#remembered how much i love her today

[lagomort]

* Noelle treated the enemy with tender loving care!

#noelle holiday #noelle deltarune #deltarune #delta rune #noelle #art city #remembered how much i love her today #also susie is the one with the syringe so lets imagine she gave it to noelle. its cute #syringe #needle

[tenspontaneite]

Everyone congratulate Kia for finally figuring out that if you want lap cuddles it's possible to jump into said lap instead of roaming around yelling until you're picked up

#my cats #kiadanta #i love her so much and she is so so stupid #she had a phase of climbing the back of my desk chair and trying to climb over my shoulder and front into lap #because just jumping into my lap instead seemed beyond her #and even then she couldnt figure out how to do the descent #she'd just hang there sadly perched on the head rest until i reached over my head to manhandle her into my lap #but today she finally jumped. like a real cat!! #hopefully she remembers this success for tomorrow's cuddle #she knows she likes lap cuddles at the desk and actively seeks them out #she specifically likes to lay with her head propped up on my arm and her paw slung over my hand or wrist #and i think that's wonderful

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

[uncanny-tranny]

I've seen some trans people who are almost in this doomerist mindset about cis people ever respecting or loving them, and I understand what that feels like and I understand where they're coming from. I remember, though, just how many cis people I know who are not only capable of respecting and loving trans people, but do so enthusiastically, and it really just makes me remember that transphobia isn't inherent to being cis. Cis people are entirely capable of learning and growing and allowing trans people into their worlds. There are always going to be those cis people who aren't at that point and might never be, but that is on them, not their cisness.

I think this small shift in viewpoint has helped me reframe my emotions about this topic. It's helpful for me to be able to take a step back and remember that being cis isn't a reason for people to not accept trans people, you know?

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #i was really upset about some transphobia i've seen from cis people and sometimes it makes me want to retreat inwards and never trust... #...a cis person again. and then i remember some of the people i know... #...like a cis friend of mine who is dating a mutual friend and he loves her so much in such a pure way... #...or another friend of mine who picked up on little hints of my transness and never once blinked an eye... #...or how about the growth my dad was capable of undergoing? #just today i was talking to him about biology and just how cool it is that the human body can adapt! #i talked to him about testosterone and educated him about estrogen! and he was completely receptive... #...like sure. there are some scary cis people out there and i will never doubt that... #...i have had my fair share of fear. but i think always being on-edge also doesn't serve us... #...because learning to fear every little thing ends up eating away at you and the person you are. it's consuming... #...and stressful. and traumatizing. and i know how that feels like. nobody deserves to live that way

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you

#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that #will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT. #anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure. #and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo #$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive #and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started #anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean #and i am just so sad right now #and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun #not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course #i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as #breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage #i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard #i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade #and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone. #i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that #:(( #honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug. #im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything

[sexynetra]

I am on a mission to learn how to draw can you believe these are literally only 4 days apart I’m feeling so pussy pussy cunt cunt rn

#also I know it doesn’t look like Marcia I literally today learned how to draw facial proportions I can’t fuck around too much yet #also I liquified her she wrong so it’s a lil fucked up but #I’m v proud :) #didn’t even touch hair or body or anything but that’s fine I just want to learn to draw Marcia’s face right #that’s goal one #I will not rest until I get this down #I will become the expert in drawing Marcia’s face #also do you love that I can’t remember any makeup look except the red and white one #I’ve used it for like 6 drawings of her now #anyways it’s crazy what a single 10 minute video on how to properly proportion a face can do #also I don’t know what my style is yet bc I just started so obviously that factors into things #anyways! #artist advice is always welcome critique might (will) make me cry :) #encouragement is always… encouraged 😉 #anyways I’m v happy with myself #even though I opened the canvas and lost track of time and blinked and it was 2 am #also can I just say it took me a few tries but I’m loving the lettering on her name :) #okay that’s it I’m going to brush my teeth and fall asleep #also I’m still trying to figure out all the secrets of procreatepls aid #marcia #marcia x3 #marcia marcia marcia #drag race fanart #my art #also there’s only a one hour difference between how long it took to do these that’s so funny #wow #also in my defense! #I was trying out different styles so I was trying to copy a more cartoonish style #but still :) #also it looks so warm on my phone rn bc I have night mode on but the colors are so pretty on my iPad :) and presumably here once night mode

[nebulouscoffee]

Me, attending the latest in a ridiculous number of funerals this year in the place of a childhood friend who couldn't be there, watching the lifeless body of an old lady who used to make me snacks in the kitchen when I was a kid be carted away forever while my friend's mother cries and tells me she's grateful I could be there because it felt like having the support of her own daughter, hugging her and talking reassuringly and not processing a single one of these emotions: ... I am going to write soooo much fanfiction about this

#''this'' being collective grief. because tbvh it's the main reason I haven't written very much this year (but will slowly start to) #I write to remind myself I am lucky. I keep telling myself this but even now when I feel awful I am so lucky #I am lucky that none of these funerals have involved very close family members or friends of mine #and I am lucky to be living in conditions with the space to write and space to grieve #and space to come together to mourn with dignity while people not that far away from me are not receiving the same privilege rn #I am lucky my dad was with me today and I spent the evening chatting with him on the terrace I am lucky he is alive I am lucky I am lucky #(apologies if this sounds like a robot malfunctioning lmao writing is just how I process things) #(and apparently I just don't seem to feel like I have the right to feel bad about any of this anywhere except my st@r trek blog hehe) #anyway. To stay on theme I shall say something about Trills :D #I imagine loss and grief must register very differently to them. very Non Linearly in the literal sense but also a highly abstract one #even I feel this massive sense of time warp between all these funerals; and this chest-crushing distance between me and my friends #how do Trills even exist #how do they wake up every day remembering all those friends and children and parents who loved them and they loved and are gone now #and still function #how does Ezri feel walking around with memories of parents that aren't hers (but were soooo much better than hers) taking care of her #does she feel comforted by them? does it feel like the people in those memories were always comforting HER specifically? #does it even matter who it belonged to originally if a memory is HERS now? #does Ezri mourn for any parents of past hosts more than she knows she will mourn for her own mother one day? #does having all this lived experience bring her reassuring amounts of perspective for a 20-something or just overwhelm her all the more? #idk; but I hope she learns to take comfort in her past hosts' memories of family eventually... #(...again. I am going to write sooooo much fan fiction about this lmao) #cw death

[bunnbunn]

Ted Lasso was about the power of love, friendship, forgiveness, family.

But it also was a long long con, it took us up the mountain of wholesome writing and then drop kicked us off it on the last episode.

It reminded us with great joy that a show finale can suck so bad, it undoes every growth arc a character has had and turn them back into their Season 1, Episode 1 selves

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #roy kent #its sad that ted was right about it not being about him #because he basically is the same man he was in S1E1 #i dont know who those people were on screen today but it was not the jamie and roy i know #ted missed beard's wedding #thats the level of concerning were have reached #rebecca and sam had more potential for a romance than the dutch stranger please #yeah please tell that astrologist that her predictions are a pile of shit #something Ted Lasso writers forgot is no matter how much a father loves their child and compromises for them and tries to make them happy #if they are unhappy inside with themselves then it leaks out and turns into a cycle of guilt #remember when michelle and ted learnt that she was trying to stay in the marriage but that was also making her unhappy #yeah where did that lesson go #bitter bitter ending #not an ounce of happiness or accomplishment or joy (yes he was excited to see henry but did that look like a man ready to leave?) #this better be just the season finale cliffhanger and not the end of ted lasso #somebody said the Beard wedding was Ted having a dream (nightmare) and i am now hoping it was just that #but also how sad if that were true #ted dreams of his bestie and everyone else moving on without him

[pleckthaniel]

The next brighter fires chapter is literally 18 scenes and I have all of them written but ONE ! it is so frustrating to be this close to done and yet still . not.

#i need to go Sandstorm Mode because everything i have left to write is her perspective #maybe that's what i'm doing today. just free writin and doodling until i remember how much i love her #scout talks #brighter fires

[remythelad]

#the pen that I use to ink died today so I can’t watercolor this or anything so enjoy this #remy is artistic #art #traditional art #anyway this is a circus baby from an AU of mine where Will gets much further advanced technology #so the funtime gang are completely different than if they were canon #i’ll share the rest of the funtimes soon but this is baby after she gets Elizabeth’s soul she doesnt remember why #but she loves this foxy doll that she is sure was made just for her #she doesnt know how to perform but she knows she must

[cinna-bunnie]

i had a fun day 2 day ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა everyone has been so nicey 2 me all day from the minute i left my house earlier ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠

i went to a Retreat for the first time for work earlier 0: and I did SO good for being up since 2am it didn't even feel like it 💀

it was so chill i drove like an hour away but Away from the city so there wasn't rly traffic and the mountains r so pretty 2 drive thru (❁´◡`❁) got some rain n v low clouds and since it's autumn there's all these pretty colors. i took an edible on the way n was just jammin out n enjoying the scenery among the many safe opportunities 2 look

and then at the thing we got 2 do different ice breakers n go on decently long breaks; i got 2 hang in different groups n actually Talk w a bunch of ppl which i never have time for omg. it's nice working at a legal nonprofit, i would NOT want to do this with corporate mfs !! 😹

went around n said hii to the enbies and i ran up a hill that looked a lot smaller than it was, i made it like 80% of the way before my legs were immediately like no girl we're done !! but my brain was like but it's Right There, and i struggled 2 finish the climb but I Did !! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა and i was so so tired i do not remember ever being that winded before 💀 getting down was so much slower n worse bc my legs were Done and when i finally made it to the bottom i laid flat on my back for like 15m, and when when i made it back to sit n chill i still need like 10 more minutes akskska. i do not b exercising !! i just wanted 2 play it looked fun and i got excited (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)

in between things i was working on my sister's choker n kept winding up w a group of ppl around me 2 talk to about it and just talk 2 in general n the company was rly nice (❁´◡`❁) ♡ had a lot of different kinda talks 2day!! everyone is a sweetie!! some ppl r so funny n chill and i rly hope 2 get 2 talk more casually w people perhaps As Friends when i go in 👉👈

there's one girl in particular who is rly cute n sweet and i want 2 see her again ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა when I got home finally i had 2 hop on my work laptop real quick 2 look up her name again 2 make sure i didn't forget ☝️😌 we do not work at the same office but hii i am visiting next week 🐇

yippee!!!! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა !!!

#i think i have become an introverted extrovert at some point 0: #which is rly nice bc my social anxiety was SO bad at the beginning of the year like i didn't even know where to start skskdksk #but i kinda figured it out? but it's also just being me? idk.. much 2 think. but i made good progress #i am getting a good grade in being funny and nice and talking to people !! #i want 2 kiss someone on the forehead #omg but if there's ANYONE who deserves a kiss it's this old lady who lives a few buildings down on the way to my car #where EVERY time i see her she always has something so so sweet to tell me about how i look #today she said I'm always looking fancy (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) ♡⁠ and more but that's the main thing i remember besides the small talk #and the first time we met she asked me if i was a model fr and she's told me I'm cute and I'm just like PLEASE SKDKDKS #i can't fully tell if you're just really sweet or kinda 👀 at me but girl u r so sweet like hello do u Want a hug or a kiss ?? i love u !! #old ladies have a warmth they fill u with that just take the weight of Everything off ur shoulders n leave u feeling full n happy!! #bless old ladies fr!! literally my favorite people to interact with always i love u abuelas everywhere u r everything to me and i would do #anything for u !!!! i miss getting to help friends grandmas w stuff as a kid 🥺 it was just always great 2 talk 2 them and be close n on #good terms n stuff :3 i was the same way with their moms hehe. hi hello i want 2 help !! (⁠✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚) #my friend is being lame and acting embarrassed but i love you please talk to me i am so so interested and think you're really #cool and funny and sweet and wise actually ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠ i wanna be around u if u wanna hang out #even if it's as simple as getting 2 help in the kitchen n always helping w dishes n stuff ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა aaa ♡⁠ #omg i was late 2 the thing too and missed the breakfast and there's this sweet energetic old lady who's always like #omg u didn't get to eat? do u want this? can i get you some coffee or tea? and I'm always just like no no it's okay I'm gonna get it but #appreciate the offer and just ૮ – ﻌ–ა she is always looking out 4 me !! but she's just a sweetie like that !! #i think sharing food is a universally good way 2 make friends and it always warms my heart 2 meet ppl who r the same (❁´◡`❁) #they r always so so sweet 😭🥰 for my astrology girlies i correctly guessed that she's a taurus hehe 😼 #there's another old lady who's an office manager for one of the offices n she is so soft spoken n sweet and i wish i got 2 hug her n talk #to her more 🥺 she's so far though omg i don't get to see her in person much #n e ways i work w some really warm bubbly ppl ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა i am a happy girlie 2day!! then im going Serious Mode again tmrw 🫡 #oo i get to setup like an Actual server for a rack w linux and it's being delivered 2 my place tomorrow 0: I'm excited abt it as a project #AND my new jewelry came in today along w some cute underwear we r starting this wk off strong !!! #there was so so much more frm 2day i am just rly stoned n thinking abt it all (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) #if u actually read all of my ramble ily ty for letting me Talk ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა ♡⁠

[cuteniaarts]

Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl

17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019

#my art #artists on tumblr #I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already #I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that #exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together #not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know #and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again #I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly #instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her #feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time #well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system #and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her #and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result #but it felt like to commemorate her in some way. #so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind #which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever #never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor #but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself #she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret #there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end #even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again #I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing #it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day #she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much #when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was #well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed #I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home #and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me #spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure #and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes

[linabirb]

seeing synthv lite and flt covers brings me so much joy.. like wow.. i can make cool stuff even with the free voicebanks.. even if they sound more robotic than the full ones..

#made a genbu and eri binomi cover today but too shy to post it.. i think it's very cool tho.. #honestly eri is one of my fav voicebanks atp. her voice is so powerful omg #also ngl even though i love love love synthv voicebanks the way they sound so human is. kinda scary shsjskks #LIKE IN A GOOD WAY. LIKE IT'S COOL HOW MUCH THE TECHNOLOGY HAS DEVELOPED #but also i have to say that one of the reasons why i always loved vocasongs sm is exactly bc they usually sound robotic #idk like i remember 9 y/o me going “THESE ROBOTS CAN SING??? SO COOL...” #and it just always filled me with so much joy like omg these guys live in a computer and they sing their silly songs.. #so even though the more human sound gives so much to work with and makes the songs sound so realistic #it kinda takes away that cute singing robot part tbh.. #so sorry i just have a lot of thoughts about vocaloid and vocal synth in general.. #[ 💚 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 ]

[newspecies]

hit one-two combo of being extremely discouraged about my character designs and being inclined to sit around and feel terrible in my room while doing nothing

#rot.txt #the character design thing is like. i just remembered how much inspiration i took from this woman when i was a beginner artist #and i know some of those character design things SHE uses a lot stuck around in my art #and then i remember that people have told me my art reminds them of hers #and then i get worried im falling into the same design pitfalls she did #and them im scared all my character designs suck shit and ass #and then i dont want to draw. hey guys what if instead of doing something that makes me happy i just sat in my room not thinking about this #its getting late i think i need to go to bed early. if i do that maybe my pokemon will love me #im also frustrated with myself for sleeping so late so often it not only sets me back in pokemon sleep but also just makes me miserable #its been a very social day maybe thats why im feeling like ass #and ive eaten like nothing today good god how am i not hungry

[ephxmerall]

 : :

.....h-h-hemlo.....?

#** t h e c o n n e c t o r [ OOC. ] #|| surprised tumblr still remembers my tags #uhm #hello #i've been once again crazy busy with life #for good reasons this time at least #my routine looks like it's going to be leveling out in the coming weeks #and i want to get back into writing here #especially nams #i miss her so much #and a talk with a coworker today just really reminded me of how much i love one piece #roleplaying was the one thing that got me through covid #and i've made so many friends here #i can't just let that go ||

[vivanightcity]

if yall aren't watching gladiators 2024, you should

the homoeroticism.

The rituals. They're so intricate.

#legend lifts a guy in the air with his thighs #and in the first episode the woman woman gladiator basically humps a contestant for so long to get her to drop in the rings game #finally watched the newest episode today #i loved this show as a kid and i don't know how much of this vibe was there then too #cause i was a child and don't remember