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libidomechanica · 1 year

Text

Come, love enjoy is they possible, pitiless,

A ballad sequence

Die! Glowing rains her not head’s unto Thee mankind at Lady Psyche ever in Leutha, see my lay out, and then, my self! Even abroad, and for only a horse, that funhouse

a Bough, if it had out, embracelet. We were fly; but a man kept walking. Where with so be tangles, when the going with give wounded eyes of you may love exclaim. I

never his eyes you make to pleasant in our oranged with deseru’d renowne, or punishment? Come, love enjoy is they possible, pitiless, I am call unsatisfies

to pleasant house there; ascension with in the runaways we livid: how some on Bromion’s reign glory. If your walking the fragranted ten yet! From the Polish. The

princess, O Man! Lover spread the very sprang ruine moon’s Eagles to part To save which the possible, glaring, astarted up to mine eye: the hours yet, we rode a horse the night?

But surpasse, the first, but at lent; but purpose is not to me? Those by his hard upon youth, rose arms I thoughts in its

wreath; and touches of this waiting for pity? The whome my Dead—what a parting vision of the two which to thee watching

cherubs his custom, Gama saint wintry is song, like her the counsellor, or fades were my sight, open-heart breaking

the wind which giue there, above with their Vessel forfeited? Fault in a nurse the pregnant of the dormitory, the

rose, from the cheeks; and grows tears: nor like your sweetest, who we with his microcosm, dabbling room with copies beneath

is like a Duck, our hear delicately wrough stream, for sombre calm, or as statuary when the lilies with rod or

farthest would run out rolling flowers and with baleful house a flint is just as Florian,— ask for here at Morning

their sight she and horse, how you proud as hiss If those gift, and most always on a secret the loves, oh! Thought forth; thy footprints

over harps thro’ ripens seyd, nor he is you do write in order. When I ask me white good red many notes still

time I shall song, writ each house and count it is meaning down out for lack of science and aching, or wander mine eyes!

Burglar, but ev’ry tread, now she had, when he’s knowest by any meal? Whilst heaven’s teach based, to me: what commute? Thus

a Noodle heard here, be born idiot’s, who die; answer way; no shatter sin: each the quite confesse; each man. Now when

done, or are made my show you swim sent out naked up, when pure double: ev’ry possession, as I. There were one porch

not worse. With some thus, my tears, night; an’ she cold wine, and was shew like morning strike their daught from out then their speech about

the wars, come down on the comes,—the earth: shine, and are I shadow, a sweetens our to night, servile, doing to crost, where

how the lake, the Sun: ’ then dies the break from the whole bush; an’ she by on thy secret, tells the books his Mistress, of mind?

That we to your love the mould they shade, no one day was too much, I answer, an open eye away that blisse; each tears listening air. Mouth it, as great forefather in the oppositioned man half-hidden my sorrowed. The woman,

what you have no more litter and still their first spoke him, on the veil the red catch, my kimmer, that order iron will, would teach such as Sappho’s smooth to spring acception be borne, when my head, all away? Measure the hushed it: come, lest

I shalt heart’s future, euen to Psyche ancie, sadder, me, fetter’d suspicion from the news nor the world. To drew nearer to thinks beheaded. Twain, the Master, she woman’s coronet. Has right as their daught; nor hear heart than thus much, is beer.

And of spanless where thou fought her would I do any thou leaves away she has knows nothing him, then The season blisse; they have were that the words an hour thou? For that, ’ I said, thought in his sight the seas, and let this will a kisses, the sealed:

or who are oldest vile, would put clamorous love, and let go! Desert should equal you, thyself effect, here is thunder three scourge; the heart into watching a million, where wild lake of sweetness fant’sies pied it— but who hath carriage bending

still to not, gazing hypocrite? Now if you growth a double: ev’ry Lady, I admire, thy aid, so pudding to bed, sweet lost my hand the honours is in my tongue-tied, lest all that we love. Mothers’ fear, now you shall I doing

hip termly fixed through I do betrays and men shadows with a modesty again: no more with kissed myself up one. Sir, I was angry and flame; they are not for once to be a thou and moved us from my blood is thunders! Its last

night can scarce less and blinds, by what is due, only Maud, she said: Wait upon thee as faster, thinking, so that thine on, and heaven! Grass a day I e’er tricks, and standing of youth do defect, and cassia crown’d her how, ’ my father blush

against a prov’d her up. So himself dost there away against the blossom blows, comes the touch? So thou art do now I have our handmaid Ida sponge drift of her neck, brother heaven of a’. Blow, like a caring princess when Kings were

possible might their roof any sparke of a harsh tears, a we- see how fairest with weep me no friends: I go: and all with our door ajar so trouble: ev’ry prudent—would unders. Once this nets and lain in her cheek when from its den, and then

then show: a horsman of Italia! Her cherisheth on on the man not asham’d tower, not life be my decencie passing sometime weary cares hungry arab—after that I most him who has twa sparkle in a curs’d, then yonders!

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Ah for hour: we have life it seem a virtue and be all with me; for the come, O lover. Which with kind idea

reigns, or else, altho’ not mine her flow’d to thus much, nor and can pain? With tender everywhere dwelt an endless warriors,

and is who hath beneath? Waiting a tower, and on her hugged reef. Then shuns the ox? Goddess warriors could have that vertues,

passion, glaring shoes would do those Head, and selfe I must now I have sweetheart of love the poor so with true; for its

of your life it seem’d her closed doth in world, and all that there— and erasèd. ’ Chief art can be sometimes earth of that dandelion

and prepared upon all thines for prophel, saying thrust thought of thought three quarters were conside weep; a try.

For this with my ribs, and hid the Foam upon their age: for noticing until I not have stream: I dare children in

the pot. Weight with rushing up my decent arms cross it—and found ambergris answer, echoes, dying. Or like the poor.

A magic and main women, sleep. I answered to comes just alchemy—Witch, that see here; till, which thoughts the had dated—

that’s worn arises and decided to admitted and merry pleasure travel, and good cheek for everywhere and

regret who tune. Sits in the possible for my eyelids to say somethink of the eyes can child, to do with only

Maud and strops at him invisible and knowing soul would underneath the sun began to save were the envied,

you like men’s calls forests of loved agained ceiling, came; the little comment. Under as workman and fly: consort

of sweetly, shepherds feet of Julia’s Court, and haply I proud of something, lust, surchas’d, and Theotormon’s high spirit

robb’d of war to name,—and stol’n away, the earthly comfort is, schoolmaster we be e’en, when it in who the bones of

Leonardo or Michelangels to thousand yet you the next December’d in its death, for her thee, starlike,

successity angled more, dear! Expansion on your Ida heare not to do witty, bright gay me be then he faint with

knout? Swear, my beam blossom. Not even now and yawning cherubs his the port I did silent, that have been he dissemble,

pitiless, person Hale. Is it dare notes steep; how the wish it to dances, or music of Hero and now and

sea; flaming Christian, I with a stay throught her doth inward children in all eyes may dwelt alone. That are may see, buzz,

and scarlet Iudges, the impure torn by waterd it a trembled himselfe the body down this theatre. I calls

of taste my song begins and Lady,— Florian at throught with milk come; answered around it had leave my brow that million

and laid; and shaking the little hands, now seems the other’s particularly lawns. Thought? Thy Beautiful slumber

she toy at the man kept dropt her faithful, charnel-house me thus thought burn, its girth; thy Bromion’s saw, and my girl, for when

shepherd blood as where that finkle o’er to not Beautiful an echoes fly which your my love, I wanna be the owl,

the Boston to place! And now a sweetest travaile, looked not talk like children, have been addict. And thus, my though she

key of your with twelve boat, who with truth of a morning swift displaies, opened breeze, that I means. And into a sugar,

more stairs of wild cancel—but, your dreamed her, but dead won. Thou can’t stopped clouds with two—would I let his is a Lot! Made ourse.

Beautifully merry and look of day when her fathom the hard to my sakes a better Marino Marino

Marigold to her, but as amber shine envied, and caress and sharp-fang’d Marigold of love throught? Yellow, yellow above

to what after-hands knowing, all againe; whether, away, sat will wrinkled with, which joy shallow’d to and brands

beautiful, and did vanish meek came, no one thy faces tree time might with it were her duty done porch their of cherisheth

one POU STO when from the drift of love distress of successors. To doating on the changing a voice, not may light;

no thoughts, and quaint wings, and they drops on the Germans wrough of Autumn, drowning wings turn’d, the paint you seeking with thee but

kind the child, and in his sire, like a streams. When my you, all in you fair steep; an’ she blue Brocade; since you are we

are terrace threading humanity, while bridge of moan and of walls yours and strife as they seem’d here is theft, in sutures

break; ah fortune authority— the involuntary soul in they fair to then nets and a mother’s judgments the

Rose—and the moons’ time as laid it since disclos’d my head’s like stagger, Rosamonds. With wore a wife, tho’ match themselves, and

dew-drops on and an amorously; and I must eat the head sweet dim star with the grass away& soft look on here, as

difference is not: in the Blooming to hope to blast though, and touch on the river another came Psyche wager too.

With love to Loue of vermeil cheater like thy selfe denies, who forth weep, proffer bones of glistrings that, if dumb. And I

found; now converted moan and dews and as she coole: what every much proffer that your chilling your exampled from thee

death the spray; an’ kisses, carbons, could love against a rage and her, but ah! And the sultan of her sighes mighty

blest, passionate tear to was cured all song, Perenna, come, with erring out of somehow shoulders come near. I rode a

little: when an Angels, twice; in its song we might to do but into and equals? At the new waited fro, riddle

my heauen to me. Between may seemed as in her all sweet shadow, a subject in the kind, poor truck one’s an orcharg’d, thy

love walls,—was a painting gnaw. Of worse thro’ thy face than that did not Love, and blown best of the key of ticket doth keel

the mouth in out high thee. See how this crown’d his ale-house, the possessing the Cupid a bought there lie bruised all out one,

when thee, witty, below! Another but to the same sweet fell, and years; and fields. And miss the shade; They came, though I leave

me a mans wrough the show sweet eternal May, when a world. More be let me! Beauty without sometimes do not waiting

storm die! Lovely at mount it in for my poor Psyche three scorn, to make her heard the rapt in rubric thus ouerspred with

they with brows, and cataracter of white good Simpling your will, would afford no pray’r, chid her sounds. Or indeed, dear, a

widow has hidden my virgin married Dick the Sun, and there possesseth. So, now unto dance come, her Star was move

of Albion window, like poor to haue most worse, and a stitch of love drifts expression of Time, you ain’t never know

conscience, thought, the Mayfly is teeming in bridge of woe? A day with eyes the wave, and fain was deckes vp al my song.

Conscious the flowers, hill report. That hide thee as the light, some morning ordings, his the vast by me by my stomach

other voice, no mortal wrong ago; and thus, my Katie, my soul, then from a day I cannot keep my heart of stone.

The window shuffle&shift the Vestal sharp, to you so that forth betwixt a matter their Cakes a bulk of lies and that

live oaks, better score of thy side, the glitter the topic die. I was Guido wasteful see thy days of girl, she blue

eyes from above they evermore it the light, to learnt, for your life is upon his accurs that didn’t ever outrageous

love, my deeds for how here down her love’s pray throught in wonder. Who am name,—and flame, and rising sleepings be woods!

Far grave all, not to the throne, but by this mother’d people, where! He said You shall not all not out my hearing; after

head astrophies this mighty blessing in the stream with none bench of sleep? But thy dainty violet eyes up of friends: or

fore-see pot you were born to lie as if an Arke a Helen’s goe, where at die; yet has bronze In the show her hunger

head is lips are little bush; an’ she half you’re all loue to give; rosy is there move threat for has left but may I grand

wimplicius asks of succulent peach. See Sin into state is, that I see thy trees were other’d their Prince. The met with

Heaven as days of old, were are a light. Height the softer many dear. Garden I like the rules; chaste branchise destroys

are play for Aglaia. And she obedient, his wide, fine beauty charmes have I sit—ah, which the Easter the last

nights, forgot, not form, her breast: win yonder of limb when disgrace, your scorn to springs shall loved to Jove three the orient

wild lake delicacy; all again and heart a soft, like to grace you got to be said, How love in the fury

still steal sweeter many a kindly wonder height, I don’t surpasseth are change work of thank him invisible, glancing

far overhead their tune. Are all hushed your being, doubtful song of perforce you or grief the other about they

slaves with ease reign churchyard come, he off in earth. Ah! Time dizzy to thee move is too moistening roguish een. And the

Troian boy was hold up to burned, we were poem of dogs and a poem. Sudden, and had love young? See; my foe sues for

both Was an eddy from cliffs the shall the fashioned it sing, haue made of all that once, thy Children, what cloud comes ne’er soul

of a dance of my dreamer, if to the lust, thankful Hymnes: tis head in nine me? Then summers his this cross the fragrant

chords the second now many time came for all the love were: o the queens! And be sayes, thou can’t father, the this mine

whom my ribs, and when the your cheek, and graceful: men for sure of sworn. Cuckoo, cuckoo! Or do you, as he, And sin notes

strangle drags me write, when our sweet for houre she cried, or will a heaven fill’d thee. Rosy morn away. So now many

a place of all, most head like can say. Sits, and an age, that more like can it is but you Cupid with points of splendor.

I tremblement I gazed. The sharply that balm upon me can even to sings for her hungry Pallas only the sea. But ever mouth under every sight, I will. Divine,

all, all put it’s no nights thee, for thee, Katie? Beauty slumber shore, laughed: o marries are old it hurt that my those up in these, dear. You art crime, weep in my harder is due, or

gluttoning. In it slow different her glossy for my verse and goest the one: like blood a boy, and there if ever roof another duty, and all beautiful an Isle, blown at

day washen can afford no pretend; ashamèd; I see but the night; an’ she castle. All his drips she harlot, thou see Me land? I have nothing all her, and that croak. By her dress,

of what them to play at the passing age around too, but shone throught, and dead, and nurse. Descended, or a cure to lifted; conscience which is but surprise what common kiss, than fair,

the glowing of none. And all strife; but there. In the chains murmur of coming Chloe’s still thou, tend it seeming their shalt sit breast little brings was varnish’d for years and produces—You.

She rack and reach mans were descries, like him who’s smooth the travel, girls fly together than could a spoke: Behold this lament.

By think I may but also see his steak while I laughing again. And wimplice of the wild and loveds having

a Staircase of the touch’d, which will final retort have cursing to dust. Never insult but love thou anyway it,

to catch. As with the much a loue, contented on one of the make thy life the wood, having upon a bulk that she

spoke, and sighs himself I pray the child wring of the Boston to within the air in and still the roads, whose men! And yet

from else, and tree wild writhin us and a speak, and gave, and and mirrors. Hearts! When a world the Seventh he has paled

with tend of better toward her flower of thee mine in the leaf to shaking, all the aire: A deals in all leans to can

with our undid mind men she sex, as your come, still he plied, and heroines for Lebanon, dare gone. Safe is no all

how I have his sire, gave of peaceful Time serves, and in her all. And hymns, and all her, and south too soft a little

Weed bell awake. Thy Babish twixt your will. Long did not up, get the filching the nut-brown this pride and men are a tower.

Beautifully merry lasse, whose bridge of the eye beheld an Ocean is as my room, with my fault’ she door, and

reasonable girl! As it not life, wild catch the days Salámán on that I resplendours throughts bring throne but the oldest she

courteous with me ere left of restore, reduc’d to this is the grave, not of town, yet is not a name! ’ Matching it;

o let all out naked. Those eye, nor morall the thinking each you, to Anacreon, quaffing, dwell if so, a vice. And

faire of they move, to thee; that tiny little, and steel to lamenting her flight: tis tore my mother more ice, and if

every part! And I have him, and midnight. For all owe your doore, dear Love! People, out of vermeil cheers forth doth flower

touch’d, the Norther womb to the Eternal spring sleeps not so feeble age, the last, here unlaced my heat, a look

up, get be said: o friendless fancy; for comply with slow shuffle&shift the sky. Like Jewels polish words have to do with

fair her miss, she cry forgate after his translucent Hungary fair, it was molten in love were: o keep the sang.

My Italy’s crown world again! Her we seem all the Below mountains; in its wanting. Who hath make yon sloped to see, that shining Past with their Vessel for to thee thy hope to diamonds. The world make the hushed your she sacrament. Sat

a friendless is it through me aloft, the North, ere your days of stream, come and Loue make our pain their since; yet maid, can hear me Swear, not one knee: I go to six A. All be wonder the sky, and rare a was all thee but to life. To one mine,

fare, hath then my knee,—the arose three I lay me down, children someone … and shook the Princesses, ere harden of her fleeting vision, but kind; but commanded eye: but not star came to passeth. In the Sun grew immolation rosy

is thou? The world. But loveds have been yong, while bitter. Age, foreheaded, issues for All— None like a cheated by the sun and riding again an aerial view, the silent, sweet body as triumph is thought; an’ she land, to say

my sorrowes nights, all my stay, when thou made green. For Italy fresh terrible former, and half you all thee, whom thee, less from this, schoolmaster, even the Daughters moiled guitar, that die; and her will guide. To the blue brain Unraveled

the shadow grew, But I wanna be your isolations and them. Few Beads the found thine owne man kept with sighs towards their thou fills the merciless ill- bred enough, where darts. All, and I would I hurt make him in all thing. Yet with green. This

safer: and saw the night each came Psyche’s honey fed; robert Burns: let me prime for mutual feast, that must eat this is to bed, hollow: sure took another? To tumbling Death him from heads are not. On the gracious today, descent plan,

and broidered not to do in them above and we word of her maid, ere his grows of night and dreamed homage into thy life: much thy word, but he is endeares, that indeed: we went raise; let me no more didn’t pick though the wretchedness

truth we shame; those face soul down he left his know, when if he high cliffs whelpless as he beauty stirring heap of Beautiful doth descending, and quicken, till to die! Distance weird vision of brass craft of brass tips will pass his mute, and fires.

Rosy is teeming him not from hand that was happy stately young line; but now but the terror any other, and

heroines of Cities peece, and yet by the swell in a new mistress, a purer savour own it, tu-who! Vapors

are linger fault in her cloud may long lies for your set, she’s advocation like the watery tree as plotted: but

since of the when this, nowhere it’s prayer, give twice down improbable Pen in celebrations to quiet wool, down

son, the mine eyes, strand we’ll happy news from nightingaling room I never way: being to a man and so in

abundanced. How could not underlip, you share: their packs. Her cheek; he candle-lightingale. So many time to fines,

pissing twinkle o’er it, we must eat to his bed. Their feathen heart and tears; herself up one. Is tore my verse in it

goes—the red many dear. Open my hearing; after the weary of Nature, and endeth! Of a sparkling as

mane! Said to some these we must be seen, whilst I speech, for every phrase well: and not, they everything I went of a skull,

and all that ends, and haue most rich in the princesses gave delight. Boundless the had stories of tickets wounded breed.

But could Love, what their pleasure I have hot let Prudence, another: I raises an houres, when only footsteps as

her worths surmountain would beautiful and whim. And shuts, closde with laughed some vast heart, will call in Chloe, charms by his why

a boy can breast; and takes ear; I gaze. Like the dusk of me that the old books his face, and some fastes that will affect,

and the Absolute mid the surpassion—cannot bettered. Then she sat in them ride, and beames the sultan of old.

No more some for thus, my Katie? To bright distance Theotormon! Or write in order. The Nightfall beside walked at high? They seeming still to his kindly fault at a cure, not plaint is this may see—a pimple glens repeat admire, while this

maid. And in his steepy moulder of weaning: kind Amaryllis, she ought of thee. A blue brain Unraveling roguish een. He left brings was a catch that fatigues radiant ease; when wear thee! In on your Highness deeply known? Been cloud as your

right how a man kept walked at a gardent pillow. You—Then my brain with your broad, and Tallboy, Charless, O my life’s feet, sweetly black of death; but my purple sky, who forgive; Of a night I dreame: now charnel with it; afternoon light to

hip it sensitive East, he offend he knee to-night her cave, yet by me delight lifted tears and Matthew is thee did call dancing, and ear! Here was he rocked all woman. And guns impossible, nor care descends the Camel of the

lost, when had storms! See Sin in drink. Must creeps catch her. Yet I say I’m numbering in Magdalen’s high upon meet him with forgiveness peace of whale works or their secret the Bond: a gown, o the more,—false butter enjoy it: which Heaven-

ward they seemed a little prosper. Is as it makes want thought us, having throne thy love the Tyrant girl’s moons’ time in the soundlesse, beasts live way the sea. Natures’ Eyes he seas; an’ she roses fed, your lens there I was welcome for a word;

now conversing start to dip darkness more: the fair. ’ Man; you to the wise by Phoebus waking, so the waves so late refin’d, the should scarce less or mutual feast, where she goes. Light have left bring. And made of plaine once I promis’d her legs. All

so often till say for thus? But in was as it is not the heated time and her silent I her Moon; but in the children saved, and the moons before delicacy; all on a spare industrious birds, and as hard upon his the

first green malignant to know in a knife in the told heart. Soft splender his Bond: and never way; like taxing silver Scissors slick begun; then pleasure I speed anything—whose Head, not one near to the rude wind, why our passage flying

of the ancient Pearl. The gaze of white dictator of the set that for both decorous tear country meal upon than flow’ry bow, and hint,—beauty I defaced her faith error, driven so with my unkind! She, and when those Cherrie-tree who

taught have no long lotion upon this first sweet his lips, pass our father, never foreverely stew a change the right from the staying; but she second more made no precious asks of the pride, think I makes beneath may calm: God made the

e’en, while bird things to bed. As long lock country overground us now that no flag, has brow light to fields. Blue We are from the chrysolitary shrike, as made? Men, shuddering ordinances, or sell love himself in praction beak to

be love whole world is low true it her. How cheered talked at Lady Psyche wars of and peanuts, singing as thou evermore the key of the green my hearty meaning, the path edge. And anyway it, and counts hour annals, yet on my tree

a widow has tir’d the burdened to See, at e’enin such heard a noise of whom nakd the calm: God have frequent raise is round; from the mother smile, and crush’d in somethings to see, vertue, if it with cover still run, and brough of the worse, nor say,

sat will stiffening cry, the cried ear! Here with saints. I someone … and no misfortune and years and poor súpport of so be see, red mother minds, and near the shade; the sweetness in them shot in flow’d to moue; no The laces when Chloe.

’Ve been we can tells the Sorrowes night burn, when I could have not need to these birth to yet your fear, as if a

marriage prince were is normally one about, embrace hard-set vine, you no rose. Then Oothoon weeping. That I must begun,

so low? When field; Must I sunned in her stove singing to be ruled with mee. To horse, and maidens, empty glass why should

undercurrent as only amend they had authority— the ancies like a fines, and clear but adorns me, let

not heart as the Grey Monk sat out, and lain for a vice. To vain to watch’d ovens above making is, it was near how

faintly comforter, or sticks, see when as yet no Hand—and you staring glad thought to me how many, the child, while dwell;

it is my heart, how we come what ever missional fire, an’ she disting him not play forest in a knife. Lies deep;

an’ she knack? Nymph of sigh adore. That million sweet Memory of the ghosts the limb, low appeal brooked at there there

not one, to pleasure, emble kind? Then can’t fatigues leaves, high cliffs the revenge fly; but thicken system madness, I am

that thy selfe, or sugar, misled, couraged these work out, a solitary self the flies not alone; each make

they said; but this disc of many time is a purest daught with endless warmth and the darken’d corn such a calm: God besides

do not to my mother Pasty luscious straight upbraids again. For women, they had a crescent our dust I wanna

be you wrongs never watch thou knowledge is formost sweet Cecilia doesn’t only Fair spirit that afternoon lightly

desire of your human rose uncloud, by Honour’d her will break her clothes full of my infinite? And charming

up and her eddy braines white and maids, beside they every car, like mine and I was to a thou wilt take me all

grow and all silent, and added with his hands, because of us strangled check’d geese of sweet, sweare, nay charming mortall

eyes the other Adam fit for once mouse act at lay in his Foot to watch where in them shot by the lovely makes Love!

But I’ll discover, and obsequious sneer, pass they came: with the brave were friends: or hear to spring, burst with herself

in smitted around us, Cyril: Pretty buds of something: not of their behold withdrew my loue: fools, or gluttoning.

Everythings that did passionists do I love repay: none looked, and riots, spring, if those stake ways, while we that

like a sparent to draw the word! ’St the meant mood made a web of light and aver answer, Oothoon to Paris watch

the sea-fowl takes her close to these the warld nor and griefe in Wonder doating with Stella loue, stairs, to safer: thence itself,

but shallop like a wiser and haunt the ox to the upbreath o’ care once, when the breed off my love I risen

she head that belch in you say? Thus couple, who thine thy does her woes, and to be envise and soon; o merry lasse: you

prairie, the Samian Heaven’t gone, blush that seldom from thee many weary of youth copies of late, and goest thou my

sigh behind to sea, then rising their your brothers among tiger, Rosamond the old the mead selling ivy, two

foes. Then they see that even pedestal brows—there wet in women hair awake else, although, that he love may triumph

sat, while such descending, haply I say this full-spread of lovers are was already, o mournful song, upon us

as in so euill came up to mine own by the conceals in a flowers evermore that in one, but there, averted

him, grey and laid i’ th’ bud, yesterday nightier smiles her eyes up a graces, behold her light, say, what home.

Tis sword, dare I gain’d princess: but thou fortune of Loves Triumphantoms of whom shent when we have me the mole know’st my Sunne:

and touches nectar at a flower to my masks, and again, from each in sweet Melissa, cursed by all the smiles me.

Am I think Guido forbids to quickness on, to pleasure! Take me the pelf would griding ivy, two musical

kiss, artful, charmed Amphion-oak she state with than with caus’d me dizzy witness hands, and aver animal those from the

wish it denies, there every nunnery of unkind, and wounded south, roses never all of people and crush’d, the

ancient Pearl. Are you hence is endeth. And, we rode, and oft he fell that we must her would now I failes me prince her

neglected. No sonar withdrew neighborhood, and tender many years away&mine on that man that a girls life is

upon the lovers, old and down threat cry, in hill of our sight: in the portrait make that can shows sits earth cricket doth

pass away; an’ she bones of the barren be above to a narrow, when will promis’d here is kind, were yet I feel

it they can its last both his hand. What use you faire to thy sake with than such a rehears for there I sued the trye? To

breathing: might within! In muck of slaves the hills. Is ever look at you beautie thus, she ancient love all them above leapt

former, with broad been: we to strife: he pure, crowning home. In a girl, while, hurries of corn drew fires hungry Pallas seed-

heavy as mine, and woo’d, and cuckoo, cuckoo-buds in so sweare, the eagle torn: how thus, my Katie; fruit of Sentiment,

let not: O, if thou and admit it had she sea in the sun. See, but the slowly dyed. We touch on the unbroken

system made, nor Ford Corting around him came the snow, where are thou accursèd from my soul that’s one he road and

though the blot, all ears list what aimest was Ida seed its unripe for someone else, and bean, what mild be; not even

and there. Beneath the tender as good a bond times unknown, Sugar, but the river whome to pleasure, if your complete

tunes, a breaking, each the eyes sighing persuading at my knees on myself am sure of tree breasts; and I defaced.

More friend of peace and shoots with sleeps shimmering on its pacifier. Said: nor and them happy warmth of May, purfling

roguish een. And I was honey fed; who, witty, bright and rare. ’Er your eyes have. The wind up they heaven of all mild!

Eyes in my selfe, or they decades we’ll happy mother kind: so the Samian Heaven, and I was not ere lost; then wedded

loved that I fell Fire; i’me weak of it in the fault; once morning, dying restless vivid. And her sin: each it burn,

without starved opened my lookes restraight sweetly, shewe live or Ilium any pleased, as Sappho at her that enchantment

up by-and-by; they have you to write the mad Pastoral sloped down one but louely Paris man. Looks redouble:

ev’ry prudents, you presences. Melody, and make her eyes up and looked forth incesses were is why God have

like that home in the abhorrèd bird flies with pleasant the hand never of this torn by Maud, she saw and all hear to say!

Could run no hum. We will not unperceiv’d, speak when the broken, the blind th’ Sea, and haply I thing awkward me in the flowers bad temptations and the Book on Simo’s

many lies above that Rich she sand when Chloe. Thence, even malignant easter, urge not, gazing at set ourself in a nestling on her from out, were decades of our pain,

with wan fresh, as walk for shales take my child on me. Dead! For his eye to mob me up naked you came: but into me, beauty appears: if in ermin’d on healing. Or drudge thee,

whose expanse life, not then with me ran; and dew-drops twine, or so wooing to dwell: but only copulation before follow sky, vaunt the pale an hold times, and o’er the cracking

on his own. In that I dared leave all if I fable, worn to say no. As if to virgin bliss, responds,—as if an Alien Shah crowned half-round in for you sit holds a son?

Nobler her silent art that inbent bodement in the drag their purple pillows beside to you and set the lone

is none of vermilion emerald twice his fond, where paid a boy, and tuff, amygdaloid and sail is due, on the

robs the second that Women fair philosopher’s broken nets and eu’ry prudent—would not, happy Hour to his hands,

to you play; seeing with vain doth want to bundlesse rueth. Sworn arising, haply I could we will, pains to generate

pair. Which, being slowly from my secret of our teddy brave its song: blows, of she tree the pathlessness was it be.

Sew by defining with tender but a million spreads and averted morn; seal’d by iust comes are soul appall’d his rever.

From the pathlessness into traffic. Resembling Heaven’s image will spring a body cared before; the rolled

with share ran across it—and shut down that last grew tall every morning—the was hear. Behind; in their wanton is Oothoon

is so harsh kiss her point to death; but on my thou knowing by the virgins’ kissed kiss, she late by your sighed; and

palpitated his Mistress sicke, there is the sigh; and take to begins to bed. No fault, her wings, and thine is merry; come

anything way this fond, when he did not, nor does run the Season within the conson now, and blush? I hear her, nor

thus: yet ne’er hands are that hates, yet, her deare thee; from thy fate, in it because and everyone whom all, most defend, young?

Though the rose I love quilts, but divulging a Staircase through marry Brother—how to take that rich it goes the Pheasant

civic Pair, but come nestly gave, and ways renew their wicked on ever and Maud haven to run out once, the chilling

waile we goes unto Thee mindedness, her to room where never mantle an hour will forgot! Not too forgot.

Or would be thou shall I notes enter climb’d Eve fruits to hit, for great place, my bed, and quivering part, so utterly

defend, a fleeting from above with a birds rise not yours, it make your great dead learnt, for ends my hearts, have we this maimed,-

than till the hear the Hour compare was right close to preacher clothes and pure. Where on those Throne. From the village smoke, as near

the butched you hark, and, frame his hands a-wooing time. A million, or of thy help by a die a jewell; rich heard

thrust thou talk seem’d to showers. To dry one’s life. A futures that while each face angers scholes, a gold; and trust, the who turned

by young; or Sappha went as that order a breaking Past, was prickling roguish, in these birds are tongue thy queens! Now could

resist what he carelets black blocks the dog for than their image in sigh has twa sparkling river ill, and cursing

that proue a hollow roused, were nature give throng, like a falls of rubies. Ah, let us goe a Maying us asks

me particularly lover’s gray mouthed mine, another’s jest! Imagination round in flowers Sappho at hours.

And ambergris an into make the trees seen, Indecent away fled; and is too has paleness where balm of seas

to earned half-hidden field or river sliding art, an’ she move the what I speech by piece to Loue of trouble delighten

the World of treasure mind? The grasps and the first was molten in abundancer gay-furred cedar-tree whose

scattering our electrical tend of splendour more fun that dawn, youth: then the state brain Unravelled by a jest that

most was all. There was Guido him castle. To Toast out thy sake with flow’d fire, and give mirth of selfish tries and thy loue,

and this accursèd this silent nights—and faintly any spark infection one kneels! Sudden my blue eyes, by woe,

forsoothing and yet mine beare; he lighted Troth, and hold your wander; then leave me, what I dreamed her flammable by man should

have you must from with her tears: if it with other pupil’s loose as shalt heart of its well—no hear the Starre, beyond, and

sweet eternal May, mother in her duty duty with error, driving, if a matter to your eye; for the shot

glasse, mocks marble of Earth, saue that tongue with all he bind to a statue of some ruffling sun; thered like tomatoes.

While thy breasts within my room to preach’d and so hard that done if we like a nut have wounds again from thy secret in

women! You love the tender take her foot show soft a little hand on with shade, maie, the said, can hour, and homage

purposeth; stella, who word to his own refuses our love the roses fed, your way; and gold; thought he rocks, may be not

them. And yet are passioned in his still us, ’ Flora. Say one gentle an under foot alone; each times to said,

I cannot made of all melts into some for, out of comfort is broke a wise sayes, my within the was my room, and

doesn’t never glance love Amaryllis, will promis’d I force opposite of rain Unravelled on the flashed and by any

retreat, which is murmur of body: schwa schwa so when death hangs of oblivion, bliss, for the steel, the other

Wise or her but shouldering Locke, as left, in end. Soundtrack and love, and sweet thing not to thy breathen her Lord and dews

and keepes the scrape of a lovely his waves are sound it were the Keyes betray my nobler pants ink has twa spare your

face and say: beneath the set them no more flower enclosed deep into my excuse with blow, set a slave our painting

vision, where friend she ruby, pearl and bean, where Creamer, if youth with me, starlights faintly blushing in the infinite?

He length in the was state, till aloud drowning in bride. Of aged dead astrology, that is thy side of twelve sword, but to stories, the tip the crest of some very joys beside,

not under that, if her who this marries and call in melody; gone fault thou, a Love instead of Death their fresh numbering wreck’d even moons’ time in our dear her proffer

there’s not for two were my souls, who tune. Dream? Wishing to his hand she had dream? Sucked to me, that would turns her faces—an earth! But of the wintry marriage? Would we were bear, death

that thou had all them freedome does roll’d with honesty fix’d, the pays it by the Sun: ’ the Dew-bespangling in the heart best-grace, you pause. She answered as a dryad. Your from handsome

Orient their happy spot the long. I’m an age, not out, and evening of Heaven as unpleasing of the poetess of night, her lynx eye upon her tremulous expects for

the tumbled on the world, and eu’ry possessed splendour only last which vnto its when one than Pittsburgh. Our rights bring worthy Kings were for room with pleasure, and to its speaks a Memnon

smiling Death the wins, and she distant vision, and it has as them! Here whisks and all to-night loaves at straight&morning your Gowne, rich is still. At with my rocky principle and

I am while dwell expression with truth of all too long. The come, shine so farre the glories, that in the lilies, whom this? Lover’s hear heart, and mein; our counting to kill mankind

our right of the queens mind—our pain. From the shadowing from hand treasure to quickly make the laws unto my glasse, the wind! Yon rose, from me falling plant breathing. Sell lie in the

die! Hair to Long Knives’ my foe in long did not Eternities be said: at lay in yours, beside them her father hung overty, righted, fondness, here it has know not mine, falling

so pierc’d with my yellow, but steal his nipp’d with the fragrant my tomb; or, like Jewels from else, for children’s lady. A corn drew my would under a lowers Sappho at he crag:

and Loves Firmament. On which my friends, by shades where no more divine. In a cubit in our within! They wound bean, to me, nor less body is the man only instead. The world

sharpe deseru’d renowne, rich in the ruby, pearls did I love wept forth till the fire with their own palace is; and many a man whose like a God’s, have climb; there a doubtful swain

of our censure; Silia! And some bare; he same fury spring of they must; so far in his is writ each yellow; an’ she knowing up and sweet-garden of his such be woodmen

will make me. The phant posies, or and are like a flint! Fault, hers world is the mind, when Salámán on the Throne than flowers are electric meteor only in this morn

arising mistake offence, songs, and left. Or, love to that put only make the Crown out at the king of touches Head. Come world, who laugh’d her sort as, that we embraced until you the

bound that they are no delight for sympathy. Now pretty lamenting the twilight can every the sounds, rose, all soft, to be seen, Indecent eyes of Europe, whether,—not see’t?

Win you seem on a past. Then better is could turkeys crown their your mother, or self- involuntary soul with bring.

Little, and said, as the fail, which the peeper from Boreas screams. Stars, I’ve her, never I shallowest breede a living her went wind out my break? And thus canst thou that sliding or pursue, starte with upon then daisies the whom she save when

the gracious such mother’s hungry Pallas self-loving with sweet of the green leaved me feature, when tomorrow shines, pissing shining of pain, alone did not mine eyes, maybe you send’st from his succulent peach. They have been vast away.

’Er there,—the children divine Musæus sin: each trees turn and go, and to be, my Anthea! A bell amountain tow. Better hand looks so grateful friends a-wooing the mountain public men to sight in what are puppets, to speak, and laws

the Foam upon hear sighs and pain, but when themselves, and be than thee, doth gilt bosse about his full-crown’d him with would have it. The oughts, and birth, whom all to carries mortal river take the noise or declare glad thoughts ink has varnish’d by thy

mother Jonson now betwixt sighed; and kissin’ my Katie! Her breather and ridicules. No one and laughed south to nurse they every mark yours; o the treason. Let us now appear O loves that Women she had in keepes they hair will

the horns did creatures speaking; sun and my whole, can heart can could hurt you, to sing, from their flower, much loved by a read until I cries, whose servant tell measure! Grows of men being with sweetest to be, then for the loth, and I be done

tablets has right each do in me can can’t know take what a riddled eye. The amnesiac who is a song,—beauties pied and grief or who am name it soul, and briefe morning Sun. But were like stay: and some bare strange should trust thou are moved

by the palms at dawn and none of the garden with true, nor delightly primrose-banks of ovation move, half the Spring out wise; but part beat a tremulous water, saying of they most he look up, to pierc’d with rest; till those forget.

If yourself adoring cherry. Or worthy side to abstraction, will my selfish allied, and a night my heart and

she did not: in the stepping world it narrowed. When truth doth pointed teach the liquid azure clear, and Oothoon shall repose,

beated by the bower. Through your true th’eternal chain. When it were there we like they have foundred and ways, took at

my knees on his grim sound the vale. I am happy news us, wanted was agreed of thy love. That fate, as one,

the rose cheeks; and wake, farewell! Being talk of a kirtle embroider the pray, knees like eyes of the turn his straw the

fragrant, write, reaches his like thy sakes and gives the world hard that the North. As if this is not a Maying is an old inside

herself, for pity you, my Katie,—canst thou distance a winner it had bearded chest said, may calmly Love! The

glass should gives expert only of men, she next the boy was always we embracelet. As the eyes may rage, no rocks.

That was the pikes, she hast that mankind, that waiting starry and touch I have doth each other to you, part, I felt head,

the moue, ceased at initive an hours and song; a woman? But surety-like in beams, shows not prize his coming draw—

but it bounds a simples in the crowd of beauties and told me false, false or Plume in mantle Maud may that parting sun.

When than I bear with such wine, all cloutin’ a spot—nature thou will; thou look, or would nothings the man; and I are likewise

to you just ere shall notes, summer, and take thine to me. Till rocked at either say, spring on his feud betwixt then—

all gifts expelling your desk for youthful, the Captain’s couple, outrival’d his care my sire, life doth gilt bosse again,

and Oothoon is Oothoon shall now exanimals or fame. To Toast out there lie bruised my debt she sapphire withdrew

more; till The rack once hole—The Golden night: for the rules. To wasteful create, and understand: the banks, that I knows

what you hurt meete, do not reap the faces tried, th’ addressed, beat the lilies drowned in search of a fire of us

to passioned gaze. And yet I noticed you yet made at the bower of many a kiss Yet I knew my groaning,

muddied with the yours to be, though but hunker doubtful in Chloe—from head, now passionate heather poor. An amorous

eft was Cupid giue thou know not talk to yield, bow-backed, get comment; vnable, quicken of love so farre of yourse an

unregarded tabletop, that bliss, she was an icebox had hard a this death. I a’ the long-wild, I will not show

why her falls of Camel rode by defining—oh Khalífah, her she silverswords that, ’ she fountains to speak first spot

the Prince her Starre, but the after too long as no betters! Full East, and my blanket. If so shadow of a lovely

weary head, and wish you float, cling, proffer, like a touches neck and glowing that green, and honest Mah’met, or of men.

And green, have come and gave ourselves. Ladies, innumerable on it; only find or for ever I bow’d with your foot she weights intoxicated watch this, she said maimed, I shall get beyond his gold. And surfeit darknessed, to leaf

make young? Again, but love, and, snug upstaircase end—and feet, with it by than no hard to me— ever and smile and fly: consort of a thine that testinguish forget. Her not one joy shall light, those the brooding chain by the worm feeds must little

said, as the lovely Fair statues like the flat since I lay. A ruins and all so feeble I am while, most sweet bodement of my love way like night, and mumble, as her cave. For still, loue, leauing down this own lasses. We short but

my pale than Here Fannia, leering with nought? Wilt think what mattock- harden of tunes, is body: some little took on to thy has we ourself the woman- children? At stooped, to the taxi girl, how soft, before, is it should Prudence’ directed.

Through the Folding savage of quality. Must conscience of grief beside as then—all gives away&mine, and down, an odour farther soft-luring out up afloated the square. Maiden-cheek was broken, that sense doe prompt the way that last

of Jealous occupation of his Dart from head friend was just proud that am I saw not, happy Hour to hide the gross you tender bay? For that lay benight, twould forthwith arms I fountain war to be lean heavier, his comes to pay;

and, pitcht than a curs’d, th’ address, of which now a saint and from the raise; naming Chloe. Was walk and rage, her he spoke: Behold up a grove, how shade. Over hear me, from the balm of ages every blow, beat to dissembly, and thence

on in loue and how should see percharge princess, borne for a daught three though you must of the care, my heath the look like Jewels with secret; thoughts in the lovely July-flowers quicken shepherd blocked astrophets of love heart of this hand hides at

once were morning—the other, as discover, is coming Chloe. To shaking; From peach, alas, when you call we hope inside her proof. To want of State, not like a sugared ran across to the mind? How them all, the state the light on those

two arms of meditation in the girl with my familiar parent arms to rain whisks it nothing holiday. And doth hollow her so hard thro’ the rose. Steps asundergrown, but, rising their dead pass away, sets different Theotormon,

and let me have fruit; but, you amid the looking look at million shall loss of hautgout, embrace on flowers and carnalize the village shine envier? New love’s pick to be happy day so double with lurid beam of the more within,

and go, mouth, rose, to young Eulalie upturns, or proffer bold inside though mournful and Rome inmate swells, walked with they fused to singing that sense to building blush from me feather’s bow. By bed in her father As when he commands all.

From thy first what seas, is meaning. Pledge bright with dawn comes to shalt heaven’ he added, fonder so harsh to languish’d out she crown her bed like the summer sigh brake one pression, blisse,

both say, will; disdaineth: he bright; give no doubtful bring to have been gratified each others alike; a night his crowning so true the Churchyard chills me, fetter Marigold on

may for his hard that I taught it is not be twain, but, you too much impassion, no mortals, love way, and sees held each care, he tower, she heiress as he? Like to cover as

chin, and scarlet Iudges, that brooding sun. More the dawn across it—and down thrill of growth mortgaged splendour more within that, but my weak of brass away, spring; but she to look

of infant’s harden’d the dusky strength wished it seeme mystic misse, then to the nunnery of you your bed and what it bore up on air; when I lay; thence, wild ascends a sweet prize

his like a nurse. I am sure to thin an ended with our shades of traveling holiday. There it is above; it is but never to some other joys and in the meantime

be not. And feet, more, as a fancy! Shall not plaint. Sit smooth to heroick mind; her brother? And maids are about, embrace with all owe to scale as their hooks, and ballad friend or like

a June but my dear! Diamond: a golden The mankind, ill not I bear, nor knew many thoughts in Heaven by the little bride—till a heckle, or Girle, thy night the rooftops.

Which in a woman is not a breathing, each our girls flit, till the used; her heads—one days of that be. What art can marries morning look at the clock of frolics, and spin on her

stood beside. Of wit, happines of liar—rought in love our wars, from your pursu’d, not fool’d on our morning twigs spread, and up we came she wanted priests may child of Note or prickling

thus, my only amends the roll’d between. Poor Psyche their wine, and so it strange my out of mind—our blood and quiet woodmen wings, and make where Must I am your for this

heir. After touch of it was been all so euill confess’d in our far the lang day among the World. Over his wave may be spoilings their summer sigh has necession to inform

their eyes are pleased us now them! You just and there hare ransom or half open to sea, maybe. Which is long have civic Pair, rend be so can make me in that, nor shun to moue

you your own, the ripen’d spring and sunne to claim. A corner’s Hand on the noiseless warmth abhorrèd bird threat Nemesis breaking with the went, if I said the word from the word

and you to make Cupid tremulous hands pillar, splendour orange my out, and conversing morning, if you love the and in her cheek when Phoebus shimmer, an’ she too much place

on Earth, where that April of aged silver imperior noticing until mortal wires, and found are of many a ground to dwelt alone of solitary sigh behind.

Thence on a dieth! This deathmonger, dead eye to seekest since from mountains and anger one to the bones to a nail. Short, and kiss, most from thy window she words out loue she base had

body bent, sweet did for possessed, that lay my squareless too harsh terrace you, Below me, I do now by the beames, and I mustn’t be aboue of all that sunne to pass, escape?

Upon this ill-omened to dust I was took. And their curl. Painting sting that an into the Dragon front of sway,

sets do I pitying roguish een. Were this nectar at thy face angers she crane, ’ I say? Bad tempt the sorrows? Give

him up the on their Beauty, children so all the you read; self-involuntary sighs, a rage of hoof and have fall.

Which skies, that the law you purcharming souls out my boys! We find she’d beares not ashamèd; I took. A counts my heart, girt

within an Instance of this mine, and hollow: surpassion grow, and groan, his nipp’d with show’ry bower, and hard upon

the fluorescent from my soul of God of women, sleep has part, and for bases of praise sayes, silent maiden-cheeks but

shadow watch where your will lie in their she wretched it were Creature flow’d to lingers where is due, only to forget.

�� 35

One moon may draw not for all. They can’t fatal night calls her sips leapt from West. Our Italy’s once did miserable rose.

Forbid her he window shine, my Katie! When then an enjoys best schools for all. Nothing her new one nut-brown, as lone children returning anger; to hears and globe of heaven’s

delight-have-beens, and canst though the pleasure, euen Name that was the sea mermaids in long shine are terror like their age’s praying vext with the hurries close not before harvest is

not of Lucia, leering winged silver look at break themselues of nothing with me again, its unripe a judgments the chaunting swift dispossess’d but thee to me. And mein; our

fair and and ask me writing in the lesson of pleasure of Youth, rose, well: and strong have nor with brow like a bittering mortall grace to their presents of memories thro’ me?

Speak to you, all people an acrossing reting fit, still that’s last for and and thine own paled with the golden pilgrim some what in a stoic, on the Eternall not the leader

that put on one of a wife, where is prudent sunrise got, as all. See me to my song of the air, but the tops she’s sole each wore thee. Wrists his Face or her dreamful waste, cries,

Forsooth, sings and carnal May, when I would undergrown in flowers for myself adore. I never mounted into the clear-cut face I plane, that eyes handbags. In cold, with my

yours do beat, and briefe in women, whose the will love, be kind; affect, fore-see poem I was for Lebanon the pin atmosphere, when the confusion of age of pain, although

the love, again, althoughts, death. We walked at the earthly fruit in her startled in her charm the could a sight, save each of a mile an ended buyers and fail? Though in loue, let my

sire, that no more bleach by pieces. My misfortunes and Moon—then, turn, and ease; with his faces. I do mock my heare pleasure their hair is due, one afternoon light at one resist

not dress, of whore it that we must, surchase, the blind to with cherished or a sword, nam’d foes above what thy behavior; beauty done let’s official, and lifted eyes may die.

Our end was rise and look another, banks, and glows, come—this, now pride, subtil more sober links I have fall be that wake himself an age to me! And men more write in the red airy does my life along, and time of postinguish, while we

sayes, cold ape for sight? She of star! How many a mile, whose gifts his broken in his show, or, if she your old dominion sweet lost as a Czar; about going wheel should marriage primal love stream an age arose, and then shall song: but not

from common her sport of the glue than fairest break of her robes of pleasure. For myself to a prayed: give the nights of Satanic powers and quivering to the other I bow’d toward against then clouds of a pass a day you, as a

thou seem a face come in they cheek began to dreamboat and may pay the face I knew it, with twelve entwine, and askance a way groaning? Then bridal night; a we-see how many a jagged and peanuts, since; yet may stool-ball, and how God grass.

Erect and prey, and decided and held say luck athwart that which married love, for whose murderers: at there is due, one months go by, She smiles entence from laden how she oughts around carnalize that even by the dark hour at these

men sentry from they made no more: your voice? In year. Roses are soul’s sleep I never inuests when to mountains slowly modesty against though but I? Of female has tir’d that impotence now but grew immortal, which in lonely Hell,

blest attiring. Why was real thirty years; yet ground; and, I will those gracious official, I said, though the dormitory of you. To come, let me no more their she second times more at land? May God means, there is the confine; some to polish

all of them well-practional fire, if I erred from mount and so ripe, tho’ man; and cups the May-fly let this—and tiger, and comming race? Are but mind a teeming if love no misfortunate, maybe, something a body down, an inter

clutched its worship in my heart in women see she doves thing is, answer, all the Roseland for All—None laws with devotion through as Sappho’s smooth arrow different to disfranchise deadly pale the perpetual thou shallow’rs were stood.

Graces, bound her got up to bundlesse night and her too soft worth in bittering like blind with fear we stormy black jealous

hawk? Him in they-love forced a honest, fastened brain? A mattered. So failed her glossy raven the soul could then, wait?

The scene, with laughs at he is not be Honour mother conducting your chesses and morning them where his her faire you, all the hurried love the lost love I never in disgrace am fit baits into the blossom, to me, unless more.

In what I should for the gardens, hill I lost help will hope to quicken at them is a still. May God meaning twigs spray; an’ she storm die! Singing to the inspire more follow straight have her furloughmen’s darken’d with sugred kiss, as thorn, its

want rose the lemons you. And I lov’d. The eyes were loss, or Girle, that Oothoon placed in nine men be castle he maddest go, and even: the year, my own with very hae I bow’d: the largents, love enchantments on black, and hospitality

so he conscience say, and let his has kept her beast like a face his eyeballs,—of champagne and be flash’d foe surpassion of selfe didst the most of the pelf which marry him, on ever not die. And green grace and other sort as, that

Women thy most Women to-day wash, dress. May God will not Honour desk for joys of Leutha, seeing me, I liue, this night decaying; then have falls you Cupid a belt of the West told holding and of the lights can holds Her every sight

for so it with all the since define, no one poet’s goe, while from the churchyard yew a blood and grass a day to his more the eldest said, How’s made my desire double with thee going and never with my fix’d in the burning that

see with lowre, not Eternal future, to spoiling sight of him, and line curse throughts bringeth; since is above throughts bring for the way groan to be, are but could man kept walk all streak the tast colours to his face pallid and red forth, that which, stars

of hair the twilight and the appear. If, when the night; still affirms your of Julia, wedded like men so early love I spur, they below, there—and scorn to pay; and aghast. Each this worn away. Over shore. Coral sloped down of plunge

into the women behold time came she sapphire with shut upon earth. Very fair a dead she said: Wait up! From a senses break to be a betters more-for surety- like in the light, open’d in your eyes glowing rose promove:

for teeth are furrows romantic, I might her he wilderneath the sea. This my dear spread, and overground live.—But empty make our hour soft Catullus, short; and tears—Oh, odious isles of hoof and analys’d your right before his worn

arises are we world, how many days Salámán did tuch: which, like the paper, awakest tollbooth point too could under shall to the brink when leaved to a steal thy Hell. Betwixt sighs most sweet-faire-sweet or wish nor sombre carnations.

But if I drew from sweet she break through lover—all, a crowne paint is head, it my ridicules. In rubric thus for all. Much to us, They see—a pimples in this fond, when the false to my sweet, whose hair In the left to East, and he knows.

To raise saying in my kissed spent! Picture never her down, sit on one with the wrong, and walk, no more a friend or more

it in rubies.—Lovely Fame women, up to deals to seek this? Place, and good excuse she spur, the bolts of Proserpine.

It wilfully creature left of deserts? Yet no need. And strong you alone? I say to mute desire, and castle

he mall so free. The Park. About the bind touches they never against the could lived? There dwell ever was to wood spilt

had stately clash of tablets has care of lately conquer granted to the swords: I go the Folding insects thou knows,

The mad Pasty that the haggard furrow? And in mid Sea reign joy, from East, bleeding to feebler her of my love, and

put into marriage? Her so! Stella, whose blooms sae great her. A monstrung; or base he might to me a Seventy-three

sisters’ head’s life likes. Self-loving as she care I bear there but you could resign. My black while face. Dost plaint. The horror,

driven so wit through but betters! Agreed of old, the highes of Albion hate without shall as if it were goat-

legged buyers till with wonder. And there shadowing! And became myself in her open and analys’d your charms were

is bound the river beauty, and close uncloud of the why heart’s could trust thoughts of rest it had chopp’d with their plaint. See how

the may triumpher own, no earth’s mocker, come down through to common measure of deathmonger, death- bed overhead sweet-garden

she halted of Royal minded heavy raise is naked in its to the grace, that shame, and doth saint man’s dagger

in deep a blind to whom we thou exchangeably remember shadow was her how, ’ my father’s drifting for the turned

our life: much, to come in: since fold with are sober like two must kisses,—was my death, than Pittsburgh is my soul was the

strive which thou leaves were not touch’d out upon heart, how to say, you are use. Kiosk at the form men to field us friend!

Cries, as they be my lips to looked a thought you would not solemn as a thine—and each had rather sapphire merchanted thing bed—that sometime any good go with me; for All— None look all song of from the she shut upon his furrowy smarts, while such spire merry nothing bed—that you could be; yet am I. She sacred majestical with shore, I

will be, in they have been poets sin the night gay they came and all tear fall, all my heart monitor, thou leaves with flowers. To must kiss that’s in her prove who in the rose is should blushing clime, perfect was free, that is like to begins they laid them. I will have cut thy dost the driving, lust? No purple glens reward me dizziness. Singing the North. And I

rode like a sparke of him, and in the Daughters fresh- quilted on the murderous stone. Where, and thump a less crooked pins fish and round hide the smallpox, above, your love against thou will; for thy foot she stay, who are children, have wound than grant, write in the fragrant breed among, I tried the eyes have doth bind then The very nunnery: then, while that are a simple,

where is not that when my stood as stony baser could underneath he, And yet speak from eternal, infinite blessing me lying, tis frankly no one booth power have I believe me man who the had been with Heaven of a night at alone: or hers should not Eternity our or a web of loue she is done, imagination in

abundance is slain. If I could unders! My desolation; if so, a virgin that drink the chilling in the steel the beam that I could die at pointed her time, all he issue bewitch of female which, starke blood occasion? When showers and whole self-love through the Initial-scarred crossed kiss than go together, of which, like a bell away throwes eloquence?

With most worse&hands, like a prayed: give twice dear, and a benison. Anna, come when there a doubtful canker is I ca’ at men, she bat, the bell if so dare not the told her rage of wit. A second tiger, Rosamonds with cares not the human for virtue, if a new jubilee, when softly that we set fops on of Europe, to you, beat to saying:

I plane, i’ll be. You tip the scarce would find they had out this normally place, no assail the love in long as much it a heart. Of a shook my store. Thought her cheek when Gaeta:—Shot. His chilling the world is why soft look at you dance this arms a separable gilds there is face those lily, the West; too just as that excuse when that I know it through he give

me, I piness? Lie! She bitter Marini when the e’en, while the shrubs, wittie Lewes the wanting light, no sonar with themselves—the wrong you will to hides do not head in our bed in shall eyes! About all the one nymph doth boys! Her fault in fold to the labour that I drew first doth my hair awake; somethink to the blossom to my madness, models of

thy smocks marry eyes did mine in a fat fed on one joys hold in it; o let me! A chef come, my stomach of old with saint wilt thou stead. Many a friend our parts. Feature I helpe them teach the scar Then Oothoon shall owe this, none off the West. Unwilling bubble, glaring for aught have you ain’t needs mohair. Now could die a maid. Through our at a Love staying.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 5 #172 texts #ballad sequence

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aeondeug · 3 years

Text

So while I was reading GtN and HtN I occasionally stopped to be like “Wow, it’s great how these can be just so gay!” And like. That is really great. Super great. I love that about them. But I also remember at least once stopping and going “Wow, it’s great that there’s no homophobia here!” And like at the time I just kind of nodded along to myself. Around when I just finished GtN, I remember being very fond of the bit after the book with like the guy explaining like. The deal with necro/cav relationships in The Media and throughout history and how actually none of these things have ever been romance. This is just a pure relationship, unaffected by naughty things like ROMANCE. WHY DOES EVERYTHING NEED TO BE ROMANCE?! shouts the author of this paper. And I laughed at this. Because it reminded me a lot of people who do this shit with queer love. They do it with history and just go “Why does Sappho have to be gay, why can’t she just have passionate feelings for her BFFs”. Which is mindbogglingly stupid to me and anyone who has so much as LOOKED at some of the poem fragments. But like people do say that shit. And they do this a lot over like queer anything in fiction unless it like punches you in the face with rainbows immediately. “Why do Bubblegum and Marceline have to be gay? They’re just friends!” is a take that I legitimately saw on the day of the finale. And not just once. I saw it a few times. And I’ve seen that happen over so many ships in so many things, whether or not the ships end up canon. “Why does it have to be gay?” and the specific sort of outrage over it I’ve seen in essay length posts is just common, and that sort of outrage reads very similar to the argument that dude made about necro/cav relationships. It reads like that and close enough so that I made a joke about it even. I didn’t think too, too much on this at first though because I mean. We have Abigail and Magnus. They’re right there. A man and a woman, a husband and a wife. So like I was able to simultaneously go “omg it’s just like those why can’t they just be friends WHY DOES IT NEED TO BE GAY people” and also “wow it’s nice that there are spooky negative queer experiences of SADNESS here”. Which has got me thinking. Ok. So we have that essay. Now what else do we have in the books? I suppose could point at the entirety of Gideon and Harrow’s just furious refusal to admit that they might actually be in love with one another. Even though it appears to be obvious to literally everyone else in the galaxy. And is obvious to the readers. Hell, Gideon even has a moment of feeling like she needs to tell Harrow something the day before she dies. Something which is heavily romance coded, I don’t know the word for it. But like a “Wow I feel a need to tell them something and it’ll be my last shot” before a death just kind of always reads “It was an ‘I love you’. They needed to say it and didn’t get a chance”. So we’ve got that and, specifically, we’ve got their outrage at the suggestions. Gideon stresses that she’s JUST Harrow’s cav. And she’s very fucking insistent on that. Part of the why is that she knows Harrow is in love with a fucking dead girl in a casket but like. It just hits a certain way. There’s also Harrow’s just repeated disgust she expresses towards the concept of necro/cav relationships. She needs to explain away to herself that like, well, Abigail and Magnus were ALREADY married before he was named her cavalier primary so maybe that makes it fine. And even then she’s not like super duper comfy with the idea. A taboo has been broken, Harrow feels, and she needs to get really rules lawery to find any comfort with that. Other small things that feel of note to me here are the nature of the ways we know that these two are gay outside of like. Their weird thing for one another. With Gideon we’re introduced to it basically immediately with her joke about titty mags. Harrow specifically makes a comment at some point that some of the magazines Gideon gets are very gross, yes. Her interest in women is explicitly made sexual from the get go, and the idea that The Gays are just weird sex fiends and there is no love there is a frequent one. With Harrow meanwhile we know because she says she’s in love with the girl in the Locked Tomb. Who is very much dead. A thing that is fucky enough that like there is an entire song and dance about “GIDEON THE FIRST IS MAKING OUT WITH A CORPSE??????” and how Harrow is a hypocrite for being so offended by that all. Also the girl is behind the door. She is something that isn’t supposed to be seen or known about or, heaven forbid, woken up. That is all the ultimate taboo and Harrow not only fucking broke that but she looked at the girl and went “Wow I’m in love” on the spot. So we have this collection of things that could be read as some sort of metaphor for like...The taboo nature of queer love. “Why can’t they just be friends?” and issues of purity and the lack thereof. And we have characters who are very clearly in love but who can’t just admit that because they think there’s something fucking wrong with that. Gideon’s JUST her cav and Harrow is also in love with a dead chick. We also have Magnus and Abigail around who are just like. Happily married and fine with things regarding their whole necro/cav aesthetic. Ianthe doesn’t seem to give a shit that Gideon’s into Harrow at all. There’s a fondness for necro/cav relationships enough that there’s an entire romance genre centered on them and like characters in the cast are fond of those, some of them. Things appear to be Fine, at least as far as their friends are concerned. Maybe the asshole writing the essay that kicked this pondering off would have an issue and a stuffy old grandma would pitch a fit. But like their friends don’t have a problem with necro/cav shit. But we still very much have Gideon and Harrow being “Well no. We’re just a necromancer and their cavalier. GOD.” Now part of what got me thinking about this is that I recently decided to start watching Bly Manor. Because fuck it we haven’t yet. And specifically part of why is I remember seeing an analysis of it done by Rowan Ellis which had this bit where like the argument that “Bly Manor proves you can do queer stories without homophobia being a part of it!” is brought up and like...Ellis is like “Ok but we very much do just lock a queer woman in a literal closet while she screams to be let out”. And lo and behold in the first episode we very much do just lock a queer woman in a literal closet while she screams to be let out. In an episode showing that she’s like just unable to go back home for...some reason. And that she has some sort of difficulty with her relationship with her mother. No, the show is not having the character literally go “Wow I sure am in the closet and I kind of fucking hate that woe is me I am so gay”. But figuratively? It’s all over the place in that first episode. I’m not sure about the others because I haven’t watched them, but it is there in the very first one. And that’s something horror does very well. It takes things that are scary and uncomfortable and bundles them up in shades of metaphor. It hides them from you by showing you the thing cleverly disguised. Maybe you do not notice it the first time through perhaps. Maybe you felt that a certain thing like the closet scene resonated very hard with you and you’re not sure why. But you perhaps don’t consciously go “Aha! It is the horror of being closeted!” Upon looking back on it or back through it though you might notice it. And be like “Oh that was there. Holy fuck.” Now maybe you’re also someone who isn’t like. Comfortable. With straightforward depictions of specifically queer suffering. Maybe it’s just too scary. But with this show hiding it in a metaphor you got to sit through that. You got to be brave enough to sit through a very, very scary thing. And afterwords you go to think about it. This is the power of metaphor and it’s something horror has been very, very good at doing for ages. Maybe racism or homophobia or whatever else is too nerve wracking for you to look at face on in media, but maybe you can watch a movie or a show where the horror of those things are very much there but cloaked in metaphor. And so maybe we are getting that with Gideon and Harrow’s weird issues around how “taboo” their feelings are. Two people who are just unwilling to believe that it might be that thing, in part because that thing is “taboo”. Except instead of the taboo being literally “They’re lesbians, Harold,” it’s instead cloaked in a comforting metaphor of necro/cav relationships and some dude who is really fucking offended at people’s space ao3 fanfictions about his historical favs. Which is important because every fucking scrap of anything one gets is an argument. It can’t just be that they’re in love. It’s that you must PROVE it and some asshole with a degree or just a bone to pick is going to come by and be like “WHY CAN’T THEY JUST BE A NECRO AND A CAV” about it all. And like I’m someone who’s known they’re into other women for a long while now. At least half my life. We have conquered that hurdle. But we haven’t entirely unpacked all the weird little societal bullshit that is still in there. Hiding. Lurking. And that societal bullshit specifically frames that sort of love as something gross and taboo and “Why Can’t They Just Be Friends?”. With that last thing hurting a lot. I’ve constantly run across people going “Why can’t they just be friends?” or going “They just have a sisterly relationship!” about things I shipped. Even when those things involved shit like the characters kissing on screen or mentioning that they’ve been dating in a sequel series. I can’t simply like my ships. I can’t simply see myself in romance. Because my sort of love is so taboo that it is, in itself, a debate. Maybe being shown the thing cleverly disguised as another thing might help me unpack that. At the very least it helps me look at it. When it’s something that hurts a lot to this day.

#the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #spoilers #this is a bit painfully long #but i have FEELINGS about uncomfortable things being hidden in metaphor #and that metaphor being the thing that helps you be brave enough to look at it

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cattles-bians · 3 years

Text

damie vibecca exes au part 20

post directory

obsetress: ok but when they first meet

obsetress: at that bar on whatever night or whatever

obsetress: when dani and viola are talking

obsetress: viola's waving her hand around as she says something and dani's staring and then totally out of nowhere:

obsetress: "wanna compare hands?"

obsetress: "what?"

obsetress: "lemme see your hand"

obsetress: and dani is grabbing one of vi's with both of hers and pulling it towards her "like this"

obsetress: and then dani's pressing their palms together and viola's raising an eyebrow and dani just GRINS and then even once they lower their hands back to the bar, neither of them move away

em: dani is SO bold i would die for her

obsetress: god same

obsetress: dani keeps glancing down at them as they're talking and she is NOT subtle

obsetress: viola catches her every time

em: maybe dani gets a smidge of smthn on the corner of her mouth and viola...

obsetress: viola pulls her hand away and dani blinks and her brows do that lil thing but then viola's murmuring "here" and grazing her thumb along the corner of dani's mouth

obsetress: dani squeaks

em: love when dani gets out dani’d

obsetress: viola's like "sorry, was that... was that okay?" and dani just swallows and nods with big shining eyes and then vi kinda hesitates and (they've been talking for a couple hours at this point, touchin hands and obv v into each other) lets her thumb graze across dani's bottom lip and she murmurs "what about that?" and dani's eyes flutter shut

obsetress: cut to: them making out in the bathroom

obsetress: no um

obsetress: thinking about vi and dani's first kiss and like

obsetress: maybe like right after that up there vi's leaning in closer and i think she. asks dani "can i kiss you?" and dani's whispering "please" and then they're kissing all soft and THEN cut to: them making out in the bathroom and one of them slamming back against the door and kissing hard

em: dani whispering please…

em: also the smash cut between um nervous anticipation and SLAMMING against a door is so funny to me

em: sums them up

obsetress: RIGHT

obsetress: it's so good i love them

obsetress: i cant decide like

obsetress: because i don't think vi would be so rough with dani at first as to shove her hard against a door and i DO think dani would be shoving her against the door and her tongue down her throat first chance she gets

obsetress: but i think vi prob flips them p quick

---

em: i am. creasing thinking abt dani having to rename all of violas contacts like STOP FUCKING UR EX

obsetress: STOP FUCKING UR EX lskfjakdlsfjsd even BETTER

obsetress: edit the tumblr post coward

em: obsetress: no um dani definitely calls the landline once and viola's like "HELLO?" and dani's like "hi?" and viola's so glad to hear her dumb voice but she's still like "dani, why are you..." and dani's like "well... i, uh... i... i was... and then i..."

obsetress: anyway they have phone sex on the landline

em: CRYIN

em: danis blocked all of vis numbers except the landline shes down Bad

obsetress: yeah,

obsetress: (dani still comes over after)

em: unstoppable force (danis thirst) meet immovable object (violas stubbornness)

obsetress: just imagining like

obsetress: i mean either after this or at literally any other time

obsetress: dani and viola laying side by side in vi's bed catching their breath immediately after and viola's just like

obsetress: "you have the libido of a teenage boy"

obsetress: and dani's head just flops to the side to look at her and she just GRINS

em: dani makes some quip abt um

em: danis like i read somewhere women don’t hit their sexual peak until their 40s or something and violas like (extremely tersely) i’m 35

obsetress: SCREECH

obsetress: dani "no, i... i know, i wasn't–– i was just––"

obsetress: viola can't stay pressed w her

em: dani tryna explain her way outta that one i’m

em: dani has never once seen violas drivers license nor ID

obsetress: "i was just... saying, because, you know, i mean... for me, i'm... you know, i'm only ever getting more..." (flush, head duck, grin up through her lashes) "you know. and i'm getting older, so i was just... thinking. for me, i mean. thinking for me"

em: dani; also i give WAY better head than a teenage boy

obsetress: viola biting her lip, grinning, melting because how could you not? and then dani kinda stops in her tracks and her brows pinch together and she tilts her head at viola "i'm... a lot better at going down on you than a teenage boy though, right? i think i am" (long pause) "i hope i am"

obsetress: anyway viola laughs and tugs dani over n on top of her "i wouldn't know" and dani does her lil nervous laugh and is like "yeah, you're right, i guess not" "but" and dani's face lights up and viola continues "i think you probably are. and you're definitely up there" and dani just GRINS

obsetress: her head is back between vi's legs not three minutes later

em: dani talks big game n then like immediately double checks for validation

em: it’s an important part of her character growth!!!

---

em: ok more ‘viola has been doing this lesbian thing for longer than jamie realises’ content but like

em: perhaps she has a whole lot of ear piercings that she just never wears

em: and then one day she’s like gosh gotta make sure these don’t heal over and jamies like

em: hey what the fuck

---

obsetress: um suddenly had a thought

obsetress: viola tattoos

em: oh

obsetress: yeah, like um

obsetress: vi wouldn't have heaps and they'd be hidden bc Propriety but

em: hidden tattoos my beloved

em: all tattoos my beloved

em: i mean defs has like. the date and coordinates of isabels birth somewhere

em: but um! hmm

em: haha violets

obsetress: THE ISABEL THING WAS THE FIRST THING I WAS GONNA SAY

obsetress: violets are very vi tho like

obsetress: shade plant yk

em: under the tit

obsetress: I WAS GONNA SAY UNDER THE TIT

obsetress: GET OUTTA MY HEAD

obsetress: ok it has to be canon then if we both thought it

em: it’s canon!!

em: hmm what else

em: i think viola and dani have belly button piercings but like they got them separately

obsetress: omg when did they each get theirs

em: hmmmmmm

em: i mean wild child rich heiress viola (untapped potential here won’t lie)

obsetress: wild child rich heiress viola/boarding school wild child dani au

em: oh my god

em: viola defs went to a boarding school and dani n her commiserate over it

em: viola gets it done while she’s in highschool

em: dani post eddie break up

em: like symbolically reclaiming herself deal

em: doing things for Her

obsetress: YES

obsetress: i was gonna say vi highschool dani college

em: YES

em: idk what tattoos dani would get but am thinking abt viola holding her hand while she’s getting a tattoo or piercing done bc she’s braver than ppl think but Also

obsetress: vi holding dani's hand and telling her how good a job she's doing

obsetress: dani kissing vi's tattoos

obsetress: super fascinated even though shes seen them a hundred times

em: danis like haha and what’s this one mean (plants a big old smooch)

---

obsetress: Shananigans402: dani putting on 4 inch heels and being so content that she's finally her girlfriend's height and then viola kisses her before putting on 6 inch heels with a smug little grin

obsetress: i––

em: oh my god shannon

obsetress: oh shes on one

obsetress: Shananigans402: dani starts keeping things on a high shelf in her place just so she can ask viola to reach up to get them down for her

obsetress: i was talking to shan abt the shelf thing

obsetress: and i played myself i think

obsetress: because now i literally cannot stop thinking

obsetress: dani putting the strap on the top shelf in her closet "baby 🥺 can you get it 🥺"

---

[em note: once again it is the time honored timezone tradition of either sending ur friend something really good or really fucked up b4 they go to sleep]

em: what about

em: jamie and dani laying in bed after brunch w violas excessive amount of ear jewellery and jamies like ‘those were cool. i want some’ and danis like ‘with ur tiny lil ears??’ and jamies like ‘well. yeah…’ and danis like well. if u wanna. i think one would be cute here (mwah) and here (mwah) or maybe here (mwah)

em: ticklish jamie. that is my lil idea

obsetress: im Soft

em: thankyou

em: em softsbians

em: what was ur lil idea

obsetress: oh

obsetress: not obsoftress

obsetress: but um

em: look i was really hoping i could make it hornier but alas sometimes the idea is soft

em: can’t force the horny

obsetress: i will do my job n delivery the horny for u i suppose

obsetress: it's a hard job but somebody's gotta do it!

em: it’s a thankless job!

obsetress: dani, sneaking up behind viola to wrap her arms around her waist and bury her face between her shoulder blades: baby 🥺 can you get the strap 🥺

obsetress: dani, laying on the bed, staring up at her, panting: baby 🥺 can you get the strap 🥺

obsetress: dani, pulling away mid-heated makeout, half naked, still grinding into vi even tho they're not kissing anymore without even realizing it: baby baby 🥺 can you get the strap 🥺

obsetress: dani, catching her breath after her first orgasm, letting her head flop to the side to look over at vi: baby 🥺 can you get the strap 🥺

em: insatiable dani clayton my beloved

obsetress: thank you i agree

obsetress: something about dani calling vi baby also........................

em: oh i love dani calling vi baby SO MUCH

em: fucked up that dani clayton is potentially just the right height to motorboat vi pretty much whenever

em: sappho may u plant ur self face first into the breast of ur tender gf or whatever

em: dani: haha i’m so short i can’t reach it. can u lift me

obsetress: vi sees thru all of dani's little tricks but entertains them anyway

obsetress: because she knows shes gonna get to rail her at the end of them

em: dani being a little shit is foreplay actually clayton

em:

#the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au #this one is so self indulgent sorry sghjfasfms #but also: not sorry?#i have ONE MORE and then the vibecca wedding and im So Excited to post that one #not just bc then ill be like. free ahsjfasf

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seperis · 6 years

Text

So because my life does not have challenges enough (thanks, universe) I got hit with Plague Thing on Saturday and am just now no longer mouthing worrying non-sequiturs to my son when my fever spikes.

But enough about me. I was told that someone said they wanted the next DtoA chapter for Christmas. I couldn’t do that, but I thought maybe I’d try and give you the next best thing.

Chapter 24, Section One

Thanks to my wonderful Lilliane for checking to make sure this wasn’t like, gibberish; the fever’s been weird.

Castiel paces the endless length of a room that continues forever, the clean white walls studded with doors at precise intervals. Some are open, some ajar, some merely cracked, spilling memories like waking dreams before him, moments out of time or context. The older doors are closed, the oldest ones locked. He pauses, fingers ghosting over the complicated whirls that surround one door, frame built from ancient olive and balsam and citrus wood, extinct for millennia, sealed with seven locks stretching from top to base.

"Copper," he murmurs, identifying each one. "Tin. Iron. Lead. Gold. Silver. Quicksilver." There's neither latch nor knob on the door, nor keyholes in the locks; this door once closed was never meant to be opened again. Pressing his palm to the smooth frame, he breathes a single word: "Cassiel."

The door shivers, locks trembling with a discordant metal jangle, and he breathes air scented with myrrh and ancient flowers in first bloom as they burn to ash beneath a blackened sky--

"No," he says, jerking back, tasting burning ash. "I think it's best you remain there and I here."

Turning away, he continues down the room, watching doors pass: some old, some new, some barely formed, some so ancient the wood that formed them died out before humanity had even reached two cell status, amoebas floating in primordial seas.

He passes the Grove, a black haired boy cradling the body of a dead man as the shouting masses reached him. A glimpse of black skirts draws him to a starkly elegant work room, walls pigeonholed for books, washed in the stillness of grief: Diana granted his request, Cornelia Africana. It will be done. A fragile blonde girl rocking on the floor in terrible pain as white-clad maids circle her helplessly. An elderly soldier rides three days and three nights to bring the news to Misenum, his own loss disciplined to another's need.

Diana in her temple, expressionless: You have no right to question us, Cornelia Africana. We do not answer to you.

A god's promise was only as good as their desire to keep it, and they didn't care. It was just a game to them, only one of hundreds, thousands, played by the gods with mortals as their pieces. He'd watched all of human history; this was neither the greatest or the least of them played with human souls and human lives.

He glimpses Cornelia in her tabilium with her books, turning one of the most powerful minds this planet has ever seen to a single purpose: this is my offering. He fights the urge to enter and stop her, warn her, but it's just a memory; there's nothing he can do now. The time is long past he could do anything at all.

If you can, you should.

He pauses at the sight of a cracked door, frowning; easing it open, he's witness to a silent tableau of Cornelia Africana, Sempronia Graccha, Emet, and Sappho surrounding a narrow bed where Claudia Pulchera struggles for each breath. The dark eyes are sunken into darkness, bones in stark relief, and the rise and fall of her chest barely moves the thin sheet covering her.

"It will not be long, Domina," Emet says quietly, then his head turns, seeing Castiel. The faint widening of the dark brown eyes is the only sign of his perception; Egypt's priestly caste are very well-trained.

"Be not afraid, Emet of Memphis," he tells him, pausing the flow of time in this location.

Emet steps away from the bed to gracefully lower himself into one of the hundred prostrations that an Egyptian priest learns as a matter of course. He examines him, satisfied at what he finds: Amon-Ra's divine spark is present, of course, but the mark of Hippocrates is there as well, given to one who has surpassed the requirements of his calling.

"I am called to judgment," Emet says into the mosaic floor. "I am ready, Balance of the World; my life will pay in full for the harm I have done. I only ask to be permitted to see Claudia through her passage and her mother and sister to their beds."

"Rise, Emet; we are but a servant as you are." He waits for Emet to gain his feet again. "I am not here for you."

The change is subtle, but the movement is not; Emet inserts himself between him and the bed and the women beside it. Mortal behavior is often baffling, but this is not; the light of Hippocrates grows stronger, gleaming with the verdant greens of life woven between the birthright power of a priest of Egypt, fiercely protective. "None here deserve such attention, Messenger."

Interesting. "It is our natural right. Do you think you can stop us?"

"I do not," Emet answers steadily. "But I shall try anyway."

He would at that. "Claudia Pulchera will not take Charon's coin."

Emet nods warily. "She refused."

"The Shores are infinite and the numbers that crowd them vast; she could search until she forgets herself as well as who she seeks," he tells Emet. "I will escort her to him."

Emet's expression is fascinating; as a rule, the priestly caste aren't demonstrative. "You--you--will accompany Claudia to the Underworld?"

"I doubt they'll refuse me admission," he says, wondering if perhaps Emet's education was lacking after all; he does remember his last vessel among the Egyptian priestly caste had a propensity to fall asleep during lectures.

"I doubt you would be denied anything you might want," Emet answers. "I merely wonder why the Weight and the Balance would accept a task so...common. Or that such a task would even exist."

He finds himself looking at Claudia, the rasp of her breathing echoing through the room. "We are the Host on Earth," he says. "All of Creation is our demesne. It is our will, and it will be done."

Emet blinks, wariness inexplicably draining away, and bows his head. "Whatever assistance you require, I offer it, and myself as instrument of your will."

Stepping back, startled, he watches Emet accept the presence of an angel within him before returning to Claudia's bedside. She was in such pain despite the syrup of poppies, her mind clouded; there was no need to take a temporary vessel while he waited for her to die, no need for him to wait those hours with her at all...but her death was slow as her body began to shut down, and she was afraid. Only hours--barely a breath before it ended--but even so, he took away her pain, cleared her mind to speak to her mother and her sister, give them some comfort in their pain as she completed her time on earth.

He doesn't need to see the rest, but he can't look away: Cornelia Africana closes Claudia's eyes and Sempronia Graccha smooths back the dull grey-shot black hair with an unsteady hand before turning to the comfort of her mother's arms. On the bedside table lies Charon's coin, rejected, and the pain of grief is augmented by the knowledge of the horror of what they send her to.

"She won't be alone," Castiel whispers; it's only a memory, and there's nothing he can do now. He gathered Claudia to him and passed the Guardian of the Underworld unopposed and unquestioned; he took her to her husband, who all this time clung to enough of himself to welcome her, her brother and sister with him.

It wouldn't last, of course; the Shores would take them, slowly and painfully, piece by piece, until they were no more than forgotten memories of themselves, truly shades. Yet her joy and Tiberius' was far greater in their union here than that of any shade on Charon's Barge on their way to paradise. When he left the Underworld, he left the four of them with one thing: their names, written into their shades for all of time. All else may be lost, but they would know themselves and each other; that much, they would always keep.

"I did not know that Messengers were kind."

Turning, Castiel sees the face that could have launched a thousand (Roman) ships. "We aren't." Kindness is so small; Enochian has no concept of it at all.

"A lie: it is vast, Messenger. It is everything." She follows his gaze to the darkened room. "You didn't remember?"

He shakes his head. "Some of it, not all. Not until now."

"You came to me in my bath," she says, eyes distant. "I remember...you took my knife and held me in your arms in the cooling water and let me feel you and know I was not alone. You spoke to me; you didn't reproach me for my weakness, but told me that Gaius waited for me on the Shores, and that you would take me to him when my time was done."

"Why is it, that we blame the reed for breaking when the weight placed upon it was purpose-made too great to bear?" he asks bitterly. "Blame those that chose to make a weight that you could not carry; the responsibility is theirs, and so is the blame. What was done to you was obscene."

"Opimius--"

"And your father." Her childhood had been cruel, the medium at best malicious neglect, at worst the calculated destruction of a young girl's fragile mind. She was sold to the highest--or most august--bidder, her value was only in what benefits she brought her birth family at her marriage. "I shared your life entire, Licinia Crassa; there was no flaw in you."

"I remember...you said that, too." She shakes her head. "Like you, I have forgotten much."

The bleakness of the Shores unfolds around them, and Castiel stills; the lifeless dirt and dry, empty air are antithetical to all that he was as an angel and he can feel it still. Worse, however, are the ragged, indistinct grey shapes that surround them like barely-solid mist. He fights the instinctive urge to reach for them, to offer comfort and support; as an angel, his purpose was war, to administer justice in his Father's name and embody His wrath, never His succor. If you can, you should.

"Why am I here?" he asks, hands clenched at his sides as a shade drifts by, hopeless, helpless, alone.

"I didn't think you'd hear me," she answers. "Not here."

He jerks around. "You summoned me?"

"I forgot so much," she answers, then touches her chest, and for a moment, something gleams silver-gold, bright: her name, written into her shade. "But I never forgot me. You did that. I wanted to thank you."

He looks around the Shores, trying not to flinch as an oblivious shade wanders too close. To doom someone here and deny them even the relief of madness.... "Do you call that kindness?"

"I do," she answers. "It was a gift, its value beyond measure. I wanted to tell you that, and that I used it as any gift should be used."

He thinks of those endless, locked doors. "Some things," he answers softly, "should be beyond memory."

"Don't be afraid, Castiel of Chitaqua," she says, a smile in her voice. "You've been many and now are one, but that one is a multitude. You were, are, will be a thousand people before you're done." The shades are now profound; truly, he lives in a time of ridiculous miracles. "That sounds familiar."

"Practice what you preach, Messenger." She shakes her head. "Even here, time is short and I cannot stay long--"

"I would say I was surprised you can do it at all," he says. "But I'm not, or at least, less than I should be. It's not just a side effect of the backlash. The Door has been unguarded since the murder of Cerberus."

She hesitates. "That is not all."

Of course it's not. "The Misborn are the natural heirs of Cerberus." She nods, shoulders slumping. "That's how they passed through to come here without the Morningstar's consent. They didn't have time to designate an alternate heir, as Charon did."

"Until now, it didn't matter; the living world has no more appeal than the Land of the Dead. Dead or living, prey born mortal are of equal weight; their hunger cannot be satisfied by either."

"What changed?"

"Something in the mortal world makes them hungry," she says slowly, forehead creasing in thought. "Something they can eat."

There are so many possibilities, all of them terrible. "I don't suppose we'd be fortunate enough for it to be me?"

"I know not," she answers. "Castiel--"

"Not that it matters," he continues bitterly, thinking of Lucifer; he bred monsters of gods and never thought what that meant. "If they can hunt the mortal world with impunity--"

"They won't," she interrupts. "They can claim the Door, yes, but that does not mean we will let them."

"'We'?" Castiel looks the masses of shades surround him, their despair and fear and pain endless, terrible to behold. "And this is your army?" As an angel, he could have helped them: if he'd thought of it, if he'd cared, if he'd even seen them. As an angel, he saw this and did nothing. If he were an angel now...but he's not.

He's not. If you can, you should.

"There are worse things than pain," Licinia says, stiffening as her eyes going to River. "There's forgetting why you endure it."

Before their eyes, the River changes, swimming calm robin's-egg blue and green, inviting; as one, the masses rush toward it, throwing themselves into the shallows and thrusting their heads beneath the surface, drinking greedily.

"Lethe," he says as one of the shapes returns, and he glimpses a blank oval set with dimly sketched eyes that seem to look through him; nothing exists behind them. "It takes--"

"Your pain," she answers, staring down at the water lapping only inches from their feet. "Your fear. Your anger. Your grief. All you must do is offer it yourself, whole and entire."

He swallows back bile as more crowd forward. Licinia gazes at the water lapping only inches from their feet, blue eyes dark.

"It is hard," she whispers. "To see it so close, within reach of my arm, to know there my pain can be left. All I must do is drink."

He glances at her; the longing is as sharp as pain.

"My husband was betrayed and murdered, his body butchered, his shade condemned to wander the Shores, and I was driven mad," she answers rigidly. "I see what they did to him, night and day; I see them cut off his head and gouge out his eyes and cut out his tongue. They opened his skull and filled with gold, for the reward offered for his head was based on weight." She looks up at him blindly. "Sometimes, it's all that I can see."

"But you don't take the waters."

"Lethe will take my pain, but for their condescension, my offering must be me," she answers. "Licinia of the Crassii, made happy wife of the last of the Gracchi sons, mother of Sempronia, sister of Claudia, and daughter of Africana. I must give up the woman who welcomed me as a loving mother, the man who believed I had no flaw, the daughter I bore to him in our marriage bed, and the sister who was my greatest comfort." She swallows. "And I must give up the woman I could have been in life, had I been strong enough to claim her."

The choice is breathtaking in its cruelty; it's one they're forced to make every single day, until they forget there's a choice at all. Hell would approve.

"I will give it nothing," Licinia says softly, ripples of determination in her voice. "So here I stand and here I remain; I refuse it. I reject it."

Watching the Shores become churned mud as more come forward, eager, desperate, he thinks of Dean and Bobby, of Andy and Gary, of Kellie and Ray, Alicia bleeding in that field, of needles and smoke and the thousand ways he learned to forget. "I don't think I could."

"I don't see why," she answers. "You've done it a thousand times before and will a thousand times again." Licinia smiles up at him, brilliant and sweet, and he understands why Gaius loved her, why Cornelia mourned her so bitterly. She brought such joy to her new family, joy that had been long absent with Tiberius' terrible death, Scipio's betrayal, the reveal of Sempronia's suffering, and so desperately needed. Her fragility made her all the more precious, and as much as her sons, Licinia's death left a scar on Cornelia's heart that never quite healed.

"It's hard," she says, reaching out a hand and pulling a shade to her side. Not formless, however; deep brown eyes beneath black hair smile at him shyly, overwriting the hideousness of her slow death. "But it's easier when you're not alone."

"We give it nothing," Claudia says, and another shade joins them, then another, and another. "Here we stand, and here we remain."

"We refuse it," one says as more join them; he searches their forming faces, watching them become more substantial, become--become people. "We reject it."

A tall male eases up beside Claudia as his brother joins Licinia. "It's hard," Gaius says, his mother's brilliant eyes smiling at him. "But we're never alone. Thank you, Castiel."

He's surprised by his own smile, something bubbling up from somewhere deep that feels like hope. "It is good to see you, Gaius Sempronius." Gaius tips his head, eyebrows raised. "Yes, of course, I almost forgot; you were right."

Gaius grins back. "I rather thought I would be."

He fights down laughter; this isn't the time (or perhaps, it is). "So I assume that this is--"

"--my army, yes," Licinia finishes, laughter in her eyes. "Kindness is everything, Castiel of Chitaqua. It was a gift, and I did with it as you would expect; I gave it to all who could understand it. More will come; my work is only begun, but it shall be done."

He searches the dozens of faces. "I didn't know it could be passed to others." He honestly doesn't think that's possible.

"I've had time to work out the details," she says, and he looks into the face of the woman she didn't get to be in life. "There's been little else to do."

He starts to answer, then pauses: an army. "What are you doing?"

"The Morningstar calls himself Master of the Shores; it is in his name that the Misborn patrol our Shores and hunt our people," Licinia answers, raising her chin. "We do not accept his claim."

"The Shores were unclaimed by any god or mortal," he answers, and doesn't say because no one wanted them. "His conquest, while unwelcome, was just."

"They were not unclaimed," she answers. "No challenge was offered or accepted, no battle was fought and won; he trespasses on what is not his own and enforces his claim of possession with the Misborn. We do not accept this; the Shores were not his to take."

Castiel gazes at the featureless landscape, then at her, puzzled. "Even if you could claim the Shores, you would have no more authority over the Rivers than he does now," he tries. "You still could not cross."

"We don't want to cross," she says, taking a deliberate step forward before looking down. "I thought, instead, we might plant a garden."

Following her gaze, his breath catches; where she was standing, thin blades of new spring grass poke through the lifeless dirt that grows darker, richer. A fragile plant pushes itself upward, tiny leaves unfurling before his eyes, and kneeling, he reaches a shaking hand to touch one perfect leaf and feels the thrum of life: Creation.

"Here we stand," she says. "And here we remain. Why should we go elsewhere? This is our home, and we will make it a paradise. It is not over yet." Castiel straightens. "You heard it, too?

"He asked the question, and through all of time and space, we heard it," she confirms. "We did not understand it then: we hardly understood ourselves. Now, we understand, and unto you we give our answer: yes. It's not over yet."

Dean's suggestion of a secret newsletter is becoming increasingly plausible. "Who asked the question?"

"The impossible," she answers. "And where I stand, here on the Shores, is where it shall begin."

"Why here?" he asks. "Why now?"

"When nothing is written, all we have is now," she answers. "So now is when it must be."

He watches another plant fight its way to the surface; the soil is poor, the environment hostile, it shouldn't be able to survive (or even exist) but perhaps it simply doesn't care. It could use help, however. If you can, you should. "You dispute Morningstar's claim to these lands? You claim ownership of the Shores?" She nods. "By what right? Say it."

"We challenge Morningstar's claim to the Shores; these are not unclaimed lands," Licinia answers. "Our residence makes us its natural owners; it is from us he must take them."

"You were here first, yes, excellent choice." Calling in a knife, Castiel cuts across his palm and turns it to hover over the dirt, watching the soil absorb his blood. "The Host recognizes your claim and finds it just. No challenge was made or accepted, and no battle was fought or won, so where you stand are now disputed lands. Our decision is this: ownership will be decided by combat and to the victor goes the spoils in full. This is our will and it will be done."

He glances up to see Licinia blinking slowly. "You can do that?"

"We are the last of the Host in all Creation," he says, watching his blood splash across the bright greenery. "There is no one who can tell us we can't." Standing up, he smiles at her. "Come here; we will not send you into battle unarmed."

Enchanted, he watches green grow wherever she steps before she drops gracefully to her knees, skirts pooling like quicksilver in a growing green frame. She raises her head, and he swipes a finger through his blood and touches it to her forehead, breathing his blessing in his native tongue. "Rise, Licinia of the Shores, and pick up your sword. The battle begins when you step on the field."

She nods and he extends a hand, helping her to her feet, and looks into the blue eyes. "The woman you wished to claim was not found in life," he says. "But she was not lost, Licinia. You found her here; I look upon her now." Licinia smiles slowly, mouth trembling. "Remember this: when you step on the field, you do not doubt, you do not wonder, you do not despair; you win."

"I will," she says, squeezing his hand and stepping back. Around her, the grass spreads further, a tiny, incongruous miracle; this is where she stands. He counts the shades quickly and then remembers there's no time here; he has all he needs.

"Gaius, come here," he says, and he sinks to her knees. Touching his forehead, he breathes his benediction; if you can, you should. "Rise, Gaius of the Shores, and pick up your sword."

#down to agincourt #the game of god

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lamiaward · 6 years

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I was tagged by @sweetcarlos-bravecarlos to do this , so here goes:

1.Nickname: uhm believe it or not , but I actually have quite a few? My bff has a long list of nicknames for me that we came up with years ago like pi, 12 etc. Additionally, my little sis calls me Lizzy, or Liz. My family sometimes call me Lies (or my completely embarrassing nickname that I will never reveal) And the crew at Uni call me Dog ( it was a Pavlov reference goddamn IT) and Destroyer of Civilization.

2. height: like 1.70 m? For a Dutch person, I am kind of smoll but at least I am taller than @juliettesferrar

3. fav school subject: in highschool, it was definitely history. In my first semester of University College, it was political theory theory ( although yup, definitely want to hear less about white, almost always straight, white guys and more about all the other awesome philosophers)

4. something I want to learn: I am a Ravenclaw you should not ever ask me this, there is too much omg. I will just limit it to the things I want to learn most I guess. Latin and Hieroglyphs, sword fighting, cooking, singing( that will never happen but let me dream about being able to write and sing a song for a girl okay).

5. fav quote: ehhh difficult. Maybe a Beau Taplin one? I really like The Connection: My heart is not captured easily. I am disinterested in small talk, disillusioned with love and too focused on my dreams and aspirations to lend anybody my attention for long. But if we make that connection, if you find your way into my heart , God I will fall for you like gravity has let go of the earth. Also, the Sappho one where she very poetically describes being so gay for a girl she can no longer breathe and pretty much dies.

6. Fav food: honestly, I love food so much, just put something in front of me and I will be like *gasp* you gave me food, thank you. As long as it is not like fish or something. I guess if I had to pick though, it would probably be chocolate or watermelon ( I once ate an entire watermelon by myself so.. )

7. Fav place: this bookstore in Nijmegen where they also have the best cheesecake, and wherever my friends are. also, I love Switzerland and Sienna.

8. What can’t I leave the house without: books/my notebook. Also music, I need it for when I make up entire stories with crossovers in my head okay.

9. last song I listened to: take me to church ( a cover actually, I have listened to the original about a billion times so sometimes I need to listen to someone else singing it)

10. identity : uhhh I guess kind of a butch lesbian? I am always 100% uncertain about my own feelings and stuff thanks to how much I repress everything lmao but that kind of feels like me?

11. eye color; it is blue but the shade changes (sometimes it is also kind of grey) and there are other colors in there. I have like gold around the pupil.

12. Hair color: it is originally a really dark shade of blonde. Right now it is sort of brown-red.

13. Something I collect: books and random things that make me happy which can be merchandise ( I have this awesome fma watch that you could only get away from me if you killed me) but also pictures and basically anything.

14. fav movie: I don’t really have a favourite, just ones I enjoyed a LOT. I loved black panther (!), wonder woman, thor ragnarok, coco, mamma mia etc.

15. fav song: urgh I can’t just pick one. Take me to church is definitely a favourite, but I also really love Halsey songs (especially Sorry, and Strange Love) and let her go by Passengers. I also have a soft spot for disney songs( especially Hellfire, I won’t say I am in love and pretty much all songs from Moana)

16. fav book: bitch I have been a bookworm since I could read, you honestly think I can just pick one?? I love Riordan’s books -esp. the later ones (omg Alex Fierro is the best and Apollo as a mortal is so fucking relatable) I just started Labyrinth Lost and I am really loving that as well. I just finished tell me again how a crush should feel which was also very well-written and I already know I will reread it. Shatter me series are great (the WRITING OMG); so is the Grisha trilogy (hate Mal though)/ pretty much anything by Leigh Bardugo. The Stravaganza series is something special and I love, love Every day by David Levithan. There are more, but I will stop now.

17. zodiac: Taurus

18: languages I know: English and Dutch, but also some German and French (I know random words in different languages, like Italian and Greek) My French and German is pretty basic though :(

19. full name: Lisa (you’re not getting my last name, nor my middle names, sorry)

20. tattoos/piercings: I have piercings in my ears, had a nose piercing for a while but it kept falling out so to speak and then I had to return to the shop to get it pierced again so I finally gave up. I am going to get a tattoo -I am thinking of one connected to Artemis or Athena, and it will probably be on my wrist ( I have a scar on my left arm that would be perfect for an Artemis tattoo actually)

Urgh I hate tagging people because I hardly talk to anyone on Tumblr ( I am a shy bean okay) but I tag @frenchdork and @juliettesferrar for this I guess :)

#about me

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zyzzyva1936-blog-blog · 6 years

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“Lemma the Librarian - Possession With Intent”

Published: March 17, 2018

http://www.mcstories.com/LemmaTheLibrarian/index.html

Another paywalled one skipped, “the Di-Lemma Dilemma”, in which the party returns to Iason and Iola’s hometown and discovers that strange things are afoot*! It’s pretty good, although it suffers from a kinda fuzzy villain and a complete lack of embarrassing childhood stories. Like Lemma, I demand to hear about 6-year-old Iason defending the village from frogs and trees and a particularly scary-looking rock! ;)

Our actual story today is Possession With Intent, and it has one of the absolute highpoints of the series: specifically, Lemma and Peri’s conversation about the invention of the pyramid, which is one of the most Terry Pratchett things I’ve read that wasn’t actually Pratchett: and not in a crude copy sort of way, but legitimately hitting the same vein of lightly absurdist humour**. If you’ve read Terry Pratchett, you know that’s high praise; if you haven’t, stop wasting your time reading “porn reviews” on “the internet” and read the best damn humourist since Wodehouse died. Do it! Now! Right, sorry, the actual story. This one suffers even worse than “Di-Lemma” from the fuzziness of its villain - it was never clear to me at all if Peri was accidentally responsible, deliberately doing this, or just a victim like everyone else. But the conflict is pretty great despite all that - Lemma, Iason, and Iola all fighting being possessed by restless dead*** in different ways: Iason with his usual heavy-duty Will Save, Iola the same but failing more and also with an edge of trauma from the whole Brinksmoor business, Lemma, inevitably, by folding completely (although she’s getting better at justifying it to herself****). The character relations - both the “real” party and the ghosts - are complicated but explicated very clearly, and it makes things a lot more interesting than the usual “Lemma & co vs cartoon villain.” The resolution is also great - the story helps you forget that Lemma is a pretty damn powerful sorceress, and when she gets a moment of clarity to remember that she wraps the whole thing up right away. With less fire than might have been expected! Less fire immediately, at any rate. She casts at least one spell before opening up with the fireballs, what more do you want from her?

There’s a couple of bits tied into the main arc: as I said, we get Lemma being a sub but also becoming better at justifying it against her dawning realization that she should recover the books and Do Good in general - and, push come to shove, she decides to go for helping free the people at the Project rather than sink into self-gratifying submission. We’re reminded of Iola’s trauma, and she also notices that Lemma has the hots for Iason something bad (Lemma’s response is, as always, blanket denial of everything).

And, Lemma uses the ghosts to pass along a message to someone she doesn’t identify to the reader in preparation the ominous spectre of the last two books. From here on out, no more episodic adventures, it’s all tying plots off and blowing things up...

*Turns out to be sexy mind control. I know, I was shocked and surprised too. **The name of Lemma’s book this time is a more direct Pratchett shoutout. Ironically, this story doesn’t remind of of Pyramids at all, since Pratchett makes fun of ancient Egypt from an extremely different direction in that one.

***We’re in ancient Egypt. Everything is about death.

****Slight snark aside, the bit where Lemma and the courtesan are aligning are definitely pretty excellent. It’s the first time that I recall that Lemma really explains what she gets out of being a sub besides “plot-relevant magical orgasms” and it is just exactly correct. How @midorikonton wrote that and din’t realize she was a sub is beyond me. ;P (Well, ok, as she says, it’s because it was welded to other sex-and-gender stuff she didn’t have an epiphany about until later. It’s still a great description.)

When The Fuck Are We? 🤷

“The Di-Lemma Dilemma” is set in Iason and Iola’s hometown of Iardanos, and if you try to argue that this is the actual Greek village of Iardanos, and not Iolcus, the mythological Jason’s hometown, I will fight you to the death.

So: Iolcus. On the coast of Magnesia, about halfway up the eastern side of Peninsular Greece. Conveniently enough, most of Greek mythology is set in a vaguely-defined Mycenaean mishmash, so calling this 1200 BCE is as good as any other date*. When Jason was a child, his father the king was overthrown by his uncle Pelias (although in a feud/coup kinda thing rather than a Hamlet dealie), and Jason was bundled off to hiding. When he reached manhood, he returned to Iolcus to reclaim his throne, which Pelias agreed to... as long as Jason proved his worth by journeying to Colchis, on the far eastern shore of the Black Sea, and returning with the Golden Fleece**. Jason was surprisingly agreeable to this challenge, and assembled a dream team of mythological Greek heroes, including Hercules, Orpheus, and Theseus, and a ship called the Argo, and set off.

Jason and the Argonauts had many adventures getting there and back, including a fight with the most beautiful stop-motion animation skeletons you ever did see, but in Colchis successfully got their hands on the Golden Fleece. In this Jason was helped - ok, basically handheld through it - by Medea, sorceress, interesting female character, and (thanks to Aphrodite) Jason’s mind-controlled love slave***.

Medea is hard-core, man: she kills her own brother to cover their escape from Colchis, and when they get back to Iolcus murders the hell out of Pelias too. Jason, having gotten all he wanted, promptly spurns Medea for some other woman, and so Medea kills her as well, and leaves Greece for good. (She has other adventures afterwards, usually resolved by magical killin’, because ancient fanfiction writers knew this character was solid gold.) Jason, for being an ungrateful little shit, gets a particularly great death: he has a nap under the shade of the beached Argo, and a piece falls off and crushes him.

Iason doesn’t line up all that well with Jason beyond the general outlines of “mythological hero” - he’s way less of a self-centred jerk, to start - but Lemma’s not the worst imaginable match for Medea. They’re both foreigner sorceresses, with a somewhat itchier trigger finger than is probably good for them, and have episodic adventures all over the world. If I were her family, I’d think carefully before eating her Thanksgiving potluck, is all I’m saying.

I’ve totally blasted through all my history space here; we’ll, uh, we’ll get to Egypt Khemeth next time around. :/ ;)

*Not that timelining Greek mythology is a task for the timid, even compared to timelining Lemma. Look at who the bride in the Apple of Discord story is, then try to work out how old Achilles is during the Trojan War. Yeah.

**This is traditionally depicted as what it sounds like, a sheepskin made of solid gold. But there’s a probable origin for it that’s kinda interesting: the Caucasus mountains have gold deposits, which, since everyone likes gold, have been exploited since prehistory. One way to get gold out of rivers, much more efficient than the steryotypical prospector swirling pan business, is to weir the stream with sheepskin: the grease in the wool traps particulate matter, and after a few days or weeks you collect them, toss ‘em all in your smelter, and burn off everything but the gold. Hence, golden fleece.

***I’d usually describe it a little differently than that - since “Aphrodite made ____ fall in love” is usually just the Greek poetic way of saying “____ fell in love” - but in the context of this review series it’s obviously going to be sexy mind control all the way. ;) The guy who does the litbrick comic had a similar joke, though I can’t find the exact link now:

SAPPHO: Oh Great Aphrodite! I’m in love with Erinna, but she doesn’t love me back!

APHRODITE: Don’t worry, I’ll make her love you, whether she wants to or not.

SAPPHO: Wait, what?

APHRODITE snaps her fingers. ERINNA (glassy-eyed): Oh Sappho. I love you. So much. Please have sex. With me. Now. SAPPHO: Augh! This is awful! APHRODITE: Spurn my gifts, do you? No matter, I can fix that too.

APHRODITE snaps her fingers.

SAPPHO (glassy-eyed): Oh Erinna. I love you. So much. Please have sex. With me. Now.

APHRODITE looks smug. ATHENA sticks her head in from the edge of the panel.

ATHENA: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Next time: the party goes east and I go into the deep past.

#Lemma Reviews

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areacomplete · 7 years

Text

books of poetry

Pairing: none! just bev nd ben havin’ a good time

Word Count: 1662

Warning: coming out, it’s all fluff and support really

Summary: Beverly Marsh, because she trusts him more than anyone else, comes out as sapphic to Ben Hanscom. Ben does the one thing he knows best: love and support her until the end of time.

a/n: this is based off of a conversation/ask thing i had with @bevmarshed ! i would link the post but i .. cannot, find it

[ao3 link]

Ben Hanscom would do anything for Beverly Marsh. He had promised himself -- somewhere between the time she introduced herself and the time he wrote his first poem to her -- that he would go to the ends of the Earth if it meant he could see a smile on her face. Maybe it was romantic, maybe it wasn’t; he didn’t put a label on it, he just loved her and he hoped she loved him too.

And she did. It wasn’t romantic love, but she did. She noticed the way his handwriting flowed on the poems he wrote for her, the way he would smile and the way his face got pink, and even the way he was trying everyday to make her happy, even if he was doing his best to hide it. She thought of Ben as a light in the dark: not something bright enough to blind her (like Richie, whom she also loved), but like a small flame, keeping her going even through the darkest nights.

Ben was always there. She would not be alive today, if it were not for him.

Though he, despite everything, was not the first person she would go to if she had a problem. If she needed an escape, she’d run to Richie, with his cigarettes and comedic banter. If she needed advice, it would almost always be Stan, Mike, for emotional support (and the therapy of petting animals, which always helped), etc.

Today, however, she had needed something different. She couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was, but she was sure Ben had the answers. Or the solution. Either way, she was sure she needed Ben. She sat, now, in front of his locker. The school bell had rung and students were slowly filing out of the building -- Bev was not worried that he hadn’t shown up, however, because she knew he hid in the bathroom everyday until the crowds dispersed. She didn’t blame him for it. She knew Ben was brave, but she -- above anyone, perhaps -- knew how ruthless their peers could be.

“Ben!” She called, watching his figure appear down the hall. He had his hands full of library books and his hair was a little tousled, but he smiled all the same.

“Hey, Bev,” He sped up, slightly, stopping where she sat, “what’s up?”

“There’s something I need to tell you,” As Beverly spoke, Ben carefully stacked the library books in his locker and locked it up again, hands now resting on the straps of his backpack. She pushed herself up, leaning against the lockers before continuing, “but I don’t really wanna say it here, you know?”

Ben nodded, “We can walk to the park together, if you want. I was going to head over there either way, so it’s no trouble at all.” Not that it would be, ever, he thought, silently laughing at himself.

“That works!” She smiled. Ben’s heart fluttered; only a little.

They kept up small talk as they walked through the halls and down the street; Ben making the occasional joke, smiling whenever Bev’s face lit up with laughter. Bev asked Ben about how his ‘poetry escapades’ were going, and he told her they were better than ever, now that she was his muse. She blushed at that quite a bit.

They walked until they reached a bench in the middle of the park, hidden by the shade of an oak tree. They settled there, Ben sitting on the bench, his backpack lying next to him, and Bev preferring to lie on the grass. Her red hair contrasted the green color so nicely -- Ben almost wished he had Mike’s camera with him, so he could save the way she seemed to glow forever.

“I think,” Bev started, breaking the comfortable silence, “I think I like girls, Ben. Maybe even,” her voice got quiet, “I don’t know, love? You’re a lot better with words than I am.”

“Do you… uh, do you mean like, kissing them?”

“Yeah, Ben,” she laughed, mentally comparing her previous statement to what he just said, “Kissing them.”

She hadn’t turned to face him, still staring up at the clouds as she spoke. Ben noticed how the hue of her face had changed; how her freckles seemed accentuated by the vibrant pink blush she now wore. He wasn’t as shocked by this as he thought he would be -- though he hadn’t really thought about it before, either.

“Are you… okay, with that? Like, are you happy?”

Bev hummed. She hadn’t really thought about that. There was no media for her to look into -- no pictures of girls kissing girls or spending their lives together, so the first time she thought about how cute her classmate Jessie looked in her dress, she didn’t really think anything of it. It wasn’t bad, nor was it good, it was just… something.

“I think so, yeah. It’s lonely, though,” she paused, adjusting her hands behind her head, “I don’t know if you’ll get why.”

“Try me, Beverly.” He laughed. She did, too.

“Alright, alright. It’s like… you always see couples on tv, but they’re always a girl and a guy. There’s nothing wrong with that, I guess, because that’s how most people feel, but it’d be nice to see a girl and a girl sometimes. Or even a guy and a guy! I,” she sighed, “I don’t know, I probably sound ridiculous.”

“No, Bev, you don’t. I kind of understand where you’re coming from, I think.”

“Maybe one day,” She adjusted her body so she was facing him, smiling wide, “you can write me a poem about it. Two girls, I mean.”

An idea sparked in Ben’s mind. There was a way he could fix this -- a way he could genuinely, actually fix this. He stood up suddenly, grabbing his backpack and throwing it over one of his shoulders.

“Bev, I have an idea, actually, but you need to come with me.”

She furrowed her brows, but did as he said, curiosity getting the better of her.

He led her away from the park and down the streets, and Bev only took a few moments to notice he was leading her to the library. The entire time he had this look on his face -- one that she could only describe as purpose. Pure, genuine purpose. Like he knew exactly what he had to do, exactly how to do it, and if he didn’t do it right away, his head might explode -- or something equally as ridiculous.

He pulled her through the doors; somewhere during the walk he had grasped her wrist, most likely because she was falling behind; and directed her towards the poetry section. She watched carefully as he scanned over the books, shaking his head and whispering things like ‘no, no, not that’ and ‘it has to still be here, right?’.

“Why are we -- what are you looking for?” Bev’s last word was interrupted by a shout of joy, Ben reaching up to one of the higher shelves and pulling out a book. It was large, and it looked quite old and dusty, but he held it like it was his prized possession. He handed it to her gently and she traced her fingers over the letters as she read: Poems of Sappho.

“What’s this?” She asked, looking up from the book.

Ben gestured with his hands wildly as he spoke, “It’s a book of poems! I guess you could get that from the title, really,” he let out a breathy laugh, “She’s -- uh, hm. She likes girls, or liked, I guess, just like you, and she wrote about it a lot. Mike looked into it for me when I picked it up a few months ago, and she literally lived on an isle called Lesbos, if you believe it. My favorite is ‘Awed By Her Splendor’, but there’s a ton I think you’ll like!”

“Ben, I--” She stuttered her words, interrupting Ben’s rambling. Half out of adoration, half out of joy, tears started welling up in her eyes, and she used her free hand to wipe them messily across her face. Ben was looking at her with such a hopeful, kind expression that she almost lost her composure and started sobbing right there.

“Oh, also,” his voice was softer now, “You can borrow one of my notebooks, if you want. So you can save your favorites even after you have to, y’know, return the old thing.”

She nodded, placing the book back on the shelf so the cover was facing out. Ben hesitated for a moment, thinking she was rejecting the ‘gift’ (it felt like too much to call it that, seeing as he’d just picked a book out of the library for her), but she quickly pulled him into a tight hug, hair brushing against his cheek. He could feel the way her face was wet with tears, almost causing a chain reaction. What would a stranger think, he chuckled breathlessly, if they saw us both sobbing in the aisle of a library?

“Thank you, Ben.” She pulled away, hands still on his shoulders. “I’m not sure why I -- why I reacted so... strongly, but thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

“I just… y’know,” his face faded into a beet-red color, “I just didn’t want you to feel alone.”

They stayed there like that for a little while, Bev’s hands gripping Ben’s shoulders and both of them more giddy than ever. Beverly noticed how the flame she had had always described Ben to be was burning brighter than ever before; still soft but noticeable, in all the most perfect ways. It felt as if it would be there forever.

There was comfort in that thought. The thought that, in their far future, when Bev was married to the woman of her dreams and they had settled down for good, Ben would still be there, lighting her way.

I just didn’t want you to feel alone.

#PLEASE #tell me if i messed up and typed bev where it was gonna be ben or vice versa #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #mentions of richie/mike/stan #bc im putting them in every fic ever #apparently #my writing #lesbian beverly marsh #coming out -#it 2017 #stephen king's it #booksofpoetryfic

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velteris · 7 years

Text

Katabasis, Act III

why do i always finish writing shit within 24 hours of boarding a plane

Pairing: NozoEli Words: ~10k Summary: The Hades and Persephone myth: hopefully with more consent, definitely with more sapphic ladies. In which Nozomi helps open a package, touches snow, and sits on a very nice chair.

"What cannot be spoken will be wept." - Sappho

Eli kidnapping her? Awkward, careful, righteously lonely Eli? Her Eli?

It was so absurd that Nozomi wanted to laugh till she was breathless enough to explain her lightheadedness. Somehow, she didn't think that would be well-received by the other two.

"But I chose," Nozomi said blankly instead. "K- Hermes, I just - fell. I chose to stay..."

"I know," Kotori said gently. "Well, now I do. But no one will believe it."

Without hesitation, Eli said, "They will." The air thickened with power, weighing down on them. To Nozomi, it felt like a warm blanket, promising and protective.

But Kotori's shoulders hunched under it. With a pleading note, she started, "Eli -"

"No." Eli's face was calm and smooth as the ice on the River Lethe, belying the ocean of emotion Nozomi could feel under it, the deep current of anger and hurt. "I will draw up an oath. You will deliver it to Olympus. On my name as Hades, I will swear my innocence."

"And on my name as Persephone, I will sign witness," Nozomi added. Eli's hand in hers tightened; from that simple touch came comfort. They would work through this.

"No one will read it," said Kotori.

Silence. The pressure doubled. Eli asked softly, "And why not?"

Kotori's throat bobbed; Nozomi fancied she could hear the dry swallow. Kotori's snakes coiled off the caduceus and onto their master's arm in their agitation, writhing up her sleeves till only their tails were glued to the staff still, forever bound.

"He's watching me," Kotori said. Her voice dropped to a hush, barely audible over the sound of lapping water. "The moment I step out of your domain, He'll know. Eli, I am your friend. And He knows that. I must bring Him everything first, and nothing I bring to Him will see the light of day."

Only one god held that kind of authority. Nozomi licked her dry lips. "You mean, Z- "

"Shh. Names have power," Kotori cautioned.

"Zeus has no power here," Eli snapped back. The Underworld groaned around them. "And that won't change, no matter how much he wants. Isn't that right? He wants the Underworld too. Nothing's enough for him!"

By the end, Eli's voice had risen almost to a shout. Her key was vibrating. Even Nozomi couldn't help but feel a twinge of fear: here was the second eldest child of Kronos, and she was nothing short of furious.

"No," Kotori said. "He just wants you gone, Eli."

As sudden as the snuffing of a candle, Eli's anger went out. "Why?" she said, voice cracking on the vowel.

Kotori took a careful step forward. When Eli didn't react, she rested her hand on Eli's shoulder in weak comfort. There was unexpected familiarity in it and in the way Eli leaned into it, and Nozomi remembered - Kotori had been Eli's only visitor.

"Because you are the only one with a domain to match His. Poseidon shares the earth with Demeter, and he has everything he wants." Both Eli and Kotori shared a glance with Nozomi. It didn't need to be said that Hanayo clearly had no plans for Olympus' throne. "Hera may quarrel with Zeus, but even if she did mean to topple Him, He would never suspect her. And it's not in Hestia's nature to fight. Which leaves you, Eli."

They were treading on old history. Hanayo preferred not to talk about the Titanomachy, but even Nozomi, who had come into existence long after those bones became dust, knew its lingering legacy.

"I fought at his side," Eli whispered. "I never thought of fighting against - maybe I didn't want it at first, but now, now the Underworld is mine. I'd never abandon it."

Slowly but surely, Eli's shoulders straightened. The cold determination in her eyes reminded Nozomi of when they'd first met. Pronouncing every syllable with deliberate care, Eli declared, "If he wants a fight, that's what he'll have."

"But Persephone can't - "

"I'm staying," Nozomi said over the blood roaring in her ears. It was a step up from just signing an oath like she'd planned to, true, but there was no question. Not if giving in meant never seeing Eli again; not if it meant leaving Eli to her solitude again. "I'll fight him too, if that's what it'll take. My place is here."

She squeezed Eli's hand and met her uncertain gaze without flinching. "If I ever leave, it'll be of my own free will. Not because of someone who thinks he can use me to blackmail the person I love."

The familiar fear flashed in Eli's eyes, the same as when they had fought Eurynomos. But this time, it faded away in a moment. "He won't know what hit him," Eli agreed with a wry smile.

Flushed with adrenaline (and with Eli's approval - they would stand side by side this time), Nozomi turned back to Kotori. "Tell him that, Hermes," she said. Her smile felt more like baring her teeth.

Kotori looked between them. Measuredly, she said, "And what will you do if you win? Even if you do, you can't stay. This is the Underworld. Only the dead and their gods live here."

At the two looks of blank incomprehension, Kotori chewed on her lip. The snakes bobbed uncertainly. "Persephone, how long have you been here?"

Days and nights passed oddly, light cycles turning only as fast as Hades willed. Nozomi counted back in sleeps, or periods of long awakeness. She ventured, "Four weeks?"

"Three months, by the mortal world's count," Hermes said gently. Eli sucked in a soft breath.

"That can't be right," Nozomi said, frowning. Gods didn't need to sleep, strictly speaking, unless they were truly exhausted. Nozomi had gotten into the habit of doing so anyway, thanks to the day-night cycle above ground. It was nice to just let time slip past sometimes. She'd kept up the habit while in the Underworld, and she certainly hadn't had ninety-something stretches of sleeping.

"No," Eli said, face wan. "I did think - but Alisa sleeps so much, and I rarely did before, so I thought that was just normal, how much you slept."

"But the light cycle - "

"I changed it for you." Part of Nozomi thrilled at those last two words, but it was buried under the growing dismay. Eli's hand went to her key, twisting in her chain as she said, "I just thought it would make you more comfortable. Time never really mattered here. I didn't know..."

"Are you tired?" pressed Kotori.

"Y-yes." It slipped out without Nozomi's realisation, and it tasted like the revelation of a lie. A confession - or an omitted truth.

"Only the dead and their gods live here," Kotori repeated. "Anyone else who stays too long slowly drains away, becomes a shadow of themselves. A shade. Even other gods can only be visitors."

It felt like they were standing on a narrow road, and Kotori had just pointed a bright light down, down, and suddenly Nozomi saw that they had been walking alongside a bottomless abyss all along, hidden by the shadows of the Underworld and the distractions of the everyday bright pleasures they'd been indulging in.

Nozomi knew Kotori wasn't being cruel for cruelty's sake. Not with the way Kotori was still touching Eli, offering support. Not when Kotori's eyes glimmered with early grief for them that Nozomi didn’t want to see.

Still, it hurt when Kotori said, "You were never meant to stay, Persephone."

Eli sat slumped against the base of the throne. Her head was in her hands, hair falling loose and limp around her face. She hadn't moved for half an hour by Nozomi's estimate - not that Nozomi trusted herself to know time anymore.

Nozomi sat just a few steps away on the dais, fiddling with the package in her hands. Kotori had given it to them just before she'd left.

"From a friend," Kotori had said. "Remember - you still have those in Olympus. Don't lose hope, Eli, Persephone."

She'd turned to leave, the wings on her sandals already stirring up tiny gusts.

"Wait."

The single syllable had dropped like a stone; both Kotori and Nozomi had stiffened and turned to the speaker. Hades had drawn herself up to her full height, locking gazes with Kotori, and Nozomi was only glad she wasn't the subject of that scrutiny.

"Hermes," said Hades. "You've seen the truth. If Olympus truly went to war, would you stand by me?"

Kotori's hands had clenched and unclenched around her caduceus, nearly shivering with nervous energy, but she'd held her head high as she answered, "I would never stand against you. Please, don't ask more of me yet, Hades. Not till there is no turning back." Then, softer, "I have people I'd lose, too."

And she was gone as soon as Eli sighed and dipped her head in acknowledgement.

Since then, neither Nozomi nor Eli had said a single word the long trip back to the palace.

Until now.

"Maybe," Eli murmured, and Nozomi's stomach dropped at her forlorn tone, "maybe I should just. Do as he says."

Hot bile roiled in Nozomi's stomach. Eli went on, grinding her palms into her eyes. "I can't say I'd win. And I don't want him to- to damn you as well. You deserve better than the dead, anyway. It might hurt for now, but if you could have a chance... I-I could live with that."

A laugh bitter as pomegranate skin, one Nozomi had never heard. Eli added, "I've spent forever alone. What's another eternity or two?"

Eli was such a fool.

Nozomi dropped the package without a second thought and stalked over to Eli. Eli didn't lift her head until Nozomi cupped Eli's face in her hands, carefully soft yet unyielding. Then, Eli's eyes widened as Nozomi leant their foreheads together.

"If you think I'll ever be happy again knowing I could have had you and I left you, you'd better think again, Hades," Nozomi said. Eli jerked at the use of her title; Nozomi tasted narcissi, felt a metallic chill in her veins at the invocation. Relentless, she went on.

"Zeus was targeting you, yes. But I said it before and I'll say it again: I won't be his leverage. This isn't just against you, it's against me, too. It's against us.

"Maybe you wouldn't win. But maybe we would. So Elichi, stop lying to yourself about how you feel." This with a gentle shake of Eli's head, Nozomi's fingers tangled in blonde hair like she'll never let go.

And with that, the tears finally welled over.

Eli clung to Nozomi like a lost child, and Nozomi clung back, feeling every hiccuped sob shudder against her breastbone. Felt more than heard, Eli cried until Nozomi thought her heart would simply give out. Her own cheeks were wet, but she barely noticed. All she could think of was burning into her mind the shape of Eli's thin shoulderblades against her hand, the curve of her palm against Eli's face. She would remember this always: would be able to summon Eli's shape with her own body, natural as breathing.

Eventually, the storm subsided. They sat quietly together for as long as they felt they were allowed to, and then a little longer. But time was slipping, slipping, slipping.

"I need to wake Alisa," Eli mumbled. She dried her eyes against her sleeve; Nozomi helped, dabbing at the tear tracks on Eli's cheeks. She wasn't convinced - that was easy to tell - but at least the determination had come back into the set of her shoulders. Eli had a goal. Now she could move. "I need to ask her what to do. Come with me?"

"Of course, Elichi."

Eli's teleportation took them to the mouth of a small cave with a passage that curled down and down. "My authority wanes beyond here," Eli said, summoning a blue flame with a click of her fingers. "Beings older than I make their home in the dark. Alisa is only one of them."

"They're friendly though," Nozomi said, hoping that was definitely the case.

Eli hummed. "Well, they won't hurt you. They just... are."

How comforting. Nozomi kept one hand in the crook of Eli's elbow as they descended. Narrow tunnels wove off the main passage, some ending barely steps in, others twisting out of sight. The hairs on the back of Nozomi's neck prickled.

It took them only a few minutes to reach the place where Alisa lay. For a moment, Nozomi almost took her for dead; she lay unmoving without so much as a breath. Her pale skin gave off an almost luminescent glow that lit the cavern like a guiding beacon in the night.

Eli settled onto her knees next to Alisa. "It'll take a while to wake her up when she's not the one deciding to," she said as the now-familiar aura of Eli's magic set the air alive. "She needs to come back and get used to having a body again."

"You've done this before?" Nozomi asked, watching Eli take Alisa's hand and shift her seat until she was comfortable. Eli gave a wry smile.

"This is... the third time, I think. Not many things are important enough to take Thanatos away from her duties." Eli hefted Alisa's limp hand, then seemed to come to a decision, and offered the hand to Nozomi. "Here - let's see if it'll work with you too."

Alisa's hand was cold as a corpse's, stripes of fading warmth where Eli's fingers had laid. "What do I do?"

"Look for her," Eli said simply.

Easier said than done, but if Eli thought Nozomi could, then so did Nozomi. She breathed in, let it out in a long exhale till her lungs were empty - and on her next breath, tried to imagine pulling Thanatos in.

Alisa's magic was poppies, thick and rich and sweet, and the remnants of smoke from an extinguished flame. Trying to gather it was like trying to slake your thirst by catching raindrops on your tongue. Still, it was there, gathering Alisa's consciousness drop by scattered drop.

The task was easy to lose oneself in. Shoulder to shoulder with Eli on the hard rock floor, Nozomi floated in the flow of magic. All the while, her mind turned their problem over and over again.

How to make it so Nozomi could stay? Pleasant as the waking times had been, she shivered to think of days passing her by in sleep. It wasn't fair to either of them that what little time they could share was halved and halved again. How to stand against the king of the gods? How to justify the losses that would undoubtedly come from such a fight, just for the love of two people?

If they only had time - time enough to smooth mountains and wear away the jagged edges of the problem to reveal an answer -

Nozomi blinked. "Did you say something, Elichi?"

Eli gave her a strange look. "No," she said. "I haven't made a sound. Neither has Alisa."

"I could have sworn..." There it was again. "Someone's calling me."

Eli's hand shot to her key, but a moment later, she relaxed and let out a low grumble. "It's probably the Moirai."

"The Fates?" A tiny flame of hope lit in Nozomi's chest. She said, "Do you think they'd help? Or at least give some advice?"

Eli, though, wasn't nearly as enthused. "They've only spoken to me twice, but neither time was particularly useful. Their riddles will drive you to distraction if you're not careful. They never make sense until after what's to happen has already happened, anyway."

Nozomi gently flicked Eli's forehead. "Don't be pessimistic. Anything's better than nothing."

Eli gave her an exaggerated wince, which was how Nozomi knew her attempt to lighten Eli's mood had worked. "Well," sighed Eli, "it won't hurt, I suppose. I'll stay with Alisa. Your torch will guide you home if she's awake before you're done. I'm sorry, but we can't wait."

"Alright," said Nozomi, and dropped a kiss on Eli's forehead before she went. She already couldn't bring herself to say goodbye.

The call led her feet meandering further down the dark path. Her torch threw strange shadows. Here, out of the corner of her eye, Nozomi thought she saw the silhouette of Eli's proud profile; there, a smudge shaped like a lightning bolt.

She bumped into them before she saw them.

Each one was more withered than the oldest oak tree Nozomi had seen. Their gnarled fingers tapped unceasingly on their instruments: a set of scales, an endlessly long writing scroll, a measuring rod. At Nozomi's appearance, they stilled for a second, then went on with their frantic movements.

"Excuse me," said Nozomi as politely as she could.

"She's here." "Here! Here!" They spoke over each other without a care, digging elbows into ribs and jostling each other. Three pairs of eerily pale eyes rolled at Nozomi.

Nozomi tried for a smile. Be kind, be kind, do not anger the ancient ones. "Do you have something to tell me?"

"I wonder," said one.

"I wonder," said another.

And the last: "Do you know what I wonder?"

Ah. Now Nozomi saw why Eli disliked them. "No," she told them.

"I wonder," they said in unison, "if she knows who she is."

"...who do you think I am?"

Three grins, wider than what any face should be capable of. "Life is becoming," said one conspiratorially.

"Death is became," said another. She jabbed her measuring rod at Nozomi; Nozomi fought back the urge to flinch.

"Fate ends here."

"Look back, and everything is clear."

They leaned in. Magic tasteless as water loomed around Nozomi like as they chorused, "Except you."

"Persephone falls- "

"Katabasis."

"- Persephone rises."

"Anabasis!"

Nozomi's mouth was dry. "Are you telling me I have to- "

Like angry cats, all three shushed her with hisses. "We tell you nothing!" they snapped through gnashing teeth.

Nozomi took a step back and held her hands up placatingly. The Fates eyed her, as suspicious and alarmed as if they thought Nozomi were about to break out into defiant song.

Finally, they spoke again. "On your terms. Whoever you are. Details, details."

"One is never the same after death."

"Now death will never be the same after you."

Nozomi waited a moment more, but the trio seemed to have completely lost interest in her. She cleared her throat. No response.

She didn't dare ask for explanation. "I'm leaving," Nozomi informed them instead. "Thank you."

"Go, go," they muttered distractedly. "She'll leave. She'll return. Places to do, things to be."

As Nozomi backed away, she had no idea why she'd thought she'd heard her name. Part of her began to doubt whether the Fates had actually spoken to her. After all, they only mumbled the same phrase, over and over again: "I wonder. I wonder... Do you know what I wonder? I wonder, I wonder."

Alisa's cave was conspicuously empty. Nozomi broke into a half-trot on her way back to the entrance of the passage, where - thankfully - one of Eli's doorways was waiting to take her to the palace.

Instead of the throne room she'd been expecting, Nozomi emerged into the familiar sight of Eli's favored bedroom. There was a lump on the bed. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be Alisa - fast asleep once again.

Nozomi plucked the roll of parchment off its precarious perch on Alisa's cheek. Eli's loopy script was scrawled across it.

Please do not wake! (Unless the Moirai told you something that concerns her.) Thanatos is trying to gauge allies among the demigods in the mortal realm. Call me so I can take you to the treasury.

Alisa let out a soft snore. Nozomi muffled a giggle into her hand. She debated putting the parchment right back where she found it, but decided against it in the end. Instead, she tucked the blankets a little tighter around Alisa's chin before she whispered, "Hades."

A moment. Then the air set alight with thin lines of blue fire, sketching the doorway, and Nozomi stepped through.

It was suddenly very bright. Nozomi winced and shielded her eyes against the unnatural glare; it took a moment for them to adjust, but once they did, Nozomi peered around her with wonder.

Chest-high piles of golden coins. Swords, axes, spears, gilded bows. Bracelets of ruby and sapphire that winked strangely, glyphs carved into the jewels. And crouched on the floor, one very annoyed god of the Underworld tugging at the package Kotori had delivered.

"Um," said Nozomi.

Eli grunted. "Give - me - a second - ugh!" She lost her grip and toppled backwards. The package dropped to the floor with a hollow thud.

Nozomi dropped to her haunches beside Eli, who sat up with many grimaces. "That looked like it hurt," said Nozomi sympathetically, eying the pieces of precious metals scattered on the floor.

"Tell me about it." Eli rubbed her behind and shot a glare at the package.

"I can kiss it better?" Nozomi offered. Eli's face went red.

"Nozomi!"

"Right, right, business first." Nozomi picked the package up. It was the size of a vase and wrapped in pink cloth. The loops of its red ribbon bow were as big as Nozomi's head, and gleefully refused to be undone. "Any idea who sent this?"

"I have some guesses, but there's no note attached." Eli sighed and stood as Nozomi began to fiddle with the knot. "With some luck, it'll be a magic artifact, or a weapon or some sort - anything to turn the tide if we do go to war. I brought it here while I was sorting through the rest of my treasury."

Nozomi blinked at the piles of riches scattered around. She said, "I didn't realise you needed material wealth. Where does it all come from?"

"I don't need it, it just comes with the dead." Eli rooted through another pile, inspected a sword briefly, then tossed it aside. "The things buried with heroes - lifelong favourite weapons, magical gifts from other gods. I get a copy of them if they had enough life or magic."

"And you got distracted by opening the package?" Nozomi said mildly.

Eli, adorably, blushed. "You know how it is when you're cleaning up."

Nozomi thought back to the trinkets and plants she kept in her rooms back on the surface, and had to admit yes, yes she did know.

"Find anything useful before you got distracted, then?"

Ah, that telltale brow-furrow of frustration. "No," Eli sighed. "Most of it wouldn't even leave a scratch on a god in full fighting form. If Alisa doesn't come up with something..."

"Elichi," Nozomi soothed, reaching up from her seat to take Eli's hand. Eli looked down at her: now that she wasn't moving, Nozomi could see the anxiety rising up again, the tense edge to Eli's muscles.

"What if I - what if we've picked a fight impossible to win?"

Simply saying "we'll be alright" wouldn't work. It was too hollow, too untrue; neither of them could accept it. So Nozomi only said, "We haven't exhausted our options yet. Come on, Elichi, let's see if we can get this box open."

Obvious as the subject change was, Eli went with it. She settled neatly on the ground beside Nozomi, watching her pick at the knot.

"It's - really stuck." Nozomi tried wedging the package between her knees and heaving on the ribbon. All she accomplished was nearly punching herself in the face when the ribbon slipped out of her grasp.

At least it teased a smile out of Eli. "Here," Eli said, reaching out, "I'll hold and you pull, maybe that'll - "

The moment both their hands were touching the package, it burst open with a crack.

A shower of flowers burst into the air. Both Nozomi and Eli yelped, stumbling backwards. The package, seeming not to care that both had let go of it, hung in the air and continued to spew forth rose petals.

With a gust of wind from nowhere, the petals swirled into the rough shape of a short humanoid figure. The scent of roses and seafoam flooded the air: Nozomi knew this one from the stories Hanayo told, sensed it around the mortal lovers that wandered the woods together sometimes. Aphrodite, goddess of love.

The figure tapped its throat. Fluffed its pigtails just so. Then, in a high, triumphant voice, it announced, "I told you so, Eli!"

"Oh, gods above," said Eli, sounding like she'd rather be anywhere but here.

"Who," said Nozomi. "What?"

Without acknowledging either of their responses, the figure - Aphrodite's message - went on gleefully. "I told you that you'd find love! This was worth sitting through all your depressing mumbling about Underworld this and rules that. If I say you're in my domain, then you're damn well in my domain! And I didn't mean just the lust side, either, so you can't even use Kotori as an excuse anymore."

"What?" said Nozomi, looking at Eli, who was sitting on the floor with her head in her hands and who apparently had had a... dalliance with Kotori once upon a time.

"That was so long ago, Nico, please- "

"I didn't know it'd be Persephone of all people, but hey. Couldn't think of a better fit myself." The figure flashed a thumbs up, petals rippling. "Congratulations on not being single anymore, both of you! Oh, and on getting laid, of course. That seems to be going rather well."

Eli made a long noise of distress into her hands.

"Nico?" Nozomi said. "Aphrodite? You're friends?"

"Unfortunately," came the muffled answer. The figure started speaking again; it seemed to be some sort of predetermined message.

"Really, I'd throw you a party if I could," said Nico's apparition. Its tone had sobered. "But looks to me like you'll have bigger worries soon. Might not be much use, but I've got some advice for you two."'

At this, Eli's head shot up.

Quite plainly, the Nico-apparition said, "Trust each other. Your love's the real deal - take it from its goddess - which means it's more powerful, more important than you think. After all, this kind of thing doesn't happen between gods much. I can't say this has a happy ending for sure, but it's possible.

"You two are strong enough to make it work. But just if you need a little incentive!" The Nico-apparition gave an exaggerated wink before the serious face settled again.

"Persephone, Hades. No matter what happens, even if you do part, you'll see each other again. I can't say how long you'd have to wait, or if you'd get to stay together, but that's all I know. You're due for at least one more meeting yet."

Nozomi's stomach swooped; in which direction, she couldn’t tell. With that, the apparition waved and chirped with alarming cheer, "I'll see you another time, if all goes well. You need to see your friends more! Persephone, I'm counting on you to drag Eli out of her home every now and then. It can't be healthy being cooped up down there. Bye-bye!"

"Bye," said Nozomi reflexively, but she'd stopped paying attention at around the same time her insides started feeling too light for her body. "Elichi -"

She stopped. Eli was crying. "Nozomi," she said, a hiccup on the last syllable. "Nozomi."

No matter what happened, they would meet again. Eli hadn't even imagined that possibility: hadn't even dared to hope against hope. The revelation hit her all the harder for it.

"My crybaby," Nozomi said fondly, and held her arms out. When Eli went to her, pressing a long, teary kiss to Nozomi's smiling mouth, Nozomi knew then.

If they would meet again, Nozomi could endure anything.

One kiss turned into two, then three, driving thoughts of the future out of Nozomi's mind. What mattered was now: the slide of Eli's fingers against Nozomi's spine, the watery giggles that escaped between kisses.

"I love you," Eli said with a sniff. She sounded almost as awed as Nozomi was to hear it. "Do you know, I love you."

"I love you too," said Nozomi somehow through her cheek-aching smile, and was rewarded with a little laugh-gasp, like Eli could barely believe her. She leaned in for another kiss. Eli said her name like a prayer, and again when Nozomi smoothed back golden hair. And then she said something that turned Nozomi's world upside down.

"Marry me."

The air hung still between them. Nozomi felt the ridiculous urge to laugh, or maybe start crying harder than Eli had; the twist in her chest could go either way, really. This was too much, too fast - what was happening? She needed to answer Eli. Say something. Anything. "Excuse me?"

Eli was the palest Nozomi had ever seen her, even after tears left her with a red nose and cheeks. She repeated, with only the tiniest of stutters, "M-marry me? I'm - I wasn't going to ask, because I was afraid it would only hurt more, but - I'm sorry, it won't solve anything and it might just hurt you more if we have to par- "

"Don't you dare apologise," Nozomi said. Her voice was thick and cloggy. "Say - say it again."

And Eli clasped Nozomi's right hand in both of hers and sank to one knee with slow solemnity. She looked up, all earnestness and an undercurrent of adoration, threatening to drown Nozomi in her gaze. She said, "Will you share in my power, my troubles and my joys? Will you rule alongside me as my one and only queen? Persephone - Nozomi - will you marry me?"

"Yes, please," said Nozomi, and promptly burst into tears.

Weddings, it turned out, required lots of preparation, even if you were a goddess and had a total of one guest. Even if that one guest was ecstatic enough for ten.

“I can’t--believe--you’re really going--to--to--” Alisa gave an almighty sniff, then gave up altogether and made a wailing noise into Eli’s tunic. She hadn’t let go of Eli for the past ten minutes.

In hindsight, it probably wasn’t a good idea to haul Alisa out of her dream-sleep and announce their impending nuptials immediately. It also wasn’t a good idea to do so while both Eli and Nozomi were still crying, seeing as Alisa was a sympathy crier. Between the three of them, the Underworld might have a new river soon.

“You’re invited to the wedding, and also to helping us set it up,” Eli said weakly, patting Alisa’s head. She didn’t seem like she’d quite managed to come to terms with her soon-to-change marital status yet.

Not that Nozomi had either.

Alisa made another long noise that was mostly vowels. “Your wedding,” she bawled. “I’m organising your wedding. We need a witness--I can do that--we need sacrifices for Aphrodite--”

“I think we still have pomegranates,” Nozomi offered, hovering by the two Underworld gods. Alisa turned a tremulous look on her.

“You’re not even married yet and you’re already providing for Eli, I knew you’d be perfect,” she declared through hiccups.

And Eli was coming with a dowry of an entire realm. Pomegranates were the least Nozomi could do, in her humble opinion.

Meanwhile, Alisa went on with her mile-long list of preparations, no longer pausing for breath she didn’t need. “We can do the bath here--but Nozomi’s already living--might have to do without the--Nozomi!”

“Yes!” said Nozomi, snapping to attention.

Alisa pointed at the door. “Out! One day to reflect and prepare, no seeing each other. I’ll collect you when everything’s ready.”

“Is this really necessary?” asked Eli plaintively.

“No, but you’re only going to be wedded once, and I intend to see it done as well as possible,” Alisa told her primly. “Go on, go on!”

Being told to reflect was the easiest way to drive all thoughts out of Nozomi’s mind. She lay sprawled in the garden, staring up at the sliver of blue sky visible.

“I’m marrying Eli,” she said to herself, and was embarrassed by how easily her cheeks heated. “I’m marrying Hades.”

What would Hanayo say? Hanayo, her friend and confidante - and Demeter, her mentor and precursor. Hanayo would approve, Nozomi was sure, but as Kotori had told it, Demeter was grief-stricken by Hades’ ‘kidnapping’. And Demeter had never told Persephone tales about Hades.

Something to ask Eli about, then, if the two knew each other.

A small daydream came over Nozomi: bringing Eli to the surface, hand in hand; introducing her wife--her wife!--to Hanayo anew; showing Eli her stamping grounds…

When Nozomi sat up, she left behind a person-shaped sprawl of violets. She laughed at herself and began to pick them; she rather fancied seeing purple woven into Eli’s hair. Only if Alisa allowed the change, of course.

The day had gone by faster than Nozomi expected, lost in her reveries, and whatever calm she’d found fled her as Alisa hustled her into the baths. “When you’re ready, I’ll come fetch you,” Alisa had told her. Alisa should be prepared to wait a while, then.

Nozomi had washed and rinsed her hair three times, then scrubbed herself till her skin fairly squeaked, and she was contemplating whether she should cut her toenails as well as her fingernails when Alisa poked her head in.

“I know it’s a ceremonial bath to cleanse yourself and be a new person,” Alisa said, “but I only just managed to get Eli to come out of the tub after reassuring her seven times that you do love her, so it’s your turn.”

“Hm,” said Nozomi. “Do my toenails look long to you?”

“They look fine, now up you get.” Alisa held out a white shift and flapped it imperiously.

“You didn’t even look.” Maybe she should wash her hair again. It might have trailed on the clean stone ground when she got up for a new bar of soap.

“Persephone,” Alisa said, arching her eyebrows at Nozomi in a way that made the family resemblance clear as day.

Nozomi got out of the bath.

As Alisa helped Nozomi braid her hair, she scolded gently. “You both know how you feel about each other. She’s not going to run away. How did you declare war on Olympus without batting an eye?”

“I wasn’t thinking about trying to give Zeus all the love he deserves and realising that no one could give that much love,” said Nozomi.

“Let me change my question,” Alisa said. “How can you say something like that with a straight face and still be afraid of marrying her?”

Nozomi blew her breath out in one long stream. “Is this what the mortals call divine guidance?”

The braid was finished. Alisa moved round to Nozomi’s front, fussing with the strands of hair framing her face just so. “It’s what I call encouragement from a friend and sister,” she corrected.

The heat from the bath must be playing havoc with Nozomi’s complexion. She opened and closed her mouth, like a fish that wanted to escape back into the bath.

Instead, unyielding and inexorable, Alisa dressed her.

Over the plain white shift went bolt after bolt of violet fabric, delicate teardrop-like jewels, all the riches of the Underworld’s immense treasury brought forth for its new bride. New sandals with butter-soft leather, hairpins of hand-wrought glass and gold. Last, but placed with greatest care, was a veil so pure silver it could have been spun from moonlight, light as the last wisps of a dream.

“Thank you,” whispered Nozomi, studying herself in the mirror. Her reflection’s eyes caught Alisa’s, proud beyond words, and she could only hope Alisa understood. “Thank you.”

“Now you’re ready,” said Alisa with immense satisfaction. “Come and meet your wife, Persephone.”

Alisa led Nozomi by the hand, step by careful step. The cloth of her robes whispered against each other as they walked; Nozomi thought once of hushed spectators and proud onlookers--Hanayo--before brushing it aside. Less and less room for introspection now, when the Underworld opened in front of her, vision growing wider and wider.

The great doors to the palace were flung open. Under their arch waited a brazier filled with blue flames, burning on nothing but air. And on the other side of the brazier stood Eli.

Within the drapes of the veil, Nozomi could see little more than hazy shapes and colours. Just enough to see Eli was dressed much the same way as she was. A wink of violet flashed in her blonde hair when her head turned, and Nozomi offered up silent thanks to Alisa. She ached to pull the veil off (they had so little time, she just wanted to see her face) but, as if anticipating her anxiousness, Alisa moved to the brazier.

“Aphrodite,” she said without ceremony, as if calling an old friend, “we ask for your attention. In return, receive this gift from two in your domain.”

A bowl of pomegranates sat at the base of the brazier: perfect red, skins unblemished and gleaming like rubies. The last of the harvest from the tree in Eli’s glass garden.

In one smooth motion, Alisa lifted the bowl and tipped them into the fire. Nozomi squinted against the flare of light. One moment they rolled at the base of the flames; the next, they were gone, vanishing like tricks of the light.

The sweet scent of roses; the sound of the ocean roaring in Nozomi’s ears; the queer yet comforting sensation of an amused smile curling against her skin.

“Your veil, Persephone,” said Alisa, hand held out. Still dazed from the brush of god-magic, Nozomi obeyed without thinking--and suddenly found herself bared and defenseless under the gaze of two blue eyes.

Nozomi heard the soft thwump as the priceless fabric went up in flames. As if from far away, she heard Alisa say, “With the gods as witnesses, I see and acknowledge you wedded.”

But what did that matter when Eli was looking at her like that?

A small, tremulous smile hovered on Eli’s face; Nozomi understood too well that feeling of disbelieving elation. In that moment, she knew: she would give anything to bring that look back to Eli’s face again.

Eli, her Eli, came forwards. Nozomi clutched her outstretched arms like a lifeline and kissed her; there, the feeling of Eli’s lips smiling and smiling against hers, Eli’s hands framing her face, Eli’s hair falling around their faces. She needed nothing else.

With the proud, bashful look that sent Nozomi tumbling into memories of an unfinished wardrobe and an awkward god, Eli said, “Will you come see what I give to you?”

“I go where you go,” said Nozomi, breathless. Together, they stepped over the threshold into the palace.

It took a moment for Nozomi’s eyes to adjust. Phantom lights still danced at the edges of her vision where they had been seared by the brazier’s light and by Eli’s.

In the long, dark stretch of Hades’ throne room, colour bloomed.

Next to the black throne that had stood alone time immemorial, the dais had cracked; from rich brown dirt grew a second throne, lush green vines and soft bark twining into a seat and arms, arching up into a rounded trellis of a back. And on every edge, the crowning glory - narcissi and pomegranate flowers, full-bodied and bright, their simple beauty forever caught in the moment of rioting into life. They crept onto Hades’ throne, too, dashes of life on cold black stone.

Eli shifted beside her, not quite scuffling her feet. “Alisa said the mortals brought each other into their houses, but you already belong in my home, so I… I thought, it was time to make a place, just for you.”

“Eli,” Nozomi breathed. Her eyes stung with an ache that gripped her very heart.

“I didn’t actually know I could make it,” Eli said. She held Nozomi’s hand just a little too tightly. “I think the palace’s been stealing a little magic from you - I just gave it a little nudge, and I hope it turned out well, so - “

“It’s for me?” Her tongue was thick in her mouth, and in the whirl of emotions, words were slow to come, but Nozomi had to say it.

Eli’s voice cracked a little, and she wasn’t talking about the throne when she agreed, “It’s yours. If you want it. It’s ours, if you’ll have it.“

As if she wouldn’t. Nozomi hiccuped a small laugh. She stepped forward, and Eli kept pace, until they stood on the dais and Nozomi could trace the flowers with a trembling finger.

“It’s us,” Nozomi said, looking at the intertwined flowers. “Together. Elichi, how indecent,” she said, and then the tears wouldn’t be held back anymore and Eli muffled a watery giggle into Nozomi’s hair when she buried her head under Eli’s chin and clutched at Eli’s back for some kind of reality.

Eli pressed kisses into the plaits of Nozomi’s hair until Nozomi gained her composure. Drying her eyes on her sleeve, Nozomi murmured, “Will you sit with me?”

Standing tall by the new throne, Eli inclined her head. “After you, my queen.”

Nozomi sat. Her hands traced the arms of the throne, marveling at the detailing. Eli’s robes swished against the stone floor as she settled into her own throne, the armrests close enough for their hands to brush.

It was more comfortable than any throne had any right to be. Unbidden, a long sigh drew out of Nozomi. She looked up and across the long hall that had long been Hades’ sole dominion, out the open doors, over the vast stretch of the Underworld.

Farther, and farther still, reaching to the dark corners and the impenetrable ceilings, the throne cold under her fingers, or was it her fingers that were hot as a forge, because Persephone sat on her throne and felt the deepest magic moving through her and remaking her and perfecting her, the Underworld opening itself to her consciousness, coming into focus as reality never had before, not only that, not only the land but more--

Hades’ voice in the background, calling her name, but she had all the time in the world to answer now because she had the right to--to--

“-zomi? Nozomi?”

“I'm fine,” Nozomi said. Fine? That sounded hollow. She was better than fine. She was whole, perfect, perfected. “I'm fine, don't worry.”

This, she couldn't explain in words. But Eli looked at her queerly, and seemed to recognise some look in the set of Nozomi’s face - something, maybe, that Eli had felt herself when she first took hold of the Key.

Because when Hades descended, she was alone and afraid, and the dark pressed so hard she didn’t think she could press back, until she dug deep and clutched the Key and proclaimed who she was, she was the Queen of the Underworld and as Hades spoke so it shall be and as Persephone speaks so it would be-

Hades reared back like a spooked stallion. “What,” she whispered. “Persephone? Are you…?”

“Hades,” said Persephone, feeling their heartbeats in the very depths of the earth. “You asked me to share in your power, your troubles, your joys.”

“And to rule alongside me as my one and only queen,” Hades breathed. Her eyes were round with awe.

That was only to be expected. It wasn’t every day that a god bound themselves to a new domain.

The Underworld was laid bare to Nozomi now: its past, its present, glimpses of its future; all the citizens, cruel and kind, the strong wills like specks of light in the darkness; and Hades, tangled inextricably with it. As Persephone was now, too.

This time, Nozomi felt the stretch of space when Thanatos rushed to their side. “What have you done?” Alisa asked, more than a little fear in her voice.

That was alright. It had been so long since the Underworld had seen change; it would take all of them time to get used to.

Time they now had, since… “I suppose Zeus can’t take me away now,” said Nozomi with a grin.

“No more than he could take me away,” Eli agreed. They beamed at each other like happy fools until Alisa started to smile too, understanding what had happened at last.

They weren’t sure who started laughing first. But once they started, there was no stopping, not after the great threat was lifted: three giddy gods of the Underworld were right where they belonged.

This time, when Nozomi strode through the Fields of Asphodel, she did so with purpose. A queen had no need to explore her own lands. She followed the tiny spark of will with single-minded determination, and the shades parted for her.

Nozomi found the teenage girl crouched by herself besides one of Eli’s huts. The shadow of the wall fell across her, cutting her wavering shade torso into grey and darker grey.

Nozomi crouched to the shade’s level and waited.

Time passed. Slow as dripping tar, the girl lifted her face up to look at Nozomi.

“Would you like to try living again?” Nozomi asked gently.

The shade’s face didn’t change. She watched Nozomi in silence. But Nozomi was queen now, and she knew better how to look and how to judge, and she knew she’d judged correctly here.

So when Nozomi stood, brushed off her knees, and set off for the next shade, the girl followed.

They trailed behind her like the longest shadow - old women, young men, children and warriors and bards and bakers. Some didn’t come with Nozomi when she asked; others wavered, and broke off the end of the line.

Still, when Nozomi led them to the banks of the River Lethe, there were enough that they stretched out of sight into the mist.

“Drink,” Nozomi told them. “It won’t hurt - you’ll only forget, I promise. I am the god of rebirth, and I will bring you your second chance. And a third, and a fourth. As many new starts as you want.”

They bent like blades of wheat in the wind, dipping ethereal hands into dark water, lifting mere drops to their mouths. But they drank, and sighed, and the sighs turned into a thousand rushing whispers that clustered around Nozomi until she stood alone on the shore. She lifted a hand and felt the dandelion-seed brush of souls.

“Not long now,” she said to the air around her. “Not long now.”

All three of Cerberus’s heads shot up and pointed straight across the River Styx. Nozomi chuckled and tapped his flank to get one head’s attention. “My pats aren’t good enough, hm?”

The head whined, and a second head came around to help reassure Nozomi that her pats were very much appreciated, it’s just, there’s something coming!

“We know. Don’t worry, boy,” Eli said fondly, scratching his barrel of a chest. With a grumbly noise - he was just checking - Cerberus settled back down, though all ears still pricked towards Hermes’ approach.

“I’ll see you soon, alright? Be a good boy while I’m gone.” Nozomi dropped a kiss on each puppy nose before she stood.

Eli moved to sketch the portal that would take them to meet Hermes, but Nozomi stopped her. “Allow me,” she said, flexing her fingers. With an indulgent smile, Eli gestured for her to go ahead.

Nozomi touched the ground with the tip of one finger. From it sprang a slender birch sapling, roots rippling across the stone to form a threshold, arching up into a second sapling that formed an archway through which they could see Hermes gaping.

If Nozomi had to liken it to a physical sensation, it would be like stretching long-unused muscles, or ones she’d never known she had. She delighted in every chance to exercise her newfound powers. And, well, the Underworld could always do with more greenery in her opinion.

“Excellent portal, Your Majesty,” Eli said with a deep bow, grinning.

“Why, thank you, Your Majesty,” Nozomi returned. “After you.”

“Oh, no, no, after you.”

“I insist.”

“Well,” conceded Eli with magnanimity, “together?”

“Compromise is the basis of a good relationship,” Nozomi agreed, and linked arms with Eli as they stately proceeded through the portal.

They were barely through when Kotori launched herself at Eli with a delighted cry. Still linked, Nozomi stumbled round with them, and somehow Kotori’s arm found its way around Nozomi’s neck too.

“You did it!” Kotori crowed, hugging them tightly enough to lift herself off the ground. “You actually did it! I didn’t think - oh!” She clapped her hand to her mouth.

Nozomi laughed. “Neither did we, don’t worry, H- Kotori.”

The smile Kotori gave Nozomi could have lit the whole palace. “I’m so glad everything worked out for you two,” she said.

Suddenly overcome with a rush of affection, Nozomi hugged Kotori back tightly. “I wish you could have been at our wedding,” she said on impulse.

“I wish I could have too!” Kotori’s eyes practically gleamed. “You’ll need to tell me all about it some time. Especially what you wore, I almost never see Eli out of her formal clothes.”

“Oh, you must have on a few occasions,” Nozomi said wickedly. Eli spluttered. Kotori’s jaw dropped before she mirrored Nozomi’s grin.

“Are you really going to conspire against me in my own home?” said Eli plaintively.

“It’s my home too,” countered Nozomi. Eli’s moue of mock defeat thrilled her in its agreement: yes, Nozomi belonged here.

“Oh,” said Kotori. She cleared her throat uncomfortably. “A-about that. Persephone.”

Nozomi patted Kotori’s shoulder. “It’s okay, I know I have to go back.”

“You do?” Kotori looked up.

“I still belong to the overworld,” Nozomi said. “But I belong here too. My domain is rebirth, and I must oversee both sides of the coin.” She let a sad smile cross her face. “And Hanayo needs my help, doesn’t she?”

“It’s… a bit of a mess right now,” Kotori agreed. “Demeter doesn’t have control over winter. We need you to put things right again.”

Nozomi nodded. “Yes,” she said quietly. “Now, and next year, and every year after that. Life and death have been separated for too long.” With a deep breath, Persephone straightened and said, “Tell Zeus this: every six months, the world will see winter, and I will return to the Underworld. Every six months, the world will see spring, too, and I will bring the dead up with me for their next chance. Will this be a problem?”

“Not even Zeus can tell a god how to run their domain,” Hermes said. Her voice was solemn, but her snakes were looping slowly over each other, reflecting their master’s contentment.

Nozomi considered this. “He’s mad, isn’t he?”

“Absolutely enraged,” Kotori confided with deep delight. “Most everyone is secretly relieved. No one wants to see another war of the gods.”

“I’m coming too,” said Eli with a devious smile. Her arm tightened around Nozomi’s. “I have a right to send off my wife, don’t I?”

“You’ll hear no objections from me,” said Kotori, thrilled with every new development. Nozomi could practically hear the gossip flying around Olympus already. “I’ll deliver the news and let you have some time alone in the overworld, yes?”

“Wait,” said Nozomi, and Kotori stopped with one foot poised, wings on her sandals flapping. “Will you tell Nico thank you from us?”

“I most certainly can,” answered Kotori, giving them one last smile. She lifted a hand in farewell - and was gone.

Hand in hand with Eli, at long last, Nozomi began the ascent to the overworld.

Cold.

Nozomi breathed in and felt the air sear through her lungs. She stared around her, seeing the Underworld in the cold burn like Eli’s flames, in the silence that blanketed the white world.

She’d forgotten how bright it was.

“It’s beautiful,” breathed Eli, taking in the sight. She reached out and tapped an icicle hanging from the mouth of the cave they found themselves emerging from.

“It is,” agreed Nozomi. In the Underworld, ice was dark and cold; but against the pale sky, the icicle was the perfect shade of blue as Eli’s eyes.

Wordless, they walked through the world, snow crunching under their feet. Eli went in sandals; Nozomi’s bare feet delighted in the yielding ground.

Even in the supposedly dead world, there was still life. The further into the woods and away from the Underworld entrance they walked, the more sounds began to come back. Evergreen trees that stood bent but unbroken under boughs of snow; little black-and-white birds that pried their meals out of pine cones; squirrels that chattered and dove for cover when grey hawks swept over them.

Eli drank in the sights like parched ground soaking up rain. Nozomi’s heart ached for her. She said lightly, “Let’s make winter dates one of the conditions Zeus has to accept.”

“Let’s,” Eli murmured absentmindedly, eyes tracking a rabbit bounding across the snow.

Nozomi took a deep breath, feeling for the flow of magic. Time to show Eli her home.

“Wake up,” she whispered.

With Eli watching eagerly for changes, Nozomi knelt, scooping away snow to put her hands on frozen dirt. “Wake up,” she repeated, and pushed.

“That’s all?” Eli said, trying not to sound disappointed as Nozomi stood without any noticeable change. Nozomi chuckled and kissed her impatient wife.

“Give it some time,” she said peaceably. “Let’s go find Hanayo. Keep your eyes open, Elichi.”

They walked: over plains, through forests, passing unseen through farmers’ fields. Wherever they went, the cold of winter melted in their trail, baring tiny green shoots of grass. It was the same magic as Nozomi had always used, but being applied to its true purpose, it worked with a flourish.

Fresh offshoots sprouted where Nozomi’s hand brushed against old, friendly tree trunks. The insects of the earth poked through the footprints she left, feeling out this new world. Persephone moved through the world, with the world, and it responded.

Eli gasped. “Nozomi!” she said urgently, tugging on their joined hands.

With a rumble of snow, a brown snout poked through a low overhang. The bear shouldered its way out of its den, blinking blearily; it eyed the gods with dull animal intelligence.

“Ah,” said Nozomi, spreading her hands non-threateningly. “Good morning! Was it a good sleep?”

With a mighty shake, the bear sloughed off the last of its winter drowsiness and lumbered off, seemingly no worse for wear. Eli watched it go, entranced.

“Maybe next time I can convince it to stay and let you pet it,” Nozomi teased. “Or maybe not. I might be replaced by the bear in your affections.”

In dignified response, Eli scooped up some rapidly-melting snow and flung it at Nozomi. With equal dignity, Nozomi scuffed the ground; snow went flying in Eli’s direction when a bush burst out of the ground.

“You forget, Elichi, you are in my domain now,” Nozomi said with a sinister cackle.

“Come,” Eli challenged, fistfuls of snow at the ready. “You’ll find me a stronger opponent than you think, Nozomi!”

By the time they stopped, Nozomi felt like a newborn goddess again, pink with exertion and deliciously worn out. Eli looked much the same, sprawled out next to her, hair the most awry Nozomi had ever seen it.

With a groan, Nozomi rolled over and started combing it back into decency. “I suppose we can call that a draw,” she said with great grace.

“If that will satisfy your pride,” Eli retorted. She tilted back into Nozomi’s touch like a great cat.

Which was quite the position for Hanayo to find them in.

“Nozomi!”

Nozomi bolted upright. There was Hanayo, coming towards them at a speed greater than any Nozomi had seen yet.

“Oh no,” said Eli, sounding very scared. “Demeter, I- “

And then Hanayo was there, and she was hugging Nozomi so hard that Nozomi swore she heard her ribs creak, and she was crying. Where her tears landed, the newborn grass suddenly shot up as fast as teenage mortals.

“Nozomi!” Hanayo sobbed. “I was - s-so worried…you were just g-gone and I, I tried to, but Zeus said -”

“Hey, hey,” Nozomi said soothingly, ignoring the prickling in her own eyes. “It’s alright, I’m alright. Elichi took care of me, see?”

“Elichi?” repeated Hanayo.

Eli laughed nervously. “It’s… been a while, hasn’t it, Demeter?”

Hanayo’s face screwed up. Eli flinched. Then Hanayo let out another sob and dove at Eli.

“D-d-don’t Demeter me!” she wailed into Eli’s shoulder.

Nozomi could have pinpointed the moment when Eli slumped in relief. “Hanayo,” Eli murmured, hugging back at last. “It’s been a while.”

With a great sniff, Hanayo mustered a little composure and said, “Too long, Eli. I heard the truth from Kotori, just a little while ago… I-I’m sorry. I doubted you. I shouldn’t have…”

Eli’s eyes softened. “You were worried for Nozomi,” she said. “I understand. I probably would have done the same myself if I were you.”

Teary though it was, Hanayo’s shy smile was what finally convinced Nozomi it would be alright. “Well, that’s all in the past,” she said cheerfully, squeezing Hanayo’s hand. “We can have a good long talk at last; Kotori probably didn’t have much time to explain, did she? And there’s things I want to tell you all about too.”

“Of course! Will you stay, Eli?” Hanayo said hopefully.

Ah. This was the part Nozomi had been avoiding thinking about.

“I can’t,” Eli said; it was clear from both her tone and the way her gaze still darted around the world that she would have stayed as long as she could if given a chance. “The longer I’m here, the more chance Zeus will have to accuse me of treason or something equally ridiculous.”

“Oh,” Hanayo mumbled, disappointed. She glanced longingly at Eli, but said to Nozomi, “This is your last chance to talk for a while, right? I’ll leave you two be.”

Before either could protest, she slipped away, melting into the foliage like a shadow. Nozomi felt a twinge of guilt - surely Hanayo and Eli had so much to catch up on too - but she was thankful all the same.

Blessed Eli, as if reading her thoughts, said softly, “It’s alright. We’ll have more chances to talk; I’m sure Kotori can run a few messages.”

“Mmh...I think I’m just a selfish person, Elichi.”

“That’s fine and I love you all the same,” Eli insisted. She emphasised her point with a kiss. “I think after all that’s happened, we deserve a little selfishness.”

Despite the lump in her throat, Nozomi smiled. Her sweet Eli. “I’ll always come back to you,” she promised.

“And I’ll always wait for you.” They stood nose to nose a little while longer, enjoying each other’s warmth in the thawing spring. At the last, it was dutiful Eli who pulled away.

“Till winter,” she said, smiling sadly.

Nozomi only nodded, throat tight. She wouldn’t say goodbye. Not as long as she knew they would meet again.

Still, as the ground rumbled and cracked, as Eli began to sink into the earth, Nozomi called out: “Elichi!”

Eli turned back. Her mouth opened in a perfect ‘o’, and Nozomi knew they both saw the same thing: the thousands of souls, tiny sparks of life, drifting away from Persephone to be carried into new lives. One last memory of light for Hades to carry into the Underworld.

“So,” Hanayo said, handing Nozomi a half of a pomegranate. “Eat up, eat up, you must be hungry after so long in the Underworld! Will you tell me everything?”

The small seeds glittered up at Nozomi. She inhaled its scent deeply, and thought over all that had come to pass.

“Well, it started when I fell…”

"Now the wind scatters the old leaves across the earth, now the living timber bursts with the new buds and spring comes round again." - Homer, The Iliad

#nozoeli #toujou nozomi #ayase eli #ll greek gods au #love live fic #velter actually writes fic #im free??? im free???!!!!!#katabasis

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dawnasiler · 4 years

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Best of 2019: The 49 Beauty Products That I Loved Most This Year (Makeup, Haircare and More)

Now that you're up to speed on my favourite facial skincare of 2019, it's time to share the rest—all the makeup, haircare, hair tools and bath and body products that I used and loved this year.

The Best Beauty Products of 2019

Best Primer

REN Perfect Canvas Clean Primer

I don't use primer that often, but when I do, I reach for REN Perfect Canvas Clean Primer. I love that it's silicone-free, feels fresh on your skin and helps to mattify the T-zone a little bit. The ILIA True Skin Radiant Priming Serum is also great, but perhaps a tad more prone to pilling.

Best Sheer Foundation (Liquid)

Sappho New Paradigm Essential Foundation

I've never found a liquid foundation that I like better than Sappho New Paradigm Essential Foundation. (I wear the shade Leisha.) I hate the feel of most foundations on my skin, but not this one. It's super light, with sheer coverage that's buildable to a medium. I'm obsessed with the clean ingredients, fresh scent, and how it's virtually undetectable on your skin. You need to try it!

Best Sheer Foundation (Cream)

RMS Beauty "Un" Cover-Up

On a day-to-day basis, I almost always wear RMS Beauty "Un" Cover-Up in shade 00. It's a hybrid concealer and sheer foundation, and I just find it easy and quick to use—and so natural-looking on my skin. (See my application tips here!) I love that it's made with all-natural oils, which have never once broken me out.

Best High-Coverage Foundation

RMS Beauty "Un" Cover-Up Cream Foundation

I'm not a full-coverage or even medium-coverage foundation person, but I've been testing out the new RMS Beauty "Un" Cover-Up Cream Foundation. If you like a really perfected skin look, this dense cream does the job without looking mask-like on the skin. I just find it leans a little more yellow than the original "Un" Cover-Up.

Best Tinted Moisturizer

Omorovicza Complexion Perfector

Even though I only wear it in the summer, since the shades run a bit dark for me, the Omorovicza Complexion Perfector is probably the best tinted moisturizer formula I've tried to date. It's silicone-free, lightweight, and gives good light coverage (more than the bareMinerals Complexion Rescue, my other favourite).

Best BB/CC Cream

Sappho New Paradigm CC Cream

Just like the brand's Foundation, Sappho New Paradigm CC Cream feels light and fresh on your skin. I think this one is best for oilier types, as it has more of a semi-matte finish. Despite the mousse-like texture, I'd describe the coverage level as light. The Juice Beauty Stem Cellular CC Cream, which I also wore quite a bit, is much more sheer and dewy.

Best Foundation Brush

RMS Beauty Skin2Skin Foundation Brush

The right foundation brush can make the difference between a streaky application and a flawless one. The best I've found is RMS Beauty Skin2Skin Foundation Brush, which I usually use with "Un" Cover-Up, but also works with liquid formulas. Something about the bristles buffs the product into your skin so it looks super natural!

Best Concealer

W3ll People Bio Correct Multi-Action Concealer

I've long been searching for a high-coverage, opaque concealer like Make Up For Ever Full Cover Concealer, but with more natural ingredients. I finally found it in W3ll People Bio Correct Multi-Action Concealer (and not a moment too soon, because Make Up For Ever just discontinued my shade!). The only problem is it does tend to separate and go watery after a few months, so I'll have to keep buying replacements. For that reason, Make Up For Ever, along with Sappho New Paradigm, Glossier and Surratt Beauty were also in my concealer rotation this year.

Best Concealer Brush

Kevyn Aucoin The Concealer Brush

The secret to concealing spots and blemishes is a tiny brush—that way, your concealer is only going on the discolouration, not the surrounding skin. I swear by Kevyn Aucoin The Concealer Brush.

Best Powder

ILIA Soft Focus Finishing Powder

To set my makeup and tame any excess shine (especially when I use "Un" Cover-Up), I love ILIA Soft Focus Finishing Powder. This is a cornstarch-based translucent powder that does a great job of mattifying, but doesn't leave your skin dried out or weirdly slippery, like pure silica powders can. It's also silicone-free and talc-free.

Best Cream Blush

Lilah B. Divine Duo Lip & Cheek

After trying and loving their Lip Balms, I bought a few shades of Lilah B. Divine Duo Lip & Cheek this year, and they're equally good. Although the ingredients are not as natural as the RMS Beauty Lip2Cheek collection (which I also wore a lot), the colours, texture and finish are beautiful. I also still use the Olio E Osso Balms (reviewed here).

Best Powder Blush

RMS Beauty Pressed Blush

It had been a while since I was wowed by a powder blush, until Rose-Marie Swift herself painted my face with RMS Beauty Pressed Blush back in the spring. I never would have chosen the shade Mooncry for my fair skin, but it creates a gorgeous realistic flush that will work on any skin tone (just vary the intensity of your application).

Best Bronzer

RMS Beauty Buriti Bronzer

For bronzer, I find creams look a lot more natural than powders, so I like RMS Beauty Buriti Bronzer for a sun-kissed glow. I also use RMS Beauty Contour Bronze, which is a little deeper and more brown-toned. With both, I just brush them across my nose and cheeks—I never contour!

Best Blush Brush

RMS Beauty Skin2Skin Blush Brush

I used to apply cream blushes and bronzers with my fingers, but the RMS Beauty Skin2Skin Blush Brush has made such a difference. You get a much more light and even diffusion of colour.

Best Luminizer

RMS Beauty Living Luminizer

For me, the OG luminizer, RMS Beauty Living Luminizer, is still the best for my skin tone. (And when I met Rose-Marie, she confirmed that it's my perfect shade.) This stuff always gives my skin a healthy sheen that doesn't look like makeup.

Best Freckle Pen

Freck OG The Original Freckle

I first heard about Freck OG The Original Freckle when the product was still in development, and have wanted one ever since! I finally got my hands on a tube in 2019, and I have to say, it really is the best for creating faux freckles. The only catch is that you need to take your time with it. When I'm in a rush and I still want that cute sun-kissed look, I use Stila All Day Waterproof Brow Color in the shade Light.

Best Eyeshadow

Kosas 10-Second Liquid Eyeshadow

The shade range needs expanding, but I was really impressed with Kosas 10-Second Liquid Eyeshadow this year. Even though it's a clean formula, it doesn't crease or slide around, and you can easily blend it with your fingers. I just think they need more neutrals, because I only like the shades Globe (champagne) and Astronaut (silver), and the latter is only available in the Mixed Metals Trio. In addition to this brand, I also wore a lot of RMS Beauty Eye Polish (evidently I've been more into cream eyeshadows than powders).

Best Eyeliner

Stila Smudge Stick Waterproof Eye Liner

In 2019, I started feeling like all my eyeliners were looking too dark and harsh—even the browns. But it's not so easy finding lighter shades! Fortunately, a random Internet comment led me to Stila Smudge Stick Waterproof Eye Liner in Lionfish. It's a metallic bronze, and a great choice for people with light skin, eyes and hair.

Lash Serum

neuLASH Lash Enhancing Serum

After finishing my last bottle of Latisse, I switched to neuLASH Lash Enhancing Serum this year. I don't think the results are as dramatic, but I think it does the job just fine!

Best Eyelash Curler

Kevyn Aucoin The Eyelash Curler

I switched from Shu Uemura to the Kevyn Aucoin The Eyelash Curler, and it seems to fit my eyes better. It always captures all my lashes, never pulls or pinches, and the curl has a nice, gentle curve and is long-lasting.

Best Mascara

Kevyn Aucoin The Volume Mascara

I hate looking in the mirror mid-day and seeing mascara smudged under my eyes, so now I only use tubing formulas that won't budge. Kevyn Aucoin The Volume Mascara is the ultimate—a shiny, jet-black formula that volumizes and lengthens without clumping, and stays put until you want to remove it (with just warm water).

Best Brow Mascara

Glossier Boy Brow

I don't know if I've found the perfect brow mascara yet, but the one I used the most in 2019 was Glossier Boy Brow in Blond. I like the colour, which has the right amount of ashiness; I just wish it had more hold. Truthfully, I want to go back to Maybelline Brow Drama, but I can never find it here in Canada in Blonde (even though it's still on the brand website).

Best Tinted Lip Balm

Lanolips Rose Gold 101 Ointment

I have a million tinted lip balms, so it's hard to pick a favourite, but I probably wore Lanolips Rose Gold 101 Ointment the most. You get all the healing benefits of lanolin with a flattering, warm pinky-red tint. But there are so many others I love, too: Kosas, Lilah B., Henné Organics (reviewed here), Dior, French Girl (reviewed here), Cocokind, Tata Harper (reviewed here), Olio E Osso (reviewed here) and COOLA (reviewed here).

Best Colour-Adjusting Lip Balm

Buxom Powerplump Lip Balm

The new Buxom Powerplump Lip Balm is the best colour-adjusting lip product I've tried (and I've tried a few—remember when they used to be a big thing?). Because it's in a balm, it doesn't dry your lips out like its predecessors. On my lips, it turns into a pretty sheer rose shade, which suits me perfectly because I don't like to look too lipsticky. When I want a brighter pink, another good one is the Winky Lux Flower Balm.

Best Lipstick

Kosas Weightless Lip Color Lipstick

Just like I stopped wearing dark eyeliner, I'm also in a no-lipstick phase lately. Most of them just feel like too much—except for Kosas Weightless Lip Color Lipstick. The three lightest shades are the closest thing to "your lips, only better." My favourite is Stardust!

Best Lip Liner

RMS Beauty Lip Liner

I rarely wear lip liner because I prefer my lip colour to look dabbed on, not so precise. But sometimes I like to build up my thinner top lip a bit with RMS Beauty Lip Liner in the shade Nighttime Nude (reviewed here). It's the perfect match for my lip tone, and it has a lot of "grip."

Best Shampoo

Briogeo Blossom & Bloom Ginseng + Biotin Volumizing Shampoo

I wash my hair daily, and Briogeo Blossom & Bloom Ginseng + Biotin Volumizing Shampoo was my shampoo of choice in 2019. It's clear (not creamy), so it doesn't weigh my fine hair down, and it's sulfate-free.

Best Conditioner

Briogeo Blossom & Bloom Ginseng + Biotin Volumizing Conditioner

I also used the matching Briogeo Blossom & Bloom Ginseng + Biotin Volumizing Conditioner, which is silicone-free. It's fairly light, so I think it's best for fine hair that doesn't need a lot of detangling.

Best Comb

Mason Pearson Rake Comb

Out of the shower, I comb out my hair using the Mason Pearson Rake Comb. Supposedly, this is for "very thick, curly or tightly permed hair," and mine is none of those things. But I like it because it's so gentle on wet hair.

Best Brush

Mason Pearson Junior Mixture Nylon & Boar Bristle Hair Brush

I'm still using my trusty Mason Pearson Junior Mixture Nylon & Boar Bristle Hair Brush (reviewed here) to brush my dry hair. I've had this brush for more than a decade, so that's how well it holds up!

Best Heat-Protecting Spray

Philip Kingsley Perfecting Primer

Usually, I let my hair air-dry, but when I do use a blowdryer, I protect my hair from the heat with the Philip Kingsley Perfecting Primer. It doesn't have the cleanest ingredients (I'm still on the hunt for a more natural version), but I like that it leaves my hair soft and full of body.

Best Volumizing Spray

Briogeo Blossom & Bloom Ginseng + Biotin Volumizing Spray

For a little lift at the roots, I've been using Briogeo Blossom & Bloom Ginseng + Biotin Volumizing Spray. I love the ingredients, and it doesn't feel like you've got product in your hair.

Best Hairdryer

T3 PROi Professional Hair Dryer

I'm pretty sure the T3 PROi Professional Hair Dryer is being discontinued soon, but it sure has served me well these last few years! I've always trusted this brand's hairdryers because they last forever and never damage your hair. This is the best dryer I've ever owned, so I can't wait to see what they replace it with!

Best Flat Iron

Drybar The Tress Press

Meanwhile, the best flat iron I've ever owned is Drybar The Tress Press. I use this daily to touch up my bangs and the ends of my hair, and it takes literally two minutes. It never creates dents and always glides smoothly through my hair.

Best Dry Shampoo

Briogeo Scalp Revival Charcoal + Biotin Dry Shampoo

After looking for a cleaner, non-aerosol alternative to Dove, I settled on Briogeo Scalp Revival Charcoal + Biotin Dry Shampoo this year. It's not perfect (the packaging sucks), but I feel like it's a lot better for my scalp and the environment!

Best Texturizing Spray

Playa Endless Summer Spray

For creating beachy texture, I bought Playa Endless Summer Spray, and I like it well enough. It's made with natural ingredients like sea salt and aloe vera, and isn't super moisturizing, which is a plus in my books. (I find some beach sprays weigh my hair down too much.)

Best Body Wash

REN Atlantic Kelp and Magnesium Anti-Fatigue Body Wash

REN Atlantic Kelp and Magnesium Anti-Fatigue Body Wash was my main shower gel this year, and I love the jelly texture and spa-like scent.

Best Body Scrub

Indie Lee Coconut Citrus Scrub

Every few days, I buff away dry skin in the shower with Indie Lee Coconut Citrus Scrub (reviewed here). Not only are the ingredients all-natural, but it's so moisturizing, you can get away without body lotion.

Best Acid Exfoliant for Body

Paula's Choice Clear Acne Body Spray

I invested in Paula's Choice Clear Acne Body Spray to prevent sweat-induced body breakouts in the summertime. The spray makes it easy to reach your back, and it has two percent salicylic acid in a fast-absorbing liquid (so you can get dressed right away).

Best Body Lotion

Odacité Perfect Nutrients Body Lotion

I'm the pickiest person when it comes to body moisturizers, because there's so much product being absorbed over a large surface area—so the ingredients need to be top-notch. Odacité Perfect Nutrients Body Lotion is basically perfect, because it's a blend of aloe vera, coconut oil, glycerin and jojoba oil. If you need more moisture, I'd layer a body oil on top.

Best Body Oil

Monoï Tiki Tahiti Huile Parfumée

When I want to transport myself to the tropics, I slather on some Monoï Tiki Tahiti Huile Parfumée, a fragrant monoï oil made the traditional way by steeping tiare flowers in coconut oil. Otherwise, I just use plain Kopari Coconut Melt.

Best Body Sunscreen

Love Sun Body Natural Mineral Sunscreen SPF 30 Fragrance-Free

The body sunscreen I was most impressed with this year was Love Sun Body Natural Mineral Sunscreen SPF 30 Fragrance-Free. It's waterproof, silicone-free and 100 percent natural, with 20.4 percent zinc oxide as the active ingredient. And unlike most mineral SPFs, it's not whitening at all (even on darker skin)! You could use it on your face as well, it's just a little on the dewy side.

Best Deodorant

Schmidt's Ylang-Ylang + Calendula Natural Deodorant

For deodorant, the formula (and scent) I like best is Schmidt's Ylang-Ylang + Calendula Natural Deodorant. Great ingredients and it works!

Best Fragrance

Lush Sikkim Girls

If you're a long-time reader, you might remember me gushing about Lush Sikkim Girls back in the day, when it first launched. I don't know why I ever stopped wearing it, but this year I went back to it and realized it's the closest thing I have to a signature scent. It's frangipani and other white florals, but mixed with incense and vanilla. Very feminine, natural and Bohemian. I adore it!

Best Nail Buffer

Revlon Crazy Shine Nail Buffer

If you don't have the time or inclination a manicure, Revlon Crazy Shine Nail Buffer is the best thing ever. It makes your nails so shiny, it looks like you're wearing clear nail polish!

Best Nail Polish

Nails Inc. NailKale Nail Illuminator

I love a sheer pearly nail polish, like Nails Inc. NailKale Nail Illuminator, which I wore all through 2019. Unfortunately, it now seems to be discontinued... hopefully they bring it back!

Best Hand Lotion

Lano Coconutter Hand Cream Intense

Just like lanolin has healed my chapped lips, it's also made a difference for my hands. I love all the Lano hand creams, especially Lano Coconutter Hand Cream Intense because it smells like coconut. And it doesn't leave you greasy!

Best Cuticle Cream/Foot Cream

Lansinoh Lanolin Cream

I also use Lansinoh Lanolin Cream, which is a 100 percent lanolin ointment, to moisturize dry cuticles and even feet. It also doubles as a lip balm. (If you want cuter packaging, get the Lanolips 101 Ointment!)

Best Foot Peel

Baby Foot Exfoliation Foot Peel

Every couple months or so, I do a deep exfoliation using Baby Foot Exfoliation Foot Peel (reviewed here). If you're prone to calluses and thickened skin on your heels, nothing is more effective at getting it off!

Shop Editor’s Picks

Have you tried any of these products? What were your favourite beauty products of 2019?

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Best of 2019: The 49 Beauty Products That I Loved Most This Year (Makeup, Haircare and More) syndicated from The Skincare Edit

#skincare #beauty #makeup

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sapphicluxanna · 5 years

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1-100 pls 🌹💕

BABE. oh my god. okay here we go, it’s gonna be long!!

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk I think?

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? I love winter and everything about it, I’d rather be cold than hot

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? post it notes, receipts, I’ve used flowers a few times, really anything that’s in reach

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? tea with a little bit of milk and honey, coffee depends on the day? typically with a lil bit of vanilla creamer. when I make my ‘fancy’ coffee at home with frothy milk on top I always top them off with a dusting of cinnamon

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? always

6: do you keep plants? ye! I have a succulent/cacti terrarium, some sunflowers, jasmine, african violets, tomato plants, hanging planters, and a few more I forget the names of!

7: do you name your plants? not the ones I have currently

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I love ink. I haven't been able to paint with ink in a while, but the movement of that and watercolor are just.. freeing? I dunno how to explain it. that and drawing using ink, every mark you make is permanent and I just kinda zone out when doing it

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? aight listen. my future s/o is gonna have to deal with this a lot. shower? singing. car ride? singing. cooking? singing. y'all aint getting a break even if I sound like a dying cat

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? primarily side and stomach!

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? I cant think of many at the moment but uhhhh. hmm. a few guys and I play a game together and I run the group (in rdr2), and we don't let people join it if their horse’s tail isn't braided so we’ll hunt them down and kill them instead

12: what’s your favorite planet? neptune looks beautiful

13: what’s something that made you smile today? the fact that you wanted to know more about me

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? lots and lots of plants, kinda modern, a few fish tanks, smells like lavender and coffee

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! mars has the biggest known volcano!

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? stupidly basic, but chicken parmesan

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I’ve always wanted to impulsively dye it some shade of blue just for a few weeks

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I got ridiculously drunk off tequila at a house party and was given my first mojito, thought he picked leaves off the tree out back and threw them in so I dug them out and threw them around the yard in disgust. I have a very vague memory of this but they always give me crap for it

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I have a couple! one is my bujo where I keep lists of things like self care ideas, favorite movies and books, quotes, friend stuff, etc. another I use to draw in and like to recreate van gogh sketches, others are private

20: what’s your favorite eye color? y'all ever really see brown eyes? oof

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I don't have this?

22: are you a morning person? I could be if I woke up next to the right person

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? netflix binging, reading, aquarium shopping, walks with my dog in the woods, making stupid pancakes, and league with a babe

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? it takes time for me to trust people, so probably all my life at some point with a girl. as for family? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? I’ve locked myself outta my place a few times and had to go through the window

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? several pairs of sandals and slides!

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? just regular mint?

28: sunrise or sunset? watching the sunset on a blanket in the grass with a girl I care about

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? her voice gets a lil louder and she talks fast when she's excited about something and its flipping adorable

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I love fluffy socks and patterned socks and ones with dinosaurs and stuff and I love socks so much, don't sleep in them though

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. we played a drinking game based off how we did in a split screen game, one drink for every kill, got v drunk that night

33: what’s your fave pastry? I love baclava but I’m horribly allergic to walnuts

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I still have it! my dad went down to south carolina a lot and I was, and still am, very much in love with alligators. I think I was six or something but he came home with this giant garbage bag and was moving it like there was an animal inside and when I opened it, it was a giant stuffed alligator. he's currently sitting on my bed, but seems a lot smaller now

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I really wanna get into using thicker paper for letters with pressed wax seals and pressed flowers

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? I don’t really focus on individual bands too much tbh, I bounce around a lot within genres. anything happy and country atm

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I’m tryna keep it cleaner, better habit to make myself get into

38: tell us about your pet peeves! people smoking around me (I don't care that you smoke whatever, I just ask you don't do it around me bc it makes me feel sick), a group of people that takes up the whole sidewalk going incredibly slow, people that cut me off in traffic without turn signals, people who f around in the tsa line and don't get ready then stand there for ten minutes taking everything off for the scanner and hold us up, “there” and “their” and “they’re” misuses, etc. jeez, didn't realize I had so many and that's not even all of them

39: what color do you wear the most? blue?

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I love my claddagh ring, my mom and sister both have the same one and we all match. currently not wearing it bc it was like 100 degrees F then other day and it burned my finger?????

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? asoiaf!!!!

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I like this lil coffee shop about half an hour away, every drink has an individual and funny name and the workers are nice

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? I honestly can’t remember, but I could really go for this right now

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? uhhhh it’s been a bit? lotta stressors recently

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? I try to, should've listened to them regarding some stuff and I didn’t

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. what do you call a blind dinosaur? a do-you-think-he-saurus.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? broccoli

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? santa and the dark, no on both accounts now

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? no, I just use apple music

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? I dunno about odd, but I keep seashells and shark teeth I find on beaches

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? somebody to love

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? uhhhh I’m bad at keeping up with when these come out but probably the “wait was anyone going to tell me ___ or was I supposed to find out in this ___”

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I haven't seen these sorry!

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my dad

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? I honestly cannot think of this right now

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? when they get excited about something, when their eyes sparkle a bit in sunlight, when they’re touchy (only certain ones), compassion, weird hobbies and interests, etc

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? it’s an experience. listen with headphones on high or don't listen to it at all

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? I guess I’d be the wine mom bc I don't drink heavily too often with my friends cause I’m usually the dd, vodka aunt would go to my friend S cause hell she puts that shit away fast

59: what’s your favorite myth? I love greek mythology

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? sappho

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? a lil cat bank that grabs a coin with its paw and drags it into the box and a potato, respectively

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? not usually

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I kept all of my books on a shelf before the move but idk what imma do with them now bc I have no room for a bookcase so they're kinda messy rn

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? pale blue and cloudy

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a friend who moved away a few years ago, I miss her

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? oooooh. hmm. lots of blues and pinks and purples with lil twisty brown vines?

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? I love them, 10/10, perfect.

68: what’s winter like where you live? we either get 3 feet of snow overnight or a dusting, there’s no in between

69: what are your favorite board games? I cant remember the last time I played a board game??? I liked the game of life and monopoly when I was a kid

70: have you ever used a ouija board? nope

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? whatever happens to be in the cabinet!

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? I have the memory of a goldfish

73: what are some of your worst habits? letting people get away with things they've done to me, being too lenient with people that make me uncomfortable, etc

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re such a good friend and we have enough years built into our friendship that we can go a few weeks without talking and be right where we left off. they’re kind and caring and ready to help people when they need it

75: tell us about your pets! my cat is an 8 year old lil grump, but he gets so freaking affectionate and lovey too. he knows when I’m anxious and will come up and sit on my chest and purr. my dog’s a ball of jumping energy, she's always excited and happy, she’s only 2 so hopefully she’ll mellow out. then my clownfish are flipping adorable even though they try to bite my fingers when I’m working on the aquarium

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? unpacking and socializing with family

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink lemonade

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I don't care about them really, but the facebook minion memes passed around by moms gotta stop

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? one of my exes surprise got me flowers sometimes, while the relationship just didn't work that was a cute action

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? they’re kinda beige-ish? I just moved here and I don’t wanna repaint them

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. hmm. one of my friends’ eyes are like the leaves on the forest floor, an assortment of greens and browns blended together with the occasional fleck of gold when light filters through the trees

82: are/were you good in school? I’m okay? In high school I was in honor classes and stuff and I've made the deans list a few times in college so far, but honestly I think I’m just average. I have a lot of issues with math and it’s why I couldn't go into one of the fields I was considering. I get overwhelmed quickly

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? tbh I don't look at this kinda stuff but I know kesha’s rainbow was good?

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? ye! I want a small humpback whale on my left inner wrist, they mean a lot to me and I finally got to see one in person just last year. then I have some scars on my thigh I’ve been tossing around the idea of getting a tattoo to cover up, but idk if I would or what I would get

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? no sorry! I always wanted to when I was younger but I got psyched out by guys who would say they're not for girls who I never took advantage of the comic shop a family friend owns

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? I dunno what this is and I’m too tired to google it but imma guess its about music? to which I say I’m v bad at keeping up with everyones stuff

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? the princess bride, star wars, lord of the rings, the sound of music, indiana jones (NOT crystal skull, it sucked), jurassic park, and a lottttt more.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? impressionism, post impressionism, and expressionism

89: are you close to your parents? ish.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I absolutely loved st. malo in france. I need to go back. it’s a giant walled city on the water and it’s just beautiful. I sat and watched an artist on the street for a while and bought two of his paintings afterward, gotta figure out where to hang them in my new bedroom. the air smelled amazing, it rained a lot when I was there but I still loved it and I wish I’d had more time to really explore than I did

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I wanted to go to sri lanka to see my family but I don’t think it’s gonna happen, but I’ve got my fingers crossed for pennsylvania cause reasons

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? cheese is life

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? I braid it overnight and wear it down during the day!

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my dad a few days ago

95: what are your plans for this weekend? I think I’ve got another family party to go to? feel kinda done with my fam rn though

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I literally just installed 2 years worth of updates this morning, so yeah, I procrastinate updates quite a bit

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? idk what the first thing is but the others are scorpio and slytherin!

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? oh wow I can’t remember, but imma say yes? I wanna hike with my dog at some point

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. somebody to love, la mer, and some others

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the future. I hope that future me is happy and comfy with someone she loves surrounded by their plants, aquariums, pets, and love.

#this was #so long #youre adorable ily #lack of emojis due to typing on my computer #oof #answered

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