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uponrightful · 3 years

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So, I love possessive, jealous Crosshair 🥵 Tell me about this scene (please?):

“Trouble doesn’t suit you, doll.” He murmured lowly, soft voice contrasting the slight pressure over her pulse point and the swell of her hip. Crosshair was all-consuming and Dutch was weak to do anything but try to stay silent under his pressing weight and commanding presence at her back.

Also, I’d love to know what Echo was thinking once Cross went to the fresher after Dutch.

You’re the best! 😘

Commentary Track for Coriolis Effect

Copy 500 words -or more- of any of my fics and I'll give you my thoughts/rambles on what was going through my head -or the character's- when I wrote it!

*send one in here anytime!*

My oh my! 😍 What spicy scene we have here. I'll start with what's going on with Crosshair first, then I'll come back for Echo and the rest of the Batch. haha

***

Crosshair is fuming with rage during his conversation with Echo: It's that kind of bodily energy you get after watching a action-movie, where your whole body feels tired, but it's twitching with adrenaline that can't be spent or released. That kind of feeling you can't get rid of no matter what you do to ignore it, or work through it. Your mind feels like it working so fast that it's in slow-motion, overanalyzing the smallest details until your grinding your teeth because there's nothing else that helps relieve the pressure.

But the second he enters the refresher all of that energy snaps from anger and fear for Duchess, into dead calm. His inner voice stops screaming and evens out in tone and his hands stop shaking. His breathing slows and the second Cross sees her standing there, it's like he's been meditating deeply for hours. This kind of concentration is only present in Crosshair one other time... And you guessed it. When he's shooting.

Note: This is the epitome of Crosshair's ability to manage impulse-control in unfamiliar -and stressful- situations. Key-word here being "unfamiliar." I firmly believe that Cross is painfully terrible at monitoring and expressing his emotions. He has so many of them all the time that from a young age he had to learn how to turn them off in a moments notice, simply so he could survive. Think about it... How can a sniper worry about his brothers dying right before his eyes and still make clean shots? Not even Crosshair can do that. So the second he's certain Dutch is safe -by visually proving her health- that well-trained nature takes over to protect him like it always does.

Crosshair -at this point- isn't sure what he wants. He needs to touch her though, remind himself that she's tangible and within reach. Not that he isn't aware of his effect on her, but this moment isn't about sexual appeal or attraction. This is desperation, and Crosshair knows that; He's just banking on the hope that she'll let him, because she's always done so. He feels safe with Duchess, and even though this feels/looks sexy, Crosshair feels completely vulnerable right now.

Note: I will say it now; Once and for all. I have never subscribed to the idea that Crosshair is a typical Dominant/BDSM/Sadisim kind of guy. And the distinction is all to do with motivation. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out why he acts the way he does, and how that manifests itself. So when I planned this scene, I wanted to focus on just how strong his desire to have security is. Not prowess, or control. It's all to do with the desperate need he has to prove how he feels about her. That kind of vulnerability just comes easier to him physically than it does emotionally. Duchess gives him a sense of stability -in and out of the sexual sense- that makes his characterization insanely complex and difficult to balance.

The moment he finds his words, it's a compulsory need to cover his own jealousy. Crosshair is undoubtedly unhappy knowing she went out with Regs... but what's really bothering him is how easy it is to feel so strongly for Duchess. Every time he speaks, it's intentionally driving attention towards someone else, and away from his own desire to be the focus of her attention. Cross uses his fear of her being unsafe to mask the jealousy that constantly compares himself to the others who can give her attention more freely than he can personally. Duchess sees his calm nature as patience and precision, but it's really Crosshair planning out what he's going to say because he knows one wrong move will reveal just how desperate he is to have her acceptance of him.

Note: I've never struggled to balance possessiveness and love like I have with Crosshair. He's so intense that if I'm not careful, he comes off like a walking red-flag. Word choice is essential when getting Cross' character and reactions right. Whether it be the way he talks to her, or the way he naturally falls into a protector role. That's why when I'm writing for him, it takes double the time it does to write anything else. Every movement, every word he says, needs to be written like he says it in the moment. That's the only way to show his softness... because the love that he gives is best felt in person. You can't describe Crosshair's love with words easily.

Now for sweet, sweet, Echo.

Let me preface this by saying: Echo is his brother's keeper. There is a relationship there that goes far deeper than the ones Crosshair holds for his other brothers. It happened slowly, but it wasn't until the two of them were too far into it that either recognized what had happened. Their personalities are something that wouldn't really mix on first glance, but for some reason or another, they just get each other. It's natural, and they gravitate towards each other.

That being said, Duchess and Echo are their own kind of dynamic. I see them as the "platonic-soulmate" kind. She has an intensity that Echo marvels at, and Dutch knows she could take any problem to him and he would do anything to help her. They both see something in the other that they wish they still had, or could develop. It's probably the purest friendship Duchess has ever had, and Echo can't help but harken back to Fives when he sees her attitude -in future chapters.

Note: From the first moment I created Duchess, I just knew in my heart she was meant to be something special to Echo. To me, it was only right that Crosshair's doll would feel strongly connected to Echo as well. Add in their common feeling of loss for brothers, and that just made their relationship that much stronger. She's such a force, and the ARC trooper can't help but find a enamorment with people who have such a strong will and fiery personality. (See Fives)

The moment Echo sees Crosshair, he's already preparing to do anything necessary to protect Duchess from incurring another possible hit to her bruised emotions. Echo trusts Crosshair, but he's highly attentive to Cross and how raw his emotions are. Their interaction is based in Echo's desire to save the couple from losing the chance to do things the right way. Intuition and experience guide Echo through the whole conversation; He really is flying by the seat of his blacks here... But he's so well-versed in reading Crosshair that none of the other Batcher's even think about offering to be the first one Crosshair faces when he comes in the bunk hall. Echo has unmatched faith in Cross, and this was something both of them knew would happen.

Note: Writing this scene was challenging for a number of reasons. For one, neither Echo or Crosshair really talk a whole lot. They say what they need to, and that's the end of it. So I spent days watching Echo and Crosshair's interactions. Trying to figure out what I could based off the -very little- examples I was given. In that, I found that the two of them hardly ever stand next to each other, but they're constantly sharing glances and looking at each other. Echo and Crosshair have silent conversations all. the. time.

Had Echo not allowed Crosshair to go and see Duchess, their sexy scene would have never happened. (And I played around with that idea very seriously...) Ultimately, Echo's intuition was the deciding factor. That conversation, and Crosshair's attempt at honesty was the reason Echo felt confident in letting him speak to her. And although Echo could sense Crosshair's patience running thin, he'd already told the rest of the Batch to be prepared for any fight. Echo wouldn't put it past Cross to stun him, but a gut-feeling kept him from mentally preparing to do the same thing.

Additionally, it was Echo who made everyone leave the bunk hall. The second Crosshair and himself reached an agreement, Echo was the first to step away. His next move was to shove the rest of the Batch out the doors and give Duchess and Crosshair the privacy needed to work through their shit. And although he expected it to end in sex, the desire to keep their business between them alone was Echo's main motivation to empty the bunk room. Neither Crosshair or Duchess really trust the Batch at this moment -in Echo's mind at least- and risking their privacy wasn't something the ARC would stand for. In the back of his mind though, Echo was terrified that Crosshair would fuck her and leave it at that. He's seen the sniper at his best and his worst, and although his best is wonderful, his worst can be miserable to endure. Echo was praying that Crosshair wouldn't be too harsh -physically and mentally- on Duchess.

When Hunter finally decided enough time had passed, Echo was on edge to see just where the two of them would be. The image of them sleeping in separate bunks: Crosshair pretending to sleep -like always- and Duchess laying quietly and pretending like nothing happened shook Echo to his core. But the second he saw her bunk in a disarray, and her not in it, Echo couldn't help but fucking grin. He was proud of his brother for doing the right thing. For doing something for himself, and not worrying about how it would make him look for once. Add in the way Crosshair reprimanded Tech, and how deathly serious he looked with her sleeping peacefully against him...?

That was the moment Echo knew for certain that Crosshair was never coming back from this. He saw a visible change in his brother, in the way his attitude changed. The way Crosshair wasn't worried about himself, or attempting to hide behind sneers and sarcastic comments. Echo noticed how attuned he was to her in that moment, putting her comfort above all else. For a man who pretended to not care about anything, Crosshair did a terrible job of hiding his true personality when Duchess was curled up into him. And Echo couldn't be happier, knowing that his trust in Crosshair hadn't been for nothing. Not only was his brother experiencing love in a way that all of them desired, but Duchess was never going to live with the question of whether or not someone truly cared for her.

***

I hope this was what you were looking for in-terms of answers 😅. I had a great time writing this for you, and I hope you'll feel comfortable doing this again whenever you feel like it! I love sharing the behind-the-scenes stuff with you! It makes the cuts and editing feel a little less sad knowing I might be able to share some of it with you anyways!

#uponrightful #uponrightfulwrites #coriolis effect #Crosshair #the bad batch crosshair #the bad batch #commentary track #saltywintersoldat

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vaguely-concerned · 4 years

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The Mandalorian Chapter 11 reactions; the ‘the sea is a harsh mistress’ edition

- on first watch this wasn’t really one of my favorite episodes. I think it’s something to do with... one of the many things I love about the mandalorian is how it made the star wars universe feel HUGE. big and surprising and unknowable, there could be fucking anything out there man we don’t know. so having first bo katan show up and then ahsoka being set up right after (quite aside from who’s rumoured to play her, which is an entirely different can of wormy beans) in additon to opening the season on tatooine... eh. I’m not that into it, it feels like shrinking the world. we haven’t even gotten to see any other type of force user yet. it is only early/mid season tho so they’re probably going to pull some unexpected twists on us

my opinion might change with rewatches too, that happens quite a bit with this show!

🎶I’VE COME TO TALK WITH YOU AGAIN🎶

honestly I had kind of a hard day yesterday and watched this the next morning and kept pointing tiredly to the crest like ‘it me tho’

- I was unreasonably happy about seeing the calamari flan again hahaha he’s been keeping that shit in his pockets for a season and a half now (didn’t he pay with some at one other point too?)! also the sound effects for them are SO EXCELLENT, I keep thinking about how well this show does texture which is wild considering how it’s filmed

- the warm pat din gave frog lady’s arm when he thanked her and said goodbye 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I love the small ways he’s thawing

my heart ached so much for him at this point, he just looks so small and tense and lost, like a kid who’s lost his parents in a supermarket

(he keeps his hand on the blaster the whole time too so he knows this is a bad scene but now they’re right out in the middle of the ocean already soooo)

- din’s very very very dry sense of humour is so blessed. ‘a bowl of chowder for my friend’ faklhfsadkjlfhsadkjhfsd

the baby’s look when he poked the squid thing with his knife too -- yodito’s like ‘dad is a wizard??’ haha. some good baby & dad stuff in this one

- oh din... side quest boy, side quest booooooyyy

- the shot when bo katan helped him out of the water is perfectly mirroring the scene of bb!din being pulled up to safety by the mandalorian in the flashback, which seems Very Intentional

I Extremely Do Not Trust Her in the larger scale tho. I think it’s important that din knows now that he was raised in a very specific offshoot of the mandalorians ant that there’s some Stuff he hasn’t been told, but I also think it’s crucial to remember that her pov is not unbiased either and she, in fact, already has an established tendency to selectively share information with him to manipulate him into fulfilling her goals. (which he realizes because he keeps saying ‘that is not my mission, my mission is the child’ and I could not love him more). hell, I’m not sure exactly how ‘the children of the watch’ were positioned within death watch, but she was fucking death watch too for the longest time! and she hardly left for particularly noble reasons, she just didn’t like maul! she already lost mandalore like twice, do we just have to trust that third time’s the charm or what!

she lied to him about the scope of the mission to force him into a position to do what she wanted (fully knowing he’s responsible for a child!!) and she called that ‘the way’ just as easily as the thing about not letting his bravery be forgotten! big red warning lights, NO! I think the thing is that din is having to find his own ‘way’ of being mandalorian (/how does one be a person exactly help?? relatable content, and he’ll get there in the end I’m sure he’s so good), but her way is no less fucked up to me than the children of the watch from what we’ve seen so far. she’s good at killing imperials though which is of course a mark in her favour

(considering that the episode gives her the epithet ‘the heiress’... yeah that’s probably a hint that she’s loyal first and foremost to her entitlement, getting the position she considers hers by right of inheritance. guess we’ll see if the text agrees with her)

- ‘mandalorians are stronger together’ yeah that’s probably why the cosmic balance makes sure they’re mostly engaged in being at each other’s throats lol

- so I might be feeling kind of sketch about these guys but on the other hand... when that one lady saved the baby and then promptly took off her helmet to reveal she looks like t h i s ?

you better BELIEVE I was ready to fall down on one knee and propose right then and there holy shit

- ...wow if he didn’t have the jet pack din probably would have just sunk like a rock and drowned there huh 😨 that armour’s pretty heavy, turns out

- in happier news: din has become so good at reading what the child is expressing and responding/labeling the feeling for him! that’s so important to his development! ‘I know you’re hungry’ and both telling and showing him there’s a solution! still a bit of an issue that he thinks he can inform the baby of things like it’s a reasoned adult and have it understand, but we’re getting there we’re getting there lol

- that poor lady guiding them in for landing and sounding more and more worried fhkasjdlhfkjsdlahf (and he fucking TURNS OFF THE RADIO or whatever he’s using to talk to her through sdkfhaksdfhjs he takes a precious split second just to cut her off asfdjhaslkdfsdfhsda I love my salty dad)

- when the fisherman asshole tells mando he knows where to find more of his people there’s the tinkling bell sound in the background music, I think it’s meant to convey almost childlike longing for belonging and connection, for finding someone who’ll know what to do?

- when they took off their helmets and baby looked up at din like ‘???dad what the fuck? can you do that???’. (or like he just sensed his father taking a shitload of psychic damage all in one go)

- the way din didn’t start breathing again until they got the baby up from the water and he had him in his arms... the way he held him... sladfhasdklfhsjakdhfjsakldhfsakjldhfsjkadhfjaskdhfskajdhfjsdakhfslakhfskladhfsakljdhfjskadlhfkjsld

that whole scene was like a nightmare, so desperately unpleasant, in a way it mirrors the way the mandalorians have been hunted down and pummeled these last few generations, this must sort of be what it feels like to him subconsciously

- din isn’t particularly inflexible as a person, after the initial kneejerk rejection he did listen to what they said and is carefully considering it (he did say ‘this is the way’ back at the end!)

- the baby’s babbling when he wakes up and looks around in the beginning sounds half like ‘baba?’ and I almost had a heart attack

- loved how greasy and awful and dumb all the empire dudes were (and the comedy on board the ship too it was good for me)

- the boob plates huh. shit they’ve shown with the armorer that they don’t have to do that in any way shape or form and they still brought the boob plates back :/ I guess it’s so they match up with the rebels/clone wars look, evoking that ~*era*~ and everything, but I don’t have to like it lol

- I feel so validated in my theory that the razor crest is symbolic of din’s sense of self (now with beautifully added commentary!) after this haha (and also so so scared now they might be ditching it for a new ship eventually). it’s in pieces, his world view is going to pieces and can’t be patched together the way it was before, from what he knows he’s about to deliver the baby to someone else who’ll understand/love/deserve him better (I do think that feeling is still in him) and he doesn’t even have the certainty of the code anymore to fill the void. oh buddy.

the discomfort I felt when we got back into the cockpit -- into where it’s supposed to be familiar and safe! -- and saw all the ocean junk lying around, making it feel weird and changed and dirty (it probably smells like rotten seaweed in there now :( no likey)... I mean it was also very funny to see the pilot’s chair held together with a literal fishing net, but please favreau leave my dad’s car/ego alooooone

- baby laughing his little bum off at din catching the small sea monster before it got him and then munching it......... the ‘there’s nothing in this world my dad can’t fix’ safe energy.......... I’m so scared we’re coming up on something din can’t fix

- knitwear in star wars: I didn’t know I wanted it, but I am ELATED with having been given it

- moff gideon’s amazing evil voice... back in our ears, in our hearts, I gleefully hate him

- at least din’s armour is clean again after that (awful) swim? one must appreciate some silver linings along the way I suppose

- din goes straight for the main pilot’s seat once they get the imperial out of it, so he must feel really secure that he’s probably the best man for the job; he is genuinely a good pilot! (and after this I am wondering even MORE who taught him. who raised you within the mandos din??)

- even while everything is new and scary and falling apart we can live safe in the knowledge that at least frog lady and frog husband had a good day and will have a good and happy frog life together with their frog children

couple goals tbh

(I don’t necessarily know how it works for frog people but I uh. guess they got busy quickly huh hahaha good thing mando didn’t turn up again until later)

#star wars #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian meta #I've mostly seen people love this episode so I feel a bit like a buzzkill about mostly being 'meh' about it but what can you do lol #I actively disliked a lot of the clone wars mando stuff so I'm biased I suppose

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morphinethevaccine · 4 years

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Dazai and Chuuya’s reaction to finding out their sister is dating their former partner

aide-mémoire: Dazai and Chuuya’s reaction to their sister revealing to them she’s dating their former partner. You can find the Astushi and Akutagawa version of this post here, where ‘partner’ is switched for rival.

Two words: whiny and dramatic. Chuuya Nakahara? With his sister? Of all the men in Yokohama you could have ended up with? Please, someone say it isn't so. Dazai is going to act as though you just relayed to him something utterly horrific, like proof existence is a social construct and therefore suicide isn’t physically possible.

Considering its Dazai, he already knew, or at least suspected there was something between you and his former partner. Even if he did figure it out beforehand, that’s not going to stop him from acting devastated and pondering aloud how you could wound him so by waiting to tell him of this tragedy (at this point, the appropriate response is to clunk him on the head and tell him to cut the theatrics.)

Expect to hear a barrage of unflattering commentary about Chuuya, proceeded by a list of reasons why he’s the last person in the world you should be dating.

Some of them might make sense (you wouldn’t want to increase your proximity to the mafia, would you?), but the majority will just be plain petty and mean-spirited ("Couldn't you have at least picked someone tall enough to see over the kitchen counter?" "Osamu, that isn’t an actual reason."). Chuuya’s not good enough for his sister. He probably groans and tell you to dump him, please. He wants you to be happy, yes, but God, he can't stand the thought of his sister dating Chuuya.

Isn’t going to keep you two apart if you insist on dating him, but can get real annoying. Often manages to show up wherever you two are. Doesn't matter how secret you've kept your plans. Dazai will find out and he will be there, nonchalant no matter how much you eye him with suspicion.

"...Don't you have to be at work?" "Oh, Kunikida gave me the day off." (This is a lie, for he did not—just stop by the ADA after your date with Chuuya to confirm it with a very livid Kunikida.)

Tends to pop up in your place of residence uninvited, when you just so happen to inviting Chuuya over. Or calls you at inopportune moments for the silliest of reasons. Do not be surprised if while Chuuya is leaning in for a kiss your phone rings for the fifth time that night, just so Dazai can ask if you know where the sock he left on his nightstand is.

You know the trope of two people having dinner together and an unwanted third person comes and pulls up a chair? That’s Dazai. Only he’s going to act as though Chuuya isn’t even there and only talk to you, which, surprisingly, seems to make Chuuya angrier than if he had actually acknowledged him.

Or, halfway through Chuuya’s threats for him to screw off, gasp in fake surprise as though he just now noticed him, insisting he hadn’t seen Chuuya there, with him being so small and all. Dazai does not let Chuuya forget the fact he’s dating his sister: it provides Dazai with more reasons to tease him.

“My sister happens to be an absolute beauty. At least you don’t have bad taste in everything, Chuuya~” “Why you—!”

Despite his antics, Dazai knows his ex-partner well and doesn’t doubt Chuuya has pure intentions. Seeing how you blossom, and how satisfied you are with the relationship, he’ll eventually lighten up on being a bother on your end of it. Chuuya, however, will remain fair game.

No. Just no. Please tell him you've got a questionable sense of humor and it was just a poor taste joke, because Chuuya is absolutely vexed. While his anger is undoubtedly directed at Dazai, who he recognizes as having a strong manipulative streak, he's also going to be a little annoyed with you because what the actual fuck are you thinking? Did you hit your head on something? Surely you can’t possibly like Dazai... can you?

Chuuya doesn’t rule out the likelihood Dazai sought you out as a way to get under his skin. He doesn't have the fullest trust in Dazai to not screw with your feelings or put you in uncomfortable situations.

In short: Chuuya’s not happy, and twice as bothered if you actually seem genuinely into Dazai. He's not as worried about you being in physical danger as he is about you getting your heart broken. Dazai's got a history, and Chuuya of all people knows this. Nor does he trust Dazai’s ends justify the means tendencies.

He’ll be a little exasperated, telling you, “If you were that desperate I could have gotten someone to take you out every once in a while. Anyone is a better option than that guy.”

While he definitely wants to limit your involvement with the Mafia—if he had to choose, he’d much rather rope a subordinate of his into taking you out when you desire, seeing as they would be someone he could better keep tabs on and bully.

Chuuya doesn’t mind you being mad at him if it's for your own good, but he’s quick to realize barring you from seeing Dazai won’t stop you from doing it. You’re mature enough to make your own decisions, and if you’re firm on seeing him, the most he can do is seethe (and... threaten Dazai’s life.)

And besides, what is he supposed to do? Lock you in your room? If you're passionate about your decision, there’s not much more he can do about it but, at the very least, use his influence in the Mafia to make sure you’re at least physically safe at all times.

Due to the fact Dazai isn’t above rubbing the fact he’s dating you in Chuuya’s face, for your brother’s sake, avoid situations where they might encounter each other. It’ll be unavoidable at times, with Dazai inviting you to places he knows Chuuya will be—and Dazai not being forthcoming to you with his reasoning for choosing those places—because he enjoys the ticked off, bothered expression Chuuya has when he sees the both of you out together, holding hands or being affectionate.

Knowing Chuuya is less inclined to respond to confrontation with you around—clearly figuring the sight of him attempting to beat the crap out of your significant other would upset you—Dazai will be more smug than usual.

For you, Chuuya will bear encounters with gritted teeth and obvious irritation, making sure to pull Dazai to the side before the both of you depart, muttering, "Just you wait. If you mess this up, I will get you."

If you still insist on seeing Dazai in spite of his warnings, best believe he regularly tells you he’s willing to kick Dazai’s ass any day of the week if you request, and keeps an eye out for how things develop. If Dazai makes it clear he's serious about you, with time, Chuuya will gradually relent on his opposition, though not without a cursory threat of "Break her heart and I break every bone in your body, asshole." And he's more than willing to make good on that.

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leapyearkisses · 3 years

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Director’s Cut Commentary - Orbs Are Bad News Part 2

Second part of me blathering my thoughts all over this old story per the request of a very nice anon! I am still sleep-deprived, so yay~ Sorry, this commentary is probably way less interesting, since this part is just the sexy stuff, but if you have any particular questions, please send me another ask!

Happy to do any of my stories or just answer asks, whatever. I clearly enjoy reading myself talk XD

Comments in bold below the cut! This part is NSFW. Well, it’s all kinky but there’s also sex.

I forgot to mention this in Part 1, but the title of this story is because the homebrew campaign I ran for my friends involved magical evil crystal orbs. Hence they are bad news.

"Are you ever going to stop sneezing?" Remembrance asked. At the same time, Cordes said, "One thousand blessings, Llewellyn, one for each." The two of them were several yards ahead on the road, and only Cordes was looking back over his shoulder. Right now, the four party members were the only travelers on this particular stretch, although as they got closer to civilization, they'd started to pass the odd wanderer, farmers with wagons, even a merchant or two. The woods here were broken up periodically by stretches of arable land, clear-cut several decades ago and now waving with wheat, flax, or various vegetable leaves. The fields were golden in the late sun. Their shadows stretched behind them like taffy, rippling on the cobblestones. The day was vanishing quickly, and Gerrit could sense his companions' impatience to move on even as he stopped again himself, drawing out his handkerchief in a now very familiar motion.

Stick your people in a world. That’s my advice. Don’t have them just floating around in a no man’s land of generic scenery. (Also why I like period/historical snzarios and fantasy stuff, because reading about plain people in an apartment somewhere is boring to me.)

Llewellyn, for his part, could not answer them, face buried in his elbow as he ducked with another reluctant outburst. "Hahktschiu! Hahh- happtsch!"

"Bless," said Gerrit, and he stepped in front of the elf to shield him marginally from view. He laid one warm hand on the back of Llewellyn's neck and lifted the handkerchief with the other, capturing the next sneeze in the flannel folds. He settled his fingers firmly around Llewellyn's nose.

This was an arrangement that had been born out of necessity three days ago when the party had raided a bandit camp's plundered stores. Along with a good stash of gold and gems, they'd found a blue crystal orb, cursed perhaps, that had summarily become attached to both of Llewellyn's hands, rendering the sorcerer unable to do most anything... including take care of his cold on his own.

On the last episode of Orbs Are Bad News...

Llewellyn blew his nose into the handkerchief, wetting the cloth and dampening Gerrit's fingers through it. Originally quite opposed to such a display outside of the most private circumstances, the elf had been forced to put his pride aside and let Gerrit help him. His fever had abated the previous day, but the frequency of his sneezing had increased, as if his body was insistent now on ridding itself of whatever illness remained. It was a horrific prospect to Llewellyn to catch the resulting mess every time in the sleeve of his robes... so he suffered Gerrit to hold the handkerchief, even though they were walking along the road where any might see them.

Despite some initial teasing, Remembrance and Cordes had quickly grown accustomed to the practice and now cared not at all, except to complain. "We're going to have to camp again," grumbled Remembrance. "Five miles from Veigh and we're going to be stuck without a bath!"

Is five miles a realistic figure here? No fucking clue! I frequently engage in excessive and specific research for my stories, but I didn’t look up how long one might hike for in D&D. Oh well.

"Is there anything I could do for you?" Cordes asked, somewhat exasperated. The priest had made several herbal concoctions for Llewellyn over the past few days, but none had helped the elf's nose much. Cordes's specialty was unfortunately not the curing of disease but the mending of bones and flesh.

I will take any opportunity to make up an excuse as to why the snz cannot be contained. You’re welcome lol

"Ndo," Llewellyn growled, as fed up as the rest of them. "I'm beyond heh- help. Hngtschiu!"

"Bless you, arimelda," said Gerrit, trying to keep his voice even. He shifted the handkerchief so that Llewellyn could have a drier spot, trying to ignore a glimpse of slickness on the elf's face. "Remembrance, Cordes, why don't the two of you go on ahead? Find an inn, get a room, take a bath, whatever you want. It might be prudent also to send a message ahead to the Mages Guild about the orb. Will you do that? Llewellyn and I will join you when we arrive."

An elvish word appears! I researched this but not walking.

Cordes nodded. "Yes, I'll draft a letter as soon as- Hey!" Remembrance had grabbed his arm and was rushing ahead already.

"Let's go, man!" she said. "Everyone loves a damn priest; you're my ticket to a good room, so may your god help you if you dawdle." Her pointed tail swished as she practically jogged down the road. Cordes spluttered but could no more stand up to her as to a tornado, so off they went. It was a remarkably short time before the two of them were out of earshot, disappearing around a bend.

And again, removed so that the main characters can bang, lol.

Gerrit sighed but turned his attention back to Llewellyn, who was blowing his nose again. The handkerchief was running out of clean corners this late in the day, but the elf leaned back this time when he was finished. "All set?" Gerrit asked.

"Yes." Llewellyn rubbed his eyes on his upper arm, wiping away a spare tear from the effort. "...My apologies." He cleared his throat, refusing to meet Gerrit's gaze. "We may arrive after dark."

"You're ill," said Gerrit, trying to fold the flannel in a way as to avoid his pocket getting wet. "We'd move faster if you let me carry y-"

"No."

"Then I don't mind taking a more leisurely pace." Gerrit smiled. Even after everything, Llewellyn was stubborn. Honestly, since they weren't really in a rush, he didn't really care when they reached Veigh; they'd only detoured here to try and remove the orb. If Llewellyn, the most inconvenienced, didn't want to give up his pride and piggyback on... well, Gerrit found his noble hauteur inexplicably cute.

Me too, buddy. Don’t worry, you can carry your elf later.

He also wasn't in a particular hurry because it was awfully uncomfortable to make any sort of time with his arousal pressed flush to his thigh.

A reminder that sex is usually going to be involved in my stories. The snz is not enough by itself.

Llewellyn coughed into his elbow and then started walking again. Gerrit had pulled back his hood for him in the morning and braided his hair, and the crown of plaits caught the afternoon sunlight like an obsidian. Gerrit tried not to let his eyes linger on the sorcerer's pale nape. Or any other part of him. He and Llewellyn had been travelling together for close to three years, working for their current patron in the capital, and in that time Gerrit had felt himself growing closer to the elf. Wanting to be closer, anyway.

Llewellyn shot a glance at him and caught him looking. Gerrit flushed and turned his gaze back ahead to the road.

"You've been very accommodating during all of this," the elf said, tone carefully neutral.

Gerrit shrugged. "It doesn't bear mentioning. We're comrades."

"Comrades," Llewellyn repeated, an edge to his voice that Gerrit couldn't quite place. "Is that all it is?" He kicked a stick that had fallen to the cobblestones, sending it into the brush. Somewhere to the right, bumblebees droned over a meadow.

Llewellyn is kind of a asshole and not super great at communicating with any level of affection, although he does get better.

Gerrit swallowed. "Yes? You and I, we've helped each other before. I consider you to be a steadfast companion." Eyes on the road. Eyes on the dappled play of shadowed leaves and light on the ground. "Why do you ask?"

"So shy," Llewellyn exclaimed, a tad mockingly. "You've never been shy about taking me to bed, Gerrit." Despite his short height, the elf seemed to find it easy to look down his nose at the much taller fighter. "Has something changed?"

Height difference is also personally sacred to me.

"Changed?" Eyes on the road.

Llewellyn stopped walking. "You called me 'arimelda.' 'Dearest.' Did you think I wouldn't hear you over my sneezing?" He couldn't cross his arms with his hands trapped by the orb, but the set of his jaw was determined and his firm brows were arched. "I wasn't so distracted then as you seem to have thought."

Gerrit shoved his hands in his pockets. He stopped walking but didn't turn. "Apparently not," he muttered. "Look, we can set it aside. Doesn't have to mean anything – doesn't have to change anything. I know a highborn elf like you wouldn't consider an official relationship with a half-elven bastard, and I've known that from the start. For my whole life. So... I care about you. But it can just be as comrades, or whatever you want it to be." Llewellyn was quiet, and after a long minute, Gerrit did turn on his heel, desperate to know what kind of reaction he'd provoked.

The angst of the half-elven existence! Gerrit is a very typical half-elf in terms of D&D characterization, lol. Despite that, I do find these different-lifestyle pairings interesting, so they keep happening, cliche or not. There is a definite pathos in the elf/human relationship because of the different lifespans, of course - most famously depicted through Arwen and Aragorn, probably, although he’s not the exactly typical human. Anyway, it kind of varies how people like to determine elven and half-elven lifespans in D&D depending on the PHB and your DM’s weary forbearance lol, but Gerrit and Llewellyn will expect to live similar lengths because I’m a sap.

He saw Llewellyn standing with his eyes closed and head titled back, lips parted. The elf's nostrils flared as he gasped.

"Are you going to sneeze again??" Gerrit asked. He threw up his hands, then went for his handkerchief once more. They did have an arrangement.

He strode back over to Llewellyn's side and tucked the cloth around his nose again, thumb and forefinger just resting on the elf's nostrils. He started to rub Llewellyn's back. "You have the worst timing, you know? Here I am, spilling my heart to you and everything."

I laughed writing this part, too. You can’t always let things just be angst.

"Sh-hhuh-t up, I jh- just nih-" Llewellyn gasped again and gave in; he had no other choice. "Hahktscht!" He moaned and pressed closer into the handkerchief, thick congestion only aggravating the itch that remained inside. "Hkktschtt! Hngtscht! Hahh- ah-- ankcxttschiu!"

That sure is a bunch of letters crammed together!

"Easy... it's okay." Gerrit massaged Llewellyn’s nose, tried to soothe the irritation. He guided Llewellyn to the side of the road, and, in a moment of calm, settled him to sit on the grassy bank. He followed, kneeling at the elf's side. Llewellyn was tearing up again and his nose was twitching against the pads of Gerrit's fingers. Gerrit felt electric all over. He found himself wishing the handkerchief was gone so that he might touch the soft, heated skin of Llewellyn's septum, coax the elf to relax and loose his tension, sneeze into Gerrit's palm. The mess didn't bother him; none of it bothered him. He was supremely unbothered. His cock was almost painfully hard.

It took several more minutes punctuated with more urgent expulsions before Llewellyn seemed to trust himself to speak. His eyes were wet with unshed tears, eyelids tender and reddened. His nose was brightly ruddy, running to chapped. He had to take a shaky breath, collecting his thoughts. "Gerrit."

I’m a very visual writer. This kink is extremely visually-based for me. I wish I could draw as well as I want to so I could depict these scenes how I imagine them, but eh.

"Yes?" Gerrit lowered the handkerchief, gently pinching as he did to clear any lingering moisture. He wasn't ready to hear a rejection, nor did he feel particularly ready for a lecture or a tirade or even a logical exploration of why a relationship was a bad idea. He wanted, if possible, to keep walking to Veigh, side by side, listening to the bees and dragonflies and songbirds settling in for the evening, feeling the light breeze on his face, replete with the scents of summer.

"Kiss me."

Gerrit blinked, mental caravan bunching to a halt. "What?"

i am so funny omg

Llewellyn nudged him in the chest with the orb. "Kiss me. You're all worked up." He cleared his throat. "And judging by the state of you, you're not put off by my cold. So?" He tilted his head to the side, gently, closed his eyes. "I want you to kiss me."

An example of the B character not really forcing the admitting of the fetish but just kind of not caring. That is also okay, and I think it’s normal. People don’t just admit to all their kinks immediately upon entering a relationship.

Baffled, but feeling as though maybe all was not lost, Gerrit obliged, pressing their lips together. His own eyes slid closed and he cupped Llewellyn's cheek, deepening the kiss, touching their tongues together, trying to convey how he felt. Whatever had changed. The kiss lasted for too short a time; Llewellyn broke away to breathe, eyes half-lidded, but he didn't lean away.

I’ve never kissed anyone, but I consume media. I feel like I am pretty good at depicting things regardless of experience.

"I'm not going to dismiss you out of hand," he said. "You or your feelings. But I would ask for some time to think." He looked up through his lashes. "Are you feeling better?"

Another thing I like in romance, even in kink short stories like this, is a more realistic portrayal of the confession than just “It was obviously meant to be~”

Gerrit could feel his pulse in every extremity. "Not really," he managed, and he kissed Llewellyn again, this time sliding one hand under the elf's head and one at his hip and pressing him back to lay in the grass. He moaned in his throat as Llewellyn kissed back, and when they had to break for breath, he started to kiss at Llewellyn's forehead, jaw, throat, wherever he could touch skin. His hands roamed over the elf's body, smoothing over hip and thigh and belly until he could start to undo the buttons on Llewellyn's close-cut robes.

"Gerrit," gasped Llewellyn. He moved the orb between them, jamming it into Gerrit's sternum. "You are not going to sleep with me on the side of the damn road! Get ahold of yourself!"

He has standards!

Gerrit growled at the quick pain in his chest, then shook his head and leaned back. He flushed deeply and pulled his hands away. "Oh. Oh, fuck, sorry. I-"

"Pick me up." Llewellyn lifted his arms.

"What??" Gerrit's brain was having a hard time keeping up at the moment, all of his blood being elsewhere.

"There was a thicker copse of trees back about thirty feet, on the left." Llewellyn waved the orb at him. "Pick me up. We can lay down there."

His standards are NOT that high! But he does have them!

So. So Gerrit ducked his head into the circle of Llewellyn’s arms and picked him up, holding him securely and setting off down the road again, back the way they’d come. The elf was right; there, about twenty feet back from the bank, was a thick copse of pines, all grown together with wild geranium and maidenhead ferns. Gerrit pushed through, shoulder first. Despite its proximity to the thoroughfare, the inside of the stand was quiet and shielded completely from view. This would do nicely.

Told you you’d get to carry him soon.

He set Llewellyn back on his feet and made short work of undressing him, first freeing the sorcerer from his pouches and bags, then undoing the silver buttons on his robe from his collarbone to his crotch. The rich fabric fell open appealingly. Next, Gerrit freed the elf from his boots and leggings. A long white shirt, woven from the finest of elven angora, still covered him, but Gerrit pushed the fabric up over Llewellyn’s belly, leaning in to kiss the elf again and touching him intimately.

Llewellyn moaned and nudged Gerrit’s hip with the orb. “Now you,” he said. “I want to see your body.”

Gerrit complied, making quick time shedding his cloak, pack, leather armor, breeches, boots. Two daggers, two short swords, caltrops, a bow and quiver, a glaive, and a spiked whip followed. He pushed them to the side as Llewellyn rolled his eyes.

This is another funny trope lol, like when a hero or assassin or someone has to go through airport security and the metal detector keeps beeping because they’re carrying 18 knives on their person. Fighters are proficient in every weapon, so why not have one of everything?

"You can't possibly have a use for all of those," the elf said, and then Gerrit captured his mouth again.

He laid Llewellyn down on the soft carpet of pine needles, using his cloak to cover the ground and double as a makeshift pillow. The elf was beautiful in the shifting shade, skin flawless. He had the orb resting on his chest and it glowed intermittently in the inconstant sunlight. The gold chain netting that encapsulated both the orb and Llewellyn's fine-boned hands glimmered. "You know," said Gerrit, smoothing a hand down Llewellyn's bare thigh. "You'd look pretty good bound up in gold chain."

"This isn't enough for you?" He scoffed.

Gerrit laughed. "It would be fun to tease you. I love it when you fuss at me. So cute." He dodged Llewellyn's elbow and settled down on his stomach, hooked one of Llewellyn's legs over his shoulder, and nuzzled the base of the elf's cock. "Ready, arimelda?" His own cock was under him, pressed to his stomach in the confines of his shirt. He could feel his pulse in the head of it, quickening with the scent of his lover.

"Yes, you prick," sighed the elf, and he moaned when Gerrit started to kiss him and lave his skin. His fingers flexed on the orb, longing to wind into Gerrit's hair.

Licking is kind of thing, and I love writing about fellatio so. Yay~

Gerrit took Llewellyn into his mouth eagerly, fingers curled over the elf's thighs, fingertips pressing at the sensitive inner surface as he sucked and teased and swallowed. Like this, he could focus on Llewellyn's pleasure. The noises the usually stoic and prideful sorcerer was making were enough to make Gerrit moan, mouth full, and rock his hips. Nothing pleased Gerrit more than seeing Llewellyn undone, seeing the elf flushed and open and undone for him. And he shivered, all over, when he heard the elf's breath catch and his tone go wavery. He thought he could come from this, listening to Llewellyn sneeze while pleasuring him implacably with a heated, well-placed tongue.

This is also VERY IMPORTANT. Caretaking to the point of like, partner worship idk. It’s good!!

"Aa, aa, ahh- ih- Gerrit, I-" Llewellyn drew his knee up, curling, heel drawing along Gerrit's back. "I nih- need to snih- hh-"

Gerrit drew his head back, let Llewellyn's cock free for a moment. He didn't loosen his grip on the elf's legs, though, wound up and desirous. "Okay by me, melda, it's okay. Feel all right? Want me to stop?" He was breathless himself, had to force the words past the distraction of his arousal, but he would abide.

Consent is the sexiest thing.

"No, don't stop," Llewellyn groaned, then turned his head to the side. "Hpptscht! Hah- Haktschiu!"

"Bless, bless." Gerrit kissed Llewellyn's thigh tenderly, then nipped it, drew his tongue over the hurt, sucked a bruise to mark its place. He swallowed Llewellyn down again as the elf cried out in pleasure and then bent with another helpless burst. Gerrit wondered if he could make Llewellyn come simultaneously with a sneeze and what that might feel like. The fantasy set him alight. His abdomen was tight, his cock like a brand on his stomach. He redoubled his efforts.

Gerrit felt it first, when Llewellyn came, in the tightening of the elf's thighs and stomach, then tasted the salt of his release. His world narrowed down to taking it in, swallowing, milking with his mouth while Llewellyn cried out, going until the elf was pushing him away, keening, oversensitive. He didn't wait to lift Llewellyn then into his lap, cradling him with one arm and stroking himself with the other hand, desperate to come as well. Llewellyn pressed his face to the junction of Gerrit's neck and shoulder, tightly gripping the cloth of Gerrit's shirt as they rocked together. The elf's nose was gently wet and he was panting, sniffling. Gerrit came with a shout, holding him close, shaking with an overabundance of pleasure. He let go of his cock and embraced Llewellyn fully. He had enough presence of mind not to confess to anything, but he couldn't stop himself from murmuring how beautiful, how soft.

okay. o__o There’s only so much I can say about writing the porn lol. I write what I want to read.

Gradually the world came back. Birdsong, first, and the bees, the sounds of the trees swaying in the light breeze. The lingering heat of the day, dampened by the shade and the growing dusk. The musty smell of pine needles and the sharper hint of sap, the scents of sex, the pressure of Llewellyn astride his lap, the bite of uneven ground against his knees. Llewellyn was touching his cheek, trying to say something sweet, failing because of his cold again.

I tried to write this part so that it would not be immediately obvious to the reader, as it is not to the characters, that the orb is gone.

"Ah- hh- Ttschgktst!"

Wetness against his neck. Gerrit wound his fingers with Llewellyn's and kissed his jaw. "Bless you," he said. "I'll find you a healer in Veigh. We'll get you well again. Right after we free you from the orb." He laid his cheek against the back of Llewellyn's hand tenderly. Then he paused. "Wait." Straightening, he brought his hands between them. The right was laced with Llewellyn's left. "The orb is gone."

Llewellyn straightened also, looking down at his hands. His hands with no orb. He lifted them both, amazed. And then wiped his nose on his wrist, sighing in pleasure. Gerrit tried not to blush despite everything.

Me too, buddy.

"Where did it go?" he asked, looking past the elf's shoulder. "Why did it come off?"

"Who even cares at this point??" Llewellyn had let go of him and was stretching, running his palms over his body, touching his own arms and face and cock, finally able to move and feel again after three days of magical bondage. He wiggled his fingers and then clapped his palms together, raising a small flame with their parting. "I have my freedom back. I can cast spells again. I can-" He smiled brilliantly. "I can touch you, too." He dropped his hands suddenly to Gerrit's lap, nimbly taking Gerrit's cock between them.

Gerrit lost track of the orb immediately.

Me too, buddy.

---

It was dark indeed when the two of them made it to the inn in Veigh, but both were in high spirits. Gerrit had relinquished handkerchief duty back to Llewellyn with a great internal mourning, but he could always fantasize about this again in the future (he did, frequently), and he knew that Llewellyn, despite his best efforts, would catch more colds on the road (he did, more frequently than he would like).

I would love to play a fetish-friendly D&D campaign, but it would be way too embarrassing, probably. My current PC has allergies, but I have never mentioned them in-game and probably never will lol. God help me if my DM ever remembers that I wrote them into my character sheet.

Remembrance and Cordes had only been able to secure one room, it seemed, with two beds. Gerrit resigned himself, going up the stairs, to sleeping on the floor. But... it was apparent upon entering the small space that... well, their priest and thief had ended up taking up only one of the beds, together. Gerrit and Llewellyn traded glances.

"I don't think I want to ask," said Llewellyn, going for the free bed.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Gerrit replied, joining him.

The untold story, lol

In the morning, Cordes, with great dignity sprung from embarrassment (the cause of which he did not volunteer) informed them that a letter had not been sent to the Mages Guild yet. He was immensely relieved to find that one was no longer needed and quick to congratulate Llewellyn on his newly regained freedom. Remembrance just chuckled from the bed and took her time buckling her armor back on.

Already in Veigh, the party spent some time stocking up on medicines and liquefying some of the heavier treasures they'd liberated from the bandit camp. Gerrit sent a message on to their patron to expect them back in the capital in a couple of weeks, barring disaster. They purchased horses and set out, ready for the next adventure.

---

The orb lay still in the pine thicket, nestled like an egg among the ferns, waiting for the next hapless traveler.

Faust’s Orb of Rope Bondage. Make a Will saving throw [DC 15] upon touching the orb with any body part, wearing clothes or not. Upon a failure, the orb will find its way to adhere to the hand of the hapless adventurer. If both hands touch the orb, they will both be stuck. If two people fail the save, one of each of their hands will be stuck. The spell can be broken only if each attached party has an orgasm.

I GUESS

#lyk writes #snz #llewellyn mistwalker #gerrit truestride #gerwellyn #director's cut commentary exercise

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painted-crow · 3 years

Text

Submission time #13

From @noisywitchstranger

Hey! I'm fascinated by the sorting hat chats system and desperate to find out my true primary and secondary house. I thought maybe you could help me with that?

I did the test, got Slytherin Primary and Hufflepuff secondary, then read about them carefully and thought that maybe it’s not me, maybe it’s who I’d like to be (a Slytherin; I would not like to belong in Hufflepuff, to be honest).

Generally you don't end up belonging to a House you don't like. If you do, it usually means you're really Burned.

Picking answers saying “my top priority is family, what matters is only my closest people, I don’t care about the rest at all” felt really badass and I would certainly WANT these answers to be 100% true. I do believe that family and friends are very important and one should always put them first. But would I really put them first or is there something more important for me? I don’t think I would rush in to defend my loved ones, no doubt I would not have fierce outbursting emotions like “how dare you touch what’s mine”.

Houses are aspirational. Primaries are about what you feel would be the right thing to do, whether or not you actually end up doing it. If you're a Gryff primary and you ignore your gut feeling about what's morally right, do something else, and then feel guilty about it, that's still a Gryff primary reaction.

It seems possessive love is not about me. Not to mention that I just can’t be called fierce like a Slytherin. I want to be fierce but in fact I’m conflict-avoidant and peaceful because I don’t have much energy and desire to fight with people. I’d rather withdraw and wait for the situation to fix itself.

That's not a problem. You can be a low-key Slytherin who prioritizes specific people in quiet ways. You can be a Hufflepuff who doesn't like to have tons of people in their life, but still cares about humanity as a whole. You can be a Ravenclaw who isn't an obsessive fact-finder but still cares about having a consistent understanding of the world to use in making decisions.

I feel deeply but on the outside I’m very calm and reserved. I can't and don't want to SHOW my emotions but I like describing them verbally and talking about them. I'm really bad at living in the moment (as an infj, I'm always looking into the future and/or dreaming), and I'm paralyzed when I have to decide and act quickly. I NEED to think about the situation first and analyze everything.

That might be a Ravenclaw secondary hint, if you're a big planner.

I often get called nice and kind as I’m polite and trustworthy (that’s what my parents taught me, both of them are very honest and are really bad liars and so am I). Though sometimes I don’t mind cheating a little like skipping classes or writing off a test but I don’t believe I’d do cheat if it were about something more significant than school. I don’t consider myself to be kind. I would never volunteer, I don’t like children, they annoy me cause they’re loud and disturb my inner peace. I can be quite rude with them in fact.

This doesn't say a whole lot Sorting-wise, except that you might be a "no" for Hufflepuff secondary as well.

I don't want to help strangers, if I see someone's in need of help, I usually pass by thinking someone else is going to help. I don't like myself after that but I don’t have enough resources inside to be helpful, very often I’m just not in the mood to worry about other people’s troubles.

Yeah, you're probably not a Hufflepuff, period.

I have some principles like “do no harm” “don’t kill, steal, lie” “treat everyone with respect”, "don’t judge”(at least try to) and “help people when you can.” I've got them from parents, that's how I was raised - being polite and trustworthy, showing respect and kindness. I don't understand how it's possible to have internal principles (Gryffindor primary is described like that). We've all got our values from somewhere - society, family, books. These things shape a person, forcing him to adopt principles.

Gryffs' principles come from their experiences, too. If thrown into a totally new situation, it'll take them a while to get their bearings, and their intuition gets better as they get older. But they sort through their experiences differently than other primaries.

You might have a Ravenclaw primary model, which is pretty common for Slytherin primaries--they need something to use when their people aren't relevant to the situation.

I like people but from the distance, being in public drains me too much, I’m a loner and not that into community. I want to fit in though I don't think I can. I'm weird, withdrawn and I always, ALWAYS doubt myself. Self-doubt is what I see trying to figure myself out. I ask my loved ones "Am I courageous?", desiring to hear "yes, you are" but if I hear it, I immediately start thinking "no, I'm not, you're lying, you're saying what I wanted you to".

Hmm, so you don't trust the people around you. Perhaps you haven't found much of an inner circle of trustworthy people yet? If that idea sounds really appealing, you're probably a Slythie primary.

Sorry for the long speech. I'd really like to hear your thoughts about what could be my primary and secondary house, so please answer!

It's hard to get very definitive answers from this. You might be a Slytherin primary, you might consider that you have a Ravenclaw primary model, and you've offered just a hint of a Ravenclaw secondary... but there's nothing too firm to go on here.

If you wanted to reblog with two or three question/answer pairs from each of the primary and secondary sections of the official quiz, and offer your commentary on those, that might help. I know you said you've already taken it, but running this blog has taught me that people interpret those questions in VERY different ways.

Questions where you have a passionate "yes, definitely THIS answer" response, OR the ones that kind of make you mad because you can't decide/have vastly different answers depending on context, both make good candidates for this submission format. ;D

#sortinghatchats #submission #slytherin primary #ravenclaw primary model #ravenclaw secondary #paint speaks #q

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sandalaris · 4 years

Note

DVD Commentary: Lesson in Navigation for B! (I know you said you had some Seth POV you might do too, and I'd love to see that so much, so if you wanted to put some out there now! If not I can wait for it) and C. Uncle Eddie raising the boys headcanon please! And I still thinking about a good A, just to warn you 🤣

XD Thanks!

I’m gonna start with C so I can put B under a cut.

C. Send me the name of any fanfic I’ve written and I’ll give you my headcanons or a drabble about another character in that universe.

Uncle Eddie raising the boys!

He regrets not pushing them to stay in school longer. He all but assumed they were going into the same business as him and Ray, teaching them everything he knew and giving them to tools they needed not to get caught at an early age, and it wasn’t until an already dropped out Seth showed interest in possibly doing something else that he realized he should have made them both graduate, so they’d at least have options. (Richie may have shown other interests as well, but since it was stated in the first season that Richie’s the one who got Seth into being a career criminal and they seemed to have started fairly young, I’m mostly convinced Seth was the only one who wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted to do with his life.) It’s not a major regret or anything, and it all worked out in the end, but he does look back and think that he shouldn’t have let them close the door on other options until they were both sure.

Uncle Eddie never knew just how big of a bastard Ray was to his kids. Why would he? The guy was his partner, his brother in everything but blood, and they lived in different states. Sure, he knew the guy drank too much after his wife ran out on him and left him raising two boys alone, but he never saw any suspicious bruises during the few times he’d visit in person or heard him make any kind of real threat. He didn’t know, and he never learned. Maybe if he had he wouldn’t have filled the boys heads’ with stories about the Great Ray Gecko. Wouldn’t have told them repeatedly how much their old man was a legend and that they should be proud to be his sons. He thought he was doing right by his partner, right by the boys, giving them stories of the dad they loved and lost and painting their dad into this legend to be proud of.

Eddie mostly stopped pulling cons himself when the boys moved in with him. Its not that he couldn’t, they were old enough they didn’t need him constantly hovering, but he couldn’t shake the thought that if something went wrong there wouldn’t be anyone else to take them in, and if he’s honest with himself he’d always preferred the planning over the executing anyway. He still pulled the occasional score, he was just more selective in which ones he took on himself. He’d always been a planner, the mastermind behind the scenes, and it wasn’t uncommon for people to come to him to help hook them up with a crew or job. But before Seth and Richie, it was a part time gig, most of his plans made for him and his over offering them to others for a cut of the profit. The boys’ arrival changed that, although they never did learn how they were the turning point for him going into semi-retirement.

Seth was sort of desperate to prove himself worthy of being taken in by Eddie, (which had its own ups and downs) but Richie was fairly distant when they first moved in, not convinced that Uncle Eddie wasn’t just another version of their dad. It was Uncle Eddie that first started calling Richie a genius (Seth always said Richie was smart, but that was different, because Seth was his brother and they looked out for each other and sometimes they didn’t see the other clearly), who took in his ticks and eccentricities in stride and still praised his “big ass brain.” He found problems for Richie to solve to stave off boredom, and got him a library card and bought him books on whatever obscure topics caught his attention. He’ll never know it, but in his own small way Uncle Eddie undid so much of the damage Ray left behind, allowing Richie to open up and connect with people other than Seth.

B. Send me the name of any fanfic I’ve written and I’ll give you a drabble from the other half of the pair’s point of view.

This may or may not be edited by the time it gets posted.

Seth and Sonja talk in the hotel room after he catches her and Kate outside.

“You have a plan for after this?” she asks as he closes the door, perching on the edge of one of the beds (Kate’s bed) and leaning back on one hand.

“I-” he stops, because he doesn’t have an answer. Hadn’t really thought past each moment of next. “Something like that, yeah,” he answers finally on a sigh.

“You’re going to need one,” she says plainly, tilting her head and studying him in a way that doesn’t feel invasive, like she can peel back a layer of his skin and get a glimpse of what lies beneath. Not like Richie, not like Kate.

“You sound like you’ve done this before,” he says, looking away.

“Something like that, yeah,” she echoes, even though it wasn’t a question. Not really. “Enough to know that someone doesn’t get to where you were without a reason. Want to know my guess?”

“Enlighten me.”

“I think it’s about what happened between you and your brother."

The familiar anger flares up, mixing and masking that deep well of pain that likes to catch him off guard. The anger is easier, clenching his jaw and stealing his words, but not his breath. Doesn’t carve its way through his chest and twist his stomach.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“We split,” he all but snaps out.

“Never thought I’d see the day,” she says, not noticing or ignoring his reaction. “When the infamous Gecko Brothers would be no more.”

“Is there a point to this line of questioning?”

She rolls her eyes, but lets it go, allowing the silence to stretch and twist between them for a short moment.

“So,” she beings carefully, “I met your little friend.”

For a split second, Seth pictures the gunman, heart pounding in remembered fear renewing itself.

“You mean Kate?” he clarifies, relief warm in chest as his brain catches up with the facts.

“Yeah. Kate.” She says the name with a hard edge, nearly clipping the first syllable. Seth frowns, flashes of Kate’s crossed arms and hard jaw outside the door playing through his memory. “After the way you talked about her, I was expecting someone... older.” She says the words almost carefully, pushing forward until she rests her elbows on her knees, watching him steadily.

“Oh?” His arms cross over his chest, body going loose and tense all at once.

“I thought you were fucking her,” she says bluntly.

He stares, waiting a too long beat before saying blandly, “That’d be illegal.”

#asked and answered

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chinekousa · 5 years

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Matsumoto Rica Interview Translation

I’m still too hyped, so here you go. Matsumoto Rica interview with CoroCoro to commemorate Ash’s victory.

My personal highlight would be

“Was that a joke?” “Really? He’ll let Ash win!?”, I didn’t really believe him that time lol.

and

If you don’t cheer out for him, he’s going to lose again! lol

----------------------------------------------------------

Congratulation for the victory! Please tell us your reaction and what are you feeling right now!

Thank you very much! But I don’t think I can win on my own. It’s because I have my friends, classmates who keep cheering on for me, a lot of people rooting on me, and the pokemon that fought with all of their power for me that I can win. So, Thank you very much for everyone! is the feeling that fills up inside of me right now.

Everyone really went all out during the recording for the battle scene you see. It’s so passionate like “Whuoooo!!!” In the end I think I got the energy from everyone too.

So everyone went together for the battle recording?

Yep, everyone was there. Everyone was screaming when we went for extra desperate for our acting so I think it should be able to be felt even from the other side of the screen. Like, seriously. I was even told “stay back from the mic” numerous time due to how loud I was lol. Thanks to that my voice didn’t even came out the day after recording.

In the end, you think everyone is the MVP?

Exactly! Everyone is the MVP!

So, when did you actually knew that Ash was going to win?

Around the start of Alola League. The director said “This time, I want Ash to win no matter what!” and I was like “What? He’ll win!?”, that was when I knew it. Though I was like “Was that a joke?” “Really? He’ll let Ash win!?”, I didn’t really believe him that time lol.

Which match among the Pokemon League is your favorite? Even the past leagues would be fine!

What? There’s so much that’s going to be hard to choose, but from the current league, maybe VS Gladion? Ah, but Rowlet really did his best so there’s VS Hau too... it’s hard to choose only one. If I count the past league in, then VS Paul! Infernape VS Electivire!

We put that match for our CoroCoro Online polling the other time too! That match does seems to be high in list among pokemon anime fans!

Continuing, please tell us the best memories you made while acting for Ash for the past 22 years! I doesn’t have to be related to recording.

In the past, there were a project with the theme “Let’s fulfill everyone’s dream” at a pediatric ward. I was there to meet a boy who loves pokemon. But his condition worsened just before the appointed date. I was told I can’t meet him because he will be put on the intensive care unit. But even so I want to do something for him, so I recorded my voice.

I recorded about 1 minute of commentary, I even got Pikachu involved in this too, and sent it to him. By that time, the boy was already unable to wake up, but his mother let him keep hearing the recording, and then the boy finally woke up.

That time I thought, it was because I was able to work at this field that such thing was able to happen to me, and that I was really thankful of it. At the same time I realized that I have such amazing mission. You could say that my impression towards Ash has changed, or perhaps my respect for the franchise in general has raised.

That was such amazing story! When did that happened?

I think about 10 years milestone? I really think that I have such a splendid job. This voice acting job and anime in general have a direct impact towards children. And so I think since I got the chance to do this, I need to do it with this kind of mindset.

In the end the one who gave me the chance for me to stand at this place right now is the fans that was children. That’s why it was not simply as a thanks, but most parts of me wish to do something for those children.

That is such an important thing. If there’s a person that could do something, then I want to say just do it! Because if they was told “You can’t do it” that they won’t be able to do it. It was something like, if someone told you to “Come!” then you should be able to say “Okay, let’s go!”

Is that really okay? If I make this into an article, it may spread around everywhere

Hahahahaha that would be interesting! Just let it spread anywhere it would!

Then lastly, please give some message for our reader!

Even this time, I think Ash’s straightforwardness is something that won’t ever change. Even so with everyone he has meet and everything that has happened has let him grow little by little so he can step towards the next stage. So please do cheer out for him from now to.

Pokemon exist thanks to all of you. If you don’t cheer out for him, he’s going to lose again! lol

Thank you very much for the time!

Thank you very much!

#pokemon #pokemon anime #pokeani #rica matsumoto #Ash Ketchum #trns

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gandrewheadcannons · 5 years

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Drabble 1 (angst) (open ended)

I wrote a drabble that’s angsty like I’ve been recently.

Andrew doesn’t wish often for things. He prides himself on being reasonable. Pragmatic. He’s meticulously organized and often not caught up in frivolous thoughts that would have him desiring for something he could just create with a well-thought-out plan to achieve. He lived very much by the notion of ‘if you want it, go for it’ and liked that about himself. It kept him grounded, kept him level headed. Made it so he could breathe easier when he was anxious. If he stayed far away from wishing then he had less to add to his mix of doubt and insecurities. But right now, very out of character, he found himself sitting alone at two o’clock in the morning wishing.

Ryland had stopped filming hours ago and Shane had retreated to the editing room to work. Andrew had declined working in the same room as him feeling squicked by the copious amount of lip gloss Shane had been smearing across his mouth. He was left to his own devices in the spare bedroom when a picture had appeared across his twitter feed that had stopped him in his tracks. It was an old photo of him and Garrett, something someone had screen grabbed from a video where Garrett’s eyes are twinkling and Andrew’s got a soft smile as he stares at the boy. The person had tagged them both and added a message of ‘soft bois’ with a bunch of emoji hearts. It had been shared and liked a good number of times but it wasn’t the picture itself that had him stopping. He’d seen it so many times that at this point it didn’t surprise him to see the way he was watching Garrett in it.

No, what had him stopping was the top tweet underneath it that read, ‘Im sad they don’t seem to hang anymore…used to ship but now I hope Garrett finds people who can appreciate him. The squad definitely doesn’t’ That tweet had almost as many likes as the original, a list of people agreeing. He hesitates to click the profile and then decides against it, exiting Twitter completely and then opening his messages and scrolling to find the conversation with Garrett. It had been a few weeks since they’d texted and Andrew feels a bubble of guilt building in his stomach fluttering amidst something else that Andrew realizes is desire. He misses Garrett. He could easily admit that to anyone who asked. He didn’t to see him as much now that Shane had moved and Andrew spent the majority of his time here. But what he wasn’t sure that he was so readily able to admit would be the fact that, even though it’s just a brief moment, he wishes more than anything that Garrett was there with him.

Looking around the guest room it feels lonely and isolating with the glow of his phone and computer screen the only lights. Biting the corner of his thumb nail he hesitates as he figures out what to send. It was late and though he knew Garrett was awake he found himself, for one of the first times in their friendship, unsure of how to start a conversation with him. Thinking back to the horoscope Shane had read him he blushes despite being alone with his intrusive thoughts. He knew he adored Garrett. Had always done so from the moment they’d met in person and Garrett had shared his cold brew and spoke excitedly about a puppy he’d seen on the way to meet him.

Garrett was his go to guy for any anxieties he might have, his favorite person to get lost with in conversations, but he seemed so far away as of late. He hadn’t wanted to be a part of the series this time. Had explained it softly to them back in February that he’d rather take time for himself and to be with his family. It had felt like a slow bandaid being pulled achingly from Andrew’s side; the comfort of laughter and ease not being present in the long days of filming for the past nine months. He was tired.

Bypassing the messaging all together he bites the bullet and hits the call button, the screen enlarging with buttons and ‘calling G’ scrolling across the top. He’s about ready to hang up and send an apology text with each uwhen all of a sudden Garrett picks up. It’s loud in the background of wherever he is. Andrew hates that he doesn’t know.

“Hey!” Garrett’s voice shouts loudly. “Give me a minute, I’m trying to go outside.” There’s clinking of glasses and someone shouting as music suddenly blares and then it all fades into a quiet hum like something pulled from a movie. “Sorry!” Garrett sounds breathless and laughs a little. “It’s wild in there. What’s up? Are you okay?” His voice going from laughter to concern, the volume lowering into a normal speaking tone with Garrett’s quick pacing sprinkled into the tone.

“I’m good.” Andrew already feels the constricting in his chest lightening some. “Where are you?” A nervous laugh bubbling over and spilling between his lips as he says, “it’s like…way past a Garrett Watts approved party time.” Garrett lets out a manic laugh and Andrew finds himself craving to see the reaction in person.

“Oh I know! It’s so silly. I really did want to leave like three hours ago but now I’m kind of stuck because I got too drunk to drive back home.” Andrew can detect a hint of slurring to confirm the statement. A drunk Garrett was one of his favorite versions; overly tactile and honest with whoever he was with. Andrew could do with a hug.

“Are you okay? You want a ride?” Being forty minutes away was a stretch of an offer but Andrew found that he was up and walking towards his shoes. He’d drive it if it meant spending one night with Garrett.

“Oh Andrew that’s so sweet!” Garrett coos, “I’m really okay, it’s fine. You’re probably at Shane’s anyways?” Andrew hates that he’s so predictable now. Misses when he was only down the street.

“Yeah I am.” He sighs. From his window he can see one of the driveways with his car in it. “I don’t mind, Garrett. I can come.” He presses further. Garrett makes a booing sound and laughs again.

“It’s fine!” Then he drops his voice. “Actually, can I tell you something?” He trails off like he’s to giddy to contain the giggles that erupt. “It’s so crazy, Andrew. But oh!” He lets out another nervous laughter. “I kind of…maybe met someone.” He’s breathless, slurring together the last of his words into one quick session.

“What?” Andrew feels blank. Garrett had met someone. It wasn’t like this was different. Garrett had met so many people and Andrew had picked him up from countless of dates that hadn’t gone well but the last he’d heard; Garrett wasn’t interested in dating anyone. “Like…a someone?” His throat feels painfully scratchy like if he speaks any louder his hammering heart might claw its way up it and out through his mouth. Pitiful. The best way to describe himself in the moment.

“Yeah!” Garrett is whispering. “His name is Ron. We didn’t even meet through Tinder I just like… kept seeing him at the same diner as me at the same time and we ended up eating together a few times. I thought we were just friends but it turns out he thought we were on a few dates!” Garrett laughs. “I pretty much suck at this.” He admits but he doesn’t sound as despondent as he normally would with the statement. In fact, he sounds more amused.

“Wow.” He’s stilted in his commentary. The hopeful feeling that had warmed his body was slowly drained and replaced with something akin to regret. “How…uh.” He clears his throat annoyed that he feels like crying. “How long?” He wants Garrett to say a week. Wants him to say that he doesn’t think it’ll go anywhere.

“A few months,” Garrett says hastily. “I dunno. We aren’t like…it’s not super serious. But I really like him.” He’s enraptured as he says it.

Nine months of almost no time together save the odd weekday coffee now and then had Garrett in a relationship with someone for more than just a week. Andrew is definitely going to be sick.

“That’s great,” It isn’t. Nothing feels great. Andrew wants to hang up the phone. “Hey, actually, I have to go.” He tries to not let his disappointment seep through his gritted teeth. Garrett doesn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of his regret.

“Oh.” Garrett's disappointed. “Are you sure?” Andrew doesn’t want to. Wants to stay on the phone with him for hours. Wants to lay on his brown leather couch and watch an obscure western Garrett had found on Vimeo. Wants to drink English breakfast tea as they watch the sun rise because they’d stayed up too late make stupid videos he’d saved into a special file on his hard drive.

“Yeah man, I didn’t know you were out and stuff.” He doesn’t want to be that guy, unsure if he means the one who keeps a friend on the phone during a party or the one who is desperate for that friend to pity him enough to do it anyways. He’s not sure he cares that he’s both.

“I don’t mind, Andrew.” Garrett sounds surprisingly sober all of a sudden. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Andrew nods then remembers that Garrett can’t see him through the phone.

“Yeah.” He lets out a breath to loosen the constricting around his throat. Please stay with me threatens to pour out but he manages to keep it contained. They’re quiet.

“Megan Batoon get another boyfriend?” He knows Garrett is joking but it’s that comment that has him realizing why Garrett had gone and found someone knew. The slight under bite coupled with the reminder that Andrew wasn’t supposed to be interested in Garrett like that.

“No boyfriend.” He can’t bring the joke to life either. “Not her at least.” It falls flat. The noise from the background is completely gone now and Andrew wishes for the distraction of it back. He can hear Garrett’s breathing through the phone, heavy puffs like he’s starting up to say something then thinking better of it. Before Andrew can continue and apologize for whatever weird, standoffish twist their conversation had taken he hears someone calling Garrett’s name in the background. There’s a shuffle and then hushed tones before Garrett is back on the phone.

“Hey man.” He clicks his tongue disappointed. “I gotta go but maybe we can meet up for coffee sometime soon? Catch up.” He doesn’t sound like he had before. Sounds like he’s making an obligation to save whatever it is they have.

“Yeah.” Andrew wants so badly for that to happen and for them to climb back into each other’s space. “I really want to.” He knows it’s just a formality at this point. He only has a few weeks before the first episode drops. Coffee soon was looking like November if they both really tried.

“Cool! Yeah, that’d be good. Talk to you later,” Garrett doesn’t hang up quite yet, like he’s waiting. “Love you.” He tacks on as if he’s embarrassed to be saying it. It’s rushed.

“Love you.” Andrew’s slides out easily as if it was simple. A phrase both of them accustomed to saying. It shouldn’t be so hard. The phone goes quiet and when Andrew finally grows the will to pull it down from his ear it’s just his home screen. His heart sinks at the lack of Garrett.

Sadness envelops him like a blanket as he curls deep into the crevice of the bed with his hood pulled tightly up. Steering clear of Twitter he opens up Netflix on his phone and tries to fall asleep to an episode of The Office, Michael Scott’s antics soothing his mind. His dreams filled with images he can’t recall being real or not, Garrett’s name on the edge of his tongue; a sloshing wave of regret in his stomach. He makes a promise to himself then- no more wishing allowed, developing a plan to fix them before the year was up. It was what he did.

#gandrew #drabble 1 #angst drabble #open ended drabble #i might continue it if people wantedddd #i'm just in a mood lol #hope u enjoy ;)

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hogwartsfirebolt · 5 years

Text

IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THIS YET, WTF ARE YOU WAITING FOR: A FIC REC

The Kitchen Thieves (and the Kitchen Herself) - @potteresque-ire - 67k - Explicit

“In a deserted cottage miles away from Hogsmeade, two young spirits waited for a new owner to call the place home. One day, Auror Harry Potter bought the cottage. One evening, farm wizard Draco Malfoy showed up to spend the night with Harry...and steal a pepper shaker from the kitchen. Maybe Kate can tell you all about them? She’s the spirit who looks after the kitchen, and she’s got quite a bit to say…”

Thoughts under read more.

You must have already figured this out from both the title and that summary, but I still need to say it: this fic is extremely unique. Even though I was ready for it, I could never have expected the true magnitude of that statement. Anything, anything you can think of right now that you think is what makes this fic entirely different from any other, still won’t even begin to graze the ankles of what it truly is. Yes. That’s how much.

The landscape we fall into is heavy with emotion from the very beginning. The narrator, who kindly introduces herself and announces she’ll be the one to tell the story, is bubbly and has such a presence that she takes up the entire room, and how fitting, because we soon find out that, well, she sort of is the entire room.

Kate’s personality is that of an excitable teenager who is overflowing with emotions and enthusiasm, and it’s impossible not to fall in love with her, for her candor and mistakes and how full of LIFE she is. It was an absolute joy to be guided into this little world by her. It felt like she was sitting next to me and giving me a running commentary of something we were both witnessing.

But then, as the initial surprise of the unusual narrator passed, I began to notice another presence, a silent protagonist who is there in every moment: the magic. God, the magic. It’s so beautifully portrayed, so obviously created with patience and love and care. It took my breath away, how in touch it is with nature, how distinctive it is to each character and how well it fits their personalities. Whenever someone new walked into the scene, I held my breath, waiting to find out which element their magic resembled, and I was not once disappointed. And it’s not only that, but also the magic that gives life to house spirits, the explanation of what they are, their development and interactions. I had never read it like this before. It was possibly my favorite element in this story.

The characterizations are breathtaking as well. Harry, my beautiful boy, so damaged and hurt, so lovely and determined and fierce, so willing to look for the best in people, he is perfect here. Pie captured his essence and made him into the adult he was always set out to be, so incredibly in character that it feels like a natural progression of the things we learned about him in canon. And Draco, still stubborn, still a piece of work, still a little shit at times, but a boy who grew out of his fear and isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty if it means a better future.

Their collision is chaotic and inevitable, a mess from the very first second, but it is also honest and raw, and, without me noticing, it stole my heart. They had me rooting for them ardently, wishing with all my might that things would work out, that they would look past their stubborness and let themselves fit together like the puzzle pieces that they are, because I knew that, in each other, they would find a home, because their understanding of each other is so vibrant that it jumps right off the page, because they bring out the worst of each other, but they also bring out the best. There are tears in my eyes just from remembering that feeling. It is truly like no other, and Pie plays it like a violin, beautiful, subtle.

Now, the setting plays a huge part of this, of course. It is literally a character, but it goes beyond even that. The cottage is ALIVE. I close my eyes and I can see it, I can touch the walls and I can taste the air and smell the faint scent of an apple pie. I stood in that kitchen, I sat at that table, I lay on that floor. I stood in that kitchen.

There’s more details I want to mention, because they are amazing: this take on Harry’s job, the exploration of the Ministry’s motivations, the kind of articles they print about Harry (as well as the reasons behind them and Harry’s subsequent reaction), Harry’s self-destructive tendencies, Harry’s “Draco” eye, Kate’s very relatable feelings when she almost swooned by looking at these two, the mystery of Draco and his robberies and everything that happened to him at Malfoy Manor (breathtaking), Draco’s relationship with Kate and his job and the chickens and the Chickens, the rings, Brad, the glimpses of Elaine, Hermione and Ron who are brilliant, absolutely brilliant, but if I talked about everything that is wonderful about this story, I would end up copy pasting the entire 67,053 words because there isn’t a single thing that didn’t take my breath away.

Pie’s words made every feeling there is bloom inside of me; my heart ached for Harry, my sympathy was with Kate every step of the way, my arms wished they could hold Draco. I felt excitement and desperation and frustration and arousal, I felt happiness, devastation, and, in the end, I was only left with hope. Hope and love beyond anything I could even imagine. The ending filled me up beyond belief. Even now, as I try to recall all these feelings, I’ve had to stop and put my hands to my chest because I feel like I can’t hold everything inside of me.

I had not felt so moved by a story in a very long time.

Please, please give it a chance. It just might change something in you. I know it did for me. HERE’S ANOTHER LINK. If you read it and want to discuss, hit me up on DMs anytime ❤️ And MOST IMPORTANTLY: don’t forget to give Pie some love, I’m sure she put a big piece of herself into these words.

#drarry #drarry fic #drarry fic rec #drarry fic recs #ficrec #drarry fanfic #draco malfoy #harry potter #pie

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makeste · 5 years

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BnHA Chapter 164: Life or Death Battle

Previously on BnHA: The internship kids returned to the dorms and were greeted by their worried pals. Iida hemmed and hawed. Momo made some tea. Satou shoved an entire cake into Deku’s mouth. Ochako realized she wanted to save people in addition to earning money to ease her parents’ poverty. Sero and Kirishima showered Kirishima with affectionate concern. Bakugou quietly chilled on the couch pretending not to be worried. Kaminari slid over and called him “Kacchan” like the homeboy he is. It was all amazing. The next morning, Bakugou and Todoroki headed off to their provisional license course. All Might and Present Mic showed up to chaperone them, and we learned from All Might that Kurogiri was indeed captured by Gran Torino and Naomasa, but Giganto escaped after dealing some heavy damage. The group arrived at the training course location, and everyone’s windy fave Yoarashi greeted them along with Camie (the real one!) and fucking Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (Seiji). Also Endeavor was there to watch. And he’s going to have a private chat with All Might. Should be lots of fun, this.

Today on BnHA: Our best boys Bakugou, Shouto and Inasa (and Camie) begin the day’s training course. Endeavor cheers Shouto on from the stands and everyone is like “...” but then they notice All Might sitting next to him and they’re like “OH FUCK YEAH, ALL MIGHT.” Gang Orca walks out onto the floor, compares all of the kids to fish feces, and fucking yeets my three faves across the room. He then informs them that they lack heart, and thus he is assigning them a special trial. Enter a group of about 25 screaming elementary schoolers, plus their harried teacher who is constantly on the verge of tears. Baku, Shouto, Camie and Inasa are told that they’ll be in charge of them, and that to pass this test they’ll need to cooperate and move the children’s hearts. This is, of course, a recipe for perfect chaos, and to make things even more entertaining, Mic decides to do play-by-play commentary. Meanwhile, a surprisingly subdued Endeavor asks All Might exactly what it means to be “the Symbol of Peace.”

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 187 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

looks like the kids have changed into their hero costumes and are trudging towards wherever the course will be taking place

aww Inasa is aggressively trying to be friends

LIGHTEN UP GRUMPY GRUMP

also I’m kind of with Inasa on this one. sorry Shouto. I’ve only had cold soba noodles like once but I wasn’t that big a fan. but udon is the shit though

Shouto apparently feels very strongly about this

I honestly can’t tell if he’s just really particular about his food, or if he feels like Inasa is trying to sneak up a metaphor on him and he’s like NOPE, NOT HAPPENING. THIS ZARU SOBA IS NOT GIVING UDON THE TIME OF DAY

oh my god Inasa is literally saying “WE’RE GONNA BECOME BEST BUDS WHETHER YOU LIKE OR NOT”

did you hear that Shouto. WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT

that means it’s happening. because like. look at him. this big fluffy airbending teddy bear is not going to not let it happen

meanwhile Bakugou is watching and being creeped out. by their attempts at friendship? or something else?

MERAAAAAAAA

I’ve been having a bit of an insomniac phase myself. so I feel ya bro

also they’re in this gym that, surprisingly, actually looks like a normal gym?? although there’s a bunch of playground equipment in one corner which is odd

Mera says that so far they’ve been doing the training course with the ten of them, but today there will be an eleventh person joining them

so is that Camie then?

meanwhile All Might and Mic are entering the spectator area and looking for someplace to sit

Mic wants to sit near the front to see better, but All Might doesn’t want to stand out

well he is pretty famous. and not to mention that Endeavor’s still right there as well and I don’t know if they’ve had their chat yet orz

oh jesus

yep. wouldn’t want to distract anyone. definitely not looking to do that, nope

starting to see why Shouto was angsting so much over that text

so Endeavor is actually screaming encouragement at him, but in his obnoxious Endeavor way

I feel like. he’s actually trying. oddly enough. but he’s just. so terrible. in so many ways

oh snap I forgot all about this

yep. the guy that wouldn’t autograph your book and subsequently changed the course of your life by causing you to withdraw your application from U.A.

oh shit now All Might’s getting recognized too

I hope they cheer the fuck out of All Might and it’s like, who even fucking cares about Endeavor

hee

that’s Bakugou’s dad, you know. ever since chapter 120. and Deku’s dad too, obviously. Shouto he can be your dad too if you want. plenty of All Might to go around, and it’s not like your old man is doing such a bang up job

Shouto is literally saying “hmph” and even Bakugou is staring at him like “what’s this guy’s problem”

Mera’s telling everyone to calm down and pay attention to him again lol

and now real!Camie is properly introducing herself

ahhhh

so that’s the cover story Shiketsu came up with? or is that a story they’re telling the other kids? or does Camie herself genuinely believe this and no one actually knows she was briefly abducted and replaced by Toga?

and um. just to make sure. this is the real Camie though... right?

she’s acting differently enough that I think it is

Seiji is sitting with a Shiketsu teacher in the stands and they’re discussing it!

he says she’s “a complete and utter fool” and the teacher is gently correcting him and saying she’s “just bubbly”

so they did figure it out!

Seiji seems to actually be beating himself up for not realizing that she’d been replaced

(ETA: yeah, so rereading this, I’m getting some definite shipping pings from them now. Seiji’s clearly guilt-stricken about what happened to her, and clearly worried about her still. he didn’t attend any of the previous training sessions, based on Bakugou’s reaction, but he came along to this one now solely because Camie was going. he’s not going to let anything happen to her again. Seiji is, in fact, just a big ol’ softie you guys.)

the teacher is saying they need to make up for the absence of the Symbol of Peace immediately

I guess with this being the first time Shiketsu has been targeted, they’re finally realizing how serious this is too. U.A.’s been mixed up in this for a while, so they already know

heyyyyyy!

LOOK WHO’S BACK

he’s talking some shit about them, oooh

I assume he’s purposely trying to rile them up for whatever reason. probably because at least several of them are only here in the first place because of their poor anger management

everyone is instantly sobering up

lol Seiji

lmao

wow Gang is really laying it into them

ben·thos /’benTHäs/ (noun): the flora and fauna found on the bottom, or in the bottom sediments, of a sea, lake, or other body of water

did you just call my son a sea sponge. did you just compare them to fish poop

...

his feet

he just. flung him

is it weird that I really want to make this into an icon

...

is the whole rest of the chapter going to be like this

THERE IS NO RIGHT ANSWER HUH

this is now my favorite chapter in the history of time. also this is one instance where I’m already sure it’s impossible for the manga to be outdone by the anime. because how could it be. visually this is flawless

oh wait? is that it? just those three? no one else needs extra guidance?

so they’ve already singled out these three in particular as being the ones with the most potential, huh. sorry, Rest of the Kids

he’s chewing out Bakugou for his behavior toward the rescuees, and the other two for their whole starting-a-ridiculous-fight-in-the-middle-of-a-disaster-rescue-scenario

he says the thing they lack most is “heart”, and that they can’t expect to be heroes without it

“do you think that everyone will willingly grasp your hand when you offer it to them?!” oooh I like that. basically these idiots need to learn to be more approachable

“survive this life or death battle” lol oh shit

based on the tone of this chapter so far, I can’t help but wonder if this is going to end up being something comedically tame after all of this dramatic buildup

oh my god. suddenly I’m thinking back to that playground equipment. don’t tell me...

OH MY GOD

TODDLERS

holy shit. I count at least 24 of these tykes. and it looks like at least some of them have already manifested their quirks too oh shit

oh my god

Katsuki please don’t murder the small muppet child. I believe in you. babysit the shit out of these brats. you can do it

why do I suddenly have the feeling that maybe the elementary school just needed a substitute really last-minute and so this somehow ended up happening

now the big bird kid who called the grenades lame is running away crying

Bakugou is being chewed out by the other children and desperately trying to do some crisis management that consists of yelling at the kid to “STOP CRYING DAMMIT”

who the fuck is this

does Monoma have a younger brother we don’t know about

meanwhile three other children have cornered Shouto and are grabbing something on his utility belt and shouting “IT’S A PEEPEE” repeatedly

on the plus side, I can already sense Endeavor’s fight or flight instincts kicking in, and with any luck he’ll be out of there before we even get started

Shouto is patiently explaining that the thing on his belt is not, in fact, a peepee

this approach is not really working out for him

meanwhile still more children have surrounded Inasa and are just. punching him. for absolutely no reason

but Inasa is just taking it, and looking up at Endeavor and thinking “I won’t become like him.” awww

and yet this is not really working out either

you know, I wouldn’t have expected this to be the case, but so far Bakugou is actually managing the best here

Camie’s there too, and she’s asking if she’s supposed to be part of this training as well and what’s up with that

Gang says she’s a special case since she didn’t participate in the real test

she’s exasperated, but says that she likes kids anyway so whatever

and there’s a panel that we’re just going to skip riiiiight on past, thank you very much

suffice to say, the female kindergartners are now ganging up on Camie out of jealousy that their popular male classmate appears to like her

also, forget what I said before about Bakugou faring the best so far

little Billy, that is not a toy. please put down the grenade

these kids make flashback!baby!Kacchan look like a perfect little angel. at least he was cute

Gang somehow has faith in them though

you guys. if Kacchan somehow manages to bond with a bunch of snot-nosed little brats and become their mama I will lose my shit. please please please

(ETA: arguably this is exactly what happened. what a fine arc)

the rest of the class is meanwhile being shuttled along to have some boring lecture

lol Bakugou is despairing loudly

THIS IS THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YOU NEED, BUSTER. YOU SIT THERE AND YOU TAKE IT

and seriously though, wasn’t he always the leader of his little pack of brats even as a child? can’t he just somehow tap into that little brat energy and take command of this group of kids as well? he does have a weird sort of charisma, and always has. and he’s shown patience and leadership in the past at unexpected times. I really think he can do this if he just puts his mind to it

All Might, Mic, and Endeav are sitting in the spectator section in silence

Endeav and Mic are dotting up a storm lmao

oh my

ARE YOU GOING TO PROVIDE COMMENTARY

-- HE IS OMG

he says an event without commentary has no soul

brother I’m right there with ya. why do you think I even do this. we should go get kicked out of a movie theater together

All Might’s asking if they really need “soul”, and FUCKING DUH THEY DO, ALL MIGHT

oh shit he’s commandeered Mera’s microphone

I can’t believe this man is the fucking U.A. traitor. maybe. admittedly seeming less likely by the minute

anyways, now that Mic is gone, All Might is figuring he might as well get this awkward conversation over with

he says that he doesn’t really know what to say to Endeavor in his current state

Endeav is asking if All Might’s aware that over the past month the crime rate has risen by three percent

hmm. someone sucks at his current job of being number one, huh

oh no

is Endeavor

having character development

...

motherfuc...

shit

okay look. one, dude is basically a rapist, albeit in a manner that’s just barely society-approved. two, he beat his wife and child. and three, he then had his wife committed when she had a breakdown and never bothered to do anything to try to help her (and also, you know, he’s the one who caused said breakdown in the first place)

so just a reminder. that Endeavor. not a nice guy

...but. it’s a story. and if a character actually shows a desire and willingness to try and change... well. I’m not necessarily just going to dismiss it out of hand

but this motherfucker needs to show some remorse, though. otherwise, fuck that

so whatever, Endeavor. let’s see. I have a feeling this is going to be a long, arduous process, and it might not even pan out. but it’s interesting, at the very least. and so in that sense, I’m here for it. hell, I welcome it. after all, we sure as hell didn’t get too much complex character development in the previous arc, Nighteye aside. so this... this is good

BONUS:

lmaoooooo @ “likes beer” oh god. no salary in the world would ever be enough to compensate teachers for everything that they do and all the shit they have to put up with

the fact that she’s a newbie is apparent just at a glance. give her a year or two under her belt and I bet you anything her personality completely changes. teaching is basically baptism by fire. but she will eventually learn to improvise, adapt, and overcome. and she’ll probably be a lot more drunk too lmao

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lemon-verbena-writes · 5 years

Text

Some notes on A/B/O, how I use it, and other thoughts on the genre.

This post is inspired by @pools-of-venetianblue‘s wonderful comment [link] on love like blood, and I quote heavily from it here; she had such well-thought-out commentary, I wanted to include it here. Anything quote-blocked is hers; my responses are formatted normally.

I wanted a chance to discuss how I use A/B/O, and how others use it, and some other aspects of my fics, and this seemed like a good way to share that. I’ve put a read-more cut in about halfway through, because this ended up becoming very long. I think we all know that I’m a bit prone to long, though!

Your writing is stunning - the prose is gorgeous, poetic, and flows so well. You build the tension between Robin and Cormoran perfectly (and how are they both so in-character in such a different universe??? genius). And the angst... god, you are so good at drawing out that emotional pain until it physically hurts - and it made the moment where these two idiots finally give in and talk about their feelings so cathartic and satisfying.

Honestly, I left this bit in because I love flattery :) Also, I wanted to say that I’m so happy the angst was successful in making the feelings reveal both emotional and satisfying! I often find that I can draw out the emotions for ages, then when it comes time to wrap things up, I don’t know quite how to make it happen. So I’m very happy it worked!

In anyone else's hands, this trope could be a giant disaster, reinforcing sexist ideas about the sex and gender stereotypes - but you have handled it really well, showing the characters themselves struggling with the demands of the trope. Robin fighting against her biology, refusing to give in to its demands by asserting her subjectivity and her right to pursue the life that she wants - and her need to know for sure that what she has with Corm is more than biology, that it is her, Robin that he loves, and vice-versa, is absolutely wonderful - and I am living for her acceptance that their hearts, minds, and bodies are all in sync. I really hope she gets to a place where she can integrate/accept being an omega while still not letting it dictate the way she chooses to live her life (and thank god that she's found Cormoran who genuinely loves her brilliance and would never want her to change). And while I feel like Robin's struggle really is the emotional core of the story, Cormoran's angst about feeling like he doesn't live up to what Robin 'deserves' in an alpha, and coming to accept that it's actually about what she wants, and she wants him (at least I think that's where you're going with it??), complements it really well.

Again, you flatter me! The fact that this all came through makes me feel very successful as a writer, because these are complex things to depict in ways that aren’t ham-handed. Also, this is what I love about writing A/B/O: the ways that you can exaggerate the internal feelings with an external mechanism, so that not only do the characters get to have all their canonical feelings and struggles, but there’s an additional layer of biological issues. Robin not only has to deal with being single, she has to deal with having heats; Cormoran’s not only attracted to Robin, but he can smell her, and her emotions, and her need for him, and still he feels the need to deny it. It’s a way to make things both easier and harder! And you may have noticed, I do love to torture my characters, and draw out the emotional pain while giving them physical satisfaction.

All the things @pools-of-venetianblue touches on here are things I wanted to convey in my writing, and I’m glad it worked. There are many, many ways to write A/B/O, as many ways as there are authors. Every author uses it in a different way; in my writing group, there’s one author who writes A/B/O because it gives them a path to male pregnancy (”mpreg”), by making male characters Omegas. Other writers enjoy writing dubious consent, which Heats can provide, while still leaving room for eventual HEA and explicit consent. A/B/O has room for so many tropes, including things many people find upsetting or gross, such as rape/non-consent, gang-rape, animalistic traits beyond knots, and unbalanced power play. But at the same time, it can be a way to write m/m pairings having happy biological families, mpreg, nesting, and tooth-rotting fluff. It’s up to each author the directions that the A/B/O goes.

Like any collection of tropes, A/B/O contains multitudes. The ways I choose to use it are my own, and other authors will use other aspects in other combinations. I choose not to use many of “darker” tropes, like extreme possessiveness or total loss of consent, and I don’t usually dwell in the more visceral aspects of the biology, like the desire to impregnate. (That’s what knots are meant to be for; they hold the semen inside the Omega’s body, in order to have a better chance of impregnation. Some authors use this mechanism heavily; sometimes Heats will guarantee pregnancy, some A/B/O worlds have multiple births as a matter of course, triplets and more. But those don’t appeal to me, so I don’t use them! Others do. It’s all a matter of preference.)

Going back to what @pools-of-venetianblue says at the top of the paragraph: “this trope could be a giant disaster, reinforcing sexist ideas about the sex and gender stereotypes...” I choose to use aspects of A/B/O that suit my preferences, but other people enjoy the sex and gender stereotypes. They’re writing them on purpose, not by accident, and they generally know they’re not good things! (They wouldn’t know to tag them if they didn’t know they were bad things that needed to be warned for, right?) But they want to explore the ideas, and that doesn’t make them bad people or bad writers. The important thing to know about A/B/O, or any fic really, is that it’s not always about being good feminists and smashing barriers, etc. I fully support those things! But fanfic isn’t always about that; sometimes it’s about satisfying the weird parts of your id that wants things you know are bad/wrong/gross, but fascinate you anyway.

There’s nothing wrong with that. It took me a long time to come to the realization that just because I sometimes enjoying writing things like dubious consent (that almost always becomes explicit consent) it doesn’t make me a bad person. In real life, dubious consent is bad! But this is fanfic, and I can explore the interesting-but-bad things in a safe context. I would never want to be in a dubcon situation in real life, but I can enjoy writing about it and exploring the character’s feelings and reactions in fic, where it’s not real.

But at the same time the A/B/O thing isn't just a trope to subvert, it's also vital to the power of the fic, in that it takes their connection and compatibility and makes it material and visceral, letting you really amp up the desperation and euphoria in a way that wouldn't feel realistic in the canon universe - but which totally makes sense here. Oh, and it also lets you write really, really good smut. How is it so good? They have sex for like three chapters straight, but it's not repetitive at all?? How am I totally on board with this knotting thing, even though in any other context I find the idea super gross?? You're a smut genius.

Can I say again that I am SO VERY GLAD my absolutely gratuitous smut isn’t repetitive? I worry about it so much, but I just enjoy writing it so much that I do it anyway. Thank you for assuaging my fears on that count!

I do enjoy building the A/B/O into the fabric of the world! It’s one of those tropes which can be used to create an entirely different society, or can be integrated to our modern-day world, and either can work. I really enjoy fitting it in to our world; how would it work? What would be different? What would be the same?

I use A/B/O to, as @pools-of-venetianblue says here, “take their connection and compatibility and makes it material and visceral.” Their connection is the same, just more. Harder to deny, harder to resist, and ultimately inevitable. (Dear JK Rowling, it had better be inevitable! Who could write these characters and not see their relationship as inevitable? I digress.)

My preferred tropes out of the collection that make up A/B/O are the ones that deeper and make physical the bonds that characters already have.

So, to sum up, I have loved every single moment of this fic (and Comma as well!), and each new chapter absolutely makes my day. I probably still wouldn't ever read an A/B/O fic by any other author - but I absolutely will read anything and everything that you write in this fandom, no matter what genre or trope - this is that good. Thank you for writing this, I can't wait to see what you do next.

Again, the flattery, please know I love it and it’s working.

P.S. How exactly does mating work? What are the effects? I'm really curious - I tried google but it wasn't particularly helpful. Do we get to find out in the next chapter? (PLEASE SAY YES)

Alright, mating. Again, something that different authors do differently. I’m not going to spoil either of my fics here, but I’m going to explain it, because sometimes people find it upsetting or gross and I don’t want to spring it on anyone.

Generally, mating involves the Alpha biting the Omega hard enough to draw blood. There’s usually a gland for this; some universes, the scent gland, others have a specific mating gland for this exact purpose. (I have a mating gland in mine, because I prefer the mechanics of the mating and scent glands to be separate.) So in order to Mate someone, the Alpha bites the mating or scent gland hard enough to break the skin, leaving a scar which signifies the Bond to anyone who can see it. (The scent glands being scarred as a way to denoted who is Mated can sometimes be like wedding rings, an obvious indicator that someone is off the market.)

In my universe, I haven’t discussed Beta biology much, but Betas are essentially us, no knots, no glands. They can’t sense as much of the information available through scent-glands, and wouldn’t be able to sense whether someone was in Heat/Rut without help. Betas cannot Mate anyone, because they don’t have the biological tools or imperative to.

Cormoran leaves Robin lots of love-marks partially because of the Mating instinct; he is in Rut, and with an Omega he wants to Mate, so he bites down and uses his mouth, because his instincts tell him to. He doesn’t go for Robin’s mating gland because I don’t take away all of their higher brainpowers in bed, but he wants to, and instincts are hard to deny. (I also tie in the possessiveness here; it’s not all-consuming, but he’s... territorial about his Robin. That’s canon, though!)

I hope the mechanics of mating doesn’t upset anyone, but there it is.

Thank you to @pools-of-venetianblue for the wonderful comment and flattery, and for permission to re-use your words here, and to anyone who’s enjoyed my work and is curious enough to have read this entire thing. It’s terrifyingly long, but realistically, what do I write these days that isn’t? I hope this has been useful and illuminating for anyone who isn’t familiar with A/B/O, and everyone should feel free to ask me other questions you might have.

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commentaryvorg · 5 years

Text

Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Part 1.8

Be aware that this is not a blind playthrough! This will contain spoilers for the entire game, regardless of the part of the game I’m commenting on. A major focus of this commentary is to talk about all of the hints and foreshadowing of events that are going to happen and facts that are going to be revealed in the future of the story. It is emphatically not intended for someone experiencing the game for their first time.

Last time, in the second half of trial 1, there were seemingly-flawless arguments for both Shuichi and then Kaede being the culprit despite neither being the truth, Kaede encouraged Shuichi to finally face his fears and passed the protagonist baton onto him, Kaito was one of the last people to accept the truth despite being one of the first besides Shuichi to notice it, and Kaede insisted she was a horrible person but Shuichi was having none of it.

Now for the post-trial conclusion and everything being heartbreaking.

Monokuma: “The blackened who killed Rantaro Amami is the Ultimate Pianist, Kaede Akamatsu!”

You big fucking liar, Monokuma.

Kaede: “Good…”

Kaito: “Wh-What…? Good? What do you mean, good!? Is this how you want it to end!?”

Kaede: “Not really, but… it could have turned out a lot worse. So this is fine, too.”

Tenko: “I-It’s not fine! This is super horrible! The worst ever!”

This is not going to be the only time that the culprit will come out of the vote smiling and relieved that everyone got it right, while everybody else freaks out and wonders how anything can be okay about the fact that their friend committed murder and is about to be executed. And I especially love that Kaito is one of the people freaking out over it this time, given where he’ll be standing the next time this happens.

Kaito: “Yeah… I won’t be satisfied… Until I hear it straight from you…”

Look at Kaito desperately wanting to understand exactly what drove someone like Kaede to do something like this.

Kaede: “Okay… Please allow me a few more moments of your time, then.”

Guh, the way Kaede says this super-politely, like she feels like she doesn’t deserve to be taking up their time after she did something so horrible, not even to explain her motives.

Kokichi: “Oh, Kaede… it never dawned on you? As soon as that thought entered your head, Monokuma had you right where he wanted. Because what mattered most to Monokuma was that the killing game started.”

Kokichi being very perceptive again. He definitely understands Monokuma’s desires and intentions better than anyone else here. Which is appropriate, because his way of thinking is not entirely dissimilar to Monokuma, at least in terms of wanting to have fun by messing with people. The only difference is that Kokichi usually only likes to mess with people in relatively harmless, petty ways, but that’s still enough to put him on the same wavelength as Monokuma in a way nobody else is.

Kokichi: “Regardless of your reasons, the moment you felt the urge to kill, you had already lost. You agreed to be part of this killing game when you allowed murder to fill your heart.”

This goes a long way to explain why, despite his selfishness and how much he secretly hates being part of this game, Kokichi never actually tries to commit a murder to escape it – because he already considers that as “losing” in the sense that he’d just be doing what Monokuma wants and playing the game.

(Mind you, what he actually ends up doing ends up serving Monokuma’s purposes even more, but since he’s not trying to purely become blackened and escape, he can tell himself he’s totally not playing the game even though he absolutely still is.)

Kokichi: “That’s why I’m so… pissed off! Pissed off at myself for being so… so useless!”

This is far too genuine-seeming a reaction from Kokichi to be truly genuine, because he would never actually be this honest about how he feels. Even if there is a part of him which actually feels this way, on the surface he is telling himself that this is just a lie and he’s only pretending to feel like this and it’s not like he actually cares at all about the fact that Kaede’s about to die, right.

Shuichi: “Kokichi… that’s enough. I can see through your act.”

Kokichi: “…Whoops. That obvious, huh?”

And it certainly looks like he’s got everyone else fooled into thinking that any accidental outbursts rooted in genuine emotion from him are totally all just lies.

Kaede: “I took an innocent life! I’m nothing but a horrible murderer! You should all hate, blame, and be disgusted by me!”

Gah, Kaede, not even expecting any kind of forgiveness or understanding for what she did despite her intentions being really quite reasonable given the awful circumstances.

Kaede: “I thought about ending this by confessing to you what I had done… But… I couldn’t. Because of Monokuma’s First Blood Perk.”

Ryoma: “I see… If you’d confessed then and there, you would’ve been able to leave… But you decided you couldn’t leave this place by yourself, so you kept quiet.”

Exactly. She wouldn’t have just been able to leave – she’d have had to leave. And there’s no way Kaede would ever want to leave on her own and get off scot-free for the awful thing she just did while everyone else remains trapped and continues to struggle and suffer without her. She’s just far too selfless for that. The only thing she ever cared about was helping everyone else escape, not herself.

Kaede: “If I did this for everyone, then instead of making things easier by confessing… I thought I should lie to you all, so it would motivate you to keep moving forward.”

So instead she did the only thing she could think of under the circumstances that would keep everyone else working together and turned herself into the villain.

Kaede: “I never wanted to keep my crime a secret… I was going to tell you all eventually… But before I did, I wanted to expose the mastermind first… Then the killing game would’ve ended, and everyone but me would be saved.”

I’m not entirely sure why the thinks that if she caught the mastermind, she would still have been executed? But regardless, hearing her be so explicit about how she was only trying to save everyone else and didn’t care one bit about herself… aaaaa.

Shuichi: “…This is my fault. I was wrong. There is no mastermind…”

Tsumugi: “You were wrong…? But didn’t you say the mastermind was one of us?”

Pff, I like how Tsumugi is the first one to question that.

Shuichi: “But even when the killer was about to be condemned, they remained hidden. That has to mean that the mastermind is not among us after all.”

This is awkwardly worded – based on the fact they’ve just been discussing the point when everyone was focused on Shuichi and then Kaede convinced him to explain that she did it, his “the killer was about to be condemned” probably actually means “I was about to be falsely voted as the culprit”. But even assuming that, it’s also a very flimsy argument. Why would the mastermind have wanted to stop people voting for Shuichi anyway? If people vote wrong, that’s just how the killing game goes. Shuichi has no reason to assume that actually the mastermind would want people to find the true culprit because they want a nice long entertaining killing game that doesn’t end at chapter 1.

Like, I can kind of understand why Shuichi drops the idea of there being a mastermind at this point because the fact that he assumed there was one in the first place was why Kaede did what she did, and he’s upset and blaming himself and lacking confidence and not thinking straight at all. But this particular supposedly-logical reason for it is frustratingly flimsy, and I wish the narrative gave more of a sense that it really is flimsy and that the real reason Shuichi is dropping the idea is simply because of his issues.

Shuichi: “If I hadn’t been so stupid… If I never said anything about a mastermind to Kaede… Rantaro wouldn’t have died… and Kaede wouldn’t be a murderer! This is all my fault!”

At least we still do get plenty of Shuichi having issues and blaming himself.

Kaede: “No, it’s not.”

Shuichi: “…Kaede…?”

Kaede: “I killed him. Not you. …Right? Didn’t I?”

Well, as a matter of fact, Kaede—

Okay but even that aside, just the very blunt way Kaede states this to try and bring Shuichi out of his self-loathing is adorable. She’s smiling as she says this.

Keebo: “If your intent was to kill the mastermind, there was no reason for you to cover your tracks.”

Kaito: “Isn’t it obvious? It’s because… she didn’t want Shuichi to know.”

Hee, of course this would be obvious to Kaito. Why would Kaede ever want to let Shuichi see that she’s not as much of a hero as she was trying to be?

Kaede: “I said I wanted to escape this place with everyone. But you guys wouldn’t want to be friends with a girl who killed someone, would you?”

Oh, Kaede, still just hoping to be friends with everyone. I really, really get the feeling she didn’t have many meaningful friends in her memories because she was too much of a “Piano Freak”. But even if she had successfully killed the mastermind without anyone realising, that guilt and the feeling that she’s an awful person who doesn’t deserve to be their friend would have eaten her up inside nonetheless.

Gonta: “Be… friends?”

Aww Gonta who also probably doesn’t have many friends and can absolutely understand that feeling!

Tenko: “Kaede… put a lot of thought into this.”

Kokichi: “She put so much thought into this, it drove her to commit murder like a lunatic…”

Yeah, since she committed murder she’s obviously a lunatic and a bad person and so clearly we should all completely ignore the part where she still genuinely cared about us and wanted to be our friend, right? Obviously everyone who talks about helping other people and being friends doesn’t ever truly mean it, because look at her.

Shuichi: “Kaede… I didn’t know how, but I wanted to get out of here with you. I wanted… to be friends.”

YOU ALREADY ARE FRIENDS. But yes, you could have been even more friends if you’d escaped together and gaaaah.

Kaede: “I’m so sorry…”

And of course, Kaede’s still just apologising for the fact that her actions have hurt him like this, rather than expressing her own feelings that she had that same desire to escape together and be friends.

Kaito: “So you’re saying… everything you did was because you were thinking of us? And you hid that you killed him just to stay and help us…? How did things—”

Of course she did! You should understand that better than anyone, Kaito! If you were on a time limit, and killing someone then lying about it was the only way you knew of that stood a chance of saving everyone else before time was up, you would do exactly the same.

Monokuma: “But we can’t let this boring display grind the action to a halt, so…”

I don’t know why you think this display of tragic friendship and selflessness is “boring”, Monokuma. This is the best story you’ve had for a Chapter 1 in… probably ever?

Aaaaa look at Kaito and Gonta and Tenko facing up to the Exisals to protect Kaede they’re so brave and selfless and determined. (It’s a little awkward in Tenko’s case knowing she wouldn’t do this if Kaede were a guy, but.) Kaito in particular, since he almost got killed by an Exisal a few days ago, so he knows better than anyone else there how completely fucking impossible it is to take one on unarmed. Note how while he’s the one at the front, his stance is the most defensive out of the three of them. He is definitely scared as hell (I mean, they all are), but that’s not going to stop him risking his life for Kaede, dammit!

(Also, Kaito again doing something that he’s going to be on the other side of the next time people pull a “we’ll fight the Exisals to stop you getting executed!”, hee.)

Shuichi: “Y-Yeah! I’ll help! I can—”

Shuichi you are a noodle how on earth do you think you can possibly help in a fight. This goes to show how desperate he is to protect Kaede against all logic, too.

Kaede: “Everyone, stop!!!”

But of course Kaede can’t just let them all get themselves killed on her behalf.

Kaede: “…I’m not giving up. Because I have you.”

Shuichi: “…What?”

Kaede: “Even after I’m gone… my wish will still be here. So I’m counting on you all! I’m entrusting my wish to every one of you!”

This is absolutely lovely – she’s not thinking of this as the end, or as her defeat, because she knows that everyone else here (well, most of them anyway) still wants the same thing she always did and they’re going to try their hardest to reach it. Even though Kaede’s not the true protagonist after all, her passing on her wish to everyone else and especially Shuichi does a great job to make her still feel involved and important to the story after she’s gone. She was the protagonist for this first chapter not just for the sake of a fake-out and a plot twist, but because she still is meaningfully a protagonist of this story, in a sense.

Kirumi: “I will do my utmost to fulfil your final request.”

Tenko: “I won’t give up! I’ll get out of here, no matter what!”

Gonta: “Gonta work hard and keep friends safe till very end!”

…These lines are just painful, knowing what happens to each of them.

Kokichi: “Well, Kaede, you definitely weren’t boring.”

And that, folks, is the highest praise Kokichi can give. Be proud, Kaede, I guess?

I really like this shot of Shuichi desperately reaching out to Kaede at the beginning of the execution.

So. I used to find Danganronpa executions so disturbing that I literally couldn’t watch them. But while me being not particularly disturbed by this one is partially just gradual desensitisation over a lot of time, I think it’s also partly in the way it’s presented. Some of the executions bother me because they kind of stop treating the victim of them like a character from the moment it begins. They just become like an object for this twisted, horrifying deathtrap, and something about that really wigs me out. But this scene isn’t like that as much because there’s a lot more focus put on Kaede’s expressions and what she’s going through and how desperately you can tell she’s still trying to survive for as long as possible. And I totally get how a lot of people might find that more disturbing, but I actually personally find it easier to deal with that way. She’s still a character, right up until her last moments.

Even so, yikes. On my first time through I was still teetering on whether I should skip the execution or not, but I told myself I should watch it because I needed to understand exactly what hell Shuichi went through. And, man. Fuck. Ouch.

Shuichi: (The moment it was over, I felt my legs give out under me.)

No wonder this is his reaction.

Shuichi: (What I just saw… didn’t feel real. As if all reality had vanished, and the only thing left was a fictional world.)

…Yup. That’s a thing the writers put in there.

Kokichi: “I… I can’t believe this happened to Kaede… I liked her… s-so… m-muuuuuuch…! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! KAAAAEEEEEEDDDDEEEEEE!!!!!”

Again with the overacting to be able to tell himself it’s all a lie and he doesn’t really feel anything. Not that he actually did like Kaede all that much – he was never on board with all of her talk about co-operation and was quite happy to be a gigantic manipulative dick to her over the whole tunnel thing. She wasn’t boring, but that doesn’t mean he really cared about her as a person. But on a basic, fundamental level he’s just as horrified as any normal person would be at seeing someone get killed like that, and that’s what he’s trying to lie to himself about.

Monokuma: “Cuz if human life wasn’t precious, ending it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun!”

I don’t think any of the previous, Junko-driven incarnations of Monokuma ever expressed this sentiment. But this version understands that the whole reason a fictional death is heartbreaking and therefore worth having happen is because people cared about the character who died.

Monokuma: “There’s no greater joy than witnessing such a display of despair entertainment!”

Really laying the not-really-fourth-wall-breaking on thick here, huh. Is it any wonder Kokichi figures out that this whole thing is being watched?

Kiyo: “Kehehe… You’ve surpassed psychotic by a wide margin.”

And that’s saying a lot, coming from Kiyo.

Kaito: “I… I won’t ever forgive you for this! Got that!? I won’t ever forgive you!”

Monokuma: “Spoken like a marked man!”

Oh, really, Monokuma? Surely you’re aware that Kaito exists to make Shuichi his sidekick and he shouldn’t be getting himself killed until he’s at least started to do that. Although I guess he might also be referring to the fact that Kaito is marked to be killed off sooner or later no matter what happens regarding the murders. Plus, this is the out-universe writers trying to make Kaito look nice and expendable too.

(Also aaaa Kaito being so desperately furious and yet powerless to do anything about it.)

Maki: “…Do you hate us? If so, have we done something to make you hate us?”

I dunno, Maki, you should be used to the idea that people can do awful things to others without having any particular hatred for them. Although it does make sense that she’d assume someone might hate her specifically, but then that means she’s also assuming everyone else here has secretly done things they might be hated for.

Monokuma: “He died before his talent could be revealed. If he had lived long enough to reveal it, maybe he could have been more useful…”

You act like you wanted the story to get to the point where Rantaro discovered his talent, and yet the message on his Survivor’s Perk was clearly deliberately setting him up to be this first case’s victim or culprit.

Kokichi: “Dammit! You may have gotten us this time, but we’ll get you next time! You’ll see!”

This sounds like some kids’ cartoon cliché – which is to say, Kokichi is probably deliberately trying to come across this way to make everyone else realise how ridiculous and foolish their defiance sounds.

Monokuma: “I have a feeling you’re gonna live for a while.”

Unfortunately for the patience of everyone else who’s going to be stuck with him, but fortunately for the story taking some interesting turns, yes, he is.

Kaito: “Got it!? I’m gonna punch that grin right off your face. For sure!”

Monokuma: “Oh, really…? That seems unlikely. I’m pretty sure you won’t live long enough to do that.”

Are you sure, Monokuma? Because I think you’ll find that Kaito ends up living just exactly long enough to do that.

(Space.)

After Monokuma and the cubs leave, everyone is, quite understandably, very lost and downtrodden after what just happened to Kaede. But…

Kaito: “Aaargh! Shut up! SHUT! UP! You all just need to SHUT UP!!!”

(Kaito’s voice boomed in the air, and the room went silent.)

Kaito: “Every single one of you… and your meek little complaints… You’re pissing me the hell off!!!”

…of course Kaito can’t just let that be. At the best of times, Kaito will proclaim that it’s not good to spend time moping around and complaining and wallowing in your sadness when you could instead be thinking about what to do to make things better. But right now, Kaito’s just as upset as everyone else, probably second only to Shuichi in how much he’s hurting over this. He’s not thinking clearly enough to be able to turn his pain into something productive and is instead just desperately covering it up with unhealthy reactionary anger. So seeing everyone else still being upset reminds him of how he’s really feeling on the inside and he can’t stand it.

Kaito: “But the one who’s pissing me off the most… is you, Shuichi!

And of course Shuichi, who is both being the most upset and has the most reason to be trying to do something about this instead of just moping around, is the one who bothers him more than anyone else.

Can we take a nice long moment to appreciate that in this illustration after Kaito punches Shuichi, Kaito is crying. His anger is a desperate defence mechanism, all right.

Kaito: “Clench your teeth!”

Keebo: “Kaito! You are supposed to say that *before* you hit him!”

…Is saying that before punching your friend in the face a common trope in Japanese media, or has Keebo simply seen Gurren Lagann?

Kaito: “Didn’t you hear what Kaede said!? She said… she believed in you! That she passed her wish on to you! But what the hell’s wrong with you!? You didn’t say a damn thing to Monokuma! You call yourself a man!?!?”

This invocation of manliness is still about the idea of sticking to your convictions and taking responsibility. Kaede passed her wish onto Shuichi, so Shuichi should stand by that and stand up to Monokuma because that’s what Kaede would have wanted him to do.

Of course, it’s not fair of Kaito to be insisting this right now. Shuichi will start to do that, to hold on to Kaede’s wish and try as hard as he can to make a difference even though it’s still difficult for him. He just needs time. Kaito isn’t thinking clearly enough to realise that Shuichi is simply responding to this pain in a different way to him, by retreating into himself instead of lashing out, and that no-one should be expected to be able to stand up and fight back immediately after what they’ve just been through.

Shuichi: “…”

Kaito: “…What’s the matter? Say something already. I just hit you! Aren’t you pissed off!? What’s your problem!?”

Usually, Kaito’s powers of empathy are better than this, but right now it seems he’s too upset to comprehend the idea that someone else might react to things differently than how he would. Obviously if somebody punched him in the face he’d be pissed off and respond to it, so Shuichi should be doing that too!

Shuichi probably doesn’t respond not just because he’s in so much pain but also because a large part of him must be thinking that he really isn’t strong enough to carry on Kaede’s wish and that Kaito is right to be angry at him for this. It’s probably just as well he doesn’t say anything. I doubt he could have mustered up the courage to say something that would satisfy Kaito and not just make him angrier, and the less damage Kaito does when he’s not thinking straight like this, the better.

Maki: “Can we leave now? Staying here will only make us more depressed.”

Meanwhile Maki is resistant enough to horrifying situations full of death that she’s still thinking clearly and can suggest the most pragmatic response to this situation.

Tenko: “Shuichi… don’t beat yourself up, ‘kay?”

I appreciate these occasional moments of Tenko being kind to Shuichi, genuinely not even seeming to consider that he’s male and just seeing him as a person for once.

Kokichi: “Yep! Just hit the reset button on your feelings and you’ll feel happy and cheerful in no time!”

I’m sure you’ve had a lot of practice at doing that, Kokichi. Also, way to be a dick to someone who’s going through horrible trauma, good job.

Gonta: “Let Gonta know if you need his help, okay?”

Regular reminder that Gonta is Good.

Everyone leaves, except Kaito. Kaito seems to have calmed down already – probably having everyone else agree to get some rest and seeing (some of) them be kind to Shuichi made him realise on some level that getting angry and lashing out was not the right thing to do.

So instead he’s already trying to make up for it and help Shuichi by suggesting he go to Kaede’s lab.

Kaito: “Understand? There’s only one way to get through this awful feeling. No one’s gonna be able to console you if you’re just sitting here alone. If anyone’s gonna help you, it’ll be her… in your memories.”

This whole bit from Kaito really stood out to me on my first time through as being surprisingly sincere and heartfelt coming from him. This surprise was because it was the first time I’d properly seen Kaito being considerate and trying to help someone, not realising that actually this is what Kaito is like literally all of the time and he just hadn’t had much of a chance to show it until now due to Kaede overshadowing him. So I assumed that the only reason he was doing this was because he’d had some kind of personal experience with losing someone close to him, and maybe we’d go on to learn more about whatever he’d been through and have that be a whole big part of his character.

Now, knowing how Kaito is, it’s obvious that he’d say something like this to try and help Shuichi anyway whether he has any personal investment in these kinds of feelings or not. But it still kind of sounds like he might be speaking from experience here, just based on the way he talks about it. The fact that he never mentions what he might have gone through at any later point in the story doesn’t remotely rule out the possibility that such a thing happened, because, well, it’s Kaito. He doesn’t like to talk about his own problems, ever.

So, well, hold this thought. You might already be able to guess where I’m going with this, but I’ll get there in the next chapter.

The full moon outside the window of Kaede’s lab is very fitting, considering what Clair de Lune means.

Shuichi: “What a magnificent piano… I would have liked to hear her play it… if only just once.”

It’s still such a shame Kaede never got to do this! She totally could have invited people to her lab for a mini-concert! Admittedly, by the time her lab was open, everyone was scattered and divided because of the time limit, but she could still have invited Shuichi (and Kaito and Tenko and at least some others would probably have been happy to join too if they’d known).

Guhhh the image of Kaede playing the piano even though it’s just Shuichi’s imagination.

And just, man, this whole scene. By this point I’ve seen it so many times that it doesn’t make me cry any more, but for the longest time, and especially the first time, it absolutely did.

I also did not realise until I totally messed it up here by waiting too long between lines that, assuming you read the lines at a normal pace with natural pauses between them, this scene is really nicely timed with the music so that it ends just as the song reaches its climax and ending.

---

[Chapter-end bonus ramble] [Next post]

#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #ndrv3 #chapter 1 #class trial #commentary

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deepdisireslonging · 6 years

Text

Family Found Part 28: Not a Total Loss

The Reader has to take a match into her own hands when one of her wrestlers is attacked backstage. With that against her, and the other events of Survivor Series not playing to her favor, how can she prove to Stephanie McMahon that she is still the best option for a General Manager?

Warnings/Promises: wrestling violence, some Sheamus x Reader, uneven match descriptions, probably some typos (sorry, wrote this quick)

Word Count: 5430 (I am so so sorry. It’s a big PPV!)

Note: It’s Capstone season for me, so some of this is a bit more rushed than I would have liked. Still, it turned out pretty good, and I’m getting excited for some things to come. Also, I have Becky still competing because my invasion was different, and she would not have been hurt in mine. Please let me know what you have been liking or disliking about my series. The tag list is still open. Enjoy!

Part 1: Welcome to the Team

Part 27: Powerhouses

Survivor Series – November 18, 2018 – Los Angeles, CA

Before the show could even get started, there was one more fight that needed to come into being. It wasn’t your problem. The stars were part of William Regal and Drake Maverick’s crews, and part of it was up in the air until after Saturday’s NXT: War Games. The cruiserweight champion, Buddy Murphy was pleased to see Tommaso Ciampa retain the NXT championship. So, on Sunday they met each other in the ring as part of the pre-show. NXT versus 205 Live.

You were in the PPV booth with Renee, Shane, and the regulars watching the match and listening to the join commentary team make their usual commentary. Mario’s ‘Mama Mia’ never failed to make you smile. Though first, you had to flinch. Ciampa technically weighed less than Murphy, but only by three pounds. And his stringy form was making some problems for Murphy each time he tried to catch him. But when he did… there was nothing Ciampa could do. The cruiserweight wasn’t one of the highest flyers, but he was plenty. If Ciampa couldn’t get up, then he was repeatedly at risk of getting pinned. Luckily for him, he was a sly character. He didn’t have to get to his feet, all he had to do was roll out of the way of a landing and let gravity fight against Murphy for him.

This strategy won. Ciampa’s hand was eventually held high, and he even went as far as to put a weary boot on Murphy’s chest for the event.

***

The wrestlers were still leaving the ring when a techie came up to you at the booth. He whispered in your ear something that made you jump out of your chair and rush back stage.

When you arrived, the trainers were already taping up Dolph’s knee and shoulder. “What happened? Dolph, if this is some trick to get out of the match-“

“I was attacked from behind. I’ve been looking forward to this match and you know it! Why would I have myself attacked?” He tried to stand to say as much closer to your face, but his knee gave out. The trainer had him lay back on the concrete floor. He gave you a look and shook his head. Dolph noticed and sighed. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You couldn’t tell if he was apologizing for getting attacked, or for challenging Sheamus in the first place. You assumed the former. It wasn’t his fault. “It’s okay. I’ll think of something.” You turned and walked a few steps away. “Something.”

***

The pop for Breezango was incredible. Although Fandango wasn’t going to be competing, it was still good to see their team entrance. Arm sling and all. The reaction for R-Truth and Tye Dillinger was almost as good, but most of the energy went towards rapping along. Tyler and ‘Dango got into it too.

It was a fun match. Tye and ‘Dango stayed on the floor while Tyler and R-Truth performed acrobatics against one another. Impressed by R-Truth’s flexibility, Tyler tried to do a split.

Tried.

Thankfully, his own flexibility helped him spring into his own impressive stance. And the battle continued. There was a five-second dance break, and some fashion feux-pas tickets given out to some audience members on the front row, and to Tye. He didn’t take kindly to this and got up on the apron to argue it with Tyler, which gave R-Truth the opening he needed. He rolled the officer up and won the pin. Tye tossed his ticket in ‘Dango’s face and left with his partner having won the first score of the show for Smackdown.

***

Survivor Series officially started.

Sheamus made his entrance alone since Cesaro was going to go solo later. Backstage, you were in a rush and bumped into Shane coming back from the pre-announce table.

“What are you doing?” He motioned up and down to your hastily thrown-together gear. Technically it wasn’t really gear. Just some flexible skinny jeans and a black tank-top with the Raw logo on it.

You finished your hand tape. “What do you mean ‘what are you doing?’ Did you think I wouldn’t have a back-up plan?”

“You can’t just…”

“I know. Like you have never inserted yourself into a match. Or erroneously filled a team member spot or main evented or wore black and white stripes. Nah. Heaven forbid a manager get involved. Tonight, you guys are just going to have to deal.” You smirked and took a deep breath, squaring off to him. “A manager does what they have to, to keep the show going.”

Shane sputtered as you side stepped him to enter the arena.

Sheamus laughed as soon as your music hit. He leaned against a corner as you lifted a mic to your lips.

“Sorry, Sheamus. Dolph Ziggler won’t be able to fight you tonight. Oops,” you shrugged and continued down the ramp. “But what kind of manager would I be to deny the WWE Universe a unique match?” The mic bounced off floor and you entered the ring. The bell rang shortly after, and you began to circle one another.

Right out of the gate, Sheamus sling shot you into a corner and tried to take you out with a Brogue Kick. You dodged it easily, laughing. He smiled back and waited for you to take a turn attacking him. Before he could change his mind, you bounced off the bottom rope and swung a punch to his face, shaking your hand after the collision. He stumbled back, shock giving way to being impressed. There weren’t taking turns after that.

He caught your Seth-taught frog splash, and he was too big for you to Spear. You were to quick for him to trap in the ropes for chest slaps, and your self-preservation kept avoiding getting hit to hard. The ref was having more trouble getting you two to fight than the usual keeping wrestlers apart. You wanted to keep smiling at each other too much. After another evasion, you spun to sit on the ring post. When Sheamus turned to find you, you gave him a finger wave. Then you jumped, effectively catching him at the shoulders and dropping him to the canvas for the first attempted pin. It didn’t work, but that feeling of ‘almost’ was addicting.

You wore him down a few kicks at a time. Due to his tall figure and your lack of equal height, you aimed more at his thighs and stomach to cut him down to size. Occasionally you forgot to keep your arms up to block and took a punch to the head or shoulders that sent you spinning away. You had to avoid another Brogue Kick, wincing as his boot barley missed your face. With his knee still resting on the top rope, you scaled the turnbuckles and spun to give your punch more force. It hit Shamus square in the jaw and sent him to his back. One, two, three later, you won Raw’s first score of the evening. You had felt him tense at two and a half, but he didn’t go through with it. Something you confronted him about while the crowd cheered.

“Raw’s goin’ ta need the win. We’ve got the better teams.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.” Hiding a true smile with a smug grin, you held out your hand for his. He took it and gave you the handshake. “Good luck with the rest of the show, Miss Manager.”

“The same to your team, Mr. Sheamus.”

***

The second match was the first of the one-on-one matches. Natalya and Becky Lynch took a second to observe each other after the bell rang. For Natalya, it was just another match. Another chance to show how she deserved to be the women’s champion, for Raw and for herself. Becky saw it a different way, and she had expressed as much with her Twitter account. Natalya was another example of a legacy winning over the individual hard work of a roster. Because of this, Becky started the match at the same intensity as she did with her last woman standing match with Charlotte. Fast and brutal.

Desperate to slow the match to a glacial pace so she could catch a breath, Natalya caught Becky up in a series of holds. With each, Becky scrambled to the ropes or was able to contort her way out. So, Natalya changed her game. She met Becky blow for blow, and kick for kick. Dragged her to the center of the ring for holds. And still, Becky fought her way out. If she couldn’t beat Natalya, then her victory over Charlotte was a fluke.

And that could not happen.

When Becky had repeatedly beaten Natalya down to the canvas, she finished her off with a Dis-arm-her. She left the ring holding her blue title high, even as the ref handed the red one back to Natalya still recovering.

***

The women of Raw squared off against the women of Smackdown. The blue brand ladies were running on a high note with their champion’s victory. Carmella was already bragging that she was going to challenge Becky next when she led her team of Charlotte, Sonya, Mandy, and Asuka to the next win. Ember rolled her eyes but kept that plan in mind. She turned to Nia, Sasha, Alicia, and Ruby for a few last words, then left the ring to give the first-round ladies their space.

Sonya and Ruby faced-off first. Sonya pointed back at Mandy. She had back-up from her own mini team is she needed it. Ruby was by herself in a team of people she had taken great pride in destroying. They met in a head-lock, with Ruby taking the opening advantage. They struggled back into the Raw corner, where Sasha tagged herself in and quickly flipped Sonya into the bank statement. The Smackdown team flooded the ring, dragging their teammate from the hold. The teams were forced away from each other by the ref, who noted the change of tags to Carmella and Alicia.

Each woman had a turn to shine. And when the moment was over and she began to dim, another tagged in and picked up where she left off. Alicia eliminated Mandy. Sonya eliminated Alicia. Ember and Asuka had a long engagement, but neither was able to eliminate the other. Nia tagged herself in and eliminated Asuka after a while that left her battered and bruised. Charlotte took that advantage and quickly rolled her into a Figure Eight, relying on her teammates to keep the others at bay. Ruby tried to sneak in to catch Charlotte off-guard but missed the tag that brought in Sonya, who eliminated her with a series of rough punches.

It was down to Ember and Sasha against the three remaining Smackdown women. Sasha leapt in and caught Sonya in another Bank Statement. This one was successful with the others engaged on the floor. Carmella was nowhere to be seen, leaving it to Charlotte to answer the empty tag. Outside on the floor, Ember was hunting for Carmella. She found her hiding behind a camera crew. Carmella screamed, making Charlotte turn from where she had Sasha ready for a pin. Sasha leapt up and rolled Charlotte onto her back, holding her down just long enough for the pin. They glared at each other. The Queen took her time leaving the ring, making sure Sasha was looking at her instead of watching her own back. Which is where Carmella entered with a superkick as soon as Sasha turned around.

Ember slid into the ring, eyes aglow with her victim in her sights. Carmella backed up into the ropes, ordering the ref to keep her back. She tried to escape to the floor, but Ember met her on whatever side she landed on. Carmella finally changed her tactic and fought back. She was captain. And she was going to make sure she was number one contender for her brand’s women championship. She tossed Ember around by her hair. Kept her on her knees. Spun her into corners so she could hit her fast in a place where she couldn’t get away. When it looked like Ember wasn’t going to make it, she turned to the crowd and started to gloat. By the time she had turned back, Ember was on the top turnbuckle. Carmella shrieked. It was cut short by the Total Eclipse and the following pin.

***

The coed teams of Jimmy and Naomi Uso, and Bayley and No Way Jose met in the ring next. The women said hello to one another, and the guys shook hands. Then the bell rang. The match had the same rules as the Mixed Match Challenge. Naomi and Bayley started first. They were cordial to each other but didn’t hold back. Naomi was almost pinned after a series of Bayley-to-bellies. After she kicked out, she rolled out of Bayley’s grasp and tagged in Jimmy. Jose danced in from the other side, hip bumping Bayley on his way by. Jimmy danced for a while with him. But when his back turned, Jimmy ran for the ropes, drop kicking Jose just as he came back around. Jose kicked out at two, making Jimmy tag in Naomi with a huff.

It continued like that. Each team trying their hardest to beat each other down. Tagging out when it was time to switch tactics. In the end, Bayley and Jose didn’t have nearly as much practice working together as the married couple. There were no hard feelings after the pin. Goodbyes were said in a similar way as to the greeting at the beginning of the match. And all four of the wrestlers walked out of the arena together.

***

Logic left the building. Sanity entered the arena. And then Braun Strowman and Dr. M. The doctor wore a blood red lab coat with a ripped blue pocket. A detail that did not go unnoticed by the opposing team. Before they could take the fight to him, Braun took it to them. He controlled most of the fight while Dr. M watched from the floor and kept an eye on their third member, Wolfe. For the longest time, it didn’t matter if Killian or Eric were in the ring. Braun was more powerful, and he only had minimal difficulty in powerslamming Killian. But when they finally cornered him and took turns tagging in, they were able to get him to his knees.

Wolfe cheered them on while Dr. M scaled the ring, holding out his hand for the tag. Braun roared and burst from the corner. He staggered to the center of the ring where Young stopped him with a pair of fists to his spine. He fell to one knee again, taking the blows while Dr. M called out words of encouragement. Words that were strange and twisted and made Young pause. It was enough. Braun broke forward and tagged in Dr. M. Young was caught in the kiss-n-twist and Braun kept Killian from interfering. Raw had another win, making it even against Smackdown.

***

The tie did not hold for very long. Shinsuke Nakamura and Seth had a match for the ages. United States champion versus the Intercontinental champion. The match was constantly moving, jaw dropping, and had the crowd on the edge of their seats. Even Corey was enjoying himself. Seth responded to Nakamura’s “come on!” with a shrug and a near-pedigree. His attempted frog-splash was diverted into a roll as he was thrown over Nakamura’s shoulder on the way down. They danced around the ring like the veterans they were, sometimes having to take a moment to smile in awe at their opponent.

Seth scooped Nakamura up in his northern lights suplexes, making the king of strong style wobble half-way to his feet, seconds away from falling to his knees. It was the opening he’d been waiting for. But on his way by, Nakamura ducked, and Seth tripped over his leg. Seth came back up, spinning around and ready for anything. Except a kinsha-sha. When Seth could blink without his vision blurring, he stared incredulous at his victorious opponent ascending the ramp.

***

The Prince of Phenomenal met the Demon King once again. But this time, as man versus man. Finn passed his Universal championship out of the ring, and AJ did the same with his WWE Heavyweight title. When the bell rang, AJ rushed Finn, catching him in a head lock and pushing him back into the ropes. Finn wrapped himself up in the ropes, hanging out there until the ref was able to get AJ to back off. Then it was his turn. With a series of rope bounces, he had AJ flipped onto the canvas, kicked to the face, and down for the first attempted pin. They rolled away from each other, the seriousness of their matches setting in. Raw was down a win. If Finn won, the men’s elimination team had a chance to win the who pay per view for the show. If AJ won, it wouldn’t matter.

This lit a fire in both of them, making them run and jump and crash into one another. When they weren’t leaping at each other from high, they were interfering with the ropes and making everyone watching flinch with the landings. AJ jumped up on the ropes to do a Phenomenal Forearm to Finn on the floor, but he spun out of the way, leaving AJ with nothing to do with his momentum but fall back into the ring. When he came back up, Finn was there was a kick to the face. The Universal champion scaled the turnbuckles and finished the match with a coup de grace. Raw still had a chance. And the two leaders gave one another a ‘too sweet’ after taking back their titles.

***

Before the men’s elimination match started, while the teams were still staring each other down, Dean and Jey stood across from each other. Dean’s fist let go into a Shaka that Jey mirrored. They shook their fists like they were tossing back a drink, then shared a smile. Kofi let them have their moment, but as captain, he scooted Jey over so he could stare Dean down.

The captains started the match. At the bell, Dean was already attacking Kofi’s head and shoulders with punches. Kofi was able to grab him around the waist and push his back into a corner but then needed to take a breather. He got it by placing his hand over Dean’s face and leaning ever so slightly. When Kofi had his rest, he stepped back, leaving Dean confused. But only for a second. Dean kept Kofi on the defense for most of the rest of their time in the ring. With a kick to the stomach, Kofi fell with a Dirty Deeds. Almost. At the last second, he kicked out and twisted Dean up for the pin.

Before the Raw captain could roll out of the ring in shock, Drew McIntyre was in the ring with a Claymore kick that eliminated Kofi. Cesaro stepped to him. The men were equal in strength and skill and height. Which made it hard for either to gain the advantage. When neither could even take the other down to a knee, they both backed off, tagging in different partners. Bobby Roode and Jey Uso entered the ring. Again, there was a match in skill. But Jey gained the upper hand and lucked out with a heavy drop-kick. Bobby Roode was eliminated.

Baron stepped in, angry that his team was falling apart so quickly. He ran at Jey, who dodged and sent the lone wolf out of the ring, who spun around the ring post and was back in the match in seconds. With a Deep Six, Jey Uso was taken out of the match. Elias and Drew rushed into the ring as Cesaro, Rusev, and Andrade came in to keep Baron from taking advantage of their downed teammate. Once he was safely out of the ring, everybody backed off. With the encouragement of the rest, Rusev entered the match. Baron narrowly avoided a Matcha Kick that would have made him vulnerable to a hold. Both Drew and Elias held out their palms for a tag. Baron growled and shied away. He should have been captain. If he had, they probably would have won the match by now. Another furious attack later, Rusev was eliminated.

Team Smackdown was livid. Baron wisely tagged in Drew when Cesaro entered. With a simple trip, Cesaro had Drew on his back and in perfect position for a spin. He let Drew go as Baron tried to interfere, slinging Drew into Raw’s corner where Baron could tag himself in. He was caught and spun too. Elias held his hands up in defense under Cesaro’s glare. Instead of interfering, he rolled Drew to the floor and pushed Baron further into the ring. Dizzy, Baron wasn’t able to fight back as well as he had before, and he was eliminated. Elias eased into the ring. He used Cesaro’s anger against him and continually beat him down to the canvas until he was able to roll him up for a fighting pin. Andrade rushed in just as Elias and Drew switched. No matter what they were going to do, he was a fresh man who had more energy than them combined. He eliminated Drew first, still reeling from Cesaro’s spinning. Then, avoiding Elias’s heavy hits and dangerous knees, Andrade was able to pin Elias.

Smackdown won Survivor Series with five matches to Raw’s four. Their first winning year.

***

Monday Night Raw – November 19, 2018

It was inevitable. Still, you flinched to hear Stephanie’s boots approaching. Hopefully, your plan was going to be enough to wow her and the disappointed universe.

“This is unacceptable,” she spat, “we are the leading show for the WWE, and we should have won. You-“

“Hey, take it easy. I think we did pretty well, all things considered. We only lost by one match, and I won mine. On the fly, might I add.” You sighed. “In the long run, we’ve still got the lead. Raw won the last two years, and this has been Smackdown’s first winning Survivor Series. We’ll get them next year. I don’t really know why you’re so upset. Everyone tried their hardest, and we put on some great matches. Not a single won was an easy win. In my eyes, we are still the leading show. Especially now that everyone will work that much harder to prove it again. Don’t worry.”

“But-“

“Stephanie.” You gave her a soft smile. “It’s okay. This is Monday Night Raw. We will excel like we’ve always done. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got an announcement to make.” You headed for the door but turned and offered for her to go first. “Shall we?”

***

The women of Raw were already waiting in the ring when you and Stephanie arrived. Nervously, you spun the mic between your palms. “Well done, ladies. All of you. In my eyes, you were all a success in showing off the best female talent in the WWE. So, I think it’s time for a change. Another milestone. This Saturday at Starrcade, there is going to be a tag match. Four on four. The winners of that team will get first pick. ‘First pick of what’ you might ask. Well, the final product isn’t done yet, but Raw is going to have women’s tag team titles.”

The women gasped and hushed each other so you could continue.

“The winning team of Starrcade will get first pick of their teammate for the tournament to determine the first ever female tag team champions.” With a smile you let them flock you for hugs and thank you’s and handshakes. “Good luck everyone.”

You held the ropes open for your boss. She shook her head and met you on the apron. “And you were going to tell me… when?” Stephanie smirked. You were still in trouble, but not nearly as much as you had been.

In the ring, Ember picked up a mic before everyone could leave the ring. “Natalya, could you stay a minute?” She handed her mic to the champion, then went for another. “I’d like to have a word.”

“I’m all ears,” Natalya said brightly, motioning to her trademark cat-ear headband.

“You lost your match.”

She shifted the title uncomfortably on her shoulder. “So did a lot of people. Why? Do you think you could have done better?”

Ember cocked her head. “Maybe I do. I was the captain of the winning elimination team. And as such, I deserve a title shot. And I want it at Clash of Champions.”

Biting her lip and looking off into the crowd, Natalya scoffed. “What? Starrcade too soon for you?”

“No,” Ember sing-songed. “I’m going to be busy already. I’m going to be in that tag match. Making history. And then… I’m coming for your title.” She pouted mockingly. “That’s enough time for you to prepare. Get those last pictures and stuff, right? They’re all you’re gonna have of that title once I claim it.” She dragged a finger down the red and white, then across Natalya’s shoulder blades on her way around to the ropes. “Enjoy it while you can.”

***

Backstage, Sasha stopped in her tracks and rolled her eyes. She turned around to go the other way, but Bayley stopped her.

“Sixty seconds. That’s all I need. Hear me out.” She waited for Sasha, who crossed her arms with a sigh and set her gaze on her former best friend. “The world is changing. It’s getting bigger, and there are new opportunities. Like the new Raw women’s tag titles. We both know the group that’s going to do anything to get their grubby hands on them first. But what if they didn’t make it.”

Sasha squinted. Bayley’s time was almost up, but now she was listening.

“We are the best at what we do. But for the past several months we’ve turned it against one another. It’s weakened both of us. You don’t have to like me. I don’t have to like you.”

“We just have to work together,” she added.

Bayley grinned. “I’m glad we can agree on something.” After half a nervous breath, she held out her hand. Sasha took it and gave it one hard shake before continuing her way down the hall.

***

“I once held the whole world in my hands.” Dr. M peered out over his firefly followers with Braun standing right behind him. “I rose up and up and then fell into a pool that cleaned out the cobwebs in my mind. And I realized, the world I held was not rotten and in need of salvation by fire like I had originally thought. I realized it was just sick. In need of a doctor. It still needs salvation, make no mistake. Salvation from the depths the WWE has sunk to.”

Dr. M stroked at his beard, newly trimmed but still dark against the bright white lab coat. “This Saturday there is to be a match. Whoever comes out on the other side will be the number one contender for these badges of honor.” Behind him, Braun lifted the tag titles to show them off. “But there is another, more desperate matter at hand.” He breathed deep. “The sickness. The illness that has taken these athletes and lulled them into a false security. To heal anyone, I must first go to the one who was infected first.” Dr. M grinned. “Starrcade. Then… the purification begins.”

***

“Dean. Dean!” Seth jogged to catch up with Dean. “Where’ve you been all day?”

“Nowhere,” he mumbled. Dean shrugged Seth’s hand from his shoulder, but Seth grabbed at his forearm.

Seth shook his head. “No, no, no, no, no. Don’t avoid me.”

“I’m not going to talk to you about this.”

“I know, but Y/N is busy-“

“She’s in hot water because of me. I wasn’t going to talk to her either, brother.”

“No. Just listen.” Seth succeeded in getting Dean to face him. “It’s not your fault. There were four other guys in that match. And four other matches that could have ended differently. A whole mess of things that were out of your control.”

“Actually,” Baron stepped into the light, overshadowing Dean. “It was. You were the captain. There were four of us who could have started that match better. You got us off on the wrong start.” He leaned closer to Dean’s face as your cousin bit back a growl.

Seth stepped between them. “Hey. You didn’t do so hot yourself, mister lone wolf. You made sure the team lost when you wanted to do everything by yourself.”

“I eliminated more of Smackdown than anyone else. And who are you to get into this? One of those ‘other four matches’ was yours. And you lost it.”

“Shut up,” Seth and Dean chorused. Just Baron was about to bite something back, they froze at the sound of a guitar.

Elias walked up. “I have to agree… with Baron.” Everyone looked confused. Including Baron. “You also lost your match, Seth. You’re supposed to be ‘the man’ and this great pinnacle of wrestling skill. But you fell flat,” he said, twanging his guitar strings. “A champ is not a champ if he can’t win matches.”

Dean had to be the one to step between them. “You’re the one that got pinned, cockatoo.”

Seth pushed against his arm. “And I bet you think you’re the guy to step up, huh?”

He grinned. “If you think you can handle it after such a sweeping loss.”

“You’re on.”

Elias’s eyes raked over the title on Seth’s shoulder as he turned to leave. Baron gave one last hard look at Dean, then went his way too.

***

It didn’t take long for the Seth and Elias’s match to get nasty, even with Dean there to run interference from anybody who tried to get involved. Seth flattened himself against the barricade as Baron swept past. Baron moved to attack again, but Dean hit him from behind. Elias reached over the ropes and grabbed at Baron’s vest, effectively unbalancing him over the apron where both Seth and Dean could attack his rib cage. When Elias let go, Baron sagged to the ground where Dean could keep a close eye on him.

“Stop messing around and get in here,” Elias said, nodding towards the ring. He stepped to the center of the ring, ignoring Seth’s dramatic huffs.

They kept going. Elias was sure that the match with Nakamura would have exhausted Seth, but he was mistaken as to the amount. With a series of Northern Light suplexes, Coasts to Coasts, and a Curb Stomp, Seth retained his Intercontinental Championship.

Later that night, you announced that the four of them would have a match at Starrcade on Saturday.

***

“Congrats on your win tonight. To bad about your loss on Sunday.”

“Yeah, yeah” Seth chuckled, shifting his title on his shoulder. “I’ve already been over that tonight, and I’m not looking to do it again.”

“T’at’s too bad. So much for Monday Night Rollins. Guess that doesn’t extend to other nights of the week.”

Seth spun. “Really? That’s how you see it?”

“T’at’s how I see it.” Finn’s forehead creased as he watched the cogs turn in Seth’s head. “Watcha thinkin’ about there, Seth?”

The man chuckled. “You remember a couple weeks ago I said I would hold both titles by the end of the year? How would you like the chance to prove me wrong?”

Finn slowly grinned. “It’s one of my fav’rite things. Shall we set tha date for Clash of Champions?”

“Yes. Unless you lose your match to Drew tonight. And again, on Saturday. Then… I guess I’ll have to make the deal with him.” He gently patted Finn’s shoulder before walking off.

***

The main event was to determine if Drew McIntyre was going to have a title shot at Starrcade. But he had to beat Finn first. Which he did, carrying the rage and frustration over from losing in the elimination match. Finn’s high over beating AJ Styles again wasn’t enough to keep up with the Scotsman.

The combination of a Glasgow Kiss and a well-timed Claymore Kick wiped the champion out for the pin. And put at risk Finn’s title reign.

Part 29: A Dangerous Road

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

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#Family Found Series #original wwe series #original storyline #cousin!dean ambrose #cousin!reader #general manager!reader #survivor series 2018 #wwe au #wwe parallel universe #monday night raw #smackdown live #it's nearly 1 in the morning #why do i do this to myself

7 notes · View notes

ksbwnotes · 3 years

Text

Chapter 6

*looks out into the distance* welp.

1. It is rather strange

As we later see in this chapter, Bum logically knows that this is not the type of relationship he wants to be in. But Sangwoo did things that Bum could’ve only dreamed of having--and Sangwoo takes advantage of that. Both, as a control mechanism and a way for Sangwoo to receive the love he wants just as desperately as Bum (they both just have different ways of going at it).

But still, the way Bum reacts to the sexual aspects. He becomes a person entirely uninhibited and unable to control his desires. He’s super weak to pleasure (or, in other words, he’s so desperate for a dopamine release and sex can give him a dump of that shit), which is why he is the hypersexual one in the relationship, while Sangwoo just seems to use it as a weapon.

2. Like...I get it...I GET IT...

If this was real life, then it would just be Bum not paying attention, made worse by the environment he’s trapped in, and him touching a fucking boiling pot without checking the temperature or using a towel wouldn’t be his fault.

But ever since the whole rat poison thing, I’m unable to look at this in anything but a fictional way. Because it’s like Bum is testing Sangwoo himself here as well, but using a disconnect between thoughts vs reality as a way to hide behind excuses and just generally remain self-unaware.

Because he knows that, usually, if he drops shit, Sangwoo will be there to beat the fucking shit out of him.

But...what about now?

3. Honestly, Bum, I’m confused too lol

Sangwoo has this thing of just...not thinking about things. He also has this disconnect that allows him to just respond to his environment without having to think too deeply about its significance. So long as he can separate the emotion from it, Sangwoo takes things moment by moment. I think that’s just to keep himself from getting overwhelmed because he already is running on overflow due to his PTSD.

So, I think the new rush of feelings Bum is bringing for within him is making him see his environment in a new way. Less cluttered. Less...trapped in his memories. His trauma. Which means it will take more for him to be triggered into harming Bum (i.e., Bum trying to leave him and take away this newfound peace with him).

4. *makes a what the hell motion*

...I...why though??

5. It is interesting because now...

...Instead of reacting with pain whenever Bum shows hesitance and anxiety, Sangwoo is trying a different tactic. Now that Bum has shown him that, in a way, he does genuinely have...some sort of feelings for Sangwoo, Sangwoo wants to keep that feeling.

6. Trading ice

Ahhhh this is such a good scene. Koogi delivers such an amazing representation of why battered partners stay. This scary ass bastard breaks Bum’s legs and beats him up, but with this scene of Sangwoo making out with Bum so they can swap the ice between their mouths...those are the parts that make a part of me root for them. What makes it worse is that Sangwoo is so good-looking and he sweetly calls Bum cutie, so like...if you just take in this scene and leave out the rest, that’s the part of me that wants moments like these to continue.

7. Lol, yep

Oof, classic of any and every abuser. And, honestly, any normal person. Though, I do think Bum’s mode of ‘separating’ these two is due to Bum’s mental issues as well. I think his susceptibility to psychosis and derealization makes him more prone to thinking as the same reality as two different realities.

And really, it’s not that Sangwoo has two completely different personalities. No human can maintain the same personality in every single situation.

Also, one thing I find interesting about Sangwoo’s reaction to Bum is that I don’t think these parts are part of his plan. I think these are all new additions, not actual strategies he has consciously come up with to keep Bum with him. Because no one has ever made it as far as Bum, so while he could only imagine someone getting this far with him, he has never actually entertained it until now--when he is being given the chance to.

8. oisjrgio;srejg;oiesrjgio;esjgi gdi

Honestly, this makes me very impressed with Bum. Because no matter how desperate Bum is for love, he doesn’t actually fall for the stockholm syndrome completely. Not in the beginning. I started on the chapters where he already had, so seeing how he’s fighting back against it right now gives insight to how gradual his descent was.

9. Ohh?

Wait, Sangwoo is sleeping downstairs with Bum?? So that he doesn’t have to lock Bum up in the basement, he’s compensating for that by sleeping in the same bed with Bum instead?? I can see Sangwoo’s line of thinking after Bum crosses that line: “I treat a loser homo like you nicely and sleep in the same bed as you so that you don’t have to be in the basement, and this is how you treat me instead?”

10. I have this headcanon

That Sangwoo makes sure not to sleep before Bum does. Since Bum is unchained, the risk of having Bum escape is really high, so to make sure that doesn’t happen, he only lets himself relax once Bum is asleep. Their position in bed here also makes it so that it’s very difficult for Bum to get out of the room without waking him.

Also, I do think Sangwoo has been woken up multiple times by his mom’s molestation. So he also probably automatically wakes up whenever someone touches him in his sleep. Which is why, in later panels, he responds by completing the sexual advances himself--because why else would someone touch him in his sleep? At least this way, he’s in control of the advances and it’s with someone he has...sorta chosen.

11. *screams into hands*

Sangwoo--and you know what, even you Bum, for being horny instead of disturbed--I’m begging you, PLEASE NO.

But really though...Bum’s response to not actually respond to Sangwoo’s Oepidal commentary...it shows how, while alleviating Sangwoo’s pain in the short run, does stagnate Sangwoo in his trauma in the long run.

Ughhhserhgiulheriuhguieshg i am so scared to scroooollllllll lije;osirgjoise

Okay you know what, before I scroll, one last thing: Again, Sangwoo’s comment does drive home to how...this was the only time he ever felt safe and loved. He can’t remember anything positive in his childhood that it was the time before he was born that gives him fond memories, even though he obviously can’t possibly remember that. He’s not frkkn Ray from Neverland.

ACTUALLY WAIT. Sangwoo has probably said stupid shit like this with the other girls he has been with right!?!??! Obviously any sane/average person would be disturbed by this, so they probably would chew Sangwoo out. One thing he said about the CEO’s daughter was that “this bitch thought she was better than me”.

Sangwoo’s tests for the women he dates must be different than Bum’s tests. Obviously no “don’t cross the line” shit. So while sleeping with them, he starts showing his creepy side, the thoughts that plague his mind as a way to keep him from completely losing it. And the moment he does, he sees the disgust in their faces and the way they try to get away from him, which is when he responds by...uh throwing them in the basement, I guess lol.

Omg I am trying so hard to prolong having to continue reading. 😂

12. Oh O_O

Okay so Sangwoo is now fine with it??

Ohp never mind, finally made it through the whole scene and nope, he doesn’t seem to be lol. Him having oral-based trauma seems more and more likely now. He pulled Bum off him right before he came and as you can see here, it’s like he’s...nervous. In pain. Something along those lines, either way, it’s not so much “lost in pleasure” rather than “lost in painful memories”.

I don’t think Sangwoo is allowing Bum to blow him because he wants it--it’s because he knows Bum wants it. And he’s trying to reward Bum for behaving himself and not crossing the line.

So I don’t even think Bum being a guy is even the issue here. I don’t think Sangwoo has ever finished inside any woman, whether their mouth or vagina. Because even though Sangwoo is saying things as if he does sexually love his mom, in reality, he’s so disgusted by it that he can’t function in his daily life.

I like that Koogi didn’t draw Sangwoo’s eyes here--just like how, in a flashback, we could see Eunsoo’s mouth but not her eyes. In a way, during these moments Sangwoo doesn’t feel human. Just like whenever his mom molested him, he wasn’t her son or a person during that time, just a thing for her gratification.

13. So, this is probably one representation why Bum tried to escape

Other than the obvious of NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE THE OUTSIDE WORLD AT ALL (omg, regular people rioted just one week into the frggn shutdown during a PANDEMIC, of course Bum would want to go the fuck outside), I think Bum also sees the disconnect between Sangwoo’s actions.

Bum has probably asked if he could swallow Sangwoo’s cum, but to no avail, and that Sangwoo seems to have a underlying reason lurking there that he refuses to explain and Bum is unable to understand.

Even though he wishes otherwise, he gets that Sangwoo doesn’t actually love him and, thus, can snap and kill him at any time. Sangwoo is keeping him only because Bum is obeying his rules. Otherwise, he’s meaningless to Sangwoo. He’s not a human or a person to Sangwoo. He is a thing for Sangwoo’s gratification.

14. “Can yOU gO bAck TO thE BasEMEnt BUM???”

Hmmmn, okay, so there was a vague time lapse here. Does that mean Sangwoo has been continuously putting Bum back into the basement every time he leaves??

The way Sangwoo is asking implies that he hasn’t, but Sangwoo is also a piece of shit, so maybe that isn’t a question at all. Thing is, the way Sangwoo says “ah, you’re angry?” at the end might mean something.

Anyways, if Bum really hasn’t been going down to the basement, the thing is he still isn’t letting Bum outside and it’s making Bum go stir crazy. He literally hasn’t probably seen the outside world in a week or two. And Sangwoo notices that. He sees how Bum has been slowly mentally and emotionally deteriorating due to being locked up inside.

So him going outside to meet someone might have been him setting up a test for Bum.

It really is interesting to see how tightly Sangwoo is clinging onto Bum. He’s not a serial killer just for the sake of the murder itself, he’s actually trying to find someone he who can love him...while making it impossible for them to love him lol.

15. Damp?

I wonder if the basement being too damp has something to do with why we saw Sangwoo’s hands dripping earlier, leaving that wet spot on Bum’s clothes.

16. *wheeze*

Ah, when your man whispers sweet nothings in your ear aojeroi;aje :’)

17. ...gdi, don’t make me feel bad for you

oof Koogi expertly catches the anxiety and low key desperation on Sangwoo’s face. Seriously. He has set up the test for Bum, saying he’ll be back around 7pm and all he’s doing is just waiting outside to catch him. He’s begging Bum not to cross the line. He wants Bum to prove his loyalty, earn his trust so badly.

Which is bullshit, but whatever. It still does make me wonder what kind of reward Sangwoo would’ve given Bum had he stayed and not tried to escape. How much leeway would he have given Bum afterwards? It’s an interesting what-if.

18. Bum’s expression is also interesting here

Bum’s expression is interesting here too. Koogi’s choice to do her signature red haze in the panel does suggest that he’s planning something that WILL get him beaten to death by Sangwoo too.

#volume 1 #chapter 6

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coffee-for-himchan · 6 years

Text

Outbreak (Youngjae mafia/gang AU pt.1)

Word count: 6.9 k+

Genre/warnings: Mafia/gang AU (Involves some blood and cursing, as well as the regular mafia stuff. But nothing too excessive)

Summary: Faint knocking through the wall is what he heard first, and the next thing he knew, he had brought along a beautiful stranger who had some horrible things in common with him. And in the midst of failed missions, uncracked codes and trust issues, he was in the mood to let you stay.

THIS IS PART 1 // PART 2 HERE // PART 3 IS HERE

It was almost too easy. Good thing he had a sharp reaction, precise aim and that twisted little mind of his that made a joke out of every single life situation he found himself being a part of.

Including being alone and being surrounded by four other men who wanted nothing but his death.

“I believe you can handle this alone,” Himchan had said earlier that day, putting some papers on Youngjae’s desk that he only threw a mild, rather uninterested glance at, “There’s a lot of fuss happening around here today. I could give you Daehyun as back up-”

“Look, from the depths of my heart. He’s my brother, my friend. But he sucks at being part of a gang. So how about we leave him here instead, to spare me the troubles of saving an additional person?” Youngjae’s tone was quite annoying, making Himchan roll his eyes in response. Too bad Himchan had picked him up when he’d developed his full personality already, and was unable to change even a single aspect of him. His words often sounded too demanding and too much like a order, even though he wasn’t the one ordering people around here. He was the one who had nothing left to do, that is - nothing other than to obey.

“Then you’re alone on this. Will you manage?”

“Yessir,” he chuckled, giving a playful salute gesture in return and bringing himself up from the chair, heading towards the exit.

“Be careful!” Himchan called from behind as he saw his member’s frame disappearing, earning another chuckle in response.

“Will do, momma bear,” he answered, and closed the door behind himself with a thud - just a teeny tiny bit too quiet not to be considered intentional and snappy of him to do.

Himchan muttered a few dissatisfaction-filled phrases here and there, and tried to not break his head over it. They had another two places to be at tonight - both of which asked for a leader to be present. Yongguk would take Junhong and Daehyun along, Himchan would be fine with just Jongup. And the third in line of command had already vanished to do the least dirty of three deeds, but the one that required the most thinking and strategy.

He was “the brain” for a reason. His perception was sharp, his ideas spot-on and his instincts as good as they could be. That, combined with his “always-the-last-to-speak” attitude and his truthful yet rather mean commentary, was his key to success. It’s what made him who he was, and what made his name stick in other people’s heads.

Even now, as he walked down the hallway, gun in hand as even though he didn’t see them, he knew exactly who and where lingered to get rid of him, as he heard it through his earpiece.

“Hold on. I think I know him.. Isn’t that Yoo Youngjae?”

“Should I be familiar with him?”

“He’s that guy from B.A.P I hate the most, remember? I told you once. Such a fucking loud mouth, and none of the things he says are of use or of importance. So fucking annoying, but he aims well.”

Youngjae could only smirk in return, knowing they weren’t aware of his spying devices he’d already managed to lay out throughout the whole building, or as much of it as he’d need at least.

Taking another turn, he didn’t need to hear conversation through his earpiece - he could sense someone was not far behind from him. So, as if he wasn’t aware of not being alone, he opened the door that was in front of him and let it shut before anyone could see or notice.

Wandering through the unfamiliar room, it suddenly hit him. He’d accidentally wandered to the place he originally had to find, and as he figured the clock was ticking now, he did his best to try and find it. A safe.

The safe was found after two minutes of fiddling around, hidden in a space in the wall behind a painting. How banal, or so he thought, yet when he tried to crack the code, he figured there was nothing banal about it.

He couldn’t get that thing open.

“Goddamn it,” he kept muttering as he heard footsteps not too far outside. He knew anyone could come in at any given moment, so he tried to make it quick, yet realized he was unable to do it.

And all seemed to lead to him having to flee through the window and go back to B.A.P’s base, telling his members he’d found the location, but was unable to crack the safe open. Yet a faint, barely-there sound that suddenly came from the other side of a nearby wall stopped him from doing so.

Knocking. On the goddamn wall.

He listened carefully to the pattern of knocks, not needing more than five or so seconds to figure out it was nothing more or less than morse code.

“Please… Help”

This left him puzzled, and for a second he forgot how he was alone at a place he shouldn’t be at, stealing plans from another gang to prevent them from causing mad havoc. Because B.A.P, believe it or not, were quite nice for a gang. Actually getting only rid of all that might harm others, but doing so mercilessly.

He took a few steps forward, putting his hand on the wall where the unknown person on the other side kept repeating the same.

“Please… Help”

“Who are you?” he started tapping back, doing it in a skilled and fast fashion. Being grateful he did learn morse code long ago when he had the opportunity, as it hadn’t really proved itself to be useful yet. That is, until today.

“Locked in here. For two years.. Please, help me.”

He figured it was something among those lines, yet had no time to consider as the door burst open and three armed people ran into the room.

“Get him!”

He flinched, having been too caught up to see a bullet zapping right past his head, leaving a long, red trail of blood at the back of it. But not more than from, let’s say, hitting his head on a shelf non-gracefully. So he was happy his head was still there, on his shoulders and in one piece.

He moved, taking out his gun and pulling the trigger a few times. For such a tiny little space that he was in, he was rather surprised on how he’d still managed to stay relatively unwounded, but as he saw there was no way of dealing with them alone in these surroundings, he made a move only few crazy people could have enough courage to do.

He went for the window.

Damn, he hated himself for all the flashbacks he usually had while climbing around the exteriors of buildings, but he couldn’t help them. Whenever he clung on there like his life depended on it, because it sure did, nine year old Youngjae popped up in his head, alongside his desire to climb around things to somehow put out his never-ending energy, including his family’s summer home’s exterior. As much of it as the first floor, at least.

Now he was on the second though, and as he patiently waited for someone to lean out of the window to get a hold of him, he smirked. It was always the same. They leaned out, he fired before they could. Nothing new or interesting.

Three people had been taken care of this same, cliche and banal way. But one was still on the loose somewhere in the building, that one being the leader of their gang. Youngjae’s feet told him to search for a lower, more comfortable spot where he could go in for a safe landing. He wanted to get away from there as soon as possible - to go back home and have himself a nice big cup of hot chocolate, cursing at politics and forgetting all in order to game at night - but he recalled something he felt like he should take care of before leaving for good.

“Please… Help.”

He had no clue who the person asking was. He had no benefit from helping them either. Yet the way the person knocked on the wall, as if it was their last chance of survival, with knocks so desperate yet so tired of life, so tired of waiting for someone who could hear them, and actually understand… It all reminded him of something that hit a little too close to home. And he simply felt like he was obligated to go.

He found the right window to the room in mere seconds, and, seeing no one nearby, made no efforts to keep it in a mint condition, breaking it in instead. And as his frame slid into the dimly lit room, shattered glass all around his feet, he at first saw no one, and started already considering if all of that was some type of trap and he had finally been stupid enough to fall for something.

Yet, when his vision adjusted to the lighting, he noticed a pale, close to broken frame in the corner.

“Trust no one” was a phrase he, even though he refused to, lowkey held as his motto. So rising and pointing his gun at the stranger, with his eyes narrowed and fixated, he once again asked.

“Who are you?”

Only then he noticed your horror filled eyes. Eyes that showed they had only seen pain and violence in the last years to be, and eyes that even now displayed being afraid of all around.

“Don’t shoot,” he heard you whispering quietly, which immediately, for some reason, made him put his gun down. And right as he wanted to question, the door got kicked down, revealing no one but the guy he really didn’t want to face.

Pretty face Youngjae against the two meter 250 lbs giant who was known as the leader of this gang. How cute.

“Couldn’t get the plans, now tryna get the girl? She’s a whore and not worth it anyways, ya know?” he smirked, and without any more dialogue started firing. Youngjae immediately scurried over to the coffee table, kicking it over and using it as a shield. He tried to do his best, as always, but once again found himself struggling to properly aim back. And your broken frame in the corner didn’t help at all.

Your scared eyes didn’t help, and he was aware of what would happen if he would flee or if he would get shot and die here. He knew it all too good, as he’d had to face it all himself at some point.

You would be to blame. You would get scolded. You would get hit and abused. Called names. Locked up. Being used in all possible ways. Broken emotionally, as he had figured out who you were. A pet.

So he couldn’t leave. He couldn’t lose and he couldn’t leave. For the sake of you. For the sake of the stranger he had a lot in common, even though he didn’t know you personally just yet.

“Gun.”

He glanced at the leader who was too much in his own little universe to hear. But Youngjae’s perception of absolutely all there was on the battle grounds had always been sharp and precise, not missing a single little detail. So he sure had heard your knocks on the wooden floor, and was quick to pull out another gun and load it, as he was aware of the true meaning of the knocks..

It became ugly the second he stepped out. Shots were being fired all the time as both people played a game of dodge. And at some point, having backed off enough, Youngjae dropped the other gun off somewhere close to you, stepping away immediately and being beyond surprised that his “comrade” didn’t notice.

“Gotcha,” he had hesitated only for a second, and saw his gun flying out of his hand, being hit by a precisely aimed bullet.

“Game over, I guess,” the leader smirked, and, blocking all of Youngjae’s close combat skills that happened to not be the best, pulled him up by his hair, making him grit his teeth and let out a yelp.

“It was fun though, gotta admit. No one’s come his far yet, and I’ll miss you, my friend,” he smirked and Youngjae felt cold metal at his head. A gun pointed at his head. Nice. When was the last time this had happened - two years ago? Or was it earlier? Hell, he figured it didn’t really matter.

He was ready for it. Ready to pay for his mistake of not leaving sooner, and ready to pay for not paying attention. But he smiled still, for two reasons - one being the fact he had been told to have the most annoying and irritating sly smile of all, so he used it as a last revenge, and the other being the cause he would die from, which happened to be trying to save someone who had put all of their last hopes in him. And he hoped you could forgive him for being the way he was. For failing.

Yet it all faded as he saw that leader’s face suddenly shifting, his eyes becoming fogged as his body jolted up with an almost unnoticeable force a few times, and, the next thing he knew, he saw him slumping to the ground, falling on his stomach in front of him with gun still tightly clenched in his hand to expose a rather unpleasant sight.

Four shot wounds. Three in the back and one at the back of his head.

“A-are you alright?”

He snapped his head at the direction of the voice, seeing you kneeling on the ground, still holding the gun stretched out in your hands and pointed at the blank space where the leader used to stand. Your eyes locked with his, and you looked at him as he tried to process all that had just happened.

“Yeah. A scratch at the back of my head, nothing else.”

He was beyond phased, and so were you, yet that didn’t prevent him from starting to move in your direction, offering you a hand that you gladly took as he pulled you up to your feet, noticing light shivers coursing all over your body from the previous events.

“Youngjae,” he announced, looking at your intertwined hands and smiling down at them lightly, giving you a playful and light handshake as you blurted out your own name in response, seeing his smile unfold lightly.

“How can I help you?”

“You just did,” you looked away, suddenly pulling your hand from his and resting both your hands on your arms as you folded them over your chest. He figured this was a hard topic to talk about for you, and figured a thousand other different things in the meantime that he was hesitant to say out loud.

“Hostage?”

He only saw you nodding in response, and his stare immediately softened, knowing how it was to belong to someone who could care less about you, but would always remember how you could be of use to them.

“Look, I don’t want to scare you or anything, but as much info as I have, there’s still a bunch of associated people, some of them on their way here probably, so it would be better if we could somehow make it out of here as soon as possible, alive as well, if that's not too much to ask for-”

You accidentally dropped the gun you were still holding from your hand, immediately muttering a “sorry” and leaning down to pick it up. He figured that straight thinking wasn't quite possible for you currently - you'd just shot a man, and since you weren't used to it, it phased you. He also figured he could let his gentleman side slide for a bit, and leaned down to pick it up as well, just to freeze at the sight of your hand when it slid over the cold metal of the weapon and got a hold of it.

“(Y/N).. We have to take care of this,” his hand slid over yours suddenly, and for a moment you let it linger there for longer.

He traced over the red marks and the bloody bruises on your knuckles, all visually non-pleasing and deeply cut, indicating you had been doing what he figured was morse close to every single day in the past, not sparing yourself or your own flesh even a bit.

“No,” you pulled your hand away sharply, turning away from him and catching him by surprise, “I don’t need it to get taken care of. I am sentenced to death anyways now, so there’s no point.”

“They will come for me and kill me if they don’t find me lying all lifeless here instead,” you looked up at him with tears brimming at your eyes, seeing as he listened quietly, “I have nowhere to go. Even if I tried to flee, it would be of no use. I am no master at hiding myself. I don’t know what to do. In the blink of an eye, I would be-”

“Come along with me then,” Youngjae blurted out, taken aback by his own words the moment they left his mouth. But the puzzled stare you directed at him made him straighten out his back and stand strong for this offer he’d just come up with.

“Why would you want that?”

“You don’t know me,” you told him cautiously, feeling his soul-piercing stare, “I might be a spy or something. Someone who's against you. Someone to get rid of you and your gang as soon as we got out from behind the corner. You only know my name, and even that could be a lie, for all you know-”

“The eyes of a hostage don’t lie,” he simply answered, making you shut up immediately, “I know that too well. And, I already apologize in advance for the self-praise I’m about to spill, but I’m not an idiot. I have a quite sharp mind, actually. And I can see you mean no harm.”

A loud crash from downstairs followed, making your heads snap into the door’s direction.

“Crap, looks like we’re staying behind with all of this talking.. Say, how well can you climb building exteriors?”

You said “no”. You pleaded him to leave you or something, but he wouldn’t listen. And for a second, as he ushered you to come along, extending his hand from the other side of the window for you to take, you recalled how it was when someone took care of you. Someone thought of you and your well-being, wanting you to be fine and alright.

Was that what he was doing?

Only the second floor. For Youngjae, that was a piece of cake, and he smirked and seemed to be extra cocky as he saw your frightened and unsure frame. Yet his cockiness didn’t come in the way when it came to him helping you move around carefully. His hands secured you at all times, and even though you hoped he wouldn’t, he did notice how you flinched under his touch every time his hands came in contact with your body. You had lived through hell, after all, and were finally on your way to freedom. With hands gently holding you up and not bruising your skin.

“Stay behind me,” he ordered, looking around and trying to find a way back to his van that wouldn’t involve going through the mass of men that had gathered to inspect the situation outside the main entrance.

“On the other side of the house, there’s a way,” you told him quietly, seeing as he nodded, indicating he’d heard you, “Let’s walk around there. It will take a little longer, but there’s this fence that might cover us just enough to sneak away.”

He obeyed, making sure you did stay behind him at all costs though. And, when he was sure no one was watching, he sneaked away from the scene and to his van that was parked nearby, taking you along.

"Okay," he announced, starting up the surprisingly quiet engine and cautiously, not to attract any possible attention, started driving off, "Prepare for a long night. If you think this was the worst, congrats, you're wrong. Now you'll get bombarded with questions."

Unlike it was originally planned, he arrived back at the base last of all. And was the only one to come back from the mission unsuccessful, having tugged a girl back to the base as well.

“So, you want to tell me you had to dig up plans but you went around picking girls up instead?” Daehyun laughed, making you feel rather uncomfortable. But Youngjae had figured it would go down this way, and had warned you about it already.

“Not your damn business where we met,” Youngjae hissed in return, putting an arm on your hand and leading you away,“And not your damn business about the fact I couldn’t get that safe open-”

“Mastermind! And you’re calling yourself mastermind after all of this-”

“Well, you’re calling yourself an excellent shot even though there hasn’t been a mission when your ass hadn’t been saved by someone else,” chuckles could be heard all around, and you had to admit that this Daehyun guy looked kinda cute while looking furious and flustered at Youngjae’s statement.

“Youngjae hyung! I spared him twice today-”

“Who asked you, Junhong-ah!? You’re supposed to stay quiet!”

As this whole playful drama processed, you felt Youngjae tugging at your arm, leading you off to somewhere away from the noise and the playful accusations.

“This is mine and Daehyun’s room,” he announced as you stepped inside, taking a close look at all your surroundings, “But no worries, I won’t let him in here while you’re staying-”

“Wait, should I worry about him or..”

“No, not really,” he figured what you were talking about, chuckling in response, “He might try to give you a flirty glance or two, but he is beyond bad at picking up girls and talking to them. If he says anything, wave him away with one swift move and he’ll be gone-”

“(Y/N)..” he said quietly, seeing your slightly frightened stare and figuring your mind had gone into a less innocent direction. Your eyes were looking at his desperately, as if letting him know he had been the only nice person you have met in the past few years, and telling him you weirdly trusted him.

Because he was weird enough to put his life on the line in order to help you for literally nothing in return. For now at least.

“(Y/N), no, I didn’t mean it that way,” he hurried over, trying to face you as you turned away lightly, “Daehyunnie is an idiot, but he’s a harmless idiot.”

“Just like all of us, to be honest,” you looked back at him, seeing as his eyes looked at you pleadingly, trying to make you believe, “Well, as harmless as gang members cam be. Our hearts are in the right place.”

“May I know what’s going on?” you peaked over at the door, seeing a silhouette standing in the doorway, having come into the room rather uninvited. But from the mere looks he gave you figured he was the man in charge, and you didn’t dare to move or question as Youngjae did the same, staying silent and turning to him rather stiffly.

“I don’t know.. Would you be interested in hearing about a failed mission, commander?” Youngjae tilted his head, making you want to punch him in the gut lightly.

“He simply asked, do you have to respond such harshly?” you angrily whispered to him, making the man in the doorway laugh out loud as he had a sharp hearing, and had heard your remark perfectly.

“See, Youngjae? Even your new company thinks you should be more down-to-earth and should show some damn respect to your hyungs, or anyone, really,” he answered, walking further into the room.

“Before we start talking though, can you please take a look at this?” Youngjae, before you could register any movement, snatched your hand in his and held it up for Himchan to inspect.

“Be right back,” he said after sparing it a glance, vanishing from the room in order to get a first aid kit and leaving you two to be alone. Before Youngjae knew, your hand had slid out of his, and his stare followed it’s movements only merely as he knew - all that involved physical contact seemed rather uncomfortable to you. For now, at least.

Himchan, as it turned out to be, had a thing or two in store when it came to medicine - not that it required a lot of knowledge to bandage bruises anyways. But the way he did it with extra precision and care is what made Youngjae ask him to do it instead of attempting it himself. Whoever could do it better was in charge of the task, that's how it had always been. Or, well, more or less always.

“Where did you even get those?” he rose a brow at you to suddenly see your hand moving and tapping on the bedframe a few times.

“Practicing morse code.”

“Youngjae?” Himchan glanced over at him, being aware of what it was yet not understanding the tiniest bit of it, and nodding lightly as Youngjae translated.

“How about you morse with the other hand from now on though? Let this one rest,” he bandaged all up carefully, and, trying to come off as the ultimate authority, seated you and Youngjae on the bed, carefully listening to the whole story that he came to originally ask for earlier while walking back and forth in front of them.

“You’ll have to go back,” Himchan announced, seeing how Youngjae’s face twisted in displeasure and disagreement with that statement.

“Is it really of such importance that I have to risk this pretty face of mine for it-”

“If I told you to get it, you have to do it. It’s an order,” he said calmly, holding his grounds, “The sooner the better, by the way.”

“I fiddled around with the safe for a few minutes, and I thought I figured a pattern,” you saw Youngjae getting lost in his own little world, furrowing his brows and thinking about all he’d seen previously, “So maybe I can try to figure how to crack the code before going back to actually try to do it again.”

“Sounds good enough for me,” Himchan announced, heading to the door, “But you heard me. I know it seems like we still have tons of time left, but all of it will pass in the blink of an eye. We have to get it before the 26th, when the event was announced to take place. Otherwise the mission will become much harder than we’d like it to be. And maybe even too hard for us to handle.”

As Himchan left the room, you looked around cautiously once again, trying to figure what to do now.

“Youngjae..” you caught his attention, and saw his frame that had wandered across to look out of the window turning back to you, his eyes indicating he was listening carefully. There was something about him that made you calm at heart, yet you had all the rights to have your doubts against everybody. You had been hurt in the past, and even you were aware you were being more paranoid than you should be, you couldn’t bring yourself to trust anyone.

But then again, this was normal. Youngjae was still a stranger, and you couldn’t possibly know about his true intentions and colors just yet. You barely knew him, so you figured doubting his intentions was alright.

“What will happen to me now?”

Your question sounded quiet and unsure, and he immediately figured the matter.

“Oh, are you afraid now?” you saw a sly smile appearing at the corners of his mouth, and he shifted closer, walking as if nothing but his newfound intrigued and challenging attitude mattered in this world, “You definitely have reasons. You know things that you will probably be searched and chased for by those guys back home. And you know things regarding me now as well, which won’t really be in your favor either. I guess you’ll have to stick around, so no one would find out about this new knowledge of yours. How’s that sound?”

“Shoot me.”

He suddenly froze, and looked at you with shocked eyes. His mouth opened slightly in surprise as he tried to figure out your reasoning, and what even made you think that way. Yet you sat on the bed, looking past him and out of the window, into somewhere only you knew. And he hated not having eye contact. He hated not truly knowing what was the matter.

“Don’t hold me here. Don’t torture me. Don’t make me go through something I tried to end my life twice over, and couldn’t even do that peacefully. Don’t dare making my life yours.There’s not a lot of it left anyways-”

“I went overboard with the whole "gang member” attitude, right?“ he chuckled lightly, and you finally looked at him. His stare indicated he had felt something during your little monologue - something you didn’t quite know about. And for a moment you thought - maybe he knew how it was. Maybe he was familiar with the situation.

Or was he just a being loud mouth?

"Hey, see it this way,” he had already come to sit next to you on the bed, and lightly bumped your side, as if reassuring playfully, “We’re bad guys. So, so bad. But we’re the best of the worst. The Best Absolute Perfect-”

“Wow, isn’t that a little too over-confident and cocky?”

“Not really. It’s the gang name, actually. Best Absolute Perfect, a.k.a. B.A.P,” you looked up at him in light disappointment and fear for having offended him in some type of way, making him chuckle in return once more, throwing you a sympathetic look.

“But yeah. The point is that we had all once been hurt in our lives, and all ended up having nowhere to go, with some type of issue and problem on our hands that didn't let us live peacefully. In this house shots are fired every day, but not to cause harm - to prevent it. Not to make us the "rich, powerful bad guys”, but to make it a little safer for other people, so they wouldn’t end up as unfortunate for us.“

"Wow, look at me. I’ve become almost as outspoken as Himchan hyung,” he chuckled lightly, turning his head to the side and making you stare in confusion at his profile that you, only now for some reason, found to be rather pleasant looking.

“No shots fired if you have no guilt on your hands,” he turned to you and smiled again, bumping your side once more with his elbow and making you smile lightly in return and direct your stare to the ground, “I'm not some gross freak to keep people as pets for my own entertainment. Consider us friends now. So no worries. We’ll think of something, I promise. And don’t take my "sarcastic and cocky” attitude seriously, okay? I’m actually quite nice if I want to be.”

You were allowed to spend the night at the base, with Youngjae making sure Daehyun wouldn't walk into the room and make you feel awkward or uncomfortable, just as he'd promised.

“So, Prince Charming. And ideas on what to do with her now?” Daehyun’s tone sounded a little annoyed, a little amused. And only now Youngjae realized how truly irritating that type of tone was. This was one of the rare occasions Daehyun used it on him instead of vice versa, and he admitted he liked it the original way around better.

“I’ll take her along maybe for a while, I guess,” Youngjae scratched the back of his head, looking away as he saw two of the five people that were facing him break into particularly smug smiles.

“Daehyun-ah, Jongup-ah, stop fucking smirking before I punch those smiles off of your faces,” he said, staring one and then the other dead in the eye, “You’re so fucking disgusting and gross, both of you. I can already see where your minds are going-”

“What can I do? I see a pretty lady and I let my mind wander for a bit,” Jongup threw out carelessly, leaning back on the couch and putting his foot against the side of the coffee table in front of him, “Her curves really are nice, come on, you have to admit-”

“Jongup-ah, say, would you let your hands wander as well, or just your mind?” Youngjae suddenly stormed up front, surprising all as he went by and grabbed Jongup by the collar of his loose fit black t-shirt, lifting him to face him fully in this sudden outburst of rage.

“I mean, I could-” he only smirked in return, yet that smirk faded completely as he received a rather harsh and powerful slap to his face.

Youngjae stared right into his face for another second before getting yanked away by Himchan who tugged on his jacket just in time to prevent him from receiving a just as hard slap to his face as he’d just planted on Jongup’s face in return.

“Keep it together, you both,” Himchan hissed, elbowing Youngjae in the gut for pedagogical purposes and to make him realize he couldn’t just walk around his gang punching his members, no matter what they’ve said, “Jongup-ah, I doubt your punches will spill blood. And you only like it when blood is spilled. And to you, Youngjae - please, explain yourself before I tell you anything. I hope you know that I'm quite open-minded and understanding, but not without explanations given.”

“I don’t have to explain myself,” he answered abruptly, testing Himchan with his glance, “It’s pretty bloody obvious. And what truly irritates me currently is that I just told her how we actually do good. I told her what we fight for, without any additional sarcastic commentary. I said it the way you’d always taught me to say, hyung, and for the sake of god or whatever it is you fucking believe in, don’t make me doubt all of you.”

“If one of you dares to do even the least of things to her, anything - mean remarks and inappropriate moves count too - you’ll pay for it-”

“Please, narrow this "any of you” down to Jongup hyung and Daehyun hyung,” Junhong stated, his statement being more than valid, as Youngjae knew the other three would definitely do no foul moves. But Daehyun and Jongup were questionable.

"Hey, keep me out of this too. We only have one weird psychopath among us,” Daehyun pouted, crossing his arms and making Jongup smirk and chuckle in reply.

“Oh, look. It’s me again. Am I really such a fucking mannerless animal that you have to accuse me for things I have no intention of doing-”

“I really don’t trust you recently on anything,” Youngjae looked at him dead-serious in his eyes, making one of the other four gasp a little, “No need to hide it. There’s something about you that keeps me on the edge - not that I was completely for your existence in this team from the start - but recently you have really been doing questionable moves. And if I were you I’d consider if these accusations of mine are only assumptions or my start of digging up more info.”

Youngjae and Jongup were.. About the least dynamic of duos. Youngjae loved thinking beyond everything else while Jongup had completely left it aside. All of Youngjae's moves and actions had thought, while Jongup's were lucky split-second decisions, which seemed illogical and suspicious to Youngjae who couldn't believe the fact Jongup indeed always used no brain and all emotion. It all came from their pasts and the ways they became who they were nowadays, but it didn’t change the fact that they didn’t click at all. Which made things rocky sometimes.

“Maybe you’re the issue, Youngjae hyung,” he only smirked in return, rising from the couch and running a hand through his jet blue hair before his frame left the other five, heading to the door as he had apparently had had enough talking for the day.

“Maybe you’re thinking too much with that oh so intelligent brain of yours, thus slowly becoming.. I don’t know.. Insane, maybe? Although, it’s for the better. Maybe then we’ll click,” he said his final words, sliding out of the room.

“Shots fired,” Daehyun muttered out of nowhere, sitting on the couch and biting into a cookie that he'd literally gotten out of nowhere as if conversations of such kind were a regular thing around this building, “But hey, at least it serves as entertainment.”

And figuring it would be better to vanish before anyone could tell him off more, Youngjae started already heading to the door, before he recalled the reason he’d even started this heated conversation with Jongup - you.

“(Y/N)..” he cooed as he opened the door to the room you were in, being met with nothing but your sleeping frame, highlighted by the moonlight. Silently thanking the universe that you’d accidentally crashed out of his bed and not Daehyun’s, he gave you another glance before closing the door and letting you sleep here. Plans for going home were cancelled. He’d stay around somewhere here to do his thing for as long as he could keep his eyes open instead.

“Youngjae-ah…”

He awoke after feeling light tapping on his shoulder, and was quick to shoot his head up, trying to focus his still foggy stare on his surroundings.

“Did you sit here all night long?”

He recognized the voice from somewhere, yet was unable to recall the owner of it. Until his stare landed on you, and memories from the previous day came to mind. Ah, yes. He had acquired new company.

“Not to peak into things that don’t apply to me or anything, but.. Can I make a suggestion?”

He saw your hands tracing over the large amount of papers that were all around the table. It was just the two of you there, and the silence that surrounded you made it a little easier to concentrate on all you had to say. And as you took the pencil from him and started correction his patterns and schemes he’d assembled during the night, he tried to follow every thought and idea closely, trying to keep track of your trail of thought while not loosing his own.

He had been working on a way to crack the code of that safe for the whole night. And even though those patterns and possible combinations he’d thought of lacked in proper reasoning for the way he pictured them to be, your additional efforts to fix them up made them seem.. A little more rational. More well-thought out and hopeful to actually work.

“What else do you have in store that I don’t know about you?” he questioned, seeing as you chuckled lightly under your breath and leaned against the table, looking him in the eyes right after.

“Completely honestly? I don’t know what I’m capable of myself, but I hope to figure out in the nearest future,” you told him, turning away to look at the creaking door that revealed Daehyun walking in.

“(Y/N)?” you looked at Youngjae who had called your name, listening carefully. His face indicated he had prepared a longer rant, and yours showed you were ready to listen to it all.

“Now listen closely. We have to crack that safe open at all costs. It means having to go back there and having to face all that’s left of the gang. It won’t be nice, but it might just free you from all the painful past, so.. My suggestion is you stay with me until we sort it. You’re smart, I’m smarter - okay, maybe not, I don’t know that yet - but fact is, we might come up with a solution together. And since you know the building well, it would be even easier. So, how about this.”

He looked straight into your eyes, peaking at Daehyun who had wandered to glance at you two from the doorway only once, and gave you an offer you couldn’t possibly turn down.

“You help me crack the code, and I kill of everyone who could harm you. Deal?”

His hand extended into your direction, and with only mere hesitation you took it into yours, shaking it lightly in approval, since you had nothing to loose anyways.

“Deal.”

“Welcome to B.A.P then, kinda,” Daehyun called from the doorway, making you turn around to face him as he stepper forwards,”For a while, at least.”

“I hope you’ll stick around. People here have recently all been so moody and so negative, I need someone to tell my bad jokes to.”

Yeah, you hoped you’d stick around as well. After all, Youngjae seemed to have found a liking in you. And he promised - whoever is of no guilt, has nothing to fear in this house.

You glanced at him, feeling shivers going down your spine. But what happened to those who had once proven to be guilty? Since you had just killed a man yesterday, and knew that it didn't matter to him, because you'd killed the man off to save him. But did other gangs have the same logic, and what would happen if they did?

What would happen if you’d go back and never come out of there again, like the first time you were dragged in there by your arm and forced to stay?

You didn’t want to know.

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