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pianokantzart · 5 months

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By The Numbers (Pt. 2)

Luigi hoped to use one of his own special talents to give the Super Mario Bros. Plumbing company the leg-up it needed to succeed. But as usual, for all his good intentions, the younger of The Mario Brothers finds himself in over his head.

Part one: X Part three: X

Also available on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52624285/chapters/133658035#workskin

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Once more, Luigi’s eyes darted around in search of his brother. In the half-second it took for him to remember he was alone, his mind clung to Mario's name and face, and held to it like it was the only thing that existed in the world. He remembered when he was smaller, shuddering at everything from leashed dogs, to rumbling thunder, to overzealous distant relatives. He would clutch at his brother’s hand and press close, and Mario would smile at him with a big grin, full of holes from all the baby teeth they worked together to knock free.

“I got ya’!” That was what he’d usually say, taking on the intonation of one of the many superheroes he loved to watch on TV, beaming with pride in his own bravery.

He grew braver as they grew older, while Luigi merely found new methods of holding himself together. The words “sensitive” turned into less forgiving words: sap, sissy, pushover, wuss, crybaby.

In fifth grade, he and his brother stumbled home from school covered in bruises for the first time. That was when their dad first taught them to throw a punch.

As obedient and attentive as Luigi was, Mario was far more eager to put the newfound knowledge into practice, and practice he did… over and over and over. If ever some inflated ego leapt upon Luigi’s meekness like a shark smelling blood in the water, Mario came out swinging. ___ Luigi barely kept his footing as he was thrust into a barely lit corridor deep within the subway, all but abandoned and perfectly empty in the early morning hours. His freedom was short lived. The moment he tried to retreat the ringleader took hold of him once more, one hand snatching his shirt collar as the other seized his sleeve. In a sleight of hand trick that, in any other circumstance, Luigi would have admired, the man pulled an ace of clubs from Luigi’s wrist cuff. “See?” Warren said, waving the card toward his three companions, “Told’ ya he cheated.” Warren. That was his name… the large man with the golden lapel pin; bad at poker, good at sleight of hand. Luigi had managed to overhear some of the muttered conversations while he was dragged away. The three others– who had thus far gone nameless– were uninvolved in last night’s gambling, but interested in helping Warren “settle the score.”

At once, the three were upon Luigi, tugging at his clothes in search of more hidden aces. “Wait! W-ait!” Luigi tried to argue, his voice hitching on every yank and shove, “The dealer would’ve noticed if I had played any extra caRDS-” A vicious tug on his vest broke off his sentence and one of his little golden buttons. Luigi bent down and tried to retrieve it from the ground, but before he could his left sleeve was gripped, yanked, and ripped along the length of the cuff, nearly dislocating Luigi's arm in the process “Ow! A-and even if he didn’t!” Luigi continued, trying in vain to guard his suit from further damage, “There were cameras on us the whole time! Surely someone would’ve noticed if– hey!” Luigi’s argument was halted when his hat was snatched from his head. He instinctively lurched to grab it back, but the two men on either side of him held tight to his shoulders while the third nameless thug turned the green cap inside out, gripped the inner lining, and began to rip it away, much to Luigi’s horror.

“No! Don’t! Not the hat! My Mom made that for me!” This sentiment caused all four confronters to erupt into gales of laughter, forgetting their fruitless search in order to mockingly yank at Luigi’s cheeks and ruffle his hair.

“Awe, his mom made that for him!” “Oh no! Did you hear that? Not his mom!” “Awe, is Mommy dearest going to chew you out?”

Luigi’s breath quickened. His cheeks turned red and hot as a tiny ember of anger flared up amidst his panic. Teeth grit, he redoubled his efforts to escape, yanking with all his might against his captors to the point that one of them was nearly knocked off his feet.

He was on the verge of wrenching a limb free when Warren, who had mostly stayed off to the side during the ordeal, charged him.

The plumber hardly had time to see the danger coming when a ham-sized fist slammed into his stomach, calloused knuckles blunted with golden rings knocking the fight clean out of him in one fierce, world-shattering blow.

‘Oh, he definitely has boxing experience’ drifted through Luigi’s mind in a moment of disconnect before the pain of the impact crumpled him to the ground, gagging and coughing, desperate to both reintroduce air to his lungs and keep dinner in his concussed stomach.

___

By ninth grade, their father was reconsidering the lessons he’d taught when Mario came home with a black eye and disciplinary note curled up in his raw fist. A classmate had shoved Luigi into a locker hard enough to send him to the ground in a mess of books and papers. Mario, predictably, leapt upon the bully like an angry cougar.

“Have you lost your mind? Did you think for even a second before doing anything?” Luigi heard his fathers frustrated voice through the thin wall of their home. Pressing his ear up against the wallpaper, he heard his brother respond, equal in tone and volume.

“I was just trying to protect him.” “Stop using him as an excuse! Luigi’s never gonna stand up for himself if you do all the standing up for him.” “He shouldn’t have to!” “Look at yourself, Mario! You're gonna get torn apart if you try to be his shield your entire life.” Things fell quiet for a moment. Their Dad was the first to break the silence, now speaking far more calmly as Luigi heard the disciplinary note crinkle in his hands.

“A week of out-of-school suspension won’t look good on any college application, but short-term it’s probably for the best. Luigi needs to learn to fight his own battles, and you need to learn to control yourself.” Stepping back from the wall, Luigi sat down and thought it over, letting the guilt swim deep inside his stomach as tears pricked the corners of his eyes. He wanted to do better. He intended to do better. He imagined a week where he stood firm, bracing against stray shoves and kicks with raised fists and an unwavering glare, the way his brother did. Be a man for once.

He didn’t, of course. He spent the next seven days on high alert, keeping his head down and his mouth shut, careful to avoid any hallway where danger lurked, spending lunch hours helping teachers shelve books and clean erasers. When the bell rang he dove into the center of his throng of peers to stay carefully hidden from view until he made it to the little light post right outside of school grounds, where his brother stood waiting for him at the end of every day so they could walk home together.

"So, what happened today?" Mario asked, eager to keep a tally of whoever needed to face justice when he returned to school. Luigi shrugged. "Nothing," he said, quietly and truthfully, eyes fixed to the sky overhead.

___

“Did you hear what I said?” Luigi felt his hat returned to his head and shoved over eyes by the same large hand that knocked him to the ground. “What did you do with my money?”

“Put- … put it away.” Luigi wheezed, grasping to create some sort of response as he still reeled from pain and fear. The few words he could whisper out proved coherent enough for Warren.

“Should’ve figured. A guy as smart as you knows not to carry that much cash around, huh?”

Luigi let out an audible whimper. Scattered laughter rippled through the nameless three before Warren continued. “I’m sure you won’t mind accompanying us to the nearest ATM? Get me my cash back, plus a bit of interest for all the trouble you’ve caused. Sound fair?”

Luigi felt something ice cold and agonizingly sharp pressing up against the side of his neck. He couldn’t see it, his hat was still held firmly over his eyes, but he had a guess about what it was. Message received: this was not a discussion.

“Sounds f-fair.”

And with that, a half-dozen hands laid hold of him and yanked him to his feet. Once more he was dragged away, ushered hurriedly through the lighted subway tunnels and up the stairwell to the city streets above. For a moment, Luigi felt a glimmer of hope that he might encounter a police officer on patrol, or find some opportunity to break away from his captors in a crowded location, where they wouldn’t dare attack him so boldly or make good on that knife’s silent threat. But it was still early morning, and though it was the city that never slept there were small dingy back alleys that wasted away in uneasy slumber, where any desperate screams would be met with turned heads and shuttered windows.

___

By twelfth grade, Mario had better control of his impulses, no longer jumping fences, climbing scaffolding or starting fights, no matter how noble the reasons. If he or Luigi suffered a particularly cruel offense settling the score was reserved for outside of school property, where fewer and fewer had the gall to actually face Mario man-to-man. As much as he looked like a thirteen year old with a mustache, he hit like an oncoming train, and did not know when to back down.

Given his behavioral record and mediocre grades, Mario’s batting average had been his best hope for getting into college, but in truth he had no interest in it. A scholarship was beyond his grasp, and coming from a blue collar family he felt he belonged there, and was excited to take part.

He liked working with his hands. He like working with people, staying active and solving problems. He didn’t want to be the brains behind any operation, he wanted to be on site doing the heavy lifting. It was no mystery to anyone what trade most captured his interest. Mario was already tearing through instruction videos and old manuals about waterworks and pipe repair. It had reached a point that family and neighbors didn’t even need to call in a professional whenever the toilet got stopped up or the bathroom sink sprung a link. He seemed to have a real knack for plumbing, and every time, Luigi was there to hand him whatever tools he needed.

“There’s a new business that just opened up.” Uncle Arthur said one night at the dinner table. He slid two bright blue business cards across the table toward Mario and Luigi that sported a “Wrecking Crew” logo and a phone number. “They specialize in small-scale demolition, but they do construction too. They’re in dire need of workers, so I don’t think they'll think twice if you ask to apprentice under whatever plumbers they’ve got on hand. Keep at it, and after you two get licensed and rise in the ranks, you can make up to eighty grand annually.”

“Now hold on, we all know what Mario's big life goals are. What about this guy?” Uncle Tony chimed in, elbowing Luigi so hard he nearly choked on his lasagna.

When Luigi recovered from a coughing fit, he found all the eyes of the dinner table upon him. He coughed a little longer to buy himself time to think, embarrassed to admit hadn’t seriously considered it. Of course, it had crossed his mind now and again. It was all anyone talked about at school: graduation and plans for the future. But Luigi did not care what he did for a living, just so long as it paid a decent wage and gave decent hours, allowing him time to do his chores and tend to his hobbies. He was not a man of wild goals or lofty aspirations, he simply wanted to earn his keep, live his life, and be with his brother.

“That’s good money!” Luigi agreed, picking up the business card and looking it over, “I’m interested if Mario’s interested.”

“Interested!? Ha! Just wait Lu!” Mario exclaimed, talking with a mouth still half-full of salad in his excitement, “When we’re done, there won’t be a single slow drain or leaky pipe anywhere from Brooklyn to Queens!”

Luigi smiled wide. Mario’s adoration of what everyone else considered “mundane” was infectious. Where one saw a job, he always saw an opportunity to change the world for the better– to be a hero in what little ways he could. “I’ve got ya’!” Luigi exclaimed, reaching out for a fist bump that Mario eagerly returned, “Nobody stands a chance against The Super Mario Brothers!”

___

Behind a poorly lit gas station was an ATM machine, glowing gloomily just off from the alleyway that separated a derelict motel from a liquor store. Luigi was escorted into the presence of the screen’s eerie glow where bold white letters read PLEASE INSERT YOUR CARD across the smudged screen. He breathed a quivering sigh and tried to pull himself together, attempting to look on the bright side.

Easy come, easy go. For all he’d earned, it was only one night’s work. It was one very lucky night’s work, but he couldn’t expect that sort of good luck not to come with a retributive flash of bad luck to balance out the universe. Maybe he could keep just enough in his bank account to get his clothes fixed.

He reached into his vest for his debit card… … and his fingers slipped their way through a giant hole, where the seam at the bottom of the pocket had been ripped completely, no doubt the victim of the aggressive treatment his clothes received in the abandoned subway station.

He swallowed, and hoped with all his heart he misremembered. He checked his other vest pocket and his pants, growing more and more anxious as the men around him grew irritated.

“Looks like someone’s trying to buy himself some time.” Warren muttered with a tone in which Luigi could practically felt that blade being unsheathed.

“I’m not! My c-card! You… l must’ve dropped it!” He let out a stressed chuckle while keeping his eyes on the ATM screen.

PLEASE INSERT YOUR CARD

His hands went back through his empty pockets a second time as he felt the four closing in. The world spun and blurred as he tried to figure out his next move and calculate the odds. What could he say? What could he do? What was the likelihood Warren would make good on his threat? How many people had been killed for less? How many had he killed for less?

“Luigi!”

At first, Luigi thought the voice was nothing more than his imagination, but his captors perked up and turned to the source of the sound, so Luigi could not help but turn too.

His heart leapt and dropped in a conflicted dance of excitement and terror. There, standing on the darkened street corner, was a very angry looking Mario.

#my writing #Buckle in this one's chock full of headcanons and flashbacks #very much leaning in to the all-but-established canon that Luigi thinks about his brother a lot when in peril #fanfic #mario fanfic #super mario bros #super mario brothers #gambler luigi #Luigi #Mario

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weirdmarioenemies · 1 year

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Name: Sluggy

Debut: Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island

Sluggy is what I in the business like to call a Pathetic Lump! Obviously I mean that only affectionately and I love this thing to bits! A little blob is always a great kind of creature. Often they are just purely cute, too, no matter how unsanitary they may realistically be! Sluggy, however, has a simple, but key thing to stand out from other blobs. It has hairs! Not a funny hairdo or anything, just regular hairs, sticking out of it haphazardly. Clearly its OWN hairs, it even has eyelashes! But I think there is something so unwholesome about a blob that grows hair.

Sluggies come in two variations! Pinkish ones with red spots do not move much, but yellowish ones with blue spots do. I like the yellowish ones because I like yellow and blue! Sluggies are sticky rascals and will stick to ceilings, dripping down when Yoshi is underneath! They are not very threatening, but they are just creatures. They probably eat mold. Don’t need to be threatening to eat mold!

Sluggies look kind of similar to Fuzzies, don’t you think? A soft white shape with dot eyes and some hairs. Yoshi’s Island Fuzzies, are, of course, the hard psychadelic drug reference that’s fun for the whole family, making the entire world undulate around Yoshi on effect. Not like Sluggy at all...

But oh! Lookie here! An unused sprite of a balloon-like Sluggy, even MORE resembling a Fuzzy! You may think it silly for a slug to inflate and fly, but this is actually a clever reference to the real biological phenomenon of me just messing with you! Maybe Sluggies were originally going to fly, or Fuzzies were going to look like this?

Well, in early previews, Sluggy the Unshaven- the boss form which we have discussed previously- is referred to, in prerelease material as a Giant Watabo! This may seem meaningless, and that is because I forgot to mention that Fuzzy’s Japanese name is Watabo! It specifies it as a “cotton monster”, and that is just so strange to me. This is so clearly a Blob. Even the spots on the small unused sprite make me think Blob Mottles, you know? I do not like the idea of a cotton monster being gelatinous and transparent, with an organic heart. That is not what cotton is about! That would get the cotton all sticky! And bloody! Blech! I would not wear that stuff! I am glad they settled on these as slug creatures, but also fascinated at the shared conceptual lineage that may have existed...

After not appearing in Yoshi’s Island DS, Sluggies DO reappear in Yoshi’s New Island! Maybe everyone is too hard on this game. Look how identical the model is to the official art! Someone was a Classic Sluggy fan!

Sluggies have not made any other appearances, but I like this image used for a puzzle. Look at all these friends. You can tell they are friends because Sluggy and some ghosts left the safety of their dank crypts to join the fun in the sun! I just hope Sluggy is staying in the shade and using enough sunblock. I legitimately think it could get sunburn on its internal organs. What a wretched thought.

#sluggy #yoshis island #super mario world 2 Yoshis island #mario enemies #mario #yoshi #yoshi enemies #mod chikako

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jollyreginaldrancher · 2 months

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The yellowjackets as cousins (for the sake of shipping let's pretend the ones that date are second cousins and Yellowjackets is set in Alabama)

• Natalie's parents drop her off before the event starts and go off to do some last minute shit. She runs up to your room and jumps on you while you are still asleep to wake you up. She's that fucking cousin that doesn't let you have a moment of peace from the moment they show up to the moment they leave. Lowkey you love them though.

• Jackie is that cool older cousin who's home from college and is constantly checking her phone. She smells good and gifts everyone those showel gel/loofa/bath salts sets (not so much the bath salts anymore, since that time Natalie tried sniffing them)

Gets teased about having a clingy bf but she's texting Shauna the whole time.

• Shauna is the broody cousin who doesn't even wanna come to this stupid thing, she's not even gonna have fun so why can't her parents let her stay home? She ends up having fun and her parents have to drag her back to the car to get home at the end of the day.

• Taissa is the one that decides to take on babysitting or help out around the kitchen or whatever and usually has to be told to let loose and have fun because she's so type A she tries to organise shit she has no authority over. The smaller cousins do stacks on Taissa. Van usually starts the dogpile.

• Van is the laid-back cousin who sets up the video games and is beloved by all the tiny cousins. She clears everyone at Mario kart and smash bros and is the only one who can get Taissa to unwind. Taissa is the only one who can clear her in smash.

• Misty is that cousin who hangs out with the adults and tries to help around the kitchen all the time until her aunt forcibly drags her to the rec room (at the rich relatives' house) where everyone is playing board games and stuff. She finds a puzzle or a deck of cards and tries to get a game of solitaire going but some younger cousins decide to mess with her and she retaliates and ends up in a prank war.

• Mari is the younger cousin who fucks with everybody. Brings gag gifts and tries that fucking stick of chewing gum prank every. Goddamn. Holiday. You know which one I mean:

On the upside she packs a fucktonne of snacks which she shares if you're chill.

Her gum prank snapped one of Jackie's fake nails off once so Shauna retaliated by popping her inflatable duck. It was a whole thing.

• Lottie is petting all the pets. She's running around the house chasing the cat. She's not gonna pull its tail, she hasn't done that since she was two, but she will feed the dog under the table to try to win him over. She's the reason you have ants.

• Laura Lee's family is the one that insists on saying a prayer before every meal. Everyone else is messing around at the kids table but she's actually paying attention, or if it's in a different room, she's the one leading it. She's that one that hangs around the back of the group and acts like a moral compass. "Yeah Mr Sharpe's may have run over your bike Natalie but I don't think it's right to paint his dog red".

• Javi is the baby of the family and everyone is super protective and he is that kid that is just chill and will sit down and colour for fun and he gives out handmade gifts like macaroni necklaces and you all have matching friendship bracelets courtesy of Javi Martinez 🥹

• Travis is that asshole who takes his shit out on everyone else and ruins the vibe. His little brother tries to hang with him but he thinks he's too cool to give him the time of day and just pushes him away, and ends up sitting alone cause no one likes that he's an asshole. Most of the cousin jokes are about how he just needs to get laid. He usually just hogs some prime real estate on the couch and heckles everyone playing video games. Won't play anymore because the few times he tried after talking shit he got his ass summarily handed to him so now he just sits there and sooks and brags about how he could beat everyone if he wanted to, he's just taking it easy on everyone because he's nice. He's the biggest asshole there.

#yellowjackets #headcanons #hcs #mine #my babies #thoughts #Natalie Scatorccio #Misty Quigley #Shauna Shipmam #Jackie Taylor #Taissa Turner #Van Palmer #Mari Yellowjackets #Laura Lee yellowjackets #Javi Martinez #travis martinez

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