#smeg and the heads

[goblininawig]

Red Dwarfcember: Winter

This is the last of my Red Dwarfcember fics. Thanks for hosting this event @red-dwarfer ; this has been a rough month and this has been some much-needed escapism. :)

Happy Holidays everyone!

Summary: A young Dave Lister comes up with a plan to move to Fiji.

Prompt: Winter

Words: 562

Rating: T (no warnings)

A03 link or keep reading below.

Smeg and the Heads, better known as Gazza, Dobbin, and Dave, pick their way down the slushy, ice-patched sidewalks. They just left another sparsely-attended open mic, having failed to sell any merch that would’ve bought them dinner. Dave’s arms are filled with parts from Dobbin’s drum kit, and his otherwise-empty stomach sloshes with beers he charmed some bourgeoisie babes into buying for him. 

The colorful Christmas displays they shuffle past seem to exist only to highlight the horrible weather and his gnawing hunger. Dave feels the low, dull ache of resentment he always endures this time of year, flaring up into white, hot anger. He trips over a plastic candy cane, knocked loose from its stake beside the sidewalk, nearly losing his balance, and his purchase on the kit.

“Smegging crypto-fascist Christmas crap!” he shouts as he finds his feet again.

Gazza and Dobbin stop to watch as Dave kicks the offending decoration all the way down to the grown, and then does the same to each of its fellows.

Back at the abandoned house the band is squatting in, Dave starts a fire, using rubbish and pieces of a broken chair. He and the others crowd together around the fireplace, thawing their tingling extremities. 

“Christmas tomorrow,” Dobbin observes, “should be a right treat of a meal at the shelters.”

Gazza shakes his head mournfully. “Awful innit? That the masses need some story about some baby that never existed to justify acting generously towards their fellow citizens.”

“Christmas is just another manufactured crypto-fascist holiday,” Dave asserts. 

“And religion is just a smoke screen. It’s all about controlling people when the winter gets fierce and food is scarce, so there won’t be an uprising,” Gazza adds.

“In fact,” Dave says, warming to the topic, “if I had my way, I would live somewhere that didn’t give a smeg about Christmas. A place where no one ever even seens a pine tree, and you can grow food all long.”

“Oh, ey?” Dobbin brushes the hair out of his face to raise a skeptical eyebrow. “And where’s that then?”

“I don’t know,” Dave blusters, scrambling for an answer, and spitting out the first island in the Pacific he can think of. “Someplace like – like Fiji!”

“Fiji?” Dobbin echoes doubtfully. “What would a Scouser do in Fiji?”

Warmed now by the fire, and drunk enough to feel certain that this is an absolutely brilliant plan, Dave replies: “I'm going to buy meself a little farm, right? Then I’ll never have to worry about going hungry. And I'll get a sheep and a cow…and breed horses.”

“You can’t breed horses with cows,” Gazza points out.

“No, no, no; I’d breed the horses with other horses,” Dave says. “Obviously.”

“But you don’t know nothing about farming or taking care of animals neither,” Dobbin retorts.

“Well, I don’t have to know anything about it now, do I?” Dave replies, crossing his arms defensively. “I’ve loads of time to figure all that out when I’m older. Unless, of course, the band goes big.” He grins. “Then we’ll be too busy touring to do anything else.”

“Hmm, s’pose so,” Gazza agrees.

“I’ve heard worse ideas,” Dobbin shrugs.

“Like when you said that going to an open mic on Christmas Eve was a good idea?” Dave teases him.

Dobbin shrugs again. “Hey, at least you got some free drinks out of it.”

#red dwarf #reddwarfcember #red dwarf fic #dave lister #smeg and the heads #goblininawig

[timmytastik]

#fanart #art #drawing #gay #eddsworld #eddsworld edd #eddsworld tom #timmytastik #smeg head

[ruindunburnit]

Mfw I just realised that Kryten (Red Dwarf) was probably named in honour of the author of Westworld, Michael Crichton. 🤦‍♂️

#Red Dwarf #Kryten #Michael Crichton #Theories and Headcanons #i am the smeg head

[mystery-of-arkham-asylum]

Another sleepless night another cross stitch addition. This time round Red Dwarf. Also. I have misplaced a need on my bed. Send help.

#mysteryofarkhamasylum #cross stitch #red dwarf #smeg head #ace #asexual #asexuality #gravity falls #batman #riddler #welcome to night vale #wtnv #skyrim #bioshock #tumblr #fairy #sleep #or lack thereof

[burby2007]

So i made and tried the fried egg, chili, chuney sandwich...and it was smeging good

Id give it a 7/10 (I feel like I should of tosted the bread even though Im not suppose to)

#red dwarf #mmmmm #food #Smeg head

[lubotomies]

the eddsworld store just reopened and the design on this shirt is so cute

#i desire the smeg head shirt. I do not have the money for the smeg head shirt.

[a-literal-toaster-wtf]

I will never get over the red dwarf reference in eddsworld

#edds smeg head shirt!!! red dwarf!!!!!!!! #wouldnt be surprised if there's more red dwarf references i just didnt notice or remember #red dwarf #eddsworld #cant believe im still talking about eddsworld in 2023

[cunttom]

fucking scene in wtfuture where. they ride out of the garage in tiny little cars it drives me crazy it has to be a reference to something edd gould couldnt be that funny on his own

#meposting #SORRY its not my fault that everything funny in the show is a reference to smth i dont know. like smeg head. #im easily amused. the cars are so tiny

[hedonicghost]

I think since Star Trek the series exists in the Red Dwarf universe, Rimmer kins Kelvin TL Kirk, but he just says to Lister "I kin Captain Kirk" and Lister has a thought bubble above his head with a compilation of TOS Kirk doing stupid thing (Kirk kick, wearing a padded ass, "Dig it in there, Mister Spock", etc) and just nods and understands.

#not art #like rimmer would kin kirk bc kirk is like #Ideal 'this dude is super competent in an incompetent sort of way' kind of guy #so rimmer would see kirk and go: omg... i want to be as cool as he is (cough ace cough) #and lister would hear it and go: oh its because theyre both stupid smeg heads and think theyre better than everyone. noted

[celestialprincesse]

𝐒𝐚𝐲 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧 𝐆𝐨 - 𝐓𝐰𝐨

Pt2 to this Nik x Hyperfem!reader because I couldn't leave it alone and it's been gnawing at the back of my brain all day

You don't hear the first knock at the door. It's no surprise with the way you're wrapped up in the blissful comfort of your own little world. Being able to tune out to the soft sound of your playlist, the feeling of gently applying your favourite lotions and creams, the moisturiser you'd spent far too much on that leaves you smelling like coconuts and caramel. The second knock snaps you from the pretty pink haze you've drifted into, sending you bounding down the stairs, not even bothering to check the peephole as you fling open the front door.

It's him. He has your plate in his hand, the sharlotka plate, and not only is it clean, but it bears a slightly odd, misshapen cake. You look up at him with hopeful confusion. "I brought you back the plate." He states, as though you're blind, or just stupid. "I can see that." Your attempt at a dismissive, uninterested tone, falls entirely flat when you look up at him like an eager puppy. "I also made cake." Said cake looks distinctly like an attempt at a Victoria Sponge, although you're not quite sure.

Under his scrutinising look, you can't help but rock on your feet in your impractical little shoes. He barely manages to refrain from scoffing at the sight of them. "Would you like to come in?" Nikto's eyes hone on the way you open the door just slightly wider in a tentative invitation.

Barbie would recoil at how girly your house is. It's pink and frilly, gauzy with satiny ribbons and bows on everything. He feels so incredibly wrong here, like he'll stain your fluffy white carpets with blood, darken the soft lamplight with the shadows that cling relentlessly to his back. "Would you like some tea?" You mumble, indicating a nervous hand to your pink smeg kettle as though to prove the authenticity of your offer. "Do you have Russian Earl Grey?" "Uh -" You mutter as you root through your cupboards, filled with all sorts of fruity infusions. "I only have regular."

The two of you sit quietly around your dining table and whilst you sit forking pieces of crumbly, somehow simultaneously soggy, Victoria sponge into your mouth, Nikto sits there trying to find a way to drink his tea without showing you his face. "I am sorry." He murmurs softly, having stewed for the last week about how foolish he'd been in treating you so dismissively. It hasn't helped that he's fucked his hand every night for the past seven days at the image of you and your silly little doll clothes in his head. "If you would still like to, I would like to take you for a meal."

Temporarily fixing their situation!! like using pink glitter glue on the cracked hull of a ship!! 💕

#cod mwii #cod mw2 #cod #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare #modern warfare #Nikto #cod nikto #Nikto x reader #nikto x y/n #nikto x f!reader #nikto x you #call of duty nikto #mwii nikto #say goodnight n go

[iiep-wop]

Guys look I drew everyone's favourite Smeg head

I'm quite pleased with how smug I made him look tbh but I do think I made the neck a bit funky

[adding @what--the-helliot 's ID for this because it was very helpful, Ty dude :D ]

image description: a digital drawing of Rimmer from Red Dwarf. he is wearing his beige uniform and smiling smugly with his hands on his hips. end ID

#hes such a smug bastard #in a /pos way #rimmer red dwarf #red dwarf #my art

[veronica-rich]

Yo, new folks to the RD side of Tumblr: You have some choice in podcasts about the show (lord knows there was nearly nothing, like even just under a decade ago).

Luckily, you can hear them all and don't have to choose! Except for how you want to stack your listening time, naturally.

If you're looking for a somewhat askew POV to the usual analysis, check out "Smeg and the Femmes." It's now into Series 7 episodes (just having tackled "Blue" (!!!) 💋), and you can listen to newer ones FREE online, on Spotify, and the backlog on YouTube. Right now, new episodes drop about 1-2 a month.

The host and founder @janamelie comes at it from both a female and LGBTQ+ perspective; themes of race, ability level, class, age, and more also come up in an ep-by-ep breakdown of intent, subtext, and whatever the fuck Doug and Rob meant "Terrorform" to be.

And yes, there's plenty of Lister/Rimmer to be had.

Guest fans are on each episode to help examine the show in this ongoing audio love letter (I've been on a few, but loads of other fans from Tumblr are too). Find out where you can access past and new episodes by heading over to check out the pinned post at the top of the aforementioned founder's profile!

#red dwarf #fancast #smeg and the femmes #rimster #lister/rimmer

[mirrorfreaks]

happy death day smeg head <3

#arnold rimmer #red dwarf #fanart #I have no idea if the resolution is gonna look bad on this

[ilikesillythings]

Tom x reader

Edd x Reader

IM BEGGINNGGG🙏

"Sweeter than a milkshake" Tom x Reader x Edd

Tws; none Fluff Established relationsips Poly (TomEdd on top<3) (Im so sorry if you dont like ships, if you dont just pretend Edd and Tom are PLATONICALLY together- I would've written two different fics, but I wouldn't know who to @.)

It was days like this you were glad for your two boyfriends. A boring, but sunny day never stayed boring for long when you dated the two insane men known as Edd and Tom.

"Love!" Edd called to you from the kitchen, holding a flyer, "A new cafe opened up nearby, wanna go with me to check it out-- oh, and ask Tom if he wants to as well!!" he added the last part with a goofy grin. "Kay!" You returned, walking to your other boyfriends' room.

Your knucked rapped against the door, "Tomme?" Hearing something thud softly from inside of his room, and small footsteps, you took a step away from the door right before it opened slightly.

"Oh- {Y/N}!" Tom said, his once grumpy face shifting to an excited, goofy grin once his eyes (supposedly, it was hard to tell) settled onto you. He always seemed to brighten up upon seeing you, or Edd for that matter. "Edd wanted to know if you wanted to go to this new cafe with us?"

Immediately Tom nodded excitedly, "Hell yeah!" was his reply as he hooked his arm with you, shutting his door with his foot, walking briskly to the kitchen where Edd was stood, skim-reading the flyer. "You ready, smeg head?" Tom asked Edd, who in turn chuckled, nodding

The cafe wasn't too far away, and since it was nice out you enjoyed the walk. In fact, it was almost a bit too warm, the sun feeling hot against the back of your neck, but the prospect of this oddly made it worth it. "I wonder if they have Cola.." Edd mused to himself softly, causing you and Tom to chuckle.

Eventually, the three of you reached the cafe. It was clearly based off of the 1960s, so with renewed interest, you were the first to step in, followed by Edd, then Tom.

It was fairly empty inside in terms of people, decorations on the other hand were a different story. The walls were white, with black and white checkered floors, red seated booths with long cyan blue tables, a juke box, playing 'These Boots Were Made For Walking' softly, a static hum faintly following the melody, as the thing seemed as though it had seen better days. The walls were covered in photos, Coca Cola signs, photos of dramatically lit lava lamps, barbies, surfers, and tie-dyed shirts. Near the wall was a long counter, red surfaced bar stools in front of it.

Your eyes surveyed over everything, in awe. "Whoa.." you whispered, sitting down at one of the bar stools. Chuckling to themselves, Edd and Tom sat on either side of you, "This is certainly something, huh?" Tom asked with a raised eyebrow,

"Look.." Edd murmured with stars in his eyes, pointing at the large Cola sign. Tom rolled his eyes, mumbling under his breath, "It is cool in here," you eventually said, tilting your head to the side.

Once a waitor gave each of you a menu, Edd got a Cola, Tom black coffee, and you? A milkshake. But, no matter how sweet the {F/F (favourite fruit) } milkshake turned out to be, you knew for a fact that your boys were much, much sweeter.

#eddsworld x reader #edd x reader #tom x reader #eddsworld edd x reader #eddsworld tom x reader #ew tom #ew edd #ew tom x reader #ew edd x reade #tomedd #ew tomedd #eddtom #tomedd ew #shipsworld #x reader #yandere tom #yandere edd #yandere eddsworld

[terrymelody]

Every time I see this. I can only think of these two

“Even though a moon cannot make light. Moonlight exists. Like you, Smeg head”

#red dwarf #gay men #gay pride #lister x rimmer #arnold rimmer #david lister #trending

[psychidelias]

Based on a random idea that popped into my head when I was decorating a tree.

I could completely see the boys from the dwarf dress kryten up like a Christmas tree when he was on offline mode as a prank, but maybe keep it there because they're really in deep space and they have fuck smeg all else to do.

Happy Christmas to all dwarfers who celebrate! 🎄

#love the fireplace channel #I am not a digital artist as you can probably tell #my unsteady hands leave a lot to be desired #the body was fun to draw though #red dwarf #kryten #dave lister #arnold rimmer #the cat #christmas #my art #ibispaint art