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wheresarizona · 10 months

Text

Bluebonnet

summary: Is Joel Miller your friend? No. You’re not even sure if he actually likes you or just puts up with you because of his kid. Then he kicks some guy's ass in a bar for getting handsy with you, and you’re starting to think maybe he might like you a little…

rating: E (18+!! No y/n, Grumpy Joel Miller, Protective Joel Miller, Soft Joel Miller, age gap (unspecified but reader was born before the outbreak), unprotected p in v (wrap it up), creampie, oral sex (f + m receiving), 69 position, dirty talk, praise kink, spanking, spit mention, slight breeding kink, Joel has a big dick, Joel being kinda a dick, a random guy harassing you then getting beat up by Joel, canon typical violence, icing Joel’s knuckles, feelings confessions, Ellie being Ellie and the star of the show, AU where Joel doesn’t lie to Ellie and their relationship is still good)

pairing: Joel Miller/f!reader

word count: 5.5k+

a/n: Literally, a scene in this woke me up from dead sleep at five in the goddamn morning, and I spent thirty minutes plotting the whole one shot while barely awake. This fic was very spur of the moment that I wrote in less than two days, so it’s unbeta’d. All mistakes are my own. Please be horny about Joel protecting you with me.

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!

Masterlist

Is Joel Miller your friend?

No.

Are you on friendly terms?

You thought so.

Joel isn’t the most social of fellas—he’s basically a feral cat that wants to be left alone.

If you aren’t friends with him, then how did you become the regular occupant of the seat across from his in the Jackson mess hall every breakfast and dinner?

The answer is simple: Ellie.

It all started months ago when you first got to Jackson and met the teen after being assigned to a job rotation with her. She was so excited about finding out you lived in Texas for many years before the world went to hell she invited you to eat dinner with her so you could meet someone, and that’s how you were introduced to Austin-native Joel Miller.

He’s a bit older than you, never smiles, and isn’t much of a talker but still polite enough to answer a question if you ask it, even if it’s more of a grumble at the start of the day. With Ellie, though, it was different. He talked to her, and his voice was like coming home after a long day and settling in on the couch—that familiar Texan accent making you feel all warm and comfy, his words wrapping around you like a tight blanket and taking you back to a time when things were good and safe.

The morning after the first dinner, Ellie had called you over to sit with them for breakfast, and again that evening, little bits of conversation happening between bites as you got a grasp on what the relationship was between this young girl and man—it was clearly father-daughter in nature even if she didn’t call him ‘dad,’ and you savored every word she wheedled out of him.

It got to the point where the teenager didn’t have to beckon you over, and you just knew to set your food down in the seat in front of Joel to eat with them, always smiling at Ellie giving him so much shit, chatting with them or more the young girl, with Joel occasionally offering clipped anecdotes, and you trying not to acknowledge his handsomeness—you weren’t sure if he even liked you or if he was just putting up with you for the sake of his kid.

He does have a lovely voice and is very attractive with those expressive chocolate-colored eyes that sometimes soften when he looks at his daughter; you could imagine his grey hair would be soft to the touch, and it’s obvious those full lips of his are kissable. Honestly, it’s surprising he’s not seeing anyone that you know of or Ellie is aware of, with how damn pretty he is.

His broad shoulders and how his flannels stretch over his chest.

His neck.

God, he’s sure nice to look at.

And Ellie is a great kid who trusted you, coming to you anytime she needed advice or wanted to talk about something, and you were happy to be there for her.

The breakfast and dinner routine had been going on for so long that even though Joel didn’t talk at length to you, you’d managed to learn quite a bit about him from questions he’d answer or conversations he had with his kid or brother in front of you. He definitely knew a lot about you, too.

Now, back to why you’re not sure if he likes you.

That morning when you went to breakfast, you were running on autopilot—piled your plate with food, grabbed your cup of shitty coffee that made you want to cry with how much you missed Starbucks, and set it all down in your usual spot, where you started to eat.

When your brain finally began working, that’s when you realized it was abnormally quiet at your table, and you looked up to realize Ellie wasn’t there—it was just Joel. He must have seen some kind of look on your face since he grumbled out she was with a friend. Then when you asked if he wanted you to sit somewhere else, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and he told you no before going back to eating in silence.

That put a point in the maybe he wasn’t just putting up with you for the sake of his daughter column and made you smile a little the rest of the meal.

She wasn’t at dinner either.

This had you standing near your seat, chewing on your lip, debating on sitting elsewhere until Joel sighed loudly, setting down his fork to tell you in a tone that brokered no room for argument to sit, so you did.

After a few bites, you almost choked to death when he asked how your day was.

There was actual back and forth between just the two of you, and you were in heaven at how much he was speaking, another point going toward he might like you.

Those interactions had you feeling really hopeful, and you were excited for breakfast the next day, wondering if he’d try to talk to you more.

It’s been over half a year since you arrived in town, and you have managed to make some friends, who you knew for sure were your friends, and also closer to your age. When a couple of them asked if you wanted to get a drink that night and play some pool, you happily agreed.

The place is practically empty when you arrive.

Standing at the bar, chatting with your friend Mathias as you wait for the bartender to make your drinks, you can feel someone staring at you. Doing a quick glance of the room has your stomach dropping and is the reason you’re pretty fucking sure Joel doesn’t care for you; he’s sitting across the room at a table in the corner, glaring at you—not just glaring, if looks could kill you’d be deader than dead he looks so pissed off, and you’re about to go find out what his problem is when two things happen:

Mathias excuses himself to the restroom, and some man you’ve never seen, let alone spoken to, gets your attention on your other side.

“Hey.” The interloper squeezes your arm, which makes your head turn toward him, shaking him off.

“Don’t touch me,” you reply.

There’s nothing special about the guy—he’s probably younger than you, has floppy blonde hair, and a clean-shaven face, but something in his eyes made you feel uneasy.

“My apologies,” he says, putting up his hands placatingly. “This is my first night here, and I’m just trying to make a new friend. Have a drink with me.”

“Welcome to Jackson, and no, thank you, I’m here with friends.”

“I’m sure they won’t mind if you have one drink with me.” His voice goes lower, “We could have some real fun together.” He has the audacity to grab your ass, and you step out of his reach.

“I said don’t fucking touch me.”

The bartender has gone into the back, Mathias is nowhere in sight, and your other friend is in another room where the pool table is with the jukebox playing.

Something flashes in his eyes, and it has your heart pounding.

“Don’t be like that. Just one drink,” he says, coming closer.

You are readying to fight the bastard when all of a sudden, someone is grabbing his collar, and you see a fist connect with his face in a sickening crunch that makes you gasp.

Joel yanks the guy in front of him.

“She said not to fuckin’ touch her,” he grits through his teeth. “And that she didn’t wanna have a drink with you.”

“I’m sorry,” the other man wheezes, blood oozing from his clearly broken nose. “I’ll leave.”

“Yes, you fuckin’ will—after I teach you some fuckin’ manners.”

With that, he punches him again and again and again.

You’re no damsel in distress—you’ve survived the fucking apocalypse for the last twenty years practically alone and could easily fight your way out of dangerous situations. But having someone stand up for you and protect you? It’s really doing it for you, except you’re genuinely worried Joel will murder this man, so you move toward him.

“Stop, Joel!” you shout, pushing on his shoulder, and he does immediately, his eyes meeting yours. “He’ll leave; toss him out. Please, Joel. Don’t kill him.”

His chest rises and falls as he pants, nodding his head once before hauling the groaning man to the door and throwing him out. The bartender chose that moment to come back, as well as your friend.

There was a worried expression on Mathias’ face. “Is everything okay?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you answer. The drinks are sitting on the bartop, and you gesture toward them. “I’ve got something to do, so take those for me, okay?”

Confusion is etched on his brow. “Okay…?” He strategically picks up the three glasses and heads for the other room with the pool table.

Your attention moves to the man behind the bar. “Hey, can I get some ice in a rag?”

“Sure thing,” he replies, going to the block and using the ice pick.

Joel didn’t return to you. Instead, he went back to his table like the last however many minutes didn’t happen, and it makes you sigh.

His mixed signals have you so confused you’re ready to just get it all out in the open.

The bartender hands you some ice wrapped in a towel, and you walk over to Joel, having to drag the seat across from his around so you’re next to him, seeing his right hand shaking around his glass with bloodied knuckles.

He won’t even look at you.

“Give me your hand,” you order him.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. Give me your fucking hand.”

“No.”

“Stop being a stubborn asshole, and let me ice your fucking knuckles.”

“I said I’m fine.”

He won’t give you his hand, so you do the next best thing and press the ice against them while they hold his drink, Joel hissing at the coldness.

His head turns to glare at you.

“Don’t give me that look.” You glare right back. “I’m helping you.”

“I don’t need your help,” he practically spits out.

Taking a deep breath, you ready yourself for what you’re going to say.

“We had a nice dinner,” you tell him.

His eyebrows furrow.

“What?”

“We had a nice dinner with just the two of us where we talked—you didn’t smile, but it was the most you’ve ever said to me, and this morning, you let me eat with you. You’re not a people person, and I wasn’t sure if you liked me all that much, but our meals today made me think you might. Then tonight you were glaring at me—”

“When was I glarin’ at you?” he interrupts.

“Before that creep started getting handsy.”

“Oh, I wasn’t lookin’ at you…” His eyes dart away.

You’re confused.

“There’s like no one here. Who were you looking at?”

He sighs loudly. “Your boyfriend,” he mumbles.

“Huh?”

“Your boyfriend—the guy you’re here with.”

“Oh, Mathias? I’m not his type, and he’s already in a relationship. I don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, or a partner—I’m not seeing anyone. You should know this.”

“Oh.”

“Okay, so you weren’t glaring at me, you were glaring at my non-existent boyfriend, and then you came in hot like some knight in shining armor and beat the shit out of that asshole for doing me wrong. Sooo, you maybe like me?”

He looked at you with a squinted gaze, like the answer was obvious.

“I more than maybe like you,” he replies.

That has your eyes widening.

“Wait, in the romantic or platonic sense?”

“There’s no point in talkin’ about this,” he sighs, looking down at the amber liquid in his cup.

“Um, yes, there is because if I have a shot at breaking off a piece of this Kit Kat bar, I’d like to take it.”

His gaze met yours, and you could see the hope swirling in the dark pools.

“In the, uh, romantic or platonic sense?”

Smiling, you answer, “Romantic—I’ve basically been crushing on you since I met you. We’ve known each other for months, almost a year. You’re such a good father to Ellie, a hard worker around town, and you let some random person sit with you during your meals—”

It takes your breath away when he smiles softly and talks when you pause, “You’re not some random person, and I would’ve been stupid to turn away such a beautiful woman.”

“Oh, god, you’re hot and charming.” He chuckles, and your heart picks up in pace. “How are you making me like you more?”

“I don’t know, Blue.”

“Blue?”

“As in Bluebonnet.”

Which was Texas’ state flower and makes you feel so soft at how sweet the nickname is.

“I love it.”

The smile falls from his face.

“You, uh, don’t mind my age?” He scratches at his mustache.

Ellie had made you very aware of how old Joel was.

“No? I think you’re extremely attractive. Does the age difference bother you?”

“No.” He shakes his head.

“What now?” you ask.

“Jesus, it’s been so fuckin’ long,” he says, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I guess I’ll court you—take you on a proper date.”

“Second option, that’s more immediate, and we can go with your plan tomorrow.”

He looks at you.

“Yeah?”

“Is Ellie home tonight?”

His eyebrows dip together.

“Yeah?”

Smirking, you say, “Okay, so why don’t we go back to my place, and I properly thank you for what you did tonight.”

You see his throat bob as he swallows, his voice going deeper when he asks, “How do you wanna thank me?”

A smile pulls up on your lips, moving forward to whisper in his good ear, “I was thinking I’d suck your dick.” His breath stutters. “Then have you fuck me however you want.” That makes him groan, and you grin.

His hand moves out from under the ice and up to cradle your face, along with the other, when his body turns, making you look him in the eyes.

“I was stupid for leavin’ you alone ‘cause I assumed you wouldn’t want anythin’ to do with someone as old as me.”

You snort. “Uh, yeah. You went a little hard with the leaving me alone, but I’ll forgive you if you kiss me right now.”

No other words are said. His mouth crushes against yours, swallowing your surprised sound as he kisses you hard. Your fingers end up tangling in his grey waves of hair, your heart hammering in your chest and pulsing at the apex of your thighs. It’s obvious he hasn’t kissed in a while, and you’re in the same boat, both of you figuring things out until there’s a rhythm, and things are heating up with a slip of your tongue into his mouth to slide along his. The need inside you builds and builds until your lungs start to ache for oxygen, and you break apart, his nose nuzzling yours as you both pant with a smile on your lips.

“Let’s go,” he says, and you don’t have to be told twice.

He washed his hands before you left the bar, so it wasn’t obvious he’d just been in a fight.

Having Joel lead you through town is like having a big, scary dog on a leash with how people get out of his way. It’s a little surprising he even knows where you live when you find yourself walking through your front gate.

“How—”

“Ellie,” he answers before you even ask the question, his feet stomping up the two porch steps and you following. “She’s free to hang out with whoever and go wherever. I just ask she tells me where she’ll be.”

“That’s very ‘cool dad’ of you.”

You’re standing at the front door, him out of your way.

“She’s not allowed to leave Jackson without me. If I tell her to stay away from someone, she stays away from them. I expect her to be a model citizen and do the jobs she’s required to do. Unless we talked beforehand, she must be home in time for breakfast and dinner.”

“So, today, you knew it’d just be the two of us?”

“She asked last night to stay at Cat’s house.” That’s Ellie’s best friend. “They’re staying over at our place tonight.”

“Probably won’t even notice you’re missing then,” you say with a smile. The door’s unlocked, and you push it open before turning to grab Joel by the collar, pulling him in for a kiss as he walks you backward into the house with his arms wrapping around your back.

It’s a tangle of tongues, a clash of teeth, one of Joel’s hands moving to massage your breast while your fingers worked open the buttons on his shirt, him shrugging it off by the time you make it to your bedroom door you led him to. Once inside, he strips you first, spending quite a bit of time licking and sucking on your tits when they’re bared and stopping you when you try to work open his pants, learning he’s really fucking strong when he easily tosses you onto the middle of the bed.

Quickly, you’re sitting up on your knees, and you get a good look at the sizable bulge at the front of his jeans; Joel standing there with his hands on his hips, staring at your body with a hungry gaze, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip. Scars are littering the golden expanse of skin on his front and arms of varying sizes, a newer one you spot on his lower torso, all of them telling you he’s fought like hell to make it to this point.

Shuffling forward, you’re tired of waiting, your hands going to the button on the front of his pants. Joel’s palm engulfs yours to stop you, his head tilting down to meet your confused eyes.

“You don’t need to suck my dick for what I did,” he says.

“Okay. What if I just want to suck your dick for the hell of it?”

His lips tip up in a crooked smile, and you’re enjoying seeing his different smiles.

“Then have at it, but I wanna lick your pussy until you come on my tongue.”

You suck in a breath, your cunt clenching hard around nothing.

“If you can get me off with your mouth, you’re not gonna be able to get rid of me.”

His eyebrow arches. “Is that so?”

“Yeah. You’ll be stuck with me.”

There’d been enough talking, so you deftly popped open the button and pulled down the zipper, grabbing the waistband to tug his jeans down his thighs. You’re pleasantly surprised he goes commando, and then you get a good look at his hard cock, and it’s glorious.

He’s thick, long, with a nice curve upwards, and you’re wondering if you’ll be able to fit him in your mouth—you’re definitely up for the challenge, licking your lips at the thought. Your fingers don’t even wrap all the way around him when you take him in hand, giving him a few quick strokes.

“Wait,” he says, stopping your movements.

“What?” you ask, looking up at him.

“Hold on,” is all he replies, getting his pants the rest of the way down, kicking them off, and removing his socks. Walking around the side of your queen size bed, you’re turning in place to follow his movements as he gets on the mattress with a groan and the springs squeaking as he moves to the middle, his legs on either side of you, grabbing one of your pillows to put under his head that he lifts to look at you. “Sit on my face.” It’s an order, and he pats his chest to show you he means it.

“I thought I was giving you a blow job…?” You point at his dick resting against his stomach.

“You are,” he replies. “We’re doin’ both. Now, get up here,” he orders again, his face grumpy, patting his chest once more.

“Sheesh,” you say, moving over his leg and up the bed, thankful you showered before you went out. “You’re really bossy when you’re horny.”

When you’re within reach, he replies, “I’ll show you fuckin’ bossy,” and he puts his strength to work again, grunting while hauling you onto him with your back to his head and legs along his sides. His hand lands on the side of your ass in a sharp slap that makes you gasp, feeling the wetness between your legs, coating your inner thighs. “I’m eatin’ this pretty fuckin’ pussy,” he says, positioning you over his face, his hand giving your asscheek another hard spank causing you to clench. “And you’re gonna wrap that gorgeous fuckin’ mouth around my cock.”

You can’t respond because all train of thought leaves your brain when his mouth latches onto your cunt, feeling him groan into your sensitive skin, the sensations making your toes curl, and fire erupt in your center.

“Oh my god, Joel,” you moan. “It’s so good. It’s so fucking good.”

It takes a deep breath for you to focus on your task, spitting on your hand before grasping his hard dick in your palm, the tip red and shiny with his arousal, lowering your face to take him into your mouth. He’s salty on your tongue, your jaw open as wide as it will go as you hollow your cheeks and bob your head, stroking the considerable amount that won’t fit.

His hands have a firm grip on your hips, pulling you farther down on his face, and you’re really worried he’s going to suffocate while he eats you out like a man starving. Pleasure in winding in your belly, tighter and tighter, with how he’s licking at your folds, your eyes rolling back in your head when he sucks your sensitive little clit between his lips.

He’s really going to make you come, and it feels so fucking good you’re having a hard time sucking his cock, so lost in what he’s doing to you—saliva is dripping out of your mouth and down his shaft, making your hand slide easily along him while you have half a mind to suckle on the head of him.

You hit your breaking point suddenly, the coil inside you snapping, your body tensing up as you come with a loud moan, euphoria spreading out from your core. Joel groans into your cunt, his tongue pushing inside your sopping entrance to taste your release straight from the source, his hands grabbing handfuls of your ass and squeezing hard.

He must get his fill because he moves you off his face, hearing him take a deep breath.

“My good fuckin’ girl,” he says through panted breaths, rubbing your hips, his words causing a shiver to move down your spine. “Am I stuck with you?”

You’d given up on blowing him, your forehead resting against his thigh.

“Yeah,” you slur, sounding drunk. “How are you single?” It’s been a while since you’ve had that good of an orgasm.

He sighs and taps your hip. “Turn around, baby.”

Doing your best to turn, Joel helps you, getting you to straddle over his lower torso, your hands finding their place on his warm, flushed chest, seeing the grey hairs of his beard shining with your arousal and his lips frowning.

“Like you said earlier,” he says. “I’m not a people person.”

Your eyebrows knit together.

“I’m people…”

“No, you’re not. You’re my Texas Bluebonnet—my Blue.” His large palm comes up to stroke your cheek.

You’re wondering something. “Why did you talk to me at dinner?”

A sheepish look comes over his face. “‘Cause we were alone, and I didn’t have to worry about Ellie teasin’ me in front of you about my crush.”

“She knows?”

He grimaces. “Suspects. Since there’s only three people on this godforsaken planet I like, and you’re one of them.”

“And I’m the only one who’s not family—oh, that’s obvious.”

“Yeah…”

“Well, how do you want me?”

He looks confused. “Huh?”

“I said you can fuck me however you want,” you answer, sliding your hands up his pecs. “How do you want me, babe?”

When he smiles this time, you get a glimpse of his teeth. “Ride me.”

His answer has you grinning. “Cowgirl, like a true Texan.”

“I just love your tits,” he says, his big hands palming them.

“Good to know,” you reply with a wink.

Sitting up on your knees, you scoot back to get over his hips. His dick is still wet with your spit when you grab it and slide it through your folds before positioning him at your entrance.

There are nerves swirling in your belly, your eyes landing on his dark ones as you slowly start to drop down, seeing his mouth fall open with a gasp, his hands grabbing onto your thighs. You knew there’d be a stretch, but he’s bordering on uncomfortable in how your walls have to expand for his size, feeling the slight burn. When you finally bottom out, you’re beyond full—you’ve never felt fuller, and it takes your breath away.

“Jesus Christ,” his words are said through his teeth, his eyes squeezed shut. “Don’t move.”

His hard cock is throbbing inside you.

“Been a while?”

“Yeah.”

“Same. You’re so fucking big I’m gonna be sore after this.”

His dick jerks as he groans, “Don’t say that.”

“Damn, you’re that close?” you ask, soothingly stroking your hands over his chest.

You watch as his eyes blink open, the grumpy expression you’re used to appearing on his face.

“Don’t make fun of me.” He slaps your ass. “I haven’t fucked in a long time, and now I’m inside the perfect pussy—you’d be strugglin’ too if you were me.”

“I’m not making fun of you, Joel.” You lean forward to cup his cheek, feeling prickling stubble under your palm. “I think it’s hot. Like, you have no idea how flattered I’d be if I made you come right away—talk about an ego boost.”

He doesn’t look convinced, his eyes narrowing.

“Are you just sayin’ that to make me feel better?”

“Nope.” To prove your point, you sit up, bracing yourself with your hands on his chest as you start circling your hips.

His mouth goes slack, his eyes widening, a choked noise pulling from his throat that makes you smirk. “Fuck,” he pants. There’s sweat beading on his forehead, his cheeks a rosy pink. “You fit me like a fuckin’ glove.”

You’re slowly building into an up-and-down motion, feeling every ridge and vein of his cock rubbing against spots you didn’t know existed, sparks of pleasure igniting in your center as you throw your head back.

He must get a hold of himself because both of his hands come down on each of your asscheeks in loud, resounding smacks before he’s gripping them to help you move.

Looking down at him, there’s concentration on his brow.

“Your tight little pussy is takin’ me so fuckin’ well,” he says, hearing the wet sounds where you’re joined. “You love how I stretch you open?”

“Yes,” you moan.

You’re moving a little faster, moving up, and falling down a little harder, making the fire in your belly get hotter and hotter.

“Lean down.”

Doing as he says, your hands are on either side of his head while he continues helping you ride him. He lifts his face to pull a pebbled nipple between his lips, and the pleasure shoots straight to your pussy, making you gasp and more arousal spill around his length.

He laves at one bud, then the other as you work yourself up, the new angle allowing the coarse hairs at the base of his cock to rub deliciously against your clit, and you know you’re close.

Joel is groaning loudly, clearly in heaven, with his dick inside you and his mouth on your tits.

“You gonna come for me, baby?” he says around your hard nipple. “You gonna let me feel you squeeze my dick? Let me fuckin’ have it. Be a good fuckin’ girl and give it to me.”

It’s all too much, everything coming to a head as you fall over the edge with a cry of his name, clenching so hard around him, you’ve stopped moving with his cock buried to the root, pleasure radiating through your body.

Joel’s breathing hard under you, and you don’t sound any better while you come down from your high.

His arms suddenly hug you close to him, and you squeak in surprise when he flips you onto your back with his dick still inside you and his hips nestled in the cradle of your thighs. Lips find yours in a searing kiss, moaning as you taste yourself, welcoming his tongue when it slips into your mouth to tangle with your own.

He starts moving to chase his high, his thrusts hard and fast.

The bedsprings are squeaking loudly, the headboard banging into the wall, hearing the wet suck of your pussy taking his cock and your muffled moans paired with his muffled groans. There’s no mistaking what’s happening in this bedroom, and you just hope your neighbors don’t complain in the morning.

Your fingers have threaded into his hair, your bodies sweaty, his lips leave yours, opening your eyes to see his face screwed up like he’s in pain.

“Where do you want it?” he grits out.

If he’s asking, then he knows the risk.

“Inside.”

He opens his eyes wide. “Are you sure?”

It is a rare thing to want these days.

“Yes.”

His pace speeds up, grunting as he pistons into you, resting his head in the crook of your neck, feeling his hot breaths.

“You can fuckin’ have it,” he grunts. “Fuck you full of me—milk me fuckin’ dry. Fuck, you’re perfect.”

You know he’s close when his thrusts get jerky, then he’s pushing in hard one last time with a guttural groan, feeling the hot spurts of his come filling you, his hips continuing to roll until they finally come to a complete stop. It’s obvious he’s wrung out with how he practically collapses on top of you, but you welcome the weight, pushing your fingers into his hair and scratching at his scalp, which receives appreciative hums.

Minutes pass that neither of you speaks.

“‘M sorry,” the words are murmured into your neck.

“For what?” you softly ask.

“Makin’ you think I didn’t like you.”

“It’s kinda my fault, too. I mean, I am aware you don’t like people but you’ve eaten two meals a day with me for almost a year, so obviously you must like me somewhat.”

His head comes up with his eyebrows furrowed and his lips frowning.

“I like you more than somewhat.”

You smile. His hair is a mess, and you go about combing your fingers through it as you say, “Yes, I know that now. You like me.”

“I do.”

“And I like you.”

“Good.”

“I said you’re stuck with me, so can this be more than a one-time thing?”

His eyes squint in that same way where he thinks something is obvious.

“What?" he says. "I’m not lettin’ you go anywhere. You’re mine—my Blue.”

“Good. ‘Cause you’re mine, too.”

He kisses you passionately, and you lose yourself in it for a second until a thought has your eyes flying open and you pushing his face away.

“What?” he asks, bewildered.

“How are you going to tell Ellie?”

“Shit. Uh, we can sit her down tomorrow night—”

“No, this is a conversation you need to have with her alone.”

He winces. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow night after dinner...”

Is Joel Miller your boyfriend?

He absolutely hates you giving him that label, grumbling he prefers partner, but yes, he is your boyfriend.

Did Joel sneak out of your house in the early morning hours to his own so Ellie wouldn’t know he was gone all night?

Also, yes.

It’s the morning after, and you’re trying to act normal, ignoring how nervous you feel and the soreness between your legs as you sit down in your usual spot in front of Joel with your plate of breakfast. He’s changed into clean clothes and looks like he hasn’t slept, sipping on one of the two cups of shitty coffee in front of him, Ellie next to him already digging into some oatmeal with her spoon, which makes you realize—

“Ah, fuck,” you say, both of them looking at you. “I forgot to grab a fork.”

“I’ll get you one, baby,” Joel says as he sets his coffee down and starts to get up.

The three of you go completely still. Your eyes are wide, Joel’s close in regret, his cheeks turning pink, and Ellie looks like she’s going to explode with excitement until—

“You guys FUCKED!” she shouts.

People around the mess hall turn to stare.

“Ellie,” Joel hisses, his head whipping toward her.

“Sorry, sorry,” she says in a quieter voice, the rest of the room returning to eating. “I knew it! It’s about fucking time! So when are you getting married?” She’s looking between the two of you. “You know, I’ve always wanted a mom! And a brother! I’ll settle for a sister, though. Is she moving in with us, Joel?” She’s staring at him expectantly with a grin.

Joel’s face is bright red. “I’m gettin’ the fuckin’ fork,” he grumbles as he gets up from his seat.

Masterlist

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#pedro pascal #joel miller #joel miller/reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #wheresarizona writes

1K notes · View notes

hockeyboysimagines · 6 months

Text

F*ck me like I’m famous

Warnings: phone sex, implied sex, alcohol, swearing, fluff, Vince being a sad boy.

Sorry this has taken so long. I struggled through the phone sex part, so if it sucks. Please be nice to me. Thanks to @cellythefloshie and @jostyriggslover96 for talking me through it.

Enjoy, let me know what you think🤍

J:How’s Canada?

V:Oh you know, Canada is Canadian.

J:Not having fun?

V:I am. But I miss you a little. Not a lot though.

She giggled a little, biting her lip, before she answered.

Vince had left for Canada the week after their official first date. They’d spent every night together until he went home, leaving Josie here in St. Louis. It had been pretty sad, and Josie realized how much she liked him now that he was gone. The days had drug on, and they’d been making it work on the phone, talking when they were able, and nightly FaceTime calls. It was pretty unfortunate though if she was being honest. The most pivotal time in a relationship where you really get to know someone was being done through a phone screen. It had been tough to start, but smooth sailing for the past week. She would be heading to Ontario on Saturday afternoon and staying till the following Sunday. She was excited to see him but also nervous.

J:You miss me, or you miss my lady parts? Cuz she misses you too.

V:Jesus Christ.

J:Your gonna need him when I get to Lindsey next week.

V:🤣🤣🤣no I think that’s you.

J:Oh yeah?

V:Oh yeah. You should start praying now so you can get used to being on your knees.

Josie choked on her water and her whole body shivered.

After having sex everyday for the last two weeks or so, going without it for two weeks sucked. They’d exchanged some flirty banter but this was escalating. The more time Josie spent with him, the more things she learned about herself. And this was a new thing.

J:I’ll get on that right after I get off of you.

V:Just come now. I’ll pay to change your plane ticket.

J:No can do. I still have to finish packing.

V:So what are you doing? Besides tormenting me.

J:Just organizing my underwear drawer for my trip. What’s your favorite color?

She followed it up immediately with-

J:Nevermind. I think I’ll just go without them for the week.

And then her phone buzzed and Vince’s face appeared on the screen.

She answered on the third ring, shaking with laughter.

“Hello?”

“Are you fucking kidding me???” He whispered angrily on the other end of the phone.

“Vince hi!” She said cheerily “What brings you to call me so late in the evening?”

“What brings-you know what.” He was quiet and let out a long breath. Josie felt almost bad.

Almost.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

“No I am not. And it’s your fault.”

“Me?!” She giggled “What did I do?”

“You know what you did.” He mumbled.

She could just imagine him sitting hunched over, arms crossed, pouting so she decided to help him out a little. She bit her lip and took a deep breath.

“You know.” She said softly “I’m not wearing any underwear.”

He was very quiet on the end of the phone but she could hear some movement before he spoke “Really?”

“Mhmmmmmmm.” She wasn’t actually wearing any underwear, just a large T-shirt she’d acquired from his room over the course of the last two weeks. She let a hand trail up her leg “I’m thinking about you.”

“What about me?”

“About how much I miss you. How I can’t wait to see you…how I can’t wait for you to fuck me.” She felt a redness come to her cheeks. Vince brought out a whole new side to her she didn’t even know existed and she was appalled at herself right now. She had never even thought about having phone sex before and yet here she was.

It may have also had something to do with the four glasses of wine she’d consumed but if anything, this conversation was sobering her up at an alarming rate.

He coughed on the other end “And how would you like me to do that?”

“Uhm how about everywhere? How many rooms are in your house?”

“Nine.” He answered a little too quickly “And a pool.”

“A pool? Now we’re talking.” She said lowly with a small giggle.

“FaceTime me.” he said softly “I wanna see you.”

“Uh uh. This is more fun. Are you thinking about me?”

Her voice was sweet on the other end of the phone and she had him so keyed up he was thankful he was alone “I’m always thinking about you.” He responded. It was true. He woke up with her on his mind and went to bed with her on his mind. But she was clouding other parts of his body now besides his brain.

“Do you miss me?” She asked.

“Yes.”

“How much? Cuz I miss you a whole lot.” Josie let her hand slide between her legs and let out a little gasp “She misses you too. She’s been so lonely since you’ve been gone, with no one to take care of her.”

Vince chuckled nervously on the other end of the phone “And what is she going to do about that?”

Josie rubbed her fingers over herself and squirmed a little “She’s so wet. I have no choice but to take care of her myself.”

She heard the distinct sound of a belt unbuckling and Vince adjusting himself in whatever he was sitting in and he cleared his throat “Tell me about it.” He sounded almost a little nervous and she wondered for a second if this was a first for him too, but now wasn’t the time to ask. She felt some confidence exuding now because for once she felt like they were on an even playing field in terms of sexual experience. Most often she felt like he had the upper hand, but today things felt even.

“When I get there next week she’s going to need all your attention.”

She heard his breath hitch on the other end of the phone “You know she’s gonna have it.” He murmured.

“I hope so. Because she’s been so empty, with no one to take care of her.” Her fingers felt good as the moved inside of her and while this whole thing was totally hot, it would have been better if he was here. But this was the best she was going to get.

“Are you touching yourself thinking of me?” She asked sweetly.

“Mhm. I wish it was you though.” His breath was heavy on the other end of the phone and it made Josie hot just thinking about it “Fuck.” He swore on the other end. His voice was ragged like his breathing and Josie too had reached her limit.

“Are you going to cum for me?” She whispered, fingers moving faster inside of her. She definitely was, but she was holding out until he did as well, just like when they had the real thing.

“Yes I-Jesus fuck.” He he ground out from the other end of the phone.

Josie closed her eyes, head falling back “Vince I-“ but the words died as they came out of her mouth. It wasn’t a mind blowing orgasm like she’d become accustomed to, but it was enough to get the job done. It did however bring her down to earth when she realized if things didn’t work with Vince, she might not find another person she had that connection with. But that thought went out the window when she heard him breathing heavily on the other end of the phone.

He was quiet for a few moments before he cleared his throat “Did you-uh-“

“Yes. Did you?” She waited with baited breath for a second before he answered.

“Yeah.” Then he laughed a little “First time for everything I guess.”

She breathed a long sigh of relief and then laughed a little herself “Glad I could pop your phone sex cherry.”

“Can we FaceTime now. I wanna see your face.”

She but her lip “Sure.”

The phone started to ring and Josie took a deep breath before she answered. Vince was a little flushed and disheveled on the other side of it, but he smiled when she answered. She looked down at her lap shyly before she looked back up at him.

“You.” He said brushing a strand of hair from his forehead “Are a very bad girl.”

“Only for you.” She winked and rolled to her side, propping the phone up on her nightstand so she could fold laundry and talk with him at the same time.

“So are you all packed?” He asked, eyes peering at her through the screen. She got lost in them for a second, although the camera didn’t do them justice, and then nodded.

“Half packed.” She turned the phone to show him her open suitcase “It’ll be here before you know it.”

“Yeah.” He said frowning a little with a small sigh.

“I’ll see you in a week okay?” She smiled reassuringly at him through the screen and he nodded.

“Yeah. I’ll pick you up from the airport?” He seemed troubled, eyebrows furrowed.

She nodded and gave him a tight smile, settling into her bed “Just wish you could come earlier is all.”

He actually missed her. Not just the sex part, if that was all it was he wouldn’t be flying her out to Canada for a week knowing his mom would be around. He could find someone at home for sex.

“Cheer up lover. It’s only 5 days. Then you have me for a whole week. That’s a lot of time for activities.” She wiggled her eyebrows and he laughed.

“Yeah you’re right. Next week is going to be exhausting. In more ways than one.”

She giggled and smiled at him “Anything for Lord Stanley. And you too of course.”

They chatted for a few more minutes, as she reminded him of her flight times before they said good night and hung up the phone.

He sighed and set his phone down on the table and leaned back in his seat, arms folded. Josie had turned him inside out and he had no idea how she’d even done it. He’d never really been opposed to have a girlfriend, but he’d also never really wanted one either.

And amidst all that here he was, flying a girl across the country and FaceTiming her goodnight.

Which is why he found himself sitting on his mom’s sofa a short while later.

“So mom. There’s something I wanna talk to you about.”

She froze in her seat across from him “Oh boy. I don’t like where this is heading.” She set down her cup and turned to him eyebrows raised.

“No it’s nothing bad. Just something…good I guess. Well it is good I just-“

“Vince.” She said smiling “What’s going on?”

“So next week on my day with the cup, I’m gonna have a friend from St.Louis fly in and she-“

“SHE?!” His mom said eyes lighting up “She! A girl?”

He rolled his eyes “Yes mom a girl. Anyways she-“

“A girlfriend or a ‘girlfriend’?” She asked air quoting.

“A gir-.” He frowned “Actually to be honest I have no idea. A girl…friend.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what that means, but tell me about her. What’s her name? What’s she like? How did you meet?”

He was definitely going to have to think something up for that last one because he couldn’t tell him mom that he’d taken her home an hour after he met her and then spent every night with her since then. She would yell at him for not being a gentleman but he also didn’t want that to impact the way she saw Josie either. He knew she was great, and he wanted her to think the same.

He couldn’t tell that to his mom.

“Her name is Josie. She’s great, I think you’ll really like her. And I met her out one day.”

She knew he was lying but she didn’t call him on it. He’d never asked but he was sure his mom had seen the photo of them that ended up online, and if she hadn’t he wasn’t going to start admitting to things now. Though he was an adult, technically, he went out of his way to keep his extra curricular activities private from everyone, but especially his mom. He suspected she knew about a lot of it, but it definitely wasn’t something they talked about.

“That’s it? That’s all you’re giving me?”

“I’ll let her tell you the rest. I don’t want to give away everything before she gets here.”

“Well you must really like her if you’re bringing her all the way here. This is a big week for you.”

He shrugged but she shook her head “No no. Don’t shrug at me. You don’t have to admit it, but I know that you wouldn’t fly her here if you didn’t like her…a lot.” She added at the end “But it’s your business. Either way. Looking forward to meeting her.”

***********

Josie usually slept flights away, but she was too amped to sleep. In just a few short hours she’d be seeing the guy she’d not known just over a months ago, but now she couldn’t imagine not knowing.

It was a little scary if she was being honest. Not Vince himself but everything that came with him. The recognition, the sport, the being a citizen of a whole other country.

Which was actually the scariest part to her.

What if Canadian Vince didn’t like her as much as St. Louis Vince did. What if when she got there he realized he’d rather have a girl from back home celebrating with him.

Was there a girl from back home?

She felt silly but the longer she sat on the plane the more she realized she was stepping into a place she’d never been, with people she didn’t know, to celebrate a trophy for a sport she’d never watched.

Given the opportunity she would have parachuted out of the plane but she didn’t think the pilot would be too understanding about her nerves. Though if he knew who she was flying out to see, he might.

The plane was fairly empty, and she had no seat mates on either side, which left her to anxiously bounce her knee without disturbing anyone.

There was too much cloud cover for her to really see anything. Canada would be a complete surprise and for a few minutes her excitement overrode her anxiety.

That was until the plane hit the runway and she felt like she was going to puke. The flight attendant glanced at her and did a double take, holding out a bag.

“Ma’am your green. Are you gonna throw up?” She leaned back a little bit.

“What? No I’m okay. Just…I’m okay.”

“Right…well maybe you should take this anyway.” She pushed the bag forward again and Josie took it.

“Have a good time!” The attendant called “Don’t throw up!” She said pointing at her.

Josie laughed and exited the plane, locating the baggage claim and grabbing her suitcase, when she felt her phone ding.

V: Let me know when your at the doors. I’m parked outside

She started typing to respond as she exited the doors and got a face full of sunlight, blinding her from seeing two feet in front of her.

J:I’m outside. Marco!

“Polo.” She heard from behind her.

She turned and standing some feet away, was Vince leaning against a black BMW, smiling at her. He was just as beautiful as she remembered, and as he had been the first time she’d ever seen him. His smiled widened as she made her way to him. It seemed like it took ages to reach him, her heart beating just a little bit faster with each step. As she came within a foot of him, she dropped her suitcase and he pulled her into a very hot, wet, long kiss right there in the airport parking lot. She wasn’t sure what to expect if she was being honest. In St. Louis everyone had already seen them making out on the news, but this was his home field and she wasn’t sure if he wanted to be kissing her so openly in public.

When he pulled away she was looking at him surprised.

“What?”

“Nothing, just didn’t know if you wanted people to see us making out in the airport parking lot.”

He chuckled and grabbed her stuff “I’m a Stanley cup champion I can do what I want.” He said opening the trunk and putting her bag inside. She felt a little lurch in her stomach as he slid past her to open the passenger door, hand sliding across her lower abdomen as he guided her into it and then shut the door. He’d had his hands on every part of her body and a little touch on the wait was doing her in. She took a deep breath trying to will away the redness that came to her face as he made his way around the car and slid in. She couldn’t believe how nervous she was. But then he turned and smiled at her and she remembered they’d already done a plethora of sexual things in various places and she relaxed a little bit.

“Ready?” He asked brightly, starting the car and turning to her.

“I think so. Unless you’re sick of me already.”

“Sick of you? Never.” He backed out of his spot and left the parking area of the airport. As he drove she saw the buildings start to fade away little by little and they were replaced by some of the most beautiful scenery she’d ever seen.

“So this is Canada?” He glanced over to find Josie peering out of the window smiling a little “The view sure beats down town St. Louis.”

He smiled a little bit and shrugged “Yeah maybe. But Canada doesn’t have you so I guess that makes it even.”

Josie rolled her eyes and blushed “That was so cheesy.”

“I couldn’t help it. It’s true though.” She looked so good after not seeing her for a week. She always looked good, but he realized now how much he actually liked her. And he was pretty sure she felt the same considering that she’d flown all this way to see him for only a week.

“On a scale of 1 to 10 how likely am I to see a Moose?” She asked still leaned forward.

“Probably pretty likely, but I should warn you to not try and pet them. Not the friendliest. And actually just don’t pet any of the wild animals you come across. There’s not many friendly things running around the forests in Canada.”

“I guess I can only find friendly things from Canada on Ice then.”

“Ha ha.” He said with a smile and watched her, watch the outside.

“It’s beautiful here.” she commented glancing at him “I have no clue where I am, but it’s beautiful nonetheless.” The trees were so thick Josie couldn’t even see through them as they made their way down the road. She hadn’t seen a car since they left the airport.

“It is.” He was quiet for a minute before he spoke again “So….is it okay if I kill you?”

Josie turned slowly to look at him for a full 10 seconds before she burst out laughing “Sure. Just make sure I still look good for the open casket if you wouldn’t mind.”

“Okay deal.” He reached a hand over to rest it on her leg “It’s really nice to have you here.”

“It’s nice to be here. I like getting to see where you come from.” She sounded genuine, and she smiled at him, resting her hand on top of his “Thanks for bringing me on my first Canadian adventure.”

“Hopefully with any luck it won’t be your last. Just stay away from the Moose.”

**********

Josie could see now that Vince was just as popular here as he was in Missouri as she followed him along through the place there meeting his friends and family. She hadn’t even had a chance to unpack her stuff, which was still in his trunk, but she was excited to meet them and get it over with. He didn’t know it, and she wouldn’t tell him but her nerves were a live wire.

He made her nervous that first night but that was nothing compared to this.

“Come here.” He grabbed her hand and tugged her forward behind him through the crowd.

“Mom. This is Josie, Josie this is my mom.” Vince’s mom was smiling at her and waved away her outstretched hand and hugged her instead “It’s nice to meet you, I wish I could say I’ve heard so much about you but Vince only just told me you were coming yesterday and won’t give me any details.” She smiled cheekily at him and then looked back at her.

Josie looked at him for guidance. She wasn’t about to tell his mom that they’d met in a bar and he’d taken her home and had sex half the night.

“We met out one night after the cup.” He said smiling at her “Schwartzy spilled a drink on her.”

“Mr. Stanley Cup Champion over here swooped in like Batman and saved the day.” She gave him a nudge “My hero.”

“I do what I can.” He said with a shrug, but smiled and wrapped an arm around her waist.

The rest of the day went great. She was a bit all around. His friends and family kept pulling him aside to tell him how great she was, which he knew of course. He watched her as she interacted with friends of his, when he felt his mom at his shoulder.

“She’s lovely.” His mom said as she looked at Josie talking with them, laughing like she’d known them for years “And so gorgeous.”

Vince nodded “She is right?”

“How did you meet her again?”

Vince bit his lip and looked at his mom who continued “Because I vaguely recall someone sending me a photo of you kissing some girl that wound up on the news. That would happen to be her would it?”

“Uhm.” He glanced at Josie and then his mom and gave her his best smile, one he usually used to get himself out of trouble “That’s actually from when I met her.”

His smiled faded a little when his mom looked at him flatly. That smile never worked with her “Uh huh. Well maybe next time just think about who you’re kissing after you win a major trophy and remember, the internet is forever.” Then she smiled “You seem happy.”

He nodded “I am. She’s great, and I really like being around her.”

“I would hope so. You flew her all the way out here. You don’t fly someone you don’t like into another country.”

He shrugged “I do. But…I don’t know just seeing what happens I guess.”

“Hmmmm.” She pursed her lips and smiled glancing at him.

“Knock it off.” He said bumping his mom’s shoulder.

“I’m just saying. You seem different with her is all. None of my business.” She pinched his side and wandered away giving him a long pointed look as she did. He squeezed through people saying hello as he did, and found her sliding her glass to the bartender.

“You’re popular.” He said into her ear, one hand reaching forward to grip hers. She smiled at him and felt redness come to her cheeks, both from the wine and from him holding her hand in front of his family.

“Just like back home. I’m sorry you’re so lame and no one wants to talk with you.” She made a pouty lip at him and squeezed his hand. He rolled his eyes, smile widening.

She looked so good in Canada, in a bar with his family and friends, her white dress bright against her tan skin.

“Let’s get out of here. You have two weeks worth of phone sex and dirty texting to make good on.” He waggled his eyebrows at her. They said their goodbyes and much to her delight, he never let go of her hand, and they made their way into his car, driving mostly in silence, and then into his house. It was dark and late, and the sounds of the night could be heard from everywhere as he unlocked his front door and she stepped past him and inside. She heard him shut the door and lock it and a ripple of excitement started to creep through her, sending an electric current into every nerve in her body.

“So.” He said from behind her, causing her to turn. He was half illuminated, half in shadow as he dropped her bag by the door “Which room do you wanna start in?”

She grinned and took a step back “Catch me and find out.”

380 notes · View notes

sebscore · 1 year

Text

FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL | SEBASTIAN V. & LEWIS H.

pairings: lewis hamilton x fem!reader / sebastian vettel x fem!reader (with a lovely cameo from Markus Webber)

warnings: swearing. implied infidelity.

time stamp: june 21, 2021

author's note: this is an INTRODUCTORY chapter so certain things won't make sense now, but they will make sense later, luvies !! anyway- im so excited about this revamp and i hope old gentle hit readers will like it as well <3

masterlist

• • • • • • •

''I don't know what you're doing out here, there aren't any courts around.''

Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me.

Y/N glanced up from her phone, being met with the smiling face of Sebastian- a sight she had been able to ignore the ongoing weekend.

''The courts don't need me today.'' Her words came out more passive aggressive than she had meant to, but the German driver's sudden appearance caught her off guard. ''Don't you think I should be asking you what you're doing here? I'm afraid you're in the wrong garage.'' She plastered a fake smile on her face, something Sebastian noticed in an instant.

''Yeah, I, uh, wanted to talk to Lewis.'' He explained, leaning his arm on the wall.

The Frenchwoman looked to where her partner was standing, deep in conversation with Bono and Angela. ''He's a little busy right now.''

''It seems so,'' he didn't glance over Lewis, his eyes staying on her, ''it's been a while since I've seen you.'' Sebastian stated, resting his head against his arm.

Y/N nodded. ''Yeah, that's true. My schedule hasn't been working out too well with all the races this year.'' Her tennis tournaments and Lewis' races had been coinciding rather too much in her opinion. She felt guilty that she couldn't be there to support her boyfriend as much as he had been there for her.

''That's too bad, but you've been doing really well this year.'' He told her, unconsciously admitting that he had been keeping tabs on her season.

The tennis player raised her eyebrow, a little surprised at the unexpected compliment. ''Well, I appreciate that,'' she thanked him, ''although, I hope you're not stalking me.'' Despite the sarcastic tone in her voice, there was a truth to her words.

''I've always been a fan, you know that.'' The Aston Martin driver retorted.

Y/N let out a sigh. ''You're not here to see Lewis, are you, Sebastian?'' He got goosebumps as his name left her lips, lots of time had passed since the last time that happened.

''The word was going around that you were here, wanted to see it with my own eyes.'' Sebastian revealed his real reason for his appearance at the Mercedes garage.

The woman in front of him had an unimpressed look on her face. ''That's the kinda gossip everyone discusses here? It really gets more boring with each year that goes by.'' If her attendance was the biggest topic of the day, she didn't have very high hopes for the other ''gossips'' that went around the paddock.

''I mean- you've always been the talk of the town here, haven't you?'' The comment made her cringe, a hard time controlling her facial expressions. ''And normally you make these grand entrances so people weren't too sure whether you were actually here or not.''

''I'm here for Lewis.'' Y/N stated, a bigger meaning behind her words than seemed on the surface.

Sebastian let out a weird mix between a scoff and a chuckle, momentarily glimpsing at the ground. ''I don't doubt that you're here for Lewis, Y/N.''

He lied, he did doubt it. Many events had transpired between the pair for him to doubt her intentions and support for his longtime rival and eventually turned friend. Or in other words, Sebastian was convinced he had every right to raise his suspicions over Y/N and Lewis' relationship.

''Can we not do this now?'' She didn't have the energy or interest to engage in a conversation with Sebastian about the obvious elephant in the room.

The German had an answer ready, but was interrupted by a curious Brit approaching them. ''Hey, Seb! How are you, man?'' Lewis greeted him, holding out his fist.

Sebastian quickly dropped the agitated expression on his face, wearing a soft smile instead. ''I'm good, and you?''

''Yeah, I'm good- feeling ready for today.'' Lewis was blissfully unaware of the tension in the air, happily grinning while putting an arm around his girlfriend's waist. ''Good conditions, I think it's going to be a nice race.''

''I think so too, looked really good out there.'' The younger man confirmed his words, glancing in-between the couple.

Lewis nodded to what he was saying. ''Where are you starting again?'' The Mercedes driver asked, forgetting where his friend had ended up in qualifying.

''Oh, P12.'' Sebastian quickly answered.

''Well, I know you're gonna do great, man.'' Lewis had felt bad for the man, going from a top team to one that could barely make it into Q2. However, he knew Seb and that he would extract everything he could from his car.

An appreciative smile appeared on the driver's face. ''Thank you, Lewis.''

''So, uh, what were you guys talking about?''

How his ''friend'' is here to see me and not you.

A small panic flashed through Sebastian's eyes as he looked at Y/N who seemed more calm about her boyfriend's curiosity. ''Apparently, my attendance today has been the talk of the paddock so far.'' She chuckled, her eyes on Lewis.

The 7x World Champion giggled at her answer, squeezing her hip. ''Really? That sounds like my girl.''

Sebastian observed the way they were wrapped up in each other, an ugly feeling resting in his stomach. He hated how natural it looked for them, how easy it was for them to show affection. Above all, Sebastian secretly despised the way she had her eyes set on her partner. She looked enthralled by Lewis as if he was the only person in the world at that moment.

He despised it, because that is how the woman's eyes used to stare at him.

The best word to describe Sebastian and Y/N's history was complicated, and even that term didn't do their relationship justice.

They first met in 2008 at the Italian Grand Prix where Sebastian took his first ever Formula 1 race win. She had been invited by his French teammate to the Toro Rosso garage, ultimately bumping into the 21 year-old German.

It didn't take them too long to become close friends; they share a birth year, both are incredibly passionate about their sport and the two of them have a special talent in pushing other people's buttons in a charming way.

It almost seemed like a cheesy rom com where the two protagonists meet and despite their different careers, they fall in love and live happily ever after.

However, there is a huge emphasis on the word 'almost', because in a traditional rom com the male protagonist doesn't have a long term girlfriend who he swore he was going to marry someday. In an ideal world, that's where their story should have ended.

But this isn't an ideal world.

''He's here for you,'' she pointed from Sebastian to Lewis, ''so I'll leave you two.'' Sebastian wanted to protest, suggesting to leave himself, but she was already making her way to Tiffany who was standing on the opposite side of the garage.

Sebastian's eyes followed her steps, swiftly turning his head once Lewis started speaking. ''What's up, man?''

''Nothing, I just, uh, wanted to, uh,'' the German figured he should have come up with at least a probable excuse to talk to Lewis before coming to the Mercedes camp, ''there's, uh, this new project I'm working on and I would love to talk to you about it, but maybe we can do it another time, I think we, uh, have to get ready.'' He rambled on, simply wanting to go back to his own team.

''Yeah, that's alright. I can't wait to hear what you've been developing!'' The Brit knew that whatever his friend had been planning, would be a great success and he felt touched that Seb wanted to share his ideas with him.

Sebastian put up a happy facade to hide his discomfort, ''Thanks,'' guilt crept up on him at the sight of Lewis' genuine excitement over the mere talk about something he had been working on, ''I have to go now, but I'll see you out on track.''

They shared a small hug, patting each other on the back. ''Yeah, good luck, man.'' They bid each other goodbye, each resuming their own pre-race routine.

Y/N has subtly observed the conversation between the two world champions, trying hard not to show her satisfaction at the visible nerves on Sebastian's face and the awkwardness in his behaviour.

''By the way, I really like your outfit today. It looks great on you.'' Tiffany complimented her, shifting the athlete's focus from Lewis to the Australian cyclist. ''Thank you, I absolutely love your dress! Black really suits you.'' Y/N returned the favour, scanning the woman's dress.

''Thank you so much, I wasn't too sure about-''

''Sorry, Tiff! Can I borrow her for a second?'' Lewis interrupted her, his arms instinctively finding their way around her.

Tiffany pretended to be offended, but excused them. ''I'll go find my own man.'' She winked, walking over to where Valtteri was getting ready for the race.

''Seb said that he wanted to talk about some project he had been working on, and I was thinking that maybe we could go and have drinks with him later tonight? Maybe invite Val and Tiffany as well? I don't know, what do you think?''

Y/N took in his words, pretending to deeply think about it while already knowing she would not let that happen. ''A project? Did he say what it is about?'' She asked him, attempting to stretch the time she had to think about how she could politely tell Lewis she did not want to get drinks with the Aston Martin driver.

''He didn't tell me, he said he would tell me after the race.'' Her partner answered, a slight pout on his face.

Probably something about his bees.

The younger woman nodded, a bit confused on why Sebastian wouldn't just tell Lewis. ''That's, uh, too bad.'' She noted.

''So what do you think? You think it's a good idea?'' Lewis asked once again, looking her in the eyes, wanting her validation that it was a great suggestion.

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. ''Yeah, it's been a while since we've done something with Val and Tiff alone.'' She realised she had to consider Lewis' feelings and if he wanted to get drinks with his friend, he should be able to, even if she didn't like it.

''I'll suggest it to him when we're done here today,'' he pulled her closer, kissing her temple, ''I have to get ready now. I love you, darling.'' A peck on the lips and Lewis approached Angela who was keeping hold of his gear.

The race itself wasn't that eventful beside a podium for Lewis. She proudly watched him with the rest of the Mercedes team as he stood on the second top step, sending him a wink and a flying kiss.

Afterwards, they met up with each other in his driver's room. ''Mon chéri!'' Y/N embraced him, a strong hold on him. ''I know it's not the result you were hoping for, but I'm proud of you either way.'' She cupped his cheeks, hating the disappointment in his eyes.

''Thank you, love.'' Lewis gave her a quick peck, knowing she isn't a fan of his sweaty form after his races. ''I still have the debrief with the team, but after that we can go and have those drinks.''

''Have you, uh, invited them yet?'' She referred to Sebastian, Valtteri and Tiffany.

He shook his head. ''No, but I'm gonna ask Val now and I'll ask Seb afterwards.''

''That's great.'' She said through gritted teeth. Y/N had a small hope that Lewis had been able to ask Sebastian already, and that the German had cancelled or had come up with a believable excuse as to not having to go.

Lewis pointed to his changing area. ''I'm gonna get out of this and then I'm on my way, darling.'' His champagne covered racing suit started to give him claustrophobia.

''Okay,'' she smiled at him, ''you know what? I'm going to take a little walk around the paddock, cause I saw Mark earlier and I didn't have the chance to say hi.'' Y/N used to be a Red Bull athlete for almost ten years, making her an old regular of the Red Bull Racing garage. That's also the place where she became great friends with the Australian driver.

''That's lovely, I'll text you as soon as I'm done, alright?'' Lewis grinned, delighted to hear she wasn't just going to sit and wait around for him. ''Say hi to Mark from me, darling.'' He winked before disappearing and changing into his Mercedes team wear.

Y/N swiftly freshened herself up, Lewis and his champagne-smelling sweat still lingering on her body. She grabbed her vintage handbag and was out of the hospitality.

She definitely underestimated how hard it would be to find Mark Webber in a Formula One paddock. Normally, he was quite easy to find or maybe he was always at the right places at the right time.

The Frenchwoman grabbed her phone from her bag and searched for the Australian's contact, not planning to look like an idiot while searching for him.

He didn't make her wait for too long, picking up the call after two rings. ''Hello, you cunt.'' Mark warmly greeted, a teasing tone present in his voice.

''Where the fuck are you? I've been trying to find you for like the past 10 minutes, did you turn into a ghost or something?''

''Oh, you would love for me to haunt you, don't you, Y/N?'' She could hear the smirk on his face.

Y/N almost snorted at his answer. She would have given him a witty comeback if it wasn't for the German man suddenly blocking her way. ''Uh, Markus, I'll call you right back.''

''Why?''

''There's a hazard in front of me and I don't know how long it's gonna take before it's fixed.'' She answered with an attitude, looking Sebastian right in the eye.

The ''hazard'' let out a scoff, her straightforwardness seemed to have grown even more over the years. However, he was impressed by the accuracy of his new nickname.

Mark chuckled on the other side. ''Alright- well, I'm by the paddock club with David so I'll wait here for you, mate.'' He said his goodbye, seemingly understanding that she was being held up by someone she wasn’t a huge fan of.

Y/N hung up the phone, placing it in her bag again. She wanted nothing more than to cross her arms and roll her eyes at the man in front of her, but they were in public and she was painfully aware of the eyes on them.

''I'm only smiling, cause that guy over there has his camera on us and I don't want to go through that again.'' The athlete warned Sebastian, not wanting him to think she was genuinely glad to see him.

The urge to roll his own eyes had never been bigger. ''I'm really happy to see you too, Miss Y/L.''

''I really don't have time for this,'' she sighed, ''what can I tell you that's going to make you leave me alone?'' Her bluntness didn't surprise him, she had never been the one to beat around the bush.

''I just saw you walking by and thought I might join you, you looked a bit lonely.'' He explained himself, his eyes focusing on hers.

She momentarily frowned, quickly fixing her micro-expressions. ''We both know that's not a good idea, Sebastian.'' His name rolled off her lips with ease.

''Why's that?'' He played dumb, he was aware why it wasn't a good idea.

''You really want to go that route?'' She sarcastically chuckled, a taunting smile on her face. ''Okay. Because us talking to each other like this will bring everything up again and I don't want to open those old wounds again, and I don't think you want that either.'' Y/N spoke calmly, but there was a fire behind her words.

The driver scratched his voice. ''Y/N, people are much more interested in your relationship with Lewis than they are in anything that has to do with me.'' A lot of time had passed, and Sebastian wanted to be able to talk to his old ''friend'' without being scared of what other people thought of it.

She was disappointed by his response. ''You really don't get it, do you?'' The athlete shook her head. ''Like I said earlier, I don't have time for this. Now, if you will excuse me- I have somewhere to be.''

Y/N moved past him, remembered something. ''Oh, and if Lewis asks you to get drinks with us, you say no. Have a nice evening, Vettel.''

Just as in the Mercedes garage, Sebastian watched her leave- not minding that he looked like a lost puppy whose owner left them alone at home.

''Too bad that Seb couldn't go.'' Lewis said, his eyes on the road and his right hand on her thigh.

Y/N nodded to his words. ''Yeah… did he, uh, explain what his project was?'' She too had been curious about what the German had been working on.

''Yeah, yeah! He's, uh, gonna do this t-shirt project to spread awareness about certain topics. For example, LGBTQ+, women in motorsport and all that stuff.'' Lewis summarised, echoing what his friend had explained to him.

His girlfriend continued her nodding along. ''That's very interesting.''

''I know. I love how Seb is coming out of his shell these days- like since last year, he's been really stepping up and taking a stance against injustices. He would have never done this 10-12 years ago when he was with Red Bull.'' The Mercedes driver had always admired Sebastian, but ever since he took the knee with him the previous year in regards to the Black Lives Matter movement, Lewis had found a new level of appreciation for his rival.

''That's really great, Lu. You seem very happy about it.'' No matter how complicated her and Sebastian's relationship was, she was relieved her partner had someone to stand beside him in the matters that he cared about.

Lewis smiled at her words. ''I really am, darling.''

Upon seeing the genuine thankfulness on his face, guilt spread through her body. Y/N had never explained the true nature of her history with Sebastian to her significant other. Of course there were rumours about it back in the day that Lewis was aware of, but to him they seemed obviously overdramatised.

She was keen on keeping everything that happened between her and Sebastian in his Red Bull days, in the past- Lewis didn't need to know about it. That was about the only thing both her and the German could agree on at the moment.

The vibration of her phone barged in on her clouded mind.

| UNKNOWN NUMBER I didn't mean to be insensitive earlier, I'm sorry. Good luck at Wimbledon, I know you'll do well! Love from Sebastian.

Y/N had blocked and deleted his phone number years ago, but the 4x World Champion always appeared to always find a way back to her.

''You're good over there?'' Lewis noticed her instant silence, quite uncharacteristic for her.

Her head shot towards him. ''Yeah, sorry- something about Wimbledon.'' She mumbled, unsure of what to tell him.

''Make sure you're there until the second week so I can come and see you play.'' He smirked, taking a glance at her reaction.

She rolled her eyes at him, making him giggle. ''Great, now I actually have motivation to make it to the second week, not the fact that I have a title to defend.'' Y/N sarcastically thanked him.

The tennis player had won the tournament three years in a row now, the 2020 edition being cancelled due to the covid pandemic. There was a lot of pressure on her to win the championship again, being one of the top players.

''I know you're gonna win.'' Lewis stated, matter-of-factly.

Y/N sighed. ''Don't say that, you know unpredictable these tournaments are, especially on grass.'' She appreciated her partner's confidence in her, but her own over-confidence had bitten her in the ass a few times in the past.

''I'm sorry, darling. You know you're my number one, you're always the winner to me.'' He squeezed her thigh, caressing it right after.

The side of her head rested against her chair, an appreciative look in her eyes. ''Merci, mon cher.'' She gave him a slow wink, one that her boyfriend imitated. ''You're welcome, love.''

''It doesn't happen that often that I replace Serena as number one, you know? So I'm gonna enjoy this moment.'' She teased, resulting in a pinch to her side from Lewis.

''Don't you dare tell her, she'll kill me.''

''I'm definitely telling her.''

''Yeah, I know.''

taglist :: @dannyramirezwife @luligirl_ @mistrose23 @azxulaa @develised @princesselle2111 @topguncultleader @poppyalice2001 @komorebi21

#sebastian vettel x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #f1 x reader #f1 fics #f1 fic #formula 1 fic #f1 x oc #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton x y/n #sebastian vettel x y/n #sebastian vettel x you #f1 x you #f1 imagine #lewis hamilton #sebastian vettel

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nuzipilled · 1 month

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I adore the Pacific Rim/Murder Drones Au! :o I wonder if its fine to ask questions.

Who was N's partner that he lost?

Are J and V possibly as well pilots for jaeger's?

OMG @limeinaltime we got fanz

i’m still parsing together the lore™️ but i imagine that in this au the worker drones were built originally to help assemble the jeagers, and then repurposed as pilots as the kaiju threat and human losses grew. the setback was the mechanics of the jeagers were too much for the worker drone’s little bodies, so they needed to be modified to accommodate that—hence disassembly drones. Tessa was the daughter of the ceo at JcJenson who were the original manufacturers of the workers and also a rookie pilot at the time, so it made sense that her drones would be the prototypes. Their AI originally proved to be ineffective when drifting with another drone and so they needed a human counterpart to drift with while the company worked out the kinks in their programming.

it just so happened that because she was so close with with them all and generally just an openhearted, good person she was sort of considered the MacGyver of the jaeger program and was virtually drift compatible with all of them. she would take turns drifting with them in their respective jeagers and training them until their AI was developed enough to be compatible with each other. then i think that N was paired off with V while Tessa stuck with J.

An incident happened shortly afterwards that ended up getting Tessa killed and N was so traumatized by the experience that him and V started to have issues with their drift and he eventually was retired as her partner, with J taking her place. J taunts N about this relentlessly. N was delegated the responsibility of training rookie drones, still in their worker bodies in preparation of their modification so that they can become pilots too and effectively make humans obsolete and therefore safer.

As time goes on, and the threat continues to grow, the company has no choice but to recommission N, but since the incident his terror of stepping back into a jeager hasn’t faded. It is virtually impossible to find somebody that’s compatible.

he ends up taking a liking to Uzi, a spunky, rebellious rookie, whose parents just so happened to also be pilots during the experimental days where jcjenson was still using worker drones as stand ins for humans. Khan also lost his partner, Nori and is very much opposed to the idea of Uzi following in their footsteps because of it. Uzi however is practically foaming at the mouth to get into a mech and eventually, despite her not being modified, N warily to take her to the launch bay for a joyride and finds out to Uzi’s joy and N’s horror that they are drift compatible.

I have more to say on this, but I’m actually driving right now and using voice to text I got so excited to answer this and was afraid that if I let it sit, I’d forget my autistic ponderings. Long story short, to answer your question via incredibly winded ramblings, yes, V and J are also pilots, Tessa was N’s original partner, Then got rotated to V, watched Tessa die And it all went downhill from there. Thank you for the ask, anon!

#kistch answers #kitsch rambles #pacific rim au #murder drones #nuzi

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the--rebel--fae · 2 months

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Hey Fae! Do you know about the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? If not, basically they are biblical concept for rooted evil in humanity and first four of seven seals for the “end of the evil world” or whatever (conquest, war, famine, and death).

Anyways, to my request! I wanted to ask to see if you’d write a paring of a FourHorseman!reader with Vox from Hazbin Hotel (and any other characters from that show if you’d like to lol)

Thank you and Gl with ur other requests!

A/N This is probably gonna happen each time I post a request since I feel horrible for making all of y'all wait. So! Big sorrys for taking so long with this but tysm for your patience! Now! On to the main a/n: Oh my friend, you have triggered an idea that is genius! Ooh this reminds me of that one episode from Charmed.--if you know which one, you totally rock. I had so much fun with this! I hope you like it too! 😊

Pairing: Vox x Strife! Four Horsemen! Reader

TW: Just swears, but that's about it.

Word Count: 814

His Little Chaos Bringer

The brick wall felt like a cool and relaxing solace as you leaned against it. Your pencil scratching furiously away in your notebook. Today had a been quite the productive day.

Though, you could have done without Blitzø's hissy fit for nearly missing the portal entry back to hell. He was complaining how you nearly cost him big time as he took you back into your main domain of the pride ring.

“You're lucky you're so damn powerful and make our jobs easier, you twerp.” He grumbled at you as he practically shoved you out of the I.M.P. van.

An amused chuckle made it passed your lips as you closed your notebook with a satisfying snap. You couldn't help that you were on a roll today with causing so many humans strife. You were the epitome of it after all being one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Your other three siblings were Lucifer knows where and you didn't really give a damn as long as they were keeping their stats up and making sure the plan stayed on track.

Your notebook was already bursting with your successes, an impressive list of names and ways you affect them filled its yellow time worn pages. And that was only today.

Looking around at stretch of land that was the V's part of Pentagram City you let out a tired sigh. You loved what you did, you really do. But after a long day of causing misery, all you wanted to do was collapse in a comfy chair and just relax as you listened to your boyfriend boast about his day.

The brief silence that filled the air in the little alleyway you were taking a break in was quickly broken by the sound of your ringtone: The Flight of the Valkyries–little on the nose but you were always a fan of the classics.

You glanced at the caller ID and grinned. “Well, ask and ye shall receive I guess.” Clicking answer, you couldn't keep the smile out of your voice. “It's like you just knew I needed to talk to you. Should I add telepathy to the list of your talents?”

A deep chuckle. “Well hello to you too Doll. Rough day I take it?”

You leaned your head back against the wall and felt the satisfying thump of cool brick against the back of your head. “Not hard, just very long. Apparently causing misery for a living can drain someone a lot.”

“Why don't you come back home to the tower and I'll see what I can do to help get some pep back in your step hmm?”

A smirk played at your lips. You definitely didn't miss the innuendo in that sentence. “Sounds perfect actually. I'll be there in five.”

A pleased hum could be heard on the other line. “Looking forward to it Doll. See you soon.”

“See you soon, Vox.” The call ended seconds after.

Pushing forward you felt your muscles stretch out in relief. A spark of excitement and contentment ran through you. Sometimes it paid to be the romantic partner of one of the strongest overlords and a tech genius like Vox. No matter how busy the two of you were, you were always able to make time for each other at the end of the day.

***

As the elevator door to Vox's penthouse suit swished open, a tired smile was brought to your lips at the sight before you. In front of the blue satin couch, on the table laid a beautiful–and frankly absolutely mouth watering dinner with two champagne flutes filled with wine.

“I take it you like the surprise?”

You let out a pleased hum and walk forward. "What do you think?" Wrapping your arms around Vox's neck, you lightly bumped your forehead against the top of his screen. An amused giggle passed your lips as you watch Vox's screen take on a light rosy hue around where his cheeks are supposed to be.

"Well, I'm glad you like it, my little chaos bringer." Vox gave you a soft peck on the lips. His kisses always left you with a tingling feeling--probably thanks to the fact that he is a literal tv, but you couldn't help but want more. Maybe at a later time, the night was still young after all.

"You know exactly how to make a gal feel special don't ya?"

Vox pulled away from your grasp and gave a wink. "Doll, you're special no matter what."

You couldn't help the snort that passed your lips. "Wow, cheesy much?"

Vox just waved you off. "What? I was just trying to be romantic!"

A fond smile pulls at your lips. You were probably one of the most powerful beings in Hell seeing who you were, but if this was the life you got to come back to everyday? It's all worth it.

A/N that was so much fun to write. I truly enjoyed this request! Feel free to request again! I hope you enjoyed it!

And if you guys want even more stories--like maybe your own personalized several-page long one-shots or even a multi-chap fic take a look at my Etsy Shop! I do commissions! I even have listings for Hazbin Hotel!

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littlebitsmile · 3 months

Text

in flames [C.L.] | Chapter V

This is it, finally. With this chapter, we kick off the 2024 season and Emma takes part in her first official F1 race in Bahrain. I'm really excited about going forward with this, hopefully you are too.

Enjoy this chapter, breathe it in, feel it in your heart xx

story: in flames driver: Charles Leclerc [C.L.] trope: #haterstolovers summary: Always working three times as hard as everyone else, Emma does not intend to blow her chance of driving among the best of the best in her very first season in Formula 1. Concentrating on first and foremost getting ahead of her brother, she does not even notice that there are some people even in her own team who think she does not deserve this spot and would rather see her fail. And one driver in particular seems to have a need of always reminding her of that.

────ʚ C H A P T E R V ɞ────

"How exactly does this work here?" I ask, while two screens of light shine directly into my face and three or four cameras are pointed at me. A makeup artist is just powdering the last of the anxious sweat on my forehead dry, and a young man is sitting opposite me with a script in his hand. Probably the same one that was sent to me two weeks ago.

"You introduce yourself with your name, which team you drive for, and then I'll ask you a few questions. Easy cheesy lemon squeezy," he replies without looking up from his script.

I can't deny that I'm afraid of messing something up. I still regularly attend the social media training sessions run by Aston Martin's PR department, but Netflix's Drive to Survive team is probably in a whole different league. At least most of the drivers have already warned me about it.

Someone shouts "30 seconds," and suddenly the room empties. The lights are still blinding, and apart from the camera lenses and three-quarters of the interviewer's face, I can't really see much. Just a dark room, almost as if I were the suspect in a murder case and was being questioned - creepy.

I'm handed a film flap with my name, my team, and "Take 1" written on it. I hold it up in front of me and wait for the interviewer's hand signal.

"Hi!" I wave at the camera. "My name is Emma Verstappen, I'm turning 21 this year, and I'm driving for Aston Martin as a rookie in my first Formula 1 season."

"Cut!" A little bit of shuffling around echoes through the room. "That's great, Emma. You're doing good!"

"Thanks, I'm trying my best. Do you need that again or...?" My voice goes up half an octave towards the end of the sentence, unintentionally.

"Ah, no, thanks! But you can answer a question for me directly! How does it feel to sit in this chair?"

"Honestly, like I've been accused." I laugh nervously into the camera. A montage of the last six seasons of the show plays in my mind's eye - almost as if my brain is warning me not to say the wrong thing or get emotional.

"Don't worry, the jury found not guilty. For now, at least." A brief pause as he flicks through his question pad and finally stops at a page. "Emma, when you think about the coming year, what do you feel?"

"You're not the first to ask me that, what do you think my answer will be?" I raise my eyebrows. After his interview, Max gave me the advice to be as detached as possible. Don't stir up drama. Don't take shots at other drivers. Then I take two breaths and continue: "This is a huge year, not only for me, but also for my team. Aston Martin has made a huge bet by putting me in one of their cockpits. But I have no intention of making them regret it."

"Completely understandable! Do you feel comfortable in your team? It was actually very surprising that you didn't end up with your brother's team, Oracle Red Bull Racing! Would you like to tell us briefly how that came about?"

"Well, you probably all know Max, and you don't know me, but let me tell you, even though I love him and he's my brother... we would need some more time to get acquainted with the feeling of being stuck in a team together. Our mom could tell you that as well - everywhere Max and I are involved, there is trouble to follow." I answer honestly. What I don't say is that Max didn't speak to me for a week and a half after I turned down Red Bull's offer to be a test driver for this season. That I had to explain to him almost every hour why the match with Fernando Alonso works better for me at the moment and that later, after I've proven myself, we can drive together until we're old and gray.

"Emma? Are you still there?" The interviewer waves his hand vigorously in front of my face. I apologize and ask him to repeat the question.

"As you know, some contracts are coming to an end this year, and that's why there are a few places with big teams that have been in high demand for years. With Lewis moving from Mercedes to Ferrari and some contracts expiring, for example, Sergio Perez at Red Bull - are you speculating on one of them?"

I have to think for a moment, do some soul-searching. Do I even want to join a big team? Is "Formula 1 World Champion" at the top of my list of dreams? Then I answer: "As a driver, every week you're fighting for your seat, especially this season. It's no longer about where I stand in the world rankings, but rather about the potential I bring with me. I am convinced that I will find my way - regardless of my brother, Red Bull, or anyone else. Where this path will ultimately take me... I don't think anyone really knows."

"Two more laps, Emma," Sarah orders over the team radio. She still doesn't speak much, but at least the radio communication works well. Will I ever have as much fun with her as I did with Enzo? Probably not.

"Copy."

I say copy, but what I really mean is I hate you. Forty-five laps under the desert sun of Bahrain, drops of sweat evaporating in my racesuit and making the fabric stick to my skin. I've been trying to suppress my thirst for half an eternity. At least the heat is now my only problem. During the first few test laps, I had to mentally remind myself several times that throwing up in a new car doesn't make a good impression - especially not on the official first day of work. That moment when you're standing at the end of the pit lane waiting to get the final go. In the first corners while hitting the brakes for the first time, my head got put back against the headrest, body compressed. It felt like my heart was going to give up at any moment.

Pre-season testing is the first chance to see if what my team spent the whole year designing is actually going to work. So far, the car feels great - a few comments here and there about oversteer, the right braking behavior, and the optimal line, but at least I'm not a total failure. At least, I hope I'm not.

Fernando has already completed laps in the three-digit range yesterday and this morning combined. I happen to be put in the same test window as Max. I didn't think long about whether this was perhaps intentional, so that we could compare ourselves better, but after the first few laps, the thought crept into my head and wouldn't let go.

As I return to the pit lane faster than expected and the engineering team pushes the car and me back into the garage, I realize that I'm still holding my breath. I take off the steering wheel, release the headrest, and squeeze out of the tight seat. A few mechanics murmur "Good job!" or pat me on the back, but no one says a word. I exhale. Then I look at the car again. Standing right in front of it while the green of the bodywork hits me - an indescribable feeling.

"You know I'm your biggest critic, but that was a good performance today. We can work with that," says Sarah as she comes to a halt next to me and compares graphs on her clipboard. She looks at me from the side, then glances at the car and back at me. "This is your car, you better believe it."

I laugh and nod. "Thank you, Sarah. I don't think that was such a bad practice. There's still plenty to do." As I start to speak, I take off my helmet, finally remove the hearing protection from my other ear, and walk towards my cabin in the back of the garage. Sarah is hot on my heels. "I feel like I have to turn the steering wheel a bit more on the right-hand bends... but maybe it's just because the right-hand bends are a bit faster than I originally thought. I don't feel the headwind as much as I did in the wind tunnel, you can really feel the aerodynamic adjustments on the sides straight away. Do you think I can do one or two laps, just running around the track tomorrow before the start of training? I feel like I don't have every corner completely under control yet and..."

"Emma," Sarah tries to interrupt me, but I keep talking. Unlike me, she is at a loss for words and never let me finish my thoughts during our first few weeks. But this is about our car, about the points, about moving forward and not standing still. I carry on talking impartially.

"...maybe I can have a quick word with Fernando tomorrow? I'd like the front end to be a little sharper, at the moment we still have a lot of leeway - only if it's okay with him."

"Emma."

"Hm?" Now I'm paying attention.

"You're in fifth place at the moment."

"Wow, I didn't think so. That's good news, isn't it?"

"Max is in P6," she says slowly, smiles and then leaves me standing alone in the corridor. My water bottle almost falls out of my hand. I turn around quickly and call after her.

"Hey! You can't just say something like that and then disappear," but she's already around the corner and isn't paying any more attention to me. Has she just smiled for the first time since I met her? And that makes me almost more nervous than the fact that I have beaten my brother for the first time.

I'm not that lucky over the next few days of pre-season testing. But the high from my first day of practice on the track carries me through the week like clouds, before we even get to the first three free practices. I stay in the top 10 during the practice sessions that are part of the race weekend, but I seem to have completely lost my groove in qualifying. Starting from 12th on the grid, neither I nor my team are particularly enthusiastic about my performance, and this contributes to the fact that I don't get much sleep the night before the actual race.

I also have to attend several photo shoots in between - not just from my own team but also the official ones. For the first time, I get placed in an all-male field of riders, which is why I am allowed to stand in the middle of the so-called "class of 2024"-picture this year. That is more than awkward for me, but in that respect I will probably have to get used to not being allowed to have a say. On this occasion, I also try to spend more time with my brother, firstly to get some first hand insider advice and secondly to get to know the people he gets on well with.

Carlos Sainz, who tried to persuade me at all costs to go and celebrate with the group before my first race - as a season opener – immediately melts my heart. When I thankfully declined, he laughed and told me not to worry so much - after all, the Verstappen gene is in me too. I didn't mention that I wasn't so sure about that. At the same time, I wish him all the luck in the world - after all, he is currently without a seat for 2025. Secretly, I hope that he achieves better results than Charles, but of course I'm not allowed to say that out loud.

I also have time for a game of paddle tennis with Max, Fernando, Lando Norris, and Daniel Ricciardo - none of them seem to care that I've never held a tennis racket in my life, let alone a paddle tennis racket. On the contrary, each of them patiently explains their way of playing to me, until at some point I'm sure that each of them has at least slipped me some false information so that I don't turn out to be a sudden natural talent.

Unfortunately, all these distractions have not helped to reduce the pressure. The pressure from my father, who follows every Instagram post with excitement and then asks me whether I can really afford to play paddle tennis with Max and whether he missed the fact that I already have a World Drivers' Champions title in my pocket, which would explain why I would think that some free time is something I am allowed to have. The pressure from my team, whose hopes are mainly pinned on Fernando, but a driver duo consists of two people and not everyone is convinced that this is the right place for me. So I continue to sleep uneasily.

Before the race starts, I march up and down in the garage with a pulse of just under 130. Outside, I see fans running past, taking their seats, while the structure of the course burns in a continuous loop in my mind. It feels like I remind myself every five minutes that I shouldn't pick at my fingernails and instead find my focus. Max wished me good luck as I left the hotel, and he meant it, but that's easy to say when you start from pole position and have literally nothing to loose.

I overhear Sarah being interviewed somewhere, but unfortunately, I can't quite make out who it is from the voice. The walls here are so thin that I can hear every little movement of the technicians on the car, so I'm not surprised that I overhear conversations that aren't really meant for my ears. Only the interviewer's question burns itself into my head: Do you think you put too much faith in someone who is still so young?

I immediately shake my head, grab my helmet and water bottle, and make my way to my car. There I high-five one or two mechanics and then squeeze into the seat of my car. The cable for the radio connection on my left shoulder is connected to the car, someone plugs in my steering wheel, and the crew slowly removes the heaters from the tires. I wrap my fingers around the steering wheel, squeeze harder, and then let go again. Sitting here feels right, just like the pedals under the soles of my feet and the muffled sounds that can’t quite reach my ears. I try to find my focus and go over the route again in my head. Too much faith in someone who is still so young. The colleague in front of my car gives me the signal to rev the engine and drive out of the garage. Then I'm pushed to the starting grid.

The next few minutes fly by. The impressions of the last few days, the ups and downs, the conversations with other drivers, but also the phone calls with my father and his criticism - everything is buzzing around in my head without having an outlet for it. My body is tense at every turn and I'm literally clutching the piece of metal between my hands. I keep counting to ten in my head and tell myself that everything will be fine, no matter where I end up today - at least that's what I try to tell myself.

The signal is given for the last call to leave the start area. I get some last looks before my team makes its way towards the pit lane.

"Let's go, Emma," says Sarah through the microphone. I nod, even though I'm aware that she can't see me. My brain empties completely during the warm-up lap. Quicker than I'd like, I'm back in my starting position and looking towards the traffic lights. I feel nothing, think nothing. This is the first race of the season and nothing has been won or lost yet. All the cards have been reshuffled and we can only really say how the cars will actually perform afterward. The first lights turn red. Red. Red. Red. Red. And then the lights go out, and my foot presses down on the gas pedal. This is the official start of the 2024 season.

────ʚ [Masterlist] [Chapter IV] [Chapter VI (in progress)] ɞ────

Tags: @cmleitora @alliwantisadonut

#f1 #f1 fanfic #formula 1 #charles leclerc #slow burn #f1 imagine #haters to lovers

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myobsessionsspace · 25 days

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Hi, I'm the anon who asked about the unconfirmed JiKook thoughts. You don't have to post this. I just wanted to tell you that yours was the best non-answer answer I've ever gotten. Thank you for putting together such a cute response. I agree with you. I'm horrible at the numbers and deep theories too, but it's fun to consider and you sounded like you wanted something fun to dig your teeth into for the heck of it. Also, I wanted to correct the link I put for the travel Vlog that reminds me of Closer Than This design theme. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TbIyRhvIBQ It was actually Jimin's Japan travel Vlog for his and JKs 1st Japan trip, not the 2019 vacation I had mentioned. Again thanks and take care.

Post anon is referring to

Hi Lovely!

Can I just say I love you?! I love people like you, you seem like good peoples.

I say this with all the excitement possible, DM me and let’s go crazy with the jikook theories 😜

Nah but for real, I saw Jimin’s vlog he did for their trip years ago and revisit it occasionally, it’s soo friggin cute!

Original Jimin Tokyo Vlog Tweet

I see what you’re saying about the style of it and how it reminded you of the ‘Closer Than This' MV

I totally see what you're saying anon! And to think in 2017 Jimin probably only had iMovie and a vision. Then end of 2023, with a billion won company, that him and his members helped build with resources and a team, we get a refined but still in essence Jimin MV!

Very much in line with the fun, not too serious but full of sentiment style Jimin likes, like his video to army:

⬆️Clip from end of Jimin’s BTS x ARMY video⬇️

Original Tweet

Look at how proud he was showing his work off to Tae & Jungkook

Clips from BTS Memories of 2019

It’s just another notch in the ‘you are me, I am you’ counter.

Jimin’s BTS x ARMY Video

[2019 FESTA] Euphoria (DJ Swivel Forever Mix) - JK Memories by BTS @ 1:31-1:43

Who wudda thunk that Jimin and JK both like art and editing?! They are literally like two halves of a whole 😩

One of Jungkook’s many art styles

Some of Jimin’s art & Some of Jungkook’s art

Jikook have, in my opinion and also maybe one of the ‘unconfirmed Jikook thoughts’, been talking to each other back and forth through songs, their cute edits, twitter and weverse posts FOR YEARS

Again it’s like, how does anyone diminish their tighter than tight bond?! They’re like me and my besties that can talk to each other on text, IG dms, snap, TikTok etc and be holding different trains of conversation on all of them AND STILL see each other or speak on the phone for hours like we’re not in constant communication on different platforms…and still have little things we didn’t know about what the other did that day or did last week. Why are we like this 😭

Fr though if you wanna DM me instead of chatting through asks feel free 😉

Thanks for the follow up

💜

#Jikook #Anonymous Asks

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hebuiltfive · 2 months

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Hi! Character ask game for TAG Scott! Any combo, or all - I'd really love to read your takes!🤗💙

My first impression of them

My least favorite ship of them

A weird headcanon

Future headcanon

When do you think they were being "themselves" the most?

So excited to answer this one! Putting it under a cut because it gets long!

First impression: Wow this guy is crazy, (from hanging off TB1)? Also remember distinctly thinking that, as the obvious head of the family, that this guys really knows what he's doing. I was proved wrong in subsequent episodes. Sorry Scoot! But I really liked Scott from the off!

Least Favourite Ship: I don't really have one that I hate but if I had to pick one I dislike... I'd probably say Scott x Kayo only because I see Kayo as their sister in TAG so it feels a little weird to me to ship her with any of the boys. But that's just my personal opinion on it. There are some amazing Scayo fics out there!

Weird headcanon: I don't know whether this meant a weird headcanon in terms of weird for the character or whether it meant weird for me to have the headcanon, so I'm just going to give a headcanon that might be common but might just be me instead, if that's okay (and if that made any sense?

Okay. To me, I see Scott as actually very musical. Obviously he's nowhere near as proficient as Virgil who is the musician of the family, but Scott can hold a decent tune. In addition to singing, he can also play a variety of instruments including the piano, the guitar, the harmonica, the French horn, the drums.

I think this one is a little influenced by the TOS universe — in one of the Theydon books, Scott plays the piano and there's a bit of background to that — so I kind of just expanded it for TAG Scott (and may be putting it into one of my WIPs... 👀).

But yeah. Hope that answers that one!

Future Headcanon: This is a much easier headcanon question, and it also happens to be one I'm currently writing into a WIP!

Once Jeff is home and everything is more stable, Scott settles down with Marion Van Arkle. She joins iR and they have three children together (who will follow in their footsteps when they're old enough) and Scott lives happily ever after. He deserves the happily ever after! (Although there are, of course, hiccups in the WIP, but that's unimportant here.) Happily ever after Scott! That's important!

Most themselves: Ooh. That's tough. I can think of a few.

Recharge, where he goes off in the Pod despite Virgil warning him against it and, oh look! Virgil was right all along? That sums Scott up I think.

Chain of Command, for most of the episode. Getting angry of not being able to help the people in need; going in for that second rescue regardless of the permission; and then, of course, questioning Janus's authority.

Chain Reaction, for when he saves Fuse even though Marion points out he's a criminal. Scott's line of "everyone is worth saving" is such a Tracy line, but I think it also sums Scott up. Likewise, in Brain v Brawn where he saves the Hood. Dude has a bigger heart than I would have in that situation.

I could go on, but this answer is already an essay in itself!

Thank you for this! It was fun to think about, and I hope I answered okay! 💙

#five answers #edutainer2022 #five rambles #thunder rambles

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echo-bleu · 6 months

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In Elrond v. the Valar, if Elrond is successfull in going against the Valar (which I hope he is), do you have any plans for Elrond then getting to see his sons, his parents and the Feanorians again? I obviously don't know all the things you plan on having Elrond challenge the Valar on, but I think it'd be great if he could get those imprisoned releasted, those doomed to horrid fates saved (cough Earendil) and travel between Aman and Middle Earth made possible so people can visit each other. Or hell, if Elrond manages to change things for the better in Aman, maybe the twins might come join him after all. But really, very excited for the idea of this fic, as I've been feeling very anti Valar lately.

Thank you for your ask! This actually gives me a great opportunity to dig deeper into my feelings on the Valar xD I'm going to put it under a cut because it got long.

The short answer is, I have no idea. I started this fic (I've rambled about it here) as a vent fic where Elrond gets to yell at the Valar, without really thinking about ever posting it. I was writing those towers we built and getting very angry at the Valar, and for some reason in the first months of my presence in the fandom I only saw very pro-Valar (or, at worst, "the Valar made a few mistakes but mean well, it's fine") takes. I'm fine with fics that go with that, but I think it's a point where my atheism butts heads with Tolkien's catholicism in a major way.

I really love fics where my favourite elves re-embody/sail and reunite in Aman in the Fourth Age and find ways to heal from their traumas, so naturally I wanted to write some (and also some angst such as those towers) but I found myself constantly stuck on what to do with the Valar. It's easy to just kind of ignore them when writing about LOTR events or even, to some extent, about First Age Beleriand. They're not there. They exist in a more material way than most gods but they're still remote, except for Morgoth and Sauron.

It's different in Aman. I went through a whole spectrum of questions/opinions such as "Aman is the Valar's domain and thus if the elves want to live there they have to play by their rules", but it just keeps falling apart whenever I think about it a little harder.

The sticking points for me are this: Númenor's Downfall, and "if thralldom it be, then you cannot escape it". The problem with the Valar, as a group, is that they are gods. They are both gods and rulers, and thus their rule is in the simplest sense of the word a tyranny. They are all-powerful. There is no recourse against them. They have no oversight (I'll get to Eru in a moment), no checks and balance, and they experience no consequence for their actions.

They have a prison system that you are put in by dying, so without trial, and are only released from if you are deemed to no longer be dangerous to society by some nebulous standards. There is also no recourse and no appeal, at least none within a recognizable system of law.

They claim all of Arda as their kingdom, but they abandon anyone who doesn't cater to them to whatever fate. They say the Noldor are free to leave Aman but completely shun them when they do, punishing them (the Doom) again without trial, and definitely not trial by peers. (Also even their way of "recompensing" people who do goodTM is dubious *cough* Eärendil *cough*).

And, even more crucially, they can decide to wipe out an entire people on a whim, again with no consequence.

Here we come to Eru, briefly: Eru is much easier to deal with for me because he is in nature remote. He is all-powerful but more in the way the laws of physics are all-powerful, if that makes any sense. He's not good or evil and he doesn't deal in the individual. See: Númenor (I tend to go with the headcanon that Eru didn't directly order the destruction of Númenor, but ultimately it doesn't matter, because it was the Valar who did it). That's also why he's not a useful oversight for the Valar: if the Valar decided to just wipe out all the elves, Eru would probably just make more elves and have them wake up at some other lake. And anyway, Manwë is the only one who can even communicate with Eru, so the Children can't exactly send complaints.

So we have a tyranny. Or at minimum, we have some kind of oppressive/unfair government, at its root (whatever the result is on the surface). How do we change that?

In real life, a fair government is one where the people in power switch regularly, and only the system remains (preferably with separation of powers and fair laws). It's subject to constant change. Even an absolute monarchy, the king dies eventually and, in theory, can also be overthrown. But a world ruled by gods? They are immortal and unchanging. There is no way to overthrow them. They literally have all the power.

This is where I get stuck in Elrond v. the Valar, and to some extent in those towers as well. It can't end in a revolution. The elves cannot do anything to change their situation that isn't the will of the Valar. The only change that can possibly happen, is for them to somehow convince the Valar to see their side, and/or sow enough dissention among the Valar that they no longer agree with each other.

So that's where I'm going, more or less. There is no fully happy ending there. Elrond will have to make his point, pray hope for meaningful change, without ever being able to trust it, because I don't think there's any way he can trust the Valar again after Númenor.

(It is, in the end, very much like real-life. We can only hope that the people who have power over us will hold themselves to the standards that they promised, and they generally don't. Even when there are recourses, they only work so far. Which is probably why the Valar make me so angry – they are an excellent stand-in for all these powers in our lives that betray us again and again.)

I'm trying to spin a lot of it around the concept of self-determination, which is something that I believe the Valar do not understand. The only one of them who ever exercised it was... Melkor. I am not having thoughts about Melkor redemptions. The Valar are made to be exactly what they are, and they don't change, so they don't recognize the Children's right to make mistakes, to learn, and to choose their own path.

I think we can get to a place where the Valar might understand that they need to defer the making of laws and judgment and generally governance to the people themselves. But the changes would take a huge amount of time and more than one fight (far more than I can do in one fic, in any case). So, is there a happy ending for Elrond and his family? I don't know. Release for those in Mandos, for Eärendil (whose fate always breaks my heart)? A mostly peaceful, bittersweet ending? Maybe.

I also cannot guarantee that it doesn't include a long stay in Mandos for Elrond.

#silmarillion #tolkien #tolkien meta #elrond #valar #anti valar #sort of?#the ramblings got really long sorry #elrond vs the valar #echo's writing thoughts #silmarillion meta #maybe one day i will find a way to write fourth age stories without this getting in the way #but it is not this day

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brimarie0512 · 6 months

Text

Stray kids fanfic ot8 series part six

Slow burn

WC: 1.9k (1,967)

There are pov switches, female reader, use of y/n, nicknames

Warnings: Mentions of food

Summery: You’re finally going on your date with Felix. It is truly amazing and he’s so sweet just like his brownies.

(I’m so sorry this is so late I have like three paper due but next chapter is so amazing I might have to post it early to make up for it)

Chapter Six “Brownie Boy”

Y/n’s pov

I woke up before Chan today. I told Changbin I would go to the gym with him this morning. I don't work out too often but sometimes I just have the urge to. I knew Changbin loved the gym so I decided he would be the perfect person to ask to accompany me. I put my hair in a ponytail and threw on a pair of black leggings and a pink tank top and paired it with a light jacket. I went into the kitchen to make smoothies for Changbin and I to enjoy before we left. Changbin joined me in the kitchen soon after.

“Good morning, gorgeous.” He said as he approached me.

“Good morning, here I made this for you.” I said handing him the smoothie.

“Thank you, you're amazing.” He said, bringing me in for a hug.

When he hugged me it was like I was being suffocated but in the best way his muscles always engulfed my body in such a comfortable sensation. We drank our smoothies together in the kitchen while chatting and then went up to the gym which was conveniently in the building. When we got there I rode on the stationary bike for a bit while Changbin lifted weights. When I was done on the bike I went to work out on my arms. After that I did leg presses, then back to my arms. After that Changbin and I finished with some squats. Even though we were together we did different things working together but separately in a comforting silence minus the music we were sharing each of us wearing one airpod.

“Wow gorgeous I had no clue you liked fitness this much.” He said a little in shock and out of breath at the end of our set.

He looked cute. Flushed cheeks, bulging muscles. The way his hair slightly stuck to his forehead. The way his chest slowly rose and fell with each breath.

“I don't really, but I try to keep myself healthy and sometimes I just have the urge to workout.” I said while shrugging.

“Well if you ever want help or want to learn more let me know.” Changbin said with a smile on his face.

“Thank you Binnie.” I said giving him a hug even though we were both sweaty.

We went back to the dorm where the rest of the boys were.

“Good morning doll.” Chan said to me.

“Good morning.” I said back, going to give him a hug.

“Good morning sunshine, are you excited for tonight?” Felix said.

“Yes I am very excited, I can not wait.” I said, smiling brightly.

“Me too, well I will see you later, I have to go get some things ready for tonight.” He said giving me a hug.

“Can't wait Lixie, see you later tonight.”

I spent the rest of the day in the dorm with Chan until it was time to start getting ready for my date with Felix. I took a shower even though I had taken one after coming back from the gym. When I got out I put my hair in pigtail braids and got dressed. I picked out a pair of ripped black jeans and paired it with a blue long sleeve v-neck shirt since it's Felix’s favorite color according to Chan. I did my makeup going with a natural look and then I put on a pair of black high top converse.

“How are you feeling, doll?” Chan asked me.

“I am actually really excited, I can't wait to see what Felix has planned.”

“You’re going to love it, and Felix is going to love you, you look amazing” Chan said.

He came and stood behind me as I looked at myself in the mirror. He spun me around to look at him and wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me in for a tender kiss only breaking away when we had to come up for air. Just then there was a knock at his bedroom door.

“I assume that's your date doll, you should be the one to answer it.” He said letting go of me and stepping back.

I walked over to the door and opened it and it was Felix. He was wearing a pair of blue jeans and a black crewneck sweater with a white shirt peeking through under it he also had on a pair of black converse.

“Wow.” Felix said looking me up and down “You look stunning sunshine.”

“I could say the same about you.” I said, giving him a wide smile.

“Are you ready to go?” He asked, holding out his hand.

“Yes I am.” I said taking his hand and mine, allowing him to lead me out of the room.

“Have fun you two.” Chan said after us.

I turned back and gave Chan a warm smile as Felix led me towards the door to exit the dorm. We got to the car and he held the door open as I climbed in. He sat down next to me putting his arm around my shoulder. We stayed like this on the car ride, I could tell Felix was nervous.

“You know, I am really excited for tonight.” I said, trying to subtly calm his nerves.

“I am too. I hope you enjoy tonight.” He said, giving my shoulder a squeeze.

“I am sure I will love it and either way as long as I am with you I know I'll be happy, there is no reason to stress.” I said looking down feeling myself blush.

“Awe, sunshine that means a lot to me. This night will be perfect with you by my side.” He said, looking me in my eyes.

The car began to come to a stop. Felix got out first taking my hand as he led me out of the car. As I looked up I realized he took me to the movie theaters. He led me to the booth where he told the worker his name and then they led us to a theater. When we walked in it was empty and there was a table full of snacks and drinks. I looked over at Felix and he was looking nervous.

“Lix you did all of this for me?” I asked in awe.

“Yeah I thought privacy would be better. And I have it so they are playing the first two halloween town movies. Chan said they are your favorites.”

“Lixie, this is truly amazing thank you so much.” I said hugging him.

We each grabbed some snacks and a drink as we went and settled in next to each other somewhere in one of the middle rows, not wanting to be too close or too far. The seats were those fancy ones that recline and the arm rest could be lifted. We lifted the arm rest and then cuddled into each other's sides. Felix had one hand around my shoulder and the other laying across my stomach. I felt so safe and content in his arms. We stayed like this during the majority of the films, occasionally looking over at each other and smiling. We watched the movies and added our input about them throughout since it was just us. As the end credits rolled on the second film Lix started to get up stretching his body with him.

“That was amazing Lix thank you.” I said, starting to get up myself and stretching.

“I am glad you liked it but the night is not over yet I still have something else planned.” Felix said smiling.

“You do?” I said, looking at him with wide eyes.

He nodded his head and then took my hand giving it a kiss. He led me out of the theater and back to the car. He refused to tell me where we were going next but I didn't really care because I am still so excited. After a little while the car came to a stop again. Felix once again got out and held my hand. When I got out of the car I realized we were outside my apartment.

“Lix what are we doing here?”

“There's a little surprise inside. Chan let me use his key to get in earlier and set everything up.”

“Awe Lix you really are amazing.” I said holding him.

He led me up the stairs and into my apartment with a hand splayed across my lower back. When we walked in I noticed he set up a fort in my living room with the mattress on the ground in front of the T.V. he also covered the makeshift bed with pillows and blankets. In the kitchen there were ingredients set up.

“What is all of this Lix?”

“I figured we could cook together and watch some more movies, I also got stuff to make my brownies and I got us matching pj’s. Also I thought the privacy of your apartment is better than having the rest if the guys linger around trying to intrude on our date.” Lix said with a smile on his face.

“This is perfect Lixie.” I said, giving him another tight hug. “Truly amazing.”

We changed into our matching pajamas. It was two black long sleeve shirts and plaid pajama pants. We then went into the kitchen where we made a homemade pizza Lix making the crust in the shape of a heart. We were messing around throwing flour around but we didn't care because it was so fun. As that was baking Felix and I made the batter for the brownies using his secret recipe. Once the batter was made we went into the bathroom together to wash our faces of the flour. Lix helped me wipe my face and then I did the same for him. When the pizza was done we took it out of the oven and placed it on the counter. We then put the brownies in the oven. We cut the pizza into slices and moved to the living room. We sat down in the fort and started watching some marvel movies seeing as we both love them. When we finished our pizza Lix got up and took the brownies out of the oven. I washed the dishes and cleaned up our mess while he served the sweet treats. We took them back to our fort where I finally got to try Felix’s famous brownies. As I took a bite I was in awe. They were amazing and so incredibly fudgy.

“Felix, these are the best things I have ever had.” I said gleaming up at him.

“You really think so? That means so much to me. I'm glad you like them.” he said smiling.

“Like them, I love them.”

Felix and I finished our brownies and kept watching the movies cuddled up together with his arms around me once again.

“This was an amazing date Lix, thank you.” I said sincerely.

“Of course sunshine I am glad you liked it.”

“I loved it Lixie.” I said as I turned to face him still in his grasp.

“Is it ok if I kiss you?” He asked leaning closer to me.

“Of course Lix I would love that.”

When our lips finally connected it was a soft slow kiss full of passion and admiration. We stayed like this, neither of us wanting to break the kiss. When we pulled apart I looked at his face while trying to catch my breath from the intensity of the kiss. He was blushing and his lips were kiss bitten. I don't think this man has ever looked more attractive than at this moment. We laid down together as I pressed my face into his chest taking in his scent as we chatted until we fell asleep in each other's embrace.

Taglist: @strawberry31

#skz #skz x reader #skz smut #bang chan #slow burn #lee felix

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swearingcactus · 5 months

Text

OC INTERVIEW : Lil V :)

thanks for the tag @v-eats-bugs (and @elvenbeard's post that reminded me that I have yet to do this even though I was tagged!) get ready for your local little guy answering some of your q's (this pic was supposed to just be a cover but it does make him look like he's answering these before bed in his jammies, which could fit too)

🔸Name?🔸 "Contrary to popular belief, it's not a pasta brand, but I would neither confirm or deny any guesses."

There's been wild rumors that he's changed his name to Vitoli or Viagra (Jackie's fault for that one) but nope, his name's still Vincent. His last name's Woodman or some other boring generated name hospitals print out for babies with no parents claiming them, so he never went by it. Great decision on his end, cus "Vincent Woodman-or-similarly-boring-sounding-last-name" sounds more like an accountant than a cool merc.

🔸Nickname?🔸 "Just V."

Before Atlanta, some 'friends' burned him and used him as scapegoat for a gig and he landed in prison because of it. His efforts to erase the records and leave much earlier than his sentence bankrupted him; but he got out and decided to wipe his slate clean. What better way to start a new life than with a new (technically just chopped down) name?

🔸Gender?🔸 "🤨📸"

Cis male. But he thinks it's weird if people gotta ask that.

🔸Star sign?🔸 "Aw fuck, I gotta ask Misty for that, I keep forgetting which one I am. Hang on."

This is totally not a cop-out cus i haven't played phantom liberty and therefore am still unsure when is his canon birthday. Either way he doesn't care about it that much.

🔸Height?🔸 "5'8 which I've heard is 173cm."

173cm is NOT 5'8, he's lying or simply getting it wrong, and frankly for night city denizens, that's more amusing to ponder than his height.

🔸Orientation?🔸 "Oh ;) I'm not picky! ;) heheh wait i mean 🤨📸"

Sometimes his excitement at the prospect of getting laid by hot men and women makes him forget to act cool and nonchalant about being bi.

🔸Nationality/Ethnicity?🔸 "I mean I'm pretty sure I gotta be somewhat white, but never knew the detes. Not gonna pay a corpo for them to tell me about it either, cus what do they know?"

He has a paler complexion, but sometimes his features on the right lighting kinda play tricks on you. With him being from Heywood and no parents to speak of, he has no idea if he could actually be part Hispanic or Asian or any other ethnicity. Obviously, he could pay to get some 2077 "hyper-accurate" version of 23andMe but he thinks that's bull and way too easy to fake. Totally just that and not cus he gave up on the idea of biological families anyways, nope.

🔸Fave fruit?🔸 "I dunno, never really had anything 'ganic 'cept some grapes and they were really sour, so probably not those. Pears are okay, I guess."

🔸Fave season?🔸 "Winter. Atlanta sucked but they had better winters."

Atlanta's winter was colder than Night City's, so the idea of spending the holidays just cold and broke with crippling loneliness sounded too horrible. He attempted to avoid this by treating himself to a 'real' white christmas experience, tried ice skating and making snow bunnies when it did snow and got hot chocolate and even bought himself some overpriced present and all that. Atlanta didn't work out, but he did like winter coming out of it, and he gets nostalgic of it when the holiday season come around.

🔸Fave flower?🔸 "Sunflowers. Oh, but cherry blossoms are really pretty too, even when they're just holos."

He doesn't tell this story much, but when he got out of prison, the field next to the road was riddled with dying sunflowers. Nothing welcomed him out of the gutter but those shriveled plants right next to ones that were done blooming couple weeks ago. If he had been able to get out earlier, he could've seen at least some of them in bloom. It should be a bitter thought and memory, but he found walking next to them very comforting. He has a soft spot in his heart for them ever since.

🔸Coffee, tea, hot chocolate?🔸 "Well not coffee, and not tea, so I guess hot chocolate it is. Actually, you have that iced?"

He used to think he's a coffee guy but dating Kerry made him realize the canned coffee he drinks are just sugar with a hint of caffeine flavor. (he hated the black ganic stuff Kerry drinks but powered through that One Time) In general though, he likes cold drinks more than hot ones.

🔸Average hours of sleep🔸 "I'd like to say 8 but I know that'd be lying. Probably closer to 5 or 6."

Don't get him wrong, he gets on the bed. He just scrolls his phone for hours after and doesn't sleep immediately when he gets on it is the problem. He falls asleep closer to 2-3AM, then wakes up at 8 or 9. This is a real issue if he stays the night over with Panam at camp, since the Aldecaldos are mostly early birds.

🔸Dog or Cat person?🔸 "Oh cat, definitely. Have you seen my cat Nibbles?" *queues up 100+ picture slides of her directly to your holo*

🔸Dream trip?🔸 "Antarctica, maybe? Heard it's kinda peaceful over there, and it'd be even colder than Atlanta so hell yeah, could get all cozy, bundled up and waddle around there for a bit."

🔸Fave Fictional Character🔸

to reiterate this post , he found a copy of Toy Story 4 and made fun of how Duke Caboom sounded like a chipper, Canadian version of Johnny. Then the whole 'guy who failed a stunt and got thrown in the trash because of it, is actually deeply terrified about the entire experience but still continues to be a happy dude' hit too close to home.

🔸Number of blankets they sleep with🔸 "??? People sleep with multiple blankets??"

Just one. He gets too cold even with it when he gets even sicker from the relic, so he sleeps with fuzzy socks too now. The idea of two blankets for one person never occurred to him.

🔸Random fact🔸 "Okay, I'm only gonna tell you this 'cus I'm back in Night City, and enough time has passed that no way anyone can actually get anything to stick to me... but back in Atlanta, I used to crash weddings. Not even for gigs, was just trying to avoid spending eddies on meals. It's really easy to just sneak in, especially if you wear some black cardigan, or flash a digital lanyard, or just walk really fast and with purpose. They just assume I'm part of the event organizer or one of the catering team, and let me in. Then you just act like you've been invited, grab a plate and mingle with some guests who don't look important. Was better entertainment than BDs too, hearing all the stuff about the bride and groom from different tables. Sometimes I just let slip some gossip I heard from another group to the current one I'm mingling with, and shit would hit the fan real quick, which means I get to delta nice and quiet. I wish I could stay for more of 'em, Atlanta weddings end a lot more in fist-fights than Night City ones, that's for sure."

Yeah so he might not know or realize this detail, but he most definitely was the reason those fist-fights happen and was part of the reason for the spike in divorce rate in Atlanta for a bit.

phew that was a lot of words. no pressure tagging @mail-me-a-snail @glitchinginthegarden and anyone else who'd like to join but haven't been tagged! :)

#lil guy v #askingcactus #drops some elusive additional lil v lore and runs

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merge-conflict · 5 months

Text

interview with a thief

tagged by @ghostoffuturespast thank you! I also decided to play with the framing of this one because it seemed like it'd be fun. please note that 'Hellman' within the text of this piece is actually Johnny in disguise, which hopefully becomes obvious after a bit of the interview. The number of line breaks means it's long under the cut, fair warning.

Kerry Eurodyne has refused all media interviews since he moved into the penthouse suite at Maximus Turrim, but we were lucky enough to catch two of his associates: Dr. Anders Hellman and Valentina Myśliwiec, both former employees of Arasaka, at the Regis bar. They agreed to an interview on the condition that they would not answer any questions about their current legal entanglement, Rogue Amendiares, or Eurodyne himself. They have also chosen the questions for this interview. Due to technical issues, no video or photos are available.

Dr. Hellman has been reclusive since his widely publicized break from Arasaka, and looks very little like the tall, polished doctor who once presented at prestigious conferences around the globe. Myśliwiec is a dark horse, but with the kind of studied intensity one would expect from Arasaka SpecOps. They seem to be old friends, spending the first few minutes of our time arguing about the contents of the questionnaire.

Thanks for agreeing to the interview, I really appreciate it.

Hellman: Sure, although just to be clear I’m only a bystander.

Myśliwiec: You’re never only a bystander. Magnanimous of you to share the spotlight with me, though.

Well, you’re something of an unknown to our audience, so it’s great to get a chance to know more about you.

Myśliwiec: Oh, well that is exciting.

Let’s start with the basics. Name? Nickname?

Myśliwiec: Valentina Myśliwiec. You need me to spell that? No? People usually call me V.

How should I address you?

Myśliwiec: Thief. Any pronouns is fine.

Thief?

Myśliwiec: Is that a problem?

No, just unexpected, given your background. Is that from your days as a mercenary?

Hellman: Mercenary? (laughs) Two-bit gonk at best.

Myśliwiec: Takes one to know one. And to answer the question: yes. It was a very transitory period of my life.

Hellman: (scoffing) Really?

You could change it to fugitive now, I suppose.

Myśliwiec: (laughing) Maybe I should.

So, what’s your star sign?

Myśliwiec: I knew you were going to ask me this but I’ve just forgotten.

Hellman: Libra.

Myśliwiec: How do you know that?

Hellman: I looked it up, right here. Not sure you’re very diplomatic.

Myśliwiec: If I was undiplomatic you’d know.

How tall are you?

Myśliwiec: Six two.

Where are you from?

Myśliwiec: Born and raised in NC. This is actually the furthest I’ve been from home.

Hellman: Damn, V. Now that’s a sad story.

Favorite fruit? Do they have fruit in Night City?

Myśliwiec: …Kerry Eurodyne?

Is that a question?

Hellman: Alright, wise guy, Kerry isn’t an option on the list.

Myśliwiec: Tough crowd.

Hellman: Mango isn’t on here either. There, strawberries. What’s with this list, anyway? Where are the bananas?

Myśliwiec: (laughing) What?

Bananas?

Hellman: What?

Myśliwiec: Bananas have been extinct for thirty years.

Hellman: I knew that.

OK. Moving on. What’s your favorite season?

Myśliwiec: Spring.

Hellman: And how long have those been extinct?

Fifty, at least.

Myśliwiec: At least.

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?

Myśliwiec, Hellman: Coffee.

How many hours of sleep do you get on average?

Myśliwiec: Ten. Twice as much as I used to.

Even with Arasaka gunning for you?

Hellman: (waving his finger) That one’s not on the list.

Sorry. Can’t blame me for trying. Are you a dog or a cat person?

Hellman: She loves dogs.

Myśliwiec: Cat person. (peering over Hellman’s shoulder) You’d better have selected cat.

What’s your dream trip?

Myśliwiec: The moon. I’d love to see the Earth from up there.

Hellman: Ah, you are a romantic.

Myśliwiec: Don’t tell anyone. Can we strike that from the record?

Sorry, no.

Hellman: I’m going to select ‘outer space’. There’s no option for moon.

Who’s your favorite fictional character?

Myśliwiec: Hackerman.

Hellman: Who the hell is Hackerman?

Myśliwiec: The most powerful hacker of all time?

Hellman: Alright, better question: who the hell are all these people?

Myśliwiec: Let me see. Oh, definitely Maria the Destroyer.

Hellman: Hard to argue with a name like that.

Number of blankets that you sleep with?

Myśliwiec: Just one.

Hellman: Depends on how you define blanket. (Myśliwiec elbows him in the ribs.) Alright, alright, “one”.

What’s a fun fact?

Myśliwiec: Did you know there’s a kind of butterfly that preys on ants? The caterpillars pretend to be ant larvae and get taken back to the nest, where they use additional mimicry to act like an ant queen. They eat all the ant larvae, get big and fat, and then pupate right there in the nest.

Hellman: You and your disgusting bug facts. I’m not typing all that.

Myśliwiec: Well, what’s my result?

Hellman: It says Purple Force.

Myśliwiec: Absolutely not. Purple Force? I’m obviously Red Menace. You picked dog, didn’t you?

Hellman: What, you think I’d lie to you?

Myśliwiec: Uhuh. I guess that’s the end of our time.

Hellman: Your first interview. Not so bad, huh?

Not bad at all. Thank you for your time.

Tagging @corpocyborg, @corphoe, @gamerkitten, @dani-the-goblin The original questions for the interview are:

Name Nickname Gender Star Sign Height Nationality/Ethnicity Favorite Fruit? Favorite Season? Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate? Average hours of sleep? Dog or Cat person? Dream Trip? Favorite Fictional Character? Number of Blankets you sleep with? Fun fact?

#tag game #ffor canon compliant oc interview I guess #love the idea that they have a ban on interviews but #valentine and johnny are drinking in the bar doing uquizzes and spontaneously decide to reward this guy's initiative #alt fried the video footage and images naturally

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yuseirra · 4 months

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I just want to say that I really like how you write Ryoji in your comics I feel like you really understand his character. Almost every piece I've seen from you featuring him has made me cry (in a good way! I just love this character so much and it's great to see him getting so much love). I hope you're having a better day, virtual hugs!

Hello!! sometimes it takes me awhile to answer asks, please pardon me with that, there's no way I'd mean to leave the ones as sweet as these unattended!! I was actually drawing ryoji earlier, so I'd like to attach it to this ask, thanks anon!! :) :)

I love how he's so extra with how he was introduced in the movie, I really hope they have something like this in reload too, it'd make a nice addition. He's important. ✨✨

I keep making the same phrases (I wish I could have more variety with words really ;v;!!) but I really appreciate your ask! I can tell you really love ryoji and his character, and I care for this boy too. It fills me with.. this glee that I've been portraying him in a way that speaks to his fans too, and that's great. Isn't it really nice when you like the same things with someone else, in a way that resonates with you? :) I'm happy what I did was like that for you! Let's have fun together and appreciate the ryoji! 'v')9

I'd love to understand his character well, the way do for all my favs! I rewatched a lot of the scenes he was in and I did my studies again, and it'd be nice if I could bring him out well. This compliment you gave me makes me more proud of my works. More confident as well!

I'm sure reload will do more with him too, so I'm ready to gain more insight about his character! There are many characters who'd thrive with the extra scenes, but personally, I think ryoji, shinji and strega would really benefit from those the most if there are (and maybe ikutsuki too. I'm actually a bit curious about this guy and he needs some screen time) OH there's only two weeks left now, I'M SO READY!

I went on and on because I got excited about this ask, I hope you don't mind! ;v;)/ thank you for the hugs, I wish the same for you! Hope you have good days, and I will draw more ryojis when I have good ideas. I love his scarf a lot and it's fun to draw it swaying around, and the guy is very sweet, I like that about him..thinking about him makes me appreciate life more and that's great.

Hope you have a good day anon! See you again soon!

#asknreply #persona #persona 3 #doodle #ryoji mochizuki #is a good boy #I'm sure that they'll show that part of him well like how they did for the social link and the movies #not like he wasn't that way in the base game but I'd love to see more of it!!

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godslush · 4 months

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Hello again! hope your well! So I think I get the premise of this but correct me if I’m wrong so In your comic sunstar doesn’t technically exist therefore if he were to develop a soul like the other stardroids it would be a whole other issue of “being that never existed develops an existence?”(or something similar? I’m not sure sorry ;-;) and figuring that whole situation out (I’m guessing the stardroids have to do that [like babysitting? Kind off??? I dunno]

And in “escape the temple” Sunstar being freed and becoming complacent with his status as a god has the stardroids(terra in particular) having to keep him out of trouble especially with the traps made for the sungod lines. It honestly makes me think of like those child leashes except Sungod size ( that made me laugh a little with sunstar just wondering off and whoever’s holding the leash getting dragged along{however unlikely that he would let himself be made to wear that I just thought it was funny}). I’ll be completely honest with you I live reading oc info pages and seeing art and stories/ storylines for them just gets me excited! I tell you I read through your entire oc list before I got to the comics cause I just love reading them helps get the brain cells moving for ideas lol. Especially cause of how interesting and well written they were! Just really gets me engaged and interested in the stories :) honestly thank you for answering my asks ;o; especially cause your not as active on here as on twitter and this is my only way of really asking ;-;. I hope you’re doing well and I hope you have a good rest of your day/night! Thank you!

Hey there! Since these are getting long and a little specific, I’ll put it behind a cut, though I may opt to shift these to private answers if they start getting too spoily or personal.

---

The Stardroid comic is a “years later” followup on Gigamix, so I’m somewhat beholden to what Ariga-sensei has revealed, whether it be on TwiX or in lore-dumps like the Maniax books. Thankfully, he’s also VERY much a proponent of fans coming up with their own stories and headcanons (as mentioned when asked about hairstyles; since fans will frequently take his opinions and designs over the canon ones even when he’s not working in an officially-moderated capacity, and he doesn’t want to cause a rift with Capcom’s control over their own franchise and his own chances to work with them in the future).

That said, there isn’t MUCH 'canon' information on the Gigamix Stardroids, even in Maniax, with the bulk of it being focused on Terra and Mercury... but out of my own preferences, I’d still like to keep what’s available intact, and build off that, even if I end up building a LOT. In Sunstar’s case, he’s not even a robot, just a conglomerate of destructive energy and negative emotion. So trying to work with that and give HIM closure was rough. First, he needs a body and a soul...

Once he gets those, it's a bit rough on the Stardroids, too, but at the end of the day gets resolved by them (and a critical third party) realizing that what they understood of him was incomplete, and trying to figure out how to fix that...

---

Escape the Old Temple, in contrast, is technically built off the games (since it’s designed to be a game, itself), but presents a branch where Sunstar didn’t actually die at the end of World 5/V, merely faking his death and then masking the presence of himself and the other Stardroids (also miraculously surviving) so that they could rebuild at the edge of the solar system without further human intervention. The only reason Rock was able to defeat him in the first place was because he had just awoken from a who-knows-how-long slumber, and was essentially still booting up. Once at full power, he’s beyond pretty much anything human technology could throw at him in their current state.

He simply steps in when a ‘relic’ of the Stardroid’s ancient past (in the form of Antares’ trap-filled temple/tomb) shows up. On one hand, if Antares is still active, it could pose a threat to Earth. On the other, if someone like Wily decides to meddle, he could gain access to technology that could negatively impact what chances Earth has at a continued ‘peaceful’ existence. Rock proved that peace was possible, and Sunstar wants to do his part; whether or not the other Stardroids agree is another issue entirely, but their own stability is also threatened by the temple’s presence, so they might as well be the first line of defense (plus, they’d know what to do with the technology they loot, unlike some wacky mad human scientist).

Sun isn’t so much running off on his own, but when the others fail to return from scouting the temple, he and Terra dispatch themselves to get them back and end the threat personally. Sun’s approach to it is just... a little more haphazard and forceful (and frustrating for Terra). It’s less of a child-leash issue... but I will be honest, the mental image of that is hilarious and pretty much on-point. It’s definitely how Terra feels at times!

---

And thank you so much for the kind words on the OCs-! But it... doesn’t really change my feeling on the verge of giving up (likely temporary, but no less debilitating)...

Mental Health Dump ahead, feel free to skip, but it’s the gist of things as they stand:

My biggest success with the [REDACTED] fandom pretty much set me up for unfair expectations on engagement, and ever since the thing that made me fall out of that fandom (which involved getting into official development, only to have my soul crushed and disregarded and left to rot under an NDA until it was too late to salvage my emotional state, causing me to lose many friends and all of my self-worth), I’ve suffered from intense RSD. That - plus a constant stream of working myself to burn-out for little to no engagement - has made me more or less a wreck, who can’t maintain reasonable creative function without sufficient external positive reinforcement to keep up my energy. However, because of my past expectations and relative success when it comes to OC engagement, the threshold for what’s considered ‘sufficient’ reinforcement is a lot higher than most people, and not reaching it causes me to sink lower and lower each time I ‘fail’.

Couple that with my bad track record for being stuck in jobs I hate IRL, and you’ve got a recipe for frequent meltdowns.

I know I should be getting help/therapy for this, but attempts to do so have ranged from getting simply brushed aside put on meds that make matters worse, to literally being told by a mental health screener that there’s nothing wrong with me and that my ‘problems’ are all because I’m a woman and my hormones are making me miserable (I’m not joking).

I was able to get decent headway into the Mega Man fandom as an escape born of trying to return to my roots, but I also had, at the time, just gotten a job I actually loved, and seemed stable and fulfilling and it gave me life and energy and enough free time to actually dedicate to larger projects (like the comic).

...And then the boss of that job started loading most of his management work on me (while keeping my title as 'sales associate' so the experience wouldn't reflect for future job hunting/unemployment), before betraying me and throwing the company away to pursue gambling and crypto (presumably, due to his suspicious lack of communication when asked for details), which landed me back in Corporate Retail Hell, which is where I currently reside, living alone amidst rapidly increasing rent, utilities, and general cost of living.

I am once again reliant on engagement... engagement I’m just not getting because the Tumblr environment has changed since the [REDACTED] days to dissuade comments/replies/asks, and the TwiX environment has changed to be so painfully algorithm-dependent that I can barely get scraps.

To be honest, I’m not ‘more active’ on TwiX anymore... and if anything, I’m on my way out there, too, due to the way Stinky ruined everything and made the environment hostile and unstable. But I can’t shift my weight fully to Tumblr, either, because I don’t trust it to not eventually fall into the [REDACTED] trap of people only approaching me hoping I’ll be their friend so that they can get free art out of me (and a few people have already thrown up the red flags of that behavior, making me even more on-guard).

I also get the feeling that this is a community that prioritizes giving the time of day to people actively mingling with all the other creators; I can’t get away with what I did at the height of my drive, where I’d create characters and people would stop by and enjoy them with me. What little energy I have either goes to creating, or to maintenance, and unless I’ve got a reasonable stream of incoming energy to spend, I can’t feasibly mingle the way people seem to expect. It’s too big a space to spread myself so thin.

When I started my comic, I lived in a hole under a rock. The world I knew was small, and a small amount of engagement was enough. Then I stepped out from that safety and into the fandom and saw how large and expansive it really is, and how insignificant I am, and how effortlessly other people doing similar things to me can get all the validation in the world from 5-minute white-background line doodles of their own OCs, while I struggle to get full pieces recognized... and I’ve more or less become overwhelmed by a combination of fandom agoraphobia and personal futility.

If I can make something that looks okay in one go with minimal frustration, I might post it... but seeing how little that gets me unless it involves "popular fav" canon characters means that if I hit any snags in a larger project with original components, ANY frustration at all, I’m more likely to simply stop, out of fear that the energy spent to leap the hurdles won’t be recouped by the final product.

That's why the one Ask still sitting in the Remes box hasn't been answered; I wanted to precede answering it with a larger story (albeit an unrelated one, but I wanted to get that story into people's heads going forward), but hitting snags in that story and realizing I'd most likely post it and get 6 notes total made me just... not feel like it'd be worth it.

I thank you for your kind words, I truly do... but right now I am just one failure too far over the line to be anything more than an eyesore and a liability until I recoup...

#ask answer #onyxgladiolus #cw mental health #cw depression

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13eyond13 · 8 hours

Note

23 + 25 for GriffGuts!

Omg thank you @ofdemonsandangels !! I'm v excited to get Berserk asks ♥︎

I'm not sure if the request is for the individual characters or just the ship or both, so I'm going to cover all my bases and answer for ALL THREE.

GUTS + favourite picture of them:

First thing that came to mind was his sword + moon pose! I just feel v fond of and oddly protective of and affectionate of him when I look at it. I just love when he's being all pensieve and secretly sentimental about stuff by himself...

GRIFFITH + favourite picture of them:

Hmmm. There's just something about the way Griffith's drawn in the later part of the Golden Age that I like the most. Def the biggest fan of his design when he looks like this:

His scary blazing eyes during the second swordfight in the snow really stuck in my head, and are some of the first panels I picture whenever I'm picturing Griffy!

GRIFFGUTS + favourite picture of them:

This fanart is pretty fantastic... if I didn't already know the pairing and saw it I'd probably be like damn, this looks compelling, who is that? 👀

https://www.tumblr.com/13eyond13/742518174586748928?source=share

BUT also so is this fanart (got those scary blazing Griffith eyes down perfect, and also ahhh the wings and the scratches on Guts' back!!)

GUTS + what was your first impression of this character? How about now?

I first started reading Berserk at the end of 2023 without knowing much of anything about it other than it had a character named Guts with a huge sword, that some fans shipped him with a character named Griffith, and I had heard that the art style was apparently pretty amazing and crazy as well. I fully did not expect to like Guts that much or relate to him that much going into things, and assumed he'd be a super boring edgy hyper-violent macho 80s meathead muscleman without much personality. And upon reading the first few chapters I certainly wasn't feeling extremely fond of him yet (especially during stuff like the very opening scene where he's banging some demon lady and then killing her, which once you actually get to know him is like one of the most odd and out-of-character things for him to do, and I think shows Miura hadn't really figured Guts as a character out totally yet). It actually didn't take THAT long for me to realize that there was more to him than that and to warm up to him a lot, though. Even partway through the Black Swordsman Arc I feel he started intriguing me with some of the more unexpected stuff he was doing and the mysterious hints about whatever had taken place in his past that was currently haunting him so much. And certainly by the time you start seeing his childhood memories and the Golden Age and getting to know why he is the way he is I was feeling very attached to him and invested in him emotionally! He's by far my fave of the bunch, and he just feels very much like a living breathing being to me in canon much of the time. One of my all-time fave characters now.

GRIFFITH + what was your first impression of this character? How about now?

I knew basically nothing about Griffith going into things initially. He came off pretty goofy as Femto to me initially, so at the start of the Golden Age I remember just being like, omg so how does this pretty femboy guy become that weird bitchy Batman in the labyrinth that Guts ends up hating so much? 😅 I also did not expect him to be so outright gay for Guts as he is in the manga, and had previously assumed the fandom's shipping of these two was probably based mostly on your typical barely there homoerotic subtext or whatever. Very surprised to find there was just so much blatantly going on there in the text and that it was basically directly discussed by the characters and almost written like a straight-up romance, and all of this stuff seemed very intentional and deliberate on Miura's part to me too. I remember especially being impressed by how bold Griffith was about just straight-up announcing his interest in/attraction to Guts to his face (and how much Guts actually seemed to be into him back too, even if he's a bit slower and more shy and furtive about it – which to me is much more unusual than having a queer-coded villain guy expressing obsessive interest in the male protagonist – he usually isn't also equally interested back like that!). I think Griffith is at his most interesting to me during those early parts when he's being very upfront about his emotions with other characters and a bit vulnerable like that, especially because we spend so much of the rest of the story only ever seeing him from a very guarded and emotionally closed-off dead-inside sort of distance as a character. He maybe isn't my favourite because I don't relate to his personality that much, and sometimes his ethereal otherworldliness and mysteriousness made it harder for him to feel as real to me as the others do – Guts and Casca often felt a bit more human and down-to-earth and easier to emotionally attach myself to and to know things about for sure, so I found myself caring about those two the most whenever I was reading it. And then of course there was a long stretch of the story there where he genuinely shocked and appalled me with what he did to everyone (I had zero spoilers for what was actually going to happen during the Eclipse and did not expect it to be anything nearly as bad as what happened lol). At times I really loathed him and got super angry at him as a character, but I also appreciated that he drew such strong emotional reactions from me and was always making the most interesting things in the plot that I actually care about happen, too. Whenever I was super mad at him I would be furious every time he showed up and did literally anything onscreen, yet also would get so frustrated and bored and antsy whenever he would disappear for hundreds of chapters at a time, too 😅 I feel like that made it much easier to understand why he drove Guts so crazy, because I was being driven a bit crazy by him too... Can't live with him and can't live without him! I remember finding Guts the most interesting character in canon when I was actually reading the story, but I find that Griffith is the most fun one to think and talk and speculate about with the other people in the fandom after the fact. I appreciate him a lot now as an interesting character and an antagonist, but he isn't exactly a beloved blorbo to me the way Guts is so much as he is the guy I like to rotate on a spit in my mind and listen to other fans talk about and to contemplate the most, maybe?

GRIFFGUTS + what was your first impression of this ship? How about now?

All I knew is that a few of my DN mutuals who I think have good taste liked the ship, which made me mildly interested to see what I thought about it myself going in, though I didn't really expect to be that into it myself. Then I was taken aback by how strongly the story seemed to be actually based around the relationship between these two and how actually gay it was between them both, haha. I was conflicted a bit about it and whether or not I actually cared to ship it as I was reading it, particularly because of the grosser stuff that Griffith does during the Eclipse really putting me off him for a good chunk of time. But I think after I finished the manga and sat chewing on it a bit longer I kept wondering how the story might have changed if those two had been able to communicate a little better with each other and make some different choices and have some important realizations pre-Eclipse. It's one of my absolute fave tropes as well, the codependent besties that maybe actually both secretly have feelings for each other that then turn into enemies, when you can also see that maybe they probably actually could've easily turned into lovers instead. And I just feel like at the end of the day even though it's clearly never going to be a happily ever after or whatever at this point that I think they both still kinda love each other too, whether or not they admit it or whether anybody approves lol. It's one of those ships that to me is just like, why do I ship them? IDK bro, because they ship themselves... ask THEM why they're still into each other even now and even despite everything... I feel like I'm just simply sitting here listening to what they're saying and picking up what they're putting down lol

#berserk spoilers #griffguts #ask #ofdemonsandangels #p

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