#that those are no horses. those are... shape-crawlers | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wraithclatter · 17 days

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Obscuring The Martyrs

The fruits of Aion's-old ritual slaughter,

Sacrificial massacres begin

To bud yawning awake in

So early an hour- The flesh

Throbs with the constellations

Made of every hand and ear

Tongue and nerves and brain;

Spinning orbits of flickering bodies,

Coded in it's magnetic attraction grabbing

Those marked-or branded,

Behavioral rhythms as the well of gravity

Inverse, constraining the animated spark,

The confounding of entanglement

In the screaming tapestry- Feverish

Beast-Slaves shuffling, tracing phantom

Foot-paths to the future.

In the Ram's eyes gleaming,

The mirror of the Black Star

Of Anti-patterned Chaos

With it's near-irrisistable seductiveness,

Stains of gore, of battle

Unfocused and territorial to the Ram's face.

The ancient violence of the fox-minded

Cannibals will wrought itself upon the bleating

Hearts of the Earth. Always there is

The cloud of sickness and poison rotting

Out through the Common-Crawlers

Displaying their pervasive saturation,

Deficiencies and maladaptions

Running their circuits in the

Majority of living bodies, becoming

Inflamed in their vicious disintegration,

Pecking at the liver of the confused forgetful

Tribes war-brained from constant strifes

Of interaction, of mingling. The body

Is an instrument, and should be tuned

As such, played as such.

You will know this when you

See through your eyes, and not

Simply with them. To hear through

Your ears, and not simply with them.

To feel the Unnameable,

And not simply numbness.

Obscuring the martyrs-

Their dharmic deeds suppressed,

Censured from the fury of the frenzy;

Seemingly burnt out, leaving only

Phantom cries of an abandoned camp

Held perched within cloud and blue clutches.

But golden with The Mana,

Pierce they, this fragile world

Like a shaft of sun into a murky puddle.

These are the martyrs who still sing silently

Yet deed is known without a voice.

The data is sown of necessity not choice.

Martyrs whose tapestry is the gleaming

Mediums federated and webbed

In the Jaws of Night,

The maw of Untropaeus, un-logic.

The limited space between all things,

Their refuge. Where no sheathed coil

May come to fully baptize themselves

In Incarnation. In those regions of The Dead,

The labyrinth's stringless path is known

By it's heart-beats- And it is these martyrs

Who acquaintance with that world

Is articulated in the intimate interplay

Of sweat and soil, flaming pupils and

Ghostly tread like the Preserver's

3-fated waltz: Empty demarcations

Of the Sole waiting like hungry womb

To be re-trod by worthy limbs.

(3/29/2024)

04/13/24-

Of those obscured Martyrs you may never hear about, or from, just as you may never see them, in person. You may come across their writing, or old symbols they used to advance their brothers and sisters. But their deeds enliven each moment of time as a solitary fact, and as a dynamical influence which shapes your life. Their quiet revolutions actually sing their manifest data each beaded second of your beating heart- their rosarys of inspiration hung like garlands upon your neck, wreath each thought and action in their spirit. You may never know fully of their presence until, one day, whether dimly or more resolutely, you might begin to compute their unionized augmentation of the world around you- and realize they had won the game from the beginning. Just as you have. That there seemed to be a game at all is only a peculiarity of the human mind. That no game, in truth, exists. Yet we make it so. And so the stag-hunt commences all the same: the game-hounds yelping through the trees, mist-clad underbrush anticipating their foot-treads, and the wild and silent king and retinue fly past, horses aflame, while in the distance geese take flight and trumpet the approach of the party.

#poem #poetry #writing #obscuring #the #martyrs #2024

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darwinplants · 3 years

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DIFFERENT TYPES OF HAWORTHIA SUCCULENTS | itsaboutgardening.com

Different Types Of Haworthia - Haworthia is a large genus of succulents that are tiny in size as well as are slow-growing plants. It is unbelievable that these succulents feature various leaf forms, flower dimensions, shades, and also hardiness zone.

If you ask yourself where this succulent type originates from, it desired the British botanist as well as entomologist Adrian Hardy Haworth. These kinds of succulents are recognized to be container or garden plants. And also like any other succulents, they also generate special blossoms during their growing periods. Those flowers are generally white in shade and small in dimension.

Different Types Of Haworthia Succulents

Did you understand the amount of species are under this kind of Haworthia Succulent plants? Well, there are about 150 species of them. Isn't it incredible? Most of these succulents are singular, and also some are clump-forming. You can further review listed below several of the various kinds of Haworthia succulents.

1. Haworthia Coarctata

Haworthia Coarctata or Haworthiopsis Coarctata is a succulent citizen from South Africa. It is a slow-growing as well as clump-forming succulent that has interesting attributes. Haworthia coarctata has dark-green rosettes with pink and also curved ideas.

This delicious is not cold-hardy and can endure Zone 10a (minimum 30 0F -1.1 0C). It is additionally a dormant summer season sort of delicious but still chooses partial shade to complete sun. When this succulent expands, anticipate that it can get to 8 inches in elevation and 2 inches wide.

You can proliferate Haworthia Coarctata by its offsets, seeds, or leaves. It is very easy to care succulent as well as just needs regular watering.

2. Haworthia Margaritifera

This succulent is recognized for several names: Haworthia Pumila or Pearl plant, Padding Aloe, and Fasciata Zebra cactus plant. With its one-of-a-kind as well as charming look, it is remarkably a low-maintenance plant.

When this succulent grows, it can rise to 4 inches in elevation and 6 inches wide. When its rosettes expand, you can expect that they grow in clumps. The fallen leaves of Haworthia Margaritifera have a tendency to expand up in a curving position.

Like any other succulents, the blooming season of this plant is during springtime. And when it blooms, it generates slim blossom stalks. Another piece of information about this delicious is that it can flourish in partial shade to full sunlight.

Still, it can not hold up against below 53o degrees Fahrenheit. A fascinating truth concerning Haworthia Margaritifera is it can meet thirty years! Isn't it amazing?

3. Haworthia Venosa

This succulent is native to the Southern part of Africa and Namibia. It has other names, such as Haworthia Tessellata, but the majority of Africans called it Venstertjie. This plant is not like any other plant because it is adaptable to both amazing and warm locations.

Though Haworthia Venosa still chooses low moisture with tool light and not direct sunshine. It can still make it through throughout wintertime with 15 0C or 59 0F temperature. Many garden enthusiasts as well as delicious collection agencies like this plant due to its lovely leaf markings and color.

When correctly cared for, Haworthia Venosa can grow up to 5 inches in elevation. As well as throughout the summer season, you can anticipate some little as well as white-colored blossoms on the top of its stem. It is additionally excellent to know that this succulent is safe to humans and also animals, so it is risk-free to have this plant anywhere you desire.

4. Haworthia Attenuata

Haworthia attenuata is generally misinterpreted for Haworthia fasciata. Both of these succulents have an one-of-a-kind function: zebra stripes that surround each fallen leave of the plants.

Nonetheless, Haworthia attenuata has deserving developments as well as thick leaves than Haworthia fasciata. The rosettes of Haworthia attenuata can grow up to 8 inches high and 5 inches large, as well as these rosettes are available in globs.

Throughout the summertime period, which is flowering, this succulent generates tiny pink or white flowers on the leading end of the stem. Haworthia Attenuata's growing season is from April to September. As well as this succulent likes intense sunlight, so when positioned inside, it rarely blooms.

5. Haworthia Fasciata

The name of this succulent came from the Latin word "fascia," which suggests "band or strip." Due to those white red stripes around its fallen leaves, it is likewise called Zebra Haworthia.

You can discover this plant in the Southern part of Africa. Aside from its special lines, it has dark-green fallen leaves, thick and also triangular. Even though Haworthia fasciata is a relatively tiny succulent as well as can just grow for concerning 5 inches, it still creates flowers.

These white-colored blossoms appear in springtime or summer season. This delicious is additionally not chilly hardy as well as likes bright sun, but can still grow well indoors. Other than that, it is likewise dry spell tolerant and also summer season dormant. Haworthia fasciata is risk-free to have around since it is safe to humans as well as animals. It is without a doubt real that Haworthia fasciata is a rare plant.

6. Haworthia Cuspidata

The name "Cuspidata" originated from the Latin word "cupidatus," which means "pointed." It has a scientific name of Haworthia Cymbiformis, however this succulent is widely popular as Star Home window Plant.

Haworthia cuspidata is understood for having uncommon rosettes such as sharp suggestions and also grey-green obovate leaves. These rosettes can mature to 4 inches in diameter. Despite the fact that Haworthia cuspidata is a stemless plant, it can still generate flowers.

Some white-colored blossoms show up in florescence in late springtime or mid-summer, which includes beauty to the plant. For this plant to accomplish its best appearance, it needs partial color to full sun.

It will require time before Haworthia Cuspidata comes to be a mature delicious given that it belongs to the slow-growing type of succulents.

7. Haworthia Truncata

If a word can describe this succulent, that word is oddly attractive. Haworthia Truncata is an uncommon plant and is a native of Cape Province, South Africa.

This delicious is known for having leaves that appear like a horse's teeth. These leaves expand in thick clusters for concerning 3 to 5 inches in elevation. The small leaves are environment-friendly in shade and rectangular in shape. This kind of delicious kinds inflorescence stalks where white flowers show up in summer season.

Haworthia Truncata is an easy to care plant that only needs typical watering and also partial shade to complete sunlight. It is adaptable to temperature adjustments and can endure light frost yet not lower than 41 0F.

8. Haworthia Springbokvlakensis

This succulent is not an usual type of plant. It has distinct functions such as brownish red stripes on its transparent, gray-green leaves.

Other than that, Haworthia Springbokvlakensis's vegetation has actually rounded leaf tips, which makes it more cute.

Those fallen leaves can mature to 2 to 3 inches in height and 0.6 wide. This kind of succulent is commonly little and also slow-growing. In summer, it generates lovely white flowers. The majority of garden enthusiasts enjoy this plant since it is simple to care for and not testing to grow.

9. Haworthia Bolusii

This stemless succulent can mature to 6 inches in height. It has fleshy eco-friendly leaves that can mature to 3.2 inches wide. Haworthia Bolusii's foliage is incurved fit and also extends inwardly in a curved instructions.

When you look better, this succulent has transparent thorns on its margins, as well as from afar, those thorns look like a crawler web. In late springtime to early summertime, Haworthia Bolusii generates little white flowers with brownish blood vessels.

For this succulent to grow, it requires a warm temperature level in summer season and a cool temperature level in winter season. Excessive heat and cold may harm this plant.

10. Haworthia Angustifolia

Haworthia Angustifolia gets its name from the Latin words "Angus," which implies "slim," and "folium," which suggests "fallen leave." That is why it is likewise called Narrow-leaved Haworthia.

This plant is belonging to South Africa, as well as unlike many Haworthia's, Haworthia Angustifolia is a fast-growing succulent. The only similarity of this succulent to others is its height. Haworthia Angustifolia is relatively little and also can just grow up to 3.2 inches in size as well as 4 inches in elevation.

Its rosette is composed of soft, narrow, and also fleshy-green leaves that grow in a vertical instructions. In springtime, this plant produces white flowers that expand in inflorescence. It additionally prefers partial shade rather than complete sunshine.

11. Haworthia Chloracantha

This succulent is a well-known yard or container plant. It has yellow-green leaves as well as a red facility that expands in globs. Each rosette has 18-25 fallen leaves which can mature to 1.6 inches long.

It is a low-maintenance plant that can grow in partial color and also just needs very little and also hardly ever watering. Haworthia Chloracantha is likewise frost-hardy and also can endure in a place with a temperature level of -5 oC.

The very best month to plant this delicious remains in March, when it is proactively expanding. And also its blooming time is in summertime, where it generates tiny white flowers.

12. Haworthia Reinwardtii

Haworthia Reinwardtii is a little clump-forming succulent referred to as African Pearls. The fallen leaves at the bottom of the plant are huge, and there are noticeably tiny white warts at the rear of each fallen leave that are rough in appearance.

This plant can grow up to 8 inches in height, as well as you can propagate it in seeds or offsets. Haworthia reinwardtii is not chilly durable and favors warmer temperature levels to expand beautifully. It creates white blossoms in springtime as well as is relatively safe to people and pet dogs.

13. Haworthia Viscosa

This succulent is one of the special types of Haworthia. It has actually extended rosettes loaded with three-column triangular fallen leaves.

Each leaf can reach 1.6 inches in elevation and also has a green to reddish shade. Haworthia Viscosa is also frost durable succulent and also can stand up to -5 0C. This succulent generates white to pinkish blossoms that show up in inflorescence.

It is best to grow this succulent in March when growing season and also area it in partial shade to achieve its ideal color.

14. Haworthia Nigra

Haworthia Nigra is also known as Black Haworthia as well as is belonging to South Africa. It has rosettes that can grow up to 10 centimeters high and also 6 centimeters vast.

It has noticeable dark environment-friendly to nearly black colored leaves that expand in three columns and also is triangular. Haworthia Nigra is a slow-growing but low-maintenance plant. It doesn't need much effort to create this succulent.

It can grow as long as you supply partial color and also minimal watering. Like any other Haworthias, Haworthia Nigra additionally generates white flowers in springtime. This plant is non-toxic to human beings and also animals, so it is safe to have it around.

15. Haworthia Emelyae

Haworthia Emelyae or Haworthia Picta is a tiny delicious that expands fleshy eco-friendly fallen leaves in a triangular form. Each leaf has white lines that appear like blood vessels. Haworthia emelyae can mature to 5 inches high. In springtime, it produces white flowers that are relatively tiny and also odorless.

16. Haworthia Bayeri

This succulent is also called "Moon Darkness." It is slow-growing yet among one of the most enjoyed kinds of Hawothias due to its indisputably stunning markings.

Haworthia bayeri has dark-colored fallen leaves with rounded pointers. From spring to summer, this plant produces whitish-green blossoms.

It is a low-maintenance plant, so there is no demand to spend lots of money. Haworthia bayeri is also versatile to various temperatures yet still favors cozy temperature levels in summer as well as cool in winter.

17. Haworthia Cooperi Picturata

Haworthia Cooperi Picturata is a small stemless succulent. It has yellow-green leaves that grow in a curvy internal instructions which creates globs.

Each leaf has environment-friendly cellular linings, aimed tips, and little white thorns. Haworthia Cooperi Picturata creates pinkish-white blossoms from springtime to summertime. This sort of Haworthia is an essential succulent, and it is an excellent indoor or outside plant.

18. Haworthia Hybrid Cooperi var. Venusta x Succulent chocolate

This kind of Haworthia is a hybrid with amazing reddish-brown colored fallen leaves. Its fallen leaves are thick as well as rough and also have a triangular form.

When mature, this succulent can reach 5 inches tall - Haworthia Hybrid Cooperi var. Venusta x Chocolate or Haworthia Chocolate chooses partial color to full sun. It is additionally drought-tolerant to ensure that it can thrive without water for weeks or months.

19. Haworthia Koelmaniorum

Haworthia Koelmaniorum is a kind of Haworthia that is belonging to the North part of South Africa. It is a succulent that adjustments shade gradually, from brownish environment-friendly to red shade. Its leaves are harsh and thick.

In summertime, this Haworthia creates white flowers. Bright light is required for this plant to achieve its natural shade as well as prosper. Unlike various other Haworthias, Haworthia Koelmaniorum seldom has a balanced out.

20. Haworthia Transiens

Haworthia Transiens is a stemless plant that has fleshy light eco-friendly foliage. Its leaves are rather rounded with sharp red ideas. Despite the fact that this type of Haworthia is a terrific indoor or exterior plant, it can just grow up to 2 inches tall considering that it is a fairly little delicious.

The 20 noted various kinds of Haworthia succulents over are just several of the must-haves. Haworthias are very easy to care for, and you can select from a wide variety of choices. They might all look comparable in dimension, however their one-of-a-kind attributes are various from one another. It is really impossible to stand up to the beauty of this type of plant. It is also excellent to recognize that Haworthias are human and pet-friendly, with low-maintenance house plants.

If you desire extra HAWORTHIA CARE GUIDE AND PROPAGATION TIPS, click the link and also you will see our ideas as well as guide to care the Haworthia.

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thepalecrawlers · 3 years

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Crawler sighting 24

Northeastern Oklahoma

for the past couple weeks, a lot of weird things have been happening to my brother and i was hoping somebody could help me figure out whats going on.

i live in between two towns, one being much bigger than the other in oklahoma. on july 4th, 2020, two of my friends and i went for a drive after watching a firework show. we ended up driving toward the smaller town. we were listening to music, driving backroads, just teenage girl things. there are two bridges that we would have to cross over to get to the other town. we cross the first one and my friend (we’ll call her E) was freaked out, so she started filming before we crossed the next one. E set her phone up against the windshield. we come up on the second bridge and E’s phone glitches and the screen turns completely red. my other friend, K, is in the backseat and freaks out because well, that was scary. im driving so i look up and at the same time, me and K scream because we see a white figure right in front of the car. E was concerned with her phone and didn’t see. we wrote it off as fog and continued, just thinking “wow, that was really weird”.

we go to the town, get some snacks from a gas station, and are on our way back to my house when a racoon runs in front of my car, stops, and i barely swerve to miss it. we turned the car around to see if i killed it. i didn’t, but the racoon was just standing in the road. we go home, E’s phone goes back to normal, and never really talk about it again.

fast forward to early october this year. i see this tiktok on my for you page of a man riding a horse, when he hears a human voice say “hey” twice, but there is nobody around. the horse instantly stiffens, turns around, and takes off.

days later, my older brother (21) and i are eating dinner by ourselves in the kitchen. he tells me that some scary shit is happening. he has been hanging out with a couple friends lately that live in the smaller town and they’ve all experienced some weird stuff. he tells me that he thinks its a skinwalker and i ask what happened. they heard three taps on his friend’s window over and over again like tap tap tap.....tap tap tap....tap tap tap.... for a while. they went outside and there wasnt anything by the window that could have been hitting it. a couple days later, they were outside at night and they heard two seperate voices and each one said “go” two times. they booked it, ran inside, and then heard the window tapping again later that night. the boys left to go to the living room and when they came back, a single panel on the blinds was opened. the third one from the top. the boys all insisted it wasn’t them. my brother was driving home the other day from the smaller town and said he saw a human height, white figure running toward his direction on the right side of his car and he said it was going at least 70mph, but it wasn’t human, just shaped like it.

that same friend of my brothers has horses and cattle. they purchased two horses from a guy in another town. a few days after the horses arrived, they were found with their manes ripped out (and no where to be found. not on the ground, stuck in a fence, nothing). a couple of days after that, they both died for reasons unknown. the same friend got 2 cows and once again those cows dropped dead with no explanation.

if anyone has any idea if this is a skinwalker, what it is if it isn’t, what do to about it, or any other information, please help me out if you can.

#Crawler #Oklahoma

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eddycurrents · 7 years

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For the week of 16 October 2017

This was a really busy week with some really great comics, endings, beginnings, middles, that resulted in four comics vying for a favourite spot. Doctor Strange #26 by John Barber and Niko Henrichon, Kid Lobotomy #1 by Peter Milligan and Tess Fowler, Maestros #1 by Steve Skroce, and Sherlock Frankenstein & The Legion of Evil #1 by Jeff Lemire and David Rubín. Published by Marvel, IDW/Black Crown, Image, and Dark Horse respectively.

Doctor Strange #26 is technically the second of two self-contained fill-in issues written by John Barber before the new regular team comes aboard, but both last issue with art by Kevin Nowlan and this issue, the last illustrated by Niko Henrichon, have been wonderful. This issue in particular makes me wonder what Barber and Henrichon could have done together for a longer period of time.

John Barber gives us a story that is essentially a dungeon delve, Strange and his assistant, Zelma, travel through abandoned NYC subway tunnels in search of lost relics. As they do so, they stumble upon a team of adventurers who were trapped eons ago driven somewhat mad, and possessed, by the evil that lurked in the temple. Dungeon crawlers are one of my favourite types of RPGs and invariably I love when they show up in fiction as well. Barber does a great job presenting the genre and, since magic is still a scarcity, relevant to the current Strange status quo. There are also some wonderful character moments, building upon the almost humility that Strange has had since Jason Aaron’s run and the humorous interaction between master and student.

It also helps that Niko Henrichon’s artwork is perfectly suited for this kind of mix of horror and fantasy. His designs for the adventurers, especially after they’ve essentially become revenants, is wonderful.

Kid Lobotomy #1 is the launch issue for IDW’s Black Crown imprint curated by former Vertigo editor, Shelly Bond, written by Peter Milligan and illustrated by Tess Fowler, and it is pure, unadulterated glorious madness. To me, this feels like those early heady days of the Vertigo imprint back in the early to mid-’90s, when it seemed like everything was brilliant and beautifully strange, with weird and wonderful ideas flowing. This first issue captures that spirit, the essence, and creates something new.

The setting, characters, and narrative set out from Peter Milligan is suitably bizarre. On its top level, this is a bit of sibling rivalry over property as Kid and Rosebud fight over the hotel, the Suites, that their father, Big Daddy, has left to Kid to run. Of course, Kid and Rosebud have an odd incestuous relationship, or at least seem to have had when they were children, whereas now it’s unclear when something is still going on or if everything now is just Kid’s hallucinations and nightmares. There’s also the hotel itself, populated with strange guests and stranger staff-- ghost children cleaning service and a shape-changing maid who doubles as the bartender and might be Franz Kafka’s youngest sister (who died in 1943 if you’re wondering)--and a “turn down service” of giving New Lobotomy procedures to help excise particularly nasty memories.

That’s the other bit, Kid, has been suffering rock star malaise for some time, tried to kill himself, so Big Daddy invested into curing him, coming eventually to the “cut up” technique of New Lobotomy and Kid has become the resident practitioner of the hotel. It makes me wonder if Milligan’s also playing with our conception of what’s truly happening here, whether some of Kid’s memories are real or not, or if maybe he thinks he was a member of a band because he ate the excised portions of the brain of a man obsessed with the band’s lyrics. There’s nothing to necessarily hint at that, but there are enough presentations of things not being as they seem that it’s a possibility.

And then there’s Tess Fowler’s art. It too has hints of some of the memory of Vertigo stalwarts, a bit of Richard Case, some Luca Rossi, a little Philip Bond, and a taste of Mark Buckingham, resulting in some wonderful artwork that perfectly suits the story. The character designs are great, and as per the reveal of the main lobby at the hotel (as above), they make me wonder about the story of these guests just based on look alone. I want to know more about the girl with wings and a tail, the woman who looks like The Crypt Keeper in an ornate gown, what exactly is attached to the tentacles, and, of course, the normal looking guy with the briefcase.

This is a great first issue and a great launch for Black Crown. I’ve very excited to see what’s to come both from this series and from the future publications.

Maestros #1 is the latest return to comics by Steve Skroce, this time both as writer and artist on this new series. Maestros taps in to some of the same irreverent fantasy as Curse Words, but does so in a familial way.

The first issue introduces us to Will, the last surviving son of the Kahzar bloodline, the magicians or “maestros” that shape and control the known multiverse. His entire family has been decimated by a mad wizard, Mardok, and his army of weird slug and venus fly trappy-type things and now Mardok’s attention has turned to Will in order to finish the job. In comes Will’s mother, Margaret, armed with a trusty talking sword to save him. Cue flashback to Will’s adolescence and awkward moments with family as he learns that he’s got magical blood.

Skroce’s story is indeed the traditional sad boy finds out that he’s special a la Harry Potter, it’s even reference in text, but it’s turned a bit on its ear partially because of the dark humour that’s peppered throughout the story, as well as the fact that the magicians really are pompous dicks that you don’t really feel bad about all of them being slaughtered. You are made to care about Will and his mother, but it’s interesting to see our mundane Earth made special and more pure, as well as its residents, through our lack of magic that runs through the rest of the multiverse.

As usual, Skroce’s art is gorgeous. After the relative normalcy of We Stand on Guard, it’s nice that he’s cutting loose again with some weird fantasy. Like many, I first saw his art on Ectokid for Clive Barker’s Razorline from Marvel and it’s pleasant to see him go back to something raw, strange, and magical.

It’s also fun to see that on Earth this occurring in the lower mainland of British Columbia. Skroce throws in some references like Mugs n Jugs and Abraham’s Books that are sure to amuse BC buds.

Sherlock Frankenstein and the Legion of Evil #1 spins out of Jeff Lemire and Dean Ormston’s Black Hammer series, following on particularly from #12, with Black Hammer’s daughter, Lucy, investigating his disappearance following the confrontation with Anti-God. The series is written by Lemire, with art by David Rubín who had also illustrated the two issues of Black Hammer that focused more completely on this story arc (#9&12). You needn’t necessarily have read any of Black Hammer before, though, as this arc takes place before the mothership and can largely be read on its own.

First, I need to reiterate that David Rubín’s art is absolutely amazing. His character designs are whimsical, intricate, and immensely interesting, perfectly fitting the oddity of the Black Hammer world. His depiction of Sherlock Frankenstein galumphing around in a giant mechanical robostrocity looks like the kind of madness I’m used to seeing leap off the page from Guy Davis’ tenure on BPRD. His page layouts and panel transitions, as well, are incredibly inventive. Just above there’s a spread in a spiral, leading to the central chamber, complete with snapshots of the various villains housed in this facility. Not only is it visually interesting, it manages to convey a fair amount of information about the inhabitants in one go. Great synergy between art and writing.

Second, Lemire is firing on all cylinders here. Perfectly mixing the sense of oddity, family, and nostalgia for old school superheroes that permeates the main Black Hammer series, but also bringing the mystery back to the forefront here. This first issue sees Lucy decide that trying to find the heroes has yielded nothing substantial, so she’s going to investigate their villains, particularly the guy at the top, Sherlock Frankenstein. She visits Spiral Asylum to find clues, especially from one of Frankenstein top henchmen, Mectoplasm. Lemire does a great job of making us feel for the guy, who turns out to be a child dragged from the afterlife and forced into a life of crime in a giant containment suit . It’s weird, but it fits.

Overall, I’m interested to see how this fills in some more of the backstory. I also wonder if it’s going to lead more to the relationship between Frankenstein and Golden Gail, although there’s no hint of it here.

Quick Bits:

All-New Guardians of the Galaxy #12 acts a kind of prelude to the Guardians’ upcoming Infinity Stones quest, as they swing by Earth to see if any of Marvel’s cognoscenti might have come across any of them. They also pick up a new member. This is also a fairly decent jumping on point, before the series adopts its Legacy numbering and starts a new arc. The art from Rod Reis is also phenomenal.

| Published by Marvel

Animosity #10 continues the investigation of the missing bees, with Jesse stumbling upon a somewhat strange farming community, and a familiar face in Mittens. Marguerite Bennett also gives us some more backstory on Jesse’s parents before The Wake. I’m interested in where this is going.

| Published by AfterShock

Animosity: Evolution #1 continues on from The Rise limited series, but still manages to stand on its own fairly well introducing, or re-introducing, us to the characters and the situation of the growing animal society in San Francisco. It’s nice to see this expansion into another side of the Animosity world. The politics and intrigue of the story certainly give off more of an Animal Farm vibe than the mothership, but it’s a welcome difference.

| Published by AfterShock

Critical Role: Vox Machina - Origins #2 ropes in Scanlan and Grog into the story through the raid and looting of a temple, wherein they find a vial tying back into the curse introduced in the first issue. It’s not quite as funny as the real thing, but Matthew Colville again does a great job of capturing the characters’ voices and provides an amusing addition to the story.

| Published by Dark Horse

Deadpool vs. Old Man Logan #1 is a great first issue, especially considering that Mike Henderson’s is truly wonderful. Declan Shalvey’s story is as humorous and over the top as you would expect from a battle between Deadpool and Logan and overall this is just outright fun.

| Published by Marvel

Faith & The Future Force #4 is probably not the ending that you’re suspecting. After throwing wave after repeating wave of heroes at the time-travelling genocidal robot, the finale tries a different tack in recruiting Faith’s arch-nemesis, Chris Chriswell, to combat the evil. It’s fairly inventive and a rather satisfying conclusion.

| Published by Valiant

Generation Gone #4 is pretty fucked up. The artwork by André Lima Araújo is gorgeous, but this is still one seriously messed up story.

| Published by Image

The Infinite Loop: Nothing but the Truth #2 is going to mess with you. Nothing I write can really prepare you without spoiling a lot of stuff. Just read it, it’s good. Plus, there’s a nifty Blade Runner reference.

| Published by IDW

Journey to Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Star Wars: Captain Phasma #4 concludes this limited series bridging The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi and, wow, it really shows off how single-minded, cold-hearted, and ruthless Phasma can be in her devotion to herself. Kelly Thompson has done a great job of making us care about the Pilot and the people of Luprora and...wow. I also have to reiterate that Marco Checchetto and Andres Mossa have made this the best looking Star Wars book from Marvel to date. I highly recommend this series.

| Published by Marvel

Kill or Be Killed #13 further explores the demon that has been central to the series from the beginning, but as per the rest of this arc, in a very different way. Ed Brubaker took a sharp left turn in the context of the story and it’s fascinating to see how it has changed dramatically, adding more depth and pathos, and giving a different understanding to what’s going on with Dylan. As usual, Sean Phillips’ art is stunning. Seriously, I think Brubaker and Phillips can do no wrong.

| Published by Image

Kong: Gods of Skull Island #1 is a decent one off story from Phillip Kennedy Johnson and Chad Lewis. The plot is the oft-repeated one of invading white explorers stumbling upon an existing culture to deleterious effect, but it’s largely immaterial since it’s well told.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Made Men #2 is every bit as good as the first issue, possibly even better, as it gets into more detail about Jutte’s team and their purpose. Paul Tobin does a great job here particularly with the dialogue, really hitting up some of the police tropes in a believable and entertaining fashion. And, again, Arjuna Susini’s art just really puts it over the top. This is a great book.

| Published by Oni Press

Magnus #5 concludes what was another great entry into the current Sovereigns reinterpretation of the Gold Key characters. The artwork by Jorge Fornés has been particularly impressive. He’s got a style that reminds me of Klaus Janson and the layouts and design of the pages have been amazing.

| Published by Dynamite

The Realm #2 lives up to the promise of the first issue fairly well. The setting, somewhere between Shadowrun and Shannara, is still compelling in itself, but Seth Peck and Jeremy Haun do a great job of making us interested in finding out more about our fairly enigmatic cast of characters as well. It also helps that Haun’s art is gorgeous.

| Published by Image

ROM vs. Transformers: Shining Armor #4 makes me think that this is more of what Revolution probably should have been. Sure, it’s still filled with all out action in the battle between the two factions, Dire Wraiths/Decepticons vs. Space Knights/Autobots, but there’s a lot more cohesion here, better focus on the characters, and a fairly compelling plot. It’s not particularly complicated, but it doesn’t need to be, it’s entertaining, very well-illustrated, and the characters are engaging. John Barber, Christos Gage, and Alex Milne are doing a great job here.

| Published by IDW

Saban’s Go Go Power Rangers #4 again has some of the best art in comics today. Dan Mora is just incredible with his layouts, action, and storytelling that even if the writing from Ryan Parrott wasn’t good (and it is), this would still be a highly entertaining series.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Secret Warriors #7 is fairly inventive as it works its way to providing a reason for why the team should still exist. Matthew Rosenberg again utilizes humour to great effect to show some of the oddity of the heroes and their situation.

| Published by Marvel

Spy Seal #3 gets to some of the meat of the mystery as this penultimate issue ups the stakes and action. This has been very fun, at the height of many of the Tintin adventures and standing out among the best of Rich Tommaso’s works.

| Published by Image

Star Wars: Poe Dameron #20 kicks off a new arc, taking a brief break back at headquarters to deal with some personal stuff, before diving headlong back into the action and intrigue. It also puts voice to one of the funnier questions we all likely had during The Force Awakens.

| Published by Marvel

Transformers: Lost Light #10 takes us back to the Lost Light and, well, as expected it isn’t pretty. I’m quite interested to see where James Roberts is going to take us as Getaway’s mutiny is certainly one of the darker political angles the series has seen recently and likely the most horrific. You’re certainly left wondering why some of the more upstanding members of the crew still aboard know about what Getaway is doing and how complicit they are in some of the more heinous actions.

| Published by IDW

They’re Not Like Us #16 continues to tear apart the status quo set previously and throw our cast into new and deadly situations. As usual, the artwork from Simon Gane is incredible.

| Published by Image

Vampirella #7, despite being Paul Cornell’s last on the series, feels a lot like the series’ take on Moore’s “Anatomy Lesson”, redefining the character and her universe. New writer Jeremy Whitley co-writes this one, so there’s definitely some bit of the new direction he’s going to take, but, overall, it’s an interesting presentation of how this new series fits into Vampirella’s overall publishing history and how this new version of the character will be going forward. Also, the art by Andy Belanger is fabulous.

| Published by Dynamite

War Mother #3 ramps up the stakes for Ana’s tribe, while at the same time giving us a further revelation of the nature of the tribe’s personal affairs, thus advancing Max’s own machinations. Devious little kid. Fred Van Lente also gives us some welcome humour in FLACO’s little tantrum.

| Published by Valiant

Other Highlights: Cable #150, Champions #13, Curse Words #9, Dept. H #19, Descender #25, Genius: Cartel #3, Ghost Station Zero #3, Half-Past Danger 2 #2, Heartthrob Season 2 #4, Horizon #15, Incredible Hulk #709, Invincible Iron Man #593, Kill the Minotaur #5, Luke Cage #166, Lumberjanes #43, Mage: The Hero Denied #3, The Mighty Thor #700, Misfit City #6, Mister Higgins Comes Home, Monsters Unleashed #7, Optimus Prime: First Strike #1, Rashomon, Riverdale #7, ROM: First Strike #1, Shirtless Bear-Fighter #5, Spider-Gwen #25, Star Wars Adventures #3, TMNT Universe #15, Venom #156, X-Men Gold #14

Recommended Collections: Black Panther & The Crew: We Are the Streets, Cutter, Darkness Visible - Volume One, Deviations Beta, Giant Days - Volume Four, I Hate Fairyland - Volume Three: Good Girl, Jean Grey - Volume One: Nightmare Fuel, Low - Deluxe Hardcover Volume One, Plastic, Spider-Gwen - Volume Four: Predators, Star Wars Adventures - Volume One

d. emerson eddy does not seem to have an invisible touch. He can’t reach in and grab right hold of your heart. His hand just kind of hits your chest and it’s all kinds of awkward and he apologizes.

#This Week in Comics #Doctor Strange 26 #John Barber #Niko Henrichon #Kid Lobotomy 1 #Peter Milligan #Tess Fowler #Maestros 1 #Steve Skroce #Sherlock Frankenstein & The Legion of Evil 1 #Jeff Lemire #David Rubin

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jesusvasser · 5 years

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The 2019 BMW X7 Is the 7 Series of Huge-UVs

There may be no more appropriate place to road trip a new seven-seat SUV than the American Southwest, a region well-acquainted with high-occupancy haulers, from the jump-seat-equipped station wagons of the 1950s and ’60s to the suburban mall crawlers of today. But where you once could count on seeing gas stations shaped like cowboy hats, quaint diners, and roadside stalls hawking all manner of tchotchkes, such a journey is now largely a highway slog from one place with a Target to another place with a Target, with long stretches of beautifully barren desert broken up only by quick layovers at the next truck stop/knife emporium/Starbucks. This was the environment in which we drove the all-new BMW X7.

The South Carolina–built X7 is BMW’s first-ever huge-UV, and is an important addition to the company’s lineup in these utility-crazed times. In the U.S., it offers two powertrains, standard all-wheel drive, and seating for up to seven. The engine choices are a turbocharged inline-six good for 335 horsepower and 330 lb-ft of torque in the xDrive40i or a twin-turbo V-8 that stumps up a meaty 456 horses and 479 lb-ft in the xDrive50i. We drove both as part of a cross-country media drive that saw a train of X7s locomote from their birthplace in Spartanburg all the way to Los Angeles. We dropped in for a daylong blast from El Paso to Phoenix.

While our trip included time at moderate altitudes—3000 feet or so—both engines’ forced induction meant we hardly noticed, as neither lacked for breath. The six and the eight are each plenty strong at nearly any rpm, and in fact BMW’s own acceleration numbers are only 0.6 second apart, with the quicker 50i needing just 5.2 seconds to move its substantial 5,600-plus pounds to 60 mph. Also, the X7 will tow up to 7,500 pounds in gilded jet-skis or whatever you like.

The X7s tapped for the trip were all fully loaded or very close to it, so you won’t be able to experience their sumptuous, navy and white leather interiors; five-zone automatic climate control; massaging front seats; or top-spec Bowers & Wilkins surround-sound audio systems—among myriad other delights—for anywhere near their starting prices of $74,895 (xDrive40i) or $93,595 (xDrive50i). You’ll need to venture into six-figure territory to do so, as our 40i ran $100,995 and our 50i $120,945. In that price bracket, however, there’s not a more cosseting or luxurious full-size SUV on the road right now. Mercedes is prepping an all-new GLS for launch later this year, though, at which point the battle will truly be on.

We spent time riding in all three rows, and found each position to be comfortable and surrounded by extremely high-quality goods. The Full-Merino Leather option fitted to the test vehicles may seem expensive at $3,700, but it includes a hell of a lot of leather—ranchers will thank you for ordering it—and lines even the third-row seats, armrests, and trim in opulently supple double-stitched hides. (The package is $5,700 on the 40i if you don’t get the $1,600 leather seating pack, so splurge and save at the same time.)

Both versions we drove rode on gorgeous, max-spec 22-inch wheels and run-flat performance tires (20s and all-seasons are standard), so the key difference besides the engine between the X7s we drove was the 50i’s optional M Sport and Dynamic Handling packages. The ride quality of both models—the six-cylinder had the standard air suspension, the V-8 the Active Comfort Drive adjustable anti-roll bars—was acceptably supple on the relatively nice tarmac of our drive route, but we’ll wait to try similar models, as well as those on smaller wheels and all-season tires, on rougher roads to render a final verdict.

Jörg Wunder, the project manager for the X7 told us that the vehicle was developed to be more in the vein of the 7 Series than to simply be a larger version of the decidedly sporty-leaning X5, and both the extravagant and extensive equipment list and the driving character give truth to his statement. Left in its default Normal chassis mode, the tall X7 is a bit of a bob and weaver, with aggressive or abrupt inputs—or even sawing back and forth on the steering wheel to avoid, say, a stray tumbleweed or turquoise-jewelry vendor—leading to a small but noticeable amount of dive and squat, as well as a slight wiggle in the rear end. The X7 never feels unstable or out of sorts; it simply takes a moment to set itself right. There is a real Bimmer hiding underneath, though, once you activate Sport mode via a center-console-mounted button.

In Sport, especially with the Dynamic Handling–equipped 50i, the X7 cinches itself down, taking a set immediately on any change in direction. Sport also weights up the steering, invigorates the M Sport bundle’s active exhaust—which sounds fantastic, particularly from the third row; thrill the kids!—and lowers the ride height by 0.8 inch. Were it our X7, we’d use the Individual mode to select the lighter and slower but still feelsome Comfort steering, Sport suspension, and Sport powertrain settings. The latter two are key to finding the most enjoyment behind the wheel, and the X7 thankfully remembers which mode you were in when it was last turned off. We didn’t have a chance to push the 50i hard enough on our wending desert route to truly feel the M Sport differential in action, but our experience in other BMWs says the hardware will do what it’s supposed to, namely mitigate understeer and help the big SUV turn into corners with more alacrity.

While the size of BMW’s traditional kidney grilles has caused some consternation among the internet commentariat, they’re fine in person—more overly renal than overwrought. (The M Sport body kit’s huge, Cybertronic mouth is more problematic to our eye.) And really, the X7 is in general more handsome than it might seem in photographs, the upright greenhouse counterbalancing the SUV’s acres of sheetmetal and providing a sense of brightness inside, even in the back row of seats.

Accessing the way back is accomplished by moving the power-operated second row forward, which can be done by the driver or via switches inside the C-pillar or cargo area. Prepare to be patient, though, as the electric motors are much slower than a nonmotorized mechanism. (Or just get the second-row captain’s chairs; you’ll reduce capacity by one but gain an aisle.) Once back there, passengers have access to a glass roof panel with its own power shade, a reasonable amount of room for an average adult, and two USB-C ports. There are also two USB-C ports in the second row, and single USB-C and regular USB ports up front.

BMW may be a vehicle generation behind Mercedes and its GLS-class to the full-size luxury SUV table, but the X7 accomplishes what it set out to do, namely be hugely comfortable, hugely capable, and hugely luxurious. Prepare yourself to see a lot of them—they’ll certainly be hard to miss.

2019 BMW X7 Specifications

ON SALE Now PRICE xDrive40i, $74,895; xDrive50i, $93,595 ENGINE 3.0L turbocharged DOHC 24-valve inline-6, 335 hp, 330 lb-ft; 4.0L twin-turbocharged DOHC 32-valve V-8, 456 hp, 479 lb-ft TRANSMISSION 8-speed automatic LAYOUT 4-door, 6- or 7-passenger, front-engine, AWD hatchback EPA MILEAGE 15–20/21–25 mpg (city/hwy) L x W x H 203.3 x 87.3 x 71.1 in WHEELBASE 122.2 in WEIGHT 5,370–5,617 lb (mfr) 0–60 MPH 5.2–5.8 sec (mfr) TOP SPEED 130 mph (mfr)

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eddiejpoplar · 5 years

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The 2019 BMW X7 Is the 7 Series of Huge-UVs

2019 BMW X7 Specifications

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jonathanbelloblog · 5 years

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The 2019 BMW X7 Is the 7 Series of Huge-UVs

2019 BMW X7 Specifications

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thecrazeddm-blog · 6 years

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The Legend of The Dungeon Crawlers Chapter 6 - Warriors of Terracotta -

Upon the fall of the snake haired woman, Markus retrieved the head of this monstrosity and handed it to Sev, who advised they take it as proof, to the guards in Everwylde, that they had taken care of the problem that hung over the village like an out of reach jar on a very high shelf. The group gathered their bearings and set off out of the woods and towards Everwylde.

Arriving back in the small village, the party made their way to the guards to bring the head of the beast besieging the woods and in return be rewarded for their efforts. Slamming the cold severed head of this Medusa down onto the table, Sev explained that the party had taken care of the issue and kindly asked for a reward due to them risking their lives for the entire population of Everwylde. The guards agreed to Sev’s request and the party was handsomely rewarded with a heaping sack of gold pieces. With nothing left to be taken care of in the small village, the party set off for their main current objective, to take the gem to Lady Formoza.

Through winding woods the adventurers ventured until they finally arrived at their destination, Lady Formoza’s house was a large oriental pagoda like building with a pond and bridge out the front of her home to give the feeling that this was a place of peace and perhaps worship. The party crossed to bridge and made their way to the front door of Lady Formoza’s house. In the centre of the large oak wood door, was a large dragon-head shaped knocker in which Branch wrapped his hand around and let it fly against the door, sending loud echoed knocks through the halls inside. After a few moments of silence, a small elderly woman, dressed in a red dress and hair pinned back with a feather, opened the door and asked the party hat business they had with her. The party explained that they had retrieved the gem that was rightfully hers and handed it over, with haste she snatched it from Branch’s hands and ushered them away from her home, and as she did, she slammed the door in their faces.

The party, stunned and utterly confused turned away from the door to notice that something was lurking in the pond out the front, it appeared that something was watching them. The party noticed that the day was becoming the afternoon and they decided to set up camp on the other side of the pond while they also investigated this spy in the water. After minutes of looking in the water a woman emerged from the water, a nymph, who took a liking towards Sev while Markus, Branch and Zarmeros looked from afar. Time passes and Sev had learnt that the nymph’s name was Mamoress and that she was a kind and gentle soul who meant no harm, she didn’t know who these strangers were, she’d never seen a group quite so strange. Night began to fall and Sev was rewarded with a glowing green necklace which is more commonly known as the heart of a nymph, Mamoress trusted him enough to give her most prized possession to him, he had earnt it from his kind and gentle manner towards her and the fact that he was already in touch with nature to some extent. After their exchange, Mamoress decided that it was time for her to leave and swim back upstream in which the pond was connected to a small river.

After spending a long dark night on the other side of Lady Formoza’s garden, Dawn arrived and the party decided to investigate what Lady Formoza was keeping hidden as she was so eager to retrieve the gem from the party’s possession. The adventurers strode around and scoped out the location and only found one way in, the front door, so they entered quietly, trying to stay stealthy and not alert those inside. Inside was an ornate archway, carved with great finesse and made to look like dragons wrapping around banisters, to the left a small room for lounging and drinking with guests, to the right a room filled with glass display cases and other cupboards to go with them. The party entered the room to the right and looked around, small dragon sculptures made of jade sat on shelves and beautifully crafted swords lie on bed of satin encased with glass, but something was strange about this room. A large cupboard at the back of the room had one of its doors slightly ajar with a faint blue glow emerging from the gap. Markus took charge and investigated the cupboard while Zarmeros took some of the items from the room, for safe keeping purposes. Inside the cupboard, a small silver circlet lie on a small red pillow, the circlet was decorated with small blue jewels that gave a faint glow upon close inspection. Cold to the touch, Markus picked up the circlet and tucked it in his small rucksack, it was fit for Lady Ellana, just her size and would don her head with grace, everything a princess would need.

In the following corridor resided a large statue of a dragon and upon approach, it spoke to the party. The statue enlightened the group that he had a brother in the corridor on the opposite side of the house, one of the brothers always lies but the other tells the truth and the door to the side of them would lead to Lady Formoza but one of the doors held a curse that upon entering, would hurt and diminish the powers of whoever went through for some time. The party made their way to the other statue and conversed with it, the party came to a conclusion after a befuddled conversation with both of the statutes, the party made the correct decision and made their way through without harm.

Inside, Lady Formoza was placing the large green gem in the centre of an altar and around her, Three dragons made of pure jade, the size of large horses accompanied by two large warriors, made from terracotta, armed with spears at their sides. Once the gem was placed on the altar. The dragons and warriors of terracotta animated and sprung to life, but with evil intent. The party immediately started quarrel with the inhabitants of the room and after a long fight and getting nowhere, Markus drew a bow and nocked an arrow then he let it fly, like a bird in the night it swooped into action, and completely shattered the gem into thousands of shards, destroying what its power had created. The dragons and warriors fell to the ground, lifeless and the last one standing was the old hag herself, Zarmeros nocked an arrow and immediately let it fly, piercing through her heart and stopping her evil reign in the small part of the woods. Before leaving the party noticed something strange about their inventories, there was something missing from Markus, Zarmeros and Sev’s packs, the small dolls of themselves.

After the fall of their foes, the party made their way out with haste, and upon exiting the building, Ellana stepped through a portal just on the opposite side of the bridge and as she stepped out, her and the rest of the party saw something by the tree near the pond, something was hanging from the branches and something dark and evil had been carved into the tree itself.

#dnd shenanigans #DnD 5e #dnd

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jonathanbelloblog · 5 years

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The 2019 Chevrolet Colorado ZR2 Bison Is Off-Road’s Ludicrous Mode

PHOENIX, Arizona — Tesla Motors is famous for the “Ludicrous Mode” offered on its top-spec Model S sedans, a performance enhancing bit of software that allows the car to accelerate with face-crushing force, a fact well-documented all over YouTube. The new Bison version of the Chevy Colorado ZR2 mid-size pickup truck is the off-road equivalent of Ludicrous Mode.

The Bison won’t smash your face, but it will smash a smile onto it. The standard ZR2 is already a massively capable truck, an upgrade from the already competent base Colorado. You want to pick up the kids from school, hit a few jumps, visit a remote hiking trail, then grab some groceries on the way home? The ZR2 is your right-sized go-to.

If, however, you’d like to add some truly treacherous rock gardens to your daily adventure, then you’ll want to check out the Bison. Upgraded beyond ZR2 spec with an array of rock sliders, skid plates, and crawling-oriented damper tuning, the ZR2 Bison is the hardest-core among the Colorado brotherhood.

Built in collaboration with overlanding specialists American Expedition Vehicles, the ZR2 Bison gets a range of upgrades that not only expand the Colorado’s capability but also its durability in hellacious off-road environments. Upgrades beyond the ZR2’s already impressive equipment list include rocker slider bars, boron-steel skid plates, cast-iron control arms, an Autotrac transfer case, and electronically locking front and rear differentials. There’s also a modified 3.42:1 axle ratio, 3.5-inch wider front and rear tracks, and a total suspension lift of about two inches compared to a Colorado with the Z71 off-road package.

Engine options for the Bison are the same as any other Colorado: a 3.6-liter gasoline V-6 rated at 308 horsepower and 275 lb-ft of torque or a 2.8-liter four-cylinder diesel good for 184 hp and 369 lb-ft of torque. The primary difference between the two engines is where the horses live; the gas engine makes peak horsepower at 6,800 rpm while the diesel makes its max available from 3,400 rpm. The theme continues in the torque department, with the gas peak arriving at 4,000 rpm and the diesel at 2,000.

There are a few exterior cues to clue you in to the fact that you’re looking at a Bison rather than a standard ZR2 as well. There’s a new flow-through CHEVROLET-lettered grille, fatter fender flares, AEV-designed steel front and rear bumpers (with winch provisions up front and integrated A356-T6 cast-aluminum recovery points and tubular, chassis-mounted corner protection out back), and 31-inch Goodyear Wrangler Duratrac off-road tires on 17×8-inch wheels designed by AEV specifically for the Bison. Ordering the optional snorkel air intake saves you the stress of taking a huge hole saw to the front fender of your brand-new truck. AEV branding inside and out includes embroidered logos on the seat headrests.

If that sounds like a lot, that’s because it is. The package thus comes at a price that reflects the bounty of rock-bouncing booty: $48,045, a premium of about $4,500 over the standard ZR2. Opt for a crew cab and the Bison’s sticker ratchets up to $49,645.

Does the little-truck-that-could justify its big-truck price tag? Yes, it does—in part because in order to get a full-size truck equipped to this level of ability, you’ll likely be spending toward the far side of $75,000 without the luxury of a factory warranty covering the aftermarket off-road gear. That’s right, the Bison’s upgrades are all covered by the standard warranty. Being built on the Colorado platform, your shiny new go-anywhere ZR2 Bison has a significant advantage over the full-size field: It’s not nearly as wide or as long. The Bison’s prodigious capabilities mean it can go anywhere a full-size truck can go, and its smaller size means it can go many places those full-sizers can’t.

That warranty is meaningful, because unlike so many oh-so-gnarly yet oh-so-clean

mall crawlers, the ZR2 Bison actually encourages hard use. Sure, it’ll get you to work and the kids to karate practice and the dogs to the groomers just fine, but come the weekend, it’ll be whining and scraping at the garage door, begging to be let out to play.

And play you will. Those head-sized rocks over there? A tasty hors d’oeuvre. Beyond them, that snaking, tire-blackened path over what looks like dog-sized chunks of a volcano’s final, fitful burst of creativity? The main course. And unlike the standard ZR2, which would happily traverse most of the same paths as the Bison, you won’t have to worry about ventilating the oil pan or protecting other sensitive underbelly parts thanks to those boron-steel skid plates and rocker bars.

A spotter is a must-have for serious off-road terrain, especially if you’d like to make it through with the vehicle mostly intact; the Bison’s impressive armor won’t protect you from sliding sideways in a V-shaped chute and crunching your door skin against the rocks. Fortunately, our test drive in a boulder-strewn desert wash outside Phoenix included keen-eyed folks who helped us find the line through a course that would have cowed many Tacoma and Wrangler drivers.

Hood pointed toward the sky, balanced on two kitty-corner wheels, engine loping at a low idle with the transfer case in 4L, those hand signals directing your steering angle and throttle usage are lifesavers—or at least paint-savers. “Leave no trace” is a motto for humans using the trails; the trails have no such compunction about leaving their traces on your shiny new truck. Fortunately, the Bison is as easy to drive as you’d expect of a Chevy truck, and it makes easy work of the roughest paths, even without flipping the switches on the electronically actuated front and rear locking diffs—though those do make slick or especially steep sections easier.

Straight out of the box, the Colorado ZR2 Bison is an amazing overlanding truck, missing only a rooftop tent on a bed-mounted rack or topper, some solar panels and batteries, a camp stove, and a portable refrigerator. With those upgrades, the Bison would be ready to point its big, black grille toward the Great Wide Open and see how ludicrously long you could go without seeing another human face. The only question at that point would be whether you’re ready, too.

2019 Chevrolet Colorado ZR2 Bison Specifications

ON SALE Now PRICE $48,045 (ext. cab); $49,645 (crew cab) ENGINE 3.6-liter DOHC 24-valve V-6; 308 hp @ 6,800 rpm, 275 lb-ft @ 4,000 rpm 2.8-liter DOHC 16-valve turbodiesel I-4; 186 hp @ 3,400 rpm, 369 lb-ft @ 2,000 rpm TRANSMISSION 8-speed automatic (V-6); 6-speed automatic (diesel) LAYOUT 4-door, 4–5 passenger, front-engine 4WD truck EPA MILEAGE 16/18 mpg (gas, city/highway); 19/22 mpg (diesel, city/highway L x W x H 212.4 x 76.6 x 72.2 in WHEELBASE 128.5 in WEIGHT 4,639–5,011 (est) 0-60 MPH N/A

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jesusvasser · 5 years

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The 2019 Chevrolet Colorado ZR2 Bison Is Off-Road’s Ludicrous Mode

That warranty is meaningful, because unlike so many oh-so-gnarly yet oh-so-clean

2019 Chevrolet Colorado ZR2 Bison Specifications

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