#prime really fucking SPOILED us with a more open shadow
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RIGHT SO UHM. Sorry my thoughts are really scattered right now but. Ok so Shadow was a LOT more reserved in those last two episodes. Which thinking about it makes a LOT of sense going off of how he usually is in other medias. I think I just forgot that that's how he usually is when he's around people because Prime really spoiled us with a much more open and emotive Shadow.
and then it fucking HIT ME. LIKE. A. TRAIN.
He was more open and emotive when Sonic was the only one there. He openly showed his frustration, his feelings, his competitiveness etc. He just... He was so much more open. and it was ONLY around Sonic.
And that really makes that scene just after Sonic had the prism energy removed. His mask fell for just a second! You could see how hard he was trying to hold onto his stoicness. And even after that! He was trying so hard not to show his real emotions. Until all the plans failed to get Sonic back to green hill. The way first braced Sonic up and then when away from the Roses' he switched to carrying Sonic. "I didn't know you were such a hugger." I would have dropped him right there lmfao. And his stoic demeanour crumbling the closer they got. The desperation in that "hang on Sonic!" THE THREE SONICBOOMS.
Just. UUUUUUUUUUUHGGGGG. This is actually making me fucking insane. Idk man just something about Shadow only being comfortable to be open around Sonic does things to me guys. what the fuck
#prime really fucking SPOILED us with a more open shadow#like i actually forgot thats not how he usually is around other people#sonic prime#sonic prime spoilers#sonic prime s3#sonic prime season 3#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonadow#sth#sonic#i am mentally ill about this
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SPOILERS FOR SANJUNO’S NANO 2020 PROJECT
No Evil Abolishing Resentment System
Transmigrator!Madara meets Reincarnator!Tobirama (… 55 times in a row.)
For NaNoWriMo 2020 – How Many AUs Can I Fit In One Fic?
· 0 Tails Interlude
o Meet Sanzan-han
o Introduction to System driven Quick-Transmigration isekai plot
o “The seeds of evil are as follows, to hear of evil and take no action against it, to see evil and take no action against it, to speak of evil and take no action against it.”
o “To do nothing in the face of evil is not a neutral act.”
o “The only thing required for evil to flourish is for good people to do nothing.”
· 1st World:
o Crystal Nuclei Zombie Apocalypse with Ability Users and levelling up AU
o Politician!Madara ended up being shoved into a zombie tide by people who thought he was too strong/disliked him before the apocalypse
o Scientist!Tobirama really regrets not preventing that when Zombie Emperor Madara breaks through the city walls and kills everyone in Konoha Base
o Reborn!Tobirama is determined to complete the vaccine he was working on in his first life – also keep Madara alive so he can’t become a super zombie
§ Tobirama would like to say he is surprised by Madara’s competency in zombie annihilation but he remembers how terrifying Zombie King Madara was so he really isn’t shocked that Empowered Human Madara is just as much the living embodiment of Nightmare Fuel
o Madara as evolved Zombie catnip with a mouthy pet fish
§ Madara is absolutely disgusted by the Z-poc Virus undead they are gross, rotting, and go squelchwhen he hits them.
§ Some zombie bits get stuck in Madara’s hair. He has a screaming tantrum and promptly sets the entire horde on fire.
§ Pro-tip: Career politicians should avoid indulging in a crying fit over getting their precious beautiful hair dirty during a fight if they want to be taken seriously by their military escort even if they areso hilariously OP they can indulge in whiny hysterics and not die horribly as a result
o The Zombies are Zetsu
o Oh look Madara’s blood has the key component to creating the zombie vaccine who would have thought
o There is so much angry sex for stress relief, just… so much
o
· 1 Tail Interlude
o Madara is pissed off that he accidently ended up in a relationship with Tobirama
o Madara wants a refund on this System
o Sanzan-han explains the fine print of “No Evils Abolishing Resentment System” – the Target must have resentment both towards Madara and from Madara
o Madara’s first world was intended to lock his target
o Switching targets will result in a full reset of his karma to level 1 – no cheating by using his previous incarnations accumulated points to get a head start any more
o Madara’s only other valid targets approaching Tobirama’s stats were Hashirama and Mito
o Madara could target someone else but without the heavy accumulation of karma like the Senju-Uchiha bloodfeud situation it would take thousands of lifetimes to accrue 10 tails
o Madara is so mad ^_^
· 2nd World
o Japanese Classic Fable AU
o Crane Wife!Madara being Tsundere with his husband
o Madara is accused of theft and Scholar!Tobirama is convinced to spy on his wife’s weaving
o Madara gets caught ripping out feathers to weave into silks that are sold to pay for Tobirama’s exams
o Madara flies away and is shot down by hunters
o Reborn!Tobirama who is more than a little obsessed with making sure his wife doesn’t have a reason to fly off again
o Madara doesn’t really understand why Tobirama is trying to prevent him from doing anything productive this is weird
o Zetsu is a corrupted monk trying to capture Madara for his feathers/demon core
· 3rd World
o Galactic Empire Mecha Pilots with psychic powers and enhanced bodies versus the Zerg Horde
o Arranged Marriages for the noble class occur based on genetic advantages rather than affection
o Ace Pilot/Mecha Engineer!Tobirama pays less than zero attention to his nominal spouse and heir in favour of developing weapons to fight against the Zerg
o SSS Ace Pilot!Madara resigned to being ignored by spouse, makes friends with in-laws for sheer spite
o Madara framed for sabotage – dies holding off a Zerg swarm
o Science child!Kagami killed by kidnappers
o Reborn!Tobirama pays better attention to his spouse and child while fighting to end the Zerg threat
o The Zerg are Zetsu
o Madara rolls his eyes and sets the Zerg Queen (Kaguya) on fire – Tobirama confused and aroused by his spouse
· 2 Tails Interlude
o Madara wants to know if he’s going to be required to save the world every single time he’s due to earn a new tail
o Sanzan-han: Sources say “probably”
o Madara would question the heavy-handed implication that Zetsu was just using him but he’s still super pissed off about being trapped in a cave for 50 years and then possessed by a demon goddess thing so he’s more than willing the blame Zetsu for all the horrible things that happened
· 4th World
o Japanese Mythical Creature AU
o Kitsune!Madara saves the life of War General/Prince!Tobirama from Yin poisoning
o There’s a snowstorm and Madara has to warm Tobirama up
o Madara is a Calamitous Beauty and killed by cultists who wanted his demon core
o Reborn!Tobirama is doing his best to take responsibility
o Zetsu is the cultists who poisoned Tobirama and killed Madara
o Madara is super pissed off but the shrine and the garden Tobirama builds for him are really nice so maybe he won’t claw the pasty bastard’s face off
· 5th World
o Super Heroes and Villains in a Megamind AU
o Pyromaniacal Villain!Madara “Moon Eye” is obviously an alien and the arch nemesis of the city’s most beloved Hero, Treeman
o Aquatic Hero “Flying Thunder”!Tobirama’s civilian-marine biologist ID keeps getting kidnapped
o Reborn!Tobirama needs to keep Madara sane and honestly that’s easier than it sounds because Madara gets adorably flustered when given sincere compliments and is hilariously easy to distract with questions about his obviously-also-alien pet fish
o #I accidently started dating my brother’s arch nemesis #what do I do? #waiting online for answers
o Sanzan-han is Minion and really likes the exo-suit
o Zetsu is an evil shadow organization trying to take control of the heroes for world domination reasons
o Madara has an invisible Susanoo and as ridiculous as this world can be he’s having fun in it
o “PRESENTATION!”
· 6th World
o Immortal Cultivators AU
o Borderline-demonic/Unorthodox Sect Leader!Madara is getting chased around by Righteous Sect Inner Disciple!Tobirama because Madara keeps nabbing all the good secret treasures that Tobirama needs to prevent the demon realm from breaking free and invading
o Reborn!Tobirama realizes in hindsight that Original Goods!Madara was also trying to prevent the Demon Realm invasion because the Righteous Sects didn’t listen to his initial warnings
o Tobirama eventually pins Madara down as his Dao companion to get access to the booty loot Madara has collected/protect Madara from being targeted by unscrupulous treasure hunters
o The demons/demonic spirits are Zetsu
o Madara is playing whack-a-Zetsu and doesn’t have time for Tobirama’s nonsense
· 3 Tails Interlude
o Sanzan-han praises Madara for his top-notch seduction skillz
o Madara is So Done with this stupid godsdamned fish
o Sanzan-han mentions but doesn’t explain that the accumulation of “affection points” will start having a notable effect on Tobirama soon – so gambatte, Mada-sama!
o Madara tries to ignore the constant hooking up in favour of plotting new ways to kill Zetsu – seeing as the creature is the only thing he can kill in the Other-Worlds without losing the “ExP” that will allow his return home
· 7th World
o Geode Betting Modern AU
o Carver!Madara is a picky spoiled artiste who got blamed for ruining Tobirama’s family
o Reborn-with-Treasure-Senses Appraiser!Tobirama is determined to “get revenge in advance” on Madara only to realize what a dork Madara is
o Tobirama frantically backs off on his face-slapping plot only to overcompensate his way into dating a crazy artist
o #oops
o Zetsu are the yakuza involved in rigging the Geode betting
o Madara is confused by the lack of open warfare but thinks this is a nice vacation
· 8th World
o Greek Monsters AU
o Gorgon!Madara has the strongest stone-gaze in History
o Heroic Demigod!Tobirama arrives to take off Madara’s head for prophecy reasons
o Tobirama’s Quest ends in tragedy – turns out ghosts/guardians of the Underworld don’t turn to stone so Tobirama can’t bring his little brothers out using Madara’s decapitated head
o Madara is hiding from Reborn!Tobirama because he wants to keep in head on his neck, fuckdammit and accidently interrupts the murder of Kawarama and Itama via even more accidental kidnapping
o Tobirama just wants to apologize for overreacting to a very ambiguously worded prophecy that he self-fulfilled – Tobirama is really, really very sorry, really – also wtf give him back his baby brothers
o Zetsu is the Oracle of Kaguya who killed Tobirama’s little brothers and wanted Tobirama/Madara cursed/dead
· 9th World
o Sentinels and Guides are Known AU
o SSS Guide!Madara is 100% going to cut a bitch if these special fucking snowflake godsdamned Sentinels don’t piss off and leave him alone
o 6-sense Alpha Sentinel Prime!Tobirama does not want a Guide who will only slow him down with their coddling nature
o Tobirama rejects Madara/doesn’t acknowledge their nascent connection
o Reborn!Tobirama wakes up out of a zone – wakes up after pulling the Guide he recognized far too late as his own out of the depths of the bay – and promptly terrifies his entire family by going hyper-focused and borderline feral as he takes off to hunt down his Guide
o Tobirama’s Guide – his Guide who is still alive – still alive and not drowned
o Reborn!Tobirama has some lingering trauma to work through btw
o Madara terrifies so many people when he starts inducing hallucinations as a defense mechanism
o Zetsu are dark Sentinel cult masquerading as a shady government organization
· 10th World
o Classic D&D AU
o Harpy Queen!Madara is being plotted against
o Necromancer!Tobirama regrets killing Madara and keeping his soul in a jar when he finds out the truth
o Tobirama let’s Izuna “mete justice” – protip: Uchiha Harpies are actually Furies
o Reborn!Tobirama decides he quite enjoys being Madara’s concubine
o Madara lays an egg
o The Demon Gods trying to break loose and destroy all life get kicked back into the Underworld – insert Zetsu smiting here
o Hashirama is traumatized by his little brother’s loincloth
· 4 Tails Interlude
o Madara throws an epic tantrum over the egg-laying thing
o Sanzan-han doesn’t understand his deal but obligingly flees screaming in terror anyway
· 11th World
o Imperial Court AU
o Fire Priest!Madara is given as a “bride” to Imperial Prince Tobirama to remove Tobirama from the line of succession
o Tobirama considered a “holy child” by the Fire devotees due to his red eyes
o Tobirama realizes too late that his opinion of his “wife” was manipulated so that he wouldn’t be able to gather his full strength to compete with his enemies
o Reborn!Tobirama has goals to 1. Be gay, and; 2. Commit Treason
o Zetsu as the scheming Minister who is actually the bastard child of Empress Dowager Kaguya
o Madara turns the court upside down and shakes because he’s bored and vindictive
· 12th World
o Beastmen in Space AU
o The Tribes are even more stupidly competitive than shinobi Clans but have more space (lol) to spread out so they aren’t at full war with each other
o Snow Leopard!Madara has a female beast form as most Uchiha males do – Uchiha females tend to have male Beast Forms
o Uchiha Do Not switch forms in Public/on the Battlefield and also the Uchiha don’t gender the way the other Tribes do
o White Tiger!Tobirama only discovers this after the Uchiha are destroyed by hostile invasion of Borg-type enemies
o Zetsu are the Borg knockoffs
o Reborn!Tobirama starts courting Madara because rowr and peace happens because kittens – yay!
o Madara uses his carving skills to create power stones that allow High Level Beasts to control themselves
· 13th World
o Castlevania-esque Vampire AU
o Vampires and Humans share a world but live in different realities thanks to magic sub-dimensions
o Vampire Prince!Madara is lazy and hedonistic
o Vampire Prince!Tobirama is disdainful of Madara’s magpie brain
o Zetsu is the Religious extremist Vampire cult that realizes that Madara is the key to tearing down the veil and bleeds him dry to shatter the barrier separating the worlds and free the first vampire Kaguya
o Reborn!Tobirama absolutely refuses to allow the Veil to get torn down again so he gets stupidly “devoted and jealous” over his previously despised betrothed
o Madara is rather offended that the blood drinking is sexy and also that Tobirama is a tasty snack
· 14th World
o Merfolk AU
o Devil Firefish Mer!Madara always knew that the merfolk from the deeper waters would only visit the Volcanic Reef to mate and leave, especially the sharks – but he had still wanted to hope for something more…
o Great White Mer!Tobirama only ever left the Kelp Forest to guard his more hormone driven kin when the pod headed to shallower waters to spawn and let the fry gather strength in the protection of the cove before heading back home
o Tangling with the pretty, poisonous leader of the Uchiha pod was a mistake that could be entirely blamed on his brother’s tendency to overindulge in urchin-spines and share his vices with every mer in the vicinity
o Someone (see: Zetsu) fucks up and pisses off the Ocean
o Seaquakes and the resulting tsunami’s drive all the mer to the deepest-water cities to wait out the disasters
o Madara gets eaten by a giant kraken while defending the fry – Tobirama arrives just in time to see Madara and their son get torn in half
o Reborn!Tobirama courts Madara properly and the Uchiha pod moves into the sea-caves because the coral as too fragile for Tobirama’s peace of mind
o Zetsu are creepy seaweed/anglerfish things
· 15th World
o Virtual Reality Game AU
o Code-writer!Tobirama develops Kenjutsu Mania Online in an attempt to revive his comatose little brothers
o Overworked Detective!Madara gets suckered into the VR game with his little brothers
o Crazy Person (Kaguya) traps all the players in a death game – as you do
o Tobirama gets exposed as a game designer and PK’d
o Reborn!Tobirama parties with Madara and gets married for the ExP bonus
o Zetsu are a computer virus AI like Agent Smith
o Madara uses IRL weapon skills to break the game and his character build before he smashes the Crazy Person open like an overripe melon
o All the little brothers wake up
· 5 Tails Interlude
o Sanzan-han is very proud! Mada-sama is halfway there!
o Madara is throwing a huge fit over giving birth in 2 out of 5 worlds
o But Mada-sama, the massive amount of affection points!
o Fuck your affection points!
o That’s the spirit, Mada-sama!
· 16th World
o Modern Wizards AU
o Dragon Keeper!Madara trips over poachers/dark wizards who kidnapped Ancient Runes Master!Tobirama for evil-ritual-sacrifice purposes
o They accidently end up in a Marriage Bond
o Tobirama suspects Madara of being a Dark Wizard
o Madara is framed and executed – only for the real culprit to be exposed a few months later
o The real culprit is Kaguya and Zetsu natch
o Tobirama explodes a Time Turner
o Reborn!Tobirama drags his new spouse Dark Wizard hunting
o Couple Therapy for dumb Wizards go
· 17th World
o ID Porn in a Miraculous AU
o Masked Hero Phoenix is consistently pursued and wooed by his partner in crime fighting, Dragon
o PoliSci TA!Madara has a raging brain crush on Bio-Chem Doctorate Student!Tobirama
o An ill-advised insult/rejection causes Phoenix to darken and self-destruct
o A grief-stricken Dragon “teleports” his mind back in time
o Madara is so confused by Tobirama and his new stalker tendencies
o Kaguya is RabbitMoth and Zetsu are the Akuma
· 18th World
o Really Cheap Silmarillion Knockoff AU
o Spell-Singer!Madara is driven mad by an Oath that was forced on him by a Messenger done Dark
o Kaguya as the evil god and Zetsu as her evil Messenger
o Forger!Tobirama doesn’t pay attention to extenuating circumstances until it’s too late and the bodies are buried
o The World goes to shit for 3 ages because Tobirama’s shinies are the shiniest
o Reborn!Tobirama devotes himself to fucking over Zetsu’s evil schemes and making pretty baubles for Madara
o The fact that Madara’s new hairpin can level a mountain range is incidental and has nothing to do with Tobirama’s paranoia
o An ancient mystery re. parentage is solved when Madara sings Kagami into being right on schedule – Tobirama is delighted to assist this time
· 19th World
o Steampunk AU a la FF flavour
o Enemy Nation!Madara is the Prince/General who goes crazy due to infection from alien viral lifeform
o HoL Companion!Tobirama as a Prince of the protag Nation who are prophesized to save the world from Calamity
o World goes to shit
o Zetsu is the Scourge and Kaguya is Jenova/the Accursed
o Tobirama is too impatient to wait out the “time-skip”
o Reborn!Tobirama sneaks into the enemy stronghold – finds pre-infection!Madara imprisoned with tiny clone-child Kagami and steals them both
o Cue roadtrip shenanigans as both sides try to track them down
o Madara gets to one-man-army the forces of evil – Tobirama is very impressed
· 20th World
o Demon Hunter AU
o Incubus!Madara has a “food allergy” and has been stuck at the physical age of 13 being fed energy by his family members for the last 200 years
o Functionally Ace Demon Hunter!Tobirama pegs Madara for a sex demon on sight because the lust whammy is legit the most distracting thing to ever happen to him and that incubus looks like a child ew
o Tobirama sets a trap for Madara and is mean about it because he doesn’t appreciate the second-hand bad-touch feelings – trigger warning: allusions to non-con gangbang
o Madara kills the “bait” and Tobirama bursts into the room
o Tobirama sees adult!Madara in the aftermath of the carnage and is horrified to recognize his soulmate
o Madara proceeds to vomit blood and dies at Tobirama’s feet – the allergy is no joke
o Tobirama learns about Madara’s “allergy” from revenge rampage Izuna – recognizes that Izuna is Touka’s soulmate and doesn’t fight back
o Tobirama regrets so hard he magics his soul back in time to the day he first saw Madara
o The most awkward dating adventure begins
o Zetsu are the actually evil demons who eat people for real – and not in the fun way Uchiha do
· 21st World
o Gods AU
o Ocean Kami!Tobirama realizes too late that he loved Volcano!Kami Madara and was unable to rescue him from the Underworld – that trick never works
o Reborn!Tobirama starts bringing Madara tributes, averts the Twilight of the Gods via shameless debauchery, and accidently builds a tropical island honeymoon palace to spoil Madara in
o Zetsu are the evil servants of the “god-eating Titan” Kaguya
· 6 Tails Interlude
o Lots of Madara screaming about how the Powers That Be are far too fucking obsessed with seeing Madara get railed
o Sanzan-han goes no-duh, most lifeforms devote about 99% of their spare life energy towards reproductive efforts
o Madara is very grumpy about being a SSS Class Ninja Nightmare reduced to pillow-book wish-fulfillment fantasy fodder
· 22nd World
o Noodle Dragon AU
o Dragon King of the Northern Ocean!Tobirama and Quetzalcoatl!Madara courting shenanigans
o OTL!Tobirama fucked up and led Hunters (Zetsu) to OTL!Madara’s nest and they stole his heart for black magic doomsday ritual
o Madara ended up a stone statue curled around the shattered remains of his first egg
o Reborn!Tobirama is determined to be a properly attentive mate
o Madara is resigned to laying eggs again
· 23rd World
o GoT-knockoff Medieval AU
o Madara gets burned at the stake as a witch, doesn’t die, and then gets torn apart by a terrified mob
o Northern Lord!Tobirama realizes that he done fucked up and needs Madara to beat the evil ice zombies
o Reborn!Tobirama starts wooing an extremely cranky pyro-prince while trying to give the Uchiha Crown Prince more positive PR with the peasantry to avoid another riot
o Zetsu are the Others, Kaguya as the Night Queen
· 24th World
o ‘Taur AU – Tribal Setting
o Leopard-Taur!Madara lives high up in the Mountains
o Tiger-Taur!Tobirama is poisoned and delirious during a fated encounter – he doesn’t learn what happened or who saved him until after both prides are mostly destroyed
o Reborn!Tobirama manages to avoid delirium induced amnesia and starts stalking Madara with the intent to make love not war
o Zetsu are corrupted from using radioactive/poisonous Power Stones to boost strength, Kaguya is actually parasite queen
· 25th World
o Exorcists and Ghosts AU
o Cursed Ghost!Madara lingers in the courtyard he called home while he was alive
o Kagami wanders in during the ghost hour and Madara shoves him into a cabinet to protect him
o Exorcist!Tobirama finds out that Madara was still protecting Kagami from the devil spirits – not haunting him – only after the devils grow stronger and get free after ghost!Madara is destroyed
o Reborn!Tobirama needs to figure out a way to woo his past incarnation’s very justifiably angry murdered consort before Madara denies Tobirama visitation rights
o Zetsu are devil spirits who cursed Madara to death, Kaguya wants to consume Kagami for power
· 26th World
o Midsummer Night’s Dream AU
o Fairy Prince!Tobirama gets dosed with love potion
o Meets Dark Forest King!Madara
o Falls in potion induced love – which gets Tobirama invested enough to forget his previous prejudices and fall in True Love
o Then Madara dies
o Reborn!Tobirama is now immune to Love Potions because he is in True Love with Madara – fuck you, cheating bastard traitors to the Fairy Crown
o Tobirama runs off into the Dark Forest to snag himself a Goblin King (and break Hashirama out of Love Potion induced insanity, natch)
o Zetsu as the dirtbag fiancée, Kaguya as the dark fairy trying to take over both kingdoms
· 27th World
o Naga AU
o Banded Sea Kriat!Tobirama tangles with in-heat Black Hooded Tiger Snake!Madara and doesn’t realize until later that the whole situation was a bloodmage trap
o Zetsu are the bloodmages
o Tobirama finds Madara’s still bleeding skinned body a few weeks after they tangle – manages to get Madara’s skin and their still-curing egg back from the hunting team
o Tobirama tries to save their egg and fails – it was taken from Madara too soon
o Tobirama hunts down the bloodmage and dies in killing them
o Reborn!Tobirama gives Madara proper aftercare – notes the bloody wound from the unwanted heat inducing potion – and hauls Madara back to his den for proper nesting
· 28th World
o Magical Knight AU
o Storm Knight!Tobirama damages Evil General!Madara’s control seal during the battle of the week
o Tobirama then runs into amnesiac in civilian ID Madara after the fight and goes on a date
o Tobirama still end up killing Madara when the brainwashing is reapplied – prolonged death scene reveals that Madara was mind-controlled not committing betrayal
o Reborn!Tobirama puts significantly more effort into ensuring that the control seal is completely removed from “General Indra”
o Madara helps defeat the Ancient Evil while wearing leather booty shorts
o Kaguya as Mettalia, Zetsu as the Youma
· 7 Tails Interlude
o Forget about the indignity of being Tobirama’s go-to baby incubator – Madara is absolutely flipping his shit over the booty shorts
o Sanzan-han thought they were quite flattering on you, Mada-sama!
· 29th World
o Blood Magic AU
o Demon Lord!Madara gets honeytrapped by Blood Mage!Tobirama and stabbed from behind by Hashirama
o Tobirama turns Madara’s body into a scrying gem to steal his powers and secrets
o Snooping through Madara’s memories of their courtship lets Tobirama discover that Madara’s “evil plot” was a baby Kagami now cold in his cradle
o Reborn!Tobirama is doing everything in his power to keep his family from finding out about Madara because the Senju’s whole “thing” is demon hunting and stealing their magic
o Kaguya as the creepy Ancestor of the Senju clan who started the demon killing habit, Zetsu as the twisted remains of Senju elders who cursed themselves due to magic addiction
· 30th World
o Phantom Thief AU
o Kaito!Tobirama has to watch as his dear Detective!Madara gets gunned down by the Black Organization
o Reborn!Tobirama first tries to send Madara away for his own safety – has a control freak panic attack when he can’t see Madara
o Tobirama proceeds to go full disclosure overcompensation trying to keep Madara safe
o Madara is a Sigh and steals all nine bijuu tama while Tobirama is sorting himself out
o … Tobirama would like to know when his dear Detective learned to pick locks but before that there is a very serious problem that has arisen in Tobirama’s pants that needs to be dealt with because that was the smoothest heist Tobirama has ever borne witness to holy shit
o Zetsu as the Black Organization looking for the magic gem Kaguya
· 31st World
o Transformers AU
o Decepticon!Madara is Sunspot and Autobot!Tobirama is Whitespace
o The Great War happens – Kaguya-as-Unicron wakes up and eats most of the planet and population
o “That’s no moon.”
o Whitespace yeets his spark back in time and attempts to if not stop then at least delay the start of the Great War
o Reborn!Whitespace ends up pair-bonding with Sunspot to rob the Decepticons of their Air Commander
o A 3rd faction forms separate from the High Council versus Violent Terrorist Extremists options
· 32nd World
o Beauty and the Beast meets Hanahaki Tragedy AU
o Imprisoned Guest!Tobirama heads home for The Visit and stays away too long – not longer than he promised, but Beast!Madara was days away from suffocation
o Tobirama comes back to a silent castle and finds Madara on his bed surrounded by blood and the flowers that had burst out from under his skin
o Reborn!Tobirama is determined to break the curse – Madara is just really tired and in pain
o What kind of fucking sadist curses a kid with roses growing inside their body – Madara was 13 when this shit started and his body knows it
o True Loves Kiss ensues (and also Itama and Kawarama beat the shit out of Zetsu for cursing their new brother in law)
· 33rd World
o ABO ElfQuest-ish AU
o Alpha!Tobirama thinks he was tricked into marriage hunting Omega!Madara as part of a plot against the Senju Kingdom – everyone knows that you can’t trust Dark Elves
o Tobirama finds out too late that there are evil forces on the loose that only the Uchiha are aware of – that’s why the Dark Elves are called Dark Elves, because they hunt evil in the dark
o Madara is caught and left mutilated for Tobirama to come across just as he made up his mind to treat his mate better
o Reborn!Tobirama misses his cue from the original setup – but he still finds Madara hiding in a waterfall cave because fuck no, no more fucking fucking
o Spoiler: Madara gets fucked good and hard
o Tobirama and Madara go demon hunting together
o Zetsu are the Madkin demons created by Kaguya’s twisted flesh-shaping
· 34th World
o Wonderland AU
o Evil Dictatorship ruling family Uchiha Clan are actually held captive by their Palace – it’s a seal keeping a demon asleep and powered by the Uchiha who live inside the castle – the Uchiha don’t actually do much ruling, the Council of Elders is where the majority of the corruption is
o Revolutionary!Tobirama kidnaps Crown Prince of Hearts!Madara during the siege to “free” Wonderland which lets the demon loose so Tobirama is forced to marry Madara and have kids quick due to being responsible for the plan that killed off 99% of the Uchiha
o Also people born with red eyes get married to the Uchiha in the Kingdom of Hearts – those with red eyes have hearts that cannot be fooled or controlled (meaning they’re able to see through the demon’s tricks)
o Reborn!Tobirama has just enough time to alter his plan for the attack on the Palace of Hearts – then he walks in on the turncoat guards who gave the Revolution entry to the Palace making comments about sexually assaulting Madara
o Tobirama bursts in before Madara can break their skulls and “saves” his future husband
o Most of the Uchiha survive this time – only the Elders get killed
o Tobirama marries Madara again and gets to work on revamping the bad laws
o Zetsu is the Jabberwocky
· 35th World
o Werewolf Fighting Ring AU
o Alpha Werewolf!Tobirama was unwillingly mated to Alpha Werewolf!Madara when he was caught and held prisoner by slave traffickers
o Tobirama rejects Madara once they’re free of the arena but makes sure to “payback” Madara for his “humiliation” first
o Madara had been given heat drugs the entire time and didn’t remember what Tobirama resented him for
o Madara ends up dying from mate-loss
o Tobirama is focused on bringing down the slavery ring and doesn’t know Madara died – until Hashirama sends him a letter about how his mate “didn’t make it through the birth” and asking him to get back for the funeral
o Tobirama finally slows down – reads the file on Madara he has been ignoring since he found it – and breaks
o Reborn!Tobirama is focused on treating Madara as a proper mate while also getting revenge on the Slavers
o Madara is going to rip out so many throats out over being pregnant again
o Zetsu as the warlocks running the slave rings to feed Kaguya power
· 36th World
o Star Wars AU
o By-the-Code Jedi!Tobirama tends to bisect all the “darksiders” he runs into – kills Izuna during a mission
o Madara does full dark-side rage and Empress Kaguya takes over
o Zetsu as the Darkside clone army
o Reborn!Tobirama is a lot less saber-happy and has learned that the Uchiha are not dark – more wild/grey
o Ends up Force Bonded to Madara to bring Balance
· 8 Tails Interlude
o Madara has a screaming breakdown to the tune of “why fucking Tobirama?!?!?!”
o Sanzan-han is like “He resented you the most? Duh? No Evil Abolishing Resentment System?”
o Madara tries his best to fry the stupid gods-be-damned-twice fish
· 37th World
o Sex Slave Soulmate AU
o War-Mage!Tobirama uses borderline-forbidden magic to make Kagami – shatters his soulmate link to do so, which is what makes the magic unpopular but not illegal as nobody is actually “harmed” by the spell
o Note: Kagami is now the living embodiment of the link
o Kagami finds Courtesan!Madara in a high-end brothel that is a front for nobles to buy magically bound sex-slaves – this is actually super forbidden magic, btw
o Tobirama saves Madara and the other enslaved thralls while rescuing Kagami
o Madara had enough magic to fight against the enchantment and managed to get Kagami out of the brothel – that’s how Tobirama knew where to attack
o No follow through after the rescue – Madara and the others are left under the enslavement seals
o Madara ends up assaulted/dead/silenced by the nobles who used to patronize the brothel and slave market
o Reborn!Tobirama moves faster and has already figured out how to break the enslavement curse – gets to the brothel before Madara manages to get Kagami out again
o Mexican standoff ensues – Tobirama rescues his soulmate and kid
o Madara gets freed from the curse
o Courting ensues when their soulmark repairs when they touch after the curse is broken
o Kaguya as the evil mage who was using the brothels as a power source, Zetsu as her simulacrum servants
· 38th World
o Mythos AU
o Dragon!Tobirama is married to Phoenix!Madara and resents it
o Madara has bad PR and Tobirama listens to rumours so he ignores Madara as much as he can
o Civil War erupts – Madara hides Kagami when their Palace is attacked and is a distraction
o Tobirama finds his spouse ritually violated to steal his “fire”
o Reborn!Tobirama is a much more enthusiastic spouse and realizes that Madara is a fluffy sap
o Zetsu as the invading horde of magic thieves
· 39th World
o Angels AU
o Angel!Tobirama is “tempted” by Fallen!Madara
o Tobirama kills Madara and kicks off a new War In Heaven
o Regret hits when Tobirama finds Kagami’s body after Danzo kills him… in an exact mirror of how Tobirama tricked Madara
o Reborn!Tobirama decides to “prove” that Madara is “evil” before killing him this time to keep the War from happening again
o Tobirama gets his nose rubbed in Madara’s ability to love his family
o Zetsu as actual demons who are trying to kill off both Angels and Fallen
· 40th World
o Fae Marriage Hunt AU
o Winter Fae!Tobirama was a petty bastard and resisted his betrothal to the point a Marriage Hunt was the only option
o Skinchanger!Madara wins the Hunt
o The peace between the High Court and the Wild Hunt collapses after Madara is killed during a diplomatic meeting
o Reborn!Tobirama decides to play along/use his “marriage” to make the peace permanent
o Tobirama gets his misconceptions challenged when Madara rides his cooperative “willing” bride into the ground
o Kaguya as an evil Fairy Queen with Zetsu as her Greymalkin
· 41st World
o The Mummy AU
o Archeologist!Tobirama accidently triggers mummy!Madara’s awakening and the crazy demon cultists take advantage
o Madara lets Tobirama kill him rather than let the cultists sacrifice Tobirama
o Tobirama gets an info dump on Madara’s trauma
o Reborn!Tobirama uses the evil cult to resurrect Madara properly and woos the ancient shogun like a boss
o Kaguya as even more ancient evil Mummy and Zetsu as obsessed cultists
· 42nd World
o Labyrinth AU
o Adventurer!Tobirama keeps meeting a mysterious “king” in his dreams – King of the Labyrinth!Madara keeps a veil over his head and his hands covered by extra-long fluttery sleeves
o Tobirama has to beat the Labyrinth to rescue his little brothers
o Paranoid Tobirama gets tricked into betraying Madara by goblin Zetsu – the Labyrinth collapses
o Tobirama’s little brothers are killed along with all the other kidnapped children – the energy from their deaths and the destruction of the Labyrinth is used to fuel the resurrection of a Demon God Kaguya
o Tobirama dies taking his revenge after learning the full story
o Reborn!Tobirama is much more willing to “dance” with Madara now that he knows Madara is as much or more a prisoner than the stolen children
o Madara was used as a lure – his fingers bound in wire and his eyes sewn shut – but they miscalculated because Madara was still the King and wouldn’t let anyone who can’t complete his Labyrinth reach the children
o Tobirama completes the Labyrinth… after he frees Madara
o Yay romantic dance sequences
· 43rd World
o Four Kings AU
o Byakko!Tobirama gets trapped in a blood-and-wine seal
o Suzaku!Madara runs afoul of Tobirama’s enemies, kills them all in a rage, and trips into Tobirama’s trap with him
o Violent coitus ensues
o Madara breaks the seal once the trap’s power has been exhausted and runs away
o Tobirama wakes up with a blank memory as a result of the seal
o Madara lays an egg – Kagami hatches
o Zetsu as Minions of the God-Eater Kaguya catch Madara while he’s weak and sacrifice him thinking he still contains the combined essence of Byakko and Suzaku
o Hey but actually Madara’s power was at a low ebb because he spent it all on Kagami so no resurrections for you, stupid doomsday cult
o Tobirama rescues Kagami – baby bird begs the tiger to save his mama – is too late
o Reborn!Tobirama gets to watch his past!self deflower the avatar of Suzaku and oh shit that means Kagami is my son? Tobirama is a scream
o Time to gather the Four Kings and destroy a Demon Cult! Mito is Seiryuu and Hashirama is Genbu.
· 44th World
o Warprize Ger AU
o Imperial Prince!Tobirama is given as a consort to Ger Emperor Madara as part of a Senju plot
o Tobirama is unaware that his attendants are using him to poison Madara but is super pissed at his father for giving him away as a treaty gift
o Madara dies birthing Kagami but reveals to Tobirama that he was glad to marry him – Kagami is worth it and Tobirama was the only man to ever give Madara flowers
o Kagami learns that it was a Senju plot that killed his mother and hates Tobirama for his part in it
o War erupts between the Uchiha Empire and the Senju Kingdom again and destroys both countries
o Reborn!Tobirama decides to overturn all his father’s plan and dotes on his Imperial Spouse – so manyflowers are given
o Madara is an amazing Emperor and newly crowned Emperor Hashirama is super thrilled to have such peaceful relations with his neighbour thanks to Tobirama’s beautiful love story
· 45th World
o Buddy-cop StarTrek Federation AU
o Senju-With-Tentacles, Psychic!Uchiha-With-Horns
o PHEREMONE MARKERS~!!
o Zetsu are the Borg
o Kagami is a Tube Baby
· 9 Tails Interlude
o Madara is freaking the fuck out the last set of worlds were uniquely traumatizing – especially the Labyrinth one
· 46th World
o Loveless AU
o Sacrifice!Madara has learned to fight on auto – the first Sacrifice to figure out how to do so, and he doesn’t stop fighting even when his Fighter shows up
o Fighter!Tobirama never wanted a Sacrifice because he didn’t want them to get hurt and he sees Madara acting as a Fighter so he doesn’t believe that Madara is a Sacrifice
o The name of their Bond is Devotion
o Madara gets targeted by a swarm of Dr. Kaguya’s fake-bonded Zetsu
o Tobirama finds Madara’s body in Kaguya’s lab and uncovers the Bond too late to save his Sacrifice
o Reborn!Tobirama is hyper overprotective and Madara trounces his Fighter’s ass up and down the street until he feels better about living in a reality with a world-wide virginity fetish
· 47th World
o Witch Madara and Magical Creature Tobirama
o Tobirama is cursed into a human form
o Tricked into thinking that he has to kill Madara/a Witch to get the curse broken?
o It was all a lie
o Tobirama twisting the curse to go back in time instead of dying
o Madara is too gods-be-damned-again tired for this nonsense
o
· 48th World
o Stargate AU
o Head Scientist of the Expedition Tobirama
o Leader of the surviving “Ancients” Madara
· 49th World
o Welcome to Nightvale AU
o Tobirama, the Scientist
o Madara, the Sherriff of the Secret Police
o
· 50th World
o BDSM AU
o Tobirama IDS as a Switch but he’s service oriented non-dynamic instead
o Madara thinks toys/scenes are silly – demi-romantic/grey-ace Madara rides again
o Tobirama has cultural dissonance meeting a “Dom” who likes being the one fucked
· 51st World
o TRON?
· 52nd World
o Tyrant CEO/Entertainment Circle
· 53rd World
o From another world AU
o Tobirama drops into Fantasy Land from a Modern-ish Naruto World
o Madara as the Villainous Noble who was “jealous” of Tobirama’s magic power
· 54th World
o Last Unicorn AU
o Madara is the Kirin
o Tobirama as a Wizard who likes Science more
· 55th World
o Dragon Raja AU
· 10 Tails Interlude
o Sanzan-han reveals why they were helping Madara – and fade to black
· Return to the Warring Clans Era
o Canon is About to Be Diverted
o Madara is back on the battlefield where Izuna died
o Promptly summons Sanzan-han to stop this fucking bullshit – Sanzan-han has ascended and become a massive dragon so yeah the battle is definitely over now
o Tobirama appears to be having a migraine – whoops looks like the arrival of Sanzan-han has started the data-dump of all Tobirama’s System-generated memories into canon!Tobirama
o Peace and Konoha happen
· Epilogue/Extras
o Tobirama has Suspicions regarding his shiny new memories – especially because he remembers seeing that fish. Everywhere. All the time. Stupid fish.
o Everyone is very confused by how fast Tobirama and Madara get over the war and hook up but yay peace? Also Madara and Tobirama somehow make a baby and everyone is too busy trying to figure out how that works to complain anymore.
o
·
#Sanjuno's ficwork#NEARS#No Evil Abolishing Resentment System#MadaTobi#TobiMada#Pray for me friends this is how I die#Transmigrator meets Reincarnator#In which Sanjuno gets to be pretentious about how her MC hooking up with the ML is required for plot larger purposes than mere romance#NaNoWriMo 2020
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Hold a Candle
Summary: Bellamy sneaks Josephine out of Sanctum in the hopes of bringing Clarke back.
Rated T, ~1100 words
“They’ll find us here,” Clarke says. Except it’s not Clarke, Bellamy reminds himself. It’s Josephine. Her voice sounds almost the same. There’s just enough difference to give her away.
Bellamy looks back at her, stepping away from the entrance of the cave, where he’d been checking to make sure no one had followed them. Her hands and feet are bound. He’d carried her the whole way here, over his shoulder, trying to ignore her snarky remarks.
“You don’t know that,” Bellamy says.
Clarke—Josephine—smirks back at him, using Clarke’s face, but twisting it differently. Her expressions are almost unrecognisable.
“Everyone will be out looking for me. The shield is down. They’re going to know exactly which path you took. It will take them half an hour, tops.”
“Maybe that will be long enough.”
Josephine looks amused. “What are you going to do, Bellamy? Torture me until you get Clarke back? Rip the chip out of my neck?”
“If I have to.”
She considers him for a moment. “I know you won’t hurt me. Just like I knew you wouldn’t let Murphy shoot me. You wouldn’t risk it.”
“Yeah? Why’d you help us get the shield down then?”
Josephine shrugs. “Fun.”
“Enough,” Bellamy groans. He’s supposed to be leading the interrogation here, not letting her wind him up. There has to be something he can do to get Clarke back. He kneels down in front of her. “Clarke,” he says, looking into her eyes, searching for some hint that she’s still in there. “I know you’re in there. Please come back to me. Please.”
Josephine snorts. “She’s dead, Bellamy. Face the facts.”
“She can’t be,” Bellamy swallows. Just the mention of it brings tears to his eyes, and his chest constricts. He can’t lose her again. Not after everything they’ve been through.
Josephine tilts her head. “You really love her, don’t you?” Bellamy doesn’t respond. His jaw ticks. Josephine’s eyes widen in glee. “Don’t you have a girlfriend? What do you think they’re going to do to her when they find out you’ve taken me? To all your other friends?”
“Shut up,” Bellamy snarls. God, he can’t stand this. Clarke’s face, Clarke’s voice, taunting him about his girlfriend.
“You don’t care, do you? As long as your Clarke is okay.”
“Of course I care.”
He does care. He doesn’t want anything bad to happen to Echo, or Murphy, or any of the others. But they can take care of themselves, and this is more important right now. He tries again. He takes Josephine’s bound hands in his. “Clarke,” he says. “I know you’re in there. You can fight this. Remember—remember the first time we met? You hated me. And I thought you were a spoiled princess who only cared about herself. God, I was wrong. So, so wrong. You’re the best of me, Clarke. You made me a better person.”
He swallows, trying to dislodge the lump that’s formed in this throat. “Clarke,” he says, his voice trembling. “Don’t give up. I know we haven’t appreciated you enough, but we all know the sacrifices you’ve made for all of us. We need you. I need you. I can’t—” his voice breaks, “I can’t do this without you. I can’t even think of it.”
“How touching,” Josephine rolls her eyes. Bellamy sighs, dropping her hands. He’s not giving up, but he’s at a loss for what else to try. “Listen, Bellamy,” Josephine says, leaning forward. “Clarke is dead. I know it sucks. But I’m here.”
“You’re not her.”
“I know,” Josephine says, smiling flirtatiously. “But I look exactly like her. I could pretend to be her for a little while.”
“What’s your point?” Bellamy grunts.
“Don’t you want to know what it feels like?” Josephine bats her eyelashes. “To kiss her? Make love to her? I bet you’ve thought about it. Hundreds of times, probably. Thousands, even.”
Bellamy’s face burns. Of course he’s thought about it. Sometimes, when he was on the ring, he could think of nothing else, even after he and Echo got together. It was torture. And then to have her back, only to have her snatched away from him so quickly? It’s hell all over again. How does he keep losing her, over and over and over?
“Come on,” Josephine whispers. “I know you want to. No one has to know. I’ll even let you keep me tied up.”
Bellamy’s eyes flick to her lips, inches from his. His heart pounds. He’s tempted.
“Kiss me, Bellamy,” she whispers, and she sounds almost like the real Clarke for a moment. But she’s not. Bellamy looks back to her eyes.
“It wouldn’t be real,” he says quietly. He stands up. He couldn’t do that to Clarke. Doesn’t want a shadow of the real thing anyway.
“Real is overrated. I could be your fantasy Clarke.”
“Shut up,” he snaps. “You don’t hold a candle to her.”
Perhaps he should just cut the chip out of her neck and be done with it. Maybe they’re lying. Maybe it wouldn’t kill her. He could smash the chip into a thousand pieces, make sure Josephine was truly gone for good. He glances at her. When she’s not talking, not taunting him, she looks just like Clarke. His heart aches. He can’t risk it. There has to be another way to get her back.
His ears prick, the distant sound of a motorbike or two getting closer.
“Told you,” Josephine shrugs. Bellamy refuses to give up that easily.
“Come on,” he says, tugging her up and throwing her over his shoulder again. The motorbike is closer now, too close. There’s no way he can outrun it. But he has to try.
He pokes his head of the cave, just as the bike skids to a stop outside. Fuck. Except, it’s not someone from Sanctum looking for Josephine.
“Diyoza?” And behind her, on another bike, Octavia. “What are you doing here?”
“We’re working for the Children of Gabriel now. Heard there was a Prime outside the dome.”
“Is that Clarke?” Octavia says. Bellamy glowers at her.
“No,” he says. “It’s Josephine.”
“Shit,” Diyoza says. She obviously understands what that means. “Put her on the back of the bike. Maybe the Children of Gabriel can help.”
Bellamy puts her on the back of Octavia’s bike. Josephine looks at him, serious for once.
“If you take me to the Children of Gabriel, they’ll kill me. You’ll never get Clarke back.”
“So you’re saying there is a way to get her back?”
Josephine opens her mouth, then quickly closes it again. That’s all the confirmation he needs. He climbs on the back of Diyoza’s bike. “Let’s go.”
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Cheer up emo R/J
For @coppercrane2 specifically because she wanted this scene but also for whoever else wants it and needs some R/J cheer up emo.
**
If JFK is a post-apocalyptic wasteland where manners and dreams went to die, LAX is simply a clusterfuck. Raven Fletcher isn’t stupid enough to mean-mug the smarmy-looking TSA agent at the end of the line, not exactly, but the smile in place on her face is about as gruesome as Heath Ledger’s Joker. She had the whole system down pat by now-- plastic bag of toiletries, no belt, no hat, no jacket, no sunglasses, shoes that could easily be slipped off and on, no electronics and items in the pockets-- but the whole process is a drag, anyway. And of course, they still always gave her crap, and this time is no exception.
“What were you doing in LA?”
“Meeting up with some clients in the industry, catching up, making plans for New York Fashion Week.”
“So you live in New York, then?”
“Yeah. I thought it says so on my license.” And moreover, she certainly didn’t sound like a Californian, now did she?
The TSA agent gives her a warning look; her sass is clearly not appreciated, and undoubtedly he’d use it as an excuse to make her suffer in the next five to ten minutes and probably go through every last bit of her bags, down to counting how many tampons she stashed in and probably testing her makeup wipes to ensure that nothing was radioactive. Raven bites her tongue and tries not to roll her eyes as he beckons over a female officer to pat her down even as he paws through all her belongings. He shakes out a Dior dress that’s tucked into her garment bag that’s likely worth more than the X-ray machine that the bag just passed through, and Raven wants to ask that he change his damn gloves first, but at this rate, if he goes any slower, she’d miss her connection. Sunny weather or not, she’d be damned if she got stuck in LA for another day.
Finally, the ordeal comes to an end, which leaves her roughly half an hour to get from one end of the airport to the other on four-inch Louboutins. Raven has no problem with mowing through crowds-- sharp elbows and the aggressive New Yorker walk does wonders-- but to have to do so just to get to her gate in time is aggravating when it was certainly not her fault that the security check took so long. She certainly couldn’t just crumple up the damned Dior and stuff it back into the garment bag-- she had a client dinner right after getting back in town, and on no planet did Raven Fletcher appear at such events anything less than perfectly dressed and groomed.
There’s the moving walkway up ahead, and she strides on, a woman on a mission, long legs eating up the length of the conveyor. Raven is a petite woman, five-foot-four before the stiletto heels and too short for the modeling work that she immerses herself in dealing with on a daily basis, but she’s leggy, and can walk, jog and possibly do step aerobics in heels with the best of them. She steps off at the end of the moving walkway, leading with her shoulders, and smacks painfully into a solid male chest.
“I’m so sorry. Are you all right, miss?” A pair of big hands wrap around her elbows and pull her up, and had she landed any harder, she probably would have broken a thousand-dollar heel, and perhaps an ankle. Raven looks up from legs clad in casual gray chinos to a torso in blue tweed, with brown elbow patches, up into an almost-unforgivably handsome face, all golden California tan and tousled, sun-bleached blond hair, wearing horn-rimmed glasses over his baby blues. And... headphones. Of course. Because it would certainly be too much to ask for a man to be too perfect, so this particular specimen had to be moseying through the airport deaf to his surroundings like an oblivious moron.
“I would be better if you were watching where you were going, but forget about it.” She bypasses the hand he holds out to help her up, and snags both her garment bag and her briefcase. Her ankle gives her a twinge as she stands up, but she stalks off without a backward glance. If she hurried, she’d have just enough time to pop into the Starbucks by her gate for a quad venti iced macchiato to wash down the Excedrin before getting on the plane.
The boarding process, after she reaches her gate, and where someone else might have passed their time sleeping or watching a movie or two on the five-hour flight, Raven opens her briefcase after the plane reaches cruising altitude to organize her files for the upcoming client dinner. Not that there is much to do, really, because Morgan Austen, even at age seventeen, didn’t exactly require much of an introduction. Blonde and willowy and charming and self-assured, the girl’s celebrity background might have gotten her in the door, but she’d certainly lived up to all the hype. Only too often were the celebrity actor-model types unforgivably uppity and spoiled, and while a small, petty part of Raven enjoyed putting them in their place as needed, it always came as a pleasant surprise when someone didn’t have to get told off for their own good.
Her heart gives a pitter-patter, though, when she reaches inside the bag and feels, underneath her manicured fingertips, a bunch of manila folders rather than the sleek leather portfolio that should be contained in that compartment. Cautiously, she draws out the papers, then only barely manages to avoid swearing loudly and noticeably in the airplane cabin.
“You’ve got to be freaking kidding me. This is a joke. A really bad joke.”
In place of the carefully-curated and prepped collection of headshots and polaroids of Morgan Austen is a collection of lab reports, all with the header of ‘153BH, UCLA/Huntley’. Raven has exactly zero interest in the subject of Nucleotide Metabolism, and the worst part about it is the fact that she has a whole three and a half hours before the plane lands and she can even get on her phone to do something about this mishap.
It’s the longest three and a half hours of her life, feels like, and she pulls out her cell phone almost before the flight attendants turn off the seatbelt sign, calls the agency to postpone the dinner with the rep from Michael Kors.
“Yeah, there’s been a problem with my bag. Stupid LAX. Can you just... tell them my flight was delayed, or something? They’ll be a-o-fucking-kay because they’re getting Morgan Austen to walk their damn show in a month and it’ll be the biggest thing to happen to them since dude designed Michelle Obama’s official portrait dress. Thanks, Luna. You’re a whole bag of organic non-GMO peaches. And... someone’s calling, and it’s a 310 area code, so I’m going to let you go.”
She recognizes the area code as Los Angeles, of course, and expects that it’s some minion from some customer service desk in LAX reporting that they’d found her bag, but the voice which comes through is male and sounds oddly familiar, with that faint Calfornian drawl. “Am I speaking to Ms. Raven Fletcher?”
“Yeah. Who’s this?”
“My name is Jude Huntley, and we bumped into each other at the airport? I seem to have your work bag rather than mine.” The tone is summery-smooth and apologetic, the cadence quick yet lacking the almost-harsh briskness of Manhattan. “It’s entirely my fault, and I’m going to get your bag back to you, but could you tell me where you’d like to pick it up?”
“Well, if you can’t tell, I’m kinda on the opposite coast to you now, buddy. Elite Models, New York, New York. We’re on 5th Avenue.” He doesn’t seem at all fazed by her slightly snotty tone, which takes the wind out of her sails, just a little. “Look, pal, if you want to send off my bag to New York, that’d be great. I can do the same with yours. UCLA, right? At least it’s summertime. Hopefully school’s out for you. Shitty time for me to lose my bag because summer’s prime time for campaigns, but it’s not like my stuff can just magically appear overnight.” All around her, people are rising up from their seats, and Raven scowls at nothing in particular. “I gotta get off the plane. Look, since you clearly got my number from my card, you can get the address, too. I’ll get your bag back to you as soon as I can.”
She hangs up, and seethes from the gate all the way to the taxi stand and then all the way to her apartment, before kicking off the heels and unapologetically ordering pizza delivery, to be consumed with wine while soaking in the tub. After the day she’d had, it was the least she deserved.
**
Raven arrives at the agency at eight o’clock sharp the next morning, with the briefcase-that-is-not-hers in one hand, a giant to-go cup of coffee in the other, and spends the first hour of her day making a phone call to the reps at Michael Kors to explain her bag mishap and reschedule the dinner meeting. Thankfully, Morgan Austen’s name is enough to negate any wrath which might have been incurred at the inconvenience, and, crisis averted, she’s just about ready to schedule a conference call-- with a talent scout out in BFE, Cornfields, Small-town USA somewhere-or-another-- when her assistant Phoebe knocks on the door. The diminuitive brunette has a peculiar look in her beady eyes.
“Someone’s here to see you. No appointment. Great face but I doubt he’s a model, unless he’s doing some sort of ad for Geek Chic. Says his name is Jude. Do you know a Jude? I didn’t think you knew a Jude, though this guy’s sort of got the hot younger Jude Law thing going on so...”
Raven’s eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. She’s only made the acquaintance of one individual by that name, and certainly Phoebe is wrong. There is no freaking way that the man from the airport in Los Angeles was actually in New York at this very second. She waves in a vague manner at Phoebe, who takes it as assent to let him in, and then her jaw drops. It’s the man from the airport, all right. Still wearing his tweed jacket and his horn-rimmed glasses, but now sporting dark-blond five-o’clock shadow like gold dust smudged against his chiseled jaw and deep shadows under those blue eyes. But his lips quirk into a smile when he sees her, and he holds out her bag, like an olive branch.
“You asked for it to be overnighted, didn’t you? I took the red-eye over.”
“But--- but---why?” Flying a red-eye from coast to coast is the worst, and doing so on standby just seemed like her own idea of Hell on Earth. “You could’ve just dropped it off at a FedEx. I...” She had barely been civil to him on the phone, and definitely was on the wrong side of rude when they’d bumped into each other at the airport. Under no circumstance could Raven see a reason for a man-- especially one who looked as though he had a job and a life well on the other side of the country-- to drop everything just to bring her her bag back in person.
But rather than give her a hard time, the man named Jude smiles, and it’s a great smile, with a dimple in both cheeks and in the chin. Geek chic indeed... “Well, I need those lab reports back, too. Summer class. I have a commitment to my students to get it back to them by Friday, and they’re kind of time consuming to grade. Call it an impulse, I guess.” He’s still holding out her bag, and this time she takes it, and belatedly hands him his own. “Anyway, let’s start over again. My name is Jude Huntley, and I’m an assistant professor at UCLA’s Chemistry department.”
“Raven Fletcher. I’m an agent here at Elite Models. Nice to meet you.” Two almost-identical bags switch hands, just before his fingers close around hers, and the touch is warm and sharp with the brush of static electricity. Raven’s fairly sure that her spine is, metaphorically speaking, stainless steel. And yet a shiver works its way up and down as he holds on for just a moment too long, and a decidedly unfamiliar warmth creeps up into her cheeks as he smiles at her again.
“The pleasure is definitely all mine.”
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“The Bitch In The Moon”
A short story based in my Thereafter Dark universe. I’m already planning on reworking it into Carlie’s introduction chapter...
The sky was still cold black when Carlie Willow jerked out of the preciously few hours of restless sleep that she could manage during this time of the month.
Her heart thumped aggressively in her chest as she trained her eyes upwards, feeling the uncomfortable stiffness of sleep-grit stuck to her lids and lashes. The ceiling was made of a dark rough wood, and she realized, with acute discomfort, that she was laying on that same material, bare ass and all. Jesus, if she got splinters in her ass…where the fuck was she? This wasn’t any place she had woken up before.
The soft cluck cluck cluck hit her before the stench did, making her gag and sit up to dry heave. As her arms shook in their support of her shivering body, she coughed up thick salvia that clung to her raw lips in gooey ropes as she spat. She felt the burn of acid in her gullet and prayed that she could make it outside before she tossed whatever she had snagged the night before onto the dirt.
She belched dryly before lifting her gaze to the beady eyes of the hens that surveyed her as she lay on the floor of their coop, pale and sore and scratched. Little puffs of downy feathers drifted across the straw strewn boards, brushing against her bare skin with a ticklish softness. Carlie tried to count them before laying down once more, her head thick and heavy and her vision spinning nauseously. She closed her eyes and counted to ten slowly, the grain of the wood biting into her tender forehead.
Apparently, last night had been much rougher then she had thought it would be. A chicken coop. Huh. Well, first time for everything.
When she finally felt brave enough to attempt standing, she made her way past the chickens as they clucked their disproval in a growing thrum.
“Sorry if I got one of your friends last night, ladies,” Carlie said dryly, hobbling along on stiff legs, her skin itchy from grime, still hunched over from the pain in her abdomen. One particularly feisty mama hen pecked at her ankle as she passed, and Carlie kicked out, snarling. The hens squawked and scattered away, their distress over this strange creature strong.
Lucky for you that I can’t even stomach the thought of eating anything right now, Carlie thought with a sour snort, her eyes still burning. All it takes is one little snap, and then I could have one of your lovely warm bodies to chew on, feathers for garnish.
She winced as her stomach grumbled, then hobbled as quickly as she could across the yard to her little cottage, thankful that only livestock would be up at this hour. She could care less about her nudity, but it would be difficult to explain to an innocent early morning jogger or some kid waiting for the school bus. Especially with the angry red scratches up and down her limbs, her hair a tangled thatch, and being outside in the freezing air of dawn.
Could say that I was part of an orgy, she thought dryly as she picked her way through the icy clumps of grass – her soles were as tough as leather, but she didn’t need any additional discomforts to her sorry state. That’s typical teenager behavior, right? Orgies and vandalism?
Never mind that sex was off the table for as long as she could help it, and that taking part in acts of random vandalism would only invite attention she did not want. She couldn’t afford to be careless. Especially when she had just got settled.
She finally made it to the backdoor, and with a groan, knelt down and scratched around for the key. Her shoulder knocked against the door, which gave slightly.
Carlie’s head shot up, her eyes wide and alarmed, the panic jolting through her erasing any lingering aches. Did I not lock it last night? Fuck.
She rose, her eyes narrowed in fear, and tensed her body in anticipation before she threw open the door violently. She registered the bang as it echoed in the low light of the cottages living room, and she looked around with wary eyes. Everything seemed to be fine...
She sniffed the air to be sure, and then let out a growl, both out of impatience at her uneasiness and as a warning for anyone fool enough to be hiding in the shadows. She crossed over the threshold and into the sanctity the familiar darkness offered her, raising her chin defiantly. Even if there is someone in here, screw you. I need a shower.
She limped down the hallway, her eyes still searching for any sudden movements or shadows that shouldn’t be there. It wouldn’t really be a problem if she had to take on an intruder. She could still fight, but when all she really wanted to concentrate on was on losing herself to the steady thrum of hot water, letting it pour off her head and back and erase the stiffness in her joints...
She pushed her worries away, and soon Carlie stood under the water a few minutes later, shampooing her hair, her skin bright pink with the heat of it while the steam rolled up towards the piney ceiling and smudged the glass of the windows, making the dim early morning rays of the sun blurry.
She watched with lazy eyed satisfaction as mud and dried blood sluiced away from her and swirled down the drain. Practically purring from the comfort, she luxuriously stretched under the spray, feeling her tendons and muscles become rejuvenated. All that was left was a nice long nap before she went out for groceries, and then she would be ready for another glorious run…
She ran long fingers through her sodden hair, and then reached for the bottle of conditioner that stood next to her on the shelf. She normally didn’t use it, but she felt like luxuriating today. She purposefully squeezed out more then she should, and then rubbed it into her scalp, closing her eyes at the lovely sensation. God, she loved when she had time to pamper herself, though what Carlie thought was pampering was what the majority of people saw as basic necessities hygiene.
As her fingers worked away at her scalp, bits and pieces of images from last night came back to her…racing the wind and the shadows along the snaking line of the river, chasing after young rabbits fool enough to venture out while she was hunting, howling with joy and mockery at the stars stuck in the sky while she ran free. Her fur had blended into the night as she flew over the gorges, the ditches, jumping and rebounding off rocky sides. She had run through the black and silver forest, her eyes and heart and lungs feeling the tug of the moon each time her paws had struck the ground.
She tilted her head towards the spray and opened her moth, gargling the water that pooled there, feeling the track of it across her cheeks like tears. Her howl had been a song that night, not a wail of misery.
As much as she loved the fierce joy of pack-running, sometimes she had to be on her own. The night seemed more open when bloodlust was not making her vision tunnel, and she hated to even think of the chance of that lust transforming into any other kind of desire. She was still too young in the eyes of the pack to mate, thank fuck. From a human standpoint, she was at the stage when sexual explorations were primed and waiting for her, ready for her to learn.
But she simply didn’t want to learn, not yet anyway. She simply wasn’t human, either.
She shut off the spray and stepped out of the stall, the steam parting around her like water around a rock. She took deep breaths, letting the moisture curl into her belly. She hated the bold, fruity scents of bathing products – they smelled too artificial to her nose, and aside from deodorant, she normally did without perfume or other cosmetics. But Sophia had been able to find a line whose products had a gentle powdery smell that comforted Carlie. It smelled homey, a highly ironic fact given the life she led. She had been uprooted and moved to new settings ever since she was seven, but hey! At least her shampoo smelled like home. She snorted, then shook her hair like a dog.
After toweling herself off, Carlie slipped into some clean panties and padded over to her bedroom, damp hair brushing her back. The curtains were drawn but the sheer cotton still let enough light in to make her room glow cozily, the warm mahogany floors smooth under her scrubbed feet. The pale yellows and warm blues intermingled and made her feel even sleepier, and she yawned hugely before heading over to the only dresser in the room. She normally didn’t bother with nightclothes after showering, but she had been woken up too many times to the sound of people moving around the kitchen or the living room or outside her door, and having time to get decent was a foreign concept to most of the pack.
She tugged a grey tee-shirt over her head that she was pretty sure was Grant’s – she had given him permission to use her room to change for welding, and he had a habit of forgetting certain shirts he knew she liked. This one had been washed so many times the cotton was like angel down on her skin. It slid over her head, and she inhaled deep, the rich, woodsy smell of her pack-pal making her grin. She would have to talk to him about spoiling her like this, the fucking dork.
She turned her attention to the floor, spotting a pair of yoga pants. She quickly snatched them up, tugging them over her legs before they stopped just as she was pulling them over her thighs. Confused, she looked at the label, then growled in supreme irritation. Sophia’s.
Carlie sighed and kicked off the pants, and wandered over to the dresser once more for sweatpants. She couldn’t blame her cousin for being willowy and leggy and a much smaller size than Carlie, especially when Sophie had openly longed for Carlie’s muscles. And she had told Soph that her room was open to change in. But she could blame the average fashion designer for not creating clothes that catered to her body type. She glanced at herself in the mirror attached to the dresser, trying to study the reflected image without vanity.
The long, lean muscles of her legs and arms were her favorite feature, both limbs ballads to her love of running. The puppy fat of her youth still clung to her stomach, giving her a softness she wasn’t sure she liked. Her entire frame was etched with faded pink lines of old and healing scars – she only wore tank tops around the rest of the pack. Her flannel shirts hid everything well enough, even when the classrooms of the all the schools she had gone to boiled in the summer. She’d rather swelter in misery then risk nosey questions that just might unearth more information than she was comfortable with sharing. It had happened once, it could happen again.
She turned her attention to her face and bit back a sigh. She still had a bruise lingering on her chin from when she had misjudged a distance and rammed into a hulking pine on one of her runs. It stood out like a stain of ink upon her pale skin, a smudge of gray and lilac standing out amongst the coppery freckles smattered across her cheeks and nose. Her hair was tawny, wild and long and wet, the blunt bangs as always making her eyes look like they were peering out from some shadowed place, the gray blue of them alternating between icy and warm.
Just like Mom’s.
She shook her head and yanked on her usual pair of sweatpants, the ones that Sophia kept on threatening to burn one day. Got to get some real sleep, I’m getting sappy again.
She slid underneath comfortably cool sheets, and then wriggled around, letting her form become increasingly wrapped up in the plush multitude of comforters she collected on her bed. She had always been a snuggler, and loved the nest-like feeling of the cocoon of warmth as she slept, like a rabbit in its den.
The sun had risen now, a warm golden orange now painting the surfaces that it could reach, but Carlie’s eyes were fuzzy with sleep. It was a Sunday, which had used to mean that the pack would stop by her place for breakfast. But since this was still relatively new territory for all of them, they had agreed to let everyone settle in before getting together. The slightest thing could draw attention to them if they weren’t careful and didn’t behave – a casual breakfast together would lead to wrestling matches and injuries that would have the nurses at the local hospital whispering. Anything could uproot them.
But Carlie did not think of this, only let her eyes get heavier and heavier as the warmth pulled her deeper and deeper into a welcoming darkness, where she didn’t have to think about starting at another new high school tomorrow, or the squabbles of the pack.
She buried herself deeper into the blankets and let out a soft growl of contentment. Last night had been a night to howl with joy. Now was the time to rest herself and simply dream of the moon on her back and chasing after rabbits and stars.
#suzie's original work#suzie's original characters#Carlie Willow#my wild wicked winsome wolf girl#I love this girl so much guys/gals/non-binary pals#now I just have to work on Gil's introductory chapter...
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hello i have some Opinions on these moth boys
(explanations under the cut since i love crying over this dumb d-lister)
Lawful valid - The Batman: he’s got stealth skills! code breaking skills! karate skills! cocooning skills! coffee making skills!!!! and a terrible posture! Great amount of fluff and a small swarm of clothing moths following him around, what’s there not to love???? He is polite, obedient and loyal to a fault, best follower you can ask for not to mention his Charaxes form is The Cutest and literally friend-shaped. SO VALID!!
Neutral valid - Teen Titans: Sadly we lost the trademark Tacky Color scheme but on the other hand we gained so much fluff and so much beef and he even looks somewhat like a moth so i believe it was worth it :’D He gets to be in the valid row since he has a lovely spoiled daughter and he tries his best at parenting..okay not his best but he TRIES okay? and his army of giant adorable moths is a big plus.
Chaotic valid - Charaxes form from Robin etc.: listen liSTEN i could cry about the mess that’s Charaxes for days, dude sold his soul to an Actual devil just so he would be taken seriously (and he still gets called a geek lmao) and that’s just the start of this wild ride!! Don’t let me started on the plotline about his ..offsprings... it was all v fucked up but he still cared deeply about them despite all, he is valid and nothin u say can convince me otherwise! He does look like everything BUT a moth (and charaxes sp. is a fuckin butterfly, vast majority of lepidoptera are moths but of course this idiot picks a butterfly) but i will let it slide cuz he has been through enough. He eats yarn for godsake! and people.. sometimes..
Lawful dumbass - ‘classic’ Killer Moth from Batgirl Year One etc.: Dare i say an Iconic Look, Iconic Personality, Iconic Dumbass!!! Spends all his money on moth gijinks, then picks up a random pyro in a bar when crying to this stranger he met for the first time about how hard his life is and then throws up when said pyro is more than he could chew. And that’s just the basic outline, this version is honestly a Gift that just keeps on giving.
Neutral dumbass - Lego Batman videogames: tbh i was THIS close to putting this boy into the Valid row just by the virtue of him being lego.. (he was out-valid’ed tho) im still so proud of him, he has joined the A-listers ever since the FIRST lego batman game, what an accomplishment! And he doesnt even care that much about crime, give him a bigass lamp and he will be happy! (Ooh lightbulb!) Truly a neutral dumbass who thinks moths are rodents... Oh and he leaves a sparkling trail when he flies!
Chaotic dumbass - Prime earth!KM from Green Arrow etc.: THE !!! ABSOLUTELY!! BEST!!! BOY!!!!!! (im not biased at all) Sassy young hipster who joined the villain scene not entirely sure what his modus operandi will be AND NOT EVEN HAVING DECIDED ON HIS ALIAS! Sure, the loss of striped tights stings, that hoodie aint really reminiscent of a moth and even frikin Mr. Freeze along with bazillion other characters got a mohawk in his redesign but MY BOY PULLS IT OFF!! even with the heavy gaz tanks he now wears just for the Aesthetic, his gun nowhere in sight.. He gave us such ICONIC lines as “D-lister? I’m hurt I’m at least a C-lister” and "That’s okay, i’ll just sit there and try not to be too self conscious, thank you very much.” Honestly please read his short story in the first Legends of tomorrow, i guarantee every panel is a Blessing.
Lawful bastard - Booster Gold: None of the Killer Moths get much respect but this one corrects one of his henchmen that he should address him as KILLER moth only for said henchman immediately call him Moth again :’D His moth-cave is such a bat-cave knock off im surprised he doesnt have a giant moth-tyrannosaur there.. But the thing that landed him in the bastard row was that when he accidentally got street cred for “defeating” Batman (thanks Booster) he upgraded to this uglyass bat-moth suit and ruined Gotham with his Protection scheme that actually worked for once. He deserves some credit for being able to keep that rep though! I am still not sure how he did that, one knocked out Bat does not make the Top Rogue....
Neutral bastard - Golden Age!KM: Actually really capable Moth?? I mean he looks ridiculous as fuck swinging on that string of his like a kid in a school play but his plans had their merits and stumped the Caped Crusader a few times! he was actually the first to come up with the “plastic surgery to look as Bruce Wayne” idea, take that Hush! Bonus points for giving us the flashy color palette and the Best vehicle designs. Still, highly cursed because some artists shown him opening his mask like a beak full of teeth.
Chaotic bastard - Batman Shadow of the bat: Waaay too trigger happy for a loser like Killer Moth should be, he gets kicked out of a squad for being Too bloodthirsty.. Would sell you (and himself) to satan for one cornchip. The costume combines the worst of too realistic and not lookin at all like a moth but admittedly he still looks ridiculous and kept the colors so not the worst there is i guess.
#killer moth#drury walker#cameron van cleer#batman#batman rogues#dc#hello first post makes sense id use it for killer moth memes#this blog will hopefully be about my Patchwork Earth version of DC and headcanons about my faves#maybe a comic sideblog cuz i have way too many saved in my likes to reblog on main ah ha#anyway im always up to cry about DC characters hit me up#k
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Hi there! How do u like number 3 with ofc kylux? In some modern au? :)
Hi!Thank you so much for sending in a prompt. I really hope you’ll enjoy! “i just want to see you smile…”
“What isthis about, Ren?”Even though Hux knows better, there is an annoyed edge to his tone that makesRen frown. In hindsight, his expression has been strangely hopeful from themoment Hux stepped into their shared apartment. But Hux is too tired to correct himself, eyesbarely open above purple shadows and hollow cheeks. His day has been abysmalto the point where he actually considered throwing Mitaka out of the window fornervously declaring the loss of important insurance files, potentially costingthem half a fortune. So Hux is understandably unenthusiastic about the prospectof any more surprises, especially the kind that will make his childishboyfriend excited enough to practically leap on him before he even has thechance to take his coat off. “You will see.”Ren hovers over him radiating his particular brand of intense energy whichnormally never fails to make his cock hard. Today, however he can’t bringhimself to consider anything other than to watch some mindless television showuntil he falls asleep drooling on Ren’s massive chest. There is a kink in hisneck that has been making it exceedingly difficult to turn his head while thecramped muscles in his back are painfully reminding him that he is approachinghis mid-thirties and thus, leaving his prime faster than expected. Which isespecially ironic, seeing as some of his co-workers are inappropriately upsetbecause of his age and the fact, that he’s in a position of power while theyare doomed to spend the rest of their work life underneath him. Although theyshould all feel thoroughly satisfied as First Order Corp. has sealed importantdeals throughout the last two years of his leadership, he notices sharp eyesfollowing him to his office, arrogant smirks in the canteen where he is forcedto listen to poorly concealed gossip about his abilities, supposedly baddecisions and, infuriatingly, his relationship to the heir of a rivallingcompany. Conflict of interest! They spout such garbage with revoltingconfidence, making Hux wonder if he is actually paying High Schoolers for playing dressup six days a week.When Ren rests his hands on his shoulders, Hux can’t help but feel himself meltinto the familiar warmth. After they first started fucking, almost six yearsago, Ren had been amused with Hux’s post-coital behaviour: Entirelytoo fixated on Ren’s size, idly touching every muscle to feel it flex beneathhis fingertips, culminating in his still lingering tendency to press theirpalms together, marvelling at the difference. Maybe it’s some kind of soothingspell, because Hux sighs when Ren does it now, leaning in for a small kiss thatleaves Hux wanting.
“Not yet.” It is truly annoying Hux how Ren seems to enjoy this artifically constructed sense of superiority over him. Why can’t he just get it over with so thatthey can move on to more pleasant parts of the evening?Ren apparently notices the shift in Hux’s mood. He always does. Sometimes thiscauses them to shout at each other until Ren decides to silence him by crushingtheir mouths together, their passion often bordering on actual violence. Othertimes, Ren feels particularly sensitive about any perceived slight and Hux can’t bring himself to soothe his every whim, causing them to bite with wordsuntil their minds are bleeding. It is when Hux ponders the potential end oftheir relationship, that he’s overcome by grief, so violently that it tearsdown the walls of his pride, bit by bit, until he can see Ren again, standing onthe other side. Now, itmakes his boyfriend grab his chin and force him to stare into his eyes. Hux’s dicktwitches hopefully, sensing the beginning of an intense session of fucking, buthe only meets warm reassurance: “I promise it’s worth it.”Hux opens his mouth to protest, he hates games like these, but Ren’s hand isquicker, pressing down on his lips.
“Are you going to be trusting and good for me, Hux?”Hux stares wide eyed and nods as if compelled by an unseen force. “I am now going to give you your surprise and you’re going to close your eyesand wait it out patiently.” Something in Ren’s gaze hardens with want, makingHux gasp wetly against his palm. “And afterwards you can reward me by puttingthat mouth to better use than complaining.”Hux is speechless but he likes being told what to do at times, especially whenwork has drained him to an empty shell of exhaustion. However, he feels helplessly stupid, standing there with his eyes closed in the middle of theirkitchen, but even he can’t find it in him to spoil whatever Ren has planned –no matter his reservations. His heartbeat spikes anxiously when the rustling next door stops, and Ren’s shuffling footsteps comecloser. “Give me your hand.”
“Ren—”
“Don’t be so fucking paranoid.” That asshole has the audacity to laugh at him!
Lifting his palm uncertainly, he shrieks when it touches something soft andwarm. Ren catches his wrist, locking him in place and guiding his hand downcarefully. It is then, that a satisfied chirp solves the mystery. “You didn’t…”Hux eyes flutter open. His sweaty palm is pressed against the fur of a red cat,currently busy with curiously sniffing at him with its pink, wet nose. Ren looksdown at him smugly, clearly expecting to be praised as he holds the cat like aprize he just won. “Her name is Millicent!” Ren announces pompously.Heat rises to Hux’s cheeks as emotions was over him. There is something in thepit of his stomach that now of all moments decides to frantically crawl its wayup into his throat, effectively robbing him of his breath. Ren and the cat blurover before Hux manages to wipe at his eyes, embarrassed by his outburst.Ren seems worried, knitting his brows together: “You’re not seriously mad atme, are you?”Hux shakes his head, voice stolen by this unspeakable thing still expanding, spillinginto his chest. He tries to compose himself as quickly as possible, warmthspreading to his hands and legs, head swimming. He feels insane all of a sudden, wants to leapup and kiss this strange, giant-man for falling into his life, butall he manages is: “I really hope you know how much a cat costs.”Ren inhales, to say something stupid without a doubt, so it is Hux who shusheshim this time, kissing him softly. “I can’t believe it!” Ren says after they separated. “You’re still like this! Willyou smile already? You always look so fucking defeated, I hate it. I just wantto see you smile.”Too exhausted for a witty remark, Hux does so, noticing that it doesn’t feel as foreign as expected, although it makes his cheeks hurt. For once, everything seems to be exactly where it should be.
Ren smirks: “I told you, you could put your mouth to better use.”Hux raises an eyebrow. “I can’t believe how cheesy that is. I am offended.”Ren leans forward once more, lips brushing purposefully against the sensitiveskin of Hux’s ear: “You can also give me a blowjob.”
#Kylux#Armitage Hux#Kylo Ren#Benarmie#kylux modern au#kylux ff#kylux fanfiction#sw ff#General Hux#tlj fanfiction#My writing#long post
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op oc #3: APRIL
im baaaaaaack
u are about to read about my prime DAUGHTER april. the rogue princess. a real pokemon! hahahhahaha she nabbed herself the AURA AURA FRUIT yo this is wild so get ready to learn about ol’ blue eyes!!!!!!!!!!
NAME: april (i dont have a surname for her i cant think of anything and ive had her for 8 years im sorry)
EPITHET: “aura shooter” ooOOoOOoOoo
AGE: 18 (pre) 20 (post)
BIRTHDAY: april (incredible would u have ever guessed) 5th!!!
BIRTHPLACE: nimbasa island in the south blue
SEX: female
HEIGHT: 5′6″
WEIGHT: 122lbs
HAIR COLOR: sandy brown
EYE COLOR: blue
APPEARANCE: before she escaped her home, she wore an icy blue dress underneath a navy blue cloak and her hair down with a CROWN of course but she hated wearing it a lot. her hair when worn down reaches the middle of her biceps. after she escaped she ONLY wore her hair in a ponytail and she always wore a red bandanna with a white arch atop her head at all times!! it was a gift from her mamma the QUEEN herself. she also wore a white t-shirt with red triangles bordering the collar and the ends of her sleeves. does that make sense? i sure hope. she wore a red sash around her waist and then she popped on some black pants and boots. real piratey. also some of her hair kinda pops out in the front so theres a good chunk that sometimes covers her left side. look at u go princess. AFTER the timeskip she cut her hair so it reaches just above her shoulders, and instead of wearing her hair up and with the bandanna, she wears it down but with a black headband. her bandanna is tied around her left bicep (fashion inspo: zoro). she wears a green sleeveless crop top, and theres a scar that reaches from the back of her shoulder to the end of her collarbone. she earned that shit from her wild timeskip training. oof. shes ok. she wears light-washed pants and some addidas-lookin shoes lmao she also wears a rly loose belt too. also she has gold earrings and thas about it. her eyes are round and just v pretty and blue. her nose turns up at the end just a tad bit and it’s so cute she’s so cute. she has a dimple on the right side of her mouth. her mommas face :’) shes fairly skinny but after the timeskip she gained some muscles made 4 punching douchecanoes
REPRESENTATIVE SMELL: vanilla
FAVE FOOD: pasta
FAVE DRINK: lemonade
FAVE SEASON: fall
REPRESENTATIVE NATIONALITY: australian
BOUNTY: initial bounty was 60,000,000 (for being runaway royalty) but after dressrosa she SKRTED up to 155,000,000
DEVIL FRUIT: aura aura fruit
a paramecia type. the fruit allows the user to manipulate their energy. with the aura aura fruit, users are able to detect the aura of others, repel the aura of others, and project their own. the power of aura is mood-sensitive and can change a lot. can u believe april is lucario
6 forms of aura: red is physical nature, orange is intelligence, yellow is sheer willpower, green is healing, blue is emotion, vioilet(i THINK) is mental communication. i forgot what i wrote down for the aura types lmaoooo
the biggest drawback of this fruit is that the user can only use a limited amount at one time. another drawback is that they cant manipulate other people’s aura??? it’s rly hard to explain this but trust me it makes sense when it’s put into action i promise
SKILLS SET: most of her attacks are used with red aura since it relates to physical nature. wild. “aura bullet” is just shootin aura goodbye. i love pokemon. lmao. uh “aura detect” is when she can see what someone else’s aura looks like, so basically she can determine if someone is a bastard or not before they even open their mouth. “aura clone” clones herself with aura and that takes a LOT of effort to pull this one off especially when she wants to use multiple clones. “aura bomb” yo this one is wild she uses it for diversions and escaping since it kinda acts as a smoke bomb but when she uses this thing in battle OOOOH BOY. “starstorm” ok this is like the “im going to die after i do this move” kinda thing. it combines all the damn types of aura and it just RAINS down on ppl. goodbye april. anyways there are more basic moves but i dont rly wanna get too into that rn im sorry
PROFESSION: runaway princess lol
CREW: straw hat pirates
PERSONALITY: an easygoing girl. v mellow for the most part but there are times where she can get pretty goofy (thanks jack). if the wrong buttons are pushed, she becomes a HURRICANE. she does have confidence issues but since she met luffy, she’s really started to overcome them. shes got a horrible habit of being sarcastic and also she asks a LOT of questions holy SHIT honey. she is TERRIFIED of heights so when franky lays down a good ol coup de burst, her soul leaves her body. g o o d b y e. she was very cold when she first met luffy and the gang bc she lived with the person who killed her mom AND jack left sooooo she was a little bitter. eventually she learned to rly live with the mugiwaras. when she first joined the crew, she was very shy and timid and tried hard to fit in. she was SO intimidated by zoro like he genuinely scared the fuck out of her so she always tried hard to not be a Fool around him but once she got comfortable with everyone she just had a good ol time. “hey grassy ass!! :))” “can u fucking not call me that”. she has the CUTEST laugh oh me oh my. honestly just a rly passionate gal, she just wants to be strong and be able to protect her pals. refuses outside help. bros out with luffy and usopp and chopper sometimes but also judges them from afar like nami does. it all just depends on the day. truly. i once wrote a series of one-shots where each one was an adventure that april had with one other straw hat. luffy was the first one, and THAT was wild. zoro’s was fucking baller. so on and so forth. rly shows off her dynamic with each member. april? shes honestly just a good person and im proud of her bc she works so hard
LIKES: training, traveling, every single animal ever, reading
DISLIKES: heights, the marines, the heat, people who walk horrifically slow in crowded places
WEAPON(S): aside from her devil fruit shes got a dagger she sometimes uses. jack gave one to her right before he left
HISTORY: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
king jed and queen serena had a baby girl. APRIL. that made her the princess. anyways she grew up as any princess would--spoiled. however the spoiling never got to her head bc serena was so good about teaching her things like that. serena was a goddess i love her pls come back. serena was wildly popular with the citizens of the kingdom bc of her caring and friendly personality. she would always take april into the kingdom every day and pay visits to the citizens. out of all the citizens they paid visits to, the most common faces she saw were those of the solo family. cain was jed’s most talented and trusted knight. he and his wife celeste had 2 kids: jack and sho YO. jack was 7 yrs older than sho and 3 yrs older than april. april and jack became fast friends and often explored the kingdom together. regular kid stuff u know. jack’s mom was always like “jack NO u CANNOT take the PRINCESS to the farms thats FILTY” hahahah but they went anyway.
jed? a dark man. idk who hurt him or what made him so murderous. but. he was tired of serena treating the citizens like equals. he believed that royalty should be viewed as gods.
when april was 8 jed killed serena oh god there it is theres the tragic anime mom death. as soon as serena died, the dynamic of the kingdom instantly changed. soon after jed took total control, people began leaving the island. eventually, the island became so empty that only a handful of families remained. jed did not allow april to leave the castle at all, and with that rule, it damaged the friendship that she and jack had. ofc around that time jack’s dad ran off as well so he stopped tryin to visit her for a bit. but then once he got back into his groove hed sneak all about, avoiding the night patrols, and hed just sit outside of april’s window and talk to her.
when april was 11 she discovered a devil fruit hidden away in the trashed artifacts that belonged to her mother. she ate the devil fruit and was like “now im strong, fight me JED” but lol she got her ass whooped poor bby
when april was 16 jack left the island, leaving her completely and utterly alone. the exposure to such loneliness began to change april into a more reserved, bitter person.
2 yrs later the STRAW HATS stumbled upon the island. at that time april had started a habit of sneaking out of the castle to roam the empty streets of nimbasa, but during one of her strolls, she encountered robin, franky, and brook. she ended up knocking them unconscious bc she felt threatened. the second group she met consisted of zoro, chopper, and sanji. they had been captured by guards and were brought into the throne room to be interrogated by jed. april was required to be there as well so she kinda sat in her throne and looked mad the entire time. sanji was like “NO WHY DOES SHE LOOK SO MAD SHE NEEDS TO BE HAPPY” and zoro was like “ive never seen someone so happy to see my face” and chopper was just having a crisis bc they were abt to be tossed into the shadow realm at the hands of the king. zoro got mouthy and jed didnt have none of that shit so he told april to kill zoro but she just knocked him out instead. that pissed jed off. THE NEXT person she met was luffy. she only met luffy bc he infiltrated a banquet thing by sitting underneath a cart. classic luffy. she didnt meet nami and usopp until WAAAAY later. yadda yadda yadda shit goes down (i wrote a whole arc for this. it’s called the princess and the pirates lmao original but yes i wrote an entire arc for her recruitment and it’s A Lot) ANYWAYS luffy asked her to join the crew but she declined at first bc she thought pirates were just like her father: power-hungry and murderous. however that obv changed when she was exposed to the straw hats more
when luffy defeated jed who ate the ___ ___ fruit (tbh i forgot what fruit he ate im sorry) she KNEW she belonged with the straw hats. :’)
she still be sailin with the legends. shes had some wild times obv. her arc comes a bit after thriller bark. woopie!!!!!!! like always, lemme know if u wanna know more about her!!!
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Chapter Ten
Authors note: Sorry, I know I said I’d post this yesterday, but I got some bad news about my job and I’ve just been stressed, mopey and unmotivated. But anyway, drama ahead! Enjoy!
The next morning Everly woke up to the sound of very loud vibrations. Her brain was in a fog and her head was pounding, but she rolled over and grabbed her phone just as it stopped vibrating. The noise didn't stop right away though and she realized Harry's phone was ringing too.
“Harry,” She mumbled, gently kicking him with her foot. “Your phone.”
He grunted in response, but didn't bother moving. Everly sighed and glanced at her phone. Her heart immediately started racing as she saw that she had fifteen unread text messages and five missed calls from her father. Trying not to fly into too much of a panic, she opened the messages from him and scrolled by all the “Answer your phone right now!” messages until she found her explanation.
“Everly Georgina, what the hell is this?”
The message read with a link and once she opened she immediately felt tears come to her eyes.
“Looks like C*ntingham is at it again!”
Underneath was a picture of Harry kissing her as she was pressed against the car that had picked them up the night before.
“Harry, wake up!” She demanded, but when he simply responded with another grunt, she raised her voice. “Harry, wake the fuck up!”
Sensing something was wrong, Harry quickly sat up, his eyes glazed from sleep and his hair sticking up everywhere.
“What? What's going on?” He asked, concerned. “Are you okay?”
“No, I'm not okay!” Everly said as a tear rolled down her cheek. “They know! The press know, they took a picture of us outside the club last night when you kissed me. This is why I wanted to keep this between us! This is why I didn't want you to kiss me until we got in the damn car!”
“Everly, take a breath,” Harry instructed, relieved that no one had died. “We knew they would find out eventually, we can't hide from them forever.”
“It's going to ruin everything, Harry,” Every insisted, her lip quivering. “The press, and really most of England, hate me.”
“Why?” Harry furrowed his brow in confusion, his hungover brain not able to process things fast enough.
“Because I'm a rich, privileged white girl who acted like a brat because she wasn't getting enough of daddy's attention,” Everly reminded him. “People don't like those kinds of girls.”
“But you haven't had it easy,” Harry pointed out. “You've been through a lot.”
“They don't care! I got almost more hate than Adam did during in his trial!”
“What?”
Everly wiped away her tears and picked up her phone.
“Listen to this,” She said, scrolling down to the article. “Apparently now the attention she received from being a victim, and we use the term loosely, of domestic abuse has died down, Miss. Everly Cunningham has found a new way to get herself in the spotlight. Photographed outside of Makhiki nightclub late last night, it would appear she's got her claws in Prince Harry. After his tour in Afghanistan, the party Prince was thought to be turning over a new leaf and keeping away from the wild life he used to live, but it seems he's not finished with it yet. Hopefully he comes to his senses soon, we can only imagine what the Queen must think of his partnership with such a disgraceful young lady.”
A quiet sob fell from Everly's lips as she finished reading. She was embarrassed, they were so needlessly mean to her when they had no idea what her relationship with Harry was like. Harry sighed and pushed himself up so he was sitting next to her and pulled her into his arms.
“It's going to be fine,” He assured her, stroking her hair gently. “My family can control the press to some extent and I can release a statement telling them to leave you alone.”
“Then they'll just make horrible comments about me forcing you to come to my defence.”She sniffled, pulling herself out of his arms as her phone rang again. “I have to go, I need to talk to my dad.”
She scrambled out of the bed and started looking for her dress which had been frantically tossed aside the night before.
“You're leaving?” Harry asked, confused by her reaction. “Don't you want to talk about this and figure it out?”
“My dad is about to have a stroke, Harry,” She told him, gesturing to her phone that was vibrating loudly on his nightstand. “I have to deal with that before I can even think about anything else.”
Harry was about to protest, but as his phone started vibrating again as well he realized he probably had some people to talk to as well.
“Alright, I'll call a driver for you.” He sighed.
Everly mumbled her thanks as she struggled into her tight dress.
*
As the car pulled up outside Rupert Cunningham's house, Everly felt her chest tighten. There were so many thoughts rushing through her head about her relationship with Harry and how it's future might be affected now the press were involved that the thought of fighting with her dad on top of all that made her want to cry. But she knew it had to be done so she took a deep breath and got out of the car.
“Jesus, Everly. What on earth are you wearing?” Her father questioned her the second she appeared in his living room.
“Well, you seemed eager to talk to me, I didn't think you'd want to wait while I went home to change,” She explained. “So I came straight from Harry's.��
His eyes flashed with anger at the mention of his name.
“Why are you doing this?” He asked, cutting right to the chase.
“Doing what, dad?” Everly asked. “Being happy? Finally finding someone who treats me nicely?”
“Dragging our name through the papers again!” He clarified. “For God's sake Everly, all the good things I did for this country when I was Prime Minister have been completely over shadowed by how you behave.”
Everly felt the anger bubbling up inside her. They'd never, in all the years that she'd been acting out to get his attention, actually discussed it and she could feel it all coming out now.
“So the fact that Adam beat the shit out of me for three years is my fault?”She questioned. “I'm sorry my trauma reflects so badly on you.”
“No, that wasn't your fault,” Rupert shook his head. “But the fact that you started dating some low life drug dealer in the first place is!”
“I'll give you that,” Everly agreed. “I'll admit that I made a lot of bad, embarrassing choices when I was younger, but did you ever think for a second why I was behaving like that?”
“Because you wanted attention, just like you do now,” He informed her. “And I wasn't going to be the kind of parent that gave in to that kind of behaviour and gave you want whatever you wanted.”
“I'm not with Harry because I want attention. He makes me happy, we've been together for months and I didn't want the press to know about it,” Everly insisted. “And do you know why I wanted attention when I was younger?”
“Because you were e a spoiled brat who couldn't stand the fact that I was busy with my career and not giving you every ounce of my attention.”
Everly felt tears prick her eyes at her father's harsh view of her.
“I didn't want every ounce of your attention,” Everly said as she swallowed hard to keep the tears at bay. “I wanted a tiny bit of it. You threw yourself into the election when mom died and I had no one and no support and I wanted you to talk to me, pay attention to me and help me through it.”
Her father's angry, stern, scowl faltered slightly at her explanation.
“Everly, that's not fair,” He said quietly. “You can't hold that against me, I'd just lost my wife.”
“And I'd just lost my mother!” Everly cried as a tear fell down her cheek. “You were the only parent I had left and you weren't there for me.”
“I was there for you as much as I could be!” He insisted. “And you're an adult now, Everly. You need to take responsibility for your own actions instead of placing the blame on me.”
“I'm not putting the blame on you,” She choked out. “But if you've been there for me as much as you possibly could be, why weren't you at the trial?”
“What?” Rupert blinked, confused by the change of topic.
“Adam's trial, when I had to testify. You weren't there.”
“Why would I want to sit through that?” He asked her. “Why would I want to sit and listen to the hell that you went through for years without me noticing? I don't think I could have stood it.”
“Then don’t you dare claim you’ve been there for me as much as possible because it's not always about what you want,” Everly sniffled. “I needed you there, I needed support and to know that you were proud of me.”
“I'm not proud of you,” Rupert scoffed. “I'm glad you're out of that mess, but I'm not proud of how you've destroyed your life. And your mother wouldn't be either, your mother would be ashamed.”
Everly felt her heart clench at his words even if she knew they weren't true and just as a sob fell from her lips, a voice interrupted them.
“Rupie? I heard shouting, what's going on?”
A young, blonde woman who looked to be barely twenty-five walked into the room, assessing the situation.
“Who the fuck is this?” Everly asked, stunned by the scene in front of her as the mystery woman walked over to her father and slid her hand protectively into his.
“Who the fuck am I?” She asked, matching Everly's snarky tone. “Who the fuck are you?”
“I'm his daughter!”
The woman's attitude instantly switched as a smile broke on to her face.
“Oh my gosh, it's so nice to meet you! I'm Natasha, your father's girlfriend.”
She stuck out her hand for Everly to shake, but after a few awkward moments of Everly ignoring it, she lowered it again. Rupert looked incredibly uncomfortable and not at all like the angry, confident man he had been moments before as Everly looked at him with absolute disgust in her eyes.
“You think mom would be ashamed of me?” She questioned, her voice harsh and angry. “I think you need to take a long hard look in the mirror and reassess which of us you think she would find the most shameful right now.”
With that, she turned on her heels and stormed out of the house, ignoring Rupert calling her name as she ran out the door.
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A surprising epiphany
The first general election, indeed the first poll of any kind, that I was eligible to vote in, was 2010's. I was coming to the end of my fresher year, I had just discovered Twitter and I was furious with Gordon Brown.
I remember reading Tony Blair's letter in The Independent in 2007. It was all I could do to stop a tear running down my cheek - I was in the school library! - because of the indecent and incendiary downfall of one of the greatest people to have lived. Tony Blair was the only prime minister I knew (I was too young and apolitical to have even heard of John Major) and had undoubtedly given me my chance at life.
My generation is a strange one. Those of us from working-class backgrounds are too young to know about the Thatcher years: all we know is the grumblings of our families, who were seemingly uniformly "fucked over" by the capital-B "Bitch". And yet we're also too young to fully appreciate how different our lives are from our parents'. We had vastly improved education; we have benefitted in innumerable ways from the explosive growth in the economy under the Blair government's stewardship; we were disproportionately devastated by the 2007 financial crisis. It is not an exaggeration to say that without the 1997 election result, my life, and the lives of many of my peers, would be completely different - and undoubtedly worse.
But it is the middle generation, our parents, the very people who voted for Blair in 1997 in order to give us greater opportunities, that are now complaining. Everyone is doing better than they did in the Eighties and Nineties. Some people - the Elite - are doing very well indeed. But because the JAMs don't share their ambition and determination - the very qualities we millennials have picked up and are putting to good use - they have turned against progress. And in so doing, they've turned against their children. And we will have to bear the pain.
In June 2007 I could not have predicted where we would be today: Brexit wasn't anywhere near the horizon, DCAM was too busy hugging huskies and hoodies to care about his crusading backbenchers, and Gordon Brown was riding the wave of coronation - much like Theresa May until recently. In 2007 I was an Independent-reading, freshly bespectacled(!), library-dwelling über-geek, just discovering politics but without any affiliation. I listened to Ming Campbell as intently as Alastair Darling. I had just sat my GCSEs and was busy preparing for Sixth Form. The financial crisis hit in the summer, and my interest in global affairs became real. In December Nick Clegg became the leader of the Liberal Democrats and as Brown's leadership qualities - or lack thereof - became apparent, I became a Lib Dem.
So in 2010 I went to the poll (twice, exercising my right to two ballots as a student) and with a wave of optimism resounding like in 1997 - especially on campuses - cast my vote for the Liberals. I was rooted to my laptop all night watching the count - it was right in the middle of exam period, I had nothing better to do! - and I relished the days of coalition talks. I did shed a tear when Brown gave his resignation speech; as much as I knew he wasn't the right man for the job, I knew this was the end of his life ambition. I read the Coalition Agreement with gusto and all-in-all it seemed fair. The Coalition represented, for the first time in many elections, a true majority of votes. We, the Lib Dems, had brought some excellent ideas to the table and we had stopped the worst of the Conservative ideology being inked.
We didn't know our Coalition partners would turn on us so vehemently and acerbically in 2015. We shouldn't have been surprised, but we were caught on the back foot. We didn't have a plan, and that allowed the Tories to take credit for the best of the Coalition and leave us to take the wrap for the worst of it. We fought the 2015 election absolutely disastrously. It was clear we were going to take a hit and I knew voting Lib Dem in my constituency would be fruitless anyway; never has a Liberal won here and it wasn't about to happen now. And unlike in 2010 - when the choice was between a government with an excellent track record but a weak prime minister, and an ostensibly strong and modernising Leader of the Opposition - this poll mattered. Hammered by his backbenchers and berated by the right-wing media, and expecting a bare-knuckle coalition fight in mid-May, Dcam's Conservative manifesto held many right-wing policies to be used as bargaining chips. Chief among these was a promise to hold an EU referendum - a policy he knew full well would never be allowed in a Lib Dem Coalition, but a get-out-of-jail free card for the increasingly self-obsessed Etonian.
As weak as Brown before him, and equally castigated by the media barons - who threw all manner of mistruths, untruths and downright lies his way - Ed Miliband nevertheless headed a well-run party with a caring, intelligent and diverse shadow cabinet. Everyone thought Labour was going to win, or at least come very close to winning, the election - and I lent him my vote, albeit with a sigh.
So when Dimbleby announced, at 22:01, the result of the exit poll I was speechless and mightily disheartened. I still believed the EU referendum would be a mighty blow for the antiquated Brexiteers, but I knew the country, and our society, was going to be dragged backwards.
I continued to believe it would be a Remain vote until the small hours of Friday, 24th June. Sometime around 03:00 or 04:00 I started to feel nauseous, devastated and angry. At Dcam, yes, whose biggest life gamble had failed miserably, disastrously and irrevocably. But more so, and more completely, with my country. Or, rather, with 24% of my country. Once again, our retrograde way of life had reared its head. Once again, overnight and with conviction we have gone from one of the strongest, friendliest and greatest countries on the planet, with one of the biggest hearts, to one of the most intolerant and bigoted.
I woke, after an hour or two of sleep, on the 24th June, feeling numb. Watching Dcam's resignation speech I thought about Blair's letter and Brown's conference outside of Number 10. I did feel emotion and I shed another tear. I didn't like Dcam, and I knew he was yet another weak and poor leader, unfit to be our prime minister. But I knew he cared deeply and was hurting as much as the rest of the 48%. Broken, and finally humbled, he did the only thing he reasonably could - and probably wanted - to do: quit.
The ensuing weeks were not, as one might expect, thrilling for a politics geek; they were horrible. The worst of the Tory party was blown into the open, but this didn't appeal to my sadistic side. I wasn't feasting on the turmoil unfolding, because these were still the people tasked with running the country for the next four years, and dealing with the biggest diplomatic crisis since the 1940s. This was serious, real-life and our leadership was, once again, weak, unstable and juvenile.
May emerged, not victorious but at least unscathed. For now. Without telling anyone what her plan was, other than the repeated mantra that she had one and it was for the best that she keep it secret, she entered number 10 and started off on a whirlwind tour. First of the home nations; then of Europe; then, after the unmitigated disaster in November, to the USA, to lay an emasculated UK down at Trump's feet.
Policy after policy, none of which had been put in any kind of vote to the public, emerged. Seemingly surprised that everyone wasn't rallying around her without question, May announced the first in a serious of major U-turns: she would hold an election. After the initial wave of excitement - who doesn't like a bit of theatre - I knew this was for show, nothing would really happen and we'd still be left with May, probably with an increased number of seats, and a harder Brexit, more selfish and less democratic country by 2020. I was considering doing something I promised (to myself and to society) I’d never do: abstain. (Or, more likely, spoil my vote.)
But slowly and stealthily things have been unravelling.
I can not in good conscience vote for the Conservatives, headed by the most illiberal and least transparent leader for some time, intent on reducing the country and our people to a time I do not know and would not be happy to live in.
I can not in good conscience vote for Jeremy Corbyn, wanting or expecting him and his shadow cabinet to take over the running of the country.
I can not in good conscience vote following my conscience - for the Lib Dems - knowing that that would increase the likelihood of an outright majority for the Conservatives.
It seems the best we can hope for now is a minority Conservative government (they are best placed to run the country with least disruption) but with a House of Commons that puts substantial pressure on May and her MPs to be more centrist - and for a softer, or even no Brexit. (Let there be some hope in this most melancholy of blog posts!)
So for the third time in 2 years I shall vote with a heavy heart. (Though I thought the referendum result would be Remain, I voted lamenting the calling of the plebiscite in the first place.) And for the second successive general election, that reluctant cross shall be marked for Labour.
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