Car Crash
Genre: Fake dating, enemies to lovers
Tags/Warnings: idol!yn, idol!jihoon, gn!yn but they’re in a group with girls so interpret as you will (also sex), arguing, word count (all together) 35k words :(, Sungsoo exists which is always scary in fics, Jihoon’s kind of shy
Smut warnings: Reader is a bottom, dirty talk, teasing, Jihoon isn’t shy when they’re having sex, top!Jihoon, …mindbreak?, creampie, overstimulation, blowjob, fingering
Part One is here and after the very long wait of ten minutes here is the next part!
-
Part Two:
“Did you see this article?” You asked. You were lounging on Jihoon’s couch in his studio, just keeping him company while you waited for him to need you again to record the actual song. You two had been working on the demo for a few weeks and you finally had gotten the thumbs up from the company (and a glowing review from Bumzu) so now you two were recording the final version of it that would be on the single. Jihoon was mostly working on messing with what you two had already recorded and messing with the overlays.
“What article?” Jihoon asked. He didn’t look at you but he turned his head slightly in your direction as to indicate that he was listening.
“It’s about how long they think we’ve been together and what they think just started our relationship,” you replied. “We can tell from their adorable dates- chasing each other in the park and giggling over a shared plate of jjajangmyeon that the two are happy to finally be public about your relationship so we can assume that they might have even been together for years.”
Jihoon laughed, now turning his attention fully towards you.
“Together for years, huh?”
“And to think, Jeonghan kept saying we weren’t being convincing enough,” you agreed. “It’s so entertaining to read these. I learn a new thing about our relationship every day.”
Jihoon hummed; amusement still laced in his voice as he turned his attention back to the computer. You continued to read through the articles, trying to figure out what the media liked about you and Jihoon’s “relationship” and what they didn’t.
They had deemed you unabashed in the media. Claiming that you two were so proud of your relationship that the company didn’t dare give you any consequences. You were also praised for what you two were doing by coming forward with your relationship. Now in the ranks with that of Hyuna and Dawn and Momo and Heechul, people thought you two were brave for trying to normalize idols in relationships. It had brought both your groups more popularity overseas.
But you two were also condemned by netizens for being so shameless. Your dates were much too public in their opinions. But there were bound to be haters, you both had known that going in.
“Can you come over here? I want us to record the bridge again.”
You nodded, setting your phone down on the coffee table.
“Heard on that.”
-
“You’re obsessed with those articles- you know that?”
You glanced over at Jeonghan. He was laying on the shillings of the roof along with you, his arm dangling over the edge. Your eyes flitted back to the stars- the reason you two were up here in the first place, shutting off your phone.
“They’re interesting to read,” you replied. “It kind of sucks, you know? Reading all about this perfect amazing relationship I am in that is defying traditional Korean beliefs and it’s not even real.”
You sat up and pouted.
“I’m a romantic, Jeonghan. Romantics weren’t meant for fake relationships.”
“I guess you should have thought about that before-”
“Before I made a dumb assumption about a good man,” you interrupted, your tone mocking. “Haven’t I suffered enough for my transgressions?”
Jeonghan laughed and propped himself up on his elbows to look at you.
“Jihoon may have forgiven you, but as his friend I have to hold you accountable.”
You pouted and dropped yourself back down on the roof.
“I can’t believe he ever let me be his friend,” you said. “I was awful to him. I don’t deserve his friendship.”
“You don’t,” Jeonghan agreed, making a soft hey leave your mouth. “But I told you once and I’ll tell you once again. He likes you. Of course, he would forgive you.”
“He doesn’t like me,” you argued. “He tolerates me.”
“Wouldn’t you say that Jihoon is a romantic?” Jeonghan asked. You shrugged.
“He certainly comes off as one.”
“Romantics don’t just drop their feelings for someone like that.”
“Jeonghan, he wouldn’t have just dropped his feelings. I was consistently cruel to him. Those feelings died just the way that they should have,” you tried to rationalize. Still, as Jeonghan stared at you from across the roof you knew that he wasn’t convinced.
“Maybe you’re right,” Jeonghan said softly. He shifted next to you, laying down directly beside you so that your shoulders brushed. “I guess we’ll see.”
You two fell in silence again, mostly focused on just looking up at the sky. You wondered idly what Jihoon was doing right now. He was always so cooped up inside, it would probably be nice for him to get out for once, to look at the sky.
“We should probably get off this roof,” you said. “Before someone realizes we’re missing.”
Jeonghan sighed.
“I think we should just stay here for a second,” Jeonghan replied. “Up here things actually make sense.”
You mirrored his sigh.
“Yeah, they do.”
-
“I ought to punch Sungsoo in the face.”
You glanced up from your pancakes to look up at Chae who was staring at her phone in annoyance. You shot a confused look at Nari who shrugged, and Ai mirrored the action. All three of you looked back at Chae.
“Yeah...” You said hesitantly. ”I mean, none of us really agree with him on what he does-”
“But this?” Chae demanded. She waved her phone wildly as if any of you could see what was on it. “It crosses a line.”
All three of you stared at Chae, not sure what to say. She looked at you suddenly, her face red.
“How on earth does that idiot think you are supposed to promote two songs at one time?”
You blinked, staring at Chae with what you could only imagine to be a stupid expression on your face.
“What?”
“Haven’t you seen the release date for your single with Jihoon?” Chae asked. You shrugged.
“I’ve been trying not to stress about it while we try to choreograph,” you replied.
“It’s the third of November,” Chae replied.
Your eyebrows strewn further in confusion.
“Okay?”
“Wait-” Nari blurted. “I get it now.”
You turned sharply towards her.
“What? What’s the third of November?” You asked.
“That is our mini album debut date.”
You blinked.
“What?” You said, humor laced in her voice. “That can’t be right because that would mean-”
“You’re promoting two songs for one promotional period.”
You stared at Chae.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
You didn’t know what to say.
“Okay,” you finally settled on. All three of your group mates looked at you.
“Okay?” Chae demanded. “What does that mean. You have to do something about this. You have to argue with him about this. Move your debut of the single with Jihoon. Why is he acting like it’s so time sensitive?”
You thought back to when Sungsoo had showed you that article. You read over it in your mind, remembering how it had detailed Jihoon. At the time, you had thought it was harsh. Ridiculously cruel and at the time you had been as anti-Jihoon as it got. Now that you knew him, now that you were friends?
It took just one wrong move for that reporter to decide to release that article. It took one click for someone to ruin Jihoon’s career entirely.
“I’m sure that Sungsoo has his reasons,” you finally said. “How hard can it be to promote two songs during one promotional period?”
-
“I heard you’re doing something stupid.”
You looked up from the video of you and Jihoon dancing together. You two had finally gotten the final choreography down. Now you just had to practice it, and nitpick it, and make it perfect.
“Something stupid?” You asked. “No, I’m all dry of stupid. I used all my stupid up on hating you.”
Jihoon’s head quirked to the side as he looked at you, the corner of his lip turning up. You looked back down at the video, your face reddening a little. You liked being able to make him smile, much more than you had liked to make him upset.
“Amazingly it seems you have learned to do other stupid things,” Jihoon replied.
You pulled your legs underneath you and looked up at him, leaning back on your hands.
“Yeah?”
“Sungsoo is forcing you to promote our single at the same time as our groups comeback?” Jihoon asked. “That’s stupid.”
“It’s certainly new,” you replied. “And I’m sure it will be tiring but I wouldn’t say stupid.”
“Do you realize that means you will be doing two stages a day for weeks?” Jihoon asked. He shook his head. “No, three stages a day, because you’ll be promoting a b-side for your mini-album won’t you?”
You nodded which just made an expression of frustration cross his face.
“Why are you being so nonchalant about this?” He asked.
“Why not?” You replied with a shrug. “I like to work.”
“I’ve seen your comeback for your group. It’s too high energy, you have all been working on it for months and yet you’re still about ready to collapse after doing it full energy.”
“And?”
“And our dance is high-energy, and precise vocals. You’ll be promoting two songs a day that leave you exhausted.”
You shrugged.
“I could stand to lose a few pounds. It will be good for me.”
Jihoon’s expression did not change.
“You’re like talking to a brick wall,” he said bluntly. “I thought maybe your stubbornness towards me was just a way to make me angry but I guess you’re just always like this.”
It had been a while since you had annoyed Jihoon, so the comment sent a ping of discomfort through you. He was right, you were stubborn. You weren’t mad that he had said it. No, there was something else there.
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Your health is a big deal to me.”
You just didn’t like to disappoint him, you supposed.
“It’s just one promotional period, seriously Jihoon, I’ll be fine.”
“Do you know what people are saying about me?” Jihoon asked. “The other guys keep insinuating that I should be able to convince you to change the promotional period of our single.”
“Well, you can’t,” you replied pointedly.
“Right. So I went to Sungsoo.”
Your heart stopped and that article flashed itself across your mind. You got to your feet suddenly, grabbing Jihoon by his wrist.
“You shouldn’t bother Sungsoo,” you blurted without really thinking about it. “Don’t you know that he’s doing this for you?”
Confusion shot through Jihoon’s eyes, causing you to drop his wrist.
“... For us?”
You weren’t very convincing.
“He said no,” Jihoon said bluntly. “So, as your fake boyfriend, I’m coming to you. Stop this madness before it starts.”
“There’s nothing to stop! The dates were already released. Our fans will be upset if the date changes,” you argued back. “Just drop it Jihoon, you’re making this out to be more than it is.”
“I'll turn off the computer.”
You stared at Jihoon.
“As fair as that is-”
“What kind of fake boyfriend do you take me as!” Jihoon protested. “I don’t want this. I don’t want to be the kind of boyfriend that judges you for your choices and expects you to do things just because I say so.”
He turned away from you.
“But that’s the kind of boyfriend that everyone expects you to have,” he said. “Dotting and attentive, so that’s what I have to be.”
Your mouth fell into an ‘o’. You stepped towards Jihoon, peaking around his shoulder.
“Is that what this is about?” You asked him. “You’re worried about being the kind of boyfriend that you think people expect me to have?”
“You know how much people talk about you when you aren’t around?” Jihoon asked, catching your gaze. “You’re perfect.”
You blinked.
“Perfect at fucking things up, you mean.”
Jihoon sighed, shaking his head.
“Perfect. Just in general.”
Jihoon waved his hands in the air.
“I don’t know, you’ve always been like that. Like, nice to everyone, huge smile, always willing to help people out. Everyone at Pledis knows that if they need something done and they need help doing it they should knock on your door,” Jihoon said. “Everyone loves you, everyone trusts you.”
“Not everyone-”
“Why does Jeonghan prefer you to like everyone else at Pledis?” Jihoon asked suddenly. “Why aren’t you fake dating Jeonghan? Why aren’t you real dating Jeonghan?”
“Woah-” You said. “You are all over the place-”
“He’s dotting, spends all his time with you, he’s always buying you food-”
“I’ve never wanted to date Jeonghan,” you interrupted, your eyebrows scrunching together. “Why are you bringing this up?”
“You two are just so close,” Jihoon said with a sigh. “You hated me when you first met me but you met Jeonghan and you two became best friends.”
You rolled your eyes.
“We aren't best friends,” you argued, even though… You kinda were. “My relationship with Jeonghan is...”
You trailed off, your brain trying to label you and Jeonghan’s relationship as something that made sense.
“You don’t want the same relationship with me as Jeonghan does,” you finally settled on.
“Yes I do,” Jihoon blurted. “I want to know you. Everyone else at this stupid company knows you in this different way but you just hang out with me because you have to. I wish...”
He trailed off.
“This is stupid. Do what you want, I don’t care just... Forget we had this conversation okay?”
You stared at him and for a while it was completely quiet between the two of you. He looked at you.
“Let’s get back to practice.”
-
“Would you call me emotionally stunted?” You asked.
“Undoubtedly,” Jeonghan agreed. “Why are you suddenly asking now?”
You glared at Jeonghan.
“Do you think our relationship is normal in anyway?” You asked next.
“If you have to ask that in a relationship it’s not normal,” Jeonghan replied bluntly. He glanced over at you, offering you the half of the sandwich he wasn’t eating. You sighed and took it.
“What does it mean if a man brings up your relationship with another man and says he wishes he had that sort of relationship with you?”
Jeonghan’s eyes narrowed.
“I feel like you answered the question in that question.”
You let out a loud groan and let yourself fall to the ground, the sandwich falling out of your hand. Jeonghan made a small sound of protest but you ignored him.
“I don’t get it,” you replied. “I was awful to him. How could he still like me? How could he want a friendship with me? How could he want a relationship like you and I have with me?”
“He likes you,” Jeonghan insisted. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you to sit up. “He likes you, and you just ruined half of a perfectly good sandwich.”
“He can’t like me, I-”
“He’s jealous,” Jeonghan interrupted. “He’s jealous because you’re stuck in a fake relationship with him and I’m still the one that you eat sandwiches on the floor with at four in the morning.”
“But we’re...” You felt frustrated. “Jihoon doesn’t want sandwiches on the floor with me at four in the morning. We’re just faking a relationship while trying to figure out what a friendship looks like for the two of us.”
“Have you never heard the enemies to lovers trope?” Jeonghan asked. “Isn’t it a dream? Someone who has seen you at your worst and still wants you?”
You weren’t sure what to say about that. You were quiet for a little bit, looking at the sandwich that had fallen on the floor. You picked up the top piece of bread and tore a piece of it off, putting it in your mouth.
Was that even what you wanted?
“Jihoon is too good for me,” you said finally. “He was trying to be the kind of boyfriend other people think that I need. How could he think about someone who hated him like that?”
You put another piece of bread in your mouth.
“He called me perfect.”
“He’s in love with you,” Jeonghan said with a shrug.
You wanted to scream at Jeonghan.
“He’s not in love with me,” you blurted. “He can’t be in love with me.”
“He liked you from day one, y/n,” Jeonghan said. “What more can I say?”
There was so much more that Jeonghan could say to make what he was saying make sense but he didn’t do anything of the sort. Instead the conversation switched to a different topic, and the subject of Jihoon didn’t return for the rest of the night.
And thus launched one of the most awkward phases of your relationship with Jihoon you would ever have. The no-talking because you were disagreeing phase.
When you had fought with friends in the past it had been different. Less frustrating. You knew the reason you two were fighting in the past. You weren’t sure why you were fighting with Jihoon. Not really.
You knew that you were annoyed at Jihoon for calling you perfect when you weren’t.
And you knew that Jihoon wasn’t talking to you.
He had postponed dance practice indefinitely, and when he saw you in passing...
You looked up when you heard his voice, your heart skipping a beat when you realized this would be the first time you had seen him this week. The debut was coming quickly, you knew you needed to say something to him. Your eyes shot to him, your brain completely forgetting what the topic of conversation was with Chae.
“Hey-” you said, taking a step towards him.
Jihoon glanced at you, up and down, and then turned to Soonyoung.
“You were saying?”
Soonyoung looked at you, his eyes wide, and apologetic.
“Oh, uh-”
Jihoon brushed past you, his shoulder bumping into yours. You felt warmth flooding your face, suddenly realizing that this was what it was actually like to be ignored. Not what you had thought it was before.
You tried so hard to get his attention, not realizing just how much you wanted it until it was gone. At least when you had hated him he said words to you. Now he made any excuse to even be out of your company.
Never a word to you. Always a glance at you and then just as soon as you had approached him he was gone.
You felt that sick feeling in your gut all over again. Not hatred but something similar to guilt.
If he thought you were so perfect why was he doing this?
“You and Jihoon fighting?”
Concern crossed your face as you glanced at Chae. The others were busy, looking over the dance practice video to see what still needed to be fine-tuned, but you and Chae had gotten a message from Sungsoo to check the upcoming schedule, so you two were occupied with something else entirely.
“Is it that obvious?”
“Not obvious,” Chae corrected. “Noticeable.”
You tried not to make it obvious just how worried that made you. You hoped nobody else picked up on your two’s behavior. You tapped your finger against your leg. Well, other than all of Seventeen who surely had noticed something was up.
“What’s up?” Chae prodded. You sighed.
“Same old,” you replied. “I did something stupid, and I’m the only one holding myself accountable for it.”
You chewed nervously on your bottom lip.
“Did you...” You trailed off. “Do you think Jeonghan and I have a weird relationship.”
Chae’s mouth dropped into an ‘o’.
“He’s jealous,” she said. Your eyebrows strewn together in frustration.
“To be jealous he would have to...” like me like that in the first place. “He’s not jealous Chae. I don’t know why he isn’t talking to me but it isn’t because of jealousy.”
Chae sighed.
“You’re impossible. I bet Jeonghan has been saying the same thing and you just keep saying the same weak argument.
“Hey-”
“Jihoon can’t ignore you forever.”
You sure hoped she was right.
You felt like you were going crazy waiting for him to start talking to you. It had been such a long time since you had felt something like this. When people stopped talking to you for whatever reason you were hardly that bothered by it. You knew that those people cared about you and that they would return, and if they didn’t return they didn’t care about you and you didn’t want them in your life anyways.
God, you could feel something tightening in the pit of your stomach. Why did it bother you like that? Why couldn’t you just move on and rationalize that if he wanted you in his life then he would talk to you again soon?
You could feel someone’s eyes on you as the song that you and Jihoon had written started to play again but you ignored it, figuring it was just Soonyoung coming in the studio to practice Seventeen’s choreography to their upcoming comeback.
Maybe even after this run through you could join him and give him advice on how the dance should go and give input on what you liked and didn’t like from what he was choreographing. One thing you really liked about Soonyoung was how serious he got about his choreography. You were used to seeing him mess around with the boys but he was never like that with when it came to his dances.
You hit the bridge of the song and a frown flashed across your face as you tried to imagine Jihoon being there with you. The choreography for this part was really dependent on Jihoon being there.
And just as you were thinking that, a hand found its way to your hip. You looked up in surprise, only to find that Jihoon was standing right there. He flashed you half a smile.
“Keep it up,” he encouraged.
It was a little clumsy, but that was only to be expected considering the fact that you two had only practiced together when making the choreography, but it was clear that just like you, Jihoon had been practicing without you.
The song came to an end, ending with Jihoon’s hands on your hips and your faces so close that you could kiss if you leaned just a little bit further. You felt your face warm up for reasons other than the exertion of the dance. You willed yourself to maintain eye contact with Jihoon.
“Hey,” you breathed uncertainly. “Does this mean...”
You wondered if you should even acknowledge that he had been ignoring you.
“You’re talking to me again?”
Jihoon pulled away from you, shrugging slightly.
“We have to practice the dance together.”
When you had spent all of your time hating Jihoon you had been so quick to getting frustrated at him. It was so easy to give him a piece of your mind and make him realize that something he had done had annoyed you.
What happened to the you that was mad at him for not talking to you?
“I’m sorry,” you said hesitantly.
Jihoon’s eyebrows shot up.
“Why are you sorry?” He asked. “I’m the one who just stopped talking to you.”
“But it was because...” You trailed off. “Okay, honestly I don’t know why you did.”
“When you’re upset you go to Nari,” Jihoon said. Your eyes widened slightly in surprise. How did he know that? “When you need advice you go to Chae. Ai is someone who can always make you laugh and when your bored and need someone to give you company you go to Jeonghan.”
Jihoon sighed.
“We’re fake dating and that’s the only reason that you see me,” Jihoon said. “It’s the only reason that you started to look at me with anything but malus in your eyes. It’s the only reason we are friends.”
“It’s a good thing,” you said. “We’re friends.”
“Barely,” Jihoon mumbled. “I just...”
There was a dull pounding in the back of your head that you just couldn’t ignore. Something about this situation made you focus even more on the tightening in the pit of your stomach.
He’s in love with you.
Your eyes widened in realization and your hand shot up, covering Jihoon’s mouth with your hand. Jihoon’s eyes widened at the sudden contact.
“Don’t-” You felt nervous. What were you supposed to say right now? Your heart was pounding in your chest so loudly you were worried that he was able to hear. You stuttered over nothing for a second, trying to find the right words. “Let’s practice,” you finally said, a nervous smile crossing your lips as you lowered your hand from his mouth.
Jihoon frowned slightly.
“You just want to...?”
“We have to practice,” you said. “And afterwards we can...” Your heart beat even harder in your chest, that gut wrenching feeling replaced by something akin to butterflies. “I’ll make more time for you. You won’t be Ai or Jeonghan, but you’ll be Jihoon. A friend for different circumstances then the others.”
A smile flickered across Jihoon’s face.
“I don’t really get you,” he said. “Do you hate me or what?”
“It’s to be determined,” you joked lightly.
With Jihoon talking to you again things were easier and awful all at the same time. For one you got back into the groove of trying to figure out where exactly you and Jihoon lied in your relationship. Despite not really being sure of how you felt about Jihoon you found yourself wanting to see him a lot and practices in the dance room simply weren’t enough.
You found yourself showing up in Jihoon’s studio more and more.
“Y/n!”
You smiled, peeking around the door of Jihoon’s studio to Mingyu. He leaned up on the couch, setting his switch on the coffee table.
“Hey Gyu! You were just the person I was hoping would be here!” You jumped around the door, holding your own switch in the air. If someone’s eyes could sparkle, Mingyu’s did in that moment.
“Jihoon, you have the best significant other.”
He excitedly pulled his legs underneath him and gestured for you to join him on the couch. You closed Jihoon’s studio door and rushed over to Jihoon.
“Hey, babe,” you said softly. Jihoon glanced at you like he hadn’t really noticed you had entered but you could tell by the way he was holding his pencil, much too tightly, that he had noticed you.
After your conversation about Jeonghan and your relationship you had learned that Jihoon got jealous very easily. It was never harmful, he didn’t tell you not to hang out with people and he was never mad at you for talking to others over him. But sometimes it made him tighten his jaw, or flex his fingers, and you knew that something was bothering him.
You let your hand fall into his hair and you gave him a short kiss to his cheek.
He had every right to be jealous, you thought. After all, you weren’t his.
Jihoon’s lips flickered into a smile and he glanced up at you.
“Wasn’t expecting you,” he said softly. He quirked his head up a little towards you. You couldn’t help the way your eyes flickered to his lips. You wanted so badly to just lean forward and...
You turned your head from him, as quietly as you could blowing out of your mouth trying to rid yourself of your suddenly very rampant thoughts.
“I thought I would swing by,” you said. You cleared your throat and wandered over to the couch with Mingyu. “Someone’s got to help Mingyu keep you company.”
You got used to Jihoon’s little studio. More than you had ever thought you would. You were starting to know every nook and cranny. You found yourself being comfortable all over his studio. The floor, the couch, his desk. Your mind echoed of a time when Jihoon would be mad at you for making yourself so comfortable there. But now Jihoon didn’t even blink twice when he found you on his desk.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Jihoon asked. He spoke like he had no clue that you were going to be there, but he handed you a little takeout container.
“Just thought I’d come see you,” you replied cheekily. Jihoon pressed his lips into half a smile, and he leaned in towards you. He paused before he had really closed the distance, something flickering in his eyes.
“It’s good to see you,” he said softly.
There were times when you forgot what it had been like to dislike him. Forgot how your stomach had churned just at the sight of him. Now when you saw him something else fluttered through your stomach, making you feel a little lighter than usual.
And that was the downside to all of this. The downside to perkily saying hi to him when you bumped into each other in the morning. The downside to being up at three in the morning eating noodles on his desk. The downside to thinking about him every morning when you woke up and texting him when you were bored at practice.
That feeling in your stomach. The one that had butterflies fluttering through you. Why did he make you feel like that?
That light feeling. You didn’t get it.
“We have to go on a date tonight,” you said excitedly. “Sungsoo says that the media is getting comfortable with us- That's why we don’t have to go on so many anymore- but even still we have to go on some.”
You leaned forward, placing your hands on his desk as you turned your head to look at him.
“We wouldn’t want break up rumors.”
“We’ll have a lot of interactions during our promotional periods,” Jihoon mumbled. “We don’t have to constantly go on these stupid public dates.”
You noted that even as Jihoon spoke, he had a smile on his lips.
“You don’t seem like you hate it that much,” you observed lightly. You turned around, your back to his desk now. “Besides it’s kind of fun to hang out in public. Your studio gets stuffy.”
Jihoon’s eyebrows rose.
“I thought you liked my studio.”
You hummed.
“What’s not to like?” You said, letting your tone of voice come off as a little sarcastic. Truth be told you had no issue with his studio. You loved the place, it was like a second home. But you were also buzzing at the idea of going on another date. “Where should we go?”
-
“Is it a crime that I rarely have patbingsu?” You asked as you two sat down with the dessert. He glanced up at you.
“I rarely have it too,” he commented. “I think it’s a good treat every once in a while.”
You hummed and took a scoop from the bowl, leaning forward as you put some into your mouth.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” You asked. You noticed some people had crowded around to see you both- some people were taking pictures from a distance- so you switched to sitting right next to him, as if you wanted to hide yourself. You two weren’t well disguised today- no hats, masks on your chins- but you didn’t really need to be anymore.
You weren’t pretending it was a secret now. This was just so that you could act a little shy to be with him. You leaned close to him.
“Kiss me?” You asked. You watched color spread to Jihoon’s cheeks as he looked at you.
“You’re shameless aren’t you?” He murmured. He leaned closer to you and as he closed the distance you couldn’t shake the airy feeling in your body. You felt your breathing coming a little shorter, your heart beating faster.
You ducked your head away from Jihoon, a nervous laugh leaving your mouth.
“I’m just teasing you,” you mumbled, noting that you sounded a little breathless as you spoke. You turned your attention back to the patbingsu and raised a scoop of it to Jihoon’s face. “Don’t you think the media will think it’s cute if they catch pictures of us feeding each other?”
-
“What if we all had a movie night this weekend?” Ai suggested, bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet. You glanced over at her as you stretched your arms across your body.
“We have a movie night every week,” you said with a laugh. “You want to have another one?”
“Well,” Ai drawled out. “It’s just- I've been thinking. The girls and I don’t know Jihoon that well at all. What if this movie night you invited Jihoon?”
The simple mention of Jihoon had warmth rising to your cheeks and it didn’t go unnoticed.
“Ooh,” Chae teased. “Looks like our favorite couple isn’t fighting anymore.”
“You and Jihoon were fighting?” Nari piped in suddenly, surprise riddled over her face. You sighed, your face burning even hotter.
“A little,” you replied. “But we’re on the same page now, it’s all good.”
You looked back up at Ai.
“I can ask Jihoon if he wants to join us but he’s probably busy. You know how he is,” you said. Ai pouted at the concept that Jihoon might not come but either way you all agreed to plan the night.
You were honestly surprised by Jihoon’s answer.
“Oh, by the way, Ai and the others wanted to invite you to a movie night with us this Friday. Do you want to come?” You asked. “I told her you probably wouldn’t be able to so no pressure-“
“I would love to come,” Jihoon interrupted, he glanced over at you, his eyes a little wider than usual.
“Really?” You asked. “You really can say no.”
“I…” Jihoon trained off, eyebrows strewn together like he had been about to explain why he wanted to come. “I have the night off, so why not.”
And that’s how you ended up sitting smushed between Jihoon and Chae on the couch of your place, with the first Iron Man film playing in front of you.
Ai had done some research into the movie night as to make Jihoon enjoy it as much as possible. She got savory snacks she knew he liked and picked Iron Man because she knew he was a fan.
You idly thought she would make a better significant other to Jihoon then you did.
“Hey,” you whispered, leaning towards Jihoon. “Thanks for coming. It means a lot to Ai.”
Jihoon glanced at you, and you could just make him out in the soft glow of the television screen. He was so close to you.
“I’m happy to be here,” Jihoon replied.
It was weird really, you had grown so prone to spending time with Jihoon even behind closed doors. You wanted to justify it by comparing it to your relationship with Jeonghan but you couldn’t help but admit that what you said to Jihoon had been true. It was different.
You didn’t miss Jeonghan in the same way that you missed Jihoon when he wasn’t around. You didn’t have this urge to be as close to Jeonghan as possible. You didn’t look at Jeonghan and think that he looked really handsome with the light of the screen illuminating his face. And most notably, you didn’t get this unshakable feeling in your gut. Those stupid butterflies.
“We should…” you trailed before you could finish. Were you really about to say this? “We should hold hands. Ai would think that’s really cute.”
You thought Jihoon would brush it off, but instead, you felt his fingers intertwining with yours. He gave you a small squeeze.
“We’re starting to make a good fake couple,” he mumbled.
You nodded, suddenly thinking it was really hot in the room.
“We are.”
-
“You’ve got a lot going through that thick brain of yours,” Jeonghan observed. “It’s not really like you to keep it bottled up to yourself.”
You flipped over on Jeonghan’s bad, glancing up from your phone.
“It is actually exactly like me to keep it bottled up,” you corrected. “Do you know me at all?”
“Correction, you don’t tend to keep it from me,” he stated. “What’s going on in the Jihoon chapter of your life? Let me enlighten you with my unending knowledge of relationships.”
You grunted.
“You’re so fucking cocky,” you murmured. “It’s just…”
You trailed off, not really sure how to proceed. You knew that the solution to your raging thoughts was right in front of you, staring you in the face, but you didn’t want to acknowledge it either way.
“Do I have to say it?” You finally said. “You know. I know you know.”
Jeonghan’s lips quirked up into a small smile.
“You’ll believe it better if you say it.”
“Things have just been different with Jihoon recently. I’ve been really liking spending time with him, and getting butterflies when he says or does certain things, I’ve been wanting to be close to him. I just… I don’t know what it means I guess.”
Jeonghan rolled his eyes.
“You know what it means,” he drawled lightly.
You sighed.
Why did you ever bother lying to Jeonghan?
“I like him,” you relented. “ I like him. How did this even happen?”
Jeonghan shrugged.
“It could be worse,” he said unhelpfully. “It could be unrequited. Don’t tell me you think it’s unrequited still.”
You felt yourself bite down lightly on your bottom lip.
“No…” You admitted. “You were right. He likes me.”
Jeonghan nodded knowingly.
“It doesn’t have to be complicated y/n. Just tell him you like him. Enemies pretending to date? That’s complicated. Two people who like each other confessing. That’s easy.”
-
It was eating you from the inside out to think that you needed to confess to Jihoon. You’d never had to do this before. Had to tell someone that you liked them. You felt your heart pound in your chest every time you were around him. While you two were eating, or while you were listening to his music or when you two were just on one of your fake dates.
What if you were wrong after all? What if Jihoon didn’t actually like you?
Sure he got shy when you were teasingly flirting with him, and you felt the way his face burned when you kissed him on the cheek but even still...
You resisted the urge to shove your face into the notebook you were writing in as your mind reminded you of all the reasons you knew that Jihoon liked you.
You were being stupid. A coward.
“Are you okay?”
You looked up, surprised to find that Jihoon was staring at you from across the room. You shifted the way you were sitting on the couch.
“Me?” You asked as if there was anyone else in the room he could be talking to. You felt stupid. Why had you said something so stupid? “I’m fine.”
Jihoon stared at you, his eyebrows furrowing.
“Something’s bothering you,” he said softly. “I... I can just tell.”
You sighed. You should stop getting close to people. It meant that they could tell things you didn’t want them to know.
“I know that you have a crush on me.”
And it meant that you cared enough about them that you didn’t want to lie.
“Me?” Jihoon blurted, his eyebrows rising. He opened his mouth to deny what you were saying but as he did his cheeks reddened.
“I also have a crush on you,” you said before he could say more. Jihoon’s mouth gaped for a second, and then it closed. His eyebrows furrowed.
“But you... You hated me.”
“Past tense,” you agreed. “For the stupidest reasons.”
“Are we going to fight about this again?” Jihoon asked, pursing his lips in concentration.
“No?” But it sounded like a question. You got to your feet and walked over to Jihoon. “We don’t have to think about this.”
You placed your hands on Jihoon’s chairs arm rest, trapping him in his chair, you leaned close to him.
“I like you and you like me. It doesn’t have to be complicated.”
Jihoon’s cheeks blazed red and you would want to make fun of him if yours didn’t match.
You moved so that you were straddling Jihoon, loosely draping your arms over his shoulders.
“Do you like me?” You asked softly. Despite how embarrassed Jihoon looked his hands lowered to your hips.
“I do really like you,” he admitted. “The closer I got to you, the less you hated me the more I remembered why I’ve always really liked you. I’ve never actually entertained dating. When do I have the time?”
A smile flickered over your lips at the comment.
“But you make time for me. Even when you didn’t like me. You don’t expect me to always have time for you. I want to make this real.”
Jihoon cleared his throat.
“And you...?”
“I think I really want to kiss you,” you whispered back. You waited for some sign that Jihoon wanted that too, and this time the seeking of affirmation that you wanted to kiss Jihoon felt differently from before. Your heart was racing so quickly you could barely think about anything but him. He nodded.
“Okay,” he murmured. His head tilted towards you ever-so-slightly and you took that as your consent to lean forward and press your lips to his.
You and Jihoon’s kisses before had always been god awful. Your lips moved awkwardly against each other, your hands didn’t know where to be, you felt disgust spread through your chest but this time it was completely different. You had seen a million movies and read a million books about how when you kissed someone you truly liked you could feel a spark spread through your body and you knew that you were kissing someone you truly liked.
You felt yourself press closer to Jihoon, your chest closer to his then it had ever been. You could feel yourself too, deepening the kiss, so lost in it that your hips were shifting slightly in his lap. After a minute or so Jihoon’s fingers tightened on your hips, holding you still.
“Uh, y/n,” he mumbled. His voice was gruff as he spoke and it made you pull back enough that you could see his face.
“You’ve got to stop moving your hips like that,” he said softly. You raised an eyebrow.
“Why-”
And that was when you felt exactly why. Your face blazed red when you realized that you could feel something very hard pressing against your body. You looked down, mostly out of embarrassment.
“Oh,” you said.
“We should probably stop,” Jihoon said unsurely. “I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“I’m not uncomfortable,” you said quickly.
“I mean, what are you going to do if we stop,” you mumbled. Jihoon sucked in a breath.
“I can just wait it out.”
Silence fell between the two of you.
“Can I keep kissing you?” You asked finally, your voice soft. Jihoon pressed forward, bumping the tip of his nose to yours.
“Yeah,” he mumbled. “If you want.”
You pressed your lips to his, this time brief and heavy.
“And you could loosen your grip on me if you wanted,” you said into the kiss. “It just feels more natural you know? To move a little while I kiss you.”
“You’re playing a dangerous game,” Jihoon mumbled, his eyebrow raising a little.
“I think I know what I’m getting myself into,” you said back. Jihoon’s head fell ever-so-slightly to the side.
“Are you sure about that?” He asked softly.
You honestly weren’t sure anymore. You couldn’t brush off the way his grip was actually tightening on your hips, and how dark his eyes had gotten as you suggested doing more. You had felt your body heating as soon as you realized that Jihoon’s hard cock was pressed into you (why had you thought straddling him was a good idea?) but the burning in your core had only grown the more that his fingers tightened their grip on you.
Instead of answering your pressed forward trying to kiss Jihoon again, but he quickly stopped you.
“I need an answer,” he insisted firmly. “Because I’m going to take this a step forward if you keep kissing me like that.”
You didn’t need him to explain exactly what he was insinuating doing, but the thought of where he wanted to take this made those nervous butterflies pop up in your stomach again.
“Your studio door is unlocked,” you mumbled lightly.
“I’m sure no one will come in,” Jihoon replied.
“Mingyu?” You brought up.
“It’s up to you,” Jihoon said softly. “I’m not going to do anything you don’t want to.”
His grip loosened on your hips and your eyes widened.
“No!” You blurted. You took the opportunity to roll your hips down on Jihoon’s dick. You bit down nervously on your bottom lip.
“I mean I can help after all,” you mumbled. “Why don’t you let me help?”
Just as soon as you began to roll your hips Jihoon’s hands were back on your hips, a low moan leaving his lips.
“You’re going to help?”
You nodded.
“You’re going to be useful, huh?” He continued. Your face blazed but you nodded again. You weren’t really used to Jihoon making you so nervous, but suddenly you were ready to do anything he told you to.
“Use your words sweetheart,” Jihoon drawled.
“Please Jihoon,” you said, your voice faint. Jihoon leaned forward, his lips brushing yours.
“What was that?” As he spoke his cool fingers dipped under your shirt, dipping beneath the waist band of your underwear. You shivered under his touch, placing your hands on Jihoon’s chest.
“Please fuck me,” you murmured, and that was all you had to say.
When you had disliked Jihoon you had tried to avoid any piece of media that you could about him but one day you had found yourself reading a few fans gushing about what Jihoon would be like in bed. Some people thought he was a bottom, others pushed him as a hard top, or a switch. They went into detail about how Jihoon had proved time and time again that he was very good with his fingers, and that he would be rough when he needed to in order to get out all his pent up energy. You couldn’t say for sure, of course, that Jihoon was or was not a bottom but you could say for sure that right now? In this instance? You were completely his.
He turned his chair so that he could press your back into the edge of his desk, frustration bubbling up from his chest in the form of a grunt as he kissed you. He pulled back.
“You have too much on,” he mumbled. His hands pulled from where they were caressing your skin under your clothes, and he pulled your shirt over your head by its hems. You were quick to help him undress you, unclipping your bra and letting it drop to the ground. You reached forward, pushing at Jihoon’s shirt as you did, pulling it off as well. You two quickly separated until there was a messy pile of clothes on the floor and Jihoon had you pressed against a wall.
“Let’s see,” he mumbled, his hot breath puffing against your neck. He pressed a few kisses to your skin there as his fingers slid across the slit of your pussy. You were hoping that you weren’t too wet- after all you hadn’t been this desperate to fuck someone in a long time- why would you be that horny?
But you could tell by Jihoon’s exhale that your arousal was more than apparent.
“Baby,” he murmured, lifting his eyes to yours. “You’re so desperate, aren’t you? Your pussy needs a cock in it, doesn’t it?”
Your face burned in humiliation at Jihoon’s words but even so you managed to nod at him.
“Please,” you whispered. Jihoon’s lips flickered with a smile.
“I like this side of you,” Jihoon mumbled. “You’re so vulnerable.”
For a second, Jihoon’s expression turned soft.
“You’re that comfortable with me now?”
For some reason, that implication made you even more embarrassed than Jihoon talking about how badly you needed to be fucked.
“Shut up,” you managed to get out. “Thought you were just talking a big game about how badly I needed fucked. What happened to that?”
Lucky for you, Jihoon was extremely amused by your embarrassment. His fingers slid across your slit again, and again, his fingers dipping between your folds a little bit more each time he slid his fingers. He was teasing you, and you didn’t appreciate it.
You reached, forward, intent on touching Jihoon’s dick which was standing very tall and very hard, but before you could Jihoon’s other hand caught yours. He shook his head, chiding you softly.
“Someone’s impatient,” he murmured. “Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to be able to do this to you?” He asked. His hand pulled away from your dripping cunt and he lightly smacked your inner thigh. “Open.”
You immediately spread your legs more for Jihoon.
“There you are,” he said, smiling even larger than before. “You’re so obedient. You always act like such a brat but when it comes down to it you like this don’t you?”
You whimpered as Jihoon’s fingers returned to your slit, going back to teasing you just as he had been before. Your core was burning with the want for Jihoon’s fingers to begin to fuck you to the point where it was almost uncomfortable. You felt your hand twisting around in Jihoon’s grasp so that you could wrap your fingers around his wrist and squeeze. You really didn’t have much patience at all.
“You want to touch yourself?” Jihoon asked. You screwed your eyes shut, shaking your head roughly. Jihoon hummed. “What do you want?”
You hated being teased. (At least, that’s what you kept repeating in your head as your body burned.)
“Your fingers,” you murmured back. You felt your eyebrows furrow and your lips drew together in a pout. Jihoon laughed at the expression.
“Can I get a please?” He teased. You groaned.
“When did our roles switch?” You asked. Jihoon’s fingers slipped between your folds, prodding at your entrance. “Okay, okay. Please Jihoon please.”
He snickered.
“You’re so good when you want to be.”
He pressed his finger inside of you, making the movement as slow and tantalizing as possible. It pulled a whine out of your mouth and your fingers curled against his chest.
“Jihoon you’re a fucking tea-”
Before you could finish Jihoon began to work his finger in and out of you. It wasn’t as slow as it had been a moment before but it certainly wasn’t fast either. Teasing he was still fucking teasing you.
You leaned forward, trying to capture Jihoon’s lips with yours. You wanted friction so badly. Wanted more than just one of his stupid fingers sliding in and out of you. Soft moans- correction whines tumbled from your lips as Jihoon pulled away from you, keeping his distance.
“You’re being annoying,” you bit out, hoping it sounded intimidating. You just sounded pathetic. “You know I want more than this. Least you could do is let me kiss you.”
Jihoon looked up at you, lips barely quirked up.
“You know where we’re going,” he murmured. “Why do you want to rush it so badly?”
You let your pout become more apparent and you were rewarded with a second finger being pressed into you. Your head dropped to Jihoon’s shoulder.
“Jihoon, fuck,” you mumbled. “Can’t I... Just a little... Touch you?”
“Touch me?” Jihoon asked. “You usually just do what you want, what’s stopping you now?”
“What do you think is stopping me?” you blurted. He hummed and pressed a third finger into you.
“You’re being good,” he crooned. “You’ll get rewarded for being good.”
“And that’s what’s stopping me,” you murmured back. You leaned forward again trying to kiss him, but he was still holding you back. “Jihoon-”
“Beg me for it,” Jihoon mumbled. He pressed his three fingers deep into you, making a whimper leave your lips.
“Jihoon,” you whined, actually completely intent on arguing with him, instead you said: “Please. Please let me kiss you. It’s the least you can do. Won’t let me touch you and you won’t give me more, at least let me kiss you.”
“It all comes in time,” Jihoon assured. “But since you asked so nicely-”
He leaned forward, dragging you into another kiss. You greedily pressed into it, enjoying every second of this kiss. You wrapped your fingers around Jihoon’s biceps squeezing as you pressed closer to him. Jihoon began to scissor his fingers in and out of you. You moaned against his lips.
“Jihoon please,” you mumbled. “Let me touch you. Just a little bit. I’ve been good yeah? I don’t beg like this for everyone, please.”
Jihoon nodded and you eagerly reached forward, your fingers wrapping around his dick. You ran your fingers slowly up his girth, coming to his tip. Your thumbed at his slit, enjoying the little moans that tumbled from his lips. You ran your fingers back down to his base, cupping his balls briefly.
“You’re so good,” Jihoon mumbled. Your lips quirked up. You raised your hand back to your mouth and spit into it briefly. You lowered your hand back down to Jihoon’s dick, rubbing your spit across his length.
You felt his cock twitch in your hand.
“I want,” was all you mumbled, and it was all you had to say.
“Want to show me how badly?” He asked. He pulled his fingers from you, slipping them into his mouth and sucking your wetness off of his fingers. You resisted the urge to whine again (you felt pathetic) and dropped to your knees. You wrapped your fingers around his thighs and your tongue flickered over the tip of his cock.
“You trying to get revenge?” Jihoon asked. Your face burned.
“No,” you murmured.
Yes.
You sucked the tip of Jihoon’s tip past your lips, hollowing your cheeks as you worked his cock into your mouth. Your eyes flickered up to Jihoon’s, an action you immediately regretted as his gaze on you was so intense it sent heat shooting straight through you to your core.
You lowered your eyes to his torso and sucked more of his cock into your mouth, working it as far into your mouth as you could. Jihoon didn’t have the biggest cock in the world or anything but his cock was bigger than any you had seen. Longer and thicker and it made your face burn at the thought that this was going to be inside of you soon.
You pushed his cock a little further into your mouth, only to feel yourself start to choke around it. You pulled off of his cock, trying to catch your composure. As you did so, Jihoon’s hand raised to your head.
“You good?” He asked, his voice laced with amusement. You shot him a glare.
“Shut up,” you murmured. You sucked his cock back into your mouth, and this time instead of focusing on deep throating him, you just worked what you could easily work in and out of your mouth. Jihoon’s fingers ran distractingly through your hair as you sucked him off, his lips parted as low moans tumbled from his mouth.
Each moan that left his mouth just sent warmth coursing through you, feeling yourself burn so much again it was making you uncomfortable. You mewled around his cock and lowered one of your hands down to your pussy, pushing two fingers comfortably into yourself.
“Poor thing,” Jihoon cooed. “You’re that desperate to get fucked?”
You popped off of Jihoon’s cock.
“Well, you’re not fucking me, so someone has to.”
Jihoon’s eyebrows rose in surprise, but a smile quickly crossed his face.
“Get up,” he mumbled.
“What if I don’t?” You challenged. “My fingers feel just fine.”
“Don’t be afraid to tell me if I’m too rough,” Jihoon warned. You opened your mouth again to argue with him (him being in charge was bringing back the part of you that always felt the need to argue with him) but before you could Jihoon’s fingers tightened in the strands of your hair and he pulled you to your feet.
Your mouth dropped in surprise as Jihoon pressed you into the wall, one of his hands capturing your wrists behind your back. You felt his cock brush your soaking cunt. You swallowed hard, trying not to push back against him. You wanted his cock in you so badly.
“You okay?” He asked. Your face burned in embarrassment.
“Just fuck me.”
Jihoon’s hands left your hair just long enough to guide his cock into your pussy. He was slow at first, just easing his cock into you. You felt a long whine leaving your lips as he pushed into you. You fingers flexed with the urge to grab onto something, but them being restrained prevented you from being able to do that. Which just made you desperate and impatient for more.
“Please, please, please,” you begged incoherently. “You’re going too slow.”
“You really are so impatient,” Jihoon chided. “I have to make sure I don’t hurt you.”
Jihoon pushed until he had bottomed out inside of you and then he slowly pulled himself out again. His pace was agonizing, but it felt so good regardless. You pushed back against Jihoon.
“You’re not going to hurt me,” you whined. “Faster, please.”
“Jeonghan was right you really do like to beg,” Jihoon commented off-handedly. Your eyebrows rose in surprise, and you glanced back at him.
“Why were you talking to Jeonghan about-”
Before you could finish Jihoon sharply thrusted into you. You cried out, immediately turning your head back to the wall. Your forehead pressed against it as you tried to catch your breath.
“Fuck, Ji-”
Jihoon pulled out and sharply pulled you back on his cock again by your captured hands, making you bounce against his body. You felt your knees buckle a little and you struggled to keep yourself standing.
Jihoon seemed to sense that and reached a hand around your body, placing his hand just under your breasts, holding you in place. He pushed deep inside of you again and began to set his pace. Now that your hands were free you pressed your hands against the wall, trying to keep yourself supported.
“Jihoon,” you blurted. “I can barely-”
“Barely what?” Jihoon asked teasingly. “Barely handle it? Barely stay up?”
You whined in frustration, so Jihoon just hooked his arm around your body, pulling you up, flush against his chest.
“I’m starting to understand why you used to like to tease me so much.”
He pressed his lips briefly to yours.
“You’re so much fun to make squeal.”
As if to prove his point, Jihoon sharply thrusted up into you, making your whole body shake at the impact.
You weren’t even able to put coherent words together as Jihoon began to fuck up into you, his balls slapping against your pussy as he slammed into you. You cried out with each thrust, the longer he thrust into you, the more that you stopped thinking about how embarrassing it was to be naked against him. All you could think about was his dick, and-
“Jihoon kiss me,” you whined pathetically, turning your head so that Jihoon could see your face.
“Oh, you’re so desperate, aren’t you?” Jihoon asked. “But you’ve been so good, you deserve to get what you ask for.”
He leaned forward and caught your lips with his, but the kiss was rougher than it normally was. You couldn’t help the way you panted against his mouth, pressing back against him as if it would make him push deeper into you.
“Jihoon, Jihoon,” you mumbled against his lips. “Need you to cum, please? I’m gonna cum, we gotta cum.”
“Yeah?” Jihoon asked. ”Where do you want me to cum?”
This was the part where you were supposed to turn red, and stammer and dance around what you really wanted.
“Cum inside of me, please, and then keep fucking me. And fuck it into me and just fuck me until I can’t cum anymore and-”
You didn’t have to say more, because as you spoke Jihoon began to spill his warm cum inside of you- You following suit- while your name fell from his lips in a guttural moan. And Jihoon didn’t stop there. As soon as you were finally coming down from your orgasm, he slipped his cock out of you and pulled you over to his desk before bending you over it and sliding back into you.
He fucked you again there until, once again, you were cumming all over his cock and then he dragged you to his couch and fucked you until you were both cumming all over again.
When his cock finally stilled inside of you, you felt like you were going to pass out you were so exhausted.
“That...” You trailed off, your words lost in pants. “That was amazing.”
“Yeah,” Jihoon breathed. He pressed a chaste kiss to your neck.
“You were amazing,” he mumbled. “But, uh, what does it mean when two people fake dating have sex?”
The reminder of what you two actually were to each other made you swallow thickly.
“Uh,” you weren’t sure what to say. “We could be real.”
You felt Jihoon shift against you.
“Real?”
You nodded.
“Really dating.”
You glanced back at him, face red from both the sex and what you were saying.
“That’s what I want.”
A ghost of a smile crossed Jihoon’s lips.
“I want that,” he agreed softly.
Jihoon had insisted you stay in his studio longer but after cleaning up and letting him hold you on the couch for a while you told him that you needed to go. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to stay with him, but you had to be up early, and you knew that you shouldn’t stay too late.
You tidied yourself up a little bit before you left. You combed your fingers through your hair and tried to straighten out your somewhat wrinkled clothes but as soon as you bumped into Jeonghan as you were leaving Jihoon’s studio you knew you were fucked. (Well, in a different way than before.)
Jeonghan raised his hands and began to clap slowly for you as you walked down the hallway towards him.
“Look at you,” he said. “Who knew you had it in you?”
You raised one of your hands to your face, hiding behind it.
“Shut up Jeonghan,” you murmured.
“I’m just surprised is all,” Jeonghan said. He wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close to his body. “I didn’t think you had it in you to confess to Jihoon. Much less fuck him all at the same time.”
You dropped your hand from your face and immediately regretted it when you saw the way Jeonghan was looking at you. That stupid shit-eating grin spread across his lips.
“Did he find out how much of a bottom you are?”
Sometimes you regretted how much you told Jeonghan about yourself. He always found a way to use that information against you.
“What are you doing around here anyways?” You asked, hoping Jeonghan would accept the subject change.
“I actually came to check on you.”
You were lucky.
“Check on me?” You asked, surprise crossing your face. “Why would you do that?”
“Your solo debut and group comeback is in two weeks,” Jeonghan replied. “It’s about time for you to hole yourself up in the dance practice room and completely disappear from the people who care about you.”
You snorted, but even as you did you noted that he was right. The pressure of two promotions in one promotional period had been building up on you. Being with Jihoon tonight had been partly a distraction from how stressed you were beginning to be.
“You worry too much,” you disregarded. “You’re really telling me that you don’t like the break from me?”
Jeonghan snickered.
“Don’t tease me with a good time,” he said teasingly. Then, a more serious expression crossed his face. “But seriously. You’re going to push yourself too hard.”
“I’m not going to push myself too hard,” you said, but you knew that it was a lie, and Jeonghan did too.
“I’ll tell Jihoon,” Jeonghan threatened.
“What’s he going to do?” You asked with a scoff.
“Well, if your hair is any evidence of how well you listen to him-”
You shoved Jeonghan into the wall, making him laugh.
“Seriously, if you need a friend. You’ve got me, okay?”
You nodded.
“I know Jeonghan.”
And thus, you shot into the next era of your life. Soon Kwonyoung, you and the dance room.
The hours you spent training before debut didn’t amount to this. You barely ate, you slept three hours a night and you practiced. Songs on repeat, over and over again, burning the choreography and lyrics into your brain so that there was no error for mistakes.
“You scare me when you’re like this,” Soonyoung said with a shake of his head. “You’re clocking hours in the dance room I’ve never seen before.”
“Just don’t tell Jihoon.”
You laughed when you said it, but you weren’t joking in the slightest. You were going miles to try and make it seem like you weren’t driving yourself too hard.
You pretended like you were going to bed early, and you showered before practices with him so that he didn’t know you had been at it all day and you had threatened multiple people not to rat you out, but sometimes even the most effort wasn’t enough.
“I’m off to bed,” you said, finally standing up from where you had been stretching on the floor.
“Yeah? Me too,” Jihoon replied. “I know we’ve never done this before but maybe you can stay the night with me? It’d be nice to be close to you.”
Your heart skipped a beat in your chest at the suggestion but the gnawing reminder that you needed to practice didn’t even let you entertain it.
“Oh, I promised the girls I would make them breakfast in the morning,” you replied. “Maybe another night? After the promotional period.”
Jihoon hummed.
“Or I could stay at your place, then you could make breakfast and we could have a sleep over.”
Fuck.
“My room is so dirty right now,” you lied. “I would hate to have you in there you can barely walk in it.”
Jihoon stared at you his expression serious and unamused. You sighed.
“Who told on me?” You asked finally.
“Who didn’t?” Jihoon replied. “Your group, Soonyoung, Jeonghan.”
He shook his head.
“Word on the street is that I’m the world’s worst boyfriend.”
You pouted.
“That’s not fair.”
“Well?” Jihoon pressed. “We start promoting in two days now and you haven’t slept more than five hours in two weeks.”
You knew that Jihoon was being highly hypocritical. He spent days straight in the studio when he was really focused on working. You knew that somedays he hardly slept, and his life revolved around his work. You opened your mouth to tell him just that- That he was a hypocrite that he did this all the time, but your words died on your lips.
“You know, you really changed Jihoon.”
You glanced over at Soonyoung, eyebrows furrowing.
“What do you mean?”
“He’s cut down a lot on those behaviors that made him... Jihoon.”
“That sounds bad,” you said bluntly. Soonyoung’s eyes widened.
“No, no it’s the bad behaviors. Never sleeping, staying up in the studio all the time. It’s like he’s that Jihoon we knew from pre-debut all over again. He knocked on my front door and invited me to eat noodles together last night before he went to bed. At 8!”
You stared at Soonyoung.
“That’s not thanks to me,” you replied. “All I’m doing is dating him.”
“Yeah, but it started because you cared enough to make him go home that day. Ever since it’s like he’s been thinking about how him not taking care of himself effects the people he cares about.”
Soonyoung glanced around the room as if someone might overhear him.
“He apologized to Mingyu for blowing him off so much recently.”
Soonyoung shook his head in disbelief.
“He really loves you y/n. He’s willing to do better for you.”
You really hated it when other people were actually good to you. It was so much easier when you didn’t have a standard to meet.
“Okay,” you relented. Jihoon’s eyebrows raised.
“Okay?” Jihoon asked.
“Okay, I’ll stop freaking out over this comeback debut thing,” you replied, your frustration becoming evident as you spoke. Jihoon’s hands raised, seeming to recognize that this was the sort of tone that usually led you two into an argument.
“I’m not saying that you’re freaking out,” he said softly. “I just want you to take a nap.”
His eyes trailed away from you for a second.
“Or just sleep in general. Eight hours.”
“I’m not trying to disregard my health and block everyone out-”
“Well, you’re not really blocking out Soonyoung-”
“I’m just stressed,” you admitted. “And I don’t really know how to deal with stress... So, I just push myself so hard that I don’t have to deal with stress.”
Jihoon nodded knowingly, which made the frustration that was budding in your throat cull just a little bit. The only reason that you were able to even tell him this was because you knew that Jihoon was the same in this regard.
You felt like everyone at Pledis knew that when Jihoon didn’t know how to deal with his emotions, he dug himself into his work. Maybe that was one of the reasons you had hated him so much before. In ways, you saw yourself in him.
“But I really like you,” you mumbled, and again that pressure made you want to pull the words right from your mouth. “So, I’ll do this for you.”
You wondered for a moment if Jihoon realized how much you really hated to say this. It was weird, just how much the frustration was crawling inside of you. Why did this make you so uncomfortable? Wasn’t this the sort of thing that you had always been wanting from a relationship? Someone who pushed you to be a better person.
What about being vulnerable was making it so hard to breath?
Jihoon cleared his throat, dragging your attention right back to him. He gave you half a smile.
“Stay with me tonight?” He asked. “Maybe being with someone will help you a bit.”
You nodded.
“Yeah,” you agreed. “I think it will.”
-
“Are you nervous?” Ai asked. You glanced over at her, noticing that she was messing with a stray ribbon on her outfit. You smiled softly at her and took the ribbon in your hands, securing it on her outfit.
“Of course, I’m nervous,” you assured. “But we’ve practiced like crazy, we’re going to do amazing.”
“I still don’t know how you’re going to do it,” Ai said, shaking her head. “Two promotions? That’s crazy.”
“It’s not crazy, it’s like a concert with three songs back-to-back and two costume changes,” you said, brushing off the comment. “It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fun.”
“But-”
Before Ai could say more a hand found its way to your waist, you turned around, smiling at Jihoon who had a concerned expression spread over his face.
“Hey, you go on soon,” he said softly. You smiled gummily at him.
“And we go on soon after,” you reminded him. As you were looking at him, you noticed that whatever they had put on his lips smudged a little. You reached up and swiped it away with your thumb.
“You’re nervous,” Jihoon mumbled. You shrugged off-handedly at the comment.
“I’m sure you are too. But our song is doing really well. I told you it would be better if we worked together on it.”
Jihoon rolled his eyes.
“I only didn’t want to because we could barely interact with each other without arguing.”
You decided to ignore him. Instead, you just stared at him. He looked so good in his stage makeup. You thought eyeliner was an underrated look on him.
You wanted to kiss him so bad but you knew it would ruin your lipstick and his and your stylists would be mad. Besides…
“Places in five,” one of the stagehands said, placing their hand on your shoulder. They looked between you and Jihoon, shaking their head in disbelief at the two of you. “Idols openly dating…”
And then the stagehand was gone. You looked at Jihoon, rolling your eyes in reaction.
“I’ll see you soon,” you said. He nodded.
“Good luck.”
The thing about your dances was energy. The reason you had spent so much time in the studio running both dances wasn’t necessarily to make sure that you did the dance right, though that was part of it. You did them so much so that you would have the stamina to do both with full energy without dying.
Your comeback with your group was called Shimmer. It was poppy and lighthearted. It required the complicated choreography to seem effortless, and it required constant stage presence.
You had always been good at that stuff, but only because you had practiced it so much.
At the end of your performance of Shimmer you were barely winded and getting into costume and new makeup for your next performance only took fifteen minutes.
As you and Jihoon took your places on stage, Jihoon’s hand slid onto the small of your back.
“Ready?” He asked.
“Ready.”
Your song with Jihoon was darker, and less pop teen artist then your other song. It fit your age a lot better, but the steps were just as complicated as Shimmer and the partner work was just that much harder.
But when you and Jihoon ended the dance, inches from each other’s face, a huge smile spread of your lips. You waited a few seconds but before too long had passed you were jumping forward, wrapping your arms around Jihoon’s neck and dragging him into a deep, celebratory kiss.
-
“To one successful stage! Leading to many others!” Chae said. The four of you cheered in agreement, clinking your shot glasses together. You all took a shot at the same time, the soju spreading warmth through your chest.
You didn’t drink a lot, but when it was for something like this? You knew you had to. You wouldn’t be able to get drunk with your best friends in the world forever.
“You know, you did so well with your stage with Jihoon it was like you hadn’t just performed full energy with us.”
You waved a hand in the air.
“It was easy when I have four of the best dance partners in the world.”
The conversation of the evening quickly turned from talk of the stages that you had just performed, to talk of the stages that you would perform, to petty arguments about dumb movies you had all watched together before.
It was nice to let loose with them. Even with your movie nights it felt like your life with the girls primarily revolved around work. You hardly got time off as idols. It was nice to kick back and relax.
As Ai and Chae were going back and forth about a character that Ai had loved and Chae hated, Nari’s phone went off and she looked down at it. Her smile faded as she stared at the screen.
“Nari, what’s wrong?” You asked. She stared at her phone for another few seconds, garnering Ai and Chae’s attention. All three of you waited patiently for Nari to respond. Finally, she looked up, her eyes wide and trained on yours.
“You and Jihoon are faking your relationship?”
It was like time stopped. Your eyebrows furrowed, and you stood up, trying to lean over the table to see Nari’s phone, but she hid it from you. You felt your heart beating faster in your chest. Had Jeonghan texted her? That was the only thing you could think right now, but that didn’t make any sense. Why would Jeonghan text her something like that? There was no reason to expose you and Jihoon.
“How do you know that?” You asked. Ai’s eyes widened at that.
“Wait, you are?” She blurted. You raised your hand in the air.
“What? No!” You blurted. You felt that familiar feeling of frustration crawling up your throat. “Well, we were, but we aren’t anymore.”
The others in your group just stared at you.
“It’s complicated.”
“Why would you lie to us about that?” Ai asked, and the look on her face broke your heart.
“It wasn’t my choice,” you said softly. You looked around at your friends, noticing they were all looking at you with matching expressions of hurt. “Really! You were the last people I wanted to lie to. I love you guys! You were the first ones that I wanted to tell.”
They all looked away from you, making your frustration claw at your throat even more.
“Guys, seriously. It killed me to not tell you,” you insisted. “Sungsoo didn’t let us tell anyone, the only reason Jeonghan knew-”
“Jeonghan, knew?” Nari blurted.
“Jeonghan didn’t tell you?” You blurted back. Suddenly, a feeling other then frustration of your friends not understanding why you lied to them was filling the pit of your stomach. “Nari, how did you find out?”
“How could you tell Jeonghan?” Chae asked, her voice low.
“Sungsoo!” You exclaimed. “Sungsoo, said that we couldn’t tell anyone because if the truth got out it would ruin our careers.”
“But you hated Jihoon,” Chae pointed out. “Why did you care?”
“I don’t know! I just did. Wouldn’t you care?”
They were all silent.
“Guys, seriously, I’m really sorry. It killed me to lie to you. I wanted you all to know the truth so badly, but I really need to know how you found out that our relationship was fake.”
You directed your attention to Nari again. Her facial expression was softer.
“You really wanted to tell us?” She asked. You nodded.
“Of course I did. You were the first ones I wanted to tell,” you assured. “I love you. All of you.”
It was probably just the alcohol, but suddenly Ai blurted out: “We love you too.” Tears streaming down her face. You breathed out in relief, as the three girls got up, dragging you into a hug. It made you feel better, but only a little bit.
“Nari, I really hate to interrupt this moment, but seriously this could ruin Jihoon’s career. Please tell me that you won’t tell anyone.”
“I mean, I won’t say anything,” Nari replied innocently. “But by tomorrow just about everyone will know.”
She raised her phone into the air.
“There’s an article about it.”
-
“I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to bring you guys here for this,” Sungsoo said with a heavy sigh. “The truth is out. The article was posted.”
You glanced at Jihoon, but he wasn’t looking at you. His attention was on a small spot on the floor. You wanted to get him to look at you but neither of you had told Sungsoo that you two were actually dating now and it seemed like Jihoon was trying to make it seem as if nothing had changed.
“There’s got to be something we can do-”
“There is,” Sungsoo agreed. “We’ll have to pause your debut promotions. Jihoon, your activities with Seventeen are going to be paused while the company tries to figure out what to do.”
“What?” You blurted. “There’s nothing to figure out! You know that Jihoon doesn’t deserve to be paused.”
“You knew the consequences if this article got out,“ Sungsoo replied, sharpening his gaze towards you. “I’ll be honest Jihoon. Seventeen might become a twelve member group.”
“What?”
You shot up to your feet, knocking your chair onto the floor. Sungsoo closed his eyes in frustration.
“My hands are tied here.”
“No they aren’t!” You glanced at Jihoon, letting your frustration spill out of your mouth with your words. “You don’t have to do that. You can’t do that.”
You looked to Sungsoo and then back to Jihoon.
“Jihoon! Say something- Anything. You can’t just let this happen!” You insisted. Jihoon’s eyes finally rose to yours, a smile crossing his lips.
“You know what I’ve always found endearing?” He asked you, his voice small. “You find it so hard to keep your emotions in check when they’re too intense.”
He stood up, taking your hand in his.
“It’s okay. It’s over.”
“No-” You said. “No. You can’t just give up! Where’s Seungcheol? Someone get me Seungcheol.”
Jihoon squeezed your hand.
“And you’re so stubborn. It’s over. We don’t need to do this anymore.”
Jihoon dropped your hand and you felt your heart drop.
“What?” You asked. He looked away from you.
“I mean, there’s no need to fake anymore right?” He asked. “So we should... Take a break.”
You didn’t get hurt a lot, but this was something completely different then you had expected. You had spent so much time fretting over what kind of things would happen if things got out but you had never imagined that Jihoon would break up with you over it.
“Hey-”
“Thanks for trying,” Jihoon said. He turned away from you and Sungsoo. “See you.”
And before you could say more, he was gone.
You stood there, wordless, staring at the door that Jihoon had just left out of. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening.
You turned back to Sungsoo.
“It seems like you need a second to process,” Sungsoo said. “Your promotions won’t be paused. Your career is fine.”
“I’ll be back,” you said, your voice sharp. “With Seungcheol. And we’ll talk again.”
You placed your hand on the doorknob.
“Don’t go anywhere.”
-
“Seungcheol!”
You ran down the hallway of Pledis’ dorm rooms, staring at the numbers as you strained to remember which door was Seventeen’s leader.
“Seungcheol.”
You skidded to a stop in front of the one you thought was his. You slammed your palms against the door frantically.
“Seungcheol, Seungcheol, Seung-”
The door pulled open and you came face to face with shaggy brown hair and a tired looking boy. His eyebrows furrowed.
“Hey, what are you-?”
You brushed past him into his room, feeling relieved when you realized that Seungcheol wasn’t alone.
“Jeonghan, thank god.”
“Sure just come in,” Seungcheol breathed. “I’m sure Jihoon won’t mind that his significant other just barged into my room.”
“It’s important,” you replied.
You frantically pulled out your phone, shoving the phone article into Jeonghan’s face.
“The article got out and it’s worse then it was before.”
“Shit,” Jeonghan said, taking your phone from your hand. Seungcheol’s eyebrows furrowed.
“What article?”
“Jihoon and I were pretending to date because I hated him so much that it was going to ruin Jihoon’s career. But then we actually fell in love- Well I fell in love, and now he wants to take a break and-” You sucked in a breath. “Sorry, the break isn’t important. He’s being suspended from Seventeen. Sungsoo said he’s probably going to be taken out of the group completely.”
“What?” Jeonghan and Seungcheol blurted.
You nodded.
“Sorry, I was focusing on the wrong thing,” you mumbled.
“Sungsoo is taking Jihoon out of Seventeen?” Seungcheol repeated. “But he’s one of our leaders- He writes our music-“
“Despite the whole hate thing being my fault, the article that got released is slamming Jihoon’s career not mine.”
“Look, y/n, the solution to all of this is simple,” Jeonghan said, ignoring your partially distracted line of thought.
Now it was your turn to look confused.
“It is?”
“We have to stay on top of things. You need to do something now.”
Jeonghan looked at Seungcheol.
“Doesn’t Mina have a talk show she’s hosting tonight?”
Seungcheol nodded.
“We need y/n on that show.”
“What’s me being on a talk show going to do?” You asked.
“Just tell the truth!” Jeonghan insisted. “Admit it was fake, tell them it’s not now, tell them what you learned. That Jihoon is a great guy.”
“Yeah but that doesn’t stop Sungsoo from kicking him out of the group.”
“That’s what you were coming to me right?” Seungcheol asked. He looked confused… rightfully so, but he also looked determined. “I’ll talk to Sungsoo.”
He raised his phone.
“I’ll call Mina and get you on that show.”
You nodded.
“Okay, okay I should talk to Jihoon,” you mumbled. “Tell him what’s happening.”
You paused, mulling over what you had just said. For a moment, you stared at Jeonghan and Seungcheol. Jeonghan, who had an expression of pure pity written on his face.
There was something to be said about Jeonghan. When it came to you he wasn’t always good at hiding his emotions. Maybe it was something that you two had fed into each other.
Two people great at hiding their emotions, awful doing it to one another. Something that had fed into your relationship with Jihoon. You chewed uncertainly on your bottom lip.
“A break means I don’t need to tell him everything... Doesn’t it?”
You were used to Jeonghan telling you bluntly that you were an idiot when it came to relationship things. He had been so relentless when teasing you about everything with Jihoon.
“You should focus on clearing his name, I think.”
Seeing him tell you something like that so seriously made your heart stop.
“Yeah.”
You glanced at Seungcheol, wondering what he could possibly think of you now that he knew that your screwed up actions were the reason that Seventeen might become a twelve-member group.
You looked away, pressing your eyes tightly shut.
That was a can of worms to open another day. Now, what you needed to focus on was clearing Jihoon’s name.
You had an interview to get to.
-
“So, you know why you’re here, I know why you’re here. Does your company?”
You laughed along with Mina, but your heart was not on the same track as you. It was still beating out of your chest. You thought for sure that Mina could hear it but she just smiled at you.
“So you and Jihoon? Hate his guts, forced to date. Tell me what that was like.”
“Honestly?” You said. Mina nodded.
“Honestly.”
You could barely hear her over your heart. And it was hot. Why were these studio lights so hot? It was like they were burning your skin.
“I hated it,” you breathed. “Oh my god, can you imagine? You spend years hating everything about this guy. His attitude, the way he talked to you, the way he talked to others, how he spends all his time locked up in his studio neglecting his friends.”
You interrupted yourself to blow air out of your mouth briskly.
“To start I just... We couldn’t stop arguing. I kept picking fights with him. Actually, I always picked fights with him. He just walked in a room and I would find a reason to fight with him.”
“You?” Mina asked, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “You would pick fights?”
“All the time. Jihoon would do absolutely nothing just... Breath and I would find a reason to yell at him about something stupid. I was so unreasonable.”
You shook your head.
“No one really thinks I would be like that. But I was, for so long I was just so unreasonable towards him.”
“Yeah but... I mean we’ve all read the article. He deserved it. He must have and you had to fake date him over it!”
“I used to think that he deserved it too,” you said. “I used to think I was this poor tortured person who had to date someone who was absolutely terrible.”
You looked up at Mina.
“You know what the worst part about pretending to date someone is?”
Mina leaned in like you were going to impart on her some huge secret.
“What?” She asked.
“You get to know them,” you replied, with a slow nod. “Fake dating Jihoon was hard but only because I began to realize that I hated him for no reason at all.”
Mina scoffed.
“No reason?”
“None Mina. Jihoon is kind, and thoughtful. The sort of person who looks out for those he cares about. He’s soft-spoken with people he doesn’t know, but he is always looking out for the other trainees.
He’s dedicated to his work. To a fault really. He is so obsessed with being good, showing everyone that he deserves the position he has worked so hard for. I used to think he was cold, but seeing the side of him that I got lucky enough to be shown I know that I was wrong.
I didn’t deserve to get to know him.”
You shrugged, looking down at your hands.
“I was horrible to him. I yelled at him, accused him of awful things. He had a crush on me. I turned someone who had a crush on me against me for no reason at all.”
You looked back up at Mina, giving her a pressed smile.
“I know that article seems incriminating, and Jihoon is easy to hate, but know that he is really easy to...” You trailed off. You missed him. “Jihoon is really easy to love. Take it from someone who used to hate him because I didn’t know him. He is the best person I have ever met in my life, and I love him so much.”
-
Your trip back to your dorm was lonely. It was cold, and it was wet, and it was lonely.
So when you turned down your hall to your dorm and you saw a familiar figure leaning against the door to your dorm, you felt like you could cry.
Your arms fell limply to your sides, a pout spreading over your face. You stared at Jihoon from across the hall.
“Breaks are stupid,” you whined. Jihoon’s head popped up, and his eyes met yours. A small smile crossing his lips.
“We’ve been on a break for...” He trailed off and glanced at his watch. “Not even twelve hours.”
“And it’s stupid,” you replied. “Really stupid.”
You didn’t wait for Jihoon to give you permission, or to say anything more. You rushed across the hall and threw yourself against him, pressing your face into his chest.
“Stupid,” you mumbled into his chest. He laughed, wrapping his arms around you.
“Hey... Thanks for going on that show,” he said. You nodded.
“Yeah. It’s the least I could do.”
Jihoon was silent again for a while.
“Did you mean what you said on the show?” He asked. You looked up at him from his chest.
“Of course, I did,” you said. You thought back to what you said and suddenly warmth began to spread to your cheeks. You felt like you were burning against Jihoon. Had you really said all those stupid things? “Don’t be dumb Jihoon. Of course I meant every word.”
Jihoon scoffed.
“You always going to be like this?” He asked. “Resort to insulting me whenever you get embarrassed.”
Your face burned and you hid it into Jihoon’s chest.
“Yeah.”
“Good,” he mumbled. “Let’s get you to bed, okay?”
You nodded, and looked up and just as you did, Jihoon pressed his lips to yours, dragging you into a brief kiss.
“I love you too.”
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