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japanessie · 5 years

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MY FIRST STORY on Hey! Hey! NEO! with Downtown 30 Sept 2019

MFS was so excited over this one. Must be an honour to be invited to be a guest for these famous comedians, eh?

Disclaimer: I did this with a lot of help from FujiTV onscreen captions and Google speech capture technology wherever possible. My ears can’t do this 100% on their own LOL. Not to mention listening to this a countless number of times! Hundreds! I also rephrased things liberally here and there. The photo collages only serve as a summary. Surely a lot of things were misheard too. Sorry for all the mistakes and fails 🙈 . Here, I picked some parts of the lively conversation and left out the rest that I’m so hopeless at. Words in italic or bracket are my own addition. I also selected some Japanese words to remember and left out the ones I’m not ready for. Sorry it makes things look messy.

A bit of background…..

DOWNTOWN is a popular Japanese comedy duo from Hyogo consisting of members Hitoshi Matsumoto and Masatoshi Hamada. So, this means, they use a lot of Kansai-ben. I can’t even pass standard Japanese, let alone Kansai dialect LOL.

MY FIRST STORY held a lottery for Fan Club members to attend the recording at FUJI TV, Odaiba City on 23 Sept 2019. I didn’t apply because I knew I would not be able to understand things on the spot. Not to mention I had no money to go anyway 😂. Congrats to those who got picked to go!

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MFS the “handsome"band?

Hitoshi Matsumoto: You guys are kinda like "Visual Kei”.

Hiro: (surprised) Really??

Hitoshi Matsumoto: Very handsome*.

* Not sure if he mentioned someone’s name or what with it.

Masatoshi Hamada: EH? (…looking at Hiro’s face…)

Everyone: (laughs)

Hitoshi Matsumoto: But I’m sorry ok (…putting his hand on Nob…), you are the least popular, I understand that*.

* Oh my God, that’s brutal (but I’m still laughing). Sorry Nob.

Everyone: (laughs hysterically) Nob: (smiles and nods*)

* Aww…. Nob is so gentle & accepting. It’s not like he’s ugly though. Far from it. Especially if you’ve seen him in person. But it’s hard not to look super “unpretty” when sitting next to pretty boys like Hiro, Teru and Kid'z.

Masatoshi Hamada: But first, they debuted seven years ago.

Hitoshi Matsumoto: Since we know nothing about it, were you guys already this good-looking from the band’s formation time?

MFS members: (… err… how to answer this one?…)

Hiro: (…awkwardly..) I guess so. Maybe.

Masatoshi Hamada: Any huge place you guys want to perform in*?

* Actually I’m not really sure what he said. Just guessing ….haha.

Hitoshi Matsumoto: (putting his hand on Nob again) Any problem with him*?

* Kinda like any problem with having a not-so-handsome guy in a band of handsome guys? OMG, brutal LOL

Everyone: (laughs)

Nob: (..somewhat startled…. what, me?)

Hiro: (raises his hand and laughs) No, no. We’re not that kind of band. He’s fine.

Hitoshi Matsumoto: (nudging Nob) Don’t take it to heart, eh? Don’t take it to heart *.

* Not sure if that’s what he meant. Just guessing … huhu.

Everyone: (laughs)

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Hiro is such a chatterbox, they think he should just enter a grand competition

Hitoshi Matsumoto: (to Hiro) You’re such a talker*! (pretending to look annoyed) Are you going on R-1 Grand Prix or what!

* 喋り達者 / shaberitachisha (?) / master talker, chatterbox

Everybody: (laughs)

Hitoshi Matsumoto: I can’t even talk at all (when Hiro talks)!

Hiro: (laughs) No, no! I’m not going on R-1!

*R-1 Grand Prix is a popular competition where entertainers compete with each other making jokes or whatever funny things to win the title of champion.

* LOL Do you think Hiro talks too much?

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The Downtown guys know Hiro’s parents very well and are particularly good friends with Mama Mori

Masatoshi Hamada & Hitoshi Matsumoto: (bowing to Hiro in respect to Mama Mori) Send our regards to your mother.

Hiro: (bowing back) Thank you.

* Mama Mori did background narration for the comedy duo for many many years.

Hitoshi Matsumoto: I’ve been to your father’s concerts too.

Hiro: Ah, thank you so much (bowing to Matsumoto-san)

* Sorry, I don’t really understand everything else 😕. Matsumoto-san also mimicked Papa Mori’s onstage self-introduction but I couldn’t capture what was the joke… huhu 🙈.

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MFS team’s penchant for pranks & Nob’s heart of gold

Masatoshi Hamada: You guys like pranks very much, don’t you?

Hiro: We are mischievous with each other, either with the members or the staff. We do some light-hearted* “hidden camera” thingy. Playful**. Playing stuff on each other (laughs)

* 軽い / かるい / karui / light

* *遊び心 / あそびごころ / asobigokoro / playful

Masatoshi Hamada: (pointing at Kid'z and Nob) It was labour intensive* on you two.

* 骨 / ほね / hone / labourous

* 粗大な / そだいな / sodaina / grand

Kid'z & Nob: (smiling & nodding together)

Hitoshi Matsumoto: Well, keep telling. About the after party and all.

Masatoshi Hamada: You did that in Taiwan!

Everyone: (watching clips of Kid'z and Nob being pranked)

* ネタバラシ / netabarashi / spoiler

Masatoshi Hamada: (patting Nob) That’s horrible, ne~? Did you feel it was really serious, that being overseas?

Nob: Well, I didn’t know a word (of Chinese). So, I was like, “Could I have brought this powder with me or what?” (gesturing being shown a packet of powder with his hands).

* 粉 / kona / powder

Everyone: (laughs)

* Both Matsumoto-san and Hamada-san couldn’t believe what they heard.

Masatoshi Hamada: (walking up to Nob and tapping his body)

Hitoshi Matsumoto: (reaching for Nob too & repeatedly slamming his hand up & down) Then you (should) just clearly* DENY** it!

* 明確 / めいかく / meikaku / clear, firm, solid, assure, precise

** 否定する / hitei suru / deny

Nob: (looking blurred & clueless)

Everyone: (laughs)

Hiro: (astonished at how goody-two-shoes Nob can be) You don’t say, “Could this be my powder?” in that situation!! You didn’t bring that, right?!

Everyone: (laughs)

Hiro: In order to do that hidden camera prank, we firstly had to go on a special* trip to Taiwan. Then we had to add one Live performance to it too.

＊わざわざ / waza waza / specially, doing something specially rather than incidentally

Hitoshi Matsumoto: So, you did not do that onwards from that Taiwan live show?

Hiro: Yup, it was the other way round.

Audience: Eh??!!

Masatoshi Hamada: (referring to the clip) That (felt like) half a year…

Hitoshi Matsumoto: (…looking at Nob…) Dang! THAT entire time you were getting nothing BUT scolded* (by those actors?)?

* 恨まれる / uramareru / get scolded, get cursed ~ from the word 恨む / uramu

Everyone: (laughs)

Nob: (smiling and shaking his head)

* OMG, Nob is unbelievably nice! He’s not bitter at all.

Hitoshi Matsumoto: You’re the stuff for Wednesday’s Downtown*! (laughs)

* Wednesday’s Downtown is their famous comedy show.

——————————————

Why Teru was never picked for pranks?

Masatoshi Hamada: (puts hand on Teru) You are the only one who has never been pranked?

Teru: Yes, that’s right. I don’t know, (…looking at Hiro….) do you hate* me or something?

* Aww 😍…. so all this time, Teru actually feels being left out by Hiro 😮? He was like, Hiro, why you never want to pick me 😕?

嫌わる / kirawareru / be hated ~ from the word 嫌う / kirau / hate, dislike

Hiro: No, no! The thing is, if it’s him (….pointing at Teru…), it wouldn’t be as funny.

Everyone: (laughs)

Masatoshi Hamada: How is that?

Hiro: He’s like (…still pointing at Teru …), whatever that’s happening*, he is unperturbed most of the time **.

* 起きる / おきる / okiru / get up, rise, occur, takes place

** 動じる / どうじる / doujiru / move, shift, motion

Teru: (laughs)

Hitoshi Matsumoto: Aah you know, my eyes can see around and filter out for certain* who’s funny and who’s not.

* 確かに / tashikani / certainly, surely

Note: I only guessed the rest of his sentence LOL

Everyone: Ok (…. anticipating Matsumoto-san’s verdict….)

Hitoshi Matsumoto: (…looking at Teru “scanning” him with a very serious face…) This one so totally NOT funny.

Teru: (…covers his face in embarrassment…)

* Spot on 😄! Teru oh Teru. When he tries to be funny, he just becomes corny & awkward instead. Strangely, when he’s not trying to be, that’s when he’s accidentally downright hilarious 😂

Everyone: (laughs)

Hiro: You may stop it right there * (laughs).

* Haha, so, it basically just stops there with Teru. Pranks may not work well on him because of his non-reaction to abnormal situations 😄. But a true bromance story 😍. Hiro spared you all these times because he knew your character so well, Teru 🤗❤️💕.

* Aww... Teru was so embarrassed to be branded unfunny 😄.

——————————————

I don’t fully understand the joke where they asked Teru if he had some prank ideas on Hiro 🙈😭

*Disclaimer: Below is my best guess.

Masatoshi Hamada: (putting hand on Teru) How about your own?

Hiro: (realizing Hamada-san’s intention) For me?

Teru: (scratching his head) Hmm

Audience: Aaahhh!!

Hitoshi Matsumoto: (to Kid’z & Nob) Do you have something good for (prank) ideas?

Teru: (pointing to Kid’z, Nob & himself) The three of us are setting it up*. (nodding)**

* 仕掛ける / shikakeru / set up

** Does that mean “Yes, we’re thinking of pranking Hiro” 😍 ?

Hiro: (wide-eyed & taken aback by Teru’s answer) Holy cow! !

Masatoshi Hamada: Ah, good (….making a hand gesture as if putting something into something else….)*

* Don’t know the words he said here. Sorry 🙈.

Hiro: That’s not even a hidden camera thing!

Everyone: (laughs)

Masatoshi Hamada: You 3 guys can (shackle) him down and ….

Hiro: (looking at Hamada-san) That’s not even…!

Nob: (pretending to …hmm…. pour water onto something?)

Hiro: Normally I would already be complaining*!

* 訴えます / uttaemasu / complain

Hitoshi Matsumoto: Maybe make it like Masako-chan’s* hair or something (gesturing 2 pointy things on his head).

* If Matsumoto-san meant Masako-chan as Mama Mori, then I guess he was saying to tie Hiro’s hair into two girly piggy tails like his mother likes to do during her comedy skits as まーちゃん (Maa-chan).

Everyone: (hysterically laughs)

Hiro: (waving his hand & shaking his head) Ehh! How are you even going to get close to doing that?!!*

* Lets’s take Matsumoto-san’s suggestion LOL 😂 😂 😂

* Hiroki, you cunning little one! You’re so NOT wiggling your way out of this LOL

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How was that, my fellow MFS fans? I hope the rough idea is there even if I couldn’t get the thing 100% right.

Help and corrections are very much welcomed. Hehe!

Would love to hear your feedback about this talk. Do you think MFS is visually pleasing to the eye? Does Hiro talk too much? Do you feel Teru has no funny bones? Do you want to see Hiro getting pranked?

Oh wow! To me, I can see why DOWNTOWN is such a popular comedy team in Japan. They truly are hilarious! Thank you Matsumoto-san & Hamada-san.

#my first story #maifasu #teruki nishizawa #hiroki moriuchi #nobuaki katou #japanese comedy #kid'z didn't say a word

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