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#so like! if you have at any point over the past like six months donated subscribed or commissioned me!!! THANK YOU!!!!!
tangledinink · 5 months
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clenches fist. finally sucked it up and ordered a new ipad...
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jenroses · 2 years
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Art for Pocketful of Soul: Lan Wangji
AHHHHHH I can finally post this!
Chapter 29 of Pocketful of Soul is up, and as a treat to myself, I commissioned @procoffeinating to do two pictures. The first was Mo Xuanyu with the ghosts of the Wen Remnants and was stunning. This one made me cry.
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Image description: Lan Wangji (recognizable as the version from The Untamed as played by Wang Yibo) sits in a sunbeam in a clearing in a dark forest in Qinghe, playing guqin to a group of spirits he is putting to rest, while wearing A-Yuan, asleep, on his back in a traditional Chinese baby carrier.
This type of carrier is a red square of cloth with straps on all four corners. In the image we can see the straps coming forward over LWJ's shoulders and under his arms, gathered together in a twist/knot on his chest.
The infant (about six months old) has very fat cheeks and a few strands of hair caught in his hand. The spirits are translucent, colorless, faded, and listening intently. Lan Wangji glows, both with the sunbeam's light and spiritual energy.
The greenery is lush and vivid where the sun strikes it. End Image Description
So, the assignment I gave Procoffeinating was almost exactly that image description. Literally the day before the draft was sent to me (draft, ha, it was almost exactly this finished!) I'd spent some time seeing what I could get out of Dall-E for a similar prompt. Honestly? while the results were hilarious and disturbing, I regret NOTHING about paying Procoffeinating to get the exact image I wanted.
For comparison, here's what Dall-E generated.
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I'm so sorry. And no, I don't think Procoffeinating has anything to worry about in terms of competition.
Speaking of which: This fanfic is a prompt fill for Fandom Trump Hate, and raised money for the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund. I also decided to help support two artists by commissioning works. I'd like them to get more support, because while I paid with bonuses to both artists for doing such a good, comprehensive job with my requests, both can use more support.
Also, I really want to do more art for this story. It could have art between scene breaks, or for each chapter, or for the various talismans. And I'd really like to raise more money to support things I care about.
SO... If you want to see more art for this story beyond what is already commissioned/done by me, here's what you can do:
Donate to any of the charities supported by Fandom Trumps Hate and let me know how much you donated.
Donate to @procoffeinating's Kofi! Let me know how much you sent!
Buy things from @melomelany_art's redbubble and let me know how much you spent!
Donate to any organization supporting refugees, Ukrainian or otherwise, and let me know! (My own grandfather was a Ukranian Jewish refugee a century ago.)
Donate to any organization FTH has supported in the past, and let me know!
If you tell me you donated and how much, I'll make sure there's more art. Donate $50 or more, and up to the point I can afford it, I'll commission more art from either these artists or another queer artist in need, matching your donation.
Even $3 kofi donations will get art, such as a small, font-based decoration between chapters, or an adaptation of talisman art I've already done. Larger donations might get character portraits. Donate a couple hundred to any of the above, and I'll get another painting done!
This is for new donations.
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smallerplaces · 10 months
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Mer-ily we roll along
Having discovered Mermaid High, of course I went over to browse AliExpress, home to all that's cheap and fascinating.
Then there's these.
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While this is not my style (and I just within the past six months sold or donated all of my mother's Jun Planning-type dolls because it's really not my style)... wow. These are seriously impressive. These are mermaids who'll lure you to drown in the deep so they can eat your bones, and you'll thank them for it.
My expectation for Ali Express mermaids was more like these.
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The light-up tail makes these fancier than the ones that hit Dollar Tree the minute the mermaid trend took off. These have the face and arms of the cheapest dollar-store fashion dolls.
This gal combines aquatic and aerial transportation.
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She has a posse, who come in yellow, blue, and purple.
I'm not sure what's going on here, but it's happening with articulated elbows.
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These look like they have glass eyes and rooted lashes (albeit some of the worst lash-rooting I've ever seen). They're kind of cute in a lost-souls way.
Then I got distracted because the same store still does Monster High clones, which also come in mer-form.
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This is the Demon High I remember from days of yore! (a.k.a. 2014) The characters are almost recognizable, yet visibly "off," and then we throw in that second gal from the right, who logically must be Draculaura, but looks like some mundane accidentally got transferred in.
Finally, I have to wonder why I haven't seen this one in person anywhere. The price seems to be a little higher, but you get to participate in the "doll with little sister" and "doll with companion animal" trends.
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This gal is labeled "blinding singing 1" on the site, which is so on-point that I hesitate to click on another. A closer look at the listing determines that the smaller doll is a ddung doll (Korean-style big head with big round eyes, small mouth; these show up in Asian gift stores), and there is also a sparkly pink life preserver. I'm declaring the pink dolphin to be an Amazon River Dolphin because I loved Invisible City.
If I were going to indulge in any of these -- which I'm not -- it'd be the maroon-haired gal from the line of nine mermaids, as those are on the clone version of the Barbie Fashionista body, plus they seem to have glass eyes.
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loreweaver-universe · 2 years
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And that’s the episode.
Well, well!  Isn’t that interesting.  Eda’s got a hidden monster side.  That’s going to become very important at some point in the future, but I wonder whether it’ll be because she misses her elixir dose or because she turns it on against an enemy they’re facing.  Either way, it’s going to be very exciting.
And Luz has learned MAGIC!  It seems a bit too cumbersome to be used on the fly as-is, but...
...Actually, wait, no.  If Luz draws almost the entire rune, stores it, then whips it out and finishes the final stroke on the fly, maybe she CAN find quick utility in it!  That would be a clever solution for that problem to have.  I’m wondering how messed up her phone camera is, though--I suppose it would be too easy for her to just be able to copy whatever spell Eda shows her on a whim this early in the show, but the rune appearing in the video...I wonder, is that a property of catching the casting on video, or is that something else special that happened?  Interesting.
That’s the episode, but we’re not done for tonight--I’m about to start Owl House episode 5!  We’ll get to that in a few minutes.  Before I continue, though, a request: One of my bigger patrons ended their patronage, so I’m going to be out a fair bit of money this month.  If any of you would be willing to pledge a few dollars to my Patreon, I would be endlessly grateful.  If you’re willing to shoot me a few dollars directly, that would be wonderful too!  This isn’t a super emergency or anything, but I don’t know how much less money than I was expecting I’m going to wind up getting, so please help if you can.
Thank you all for tuning in, and thank you to my 52 patrons for making it so I can do this for a living!  I’ll see you in a few minutes for episode 5!
IN OTHER NEWS:
I recently completed my blind playthrough of Persona 5 Royal!  You can see the full playlist of those streams by clicking here!
I’m currently in the middle of playing through Persona 4 Golden!  You can see the ongoing playlist of those streams by clicking here!
If you’d like to help me pay my rent, buy me some food, or help with my bills and medicine, please use my direct donation link!  If you’d like to support me per liveblog completed every month, please pledge to my Patreon!
You should also go pledge to Gio’s Patreon, or his Sponsus–our Discord server maintenance tech and creator of Rubybot deserves far more than I can afford to pledge to him by myself.
If you’d like more of me and my content:
My Episode Lists master page, where you can find every show and liveblog I’ve done!
My Discord server, where you can come hang out with me and other fans, check out member liveblogs, and join community gaming guilds!
My Twitch channel, where I stream variety games every so often!
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My merch store, where you can get shirts, mugs, stickers, and more!
It’s your kindness and support that lets me do this stuff, and I wouldn’t be where I am without all of you to do it for.  Thank you all so much for your support, and for tuning in every episode!
OTHER PEOPLE YOU MAY ENJOY:
I may have been one of the earlier Steven Universe liveblogs, but a whole community of livebloggers has sprung up over the last six years!   I linked to a bunch individually for a few wrap-ups, but honestly, this end-slate is already eight billion miles long, so I’m just gonna link to my links page.  Click here if you want recommendations of other livebloggers, or other neat people, or webcomics and podcasts that I recommend.
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drawingconclusions · 9 months
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FIXING AMERICA'S BROKEN SYSTEM
I told you that most probably wouldn't like what I had to say today. But I'm almost done, and then we can all get back to the status quo!
So it's becoming more obvious to people that there are glaring issues with our justice system, and some are finally waking up to the fact that the FBI has become far too politicized. (Has anyone else noticed how FBI Director Christopher Wray always seems aghast at the breaking-news scandals at the FBI, such as the targeting of Catholics, etc.? And yet, issues just keep cropping up with him in charge...) Certain Democrats seem laser-focused on Supreme Court Justice Thomas Clarence for not having disclosed a few donated trips & gifts, yet they brazenly want to sweep under the rug the $20 million the Biden family has reportedly received from foreign influences over the years, according to bank statements. How do we solve what has in many cases devolved into a two-tier system of justice?
It's foolhardy to think I could solve this within a post of a couple hundred words, and I won't pretend to. This is a conversation that should involve all of America. However, I will say the following:
During a Congressional hearing recently, one Democrat defended the excesses and behavior of the FBI, the DOJ, and a few other government institutions, claiming that they were providing checks and balances in government. I'll beg to differ from that claim, especially in light of the fact that a few of the institutions he mentioned aren't even found in the Constitution. Instead, I propose that many of these government agencies need more checks and balances applied on them. There have to be severe legal and career consequences for agents or prosecutors who break the law or act in an unethical manner. And in some cases, yes, certain officials need to do jail time or lose their pensions. It's that serious.
Some time ago, someone implied that some members of Congress are hesitant to regulate the FBI, for example, because they're afraid of them and what they can do. And I have to ask, how in the world did it come to this??! It should be the other way around, and corrupt members of the FBI or any government agency should be afraid of Congress, knowing they could lose everything if they've broken the letter or the spirit of the law.
I didn't have time to continue my "Parameters of Government" series this time around. But consider just some of the behavior of local authorities in the past few months: On July 12th, around 10 AM (Eastern Time) a propeller-powered plane began flying frenetically around my house, and it sounded very similar to the plane that began buzzing me after I criticized Biden's Afghanistan withdrawal on September 3, 2021. And around 3 PM, another plane that sounded like the FBI's familiar Cessna plane began making its rounds overhead. When I checked the news later, I realized that FBI Director Wray was testifying before Congress that day. (I wonder, were those about the times he took the stand and subsequently ended the questioning session?) On June 27th, from about 7-8 PM and then from about 10:30 - 11:07 PM, a Cessna plane (the FBI's?) began flying overhead every six minutes. I later found out there was a local school board meeting regarding LBTQ+ students. And I could go on with literally thousands of similar instances (...such as the military helicopter frenetically showing up when I step outside to mow the lawn, or what appeared to be the local police helicopter that tracked my movement when I went to the store to pick up a forgotten item on July 4th). My point is, when government goes unchecked, it often morphs into something authoritarian and completely unbecoming of a democracy. And there's no denying there are people in government who hate and even fear free speech. Perhaps that's why some of these local authorities become so frenetic when there's an event they fear I would comment on. (As if I spend all my waking hours watching news and rushing here to write about it..)
You're more than welcome to submit a Freedom of Information request to verify the dates and times I just mentioned. I already stated long ago that if I spent all my time & resources submitting FOI requests for the thousands upon thousands of these instances, I'd get nothing done. But all this is really about more than me, more than just one individual. There must be changes in America's systems in order to sustain the essence of our democracy. We cannot have government officials (elected or unelected) censoring citizens on behalf of a single political party. We can't have unelected bureaucrats or law enforcement harassing citizens or labeling peacefully protesting parents at school board meetings as "domestic terrorists". And we won't survive long as the respected nation we've been with continued double standards in our system of justice.
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cyarskj1899 · 2 years
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A Timeline Of Kanye West And Candace Owens’ Sunken Friendship Over The Years
A match made in MAGA hell...
Source: Jason Davis / Getty
Kanye West and conservative firestorm Candace Owens may appear to be forming an unexpected alliance, but a closer look at a timeline of their strange friendship shows that it’s not at all out of the blue.
Earlier this month, the staunch Republican attended the rapper’s Yeezy Season 9 fashion show in Paris, where she and the Grammy Award winner were photographed wearing his infamous “white lives matter” shirt. The two stars donned a cheeky smile as they stood side by side wearing the controversial piece of clothing proudly.
“I did this because Kanye called me and he said he needed me to be in the show,” Owens explained during an interview with Fox News after the image went viral. “It offered a stunning commentary on the society we live in. We put on a t-shirt to actually do something that was inclusive… because literally all lives matter, and in fact, no lives have been mattering. Black Americans are suffering as a result of Black Lives Matter.”
Kanye and Owens were spotted schmoozing again this week at the premiere of the conservative podcaster’s new anti-BLM documentary, The Greatest Lie Ever Sold. The film, which debuted on Wednesday, makes some shocking allegations about the Black Lives Matter movement and its alleged misuse of donation funds. Before the screening, Kanye posed alongside Owens, country star Colby Covington and artist Ray J.
Kanye West showers Owens with praise for the way she” thinks”
While West and Owens’ burgeoning friendship may come as surprise to some, they’ve operated adjacently in the same orbit over the past few years. Their first interaction came in 2018 when Ye showered her with praise for her far-right philosophical rants.
“I love the way Candace Owens thinks,” he tweeted at the time.
Owens quickly retweeted the message, adding:
“Please take a meeting with me. I tell every single person that everything that I have been inspired to do, was written in your music. I am my own biggest fan because you made it okay. I need you to help wake up the black community.”
That was seemingly the start of their sunken friendship.
Kanye designs T-shirts for Candace Owens’ Blexit movement
Kanye’s tweet came around the same time the rapper was swooning over Donald Trump and his presidential cronies. The star crossed paths with Owens again in 2018 when he allegedly offered to design a few T-shirts for her Blexit event at Turning Point USA’s Young Black Leadership Summit. The Blexit movement was spearheaded by Owens to get Black voters to leave the Democratic Party.
At the time, Owens gushed about the T-shirt to Page Six, telling the publication: “Blexit is a renaissance and I am blessed to say that this logo, these colors, were created by my dear friend and fellow superhero Kanye West.”
Candace Owens and Kanye get into a brief rift over the shirts
Months later, things briefly turned sour between Ye and Owens after the rapper accused the Republican influencer of using his star power to “spread” harmful political messages about the Democrats.
“I introduced Candace to the person who made the logo and they didn’t want their name on it so she used mine. I never wanted any association with Blexit. I have nothing to do with it,” the rapper tweeted at the time.
In an attempt to do damage control, Owens released a lengthy apology statement to Yeezy.
“If I had to imagine what it would feel like to have a bullet pierce my heart, it would be exactly like the moment I learned Kanye told the world he felt I had used him,” the Blackout author wrote. “I never once said that Kanye designed the t-shirts for BLEXIT…I would like to publicly apologize to him for any undue stress or pain the effort to correct that rumor has caused him, his business relationships, or his family. He simply never designed them.”
Days later, the former foes quickly mended their friendship. Owens smoothed things over by sending Ye a copy of her book, which is all about helping Black people leave the “Democrat plantation.”
“THANK YOU CANDACE OWENS,” the “Jesus Walks” hitmaker tweeted, along with a photo of the book.
The revival of Ye and Owens’ sunken place friendship just wasn’t on our bingo card for 2022 but it is in fact a thing. It seems like the fiery political star has a hold on Ye, and she seems to be supporting a lot of his kooky political and racist rants.
But now, Owens’ motivation for cozying up to Kanye is being questioned as his closest advisers and friends reportedly believe the man who previously announced he was bipolar is in the throes of a mental health crisis.
TMZ reported on Thursday that Owens has been described by insiders as an advisor of sorts for West. And considering Owens’ reputation as a grifting con artist who will stop at nothing to get paid, there are reported suspicions she is taking advantage of Kanye, both politically and financially.
We’ll just have to wait and see how this one plays out.
SEE ALSO:
Supreme Court Rejects Candace Owens’ Petition After ‘Fact Checkers’ Called Out Her COVID-19 Lies
Alleged Scammer Candace Owens Announces Documentary She Vows Will ‘Expose’ BLM As A Scam
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erodasfishtacos · 3 years
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Is this seat empty? " Yes and this one will be too if you sit down" , "Don't be like that my love."
For MLB!Harry first stupid fight in a relationship 😂
Okay this turned into something entirely different then the prompt. Sorry anon 😂
Peace & Quiet (Please)
If you enjoy please like, reblog, comment, or come talk to me!
I write for free so if you enjoy my work please consider donating to my kofi page.
-
“Where d’you put m’protein mix?” Harry asks, padding into the kitchen and opening every single fucking cabinet.
“It’s in the same place it’s been for the past five years,” YN bites out with a slight irritation, mixing the pancake batter a little rougher.
She’s been up since three in the morning and Harry sauntered in around six-thirty after coming home late from a baseball game last night.
All the babies still asleep.
“Ah - fuck,” Her husband huffs when he spills the powder all over the countertop and floor she had just swiffered ten minutes ago.
When he goes to open the other cabinet and grab for a shaker bottle - they all come tumbling out onto the floor in a loud clash.
“Could you be any louder? You going to wake up the kids!” YN scolds harshly, pointing to the closet, “Go get the swiffer.”
He obliges - surprised by her attitude, grabbing it and slapping it (by accident) on the ground like a fucking baseball bat, the head of the mop snapping off and breaking.
“S’broken,” Harry states the obvious, shrugging and going about peeling a banana before leaving the peel near the sink.
YN turns to face him, voice irritated, “I’m about to break you, just like you broke the swiffer.”
“Is that a threat or a promise?” He asks cheekily but her glare tells him there is no amusement to be had this morning.
“I just spent all morning cleaning and you’ve made this place a disaster already!” His wife bites before flipping one of the pancakes.
Harry dejectedly cleans up his protein mix mess, neatly places the shake bottles into the right place, throws away the peel, and closes all the cabinets.
“M’sorry,” He murmurs, coming up behind her and kisses the nape of her neck, “Y’seem a bit cranky this mornin’.”
And man. He should have not said that.
“Do you have a baby who needs to fucking feed from your body every hour even during the night? I don’t think so,” She mutters, shaking him off of her.
“Hey, mama. M’bein’ an ass, what can I do to help?” He changes gears, choosing to stand next to her since she didn’t seem to want to be touch.
“Breastfeed - let your nipples feel like their constantly on fire and about to fall off. Make all this post-partum bleeding stop. Let me sleep for a day straight. I don’t know,” YN begins to sniffles, plating a few mini pancakes.
He’s taken aback, eyebrows furrowing in concern, and he leans forward to flip off the stovetop, “Can I touch you?”
She nods, wiping her eyes, and allows him to haul her up into their marble countertop, “Mama, y’need to tell me when y’feeling overwhelmed? Please baby. I’ve asked you a million times to wake me up and I can bottle feed her.”
“No, she…I have to feed her. It helps bonding and it-“
Harry interrupts firmly, “She will be perfectly fine being fed by a bottle a few times a day. You’re putting too much stress on yourself.”
Her head falls on his shoulder and she mumbles, “I just feel so…gross, not attractive at all.”
He pulls her back, searching her face in confusion, “Baby, why would you ever say somethin’ like that?”
YN let’s out a quiet sob, “My nipples are chafed and sore, I’m constantly bleeding, my belly hasn’t deflated -“
Harry can’t help but lean in and connect their lips harshly, he’s pulling her loose shirt up and over her head.
“Harry, what-“
“Listen t’me,” Harry rasps seriously, his hands are tender and careful as they cup her swollen breasts - thumbing at her painful nubs.
“I’m literally obsessed w’your tits, baby. They’ll go back to normal after y’done feeding and even if they don’t - I love them just as fucking much. You fed our three healthy strong boys and now you’re makin’ sure our chunky little girl is eating good.”
Then he hands move to cup her belly, large hands splayed over the still softening, firm bump from where Briar had been housed for nine months.
“Y’gave me four, four fuckin’ babies from this belly. I’m fucking in love with your body. God, y’thighs, y’tummy, the stretchmarks - fuck, getting me hard just lookin’ at you.”
It was true, he was stiffening up in his shorts but neither of them acknowledged it - it was a love boner more than anything else.
He literally got hard from how much he loved her.
“I’m tired,” She sighs softly, letting Harry tug her shirt back on as the children would be waking up soon to eat breakfast.
“I know, mama,” Harry acknowledges softly, giving her another kiss before taking over the pancake station.
-
When all the boys are downstairs and chomping away on their food, Cash, who is just about four decides it’ll be funny to squirt the sticky syrup all over their expensive stool cushions and the floor.
When YN turns from the sink to see the mess, she admits she snaps a little bit, “Really Harry? You’re supposed to be watching them, not checking the sports news on your phone!”
Harry is about to defend himself but his wife is stomping over to where Cash has emptied the bottle and gives him a firm look, “Cash Edward Styles, get your bum upstairs, right now.”
Cash’s eyes widen, his mother rarely needed to use a harsh tone with them, “Mama, I’m so-“
“If you are not upstairs, by the bathtub this instant, you get no outside time today. Do you understand me?” YN tells him, giving Easton a warning look when he licks at the syrup on his finger.
“Yes mama,” Cash squeaks out sadly, abandoning his plate and walking up towards the bathroom upstairs to get clean.
Easton and Ezra are dead silent as they watch their brother leave - not wanting the same fate as him so they sit proper.
“Sweetheart-“ Harry begins, putting his phone back in his pocket.
“No, I have my hands full taking care of four kids. I don’t need you acting like a fifth. Go bathe your son,” YN tells him coldly, an angry stare directed his way.
Harry clenches his jaw, biting his tongue as he stands up and pushes his chair in with force - making a loud noise before following after his second son.
A few minutes after they’re out of sight, Easton thought it’d be funny to wipe syrup down Ezra’s cheek which made Ezra cry and throw a pancake at his older brother - now soaking him in syrup.
YN starts to leak milk at the sound of Ezra’s cries.
“Easton Robin - get you butt upstairs this instant too. You know better - no outside time today,” She informs him as she uses a wet wipe to clean Ezra’s cheek.
“Mama,” Easton whines, fat tears starting roll down his cheeks as he stands up, loitering by the kitchen stool.
“Do not make me repeat myself,” YN warns, swiping a paper towel over the wet spot on her shirt from the leak.
-
Harry had just started washing up Cash who was still melancholy when his blubbering older one comes in - still tearful.
He sighs, looking at his syrupy son, “Wha’ happened?”
Easton looks hesitant, “I put syrup on Ezzie and mama said no outside time today.”
His father is tight-lipped, he can already predict that Easton’s actions upset Ezra, “Alright, c’mon. Let’s clean y’up too. Y’know better, Easton.”
-
Harry had just finished helping both boys dress when YN appears in the doorway with Ezra who has a binkie popped in his mouth.
She steps over and hands their son to Harry before muttering, “I’m going to feed Briar, keep the boys out of the room. I need some peace.”
YN disappears from the room before he can even reply to her.
-
Harry can admit he gets distracted when one of his coaches calls him up for a game change, doesn’t notice when Cash sneaks from the playroom.
It’s less than five minutes later when YN leads Cash gently by the hand back into the playroom, with Briar still latched and feeding.
When she sees Harry on his phone, she’s fucking livid with him.
“Really Harry?” His wife scoffs, guiding Cash to join Easton in where he’s playing with legos.
“I’ll call you back,” Harry replies to his coach before hanging up, “Sorry, it was Donny-“
“Good to know your job is more important than watching your kids,” She spits out before storming back out of the room.
Harry is up and following behind her, jaw clenched and irritated, “Just ‘cause you’re in a pissy mood doesn’t mean that y’say shit like that.”
She turns on her heel, eyes fiery, “You have no god damn consideration. You’ve been swamped this week because of your nike promotion and games. I’ve had the babies all by myself for four nights while you get to gallivant around!”
Harry goes to speak but she puts her free hand up.
“I ask for you to keep our house clean and to let me have one moment of peace with our daughter but you don’t even let me have that! You do not understand how hard it is to push a baby out of you and then have them rely on you to feed them twenty times a day!”
His anger fades when his wife starts sobbing - chest shuddering sobs, “I just had her four weeks ago. I-I haven’t had a break yet. You act like it’s so easy!”
He starts to walk towards her, “Sweetheart-“
YN shakes her head, a desperate plea in her tone, “Please just give me time with Briar.”
Harry swallows harshly and nods - feeling like shit as his wife walks back towards the stairs - all the while still feeding their daughter.
-
“Hello?”
“Mum, I-can you take the boys for the night?” Harry asks quietly, standing in the kitchen while the two older boys are still playing quietly.
Ezra’s passed out, on Harry’s hip with his little face smushed against the cap of his shoulder with parted lips.
“Dear, is everything okay?” She replies cautiously.
“No, I-I don’t know. YN is overwhelmed and I don’t think I’ve been supportive enough,” Harry feels himself begin to sniffle.
Anne doesn’t pry for information which Harry loves about her, she agrees to take them, and states she’ll be over within the hour.
Harry goes about packing their pajamas and other necessities in their little backpacks as the squeal excitedly about going to Nana’s.
“Can we say bye to mama?” Easton asks anxiously as they clear out of their bedrooms.
“Let me go ask,” He murmurs, running a hand through his son’s curls.
When he cracks open the door, YN is sprawled out on her back, fast asleep with Briar also asleep in the bassinet next to the bed.
His heart aches because her shirt is off, and the remnants of her nipple cream which was a pinkish orange color wasn’t fully rubbed in on her bruised breasts.
Harry guides them downstairs, promising that their mama will call them later.
-
After the boys leave, Harry doesn’t know what to do so he cleans whatever he finds that is dirty or messy so she won’t have to.
He does all the laundry in the house, cleans up every single toy, and when Briar starts to whimper - he sneaks in to snatch her up so she doesn’t wake YN.
Then he takes her out to the shops with him to grab groceries, her favorite snacks, and maybe he does stop by a jewelry store and buy her something nice.
(casually a pair of 20k earrings)
YN fell asleep around eighty-thirty in the morning and doesn’t wake up until about nine at night, Harry had put Briar in her nursery about an hour ago.
When she does awake, Harry is sitting in the living room - watching a stupid action movie to pass time and dwell on everything.
She comes in quietly, stands in front of her husband who looks up at her with anxious eyes - she looks brighter now that she’s had adequate sleep.
“Will you hold me?” She rasps quietly, just in one of Harry’s shirts and soft pair of sleep shorts.
“Never haven t’ask, mama,” He murmurs, guiding her until she’s straddling his lap and burying her face into the crook of his neck.
His hands sneak beneath her shirt to massage the sleep-warm skin as he kisses her shoulder - over and over again.
“I’m so sorry,” YN whispers into his skin, voice croaky as she tries to not get upset.
He pulls her back to study her face, “Do not apologize, y’allowed to get mad at me and feel frustrated. You’re emotions are valid. There’s a lot going on and I could be doing more to help.”
YN wipes a tear that trickles down as she laughs in disbelief, “No, you can’t do anymore to help.”
“Wha-? I can, I promis-“
She interrupts his with a kiss before telling him sincerely, “You can’t do anymore help because you’re already doing the most amazing job. As a husband and dad. I was just tired and stressed - it’s not an excuse.”
It warms his heart, he fucking loves her so much it does make sense, has to button their lips together one more time.
“You have a really hard job too, on top of being a husband and dad. You give us all this, support us and take care of us.”
“Are y’kidding me? Y’the one who keeps this family together. Y’the fuckin’ love of my life, you know that? I love you so much, so so much,” He emphasizes, rubbing a thumb across her bottom lip.
The kiss one more time - the anger was subsided and they were okay once again.
Harry laughs and agree when YN murmurs, “S’time for bed again, m’tired.”
“Okay mama, anythin’ for you,” He responds before peppering her in kisses to make her giggle lightly.
2K notes · View notes
jungkxook · 3 years
Text
—out of the blue. (m)
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⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader 
⟶ genre: youtuber/gamer!jungkook + fluff / smut 
⟶ words: 5,204
⟶ rating: 18+
⟶ summary: catching your boyfriend bleaching and dyeing his hair for a livestream is definitely not what you expected — but it certainly has its perks.
⟶ warnings: established relationship, some attempt at humour, .2 seconds of sort of sub jungkook (you just like seeing him on his knees), you call jungkook a good boy, shower sex, hair pulling, oral sex, face riding, standing sex, breast play, cum eating, doggy style, unprotected sex, creampie
⟶ note: because blue haired jungkook has me feeling all sorts of things. also dedicating this to the lovely ryen @kithtaehyung​ because blue haired jungkook is getting her too and i hope this helps!! and thank you to the wonderful @gamerkooks​ and @stanrandomthings​ for always giving me inspiration for gamer jungkook <3
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“What the hell are you doing?”
Jungkook has less than a second to react when he hears you bursting through the door of his bedroom, a guilty expression plastered on his face as if you’ve caught him in the midst of a much worse act than what he’s already currently doing ━ but the flustered scowl deepening your countenance is enough for him to certainly feel that way, because how else is he supposed to casually explain why he’s currently sitting shirtless in front of a camera?
Admittedly, the sight is odd enough, and there’s a split moment where your incredulous look is enough to make him feel as if he’s wronged you, and your six month long relationship with him, entirely before he remembers that he didn’t actually do anything wrong like cheat on you, but is actually just trying to dye his hair.
He’s sat in his gaming chair, camera and lights set up around him, and the monitor of his desktop all recording his face to the hundreds of thousands of viewers currently watching his livestream. He had told you well in advance about his aim to do a twenty-four hour live broadcast for his subscribers to both raise money for a donation and to countdown to his next subscriber milestone with the help of his friends ━ and had even asked you to help him plan the event, discussing it animatedly with you for the past month on various occasions ━ but mainly just because Jungkook is crazy enough to sit through a twenty-four hour stream and call it fun.
You had known most of how the entirety of the day would go. Starting from noon the previous day to now, almost an hour before the stream ends, thus far he’s done various gameplays from Minecraft to Overwatch to Among Us simultaneously with his friends who had offered to marathon with him the twenty-four hour event; had a period of time in which Jimin and Taehyung were over and cramped in his room to answer questions and talk to viewers but mostly just to create absolute chaos. You had been there for most of it, though you’re still trying to figure out if it’s a blessing or a curse that you were suckered into paying rent for your three bedroom apartment by Taehyung more than a year ago, and subsequently falling madly in love with Jungkook and forcing you to aid in his antics. You’ve been in a handful of his videos before, appearing in Twitch and YouTube streams, and in the background of vlogs in his channel and the channels belonging to the other boys; and, on that day for Jungkook’s twenty-four hour event, you had joined him at the start before being dragged away for work and then tried to pull an all-nighter with him until you crashed on the couch in the living room, and checking in on him occasionally to give him food and water and to just generally make sure your boyfriend isn’t dead.
Now, with the remaining final hour dwindling down, you had been in your room trying to finish last minute essay writing for school, with your phone propped up on your desk and Jungkook’s livestream playing as background noise to your studying. One minute, he had been playing a round of Among Us, and the next, when you had glanced up, he had the bottle in hand and the detrimental blue dye coating his hair in slick globs. It wouldn’t have been so shocking, had you not seen Jungkook an hour ago when he had his natural dark hair still, and now he had somehow managed to sneak in bleaching his hair in the time you had left him. Maybe it was your fault for not catching it sooner, if only because you had sheepishly taken a small nap amidst your studying only to wake up to a nightmare.
Which is where that leaves you currently, dishevelled demeanour standing at the threshold of his door after chasing over to his room, watching as Taehyung helps Jungkook sufficiently ruin his beautiful hair which you love so much.
“Uh… Dyeing my hair?” Jungkook finally answers, dumbfounded. He’s fortunate he had pulled off his shirt to avoid getting hair dye on it, an old towel now draped around his shoulders to catch any excess mess. He adds brightly, “We asked for suggestions on how to end the stream and someone said I should dye my hair, so Tae got the stuff.”
“You bleached your own hair?” You retort, exasperated. “When the hell did all this happen? I’ve been next door to you the whole time! What if your hair falls out? You should’ve gotten a professional to do it, not Tae━”
Taehyung looks inexplicably offended by your slandering remarks on his (lack of) hair styling skills, retorting with, “Yo, what the━?”
Jungkook blinks, as if just being made aware of what he’s actually doing.
“My hair’s gonna fall out?” he gaps. “Guys, what the hell? Why’d no one tell me?”
He looks from you to Taehyung then over at the comments on his livestream which are currently flooding with the sole topic of you. His eyes snag the first few that appear to him in the frenzied influx of words:
uh oh jungkook’s sleeping on the floor tonight
oh shit run bro
f in the chat for jk’s hair
get him y/n!!!!
“Dude, she’s just being dramatic,” Taehyung waves you off. He ducks out of the way when you reach out to Jungkook’s bed for a pillow and chuck it at the older boy’s head.
“And when he’s bald, then what━”
“No!” A helpless Jungkook exclaims suddenly. He gestures wildly to the stream, “Don’t give them ideas. The edits are gonna start pouring in.”
“Jeon, look, it’s too late to go back now,” Taehyung says. “You’ve got half your head covered in dye and three minutes to go with the stream. How bad can it be?”
A groveling sigh eclipses your lips as you push yourself forward. “Then at least let me help before you ruin it completely.”
Jungkook’s fortunate, to say the least, though he’s left wondering if you’re truly upset with him.
He finishes the countdown to the end of his twenty-four hour stream with you and Taehyung putting the last remaining globs of dye on his hair, a heartfelt goodbye to his viewers who marathoned the stream with him, and a promise to update them on the status of his hair when he washes the dye out.
And, just as soon as he’s shut his camera off, the mundane world returns to him.
It’s no longer millions of anonymous and faceless viewers watching him from the other side of their screens in the tiny bubble that is his room, but just you and Taehyung and the older boy’s frisky little Pomeranian dog and the threat of a wallowing regret as Jungkook thinks to himself, what the hell did he truly just do to his hair?
At some point, Taehyung retreats to his girlfriend’s house taking Yeontan with him, leaving you alone with Jungkook and he basks in the sudden cozy quiet after twenty-four hours of madness as the adrenaline rush begins to fade and mellow out. Back aching, joints cracking and popping as he stretches and moves, and eyes burning in the similar way they do from having stared at a screen for too long, but tenfold, he craves nothing more than to find your sweet and comforting touch to end such a long day.
He finds you in the living room already scrolling through your phone and your Twitter feed to read and marvel at all the comments and memes made by his viewers during his stream and his heart threatens to burst through his chest because you’ve always been so supportive of him and his fans, and they’ve always adored you and your endless interactions with them. So, surely, you can’t be mad at him for bleaching and dyeing his hair. Right?
As his arms come to wrap around you from behind, face nuzzling in the crook of your neck, he hears you bemoan, “You look like a Smurf came on your head.”
Wrong.
Well, not entirely, he guesses. You do lean into his chest, practically melting against him. A sluggish grin tugs at his lips and, instead, he chooses to ask, “Shower with me?”
“Aren’t you tired, Koo?”
“Baby,” he deadpans, and your heart flutters just a little bit, “by this point, I’m running solely on Red Bull and coffee that I’m positive I could fight the gods with my bare hands and win. In fact, I’ve had so much caffeine that I’m fairly certain I’ve ascended to the astral plane. Besides, I need to wash this dye out, and I could use some help. Sleep can wait.”
“Help,” You snort. “You’re such a liar. I already know what you want.”
“To spend time with my beautiful girlfriend? You’re right.”
“I’m not sucking your dick.”
He pulls his head back to look at you. Though he tries to look offended, there’s the tiniest of smirks on his face. “Wasn’t gonna ask you!”
You turn to properly face him in his arms and shoot him a dubious glance. He leans down to press a chilling kiss to your jaw, then nudges his nose against you in the same spot so that you’ll move your head. You do so, despite your prior scolding, and let him kiss the underside of your jaw down to your neck.
“Okay, fine,” You huff finally.
You relent, miraculously, but Jungkook had already guessed you would the moment he had found you in the living room and he couldn’t be happier.
He cherishes the moments alone with you, has come to know them well as he falls into a comfortable routine with you away from prying eyes over the last few months. Because sometimes, as he comes to learn, it’s hard to establish a relationship when his job requires him to be in the spotlight often. What is authentic and what is simply fabricated for views is difficult to discern, and yet you’re patient with him. Not everything to him is money and views and numbers, or what his next big plan is, or how you could potentially help him in some way (despite knowing that any video featuring you seems to skyrocket his views and land his videos on the trending page of YouTube more often than not because he knows everyone loves you more than him). You know when he’s his online persona and when he’s simply just Jungkook, and while there’s hardly any difference between the two, his online personality surely has to maintain a level of privacy and happiness that may not always be true.
At least with you, he can just be himself. He can finally be at ease.
Showering together is just one of the many acts of normalcy he cherishes with you. So, he turns on the shower and lets the bathroom get all warm and balmy as you undress. He’s the first one inside, hissing in delight as he lets the water run over his sore muscles, washing out the dye in his hair firstly so as not to get it on you and fortunately not making too much of a mess of blue dye in the tub. You’ve joined him in an instant when he’s nearly done, squeezing into the space in front of him as you shut the glass door behind you, the pane already beginning to fog and slick with droplets of condensation. He pulls you into him once more, nestling his chin on your shoulder as his hands come to wrap around you. They slide across your front, all wet and soapy, briefly gliding across your breasts, palms brushing against your nipples before traveling down to your navel.
“Congrats, baby,” You coo gently. “Twenty-four hours.”
He murmurs into your hair, “Missed you loads though.”
You turn to look at him finally, and it’s hard not to stare. Your eyes land firstly on his abdomen and the toned muscles there, trailing up to his arm and the pretty tattoos that decorate every inch of his skin, to his soft pink lips and his big eyes. Then, there’s the matter of his hair. The water has done most of the work in washing out the dye from his hair, now falling across his forehead and into his eyes and cheekbones, and it’s only then that you fully register the dye has worked as you struggle to find any remnants of his once-ebony-then-blonde locks. The blue hair is an obvious stark contrast to his natural hair and, you think, it is pretty, accentuating his radiant skin and making his eyes pop.
“I didn’t think you were actually serious all those times you said you wanted to change your hair.” Your lips are pursed as you survey him now, your fingers twirling a strand of his tresses around and around as you inspect it.
He smiles, catching your hand and pressing a quick peck to your knuckles. “Neither did I,” he admits sheepishly. “It sort of just happened.”
You pout. “I’m gonna miss your natural hair.”
“Do you really hate it blue?”
“I don’t hate it. Was more scared you’d ruin your pretty hair and make it all fall out.”
At this, Jungkook flashes you a cheeky smile. He holds his head a little higher. “So you still think my hair is pretty?”
“I think you’re a dork,” You clarify. “And, aside from the fact you almost gave me a heart attack, I’d say the blue is so pretty. Beyond pretty. Kinda hot, if I’m being honest.”
Because you’re not really mad, but it’s fun just to tease Jungkook and see his reactions. At the very least, he can sense this, as it’s apparent with the way his smile stretches even wider on his face.
“Hot, huh?”
“Mhm. But you didn’t hear that from me.”
He feigns a look of mock hurt. “Oh no. You must be really mad. Want me to make it up to you?”
“How are you gonna do that?”
“Well, what do you want from me?”
You take a moment to think it over, but the answer is already obvious enough. It’s one that even he knows, and one that has won you over the moment Jungkook was freed from his stream. You hum aloud, “You, on your knees, head between my legs, like a good boy. Think I can get a better viewpoint of your hair from down there anyway before I judge it.”
“Like a good boy?” A dark smirk tugs at his face. “So now who’s the needy one?”
He lowers his head so that he’s leaving a trail of sloppy wet kisses down your neck to your collarbones. As you let yourself get carried away for a moment, you wrap your arm around his neck, pulling him backwards until you’re pressed up against the glass door. He ducks even lower, kissing just above your left breast and then catching your nipple between his teeth. You swallow thickly, rubbing your thighs together, reminding yourself to respond to him.
“It’s not my fault when you were busy for the past day,” You pout. “And the blue hair really is sexy.”
“Aha!” he straightens up in front of you suddenly, a crooked smug smile on his face. “So I’m not just hot. I’m sexy.”
“You’re literally always sexy. And beautiful too. It’s almost unfair.”
“That’s even better.”
You tug your fingers at his damp locks. When you speak, your voice is a mix between urgency and a whine. “Jungkook. I could’ve already gotten off with my hand at this point.”
“Ouch, feisty!” He pokes his fingers at your sides. Then, nipping a little more firmly on the soft skin of your breast, murmurs huskily, “Alright, alright. But only if you call me a good boy again.”
Part of him is taunting you, but there’s a small sliver of intrigue that makes the thought in his head and the pretty words on your tongue excite him to no end.
Still, you choose to entertain him, maybe a little drowsily and entirely consumed by him, “I will if you let me ride your face.”
A rumble of a chuckle resonates from him. You find him on his knees in the next moment, wedging himself between your thighs. He nudges one of your legs and you follow the wordless command, hitching one thigh over his shoulder as you settle back against the glass door of the shower. He kisses at your hips as he dips his head lower and lower to where you want him, before swiping his tongue at your cunt, tasting all of you at once.
“Mmm, Koo━” A soft whimper sounds from you, making his head swim.
He wastes no time in lapping at your folds, tongue delving into you deeper and deeper as he cranes his neck. The wetness that pools between your legs and on the tip of his tongue is a sticky mess that he basks in just a little longer.
“Fuck,” he groans into your pussy, “you taste so fucking good. Missed this so much.”
His hands are big as they come to hold you close, cradling your ass, your thighs, your hips, anything to pull you into him while simultaneously pushing your thighs further apart.
You manage to find your voice and quip weakly, “Missed me or having your head between my legs?”
“You, definitely,” he murmurs. He busies himself by reaching out with his thumb to press circles against your clit. Your mouth falls open in a silent moan, hips rutting into his face. “All of you.”
“Jungkook━ Fuck━”
He burrows further into you, humming in response. His nose brushes against your clit, the muscle of his tongue a pleasant wet that makes you warm all over. You give another experimental swivel of your hips, grinding against his tongue just right. He pinches at your hips as if to probe you onward, and then you do it again, and again, desperately rocking your hips back and forth against him. Your fingers reach out to grab a fistful of his hair, clutching it so tightly he hisses. But you’re right. The blue locks look dazzling between your legs, being pulled by your hands as you push him further into you.
His eyes meet yours from below your waist, hooded and idle, enjoying the view as you squirm and writhe above him, shamelessly riding his face. Grinding against his chin, nose, and tongue, the slick wetness you leave behind glistens on his skin.
“Ah, Koo━” You cry out. “Fuck, I’m gonna━!”
Your orgasm hits you violently, sending you keeling. Your hips continue with reckless abandon, and Jungkook presses his finger against your clit a little harder, a little faster. The abrupt gushing warmth between your thighs sends your mind spinning, as the steam from the shower and your panting breaths begin to fog the bathroom. When your hips begin to slow, Jungkook laps at the rest of your leaking core before pulling away with a grin brandishing his shimmering face. He lets you pull him up eagerly, clumsy hands fumbling to hold either side of his face as you tug at him.
“God, you’re so hot, babe,” he sighs wistfully, smothering your lips with his for an all too chaste kiss, before leaning in once more to nibble at your lower lip.
“Wanna feel you, Koo,” You prompt urgently. “Want you in me.”
Jungkook hastens to comply, his hands falling to your waist. “Go on, then. Turn around for me.”
You don’t need to be told twice. You spin so that you’re facing the glass sliding door, your back to him. You watch him over your shoulder, momentarily admiring his well built stature, the tattoos that ink his body, and the water that shimmers on his skin. He has to push his wet hair up and away when it falls across his forehead and then he reaches down to grasp at his length, grip tight around his shaft so that he can pump himself sluggishly a few short times. It’s almost painful to watch him jerk himself off in front of you, the tip a burning red and glistening. He catches you staring and decides to catch you off guard when he grabs a hold of your hips with one hand. He yanks you towards him, your ass pressed firmly against his hips, making you jump from the startle, and grins when you look back at him.
Then, ever so slowly, he runs the length of his cock along your folds. Before you can brace yourself for the overwhelming rush of pleasure, he’s sliding his cock past your folds, burrowing into you deep. He curses behind you, his other hand flying out to steady himself by digging into your hip.
“Fffuck. Shit.” He dips his head so that his cheek is resting against your shoulder and sputters for air. “Jesus, fuck━ Been dying to feel you all day.”
He fits so snugly in you, so perfectly, just like always and you take him so well, coaxed by your own arousal. He ruts his hips forward into yours and you nearly fall forward before catching yourself by pressing your palms to the glass. Then, he’s grinding against you, small and precise thrusts that roll into your hips.
“Mmm, Jungkook,” you choke out. “You feel so━ So good.”
“Ah, shit,” he hisses. “Wanna wreck you so bad.”
He angles his chest a little more, pummels his dick into you in such a way that he’s hitting a different spot in you. His eyes stay fixated on the soft, round flesh of your ass and the way his cock slips so easily into you, brows screwed in concentration, jaw clenched. The slight bounce of your ass each time he rolls his hips firmly against you, the way you ricochet forward each time in tandem with his moves. You bow your head, pressing your temple against the glass door now tinted with condensation, only marked up by the imprints of your fingers grasping at anything. It’s almost sweltering hot in the shower now but you both pay no mind to it. He fucks into you with such languid, steady strides, cock beginning to throb and twitch in anticipation. You feel so wet, such a pitiless mess between your thighs already that it makes him growl.
“H-Harder,” You mewl. “Oh, Koo━”
He almost slips behind you in his eagerness to obey, awakening something animalistic in him, a yearning to just release all the tension in his core. This time, he adapts a measured pace, forceful thrusts that have you crying out in delight each time. One hand reaches up to grip at your shoulder to steady himself while his other slithers around your front to grasp at your breasts, all wet and supple, pinching at your nipples.
“So good,” he moans, pressing sloppy kisses just below your ear. His breath is hot as he pants behind you, sending tingles down your spine. “Fuck━”
His voice is cut off by a whine, hips bucking forward in an unsolicited manner as he feels his high drawing near. You lean your head onto his shoulder, stretching your arm out so that you can tug desperately at his hair. It’s a silent, simple command, but it’s one that he immediately understands even without you speaking.
“Wanna feel you━” You whimper. “Wanna see you.”
Jungkook nearly slips as he fumbles to pull out of you, hissing at the loss of warmth and friction. As soon as you’ve turned to face him, he wastes no time in closing the distance between you. He pushes his leaking cock past your folds once more and continues at the same pace as if he had never even stopped to begin with.
“Fuck,” he whines. “Not gonna last━”
You wrap your arms around his neck, drawing him even closer to you, as he presses you against the glass. He hitches one of your thighs around his waist, spreading your legs just wide enough to hit a certain spot that has both of you crying out. You’re clinging so tightly to him, fingers digging harshly into his skin in an attempt to alleviate the building pressure you feel. He knows you’ve almost reached your end when you resort to a gasping, moaning mess, writhing beneath his broad stature.
“Close, baby?” he hums.
You open your mouth to respond but can only muster a whimper. His pace treads over to heedlessly frantic, the sound of skin against skin and the lewd wetness filling the shower. Despite his hips pounding into yours so harshly, his fingers flutter so delicately under your chin, grasping it and moving your head just enough so that you’re facing him.
“Lemme see you,” he grunts. “Wanna watch you when you cum all over my cock. Always so pretty.”
“I━ I’m━ Fuck, Koo━”
But you can’t finish your thought.
You keep your gaze fixated on Jungkook’s, however exhausted and weary it may be. Your lashes flutter, brows knit together, and you suck your lower lip between your teeth, biting so hard Jungkook’s certain you’ll bruise it. Another few hard thrusts and then you’re reaching your high, overcome by such an intense burning that you can’t help but look away out of instinct. You cry his name, face contorting in pure pleasure, and chest arching to meet his. You’re clenching so tightly around him has him sputtering for air, nearly collapsing entirely against you. You’re near dripping around his cock which only means he almost slips from you with each draw of his hips that he makes. It’s why he sloppily rocks his hips into yours, desperate to reach his own high as well.
When you return to your senses, blinking away your blurry vision, you can make out Jungkook cooing into your ear, “That’s it, baby. Doing so well.”
You meet his gaze once more, only this time you’re perhaps even more tired. Hooded eyes watch him, silently probing him to his climax. He comes tumbling towards it, a few more short thrusts of his hips and, finally, he’s there. He slams his hips up into yours one final time, crying out, and then he’s releasing into you in an overwhelming abrupt gush. Only he can’t quite enjoy it because, out of genuine accident and driven by impatience to just get off, the last jerk of his hips hits you a little too hard.
It’s what causes you to slip backward and he, so lost in his own reverie, hardly has a proper grip on you or where he’s standing. When you lose your footing beneath you, slipping on the wet porcelain of the tub, and comes crashing down, he’s brought along with you. “Oh, fuck━!”
The both of you yelp from the surprise, your hands flailing out to brace yourself for the fall.
Fortunately, you land on him when you reach the bottom of the tub, courtesy of him grabbing onto you last second so that he can soften the blow upon impact.
Unfortunately, the breath is knocked out of him from the startle and from the sudden added weight of you on top of him with no warning.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he groans.
“In hindsight,” You wince as you shift your weight above him, “maybe having sex in the shower again wasn’t the greatest idea. Remember last time when we knocked the shower curtain down and I had to get stitches on my elbow? It’s why we got the glass door installed, and then we had to lie to Tae about it.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me.” He tilts his head back, rubbing a hand over his face. Then, he flashes you an all too charming smirk. “Was kinda worth it though.”
You giggle, sounding so sweet and angelic, even despite the way his cum still leaks from you. Somewhere in the fall, his dick had slipped from you and now lays softening on his stomach which, really, is probably the worst part of the accident to him. He already misses the warmth of you wrapped around him, your mingling cum a dirty mess around him. You prop yourself up on his chest with your palms, but before you can even think to respond, you notice something out of the corner of your eye.
A small mass of fur in the shape of little Yeontan has just poked his head through the crack in the door, oblivious to you and Jungkook’s compromising position. And then, shortly following behind him, is his equally oblivious owner who must have forgotten something in the apartment to bring him back so suddenly.
“Tannie, get back here━ We gotta go━ Oh, Jesus, what the fuck?” Taehyung appears at the door for a millisecond before noticing the situation he’s just stumbled upon. Thankfully, he acts fast, and clamps a hand over his tainted eyes, clumsily scooping up Yeontan in his other hand. “Can you guys please stop fucking all over this damn apartment? My son’s eyes are too pure for this!”
And then he’s retreating, but not before bumping blindly into the doorframe, grumbling along the way. It’s silent for a moment as you and Jungkook gawk at one another; then you hear Taehyung leave the apartment once more, and the both of you dissolve into a fit of unabashed laughter.
“Are you okay?” You ask once you’ve calmed down enough as he reaches out to shut the shower off. You plant a kiss in your boyfriend’s hair. “You hit your head coming down.”
Jungkook’s heart swells at your gentle touches and smiles. “I’m fine,” he promises brightly. “You?”
“Well, you did just thoroughly fuck me, so━” You shrug innocently. “I’m kinda still too giddy to even care.”
“I’m gonna make it up to you,” he says. “For almost giving you a heart attack with my hair and for almost putting you in the emergency room again just now.”
The mention of his hair draws your attention to it once more. It’s not as wet as before, damp azure waves falling into his eyes that you brush away gingerly.
“Yeah,” You snort, “but I’ve decided I like your hair. Like, really like it.”
“Yeah?” he grins wide. “What was the deciding factor?”
You pause, as if to think for a moment. Exhaustion riddles your body and you know sleeping curled up next to Jungkook is nearing your future, but for now you let yourself entertain the last remnants of whatever lewd thoughts are still on yours and his minds before they fizzle away completely. You can’t help yourself anyway. The blue really is nice.
“Definitely the view of you eating me out,” You say. “And can’t forget how pretty it looks when I’m pulling at your hair.”
“Say no more,” he beams. “Then I’ll make it up to you by making you cum on my tongue again and again and again.”
The last thing he hears before he grabs at your cheek to softly pull you down to him for one last kiss, slow and ardent, is a bubbly giggle from you that delights him to no end.
“That’s a good boy.”
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shurisneakers · 3 years
Note
if you're taking ideas for harmless drabbles, i'd love to see one of bucky on one of those dates he mentioned and reader's shenanigans. if you aren't, feel free to ignore this!
a/n: are we really going to let a word limit define what a drabble is? is the vibe and spirit not enough? i say this bc this is 5.7k words long im so sorry. also hey thank you to everyone who piped in with their knowledge of violent geese and how apartment security works in new york!! also thanks to my bby @spiderrpcrker for reading this and telling me to publish this bc i wasnt going to fkjghfkj
warning: swearing, bad luck, dates, frustrated bucky, anxiety, mentions of gore but like only a sentence
here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333
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Catch up with the rest of the series here: Harmless Masterlist
Bucky returns only two weeks later. His mission lasted longer than expected and all he wants is to lie down and sleep for forty eight hours straight.
“FRIDAY?” he mumbles, kicking off his shoes. His jacket had already been discarded by his bedroom door when he walked in.
“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”
“How are ya?” He doesn’t miss a beat in asking, even though he’s exhausted.
“As good as ever. Did you have a successful mission?”
“If by successful you mean one sprained limb instead of two, then yeah.” He wasn’t really cribbing. His ankle was already starting to heal anyway and it was worth the roundhouse kick to a Nazi's face. “Do I have anything scheduled for this weekend?”
“You have a meeting on your calendar scheduled for this Saturday.”
“Could you send a text to Y/N and ask if we can push it to the next day?” His muscles feel sore and God, he could definitely use a hot shower but all of that becomes secondary the minute he feels the sheets under him.
“Would you like me to reschedule the other one as well?”
“What’s that?” He opens one eye in confusion. “There’s another one?”
“It’s on Sunday. You’ve labelled it ‘date’.”
Ah, fuck.
“Would you like me to change it?” FRIDAY never sounds like she’s judging him, which is nice. It also reminds him about how she, as an AI, can’t judge him, which is a rude wake-up call to how he doesn’t have friends.
“No,” his voice is muffled against the pillow, “no, let it be. Where is it again?”
“You’ve only specified diner, Sergeant Barnes.”
Public space, daytime, plenty of escape routes. Good on his less delirious self for selecting a diner.
“Thanks, FRIDAY.” Now that he’s a little more relaxed, he can feel himself slip in and out of consciousness.
“One last thing," her automated voice commands his attention again. "Y/N replied. She says sure and to take care.”
“Yay.” Not even a second later he’s out like a light.
____
“Did you bring me any souvenirs?” Is the first thing he hears as he marches into your lair.
“What could I possibly get you?”
“A postcard, a t-shirt.” You don’t look up from your tinkering.
“Decapitated finger, used bullets,” he continues, “cement blocks.”
“Ew.” You snap the lid shut on the thing you’re working on, spinning around on your chair. "That's not nearly romantic enough."
“That’s all you’re going to get from a Russian underground bunker.” He does a mini jog up the stairs of the platform to where you are.
“Does the finger have a ring at lea- oh hello?” You raise an eyebrow at the sight of him. “You look different.”
He peers down. The outfit was still all black. As always.
“Not your clothes, dummy,” you interrupt, making him look back at you. “Your face. What’d you do?”
He unconsciously raises a hand to his cheek.
“Did you wash your face? Is that it?” you squint at him. “Has it been a few months since the last time?”
“Wow, you’re so funny,” he drawls sarcastically.  “Top tier comedian right there.”
“No wait, it’s the beard.” You snap your fingers in realisation, completely ignoring his comment. “You trimmed it.”
“So what if I did?” He leans on your table.
“You going somewhere?” you ask, elastic snapping against your hands as you remove your gloves.
“It’s none of your busi-”
“Hold on a second.” A sly smile begins to make its way onto your face. “Are you going on a date, Bucky Barnes?”
His comeback dies down in his throat. That didn’t take you very long for you to figure out.
“I’m right, aren’t I?” You look smug, to say the least.
“Shut up.” A ray of light glistening distracts him. He traces it to the thing you were working on earlier.
“Where are you guys going?” You cross your arm across your chest, a small smirk on your face.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” It’s a silver box, engraved intricately with swirls that, when he observes carefully, looks like a skull. Wow, terrifying.
“I’m literally asking you.”
“What are those?” He shifts the conversation towards a more productive angle instead.
“Evil in a box and some other stuff.” You shrug offhandedly. “Is it a lunch date or just coffee?”
“Like Pandora’s Box?”
“A discount version, sure,” you confirmed impatiently. “Stop changing the topic, listen to me.”
He tilts his head, waiting for you to continue.
“Do you need a chaperone?” The sincerity in your voice for such a bullshit question has him scoffing.
“Good God- no, I do not need a chaperone. I’m 106 years old, I can go out unsupervised.” He reaches over and plucks the box off your table.
“Sir, you’re a geriatric."
“What are those?” He points to a few ray odd ray guns.
“Minor stuff you don’t have to worry about right now.”
He shakes the box in his hand. “What’s gonna happen if I open this?”
“Very bad things,” you whispered ominously before your volume returns to normal. “How’d you meet this person? Online?”
“She’s Natasha’s friend.” He turns the box over, seeing a small latch at the side. “What bad things?”
“Bad luck and misery. Don’t play with it, it’s dangerous.” You pull the box away from him. “Aw, is it a blind date?”
“Why do you care so much?” he shoots back, tugging the box back towards him.
“Just lookin’ out for you, Bucko,” you huff, adjusting your grip on your device. “Need to keep my favourite senior citizen safe.”
“I have a vibranium arm.” Whose force he could use to grab the box once and for all, but wasn’t. “I think I’ll be fine.”
“What if she has one too, huh? Then what?”
“She doesn’t.” As far as he knows, he’s the only one alive with a metal appendage made out of the strongest metal in the world. That could very well change by tomorrow but he's keeping the title for now.
“But what if she does? I swear to- stop trying to take the box!” You pull a little more forcefully, but he doesn’t relent.
“I want this to get over before this evening.”
“What time’s your date?”
“Why do you care?” He’s sure anyone who saw the dumb tug-of-war you both were playing would just automatically assume he was an absolute manchild, not an Avenger.
“Because.” You don’t explain further. “Tell me what time your date is, you weirdo.”
“Five o’clock, now let go.”
“Fine,” you say, suddenly loosening your grip. Clearly, it doesn't make much of a difference since he isn't struggling to keep his balance from the sudden loss of force.
“Fine.” He clears his throat, straightening up. 
You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either.
A putrid smell creeps into his nose, one all too similar to spoiled milk and decaying seaweed. He has to physically stop himself from gagging.
“Have a good day.” You smile and lean far back. Too far. It looks like you're almost going to fall out of the chair.
Through the tears that are threatening to line his eyelids, he looks down at the box whose latch you somehow managed to lift, leaving the box open.
“What the fuck is this?” He coughs, swatting at the air in front of him to clear it.
“I told you; bad luck in a box.”
“You can’t scientifically create bad luck, that’s bullshit.” He tosses the box back onto your table. You watch it slide past you, not making any effort to stop it. “What is it really?”
“I’m not lying.” You pull open a drawer, brandishing a small table fan that you set down beside you. “If you open it, you’re going to have terrible luck for the day.”
He glowers at you when you turn the fan on, forcing the fumes back towards him.
“Besides, that’s all I was doing today.” You kick your feet up. “So you can leave now.”
He doesn’t care if you’re lying about not having anything else to do today. You could burn down the world if you wanted to but he needs to take a stupid shower. Again.
“You’re the fuckin’ worst.” He tries airing out his shirt, hoping that the smell would dissipate as soon as possible.
“Have fun on your date, sarge!” you encourage him as he stalks out of the lair. “Remember to wrap it befo-”
He turns it into a sprint before you can finish.
____
Six hours later and he’s absolutely convinced he fucked up.
He isn’t used to having his weekends free.
He realises that this is the first time in months that he’s actually stepped out of the Tower for something that wasn’t directly mission-related. He should probably get some air. Touch some grass. See the sun.
His shirt thankfully manages to rid itself of the odour from the dumb box so he didn’t have to go take a shower. With nothing much planned and a few hours to spare, he heads to the coffee shop instead.
It’s a small place, bustling and alive with a crowd of people. They have a little bookshelf that usually is full of books donated by patrons, free for anyone to read.
The barista smiles at him. The coffee costs more than his high school education. He awkwardly smiles back.
He’s not a regular, but they’ve seen him enough times to know that he usually asks for black coffee in a to-go cup, later adding a sugar or two according to his own taste. They're nice to him, occasionally throwing in a cookie or something on the house. He can't tell if it's because of the Avenger status or the sizeable tip he leaves.
He picks up a random book from the shelf, fully intending not to read it but to just sit there and think. The book acted as a shield for his resting bitch face, resting murder face and his resting rage face. More often than not, a good combination of the three.
He sets the coffee down at the corner table he manages to nab in a quick second, along with the two sachets of sugar.
“Is this seat taken?” Someone asks from beside him. He earnestly shakes his head in a ‘no’, gesturing for them to take it.
They give him a quick thanks and drag the chair away from his table.
He does a quick overlook of the book he picked up.
The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot.
Well, now he’s too anxious to put it back. YA fiction it is.
He reaches for the sugar while glossing over the summary. He reaches a little further when it doesn’t come to his hand immediately, blindly running his fingers across the table.
Bucky peeks over the book, eyebrows knitting together when he notices that they’re missing.
He was sure he picked it up.
He looks underneath the table. It wasn’t there, neither under his seat. Strange, but okay. He picks up the book and the cup, walking back to the station to grab two sugars.
This time he makes sure to tuck it into his pocket, double-checking before going back to his table.
Which was now occupied. He wanted to groan.
His mind automatically reverts back to the box from that morning.
“Come on,” he scoffs quietly to himself. It was a coincidence. “Get yourself together.”
“A seat at the counter just cleared up,” the barista from earlier offers when she sees him standing in the middle of the store.
See? Good luck.
He shoots her a grateful look, venturing over to the barstool to take his place. It’s not the most comfortable, but then again, he wasn’t planning to stay there for very long.
He empties the sugar into the coffee, stirring slowly before opening a random page in the book.
He takes a long sip, ignoring how hot the drink was.
He chokes immediately. Because either he was losing his mind or his order had somehow got switched from ‘no sugar’ to ‘diabetes in a cup’.
He takes another small sip and his face immediately twists in disgust. Definitely too sweet. The sweetener he added only made it worse.
He catches the eye of the barista. She looks on in concern.
“Is everything okay?”
Fuck.
He’s not one to make a scene. He just wants to live as imperceptibly as he could.
“Yep.” The sweetness sticks to the back of his throat. “All good.”
He just closes his eyes and downs the rest of it without thinking twice, trying to hide the grimace in his face. He gives her a weak thumbs up. She doesn't look convinced.
He leaves the shop soon after, hands shoved in his pocket. Maybe he could go sit by the lake at Central Park, watch the clouds. It reminded Bucky of the lake in front of his hut in Wakanda and the hours he'd sit in front of it, feet dipped into the water as his goats fed. He misses it.
He makes a sharp turn at a corner, still thinking about his options when his ankle abruptly twists under him.
He stumbles rather ungracefully, almost hitting the ground, but manages to save himself through the newly built up immunity he has towards falling thanks to all his encounters with you.
His gaze lands on his hardcore combat boots. Their laces had come undone.
Now he just knew that was horseshit. He always double knots them; they had never loosened in the past before.
The box.
He shoves the thought out of his head, crouching down to tie them again. He tugs on them to make sure they’re secure before standing up again.
Central Park is a few blocks away but he’s glad he didn’t bring his bike. The weather was rather nice and the wind in his hair felt good.
He wanders around the park for a while, looking for the lake. He pauses at a board with a map of the park on it, assessing how far it was.
Once he's ascertained which path to go towards, he turns on his heel to go.
He fucking trips again.
“Are you serious?” he says furiously under his breath. “Cut it out.”
He’s half-convinced that he should tie it around his ankle like a sexy lace-up set of heels. He ties a triple knot this time, glares at it until he’s sure it’s fine and checks to see if anyone saw him humiliate himself.
Only a person on a nearby bench who looked like they were passed out drunk, given that their hoodie and sunglasses clad self was slumped over.
No witnesses. No 'You won't BELIEVE what the Winter Soldier did! Critics say it's his biggest blunder yet!' articles the next day on social media.
He manages to make it to the lake in one piece and no more falls, partly because he keeps his eyes fixed on his shoes to ensure no fuckery occurs.
There are a few people rowing and plenty of others lining the bank at scattered locations. There’s a mom and her kid at the place he ends up. She sends him a small smile in greeting and he returns the favour.
There’s a secluded bench that he takes a place on, letting out a small sigh. If he ignores the traffic and the skateboarders and the people in general, it’s actually kind of peaceful.
There are geese and their little goslings swimming around the water close to the shore. Maybe he should have brought some birdseed. Or kale.
The kid beside him is busy fashioning something out of leaves, only occasionally erupting into giggles when it doesn't pan out. His mom watches him fondly, pointing at twigs he could use. Everything seems kind of picture-perfect and his body automatically relaxes, easing further into the seat and closing his eyes for a second.
Until there's a large splash and loud distressed honking. He whips his head around to find the same kid staring straight ahead at the goose with a wide grin. His mother curses quietly, picking herself up off the ground and grabbing his hand, half chastising him for throwing something at an animal and half urging him to walk faster.
The goose turns to Bucky. With no one else to blame for the sudden attack, it logically launches itself at him. His smile drops.
He gets up in a rush. The dumb bird nearly comes for his head, but he deflects with his metal arm.
“I didn’t even do anything.” He swats at it swiftly, trying not to cause any real damage. The goose, understandably, does not speak English.
He flinches when one of them bites at his knee. He can punt it to the sun but he doesn’t want to.
“Stop that.” He sticks his hand out to shove the stupid thing away, retreating back to the road. “Jesus, why are you so aggressive?”
Among the barrage of feathers showering on him, he prays his damn shoelace doesn’t unravel as he shields his head with one arm, the other fending himself while he moves hurriedly away.
The goose honks angrily at him. He scowls at it, not exactly pleased with the reminder that these fucking overgrown ducks were constantly bloodthirsty.
It doesn’t leave him alone till he’s significantly away from where he was sitting. He wants to call it profanity but that’d probably piss it off more.
The box and its effects were definitely starting to feel real.
Fuck it, no more day out for him. The best plan he can think of is to just go to the diner he’s supposed to meet his date at.
The waiter greets him with a courteous nod, which Bucky can only imagine was the best he could muster when a dishevelled 200-pound man walks in covered in goose feathers and irritation.
He won't admit that he’s too scared to eat lunch at this point because he can’t rule out food poisoning. He spends the next two hours on his phone playing Fruit Ninja and plucking feathers that accented his all-black outfit.
Several glasses of water later and a second before he’s about to beat his high score, someone taps on his shoulder, breaking him out of his concentration.
Motherfu-
He clenches his eye shut, inhaling deeply before turning around.
“James?”
“Hey, yeah, that’s me.” Bucky almost falls over the table with how fast he stands up, clearly underestimating his size. “Leah?”
“Hi.” She smiles and he finds himself smiling nervously along with her.
“Hi.” He steps out to pull out her chair for her and she laughs. "Nice to meet you."
“How long have you been waiting here?” she asks while setting down her bag.
“Around ten minutes.” He clears his throat to hopefully hide the fact that he was lying through his teeth.
“Just give me a second, I need to tell my friend I reached,” Leah pulls out her phone and he nods.
“Another glass of water for you?” The waiter seems less enthusiastic about Bucky’s 8th refill.
“Yes,” he answers, hoping he doesn’t call him out on it, “please.”
“You must be really dehydrated."
Bucky turns to look at him slowly. “I like the taste.”
He can’t really blame the guy. Bucky’s been there for hours without ordering anything solid, just leaching off their free water and complimentary bread basket.
“So, James.” She tosses her phone back into her bag, leaning forward on her palms easily. “Tell me about yourself.”
He had rehearsed this a million times. He could do this.
“I, uh,-”
“Menu?” Okay, so someone clearly had a vendetta against him.
“Thank you.” She takes it with a smile.
His morning debacle with the coffee flashes through his mind. Suddenly the idea of a diner didn’t seem so smart.
However, she’s already placed her order and George is standing beside him expectantly, daring him to ask for another glass of water, so he places his usual order and hopes that your stupid bad luck thing wore off.
He quickly learns that his date is laid back, and it isn’t hard to fall into a rhythm with her even though she’s the one asking most of the questions.
“How’d you meet Nat?” Is his attempt at one.
“She used to come in for lunch every week at the place I work.” Leah leans back in her chair. “She can really handle her alcohol.”
He’d be worried about Nat day drinking if he didn’t know about her complete inability to get drunk. She might as well have been downing glasses of lemonade.
“Yeah, she’s-” Intimidating, scary, cool “-really something.”
“She mentioned that you like movies.”  He definitely spends a lot of time watching them. “You got any recommendations?”
It’s easier to figure out how different things are or how much he missed out over the years through them. He’s glad he sat out the early 2000s, judging by their fashion sense and hairstyles.
He's watched several movies over the past few months, a few of them critically acclaimed and others who were just there for the cult following.
But now everything goes blank and the only thing that he can remember are the biopics made about Steve that were somehow hilarious for gifting him the mental image of Freddie Prinze Jr. dressed in the stars and stripes, and highly distressing for the number of historical inaccuracies. Contrary to popular belief, Stevie did not, in fact, consider running for president after he took up the shield, nor did he start his own bar chain.
He can’t name Oh Captain, My Captain starring Channing Tatum as his favourite movie on his first date and hope to make a good first impression.
“Despicable Me was kinda fun.” He wants to kill himself. “I mean, it’s the last one I saw.”
Her face twists in mild disgust, but he can tell it isn't ill-intentioned. “It's a good movie, but God, that just gave me some intense flashbacks to my aunt’s Facebook page. Don’t think I can look at a minion ever again.”
He sniggers with her. He doesn’t know what the context is.
He’s a little awkward, and he can definitely tell he isn’t the most open book but she laughs at some of his attempts at jokes. There’s a distinct discomfort he has lingering at the back of his mind prodding at him, telling him over and over again that he isn’t ready for something like this. A warning bell, asking him to leave as soon as possible because he was in a dangerous situation.
He remembers what his therapist told him about breathing and remembering that the resources he had available were greater than his anxiety and he tries to get out of his head. It takes a few minutes of acting like he's fine but he manages to do it.
Other than the one time he scalds his tongue on the coffee but played it off with a pained smile, shoving down thoughts of your stupid invention, things actually went okay.
It was nice, even though they decided by the end that it was better if they both gelled together better as friends. It lifts the strange fear he feels and he can hear Dr. Mendoza say she's proud of him for taking this step before spending three hours psychoanalysing why they decided to stay platonic.
Bucky promises to visit her sushi shop with Nat soon and she says a bottle of sake awaits him for a drinking game. He doesn’t have the heart to tell her that Nat and he share the same tolerance for alcohol.
He makes sure to leave George a tip. A big one. It’s the first time he sees the guy smile the entire evening.
He’s waving goodbye to Leah outside and he thinks that maybe it was a good end to the day and that things actually turned out fine.
Until he turns around to leave, only to have someone walk straight into him with an iced tea.
The cold comes as a bit of a shock, making him jump slightly. He stares at his shirt, using his fingertips to pull it away from his body.
The person melts into a series of apologies immediately, offering to dry clean his shirt but Bucky just forces a shake of his head and says it’s okay even though he can feel the sugar making the shirt stick to his chest. Goose feathers and iced tea. Was there anything else that would like to attach itself to him?
His fists clench and his teeth grit and he has to physically control himself from sprinting to your lair because God knows what else is in store for him and he didn't want to add in any way.
The door to the lair is locked. Fuckin’ brilliant.
When no one answers after minutes worth of waiting, he fishes for his phone and realises that maybe two hours of Fruit Ninja was not the best idea, especially on a phone known for having shitty battery life.
There’s roughly 2 percent left. By the time he opens his app to give you a call, his phone screen goes black.
He groans. He’s desperate at this point and under any other normal circumstances, he would have never, ever considered doing this.
But ten minutes later he’s outside your apartment building. You’re aware that he has your address; no doubt that it was in the SHIELD file he had gotten, and he knows that you know but it was still weird.
The buzzer has your last name listed next to it. He’s sure that he’ll break it if he keeps pressing it at this rate but he really needs you to let him in.
“Who the fu-” your voice comes through the intercom.
“I’m sorry for showing up like this, my phone died and I couldn’t reach you,” He breathes out as soon as he hears you. “But I need you to fix this.”
When he doesn’t hear a reply, he wonders if the thing actually worked. He’s about to start pressing it again-
“Bucky?” You sound a little surprised to hear him. “You’re at my house. Why are you at my house?”
“I need you to fix whatever this is.”
“What are you- fine, I’m buzzing you in,” your voice, initially confused soon trails off into something more dismissive.
There’s a soft click from the door, allowing him to push it open. The elevator is already on the same floor as him so he just uses that.
The elevator goes up a floor or two. His feet tap restlessly against the carpeted floor.
The lights turn off and everything comes to a standstill. His foot stops tapping.
He should have known. He should have fucking known.
Thirty seconds pass. He’s still in pitch darkness with the elevator showing no signs of moving.
In fact, he’s resigned to his fate. He sits down on the ground, only one step away from completely laying down and hoping someone finds his body here someday.
It’s six minutes of plain silence. He might as well get comfortable if he’s going to get stuck here for the rest of his life. Did he change his will? Does he even have a will?
There’s finally a whir. He thinks that maybe he’s going to plummet to his doom as the perfect end to this day, but then the light switches on and it starts moving upward.
It stops at the floor with a ding. He doesn’t get off the ground, only eyes the door wearily. With his luck, it wouldn’t open.
But it does and within a second he’s on his feet, scrambling to get out before it changes its mind.
He remembers your door number, basically charging down the hall to get to it.
The door is white and the paint is starting to chip off it. The handle itself is dented in a few places and he wonders if it was your fault or someone else's.
His knocks are rapid, agitated even. He doesn’t stop until he hears your loud shouts telling him to cut it out.
“What the hell were you doing, trying to break down my door?” It swings open, revealing you in your pajamas. “Haven’t you done that already? And where were you, I’ve been waiting for like, ten minutes.”
He honestly feels bad for showing up uninvited and highly flustered. He can’t imagine it’s a pretty sight either. "This bad luck shit- fix it. My whole day’s been fucked up.”
“What are you-” Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, taking in his appearance.
It takes you a second to realise what he’s talking about but when you do, your face settles.
“How was your date?” You lean against the door frame, arms crossed over your chest.
“Really,” He glowered at you, “that’s what you care about?”
“Yes.” You nod. “Did you have fun?”
He hesitates. “I guess?”
“Was she nice?”
“Yeah.” Where was this going.
“Good, I’m happy for you.” The smile on your face is genuine. “Look at you go, Casanova.”
“We agreed to be just friends, but that’s not the point here. Y/N,” he whines. “I have a mission next week, I can’t afford to fuck up. My whole day was off and I don’t want it to carry over.”
“Your whole day?” you questioned, standing up instead of leaning against the wall. “Buck-”
“Just fix it.”
“Okay.” You lift your hand up, extending it towards his face.
He waits for you to do something.
You flick him on the forehead.
“There,” you declare, going back to your previous position. “you’re cured.”
What.
He says exactly what he’s thinking.
You laugh. “Dude. I was fucking with you.”
Huh?
“Well, actually maybe just like, three things and then I got bored.”
He’s confused.
“You know,” you begin when he doesn’t reply, “taking the sugar packets, switching your coffee order when you were looking under the table, took your place when you left, the shoelaces.”
“The shoelaces?”
“Yeah.” You nod. “That’s the other ray gun you saw this morning. Unties your shoelaces. I stopped after that because I thought you figured it out.”
His face scrunches in puzzlement.
“I mean, you looked right at me and told me to cut it out.”
He racks his brain about what you could possibly be talking about before it hits him. The hungover person on the goddamn bench in the park.
“You were the one in the hoodie and sunglasses.”
“I just followed the Avengers’ code of disguise.” You shrug. “Turns out it kinda works. Also teleportation. So helpful.”
He forgot about the teleportation. That's why you could do all of it so fast without him noticing you were even there.
“What about the fucking geese?”
You pause for a second. “The geese?”
“And the elevator.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” The confusion on your face is apparent. “What geese and elevator? I have no idea what you’re saying right now.”
“Everything’s been a mess today,” he grumbles. “I don’t know what’s real or not.”
“I swear I had nothing to do with it other than what I mentioned.” There’s indignation on your features that quickly gives way to delight. “Holy shit, did I just accidentally invent portable bad luck?”
“Okay-” his palm finds its way to his forehead in exasperation, “-then what the hell was the smell?”
“What smell- oh, the one from the box?”
He nods briskly.
“Secretions Magnifique.” You snorted. “It’s a perfume. The worst rated one I could find.”
“Perfume?”
“With notes of milk, seaweed and sandalwood.”
“It wasn’t an inator?”
“No, it wasn- did you get vibe checked by a goose at the park?” You stifle a laugh when you notice a stray feather on his thigh.
“What does that even mean?” he asks in despair.
“I can see why it attacked you. You got bad juju.” You raise an eyebrow. “Maybe if you stop staring so much-”
“So I just have shit luck.” Is that a fucking relief or even worse?
“Well,” you begin but decide not to continue.
Even with all the irritability masking it, you could see that he genuinely was just not having a good time.
“Wait here a second.”
You leave him at the door. He shifts his balance and sighs, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He still had to walk back to the Tower. Maybe he could grab a slice of pizza along the way since he skipped lunch.
“Okay, here.” You return with a large glass of water. He only looks at it. “It’s just water, I promise. You look like you ran a marathon."
He takes it from you sceptically, pushing away the urge to sniff at it. It’s gone within a few gulps.
You wait until he’s finished to point at his arm. He draws his eyebrows together, but you only curl your index finger and beckon for him to give you his hand.
He reluctantly extends it towards you.
“Don’t laugh,” you warn him, taking his metal arm. “This usually helps me.”
You tie a small bracelet around his wrist. It has a few beads, which he realises represent the colours of the solar system.
“Keep that for good luck.” You pat it gently after securing it. “I think you just had a bad day; those don’t last very long. Do you want to charge your phone before you leave?”
“Uh-” The bracelet’s pretty, the colours shine against the dark vibranium. “-no, I’m good. I’ll just leave.”
“Okay. Anything else I can help you with or will you be fine?”
He narrows his eyes. “You’re being suspiciously nice.”
“I’m not evil all the time.” You huff. “My hours are in the morning.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” he says again. “I’m gonna go then.”
“See you next week.” You give him a little wave. “I’d say break a leg on your mission but knowing your situation...”
He scoffs. “Thanks.”
You make a move to close the door when starts walking down the hallway towards the exit.
He adjusts the beads slightly so he can see them better. The Earth one has glitter in it. He thinks it’s cute.
“Bucky.”
He turns around.
There’s a hint of a smile on your face.
“Take the stairs.”
He doesn’t have to be told twice.
Next part
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kingexpl0sionmurder · 3 years
Text
Body Electric - Kaminari Denki - Smut
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Author: @kingexpl0sionmurder Pairing: Kaminari Denki/F!Reader Rating: 18+ (contains smut) Words: 5,491 Warnings: Sex work (Cam boy/girl), Quirkless AU, Aged-up Adult characters (someone is in grad school! wow!), mentions of masturbation (both male and female), mentions of casual ShinKami, established KiriBaku, Idk they are all just really sexually liberated and don’t care about watching each other cum. Is that voyeurism? I’m bad at tagging things. Title taken from a Lana Del Rey song. AN: Another BNHarem collab piece! The theme was sex work, and I have wanted to do a camboy Denki for a long time so here we go. This was really smutty in my head but Denki makes me soft and it turned out really cute in the end, I’m sorry? He’s such a dork I feel like any sexual encounter with him would just turn out like this in some way, idk.  Thanks to @unbreakablekiribaku​ and @sailorsero​ as usual for being supportive of me. Happy birthday to @lady-bakuhoe and @burnedbyshoto​ 🎂🎂 There is no one else I would rather be birthday triplets with!
Please check out the Collab Masterlist: HERE Look 👀 at My Masterlist: HERE Buy me a Kofi if you’re scared of clowns too: HERE
---
Sighing, you sat up on your elbows, squinting at the chat on the screen, willing your heart to stop pounding and your breath to even out. The donations were pouring in, the chat moving so fast you couldn’t even read it. “Alright, lovelies, I hope you enjoyed that. Be right back and we’ll chat a little bit, okay?”
Donations popped up, the chat slowing a little as the clients who only came to jerk off to you left, leaving those who considered themselves true fans. You stood and made your way to the bathroom to pee, rinsing your toy off in the sink and washing your hands. You went back to your room, pulling on a hoodie and settling in front of the screen again.
“Alright, I’m back! I have some time for a few questions and then I have to go for the night. Let me see what we got!” You scanned the chat, ignoring the normal inappropriate questions. Mindfucker:  Do you know who Chargebolt is? Cause I heard he watches your stream.
Your heart, which had finally slowed to a normal rhythm, picked up again. You most definitely knew who Chargebolt was. You gave him a good amount of money from your donations when you watched his cam shows yourself. “I do actually, he’s pretty popular on here, isn’t he?” You sat back a little, furrowing your brows. “How do you know he watches me?”
RedDaddy: He did a Q&A and mentioned your channel! Told everyone to check you out.
You recognized the names of the viewers and knew they were also regulars on Chargebolt’s streams as well, so you believed them. Chargebolt was gorgeous and funny, just your type. The knowledge that he was interested in you enough to watch you get off on camera was flattering. You hoped your blush wasn’t showing on your face. 
“I’m surprised he knows who I am!” You had missed the last Q&A he’d done, since it hadn’t been on his normal streaming day, and you’d been stuck at work late. Leaning forward again, you bit your lip, looking into the camera from under your lashes. “Can I tell you guys a secret? I watch him, too. Why do you think I never do shows on Thursdays? That’s Chargebolt day.” With a wink you sat back, trying to will the blush from your cheeks. Mindfucker: I knew it! I bet he’s watching right now. You smiled, shrugging. “I hope he enjoyed the show, then!” You tried to hold it together, suppressing the urge to burst into a fit of giggles at the thought, answering a few more silly questions from your regulars, before signing off for the night, promising to be back again the following week.
You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, leaning your head back and groaning. It was wild that the guy whose cam shows you watched on the regular, the one who had inspired you to start your own, who you thought of half the time when you were filming yourself getting off on camera for strangers, knew who you were and was one of your viewers. 
It brought you down a whole rabbit hole for a second, wondering if he got off on you getting off. Why else would he watch? Did he ever donate? You assumed he had a secondary account so you wouldn’t know it was him even if you tried to look at your past viewers, just like you had a secret account so you could watch him as well. 
Cracking your eyes open, you clicked to view the donation tallies for the evening. You’d made enough to pay the rent on your apartment for the month in just one night. Sometimes you wondered how you ever managed to survive before you started doing this. It was meant to be a temporary side job, but you’d been running this cam channel under the screen name Neko for over six months, and you had clawed your way out of debt in such a short time, it didn’t make sense for you to stop.
You viewed a few more visitor stats with interest, before logging off the computer and shutting the laptop. You had to get to sleep for your real job in the morning, so you figured it was time for bed, pushing thoughts of Chargebolt to the back of your mind for now.
It wasn’t until later when you were lying down to sleep, that you thought of him again. Your eyes closed as you ran through a scenario in your head, wondering if he would mention you on Thursday, and what would come of all this? You had noticed your viewer numbers had spiked that day, so it was definitely beneficial that you’d caught his eye. You just weren’t sure what would happen next.
--
Denki was grinning into the camera, wiping the cum off of his abs with the towel he kept beside him, his chest and cheeks flushed pink. He adjusted in his chair, tugging the toy out of his hole and chucking it to the side, pulling his boxers back up over his softening cock. “I hope it was as good for you as it was for me, babes.” 
He chuckled at the comments flooding the chat as he reached for his water and took a sip. 
Tapeman: As always, you never disappoint me, Chargebolt.
“Hey thanks, Tapeman! I appreciate you always coming to hang out...get it? Coming?”
Mindfucker: Ridiculous.
“Aw, you love me, Mindfucker.” He winked at the camera. “So, did you guys enjoy my Q&A the other day?”
The chat filled with praise, making him grin. He loved to talk to his fans, and sometimes they had some great questions for him. He knew a lot of people just watched him as a way to get off, but he liked to give a little piece of himself to them because he knew that most of the people who watched were probably lonely, and he wanted to help with that in some way. He kept things laid back, joking and laughing with his viewers before and after the show, taking requests and doing his best to remember some of the regulars. Some of the few who had been with him from the beginning he’d made into moderators to help with keeping things somewhat orderly in the chat. Some of them he actually knew in real life, like his roommate Hitoshi, who used the alias Mindfucker.
Mindfucker: So are we going to talk about Neko? Denki’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, you mean the stream the other day? It was…” He made the appropriate motion as he said it. “Chef’s kiss, immaculate. She’s so beautiful…” Trailing off, he let himself think back to the way your chest heaved and the face you made when you came. “I would do anything for her, man.”
RedDaddy: Dude, I agree! She’s also super sweet, like, the total package.
Sighing, he leaned his elbow on the desk, his cheek resting on his palm. “I am a simp, my guy.” He sat up, squinting at the chat. “She said she watches, right? Is she here right now?” He scanned the names of the viewers, frowning. “She probably has a second account. Well, if you’re here, Neko, you should hit me up. I read all of my DM’s okay?” He grinned, winking again. “Alright, I have to go feed the cats so I’m outie 5000, thanks for hanging out and I’ll see you guys next week!”
He said his goodbyes, ending the stream and sighing. He wiped off his toy with the towel and clicked through his stats for the day, smiling at some of the comments that came with the donations. Hitoshi came into his room a few minutes later, holding one of the cats, an orange tabby named Miso, in his arms. “I fed them, you don’t have to.”
Was it weird that his roommate watched him fuck himself on toys and jerk off on the internet on a weekly basis? Nope. Denki had forgone all sense of modesty when it came to sex a long time ago, and Hitoshi was the same. It helped that they fucked around on occasion, best friends who got lonely and lived together sometimes did that, he guessed. Or maybe they were weird. It was whatever, he didn’t like to think about it too much. 
“What would I do without you, Toshi?”
“Kill the cats, probably.” He deadpanned, leaning in the doorway. “Burn all the toast you try to make, buy the wrong peanut butter, eat Cheese-Itz for breakfast every day, forget to pay the cable bill.” He raised his eyebrows. “I can keep going.”
“Fuck off, I got the all-natural peanut butter once, it was an accident!” Denki threw his soiled towel into the laundry basket by the closet and picked up the toy he’d used, waving it around a bit. “Did you enjoy the stream?”
Hitoshi snorted, eyeing the dildo warily. “I didn’t really watch, I had my eye on the chat. I was looking for Neko.”
“Man, I can’t believe she’s a fan!” He waved the dildo some more, watching as it jiggled. “I would let her do unspeakable things to me.”
“Look out, your sub is showing, Denki.” Hitoshi teased. “But I agree, she’s pretty great. I wonder if she’ll ever do private shows.” Pausing to scritch Miso behind the ears, he continued. “I’m sure they’d be in high demand.”
Denki stood, pointing at Hitoshi with the dildo. He really needed to put it down somewhere and stop brandishing it around like a sword. “Don’t even, I’d spend all my money on that girl.” 
“I know you would.” He chuckled. “I did try to go through the usernames and see if I could find out who she could be, but I didn’t have any luck.”
“It’s okay! I’m leaving it up to fate now, man. If the universe wants us to know each other, we will.” He stuck his thumb towards the ensuite. “I’m going to wash my ass and then we can play Among Us if you want.”
Hitoshi, completely unphased as usual, nodded. “I’ll get a team together. Check the discord when you get out.”
Humming, Denki made his way to the bathroom, picking up his phone on the way. It buzzed as he closed the door, and he glanced down to see he had a message from his other moderator and friend, Eijirou, aka RedDaddy. Tossing the dildo in the sink, he looked down at the screen and opened the message.
Eiji: No luck on finding Neko on the stream, but she said she never misses a Thursday, so I bet she was there.
Denki: Thanks for keeping an eye out, man. I appreciate you. Among us in 30?
Eiji: Bet. I’ll ask Kats to play too.
--
Your next stream day had you feeling nervous. Chargebolt had talked directly at you on his last stream, asking you to slide into his DMs, and you had yet to take him up on it. You didn’t know what you were so scared of, Chargebolt was a nice guy. You chalked it up to the fear of the unknown. If you sent him a message, what would you even say? ‘Hey dude, nice cock?’ It was bound to be a disaster.
Pushing your nerves back down, you made sure you were ready for your stream, excited for the news you were about to drop on your viewers. You were needing a little extra cash due to some unfortunate car trouble, and you’d figured out a way to make up what you needed in record time.
“Hey everyone, welcome!” You smiled at the camera, waving your fingers. “Thanks for coming! I see a lot of familiar names here tonight. Hi Mindfucker, Dynamight, RedDaddy, Tapeman, LightningMcQueen!”
LightningMcQueen: Hey, beautiful! I’ve been looking forward to this all week.
Dynamight: Chill out, McQueen, you look desperate.
RedDaddy: Be nice, Dynamight. Hi, Neko!
Dynamight: Fuck off, Shittyhair.
Mindfucker: How’s your cat, Neko?
“Be good, Dynamight. You’re lucky I know you don’t mean that!” You giggled at the antics of your regulars, smiling at the question about your cat. “Ichigo is doing good, Mindfucker, thanks for asking! I’ll bring her on camera after the show if you want to say hi!”
Minfucker just sent a cat emoji and you laughed, shaking your head. “I’m beginning to think that you’re just here for Ichigo and not me.”
The chat went crazy with people denying it, telling you how much they loved watching you every week. You lit up, feeling more excited about your news.
“So I have something I want to discuss before we get started today. I’ve decided I want to try out doing some private shows, so I’m going to be offering up a few spots. I’m going to give some of my longest and most frequent supporters a shot first, and if all goes well, then I’ll open them up to the rest of you! I’ll be adding a signup link at the bottom of my page after tonight’s stream, so if you’re interested you can apply and I’ll pick a few of you and we’ll work out a schedule! How does that sound?”
Dynamight: McQueen already has his credit card ready I bet.
“Aw, you don’t want to play with me, Dynamight?” You teased, giving the camera your best pout.
Dynamight: You couldn’t handle me, Princess.
LightningMcQueen: Hush. You’re a bottom, Dyna.
Dynamight: Die you fucking extra.
LightningMcQueen: Love you too, blasty.
“I was going to let you pick the toy today, Dynamight, but if you can’t behave then I’m just going to have to let someone else have a turn.” You gave the camera a disapproving look, frowning. You’d picked up that these guys were friends, so you knew they were just messing with each other.
A donation popped up from Dynamight with a comment attached. 
Let McQueen choose this time, babe.
“It looks like Dynamight is going to let you choose, McQueen. Which one?” You pulled over the box you kept your toys in and showed it to the camera. “Pick a color.”
LightningMcQueen: Yellow
You pulled the yellow silicone out of the box and showed it to the chat, smirking. “I call this one Chargebolt because it’s the same color as his hair. Are you sure this is the one you want me to use?”
--
When your stream ended, Denki leaned back in his chair, taking a deep breath. The fact that he’d watched you fuck yourself with a dildo that you’d named after him was the hottest thing he could have imagined. He was jealous of that piece of bright yellow silicone more than he should be. He’d still enjoyed it, if the mess across his abs and chest were any indication. 
He cleaned himself up and pulled on a shirt, clicking on the link for the private show signup. It was pretty straightforward, listing the price and how long the show would be, and asking for his username and what he would be interested in doing or seeing and what day would work best.
Staring at the form for a moment, he contemplated his options. He could sign up with his LightningMcQueen account, and he might have a chance. He was the first one out of his friends to find your channel one night when he was bored and horny. Then he’d shown it to Hitoshi and then shared your info with Eijirou, Katsuki, and Hanta. He would be considered one of the longest and loyal viewers like you had said.
However, if you got a request from Chargebolt? What would you do? Would you ignore it? 
“Toshi!” He called out, knowing his roommate would hear him without him having to get up. “I’m having a crisis!”
The door opened, and the purple-haired man stood in the doorway. “I am not prepared to handle your bi panic right now, Denki.”
“Are you going to put in for a private show from Neko?” Denki pushed on, ignoring his friend’s exasperation. 
“I spoke that into existence last week, you know. You’re welcome.”
Flopping back in his chair, Denki closed his eyes. “Should I send in the request with this account or with the Chargebolt one?”
Hitoshi shrugged, watching their cat Sashimi wander into the room. “You’ve wanted to talk to her for ages, man. You could have messaged her forever ago and you wouldn’t be playing this game with her. Sign up with your actual account.”
“I mean, she must think I’m cute, right? Otherwise, she wouldn’t watch.” He sat up, logging out of his secondary account and into his main one. He had a few unread DM’s, so he clicked, his breath catching in his throat. “Dude, look.”
There was a message from you, short but sweet.
Hi, Chargebolt. I don’t know if you saw the stream today, but you should check it out if you haven’t. I left it up for you.”
“She wants you to see her use that dildo she named after you.” Hitoshi patted his shoulder, and then bent down to pick up Sashimi. “I signed up but I told her I just wanted to have a date with her cat. She probably won’t pick me.”
“She will, she loves cats.” Denki clicked on your page and scrolled down to the bottom where the signup was again, letting it populate his main account in the information, and writing ‘any day except Thursday’ in the section for the time that worked for him. “I’m going to get this girl to date me, just you watch.”
Snorting, his roommate closed the door behind him as he left. “I believe in you, Pikachu.”
Once his request was submitted, he went back to his DM’s and sent you a message back.
“I was there, Neko. I never miss a stream. I submitted for a private show, so I hope you’ll pick me. I’ve been one of your viewers since the beginning, you know.”
---
In your head, you tried to plan what you would say once you were face to face (via camera) with the one and only Chargebolt. Everything your brain seemed to come up with fell short. What did you say to this guy, who you’d been simping over for over 9 months, who lit up your screen every Thursday with terrible puns and panty-dropping smiles? You knew exactly what he looked like and sounded like when he came. It was a strange thing to think that you knew that but you’d never actually spoken to him before.
It made you feel a little better when you realized he knew just as much about you. That he watched you fuck yourself on a dildo you’d named after him, and then spent the rest of the stream showing off your fluffy white cat Ichigo. 
It was time to put on your big girl panties. You could do this. 
Chargebolt had been one of the few that you’d chosen to do these shows with. He was also the last one. You’d met with 4 others, the ones who were the most active in your chat, the ones you assumed were actually friends. 
Your first one was with Tapeman, who asked you to call him Sero. He was cute, with the widest, prettiest smile you’d ever seen. He made you laugh, and called you beautiful, and spoke to you in Spanish. You didn’t feel uncomfortable once with him, and the experience gave you hope that the rest would be just as nice.
Mindfucker was next, whose name was Shinsou and lowkey your favorite one. He didn’t want anything sexual at all, which surprised you. You sat with him and drank tea and you got to meet his two fur children, Miso and Sashimi, while he told you about his roommate. You let him admire Ichigo, and talked about music. He was sarcastic, but not in a mean way, and you were pretty sure he was going to be your new best friend.
RedDaddy and Dynamight had asked to do theirs together since they were dating. You wanted to question why they both watched your stream but RedDaddy, who was actually named Kirishima, answered it for you.
“We’re both bi, and we think you’re cute!”
“Yeah, plus McQueen has a thing for you so we like to be in the chat to help him out.” Dynamite, aka Bakugou, added in his gruff voice, folding his arms across his chest.
“Aw, that’s sweet!” You smiled at them. “He didn’t request a private show though, so I guess he doesn’t like me that much.”
Bakugou coughed and Kirishima grinned. “Maybe he was nervous! I’m sure you’ll meet him in one of these someday!”
“Enough about that dumbass.” Bakugou leaned forward, his hand on Kirishima’s knee. “Give us a show and we’ll give you one in return. Use that orange and green one for me, Princess.”
And give you a show they did. You got lost in how they looked at each other while they jerked each other off, and you were pretty sure they forgot you were even there at some point. When it was over, you suggested that they start their own channel.
Bakugou scoffed, but you could tell he was blushing a bit.
“I don’t know, Neko. I don’t think I could share him with anyone else. Except you, you’re the exception.” Kirishima grinned, winking at you.
But now it was Chargebolt’s turn. You made sure you had everything you needed, making sure Ichigo was out of the room, and then signed into your account. 
Chargebolt was online, so you made the private room and sent him the request. You felt like you were shaking, and you checked yourself in the camera to make sure you didn’t look like a wreck.
You barely had time to breathe before he entered the chat, his camera screen coming to life and showing you his smiling face. You melted a bit, biting your lip, gazing at how attractive he was. 
“Hey, Neko!” Chargebolt was as vibrant as ever, tucking his hair behind his ears, the black lightning bolt in his hair dark against the bright yellow of the rest of it.
“It’s nice to see you, Chargebolt.” You tried to relax, rolling your shoulders back. “It’s kind of weird knowing you can see me too.”
He laughed, leaning back in his chair. You tried not to stare at his arms in the tank top he was wearing. Chargebolt had a small frame, but his muscles were defined. You’d seen him plow through an entire bag of chips on stream once, without pausing to breathe, so you assumed he must be one of those people with amazing metabolism that you envied. “You can call me Denki if you want, kitten.”
You choked on air at the nickname, trying to compose yourself. “Kitten?”
“Well, Neko means cat, doesn’t it?” He raised an eyebrow. “I won’t call you that if you don’t like it.”
“No!” You practically shouted. “No, I mean, it’s fine. I like it.”
“Sweet.” He grinned. “Man, I’ve wanted to get you alone like this for so long, and now I’m just feeling really nervous.”
“You’re nervous?” You were surprised. The always cool but super dorky Chargebolt was nervous because of you? “So am I.”
Chargebolt- sorry, Denki, rested his elbow on the desk, propping his head in his hand. “Well, glad to know I’m not the only disaster here. I’ve been trying to get the courage to talk to you for months, and then finally Hitoshi got me to talk about you on stream a few weeks ago, and now here we are.”
“Who’s Hitoshi? One of your regulars?” Knowing that you weren’t the only one who was sweating bullets had you relaxing a bit. 
“Oh yeah, Mindfucker! You know him right? He did a thing with you the other day, didn’t he?”
Eyes wide, you stared at him. “Shinsou?”
“Yeah, that’s my best friend and my roommate. He said he showed you the cats.” He shrugged. “You picked all my friends for your private shows. Sero, Kiri, Bakugou, Shinsou.” He paused, smirking. “I forgot that you don’t know that I’m LightningMcQueen.”
“That’s you? I was wondering why they didn’t send me a request, but it all makes sense now.”
Denki shot you finger guns and winked. “Kachow!”
“Oh god, stop it.” You rolled your eyes.
He chuckled, grinning at you. “So, did Shinsou talk about me?”
You giggled, remembering back. “He told me a story about how his roommate mistook a fuzzball for a spider and spent the afternoon sitting on a table waiting for him to come home and kill it.”
“It looked like one of those freaky poisonous ones from where I was sitting. I was afraid to let it out of my sight in case it got away and then multiplied and killed me in my sleep or something.” He took a deep breath. “Spiders are terrifying.”
This man was amazing. “You are everything I always thought you’d be, you know that?”
“I’m going to take that as a compliment.” He sighed. “You have to have some kind of embarrassing story to tell me so I don’t feel like a fool. You’ve got to make it even.”
“One year my dad hired a clown to come to my birthday party. He walked in the front door and I jetted out the back door and hid in the garden until he left. Clowns are just as terrifying as spiders.”
Chargebolt laughed, and the sound made your stomach do a somersault. It was just as bright and happy as he was. “That is the cutest shit I’ve ever heard!”
“I’m glad my childhood trauma is amusing you.” You deadpanned, trying to keep the smile off your face.
“Aw, don’t be like that kitten! I’m glad we can bond over our irrational fears like this, you know?” He 
You shivered happily. “Okay, okay.” You cleared your throat. “So, you didn’t write anything down here for what you wanted out of our chat today.”
“Oh, okay, down to business then.” He sat up straight. “Well, I wanted to tell you myself instead of submitting it on the form.”
Intrigued, you raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t want to give me a chance to back out?”
Snorting, and shook his head. “Nah, I think you’ll like it, kitten.” He folded his hands behind his head. “I want you to tell me what to do. I’m at your mercy.”
Swallowing thickly, you blinked at him. That was...really hot. “You like being told what to do?”
“I would love nothing more for you to pull my hair and peg me within an inch of my life while calling me your little cock slut.” He stared at you with an eyebrow raised, looking pleased with himself when he saw your expression.
Your thighs clenched together involuntarily. “Fuck.”
“Yeah, right? I mean, I’m a switch, I’d do the same to you if you asked.  But we can save that for next time.” He smirked. “So, you down?”
Next time? This man was going to kill you. “Take off your shirt, Denki.”
“Fuck yes.” He groaned, reaching behind him and tugging the garment over his head. 
His chest and abs came into view, and you let your eyes linger on the barbells through his nipples. “Pants too.”
He pushed his chair away from his desk and shimmied out of his shorts, kicking them to the side. You gazed at him in his blue boxer briefs, eyes lingering on his thin waist, strong thighs, and the outline of his cock. He was a sight to behold, honestly.
You held the fangirling back, leaning forward to get a better look at him. “Do you have any toys, Denki?”
“Of course, Kitten.” He moved out of view for a moment, coming back with a box. 
“Let me see.” He tilted the box towards the camera, your eyes flitting over the different colors and shapes inside. “The pink one.” 
“Okay, hang on, let me-” He cut off, standing up and throwing the pink toy on the bed. He picked up the laptop and moved it, laying down beside it and angling the camera so you could see what he was doing.
“Did you stretch yourself, baby?” 
He made a noise that sounded like a whine in the back of his throat at the pet name, obviously pleased by it. “Yeah, of course I did.” He glanced at the screen. “You should, uh, take your shirt off too.”
“I thought you wanted me to tell you what to do, not the other way around.” Teasing him, you crossed your arms over your chest.
He pouted slightly. “I’ve been good so far though, right?”
“All you’ve done is take off two items of clothing and move to the bed. You’re gonna have to work harder than that!”
Huffing, he lifted his ass off the bed and tugged his underwear down his legs, kicking them off, his hand already moving to wrap around his already hard cock.
“Did I say you could touch yourself, Denki?” It was getting hard to keep up the stern act you were putting on, but you knew it was what he wanted. You wanted to watch him touch himself, watch the way his eyes fluttered closed when his thumb brushed over the leaking head of his cock, and the way he would bite his lip when he moved his wrist a certain way.
You could be patient though, so you continued.
“If I was there right now, what would you want me to do first?”
He stilled, blinking at you a few times. “I would want your mouth first, I think.”
Humming, you sat back, pulling your shirt over your head, letting him admire the lacey purple bra covering your chest. “You’d want my mouth on your cock? Trace my tongue along that vein along the underside and suck on the head a little?”
Denki groaned, closing his eyes, his grip visibly tightening around his shaft. He looked like he was trying not to get worked up too fast. You were amazed at how your words were affecting him, so you pressed on.
“I’d take you all the way down until I was choking on it, and I’d let you hold onto my hair and fuck my face. God, you don’t know how many times I've dreamed about doing that for you. What would you say to that?”
The blush spreading down his neck and chest made him look so pretty. “Ugh, fuck kitten, you’re killing me.” He swallowed hard, opening his eyes to look at you again. “I’d tell you how good you made me feel, but I wouldn’t let you finish me off that way.”
“Oh no? Tell me what else you’d do.” You took the opportunity to move to the bed yourself, pulling off your leggings and panties all at once. 
Eyes glued to you while you unclipped your bra and threw it across the room, he continued. “Fuck, um, I would...god, you’re beautiful.”
Flushing at the compliment, you looked down shyly, breaking character. “I’ve heard you say that before and I still don’t believe it.”
Denki scoffed. “If you need a daily reminder, I’d be happy to be the one to tell you, kitten.” You could hear the sincerity in his voice, and it made your heart do a little flip. “I might seem like a dumbass but I’m using this camboy money to pay off my student loans for my masters in English lit so I can quote you entire sonnets from Shakespeare without hesitation if that will help you believe me.”
Your eyebrows shot up, impressed. Realizing you’d ruined the moment, you sighed, covering your eyes with your hand. “I’m sorry, I’m crap at this. I really just want to watch you cum.”
Chuckling, you heard him shifting on the bed. “Okay, how about this? Forget the toys. Just close your eyes and listen to me.”
“Okay.”
“If you were here with me right now, just like that, I’d spend so much time exploring every inch of you with my tongue. I’d start with your lips, your jaw, your neck. Collarbones, shoulders, your chest, those cute nipples-”
“How are nipples cute?” You interrupted with a snort.
You could hear him trying not to laugh, his voice pitched a bit higher. “Shh, don’t ruin it.”
“I think you just did when you said ‘cute nipples’.” You’d never had this much fun with someone in a situation like this. “If I had a dick, my boner would have just died.”
Denki wheezed, and you opened your eyes to look over at him. He was gazing back at you, his eyes bright as he laughed into his palm. “God, I like you so much, kitten.”
Your grin softened, your heart pounding at his words. “Me too, Denki.” 
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Slumbering Hearts (Alcina Dimitrescu/Reader, Soulmate AU) Pt. 2
Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language Warnings: None Summary: In a wicked twist of fate, you find out your soulmate is none other than your employer, Lady Dimitrescu. To your misery, she (at first) seems equally displeased, her heart already belonging to another. But in time, the two of you find yourselves wondering… could the universe be right, after all? Soulmate AU in which every person has a unique “soul mark”, which they share with their soulmate. Notes: Reader gets a bit of a backstory here, with just enough concrete details to serve the plot in future chapters. Hopefully enough is kept vague for people to enjoy it. Now... Time to meet your new kids-in-law/the gremlins :) Previous Chapters: 1: In The Shadow Of Giants
2: Uncertain Destinations
“You already know my name, as well as my fate, and I have neither threats nor demands to make of you. I am at your mercy, regrettably, with nothing more to say. Shall we consider ourselves ‘introduced’? Or is there more you wish to ask of me?” You wonder, eying ‘Alcina’ with a bored expression. It felt odd to refer to her that way, even within the confines of your mind. She had been ‘Lady Dimitrescu’ for as long as you could remember; starting with your years in the village, and continuing through your months here at the castle. One day, perhaps, you would grow used to calling her by her first name. For now, you simply hoped to focus on other matters.
“Tell me of yourself, your past. Who were you before you came here?” Alcina asks, surprising you. What did it matter, now that you were stuck here? At first you shrug, avoiding eye contact, not wanting to open yourself up to her. But before long she’s placed a hand on your shoulder, applying just enough pressure to encourage you to speak. You win this round, you think.
“Somehow I doubt you’ll find it terribly interesting. I was born in the outskirts of the village, on a small farm, just like any other. I had a pet dog, went to ‘school’ with my neighbors, and spent my weekends volunteering with the church. The only thing you might not expect is that I lived outside the village for about a decade. Traveled for a while, never really staying anywhere for terribly long. Eventually, I got tired, and so I came back to help my parents with what little property they had left,” you explain, quietly. Being vague had been intentional, considering the nature of a few details. Did she need to know why you had left? Or that you had once revered Mother Miranda?... No, because if she learned that, it would not be long before she learned that you had changed your mind years ago. Something told you that she wouldn’t appreciate your lack of faith in her mistress. “That was six months ago, roughly. Barely got to spend time with my parents before I was ‘donated’ to the staff here.”
“Not many ever leave the village. Those that do rarely, if ever, return. How particular,” Alcina replies, giving a soft hum. There’s something in her expression that tells you she’ll eventually ask you to elaborate. For now, however, she seems content to move on. Internally you sigh in relief. “I suppose this is sufficient to sate my curiosity, for the time being. Now come with me, I’d like to introduce you to my daughters, to ensure that they understand you are… off limits.” With that said she stands, once more reminding you just how small and fragile you are in comparison, before heading towards the exit. You’re nearly forced to jog in order to keep up with her long strides. As she leads you through hallways, down a flight of stairs, and past several nervous looking maidens, she slows down the slightest bit, having eventually noticed your struggle. Admittedly, that’s more kindness than you would have anticipated. Perhaps she was used to adjusting her pace for her daughters?
Whatever the reason, you do appreciate it. Still, by the time you arrive at your destination, the castle’s library, your legs are feeling the smallest bit sore. Brushing off the ache, you follow Alcina inside. Then you’re taking in the sights, having not been here before, admiring the impressive collection. Glad I’m not responsible for cleaning this place, you think as you pass by dozens of filled shelves. Before long you encounter the three daughters. They’re sitting in a semi-circle, each with their own book, though they’re quick to sit up once they spy their mother. One by one they’re smiling up at her, not even sparing you a moment’s glance. Admittedly you’re glad for that. What good could come from their attention, especially when they don’t yet know who you ‘truly’ are?
“I’m glad to see you’re all in one place, my darlings. There has been a… development, of sorts,” Alcina says, speaking in the same tone one might use to address a faculty meeting. In a less intimidating household, it would have been much harder to hold in a laugh. Was this always how she spoke to her children? For their sake, you hoped not (though the concept was amusing). Regardless, it is at this point that the daughters notice you, with one of them looking intrigued enough to send a shiver down your spine. You’re pretty sure her name is Daniela, being the only one you haven’t met before today. A toothy grin spreads on her lips, and once you make eye contact you swear that she winks at you. This literally could not be any worse, you think, unable to stop yourself from frowning.
“Does it have to do with this little thing?” Daniela purrs, taking a step towards you. Instantly both Alcina and yourself are tensing up. While your soulmate shifts in front of you, an incredibly faint rosy tint to her cheeks, all you can do is pinch the bridge of your nose between two fingers.
“This ‘little thing’ is not your newest playtoy, Daniela. Rather, they are my-” she hesitates, disliking the way the word feels in her mouth- “soulmate. I expect the three of you to behave, understood? At the very most, you are allowed to prevent them from leaving the premises, but even then I expect you to remain gentle. Have I made myself clear?” Alcina asks. Now she’s not the only one blushing, as Daniela looks so embarrassed that you wonder if she’ll pass out. Maybe now you’ll think twice about flirting with everyone you meet, you think, remembering the various rumors you’ve heard about her. For a moment, part of you imagines what your relationship with her would look like, were you to continue ‘courting’ her mother. Could this be a moment you could torment her with for life? Get some cheeky revenge for all the maidens who couldn’t risk it? A lovely thought, though one soon interrupted.
“Of course, mother. We will not lay a single finger on them, unless we have no other choice. Right, sisters?” Bela replies, turning to her siblings with an expectant look. Neither of them seem terribly pleased, but they nod, each giving their own verbal affirmations. All three spend a few moments glancing you over, reevaluating you now that they know who you are, appraising your worth. It’s not hard to imagine that they all find you lacking- at least in comparison to their mother. “Are introductions in order? We’ve met before, but I hardly know anything about them. It would be… nice to properly meet the newest edition to our family.” The way Bela says the words makes you nervous, and the way Cassandra grins only worsens the feeling.
“If you desire such, I see no reason to forgo such a thing. Perhaps the three of you could give them a tour? I must return to my duties, and I doubt they have seen much of the castle, given their… former occupation,” Alcina admits, softly. Was this a confirmation that you’d no longer have to spend every day working yourself to the bone? On one hand you were somewhat relieved, but you also regretted the possible loss of your preferred coping method. Worse, were you really going to spend who knows how long with the dreaded Dimitrescu daughters? They were going to rip you to shreds, at least verbally, you were sure of it. How could you ever meet their expectations? If they were anything like their mother, you would never be enough to satisfy them. Or at least that is what you assumed.
“I’ve seen a fair bit,” you interject, awkwardly, hating the way it brings everyone’s gaze back to you. Alcina’s lips twitch, as she fights back a frown. Evidently she didn’t appreciate you countering her suggestion.
“Please, we insist,” Bela fires back, a pleasant tone covering her thinly-veiled animosity. “I’m sure we’ll have a wonderful time getting to know each other. You do want to learn more about your soulmate’s children, don’t you?” Something about the way she speaks makes you want to laugh. When you smile back at her, it’s without a hint of any placating intentions, rather a dewdrop of mischief. Bold of her to assume that you wanted to make her mother happy. After all, it was clear from her phrasing that this was a ‘test’, a ruse to ‘reveal your true colors’ to Alcina. But you were as uneasy about your part in this as Bela was, neither of you finding yourself a suitable match for Alcina. Despite the way she narrows her eyes at you, her mother is smiling again, glad that she had a way to keep you occupied for the time being.
“It’s settled then,” she says, moving to give each of her daughters a kiss on top of their heads. They giggle at the affection, looking rather proud of themselves. Then she turns to you, hesitating, clearly having the instinct to give you a kiss as well. Half of you wants to stand on your tippy-toes, expectantly, wondering if she’d do it (and how flustered it would make her). Instead, you pretend not to notice, accepting the awkward shoulder pat she ends up giving you. “I will see you this evening, for dinner. Do try to enjoy yourself. But don’t forget-” she leans in until her mouth is right next to your ear, breath tickling your neck- “behave yourself. I will not tolerate any tomfoolery, understood?” Alcina does not pull away until you’ve nodded, and you do not relax until the library door has shut behind her.
Except now you’re alone with her daughters. Wonderful.
---------------------------
Dealing with finances was not, to put it simply, Alcina’s ‘favorite’ activity. Although she employed someone to handle the majority of the paperwork, she made sure to go over it herself to ensure accuracy. There were many aspects to her business, being both legitimate and illegitimate, technically. One could never be too careful about their records. After all, failing to file tax returns had taken down Al Capone, of all people. Who was to say that such a mistake, or one in a similar vein, could not damage House Dimitrescu? Certainly it wouldn’t be enough to ruin them entirely, but it could lead to certain ‘nuisances’ bothering the village. At the end of the day, Alcina cared more about the impact it would have on Mother Miranda than anything else, even the possible decline of her household.
A nasty habit, really. Few knew the extent of her self-entitled devotion to the cult leader. The only bond that ran deeper was that she had with her daughters, who meant more to her than she could ever vocalize. Even then, she viewed them as a gift from Miranda, which in turn strengthened her love for the woman. Now that love leaked into everything she did. With a flourish of her pen, she signed away some of this month’s earnings. So what if she already ‘donated’ a large portion of her income to the village and its leader? Certainly this was a way to show the level of her devotion? Certainly Miranda would take notice, eventually? Praise her for it? Take Alcina’s hand in her own, thumb caressing her skin, eyes filled with a long-sought affection?...
The sound of passing footsteps brings her back into the moment, and Alcina stares down at the mountain of paperwork she’d yet to approve. With a deep sigh she readjusts her reading glasses, sets the finished document aside, then gets back to work. A part of her mind soon starts to drift to other subjects. To you, primarily. Would your affection be easier to gain? Steadier?... But could it, in any way, compare to Miranda’s? No matter how she tries to brush the thoughts away, they nip at her heels, circling her head like vultures. Only time would give her the relief she so desperately sought.
---------------------------
“So, don’t tell me you really think you’re my mother’s soulmate, right?” Cassandra says, somewhat grumbling, as you trail behind Bela. It’s less than five minutes into the tour, with the siblings having behaved so far, focused on actually showing you around. At her words, both her sisters started walking slower. Their gazes were still locked ahead of themselves. The way they positioned themselves, however, made it clear that they were listening. “Is it some elaborate scheme, hmm? Did you spend a dozen hours with the other servants, noting every last detail about her soul mark, before copying it? Do you really think that you’ll get away with this?” Well, ‘twas good to know who the most paranoid of the three were.
“Ah, yes, it’s all a great, horrible ruse. You’ve caught me red-handed, I’m afraid,” you chime, sarcastically. A hand goes to your forehead as you fake faintness. “I’m just so desperate to be scrutinized by yourself and your mother, to have my every movement watched, to somehow be less free than I already was. I simply… cannot… believe… that you saw through my bluff.” With that you give a dramatic sigh, pausing in the hallway to give Cassandra a judgemental look. If not for Alcina’s instructions to keep you safe, you’re certain she would have beheaded you on the spot. “I’m not claiming to understand the universe’s decision. But I’m also not giving up immediately, no matter how much the three of you scare me.” At that, Bela stops in her tracks, slowly turning to you. Instinctively you go to take a step backwards, only for Cassandra to catch you, holding you in place. Next thing you know, the oldest daughter is grabbing your head, staring you right in the eyes.
“Answer one question, and maybe I’ll make sure you don’t fall victim to some tragic, unfortunate accident. Can you see yourself loving my mother?” Bela asks, more intense than you’ve ever seen her before. Despite that, you don’t tremble, swallowing your fear long enough to reply.
“Honestly? I don’t know. She’s terrifying… and beautiful. Cruel to some of the maidens I’ve met… and loving to you three. I… I don’t know if I can love her,” you admit, gulping. “But isn’t that part of the point of trying? To find out? I am going to try, for both my sake and hers, to love her. To cherish her. What more would you ask of me? I cannot tell you how the days to come will go, whether or not your mother will enjoy them, or even whether she could love me. This is not a situation you can threaten into resolving the way you want it to. So let me go, finish the tour, and give me a chance. You owe your mother that much, do you not?” Soon enough the hands keeping you in place loosen their grip, and Bela turns away with a scoff. Honestly, you can hardly believe that your little speech worked. You aren’t given much time to celebrate, however, as the sisters quickly resume their walking. Before long, Daniela is speaking up between giggles.
“I like this one already.”
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bibliosophist · 2 years
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The Heart of a King
A little angsty fluff with Diavolo, ft. MC and Lucifer. SFW at this point, but may continue it later.
If you enjoy my writing and would like to read more of it, please consider donating to my Ko-fi so that I can hopefully spend more time writing and less time panicking about the financial viability of my future.
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Once again the student council meeting had gone on long past the designated end time. The council was in charge of planning an upcoming spirit day for the school, and, as usual, the brothers couldn’t agree on much of anything. What ought to have been a simple planning meeting had turned into a free-for-all shouting match. Despite making little progress, Lucifer had put an end to it when Leviathan, having had his ideas struck down one too many times, burst into his demon form and began trying to drown Mammon in his own water glass.
Diavolo had observed the scene with poorly contained glee; watching his friend try to wrangle his brothers never ceased to amuse him. The addition of the human, little spitfire that you were, only increased the entertainment value. When you had first come to the Devildom he had spent more than a few sleepless nights worried for your safety, but it hadn’t taken too long for him to realize that you were perfectly capable of holding your own with the brothers.
When the meeting finally came to a close and Lucifer had banished his brothers from the chambers, Diavolo let what remained of his facade (flimsy as it was) fall away. His whole body shook as he laughed, the deep rumble echoing off the stone walls. While he did generally try to avoid undermining Lucifer’s authority within his family by letting the others know how much their antics amused him, with just the three of you left he saw no reason to keep up any pretenses. Lucifer had been his closest friend and confidant for several millennia now, and you? Well, the prince had never had much of a chance of keeping you at arm’s length; not when you were so easy to talk to, so quick to smile. He’d given it up as a lost cause months ago.
“We didn’t accomplish a single thing, but at least you’re amused, my Lord.” Lucifer sniffs as he shoves his laptop into his bag.
“Oh come on, Lucifer,” Diavolo says as he slaps his friend on the shoulder. If anyone else had touched the Avatar of Pride so casually, they would be lucky to keep their hand. As it is, Lucifer only shoots the Prince a withering glare. “You have to admit, it was funny when Leviathan used his tail to-”
“Do we really need to relive it?” the demon snaps, slinging his cloak over his shoulders. “It’s bad enough that-”
Your stomach chooses that moment to interrupt. It growls loudly, the sound amplified by the stone room until it sounds like Cerberus on bath day.
“You’re quite right, (Y/N),” Diavolo says, a grin still on his lips as he turns to face you. “We have worked long past dinner. How about we- what do humans say?- ‘grab a bite’?”
Diavolo has only seen the Sun a handful of times, but the way your face lights up reminds him very strongly of the star. Perhaps the old adage is true- the way to the hearts of humans really is through their stomachs.
“Absolutely! I’m ready now. Are you ready now?” you babble, slinging your bag over one arm while you slide the free one through Diavolo’s.
“Really (Y/N), do humans have no sense of decorum?” Lucifer asks, voice stiff. “Thank you, my Lord, but I think we’ve wasted enough of your time for one evening.”
“Nonsense! Time spent with friends is never time wasted.” Diavolo takes his D.D.D. from his pocket, unlocking the screen with a swipe of his finger. “How does Ristorante Six sound? I think Barbatos can pull some strings and get us a table,” he says with an exaggerated wink.
Beside his master, Lucifer takes a deep breath as he works to suppress an eyeroll.
***
"Oh my God," You say, leaning back in your chair with a groan. "The food was incredible, Dia. Seriously, when I look back on my time here, this meal is going to be one of my fondest memories. Not," You say, looking to Lucifer, "that watching your brothers try to kill each other isn't memorable- in fact, tonight’s attempted murder was definitely in my top five."
You nimbly avoid the Avatar of Pride’s foot as his friend tries to kick you under the table. “Could you at least try to appear like I’ve taught you some manners, (Y/N)? I apologize for their lack of tact, My Lord,” he growls, putting emphasis on the title.
"I'm glad you're enjoying our cuisine," Diavolo chuckles, taking a sip of his drink. While he could do without hearing about God, he certainly hopes that Lucifer never breaks you of the habit of calling him Dia. Nobody has ever given him a nickname before (at least not to his face), and the sound of your voice saying it sends sparks of warmth through his chest. (He’s beginning to realize that the sound of your voice, period, has various physical effects on him). “But I am curious about the top spot. What could be more memorable than bubbles coming out of Mammon’s eyes?”
“Well,” you start, leaning in conspiratorially, “that honour actually goes to our amiable friend right over here.” You nod towards Lucifer, who scowls at the two of you from across the table. “About a month ago, Asmo was experimenting with-”
“(Y/N)-” Lucifer’s warning is interrupted by a high pitched scream.
Having been so immersed in his dinner companions, Diavolo hadn’t noticed the small family at the adjacent table. Two horrified looking demons are trying their best to pacify what appears to be a flailing mess of limbs and tail, but eventually resolves itself to be a small child. The little demon is buckled into a high chair that Diavolo has only seen the wait staff bring out for imps, goblins, and other vertically challenged patrons before, and is clearly none too pleased about it.
“Oh for pity’s sake,” Lucifer growls, his knuckles white around his glass of demonus.
“Oh stop, Luci,” (both demons flinch at your use of the diminutive) “They deserve a night out, too. Not everybody has help- you should know that,” you say, making fishy lips and waving at the baby.
“Are you equating being the sole authority figure for six wayward, angst-riddled demons to raising one lone baby?”
“Yes I am, yes I am,” you answer in a sing-song voice, still waving at the child. The small demon giggles, wiggling in their chair. “If your brothers were here, they’d be making much more of a racket than this itty-bitty little buddy.”
“And for that specific reason they are not here,” he says, taking a sip of his Demonus. “The noises it’s making are grating on my patience.”
“Now you know how I’ve felt listening to you-all talk about colour schemes all afternoon.”
When Diavolo laughs the rumble of his voice reverberates through the restaurant, causing even more patrons to look over at your table. Attention caught, the parents glance over at your table for the first time.
“M-my Lord!” one of them, a stocky blonde, stammers, nearly tipping out of their seat as they instinctively move to kneel before him.
Lucifer has spent the last several thousand years trying to impress upon him the importance of maintaining an appropriate distance between himself and his subjects- He knows that he should simply nod in acknowledgement and return his attention to his table, disengaging from any further interaction, but when he looks at the prostrate forms of the two demons on the floor, their baby watching them with huge, innocent eyes... he can’t quite bring himself to do it.
"None of that now, this isn't an audience chamber!" He smiles, and the demons visibly relax. “We’re just fellow diners enjoying a meal!"
"Trying to, anyway." Lucifer mutters into his glass loud enough for the parents to overhear. They both turn scarlet.
"We're so sorry,” begins the other parent, a tall, white haired woman with fox-like features. “This is her first time out. We probably should have picked somewhere a bit less... formal."
Diavolo’s stomach clenches. He knows that he shouldn’t feel this tension in his muscles, this desire to be anywhere else. After all this time he should be used to the deference most demons show him, but something in him still rankles at the idea of being venerated for... for what? Being born to a man who was more ghost than father? What has he ever done to deserve their reverence?
"Nonsense!" he says, trying to keep his voice light and jovial. "She has as much right to be here as anyone does. Besides,” he motions to you, “I think my friend is very much enamored with her."
From beside him you laugh, wiggling your fingers at the baby again. "I can't help it, she's so cute! What's her name?"
"This is Kikida," says the woman, taking the little demon’s hand and making her wave back at you. “I’m Tunrida, and this is my partner, Rimmon.”
"Ohhh," you coo, and the smile on your face sends those ribbons of warmth snaking through Diavolo’s chest again. "I can't believe how precious she is. How old is she?"
"54 months.”
"Oof!” you laugh, eyebrows shooting up. “Sometimes I forget how slowly demons age! Human babies are this big around... Hmmm, maybe 9 months?"
"Oh my," Tunrida says, covering her mouth. "I didn't realize that you were human. You must be one of the exchange students, then?"
Your smile falters for just a moment, but you nod. Diavolo wonders if perhaps you’ve been subjected to some less than enthusiastic responses in the past. He makes a mental note to ask you about it later.
"It's sad that human infancy goes by so quickly," the demon continues, "I already feel like she's growing so fast!"
You rush on, relief spreading over your face when her affect doesn’t change. "It really does, but on the bright side, less diapers!"
Both Tunrida and Rimmon laugh. Kikida kicks her feet merrily. Lucifer rolls his eyes.
You reach towards the baby. "Do you mind if I...?"
"Oh no, not at all!"
You reach over and tickles Kikida’s little foot. She giggles and blows a spit bubble, reaching for you with her chubby baby hands. Rimmon laughs again, his gaze tender as he watches his daughter. Diavolo can’t help but wonder if his own father ever looked at him like that.
“You can hold her if you want, but be warned, she won’t let you put her down,” Tunrida says.
You let out a little squeal and hop up from your chair, scooping the baby out of her seat. “Hello. Hello,” you say, swaying side to side as you hold the little demon against your chest. She murmurs and gurgles, wrapping her furry little tail around your wrist.
As you chatter with the parents about the human world and your time in the Devildom, Diavolo watches you- the glow in your eyes, the smile on your lips, the way you hold the little demon so protectively- and he swears he actually feels his breath catch in his throat.
Having children was something that Diavolo always took as a given. As the heir to the Devildom he would, at some point, be expected to continue the line. Primogeniture had been their way for eons, since the very first Demon King had coalesced from the darkness. Nobody can remember now whether the Devildom dreamed him into existence, or if it was the other way around.
What Diavolo is sure of is this: he is as much a part of this place as it is of him, and one day, he will need to ensure that the ancient power that runs through his veins is passed onto the next protector of the realm. Yes, he knows that it is an eventuality that must come to pass, but he’s never thought of it as something he may actually want for himself, outside of the confines of duty.
But that was before you sat beside him with a baby in your arms- and now he’s picturing an entirely different child held against your breast, one with a shock of chestnut hair, and your bright eyes.
“Isn’t that smile the sweetest thing in all the worlds?” you ask as you bounce the baby in your arms, the biggest grin on your face.
“Yes,” he says, without a hint of irony. “It is.”
“If you don’t mind,” says Tunrida, “could we get a picture of the two of you with Kikida? I’d like to have it as a memento for her.”
“Of course,” Diavolo says, automatically rising to stand beside you. He’s used to being photographed; it’s just par for the course when you’re the next King. It takes him a moment to realize that you may not be quite so comfortable with it. “Ah, that is, if it’s alright with (Y/N),” he amends. You turn the full power of your smile on him again, and he suspects that his heart may have just stuttered.
“Absolutely! But it might be more impressive if you hold her, my Lord.” There’s just the slightest hint of mischief in your voice as you address him by his title. Are you... teasing him? This time he’s sure his heart skipped an entire beat. Nobody aside from Barbatos has come close to doing anything even resembling teasing to him in centuries. He isn’t sure if this innate playfulness is a human thing or just a you thing, but either way it brings an answering smile to his lips. He wonders what his own personality would be like if his father hadn’t had it pruned and trained into shape.
Before he can recover from the surprise, you’re stepping into his space, leaning close to his body. Belatedly, he realizes that you’re trying to pass him the baby. That’s when he remembers that-
“Have you ever held a baby?” you ask quietly, back turned to the watching restaurant- because of course, by now, everybody is watching.
“Er...” he mumbles, feeling a blush bloom in his cheeks. He can’t remember the last time he’s felt so clumsy, so ineloquent. “I suppose it’s never come up.”
“It’s okay; it’s easy,” you say, smiling up at him. “I bet you’re a natural. When I pass her to you, you’re going to put one arm behind her back, like you’re giving her a hug, and the other one is going to come up under her bum, like you’re making a bench for her to sit on, okay? I’ll be right here if you need me.”
Someone else offering him reassurance? It really is a day of firsts, he thinks, but he doesn’t have long to contemplate that because then you’re passing him the baby, and he has to take her, and-
He’s amazed at how light she is. His coat must weigh more than she does. He tries to follow your instructions, but he’s clumsy, and he knows that he has her tilted too far back, and his arm is more of a stepping stool than a bench, and-
“It’s okay,” you say, gently guiding his arms into a more secure position, your body still shielding him from the many demons that he knows are watching from the corners of their eyes. To anyone else, it would look like you were still fussing over the baby instead of teaching their future king something as rudimentary as how to hold a child. “Don’t overthink it. You’re doing great, Dia, just loosen up a little,” You say, smoothing the baby’s fine, dark hair back from her face. “If you want, we can track down Luke after this and you can practice holding him. Heck, if we can’t find him I bet Asmo would be willing.”
Before he knows it he’s laughing- a real laugh, from deep in his chest. He feels his shoulders relax, his hold on the baby becoming less rigid. She gurgles against him, clutching one of the buttons of his suit jacket in her fat little fist.
When he’s sure he has a secure hold on her, you move to stand beside him, waving and beaming at the D.D.D.s that Kikida’s parents are holding up. For the first time in a long time he doesn’t have to force a smile. When a flash goes off (not from either of the parents’ D.D.D.s, he notes), Kikida begins wailing in earnest.
Rimmon leaps into action, scooping her out of Diavolo’s arms and into his own, rocking her and speaking softly. When Diavolo glances around, he notices that Barbatos has materialized at the elbow of a demon at the bar, no doubt having a few carefully chosen words about the unsolicited photo. It’s strange, he thinks. He’d only held Kikida for a few moments, but he feels a little colder without the warmth of the tiny demon in his arms. He wonders how any parent can bear to hand their child away-- wonders how his father did it.
“Can we go now?” Lucifer is at his side, eyes squeezed shut as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “I am this close to destroying this restaurant and everybody in it.”
“Yes, alright,” Diavolo says, folding his coat over his arm as a weight settles in his chest. “I think that would be for the best.” Kikida’s cries follow him as the four of you exit the restaurant, and he can’t help feeling that it’s somehow his fault.
***
“(Y/N),” Diavolo starts as you wait for the valets to bring the cars around. Perhaps it’s this new heaviness in his heart, perhaps it’s the lingering echo of your voice as you’d called him Dia, but he’s not ready to say goodnight to you quite yet. “I know that Lucifer won’t be up for it, but would you want to have a nightcap back at the palace?”
“Oh,” You say, clearly taken off guard. “I- that would be nice.”
“You don’t have to,” he says, catching your eyes. “It isn’t an order.”
“I know,” You say, and there’s that smile again. “I want to.”
“(Y/N),” Lucifer calls, holding open the passenger side door of the sleek black coupe. “Let’s go.”
“Actually... I’m going to have a drink with Diavolo,” you say. Is that a blush creeping up your neck? Lucifer’s eyes narrow, and he makes no move to shut the door.
Diavolo pauses. Is he... interrupting something?
“I’ll see you at home,” you tell the eldest brother, taking a step towards Diavolo.
Lucifer looks like he’s about to say something when Barbatos- clever, loyal Barbatos- slides into action. “In that case, allow me to ensure that Lucifer gets home safely, My Lord,” he says. In one fluid movement, he’s guided a bewildered Lucifer through the door he’d held open for you and into the passenger’s seat. “Lucifer, you shouldn’t be driving in your condition. It will only exacerbate your headache,” he continues as he shuts the door, cutting off Lucifer’s protests. “Good evening, My Lord. (Y/N),” Barbatos says, giving a quick bow before circling around to the driver’s side.
Diavolo makes a mental note to put extra thought into Barbatos’ birthday present this year as he guides you to his own car.
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a kiss from the moon | jjk
pairing(s): jungkook x reader
summary: All these years, all these summers, Jeon Jungkook has loved you. His problem? You have no idea. Mostly because he has always said it far too platonically and thrown up in your lap after saying it. Drunk. Fuck. Oh, yeah, and you're also Park Jimin's best friend since preschool. Shit.
warnings: language; alcohol consumption; pining; JK gets distracted by (your) tits during his quest, typical; non-idol!BTS - purple-haired!Jungkook x sleepy af, noona!reader, ft Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung radiating big soulmate energy; childhood friends-to-lovers
yes, it's JK from the 'Butter' beach photos
--
“I love you!”
You lifted your head out of the mountain of pillows, groggy and hazy, squinting at the moonlight filtering through the floating curtains. The night breeze was warm, drifting in softly with the low hum of cicadas. But what was that other sound? That other sound was familiar, wasn’t it?
You heard your name being shouted, followed by, “Wake up!”
You made a face and stumbled out of the bed, sticking your head out of your bedroom window, your own hair flying back and smacking you in the face.
“Yah! Jeon Jungkook, are you trying to wake up the whole damn neighborhood?!”
“Get down here!”
You put on your best disgruntled expression and peered down at the form on your front lawn, shoving your own hair aside.
“What are you going on about?” you muttered, seeing Jeon Jungkook looking up at you, puffing his cheeks, long wet purple hair fading to gray because of the chlorine from swimming all night at that party Park Jimin had invited you to earlier today, to which you had responded, no thanks, I’m going to sleep all day, I worked three double shifts in a row and I have zero desire to be flung into your family’s swimming pool at this time, but I will acknowledge that your offer is very generous, and then promptly passing out for a good – you glanced at your phone with the pink bunny case Jungkook had given you two summers ago – ten hours and it was still not enough for you to comprehend why your best friend’s best friend was standing on your front lawn yelling at your parents’ house that you were watching for a month while they were in Italy getting drunk on far too expensive wine and eating cheese they probably couldn’t pronounce.
Jungkook was shirtless, clad only in orange swim shorts and sandals like a fucking hooligan. He was clutching a plastic red Solo cup and he threw it at the house, yelling your name again.
“Oh my fucking God, don’t litter, you idiot!” you bellowed back, throwing yourself away from the windowsill and crawling on the floor to your bedroom door like the evolution of mankind, making it from all fours to two legs by the time you got to the stairs – good thing too, you might have broken your neck if you were still disoriented – and you dragged yourself downstairs, yanking your white slip dress straight. Not your choice of pajamas. Your mom’s, who told you to be more ladylike, whatever the fuck that meant, and who also informed you in the same breath that it was your only choice of pajamas since they donated all your clothes from high school.
Awesome.
You go to university and your parents yeet all evidence that they had a child and go vacationing.
Good for them.
You wrenched your front door open and shoved your feet into your dad’s giant brown sandals and clapped your way over to the pink-faced, mildly drunk, shirtless man in swimming trunks on your front lawn.
“It’s two in the morning. Why are you standing here drunk and professing your love like some kind of deranged Romeo?” you sighed, rubbing your eyes. “Why aren’t you at Jimin’s?” You spied the red Solo cup and picked it up, whipping your head back to Jeon Jungkook.
He was staring at you with his mouth open.
Charming.
He didn’t say anything for a good ten seconds.
“Alright, fine, let me call my loser of a best friend and tell him to pick up his loser of a best friend, so I can go back to sleep,” you muttered, about to turn around.
Jungkook seemed to sputter back to life. “Wait, um, noona–”
“He speaks! He’s not dead.”
“A… Ah… Um…”
You squinted at him and reached up to knock the side of his head. “Hello? Anyone in there?”
Jungkook blurted out, “I love you.”
His breath smelled a lot like alcohol.
“Yeah, I got that. You also said that when I got you through your Chemistry and World History exams. Both times. You also say that to like, what, six of your guy friends? Don’t get me started on the amount of times you’ve said it and thrown up in my lap right after. Don’t do that this time,” you added sternly, prodding at his chest. “I’ve got one set of pajamas because my mom forgets that human beings change clothes, so throw up on the grass.”
“Uh… that’s pajamas…?”
“Lady pajamas,” you grumbled sarcastically, lifting the lid and chucking the crumpled Solo cup into your parents’ trash can. “Since I’m not lady enough apparently according to my mom, even though I’m ninety-nine percent sure giant band t-shirts are completely unisex but, whatever, it’s just a dress, not a big deal.”
“Um.”
You looked at Jungkook, who looked back at you, who put your hands up and gestured him to say something, who in response rose his hands and flapped them in confusion, giving you absolutely zero helpful communication. The movement reminded you he had gotten his right arm and hand tattooed in the last couple years, the black ink standing out against tan skin. You hadn’t seen him too many times during your university years, too busy completing research papers and staying late nights in laboratories, only to now end up working on hospital software and sitting on your ass all day. Life, eh? These past three days were spent on working through bugs for the next software update and you had maybe lost all social skills as you attempted to unravel lines of code that you stared at for forty-eight out of the past seventy-two hours.
Fun!
“Do you need a cookie? A shower? The Bible?” you offered, waving your hands. “Maybe tell me why you’re here, yes?”
He was staring and you realized you were slightly bent over in your gesture, your breasts firmly pressed into the cups of the slip dress. You straightened and Jungkook’s wide dark brown eyes went back to your face.
“I… I didn’t realize you had come back, noona.”
You raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about? I told Jimin last week. He said he was hanging out with you and Taehyung. I figured he’d just tell you guys then.”
Jungkook shook his head quickly, gray-purple hair flying about. He pointed to the left, where Jimin’s house was several blocks over. “He only mentioned it just now, when he was throwing up in the bathroom from doing eight shots in a row because Taehyungie dared him.”
“…. Maybe he needs the Bible…” you muttered, shaking your head.
Then the realization hit you.
“Did you walk here from Jimin’s and straight up abandon the party?”
Jungkook tilted his head and thought about it. “Yeah.”
You looked around to find the camera and see if you were being pranked, but there was no camera because this life wasn’t purely for entertainment, right? Nah, this wasn’t The Matrix.
Mhm.
“Hah, well, what’s wrong? Are you upset I didn’t go to the party or something? I had three double-shifts this week, I wasn’t going to be any fun passed out before actually drinking–”
“Yoongi-hyung was passed out before drinking.”
“In some ways, I swear that guy and I are the same person,” you laughed, shaking your head. “Anyway, I’m sorry I didn’t go and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I really banked on Jimin not being an airhead, but once again he is, so maybe I should reconsider him as my best friend…”
“Noona, I…”
You looked up from your mental consideration of Park Jimin’s pros and cons, the first pro being he punched that ex of yours that cheated on you with some Tinder hookup and that was already enough to stop contemplating, so you blinked at Jungkook curiously, looking into wide brown eyes, long strands of ash-purple floating around his handsome face from the night breeze, brushing against his parted lips, highlighting the mole underneath them, placed perfectly in the center like a kiss from the moon itself.
“Can I take a shower and sleep it off here?”
You tilted your head. “Yeah, sure. You can borrow my dad’s clothes. You should call Jimin though. You don’t want him to panic that he lost you.”
“Y… Yeah, okay…”
-
Jeon Jungkook really thought he could say it this time.
Collected all his courage and ran, ran as fast as he could, couldn’t believe Jimin had neglected to say she was coming home over the summer for more than a day, days without her reminding Jungkook that he was a coward for not saying it when he could have, having lost his most important person in the world because he was too afraid of telling Park Jimin that he was in love with his best friend.
He remembered that smile wearing nothing but a large t-shirt, sitting on Jimin’s bedroom floor, crushing all of them at UNO and cackling as Jimin blew up for ending up in last place for the third time in a row, yelling that the game was rigged, and Jungkook remembered thinking, I should tell her tonight.
And he didn’t.
He remembered her saying to Taehyung that she just wasn’t into girly things. They were having this argument over pizza and Taehyung was waving his around saying she should at least try a dress on every once in a while, never know, might actually like it, and her rolling her eyes as she shot back that she didn’t have to do anything just because it was stereotypical for her gender. Taehyung told her to stop using big words and waved his hands, accidentally flinging his pizza slice into her lap, and Jungkook remembered thinking, I should tell her after we clean up.
And he didn’t.
He remembered seeing her prepare to leave for university once again, holding a small package from the internet and handing it to her, a small but practical belated birthday gift, both of them surprised when she opened it, not the matte black phone case he had ordered, but somehow mixed up with a pink bunny phone case that had no business being owned by someone who didn’t like girly things.
“Oh, shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t order this–”
And she laughed, shaking her head. “That’s okay, I gotta go, thanks anyway, Jungkook!”
The years went by and every year Jungkook told himself, this is the one, and every year he just couldn’t say it.
He thought he could say it now, drunk and furious at Jimin for not preparing him for this moment, but on his way here Jungkook figured that perhaps this was preferred, that maybe it was better that he couldn’t sit around nervously overthinking what to say.
But, of course, the problem was…
He had already said it in a platonic way.
Shit.
He really fucked himself throughout the years.
Jungkook sighed, now wearing borrowed clothes, holding the note of her handwriting as he rubbed his hair with the towel.
I washed your shorts and they’re hang-drying now. You can sleep in the guest room. I left a glass of water and some hangover meds. If you need anything, I’ll be asleep but you can attempt to wake the dead if you want.
He walked down the hall, towel around his shoulders. Her bedroom door was open. He stood outside the entrance, sighing, seeing her sleeping form and her bedside table, her phone sitting on the charger.
His breath caught in his throat as he recognized that pink bunny phone case.
-
“Where’s Jungkook?”
“Probably at her parents’ place, confessing his love,” Kim Taehyung snickered, picking up the beer bottles left behind next to the pool.
“Hah, of course he would leave without cleaning up,” Park Jimin grumbled, pushing the recycling bin along as Taehyung tossed each bottle inside.
“You think he’s gonna tell her?”
“He didn’t even tell me,” Jimin muttered, shoving used napkins into the bag hanging off the side of the recycling bin that he was going to toss into the trash later. “I had to find out from you. I think he’s hopeless. Why does he like her anyway? She’s fun to be around, yeah, she’s good at school, yeah, knows a lot of random facts, yeah, if you get into philosophy with her like Namjoon-hyung does, you begin to question humanity and reality, yeah, but other than that…”
“You hitting on your best friend, dude?”
“I mean, she’s kinda hot, she wouldn’t say no to me.”
Taehyung snorted.
Jimin smacked him in the ass with the recycling bin.
“Anyway, he’s probably just standing in her bedroom creepily watching her sleeping.”
-
Jungkook stared down at her sleeping form.
He looked up, looking out the window into the late, late night. He was tired, and yet he couldn’t sleep, too busy wondering.
I don’t deserve her if I’m not brave enough to say it.
“Jungkook?”
-
You squinted at the large form in your bedroom.
“Why are you just staring moodily out the window?” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes. “Is something wrong? Are you hungry? I can make you a snack…”
“Noona, do you know what the worst feeling in the world is?” he asked softly, still looking out into the warm night.
You grunted and scrunched up your face. “Stepping on a Lego?”
You heard Jungkook laugh and you smiled a little despite your groggy state, hearing a little bit of his old self, the younger Jungkook hanging out with you, Jimin, and, later, Taehyung, the four of you getting up to no good. Somehow, in the past few years, he had gotten quieter and quieter, at least around you, but then again you only came home to visit for a day or two before going back to university.
“Have you ever been in love, noona?”
“Yeah, with the red bean popsicles they used to sell at the ice cream trucks, but then they stopped, those assholes, I’ve never been so heartbroken in my life,” you grumbled, remembering the day where the ice cream man told you they were sold out and your young teenage heart shattering.
“I love you, you know.”
Was this a fever dream? Why did he keep repeating himself? You looked over to his back, still looking outside onto the street, the street where you all used to run and laugh every summer, pretending you were surviving in the wild and not in the middle of a suburban neighborhood, sitting around sipping lemonade and complaining about the heat even though you all could have gone inside, lighting sparklers at night and seeing whose would last the longest even though such a thing was only based on chance anyway.
“Is that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?” he added quietly.
“The worst thing I’ve ever heard was accidentally hearing Jimin jacking off. Twice.”
Jungkook finally turned around, giving you a disgusted look. “What?”
You placed a hand on your face and sighed heavily, trying not to remember. “For some reason he thinks the bathroom isn’t echoey or something, like, at least do it in the shower, so the water masks the sound…” You chuckled, shaking your head. “Anyway, I would much rather hear you say you have love for me than listening to Jimin getting off.”
“I don’t have love for you.”
You raised your hand from your face and shifted your gaze to him, half-smile lingering on your lips from remembering Jimin’s carelessness. You made eye contact the second the words left his mouth, those brown eyes shrouded in shadows, but still so clear, a little helpless, a little sad.
“I’m in love with you,” Jungkook whispered softly.
Your eyes widened.
A soft breeze swept through the window, lifting the purple-gray strands from Jungkook’s face, revealing his lost, desolate expression.
The cicadas hummed.
A car alarm honked loudly, screeching through the night.
Both you and Jungkook jerked to face the window. You bolted out of bed and you both threw your hands onto the edge of the window, yanking it shut, wincing at the loud noise.
“Ah, jeez… what the hell…?” you groaned, slumping to the ground.
“What’s with people…?” Jungkook muttered, falling to the floor beside you, yanking the towel off his shoulders.
-
“Fuck, I pressed the wrong button!”
“Taehyung, what the hell, turn it off!”
“I was just trying to put the tangerines your parents gave me in my car!”
“I don’t care what you were doing, turn it off!”
-
“Anyway, sorry, you were saying something important and you got interrupted by some dumbass,” you sighed, nudging Jungkook with your shoulder.
“Uh… well, that was it…”
You blinked at him, tilting your head. “What, that you’re in love with me?”
“Y… Yeah?”
You blinked some more.
“Not the, want to go to the arcade and see who can get the highest score in PAC-MAN or go watch shitty action movies and rate the unrealistic plot lines or dare each other to eat whatever expired delicacy is in Taehyung’s fridge, kind of love?”
Jungkook made a repulsed face. “I regret eating that tofu. Don’t think I can ever look at uncooked tofu without gagging a little now…”
You leaned over and caught his eye.
“Do you mean the… want to date and get married and make babies, kind of love?”
His lips parted and the moonlight lit the small mole placed perfectly underneath his lower lip.
A delicate kiss from the moon itself.
Then you realized he was staring at your tits.
You yanked the neckline up a little and Jungkook started, looking back up at you with wide eyes.
“Sorry, I’m just not used to you in a dress, sorry, I’m being really rude–”
“It assures me that you’re at least interested in the making babies part,” you chuckled.
His ears turned red and he reached up to cover them, trying not to look down. “S… Sorry…”
“So…?”
He chewed on his lip, messing with his earrings with his fingertips. “Um… yeah, that kind of love. The latter kind.”
You lowered your hand. “You’re not messing with me, right? I swear, if this is one of Taehyung’s elaborate ideas to mess with me, I’m going to ki–”
Jungkook shook his head quickly, purple hair flying about. “I’m not joking around. I wanted to tell you for a long, long time, but…” His eyes darted about, panicking a little, before looking back to you helplessly. “You’re Jimin’s best friend, besides Taehyung, and what if… what if you thought I was gross or something and then I don’t think I could hang out with you guys anymore, but then you went to that prestigious university far away and I thought, I’m so stupid, I should have said something, anything, but every time I could even think about it, I didn’t know what to say, nothing seemed right…”
He let out a big sigh and tapped his head against the windowsill, closing his eyes.
“Also, I said it before and threw up in your lap right after, so that kinda fucked me up.”
“Can’t say I was really feeling the romance, yeah.”
He groaned and covered his face with his hands.
“I’d date you though. For real.”
Jungkook removed his hands and blinked at you. “What?”
You chuckled. “Why are you acting so surprised? I’m not going to date Jimin, blergh, I’ve known that guy since I was in preschool. I’m not dating Taehyung, I’m pretty sure he’s on a different brainwave than other human beings.”
You smiled at him and turned around to pick up your phone, holding it up.
“I don’t like girly things or cute things very much, but I kept your gift because it was from you and, funnily enough, I think it made me realize that I was rejecting femininity because society puts such a negative connotation on things young women like and because my friends growing up were primarily male, thus I wanted to seem cool or relatable so I rejected stereotypically feminine concepts…”
“… What?”
Now it was a confused what.
“Uh, never mind,” you laughed awkwardly, putting your phone back on your nightstand. “Anyway, Jungkook, you made me realize things about myself, and I love being around you, but I thought a handsome guy like you would want to date a pretty girl, and I’m not really that.”
Jungkook furrowed his brows. “What are you talking about? You’re the prettiest girl in the world. No one could ever be prettier than you.”
You felt your neck heat. “Yo, don’t inflate my ego when it’s not the truth,” you chuckled sheepishly, waving a hand. “You’ve been drinking anyway. Alcohol makes everyone prettier.”
“It’s the truth.”
Was he drunk or were you drunk? Why was Jeon Jungkook getting closer?
“Would you really date me?”
You stared into those chocolate eyes and smiled.
“Yes, I would.”
And you leaned forward and kissed him.
His eyes widened, staring at you and you closed your eyes, pressing your lips to his, inhaling his scent, memories of hot summers and mirthful laughter filling your head, standing beside Jungkook and kicking Jimin and Taehyung’s ass at table tennis even though Jungkook was doing most of the work, finishing a movie together after Jimin and Taehyung had passed out on the couch on top of each other and talking excitedly about it until you both fall asleep, getting lamb skewers after Jimin and Taehyung went off to eat ramen in a huff, unable to agree on the same meal as a foursome, but it was fine, no, better than fine, perfect even.
Because you were with Jungkook.
You broke the kiss and opened your eyes, smiling at him.
He blinked slowly, looking down at you.
“Noona…”
His hand raised, fingers spreading out longingly. You quickly reached up and pushed it back down.
“Jungkook, I swear, I do want to touch you in a less than holy way, but maybe not when you’re wearing my dad’s clothes, including his underwear, because that’s really fucking weird.”
Jungkook looked down at the brown t-shirt and beige shorts. “Oh. Yeah. Right.”
“You know, come to think of it, I feel like Taehyung has slowly stolen Jimin from me over the years, so maybe this was fated…” you mumbled, remembering at the moments you had shared with Jungkook were because your other two friends had abandoned you.
“I feel you, sometimes I feel like a third wheel…”
-
“I’m so sleepy.”
“I’ll tuck you in first, but I’m going to get us some water so we don’t die tomorrow morning.”
“Ugh, Jimin, bring another pillow please.”
“Hah, fine, but you’re buying breakfast tomorrow…”
--
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yourcooladdiction · 3 years
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i didn’t have a back-up plan | bucky barnes
summary: reader x bucky break-up but nothing one of tony’s infamous galas can’t fix ;)
pairings: bucky barnes x female reader
warnings: 18+ only pls!! (smut, unprotected sex, public sex), angsty, little bit of fluff, jealous bucky, cuss words
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You’re sitting at the kitchen table with your head cradled in both of your hands. Your cheeks are stained from the hour's worth of tears and for a second you are so glad you didn’t put on any mascara this morning. You hear the screeching sound of a chair pulling out across from you and you refuse to look up. You’ve been going at it for hours now.
He just got back from a three-month-long mission, and everything had been fine until he told you how long he was going to be gone this time. You couldn’t do another three, four, maybe even five months without seeing him. You’ve been together for almost two years, yet it seems like you’ve only physically been with him for maybe 4-5 months. You didn’t expect much from this relationship. You knew when you met him it was going to be hard, and if you’re being honest, you didn’t think it was going to last this long…but there was something about him you couldn’t get over. You fell for him hard and now you are dealing with the consequences. You weren’t accustomed to his lifestyle, and you knew you’d never adapt to it. Being an Avenger isn’t something you just sign up for and it’s certainly not for everyone. He didn’t force the lifestyle upon you, he never forced you to Tony’s lavish parties even though he wanted you to but he knew you’d be too uncomfortable. He loved you. You knew that. You loved him. He knew that. But you knew he deserved more, someone like him, and you deserved someone more like you, with nothing too special about them.
“You want to yell at me some more?” You ask.
“Doll...” His tone is cold and emotionless. You know where this is going. You both have known where this is going.
“Do you think we need to break up?” the words escape his lips, and you finally glance up at him.
“If that’s what you want.” You state.
His shocked response is not what you were expecting.
“What do you want? Do you want this to work? Do you love me?” His tone now filled with sincerity. Where the fuck has this been the past two hours you think to yourself. You could’ve sworn you were taking the words out of his mouth, you wanted to beat him to it. But his puzzled look is telling you otherwise, telling you he doesn’t want this at all.
“Bucky, we haven’t been doing well for so long. It’s just... it’s just not working. Our lives do not mesh together anymore. You are all over the place and I can’t drop everything when convenient for you.” You explain your decision and he sits back in his chair.
“I’ve never once expected you to ‘drop your life for me.’ Jesus fucking Christ.” His tone back to irritated. There he is. There’s the Bucky that you’ve been dealing with for the past few hours and the past few months.
“We fight all the fucking time! That’s all we’ve done for months! When you’re gone it’s over the phone or in text, when you’re here it’s in person. Nothing has changed. Nothing helps. It’s not fucking working.” Your voice cracks and his eyes begin to water.
“I... I love you, I don���t want this to end. We can work on this. I can work on this. I can tell Sam I need a break and take some time off.” He attempts to save himself and you shake your head.
“Buck – I love you but I’m holding you back. You need to be with someone who understands your world and I- I’m just not that person.” You try to fight back the stream of tears and he drops his head in defeat.
He attempts to save himself one more time as his mouth opens but nothing comes out. You stare deeply into his piercing eyes. Trying to memorize his face. Trying to memorize him.
He stands up from the table and stops beside you. He reaches down and squeezes your hand. You squeeze back and glance up at him one last time. His eyes fill with tears once more and he takes off to the door. You sit there and force yourself to stare at the now empty seat across from you. You hear the door shut and the floodgates of emotions hits. You sit there for the longest time. Tears and tears flow down your face. Your heart has found a new home in the pit of your stomach. Your eyes eventually dry up and you know that this was the right decision. It was never going to work…
You are pulled out of your poorly timed reminiscing when your date reaches out and grabs ahold of your hand,
“Ready babe?” He asks.  
You force a smile and step out of the car.
You find it oh so incredibly ironic that your work is co-hosting one of Tony’s infamous charity galas. After you and Bucky broke up you landed a big-time PR job which involved working the one and only…avengers. You haven’t seen Bucky since the breakup but he had to know that you were practically working for the team by now. You had wondered how long you two could avoid each other, it was bound to happen eventually.
Nevertheless, 8 months post break up...here you are. The guy you’ve been seeing, a stockbroker on Wall Street was more than eager to be your date to this event. He wouldn’t shut up about the networking opportunity, and a chance to “meet the avengers.” Eyeroll.
You, on the other hand, didn’t want to go. You’ve been staring at the guestlist for weeks, well, you’ve been staring at one particular name on the guestlist for weeks. You’ve been racking your brain on why he would come to this event. He usually never goes to these stupid gala events, but yet he is attending a random gala…that you are in charge of…come on. You also find it convenient that he had a plus one beside his name. Of course, he does. He’s Bucky Barnes, why wouldn’t he have a date.
You and your date walk the imitation red carpet that’s laid out. You are the chair of this event so you have to pose for pictures and stop for questions. You hated this part of your job, you just wanted to be behind the scenes but unfortunately, people love you and your work, so they want to know all about you at all times.
You make it through the interviews and pull your date inside. He is enjoying this publicity a little too much. You find some co-workers/friends and push him off on them, and quickly head to the bar to get the strongest drink possible.
You order a dry martini with extra gin and take a sip.
“Some things don’t change, hm doll?”  
You stand there frozen. The accent. The beautiful Brooklyn accent that you miss every fucking day. Those six words send chills down your back. The way “doll” flowed off his lips. This fucker. You take a deep breath and pray your makeup has remained in tack and your hair looks good from behind.
You slowly turn around and are met with those deep blue eyes. His hair was much shorter than the last time you saw him, but still so damn handsome. The scruff along his chin almost makes you drool because you miss the feeling of it against your skin. Your eyes make their way back up to him and he is smiling.
“Hi,” he says.
“Hi.” You say back.
“You look...fantastic,” he smirks.
You bought this dress specifically for tonight. For this moment. You got it in his favorite color because you wanted him to see you and admit you looked good. You give yourself an internal high five before responding to him.
“Thank you, so do you.” You gesture at his tux. One of your favorite looks on him.
“I-uh-I hope that it’s not weird that I am here,” he says as he takes a step into you.
“Oh, no. Not at all. I am glad you’re here.”
You quickly realize what you said and try to recover,
“SO you can take part in the donations! The more avengers the merrier!” You laugh nervously  
You idiot.
He chuckles at you and shakes his head.
“Is there somewhere more private we can talk?” He asks.
“Uh-I shouldn’t. I have to-“
“Oh right, yes, of course, you’re working. Well, maybe we can meet up before the night is over? I would love to catch up,” his voice is almost a whisper as he is only a few centimes from you. You can smell his unique scent. You used to joke that if he could bottle it up and sell it he wouldn’t have to run off and save the world every other day.
“Yeah, mhm, enjoy your night!” You respond and walk off.
An hour or so passes as you get caught talking to other donors before you can make your way back to your date. He is completely sloshed and making a fool of himself. Great. You call him an Uber and tell him he has to leave. He doesn’t take this very well and begins yelling at you. You and a few co-workers manage to get him outside as you wait for the Uber but he continues yelling at you.
“You’re just a fucking bitch! Get over your fucking metal-arm freak of an ex and you will be happy! I could make you so happy!” He says as he points a finger in your face.
Before you can respond a man quickly jumps in between the two of you and slams him into a wall
“Call her a bitch again and I will kill you, yeah?”
Your date's eyes go wide, and he runs off to the Uber as it pulls up.
“Bucky, what in the absolute fuck is wrong with you?” You yell and he chuckles.
“Really? I just helped you with that fucking asshole and you want to yell at me?”
Without thinking you take ahold of Bucky’s hand and pull him inside and off to a side room. You slam the door behind them both of you and he takes a few steps inside before turning around to face you. You cross your arms along your chest and tell yourself to be calm, give him a chance to explain himself, but as he opens his mouth you cut him off.
“What the fuck are you doing here, James?” You question
A smile splays across his face as you use his first name. He takes a few steps towards you, attempting to close the gap. You slowly take a step or two back still allowing the distance between the two of you. He smirks as he realizes what you’re doing.  
“Well doll, if you must know. I needed to see you He says. His accent was thicker than before, which is a clear indicator he’s been enjoying the open bar or some Asgardian liquor or both.
“What about your plus one? Where is she, hm?” You question.
“You mean Sam? Yeah, I’m sure he’s having a great time in there.” He chuckles.
Of fucking course it’s Sam.
“Why was Sam not on the – oh forget it, we aren’t together anymore Buck, you don’t get to just show up and call me doll and pretend that everything is normal.” You sigh.
“Why not?” He asks playfully.
“We broke up, Bucky.” You sigh once more.
“Yeah and?”  
“And!? And YOU walked away” You scoff
“Are you fuckin’ kidding me, doll?” His voice irritated.
“No, I’m not fucking kidding ‘you.” You tilt your head and mock his accent. His eyes narrow and the muscles in his jaw clench. You forgot how fucking sexy he is when he’s mad.
You two stare at each other for a few seconds as if you’re having a contest. Your emotions begin to overwhelm you and you feel the tears swelling in your eyes. You look down in defeat and you hear him let out a small sigh.
“Love.” His voice cracks. Fuck. You can’t hold the tears back any longer and you feel them fall down your cheek. You look back up at him and his eyes are bloodshot too.
“I fucked up, doll.” He mutters.  
“Yeah. You did.”  
“I know I did! I know! I should have stayed and fought for you. I know that now. I am sorry. But I’m here now. I’ve been working on this little plan for weeks now, to see you and –“
“No! No, no. You can’t do this. You don’t get to do this.” You interrupt, you wipe a tear away, and turn around to leave.
“It wasn't just me, doll! What about you, huh? You couldn’t adjust to my lifestyle yet you’ve been parading around all the other avengers for the past 8 months. Helping Tony with these bullshit galas!” He challenges.
You spin around and narrow your gaze at him.
“It’s my job.” You defend yourself.
“Yeah? I was your fucking boyfriend, not a lot of effort given there though?”
“Oh, fuck you, Bucky. Fuck. You.” You ridicule.
You both stare at each other down. Waiting for the next one to say something. You are soon questioning why you were so excited to see him tonight. Why you picked out this specific dress. Why you enjoyed it when he defended you against your douchebag date. You feel another tear fall and you quickly wipe it away.
“I should’ve tried harder. I’m sorry. I couldn’t handle the distance and I gave up on us too easily because I was scared and I’m sorry.” You finally confess.  
He stares at you. Contemplating what you just said. His jaw is still clenched, and both of his hands are stuffed into his pockets. The silence is almost deafening, and you turn to leave as your heart can’t take this anymore. 8 months later and you’re still not over him. You’ll never be over him.
Bucky grabs your hand as you begin to turn and spins you back around to face him.  
“Doll, I miss you. God, I fucking miss you.” He croaks.
Before you can speak his lips crash against yours. He quickly has you pushed against the wall as he deepens the kiss. You moan as you feel his tongue enter into your mouth. You wrap your hands in his brown locks and attempt to pull him further into you. He slides a leg in between yours and you moan as he grazes your sweet spot.
“Buck, we’re in public-“ you let out a raspy moan.
“I need you, please.” He groans.  
And with that, you’re gone. You give in to whatever he wants. He slips off the straps of your dress and you step out of it, he takes you in as if it was the very first time seeing you. You attempt to cover yourself up, you haven’t been this exposed since the last time you were together.
“Don’t,” he demands.  
He lifts your chin with his finger and places the sweetest kiss on your lips.
“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers.
“Buck, I haven’t- I haven’t been with anyone else.” You admit.
“Me either, baby. I couldn’t bring myself to think about anyone but you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. Let me show you how much I've missed you."
This time the tears swelling in your eyes were happy ones. He smiles as he finally renders you speechless. He wipes the tear away and kisses you once more. The kiss goes back to heated and passionate. You reach for his belt buckle, and he groans as your hands brush up against his erect member. He pulls his bow tie off and quickly unbuttons his shirt. He slips off his pants and underwear and once again has you pushed against the door. He begins kissing down your neck as he slips off your bra. He hooks a finger into your underwear, and you moan as his hands slide down your thighs.
“You ready?” He asks
All you can do is nod as the sight of him is enough to make you come.
He hoists you up against the door and you wrap your legs around him as he slips himself inside of you.
“Fuck, baby girl.” He groans.
“Buck – Jesus.” You cry out as he fills you up. He stills as he thinks he hurts you and pulls away to check on you,  
“Move, please.” You giggle and he nuzzles his head into your neck and begins peppering kisses along your collarbone.
He thrusts himself in and out of you at an unrelenting pace. Anyone else would probably be embarrassed with how quickly you’re about to fall apart but you don’t care. You’ve missed this touch for months. You’ve craved it for months. You knew you needed him again. You just needed to realize it.
“Y-you close baby? I’m so close. Fuck.” He moans.
You attempt to speak but all that comes out is a loud moan of his name. He smiles at how easily you fall apart for him. He’s always loved this effect he’s had on you. Even though you held your own, there was something about Bucky that made you putty in his hands. He knew he had to get that feeling back. He knew the second he walked out he wanted to come back. He almost did. He stood outside your door for the longest time but couldn’t bring himself to knock. He knew you’d come back to him. He knew he’d find you again and you two couldn’t help but get back together. You were meant to be.
“Fuck, I’m-“ is all you get out as your orgasm takes over.
“That’s it, doll. Let go. Fuck. I love you. I love you so much.” He praises you as you clench around his cock.
Your head spins as you see stars. With a few more sloppy thrusts, Bucky is moaning your name as he lets go inside of you. He slowly places you back down on the ground and kisses you all over.  
“Are you okay?” He asks.
“I love you.” You say as you lean up to steal a kiss.  
He smirks against your lips and wraps his arms around your waist. You two stand there in each other’s embrace.  
“Can we make this work? Can you be mine again?” He whispers  
“Yes.” You smile.
“Good, I didn’t have a backup plan if you said no.” He smirks and you laugh.
“Let’s get dressed. I’m sure everyone heard us.” You roll your eyes.
“Hey that’s never bothered you before,” he teases.
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iselsis · 3 years
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A note on adoptive family relationships
So, I’ve referenced this before, but I’m one of ten kids. Six out of my nine siblings were adopted. Three of them were one set of biological sibling adopted from Ukraine, two were adopted from a county or two over, and the last one was a surprise when my older sister’s friends got pregnant and only trusted my parents to adopt this baby. I was five, eleven, and fifteen when these adoptions took place, so I not only know what it’s like to have vastly different kinds of adoptions, but also what it’s like to be at different points in my life when the adoption happened. 
There’s this thing that people just don’t seem to understand about adoption. Let me show you:
“So how many are your real siblings?”
*in a joking ‘who’s got the bigger family’ battle* “Well, your parents only had four kids, and mine have seven, so we win” “I have six other siblings” “well they’re not really your siblings” “yes they are” “No they’re not”
“So are they real brother and sister?” (talking about the set of two who were siblings before they were adopted)
Not to mention all the media in which adoptive siblings or adoptive parents and children will become love interests--and I don’t even mind if you want to write your thing, but at least acknowledge that that is legal and emotional incest, even if it isn’t physical. 
My siblings are my real siblings. This doesn’t mean that we’re offended if you notice that my very northern European self and my biological younger sister look very different from our sister with Romani heritage. Like, actually, we look forward to springing the “actually we’re sisters” thing on people who clearly don’t expect it, because your face as you’re trying to figure that out is hilarious. 
What is offensive to natural born children and offensive and scarring to adopted children is implying or insisting that their families are not as real as anyone else’s. If you want to ask how many biological siblings or children someone has, say biological. Or don’t ask at all. A lot of adopted children are insecure on some level, especially during their teenage years, about how “real” their family is. Do not reinforce that. That can be so emotionally destructive for someone who already has to deal with past abuse and neglect and physical, irreversible damage to their bodies caused by their parents. 
If you can’t understand this concept, think of it like this: for most people who have siblings, you knew Mommy was going to have a baby, and then Mommy went to the hospital, and she came back with a baby. That baby wasn’t your sibling, wasn’t even in your life, and then it was your sibling. The same thing holds true for adoptive siblings. I didn’t have brothers, and then my mom and dad told my sisters that they were going to adopt. About a year later, my parents went to another country and came back with three boys who weren’t my brothers, and now they were. Then several years later, my parents told us that a boy was going to be staying over for a few days, and a few months later, we were going to keep him and his sister forever. We had a decent five months warning on the baby, it’s just that it grew in someone else’s body. But then I went to the hospital with my siblings and held that baby wrapped up in the blanket I’d knitted for him, and he was my brother. 
Being siblings isn’t a matter of looking alike or being able to donate a kidney if it comes down to it or having the same biological parents. Those things all do count, but not as much as being raised together by the same parents. Not the same as playing together, getting into trouble together, getting in trouble together. Not as much as the fort city we built in the woods behind our house or making snow cream in the winter. Not as much as me draping myself dramatically over a little girl who I didn’t even know until she was nine. Not as much as me throwing fists for my annoying little brother, because you’re freaking right, he’s annoying, but he is mine whether he came from the same continent as me or not. Not as much as singing Helpless at my brother when he gets a girlfriend. Those things make you siblings, just as legitimate as any blood connection, and if you’re out there reading this, and you are adopted, know that you are not less valuable or less loved. You are your family’s child through and through.
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lexa-lives-in-us · 3 years
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Saving Tips for Hard Times
I found this old document where I collected a series of tips to save money. This is all part of my experience of when I was near homeless, and some work depending on where you live, some don’t. Here we go.
BILLS:
1. The optimum temperature for refrigerator operation is 5°C, and -18°C for freezer operation. As a rule of thumb, for each additional degree of refrigeration output about six percent more electricity is used.
2. Unplug your appliances. Lamps, microwave, tv, computers etc. They don't need to be plugged until you use them, and it saves energy to keep them unplugged. Therefore, money.
3. Do homework for phone companies and internet plans. Call them! Often they are toll free and if you mentioned that you were already with them or thinking of going with them and then found out another company had a better deal, they could offer you deals for lower prices. I had to do it all the time for my phone, until they couldn't really offer anything better.
4. BIKE. Invest in a used bike if you can, especially for the warmer months. It offsets the transit costs and better your health.
5. WALK. That's the same as the bike, honestly.
6. Pay your bills on time, you will avoid late fees which can up to HUNDREDS of dollars wasted over the course of a year. If you can, set up automatic payments so you don’t forget.
FRIDGE:
1. Every time the refrigerator door is opened, cold air escapes and warm ambient air enters. To compensate for the temperature increase in its interior, the refrigerator must then use energy to bring the temperature back down. Always avoid opening the door unnecessarily and for too long.
2. When defrosting frozen food place it in the refrigerator. Not only does this ensure that the food is carefully defrosted, its presence cools down the refrigerator interior, reducing the amount of work that the compressor has to do, and therefore lowering energy consumption.
3. Never put warm food in the refrigerator as this will heat up the interior, as well as other stored foods. Hot food should always be allowed to cool to room temperature before placing it in the refrigerator
MONEY:
1. Keep all the containers like glass bottles, juice bottles, jars, cans etc. Look for your Return-It depot and have trips to return them. They give back coins for laundry, small expenses etc
2. Use that junk mail. Go through it, find coupons for food, for essentials like toilet paper or shampoo.
3. CHECK. THAT. DOLLARSTORE. They often have things like pasta, ketchup, toilet paper, batteries etc for literally 1 dollar.  Pasta is pasta, toilet paper is toilet paper. Seriously. Don't need to spend 5$ on a shampoo bottle when you can have it for 1/5 of the price.
4. Do homework and check with different banks for which one offers a better plan. Some of them are willing to help out. Sit down with their advisors, find the best solution!
5. Use the envelope system! For example, one envelope with a label “food” the other with “entertainment” the other with “bills”. Then set the right amount of cash for each. That’s what you’re allowed to spend each month. If you realize you need more for food, grab it from the entertainment envelope. Adapt and arrange as needed.
6. If you can, set up an automatic saving (example 50$ every paycheck) for both regular saving AND an emergency fund.
7. Use the 24-Hour Rule. Avoid purchasing expensive or unnecessary items on impulse with a self-imposed 24-hour rule. For any non-essential item, wait 24 hours before purchasing. It’s perfect for online shopping where your items can simply be added to your cart to purchase later.
8. Make a grocery list BEFORE going to the grocery store and STICK to it. You’re going to avoid buying things you don’t really need.
9. DO. NOT. SHOP. WHILE. YOU. ARE. HUNGRY. Or you’ll end up buying food that you actually don’t need just because you feel snacky!
10. Only use ATMs from your bank, or you get charged small fees.
11. Set a “No Spend Day” per week, where you consciously DO NOT spend any money for that day.
12. Ditch the paper: Cutting out paper towels and using cloths and napkins that you can simply wash and reuse is a simple way to save.
13. After you wear clothes, hang them outside your wardrobe, on a door or something. You can air them out a bit, then stick them in the closet without washing. You can basically reuse the same clothes two or three times without having to wash them, sometimes they just need a bit of air and they won’t smell AT ALL.
14. If you don’t own or want to spend money on an iron, hang whatever blouse you need to iron in the bathroom while you shower. The steam will humidify the fabric and straighten it up.
15. Hang stuff to dry. Really don’t need to spend money on the dryer.
16. Sign up to the library. They have so many books and DVDs nowadays. You can also just go, sit at the library and stay warm for a while, so that you don’t have to sit at home and either suffer the cold or use money on your own heat.
17. Budget, budget, budget. Get a lil notebook, write down the monthly expenses, cut what you don’t need. It gets easier with time.
 FOOD:
1.       Make a meal plan. Write 10-14 days worth of dishes that you can do (lunch, dinner, everything you need). You can then toss them around as you go on with your week, but that way you have a pretty clear idea of what you use and the food you go through for how long. It also reduces the risks of getting take out since you already have plans for what to eat.
2.       Cook double! Seriously. Make that dinner and double it up. Leftovers can be frozen or put in the fridge for the day after.
3.       Meal prep. Once a week, prep a bunch of different recipes. Let them cool down, stick them in the freezer. At that point you’ll already have all these meals at the ready to just thaw/microwave or oven up.
4.       You don’t need pop. You don’t need alcohol. You most likely don’t need milk, but go for it if you wanna. Just remember dairy products go bad WAY more quickly than non dairies, so consider getting food and drinks with no dairy in them. Mainly, though. Water. Just drink water. Lots of it too! Sometimes our brain can’t tell the difference between hunger and thirst. You think you’re snacky? Drink some water instead! It’ll quell your hunger.
5.       Freeze fruit! If you think you’re not gonna be able to eat fruit in time, put it in a Tupperware or a ziplock and slap it in the freezer. You’ll be able to then use it for smoothies.
6.       Use the Italian saying “Colazione da re, pranzo da nobili, cena da poveri.” Which quite literally means “Breakfast as a king, lunch as a noble, dinner as a poor.” Breakfast should be very filling, carbs, protein, vitamins. It carries you for the whole day. Lunch should be quite filling too! But supper doesn’t really need a lot of it, and if you REALLY have to skip a meal, skip supper. Your body doesn’t need that much sustenance while sleeping.
7.       This is for the desperate times but I’ve done it, and I would do it again if I ever had to. Go to markets that have like… Fruits and veggies. Talk to them. Ask them “HEY, can I have the fruit/veggie that you have to throw away?” Ask them if you can have the ugly produce, the one that doesn’t look pretty enough to be put out. Or ask them to have whatever extra they have to dump because is past the expiry date. EXPIRY DATE IS USUALLY MUCH LONGER THAN WHAT THE LABEL SAYS. I wouldn’t risk it with dairy stuff or with things that are VERY expired, but one or two days? Totally fine, I promise. And if you have to? Dumpster Dive. Especially at markets with fruit and veggies that have to be sold on the same day (because it’s not considered “fresh” past that day.) Or behind pizza places like Dominos or Panago or whatever chain. They get pizza orders wrong all the time. Just give a peak behind these buildings and look inside their boxes. You have no idea how many times I found perfectly fine pizzas. For free! IF YOU DUMPSTER DIVE, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE GLOVES, A MASK AND PLASTIC BAGS TO PUT YOUR STUFF IN. ONCE AT HOME, DISCARD GLOVES AND WASH PRODUCE THROUGHLY. Also check tumblr for your divers community, they usually know the best spots.
 CLOTHES:
1.       Thrift shop! So many GOOD used clothes are out there! Honestly! My whole wardrobe is thrifted and everything looks brand new. It takes a bit of research and maybe that shirt you liked is not in your size, but you can find EVERYTHING, from socks to bras, at a thrift store. Don’t thrift underwear though. You want to go new with those.
2.       Invest in some needle and thread, then open youtube. There are SO MANY tutorials that teach you how to mend holes in socks and underwear. And really, no one will really notice if a mend is perfectly done or not. After a week, you’ll forget it too! But that prevents you from throwing away clothes that could just be mended a little.
3.       Something doesn’t fit you? Too small, too big? YouTube, homie. They have tutorials on how to fix these kinda things! All you need, again, is needle and thread.
4.       Organize clothes swaps with friends and/or neighbors. Everyone brings clothes they don’t need, put them in a pile. Go through the pile and grab whatever there is. There’s no money exchange, one could go home with 1 item and one could go home with 50 items. Who cares? The extra stuff… DONATE IT TO A SHELTER.
Feel free to add more, and stay safe!
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