1.12 Faith
-when Sam calls John, he won’t actually ask for help with Dean even though that’s why he’s calling. He tells him Dean is sick and that he will figure something out. He doesn’t have faith in John as someone he can count on or ask for help. Sam has a hard time in general asking for help. He’s learning how to do this with Dean.
-is he relearning how to ask Dean for help after being on his own at college or has it always been hard for him?
-Dean says You can’t save me and Sam says “watch me.” Sam is very good at going his own way and defying authority. He’s resourceful.
-another rom com moment when Dean shows up at Sam’s door
-this moment is so funny to me
Sam’s like, hehe Dean you’re silly I will never let you die. Ever :)
Psycho <3
-Sam is hovering and touching Dean protectively a lot and Dean is so ornery about it even though he’d do the exact same thing with Sam. He hates feeling vulnerable at all, and Sam is his greatest vulnerability, so he doesn’t want Sam touching him. Or he really wants Sam touching him and can’t cope with that on the best of days.
-it must be hard for Dean to be around Sam and physically incapable of protecting him
-Dean “lets look into the fact that a guy my exact age died of the exact thing I was healed from at the exact time I was healed” versus Sam “nah let’s just leave” Winchester
-Sam’s like I’m sorry Dean 🥺🥺 not about trading your life for someone else’s which I’d do a hundred times, but that you’re upset now 🥺
-Dean points out that the preacher’s wife was “desperate, her husband was dying,”
This also describes Sam, desperate, whose husband was dying.
-Sam saves Dean’s life by getting his heart healed. He spent days on end awake researching any possible way to save Dean. He can see that Dean is scared and doesn’t want to die, but a part of Dean wants to give up.
Dean feels like he’s living on borrowed time and struggles with whether he deserves to be alive for quite a while after this. He doesn’t think he’s good enough- he still feels that John is the better hunter, he’s just sorta swallowing John’s abandonment, and he fears Sam will leave him again when they find John.
He doesn’t see how much Sam needs and loves him. He will need to see that in order to feel worthy and choose to live.
At the beginning of the episode Dean thought Sam couldn’t save him and Sam said “watch me.” This episode doesn’t resolve that in a way that’s satisfying because Dean rejects the way he was saved, but that’s because his arc isn’t over and what he really needs to be saved from is more internal. Sam will save Dean by showing him he’s worthy.
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