#possibly abusive relationships

[six-legged-sea-leopard]

no i am not over how one of the first things kris does of their own accord without our input is to lay down their life for this weird ipad kid they met five hours ago no i am not over "hell yeah i am here to humiliate you fucker" no i am not over "did you miss me? because i missed you!" no i am not over how much not only susie but also kris (and ralsei) genuinely care about their new adopted little cousin guy and the fact that he went from having no friends at all to 3 ride or die bffs who were willing to do what every adult in his life failed to do which is stand up for him i-

#im gonna fucking throw up lancer's relationship with all of the fun gang is literally so important to me #hes gone his whole life surrounded by people but so incredibly alone for a multitude of reasons NONE of which are his fault #every grown ass adult in that castle knew he was suffering but did NOTHING about it #so to see these teenagers (OTHER KIDS) not only take him under their wing and include him whenever possible #but also stand up and say 'NO. no you will NOT get away with that' when his shithead dad abuses him #going so far as to put their own asses on the line for him because they fucking care #and lancer loves them back!!! hes saved the fun gang's asses twice in as many chapters #the first instance being when he did something he's NEVER done before and took up hands against his dad #the affection in his dialogue when he talks about kris and susie and ralsei #calls them all funny nicknames and says that he misses them... #shaking and crying and throwing up and falling down thr stairs and astral projecting #im so so os so so normal about these characters i promise #deltarune

[fayevalcntine]

The whole framing of Lestat as the sole symbol of patriarchy that fandom is so desperate to put him in doesn't work unless you deliberately ignore how he was also a victim of rape and abuse before he was turned. People want him to be fit into this strict role of "father figure/violent husband/perpetrator" that is only that and not even a whole person, and in doing so they need to push aside the fact that despite being his family's provider, he was also pushed into that role when his father forbid him from joining a monastery or gaining an education that he wanted. Lestat wanted to run away with a theater group as a kid, and actually managed to do so once Gabrielle gave him her blessing and monetary support in order to go to Paris. He didn't always want to be the provider, he was forced into that role and became despondent when he thought he would never get a chance to leave his home.

His new life prior to being turned is pretty much the antithesis to the whole "Lestat is a manly man who would sooner throw up than be compared to a woman" spiel: he lived with another man in Paris while also being an actor, having left his family and "responsibility" to them. The only family member he was ever close to was his mother, all the other male members shunned or ridiculed him. Add onto that the fact that his turning firmly placed him within the role of the damsel/victim: he's kidnapped from his bed by a stranger, taken into a tower and left to rot while being fed on for a week, before then being raped and violently turned all while never even being asked if he would consent to it in any normal circumstance. But you of course have to ignore all of this if you want him to only represent the aggressor/patriarch while Louis is the helpless unhappy matriarch of the family.

My issue isn't that I think Louis isn't a victim, it's that it's not unrealistic for Lestat to be an aggressor/abuser while also displaying traits that aren't regularly assigned to stereotypical depictions of male characters. He's abusive to Claudia while also having been a victim of abuse from his own family. He's not a good maker/teacher, but he also didn't even have one when he was turned. He's the provider/attempted protector of the family and seemed to like being that, while also having run away from his own family prior to this to act in a theater in Paris. He's a rich white man while also being obviously effeminate in public spaces, even to Tom's own bigoted humor.

Like Louis' own complicated story with being his family's benefactor and provider, you can't firmly place Lestat as being one thing or another in terms of gender ideals without deliberately ignoring parts about him that don't fit this. And I don't think it's an absolute necessity, when even in Louis' own story, Lestat isn't stripped of his effeminate mannerisms or behavior while also being the abusive maker/father/lover.

#interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #like even Louis doesn't try to act like Lestat was only ever the powerful 'daddy' of the house #if he was I doubt he'd even feature Lestat wanting to be king of mardi gras and doing that extremely flamboyant display #to the public's chagrin/disgust #the only people in awe of Lestat's peacocking are the women in ep7 like that man was NOT accepted by other rich men like Tom #and I don't point this out in order to dismiss the notion that he could be abusive/horrible #rather that it's completely possible for both things to be true? #also to the people that will likely go: but how does him being a victim of abuse negate him being a patriarch #idk maybe redirect your question to the Edwardian wife fanatics that think that no male character can be a victim unless he is assigned #the female while he is in a relationship with another man 🤷‍♀️ #I'll never forget how someone was also like 'Lestat fakes his femininity for the public' why? no one likes his effeminate ass anywhere #he holds more power by being white + rich than by being effeminate in order to ''''hide'''' his power which he never has or cared to #when Fenwick suggested to Louis to get a business under Lestat's name it's because Lestat being white could pass segregation laws... #not because his effeminate mannerisms grant him more favor.....

[aro-culture-is]

Aro culture is wanting to scream at your friend to just dump their hateful racist asshole boyfriend, while at the same time knowing that they won't listen to you because they are in love and apparently, that erases their ability for critical thinking

While also not saying any of that because it would be rude

A "hateful racist asshole boyfriend" sounds ripe for a situation in which your friend could be dating someone actively grooming them for domestic abuse.

In those cases, individuals often already have poor boundary control, and it's not the critical thinking actually missing: it's the security that creating boundaries doesn't mean losing someone who they feel cares about them. Judgements on their ability to "think clearly" are both misplaced and encouraged by the abusers, as worsening self esteem leads to an abuse victim seeking comfort... often from the abuser.

I think it's very, very important to recognize that the best thing you can do for them is to be there, continually reaffirm that they can always tell you anything, and rather than pressure them to break up... ask them to tell you about the relationship. You can guide them to red flags, but also try to present possible communication elements. There are guides online by great resources talking about how to best support these conversations.

And, of course, it's always possible it is simply that your friend actually is racist and they put up with the behavior because of that. It's not hard for some bigots to find an in through less overt bigotry. But I strongly encourage folks to realize that "in love with no capacity for critical thought" is a very dangerous warning sign that someone may be unable to recognize healthy boundaries, and worse - to recognize unhealthy boundaries.

#Anonymous #aro culture is #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod phoenix #advice #abuse cw #basically the communicate or break up discussion should only happen if there is recognition that something is wrong #before that you have to understand that you can guide them towards noticing problem behaviors... but there are a lot of people #who have never learned healthy boundaries or relationships #and for whom the discussion is going to necessarily begin with gently reaffirming that they are allowed to have boundaries #or - in some situations - starting from allowing them a space to explore for quite possibly the first time... what they want and don't want #maybe that's in the context of relationships and will lend itself quickly to learning about how liking/disliking can mean something #like the necessity of communication or boundary setting #but it's also very possible that they may need to begin with understanding alexithymia and learning to name those emotions #this doesn't mean that this work falls on you by necessity... but it really pays to recognize that people are irrational for a *reason* #and that reason usually is not knowing another way to respond or not having the capacity to respond another way #in that moment or in general

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

something heart-wrenching about the roman/gerri scene in 4.07 is that roman regretted firing gerri the instant he walked out of that room and he tried to get ken to undo it right away and he tried to get frank to smooth it over after, and when he approaches her, his technique, in lieu of acknowledging the awful way he treated her, is to pretend it never happened or wasn’t significant or wasn’t real and now they’re just back to their normal vibe, they’re still friends and she’s not fired. (he was just feeling fire-ish!) which is what happened every time logan was abusive to roman, and so roman’s used to rolling with reality kind of just rewriting itself around your suffering not mattering, and the bad things always going away. like you don’t look at it head-on, you just keep going. he teases her and asks her for advice because that’s the only way he can engage with her again, not because he’s oblivious to how monumentally he screwed up. (and it kinda surprised me that he was so determined to erase their recent fest of badness that he went all the way back to, like, their early-s3 relationship dynamic. going WAY back in time! gerri, please show off how smart and hot you are!) but gerri has the strength to draw boundaries and shut that shit down immediately -- although not soon enough to save herself from some heartbreak -- instead of giving him a pass for mimicking the abusive behavior of his father. roman is at his worst in this ep, but the reason behind it tracks so well with what’s shaped him psychologically and emotionally, and it’s so Bleak.

#romangerri #roman x gerri #roman roy #dollsome's deep thoughts #abusive patterns poisoning your relationships with the people you care about most nooooooo #with the one person who didn't think you were a joke :'( #anyway i need to shut up about them #but this was stuck in my brain #everything just makes so much emotional sense and it's HELL! #succession #succession spoilers #when 'you're not your dad' is the greatest compliment she could possibly give you but you're psychologically incapable of seeing it that way

[transmascutena]

thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

#akio and utena #m #long ramble in the tags sorry: #the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human #he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims #he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry. #and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios #(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think. #like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her #i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing #not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that. #and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did #but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her? #whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway #idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims #the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it? #how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions. #(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive #but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.) #when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her #but is there something genuine there too? i don't know. #again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me. #on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had #reflected back at him through her mean anything? #is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid. #either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over. #i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways) #but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly #wants you to analyze and think about. #which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.

[thedroloisms]

What’s really frustrating is seeing people say “Tommy should’ve known”/“How did Tommy NOT know about his behavior” and it’s just not something you say? Ever? It’s like asking Shelby how she didn’t see the warning signs. When you’re deep in it— when you’re THAT close to someone— you’re going to not see the red flags that someone on the outside might be able to see. Tommy’s an immature guy and he fucked over Dream, yes. However he’s probably reeling over the realization his “big brother” abused someone.

god, for sure. ive also seen people talk about how "if you saw him manipulating you and your friends why didn't you SAY ANYTHING!!!" and it's just ... i'm sorry uh. do you guys not. understand. like there's a power dynamic? there's a power dynamic here people. that's ,,, part of how manipulation in this manner works. like, i know people are saying this because they don't like the person in question, and while i'm not exactly their biggest fan either, being a shitty person doesn't prevent you from being a victim, and vice versa. like, just because you might not like this person or think that they're a shitty person bc of various reasons doesn't make victim blaming suddenly okay, you know.

#the askers #abuse #like ... with to mmy specifically people have literally in this scenario been spreading clips of wi.lb ur being physically aggressive #towards him. like. obviously it's a difficult scenario no matter how you cut it when someone you're obviously close to #ends up being a shitty person that hurt a lot of people. but also uh look their relationship has had certain . concerning elements #for a long ass time. and we're talking about a guy that's had SO MANY of his professional and personal acquaintances #come out now and say that they personally have been a victim of his manipulation or know people who are #or you know. gestures at clips of him apparently biting a lot of people around that group in that area or whatever #like look we are in a situation where these patterns of behavior were extending to basically everyone he knew #so like. in the least truthy way possible bc /i dont know/ i dont know them i dont know their relationship #but also i can see patterns and i want to take the safest approach to this in terms of what im expecting from to . mmy's #hypothetical response. why are people assuming that he's just magically spared from any of this and has to just be like #a complete bystander??? why is the immediate assumption that there's no way he could be hurt as well #by someone described by associates as being manipulative to quite literally everyone he meets

[painted-bees]

okee good morning...answering this for real now lmao

Required reading for context first!:

https://www.tumblr.com/painted-bees/714138097261150208/lark-wren-lark-needs-to-drag-her-focus-kicking

https://www.tumblr.com/painted-bees/713687883290214400/thinkin-more-about-magritte-and-rafael-because-of

Raf and Magritte, before meeting Cortes, had become pretty iron clad as a pair. As skittish/paranoid as Raf can be, Magritte had proven time and time again that she adores Raf for being Raf, and not what he can be used for nor what she imagines he should be. He’s no longer waiting for that other shoe to drop with her, like he’s usually waiting on with literally anyone else. Magritte’s love, so far as he can tell--and deliberately elects to believe in--is completely unconditional. Raf has only ever had three...four people he trusts to see him as himself and do well by him: his grandmother, his uncle, Magritte, and Cortes.

Magritte, of course, genuinely does adore Raf, thinks he’s very sweet--thinks he’s got a -lot- of baggage and needs some proper patience and a gentle kind of love. But he’s very patient with her, doesn’t yell at her for forgetting things or forgetting to -do- things, and just seems to genuinely love having her around, and doesn’t get annoyed when she’s excited about stuff and it’s just...so refreshing.

Needless to say, Raf and Magritte are ride or die for each other. Raf is extremely protective of Magritte’s infectious enthusiasm, optimism, and her overall penchant to see the best in every situation and every person. Magritte just wants to see Raf have an easier time of things and find joy in the stuff that is joyful again.

Raf and Magritte met Cortes...strangely: https://www.tumblr.com/painted-bees/715850323888160768/the-water-between-the-discovery-islands-off-the

Cortes is their...adopted cryptid gf, they kinda have this inherent understanding that Cortes is more a force of nature than anything else. She comes and goes as she pleases, is wholly aloof to the world around her outside of Raf and Magritte (whom are the clear objects of her affection during her little ‘human-kind’ cosplay adventure). Sometimes Cortes is gone for a month or so at a time, with no indication of where she went or what she’s doing. But Magritte and Raf both inherently kinda...know...she’ll be back and she’s fine. 

Raf and Cortes have a very quiet, chill kind of relationship--very low energy in the comforting way. The relationship version of “lowfi beats to study to” lmao. 

Magritte and Cortes have a very playful, mischievous relationship and Cortes encourages Magritte’s childish impulses--both good and peevish lmao they are a chaotic duo...but they somehow always get away with what ever trouble they end up finding themselves in together. 

Neither Magritte nor Raf (nor anyone, really) find anything unsettlingly strange or off putting about Cortes--she’s not even all that weird, really. Just a unique kind of charisma. 

#Cortes #as an aside: #as paranoid as Raf is about people's motivations he's never one to speak poorly about other people #UNLESS that person has victimized other people. Then it's not just his own bad vibes anymore it's real. #and a real problem. #But Raf was raised to not make a fuss or cause problems when his own autonomy etc is being infringed upon #BUT he does not like to let it happen to other people #and has a negative integer patience for abusive behaviors when he clocks extrinsic instences of it between other people. #Meanwhile Magritte is just happy to be in a relationship where she's not constantly tense about forgetting things #she hates being yelled at #hates hates hates it it makes her cry #but Raf has never yelled at her--she didn't think it was possible for anyone to have that kinda patience with her lmao #cus she's always forgetting things and forgetting to do things and people always take it as a sign that she doesn't care #but she does #a lot. #Hi-Note #magritte #rafael

[blonde-and-cat-suc]

If Adora and Catra both did crap to hurt each other then why do I never see comics abt Adora feeling like crap and feeling bad for hurting Catra

#salt salt salt #old draft post that i had stewing in here #even fandom knows. they KNOW. that c//a is not an equal relatioship. #equal c//a would have these two ALWAYS arguing back and forth with each other about things from the past. possibly working them out togethe #equal c//a FANON would naturally reflect this following that same logic #so why is it when we see the premises of “Adora has to apologize to Catra now” its the same tired old... #“Im sorry i left you in the Horde” #and nothing else. #“im sorry that your feelings were hurt and im sorry that you had no influence over me at that time... Im sorry that you're STILL mad at me” #she's not apologizing over something that she is genuinely sorry about #she's apologizing in these fanon works as a means to placate catra (and fans' warped reality of what this relationship actually is) #it's a shitty vaguely disguised way to “equalize” c//a and make it so that they BOTH look like awful people #when obviously this is not the case because the narrative itself doesn't think Adora is wrong for leaving the Horde! #even if these two were “equally bad” to each other. why ship them then. really. seriously. i get the rhetoric of “ooh toxic spicy ship” but #if they're really SO “toxic and spicy” where is the part where they're BOTH toxic? BOTH bad for each other? #it's not a toxic relationship if ONE side is toxic. thats called an abusive relationship. anyway. im done now. good night. #whoops! tag rant

[wolfsbanesparks]

I just realized that Billy lying about Captain Marvel being his dad could totally work out in other ways as well, because in the movie, Billy lied to the security guard about him being his and Freddy' dad. I'm just thinking that could lead to rumors and funny situations in which the Justice League learns of this and starts asking questions

Oh for sure! There is some major humor and hijinks potential in Cap pretending to be Billy’s dad. And him pretending to be Freddy’s dad would be hilarious especially since Freddy’s classic superhero name is Captain Marvel Jr. Like they're basically asking for a misunderstanding to happen!

The JL would have so many questions especially if Cap started using his kid(s) as an excuse for why he couldn't do certain things.

#ask me whatever you want y'all #billy batson #shazam #dc captain marvel #freddy freeman #captain marvel jr #fake dad Cap gives me life #and Freddy would quite possibly abuse that fake version of their relationship #it could be so fun

[faytears]

no bc how fucked up is it that hunter grew up surrounded by adults that did not give a shit abt him and had no moral compasses...this is all speculation but i cant help but think how unsafe an environment that must be for a child to exist in.  w the exception of Team RED these r all extremely manipulative people that hunter watched constantly backstab each other (which clearly impacted the way he viewed friendships in general) that include the likes of terra snapdragon and adrian graye.  even when he attained a position of authority they did not respect him and probably saw him as just some nepotism baby.  like no wonder hunter latched on to belos if all the coven heads were outwardly just creeps w ulterior motives.  there was literally no other adult he was sure cared abt him besides his uncle and belos knew that and used it to his advantage

#toh hunter #hunter toh #toh #the owl house #toh spoilers #emperor belos #raine whispers #toh darius #darius toh #toh eberwolf #eberwolf toh #terra snapdragon #adrian graye #child abuse tw #this is all assuming hunter spent his childhood in the castle but i cant imagine where else he could possibly have grown up lmao so. #laying on the floor at 2 am thinking abt how fucking sheltered and isolated hunter was all his life #there was never gonna be any support system in the castle for him and belos KNEW that #obv there is raine who is incredibly kind but theyre just one person. they probably tried their best for him but i doubt #they wouldve been able to spend much time w him one on one :( although its implied that they had a positive relationship #w darius i dont think he was ever outright cruel to hunter but i also dont think he could stand to be in the same room as him lmao #it was probably too painful and frustrating + if the beginning of asias is anything to go by #he had a LOTTT of bitterness towards the kid el oh el... #and eberwolf is eberwolf need i say more. #oh and cant forget former ec head lilith who saw him as just some brat <3 #like. THINK ABT IT. someone shouldve called boiling isles CPS years ago #mine

[ultimateinferno]

You know. I think it kind of flattens Makima's character to presume the limits of her manipulation begin and end with sex appeal. Like even if it's not through the lens of Denji's impressionable teen sexuality, there is in some expectation that those she preys upon are in some manner attracted to her. Within the limits of the narrative that's fine enough since the themes largely involve sex and intimacy in some way. I think the nature of Makima as the Devil of Conquest/Control actually broadens her toolkit when it comes to relationships.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think so long as some form of positive relationship with her is initiated--be it sexual, romantic, familial, platonic or whatever--she has a foothold in a person's psyche enough to influence and subjugate them given enough time. Because the thing is, to her all relationships is a power dynamic in some way, and she's always trying to put herself on top. While a lot of her characterization is indicative of succubi, her nature encompasses all forms of control.

She's the manager who impairs working conditions, pinning it all on corporate and painting herself as just another worker standing her ground. She's the best friend fighting the whole world for you, while always subtly pitting you against it. She's the parental figure, just trying her damnedest to keep you afloat, but you keep wasting it.

Ultimately, I think the only true consistency with Makima's relationships is the end goal. Fostering total dependency.

#chainsaw man #csm #makima #チェンソーマン #csm spoilers #chainsaw man spoilers #you've probably seen the ''makima wouldn't call you slurs'' post that offers another perspective of her character #namely through the lens of a wlw #it's a very good post far more concise and well written than this thing #but i think her nature can be further extrapolated to all relationships #afterall kishibe has outright said that *all* of her relationships were built on this facet #in fact it's been implied that the japanese government groomed her--which i discussed in another post #so i just wanted to share my thoughts that i think even if who she is lies far outside of your sexuality her influence doesn't just fizzle #but that she will still try to find away to place herself above you #makes her more interesting as a character and the abuse that is possible in all kinds of relationships

[oblako]

she is just a girl who is so so scared </3

#i love yoo #x #the narrative is set up to make us hate her but i could never hate her <//3 #when it switched to their younger selves... that hurt 😔💔 #she was so scared then and she's still so scared now #so controlled by fear it influences everything she does and she keeps digging herself deeper and deeper into this hole #yui 'saved' her from one abusive environment only to put her into another abusive environment #took her out of one cage and put her into another #and alyssa views her as her savior #it's just so tragic bc alyssa is so unlikely to get a happy ending and it hurts my heart <//3 #someone please save this girl. but at this point who's gonna do it? #i have so many thoughts on alyssa and nol and their conversation #how they both just don't talk don't listen aren't honest with each other #and how similar yet different they are and how that's what makes them so incompatible #how the timing of the conversation couldn't possibly be worse!!! my god #alyssa went to nol bc she needed to be comforted by a friend and she doesn't really have anyone else #but at that point nol was so done pretending so done with his fake relationships #so hurt by her and on behalf of shinae as well #(and rightfully so) #it all just crashed and burned #alyssa really was doomed by the narrative from the very beginning #the tragedy of it all is just killing me 👍

[mrgaretcarter]

Honestly I think it would do us all well to go back to kinda cringy feminism again for a little bit idk cause I think maybe for some people the discourse somehow circled back around to supporting sexism just rebranded or whatever so its more aesthetic

#personal #instead of progressing the discourse into idk more inclusion of women of color and trans women #it went in the direction of like glorifying women being stupid and romanticizing beauty standarts #also weird centering of men all over again in feminism and in general for some reason #remember in the early 2010s when emma watson was like obliterated for that 'he for she' campaign #because it prioritized men in feminist discourse and then thats the exact direction where things went later on (and where it is currently) #people care more abt like 'haha this is my golden retriever bf he drinks respect women juice!' than about actual women speaking abt feminis #like being a feminist isnt about social change and women prioritizing each other its abt how dudes are hot when they do the bare minimum! #also have you noticed the rise in lesbophobia both in the sense of persecution of lesbians themselves #and of lesbians relationships and culture which other wlw are also part of (its giving lavender menace) #and also remember how we had the me too movement and then immediately after #everyone still fell for a smear campaing against a victim of domestic abuse? #anyway i would really love to get back to basics of like women should support each other! #and beauty standarts overwhelmingly negatively affect women and girls! #and we still need to incentivize girls to seek out intellectual pursuits especially in STEM and leadership roles! #because we continue to be underpresented in those fields and the only way to enact change is to bring our perspectives to those areas #instead of asking politely for guys to throw us a bone! #also stop acting like its cringe to openly and vocally center and prioritize women in every sphere of our lives possible! #and also maybe go back to actively trying to do that! and considering that a good thing!?? #because we're the ones who should have our backs most of all?? idk idk #also where are the teeth?? #why is everyone so afraid of being angry now??? #its like some people circled back to being afraid of being mistaken for man-hating or something #just for pointing out common sense aspects of oppression without adding an asterisk about how men suffer too! #i thought we all knew there is no such thing as reverse sexism!!! #idk!!! #and this isnt me condoning choice feminism many women are evil and actively work against their own interests #or antagonize other women to make themselves feel important such as terfs etc #but idk its like everyone internalized that 'well women can suck too' so hard that its become like #'*most* women suck and we dont even have to keep trying to empathize and prioritize each other and our issues anymore'

[awesome-cookies-and-cream]

shirosaki and momose's relationship is so funny to me. shirosaki is an airhead but has a very good sense of responsibility. so he sees this guy who he inspired and decided to take him in (and went absolutely extra especially after realizing how shit his previous boss was). Then there's momose who hasn't had a good relationship since his employment, he'd take any morsel of kindness and be a hundred times grateful for it to the point he doesn't just tolerate shirosaki's goofiness, he adores it (anything is better after his previous boss after all)

so now they're in a weird ??? is this what normal people do??? relationship

#atarashii joushi wa do tennen #my new boss is goofy #shirosaki and momose: wow i am so gonna get a good grade in work and friendship dynamics #something that is normal to want and possible to achieve #making out and having sex: #yes im getting a good grade in work relationships #no they haven't confessed #they haven't even realized they have feelings for each other #shirosaki is probably goofy enough for people to think he's annoying #and momose's an abused trainwreck #they just think their feelings is what Normal Friendship should be

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

I will never stop screaming about the untapped potential of Shouto and Fuyumi's relationship

#its really a part of how shouto basically became a side character in what was supposed be his own arc #and so much focus was put on endeavour #but seriously #weve had focus on natsuo and touya to a degree #but fuyumi and shouto were the only other people than their abusive dad in their house for at least a year #and even before then rei was gone and we dont see any staff like cooks or cleaners or healers #so we can assume fuyumi spent more time around shouto than anyone aside from endeavour #possibly since rei was burned (when shouto was 5/6) #also shouto only ever uses his ice up till the sports festival and we can assume endeavour wasnt teaching him #so who was?? who also has an ice quirk of unknown power?? who again would have the most access to shouto out of sheer necessity?? #all im saying is fuyumi and shouto SHOULD have had their relationship explored esp given hes more like his mom than his dad #fuyumi todoroki #shouto todoroki #mha #my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #todoroki family #anti endeavour #anti enji todoroki

[astranauticus]

ok i like rushed through the whole orv webtoon way too fast so now i have thoughts going in like 5 different directions but ep121-123 drive me so fucking insane actually. every time i think about those two conversations i have to sit down

#orv #orv liveblog #like i feel like depictions of childhood abuse in fiction tend to depiction the relationship as some version of #'the one evil violent parent and the one good parent trying their best (it wasnt good enough)' #see: the twins parents from lc s2 is the obvious one but also like #going back to my roots lol but enji and rei todoroki? or hell even fire lord ozai and ursa #yknow theres this idea of like theres the one who was trying! and the one who fucked it all up #well yeah rei's the one who scarred her sons face but thats so obviously framed as like a trauma response outside of her control #like its not something youre reeaally meant to blame her for yknow #the WHOLE idea with kim dokja's conversation with yoo sangah is whether he's supposed to blame/forgive lee sookyung #wait ok those conversations drive me so insane like im feeling the alevel literature urge to fuckin close read quotes #that one line where he thinks like this is the vilest form of violence he can use against sangah goes by SO fast but it hit me SO hard #the idea of asking her to put herself in this nightmare situation she has no frame of reference for understanding or empathising with #and then asking her as someone who she rly cares about! to be the judge in this situation she cannot possibly fully grasp #and all of that being framed as an act of violence towards her. like asking her to do this knowing she cant possibly do it #but also 'did you want me to seem pleased to see you' 'a little (lie)' and 'do you think of me as a mother' 'a little (lie)' #like the pretense of a normal relationship over the yeah we know our relationships fucked over the #unfortunately we still talk and think in the same way and we understand each other way too well #ok wait but circling back to the original point. i saw this fucking incredible fanart on twitter that sort of goes into the like #how do you?? handle?? not knowing if youre supposed to blame your parent for something that they did that hurt you #like its this little animation thing thats all in kdj's internal monologue except for one line where its him saying #'im terrible. i deserved what she did to me' #and its like. yeah that would be easier huh. like the self loathing is easier to handle than the confusion and cognitive dissonance #full disclosure i saw that fanart literally a year ago before i knew jack shit about orv and the sentiment hit me SO HARD i just #havent been able to stop thinking about it for a whole year. like as soon as i finished 123 i immediately went to look for it in my archive #i checked the artist has a tumblr but that art is not on it and it bugs me so much i want them to know that they somehow like #managed to make art so painful it defeated both my non-orv reading self and my lifelong severe memory problems #i mean in comparison that line (that also went by alarmingly fast) about how without twsa back then like kdj would not be here today #like not so much to dig into just. Yikes #and him telling ysa all of this with that fucking smile on his face like thats the part that really gets to me just his *fucking expression