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#similar to each other in terms of vibes… so let me know if you’d like any other recommendations! 🌟
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hi yaz 💕 i was wondering if you had any recs to start reading poetry. i like reading dreamy, melancholic or warm concepts? i don’t even know if this is useful. but i literally have no idea where to begin 😢
hi hi hi! omg i’m actually so excited on your behalf... getting into poetry is like opening a door you always knew was there for the very first time and stepping into a brand new world laid out just for u! there is absolutely no wrong way to go about exploring it. 💌
firstly i really recommend signing up for a daily poetry newsletter because i have found so many wonderful poems that way. you can sign up for the poetry foundation newsletter here & the academy of american poets newsletter here & the paris review newsletter here! poetry anthologies are also a wonderful way of getting a taste of a lot of different works centered around a particular time period or theme & poking around in the poetry section for an interesting one next time u find yourself at a bookstore might be very rewarding for you!
and secondly here are some recs that came to mind when i thought of the words dreamy, melancholic, and warm. luckily there are lots of poems out there that fit these parameters. i hope u like them!
heart by dorianne laux
there is a gold light in certain old paintings by donald justice
the shampoo by elizabeth bishop
we have not long to love by tennessee williams
the leaving by brigit pegeen kelly
winter love by linda gregg
your night is of lilac by mahmoud darwish
my mother’s music by emilie buchwald
this morning by jay wright
effort at speech between two people by muriel rukeyser
in the museum of lost objects by rebecca lindenberg
sometimes, when the light by lisel mueller
a girl ago by lucie brock-broido
a song on the end of the world by czesław miłosz
dead butterfly by ellen bass
the spinner by paul valéry
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curator-on-ao3 · 7 months
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For the directors cut thing: I would absolutely love to hear you talk about "Facets of Belonging". I love this story soo much and I read it like a million times because it makes me so happy and warms my heart. It kind of became my head canon for pikeuna ❤️
Hello, hi, I love you! I’m extremely honored by you rereading that story, @azalealunalight, and, hoo-boy, am I happy to talk about it. ❤️
This is going to start a little down but get better.
Facets of Belonging was actually my second pass at trying to unpack Among the Lotus Eaters, an absolute garbage pile of an episode with shipper glasses off and even worse with shipper glasses on. My first try, a one-shot called The Curse of Memory, I very much wrote with my head as an attempt to make sense of at least some aspects of the garbage pile. That story got interesting comments along the lines of, “This writing is good, but I don’t like seeing Pikeuna like this.” And I didn’t either. I had tried for canon-consistency and made myself — and my characters — unhappy.
So fuck that.
Fuck that on the bathroom floor, actually.
So I wrote Facets of Belonging from my heart as a way to let love breathe the way I think it should — freely, honestly, with two people trying their best because they owe that to each other. And I had an absolute blast writing repressed Chris, Una who would have made a pass at him years earlier if she had believed he had any game whatsoever, and both of them not understanding why Batel dumped Chris (I wanted everyone to be somewhat valid there and I hope I succeeded).
It was extra fun to include all the “they were already married, your honor” details like Chris using the secret knock on Una’s door for their shared fresher, Una flawlessly reading Chris’ body language, and Chris and Una having chosen the bathroom rug together years earlier. (The first part of the story goes on and on about how comfortable and fluffy and thick the rug is because I know me and, if the story hadn’t done that, I would have spent the later parts of the story wincing as they made love on that same rug. But it’s okay because the rug is comfortable! and fluffy! and thick!)
In terms of the technical stuff, I enjoyed the shifting third person limited point of view. Having Chris and Una mentally vibing but him more brave while she’s always a step ahead and more calm as he worries — that felt right. Part of Una being a step ahead, for me, is how her consistent adjective for Chris is “exquisite,” while he thinks she’s “beyond beautiful, beyond gorgeous. Something else. Something new.” because he hasn’t gotten to “exquisite” yet … but he will.
In terms of other things that happen after the story ends — if bathroom plumbing on the Enterprise works in any way similar to bathroom plumbing in multi-family homes today, you’d better believe other crewmembers on their same plumbing line heard Una’s ecstatic screaming in the middle of the night. I like to believe Spock is among those crewmembers. Vulcan hearing and all. Gonna be quite a morning on the bridge, amirite?
Oh, and I feel like when Chris lets himself look at Una and actually consider shifting their friendship to romance, the primal attraction he feels truly put the “id” in “idiots in love,” if you will. (And him being like “whaaaa?” she called him “sweetie” was great fun.)
For me, Facets of Belonging is a Marie Kondo story — it sparked joy to write, cleaning out the mess from before. I’m absolutely pleased and honored and delighted that the story makes you happy, too, and that you asked about it. Thank you, thank you, thank you, @azalealunalight, from the bottom of my heart … and the fluffiness of Chris and Una’s bathroom rug. ❤️
Want more information about a fic I wrote? Send me an ask.
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cieloclercs · 8 months
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trose!!! congratulations on your milestone! 1k is definitely a big number!! you so so deserve it 🫶🏻 your blog and content are just >>>>>> (chef's kiss). here to many followers to come 🥂
may I request for
lover, you should’ve come over with f1 and my gender preference is male please!
so first thing first I'm so hard on myself. I myself am someone who has big ambition and a goal oriented person. all of that resulting me giving myself a big pressure and always blaming myself if things doesn't go my way. I'm the "mom friend" and always ready to stand up for people. a blunt person, if I don't like someone, I just show it nonchalantly. I am the type of person that is sensitive about my surrounding. its easy for people to get intimidated by me.
its fairly easy for me to spot and tell what is one's feeling. but on the other side, I really don't care much about people that I am not close to. let's say I dislike a person, I openly show how irritated they made me feel and despite knowingly I pissed them off, I couldn't care less! however, when they are people that I loved and cared for? I openly show how much I care for them.
I talked about me ready to stand up for people, now when it comes to that no matter if I am close to them or not but if I know they have been wronged, I wouldn't think twice to speak up. it's funny and ironic because my friends point out that I have my type which is "a man with protector vibes"
ohh I loveee classical music and I am on my way into becoming an engineer! in term of style I think I prefer more on the classy and chic style. my friends also said that I exude luxury!
that was so much fun! thank you so much for letting me describing myself into details haha! forgive me for the long ask. I feel like now you know me better than some people in my life. once again congratulations!!! so so soooo happy for your 1k ♡
i ship you with max verstappen!
— i think one of max’s favourite things about you is how many similarities you share. for example, you’re both extremely ambitious, goal-driven people, and i feel like you’d both spur each other on to be better and keep going even when things get tough ! similarly, i think you both put a lot of (maybe unnecessary pressure on yourselves), which is ironic because in a relationship i can definitely picture max being the comforting type who reminds you that you don’t have to be perfect all the time (even though that’s what he expects of himself) and vice versa ! either way, even though you’re both so similar (or maybe even because of it) you both know exactly how to make the other feel better when things don’t go your way. i can imagine max would get sooo passionate when you blame yourself for things because he can’t understand why you would ever think that of yourself ?? like as far as he’s concerned you’re perfect and can do no wrong and he just wants you to see yourself the way he does 🥹
— of course, max is the king of being blunt. you guys would be the most iconic duo ever just because when you don’t like someone, max tends not to like that person either, and it SHOWS just from the looks on your faces whenever that person so much as speaks 😭 the fans would definitely pick up on that and make some kind of meme out of it: you’re the judgy couple of f1 frrr 😭 but especially if this person says or does anything to you, max is coming out with the full death glare scaring the poor guy off (also applies to jealous max 👀) neither of you can ever hide when you don’t like a person from anyone because it shows so clearly on both your faces (not that you’d care that it shows; if anything, you’re both trying to make it as obvious as possible) 😭
— but on the other hand, with people you care about (especially each other) you’re the most affectionate people ever. the entire grid gets sick of constantly seeing you two together honestly 😭 whenever you’re around each other you have these huge lovesick grins on your faces, and even though it’s pretty cute, it can also be pretty sickening 😭 (cue lando complaining every single time he sees you two together: max telling him to not be salty just because he doesn’t have a girlfriend 😏) the grid definitely teases the shit out of max, just because they’re so used to seeing him as this blunt, straightforward, sometimes unemotional character, but whenever he’s around you, he turns into the softest boyfriend on earth 🥹 a classic case of ‘i hate everyone except you’ with max verstappen ☺️
— omggg i’ll keep this brief because this is getting long, but max and an engineer!s/o is literally perfection !! i think it’s because max is so attached to his job that he unwittingly gravitates towards people close to it 😭 aka you (if your branch of engineering is down the f1 route ofc 👀) ALSO!! there’s something about max with an s/o who is so much more glamorous than him that just makes complete sense to me 😭 like whatever your opinion on kelly piquet is, there’s no doubting the woman’s got style the likes of which max just can’t compete with 😭 i’m getting very much the same vibes from this. but it’s cute because max is just so in awe of you whenever you two go out. like, he’d even start making an effort to dress in something other than his red bull stuff so he doesn’t look out of place with you — and if you ask really nicely, he might even let you dress him 🥹
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askaniritual · 6 months
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So totally random, and okay if you don’t think of this character in this way, but do you think it’s at all a part of karkat’s character that he tends to like people more than they like him? Maybe this is just a like hobbled together reading of his character since I haven’t read all of homestuck, but it seems to be a thing in terms of the triangle between him and Dave and Terezi, But also it’s just post-scratch (and maybe a little before it) I feel like sollux’s primary relationships became feferi and Arcadia, and I don’t think their relationship gets really revisited. I know you mentioned before that like oh karkat is kinda obsessed with sollux, but like if they were to have drifted apart what do you think karkat and solluxs feelings towards each other would be in that scenario and do you think they blame themselves or other people from maybe getting the way of their relationship/friendship(?).
Also I think you’d like the song internet baby (interlude) by pinkpantheress it gives me vibes that it’s like about gamzee but idk if the pov character is like sollux or karkat or someone else.
i loooooveee when you guys tee me up to riff on character dynamics i've just made up in my head lol its very fun for me
but fr i mean (hopefully) you know this but i've only read hs act 5 so anything i'm saying about any character ever is me talking about what i remember of act 5, context ive picked up from fandom and the hsmtw podcast, and stuff i read in fanfiction. and as far as fanfiction goes i tend to read non-sgrub alternia aus pretty exclusively and that is like. the dynamic that i am primarily interested in. so yk take anything im saying abt any character in comic canon w a hymalayan salt lamp's worth of salt
anywayyyyy all that being said i actually kind of see it the other way around? in that karkat's self-loathing really gets in the way of him understanding the extent to which people care about him. i think he's somebody who gets so wrapped up in trying to justify other people's affection for him that it causes people to get fed up and move on waiting for him to decide if he thinks he deserves to be loved
i do not recall saying i think karkat is obsessed w sollux? altho totally possible i did lmfao. i agree canon doesn't leave much room for them to be together (and i dont think that was ever like. an intended reading of act 5 to be perfectly honest lol) and to me i see it as like i think it's very easy for them to drift apart given their deep-seated insecurities. karkat definitely always blames himself for everything even when its not deserved or productive tho and i think if sollux is angry he's fine to let that happen to avoid having a difficult conversation
like i know i say this all the time but for me it all comes back to that sollux is like. societally and narratively an object and so everything he does is steeped in resentment for the fact that it's completely irrelevant vs his utility as a straight up battery. and karkat is kind of in the opposite position where societally he is considered completely useless and marked for death so he feels this overwhelming urge to make himself useful in some sense to try and prove that he has any worth at all. and i think this opposing dichotomy is interesting in that it creates two people who have on the surface similar anxieties that manifest in functionally opposite directions and then on top of all that they r still besties and can't fully extricate themselves from each other even though they r continually talking past each other
and thanks for the song rec! very fun song i could see it being from gamzee's perspective abt karkat for sure lol
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alexiethymia · 2 years
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retsuko and haida in S4
Late to the party, but I cannot believe I only ended up watching Aggretsuko now. Every beat relates so hard. Especially the whole, ‘twenty-five, single, and hopelessly looking for a meaning in life’. 
In terms of relationship development, I do like how it subverts common tropes. At the end of Season 1, and with how these things usually goes, with the framing, you’d think Retsuko would really agree to date Haida, but I like the route they went with instead. 
With how this show is, it can really go either way, with the both of them ending up together or not and just staying good friends instead. I think I’d be satisfied either way. But despite both of their imperfections, i think they can make it work. 
At its core, its about whether or not a relationship between a person who’s long in love with another, and one who’s just beginning to explore their feelings, can work. This is an interesting dynamic to me, because in stories like these, it’s usually the girl who’s hopelessly in love, or they fall in love before they start dating. Their vibes really are similar with Narumi and Hirotaka from Wotakoi.
Although Haida and the people around him may hammer about how he doesn’t know Retsuko and thus his intense love for her makes no sense, as he says, it was the little things that built up and he actually does know her, even more than he, others, or Retsuko expects. 
He knows her imperfections, her strength, how she shines, and how she can be harsh. It makes sense to me how he could fall in love with her and so intensely at that because of how interesting she is, and also despite that he knows she’s not ‘just a good girl’, how she tries to be one despite how hard it must be for her. He admires her for trying, especially when he himself gave up a long time ago, and in that same vein wants to support her. 
These five years, he’s wanted to support her, putting her wants first, and finally when asked what he wants, he just gives words to his desire all this time - to be the place she belongs or feels safe with. In other words, despite the length of his feelings and what he’s done, never has he felt entitled to Retsuko’s feelings, though of course, it’s quite human to feel depressed about unrequited love. On the contrary, his problem is in the opposite end of the scale in that with how much he puts himself down, he ended up putting her on a pedestal. 
I appreciate Season 4 despite the plot line and how Haida indulged his self-destructive behaviors because through it, we get to see more of Retsuko’s care towards Haida, when in the past the focus was more on Haida towards Retsuko. Season 4 had a role reversal from Season 3, and despite what Retsuko says, despite that she may not exactly be in love with Haida yet, I think she has more feelings for him than she is aware of.
This is shown in part with how she does imagine a concrete future of them getting married (albeit in a dream), how she got jealous about Tsunoda (when she didn’t about Inui before), and her being flustered and pleased about retsukol0ve. I think it actually started at the end of Season 3 where it was shown that thinking about Haida has now helped her feel calm.
The times they spent together with him teaching her bass and eating out together, as well as countless other little dates, show that they do genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Her other relationships were fine with mundane things like that but ended up ending when they faced major crises. I guess what I like about the development of their relationship is despite the different crises they face, they try their hardest anyway to make it work. Haida doing his damnedest to be there for her at her lowest point in a way that spoke to her personally and deeply because he recognized music was her way of letting out all the things she kept bottled up inside. Her prodding and ultimately sabotaging Haida at his darkest point so he doesn’t end up fully self-destructing shows that she reciprocates Haida’s wish in that she wants to be a safe place for him that same way he wanted to be one for her.
I also appreciate how Haida isn’t presented as some last resort for Retsuko in that she thinks that she can only get married or be in a relationship with a person who’s already in love with her. Because she rejected Tadano because their goals aren’t aligned and again her actions in Season 4 do show a genuine desire to want to progress further with Haida. And yet, it’s still also sweet that Haida does have dreams of marrying her as well, even if she doesn’t know it. 
It could still not work out. As Season 2 pointed out, sometimes love isn’t enough, and Retsuko, arguably may or may not be at that stage yet. Their insecurities could still damage the relationship and they end up realizing they’re better off as friends. That would be realistic. Tadano said it himself. They wouldn’t be soul mates because of some app, but rather it would be their choices that would determine whether they can make it work or not. Haida worked hard and reached out time and again, even after being rejected, and it paid off with Retsuko opening up. Retsuko kept on reaching out, time and again, even after Haida shut himself in and became hurtful. Both of them have said pretty hurtful things to each other actually, and neither of them are entitled to each other’s feelings, and yet as long as they keep on working on their issues, there’s always hope they can be truly happy with each other. 
Despite that whole mess in Season 4, at the end it shows that Haida still loves her very much, while Retsuko, contrary to her past relationships and the roadblocks faced before, still very much wants to try with a person who’s shown time and again that he accepts even her darkest parts. They’re definitely not at the same point yet. Haida is at the point where he seriously thinks about marrying her, while Retsuko’s feelings may just be beginning to bud, but contrary to the whole unrequited love plots I’ve experienced, it’s refreshing for me to see how the middle option plays out - that while it may be unrequited love now, through getting to know each other and each other’s faults and insecurities, the desire of wanting to support each other and love can grow. 
tldr: Retsuko and Haida have to give the both of themselves more credit, and even when they make mistakes, their relationship remains a hopeful one for me. 
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Continuing from my last post about science fictional “hyperspaces” (wow, I think that might be the most viral original post I ever wrote; it’s amazing what being reblogged by @argumate can do for a post!):
As a science fiction writer, these are the features I find attractive about “hyperspace” that incline me to favor it over other explanations for “fast” interstellar communication and travel:
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Hyperspace lets space still feel big. Wormholes/portals and instantaneous “jump drives” tend to make space feel small (though wormholes lend themselves nicely to space outside the wormhole network feeling big and to a feeling of sharp discontinuity between “known” or “civilized” space within the network and “unknown” or “wild” space where the network doesn’t reach). Start-anywhere go-anywhere jump drives without serious limitations have the additional issue that they’re more-or-less equivalent to teleporters, so they create the ultimate MAD setting where defending multiple fixed locations from a peer adversary is very difficult, and they minimize the strategic advantages of sustainable stationary banditry over unsustainable hyper-exploitive mobile banditry, and since the likely implications of that are very depressing I prefer to avoid it (except maybe if I was deliberately setting out to write a dystopia or explore the idea).
I want space to feel big in my writing, to give the reader some feeling of the vastness, grandeur, and inhuman scale of the universe. For my main science fiction setting, I think I’ll give hyperspace travel an effective “speed” of something like 5-10 c in Sol’s local neighborhood. That way interstellar journeys are more manageable than they’d be with journeys through our space, but journeys to other inhabited solar systems usually take at least a year or two (Sol to Alpha Centauri may be less than a year in hyperspace, but add in travel time to and from the Sol and Alpha Centauri hyper-limits, which is probably going to be at least a couple of months for each leg, and it’s probably about a year).
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Hyperspace feels more like the sort of thing that might plausibly be useable to almost hairless apes with near-future-ish technology. With warp drives and wormholes and jump drives and so on I get the niggling feeling that’s the sort of thing you should probably have to be on approximately the level of an Orion’s Arm Archialect to do. Real theoretical warp drive and wormhole proposals tend to involve stuff like exotic forms of matter and energy and very large amounts of energy. Hyperspace would be a natural phenomenon, so it’s easier to explain it in terms of people exploiting natural phenomena we just don’t know about now, no weirder than being able to travel faster than rowing would allow by building a sail to catch the wind.
You can say that there are some rare atoms that naturally have a structure that extends into hyperspace. With human senses and 2020s technology they just look like ordinary atoms of silicon, iron, etc., but with the right kind of machinery you can detect them, sift them out of the surrounding 3D atoms, and concentrate them. Once you’ve got enough of them, you can make them the core of a pair of transmitters that you can use to send and receive radio messages through hyperspace. With more energy, you can “push” on these structures and “push” those atoms into hyperspace, and then if those atoms are part of a larger solid object the rest of the object and anything touching it gets dragged along with them (with a certain size limit, perhaps related to mass being “pushed” and energy used, so you don’t have to worry about accidentally sending the whole Earth into hyperspace the first time you try this - that’d be one heck of an oops; maybe a later disproven small theoretical possibility of that happening would go down into the history books along with “before they exploded Trinity they were worried it might ignite the atmosphere”); thus you can send a whole ship into hyperspace instead of just information. When you want to leave hyperspace you can reverse the operation and “push” the ship back into our space.
That gives you a nice highly valuable “handwavium” that can be a hook for various plot and worldbuilding points, e.g. there’s not much obvious economic reason to colonize Mars IRL except maybe tourism (anything you could mine there you get more easily from near-Earth asteroids, and it’s too inhospitable to make much sense as a settler colony), but maybe there’s a huge mother lode of these hyperspace-touching atoms somewhere on Mars. These hyperspace-touching atoms would be especially valuable if the process of using them for communication or in hyperdrives “strained” these structures and at some predictable rate caused some of them to “snap,” causing the atoms to become ordinary 3D atoms of silicon or iron or uranium or whatever. Then there’d be a continuous need for (relatively) large amounts of new ones even in a steady-state economy; you couldn’t just keep recycling them and recycling them and just do a little mining to make up for recycling inefficiencies. This would also be an interesting limit on use of hyperspace; using hyperspace radio or doing a hyperjump involves destroying a small amount of a precious resource, so people wouldn’t want to do it frivolously. This might augment that sphere analogy limitation on hyperspace communication I talked about in my other post; even if a hyperspace radio message from Saturn to Earth got there a little ahead of a radio message through our space, you’d probably send a radio message through our space for anything that isn’t time-critical, because the message arriving ten minutes sooner usually just isn’t worth the predictable cost in “snapped” hyperspace-touching atoms.
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Hyperspace would be an environment, so you can do interesting things with it.
Since hyperspace offers a short-cut because it’s more compact than our space, I like to pull on the idea that it’s like our space but in a more compact state, so it’s similar to what our space looked like when the universe was younger and smaller. Going to hyperspace might be a little like time travelling back to a few tens or hundreds of millions of years after the Big Bang, before the first stars formed. The environment of hyperspace might be a little like the inside of a giant molecular cloud, but “warmer” and extremely impoverished in heavy elements. The gas density might be a few thousand to a few billion atoms per cubic centimeter (by comparison, sea level air is about 10^19 molecules per cubic centimeter while the interstellar medium averages around 1 atom per cubic centimeter). The gasses and plasmas in hyperspace would be almost pure hydrogen and helium. The cosmic microwave background temperature in hyperspace might be around 50 K; that’s warm in comparison to what it is in our space (around 3 K), and warm enough to probably be a big part of the reason hyperspace has no stars (present day star-forming giant molecular cloud regions have gas temperatures around 10-20 K), but by human standards it’s deeply cold; it’s upper atmosphere of Uranus temperature. With no stars, I’d guess hyperspace would be a place of more-or-less total darkness outside the range of any lights humans passing through might bring with them.
Alternately, if I want hyperspace to have a murky and mysterious quality and be a place where visibility isn’t good and sensors don’t work well (so a vibe a bit like B5 hyperspace), I could say the Big Bang nucleosynthesis era lasted longer in hyperspace and there produced a substantial amount of heavy elements, some of which then condensed into dust (probably more like smoke if it’s similar to interstellar dust in our space - nanometer to micrometer particles). This dust would probably be pretty insubstantial on human scale distances (again, if it’s like the interstellar medium matter in hyperspace would be about 99% mostly hydrogen and helium gas and plasma and 1% dust, and even a relatively “dense” hyperspace with billions of atoms per cm^3 would have less than a billionth the gas density of sea level air), but over AUs it would scatter light and that effect might add up. This would make hyperspace similar to a dark nebula.
If I want to take the “hyperspace is a scary place” further, I could add sources of energy that might further confuse sensors and add dangerous radiation and other dangers to the mix. Maybe hyperspace has a few large black holes or something, with energetic accretion disks and polar jets fed by all that relatively dense gas and adding turbulence to it. Or maybe spacetime in hyperspace is “lumpier” than spacetime in our space and hyperspace has weird “rivers” formed by something related to whatever force drives cosmic expansion and some of the gas/plasma gets caught in that and accelerated to large fractions of the speed of light and then slams into the low-velocity material in the “still” parts in places, creating lots of turbulence and various other interesting and scary things (powerful magnetic fields, radiation, locally intense heat, maybe some of these collision zones are even giant naturally occurring inertial confinement fusion reactors; maybe that’s where the heavy elements in the dust come from). Maybe hyperspace has a lot of cosmic strings; it makes a certain intuitive sense that, hyperspace being more compact than our space, its cosmic eggshell might be densely veined with cracks.
This gets into another interesting aspect; hyperspace might have something equivalent to terrain; hyperspace travel may be easier in some directions than others. And there’s lots of worldbuilding and plot hooks you could hang from that idea.
For example, let’s look at that idea of hyperspace having “rivers” formed of exotic spacetime structures and filled with gas/plasma streams moving at high fractions of the speed of light. If the edge of these “rivers” has a gradual enough velocity gradient and the plasma in the “rivers” is ionized, with enough skill a spacecraft pilot might be able to catch that “current” with a magsail and ride it, then when they’d gotten about as far as they needed to go they could leave the “river” and do magsail braking against low-velocity plasma in the “still” areas. Just gotta be careful to stay well away from the dangerous collision zones! This might be a huge part of the short-cut offered by hyperspace travel! It could be that distances across hyperspace are only modestly shorter than distances across our space (say, Alpha Centauri is 1 light year away in hyperspace), but the really big savings is you can catch one of these hyperspace “currents” and use it to get up to large fractions of c without expending any fuel. A set-up like that does raise some awkward questions about conservation of energy, but I could say something like “the hyperspace ‘rivers’ are areas where dark energy is being converted into kinetic energy, slightly slowing down the expansion of the universe in the process.” It’s not like we know much about how dark energy works, or even what it is, so for all we know that’s a thing that might happen under certain conditions.
Those collision zones would generate substantial radiation, including light, so unlike a calm hyperspace a turbulent hyperspace with energetic “currents” would probably have light. Don’t know how bright it would be; all that dust (made of heavy elements built up over the eons by inertial confinement fusion in collision zones, I like that idea!) would absorb a lot of light over cosmic distances, and stars are pretty bright but most of our space is pretty dark.
That set-up would make hyperspace travel kind of like sailing; there would be “currents” or “winds” you want to catch, and travel might be a lot faster along directions where the currents are favorable. Travel times in hyperspace might only loosely correlate with distance; Alpha Centauri might take longer to reach than Zeta Reticuli. There would also be hazards you’d need to avoid, e.g. the collision zones.
Maybe part of the explanation for the Fermi Paradox might be that Earth is in the middle of a big “still” part of hyperspace; few ships went here because we’re in the middle of a cosmic doldrums that takes years to crawl across.
With a set-up like this, hyperspace may have “weather” that influences interstellar commerce, and “climate change” on historical timescales that influences the trajectories of interstellar societies. Ages when hyperspace is particularly turbulent might cause Dark Ages as hyperspace travel becomes very dangerous. Ages when hyperspace becomes unusually calm might also cause Dark Ages as there are no fast hyperspace “currents” to ride and hyperspace travel becomes relatively slow. In one age hyperspace “currents” may be arranged such that a world is isolated; a few thousand years later the hyperspace “currents” might have shifted and that previously isolated world might be much more accessible and back in the mainstream of interstellar civilization.
One wrinkle: a turbulent, energetic, opaque hyperspace such as this probably wouldn’t be good for sending radio signals across. Maybe the universe actually has multiple “basement” levels, hyperspace is just the one that’s “closest” to our “living room” level and the only one that’s “close” enough that ships can travel to and from it, but there’s a clearer layer that’s “farther away” but still “close” enough that you can send radio signals through it, and that “deeper” clear layer is the one used for interstellar communication. Bonus idea I like: the deep clear layer is even more compact than hyperspace (by orders of magnitude) so it’s overall a much better short-cut in every way except being “too far away” to send ships through it, so finding a way to send ships through it is a huge potential breakthrough that tantalizes generations of scientists and engineers who so far have not managed to figure out a way to do it.
Really, on that note, I like the idea that the universe is analogous to an onion with many “layers,” and hyperspace and the deep clear layer are just the layers that are most easily accessible from our space. There are a lot of “basements” below the deep clear layer, and generally as you get farther “down” the “basements” get smaller, denser, and hotter; going “down” is a little like time travelling to eras closer and closer to the Big Bang (though this isn’t a completely reliable rule - the deep clear layer is smaller than hyperspace and perhaps warmer, but seems to be a lot emptier; maybe most of its matter has been sucked into black holes?). Maybe the whole thing is a bit timey wimey wibbly wobbly and if you go “down” far enough you eventually hit what 2020s science knows as the moment of the Big Bang. As well as “basements” there are also “attics,” but they’re less accessible because going “up” is harder than going “down.” If going “down” into the basements is a little like time travelling to the early universe, going “up” into the attics is a little like time travelling to the deep future, to places that look kind of like what our space may look like in the deep future black hole era (assuming the Big Rip doesn’t destroy our universe before that deep future proton decay story has time to play out). The “attics” are vast, empty, and deeply cold; cosmic microwave background temperatures a tiny fraction of a degree above absolute zero and precious little else to generate energy, maybe one atom in every cubic kilometer of space. They probably expanded too quickly for stars to ever form there. The total number of layers might be large; maybe hundreds or thousands, maybe billions, maybe a number so big it would need to be expressed in scientific notation. I like this idea because it makes hyperspace feel less implausibly convenient for humans; we’re just taking advantage of a particularly convenient part of a big macrostructure that’s mostly inaccessible to us.
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Hyperspace is a natural phenomenon, so it probably isn’t going to be neatly quarantined to just being a thing humans can use for communication and travel. Hyperspace-related phenomena are going to show up in nature, and this offers a neat explanation for any exotic soft SF-ish natural phenomena you may be interested in incorporating into your setting.
Hyperspace (and other “basements” of our universe) also gives you a built-in parsimonious explanation for any other bits of soft SF technology your setting might feature. Want your setting to have e.g. Star Trek style forcefields? You can say they work through interaction with one of the “basement” layers of the universe.
On that note, I have an idea for a more hard SF version of the Babylon 5 “going beyond the Rim” thing or Stargate ascension, based on the “onion universe” concept I described above, which might serve as a partial explanation for the Fermi Paradox. Maybe some “layers” of the “onion” are “superhabitable” to advanced machine intelligences (though not to primitive flesh and blood beings like us). You know the aestivation hypothesis? If advanced machine intelligences could move to an “attic” they wouldn’t have to wait billions of years for our space to cool down; the cosmic microwave background temperatures in many of the “attics” would already be some tiny fraction of a degree above absolute zero. Maybe they could move to a nice big cold “attic” and live there and “mine” a nice compact “basement” that is rich in matter and energy, getting the best of both worlds. Most of these “attics” and “basements” would be completely inaccessible to humans, but beings with better technology and more resources might be able to access many more of them (or maybe even get beyond the “onion” and search the entire multiverse for universes with conditions more to their liking). So the universe’s most powerful and most enduring civilizations might usually leave our space and move to another “layer” or universe that has conditions more ideal for them, and thus be mostly undetectable to us.
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See: the concept of hyperspace is loaded with potential plot and worldbuilding hooks if you use a little imagination, and I like that!
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kaaytea · 3 years
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hello! i love your blog so much and it brings me so much comfort..ive been having a really rough go at it the last few months and i was wondering if you could write how the daiya boys would react to learning their so deals with mental health problems? or what theyd be like helping them during a breakdown or something? thank you so much ♡♡♡
Daiya boys helping an s/o during a break down
A/n: Hello dear! I can't tell you how happy it makes me knowing you find comfort from this blog (that was my main goal when I started it!) I'm sorry to hear you've been having a rough time, I'm sending a bunch of love, hugs, and good vibes your way! I hope these little hcs bring you some comfort, thank you for requesting and enjoy ♥️
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Sawamura -> He's a bit familiar with these situations from his yips phase. Very quiet when comforting you, mostly out of fear that if he were his usual loud self it'd cause more harm than good. Handles you very gently and coaxes you into doing some breathing exercises with him to calm you down a bit. Afterwards he'll do whatever would make you most comfortable. Run you a bath? He's on it! Need some water? He's already in the kitchen! Just want to snuggle up with him? His arms are open and awaiting your hugs!
Furuya -> Very lost and worried the first time he sees you in this state. Unsure of what to do so he just follows his gut in that moment. Sits down besides you and rubs your back to let you know he's there, if you want him to hold you his arms are open in an instant. Afterwards he'd ask you if there were specific things you'd want him to do in the event that this happens again. Furuya wouldn't want to accidentally overstep your boundaries and make you feel worse so he compiles a little list of things you said would comfort you so he's prepared for next time.
Haruichi -> Haruichi would whisper encouraging words to you. He speaks in a very light, airy tone in hopes of calming you down a bit. If you're comfortable with it he pulls you to sit on his lap so you can hold on to each other; sometimes he even quietly hums songs his mom used to sing for him. Would rock you back and forth in his arms just praying that you know you're safe with him. Won't force you to talk but is always happy when you do so the both of you can work on finding healthy ways to diminish the frequency of your break downs.
Kanemaru -> Please he's sO worried. Kanemaru hates seeing you upset or in pain so he's doing anything to make you comfortable. Firmly Holds you to his chest and presses kisses to the side of your head. Quite literally won't leave your side the rest of the day.
Toujou -> Toujou does his best to make sure you're not feeling alone; he's wants you to know that he is present in the moment and is there to help in any way you need. He always finds a way to coax you into a conversation to distract you from the source of all your stress. If you don't want to talk he usually puts on some sort of background noise like rain water or a playlist of softer songs you enjoy.
Kuramochi -> Can tell right away when something is wrong and is on top of things the second he sees you start to tip over the edge. Mochi wouldn't want to overcrowd you and make you feel congested so he's sits across from you and draws little shapes on the palms of your hands. He tends to talk you through everything, reassuring you that you're safe and that he's here for you.
Miyuki -> So so so so gentle!! Yes he's normally emotionally detached and makes fun of you half the time, but if your hurting (whether it be mentally of physically) he won't leave your side until he's certain you're ok. Big believer in breathing techniques so he's always trying to get you to match your breathing with his. If you're ok with physical contact he usually pulls you into his side and let's you rest your head on his shoulder. Always listens to you if you want to talk about what's been getting you so worked up.
Kawakami -> Understands how torturous it seems when your own mind and body are against you. Has the gentlest smile on his face when he notices what's wrong. Of course it pains him to see you like this but it's not a feeling he focuses on. Instead, he puts all his energy into comforting you and your well-being. Would definitely make you both some tea and stick near you till you start to recover a bit. He's also really into aromatherapy (it's a method that works for him) so he has a lavender infused blanket ready if you want it. Very in touch with what comforts you. If you want him to talk to you so you have something to focus on, he will! If you need some form of physical comfort he's got a cozy spot on the couch perfect for snuggles!
Ryousuke -> Very calm and refuses to baby you (i.e. he's not gonna fluff it up and be all "Oh my poor baby! What's wrong, sweetheart?"🥺🥺) Lets you use his lap as a pillow and will run his finger through/over your hair. Not much for whispering sweet nothings but he will look you in the face and say something along the lines of: "I'm right here, ok? Just concentrate on calming down a bit." He's a wonderful listener if you ever want to talk about what's been going on, there's not a smidge of judgement on his end.
Tetsuya -> He's still very stoic on the outside but there's a noticable softness in his eyes. Does the thing where he runs his hands up and down your arms. Tetsu would most likely want to discuss everything. He might try to give you advice or little reminders to take time for yourself. He doesn't want you to think your facing everything alone, he wants you to feel comfortable sharing things with him. Would definitely be one of the rare times he gets a smidge sappy to let you know he loves you.
Jun -> Such a sweetheart! A bit hesitant the first time he sees you breaking down but immediately snaps into action. Scoops you up and brings you somewhere comfortable. Keeps telling you that you're ok and that nothing will hurt you. Presses a bunch of kisses to the top of your head and cheeks.
Chris -> Chris is naturally just a soft-spoken person so his demeanor doesn't change at all. His voice when he whispers is incredibly comforting to listen to; it's low and rumbly, man just exudes warmth. He won't belittle your stress or fears at all, he actively listens to you in hopes of finding some way to help. Gives really great hugs so if you're in need of affection you've literally won the jackpot with him.
Sanada -> Is somehow, even in this situation, able to keep the atmosphere generally calm. Would whisper sweet, reassuring words to you the entire time. Mans just wants you to feel valid, safe, and loved when with him. Another person who would let you sit on his lap or curl up to him on your own terms. Would offer you one of his hoodies if you wanted something you're able to curl up in. Sanada always tries to get you to smile or laugh once you've calmed down to lighten your mood a bit.
Raichi -> Similar to Furuya where he wouldn't really know what to do. Might be a bit shaken up because he hates not knowing how to help you. If you ask him for something (like some water or a hug) boy is ZOOMING to fullfil your request. Because he's not entirely sure what to do he just gently brings your hands up to cup his face and softly says: "(y/n)-chan, please don't be upset!" Might not be the most effective tactic but it's the first thing that popped into his mind. Would definitely offer to get you a snack after the whole ordeal. He might be a tiny bit clingy afterwards because he felt so useless :(
Mei -> Generally a childish person but Mei takes this very seriously; babes is not messing around when it comes to your health. Goes by your requests and will do anything you ask of him, not a single complaint leaves his mouth. You'll usually end up lying on his chest while he mindlessly traces shapes on your back. In this position you can listen to his heart beat which is surprisingly very soothing and steady. He tends to whisper about how much he loves you or about how important and special you are.
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yesokaythatsfine69 · 3 years
Text
The Beach (Levi Ackerman x reader)
Description: During the beach scene in attack on titan. I changed this scene a bit because I felt it could be more light hearted and more fun after the cut. So be aware that it may not be that exact scene (in terms of what gets said) but roughly the same idea.
Characters: Y/n, Levi, Hange, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Sasha, Connie
Pov: third person
Warnings: none, this is pure fluff and just chill vibes.
A/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEVI ACKERMAN! Hello! As of right now I'll be focusing the next several pieces on AOT. This is the third and the final piece I'll be writing about Levi. Feel free to request any Levi Ackerman writings at any time though. Have a good read!
Word Count:
Song suggestion: This has nothing to do with this piece but I've been jamming to Judas by Lady Gaga so if ur not a nerd listen to it.
*none of the Gifs used are mine, full credit goes to the maker
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The dust that Scout's horses picked up enclosed around them, swallowing them up in a thick cloud of brown. The air was similarly thick around them.
Her hands were shaking, clutching the reigns of her horse, pulling them close to her chest. Y/n wasn't scared though. The things she'd experienced in the almost four years since she'd joined the scouts had changed what the concept of fear was for her. She felt tense- anxiety ridden. She felt like something was about to happen, and the way Eren spoke- it definitely was.
They passed a wall, and Eren's voice cut through the long silence. "I'm sure of it. This is the place where they turned the Eldians titan, which means just up there."
He beckoned them on, rushing his horse forward. Armin swallowed harshly, his eyes meeting y/n's for a beat. They shared a look, that displayed their mutual concerns before it broke.
Y/n had kept close to Armin, whose presence often calmed her. It was strange, but Armin never hid his emotions or disguised his fear (something her friends did so often.) And there was comfort in that. It made her feel less vulnerable.
Levi often teased her for that- but she knew he respected their friendship. Y/n looked to where he rode ahead of her. His hands were steady, expression focused. It unnerved her how he could be so calm.
She blinked away her focus, returning her gaze back to looking straight ahead. Eren led the group to what appeared to be a cliff, and when they reached the top...they saw.
The group seemed to all stop at once, realizing what they found. It was silent, except for the blowing of the waves before them. It was water- the ocean. They all stared, stunned.
Sasha and Connie had mutual expressions of open mouth wonder. Y/n just stared, aghast. Eren on the other hand looked unsurprised and almost bored.
One by one they slipped off the backs of their horses, most rolling up their pant legs and trodding into the water.
Y/n did a little dance in the water, laughing as Connie playfully splashed Sasha in the eyes. Sasha screamed in pain, "my eyes!" After she recovered, she splashed Connie back. Or tried to. At the last second Connie ducked and the salty sea spray hit y/n dead in the face instead.
"Sasha!" Her friend giggled sheepishly. Y/n tackled her into the water, the two becoming completely soaked. Connie chuckled at their antics, pointing his index finger at them with his right hand and keeping his left to his chest. The two girls shared a mischievous look which caused Connie's laughter to die out immediately.
"Take him down!" "Hiya!" Working in sync the two tackled him into the water. The three resurfaced and giggled at each other's soaked expressions. "It's so salty!" Jean was a few paces ahead of them and had just drank some of the water.
"Jean what the fuck. You really need to stop putting things into your mouth if you don't know what's in them." Y/n stood up, twisting her hair to relieve it of some water. Raising a brow, Jean leaned towards her. "Says the girl deep diving into it. Armin says there's nothing in here but salt anyway, and besides someone was bound to drink from here. I just saved them the extra hassle." Y/n flicked water at him. "How gallant of you."
Eren's monologue interrupted them then, they way he sounded close to tears, his voice creaking at the last sentence begged for their concentration. "Will we finally be free?" No one spoke, whatever light mood that existed now diminished.
"way to kill the mood Jaeger." Jean muttered, but he seemed just as solemn as Eren. "Don't worry, I'll lighten it up." Y/n shoved Jean down, and into the water. He landed with a surprised yelp and everyone turned, broken out of their private misery.
"Really y/l/n!" Jean spat, his cheeks dusted with blush. Y/n giggled, until she was cut off by Jean grabbing her and pulling her down into the water. "Shit!" She gasped out, landing in the water beside him.
"Are you serious! Jean, I just rang out my hair!" Jean opened his mouth to retort when sasha and Connie interrupted, shouting "Dog pile!" Jean and Y/n's eyes widened. "No!" "Wait-!" As Kenny once said, kaboom.
Now, all four of them were completely soaked, but none of them really cared. They bursted out laughing, each pointing at one another in amusement. The reflex seemed almost unnatural- it'd been so long since her last belly laugh. Connie, Sasha, and Jean felt similar and the tears they shed weren't just from their chuckles, but something deeper.
Y/n left the three to splash each other, waddling over to Armin, Mikasa, and Eren. Eren still looked off into the horizon but the tenseness in his shoulders seemed lighter. "What do you have there, Armin." She spoke softly to her friend, marveling at the shell he had gently lying in his palms. "Some sort of shell..." His gaze met hers. "I'm sure there have to be hundreds here." Y/n smiled.
"Did you think it'd be like this? Big, breezy, and beautiful?" Armin looked up, looking beyond Eren. "Maybe something close...I just never expected to actually see it...let alone feel it." They shared another look before they turned to Mikasa. She had gotten closer to Eren, but her gaze was in the water. She was kicking at it, her expression unreadable.
"hmmm." Y/n hummed, tapping her chin. She took off, running past Eren and to the left of him. "Hey! Y/l/n, don't go out too far!" Levi called after her. At the left edge, she stopped, bending down and searching fervently in the waters.
"There must be hundreds..."she mumbled to herself, brow furrowed in concentration. "Ah hah!" She straightened, a single white shell lying in the palm of her hand. She ran back, to armin, mikasa, and Eren. She skidded to a stop directly in front of Mikasa, who gave her an amused look.
Y/n dropped to a knee, sticking up her palm. "For my favorite Ackerman!" "Oi!" Levi grunted from behind her and Mikasa blushed. "Thank you, y/n." The young girl smiled, gently picking up the shell. "You are my favorite y/l/n." Y/n crossed her arms. "I'm the only y/l/n." Mikasa smiled a bit brighter.
Eren had turned towards them, snapping out of his gaze from the unusual commotion. He had watched the two interact and the way Mikasa had gently lifted the shell and just as gently cradled it caused the corner of his lips to upturn.
Y/n noticed. "I can find you one too, Eren. Although I'm afraid finding one as pretty as Armin's is impossible and thus out of the question." Eren softened and shook his head. "No, thank you, y/n." She stood up from her position, and was immediately wrapped in a quick hug from Mikasa.
"Oh! What's this?" Hanje lifted something reminiscent of a burnt rock from the water, gently rubbing her fingers over it. Y/n drew closer, allowing Hanje to explain all of the oddities she found. Y/n nodded along, only half understanding what her friend was ranting about.
Finally Hanje gasped with delight- cutting herself off. "there's more over here!" She pranced away from y/n, pausing several steps away and bending down to search for more.
Finally y/n turned to Levi, who had already been watching her. He seemed so out of place it was funny. His arms were crossed and he looked disinterested...but y/n knew that he was just uncomfortable. They watched each other, taking their differences in.
Really Levi couldn't believe how different two people could be. There y/n stood, a breeze sifting through her hair, her entire outfit completely soaked, and a stupid grin on her face. She was some brat- he'd admit it.
"You're going to get sick, y/n." She smiled, wading through the low tide to where he stood. "You'd love the chance to take care of me." "Tch, I deal with you enough as is." The two had shortened the distance between each other.
The wind ruffled his undercut. "It's a lot less scary than it looks." Y/n gently nudged him with her shoulder. "I'm not scared." Levi gave her a sharp look and anyone one else would've slinked away, but y/n wasn't anyone else- especially not to Levi.
Gently she took his hand in hers, squeezing it softly. He narrowed his eyes, the silver orbs twinkling against the sunset. He interlaced his fingers with her own though, his deep admiration for y/n often undermined his "tough guy" resolve.
Y/n smiled at him, "Okay old man are you going to roll up those pants or will I have to?" Levi sighed, grumbling under his breath as he bent down. "If I get sick from this-" she rolled her eyes. "Levi it's water. The thing you bathe in, clean with, drink. You will not get sick."
He pulled a sock off. "Tch, I once saw you find a piece of uneaten bread hidden behind books in the library, and watched you eat it without question. I don't believe anything you say about what's healthy and what's not, brat." Y/n helped him fold his socks neatly next to his shoes. "That was one time!" He paused. "And it's scarred into my memory."
Again, y/n rolled her eyes. However, the smile on her never even flinched. She grabbed Levi's hand and yanked him forward. He gasped, but y/n only sped up. "Oi, oi, oi, wait! You're going to fast, we'll-" They splashed into the water, splashing it up to their faces.
Levi's eyes were wide, and he seemed absolutely at a loss for what to do with himself. Finally he met her gaze, and saw how she looked at him. Levi felt his cheeks flush. "Tch, fine it's not as bad as I thought." He turned to leave, but she yanked him back to her.
"hey, hey, hey mateo, mateo." She pulled him so that his side was resting against her, he turned back to y/n. "Stay awhile." She said gently. Her smile had changed now, and Levi noticed. His shoulders relaxed. He realized now why this was so important to her. This could be the last chance they had.
Then she kicked water at him.
"Y/n!" She laughed and backed deeper into the water. "You may be humanity's greatest titan fighter..." She began to move her arms around wildly. "But I am humanity's greatest Levi Ackerman fighter." Levi sighed, unamused. "You got water on my pants!" He moved towards her.
"The target approaches, seemingly irritated." She backed away. "Tch, Seemingly?" Levi's hand balled into fists. "He's going deeper into enemy territory, what will y/n do?" "Y/n should run." Levi got closer.
He jumped at her, and she tackled him, the two landing into the water. Once again y/n became instantly soaked, and Levi was now in the same boat, wet completely from head to toe. "It is salty!" Levi gasped out, his arms still wrapped around y/n. "Did you think we were all lying before?" Y/n laughed, watching as Levi struggled to get salty water from his eyes.
He pulled his fist from his eye, finally looking at y/n. She was soaked, probably more than he was, but she was as radiant as could be, her eyes shining, her smile wide, and her hair blowing softly. He stared at her several seconds, lost in how beautiful she was. Sometimes he had a difficult time believing that someone like her could ever be interested in someone like him. "I love you." He clutched her tighter to him.
Her face became more serious, and she closed her mouth. Y/n gently put a wet thumb on his cheek. "I love you too, Levi." They stayed there, in that moment together.
"and yet I'm only your second favorite Ackerman." Y/n sighed, going to pull away, but Levi grabbed her and to her surprise he laughed.
"What's so funny?" Levi and y/n turned, Connie, Sasha, Jean, Hanje, Eren, Armin, and Mikasa all stood over them.
"None of your business, brats." Levi said, crossing his arms. The group shared a glance. "Oh, no, guys wait-" Connie, Sasha, Jean, Hanje, and Mikasa attacked, jumping to tackle them, splashing and creating a mini hurricane.
Armin and Eren watched, still standing. Armin was smiling, whilst Eren's expression still remained cautious. The tension he had carried moments before abandoned him though, and it seemed as though now for the small moment they had, they all realized- only now could they truly live it.
Today was today and that was all they had for certain.
"There's water in a place where water should definitely not be!"
"Don't make me drown you!"
"Who's foot is this?"
"What's gonna happen when we leave? Will we still be wet?"
"GODDAMNIT I KEEP SWALLOWING IT! WHY DOES IT BURN!"
"you all are no match for my skills- I am unconquerable!"
"Yeah, I'm never doing this again."
Armin turned to Eren. "Sometimes... sometimes I believe that it'll never get better than this." He took a breath and Eren put a hand on his shoulder. "Right now...I think...I think you may be right, Armin."
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A/n: hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this, feel free to request more Levi Ackerman or to give critism. Merry Christmas!
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chemicalpink · 3 years
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Hii I think it would be really interesting if you could tell about Jungkook soulmate. Like why are they so popular aside from being his soulmate, what makes them special spiritual wise. Because a lot of ppl say this person is super strong and have a pure type of energy. Please share more on that.
Okay, so I actually did more research for this than my actual undergrad thesis.
So first off I wanna say, this is the way * I * see it, from my 15 years of spiritual experience, there is obviously much more to it since astrological aspects and divination in no way defines a multidimensional human being and their connections to people, if you’d like to know something else feel free to ask, I’ll do my best to answer (with my own ethical limits and respectful of the privacy from the ones involved)
OKAY so, a crash course on soulmates, there are a lot of types and they may not present themselves as romantic partners, most of them, especially if karmic, will leave your side once they’ve helped you through something.
It’s kinda tricky to know if someone is your soulmate unless you can do an in-depth synastry analysis, which means knowing exactly the two charts, of course, on a personal level, if you are in tune with your own energy, you can come across people and tell they’re part of your soul family.  
So really, what has surprised me the most about the whole “JK’s soulmate” is just exactly *how* it came to be, did someone did a synastry with their own chart, saw karmic aspects and was like yeah I’m his soulmate, then transformed it into an oh he has a soulmate, or are we starting from this man having no filter and saying that he’s waiting for *the one*?
I really REALLY wanted to trace back to the first-ever post of him having a soulmate, couldn’t find it so all we can go from are tarot readings and really him saying he knows there’s someone out there for him.
Astrologically speaking many people analyze his Juno, but I’d say it’s in general… what he likes in a partner in terms of marriage.
Apart from that, as I’ve said before, all the info on his soulmate derives from tarot readings/predictions and some people that say they channel his higher self.
From my experience, yes, Jeon Jungkook is sure that he has a soulmate, that they are somewhere out there and that he’ll meet them sometime, he’s a big softie (we’ve talked about how he likes to always remind me in my readings that there’s a past-life partner, his true love, his soulmate)
Now, I hate to bring up couple’s therapy but a relationship is between two people, which means that as much as he is longing for this soulmate, this other person is on their own life path, we don’t have a chart for them obviously, so all we got left are general divinations, asking questions, getting answers from either tarot, charms, rods, pendulum, whatever, it is always us asking questions, plus, divination does not provide an accurate answer, they just read between the lines of present energy and provide a most likely outcome to situations.
As I said before, there’s a lot of *in between* information, like, do they know who their soulmate is, are they looking for each other, how is it likely to play out and out there, many people seem to talk about it, especially about this person being a ‘runner’ in the connection, saying that they will make Jungkook wait and a lot of stuff that to me, sounds like they are antagonizing this potential soulmate because let’s get real, Jungkook is a very sought after celebrity, so of course it makes sense to antagonize a potential partner of his.
The thing is, this man has no filter whatsoever, whatever awakening he’s through, he now knows that voicing his opinions on *finding the one* have come to bite him in the ass because there’s a lot of energy shifts, people manifesting him, self inserting themselves on the narrative that they are potential soulmates for whatever reason. I think there’s a blurred line between you know, doing a synastry reading with a celebrity and actually acting upon the astrological aspects, astrology is contextual, a big *most of the time* that is not a rule, so having karmic aspects with someone might mean you’ll get to know them, or it could simply mean that you came across them on their path as artists and they helped a lot through their art. Who knows. The universe knows, so if it’s meant to be, it will be.
Now, my take on the whole info that’s out there on Jungkook’s soulmate, (if they are the one appearing on the readings and not another partner)  from my experience reading for him.
People saying that they are older, mmmm yeah I kinda get where they’re coming from, if you are an intuitive reader, you get the ‘old soul’ vibe from reaching out to the connection, but as always, the universe doesn’t provide the ultimate truth, so I’d stick with *old soul* not older, they could be more mature, could be older, can even go as far as to say they’re more traditional. We don’t have a way to accurately tell.
People saying that they are a foreigner, I honestly- don’t know where this comes from, as I’ve said before, we don’t have an accurate way to confirm, just short term divination which means that whatever outcome people see is most likely from his soon to be partner or current partner, if his soulmate is indeed a soon-to-be partner and foreigner shows up, I mean yeah, could be, he’s an international artist, would make sense for him to fall for a foreigner as much as it makes sense for us foreigners to find him cute (?
That they see each other in astral/ through dreams. Well, I don’t know, I guess they could if they have the right mental space and a lot of spiritual work (? Soulmates are usually hard to reach honestly, cause what’s the point of getting to know them before they can be able to fulfil their earthly deed with you. I’d say that it’s more like the universe giving hints to the connection and not a one-on-one type of thing. Then again, why would you even go as far as to invade their astral privacy and get an answer about it (? Also, I need receipts on how exactly people got this info.
That his soulmate is a runner. Okay first off, don’t go and rummage into other people’s trauma and present it on the internet. A runner is supposed to be one part of the soulmate that is running away from the connection, while fully aware of it for whatever reason. Then again, how could someone possibly reach for some specific higher self if you don’t know who they are (? Entities are tricky, could be some other energy saying they are JK’s soulmate or another person that is manifesting them. There’s no clear way to know that any type of personal/spiritual info is 100% true.
His soulmate is someone spiritual. Probably, soulmates tend to have similar timings to their spiritual journeys, and while we don’t know who they are, we can see Jungkook being attracted to the spiritual so it’s only fair to asume they are too. I’d like to add on a personal note that I would say yeah, they are, and a strong one at that. Not because of any type of divination but because whenever I try to get info on them (by supposing they are a soon-to-be partner, reaching via Jungkook) it is very VERY hard to get an answer.
So in conclusion, please don’t forget that just as there is much more to Jeon Jungkook other than him being part of BTS, there is so much more to him than what the tarot or his chart says about him. It’s always fun to spill some tea on him and any other celebrity, but please remember that neither of those spiritual tools resonate fully with who he is, his preferences, his interpersonal connections or any other matter. They just see what’s there and are the *most likely to be true* answer, no one knows better than ourselves when it comes to personal info. Aside from that sure, perhaps there are ways to tell some deep deep answers about him and his soulmate via very hard concentration and connection processes but really- in this economy (? Why would you do that to yourself, we’re in the middle of a panini why would you sacrifice your mental health like that. Jungkook and his soulmate that he is so much as longing for is a personal connection between the two and sooner or later (ahem I’d say later) they’ll find each other.
With that being said and back on my silly self, all of this doesn’t mean I’ll stop doing love readings for him, I love roasting Jeon Jungkook (within boundaries) because he likes to piss me off constantly reminding me that I’m a lonely potato that has had (and lost) three soulmates.
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dimespin · 3 years
Text
Guide to being a friend with my fictional species
You know, just for fun, since I’ve talked a bit about some of the different social expectations of hydras and now Saratoans. So here we go, more detail.
Saratoans
Saratoans have committed platonic relationships that are similar to married couples in terms of emotional intimacy and material care, it’s important to identify who a Saratoan’s partner is so you can be respectful toward them and gracious about them bringing their partner along or prioritizing their partner’s needs over yours and openly “playing favorites” - it can ingratiate you to them to be nice to their partner by passing along gifts or nice words, or you can ask them how their partner is doing and show concern for their well being.
It’s unlikely you’ll be a Saratoan’s partner so don’t worry about accidentally becoming that kind of friend to them even if they are “single” - it can take a long time for adults to become that kind of friend with each other and there’s almost always long conversations and careful planning about the future involved. Most Saratoans met their partner as young people.
They expect you to keep your hands to yourself for the most part, but a good friend may squish their nose against your face in the same situations where you’d expect a hug. A quick pat on the nose like you’re bopping a large button is also acceptable (if they started booping their nose against you first), since they get that humans are hands oriented. Hugs and handshakes are also normal, although some are more reserved. It’s best to follow their lead regarding physical affection.
It’s important to avoid flashing your teeth in most cases, keep lips together when smiling. A broad smile (or a grimace to show your teeth) when first meeting is considered polite, and you can show your teeth when giving advice or teaching or giving guidance, though you may be shut down by an elder who will decide you don’t have the authority to give advice. Don’t argue too much with older Saratoans. If their teeth are so long they can’t even try to hide them treat them like a wise old wizard. Little bit of reverence, but still someone you could ask to show you a magic trick.
Do not pull on an adult’s tail it’s considered condescending. Also don’t mess with anyone’s pouch that’s weird.
Being friends with a Saratoan means hanging out together, talking, and eating. It takes them hours to fill their stomachs so chilling while they do it is a prime friend activity and bonding experience.
You can establish yourself as someone they could go to for deeper emotional conversation, or big favors, or who’d love to watch their kid, but they won’t push for that you have to take the initiative and offer it.
They may judge you a bit for not being caring toward humans one age group younger than you though.
Alligator hydras
You are either a member of the paddle (a true friend) or an acquaintance.
Acquaintances can have shallow but friendly interactions, chit chat, may be asked for the occasional favor but it’s not held against them if they say no.
If you get closer to them they will expect a LOT from you so beware. They consider a friend to be like a family member, you need to share food, you need to babysit their children, they will consider any space that is your home to be their space to come into as they please whether you are there or not and they will expect you to drop everything and help them when they need it. This spreads to everyone in their group, also called a paddle. You can’t be good friends with only one of them, you become a member of the paddle and therefore they all expect all this from you.
The thing is though, if you do all that, they will do all that for you too. The entire paddle.
They love to show their affection through physical touch and closeness. If you become their friend you may never know what personal space is again. They particularly appreciate pressure on the flat part on the top of their head, under their jaw, and on their cheeks, you can pat, pet or just rest your weight against these areas and they’ll interpret that as affection. Laying on top of their back when they are laying down, or sitting on the “shell” part of their back, or petting this part of their back, also counts as affection.
They don’t really care that humans pet animals too, so it’s kind of like treating them like a pet, they will pet YOU too. It’s whatever.
It’s okay to have different relationships with each twin as long as you are respectful to both. It’s important not to mix them up so get ready to figure out your right from your left or look for differentiating features or demeanor, because they will not be forgiving about this despite the fact they look largely identical.
Dryads
Dryads are very shy especially around humans, but if you establish a friendship with one, a dryad’s two favorite friendship activities are vibing in near-total silence for long periods and gossip.
Anything that follows “now you didn’t hear this from me, but...” is a fantastic bonding activity, but if you’ve got nothing to say, sitting in their vicinity and minding your own business works too.
They prefer that you not touch them in any way unless explicitly invited to do so. Physical affection is likely to be very small blink and you’ll miss it moments like a pat on the shoulder or hand.
You’ll know you’re doing the silence right if you hear a clicking sound from them grinding their teeth together.
Dryads pair bond with a mate for life, so they will also likely have a husband/wife/spouse to be aware of. Their relationship to that person is very similar to the average human married couple, but their spouse is likely to openly snub interacting with you because they are shy. Don’t take it personally. Your friend will defend their spouse if you try to take issue with this behavior so just let it go.
It’s also important to note that being a dryad’s friend means you are expected to be part of the larger network of people who help each other when needed. Your friend may tell you to go to some dryad you’ve never even met before and do that dryad a favor, and unless you’ve got a good excuse to not do it, failure to follow through with the favor will damage your relationship to your friend.
If you’ve ever been asked to do one of these favor errands you are also free to let your friend know when you need a favor like this done for you. Try not to abuse the privilege by asking them to help you in situations you don’t really need help, this can damage your relationship too.
Lacunalithops dexter (bees)
You are basically an ambassador interacting with a country.
You are almost certainly not going to get to know an individual worker, so it’s best to think of yourself as forming an alliance with a large group.
You will likely be interacting with the hive via bribes. Candy, sugar and fruit offerings will curry favor with the hive, who will attempt to demonstrate their appreciation with offerings to you based on what they think you’ll like.
Once you establish yourself as a safe person to be around, workers will frequently treat you like furniture, landing on you and such.
They will rarely attempt to communicate with sign language because they find speaking that slowly infuriating. If you are lucky and they understand your written language they may leave you notes, which are likely to come across as oddly entitled and demanding.
Don’t expect them to understand anything you say with verbal audio language, they are essentially hard of hearing and don’t especially care to learn to read lips. You can get their attention by yelling but don’t bother with anything more nuanced then “HEY!”
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nanami-says · 3 years
Text
Part V (2/3): chapters 58~60
Chapter 58
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[About Sukuna’s fingers resonating with one another]
"The ones that possess an immense presence. The ones that are hiding. The ones that are already taken in by cursed spirits."
⇒ "1) The ones with too big presences. 2) The ones holding their breath. 3) The ones already absorbed by cursed spirits."
I added the numbers for explanation purposes, see below. 
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"One of Sukuna's fingers was hidden by a cursed spirit. When Itadori consumed the finger in June, it released its cursed energy"
⇒ "The Sukuna fingers that had been absorbed were holding back their power [while] inside cursed spirits. Then they unleashed their cursed energy with Itadori's incarnation [of Sukuna] in June serving as a trigger."
Whelp. On top of extremely simplifying the explanation, they mixed up the kind of Sukuna finger involved here - it was very explicitly stated in the text that it was number 3) "absorbed" (assimilated) fingers, and not 2) "hiding" fingers. 
I guess saying that Itadori consumed the finger isn't wrong plot wise but it's actually referred to (here and many times more in the manga) as "incarnation"! The same word also gets used for the death painting brothers.
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[Megumi remembering a conversation with Gojou] 
"I was surprised you asked me to train you"
⇒ "It's rare for you to ask me for a practice, Megumi"
"To train you" wasn't wrong but Gojou saying "it's rare" here points to it either happening occasionally or having happened in the past and I'm not sure "I was surprised" quite conveys that. 
"Are you feeling pressure because of Yuji's growth?"
⇒ "Did you get impatient after getting surpassed by Yuuji?"
Gojou actually says that Yuuji has surpassed Megumi here! Quite a different nuance from just "Yuji's growth".
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"Megumi, your skill and potential are probably higher than Yuji's. All that’s left is the mental aspect"
⇒ “You know, Megumi, I think that both your real ability and potential are in no way inferior to Yuuji's. (...)"
Emphasis mine because pray tell, how does one reach the conclusion that "don't lose out to"/"aren't inferior to" equals to "are probably higher". “Skill” was fine btw but I’d probably go with “mindset” for the last line, personally.
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[Gojou explaining why he thinks Megumi doesn’t know how to make a serious effort giving the baseball game as an example]
“Why did you bunt? You sacrificed yourself so that Nobara could advance. Well, good for you"
⇒ "Why did you make a sacrifice bunt? Did you want to advance Nobara to the next base even if it meant you'd be out yourself? That's commendable"
The nuance for the last line was just different - the word used there usually is just used as praise, either genuine or ironic but imo “good for you” has a different meaning. Also he says “out”  but it’s written as “death” (although that is sometimes the case in baseball as well.)
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“But no matter how many allies you have around you, you'll always die alone"
⇒ “(...) when you die, you’re alone”
I tried to phrase it a bit closer to the original because I feel like the nuance may just be different for this line but can’t quite put a finger on the how.
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[Gojou to Megumi]
"To die and then win, and dying victoriously are two completely different things, Megumi"
⇒ "To win by dying and to win even if you die are completely different, Megumi"
Emphasis by Gege. Ngl, I had no clue what the English was trying to say here… This is most likely what the line actually meant.
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[Megumi regaining his consciousness after he blacked out from getting hit] 
 "How long was I out? Was my divine dog destroyed? No, my technique's finished"
Actually "my technique got undone". Putting it as "has finished" is imo both unclear and misleading. Similar situation as in ch. 1 (refer to part I).
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[Lead-up to Megumi using a domain expansion for the first time]
"A jujutsu sorcerer's growth never comes easy"
⇒ "The growth curve of a sorcerer isn’t always gentle"
Mostly, the line was more intricate in the original but also the grammatical construction used here that they mistranslated as "never" actually means "not always [necessarily]” instead.
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"Here we go!!"
Not really incorrect but it's kinda generic and I guess something like "I'm gonna do it!" is closer nuance wise. 
"With a firm base, skill and imagination, a person can change thanks to the slightest of events"
⇒ "A firm foundation, a handful of sense, and imagination. Then, [even] with a most insignificant opportunity, a person will change"
A pity they simplified "a handful of sense" into just "skill" here. Overall not really incorrect but I wanted to propose something that imo better conveys the original wording and vibe.
“Area expansion”
…”area”? What? Obviously this is actually “domain expansion”. I just don’t have words.
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“Think bigger! My technique’s interpretation!”
First sentence actually referred to the second one, so it’s actually something like “Expand it!! The technique’s interpretation!!”
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[Megumi to the cursed spirit after his shikigami deals it a finishing blow]
"Divine dog's claws even hurt it...You were no match!"
"(...) So something like piercing through you when you're not even paying attention was easy"
Less excitement, more dismissiveness, I’d say? Also, for the divine dog it’s actually specified that it’s “divine dog (totality)” and not just simply “divine dog”. The term appeared before in ch. 47.
Chapter 59
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[Megumi talking about what he considers the basic rule for human interactions in a flashback to his middle school years]
"Basically, you shouldn't cross any line that violates another person's dignity. You should acknowledge each other's mutual existence. That's the rule. You ignored it and fed your stupid ego"
⇒ "In short, it's drawing a line in order not to jeopardise one another's dignity; [it’s] a process through which both parties can coexist. That's what the "rule" is”. You broke it, throwing your weight around and forcing everyone to walk on eggshells around you”
For the first sentence, Megumi says “it’s drawing a line”, so the nuance here was probably closer to “creating boundaries” rather than “crossing boundaries” like in the official English release. For the second sentence, the original literally says “the process through which one another’s existence is achieved”, so rather than acknowledging each other’s existence the sentiment is probably closer to live and let live? For the last sentence, they once again simplified it to the barest bones.
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"I'll definitely tell Ikezawa and everyone today that we're not their lapdogs"
“You got this, Aida!”
"But we might be the next punching bags, so don't go overboard!"
Should be “Ikezawa and others'' and definitely “that I’m not their errand boy” for the smallest boy’s first line. If all of them were already being treated as errand boys like the way using the plural form here implies, the other student’s reply wouldn’t make sense.
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[After Tsumiki sees Megumi has beaten up delinquents once again]
“You said you wouldn’t pick fights anymore”
“You’re not my mom”
⇒ (...) “Don’t act like you’re my guardian”
Imo the distinction is significant because there’s a possibility that Tsumiki as the older of the two probably did feel responsible for Megumi to an extent and acted accordingly, as if she was his guardian. 
Also, he doesn’t actually say “mom” - this is not the first time where the official English release opts for a gendered phrase where the original uses a neutral form. (Like making Yuuji say his grandpa was like a dad to him when he actually said parent all the way back in ch. 2.) 
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[Megumi’s thoughts from back in the middle school]
"I hate bad guys with no brains and zero emotional capability. Walking around feeling proud. Disgusting."
⇒ "I hate bad people. The way they act like they’re superior, with their complete lack of imagination or sensitivity. Disgusting”
I guess I really dislike the way they worded it here, especially the “no brains” part since Megumi wasn’t really talking about intellect or smarts here but about imagination (and sensitivity), which he literally describes as being akin to "vacant lot", "empty lot", "raw land”, which is much more evocative.
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"I hate goody-goodies forgiving bad people, justifying mercy. Makes me wanna puke"
⇒ "I hate good people. The way they forgive such bad people and perceive that act of forgiveness as something noble. They make me sick"
Mhm, way to just simplify the heck out of the whole line. I’m extra bothered by their use of “goody-goodies” here since this is yet another appearance of a rather formal word for “good person” (善人/zennin) in the original and which I’ve observed to be a very important part of the world-building in jjk. I discuss it at length in various previous installments, with notable examples including: ch. 9 (Megumi about Yuuji and about the kind of people he wants to save - part I), ch. 31 (Nanami and Yuuji’s conversation in the aftermath of the Junpei incident - part III 2/2), ch. 36 (Panda about Yuuji - part IV 2/5).
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“Tsumiki, you’re a perfect example of a good person.”
See, the word he uses here to describe Tsumiki is the same as in the line above (善人) but because back then it got translated as “goody-goodies”, you’d never guess it since the vibes are just that different.
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[Megumi reminiscing about meeting Gojou for the first time]
"In the first grade, my dad and Tsumiki's mom got married and separated just as quickly"
⇒ "When I was in the first grade of elementary school my father and Tsumiki’s mother, our respective single parents, got together and disappeared into thin air"
The original doesn’t mention marriage OR separation. Heck, especially for the second one, it doesn’t even come close to mentioning it?? I have no clue where they got this from. 
What I put as “got together” can also be translated as “to have a liaison with (a man or a woman)” (among others). Since Tsumiki’s surname is also “Fushiguro” in middle school, it’s possible that they were actually married and many Japanese fans seem to think that as well but it’s not explicitly stated, at least not here, so those are most likely speculations. 
As for mysterious “separation”, the word used here actually means "disappearance (of people intentionally concealing their whereabouts); unexplained disappearance", so imo the whole section means their parents got together and at some point both disappeared. As we learn at one point in the manga Touji first and Tsumiki’s mum sometime later. 
(Btw, one fan scanlation used “evaporation” here instead and while this is another possible translation of the word in question, imo from the context it’s clear that the intended meaning was the “unexplained disappearance” instead.)
Lastly, Megumi uses kind of formal expressions when referring to both his own dad and Tsumiki’s mum, which imo is indicative of the emotional distance.
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[Tiny Megumi about teenager Gojou]
"A weirdo with white hair said"
⇒ "A suspicious man with white hair"
Needless to say, he doesn't actually call Gojou a weirdo.
[Gojou about Touji] 
"But he's a loser that just works for me. He left the family and had you."
⇒ "He's enough of a good-for-nothing to take aback even me. Basically, he left home and then had you."
Emphasis mine. Again, I literally have no clue where they got the translation they went with for this. “Works for me” - just what?? (Btw, one of the fan scans available for this had the latter part of this line mistakenly imply that Gojou had Megumi leave his house. The bit definitely referred to Touji leaving the Zen’in family.)
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"You're something your dad used against the Zen'in family. His trump card"
⇒ “You’re something your father kept as his strongest card against the Zen’in family”
A bit of a different nuance than “your dad used” suggests.
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"The divorce money makes sense now. I was sold to this Zen'in family"
⇒ "The mystery behind the funds for their disappearance got solved. Apparently, I was sold to this Zen’in family or something"
Again, the word for “divorce” doesn’t make an appearance ANYWHERE in this chapter, least of all this page. ...How. 
Once again - fan scans had this as money that also evaporated but neither it nor the official English release make sense, considering the line is followed up by “I was sold” as the explanation. So yeah, imo the first sentence definitely referred to the money Megumi considered necessary for Touji (and co’s) disappearance.
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[Gojou referring to Touji basically selling Megumi off]
"Sucks, doesn't it?"
"Yeah, it's annoying. Especially your attitude."
⇒ “It pisses you off, doesn’t it”
“Yeah, it does piss me off. Especially that lack of delicacy of yours”
I mentioned it multiple times but imo repetition in the original text tends to be done on purpose and as a device and imo this was another example where this was the case. Megumi borrows Gojou’s words here. (Which mean “to be irritated, “to be angry” and not “it sucks”.)
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[Megumi continuing about Gojou]
"But that annoying guy wrote off the situation with the Zen'in family. He made a promise that we would work as sorcerers in the future. We would be collateral and receive financial support from Jujutsu High in exchange."
���"This man pisses me off, but it was him who cancelled the deal with the Zen'in family, and made it so we would receive financial support from the technical college with me working as a sorcerer in the future [serving] as collateral for it”
I don’t know why they’d translate it as “we would work” here since who the “we” would be supposed to even entail other than Megumi himself? Surely not Tsumiki. Or Gojou. Also, putting the next bit as “we would be collateral” makes it sound kind of dehumanising to me, ngl, whereas Megumi was talking about his labour here.
Also, the same phrase for “pisses off” as above got used once again, which makes it three times in a row, so imo that was definitely a deliberate stylistic choice on Gege’s part.
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“Jujutsu sorcerers. How stupid.
⇒ "Sorcerers, what even. How nonsensical"
Just proposing an alternate wording.
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[Megumi about the curse Tsumiki got hit by]
"All we knew was that we didn't know anything. Tsumiki still sleeps."
The word used to describe Tsumiki’s state literally means “became bedridden”, which imo heavily implies she fell into a coma. “Still sleeps” is most likely a misunderstanding on the translator’s part since the word sounds like it’d mean that (but it doesn’t.)
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[Megumi about Tsumiki]
"Always smiling and saying nice things"
⇒ “Always smiling and spouting lip service”
Another case where the translator seems to have translated the word based on the way it’s written as opposed to checking the actual meaning. (The “nice things” phrase.)
"It's not a bad thing to not forgive people. Megumi, that's your way of showing kindness."
⇒ “Not being able to forgive people isn’t a bad thing. That’s your kindness, Megumi”
It wasn’t just “not to forgive” but “not being able to forgive”! Which imo would imply the next line’s nuance was something similar to Tsumiki considering Megumi’s inability to forgive people to be something that stems from his kindness (e.g. because he can’t stand seeing injustice).
"Even spinning my short-comings in a positive light."
⇒ “She would affirm even my nature"
Imo this line was more of Tsumiki accepting Megumi as he is or at least that’s what the line says - makes sense with what I proposed for the line above too. Translating it the way they did in the official release kind of feels like overinterpreting.
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"But even she would get upset when I hurt somebody. I was annoyed by the hypocrisy"
⇒ "But even such Tsumiki would get genuinely angry (...). I would get annoyed thinking she was a stickler to the rules and a hypocrite"
Emphasis mine. The phrase that the translators seem to have skipped here and I translated as "stickler to the rules" literally means "to play it safe", "to avoid trouble at all cost". 
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"Yeah, I know. I was immature. I'm sorry so please wake up already"
“I’m sorry, I was a brat. I’ll apologise so just wake up already, stupid older sister”
Just a different nuance and tone for the whole line.
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"All I did was get rid of the Yasohachi bridge curse. My sister's sleeping curse is a separate matter."
⇒ "This Yasohachi bridge curse was probably only overlapping with it, and the curse that caused Tsumiki to fall into a coma probably hasn't been lifted"
The official English release makes it sound like sleeping (or more correctly, the coma) was the nature of the curse that Tsumiki was put under, whereas imo the original indicates it just as its effect, which is an important distinction.
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“As for the finger and Itadori…”
⇒ “What should I tell Itadori about the finger...”
The “tell”, “say” is only implied here but it’s pretty clear from the context that was the meaning. Also, he explicitly says “to Itadori” here.
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[After the Yasohachi bridge curse got defeated by Megumi who then retrieved the Sukuna finger from it] 
"All of sudden I feel a presence. Did the finger get out of the barrier? Whoever took out the finger bearer is quite formidable."
⇒ “The huge presence that appeared all of sudden... Did Sukuna's finger get out of the barrier? If it was a sorcerer that exorcised the finger's host, they must be quite good......."
Emphasis mine on bits that got cut out in the official release. Because Esou was facing off Nobara, he probably assumed it’s likely there may be other sorcerers present and imo that’s what this line also suggests.
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"Even so... The finger... Even if they fought against a special-grade and won, They more than likely didn't come out of it unscathed. I hope they're okay."
Just to clarify that the word used for “they” in the original indicates the speaker knows the people in question, so those were Nobara’s thoughts here.
 Chapter 60
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[Esou to Yuuji and Nobara after he activates his wing king technique]
“Start running and turn your backs to me”
“Run. With your backs turned to me” would fit better nuance and mood wise. (Esou didn’t want to show his back to anyone so now he’s’ forcing them to show theirs.)
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[Nobara to Yuuji after he scooped her up because she couldn’t run as fast as he could]
“I got your back”
“Okay”
“Okay” isn’t incorrect per se but the word has the nuance of “I’m counting on you”.
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[Nobara to Yuuji after he speeded through the forest while carrying her, allowing them to escape from Esou's technique]
"Well done, you deserve some praise"
“Yeah, yeah”
“Just kidding. Thanks!”
⇒ "You have my praise." (...)
Actually a set phrase! Spoken from a rather elevated/superior POV, which is why Nobara later reiterates that she’s genuinely thankful. Also, I probably would just go with a period for “Thanks”, imo nuance wise it didn’t require an exclamation mark and it’s not there in the original either.
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[Esou after Yuuji gets splashed with Kechizu’s blood]
"There's no need to worry. My younger brother's blood isn't the same quality as mine"
Actually "doesn't have the same properties like mine”.
"You wouldn't even die from mine unless you were drowned in it."
Much closer to something like "unless you were to bathe your whole body in it".
"But it does hurt like hell"
⇒ "But it does hurt to death"
Not really wrong meaning wise but in the original it was “to death” instead of “like hell”, which combined with a previous line was probably a wordplay. "You won't die but it does hurt to death"
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[Esou explaining how his and Kechizu’s shared technique works]
"If you take in one of our brother's blood and if one brother activates a technique"
Idk if it's clear here but it most likely doesn't matter which brother does which (could even be the same one). Also, definitely should’ve been “the” or “this” for technique, since Esou has just stated on the same page he’s now going to start laying out how a specific technique of he and his brother’s functions.  
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[Esou replying to Yuuji]
"Yes, the result is essentially poison. Our technique is 'decomposition'"
Should be “but what our technique is, is actually ‘decomposition’” nuance wise.
"It's activated now. In reality they'll be dead faster than that”
⇒ “Done with technique disclosure, so in reality (...)”
Emphasis mine. You know, the rule in jujutsu where if you explain your technique to your opponent, it gets a buff? “Activation” is just wrong here. 
While it’s not phrased as such, the phenomenon is first explained in ch. 20 during Nanami’s explanation to Yuuji (refer to part II 2/2). It also gets mentioned by name later in the manga but oftentimes the official release would either skip it or word it completely differently so it’s hard to tell, like in ch. 51, when Hanami realises Toudou has lied to him (part IV 5/5). 
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[The history of how cursed wombs came to be]
"[In the beginning of the Meiji era] there was a girl with special genetic makeup who bore a cursed-spirit child"
Actually “with an idiosyncrasy that allowed her to get pregnant with the child of a cursed spirit”! Imo an important distinction since it’s not certain whether her first child that gets discussed here was born prematurely or not and the following pregnancies were all aborted.
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"A child born of mixed blood - both cursed spirit and human.”
Skipped “grotesque child” at the end.
“It was a mysterious pregnancy. She would be ostracized by family and friends.”
⇒ "Starting from a pregnancy she had no recollection of, [followed by] the oppression from her kith and kin, it made her go insane"
This latter part of this section is filled to the brim with complicated language so I’m not entirely sure but I think this might’ve been the intended meaning of the line. The official translators were probably struggling with the vocabulary too, so they cut out some stuff entirely, to be precise - the go insane part. It’s the bit I’m not certain about myself but I scoured Japanese dictionaries and that’s the meaning that seemed to be the best fit among the options.  
Anyway, to reiterate - the bit about the pregnancy actually says that the girl herself didn’t even know (couldn’t remember) how it came to be. The part about the relatives doesn’t mention friends, it’s actually a set phrase that means “one's relatives by blood and marriage (in blood and law); one's kith and kin” - I went here with the latter since it’s shorter and fits the overall vibe of the line.
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“She would hold the corpse of the child and flee to a temple in the mountains. The temple was run by jujutsu sorcerers. However, her luck had run out."
⇒ “(...) However, this was when her luck run out”
Other than the nuance in the last line, this isn’t mistranslated but the whole section just flowed differently in the original and felt less disjointed.
Also! One of the scanlations I’ve seen had it misspelled as “Noshitori” but the evil sorcerer’s name is actually “Kamo Noritoshi” (and yes, it’s the same as the young Kamo but the “toshi” is written with different characters).
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"The child born from a cursed spirit and human would become a prisoner of intellectual curiosity"
⇒ "His [Kamo Noritoshi's] intellectual curiosity would be taken captive by children born between a cursed spirit and a human"
Very much the other way around. It's very clear in the original that the subject of the sentence was Kamo's intellectual curiosity and not the child.
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"Death painting wombs: numbers 1-3. Cursed objects worthy of special grade."
Closer to "cursed objects powerful enough to be classified as special grade"
"Did cursed energy originate from a mother's hatred? No..."
It's specified here as "did their cursed energy" instead (emphasis mine), and the question is actually left unanswered......................................................... So yeah, congrats on getting rid of this very intended ambiguity. It's something like "or was it maybe--"
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[About cursed wombs]
"For 150 years, with only the notion of one another's existence, they would survive, sealed away"
⇒ "For 150 years, they endured the seal, relying only on one another's existence"
"The notion" just doesn't capture the sentiment of the line at all, which imo is most likely the follow-up to the narrator's musings about the origin of the death painting's immense cursed energy. (See above.)
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"We're siding with that cursed spirit."
Actually "siding with them", read as "them" but written as "the cursed spirits" - probably plural as the original literally says "the side of the cursed spirits", so it possibly means cursed spirits as a whole as well, aside of Mahito and co specifically. Remember, the brothers are actually half-humans too. I explain in depth the “written as but read as” device in part IV 4/5 (ch. 48, Toudou’s “my friend” phenomenon).
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"The future that the cursed spirits have painted is more suited for us. But that's it. Forget about what we owe for our freedom"
Not incorrect per se but Chousou actually says “forget the debt we owe them of our incarnation”, which would make it yet another instance where the official English release has cut out the term entirely. (Emphasis mine.)
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[Nobara after stating that a technique that assures a win as long as it hits an opponent is indeed powerful]
"I'm a bad match for you!!"
Actually “the worst match [possible]” - more confidence in the line! 
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[Nobara to the death painting brothers after using Resonance on herself thus redirecting their attack back at them]
"Let's play a game of chicken, shall we?"
The actual wording is “contest of endurance”, I’m not entirely sure if the two have the same connotation.
[part v (3/3)]
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sleepylixie · 4 years
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What are friends for?
College! Han Jisung X fem! Roommate reader
Imperium Universe || Jisung || Seungmin || Chan
1.5k words, Fluffy Fluff fluff,College!AU, Roommate!AU
Beware of: None other than teeth-rotting fluff and a teeny bit of swearing. Seungmin is chaotic evil incarnate but we been knew already 😂😂
A/N: the soft feels for Han Jisung hit hard 24/7, you guys. I MEAN LOOK ST THIS CUTIE BABIE I AM SIMPING. i have nothing more to say for myself. Please enjoy my offerings 🥺❤️❤️
Requests are open for SKZ and BTS! || Masterlist
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//
Han Jisung wasn’t used to roommates. Him and his law major friend Seungmin had neglected to apply for on-campus housing until the last minute. A freak administrative error had the both of them assigned to a certain Y/N’s room and... safe to say, the two of them had had a bit of a surprise in store for them when they met you.  
It was disconcerting for Jisung at first- to see his first impression of your appearance as a possibly reserved, introverted character dissolve into chaos the second you opened your mouth. You were a force of nature dressed in pastel skirts, a lavender-scented hurricane that had no control over her tongue or hair. You smiled like a fox- sweet and unassuming on the surface, but sharp-witted and deceptive underneath.
Jisung knew instantly that Seungmin would click with your personality. The both of you were freakishly similar, with your innocent appearance melting into sheer devilry whenever the two of you wished so. Of course, he was right.  Seungmin took to you with great interest-the two of you clicked like kindred souls, or possibly reunited twins who were separated at birth. Jisung, on the other hand... 
He was intimidated by you, and that made it slightly difficult for him to settle down around you. While you never treated him with anything beyond familiarity and the niceties of acquaintances, he could never allow himself the same sense of familiarity that Seungmin allowed himself with you. 
He wished so dearly that he could behave otherwise, for he would be lying if he said he hadn’t found you just a little attractive (just a smidgen) from the second he met you. Jisung wanted to be close to you, gain your trust and friendship, but for some reason(him scared of looking like an idiot and possibly having you judge him for the rest of his life) he could never bring himself to do it.
//
The three of you had been living together for a good year and a half, well into your third semester and you’d all figured out how to live with each other. For example, Seungmin would only cook if there was DAY6 music playing in the kitchen. The way you entered the house was a clear indication of your mood that day- and today, it was a loud, resounding slam followed by strings of cursing.
“This is a fucking scam. This entire university is a cesspool of money mongering bastards and greedy professors who don’t deserve a shred of anybody’s fucking respect-
“Woah, slow down there, tiger, what’s got your tail on fire?” Jisung asked you, jumping upright from where he was lounging on the couch. Your eyes flashed with annoyance as you threw yourself onto the side of the couch Jisung had just vacated.
He couldn’t help but let his eyes rove your body as unnoticeably as he could manage. Your hair looked windswept from your walk back to the apartment, one of the guys’ hoodies and jeans covering your frame. How you could look so devastatingly adorable despite having steam pouring out of your ears was absolutely beyond him.
“What happened, is my fucking creative lit professor refused to grade me up for the mid-term assignment, even though I know my piece was one of the best.” You were fuming, stark raving mad, literally one second away from shooting sparks out of your ears as your hands twisted together on your lap.
“He told me that if I worked harder at trying to become a better writer, I wouldn’t have to be begging for a better grade. AND HE SAID THAT I SHOULD TRY NEW METHODS OF BEGGING IF I WANTED IT THAT BADLY.”
Jisung’s eyes narrowed as he took in the words that were spewing out of your mouth. “Did he really-” “YES HE DID I CAN’T WITH THIS UNIVERSITY-” You burst out, letting an angry yell punctuate your sentence. 
“Do you want to go to the Dean? I’m sure they’ll be able to do something about it.” 
At that, you smiled at Jisung, the same foxy smile that had him shrinking a little into himself every time he saw it- it was a thing of rather savage beauty, very out-of-place on a face as endearing as yours.
“Not really, I handled it myself.”
Jisung stared at you, his internal discomposure melting into curiosity. “What the fuck did you do Y/N, I swear if you got one of the varsity jocks to beat him up or something-”
“I’m glad you think I’m capable of that, honestly.” You giggled, anger temporarily forgotten, swatting at Jisung’s thigh. Were those butterflies in his stomach? Gods, he would eat a knife if it got them to stop fluttering-
//
“She had the Dean on call when she spoke to that sleazeball of a professor,” Jisung exclaimed, amidst assorted gasps and cheers from his audience, laughing a little himself as he sipped his beer. “guess who got a new creative lit professor and full marks for the assignment.”
You laughed as everybody around you let out peals of laughter, thumping you on the back in appreciation.
Your roommates had a gang of 6 other boisterous boys from all over the campus, united by a string of unsavory events and narrowly avoided expulsion. You should probably be concerned, sure, but the vibe the 8 of them had with each other was way too nice for you to not be roped in; now you were part of all their weekly parties at Chris and Hyunjin’s frat house. 
You were situated on the armrests of one of the couches in said frat house, red cup supplied with your kind of poison- Whiskey and soda. All of the boys were gathered around the common room, laughing and talking amongst each other when Jisung took it upon himself to recount the story of your creative lit professor’s unfortunate dismissal. 
It was a rather embarrassing pastime of yours, to watch Han Jisung. He was a strange one, alright. Out in the world, he was a loud, boisterous guy with a penchant for words, knowing exactly what to say at any point of time. It earned him his reputation of being a cheeky mood maker in any setting, the kind of guy who had friends all over the campus and beyond. 
In truth, however, the Han Jisung you came to know was reserved, a little more hesitant with his words, the kind who’d allow his friends to speak up for him unless he absolutely had to. He wasn’t a pushover by any means, no. He was just a little more picky with his words when they were meant for the people he was comfortable with.
For some reason, it warmed your heart when he behaved that way around you too- it felt like he’d accepted you into his inner circle. For some reason, your heart honest to god skips a beat when he smiles, this fucking adorable smile every time you and Seungmin tease him around at the apartment because fuck, he doesn’t always smile like that, does he? For some reason, you end up noticing his eyes when he smiled like that, the way his cheeks lifted up in this devastating manner, the way he’d laugh out loud with his whole body, so at odds with his reserved personality-
Yeah, no you definitely had a thing for him. You thought you were being glaringly obvious with it too, with the unabashed way you’d notice and steal glances at him every time he walked into the room. 
Not that you’d ever tell him any of this though, you were fairly sure you’d sent him an impression of mild intimidation with your rather...loud personality.
It was probably for the best if you admired Han Jisung from afar, hoping that your fancy for him doesn’t take the reins on your behavior.
Jisung might not have noticed, but another certain somebody definitely did. Somebody who’s brain was already thinking, well-oiled cogs being put to use.
\\
“Jisung, you should probably know that Y/N has a thing for you,”
“Seungmin what the fu-” you spluttered, neck already burning. This was not fucking happening.
“Is this what the roommate convention was for, you sneaky lil rat?” you exclaimed, doing everything you could to not lock eyes with the third roommate who was seated on your bed with the other two of you, now gawking between you and Seungmin with a rose blush scattered across his nose. 
Seungmin, to his credit, wasn’t fazed for a single second by the way the energy in the room changed, choosing to smile devilishly before continuing with his next sentence. 
“Y/N, you should probably know that Jisung has a thing for you too,”
What the fiddlesticks-
“And now, for my final trick, I shall excuse myself from this room. Roommate convention adjourned.”
Seungmin walked out of your room with a literal skip in his step. You would deal with your snake of a best friend after you were done with.. oh.
Your eyes finally met Jisung’s- warm amber eyes still looking at with a mixture of curiosity, surprise and affection that just knocked the words out of you. “Was Seungmin pranking me again?” He asked quietly, a hint of a smile playing across his lips. You sighed, trying to expel the nervousness. What the hell, might as well say the truth. 
“Not really,” the back of you neck felt like literal lava at this point- “I do like you.”
You were going to kill Seungmin.
“Good to know,” Jisung sighed in relief, his fingers twisting together on his lap. “Because uh.. He wasn’t pranking you either.” The next words seemed to take effort for him to get out, because his blush spread from his nose to his cheeks. “I like you too.”
You were going to thank Seungmin.
And then you were going to toss him into a dark room with Lee Minho and his boxing gloves, but that’s for later. 
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albatris · 3 years
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@polyacery​
:D!! yes!! ok!! yes!! please forgive the much-much-much-lengthier-than-intended ramble sorry thank you love you <3
first off, two facts about Noa and Kai:
they care about each other a lot
they cannot fucking STAND each other 90% of the time
they struggle a lot when it comes to teamwork, their personalities don't mesh well under pressure and their approaches to problem-solving differ wildly, so they often end up getting on each other’s nerves and being quite tense when they have to work together :P nothing, like, dramatic though, and nothing that escalates beyond general bickering and annoyance
that being said, on a personal and social level they do view each other as close friends and (can) get along well, though you’d be hard-pressed to get either of them to admit it. they share a lot of similarities (some of which I’ll go into) and both value the other as someone they can be open and honest with and drop their guard around, which is sayin somethin ‘cause openness and honesty are notoriously difficult for both of them lmao
in general I would say hmmmm
Noa views Kai (fondly) as a bastard and a swindler and possibly the most infuriating person she’s ever met, an opinion which does not change even as she grows to consider them a friend. like, genuinely? she fuckin hates their guts. and their ridiculously charming smile. and the way they can sweet talk their way into or out of any situation. she’s a little bitter about the way people just seem to hand over whatever Kai wants just ‘cause they’re a smooth-talker and good at pulling strings, ‘cause that level of uhhhhh sneaky interpersonal finesse is not something she’s ever really been able to access and it strikes her as cheating ahaha
that being said, though she finds their personality grating and their face punchable, they’re a person who cares intensely about people, not in an abstract theoretical all-talk-no-action kind of way, but in a concrete, physical, motivated “hey let me help you with that right now” kind of way, which Noa will never have any beef with. too many people sit around talking about what it means to do the right thing. not enough people get out there in a van full of interdimensional crime and pull off elaborate heists for the greater good
Kai has a similar take on Noa in that regard, as in, like. she’s kind of hardcore, yes. but. there are too many people sitting around talking about what it means to do the right thing, not enough people getting rightfully fucking unhinged and charging headfirst into injustice and cruelty and punching the shit out of it. her methods are a little too impulsive and headstrong for Kai’s tastes but it works for her n they’re cheering from the sidelines lol
but ye, Kai views Noa as. hm. a very very very intense person who is a lot of fun to mess with. pretty much as soon as Kai realises Noa isn’t going to be a threat in any capacity they’re like “sick now I have free reign to be the most annoying person in the universe” and they absolutely follow through. they find her passion and intensity amusing but admirable, and they were sold on the fact that she’s a good, kind person no matter her prickly exterior the second they saw how much she adores her mum c:
so, arguably, half of the next part is just,,,, me elaborating to an excessive extent,,,,, but this info used to be at the start of the ramble so I’d already written it before being like “hey wait a minute” so to hell with it I’m including it anyway
these two don’t get a lot of screentime together till the second half of the book and they have a pretty rocky start imo
like, Noa’s first impressions of Kai on two separate occasions are “that bastard who robbed me while I was on the clock” and “that random weirdo who somehow charmed my best friend into thinking they’re cool even though they sound like the shadiest motherfucker on the entire planet and I’m pretty sure they’re a serial killer”, which then culminate into “oh shit these are in fact the same person and they’re definitely bad news”
Kai never dislikes Noa the same way Noa dislikes them, but they are wary of her and have a healthy degree of fear regarding the threat she could pose to them.......... Kai and Noa’s different career choices put them at odds with each other right off the bat, what with Noa working for the Department of Interdimensional Instabilities and Kai operating a significantly less legal business that’s essentially the antithesis of the DII
plus Noa in general has a reputation for being Kind Of Fucking Terrifying
initially I would say they both view the other as “potentially a legitimate threat” and “not to be underestimated”, but post-mid-story-heist they get to spend some proper time together and form more grounded opinions of each other :P though arguably still for a considerable while the only reason they put up with each other is because Tris is like “:D” at them both and they’re like........ aw no I don’t wanna make him sad
Kai warms to Noa a lot faster than Noa warms to Kai, ‘cause Kai warms to most people pretty quick provided they’re not literal axe murderers. Noa starts to warm to Kai only after careful observation and assessment leads her to conclude the following two facts with reasonable certainty:
Kai does appear to be in possession of a solid moral compass
Kai has no ill intent towards Tris whatsoever
which tips the scale in their favour enough for her to be like “okay fine”
there's a level of distance and awkwardness between them for ages 'cause like, yeah, they're friends they guess but not like, friends-friends, there just seems to be something that's not clicking, n the main reason for that is just like
(handshake meme)
a deep-seated terror of being emotionally open and vulnerable resulting in a pathological need to project a loud outgoing persona that masks every ounce of insecurity and fear and prevents anyone from getting close enough to Know You: Noa 🤝 Kai
as soon as THAT realisation clicks for both of them n they're like "oh shit you're just like me and I know exactly how you feel" it instils a sense of connection and camaraderie between them and solidifies a kinship based on Something rather than simply "mutual friends" and "sometimes we're in the same place"
n like, obviously the others Know about the whole. situation. with Kai’s backstory but Kai’s still pretty cagey about it emotionally speaking.... I’m pretty sure Noa is?? the only person they manage to completely drop their guard around over the course of the story? in terms of like.... having a genuine heart-to-heart about the emotions involved and the fear n guilt
and like. yeah. yeah. Noa hasn’t made a friend besides Tris in like ten years n she’s also notoriously cagey with her emotions and her being genuine and vulnerable is just....... not a thing that happens very often or very easily.... and even less through a lot of the story
idk man. they’ve just got good vibes together
they offer each other a Safe Place and a level of understanding that maybe the others don’t quite grasp. even though the others r still empathetic and care for them a lot n have equally important things they bring to the friendship. Noa and Kai just have a vibe yeah
even though they’d sell each other to satan for one corn chip
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yuueee · 4 years
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 ★ 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐧𝐚 - relationship headcanons
song: pnb rock: selfish - slowed
word count: 1351
requested?: yes
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★ - 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬
↬ - so first off, Desna does not have the exact same personality as his twin sister Eska. while they do share many similarities in their personalities (they’re both introverts obvi), I don’t think he would just “claim” someone the way that she did - he would have to get to know you first. he gives me vibes of getting into a close friends to lovers type deal. having said that you’d most likely meet him by working with or near him in some way? like you may have some form of a job working in the northern water tribe or are the daughter of someone who works with Unalaq. at first, you might think that he’s kinda mean or rude because he seems a bit cold or deadpan, but you eventually realize it’s not intentional. he doesn’t dislike you, it just takes him a while to warm up to someone. you eventually go from not speaking at all to curt nods or simple hello’s - still not much but hey we’re getting somewhere right?
★ - 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬
↬ - knowing each other for some time, you notice that you two have slowly gotten closer. it’s nothing too serious, but sometimes after a day of work he might ask if you wanted to get dinner together since you both haven’t eaten in a while. another example is if he has some free time on his hands, he’ll spend it chatting it up with you over common interests. he enjoyed being in your presence so he made it a point to be around you as often as possible. I take it that he might be a bit dense in terms of his emotional feelings so he might not realize this constant longing to be around you is a crush.
★ - 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧
↬ - after a while, he comes to the realization that this yearning to reach and grab your hand or envelope you in a hug isn’t platonic. the problem is, he doesn’t know how to approach you with this information. as I stated before he is not Eska, he will not run up and grab you to confess his feelings. however, he doesn’t have anyone else to turn to for help besides his twin sister and his mother Malina (he had way too much pride to go to her about it), and settles for the first option. being her usual sassy self, Eska simply tells her brother to give you a betrothal necklace like she did with Bolin, to which he ignores her advice. he figures that he’ll just have to find some way to tell you on his own. he knew this wouldn’t be easy for himself, but he couldn’t just continue to live with these feelings without at least letting you know - even in the unfortunate case that you didn’t return them. 
the next time the both of you shared a meal held an awkwardness that you hadn’t felt since the two of you first met. Desna was often quiet, one of the things that attracted you to him - he was always attentive and listening, unlike others who would just talk over you at times. sensing that something may have been wrong, you decided to speak up. 
“Desna did I do something wrong” you asked, tilting your head in concern. you had never known him to be this silent, especially when he had that trip to the southern water tribe with his father and Eska coming up - he normally would have gone on a rant by now. 
“why would you think that?” he questioned, raising a eyebrow. you let a small sigh pass through your lips in irritation. 
“you haven’t spoken for the past hour.”
“and?”
“you were just being more quiet than usual.” you responded, sounding slightly defeated. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I guess I’ll leave you alone for the evening, I don’t want to be a bother.”
he felt a pang in his heart at the tone of your voice, the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt or upset you. 
“I’m sorry.”
“what are you talking about Desna?” you retorted back, still a bit agitated from his attitude towards you a few moments ago.
“I was being more reserved than normal because I was trying to figure out how to confess my feelings for you.”
“Wha-?” you sputtered incredulously, unsure of what to do with his sudden declaration. it had been no secret to your fellow peers of your attraction to him from the day you met him. you hadn’t ever dreamed that he would even consider returning your love so it had never crossed your mind to actually confess. 
“I understand if you don’t accept my fee-mmph!” the bone crushing hug you encased him in didn’t allow him to complete his sentence.
“I accept. I like you too.” you answered softly, feeling your heart grow warm as he gently wrapped his arms around your lower back - resting his head on your shoulder. 
★ - 𝐜𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠
↬ it’s probably no secret that Desna wouldn’t be the most affectionate one in a relationship, especially near the beginning or start of it. your relationship actually hadn’t changed in many ways after your mutual confession, other than him being a bit more possessive than usual. and not possessive in the gross toxic way either. he craved being in your presence more than anyone else he had encountered, you gave him a sort of peace away from the day to day madness that was being one of the chiefs of the northern tribe. 
when you accompanied his family on their trip to the south, you began to notice some things. while in public he would simply stand or sit near you - in complete privacy it was another story. (you cannot tell me that this man is not touch starved.) he seemed to always be touching you in some way or another. whether it was linking your pinkies or him resting his head in your lap so you could run your hands through his hair. you were the only person he allowed himself to be vulnerable with. 
also, just because he isn’t touchy with you in public doesn’t mean that he’s embarrassed to be with you or something of that nature. he would just rather treasure those moments alone with you.  
★ - 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬
↬ other than almost murdering Bolin with ice spikes for attempting to have a conversation with you, you could say that your time at the glacier spirits festival was quite fun. you may have even seen Desna crack the smallest of smiles once or twice, which wasn’t often at all. it didn’t mean he wasn’t happy with you though - he just shows his happiness in other ways like that weird laugh. watching his twin sister drag around the poor earthbender was also pretty funny to the both of you. 
after the festival had closed for the evening and everyone returned back to their respective places to sleep for the evening - the two of you decided to spend some time alone and stargaze. as cheesy as it sounded, the night sky filled to the brim with stars was possibly one of the most beautiful things you had ever seen in your life. nuzzling your head further atop his shoulder, you let your somewhat sleepy eyes rake across the vast expanse of darkness 
“it looks so beautiful” you whispered quietly, in attempt not to wake anyone else up even though you two were sitting atop a hill a good 30 feet away from where everyone else had gone to sleep. 
sitting up some and gazing upon your features whilst ignoring the slight burning sensation in his cheeks (that was totally just from the cold weather), he responded. 
“not as beautiful as you.” as soon as you turnt your head towards your boyfriend in confusion (saying cheesy things was your job, not his) - you were met with a warm pair of lips for a brief moment. before you could even register what had occured, he pulled away and rested his head atop your own.
Desna was undoubtably a strange man, but you loved him regardless. 
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𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @practicallylivesonline
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tiramisiyu · 3 years
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【未定事件簿】 Tears of Themis: 【腾霄】 Xia Yan | Skyflying Date Translation
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Translation Masterlist | Xia Yan Masterlist
Video
Translation under cut~
Part 1
Home
After finishing up with work, I returned home, collapsing onto my bed. Suddenly, my phone rang.
MC: Hello, Xia Yan?
Xia Yan: Got home yet?
MC: Just did, what’s up?
Xia Yan: Recently, there’s been an experiential culture variety show called “A Unique Challenge” – have you heard of it?
MC: I have – it’s been pretty popular recently, though I haven’t seen it yet.
MC: I heard that they’ll pick normal and famous people each week to experience cultures of different regions or types.
MC: Cheng Cheng’s idol participated once, experiencing an ancient ceremonial culture and playing some little games.
MC: Although, since when were you into variety shows?
Xia Yan: My friend was one of the picked participants, but he’s got something going on for now and doesn’t want to go there anymore, so he gave it to me…
Xia Yan: That week just happens to be a pairs’ challenge – would you be interested?
MC: What’s the theme?
Xia Yan: It’s trendy culture, and I heard that they prepared a lot of things for this topic. Want to go try?
MC: Sure, let’s go together.
In the few days after, as long as I thought about participating in a show with Xia Yan, I couldn’t help feeling somewhat nervous.
Finally, it was the day of filming.
--
Clothing Store
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MC: Xia Yan, are you not done yet?
Xia Yan: Almost, almost…
MC: You’ve already been in there for ten minutes. Are the clothes hard to put on?
Xia Yan: Ugh, this headband is a little hard to handle.
MC: Then I’ll help you put it on.
Speaking thus, I got up and walked towards the fitting room.
Xia Yan: Ah, no need, no need!
Xia Yan pulled the fitting room’s curtain tightly.
Xia Yan: Uh… I feel like… this outfit doesn’t really suit me, so I should probably change!
Rustling sounds came from inside the fitting room.
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MC: Let me see! If you don’t come out, I’m going to lift the curtain!
I faked an act to scare Xia Yan. Sure enough, hearing me say this, the sounds of movement from the fitting room stopped, and the curtain was slowly pulled open.
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Xia Yan: Ugh…
MC: …
Back during school, Xia Yan always wore school uniforms, and the clothes he wore now were mostly casualwear. Speaking of which, this was my first time seeing him wear hip-hop style clothing. The bright symbols didn’t feel over-the-top; instead, it added a free, confident youthful vibe for him.
Xia Yan: This outfit… is it… too gaudy?
MC: …
Xia Yan: You’re not even talking… looks like it really does look bad. I should go change it.
MC: Don’t change it! It looks great, of course it looks great!
Seeing Xia Yan walk towards the fitting room, I grabbed onto him.
Xia Yan: For real?
MC: Of course – you look super cool!
Xia Yan: …
Xia Yan: Wait, why haven’t you changed yet?
Xia Yan: Do you think the clothes I picked for you look bad?
MC: How could that be? I’ll go change now, wait for me!
Xia Yan: Go ahead – after changing, we’ll officially start the challenge.
In fact, Xia Yan and I were already in the middle of filming. We were changing clothes at this store due to the show’s requirements.
--
[Flashback]
Filming Studio
Host: The theme this time is trendy culture. The topics that can be drawn are different, and the contents of the challenge are also different.
Host: Next, could the guests please come onstage to draw topics?
I followed everyone towards the stage and drew an envelope out of the box. When I flipped it, I saw a word written in large font on the envelope – skateboard.
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MC: (It actually ended up being skateboarding…)
Host: Alright, could everyone now open your envelopes and read the details of the topics?
Hearing the host’s words, I rushed to open the envelope and take out the topic inside.
MC: Search for the mysterious skateboard?
MC: Looks like we have to find various components of the skateboard, then assemble them.
Xia Yan: Let me see…
Xia Yan took the mission card from the envelope, looking it over in detail. According to the instructions on the mission card, the components of the skateboard were scattered in different places on the commerce street, guarded by NPCs. Our mission was to find the NPCs, complete various tests, collect the skateboard components, and assemble them.
Host: The mission locations are at the pedestrian commerce area outside. Please finish them as soon as possible.
Host: The program team will keep track of each team’s time, and rank everyone based on completion time.
Host: If you have not completed it beyond three hours, it’s counted as a failure.
After finishing her explanation of the rules, the host gave a slight smile to everyone.
Host: Alright, after you have prepared, you can set out.
Host: Before the game starts, you can all choose a trendy culture-themed outfit at the clothes store.
[Flashback end]
--
After regaining my train of thought, I rushed to put on the clothes and pull aside the curtain, then walked in front of Xia Yan. However, as I turned in several slow circles, Xia Yan kept his eyes on his phone the whole time.
MC: Xia Yan, why do you keep staring at your phone!
MC: You’re not even giving me your opinion… does it look good or not!
Xia Yan: …
Xia Yan: It looks great, of course! You look great no matter what you wear.
MC: Really? Why do I feel like you’re… being a little perfunctory?
Xia Yan: It’s not perfunctory, they’re all my sincere thoughts!
Xia Yan rushed to shove his phone back into his pocket.
Xia Yan: I just received a message and didn’t notice, sorry.
MC: Is it an important message?
Xia Yan: It’s nothing urgent.
Xia Yan stood up, walked around me in a circle, carefully looking over the clothes I was wearing.
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Xia Yan: Inspection complete. It really suits you, so let’s go with it!
Xia Yan: Looks like my eye is getting better and better.
MC: Pfft…
MC: Right, Xia Yan, I haven’t asked you yet – when did you learn to skateboard?
MC: I definitely remember that you hadn’t learned to skateboard before.
--
[Flashback]
Near the School Grounds
During middle school, Xia Yan wanted to learn to skateboard, but the school prohibited students from doing dangerous activities like this.
School Dean: Young man in front, get over here!
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Xia Yan: Crap!
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MC: I’ll cover for you, run!
Xia Yan planted a foot on the skateboard, kicked off the ground quickly, and disappeared past a corner within seconds.
School Dean: You-! Which class did that boy come from?
MC: I don’t know. I also just passed by, and I’d wanted to persuade him to stay away from these dangerous activities.
Xia Yan: Oww!
The sound of something falling sounded from far away, followed by Xia Yan’s pained shout.
MC: Xia Yan!
Since he left in a rush, Xia Yan, who was not yet familiar with the skateboard, fell heavily down from the stairs.
[Flashback end]
MC: After falling that time, didn’t you not ride the skateboard ever again?
MC: When did you secretly learn it again?
Xia Yan: Uh… that time was just an accident because I ran off too quickly. Afterwards, I was very careful.
MC: So you really were doing it secretly…
Xia Yan: Just a few times. I didn’t say it because I was afraid you’d worry.
MC: Really?
Xia Yan: It really was just a few times. Think about it, weren’t we together all day?
Smiling, Xia Yan changed the topic.
Xia Yan: I actually truly learned the skateboard after going to the Ministry of National Security.
Xia Yan: The teacher who took me in back then really liked skateboarding, and I learned from him.
Xia Yan: There was very little time to relax in the Ministry, but whenever there was time, I would skateboard with my teacher.
Xia Yan: When I was little, I was only concerned about looking cool and rushed too much. After learning the basics from my teacher, I wasn’t scared of getting hurt anymore.
MC: Alright alright, I won’t look into the things you’ve hidden from me.
MC: You can’t be like this in the future. You have to tell me if anything comes up!
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Xia Yan: …
MC: Could it be that you’re hiding other things from me?
    Part 2
MC: Could it be that you’re hiding other things from me?
Xia Yan: I’m not.
Xia Yan: Alright, it’s about time, so let’s hurry out.
Hearing Xia Yan say this, I took out the mission card given by the program team from my pocket.
MC: We have a total of four components to find – the board, bracket, bearings, and wheels respectively.
MC: Although, where should we start?
Xia Yan: There’s a clue on here, right?
Xia Yan pointed to a sentence on the mission card.
Xia Yan: “One cunning and one foolish” – this should be the clue.
MC: Does this mean we have to find two NPCs, one smart and one dumb?
Xia Yan: Shouldn’t be, I feel like this sentence seems more like a riddle.
If it’s a riddle…
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>The answer is a word >The answer is a term
MC: The answer should be a term, and “cunning” and “foolish” represent one word each.
Xia Yan: But what word does “cunning” refer to?
MC: Cunning… crafty… foolish… inflexible…
MC: I got it!
MC: Cunning refers to “skate”, and foolish refers to “inflexible”, which is “board”.
MC: When joined together, they form the term “skateboard”.
Note: 狡诈 = Cunning; 狡猾 = Crafty; these are synonyms (or near synonyms) that have the same first character; the second character of “crafty” sounds the same as and looks similar to 滑, which makes the first character of “skateboard” in Chinese.  
呆 = Foolish; 呆板 = Inflexible; the term for inflexible includes the term for foolish, and the other part, 板, is the second character of “skateboard” in Chinese.
Also note that skateboard in Chinese is made of two characters, rather than one (hence why the answer is a term, not a word)
I do think that this riddle is a bit of a stretch though haha
Xia Yan: If the answer is “skateboard” … then let’s go ask at the skateboard shop.
--
Skateboard Shop
As soon as we entered the skateboard shop, Xia Yan and I saw another team of guests. They were surrounding the staff member, wanting to ask for some information.
Guest A: You really aren’t an NPC from the program team? You really don’t know what this sentence means?
Guest B: We’ve already asked all around. This is the only skateboard shop on the commerce street, so it has to be this place.
Shop Staff: My apologies, sirs, I really do not know what that sentence means. Please do not impede my work anymore.
Guest A: Alright, sorry about that.
The two gave up struggling. When they saw Xia Yan and I come in, they sighed helplessly.
Guest A: Don’t waste your energy. That person isn’t an NPC; we’ve already asked.
After speaking to us, the two left the skateboard shop dispiritedly.
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MC: What do we do now? We guessed wrong…
Xia Yan: Not necessarily.
Xia Yan: She only said that she didn’t know what the sentence meant, but she never denied that she was an NPC of the program team.
Smiling, Xia Yan walked up to the staff member, took out the mission card, and pointed to the riddle on it.
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Xia Yan: We already know what this sentence means. This is a riddle, and its answer is “skateboard”.
Xia Yan: This is the only skateboard shop on the street, so you should be an NPC of the program team.
Hearing Xia Yan speak, the staff member smiled slightly.
Shop Staff: Congrats on solving the riddle and successfully passing the first stage.
Shop Staff: This is the skateboard’s bracket; please hold onto it.
MC: Awesome, Xia Yan, we got it right.
Xia Yan: Then do you have the clue for the second stage here?
Shop Staff: If you want the second clue, the two of you need to do a little challenge.
Xia Yan: Sure, what challenge? Bring it on.
Seeing Xia Yan’s determined expression, the shop staff took out a little plate, grinning.
Shop Staff: It’s nothing difficult; the two of you just need to eat two spicy peppers raw to get the next clue.
Xia Yan: W-what?
Xia Yan’s smile stiffened instantly. Seeing this, the cameraman followed up quietly, pointing the camera at Xia Yan.
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Xia Yan: Ah, this… uh…
The peppers were bright red, and a single glance would tell you that they were very spicy.
MC: (Even someone who can handle spice probably wouldn’t be able to endure this test.)
Xia Yan closed his eyes, held his breath, took a pepper, then stuffed it in his mouth. After chewing quickly twice, he rushed to swallow the pepper down.
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A mere few seconds after, Xia Yan’s eyes widened, and he opened his mouth, inhaling deeply.
MC: Xia Yan, are you okay?
Xia Yan: Water… water! Quick, give me water!
Luckily, the program team had prepared in advance. I rushed to hand a glass of water to Xia Yan. He swallowed the water noisily, and even his eyes had reddened from the spice, tears at the corners of his eyes.
MC: (I can’t let Xia Yan suffer alone, so I’ll do it too!)
I grabbed the second pepper and stuffed it in my mouth. The agonizing taste spread in my mouth, and I speedily swallowed the pepper.
Xia Yan: Ah! Haa…. Don’t eat it! Haa…
Right after swallowing the pepper, a mere few seconds later, a burning hot spiciness rushed at me, filling my mouth with pain.
MC: So spicy! Water! Water!
MC: This is way too spicy!
Xia Yan: Haa… here, water… haa…
Unable to pay attention to how I appeared in front of the camera, I took the water and drank it down noisily.
--
After ten entire minutes, Xia Yan’s and my tongues finally recovered.
MC: So much hassle just to get this clue.
Xia Yan: Miss, you can give us the second clue now, right?
Shop Staff: Indeed I can.
The staff member took out a little paper slip and handed it to Xia Yan.
Xia Yan: “Seems to be but is not; search for the origin.”
MC: Looks like it’s a riddle again. I wonder what it means?
MC: Origin… does that mean the originating point? Could it have to do with the materials that make the skateboard?
After not hearing an answer from Xia Yan, I looked up, wondering. Xia Yan wasn’t looking at the paper slip; instead, he was staring at the product shelves, thinking about something.
MC: Xia Yan, Xia Yan?
Xia Yan: Ah, sorry, I just got distracted…
MC: Is there something you want to buy?
Xia Yan: No, I just felt like there was someone over there just now.
MC: Probably the cameraman from the program team; don’t they have to take some other shots?
Xia Yan: I feel like there’s someone who’s been watching us the whole time.
Xia Yan: Although, since we’re filming a variety show, people watching out of curiosity is also normal.
Xia Yan: Let’s go, we’ll think about this new riddle on the way.
MC: Sure.
   Part 3
Commerce Street
After walking aimlessly on the road for a while, I felt faintly unsettled from seeing Xia Yan’s expression. He didn’t seem like he was thinking seriously about the answer to the riddle – instead, he kept scanning the people on the road.
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MC: Xia Yan, I feel like you’ve been a bit absentminded ever since the beginning.
MC: What did you see? What’s the matter?
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Xia Yan: It’s nothing…
MC: …
Xia Yan must be hiding something from me. But we had microphones on us right now and were surrounded by the program team staff, so I couldn’t just ask him.
Seeing my concern, Xia Yan gently touched the microphone, then winked.
Xia Yan: Let’s rest up ahead first.
MC: (Is he hinting that he’ll use other methods to tell me?)
We found a drinks shop by the road and scanned the menu code on our phones. Just as I was browsing the menu, contact notifications popped up.
--
[Phone Interface]
[Xia Yan]: It seems like I offended someone when investigating a case before. I received a text when trying clothes on earlier.
[Xia Yan]: The text told me to be careful, and he’d let me know how one “ends up when sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong”.
[Xia Yan]: Though I don’t know if they’re just trying to scare me or if they’re serious, it’s still better to be careful.
[MC]: Did they bring up the show filming today?
[Xia Yan]: No, though I’m a little worried.
[Xia Yan]: There are lots of people here, and I can’t tell if anyone with bad intentions might have mixed in.
[MC]: Okay, I got it.
[MC]: I’ll help you keep an eye out on the surroundings. You be careful too.
--
MC: …
So Xia Yan’s unusual expression just now was because of this. I relaxed the expression on my face, ordering a drink as if nothing were up.
MC: Let’s hurry and think about that riddle.
MC: Search for the origin… what does that refer to?
MC: Is there some special story associated with the origin of the skateboard?
Xia Yan: Hm… I’m not too clear on this either. I’ve only heard that skateboarding is an extension of surfing.
Xia Yan: Apparently, people living on the seaside were the ones to invent the first skateboard, to not be limited by geography or climate, and to enjoy the feeling of surfing.
MC: Could it have to do with surfing?
I turned on my phone and sure enough, I was able to find a surfing equipment shop.
Xia Yan: Who would’ve thought that there really would be a surfing equipment shop here…
Xia Yan: Then let’s go see.
--
Surfing Equipment Shop
Xia Yan: Surfing is the origin of skateboarding, and the surfboard and skateboard also have similar aspects.
Xia Yan: So the answer to “Seems to be but is not; search for the origin” is this place, right?
Shop Owner: I didn’t think that you two would be able to get here this quickly.
Shop Owner: You’re the first team that drew skateboarding to get here.
Shop Owner: You can get the board and sandpaper here.
The shop owner thus handed the items to us.
Shop Owner: If you’d like, you can assemble the components you’ve gotten first.
Xia Yan: It’s inconvenient carrying the sandpaper around, so let’s just assemble it here.
MC: Sure.
Xia Yan: Then can you also provide us things like screws and washers?
Shop Owner: Hahaha, of course. You two won’t need to waste energy searching for those.
After getting the materials, Xia Yan tugged me down to sit and started to assemble the skateboard.
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MC: You really are familiar with this.
Xia Yan: Yeah, because I’ve always disassembled and reassembled my skateboard myself.
Xia Yan: To me, the skateboard is just like a partner.
Xia Yan stared seriously at the skateboard, twisting the wrench in his hand.
Xia Yan: Did you know – each skateboard gives everyone a different feeling, and each one is special.
Xia Yan: The tightness of the brackets, the size and hardness of the wheels, the material of the board – all of these will give a different feeling for each person.
I gazed quietly at Xia Yan. His eyes were shining, flashing with the light of excitement. Hearing him speak, it felt as if the skateboard in my hands had a life.
MC: Xia Yan, why do you like skateboarding this much?
MC: Is it because of the stimulation from fast movement?
He stopped the movements of his hands and thought for a moment. Then slowly opened his mouth.
Xia Yan: It isn’t that, or you could say that it isn’t just that.
Xia Yan: As an extreme sport, skateboarding can be mentally stimulating, but compared to my line of work, it’s not really worth mentioning.
Xia Yan: I still like skateboarding because it lets me continue to challenge myself and break past my limits.
Xia Yan: After completing a challenge, the joy of achievement is what has me most fascinated.
I had never ridden a skateboard, and I hadn’t personally experienced the emotions Xia Yan had towards skateboarding. But seeing him look like he liked it this much, my emotions felt somewhat complicated…
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MC: Xia Yan, when we were little, mom and dad didn’t let you skateboard, and I didn’t support you for it…
MC: Do you blame us?
Hearing me speak, Xia Yan was somewhat surprised.
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Xia Yan: Blame you? What for?
MC: Because we didn’t understand you…
Xia Yan: I don’t – I wouldn’t blame uncle and auntie, and I definitely wouldn’t blame you.
Xia Yan: Uncle and auntie wanted me to grow healthily, and you didn’t want a repeat of the past – it was all for my own good.
Xia Yan: Everyone has their own selfishness, especially towards those who are the most important to them.
Xia Yan’s voice got lower and lower, and I seemed to hear a faint whisper.
Xia Yan: I’m like that too…
Before I could ask him about it, Xia Yan’s hands stopped moving as he smiled.
Xia Yan: Alright, it’s done. Now only the wheels and bearings are left.
Xia Yan: Boss, do you have the next riddle clue?
Seeing us about to leave, the boss took out a sheet of paper and handed it to us.
Xia Yan: Let me see… A car carries seven people, and twenty-eight people return home…
Sure enough, yet another riddle.
Xia Yan: Should be a word riddle… a car with seven people on it…
MC: Ah, I get it! The answer is “wheel”.
Xia Yan: Makes sense, so the twenty-eight people refer to the four wheels?
Note: The Chinese character for wheel is 轮, which is visually made of three different characters, 车 (car), 人 (person), and 七 (seven). If there are 7 people per wheel, and 28 people total, this means there are 4 wheels.
MC: Then “return home” should refer to where the tires are…
Xia Yan: “Return home”… or we can take it to mean “the place of the very beginning”?
MC: Does it refer to that studio where we started filming the show?
Xia Yan: Possibly, but it might also be the first place where we found the clue.
MC: That skateboard shop?
Xia Yan: Yeah, it said in the mission card that the locations to finish the missions are on this commerce street, but the studio is some distance away from here.
MC: So the location should be the first store we entered after arriving on the commerce street, or the place where we found the first clue.
MC: Although the program team wouldn’t know where we’d go first, so it’s more likely to be the skateboard shop.
Xia Yan: Yep, that’s right.
MC: Then let’s go check out the skateboard shop again.
--
Skateboard Shop
We changed direction and headed back to that skateboard shop. Seeing that we had returned, the store staff was a little curious.
Shop Staff: Why did you come back? Did you leave something behind?
Xia Yan: Yeah, we left “something” behind.
Xia Yan displayed the clue in his hand, pointing to the words on it.
Xia Yan: A car carries seven people, and twenty-eight people return home. The answer to this riddle is this store, right?
Shop Staff: Correct, the answer is indeed this place.
Seeing that Xia Yan and I had already found the answer, the shop staff no longer concealed anything, taking out four wheels from the shelves.
Shop Staff: Here, take it.
MC: Awesome, Xia Yan, now all that’s left is…
MC: Ah…
Suddenly, a massive force pulled me backwards.
Xia Yan: Careful!
MC: Xia Yan?
Xia Yan’s brows drew closely together, switching positions with me in what was nearly an instant, blocking me from the front. Only then did I realize that someone was running straight towards us. He was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses, and a single glance could tell you that he came with ill intent.
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Xia Yan: Who are you?
If Xia Yan hadn’t pulled me back just now, that guy would have made it in front of me by now. When I remembered the message Xia Yan sent me earlier, my heart jumped up to my throat.
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MC: (Is it someone who came to get revenge on Xia Yan?)
MC: (Xia Yan thought someone was watching us before. Could it be him? Was he following us the whole time?)
???: Ow!
Before I could react, Xia Yan swept a leg out, knocking the guy down to the ground.
???: Heeey! W-wait! You can’t just hit me!
???: This is different from what was promised!
Xia Yan: ???
Seeing that Xia Yan had stopped, the man propped himself up into a sitting position, then speedily shifted backwards. After he had escaped beyond five metres, he cleared his throat again, rambling some “fierce words”.
???: If you… got the skill, then… have a showdown with me!
Xia Yan: …
MC: …
Hearing this, Xia Yan and I had completely frozen where we were. The man sitting on the ground had also gotten up, taking advantage of this to snatch the wheels in Xia Yan’s hands.
???: I… I’m taking the wheels. If… if you want to take them back, then find me at the park!
???: Remember, it’s the park behind the commerce street!
After speaking, he sprinted out of the shop door, holding the wheels.
   Part 4
If you asked me what the most awkward experience of my entire life was, I bet it would be this moment. It was obvious that the guy who’d just come was an NPC arranged by the program team, yet Xia Yan and I took him to be a dangerous hoodlum and knocked him down.
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Xia Yan: So it was someone arranged by the program team…
Xia Yan: And I was just making a big deal out of nothing.
Shop Staff: Sir, isn’t your desire to protect a little too strong?
Seeing that the shop staff, who didn’t know about the whole situation, trying to hold in her laughter, I felt so awkward that my toes could pretty much dig into the ground.
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MC: …
Xia Yan: I’m really sorry…
Xia Yan turned around, apologizing to the program team staff. But the director said nothing, holding up a sign in his hand, which had writing on it:
Continue!
Xia Yan: Ahem ahem… then let’s hurry and find him.
MC: Okay, let’s use our ability to get the wheels back.
--
Park
After adjusting our mentalities, Xia Yan and I arrived at the skateboard park behind the commerce street. The man we’d run into at the shop just now was holding a skateboard, waiting for us in the middle of the square. Beside his foot were several skateboards of different styles and some protective gear.
Director: This is the special guest we invited for the show. He’s a professional skateboarder and has won quite a few awards.
Xia Yan: I’m really sorry about just now…
Skateboarder Young Man: No problem, no problem… I’ve fallen a lot while skateboarding, and I’ve long gotten used to it.
After a simple greeting, the man in front of us cleared his throat, reciting the show script given to him.
Skateboarder Young Man: You two have finally arrived.
Skateboarder Young Man: If you want to get the wheels back, then bring on your true skill!
Xia Yan: Then tell us, what do we need to do for you to return the wheels to us?
Skateboarder Young Man: See this racecourse? You two have to ride to the endpoint together.
Skateboarder Young Man: No worries if you go a little slowly, but if you fall off the skateboard midway, you’ll have to start over.
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MC: They… want me to skateboard?
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Xia Yan: Sure, no problem.
Seeing my shocked expression, Xia Yan circled his arm around my shoulders with a smile, patting me gently.
Xia Yan: No problem, we still have two hours, which is enough for me to teach you now.
I looked at the racecourse before us. It was around two hundred metres in distance, there were obstacles on the straight path, and there were around four or five turns. The worst was a row of barricade poles near the endpoint…
MC: This is…
Skateboarder Young Man: Barricade poles. You must use a Hippy Jump to jump over them.
MC: Hippy Jump?
Xia Yan: It’s a term for a skateboarding move, meaning that you jump up from the skateboard, then fall back onto the skateboard while riding.
MC: ???
MC: I don’t even know how to skateboard, yet they also need me to… jump?
Xia Yan: It’s fine, we can definitely do this. I’ll teach you how to skateboard first.
Xia Yan borrowed two skateboards from the program team and helped me put on various sorts of protective gear.
Xia Yan: Here, put your left foot on the skateboard first, and put your center of gravity on the left foot…
I carefully followed Xia Yan’s directions, planting my foot on the skateboard.
Xia Yan: Then put your right foot on, stand stably and get a feel of it.
MC: Okay.
Seeing that my feet were placed horizontally on the skateboard, Xia Yan gently let go.
Xia Yan: Great, keep the skateboard horizontal. Don’t push down with your heel.
This was my first time standing without support on the skateboard. Though I wasn’t moving, my legs still couldn’t help trembling. The skateboard wasn’t as stable as I’d imagined – the board was prone to movement, and with my wobbliness, it also rolled from left to right.
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MC: Aaah!
I didn’t know why, but Xia Yan’s miserable fall during school replayed over and over in my head, making me more and more nervous. All the muscles in my body tightened, and I tried my best to maintain balance.
Xia Yan: Don’t be nervous, relax… relax…
Xia Yan: You don’t have to tighten up this much. I won’t let you fall.
Under Xia Yan’s consolation, I heaved a deep breath, then gradually straightened my body. Sure enough, when my legs stopped trembling, so did the board.
Xia Yan: Now, let’s try moving.
Xia Yan: Put your forward foot where the truck bolt is, slowly kick at the ground, and then follow up with the back foot.
Xia Yan: You have to fix the center of gravity on the left foot. Don’t be afraid.
Xia Yan opened his hands on my sides, as if he could grab onto me, no matter what pose I fell in. With him standing beside me, I felt filled with limitless courage. Following his instructions, I lightly kicked at the ground with my right foot. The skateboard rolled forward crookedly, and I gritted my teeth, quickly moving my back foot onto the board.
MC: Ah…
I spread my hands, trying to maintain balance.
Xia Yan: Straighten your front foot. That’s right, just like that, you got it!
The skateboard rolled forward, slow as a snail – but no matter what, I had successfully overcome my mental obstacles.
For the next hour, I repeatedly practiced skateboarding, as well as learned some simple turns under Xia Yan’s instruction. With half an hour left to go before the mission ended, I decided to end training and officially take on the challenge.
Skateboarder Young Man: Ready to go? Ready, start…
I heaved a deep breath, stepped onto the skateboard, and started to move.
Xia Yan: Awesome, here I go.
Seeing me stabilize myself, Xia Yan caught up from behind. He held onto my hand, spurring me forward at a faster speed.
Xia Yan: How does it feel?
Two skateboards, one in front and one behind, moved forward at breakneck speed. I held tightly onto his hand. A slight summer breeze blew at the hairs around my ears, bringing a sliver of warmth amid the coolness.
MC: Pretty decent.
Xia Yan: Push down lightly with your toes. We’re about to get through the first turn.
MC: Okay.
The turn was right before us, and the flowerbeds on the roadside looked like they were rushing at me.
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MC: (Relax, I have to trust Xia Yan… and trust myself!)
As I maintained my balance, my toes pushed down on one side of the board. The board started to turn, but the arc of movement couldn’t keep up with the curvature of the path.
MC: (I have to get past!)
I couldn’t help squinting my eyes and holding my breath. As if the skateboard had heard my prayers, it slowly changed directions, and the shrubbery in front of me also gradually got further.
MC: Xia Yan, I did it!
Xia Yan: I said so already – you can definitely do this.
My heart beat wildly, but I knew that it wasn’t because of fear – instead, it was because of excitement. Right then, I understood why Xia Yan loved skateboarding so much, refusing to give up even if he fell and got hurt. Extreme sports were not only a source of excitement and stimulation, but there was also the sense of accomplishment after conquering yourself.
MC: (We’ve gotten past four turns. Next up, there’s…)
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Xia Yan: Do you trust me?
MC: ???
Xia Yan: No, I should say, do you trust in yourself to jump over the barricade poles?
Xia Yan turned around and looked at me, his eyes full of anticipation and encouragement.
Do I trust in myself? As a newbie, it was really hard for me to say. But…
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MC: Xia Yan, I trust you.
Seeing my certain expression, the corners of his mouth pulled up slightly.
Xia Yan: When you hear me say “Jump” in a moment, jump upwards.
Xia Yan: Don’t jump forward or backwards, just straight upwards. Then, raise your knees high.
Xia Yan: And leave the rest to me.
As we spoke, the barricade poles got closer and closer to me.
Was jumping up from the skateboard really something I could do? Though they were only 30 centimeters high, I might fall from jumping if I’m not careful…
A thin layer of sweat formed on my hand, and I started to feel a chill at my fingertips.
Xia Yan: Right now, jump!
Xia Yan and I let go of our tightly held hands simultaneously, and I followed Xia Yan’s instructions, lifting my knees as I jumped.
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The feeling of flying through the air left me without the feeling of safety, and my heart beat furiously. I shut my eyes tightly in anxiety.
Suddenly, a strong arm clasped around my waist, and an external force pulled me upwards. With a clunk, my feet fell back onto the skateboard.
MC: Ah—
Xia Yan: Don’t be afraid.
Xia Yan: You’ve already done very well. Just leave the rest to me.
Xia Yan’s gentle voice sounded by my ear. He maneuvered my skateboard with one foot, with one hand supporting my backwards-leaning waist.
MC: …
Our poses right now looked very much like embracing dancers.
I lifted my head. Xia Yan’s face was as close as could be, such that I could even feel his breath. The hairs in front of his forehead entangled, and I could smell the fragrance of his shampoo, fresh and clean.
Xia Yan: Look, we did it!
With the sound of the timer’s ring, Xia Yan and I rushed past the yellow finish line.
  Part 5
Skateboarder Young Man: Wow, you two really are impressive.
MC: Ahem ahem…
Xia Yan: …
Hearing the man’s teasing, Xia Yan retracted the arm he’d encircled around me.
Xia Yan: Alright, you can return the wheels to us now.
Skateboarder Young Man: I didn’t say that there’s only one part to this challenge.
The man shrugged, looking at us like he was waiting to watch something interesting.
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MC: What? But now… there’s only half an hour until the mission ends.
Set up by the program team again as we were, I couldn’t help feeling somewhat frustrated. Seeing my expression, the skateboarder man shrugged.
Skateboarder Young Man: Plus, two teams have already finished the mission.
Skateboarder Young Man: If you two don’t hurry, you won’t be able to rank.
Skateboarder Young Man: Although, it can’t be helped – sucks that you guys drew skateboarding. That’s the hardest topic, after all.
Xia Yan pinched my hand on the side, giving me a meaningful look.
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Xia Yan: Then how many tasks are there after this?
Skateboarder Young Man: There are still ten moves after this. Both of you have to try five types of obstacles.
Skateboarder Young Man: But between the two of you, you only need to successfully do six of them for me to give the tires to you. It shouldn’t be a big deal with this guy’s skills.
Skateboarder Young Man: Though you won’t be able to rank, finishing the mission in time can be considered passing with minimum grades.
That was true – getting the wheels and finishing the mission within limited time wasn’t difficult.
Xia Yan: Minimum grades? Ever since I was little, I have never handed in an answer sheet that only met minimum grade.
Xia Yan: If you’re a prizewinning skateboarder, would you dare to compete with me?
Skateboarder Young Man: Compete? Why wouldn’t I dare? What do you want to compete over?
Xia Yan: With these ten movements, I can finish them faster, jump higher, and do them with better posture than you.
Skateboarder Young Man: Dude, maybe your skateboarding is impressive compared to normal people, but I’m a professional skateboarder.
Xia Yan: If you don’t try, how can you be sure that I’ll lose to you?
With an expression that could pass for a smile or a level expression, Xia Yan looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
Xia Yan: If I win, you’ll give the wheels straight to us without needing her to try.
Xia Yan: If I lose, our challenge will change from ten to twenty, and we’ll have to successfully do them all to get the tires.
Xia Yan: How about it?
The man in front of us also looked eager, but as a program guest, he couldn’t change the rules without authorization. Right then, the director following us on the side spoke.
Director: Sure, then let’s change the rules so you two can compete.
Director: This way, the show will be more interesting!
--
Thus, Xia Yan and the skateboarder started the competition. The racecourse this time was a harder one – not only were there different sorts of obstacles, but there were also half-pipes – heaven for skateboarding enthusiasts. Seeing that the two were going to compete here, the enthusiasts got out of the grounds, excitedly watching from the side.
Whoosh – Xia Yan and the skateboarder sped past me. According to the agreed-upon rules, they had to circle the track twice, during which they had to use ten different moves. The first to arrive at the end would be the winner of this race. The first circle had already finished, and their speeds were about the same, though Xia Yan was leading.
MC: Xia Yan, do your best!
Skateboarding Young Man: Hah, is that all you’ve got?
The man laughed disdainfully, springing up at a turn, jumping onto the railings with his feet planted on the board. His skateboard stayed stably on the railings, sliding down the handrails. He swayed twice, stabilized his body, and continued to speed forward after landing back on the ground.
MC: He’s already finished ten moves, and even used the moves to take a shortcut…
As expected of a competition-winning skateboarder – he could use anything on the path. Meanwhile, Xia Yan still had two moves left to go, and the distance between them was widening.
Skateboarding Young Man: Sorry, the result’s determined – you’re going to lose.
Xia Yan: That’s not for sure.
Xia Yan’s foot pushed off forcefully from the ground as he lowered his centre of gravity, seeming like he was about to make some move.
MC: Up front is…
MC: Xia Yan, careful!
There was a deep pit in the middle of the grounds. Unlike before, when he opted for stable paths, he rushed down the half-pipe. The skateboard sped downwards, then shot up along the upwards slope.
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Right then, Xia Yan flew up into the air from inertia.
Xia Yan: Just watch me.
MC: …
This scene looked like a stunning artscroll, unforgettable even from a single glance. Amid the azure skies, Xia Yan looked like an eagle with wings spread, soaring into the sky. His extended arms were like wings that sought freedom, as if he would rush into the sky if given a chance. Right then, everyone and everything around me retreated from the stage. My eyes were fixed solely on him.
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MC: (Xia Yan… really is amazing.)
The people all around all gasped in amazement, making the skateboarder young man look towards Xia Yan.
Skateboarder Young Man: What?! How could this be…
After the skateboard flipped several times midair, Xia Yan’s foot fell back onto the skateboard. He rushed from the other side of the pit back onto the racecourse, leaving his opponent behind.
Xia Yan: This time, it’s my turn to take a shortcut.
His soft hair fluttered in the summer breeze, a sliver of unruliness on his face, his eyes dazzling.
Xia Yan: As long as one hasn’t arrived at the end yet, there is no such thing as a so-called foregone conclusion in life.
Xia Yan winked at me, leaping down from the ladder on the side of the racecourse.
With a clunk, he dropped stably onto the ground, rushing towards the end.
Xia Yan: Sorry, I win this time.
With ten high-difficulty moves complete, Xia Yan arrived at the end first.
And so, this competition drew to an end.
--
MC: Awesome, we won!
When I saw the race end, I happily ran towards Xia Yan.
Director: Quick, follow with the camera!
Director: Did you catch that shot of him flying up from the slope? That part was absolutely magnificent!
The intense competition seemed to have left Xia Yan somewhat exhausted. He wiped his sweat, wanting to find a place to sit and rest. I got a bottle of water from a staff member, planning to hand it to him. Right then, the cameraman and several staff members walked over, getting near him.
Suddenly, a dazzling light passed before me.
MC: Huh? What’s that?
I took a careful look. One of the field staff was the source of the dazzling light, which came from the opening of his sleeve.
When I saw the thing in his sleeve, cold sweat formed on my back.  
That was a knife!
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MC: Xia Yan, watch out!
  Part 6          
When I made out the thing in that person’s hand, my heart leapt up.
MC: Xia Yan, watch out!
When that person heard me, he looked back at me, then straight-up took the small knife out of his sleeve and rushed at Xia Yan.
MC: Crap!
MC: (What do I do?)
Driven by urgency, I snatched the skateboard beside me, throwing it towards the person.
Clonk—
Field Staff: Ah!!!
Caught off-guard by the wooden skateboard striking him, the man staggered. With his sneak attack stopped by me, the man in front of me rushed at me furiously.
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Xia Yan: So it was you.
With a cold, short laugh, Xia Yan rushed forward, kicking the knife out of his hand. Before the man could react, Xia Yan caught his hand, restraining him onto the ground.
Field Staff: Let me go! Why did you damn detective have to stick your nose where it doesn’t belong!
Xia Yan: Hah, paying for murder with a lifetime. I merely made your father’s crimes known to the masses.
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Xia Yan: Good thing you did not hurt her – otherwise, you would regret it.
Xia Yan looked frigidly at the person on the ground, then paid no more attention to him.
Xia Yan: Call the police.
The program team staff had been shocked frozen by the scene before them, only regaining their senses when Xia Yan reminded them.
Director: Yes, call the police, quick!
The sudden interlude cut the show recording short, and the director apologized to us. Not long after, the police arrived. Xia Yan and I also went to the police station.
 --
Police Station
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Yan Wei: He confessed. It was indeed him that sent you the threatening messages and emails.
Yan Wei: He thought that it was all because of you that his father ended up in jail.
After Xia Yan and I finished with record-making, we happened to run into Yan Wei, who had just finished interrogation. He looked at Xia Yan, smiling helplessly.
Yan Wei: He suddenly went from an extravagant life as a young master to the son of a criminal. He couldn’t bear it and wanted to get revenge on you.
Xia Yan: I never would’ve thought that he’d be able to get into the program team.
Yan Wei: He hasn’t said how he got in – probably bribed the crew staff.
Yan Wei: Don’t worry, I’ll deal with this thoroughly. I won’t let him threaten your safety.
MC: Thank you for the trouble, Sergeant Yan.
Yan Wei: No need to be polite – it’s part of my work.
--
Park
After we left the police station, the program team director called us, saying that they’d tape the remaining portion another day. During the call, the director repeatedly apologized to us, saying that they would definitely do a strict audit of the identities of the production team members. He also promised that similar things would not happen again.
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Xia Yan: I never would’ve thought that he really would blame everything on me.
MC: Ugh… since we were in the middle of filming earlier, I didn’t have time to ask you.
MC: If I didn’t notice that something was off about you, were you not planning to tell me about the situation?
Xia Yan: It’s so rare for us to get out and have fun, and I didn’t want to sweep away your excitement.
Xia Yan: Not to mention that things happened so suddenly, and I wasn’t sure if it was a prank or if someone really was targeting me.
Xia Yan: So I didn’t tell you from the start.
I knew that, when faced with difficulty or danger, Xia Yan’s initial reaction was always to bear it himself. It had always been like this, ever since we were young.
--
[Flashback]
Near the School Grounds
MC: Xia Yan, so you were here.
Xia Yan: Ah… I…
Xia Yan’s foot had just stepped onto the skateboard when he saw me come over, and he hurried to retract it.
MC: When did you buy a skateboard?
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Xia Yan: I didn’t, I borrowed it from our classmates… don’t tell uncle and auntie.
MC: The older boy from the neighbors just fell and broke his bone a few days ago, yet you’re still willing to play?
Xia Yan: That’s why I don’t want you to tell uncle and auntie!
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MC: Then why did you hide it from me too?
Xia Yan: I didn’t do it on purpose – I wanted to show you after I learned to do it.
Xia Yan: You were the one to say that the older boy looked cool when he was skateboarding, after all…
MC: Really? I don’t even remember that…
Xia Yan: You… ugh…
Xia Yan: Either way, I borrowed a skateboard afterwards, wanting to learn, but you guys said that skateboarding was unsafe, and I was afraid you’d worry if I mentioned it.
Xia Yan: Rather than making you worry all day, I might as well… just not tell you.
MC: …
School Dean: Young man in front, get over here!
Xia Yan: Crap!
MC: I’ll cover for you, run!
[Flashback end]
--
Maybe it was because he worried for others too much, but Xia Yan always tended to hide lots of things inside.
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MC: Xia Yan, did you know – when you hide things from me, I get even more worried.
MC: When we were young and you fell while skateboarding and injured yourself, your foot had clearly swollen. Yet you bore it all yourself, saying that it was all fine.
MC: Until mom and dad finally noticed two days later and rushed to take you to the hospital.
Xia Yan: I know… back then, I thought if I just endured it, it would be fine. I didn’t think it would be that serious.
Xia Yan: I originally didn’t want to make you, uncle, and auntie worried, but I ended up causing trouble for everyone instead.
MC: After that, I always worried about if you were hiding anything else from me, bearing it all alone.
Just like today. Even though with Xia Yan’s skill, he still might not have been injured even if I didn’t notice…
But, what if?
During then, Xia Yan had just finished off an intense competition and was exhausted. What if someone was able to take advantage of this to hurt him?
When I thought this, I couldn’t help shivering, balling my hand into a fist.
MC: Fortunately, this time, you didn’t hide it from me the whole time.
MC: If I clearly could have helped you, yet I have to watch you get injured with my eyes wide open, then I will never be able to forgive myself.
I stepped forward, gently clasping onto Xia Yan’s hands. His warm hands were full of calluses, proof of what he had experienced during those eight years. In the past, I always felt that this pair of hands brought a feeling of infinite peace of mind, but now, I also felt a sliver of heartache and worry.
Xia Yan: I know.
Xia Yan held my hands back, his eyes filled with helplessness.
Xia Yan: That’s also why I told you everything in the end.
He gently twisted up my stray hairs, tucking them behind my ears.
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Xia Yan: Though I hope that all I bring you is happiness and joy, rather than unease and worry.
Xia Yan: But I know that people can’t stay away from all trouble, especially in NXX, where the road ahead will be difficult to traverse.
Xia Yan: So, I’ve decided. If the road ahead is fated to be covered in thorns, then I will grow with you by your side, no matter what comes at us, traversing this bumpy road fearlessly.
MC: Xia Yan…
Xia Yan: Was what I said a little foolish…
MC: You didn’t. I’m really happy that you’re finally willing to face trouble with me.
Xia Yan: Mhmm. In the future, if I encounter any unsolvable issues, I’ll tell you, and we’ll figure it out together.
MC: Okay, it’s a promise.
Xia Yan let out a long sigh, no longer discussing those slightly depressing topics.
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Xia Yan: Today’s challenge was pretty fun. My only regret was how they had to stop filming midway, so we couldn’t rank or get prizes.
MC: It’s fine – plus, I feel like the challenge wasn’t a failure.
MC: It’s precisely because of this ending that I feel like this was a worthwhile trip.
The summer night wind blew over the lake surface, the cool air dominating my senses.
I silently made a wish in my heart – I hoped that one day, I could become strong enough. I hoped that I could also protect Xia Yan, this eagle flying high with his wings spread, and his smile that was as warm as sunshine.
  Videocall
Good morning, got any plans today?
Why am I wearing this outfit? Because you said I looked good in it, so I bought it.
I also bought the outfit that you wore during filming.
Speaking of which, after the episode was broadcast, my colleagues laughed at me for a good while, saying that I looked hilarious when I was eating the chili peppers.
They even made me into a meme sticker and sent it into the Ministry group chat… even the teacher who taught me before started using it.
Revealing my identity? No need to worry about that, I reported it to the upper ranks before we went. And it’s exactly because of this that they watched the episode…
For the past few days, I checked out the comments… a lot of people were saying that we looked like a couple, dunno if you saw that…
Your colleagues and friends also said so? Then… do you feel troubled by it…
No? That’s good then. I actually feel like those shots were really well taken, and I rewatched it several times.
It really is great that we can use this sort of method to save good memories.
Right, the weather today’s pretty good, so do you wanna go out and skateboard? I can teach you to do some other things.
No protective gear? You don’t have to worry – I’ve got it all, gear and skateboards.
It might be a bit uncomfortable to wear the gear. If you haven’t gotten used to it, you don’t have to wear it. Either way, I’ll protect you.
With me here, I won’t let you fall, so just relax and leave yourself to me!
Then I’ll head for your house now, and I’ll also bring the clothes. See you soon.
46 notes · View notes
writingandmore · 3 years
Note
Hi!!! May I get a HP, Star Wars, Voltron, and Disney matchup?
𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗦 + 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘
19, Libra, Neutral Good, enneagram is 4w5, muggleborn Ravenclaw (with Gryffindor tendencies), and my patronus spirit is Hummingbird. Biromantic Pansexual Genderfluid woman using pronouns of She/Her or He/Him. Cherubic-like face, with short height (5'1") plus sized Southeast Asian woman with Spanish descent that has chic messy/wavy brunette medium hair that reaches to my shoulder, oriental skin, slightly upturned eyes, small lashes, chocolate brown irises, cute flat nose, heart shaped face, full cheeks, cupid's bow lips, a small beauty mark on the forehead, and naturally straight teeth with tiny gap in front (just imagine that it's a mixture of Marinette from 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗟𝗮𝗱𝘆𝗯𝘂𝗴, Musa from 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝘅 𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗯, and Alexandra Trese from 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲---cause' my friend told me that I kinda look like them). My sense of fashion is in between emo and boyish plus korean glam, I sometimes let my hair down or styled like Lara Croft reboot.
𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬
Distant, quiet, and timid at first making people thought I'm a demure, modest, and self-effacing that looks "immaculate" or "one of a kind" (due to my protective mom, a reason why I've never been in a relationship) but the truth is, dunno how to initiate a conversation, but a total opposite if I open up---friendly, ambivert, witty, laughing loudly on a daily basis---like my happiness is too shallow, super talkative, eats a lot (yeah I can finish a huge slice of cake or a meal in one sitting), awkward, daydreamer (I got embarrassed from knocking at the door even I'm inside the classroom 😂), EXTREMELY CLUMSY (mostly gets bruises from hitting, bumping my head somewhere, walking into something on my way, and being careless to my belongings), secretly likes affection, easily overwhelmed, prone to melt over wholesomeness, flusters on compliments, lightly blushes on cheesy banters, eager to share what I know (especially about Catholic Church---my past teacher joked that I'll become a saint because of it 🤣), oftenly speaks full of sarcasm with a lowkey crackhead energy citing meme references, and talented girl who can be your no.1 supporter and unashamed to be true to myself but can be awkward to strangers. In terms of leadership, I only educate and guide than being a prefect (I might take the role seriously), will lift my group when there's lacking/incompleteness. About doing projects in school, I become too extra and prepared for efforts, but I'll forget the process in the end.
The extent, I'm expressive, warm-hearted, willig to help, kind, intelligent, supportive, nice, creative, enthusiastic, laid-back, determined, tough, competitive, and feisty outside, but a real softie that can be childish and dramatic that cries so easily (but will enlightened real quick by smallest things that makes me smile) filled with doubts, frustrations, and insecurities with fear of failure that pushes off the limits to to please everyone because they might get dissappointed from expectations---I simply can't stop proving myself too much because I'm a survivor of bullying. But I still managed to be stronger than ever after I stumbled, even it's a slow burn process. I can be blunt, intimidating, harsh, and a douchebag if I receive ends or I got interrupted while doing something. Immature, headstrong, perfectionist, demanding, hesitant, jumpy, forgetful, overthinker, quick-tempered, sensitive, and anxious (no joke, my nervousness makes me think worse scenario will arrive). Though can be procrastinator and arrogant, I raised as a religious 𝖺𝗇𝖽 diplomatic youth, willing to fight what I believe (including my dreams and what's important to me) and what is right. In addition, I have a habit of staying up late and doing sign of the cross to ease nervousness.
Rowdy and feeling-brokenhearted and bitter friend in the group who fangirl a lot, swears like sailor, will call out on people that we loathe, will make fun of your stupidity (in a good way) before helping, and bring gossips, but a hopeless romantic and cheeky (makes banter with sarcasms or pick up lines as an endearment, but gets annoyed if I received sappy or offensive one), Still generous and concerned person in a subtle and different way.
𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦
My hobbies are singing, drawing, roleplaying, listening to music, chatting/browsing on social media, conceptualizing, writing, and reading some stuffs. I'll include making corniest jokes/puns, sleeping, and dancing when nobody's around or walking like a model if I feel so bold (even I'm terrible at both xD). I also used to learn Italian language a bit.
𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦
Loves kittens, milk tea, singing at the karaoke, cartoons, iced coffee, memes, cute things, watching YouTube videos (mostly pageants, ASMR, edit audios, and mukbangs), also enjoys playing games on my sister's PSP. Sucker for arts, choir, poetry, night sky, makeup, fun/deep/dumb conversations, Christianity, documentaries (about saints, real crime stories, and inspirational people), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and creative writing, chilling both indoors and outdoors. Beside that, my music taste are like late 90s-2000s songs (mostly rock, pop, and country) sometimes Catholic songs, kpop and ppop, chocoholic, and a sweetooth as well.
𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦
Things that I hate are stereotyping, HUGE creepy crawlies (spiders, toads, snakes, and cockroaches), firecracker sounds, thunder and lightning, being left out, loneliness, heart break, blackout, and judgemental people. If I found out that someone hates or backstabbing or being rude to me, I won't hesitate to throw offensive criticisms, leaving them with a "I don't give a f" attitude. One random fact about me is, I 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 vent out EVERYTHING I despise in my entire existence---from bad soap operas to toxicity, worse scenarios in real life, and how terrible is my love life from unrequited feelings that I got, because it's a big deal for me, and I consider forcing me to do what I'm not into and manipulating me as my major pet peeves.
𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗦
In terms of triggers...I only have two which are ta𝖨king about divorce/annullment/separation because I came from a generational broken family (it sucks that some people I knew assumed that the reason why I'm overly unaware that someone is interested in me in secret, is I have "high standards" looking for a partner, but the truth is I'm strict and I have a personal preferences...I know my worth and I don't want settle for less!) and religion/beliefs discrimination, cause' there are reasonings that doesn't makes sense because some, sounds too hypocritical, like as if you're a morally good person.
𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘 + 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗨𝗔𝗚𝗘𝗦
My love languages are quality time and gift giving, but I actually swoon over physical touch (especially cuddles and cute kisses) and words of affirmation when it comes to having a partner, though I get attracted so easily, matured but can be a goofy person who's nice, friendly, kind-hearted, loving, faithful, and excels in academics is my cup of tea. Whenever I have a real life crush (which is rare), I act the same but deep inside, my heart is about to explode and will eventually share to my trustful friends how I highly admire that person, however if they spilled the beans out, I'll obviously deny it and will cry if they like someone else, it will take some time for me to move on, now I don't care for them anymore.
Best Friends to Lovers is my ideal trope because I find it very cute since you already knew each other before dating (which happened to my 2nd cousin, she married her best friend!)---perfect balance for romance, laughters, comfort, and tears when it comes to sharing your vibes, being there through thick and thin, safe with embraces, and helping each other to grow.
𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗔𝗦
My best assets are smile, eyes, personality, singing voice, artistic skills, writings, intelligence, oratorical skills and I have potential in hosting...so I can consider myself as a singer, artist, orator, speaker, and a top student who's a former active campus ministry member with three roles (choir leader, psalm singer, and reader).
May sounds different but I'm passionate for helping people through my talents and sharing my story to inspire everyone. I may look selfish, but I have a different way on how I show that I actually care also I have a biased sentimental value
Currently a college freshman, learning how to cook. I have so many interests, to the point I don't know what I'm into because of my dreams to become a popular Filipino YouTuber, a novelist, and being part of a successful chorale competing internationally...I also consider joining pageants at school too once the pandemic ends, but maybe.
HP: Remus!
- Remus is also quiet and a bit reserved when he's not in a familiar situation, so your own first impression on him would be a good one, as you'd seem similar to his own personality. He's sweet and is able to start up a conversation if he notices the other person is having a hard time doing so, so hopefully he'd be able to bring out your more extroverted and friendly self after a while so he can be around the more open you. He wouldn't mind you being a bit awkward-he's very much the same way-honestly, the comradery that would come from that would be more positive than anything else. He loves sharing knowledge and learning about new things, so your eagerness to talk about what you know would work really well also! He does a lot better when he knows someone has his back too, so your extra supportive nature would endear him to you as well.
SW: Han!
- Your nicer and more helpful personality would balance out Han's more standoffish vibes when first meeting. You might get on his nerves a bit first, but you'd quickly grown on him and, in turn, make him a bit of a better person. Your ability to be blunt and a bit harsh would serve you well if you ever needed to stand your ground on an issue that two of you have, as he can be quite stubborn.
VLD: Lance!
- Lance can be a bit immature from time to time as well, especially when it comes to trying to be funny or cheering up those around him-he's also headstrong and typically firm in what he wants to do, so your own determined personality would attract him to you a lot as well. He often puts off things he needs to do if they make him anxious too, but if you both recognize that you share that problem, helping each other might be a good solution!
Disney: Flynn!
- Flynn is quite a sarcastic and teasing person, so your own humor would match well with his. He's also quite a hopeless romantic as well, even though he's certainly not one to admit that right off the bat. He enjoys singing, and as he gets closer to someone he feels more comfortable doing so in front of them, so a partner he's been with for a long time would get to see him be more and more open with it. That also applies to activities like dancing.
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