#sad hobo wizard | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

high-dragon-bait · 2 years

Text

Is the Sad Wizard Depicted in this Drawing Caleb Widogast or Anders Dragon Age: A Guide

Caleb Widogast and Anders Dragon Age are shockingly similar characters on paper and sometimes when you see fanart of them, it can be hard to tell who's who because of this. Here is a non-exhaustive list of their shared features you can find in fanart or just in general:

Both Caleb and Anders:

Are wizards

Really like cats

Have reddish-blonde hair

Have anywhere from a stubble to short cropped beard depending on fanart

Referred to as "wizard hobo" by fans

Have burned down their parents property in their backstories

Hopeless romantic

Are from their fantasy world's version of Germany

Chronically just look so tired

Deal with extreme self-loathing issues

Are sad

Are often drawn paired with a white-haired brooding magical elf

Lots of similarities BUT there are enough differences that it's relatively easy to tell them apart once you know what you're looking for

Here is what you're looking for

It is most likely Caleb if:

His cat is brownish-orange with black stripes

He has any dialogue with a phonetically spelled out accent consisting of lots of Zs

He's wearing book holsters

Has blue eyes

Hair is tied in a LOW pony-tail, usually a bun

He is wearing a simple BROWN coat

Is very dirty

Associated VERY STRONGLY with fire magic

Is glowing but it's from crystals in his skin

His white-haired brooding magical elf has grey/purple skin, a long flowing cloak, and is floating

It is most likely Anders if

His cat is VERY orange, light orange fur and darker orange stripes

Has any dialogue where the word "justice" is used a lot

He's carrying a staff

He has brown or gold eyes

Hair is tied in a HIGH pony-tail, usually a very short one that low-key reminds me of Sokka's "Warrior's wolf tail"

He is wearing a somewhat elaborate orange coat with green sleeves and feathers on his shoulders (note: sometimes the coat is black but the feathers on the shoulders do not go away)

Is not that dirty

Associated VERY STRONGLY with healing magic

Is glowing but it's from the spirit living inside him and often very focused around his eyes

His white-haired brooding magical elf has normal human colored skin, a really big sword, and would not be caught dead floating but is sometimes glowing

I hope this comes in handy and also a moment of silence for Dragon Age or Critical Role artists that have had their art tagged with the wrong character I have seen it happen so many times its unreal

#Critical Role #Dragon Age #caleb widogast #anders

1K notes · View notes

sapphic-scylla · 4 months

Text

Everything Wrong with the Bigotry Wizard Series (HP) Because This Transfem Feels Like Throwing Hands

(Yes, I grew up with this shit and I know these books back and forth. It’s knowledge I really wish I could forget, but if it’s in there, I might as well use it for a good cause. And that good cause is rallying people against its terribly bigoted and racist author. Also, know that this is a way of weeding out followers and potentially hateful people so I never have to see them again, so choose wisely if you intend to argue these points.)

House choices are split between Bravery, Ambition, Smart, and Everyone Else, which is Tracking and is very ineffective as a teaching system and also forcing kids into a lane. These houses compete every year for who’s better at what? Following orders? Being obedient? Which is a system HIGHLY susceptible to bias and imbalanced competition considering Snape’s unfair treatment of every house that isn’t his and the overwhelmingly unfair come-from-behind victory the Hero house had at the end of their first year because they what? Saved the world?! What kind of precedent are you setting by saying you can win in school by being a hero when there is a house based on bravery? Favoritism anyone?

No one in an entire castle has ever questioned their gender or discovered their sexual orientation? Not the twins? Or Hermione? Or Tonks? Wild. (And no, I do not count JK’s off-the-cuff tweets “clarifying lore”. If it was actually true, you would fully and unabashedly address it in the books, ya bigot.)

Ah yes, rumors of a haunted house out in a village on school grounds when actual fucking ghosts wander the halls of the school, a poltergeist is constantly causing mayhem, a sad girl haunts the girls bathroom, and a LIVE FUCKING BASILISK SITS IN THE SEWAGE SYSTEM. And those sounds in the Shrieking Shack were the product of a kid sent there because he was dealing with lycanthropy. Yeah, sounds like a healthy way to deal with a kid with a physical disability…

Wizards in EVERY OTHER part of fantasy are thousands of years ahead of everyone else. Yudala in Critical Role was investigating pocket planes, the Astral Sea, and OTHER WIZARDS THAT WERE HUNDREDS OF YEARS AHEAD OF SOCIETY ALREADY. Essek was attempting to understand his own society’s god and had cracked the secrets behind TIME AND GRAVITY MAGIC. Caleb Widogast was a transmutation master and had, not only helped Essek discover the secrets of time travel, but had the ability to alter LIFE AND DEATH. Ayda Aguefort’s library was an educational beacon in a pirate town where people refused to learn to read and was creating new spells for herself and her friends. HP wizards live like they just discovered indoor plumbing and don’t know how cars work even though they already have time travel down. WHAT?! The MOST inconsistent.

Magic system. Everyone has unlimited free access to just three phrases that can control, torture, or kill people?!? And they teach that? To students???? in MIDDLE SCHOOL?!?! WHERE THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT ARE SORTED INTO A HOUSE BRANDED AS AMBITIOUS?!?!!! Bud, D&D spells are CONTROLLED SUBSTANCES. And not only that, but spells like Power Word: Kill and True Resurrection are both 9th level spells and require not only the physical knowledge of the spell, but YEARS, even DECADES of practice for normal people to learn. Even Dominate Person is 5th level and a solid overwhelming majority of the population doesn’t even know the Friends cantrip. And most people aren’t adventuring murder hobos that go on adventures for months on end to level up super fast to get to 17th level to learn 9th level spells mechanically.

Voldemort would get fucking merked by a full line of people with firearms. Dude couldn’t even take over a school of middle schoolers without working at it for 6 years.

Did they not have therapists in Hogwarts? Pretty sure everyone at that school could have used a trained therapist or a guidance counselor with a degree.

We make jokes, but they did not have access to contraceptives. And they had High Schoolers in a giant think tank sleeping in the SAME TOWER. If you think there weren’t unplanned pregnancies in that giant bowl of hormones, you’re crazy.

The hero and his friends standing up for the giant on the school grounds? Hermione being the only one standing up for the house elves? Common courtesy isn’t a heroic trait. That’s why it’s called COMMON courtesy. And why include house elves anyway? Slavery and writing house elves as “wanting to be enslaved” IS A SHITTY MESSAGE TO PUT OUT INTO THE WORLD.

The very obvious racist naming scheme JK shamelessly put forward: Kingsley Shacklebolt (Black Character), Cho Chang (Asian Character), Parvati and Padma Patil (Middle Eastern Characters), Dean Thomas (Black Character), Seamus Finnegan (Irish Character), Fleur Delacour (French Character), and more.

Lycanthropy was confirmed by JK herself to be about HIV/AIDS, which makes how they treated Remus Lupin (another terrible name) even worse.

Rita Skeeter was a character she created to resemble and, as such, harmfully and falsely stereotype and misrepresent transpeople and how she perceives them to be. She makes an active point to describe her as unattractive, having manly features, and in the fashion similar to that of a drag queen. She also spares no expense describing her as duplicitous, dishonest, and having a habit of “changing her body to spy on children”. Even her name insinuates she’s a mosquito. And that’s not even mentioning her actual trans character in the video game, Sirona Ryan. Sir(obvious) ona(woman in Japanese). You named her Sir Woman Ryan. You fucking cunts.

Goblins. Here we go. One of the most obvious problems. Described in book as being greedy, short, intelligent, hook-nosed debt collectors that wear special hats and run all of the banks and speak their own language. And as of the most recent video game, apparently also steal children. Sounds like an awfully racist and stereotypical description of what the hateful side of the world perceives Jews to be.

Even the heroes are perpetually being shallow, reductive, and downright awful people on a regular basis. Basing people on looks, degrading a female character for standing up for mistreated people, judging people based on how quirky, different, or off normal they are. All things that really fall in basic decency if you really think about it.

Attempting a redemption arc for the Dursleys, the Malfoys, and Snape, all parties being aggressively and shamelessly abusive characters for YEARS. Dursleys sticking the MC in a closet to live, refusing him food, shutting him in from the outside world, and generally just treating him with a truly overwhelming amount of disdain IS CHILD ABUSE. Attempting to bring any measure of redemption to their relationship after 14 years of that is irreproachable and irresponsible. Snape berates, abuses, and treats the MC like shit for years because he loves the MC’s dead mother, kills one of the MC’s main mentors, and then when the MC finds all of that out, he names his kid after the guy? Nice message, bruh. And I really shouldn’t have to explain the Malfoys.

The truly insane amount of coincidences and favoritism that stems from a kid’s relatives, pure dumb fucking luck, and a life experience that just happened by chance is fucking uncanny. The world thinks its story is about love and friendship and some shit, but continues to reinforce the ideal that this kid is special because of his mother and father and all of the things that he is capable of to defend against his mortal enemy stems from that. He corrodes Quirrell’s face, he blocks a death spell with a spiritual aura that summons the ghosts of the dead, he summons a patronus that was his dad’s, the wand he picks up from the store is just NATURALLY bitter rivals with his enemy’s, a magical cup just so HAPPENS to ignore its primary function ONE FUCKING TIME to allow for the MC, A PROPHECY mentions this fucking kid and the book even tries to bring in the forcibly branded Kicked Dog™ character that none of us gave a second thought to.

Quidditch is a truly stupid fucking sport. Who wrote the rules? Let me get this correct. Seven players on each team play on a field on brooms where two ANIMATED STEEL BALLS THAT BY THEMSELVES COULD SHATTER BONE AND CAUSE DEEPLY TRAUMATIC INJURY ACTIVELY HUNT PLAYERS while people play a rousing game of handball only two have one player on each team, completely separate from everyone else, are playing the world’s most difficult game of I Spy with a ball that truly would be the hardest thing in the world to see, no matter the lighting, and if they do somehow manage to catch this sentient ball that could really just leave if it wanted to, it counts for like 9x the usual points, usually rendering the entire rest of the game invalid or forcing the other team to be so far ahead that it doesn’t even matter. Nightmarish.

Harry pretending to dose Ron’s drink to improve his performance puts forward a terrible message of “as long as it’s to help, it’s ok to dose someone’s drink with suspicious liquid”. Even if he didn’t do it, you gotta understand how that looks, right?

The ethics of love potions in society in general are incredibly loose in the books for what they should be (especially considering a student actually dosed cupcakes with them at either age 14 or 15? Either way, it’s INCREDIBLY disgusting) and the fact that they actually taught love potions to a group of middle to high schoolers and put the ability to bypass consent in their hormonal claws should go incredibly high on the shelf with death spells, torture spells, and absolute control “bend your will to my own” spells and that entire shelf should be locked away in a safe and never touched.

You’re not supposed to go into the Forbidden Forest except on the occasion that we send you as 11-year-olds in there as punishment for wrongdoing.

There’s just a tree on the grounds that can fucking kill people. And one of our founders left a snake that can petrify and poison people in the pipes. We’re also going to let hell creatures that feed on the misery and woe of the living roam the school grounds for a year hunting a prisoner that really didn’t do anything. We’re also going to bring back a tournament people have died in so that three seventeen-year-olds and a fourteen year old can compete.

If there is any more things I missed, please don’t hesitate to add them in the reblogs. I really would like to know how much more problematic behavior and how many truly distasteful writing choices I’m missing in this extensive list.

#fuck jkr #fuck hp #rot in hell Jk Rowling #fuck terfs

11 notes · View notes

onnabox · 2 years

Photo

Doing a sad hobo wizard. WIP. WHEW painting has been a while.

#caleb widogast #Critical role #critical role fanart #the mighty nein #mighty nein #liam o'brien #she's real rough right now #my art

113 notes · View notes

loralbott · 5 days

Text

It's a shame I can't make my Merlin more Hobo like in game and the lack of wizard things I can give myself is very sad

I want to give myself the braided beard :,(

#afk journey #afk arden #afk thoran #afk fay #drawing #fanart #lineart #color

5 notes · View notes

utilitycaster · 2 years

Text

So you've decided to play low combat or low magic D&D:

You probably should not.

If this were a video then I'd do a fake-out fade before coming back but unfortunately my medium of choice is "long tumblr text post no one asked for", so we must soldier on.

Here's the thing: if you are a person on the internet in TTRPG spaces, and particularly if you are a D&D player, you will, at some point, hear from someone with all the misguided zeal and smug dipshittery of a missionary, though to be fair usually significantly less of the violent racism, preaching the Good Word of Indie TTRPGs that you, stupid D&D player, simply must not have heard of.

Usually, I tell these people to fuck off, because they do not have any understanding of what game I'm trying to play, ie, D&D. However, if you want a game that's not full of combat and magic, I strongly advise you actually do check those indie TTRPGs out. PbtA isn't my jam but it is almost entirely RP and simple checks, ie, the sad husk of D&D when stripped of two of its three best qualities. Not that I'm biased. Savage Worlds, also not bad. Basically, if you want to play a game that doesn't do the core things D&D does...play a game that isn't D&D.

Ok but we want to play D&D though

If you absolutely must: pick one of low combat or low magic. You can't have both. It can, technically, be done, but only by Brennan Lee Mulligan and even then it was one of the weaker Dimension 20 seasons and also 4 of the 6 players had to be rogues. Also make sure your players are fully onboard, and both you and your players should have some experience with more standard D&D. Because here's the thing: the balance of D&D - what different classes can and can't do - tends to assume a decent amount of magic and combat. A ranger might be much more useful out of combat, but a barbarian's skill set is really skewed towards the battlefield. When you mess with the balance of gameplay, you also unbalance the classes.

(continued below the jump)

You also absolutely need to have your players on board, and this might mean "we play for 3 weeks and if it sucks, we stop, reroll, and play D&D normally," because I think a lot of people are into the concept of adding these challenges without realizing that they are actually harder and often less fun to do.

If you're new to D&D, again, I need to ask: why aren't you playing a different game that is more suited to your needs.

Ok! I've picked low combat.

Ohhhhh my god u picked low combat? should we tell everyone? Should we throw a party? should we invite the dalai lama

Now that I've gotten that out of my system: You can do this. Here's what I'd advise.

make a plot heavily dependent on intrigue, mystery, or discovery. You still need stakes and a goal, and turning this into something political, investigative, or centered around creative problem-solving.

Steer players towards what are typically known as the high-utility classes, depending on what kind of plot you've picked. If it's intrigue and politics, classes that favor charisma and stealth would be wise. If it's mystery, it's time for intelligence and high perception. If it's discovery, ranger skills are helpful. I would advise people lean towards the full casters, hybrid classes, and rogues, and even then, talk through the subclasses; war clerics are going to have a rough time of it.

It's low combat, not no-combat, and if the players snap and decide to murder hobo 1. all bets are off and 2. they're valid, and dare I say correct. Let the game evolve, and don't be too closely wed to your choice of low combat if the situation no longer makes sense for it.

I've picked low magic.

I don't have any jokes for you, just a withering glance.

You can do this, and honestly a lot of high fantasy is low magic; it's just, again, D&D has wizards in it. This situation is somewhat rife for the one character playing a full caster, if you permit that, to end up with disproportionate attention, because the other thing about high fantasy is that it has chosen one narratives, which are bad in D&D. Anyway, here's my advice.

Continuing with the high fantasy aspect: you know what high fantasy has, when it doesn't suck, is really good worldbuilding. Can you do this? No? Maybe don't play low magic. I'm not only being mean here: you better have a very good reason why there's not much magic but there is some. If magic is frowned upon, why? How is this enforced? Why didn't they stomp it out entirely? If your player is a full caster, how did they become one? Even if you burned all the arcane textbooks, if you still have things like gods and the echoes of creation and draconic bloodlines, you're gonna get some sorcerers and and bards and clerics. Why haven't they killed the people controlling magic? Is that the campaign? That would rule actually, and if you're not doing this you should....but even if you're not you really do need to do a ton of extra work on your world. You did this to yourself.

Also TBH "magic is illegal" is tough to do well and "not many people have magic, they just don't" is much easier, so like, do that. If you want truly no magic, then don't allow magic. Also play Blades in the Dark or something.

You do at least have more flexibility with general plots, so that's nice.

Do NOT skimp on combat if you've gone low-magic, because most of your PCs, unless you're doing the "we are special magic users" route (in which case, technically, the world is low magic but the game isn't), will be uh, low-magic, which means their abilities are all about fighting.

To that end: steer your characters towards martial classes unless the plot is Bringing Magic Back. Hybrid classes are good options if you'd like some magic but not too much.

FOR REAL THOUGH while a low-combat game can be framed as "these characters aren't in a place with tons of violence", a low-magic world needs the worldbuilding to support it. Are you up for the task?

#i'm bringing magic in/you motherfuckers don't know how to dm #there's nothing special that's behind your screen/why don't you just run hoard of the dragon queen #(take it to the bridge)#d&d mechanics #long post #tags that will make no sense if you don't read the post

78 notes · View notes