huffs.

Venetia pats his cheek. "But he never said it wasn't."

"I don't want to fuck him," Felix says sternly.

Venetia raises an eyebrow. "Then why the fuck did you invite him?"

Ariadne sighs. "I wish I fucking knew, Vee."

"Ari and I agree; the dude's a fucking creep," Farleigh says.

"I swear to god I saw him watching me change. And did you know he almost fucked Annabelle but he kept bringing you up and that's why she stopped hanging around?" Ariadne complains.

"Wait, what was that?" Farleigh raises a hand.

Ariadne doubles back. "He tried to fuck Annabelle. Little weasel-freak."

"I think he meant the part about Ollie watching you change, Pet, which I don't believe. He's gone through a lot. Did you know his dad died last week, right before exams?" Felix sighs sadly.

Ariadne rolls her eyes. "He's such a little snake I wouldn't be shocked if that was a lie. And I'm not kidding, I straight up saw him outside my bedroom window just staring at me."

"God, he deserves a good fuckin' punch, maybe it'll set him straight," Farleigh mutters. He's seething, and for once, Ariadne can't even tell why.

"Well, clearly not straight if he's hanging off Fi like you guys say," Venetia snickers.

They all laugh - even Felix- and the topic shifts to god-knows-what.

Ariadne scoots closer to Farleigh in the backseat, feeling like she did that first summer on this road.

On the first day at Saltburn, while they await Oliver-the-Golddigger's arrival, Ariadne holes herself up in her room to avoid running across the Weasel.

Ariadne only ever reads Pride and Prejudice at Saltburn. It is her yearly reminder that love is fickle and takes time and sometimes cannot be seized at all.

On her eighteenth birthday, she had gone with Vee to get the words "from admiration to love; from love to matrimony," along her wrist. Once, she had told Felix that the only people who understood her were him and Elizabeth Bennett.

A knock at her door has her scrambling up. "Dinner's in an hour."

She's shocked Farleigh came for her instead of Vee or Felix.

Farleigh leans against her doorway, already in his slacks and button-down, though his bowtie is disastrously loose.

"How'd you know to get me?" She hums, opening her closet.

Farleigh shrugs. "You always read when we're here. Figured you might lose track of time."

Sometimes she thinks that he must observe her as much as she does him.

"Is this a part of me telling you to show me you've grown?" She asks, pulling her tee-shirt off to slip on the black, floor-length dress for dinner.

Farleigh whistles lowly. "Maybe. Or maybe I thought it was unfair that Oliver saw you naked before me."

"You jealous bitch." She snarks. "Zip me?"

He strides across the room towards her - it doesn't take long, because he's always been much taller than everyone except Felix - and slowly zips her dress up. His fingers barely ghost over her skin and her whole body shudders.

"You look good, Gavin." He mutters.

She turns and fixes his bowtie. "Back at ya, Start. Y'know, you'd be gorgeous if you could keep your mouth shut."

"How will I lick Uncle James' boot, then?" He hums sarcastically.

She kisses his cheek. "You're improving, you should know." She pats his chest.

She walks past, but she knows he pumps his fist in the air from the sound of his clothes rustling.

Loveable damn idiot.

Dinner is an absolute bore. Elspeth gushes over Oliver, Poor Dear Pamela retells her sob story, and Venetia takes two bites of her dinner. Oliver is wearing one of Felix's suits. she can tell, the arms are too long, and the cufflinks are some old ones he had gotten for his sixteenth birthday.

She says nothing but shares a long glance with Farleigh. He rolls his eyes and she snickers.

Farleigh follows her up to her room. She was expecting it, to be fair.

He undoes his tie and throws it across the room before releasing the top few buttons of his shirt.

"Zipper." She reminds him. His lithe fingers are skimming her waist and her back, all the way up to the top of the zipper, and then back down again.

She throws on a tee shirt. "Go grab some house clothes from your room." She huffs. "Your hair has been bothering me since Oxford 'cause you've been doing it alone, I've got to do something about it."

He exits and returns in a tee shirt of his own and a pair of Fila sweatpants.

Ariadne missed this more than anything. The feeling of churning her fingers through his scalp. The way he simply relaxed into her palms. She loves it. She loves him.

Oh. Oh fuck. She loves him. She doesn't just like him, or have a crush, or want to fuck him out of her system, as she had been insisting since she was a kid. She loves him.

She breathes deeply, finishes his hair, and wraps it up in his durag. "When your curls pop back tomorrow, you'd better thank me."

He snorts. "Yeah, sure. Night, Ari."

"Night, Far." She watches him close the door to his room across the hall and scrambles over to Venetia's, swinging the door open.

Venetia is on the bed, painting her nails. "What?"

"I'm in love with Farleigh," Ariadne whispers, still shocked.

"Sorry," Venetia said automatically.

Ariadne slows her breathing to be heard. "I'm-"

"No, I heard you." Venetia interrupts. "I just think it's unfortunate."

Ariadne lays down beside Venetia and allows the girl to pet her hair. "What am I going to do?"

"Seduce him," Venetia says simply, petting and swirling a curl off Ariadne's head.

Ariadne groans, rolling away. "It's not that simple and you know it! I don't just want to fuck him, if I did I would have said so."

"So what, you want to marry him? Because I'll tell you now that's a bad idea." Venetia hums.

"No! Well, maybe? I don't know!" Ariadne whines

Venetia pins Ariadne to the bed. "Do not do anything stupid until you've decided what you want from him. I mean it, Pet."

Ariadne shrugs her off. "I'm not going to hurt him." She mumbles.

Venetia giggles. "Wasn't him I was worried about, Newmo."

Ariadne climbs off the bed, flipping off Venetia. "I'm going to sleep. Night, Vee."

"G'night Pet!" Venetia grins.

When the morning rolls around, Ariadne stretches out of bed at first light, throwing on a pair of house shorts and a cropped tank top. She would never have the old money urge to waste her nice silken robes on a simple breakfast at Saltburn.

She waves hello to Miss Portia, the maid, as she makes her way down.

"Morn' Liam, Joshie." She grins.

The two footmen wave to her. "Good Morning, Miss Ariadne."

Liam clears his throat. "Your boyfriend's already at breakfast."

"Oh fuck off, you nosy little-" Ariadne starts, but silences before Felix can pass them.

"Enjoy Breakfast, Ma'am," Liam grins.

Ariadne scrunches her nose and blows a raspberry at him before she makes her way to the table.

Farleigh's curls look decidedly better, she notices smugly, and she knows he's aware. He's already holding a cup of coffee and is probably the only one in the house who takes coffee instead of tea beside her.

"G'morning, guys." She hums. Everyone gives her similarly apathetic greetings. Felix looks like he fell out of bed.

She's halfway through her scrambled eggs when Oliver makes his way down the stairs. "Morning."

She waves, zoning out. Weasel.

"You sleep well, mate?" Felix asks, leaning a little over the table to look at Oliver closely. From an angle where she knows at least Farleigh and Felix can see her, she pokes her cheek with her tongue and pokes her finger in the air, mimicking a blowjob. Farleigh snorts so hard that coffee almost shoots out of his nose.

"Uh, yeah," Oliver mumbles. He's so mumble-y. It's grating.

"Hey, Oliver, have some breakfast." Felix coaxes.

Ariadne looks at Farleigh and rolls her eyes hard. She watches him smirk and feels a flutter of pride at the effect.

Duncan places Felix's boiled eggs on the side of his breakfast platter and retreats quickly.

Ariadne raises a hand and awkwardly points to her coffee cup, and a maid - Amelia, she thinks, the nice ginger one - pours her a new cup and then places the appropriate amount of creamer in it.

Ariadne silently mouths thank you and shakes her hands in a prayer-like stance. Amelia blushes and disappears from the room as if she were never there at all.

"Can I have a full English breakfast too, please?" Oliver asks quietly.

Ariadne looks at the table housing the food, and then to Farleigh, and then at Oliver the Weasel, and then to Farleigh again. She watches his eyes follow the same path and dip down to the magazine in his lap to keep from laughing again.

"Breakfast is on the side, darling," Elspeth says helpfully. "Just help yourself."

"How would you like your eggs?" Duncan asks, returning.

"It’s fine. I can get them." Oliver stammers. She rolls her eyes. Didn't he just see Felix's eggs delivered onto the plate?

"Not the eggs. The eggs are made for you." Farleigh corrects.

Felix gives him a sharp look, but in Farleigh's defence, he wasn't even being mean that time.

"Exactly. And everything else is on the side." Auntie Elspeth finishes.

"Fried over easy, please," Oliver says queasily.

"Ollie, we were just talking about the Shelley biography." Felix interjects, sweeping in to rescue the weasel.

Ariadne was sure they were, but she surely wasn't paying the conversation much mind. Until Oliver's arrival, she had been at peace, shockingly enough.

"Shelley who? Shelley, Belinda’s sister Shelley?" Poor, dear, idiot Pamela asks. Ariadne looks at Oliver. Pamela was Oliver's best future. A leech and an idiot who couldn't help but overstay their welcome.

"Oh, Percy Bysshe Shelley. The poet. The Romantic poet." Sir James explains as though speaking to a child.

"Oh." Pamela says simply because she is simple.

"Do you know the story about Shelley’s doppelgänger?" Venetia hums, hidden eagerness just below the surface of her tone.

Ariadne rolls her eyes. She couldn't count the amount of times Venetia had brought this up since she'd learned it.

Sir James, clearly sensing his daughter's nefarious tone, looks at her warily. "His doppelgänger?"

"Mmm. Shelley’s housekeeper was cleaning one of the rooms when Shelley walked past the window and waved at her. So, she waved back before she realized that Shelley was in Italy. And she was on the top floor of the house." Venetia had always had the perfect voice for telling a scary story.

"Oh, Vee. Stop, stop, stop. I won’t sleep." Felix balls up his fists and covers his ears.

Felix had always been a bit of a wimp, though Ariadne meant it in only the most loving of ways. Over countless summers they had held bonfires and told scary stories, and without fail, every time they did, All of them had to sleep in Felix's room because he was too scared to go to sleep. Ariadne is never annoyed by it though. It's a reminder of how sweet and pure their dear Felix is.

It was a stark contrast to Venetia, their resident investor in the macabre and overall gloomy and grotesque.

"A few hours later," Venetia continued, undeterred, "he drowned."

"Oh! Oh, that’s just given me goosebumps. Look, Pamela." Elspeth says dramatically.

"Oh, no." Pamela sighs in the same dull tone she says everything else.

"Look, Fi, the only important thing about Shelley was that he was married to the mother of science fiction." Ariadne comforts.

"I heard he fucked his sister, so there's that too," Farleigh adds helpfully.

Ariadne snorts, and so does Venetia.

"Oh, for God’s sake!" Sir James chides.

The weasel pokes his evil little head up. "I think that was Byron."

"Fucking English majors." She mouths to Farleigh. He gives a slight smile and nods.

Pamela and Elspeth talk nonsense about people Ariadne doesn't care about, so she reaches over the table, snatches Felix's apple from his plate, and bites in.

"What the hell, pet?" Felix whines.

Ariadne rolls her eyes. "You don't even like apples that much!"

Duncan delivers the eggs to Oliver's plate. "Thank you so much," he says, big blue eyes darting around like a frightened animal. then, the eyes peer down, and Oliver grimaces at the eggs.

"Is everything okay, Ollie?" Felix asks, that sweet, tentative sound in his voice that, when directed at the right person, could make you spill your deepest secrets and greatest fears.

The way he calls him Ollie, the way the Cattons always take to nicknames for their pets, makes her jaw tick. It's such an odd but effective way to claim possession over someone, and it didn't even occur to them that they were doing it.

"Er, ‘course, yeah. It’s just. Runny eggs. I get a bit sick from them."

Ariadne can't resist the urge. she whistles, quietly. Duncan is going to be pissed. The Cattons, especially Elspeth, will be horrendously embarrassed. The whole kitchen staff will have their asses handed to them.

"Sorry." He says as Duncan clears his plate of eggs, and again when Duncan leaves for more.

Farleigh smirks into his magazine. "Well, I'm goin' up to my room." He declares.

Venetia nods. "I'd like to head back to sleep an hour more."

Ariadne snorts. "I'm sure you can show Oliver to the pool by yourself, right Fi?" She grins wickedly, making a good show of yawning.

Farleigh waits in the doorway for her, and she flicks him in the chest as she passed him. He sets to follow her, undeterred. "Later, losers." She hums as she swings out.

#farleigh start x black!oc #farleigh start x original female character #farleigh start x oc #farleigh start smut

[hauntedpearl]

afadshd I SAID I WON'T SAY ANYTHING BUT. hmm. okay. this is gonna bug me i need to get it out. i think we as a fandom just. forget some things about the show. the thing is, canonically, dean doesn't have an "Asian woman fetish" because the show does not acknowledge it as a thing that even deserves such terminology. every male character on the show is into that porn mag (remember that teenager sam bodyswapped with? proof enough i think if this random kid also had a copy of it. oh also! old vintage bab at the bunker 😐). it's essentially the only porn mag that's explicitly shown on screen on the show. like. THAT'S the issue. the problem is that the show normalizes fetishizing Asians to the point where the only form of East-Asian rep until, i guess, Kevin (??????like???god?????) is like. bab. sgfshsjd IT'S INGRAINED IN THE SHOW THAT BADLY. LIKE. IT'S FUCKED UP. like. essentially. the show is saying that if you're into women, you're into bab. which. hmm okay. i mean I'm not as offended as i probably should be when i sometimes come across it in fic bc i am a tired old asian woman and i filter it out for my personal enjoyment of things. (which. again. tired old person. im careful enough, but i just need white people to know that I am one extremely hardened and tolerant person who puts herself out there for conversations like this all the time and therefore is USED to it to the point of being able to shake it off pretty easily. but like. this is not the norm and IT SHOULD. NOT. BE)

(also engagement with fanfic and traditional media is like different for me but ig that's a whole other conversation. im so much more forgiving w fanfic.)

anyway. this is me just trying to tell you that bab is not an essential part of Dean's sexuality. it's not a personal thing for him, being fetishistic about Asians. Bab is the show being like that. it's the camera. ghostfacers effect or whatever. In a world where eric kripke is not one seriously messed up insane man, it would probably just be some skinmag with like. idk. naked cowgirls or whatever ykwim? like please don't think you're veering from canon when you remove it from your work/discussions/whatever. you're not. you're just ignoring it like you're ignoring other stupid stuff that the narrative normalizes for you.

also. i am not trying to coddle any white people, but i need you to understand that doing a racism ≠ being a racist. like i think a lot of you are afraid of owning up to racisms because you think you'll be branded a racist (in this case, a gun touting redneck who says slurs ig), and like. you need to divorce yourself from that kind of thinking my dudes. we all live in a white supremacist world (me, too, even in India so far away) we are ALL going to do some racisms some times. it's okay to acknowledge that and learn from it. like we are pigs in mud, some will get on you etc., the best you can do is like. see what went wrong. self-examine. reroute thinking to greener pastures.

OKAY STUPID LONG POST BUT YEAH

#i won't say anything about 4lw tho because i think it's more nuanced than that in case of that particular fic and it's like. okay whatever #like i kinda see what the author waa going for and im like ehhh okay whatever. #the thing is. im not terribly attached to it bc it was very smutty for me so like yeah it was cute but it's not Thee Fic or whatever for me #so im like SORRY BUT I DON'T CARE ABOUT HER IS THAT AWFUL 😭😂 #but because all this discussion came up. i wanna talk about the overarching problem. which is not one fic or one person or one anything #it's the construct of the show and it's how you as a creator of fan content engage w it etc #don't @ me too much about this im TIRED AND STUPID #tw racism #long post

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Sunflower: Book 1, chapter 15

Tom Hiddleston x OFC Series rated: M Chapter warnings: Our flashback is a bit.. Uhum. Steamy? AN: Do we get our conversation? How childish will Mia be? Can she act like a goddamn adult? LETS FIND OUT!

Masterlist

~~~~~~<3

It had been four days. Four long, slow days. Four days where Mia could try to think without the overwhelming presence of a stranger in her space. Four days where Mia found herself longing for that presence.

Tom had been gone for four days and it had been twenty four hours since she had heard from Tom. Radio silence filled the air, though she tried to drown it out with music, television and conversations. How could silence gnaw at her heart in the very same way as the insane devotion that radiated off him did?

He was busy. He was working. He was… not here. And that bothered her. A lot. It shouldn’t, but it did. And that killed her. Not physically, but god did she kind of wish it did. 

She wasn’t clingy typically but she couldn’t help it. This was his fault. He demanded that she invest. How could she not when he insisted on finding any crack in her heart to worm his way in and try to find purchase to take root. 

He had made her think he was different. Hell, he had all but said he was different.

This was supposed to be different. 

But here she was, four days alone.

Sally was asleep and the apartment was large, empty and frigidly silent. She had worked a early shift and tomorrow had a late one. Exhaustion was deep in her bones but she needed to stay up way too late tonight. 

What was it like to have someone to be at home with, to not be alone in the silence of the night when she had no choice but play chicken with the morning light? 

A ping from her phone caught her attention. Glancing at it, she saw it was just another news push notification. It wasn’t a feature she wanted but it was installed automatically with the latest software update. There was enough in her life to be anxious about without getting 24 hour updates every day of the year on what god awful thing was happening in another state or country. It had been a few weeks but she hadn’t been able to figure out how to turn it off. 

It was just a matter of time until she figured it out though. She swore it. Every time it had gone off it had given her false hope that he finally sent something, she swore she’d figure it out. 

This was ridiculous. 

The reason for the radio silence was obvious. She had been right and he realized it. It was that simple. No need to pine, question and dance like a goddamn schoolgirl. 

With time away, Tom realized that everything Mia had said Saturday morning was right. In a few days or a few weeks she would get a notice from some lawyer initiating the annulment. Would he cancel the card he left for her to use? 

It’s not like it was hard to replace, really. It was just a credit card, he obviously could live without the physical card for a while. How hard would it really be on him if he changed his mind?

“Some promise that was.” Mia tossed the card absently onto the end table next to her. 

Ping. 

Ignore it. There was no point in checking. It wasn’t him. it was never him. 

Okay, she was being a bit dramatic. Really dramatic, maybe. She didn’t know. It was dumb. She was being dumb. It was too soon to decide he ghosted her. 

“Fuck,” She slumped back on the couch. “I guess I’ll be able to say I got ghosted by an actor.” 

Ping.

She couldn’t help it, she grabbed her phone knowing exactly what she’d find. It would be a second news story of little to no importance to her day to day life. An auto accident near by that slowed traffic patterns or a missing person on the other side of the country. A storm in Brazil or a heatwave in India. It would be a protest in China. It would be nothing.

It was a text message from contact Tom. 

“Can I call?” The message read. Another followed, “It’s late, I know.” 

She sent a single k back and waited for the other shoe to drop. There was nearly no wait for the phone to come to life in her hand. She hadn’t added a picture to his contact, it was just Tom H lighting up her screen. 

Nothing more. 

She took a deep breath and answered, “Hello,” 

“Is everything alright?” Tom’s tone was difficult to pinpoint. 

“Yeah-” She cleared her throat and sat up. “I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Just lay it on me.”

“Lay what on you?” Tom sounded confused and that confused her. “What are you talking about?” 

“You haven’t said anything, all day.” Her eyes burned and her throat felt tight. She needed air. The apartment was suffocating as she stood. 

“It has been a minute, I suppose.” He was picking his words carefully. 

“Can you just- why are you calling?” The glass door slid closed behind her. If Tom was going to do whatever she wanted to not have to worry about Sally waking up for it. 

“I wanted to talk to you?” Tom sounded unsure, on the other side of the country he had found himself off balance.

“About what?” Mia felt the anger sweeping in to push away her sadness. It wasn’t healthy but it was a bad habit that she often found solace in. Anger was safe. For her at least, not those in her way. 

“You’re upset with me?” 

“Stop asking questions.” Mia snapped. “What do you want?”

“I wanted to make sure you got the couch alright.” Tom’s voice was starting to pull tight. “Why did you think I wanted to call?” 

“To tell me I was right.” Mia’s voice cracked. This was it, their first fight was going to happen and it hadn’t even been two weeks. “To tell me…” 

Tom’s tone changed from the defensive and softened considerably. He may not be able to read her mind but he knew she was hurting. “I’m not calling to ask for an annulment. Why on earth did you think that?” 

“You never texted back. You stopped talking and I just- It’s been over a day and it’s been slowing down. It was just-” she clamped down on the words as her voice threatened to give away how close she was to tears, that safe anger winking out in her shame. 

“You missed me?” his voice was so soft. “I got absorbed in work. I’m sorry.” 

“No, no.” Mia forced a chuckle. It was all a misunderstanding. She was acting like a love sick schoolgirl. She was a grown ass woman married to a grown ass man. She shouldn’t be crying and thinking their marriage is over just because he didn’t text her for a day. “I swear- I’m not clingy.” 

“It’s alright.” Somewhere on the other side of the universe, he sat down heavily on the too big bed. “Things are new and delicate. I’m just as guilty for not being aware.” Silence ticked on. While they had texted while he was away (until it stopped) they hadn’t actually talked on the phone. 

“I saw part of your interview.” Mia wasn’t sure why she said it. 

“Which one?” Tom asked, his voice warming to life. “What did you think?” 

“The one where you talked about me.” 

“Did I- Was what I said alright?” Tom wasn’t totally sure which one she was talking about but he didn’t want to complicate things more. 

“I don’t like lying.” Mia said. “I know why you need to but I don’t like it.” 

“It’s not really lying, its just implying different and reinforcing our privacy.” That still sounded like lying to Mia but she let it go. She was pretty sure he more than implied they knew eachother for longer than a night in the segment she watched anyway. 

He could lie so easily and didn’t even agree with her on the definition of lying. The fact that he played pretend well enough to do it for a living showed he was good at telling lies too. 

Shaking her head, she pushed the thoughts away. Tom had never given her a reason to think he would lie to her. He has been earnest and honest from the moment they woke up Saturday. 

“Hiding parts of my private life is just a fact of my life. If I want to hold anything back for myself without the public picking it apart, it needs to be protected from them.”

“I know.” Mia sighed as she leaned against the railing. The fight felt like it had been narrowly avoided. 

“It’s people in my life I tell the truth but to protect the people in my life I don’t tell the world the whole truth.”

“I know, I know-”

“It’ll take time to get used to.” 

Silence filled the air again. This time it didn’t have that same icy chill to it. She had missed him and that scared her. 

“Tom?” Her heart beat too hard in her chest. Did he miss her? Even just a little? 

He hummed on the other side of the universe and she wondered what he was doing. They had a time difference of three hours. It was late for her but even later for him. Was he preparing to go to bed? Was he just getting in from a night on the town?

“What is it?” He asked after she failed to say anything. 

She wanted to tell him she missed him. She wanted to ask when he was going to come back. She hated it. 

“Don’t be a stranger.” God, that was so lame. Out of everything she could have said, that’s what she came up with?

“I have been, haven’t I?” It was Mia’s turn to be silent. She wasn’t sure what to say. It was weird to be married to a man she didn’t know.

“I mean, what’s what we kind of still are, aren’t we?” It was the best she could come up with to say. 

“I’m sorry. I’d gotten busy and fallen away from texting you. I- Luke tacked on a few appearances. The trip got extended. Usually it’s nothing, I didn’t think anything of it. Until I did. But by then- I didn’t know what to say.”

The ability to apologize was not one that Mia had seen much in the men that had spent time in her life. It reassured her that he could do something as simple as say ‘sorry’.

“I should be back by Friday.” Tom said, sounding sure. Just as sure as he had sounded before he left. “I promise.” 

“Don’t.” Mia’s voice came harder than she intended. “Don’t promise if you don’t have control over keeping it.” 

“Mia-”

“I need to get to bed. Work tomorrow.”

What moments of warmth they had shared during the call had cooled. Would it always be like this? She hoped not. Could she ever feel safe enough to stop icing him out as soon as things warmed up? 

“I’ll call again tomorrow?” Tom fell back on the hotel bed. This call had not gone how he intended but who’s fault was that? He should have just told her when the plan changed. 

“If you want.” She didn’t know what else to say as she stepped back into the apartment, locking the sliding door behind her. 

“I do want.” Tom hesitated, “It’s good to hear your voice. To talk to you. I missed you.”

She didn’t know what to say. Couldn’t say anything. Her heart pounded in her chest and her hands trembled. “Goodnight, Tom.” Was what she managed to squeak out before disconnecting the call.

~~~~~<3

Tom pressed her against the door. His hand was large and firm against her waist, holding her right where he wanted. Fumbling, with his wallet trapped in his pocket, he struggled with the other hand. His pants were tight around his hips and his current state of mind didn’t help matters. 

Her nails scratched at the hair at the back of his neck as she clung to him. It felt like she was floating, swimming through a sea of desire and alcohol. She needed him. She wanted him. “Hurry.” 

“Got it.” The wallet slipped out. It was a struggle to flip it open with one hand, then find the hotel keycard. In the process of getting the card out, he dropped the leather wallet to the floor. 

His breath was hot in her ear. Lips worked, leaving harsh kisses along her neck. As he worked the card into the slot, he moved his hand from her waist to her breast, stopping for a firm squeeze that had a soft moan slip from her lips. 

“I need you.” She whimpered as the door beeped, denying entry. 

“Who do you need?” Tom asked as he flipped the card around, trying different sides hoping one would work.

“My husband.” That set fire to him. 

The door beeped the correct tune this time, granting them entry. Tom hooked the door handle with his hand, slapping it down clumsily after yanking the card from the door. The door swung open, no longer providing a solid surface to support their weight. 

Tom held her up with a arm flung around her waist as they stumbled in. He kicked blindly, relying on feel alone to help him ensure he kicked his wallet somewhere into the room.

“My wife.” Tom breathed as he kicked the door shut behind them. Alone at last. 

~~~~~<3

Taglist:

@winterisakiller, @alexakeyloveloki, @jennyggggrrr @dangertoozmanykids101, @tilltheendwilliwrite @tinchentitri @wizardcherryblossom  @buttercupcookies-blog @violethaze @kats72 @soulpiercing @evedia

#Tom hiddleston x ofc #tom hiddleston x oc #Tom hiddleston x original female character #Tom hiddleston x original character #tom hiddleston fanfic #Tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston rpf

[cult-of-the-eye]

What experience I would give as a statement to Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London? Statement fucking begins...

Summer after GCSEs, whole fam picks up and goes to India for 3 weeks

Listen we are hubristic. We literally go from Britain to Turkey to Delhi airport, to a different airport, to Banaras in a taxi, to Siliguri in a sleeper train, to Kalimpong in a car, back to Siliguri in a van, then to Kolkata in a sleeper bus, to Dhakha, Bangladesh by plane, to my grandparents place in Sylhet by car, then back to Dhakha, then back to Delhi, then back to Turkey and then back to Britain.

Tell me we didn't have at least one entity on our side.

None of us got ill. We had a 6 yr old with us. She didn't complain one bit. I'm 100% sure I blacked out for the majority of it. No other explanation than paranormal.

Those sales assistants in shops have to be fucking avatars of the web or something the way they fucking smile and you until you've blinked and you've bought 3 lehengas and she's like very good ma'am

I met my grandma's sister who looks exactly like my grandma, speaks the exact same way, acts the exact same way. It was so uncanny I could've sworn she just was her. Probably very normal explanation (genetics) but we can never be sure.

I made friends with a hand sized spider in a bathroom by singing "Mr spider, please don't kill me" in the tune of Mr sandman to it every day. It disappeared on the last day. (giving spiral)

I got myself an Indian accent. I am not Indian. (Most of my family is from Bangladesh, I was born there) I am not good at accents. I'm not sure how this transpired (could be some elaborate sociolinguistics explanation but I'm gonna go with paranormal)

We went on a massive family day out with cousins to a river near the mountains and we all had a great time until this little menace of a cousin literally got carried away by a current and we were terrified until one of my uncles literally grabbed him by the leg and yanked him out right before he would've gotten completely carried away. I don't think that's pure luck, personally.

My aunts staged an intervention for me about my posture (Not supernatural, Im just salty)

My dad successfully convinced some strangers who sat next to him on the plane that the reason me and my siblings spoke such good English was that we went to an English medium school. When pressed, he came up with the most elaborate story ever. He gave them a random school we went to, told them we were his boss' kids and he was taking us home, bullshitted a company and then when one of them went oh my dad is a higher up in that company, he says oh didn't he retire recently and the guy goes yeah he did! We are completely oblivious of this story, until he leans over and tells us not to call him dad for the rest of the plane journey. If that's not fucking Stranger behaviour then what is.

We get home, exhausted out of our minds and we realise we can't find our fucking front door key. We pile into the back garden and proceed to search through the entirety of our bags, trouser pockets, pockets within bags, we're all on the verge of tears, I'm catatonic, my little sister has picked up a stick and is slowly peeling it, my other sister is the only one actually looking and my dad is staring at the luggage, as if it had grown legs and was doing a little dance right before his eyes. We do find the keys after 20 minutes. We never mention this again. That's fucking paranormal shit right there don't even try to convince me otherwise. Michael the distortion was fucking with us.

Statement ends... (Although that's definitely not even half the shit that happened)

Watch Jonathan "Jarchivist" Sims crumble beneath my experiences. Hes so bamboozled that he forgets to try and discredit me. I bring him a packet of laddoos and some aachar.

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #jarchivist #rambles #statement begins #statement ends #indian jonathan sims #it wasnt scary per se #but it would be one of those statements you come out of afterwards like what the fuck #what the fuck just happened

[balkanradfem]

(I just realised how long this is after typing it out. my bad, i have a habit of yapping too much 😭. Feel free to ignore this if you want. I love your posts btw i learn a lot thanks to you)

radfems seem to be more successful in korea compared to other regions. they are good at organising and have done public protests where they absolutely don’t hold back, Here’s some footage from a korean feminist protest: https://youtu.be/O4vWycy0sDI?si=2KmBUQ7Jpp9prt_q

The way they don’t care about what people think and just start all out screaming at men is refreshing. They have many radfem forums and groups and the discussions in these websites is so much more practical than what I’ve seen here.

They are very focused on self improvement and achieving economic, political and social success compared to radblr which is more communist and promotes living in a little wooden cabin in the woods with some other women to be more eco friendly. Nothing against communism i just think while we’re already living in a capitalist society promoting communism in female spaces will just lead to women becoming poorer and oppressed further by rich men. And nothing wrong with being eco friendly either but I don’t think women living in a hut will do anything when men still at large continue to destroy the world. 

the main website korean women use to organise is called womad. It’s so much better than any feminist forum I’ve ever seen. It’s anonymous and usernames are automatically generated and change every hour or so so that no one can be recognized anywhere. The police have been trying to crackdown on them because of extreme misandry for a long time but all attempts have failed. 

From reading their posts it seems almost all of them have a good understanding of politics and economics. Their discussions are productive and they don’t have any infighting like radblr and they don’t let any other social issue distract them from the real enemy which is men. What do you think could be the reason behind this? Are korean women just intellectually superior? I personally feel like korean women have the highest iq of all women. I look up to them a lot and womad has taught me a lot.

They even have a women’s party in korea and they won around 200,000 votes which isn’t a lot but it’s still a huge achievement. Check out womensparty.kr 

I wish indian women would catch up. I’m sick of indian moids taking up every inch of space in this country. Every street in india is filled with moids, it’s so dystopian there are no women in sight. One would think only men live here. This is also the reason there’s so much fucking trash in the streets. These overgrown manchildren who have their mommys clean up after them go out and throw trash wherever they see fit and do not bother cleaning because that’s a woman’s job. Women can’t go out to exercise because every public space is occupied by men. I’m so so sick of them. 

Power to the korean women! I'm glad you're finding guidance and inspiration in the feminism they lead and that they're so successful, I admire it as well!

I'm standing by indian women and hope they manage to gain freedom! And until they do, we need to prop them up and also be on their side. Only males are our enemies :)

#korean feminism #indian feminism #passionate about feminism #anon you've learned so much #go and steer the women in the right direction :)

[saintsir4n]

2

WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF MATURE CONTENT AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE

"CALI and I have always been friends. Her mum knew mine through modelling, then our dads realized they had a passion for shooting pheasants and watering plants." Felix relayed everything to his new friend Oliver. After the night at the Kings Arms, they had gotten close, extremely close. Oliver practically clung to his shadow. "People think she's this outgoing person, she is, but she's very kind, sometimes too much but she doesn't let it show."

"Is she scared of letting people in?" Oliver awkwardly shifted in his chair, surveying Felix's excitement whenever he talked about Calypso.

Felix shrugged, "Isn't everyone?"

"Not you," Felix chuckled at his retort. "But are you really friends? You act very close, India and Annabel shoot daggers at her whenever she walks into a room."

"They're possessive. But I don't really date."

"Wouldn't have guessed that. But you and Cali —" Felix's briefly hardening face made Oliver realize how true Farleigh's statement about her was. "Calypso," he corrected, "do you like her?"

"How could you not, look at her."

His tone was so enthusiastic, it was almost like she was in the room.

"I would but you'd have my eyes if I did for too long," Oliver joked, putting a warm smile on Felix's face.

After taking a long drag Felix replied, "She's not mine."

"But you want her to be?" Oliver subtly leaned in.

"Do I want to fuck her?" Felix laughed.

"Do you want to love her?" Oliver gingerly asked.

Felix already started, from when he noticed the scent of the shower gel she used to when she changed it to mango, he could've sworn that was his favoured flavour. The times her hair curls grew tighter with water and dripped with oil that her scalp absorbed. The giggle she let out at the show she was watching, Sex and the City, had a special place in her heart which Felix was forced to watch. All the instances she pushed up her glasses when they slid down her nose, pulled up her jeans that hung around her curves and flipped through pages of books she ranted to him about drew him closer, like Icarcus to the sea that caught him in the end.

Felix loved Calypso, possessively so.

___

Calypso danced like she and the music were one, the beat didn't move her, she controlled it, pulling at the drums, swaying to the symphonies and lip-syncing to the lyrics, putting on a show for all to see.

The strobe lights jumped around the room as she nodded her head, gossiping in the corner with Farleigh as he stared ahead, narrowing his eyes at how Felix catered to Oliver, shielding him from the cold eyes of their upperclassmen.

It was pathetic to him, seeing someone leach off his family.

"Come on Farls, dance with me," Calypso pulled him from the side, careful that his party hats didn't drop and twirled around him.

"Nice to see you in your fuck me pumps."

"They feel great," she teased, making him genuinely laugh as they pranced around, "It's never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter."

Farleigh dropped his dismay as he danced with the girl, "it's never over," they belted out the nineties hit.

"She's the tear that hangs inside my soul forever!" Calypso's eyes scanned the room, landing on Felix when she finished the lyric.

He had been staring the whole time, beaming at her until his attention was stolen again. Oliver whispered in his ear and suddenly his eyes were on him and so she decided to stroll over, leaving Farleigh to the bodies who surrounded him.

Her braided hair was decorated with golden Jewelry, the first thing that Oliver caught when she appeared in front of them.

"What are you two nonses yapping about?"

"You," Felix shamelessly admitted, wearing a police hat.

He put zero thought into his costume, unlike Calypso, who was dressed like a cowgirl, donning boots that touched her knees, thrilly brown shorts that left little to the imagination, just like her shirt that exposed her midriff and chest. Her hat and whip were lost the moment she started drinking, not that she minded.

Felix's heated gaze drifted to her necklace that she sported every single day.

She squatted in front of them, leaning against Felix's stretched legs, fueling his lust, making him pluck off his hat and place it on his lap.

Calypso instantly smirked.

"You did something to your hair," Oliver snapped out of the trance and pointed out.

"Well, at least someone noticed," Calypso jabbed, playfully glaring up at Felix who pouted.

"I told you that this morning Cali," he said, sitting up slightly.

"But not this hour. Anyway, I'll soon be off to find MJ. Let's hope she isn't getting molested by your freaky friends."

Felix scrunched up his face, "She doesn't swing that way."

"She does and if she didn't it wouldn't stop them," she pointed out, expanding her hand on his leg, drawing a sigh from him.

"You told me she was shagging Colton," he said breathily.

"No, it was Cade, apparently they met last month when the twins dropped by. But Caspian the little git fell in love."

Oliver interrupted them, "Do we go to school with them?"

Their moments made his palms sweat, he often didn't know where to look, so he shared his focus between them.

Calypso snorted, "Fuck no. I mean that in the most loving way. They're my brothers. All complete dopes."

"Three brothers?" Oliver questioned, intrigued.

"Six," the friends corrected, stunning the boy. Calypso further added, "All beginning with C, just like me. Do you have any siblings?"

Oliver quickly replied, "No."

"Lucky you. Cherish that gift. Promise me," Calypso jutted her bottom lip.

Felix slyly smirked, shooting a glance at meek Oliver.

Calypso knew her impact on people, especially men, it was overwhelming, sickly to unexpected victims but alluring and interesting to the right ones.

"I promise." Oliver nodded quickly, as her gaze returned to Felix.

"Annabel clearly wants you," she stated, drawing him to clench his jaw. "She's in need of a quick shag."

Oliver, who was shocked at how the pair were acting as if they didn't need the other, was quick to pawn him off to her competitors. Or he came to learn she wasn't in the running. She had already won.

Felix sarcastically smiled and gently pushed her off, letting her take her place on the sofa next to Oliver.

The two now watched him save Annabel from Jake on the opposite couch, smacking her arse on the way out.

"Well, what the fuck, mate? I've been chirsping her for about an hour. I wanted at least a handjob," Jake exclaimed, groaning into his hands.

Harry scoffed, "I know. We all want a fucking handjob, mate. Get yourself a title and a massive fuck off castle."

Oliver didn't expect to see a smirk on Calypso's face, that met her sanguine eyes.

"Are you – you're not mad?"

He didn't understand and grew more uneasy when she faced him, crossing her legs, causing his stare to drop to them.

"Because I know he fucks them to the thought of me," she revealed, finding pleasure in the whole ordeal.

"And that's something you like?"  he leaned closer, breathing in her mango scent, momentarily closing his big blue eyes, making her chuckle.

Calypso innocently told him, "Well... I do the same thing."

She laughed at his comically large gaze and quite frankly Oliver didn't know what to do.

"With them?" he squeaked.

"Why not? The pool for good shags around here is like a pond," Calypso gestured to their fellow students who she wasn't attracted to in the slightest. She then smacked a kiss to his cheek, staining the flushed skin as she rose from the couch, "Good night Oliver and make sure to tell Felix that for loyalty points, I know you need them."

She didn't spare him a glance when she strutted away, immediately being welcomed into Farleigh's circle who were dancing to Madonna's Vogue as Monika screamed her name.

"Cal!"

"Coming MJ!"

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

a/n:

what do you think? keep commenting, i wanna know people's theories about the story.

https://pin.it/6CRef3fSp (vaguely how i imagine her costume) https://pin.it/3MHHGdJBm (how i imagine her hair for the night)

#rush saltburn wattpad #rush saltburn fanfic #rush wattpad #rush fanfic #felix and calypso #felix catton x calypso danforth #calypso danforth #calypso #felix and cali #felix catton x black!reader #felix catton x reader #felix catton #wattpad #fanfic #black reader #black girl #saltburn fanfiction

[javelinbk]

What happened after the trip to India that has people wondering what happened to John and Paul in India? Why is it a big deal in their relationship?

Oh god, don’t ask me anon. I’m the biggest ‘nothing the fuck happened in India’ person there is.

I honestly have no idea why people think something happened there, other than maybe because John fully took up with Yoko afterwards? But he was already seeing her before that, and he didn’t leave Cyn until after he and Paul went to New York, so you might as well ask ‘what happened in New York?’

I think it’s just one of those things that’s become so popular in fics etc that it’s just become part of fandom lore. But I don’t get it.

[eggtrolls]

Re: the men in black quote - I think you misinterpreted what the point was haha, the guy said that in response to will smith's character going "wait you're telling me aliens are real? that's not true!" bc everyone thinks what they know is the sole factual truth until it inevitably gets disproved. so people once "knew" the earth being flat is The Truth, until scientists discovered otherwise - who knows what other supposed objective truths of our time will be disproven hundreds of years from now?

great news, you absolutely misinterpreted what I meant.

let's review: the quote in question is, "fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the earth was the center of the universe. five hundred years ago, everybody knew the earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. imagine what you'll know tomorrow."

my tags: #congenital defect to be the funsucker but those first two are obviously and patently untrue. still a fun quote

my meaning: neither of these statements are true because 1500 and 500 years ago, many, many people knew and had known that the earth was not the centre of the universe and that the earth was not flat, respectively.

explanation point A: 1500 years ago puts us at 523 AD.

the first non-geocentric (as in earth is the centre of the universe) model was proposed by Philolaus who died in 390 BC.

the first heliocentric model was proposed Aristarchus of Samos, who lived circa 290 BC.

The classic Tamil work Ciṟupāṇāṟṟuppaṭai from the 3rd-5th century AD by Nattattaṉār is so head in the game that it uses "the sun being orbited by planets" as a metaphor. so people had already, for hundreds of years, known that the earth was not the centre of the universe.

I can kind of see the point on this because the heliocentric model had undergone periods of acceptance and then got shot in the foot with the publication of the Almagest and wouldn't come back into vogue for some time. my point is that plenty of people had already known that the earth wasn't the centre of the universe.

explanation point B: 500 years ago puts us at 1523 AD.

there is no explanation for this. it's straight up lazy writing and historical revisionism and also believing popular and dumb myths.

our main man Pythagoras (6th century BC) proposed a spherical earth. This was followed up by a spherical earth model from no one's main man Aristotle (330 BC). Ptolemy (2nd century AD) made his maps from a globe.

the 5th century AD Indian astronomer Aryabhata (who also had some stuff going with the heliocentric solar system model! crazy!) assumed a spherical earth model in quantitative astronomy models for developing a calendar.

Persian baddie Fakhruddin Razi (1150 – 1209) explicitly said "...because the Earth, even though it is round, is an enormous sphere, and each little part of this enormous sphere, when it is looked at, appears to be flat."

getting closer to the present, Thomas Aquinas (1225–1274) assumed a spherical earth model and that everyone KNEW that the earth was spherical.

for the hat trick, Ferdinand Magellan started his circumnavigation of the earth in 1519 and the ship came back in 1522, almost exactly 500 years ago! fucking Christopher Columbus knew the earth was a sphere!

which is to say: girl, they been knowing that!!! where the fuck have you been that you've been listening to Washington Irving about the idea that medieval (European) people thought that the earth was flat?

explanation point C: there are, effectively, no beliefs that have ever been so agreed on by all of humanity that we can say "everyone" "knew" it. ancient India had atheism. atom theory goes back to ancient Greece. there are plenty of examples of matrilineal and matriarchal societies that actually valued women as people. Thucydides, Lucretius, and Marcus Terentius Varro all had an idea of diseases being spread from an infected person to a healthy person ("there are bred certain minute creatures which cannot be seen by the eyes, which float in the air and enter the body through the mouth and nose and there cause serious diseases"). I point this out because I am a chronic funsucker who loves to nitpick, as I am doing now.

explanation point D: if you think I'm too stupid to understand this incredibly basic and historical oversimplifying ass quote, unfollow me.

#'people once “knew” the earth being flat is The Truth until scientists discovered otherwise' like you must be joking. please. #Egg talks #people love to imagine a woman so stupid #all of this information is from Wikipedia by the way you can cite all of this

[xmaudx]

BAKUGOU X READER HEADCANNON FOR MY LOVELY WRITERS

im too delusional for using a tollywood movie to give me a bakugou x reader headcannon but hear me out. Okay so in a past fantasy au life where deku bakugou and the rest of them either own a realm within asian or work for their king/queen. bakugou is prince of the dragon rhealm (obvs) with kiri being his personal dragon. And then there’s you gonna make the reader indian cus why not do it for my south asians but your the princess of a much smaller realm. I’d like to think how the two of u meet is cus suki is travelling around asia as a punishment by his mum for idk fucking something up ( maybe beating up someone from the todoroki family lol ) and so when he’s visiting india he’s near ur realm. And whilst we’re outside your kingdom there’s a few bandits being menaces to a nearby village tryna rob families of their gold and hurt the women. And suki thinks of interrupting but kiri stops him for a moment saying this could cause a fallout with the realms cus apparently this intefers w other peoples business ( crazy ik ) so whilst suki is like arguing w kiri he hadn’t noticed your carriage door open. Only when a shawl sort of waves up and down attracting many of the bandits does he start to focus on you. He sees how the rich silk dresses your skin,the gold jewellery shining under the sun. But damn that shawl he cant see your face. Until a sword pierces through the shawl stabbing three of the bandits. From the cut on ur shawl he sees ur eyes first ( if you guys havent clocked this is devasenas entrance from baahubali i usggest yall watch it ) and from then on he sees your whole face as you fight against the bandits successfully winning.Long story short yall fall in love u find out hes this big prince. sick. except suki gets a message back from his mum telling him to bring you back for dabi so that you can be his wife before he is to return shortly. Ofc u get pissed suki knows his mum however does not have a choice if she is to maintain the peace amongst all realms of else it can cause a huge war. he says he will only bring u as a guest back to his home to which u agree. again long story short baahubali 2 story i suggest yall watch it. but yeh no so basically u go to sukis as a guest not as a potential wife, yell at dabi for his misogynistic view of love, find yourself being the catalyst for a major war w basicaally all the league of villains againt mha main cast. Someway along the line ur kidnapped by dabi raped horribly, tortured blah blah blah. when everyone meets at the battle, youre thrown to the floor for all to see your state. bakugou swears to kill dabi which u both do together, ur given basic soldier clothing after suki coaxed u to take rest instead u reply with “ i fight” but as your both walkign to each other near the end of the battle shiggy crushes bakugous heart. suki falls on top of u, u cry like how wanda did over her brother falling to ur knees before being shot by arrows and dying too. PAST LIFE DONE. so now in the current mha world u and suki r both well known heroes but ur like also top 2 in india but ur now moving to japan for a long term mission at a hero conference ur hand brushes against suki which reminds him a bit about his past life tho he cant see ur face from his memory. when he turns to see who brushed his hand he finds himself in a crowd with so many possibilities. u guys can take it from there

#mha bakugou #mha #mha x reader #bakugou katsuki #fantasy au #mha headcanons #deku #kirishima eijirou #dabi x y/n #my hero academia shigaraki #bakugou imagine #bakugou angst #indian reader

[devitalise]

omg imo I could've sworn there was at least one full week left of november for some reason but dec 1 is on friday BYE locking myself up to finish my books 🏃‍♀️ HOW WAS YOUR NOVEMBER READING!! are you already in the holiday spirit are you planning on reading/watching some holiday related things to get you there? this one's rando, but do you have any favorite holiday foods/desserts/drinks you're excited to indulge in during this last month o 2023 ☃️

november being 30 days always goes by SO quickly she knows we're ready for the main event. november was a very good reading month for me let's get into the

november book wrap up

Small Island by Andrea Levy

i finished this pretty early on in novembr, my thoughts are along the same lines as my goodreads review: Great piece of historical fiction. I found parts of this so funny and I'm not sure if that was the original intention but I did have a giggle! The humour was found moreso in Gilbert and Hortense who are just so, so different to each other and Hortense's wilful misunderstanding and naivete as she tries to be a Model Minority was just so funny it was a much needed brevity compared to the heaviness of the rest of the story. Such foul racist thoughts that can be burdensome after a while, though. Yeah! I don't need to read the POV of a white British man stationed in India in the second world war ever again, actually! I enjoyed reading though.

A Game of Thrones by George R.R Martin

reread this because I hadn't picked up a high fantasy book I'd actually enjoyed in a little while. Great! I love ASOIAF as a series love returning to a known entity. I can't find my copies of A Storm of Swords or A Clash of Kings so continuing my reread is on pause until those unearth themselves.

Drive Your Plow over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk

Brilliant! So, so atmospheric. Incredible translation to me, obviously I won't know for sure until there ever comes a day where I can read Polish, but I got so much of the story out of this. It was just so cool and not what I expected at all going into it. I've never read anything like it before so getting to grips with all of the quirks of the style, subject and character was its on experience.

Butcher's Crossing by John Williams

Stoner was one of my top 2022 reads, so I saved this knowing that I'd like it. Rachel Cusk coded. It didn't blow me away like Stoner did, but I appreciate these are two very different books with completely different approaches. Where Stoner is so insular, things are kind of bursting in Butcher's Crossing. William isn't a complete active character, but he's participating in his life. Really cool setting, one of the most tense books I've read which I find can fall short in books with more action but the way tension builds and builds and builds in these fraught interactions between the four men on the mountain is fucking incredible. Immediately watched the film after this, and I love Nicolas Cage as much as the next person, but it fell short for me as an adaptation and as a film, sadly! Will be reading Augustus very soon as the last novel Williams' acknowledges as his own work.

The Power of the Dog by Thomas Savage

Another Western! Apparently I couldn't get enough! Not long finished this, so bear with for complete thoughts. Realised that I haven't read a book with such a sinister character in a while. Phil is sinister and strange and he's complicated, and I just really liked this book! Took me a while to get through because it is so dense at parts, but I think playing the long game definitely paid off. I love books that can make life so dramatic, all of the small stuff builds up to this big moment kind of thing. Netflix removed this film??? Will be making time to watch it this weekend for sure!

Outlawed by Anna North

3/3 with Western's which is so out of left field for me I feel. Finished it today, but on my top 2023 shelf, for sure. I think reading these back-to-back has made me appreciate the difference in style and storytelling so much more. I was a bit nervous because I've found previous Reese Witherspoon book club picks really juvenile, and whilst this is way more accessible than BC or TPotD, there's still a lot of complexity that I was able to enjoy. I love communities and found families, and it just really got me reading this book about these "women" ostracized from society making something of their own at risk of imprisonment and hanging. Thought it was really neat :)

December Reads

I'm on the Kindle through to the end of the year (10 days to New York!) so I'll be getting a couple new titles to diversify my options more. I don't have anything set in stone but I did download pdf's of The Hunger Games series which I've never read before so I might do those.

My Christmas mood started on November 1st! Multiple plays of Ariana Grande's Christmas & Chill, and I've already watched a few Christmas films. I watched The Holiday for the first time recently and found it boring :( I'm not a Jude Law enjoyer sorry.

Oh I love a hot cider! Ferrero Rocher's, stuffing, anything Christmassy really! I'm also so excited for a Christmas in New York! I have an itinerary going and many pictures to take!

#book talk #djservo

[litgwritersroom]

I am in love with Bruno. Please.

Snog, Marry, and F*** My Life

S4 | Bruno/MC | 2900+ words | @i-boop-you

The morning after Dylangate, the Islanders get a text telling them it's time for a game of Snog, Marry, Pie. How is this going to go down for MC and Bruno considering they've not even spoken about what happened?

Bruno sucked in a deep breath, gearing himself up for what was to come.

He and India had yet to speak, not since they fell out last night and she had slept out on the daybed. ‘Fell out’ was a bit inaccurate though, since he hadn’t even let her speak, he’d basically just told her to get lost and called it a night, leaving her to fend for herself.

The deep seated regret and embarrassment that had invaded him all night made his whole body sag like it was physically weighing on him. He could barely look her in the eye, he didn’t even know how to start a conversation off, so he’d lingered as long as he could in the empty bed that had never felt so fucking big before, all until he felt too musty. He showered for double the allotted time they each got, his mind a mess of thoughts and whole lot of nothing, his feelings too heavy and solid to let him think straight. By the time he made it outside to face her and the rest of the Villa was when the text came through.

“Islanders, it’s time for Snog, Marry, Pie. Boys are up first, so get those rings polished, the lippy on, and the pies handy. Hashtag, I think I wanna marry you, hashtag, pie time.”

Bruno’s already bloated heart felt fit to burst, his mind saying nothing, but finding enough strength to make his eyes well up.

He had yet to even apologise and now … now this? Of all the challenges, too. He gathered himself up, telling himself to be thankful it wasn’t a vote about the strongest couples. Whatever chance he and India had of winning that was blown out the park thanks to him.

Honestly, Bruno had no idea why he had reacted like he had. It was so unlike him, and everything he had heard was so unlike her. There was no logic to his reaction, it was like someone had flicked a switch in him he never knew he had and the setting was ‘prick’.

Speaking of pricks…

The new boys were up first, and Dylan barged before Oliver to pick up the ring box before the big guy had a chance to offer. Bruno was just joining the lads by the bar where the props were kept while the seven girls lined themselves up along the grass.

There was India. The fresh sight of her sent a lump in his throat, dried out his mouth, and heaped the anxiety on top of him like he was under a rain cloud and each drop was an invasive thought reminding him of how badly he’d fucked up. For the life of him he couldn’t look away.

Like that first moment he saw her up-close, fully realised, in person, there was no way he could tear himself away. One look at her and it was meant to feel like all was right in the world, but he didn’t feel that anymore. All he wanted to do was reach out to her, to take her hand in his, and steal one small smile from her. That’s all. One touch, one smile, that’s all he needed to know that they would be okay, that he hadn’t completely screwed everything up.

But she never looked at him. Never even glanced his way. Instead she stood, head held high - like she should - and had Angie’s hand clasped in her own where Bruno’s should have been. She wasn’t smiling, but she didn’t look that glum. Last night was a whole nother story. Her eyes had been welling up their whole conversation, the tears leaking out before he’d even turned his back on her.

Why had he felt so self-righteous? Why was he so indignant? When did India ever ever make him doubt her or their relationship? Who even was this douchebag Dylan to even get in Bruno’s head like this? There was no reason for Bruno to act the way he had done, none at all.

And this game was going to bring the consequences of that down on his head. Probably covered in a very creamy pie.

Fuck my life.

“All right, I’m snogging this girl because I know she’s not had enough of me yet,” Dylan said, swaggering down the line of girls, walking up and down them, flexing like he’s some prize, oblivious to the way each and every one of them turned their nose up at him. Then he stopped in front of India.

Bruno sucked a breath in between his teeth again. Youcef patted him on the shoulder.

“Well, mon vieux, if that face she’s pulling right now doesn’t tell you everything you need to know…” Youced whispered, pulling back from Bruno, his eyes alight as he watched Dylan and India.

If Bruno didn’t know any better, he would say that the look in Youcef’s eye was a tad triumphant, like a part of him was enjoying this. Well, it wouldn’t shock Bruno too much. Youcef does like a touch of drama that doesn’t involve him. There probably isn’t more to it than any of that.

Dylan went to grab India’s face, intending to entrap and control the kiss, not giving her a way out of it … Bruno’s heart skipped a beat. The rhythmic thudding intensified as India dodged the kiss, giving herself a triple chin in her efforts to fall back from him. If Bruno’s heart wasn’t in his butt he might have chuckled.

“Think again, sleaze,” Angie told him as India burrowed into her.

Bruno appreciated the way Angie held India close, kept her huddled away from Dylan, and knew he had more than that to be thankful to her for. She was the one who stayed out all night on the daybed with India. There’s nothing Angie wouldn’t do for India, and right now Bruno was so grateful, though he knew he’d have to get back in Angie’s good books as much as he would India’s. Maybe even moreso. That woman was fiercely protective of India.

Dylan went off pouting as the girls cheered which ended in the boys clapping and whooping too. Bruno nearly smiled seeing the red blushing up Dylan’s face, couldn’t help but revel in the shared delight they all had at Dylan’s humiliation. Bruno knew he was just as deserving, but right now, he was just happy to have someone to throw all his anger and bitterness and resentment at.

The fire burned because of Bruno, but it was lit and stoked by Dylan, and each hard and thunderous clap of Bruno’s was a representation of how hard Bruno wanted to use his hands against Dylan’s dumb face.

After Thabi refused his marriage proposal and India had pied his kiss, it left Dylan in a fine little sulk. His strut only returned after furiously pieing Angie. He packed a proper wallop into it, really using his volleyball arm. It was a proper Ben Stiller as White Goodman throw. Petty, vengeful, harder than necessary, meant to punish.

She took it like a champ, even standing a step forward in the line, like she was stopping Dylan from even thinking of picking India to pie, shielding her from everything she could. It must have been her comment to Dylan that granted her that wallop.

Despite the booing from the girls, Dylan lorded his way back to the boys. India turned Angie to face her and busied herself by helping Angie remove all that cream, returning a percentage of the care back to her friend.

Bruno just wanted to go over and hug them both.

He stayed where he was as Youcef went next. To no one’s surprise, Youcef snogged Najuma who was all over it in return. Yup, they’d both had plenty of practice doing that. When it came to his proposal, Youcef got down on one knee before India.

Holding open the little blue box, Youcef said Frenchly, “Mon amor, something, something oh so beautiful and very Francoise.”

India swooned along with the other girls. For some reason this burned even hotter within Bruno. On a normal day, Bruno wouldn’t have minded, would have laughed it off, because of course the other guys would be all over her.

Today, though, it was a look at what could happen, a reminder of how badly he’d screwed everything up.

With Youcef’s ring sitting prettily on her ring finger of her right hand, India took Angie’s hand as Will’s turn came. After snogging his new partner TIffany, Will also got down on one knee in front of India. Bruno wondered how many more of these he’d have to suffer through before he finally got to have his say. Though the longer this game went on, the more bottle he lost.

Every. Single. One. Nearly every single one of the guys besides Dylan and James proposed to India. Bruno stood there, the bile in the pit of his stomach frothing away, boiling within him, sinking him further and further into his hole, making him wonder what the point of it all was.

“India, would you do me the honour…” Will said once he was on one knee.

“Of making me the happiest man…” Oliver’s speech went.

“You’re so unbelievably funny and sweet…” Tom purred, flashing a ring that probably wouldn’t even make it past the gilded gates of his estate it was so cheap.

On and on it went, the other guys reciting their lines, professing to India all the things Bruno should have said last night, showering her in the love and appreciation she deserved.

“In a garden of flowers, you are the most beautiful…” “No one else in here like you…” “Only a madman would let you go…” “With everything else going on lately, you deserve this the most…”

Each proposal was like a knife in the chest. How was Bruno’s proposal supposed to stand out and make things even a smidgen better after she had the other guys falling all over themselves to cheer her up. He wasn’t against them cheering her up, she obviously needed her friends rallying around her, but how was Bruno supposed to make it up to her if he … if really wasn’t good enough?

All his insecurities were coming up again, smacking him harder than they had the night before when they led him to believe everything he had heard about India. Maybe it would just be better if he didn’t bother, if he just let her go … She’d probably be happier with one of the millions of guys waiting to propose to her now, be better off

Maybe it was time to call it all off.

But then it was Bruno’s turn in the game. The other lads threw out encouraging hoots for him, did what they could to big him up and show him they were rooting for him, but Bruno had to wonder if there was a small part in each of them hoping that this was it, that Bruno would fail India once again, just so that they could shoot their shot with a clearer conscious?

No, no, that was too cynical, too mean. They were his friends, they wouldn’t think like that.

Bruno took the ring, ready to propose right afterwards. He went to Angie and she stiffened at once. Out of the corner of his eye, Bruno saw India stiffen, too.

They had yet to make eye contact even once and Bruno wasn’t about to have it happen for the first time as he went in to kiss her best friend. Bruno reached out for Angie’s hand and brought it up to his lips with an exaggerated ‘mwah’.

“That was for being there for my girl India and looking after her when it should have been me,” Bruno said, letting go of his grip on her. He looked at a spot between the pair of them, wanting to speak to them both, but too afraid right now to look either of them in the eye. “It’s fair to say that I never should have reacted like how I did last night, so I’m really thankful that India had such a good friend in you Angie, and I hope that you two will have each other for a long time because while I don’t plan on losing my head like I did last night, chances are high that I’ll do something stupid again in the future. Something to make India roll her eyes and call you up and say ‘hey, guess what stupid thing Bruno did this time’. But hopefully your answer will be more along the lines of ‘let me guess, he’s booked a holiday for the both of you without getting me a ticket’ rather than ‘he didn’t believe you over some creep he just met that day and kicked you out of your bed’.”

And Bruno looked at India. She was looking at him. The nervous tinkling of uncertain laughter died off. Bruno got down on one knee, eyes only for India.

“India, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I will never, ever do something like that again. I’ve never been more mad at myself than I am now for what I did to you. I’ve got no excuse, I just let my own head and insecurities get the better of me, but I promise you I will never act like that again. One night away from you has made it clear to me that nothing in this world compares to you, nothing ever will. It’s been, what, a month? And yet you’ve become the most important person in my life. I don’t know what I’d do without you, and I don’t want to find out. I know how hard it might be to believe after last night, but, India, I care about you so much. There isn’t anyone else for me, and if you give me another chance and forgive me, I am going to spend every day from here on out making up for yesterday, proving to you that you’re the most special, beautiful, and funny girl in the world, and that I’m never about to take you for granted again. India, will you take this symbolic gesture,” he holds the ring up higher, “and give me another chance?”

Her expression was soft, but not with forgiveness. It showed only the deep pain he had put her through, showing how much she cared about him by giving away how much this one incident had deeply wounded her. Bruno couldn’t bear it, but he had, too. He would never forget it, it would be seared in his mind forever, as he swore to make sure she would never look at him like that again, at least not of his own making.

As thoughts of her taking the ring, images of her throwing it back at him, filled his mind, so his eyes filled with tears. This was it. If she took the ring, it was the first step to easing his mind, and his anxieties, and his heart, showing that she was willing to not write him off from his one instance.

He loved her. He fucking loved her, and he would never forgive himself if he never got the chance to tell her that. God knows that Bruno wasn’t about to tell her for the first time after an argument, in an attempt to sway her back to him, to make her forgive him. Their first ‘I love you’ would be completely for them, in a moment of love and romance, just like she deserved.

The world took a breath, inhaled in deep, as India reached for the ring. She had eyes only for it, her current conflict clear upon her face. Bruno couldn’t move, couldn’t breath, not until -

India put it on her finger. Her left ring finger, unlike she’d done with the four other rings she’d gotten. Her gaze flickered back to him as her hand was stretched forward, the symbolic gesture of a ring hanging there in the space between them. Bruno’s heart rate doubled. India nodded.

And he was smiling. His wet eyes felt even wetter and it was taking a whole lot not to let those tears leak out. He bit back his smile, not wanting to appear too cocky or come across like a self-assured jackass, but God Bruno felt like he was on cloud nine now. The effect India had on him was dizzying. That one little nod made him feel like he could fly.

Before that, though, it was pie time. The last one of the round. Bruno loaded up the pie crust with nearly a whole bottle's worth of squirty cream as the other lads laughed. Bruno could revel in their jokes and laughter this time around, and could appreciate the sunny sky. Was it just him or had the greyness ebbed in the last few minutes?

There was a skip in his step as he prowled the line up of girls, looking for his victim, making jokes and cracking them up with his dumb pie puns.

“Truth be told, there’s only one person standing here who deserves this,” he said, grinning at India, who was trying to suppress her own smile. Bruno waited until she cracked, her cheeks slanting up to her eyes, making them crease, a snort of laughter she couldn’t help escaping as she knew what he was going to do.

And then Bruno doused himself in the cream, smacking the pie into his own face. As the shocked laughter and the hollering of the others roared in his ears, he smeared it all over his head, rolling it up into his hair and feeling it drip onto his shoulders and down his chest.

“Well,” he heard India shout, “there’s some just desserts if I’ve ever seen them.”

#litg #litg writers room #writers room #litg fanfic #litg bruno #bruno kaminski #litg prompt #prompt #i-boop-you #ask #writing prompt