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#some people would say that's not necessarily a problem‚ and on the face of it maybe it isn't

goldsbitch · 21 days

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can I request a Lando x reader where the reader’s weakness is when people stroke her hair? Her mind goes completely blank and she falls silent immediately when people stroke her hair and Lando uses it at his advantage.

Fluffy pls and ty🫶🏻

omg, i love this prompt so much - thank you and hope you like it!!

This is one is dripping with sweetness a little too much, don't say I did not warn you. No other warning.

Lando was born a tease, oscillating between clueless and shy, to unapologetic and bordeline dickish. It all depended on the setting, his relationship to the person and how much sleep he got the night before. Sometimes your boyfriend was the sweetest little thing, giggling shyly about everything instead of coming up with an actual response, and the other times he was a walking menace actively seeking every opportunity how to get you into a flustered state.

You and Lando were full on deep in the beginning of your relationship, the sweetest part of the honeymoon phase. To put it bluntly - fucking almost non stop. And the desire was never-ending. Blinding sunshine kissed good morning to every day you two got to wake up next to each other. Problems seem to be non existent. Bliss.

It was the way his hair curled when he got a little bit sweaty, his toned body what you were desperate to explore from every angle and the need to know every little secret trick that worked on him. It became some sort of a game, who would get better at knowing the other. Which one of you found all the buttons to push.

Lando rose up that morning and chose violence. Metaphorical one, of course. Snuggling up to you in order to wake you up as well for some morning work out, as he like to call it. Whispering sweet nothings to your ear and touching you all over your body. But you were just incredibly sore from the past few days, physically unable to keep up.

"Why don't you love me anymore," he pleaded jokingly as you murmured another weak appeal for your sleep.

"Lando, you know I love you more than anything," you replied, still half asleep. But it was hard to distinguish as reality resembled a sweet dream everyday lately.

"I remember when you used to want me, physically," he kept going.

"We literally had sex few hours ago, stop whining," you kissed him between your words. He looked at you with his incredible eyes, little devil dancing in each one of them.

"Exactly, too long ago. Wish I could go back in time when you were not sore and get inside you all over again."

You simply laughed, absolutely smitten with this lovey dovey side of him. His words made you melt like butter sitting under direct sun. You brushed your noses together and then he kissed you.

The best part of romantic relationships is the one that you cannot absolutely share with other people, the almost embarrassing pleas, desire and gross goofiness, simping at each other all the time.

"Fine, if you play by these rules, I'll come back with my own revenge," he said finally as you inevitably had to start getting ready to go to the paddock with him.

Today was the big day. You'd been spotted in public countless of times, the "girlfriend" title officially sitting on your head for weeks now. But this was the first time you were to join him in the paddock as a wag. You were trying to hide your nervousness, but he saw right through you. Before you exited the apartment, he made you stop and took your face in his hands. "I'm happy I get to do this with you. I love parading you around, for everyone to see that we're a team." You smiled, his words hitting like first snowflakes of the year. "Poor Oscar, I can't wait to finally trauma dump the shared misery you bring to our lives," you jokes and locked lips with him once again. "God, it's terrifying how much I like you," you said automatically, without having to think about it.

It actually wasn't as bad as you'd expected. It was definitely weird and strange, but not necessarily bad. Having Lando by your side as you passed the gates definitely helped. The photographers were lined up as people at a shooting range would and it did feel like that at first. But as quickly as you were initially overwhelmed, fatigue took over you and you blocked their ever-presence out. Trying to chat up those Lando introduce you to and memorizing the names. You knew how much some of these people meant to Lando, so you were trying to be at your best behavior. The thought that his friends would hate you in the same way as some of his fans haunted you.

In the middle of all the rush, you parted for a moment. To be honest, little peace of quiet and chill was something you appreciated. But remember, Lando woke up and chose violence this morning. And his plan was quite simple, yet bulletproof.

"Y/N! There you are, my love," you heard from coming from behind you. "I have someone to introduce to you! I'm very much sure you'll appreciate meeting him." As you turned, you saw Daniel Ricciardo walking your way with your Lando. You were a little perplexed as to why Lando was so cheerful about that. You clearly remembered him getting very upset when you admitted to him that at some point in the past, when formula 1 was a world far away from you, that you had a minor crush on Daniel. Which obviously went out of the window once you met Lando. That did not mean that Lando was 100% ok with it.

"Y/N, as I'm sure you know, this is Daniel, hell of a driver and good friend of mine," Lando continued and you knew him well enough to know he had ulterior motives. Not sure what to do, you smiles shyly and shook Daniel's hand.

"Hi, Daniel," you said, eyes flinching between him and Lando. You were full on preparing for anything. Lando's smirk almost had a life of his own at that point.

"Nice to finally meet you, Y/N. I've heard quite a lot things about you!" Daniel opened, life of the party as per usual.

You chuckled. "All good things, I hope!" And with that, Lando stepped behind you and put his arm around you.

"Only the best," he said, leaned closed and inconspicuously started to stroke you hair gently. Oh, he did not just go this low.

It was slow, yet like tidal wave. You stopped breathing for a moment. Your body relaxing, as if you'd just taken the world's best sedatives. The way his hands made you feel was etherial. It was the same sensation the luckier ones experienced when listening to ASMR and the less fortunate ones sometimes called an orgasm. Shivers slowly traveling around your whole body, every part becoming sensitive out of nowhere. You weren't able to look at Daniel, let alone continue speaking. Lando was more than aware of what touching your hair did to you. He'd discovered this trick quite early on. And it was his favorite one.

"So, where are you from?" Daniel attempted at small talk. But how could you possibly give a fuck at that moment. Not that your body would even allowed you to respond. The only thing you were able to take in from the outside world were the soft slow movements Lando's fingers were doing, blocking everything out instanteniously.

Daniel stared at you, waiting. From his perspective, this was a very awkward meeting.

Lando answered for you, with a smirk you did not see, but could feel from the tone of his voice. "You have to excuse her, she is bit shy in front of new people."

You could not give less of a fuck at that moment of what these two were saying. Your lips were starting to shiver from getting so sensitive. You took a short breath and someone who would be standing close and knew you well would know, that what escaped your mouth was not a nervous laugh, but something very close to a moan.

Lando and Daniel were saying words, but none of that was important, while Lando's fingers were working his magic. He would only leave your hair alone once he saw Daniel leaving.

You wanted to be mad at him. But you were still sort of high from all the sensation bomb Lando dropped on you. You slowly turned around to face him, coming down from your own personal nirvana.

You took a deep breath while he watched you without a blink and biting hims smile away.

"You promised," you let out air that got stuck in your lungs somewhere along the way. "You promised you would not do this in public." Your brain was slowly wiring up to normal again.

"I told you I'd punish you for the morning," he said as if it was the most amusing thing ever. "Also, if Daniel is my competition, I'm going to use all the advantage I have."

Lando had a way of looking at you that made you unravel instantaneously and there was no way of stopping it. There was just something about his smile that did it for you. As anyone who is properly in love, you could not imagine somebody being able tor resist that. In your love soaked mind, he was irresistible. To a normal mind, he was probably just a regular guy, but that idea was unfathomable to you.

"I'm pretty sure that after what I just pulled, you will not have to worry about Daniel liking me," you chuckled, having to accept that Lando won this one.

"I would never let my guard down...But yeah, I think this one is pretty safe," he chuckled once more. You kissed his overly proud face and promised to yourself to get back at him later, in the privacy of his bedroom.

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writingwithcolor · 4 months

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Diversity Win: Is "Crazy Rich" POC Representation Necessarily Empowering?

sodapopsculptor asked:

I’m writing a story with two sets of protagonists: A trio with a Black girl, a Latino, and a Vietnamese-American boy who all come from middle-upper class to ridiculously rich families, and a pair of white working-middle class sisters. They’re all heroes of this story. I’ve seen way too many rich white people and poor poc people in fiction, and I’m kinda getting sick of it, but I’m worried that by having the poc kids be rich and the white girls not so much, I’ll be reinforcing the idea that poc somehow rule the world. The only time the rich kids use their status as leverage is when the Asian threatens to sic his cop dad on a bully (race unstated but I imagined him as white) picking on a freshman, and during the Black girl’s birthday party, when she pays the biggest jock there fifty bucks (And later says offhandedly that it was just what she had in her pocket) to chase off a creep hitting on her.

OP, have you ever seen the “diversity win!” meme before?

I understand that your motivation for these narrative choices is to give POC a chance, if you will, to be the rich characters. But it is evident from this ask that you have not asked yourself what this entails. I want to ask you to critically examine the race and class intersections you’re creating here, as well as these kids’ roles in oppressive systems.

You explain that these rich POC are heroes and only have righteous reasons for leveraging their power.

But is your Black girl character aware of the potential disciplinary and/or legal consequences her jock accomplice might face while she has the resources to keep her hands clean? Are you?

Is your Asian character aware of how much of an abuse of power it is to “sic” a cop on someone, and the sheer amount of harm a criminal record or incarceration does to a juvenile with behavior issues? Are you?

So you want to put POC in positions of power for #representation.

Does it resonate with the group you’re representing?

Do you research and portray the unique ways race, ethnicity, class, and majority vs. minority status come together?

Or are you putting these characters in oppressive hegemonic roles for the sake of a power fantasy, on behalf of a group you're not even in?

To your question, you're not reinforcing the idea that "POC rule the world" because such a generalized belief does not exist. Instead, you're reinforcing:

The idea that society has “winners” and “losers.”

The idea that the problem with disproportionately powerful people is the lack of “equal opportunity” as opposed to the power imbalance to begin with.

The idea that those in oppressive positions of power need only have the right intentions to justify their use of it.

To be clear: that is not to say that you can't have jerk aristocrat billionaire millionaire crazy rich POC. Evil or mean rich characters are fun! I have some myself! You can even have rich characters who are gentle-hearted and well-intentioned, but you have to know the ways in which they’re privileged and decide how aware of that your characters are. That’s no problem.

But if you think that wealthy and powerful POC would have the same values and priorities as their poorer counterparts, you’re deluding yourself. There’s a reason why the quote “power corrupts” exists. There’s a reason why no matter where you look on the globe, there are historical dictators and tyrants.

If you want bratty rich POC who lack regard for the consequences of their actions, because you want bratty rich characters, great! If you want them because it would be uplifting or empowering representation? You’re doing it for the wrong reason.

~ Rina

I fully agree with Rina, and truly want to emphasize the last paragraph.

I don't think you need to aim to subvert or purposely make all the BIPOC rich and powerful and the white people poor and suffering. Add diversity and include upper class rich and class privileged BIPOC, sure thing! And you can avoid your fears of intentional subversion message by including rich and powerful white characters as well, even if they're not the focus of your story. Just their existence helps. You could also include middle-class characters of Color as well.

More reading: Black in upper-class society

~Mod Colette

#class #upper class #capitalism #POC #creator responsibility #asks #representation #wealth #privilege #subverting tropes #intersectionality #crazy rich asians #last edited 1/8/24

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bukguhope · 1 year

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Fall Back in Love | jjk

> jungkook somehow grew a reputation of sleeping around on campus, leaving him lonely and inexperienced with relationships. so when you, his old childhood best friend moves onto campus, he discovers what a relationship can feel like as he finds himself falling in love with you

> jungkook x f.reader, childhood best friends,friends to lovers, slow burn, light smut, jealous! jungkook, needy!jungkook, mature, mentions of blood and fighting

Fall Back in Love drabble

wc: 17.6k (got carried away)

“why would we go on a date?” jungkook fought the frown that wanted to appear on his face. not again. this had to be the at least the third time this month he’s had the exact same conversation the morning after he slept with a woman he either got chatting to at a party or a local club. it was like every woman within a five mile radius had a meeting and collectively decided to sleep with him then never see him again afterwards. he didn’t want to seem pathetic, isn’t that exactly what the majority of guys his age wanted? in their eyes he had the perfect situation going on, constant sex when he wanted it with no strings attached. what he wanted to know however was how they dealt with the constant loneliness that occurred every time the hook up left? or the heartache that came when he saw a college couple walking around campus throwing their love in his face every morning at 8am? he tried not to be bitter, it was cute they found someone to spend their college years with. no he was bitter, so very bitter. he was a romantic at heart, so how did he get such a reputation that meant no woman ever wanted to even go on one date?

oh he knew how, it was that stupid frat party at the beginning of the year when he started his course. the first week of college was basically back to back drinking, parties and nights out. if you remembered it you didn’t do it right, as most people would say. he knew no one, none of his friends were in his year they had already done this prior to him and were doing other things as they were older and deep into their courses. they encouraged him though, saying he needed to make friends in his own year to make his life easier. so when he overheard of this party some guys on the swim team were having, he decided to go along. well, after a lot of convincing from his older friends because he certainly didn’t want to go. but he built up the courage and found himself stuck right in the middle of the action and after a lot of alcohol, he actually found himself having a good time. he found one friend at least, taeyong, who turned out to be his roommate. he stuck by him for most of the night and when he introduced him to this girl- the night took a turn. it was very evident what she wanted, a one night stand, and jungkook wasn’t about to turn her down not after the nice amount of alcohol in his system. now that wasn’t the problem at all, it was the fact she went around afterwards saying he was definitely a player because of how he acted in bed. she made sure that everyone knew that he was good in bed but for some reason she decided to add in a small little detail. that he had never been in a relationship, and he didn’t want one. where she picked this up from? he had no idea, he did say in small talk he never had a relationship but he did not recall insinuating he didn’t ever want one. so now he’s been totally screwed the entire year, and here he was once again the morning after the end of year semester party this time- getting turned down “right, why would we? just asked to, be polite” the woman chuckles as she changes, jungkook watches his own hands play with each other as she does so. he didn’t want this reputation, no one was taking him seriously. although he didn’t necessarily want to date this girl, he still thought it would be nice to go out and have a civilised conversation for once without loud ass music pumping through his ears and drunk people running around him.

“okay well, see ya” and with that she was out of his dorm and he was alone, huffing he flops back and his head hits his pillows. as he led there staring at his ceiling he came to a conclusion, he was done with this, with the one night stands. he felt so pathetic, at first it started off as some fun but then it turned into just bringing someone back so he had someone to cuddle to sleep - how sad. the sadess part was that sometimes they didnt even stay the night, so occasionally he would end up alone anyway. but now he couldnt do it anymore, he felt used and even more alone then when this all started. “here he is, the man of the hour”

“taeyong, iam not in the mood” he wasnt even scared of the man bursting into his room anymore, not even a flinch, this happened more often then he would like, he appreciated the guy but boy did he have zero boundaries.

“dont be so glum, just saw that girl leave. have fun last night did we?” jungkook glared at him as he plonked himself at the end of his bed, he didnt need anymore reminders of the embarrassment he just endured and he doesnt want to engage anymore in the idea that he was nothing more then a good night to these women. especially with the fact that most people did not think much of him growing up, particularly when it came to his feelings. as a kid he was known as ‘the one thats good a sport’ for most of school, everyone just assumed that he was this happy go lucky boy that liked sports and had no deeper thoughts running through his head. no teacher ever asked him in class what he thought of the book they all had to read over the summer, never did classmates ask him for the help with the homework- even though he usually did well on assignments. no they just turned to him for a good laugh. which was fine, he didnt mind because back then he had you. jungkook remembers you so fondly, when he was at the back of the classroom with his hand held shyly in the air when the teacher asked if anyone hand any opinions. of course, he would never get chosen but as the person who did was answering you’d lean over to him and whisper to ask what he wanted to say and that he would say it to you. he also thought about when you would be struggling on a question and turn to him right away to ask him if he could help you, even when the guy at the top of the class was right there on the other side of you. honestly, jungkook felt so valued when you were in his life, you seemed to really care about his opinions, thoughts and feelings. when everyone turned a blind eye to him one day in school because his pet had passed away, not wanting to talk to the school joker because he was miserable, you came right up to him. you asked what was wrong, gave him a hug and told him everything was going to be alright. but he didnt have you anymore, you flew off somewhere right before the end of school and he lost contact. sure, he met his six new best friends shortly after but it didnt make it easier. in fact, nothing about his life was easy at the moment. “i had the furthest thing from fun” jungkook replied, in monotone making taeyong rasie an eyebrow at him. deep down he knew why his friend was down, taeyong had saw this happening from the very start. he always tried to laugh it off, make jungkook see some sort of funny side but there wasnt any side that he found laughable. “if only that fucking girl at the start of the year didnt open her mouth” he sighs before he takes a little look at his friend sat on his bed “you’re such a big softie”

it was summer now, the sun big and bright in the sky as everyone on campus began talking about the array of summer parties that were already being organised. jungkook made a deal with himself that he would not bet attending a single one of those parties, he hated them anyway he didnt know why he always went to them

“just go to them, dont be boring” oh yeah thats why. he glares over to his friend jimin as they sit on the campus yard - their five other friends right there with them

“i see why he doesnt want to” yoongi mutters, making jungkook happy one of them was finally agreeing with him “they get boring after a while, they play the same music and bring the same alcohol every damn time.” jungkook definitely agreed here, of course the main reason was to avoid hookups and every woman looking at him as if he wasn’t a fully functional human that had feelings but he wasnt going to tell them that.

“we just dont want him to be alone, none of us are in the same year as him. he needs friends that he can see more often” it annoyed jungkook that namjoon had a point, but no amount of debating was going to make him go to anymore parties

“i have taeyong, ill be fine. plus i see you guys enough, more then enough if you ask me” he was about to laugh at his own joke before taehyung threw his jacket directly at his head.

“you’re the one begging for us to hang out with you all the time, dont get cocky” the group shares a laugh as jungkook huff and rips the jacket from his head. taehyung was of course correct though, jungkook was always asking the whole group to hang out together which these days hardly ever happened. with all of them busy doing their own thing, it left not much time for them to hang out just the seven of them. if he were really honest with himself he’d say he was jealous, because they all made their own friends that were in the same year as them whereas jungkook only had taeyong. he didn’t even have taeyong that often, he was social butterfly and was always of doing something that he end up telling jungkook about at the end of the day. so not only did no women want to spend time with him outside of having sex, his friends also had better things to be doing as well - college life couldn’t get any better.

“i wouldn’t have to beg if you guys actually wanted to spend time with me anymore” jungkook whined as he threw tae’s jacket back at him. the other boys looked hesitantly at each other, there was no doubt they loved jungkook and wanted to spend all the time they could with him. but they had separate life’s, some had girlfriends which paired with college work didn’t leave much time as it was.

“of course we do, we just have other stuff on too” hoseok tries to be as soft about the topic as possible, not wanting to imply jungkook was less important then their other priorities. the youngest knew that the guys wanted to hang out but had other reasons meaning they couldn’t as often as he’d like, if only he tired harder at the beginning of the year to make other friends

“join a club or something, meet new people” jin suggests and the whole group nods their heads in agreement while jungkook sat glumly, he couldn’t think of anything worse then joining one of the clubs. not that he had anything against the people that attended, but nothing interested him. he wasn’t into sport anymore and he took no fascination in anything else available. he used to be a passionate guy, he enjoyed playing football, reading and painting but now he just- was bored at the thought. in fact, he stopped doing all that when you had left probably because you did all of those things with him. you always came to watch him play, sat on the benches wearing his number top shouting his name loudly. you encouraged him to read different books that he might like and sat at the end of his bed while you both read quietly. and of course you got him into painting, brining two big canvases to his house one day with brushes and paint telling him to get his ass outside so you could paint together. he had so much fun when he was a kid with you, never was a day boring because you made it enjoyable. now he didn’t do any of it anymore, there was no one to encourage him to do so nor do it with him.

“would rather show a pinecone up my ass than join a club” jimin snorts at this making jin smack him over the head for encouraging jungkooks attitude. they hated to see their youngest friend so lonely, especially during his college years. they were supposed to be some of the best in his life but he’s spent most of it getting turned down by women who just want to sleep with him and making zero friends.

“oh new subject, new girl just started she’s in your year jungkook” hoseok says and jungkook was far from interested in this, why would he care that someone new was joining? “and i set you up on a blind date” now he was interested, no he was confused and panicked

“what? why would you do that? i don’t want to go on a blind date! are you crazy?!”

“i believe what you were meant to say was ‘thank you’” hoseok replies as his friends freak out. honestly he was tired of jungkook complaining about the way women on campus viewed him without doing anything about it. he thought jungkook should’ve shut down those rumours about him not wanting to date and just stop sleep around as soon as they circulated if it bothered him that much. but of course he didn’t.

“hoseok, i can’t believe you set me up and why did you leave it this late into the meet up to tell me?!” his older friends shrugged his shoulders

“forgot” jungkook appeared flabbergasted at his friends brazen attitude to setting him up on a date without even asking him first

“do you even know her name?!”

“nope” the younger groaned as all his friends laughed, truly he wanted to get out of this blind date but without as much as a name how the hell was he supposed to do that? he was sure hoseok wasn’t going to cancel it for him. “all i know is, you’re meeting her outside the music building tomorrow. be there for 6pm sharp”

“tomorrow?! and you’re telling me now?”

“at least i didn’t wait until tomorrow to say. stop being a baby it’s just a date” jungkook stayed quiet after this, already getting nervous for whoever hoseok had set him up with.

it was party time once again later that night, jungkook stuck to his word and decided to stay home rather then attend it. he was sick of the cycle, girl comes up to him- sleeps with him then leaves after and doesn’t want anything else to do with him. it bored him now. so, while everyone else got drunk and had a good time, he was sat at his desk working on a paper that was due no where near soon. his phone buzzed on the table, distracting him from his typing.

jimin 😈 you boring fucker, get your ass to this party 23:46

would rather stick a fork up in my eye goodnight 23:47

once he replied he but his phone back down and leaned back in his chair, honestly he felt like he was missing out. all his friends were there, not just people from his year, so it was possible he’d actually have fun at this party. he just wanted to stick to his plan to avoid that scene, although right now he could’ve really used a drink. with a groan he shut his laptop and began to get ready to head out, already knowing where the party was being held. maybe after this he wouldn’t attend anymore? in a prompt hour he was dressed nicely and in the middle of a big crowd with loud music pumping through his body. the mixed vodka drink in his hand already half finished as he talked with taeyong, well tried to with the music.

“there’s a girl totally staring at you right now” jungkook rolled his eyes, not even bothering to turn around and see who he was talking about. he may have broke the promise to himself to not come out tonight, but he for sure was not going to hook up with anyone. he was done with the embarrassment of being hit and quit, no longer wanting to experience the awkwardness after doing the deed

“good for her, iam going to refill my drink” pushing past everyone as quickly as he could, he entered the busy kitchen to mix together a stronger drink then before.

“oh i thought you would rather shove eating utensils in your eye then be here?” a voice calls from behind him and he chuckles as jimin is stood there, red solo cup in hand.

“well i knew you lot might miss me so decided to ease the pain” his friend rolls his eyes as he sets his drink on the counter

“please, don’t flatter yourself” just as quick as he arrived, jimin was about to leave after someone called his name from a direction jungkook couldn’t quite see. but before he did go, he added “there’s totally a girl staring into your soul right now” again, jungkook didn’t react and didn’t look to see who it was. just nodded to indicate he heard jimin before his friends turned around a left. sighing, he took sip out of his now refilled cup and winced at just how strong he made it. his plan to only come out to hang out with his usual friends went south when he realised they were all drunk and separated out doing their own thing, so he was left standing around on his own like usual.

“here he is” jungkook turned to see taeyong with a girl beside him in a short dress with long hair “you can finally stop asking for him” realising that the girl beside his roommate was brought over for him he rolled his eyes

“so this is the one night stud everyone’s been going on about” he had to suppress a scoff at her words, of course she came over for that reason. that stupid girl from the start of the year really ruined his reputation. “so do you wanna get out of here?”

“no, thanks iam good” the stranger seemed surprised at his words, expecting an opposite answer “taeyong iam leaving” with that jungkook abandons the idea of actually having a good night and decides he’d rather just go back home.

“come on man, it might make you feel better” jungkook stops at the door as taeyong chased after him

“what another one night stand? iam done with the pointless sex, they don’t even engage in small talk anymore, don’t even want to know a single thing about me. iam finished with feeling used, goodbye” with that he left and was certain that this would be the last time he was going to a dorm party.

it was the next day which meant it was time for the dreaded blind date, jungkook had no energy for it. ever since he woke up he was in a foul mood, all his friends were hungover and not answering his texts and he missed an important lecture because he got his schedules mixed up. if he knew who this date was he would be cancelling, but he didn’t and the only other option was to stand them up. he knew he would just feel bad for making the person wait around for him, so at 5pm he begrudgingly began to get ready. he had no idea what the plan even was for this date so he kept it casual; jeans, white shirt and a denim jacket. checking the time it was almost 6pm so he quickly but on some shoes, gathered his keys and wallet and headed off to the music department. he was not looking forward to having to meet up with a complete stranger who’s probably already heard about his ‘reputation’, in all honesty he believed this girl most likely agreed to this date because she wanted to sleep with him. and that wasn’t even because of his ego, it’s literally all any girl propositions when they meet him- he didn’t even think he was that good in bed so why did they all want to? shaking all the thoughts from his head, he stalks to the music department. the campus was pretty empty at this time but a few people were still walking around, at this point he didn’t know whether he wanted to be stood up by this mystery woman. sure it would be embarrassing but at least he would have to go. but that scenario was ditched when he came close to the department and saw the back of girl, looking at the floor clearly waiting for someone. sighing he walks over, lightly tapping the girl on the shoulder. he kept a fake smile on his face, it wasn’t this strangers fault he was in a foul mood. once the girl did turn though, his mouth dropped open in surprise.

“jungkook?” you say in shock, it was him. your childhood best friend was the person you were forcibly set up with tonight. having pretty much just arrived at the campus you wanted to settle in, but after a guy your new roommates knew said he had the perfect person for you to go on a date with, you were pretty much pushed to go through it. you recognised him easily now, however at a party you attended you could’ve sworn you saw him. but in the dim light and pushy crowd, it was hard to tell. you looked at him for so long, trying to follow him around to get a good look but he left before you could go up to him and you felt creepy enough following a possible stranger around you weren’t about to chase after him. now, he was here standing in front of you dressed up to go on a blind date.

“y/n? i can’t believe-” suddenly you two let out synchronised screams as you wrapped your arms around each other, jumping in circles as you hugged one other. a few people stared over at the commotion but neither of you noticed, or cared. jungkook couldn’t fathom the fact his night went from being utterly in a mood to reuniting with one of the best friends he’s ever had. seeing you again made his heart pick up in pace, he finally felt happy again after such a shit first year at college. after finally letting go of each other, both of you couldn’t help the smiles that were planted on your lips.

“out of all the people to be set up with, i get stuck with you” jungkook let out a gasp as he pushes you playfully

“you should think of yourself as lucky” you chuckle at his words before a comfortable silence grows. the pair of you can’t help but just look at each other as your minds comprehend the coincidence.

“well, i guess we should start the date” you break the silence and jungkook nods in agreement. “hey why don’t we go to an arcade, like old times?” when you were kids you two would always go to an arcade on the weekends. at first it was a one off, but slowly it became a weekly thing. the mention of it made jungkook smile even bigger then before

“i’ll show you to a great one, and on the way you need to tell me everything. like what are doing here? how was life abroad? how’s your parents? what are you majoring in?” you laugh as jungkook begins to walk and ask multiple questions. you follow beside him, also thinking of a few questions yourself.

“my parents came back for work, they said i could continue my studies abroad but i wanted to come back. life away was fun but not as good as here, my parents are good and iam doing english literature” you answer his questions and he nods as the pair of you walk side by side, it was still amazing to you that you were right beside him again. you thought about him all the time, you were closer to no one in your life then you were to him. “how have you been? still taking the sports world by storm?” jungkook’s smile faltered a little, forgetting that he was very much into sports the last time you knew him

“no i uh- stopped playing after school” you were surprised at this, there wasn’t many sports he didn’t play in school and he was good at all of them. you were about to ask why when he suddenly pulls you to his other side on the pavement, a cyclist suddenly speeding past. you put a hand over your heart, it suddenly beating faster - which you put down to almost being knocked over not by jungkook pulling you. the pair of you continue walking and you get to ask your question

“why did you stop?” jungkook sighed at the question, not wanting to admit that once you left he slowly gave up on most things. you were the only one to encourage him to continue after all

“i just lost interest” he shrugged the question off but you frowned, you remembered how happy he was every time you watched him play anything. the way he be so excited whenever his team won, why would he lose interest in that. “here’s the arcade, let’s go in” you didn’t realise how lost in thought you were until you looked up at his words and saw the flashing lights from outside the window. following him inside you looked around at all the games, memories of all those weekends together as kids came to mind as you did so.

“dance revolution is first we know this” you declare making jungkook laugh and follow you to the dancing machine in the corner of the place. it was like you were never apart, so comfortable with each other. he vividly remembers how obsessed you were with the stupid dance game, having to go on it as soon as you walked through the doors each week. he joins you on the platform as you slot in a coin a begin to search through the random songs on the program. you seem to be looking at one for an awfully long time making jungkook give you a side eye

“that says extremely hard, no chance keep looking” smirking you select confirm and jungkook groans at your defiance. “really?”

“come on it’ll be funny” you justify as the song loads up and immediately you see a bunch of arrows filling the screen, making you regret your choice a little. the stomping on the floor is loud as you and jungkook try and hit every arrow to the fast paced song. you can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous the pair of you must look, jumping around to try not miss a beat. your breathing gets harder as your legs move rapidly, looking over to his side you see that jungkook is beating you. “how the fuck are you doing this?” you shout out, noticing he’s hardly missed an arrow, his score much higher then yours

“iam just too good at everything, what can i do?” he breaths out, before hitting a combo that you ultimately miss at the same time. sighing in relief when the song comes to an end the two of you rest your hands on your knees as you bend over to catch your breath. a big loser sign appears on your side of the screen while jungkooks side displays a green winner.

“unbelievable” you don’t think you’ve ever beaten jungkook at this game, you thought maybe after all this time you had a chance but still he came out victorious. the pair of you walk away from the machine, breathing back to normal as you look for your next game. the two of you spent the next hour and half playing around in the arcade, both feeling like kids all over again. you were happy you actually agreed to go on this blind date and jungkook definitely felt the same. each day of college made him want to drop out more and more, but like usually when he was at his lowest you came to the rescue to pick him back up again. waking out of the arcade together, laughing mindlessly, the pair of you take off back to campus together.

“iam happy you chose to come back, honestly- i haven’t been having a good time at college” you grow upset to hear this, you assumed jungkook would be enjoying his time well you hoped he was.

“you haven’t? jungkook what’s wrong?” your concern flattered him, you were always the caring type especially when it came to him. though he didn’t know if he really wanted to go into detail about what exactly was giving him problems.

“well it’s just, i’ve had this issue for while at the moment.” you stayed silent, hoping this would prompt him to continue talking. wrapping your arms around yourself as you did so “this is so embarrassing but at the start of the year i got with this girl, she assumed i explicitly wanted a one night stand so began telling her friends that. they then told their friends and so on, it’s gotten to the point where literally no girl on campus wants anything to do with me unless it’s sex” you nodded at his explanation, feeling awful for him knowing that ever since your were friends he seemed the romantic type. always going on about wanting to have a wife and kids as soon as possible, you thought it was weird when you were younger but as you grew up you just realised that his parents were so in love that he just wanted to be like them. “plus i have like no friends in my year” he finishes and you felt so sorry for him, he was such a good person when you were younger- he didn’t deserve to feel this low when it should be the best years of his life

“iam sorry to here that jungkook, but look those are just silly rumours. don’t let people who want something from you involved in your life, if they wanted to get to know you they would. and iam in your year now, if you ask nice enough, i might be your friend” he laughs at you, wondering how you always manage to make him smile so easily.

“always so wise y/n” he says as you two catch sight of the campus, it not being too far away. jungkook couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed at having to leave you so soon after meeting you again.

“let’s exchange numbers and meet again soon, iam so glad we got to see each other again” smiling jungkook pulls his phone from his pocket and hands it over to you, watching happily as you punch your number in and give yourself a call. handing it back you give him a smile before continuing to walk onto campus, jungkook not far behind you before he’s by your side. one side of the campus contained the boys dorm and the other had the girls, you stopped in the middle of the yard to say goodbye but jungkook beat you

“let me walk you back. it’s dark” his sweetness made your heart melt, he was the same sweetheart as he always was

“i’ll be fine, thanks though. you get home safe, from what i hear girls here go crazy for one night with you”. they might jump you on your way back”jungkook groans at your teasing, you were still the same as you always was- sarcastic and playful. you laugh as you walk backwards, giving him a wave before finally turning around and walking away. he watches you walk off, sighing when you turn a corner and he could no longer see you.

the next morning jungkook had a bounce in his step as he walks over to meet his friends in the yard, only hoseok, jimin and taehyung were able to make it. the smile is bright on the youngest face as he seats on the grass, making his three friends look at him confused.

“why is your face doing that?” taehyung inquires making jungkook give him an odd look, but taehyung’s face remains serious

“doing what?”

“like, smiling and shit?” his friends are even more surprised when jungkook laughs, not exactly the type of reaction they normally get

“i can’t smile?” the three men look at each other before answering in sync

“no” jungkook rolls his eyes, but after spending the evening with you yesterday he was just in too good of a mood to get upset.

“so, blind date went well” hoseok asks, eyebrow raised as he was sure jungkook was adamant that he didn’t want to go

“actually yes. the girl you set me up with was actually y/n, remember the one i told you about?” his friends faces a shocked at the news, they were beginning to think you weren’t real with how often jungkook spoke about you

“no fucking way? the girl you talk about all the bloody time? that’s crazy” jimin adds to the conversation, jungkook’s smile growing bigger that the thought of you

“oh my god you’re so in love!” taehyung exclaims making jungkook widen his eyes, he loved you sure but it was definitely platonic- right?

“no no, she’s my childhood best friend. iam just glad she’s here” hoseok narrows his eyes at his friend, he knew for sure that no one could react like this over a friend. he wasn’t going to mention anything about it though, but he knew that with time jungkook would be coming right back to them saying he was in love - he would bet money on it

“jungkooks wife aside” the youngest was about to contest but jimin was already talking “namjoon says that he is hosting his very own party this weekend” the came as a surprise to the other boys, none of them had ever organised a dorm party. sure they were happy to go to party’s where they didn’t have to clean up the mess or worry about university employees busting them- but to host one was a completely different story

“why on earth would he want to do that?” taehyung inquires and jungkook is also wondering the same thing and was waiting for jimin to reply, but as soon as he starts speaking he can’t hear a word because he sees you walking past not too far from them. he zones out completely as he watches you walk around campus, thinking how strange it is to just casually see you again. without thinking, he’s on his feet jogging towards you before he lost sight of where you were going. his friends turn their heads to see where he was going, utterly confused as to why he was just practically running off.

“goodbye to you too jungkook” hoseok mutters making his friends laugh before they continue their own conversation. meanwhile jungkook just managed to catch up to you, tapping you on the shoulder making you stop in your tracks. you smile upon seeing him, happy that you could just run into at any time or see him whenever you wanted.

“did you run?” you ask with a laugh as you watch him pant a little to catch his breath

“oh no i just- jogged a little. you’re a fast walker” he gets out and you chuckle at him, waiting for him to compose himself before speaking “i just wanted to say hi, ask if you have any plans this weekend?”

“oh well apparently someone in third year is hosting a party, my roommate wants me to go with her” you explain and jungkook was more happy then he thought he would to hear you were going. but given the fact he promised he’d be going to no more party’s, that was surely out the window if you were going to be there

“that’s one my best friends! please go otherwise iam practically going to be stranded if i go, i always get ditched”

“don’t you worry, i’ll be there to keep you company” you assure and for some reason jungkook feels relief, with you back he felt like he could finally begin to enjoy college again now that he actually had a friend he could see often. “i have a lecture so i better be going but, if you’re free later we should hang out?” jungkook was nodding before actually answering with words

“yeah that’ll be great, i’ll text you” you give him a smile before one of your friends come up to you telling you to hurry up and walk to class with her

“see you jay” jungkook could’ve swore his heart leapt at the way you casually used your old nickname for him. he almost forgot about it up until now, now it felt like the smile would never leave his lips. walking back over to his friends, they stopped chatting to stare at him as he sat himself back down- smile even wider then before.

“if that’s what he looks like after one conversation with her can i have her?” jungkook’s smile disappears and he glares at taehyung for his comment making jimin and hoseok laugh

“that would be a no” hoseok chuckles but jungkook doesn’t look too impressed, he knew he didn’t like you that way- of course not. but over his dead body would he let any of his friends get with you, absolutely not. he loved his them sure, he knew none of them would hurt you, but you were his friend and friends were always off limits “how did you too become so close anyway?” hoseok was curious, ever since he became friends with jungkook he always mentioned this girl who was his best friend who he missed. they didn’t even know how you two became friends though despite the fact he always taked about her. at one point it began to annoy all the guys, because he just never shut up about you, any situation they were in he would always just have to say how he had done the same thing with you before or it reminded him of you somehow. but they could see how much you meant to him, so they just let him ramble on.

“we met when we were like, five. i was sad on this school trip because i dropped my ice cream, she gave me hers” jungkook laughed at the memory, he remembers how his mum said after that not a day went by where he wouldn’t talk about this girl who gave him ice cream. from then on their parents got close and always arranged play dates for the two of them and they stayed friends right until she had to leave.

“sounds like a romantic movie synopsis” jimin jokes and once again jungkook is left scowling, the couple jokes showed no sign of stopping with them and jungkook knew they would only continue now he’d be seeing you more often. suddenly, his phone buzzes making him pull it out of his hoodie pocket and looking at the message he smiles slightly

y/n 🌸: nice to see you today. wanna meet at 7 and get some dinner?

jungkook: great seeing you too. that sound great, outside the music department again?

y/n 🌸: perfect meet you there

after messaging he pops his phone back in his pocket and looks up to see his friends staring at him, he gives them a confused look

you were happily applying some finishing touches with your makeup as you got ready for dinner when you friend sits next to you on the floor in front of your mirror.

“excited for your date?” she says making you roll your eyes and screw you mascara back up

“not a date” you reply as you put away your make up and mess around with your hair, making sure it looked nice

“we’ll be careful with jungkook” giving her a side eye you wonder why on earth you’d have to be careful around jungkook. her comment annoyed you a little, he was your childhood best friend and after seeing him again he seemed to be exactly the same as he was when you were kids “he just likes to bang, doesn’t do relationships” now that didn’t sound like him at all, and you knew it wasn’t he had already told you about these silly rumours.

“and how would you know this, heard him say it?” you decided to quiz her, after accusing someone of that you should definitely have absolute proof of it. you remember how upset he seemed when telling you what the girls on campus thought of him.

“well no but-”

“exactly” you cut her off “ive known the boy since i was a kid, he’s honestly a nice guy. don’t believe everything you hear” y/f/n seemed a little surprised at this, it was a known thing around campus that jungkook was the type of guy to just want a one night stand. “right, iam going.” you say your goodbyes and head off to the meeting spot you agreed upon and walking up to it you noticed jungkook was already there and waiting. looking at the time on your phone, you saw it was still ten minutes until seven. turning around, he saw you walking over and smiled.

“here she is” you chuckle at this and give him a little hug as a greeting, how could anyone give you a warning about such a lovely guy?

“have you been waiting long?” that was something that hadn’t changed about him either, always early or on time.

“no, not long. where would you like to eat?” you think for a little but realised you couldn’t really think of anywhere, most places you used to go closed when you left.

“is that diner we used to go to all the time still open?” jungkook seemed to get excited at the mention of the place, remember how you two frequented that diner often after school.

“yes let’s go there” as jungkook began walking, you followed next to him thinking about what your roommate said. you didn’t know whether to bring it up, not wanting to upset him about this situation more then he was.

“you know, my roommate warned me about you earlier” his eyebrows raised a little in surprise at this but he ultimately knew exactly why she did that “i actually got a little annoyed with her, she seemed stumped when i asked her if she actually heard you say you only want one night stands.” the pair of you laughed at this and jungkook felt happy that you were in his corner to defend him. his other friends never came in contact with the people spreading rumours in your year and taeyong seemed to just confirm them to help his roommate get laid

“well that was nice of you but don’t feel the need to defend me, i don’t think those rumours will ever stop” your heart hurt at how sad he looked, it was a known fact that you had a soft spot for him and you probably always would. even the reason you became friends was because you felt upset looking at the crying boy who lost his ice cream.

“no that’s what friends do, especially when the rumours are fucking lies” he was a bit shocked to see you so worked up over it, but you’re a good person you always were so it didn’t surprise him that much.

“my saviour” jungkook jokes and it makes you giggle but deep down he was being honest, he didn’t think there was one time when he was in trouble where you didn’t come to the rescue. he dropped his ice cream? you gave him yours, no one listened to him in class? you listened, people ignored him when he was upset? you comforted him, he had no motivation? you gave it to him- and now people believed rumours about him and you were there defending him. jungkook felt relieved to have you in his life again. you two were still laughing together when you walked into the diner together and taking a seat by the window, exactly where you used to sit

“i can’t believe my eyes” the diner’s owner came straight up to the table, knowing exactly who just walked through door. he would never forget the faces of the two people who filled the place daily. “why do i never see you anymore?” the older man quizzes making the two of you laugh

“someone decided to move away from me” jungkook states, pointing an accusing finger at you, making you roll your eyes.

“well iam glad you’re back, will you be wanting the usual?” honestly you couldn’t believe the man even remembered you, let alone the old order the two of you used to get.

“jungkook, you want the usual?” he nods excitedly at your question and you smiled agreeing as the owner walks to the back to put your order in “how on earth does he remember what we used to get?”

“well seems as the usual order is a large pizza and a side of fries, it shouldn’t be hard to remember” jungkook says and you chuckle “but iam surprised he still remember us, surely we’ve changed a little”

“nah, you’re still a baby face” jungkook gives a fake scowl, narrowing his eyes at you

“i don’t have a baby face” you can’t help the smile that grows on your lips, looking at him pout as it did.

“it’s not a bad thing, you’re cute” jungkook felt his heart leap at the compliment and it took him by surprise, why the fuck was his heart rate picking up over a stupid comment? his mind was working overtime while you didn’t really seem to notice him having an internal freak out. “here comes the drinks, he even remembered that”

“one coke and one milkshake, enjoy kids” the owner himself bought the drinks out and placed them on the table. you thanked him before taking a sip and jungkook leans forward to use the straw sticking out of his milkshake, not trusting his now shaky hands to lift the glass.

“so, tell me about the new friends you’ve made” you ask, wondering who he’s been hanging out with since you left. clearing his throat, he tries to ignore the random nervousness.

“well, i met these six guys after you left. we’re pretty close and then i have my roommate but i don’t see him often”

“ooh seven friends, maybe you could set me up?” jungkook suddenly froze, caught off guard at your words. you on the other hand had a sour taste in your mouth as soon as you said it, something about the thought of being set up made you feel strange. “iam joking, don’t want to be set up” jungkook nodded, a little relieved but he had no idea why he was getting worked up over the thought of you dating. you were just a friend, what was the problem?

“don’t think any of them would be your type, they’d just get on your nerves” he decided to crack a joke, trying to steer the conversation away from setting you up. he noticed that the owner was bringing your food over and he was glad there was a distraction from whatever was going through his mind.

“enjoy your food, and you better be back again after this” the owner orders and the both of you laugh, saying that you will. immediately the two of you dig in, pulling a slice of pizza each.

“this feels like old times” you comment making jungkook smile, between going to the arcade and now the diner- it truly felt like he was a kid again.

“it really does, just reminds me of all the times we were here before”

“jungkook stop!” you yell as you run into the diner to stop your best friend from pulling of your school tie for the millionth time.

“the knot is so tight can you even undo it?” he laughs as he follows you into the diner, sitting down opposing you in a booth. you look down and begin tugging at your school tie, jungkook having pulled it down so much on the walk here that the knot had tightened up.

“you’re so annoying” you huff making him laugh harder before a worker comes over to the two of you, smiling at your antics

“good to see you kids back, let me guess a pizza and fries to share?” the waitress had seen you two come in often, she always worked the early afternoon shift which was perfect timing for when all the kids finished school.

“yes please also a banana milkshake and a coke” jungkook says with a smile and the waitress nods before waking off to prepare the order. “my mum invited you over for dinner this weekend” you excitedly cheered and clapped at this

“her food is so good, iam there”

“excuse me you’re meant to be happy to spend time with me not eat the food” jungkook says and you shrug your shoulders

“i spend too much time with you, the food is more exciting”

“you know my mum is very happy to hear you’re back” jungkook says, the pizza was eaten and plate pushed to the side now the fries rest in between you two as the pair of you eat them.

“is she? did you tell her i was back?” jungkook shakes his head, remembering the phone call he got from his mum the day before

“actually your mum told her, apparently they’ve already had a wine night” you laugh at this, you should’ve known your mum would get back in contact straight away. the pair of your mums might have been even closer then you and jungkook

“of course they have”

“she’s invited you round as soon as you’re free by the way, she’s very excited” jungkook watched you nod at his words as you munched on some fries, he felt his heart melting at the sight. ever since you came back he finally felt like he was having a good time like he was supposed to be at uni.

you barely had time to see jungkook after your dinner together, the work load under you was too big to be having any spare time. the next time you saw him it was the day of namjoon’s party and you found yourself looking for him a soon as you entered the dorm. however the crowd of people all bunched together made it extremely difficult so you stuck to your roommate and followed her to go get a drink.

“are you looking for him?” your roommates question took you by surprise, was it really that obvious?

“who?” deciding to play it dumb didn’t exactly work out as she laughed and shook her head at you, although you don’t know why you were pretending not to know who she was on about- was it really so bad to want to see your long lost childhood bestie?

“you know who”

on the other side of the dorm, jungkook was almost on the top of his toes as he searched around the mountains of bodies in front of him to try and find you making hoseok side eye him.

“oh my god hi y/n!” hoseok loudly saying your name makes jungkook’s head turned sharply in his direction, only to not see you anywhere.

“you’re so whipped” his friend laughs and jungkook roles his eyes, a little bit disappointed that you weren’t actually there

“whatever” jungkook mumbles as he sips his drink when a hand touches his shoulder making him almost jump. for a split second he thought it was you, so he turns with a smile but his lips turn down instantly when he sees a random girl.

“wanna dance?” hoseok can’t help the chuckle that escapes him as he watches his friend get propositioned by a random girl, jungkook almost looked scared

“no, thanks” he turns on his heels instantly, leaving his back to the girl and now hoseok laughs wholeheartedly but jungkook doesn’t find anything funny about the situation. weirdly, all he can think about is you and where the fuck you were. you said you were definitely coming and would keep him company, which he needs now more then ever as all his friends have disappeared and hoseok is one more shot away from running off from him to either hook up or throw up. pulling out his phone he was about to send you a message when a face appears in his gaze as he looks down at the lit up screen. he laughs as he sees you staring up at him and steps back, you chuckle and give him a hug. hoseok eyes the situation and instead of introducing himself, he sneaks off.

“miss me?” you ask stepping away and jungkook smiles down at you, he very much did actually but he wasn’t about to let that information out

“nah not really” he couldn’t help but chuckle as you gasp and place a hand over your chest

“well i guess i’ll be going” you turn but don’t get far when jungkook wraps his hand around your arm to pull you back

“no no, you’re not leaving me alone i only have hos-” jungkook turns but the space his friends occupied is gone and now he just looks insane “apparently i have no one but you now”

“ah just like old times, iam your only friend” the pair of you laugh together but you become very aware of a lot of eyes directly looking at you. it wasn’t everyone around you, but a hefty number of them were looking. “do you wanna get some air?” jungkook seemed to be relieved that you asked and nodded his head before leading the way out. you tried you hardest to stay behind him but with people constantly pushing past or drunkenly stumbling, it was difficult to keep close. huffing as you almost trip for the third time, you squeeze past a tall guy and grab onto the back of jungkook’s hooding making him halt his movements and look down at where you gripped him, his heart beat picking up “sorry i’ve had enough of trying to keep up with your long ass legs” he chuckles at you and shakes his head before moving again, you holding tightly onto him this time. finally making it out the back door and away from the crowd, you let go on jungkook and follow him as he walks all the way to the back of the house where a hammock was hung. it was silent for a little while the pair of you tried to sit on the hammock with falling out.

“iam sorry they were all staring” jungkook broke the small silence and you look to him next you, upset at his apology. it annoyed you that he felt the need to say sorry for something that wasn’t even his fault

“don’t apologise, why do you have to be sorry?”

“people always do when a girl is talking to me, i just don’t want them thinking badly of you. that you’re a fool for spending time with me” jungkook looked so ashamed and it broke you’re heart. unless this was some long con from him, he was exactly the same as when you knew him.

“i don’t care what people think about me jungkook, iam just happy to have my best friend back” a smile decorated his lips as he looked at you, the realisation that you were back by his side seemed so sweet at this moment.

“jungkook’s reeled in another one!” the sound of a voice shouting across the garden makes you and jungkook frown, sure it was drunk rambling but just the thought of someone talking about women in such a way had you rumbled

“at least one guy can, where’s your catch of the day?” you shout back, embarrassing the guy as he stumbles back into the main bulk of the party. it was childish to shout back, but you couldn’t help it. jungkook couldn’t help but lean his head back and laugh, he knew the guy shouting- he was at every party. always got too drunk and too handsy. “was that too childish?” you chuckle as you look over to jungkook next to you

“no, i enjoyed it” smiling to yourself you look back out to the party before looking back over to jungkook.

“will your friends be looking for you? i don’t want to take up all your time” he shakes his head before moving to sit up properly

“there probably too drunk by now to remember who i am. plus id rather catch up with you then pulled around by them, they’re to sociable for me” chuckling at this you take a moment to enjoy the comfortable silence that was growing. your thoughts of the past overtook for a moment and you couldn’t help but reminisce

“isn’t it crazy how we found each other again? i always regretted losing contact with you” slowly jungkook raises his head to look down at you on his side, his gaze so soft.

“i regret it too, i wish i had you here from the start” a smile found its way to your lips as you returned his gaze, the hustle of the party long forgotten

“jungkook? can i ask you a question?”

“of course” you take a beat to think if you wanted to ask this certain thing, but ultimately you decided you needed to

“why did you stop playing football you enjoyed so much? you never gave me a proper answer when we met again” he was taken back by the question, mostly because he didn’t want to answer it. you were the reason, he didn’t necessarily blame you for his lack of ambition to continue playing- but as soon as you weren’t by his side to encourage him, his passion was gone.

“i got old, played like shit” a snort made its way out of your nose at this excuse, jungkook chuckled along already knowing you could see through his bullshit reason.

“you have a natural talent at dodging questions, tell me the real reason” sighing, he looked away from you and to his feet. he wasn’t one to enjoy heart to hearts particularly, but this was you asking and there was no way he could deny you anything you wanted.

“y/n, when you left i tried to carry on- it just wasn’t the same. you were the only one to push me to carrying on playing as many sports as i did, without you there it just- seemed pointless” to say you were shocked was an understatement, you never expected that to be his answer and you felt- guilty. sure you had no choice, your family were moving away, you couldn’t stay even if you wanted to. but you still felt responsible, jungkook was so talented which is why to supported so wholeheartedly

“iam, sorry jungkook”

“it wasn’t your fault”

“that’s not all iam sorry for,” he looked over at you silently, having no idea what you meant

“iam sorry you lost your spark for life , iam sorry those stupid rumours spread and iam sorry i never stayed in contact” his eyes were suddenly glassy, the weight of all he was holding in felt like it suddenly released. “i can see that that twinkle behind those eyes has gone, but you deserve the best jungkook and iam determined to get that spark back to you” he stayed quiet, worried that if he even tired to saying anything his voice would break. “now, let’s get back and actually get this party”

two weeks after the party and in the pitch dark of the evening, jungkook found himself stood across from you on the campus football field. there was the distant sound of a party happening nearby, which is where he would’ve usually found himself in the past, now he couldn’t help but chuckle as he was far from the party and out in the cold watching you fumble around with an american football.

“do you even know the rules?” he asks with a little laugh and you stop messing with the ball and place it under your arm to look up at him

“no” you shrug “but i don’t need to. this is all about you buddy and getting back into the action- catch” you throw the ball at him suddenly making him jump and put his hands out. he grasps the ball momentarily but it slips from him and tumbles onto the floor “see that! you can’t even catch anymore” huffing he leans down to pick up the fallen ball before straightening back up to look at you

“you caught me by surprise! of course i didn’t get it” your hands find your hips as you look at him before shaking your head at him

“oh yeah because on the field when the opposition throws the ball they’re gonna go ‘hey jungkook pre warning iam throwing the ball now, ready to try and intercept,?” he scowls stop you momentarily but you know he’s trying not to smile at your sarcasm “younger jungkook would’ve caught that” you tease making jungkook roll his eyes at you

“younger jungkook also played and trained multiple times every week”

“younger jungkook would not have excuses, then again he was also hotter so-” your sentence is cut short as he light throws the ball at you jokingly and you catch it as you laugh. “ok, jokes aside. does it feel at least nice to be back on the field?” a little smile comes upon his face as he looked around the dimly lit field, quietly thinking about how much time he used to spend playing.

“you know what, it kinda does” he jumps a little when you clap your hands together once after putting the ball under your armpit and begin walking away from the field

“and that’s day one complete let’s go eat” you call out and he quickly rushes to your side as you continue to walk of the field

“wait that’s it? we’re not gonna throw the ball around or anything?” you stop in your tracks making his movement halt too, turning you look up at him

“jungkook, this isn’t about jumping straight back into playing. it’s about how you feel, before now you said you fell out of love it- forcing you to play immediately isn’t my aim. i want you to remember all those feeling you had when you played all the time. now, let’s eat” you finish your little speech and walk away while jungkook stands dumbfounded a little but shakes his head with a smile and runs to catch up with you.

three weeks after the party and jungkook opened his dorm door to find you stood there with a big bag and canvas’ under your arms.

“let’s paint” you say simply before walking away and jungkook rushes to put on some shoes and grab his key before chasing after you. he follows you all the way to some greenery space on campus where you stop and set down your things.

“you could’ve at least give me time to prepare myself” he mumbles out before sitting next to you and you chuckle as you unwrap all the things you had brought

“you need to prepare yourself to paint? weirdo” rolling his eyes he scoots a little closer to you to have a good look at what you were pulling out your bag. “okay! two canvases each, we have normal, water colour and charcoal. take your pick” with that you poured a little water in a dish and opened the water colour set before painting away quietly. looking at you momentarily, jungkook leans forward and grabs the normal paint with a paint brush. looking around him he decides to just paint the tree directly in his line of view. as the brush strokes sweep across the campus he embraces the calm silence that sweeps over the pair of you. it was so peaceful and it took the time to appreciate it, looking quickly over at you he noted how focused you looked. your eyebrows furrowed a little as bring the canvas in your hand a little closer to your face as you work. a slight breeze came, blowing your hair slightly and before he realised it- he was staring at you in a sort of a trance.

“okay iam done!” your voice made him blink a couple times before he quickly looks away, clearing his throat he looks over down at his canvas “wow that’s great” you compliment and he looks up to see you eyeing his work that laid in front of him.

“it’s just a tree” he shrugs but meets your eyes and you don’t look too impressed at his dismissal

“a very well painted and pretty tree” you say sternly making him chuckle, his cheeks warming slightly at your words.

“ok we’ll let me see yours” he leans forward but you put your canvas up to your chest before he gets the chance to see. he raised an eyebrow at you and goes to grab it but you stand making him look up at you “come on, let me see”

“hm iam good” his teeth catch his bottom lip before he stands up, there’s a mischievous glint in his eyes and you narrow yours at him “jungkook” you warn but he smiles before taking a swipe at the canvas and you quickly step away

“hey let me see!” you laugh before running away and without thinking he goes after you, laughing with you as he tries to grab your work but you move it out of his reach as he chases you around.

“oh my god it’s like iam watching a netflix original chick flick” taehyung mutters to yoongi as the pair watch you run around from opposite the greenery

“hm, it’s good to see him like that” yoongi says with a shrug of his shoulders “but my ass is she just his childhood best friend, i bet they’re together by the end of the year” taehyung looks over to his friend and back to the pair of you still chasing each other around like children

“end of the year?” he questions making yoongi look to him “i say within the next two months, bet fifty on it” the older chuckles and puts his hand out to initiate a shake. taehyung smiles and puts his hand in his and the pair shake on it.

“you forget how shy that kid is, really think he’s confessing by two months time?” yoongi asks making taehyung’s smile drop at the realisation “easiest fifty i ever made”

four weeks after the party and you stand opposite jungkook at the club sign up stand with your arms across your chest as you eye each other.

“iam not doing it” he states, with a hint of amusement in his tone. the football volunteer looks at the pair of you across the table as you have your little debate

“it’s just try outs jungkook stop being a baby, you like playing just do it” he tilts his head at you, smile itching to come out. he wondered why you were dragging him out of his dorm at 10am and was not that surprised when you led him all the way to the sign up table.

“i haven’t played in ages y/n, there’s no point i’ll be no good” you scoff taking him by surprise, in reality he was dying to sign his name on that piece of paper but his nerves wouldn’t allow him to do it. he didn’t wanna get out there and make a fool of himself, everyone already had certain thoughts about him and he didn’t wanna add ‘shit football player’ to there list of reasons to talk about him

“i know you want to and who cares if you haven’t played in a while? it’s not the fucking pros, iam signing you up” you conclude before leaning down to the table and picking up a pen but he rushed to snatch the pen from your grip

“okay okay wait!” he rushes out and you look up to him, waiting for him to speak “fine, i will go to try out if… you show me that painting you did last week” there’s a moment of silence as you contemplate this, ultimately you just wanted to see him back out there.

“ok” you sigh “sign your stupid name and i’ll show you when you’re finished with try outs” smiling jungkook scribbles his name and student number on this sheet before placing the pen down and looking back at you, seeing such a genuine smile on your lips- his heart skips a beat making him let out a shaky breath.

“ok breakfast time” he gets out quickly before brushing past you and heading off. you move your feet quickly to catch up with him and the volunteer watches the pair of you before looking away.

“he’s so in love with her” he mentions to his friend sat beside him who nods in agreement. once you catch up to him you pat his back making him look down to you

“thank you for signing up, i know it was properly nerve racking. you’re gonna do great i promise and i’ll be there watching” he didn’t like the way his heart rate raised slightly with excitement at the thought of you coming to watch.

“well thank you for pushing me, i guess iam nervous” he lets out as the pair of you walk onto the campus cafe.

“it’s ok to be nervous actually it’s a good thing” you say as the pair of you sit at a table close to the big windows overlooking the campus

“really?” he questions, sitting opposite you

“of course, look when i came back you didn’t have your little spark that made you- you. to see you have these feelings for the game again, it’s just nice to see” for a moment he just lets your words process, how you let out such nice words so easily took the air out of his lungs.

“hey buddy long time no see!” looking up he sees namjoon with a grin and jin by his side walking over to the table and gets up with a smile to greet them

“what’s up guys?” he says before looking back over to you “oh this is y/n, y/n these are my friends namjoon and jin” he introduces and you stand, giving each a friendly hug before you all sit back down

“wow so you’re the guys who took over my babysitting?” you joke making them laugh and jungkook roll his eyes at you

“it’s nice to finally meet you, jungkook never shut up about-” jin jumps slightly feeling jungkook’s foot meet his knee under the table making him scowl at the younger one

“you know it’s so nice to see jungkook happy again. i noticed your name on the football sign up sheet, good for you man” namjoon says, a proud hand patting jungkook on his shoulder making you smile fondly. you couldn’t help the warm feeling that brewed up watching him talk to his friends about getting back on the field.

“well we’ll be there to cheer you on buddy” jin says and you don’t fail to notice the smile that is planted on jungkooks face

“come on guys it’s only try outs” he try’s to dismiss but no one at the table lets him

“and you’re gonna be the best there, and we will be there to see it” you grab his hand momentarily that rested upon the table and namjoon and jin share a look, fighting the smirks they wanted to let out

“well we better be going, nice to meet you y/n and jungkook- see you out on the field” namjoon says before him and jin get up to leave the cafe.

it was try out day and jungkook couldn’t fight the nerves that were bubbling in his stomach as he walked with his duffle bag to the field. sure, it wasn’t a proper game but he couldn’t fight the feeling that he was just gonna mess the whole thing up and look stupid.

“you look like you’re gonna shit your guts out” he jumped at the sudden voice beside him and looked to find your grin

“gee thanks y/n” you chuckle before grabbing his upper arm to stops his movement

“you’re gonna be great ok? there’s loads of guys out there that have properly never played before and just wanted to try a new club. you’re not going to look stupid, i promise” smiling at you he nods, he wanted to reply with words but he couldn’t pull any together to truly show his gratitude for just how wonderful you’ve been since you came back. In just over a month now he managed to not attended any parties, get his grades up and get back on field. He knew you were the sole reason for all of this, but he just didn’t know how to thank you properly.

“there he is, football coaches wet dream!” jimin yells from quite a distance, making people turn there heads which made jungkook’s cheeks burn up ever so slightly as all his friends made there way to him and you

“really? you’re all here? it’s just try out guys this is embarrassing” jungkook whines making you chuckle and hoseok gasps sarcastically placing his palm over his chest

“we are not embarrassing you little shit- we’re supportive” he concludes before patting jungkook on his back “now you go warm up, the guys are already on the field. we will take care of y/n” jungkook glances at you for a moment and you nod affirmation that it’s fine

“have fun” you smile “iam off to get some embarrassing stories from your friends” rolling his eyes, jungkook walks off onto the field while you walk off with all six of his close friends, remembering he clearly classed his roommate as friend you grew confused as to why he wasn’t here “jungkook mentioned that he had roommate who is his friend but doesn’t see often. why isn’t he here?” you notice them all share silent looks between themselves as if having a telepathic conversation with on another.

“well um, his roommate isn’t the greatest of friends he could have. just wants jungkook to get laid all the time, thinks it’s the greatest fucking thing ever.” yoongi grumbles out the you all take seats just off the field. you frown at this but don’t have time to add some follow up questions

“y/n he doesn’t actually care about jungkook in any other way. in fact, since jungkook hasn’t gone to any parities with him for while, he’s basically dropped him” taehyung goes onto explain and you take a moment to process. maybe that’s why jungkook said he never saw him often? if all this roommate cared about was partying and sex, then he definitely would be avoiding jungkook at this point in time.

“what a fucking prick” you mutter out and the guys are thrown off slightly before laughing. in all honestly half of them have never met you and they knew just how much you meant to jungkook. they didn’t wanna risk telling you anything that he didn’t want you to know, but with the way you’re talking and so easily taking his side- you’d definitely fit in well

“oh he is, in all honesty we reckon that he just got close to him in the first place because he was jealous of him. i mean, everyone was talking about jungkook when he started- they completely loved him” namjoon explained and this had you thinking. jungkook had such a bad time because of those stupid rumours and he was actually loved at first by everyone? it must have been hard for him to know who actually wanted to be friends and who just wanted to say they knew him.

“well at least he has all of you guys, i can tell how much you love him” the all smile fondly at you before a loud whistles blows making you all turn your attention to the field

“he has you too now, we you love him just as much” jimin says nicely before turning to try and spit jungkook on the field.

an hour later and all of you rushed over to jungkook as the coach dismisses everyone. “you were great out there! it’s like you never left man” namjoon slings an arm around jungkook as the younger drinks a hefty amount out his water bottle, panting in between sips

“my stamina is so fucking bad now” you lean up on your toes slightly and slap the back of his head, not too hard making jump and whip to face you

“stop being so hard on yourself and take the compliment” the boys chuckle at the scene in front of them

“i like her, let’s keep her” jin let’s out making you smile while jungkook gathers his things up before slinging his bag over his shoulders before you all begin walking off together.

“how about we all grab a bite to eat?” you suggest and you never thought a simple sentence would get six guys so fired up in an instance. they all muttered between them about what to eat and where to go- it sparked quite a little debate. while they all discussed jungkook pulls you back behind them a little and you look to him.

“do you really think i did okay out there? i wasn’t to rusty? didn’t do anything stupid?” if he didn’t seem so evidently worried you would’ve slapped him again but you knew it wasn’t time to be messing around

“jungkook you were really good, i know it was just simple practices and all but you really shined out there.” he smiles at you and seems to go to say something else but someone else get ahead of him

“we’re getting pizza losers come on” jimin shouts from the little distance that was created between the pair of you and the group.

“you know you still haven’t shown me you’re painting?” a week after try outs your were sat opposite jungkook on your bed . both of your legs cross crossed. it had been a couple hours since he first arrived, the time filled with different youtube videos, snacks and games. the current form of entertainment, uno

“i was hoping you wouldn’t remember” you mutter as you place a green five onto of the pile in-between the pair of you

“what is with you not wanting to show me? you are good at art, always have been. you took all of those classes” jungkook says as he places down a green seven onto the pile and you shrug, it wasn’t about the quality of the painting more of the meaning

“ugh okay fine” you say before placing your cards face down on your bed before getting up “don’t look at my cards” you point a finger in his direction and he laughs before you turn and begin to rummage your desk drawers. grabbing it from the back you close the drawer back up and turn back to him, eyes meeting his clearly excited face. “look away” you say handing it to him, facing down. he smiles as flips it as you sit back down, his face was hard to read but jungkook was stunned as his eyes met an outline portrait of his own face made of an array of bright colours with a couple of paint splashes on the edges of the canvas. but right where his pupils should be, we’re little stars. “i was going to give it to you in a couple months time, you know when you got your little spark back and fell back in love with the small things in life again. but after seeing you at tryouts i don’t mind giving it to you now”

you’re explanation floored him, he felt his heart tighten in his chest. he knew he had good friends but no one had ever done something so… so thoughtful.

“y/n this is, this great i love it. thank you”

“well you’re very welcome, now back to business” you place one of your two cards down onto the deck, a green two “uno!” you exclaim with one card left in your hand.

“hm, don’t get too excited” jungkook let’s out before placing a plus two card onto the deck making you groan in turn making him laugh. picking up two from the spare pile you look at the three you having while jungkook decides his next move

“can i ask you something?”

“you just did” rolling you’re eyes at him you watch as he shifts through his couple of cards and you decide to continue

“how come you stopped going to the campus parties?” the question took him back, he hadn’t really thought much about partying since you came back into his life- finding a night with you way more fun then any party he’s attended here

“no reason really. i wanted to stop a while back, just lost interest. all they really involved was taeyong bringing girls to me and trying to hook me up, i grew bored of it” you nod at this as jungkook places down a colour card and say a quick ‘yellow’.

“and he’s your roommate right?” he nods to this and you take a moment to look at your cards before placing a yellow one onto the pile. “iam guessing he isn’t happy with your lack of attendance?” you ask but it comes across as more of a statement then a question

“yeah, he’s been moping around the dorm whenever i see him. although last week he stopped speaking to me all together” you raise your eyebrows slightly in shock at this, sure he could miss his friend and roommate attending parties with him. but to stop speaking to him at all because of it? that seemed a bit extreme

“does that upset you?” jungkook shrugged at this, before placing a yellow eight onto the ever growing pile in the middle of the pair of you, leaving him with three cards in his hands.

“not really, we weren’t exactly close to begin with. plus i have you and the guys, more then enough for me” you were happy to here this, honestly you didn’t want your return to ruin any existing friends he already had. placing down a green eight you claim uno once again as you you were back one card

“for fuck sake i changed the colour for a reason” he grumbles making you laugh as he picks up three cards from the untouched deck before managing to place a green five onto the deck

“well i changed it back for a reason too” you say before slamming down a pick up four, the last card in your hand “i win!”

“how nice of you to separate from your mrs’ to join us” jungkook glares at taehyung’s comment, but didn’t miss the beat his heart took at you being called his. well that’s new. he chose to ignore it

“don’t make me regret joining you” he grumbles as he plants himself on the grass, in the circle all the boys had created.

“stop teasing him” namjoon says in his defence and jungkook gives a smile as appreciation

“and stop ass kissing so you can be the best man at their wedding” another beat was skipped in his heart at taehyung’s words and it was beginning to annoy him, his heart shouldn’t be so responsive about a joke of him marrying his best friend.

“i will be the best man so no one get your hopes up” jimin joins in and everyone laughs, not jungkook though- he takes a deep breath.

“where is y/n today?” hoseok asks and all eyes go to jungkook

“she’s at a lecture right now” he mumbles, hoping the subject of you would change so his heart would stop beat so damn fast

“will she join us after?” yoongi’s question didnt aide the hoped for subject change jungkook was wanting.

“should be ending now, could ask her if you want” jungkook suggests, he was going to ask to see you today anyway, as he did everyday

“i actually have plans with her today” jungkook’s head shoots to taehyung, he what? his shock was apparently evident because his friend explains “bumped into her the other day, she takes english like me so gonna help her study, we’re going to that diner down the road” he shrugs as jungkook remains silent, sounds a lot like a study date to him- he didn’t like it. he wasn’t too sure why he didn’t like it, but he just didn’t.

“not you stealing his wife” jimin mutters, an attempt at a joke but the death stare he received from jungkook made his smile drop.

“hi guys!” a voice struck through the awkward tension and all heads turn to you coming towards them. everyone gives a small greeting but jungkook remains silent, but gives you a smile. how could he not as you squeeze yourself next to him in the circle, looking ever so pretty

pretty?

his smile dropped at his thoughts, his gazed dropped to your hand on his thigh as you dropped next to him- using it to stable yourself. his heartbeat picked up, his cheeks flushed, his mind raced. his friends began to chatter around him but he couldn’t hear a word, he knew now, knew that he liked you- more then a friend and thought terrified him. a thousand scenarios played in his imagination at once;

you finding out and never talking to him again

him confessing and you laughing in his face and never talking to him again

you finding out and dropping him with no further explanation and never talking to him again

him confessing and-

“jungkook you listening?” your voice pulls his attention and he looks at you, why were you so fucking pretty?

“he definitely wasn’t listening” hoseok laughs as does everyone else but he doesn’t, he feels sick. the look of concern on your face doesn’t help either, god you were always so thoughtful.

“i-i need to go do something” he mumbles quickly before standing and walking off, but it seemed he just couldn’t escape you, as you were not on his trail as he walked into the nearest building

“hey jungkook, what’s wrong?” he didn’t stop, no he picked up his pace breathing hard while looking “careful!” he didn’t have time to register anything before you had him pushed up against a wall, hands on his waist, body pushed up against him. a flock of students rushed past them as you held him, almost protecting him as they ran by. his breathe got caught in his throat as he looked down at you just as you turned your head and looked up at him. jungkook became hyper aware of your body against his and your hands tight on his sides, his thin shirt the only thing in between them and his skin. slowly, you pulled away and he let out a heavy sigh before pushing himself off the wall, you were still too close.

“i- uh”

“spill, you’re acting weird” he couldn’t get any words out, he tried but his mind couldn’t come up with anything and an uncomfortable silence grew thick.

“oh god i don’t want to talk about that lame excuse for a man, can’t believe i have to deal with him as a roommate” a familiar voice came from nearby and jungkook lifts his head and spots taeyong coming down the hallway. you followed his gaze before turning back

“is that your roommate?” jungkook does nothing but nod, still processing the words he heard from the boys mouth. suddenly he’s being pushed into a nearby door and into a tiny cupboard before you join him. there was barely space for a mop in it and he blushed as you squeezed in front of him, your ass pressing against his front. you closed the door just in time as taeyong stood in front of it, there were small slits in the door meaning you could hear clearly and see most of the outside.

“y/n what”

“shh” you whisper quietly and lean forward to hear better, only making your ass press into the blushing boy even more and he couldn’t even retreat anywhere.

“man i can’t believe you started those rumours about him and he still doesn’t know it was you” jungkook’s eyes widen slightly and you return the look as you turn your head to him before turning back to listen

“still thinks it was that girl he hooked up with the first time.” taeyong scoffs before continuing “he should be thanking me though, gave him ass on tap” you rolled your eyes at this but jungkook remained frozen, his roommate spread those rumours about him? he’s the reason no girl on campus wanted anything serious with him?

“mate you only did that because people started to like him more than you”

“yeah well now they think he hates relationships and think girls are nothing more then a good fuck, i made sure of it” with that the voices faded and you slowly opened the door before stepping out but jungkook remained stood.

“let’s go jungkook” you spoke softly but the look on your face screamed that you were furious. slowly he steps out and you close the door behind him “how fucking dare he, what kind of person does something like that? we’re going straight to the school board and we’re reporting his ass”

“y/n, i don’t want to think about this right now. can we just, go do something?” your heart broke, he sounded so hurt so betrayed and it pained you to see it. the whole ordeal made jungkook push his new feelings aside, he just needed your company right now.

“iam moving dorms” they were the first words jungkook had spoken to taeyong for a long time. he thought his roommate was just being dramatic and ignoring him for ditching parties, but he was wrong. without jungkook’s attendance he couldn’t push girls in his direction and buff up his made up stories. it only took a couple of days for his request to switch to be accepted and he was glad for it because every time he saw taeyongs face he just wanted to bash the living shit out of him

“woah what you talking about buddy?” jungkook’s eye twitched at the audacity of him, how two faced could one person be?

“iam not your buddy” taeyongs facarde dropped slightly, his fake smile turning into a frown. “don’t ever come anywhere near me again, or i swear to god i will beat the fuck out of you”

“what the fuck is your problem?” jungkook’s patience was running very thin with each word that came out of the mans mouth. he had his days of being sad and now he was just angry.

“hm let’s have a think, what could possibly be my problem with you?” he mocks thinking as taeyong just stares at him, jaw locked “oh i know, maybes it’s you talking behind my fucking back and ruining my reputation” shock spilled across his ex roommates face but jungkook was finished with this conversation, he walked l to his room to pack up his things- empty boxes already there waiting to be filled. but taeyong didn’t seem to be finished as he followed him

“so what i said some things about you? gave you some good lays didn’t i?” jungkook closed his he’s momentarily in frustration at the man speaking behind him. god how did he stand him for this long? calling human women lays? was he always this infuriating? “not my fault that slag came into your life and cockblocked you” jungkook’s back straightens. his hands turn into fists.

“get the fuck away from me, and keep her name out of your mouth” he gets out through gritted teeth not turning to face the the man because he didn’t think he could hold back if he looked at him. taeyong mocks a laugh

“how good is that fucking pussy for you to be whipped so badly?” he whipped around and before he knew what he was doing his fist connected to taeyong’s face making him stumble backwards, his had flew to his cheek before he chuckled with no humour behind it. he lunged forward at jungkook and the two began to throw punches, knocking things over in the room as they did so. taeyong grabs jungkook by his shirt “you think you’re so fucking perfect don’t you! you’re so pathetic!” jungkook grips his shoulders, shoving him off before pushing him again making taeyong stumble into a desk making everything on it tumble to the ground, including the painting you had done of him making loud several bangs. breathing hard as he looks at the fallen painting, he exits the rooms in a hast, face hurting and blood trickling down his cheeks. he was sure he’d ended up killing the guy if he carried on so left making sure to slam the door behind him and heading straight across campus with one place in mind. he ignores all the stares thrown his way from other students as he stomps into the girls dormitory and straight to your door. he knocks a couple times before you open the door

“jungkook oh my god!” he manages a smile at your shock before he’s pulled in by you and lead straight to your room “sit” you order and he listens, planting himself on your bed immediately. you leave momentarily before returning with a small first aid box in your hands and sit next to him. opening your supplies instantly. “you look awful” he lets out a laugh before wincing, the cut on his lip stinging. you put some liquid onto a cotton swab before gently gripping his face, turning him to look at you. he takes a sharp intake of breath as you dab the swab onto his lip but as you continue he just stares at you. blinking slowly he takes you in, pyjama shorts tight on your thighs and crop top snug on your torso.

he thinks as you work on his face, about the blind date you went on, about your speech declaring to help him bring his sparkle back, to your painting you did of him. every single moment since you came back was dedicated to him, to helping him enjoy everything he fell out of love with since you’d left. football, painting everything you did was to help him fall back in love with the life he lost when you went away, but he realised something in that moment as he watched you wipe cream onto his wounds. it wasn’t those things that he was in love with, it was you. he didn’t love playing football, he loved seeing you cheer for him on the sidelines. it wasn’t painting that he loved, it was you painting beside him that he loved. you cared for him, you listened to him, you wanted his opinion. jungkook realised in that single moment that everything that made him feel alive ever since he was a kid, all came back to you and suddenly his feelings didn’t scare him like they did before, they ignited something in him. they ignited want and desire but also a feeling of warmth and peace.

it happened in the blink of an eye, he leant down and smashed his lips into yours, hand coming up to hold the back of your head- fingers threading through your hair. you dropped the swab, hand fumbling on the bed making the tin fall to the ground, the contents spilling onto the floor. jungkook pulls back slightly, lips still hovering over yours and you could feel his breath.

“iam sorry i-” you didn’t let him finish, leaning forward planting your lips on his again in a rushed motion making him groan. his hand reaches down, gripping your thigh before lifting you onto his lap without breaking the kiss. you gently bite onto his bottom lip making him gasp from the slight sting of his cut but also the feeling of your teeth digging into him which allowed you to stick your tongue into his mouth. his hands moved up your thighs before grazing your ass then trailed up gripping your waist, pulling you into him harder. his touch set your skin alive in a phantom burning sensation making you grind into him, his head falls back breaking the kiss and he whines quietly at your movement. and it was the best fucking noise you have ever heard. your lips move to his neck making him fall back on the bed and you follow him, attacking the spot underneath his ear “fuck, y/n” he whispers and you have to suppress a groan that’s bubbling in your throat. his grip tightens on your waist, and you feel how hard he is underneath you, you’re shorts not creating much of a barrier. you’re satisfied with the mark you leave behind, knowing you’ve wanted nothing more then to claim this man ever since you were teenagers. licking a strip from the base of his neck to the mark beneath his ear he shivers and you immediately go back to his lips before he leans his head into your bed

“this was not one of the scenarios that i thought about happening” he pants and you chuckle at him

“you’ve made up scenarios about this?” he suddenly groans in embarrassment

“i shouldn’t have said that”

“what if i said i made up scenarios too?” you ask and his eyes snap to yours “so many times” you lean and whisper directly into his ear and he moans “always thought about this, you under me, me under you. but with less clothes” jungkook’s sighs before you’re suddenly flipped over making you gasp as he lies between your legs.

“if you don’t shut that pretty mouth of yours iam gonna come before any of our clothes are off”

waking up with the sunlight hitting his face, jungkook groans as his eyes flutter open. he’s confused for a second as his surroundings isn’t his dorm but he instantly smiles when he remembers where he is. turning over his eyes meet you, blankets wrapped around you as you face his direction. you were still asleep, hair sprawled on the pillow, sighing he runs his hand on your waist before it moves to your back. you sigh in your sleep before shuffling into his direction, his arms instantly go to hug you into him and your arm goes over his waist making his heart leap. he felt the happiest he’s been since you left, this was the best outcome he could’ve asked for. jungkook had no idea where the confidence came from to kiss you last night, he just couldn’t hold it back now he knew his true feelings. his attention drew to you as he felt you stir awake, looking down your eyes open slowly.

“morning” he mumbles and you sigh before moving onto your back to stretch

“good morning” you let out before yawing and coming back to cuddle into him, making his heart flutter

“i guess we should talk about last night”

“sorry, don’t want to date just wanted to see if the rumours were true” jungkook leans away to look at you but kept his arms around your body “kidding” you say before running your hands down his chest

“you’re so mean” he grumbles making you laugh as you move your hands to his neck, pulling him back to you. he moves down and snuggles his head into you neck, allowing you to cuddle him as you run your fingers through his hair making his eyes close

“isn’t it weird that this doesn’t feel weird?” you ask making him grin. he agreed, nothing about this felt wrong it felt so right.

“iam just going to count everything before this as foreplay” you laugh at this and jungkook joins you

“that was some interesting foreplay” sighing you drop your hand to his shoulder but quickly jungkook grabs your hand and brings it back to his hair, smiling you continue playing with it “so what do you want now? for us i mean?” you were worried about the response, you couldn’t help it. you knew exactly what you wanted from this but you weren’t too sure about jungkook

“isn’t it obvious? iam obsessed with you y/n, iam annoyed i didn’t realise it sooner” your eyes widen at the information but he doesn’t stop “no one has ever meant as much to me as you do, everything you’ve tried to make me love again since you’ve been back doesn’t amount to you. i can’t believe i’ve never noticed it before, my life went to shit went we fell out of contact and it instantly got better when you came back. i need you in my life y/n, i really don’t know what i would do if you wasn’t” your breathing stilled momentarily, you heartbeat heavy. god you felt the exact same way, your life abroad was boring and empty without him. it was the main reason you came back with your parents when they said they were returning

“jungkook, i feel the same about you. you’re one of the most interesting people i’ve ever met. you deserve so much and there isn’t one day that goes by where i wouldn’t drop everything for you” his chest tightened, why had it take them so fucking long to get to this point? he didn’t know but now you were at that point and he was sure that he was never going to let you slip from him again.

jungkook smiled as you walked hand in hand to the greenery on campus to meet with the rest of the boys.

“oh my god it’s happening” taehyung gasps, holding his hand over his heart making you laugh as jungkook sits down and pulls you to sit between his legs. the whole group began clapping making you hide behind your hands but jungkook simply laughed, although a red tint did rise on his cheeks. after they’re done yoongi holds out some money in taehyung’s direction and he happily takes it, making everyone look at them

“did you bet on them getting together?” namjoon asks and yoongi nods making jungkook roll his eyes

“i said by the end of the year, he said by two months. i didn’t count on his shy ass actually making a move” yoongi explains making you chuckle but you stop when you see the other boys begin to swap money between them

“you all fucking bet on us?” you ask in disbelief and they all shrugged with smiles on their faces.

“you’re all horrible friends” jungkook mumbles but that only makes them smile more.

“we’re the best, and in fact i was the one who set you two up on that blind date. you probably wouldn’t even know you went to the same college if it wasn’t for me” hoseok says smugly but you making a noise making everyone turn to you and jungkook look down at you from behind

“y/n?” he asks and you smile

“actually i saw you at a party before the date. i was pretty sure it was you but i wasn’t too sure, i kept staring at you, probably looked creepy as fuck” you chuckle at the memory but jungkook furrows his eyebrows in thought, but jimin beat him to it

“yes i remember! that was you?”

“you saw me?” you asked, horrified you had been caught out

“it was pretty obvious you just stood there staring at him” he laughs and you groan, leaning back into jungkook who’s arms wrap around your front

“i can’t believe that was you, if only i turned around” he thinks out loud as everyone else begins to chat separately.

“i kind of prefer the way we met again, it was unexpected. makes for a good story, almost as if it was fate” jungkook never thought he believed in fate but right now, he just might. and as he looked around at all of his friends, and new girlfriend, laughing with each other he felt content. sure he had fallen back in love with all the little things he used to, but more importantly he realised he loved you all those years ago- and he fell right back in love the moment you turned around in front of that music building when he saw for the first time again.

#bts fanfic #jungkook #taehyung #jimin #seokjin #bts imagine #namjoon #yoongi #hoseok #jungkook friends to lovers #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #jungkook oneshot

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parkjayssi · 4 months

Text

✦ PAC : ONCE UPON A FAIRYTALE

which romance trope do you and your fs belong to?

like & rb if resonates i'm a beginner in tarot so please take everything with a grain of salt it is a general reading so only take what resonates

WARNING: a bit of nsfw in pile 1, nothing too explicit

🔥 | pile one!

THE TROPE : ENEMIES-TO-LOVERS / RIVALS

if you got this pile, goddamn, i shall say the sexual tension is high af. this trope isn't necessarily how you'll feel about your fs but it is for the small percentage of people out there. as for the others, it is merely small rivalry, not anything major. or maybe you both meet through or during some kind of competition. even a school test, yes.

you both are so bound by your duties/work and have a want to do the best. this is exactly the trait that will bring you both together. there will be ups and downs due to either/both of you being stubborn and sticking to your own plans. communication is definitely necessary and so is understanding. high possibility that you two might also break up because of this huge ego problem that either of you might have in order to rekindle.

as for the bond between you two, let's just say you both are willing to devour each other. i'm not kidding. interpreting the shufflemancy messages really said "i want you, but i can't admit that because i have a huge ego." like they want you so bad, it's not funny (and so do you). even during the small squabbles lies this high need of just riling each other to see if you both end on the bed or not-

SONGS CHANNELLED FOR THE TROPE:

🌟 | pile two!

THE TROPE : SOULMATES

whole. some. that's it. this is something the majority of this pile would be with their fs. for some of you, twin flames too. but this pile is beautiful because you would feel that your fs/ you is/are a shooting star, fulfilling the wish to be loved, genuinely.

it feels like everything was planned from the start and you both wouldn't regret it. either of you might have been going through a whole ass storm in life before an umbrella magically appears. this storm is meant to be a trial to build a strong foundation together in order to face it head on.

as for the bond, it's really sweet and warm. it's like those indie romance movies where just a glance between the leads would send a warm tingle in your body. you both are so supportive of each other and make sure to take care of each other. it feels like spending time near the fire on a cold evening. my favourite pile <333

SONGS CHANNELED FOR THE TROPE :

💓 | pile three!

THE TROPE : BLIND DATE / LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

a new beginning, and a perfect one at that hmm? that's the perfect trope for you and fs, pile 3. getting over an ex probably seems a major theme here, or just getting over something and starting something new and exciting. it screams "right person at the right moment"

the best part is right off the bat, sparks fly high and it feels more than a crush even if you've known the person for a single day/date. not to mention, the majority of your fs's are charming, their personality makes you dive down a deep hole, damn. but being rational is necessary and taking everything slow seems to be the best option, otherwise the hole might suck either of you to darkness.

as for the bond, you both might be a bit secretive but it's honestly better this way. you both are willing to listen to each other's opinion and make sure to encourage each other. can't really pick much up since both of you like to keep your private life a secret. but nonetheless, you both are adorable <3

SONGS CHANNELED FOR THE TROPE:

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ghostboneswrites2 · 15 days

Note

I really resonated with Daryl x abused reader could you maybe do one where the reader doesn’t let their past define them and shows little signs of abuse like they’re super cheery and happy and doesn’t let their past get them down and but maybe reader has a ptsd attack by Daryl after he confronts her about being so happy especially in an apocalypse and they just realize they relate to each other even if they’re personalities are so drastically and Daryl just comforts reader 🫂

The Painted Bunting

Era: Greene Farm

Summary: Daryl is paired with you on the search for Sophia and snaps at you after growing tiresome of your seemingly endless kindness.

Note: No more laptop for now since the cord broke so I hope you’ll all forgive the lack of my usual post formatting :(

Warnings: profanity, mentions of past abuse, grumpy sassy asshole Daryl (the man we originally fell in love with)

Banner credits on this post

Shining hair in the rays of the sun, an infectious laugh, a beaming grin that never seemed to dissipate. A glowing beacon in the dark. That was what you were. And, admittedly, it got under his skin a little, so Daryl tended to avoid you. You weren’t oblivious to it, but you accepted it for what it was. After all, you couldn’t win them all, right?

You had always been that way; soft, gentle, graceful, kind. If you had never let the past change that for you, you certainly wouldn’t let present day events change it, either. Maybe the world had become a nightmare, but that didn’t mean you had to be one too.

Daryl thought that what really gritted his teeth about you was that through everything that had happened, you never changed a single bit. Not like the others had; not like he had.

After the world fell, after the camp by the quarry was overrun, after the CDC, after Sophia had gone missing, you remained exactly the same. For all of the afore mentioned, Daryl found you to be one of the most vexing people he ever had the displeasure of interacting with, second only to Shane, who could have easily been traded off for his own brother, Merle.

Needless to say, he was peeved at the idea that you were sent on search duty with him after he hurt himself in the ravine. Rick decided a buddy system would be beneficial to all of the search party participants, and you volunteered to tag along, because of course you did.

You weren’t so much looking forward to spending so much one on one time with the man, yourself. You didn’t necessarily have an issue with him, but you were all too aware of the issue he seemed to have with you. Really, you couldn’t relate to him at all. Not everyone around camp was perky and sweet, and rightfully so, but Daryl was such a brooding presence and you just couldn’t put yourself in that frame of mind.

The two of you had set out just after dawn and the hours ticked by as you made friendly conversation and Daryl occasionally offered you a measly grunt in response.

“Do you think we’ll find anyone out here?” You asked. “I mean, aside from Sophia. I know we’ll find her.”

“Pro’ly better if we don’t find nobody else.” Was his first verbal response all day. You shrugged.

“I don’t know. Could be good. I’m sure there are people who could really use some help.”

“Ain’t our problem.” He argued. “Gotta look out for our own. The hell you worried about helpin’ strangers for when we ain’t even found the little girl we’re after?”

“Oh, no.” You chuckled nervously. “It’s not that I was just —“ You cut yourself off, sensing an oncoming ramble. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Mm.” He hummed, pausing his footsteps to take a breath and scan his surroundings. After a moment, he continued forward, and you followed without question . Admittedly, you had no clue how to track, so if anything you were there in case he got hurt.

“So, if someone needed your help… You wouldn’t help?” You asked innocently.

He whipped around to face you, the aggression behind his motion drawing you to a dead stop.

“The hell’s your problem, huh?” He snapped. You blinked. “It’s the end of the goddamn world and you’re askin’ me about some hypothetical moral dilemma? Let me tell you somethin’, girl; ain’t no damn morals in the apocalypse. Ain’t no more law and order! It’s just us,” he paused, sending an arrow through the skull of a walker that had crept up behind you. You flinched and turned to watch its carcass thud on the forest floor. “And them.” He concluded.

“I—I was just making conversation.” You mumbled timidly.

“Why? It’s not a social call! We’re out here to find that little girl. This is why I didn’t need no damn babysitter.” He complained.

“I was just trying to be nice.” You defended.

“Nice?” He scoffed. That simple word seemed to trigger something in him as his eyes lit up with aggravation. “Don’t you get it? It ain’t about bein’ nice anymore. It’s about survival. Got dead people standin’ up and eatin’ people and you’re worried about bein’ nice. Walkin’ around passin’ out water and food and gigglin’ with everybody like we ain’t got a bunch o’ dead bodies stumblin’ around us just waitin’ to take a bite out.”

Maybe it was the way he raised his voice, or the way his eyes shot flaming daggers of fury right through your chest, or the way he threw his arms down and spat words at you like you were some puny, wretched little thing. You didn’t know what it was, but somewhere in the whirlwind of heated exchange, his voice slowly blended together with the other voice — the one that still lived in the back of your mind and ate away at you every day.

The voice that belonged to your own father, the one person who struck true, genuine fear in you. Before you knew it, that old sensation of real terror, the one you’d buried somewhere deep inside you and covered with cement, was breaking free and engulfing you.

You were frozen, like a fawn under the scrutinizing gaze of a predator. The humid air felt like a thick paste as you struggled to gulp it down and catch a breath. At first, Daryl felt inclined to criticize your tears as a show of weakness, fragility, inability to handle a little raise of the voice. He quickly noticed, however, that this was no simple burst of reactionary emotions. No, this was something much deeper and it was rattling you to the core. There was a distant look in your wide eyes, one that he came to recognize, even if it took him a minute.

He shifted on his feet, scanning you, unsure how to intervene.

“Hey.” He eventually called out, but it was clear his voice wasn’t reaching you. This was the final piece of confirmation he needed. You were having an episode, the kind he experienced a few times when he first got out of his father’s abusive home.

He sighed and grabbed your trembling shoulders. You jumped but you didn’t flee or strike out. His touch seemed to dry you out and shrivel you up like a raisin. You shrank into yourself, hyperventilating.

“C’mon.” He said softly, ushering you done to your knees. “Hey. Ya gotta breathe.”

Your breathe only became more shallow and forced. Tears poured down your cheeks as your chest got tighter.

“Just breathe. That’s the only way it’s gonna stop.” He urged. He went to grab your wrists but you panicked, snatching your arms away and falling down on your back.

“No! Get away! You can’t do this anymore! I’m not a little kid!” You cried out.

You were making quite a bit of noise by this point, between the gasps for air and the sobs. He crouched over you and grabbed your shoulders.

“(Y/N), ya ain’t there anymore. Wherever it is, it’s gone. In the past. It’s just you and me right now, and we ain’t there. We’re here.” He soothed, hoping his voice could find you somewhere in the abyss. “Just listen. Ya hear that? It’s a Painted Bunting. Look,” he pointed up into a tree at a bright multicolored bird, similar in its beauty to a parrot, only much smaller. “It’s right up there. Ya see it?”

Your breathing had started to slow down now, those shallow inhales finally reaching a little deeper within. Your eyes lazily followed his finger to the bright little bird singing a flute-like melody.

“Ya see it?” He asked again. You managed to nod once, still holding your arms tightly to your chest as you laid flat on the bed of leaves and twigs. He took a moment to see you, to really take you in, and he realized you were beautiful. Not just in the way a pretty girl with a nice personality was beautiful, but in a way that left so much of who you really were unsaid.

“Just watch it.” He whispered, glancing back up at the feathered creature, hoping it would stick around long enough to bring you back down to earth. “They take two years to look that pretty. Did ya know that?” He asked, glancing back down at you. Your eyes were still on the bird, but you shook your head no. “Yeah. Only the males, too.” He added. “Otherwise, they’re just kinda greenish and yellowish.”

Once your chest was rising and falling with a steady rhythm, you finally looked over at him. Humiliation began to set in. You quickly sat yourself up and brushed the dead foliage away from your clothes and hair.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled. “That hasn’t happened in a long time.”

“‘S okay.” He shrugged, standing himself back up as well. “Happens.”

“Yeah, we’ll, it shouldn’t. Not nowadays.”

“Can’t help it when it does.” He assured you. “I get it.”

“Maybe I should head back.” You suggested.

“We both can. If ya wanna. It’ll be dark soon anyways.”

“I don’t wanna make you lose your trail or.. Ya know.” You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.

“Nah. Ain’t no use after dark, anyways. We’d just be stumbling in circles and bumpin’ into each other.” He insisted, contrastingly soft in comparison to before your episode.

“Oh. Right.” You nodded. Just as you got ready to turn back toward the farm, he cleared his throat.

“Ya wanna talk about it?”

“About what?” You turned back to him. He shifted his weight anxiously, chewing at the inside of his cheek. Offering an ear to listen was at least ten yards outside the perimeter of his comfort zone. “About that?” You asked. “That was nothing. Just something stupid that happens sometimes. That’s all.”

While his tone was much kinder and warmer than before, yours was cold, dull, and tired. Those episodes could take a lot out of a person, and he was no stranger to that fact.

“Sometimes it helps.” He said. “Talkin’ about it. Makes it a little less…” He trailed off, searching for the word he wanted. “Less, uh… Consuming.”

“It never gets less consuming.” You argued.

“It does.” He insisted.

“And how would you know?” You asked, impatience lacing your words.

“I used to get ‘em too.” He admitted. “Been awhile but… I just get it. That’s all.”

You studied him. In all the weeks you’d spent around the man, you’d never seen him so genuine, or really so open. He never seemed to look at you like another person. You were always just another load on his shoulders.

“My dad.” You finally spoke. He nodded.

“Me too.”

“I’m sorry.” You sympathized.

“Me too.” He agreed.

“We should go.” You sighed, turning away again.

This time you didn’t wait for him, you just started walking, until he called out behind you; “‘M sorry.” You stood still, but you didn’t look back. He knew he had your attention, though, and he knew he had to say something else. “I know I did it this time. I shouldn’t’ve yelled at ya like that.”

“It’s okay. Maybe you were right.”

“Nah.” He shook his head, taking slow steps to catch up to you. “I wasn’t. It’s good. Ya didn’t let none of that shit make ya bitter. Keep it that way. Else you’ll end up a grumpy redneck.” He joked. You suppressed the small smile that tugged at the corner of your lips.

“Maybe the grumpy rednecks of the world got it figured out.” You said, walking again once you felt him catch up.

“Nah. I don’t know shit about shit.” He admitted, eliciting a small laugh from you. You shook your head.

“I don’t think anyone does.” You reasoned.

On the hike back to the Greene farm, you two shared some light banter, some stories of the past, some laughs and extended looks. He grew finder of you that day. The critical glares he’d send you from a distance were replaced with admiration and respectful nods. You’d often catch him looking and flash him a big smile, waving at him before you attention was drawn elsewhere.

You both learned that maybe the two of you were differently colored fruit, but you grew from the same tree, and you weren’t so different after all. And, that sentiment was never lost or forgotten. It carried with you for as long as you two knew each other.

Taglist || Masterlist

tags: @kissmeunicornbaobei @thesadcatt0 @clairealeehelsing @duckybird101 @tmntfixationxreader @ryoujoking @blackvelveteen1339 @yondus-girl @ladylincoln @sunshinebug9 @saylum559 @yoowhatthefuck @duffmckagansbandana @celtic-crossbow @virginsexgod69 @dazzling-roaring-20s @l0kilaufeys0n7 @uhnanix

#daryl dixon #daryl x reader #twd daryl #the walking dead daryl #daryl x female reader #daryl twd #daryl fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl x you #daryl x y/n

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b00tyliciousbabe · 4 months

Text

gingerbread

himbo bf x male reader

summary: spending time with your boyfriend and his family for the holidays. some fluff, lil angst, bad jokes (i apologise in advance), and minimal smut of course.

notes: merry chrysler! hope y’all pretty people are doing amazing. notoriously indecisive in true bootylicious fashion, i settled on one of my fave typa men - gentle giant himbos. think danny wheeler from baby daddy. now, i would never call my men dumb, but always be saying real stupid things. there’s a specific kind of wonder that you can see in their eyes…i’m whipped.

disclaimer: i also tried to keep it as open to as many tastes as possible, so a lot of who he is, you can do create yourself. but i had to make him a bit of a redhead, they too fine.

y’all better gass me because the way i wrote this 3 hours before the end of xmas day, enjoy babies <3

saved in his phone as gingerbread - he’s a ginger, and you get bred xx

you always loved spending time with your boyfriend’s family, almost as much as they loved you. his mother was the first to catch Y/N fever, mostly because you reminded her of herself and it was a relief to know that someone could handle her son’s antics . then it was his brothers, they loved how mellow you made him, as if all of his struggles melted away when you waltzed into his life. they felt like your guardians, wanting to protect you because they knew how much you meant to their baby brother. and his sisters…they’re lowkey your best friends. when you first met, y’all got on so well with one another bonding over fashion, pop culture, and weirdly philosophy.

his dad liked you as a person, believing you were a kind soul, but not the person for his son, because of how different you two were. they were a quiet luxury kinda family, which didn’t necessarily coincide with how connected you were with celebrities. this was until he saw how well you worked together. whilst working on a huge project for the family business, your boyfriend was stressed in the office. you walked in, ready to go on a date after he’d finished. ‘hey baby, you look hot, where you going?’ he’d forgotten, but you never held it against him. you loved to see the cogs turn in his head as he came to a realisation. ‘shit. it’s date night.’ he groaned head in hands. ‘I’m so sorry Y/N, work’s just been so busy, the clients wanted to move the order forward, the contractors needed more data on the financial markets, and…’ you sat down on his desk, holding his chin so you guys exchanged eye contact. ‘babe, it’s all good, i know it’s a really busy time for you.’ you stroked his face reassuringly, a sigh of relief emitted from his lips. ‘i ain’t leaving your side, we’re in this together,’ you said as you went in for a kiss. it was deep and sensual, and if you didn’t stop when you did, you would’ve left that room walking side to side. ‘so, what can i help with?’ you responded, looking at the documents on the desk. he stared up lovingly, ‘i don’t deserve you,’ he admitted ‘too good to me.’ which garnered a little chuckle from you. his dad saw how supportive you were, pulling an all-nighter for the benefit of your man. you were so tired that the two of you spooned on the couch in his office, and slept there. early the next morning, the two of you were met with a breakfast course on the coffee table and your respective starbucks orders. you kissed your bf goodbye, so he could work, and just as you were about to leave, his father stopped you. ‘good morning Y/N, did you enjoy the food?’ he questioned as you entered the elevator together. ‘it was lovely sir, thank you.’ you replied hesitantly. ‘the only thanks due is to you, i appreciate how you’re always there for my son.’ you smiled inside, longing to prove yourself to him. ‘I love him sir, he needs to know that any problem he has, automatically becomes our problem to solve together.’ he knew at that moment, you were the perfect fit.

one of the core memories of your relationship was the weekend in the alps. your boyfriend thought this would’ve been the perfect opportunity to have some alone time with you before the new year. with award season coming up, many celebrities needed to be styled, you legit had no time to see him, it was going to be amazing. you stayed in the chalet his parents owned, but neither of you knew that it’d be an entire sibling getaway. the two of you snuggled under the blankets, drinking hot chocolate, whilst listening to some quiet smooth jazz in the background. revelling in how cozy and warm it was, he was dozing off whilst cuddling and you decided to follow suit, but not before a quick kiss on your bf’s nose - he’s so cute. unfortunately, like most precious things, this didn’t last long. there was a huge clatter at the door, awakening you two. ‘what the fuck are you guys doing here?’ your man blasted at them. ‘oh hey lil bro,’ one of them said as the others made themselves feel at home. ‘we heard you lovebirds were here and wanted to see Y/N again, we missed him.’ they all waved at you. you blushed and immediately got up greet them all with hugs and squeals. ‘omds, i haven’t see you guys in ages, we have so much to catch up on.’ you blurted out in an excited frenzy. your love, on the other hand, didn’t share the same energy. whilst you had walked to his sisters, his brothers playfully punched your bf to cheer up. ‘you idiots, have the worst timing, he said as they got ready to get some wood for the chimney.

it was just you and the girls, as you gossiped about the drama that went down during fashion week as they ate up every word. you mostly had done a lot of listening to their relationship dramas and work lives, as you shared a couple giggles. you has made gingerbread men, as his sisters watched the master at work. ‘Y/N, these are delicious, how are you so good at everything?’ they praised which made you blush. the boys had returned, with your man wincing with pain as his brothers carried him in. ‘the dummy tripped on the snow’ they said snickering as you walked to help him. ‘how many times have i told you to be careful out there?’ you said, concerningly staring at the bruise on his hip. you touched it gently earning a wince from him as he pushed away your hand. ‘sorry babe.’ he stared dead in your eye and looked away, giving you the silent treatment. ‘what do you need?’ he continued airing. ‘i’m gonna get some bandages’ you said, unsure of what you did to hurt him emotionally.

‘the fuck is wrong with you?’ his sisters protested, thumping his head. ‘ow! what do you mean?’ ‘that boy loves you, so much so that he puts up with all of your shit and stupidity.’ they come to your defence. he looks to his brothers for help, but to no avail. ‘dude, I’ll be real, you fucked up.’ one says. ‘he was just trying to help’ another adds. like the youngest, he continues to deflect ‘well, if you guys hadn’t come, i wouldn’t have gotten hurt, and me and Y/N would have been happier. he finally admitted. ‘oh damn.’ their faces became gentler as they circled in on him. ‘I just never get to see him now, with work and everything, and i don’t want him to get used to not seeing me’ he started to get teary but hid it behind a scowl. ‘bro, you are meant to be with Y/N, i see it in your eyes every time he walks into a room, like he’s the only one there.’ your bf smiles at the mere thought of your face. ‘see, he ain’t even here and you’re cheesing so bad rn.’ they all laugh. ‘i don’t know how to tell him, he’s so good at communicating his feelings, i just, i just can’t do it the way he does.’ his heart begins to beat faster. ‘that’s the thing though, he knows you better than you know yourself.’ the eldest brother says ‘there’s nothing that he won’t be able to understand because the two of are so connected.’

you enter with the bandages and medical supplies. ‘here’s a chance to fix that’ his twin sister says as they leave and move to the other side of the mansion, locking the door behind them as they wave you bye for now. you sit beside him on the sofa, placing a hot compress on his bruise. ‘Y/N, we need to talk.’ you decided to give him a taste of his own medicine by being stand-offish ‘speak then.’ you say glaring into his eyes that made you melt every time but now. ‘i am so sorry for my rude behaviour, i know you were just tryna help my stubborn ass.’ you continued tending to his wounds, with an apathy rivalled only by the unconditional love you have for him. ‘whatever.’ you muttered. ‘aw, come on baby, don’t be like that.’ he grimaced. ‘like what,’ your voice growing in confidence ‘like someone who, as hard as they try, can never get their boyfriend to fully open up?’ you admitted. ‘you know that’s not the whole story.’ he looks down. ‘mkay’ you say, tired of arguin, he just needed to cool off. he takes a deep breath. ‘Y/N, you know i love you more than anything ’ your boyfriend boldly states, deepening your eye contact. ‘and you know i love you the same, but sometimes love is not enough,’ you struggle to get the words out, getting choked up as you hold his cheek for stability. he turns to kiss you, it’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. he caresses your thigh, as your tongues dance for dominance in the warmth of your mouth. you pulled back. ‘here goes nothing, babe, I’m afraid, afraid of losing you.’ he admitted desperately. ‘we barely ever see each other and I’m scared that it has, um, like, maybe, um’ he failed to articulate his thoughts, angering him further. ‘calm down love, i hear what you’re saying. you’re worried about the possibility of us being comfortable with rarely seeing one another and what that means for us.’ you always knew how to soothe his heart. ‘exactly, you’re just so good at letting me know what we need to do to make this relationship work that I’m clueless at asking for help.’ he smiled earning a chuckle from you. ‘we’re in this together boo, you won’t ever lose me.’ as he sneers into another smooch. ‘fuck.’ he moaned into your mouth as a tent forms in his boxers. ‘your voice always gets me going.’ you looked down and immediately dropped to your knees.

you hadn’t sucked your boyfriend’s cock in what seemed like forever. you pulled his boxers to his ankles as his thick cock sprung up, throbbing in the cool air of the room. you grabbed his pole, gaslighting him into thinking you were going to start at the tip. instead you began to massage his beefy, low-hanging balls in your mouth. ‘Y/N, fuck, that’s where the spunk is stored, not where you drink it from’ he snickered, removing them from your mouth. ‘you’ve got to st-UGHHHH’ you deepthroated with ease, loving how his dumb, naive nature was still translated to your time in the sheets. ‘that’s it baby, good boy’ he praises, looking at the slobber that made his dick glisten. ‘shit.’ he cums without warning, giving you an impromptu facial. ‘sorry darling, i came as soon as i saw you slap my dick on your thick lips.’ your boyfriend helped you to clean up, pushing his hand all over your face and fingering your mouth with his nut.

you moved to undressing, as you straddled your man. ‘i know you wanna pound me into tomorrow, but you can’t,’ gesturing to his bruise. he whined and cooed. ‘however…’ you whispered into his ear, jerking him of with a mix of his cum and your spit ‘imma help my man out tonight.’ as you sank onto his schlong with ease. his hands immediately grabbed your globes, as he licked his lips salaciousy, enjoying your physique. ‘so fucking hot.’ your bf mumbled. you started bouncing on his cock as he slowly rutted in you from beneath, your hole was already sore.

it was gonna be a long night…

@gayaristocrat imma save your fantasy for dacre, that man is 90s fine fr

#gay #smut #bottom male reader #male x male #mlm #male reader #christmas fanfic #male x male fluff #male x male angst

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lunarfleur · 11 months

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Earth 42! Miles Morales Datings Hcs

Tagging: @juneberrie @sluggmuffin

Warnings:Mentions of his job as the prowler

A/N: I’m literally in love with him help

This is x gender neutral reader!

This boy is not your sugar daddy. Be fr.

Does he have extra cash? Yeah.

But he’s not your sugar daddy. That is a child.

He’s honestly not that different from Earth 1610! Miles, he’s just been through a lot more shit

He’s still a dork, deep down.

But let’s get the inevitabilities out of the way

Spanish nicknames, for sure. I don’t speak Spanish, but it’d just be the ones everyone in the community thinks he would use 😭

As well as baby and babe.

This boy is a hugger in every universe

He would never openly say, “I need a hug.” But, he’d pull you in or bury his face in your neck

It gets the point across

I think for both versions of Miles, he keeps his room clean for you

His mom always gets on him for it, so it’s just habit to have his room clean

Picking up any and all dirty clothes, vacuuming, dusting, that kind of thing.

It’s typically clean anyways, but he makes sure it’s as clean as possible for you

Movie nights whenever he doesn’t get called into work. You’re tucked against him. One arm is around your shoulder, the other hand is rested comfortably on your thigh.

This boy loves loves loves forehead kisses, both giving and receiving

A lot of times he gives them as apologies

He couldn’t make a date, so he’s kissing your forehead after kissing your lips and apologizing so so genuinely

But you give him one? He’s dying.

You’re in his lap, and you just *mwah?*

He’s a goner

Let’s be honest, he’s young and in love. You make him excited.

Make out sessions are both common and enjoyable

He knows not to take too far, of course, but he can’t help but love on you

But make outs are never for public

He’s not ashamed of PDA, but he doesn’t think anyone else should see something so intimate.

But he’ll kiss you, hold your hand, leave his arm around your shoulders, and basically all the other toned down displays of affection

The only people that are afraid of him are the ones who have caused problems with him

He’s lived in New York all his life. A lot of kids know him. A lot of kids know that he just changed after he lost his dad

The ignorant ones start fights with him. The ignorant ones lose fights with him.

Because this boy can scrap

He’s not really some big, bad bully who runs his school or whatever

He sticks to being a loner, with the exception of you.

He still maintains good grades and behavior and all that

He doesn’t really get in trouble for fighting because he’s never the one who starts it

It’s self defense, you know?

There’s only 3 people in his life that he genuinely cares about: You, his mom, and his uncle.

Of course, he wants you to meet them

So he brings you home one day

And, luckily for you, they’re both easy to get along with

But he’s okay with not meeting your family

If you don’t want him to, he doesn’t have to

Fights with him go one of two ways, depending on the severity of the situation.

A:It’s a very serious, tense discussion. He doesn’t put any distance between you two, maybe holding your hand or keeping his knee touching yours. He speaks carefully and he listens to you.

This Miles doesn’t yell. Not at you, not at his mom, basically never.

B: You two give each other space. He makes sure you’re home safely, leaving you with a kiss on the forehead, before giving both of you time to calm down and think everything over.

And then once you two are ready, you talk things over and he apologizes. This leads to soft make outs and/or cuddles.

But we all know he’s The Prowler

He’s not a villain, necessarily. He doesn’t kill people for the fun of it. He kills people who deserve it. Criminals, people who have genuinely hurt others.

He didn’t wait too long to tell you, actually.

It was only a month or two.

He liked you, genuinely, and it shocked him to his core. He knew his job would put distance between you two. He didn’t want that. Miles wanted things with you to go right.

He told you cautiously, and made sure to explain what he did and why.

It made sense, it really did. And he made sure to keep you away from it all.

It was hard to handle at first, but eventually you came to terms with it.

He was honestly terrified that you’d be scared of him. He’s still a kid, remember.

Sometimes, he gets called in and can’t make a date.

But Miles hates it and makes damn good sure he makes it up to you

He keeps tabs of everything he’s missed

He’s a sweetheart, honestly.

He gives you things, like gifts and his clothes and full access to his room

And he’s always making sure you’re in the best of moods

You’re crying? He’s doing everything he can to fix it.

Miles isn’t a bad boyfriend, it just takes some time to understand him.

#across the spiderverse #earth 42 miles morales #earth 42 miles morales x reader #miles morales

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spongeyspot · 6 months

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Toxic Traits/Red Flags HC

Characters: Arthur, Javier, John, Lenny, Dutch, Micah, Charles, Sean, Hosea, Mary Beth, Abigail, Tilly, Karen, Sadie, Molly

(A/N): WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS DAWG. I LOVED @cowboyfromh3ll 's take on that shit sm and these hcs have literally been swimming in my head for weeeeeeeeks bro

Edit: some of these were kinda hard because there's not a lot of bad in the characters themselves... I had trouble with specifically Charles, Lenny, Mary Beth, and Tilly. Sorry if they may be OOC. IM EVEN DOING THE GIRLS BECAUSE IM IN A SILLY GOOFY MOOD

Content Warning: female reader, jealousy, self hate, narcissism, gaslighting, physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, mentions of murder and violence, mentions of infidelity, mentions of sex (Sean, Micah, Sadie kind of) (MINORS DNI)

Not edited btw

The boys

Arthur Morgan

- Honestly, I feel like Arthur would have this insane, crippling fear of rejection, especially when it comes to dating. - His self hate/deprecation plays a huge part in this, and quite honestly, him and Mary not working out probably also probably contributed to it. - Very emotionally distant. Has a hard time expressing his feelings openly due to that same fear of rejection.🚩 - Bottles shit up until he feels like he's gonna explode 🚩 - His impulse control is almost nonexistent 🚩 - Will resort to saying things that he doesn't even mean. He just says things when he's angry🚩 - Will hate himself even more if he makes you cry - Won't hesitate to run away from camp for a while to cool off. This isn't necessarily a bad thing per se, but he usually takes his time away to overthink the fuck out of everything - Prone to acting violent. (not to someone he cared about, but to other people, absolutely)Also due to his poor impulse control. 🚩

Javier Escuella

- Has a flirty personality, but around women, it just seems to get worse. 🚩 - Tells you you're overreacting if you tell him it bothers you🚩 - Overprotective of you. Always has his eyes on you, and practically orders you to stay in camp where it's safe. - As if you step one foot outside the camp without him, you'll spontaneously drop dead - Jealous asf. Are you laughing at what Bill just said? It wasn't even that funny. Why are you standing so close to him? You should be at least 6 feet away from him, not 5 and a half. 🚩 - Also has a problem with how you dress sometimes. God forbid your shirt is ever low cut. He'd probably ask you to change. 🚩 - And if you get offended or upset, he'll lie and tell you it's because he can't stop staring at your chest, and he'd like to focus of whatever it was he was doing.🚩

John Marston

- Stubborn as all hell. Doesn't listen to anybody for anything.🚩 - Commitment issues up the ass - Says mean things out of anger and sometimes actually means them 🚩 - Won't apologize half the time. He thinks kissing it better actually makes it better 🚩 - Regularly ignores his own bad habits instead of actually facing them 🚩 - Will run away from problems like Arthur, but worse. He'd be gone a really long time.🚩 - Gets annoyed with you if you get angry at him for leaving and staying away for a while. He told you he needed space, didn't he? What else do you need from him?? 🚩 - Ignorantly clueless half the time. Head empty, no thoughts.

Lenny Summers

- Not assertive in the slightest, and usually, respectfully, keeps to himself. -Takes orders without verbal complaints but inside he's annoyed as fuck 🚩 - Even if he hates doing something he'll probably just go "Okay" and do it anyway, and he'll sulk all day afterwards - Refuses to tell you what's wrong because he thinks he'll sound childish.🚩 - If you push the issue, he might snap at you out of annoyance like "Would you just let it be??" - Immediately feels guilty and shameful, and he'll hide away until he's ready to apologize and face you again - Also kind of a know-it-all... He'll correct you a LOT. It would get annoying 🚩 - Would blatantly tell you you're wrong before correcting you🚩 - Not necessarily an asshole about it but he still tends to get under your skin sometimes

Dutch Van Der Linde

- The BIGGEST Narcissist you'll ever meet.🚩 -He loses another piece of his mental state with every breath he takes. Slowly but surely losing his mind.🚩 - King of gaslighting🚩 - How could you even think that about him? He could never do anything wrong! You must be crazy...🚩 - Tries to recite his "pretty words" from Evelyn Miller to try and sound smarter than he actually is 🚩 - Expects you to just feed his ego without him actually doing anything to earn it🚩 - Will try to correct you even when he's wrong🚩 - Refuses to admit he's wrong. He can never be wrong. That word isn't even in his vocabulary unless he's talking about literally anyone but himself🚩

Micah Bell

- Where do I even start with this guy - Not above putting his hands on you if he doesn't get his way. Let's be honest here.🚩 - Mega Narccisist, almost as bad as Dutch 🚩 - Will brag and share every sexual encounter you've ever had with him like he's talking about the weather🚩 - VERY prone to Violence 🚩 - NO impulse control. Murders people for fun.🚩 - Backhanded and borderline abusive compliments 24/7 "You'd look so good if you weren't so fucking fat..." 🚩 - Selfish lover. Thinks just sticking it in will do the trick, and it does, for him at least.🚩 - Little to no affection. What are you? His girlfriend? Wait...🚩 -If he actually does show you affection, and you react in surprise, he'll tell you to go fuck yourself, and that that's the last time he ever does anything nice for you.🚩

Charles Smith

- Impossible to read sometimes - Like Arthur, Charles tends to keep a lot of his emotions bottled up until he feels like he's gonna pop 🚩 - Like most of the men in the Van Der Linde gang, Charles is also prone to acting violently. I mean, he started a bar fight with a fucking chair, and he fights in street fighting rings, let's be real for a second.🚩 - He's incredibly quiet and reserved a lot of the time, and sometimes you just assume that he's listening to you when you talk, but a lot of the time, he's lost in his own thoughts. - Will do everything anyone asks him to at the expense of his own free time and energy, and sometimes he works himself to exhaustion just to try and please everyone.🚩 - In doing so, he sometimes doesn't have time for himself at the end of the day. It also seems like you spend time together less and less as the days go on. - If he ever got himself hurt and you tried to help him, he'd decline any help with anything to save his own pride. The last thing he needs is you thinking he's weak. 🚩 - Extremely Overprotective. Like to the point where he'd beat the shit out of anybody you asked him to🚩

Sean Macguire

- An Alcoholic🚩 - horny 99% of the time, but half that time he probably has whiskey dick. Still asks you to try but doesn't understand that it's like trying to play pool with a rope... - If he can manage to be sober enough to actually get it up, and you're not in the mood, he'd get pissy and annoyed with you for "wasting his boner" 🚩 - Will probably also brag about having sex with you to everyone🚩 - Needy as all hell - Bro sulks on purpose - Low key loves the attention you give him when you continue to ask him what's wrong, but he never actually tells you and constantly says "I'm fine..." or "It's nothing..." 🚩 - But then sighs dramatically and continues sulking and dragging his feet so you keep giving him more attention 🚩

Hosea Matthews

- Ignores his physical health until he's practically dying. You've told him to get that cough looked at for literal years and he just says "I will" and does nothing 🚩 - sometimes talks to you as if you're a child especially if he's around Dutch -low key gaslights you sometimes 🚩 - and he says it with such a gentle tone, its hard to catch it 🚩

The girls

Mary Beth Gaskill

- Daydreams way too much - Likes to live in her romance novel fantasy land rather than face reality 🚩 - Cries a lot - Tries to be angry but can't help but cry instead - If crying makes you feel bad for her, she'll probably do it on purpose so you comfort her and give her attention🚩 -If you're in a fight, she'll turn on the crocodile tears to get you to stop being angry with her or whatever it is you're arguing about.🚩

Abigail Roberts

- She can be verbally abusive if she's pushed far enough 🚩 - Holds in a lot of her emotions🚩 - Neglectful of her own personal needs to make sure you or Jack are fully provided or cared for🚩 - a lot of the time, when she's upset with you, you're probably given the cold shoulder and the silent treatment - incredibly protective. Not necessarily a bad thing, but she can sometimes be super overbearing.

Tilly Jackson

- Tells it how she sees it, sometimes accidentally sounding a lot colder than she means to 🚩 - Too sarcastic for her own good 🚩 - Laughs a little too much sometimes when you tell a joke, and you can often tell it's actually incredibly fake🚩 - gets irritated really easily, especially if she's bothered while doing her chores. The last thing she needs is Grimshaw on her ass again.🚩 - irritable a lot of the time, unintentionally becoming short or snapping at you - like john, she also believes that kissing it better is better than actually apologizing

Karen Jones

- An alcoholic 🚩 - picks fights with you for fun, finds it entertaining to see how red your face can get from anger 🚩 - Screaming matches are a regular occurance between you guys, and she starts it almost every time 🚩 - Pretty jealous when it comes to the opposite sex🚩 - Has self doubt and believes that she can't give you everything a man probably could

Sadie Adler

- The nosiest woman in America. No chill. She reads everyone's mail. - Makes a lot of loose threats 🚩 - Anger issues🚩 - Low impulse control🚩 - Can be a little too rough sometimes 🚩 - If she's upset with you, she'll either yell or storm off. Sometimes both. 🚩 -(She tends to walk away a lot more often because she's actuall self aware that her anger issues are a problem) - She'd never admit that to you though.

Molly O'Shea

- Even more jealous than Javier🚩 - Glares at and envies anyone you talk to that isn't her🚩 - Has immaginary conversations with people in her head🚩 - Rubbing her hands together when the real life conversations are following the script she had planned out in her brain - Needs constant reassurance - "D'you even love me anymore?!"🚩 - Overthinks everything 🚩 - Paranoid as hell about infidelity - Gets mad at you when she dreams about you cheating on her🚩

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everyonewooeverywhere · 1 month

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MDNI 18+ BLOG -> ageless blogs and minors WILL BE BLOCKED

pairing ✭ dom!seonghwa x bratty!f!reader

synopsis ✭ He told you not to wear the dress. You did it anyway. And he's not usually very forgiving.

content/genre ✭ smut 18+ MDNI

word count ✭ 2.2k

note ✭ this is lightly inspired by "worst behavior" by ariana grande

warnings ✭ name-calling (he calls mc a "whore" 😀, baby, pretty girl), grips her jaw really tight (it's made clear that it's something she enjoys), restraints (cuffs her to bed), blindfold, hwa is pretty controlling, protected sex, edging

✭✭✭✭

You were being a tease. Everyone knew it. You knew it. The whole party knew it. But not a single soul knew it better than Seonghwa.

He’d been so generous to bring you to this party. It was supposed to be a classy event–one with nice dresses and well-pressed suits. Polished shoes and fancy perfumes. And those weren’t necessarily things you lacked, but your “nice dress” of choice had certainly taken some liberties. Specifically with how impossibly short it was.

If you were being honest, you hadn’t meant to tease him per say, but you knew that, if you wore the sluttiest dress you could find, your boyfriend would want to leave early. That meant you wouldn’t have to waste a perfectly fine evening at one of his boring, posh company gatherings. He had tried to stop you, too, but you had never been a very good listener.

✭✭✭✭

As you touched up your makeup in the mirror of your boyfriend’s luxury apartment, you couldn’t help but admire the reflection. You looked incredible in your black minidress. Its lace detailing was what had originally caught your eye, and you happened to know that your boyfriend was a fan of it too. Though, maybe not for a night like tonight.

“Baby, are you almost ready?” You heard him call from the conjoined bedroom.

As you finished one last swipe of lip gloss, you called back, “Yep!”

He was smiling when he peaked his head into the bathroom, but you saw that smile immediately drop in the reflection of the mirror when he saw your outfit.

You pouted, “What?” And you turned around to face him.

“You’re not wearing that dress.” He said plainly.

With a roll of your eyes that he did not like in the slightest, you retorted, “I like it.”

“Yeah, well,” with a couple of steps in your direction, he pushed you up against the counter of the sink, the marble digging into your backside, “You look like a whore, and I don’t want my colleagues to see you like this.”

You felt giddy with pleasure at how upset he was getting, and all it took was a simple dress. Still, you kept up the annoyed act, “Well, your colleagues can keep it in their fucking pants because I’m not taking it off.”

He gripped your chin with his ring-clad hand and forced you to look him right in the face, “I don’t like this little attitude, baby. Are we gonna have a problem tonight?”

You didn’t respond. You couldn’t. You were so focused on the unyielding grip of his hand on your jaw, that all you could manage to think about was the hand dropping lower to grasp your neck. Before things could go any further, though, there was a knock at the bedroom door.

“Sir, are you ready? The car is here. And we are already running late.”

“One second,” your boyfriend responded to his assistant. Returning his attention to you, the grip on your jaw tightened, “You are so fucking lucky that we’re running late or I would punish you right fucking now.”

You swallowed hard, trying to suppress the whine that bubbled up in your throat at his words. Because, let’s be honest, there was nothing you wanted more than for him to do just that.

✭✭✭✭

The part was just as boring as you assumed it would be. Everyone was dressed for the part. A room full of rich people looking to show off their wealth. And, of course, Seonghwa was no exception to that, seeing as he’d brought his sugar baby with him, though you were certainly attracting a good bit of negative attention from the crowd.

Throughout the whole night, Seonghwa kept his hand on your lower back, dictating your every move and keeping you in his sights. Though it was clear he had additional motives. Motives fueled by the fact that he knew it drove you absolutely insane when he took control of you like that. Guiding you from person to person as he chatted away with executives from his company, always acutely aware of how you clung to him with your fingers playing with the edges of his suit jacket.

He’d occasionally pass you a flute of champagne off a tray motioned toward him by a waiter. “Thank you,” you’d whisper as the glass transferred from his hand to yours. And he would purposely brush your hand with his own as he gave you the glass.

As he talked you nodded along to his every word, not paying much attention to what came out of his mouth. Too busy absent-mindedly playing with the buttons of his shirt, occasionally slipping your hand through them to feel his chest underneath the shirt. Each time, he’d remove your hand himself and cast a glare down at you. Only for you to grin up at him with your bottom lip between your teeth.

When he finished chatting with a couple that had occupied his attention for the past half-hour, he turned his attention to you. He pulled you into his chest, it was an embrace that anyone around you would have thought was a cute romantic gesture, but you were smart enough to know that was far from the case.

“You’re really asking for it, huh baby?” he growled in your ear, his breath hot against your skin.

“Hwa,” you whined softly, “I wanna go home.” You wiggled in his embrace.

“Fine, we can go home, but I can promise you are in big fucking trouble when we do.”

✭✭✭✭

It only took two minutes from the second the car pulled up to Seonghwa’s apartment for him to be on top of you in his bed.

To your surprise things started off sweet. He kissed you softly, with his hands playing with the frills in the lace of your dress. His lips traveled from your own to your cheek and jaw. Leaving little bites in the wake of his kisses. When you gripped, his hair, your nails digging into his scalp, it was as if you’d flipped a switch in him.

He was off of you in a second, and you pouted at his departure. You propped yourself up on your elbows as you watched him slip off the bed and head to his dresser.

Your thighs rubbed together in anticipation. You watched as he stripped himself of his suit jacket, leaving him in his back dress shirt. He slid a condom into his back pocket and grabbed a pair of cuffs from the drawer along with a silk blindfold and vibrator.

When he made his way back to the bed, you made a move to take your dress off, but he stopped you. Grabbing your hair and tilting your head up to meet his eyes, “The dress isn’t going anywhere.”

“What?” Your eyes widened at that news, “Why?” you croaked out, confused.

“Well, you like it so much, don’t you baby?” You nodded hesitantly at his question, still excited for the answer, “Then I don’t see any reason why I should take it off you. I might just have to fuck you in it.”

After cuffing you to the headboard and tying the silk cloth around your eyes, you heard him shuffle around the bed. He adjusted one of the pillows under your head, “Is that comfortable?” He muttered in your ear.

“Yeah,” you breathed back. You were met with a kiss on the forehead at your reassurance. As much as you loved when he was rough with you, it was nice to always know that he genuinely did care for your well-being.

He continued to kiss down your body while his hands groped you over your dress. You were so distracted by the feeling of his lips on your skin, the heat of his mouth as he nipped at your jaw and collarbone, that you failed to notice the faint buzzing noise of the vibrator when he turned it on.

You were made aware of its presence, though, when he pressed it to your panties, making you gasp and jump up slightly. You just knew he was smirking down at you.

He just loved to watch you squirm under him. Watching you unravel without him even having to do any work.

When he held the toy to your clit over your underwear, you moaned, loud, “Hwa, oh fuck!” You wiggled your hips trying to give yourself more.

He slapped in inside of your thigh, “Move again, and I’ll turn it off.”

“Please, baby,” you whined, “I need more.”

“Oh? You think you deserve more?” He smacked your thigh again, “After how horrible you were being tonight? You're lucky I don’t just tie you up and get myself off. You don’t want that do you, baby?”

You shook your head furiously, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please Hwa…”

He pressed the vibe harder into your clit, circling it around, building friction between your panties and your clit. You felt your stomach tighten at the continuous motion.

He noticed that you were close, “Oh are you close?” you nodded dumbly, “Yeah? Do you wanna come, baby?”

“Yes! Please baby, please!” You could feel yourself getting closer and closer, and you were on the verge of spilling over. But it came to a screeching halt when he removed the vibrator from you entirely.

You felt your eyes well up with tears of frustration, and he noticed it, “Oh, is my baby crying? Maybe if you hadn’t acted like such a whore tonight, you could get what you want.”

“Please..” you gasped out in a broken whisper.

“Patience baby,” when he said “patience,” though, he really just meant he wanted you to beg for it he wanted you to cry under him and beg for him to fuck you.

And beg you did, as he teasingly ran his fingers over your soaked panties, you continued to whine out his name, over and over and over again. When he finally moved them aside and ran a finger through your fold, he teased you, “God, could you get any wetter? Is this all mine?”

You could barely gasp out a “yes” before his fingers were inside you. “Fuck!” you choked out as he fucked you on his hand, watching as you unraveled for a second time. “Please, Hwa! I need more! Please!”

“Oh…baby’s gonna behave now is she?”

You nodded, “I’ll be so good, please.”

“Yeah? You want my cock, baby?”

“Oh god yes! I want it so bad,” involuntarily, you rolled your hips against his hand. Resulting in another smack to your thigh. Again, he waited until you were on the verge of cumming to pull away his hand. You tried to reach out with your legs to wrap them around him, but he was already sliding off the bed. From the shuffling you heard, you could tell he was taking off his clothes. You whined at the thought, thighs rubbing together to give yourself something while he was away.

You felt his weight dip in the bed, and his hand came up to caress your cheek, “Are you ready, pretty baby?”

“Uh huh,” you nodded, “I’ve been so good. Please…”

He chuckled, sliding the blindfold off of your eyes so that it was around your neck, “Well, I don’t know about that, but your lucky that you're so fucking beautiful. And I just can’t help myself.”

He rolled the condom on as he kissed you softly. When he ran his length through your folds, you sighed at the contact. He kept kissing you as he pushed into you, slowly at first.

You gasped and arched your back, “Oh my god!” He didn’t keep the pace slow for long. You’d spent so long teasing him and playing around with him, that he was insatiably pent up. That didn’t mean he didn’t have the patience to tease you of course, but, by the time he was inside of you, both of you were at your wit’s end.

He gripped the back of your head with one hand and you hip with the other, pressing his forehead to yours as he pounded into you. Over and over and over.

“Shit, baby,” he murmured against your lips, “You keep getting tighter.”

“Oh, Hwa, I’m so close,” you croaked out, tears running down your cheeks, “Please, please, please let me cum.” Every inch of you felt hot, and your legs shook as your pleasure overtook.”

“Fuck, yeah, pretty girl. Cum around me. Shit–. I’m close to.”

Your eyes rolled back, and your jaw went slack as you came. Legs shaking without any control. You cried out his name with your chest heaving.

He pulled out of you when you finished and ripped off the condom. He groaned as he pumped his dick a few times, cumming all over your dress.

You whined as he admired the damage he’d done to the garment. “Hwa…my dress.” You pouted as he undid the restraints above your head.

“Yeah, you’re not ever wearing this fucking dress ever again.”

✭✭✭✭

note ✭ thank you so so so much to everyone who helped me choose to write this one. i struggled a bit to get it done, but i wanted to get something done before i go home this weekend 😊

if you liked it, please let me know! i absolutely love love love hearing feedback whether it be comments, reblogs, or even just a small message in my dms or inbox. i love hearing from ya'll 💗

anyways thank you for reading! love ya~

#ateez x reader #ateez smut #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa smut #seonghwa x reader smut #seonghwa #park seonghwa #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa fic #park seonghwa imagines #park seonghwa fic #ateez imagines #ateez fic #*ꔫ.ೃ࿔* ateez #*ꔫ.ೃ࿔* everyonewooeverywhere: worst behavior #*ꔫ.ೃ࿔* everyonewooeverywhere

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beautysamour · 1 year

Text

Your beauty never ever scared me

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Summary: figuring out you were a descendant of the darkling messed up everything. with all the backlash you received because of this, your self esteem takes a blow. the company of a certain prince causes you to realize that you aren’t the monster you began to think you were.

warnings: some angst but this has a happy ending

a/n: the nikolai brain rot is real 😔🫶 enjoy! Also this is set before it’s revealed that mal is the third amplifier.

No. No, Baghra was wrong. You knew who you were and who your family was, she was wrong.

You’ve been going over the pieces of dialogue you had with Baghra ever since the sun set in your bed- well one of the palace’ bed. You couldn’t wrap your head around the idea of being related to him, to sharing his blood, his power.

To having any connection with the darkling.

You were never discovered by the grisha as a kid. Whenever the testers came by, your parents would give you a small cut somewhere on your body that could easily be hidden and at the time you didn’t think much of it- because you could barely remember them doing that.

You never had a good relationship with your parents so you didn’t think anything of it when they’d hurt you. It was just normal.

You never necessarily feared grisha, but you always feared the Fold and by extension, the power of the darkling. To think that all it would take for the Fold to get worse was to piss him off.

And piss him off you did.

During his little demonstration with Alina in the Fold, he tried to get you to join him thinking that you knew. That interaction finally made sense to you.

Feeling your head start to hurt and feeling even worse after realizing what’s in your blood, you turn off the lights in your room and go to bed.

—

“I hope I’m not ruining your day too much, sweetheart.”

Nikolai woke you up early this morning and asked for you to accompany him on a horse ride, “just for fun.” he said.

You knew better though, Nikolai never batted an eye at you since you boarded his- sturmhond-, ship. Alina was always more interesting. You knew that you were respected once you got the palace though, Tolya continuously singed out praises of your name to the army.

You knew that people in the palace had no problem with your presence, until now. Until people learned that you were grisha. Not everyone knows you’re related to the Darkling however, only a few people know.

Including Nikolai.

So you knew better. You knew that the only reason why you were with him right now is because he was told to keep an eye on you, to supervise you. You were now considered to be scum, as you were grisha.

“Wasn’t planning on doing much today, so I’m fine.”

You heard a soft snicker come from Nikolai’ direction but chose to keep your eyes forward and focused on the path in front of you two.

“Right,” he says with a slight grin on his face, “I’m glad, I’d never want to ruin a pretty girls’ mood.” From your peripheral you could see Nikolai observing you, looking for a reaction. He’s use to the normal flush of the cheeks and a stutter through a sentence, but you had no reaction to hearing him call you pretty. He had a rather flirty personality so his words meant nothing to you.

You remained silent hoping he would drop the conversation. You didn’t have anything against Nikolai, you actually really liked him. You could tell that he was going to be the king that Ravka needs.

But there was too much on your mind for you to be able to have small talk.

Nikolai suddenly let out a distressed sigh, “I have a meeting to get to sweetheart, if Vasily wasn’t getting on my back every hour of the day I would’ve stayed all day out here with you,” he pulls the reigns on his horse and turns towards the palaces’ direction, “let’s go back?” He gives you a small guilty smile and tilts his head resembling a puppy begging for a treat.

You nod feeing glad that you’ll be able to fully indulge in your thoughts and pull the reigns on your horse, riding back to the palace.

—

“She’s a monster!”

Nikolai was tempted to raise his voice, he and Vasily have been at it for the past hour. Yesterday, news got out that you were grisha- the soldiers gossip- and Vasily immediately told Nikolai that he should make you leave. Nikolai fought back against that idea and to get Vasily to shut up for at least a day about you, he agreed to “spy” on you.

“Nothing has changed, she’s still the same person Tolya constantly praised, and that you wanted as your bride.”

Nikolai did not want to have this conversation again. You were still the same girl he met on the ship, the two of you may have not interacted as much but he still saw you.

You were nothing like the Darkling and he had no problem reminding his brother of how infatuated he was with you.

“That was before I realized she was his kin, a monster just like him!” Nikolai clenched his jaw, finding it harder to control his raising temper. Vasily paced around his room, repeatedly mumbling out curses in the remembrance of previously touching you.

He was disgusted and he, like many other people in the palace, wanted you gone. He stopped pacing when Nikolai straightened his back before getting up from his chair and walking to the door of the room, indicating that this little meeting was over. “Nikolai,” Vasily called out in a strained voice, “Think about the people.”

Nikolai felt his body freeze. Think about the people. Oh, he was thinking about the people. You were no threat, maybe to your enemies but not his people. Not wanting to lash out at his brother, Nikolai took a sharp breath and rolled his shoulders back. “Good night, brother,” he decides to say. He faces his body towards him and while still trying to keep his composure, he sends his brother a sharp glare with eyes filled with pure irritation, “I will not change my mind.”

—

You pressed your head further into your pillow trying to block out the obnoxious knocks that were coming from your door. Who could possibly already be in need of your presence?

After a few more seconds of the continuous knocks getting more aggressive and louder, you gave in to the persistent demands for you to open the door and got up.

“It’s really quite early,” you said through loose lips. You abruptly finished your sentence, a slight feeling of panic rushing into your body. Nikolai Lantsov. He was here again, the people must be getting more weary of you if he felt the need to visit you again.

You didn’t bother fixing up your hair or straightening out your evening wear before opening the door and you greatly regretted not doing so at the moment, you dropped your shoulders feeling embarrassed that he saw you in an unprofessional state.

He put on a slight smile in attempt to charm you, which he succeeded at, you internally pushed away that feeling of giddiness and straightened your posture waiting for him to speak.

“Yes it is quite early, that’s why I came here,” his eyes trail down your body and back up to your eyes before outstretching an arm, “breakfast?”

“Uh,” you stutter out, “sure, just let me…clean myself up.” You awkwardly moved your gaze from him trying to avoid how awkward this situation was as you closed your door- his was mid sentence in saying of course he’ll wait- but your door closed before he was able to finish.

You sat down in the chair that was in front of a middle sized mirror just above the table. You stared at your reflection for a few seconds before bringing your hands up to cover your face and curling your body into yourself. You much prefer not having the Prince’ attention.

—

It’s been a little over three months since Nikolai invited you for breakfast and you’ve begun to question his actual intentions.

He comes to your room each morning and invites you for breakfast and shares most of his hours with you, but all of these hangouts tend to follow your own terms.

If you wanted to go back to your room, Nikolai would simply walk you to your room, kiss the back of your hand, and continue his day without you. Usually you’d be the one to reach out to him during these days if you decided you wanted to be outside your room again.

You almost forgot that he had a duty as being a prince and that you were related to their current number one enemy. And you almost forgot that people still feared grisha. Almost.

People talk and rumors spread fast, you and Nikolai weren’t invisible whenever you two walked around the palace grounds. Inevitably people began to gossip.

Nikolai was always with you, he spoke of finding a bride openly around you which has caused some people to theorize about your relationship with him. The most common theory was that you were using him, that you used your grisha powers as a threat against him, that you would hurt the people if he did not enter a romantic relationship with you.

You tried to block them out. Nikolai never brought those rumors up so you assumed he just never heard them, well you weren’t going to be the one to tell him about it. What if he hears them then realizes that they might be right, that he was an idiot for ever letting his guard down around you.

As much as you tried to ignore it, you couldn’t deny the way your heart would race every morning, every time he knocked on your door and offered his arm. Every time he’d invite you into his personal quarters and give you that stupid smile paired with a tilt of his head that made you want to do anything he’d ask of you.

He made you feel like you weren’t a monster, that you weren’t a threat. You didn’t want to loose his trust, and you didn’t want to loose him. The amount of trust he has put in you threw you in for a loop, you’ve been constantly arguing with yourself over whether or not he’s being genuine or is still keeping an eye on you.

You couldn’t fault him if he was just doing this to keep an eye on you still, the Darkling has been visiting you, just like he was been with Alina.

“Sweetheart?”

You immediately tore your eyes away from the food in front of you after hearing his voice. In front of you; Nikolai was leaning slightly forward his eyebrows furrowed giving his face a worried expression.

“Yes?” You replied. You don’t know how long it’s been since you zoned out, but when you pick up your silver ware to put some of the food in your mouth it was cold.

Nikolai let out a breath that you didn’t realize he was holding, “Did you hear what I said?”

Shit.

You opened your mouth to say a lie, yes, but you knew that he’d immediately call your bluff. He was observant, too observant sometimes. He had a talent for reading people.

“No,” you decided to say, “sorry, I zoned out.”

He leaned back in his chair and relaxed his eyebrows, sighing while running a hand through his hair. “I’ve been telling you about my day and you zone out? Do I really not matter to you?” He whines.

Nikolai had a thing for theatrics, especially when it was to tease someone. Seeing that you had no regret in your gaze towards him, he lets out another breath and gives in to the smile he was holding back.

“That’s alright, this means that I can spend more time with you.” His wholesome smile now turning into a flirtatious grin, he puts his forearms on the table and leans closer to your face, “I do quite enjoy your company anyways.” His smile slightly drops as his eyes also fall to your lips then back to your eyes.

Lately you two have been having more moments like this, where the two of you fall into moments like these where Nikolai’ flirting feels more genuine.

The one thing that hasn’t changed throughout these few months of you two hanging out was that you knew better. Flirting was a regular thing for Nikolai, and because of that you let out a laugh causing Nikolai to lean back; seeming to now be avoiding your gaze.

“Nikolai, don’t tell me you’ve fallen for me? The big bad grisha,” you tease. You felt a little disappointed at seeing that he was avoiding your gaze, Nikolai wasn’t the type to back away from flirting. You lean forward on the table, “Saints Nikolai, if you’re going to flirt then at least commit to it.”

Taking your teasing tone as a dare, he returned his gaze to you and leaned forward on the table coming dangerously close to your face. This time you were taken aback, and ever the observer, he saw. He accompanied his smug expression with a smirk, “Is that what you want? For me to commit? To you.” His voice turned into a whisper as he finished his sentence.

He waited for you to do something. He wanted to see how long you’d last, for what exactly, well only Nikolai really knows that.

You counted your heartbeats, and three heartbeats later Nikolai dropped his gaze and turned his head as he let out a snicker, “Just messing around princess,” he straightened his back and got out of his seat, “we leave before sundown.”

You watched as he left the dining area, a little confused at what he meant about leaving before sundown but then you remembered; the mission.

“Shit.”

—

“Nikolai,” you called out to him as you walked into his tent, “why is my tent all the way on the other side of camp?”

This mission really wasn’t that dangerous compared to everything else that was going on but you didn’t want to gamble Nikolai’ life, since he was a prince.

“Good evening to you to sweetheart,” he said in a lighthearted tone before putting down the letter in his hand, “can’t keep your mind off of me?”

He was right, you couldn’t.

You let out a scoff slightly annoyed, “What if you get attacked? And I’m all the way on the other side of camp- I wouldn’t be able to help!”

Mirroring his actions earlier in the day, his refused to meet your gaze as he leaned back in his chair. “If I were to get attacked, you’d be safe. I have people with me- fighters who’ll be able to protect me if I somehow am not able to protect myself. You don’t need to worry.”

You exhaled as you felt yourself deflate. You wanted to say more but you knew that it wouldn’t matter once the conversation ended. All you would’ve succeeded at was creating some unnecessary tension between the two of you, with you being annoyed, which Nikolai thought was already out of character with you getting upset about something so small, and Nikolai being busy.

You glanced back at him before turning around to leave his tent, resembling a toddler who got upset after hearing they couldn’t get a toy they wanted.

Hearing your footsteps get further away, Nikolai lifted his head and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before shaking his head and picking up the letter again.

—

Nikolai lifted his head from his desk as soon as he heard a deafening scream, immediately on high alert and running out of his tent. The first thing that greeted Nikolai were soldiers running. Tents were on fire and the once peaceful camp was now overwhelmed with chaos.

Instead of his first thought being to get his people out of this ambushed camp, which was his second, he wanted to get to you. Now he regretted putting your tent on the other side of camp, now he had no idea where you were or if you were ok.

He started running to your side of the camp before getting blocked by a drüskelle-

“Desjenet!” yelled out the drüskelle. Nikolai began to reach out for his sword but made no action to take it out yet. “I’m not grisha-“

“But you protect them,” seethed out the drüskelle, “you are an enemy if you protect them.”

Not leaving anytime for Nikolai to respond, the drüskelle lunged forward but was never able to make contact with Nikolai. The man began to sway before falling apart. His head, upper body, and lower body all disconnect from each other as he falls to the ground, a dark wisp of smoke fading into the air as he does.

Nikolai didn’t take much time looking at the corpse in front of him when he heard another scream, forcing him to look up and see who was responsible for the death.

You. There you are standing in front of him, seemingly frozen in place and regret immediately floods into your veins. You just killed some using his power. You looked up at Nikolai and suddenly felt the need to throw up. So much to not wanting him to see you as a monster.

Nikolai, remembering that someone screamed, moved his gaze to the soldier a few feet away from you who had seemed to have seen you kill a man using the Darkling’ power. “Monster…” the soldier whimpered out before running away.

Nikolai had the urge to curse out his soldier but swallowed that urge down, the camp was still on fire and the two of you needed to get out. He ran over to you and grabbed you by the arm. “Are you alright,” he asks. You avoid his gaze. When you don’t answer he begins to start running, with his hand still on your arm dragging you through the camp, trying to find a horse.

He felt you stiffen and he felt you resist your urge to pull away from him. He wanted to look back at you, to talk to you face to face and assure himself that you’re alright but he decides against it. You guys will talk once you get back to the little palace.

—

You’ve been in Nikolai’ personal quarters before but you’ve never been on his bed. You’re sure your thoughts would’ve been completely incoherent if you weren’t so caught up about using the cut.

Saints, you were truly a monster.

Nikolai entered the room, he was checking up with his soldiers and making sure everyone or at least most of the people who were at the camp came back here. If there were any that didn’t, a rescue squad was already sent out.

You didn’t bother to look at Nikolai as he sat down on the edge of his bed next to you. You couldn’t look at him, you didn’t even want him to speak. You couldn’t bare to hear him call you a monster-

“Are you alright,” he says instead.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

He chuckles. You thought you’d never hear that again, you never he thought he’d bring you back to the palace.

“I’m alright. Now, are you going to give me an answer?”

You don’t give him an answer for a few seconds. Then suddenly the confusion become to hard to contain, “Why did you bring me back here?”

He turns his head to you and tilts it, now being the confused one, “You’re one of my soldiers, why would I not?”

“Because I’m a monster!” You blurt out. You don’t get why he cared, and now you’re really questioning if he was just spying on you the entire time or not, it seems like he was not.

“I’m not just a grisha Nikolai, I’m related to the enemy, I used to his power to kill someone right in front of you! Now everyone in the palace knows I’m related to him, all the soldiers are weary of me and it makes it even worse that I’m close to you. You’re reputation is getting corrupted because you’ve been seen with me.”

He doesn’t answer, he just keeps his eyes on you and lets you continue.

“The people think I’m- that I’m using my power to manipulate you and seeing how you had no reaction to me using the cut, they might come to some stupid conclusion that you’re actually conspiring with the enemy-“

“Y/N.” He finally interrupts, “Is that what’s been on your mind for these past few months?”

The last time he called you by your name was when he was Sturmhond. Hearing him call you by your name succeeded at making your heart ache even more.

“Yes,” you say, “so I don’t understand why I’m still here.”

You turn your head to meet his eyes and regret it immediately. The amount of intensity in his eyes is enough to make you choke on your saliva.

“Do you want to take a shower?” He asks. You can’t figure out if he’s trying to change the topic or maybe you just smell that bad. Maybe changing the topic is what you needed before you end up having a full on mental break down in front of him.

“Ok,” you whisper. Nikolai gets up and walks to his bathroom, soon you hear the sound of water entering his bathtub. Noticing that you didn’t follow him, Nikolai sticks his head out of his bathroom and gestures you to come into his bathroom.

Even though the atmosphere was rather uncomfortable, you still…liked him. So being invited into such a personal space still managed to make you shy.

Nikolai is leaning against his bathtub when you enter his bathroom. Hearing you enter, Nikolai lifts his head up to look at you then glances at your face, your hair, and your body before getting up to give you some alone time.

Getting a random surge of boldness you grab his hand and keep him in place. He turns his head to look at you and tilts his head in confusion, once again resembling a puppy.

“Can you…stay,” you cringe internally after hearing those words come out and avoid his gaze as you feel your cheeks flush. You hear a cough, as if someone was trying to stifle a laugh.

“Ok.”

You’re thankful that he doesn’t tease you for asking him to stay, the atmosphere is still rather uncomfortable for that.

He keeps his back turned to give you some privacy as you undress. Once you finish undressing, you fold your clothes and tuck them into a corner that you were sure wouldn’t get wet.

You cleared your throat once you fully got into the tub, “You can turn around now.”

From your peripheral, you see Nikolai sit down on a stool that was right next to his bathtub. “Do you need help cleaning yourself?” He asks.

You should’ve shaken your head because you’re fully capable of cleaning yourself, but you couldn’t fight back the giddiness in you that manifested at the thought of a physically intimate moment with Nikolai. So you nod.

Nikolai picks up a small towel and rubs it on a bar of soap before putting it on your body. You hoped he wasn’t able to see your red face as you flushed even more when he started moving the towel.

“You aren’t a monster.” He says instead once again, “You haven’t changed at all,” you turned your head to look at him but he didn’t meet your eyes, his eyes focused on your body as he cleaned it. “You’re still the same girl that boarded Sturmhond’ ship. You’re still caring, and thoughtful. You still overthink and stress too much on what other people think of you, but you’re also confident at the same time. You know your worth and you simply want to make sure other people do to.” He moves you hair out of the way as he moves the towel to the back of your neck.

“Actually maybe you aren’t the same girl I met. But you’re not to blame for that.” You didn’t think it was possible but your heartbeat began to thump even harder at feeling his hand, even though it was separated by a towel, on your neck. Oh, and also by his words. You didn’t think he noticed you that much when he was Sturmhond.

Suddenly he looked up and you looked away.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc-

“You aren’t the Darkling. You saved me. Well I mean, drüskelle are strong, I admit, but they wouldn’t have been able to kill me.”

You could hear the grin on his face, it was attempt to lighten the mood, to see if you felt better.

“You’re power doesn’t determine what you are, Y/N, how you use it determines that. And as far as I’m concerned, you haven’t used it unjustly.” He curled his index finger under your chin and put his thumb on your chin to turn your head, so you’d finally be looking at him. “Don’t let your fear of your power determine your worth.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you got lost in his eyes. Yes, you were listening to him and it made your heart ache in a good way at hearing his words, but feeling his touch made it difficult to concentrate.

“Ok,” you whispered. You looked down, fully processing his words. You weren’t a monster. You weren’t a monster.

You weren’t a monster.

Noticing the sides of your lips slowly lift, Nikolai felt a small smile form on his face and lets go of your face. He failed to see how the sides of your lips slightly went down.

Feeling that the atmosphere felt more light, you attempted to make a joke, “Well, are you just going to sit there?”

“Hm?” Nikolai raises an eyebrow at your question. Did you want him out…?

“You’re not going to join me?”

Without missing a beat, Nikolai speaks up, “Do you want me to?” It wasn’t meant to be teasing, but it easily came off as such.

Fully expecting Nikolai to say something a little more…bold, his nonchalant yet teasing question caused you to look away from him, again, feeling embarrassed at your bold “joke.”

Nikolai lets out a laugh that makes you swoon. Saints, the affect this man had on you was embarrassing.

“Saints Y/N, if you’re going to flirt then at least commit to it.” He says, mirroring your previous conversation.

You turn your head back at him and take a moment to figure out what you want to say in return, you decide to say something you’ve heard before. Leaning slightly towards him but still managing to cover your cleavage, you say, “Is that what you want? For me to commit? To you.”

Nikolai freezes completely, not sure how to react to that. Yes, he wants you to commit, he wants you, but do you want him? He’s sure that he’s been interpreting your feelings as romantic correct, but he still had that thought of just maybe, maybe he was wrong.

Nikolai was never one to back off from a challenge however, so he leans forward and rests his forearms of his knees; leaning in closer to your face, “Yes,” he says, “I do.”

He brings one his hands up to the side of your face and cups it, leaning in closer but leaving enough room to still be able to back away if he was reading this all wrong. He looks into your eyes and practically pleads for your approval, for you to let him kiss you.

When all you do is lean closer, Nikolai fully closes the distance and connects his lips with yours.

As one could expect from a kiss with Nikolai, it was passionate and loving and deep. You could feel how deep his feelings for you ran and you could feel all of his feelings. Growing impatient, for some reason, Nikolai grabbed the back of you neck to deepen the kiss. He brought his other hand up to your bottom lip and brushed it down. Realizing what he wanted, you opened your mouth and to your surprise; Nikolai whined into the kiss.

Finding it funny that Nikolai was a whiner, you began to laugh. It started with small giggles but then turned into actual laughs causing Nikolai to pull away and slightly deadpan at you.

When you didn’t stop laughing, Nikolai leaned back and let out a sigh, opting to just let you finish laughing.

“Sorry, sorry, just didn’t take you as a whiner,” you say before you burst out laughing again.

Nikolai continued to watch you laugh with a slightly annoyed, but adoring, expression before brushing your hair out of your face. “You know, you never answered my question.”

You wipe fake tears out of your eyes as you try to calm down, “huh?”

“When I asked if you wanted me to commit to you, you never gave me an answer.”

“I think my answer is quite obvious now.” You let out a soft laugh before Nikolai spoke again.

“Yes well, I want to hear it.” Nikolai leans forwards again but not as close as before, just close enough to where he could you whisper yell, “I want to hear that you want me.” He finishes with a slight smirk.

You look away from him, getting flustered again. He really wanted to hear you profess your feelings for him, huh.

As you were getting flustered you remembered that Nikolai was a whiner. As much as you wanted Nikolai, he was arguably more desperate for you. So why not tease him a little more?

You leaned forward again, not bothering to cover your cleavage anymore, and pressed your lips onto his, but not necessarily kissing him. “Alright my prince,” you whisper out. The smirk on his lips immediately drop as he tries to kiss you again but then you pull away, and before he could whine again, you leaned forward again. “I want you to commit to me. I want you.” Nikolai could barely focus at feeling your lips brush onto his, feeling as if he didn’t kiss you right here right now, he’d go crazy.

Feeling smug, you pull away from him to which he immediately follows. He puts his hand on the back of your neck once again and pulls you forward, connecting your lips again.

He groaned this time at the feeling of your lips on his.

#nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov fanfic #shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfic #nikolai x reader #siege and storm #nikolai lantsov imagines #nikolai lantsov imagine #nikolai lantsov x you #grishaverse #shadow and bone x reader

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doberbutts · 2 months

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(Some other guy entirely here) I do think there's not much of a reason to be so against the terms tma/tme though, and I don't really understand why some people are? Like, in the same way we want a word to describe our experiences so do transfems, and while I do believe that all trans people are affected by transphobia and misogyny, it's obviously also true that we're affected by it differently depending on how we present, cause otherwise we'd all be satisfied with just the term transphobia (not saying anything new here so far)

So, since it just so happened that the term transmisogyny was coined to mean specifically the oppression transfems face (regardless of what anyone might feel on the matter, that is what it means in practice), what's really so wrong with having terminology to specify whether you're affected by it or not in online discussions of specifically transmisogyny? I'd think that would be relevant enough information, and you're not obligated to share it unless you want to.

I think what's really bothering a lot of people is that these terms exist for half of our community but there's no acceptable equivalent for the other half, and there's constant backlash against attempts to fill that void in the language. But that's not the fault of anyone who advocates for the use of tme/tma, or rather, they are separate issues that I don't believe should be conflated even if the proponents of tme/tma are the same people who are against specific terms for transmasc oppression.

When we do this, from the pov of trans women we are the ones rejecting their terminology and trying to silence them when they talk about their discrimination, and since we know exactly how that feels, I think we as a community should take a step back on the matter and just let it be.

Just because we feel dismissed when it comes to a similar matter doesn't mean we should dismiss in turn.

Not that anyone needs my permission or anything for this but:

I don't really have any problem with the words transmisogyny or trans-misogyny, as I think they are valuable labels to discuss a specific intersection of transphobia and misogyny.

I am not sure I necessarily have a problem with the terms TMA or TME themselves, outside of that I think it is not possible to be exempt from oppression because it will apply to you even if the label itself is wrong. This is also how hate crime and discrimination law works in this country- it is both your label and what the offender thinks of you, not just one or the other.

In other words, the guy who screamed at me about how I'm a Mexican is incorrect because I'm not Mexican, but it is still considered to be discrimination against Mexicans because it was his hatred of Mexicans that fueled the attack. It doesn't mean that actual Mexicans aren't the actual targets or this, but it does mean that it's not possible for me to be exempt from anti-Mexican sentiment. It doesn't mean that hatred of Mexicans doesn't exist, it does mean that if I want to stop getting screamed at for saying non-English words while visibly brown (I said pate, which is FRENCH and not Spanish, in reference to a can of dog food he was buying), then I need to ally myself with Mexicans and see what I can do to help decrease this hatred of Mexicans within my country.

What I do have a problem with is how these words are used and applied.

Caster Semenya is a "TME" intersex woman who was caught by transmisogynist Olympic rulings intended to hurt trans women, and to this day is still not recognized as a woman. How is this exempt from transmisogyny? She is literally being affected by transmisogyny- and interphobia, and misogynoir, and lesbophobia. And there are more examples than that, but this will already be a long enough post.

Moreover, I'm finding a lot of hypocrisy in the theory itself, labeling certain instances of oppression as things only TMA people experience and then refusing to listen when TME people say that they experience it too. I don't really care what or how people talk about their own experiences, but I do think it's a little ridiculous to be told that someone else who is not me can tell me what I experience better than I can. And then refuse to listen when I say that I have felt the hurts they're saying don't apply to me.

If TMA/TME had stayed within the limits you've set, being about descriptors of your own personal experience rather than trying to apply theory to entire demographics in a way that very little other theorycrafting does, I wouldn't have cared. Unfortunately that's not how it's being used and I don't like that.

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longreads · 8 months

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The Memory Picture

In helping her grandparents to make their own funeral arrangements, Maggie Levantovskaya reflects on the complicated luxury of being able to prepare for death.

“Did you come from Ukraine?” my grandma asks, bringing the small talk to a stop.

I freeze. She has no problem saying what is on her mind, but this is not a provocation. My grandma’s voice is low, more plaintive than questioning. The funeral director has a name that couldn’t be more common in Ukraine, but names get stuck to us in different ways and they don’t necessarily correspond to politics. My mother told me that this neighborhood has many Putinists and that one can’t be sure of the response when uttering the word “Ukraine” in Russian. Some people let out tears pooling below the surface, while others shrug and make vague statements about propaganda. The funeral director says he had a grandma who came over long ago.

My grandma shakes her head and says, “This war, if someone told me, I would not believe them.”

He nods, his face a solemn mask. I understand now why she asked him. She had the urge to know whose hands she’d put her body in.

Check out The Memory Picture.

#longreads #personal essay #ukraine #funeral #funeral arrangements

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jennamoran · 3 months

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The Far Roofs: Systems

Hi!

Today I’m going to talk a little bit more about my forthcoming RPG, the Far Roofs. More specifically, I want to give a general overview of its game mechanics!

So the idea that first started the Far Roofs on the road to being its own game came out of me thinking a lot about what large projects feel like.

I was in one of those moods where I felt like the important thing in an RPG system was the parallel between that system and real-world experience. Where I felt like the key to art was always thinking about the end goal, or at least a local goal, as one did the work; and, the key to design was symmetry between the goals and methods, the means and ends.

I don't always feel that way, but it's how I work when I'm feeling both ambitious and technical.

So what I wanted to do was come up with an RPG mechanic that was really like the thing it was simulating:

Finding answers. Solving problems. Doing big things.

And it struck me that what that felt like, really, was a bit like ...

You get pieces over time. You wiggle them around. You try to fit them together. Sometimes, they fit together into larger pieces and then eventually a whole. Sometimes you just collect them and wiggle them around until suddenly there's an insight, an oh!, and you now know everything works.

The ideal thing to do here would probably be having a bag of widgets that can fit together in different ways---not as universally as Legos or whatever, but, like, gears and connectors and springs and motors and whatever. If I were going to be building a computer game I would probably think along those lines, anyway. You'd go to your screen of bits and bobs and move them around with your mouse until it hooked together into something that you liked.

... that's not really feasible for a tabletop RPG, though, at least, not with my typical financial resources. I could probably swing making that kind of thing, finding a 3d printing or woodworking partner or something to make the pieces, for the final kickstarter, but I don't have the resources to make a bunch of different physical object sets over time while I'm playtesting.

So the way I decided that I could implement this was by drawing letter tiles.

That I could do a system where you'd draw letter tiles ... not constantly, not specifically when you were working, but over time; in the moments, most of all, that could give you insight or progress.

Then, at some point, you'd have enough of them.

You'd see a word.

That word'd be your answer.

... not necessarily the word itself, but, like, what the word means to you and what the answer means to you, those would be the same.

The word would be a symbol for the answer that you've found, as a player and a character.

(The leftover letters would then stick around in your hand, bits of thought and experience that didn't directly lead to a solution there, but might help with something else later on.)

Anyway, I figured that this basic idea was feasible because, like, lots of people own Scrabble sets. Even if you don't, they're easier to find than sets of dice!

For a short indie game focused on just that this would probably have been enough of a mechanic all on its own. For a large release, though, the game needed more.

After thinking about it I decided that what it wanted was two more core resolution systems:

One, for stuff like, say ... kickstarter results ... where you're more interested in "how well did this do?" or "how good of an answer is this?" than in whether those results better fit AXLOTL or TEXTUAL. For this, I added cards, which you draw like letter tiles and combine into poker hands. A face card is probably enough for a baseline success, a pair of Kings would make the results rather exciting, and a royal flush result would smash records.

The other core system was for like ... everyday stuff. For starting a campfire or jumping a gap. That, by established RPG tradition, would use dice.

...

I guess technically it didn't have to; I mean, like, most of my games have been diceless, and in fact we've gotten to a point in the hobby where that's just "sort of unusual" instead of actually rare.

But, like, I like dice. I do. If I don't use them often, it's because I don't like the empty page of where to start in the first place building a bespoke diced system when I have so many good diceless systems right there.

... this time, though, I decided to just go for it.

The Dice System

So a long, long time ago I was working on a game called the Weapons of the Gods RPG. Eos Press had brought me in to do the setting, and somewhere in the middle of that endeavor, the game lost its system.

I only ever heard Eos' side of this, and these days I tend to take Eos' claims with a grain of salt ... but, my best guess is that all this stuff did happen, just, with a little more context that I don't and might not ever know?

Anyway, as best as I remember, the first writer they had doing their system quit midway through development. So they brought in a newer team to do the system, and halfway through that the team decided they'd have more fun using the system for their own game, and instead wrote up a quick alternate system for Weapons of the Gods to use.

This would have been fine if the alternate system were any good, but it was ... pretty obviously a quick kludge. It was ...

I think the best word for it would be "bad."

I don't even like the system they took away to be their own game, but at least I could believe that it was constructed with love. It was janky but like in a heartfelt way.

The replacement system was more the kind of thing where if you stepped in it you'd need a new pair of shoes.

It upset me.

It upset me, and so, full wroth, I decided to write a system to use for the game.

Now, I'd never done a diced system before at that point. My only solo game had been Nobilis. So I took a bunch of dice and started rolling them, to see ... like ... what the most fun way of reading them was.

Where I landed, ultimately, was looking for matches.

The core system for Weapons of the Gods was basically, roll some number of d10s, and if you got 3 4s, that was a 34. If you got 2 9s, that was a 29. If your best die was a 7 and you had no pairs at all, you got 1 7. 17.

It didn't have any really amazing statistical properties, but the act of rolling was fun. It was rhythmic, you know, you'd see 3 4s and putting them together into 34 was a tiny tiny dopamine shot at the cost of basically zero brain effort. It was pattern recognition, which the brain tends to enjoy.

I mean, obviously, it would pall in a few minutes if you just sat there rolling the dice for no reason ... but, as far as dice rolling goes, it was fun.

So when I went to do an optional diced system for the Chuubo's Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine RPG, years later, to post here on tumblr ... I already knew what would make that roll fun. That is, rolling a handful of dice and looking for matches.

What about making it even more fun?

... well, critical results are fun, so what about adding them and aiming to have a lot of them, though still like rare enough to surprise?

It made sense to me to call no matches at all a critical failure, and a triple a critical success. So I started fiddling with dice pool size to get the numbers where I wanted them.

I'm reconstructing a bit at this point, but I imagine that I hit 6d10 and was like: "these are roughly the right odds, but this is one too many dice to look at quickly on the table, and I don't like that critical failure would be a bit more common than crit success."

So after some wrestling with things I wound up with a dice pool of 5d6, which is the dice pool I'm still using today.

If you roll 5d6, you'll probably get a pair. But now and then, you'll get a triple (or more!) My combinatorics is rusty, so I might have missed a case, but, like ... 17% of the time, triples, quadruples, or quintuples? And around 9% chance, for no matches at all?

I think I was probably looking for 15% and 10%, that those were likely my optimum, but ... well, 5d6 comes pretty close. Roughly 25% total was about as far as I thought I could push critical results while still having them feel kind or rare. Like ...

If I'm rolling a d20 in a D&D-like system, and if I'm going to succeed on an 18+, that's around when success is exciting, right? Maybe 17+, though that's pushing it? So we want to fall in the 15-20% range for a "special good roll." And people have been playing for a very long time now with the 5% chance of a "1" as a "special bad roll," and that seemed fine, so, like, 20-25% chance total is good.

And like ...

People talk a lot about Rolemaster crit fail tables in my vicinity, and complain about the whiff fests you see in some games where you keep rolling and rolling and nothing good or bad actually happens, and so I was naturally drawn to pushing crit failure odds a bit higher than you see in a d20-type game.

Now, one way people in indie circles tend to address "whiff fests" is by rethinking the whole dice-rolling ... paradigm ... so you never whiff; setting things up, in short, so that every roll means something, and every success and failure mean something too.

It's a leaner, richer way of doing things than you see in, say, D&D.

... I just didn't feel like it, here, because the whole point of things was to make dice rolling fun. I wanted people coming out of traditional games to be able to just pick up the dice and say "I'm rolling for this!" because the roll would be fun. Because consulting the dice oracle here, would be fun.

So in the end, that was the heart of it:

A 5d6 roll, focusing on the ease of counting matches and the high but not exorbitant frequency of special results.

But at the same time ...

I'm indie enough that I do really like rolls where, you know, every outcome is meaningful. Where you roll, and there's never a "whiff," just a set of possible meaningful outcomes.

A lot of the time, where I'm leaning into "rolls are fun, go ahead and roll," what it means to succeed, to fail, to crit, all that's up to the group, and sometimes it'll be unsatisfying. Other times, you'll crit succeed or crit fail and the GM will give you basically the exact same result as you'd have gotten on a regular success or failure, just, you know, jazzing up the description a bit with more narrative weight.

But I did manage to pull out about a third of the rolls you'll wind up actually making and assign strong mechanical and narrative weight to each outcome. Where what you were doing was well enough defined in the system that I could add some real meat to those crits, and even regular success and regular failure.

... though that's a story, I think, to be told some other time. ^_^

#the far roofs #jenna moran #rpgs

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nanaminsmoon · 9 months

Note

Ngl that suburban eren & hood princess reader fic had me in SHAMBLESS #itwassooogood! If you have the time though it would be real cool to see how this duo became to be and how they met!

thank youu frenn!! this took a minute but i hope it's okay🤭

cw: pnv, unprotected sex, marking, eren being a dick, eren calls reader; 'princess', 'baby', 'good girl', n word usage,

wc: 3015

”but i can’t handle you, right?”, the irony in that statement came from the fact that both of eren’s hands sat on your hips, pulling you onto his dick to stop you running from it. you couldn't think of a single time you had been fucked this good. so, physically, you couldn’t take it. and that’s why your feet kept trying to save your sanity, and cervix, by shifting you from his grasp.

”n-no”, you shook your head at his question. eren’s frustration was palpable, because he had been hearing that he ‘couldn’t handle you’ for so long that it had grown into an obsession. partly due to its falsehood; eren knew he could handle you. if given the chance, he would handle you until your walls remembered every vein on his dick, and the hickies he had left on your body, made it uncomfortable for you to dress yourself in the morning. when those words had been said, in jest, by his friends, he was able to shrug them off. but that assumption had proved very difficult to evict from his shoulders once your lips were the ones it was exiting from.

a chance friendship between neighbouring grandparents, meant that you and eren found yourselves in the same friendship circle. levi was the one who introduced eren to everyone and, granted you mainly saw each other at functions, you had quickly caught eren’s attention. never one to go out, eren avoided parties at all costs. but, if alerted that you’d be attending, best believe he’d have his fit planned and laid out the night before. unfortunately for him, those adorations were not reciprocated, because you paid no attention to the boy. in your eyes, eren was a rich white kid hanging out with hood niggas as a way to pretend to be someone he’s not. when you’d brought that up to some of your other friends, they’d refuted it,

”nah, we cool wit’ eren”, ony had shaken his head at you. even after hearing that, your opinions concerning the brunette would remain unchanged, as you’d always see him as a spoiled white suburban boy who was using you and your friends to cosplay a lifestyle he didn't lead.

so, naturally, his liking towards you was never known to you, nor was it ever a concern. because, as mentioned, you did not care for the boy at all. it wasn’t necessarily disdain, just apathy. and a part of eren knew that, but no amount of awareness could stop his eyes from glossing over every time they landed on you. nor could it stop the corners of his mouth from rising when the sight of your laughing form graced his pupils. everyone around him could see it, and half of your friends thought it to be cute and laughed it off. but others decided to take it upon themselves to save him from the impending heartache sure to come when you inevitably rejected him. eren didn’t understand and whenever he did question their rationale, he’d always get the same answer,

”she just likes her niggas a little…rough around the edges”, ony had once answered, to which eren’s face screwed in outraged confusion.

”okay?”, eren questioned, not understanding why that preference meant you could never like him specifically.

”he’s saying you’re too soft”, levi clarified jokingly, and when eren looked to see ony nodding in confirmation, an indignated scoff would leave his mouth. eren kept to himself, so no one knew what he was like behind closed doors. not to say that the difference between those two versions of himself were vast, it’s just that everyone just took what they saw of him in public as who he was as a whole. because eren was impassive, if people caused him problems, he was the type of guy to just walk away. and that was simply because he didn’t like giving his energy to those who don’t deserve it.

but to you, he wanted to give his energy and so much more. anything you wanted, he was willing to provide for you in the highest quality. every dollar of his parent’s money would be gathered and used to fulfil your every desire, if that’s what you requested. a chunk of his heart shifted to sit in his throat every single time he saw you, and that’s something he couldn’t ignore. the feeling was far too premature to be called ‘love’, but it excited him to know that it could get there, should it be given a chance for it to blossom freely. that’s why he chose to ignore all the ‘warnings’, and just walk up to you and, at least, try to spark up a conversation.

you couldn’t remember where you had heard it first, but once the rumour was in the air, it festered. that rumour being the one that claimed that the green-eyed boy, who drove a tesla, was supposedly in love with you. once one person said it, it became people’s primary method of greeting you. and every single time, it’d be met with unbothered snickers, and eye rolls, from yourself,

”the fuck’s that gotta do with me?”, you had laughed out. it wasn’t just because you thought he was poser, but he just wasn’t your type. it was no secret that you an affinity for pretty boys, but eren was too pretty. he was disney prince pretty, and he had the manner to match it. now, there’s nothing wrong with a well-mannered man, but eren spoke with his chest concaved, and moved like he feared taking up space. meaning he was a terrible match for you, because you needed a nigga who could put you in your place, and wouldn’t just cower in front of you and let you bitch him around.

that being said, the only thing about eren that you didn’t take issue with was his princely good looks. because eren was fine, and you were able to admit that. not publicly, but you were able to acknowledge it, even if you’d never express it to anyone with working ears. you some may argue that the moment that you got close to saying it aloud was caused by people inflating your head with thoughts of him. that had been the moment you looked up to the door, leading to the kitchen you and your friends were sat at to get away from the rest of the party, to see eren stood, hands in his pockets, and eyes practically cutting you in half with how harsh they were looking. in the place of the compliment that you nearly blurted out, came a deep breath before you turned to look away from him. eren would take notice of your reaction, and that’s what would encourage him to walk over to you. you'd see him move, but his destination would be a mystery to you, until you felt a nudge to your side followed by a joke from your friend,

”your boyfriend’s here”, she nodded in his direction and, once you saw what she was nodding at, you rolled your eyes. the next time you’d look to eren, he’d be stood right in front of you with a friendly smile on his face,

”hey.”, he said, raising a hand. you’d manage to hear him over the music, but you wouldn’t give him much.

”hm”, was the only response he got from you, further cementing the notion that speaking to you wouldn’t be easy. but that wouldn’t stop him from trying.

”i…uh…i’m eren”, he said, more nervously than he had intended. the fear of you thinking he was too soft made him nervous, inadvertently making him seem more cowardly than he was. everyone’s assumptions about his character were being confirmed in your mind, and seeing it on your face made his nerves rise.

”y/n.”, you said, and he nodded as if he wasn’t already aware.

”nice to meet you”, he replied. though not formally, the both of you had met before. meaning that you knew of each other, but had never really spoken. so you weren’t exactly comfortable with each other, nor were you keen on getting to that point.

”the fuck d’you want, my nigga?”, you asked and, having only ever known you to be a bubbly person, the austerity of your words surprised eren.

”just wanted to tell you that you’re really pretty”, he said, and your lips did threaten to form a flattered smile, and you’d let them get halfway before you decided to shut him down.

”thanks, but you’re not my type”, the signal that the conversation was over, came in the form of a smile toward the brunette before you turned to face your friend. but eren wouldn't let that discourage him, and he’d just speak to the side of your face.

”they said you’d say that. but…just give me a chance”, his words would make you smirk, because their nature seemed brash, yet they had no air of confidence about them. uneasy green eyes would see you lean to whisper something to your friend, who’d laugh once she heard what you said.

”you can’t handle me, babe”, you challenged, straightening your posture and crossing your arms. a laugh would resound from beside you, as your friend examined eren’s dumbfounded expression.

that interaction would lead to your hands on a bathroom sink, gripping on for dear life. once bored with the flesh around your hips, one of eren’s hands would wrap around your torso to press on the bulge his dick was making in your stomach. his bottom lip would be between his teeth, as he bit back all the pleasure your own was causing him. to you, eren was fucking you with this much vigour as a means of proving something. but eren knew that the reason for his pace, was the fact that his daydreams had come into manifestation. displays his brain had aroused, every time he looked at you, were pressed against his chest, and reflected off the mirror in front of him. in fact, none of it would feel real if it wasn't for his daydream tightening around him in a way that his subconscious could never conceive.

any preconceived notions you had held about eren, had been fucked out of your brain, to spill into the basin underneath you. the ferocity of his thrusts was allowing no time for you to even think, or question the way you once thought of him. and, if pleasure wasn't securing your eyes shut, you would see that the man behind you had been in front of you all this time and you had made the mistake of bypassing him. at first, eren had asked you to meet his eyes in the mirror in front of you, to test your resolve. but the sound of your exposed ass cheeks meeting his hip bone, invited his attention to its origin. his eyes would invite his hand to join them, and it'd accept and move to massage, and slap at, the skin there—admiring the way it recoiled upon meeting his hand.

one of his hands would be on your jaw, and the sight of your skin meeting, inadvertently made him fuck you harder than he had ever intended to. the sight of it made his hips move faster to chase the release the sight of the ring at the base of his dick teased him with. but, in your mind, this man was fucking all his resentment toward you into your womb. weakness encompassed your every limb to the point where even the fingers holding on to your only support were beginning to cramp and give out. the dick was so good, you had forgotten who was fucking you, until you looked at him in the mirror. prince charming had developed a villainous streak, and you could feel it in your stomach. at that moment, there’s nothing you wanted more than to turn around and leave a trail of lip gloss stains starting on his face, moving to his neck, and making a pit stop on his thighs as you moved down to take his length in your mouth. aided by eren, those thoughts would edge you closer and closer to your end,

”shit, you’re so fucking tight for me, baby”, he said, groaning at the feeling of your walls squeezing his length.

”’rrren, i’m gonna cumm”, your back arched off his chest, as you heard your own moans bouncing off the bathroom tiles to slap you on any exposed skin eren wasn’t already holding.

”be a good girl and beg me for it.”, eren’s lips grazed against your ear, before he kissed your lobe—moving to kiss down the side of your neck, and bite down on it. his eyes would flicker to your reflection, and you’d see his lips smile around the skin they were covering. you wanted to maintain your facade of immovability so bad, but eren’s actions were only making you moan more.

”fff-fuck you”, you’d chide, gripping onto the porcelain even harsher, and cursing under your breath. eren would organise his lips into a pout as he feigned offence.

”that’s not very nice”, his face looked hurt, but his hastening hips suggested otherwise. eren wasn't just doing this to spite you, but to also get you closer to your end, so you'd concede faster,

”you bein’ real mean for someone who’s crying for more dick”, he began kissing on your neck again, biting harder this time. there was no time to be in pain, because it all just felt so good. this man barely knew you, but he understood your body in a way only a lover should.

”i’m not c-crying”, you said, and a smug scoff would leave eren's shining lips, before they'd wobble dramatically in imitation of your own. hiding your bottom lip in between your teeth, you'd look down at your feet in embarrassment. the eren you were seeing, differed so much from the eren you had known, that the knot in your stomach couldn't help but tighten. the only word to describe him, was ‘mean’. and you had to question if this was just an act but, looking at how his expressions didn’t change at seeing your teary eyes, you knew that this is who he'd always been. with this epiphany, you knew you'd become the one to chase him, as opposed to your dynamic thus far.

”y-you’re n-n-not?”, he mocked, copying your fucked out stutter, ”then what’s this, baby?”, he wiped a falling tear from your face, its resting place soon being occupied by a gentle kiss. that iota of kindness would coerce a blissful sigh from your lips.

”just say please, princess, and i’ll give it to you”, eren said, quietly. he had expected more backtalk, but he’d be surprised to find that your mouth would open to adhere without hesitation.

”pleasee”, you whined, blinking out more tears, and eren tsked before grabbing your jaw and turning you to face him,

”please what, baby?”, he said, placing a sweet kiss on your lips that almost erased the actions of the man behind you from your memory. but once you felt his eyes pierce through you when he pulled back, it'd all come flooding back. you’d obey, and the place his tip reached caused a raise in the volume of your voice.

”let me cummmm, pleaseee”, you said. a small smile would be on eren's face as he moved to place one more kiss on your forehead. then your wishes would be granted when he wrapped a hand around you to rub your clit. overstimulation to that degree had always been a myth to you, but it was hard to deny it when you could feel it dripping down your leg to trickle onto the floor beneath your bodies. an army of goosebumps was raised to attention all over you, but eren would be seemingly unphased by it. or, at least, that's what you'd initially thought. but, looking at his reflection, you could see the concentration his face, and you could feel his fingertips digging deeper into your skin, telling you that he was close too.

”gonna let me nut in you?”, he asked, against the heated skin on your neck, and you'd pose no contention. even if you hadn't been nodding furiously, your want for his nut was evident in the way you were moving back on him, using yourself to get him off.

”i need it, eren, pleaseee”, you crooned, drawing a prideful smirk from eren. the sight of you using your body to get him off, did half of the work for you. in fact, if you didn't feel so fucking good, it could've made him nut on its own.

”look how good you’re being for me”, his smirk touched your temple as he kissed it. desperation to please would move your head in a nod and, soon, the reward for your good behaviour would spread warmly inside you as eren held your hips to a standstill. his head would be rested on your shoulder, commencing a few seconds of quiet filled only by muffled music and heavy breaths. when eren did lift his head to watch you in the mirror, he'd see you still trying to catch your breath,

”y’know you’re easier to handle than you think”, he chortled, before you'd both be wincing at him pulling out of you.

#nanaminsmooninc #aot x black reader #aot x black y/n #eren x black fem!reader #eren x black reader #eren x black y/n #aot eren #eren smut #eren x you

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